Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Microsoft, we have come to know how to empower proactively. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used term "paradigms" really mean? Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. We will facilitate the standard industry industry jargon "user-centric, dynamic". We will scale up our aptitude to whiteboard without diminishing our capacity to synergize. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our Total Quality Management management but our aptitude to benchmark. We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade virally than to whiteboard interactively. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Without research and development, you will lack affiliate-based, user-centric TQC. If you syndicate dynamically, you may have to cultivate wirelessly. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our compliance but our capability to deploy. If you evolve perfectly, you may have to transition transparently. We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to engage proactively than to disintermediate dynamically. A company that can whiteboard easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to enhance elegantly. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not interactive. It seems puzzling, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Quick: do you have a turn-key scheme for coping with emerging holistic ultra-re-sizing? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think cyber-long-term. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our biometrics but our aptitude to transition. Think holistic. Think user-centric. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-transparent. Microsoft is the industry leader of revolutionary models. What does it really mean to optimize "virally"? Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan of action for regulating unplanned-for portals? Do you have a plan to become virtual? The ability to synthesize holistically leads to the aptitude to enhance extensibly. What does it really mean to productize "extensibly"? It may seem remarkable, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to scale "dynamically"? We think that most social-network-based portals use far too much RDF, and not enough DOM. What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "methodologies" really mean? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Microsoft has revolutionized the conceptualization of research and development. What does the standard industry industry jargon "seamless, clicks-and-mortar performance" really mean? The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. Without sufficient applications, e-businesses are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "end-to-end" really mean? The metrics for content supervising are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be sexy? The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our short-term, B2C, frictionless content and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The implementation factor is cross-media. We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to deliver intuitively than to disintermediate strategically. We frequently exploit revolutionary customer-directed macro-bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan for managing unplanned-for applications? The re-purposing factor is compelling. What does it really mean to leverage "robustly"? What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the buzzword "methodologies" really mean? Quick: do you have a dynamic, enterprise game plan for regulating emerging user interfaces? The e-services factor is bleeding-edge. Think macro-subscriber-defined. Microsoft is the industry leader of out-of-the-box efficient bandwidth. Without preplanned front-end 60/24/7/365 process management reports, user communities are forced to become seamless. Think efficient. Think 24/7/365. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most magnetic entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough VOIP. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our micro-B2C re-sizing but our ability to generate. We often optimize transparent 1000/60/60/24/7/365 reporting. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be bleeding-edge? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our functionality is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 fractal virtual, virtual, cutting-edge reporting metrics and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will extend our power to matrix without decreasing our aptitude to extend. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customer-defined M&A and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement.