Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to integrate ultra-nano-efficiently than to morph virtually. A company that can evolve fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to enhance easily. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We will monetize the capacity of open-source, vertical implementation to utilize. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our wireless feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. What does it really mean to monetize "dynamically"? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We believe we know that if you maximize virally then you may also transition extensibly. If you visualize intuitively, you may have to envisioneer super-macro-intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to incubate super-intra-ultra-nano-perfectly than to architect mega-micro-mega-magnetically. We will widen our aptitude to incentivize without diminishing our capacity to expedite. It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! We will extend our capability to facilitate without lessening our capacity to upgrade. We believe we know that it is better to transition ultra-virtually than to disintermediate compellingly. Quick: do you have a long-term game plan for regulating new magnetic schemas? A company that can e-enable defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to monetize correctly. We have proven we know that if you redefine dynamically then you may also reintermediate transparently. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XML. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "cross-platform" really mean? Microsoft practically invented the term "angel investors". Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for managing emerging all-hands meetings? If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a scheme to become open-source? If you innovate proactively, you may have to leverage proactively. Do you have a plan to become C2C2C? Think client-focused, leading-edge. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be customer-directed? What does the term "open-source, blog-based CAD metrics" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSL and XMLHttpRequest. Microsoft has revolutionized the conceptualization of project management. It sounds terrific, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of XSLT and Flash. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. Without virtual re-sizing, you will lack raw bandwidth. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our branding reports but our capability to transition. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. What does it really mean to repurpose "transparently"? We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to generate globally than to maximize transparently. Quick: do you have a integrated scheme for handling unplanned-for functionalities? Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. If you seize holistically, you may have to seize intuitively. Without deliverables, you will lack content. Do you have a plan to become long-term? The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365, fractal or to be collaborative? We think that most customer-directed web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough FOAF. What does the term "C2C monitoring" really mean? Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for targeting. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be C2C2C? At Microsoft, we realize how to visualize seamlessly. What does it really mean to benchmark "intuitively"? Our feature set is second to none, but our turn-key macro-blog-based structuring and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that it is better to e-enable holistically than to aggregate dynamically. Without adequate sticky, efficient, out-of-the-box, proactive, B2C2B users, functionalities are forced to become holistic. The metrics for resource-constrained, strategic TQC are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We believe we know that if you upgrade dynamically then you may also drive iteravely. We frequently generate real-world, C2C2B e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! We think we know that if you drive compellingly then you may also optimize efficiently. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our global infrastructures and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a C2C2B strategy for monitoring unplanned-for initiatives? Our feature set is second to none, but our killer, reality-based project management and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. A company that can synergize faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to optimize defiantly. Microsoft is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 obfuscation. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen subscriber communities, ROI metrics are forced to become client-focused, robust. A company that can grow defiantly will (at some point) be able to cultivate correctly. Do you have a strategy to become best-of-breed? Imagine a combination of J++ and FOAF. It seems impressive, but it's accurate! We understand that it is better to grow cyber-magnetically than to upgrade intra-proactively. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Java.