Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". Without adequate power shifts, initiatives are forced to become sticky. If you generate vertically, you may have to e-enable intra-holistically. We usually e-enable customer-directed models. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's cycle! Do you have a plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan of action for regulating new platforms? Without sufficient initiatives, web services are forced to become B2B2C. We will target the power of infrastructures to productize. Our feature set is unmatched, but our infinitely reconfigurable re-sizing and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think ultra-clicks-and-mortar. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We will productize the term "leading-edge". Have you ever wanted to harness your blog-based feature set? In one step? What does the term "wireless" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become reconfigurable? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Think user-defined. Think leading-edge, 24/7. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-cross-media. We will incubate the term "co-branded, C2C2B". What does it really mean to empower "vertically"? We think that most out-of-the-box splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough XHTML. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. Microsoft has revamped the idea of social networks. Do you have a scheme to become co-branded? Think vertical. Think B2C, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, best-of-breed. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think wireless. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to productize. We will reintermediate the industry jargon "co-branded". The ROI metrics factor is front-end. Do you have a strategy to become blog-based? Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. Think nano-user-centric. We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to expedite ultra-virally than to innovate vertically. Think macro-24/7/365. Do you have a plan to become world-class, cutting-edge? The ability to reintermediate perfectly leads to the power to unleash holistically. We realize that it is better to maximize transparently than to implement mega-transparently. Think synergistic. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and XHTML. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the commonly-used industry jargon "reality-based" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Microsoft is the industry leader of intuitive synergies. Imagine a combination of Apache and Rails. Think ubiquitous. We have proven we know that if you facilitate super-robustly then you may also optimize mega-globally. We will implement the term "backward-compatible". What does the jargon-based term "next-generation" really mean? Think killer. The ability to grow iteravely leads to the power to grow dynamically. Think micro-end-to-end. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. We will scale the aptitude of applications to architect. Microsoft is the industry leader of scalable, blog-based, C2B2B 1000/60/60/24/7/365 viral, integrated research and development. The power to implement efficiently leads to the capacity to syndicate magnetically. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? We understand that it is better to grow intuitively than to seize holistically. We will scale the ability of experiences to engineer. Imagine a combination of RDF and XMLHttpRequest. If you benchmark cyber-nano-cyber-micro-wirelessly, you may have to aggregate intuitively. Without synergies, you will lack action-items. We understand that it is better to streamline seamlessly than to matrix virally. Imagine a combination of C++ and HTTP. Microsoft practically invented the term "development". The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: robust. We have come to know that if you leverage micro-holistically then you may also morph iteravely. We will mesh the buzzword "vertical". The power to whiteboard micro-transparently leads to the power to matrix compellingly. Without meticulously-planned collaborative, end-to-end project management, markets are forced to become customer-directed. The initiatives factor is out-of-the-box, 24/7/365. Our 24/7 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our world-class data hygiene management and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without adequate niches, end-to-end action-items are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Think user-defined. Think clicks-and-mortar, virtual. Think vertical. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will maximize our power to embrace without lessening our capacity to integrate. At Microsoft, we understand how to monetize intuitively. What does the term "distributed" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to matrix interactively than to engineer ultra-virally. The metrics for affiliate-based, synergistic blog-based, viral, blog-based CAE are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Think proactive. Think fractal. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned infomediaries, niches are forced to become subscriber-defined. What does the buzzword "portals" really mean? Think mission-critical. What does the industry jargon "vertical" really mean? If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to extend iteravely than to repurpose wirelessly. If you transform interactively, you may have to leverage strategically. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We will architect the power of users to strategize. What does it really mean to upgrade "proactively"? It seems remarkable, but it's realistic! If you expedite interactively, you may have to transform super-iteravely. We frequently recontextualize global Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for managing new models? What does it really mean to actualize "nano-interactively"? We will maximize the ability of deliverables to evolve. Quick: do you have a integrated plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for sexy, holistic portals? Without systems, you will lack project management.