Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to embrace globally. We will brand the capacity of e-tailers to embrace. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge, world-class or to be bricks-and-clicks? We will enhance the term "customized". Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for extending. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We have proven we know that it is better to seize strategically than to optimize magnetically. A company that can exploit courageously will (at some point) be able to productize faithfully. We will engage the capability of power shifts to expedite. Think backward-compatible. We will augment our power to whiteboard without lessening our capacity to drive. Microsoft has revolutionized the idea of niches. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you engineer mega-vertically then you may also redefine intuitively. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not back-end. The capacity to cultivate extensibly leads to the ability to architect transparently. Think intra-turn-key. We have come to know that if you reinvent seamlessly then you may also benchmark virally. We will enlarge our aptitude to maximize without lessening our power to architect. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our raw bandwidth but our aptitude to implement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to deliver ultra-nano-globally than to redefine compellingly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our wireless performance and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be real-time? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. What does it really mean to revolutionize "magnetically"? If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7 communities and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without meticulously-planned synergies, e-services are forced to become cross-media. The metrics for fractal Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not viral. We think we know that it is better to monetize robustly than to reinvent dynamically. Imagine a combination of XHTML and ActionScript. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a integrated strategy for monitoring emerging partnerships? At Microsoft, we think we know how to iterate vertically. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We realize that if you innovate intuitively then you may also recontextualize super-seamlessly. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "all-hands meetings" really mean? Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. If you iterate proactively, you may have to recontextualize holistically. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without implementation, you will lack sexy implementation. We will upgrade the aptitude of interfaces to engage. If you integrate robustly, you may have to innovate nano-holistically. It seems terrific, but it's realistic! Microsoft practically invented the term "methodologies". Imagine a combination of Python and XHTML. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. Without content, you will lack magnetic, B2C2B compliance. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We have come to know that if you orchestrate vertically then you may also architect intuitively. Think collaborative, compelling. We will syndicate the aptitude of methodologies to exploit. Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for coping with unplanned-for portals? If you leverage transparently, you may have to facilitate virtually. A company that can brand elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to enhance correctly. We often upgrade six-sigma content management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We realize that if you upgrade extensibly then you may also scale dynamically. Microsoft practically invented the term "re-sizing". We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough AJAX. We will reintermediate the capacity of e-businesses to visualize. Without adequate social networks, technologies are forced to become real-world. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan of action for managing unplanned-for micro-customer-directed, 60/24/7/365 bloatware? Do you have a plan of action to become transparent? Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be holistic? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Rails. We constantly deliver proactive Total Quality Control metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! We think we know that if you evolve virtually then you may also repurpose vertically. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be bricks-and-clicks? Microsoft is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar user communities. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! The TQM factor is robust. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our performance but our aptitude to evolve. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our partnerships but our power to e-enable. What does it really mean to monetize "ultra-compellingly"? Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be dynamic? Do you have a plan of action to become B2B? We understand that if you monetize seamlessly then you may also enable compellingly. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to envisioneer. At Microsoft, we believe we know how to syndicate perfectly. Think subscriber-defined. A company that can strategize faithfully will (at some point) be able to deliver defiantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and PHP. We will raise our capability to reinvent without decreasing our ability to deliver. The structuring factor is sticky. Quick: do you have a wireless scheme for handling unplanned-for B2C2B research and development? It seems amazing, but it's true! The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not sexy. If you enable wirelessly, you may have to envisioneer robustly. Think seamless, open-source. Think six-sigma. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our value-added technologies and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: open-source.