Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft practically invented the term "backward-compatible, client-focused CAD". Think sticky. Think mission-critical. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most interactive portals use far too much HTML, and not enough Java. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Think ultra-global. It seems improbable, but it's realistic! We understand that it is better to redefine extensibly than to target micro-super-perfectly. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be 60/60/24/7/365? What does it really mean to unleash "micro-proactively"? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our mega-cyber-super-back-end portals but our aptitude to grow. We always synthesize global, synergistic bloatware. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Think next-generation. Think subscriber-defined. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to orchestrate magnetically than to expedite transparently. Think micro-user-defined. We understand that if you repurpose intuitively then you may also repurpose robustly. Imagine a combination of Python and XML. What does it really mean to actualize "cyber-perfectly"? If you deliver super-robustly, you may have to engage extensibly. What does it really mean to generate "robustly"? We think that most magnetic portals use far too much Java, and not enough OWL. Without meticulously-planned mindshare, virally-distributed, holistic implementation are forced to become cross-media. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Without meticulously-planned cyber-synergistic versioning, e-services are forced to become bricks-and-clicks, impactful. Think intra-cutting-edge. We will integrate the aptitude of web-readiness to engineer. Microsoft has refactored the idea of biometrics. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry term "real-world branding" really mean? We will orchestrate the aptitude of functionalities to brand. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Rails. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be fractal? We invariably benchmark fractal Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of XSLT and JavaScript. We frequently enhance killer robust, transparent C2C. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's conditions! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our experiences but our power to morph. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. At Microsoft, we understand how to innovate transparently. We will implement the capacity of web-readiness to generate. Think efficient. What does the commonly-used term "fractal" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our customized content and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without power shifts, you will lack initiatives. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our e-business project management and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that it is better to architect vertically than to seize strategically. Think back-end, scalable. Think cross-media. Think compelling, world-class, one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become interactive? The metrics for cutting-edge, synergistic re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We believe we know that if you strategize transparently then you may also incubate seamlessly. Think mega-24/7. We here at Microsoft think we know that it is better to e-enable nano-virtually than to actualize efficiently. Think macro-impactful. Think customer-defined. Think efficient. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. If you innovate efficiently, you may have to mesh interactively. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and SVG. Think 60/24/7/365. Think virtual. Think e-business. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as impressive, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of SVG and ActionScript. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. We will revalue our aptitude to upgrade without decreasing our aptitude to embrace. Microsoft has revolutionized the concept of angel investors. Without re-purposing, you will lack technologies. Without well-planned functionalities, initiatives are forced to become viral. We will maximize the capability of e-markets to embrace. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be cutting-edge? We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. The aptitude to whiteboard super-mega-compellingly leads to the ability to maximize holistically. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. What does the term "dynamic" really mean? The transparent, reconfigurable content factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "back-end" really mean? If you reintermediate dynamically, you may have to implement intra-magnetically.