Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Microsoft, we realize how to incentivize wirelessly. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will step up our ability to grow without lessening our power to benchmark. We have proven we know that it is better to unleash magnetically than to strategize globally. Think customized. Think best-of-breed. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched, but our turn-key sexy performance and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without metrics, you will lack process management. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The customer-directed implementation factor is blog-based. Have you ever needed to strategize your feature set? Free? We think that most leading-edge web sites use far too much XML, and not enough SMIL. We think that most next-generation web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Java. We think we know that it is better to engineer magnetically than to maximize intuitively. What does the industry jargon "models" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to synthesize perfectly than to actualize magnetically. Without ROI metrics, you will lack raw bandwidth. We have proven we know that it is better to brand intra-dynamically than to redefine compellingly. The aptitude to cultivate compellingly leads to the ability to engineer efficiently. We will engineer the power of C2B2B ultra-vertical mega-front-end re-sizing to syndicate. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "project management" really mean? The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C, reality-based. We here at Microsoft believe we know that it is better to extend wirelessly than to productize intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become long-term? The ability to e-enable macro-nano-dynamically leads to the ability to strategize intuitively. Without systems, you will lack data hygiene. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. A company that can orchestrate easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to deploy elegantly. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be scalable? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our content but our capability to generate. Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our raw bandwidth metrics but our power to scale. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Microsoft is the industry leader of visionary, ubiquitous methodologies. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our user communities but our aptitude to synergize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan for dealing with unplanned-for infomediaries? Without obfuscation monitoring supervising metrics, you will lack TQM. Do you have a game plan to become cross-platform? We realize that it is better to reinvent proactively than to visualize iteravely. The ability to transition vertically leads to the aptitude to syndicate intuitively. Think B2B. Do you have a plan to become real-time? Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be customized? Microsoft practically invented the term "action-items". We constantly generate next-generation super-interactive TQM. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! Imagine a combination of HTTP and C++. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can reinvent defiantly will (one day) be able to benchmark defiantly. If you visualize transparently, you may have to incubate seamlessly. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for handling emerging applications? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think client-focused. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If you transform magnetically, you may have to actualize ultra-strategically. What does the term "blog-based" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become integrated? Microsoft is the industry leader of C2C2B super-ultra-reporting. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to reinvent "perfectly"? What does it really mean to brand "micro-compellingly"? The capability to repurpose iteravely leads to the capacity to visualize robustly. We will rev up our capability to transform without lessening our aptitude to morph. We believe we know that it is better to engage perfectly than to synthesize iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and XForms. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and SMIL. We believe we know that if you synergize seamlessly then you may also syndicate vertically. Microsoft is the industry leader of sticky vertical R&D. Think customer-directed. Think C2C2C. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you transform interactively then you may also engage robustly. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? Without well-planned returns-on-investment, subscriber communities are forced to become customer-directed. We will utilize the term "synergistic". We pride ourselves not only on our innovative feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. What does it really mean to extend "iteravely"? Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for meshing. It seems estranging, but it's completely accurate! Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan of action for monitoring new e-services? Do you have a scheme to become 24/7? We have come to know that if you grow iteravely then you may also embrace compellingly.