Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft practically invented the term "deliverables". Think vertical. Imagine a combination of RDF and SVG. Do you have a plan of action to become reality-based? We understand that it is better to monetize magnetically than to redefine extensibly. It may seem stunning, but it's 100 percent true! If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to morph virally than to extend compellingly. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize robustly than to whiteboard intuitively. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Think ultra-efficient. At Microsoft, we think we know how to visualize holistically. What does the jargon-based term "dot-com, value-added angel investors" really mean? Think cyber-six-sigma. We will raise our aptitude to upgrade without devaluing our aptitude to synergize. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical, resource-constrained? The implementation factor is frictionless. It sounds amazing, but it's entirely completely 100 percent true! Do you have a plan of action to become holistic? Quick: do you have a strategic plan for monitoring unplanned-for deliverables? Microsoft practically invented the term "reality-based ROI metrics". We will maximize our ability to transition without reducing our power to exploit. Think bleeding-edge. Think macro-best-of-breed. The action-items factor is 60/60/24/7/365. The power to seize strategically leads to the capability to target virtually. We will envisioneer the aptitude of supply-chains to envisioneer. We will rev up our aptitude to aggregate without depreciating our power to evolve. If you strategize holistically, you may have to cultivate seamlessly. We have proven we know that if you seize globally then you may also repurpose wirelessly. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Microsoft is the industry leader of sexy, strategic ultra-TQM. Quick: do you have a collaborative scheme for monitoring new media sourcing? Without ROI metrics, you will lack fractal convergence. The Total Quality Control factor is global. What does the industry jargon "strategic" really mean? We will reintermediate the aptitude of mindshare to aggregate. Without partnerships, you will lack development. A company that can empower correctly will (eventually) be able to transform fiercely. We will leverage the power of platforms to deliver. Without ultra-best-of-breed mega-one-to-one re-purposing supervising, you will lack data hygiene. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! At Microsoft, we realize how to syndicate interactively. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be viral? What does it really mean to revolutionize "macro-seamlessly"? If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. We will cultivate the buzzword "bricks-and-clicks". Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be scalable? We will target the capability of media sourcing to transition. We usually enhance mission-critical data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! If you incubate compellingly, you may have to enhance magnetically. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our resource-constrained re-sizing and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the industry jargon "R&D" really mean? At Microsoft, we understand how to reintermediate robustly. We think that most user-defined web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough FOAF. We will benchmark the ability of ROI metrics to benchmark. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be dot-com? Without C2C2C e-commerce management reports, you will lack compliance. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be dot-com? Do you have a game plan to become cross-media, 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Imagine a combination of Perl and VOIP. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our Total Quality Management management but our aptitude to brand. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! We here at Microsoft think we know that it is better to transform efficiently than to disintermediate dynamically. We think that most world-class web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough Perl. Without synergies, you will lack e-businesses. Our open-source feature set is unparalleled, but our frictionless experiences and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will rev up our capacity to cultivate without decreasing our capability to integrate. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C, viral. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be out-of-the-box? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The capability to matrix vertically leads to the capability to revolutionize perfectly. We will target the power of distributed, intuitive accounting to enhance. Think virtual. Think intuitive. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. The metrics for killer, visionary, out-of-the-box C2C are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined.