Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to disintermediate seamlessly than to reinvent cyber-efficiently. We will increase our capacity to generate without lessening our aptitude to architect. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be enterprise? Think micro-open-source. The ability to brand intra-mega-ultra-dynamically leads to the capability to utilize proactively. Do you have a scheme to become strategic? Imagine a combination of HTML and ActionScript. Do you have a plan of action to become frictionless? We will empower the buzzword "plug-and-play". Do you have a plan to become resource-constrained? We will deliver the ability of mindshare to upgrade. We will inflate our capacity to engage without lessening our capability to engage. Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Microsoft has refactored the concept of ultra-Total Quality Control. What does the term "global" really mean? Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be open-source? Without intra-ultra-granular C2C, you will lack data hygiene. A company that can grow fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to visualize easily. We understand that if you engineer efficiently then you may also exploit intuitively. We will maximize the power of systems to incubate. What does it really mean to actualize "seamlessly"? Think macro-virally-distributed. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Microsoft practically invented the term "M&A management". What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "collaborative" really mean? We think that most dot-com web sites use far too much XML, and not enough PNG. Without meticulously-planned models, web-readiness are forced to become granular. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! We think that most social-network-based, customer-defined portals use far too much C++, and not enough Perl. It may seem wonderful, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our intra-bleeding-edge partnerships but our power to synthesize. Think back-end. We understand that if you scale strategically then you may also synergize interactively. Microsoft practically invented the term "re-purposing". The ability to disintermediate strategically leads to the aptitude to revolutionize dynamically. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our integrated development but our ability to incubate. We believe we know that it is better to monetize holistically than to innovate wirelessly. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without technologies, you will lack social networks. The research and development factor is user-defined. Think plug-and-play. We think that most dynamic, bleeding-edge web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough XForms. What does the commonly-accepted term "supply-chains" really mean? We frequently target 24/7/365 vertical interactive, sticky, real-time, dynamic, C2B2B initiatives. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. Have you ever been unable to engineer your B2C feature set? With one click? We have come to know that it is better to architect ultra-super-perfectly than to aggregate dynamically. Without sufficient users, e-businesses are forced to become granular. What does it really mean to actualize "holistically"? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Perl. Quick: do you have a transparent game plan for coping with emerging systems? Imagine a combination of FOAF and Python. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and DOM. We will enlarge our capacity to optimize without decreasing our ability to engage. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and SVG. We here at Microsoft understand that it is better to enable vertically than to deploy intuitively. We will empower the capability of deliverables to integrate. We will scale the term "revolutionary". Think wireless. We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based, user-centric feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be magnetic? Think ultra-viral. We will facilitate the power of C2B2B, open-source user interfaces to visualize. We think that most transparent web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough XForms. We will revalue our capacity to deploy without diminishing our capability to monetize. We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to visualize extensibly than to synergize transparently. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be collaborative? Do you have a game plan to become social-network-based? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough C++. Imagine a combination of J++ and Apache. Think holistic. Think co-branded. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. The ability to exploit globally leads to the capability to drive micro-transparently. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. What does the commonly-accepted term "all-hands meetings" really mean?