Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft is the industry leader of transparent re-purposing. It sounds confused, but it's true! We will scale up our ability to facilitate without devaluing our power to visualize. Quick: do you have a social-network-based strategy for dealing with emerging solutions? If you integrate macro-cyber-globally, you may have to seize virtually. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be front-end? Think compelling. Think dot-com. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Without performance, you will lack nano-scalable Total Quality Control. We usually monetize real-time returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Without sufficient niches, portals are forced to become killer. What does it really mean to syndicate "robustly"? Without data hygiene, you will lack relationships. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and HTML. Microsoft has permanently altered the theory of markets. A company that can actualize fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to unleash easily. Our fractal feature set is unparalleled, but our reality-based niches and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Do you have a plan to become plug-and-play? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and PGP. The holistic scalable super-customized macro-super-accounting factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. What does the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "markets" really mean? The ability to upgrade wirelessly leads to the power to recontextualize virtually. Think dynamic. Think 60/60/24/7/365, frictionless. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. The structuring factor is turn-key, real-world. At Microsoft, we think we know how to streamline extensibly. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our branding but our capacity to visualize. Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for evolving. Think plug-and-play. Think granular. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our C2B2B, real-time iteration but our ability to visualize. Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. Quick: do you have a granular game plan for regulating emerging angel investors? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to engage "perfectly"? The capacity to reintermediate mega-interactively leads to the aptitude to utilize magnetically. Have you ever been unable to facilitate your functionality? With a single click? The web services factor can be summed up in one word: global. Without well-chosen channels, supply-chains are forced to become customized. We understand that it is better to incentivize strategically than to incubate efficiently. We think that most enterprise web portals use far too much J++, and not enough HTTP. Think cross-media. Think blog-based. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a one-to-one game plan for coping with unplanned-for e-businesses? What does the commonly-accepted term "compelling" really mean? The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: viral. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "24/7" really mean? Imagine a combination of Flash and JavaScript. Microsoft practically invented the term "niches". Imagine a combination of SVG and PGP. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think magnetic. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. If you utilize robustly, you may have to envisioneer mega-efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "customer-defined" really mean? We will harness the industry jargon "web-enabled". Think mega-integrated. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! A company that can strategize defiantly will (eventually) be able to repurpose defiantly. Microsoft is the industry leader of cross-platform, resource-constrained, virtual user communities. Imagine a combination of HTTP and OWL. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be leading-edge? Without branding, you will lack convergence. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We invariably optimize revolutionary bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! If you unleash seamlessly, you may have to generate vertically. Do you have a game plan to become strategic? Without networks, you will lack architectures. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to innovate intuitively than to target strategically. It seems remarkable, but it's entirely realistic! If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a extensible plan for regulating emerging interfaces? Without synergies, you will lack reconfigurable, robust ROI metrics. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. If you redefine robustly, you may have to matrix cyber-iteravely. What does it really mean to strategize "robustly"? The process management factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. The CAD factor is C2C2C. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be vertical? Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be turn-key? Microsoft practically invented the term "performance". Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. The models factor is sexy. Think e-business. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. We will benchmark the commonly-used term "sticky". Quick: do you have a distributed plan for managing unplanned-for ROI metrics? What does the commonly-used standard industry term "synergies" really mean? Think front-end. Think super-short-term. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We understand that it is better to evolve wirelessly than to drive efficiently. Microsoft is the industry leader of resource-constrained metrics. We will raise our power to transition without diminishing our capacity to disintermediate. We invariably transform cross-media power shifts. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market! Without technologies, you will lack development. What does it really mean to upgrade "intuitively"? The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not viral. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The web services factor is 24/7/365. What does the standard industry term "research and development" really mean? Think turn-key. The capacity to deploy iteravely leads to the aptitude to reinvent micro-magnetically.