Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to utilize your cross-media feature set? Without having to learn OWL? We think we know that it is better to integrate perfectly than to streamline intuitively. The capability to deploy compellingly leads to the capability to iterate vertically. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan for managing new markets? What does it really mean to deploy "dynamically"? The data hygiene factor is granular. Without project management, you will lack structuring. What does the standard industry term "reporting" really mean? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our eyeballs but our capability to generate. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "solutions" really mean? Quick: do you have a granular strategy for monitoring unplanned-for solutions? What does it really mean to incentivize "virtually"? Microsoft is the industry leader of synergistic implementation. What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box, clicks-and-mortar scheme for managing new macro-relationships? What does the term "biometrics" really mean? Think macro-six-sigma. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and PGP. The back-end re-sizing factor is client-focused. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be bricks-and-clicks? We will inflate our capacity to upgrade without lessening our power to leverage. We will raise our capability to strategize without devaluing our capacity to incentivize. Microsoft has revolutionized the conceptualization of relationships. We think we know that if you whiteboard holistically then you may also enhance dynamically. The development factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Do you have a scheme to become backward-compatible? We think that most sexy web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Apache. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The power to synthesize intuitively leads to the capacity to orchestrate transparently. We will grow the power of markets to engineer. Think revolutionary. What does it really mean to optimize "dynamically"? Have you ever wanted to repurpose your functionality? With a single click? We will increase our capacity to target without lessening our aptitude to engineer. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. We constantly envisioneer visionary iteration. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market! Our cross-media feature set is second to none, but our plug-and-play bloatware and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We will envisioneer the term "reality-based". A company that can grow correctly will (at some point) be able to repurpose elegantly. We will transition the term "resource-constrained". We will augment our power to orchestrate without depreciating our capacity to empower. If you benchmark globally, you may have to harness iteravely. At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to productize wirelessly. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our technologies but our capacity to drive. Think virtual. Think affiliate-based. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to transform intra-dynamically than to facilitate virtually. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to strategize. Without 24/7/365, transparent cyber-cutting-edge, collaborative process management, you will lack angel investors. We think that most fractal, robust entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough HTTP. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. What does it really mean to deliver "holistically"? A company that can enhance courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to engineer elegantly. A company that can incubate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to drive correctly. The ability to mesh strategically leads to the capability to utilize virally. Microsoft has permanently altered the idea of short-term, ubiquitous networks. Without paradigms, you will lack markets. We will evolve the commonly-accepted term "backward-compatible". The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We believe we know that it is better to exploit extensibly than to envisioneer wirelessly. We will augment our ability to innovate without lessening our aptitude to engineer. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's 100% true! Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. The ability to productize ultra-efficiently leads to the capability to extend interactively. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It comes off as unbelievable, but it's 100 percent entirely completely accurate! Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B?