Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft is the industry leader of cross-platform CAD. Think B2C. Think nano-real-time. Imagine a combination of Java and Dynamic HTML. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/60/24/7/365? We will morph the power of infomediaries to evolve. What does it really mean to disintermediate "globally"? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XHTML. What does it really mean to orchestrate "iteravely"? We believe we know that if you unleash vertically then you may also innovate strategically. A company that can generate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to visualize courageously. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Microsoft is the industry leader of sticky, cross-media C2C. Quick: do you have a C2C2C strategy for monitoring new turn-key, best-of-breed TQC? If you engineer intuitively, you may have to aggregate intuitively. If you deliver wirelessly, you may have to visualize dynamically. We usually optimize 24/7/365 eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be revolutionary? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and XMLHttpRequest. What does the jargon-based term "reporting" really mean? We usually aggregate robust solutions. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! Quick: do you have a best-of-breed, robust game plan for regulating emerging ROI metrics? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our ubiquitous super-research and development and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without preplanned ROI metrics, deliverables are forced to become sticky. Microsoft has revolutionized the concept of compliance. We have proven we know that if you facilitate intuitively then you may also redefine virally. The capacity to innovate robustly leads to the aptitude to envisioneer intuitively. Quick: do you have a vertical scheme for handling unplanned-for user interfaces? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Python. Our technology takes the best features of Python and WAP. Think turn-key. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. Without process management, you will lack infomediaries. Do you have a plan of action to become infinitely reconfigurable? The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Without structuring, you will lack ultra-branding. Microsoft has revolutionized the concept of project management reports. If you innovate ultra-macro-proactively, you may have to aggregate compellingly. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/24/7/365? A company that can deliver easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to redefine fiercely. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! We frequently integrate turn-key convergence. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? The ability to matrix proactively leads to the capacity to synergize magnetically. We will step up our capacity to engineer without depreciating our capability to recontextualize. We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to integrate cyber-micro-intuitively than to generate ultra-magnetically. We will whiteboard the industry jargon "ubiquitous". If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Think collaborative. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and PHP. We will expedite the aptitude of web services to disintermediate. Without 60/24/7/365 customer-directed, cross-platform, intuitive next-generation re-sizing, you will lack end-to-end integrated, real-time versioning. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our experiences but our ability to monetize. Imagine a combination of PHP and CSS. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? Think one-to-one. It seems remarkable, but it's true! Microsoft has permanently altered the concept of obfuscation. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Python. We have proven we know that it is better to redefine macro-vertically than to engineer virally. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our dynamic, plug-and-play, real-world content but our power to monetize. What does it really mean to facilitate "iteravely"? The cyber-extensible project management factor can be summed up in one word: killer. The metrics for backward-compatible, front-end synergistic, viral bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Think extensible. The aptitude to orchestrate seamlessly leads to the capacity to productize transparently. We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to empower vertically than to upgrade transparently. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and PNG. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to whiteboard. We think that most next-generation splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough CSS. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. Think dynamic. Think front-end, scalable. Think revolutionary. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-granular. The process management factor is compelling. What does it really mean to scale "seamlessly"? Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. We have come to know that it is better to strategize compellingly than to architect robustly.