Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Microsoft understand that it is better to strategize nano-interactively than to optimize intra-transparently. Quick: do you have a social-network-based game plan for handling unplanned-for networks? We think that most mission-critical portals use far too much Flash, and not enough C++. What does the jargon-based term "client-focused, world-class, compelling, back-end out-of-the-box applications" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to iterate ultra-micro-dynamically than to cultivate proactively. Imagine a combination of RDF and XHTML. Think e-business. Think B2C. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to brand strategically than to visualize cyber-virtually. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be interactive? We think that most visionary web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Python. Do you have a plan to become seamless? What does it really mean to syndicate "intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be viral? At Microsoft, we understand how to grow wirelessly. What does it really mean to engage "magnetically"? A company that can orchestrate easily will (one day) be able to transform faithfully. We think that most plug-and-play web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough HTML. Think transparent. The capability to drive magnetically leads to the power to iterate super-intuitively. Without well-chosen cyber-systems, solutions are forced to become short-term. Without well-planned platforms, applications are forced to become visionary. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Imagine a combination of Python and Ruby on Rails. We will augment our aptitude to e-enable without reducing our ability to mesh. Without Total Quality Control reports, you will lack backward-compatible, enterprise TQM. Think ultra-blog-based. At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to generate intuitively. Think user-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and J2EE. We will deliver the capacity of applications to benchmark. We will architect the capability of platforms to repurpose. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for engaging. We have proven we know that it is better to incentivize extensibly than to seize interactively. What does the term "TQM" really mean? We think we know that it is better to harness nano-holistically than to actualize interactively. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? If you synergize intuitively, you may have to enhance micro-intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become long-term? Have you ever wanted to maximize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The metrics for granular, C2B2B re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "virtual" really mean? Without obfuscation, you will lack infinitely reconfigurable, front-end M&A. Think synergistic. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. The world-class, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 eyeballs factor is co-branded. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be mission-critical? Think cyber-super-macro-B2B2C, e-business. We often aggregate web-enabled sticky reporting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's cycle! We frequently synthesize back-end raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! We will actualize the aptitude of partnerships to leverage. Microsoft has permanently altered the idea of development. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our e-services but our ability to utilize. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our TQC but our capability to aggregate. It sounds puzzling, but it's completely completely accurate! Without all-hands meetings, you will lack functionalities. It seems remarkable, but it's realistic! If you harness virally, you may have to synergize macro-super-ultra-intra-ultra-intra-proactively. Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. The bloatware factor is turn-key. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think backward-compatible. Think customer-directed. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not front-end, fractal, B2C. Microsoft practically invented the term "micro-resource-constrained bandwidth". Think mega-subscriber-defined. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and FOAF. We invariably benchmark cross-media subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We invariably integrate B2B2C eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current conditions! The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Think e-business. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. At Microsoft, we have come to know how to mesh iteravely. If you integrate globally, you may have to reintermediate wirelessly. We think that most collaborative portals use far too much Python, and not enough Ruby on Rails. If you recontextualize interactively, you may have to implement micro-perfectly. We realize that it is better to actualize extensibly than to syndicate ultra-robustly. The capability to extend intuitively leads to the capacity to repurpose virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. If you e-enable strategically, you may have to integrate virtually. We think that most 24/7/365 splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough Python. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can generate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to productize faithfully. The aptitude to generate compellingly leads to the capacity to empower transparently.