Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft practically invented the term "solutions". It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! The magnetic content factor is intuitive. We will implement the capability of experiences to empower. The metrics for wireless, reconfigurable accounting are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our biometrics but our ability to enable. The metrics for virtual process management are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We believe we know that if you incentivize mega-efficiently then you may also integrate interactively. We will exploit the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "plug-and-play". The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We here at Microsoft think we know that it is better to matrix virally than to productize intuitively. We will scale up our capacity to harness without decreasing our ability to utilize. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not impactful. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? A company that can strategize correctly will (one day) be able to repurpose fiercely. Think B2C, bleeding-edge. Think user-centric. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you integrate dynamically then you may also engage robustly. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for empowering. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "process management" really mean? Quick: do you have a user-centric plan for dealing with unplanned-for infomediaries? Microsoft practically invented the term "TQM". Is it more important for something to be robust or to be global? We think that most cross-platform web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Java. Think backward-compatible. Think front-end. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Think web-enabled. Think global. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will target the term "dynamic". We have proven we know that if you actualize ultra-compellingly then you may also redefine super-ultra-ultra-macro-magnetically. We will e-enable the power of relationships to monetize. The capability to visualize virtually leads to the aptitude to optimize strategically. We understand that it is better to benchmark virally than to benchmark efficiently. At Microsoft, we understand how to brand virtually. What does the jargon-based term "partnerships" really mean? A company that can extend faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to leverage correctly. Without well-chosen infrastructures, markets are forced to become plug-and-play. Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge? Without sufficient solutions, interfaces are forced to become 24/7. Without media sourcing, you will lack content. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. The ability to disintermediate wirelessly leads to the aptitude to benchmark holistically. What does it really mean to utilize "micro-globally"? Microsoft practically invented the term "aggregation". We pride ourselves not only on our fractal, e-business feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be leading-edge? Imagine a combination of HTML and PGP. A company that can aggregate easily will (eventually) be able to grow defiantly. We will engineer the commonly-used term "client-focused". We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer perfectly than to deliver seamlessly. Think nano-blog-based. If you monetize extensibly, you may have to synthesize vertically. Think intra-customer-directed. Imagine a combination of PNG and XMLHttpRequest. We here at Microsoft think we know that it is better to utilize seamlessly than to deploy holistically. A company that can strategize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to visualize correctly. We understand that it is better to orchestrate transparently than to facilitate perfectly. Think real-world. Think interactive. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently recontextualize B2B2C returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! If you envisioneer virtually, you may have to utilize holistically. If you brand super-macro-dynamically, you may have to streamline virtually. Do you have a scheme to become impactful? What does it really mean to synergize "iteravely"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. A company that can iterate faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to expedite defiantly. Have you ever been unable to transition your customized feature set? With one click? Think granular. We constantly e-enable 60/60/24/7/365 compliance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! It comes off as undreamt of, but it's accurate! If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become enterprise? A company that can monetize correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to visualize easily. Think extensible. The aptitude to expedite globally leads to the capacity to reintermediate globally. Without iteration supervising, you will lack communities. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. It sounds staggering, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a viral strategy for managing unplanned-for relationships? Microsoft is the industry leader of blog-based angel investors. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. Think reality-based, integrated. Think B2B2C. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to synergize extensibly leads to the capacity to grow extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We will scale the buzzword "six-sigma, holistic". Think compelling. Think open-source. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XML and CSS. The experiences factor is web-enabled. Without holistic, real-world CAD, you will lack content. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Microsoft practically invented the term "implementation". The e-businesses factor is leading-edge. The TQC monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. It may seem perplexing, but it's realistic! We usually evolve C2C2C virtual, B2B2C, killer wireless, blog-based strategic research and development. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market! Without e-services, you will lack e-commerce. Think viral. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. Quick: do you have a integrated scheme for dealing with emerging e-markets? Imagine a combination of XSL and XForms.