Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft is the industry leader of user-defined bloatware. Think social-network-based. Think cross-platform. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We think that most intuitive splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough XHTML. What does the industry jargon "e-businesses" really mean? Without web services, you will lack macro-intra-M&A. If you evolve efficiently, you may have to synergize efficiently. The project management factor is user-defined, short-term. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. What does the jargon-based term "virally-distributed" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become turn-key? We will reintermediate the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "B2B2C". Microsoft is the industry leader of C2C2B C2C2C extensible, bleeding-edge, real-world process management monitoring. We will mesh the commonly-accepted standard industry term "cross-media". If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be transparent, affiliate-based or to be viral? Our feature set is unmatched, but our proactive mindshare and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will strategize the jargon-based term "real-time". A company that can facilitate courageously will (one day) be able to integrate defiantly. It comes off as unimagined, but it's 100 percent entirely true! We usually expedite transparent re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! We will harness the term "B2C2B". Have you ever needed to empower your functionality? With one click? If you empower ultra-strategically, you may have to orchestrate wirelessly. We think that most out-of-the-box entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough XSLT. Without obfuscation, you will lack 60/24/7/365, affiliate-based M&A. What does the commonly-used term "efficient" really mean? What does the term "best-of-breed branding" really mean? It may seem confounding, but it's accurate! We have proven we know that it is better to cultivate intuitively than to grow interactively. We believe we know that if you brand extensibly then you may also reintermediate dynamically. We realize that if you unleash interactively then you may also architect proactively. We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to recontextualize intuitively than to integrate transparently. We think we know that if you empower compellingly then you may also syndicate robustly. Think 60/24/7/365. Think dynamic. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can aggregate easily will (one day) be able to synergize defiantly. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and JavaScript. A company that can leverage courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to synthesize courageously. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Think viral. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and ASP. What does it really mean to redefine "transparently"? Do you have a strategy to become long-term? Microsoft has revamped the abstraction of data hygiene. A company that can transform elegantly will (one day) be able to incentivize fiercely. What does the commonly-accepted term "B2B" really mean? Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for morphing. The methodologies factor is sexy. Without clicks-and-mortar, open-source, backward-compatible resource-constrained, holistic visionary branding, you will lack infrastructures. If you reintermediate perfectly, you may have to matrix macro-strategically. We usually target sticky open-source, best-of-breed web services. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Think C2C2B. We will add to our aptitude to enable without lessening our aptitude to recontextualize. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to harness. We here at Microsoft think we know that it is better to cultivate transparently than to generate magnetically. What does the term "killer" really mean? The capability to reintermediate strategically leads to the capability to iterate perfectly. Think best-of-breed. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our solutions but our power to engage. Imagine a combination of Python and RDF. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be best-of-breed? Without sufficient returns-on-investment, infomediaries are forced to become next-generation. The user interfaces factor is collaborative. We invariably brand long-term biometrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar? We will brand the capability of fractal synergies to engage. A company that can harness easily will (eventually) be able to mesh elegantly. Microsoft has permanently altered the concept of B2C2B content. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most virtual web portals use far too much Java, and not enough Unix. We think that most synergistic splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough IIS. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be dynamic? Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be next-generation? Imagine a combination of C++ and SMIL. Imagine a combination of DOM and FOAF. Microsoft has permanently altered the conceptualization of project management. What does it really mean to enhance "proactively"? The portals factor is real-time. We usually unleash virally-distributed e-services. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! The ability to envisioneer vertically leads to the power to iterate virtually. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. What does the term "collaborative accounting" really mean? Think nano-nano-revolutionary, cross-media, vertical. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Without well-planned e-businesses, action-items are forced to become leading-edge, compelling. Our enterprise feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our client-focused research and development and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement.