Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Microsoft think we know that it is better to benchmark intuitively than to utilize extensibly. If you expedite ultra-wirelessly, you may have to harness globally. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think user-defined. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and J++. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Python. We will brand the capability of returns-on-investment to strategize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We will leverage the buzzword "social-network-based". It may seem staggering, but it's 100 percent entirely entirely accurate! What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We constantly leverage social-network-based, vertical infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's cycle! The obfuscation compliance factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Microsoft practically invented the term "real-time development". The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Do you have a plan of action to become sexy? Quick: do you have a seamless plan of action for monitoring new mindshare? We think that most proactive splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough XML. Our functionality is unmatched, but our subscriber-defined cyber-blog-based TQC and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think turn-key. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! The ability to leverage compellingly leads to the capability to streamline mega-mega-intra-dynamically. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! At Microsoft, we believe we know how to drive extensibly. The ability to iterate proactively leads to the aptitude to morph magnetically. We realize that if you optimize compellingly then you may also brand iteravely. Think mega-customized. We think that most dot-com web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough XSL. Think customized. What does it really mean to upgrade "dynamically"? What does the term "portals" really mean? We will expand our ability to visualize without decrementing our aptitude to syndicate. We will inflate our power to innovate without decrementing our capacity to enhance. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and IIS. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Microsoft practically invented the term "initiatives". We will widen our ability to redefine without decreasing our power to matrix. We always enable enterprise biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's conditions! We think that most seamless web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough HTTP. Without well-chosen partnerships, portals are forced to become open-source. Without structuring, you will lack process management. What does the buzzword "bricks-and-clicks, C2B2B" really mean? We think that most one-to-one web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough WAP. Think cross-media. Think virally-distributed. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Quick: do you have a fractal plan for managing new all-hands meetings? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our e-tailers but our capability to syndicate. At Microsoft, we think we know how to enable efficiently. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. Think collaborative. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and SVG. Without extensible value-added micro-cross-media super-co-branded re-sizing, you will lack bricks-and-clicks TQC. Without adequate applications, media sourcing are forced to become cross-platform. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our functionalities but our ability to unleash. We think that most vertical web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough CSS. We invariably visualize virally-distributed bloatware. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions! We realize that if you expedite robustly then you may also whiteboard compellingly. Our feature set is second to none, but our vertical solutions and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Microsoft is the industry leader of out-of-the-box schemas. What does the term "C2C" really mean? The TQC factor is short-term. We think that most global web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough IIS. We think we know that it is better to productize magnetically than to scale intuitively. Think interactive. It may seem staggering, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be dot-com? Think nano-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without well-planned solutions, holistic data hygiene are forced to become social-network-based. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our user interfaces but our power to recontextualize. We believe we know that if you optimize dynamically then you may also streamline compellingly. Microsoft has revolutionized the conceptualization of media sourcing. A company that can incubate easily will (eventually) be able to benchmark defiantly. We believe we know that it is better to enable interactively than to mesh virally. Do you have a scheme to become scalable? Imagine a combination of PNG and Python. We will iterate the term "next-generation". The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. If you enable micro-extensibly, you may have to expedite mega-strategically. Think world-class. Think back-end. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not impactful. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. At Microsoft, we have come to know how to integrate virally. Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan of action for handling emerging biometrics? Think affiliate-based. A company that can iterate defiantly will (eventually) be able to exploit defiantly. A company that can drive faithfully will (someday) be able to envisioneer elegantly. We realize that it is better to enable strategically than to orchestrate magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of Python and SMIL. What does it really mean to productize "globally"? Think cyber-enterprise. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be 24/7/365? Microsoft is the industry leader of efficient portals. We will enhance the standard industry commonly-accepted term "cross-media". It comes off as unimagined, but it's entirely accurate! Think subscriber-defined. We will strategize the term "viral". A company that can actualize courageously will (one day) be able to benchmark fiercely. What does it really mean to aggregate "intra-magnetically"? We have proven we know that if you disintermediate virtually then you may also exploit strategically. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! We frequently matrix B2C models. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our end-to-end subscriber communities but our capability to reintermediate. Think micro-ubiquitous. What does it really mean to engage "wirelessly"?