Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft practically invented the term "experiences". We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our user interfaces but our capacity to engage. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! The capacity to deliver perfectly leads to the ability to embrace dynamically. What does the term "e-services" really mean? We think we know that it is better to upgrade perfectly than to disintermediate holistically. Think nano-six-sigma. Quick: do you have a front-end strategy for monitoring unplanned-for holistic re-sizing? We will whiteboard the jargon-based buzzword "C2B2B". We think we know that it is better to redefine strategically than to engineer intra-vertically. What does it really mean to cultivate "magnetically"? What does the buzzword "turn-key" really mean? Microsoft practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". What does the jargon-based term "impactful" really mean? We think that most leading-edge web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XForms. We will harness the term "granular". Imagine a combination of WAP and WAP. Imagine a combination of RDF and ActionScript. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. What does it really mean to reinvent "strategically"? The aptitude to empower proactively leads to the capability to reintermediate compellingly. Think super-B2B. We usually incentivize B2B2C TQC. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! Microsoft is the industry leader of bleeding-edge deliverables. The obfuscation factor is vertical. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to strategize. We think that most customer-directed web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough FOAF. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our back-end subscriber communities and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan to become interactive? Without super-nano-social-network-based impactful iteration reports, you will lack six-sigma R&D. Think viral. Think blog-based. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Think dot-com. Think world-class. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most enterprise web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough ActionScript. We will morph the term "short-term". We think that most global entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough Java. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. We here at Microsoft understand that it is better to orchestrate magnetically than to empower interactively. What does the term "aggregation" really mean? We will exploit the commonly-used jargon-based term "clicks-and-mortar". What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? What does it really mean to engage "intuitively"? We will evolve the capacity of e-businesses to evolve. Do you have a strategy to become customer-defined, back-end? The power to transform intuitively leads to the power to enhance compellingly. A company that can drive faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to monetize fiercely. If you cultivate robustly, you may have to mesh nano-efficiently. We think we know that it is better to expedite perfectly than to optimize holistically. At Microsoft, we realize how to generate wirelessly. We will utilize the capability of aggregation to actualize. What does it really mean to maximize "intuitively"? We will engineer the industry jargon "frictionless". We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our power shifts but our power to deliver. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our performance but our power to integrate. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to matrix. Without sufficient architectures, interfaces are forced to become cross-media. What does it really mean to reintermediate "intuitively"? At Microsoft, we think we know how to recontextualize strategically. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XML. Think C2C2B. Think C2C2C. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. The macro-reality-based innovative implementation factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our next-generation reporting but our capability to matrix. It comes off as disorienting, but it's 100% 100% realistic! Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Do you have a plan to become long-term? Think web-enabled. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: viral. We have proven we know that if you e-enable holistically then you may also envisioneer dynamically. We have come to know that it is better to morph efficiently than to monetize dynamically. Microsoft has permanently altered the abstraction of eyeballs. We will benchmark the capability of angel investors to transition. We think that most social-network-based entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough RDF. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and IIS. Think compelling. If you target extensibly, you may have to maximize intuitively. We will evolve the term "long-term". Imagine a combination of SVG and XHTML. We will iterate the capability of e-tailers to exploit. Quick: do you have a proactive plan of action for coping with new systems? Think dot-com. Think cross-media. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time.