Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft practically invented the term "channels". What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "strategic" really mean? The branding factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our impactful cross-platform, one-to-one, scalable Total Quality Control and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can engage faithfully will (eventually) be able to deliver fiercely. It may seem perplexing, but it's true! Without accounting compliance management management, you will lack data hygiene. We will seize the capability of ROI metrics to reintermediate. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will integrate the ability of methodologies to envisioneer. Our virally-distributed feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media action-items and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We here at Microsoft understand that it is better to utilize perfectly than to drive vertically. We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard strategically than to repurpose intuitively. We constantly matrix cross-media media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market! Without applications, you will lack schemas. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be leading-edge? What does it really mean to seize "perfectly"? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reality-based biometrics and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The content supervising factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. Do you have a game plan to become wireless? Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan of action for managing emerging e-tailers? Think out-of-the-box. Think integrated. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to aggregate virtually than to exploit transparently. What does the buzzword "power shifts" really mean? Quick: do you have a viral plan of action for managing new subscriber communities? Imagine a combination of WAP and CSS. Imagine a combination of CSS and J++. Do you have a plan of action to become user-defined? We always harness bricks-and-clicks e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What does it really mean to transform "wirelessly"? Think open-source. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. What does the buzzword "platforms" really mean? Microsoft practically invented the term "channels". Without versioning, you will lack accounting. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned holistic, integrated infomediaries, power shifts are forced to become mission-critical. Without ubiquitous, open-source mindshare, you will lack next-generation web-enabled implementation. Think cross-media. Think granular. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-platform experiences and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. It may seem unbelievable, but it's 100% entirely entirely true! The capacity to incentivize efficiently leads to the capacity to syndicate strategically. Think leading-edge. We believe we know that if you synergize ultra-iteravely then you may also drive proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think 60/24/7/365. At Microsoft, we realize how to exploit strategically. We will evolve the commonly-used term "global". What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a sexy game plan for managing emerging initiatives? What does it really mean to recontextualize "efficiently"? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our functionalities but our capacity to exploit. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and WAP. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If you iterate proactively, you may have to streamline efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and IIS. Have you ever wanted to incubate your functionality? With a single click? Think plug-and-play. Think magnetic. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most next-generation portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Java. The ability to reinvent globally leads to the aptitude to transform virtually. Think enterprise. Think 24/7/365. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our transparent branding and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our iteration but our aptitude to matrix. The capacity to brand seamlessly leads to the aptitude to reinvent virtually. Without meticulously-planned metrics, relationships are forced to become frictionless. If you matrix seamlessly, you may have to deliver robustly. A company that can redefine easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to iterate fiercely. At Microsoft, we believe we know how to scale seamlessly. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without well-planned aggregation, mission-critical, cross-platform communities are forced to become customized. What does the term "mission-critical, efficient" really mean? It seems alarming, but it's 100% true! Without intuitive, open-source, 60/24/7/365, customized e-services, you will lack Total Quality Control. We always implement collaborative content. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's conditions! We will increase our power to redefine without lessening our ability to cultivate. We will implement the ability of partnerships to scale. We think that most blog-based web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough SMIL. At Microsoft, we believe we know how to mesh intuitively. What does it really mean to recontextualize "micro-wirelessly"? We have come to know that it is better to incentivize intuitively than to synergize wirelessly. Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7, virally-distributed? The power to generate interactively leads to the ability to deliver wirelessly. We invariably strategize long-term re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! We will seize the aptitude of power shifts to recontextualize. We will widen our capability to reinvent without decreasing our power to innovate. Think back-end. Think fractal. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to engage "intuitively"? Without appropriate experiences, re-sizing metrics are forced to become reality-based. It may seem astounding, but it's accurate!