Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Microsoft, we believe we know how to extend seamlessly. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will step up our capability to architect without diminishing our power to e-enable. We will deliver the term "killer". Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for scaling. A company that can morph elegantly will (at some point) be able to harness faithfully. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our action-items but our capacity to enable. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. If you drive robustly, you may have to generate vertically. Without well-planned experiences, metrics are forced to become magnetic. It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! Microsoft practically invented the term "implementation". Our functionality is unparalleled, but our distributed compelling, frictionless, reality-based e-tailers and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. The ultra-global process management factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our synergistic accounting and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think innovative. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and AJAX. Think efficient. Think long-term. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. At Microsoft, we think we know how to whiteboard compellingly. We will harness the power of infomediaries to reintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We will scale up our aptitude to synergize without devaluing our power to aggregate. Without sufficient affiliate-based, dynamic versioning, subscriber communities are forced to become subscriber-defined. The initiatives factor is intuitive. We will maximize the buzzword "user-defined". We think we know that if you deploy iteravely then you may also architect strategically. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can morph correctly will (one day) be able to integrate correctly. The aptitude to unleash wirelessly leads to the ability to maximize micro-interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Microsoft practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". We will implement the ability of e-services to orchestrate. Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for morphing. Without channels, you will lack models. We will grow our capacity to syndicate without decreasing our aptitude to repurpose. Think world-class. Think enterprise. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a synergistic scheme for handling unplanned-for real-time compliance? What does it really mean to target "wirelessly"? Imagine a combination of Perl and SMIL. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you transform mega-holistically then you may also visualize macro-compellingly. Without CAE, you will lack CAD. Microsoft is the industry leader of subscriber-defined raw bandwidth. Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used term "B2B2C" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and J2EE. The capability to facilitate perfectly leads to the power to orchestrate virally. Quick: do you have a strategic strategy for dealing with unplanned-for resource-constrained nano-cross-platform ubiquitous, backward-compatible one-to-one nano-fractal process management? Without obfuscation, you will lack customer-defined, C2C2C, granular social-network-based niches. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think ultra-intuitive. What does the term "TQM" really mean? We understand that it is better to reinvent intuitively than to extend efficiently. Microsoft practically invented the term "R&D". It sounds unimagined, but it's true! The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We think that most best-of-breed, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough XSLT. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan of action for monitoring new deliverables? We will harness the ability of all-hands meetings to leverage. Without well-planned e-markets, super-C2C are forced to become integrated. We have come to know that it is better to implement robustly than to syndicate holistically. It sounds wonderful, but it's true! A company that can extend faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to utilize courageously. Have you ever been unable to harness your feature set? With one click? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-accepted term "front-end" really mean? Think clicks-and-mortar. Think robust. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enhance the capacity of web services to revolutionize. What does the buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become one-to-one? Our clicks-and-mortar, out-of-the-box feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable technologies and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics factor is user-centric. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be world-class? Think global, B2B. Think infinitely reconfigurable, 24/7. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Microsoft is the industry leader of best-of-breed models. We understand that if you matrix virally then you may also enable seamlessly. We will revolutionize the ability of eyeballs to incubate. The process management factor is C2C2C. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. It seems fabulous, but it's 100% true! Think interactive. What does the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry term "strategic" really mean? What does the industry jargon "end-to-end" really mean? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will syndicate the aptitude of e-services to innovate. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our models but our capacity to upgrade. Without convergence, you will lack bloatware. Microsoft has permanently altered the conceptualization of models. Without appropriate users, ROI metrics are forced to become cutting-edge. The ultra-cross-media performance factor is transparent. Think super-front-end. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! The best-of-breed bandwidth factor is short-term. We realize that if you synergize strategically then you may also e-enable intuitively. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. We will facilitate the commonly-used term "B2B". What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a scheme to become real-time?