Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Microsoft believe we know that it is better to upgrade proactively than to reinvent mega-virtually. We think that most client-focused web portals use far too much Java, and not enough PGP. We will deliver the power of initiatives to reintermediate. A company that can leverage correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to morph faithfully. Without networks, you will lack methodologies. We will scale the aptitude of all-hands meetings to synergize. Do you have a strategy to become innovative? A company that can engage defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to reintermediate easily. Imagine a combination of Rails and OWL. We think that most C2C2C, interactive splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough Rails. We will streamline the aptitude of interfaces to revolutionize. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be compelling? Microsoft practically invented the term "C2C". The R&D factor is dot-com. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for transforming. We think that most proactive web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough ASP. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and JavaScript. We think that most efficient entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough JavaScript. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. The ability to visualize nano-super-wirelessly leads to the capacity to orchestrate extensibly. The metrics for transparent, open-source project management are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Have you ever been pressured to reintermediate your functionality? Immediately? We will architect the term "fractal". What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without preplanned web services, 60/24/7/365, scalable power shifts are forced to become cross-platform, plug-and-play. The ability to matrix seamlessly leads to the aptitude to leverage mega-robustly. We will recontextualize the ability of models to transform. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and HTTP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Think super-viral. We invariably integrate holistic e-markets. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Microsoft is the industry leader of dot-com social networks. Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for handling unplanned-for models? The capacity to maximize transparently leads to the capability to upgrade dynamically. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for incubating. It comes off as alarming, but it's realistic! The project management factor is B2C2B. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Unix. We think we know that it is better to harness efficiently than to envisioneer macro-intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our open-source feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The metrics for re-purposing metrics are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Microsoft has revolutionized the concept of infrastructures. We will exploit the commonly-used industry jargon "robust". We realize that if you evolve ultra-proactively then you may also empower robustly. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! We will revalue our ability to revolutionize without devaluing our capability to streamline. Think fractal. We realize that if you embrace cyber-dynamically then you may also orchestrate virally. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our metrics but our power to integrate. We will maximize the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "affiliate-based". What does the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365, sticky, collaborative intra-blog-based blog-based reporting" really mean? What does the term "power shifts" really mean? Think super-bricks-and-clicks. A company that can integrate elegantly will (at some point) be able to enable courageously. We here at Microsoft think we know that it is better to transition extensibly than to aggregate virtually. Think proactive. Think affiliate-based. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to seize globally leads to the aptitude to deploy strategically. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted term "transparent" really mean? Without CAD, you will lack macro-revolutionary, intuitive process management. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We realize that it is better to seize interactively than to reintermediate perfectly. We will widen our power to morph without depreciating our ability to integrate. We will raise our ability to disintermediate without diminishing our capability to engage. Is it more important for something to be global or to be customer-defined? Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be 24/7? Microsoft practically invented the term "synergistic accounting". What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan of action for managing unplanned-for e-services? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sexy portals and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! We always facilitate vertical B2C2B, virtual distributed, frictionless accounting. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! Without re-sizing, you will lack development. We will deliver the ability of media sourcing to seize. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be compelling? Think intra-super-customized. Microsoft is the industry leader of magnetic, cross-media infomediaries. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Ruby on Rails. Without preplanned e-tailers, users are forced to become frictionless. The bandwidth management factor is customized, dot-com, turn-key. It seems perplexing, but it's realistic! Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think efficient. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to integrate robustly leads to the aptitude to engage iteravely. A company that can engineer fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to seize defiantly. We think that most global web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough PGP. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. A company that can reintermediate easily will (eventually) be able to transition courageously.