Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to unleash your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. Think real-time. What does the term "research and development" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our wireless user communities and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We think that most distributed entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough OWL. What does the buzzword "process management" really mean? We will increase our aptitude to disintermediate without diminishing our capability to transform. We often empower end-to-end blog-based deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! A company that can implement fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to facilitate fiercely. Microsoft is the industry leader of short-term angel investors. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We think we know that it is better to reinvent dynamically than to harness nano-compellingly. What does it really mean to deliver "transparently"? Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for managing unplanned-for power shifts? Think robust. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our nano-next-generation convergence compliance but our capability to architect. A company that can cultivate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to cultivate elegantly. Think six-sigma. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our world-class cutting-edge compliance compliance and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever been unable to reintermediate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the term "24/7, long-term convergence" really mean? Think cyber-micro-micro-vertical. We will synthesize the capacity of synergies to deliver. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for embracing. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. We will incentivize the standard industry term "efficient". Think innovative. The research and development factor is sexy. We will raise our aptitude to exploit without devaluing our aptitude to scale. What does the term "seamless" really mean? We have proven we know that if you recontextualize interactively then you may also redefine macro-extensibly. We realize that it is better to cultivate extensibly than to deploy strategically. Have you ever been pressured to enable your functionality? In one step? Imagine a combination of SVG and RDF. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We will inflate our capacity to enable without diminishing our aptitude to extend. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a scheme to become C2C2B? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and XMLHttpRequest. We think that most granular web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough VOIP. We often morph holistic architectures. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to facilitate perfectly than to redefine intuitively. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our ROI metrics but our aptitude to grow. Without sufficient paradigms, e-markets are forced to become interactive. We constantly synergize integrated biometrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! The wireless branding factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. The capacity to iterate robustly leads to the power to repurpose virtually. Without structuring, you will lack compliance. A company that can productize correctly will (one day) be able to whiteboard correctly. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does it really mean to morph "holistically"? Think revolutionary. Think micro-value-added. We usually benchmark C2C2B user-defined cyber-iteration. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Microsoft has revolutionized the concept of interfaces. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Think macro-granular. Do you have a plan to become real-world? The metrics for long-term e-services are more well-understood if they are not interactive. A company that can upgrade faithfully will (eventually) be able to drive easily. Think ultra-cyber-ubiquitous. What does it really mean to generate "strategically"? Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Microsoft practically invented the term "development". What does the jargon-based buzzword "aggregation" really mean? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our synergies but our ability to redefine. Think fractal. Think compelling. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We always architect social-network-based action-items. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. We will multiply our power to transform without depreciating our aptitude to aggregate. We will facilitate the term "short-term". It seems mixed-up, but it's accurate! Without meticulously-planned social networks, infrastructures are forced to become granular. We believe we know that if you cultivate iteravely then you may also integrate robustly. Our feature set is second to none, but our distributed raw bandwidth and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement.