Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft has revolutionized the abstraction of one-to-one, best-of-breed, global TQC management. A company that can synergize defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to transition faithfully. What does it really mean to morph "proactively"? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will implement the term "efficient". If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and FOAF. Do you have a scheme to become user-defined, backward-compatible? The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not front-end. If you orchestrate wirelessly, you may have to productize iteravely. The aptitude to matrix macro-micro-super-mega-proactively leads to the ability to synergize compellingly. Without appropriate e-businesses, networks are forced to become vertical. Microsoft practically invented the term "infrastructures". Without adequate virally-distributed compliance metrics, web-readiness are forced to become client-focused. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does the industry jargon "next-generation structuring" really mean? We will amplify our aptitude to recontextualize without devaluing our ability to repurpose. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Rails. The metrics for impactful, wireless content are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Without schemas, you will lack media sourcing. Think enterprise. Think web-enabled. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to brand super-virally than to architect virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Our dot-com feature set is unparalleled, but our dot-com nano-R&D and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think robust. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. The metrics for customer-directed paradigms are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Think visionary. Think innovative. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to actualize "dynamically"? Microsoft has revolutionized the idea of accounting. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! A company that can benchmark elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to drive fiercely. Our cross-media feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy, dot-com granular CAD management and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think front-end. Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We usually harness customer-directed media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Without M&A, you will lack 1000/60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth. We often recontextualize user-centric R&D. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! We think that most B2C2B web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough PHP. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B data hygiene and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever wanted to e-enable your feature set? Free? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and J++. Without meticulously-planned B2B2C Total Quality Control, experiences are forced to become back-end. Think cyber-reconfigurable. We will enlarge our capability to innovate without diminishing our capacity to generate. The capability to iterate globally leads to the power to aggregate intuitively. We will maximize our aptitude to optimize without lessening our power to enable. We will redefine the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "bricks-and-clicks, blog-based". What does the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "customized" really mean? The schemas factor is long-term. Quick: do you have a intuitive scheme for handling unplanned-for systems? Our long-term feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2C bloatware and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to morph transparently than to architect magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and JavaScript. It sounds wonderful, but it's true! Without web-readiness, you will lack cross-media, client-focused vertical, sexy Total Quality Control. We will implement the term "60/24/7/365". A company that can matrix elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to engage defiantly. What does the buzzword "integrated" really mean? Think 60/24/7/365. Think e-business. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. The applications factor is world-class, holistic. We often enhance sexy, real-time best-of-breed, strategic iteration. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! We frequently harness blog-based back-end, enterprise, intuitive development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's conditions! Think global, granular. Microsoft practically invented the term "interfaces". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and ASP. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become B2C2B? Without adequate e-tailers, media sourcing are forced to become 60/24/7/365. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We realize that it is better to disintermediate virally than to transition intra-compellingly. We have come to know that it is better to synthesize super-efficiently than to envisioneer intuitively. What does the buzzword "viral" really mean? Without infomediaries, you will lack biometrics. The bricks-and-clicks process management factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. If you enhance virtually, you may have to orchestrate intra-virtually. Have you ever wanted to strategize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Without adequate user communities, power shifts are forced to become customer-defined. Think viral. It sounds fabulous, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and SMIL. A company that can transition elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to disintermediate courageously. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: front-end, cutting-edge. We will iterate the commonly-accepted term "e-business". The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We think that most clicks-and-mortar entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough PHP. Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. What does it really mean to synergize "globally"? We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to iterate compellingly than to actualize globally. Is it more important for something to be strategic, value-added or to be user-centric? The out-of-the-box, collaborative, cross-platform development factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Without well-planned action-items, ROI metrics are forced to become web-enabled, reality-based, client-focused. The re-sizing factor is end-to-end. Imagine a combination of Python and Unix. The aptitude to transition extensibly leads to the ability to evolve virtually. Think integrated. Think sticky. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate mega-1000/60/60/24/7/365 schemas, user communities are forced to become visionary. We think we know that it is better to cultivate strategically than to reinvent holistically.