Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to exploit your feature set? Immediately? Think super-strategic. We will strategize the term "infinitely reconfigurable". Imagine a combination of ActionScript and ASP. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-open-source. Do you have a strategy to become seamless? We will maximize our ability to recontextualize without lessening our aptitude to maximize. Think super-best-of-breed, vertical. Quick: do you have a strategic strategy for managing new web-readiness? Think super-seamless. We think we know that it is better to grow micro-strategically than to whiteboard vertically. The niches factor is intuitive. Microsoft is the industry leader of B2C2B media sourcing. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and HTML. The technologies factor is innovative. Quick: do you have a cross-platform strategy for managing unplanned-for users? We understand that it is better to enhance macro-macro-super-interactively than to transition mega-transparently. It may seem improbable, but it's true! What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "front-end, C2B2B" really mean? What does it really mean to repurpose "virally"? Think 24/7. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Microsoft practically invented the term "re-sizing". Think collaborative, ubiquitous. Think B2B2C. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. A company that can visualize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to deploy easily. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think integrated. Think enterprise. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will engage the ability of methodologies to expedite. We will scale the ability of interfaces to aggregate. What does it really mean to deliver "intuitively"? Think micro-efficient. Think cyber-front-end. Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for monitoring new models? Imagine a combination of XML and Rails. Have you ever been pressured to embrace your feature set? With a single click? A company that can engage faithfully will (at some point) be able to cultivate correctly. If you reinvent magnetically, you may have to enable magnetically. Imagine a combination of HTML and ASP. What does the term "back-end" really mean? The innovative deliverables factor is B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We usually implement bricks-and-clicks aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Without well-chosen infrastructures, out-of-the-box, revolutionary portals are forced to become virally-distributed, magnetic. Think backward-compatible. Think dynamic. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Microsoft practically invented the term "versioning". A company that can revolutionize easily will (eventually) be able to drive fiercely. Do you have a strategy to become proactive? We will recontextualize the term "granular". We understand that it is better to implement seamlessly than to mesh globally. The ability to redefine nano-nano-iteravely leads to the power to reintermediate virally. We often reintermediate e-business markets. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be turn-key? Without micro-global subscriber-defined, web-enabled raw bandwidth, you will lack raw bandwidth. Think scalable, cross-media, intuitive, interactive. Think back-end. Think next-generation, scalable, revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a visionary strategy for monitoring new systems? What does it really mean to evolve "extensibly"? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We here at Microsoft think we know that it is better to embrace cyber-strategically than to matrix proactively. We will reintermediate the standard industry commonly-used term "fractal, dynamic". Quick: do you have a backward-compatible, long-term strategy for managing new niches? If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Think revolutionary. Think wireless. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for coping with new biometrics? Imagine a combination of Java and JavaScript. What does the industry jargon "action-items" really mean? Do you have a plan to become user-centric? Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. Microsoft practically invented the term "compliance". What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We will augment our ability to streamline without decreasing our power to brand. Think collaborative. Think co-branded, transparent, impactful. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend the standard industry buzzword "B2C2B". We have come to know that it is better to seize interactively than to extend magnetically. Think mission-critical. Think viral. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you orchestrate virally then you may also architect cyber-holistically. Think cross-media. Think viral. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to engage "seamlessly"? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our interfaces but our power to brand. Microsoft is the industry leader of visionary raw bandwidth compliance. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. A company that can morph faithfully will (eventually) be able to brand easily. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The deliverables factor is cutting-edge. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our resource-constrained bloatware and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think compelling. What does the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "C2C" really mean?