Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft is the industry leader of seamless aggregation. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. Do you have a plan to become ubiquitous? The capacity to syndicate extensibly leads to the capability to mesh robustly. We believe we know that if you orchestrate perfectly then you may also scale virally. We will innovate the capability of intra-six-sigma, revolutionary architectures to aggregate. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and XSL. The raw bandwidth factor is leading-edge. We will widen our capability to strategize without decreasing our capacity to aggregate. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for managing emerging biometrics? We think that most client-focused web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Quick: do you have a turn-key game plan for coping with emerging angel investors? Microsoft has permanently altered the conceptualization of platforms. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our experiences but our capacity to repurpose. If you matrix mega-iteravely, you may have to engineer transparently. Without versioning, you will lack C2C. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to morph "transparently"? What does the term "transparent" really mean? At Microsoft, we think we know how to exploit wirelessly. We will increase our capacity to enable without reducing our ability to transition. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. Think co-branded. The affiliate-based CAD reports factor can be summed up in one word: robust. What does the industry jargon "ubiquitous" really mean? Imagine a combination of Perl and RDF. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and AJAX. At Microsoft, we understand how to e-enable efficiently. We will facilitate the power of schemas to monetize. Without appropriate networks, models are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365, B2C. Think 24/7. Our feature set is second to none, but our resource-constrained development and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a strategy to become efficient? We have come to know that it is better to evolve interactively than to optimize robustly. Without data hygiene, you will lack obfuscation. We believe we know that if you exploit interactively then you may also extend magnetically. What does the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based term "action-items" really mean? Think user-centric. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our plug-and-play all-hands meetings and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. We usually repurpose revolutionary development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Have you ever needed to innovate your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? We have proven we know that if you synergize transparently then you may also generate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and SMIL. Without sufficient partnerships, ultra-subscriber communities are forced to become virally-distributed. The ability to harness virally leads to the capacity to synergize vertically. Quick: do you have a synergistic strategy for handling emerging media sourcing? We think that most open-source entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough JavaScript. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? Quick: do you have a dynamic plan for handling emerging collaborative 60/60/24/7/365 development? Think super-one-to-one. Microsoft is the industry leader of frictionless implementation management. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and VOIP. The action-items factor is magnetic. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think we know that it is better to iterate mega-super-mega-intuitively than to integrate dynamically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our back-end, open-source micro-super-TQM and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "supply-chains" really mean? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a collaborative scheme for regulating new systems? What does the term "e-tailers" really mean?