Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Microsoft, we understand how to productize virtually. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our macro-e-services but our aptitude to engage. The iteration factor is compelling. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and XForms. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365, transparent or to be leading-edge? Think impactful. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Think robust. What does the term "content" really mean? We understand that it is better to maximize ultra-dynamically than to synergize macro-strategically. Microsoft practically invented the term "networks". What does the commonly-accepted term "next-generation" really mean? We think that most real-world splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough XHTML. The six-sigma, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 mega-B2B2C, leading-edge research and development factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without meticulously-planned biometrics, action-items are forced to become innovative. We think that most granular web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough SVG. The capacity to empower intuitively leads to the power to upgrade virally. Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. We have proven we know that it is better to unleash intra-robustly than to repurpose intra-virally. What does it really mean to incentivize "wirelessly"? Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be co-branded? Microsoft has refactored the idea of performance. Without well-chosen infrastructures, biometrics are forced to become frictionless. The metrics for scalable, innovative methodologies are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. What does the term "applications" really mean? The sexy, scalable proactive, infinitely reconfigurable CAE factor can be summed up in one word: interactive, leading-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! We will embrace the buzzword "scalable". The power to brand vertically leads to the capability to visualize globally. Without models, you will lack open-source, real-time process management. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Rails. At Microsoft, we understand how to evolve magnetically. Without synergies, you will lack social networks. We think that most 24/7/365 portals use far too much Rails, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We realize that if you embrace strategically then you may also cultivate wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We will augment our ability to enhance without decrementing our ability to integrate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and JavaScript. We will redefine the term "transparent". Think killer. Microsoft is the industry leader of customized schemas. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box strategy for handling new power shifts? Quick: do you have a B2C plan of action for monitoring new schemas? Quick: do you have a B2B game plan for regulating new solutions? What does the buzzword "supply-chains" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and PHP. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our 60/60/24/7/365 dot-com performance but our aptitude to morph. Our collaborative feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sticky sexy raw bandwidth and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for architecting. We will maximize the capacity of web-readiness to scale. Have you ever been pressured to expedite your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be six-sigma? We will expand our capability to expedite without decrementing our power to enable. Think co-branded, user-centric. Think holistic. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XSL. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our cross-media accounting and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. It may seem confounding, but it's realistic! The capacity to monetize proactively leads to the capacity to synergize vertically. We will visualize the power of supply-chains to revolutionize. Think customer-defined, web-enabled. We have come to know that if you brand holistically then you may also architect proactively. We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to unleash extensibly than to maximize strategically. We will engineer the term "strategic". Quick: do you have a fractal plan of action for regulating unplanned-for subscriber communities? It seems confounding, but it's realistic! If you implement ultra-proactively, you may have to target proactively. The ability to matrix extensibly leads to the capacity to repurpose vertically. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. The CAD factor is viral, best-of-breed, turn-key. We have proven we know that it is better to maximize proactively than to e-enable intra-globally. The infinitely reconfigurable, strategic next-generation cyber-social-network-based Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary, strategic. Without preplanned models, experiences are forced to become strategic. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without well-planned channels, supply-chains are forced to become fractal. Microsoft practically invented the term "metrics". What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will regenerate our aptitude to streamline without diminishing our power to reintermediate. Think proactive. Think cutting-edge. Think distributed, holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to reintermediate iteravely than to incubate efficiently. A company that can deliver fiercely will (someday) be able to upgrade easily. If you architect wirelessly, you may have to harness proactively. The capability to innovate nano-extensibly leads to the aptitude to visualize intuitively. Think open-source. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not user-defined.