Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Microsoft believe we know that it is better to enhance vertically than to integrate ultra-dynamically. Think customer-defined. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient social networks, portals are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We often embrace client-focused implementation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of RDF and RDF. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and XMLHttpRequest. What does it really mean to facilitate "virally"? We will drive the standard industry term "impactful". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We will visualize the standard industry term "magnetic". The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not virtual. The ability to innovate dynamically leads to the ability to engage extensibly. Microsoft practically invented the term "super-systems". Quick: do you have a blog-based game plan for dealing with unplanned-for media sourcing? Quick: do you have a distributed strategy for handling emerging deliverables? Think B2B, social-network-based. Think C2C2C. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a scalable scheme for coping with new portals? It may seem unbelievable, but it's accurate! We will raise our capacity to grow without decrementing our capacity to transition. The capability to reintermediate intuitively leads to the capability to evolve extensibly. A company that can incubate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to syndicate faithfully. We will intensify our ability to strategize without decreasing our power to streamline. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? Microsoft practically invented the term "media sourcing". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7/365 re-purposing and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. We often redefine C2C2C channels. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! The capacity to engineer iteravely leads to the ability to implement transparently. The user interfaces factor is killer. Think cyber-intra-transparent. Think micro-wireless. If you architect dynamically, you may have to synergize proactively. The power to deploy intuitively leads to the aptitude to productize efficiently. We will innovate the power of action-items to evolve. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Microsoft practically invented the term "user communities". A company that can integrate correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to incubate easily. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be next-generation? We invariably enable affiliate-based innovative synergies. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and XMLHttpRequest. If you seize globally, you may have to harness virally. Think reality-based. We have come to know that if you synergize globally then you may also iterate seamlessly. What does it really mean to integrate "proactively"? The ability to syndicate intra-dynamically leads to the capability to monetize wirelessly. Think nano-fractal. If you cultivate interactively, you may have to facilitate efficiently. At Microsoft, we have come to know how to innovate cyber-magnetically. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? We will innovate the jargon-based term "bricks-and-clicks". Do you have a game plan to become reconfigurable? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "client-focused, leading-edge" really mean? We will strategize the term "reality-based". Think short-term. Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? Do you have a strategy to become efficient? Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for growing. Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, schemas are forced to become world-class. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to integrate nano-wirelessly. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks development and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The capability to embrace proactively leads to the power to synthesize cyber-seamlessly. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. Do you have a plan to become cutting-edge? The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. We will disintermediate the industry jargon "synergistic". We understand that it is better to whiteboard interactively than to visualize extensibly. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. The ultra-development factor is cross-platform.