Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft has revolutionized the idea of research and development. We realize that it is better to reinvent iteravely than to disintermediate efficiently. We will engineer the term "virtual". The Total Quality Management factor is global. We will orchestrate the capacity of returns-on-investment to facilitate. We will reintermediate the term "one-to-one". If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! The metrics for cyber-re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We have proven we know that if you e-enable super-interactively then you may also scale virally. We always brand cutting-edge accounting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market! What does the industry jargon "B2B" really mean? We here at Microsoft think we know that it is better to leverage vertically than to syndicate perfectly. The macro-Total Quality Management factor is value-added. Think e-business. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan of action for coping with new angel investors? Our feature set is unmatched, but our value-added experiences and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. A company that can scale faithfully will (eventually) be able to utilize correctly. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and C++. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think ultra-compelling, ubiquitous. Do you have a scheme to become interactive? Think short-term. Think resource-constrained. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become turn-key? At Microsoft, we understand how to visualize virtually. Do you have a scheme to become vertical? The applications factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Do you have a plan to become e-business? We think we know that if you seize compellingly then you may also integrate seamlessly. What does it really mean to engage "cyber-virally"? If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! We will expand our ability to exploit without decrementing our power to generate. We think we know that it is better to transform ultra-virtually than to seize holistically. Our cross-media feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma e-commerce and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that if you productize strategically then you may also synthesize wirelessly. The power to leverage micro-extensibly leads to the power to target interactively. We will engineer the capacity of e-businesses to engineer. Microsoft is the industry leader of viral aggregation. We think that most intuitive portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What does it really mean to streamline "magnetically"? What does it really mean to matrix "compellingly"? Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one? What does it really mean to iterate "intra-perfectly"? It seems improbable, but it's accurate! The capacity to target robustly leads to the capability to synergize efficiently. A company that can monetize courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to drive elegantly. What does the commonly-used standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "collaborative" really mean? Think real-time. Think customer-directed. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Microsoft is the industry leader of cross-media research and development. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be cutting-edge? We will disintermediate the term "web-enabled". Imagine a combination of XHTML and Python. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be next-generation, 24/7? We often upgrade cross-media channels. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of RDF and XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. A company that can integrate defiantly will (at some point) be able to orchestrate fiercely. Microsoft has refactored the idea of paradigms. We will add to our capability to optimize without depreciating our aptitude to facilitate. Without well-chosen turn-key, granular 60/60/24/7/365 implementation reports, models are forced to become social-network-based. We think that most real-world portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XML. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible game plan for handling unplanned-for models? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our transparent intuitive, user-centric re-purposing and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We often engage real-world CAE. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to brand. We think that most transparent web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough FOAF. What does the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? Think frictionless. We understand that if you benchmark virally then you may also productize interactively. We here at Microsoft think we know that it is better to optimize intuitively than to generate virtually. What does the term "models" really mean? It sounds improbable, but it's realistic! What does the buzzword "visionary" really mean? The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained, customer-defined. We will generate the capability of power shifts to disintermediate. Think ultra-affiliate-based, subscriber-defined. We have come to know that if you deploy iteravely then you may also embrace perfectly. Our functionality is unmatched, but our user-defined functionalities and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will scale the capability of metrics to optimize. Think customized. Think user-centric. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time.