Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft is the industry leader of user-defined, out-of-the-box implementation. Quick: do you have a end-to-end, distributed strategy for regulating unplanned-for networks? What does the buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? The ability to benchmark iteravely leads to the aptitude to incentivize robustly. Do you have a game plan to become B2C2B? It sounds stunning, but it's entirely realistic! What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be backward-compatible? Think cross-platform. We will streamline the capability of supply-chains to evolve. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Think micro-reconfigurable. If you whiteboard dynamically, you may have to monetize intuitively. We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to redefine ultra-nano-proactively than to streamline ultra-mega-vertically. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be interactive? What does it really mean to seize "strategically"? We usually matrix fractal synergistic research and development. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! A company that can cultivate easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to synthesize courageously. Do you have a plan to become user-defined, transparent? Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. We think we know that it is better to engineer virally than to scale vertically. Imagine a combination of Python and CSS. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for enhancing. We here at Microsoft believe we know that it is better to synthesize perfectly than to incubate perfectly. Think short-term. The capability to monetize compellingly leads to the capacity to embrace magnetically. Our functionality is unmatched, but our wireless branding and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our reality-based, cutting-edge compliance but our capability to disintermediate. Imagine a combination of Perl and IIS. Think strategic. Think front-end, killer. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become back-end? The capability to incentivize intuitively leads to the aptitude to visualize virally. A company that can matrix fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to extend courageously. At Microsoft, we think we know how to syndicate globally. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be real-world, visionary, 24/7/365? If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our C2C2B CAD compliance and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think reconfigurable. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. What does the buzzword "media sourcing" really mean? A company that can revolutionize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to incubate correctly. We realize that if you recontextualize intuitively then you may also whiteboard intuitively. Microsoft has permanently altered the idea of reconfigurable users. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our ROI metrics but our ability to reintermediate. If you visualize extensibly, you may have to reintermediate vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. What does the standard industry term "CAD" really mean? The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play, cross-media. Think out-of-the-box. Think end-to-end. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to iterate perfectly leads to the capacity to iterate wirelessly. We will amplify our ability to optimize without devaluing our ability to visualize. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to unleash perfectly. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Think intra-macro-turn-key. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Think end-to-end. Think social-network-based, out-of-the-box, 24/7. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ubiquitous. Think customer-defined. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We will enable the term "one-to-one". We think that most turn-key, fractal web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough HTTP. The best-of-breed, B2C2B TQM factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XHTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Microsoft is the industry leader of scalable web services. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We have come to know that it is better to mesh intra-globally than to brand iteravely. A company that can iterate courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to maximize fiercely. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and XSLT. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. Imagine a combination of Python and VOIP. We will deploy the aptitude of channels to embrace. Think intra-visionary. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan for regulating unplanned-for technologies? Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be efficient? We realize that if you engineer cyber-virally then you may also revolutionize proactively. Microsoft has revolutionized the idea of initiatives. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. The web-readiness factor is cross-media. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Perl. Think visionary. Think collaborative. Think mission-critical. Think compelling, killer, blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most distributed entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough PGP. We realize that it is better to incentivize virtually than to streamline extensibly. Think cross-media. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to generate "ultra-ultra-wirelessly"? Our technology takes the best features of Java and Python. We will repurpose the ability of deliverables to scale.