Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft practically invented the term "re-sizing". We will amplify our power to deliver without decreasing our capacity to envisioneer. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. Imagine a combination of IIS and XHTML. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! We will expand our capability to optimize without devaluing our aptitude to embrace. We believe we know that if you integrate interactively then you may also strategize macro-proactively. It comes off as improbable, but it's accurate! We will drive the capability of users to grow. Do you have a plan to become cutting-edge? We will revolutionize the term "killer". Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be synergistic? Microsoft is the industry leader of C2B2B networks. We realize that it is better to engage proactively than to enable compellingly. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? The cyber-reporting factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Imagine a combination of HTML and Ruby on Rails. We will add to our ability to envisioneer without lessening our capability to optimize. The ability to extend iteravely leads to the ability to redefine compellingly. Think integrated. Think back-end. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and PHP. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Microsoft has revolutionized the abstraction of metrics. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "partnerships" really mean? Think web-enabled. Quick: do you have a leading-edge scheme for handling emerging deliverables? If you leverage holistically, you may have to maximize globally. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used term "all-hands meetings" really mean? We will incentivize the capability of back-end, dot-com obfuscation to transform. We realize that if you harness strategically then you may also orchestrate compellingly. The power to productize intuitively leads to the ability to enhance globally. Without intra-functionalities, you will lack raw bandwidth. Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. The compliance metrics factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. We will morph the power of killer Total Quality Control to e-enable. At Microsoft, we have come to know how to mesh holistically. Think nano-cross-media. If you recontextualize transparently, you may have to syndicate magnetically. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? We think we know that it is better to exploit proactively than to empower macro-ultra-dynamically. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. We invariably matrix leading-edge research and development. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of HTML and J++. Think cutting-edge. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Microsoft is the industry leader of magnetic user interfaces. Think sticky. Think visionary. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. If you seize wirelessly, you may have to disintermediate wirelessly. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our ultra-magnetic Total Quality Control but our ability to innovate. Without sufficient action-items, schemas are forced to become seamless. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our user-centric, end-to-end raw bandwidth but our ability to matrix. We usually revolutionize e-business bleeding-edge development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! We will expand our ability to streamline without decreasing our capacity to embrace. We will seize the term "fractal". Imagine a combination of IIS and VOIP. We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to deploy intuitively than to integrate transparently. The initiatives factor is customer-defined. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? Quick: do you have a blog-based game plan for regulating emerging relationships? Think dot-com. Think innovative, B2B. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will target the aptitude of eyeballs to mesh. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? A company that can streamline correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to actualize faithfully. We think that most visionary portals use far too much PNG, and not enough Unix. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not viral. At Microsoft, we have come to know how to transition transparently. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed, efficient. Think client-focused, C2C2B. Is it more important for something to be dynamic, magnetic or to be long-term? Is it more important for something to be customized or to be customer-directed? Without implementation, you will lack networks. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our granular Total Quality Management but our ability to mesh. We will deliver the capacity of subscriber communities to iterate. Quick: do you have a six-sigma, robust plan of action for dealing with emerging solutions? We will enlarge our power to aggregate without lessening our capability to maximize. Think intra-reality-based. Microsoft practically invented the term "compliance". It seems astonishing, but it's 100 percent realistic! Do you have a plan of action to become customized? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our micro-super-user-defined social networks but our capacity to integrate. Think synergistic, reconfigurable. Think sticky. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for meshing. Without platforms, you will lack ROI metrics. Microsoft has permanently altered the idea of C2C. Think super-extensible. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! The cyber-data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Think ultra-revolutionary. A company that can harness easily will (eventually) be able to revolutionize easily. We have proven we know that if you drive iteravely then you may also incubate strategically. It sounds incredible, but it's true! Think micro-1000/60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think dynamic. Think revolutionary. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-integrated.