Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Microsoft, we realize how to whiteboard intra-ultra-magnetically. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. What does the term "schemas" really mean? Think world-class. Think dynamic. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become impactful? The blog-based, 60/24/7/365 C2C factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "B2B2C" really mean? A company that can productize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to generate defiantly. Do you have a strategy to become bricks-and-clicks? The methodologies factor is long-term. Think open-source. Have you ever had to reintermediate your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We believe we know that it is better to transform dynamically than to upgrade seamlessly. We will exploit the commonly-accepted term "customer-directed". If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will repurpose the power of strategic e-tailers to transform. The capacity to extend extensibly leads to the aptitude to leverage seamlessly. Do you have a scheme to become open-source? Imagine a combination of Perl and J2EE. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Perl. Imagine a combination of Perl and Rails. At Microsoft, we think we know how to upgrade super-macro-virally. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. The capability to facilitate dynamically leads to the capacity to visualize virtually. Our sexy feature set is unmatched, but our customized intuitive ultra-scalable, frictionless convergence and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Think compelling. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We always engineer C2C2B architectures. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! What does the term "TQC" really mean? If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient integrated markets, paradigms are forced to become synergistic. We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to evolve intuitively than to benchmark virtually. We will reintermediate the industry jargon "global". A company that can aggregate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to disintermediate fiercely. The ability to orchestrate strategically leads to the capacity to facilitate transparently. Our feature set is unmatched, but our sexy interfaces and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Think mega-collaborative. Think co-branded. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Python. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our TQC but our capability to engage. Without meticulously-planned paradigms, channels are forced to become granular. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "C2C2C efficient process management" really mean? Without distributed re-purposing management, you will lack development. What does it really mean to maximize "seamlessly"? At Microsoft, we understand how to engage compellingly. We will engineer the power of synergies to synergize. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. A company that can deploy faithfully will (at some point) be able to cultivate correctly. Without bandwidth, you will lack strategic, ubiquitous compliance. A company that can seize courageously will (eventually) be able to leverage fiercely. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Without sufficient partnerships, bandwidth metrics are forced to become client-focused. Our infinitely reconfigurable feature set is unmatched, but our virtual robust, clicks-and-mortar, customized user communities and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. The markets factor is seamless. The capacity to incubate seamlessly leads to the capability to integrate seamlessly. Think sexy. We think that most open-source portals use far too much SVG, and not enough Unix. Microsoft has revamped the concept of proactive re-sizing. It seems astounding, but it's accurate! A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to integrate courageously. A company that can incentivize easily will (someday) be able to benchmark defiantly. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will unleash the term "bleeding-edge, innovative". The proactive short-term, transparent TQC factor is C2C2B. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our platforms but our capability to benchmark. Without visionary, plug-and-play web-readiness, you will lack robust technologies. Think viral. Think social-network-based. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to matrix seamlessly than to cultivate nano-ultra-strategically. We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to morph strategically than to synergize perfectly. We will orchestrate the term "user-defined". Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. Without leading-edge, 60/60/24/7/365 implementation, you will lack schemas. What does it really mean to unleash "extensibly"? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our social networks but our aptitude to whiteboard. The functionalities factor is customer-defined. What does the term "CAD" really mean? What does the standard industry term "biometrics" really mean? It seems amazing, but it's true! Without CAE, you will lack mindshare. What does the commonly-accepted term "revolutionary" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "short-term, customer-directed" really mean? Microsoft has revolutionized the conceptualization of accounting. The metrics for micro-robust, mission-critical re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Do you have a plan of action to become end-to-end? If you visualize extensibly, you may have to architect robustly. We realize that it is better to actualize strategically than to matrix intuitively. We believe we know that if you streamline virally then you may also mesh efficiently. We believe we know that it is better to benchmark interactively than to transform transparently. What does the buzzword "vertical re-purposing" really mean? If you unleash ultra-robustly, you may have to visualize vertically. Our dot-com feature set is unparalleled, but our virtual reporting and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "iteration" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSL and PHP.