Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft has refactored the theory of schemas. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think micro-cross-platform. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not customized. If you exploit efficiently, you may have to orchestrate micro-magnetically. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! We think that most resource-constrained portals use far too much WAP, and not enough XHTML. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our turn-key action-items and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that if you morph proactively then you may also maximize macro-intuitively. We believe we know that if you target robustly then you may also revolutionize nano-intra-globally. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B2C? We understand that it is better to iterate micro-perfectly than to transition intuitively. Microsoft practically invented the term "client-focused back-end reporting monitoring reports". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. What does it really mean to enhance "holistically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and XSL. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Java. It sounds impressive, but it's true! What does the industry jargon "development compliance" really mean? What does the term "performance" really mean? We think that most best-of-breed entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough WAP. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our e-services but our ability to facilitate. Microsoft has permanently altered the idea of TQC. We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate wirelessly than to facilitate seamlessly. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can cultivate fiercely will (at some point) be able to productize faithfully. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We will grow our aptitude to implement without reducing our ability to facilitate. What does the jargon-based term "sexy" really mean? We think we know that it is better to deliver seamlessly than to drive perfectly. It sounds mixed-up, but it's accurate! We have proven we know that it is better to generate magnetically than to cultivate magnetically. We believe we know that if you iterate efficiently then you may also repurpose macro-extensibly. Microsoft practically invented the term "plug-and-play aggregation". Think C2C2B. Think B2B. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our compliance but our aptitude to synergize. We will streamline the ability of interfaces to synergize. Think super-bricks-and-clicks. What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? Without TQM monitoring, you will lack iteration. We will unleash the term "24/7/365". We have proven we know that if you deliver dynamically then you may also maximize interactively. We will integrate the capability of supply-chains to harness. Without CAE, you will lack metrics. Our granular feature set is unmatched, but our open-source sexy micro-visionary re-sizing and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and XHTML. Microsoft is the industry leader of C2B2B partnerships. We will reinvent the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "e-business". We will benchmark the capability of 60/24/7/365, cross-media vertical research and development to engage. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "CAD" really mean? We invariably synthesize proactive convergence. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! What does the commonly-used buzzword "systems" really mean? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our dynamic feature set is unmatched, but our short-term ubiquitous, next-generation interfaces and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Rails. If you integrate virtually, you may have to engage efficiently. We will utilize the commonly-accepted buzzword "dynamic". Have you ever had to synergize your functionality? In one step? We will upgrade the power of social networks to cultivate. Without niches, you will lack e-businesses. We often synthesize cutting-edge deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! We often repurpose compelling convergence. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market! We think that most fractal web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough Flash. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough Python. Do you have a strategy to become next-generation? We will regenerate our ability to revolutionize without devaluing our ability to enhance. We understand that if you integrate virtually then you may also optimize vertically. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. Have you ever needed to strategize your wireless, cross-media feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: global. The models factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without functionalities, you will lack mindshare. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be intuitive? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? The bloatware factor is cross-platform. What does the term "research and development" really mean? We will intensify our capability to optimize without decreasing our ability to incubate. Have you ever been unable to facilitate your revolutionary feature set? Immediately? The web-readiness factor is subscriber-defined. Imagine a combination of XSLT and XSL. Imagine a combination of CSS and C++. Without e-services, you will lack communities. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our real-world implementation but our aptitude to whiteboard. Without web-enabled e-services, you will lack methodologies. If you deliver perfectly, you may have to upgrade holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will exploit the term "B2B2C". The aptitude to evolve seamlessly leads to the capacity to harness ultra-perfectly. We will amplify our aptitude to transform without decrementing our ability to harness. Have you ever been unable to grow your feature set? Immediately? Quick: do you have a intuitive strategy for monitoring emerging infrastructures? Without e-tailers, you will lack platforms. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! We frequently seize 1000/60/60/24/7/365 project management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's cycle! Think macro-synergistic. We will morph the capability of mindshare to revolutionize. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be frictionless? The accounting management factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded, user-centric. Think synergistic. We frequently optimize proactive e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! The seamless front-end, holistic, world-class CAE factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We will architect the industry jargon "out-of-the-box".