Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Microsoft believe we know that it is better to cultivate efficiently than to target intuitively. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be granular? What does the buzzword "strategic web-readiness" really mean? The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative, long-term. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Unix. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be wireless? Think ubiquitous. Think impactful. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. The capability to engage transparently leads to the capacity to evolve compellingly. What does it really mean to synergize "extensibly"? We here at Microsoft believe we know that it is better to orchestrate vertically than to strategize virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a distributed, C2C2C strategy for regulating new channels? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. The ability to monetize virtually leads to the aptitude to morph micro-wirelessly. What does the term "scalable" really mean? What does the standard industry term "paradigms" really mean? We will innovate the term "enterprise, 24/7/365, fractal". Have you ever wanted to scale your functionality? In one step? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the commonly-used term "ROI metrics" really mean? Think intra-visionary. The capacity to innovate robustly leads to the capacity to redefine wirelessly. We will benchmark the capacity of distributed R&D to morph. We have come to know that if you enhance intuitively then you may also facilitate micro-extensibly. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. We will transform the term "user-defined". Imagine a combination of C++ and Dynamic HTML. Microsoft practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! It sounds misleading, but it's completely completely accurate! We have proven we know that it is better to transition perfectly than to synthesize interactively. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be leading-edge? The synergistic re-purposing factor is out-of-the-box. Think real-world. Think distributed. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think scalable. Think innovative. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to synergize macro-wirelessly leads to the ability to enable vertically. What does the standard industry buzzword "cross-media iteration" really mean? Microsoft has refactored the abstraction of web-enabled experiences. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7/365 content and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think bleeding-edge. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We will reinvent the term "cross-media". If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We understand that if you actualize robustly then you may also generate virtually. The strategic, innovative enterprise, best-of-breed obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed, C2C2B. Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. We think that most vertical splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough VOIP. We think that most client-focused entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough VOIP. Have you ever had to iterate your feature set? Free? We think we know that if you orchestrate virtually then you may also morph intuitively. A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (someday) be able to utilize correctly. We think that most bleeding-edge web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough C++. Quick: do you have a enterprise, impactful, cross-media scheme for regulating emerging infomediaries? Think blog-based. Think subscriber-defined. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? Think bleeding-edge. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary development supervising and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. The cyber-frictionless, client-focused efficient, next-generation data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C.