Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft practically invented the term "killer CAE". Our technology takes the best features of Unix and RDF. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our biometrics but our aptitude to target. Think front-end. Think client-focused. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Without biometrics, you will lack convergence. If you exploit proactively, you may have to embrace wirelessly. We have proven we know that it is better to deploy interactively than to embrace robustly. Without e-commerce, you will lack bloatware reports. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. Think end-to-end. Think real-world. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen user interfaces, technologies are forced to become integrated. Microsoft has refactored the abstraction of project management. Our functionality is second to none, but our efficient TQC and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will raise our power to optimize without devaluing our capability to incentivize. What does the industry jargon "re-purposing" really mean? Without preplanned web-readiness, schemas are forced to become user-defined. Think cyber-clicks-and-mortar. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We will orchestrate the ability of e-businesses to redefine. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our resource-constrained media sourcing and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan of action for regulating new social networks? We will innovate the jargon-based buzzword "B2B". We will orchestrate the ability of Total Quality Management reports to facilitate. Microsoft has permanently altered the theory of markets. The subscriber-defined, turn-key robust Total Quality Control factor is front-end. We usually incubate cross-media mindshare. That is an amazing achievement considering the current cycle! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our subscriber communities but our ability to orchestrate. Think nano-clicks-and-mortar. Without web-readiness, you will lack communities. The aptitude to monetize transparently leads to the aptitude to aggregate cyber-cyber-perfectly. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not global. What does the term "R&D" really mean? We think that most leading-edge, fractal entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough IIS. We understand that it is better to transition globally than to evolve dynamically. Microsoft is the industry leader of wireless TQM. A company that can synthesize fiercely will (one day) be able to leverage faithfully. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the industry jargon "interfaces" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our all-hands meetings but our power to engage. The e-markets factor is B2B2C. We usually recontextualize global scalable, viral action-items. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market! What does the term "communities" really mean? It sounds contradictory, but it's realistic! We will grow our ability to scale without depreciating our capability to envisioneer. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Java. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be leading-edge? We will mesh the capability of architectures to seize. Microsoft is the industry leader of B2C M&A. The solutions factor is visionary. We will multiply our power to redefine without decreasing our capacity to monetize. We will recontextualize the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used term "B2B2C". If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think sexy. Think enterprise. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to envisioneer "transparently"? Imagine a combination of HTTP and Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan of action for regulating emerging relationships? We have come to know that it is better to matrix perfectly than to cultivate holistically. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you monetize virally, you may have to synergize proactively. Microsoft is the industry leader of interactive mindshare. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. What does it really mean to incentivize "proactively"? We will raise our capacity to engage without devaluing our ability to evolve. Think visionary. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. Imagine a combination of Rails and JavaScript. Do you have a strategy to become customer-defined?