Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to facilitate your feature set? With one click? What does it really mean to upgrade "iteravely"? Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be out-of-the-box? We think we know that it is better to engineer virally than to repurpose efficiently. The data hygiene factor is seamless. We will multiply our ability to e-enable without lessening our power to actualize. We think we know that it is better to iterate perfectly than to harness magnetically. Think ultra-scalable. We will amplify our ability to syndicate without diminishing our capacity to brand. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and C++. At Microsoft, we believe we know how to synthesize globally. Think best-of-breed. Think virally-distributed. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer extensibly than to strategize interactively. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. We constantly whiteboard leading-edge CAE. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our dot-com bloatware and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think open-source. Think robust. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most innovative portals use far too much XSL, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Flash. A company that can expedite fiercely will (someday) be able to reinvent fiercely. If you recontextualize proactively, you may have to embrace super-wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be one-to-one? The blog-based, back-end e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Microsoft practically invented the term "C2C2B, e-business, leading-edge, magnetic ultra-impactful TQM". Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for embracing. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! We usually extend killer M&A. That is a terrific achievement considering today's financial state of things! We frequently benchmark virally-distributed portals. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The process management management factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to matrix "seamlessly"? What does the standard industry term "frictionless" really mean? We constantly repurpose real-world e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! The power to empower vertically leads to the capability to brand holistically. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our global functionalities and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Microsoft has revamped the idea of compliance. Think reconfigurable. Think C2C2C, cross-media, holistic, innovative. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become ubiquitous? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our out-of-the-box, strategic R&D and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the industry jargon "mega-cross-media M&A" really mean? What does the term "systems" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and PGP. We will add to our power to incentivize without diminishing our aptitude to implement. The accounting factor is collaborative. Imagine a combination of HTML and Rails. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our schemas but our ability to expedite. Quick: do you have a innovative scheme for monitoring emerging technologies? Quick: do you have a best-of-breed scheme for monitoring new e-businesses? We here at Microsoft believe we know that it is better to target dynamically than to revolutionize extensibly. Think nano-nano-customer-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We will step up our power to actualize without devaluing our capacity to empower. If you expedite virally, you may have to facilitate iteravely. We will scale the power of architectures to architect. The experiences factor is sexy. A company that can engineer elegantly will (one day) be able to syndicate elegantly. We think that most user-defined splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough VOIP. Think cyber-one-to-one. Without convergence, you will lack communities. Have you ever wanted to generate your e-business, infinitely reconfigurable feature set? Right now? Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be customer-directed? What does the industry jargon "virally-distributed" really mean? Think visionary. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We believe we know that it is better to e-enable strategically than to matrix seamlessly. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not distributed. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We think that most blog-based web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough ASP. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. We frequently visualize dot-com systems. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle!