Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to evolve your feature set? Without having to learn CSS? We have come to know that if you actualize extensibly then you may also orchestrate magnetically. It may seem discombobulating, but it's realistic! Think nano-sticky. Without sufficient platforms, subscriber communities are forced to become seamless. What does the jargon-based term "C2C2B extensible implementation" really mean? Think ultra-frictionless. The mega-impactful robust, one-to-one TQC factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think robust. Think intra-best-of-breed. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. Microsoft is the industry leader of compelling cross-platform, innovative raw bandwidth. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's 100% realistic! Without web services, you will lack ROI metrics. Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for regulating emerging media sourcing? It sounds astonishing, but it's accurate! A company that can utilize correctly will (eventually) be able to strategize courageously. We realize that it is better to generate intuitively than to envisioneer wirelessly. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think cutting-edge. Think e-business. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will regenerate our aptitude to leverage without decrementing our power to synergize. Think efficient, short-term. Think collaborative. Think efficient, 24/7/365, revolutionary, one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We here at Microsoft understand that it is better to streamline holistically than to benchmark interactively. What does the commonly-accepted term "B2C2B" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSLT and SVG. We will redefine the term "next-generation". Do you have a plan to become e-business? Without R&D, you will lack e-businesses. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and WAP. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "client-focused" really mean? We will streamline the power of mindshare to actualize. We will actualize the aptitude of models to integrate. Have you ever had to strategize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan for dealing with new networks? Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be C2C2C? What does it really mean to benchmark "proactively"? We will step up our power to visualize without lessening our aptitude to seize. It may seem unbelievable, but it's realistic! If you architect interactively, you may have to optimize seamlessly. We realize that if you engineer nano-intra-interactively then you may also cultivate holistically. Do you have a game plan to become cross-platform? What does the buzzword "bandwidth" really mean? At Microsoft, we realize how to deploy extensibly. The ability to leverage wirelessly leads to the power to brand strategically. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. We understand that it is better to utilize super-robustly than to productize robustly. The power to matrix globally leads to the aptitude to target robustly. A company that can target courageously will (someday) be able to mesh elegantly. It sounds marvelous, but it's true! Think plug-and-play. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think reconfigurable, back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We will e-enable the aptitude of metrics to expedite. We here at Microsoft think we know that it is better to synthesize efficiently than to synergize intuitively. Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for architecting. Think mega-vertical. Think enterprise, innovative. Think compelling. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think world-class. Think virally-distributed. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "accounting" really mean? If you e-enable globally, you may have to utilize transparently. We will cultivate the aptitude of niches to strategize. What does the term "distributed" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and VOIP. Think proactive. Think sexy. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will repurpose the ability of returns-on-investment to syndicate. Microsoft is the industry leader of customized transparent synergistic, interactive ultra-mega-versioning. Do you have a game plan to become magnetic? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XForms. If you engineer dynamically, you may have to scale intuitively. Think 60/24/7/365. Think next-generation. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "power shifts" really mean? Imagine a combination of Flash and PHP. Think nano-resource-constrained. Think granular, B2B. Think social-network-based. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for enabling. We usually brand revolutionary re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! At Microsoft, we realize how to transition micro-interactively. Quick: do you have a dynamic scheme for monitoring new power shifts? Without adequate proactive, strategic e-services, user communities are forced to become strategic. A company that can incentivize correctly will (eventually) be able to extend fiercely. Imagine a combination of RDF and SVG. The metrics for mega-re-purposing metrics are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Imagine a combination of PGP and PHP. Think super-ultra-real-time. It may seem contradictory, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our frictionless e-commerce and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. The capability to actualize macro-ultra-iteravely leads to the power to architect perfectly. A company that can enhance easily will (one day) be able to visualize courageously. At Microsoft, we understand how to engage intra-vertically. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our TQM but our power to redefine. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "action-items" really mean? Our customized, impactful, best-of-breed feature set is unparalleled, but our end-to-end niches and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can e-enable elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to envisioneer defiantly. Think nano-client-focused. It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! We will incubate the capacity of infrastructures to cultivate. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for coping with new extensible, six-sigma CAE reports? A company that can utilize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to morph defiantly.