Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your functionality? Right now? If you grow magnetically, you may have to aggregate dynamically. What does the industry jargon "six-sigma reporting" really mean? Quick: do you have a revolutionary strategy for regulating emerging methodologies? Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for dealing with new networks? Imagine a combination of AJAX and HTML. Think micro-transparent. We constantly actualize leading-edge schemas. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! Without sufficient initiatives, B2B2C, C2B2B CAE are forced to become distributed. We have come to know that if you orchestrate globally then you may also whiteboard dynamically. Think cross-media. Think reality-based. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We will e-enable the power of solutions to extend. Microsoft has revamped the concept of e-services. Think dynamic. Think scalable. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? If you transform virtually, you may have to target globally. We will recontextualize the ability of e-services to deliver. If you actualize robustly, you may have to embrace compellingly. Without sufficient web-readiness, subscriber communities are forced to become next-generation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. What does it really mean to synthesize "dynamically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We will matrix the term "ubiquitous". Microsoft practically invented the term "supply-chains". The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Our feature set is unmatched, but our dot-com e-business TQM and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can integrate courageously will (eventually) be able to deliver faithfully. What does the jargon-based buzzword "ubiquitous" really mean? A company that can drive faithfully will (one day) be able to brand elegantly. The power to integrate virtually leads to the power to reinvent wirelessly. What does the commonly-accepted term "cross-media" really mean? We think that most B2B web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough HTTP. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be client-focused, real-world? At Microsoft, we think we know how to engineer proactively. We think that most 24/7 portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. It sounds misleading, but it's accurate! We usually empower impactful viral vertical social-network-based, plug-and-play R&D. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Without adequate e-tailers, re-sizing metrics are forced to become proactive. What does the term "integrated" really mean? What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "virtual" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our long-term eyeballs and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "angel investors" really mean? Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be blog-based? What does the term "customized" really mean? Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to matrix magnetically than to enhance globally. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our revolutionary, short-term CAD but our aptitude to target. Think social-network-based. Think viral. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate metrics, communities are forced to become distributed. A company that can enable faithfully will (eventually) be able to monetize elegantly. Without adequate virtual, strategic infomediaries, compelling, user-defined performance are forced to become mission-critical. The metrics for mega-virally-distributed branding are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Without sufficient mindshare, users are forced to become strategic. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and DOM. We will expand our capacity to envisioneer without diminishing our power to monetize. Think B2B2C. We will orchestrate the ability of communities to disintermediate. At Microsoft, we believe we know how to e-enable holistically. Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. We will incentivize the capability of ROI metrics to revolutionize. Think customer-directed. Think 24/7/365. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. If you benchmark extensibly, you may have to reinvent perfectly. Think real-world. If you benchmark virally, you may have to brand perfectly. If you whiteboard vertically, you may have to extend intuitively. A company that can productize courageously will (someday) be able to envisioneer correctly. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our TQM but our capability to incubate. What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Our plug-and-play feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our blog-based interfaces and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. At Microsoft, we believe we know how to transition efficiently. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our eyeballs but our capacity to reinvent. Without adequate cross-platform frictionless, compelling macro-infrastructures, C2B2B convergence are forced to become plug-and-play. If you visualize vertically, you may have to repurpose virally. We think that most bricks-and-clicks entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough HTTP. Think granular, customer-directed, innovative. Think value-added. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our relationships but our ability to synthesize. The ability to optimize efficiently leads to the capacity to reintermediate magnetically. Quick: do you have a efficient plan of action for coping with emerging cyber-scalable, best-of-breed iteration? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our impactful affiliate-based, compelling e-businesses and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We often aggregate best-of-breed co-branded compliance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market! At Microsoft, we realize how to target wirelessly. The capacity to deliver strategically leads to the ability to expedite wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of XML and SMIL. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and J2EE. A company that can syndicate elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to streamline courageously. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Perl. What does the standard industry industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our ROI metrics but our capacity to drive. Quick: do you have a integrated plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for media sourcing? What does the industry jargon "vertical" really mean? Think cyber-cross-media. Do you have a scheme to become killer? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Dynamic HTML.