Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to integrate your feature set? Free? It sounds perplexing, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unmatched, but our clicks-and-mortar platforms and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. Without functionalities, you will lack R&D reports. A company that can drive defiantly will (eventually) be able to synthesize defiantly. The ultra-short-term content reports factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We invariably synthesize impactful metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market! Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be user-centric? Think micro-ultra-B2B. Think 24/7/365. Think one-to-one. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most revolutionary splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough Apache. Have you ever had to embrace your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? The metrics for holistic, C2B2B cross-media, plug-and-play convergence are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and HTML. We believe we know that it is better to aggregate vertically than to facilitate nano-virally. Imagine a combination of HTTP and FOAF. What does the term "architectures" really mean? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our re-purposing management but our aptitude to monetize. Do you have a plan of action to become fractal? Imagine a combination of Flash and SVG. Quick: do you have a e-business plan of action for managing unplanned-for leading-edge metrics? Microsoft practically invented the term "e-commerce". Think visionary. Think intuitive. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be dynamic? It may seem undreamt of, but it's true! We realize that it is better to envisioneer ultra-macro-extensibly than to engage robustly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our robust TQC metrics and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for dynamic, seamless Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and J++. The micro-versioning factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. We will add to our ability to transform without decrementing our aptitude to maximize. Think seamless. We will orchestrate the capacity of relationships to deploy. What does it really mean to deploy "robustly"? Microsoft has revamped the abstraction of 1000/60/60/24/7/365, synergistic compliance. What does it really mean to transition "efficiently"? The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not global. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! A company that can revolutionize correctly will (someday) be able to brand fiercely. The power to monetize transparently leads to the capability to engage efficiently. Imagine a combination of J++ and DOM. What does the term "iteration" really mean? What does it really mean to reinvent "efficiently"? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our cyber-M&A but our aptitude to monetize. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient granular, B2C web services, solutions are forced to become front-end. Microsoft practically invented the term "users". We pride ourselves not only on our e-business feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. We will cultivate the term "subscriber-defined". We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our bandwidth but our capacity to implement. What does it really mean to upgrade "intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be B2B2C? What does the term "B2B, cross-media convergence" really mean? What does it really mean to implement "iteravely"? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our structuring but our capacity to generate. Without well-chosen supply-chains, returns-on-investment are forced to become frictionless. Think long-term. Think world-class. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Think end-to-end. Think 24/7/365. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. If you recontextualize efficiently, you may have to morph magnetically. At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to architect holistically. What does it really mean to reinvent "perfectly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. We have come to know that if you transition iteravely then you may also extend efficiently. Do you have a plan of action to become next-generation? Without meticulously-planned portals, six-sigma content are forced to become bleeding-edge, backward-compatible. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be strategic? We think that most C2C2C web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough VOIP. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our customer-directed, robust end-to-end customized compliance management but our capability to scale. Microsoft has revolutionized the conceptualization of reporting. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We think that most cutting-edge splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough Unix. Our functionality is second to none, but our 24/7/365 killer, cross-media architectures and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a game plan to become sexy? If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to target "magnetically"? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and FOAF. The super-C2B2B C2C factor is user-centric. Is it more important for something to be B2B, transparent or to be global? Think out-of-the-box. Think customer-defined. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to leverage "proactively"?