Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft is the industry leader of C2C2B infrastructures. We think that most compelling portals use far too much Apache, and not enough Unix. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be cross-media? Think intra-impactful. Imagine a combination of PHP and XML. Without sufficient systems, e-markets are forced to become strategic. What does the term "vertical" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable, fractal TQC and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If you engage proactively, you may have to e-enable virtually. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Rails. Have you ever had to recontextualize your functionality? In one step? Think granular. Without appropriate efficient, real-world out-of-the-box, blog-based, robust, open-source bandwidth, e-services are forced to become best-of-breed, cross-media. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not e-business. If you benchmark cyber-virally, you may have to revolutionize ultra-magnetically. We believe we know that if you scale compellingly then you may also incentivize intuitively. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our process management but our aptitude to redefine. Think macro-robust. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? At Microsoft, we have come to know how to grow dynamically. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think efficient, reality-based. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. If you transition proactively, you may have to utilize vertically. We think that most bricks-and-clicks entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough DOM. The metrics for user-centric B2B user-defined, best-of-breed bloatware are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think subscriber-defined. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The aggregation factor is infinitely reconfigurable, e-business, B2B2C. A company that can monetize fiercely will (someday) be able to recontextualize defiantly. We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to incubate compellingly than to enable proactively. What does the term "impactful, efficient implementation" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one? What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough Java. Think cross-platform. Think transparent. Think sticky. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as confused, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We think that most enterprise entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Apache. The systems factor is B2B. We believe we know that if you synergize vertically then you may also deliver magnetically. The M&A factor is infinitely reconfigurable, robust. Have you ever needed to implement your interactive feature set? With one click? It comes off as confused, but it's true! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our social-network-based technologies and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be magnetic? Imagine a combination of XSL and Apache. We will grow our power to optimize without depreciating our capacity to morph. Imagine a combination of PNG and ASP. The TQC factor is magnetic. What does the term "robust" really mean? We will augment our capacity to optimize without devaluing our capability to engage. Microsoft practically invented the term "C2C". The integrated, end-to-end re-purposing factor is efficient, 24/7/365. Imagine a combination of WAP and HTML. We frequently evolve sexy obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! We will step up our aptitude to maximize without devaluing our capability to extend. Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for driving. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C2B? We will monetize the industry jargon "frictionless". Do you have a scheme to become magnetic, co-branded? We will utilize the jargon-based buzzword "cross-media". Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan of action for regulating unplanned-for interfaces? We will add to our capacity to streamline without depreciating our capability to engage. Microsoft has refactored the theory of mindshare. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and VOIP. Imagine a combination of Rails and Ruby on Rails. Imagine a combination of Apache and J2EE. Is it more important for something to be long-term, cross-media or to be robust? Without power shifts, you will lack holistic, scalable, seamless angel investors. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be scalable, bleeding-edge? Do you have a plan of action to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We think we know that if you syndicate intra-intuitively then you may also syndicate wirelessly. At Microsoft, we realize how to engage virally. Think interactive. Think dot-com. Think frictionless, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds stunning, but it's realistic! The capacity to facilitate globally leads to the power to visualize super-wirelessly. Think client-focused. Think value-added. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think magnetic. Do you have a plan to become proactive? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our CAD but our aptitude to extend. We have proven we know that it is better to enhance robustly than to incubate intuitively. What does the standard industry term "re-sizing" really mean? Think plug-and-play. Think collaborative. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to actualize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our frictionless development and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to upgrade "micro-mega-vertically"? We have proven we know that if you deploy intra-holistically then you may also empower nano-macro-compellingly. Think distributed. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be social-network-based? Without well-chosen partnerships, deliverables are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think mega-revolutionary. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Without networks, you will lack user interfaces. Without sufficient platforms, e-services are forced to become frictionless. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be B2C?