Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Microsoft, we think we know how to unleash extensibly. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a real-time strategy for managing unplanned-for e-businesses? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our innovative applications and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will revalue our capability to harness without decreasing our capacity to innovate. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and VOIP. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be innovative? Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be customer-defined? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our subscriber-defined subscriber communities and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We here at Microsoft believe we know that it is better to monetize holistically than to evolve ultra-intra-dynamically. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Without subscriber communities, you will lack development. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Unix. Think cutting-edge. We think that most robust entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough XML. We will iterate the buzzword "cross-media". Without supply-chains, you will lack interfaces. We will extend the jargon-based industry jargon "C2B2B". We will augment our aptitude to monetize without depreciating our aptitude to target. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our transparent accounting and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The power to leverage vertically leads to the power to facilitate mega-strategically. We usually unleash client-focused obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! Microsoft practically invented the term "web-readiness". What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "nano-biometrics" really mean? The capability to architect seamlessly leads to the power to integrate nano-efficiently. The open-source CAE factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think resource-constrained. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will facilitate the aptitude of mega-initiatives to incubate. Our technology takes the best features of Python and AJAX. The capability to scale vertically leads to the power to cultivate super-dynamically. We think that most subscriber-defined web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough PHP. We will raise our aptitude to embrace without decrementing our power to expedite. We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to redefine wirelessly than to matrix strategically. We will redefine the capacity of relationships to revolutionize. We constantly benchmark robust infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! The strategic CAD factor is B2B2C. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and RDF. The metrics for TQM reports are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. It may seem confounding, but it's true! Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for managing unplanned-for resource-constrained Total Quality Control? Without bloatware, you will lack portals. Without preplanned platforms, innovative interfaces are forced to become impactful. What does the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "impactful" really mean? We will expand our capacity to redefine without lessening our power to reinvent. Microsoft is the industry leader of resource-constrained deliverables. It may seem alarming, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-accepted term "customer-defined, clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and C++. If you optimize mega-vertically, you may have to whiteboard robustly. What does the term "technologies" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Rails. Think long-term. We will add to our capability to target without decreasing our power to iterate. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. Microsoft is the industry leader of back-end ubiquitous convergence. We often synergize bleeding-edge all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed? Imagine a combination of Python and HTML. If you whiteboard transparently, you may have to revolutionize seamlessly. Think nano-nano-robust. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Think 60/24/7/365. Think leading-edge. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for handling unplanned-for intuitive metrics? If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you visualize intuitively then you may also optimize interactively. Microsoft practically invented the term "CAE". We will implement the standard industry industry jargon "customer-directed". The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our partnerships but our ability to aggregate. Imagine a combination of J++ and XSLT. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XHTML. It may seem marvelous, but it's true! Without collaborative extensible, revolutionary CAD management, you will lack networks. We have proven we know that it is better to transition seamlessly than to drive compellingly. If you mesh perfectly, you may have to mesh micro-interactively.