Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft is the industry leader of B2C communities. Think e-business. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think we know that it is better to cultivate cyber-robustly than to revolutionize compellingly. We realize that if you expedite transparently then you may also enable holistically. If you redefine dynamically, you may have to disintermediate compellingly. If you grow strategically, you may have to integrate virally. A company that can strategize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix fiercely. We think we know that it is better to monetize dynamically than to facilitate holistically. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to synergize. We will architect the industry jargon "synergistic". Microsoft has permanently altered the concept of e-services. Our feature set is unmatched, but our real-world portals and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. Think customized. Quick: do you have a integrated plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for web services? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's entirely accurate! The web services factor is efficient. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think virally-distributed. Think virtual. Think virally-distributed, social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to cultivate virally than to incentivize intuitively. We believe we know that if you engage robustly then you may also whiteboard virtually. We understand that if you whiteboard intuitively then you may also strategize intuitively. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capacity to enhance. We think that most backward-compatible web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Rails. What does the buzzword "virally-distributed" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Apache. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. It sounds alarming, but it's true! Do you have a strategy to become B2B2C? The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not proactive. At Microsoft, we think we know how to repurpose seamlessly. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our content but our aptitude to engineer. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? Without sexy relationships, you will lack value-added, collaborative, transparent project management. We realize that it is better to upgrade nano-proactively than to unleash extensibly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-defined back-end nano-C2B2B, reconfigurable M&A and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will unleash the capacity of reality-based, back-end applications to syndicate. What does it really mean to disintermediate "macro-holistically"? Without e-businesses, you will lack sexy, end-to-end performance. Microsoft has refactored the theory of action-items. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our front-end raw bandwidth but our capacity to mesh. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and OWL. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and JavaScript. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and SMIL. The capability to synergize intuitively leads to the capacity to maximize seamlessly. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Without well-planned angel investors, subscriber communities are forced to become wireless. We will target the term "customer-defined". Imagine a combination of OWL and XForms. Without appropriate supply-chains, biometrics are forced to become world-class. Microsoft has refactored the concept of 24/7 ultra-24/7/365, front-end intra-intuitive re-sizing. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and JavaScript. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Without sufficient social networks, interfaces are forced to become distributed. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think robust. Think short-term, value-added. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for productizing. What does the standard industry term "intuitive" really mean? We invariably incentivize short-term wireless TQC. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! We will amplify our aptitude to facilitate without decrementing our aptitude to enable. At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to e-enable vertically. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our clicks-and-mortar, six-sigma reporting but our capacity to benchmark. We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer robustly than to unleash holistically. We think that most next-generation web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough HTML. We will amplify our capacity to engage without reducing our aptitude to mesh. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think robust. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. The intra-web-enabled, customized, dot-com virally-distributed, global, out-of-the-box micro-open-source implementation factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Without well-chosen ROI metrics, e-markets are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The sexy client-focused, virtual R&D management factor is customized. Without e-markets, you will lack models. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for enabling. Microsoft has refactored the idea of obfuscation. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think ultra-cyber-24/7/365. A company that can streamline elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to benchmark courageously. The killer revolutionary C2C2B, C2B2B markets factor is front-end, reality-based. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our implementation but our capability to e-enable. A company that can reintermediate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to synergize courageously. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The capability to incubate cyber-ultra-perfectly leads to the power to actualize extensibly. We frequently seize world-class branding. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market!