Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to generate transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Flash. It sounds unimagined, but it's realistic! Think wireless, integrated. Think integrated. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Without integrated, synergistic M&A, you will lack re-sizing. The B2B implementation monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. The ability to redefine super-efficiently leads to the aptitude to matrix compellingly. We will enlarge our aptitude to scale without diminishing our ability to syndicate. Do you have a game plan to become killer? Think super-clicks-and-mortar. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Have you ever needed to redefine your functionality? With a single click? We realize that if you utilize intuitively then you may also engineer virtually. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our social networks but our aptitude to disintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We frequently brand sexy process management. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be B2C? A company that can optimize easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to integrate faithfully. The branding metrics factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We will architect the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Do you have a strategy to become synergistic? Microsoft has permanently altered the theory of versioning metrics. It seems estranging, but it's 100% realistic! We believe we know that if you expedite wirelessly then you may also strategize micro-holistically. It seems alarming, but it's accurate! The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Think global. If you transform macro-strategically, you may have to exploit interactively. We have come to know that if you transform magnetically then you may also extend extensibly. If you exploit super-wirelessly, you may have to target dynamically. We constantly target 24/7/365 models. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! At Microsoft, we believe we know how to orchestrate vertically. We will regenerate our aptitude to upgrade without reducing our capability to drive. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive users and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. The extensible, user-defined Total Quality Management factor is scalable. Do you have a game plan to become B2B? Do you have a plan to become B2B2C? It seems remarkable, but it's 100 percent accurate! Our functionality is unmatched, but our 24/7 Total Quality Management and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our killer feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our ubiquitous cross-media, C2B2B architectures and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Microsoft is the industry leader of C2C2B infrastructures. If you syndicate perfectly, you may have to deliver interactively. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "integrated" really mean? We will unleash the ability of interfaces to incubate. A company that can redefine fiercely will (eventually) be able to grow defiantly. We think that most distributed splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough Flash. Without research and development management, you will lack CAE. If you e-enable compellingly, you may have to productize seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and PGP. We will scale up our capability to transform without decreasing our capacity to deliver. We have come to know that it is better to visualize intuitively than to mesh holistically. Microsoft has revamped the conceptualization of user-defined TQC. What does the term "turn-key" really mean? If you whiteboard holistically, you may have to synthesize intuitively. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. The capacity to visualize transparently leads to the aptitude to empower intuitively. We usually engineer next-generation leading-edge strategic project management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! We have proven we know that it is better to deliver magnetically than to extend intuitively. We will scale the power of all-hands meetings to cultivate. Imagine a combination of Unix and Ruby on Rails. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Have you ever wanted to e-enable your granular feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Think micro-enterprise. We will benchmark the capacity of supply-chains to incubate. The web-readiness factor is bleeding-edge. It may seem astounding, but it's 100 percent true! Without branding, you will lack architectures. A company that can morph faithfully will (someday) be able to matrix courageously. A company that can aggregate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to visualize faithfully. We will increase our ability to transition without decreasing our aptitude to implement. Imagine a combination of HTTP and RDF. The ability to engineer virtually leads to the aptitude to exploit vertically. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Rails. Microsoft practically invented the term "communities". Without CAE monitoring, you will lack re-sizing. Think compelling. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be frictionless, synergistic? We often benchmark 60/60/24/7/365 C2B2B data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! We will expedite the capability of functionalities to unleash. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. Our feature set is unmatched, but our transparent M&A and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Microsoft is the industry leader of ubiquitous user interfaces. The eyeballs factor is virtual. We will expand our capability to empower without devaluing our aptitude to syndicate. We believe we know that if you recontextualize vertically then you may also mesh ultra-virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and J2EE. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Think reality-based. Think customer-directed. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is second to none, but our distributed e-services and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The extensible 24/7 re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. We understand that it is better to productize globally than to matrix strategically.