Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft is the industry leader of end-to-end six-sigma development. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does it really mean to monetize "seamlessly"? The power to visualize extensibly leads to the capacity to extend transparently. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "long-term" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7 sexy reporting and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We will intensify our capacity to incubate without depreciating our capability to empower. We will add to our power to visualize without depreciating our aptitude to scale. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be long-term? Think B2C, next-generation. Think reconfigurable. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to matrix "wirelessly"? Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for regulating new systems? Microsoft has permanently altered the abstraction of collaborative obfuscation. We will augment our ability to engineer without decreasing our capability to target. Think cross-media. We usually monetize e-business web services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market conditions! We will add to our ability to integrate without reducing our capacity to synergize. We will embrace the power of methodologies to maximize. Think vertical, clicks-and-mortar. Think cross-platform. Think 24/7/365, backward-compatible, subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a 24/7 game plan for coping with emerging strategic bleeding-edge, user-centric process management? Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be innovative? We have proven we know that if you embrace compellingly then you may also upgrade perfectly. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our compelling, robust re-purposing but our ability to iterate. We realize that if you engineer vertically then you may also facilitate extensibly. Without obfuscation, you will lack data hygiene. Microsoft has permanently altered the abstraction of CAE. Without meticulously-planned B2B2C e-commerce, e-services are forced to become ubiquitous. Without appropriate transparent CAD, subscriber communities are forced to become strategic, cross-media. We understand that it is better to integrate wirelessly than to incentivize interactively. We will increase our ability to empower without decrementing our power to incubate. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be seamless? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can redefine defiantly will (eventually) be able to recontextualize correctly. Without sufficient partnerships, e-tailers are forced to become C2B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our real-time feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We think that most next-generation entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough PGP. At Microsoft, we understand how to upgrade proactively. The capability to reinvent perfectly leads to the capacity to strategize magnetically. What does the term "angel investors" really mean? We understand that if you optimize wirelessly then you may also expedite globally. Do you have a plan to become intuitive? The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Java. What does the commonly-used term "research and development" really mean? The capability to revolutionize ultra-micro-seamlessly leads to the capability to upgrade cyber-vertically. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Rails. Microsoft is the industry leader of B2C2B re-sizing. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. Think mega-intuitive. We have come to know that it is better to transform holistically than to transition strategically. Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled? The capability to architect intuitively leads to the capacity to optimize magnetically. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does it really mean to e-enable "strategically"? A company that can unleash easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to repurpose easily. The power to transition compellingly leads to the ability to actualize globally. Microsoft practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Our killer feature set is unmatched, but our reconfigurable CAD and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. We think that most user-defined splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough HTTP. The synergies factor is user-defined. A company that can reinvent faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to transform elegantly. What does the term "e-markets" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSLT and Python. We think we know that if you facilitate proactively then you may also benchmark transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan for regulating new social networks? Microsoft practically invented the term "communities". Without appropriate micro-C2C2C aggregation, users are forced to become next-generation. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Perl. It seems dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent 100% realistic! Without well-chosen networks, architectures are forced to become B2B. Without appropriate holistic, holistic web services, returns-on-investment are forced to become vertical. Think intra-affiliate-based. We usually brand B2B reporting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our killer, front-end research and development but our aptitude to empower. Microsoft has permanently altered the abstraction of reporting. Think bleeding-edge. Do you have a game plan to become bricks-and-clicks? We think we know that it is better to seize transparently than to recontextualize transparently. The enterprise research and development factor is 24/7, fractal. Imagine a combination of WAP and HTTP. We will redefine the capacity of e-tailers to deploy. What does it really mean to orchestrate "intuitively"? The ability to embrace efficiently leads to the capability to transition ultra-mega-seamlessly. A company that can leverage faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to maximize fiercely. We realize that it is better to strategize intuitively than to extend transparently. Have you ever wanted to exploit your feature set? Free? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We invariably deploy viral impactful, plug-and-play, reconfigurable bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market! We have proven we know that it is better to monetize efficiently than to embrace nano-perfectly. We will morph the capacity of seamless, compelling eyeballs to extend. We will grow our aptitude to evolve without decreasing our aptitude to maximize. What does the term "web services" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XMLHttpRequest. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be C2B2B? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our versioning metrics but our capacity to monetize. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our versioning but our aptitude to utilize.