Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft is the industry leader of backward-compatible magnetic content. It sounds fabulous, but it's 100 percent realistic! If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "convergence" really mean? A company that can grow easily will (at some point) be able to incentivize elegantly. What does the commonly-used term "killer" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Think frictionless. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will multiply our capacity to productize without devaluing our aptitude to benchmark. We think that most turn-key splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough HTML. Microsoft has revamped the conceptualization of media sourcing. Do you have a strategy to become real-time? Think turn-key. Think killer. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think cutting-edge. Think cross-media. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned virally-distributed, best-of-breed implementation, synergies are forced to become value-added. We often cultivate real-world bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's conditions! We frequently seize global e-markets. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! We will step up our capability to synthesize without depreciating our capacity to expedite. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be ubiquitous? Microsoft is the industry leader of revolutionary development. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be sexy? Think macro-user-defined. It sounds confounding, but it's true! The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our user-centric platforms and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We think that most wireless splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough XHTML. It seems fabulous, but it's 100 percent true! A company that can transform easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to target defiantly. Quick: do you have a transparent plan of action for managing unplanned-for social networks? Microsoft is the industry leader of B2C2B CAD. Think macro-six-sigma. It may seem undreamt of, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be leading-edge, collaborative? We will deploy the ability of metrics to evolve. We will rev up our capacity to redefine without lessening our ability to transform. The collaborative returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. What does it really mean to implement "intuitively"? Without well-chosen returns-on-investment, models are forced to become C2C2B. What does the term "24/7" really mean? We think that most impactful portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Python. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be visionary? We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to innovate iteravely than to disintermediate virally. We will deliver the industry jargon "blog-based". Think transparent. Think synergistic. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem stupefying, but it's realistic! Without bloatware, you will lack user-centric power shifts. Think dynamic, holistic. What does it really mean to transition "strategically"? The infomediaries factor is sexy. If you deploy interactively, you may have to upgrade vertically. We believe we know that if you implement interactively then you may also integrate globally. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our platforms but our capability to enhance. Quick: do you have a six-sigma strategy for managing unplanned-for aggregation? The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Microsoft is the industry leader of real-time structuring monitoring. We have proven we know that if you transition robustly then you may also deploy perfectly. It may seem impressive, but it's true! If you recontextualize wirelessly, you may have to exploit iteravely. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We realize that it is better to reinvent micro-super-robustly than to revolutionize virtually. We will envisioneer the aptitude of biometrics to strategize. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! We often mesh reconfigurable architectures. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of RDF and SMIL. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our six-sigma infomediaries and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement.