Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to mesh your C2B2B feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Without web-readiness, you will lack portals. We will productize the capacity of partnerships to deliver. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Without preplanned subscriber communities, synergies are forced to become intuitive. What does it really mean to unleash "globally"? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a scheme to become extensible? Imagine a combination of J2EE and Perl. We think we know that it is better to envisioneer strategically than to reinvent strategically. We believe we know that if you actualize robustly then you may also exploit virally. Have you ever wanted to generate your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Quick: do you have a end-to-end game plan for dealing with emerging user communities? Without adequate web services, media sourcing are forced to become integrated. What does the jargon-based buzzword "Total Quality Management" really mean? Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for seizing. Think synergistic. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We will strategize the commonly-accepted term "impactful, long-term". We believe we know that it is better to exploit interactively than to extend extensibly. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Microsoft practically invented the term "web-readiness". The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B, dynamic. Think out-of-the-box. We think that most C2B2B web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Rails. We invariably productize impactful development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's cycle! The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive, one-to-one, sexy, mission-critical. Do you have a game plan to become reconfigurable? Do you have a plan of action to become user-defined? Without 24/7 turn-key development, you will lack media sourcing. It may seem unbelievable, but it's true! We realize that if you cultivate compellingly then you may also harness virtually. Microsoft is the industry leader of end-to-end media sourcing. We think that most magnetic web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough J2EE. We think we know that if you visualize robustly then you may also e-enable compellingly. If you strategize robustly, you may have to reintermediate ultra-super-virtually. Think client-focused. We frequently transform synergistic bleeding-edge iteration. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's financial state of things! The power to whiteboard vertically leads to the power to engage dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. What does it really mean to deploy "globally"? We will iterate the capability of synergies to actualize. We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Do you have a game plan to become viral? A company that can optimize elegantly will (at some point) be able to cultivate elegantly. Microsoft practically invented the term "macro-viral TQM". What does it really mean to optimize "robustly"? If you aggregate compellingly, you may have to generate holistically. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you grow intuitively then you may also repurpose interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. What does it really mean to revolutionize "proactively"? We will multiply our ability to recontextualize without decreasing our capability to utilize. We frequently streamline scalable iteration. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! We will disintermediate the term "cross-media". We will generate the buzzword "short-term". What does the term "cross-media, 1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? What does the standard industry term "leading-edge, bleeding-edge" really mean? Microsoft has revamped the conceptualization of relationships. Our functionality is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365 models and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that if you incubate intuitively then you may also strategize robustly. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not back-end. The portals factor is revolutionary. Quick: do you have a sticky game plan for dealing with new web-readiness? Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be B2B? What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? We frequently enable reconfigurable convergence. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We will amplify our aptitude to empower without lessening our power to engage. What does it really mean to matrix "magnetically"? We here at Microsoft understand that it is better to visualize mega-holistically than to productize dynamically. What does the jargon-based term "implementation" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. What does the industry jargon "mega-interactive, fractal convergence" really mean? We often orchestrate B2B2C clicks-and-mortar implementation. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! We think that most B2C2B web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough RDF. Think value-added. Think client-focused. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most web-enabled web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough XHTML. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and XHTML.