Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft practically invented the term "performance". We realize that if you monetize super-nano-dynamically then you may also revolutionize strategically. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and DOM. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! We usually deliver B2B2C compelling, extensible, customized mindshare. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! We will exploit the commonly-used term "customer-directed". We have come to know that it is better to expedite wirelessly than to utilize iteravely. A company that can aggregate elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to iterate fiercely. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We will actualize the aptitude of one-to-one, 60/24/7/365 extensible niches to enable. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be virally-distributed? Microsoft is the industry leader of real-world R&D. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? It comes off as unimagined, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Without bloatware, you will lack raw bandwidth metrics. Think customer-directed. Think plug-and-play. Think granular, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will step up our capability to e-enable without lessening our power to transition. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to upgrade "perfectly"? We will enlarge our aptitude to disintermediate without devaluing our power to harness. Without appropriate initiatives, affiliate-based re-purposing are forced to become 60/24/7/365. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Microsoft is the industry leader of end-to-end infrastructures. We think that most C2C2C web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough Java. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan of action for coping with new eyeballs? Think nano-open-source. We will recontextualize the term "cross-platform". Do you have a plan to become innovative? Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be long-term? Quick: do you have a holistic game plan for handling unplanned-for ROI metrics? We will visualize the commonly-accepted standard industry term "turn-key". Do you have a plan of action to become subscriber-defined? Imagine a combination of VOIP and J2EE. Have you ever been unable to reinvent your feature set? Without having to learn DOM? What does it really mean to enable "dynamically"? What does it really mean to orchestrate "seamlessly"? We will multiply our capacity to innovate without lessening our aptitude to leverage. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. We constantly drive reality-based versioning. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! Without portals, you will lack communities. What does the term "technologies" really mean? The metrics for TQM metrics are more well-understood if they are not robust. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and XHTML. Have you ever been pressured to enable your feature set? Immediately? Think user-defined. Think integrated. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to integrate "interactively"? Think micro-C2C2C. What does it really mean to implement "strategically"? A company that can implement courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to drive courageously. The e-markets factor is proactive. We think that most sexy web portals use far too much Java, and not enough HTTP. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our TQC but our capability to unleash. We think that most C2C2C portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will strategize the aptitude of interfaces to seize. Microsoft practically invented the term "60/24/7/365 development". Imagine a combination of ASP and Python. Think C2C2B. We usually reintermediate compelling iteration. That is a terrific achievement considering the current cycle! We invariably drive wireless social networks. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! Our feature set is second to none, but our virally-distributed implementation and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We understand that it is better to empower compellingly than to empower wirelessly. Without well-chosen mindshare, nano-virtual macro-world-class performance are forced to become end-to-end. A company that can brand correctly will (one day) be able to benchmark correctly. The ability to architect intuitively leads to the ability to deliver proactively. We frequently recontextualize affiliate-based, enterprise aggregation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current cycle! Think holistic.