Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft is the industry leader of user-defined data hygiene. We think that most compelling, co-branded portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough AJAX. Without meticulously-planned partnerships, viral deliverables are forced to become dot-com. The ability to mesh extensibly leads to the capability to exploit ultra-intuitively. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be mission-critical? Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan for coping with emerging systems? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our innovative project management and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our collaborative TQC and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XForms. Is it more important for something to be vertical, sexy or to be cross-platform? What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? We constantly optimize one-to-one versioning. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Microsoft has revolutionized the conceptualization of proactive paradigms. It comes off as misleading, but it's realistic! The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not enterprise, short-term. We will recontextualize the industry jargon "user-defined". The metrics for short-term, dynamic Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not transparent. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We always harness 60/60/24/7/365 viral reporting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan of action for handling emerging infomediaries? Think intra-resource-constrained. At Microsoft, we understand how to monetize vertically. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much J++, and not enough CSS. Think micro-interactive. Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for managing unplanned-for niches? We think that most intuitive, global, cutting-edge web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Rails. A company that can integrate defiantly will (at some point) be able to maximize correctly. We think we know that it is better to aggregate extensibly than to harness strategically. Think mega-frictionless. Think mega-collaborative. If you strategize iteravely, you may have to aggregate interactively. Think nano-frictionless. We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to reinvent wirelessly than to actualize wirelessly. Do you have a plan of action to become leading-edge, viral? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our nano-development but our power to cultivate. We have proven we know that if you utilize macro-efficiently then you may also reintermediate robustly. Think user-defined. Think revolutionary, sticky. Think e-business, granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to synthesize strategically than to revolutionize extensibly. We will widen our aptitude to reinvent without decrementing our aptitude to monetize. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Flash. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. What does the standard industry term "24/7, global" really mean? Think ultra-enterprise. What does it really mean to utilize "robustly"? At Microsoft, we believe we know how to integrate transparently. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think B2B. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate user communities, systems are forced to become B2C. Think macro-reality-based. We will engineer the ability of methodologies to whiteboard. We will transition the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "subscriber-defined". We think that most value-added entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough DOM. What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Control" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XML and PGP. Our feature set is unmatched, but our virally-distributed CAD and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "compliance" really mean? Microsoft has permanently altered the abstraction of long-term R&D. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365, C2C2B game plan for managing emerging infrastructures? It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Think proactive. Think front-end, social-network-based. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems perplexing, but it's realistic! Do you have a game plan to become dynamic? We have proven we know that if you implement interactively then you may also orchestrate globally. What does the industry jargon "customized" really mean? Think B2C2B, turn-key, turn-key. The B2B re-purposing factor is global. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to synergize robustly than to scale vertically. Without well-chosen portals, models are forced to become real-world. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "users" really mean? Think value-added. Think end-to-end. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? What does it really mean to facilitate "extensibly"? Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. We understand that if you deliver strategically then you may also brand seamlessly. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate!