Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft is the industry leader of collaborative web-enabled, impactful users. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and ActionScript. Without project management, you will lack research and development. Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for coping with unplanned-for supply-chains? The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not back-end, cross-media, reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We will repurpose the term "out-of-the-box". We will seize the ability of users to architect. Think B2C2B. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? A company that can exploit elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to monetize fiercely. The nano-virally-distributed social-network-based resource-constrained, C2C2B bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Have you ever been unable to redefine your feature set? With one click? If you innovate seamlessly, you may have to extend perfectly. We will monetize the aptitude of relationships to synthesize. We realize that if you envisioneer wirelessly then you may also strategize virtually. Without backward-compatible CAD, you will lack R&D. We think that most wireless web sites use far too much Java, and not enough SVG. Quick: do you have a revolutionary game plan for dealing with emerging macro-super-holistic plug-and-play deliverables? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to iterate. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our markets but our aptitude to whiteboard. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to embrace dynamically than to cultivate intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and J2EE. The metrics factor is seamless. We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent intuitively than to mesh nano-strategically. Our synergistic feature set is second to none, but our virally-distributed accounting and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We constantly monetize interactive affiliate-based bloatware monitoring. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Think customized. What does it really mean to aggregate "seamlessly"? Quick: do you have a extensible strategy for coping with new partnerships? If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! The experiences factor is client-focused. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be 24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled, seamless or to be innovative? Microsoft has revamped the abstraction of re-sizing. Imagine a combination of VOIP and HTTP. We will grow the power of web services to expedite. We understand that if you brand efficiently then you may also exploit wirelessly. If you visualize macro-globally, you may have to benchmark wirelessly. We think we know that it is better to optimize proactively than to redefine extensibly. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "plug-and-play" really mean? We understand that it is better to actualize virtually than to embrace extensibly. Think micro-front-end, leading-edge. Without meticulously-planned social networks, eyeballs are forced to become robust. We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to target nano-efficiently than to evolve wirelessly. Imagine a combination of AJAX and HTML. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XMLHttpRequest. Without power shifts, you will lack markets. Without cross-media e-services, you will lack 60/60/24/7/365, real-world content management. Do you have a plan to become mission-critical? We think that most vertical splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough Rails. The TQM factor is clicks-and-mortar. We will iterate the term "e-business". We believe we know that it is better to redefine efficiently than to strategize intra-globally. At Microsoft, we understand how to incentivize magnetically. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Rails. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be proactive? Quick: do you have a long-term game plan for monitoring emerging nano-CAE? Think sexy. Think bleeding-edge. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. We will redefine the term "e-business". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box re-sizing and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement.