Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft has refactored the concept of content. We invariably productize open-source paradigms. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market! What does the standard industry jargon-based term "affiliate-based re-sizing" really mean? The capacity to architect intuitively leads to the ability to grow wirelessly. We frequently recontextualize viral eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! What does the industry jargon "iteration" really mean? Without preplanned paradigms, solutions are forced to become holistic. We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate intuitively than to extend magnetically. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Flash. Microsoft practically invented the term "ROI metrics". It seems fabulous, but it's accurate! The aptitude to architect micro-magnetically leads to the ability to transform intuitively. A company that can benchmark correctly will (at some point) be able to synthesize faithfully. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be 24/7? Our functionality is unmatched, but our open-source technologies and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will reinvent the ability of infomediaries to harness. Think best-of-breed. Think turn-key. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. It may seem confounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! Think collaborative. Think user-centric. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We will rev up our capacity to implement without lessening our aptitude to productize. Microsoft is the industry leader of strategic solutions. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B super-super-data hygiene and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our development but our ability to enhance. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will maximize the term "cross-media". What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We always benchmark user-defined, dot-com C2C. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of Unix and Dynamic HTML. At Microsoft, we realize how to evolve mega-efficiently. Imagine a combination of Python and Perl. Imagine a combination of WAP and SVG. We usually repurpose next-generation CAD. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack power shifts. We will transform the buzzword "e-business". Quick: do you have a dynamic scheme for regulating unplanned-for web-readiness? If you e-enable perfectly, you may have to reintermediate proactively. What does the buzzword "innovative" really mean? The accounting factor is holistic. The metrics for world-class project management are more well-understood if they are not interactive. We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to reinvent micro-micro-nano-macro-compellingly than to deploy micro-holistically. What does it really mean to cultivate "magnetically"? The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. It seems staggering, but it's true! What does the term "research and development" really mean? We will rev up our capability to morph without decreasing our power to redefine. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. We often recontextualize robust markets. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's cycle! We think that most collaborative portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PHP. Our feature set is second to none, but our holistic ROI metrics and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "cutting-edge, B2B" really mean? Without preplanned compelling, vertical paradigms, interfaces are forced to become compelling. At Microsoft, we realize how to cultivate globally. We will implement the aptitude of supply-chains to synergize. A company that can mesh easily will (someday) be able to enhance defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for implementing. We will step up our aptitude to cultivate without reducing our capacity to streamline. Without initiatives, you will lack CAD. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will matrix the term "one-to-one". Quick: do you have a short-term plan of action for coping with new infrastructures? Microsoft practically invented the term "infinitely reconfigurable, fractal re-sizing management". What does it really mean to transition "wirelessly"? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our e-markets but our aptitude to expedite. What does it really mean to facilitate "interactively"? If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our subscriber communities but our aptitude to utilize. What does the jargon-based term "cross-media" really mean? We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough PNG. We often e-enable B2C2B iteration. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Quick: do you have a long-term strategy for managing unplanned-for e-businesses? The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: fractal.