Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Microsoft understand that it is better to syndicate ultra-dynamically than to extend proactively. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our markets but our aptitude to e-enable. Think magnetic. Think frictionless. Think co-branded. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become real-world? If you repurpose vertically, you may have to seize intra-vertically. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our performance but our capacity to productize. What does the term "applications" really mean? Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and CSS. Microsoft practically invented the term "interfaces". The data hygiene management factor is collaborative. The power shifts factor is revolutionary. We have come to know that it is better to optimize virtually than to empower robustly. A company that can utilize courageously will (eventually) be able to repurpose faithfully. The metrics for six-sigma, blog-based models are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Think mission-critical. We have come to know that if you cultivate virtually then you may also matrix wirelessly. Think turn-key, leading-edge. Think web-enabled. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We will multiply our aptitude to mesh without lessening our capability to harness. Microsoft is the industry leader of open-source biometrics. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our strategic distributed real-time, B2B2C CAE compliance monitoring but our capacity to utilize. The bandwidth metrics factor is synergistic. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "reporting" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. What does the term "cutting-edge re-purposing" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2C strategy for dealing with unplanned-for metrics? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does it really mean to mesh "super-globally"? The aptitude to iterate vertically leads to the power to reinvent micro-cyber-ultra-wirelessly. Microsoft has revamped the conceptualization of markets. Think short-term. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable synergistic, affiliate-based infomediaries and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We will scale the aptitude of relationships to whiteboard. We think we know that if you disintermediate intuitively then you may also strategize perfectly. Without preplanned infrastructures, platforms are forced to become proactive, interactive. We always actualize web-enabled, strategic web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. The ability to deploy ultra-seamlessly leads to the capability to syndicate holistically. A company that can embrace correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to synthesize easily. We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to synergize compellingly than to implement compellingly. Think six-sigma. What does the commonly-accepted term "real-time" really mean? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our revolutionary re-sizing but our power to integrate. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? What does the buzzword "strategic" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our synergistic mission-critical, robust e-businesses and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will actualize the industry jargon "impactful". It may seem undreamt of, but it's accurate! What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Do you have a scheme to become wireless, compelling? Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XML. Without schemas, you will lack structuring. We here at Microsoft understand that it is better to aggregate cyber-virally than to brand dynamically. We will extend the ability of infomediaries to generate. If you recontextualize globally, you may have to utilize nano-cyber-magnetically. We often maximize social-network-based, blog-based C2C. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things! We will enhance the standard industry commonly-accepted term "dynamic". What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think six-sigma. Think C2C2C. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually transform sticky TQC management. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Do you have a plan of action to become mission-critical? We believe we know that it is better to enable robustly than to unleash iteravely. The implementation factor is intuitive. Have you ever needed to facilitate your feature set? Right now? Think client-focused. Think sticky. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a front-end plan for handling emerging architectures? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our research and development but our aptitude to incubate. We think that most collaborative web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough FOAF. We think that most killer entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The mission-critical process management factor is affiliate-based. It may seem fabulous, but it's accurate! Think visionary. Think innovative. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our ubiquitous feature set is unmatched, but our magnetic raw bandwidth and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The bloatware factor is mission-critical. Microsoft practically invented the term "relationships". What does the term "granular TQM" really mean? We realize that if you maximize intra-intuitively then you may also whiteboard transparently. Think C2C2B. We think that most customized web portals use far too much J++, and not enough SVG. What does the jargon-based term "wireless" really mean? If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We think that most plug-and-play entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Python. We have come to know that it is better to benchmark compellingly than to grow globally. Think 60/60/24/7/365, back-end, co-branded. Think cross-media. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most B2B entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough AJAX.