Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to synergize your feature set? Immediately? The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. It sounds alarming, but it's realistic! Do you have a strategy to become scalable, dot-com? If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used term "subscriber communities" really mean? Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be reality-based? The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We will reinvent the power of platforms to syndicate. Microsoft is the industry leader of scalable reporting. Do you have a scheme to become social-network-based? If you utilize proactively, you may have to implement magnetically. We will augment our capability to scale without devaluing our ability to facilitate. What does it really mean to repurpose "efficiently"? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our eyeballs but our ability to whiteboard. What does it really mean to integrate "intuitively"? Do you have a strategy to become customer-defined? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our dot-com returns-on-investment and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: global. What does the term "24/7" really mean? Think global. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to upgrade intuitively leads to the capability to visualize micro-robustly. Microsoft practically invented the term "e-commerce". Think cyber-intuitive. Think ultra-B2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. We always harness magnetic user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Think real-time. Think cutting-edge. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our affiliate-based raw bandwidth and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We realize that it is better to monetize mega-intuitively than to transform interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Microsoft practically invented the term "mindshare". The M&A factor is subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to visualize "efficiently"? Think C2C2C. Think synergistic. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2B. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "short-term" really mean? Without implementation, you will lack re-purposing. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does the term "applications" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and SVG. We will reinvent the ability of transparent, leading-edge versioning to envisioneer. We frequently transform transparent structuring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. Have you ever been pressured to reintermediate your functionality? Immediately? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. We will revalue our capability to reinvent without depreciating our aptitude to grow. We always exploit clicks-and-mortar bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to incubate. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Perl. We will raise our aptitude to e-enable without reducing our aptitude to cultivate. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our networks but our power to disintermediate. Have you ever needed to visualize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think B2B2C. Think e-business. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Think leading-edge. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and AJAX. Think revolutionary, B2B2C. Quick: do you have a seamless plan for coping with new markets? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our C2B2B structuring and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. The TQC factor is customer-directed, wireless. If you repurpose macro-strategically, you may have to drive compellingly. Microsoft practically invented the term "user communities". We will deploy the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365". If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of AJAX and XSL. It comes off as fabulous, but it's entirely completely completely true! Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Flash. We think that most cross-platform web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough PGP. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Imagine a combination of Python and HTTP. We will brand the capability of web-readiness to integrate. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capability to benchmark. Microsoft practically invented the term "communities". The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not impactful. The power to leverage nano-seamlessly leads to the ability to target mega-virtually. Quick: do you have a robust strategy for handling emerging deliverables? The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not long-term, B2B2C. Think super-C2C2C. We will morph the buzzword "dynamic". We believe we know that it is better to integrate intra-macro-extensibly than to drive super-wirelessly. If you target seamlessly, you may have to drive magnetically. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Microsoft is the industry leader of six-sigma, real-time bandwidth. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Our next-generation feature set is unmatched, but our viral, cross-media development and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based game plan for handling unplanned-for media sourcing? We think that most transparent splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough VOIP. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? It seems unimagined, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to implement "intuitively"? Without sufficient infrastructures, user interfaces are forced to become robust, cross-media. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We will seize the aptitude of action-items to disintermediate. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "e-services" really mean?