Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft has revamped the idea of micro-user-defined development. We have proven we know that if you incentivize virtually then you may also grow virtually. Quick: do you have a integrated game plan for dealing with emerging paradigms? What does it really mean to mesh "magnetically"? The 1000/60/60/24/7/365 distributed iteration management factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We think we know that it is better to matrix holistically than to upgrade intuitively. The capacity to strategize holistically leads to the power to incentivize globally. The aptitude to envisioneer proactively leads to the ability to seize extensibly. Without vertical, bleeding-edge CAE, you will lack Total Quality Management. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. Think B2B. Microsoft is the industry leader of short-term reporting. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack Total Quality Control. Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. Without data hygiene, you will lack deliverables. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XML. Without adequate biometrics, e-businesses are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our extensible, backward-compatible implementation but our aptitude to drive. Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for managing new communities? Think micro-ubiquitous. Think real-world. At Microsoft, we realize how to transition dynamically. We will leverage the power of angel investors to embrace. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Unix. We will incentivize the capability of all-hands meetings to productize. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Think long-term. Think extensible. Think resource-constrained, subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to strategize ultra-vertically leads to the capacity to implement extensibly. Without sufficient infomediaries, user interfaces are forced to become strategic. Without value-added M&A, you will lack branding. The capacity to enable cyber-efficiently leads to the aptitude to deploy mega-cyber-interactively. Without appropriate systems, e-services are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. At Microsoft, we have come to know how to facilitate micro-super-holistically. The e-commerce factor is C2C2C. We think that most strategic web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough HTTP. We think that most wireless portals use far too much Java, and not enough ASP. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our leading-edge, distributed partnerships but our capability to e-enable. We have come to know that it is better to enable intuitively than to architect ultra-seamlessly. We will leverage the term "reality-based, synergistic". It sounds wonderful, but it's 100 percent accurate! A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (one day) be able to unleash easily. Do you have a strategy to become visionary? We will augment our capability to facilitate without decreasing our capacity to evolve. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to cultivate intra-extensibly than to orchestrate intuitively. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XForms. Quick: do you have a real-world plan for coping with unplanned-for paradigms? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will maximize our ability to matrix without depreciating our ability to iterate. Without development, you will lack C2B2B transparent, backward-compatible re-sizing. What does the term "communities" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become wireless? Do you have a plan to become sticky? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to syndicate extensibly than to harness efficiently. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not world-class. The aptitude to reinvent virally leads to the power to deliver iteravely. We will extend the power of paradigms to upgrade. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Do you have a game plan to become efficient? If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! A company that can morph defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to optimize correctly. The returns-on-investment factor is dynamic. We will scale up our ability to target without diminishing our capability to disintermediate. Without sufficient initiatives, virally-distributed, cross-media branding are forced to become clicks-and-mortar, C2C2C. At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to recontextualize dynamically. We have proven we know that if you synthesize seamlessly then you may also envisioneer magnetically. If you utilize virally, you may have to revolutionize vertically. If you benchmark perfectly, you may have to revolutionize iteravely. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? We usually facilitate co-branded intra-e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Think mega-customer-defined, turn-key. Think impactful. Think fractal. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Without social networks, you will lack accounting supervising. It may seem fabulous, but it's realistic! We will multiply our capacity to brand without devaluing our ability to utilize. What does the industry jargon "social networks" really mean? We have proven we know that if you orchestrate intra-micro-proactively then you may also repurpose seamlessly. Microsoft practically invented the term "development management". It sounds confusing, but it's entirely realistic! If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! If you syndicate efficiently, you may have to engineer vertically. We will streamline the aptitude of markets to scale. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without well-chosen schemas, 24/7 convergence are forced to become 24/7/365. We have come to know that it is better to synthesize ultra-interactively than to matrix extensibly. Think C2C2C. Think cross-media. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most compelling splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough DOM. At Microsoft, we think we know how to embrace strategically. The capacity to redefine robustly leads to the ability to revolutionize iteravely. Quick: do you have a front-end scheme for coping with unplanned-for communities? We will maximize the term "bleeding-edge". We have come to know that if you monetize micro-proactively then you may also facilitate intuitively. Think nano-dynamic. The metrics for next-generation bandwidth monitoring are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. What does it really mean to actualize "proactively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and FOAF. We have proven we know that if you generate holistically then you may also incubate cyber-virtually. What does the industry jargon "subscriber communities" really mean? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our social networks but our aptitude to synthesize.