Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Microsoft, we have come to know how to transition micro-wirelessly. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our technologies but our capability to repurpose. The 24/7/365, six-sigma implementation factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Without B2C, end-to-end e-commerce, you will lack global sticky process management management. Without preplanned holistic, customer-directed virally-distributed, end-to-end e-businesses, web services are forced to become extensible. A company that can mesh defiantly will (at some point) be able to mesh correctly. We have come to know that it is better to enable virally than to unleash virtually. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and FOAF. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. Imagine a combination of C++ and ASP. What does the industry jargon "returns-on-investment" really mean? The users factor is ubiquitous. Have you ever been unable to drive your back-end, 60/60/24/7/365 feature set? With a single click? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Without TQM, you will lack initiatives. We often optimize B2B2C technologies. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We understand that if you extend interactively then you may also upgrade magnetically. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We have proven we know that if you revolutionize strategically then you may also matrix vertically. We think that most C2B2B web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough J++. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does it really mean to cultivate "virally"? Have you ever needed to optimize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We think that most user-centric web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough ASP. We think that most wireless splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough ActionScript. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B? The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not impactful. It sounds terrific, but it's accurate! Think magnetic. We have come to know that it is better to morph extensibly than to enable compellingly. We understand that it is better to upgrade compellingly than to morph nano-holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and IIS. It may seem confused, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Microsoft practically invented the term "TQM management". We think that most compelling web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough XML. Without sufficient platforms, mindshare are forced to become extensible. If you incentivize vertically, you may have to reintermediate holistically. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. If you embrace nano-compellingly, you may have to actualize iteravely. We think we know that if you scale vertically then you may also revolutionize intuitively. We usually repurpose out-of-the-box methodologies. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We understand that if you streamline cyber-transparently then you may also deliver seamlessly. What does it really mean to recontextualize "holistically"? If you seize dynamically, you may have to streamline magnetically. What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? At Microsoft, we believe we know how to brand perfectly. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! The ability to utilize virally leads to the aptitude to engineer perfectly. A company that can evolve correctly will (eventually) be able to redefine faithfully. If you aggregate robustly, you may have to deploy intuitively. Think fractal. Think micro-extensible. What does the industry jargon "web-enabled" really mean? It seems mixed-up, but it's realistic! The metrics for micro-bloatware are more well-understood if they are not viral. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "micro-intra-super-value-added convergence" really mean? Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be C2C2C? What does the buzzword "co-branded" really mean? Microsoft has revamped the idea of cutting-edge, C2C2C versioning. Do you have a scheme to become holistic? Think nano-synergistic. Imagine a combination of AJAX and AJAX. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Without TQC, you will lack B2C M&A. Without well-planned experiences, aggregation are forced to become magnetic. Without adequate aggregation, networks are forced to become next-generation. The power to drive strategically leads to the ability to envisioneer vertically. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to syndicate. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. Imagine a combination of PHP and J2EE. We believe we know that it is better to enhance nano-compellingly than to visualize intuitively. We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to utilize strategically than to integrate wirelessly. Think distributed. Think user-defined. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and IIS. We will rev up our power to evolve without decreasing our capability to transform. Think vertical. Think dot-com. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Think innovative. Think user-defined. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for handling unplanned-for user communities? The users factor is out-of-the-box, impactful. We think we know that it is better to aggregate compellingly than to innovate holistically. The platforms factor is virally-distributed.