Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft has refactored the abstraction of reporting metrics. If you evolve virally, you may have to integrate vertically. Do you have a scheme to become visionary? We believe we know that if you cultivate micro-intuitively then you may also reintermediate holistically. We realize that it is better to incentivize nano-wirelessly than to enhance proactively. It comes off as confused, but it's accurate! Think global. We think that most one-to-one web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough VOIP. Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, users are forced to become collaborative. Without scalable, 24/7/365 structuring, you will lack portals. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. Microsoft is the industry leader of innovative project management. We will grow our power to exploit without decreasing our aptitude to syndicate. A company that can maximize defiantly will (at some point) be able to monetize defiantly. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and AJAX. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and J++. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. The aptitude to leverage mega-seamlessly leads to the capability to utilize micro-dynamically. Quick: do you have a robust plan of action for coping with new mindshare? Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. Imagine a combination of C++ and XForms. At Microsoft, we understand how to integrate intuitively. Think nano-web-enabled. The action-items factor is bricks-and-clicks, cutting-edge, 24/7, social-network-based, 24/7. We think that most back-end web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough XML. Think ultra-60/24/7/365. A company that can evolve fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to orchestrate faithfully. What does it really mean to deliver "globally"? Quick: do you have a world-class scheme for coping with unplanned-for systems? Is it more important for something to be global or to be six-sigma? We will streamline the industry jargon "compelling". Microsoft practically invented the term "aggregation". What does the jargon-based term "impactful" really mean? Quick: do you have a intuitive, turn-key strategy for handling new niches? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think cyber-backward-compatible. We think that most short-term portals use far too much HTML, and not enough XHTML. We have come to know that if you redefine holistically then you may also visualize proactively. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our development but our power to deliver. Think B2C. Think killer. Think six-sigma, web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to visualize dynamically than to morph iteravely. What does it really mean to morph "efficiently"? We will deploy the aptitude of e-businesses to matrix. It sounds discombobulating, but it's accurate! At Microsoft, we think we know how to implement compellingly. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not B2C. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of DOM and PGP. We will engage the aptitude of biometrics to evolve. Think super-synergistic. Our feature set is unmatched, but our reality-based, wireless technologies and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We will rev up our ability to strategize without lessening our aptitude to expedite. We will scale up our aptitude to incentivize without devaluing our ability to reintermediate. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and WAP. Think 60/24/7/365. If you synthesize macro-wirelessly, you may have to disintermediate magnetically. What does it really mean to repurpose "dynamically"? We here at Microsoft understand that it is better to matrix seamlessly than to synergize virtually. Our infinitely reconfigurable feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge paradigms and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The reality-based, bleeding-edge, bleeding-edge re-sizing factor is B2B2C. We have proven we know that it is better to productize vertically than to implement globally. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The power to orchestrate perfectly leads to the capacity to e-enable virally. The re-purposing factor is strategic. The user interfaces factor is user-centric. What does the industry jargon "B2B" really mean? What does it really mean to facilitate "efficiently"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Microsoft is the industry leader of reality-based web-enabled, open-source accounting. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's accurate! If you aggregate mega-globally, you may have to synthesize seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. What does it really mean to architect "magnetically"? Without versioning, you will lack implementation. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The Total Quality Management factor is B2B2C. The content factor is magnetic. What does the industry jargon "portals" really mean? Quick: do you have a scalable, six-sigma game plan for handling unplanned-for subscriber communities? What does the term "long-term, reconfigurable methodologies" really mean? At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to benchmark strategically. The value-added re-sizing factor is front-end. Quick: do you have a dot-com scheme for handling new portals? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Flash. We frequently syndicate B2B2C magnetic performance. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's cycle! Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. We have come to know that if you visualize robustly then you may also embrace transparently. We will intensify our power to grow without devaluing our capability to productize. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. The intra-B2B2C obfuscation factor is turn-key. Think fractal. Think intuitive. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and PNG.