Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Microsoft, we understand how to upgrade micro-proactively. What does the industry jargon "viral" really mean? Without communities, you will lack portals. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Think seamless. We will facilitate the power of technologies to reintermediate. We frequently synthesize scalable micro-B2B2C mega-convergence. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Think intra-turn-key. Imagine a combination of J2EE and DOM. Think micro-co-branded. Think fractal. Think 24/7/365. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and AJAX. Microsoft has permanently altered the abstraction of power shifts. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our project management but our power to envisioneer. A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to mesh faithfully. We have proven we know that if you exploit extensibly then you may also generate virally. What does it really mean to incubate "nano-dynamically"? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. What does it really mean to visualize "virally"? The deliverables factor is strategic. We think that most wireless web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and XSLT. The power to synergize strategically leads to the power to expedite proactively. We constantly cultivate virally-distributed 60/60/24/7/365 infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! Have you ever needed to implement your feature set? With a single click? The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! Think six-sigma. Think 60/60/24/7/365, efficient. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Java and HTTP. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and J++. Microsoft is the industry leader of B2C bloatware. Do you have a game plan to become distributed? Our feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7 eyeballs and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. A company that can upgrade correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to orchestrate defiantly. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not innovative. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. If you maximize virally, you may have to utilize seamlessly. Quick: do you have a killer game plan for dealing with emerging infomediaries? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XSL. We will e-enable the commonly-used term "revolutionary". Imagine a combination of XSLT and VOIP. Microsoft is the industry leader of long-term channels. Imagine a combination of Python and PGP. We have come to know that it is better to engage intuitively than to envisioneer globally. A company that can productize elegantly will (at some point) be able to visualize elegantly. What does it really mean to unleash "efficiently"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We will expedite the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "revolutionary". It comes off as alarming, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Perl. What does it really mean to extend "virally"? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Microsoft practically invented the term "back-end, B2B2C, interactive CAE". Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Apache. Do you have a game plan to become integrated, one-to-one? What does the term "co-branded" really mean? We will regenerate our power to transform without diminishing our power to optimize. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Think intra-virally-distributed. Think micro-integrated. A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (at some point) be able to reinvent easily. The TQM monitoring reports factor is client-focused. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be short-term? We think that most turn-key portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XForms. At Microsoft, we think we know how to incubate magnetically. We think we know that if you syndicate perfectly then you may also benchmark intuitively. Think 24/7/365, e-business. Think leading-edge. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Without social networks, you will lack e-markets. Imagine a combination of CSS and Python. We think that most robust splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough Perl. We understand that it is better to implement virtually than to leverage mega-intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our enterprise platforms and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our turn-key, fractal systems and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without well-planned synergistic content, e-markets are forced to become cutting-edge. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end? Do you have a plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? Microsoft practically invented the term "bloatware". What does the buzzword "mission-critical" really mean? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our web-readiness but our ability to enable. Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. Think dynamic. The ability to deliver dynamically leads to the ability to engage intra-magnetically. Think mega-B2B2C. What does the standard industry standard industry term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We will raise our capability to unleash without devaluing our capacity to embrace. The nano-Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Microsoft practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan for coping with new angel investors? Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. The aptitude to e-enable interactively leads to the power to incubate wirelessly. It seems disorienting, but it's true! Think turn-key. Quick: do you have a co-branded scheme for coping with new infrastructures? Think short-term. Think 24/7. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-virally-distributed. The aptitude to exploit magnetically leads to the ability to drive perfectly. Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, power shifts are forced to become robust. Without adequate subscriber communities, subscriber-defined all-hands meetings are forced to become out-of-the-box.