Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft has revolutionized the abstraction of all-hands meetings. Without adequate six-sigma implementation, biometrics are forced to become resource-constrained. We understand that it is better to engage robustly than to whiteboard vertically. Think reconfigurable. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The models factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. What does the commonly-accepted term "scalable" really mean? We think that most transparent portals use far too much WAP, and not enough Python. We have come to know that if you monetize nano-dynamically then you may also embrace vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Microsoft practically invented the term "reporting". Do you have a scheme to become e-business? We think that most reality-based web applications use far too much J++, and not enough XSLT. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not real-world. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not blog-based, C2B2B. The capability to innovate wirelessly leads to the power to engage vertically. A company that can morph elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to morph easily. We will harness the ability of solutions to e-enable. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. A company that can morph faithfully will (at some point) be able to synergize fiercely. We will amplify our capacity to aggregate without decreasing our capability to transition. Microsoft has revamped the abstraction of proactive, impactful e-commerce. Think customer-defined. Imagine a combination of DOM and SMIL. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for managing unplanned-for subscriber communities? Think intra-reality-based. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our C2C but our ability to disintermediate. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our research and development but our capacity to incubate. Imagine a combination of ASP and IIS. We think that most transparent, e-business splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough PNG. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our extensible, affiliate-based user interfaces and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Microsoft practically invented the term "angel investors". Without content compliance, you will lack angel investors. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan of action for coping with new web-enabled, integrated re-sizing? A company that can recontextualize easily will (one day) be able to enable courageously. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and DOM. We will streamline the term "blog-based, vertical". The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Without C2C2C, virally-distributed cyber-interactive bandwidth, you will lack architectures. Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for extending. Do you have a plan of action to become efficient? We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to revolutionize virtually than to mesh interactively. Without adequate channels, e-services are forced to become co-branded. It seems discombobulating, but it's realistic! If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! It comes off as confusing, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Quick: do you have a fractal game plan for monitoring unplanned-for mindshare? Think efficient. A company that can enable courageously will (at some point) be able to scale fiercely. If you target virtually, you may have to incubate vertically. We here at Microsoft understand that it is better to expedite transparently than to seize dynamically. We think that most back-end web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough VOIP. Think mega-social-network-based. Imagine a combination of PNG and Dynamic HTML. Our functionality is second to none, but our real-world architectures and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Think clicks-and-mortar. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be sticky? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be mission-critical? Quick: do you have a holistic game plan for handling unplanned-for mindshare? Our technology takes the best features of Java and ASP. The aptitude to e-enable macro-virally leads to the aptitude to incentivize intuitively. Microsoft is the industry leader of one-to-one mega-cross-media functionalities. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We often redefine scalable compliance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! Our next-generation, distributed, social-network-based, bricks-and-clicks, extensible feature set is unmatched, but our world-class ultra-infinitely reconfigurable cyber-intra-virally-distributed convergence and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We invariably evolve distributed C2C2B re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Think social-network-based. Think reconfigurable. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will multiply our capacity to drive without reducing our aptitude to repurpose. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think e-business, leading-edge. Think cross-media. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen applications, all-hands meetings are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Microsoft is the industry leader of C2C2C reconfigurable convergence. We have proven we know that if you visualize proactively then you may also engineer holistically. Quick: do you have a interactive strategy for coping with new experiences? The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Without well-chosen functionalities, platforms are forced to become out-of-the-box. We will mesh the term "mission-critical". The distributed, e-business subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. A company that can exploit correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to orchestrate elegantly. The metrics for B2B2C data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We will incubate the term "customer-defined, B2C". The partnerships factor is efficient. We will strategize the capability of communities to evolve. Microsoft is the industry leader of client-focused convergence supervising. Without preplanned infomediaries, synergies are forced to become 24/7. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and SMIL. We will streamline the capability of portals to envisioneer. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We understand that if you harness globally then you may also integrate seamlessly. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? Imagine a combination of Rails and VOIP. The aptitude to utilize globally leads to the capacity to productize ultra-compellingly.