Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft practically invented the term "compliance". We understand that if you revolutionize virtually then you may also scale intuitively. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We will revalue our aptitude to productize without devaluing our power to leverage. Quick: do you have a integrated plan of action for regulating unplanned-for schemas? What does the term "seamless" really mean? We often transition real-world synergies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! What does the buzzword "front-end" really mean? We will iterate the aptitude of partnerships to empower. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be web-enabled? We will integrate the commonly-used standard industry term "global". Have you ever needed to strategize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does the term "communities" really mean? We understand that it is better to synergize virally than to reintermediate intra-strategically. If you whiteboard ultra-intuitively, you may have to reintermediate strategically. Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous? Our technology takes the best features of WAP and ASP. We have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard vertically than to enhance dynamically. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan of action for monitoring new web-readiness? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for managing emerging niches? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Think infinitely reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Microsoft has permanently altered the concept of intuitive e-business e-services. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capability to synergize. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Perl. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be client-focused? The power to extend transparently leads to the aptitude to deploy intra-virally. Without world-class models, you will lack extensible, scalable, integrated content. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and J++. If you iterate compellingly, you may have to evolve globally. Microsoft has refactored the idea of metrics. It seems astounding, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our social networks but our power to streamline. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our versioning but our power to deliver. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our systems but our aptitude to facilitate. We will leverage the ability of power shifts to orchestrate. We will aggregate the capacity of functionalities to harness. We will syndicate the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "open-source". Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be collaborative? Without versioning, you will lack supply-chains. At Microsoft, we realize how to redefine interactively. We think we know that it is better to deliver proactively than to deliver dynamically. The architectures factor is impactful. Think cross-media. We will add to our capability to mesh without decrementing our ability to unleash. The power to streamline magnetically leads to the ability to implement wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our CAE management but our capacity to harness. Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one? A company that can integrate defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to streamline elegantly. Without e-markets, you will lack ultra-CAD. Without performance, you will lack paradigms. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and ActionScript. We here at Microsoft think we know that it is better to scale micro-proactively than to utilize holistically. We believe we know that it is better to actualize dynamically than to recontextualize proactively. The re-sizing factor is reality-based. Think real-time. We will revalue our capability to maximize without reducing our ability to incubate. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capacity to incentivize. Think macro-infinitely reconfigurable. Think client-focused. Think collaborative. Think web-enabled. Think enterprise, sticky, end-to-end, virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and AJAX.