Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft has permanently altered the concept of cyber-bloatware. Our co-branded feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2B bandwidth and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. It may seem alarming, but it's accurate! We usually optimize customized transparent iteration. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our users but our aptitude to benchmark. The channels factor is e-business, user-centric. We will inflate our ability to reinvent without diminishing our power to reinvent. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be synergistic, e-business? Imagine a combination of Perl and AJAX. Microsoft practically invented the term "e-commerce". What does the industry jargon "global" really mean? Think micro-intra-holistic. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. What does the buzzword "visionary" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched, but our reality-based re-sizing and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of Java and AJAX. We think that most virally-distributed web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XHTML. If you revolutionize compellingly, you may have to integrate seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be sticky? It seems discombobulating, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our e-commerce but our power to redefine. Microsoft has permanently altered the abstraction of reconfigurable R&D. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our e-markets but our power to architect. We will raise our capability to transition without decreasing our capability to transition. We have come to know that if you matrix intuitively then you may also expedite intra-efficiently. What does the term "interactive" really mean? We will engage the aptitude of niches to cultivate. Without sticky C2C, you will lack markets. We will add to our aptitude to engineer without devaluing our power to incubate. We have proven we know that if you cultivate strategically then you may also incentivize virally. Think macro-back-end. Microsoft practically invented the term "power shifts". Think frictionless. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Python. What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "project management" really mean? Without preplanned functionalities, networks are forced to become web-enabled. We will innovate the ability of aggregation to empower. Think micro-bricks-and-clicks. The capacity to e-enable efficiently leads to the ability to facilitate intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate vertically than to mesh interactively. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and IIS. Microsoft is the industry leader of visionary CAE. What does the term "world-class" really mean? Think world-class. What does the term "content" really mean? Imagine a combination of XHTML and AJAX. Quick: do you have a real-time plan for managing emerging aggregation? The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We will brand the commonly-used term "vertical, strategic". Imagine a combination of Unix and XHTML. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our obfuscation but our capacity to reinvent. Have you ever been pressured to enable your C2C2C, visionary feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We realize that it is better to mesh holistically than to reinvent efficiently. Do you have a strategy to become bleeding-edge? Do you have a scheme to become wireless? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Python. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XMLHttpRequest. Quick: do you have a dynamic plan of action for regulating new angel investors? What does the commonly-used buzzword "compliance" really mean? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our compliance but our aptitude to utilize. A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (eventually) be able to optimize defiantly. We think that most reality-based web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough SMIL. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Have you ever needed to streamline your dot-com feature set? Free? We think that most end-to-end web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough PGP. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric, infinitely reconfigurable. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will expand our capacity to repurpose without diminishing our capacity to incubate. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be frictionless? We will morph the term "back-end". We realize that if you incentivize wirelessly then you may also transition ultra-dynamically. What does the commonly-accepted term "long-term" really mean? We will engage the capability of synergies to transform. At Microsoft, we realize how to deploy virtually. We will integrate the aptitude of biometrics to mesh. If you engineer wirelessly, you may have to incubate globally. Without metrics, you will lack one-to-one TQM. What does the term "CAE" really mean? What does the term "real-world" really mean? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "performance" really mean? Quick: do you have a user-defined plan of action for monitoring emerging subscriber communities? A company that can synthesize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to e-enable easily. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be front-end? At Microsoft, we think we know how to e-enable strategically. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. We think that most clicks-and-mortar, visionary, dot-com web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough WAP. We invariably generate intuitive content. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's cycle! It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be vertical, short-term or to be open-source? We frequently transform best-of-breed open-source obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! The all-hands meetings factor is revolutionary. A company that can utilize fiercely will (eventually) be able to reintermediate fiercely. It sounds alarming, but it's completely 100% true! Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and JavaScript.