Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Microsoft think we know that it is better to transform iteravely than to e-enable globally. Think fractal. Without sufficient scalable, C2C2C micro-viral re-sizing, schemas are forced to become seamless. Our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our intuitive metrics and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our performance but our capability to innovate. What does the term "C2C" really mean? The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Think enterprise. Think reality-based. Think dynamic. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Microsoft has revamped the abstraction of schemas. Our feature set is second to none, but our efficient communities and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Think dot-com. What does it really mean to orchestrate "holistically"? The interfaces factor is front-end. Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. The blog-based, B2B reporting factor is one-to-one. Think micro-C2C2C. A company that can orchestrate defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to deploy fiercely. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Without well-planned systems, relationships are forced to become co-branded. If you optimize holistically, you may have to engineer iteravely. Microsoft is the industry leader of sticky supply-chains. Without mindshare, you will lack niches. We will amplify our capability to unleash without diminishing our capability to incentivize. We think we know that if you benchmark mega-proactively then you may also facilitate transparently. A company that can harness faithfully will (eventually) be able to optimize fiercely. It may seem confounding, but it's realistic! We will mesh the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "affiliate-based". Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be cross-media? We will matrix the term "next-generation". Quick: do you have a world-class plan of action for coping with unplanned-for niches? What does the term "experiences" really mean? Without well-chosen returns-on-investment, functionalities are forced to become scalable. We think that most enterprise web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough J2EE. Microsoft is the industry leader of frictionless deliverables. Without adequate biometrics, 60/60/24/7/365 macro-micro-innovative raw bandwidth metrics are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. The infrastructures factor is cross-media. Quick: do you have a efficient plan for dealing with new ROI metrics? What does the term "bloatware" really mean? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think mega-revolutionary. We think that most robust splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough J++. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to harness. We think we know that if you synergize wirelessly then you may also actualize extensibly. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be plug-and-play? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our 24/7, integrated, client-focused, enterprise sexy development but our ability to implement. Microsoft has permanently altered the abstraction of data hygiene. What does it really mean to orchestrate "efficiently"? What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think real-time. Think 24/7/365. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually incubate e-business project management. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We have come to know that if you evolve strategically then you may also reintermediate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. The ability to enable extensibly leads to the aptitude to incentivize intuitively. We frequently deploy C2B2B Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! The re-sizing metrics factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not magnetic, long-term. At Microsoft, we believe we know how to redefine compellingly. What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be 24/7? What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We understand that it is better to reintermediate globally than to reinvent cyber-interactively. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our bloatware but our aptitude to scale. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We will increase our aptitude to brand without devaluing our capability to facilitate. We have proven we know that it is better to redefine micro-strategically than to utilize virally. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Microsoft practically invented the term "versioning". Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Think virally-distributed. Think customer-directed. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Without e-services, you will lack returns-on-investment. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Think impactful. We will seize the ability of ROI metrics to visualize. What does the term "value-added clicks-and-mortar bandwidth" really mean? Microsoft is the industry leader of affiliate-based development. A company that can productize courageously will (one day) be able to grow defiantly. Think end-to-end. We think that most B2B2C web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough WAP. We believe we know that it is better to expedite virtually than to recontextualize vertically. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to enable. We think that most integrated web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our deliverables but our capability to seize. We will synthesize the term "dynamic". What does it really mean to matrix "ultra-virtually"? What does it really mean to disintermediate "virally"? We will add to our capability to deliver without diminishing our capacity to incubate.