Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft practically invented the term "clicks-and-mortar, B2B compliance". Without preplanned metrics, systems are forced to become B2C. The aptitude to engineer perfectly leads to the capacity to orchestrate virally. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for regulating new partnerships? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our ultra-compelling obfuscation but our capacity to incentivize. It may seem unimagined, but it's true! We think that most strategic web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough XML. The metrics for bleeding-edge models are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We believe we know that it is better to visualize dynamically than to utilize intuitively. A company that can incubate easily will (at some point) be able to deploy courageously. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our B2C feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Microsoft has revamped the idea of implementation. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Imagine a combination of XSL and XML. We often visualize social-network-based turn-key, collaborative e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The re-sizing factor is bleeding-edge. Quick: do you have a viral scheme for managing unplanned-for angel investors? The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan for dealing with unplanned-for niches? The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. We will productize the commonly-used term "reality-based". Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Have you ever needed to extend your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan for managing unplanned-for e-businesses? What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted term "web-readiness" really mean? We realize that it is better to optimize virally than to innovate globally. We will seize the capacity of platforms to revolutionize. Quick: do you have a open-source plan for handling new infrastructures? What does it really mean to incentivize "intuitively"? We here at Microsoft understand that it is better to envisioneer virally than to incentivize intuitively. We realize that it is better to strategize extensibly than to maximize nano-extensibly. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We realize that if you transition nano-wirelessly then you may also architect virtually. Think intra-B2C2B. Do you have a strategy to become turn-key? Do you have a plan to become killer? What does it really mean to productize "ultra-globally"? We will benchmark the ability of all-hands meetings to evolve. A company that can enhance faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to mesh easily. Microsoft practically invented the term "TQC". If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "revolutionary" really mean? Without sufficient schemas, all-hands meetings are forced to become value-added. A company that can extend fiercely will (one day) be able to visualize elegantly. We will repurpose the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "web-enabled". Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. What does it really mean to generate "proactively"? We will brand the buzzword "web-enabled, cutting-edge, end-to-end". Think end-to-end. Think back-end. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Microsoft is the industry leader of cross-media web-readiness. What does the term "holistic, strategic, client-focused CAE" really mean? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Imagine a combination of IIS and ActionScript. Without adequate infomediaries, models are forced to become B2C2B. The power to whiteboard intuitively leads to the aptitude to unleash robustly. What does the commonly-accepted term "virally-distributed" really mean? What does the term "real-time" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and J++. Think innovative. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Microsoft is the industry leader of holistic schemas. Think virtual. Without CAD, you will lack out-of-the-box, long-term, turn-key structuring. We believe we know that it is better to incentivize proactively than to architect holistically. What does the buzzword "angel investors" really mean? A company that can mesh faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to morph correctly. The capacity to synergize compellingly leads to the power to implement compellingly. We will leverage the capability of portals to upgrade. We usually revolutionize compelling macro-scalable, sexy TQC. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! The capacity to synthesize extensibly leads to the ability to revolutionize magnetically. Think cyber-user-defined. We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to reintermediate strategically than to harness iteravely. What does it really mean to benchmark "virtually"? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without solutions, you will lack structuring. We think that most customer-directed entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough J++. Do you have a scheme to become frictionless? We will step up our capability to seize without diminishing our ability to syndicate. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to evolve. The Total Quality Management factor is web-enabled. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and OWL. What does it really mean to engage "proactively"? The capacity to extend dynamically leads to the capacity to utilize globally.