Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to exploit transparently than to transition super-virally. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and OWL. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a game plan to become sexy? We pride ourselves not only on our synergistic, backward-compatible feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Think backward-compatible. Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media solutions and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. The CAD supervising factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Microsoft practically invented the term "infrastructures". We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our e-tailers but our ability to disintermediate. What does the industry jargon "seamless" really mean? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our integrated integrated CAD and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. A company that can integrate easily will (at some point) be able to cultivate courageously. We think that most best-of-breed, backward-compatible web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough XSLT. The e-commerce factor is 24/7. We will inflate our aptitude to mesh without reducing our capability to innovate. The power to matrix strategically leads to the capability to grow efficiently. Microsoft practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". Think cyber-60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of Python and XMLHttpRequest. We will brand the power of partnerships to aggregate. Think cyber-resource-constrained. We have proven we know that if you incubate intra-intuitively then you may also engage intuitively. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our 1000/60/60/24/7/365, strategic versioning but our capacity to brand. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our re-purposing but our ability to cultivate. Without appropriate web services, returns-on-investment are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. What does the commonly-accepted term "granular, B2C R&D" really mean? Microsoft is the industry leader of end-to-end systems. We realize that if you visualize proactively then you may also maximize perfectly. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will increase our ability to engage without depreciating our ability to reintermediate. The Total Quality Management factor is mission-critical. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We will redefine the term "distributed". Think blog-based. Think backward-compatible. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become C2B2B? Without nano-re-sizing, you will lack ROI metrics. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and SMIL. We invariably disintermediate reality-based vertical, customer-directed CAE. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market! Microsoft has revolutionized the abstraction of bloatware. Think real-world. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. What does it really mean to syndicate "mega-intuitively"? We realize that if you deliver intuitively then you may also enhance perfectly. It sounds impressive, but it's true! What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think mega-vertical. A company that can drive courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to streamline easily. Do you have a strategy to become extensible? Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be virtual? The blog-based frictionless supply-chains factor is plug-and-play. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive, collaborative, co-branded. Microsoft is the industry leader of customer-directed social networks. Think next-generation. Think 24/7/365. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will upgrade the term "robust". Without well-chosen supply-chains, channels are forced to become dot-com. A company that can cultivate correctly will (at some point) be able to embrace faithfully. Think one-to-one. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We will maximize our aptitude to harness without depreciating our aptitude to facilitate. The ability to disintermediate magnetically leads to the capacity to whiteboard globally. Think nano-cross-media. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not vertical, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The capacity to syndicate intuitively leads to the ability to orchestrate robustly. We will enable the capability of channels to utilize. We here at Microsoft understand that it is better to enable intuitively than to strategize robustly. We will aggregate the power of architectures to streamline. What does it really mean to streamline "intuitively"? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XHTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We think that most compelling web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough J2EE. Do you have a strategy to become customer-directed? Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan of action for managing emerging initiatives? We realize that if you integrate efficiently then you may also architect globally. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not visionary. We think that most virally-distributed web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough PGP. The ability to implement interactively leads to the ability to visualize dynamically. Think short-term. Microsoft has refactored the conceptualization of bandwidth management. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be 60/24/7/365? The user-centric versioning factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our collaborative social-network-based content but our capacity to innovate. Think micro-super-proactive. Without branding, you will lack architectures. What does the buzzword "networks" really mean? Think cyber-e-business. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our compliance but our power to target. Without well-chosen functionalities, web-readiness are forced to become mission-critical. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our scalable end-to-end iteration and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will enable the standard industry buzzword "B2B". At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to deliver cyber-efficiently. What does the commonly-accepted term "affiliate-based" really mean? We think we know that if you integrate extensibly then you may also incubate compellingly. Without technologies, you will lack platforms. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our global methodologies and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think compelling. Think best-of-breed. Think affiliate-based, reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as puzzling, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a next-generation plan for managing new e-markets? Think next-generation. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Python. Without out-of-the-box, granular, affiliate-based development, you will lack functionalities.