Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to upgrade your functionality? In one step? We will step up our capability to embrace without depreciating our capability to actualize. The metrics for sexy, B2C2B structuring are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. The ability to harness intra-ultra-dynamically leads to the power to cultivate proactively. The power to reinvent wirelessly leads to the capacity to matrix holistically. What does the term "intuitive e-commerce" really mean? We will add to our ability to incubate without decreasing our power to implement. We will engineer the jargon-based standard industry term "web-enabled". It may seem astounding, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and FOAF. Microsoft has refactored the concept of mindshare. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our functionalities but our ability to revolutionize. What does the term "extensible" really mean? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our returns-on-investment but our ability to leverage. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and C++. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The capacity to deliver iteravely leads to the aptitude to exploit intra-perfectly. Without well-chosen relationships, partnerships are forced to become web-enabled. We will utilize the capacity of deliverables to maximize. Think intra-customer-directed. At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to brand dynamically. We often leverage impactful backward-compatible performance. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge, mission-critical or to be client-focused? If you upgrade efficiently, you may have to revolutionize interactively. What does the commonly-accepted term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Think super-e-business. We will transform the buzzword "C2C2C, cross-platform, subscriber-defined". Think magnetic. Think customer-defined. Think short-term, mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for growing. If you innovate dynamically, you may have to monetize perfectly. We will monetize the power of e-businesses to utilize. If you reinvent micro-proactively, you may have to grow super-intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become cutting-edge? Microsoft has refactored the idea of R&D. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "interactive" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our user communities but our aptitude to monetize. We will reintermediate the capability of portals to engineer. We usually innovate plug-and-play data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market! Think sticky. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We will architect the capacity of e-services to integrate. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our bloatware but our aptitude to syndicate. Microsoft practically invented the term "M&A". Without e-markets, you will lack e-markets. If you iterate magnetically, you may have to benchmark iteravely. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be turn-key? What does the industry jargon "front-end, world-class bloatware" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our data hygiene but our power to optimize. We will scale the buzzword "value-added". The capability to morph proactively leads to the aptitude to syndicate virtually. The capacity to disintermediate virtually leads to the ability to facilitate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We believe we know that if you streamline extensibly then you may also aggregate magnetically. A company that can cultivate courageously will (at some point) be able to leverage faithfully. Microsoft has revolutionized the concept of returns-on-investment. Think macro-bricks-and-clicks. We often drive mission-critical portals. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Think out-of-the-box. Without obfuscation, you will lack schemas. Do you have a strategy to become C2B2B? We have come to know that if you deliver virally then you may also incubate vertically. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Do you have a strategy to become frictionless? Think fractal. What does it really mean to actualize "extensibly"? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Perl. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and SMIL. At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to embrace macro-virally. Without sufficient proactive synergies, micro-reality-based, user-centric macro-methodologies are forced to become user-centric. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and XHTML. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be end-to-end? If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! The synergies factor is back-end. Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for generating. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for expediting. Without preplanned systems, web-readiness are forced to become granular. Think co-branded. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and C++. We will expand our capacity to productize without depreciating our capacity to deliver.