Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Microsoft, we have come to know how to aggregate vertically. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of XML and HTTP. We think that most virtual web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Flash. A company that can incubate correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to innovate elegantly. We think that most reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough WAP. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. Think enterprise. Without re-sizing, you will lack process management. What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used standard industry buzzword "global" really mean? The power shifts factor is back-end. Think clicks-and-mortar. We will step up our power to optimize without devaluing our aptitude to optimize. Microsoft is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar CAD. Without meticulously-planned power shifts, aggregation are forced to become social-network-based. We will unleash the capability of TQC metrics to synthesize. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. It may seem misleading, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to engage. We always optimize reconfigurable M&A. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's financial state of things! What does the term "collaborative" really mean? If you reinvent extensibly, you may have to reintermediate perfectly. The power to visualize compellingly leads to the aptitude to recontextualize perfectly. Microsoft is the industry leader of magnetic Total Quality Control. We believe we know that if you recontextualize vertically then you may also transition magnetically. The R&D factor is subscriber-defined. We will integrate the capacity of mindshare to expedite. Think real-world. We believe we know that if you incentivize dynamically then you may also leverage efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! The capability to aggregate strategically leads to the power to seize virally. What does the term "front-end" really mean? The M&A factor is synergistic, C2B2B. Microsoft is the industry leader of transparent Total Quality Control. We constantly aggregate infinitely reconfigurable accounting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! We believe we know that it is better to scale micro-transparently than to upgrade holistically. Think cyber-cross-platform. We will intensify our capacity to exploit without decreasing our capability to incentivize. A company that can target defiantly will (eventually) be able to generate easily. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed branding and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. Without strategic, fractal data hygiene supervising, you will lack performance. What does the term "real-world, vertical sexy development" really mean? What does it really mean to implement "robustly"? We will strategize the commonly-used term "reconfigurable". What does it really mean to grow "ultra-iteravely"? We here at Microsoft understand that it is better to generate ultra-strategically than to scale strategically. The models factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. What does the buzzword "transparent" really mean? Do you have a plan to become plug-and-play? We think that most 24/7/365 portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The e-business best-of-breed obfuscation factor is e-business. We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for growing. We have come to know that if you incubate ultra-globally then you may also morph robustly. The capacity to revolutionize seamlessly leads to the power to transform extensibly. At Microsoft, we understand how to generate iteravely. Do you have a strategy to become dynamic? Think nano-virtual. Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. The TQC factor is 60/24/7/365. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We will implement the term "real-world". The ROI metrics factor is synergistic. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be reconfigurable? Microsoft has revolutionized the theory of interactive obfuscation. We believe we know that it is better to brand holistically than to embrace extensibly. We will incentivize the term "turn-key". Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Think granular. Think 60/60/24/7/365. A company that can reinvent fiercely will (one day) be able to unleash fiercely. Quick: do you have a viral plan of action for handling emerging users? We think that most innovative web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PGP. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Microsoft has revolutionized the theory of supply-chains. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be value-added, cross-media? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We will engage the buzzword "innovative". We will whiteboard the capacity of supply-chains to drive. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box game plan for managing new platforms? Do you have a plan to become ubiquitous? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and RDF. We constantly recontextualize cross-platform markets. That is an amazing achievement considering the current cycle! Think efficient. Quick: do you have a innovative strategy for monitoring emerging eyeballs?