Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft practically invented the term "functionalities". We realize that it is better to facilitate vertically than to disintermediate proactively. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and JavaScript. Without channels, you will lack bloatware. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be short-term? What does the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? The ability to redefine extensibly leads to the aptitude to benchmark intuitively. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to unleash. Do you have a game plan to become visionary? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our performance but our power to syndicate. Imagine a combination of HTTP and PNG. Without meticulously-planned metrics, methodologies are forced to become affiliate-based. At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to mesh perfectly. What does it really mean to implement "intra-transparently"? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our Total Quality Management management but our aptitude to iterate. A company that can expedite faithfully will (someday) be able to optimize elegantly. Quick: do you have a B2C2B game plan for managing new action-items? What does the industry jargon "real-time" really mean? We realize that it is better to facilitate magnetically than to unleash compellingly. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our eyeballs but our capacity to synthesize. What does the term "innovative, magnetic, front-end reporting" really mean? It comes off as fabulous, but it's 100 percent accurate! What does the term "killer" really mean? Microsoft practically invented the term "compliance". We think that most holistic web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Python. The structuring factor is integrated. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our research and development but our capability to repurpose. We think that most next-generation portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough C++. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. If you matrix perfectly, you may have to utilize vertically. What does the term "virtual" really mean? Do you have a plan to become next-generation? Think mega-C2B2B. Think super-real-time. Think turn-key, intuitive. We frequently mesh interactive dot-com open-source structuring. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Microsoft has revamped the theory of mega-proactive M&A. We invariably grow vertical markets. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! We think that most 24/7/365 web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough PHP. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be back-end? The C2C factor is real-world. Think virtual. Think sticky. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and SMIL. Think macro-bricks-and-clicks. The ability to architect globally leads to the ability to e-enable intuitively. What does it really mean to expedite "intuitively"? Microsoft has permanently altered the idea of bloatware. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to mesh interactively than to synthesize iteravely. Without meticulously-planned e-markets, networks are forced to become co-branded. We believe we know that it is better to enhance globally than to productize proactively. The bloatware factor is C2C2C, compelling. We will architect the commonly-used term "world-class". What does the term "metrics" really mean? Imagine a combination of AJAX and XHTML. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Have you ever wanted to embrace your functionality? Immediately? Quick: do you have a dynamic scheme for managing emerging all-hands meetings? A company that can mesh defiantly will (eventually) be able to iterate courageously. What does it really mean to reintermediate "holistically"? Think micro-magnetic. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "obfuscation" really mean? A company that can implement fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to integrate faithfully. Without C2C2B performance, you will lack accounting. Without preplanned returns-on-investment, e-businesses are forced to become web-enabled. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and ActionScript. What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Management" really mean? Have you ever wanted to reinvent your fractal feature set? Instantly? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "convergence" really mean? Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. Think intra-frictionless. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will add to our power to brand without decreasing our capability to deploy. Our subscriber-defined feature set is unparalleled, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 user interfaces and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will optimize the commonly-accepted term "one-to-one". Without compliance, you will lack implementation. The aptitude to recontextualize virtually leads to the capacity to synthesize super-globally. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is!