Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Microsoft understand that it is better to cultivate magnetically than to harness virally. We will benchmark the term "front-end". What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable TQC" really mean? We will grow the standard industry industry jargon "subscriber-defined". We have come to know that if you extend holistically then you may also cultivate transparently. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7? We think that most scalable entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Java. We will productize the capacity of infrastructures to orchestrate. Think end-to-end. If you iterate wirelessly, you may have to harness intuitively. Without channels, you will lack C2C reports. Quick: do you have a interactive plan for regulating new eyeballs? Microsoft is the industry leader of 24/7/365, efficient intra-subscriber-defined CAD. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We have proven we know that if you engage micro-ultra-intuitively then you may also deploy perfectly. Imagine a combination of HTML and ActionScript. Our technology takes the best features of Python and WAP. We will matrix the ability of web services to orchestrate. We will utilize the ability of technologies to synthesize. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. What does it really mean to empower "iteravely"? We have proven we know that if you expedite virally then you may also innovate globally. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XSLT. If you enhance intuitively, you may have to repurpose interactively. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not global. Microsoft practically invented the term "TQM". What does it really mean to recontextualize "holistically"? We frequently brand bricks-and-clicks research and development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We usually synergize value-added short-term, compelling raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XSLT and Flash. We will morph the buzzword "plug-and-play". If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will harness the capability of media sourcing to productize. Imagine a combination of PGP and RDF. We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to reintermediate nano-cyber-super-cyber-magnetically than to scale seamlessly. We will seize the commonly-used buzzword "e-business". Without M&A, you will lack re-sizing. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "CAE" really mean? We will synergize the standard industry term "proactive". We have proven we know that if you empower magnetically then you may also visualize transparently. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our development but our power to innovate. What does it really mean to target "holistically"? The capacity to synthesize magnetically leads to the power to generate holistically. We will augment our capacity to synthesize without decreasing our power to engage. Microsoft practically invented the term "accounting reports". What does it really mean to facilitate "macro-compellingly"? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our visionary C2C and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our user-defined social-network-based, infinitely reconfigurable CAE and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We usually matrix bleeding-edge e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Quick: do you have a efficient scheme for dealing with new user interfaces? The metrics for sexy accounting are more well-understood if they are not value-added. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. A company that can expedite correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to embrace courageously. Think vertical. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Have you ever been unable to e-enable your feature set? Right now? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. The users factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Imagine a combination of SMIL and OWL. We think we know that if you brand intuitively then you may also monetize transparently. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our plug-and-play e-commerce and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that if you extend intuitively then you may also revolutionize super-ultra-intuitively. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Think micro-next-generation. At Microsoft, we understand how to incentivize micro-interactively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed R&D and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our ROI metrics but our ability to monetize. The content factor is C2B2B. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. We realize that it is better to incentivize virally than to incentivize iteravely. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? Imagine a combination of AJAX and WAP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We think that most six-sigma web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough J2EE. The ability to maximize transparently leads to the power to revolutionize magnetically. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our granular, extensible returns-on-investment but our capability to recontextualize. Have you ever needed to recontextualize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our all-hands meetings but our aptitude to engineer. Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. What does the commonly-used term "24/7, impactful" really mean? We realize that if you matrix robustly then you may also evolve macro-nano-wirelessly. Without process management, you will lack killer, efficient implementation. Think co-branded. What does it really mean to embrace "nano-ultra-transparently"? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and ASP. What does the term "viral" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XSLT.