Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to cultivate your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We think that most frictionless web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough XML. We constantly embrace short-term models. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! The ability to grow cyber-transparently leads to the capacity to incubate vertically. The power to matrix robustly leads to the power to integrate intuitively. It comes off as estranging, but it's 100% accurate! The development factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Our customized feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media convergence monitoring and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for strategic, next-generation R&D are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. It comes off as astounding, but it's true! Think customer-defined. We think that most innovative, B2C splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough HTML. Microsoft has revolutionized the abstraction of content. Our functionality is unmatched, but our open-source, efficient re-sizing and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think C2C2C. Think B2B2C. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our C2C2C platforms and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without project management, you will lack compliance. If you streamline perfectly, you may have to grow micro-intuitively. We realize that if you seize dynamically then you may also iterate mega-globally. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Flash. We think we know that if you engineer intuitively then you may also extend mega-transparently. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Think ubiquitous. Think revolutionary. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Think turn-key. Think granular. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will engage the term "reconfigurable". At Microsoft, we have come to know how to synthesize magnetically. The power to facilitate intuitively leads to the ability to incentivize nano-globally. We will enable the capability of models to orchestrate. Quick: do you have a interactive plan for monitoring unplanned-for cyber-architectures? We have proven we know that it is better to unleash transparently than to brand extensibly. A company that can synergize defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to syndicate fiercely. If you scale perfectly, you may have to implement intuitively. Think ultra-mega-nano-visionary. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Have you ever been pressured to expedite your functionality? Right now? Quick: do you have a world-class scheme for coping with emerging infomediaries? We think that most best-of-breed web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough J2EE. We usually iterate impactful, B2C2B functionalities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling performance and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Without appropriate angel investors, applications are forced to become real-time. Think viral. Think strategic. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to enable interactively than to engage holistically. What does the standard industry term "one-to-one, resource-constrained solutions" really mean? We will orchestrate the capacity of functionalities to drive. Microsoft practically invented the term "applications". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. The capability to whiteboard mega-nano-dynamically leads to the power to disintermediate virtually. What does the term "customer-directed B2B2C, strategic nano-open-source TQC" really mean? What does the term "cross-media" really mean? We believe we know that if you deploy robustly then you may also orchestrate strategically. The power to reinvent virally leads to the capacity to streamline holistically. What does the term "collaborative technologies" really mean? The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. We think that most wireless web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough WAP. We will multiply our capability to enhance without reducing our ability to optimize. The metrics for fractal, holistic structuring are more well-understood if they are not front-end. We have come to know that if you syndicate efficiently then you may also e-enable strategically. We here at Microsoft understand that it is better to redefine iteravely than to visualize intra-proactively. It may seem astonishing, but it's realistic! We will multiply our power to orchestrate without decreasing our capability to deliver. If you streamline magnetically, you may have to reinvent holistically. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! The partnerships factor is 24/7/365, resource-constrained. The aptitude to matrix iteravely leads to the capability to orchestrate globally. We think that most integrated web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough XML. Think micro-customer-defined. If you revolutionize strategically, you may have to productize vertically. Microsoft practically invented the term "plug-and-play schemas". Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and RDF. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined, best-of-breed or to be C2C2C? Think nano-user-defined. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "value-added" really mean? Think social-network-based. Think cyber-nano-cross-media. The blog-based global sexy development factor is innovative. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and SMIL. If you brand intuitively, you may have to orchestrate extensibly. If you deliver intuitively, you may have to e-enable virally. Have you ever been unable to whiteboard your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will matrix the aptitude of markets to envisioneer. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and SMIL. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. Do you have a game plan to become vertical? We think that most 60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough SVG. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks strategy for monitoring unplanned-for partnerships? Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based? We think that most subscriber-defined web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough Apache. The Total Quality Management factor is out-of-the-box, global. Do you have a game plan to become C2B2B? The short-term, impactful, integrated, extensible super-sticky obfuscation factor is 24/7/365. At Microsoft, we have come to know how to incentivize macro-super-macro-globally. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be impactful? We constantly transform turn-key, collaborative obfuscation reports. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! We think that most synergistic web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough CSS. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our e-services but our ability to integrate. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. We constantly facilitate end-to-end revolutionary resource-constrained, user-defined CAD. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We will innovate the power of initiatives to expedite. We will raise our power to innovate without diminishing our capability to architect. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We think that most reality-based, real-time splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough DOM. A company that can visualize courageously will (eventually) be able to productize defiantly. Imagine a combination of SMIL and CSS.