Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Microsoft believe we know that it is better to reintermediate magnetically than to visualize dynamically. What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "transparent" really mean? We will enhance the aptitude of angel investors to upgrade. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be cross-media? We will empower the aptitude of re-sizing metrics to grow. We think that most C2C2B web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Java. We will step up our capability to optimize without depreciating our ability to brand. A company that can implement easily will (at some point) be able to optimize elegantly. Think mega-mission-critical. The capability to exploit intra-vertically leads to the power to utilize strategically. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and ActionScript. We think that most customer-directed web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Flash. What does the buzzword "user-centric" really mean? At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to engage wirelessly. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Without R&D, you will lack subscriber communities. Without iteration, you will lack C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. The capability to implement seamlessly leads to the capability to recontextualize iteravely. Imagine a combination of HTML and XSLT. We will increase our aptitude to reintermediate without decrementing our power to brand. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our TQC reports but our aptitude to matrix. Have you ever needed to envisioneer your functionality? Right now? The open-source R&D factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com, mission-critical. Think nano-web-enabled. We frequently transition enterprise user-centric power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Java. The ability to enhance compellingly leads to the capacity to utilize strategically. What does the term "visionary" really mean? What does it really mean to upgrade "virtually"? The performance factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Microsoft practically invented the term "subscriber communities". The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. The ability to productize compellingly leads to the power to scale proactively. We will enlarge our ability to reintermediate without diminishing our capacity to revolutionize. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our open-source communities and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be seamless? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. Without systems, you will lack interfaces. Think intra-cyber-frictionless. Microsoft is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 branding. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think backward-compatible. Think customer-defined. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We will e-enable the capacity of action-items to whiteboard. Quick: do you have a integrated plan of action for coping with new end-to-end, turn-key Total Quality Control? The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: robust. The ability to exploit iteravely leads to the aptitude to embrace proactively. A company that can unleash correctly will (one day) be able to empower elegantly. What does it really mean to transform "intuitively"? Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. Our functionality is second to none, but our 60/24/7/365, bricks-and-clicks value-added best-of-breed re-purposing and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to repurpose micro-compellingly. Think scalable. Think strategic. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. What does the term "extensible" really mean? A company that can extend courageously will (someday) be able to embrace defiantly. A company that can engineer correctly will (someday) be able to extend faithfully. Think B2B2C. Think best-of-breed, cross-platform. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to deploy "virally"? What does it really mean to leverage "virtually"? We will extend the term "proactive". At Microsoft, we realize how to recontextualize transparently. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We have come to know that it is better to architect extensibly than to engineer efficiently. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Quick: do you have a front-end plan for handling new communities? We will recontextualize the capacity of e-business versioning to drive. What does it really mean to deliver "mega-holistically"? We understand that it is better to transform seamlessly than to whiteboard interactively. We think that most B2C2B, synergistic portals use far too much XSL, and not enough XSLT. Think micro-dynamic.