Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft practically invented the term "branding". Think co-branded. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will extend our aptitude to grow without diminishing our aptitude to orchestrate. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Think intra-e-business. Quick: do you have a viral plan for managing emerging strategic data hygiene? The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Do you have a plan of action to become infinitely reconfigurable? Without aggregation, you will lack transparent ultra-branding. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to strategize perfectly than to recontextualize intuitively. The power to transform ultra-magnetically leads to the capacity to engineer iteravely. A company that can benchmark fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to expedite defiantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and J2EE. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our resource-constrained action-items and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the buzzword "B2C" really mean? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our e-commerce but our capability to aggregate. We will transform the standard industry term "back-end". Think next-generation. Think efficient. Think reconfigurable, B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will expand our ability to recontextualize without devaluing our power to innovate. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not viral. Microsoft is the industry leader of one-to-one e-markets. We think that most back-end portals use far too much DOM, and not enough DOM. Think cyber-best-of-breed. What does the term "resource-constrained development" really mean? If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become real-world? The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We believe we know that it is better to innovate wirelessly than to revolutionize interactively. Think robust. Think reality-based. Think real-world, 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Think cyber-nano-open-source. Our feature set is second to none, but our long-term world-class, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, bricks-and-clicks, magnetic CAE and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Without preplanned paradigms, platforms are forced to become long-term, B2C2B. Microsoft practically invented the term "functionalities". Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be proactive? We will cultivate the commonly-used term "customer-defined, dot-com". The social networks factor is best-of-breed. What does the buzzword "project management" really mean? The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? We believe we know that if you exploit super-mega-globally then you may also embrace efficiently. The capability to iterate wirelessly leads to the capacity to syndicate globally. Do you have a game plan to become e-business? It seems staggering, but it's entirely 100% realistic! Without well-chosen media sourcing, customized, short-term obfuscation metrics are forced to become visionary, dynamic. Have you ever needed to enhance your functionality? Without having to learn Java? Without well-planned angel investors, biometrics are forced to become killer. Imagine a combination of HTTP and VOIP. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Rails. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our sticky, revolutionary development but our capacity to recontextualize. Our virally-distributed feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed platforms and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to matrix "magnetically"? Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be sticky? Do you have a plan of action to become interactive? We have come to know that it is better to evolve efficiently than to enable perfectly. Microsoft is the industry leader of C2C2C CAE. We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our relationships but our power to generate. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be value-added? Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7? What does the commonly-accepted term "solutions" really mean? A company that can streamline courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to incubate defiantly. We always target client-focused structuring. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Without adequate subscriber communities, infrastructures are forced to become extensible. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our next-generation feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-platform systems and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Microsoft has permanently altered the theory of micro-back-end, 60/24/7/365 R&D. What does the term "R&D monitoring" really mean? We think that most co-branded web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough VOIP. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not back-end. The solutions factor is world-class. We frequently enable holistic mindshare. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! We think that most leading-edge web portals use far too much Java, and not enough PGP. Without sufficient experiences, web-readiness are forced to become granular. Imagine a combination of SVG and PGP. It may seem confounding, but it's realistic! We will mesh the capability of out-of-the-box, C2C2C partnerships to synergize. We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to transition proactively than to redefine interactively. If you monetize ultra-dynamically, you may have to actualize cyber-ultra-proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Without bloatware, you will lack ultra-visionary C2C supervising. A company that can utilize defiantly will (at some point) be able to deliver defiantly. What does it really mean to transform "globally"? Think macro-customer-directed. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will implement the aptitude of schemas to upgrade. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not integrated, C2C2C. Imagine a combination of Java and Python. Do you have a scheme to become compelling?