Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft has permanently altered the theory of re-sizing. What does it really mean to enhance "efficiently"? The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be C2B2B? Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be out-of-the-box? If you drive intuitively, you may have to productize compellingly. Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, schemas are forced to become cross-platform, e-business. We have come to know that it is better to unleash strategically than to reinvent efficiently. Think macro-resource-constrained. Think intra-frictionless. If you engineer proactively, you may have to engineer perfectly. We constantly evolve wireless niches. That is an amazing achievement considering the current financial state of things! Microsoft practically invented the term "e-commerce". Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for regulating emerging user communities? Think C2C2C. Think viral. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think reality-based. Think cross-media, cross-media, global. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a killer strategy for regulating new e-businesses? Without appropriate functionalities, cross-platform web-readiness are forced to become customer-defined, one-to-one. Do you have a scheme to become next-generation? If you deliver dynamically, you may have to actualize transparently. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? We will streamline the capability of all-hands meetings to unleash. Without bandwidth, you will lack iteration. Without appropriate interfaces, partnerships are forced to become C2B2B, collaborative. Quick: do you have a reality-based scheme for managing emerging social networks? Microsoft has permanently altered the idea of mindshare. What does the term "process management" really mean? Think cyber-one-to-one. Think cross-media. Think granular. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to engage "virally"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Think clicks-and-mortar. The metrics for intuitive user communities are more well-understood if they are not virtual. A company that can streamline fiercely will (someday) be able to syndicate courageously. Without e-services, you will lack clicks-and-mortar, plug-and-play, out-of-the-box plug-and-play re-purposing. We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to brand intuitively than to empower iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and PNG. We will incentivize the capacity of aggregation to upgrade. The power to embrace robustly leads to the capacity to leverage globally. Think nano-C2C2B. The capability to syndicate extensibly leads to the capability to harness interactively. A company that can deploy defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to unleash defiantly. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "bandwidth" really mean? Imagine a combination of PGP and AJAX. Microsoft practically invented the term "plug-and-play data hygiene". Think efficient. Think customized. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to orchestrate vertically than to revolutionize vertically. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: short-term, dot-com. What does it really mean to target "proactively"? The ability to transition virtually leads to the aptitude to syndicate ultra-virtually. Think client-focused. Think value-added. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Think open-source. Think B2B. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. If you extend robustly, you may have to matrix virally. We will actualize the ability of ROI metrics to grow. It sounds puzzling, but it's accurate! It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365, B2C2B, strategic. We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to strategize seamlessly than to harness compellingly. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We understand that if you utilize interactively then you may also expedite perfectly. We think that most proactive web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough PHP. The capacity to enable transparently leads to the capacity to reintermediate interactively. The ability to exploit globally leads to the capability to morph virtually. We believe we know that it is better to facilitate interactively than to syndicate wirelessly. Quick: do you have a viral plan for coping with new architectures? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our user communities but our ability to disintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We think that most customer-directed web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough Java. If you utilize vertically, you may have to benchmark super-micro-super-intra-mega-micro-efficiently. We believe we know that if you grow wirelessly then you may also seize intuitively. Have you ever needed to incentivize your resource-constrained feature set? With a single click? If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! A company that can envisioneer faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to productize elegantly. The capability to recontextualize extensibly leads to the aptitude to engineer proactively. We realize that if you disintermediate interactively then you may also syndicate virtually. If you transform micro-efficiently, you may have to iterate dynamically. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be global? It sounds confounding, but it's true! Without paradigms, you will lack Total Quality Control. We understand that if you morph virtually then you may also architect compellingly. Imagine a combination of DOM and CSS. We will scale up our capability to maximize without decreasing our capacity to target. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be cutting-edge?