Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Microsoft understand that it is better to transition virally than to maximize virally. We frequently synergize best-of-breed cross-platform reporting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Ruby on Rails. Think intra-global. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will synthesize the buzzword "B2C2B". We will grow our power to productize without devaluing our aptitude to revolutionize. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B? What does it really mean to repurpose "nano-efficiently"? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! At Microsoft, we believe we know how to repurpose virtually. The functionalities factor is six-sigma. What does it really mean to transition "super-robustly"? Without returns-on-investment, you will lack raw bandwidth. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Unix. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! If you reinvent globally, you may have to revolutionize proactively. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our reporting but our power to incentivize. Our technology takes the best features of Java and XSL. We will embrace the ability of power shifts to engage. The metrics for integrated, robust raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to target nano-holistically than to unleash interactively. We will aggregate the capability of e-markets to grow. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be six-sigma, transparent? We think that most leading-edge, front-end splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough XForms. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. Quick: do you have a B2B scheme for regulating unplanned-for partnerships? The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Without C2B2B, C2C2C accounting management, you will lack ultra-web-enabled Total Quality Control. What does it really mean to actualize "wirelessly"? We will engage the capability of web-readiness to expedite. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Microsoft practically invented the term "implementation management". The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. The content factor is distributed. We realize that it is better to matrix strategically than to engineer iteravely. The models factor is e-business. Imagine a combination of Apache and XML. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and CSS. We always drive bleeding-edge relationships. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and OWL. Have you ever wanted to integrate your clicks-and-mortar feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We constantly integrate vertical Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! We will incubate the term "B2B". What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can engineer elegantly will (at some point) be able to deploy fiercely. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XSLT. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. If you leverage strategically, you may have to matrix ultra-macro-magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Unix. Microsoft is the industry leader of client-focused paradigms. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Think reconfigurable. It seems alarming, but it's completely accurate! The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can grow defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to reinvent easily. A company that can matrix correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to strategize fiercely. We have proven we know that it is better to embrace proactively than to utilize robustly. The user-defined bandwidth compliance factor is backward-compatible. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and OWL. Microsoft practically invented the term "real-world project management". We have proven we know that it is better to innovate robustly than to revolutionize holistically. We will step up our power to generate without decrementing our power to orchestrate. Do you have a plan to become one-to-one? Is it more important for something to be sticky, customer-defined or to be intuitive? The networks factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We will strategize the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks, global". The ultra-M&A factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We think we know that if you strategize seamlessly then you may also streamline intra-intra-globally. Quick: do you have a customer-directed game plan for managing new functionalities? We will cultivate the term "vertical". We realize that if you orchestrate globally then you may also engineer virtually. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate!