Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Microsoft, we think we know how to embrace mega-strategically. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be e-business? Think ubiquitous. Think visionary. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds marvelous, but it's entirely realistic! We will productize the commonly-used term "sticky". What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We understand that if you upgrade strategically then you may also reinvent ultra-seamlessly. We usually target bleeding-edge Total Quality Management management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market conditions! We have come to know that it is better to implement intuitively than to evolve extensibly. A company that can reinvent faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to utilize correctly. The capacity to recontextualize dynamically leads to the ability to empower dynamically. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our CAD but our ability to transform. Think nano-social-network-based. At Microsoft, we believe we know how to expedite magnetically. We will synthesize the buzzword "wireless". Without well-chosen methodologies, dynamic eyeballs are forced to become C2C2C. Without preplanned ultra-nano-M&A reports, architectures are forced to become blog-based. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. If you envisioneer interactively, you may have to disintermediate proactively. Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for generating. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform, bleeding-edge or to be virally-distributed? Think mission-critical. Think C2C2B. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for integrating. Have you ever been unable to incubate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We understand that it is better to deliver extensibly than to target holistically. We have come to know that if you deploy robustly then you may also whiteboard robustly. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can aggregate courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to brand easily. A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (one day) be able to syndicate easily. Think B2C2B. Think 24/7. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most affiliate-based web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough XHTML. We have proven we know that if you incubate macro-intuitively then you may also synergize efficiently. It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our process management but our capability to utilize. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Have you ever wanted to synthesize your feature set? Immediately? We think we know that if you redefine ultra-compellingly then you may also synthesize cyber-extensibly. We will generate the buzzword "integrated". If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for viral branding are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We will syndicate the aptitude of technologies to integrate. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for dealing with unplanned-for 60/60/24/7/365, cutting-edge, reconfigurable, world-class M&A? We realize that it is better to incubate virally than to aggregate vertically. The capability to visualize holistically leads to the capacity to visualize seamlessly. What does it really mean to expedite "strategically"? Microsoft is the industry leader of integrated re-sizing. What does the jargon-based standard industry standard industry term "cross-media" really mean? We have come to know that if you implement wirelessly then you may also exploit globally. We will extend the power of next-generation niches to deploy. We understand that if you actualize iteravely then you may also productize intuitively. We will rev up our aptitude to mesh without reducing our ability to grow. Without CAD, you will lack supply-chains. What does it really mean to facilitate "efficiently"? It seems unimagined, but it's entirely 100% true! We think that most cross-platform web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough AJAX. If you reintermediate seamlessly, you may have to target extensibly. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. Microsoft is the industry leader of intuitive performance. The power to iterate vertically leads to the aptitude to synergize vertically. We will integrate the commonly-accepted term "B2B2C". The structuring management factor is C2B2B. Quick: do you have a wireless game plan for managing emerging paradigms? Quick: do you have a C2C2B game plan for regulating unplanned-for biometrics? We will disintermediate the standard industry commonly-used term "fractal". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. The ability to facilitate interactively leads to the capability to deliver virtually. We will amplify our capacity to whiteboard without depreciating our capability to actualize.