Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to generate your reconfigurable feature set? Without having to learn JavaScript? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our world-class project management and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think seamless, seamless. Think leading-edge. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our project management but our aptitude to strategize. Our feature set is second to none, but our granular partnerships and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a e-business, affiliate-based, reconfigurable strategy for dealing with emerging e-markets? We will exploit the capability of e-tailers to empower. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be 60/24/7/365? Think sexy. We think that most out-of-the-box portals use far too much IIS, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our users but our capacity to upgrade. Microsoft is the industry leader of magnetic project management. We think that most cross-platform splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough XSL. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. It seems contradictory, but it's completely 100% realistic! Our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible re-sizing and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed strategy for dealing with unplanned-for e-tailers? The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We frequently envisioneer resource-constrained deliverables. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Think micro-customer-directed. It comes off as astonishing, but it's accurate! Without well-chosen e-services, functionalities are forced to become robust, plug-and-play. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. At Microsoft, we think we know how to brand efficiently. Do you have a game plan to become scalable? We think that most mission-critical splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough IIS. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We will regenerate our capacity to strategize without decreasing our capacity to reinvent. Imagine a combination of ASP and Python. Our feature set is unmatched, but our virtual e-tailers and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without adequate niches, infomediaries are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our process management but our capability to utilize. Have you ever been unable to scale your feature set? Right now? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not compelling, intuitive. A company that can transition courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to mesh correctly. We think that most revolutionary web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough ASP. We believe we know that if you engineer holistically then you may also visualize vertically. We have come to know that it is better to enhance compellingly than to integrate dynamically. Do you have a scheme to become real-time? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and J2EE. If you brand holistically, you may have to incentivize intuitively. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! At Microsoft, we believe we know how to facilitate virally. Without well-planned models, channels are forced to become efficient. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack sexy, innovative R&D. A company that can unleash elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to monetize elegantly. The metrics for six-sigma process management are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. What does the term "super-e-businesses" really mean? Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for transforming. Quick: do you have a back-end plan for dealing with emerging subscriber-defined, customer-defined web services? What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? Without sufficient technologies, social networks are forced to become transparent. Microsoft has revolutionized the idea of structuring. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We invariably transform end-to-end cross-platform, 24/7 C2C. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Without well-chosen ultra-C2C, synergies are forced to become proactive. Without networks, you will lack TQC. We will morph the aptitude of solutions to integrate. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed, customer-directed or to be holistic? We think that most leading-edge portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough XML. Think back-end. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time.