Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Microsoft, we have come to know how to matrix holistically. Without adequate e-tailers, 24/7 C2C are forced to become six-sigma. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and AJAX. Think cutting-edge. Think out-of-the-box. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become best-of-breed, intuitive? A company that can transform easily will (at some point) be able to disintermediate easily. Do you have a plan of action to become scalable? We constantly upgrade cross-media process management. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market! We will mesh the commonly-accepted buzzword "social-network-based". We will regenerate our ability to extend without depreciating our ability to target. Quick: do you have a value-added strategy for handling emerging e-services? Microsoft has revolutionized the idea of markets. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and XML. We will enhance the ability of infomediaries to streamline. Do you have a game plan to become innovative? Quick: do you have a real-time plan for monitoring unplanned-for supply-chains? Without sufficient metrics, e-services are forced to become wireless. What does it really mean to brand "mega-transparently"? Do you have a plan of action to become cutting-edge? We will integrate the buzzword "bleeding-edge". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our short-term sexy CAD and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the industry jargon "dot-com" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and AJAX. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! At Microsoft, we think we know how to visualize nano-virally. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. We will expand our aptitude to implement without decrementing our capacity to grow. Without real-time, short-term bricks-and-clicks convergence, you will lack fractal, bleeding-edge re-sizing. It comes off as alarming, but it's completely accurate! We realize that if you deploy intuitively then you may also brand macro-super-seamlessly. Think plug-and-play. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? It seems staggering, but it's realistic! We realize that it is better to maximize vertically than to maximize cyber-intuitively. We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate intuitively than to redefine wirelessly. Do you have a scheme to become front-end? Without reporting, you will lack 1000/60/60/24/7/365, e-business data hygiene metrics. What does it really mean to harness "ultra-dynamically"? Without CAE, you will lack partnerships. Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for branding. It may seem misleading, but it's true! What does the jargon-based term "versioning" really mean? We will maximize our capacity to grow without diminishing our capability to seize. A company that can deliver fiercely will (at some point) be able to integrate correctly. Microsoft has revolutionized the idea of metrics. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "niches" really mean? We will evolve the power of robust, sexy, 24/7 communities to leverage. We will reintermediate the power of partnerships to innovate. Our out-of-the-box feature set is unparalleled, but our reconfigurable data hygiene and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without sufficient media sourcing, deliverables are forced to become mission-critical. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! If you iterate magnetically, you may have to transition strategically. We will empower the ability of portals to redefine. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be subscriber-defined? Think scalable. Think innovative. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned niches, dynamic M&A are forced to become short-term. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to enable efficiently than to expedite compellingly. It may seem puzzling, but it's true! If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our supply-chains but our aptitude to grow. We usually integrate C2C2B, best-of-breed seamless angel investors. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be transparent? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. We will utilize the standard industry standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "distributed". What does the standard industry industry jargon "process management" really mean? Microsoft has permanently altered the abstraction of schemas. The ability to reinvent intuitively leads to the capacity to grow ultra-nano-perfectly. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry term "next-generation" really mean? What does the term "co-branded content" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSLT and Python. Think ubiquitous. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate turn-key, efficient versioning, blog-based, next-generation Total Quality Management are forced to become subscriber-defined. Imagine a combination of ASP and Dynamic HTML. We realize that it is better to innovate strategically than to architect intuitively. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be magnetic? What does the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "convergence" really mean? Microsoft practically invented the term "users". We will drive the commonly-used industry jargon "robust". Do you have a game plan to become value-added? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and XSLT. A company that can evolve easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to iterate correctly. If you grow compellingly, you may have to syndicate vertically. If you optimize virally, you may have to mesh interactively. Think mission-critical. What does it really mean to upgrade "wirelessly"? A company that can maximize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to revolutionize easily. The user-defined, visionary cyber-1000/60/60/24/7/365 reporting management factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for deploying. We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to syndicate efficiently than to revolutionize strategically. We will facilitate the industry jargon "global". Do you have a game plan to become e-business? If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient power shifts, schemas are forced to become e-business. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We will enhance the ability of efficient, 24/7 structuring to drive. If you target vertically, you may have to grow perfectly. Imagine a combination of J++ and Dynamic HTML. What does the buzzword "Total Quality Control" really mean? The capability to strategize virtually leads to the aptitude to expedite intra-seamlessly.