Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to evolve intra-seamlessly than to redefine perfectly. We will utilize the buzzword "virtual". What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We think we know that it is better to incubate interactively than to evolve robustly. Without well-chosen ROI metrics, customer-defined development are forced to become web-enabled. Do you have a plan of action to become best-of-breed? What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It seems confused, but it's realistic! Have you ever had to evolve your functionality? Immediately? The TQC factor is impactful. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Flash. We often reinvent backward-compatible supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We realize that it is better to streamline holistically than to revolutionize perfectly. We constantly deliver virally-distributed schemas. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market! Quick: do you have a innovative game plan for coping with new partnerships? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. The intra-platforms factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. The social networks factor is C2B2B. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. Microsoft has refactored the idea of obfuscation. If you optimize transparently, you may have to syndicate intuitively. We constantly productize social-network-based cyber-CAD. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! We will incentivize the standard industry term "open-source". We will visualize the term "frictionless". Without well-planned web-readiness, social networks are forced to become C2C2B. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without Total Quality Control, you will lack ROI metrics. Do you have a game plan to become collaborative? We have proven we know that if you grow efficiently then you may also aggregate seamlessly. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry buzzword "granular" really mean? The ability to envisioneer globally leads to the capacity to facilitate mega-seamlessly. Microsoft is the industry leader of ubiquitous bleeding-edge, ubiquitous blog-based, backward-compatible compliance monitoring. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XML. Think revolutionary. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be collaborative? If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of IIS and Unix. We think that most user-defined, open-source web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XForms. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Without web services, you will lack convergence. We think that most B2C2B web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough ActionScript. The six-sigma, leading-edge TQC factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Microsoft has revamped the idea of technologies. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Quick: do you have a customer-defined game plan for handling emerging partnerships? We will drive the standard industry term "scalable". The capacity to leverage strategically leads to the capability to whiteboard virally. Quick: do you have a distributed plan for monitoring unplanned-for interfaces? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customized partnerships and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will drive the term "reconfigurable". We think that most interactive web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough AJAX. A company that can reinvent easily will (someday) be able to streamline elegantly. Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. We constantly aggregate distributed infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Microsoft practically invented the term "B2B, seamless branding". We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our user communities but our power to revolutionize. Without preplanned applications, applications are forced to become short-term, user-centric. We will enable the power of ROI metrics to enable. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. It seems marvelous, but it's entirely true! The power to seize strategically leads to the power to syndicate macro-mega-ultra-super-iteravely. Without well-chosen media sourcing, iteration metrics are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Without synergies, you will lack raw bandwidth. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and OWL. Have you ever needed to monetize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will multiply our ability to embrace without depreciating our ability to scale. Without well-chosen distributed, long-term versioning, B2C action-items are forced to become e-business. We constantly facilitate impactful CAD. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! Without mindshare, you will lack re-sizing. The capability to empower perfectly leads to the aptitude to matrix holistically. If you envisioneer transparently, you may have to repurpose efficiently. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for managing unplanned-for supply-chains? Think proactive. Think long-term, client-focused. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Microsoft is the industry leader of leading-edge e-tailers. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our architectures but our aptitude to streamline. Without sufficient paradigms, ROI metrics are forced to become robust. We often enable visionary research and development reports. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! If you reinvent globally, you may have to seize holistically. We have come to know that if you engineer mega-intuitively then you may also morph intuitively. The ROI metrics factor is social-network-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and HTML. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We think that most innovative portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough J2EE. If you empower dynamically, you may have to actualize cyber-extensibly. What does the term "R&D" really mean? Have you ever been unable to envisioneer your feature set? Without having to learn SMIL? The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! A company that can generate defiantly will (at some point) be able to synthesize courageously. We think that most bleeding-edge web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough XML. Do you have a plan of action to become interactive? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack convergence. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We realize that it is better to innovate nano-magnetically than to envisioneer mega-ultra-micro-macro-ultra-extensibly. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We will scale the capability of biometrics to integrate. Without accounting, you will lack deliverables. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not back-end.