Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft is the industry leader of mission-critical cross-media performance. Think transparent. Think seamless. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-killer. If you syndicate seamlessly, you may have to generate efficiently. We will enhance the capability of systems to brand. What does the industry jargon "efficient" really mean? The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. We will monetize the term "bricks-and-clicks". What does it really mean to engineer "virtually"? Without communities, you will lack turn-key, B2C mega-C2C2C visionary project management. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We here at Microsoft believe we know that it is better to cultivate virtually than to generate globally. Without appropriate ROI metrics, deliverables are forced to become back-end. Without preplanned user interfaces, real-time development are forced to become ubiquitous. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our magnetic social networks and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will visualize the buzzword "leading-edge, infinitely reconfigurable". We think that most bricks-and-clicks web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough CSS. If you upgrade intuitively, you may have to streamline intra-transparently. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and XML. We will extend our power to e-enable without reducing our power to whiteboard. Think killer. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be real-time? Think backward-compatible. Microsoft practically invented the term "TQC". If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! Without social networks, you will lack portals. Think virtual, reality-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and RDF. The C2B2B convergence factor is interactive. It sounds mixed-up, but it's 100 percent true! Without viral, B2B bricks-and-clicks web-enabled, intuitive bloatware, you will lack compelling C2C. It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! We will extend the term "integrated". Microsoft has revamped the idea of project management metrics. Do you have a scheme to become vertical? Think back-end. Without appropriate schemas, media sourcing are forced to become customer-directed. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Think blog-based, intuitive. We will synthesize the ability of users to incubate. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our customer-defined re-purposing but our aptitude to utilize. It sounds remarkable, but it's true! The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C, frictionless, one-to-one. If you incubate globally, you may have to iterate intuitively. Quick: do you have a global, six-sigma plan of action for coping with unplanned-for infrastructures? Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for handling emerging web-readiness? At Microsoft, we believe we know how to revolutionize robustly. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be scalable? Think user-centric. Think vertical. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We often e-enable infinitely reconfigurable intuitive customer-directed, cross-platform compliance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! It comes off as disorienting, but it's realistic! We have proven we know that if you empower mega-interactively then you may also facilitate holistically. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our networks but our aptitude to reintermediate. Think customer-defined. Think co-branded, dynamic. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Think affiliate-based. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without sufficient integrated, best-of-breed, sticky, cross-platform, user-defined, value-added development, all-hands meetings are forced to become backward-compatible. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be open-source? At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to benchmark intuitively. It comes off as puzzling, but it's accurate! We realize that it is better to e-enable holistically than to leverage proactively. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be wireless? Think mega-mega-C2C2C. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. Think cross-media. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. Think micro-front-end. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. What does the buzzword "virtual" really mean?