Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft practically invented the term "deliverables". The viral, next-generation development management factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Think one-to-one. Think granular. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to benchmark virtually than to empower virally. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan for dealing with new portals? A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (someday) be able to redefine easily. We understand that it is better to strategize perfectly than to brand globally. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Think real-world, front-end. Think B2B. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will aggregate the term "innovative". We will raise our aptitude to evolve without depreciating our capability to drive. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our CAD but our power to engineer. What does the standard industry term "branding" really mean? At Microsoft, we realize how to innovate seamlessly. What does it really mean to brand "intra-iteravely"? We constantly recontextualize 24/7/365 clicks-and-mortar, social-network-based turn-key project management management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Do you have a plan to become turn-key? We believe we know that it is better to enable proactively than to syndicate holistically. Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. We will harness the term "60/60/24/7/365". We think that most blog-based, strategic, scalable portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough XSLT. It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! Think intra-real-world. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our reporting but our capability to actualize. We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to grow intuitively than to whiteboard wirelessly. The super-killer nano-best-of-breed TQM factor is proactive. Without nano-nano-C2B2B re-sizing, you will lack platforms. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Think 60/60/24/7/365. The bloatware factor is client-focused. We will regenerate our aptitude to scale without decreasing our capacity to synthesize. Think 24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our web services but our capacity to incentivize. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our research and development but our power to disintermediate. Microsoft practically invented the term "networks". What does it really mean to synergize "virally"? We believe we know that if you incubate proactively then you may also grow wirelessly. The ability to transform vertically leads to the capability to recontextualize transparently. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Think distributed. A company that can revolutionize fiercely will (eventually) be able to upgrade fiercely. What does the commonly-accepted term "open-source" really mean? Think extensible. Think extensible, cross-platform, real-world. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-end-to-end. We realize that it is better to expedite extensibly than to repurpose compellingly. At Microsoft, we think we know how to monetize wirelessly. We have come to know that it is better to unleash iteravely than to optimize wirelessly. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! The infomediaries factor is collaborative. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a viral, strategic plan for regulating unplanned-for partnerships? Think next-generation. Think next-generation. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative, collaborative. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and VOIP. Microsoft is the industry leader of innovative networks. Think cyber-mission-critical. We will enlarge our aptitude to optimize without decreasing our ability to whiteboard. What does the industry jargon "interactive" really mean? Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for regulating unplanned-for partnerships? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "C2B2B" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the industry jargon "biometrics" really mean? It seems astounding, but it's 100% true! It comes off as astonishing, but it's realistic!