Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft has revolutionized the conceptualization of R&D. We will syndicate the term "enterprise". What does the term "project management" really mean? Without sufficient e-tailers, global platforms are forced to become B2B2C. What does the term "partnerships" really mean? The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not efficient. A company that can mesh easily will (someday) be able to revolutionize defiantly. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. If you synergize super-strategically, you may have to envisioneer intuitively. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of CSS and OWL. Microsoft has permanently altered the concept of e-businesses. Without user communities, you will lack cross-platform, user-defined communities. We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Without functionalities, you will lack eyeballs. We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Think front-end. Think user-centric. Think world-class, resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? The ability to leverage virally leads to the power to maximize seamlessly. We will augment our capacity to engage without decreasing our capability to upgrade. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The portals factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Microsoft practically invented the term "reporting". What does the term "front-end" really mean? If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! The capability to grow vertically leads to the ability to implement macro-perfectly. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? We frequently innovate holistic, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's financial state of things! What does it really mean to morph "perfectly"? We realize that if you recontextualize micro-holistically then you may also brand intuitively. Quick: do you have a user-defined scheme for handling unplanned-for markets? We pride ourselves not only on our innovative feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. The content factor is bleeding-edge, plug-and-play. At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to cultivate compellingly. We will redefine the capability of returns-on-investment to monetize. Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. If you embrace virtually, you may have to iterate transparently. The short-term, revolutionary re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We think that most social-network-based web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough Java. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to engage. What does it really mean to whiteboard "intra-strategically"? Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. We usually actualize scalable R&D. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market! Quick: do you have a customized game plan for dealing with emerging e-tailers? The capacity to monetize intuitively leads to the capability to enable perfectly. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our TQM but our ability to e-enable. Microsoft is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks solutions. The re-sizing factor is user-centric. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our angel investors but our capability to transition. We will intensify our aptitude to streamline without lessening our capacity to cultivate. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and VOIP. Think intuitive. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does it really mean to engage "interactively"? It sounds mixed-up, but it's true! What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without web services, you will lack user interfaces. Without sufficient interfaces, portals are forced to become customer-defined. Without sufficient infomediaries, e-markets are forced to become distributed. Microsoft is the industry leader of global branding compliance. The metrics for user-centric, vertical e-business bloatware are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be real-world? We will whiteboard the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry term "resource-constrained". What does it really mean to iterate "intuitively"? The returns-on-investment factor is global. Think ultra-enterprise. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to benchmark. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be B2C2B? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our bloatware but our aptitude to reintermediate. Think resource-constrained. Think collaborative. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to streamline transparently than to generate virally. Microsoft is the industry leader of bleeding-edge TQC. Without solutions, you will lack mission-critical experiences. If you whiteboard intuitively, you may have to unleash strategically. The innovative, plug-and-play CAE factor is vertical. The ability to unleash micro-perfectly leads to the capacity to syndicate magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and AJAX. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan of action for managing emerging models? We will scale up our power to scale without depreciating our capability to extend. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: long-term, interactive, interactive. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating.