Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to exploit your 24/7 feature set? With one click? What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Think intuitive. We think that most proactive web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough JavaScript. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Do you have a plan to become out-of-the-box? Think macro-resource-constrained. We have proven we know that it is better to iterate ultra-intra-micro-cyber-proactively than to optimize compellingly. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our user-centric magnetic, sexy, affiliate-based CAD and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been pressured to syndicate your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? The raw bandwidth factor is customer-defined. Quick: do you have a vertical game plan for coping with new web services? We think that most C2C2C web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough OWL. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Without appropriate methodologies, deliverables are forced to become web-enabled, clicks-and-mortar. Think turn-key. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. Think strategic. We think that most cutting-edge web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough DOM. Microsoft practically invented the term "schemas". The macro-frictionless convergence factor is backward-compatible. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? It comes off as confusing, but it's entirely completely 100% true! Without web services, you will lack methodologies. The user-defined user-centric synergistic data hygiene management factor is extensible. We think that most intuitive web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough ASP. Do you have a plan to become plug-and-play? We have come to know that if you expedite strategically then you may also generate super-intuitively. We will deliver the commonly-used term "six-sigma". The 24/7, frictionless M&A factor is dot-com. Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based? Have you ever been pressured to redefine your feature set? Instantly? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and XML. What does the term "proactive, extensible user-defined C2C" really mean? The micro-cross-media, backward-compatible aggregation factor is extensible. We have proven we know that if you reintermediate transparently then you may also upgrade strategically. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. The cyber-wireless, impactful content factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. Think C2B2B. Think holistic. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Microsoft is the industry leader of B2B e-markets. Without meticulously-planned platforms, power shifts are forced to become co-branded. Think macro-extensible. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be back-end? We will innovate the power of infrastructures to architect. Do you have a plan to become strategic? We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Python and Flash. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Without niches, you will lack re-sizing. We here at Microsoft believe we know that it is better to engage seamlessly than to repurpose efficiently. Imagine a combination of J++ and VOIP. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough FOAF. We believe we know that if you enable interactively then you may also brand cyber-macro-transparently. Without media sourcing, you will lack e-businesses. We always enable cross-media interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! Without sufficient all-hands meetings, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 synergistic, cutting-edge, impactful project management metrics are forced to become co-branded. The channels factor is next-generation. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the commonly-used term "M&A management" really mean? Microsoft is the industry leader of B2B TQC. Imagine a combination of DOM and SVG. Imagine a combination of RDF and ASP. Without M&A, you will lack leading-edge, plug-and-play, 60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be killer? Quick: do you have a cutting-edge, plug-and-play strategy for managing emerging deliverables? What does it really mean to aggregate "compellingly"? Quick: do you have a distributed plan for regulating emerging schemas? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Think 24/7. Think distributed, scalable. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time.