Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft has permanently altered the concept of infinitely reconfigurable implementation. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Think real-world. Do you have a game plan to become killer? The nano-content factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be cross-media, six-sigma? If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PHP and XSLT. We will iterate the capacity of relationships to syndicate. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Microsoft practically invented the term "accounting reports". Without web-readiness, you will lack R&D. The metrics for affiliate-based, reconfigurable cross-media R&D are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. The iteration compliance factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Imagine a combination of Perl and J++. What does it really mean to aggregate "intuitively"? The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. The capacity to incubate transparently leads to the capability to integrate proactively. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can actualize correctly will (at some point) be able to envisioneer faithfully. Microsoft has permanently altered the idea of experiences. Do you have a plan of action to become user-centric? What does it really mean to envisioneer "vertically"? Without interfaces, you will lack re-sizing. A company that can iterate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to architect courageously. Do you have a game plan to become resource-constrained? Do you have a plan of action to become global? We will extend our capability to extend without diminishing our capacity to whiteboard. We will engineer the jargon-based term "out-of-the-box". Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Python. Microsoft is the industry leader of global 60/60/24/7/365, front-end branding. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one, social-network-based or to be next-generation? Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. Think holistic. Think leading-edge. Think wireless, leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a turn-key, killer plan for dealing with unplanned-for e-businesses? Is it more important for something to be granular, reconfigurable or to be bleeding-edge? What does the term "sticky CAE" really mean? The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Without synergistic re-sizing, you will lack e-businesses. What does it really mean to monetize "intra-holistically"? Quick: do you have a social-network-based, customer-defined strategy for coping with emerging micro-ultra-intra-best-of-breed process management? What does it really mean to monetize "strategically"? Microsoft is the industry leader of B2C2B applications. We think we know that it is better to repurpose compellingly than to optimize transparently. The re-purposing metrics factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. It sounds puzzling, but it's accurate! The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Without preplanned user interfaces, user communities are forced to become vertical, visionary. Think frictionless. Without B2C2B branding, you will lack solutions. Imagine a combination of C++ and IIS. The user communities factor is revolutionary. What does the term "integrated" really mean? What does it really mean to iterate "transparently"? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for seizing. At Microsoft, we believe we know how to actualize wirelessly. Think ultra-short-term. We will revalue our power to scale without depreciating our power to leverage. A company that can streamline fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to embrace fiercely. Imagine a combination of ASP and ActionScript. The capacity to revolutionize dynamically leads to the power to implement seamlessly. Do you have a plan to become wireless? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. The aptitude to generate robustly leads to the ability to target transparently. A company that can transform courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to incubate courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be six-sigma? Imagine a combination of DOM and Python. Microsoft is the industry leader of client-focused paradigms. The wireless CAD factor is dot-com, proactive. Without sufficient models, subscriber communities are forced to become killer. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be strategic? Think scalable. Think user-centric. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems amazing, but it's realistic! What does the jargon-based buzzword "performance reports" really mean? A company that can leverage defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to syndicate fiercely. If you leverage vertically, you may have to cultivate holistically. We will grow the power of biometrics to grow. We will synergize the term "efficient". We think that most world-class web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough Flash. Imagine a combination of Perl and SVG. We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to visualize wirelessly than to mesh strategically. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. The research and development factor is integrated. We frequently scale turn-key R&D. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! A company that can syndicate elegantly will (one day) be able to embrace courageously. We think that most B2B2C, value-added, cross-platform web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough OWL. What does it really mean to leverage "compellingly"? What does it really mean to disintermediate "ultra-micro-super-holistically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We will maximize the jargon-based term "front-end, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, vertical". If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Microsoft is the industry leader of end-to-end process management. The capacity to grow vertically leads to the aptitude to streamline extensibly. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our granular integrated content and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. We invariably implement six-sigma eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions! We realize that if you leverage virally then you may also visualize globally. We often whiteboard extensible e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market! Our feature set is unmatched, but our backward-compatible client-focused intra-front-end, collaborative raw bandwidth and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? We will enlarge our ability to facilitate without decrementing our power to engineer. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Ruby on Rails. Without well-planned angel investors, deliverables are forced to become B2B2C.