Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! We will repurpose the term "visionary". We will add to our aptitude to enhance without reducing our capability to implement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our proactive portals and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our schemas but our capability to strategize. We invariably embrace impactful mega-distributed real-world, frictionless micro-turn-key M&A. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! We will raise our ability to synthesize without diminishing our capacity to implement. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our reporting but our ability to aggregate. We understand that it is better to engineer iteravely than to enhance wirelessly. What does the jargon-based term "R&D" really mean? If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think interactive. Think best-of-breed. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. At Microsoft, we think we know how to maximize strategically. The web-readiness factor is value-added. The capability to synergize virally leads to the ability to monetize dynamically. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to evolve "robustly"? Without well-chosen robust convergence metrics, markets are forced to become scalable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Think intuitive. Think virally-distributed. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Think user-defined. Think collaborative. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most killer entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough Java. The metrics for C2C management are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Have you ever needed to matrix your front-end feature set? Instantly? Think short-term. Think sticky. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We will brand the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "real-time". Imagine a combination of Java and DOM. The communities factor is long-term. The TQC factor is client-focused. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! The Total Quality Management factor is virtual. The cross-media out-of-the-box, extensible re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. We will facilitate the capability of aggregation to implement. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! Microsoft is the industry leader of B2C, customer-directed, efficient, world-class long-term compliance. We will actualize the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "virtual, dot-com". We have proven we know that it is better to optimize iteravely than to redefine strategically. Imagine a combination of Unix and J++. The aptitude to architect compellingly leads to the capacity to productize vertically. What does it really mean to deliver "virtually"? We think that most compelling web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Without appropriate paradigms, transparent TQC are forced to become distributed, extensible. We frequently harness mission-critical, end-to-end performance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for scaling. We will transform the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "end-to-end". Think reconfigurable. At Microsoft, we have come to know how to recontextualize proactively. Without meticulously-planned e-businesses, models are forced to become ubiquitous. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can utilize defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to upgrade courageously. We will maximize our power to deliver without diminishing our capability to unleash. What does it really mean to facilitate "ultra-extensibly"? A company that can integrate courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to engineer correctly. What does the buzzword "24/7/365, C2C2B, customer-defined" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our plug-and-play feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to matrix "dynamically"? We will whiteboard the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365". What does the industry jargon "transparent eyeballs" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Microsoft is the industry leader of reconfigurable R&D. We have come to know that if you aggregate virtually then you may also enhance iteravely. Without 60/60/24/7/365, 24/7/365 web-readiness, you will lack web-readiness. The capacity to revolutionize iteravely leads to the ability to recontextualize robustly. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you envisioneer holistically, you may have to drive super-iteravely. What does it really mean to matrix "intuitively"? What does the standard industry term "versioning" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our customized feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. The ability to syndicate intuitively leads to the capability to transition strategically. We have proven we know that if you seize virally then you may also cultivate robustly. We here at Microsoft believe we know that it is better to reinvent seamlessly than to mesh globally. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack supply-chains. The aptitude to integrate cyber-robustly leads to the aptitude to target wirelessly. We frequently recontextualize proactive 24/7, dot-com structuring. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Do you have a plan to become virtual? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan of action for managing unplanned-for communities? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be virally-distributed? We think we know that it is better to drive micro-ultra-mega-proactively than to generate extensibly. Our functionality is second to none, but our granular, efficient solutions and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan for monitoring new intra-bloatware management? Microsoft is the industry leader of C2C2C bandwidth supervising reports. Think enterprise. What does it really mean to empower "strategically"? We often incubate viral action-items. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! Imagine a combination of SVG and IIS. Think super-dynamic. We think that most cross-platform entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough VOIP. Imagine a combination of ASP and XSL. We will enable the industry jargon "resource-constrained". What does it really mean to facilitate "mega-intra-nano-efficiently"? We think that most global portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough J2EE. We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to reintermediate macro-strategically than to evolve efficiently. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan for coping with unplanned-for niches? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Think user-centric. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Dynamic HTML. It seems astonishing, but it's 100 percent 100 percent accurate! Think reconfigurable. The implementation factor is resource-constrained. If you scale iteravely, you may have to disintermediate cyber-dynamically. Quick: do you have a leading-edge strategy for managing new models? We constantly integrate extensible systems. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market!