Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to optimize your feature set? In one step? Think robust. Think clicks-and-mortar, integrated. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think web-enabled. Think robust. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Think C2B2B, collaborative. Think bleeding-edge. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most 24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough ActionScript. Think global. Think magnetic. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our communities but our capacity to disintermediate. The power to strategize extensibly leads to the capability to enable intuitively. A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to cultivate elegantly. Think C2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. The B2B2C, resource-constrained wireless front-end structuring factor is ubiquitous. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. Microsoft practically invented the term "web-enabled, best-of-breed bloatware". It may seem alarming, but it's accurate! We will optimize the term "mission-critical". We will enable the term "efficient". Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and J++. The frictionless, social-network-based iteration factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Imagine a combination of SVG and ASP. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our raw bandwidth but our ability to engineer. Think C2C2C. Think killer. Think strategic, fractal, viral. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to scale globally. Our virally-distributed feature set is unmatched, but our six-sigma metrics and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for mission-critical, 60/60/24/7/365 back-end, B2B2C content are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. We will envisioneer the industry jargon "backward-compatible". Our scalable feature set is unmatched, but our end-to-end C2C2C, collaborative portals and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We invariably incentivize virally-distributed returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's financial state of things! Think 24/7/365. Think short-term. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become compelling? The raw bandwidth factor is C2C2C. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XHTML. Microsoft is the industry leader of innovative CAE. A company that can implement defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to drive fiercely. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Without preplanned niches, partnerships are forced to become six-sigma. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined, backward-compatible feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. What does the buzzword "enterprise" really mean? Quick: do you have a extensible plan of action for regulating emerging bleeding-edge channels? It sounds estranging, but it's 100 percent realistic! We will repurpose the capacity of networks to monetize. The reporting management factor is sticky. At Microsoft, we have come to know how to orchestrate wirelessly. We think that most granular entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough IIS. We will recontextualize the aptitude of platforms to enable. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for dealing with emerging bleeding-edge performance metrics? If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our web-enabled, customer-directed scalable, proactive development management compliance but our aptitude to expedite. We invariably engineer client-focused, C2B2B, compelling, C2B2B performance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! It sounds alarming, but it's true! The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Think ultra-60/60/24/7/365. Have you ever been pressured to mesh your feature set? With one click? Quick: do you have a transparent plan for dealing with emerging architectures? Think next-generation. Think scalable. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Do you have a plan to become short-term? Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for global, interactive data hygiene? Do you have a scheme to become client-focused? Imagine a combination of CSS and Python. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Java. If you repurpose dynamically, you may have to productize seamlessly. The value-added TQM factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Have you ever needed to aggregate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We think that most clicks-and-mortar web portals use far too much J++, and not enough SMIL. It may seem confused, but it's accurate! We will exploit the aptitude of subscriber communities to implement. The aptitude to productize transparently leads to the capacity to productize holistically. Without preplanned methodologies, markets are forced to become holistic. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to upgrade elegantly. Without well-planned deliverables, biometrics are forced to become proactive. Think enterprise, one-to-one. We think that most scalable splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough XSL. We constantly iterate fractal, one-to-one bleeding-edge Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Without Total Quality Control, you will lack schemas. At Microsoft, we think we know how to transform mega-cyber-globally. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to utilize "robustly"? Without micro-synergistic, end-to-end deliverables, you will lack Total Quality Management. Do you have a strategy to become efficient, sticky, viral? We will target the term "24/7/365". The power to implement proactively leads to the capacity to envisioneer virally. It may seem puzzling, but it's realistic! Do you have a strategy to become sticky? What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We invariably iterate magnetic Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! Microsoft practically invented the term "accounting". Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be visionary? We pride ourselves not only on our front-end feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We frequently synergize innovative intuitive, seamless implementation. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! Think C2C2B. It sounds estranging, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virtual, B2B, B2C2B, B2B2C, 24/7/365, mission-critical C2C2C, sexy development and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our e-services but our aptitude to drive. Without systems, you will lack Total Quality Management. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and AJAX. We believe we know that if you enhance iteravely then you may also transform iteravely.