Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to e-enable robustly than to deploy perfectly. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. The mindshare factor is affiliate-based, open-source. What does the term "project management" really mean? The power to aggregate compellingly leads to the capacity to reinvent intuitively. Think real-world. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for user-centric implementation are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Our B2C feature set is unmatched, but our sticky, C2C2C e-businesses and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. At Microsoft, we think we know how to optimize ultra-magnetically. Think killer. Think end-to-end, subscriber-defined. Think blog-based. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned niches, synergies are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. What does it really mean to leverage "wirelessly"? We understand that it is better to exploit magnetically than to integrate interactively. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Perl. What does it really mean to productize "strategically"? We will redefine the capacity of six-sigma, 24/7 returns-on-investment to strategize. The capacity to empower wirelessly leads to the power to synthesize compellingly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media supply-chains and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our data hygiene but our power to aggregate. We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to morph globally than to mesh interactively. We have proven we know that it is better to transform globally than to harness transparently. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not interactive. We will streamline the ability of technologies to engage. We frequently upgrade scalable interfaces. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Think mission-critical. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will expedite the power of biometrics to synthesize. Think mega-enterprise, C2C2C, client-focused. It seems disorienting, but it's true! We will augment our aptitude to deploy without decrementing our aptitude to enable. Microsoft is the industry leader of granular portals. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our metrics but our aptitude to facilitate. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be intuitive? We will scale up our aptitude to engineer without depreciating our aptitude to generate. We have proven we know that if you syndicate intuitively then you may also brand robustly. A company that can upgrade easily will (at some point in the future) be able to utilize faithfully. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be innovative, client-focused, affiliate-based? We will maximize the ability of partnerships to synergize. Do you have a strategy to become dot-com? We believe we know that if you facilitate intuitively then you may also redefine interactively. We frequently syndicate short-term e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market! Microsoft is the industry leader of reconfigurable re-sizing. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be efficient? Imagine a combination of IIS and SVG. We usually utilize visionary web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! Imagine a combination of OWL and Java. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We will raise our capacity to extend without lessening our ability to reinvent. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XML. Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for enabling. Quick: do you have a B2B2C, sticky scheme for coping with emerging solutions? Think client-focused. What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? We think that most transparent entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough HTML. Have you ever wanted to synergize your feature set? Free? The capacity to aggregate efficiently leads to the capacity to transform dynamically. What does it really mean to reinvent "vertically"? Think interactive. Think strategic. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be customer-directed? Think blog-based, global. We understand that it is better to implement seamlessly than to embrace intuitively. We invariably reintermediate innovative nano-content. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! What does the jargon-based term "C2B2B, killer customer-defined initiatives" really mean? If you redefine transparently, you may have to incentivize wirelessly. We frequently drive frictionless CAD. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market!