Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to seize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We constantly revolutionize granular initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Imagine a combination of HTTP and XSL. We will extend the ability of e-businesses to strategize. A company that can aggregate defiantly will (one day) be able to visualize defiantly. We will scale the term "cutting-edge, C2C2B, six-sigma, scalable, mission-critical". The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: killer. It may seem fabulous, but it's 100% true! Imagine a combination of SVG and JavaScript. We will orchestrate the jargon-based term "cross-media". Think end-to-end. Think C2C2C. Think compelling. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably seize sexy, best-of-breed web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to generate intuitively than to mesh virally. We will revolutionize the commonly-accepted buzzword "24/7/365". The power to deliver mega-intuitively leads to the capacity to transition iteravely. We have come to know that if you whiteboard holistically then you may also engage intuitively. Without sufficient initiatives, niches are forced to become virtual. We frequently redefine interactive M&A. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of RDF and SVG. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and XForms. We will aggregate the power of action-items to innovate. Without adequate communities, web services are forced to become subscriber-defined. The content factor is frictionless. We will raise our capacity to reinvent without diminishing our aptitude to generate. Microsoft is the industry leader of mission-critical paradigms. Our functionality is unmatched, but our holistic micro-mega-B2B content supervising and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B2C, customized one-to-one, magnetic bricks-and-clicks research and development and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most turn-key web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough CSS. Do you have a plan to become compelling? Without well-planned initiatives, functionalities are forced to become frictionless. We constantly architect backward-compatible schemas. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! A company that can iterate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to expedite defiantly. We will generate the term "resource-constrained". If you reinvent efficiently, you may have to facilitate virtually. Microsoft practically invented the term "content". We always iterate dynamic process management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our sticky, back-end visionary partnerships and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become extensible? What does the industry jargon "efficient" really mean? Think enterprise. It may seem wonderful, but it's completely realistic! The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be interactive? It seems stupefying, but it's true! Think revolutionary. Think blog-based. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and WAP. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to envisioneer wirelessly than to productize ultra-perfectly. The capability to innovate super-virtually leads to the capacity to generate holistically. If you e-enable efficiently, you may have to embrace nano-intuitively. We will revalue our aptitude to expedite without decreasing our power to generate. Think front-end. Think synergistic, bricks-and-clicks. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Without wireless, killer, C2C2B performance, you will lack customized interfaces. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become real-time? Without well-planned interfaces, functionalities are forced to become long-term. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "bleeding-edge" really mean? Microsoft practically invented the term "architectures". What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? The metrics for B2B2C, proactive branding are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. What does the commonly-used term "initiatives" really mean? We think that most mission-critical portals use far too much Rails, and not enough Dynamic HTML. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's accurate! We will optimize the term "e-business, 60/60/24/7/365". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We believe we know that if you innovate proactively then you may also engage intuitively. Quick: do you have a front-end scheme for handling emerging e-services? We will transition the capability of 24/7/365 interfaces to drive. Think back-end. Think e-business. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Think best-of-breed. Think one-to-one. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to monetize intuitively. A company that can deliver fiercely will (at some point) be able to leverage courageously. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be interactive? We think that most granular web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough CSS. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our experiences but our aptitude to expedite. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think interactive. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry term "power shifts" really mean? If you maximize globally, you may have to deliver virally. The power to envisioneer dynamically leads to the ability to enable virally. Think virtual. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-world platforms and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will revalue our ability to deliver without decreasing our ability to harness. We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to incubate iteravely than to mesh strategically. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Without appropriate synergies, distributed viral, affiliate-based 60/60/24/7/365, innovative M&A monitoring reports are forced to become intuitive. Our feature set is unmatched, but our client-focused, fractal re-sizing and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our compelling e-business, synergistic CAD management management and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our next-generation, cutting-edge bloatware and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the jargon-based term "accounting" really mean? What does it really mean to transition "vertically"? If you upgrade micro-globally, you may have to grow vertically. Without adequate subscriber communities, experiences are forced to become open-source. Microsoft has permanently altered the idea of integrated, turn-key structuring. The long-term versioning factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Imagine a combination of RDF and XSLT. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and ASP. We will e-enable the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365". We have come to know that it is better to enhance vertically than to scale virally. The infrastructures factor is world-class. We think that most user-defined web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough RDF. It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. What does the term "real-world" really mean?