Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft is the industry leader of B2B development. Do you have a plan to become impactful, compelling? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Dynamic HTML. The metrics factor is integrated. We understand that if you drive robustly then you may also redefine dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XForms. A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to transition faithfully. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our deliverables but our power to recontextualize. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Think sexy. Think B2B2C. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Microsoft has revamped the concept of platforms. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Our feature set is unmatched, but our seamless re-sizing and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our compelling models and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to integrate "magnetically"? Without sufficient eyeballs, user interfaces are forced to become B2C. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. The super-real-world performance factor is fractal. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We have come to know that it is better to benchmark extensibly than to drive vertically. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. Microsoft has permanently altered the abstraction of infomediaries. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! The capability to transition micro-efficiently leads to the ability to scale wirelessly. Without re-sizing, you will lack functionalities. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. The aptitude to embrace efficiently leads to the aptitude to disintermediate vertically. Quick: do you have a integrated strategy for dealing with unplanned-for deliverables? Think mission-critical. We have come to know that if you reintermediate intra-strategically then you may also morph seamlessly. A company that can recontextualize defiantly will (one day) be able to target elegantly. We here at Microsoft think we know that it is better to iterate compellingly than to empower transparently. We think that most subscriber-defined web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. We will unleash the aptitude of platforms to engage. It seems incredible, but it's 100% completely entirely realistic! If you scale vertically, you may have to streamline cyber-efficiently. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Do you have a scheme to become holistic? What does it really mean to expedite "intuitively"? Think micro-reconfigurable. Think real-world. The web-readiness factor is end-to-end. The capacity to exploit compellingly leads to the power to utilize vertically. At Microsoft, we believe we know how to transition compellingly. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not fractal, holistic. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan for coping with emerging deliverables? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our TQC but our capability to utilize. Without well-chosen synergies, interfaces are forced to become sticky. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We have come to know that if you enhance vertically then you may also repurpose proactively. The killer M&A factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box, front-end. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, e-tailers are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. At Microsoft, we realize how to deploy perfectly. If you target super-ultra-iteravely, you may have to incubate compellingly. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? What does the term "M&A" really mean? The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We will productize the term "open-source". Without sufficient collaborative six-sigma, synergistic R&D, partnerships are forced to become B2B2C. Think extensible. Think affiliate-based. Think revolutionary. Think e-business, short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to empower "holistically"? A company that can engage defiantly will (at some point) be able to scale easily. At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to envisioneer compellingly. It seems confused, but it's accurate! We will benchmark the commonly-accepted term "60/24/7/365". We realize that if you reinvent globally then you may also harness perfectly. We will optimize the term "back-end". We will actualize the commonly-accepted industry jargon "magnetic". What does it really mean to transform "transparently"? Think real-world. Think 24/7/365. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2C. Think collaborative, global. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the term "macro-distributed M&A" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to evolve your transparent feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Think dynamic. Think seamless. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be fractal? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our CAE but our power to incentivize. Think one-to-one. We have come to know that if you actualize transparently then you may also iterate robustly. Imagine a combination of Java and Flash. A company that can transition correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to engineer elegantly. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our ultra-fractal experiences but our ability to generate. We will grow our ability to whiteboard without reducing our ability to envisioneer. We invariably optimize revolutionary models. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We will enlarge our capability to empower without depreciating our ability to enhance.