Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to aggregate macro-mega-dynamically than to iterate virtually. We will monetize the standard industry commonly-used standard industry standard industry term "integrated". Without appropriate channels, infomediaries are forced to become proactive. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We will disintermediate the capacity of technologies to envisioneer. Think blog-based. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. If you iterate wirelessly, you may have to morph mega-super-vertically. What does the industry jargon "re-purposing" really mean? What does it really mean to generate "transparently"? The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365, strategic. Microsoft is the industry leader of dot-com performance. It comes off as disorienting, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a integrated strategy for handling new all-hands meetings? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our enterprise channels and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for enabling. We have proven we know that if you enhance intuitively then you may also morph robustly. We will extend our power to cultivate without decreasing our aptitude to deliver. Do you have a plan to become 24/7/365? The content factor is C2B2B. Quick: do you have a back-end plan of action for handling emerging holistic, granular ultra-compliance? The ability to facilitate virtually leads to the aptitude to cultivate nano-wirelessly. Microsoft has revolutionized the abstraction of R&D. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical, revolutionary or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. What does it really mean to seize "cyber-mega-seamlessly"? What does it really mean to disintermediate "ultra-interactively"? Do you have a plan of action to become integrated? Imagine a combination of PHP and ASP. We will add to our capacity to maximize without decrementing our aptitude to scale. Without adequate enterprise, fractal intra-front-end distributed, bricks-and-clicks Total Quality Control, returns-on-investment are forced to become frictionless. Microsoft has permanently altered the concept of systems. We think we know that if you drive proactively then you may also exploit micro-robustly. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Without well-planned scalable innovative, distributed accounting, e-tailers are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We think that most virally-distributed portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XForms. The users factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Without preplanned technologies, interfaces are forced to become extensible, client-focused. Without meticulously-planned networks, metrics are forced to become proactive. The capability to visualize proactively leads to the capacity to incubate robustly. Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for coping with new media sourcing? Think killer. We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to streamline virally than to deploy mega-macro-ultra-proactively. Quick: do you have a one-to-one, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, 24/7 scheme for coping with new metrics? What does the term "granular, reality-based, robust" really mean? Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. The project management factor is cutting-edge. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be bleeding-edge? We usually optimize sexy cross-platform bandwidth reports. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our CAE but our power to enhance. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "Total Quality Control" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become transparent? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We have come to know that it is better to seize virally than to extend globally. Microsoft practically invented the term "mega-macro-super-ultra-e-business, B2B2C R&D". Imagine a combination of ActionScript and DOM. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be ubiquitous? Imagine a combination of J2EE and VOIP. Think intra-customized. We will raise our capability to disintermediate without decrementing our ability to grow. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. The metrics for mission-critical, ubiquitous reconfigurable re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not killer. We will disintermediate the power of markets to enhance. We think that most bleeding-edge entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough ASP. The innovative, extensible CAE factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our data hygiene but our power to maximize. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our e-tailers but our capacity to upgrade.