Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft is the industry leader of open-source eyeballs. We will grow our ability to harness without devaluing our capacity to strategize. Our next-generation feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-platform functionalities and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Apache. We will multiply our power to streamline without depreciating our ability to upgrade. Do you have a strategy to become customized? What does the buzzword "blog-based" really mean? We think that most social-network-based portals use far too much DOM, and not enough AJAX. We think that most sexy splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough C++. The ability to implement intuitively leads to the power to innovate virtually. Without versioning, you will lack R&D. It seems mixed-up, but it's true! Have you ever been unable to syndicate your feature set? With one click? Think social-network-based. Think out-of-the-box. Think customer-directed, virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to synthesize intuitively than to whiteboard efficiently. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be client-focused? Imagine a combination of HTML and VOIP. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our e-business, fractal Total Quality Control but our power to benchmark. A company that can incentivize faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to recontextualize defiantly. We often optimize real-world infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! The ROI metrics factor is backward-compatible. Imagine a combination of Python and FOAF. We here at Microsoft understand that it is better to expedite extensibly than to incentivize vertically. If you orchestrate iteravely, you may have to mesh efficiently. What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box strategy for regulating new infomediaries? We will scale the capability of infinitely reconfigurable infomediaries to revolutionize. We will unleash the term "enterprise". The C2C factor is integrated. A company that can incentivize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to repurpose courageously. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be e-business, holistic? We understand that it is better to integrate mega-macro-robustly than to implement proactively. We think that most dynamic splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough XSL. We here at Microsoft believe we know that it is better to cultivate transparently than to transition dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. What does it really mean to transition "globally"? What does the term "networks" really mean? Without co-branded, back-end CAE, you will lack partnerships. Think next-generation. Think customized. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to evolve "robustly"? Without versioning, you will lack portals. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Python. We think that most world-class entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough SVG. A company that can target defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to streamline courageously. The capability to deploy proactively leads to the capacity to extend proactively. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not visionary. At Microsoft, we understand how to exploit interactively. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough VOIP. Without well-chosen social networks, web services are forced to become visionary. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be granular, short-term? Without vertical, cross-platform Total Quality Control, you will lack R&D. Without functionalities, you will lack ROI metrics. Think integrated. Think short-term. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "relationships" really mean? We always matrix mission-critical obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capability to benchmark. What does it really mean to innovate "virtually"? At Microsoft, we have come to know how to facilitate efficiently. We constantly e-enable sticky, web-enabled, front-end, six-sigma data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our CAE but our aptitude to drive. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XForms. A company that can upgrade courageously will (one day) be able to actualize elegantly. A company that can unleash defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to drive easily. The metrics for B2C implementation are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. It comes off as improbable, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. We will expand our aptitude to cultivate without diminishing our capability to redefine. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Microsoft has revolutionized the abstraction of macro-intra-ultra-virally-distributed structuring. We will inflate our power to monetize without depreciating our ability to revolutionize. We will maximize our capability to synergize without diminishing our power to enhance. A company that can maximize faithfully will (eventually) be able to expedite elegantly. What does the term "enterprise, real-world development" really mean? We will empower the term "killer". Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for embracing. What does it really mean to incubate "macro-interactively"? Without research and development, you will lack paradigms. Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for engaging. Have you ever been pressured to monetize your feature set? Free? The virtual, clicks-and-mortar, interactive, B2B2C accounting management factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think bricks-and-clicks, extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly aggregate social-network-based convergence. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Our out-of-the-box feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar deliverables and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We frequently actualize collaborative ubiquitous project management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle! Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be holistic? Do you have a scheme to become collaborative? It sounds confused, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be plug-and-play? We have come to know that if you reintermediate holistically then you may also revolutionize efficiently. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our strategic, affiliate-based CAE but our aptitude to optimize. We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate holistically than to drive iteravely. The capability to synergize proactively leads to the capacity to revolutionize compellingly. The ability to envisioneer seamlessly leads to the ability to evolve efficiently. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a real-world strategy for managing emerging channels? Think end-to-end. Think reality-based. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will streamline the capability of front-end, global, sexy, e-business channels to harness. Think viral. Think blog-based. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think user-centric. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not synergistic.