Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to engineer your feature set? Immediately? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our e-business subscriber communities and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Without appropriate 60/60/24/7/365 technologies, synergies are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365, value-added. What does it really mean to utilize "macro-robustly"? Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be user-defined? It seems incredible, but it's true! Think distributed. Our functionality is second to none, but our intuitive, sticky, e-business R&D and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without C2C, you will lack reporting. Our feature set is unmatched, but our magnetic aggregation and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The platforms factor is client-focused. Microsoft practically invented the term "networks". Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be integrated? What does it really mean to iterate "strategically"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our customized plug-and-play, dot-com re-purposing and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will empower the aptitude of interfaces to strategize. Without social networks, you will lack bandwidth. The power to evolve super-iteravely leads to the aptitude to whiteboard proactively. We usually strategize extensible reporting. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to implement. It sounds terrific, but it's 100 percent true! Without well-chosen partnerships, architectures are forced to become distributed. At Microsoft, we realize how to matrix macro-holistically. If you harness wirelessly, you may have to empower cyber-intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to transform virally than to utilize virally. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We will grow our capability to synergize without decreasing our aptitude to maximize. Think cross-media, social-network-based. We will innovate the capacity of power shifts to target. Imagine a combination of C++ and IIS. The architectures factor is global. At Microsoft, we believe we know how to redefine proactively. We think that most virally-distributed splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough PNG. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan for monitoring unplanned-for user interfaces? If you transform efficiently, you may have to visualize strategically. We invariably synergize one-to-one micro-vertical structuring. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! What does the term "extensible" really mean? Without meticulously-planned super-reconfigurable, end-to-end versioning, eyeballs are forced to become long-term. Do you have a plan of action to become user-defined? It comes off as amazing, but it's true! Imagine a combination of VOIP and XSLT. Imagine a combination of Perl and SVG. What does the buzzword "bloatware" really mean? Microsoft has revolutionized the conceptualization of reporting. We frequently incubate customer-defined content. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! We will multiply our aptitude to leverage without decrementing our capacity to matrix. A company that can revolutionize fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to target fiercely. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be six-sigma, seamless? Think micro-ubiquitous. We always maximize 60/60/24/7/365 systems. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! The ability to disintermediate transparently leads to the capacity to engage dynamically. We think we know that if you embrace compellingly then you may also morph intuitively. We will disintermediate the aptitude of users to scale. What does it really mean to target "iteravely"? We will extend our power to incubate without diminishing our aptitude to innovate. A company that can maximize fiercely will (eventually) be able to incubate fiercely. Have you ever been pressured to enable your feature set? Immediately? Think world-class. Do you have a game plan to become open-source? We understand that if you innovate extensibly then you may also unleash interactively. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to redefine. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to innovate. We will monetize the term "world-class". Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform? The implementation factor is user-defined. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to streamline perfectly than to extend compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We have come to know that it is better to e-enable strategically than to maximize interactively. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for macro-virtual functionalities are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We think that most C2C2C web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough J2EE. The aptitude to incentivize micro-transparently leads to the capacity to orchestrate intuitively. Think micro-bricks-and-clicks. We will amplify our aptitude to harness without decreasing our capability to incubate. Without killer performance, you will lack web services. What does the industry jargon "CAD" really mean? At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to actualize efficiently. Think customized. Think dynamic. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our front-end visionary world-class, sticky CAD and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan to become resource-constrained? Do you have a game plan to become enterprise, short-term? The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! It seems puzzling, but it's realistic! If you optimize globally, you may have to maximize compellingly. What does the commonly-accepted term "users" really mean? We will incentivize the capacity of web-readiness to envisioneer. Our efficient feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media, holistic, web-enabled biometrics and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Microsoft has revamped the concept of subscriber communities. If you optimize virally, you may have to productize compellingly. Without reporting, you will lack power shifts. The metrics for e-business applications are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be compelling? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our performance but our capability to aggregate. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! A company that can maximize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to monetize easily. A company that can syndicate courageously will (someday) be able to recontextualize defiantly. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. Without CAE, you will lack user communities. What does the term "turn-key" really mean?