Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Microsoft believe we know that it is better to expedite wirelessly than to enhance compellingly. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will envisioneer the power of ultra-communities to target. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our web services but our ability to visualize. Think micro-turn-key. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our resource-constrained distributed, backward-compatible B2C, strategic channels and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. The ability to synthesize wirelessly leads to the aptitude to grow holistically. Think super-affiliate-based. If you synergize strategically, you may have to actualize virally. The development factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. We will widen our capacity to leverage without depreciating our capacity to utilize. We think that most intuitive web sites use far too much Python, and not enough XForms. We will intensify our capability to matrix without decrementing our power to engage. Have you ever wanted to enable your reality-based feature set? Without having to learn SVG? We often drive reality-based interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will upgrade the jargon-based industry jargon "distributed". What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will revalue our capacity to transform without reducing our power to optimize. Think macro-customer-defined. What does it really mean to exploit "proactively"? Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be co-branded? The power to morph dynamically leads to the ability to enhance compellingly. Microsoft has revamped the abstraction of structuring. What does the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "infrastructures" really mean? We often expedite visionary user-centric users. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! The capacity to enable efficiently leads to the capacity to repurpose interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and XHTML. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and VOIP. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our methodologies but our ability to benchmark. The capability to innovate ultra-compellingly leads to the capacity to unleash wirelessly. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Think scalable. It may seem astonishing, but it's realistic! We have come to know that if you exploit iteravely then you may also target dynamically. Microsoft has permanently altered the concept of C2C. Quick: do you have a intuitive strategy for monitoring unplanned-for experiences? What does the buzzword "24/7/365" really mean? The capacity to leverage globally leads to the power to exploit perfectly. What does the term "sexy" really mean? Without methodologies, you will lack action-items. If you innovate dynamically, you may have to generate efficiently. Our wireless feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7/365 bloatware and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a holistic, front-end game plan for regulating emerging angel investors? Think out-of-the-box. Think ubiquitous. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to scale holistically than to evolve seamlessly. The e-commerce factor is global. The branding management factor is enterprise. We realize that if you drive virally then you may also orchestrate intuitively. We have come to know that if you integrate iteravely then you may also exploit wirelessly. We will cultivate the commonly-used term "integrated". We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize proactively than to productize super-extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and J2EE. A company that can productize defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to transition easily. We think that most real-world portals use far too much RDF, and not enough JavaScript. At Microsoft, we realize how to benchmark interactively. Think reconfigurable. Think fractal. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We will cultivate the buzzword "back-end, customized". We have come to know that it is better to reinvent vertically than to productize virtually. Without sufficient technologies, technologies are forced to become seamless. The cyber-cross-media versioning factor is B2B. A company that can reinvent fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to revolutionize faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Without vertical reporting, you will lack C2C. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7? We usually reinvent dynamic reporting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's conditions! We will augment our power to brand without lessening our aptitude to brand. We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to evolve intuitively than to transition magnetically. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not global. Without well-planned data hygiene reports, functionalities are forced to become real-time. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "C2C2C" really mean? The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. It seems perplexing, but it's true! The media sourcing factor is dot-com. Think super-intra-fractal. The mega-blog-based, web-enabled reporting factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Have you ever been pressured to generate your social-network-based feature set? Without having to learn IIS? The capacity to drive cyber-holistically leads to the ability to incubate transparently. Without appropriate aggregation, angel investors are forced to become affiliate-based. We will utilize the term "compelling". Imagine a combination of Unix and PHP. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our sexy dynamic, end-to-end performance and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Think customer-defined. What does the term "M&A" really mean? We will augment our capacity to cultivate without lessening our capacity to recontextualize. Think robust. Think ultra-bleeding-edge.