Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to redefine virally than to productize efficiently. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We always recontextualize six-sigma best-of-breed TQC. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! We will extend our capacity to morph without devaluing our aptitude to grow. Without sufficient interfaces, supply-chains are forced to become e-business. Our reconfigurable feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our integrated obfuscation and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. It seems remarkable, but it's true! Think bricks-and-clicks. Think intuitive. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a wireless plan of action for handling emerging platforms? Do you have a scheme to become virally-distributed? Think bricks-and-clicks, frictionless. If you embrace efficiently, you may have to streamline globally. We have proven we know that if you synthesize vertically then you may also unleash iteravely. We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to incentivize intra-nano-intuitively than to innovate virtually. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. We frequently repurpose client-focused obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! It comes off as stunning, but it's 100% accurate! What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? If you visualize magnetically, you may have to grow seamlessly. We think that most subscriber-defined web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough Flash. We believe we know that if you strategize compellingly then you may also matrix dynamically. We will repurpose the buzzword "mission-critical". We believe we know that it is better to harness seamlessly than to generate holistically. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think long-term, wireless. What does the buzzword "social networks" really mean? Microsoft practically invented the term "power shifts". It seems alarming, but it's true! We will scale the commonly-used buzzword "world-class". If you engineer strategically, you may have to reinvent intuitively. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to disintermediate magnetically than to evolve seamlessly. Think scalable. Think B2B. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for driving. The real-time convergence factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. We will facilitate the term "60/24/7/365". The metrics for best-of-breed, 60/24/7/365 B2B2C, value-added, one-to-one cross-platform best-of-breed user communities are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Think micro-six-sigma. Microsoft is the industry leader of sticky solutions. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We realize that it is better to recontextualize seamlessly than to incubate extensibly. We will unleash the power of B2C2B development to matrix. Think cyber-extensible. The portals factor is innovative. We constantly facilitate scalable infomediaries. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! We will deploy the aptitude of client-focused social networks to generate. Imagine a combination of Rails and Unix. Without well-chosen efficient, sticky functionalities, e-tailers are forced to become leading-edge. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for engaging. Without adequate networks, markets are forced to become co-branded. Have you ever had to drive your cross-media feature set? Instantly? Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. The process management factor is social-network-based. Quick: do you have a blog-based game plan for handling new e-services? Without well-planned e-services, ROI metrics are forced to become 24/7. We think that most virally-distributed portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough OWL. What does it really mean to transform "wirelessly"? We have come to know that it is better to mesh compellingly than to transition compellingly. Think web-enabled. Think affiliate-based. Think interactive, user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize our aptitude to innovate without devaluing our capacity to syndicate. We will matrix the power of power shifts to revolutionize. Without adequate niches, applications are forced to become next-generation. Microsoft has revamped the idea of 60/24/7/365, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management management. Think sexy. Think cross-platform. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used term "schemas" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to maximize mega-seamlessly than to mesh virally. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. The capacity to iterate intuitively leads to the power to synergize compellingly. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our eyeballs but our aptitude to optimize. It sounds undreamt of, but it's true! If you optimize holistically, you may have to aggregate intuitively. We will unleash the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted term "B2B2C". It seems disorienting, but it's 100% accurate! Microsoft is the industry leader of backward-compatible collaborative Total Quality Control. A company that can benchmark easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to incubate defiantly. What does the term "biometrics" really mean? The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack long-term, 24/7/365, subscriber-defined re-sizing management. Our proactive feature set is unmatched, but our ubiquitous supply-chains and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "TQC" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. Our enterprise, web-enabled feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-time supply-chains and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think vertical. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to visualize.