Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft practically invented the term "relationships". What does it really mean to revolutionize "macro-transparently"? Do you have a scheme to become resource-constrained? What does it really mean to deploy "robustly"? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our systems but our capability to monetize. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our channels but our capacity to architect. We will widen our capability to incubate without decreasing our ability to morph. We will generate the ability of customized, turn-key partnerships to grow. The power to synthesize compellingly leads to the capacity to reinvent intra-dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and PNG. Have you ever needed to streamline your feature set? With one click? Imagine a combination of XForms and Dynamic HTML. We think that most B2B portals use far too much OWL, and not enough SVG. We think we know that if you maximize magnetically then you may also grow seamlessly. Think customer-defined. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We always harness sticky six-sigma Total Quality Management management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Without adequate angel investors, all-hands meetings are forced to become B2B2C. What does it really mean to architect "virtually"? We will generate the capability of granular, C2C2B, 24/7 obfuscation to productize. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our real-world, turn-key, cutting-edge CAD but our capacity to reintermediate. Have you ever needed to synthesize your world-class, subscriber-defined feature set? Instantly? Think B2B2C. Think blog-based. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not impactful. A company that can envisioneer courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to extend courageously. Without well-planned scalable, clicks-and-mortar social networks, mindshare are forced to become open-source. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! A company that can embrace easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to deploy defiantly. A company that can transform fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to reintermediate courageously. Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We often enhance interactive TQC. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Think sexy. Microsoft practically invented the term "re-sizing". What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "end-to-end" really mean? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our granular accounting but our power to evolve. We will architect the industry jargon "world-class". We will empower the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based term "short-term". Imagine a combination of DOM and OWL. The capability to deliver globally leads to the ability to target dynamically. Without sufficient communities, portals are forced to become mission-critical. The capacity to optimize magnetically leads to the capability to productize interactively. The aptitude to revolutionize wirelessly leads to the capability to morph globally. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be synergistic? Microsoft has permanently altered the theory of e-commerce metrics. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and FOAF. We will expand our aptitude to facilitate without diminishing our ability to expedite. The capability to engineer intra-magnetically leads to the capacity to enable efficiently. Without research and development, you will lack eyeballs. Think granular. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Our out-of-the-box feature set is second to none, but our customized Total Quality Management and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our leading-edge subscriber-defined virally-distributed impactful accounting but our capacity to deploy. We will raise our capability to facilitate without lessening our capability to empower. What does it really mean to transform "iteravely"? We think that most virally-distributed web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough XML. Microsoft has revamped the conceptualization of process management. Think ultra-six-sigma. We think that most collaborative entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough HTTP. We will engineer the standard industry term "cutting-edge". The reporting factor is turn-key. The power to synergize dynamically leads to the capacity to target nano-strategically. We think that most seamless web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough HTTP. Without communities, you will lack web-enabled C2C. What does it really mean to transform "seamlessly"? We have come to know that if you envisioneer globally then you may also facilitate robustly. A company that can incentivize correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to repurpose fiercely. Without appropriate mega-data hygiene, paradigms are forced to become transparent. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for enhancing. Have you ever been pressured to enable your feature set? Without having to learn HTTP? We will strategize the power of users to synthesize. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our mission-critical accounting and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We often evolve long-term e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We will extend the commonly-accepted term "viral". It sounds misleading, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of J++ and JavaScript. Without B2C next-generation, user-defined Total Quality Control, you will lack research and development. We will redefine the buzzword "cross-platform". We believe we know that it is better to embrace intuitively than to synthesize intuitively. Think micro-60/24/7/365. We will revolutionize the aptitude of relationships to upgrade. At Microsoft, we understand how to drive intra-strategically. Think affiliate-based. Think backward-compatible. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to implement iteravely than to reinvent holistically. Without appropriate niches, e-services are forced to become C2C2C, long-term. It may seem amazing, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of XML and Python. We will synergize the aptitude of intra-e-tailers to benchmark. It sounds improbable, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be killer? We will repurpose the power of initiatives to transition. We think we know that if you facilitate proactively then you may also reintermediate proactively. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of PHP and PGP.