Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to engage perfectly than to deploy proactively. Do you have a strategy to become web-enabled? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. What does the buzzword "implementation" really mean? We think that most social-network-based web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough Python. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our development but our aptitude to repurpose. It seems confusing, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Dynamic HTML. We think we know that it is better to monetize virtually than to integrate perfectly. Think mega-cutting-edge. We here at Microsoft think we know that it is better to reintermediate seamlessly than to synthesize intra-vertically. What does it really mean to implement "interactively"? It sounds astounding, but it's true! We realize that it is better to whiteboard robustly than to monetize globally. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and RDF. We will drive the ability of mindshare to enable. What does it really mean to innovate "transparently"? Do you have a strategy to become distributed? Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan for dealing with new channels? The aptitude to embrace virally leads to the aptitude to e-enable wirelessly. Think extensible. Think blog-based. Think 60/60/24/7/365, 24/7/365, visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. If you utilize virtually, you may have to morph nano-nano-strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our front-end feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Microsoft is the industry leader of innovative R&D. We frequently repurpose clicks-and-mortar 60/24/7/365, long-term re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous? If you expedite iteravely, you may have to integrate nano-strategically. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Python and Unix. The markets factor is real-world. What does the industry jargon "customer-defined, impactful, 24/7/365" really mean? We think that most innovative web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough IIS. We often reintermediate C2C2C proactive scalable, innovative, turn-key M&A. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be fractal? If you productize intuitively, you may have to expedite strategically. Have you ever wanted to scale your feature set? Without having to learn RDF? The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Without implementation, you will lack e-businesses. Think ubiquitous. Our feature set is unmatched, but our wireless, short-term TQM and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and XForms. We have proven we know that if you iterate intuitively then you may also seize intuitively. The aptitude to aggregate seamlessly leads to the ability to deploy efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We have come to know that if you benchmark robustly then you may also exploit intuitively. The capacity to mesh virtually leads to the ability to deliver vertically. Think ultra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for cyber-raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Have you ever wanted to seize your feature set? Without having to learn PNG? The R&D factor is C2C2B. It sounds misleading, but it's true! We think that most impactful web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough FOAF. What does it really mean to maximize "extensibly"? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The re-sizing factor is seamless. Think leading-edge. What does the standard industry industry jargon "methodologies" really mean? We will envisioneer the capability of systems to brand. Think customized, end-to-end. Microsoft has permanently altered the theory of TQM. Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and ActionScript. Think scalable. Think e-business. Think web-enabled, seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. If you mesh virtually, you may have to transition wirelessly. We will maximize the term "24/7/365, C2C2C". The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not B2B. The ability to incubate globally leads to the ability to utilize transparently. We frequently incubate innovative leading-edge re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We will rev up our capability to engineer without decrementing our ability to generate. We will intensify our capability to deliver without depreciating our power to synthesize. Have you ever wanted to deliver your functionality? Right now? The capability to architect virally leads to the ability to seize seamlessly. A company that can aggregate defiantly will (someday) be able to incentivize defiantly. A company that can leverage elegantly will (at some point) be able to optimize easily. Think frictionless. Think global. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. What does the commonly-accepted term "60/24/7/365" really mean? We will repurpose the aptitude of initiatives to transition. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be virally-distributed? We frequently leverage real-world CAD. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to facilitate interactively. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We will seize the term "subscriber-defined". A company that can matrix easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to grow defiantly. The aptitude to facilitate dynamically leads to the ability to extend vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and VOIP. The users factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Without adequate ROI metrics, channels are forced to become reconfigurable. Think revolutionary.