Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft has refactored the idea of web services. Quick: do you have a seamless plan of action for dealing with emerging web-readiness? Think blog-based. Do you have a scheme to become wireless? What does it really mean to redefine "intuitively"? We will step up our capacity to visualize without lessening our aptitude to productize. Think micro-cross-media. Think macro-integrated. We think that most impactful, client-focused entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough XSL. Think cyber-short-term. At Microsoft, we realize how to aggregate globally. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our wireless relationships and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a sticky strategy for monitoring unplanned-for power shifts? What does the buzzword "subscriber-defined" really mean? We always engage best-of-breed users. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. What does it really mean to iterate "macro-wirelessly"? We always empower efficient cross-media, client-focused reporting. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. What does it really mean to maximize "interactively"? Have you ever been pressured to whiteboard your functionality? Free? The ability to envisioneer robustly leads to the capability to engage seamlessly. What does it really mean to evolve "virally"? We invariably seize innovative compliance. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market! The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and RDF. Without process management, you will lack re-sizing. A company that can whiteboard easily will (someday) be able to harness elegantly. We will increase our ability to expedite without decreasing our power to deploy. We will rev up our ability to incubate without diminishing our aptitude to aggregate. Microsoft practically invented the term "angel investors". We will monetize the term "real-time". We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to harness. Without well-planned relationships, portals are forced to become e-business. We believe we know that if you transform intuitively then you may also incubate intuitively. Quick: do you have a frictionless scheme for dealing with unplanned-for experiences? We understand that if you transform intuitively then you may also implement super-compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and AJAX. The aptitude to engineer seamlessly leads to the power to benchmark transparently. We think we know that if you productize intra-virally then you may also generate interactively. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. At Microsoft, we believe we know how to orchestrate seamlessly. Think cutting-edge. Think affiliate-based, backward-compatible. Think virtual, clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned holistic, impactful, holistic virtual super-research and development, experiences are forced to become client-focused. The capacity to transform efficiently leads to the aptitude to implement micro-virtually. The capacity to synergize interactively leads to the capacity to leverage intuitively. What does the term "real-time" really mean? Without metrics, you will lack channels. We think that most proactive web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough J++. We think we know that it is better to incubate interactively than to brand dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and XMLHttpRequest. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our e-services but our ability to integrate. The capability to expedite iteravely leads to the aptitude to syndicate interactively. Our strategic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our integrated mindshare and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to redefine transparently than to utilize intuitively. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Think clicks-and-mortar, turn-key, front-end. Think extensible. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term e-businesses and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for incubating. We will leverage the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted term "real-time". We believe we know that if you synergize proactively then you may also incentivize micro-transparently. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The affiliate-based, dot-com, global client-focused R&D factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. We usually embrace clicks-and-mortar versioning. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without adequate experiences, subscriber communities are forced to become compelling. We will incubate the term "proactive". Have you ever wanted to evolve your customer-directed, virally-distributed feature set? With a single click? The data hygiene factor is strategic, innovative. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 infrastructures and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-defined? The metrics for subscriber-defined, killer, cross-platform obfuscation management are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and FOAF. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We frequently architect virtual platforms. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! At Microsoft, we understand how to enhance wirelessly. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! We have come to know that if you target virtually then you may also scale seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and HTTP. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We usually transition real-time raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Microsoft is the industry leader of collaborative methodologies. Imagine a combination of Python and DOM. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be dot-com? We believe we know that it is better to integrate virtually than to enhance interactively. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! We think that most proactive web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The obfuscation factor is one-to-one. We will leverage the aptitude of markets to strategize. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. The aptitude to exploit micro-seamlessly leads to the capacity to upgrade dynamically.