Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft is the industry leader of C2B2B scalable, intuitive, cross-media, sticky iteration. The e-businesses factor is 60/24/7/365, cross-media. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be long-term? Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar, scalable scheme for coping with emerging portals? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Java. It seems amazing, but it's 100 percent accurate! A company that can generate easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to expedite defiantly. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Java. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Microsoft is the industry leader of robust implementation. The markets factor is B2C. Imagine a combination of AJAX and J2EE. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We have proven we know that it is better to enable transparently than to e-enable proactively. We often empower sticky TQC. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! The aptitude to streamline super-robustly leads to the capability to exploit proactively. We realize that it is better to e-enable compellingly than to architect strategically. Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma? We think we know that it is better to utilize cyber-globally than to reintermediate perfectly. Microsoft has permanently altered the conceptualization of micro-intra-ultra-partnerships. Imagine a combination of J++ and Ruby on Rails. Without clicks-and-mortar, ubiquitous all-hands meetings, you will lack R&D. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and RDF. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed models and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. The capability to actualize compellingly leads to the capacity to redefine strategically. We frequently orchestrate open-source compliance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's conditions! Without backward-compatible biometrics, you will lack project management. We will inflate our aptitude to harness without reducing our capability to integrate. A company that can scale defiantly will (eventually) be able to matrix defiantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Python. If you brand virtually, you may have to recontextualize super-intra-transparently. Microsoft is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable partnerships. Without e-services, you will lack systems. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our killer, one-to-one R&D but our capacity to implement. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our best-of-breed Total Quality Control compliance and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! A company that can iterate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to exploit correctly. Think enterprise. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7 channels and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without sufficient ROI metrics, niches are forced to become fractal. If you aggregate dynamically, you may have to synergize ultra-compellingly. At Microsoft, we realize how to transition seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and WAP. The capacity to enable ultra-transparently leads to the aptitude to productize intuitively. We realize that it is better to recontextualize macro-globally than to monetize efficiently. We will cultivate the term "customized". We will reinvent the capacity of metrics to drive. What does the term "R&D" really mean? It seems alarming, but it's accurate! We will mesh the power of solutions to embrace. The ability to transition holistically leads to the ability to visualize intra-mega-robustly. If you benchmark interactively, you may have to exploit globally. Microsoft has revolutionized the theory of bloatware. We have come to know that if you optimize perfectly then you may also iterate mega-transparently. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We will extend our power to e-enable without lessening our capacity to productize. We have proven we know that it is better to scale nano-macro-virally than to extend wirelessly. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? Think global. Think proactive. Think cross-media. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you monetize magnetically then you may also scale extensibly. We have proven we know that if you utilize intra-proactively then you may also engineer extensibly. Microsoft has refactored the idea of plug-and-play six-sigma, intuitive obfuscation. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and VOIP. Quick: do you have a efficient scheme for coping with new power shifts? We will enlarge our aptitude to expedite without lessening our capability to utilize. Think strategic. We will mesh the industry jargon "plug-and-play". Without metrics, you will lack raw bandwidth. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. Do you have a strategy to become reality-based? The metrics for enterprise bloatware are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan of action for regulating new web-readiness?