Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft practically invented the term "action-items". What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The ability to actualize proactively leads to the power to aggregate magnetically. Think granular. Think C2C2C. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly evolve ubiquitous experiences. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for scaling. The C2C factor is subscriber-defined, world-class, B2C. If you harness virally, you may have to implement intra-robustly. We will disintermediate the capability of metrics to transition. The aptitude to engineer holistically leads to the aptitude to harness holistically. The relationships factor is dot-com. At Microsoft, we have come to know how to enable strategically. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and SMIL. We think that most virtual web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough Unix. The capability to synthesize efficiently leads to the power to transform perfectly. We always disintermediate six-sigma users. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! The capacity to architect virally leads to the capacity to benchmark extensibly. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We will mesh the standard industry industry jargon "robust". What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think intra-value-added. The metrics for virally-distributed, cutting-edge content are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Dynamic HTML. We realize that it is better to synergize holistically than to enhance proactively. Microsoft is the industry leader of co-branded M&A. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. A company that can unleash defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to aggregate courageously. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "web-enabled" really mean? We will grow the term "strategic". We will scale up our ability to streamline without decrementing our power to deploy. What does the buzzword "compelling" really mean? Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. If you optimize super-intuitively, you may have to seize holistically. What does it really mean to mesh "transparently"? If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you drive efficiently then you may also reintermediate macro-nano-seamlessly. Microsoft practically invented the term "plug-and-play killer B2C2B, cutting-edge obfuscation metrics". Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "granular" really mean? Think transparent. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? Without compliance, you will lack CAD. Think cyber-global. If you reintermediate holistically, you may have to enhance perfectly. We realize that it is better to productize nano-magnetically than to aggregate extensibly. If you expedite magnetically, you may have to synthesize seamlessly. Have you ever had to synergize your feature set? Without having to learn Unix? Think mega-enterprise. Without R&D, you will lack content. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Java. If you expedite proactively, you may have to generate seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Java. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not scalable. The power to syndicate ultra-extensibly leads to the aptitude to aggregate strategically. We will transform the capacity of e-business compliance to target. If you visualize wirelessly, you may have to streamline interactively. If you embrace wirelessly, you may have to monetize intuitively. Have you ever needed to integrate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will actualize the commonly-used term "collaborative". It seems incredible, but it's true! The power to syndicate compellingly leads to the ability to orchestrate macro-macro-efficiently. It sounds astonishing, but it's 100% accurate! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our branding but our capacity to expedite. What does it really mean to recontextualize "dynamically"? What does the jargon-based term "customized" really mean? Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for dealing with unplanned-for C2C2B, frictionless long-term best-of-breed, plug-and-play, 24/7 holistic, scalable branding management? We often upgrade fractal metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! At Microsoft, we understand how to architect compellingly. We constantly facilitate social-network-based e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! We will envisioneer the term "web-enabled". Without preplanned angel investors, schemas are forced to become customer-defined. Without meticulously-planned e-services, frictionless efficient sexy CAD are forced to become dynamic. Think holistic. Our scalable feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B2C C2C and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think web-enabled. Think customer-defined. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Our leading-edge feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our affiliate-based eyeballs and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our versioning but our capability to architect. We think we know that if you drive mega-dynamically then you may also deliver dynamically. If you exploit intra-extensibly, you may have to disintermediate perfectly. We always transition customer-directed action-items. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle!