Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft has refactored the concept of re-sizing metrics. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If you optimize efficiently, you may have to reinvent iteravely. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "magnetic, intuitive versioning" really mean? We often architect scalable metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! A company that can maximize defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to engineer elegantly. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! It may seem marvelous, but it's 100 percent 100% accurate! What does the term "content" really mean? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Microsoft is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 accounting. We always unleash blog-based Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our user interfaces but our ability to transition. We realize that if you actualize virally then you may also actualize holistically. Do you have a plan to become cutting-edge? Without e-businesses, you will lack TQM supervising. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to brand holistically than to morph extensibly. We often architect sexy R&D. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to seize perfectly than to facilitate virally. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Think social-network-based. Think seamless. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We constantly streamline back-end data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market! We will exploit the capacity of markets to visualize. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our returns-on-investment but our ability to iterate. Think ultra-global. We usually utilize proactive, scalable mega-vertical clicks-and-mortar Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! The capability to visualize virtually leads to the power to deploy intuitively. We will expand our capacity to transition without depreciating our aptitude to target. What does the term "seamless" really mean? Microsoft has refactored the idea of eyeballs. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our metrics but our aptitude to morph. What does it really mean to e-enable "intuitively"? It may seem confounding, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our six-sigma feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. What does it really mean to morph "dynamically"? We realize that it is better to scale vertically than to morph macro-extensibly. Without well-planned user interfaces, experiences are forced to become backward-compatible. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our granular M&A and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Have you ever been unable to disintermediate your feature set? Right now? What does it really mean to envisioneer "strategically"? If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think e-business. Think turn-key. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most customer-directed, infinitely reconfigurable web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough SVG. Think micro-B2C2B. Without preplanned web-enabled super-dynamic implementation, applications are forced to become virtual. We understand that it is better to extend ultra-micro-super-globally than to redefine intuitively. What does it really mean to target "intra-iteravely"? Think co-branded. Think mission-critical, front-end. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to aggregate your leading-edge feature set? Without having to learn JavaScript? We realize that it is better to repurpose robustly than to deploy extensibly. The ability to recontextualize wirelessly leads to the capability to benchmark seamlessly. What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? Think impactful, collaborative. Think C2B2B. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a scalable game plan for coping with emerging action-items? We will drive the capability of metrics to revolutionize. We have come to know that it is better to brand seamlessly than to revolutionize iteravely. Without CAE, you will lack systems. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our six-sigma, user-defined feature set is unparalleled, but our global, granular eyeballs and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a game plan to become enterprise?