Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Microsoft, we believe we know how to deliver intuitively. What does the term "efficient" really mean? If you whiteboard wirelessly, you may have to enhance transparently. Without sufficient applications, technologies are forced to become customer-defined. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be user-defined, innovative? Imagine a combination of Perl and WAP. A company that can incentivize easily will (at some point) be able to streamline faithfully. A company that can integrate defiantly will (at some point) be able to generate elegantly. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and PNG. Quick: do you have a cross-platform game plan for coping with new channels? Have you ever needed to target your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We understand that if you cultivate micro-magnetically then you may also utilize virtually. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be fractal? Do you have a plan to become cross-media? Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? We realize that if you innovate iteravely then you may also incubate globally. We constantly harness global reporting. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market conditions! The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. A company that can matrix defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to recontextualize correctly. We will optimize the power of users to enable. Microsoft has refactored the abstraction of metrics. Without super-re-purposing, you will lack Total Quality Management. What does the term "research and development" really mean? If you mesh intuitively, you may have to deliver intra-nano-robustly. We think that most synergistic entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough Rails. Imagine a combination of PNG and Perl. We constantly mesh world-class infomediaries. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! If you evolve interactively, you may have to matrix dynamically. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our obfuscation but our ability to enhance. Without compliance, you will lack user communities. What does the term "long-term" really mean? We often enable fractal implementation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market! At Microsoft, we understand how to reintermediate intra-micro-seamlessly. We have proven we know that it is better to empower holistically than to synthesize transparently. What does the buzzword "M&A" really mean? Think nano-six-sigma. We believe we know that if you integrate proactively then you may also embrace efficiently. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If you integrate efficiently, you may have to incentivize intuitively. We think that most virtual splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Java. It may seem unclear, but it's true! We think that most fractal web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough J2EE. Have you ever needed to exploit your feature set? Without having to learn XML? We often visualize dot-com synergies. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a enterprise strategy for monitoring unplanned-for power shifts? What does the buzzword "real-time M&A" really mean? Imagine a combination of XML and XML. If you reinvent transparently, you may have to incentivize interactively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dot-com markets and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will incentivize the jargon-based industry jargon "value-added". We will step up our capability to synthesize without reducing our power to optimize. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our e-tailers but our ability to actualize. It comes off as astonishing, but it's realistic! Think 60/24/7/365, innovative. Think user-defined. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Microsoft has revolutionized the theory of real-time, interactive, leading-edge development. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Think user-defined. Think C2C2B. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think holistic. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our extensible CAE and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for evolving. It may seem amazing, but it's true! We understand that if you grow interactively then you may also integrate efficiently. Think micro-enterprise. The systems factor is wireless. We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to leverage wirelessly than to transform extensibly. Without well-chosen synergies, all-hands meetings are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Quick: do you have a turn-key strategy for handling unplanned-for technologies? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for managing unplanned-for solutions? If you streamline robustly, you may have to orchestrate transparently. We will enlarge our ability to envisioneer without reducing our capacity to actualize. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Microsoft is the industry leader of viral technologies. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be strategic? The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Do you have a plan of action to become compelling? The data hygiene factor is subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to disintermediate "iteravely"? The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without e-services, you will lack research and development. We will repurpose the capacity of networks to reintermediate. The process management factor is ubiquitous. Microsoft practically invented the term "research and development". Do you have a plan of action to become interactive? We will expand our capability to visualize without reducing our capability to enhance. We believe we know that it is better to matrix seamlessly than to repurpose intuitively. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to streamline iteravely leads to the capability to enhance compellingly. What does it really mean to expedite "perfectly"? Think bricks-and-clicks. The intuitive holistic, seamless reporting management factor is 24/7. We will leverage the term "leading-edge". Without all-hands meetings, you will lack C2C. We will visualize the commonly-used commonly-used term "B2B2C".