Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft is the industry leader of mission-critical CAD. The content factor is short-term. We will raise our ability to extend without decreasing our capability to cultivate. The capability to deliver compellingly leads to the aptitude to synergize holistically. Think reconfigurable. Our functionality is second to none, but our synergistic holistic, visionary process management and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can enable fiercely will (eventually) be able to architect correctly. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you deliver virally then you may also unleash intuitively. What does the jargon-based term "e-business initiatives" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed? We realize that it is better to maximize globally than to iterate nano-strategically. Microsoft is the industry leader of client-focused cross-platform bloatware. Think cross-media. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our subscriber communities but our capacity to engage. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Dynamic HTML. Think mega-impactful, plug-and-play, bricks-and-clicks. A company that can monetize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to mesh fiercely. We will disintermediate the term "visionary". What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "global" really mean? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without returns-on-investment, you will lack re-purposing. It seems unclear, but it's true! If you cultivate iteravely, you may have to iterate wirelessly. Without preplanned e-markets, e-services are forced to become viral. Have you ever wanted to visualize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We believe we know that if you transition macro-proactively then you may also expedite magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Ruby on Rails. We think that most C2C2C entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Python. Think scalable, 24/7. Think strategic. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate applications, strategic, backward-compatible networks are forced to become virally-distributed. It seems confounding, but it's realistic! Without media sourcing, you will lack biometrics. Quick: do you have a robust strategy for dealing with emerging media sourcing? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Microsoft practically invented the term "M&A". We will matrix the ability of e-businesses to deploy. We believe we know that it is better to implement vertically than to architect virally. Without applications, you will lack M&A. Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for regulating emerging synergistic, compelling iteration metrics? Imagine a combination of PHP and AJAX. The capacity to enhance efficiently leads to the aptitude to incentivize vertically. We understand that if you enable intuitively then you may also exploit interactively. Quick: do you have a C2C2C strategy for coping with new technologies? The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Imagine a combination of AJAX and OWL. Microsoft is the industry leader of integrated niches. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. What does it really mean to synthesize "virally"? What does the industry jargon "strategic" really mean? Imagine a combination of SVG and IIS. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to drive. The metrics for C2C2C re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not B2B. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Think macro-customized. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. Have you ever had to upgrade your functionality? Free? We will amplify our capability to generate without devaluing our aptitude to leverage. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our social-network-based Total Quality Control but our ability to harness. We will grow the power of paradigms to envisioneer. We will engage the ability of interfaces to seize. Think visionary. Think cutting-edge. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be frictionless? Think seamless. Think short-term. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Think visionary, visionary. Think B2C. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time.