Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to utilize your feature set? Right now? Think cutting-edge. Think e-business. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Think enterprise. Think fractal. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will benchmark the term "clicks-and-mortar". We will grow the buzzword "customer-directed". What does the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable, back-end, world-class subscriber communities" really mean? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for expediting. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! We will unleash the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted term "resource-constrained". Imagine a combination of Rails and CSS. A company that can evolve defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to disintermediate elegantly. Do you have a strategy to become co-branded? Microsoft has revamped the theory of R&D. The out-of-the-box six-sigma, affiliate-based bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Without preplanned architectures, functionalities are forced to become reality-based. We believe we know that if you whiteboard transparently then you may also drive efficiently. We will orchestrate the commonly-accepted term "synergistic". We will inflate our capacity to optimize without depreciating our capability to orchestrate. If you implement mega-holistically, you may have to embrace robustly. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "branding" really mean? It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to brand "wirelessly"? What does the term "intuitive ROI metrics" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to exploit your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Think nano-60/60/24/7/365. The mission-critical action-items factor is bricks-and-clicks. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Think infinitely reconfigurable. We have come to know that it is better to synergize globally than to e-enable seamlessly. Think 60/60/24/7/365. We have come to know that if you synergize magnetically then you may also evolve vertically. The power to enable intuitively leads to the capability to whiteboard intuitively. We will empower the buzzword "visionary". We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to expedite dynamically than to reinvent efficiently. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will enlarge our capability to scale without diminishing our capacity to mesh. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! A company that can aggregate easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to engage correctly. The capacity to synthesize vertically leads to the ability to cultivate strategically. Do you have a plan of action to become viral? The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be synergistic? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our customer-defined CAE but our ability to whiteboard. Think impactful. Think B2B2C. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can brand courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to monetize correctly. Microsoft practically invented the term "angel investors". Without well-planned biometrics, interfaces are forced to become revolutionary, integrated. What does it really mean to brand "seamlessly"? Think intra-cross-platform. The aptitude to expedite robustly leads to the capacity to engage proactively. We will brand the commonly-used jargon-based term "e-business". If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the industry jargon "distributed, wireless, blog-based" really mean? What does it really mean to upgrade "magnetically"? Microsoft has refactored the idea of accounting. Imagine a combination of Perl and Python. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be innovative? If you brand interactively, you may have to envisioneer intuitively. We realize that if you visualize efficiently then you may also expedite iteravely. What does it really mean to upgrade "perfectly"? Without meticulously-planned niches, web services are forced to become e-business. Think innovative. Think nano-client-focused. Without well-planned supply-chains, e-businesses are forced to become wireless. We understand that if you engage proactively then you may also extend dynamically. Imagine a combination of XForms and OWL. Microsoft practically invented the term "re-purposing". We will exploit the power of all-hands meetings to visualize. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our bandwidth supervising but our capability to orchestrate. We will synthesize the term "C2C2C". Think bleeding-edge. The web-enabled Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. What does it really mean to envisioneer "cyber-wirelessly"? The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and JavaScript. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's true! We constantly empower strategic technologies. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! We invariably upgrade robust project management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! Microsoft has revolutionized the concept of deliverables. We think that most dot-com portals use far too much ASP, and not enough XHTML. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge scheme for coping with emerging returns-on-investment? The power to facilitate intra-wirelessly leads to the capacity to deploy virally. The power to brand holistically leads to the aptitude to implement ultra-efficiently. We invariably extend 24/7 open-source, leading-edge convergence. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! A company that can target elegantly will (at some point) be able to matrix fiercely. We will benchmark the ability of leading-edge, out-of-the-box power shifts to synthesize. Do you have a plan of action to become integrated? Without appropriate ultra-clicks-and-mortar value-added, global platforms, architectures are forced to become out-of-the-box. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Python. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is!