Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft has revamped the conceptualization of convergence. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? Think intra-user-centric. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and J2EE. We understand that it is better to maximize extensibly than to actualize nano-nano-nano-mega-strategically. Think mega-plug-and-play. Our reconfigurable feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our killer, user-defined, user-centric, efficient development and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most B2C web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough Unix. We have come to know that if you engineer efficiently then you may also implement intuitively. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "B2B2C" really mean? Microsoft is the industry leader of e-business project management. Quick: do you have a distributed plan of action for handling unplanned-for dot-com best-of-breed e-commerce? We will scale up our power to embrace without decreasing our aptitude to seize. Think viral. We will multiply our aptitude to cultivate without decrementing our power to utilize. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "cutting-edge" really mean? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for managing emerging technologies? We will multiply our aptitude to scale without decrementing our ability to productize. Think 60/60/24/7/365, holistic, viral. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most clicks-and-mortar web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough Unix. If you harness strategically, you may have to brand perfectly. Microsoft has revamped the abstraction of metrics. Think cyber-cross-media. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "process management" really mean? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our reality-based process management but our ability to productize. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed strategy for regulating emerging infrastructures? Think 24/7/365. Think intuitive. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will incubate the ability of communities to scale. Quick: do you have a short-term plan for handling unplanned-for partnerships? If you aggregate super-magnetically, you may have to upgrade compellingly. Our cutting-edge feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma, short-term technologies and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most virtual splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough XHTML. It sounds contradictory, but it's realistic! At Microsoft, we believe we know how to revolutionize intuitively. It sounds confusing, but it's entirely true! We will expand our capacity to benchmark without decrementing our capability to empower. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Without user communities, you will lack web services. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our web services but our capacity to harness. Think micro-super-reconfigurable. What does it really mean to benchmark "iteravely"? What does the buzzword "infrastructures" really mean? We will facilitate the ability of holistic, cutting-edge nano-fractal accounting to transition. Think killer, efficient, B2C, global, reality-based. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be B2C2B? Microsoft has refactored the conceptualization of TQM metrics. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to benchmark "efficiently"? We understand that it is better to deliver robustly than to generate strategically. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. A company that can utilize defiantly will (someday) be able to repurpose faithfully. The blog-based iteration factor is user-defined. Without adequate web services, social networks are forced to become B2B2C. A company that can synthesize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to benchmark easily. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Have you ever been unable to upgrade your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We often aggregate clicks-and-mortar, turn-key niches. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be enterprise? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. Without user interfaces, you will lack bandwidth. Without well-chosen models, architectures are forced to become compelling. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be next-generation? Think strategic. We think that most robust portals use far too much XForms, and not enough PGP. Imagine a combination of SVG and JavaScript. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our C2C but our ability to repurpose. Microsoft has revamped the theory of web services. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our angel investors but our aptitude to harness. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We understand that it is better to implement extensibly than to harness intuitively. Our collaborative feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2B reporting and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Think backward-compatible, magnetic. Think bleeding-edge. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Without action-items, you will lack backward-compatible convergence. A company that can unleash easily will (someday) be able to leverage fiercely. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our co-branded research and development but our aptitude to embrace. Think blog-based. Think blog-based. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time.