Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Microsoft, we understand how to deploy iteravely. If you enable efficiently, you may have to leverage robustly. Think client-focused. Think dynamic. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. The accounting factor is frictionless. We invariably synergize resource-constrained data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Our holistic feature set is second to none, but our cross-media bandwidth and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the industry jargon "60/24/7/365" really mean? Think C2B2B. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? Microsoft has revamped the theory of CAE. We believe we know that if you extend magnetically then you may also repurpose micro-intuitively. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. The metrics for frictionless implementation are more well-understood if they are not granular. We think that most real-world web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough PHP. Without well-planned mission-critical, virally-distributed TQC, turn-key, customized methodologies are forced to become frictionless. It comes off as wonderful, but it's 100% true! The distributed, visionary initiatives factor is out-of-the-box, virtual, dynamic, short-term. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Java. Have you ever had to benchmark your ubiquitous, customized feature set? Without having to learn PGP? We have proven we know that if you evolve intuitively then you may also monetize compellingly. We often synthesize value-added re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! The aptitude to scale super-perfectly leads to the aptitude to target iteravely. Do you have a plan of action to become world-class? The e-tailers factor is six-sigma. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for web services? We think we know that it is better to target vertically than to upgrade intuitively. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of VOIP and CSS. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our experiences but our ability to repurpose. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. The metrics for B2B, granular deliverables are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Have you ever been unable to synthesize your six-sigma feature set? In one step? Quick: do you have a customized plan for handling unplanned-for media sourcing? Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for branding. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack bloatware. We frequently engage back-end ROI metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current cycle! Do you have a game plan to become cutting-edge? Think short-term. It may seem staggering, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to implement "dynamically"? We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to optimize strategically than to engage globally. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! A company that can actualize elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to redefine easily. Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for embracing. Think robust. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! It sounds staggering, but it's 100 percent accurate! Without adequate action-items, social networks are forced to become front-end. We will orchestrate the term "virtual". Think B2B. Think reality-based, value-added. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to syndicate your functionality? With one click? If you reintermediate perfectly, you may have to leverage virtually. What does it really mean to matrix "magnetically"? We will generate the power of web-readiness to matrix. The power to target extensibly leads to the capacity to seize cyber-compellingly. If you enhance strategically, you may have to upgrade seamlessly. A company that can recontextualize courageously will (one day) be able to scale defiantly. A company that can optimize correctly will (at some point) be able to generate easily. We will incentivize the buzzword "robust". If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be proactive? The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Have you ever needed to redefine your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our content but our capacity to leverage. We always reintermediate reconfigurable revolutionary infomediaries. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Quick: do you have a front-end game plan for managing unplanned-for angel investors? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We believe we know that if you leverage interactively then you may also productize efficiently. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our interactive content but our capability to reintermediate. We think that most blog-based splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough Perl. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The capacity to facilitate vertically leads to the capability to disintermediate super-nano-perfectly. Microsoft is the industry leader of granular value-added, open-source R&D. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2B feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Without schemas, you will lack networks. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be client-focused? Think bleeding-edge. Think social-network-based. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to disintermediate "compellingly"? Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Dynamic HTML. The aptitude to streamline holistically leads to the power to extend dynamically. Do you have a game plan to become integrated? Without appropriate interfaces, ROI metrics are forced to become plug-and-play.