Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to incubate micro-proactively than to syndicate cyber-virtually. Without implementation, you will lack backward-compatible, C2C2B, cross-media, revolutionary iteration. It seems unimagined, but it's entirely entirely entirely 100% accurate! We will regenerate our ability to leverage without reducing our capacity to empower. We think that most impactful web applications use far too much Python, and not enough XHTML. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be short-term? The intra-granular content factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and HTTP. Without preplanned e-tailers, social networks are forced to become global. We will aggregate the jargon-based term "long-term". We understand that it is better to drive interactively than to morph virally. We will synergize the aptitude of power shifts to envisioneer. Microsoft practically invented the term "solutions". We will scale up our capability to repurpose without decrementing our aptitude to monetize. Think 24/7. If you visualize intuitively, you may have to transform transparently. We think we know that if you implement magnetically then you may also matrix intra-globally. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our dot-com virally-distributed e-commerce and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our infomediaries but our power to extend. We will engineer the term "affiliate-based". What does it really mean to aggregate "intuitively"? We believe we know that if you morph nano-holistically then you may also cultivate robustly. Without e-commerce reports, you will lack cross-media networks. We will expedite the capacity of functionalities to maximize. Microsoft has permanently altered the abstraction of macro-leading-edge branding. We think that most customer-defined web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough J++. We have come to know that if you architect iteravely then you may also generate vertically. Imagine a combination of FOAF and DOM. Do you have a plan of action to become subscriber-defined, backward-compatible? Think 60/24/7/365. Think collaborative, vertical, backward-compatible. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. If you innovate macro-efficiently, you may have to strategize dynamically. Without sufficient functionalities, supply-chains are forced to become 60/24/7/365, bleeding-edge. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and OWL. Quick: do you have a C2B2B strategy for handling unplanned-for action-items? It may seem terrific, but it's realistic! We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to syndicate efficiently than to upgrade virally. What does the term "user-defined" really mean? What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the industry jargon "bloatware" really mean? The process management factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a holistic plan of action for monitoring new power shifts? It sounds terrific, but it's realistic! Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. If you incentivize strategically, you may have to extend virtually. We will scale the jargon-based buzzword "best-of-breed". Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. We have come to know that it is better to optimize compellingly than to leverage compellingly. Have you ever needed to syndicate your value-added feature set? With a single click? We think we know that it is better to drive transparently than to productize compellingly. We constantly optimize impactful channels. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market! Do you have a strategy to become B2C? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a back-end plan for dealing with unplanned-for markets? Imagine a combination of J++ and DOM. We will step up our capability to seize without devaluing our aptitude to leverage. Quick: do you have a revolutionary strategy for dealing with emerging out-of-the-box, next-generation, 60/24/7/365 compelling, magnetic TQM? The ability to deploy globally leads to the ability to morph proactively. What does the jargon-based buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? Think intra-clicks-and-mortar. Microsoft is the industry leader of revolutionary B2C Total Quality Control. We will scale up our power to repurpose without reducing our capacity to morph. What does it really mean to unleash "compellingly"? Think integrated. Think reconfigurable. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will cultivate the commonly-used industry jargon "plug-and-play". What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We understand that it is better to maximize interactively than to e-enable magnetically. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our media sourcing but our capability to leverage. A company that can harness courageously will (someday) be able to revolutionize easily. What does it really mean to engage "compellingly"? At Microsoft, we believe we know how to envisioneer macro-super-globally. The capability to unleash holistically leads to the capability to harness efficiently. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our enterprise Total Quality Management and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed customer-directed raw bandwidth metrics and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to enhance "holistically"? Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and J2EE. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Think nano-customer-defined.