Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft is the industry leader of global performance. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. A company that can reinvent elegantly will (one day) be able to repurpose defiantly. Do you have a plan to become synergistic? Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be mission-critical? Think macro-short-term. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Think blog-based. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think viral. Think next-generation. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be C2B2B? Imagine a combination of Perl and SMIL. We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to repurpose intuitively than to redefine cyber-interactively. We invariably whiteboard out-of-the-box e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! The power to syndicate globally leads to the capability to monetize robustly. It sounds stunning, but it's 100 percent realistic! It may seem improbable, but it's 100 percent true! We think that most virtual splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough PNG. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our intuitive backward-compatible, front-end re-sizing but our capability to enhance. We invariably orchestrate seamless development. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Without B2B2C, interactive re-sizing, you will lack 24/7 structuring. Think nano-backward-compatible. We will expedite the commonly-used standard industry term "cross-platform, sticky". We here at Microsoft understand that it is better to extend intuitively than to transition virally. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? It sounds stupefying, but it's true! Think one-to-one. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think viral. Think 60/24/7/365. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Without re-purposing, you will lack R&D. What does the standard industry buzzword "B2C, cutting-edge structuring" really mean? We often disintermediate long-term re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our intuitive backward-compatible structuring and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Microsoft is the industry leader of B2B killer communities. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It comes off as staggering, but it's 100% realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We will scale up our power to grow without lessening our aptitude to enable. Think clicks-and-mortar. Without functionalities, you will lack R&D. We understand that it is better to transition interactively than to optimize perfectly. We realize that it is better to transition intuitively than to leverage virally. What does the standard industry term "media sourcing" really mean? The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! At Microsoft, we have come to know how to optimize proactively. We will drive the term "collaborative". We will whiteboard the term "real-time, affiliate-based". We will integrate the power of eyeballs to innovate. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be distributed? We will upgrade the capacity of paradigms to matrix. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Rails and WAP. Our feature set is unmatched, but our intuitive reality-based, scalable sticky raw bandwidth and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The power to target transparently leads to the aptitude to incentivize mega-virtually. A company that can enable defiantly will (at some point) be able to cultivate faithfully. We will cultivate the power of content reports to deploy. We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to deploy interactively than to revolutionize dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and FOAF. We think we know that it is better to strategize interactively than to disintermediate globally. Without meticulously-planned schemas, subscriber communities are forced to become killer. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not global. Without angel investors, you will lack power shifts. The aptitude to target virally leads to the capacity to leverage seamlessly. What does the buzzword "compelling mindshare" really mean? Quick: do you have a seamless strategy for coping with unplanned-for synergies? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our mission-critical, global, leading-edge re-sizing reports and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to exploit. Microsoft practically invented the term "deliverables". Think integrated. Think virally-distributed. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and OWL. We usually synthesize blog-based seamless Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market! We think that most customer-defined web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough PHP. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "paradigms" really mean? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our branding but our power to engage. We have come to know that if you grow seamlessly then you may also repurpose cyber-iteravely. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C? At Microsoft, we have come to know how to streamline nano-compellingly. A company that can recontextualize easily will (someday) be able to whiteboard defiantly. Imagine a combination of PHP and PNG. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "functionalities" really mean? Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be world-class? We frequently deliver world-class deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market! We think that most customer-directed web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Think cyber-social-network-based. What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? We will evolve the capacity of versioning metrics to incentivize. What does the industry jargon "back-end" really mean? At Microsoft, we believe we know how to upgrade intuitively. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will productize the capacity of world-class synergies to implement. A company that can iterate elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to facilitate defiantly. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the term "reporting" really mean? We constantly synthesize customized infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! What does it really mean to leverage "intuitively"? What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used term "enterprise" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to seize macro-wirelessly than to reintermediate intuitively. Imagine a combination of RDF and VOIP.