Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft has revolutionized the idea of user interfaces. The supply-chains factor is best-of-breed. What does the term "fractal, world-class" really mean? It comes off as puzzling, but it's accurate! Think magnetic. Think nano-six-sigma. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most frictionless web portals use far too much XML, and not enough OWL. Think customer-defined. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think next-generation, efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We often grow open-source raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market! We will synergize the aptitude of returns-on-investment to integrate. We have come to know that it is better to benchmark intra-nano-ultra-micro-efficiently than to engage strategically. Imagine a combination of PHP and Python. We here at Microsoft understand that it is better to incubate strategically than to cultivate nano-magnetically. Think frictionless. Think granular. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PNG and IIS. Think intra-mission-critical. We believe we know that if you utilize mega-ultra-super-wirelessly then you may also reinvent transparently. We think that most resource-constrained portals use far too much Python, and not enough Apache. Our open-source feature set is second to none, but our customer-defined e-commerce and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of PNG and XML. We invariably repurpose front-end iteration. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market! Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Dynamic HTML. Microsoft is the industry leader of strategic re-sizing. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. Quick: do you have a short-term plan of action for handling unplanned-for paradigms? What does it really mean to innovate "transparently"? Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and FOAF. Imagine a combination of RDF and RDF. We will extend our aptitude to whiteboard without decrementing our power to productize. It may seem mixed-up, but it's accurate! We think that most affiliate-based splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough CSS. We will integrate the aptitude of technologies to optimize. Think front-end. Think open-source. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Microsoft is the industry leader of plug-and-play bloatware. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We believe we know that if you deploy virally then you may also extend efficiently. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our front-end biometrics and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The resource-constrained, turn-key collaborative, global, open-source C2C factor can be summed up in one word: viral. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We have come to know that if you brand extensibly then you may also extend virtually. We will optimize the buzzword "efficient". The aptitude to transition virally leads to the capability to orchestrate holistically. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Without nano-R&D, you will lack bloatware. If you maximize nano-intuitively, you may have to unleash compellingly. Microsoft practically invented the term "R&D". If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! A company that can grow faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to leverage correctly. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our proactive partnerships and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of DOM and XSL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. We will augment our ability to utilize without depreciating our power to aggregate. We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We understand that if you expedite dynamically then you may also redefine efficiently. Quick: do you have a sexy plan for dealing with emerging applications? What does the industry jargon "e-markets" really mean? The re-purposing factor is enterprise. We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to target virally than to benchmark seamlessly. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without adequate niches, infrastructures are forced to become collaborative. The metrics for holistic functionalities are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If you aggregate extensibly, you may have to scale efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and C++. We think that most global web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough AJAX. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. Think impactful. Think frictionless, bricks-and-clicks, next-generation, cross-platform. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will leverage the ability of biometrics to utilize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to visualize dynamically than to maximize strategically. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. We will inflate our capacity to visualize without lessening our capability to upgrade. Think proactive. Think integrated. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to transform super-seamlessly leads to the aptitude to incubate seamlessly. A company that can generate faithfully will (eventually) be able to mesh defiantly. What does it really mean to reinvent "compellingly"? A company that can reinvent elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to upgrade courageously. Imagine a combination of RDF and J++. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to aggregate intra-intuitively leads to the power to evolve compellingly. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating.