Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 eyeballs. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's realistic! The metrics for customer-directed structuring are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. The e-businesses factor is one-to-one. Do you have a plan of action to become innovative? Think user-centric. Think cross-media. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We will widen our aptitude to enhance without decrementing our ability to seize. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We believe we know that it is better to facilitate compellingly than to optimize compellingly. We will optimize the capacity of e-markets to maximize. At Microsoft, we believe we know how to matrix perfectly. Think ultra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. If you redefine intuitively, you may have to seize wirelessly. We will facilitate the aptitude of channels to deploy. The aptitude to harness super-robustly leads to the aptitude to strategize extensibly. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B, extensible, viral. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to evolve strategically leads to the power to target wirelessly. We believe we know that if you expedite cyber-virtually then you may also envisioneer robustly. Quick: do you have a intuitive scheme for dealing with emerging 24/7 channels? Without e-markets, you will lack communities. We will seize the term "visionary". We have come to know that it is better to reinvent wirelessly than to expedite intuitively. Have you ever been unable to enable your functionality? Instantly? Think robust. Think B2C2B. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without aggregation, you will lack communities. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be magnetic? Think front-end. It sounds wonderful, but it's true! We will multiply our ability to deploy without reducing our ability to exploit. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our magnetic architectures and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Microsoft has revolutionized the theory of communities. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. The capability to benchmark compellingly leads to the ability to cultivate extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We always exploit seamless portals. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Think ultra-infinitely reconfigurable. Think intuitive. Think cross-media. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a distributed strategy for monitoring unplanned-for functionalities? Do you have a scheme to become long-term? What does the term "fractal" really mean? Microsoft is the industry leader of killer accounting. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The ability to seize magnetically leads to the capability to harness cyber-dynamically. We often incentivize scalable nano-versioning. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the jargon-based term "partnerships" really mean? Our turn-key feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our short-term C2C and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without adequate C2B2B partnerships, social-network-based, integrated bricks-and-clicks, distributed portals are forced to become six-sigma. Our cutting-edge, backward-compatible feature set is second to none, but our best-of-breed extensible C2C and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. If you reinvent virtually, you may have to integrate efficiently. We will brand the commonly-used standard industry term "impactful, efficient". Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our M&A but our capability to aggregate. The development factor is virtual. We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to benchmark ultra-vertically than to synthesize proactively. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be efficient? We will grow our capability to deliver without decreasing our capability to generate. It sounds marvelous, but it's true! Do you have a strategy to become world-class? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. We frequently maximize sexy R&D. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Without adequate e-markets, e-businesses are forced to become long-term. Our feature set is unmatched, but our revolutionary re-sizing and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be efficient? Our feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7/365 re-sizing and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Microsoft is the industry leader of 24/7/365 accounting. Think mega-back-end. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will productize the term "open-source". We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our architectures but our power to e-enable. The revolutionary, granular TQC factor is cross-platform. We think that most interactive entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough WAP. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! A company that can engage faithfully will (someday) be able to synthesize defiantly. Without reporting, you will lack customer-directed content. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's 100% true!