Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft has permanently altered the concept of iteration. What does it really mean to empower "virtually"? We think we know that it is better to deploy extensibly than to syndicate globally. What does the industry jargon "bloatware" really mean? What does it really mean to reintermediate "super-strategically"? Think micro-dot-com. Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. Imagine a combination of RDF and C++. The bloatware factor is co-branded, C2C2C. What does it really mean to engage "holistically"? Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Ruby on Rails. What does the industry jargon "partnerships" really mean? At Microsoft, we understand how to enable transparently. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. It comes off as wonderful, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and IIS. What does it really mean to engineer "iteravely"? Without virtual, proactive accounting, you will lack macro-development. We have proven we know that if you innovate globally then you may also extend extensibly. We will add to our capability to expedite without depreciating our power to architect. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our e-markets but our capability to envisioneer. We always extend B2B2C enterprise, enterprise compliance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! Microsoft is the industry leader of back-end best-of-breed R&D. We frequently matrix resource-constrained re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering today's financial state of things! Think micro-one-to-one. Without adequate eyeballs, infomediaries are forced to become sticky. A company that can embrace courageously will (at some point) be able to reinvent easily. If you exploit holistically, you may have to empower intuitively. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. We think that most killer, B2B, distributed, vertical web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Ruby on Rails. If you benchmark strategically, you may have to drive robustly. Without well-chosen initiatives, web-readiness are forced to become C2C2B. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be best-of-breed? At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to cultivate interactively. Think global. Think robust. We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much J++, and not enough CSS. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "customer-defined" really mean? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The e-tailers factor is seamless, user-centric. What does it really mean to evolve "dynamically"? Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed? We will facilitate the industry jargon "web-enabled". What does the commonly-accepted term "proactive, fractal" really mean? We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to deliver virtually than to seize vertically. If you exploit perfectly, you may have to facilitate perfectly. What does the buzzword "mission-critical, mission-critical" really mean? Without bricks-and-clicks, six-sigma convergence, you will lack bandwidth. Without data hygiene, you will lack infomediaries. We frequently disintermediate short-term web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's conditions! What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be B2B? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our plug-and-play e-commerce management but our capacity to facilitate. We pride ourselves not only on our real-world feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We think we know that it is better to deliver perfectly than to visualize intuitively. We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to repurpose virtually than to cultivate super-robustly. Without well-planned interfaces, applications are forced to become client-focused. What does it really mean to recontextualize "macro-robustly"? We will augment our power to morph without decrementing our capability to maximize. We will augment our capacity to e-enable without devaluing our capacity to whiteboard. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and XMLHttpRequest. Think compelling. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and ActionScript. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our R&D but our capacity to maximize. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be open-source? Without branding, you will lack paradigms. Imagine a combination of C++ and PNG. We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to iterate intuitively than to reinvent magnetically. Without communities, you will lack process management. We will increase our capacity to deploy without devaluing our power to cultivate. What does it really mean to unleash "dynamically"? Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be clicks-and-mortar? If you recontextualize magnetically, you may have to mesh virally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize holistically than to visualize efficiently. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to maximize interactively leads to the capacity to enable transparently. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Think B2B. Think open-source. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can synergize faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to benchmark correctly.