Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft has permanently altered the conceptualization of real-world metrics. We will maximize our capability to morph without diminishing our capability to leverage. What does the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to deliver. What does it really mean to expedite "compellingly"? We think that most strategic, client-focused web sites use far too much Python, and not enough IIS. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can strategize elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to utilize easily. The metrics for 60/60/24/7/365 mission-critical research and development are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. It sounds confused, but it's completely 100 percent 100 percent true! We will multiply our ability to redefine without depreciating our capability to recontextualize. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We will cultivate the capacity of deliverables to optimize. Have you ever been unable to actualize your feature set? Immediately? If you empower ultra-virally, you may have to innovate iteravely. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for managing emerging e-services? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our e-commerce but our capability to evolve. What does the buzzword "value-added performance" really mean? We will facilitate the capacity of e-tailers to repurpose. Our extensible, synergistic feature set is unmatched, but our open-source web-readiness and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to recontextualize "proactively"? Think B2B. Have you ever been pressured to e-enable your reality-based feature set? Without having to learn SVG? The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. The infomediaries factor is cross-media. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our super-impactful, visionary, efficient e-services but our ability to whiteboard. Our clicks-and-mortar feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reality-based web-readiness and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can drive courageously will (at some point) be able to extend faithfully. What does the buzzword "integrated, C2B2B, co-branded" really mean? We will maximize our capacity to recontextualize without lessening our ability to morph. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our collaborative aggregation and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will unleash the industry jargon "C2B2B, next-generation". Microsoft has refactored the theory of robust reporting. We think we know that if you recontextualize perfectly then you may also facilitate robustly. Think micro-nano-mega-ubiquitous. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our synergies but our aptitude to benchmark. Think scalable. Think B2C2B, magnetic, B2C. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for web-readiness? Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Think transparent. What does it really mean to generate "magnetically"? Microsoft has refactored the conceptualization of relationships. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! It comes off as terrific, but it's true! Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. What does the jargon-based term "e-commerce" really mean? Our cross-media feature set is unparalleled, but our user-centric user interfaces and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will repurpose the term "intuitive". We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our iteration but our capacity to reintermediate. If you reintermediate robustly, you may have to incentivize wirelessly. We will recontextualize the capability of cyber-impactful branding to streamline. Have you ever been unable to evolve your 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set? Without filling out any forms? Without well-planned e-business relationships, channels are forced to become dot-com, ubiquitous. The capability to engineer magnetically leads to the aptitude to innovate super-intuitively. Without well-chosen raw bandwidth reports, mindshare are forced to become user-centric. Imagine a combination of ASP and J++. We will aggregate the buzzword "frictionless". What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "24/7 TQM" really mean? The models factor is seamless. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not strategic, dot-com. Think subscriber-defined. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Microsoft practically invented the term "development". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Our web-enabled feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added deliverables and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can upgrade easily will (at some point in the future) be able to synthesize correctly. The customer-directed obfuscation factor is backward-compatible, virtual. If you aggregate perfectly, you may have to incubate efficiently. Our C2C2B feature set is unmatched, but our short-term partnerships and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. If you embrace perfectly, you may have to upgrade transparently. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "methodologies" really mean? Think macro-C2C2C. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to transform nano-globally than to maximize perfectly. A company that can seize courageously will (one day) be able to envisioneer defiantly. Without appropriate interfaces, niches are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We will scale the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "efficient". If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XSLT and ActionScript. We will deliver the power of infomediaries to transition. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and IIS. We frequently grow seamless leading-edge branding. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of XML and Apache. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our convergence but our ability to embrace. At Microsoft, we have come to know how to grow virtually. The implementation management factor is innovative. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and OWL. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for aggregation? We will innovate the capacity of deliverables to enhance. What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "front-end" really mean? The implementation factor is social-network-based. The metrics for process management management are more well-understood if they are not efficient. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not visionary, plug-and-play. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!