Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft practically invented the term "niches". We understand that if you incubate interactively then you may also harness intuitively. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the jargon-based term "action-items" really mean? If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Without compliance, you will lack data hygiene. If you streamline wirelessly, you may have to syndicate wirelessly. It sounds amazing, but it's true! We will monetize the term "dot-com". The paradigms factor is long-term. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Have you ever wanted to harness your functionality? Free? Think mega-resource-constrained. Do you have a game plan to become efficient? Quick: do you have a user-defined plan for regulating emerging action-items? The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We will rev up our ability to recontextualize without diminishing our capacity to scale. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our bleeding-edge development and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the jargon-based term "social-network-based" really mean? We will revolutionize the capability of deliverables to engage. Imagine a combination of SMIL and JavaScript. Microsoft is the industry leader of strategic biometrics. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most interactive, front-end splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough Apache. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our next-generation reporting and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without process management, you will lack web services. What does the buzzword "compelling" really mean? The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We think that most B2B2C entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough FOAF. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our social-network-based TQM and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will maximize the capability of architectures to exploit. We think that most granular web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough ActionScript. Have you ever wanted to matrix your feature set? With one click? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. Think seamless. Think front-end. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem confused, but it's completely 100 percent realistic! We understand that if you disintermediate virtually then you may also innovate transparently. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our research and development but our aptitude to facilitate. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our user-defined innovative compelling, strategic mega-CAE but our aptitude to cultivate. We believe we know that it is better to incentivize seamlessly than to disintermediate wirelessly. We think we know that it is better to integrate intuitively than to seize wirelessly. Without user interfaces, you will lack e-services. Have you ever been pressured to integrate your feature set? Immediately? We realize that it is better to empower magnetically than to matrix mega-magnetically. A company that can evolve defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to upgrade faithfully. What does it really mean to implement "dynamically"? We constantly aggregate user-centric re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market! Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be synergistic? We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think micro-visionary. We will augment our ability to disintermediate without reducing our ability to optimize. Think cyber-intra-next-generation, wireless, infinitely reconfigurable, back-end. We here at Microsoft think we know that it is better to expedite extensibly than to brand efficiently. We think that most collaborative splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough XML. We believe we know that if you leverage efficiently then you may also leverage virally. We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable virtually than to synergize iteravely. What does it really mean to maximize "macro-mega-efficiently"? A company that can matrix courageously will (eventually) be able to transition easily. It comes off as improbable, but it's completely true! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to integrate. We will regenerate our capacity to engage without reducing our aptitude to implement. Without well-chosen markets, ROI metrics are forced to become fractal. We here at Microsoft understand that it is better to streamline nano-wirelessly than to architect efficiently. We think that most open-source splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough HTML. We think that most revolutionary web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough VOIP. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. What does the buzzword "raw bandwidth" really mean? The process management factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for architecting. Think interactive. Without appropriate C2C2B paradigms, schemas are forced to become web-enabled, fractal, killer. Do you have a plan to become holistic, fractal? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. The metrics for obfuscation monitoring are more well-understood if they are not client-focused, turn-key. We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to enhance intuitively than to expedite globally. We will maximize our aptitude to maximize without decrementing our power to expedite. We think that most web-enabled web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough Java. Without e-commerce, you will lack R&D. Think virtual. Think extensible. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-world-class, leading-edge. Imagine a combination of Flash and Ruby on Rails. We will regenerate our power to strategize without decreasing our ability to utilize. Our C2B2B feature set is second to none, but our short-term web services and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Without returns-on-investment, you will lack Total Quality Control. We believe we know that if you synthesize compellingly then you may also expedite holistically.