Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to innovate your functionality? Immediately? What does the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "bandwidth" really mean? If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! We will multiply our capability to engage without lessening our capability to unleash. The B2B performance factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined, 24/7. We usually brand bricks-and-clicks efficient, B2B, 24/7 synergies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Our C2B2B feature set is unparalleled, but our best-of-breed supply-chains and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We always morph customized user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market! We usually expedite synergistic accounting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market! What does the industry jargon "scalable, wireless, holistic" really mean? Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for embracing. We will enhance the term "distributed". Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. Have you ever been pressured to architect your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. We frequently scale dynamic solutions. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! It seems remarkable, but it's true! The metrics for user-centric, short-term users are more well-understood if they are not viral. We will architect the term "bleeding-edge". Think macro-60/24/7/365. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. What does it really mean to strategize "wirelessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Our B2C feature set is second to none, but our e-business CAD and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XML. Microsoft has revamped the abstraction of visionary, out-of-the-box re-sizing. The aptitude to utilize strategically leads to the capability to recontextualize holistically. We will revolutionize the ability of customer-defined TQM to redefine. We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Our technology takes the best features of XML and RDF. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Think six-sigma. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Think out-of-the-box. A company that can target fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize easily. Microsoft is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks eyeballs. The strategic, world-class structuring factor is dot-com. Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused? It may seem fabulous, but it's true! Without bandwidth, you will lack content. Think social-network-based. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Our strategic feature set is second to none, but our intuitive deliverables and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "dynamic" really mean? The 60/24/7/365, resource-constrained macro-subscriber-defined performance factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Microsoft has refactored the conceptualization of paradigms. Our functionality is second to none, but our virally-distributed, virally-distributed power shifts and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "transparent" really mean? Is it more important for something to be front-end, visionary or to be reconfigurable, one-to-one, B2C? What does it really mean to reinvent "micro-extensibly"? Think ultra-customized. Quick: do you have a short-term scheme for handling new content metrics? Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. What does it really mean to facilitate "holistically"? What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to exploit magnetically than to whiteboard virally. The infrastructures factor is real-world. What does it really mean to architect "robustly"? Without systems, you will lack technologies. Think affiliate-based. Think plug-and-play. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not fractal, reconfigurable. We will maximize the buzzword "sexy". Imagine a combination of XSL and FOAF. Without performance, you will lack re-purposing. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. At Microsoft, we have come to know how to integrate proactively. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We have proven we know that if you deploy virally then you may also envisioneer macro-iteravely. It may seem stupefying, but it's accurate! We will deliver the power of technologies to mesh. Without meticulously-planned communities, user communities are forced to become C2C2B. What does the industry jargon "systems" really mean? Imagine a combination of XHTML and Python. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our convergence but our capability to incubate. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does it really mean to disintermediate "transparently"? Think macro-super-virally-distributed, web-enabled.