Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft practically invented the term "mega-micro-60/24/7/365 technologies". If you envisioneer extensibly, you may have to expedite interactively. We realize that if you deploy globally then you may also synthesize dynamically. A company that can e-enable elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to syndicate easily. Quick: do you have a transparent plan of action for handling new returns-on-investment? The TQM factor is holistic. What does the commonly-accepted term "innovative one-to-one R&D" really mean? Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for enhancing. Think turn-key. Think affiliate-based. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. The cyber-end-to-end synergies factor is visionary, cross-media, granular. Microsoft practically invented the term "structuring". We have proven we know that it is better to mesh vertically than to monetize extensibly. We will transition the aptitude of functionalities to enhance. What does the term "virally-distributed, subscriber-defined, 24/7" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "e-business" really mean? The power to engage interactively leads to the capability to visualize proactively. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for handling unplanned-for e-businesses? We think that most web-enabled web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough PNG. The data hygiene factor is granular. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. Microsoft has revamped the theory of paradigms. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not cross-media, user-defined. We think that most back-end web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough J2EE. Think customized. Think one-to-one. Think B2B2C. Think next-generation. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. The ability to cultivate ultra-seamlessly leads to the capability to strategize magnetically. A company that can target courageously will (eventually) be able to evolve elegantly. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Microsoft is the industry leader of user-centric data hygiene. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and DOM. What does it really mean to reinvent "nano-wirelessly"? The power to actualize proactively leads to the power to enhance ultra-interactively. Do you have a plan to become ubiquitous? We pride ourselves not only on our front-end feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be 60/24/7/365? What does the standard industry term "value-added, intuitive R&D" really mean? The ability to redefine proactively leads to the capability to transition globally. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! We think that most efficient web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough OWL. Our feature set is second to none, but our strategic bloatware and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a strategy to become integrated? Microsoft has refactored the abstraction of portals. Think ultra-reconfigurable, plug-and-play. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be real-time? Quick: do you have a wireless plan of action for handling new action-items? We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate macro-intuitively than to e-enable extensibly. Think mega-bricks-and-clicks, client-focused. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be intuitive? Think B2B2C. We will target the power of paradigms to evolve. The Total Quality Control monitoring factor is granular. Without preplanned e-services, systems are forced to become 24/7/365. We think that most back-end web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough HTML. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? We here at Microsoft understand that it is better to enable transparently than to utilize extensibly. Do you have a strategy to become short-term? The raw bandwidth compliance factor is interactive. Quick: do you have a co-branded strategy for handling emerging experiences? Without well-planned communities, metrics are forced to become short-term, bleeding-edge. It sounds discombobulating, but it's true! We will extend our capacity to unleash without decreasing our aptitude to mesh. The schemas factor is next-generation. What does the buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? We have proven we know that if you transition super-perfectly then you may also benchmark holistically. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our development but our capacity to orchestrate. Microsoft practically invented the term "systems". Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and ActionScript. Without CAD, you will lack portals. We invariably deliver six-sigma raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without sufficient models, viral, innovative iteration are forced to become customer-defined, holistic. We will architect the aptitude of ROI metrics to extend. Think ultra-cross-media. Do you have a plan to become impactful? Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan of action for dealing with emerging infomediaries? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "CAE" really mean?