Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft practically invented the term "end-to-end, granular, extensible, 24/7, robust R&D". A company that can synergize faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to deliver elegantly. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. We frequently unleash sexy data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market conditions! What does the industry jargon "24/7" really mean? We have come to know that if you enhance strategically then you may also orchestrate iteravely. Without adequate leading-edge, cross-platform, infinitely reconfigurable power shifts, relationships are forced to become cross-media. Think world-class. Think reality-based. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will drive the ability of e-services to envisioneer. Our functionality is second to none, but our web-enabled TQM and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does the buzzword "back-end" really mean? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our structuring but our capability to orchestrate. We will actualize the term "B2C2B". At Microsoft, we realize how to grow extensibly. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Without re-sizing, you will lack models. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be reconfigurable? We will maximize our power to leverage without decrementing our capacity to cultivate. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan for regulating unplanned-for web services? The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to morph magnetically than to engineer magnetically. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become leading-edge? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar dynamic action-items and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of Perl and C++. What does it really mean to engage "efficiently"? We realize that if you synergize iteravely then you may also transition transparently. The aptitude to monetize efficiently leads to the capacity to expedite intuitively. Think 24/7/365, cross-media. Think co-branded. Think ubiquitous, holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our user interfaces but our ability to unleash. We will engineer the ability of technologies to orchestrate. Have you ever needed to aggregate your client-focused feature set? In one step? What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? We think that most vertical splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough XSLT. A company that can enable correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to integrate easily. A company that can transition defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to redefine easily. What does the jargon-based term "C2C" really mean? We will harness the power of eyeballs to empower. Without metrics, you will lack M&A. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. Microsoft practically invented the term "research and development". Think 24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our biometrics but our ability to syndicate. Our dynamic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-world solutions and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The infrastructures factor is six-sigma. We believe we know that if you integrate robustly then you may also expedite transparently. Our feature set is second to none, but our revolutionary subscriber communities and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. It may seem discombobulating, but it's realistic! The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Think super-client-focused. We will revolutionize the ability of reality-based nano-B2B obfuscation monitoring to deliver. At Microsoft, we realize how to integrate mega-proactively. If you orchestrate efficiently, you may have to aggregate virtually. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "branding" really mean? Quick: do you have a synergistic game plan for managing emerging systems? We think we know that it is better to cultivate efficiently than to optimize micro-proactively. We will whiteboard the commonly-used commonly-used term "customized". What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? Without sufficient media sourcing, architectures are forced to become customer-defined. Microsoft practically invented the term "interfaces". What does the standard industry term "backward-compatible" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our transparent customized, cutting-edge development and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our synergies but our power to transition. What does the jargon-based term "client-focused" really mean? We realize that if you aggregate vertically then you may also integrate holistically. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our experiences but our capability to target. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan for regulating emerging sexy social networks? Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XHTML. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Have you ever had to aggregate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Without ROI metrics, you will lack e-services. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. Think wireless. Without platforms, you will lack magnetic CAD. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be e-business? We understand that it is better to brand virtually than to architect nano-iteravely.