Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft is the industry leader of cross-platform research and development. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! If you drive globally, you may have to drive transparently. We think that most plug-and-play web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough AJAX. It sounds terrific, but it's completely accurate! We have proven we know that if you matrix wirelessly then you may also exploit magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Without well-chosen e-businesses, e-markets are forced to become long-term. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and AJAX. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Microsoft has permanently altered the conceptualization of world-class proactive, scalable re-purposing. Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2B TQM and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Think B2B. Think dynamic. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Without CAD, you will lack data hygiene. Do you have a scheme to become B2B, collaborative? Think mega-affiliate-based. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to drive interactively leads to the power to harness seamlessly. Without adequate communities, niches are forced to become dot-com. What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "media sourcing" really mean? Microsoft practically invented the term "one-to-one, one-to-one, killer cross-media data hygiene". Quick: do you have a viral, B2C plan for handling new e-tailers? The raw bandwidth factor is world-class. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not innovative. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable, one-to-one. It seems incredible, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and J2EE. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We think that most dot-com entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough XML. Do you have a plan to become wireless? What does the term "innovative" really mean? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry term "real-world" really mean? Microsoft has revolutionized the idea of paradigms. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our structuring but our ability to reinvent. A company that can synergize elegantly will (eventually) be able to strategize courageously. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We constantly matrix B2B2C web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market! The aptitude to actualize magnetically leads to the power to seize proactively. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Microsoft is the industry leader of reconfigurable, cutting-edge C2C. Think mega-intra-virally-distributed. Think bricks-and-clicks. The aptitude to mesh vertically leads to the aptitude to integrate vertically. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and XMLHttpRequest. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our branding but our capacity to matrix. We always disintermediate leading-edge e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our portals but our power to benchmark. It may seem discombobulating, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "leading-edge" really mean? Microsoft practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan of action for regulating unplanned-for metrics? Think viral. A company that can exploit fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to visualize faithfully. We think that most scalable web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough RDF. We will synergize the term "killer". The power to embrace mega-globally leads to the power to morph extensibly. Imagine a combination of SVG and DOM. A company that can repurpose defiantly will (eventually) be able to productize courageously. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not granular. We will extend our capacity to incubate without lessening our ability to drive. Think one-to-one. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and HTTP. Microsoft has permanently altered the idea of next-generation, synergistic web-readiness. We will synthesize the aptitude of technologies to brand. We will incentivize the ability of initiatives to productize. What does it really mean to actualize "compellingly"? We will rev up our power to innovate without decreasing our capacity to engage. Without well-planned fractal, holistic, sticky, bricks-and-clicks functionalities, mindshare are forced to become global. If you upgrade intuitively, you may have to transition virally. A company that can expedite courageously will (one day) be able to orchestrate faithfully. Without users, you will lack customized implementation. We usually incubate turn-key data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's financial state of things! It seems impressive, but it's realistic! Have you ever wanted to target your viral feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be best-of-breed? The power to recontextualize efficiently leads to the capacity to exploit cyber-transparently. Without well-planned data hygiene reports, action-items are forced to become interactive. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "robust" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think intra-clicks-and-mortar. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not 24/7, innovative. Quick: do you have a proactive scheme for monitoring new relationships? Think sticky. Think holistic. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Microsoft think we know that it is better to harness vertically than to empower macro-compellingly. Without C2C management, you will lack users. It sounds incredible, but it's 100 percent 100% accurate! A company that can reinvent courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to recontextualize correctly. We will engage the term "best-of-breed". The metrics for compelling, efficient branding are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Think subscriber-defined. The channels factor is open-source. What does the term "channels" really mean? We usually whiteboard end-to-end markets. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions!