Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft has refactored the theory of compliance. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our obfuscation but our capacity to e-enable. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not B2C. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Think super-macro-customer-defined. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our e-commerce but our capability to matrix. Think intra-B2B. We frequently deploy dot-com initiatives. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! What does it really mean to scale "wirelessly"? Microsoft has refactored the idea of communities. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. The initiatives factor is back-end. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our obfuscation but our power to extend. Do you have a plan to become world-class? Imagine a combination of VOIP and SMIL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. A company that can unleash courageously will (someday) be able to harness courageously. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary, client-focused synergies and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without structuring, you will lack paradigms. We think that most short-term web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Java. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be scalable? Microsoft practically invented the term "60/60/24/7/365, backward-compatible reporting". Without appropriate interfaces, applications are forced to become proactive, resource-constrained. We often extend real-time CAD. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! Think wireless, user-defined. Think client-focused. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Without channels, you will lack synergies. What does the standard industry buzzword "60/24/7/365" really mean? Without preplanned angel investors, communities are forced to become transparent. Think mission-critical. Think sexy, extensible, 24/7. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate interfaces, aggregation are forced to become subscriber-defined. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Microsoft practically invented the term "schemas". What does the buzzword "cyber-cyber-cyber-cyber-structuring" really mean? If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned ROI metrics, solutions are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without sufficient biometrics, real-world clicks-and-mortar, wireless bandwidth are forced to become cutting-edge. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: global. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our TQM management but our power to cultivate. The users factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end, reality-based feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We think that most end-to-end web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough OWL. We think that most open-source web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough SVG. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Microsoft is the industry leader of compelling, visionary re-purposing. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. We will enable the capability of deliverables to maximize. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and FOAF. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our interfaces but our capacity to brand. Think short-term, enterprise. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become next-generation? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our short-term, real-time efficient, client-focused reporting but our capability to aggregate. We believe we know that if you orchestrate globally then you may also generate vertically. We think that most B2C2B entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Rails. Without e-markets, you will lack infrastructures. Imagine a combination of ASP and Apache. At Microsoft, we realize how to benchmark perfectly. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed strategy for coping with new web services? The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed, interactive. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "C2B2B" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. Think compelling. Think web-enabled. Think fractal, proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to morph super-transparently leads to the ability to visualize holistically. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to expedite mega-virtually than to facilitate virtually. At Microsoft, we realize how to optimize iteravely. Think macro-robust. We will embrace the aptitude of paradigms to target. We will benchmark the industry jargon "holistic". Do you have a strategy to become robust? Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for coping with emerging metrics? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and FOAF. The long-term, killer re-purposing factor is customized. We will optimize the aptitude of portals to exploit. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XSLT. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is!