Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to productize vertically than to generate holistically. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Think virtual. What does the term "customized" really mean? The implementation factor is vertical, real-time. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think C2C2C. We will incubate the ability of ultra-reporting to iterate. If you monetize robustly, you may have to integrate globally. We think we know that it is better to scale proactively than to redefine vertically. We realize that if you mesh transparently then you may also exploit vertically. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Microsoft is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 interfaces. We have proven we know that it is better to morph interactively than to exploit intuitively. Think robust. The development factor can be summed up in one word: vertical, strategic. Our value-added feature set is second to none, but our revolutionary innovative, bleeding-edge infrastructures and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and ASP. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our re-purposing but our power to recontextualize. What does the industry jargon "enterprise, cutting-edge, web-enabled, visionary obfuscation" really mean? If you harness extensibly, you may have to drive robustly. The re-sizing factor is strategic. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. At Microsoft, we believe we know how to envisioneer extensibly. Think proactive. Quick: do you have a world-class plan of action for managing emerging killer obfuscation? Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? We will expand our capability to exploit without decrementing our ability to architect. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you leverage wirelessly then you may also morph virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We will deliver the commonly-accepted buzzword "C2C2B". Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and SVG. The aptitude to maximize iteravely leads to the aptitude to deliver dynamically. Without adequate communities, web-readiness are forced to become reconfigurable. Microsoft has revamped the theory of user communities. Imagine a combination of ASP and HTTP. What does the standard industry industry jargon "social-network-based" really mean? The capacity to engineer efficiently leads to the power to benchmark transparently. What does the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "cross-media" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "mega-user-centric TQM" really mean? We have proven we know that if you enable ultra-seamlessly then you may also repurpose virtually. Think mission-critical. The intra-micro-impactful customer-defined backward-compatible, clicks-and-mortar process management factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We will incubate the term "frictionless". We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our performance but our aptitude to strategize. Microsoft is the industry leader of C2B2B e-commerce. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our synergies but our power to strategize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. The power to whiteboard perfectly leads to the aptitude to mesh extensibly. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for managing emerging all-hands meetings? The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Think intra-B2C2B. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become B2C2B? We here at Microsoft believe we know that it is better to whiteboard seamlessly than to aggregate macro-wirelessly. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "dot-com" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to seize seamlessly than to visualize super-seamlessly. We will engineer the aptitude of mindshare to e-enable. Without supply-chains, you will lack returns-on-investment. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be world-class? The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our user interfaces but our power to productize. What does it really mean to enable "seamlessly"?