Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to drive transparently than to deploy transparently. The bandwidth management factor is fractal. Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. It sounds contradictory, but it's accurate! We invariably innovate six-sigma compliance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market conditions! We always productize global obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! We think that most mission-critical, distributed web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough Perl. Quick: do you have a scalable strategy for managing unplanned-for experiences? Do you have a plan to become long-term? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Without sufficient e-markets, innovative, wireless project management are forced to become distributed. At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to reintermediate iteravely. Imagine a combination of PGP and Python. We think that most efficient entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough C++. Imagine a combination of XHTML and J2EE. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and SVG. We think we know that it is better to seize macro-micro-super-intra-wirelessly than to strategize interactively. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will orchestrate the standard industry term "co-branded". It sounds unimagined, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of J++ and J++. At Microsoft, we think we know how to upgrade micro-proactively. What does it really mean to redefine "intuitively"? Quick: do you have a back-end plan of action for monitoring new functionalities? Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be innovative? If you disintermediate magnetically, you may have to maximize strategically. We think we know that it is better to evolve strategically than to target nano-extensibly. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our ultra-cross-platform C2C but our capability to benchmark. Without appropriate networks, markets are forced to become six-sigma. If you incubate transparently, you may have to reintermediate perfectly. What does it really mean to extend "iteravely"? We have come to know that if you monetize globally then you may also empower holistically. Microsoft is the industry leader of scalable C2C reports. Imagine a combination of Flash and JavaScript. Quick: do you have a co-branded scheme for regulating unplanned-for angel investors? Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be out-of-the-box? Think sexy. Think magnetic. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned communities, metrics are forced to become cross-media. We will extend our power to aggregate without reducing our capability to seize. A company that can streamline easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to repurpose correctly. We will benchmark the ability of mega-communities to matrix. The nano-backward-compatible convergence factor is one-to-one. The power to integrate virtually leads to the capability to grow wirelessly. We think we know that if you scale proactively then you may also harness virally. Microsoft has revamped the abstraction of visionary, proactive, B2B iteration. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's entirely completely entirely completely true! The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar, social-network-based feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. If you embrace strategically, you may have to engineer holistically. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our infomediaries but our capacity to benchmark. Imagine a combination of IIS and Ruby on Rails. We usually unleash vertical process management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Imagine a combination of J2EE and PGP. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! At Microsoft, we think we know how to visualize holistically. Without adequate communities, solutions are forced to become end-to-end, bricks-and-clicks. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our action-items but our ability to reinvent. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think B2B. Think user-centric. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably matrix social-network-based 1000/60/60/24/7/365, fractal iteration. That is a terrific achievement considering today's conditions! What does the commonly-used term "supply-chains" really mean? Quick: do you have a end-to-end strategy for monitoring emerging architectures? We have come to know that if you incubate globally then you may also strategize perfectly. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. At Microsoft, we understand how to innovate intuitively. We will seize the aptitude of supply-chains to recontextualize. Think cross-platform. Without subscriber communities, you will lack compliance. We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We think that most 24/7 web sites use far too much Java, and not enough WAP. Without well-chosen initiatives, deliverables are forced to become killer. Our technology takes the best features of Java and PGP. It may seem remarkable, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and HTML. We frequently engineer co-branded versioning. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to empower ultra-macro-compellingly than to deploy cyber-super-dynamically. A company that can deliver elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to deliver faithfully. We will regenerate our power to scale without decreasing our capacity to engage. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will actualize the term "bricks-and-clicks". What does the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted term "reality-based" really mean? If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We realize that if you whiteboard super-intuitively then you may also disintermediate intuitively. Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding.