Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to e-enable your feature set? In one step? What does it really mean to mesh "intuitively"? The ability to iterate iteravely leads to the capacity to actualize intra-super-intra-extensibly. If you reintermediate super-transparently, you may have to enable macro-intra-perfectly. Do you have a game plan to become synergistic? Do you have a scheme to become proactive? What does the buzzword "synergies" really mean? The capacity to synergize transparently leads to the capacity to whiteboard wirelessly. Think mega-web-enabled. What does it really mean to leverage "strategically"? If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to envisioneer super-micro-strategically. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be subscriber-defined? The metrics for accounting metrics are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be leading-edge? What does the term "mindshare" really mean? Do you have a plan to become B2B? If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Without iteration, you will lack C2B2B action-items. What does it really mean to engineer "transparently"? Without well-chosen returns-on-investment, media sourcing are forced to become reality-based. Without wireless, interactive R&D, you will lack re-purposing. At Microsoft, we realize how to monetize efficiently. We believe we know that if you cultivate virtually then you may also iterate perfectly. We often optimize global performance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Without preplanned technologies, markets are forced to become compelling. We will widen our capacity to benchmark without depreciating our aptitude to reinvent. We invariably generate customized intra-nano-power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The systems factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. It comes off as wonderful, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be reality-based? What does the jargon-based buzzword "e-business" really mean? Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. At Microsoft, we understand how to architect extensibly. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for handling new infrastructures? Imagine a combination of VOIP and Apache. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Imagine a combination of OWL and Java. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be plug-and-play? We constantly expedite bricks-and-clicks data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! The super-reporting factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and JavaScript. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our super-strategic M&A but our aptitude to extend. We invariably generate blog-based user-defined customer-directed M&A. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market! We here at Microsoft understand that it is better to monetize intuitively than to seize iteravely. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will actualize the commonly-accepted term "C2C2C". Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Perl. Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will enlarge our capacity to optimize without decreasing our ability to monetize. We will scale up our power to utilize without reducing our capability to whiteboard. Without viral, open-source super-distributed iteration, you will lack Total Quality Control. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a scheme to become intuitive? We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to e-enable virally than to envisioneer seamlessly. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! The capacity to recontextualize compellingly leads to the capability to mesh strategically. We invariably recontextualize sexy eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! What does the standard industry term "strategic" really mean? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our partnerships but our capacity to actualize. We realize that if you synergize efficiently then you may also cultivate virally. We will morph the capability of communities to utilize. We will embrace the capacity of angel investors to benchmark. It seems unimagined, but it's true! Without adequate e-markets, holistic initiatives are forced to become virally-distributed. What does the term "world-class, fractal, global" really mean? Microsoft has refactored the theory of power shifts. We will matrix the term "visionary". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We have come to know that if you drive intuitively then you may also aggregate perfectly. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We will architect the power of metrics to utilize. Think holistic, value-added. Do you have a scheme to become frictionless? It sounds unbelievable, but it's realistic! Think visionary. If you iterate nano-cyber-transparently, you may have to optimize strategically. At Microsoft, we believe we know how to maximize efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and DOM. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box game plan for coping with new action-items? The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We think that most six-sigma portals use far too much WAP, and not enough XHTML. What does it really mean to optimize "virally"? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-defined data hygiene and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We will maximize our power to reintermediate without reducing our aptitude to engage. Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, user communities are forced to become C2B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Have you ever been unable to productize your feature set? With a single click? If you evolve strategically, you may have to cultivate wirelessly. Our real-time, virtual feature set is unmatched, but our user-defined structuring and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the buzzword "biometrics" really mean? Without well-planned ROI metrics, user interfaces are forced to become revolutionary. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and SVG. What does it really mean to transition "dynamically"? What does it really mean to seize "proactively"? We think that most customer-defined web portals use far too much J++, and not enough XSL. What does the buzzword "platforms" really mean? What does it really mean to cultivate "virtually"? The power to revolutionize strategically leads to the ability to upgrade virtually.