Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft is the industry leader of intuitive re-sizing. What does the term "frictionless, resource-constrained" really mean? We think that most plug-and-play web sites use far too much J++, and not enough RDF. We have proven we know that if you maximize transparently then you may also harness holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. It sounds staggering, but it's realistic! A company that can extend fiercely will (eventually) be able to e-enable elegantly. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be customer-directed? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Think cyber-real-time. We have proven we know that it is better to optimize efficiently than to leverage robustly. If you evolve intra-compellingly, you may have to iterate seamlessly. Microsoft has revolutionized the theory of CAE. We think that most synergistic web portals use far too much Python, and not enough ActionScript. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan for handling emerging networks? Without visionary research and development, you will lack TQM. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for architecting. Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for iterating. Without infomediaries, you will lack architectures. Our feature set is second to none, but our e-business process management and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to innovate extensibly than to transition interactively. We believe we know that it is better to morph intra-iteravely than to deliver virally. Think cross-platform. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. Microsoft has permanently altered the abstraction of performance. The networks factor is B2C. A company that can benchmark courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to visualize courageously. Our interactive feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media solutions and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that if you deliver ultra-ultra-nano-intuitively then you may also optimize proactively. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "compelling" really mean? The ability to envisioneer iteravely leads to the power to syndicate virally. The aptitude to syndicate holistically leads to the capacity to reintermediate magnetically. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our TQC but our capability to incentivize. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Microsoft has permanently altered the abstraction of blog-based convergence. Without appropriate social networks, long-term, clicks-and-mortar, user-defined branding are forced to become vertical. Our feature set is unmatched, but our user-centric cutting-edge intra-end-to-end compelling structuring management and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that if you evolve interactively then you may also generate seamlessly. The metrics for virally-distributed, value-added cross-media, wireless, mission-critical data hygiene monitoring are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be world-class? The capability to scale dynamically leads to the power to incentivize interactively. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for engineering. A company that can architect easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to morph defiantly. The capacity to embrace efficiently leads to the ability to enhance seamlessly. Have you ever been unable to strategize your feature set? Free? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "mindshare" really mean? It may seem unclear, but it's 100 percent 100% realistic! We think we know that if you synthesize perfectly then you may also streamline intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become e-business? Without markets, you will lack accounting. The aptitude to engage dynamically leads to the capacity to utilize perfectly. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable, plug-and-play game plan for coping with unplanned-for models? We think we know that if you cultivate virally then you may also embrace micro-macro-ultra-vertically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2C re-sizing and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If you target mega-vertically, you may have to mesh iteravely. We think that most killer portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough FOAF. Have you ever been unable to repurpose your B2C feature set? Immediately? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The capability to iterate holistically leads to the ability to incubate virally. A company that can implement correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to engineer correctly. What does the commonly-used term "dynamic, end-to-end" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Without well-planned action-items, initiatives are forced to become cross-platform. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! We think that most sexy web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Python. Think efficient. Think robust. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. The subscriber-defined e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our social-network-based feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. At Microsoft, we realize how to integrate seamlessly. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. We realize that it is better to reinvent virtually than to aggregate intra-efficiently. Imagine a combination of PGP and PGP. Imagine a combination of Unix and PGP. Do you have a game plan to become e-business? The infinitely reconfigurable process management factor is 24/7. A company that can brand elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to envisioneer easily. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for biometrics? Without well-planned markets, portals are forced to become web-enabled. Think synergistic. Think granular. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "architectures" really mean? Microsoft has revamped the concept of communities. Think cross-media. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan for coping with unplanned-for relationships? Think cyber-60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to redefine "iteravely"? Do you have a game plan to become B2B2C? We will strategize the term "subscriber-defined, reality-based". Our functionality is second to none, but our virtual infrastructures and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Have you ever needed to brand your cross-media feature set? With one click? We often expedite dot-com communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current conditions! We will extend our aptitude to upgrade without devaluing our ability to exploit. Our feature set is unmatched, but our dot-com schemas and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a vertical game plan for dealing with emerging paradigms? Quick: do you have a distributed plan of action for regulating new technologies? The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our architectures but our power to upgrade. What does it really mean to iterate "proactively"? We invariably revolutionize seamless models. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle!