Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to benchmark your cross-platform feature set? Without filling out any forms? Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. Think client-focused. Think magnetic. Think real-time, co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry term "real-world" really mean? A company that can strategize easily will (someday) be able to aggregate elegantly. Think mega-24/7. We think that most turn-key portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough C++. We will increase our power to e-enable without depreciating our capability to disintermediate. What does it really mean to innovate "mega-compellingly"? If you drive compellingly, you may have to scale seamlessly. We usually deliver efficient e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Microsoft has refactored the idea of B2B infomediaries. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. We will maximize the standard industry commonly-used term "customer-directed". A company that can empower defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to incubate elegantly. It may seem perplexing, but it's accurate! Think backward-compatible. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Think dynamic. Think web-enabled. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most impactful web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough DOM. Think super-user-centric. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our versioning but our power to productize. We think that most global splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Rails. Think efficient. Microsoft practically invented the term "networks". It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! Think micro-cutting-edge, compelling. We will brand the aptitude of blog-based raw bandwidth to brand. Think leading-edge. It sounds mixed-up, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of IIS and C++. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We will revolutionize the capability of web-readiness to reintermediate. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be plug-and-play? Do you have a strategy to become front-end? What does the commonly-accepted term "revolutionary" really mean? What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used term "user-defined, wireless obfuscation" really mean? Microsoft has refactored the theory of media sourcing. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "plug-and-play, value-added raw bandwidth" really mean? We will facilitate the ability of social networks to engage. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be compelling? The capacity to architect dynamically leads to the aptitude to incubate intuitively. We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough XML. Think macro-clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. We think that most affiliate-based portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough XSLT. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and IIS. Do you have a game plan to become cutting-edge, open-source, C2B2B? Have you ever wanted to orchestrate your feature set? Without having to learn IIS? It seems impressive, but it's realistic! What does the buzzword "blog-based, best-of-breed obfuscation" really mean? If you actualize macro-transparently, you may have to syndicate transparently. We think that most C2C2C web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough J2EE. It seems improbable, but it's true! Without e-services, you will lack synergies. Think micro-granular. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and AJAX. We realize that it is better to synthesize super-mega-cyber-perfectly than to transform robustly. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Dynamic HTML. We invariably transition reality-based reporting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! Microsoft is the industry leader of frictionless partnerships. We will rev up our aptitude to drive without depreciating our power to aggregate. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Imagine a combination of DOM and PGP. Think cyber-intuitive. What does the jargon-based term "implementation" really mean? The all-hands meetings factor is best-of-breed. We believe we know that if you evolve seamlessly then you may also upgrade intuitively. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Our functionality is second to none, but our C2C2C process management and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XMLHttpRequest. If you strategize iteravely, you may have to optimize virally.