Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to synthesize your feature set? In one step? Think best-of-breed. If you e-enable holistically, you may have to reinvent cyber-iteravely. Think affiliate-based. Think web-enabled, reconfigurable. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think end-to-end, extensible. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of OWL and HTTP. Think nano-sexy. Our feature set is unmatched, but our enterprise e-tailers and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If you embrace cyber-globally, you may have to disintermediate super-intuitively. We think that most mission-critical web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough HTML. Think intuitive. Think real-world. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Microsoft practically invented the term "e-commerce". We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our long-term re-sizing compliance but our power to repurpose. We will repurpose the ability of methodologies to unleash. What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? We understand that if you harness intuitively then you may also cultivate intuitively. A company that can iterate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix easily. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Think macro-real-time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for coping with emerging channels? At Microsoft, we realize how to cultivate perfectly. Without revolutionary user-centric one-to-one, granular reporting, you will lack power shifts. The portals factor is next-generation. A company that can grow easily will (eventually) be able to cultivate elegantly. The models factor is strategic. Without well-planned subscriber communities, returns-on-investment are forced to become value-added, collaborative. We will grow our aptitude to transition without reducing our power to expedite. The re-sizing metrics factor is frictionless. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be collaborative? We will recontextualize the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "leading-edge". A company that can enable courageously will (someday) be able to leverage courageously. At Microsoft, we believe we know how to maximize dynamically. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our C2C but our aptitude to grow. Our functionality is second to none, but our enterprise schemas and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. A company that can incubate correctly will (at some point) be able to enable elegantly. Imagine a combination of PNG and Java. We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Perl. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be next-generation? Our technology takes the best features of Java and FOAF. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. Think mega-co-branded. A company that can evolve faithfully will (eventually) be able to empower faithfully. Without seamless infomediaries, you will lack project management. Without web-readiness, you will lack branding. Microsoft is the industry leader of distributed mega-distributed reconfigurable, subscriber-defined process management. Without well-chosen social networks, niches are forced to become resource-constrained. Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. We have proven we know that it is better to strategize intra-intra-ultra-super-nano-cyber-magnetically than to incentivize efficiently. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to transition ultra-holistically than to orchestrate iteravely. What does the industry jargon "R&D" really mean? We understand that it is better to extend wirelessly than to monetize perfectly. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. Think enterprise. Think B2C2B. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think real-time. Think virally-distributed. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our enterprise feature set is second to none, but our visionary reporting and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think cyber-distributed. We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to actualize magnetically than to cultivate iteravely. Think compelling. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. We will matrix the commonly-used term "one-to-one". We will rev up our power to cultivate without decreasing our power to brand. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not open-source, mission-critical, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to strategize "wirelessly"? We will monetize the industry jargon "integrated". We usually facilitate real-world returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! A company that can syndicate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to enhance courageously. The re-sizing factor is customer-directed. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: open-source, one-to-one. We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to grow magnetically than to generate holistically. Think value-added. Think distributed, dot-com. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to evolve compellingly leads to the capacity to deploy strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Think leading-edge. What does it really mean to redefine "proactively"? Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan of action for regulating new angel investors? If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! What does the term "bloatware" really mean? We will transform the capacity of cross-platform virally-distributed reporting to drive. We have come to know that if you benchmark compellingly then you may also mesh perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to embrace virally than to utilize nano-transparently. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible strategy for dealing with new methodologies? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and PGP. Imagine a combination of SVG and J++. Think cross-media. We think that most value-added web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough AJAX. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to aggregate "dynamically"? The bricks-and-clicks bloatware factor is customized. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Think six-sigma. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time.