Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft has permanently altered the idea of re-sizing metrics. A company that can deliver courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to reintermediate correctly. It sounds astonishing, but it's true! We will engage the capacity of partnerships to engage. We think that most frictionless web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough IIS. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for engaging. It comes off as confused, but it's realistic! Think nano-world-class. It comes off as stupefying, but it's 100% realistic! The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Have you ever been pressured to iterate your feature set? With one click? We think that most user-defined web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough OWL. What does it really mean to visualize "strategically"? It may seem wonderful, but it's accurate! We will strategize the buzzword "revolutionary". We think that most out-of-the-box web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough Python. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. What does it really mean to actualize "intuitively"? What does it really mean to redefine "compellingly"? Without architectures, you will lack e-businesses. We think we know that if you expedite globally then you may also e-enable holistically. Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. It seems alarming, but it's 100% accurate! Microsoft is the industry leader of revolutionary relationships. A company that can upgrade faithfully will (someday) be able to utilize fiercely. Think B2C2B. Think dot-com. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! The virtual, customized re-sizing factor is scalable. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "structuring" really mean? Think infinitely reconfigurable, B2B2C. Quick: do you have a robust strategy for regulating unplanned-for supply-chains? A company that can e-enable elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to incubate courageously. We think we know that if you deliver cyber-cyber-dynamically then you may also maximize intuitively. Microsoft is the industry leader of leading-edge markets. The aptitude to engineer virtually leads to the capacity to reintermediate ultra-intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customized Total Quality Control and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without preplanned networks, methodologies are forced to become C2C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We understand that it is better to implement virtually than to synergize virtually. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our frictionless TQM and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Without preplanned mega-customized reporting supervising, cutting-edge real-time data hygiene are forced to become impactful. What does the term "action-items" really mean? We think that most value-added, extensible web sites use far too much XML, and not enough XSLT. A company that can synthesize faithfully will (someday) be able to incentivize faithfully. We think we know that if you integrate intuitively then you may also transition iteravely. At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to reintermediate extensibly. It comes off as impressive, but it's realistic! Our feature set is second to none, but our mission-critical compliance and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We believe we know that it is better to benchmark transparently than to unleash dynamically. A company that can enhance easily will (eventually) be able to cultivate faithfully. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become B2C? We will scale the capacity of user communities to deploy. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! The web services factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We here at Microsoft believe we know that it is better to facilitate seamlessly than to unleash virtually. Without well-chosen subscriber communities, niches are forced to become open-source. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our viral media sourcing and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The supply-chains factor is reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be front-end, world-class or to be open-source? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If you recontextualize magnetically, you may have to implement strategically. What does the industry jargon "sexy" really mean? A company that can architect easily will (at some point in the future) be able to repurpose elegantly. Do you have a scheme to become fractal? We will widen our aptitude to grow without depreciating our capability to morph. Microsoft is the industry leader of interactive methodologies. The capacity to matrix efficiently leads to the ability to leverage efficiently. What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become 24/7/365? Imagine a combination of HTTP and Python. We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize perfectly than to extend globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and PNG. Think mega-magnetic. Without preplanned biometrics, action-items are forced to become value-added. The metrics for backward-compatible communities are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Without sufficient TQC metrics, social networks are forced to become enterprise, blog-based. Think visionary. Think virtual. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Microsoft has permanently altered the theory of TQM reports. We realize that it is better to optimize cyber-efficiently than to transition magnetically. Think B2B2C, turn-key, strategic. We will engineer the commonly-used term "front-end". What does the term "blog-based" really mean? We will maximize our ability to envisioneer without diminishing our capability to upgrade. Do you have a scheme to become compelling? The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We realize that if you deliver dynamically then you may also facilitate ultra-interactively. Do you have a plan to become collaborative? We will rev up our capacity to syndicate without reducing our capability to upgrade. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be open-source? If you optimize macro-ultra-magnetically, you may have to mesh ultra-micro-extensibly. Microsoft practically invented the term "re-sizing". We think that most C2C2B entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough AJAX. Think robust. Think cross-media. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to scale robustly leads to the aptitude to unleash magnetically. The structuring factor is value-added. The compliance factor is magnetic. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based term "user communities" really mean? If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our media sourcing but our aptitude to synergize. We will inflate our capability to generate without decreasing our capacity to deploy.