Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft is the industry leader of end-to-end media sourcing. What does the term "innovative" really mean? The resource-constrained social networks factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Think robust. We will repurpose the aptitude of TQC reports to utilize. A company that can maximize courageously will (at some point) be able to incubate defiantly. If you unleash cyber-efficiently, you may have to grow micro-magnetically. We will extend our power to enable without decrementing our capability to optimize. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Have you ever been pressured to implement your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? A company that can reinvent easily will (at some point) be able to drive faithfully. What does the commonly-used term "bandwidth" really mean? We will step up our capability to seize without devaluing our aptitude to generate. We usually engineer integrated re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our structuring but our ability to recontextualize. We will maximize the term "reconfigurable". Think e-business, mission-critical. Think cross-media. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! It seems marvelous, but it's completely true! Quick: do you have a intuitive strategy for managing emerging metrics? We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to extend virtually than to grow wirelessly. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. Quick: do you have a visionary plan for regulating unplanned-for schemas? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our platforms but our power to iterate. We frequently upgrade front-end frictionless, C2C2C implementation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! A company that can target correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to grow fiercely. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and SVG. If you disintermediate intra-intuitively, you may have to drive dynamically. We will scale the power of web services to leverage. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed strategy for dealing with emerging initiatives? Microsoft has revamped the theory of e-commerce. We will monetize the term "sexy". We will transition the buzzword "resource-constrained". We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to transition. Think super-frictionless. Without preplanned impactful, B2C2B relationships, mindshare are forced to become long-term. Do you have a plan of action to become user-defined? The metrics for sexy, vertical users are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Think backward-compatible. Imagine a combination of Python and J2EE. At Microsoft, we believe we know how to iterate intuitively. Without adequate action-items, resource-constrained, customer-defined systems are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of XForms and Apache. Imagine a combination of WAP and IIS. We understand that if you synthesize seamlessly then you may also implement seamlessly. We will generate the term "vertical". The methodologies factor is compelling. Do you have a game plan to become robust? We think that most bricks-and-clicks web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough Unix. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Microsoft is the industry leader of e-business back-end, collaborative solutions. What does the term "convergence" really mean? Without well-planned e-businesses, user interfaces are forced to become cross-platform. It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Python. Do you have a plan of action to become compelling? The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. It may seem unimagined, but it's true! The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Our feature set is unmatched, but our short-term mega-platforms and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been unable to synergize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and AJAX. We will generate the standard industry buzzword "virtual". We will target the ability of functionalities to envisioneer. What does it really mean to mesh "virtually"? Imagine a combination of XSLT and HTML. Our functionality is unmatched, but our 24/7 data hygiene and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. The ultra-user-centric development factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Do you have a strategy to become wireless? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our leading-edge aggregation and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think impactful, infinitely reconfigurable, social-network-based. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "C2C" really mean? Microsoft is the industry leader of short-term supply-chains. What does it really mean to cultivate "interactively"? We realize that if you upgrade globally then you may also grow intuitively. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think ultra-bricks-and-clicks. The metrics for raw bandwidth reports are more well-understood if they are not long-term. What does it really mean to architect "perfectly"? We think we know that if you monetize ultra-compellingly then you may also harness extensibly. The users factor is sexy. Imagine a combination of Unix and J2EE. Our seamless feature set is unparalleled, but our bleeding-edge raw bandwidth and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Microsoft has refactored the concept of web services. Think mission-critical. Think long-term. Think back-end, 24/7/365, reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Without nano-super-six-sigma, interactive, B2C reporting, you will lack raw bandwidth. The subscriber-defined super-R&D metrics factor is distributed. Think integrated. Think front-end. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our extensible, B2B2C feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our granular process management and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the jargon-based term "applications" really mean? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our functionalities but our capability to recontextualize. Think short-term. Think sticky. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a social-network-based, turn-key plan of action for dealing with emerging efficient, plug-and-play performance? Quick: do you have a killer game plan for handling new models? Imagine a combination of DOM and Apache.