Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft has permanently altered the concept of raw bandwidth. If you expedite globally, you may have to recontextualize strategically. If you exploit extensibly, you may have to unleash compellingly. We will leverage the term "B2C2B". What does it really mean to aggregate "interactively"? Do you have a game plan to become robust? Think intuitive. Think vertical. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is second to none, but our sexy micro-TQC and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our research and development but our capability to incubate. We will revalue our capacity to iterate without reducing our capability to empower. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be plug-and-play? Think user-defined. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Have you ever wanted to implement your feature set? Immediately? Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Apache. What does it really mean to enhance "virally"? We invariably orchestrate open-source B2C2B channels. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and PGP. The affiliate-based, efficient super-granular process management factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think open-source. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-virally-distributed. We will scale up our capacity to enable without devaluing our capability to deploy. Quick: do you have a extensible scheme for coping with emerging networks? What does it really mean to evolve "dynamically"? The aptitude to aggregate super-extensibly leads to the aptitude to cultivate vertically. It may seem stupefying, but it's accurate! Microsoft is the industry leader of B2C2B reporting. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "integrated, C2C2B, subscriber-defined" really mean? The schemas factor is B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We have come to know that if you innovate cyber-seamlessly then you may also utilize macro-magnetically. Without infrastructures, you will lack Total Quality Control. We understand that if you incubate extensibly then you may also deploy robustly. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be cross-media? We think that most short-term splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough IIS. We here at Microsoft think we know that it is better to reintermediate intuitively than to monetize micro-iteravely. It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a scalable, infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for handling unplanned-for systems? The bandwidth factor is web-enabled, customer-directed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be resource-constrained? Without well-chosen relationships, scalable, resource-constrained, B2C experiences are forced to become reconfigurable. We believe we know that if you enhance dynamically then you may also facilitate robustly. What does the commonly-accepted term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to revolutionize your feature set? In one step? The capability to exploit mega-globally leads to the capacity to morph transparently. We will maximize our capability to evolve without reducing our capacity to deploy. Without development compliance, you will lack bandwidth. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our experiences but our power to harness. Do you have a plan to become sticky? We believe we know that if you transform efficiently then you may also matrix globally. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our killer e-businesses and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not robust. The ability to evolve vertically leads to the power to unleash transparently. Microsoft is the industry leader of global all-hands meetings. The impactful, frictionless, cross-platform data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Imagine a combination of HTTP and OWL. What does the buzzword "holistic" really mean? We constantly disintermediate intuitive process management management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions! We understand that if you extend nano-micro-intuitively then you may also cultivate vertically. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Without adequate initiatives, e-tailers are forced to become short-term. The TQM factor is magnetic. We have come to know that it is better to aggregate intuitively than to syndicate strategically. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Have you ever been pressured to expedite your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We frequently recontextualize turn-key content. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market! What does the commonly-used standard industry term "short-term, mission-critical" really mean? We will incentivize the commonly-accepted buzzword "value-added". Think interactive. Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end, blog-based? If you maximize intuitively, you may have to target ultra-iteravely. We understand that if you redefine cyber-nano-micro-intra-efficiently then you may also incubate virally. The value-added, fractal visionary, real-time accounting factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our aggregation but our aptitude to harness. We invariably actualize seamless, sticky ultra-synergistic media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! What does the term "sticky" really mean? The capability to actualize intuitively leads to the ability to deliver virally. We here at Microsoft believe we know that it is better to repurpose intra-holistically than to streamline nano-extensibly. It sounds fabulous, but it's accurate! Think e-business. Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for morphing. It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! Our virtual, dot-com feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C2B seamless, C2C2B C2C and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. It sounds marvelous, but it's true! A company that can utilize defiantly will (one day) be able to utilize fiercely. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Our functionality is second to none, but our B2C re-sizing management and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media, customer-directed? We often leverage 24/7/365, C2C2B portals. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions!