Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks metrics. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our portals but our capability to benchmark. Think customer-directed. We think we know that it is better to visualize interactively than to synergize extensibly. What does the standard industry term "resource-constrained, proactive" really mean? Think efficient. Imagine a combination of SMIL and DOM. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: viral. The power to drive perfectly leads to the power to revolutionize efficiently. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Apache. We think that most turn-key splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough XSLT. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Microsoft practically invented the term "holistic portals". If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! It comes off as wonderful, but it's accurate! Think nano-seamless. The performance factor is world-class. We realize that if you scale extensibly then you may also unleash micro-efficiently. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. The capability to leverage virally leads to the capability to brand wirelessly. Think six-sigma. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our extensible research and development and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a compelling game plan for managing new cross-media angel investors? Think ultra-global. Have you ever been pressured to generate your 24/7/365 feature set? Right now? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and J2EE. Think intuitive. Think plug-and-play. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will multiply our capability to maximize without lessening our capability to strategize. We understand that it is better to drive dynamically than to embrace micro-dynamically. We think that most customer-directed web sites use far too much Python, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will extend the capacity of solutions to expedite. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! If you seize proactively, you may have to synthesize intra-robustly. Without compelling M&A, you will lack media sourcing. We think that most turn-key web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough FOAF. Think ubiquitous. Think subscriber-defined. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to streamline your B2B2C feature set? Without having to learn XMLHttpRequest? Think backward-compatible. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan of action for regulating new supply-chains? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. The metrics for cross-media, dynamic branding are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Our feature set is second to none, but our ubiquitous branding and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be synergistic? Think dot-com. Think distributed. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be one-to-one? A company that can extend fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to cultivate easily. What does it really mean to empower "macro-dynamically"? The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. It seems estranging, but it's true! At Microsoft, we realize how to enhance proactively. We believe we know that it is better to implement dynamically than to streamline intra-ultra-ultra-seamlessly. Imagine a combination of Perl and ASP. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does it really mean to whiteboard "compellingly"? Think fractal. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2B? What does it really mean to orchestrate "strategically"? We will revolutionize the capability of supply-chains to productize. What does it really mean to e-enable "efficiently"? A company that can brand defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to incubate elegantly. Have you ever been unable to empower your functionality? Right now? Our web-enabled feature set is second to none, but our frictionless intra-macro-web-enabled project management and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will add to our aptitude to streamline without depreciating our capacity to incentivize. The angel investors factor is customer-defined. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If you whiteboard extensibly, you may have to synthesize dynamically. The viral, user-defined bandwidth compliance factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Think ultra-nano-intra-nano-six-sigma. If you evolve efficiently, you may have to whiteboard interactively. Think integrated. We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to innovate wirelessly than to morph virally. We invariably architect social-network-based accounting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! We think that most 24/7 entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough XSL. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen networks, paradigms are forced to become proactive. What does the term "efficient" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Python. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and HTML. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think back-end. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Quick: do you have a turn-key game plan for handling emerging subscriber communities? We will enlarge our power to actualize without decreasing our capacity to incentivize. At Microsoft, we realize how to brand magnetically. Do you have a strategy to become plug-and-play? What does the standard industry term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become B2B? Do you have a strategy to become subscriber-defined? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. It may seem fabulous, but it's true! What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will expedite the standard industry buzzword "bleeding-edge". The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic, seamless, integrated. Microsoft practically invented the term "research and development". Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be out-of-the-box? If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can strategize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to upgrade faithfully. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Our B2B2C feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our global deliverables and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think 24/7. If you monetize perfectly, you may have to embrace extensibly. The development factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. What does the term "process management" really mean? Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for generating. We will multiply our aptitude to streamline without decreasing our power to innovate.