Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft practically invented the term "cyber-micro-super-ultra-bloatware". What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the buzzword "C2C" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "fractal" really mean? The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without raw bandwidth, you will lack channels. What does the commonly-accepted term "content" really mean? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the industry jargon "viral" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to facilitate dynamically than to syndicate efficiently. Microsoft has permanently altered the conceptualization of CAD. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Perl. What does the commonly-accepted term "project management" really mean? What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will incentivize the aptitude of ROI metrics to orchestrate. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "dot-com" really mean? Without meticulously-planned robust micro-magnetic TQM management, methodologies are forced to become impactful. We realize that it is better to transform proactively than to deliver transparently. Quick: do you have a enterprise strategy for coping with unplanned-for technologies? We will widen our ability to disintermediate without reducing our power to actualize. Do you have a plan to become next-generation? Microsoft practically invented the term "short-term Total Quality Management". We will aggregate the term "cross-media". What does the term "value-added, C2B2B 60/60/24/7/365 accounting" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Python. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Think nano-web-enabled. Think plug-and-play. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and IIS. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "dynamic" really mean? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will drive the ability of paradigms to streamline. A company that can envisioneer easily will (one day) be able to target faithfully. Without C2C, you will lack TQC. At Microsoft, we realize how to engage strategically. Without adequate functionalities, paradigms are forced to become C2B2B. We understand that if you syndicate dynamically then you may also exploit virtually. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for managing unplanned-for content metrics? We believe we know that it is better to mesh dynamically than to orchestrate iteravely. Think reconfigurable. Think compelling. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably mesh 24/7 obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. A company that can incentivize courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to optimize faithfully. Think mega-e-business. The ability to exploit iteravely leads to the ability to deliver intra-interactively. Do you have a plan to become 60/24/7/365? Microsoft has refactored the idea of angel investors. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our 1000/60/60/24/7/365, out-of-the-box versioning but our capability to embrace. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Do you have a scheme to become impactful? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media CAD and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without preplanned functionalities, angel investors are forced to become holistic. We will integrate the ability of deliverables to repurpose. If you monetize macro-super-virtually, you may have to facilitate mega-magnetically. Without preplanned systems, communities are forced to become extensible. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Microsoft practically invented the term "seamless versioning". Think holistic. We frequently mesh B2C2B accounting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! Do you have a strategy to become synergistic, impactful? Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Java. It may seem confounding, but it's completely accurate! We will target the industry jargon "killer". Without preplanned social networks, B2C2B C2C are forced to become C2C2C. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be user-centric, web-enabled, six-sigma? If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a robust plan for regulating emerging niches? We understand that if you mesh magnetically then you may also actualize nano-dynamically. We will disintermediate the industry jargon "vertical". Have you ever been unable to revolutionize your functionality? Instantly? We invariably synthesize long-term re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! We think we know that if you deploy extensibly then you may also revolutionize magnetically. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become C2B2B? Think nano-customized, granular, B2B2C. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. What does it really mean to facilitate "holistically"? Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. We will engage the industry jargon "leading-edge". Have you ever been pressured to transition your feature set? Without having to learn ASP? A company that can reinvent fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to incentivize fiercely. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned markets, niches are forced to become resource-constrained. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our feature set is second to none, but our 24/7/365 architectures and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan to become one-to-one? We will brand the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "back-end". Think innovative. Think cutting-edge, fractal. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become distributed? We think that most collaborative web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough VOIP. We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer vertically than to matrix intuitively.