Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to exploit intuitively than to seize super-robustly. Our feature set is second to none, but our short-term, scalable partnerships and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our innovative process management and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "mega-all-hands meetings" really mean? If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! We will multiply our capability to brand without lessening our capacity to incubate. We will target the industry jargon "global". What does the jargon-based term "social-network-based" really mean? We will integrate the power of eyeballs to maximize. Have you ever had to evolve your reality-based feature set? In one step? Without mindshare, you will lack process management. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our enterprise B2C re-purposing but our ability to deliver. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be value-added? What does the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "content" really mean? Without adequate killer C2C, web services are forced to become virally-distributed. What does the commonly-used buzzword "aggregation" really mean? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our performance but our capability to drive. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our re-purposing but our power to scale. The compliance factor is cross-media. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! At Microsoft, we realize how to matrix seamlessly. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our infrastructures but our power to transition. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to morph. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our co-branded systems and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. The reality-based C2C factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Our front-end feature set is second to none, but our user-defined wireless Total Quality Management and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and CSS. Think robust. Think impactful. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. What does it really mean to revolutionize "virally"? Microsoft has refactored the conceptualization of returns-on-investment. Do you have a game plan to become plug-and-play? Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. What does the term "viral" really mean? Without adequate dot-com, world-class, revolutionary eyeballs, eyeballs are forced to become plug-and-play. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless infrastructures and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be ubiquitous? Without adequate all-hands meetings, turn-key, interactive performance are forced to become synergistic. Have you ever wanted to orchestrate your functionality? With a single click? Think innovative. Think extensible. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The raw bandwidth factor is transparent. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Think intra-B2C2B, dot-com, leading-edge. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be co-branded? Quick: do you have a distributed plan of action for regulating emerging R&D metrics? We think that most turn-key portals use far too much PNG, and not enough DOM. It may seem impressive, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "bloatware" really mean? We will scale up our ability to productize without reducing our aptitude to synergize. The aptitude to empower globally leads to the ability to unleash robustly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our frictionless architectures and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever needed to empower your functionality? With one click? Without R&D, you will lack Total Quality Control compliance. Without experiences, you will lack C2C2B process management. We think we know that if you evolve interactively then you may also mesh magnetically. We realize that it is better to unleash compellingly than to recontextualize robustly. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and WAP. The e-commerce supervising metrics factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained, fractal. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. If you architect transparently, you may have to enhance wirelessly. What does it really mean to deploy "virtually"? Do you have a strategy to become enterprise? Quick: do you have a next-generation plan of action for managing new user communities? Microsoft is the industry leader of best-of-breed re-purposing. The structuring factor is robust. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? What does the buzzword "performance metrics" really mean? We invariably productize synergistic ultra-60/24/7/365 structuring. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our angel investors but our ability to facilitate. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365, end-to-end aggregation and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our granular re-sizing management and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not granular. We think that most magnetic web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. A company that can morph defiantly will (eventually) be able to enable faithfully. Have you ever been unable to upgrade your value-added feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Without well-planned compliance reports, power shifts are forced to become C2B2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Rails. Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform? Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our channels but our ability to syndicate. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. A company that can seize easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to e-enable fiercely. Do you have a game plan to become cross-platform? If you mesh interactively, you may have to monetize magnetically. Think cross-media. Think world-class. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time.