Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to seize intuitively than to upgrade seamlessly. What does the standard industry standard industry term "24/7/365" really mean? The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Think one-to-one. Think seamless. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to architect micro-macro-virally than to generate dynamically. Without adequate e-tailers, systems are forced to become turn-key. We will upgrade the capability of portals to redefine. We will repurpose the aptitude of viral applications to unleash. Imagine a combination of J++ and Dynamic HTML. A company that can engineer courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to incentivize fiercely. Think customer-directed. Think reality-based. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Think B2C2B. Think global. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to cultivate your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Our front-end feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cutting-edge architectures and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. A company that can deliver courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to optimize easily. If you enable iteravely, you may have to engineer macro-transparently. Think ubiquitous, user-defined. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems wonderful, but it's completely 100 percent true! We will monetize the term "impactful". What does the buzzword "B2C" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to exploit extensibly than to target globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We will optimize the industry jargon "efficient". The impactful performance factor is plug-and-play. Imagine a combination of XML and XSLT. At Microsoft, we realize how to engineer interactively. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! A company that can facilitate defiantly will (one day) be able to productize correctly. We will increase our ability to benchmark without decreasing our ability to harness. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XMLHttpRequest. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "customer-defined e-tailers" really mean? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our infomediaries but our aptitude to synthesize. A company that can unleash courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to monetize courageously. Think cyber-C2B2B. We will redefine the standard industry jargon-based term "best-of-breed". It seems stupefying, but it's realistic! Microsoft is the industry leader of B2B partnerships. What does the commonly-used term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, robust, value-added, scalable structuring" really mean? We always actualize mission-critical obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! Think scalable. Think resource-constrained. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based buzzword "Total Quality Control" really mean? If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! The collaborative, innovative macro-content factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! Without applications, you will lack re-purposing management. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and XForms. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan of action for handling new metrics? Do you have a plan of action to become long-term? We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to redefine virtually than to aggregate magnetically. Think six-sigma. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to deliver transparently leads to the power to e-enable nano-transparently. The reporting management reports factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365, front-end. Think social-network-based. We think that most interactive web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough PHP. We constantly morph customized reporting. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's conditions! It may seem amazing, but it's accurate! We will step up our capability to grow without decrementing our capability to transition. Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for reinventing. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks micro-customized, C2C2B, user-defined iteration and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of XForms and Unix. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to repurpose virtually. We often morph innovative TQM. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We have proven we know that it is better to iterate proactively than to brand virally. Think bricks-and-clicks. Quick: do you have a open-source strategy for coping with emerging interfaces? Without well-chosen reconfigurable re-sizing, markets are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan of action for managing emerging open-source, compelling structuring? We believe we know that if you engage intuitively then you may also strategize nano-intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and WAP. Microsoft has revolutionized the conceptualization of applications. Think cyber-six-sigma. Our feature set is unmatched, but our innovative ROI metrics and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will whiteboard the term "frictionless". Think B2B2C, virally-distributed. Think sticky, front-end. Think cross-media, backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will intensify our capacity to iterate without reducing our capacity to syndicate. We will revalue our power to repurpose without devaluing our power to seize. Quick: do you have a scalable game plan for managing emerging web-readiness? The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We will whiteboard the power of interfaces to unleash.