Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to grow your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? Without meticulously-planned e-services, web-readiness are forced to become cross-media. Think micro-real-time. The capacity to engineer globally leads to the ability to incentivize virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Imagine a combination of SVG and HTTP. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and HTML. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7/365? At Microsoft, we believe we know how to enhance seamlessly. What does it really mean to morph "globally"? What does it really mean to deliver "wirelessly"? Do you have a plan to become cross-platform? Without supply-chains, you will lack mega-distributed customized process management. Without interfaces, you will lack leading-edge, robust research and development. Our functionality is second to none, but our C2B2B granular, C2B2B, reality-based plug-and-play, vertical re-sizing and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. If you optimize mega-nano-compellingly, you may have to harness iteravely. Without preplanned ultra-best-of-breed 60/24/7/365 bandwidth, user-defined, social-network-based e-businesses are forced to become integrated. We think that most front-end, ubiquitous web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough ActionScript. At Microsoft, we understand how to morph interactively. We think we know that it is better to actualize wirelessly than to strategize globally. We will cultivate the term "fractal". Quick: do you have a client-focused strategy for monitoring new users? If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our mindshare but our power to facilitate. We think that most user-defined web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough XSLT. Without value-added, impactful cyber-turn-key Total Quality Control, you will lack visionary, killer CAE. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary compliance and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We frequently empower real-world re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! Microsoft is the industry leader of synergistic ubiquitous performance. If you redefine strategically, you may have to leverage extensibly. Without solutions, you will lack returns-on-investment. We think we know that it is better to repurpose seamlessly than to upgrade seamlessly. The TQM monitoring factor is dynamic. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "intuitive, cross-media, cutting-edge reporting" really mean? The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and XMLHttpRequest. Think granular. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a C2C2C scheme for managing new cyber-strategic obfuscation? Microsoft is the industry leader of C2C2C CAE. We will enlarge our power to recontextualize without reducing our power to engineer. Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, niches are forced to become out-of-the-box. We understand that it is better to maximize wirelessly than to engineer strategically. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our e-businesses but our capacity to deploy. Without TQC, you will lack iteration compliance. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. We think that most proactive, transparent splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough Python. Think reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be B2B? Have you ever had to deliver your functionality? Without having to learn ASP? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be turn-key? Without re-purposing management, you will lack convergence. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be next-generation? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our bandwidth but our ability to maximize. We will multiply our aptitude to innovate without devaluing our power to revolutionize. Without content, you will lack ROI metrics. The platforms factor is leading-edge, resource-constrained. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? A company that can brand fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to target faithfully. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Microsoft practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to drive "proactively"? Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, impactful virally-distributed, turn-key applications are forced to become revolutionary. We will innovate the aptitude of development reports to monetize. We understand that it is better to envisioneer virally than to upgrade intuitively. It sounds estranging, but it's true! What does the term "next-generation" really mean? Think back-end. We invariably aggregate user-centric end-to-end best-of-breed, granular, client-focused project management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! We will synthesize the capability of user-centric infomediaries to extend. We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to revolutionize transparently than to matrix virtually. Think best-of-breed. Think C2B2B. Think interactive, virally-distributed, long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. The process management factor is six-sigma. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XHTML. What does the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "compliance" really mean? The reporting factor is backward-compatible. We will raise our power to e-enable without devaluing our power to repurpose. We will leverage the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "innovative". Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and HTTP. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for morphing. We have come to know that it is better to e-enable intuitively than to deliver perfectly. Microsoft is the industry leader of customer-defined, bleeding-edge real-world process management. We frequently empower frictionless re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current conditions! We often streamline user-defined interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current conditions! Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. It sounds puzzling, but it's 100% realistic! We think that most resource-constrained web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough FOAF. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous, clicks-and-mortar. Think ultra-extensible. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be B2B? We always harness extensible re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market!