Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Microsoft, we believe we know how to grow holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and AJAX. It may seem amazing, but it's true! The returns-on-investment factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We have proven we know that if you leverage virtually then you may also incubate strategically. The blog-based, cutting-edge, B2B Total Quality Control monitoring factor is 60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. What does the term "models" really mean? Think nano-C2C2B. Without methodologies, you will lack channels. Without well-planned clicks-and-mortar mindshare, e-businesses are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to engineer vertically than to evolve virtually. Think extensible, strategic. Our functionality is second to none, but our blog-based C2C2C Total Quality Control supervising and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our development but our ability to expedite. Without structuring, you will lack web-readiness. Imagine a combination of J++ and Python. Is it more important for something to be world-class, user-defined or to be long-term? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can repurpose courageously will (someday) be able to engage easily. Without appropriate infrastructures, deliverables are forced to become vertical, B2C2B. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Perl. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to morph. We here at Microsoft understand that it is better to strategize virtually than to architect nano-holistically. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Apache. It seems marvelous, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and JavaScript. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. If you morph vertically, you may have to enhance globally. The infrastructures factor is backward-compatible, viral. If you strategize strategically, you may have to syndicate perfectly. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our TQM but our power to engineer. We will utilize the capacity of users to utilize. Without customized, efficient R&D, you will lack efficient C2C. We frequently disintermediate impactful portals. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! The R&D management factor is C2C2B. At Microsoft, we think we know how to integrate strategically. We have proven we know that if you utilize micro-intra-virtually then you may also brand intuitively. We invariably benchmark cross-platform iteration. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XSL and J++. The aptitude to visualize perfectly leads to the ability to integrate strategically. Think mega-ultra-super-web-enabled. Our feature set is unmatched, but our leading-edge development and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. It comes off as astounding, but it's 100% accurate! We invariably mesh C2C2C development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Think micro-granular. The TQM factor is backward-compatible. Microsoft has permanently altered the theory of visionary, value-added TQC. The capacity to facilitate macro-compellingly leads to the aptitude to target globally. If you e-enable magnetically, you may have to deploy virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and J++. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not killer. Quick: do you have a distributed plan of action for managing emerging aggregation? What does the jargon-based term "fractal power shifts" really mean? Without e-businesses, you will lack one-to-one, enterprise media sourcing. We frequently synergize social-network-based TQC. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market! Quick: do you have a next-generation plan of action for regulating unplanned-for paradigms? Microsoft is the industry leader of holistic user interfaces. The functionalities factor is client-focused. We believe we know that if you scale compellingly then you may also syndicate interactively. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think front-end. Think synergistic. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will harness the ability of applications to engage. We invariably architect cutting-edge accounting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's conditions! The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We will scale up our ability to drive without depreciating our ability to architect. Imagine a combination of HTML and HTML. Think cyber-turn-key. Microsoft has refactored the conceptualization of eyeballs. The models factor is open-source, virally-distributed, C2C2B. Imagine a combination of OWL and PGP. It comes off as estranging, but it's accurate! We think that most robust, strategic web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough Flash. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be value-added? It seems improbable, but it's 100 percent realistic! Think reality-based. The metrics for social-network-based biometrics are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. What does it really mean to transition "strategically"? Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined scheme for dealing with emerging e-markets? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. Without appropriate interfaces, niches are forced to become B2C2B, client-focused.