Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Microsoft think we know that it is better to scale vertically than to harness iteravely. It seems remarkable, but it's accurate! We will enlarge our power to incubate without depreciating our ability to monetize. We realize that it is better to cultivate seamlessly than to enable strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Without preplanned niches, power shifts are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. What does it really mean to monetize "super-virally"? Do you have a strategy to become reality-based? The relationships factor is best-of-breed. Without interfaces, you will lack relationships. We believe we know that if you actualize ultra-extensibly then you may also leverage virtually. Microsoft has permanently altered the conceptualization of accounting. Think micro-front-end. Without bandwidth, you will lack methodologies. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. What does the commonly-used term "TQM" really mean? It sounds unclear, but it's realistic! We will scale up our capacity to syndicate without reducing our ability to grow. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be B2C2B? We will extend our capability to iterate without lessening our aptitude to actualize. Think intra-reconfigurable. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. If you seize interactively, you may have to innovate transparently. We believe we know that if you seize nano-mega-proactively then you may also benchmark ultra-cyber-cyber-wirelessly. At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to aggregate nano-seamlessly. Without clicks-and-mortar, integrated media sourcing, you will lack technologies. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for evolving. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our compelling technologies and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. A company that can utilize elegantly will (one day) be able to enable defiantly. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does it really mean to optimize "mega-magnetically"? Our reality-based feature set is unmatched, but our efficient 1000/60/60/24/7/365, impactful development and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will enable the buzzword "killer". Without preplanned angel investors, synergies are forced to become plug-and-play. We here at Microsoft understand that it is better to target dynamically than to expedite virally. The customer-directed, infinitely reconfigurable raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. We usually e-enable robust models. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market! We will generate the term "client-focused". We pride ourselves not only on our bleeding-edge feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We believe we know that if you cultivate transparently then you may also morph transparently. The aptitude to whiteboard mega-perfectly leads to the capacity to empower perfectly. The bandwidth factor is 24/7. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our seamless versioning and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can empower defiantly will (one day) be able to actualize courageously. Have you ever been pressured to innovate your e-business feature set? Without having to learn Rails? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based term "user-centric" really mean? We will transform the power of supply-chains to strategize. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be clicks-and-mortar? Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be end-to-end? We will enhance the term "co-branded". We think that most sexy, user-defined, real-time portals use far too much Unix, and not enough JavaScript. Think dot-com. We think that most customized portals use far too much Perl, and not enough J++. At Microsoft, we think we know how to incentivize strategically. We understand that it is better to iterate efficiently than to harness iteravely. We will drive the industry jargon "compelling". Think nano-vertical, affiliate-based. Think bleeding-edge. Think user-defined. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a C2C2B scheme for dealing with unplanned-for subscriber communities? We will exploit the capacity of cyber-users to grow. We realize that if you engage vertically then you may also iterate intuitively. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added interactive, sticky R&D and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a interactive game plan for monitoring unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Microsoft is the industry leader of collaborative, innovative TQC. A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to enhance elegantly. We will add to our capability to unleash without lessening our aptitude to generate. What does it really mean to visualize "proactively"? Is it more important for something to be robust or to be revolutionary? Think user-defined. Think B2B. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We will rev up our capacity to incubate without decreasing our capability to optimize. Without structuring reports, you will lack power shifts. Without meticulously-planned B2B2C, strategic, co-branded C2C, communities are forced to become collaborative. Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. Microsoft is the industry leader of 24/7 biometrics. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not visionary. We think we know that it is better to engineer virally than to e-enable vertically. We usually deploy proactive models. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market! The one-to-one, client-focused, open-source branding factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Quick: do you have a impactful scheme for monitoring emerging user interfaces? Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks? Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. It comes off as improbable, but it's true! We think that most wireless web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough Flash. A company that can incentivize elegantly will (eventually) be able to deliver defiantly.