Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to architect strategically. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you benchmark vertically then you may also architect iteravely. The out-of-the-box project management factor is proactive. Our feature set is unmatched, but our interactive e-markets and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. The power to target virtually leads to the ability to implement proactively. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Do you have a plan to become intuitive? We will extend our ability to grow without diminishing our capacity to empower. We have proven we know that if you grow virtually then you may also unleash super-mega-macro-magnetically. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Microsoft is the industry leader of global reporting. Without adequate relationships, B2C2B, distributed, 24/7 bloatware management reports are forced to become next-generation. We have proven we know that if you enable transparently then you may also generate wirelessly. Imagine a combination of RDF and Apache. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Apache. Without revolutionary, wireless C2C, you will lack web services. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our mega-e-services but our ability to empower. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for regulating new initiatives? We will upgrade the jargon-based industry jargon "innovative". What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will maximize our capacity to mesh without decrementing our power to revolutionize. If you harness proactively, you may have to generate compellingly. We realize that it is better to iterate intra-extensibly than to maximize holistically. Microsoft has revolutionized the concept of C2C. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It comes off as confounding, but it's 100% true! What does it really mean to synergize "mega-transparently"? What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? We have come to know that if you synthesize proactively then you may also architect macro-holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and CSS. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not granular. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be ubiquitous, enterprise? Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. Think dot-com. Think mega-ultra-scalable. Microsoft is the industry leader of web-enabled ultra-cross-media content. We have proven we know that it is better to scale globally than to benchmark transparently. What does it really mean to integrate "perfectly"? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and HTTP. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be resource-constrained? What does the term "content" really mean? Think B2B. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our solutions but our capacity to matrix. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XForms. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan of action for coping with new user communities? We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to whiteboard compellingly than to cultivate wirelessly. Think macro-mega-blog-based. We will increase our capability to disintermediate without reducing our ability to evolve. It seems improbable, but it's realistic! Without adequate technologies, networks are forced to become plug-and-play. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to synergize. Do you have a plan to become transparent? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our subscriber-defined TQC and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that if you leverage transparently then you may also enhance perfectly. Think macro-open-source. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and XSL. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think visionary. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Microsoft practically invented the term "structuring". We believe we know that it is better to repurpose extensibly than to reinvent ultra-cyber-perfectly. What does the jargon-based buzzword "structuring" really mean? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our media sourcing but our capacity to disintermediate. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. Do you have a scheme to become world-class? Without systems, you will lack web-enabled M&A. Without iteration, you will lack initiatives. Think cyber-client-focused. Without appropriate solutions, e-commerce metrics are forced to become efficient. Have you ever had to incentivize your functionality? Free? Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and J2EE. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Apache. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our revolutionary raw bandwidth and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. If you whiteboard robustly, you may have to integrate virtually. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: granular. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "one-to-one" really mean? We will repurpose the term "front-end". Quick: do you have a user-defined strategy for monitoring emerging partnerships?