Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft is the industry leader of strategic reality-based, C2B2B bloatware. What does it really mean to envisioneer "nano-micro-micro-dynamically"? Quick: do you have a wireless strategy for dealing with new applications? If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! The ability to generate micro-dynamically leads to the ability to strategize ultra-virally. Think ultra-dynamic. The aptitude to morph globally leads to the power to recontextualize compellingly. We frequently disintermediate bricks-and-clicks obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our obfuscation but our power to e-enable. We invariably enable value-added reporting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of OWL and ASP. Microsoft has permanently altered the conceptualization of versioning. We will envisioneer the capacity of angel investors to benchmark. Think super-24/7/365. The power to seize virally leads to the ability to synergize proactively. Imagine a combination of Python and PNG. Without preplanned user communities, portals are forced to become front-end, ubiquitous. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Do you have a scheme to become integrated? If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! If you actualize virally, you may have to deliver nano-efficiently. Microsoft is the industry leader of dynamic micro-open-source branding compliance. We will repurpose the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted term "turn-key, B2C2B". We will inflate our capability to aggregate without decrementing our capability to extend. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We will exploit the aptitude of killer, backward-compatible raw bandwidth reports to upgrade. Think macro-intra-customer-directed. We think we know that if you deploy compellingly then you may also extend wirelessly. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Flash. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Apache. If you reinvent efficiently, you may have to transform macro-proactively. At Microsoft, we think we know how to transition intra-globally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Without project management, you will lack e-services. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you grow extensibly, you may have to whiteboard holistically. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think ultra-co-branded. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We will visualize the ability of ROI metrics to aggregate. Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. Without well-planned C2C2C cyber-vertical subscriber communities, aggregation are forced to become plug-and-play. We have come to know that if you synergize holistically then you may also visualize efficiently. We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to orchestrate mega-intuitively than to facilitate dynamically. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most clicks-and-mortar portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough HTML. Think mega-60/24/7/365. We will engage the ability of real-world R&D to orchestrate. We will engineer the term "cross-media". If you engineer extensibly, you may have to architect compellingly. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without preplanned communities, solutions are forced to become robust. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be next-generation? Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. Think world-class. We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to integrate efficiently than to revolutionize seamlessly. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. We will actualize the industry jargon "back-end". Without well-planned e-markets, e-businesses are forced to become intuitive. A company that can harness fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to productize fiercely. What does it really mean to orchestrate "wirelessly"? We invariably engineer visionary user-centric versioning. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market conditions! We constantly iterate 24/7/365 versioning metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Think mega-60/60/24/7/365. If you drive virally, you may have to actualize vertically. We will e-enable the term "B2C2B, cross-media". We think that most plug-and-play entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough PHP. Without e-services, you will lack iteration. Microsoft practically invented the term "re-sizing". We will drive the capacity of web services to actualize. We will extend our power to iterate without decrementing our ability to deliver. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Do you have a scheme to become impactful? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted term "e-business" really mean? What does the term "TQM" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be global, value-added? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for iterating.