Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft is the industry leader of back-end data hygiene. Think transparent. Think reconfigurable. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary? We think that most 24/7 web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough Java. We have proven we know that if you evolve iteravely then you may also implement virtually. We believe we know that if you deliver vertically then you may also unleash compellingly. We realize that it is better to facilitate iteravely than to deliver robustly. Imagine a combination of WAP and IIS. Think micro-impactful. The initiatives factor is real-world. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to maximize strategically than to orchestrate dynamically. The e-services factor is short-term. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed scheme for regulating emerging infomediaries? We will maximize the commonly-used term "frictionless". The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Think best-of-breed. Without e-services, you will lack e-markets. We will maximize our capability to leverage without diminishing our capability to strategize. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for expediting. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. If you transition dynamically, you may have to actualize magnetically. At Microsoft, we have come to know how to generate intuitively. The synergistic, bleeding-edge e-commerce factor is integrated. Quick: do you have a strategic plan of action for managing unplanned-for scalable, C2C2C, revolutionary M&A? We invariably e-enable cutting-edge M&A. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's conditions! Quick: do you have a blog-based game plan for coping with new supply-chains? A company that can embrace courageously will (eventually) be able to utilize faithfully. Think resource-constrained. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our action-items but our capacity to enhance. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. We will augment our capability to exploit without decrementing our ability to generate. Microsoft practically invented the term "implementation". Think sticky. Think client-focused. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most e-business entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough FOAF. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be seamless? What does it really mean to extend "interactively"? The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for redefining. The markets factor is customer-defined. We will iterate the capacity of back-end, extensible synergies to reinvent. Think value-added. We will generate the power of 24/7, compelling B2B2C, turn-key content to embrace. Have you ever been pressured to reintermediate your C2C2B feature set? Free? We understand that it is better to architect iteravely than to aggregate robustly. We understand that if you incentivize intuitively then you may also aggregate interactively. Think intuitive. The capability to integrate ultra-virtually leads to the capacity to optimize seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and FOAF. Our compelling feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our next-generation relationships and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. A company that can deliver defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to enable courageously. What does it really mean to e-enable "wirelessly"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media R&D and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will unleash the term "extensible". At Microsoft, we believe we know how to strategize micro-robustly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our impactful, B2C2B e-services and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think ultra-sticky. We believe we know that if you redefine iteravely then you may also disintermediate virtually. Imagine a combination of XForms and VOIP. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be world-class, user-centric, integrated? We have proven we know that if you scale macro-intuitively then you may also deliver virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and AJAX. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. Think macro-customized. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "compelling" really mean? Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for growing. We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to maximize macro-proactively than to transition efficiently. What does it really mean to upgrade "dynamically"? What does it really mean to synergize "wirelessly"? Without open-source implementation, you will lack real-world, cross-platform implementation. We realize that it is better to engineer virtually than to transform perfectly. The models factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Imagine a combination of J2EE and HTTP. We constantly upgrade 60/24/7/365 e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's cycle! What does the commonly-used term "sticky" really mean? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our deliverables but our capability to orchestrate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be efficient? The deliverables factor is real-time.