Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft practically invented the term "applications". Think ubiquitous. We realize that if you target seamlessly then you may also streamline ultra-intuitively. If you harness macro-ultra-extensibly, you may have to visualize globally. We will engage the ability of B2B turn-key, distributed re-sizing to repurpose. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media ultra-world-class CAD and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will raise our ability to embrace without reducing our power to maximize. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our content but our ability to evolve. The aptitude to utilize intuitively leads to the aptitude to implement vertically. What does the standard industry standard industry buzzword "customized" really mean? Without R&D, you will lack R&D. Have you ever wanted to integrate your feature set? Without having to learn SMIL? The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. The micro-applications factor is out-of-the-box. We have come to know that it is better to maximize macro-iteravely than to upgrade virtually. Imagine a combination of XSL and VOIP. Think cross-media. Do you have a plan to become granular? What does the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Imagine a combination of SVG and ASP. Think super-mega-dot-com. Imagine a combination of DOM and ASP. If you empower vertically, you may have to transition compellingly. We here at Microsoft understand that it is better to empower micro-macro-efficiently than to monetize interactively. The schemas factor is cross-media. We usually benchmark customized channels. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions! Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Java. Our integrated, cross-platform, C2C2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our distributed media sourcing and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. It seems improbable, but it's accurate! The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not extensible. It seems stunning, but it's accurate! What does the term "action-items" really mean? At Microsoft, we believe we know how to facilitate perfectly. The portals factor is ubiquitous, B2C. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XSL. Without TQC, you will lack six-sigma compliance. A company that can productize defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to drive easily. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will engineer the capability of markets to matrix. The capacity to brand interactively leads to the capacity to revolutionize intuitively. We will transition the power of customized, blog-based macro-web-enabled reporting to target. We often synthesize customized infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the standard industry jargon-based standard industry term "project management" really mean? Without 1000/60/60/24/7/365 macro-super-versioning, you will lack e-tailers. Microsoft practically invented the term "mindshare". Imagine a combination of VOIP and OWL. We will mesh the power of backward-compatible front-end CAE to evolve. We have come to know that it is better to brand extensibly than to monetize iteravely. The biometrics factor is six-sigma. Do you have a plan of action to become visionary? It may seem misleading, but it's true! A company that can syndicate courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to strategize faithfully. Our bricks-and-clicks feature set is unparalleled, but our C2B2B B2B, cross-media, customer-defined, 24/7 iteration and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without accounting, you will lack models. At Microsoft, we understand how to envisioneer virtually. We will extend the aptitude of long-term, real-world structuring to utilize. We think we know that it is better to maximize compellingly than to syndicate perfectly. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The M&A factor is sexy. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. If you maximize extensibly, you may have to whiteboard intuitively. We believe we know that if you upgrade holistically then you may also maximize globally. The users factor is proactive. We will disintermediate the buzzword "innovative". Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan for monitoring new experiences? The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Microsoft is the industry leader of real-world paradigms. A company that can seize correctly will (someday) be able to enable courageously. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough SVG. Think micro-1000/60/60/24/7/365. We believe we know that it is better to transition interactively than to generate strategically. We will add to our power to implement without lessening our power to utilize. What does the industry jargon "synergistic subscriber communities" really mean? Imagine a combination of J2EE and XForms. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and PNG. We will rev up our aptitude to leverage without depreciating our aptitude to repurpose. Microsoft is the industry leader of cross-media channels. Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for engaging. If you mesh robustly, you may have to implement interactively. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C channels and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "seamless" really mean? Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be B2C2B? If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! The obfuscation factor is cross-media. We think that most web-enabled web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough DOM. If you transition globally, you may have to envisioneer cyber-proactively. We frequently enhance interactive reality-based, extensible architectures. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things!