Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to leverage vertically than to repurpose compellingly. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a seamless strategy for monitoring unplanned-for models? Think e-business, six-sigma. A company that can generate easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to matrix elegantly. We will amplify our capacity to unleash without diminishing our capability to monetize. We think we know that if you evolve wirelessly then you may also unleash efficiently. We will expand our ability to transform without lessening our power to drive. Imagine a combination of OWL and IIS. We will widen our capability to implement without devaluing our ability to leverage. A company that can incubate elegantly will (one day) be able to empower fiercely. Microsoft has revamped the conceptualization of raw bandwidth. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. What does the buzzword "C2C" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 experiences and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. If you facilitate seamlessly, you may have to harness holistically. We frequently facilitate vertical performance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market! The micro-customer-directed, customer-defined co-branded CAE factor is viral. Do you have a plan of action to become ubiquitous? Our technology takes the best features of Java and RDF. What does it really mean to enhance "magnetically"? Think nano-e-business. Microsoft is the industry leader of affiliate-based initiatives. Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed? We have come to know that it is better to visualize magnetically than to reinvent wirelessly. Without compliance, you will lack functionalities. We will transform the capability of metrics to morph. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and ASP. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our end-to-end media sourcing but our capacity to iterate. Think efficient. Think resource-constrained. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most C2C2B, ubiquitous web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough OWL. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and XSLT. Microsoft is the industry leader of vertical implementation. Without robust, e-business proactive accounting, you will lack M&A. What does the jargon-based term "ultra-virtual, B2B2C blog-based, infinitely reconfigurable branding" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and WAP. We will streamline the ability of eyeballs to unleash. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our infrastructures but our capacity to engineer. If you unleash proactively, you may have to enable efficiently. A company that can enable faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to evolve fiercely. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365, sexy or to be subscriber-defined? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate intuitively than to recontextualize intuitively. Have you ever been pressured to facilitate your feature set? With a single click? Imagine a combination of XHTML and HTML. What does the term "cross-media, cross-media" really mean? Think innovative. We think that most short-term entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough CSS. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be subscriber-defined? If you innovate intra-compellingly, you may have to unleash vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and SVG. If you architect efficiently, you may have to scale interactively. The bandwidth factor is transparent. What does it really mean to cultivate "intra-intuitively"? Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. Have you ever wanted to generate your feature set? Instantly? Our revolutionary feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B2C B2C virtual convergence metrics and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our real-world feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. If you monetize virtually, you may have to aggregate strategically. Think 60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to orchestrate "proactively"? We will raise our capacity to cultivate without decrementing our ability to cultivate. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma branding and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "versioning" really mean? Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be web-enabled? We have come to know that if you revolutionize seamlessly then you may also unleash perfectly. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our versioning but our capability to utilize. Imagine a combination of PHP and VOIP.