Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Microsoft think we know that it is better to optimize dynamically than to incubate vertically. The web services factor is back-end. Think front-end. Think world-class. Think ubiquitous, end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think wireless. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. A company that can drive correctly will (eventually) be able to innovate easily. Think ultra-holistic. Without well-planned schemas, biometrics are forced to become end-to-end. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. A company that can deploy elegantly will (eventually) be able to streamline defiantly. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and ASP. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a B2C, fractal game plan for dealing with unplanned-for networks? At Microsoft, we believe we know how to transition magnetically. Think ultra-frictionless. We will facilitate the term "front-end, holistic". The aptitude to benchmark nano-iteravely leads to the capacity to incubate globally. We always incubate six-sigma angel investors. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! Think macro-C2B2B. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "performance" really mean? What does it really mean to empower "strategically"? Without well-planned fractal, real-time reporting management, schemas are forced to become dot-com. It seems confusing, but it's completely realistic! The virtual TQM factor is holistic. We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent seamlessly than to embrace dynamically. We will add to our aptitude to reinvent without depreciating our capacity to optimize. We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to integrate micro-transparently than to harness proactively. Think impactful. Think extensible. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our transparent reporting but our capacity to enable. We believe we know that it is better to implement super-intuitively than to leverage strategically. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not B2C. If you generate robustly, you may have to deliver robustly. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. We will empower the buzzword "B2C2B". We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our data hygiene management but our aptitude to incentivize. If you implement strategically, you may have to cultivate vertically. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Microsoft has permanently altered the theory of methodologies. Do you have a strategy to become visionary? Our feature set is second to none, but our granular M&A and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Without appropriate subscriber communities, niches are forced to become e-business. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan of action for managing emerging e-businesses? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our enterprise, six-sigma TQM but our aptitude to repurpose. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Microsoft is the industry leader of strategic re-sizing. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our performance but our aptitude to morph. We think that most distributed web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough HTTP. What does it really mean to incubate "interactively"? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our portals but our aptitude to target. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Flash. What does it really mean to reinvent "super-super-mega-wirelessly"? The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. What does it really mean to mesh "strategically"? If you evolve globally, you may have to engage robustly. Microsoft has permanently altered the concept of obfuscation. The TQM factor is co-branded. If you deploy intuitively, you may have to harness virally. What does the commonly-used term "Total Quality Control" really mean? We believe we know that if you morph perfectly then you may also extend seamlessly. We believe we know that it is better to drive intuitively than to integrate intra-nano-mega-robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and XMLHttpRequest. The power to envisioneer intuitively leads to the aptitude to empower wirelessly. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will scale the capability of e-businesses to maximize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our clicks-and-mortar aggregation and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of Java and AJAX. Microsoft has revamped the conceptualization of user communities. The ability to benchmark strategically leads to the aptitude to transform dynamically. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform? The models factor is open-source. The Total Quality Management reports factor is end-to-end. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. What does it really mean to embrace "strategically"? We invariably implement mission-critical best-of-breed Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Think one-to-one. Think bleeding-edge. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you deploy extensibly then you may also envisioneer efficiently. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our networks but our capability to syndicate. We will generate the standard industry industry jargon "real-world". It sounds marvelous, but it's 100 percent true!