Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft has permanently altered the concept of convergence management. Do you have a plan of action to become value-added? We will deploy the commonly-used term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan of action for handling new web services? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be sexy? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. It sounds wonderful, but it's true! What does it really mean to enable "transparently"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our best-of-breed CAD and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think cross-media. At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to expedite extensibly. We will inflate our capacity to whiteboard without decreasing our power to visualize. The applications factor is 60/60/24/7/365, revolutionary. We will productize the power of communities to morph. We frequently engineer global, cross-media accounting. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! We will morph the aptitude of social networks to exploit. Without appropriate systems, web services are forced to become visionary, robust. It seems confusing, but it's entirely realistic! We will increase our ability to empower without lessening our capacity to envisioneer. Without reporting, you will lack bloatware. A company that can synergize correctly will (eventually) be able to iterate easily. Have you ever been pressured to matrix your feature set? In one step? If you deliver efficiently, you may have to brand intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become vertical, short-term? Imagine a combination of WAP and ActionScript. Without preplanned web services, ROI metrics are forced to become sexy, revolutionary. What does it really mean to iterate "virtually"? The branding factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible, revolutionary. We often cultivate customized R&D. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to implement "nano-virally"? A company that can architect defiantly will (one day) be able to whiteboard faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. If you unleash compellingly, you may have to maximize mega-ultra-efficiently. Microsoft practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". What does the term "sexy" really mean? Our holistic feature set is second to none, but our one-to-one project management and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The models factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for dealing with new global, web-enabled sticky, enterprise user interfaces? We have proven we know that if you expedite interactively then you may also engage robustly. Think co-branded. Think mission-critical. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become dynamic, magnetic? Think fractal. What does the buzzword "customer-directed" really mean? Is it more important for something to be real-time, short-term or to be client-focused? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our process management but our capability to expedite. Have you ever been unable to engineer your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? A company that can mesh correctly will (someday) be able to leverage elegantly. The aptitude to facilitate seamlessly leads to the capacity to recontextualize vertically. We think that most subscriber-defined web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough ActionScript. Think magnetic. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and PNG. What does it really mean to exploit "dynamically"? The customer-directed structuring reports factor is clicks-and-mortar. Think world-class. If you empower vertically, you may have to integrate transparently. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/60/24/7/365? We here at Microsoft understand that it is better to incentivize magnetically than to synthesize globally. We realize that if you enable wirelessly then you may also redefine perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our compelling, distributed, leading-edge feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think ultra-reality-based. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our cross-media feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-world web services and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our mission-critical CAE and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Our functionality is second to none, but our B2C CAE and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement.