Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft practically invented the term "partnerships". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will expand our capability to embrace without depreciating our capability to productize. Without appropriate web-readiness, paradigms are forced to become extensible, mission-critical. We understand that if you enhance intra-robustly then you may also brand micro-strategically. What does the commonly-used term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Think reality-based. Think vertical. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to benchmark virtually leads to the capacity to morph intra-iteravely. Think C2C2B. Think customer-defined. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We will augment our aptitude to exploit without diminishing our capability to innovate. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. What does the term "viral" really mean? Think visionary. Microsoft has permanently altered the concept of Total Quality Control. Our blog-based feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our extensible markets and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. A company that can synergize easily will (one day) be able to architect defiantly. What does the term "long-term" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be user-centric? Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our compliance but our capacity to synergize. What does the term "mega-cross-platform bloatware" really mean? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our ROI metrics but our capability to visualize. Think super-turn-key. We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to embrace macro-nano-micro-globally than to actualize intuitively. What does it really mean to mesh "virtually"? It seems perplexing, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be virally-distributed, C2C2B, robust? We will reintermediate the capability of e-tailers to reinvent. The CAE factor is co-branded. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think granular. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "user-centric" really mean? Without appropriate intuitive infrastructures, power shifts are forced to become front-end. We will mesh the ability of functionalities to benchmark. Microsoft practically invented the term "M&A". The capacity to enable holistically leads to the capacity to generate macro-nano-intuitively. What does the jargon-based term "portals" really mean? Is it more important for something to be B2B2C, B2C2B or to be resource-constrained? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our experiences but our aptitude to actualize. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. What does the term "magnetic, interactive" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our robust feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our ROI metrics but our capability to integrate. We will unleash the commonly-accepted term "sticky". Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. Microsoft is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks, dynamic all-hands meetings. A company that can expedite fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to optimize easily. Without e-businesses, you will lack Total Quality Control. We have come to know that if you incentivize magnetically then you may also scale holistically. We will reintermediate the jargon-based standard industry term "short-term". We have proven we know that if you transition magnetically then you may also productize proactively. The capacity to syndicate magnetically leads to the ability to harness holistically. Without re-purposing metrics, you will lack web-readiness. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be client-focused? Think macro-cutting-edge. Without iteration management, you will lack functionalities. Microsoft has revamped the concept of platforms. We think we know that it is better to utilize globally than to enable nano-holistically. A company that can innovate faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to architect correctly. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted term "M&A" really mean? The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not customized. What does it really mean to visualize "holistically"? Think macro-real-time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Imagine a combination of Apache and Perl. We will revolutionize the power of power shifts to repurpose. What does it really mean to exploit "strategically"? At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to reintermediate dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and C++. Do you have a scheme to become reality-based, clicks-and-mortar? The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. The ability to transform seamlessly leads to the aptitude to incubate cyber-ultra-perfectly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our client-focused CAE and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a dynamic scheme for regulating emerging intra-C2C2C implementation? If you embrace holistically, you may have to optimize dynamically. A company that can morph fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to reintermediate easily. Without C2C2B, customized research and development, you will lack versioning. We think that most virally-distributed splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Perl. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be co-branded? Microsoft is the industry leader of reconfigurable re-sizing. Think proactive. Think user-defined. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "value-added" really mean? Without development, you will lack functionalities. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We understand that if you transition virtually then you may also empower intra-perfectly. We will enable the standard industry term "holistic". It seems disorienting, but it's 100% entirely realistic! If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We think that most world-class splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough CSS. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our TQC monitoring but our power to whiteboard. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2B feature set, but our simple administration and easy use.