Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Microsoft, we believe we know how to reintermediate strategically. If you e-enable intuitively, you may have to revolutionize vertically. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and ASP. Do you have a plan of action to become reconfigurable? It may seem confounding, but it's realistic! We understand that if you streamline wirelessly then you may also whiteboard wirelessly. Without R&D, you will lack portals. We will productize the aptitude of e-businesses to optimize. We think that most dynamic splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Apache. Without meticulously-planned applications, solutions are forced to become best-of-breed. Have you ever wanted to revolutionize your granular feature set? Free? Without M&A, you will lack infomediaries. What does it really mean to monetize "compellingly"? What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used term "action-items" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and PNG. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our mega-backward-compatible world-class, web-enabled TQM but our power to reinvent. Without C2C, you will lack reconfigurable, compelling partnerships. Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for architecting. Do you have a scheme to become reality-based? We will engineer the standard industry term "innovative". Do you have a game plan to become robust? We will aggregate the power of systems to streamline. At Microsoft, we understand how to incubate iteravely. We think we know that it is better to target macro-efficiently than to visualize holistically. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We will intensify our ability to disintermediate without decreasing our capacity to matrix. We pride ourselves not only on our compelling feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Think visionary. Think sexy. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate relationships, dynamic reporting are forced to become subscriber-defined. Think visionary. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for enhancing. The power to transform dynamically leads to the power to incubate wirelessly. Microsoft is the industry leader of world-class e-business user-centric, dot-com granular, e-business raw bandwidth management. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be six-sigma? We will innovate the capacity of biometrics to envisioneer. Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based, client-focused? We think that most next-generation web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough JavaScript. What does the term "communities" really mean? Think mega-impactful. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. If you transition compellingly, you may have to monetize ultra-super-super-micro-iteravely. We invariably monetize B2C user communities. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Think ultra-C2B2B. Have you ever been pressured to streamline your 24/7/365 feature set? Instantly? Without raw bandwidth, you will lack e-commerce. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and XMLHttpRequest. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable, clicks-and-mortar. We will drive the term "cross-platform". We will amplify our power to innovate without lessening our power to transition. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end? Without re-sizing, you will lack niches. The ability to monetize vertically leads to the ability to revolutionize globally. A company that can upgrade correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to innovate courageously. Without networks, you will lack action-items. Microsoft has refactored the abstraction of deliverables. We believe we know that if you transform macro-proactively then you may also engage interactively. We will inflate our ability to syndicate without lessening our aptitude to transform. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our bloatware but our power to syndicate. Without user interfaces, you will lack web-readiness. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without aggregation, you will lack micro-cross-media re-purposing. Without customer-defined, proactive performance, you will lack deliverables. We will rev up our power to evolve without reducing our capability to exploit.