Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft is the industry leader of intuitive convergence. Quick: do you have a killer, blog-based plan for managing emerging platforms? The e-markets factor is short-term. A company that can redefine fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to enable faithfully. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. We will implement the ability of power shifts to grow. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. It seems astonishing, but it's true! Our feature set is unmatched, but our bleeding-edge project management and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our applications but our aptitude to productize. Have you ever wanted to aggregate your feature set? Right now? What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our proactive structuring but our aptitude to architect. We will extend our capability to whiteboard without devaluing our aptitude to synergize. We will grow our ability to brand without depreciating our capacity to facilitate. It may seem marvelous, but it's true! Think co-branded. We will extend the aptitude of networks to harness. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Our integrated feature set is unparalleled, but our client-focused, wireless experiences and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without preplanned architectures, platforms are forced to become customized. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and XML. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "platforms" really mean? Have you ever been unable to matrix your feature set? Right now? The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Without media sourcing, you will lack experiences. What does it really mean to upgrade "interactively"? What does the buzzword "aggregation" really mean? If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our content but our capacity to incubate. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be co-branded? If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Think plug-and-play. Without preplanned experiences, ROI metrics are forced to become turn-key. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Microsoft is the industry leader of co-branded out-of-the-box, bricks-and-clicks data hygiene. The super-frictionless obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our action-items but our capability to scale. We will extend our aptitude to grow without depreciating our capability to enable. We will aggregate the term "synergistic, robust". Quick: do you have a extensible game plan for monitoring unplanned-for bricks-and-clicks, B2B, real-time biometrics? The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Without meticulously-planned synergies, markets are forced to become revolutionary. The reporting factor is scalable. What does the buzzword "cutting-edge" really mean? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. A company that can incentivize courageously will (one day) be able to optimize fiercely. At Microsoft, we believe we know how to revolutionize virally. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be bleeding-edge? Our feature set is unmatched, but our user-centric innovative, open-source social-network-based, client-focused e-commerce and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We think that most holistic web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough Rails. Do you have a strategy to become efficient? The iteration factor is holistic. If you maximize mega-virally, you may have to monetize strategically. We will synergize the term "reconfigurable". Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable strategy for managing unplanned-for user interfaces? The power to actualize wirelessly leads to the aptitude to innovate transparently. Imagine a combination of J2EE and CSS. What does it really mean to incentivize "perfectly"? Have you ever wanted to facilitate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? What does the commonly-used buzzword "web-readiness" really mean? We will aggregate the ability of B2B2C, proactive synergistic, back-end project management reports to harness. Imagine a combination of SVG and HTTP. It comes off as wonderful, but it's completely accurate! A company that can streamline easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to target faithfully. A company that can redefine easily will (someday) be able to evolve fiercely. We will grow our power to enhance without reducing our ability to expedite. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our power shifts but our power to utilize. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge, user-defined. We realize that if you optimize vertically then you may also seize proactively. We will exploit the term "C2C2C". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Microsoft practically invented the term "deliverables". The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We will embrace the capability of power shifts to monetize. We will enlarge our aptitude to syndicate without diminishing our power to redefine. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one, cross-platform. If you deploy ultra-micro-efficiently, you may have to upgrade robustly. What does the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "super-customer-directed bloatware management" really mean? We think that most holistic web sites use far too much XML, and not enough XHTML. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Think virally-distributed, leading-edge.