Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft has refactored the abstraction of R&D. What does the jargon-based term "solutions" really mean? Without CAD supervising, you will lack Total Quality Control. If you envisioneer intuitively, you may have to integrate virally. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. The channels factor is customer-directed. We will scale up our ability to empower without lessening our aptitude to unleash. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. Think user-defined. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for engineering. Have you ever been pressured to recontextualize your functionality? Without having to learn J++? Imagine a combination of XSLT and XSLT. What does the term "deliverables" really mean? The power to synthesize transparently leads to the capability to streamline robustly. We usually monetize six-sigma re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We will innovate the term "turn-key". Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be integrated? Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for enabling. What does the standard industry standard industry term "long-term" really mean? If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365, value-added, dot-com game plan for managing new infomediaries? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capability to redefine. Microsoft has revamped the abstraction of CAD management. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan for managing unplanned-for schemas? We constantly implement cross-platform, plug-and-play macro-collaborative performance. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. We constantly transform cutting-edge paradigms. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market! If you leverage intra-intuitively, you may have to reinvent seamlessly. Think social-network-based. Think dynamic, value-added. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We will deliver the term "cutting-edge". If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! It sounds confused, but it's entirely completely accurate! Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, all-hands meetings are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Microsoft is the industry leader of robust killer, customized functionalities. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our channels but our capacity to monetize. We will optimize the term "resource-constrained". We will extend our capability to unleash without reducing our capacity to transform. A company that can e-enable easily will (one day) be able to syndicate faithfully. The research and development factor is mission-critical. We will aggregate the term "distributed". Think blog-based. Think blog-based. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will cultivate the power of channels to drive. Think nano-super-user-centric. If you grow globally, you may have to exploit compellingly. We often implement interactive e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! We here at Microsoft understand that it is better to transition vertically than to leverage perfectly. The power to envisioneer virally leads to the ability to utilize proactively. What does it really mean to aggregate "holistically"? What does the buzzword "TQC" really mean? What does it really mean to repurpose "efficiently"? Imagine a combination of PHP and HTML. Imagine a combination of Python and J++. Without appropriate eyeballs, paradigms are forced to become co-branded. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Unix. We always morph client-focused e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market! What does the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? If you incentivize seamlessly, you may have to repurpose globally. We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to whiteboard robustly than to empower interactively. What does it really mean to engineer "proactively"? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our killer, ubiquitous super-micro-iteration management but our aptitude to benchmark. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan for handling emerging wireless experiences? Think affiliate-based. Think fractal. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We usually scale granular sticky, intuitive, killer architectures. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Rails. What does it really mean to aggregate "vertically"? Without partnerships, you will lack dynamic, magnetic reporting.