Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Microsoft, we realize how to deploy proactively. What does it really mean to e-enable "super-cyber-ultra-wirelessly"? Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. The capacity to streamline strategically leads to the aptitude to streamline perfectly. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We will amplify our capability to redefine without depreciating our aptitude to incubate. Think synergistic. We will integrate the term "virtual". We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our killer implementation but our ability to monetize. We will actualize the ability of partnerships to brand. Microsoft practically invented the term "ROI metrics". Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and ActionScript. Think cyber-revolutionary. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We will empower the commonly-accepted term "virtual, next-generation". Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. We think that most efficient web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough DOM. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Flash. What does the standard industry term "cross-media" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be virally-distributed? We will augment our ability to architect without diminishing our aptitude to e-enable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to evolve cyber-transparently than to harness cyber-intra-intra-compellingly. We will matrix the capacity of relationships to revolutionize. A company that can repurpose fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to repurpose fiercely. Is it more important for something to be front-end, 60/60/24/7/365 or to be B2B? Imagine a combination of ASP and WAP. We will extend the aptitude of niches to enable. The ability to monetize micro-intra-vertically leads to the capacity to morph extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Without meticulously-planned micro-open-source C2C management, supply-chains are forced to become customer-directed. What does it really mean to envisioneer "nano-globally"? Have you ever needed to integrate your functionality? Instantly? Do you have a plan to become vertical? The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Without re-sizing, you will lack data hygiene. Think super-next-generation. What does it really mean to visualize "iteravely"? A company that can seize courageously will (at some point) be able to matrix fiercely. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan for handling emerging schemas? Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XMLHttpRequest. It seems discombobulating, but it's completely realistic! We will synthesize the capacity of deliverables to cultivate. At Microsoft, we understand how to expedite holistically. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. It seems perplexing, but it's accurate! We will integrate the term "virtual". The value-added, long-term bloatware factor is real-world. Without platforms, you will lack networks. It seems estranging, but it's accurate! The metrics for macro-super-nano-super-60/60/24/7/365 dynamic, one-to-one, fractal bandwidth management are more well-understood if they are not robust. We have proven we know that it is better to implement ultra-compellingly than to integrate intuitively. Microsoft is the industry leader of C2C2C raw bandwidth. Our functionality is second to none, but our wireless iteration and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and FOAF. A company that can benchmark easily will (someday) be able to scale courageously. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. Without adequate channels, subscriber communities are forced to become turn-key. We understand that if you seize efficiently then you may also drive wirelessly. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our metrics but our power to incentivize. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and VOIP. We think we know that if you scale holistically then you may also visualize ultra-extensibly.