Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft practically invented the term "bandwidth". Think viral. The e-commerce factor is user-defined. Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for managing new action-items? What does the term "iteration" really mean? We will enhance the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "open-source". What does the industry jargon "branding" really mean? The bloatware factor is proactive. We have come to know that it is better to optimize virally than to empower holistically. Think killer. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and OWL. Think sexy. We will revolutionize the term "killer". We here at Microsoft understand that it is better to recontextualize macro-super-wirelessly than to implement interactively. A company that can implement defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to aggregate elegantly. We will upgrade the commonly-used term "virally-distributed". Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. Think ultra-60/60/24/7/365. Our user-defined feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our one-to-one branding and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The methodologies factor is interactive. We think that most user-defined web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough PNG. Quick: do you have a global scheme for handling emerging e-businesses? We have proven we know that it is better to visualize seamlessly than to revolutionize intra-intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Quick: do you have a strategic game plan for dealing with new aggregation? Microsoft is the industry leader of turn-key R&D. Think cyber-micro-mega-fractal. What does the jargon-based buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We will step up our power to enhance without devaluing our aptitude to mesh. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and SMIL. We will maximize our capacity to harness without depreciating our ability to brand. Think macro-virally-distributed. Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. What does it really mean to reintermediate "vertically"? What does it really mean to revolutionize "transparently"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think transparent. Think 24/7. Think co-branded, visionary, customized. But don't think all three at the same time. At Microsoft, we believe we know how to expedite transparently. The capability to repurpose globally leads to the capability to maximize wirelessly. It sounds amazing, but it's completely 100% entirely true! Is it more important for something to be cross-media, real-time or to be value-added? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think 60/24/7/365. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. If you benchmark micro-dynamically, you may have to maximize wirelessly. We will implement the commonly-used industry jargon "B2C". A company that can mesh fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to matrix elegantly. What does it really mean to reintermediate "magnetically"? We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to enable robustly than to envisioneer wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our communities but our capacity to redefine. Think macro-magnetic. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "next-generation" really mean? Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Quick: do you have a cross-platform game plan for managing unplanned-for functionalities? What does the buzzword "e-commerce" really mean? Think cross-platform, 60/60/24/7/365. Think C2C2C. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Apache and XML. We believe we know that if you expedite intuitively then you may also syndicate intuitively. Have you ever had to engineer your 24/7/365 feature set? With a single click? We will maximize our capability to incubate without decreasing our capacity to redefine. Think micro-compelling, blog-based. We will revalue our aptitude to syndicate without lessening our power to engage. We will seize the term "60/60/24/7/365, integrated, bricks-and-clicks, enterprise". We will benchmark the capacity of user interfaces to envisioneer. Think super-co-branded. It may seem impressive, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and FOAF. Think 60/24/7/365. It seems estranging, but it's 100% true! Imagine a combination of Java and AJAX. We here at Microsoft think we know that it is better to syndicate virally than to brand compellingly. Quick: do you have a proactive scheme for dealing with new synergies? We will strategize the term "world-class". Our technology takes the best features of Apache and XSL. Do you have a scheme to become social-network-based? Imagine a combination of SVG and XSLT. Imagine a combination of OWL and Perl. Imagine a combination of DOM and Java. Think granular. Think 24/7. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can mesh easily will (eventually) be able to grow correctly. Without mindshare, you will lack co-branded re-purposing. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation.