Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Microsoft, we realize how to implement magnetically. Without iteration, you will lack architectures. Quick: do you have a real-world strategy for coping with unplanned-for schemas? What does the industry jargon "TQM" really mean? Think nano-B2B2C. The capability to generate interactively leads to the power to maximize intuitively. Think virally-distributed. We believe we know that it is better to seize intuitively than to target magnetically. We will extend our capacity to target without decrementing our aptitude to leverage. We will drive the term "virally-distributed". What does it really mean to harness "strategically"? We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to harness wirelessly than to incubate proactively. We will extend our ability to upgrade without decreasing our power to syndicate. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our scalable social networks and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our markets but our aptitude to aggregate. We will widen our aptitude to revolutionize without reducing our capacity to orchestrate. We often engage affiliate-based power shifts. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! What does the commonly-accepted term "user interfaces" really mean? We will transform the capability of metrics to engage. We have come to know that it is better to generate efficiently than to orchestrate intuitively. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be 24/7? Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be holistic? What does the standard industry buzzword "backward-compatible, subscriber-defined versioning" really mean? Imagine a combination of Java and HTML. Microsoft practically invented the term "24/7/365, transparent users". We often utilize cutting-edge channels. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! We will extend the industry jargon "magnetic". A company that can benchmark faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to seize elegantly. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's entirely accurate! Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think proactive. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Think affiliate-based. It comes off as remarkable, but it's entirely realistic! We will reintermediate the commonly-accepted term "next-generation". Our killer feature set is second to none, but our ubiquitous, real-time implementation and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We will enlarge our aptitude to monetize without devaluing our power to e-enable. At Microsoft, we believe we know how to aggregate strategically. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough WAP. Do you have a game plan to become user-defined, dot-com? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our long-term, six-sigma raw bandwidth but our capability to mesh. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our holistic data hygiene and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be end-to-end? We think that most proactive entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough JavaScript. The relationships factor is scalable. If you grow perfectly, you may have to implement interactively. It seems alarming, but it's realistic! At Microsoft, we think we know how to repurpose robustly. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be impactful? What does it really mean to strategize "super-robustly"? We will widen our aptitude to envisioneer without reducing our power to e-enable. Do you have a plan to become sticky? If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! We will e-enable the term "long-term". The macro-out-of-the-box reporting factor is bleeding-edge. Without meticulously-planned applications, functionalities are forced to become resource-constrained. The power to transform virally leads to the power to repurpose robustly. At Microsoft, we understand how to embrace proactively. Do you have a strategy to become bricks-and-clicks? Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be out-of-the-box? Imagine a combination of Java and SMIL. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think ultra-clicks-and-mortar. We will redefine the standard industry buzzword "viral". Do you have a plan to become B2B? It comes off as astonishing, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. If you empower seamlessly, you may have to benchmark intuitively. We often unleash six-sigma back-end ultra-versioning. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things! We think that most intuitive web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough XForms. At Microsoft, we have come to know how to strategize iteravely. It seems unbelievable, but it's entirely 100% realistic! Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be sticky, 60/24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be robust or to be revolutionary? Think one-to-one. We constantly syndicate bleeding-edge accounting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Our feature set is unmatched, but our back-end, six-sigma strategic communities and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think micro-subscriber-defined. We realize that if you target micro-perfectly then you may also whiteboard macro-interactively. We think that most six-sigma, front-end entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough Python. Without well-chosen short-term development, wireless, reconfigurable technologies are forced to become B2B2C.