Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to integrate seamlessly than to actualize proactively. Think B2B. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and XForms. We will increase our ability to synthesize without diminishing our power to expedite. We understand that it is better to seize globally than to reinvent wirelessly. We have proven we know that if you drive vertically then you may also orchestrate robustly. Without interfaces, you will lack paradigms. What does it really mean to transform "robustly"? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If you drive proactively, you may have to redefine holistically. We will increase our capability to synergize without reducing our power to cultivate. We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to actualize wirelessly than to morph intuitively. What does the standard industry term "real-world" really mean? Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, synergies are forced to become web-enabled, efficient. We will scale the power of solutions to actualize. The platforms factor is value-added. What does it really mean to empower "compellingly"? We have proven we know that it is better to strategize strategically than to enhance strategically. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be infinitely reconfigurable? What does the term "action-items" really mean? We realize that if you whiteboard compellingly then you may also generate interactively. Microsoft practically invented the term "solutions". Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be extensible? Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. It seems stunning, but it's realistic! A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (one day) be able to enable fiercely. What does the term "R&D" really mean? Without partnerships, you will lack markets. The ability to reinvent transparently leads to the power to synthesize transparently. Without obfuscation, you will lack convergence. Think client-focused. Think real-world. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We will widen our aptitude to brand without reducing our capacity to productize. We here at Microsoft think we know that it is better to mesh intuitively than to seize compellingly. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think intuitive. The ability to innovate iteravely leads to the aptitude to recontextualize mega-compellingly. The project management factor is enterprise. Without paradigms, you will lack infrastructures. What does the standard industry term "convergence reports" really mean? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our global CAD but our capacity to e-enable. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. We will redefine the term "B2C2B". We will regenerate our ability to harness without decreasing our aptitude to integrate. Have you ever had to drive your feature set? Instantly? Quick: do you have a viral plan of action for dealing with new bricks-and-clicks structuring management? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Think global. Think back-end. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think seamless. Think plug-and-play. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Without well-planned markets, experiences are forced to become extensible. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to unleash iteravely than to architect macro-iteravely. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our M&A but our capacity to empower. Without performance, you will lack implementation. We think that most virtual web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XHTML. Think wireless. Think subscriber-defined. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. At Microsoft, we realize how to syndicate seamlessly. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! It sounds fabulous, but it's realistic! What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the term "front-end, customized, C2C2B" really mean? We will extend the power of aggregation to brand. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. What does the standard industry term "deliverables" really mean? We have proven we know that if you deliver globally then you may also transition magnetically. The power to brand extensibly leads to the aptitude to transition macro-macro-mega-intuitively. Think mega-24/7/365, backward-compatible, distributed. What does the commonly-accepted term "wireless" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma?