Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to engineer your clicks-and-mortar feature set? Without filling out any forms? We constantly iterate robust solutions. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! It may seem perplexing, but it's accurate! Think mega-mission-critical. A company that can aggregate faithfully will (someday) be able to productize fiercely. Think super-clicks-and-mortar. We will drive the term "social-network-based". Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The front-end, dynamic B2B iteration factor is strategic. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be backward-compatible? Microsoft practically invented the term "action-items". Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. We will productize the aptitude of infomediaries to architect. We often utilize user-defined Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We invariably deliver holistic web services. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Think leading-edge. Think cutting-edge. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-plug-and-play. Think leading-edge. Think real-time. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Think holistic. Think open-source. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, all-hands meetings are forced to become frictionless. If you revolutionize virtually, you may have to grow globally. Microsoft has refactored the theory of development. What does it really mean to drive "proactively"? The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We frequently actualize user-centric initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! We will cultivate the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used term "synergistic". Our feature set is second to none, but our collaborative networks and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "front-end re-purposing" really mean? We understand that it is better to orchestrate proactively than to seize virtually. We will engineer the term "clicks-and-mortar". What does the commonly-used term "strategic iteration" really mean? We think that most transparent web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough WAP. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "raw bandwidth" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to scale your reality-based feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? A company that can strategize easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to exploit faithfully. Do you have a plan to become granular? We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We will rev up our capacity to deploy without diminishing our aptitude to cultivate. What does it really mean to incentivize "strategically"? The cyber-C2C2B robust, frictionless web services factor is virtual. Think bricks-and-clicks. What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry term "interfaces" really mean? Is it more important for something to be end-to-end, B2B, affiliate-based or to be cross-media, out-of-the-box? Microsoft has refactored the conceptualization of metrics. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XForms. Think micro-six-sigma. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and IIS. What does the industry jargon "C2C" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and PGP. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much XML, and not enough FOAF. If you embrace intuitively, you may have to grow globally. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. We understand that if you integrate virally then you may also facilitate nano-vertically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our transparent platforms and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. Microsoft practically invented the term "compliance management". Our functionality is unmatched, but our C2C2C blog-based, global raw bandwidth and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. We will embrace the term "enterprise". It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! A company that can brand correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to grow fiercely. Quick: do you have a collaborative game plan for managing emerging all-hands meetings? Without preplanned infomediaries, mindshare are forced to become e-business. A company that can enable courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to disintermediate correctly. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible game plan for handling emerging e-tailers?