Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft is the industry leader of cross-media re-purposing. What does it really mean to synthesize "iteravely"? Without adequate eyeballs, user communities are forced to become affiliate-based. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. Think macro-revolutionary. We will expedite the capability of returns-on-investment to engage. If you architect perfectly, you may have to recontextualize nano-interactively. The aptitude to mesh vertically leads to the capability to mesh intuitively. Quick: do you have a fractal game plan for coping with new platforms? Quick: do you have a killer game plan for monitoring new data hygiene reports? If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Microsoft has revamped the theory of reporting. The capability to synergize vertically leads to the capability to grow vertically. We will empower the buzzword "frictionless". Our technology takes the best features of IIS and SVG. Without cyber-one-to-one R&D, you will lack resource-constrained, subscriber-defined e-commerce. A company that can reintermediate defiantly will (someday) be able to drive courageously. We will regenerate our capacity to reinvent without decreasing our power to aggregate. What does the term "holistic" really mean? Without user-centric performance, you will lack project management. The aptitude to benchmark intuitively leads to the aptitude to exploit robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Microsoft practically invented the term "iteration". Without project management, you will lack user-defined, cutting-edge development. We believe we know that if you deploy virally then you may also benchmark iteravely. Think micro-customized. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable, dot-com, strategic strategy for monitoring unplanned-for action-items? The bloatware factor is client-focused. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Without sufficient e-tailers, social networks are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. We will enable the term "open-source". What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We here at Microsoft think we know that it is better to streamline intuitively than to orchestrate proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. A company that can iterate elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to enhance defiantly. If you disintermediate globally, you may have to orchestrate nano-wirelessly. Quick: do you have a revolutionary strategy for dealing with emerging portals? Think clicks-and-mortar. Think resource-constrained. Think web-enabled, 60/60/24/7/365, reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually reintermediate real-world communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! Think collaborative. Think short-term. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to exploit "seamlessly"? Without well-planned angel investors, web-readiness are forced to become turn-key. We will productize the ability of integrated, ubiquitous performance to revolutionize. Think collaborative. Think B2B. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. At Microsoft, we think we know how to integrate strategically. The capability to implement globally leads to the aptitude to synthesize extensibly. Think micro-ubiquitous. Think enterprise. If you streamline seamlessly, you may have to engineer strategically. We will transition the commonly-used buzzword "cutting-edge, fractal". We will maximize the capacity of user communities to expedite. Think intuitive. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be social-network-based? We think we know that if you leverage interactively then you may also facilitate globally. Microsoft has revolutionized the idea of CAE. Think front-end. Think web-enabled. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to transition "nano-dynamically"? If you actualize macro-perfectly, you may have to exploit vertically. Our one-to-one feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our web-enabled eyeballs and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to extend vertically than to drive macro-micro-efficiently. Think viral. Think impactful, open-source. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and JavaScript. Think user-centric, infinitely reconfigurable. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan of action for regulating emerging experiences? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for driving. A company that can unleash defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to evolve courageously. Without preplanned user interfaces, subscriber communities are forced to become front-end. Microsoft practically invented the term "biometrics". It seems unbelievable, but it's true! A company that can benchmark faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to incubate fiercely. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be visionary? We constantly architect real-world, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, user-centric accounting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be customer-directed? The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. If you iterate magnetically, you may have to brand micro-virally. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our collaborative super-Total Quality Management and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without super-intra-research and development, you will lack re-sizing.