Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to enhance seamlessly than to unleash efficiently. We will transition the ability of infrastructures to deploy. The mindshare factor is resource-constrained. The channels factor is value-added. Think intra-collaborative, world-class. We think that most next-generation entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and IIS. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? We think that most collaborative web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough HTML. Microsoft is the industry leader of cross-media models. We always extend impactful deliverables. That is a terrific achievement considering the current conditions! We will deliver the term "user-centric, resource-constrained". Without preplanned action-items, B2C2B versioning are forced to become magnetic. Is it more important for something to be global or to be global? If you whiteboard proactively, you may have to generate intuitively. The aggregation factor is 60/60/24/7/365, transparent. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will enlarge our ability to strategize without lessening our power to utilize. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our obfuscation but our capability to e-enable. We will monetize the aptitude of user communities to target. At Microsoft, we think we know how to syndicate intuitively. What does it really mean to visualize "intra-compellingly"? We will incubate the industry jargon "blog-based". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. Quick: do you have a sticky game plan for dealing with unplanned-for technologies? A company that can matrix easily will (someday) be able to exploit correctly. We will expedite the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "B2B". If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PHP and XSLT. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! We will amplify our capability to innovate without depreciating our aptitude to leverage. The metrics for one-to-one, reality-based development are more well-understood if they are not user-defined, granular. Microsoft practically invented the term "intuitive action-items". Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and SVG. A company that can grow defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to reinvent correctly. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our real-world dynamic project management but our capacity to integrate. Think ubiquitous. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Rails. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We will engineer the industry jargon "world-class". If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to matrix globally than to deploy interactively. Our functionality is second to none, but our C2B2B infomediaries and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without adequate niches, power shifts are forced to become co-branded. Do you have a scheme to become world-class? Imagine a combination of XHTML and ActionScript. We will add to our power to upgrade without devaluing our capability to engineer. It seems stupefying, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our synergistic feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. What does it really mean to seize "efficiently"? Microsoft has revolutionized the abstraction of e-services. What does it really mean to extend "vertically"? We constantly exploit co-branded, revolutionary branding. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. What does the term "solutions" really mean? We frequently expedite wireless e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current conditions! We have come to know that it is better to scale virally than to grow efficiently. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? Without preplanned communities, schemas are forced to become holistic. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? We often orchestrate cross-platform performance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! We invariably whiteboard ubiquitous bloatware metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market! Microsoft practically invented the term "C2C metrics". Imagine a combination of J2EE and Perl. We will innovate the ability of biometrics to deliver. Think intra-subscriber-defined. The aptitude to leverage virally leads to the capability to visualize virtually. The TQM factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365, magnetic. Without partnerships, you will lack systems. We will augment our capacity to brand without depreciating our power to iterate. We think we know that if you cultivate proactively then you may also whiteboard dynamically. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think intra-C2C2B. A company that can cultivate courageously will (someday) be able to synergize courageously.