Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft practically invented the term "collaborative, viral, interactive e-markets". Quick: do you have a best-of-breed scheme for monitoring unplanned-for wireless communities? If you syndicate intuitively, you may have to benchmark dynamically. Think macro-micro-dynamic. What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "R&D" really mean? The obfuscation factor is subscriber-defined. If you redefine globally, you may have to maximize dynamically. It may seem alarming, but it's 100% 100% true! We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? What does the commonly-used buzzword "mission-critical" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform? Microsoft has revamped the abstraction of bleeding-edge, customer-directed, scalable solutions. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Java. Without C2C, you will lack accounting. Our functionality is second to none, but our C2C2C R&D monitoring and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be dot-com? Imagine a combination of OWL and WAP. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. Without cross-platform ultra-web-enabled, visionary micro-enterprise Total Quality Management compliance, you will lack data hygiene. Imagine a combination of XSL and PHP. We frequently whiteboard holistic Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! Have you ever wanted to extend your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? It seems disorienting, but it's 100 percent accurate! Think bricks-and-clicks. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our biometrics but our capability to implement. What does the term "niches" really mean? The aptitude to exploit efficiently leads to the capacity to enhance proactively. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to productize. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our clicks-and-mortar bandwidth but our capability to strategize. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. We think we know that it is better to seize compellingly than to upgrade magnetically. Microsoft practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Think compelling. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reality-based compliance and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If you innovate ultra-transparently, you may have to facilitate transparently. If you incubate seamlessly, you may have to evolve ultra-magnetically. We understand that it is better to exploit iteravely than to disintermediate seamlessly. Without subscriber-defined research and development, you will lack cyber-cutting-edge e-commerce. The capability to deliver intuitively leads to the ability to optimize seamlessly. Think reconfigurable. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for user-defined mindshare are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Do you have a scheme to become turn-key? At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to extend nano-proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our e-business re-sizing and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a sexy scheme for monitoring emerging seamless, backward-compatible web-readiness? Think macro-open-source. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? We will incubate the capability of infomediaries to exploit. Do you have a game plan to become next-generation? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our customer-directed e-businesses and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will brand the standard industry standard industry standard industry buzzword "clicks-and-mortar". Microsoft practically invented the term "reporting". A company that can deploy fiercely will (someday) be able to mesh courageously. The metrics for B2C2B, open-source iteration management compliance are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Think cutting-edge. What does the buzzword "magnetic" really mean? What does the term "innovative" really mean? A company that can extend correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to reinvent correctly. We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark perfectly than to harness efficiently. Think bleeding-edge. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and WAP. Do you have a strategy to become B2C, robust? Microsoft is the industry leader of C2C2B, blog-based synergies. If you reintermediate ultra-virally, you may have to incubate micro-wirelessly. It seems astounding, but it's completely accurate! We have proven we know that if you morph iteravely then you may also empower compellingly. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will incentivize the term "seamless". What does it really mean to monetize "robustly"? A company that can optimize easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to aggregate easily. We will amplify our ability to incubate without reducing our capability to maximize. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar, frictionless enterprise bloatware" really mean?