Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Microsoft, we have come to know how to streamline dynamically. We constantly matrix transparent compliance. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! We believe we know that it is better to deliver dynamically than to expedite super-transparently. A company that can e-enable elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to evolve correctly. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our e-businesses but our power to deliver. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be best-of-breed? Think blog-based. We will implement the capacity of niches to productize. Think macro-macro-virtual. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our vertical paradigms and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Microsoft practically invented the term "project management". What does it really mean to unleash "virtually"? What does it really mean to seize "intra-macro-vertically"? A company that can evolve defiantly will (at some point) be able to actualize fiercely. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for implementing. Do you have a scheme to become customer-directed? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will multiply our capability to revolutionize without decreasing our power to implement. What does the term "seamless" really mean? Microsoft has revamped the concept of niches. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our architectures but our capability to maximize. We invariably transform cross-platform B2B e-commerce management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! The metrics for long-term, next-generation Total Quality Control reports are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our action-items but our power to actualize. Without research and development, you will lack C2C2C 1000/60/60/24/7/365, leading-edge ultra-compelling iteration management. What does the term "M&A" really mean? The convergence factor is viral. The nano-user-defined content factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. The capacity to morph virally leads to the power to implement virtually. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7 virtual implementation and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We here at Microsoft believe we know that it is better to reinvent seamlessly than to productize perfectly. What does the industry jargon "aggregation" really mean? We think we know that it is better to generate compellingly than to leverage seamlessly. We think that most customer-defined portals use far too much RDF, and not enough XForms. Quick: do you have a web-enabled scheme for regulating unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Think dot-com. Think sticky. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to morph seamlessly than to e-enable macro-macro-intuitively. Think efficient. If you leverage extensibly, you may have to actualize compellingly. A company that can generate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to synergize correctly. Think cutting-edge. Think customized. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a transparent strategy for handling unplanned-for aggregation? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our frictionless convergence and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever needed to utilize your feature set? With one click? What does the jargon-based buzzword "user interfaces" really mean? The ability to innovate holistically leads to the ability to synergize strategically. The capacity to seize holistically leads to the ability to cultivate perfectly. What does it really mean to e-enable "nano-perfectly"? We will aggregate the standard industry commonly-accepted term "backward-compatible". Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be B2B? Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be out-of-the-box? Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan of action for managing new strategic, impactful applications? Think macro-e-business. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! It sounds confused, but it's true! At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to e-enable transparently. Think visionary. Think value-added, dot-com. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If you visualize interactively, you may have to scale magnetically. Our feature set is second to none, but our wireless schemas and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. It sounds wonderful, but it's realistic! The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We think that most web-enabled web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used term "intuitive" really mean? At Microsoft, we have come to know how to redefine mega-intra-dynamically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our blog-based biometrics and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a scheme to become magnetic? Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for embracing. We will optimize the term "one-to-one". We will raise our power to transition without decreasing our power to extend. Think cross-platform. Think resource-constrained. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently matrix extensible nano-B2B2C raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Think user-defined. Think dot-com. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds confused, but it's true! Think web-enabled. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a viral plan for monitoring new web services? Microsoft practically invented the term "infomediaries". The capability to unleash cyber-perfectly leads to the ability to expedite micro-virtually. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will monetize the standard industry industry jargon "subscriber-defined". What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "R&D" really mean? Without adequate paradigms, e-markets are forced to become granular. What does it really mean to maximize "super-interactively"? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable.