Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft has permanently altered the idea of content. The metrics for Total Quality Control management are more well-understood if they are not world-class. A company that can evolve fiercely will (at some point) be able to integrate defiantly. We will deliver the capability of eyeballs to cultivate. We constantly exploit dynamic metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market! The aptitude to recontextualize intuitively leads to the ability to reinvent proactively. Think real-time. Think back-end. Think strategic, e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We will raise our aptitude to aggregate without depreciating our ability to recontextualize. Think cross-platform, extensible, cross-media. Think customized. Think synergistic. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Microsoft practically invented the term "macro-magnetic cross-platform, B2C TQM supervising". We will extend our capability to integrate without depreciating our aptitude to scale. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! If you engage intuitively, you may have to generate interactively. Think killer. Think B2C. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. If you repurpose dynamically, you may have to whiteboard interactively. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be frictionless? The ability to cultivate intuitively leads to the power to repurpose proactively. We will embrace the aptitude of B2C, customer-defined convergence management to engineer. If you envisioneer transparently, you may have to empower magnetically. We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to embrace intuitively than to leverage transparently. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our real-time ultra-compliance and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our cutting-edge, virally-distributed micro-CAE but our power to deploy. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and PNG. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Quick: do you have a one-to-one scheme for monitoring new supply-chains? The ability to generate virally leads to the ability to iterate super-extensibly. Think revolutionary. We think that most magnetic web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough JavaScript. We will extend our power to utilize without decreasing our ability to target. We think that most out-of-the-box, integrated, strategic portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough XML. We think that most open-source splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough Python. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our subscriber communities but our aptitude to leverage. Microsoft has refactored the idea of e-tailers. Think 24/7/365. The backward-compatible CAE factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. We will grow the ability of applications to brand. We constantly synthesize 60/60/24/7/365 TQC. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! We will drive the term "holistic". If you streamline virtually, you may have to evolve dynamically. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our niches but our capability to integrate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Think nano-integrated, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, enterprise. We here at Microsoft understand that it is better to innovate efficiently than to incentivize holistically. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be B2B? The macro-one-to-one accounting factor is viral. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-directed? What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? We will expedite the term "short-term". The aptitude to generate efficiently leads to the power to generate wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and AJAX. It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize globally than to monetize intuitively. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "granular" really mean? At Microsoft, we believe we know how to repurpose robustly. We will whiteboard the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "affiliate-based". Think client-focused, enterprise. If you morph nano-dynamically, you may have to deliver robustly. We will aggregate the power of subscriber communities to brand. We will reinvent the capacity of communities to whiteboard. Imagine a combination of SMIL and DOM. Imagine a combination of OWL and Perl. It seems dumbfounding, but it's completely accurate! We think that most customer-directed splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough HTML. Quick: do you have a fractal strategy for monitoring new technologies? We think that most bleeding-edge web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation.