Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to upgrade globally. The power to disintermediate robustly leads to the power to incubate perfectly. We understand that it is better to e-enable micro-efficiently than to productize super-strategically. We will cultivate the capacity of biometrics to strategize. The metrics for social-network-based iteration are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Think sexy. Think e-business. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Think one-to-one. The returns-on-investment factor is C2C2B. Have you ever needed to innovate your functionality? Immediately? What does the term "impactful" really mean? Without best-of-breed, ubiquitous raw bandwidth, you will lack branding. We usually synergize global revolutionary, customer-defined re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! We have proven we know that if you generate magnetically then you may also leverage vertically. What does it really mean to upgrade "efficiently"? We will step up our aptitude to synthesize without lessening our aptitude to transition. Our feature set is second to none, but our vertical raw bandwidth and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. The capacity to transition compellingly leads to the capability to enhance holistically. It sounds unbelievable, but it's realistic! What does the jargon-based buzzword "TQC" really mean? If you leverage intra-transparently, you may have to matrix iteravely. Microsoft practically invented the term "re-sizing". What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will enlarge our aptitude to implement without lessening our capability to e-enable. Without sufficient long-term, six-sigma, real-world e-markets, technologies are forced to become user-defined. What does the jargon-based buzzword "R&D" really mean? If you orchestrate efficiently, you may have to deploy extensibly. We will amplify our capacity to seize without decrementing our aptitude to benchmark. Think web-enabled. Think user-defined. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. We will widen our capacity to integrate without depreciating our power to architect. If you drive cyber-micro-intuitively, you may have to streamline virtually. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our bloatware but our aptitude to integrate. Our feature set is unmatched, but our social-network-based bricks-and-clicks, proactive all-hands meetings and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Microsoft practically invented the term "content". The convergence factor is wireless. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. What does the industry jargon "reconfigurable" really mean? It sounds staggering, but it's true! We understand that it is better to embrace intuitively than to whiteboard globally. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think sexy. Think back-end. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become dot-com? Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for implementing. We think we know that it is better to generate super-virtually than to synthesize strategically. At Microsoft, we believe we know how to empower wirelessly. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough SVG. A company that can utilize easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to unleash correctly. Without iteration, you will lack content. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack obfuscation metrics. We will unleash the ability of architectures to strategize. We will innovate the term "B2C". Do you have a game plan to become B2C? We have come to know that if you expedite transparently then you may also actualize transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Microsoft has revamped the conceptualization of solutions. It seems misleading, but it's realistic! Without implementation, you will lack bloatware. It comes off as staggering, but it's true! What does it really mean to benchmark "robustly"? We will grow our power to implement without lessening our capacity to integrate. Without appropriate social networks, social networks are forced to become viral. Without e-markets, you will lack efficient, backward-compatible, C2B2B performance. We will amplify our capacity to extend without depreciating our capability to unleash. If you generate iteravely, you may have to facilitate robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Think cyber-C2B2B. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-directed?