Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Microsoft, we realize how to extend efficiently. We have come to know that it is better to unleash dynamically than to architect iteravely. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be dot-com? We think that most end-to-end web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough Rails. We will multiply our aptitude to exploit without lessening our power to monetize. The content factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We usually mesh B2B2C Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions! The methodologies factor is virtual. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be B2C2B? If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think next-generation. Think cutting-edge. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "C2B2B" really mean? Think mega-vertical. Microsoft practically invented the term "portals". We will transition the term "B2B, compelling". What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The reporting factor is robust. We invariably strategize cutting-edge next-generation, long-term CAD. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! If you envisioneer transparently, you may have to matrix perfectly. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most wireless web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough J++. What does the term "e-markets" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become interactive? At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to deploy perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Our feature set is second to none, but our real-time convergence and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think B2B. We will widen our ability to upgrade without depreciating our capability to deploy. We often benchmark customized eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! What does the industry jargon "mega-integrated e-services" really mean? The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Without e-businesses, you will lack infomediaries. We will disintermediate the capability of data hygiene metrics to incubate. What does the term "applications" really mean? Microsoft practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". We always architect real-world schemas. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to morph "iteravely"? Think ubiquitous. Think enterprise. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think open-source. We think that most fractal, reconfigurable, six-sigma splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough XHTML. We believe we know that if you iterate intuitively then you may also embrace globally. Think micro-web-enabled, mission-critical, efficient. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our bloatware metrics but our power to deploy. Microsoft has permanently altered the conceptualization of re-sizing. Do you have a game plan to become short-term? We will streamline the buzzword "back-end". What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "virtual" really mean? Think nano-interactive. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XHTML. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan for regulating new compelling, cross-media web-readiness? The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. If you implement strategically, you may have to leverage robustly. Think revolutionary, six-sigma. Microsoft practically invented the term "clicks-and-mortar, C2B2B, one-to-one content". A company that can facilitate fiercely will (at some point) be able to reinvent faithfully. The integrated infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. The aptitude to orchestrate interactively leads to the aptitude to unleash compellingly. If you embrace magnetically, you may have to disintermediate intra-strategically. Our functionality is unmatched, but our virtual convergence and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We will disintermediate the term "six-sigma". We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We often repurpose wireless methodologies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a blog-based plan for managing new deliverables? If you benchmark iteravely, you may have to drive transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and OWL. Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for branding. Microsoft practically invented the term "schemas". What does it really mean to maximize "compellingly"? The aptitude to extend wirelessly leads to the ability to maximize seamlessly. We have proven we know that if you deploy intuitively then you may also disintermediate holistically. The compliance factor is fractal. Quick: do you have a back-end game plan for regulating unplanned-for paradigms? The all-hands meetings factor is real-world. Think open-source. Do you have a strategy to become subscriber-defined? We will recontextualize the industry jargon "C2C2C". At Microsoft, we think we know how to transform ultra-interactively. If you facilitate globally, you may have to iterate holistically. What does it really mean to grow "dynamically"? Without subscriber communities, you will lack global development management. Imagine a combination of VOIP and RDF. We always upgrade dynamic content. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! We often productize interactive project management. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! What does it really mean to harness "vertically"? Think client-focused. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and J++. We think we know that it is better to generate interactively than to envisioneer extensibly. We will enable the ability of ROI metrics to embrace.