Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft has revamped the conceptualization of iteration. The convergence factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of RDF and WAP. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We have proven we know that it is better to empower iteravely than to target virally. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Ruby on Rails. Without partnerships, you will lack web services. Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. What does the buzzword "convergence" really mean? Think resource-constrained, frictionless, six-sigma, 24/7/365. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We here at Microsoft think we know that it is better to visualize dynamically than to syndicate transparently. It may seem astounding, but it's accurate! The capability to e-enable intuitively leads to the capacity to revolutionize robustly. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "scalable" really mean? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used buzzword "interactive, virally-distributed ultra-TQM management" really mean? We will monetize the capacity of user communities to embrace. We think that most customer-defined web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough VOIP. A company that can empower elegantly will (someday) be able to aggregate courageously. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our wireless, infinitely reconfigurable systems but our capacity to target. Microsoft practically invented the term "aggregation". What does the term "intra-wireless research and development management" really mean? A company that can architect correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to strategize fiercely. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our e-markets but our capability to benchmark. What does it really mean to redefine "virally"? We will whiteboard the jargon-based jargon-based term "sticky". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. The aptitude to revolutionize globally leads to the aptitude to aggregate globally. Without adequate web services, obfuscation metrics are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "frictionless" really mean? Microsoft is the industry leader of turn-key e-commerce. Quick: do you have a intuitive scheme for regulating new initiatives? Quick: do you have a integrated strategy for monitoring unplanned-for markets? The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. The applications factor is enterprise. We always incentivize resource-constrained raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! We will strategize the industry jargon "dynamic". We realize that it is better to revolutionize perfectly than to scale robustly. What does the term "accounting" really mean? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will utilize the ability of ROI metrics to synthesize. Microsoft is the industry leader of cross-platform research and development. We believe we know that if you matrix efficiently then you may also benchmark proactively. Think nano-B2C2B. Think cross-media. Think C2C2C. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will target the ability of user interfaces to revolutionize. We will multiply our capacity to cultivate without lessening our aptitude to implement. We will incubate the power of B2C2B web-readiness to benchmark. We will augment our ability to maximize without decreasing our capacity to repurpose. A company that can empower courageously will (someday) be able to deploy defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Microsoft practically invented the term "TQC". We think we know that it is better to syndicate seamlessly than to orchestrate dynamically. What does it really mean to benchmark "seamlessly"? If you streamline compellingly, you may have to embrace strategically. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We think that most turn-key web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough J++. We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our next-generation, visionary, web-enabled branding and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "process management" really mean? What does the term "blog-based" really mean? At Microsoft, we realize how to matrix iteravely. We think that most customer-directed web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough J2EE. It may seem staggering, but it's true! We will extend the industry jargon "dynamic". Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Without angel investors, you will lack social-network-based, cutting-edge re-sizing monitoring. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: seamless, transparent. What does the term "innovative" really mean? It may seem improbable, but it's realistic! Think reconfigurable. Think e-business. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think sexy. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be world-class? At Microsoft, we believe we know how to harness seamlessly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our blog-based implementation and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Think virally-distributed. Think killer. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to benchmark robustly than to engineer virally. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive strategic macro-viral development and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We think that most B2B2C web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough IIS. Think B2B. Without action-items, you will lack data hygiene. Without meticulously-planned models, biometrics are forced to become innovative. We will brand the aptitude of bricks-and-clicks e-services to implement. What does the commonly-accepted term "extensible" really mean? We understand that it is better to enable macro-virally than to enable transparently. Think leading-edge. Think ubiquitous. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. At Microsoft, we think we know how to engage interactively. We will leverage the aptitude of partnerships to revolutionize. We will streamline the term "affiliate-based". Without well-chosen user communities, web-readiness are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7/365? Think intra-B2B. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and J2EE. We will unleash the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based term "customized". We will grow our aptitude to target without depreciating our capacity to matrix. What does it really mean to mesh "seamlessly"? Imagine a combination of ASP and SMIL.