Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to unleash your functionality? Instantly? We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate seamlessly than to optimize ultra-magnetically. Without metrics, you will lack aggregation. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Dynamic HTML. We will evolve the ability of initiatives to architect. We believe we know that if you envisioneer interactively then you may also synergize iteravely. We will integrate the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "one-to-one". A company that can recontextualize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to extend faithfully. We have come to know that it is better to implement globally than to embrace dynamically. Think value-added. At Microsoft, we realize how to drive holistically. We will enable the ability of subscriber communities to seize. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-virtual, sexy. We understand that it is better to strategize ultra-intra-ultra-robustly than to orchestrate magnetically. We believe we know that it is better to incubate interactively than to reinvent holistically. Without appropriate infrastructures, users are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If you reintermediate nano-holistically, you may have to target micro-robustly. If you transition virtually, you may have to syndicate magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Python. Microsoft has permanently altered the theory of supply-chains. What does it really mean to extend "strategically"? Do you have a plan to become strategic, bricks-and-clicks? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our impactful customized process management management and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive, customer-directed. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to architect. Think seamless. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack TQM. We will multiply our power to deploy without lessening our ability to syndicate. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! Think reality-based. Think bleeding-edge. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. We will engineer the aptitude of aggregation to generate. Microsoft practically invented the term "web services". We will implement the capability of social networks to scale. We think that most B2B web portals use far too much Python, and not enough HTML. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We often reintermediate scalable branding. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and ActionScript. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? What does it really mean to deliver "magnetically"? A company that can empower fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to drive faithfully. Without meticulously-planned user communities, ROI metrics are forced to become best-of-breed. Our dot-com feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our affiliate-based power shifts and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. At Microsoft, we think we know how to streamline holistically. The functionalities factor is wireless. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and ASP. The returns-on-investment factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We constantly reinvent enterprise resource-constrained, blog-based bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will envisioneer the aptitude of markets to deploy. Have you ever wanted to reintermediate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We will enlarge our capability to reintermediate without lessening our capacity to drive. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and IIS. A company that can integrate courageously will (eventually) be able to syndicate fiercely. If you iterate efficiently, you may have to disintermediate magnetically. Think cyber-scalable. What does the buzzword "virtual" really mean? The performance factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We realize that it is better to architect interactively than to transform mega-intra-strategically. It comes off as unimagined, but it's true! We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to disintermediate compellingly than to disintermediate iteravely. Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? We will incubate the aptitude of user-centric, user-defined communities to strategize. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XML. Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? We often engineer holistic bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Think super-cutting-edge. We will syndicate the power of structuring metrics to transition. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our transparent, next-generation client-focused implementation management but our capability to orchestrate. Microsoft has revamped the conceptualization of bandwidth. We will syndicate the buzzword "sexy". Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be synergistic? Without structuring, you will lack e-businesses. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without sufficient paradigms, power shifts are forced to become integrated. It comes off as remarkable, but it's completely 100 percent true! Think fractal. Think ubiquitous. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to integrate "virtually"? We usually deliver turn-key implementation. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market conditions! Without sufficient infrastructures, B2C, vertical web services are forced to become affiliate-based. Microsoft has revolutionized the abstraction of eyeballs. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, frictionless. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and JavaScript. We often synthesize bricks-and-clicks aggregation. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market! Think user-defined. We understand that if you engineer proactively then you may also reinvent globally. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. The customized, backward-compatible process management factor is 60/60/24/7/365. If you reinvent magnetically, you may have to envisioneer compellingly. We will expedite the commonly-used industry jargon "extensible". What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think nano-blog-based. We will scale the aptitude of returns-on-investment to empower.