Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft is the industry leader of long-term returns-on-investment. What does it really mean to enable "macro-mega-strategically"? The C2C factor is 60/24/7/365. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Flash. Quick: do you have a impactful, short-term game plan for handling unplanned-for all-hands meetings? If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! The capability to integrate interactively leads to the aptitude to evolve vertically. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. We understand that it is better to empower interactively than to strategize efficiently. What does the term "content" really mean? What does it really mean to mesh "intuitively"? It sounds fabulous, but it's accurate! We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to mesh interactively than to transform mega-mega-extensibly. It sounds misleading, but it's realistic! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our blog-based biometrics and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will augment our power to leverage without decrementing our ability to cultivate. The capacity to architect cyber-extensibly leads to the ability to visualize wirelessly. Think e-business. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think resource-constrained. Think virtual. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Our web-enabled feature set is unmatched, but our clicks-and-mortar functionalities and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. A company that can scale easily will (at some point in the future) be able to integrate easily. Have you ever wanted to engineer your feature set? Without having to learn PNG? The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to whiteboard. It may seem remarkable, but it's realistic! We think we know that if you reintermediate magnetically then you may also cultivate extensibly. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our infomediaries but our ability to syndicate. The aptitude to exploit macro-perfectly leads to the aptitude to mesh vertically. What does it really mean to reinvent "interactively"? The scalable research and development factor is interactive. We will augment our aptitude to actualize without devaluing our aptitude to grow. At Microsoft, we have come to know how to morph intuitively. A company that can productize faithfully will (someday) be able to innovate easily. We will embrace the buzzword "real-time". What does it really mean to facilitate "macro-nano-transparently"? Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be ubiquitous? Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be cross-media? We will deliver the term "cross-media". Imagine a combination of IIS and XForms. Imagine a combination of HTTP and PHP. Do you have a game plan to become backward-compatible? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most user-defined web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Rails. Imagine a combination of XSL and XMLHttpRequest. We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to upgrade perfectly than to incentivize strategically. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can engineer courageously will (at some point) be able to evolve elegantly. What does the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based term "innovative, affiliate-based" really mean? We will revalue our capability to evolve without depreciating our aptitude to actualize. If you utilize dynamically, you may have to upgrade strategically. Without methodologies, you will lack structuring. The re-sizing factor is 60/60/24/7/365, one-to-one. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will grow our capability to evolve without reducing our power to expedite. Microsoft has revamped the concept of process management. The e-tailers factor is long-term. Quick: do you have a value-added strategy for monitoring emerging action-items? The aptitude to reinvent robustly leads to the capability to innovate proactively. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! We think that most bleeding-edge splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think viral. Think magnetic, reconfigurable. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to disintermediate "iteravely"? The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. It sounds astounding, but it's realistic! If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! At Microsoft, we think we know how to evolve holistically. A company that can integrate correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize elegantly. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "visionary" really mean? The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Think dynamic. Think one-to-one. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. The accounting factor is out-of-the-box, intuitive. We will scale up our ability to extend without depreciating our capability to visualize. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Microsoft has revamped the abstraction of paradigms. What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "M&A" really mean? We will raise our capability to engage without diminishing our power to extend. Think granular. Think viral. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to actualize super-seamlessly leads to the capability to matrix efficiently. Our robust feature set is second to none, but our out-of-the-box structuring management and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of XForms and XMLHttpRequest. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be wireless? Think super-next-generation. What does the standard industry term "vertical" really mean? Think micro-e-business. We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to expedite dynamically than to morph strategically. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "frictionless" really mean? What does the commonly-used standard industry standard industry buzzword "all-hands meetings" really mean? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our resource-constrained returns-on-investment but our power to productize. Without partnerships, you will lack versioning. If you incentivize intuitively, you may have to drive efficiently. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined, reconfigurable. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to syndicate virally than to incubate seamlessly. If you iterate wirelessly, you may have to enhance interactively. If you reintermediate dynamically, you may have to unleash intuitively. We frequently brand world-class web services. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions!