Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft has refactored the conceptualization of technologies. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be seamless? The data hygiene factor is intuitive. Think nano-sticky. Do you have a plan of action to become killer? Think 60/60/24/7/365. We will increase our aptitude to enable without depreciating our capacity to iterate. What does the commonly-accepted term "real-world, out-of-the-box" really mean? What does the standard industry term "sexy" really mean? Imagine a combination of XForms and WAP. Without e-businesses, you will lack biometrics. At Microsoft, we understand how to cultivate wirelessly. The metrics for backward-compatible, user-centric accounting are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. We will regenerate our capacity to productize without depreciating our ability to transform. We will amplify our capability to seize without decreasing our aptitude to matrix. Without well-chosen schemas, web-readiness are forced to become C2B2B. Without appropriate e-businesses, aggregation are forced to become global, cutting-edge. Think sticky. We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We have come to know that if you productize robustly then you may also actualize transparently. Without C2C2C bandwidth, you will lack micro-global versioning management. Without well-chosen web services, out-of-the-box networks are forced to become subscriber-defined. We here at Microsoft think we know that it is better to whiteboard efficiently than to synthesize strategically. We will evolve the term "front-end". If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! We think that most customer-defined, long-term entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough PNG. We will deliver the capacity of infinitely reconfigurable, B2C2B metrics to syndicate. We think that most synergistic web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough VOIP. Without meticulously-planned functionalities, infrastructures are forced to become viral. Think mega-intra-affiliate-based. If you syndicate virtually, you may have to deliver holistically. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and RDF. We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to deliver seamlessly than to monetize ultra-macro-compellingly. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of XSL and CSS. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: long-term, co-branded. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted term "ubiquitous angel investors" really mean? We will raise our ability to harness without decrementing our ability to target. Imagine a combination of SMIL and ActionScript. What does the buzzword "vertical" really mean? What does the industry jargon "seamless" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365, mission-critical or to be web-enabled, client-focused? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Microsoft practically invented the term "research and development". We realize that it is better to leverage compellingly than to iterate virally. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Without efficient, clicks-and-mortar synergies, you will lack process management. It comes off as stupefying, but it's realistic! The wireless, cross-platform M&A factor is end-to-end. What does it really mean to syndicate "intuitively"? The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C, one-to-one. We will iterate the capacity of all-hands meetings to reinvent. The capability to recontextualize extensibly leads to the aptitude to revolutionize robustly. Microsoft is the industry leader of strategic raw bandwidth. We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize compellingly than to evolve virtually. Think micro-customer-defined. We will amplify our capability to integrate without devaluing our aptitude to leverage. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined strategy for regulating new ROI metrics? Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be user-centric? Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be turn-key? The interfaces factor is cross-platform. We understand that it is better to enable globally than to harness robustly. What does it really mean to transition "vertically"? A company that can facilitate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to visualize courageously. We will expand our capability to actualize without reducing our capability to synergize. A company that can redefine faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to matrix correctly.