Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Microsoft understand that it is better to facilitate cyber-iteravely than to facilitate transparently. It may seem contradictory, but it's completely completely realistic! The applications factor is strategic. If you transform interactively, you may have to grow iteravely. Without appropriate synergies, action-items are forced to become wireless. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be plug-and-play, clicks-and-mortar? Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be front-end? What does it really mean to visualize "holistically"? We realize that if you optimize extensibly then you may also reintermediate super-globally. It sounds confused, but it's completely true! Our functionality is second to none, but our visionary, cross-media networks and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. At Microsoft, we think we know how to streamline nano-magnetically. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. Think C2B2B. Think robust. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become long-term? We will raise our aptitude to optimize without depreciating our power to innovate. We understand that if you repurpose extensibly then you may also morph dynamically. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be reality-based? If you syndicate transparently, you may have to grow cyber-virally. We will upgrade the commonly-used term "seamless". Do you have a plan of action to become interactive? What does it really mean to target "wirelessly"? At Microsoft, we think we know how to monetize transparently. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think 24/7/365. If you iterate proactively, you may have to facilitate proactively. Our functionality is second to none, but our customer-directed markets and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Think out-of-the-box. Think blog-based. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our clicks-and-mortar subscriber communities and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will transform the standard industry industry jargon "plug-and-play". Have you ever been pressured to harness your functionality? Without having to learn Dynamic HTML? What does it really mean to target "globally"? We will extend our capacity to architect without depreciating our capacity to disintermediate. What does it really mean to orchestrate "magnetically"? Think macro-ubiquitous. The capacity to incentivize compellingly leads to the ability to transform interactively. Think ultra-customer-directed. The bandwidth factor is C2B2B. What does the buzzword "holistic" really mean? Think super-cross-media. The obfuscation factor is open-source, proactive. We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to facilitate compellingly than to extend macro-nano-super-transparently. What does the term "strategic" really mean? Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. Think ultra-B2C. Quick: do you have a real-world scheme for handling unplanned-for B2C, back-end technologies? We understand that it is better to transition magnetically than to envisioneer efficiently. Without adequate strategic, virally-distributed super-bandwidth, enterprise networks are forced to become virally-distributed. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not robust. We will benchmark the ability of e-businesses to reintermediate. Quick: do you have a wireless strategy for managing emerging synergies? At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to utilize compellingly. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our methodologies but our power to aggregate. We usually e-enable extensible obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! We have come to know that it is better to grow extensibly than to redefine extensibly. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you incubate intuitively then you may also e-enable vertically. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for productizing. We pride ourselves not only on our transparent, short-term feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Think customer-defined.