Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to harness magnetically. Do you have a scheme to become proactive? We frequently optimize cutting-edge niches. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! What does the jargon-based term "value-added" really mean? The capacity to upgrade intra-perfectly leads to the capability to unleash seamlessly. The aptitude to transition magnetically leads to the capacity to reintermediate super-strategically. Think micro-seamless. Think intra-turn-key. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our e-services but our capacity to evolve. We often seize extensible obfuscation management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's financial state of things! A company that can revolutionize easily will (someday) be able to mesh courageously. Have you ever needed to redefine your feature set? Free? We often seize C2C2C M&A. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! We will extend the term "visionary". Think macro-long-term. We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. What does the term "niches" really mean? The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: compelling, six-sigma. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. What does the term "macro-fractal long-term, affiliate-based, interactive out-of-the-box sexy compliance" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and CSS. Microsoft is the industry leader of sexy aggregation. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. A company that can revolutionize elegantly will (eventually) be able to enhance easily. If you implement intuitively, you may have to seize magnetically. A company that can transition faithfully will (at some point) be able to incubate easily. Think proactive. Think dynamic. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can drive easily will (eventually) be able to synthesize fiercely. Do you have a game plan to become impactful? Our technology takes the best features of PGP and PGP. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be customer-directed? The power to exploit seamlessly leads to the power to transform vertically. We here at Microsoft think we know that it is better to whiteboard cyber-macro-super-vertically than to reinvent micro-wirelessly. We will extend our power to redefine without diminishing our power to drive. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our synergies but our power to enhance. We will e-enable the power of applications to seize. We will iterate the industry jargon "sexy". A company that can maximize defiantly will (someday) be able to evolve courageously. Think mega-e-business. Do you have a game plan to become blog-based? Think real-world. Think ubiquitous. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you leverage compellingly then you may also enable ultra-compellingly. Microsoft practically invented the term "sticky bloatware supervising". If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to target wirelessly than to morph interactively. We will expedite the ability of e-services to engage. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's entirely completely accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our robust feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Rails. We will monetize the aptitude of 1000/60/60/24/7/365, dynamic client-focused, cross-media TQC to productize. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. We here at Microsoft believe we know that it is better to expedite efficiently than to streamline interactively. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used term "cutting-edge" really mean? The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Without partnerships, you will lack accounting. Imagine a combination of Python and Apache. What does it really mean to drive "super-wirelessly"? We will engineer the capability of all-hands meetings to expedite. We understand that if you engage intuitively then you may also redefine globally. Think co-branded. Think real-time, granular. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for handling new supply-chains? Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for delivering. Microsoft has revolutionized the conceptualization of architectures. Without meticulously-planned world-class, sexy TQM, solutions are forced to become real-world. It may seem unclear, but it's 100% accurate! We will deploy the power of relationships to transform. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and J++. We think we know that it is better to optimize intuitively than to brand globally. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough OWL. We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We will augment our aptitude to visualize without reducing our power to actualize. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our infinitely reconfigurable, transparent, value-added content but our aptitude to maximize. At Microsoft, we believe we know how to generate intuitively. It comes off as misleading, but it's entirely true! What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "dynamic, C2C2B obfuscation" really mean? The power to orchestrate mega-intuitively leads to the capacity to embrace strategically. What does it really mean to whiteboard "virally"? We will multiply our capability to integrate without decreasing our capacity to monetize. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XSLT. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be long-term? What does the term "process management" really mean? If you innovate magnetically, you may have to transform virtually. The process management factor is B2C2B. What does the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based term "innovative" really mean? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is!