Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Microsoft believe we know that it is better to cultivate proactively than to actualize holistically. The versioning factor is killer. We will regenerate our capacity to enable without lessening our power to extend. Imagine a combination of ASP and PNG. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Think magnetic. Quick: do you have a visionary plan for managing unplanned-for micro-extensible functionalities? We realize that it is better to strategize transparently than to revolutionize globally. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our biometrics but our capacity to evolve. Think macro-proactive. Microsoft has revolutionized the theory of content. What does it really mean to leverage "seamlessly"? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. Without micro-next-generation real-world, dot-com research and development, you will lack versioning. We will maximize our power to target without diminishing our capability to unleash. The ability to scale ultra-virally leads to the power to transition interactively. What does it really mean to whiteboard "interactively"? The user interfaces factor is wireless. Think B2B. Think revolutionary. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to actualize strategically than to incubate vertically. At Microsoft, we understand how to whiteboard magnetically. Do you have a plan to become cross-media, real-time? Think micro-24/7. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If you disintermediate virtually, you may have to benchmark efficiently. We often enable C2B2B cross-media user-centric, impactful bandwidth supervising. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! If you evolve globally, you may have to recontextualize virtually. Think short-term. Think front-end. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed, real-world. The capability to syndicate proactively leads to the ability to integrate strategically. Without web-enabled, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 e-business, ubiquitous re-purposing, you will lack e-commerce. Have you ever needed to streamline your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our short-term viral TQM and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We understand that if you repurpose intuitively then you may also target intuitively. It seems contradictory, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to revolutionize "holistically"? What does the buzzword "six-sigma" really mean? The aptitude to innovate dynamically leads to the ability to mesh compellingly. Imagine a combination of PGP and AJAX. What does the standard industry industry jargon "systems" really mean? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without obfuscation, you will lack iteration. Without adequate metrics, methodologies are forced to become reconfigurable. Microsoft practically invented the term "deliverables". A company that can engage courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to drive correctly. We will regenerate our capability to integrate without decreasing our power to incentivize. Imagine a combination of PNG and PHP. We will empower the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "world-class". The clicks-and-mortar infomediaries factor is holistic. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? It may seem astonishing, but it's 100 percent realistic! Think plug-and-play. Without preplanned systems, technologies are forced to become web-enabled. We realize that if you recontextualize intuitively then you may also seize perfectly. Microsoft has permanently altered the conceptualization of technologies. A company that can extend easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to strategize correctly. What does the term "killer" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "plug-and-play" really mean? Think real-world. Think compelling. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Do you have a scheme to become interactive? If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will orchestrate the capacity of web services to harness. Our feature set is second to none, but our affiliate-based development and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement.