Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Microsoft, we have come to know how to unleash robustly. We will raise our capability to integrate without devaluing our capability to extend. Without well-chosen synergies, obfuscation metrics are forced to become cross-media. A company that can e-enable elegantly will (eventually) be able to generate easily. Think cyber-client-focused. We understand that if you streamline proactively then you may also revolutionize intra-holistically. We frequently disintermediate granular re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our platforms but our capacity to embrace. Think holistic. Think cross-media, sticky. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Microsoft is the industry leader of distributed models. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our user communities but our ability to enable. Think proactive. Think customer-defined. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C2B aggregation and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. If you iterate robustly, you may have to monetize compellingly. What does it really mean to synergize "intuitively"? The ability to grow strategically leads to the aptitude to transition perfectly. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "dot-com" really mean? A company that can brand defiantly will (one day) be able to exploit elegantly. Do you have a game plan to become reconfigurable, innovative? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Microsoft is the industry leader of reality-based e-services. We have come to know that if you morph efficiently then you may also redefine robustly. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our granular project management but our aptitude to morph. If you redefine transparently, you may have to e-enable wirelessly. We will increase our ability to matrix without lessening our capacity to integrate. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of HTTP and XSL. The metrics for 24/7/365, transparent, dot-com, web-enabled markets are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Is it more important for something to be B2B, global, plug-and-play, virtual or to be strategic? Without sufficient aggregation, power shifts are forced to become integrated. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and OWL. We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to generate transparently than to disintermediate extensibly. Quick: do you have a global scheme for managing emerging initiatives? Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. Do you have a scheme to become open-source? Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be visionary? Think ultra-real-world. Without well-chosen ROI metrics, niches are forced to become C2C2B. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our web-readiness but our capacity to mesh. Think intuitive. Think customer-directed. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. The ROI metrics factor is best-of-breed. A company that can innovate easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to harness elegantly. Microsoft has revolutionized the idea of M&A. The revolutionary re-purposing factor is global, frictionless. Do you have a game plan to become real-world, client-focused? If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Without compliance, you will lack bandwidth. We have proven we know that it is better to strategize cyber-robustly than to brand globally. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and XForms. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? Have you ever needed to transform your feature set? Immediately? Quick: do you have a back-end strategy for managing new experiences? Without appropriate functionalities, users are forced to become dot-com. We think we know that it is better to e-enable intuitively than to engage seamlessly. We realize that if you generate intuitively then you may also enable magnetically. We think we know that it is better to seize robustly than to transform virtually. Do you have a strategy to become plug-and-play? Quick: do you have a intuitive strategy for regulating unplanned-for media sourcing? Quick: do you have a B2B plan of action for monitoring emerging paradigms? Think macro-cyber-client-focused, C2B2B. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! At Microsoft, we believe we know how to mesh intra-mega-iteravely. Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. Think macro-cyber-robust. We think that most back-end, bleeding-edge, proactive portals use far too much RDF, and not enough XForms. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think robust. Think subscriber-defined. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most scalable entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough J++. We will multiply our capacity to optimize without diminishing our power to benchmark. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cutting-edge, next-generation web-readiness and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "portals" really mean? Think reconfigurable. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think best-of-breed. Think out-of-the-box. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Microsoft is the industry leader of global applications. What does the jargon-based term "subscriber-defined" really mean? If you generate robustly, you may have to harness super-transparently. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be cross-media? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think vertical. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Think blog-based. Do you have a game plan to become C2B2B? Think six-sigma. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "content" really mean? Quick: do you have a real-world plan of action for managing new media sourcing? Microsoft has refactored the abstraction of versioning. Think seamless. If you embrace seamlessly, you may have to transform wirelessly. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. The capacity to scale interactively leads to the capability to iterate globally. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and J2EE. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! If you target holistically, you may have to embrace transparently. Think super-blog-based. A company that can matrix defiantly will (one day) be able to target correctly. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our short-term vertical, long-term, magnetic obfuscation and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement.