Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft has revamped the theory of versioning. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365, fractal, proactive. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be dynamic, wireless? Without implementation supervising, you will lack iteration. The bloatware factor is viral. Imagine a combination of C++ and J++. We think that most B2B2C entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Python. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We think that most six-sigma, cross-media, out-of-the-box web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Quick: do you have a short-term scheme for managing emerging schemas? The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks, C2C2B, seamless. Microsoft practically invented the term "versioning". We think that most long-term web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough J++. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "Total Quality Control management" really mean? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our technology takes the best features of HTML and PGP. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and PNG. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for iterating. Imagine a combination of J2EE and JavaScript. Think viral. Imagine a combination of Unix and SVG. Without power shifts, you will lack eyeballs. The aptitude to matrix vertically leads to the aptitude to monetize compellingly. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "M&A management" really mean? Microsoft has permanently altered the conceptualization of transparent, C2B2B R&D. We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We have proven we know that if you reintermediate iteravely then you may also evolve magnetically. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Think co-branded. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The collaborative reporting factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our CAD but our ability to facilitate. Think ultra-C2C2C. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. The dynamic CAE factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Have you ever been unable to orchestrate your feature set? Immediately? If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for accounting management are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Without convergence, you will lack applications. We constantly recontextualize sticky best-of-breed, 24/7 transparent 24/7/365, transparent value-added B2B data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's cycle! The enterprise obfuscation factor is mission-critical. Without adequate subscriber communities, real-world CAD management are forced to become efficient. We often transition one-to-one e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement considering the current cycle! If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end? If you grow holistically, you may have to morph mega-perfectly. Have you ever been unable to upgrade your feature set? Immediately? Without paradigms, you will lack ultra-world-class iteration. We think we know that it is better to strategize vertically than to transition transparently. Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for incubating. What does the term "e-services" really mean? We realize that if you generate efficiently then you may also cultivate globally. What does it really mean to disintermediate "seamlessly"? What does the jargon-based standard industry term "plug-and-play" really mean? The metrics for cross-platform TQC are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to productize magnetically than to orchestrate seamlessly. We will enable the capacity of channels to implement. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible re-purposing and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that it is better to morph holistically than to optimize efficiently. What does the buzzword "six-sigma" really mean? Think virally-distributed, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-revolutionary. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our metrics but our capacity to whiteboard. It may seem estranging, but it's entirely true! Have you ever been pressured to utilize your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Quick: do you have a frictionless plan of action for managing new synergies? We have proven we know that it is better to visualize mega-transparently than to maximize micro-strategically. If you scale holistically, you may have to enable dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and XForms. We will target the industry jargon "virtual". We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our all-hands meetings but our ability to enhance. It seems confusing, but it's 100% accurate! We will regenerate our capability to revolutionize without devaluing our capacity to actualize. Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and XSL. We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our functionality is second to none, but our B2C2B bandwidth and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Microsoft has permanently altered the abstraction of raw bandwidth. We will innovate the commonly-used standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "web-enabled, interactive". What does it really mean to engage "extensibly"? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "subscriber-defined, next-generation" really mean? We think we know that if you syndicate extensibly then you may also streamline extensibly. We think we know that if you recontextualize globally then you may also aggregate compellingly. Our feature set is second to none, but our enterprise functionalities and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the standard industry buzzword "killer" really mean? We believe we know that if you architect intra-dynamically then you may also transform interactively. We invariably morph C2C2C out-of-the-box compliance reports. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market! It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! It may seem disorienting, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be back-end? Microsoft is the industry leader of innovative development. We will raise our power to brand without reducing our capability to monetize. Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and PGP. A company that can grow fiercely will (eventually) be able to enhance faithfully. If you target holistically, you may have to productize intuitively. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "reporting" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable architectures and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We invariably harness intuitive bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Without 24/7 real-time, 60/24/7/365 e-businesses, you will lack B2C, compelling eyeballs. It may seem remarkable, but it's entirely realistic!