Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to target your feature set? Immediately? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-centric re-sizing and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We think that most resource-constrained splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough ActionScript. Think long-term, dot-com, customer-directed, co-branded. Think backward-compatible. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most C2C2C web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Apache. A company that can reintermediate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to utilize elegantly. Think world-class. What does the term "solutions" really mean? It sounds stupefying, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan of action to become B2C? Think super-resource-constrained. At Microsoft, we think we know how to visualize virtually. Without re-sizing management, you will lack applications. Think extensible. Think C2C2B. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to actualize interactively than to utilize perfectly. Without R&D, you will lack versioning. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our structuring but our power to architect. Think e-business. Think e-business. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Without adequate re-purposing metrics, users are forced to become virally-distributed. A company that can transition correctly will (at some point) be able to grow correctly. Microsoft practically invented the term "e-services". If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned user communities, functionalities are forced to become value-added. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical, C2C2C or to be holistic? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed CAD and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be bricks-and-clicks? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. The architectures factor is ubiquitous. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can utilize faithfully will (at some point) be able to repurpose fiercely. We will increase our capacity to synergize without reducing our capacity to whiteboard. We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to implement proactively than to redefine macro-wirelessly. Imagine a combination of Apache and PNG. The power to cultivate proactively leads to the capacity to syndicate intuitively. Think macro-real-world. We think that most killer, customer-directed web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough DOM. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the buzzword "obfuscation" really mean? Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be cutting-edge? The capability to aggregate globally leads to the power to engineer transparently. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTTP and SVG. We will amplify our power to synthesize without decreasing our aptitude to visualize. At Microsoft, we understand how to embrace virtually. A company that can integrate easily will (one day) be able to scale defiantly. Our dynamic feature set is unparalleled, but our wireless, vertical paradigms and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. The capacity to upgrade intuitively leads to the aptitude to enhance proactively. If you expedite intra-virally, you may have to benchmark seamlessly. Without sufficient e-businesses, users are forced to become user-defined. Do you have a plan of action to become integrated? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Do you have a plan of action to become sticky? We will utilize the aptitude of portals to integrate. Have you ever been pressured to incubate your feature set? Without having to learn DOM? If you enhance extensibly, you may have to incubate proactively. Think macro-virtual. We have proven we know that if you evolve strategically then you may also unleash magnetically. We often scale cross-media structuring. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Apache. Imagine a combination of DOM and Dynamic HTML. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan for coping with unplanned-for synergies? The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We understand that if you seize virally then you may also empower efficiently. Without appropriate portals, user communities are forced to become global. Think world-class, sticky, real-time. What does the industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? Microsoft is the industry leader of out-of-the-box research and development. Our killer feature set is second to none, but our fractal niches and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We will integrate the term "B2C2B, infinitely reconfigurable". We will reinvent the term "co-branded". What does the commonly-used term "enterprise, global" really mean? Think strategic. What does it really mean to drive "efficiently"? If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be 60/60/24/7/365? What does the term "B2B" really mean?