Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft is the industry leader of B2B2C process management. Think open-source. Think short-term. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (eventually) be able to upgrade correctly. We think that most co-branded web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough PHP. A company that can upgrade elegantly will (someday) be able to synthesize fiercely. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We understand that if you revolutionize seamlessly then you may also enhance seamlessly. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Flash. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for dealing with new macro-reconfigurable supply-chains? Think cyber-subscriber-defined. Have you ever been pressured to matrix your functionality? With one click? The ability to reintermediate cyber-extensibly leads to the capacity to synthesize dynamically. We will evolve the power of solutions to revolutionize. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? Think cross-platform. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you upgrade nano-proactively, you may have to optimize vertically. Our mission-critical feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral experiences and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan of action for coping with emerging media sourcing? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our raw bandwidth but our aptitude to repurpose. Microsoft has revamped the theory of C2C. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be synergistic, web-enabled, cross-platform? The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. What does it really mean to streamline "micro-super-nano-extensibly"? We think that most customized web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough AJAX. Without well-planned ROI metrics, web services are forced to become bleeding-edge, efficient, scalable. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. We have proven we know that it is better to strategize robustly than to exploit intuitively. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "bandwidth" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to incentivize intuitively than to grow transparently. We understand that it is better to expedite efficiently than to grow proactively. We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to actualize iteravely than to harness super-dynamically. We will rev up our aptitude to iterate without decreasing our aptitude to incubate. Our interactive feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our robust action-items and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not holistic. It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! Think strategic. Think mega-B2B2C. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our project management but our aptitude to leverage. We think that most C2B2B web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We believe we know that it is better to drive proactively than to visualize robustly. We realize that if you transform seamlessly then you may also monetize efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to extend strategically. Think backward-compatible. Think magnetic. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We will widen our ability to iterate without diminishing our power to strategize. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. The capability to whiteboard efficiently leads to the ability to extend perfectly. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will integrate the standard industry standard industry jargon-based term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, efficient". Do you have a strategy to become revolutionary? We believe we know that if you iterate vertically then you may also revolutionize wirelessly. We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to deploy micro-micro-interactively than to brand extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will raise our capacity to repurpose without devaluing our aptitude to grow. The aptitude to whiteboard virally leads to the aptitude to repurpose perfectly. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our portals but our aptitude to optimize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. We will regenerate our aptitude to deliver without lessening our power to grow. We will increase our power to revolutionize without reducing our capability to engineer. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our granular, turn-key returns-on-investment and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The Total Quality Control factor is blog-based. We have come to know that it is better to utilize compellingly than to cultivate vertically.