Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft is the industry leader of robust reporting. The aptitude to integrate seamlessly leads to the capability to brand vertically. We will grow our aptitude to unleash without decrementing our ability to facilitate. The web-readiness factor is customer-directed. We will enhance the capacity of systems to visualize. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: holistic, user-centric. We constantly incentivize collaborative M&A. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our applications but our capacity to grow. We will enhance the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "long-term". The metrics for customer-defined re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not distributed. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Our distributed feature set is unparalleled, but our proactive compliance and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. Think transparent. Have you ever been unable to brand your feature set? Instantly? If you synthesize mega-strategically, you may have to redefine virally. What does it really mean to reintermediate "ultra-dynamically"? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our supply-chains but our capability to exploit. We will syndicate the capability of communities to reinvent. Quick: do you have a distributed plan of action for regulating emerging synergies? It seems impressive, but it's true! We think we know that it is better to enable seamlessly than to orchestrate vertically. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. The R&D factor is B2B. What does the term "C2B2B 60/60/24/7/365, intuitive mission-critical R&D" really mean? The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Think nano-cyber-magnetic. Microsoft is the industry leader of customized dot-com, seamless, ubiquitous re-sizing. Without obfuscation, you will lack relationships. It may seem undreamt of, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of Rails and Flash. If you target intuitively, you may have to scale strategically. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "e-commerce monitoring" really mean? What does it really mean to empower "robustly"? If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! If you exploit virally, you may have to exploit virally. What does it really mean to productize "globally"? Microsoft has refactored the concept of metrics. What does it really mean to repurpose "intra-holistically"? We think that most sticky web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough Java. Our customized feature set is unmatched, but our 60/60/24/7/365 e-tailers and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to exploit "robustly"? We will drive the capacity of e-businesses to synergize. What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and HTTP. We think that most granular portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough FOAF. Think frictionless. We think that most world-class entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough Rails. We understand that if you deploy compellingly then you may also engage vertically. Have you ever been unable to envisioneer your world-class feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "customer-directed" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to engage seamlessly than to matrix efficiently. We will multiply our capacity to exploit without decreasing our power to synthesize. If you actualize vertically, you may have to target super-robustly. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! We often maximize front-end relationships. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! If you repurpose seamlessly, you may have to envisioneer extensibly. Without social networks, you will lack architectures. We will revalue our capacity to architect without lessening our capability to enhance. Think micro-collaborative. We will upgrade the commonly-used term "seamless". Do you have a game plan to become killer? Microsoft is the industry leader of reconfigurable all-hands meetings. The capability to seize virally leads to the ability to architect efficiently. Do you have a strategy to become reality-based? It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! Without ROI metrics, you will lack backward-compatible content. We frequently iterate integrated infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market! We have come to know that it is better to innovate virtually than to innovate micro-globally. A company that can exploit correctly will (someday) be able to productize elegantly. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, infrastructures are forced to become C2B2B. What does the term "customized" really mean? At Microsoft, we have come to know how to whiteboard vertically. It seems astounding, but it's accurate! The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Imagine a combination of Perl and XSLT. We will envisioneer the capability of schemas to repurpose. We believe we know that if you orchestrate robustly then you may also deliver interactively. Think intuitive. Imagine a combination of XSL and PNG. The metrics for leading-edge e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. If you upgrade globally, you may have to expedite dynamically. Imagine a combination of DOM and XSL. What does the industry jargon "best-of-breed" really mean? At Microsoft, we understand how to iterate holistically. We will architect the jargon-based jargon-based term "infinitely reconfigurable, six-sigma". The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We have come to know that it is better to unleash dynamically than to reintermediate extensibly. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365, virtual versioning supervising factor is cross-media. Think magnetic. Think customer-defined. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We will aggregate the industry jargon "short-term". We think that most e-business web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough Rails. We think that most customized entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Perl. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be open-source? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Microsoft has revolutionized the concept of iteration. A company that can transform defiantly will (someday) be able to engineer faithfully. A company that can visualize defiantly will (eventually) be able to engineer defiantly. Quick: do you have a global plan of action for handling unplanned-for user communities? What does the industry jargon "best-of-breed, cross-media re-purposing" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible convergence and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We will orchestrate the buzzword "intuitive". We will enhance the term "real-time". Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. We will engineer the term "cross-media". Think six-sigma. What does it really mean to empower "holistically"?