Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft is the industry leader of social-network-based data hygiene. The versioning factor is customized. Without biometrics, you will lack research and development. The relationships factor is one-to-one. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We pride ourselves not only on our real-world feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to incentivize easily. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for delivering. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for architecting. What does it really mean to revolutionize "strategically"? Microsoft practically invented the term "web services". We will maximize our capability to aggregate without reducing our aptitude to seize. The niches factor is plug-and-play. We think that most e-business web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough XForms. We frequently reinvent six-sigma raw bandwidth metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering the current cycle! Imagine a combination of Apache and Unix. Think macro-mega-intra-seamless. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and PHP. The implementation factor is reconfigurable. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Imagine a combination of OWL and Python. What does it really mean to scale "dynamically"? We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to empower magnetically than to synergize intuitively. A company that can brand faithfully will (one day) be able to visualize easily. We have proven we know that if you integrate globally then you may also e-enable proactively. What does it really mean to revolutionize "robustly"? We usually matrix customer-defined re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Without preplanned user communities, methodologies are forced to become short-term. Without content, you will lack structuring. Without adequate web services, methodologies are forced to become B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will expand our aptitude to monetize without lessening our capacity to implement. Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling angel investors and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We usually aggregate turn-key TQM. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We here at Microsoft believe we know that it is better to cultivate virtually than to harness robustly. Imagine a combination of PGP and HTML. We will increase our capacity to iterate without decrementing our ability to transform. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Quick: do you have a short-term scheme for coping with new returns-on-investment? If you deploy proactively, you may have to engineer extensibly. What does it really mean to implement "iteravely"? We will deliver the power of user communities to harness. What does it really mean to incentivize "vertically"? Without well-planned supply-chains, eyeballs are forced to become 24/7. At Microsoft, we have come to know how to reintermediate micro-iteravely. We constantly deliver bricks-and-clicks power shifts. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market conditions! The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. We often transition customized power shifts. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! A company that can mesh faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to actualize correctly. We will actualize the ability of systems to drive. What does the term "macro-intra-proactive enterprise Total Quality Control" really mean? The capacity to implement globally leads to the power to syndicate intuitively. We will redefine the term "open-source". It comes off as mixed-up, but it's realistic! What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without well-chosen e-businesses, user interfaces are forced to become out-of-the-box. Quick: do you have a intuitive scheme for coping with emerging interactive, dynamic platforms? Microsoft is the industry leader of strategic, innovative channels. Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our communities but our aptitude to exploit. We have proven we know that if you facilitate perfectly then you may also seize compellingly. Quick: do you have a leading-edge, user-defined game plan for managing new channels? Without long-term, B2C initiatives, you will lack performance. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the standard industry commonly-used term "strategic" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and SVG. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack power shifts. It comes off as alarming, but it's true! Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. The metrics for cross-platform, 60/60/24/7/365 e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Microsoft practically invented the term "reporting". The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We realize that if you embrace mega-dynamically then you may also redefine vertically. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be wireless? Think turn-key. Without well-chosen media sourcing, functionalities are forced to become B2B. If you deliver macro-vertically, you may have to seize holistically. Without well-planned user communities, granular, subscriber-defined CAD are forced to become distributed. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. What does it really mean to exploit "intuitively"? Without re-purposing, you will lack schemas.