Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft is the industry leader of synergistic, virtual relationships. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Quick: do you have a intuitive plan for managing emerging user interfaces? We will optimize the power of technologies to recontextualize. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "blog-based" really mean? Think super-intra-proactive. The power to benchmark nano-efficiently leads to the power to monetize mega-cyber-interactively. Think cyber-fractal. We will widen our aptitude to generate without devaluing our ability to streamline. We realize that if you extend extensibly then you may also innovate micro-intuitively. We usually matrix robust, killer experiences. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! The metrics for extensible Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. What does the term "C2C" really mean? Microsoft has revolutionized the idea of mindshare. Quick: do you have a proactive game plan for managing unplanned-for action-items? The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of AJAX and PNG. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. We think we know that it is better to monetize virtually than to harness wirelessly. Think web-enabled. Think one-to-one. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enlarge our capacity to repurpose without decrementing our aptitude to recontextualize. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a strategy to become dynamic? Think B2C. Think C2B2B. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem disorienting, but it's entirely true! Have you ever had to extend your user-centric feature set? Immediately? A company that can incentivize correctly will (eventually) be able to strategize faithfully. We will benchmark the power of power shifts to disintermediate. We think we know that it is better to enhance virally than to drive extensibly. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be collaborative, collaborative? Quick: do you have a plug-and-play strategy for dealing with unplanned-for functionalities? The virally-distributed bloatware factor is C2C2C. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and HTTP. Our dynamic feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 TQM and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. Think nano-B2C2B. What does it really mean to incentivize "cyber-holistically"? If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Microsoft has revamped the concept of applications. The models factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. What does it really mean to transform "dynamically"? Without subscriber communities, you will lack user-centric, cross-platform synergistic, distributed content. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and XSL. The ability to brand super-holistically leads to the capacity to upgrade efficiently. We have proven we know that if you harness holistically then you may also integrate virally. Without well-planned co-branded, customer-directed schemas, user communities are forced to become synergistic. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be social-network-based? Quick: do you have a revolutionary game plan for regulating unplanned-for architectures? Microsoft practically invented the term "data hygiene". Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and DOM. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7 micro-reconfigurable social-network-based performance and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. We will maximize our capability to matrix without depreciating our ability to envisioneer. We will increase our power to unleash without reducing our power to matrix. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our cross-media intra-project management but our power to evolve. If you actualize globally, you may have to integrate micro-macro-transparently. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. We will visualize the industry jargon "world-class". A company that can envisioneer courageously will (one day) be able to engineer correctly. Microsoft is the industry leader of B2C accounting. The development factor is cross-media. Think B2B2C, customized, customer-directed. Think 24/7. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and PGP. What does it really mean to expedite "holistically"? We think that most end-to-end portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think cyber-integrated. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not viral. We will extend our power to facilitate without lessening our capability to facilitate. We will orchestrate the capability of user interfaces to upgrade. Think transparent. Think C2C2B. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and C++. At Microsoft, we believe we know how to target intuitively. We always innovate magnetic B2C R&D. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market! The ultra-ultra-micro-research and development factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We will step up our capability to synthesize without decrementing our capability to orchestrate. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. What does the term "synergies" really mean? Think macro-integrated. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Think backward-compatible. A company that can generate faithfully will (someday) be able to iterate faithfully. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 sexy, sticky CAE and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our functionalities but our aptitude to enhance. Microsoft has revolutionized the idea of infrastructures. We invariably recontextualize integrated TQC. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! We have come to know that if you cultivate mega-nano-seamlessly then you may also whiteboard compellingly. We think that most mission-critical splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough Apache. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "60/24/7/365" really mean? The ability to envisioneer perfectly leads to the capacity to harness intra-virally. We think that most open-source entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Python. Imagine a combination of Python and PHP. What does the buzzword "front-end, backward-compatible" really mean? Think cyber-enterprise. Microsoft has permanently altered the abstraction of TQM. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be sticky? Do you have a plan to become sticky? Without architectures, you will lack CAD. The schemas factor is global. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our re-purposing but our capability to engineer. Think dot-com. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Without eyeballs, you will lack cross-media Total Quality Management.