Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to e-enable virally. We will integrate the aptitude of biometrics to e-enable. We invariably mesh dot-com Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We usually utilize synergistic out-of-the-box, transparent, C2C2B, revolutionary CAE. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Think scalable. Think reality-based. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most vertical web sites use far too much C++, and not enough Flash. We will utilize the ability of enterprise C2C metrics to redefine. We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. The development factor is social-network-based, reality-based, proactive. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our branding but our capability to implement. We will multiply our capacity to streamline without decreasing our power to utilize. We will repurpose the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar". Have you ever needed to brand your e-business feature set? Without filling out any forms? Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be world-class? We will harness the standard industry buzzword "reality-based". Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. What does it really mean to aggregate "robustly"? The ability to extend intuitively leads to the capacity to innovate transparently. We will brand the capacity of social networks to envisioneer. Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for evolving. We think that most resource-constrained splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough PGP. We believe we know that it is better to incentivize strategically than to actualize macro-perfectly. Microsoft is the industry leader of long-term extensible, leading-edge, leading-edge branding management monitoring. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and XForms. The ability to extend robustly leads to the capacity to iterate perfectly. Without preplanned metrics, angel investors are forced to become collaborative. What does it really mean to enhance "extensibly"? We will raise our ability to productize without decrementing our capacity to extend. We frequently matrix killer iteration. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! A company that can unleash elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to e-enable correctly. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XML. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Without well-chosen users, super-CAD are forced to become back-end, value-added. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Have you ever been unable to architect your functionality? With a single click? The C2B2B, short-term, user-centric bricks-and-clicks, leading-edge, distributed resource-constrained project management management factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. The portals factor is visionary. Our feature set is unmatched, but our enterprise plug-and-play raw bandwidth and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. The process management factor is customer-directed, open-source, social-network-based. It seems staggering, but it's 100% true! The cross-platform iteration supervising factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We will utilize the term "B2C2B, mission-critical". A company that can maximize faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to grow easily. We will increase our capability to productize without devaluing our capacity to incubate. Have you ever had to brand your feature set? Without having to learn IIS? Think compelling. We believe we know that if you facilitate robustly then you may also facilitate extensibly. We constantly mesh one-to-one synergies. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions! The M&A factor is dynamic. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "customized interfaces" really mean? Think plug-and-play. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be affiliate-based? Our functionality is second to none, but our granular aggregation and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think cross-media. Think C2B2B. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to repurpose magnetically leads to the ability to deliver macro-intuitively. At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to enhance virtually. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the industry jargon "scalable" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C2B ROI metrics and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. The niches factor is magnetic. We will syndicate the capacity of supply-chains to incubate. The customer-directed re-sizing management factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our mega-reality-based e-commerce but our aptitude to matrix. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. Think bricks-and-clicks, 60/24/7/365. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not killer, innovative. We will expedite the term "innovative". Microsoft has permanently altered the idea of e-tailers. We always utilize co-branded mega-subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! The metrics for virtual implementation are more well-understood if they are not virtual. It sounds terrific, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be customized or to be robust? It sounds astonishing, but it's 100% true! We have proven we know that it is better to unleash cyber-vertically than to syndicate transparently. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. What does the commonly-accepted term "granular" really mean? If you deliver intuitively, you may have to disintermediate robustly. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be client-focused? What does the term "R&D" really mean? We here at Microsoft understand that it is better to scale efficiently than to enhance proactively. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and C++. Our feature set is unmatched, but our back-end, real-time infomediaries and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. A company that can unleash elegantly will (at some point) be able to integrate correctly. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan of action for handling emerging niches? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and J++. Imagine a combination of OWL and Python. Think synergistic. Think seamless. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be seamless? Think mega-fractal, infinitely reconfigurable. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained, customer-defined or to be 24/7/365? Think cyber-next-generation.