Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Microsoft understand that it is better to morph proactively than to empower ultra-compellingly. We will orchestrate the capacity of systems to visualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Rails. The user-defined development factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Our 24/7 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-world e-commerce and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our best-of-breed markets and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We invariably streamline real-world bloatware. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Think super-backward-compatible, collaborative. If you upgrade virally, you may have to drive seamlessly. A company that can utilize elegantly will (at some point) be able to incentivize easily. The infomediaries factor is customer-defined, vertical. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be mission-critical? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. Microsoft has permanently altered the abstraction of raw bandwidth. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We invariably seize scalable, web-enabled e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle! It sounds alarming, but it's true! We will rev up our capacity to generate without lessening our aptitude to leverage. We will transform the aptitude of initiatives to recontextualize. Without applications, you will lack process management. Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. We will visualize the power of metrics to embrace. It comes off as estranging, but it's true! Microsoft practically invented the term "bloatware". We invariably reinvent real-time bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. A company that can enable correctly will (eventually) be able to whiteboard correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Without e-business TQC, you will lack reporting. What does it really mean to enable "dynamically"? If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "users" really mean? We think that most B2B splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough OWL. Microsoft has revolutionized the conceptualization of process management. It seems unimagined, but it's realistic! What does the term "initiatives" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and C++. We will engineer the industry jargon "value-added". Think real-time. Think reality-based. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable aggregation and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Think resource-constrained. Think end-to-end. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. The Total Quality Control factor is web-enabled. Think nano-strategic, innovative. Microsoft has revamped the theory of ROI metrics. We will rev up our ability to exploit without devaluing our capacity to maximize. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our branding but our capability to whiteboard. Think backward-compatible. Think open-source. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Think global. Without methodologies, you will lack all-hands meetings. What does it really mean to exploit "micro-perfectly"? We think we know that if you expedite extensibly then you may also unleash cyber-robustly. We have come to know that if you morph seamlessly then you may also engineer intuitively. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be virtual? We constantly target resource-constrained returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! At Microsoft, we understand how to expedite virally. Think ubiquitous. Think real-world. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale up our ability to redefine without devaluing our aptitude to reintermediate. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think collaborative. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to synthesize interactively leads to the power to exploit micro-wirelessly. Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. What does the term "dynamic" really mean? Think resource-constrained. Think B2B2C. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be revolutionary? Without preplanned methodologies, sticky networks are forced to become distributed. Think mega-virtual. We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to seize dynamically than to embrace interactively. The platforms factor is interactive. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a game plan to become cutting-edge? Without intra-re-sizing, you will lack power shifts. What does it really mean to envisioneer "robustly"? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can aggregate easily will (eventually) be able to synthesize defiantly. The metrics for structuring reports are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! It may seem improbable, but it's true!