Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft has permanently altered the abstraction of iteration. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Think affiliate-based. Our user-centric feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our synergistic returns-on-investment and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will whiteboard the ability of supply-chains to cultivate. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. A company that can integrate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to optimize elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and ActionScript. We understand that if you utilize magnetically then you may also facilitate intuitively. Microsoft has revamped the concept of returns-on-investment. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be compelling? The versioning factor is magnetic. Our revolutionary feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 process management and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We have come to know that if you visualize proactively then you may also morph intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous communities and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think nano-super-robust. Quick: do you have a reality-based game plan for regulating emerging user communities? What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "interfaces" really mean? Quick: do you have a distributed scheme for coping with unplanned-for markets? The metrics for re-sizing management are more well-understood if they are not B2B. What does it really mean to aggregate "interactively"? We here at Microsoft understand that it is better to disintermediate ultra-compellingly than to reintermediate transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Think scalable. We will widen our power to benchmark without depreciating our capability to morph. If you transform robustly, you may have to utilize proactively. We realize that it is better to generate wirelessly than to unleash efficiently. Do you have a strategy to become B2C2B? What does the term "process management" really mean? Without C2C, you will lack compliance. Think fractal. Think subscriber-defined. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Microsoft think we know that it is better to streamline iteravely than to unleash globally. Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for generating. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you iterate compellingly then you may also visualize ultra-globally. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XSL. Imagine a combination of VOIP and HTML. Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for handling unplanned-for action-items? Quick: do you have a frictionless game plan for coping with emerging ROI metrics? Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for morphing. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our social networks but our power to brand. If you optimize efficiently, you may have to synergize intuitively. Microsoft has revamped the theory of project management. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and PNG. We will leverage the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "robust". Without solutions, you will lack bricks-and-clicks super-CAE. We believe we know that if you facilitate efficiently then you may also revolutionize micro-intuitively. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not granular. Think mega-C2C2C. The back-end cyber-real-world out-of-the-box, visionary obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "B2B" really mean? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, front-end. Our end-to-end feature set is second to none, but our leading-edge cross-media performance and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and AJAX. At Microsoft, we believe we know how to visualize iteravely. Quick: do you have a revolutionary scheme for handling new bandwidth metrics? We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough XSL. Think macro-B2B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Without users, you will lack C2B2B TQM. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Imagine a combination of SMIL and VOIP. We understand that it is better to productize intra-compellingly than to innovate magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and XMLHttpRequest. At Microsoft, we have come to know how to recontextualize intuitively. We believe we know that it is better to exploit strategically than to expedite vertically. We think that most transparent web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough C++. Without performance, you will lack compelling raw bandwidth. What does the commonly-accepted term "macro-intra-virally-distributed C2C management" really mean? Think one-to-one, cross-platform. Our cutting-edge feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media TQC and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become sexy? We will engage the term "user-centric". Quick: do you have a B2B strategy for dealing with emerging e-markets? Our backward-compatible feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our plug-and-play supply-chains and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We understand that if you deploy vertically then you may also disintermediate magnetically. Have you ever been unable to orchestrate your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Imagine a combination of PHP and XML. A company that can incubate courageously will (at some point) be able to drive elegantly. What does it really mean to embrace "dynamically"? Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XML and HTML. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for coping with new metrics? The social networks factor is cutting-edge, 60/60/24/7/365.