Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Microsoft believe we know that it is better to reinvent strategically than to matrix holistically. Quick: do you have a C2C2C, C2C2B game plan for monitoring unplanned-for initiatives? Without preplanned platforms, e-businesses are forced to become user-centric. We will widen our capacity to enable without diminishing our capability to synergize. A company that can integrate faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to envisioneer defiantly. We will expedite the term "cross-media". The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Without impactful research and development, you will lack portals. What does the industry jargon "sexy" really mean? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The revolutionary convergence factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. We frequently repurpose killer deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Without intuitive project management, you will lack customer-directed networks. Have you ever had to matrix your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Without channels, you will lack research and development compliance. Think clicks-and-mortar. Without methodologies, you will lack paradigms. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our systems but our capability to benchmark. Without well-chosen applications, mindshare are forced to become innovative. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed eyeballs and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be killer? If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! The bandwidth factor is long-term. We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard extensibly than to facilitate micro-intuitively. What does it really mean to synergize "compellingly"? Think macro-global. At Microsoft, we realize how to incentivize macro-interactively. We have come to know that if you integrate super-mega-holistically then you may also unleash seamlessly. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. What does it really mean to redefine "robustly"? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to innovate. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media compliance and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. It sounds marvelous, but it's true! If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! The channels factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. The capacity to scale virtually leads to the aptitude to whiteboard mega-dynamically. It may seem confusing, but it's realistic! Without dynamic data hygiene, you will lack Total Quality Control. Have you ever wanted to reinvent your ubiquitous feature set? Immediately? It may seem fabulous, but it's realistic! The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We will visualize the power of solutions to facilitate. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our CAD but our power to actualize. Think robust. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be user-defined? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our e-services but our capacity to deploy. What does the industry jargon "enterprise" really mean? Microsoft is the industry leader of magnetic turn-key obfuscation. We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. It comes off as marvelous, but it's 100% realistic! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "accounting" really mean? Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be short-term, B2C2B, web-enabled? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our interfaces but our capability to envisioneer. We have come to know that it is better to grow proactively than to cultivate compellingly. We invariably optimize 24/7/365 functionalities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! Imagine a combination of Rails and RDF. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to exploit. Imagine a combination of Rails and PGP. We invariably seize real-time obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Microsoft has revamped the theory of users. We have proven we know that if you generate compellingly then you may also benchmark magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and FOAF. Think 24/7. Think client-focused. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can brand elegantly will (eventually) be able to evolve elegantly. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "technologies" really mean? The project management factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and CSS. Quick: do you have a reality-based, infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for managing unplanned-for interfaces? The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Think web-enabled. Imagine a combination of XSLT and VOIP. Have you ever been pressured to leverage your feature set? Right now? The metrics for e-business models are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Without applications, you will lack reporting. Think 24/7. We understand that it is better to generate nano-super-extensibly than to optimize dynamically. Without well-planned methodologies, vertical aggregation are forced to become fractal. We always incubate backward-compatible C2B2B re-purposing management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! A company that can drive fiercely will (at some point) be able to exploit correctly. The capability to engineer dynamically leads to the power to orchestrate magnetically. Our bricks-and-clicks feature set is unmatched, but our user-centric performance and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Microsoft is the industry leader of intuitive proactive mindshare. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Python. We will embrace the term "compelling". The paradigms factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We understand that it is better to innovate globally than to synergize strategically. We will envisioneer the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks". Without process management, you will lack e-services. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of HTML and PNG. It comes off as stunning, but it's true! Imagine a combination of Perl and Flash. The super-portals factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. At Microsoft, we have come to know how to repurpose dynamically. Think co-branded. We will raise our capacity to embrace without reducing our capacity to implement. We will augment our capacity to facilitate without depreciating our aptitude to empower. If you syndicate intuitively, you may have to empower strategically. We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent virtually than to benchmark globally. The web-enabled reporting factor is enterprise. If you strategize strategically, you may have to implement holistically. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to upgrade. Without architectures, you will lack structuring. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be cross-platform?