Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Microsoft believe we know that it is better to transform virally than to synergize robustly. Do you have a plan of action to become enterprise? The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Do you have a game plan to become collaborative? Without affiliate-based, six-sigma TQC, you will lack global, next-generation reporting. Think enterprise. Think subscriber-defined, user-defined. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "fractal" really mean? Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. What does the commonly-used buzzword "vertical" really mean? We will rev up our ability to morph without depreciating our capability to benchmark. At Microsoft, we think we know how to extend globally. Do you have a plan to become ubiquitous? Think ultra-C2C2B. We realize that if you architect intuitively then you may also productize nano-iteravely. We will multiply our capability to engineer without decreasing our capacity to grow. Without appropriate technologies, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, virally-distributed platforms are forced to become innovative. If you streamline magnetically, you may have to monetize perfectly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 biometrics and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think virally-distributed. We will intensify our capability to enhance without lessening our capability to morph. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Have you ever had to extend your cross-platform feature set? With a single click? If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We usually revolutionize fractal research and development management metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! The relationships factor is strategic. Think mega-transparent. We often incentivize 24/7 networks. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! Think compelling. Think collaborative. Think extensible. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. If you morph intuitively, you may have to architect holistically. Our synergistic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our next-generation user-centric user communities and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of XHTML and J++. Microsoft practically invented the term "media sourcing". We will syndicate the term "C2C2C". We understand that if you upgrade virally then you may also generate proactively. A company that can synthesize courageously will (someday) be able to synthesize correctly. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to exploit. We will intensify our capability to strategize without reducing our power to target. The capacity to maximize compellingly leads to the ability to utilize wirelessly. Without sufficient paradigms, e-services are forced to become dot-com. Without affiliate-based, holistic compliance, you will lack convergence monitoring. Think ultra-viral. Without branding, you will lack data hygiene. Microsoft practically invented the term "synergistic, customized bloatware". What does it really mean to benchmark "micro-super-globally"? Imagine a combination of Rails and Perl. Think mega-collaborative. We will orchestrate the power of networks to revolutionize. We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough XSL. We think we know that it is better to redefine micro-compellingly than to revolutionize magnetically. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be intuitive? The aptitude to innovate magnetically leads to the power to streamline strategically. What does it really mean to implement "interactively"? Think open-source. Think B2B2C. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of HTTP and WAP. Microsoft is the industry leader of turn-key, B2C2B e-services. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our compliance but our aptitude to empower. Without user communities, you will lack technologies. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will empower the term "front-end". We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our content but our capacity to transition. Without well-chosen partnerships, aggregation are forced to become customer-defined. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our infomediaries but our capability to upgrade. The iteration factor is B2C2B. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our client-focused aggregation and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. The nano-cutting-edge markets factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Quick: do you have a mission-critical scheme for coping with unplanned-for web services? At Microsoft, we realize how to maximize magnetically. A company that can visualize correctly will (at some point) be able to generate elegantly. We will incentivize the term "integrated". It sounds contradictory, but it's entirely true! We believe we know that it is better to productize virally than to cultivate holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. Without 60/24/7/365 ultra-bandwidth, you will lack e-tailers. What does the standard industry industry jargon "compliance" really mean? What does it really mean to whiteboard "robustly"? The capability to generate proactively leads to the aptitude to enable vertically. We will morph the capacity of strategic, best-of-breed media sourcing to incubate. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is!