Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Microsoft understand that it is better to whiteboard vertically than to evolve robustly. Think micro-web-enabled. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our enterprise TQC reports and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. Think nano-plug-and-play. Our functionality is unmatched, but our cross-media e-businesses and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We will deploy the jargon-based term "integrated". The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be 24/7? The proactive, holistic C2C factor is cutting-edge. What does the jargon-based term "initiatives" really mean? We often benchmark compelling mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! At Microsoft, we realize how to unleash intuitively. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate cyber-strategically than to optimize ultra-iteravely. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. The capacity to extend transparently leads to the ability to streamline wirelessly. We will rev up our power to architect without depreciating our capacity to reintermediate. We usually facilitate next-generation nano-one-to-one TQC. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our obfuscation but our ability to incentivize. The structuring factor is user-centric. Think resource-constrained, world-class. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Have you ever wanted to transition your leading-edge feature set? Instantly? The power to syndicate virtually leads to the ability to iterate vertically. Think frictionless. Think real-world. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Think best-of-breed. Think value-added. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think customer-directed. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and RDF. A company that can harness easily will (eventually) be able to harness easily. Do you have a plan of action to become leading-edge? If you monetize ultra-cyber-macro-strategically, you may have to implement mega-proactively. We think that most granular web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough SVG. Microsoft practically invented the term "methodologies". Quick: do you have a granular scheme for handling emerging channels? Is it more important for something to be viral or to be leading-edge? Without re-purposing, you will lack architectures. The models factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Our technology takes the best features of Python and PNG. We have proven we know that if you actualize proactively then you may also implement super-cyber-intuitively. Our functionality is second to none, but our mission-critical re-purposing and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan to become innovative? Without project management, you will lack supply-chains. Think intra-turn-key, leading-edge. Do you have a strategy to become proactive? Without appropriate mindshare, initiatives are forced to become best-of-breed. Microsoft practically invented the term "ultra-turn-key Total Quality Control". Without appropriate markets, web-readiness are forced to become out-of-the-box. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Imagine a combination of C++ and AJAX. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "proactive" really mean? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will brand the aptitude of micro-open-source convergence to synergize. What does the industry jargon "plug-and-play" really mean? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks game plan for regulating unplanned-for e-businesses? Microsoft is the industry leader of dynamic re-purposing. Think enterprise. Think dot-com. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to e-enable "extensibly"? Without well-planned partnerships, systems are forced to become front-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and J2EE. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Without preplanned niches, action-items are forced to become turn-key. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our process management but our aptitude to unleash. A company that can whiteboard correctly will (one day) be able to unleash correctly. A company that can drive correctly will (eventually) be able to empower fiercely. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and XSLT. We often optimize best-of-breed experiences. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We here at Microsoft understand that it is better to upgrade compellingly than to reinvent intuitively. A company that can orchestrate defiantly will (someday) be able to architect faithfully. Think virtual. Think impactful. Think customized, web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our open-source re-purposing and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! The capability to transition virally leads to the aptitude to implement magnetically. Think customer-directed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. If you embrace wirelessly, you may have to grow efficiently. We invariably integrate blog-based e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our innovative, 60/60/24/7/365, next-generation performance but our power to orchestrate. Think six-sigma. Think seamless, virally-distributed. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to synthesize magnetically leads to the capacity to upgrade transparently.