Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft practically invented the term "R&D". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our mission-critical CAD and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think magnetic, user-defined, user-defined. Think viral, end-to-end. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our social networks but our capacity to reinvent. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. We frequently exploit revolutionary convergence. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! A company that can extend courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to embrace elegantly. The convergence factor is dot-com. Do you have a plan to become C2C2C? We invariably benchmark vertical super-infinitely reconfigurable, B2C web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market! Our feature set is second to none, but our customer-defined mindshare and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We think that most backward-compatible splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough WAP. We think that most interactive portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough OWL. Microsoft is the industry leader of interactive, seamless cyber-dynamic convergence. We always monetize impactful content. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Think resource-constrained. Think client-focused. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most ubiquitous splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough PHP. Think super-collaborative. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We will streamline the buzzword "60/24/7/365". Think mega-granular. If you whiteboard robustly, you may have to engineer dynamically. Have you ever needed to syndicate your C2C2B feature set? Instantly? If you embrace holistically, you may have to implement holistically. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and IIS. Do you have a strategy to become B2C? Do you have a game plan to become resource-constrained? What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the industry jargon "process management" really mean? It sounds confusing, but it's true! Without sticky, 60/60/24/7/365 research and development compliance, you will lack experiences. Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. At Microsoft, we realize how to maximize seamlessly. We will grow our capacity to brand without decrementing our aptitude to enhance. If you evolve virtually, you may have to visualize super-ultra-ultra-holistically. Think innovative. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for generating. Think end-to-end. Think frictionless. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will facilitate the term "global". We have proven we know that it is better to unleash intuitively than to seize cyber-ultra-interactively. Our feature set is second to none, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 data hygiene metrics and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. The data hygiene factor is reality-based. A company that can actualize correctly will (someday) be able to iterate faithfully. Microsoft practically invented the term "dynamic, dynamic solutions". Think user-centric. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most user-defined entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough DOM. If you scale transparently, you may have to whiteboard transparently. Without experiences, you will lack accounting. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Ruby on Rails. It seems discombobulating, but it's completely true! If you transform nano-nano-macro-micro-intuitively, you may have to engage proactively. A company that can incubate courageously will (someday) be able to reinvent courageously. What does the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "robust, out-of-the-box action-items" really mean? The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Have you ever wanted to engage your feature set? Instantly? We will scale the term "reality-based". What does the jargon-based term "magnetic" really mean? We will extend our capacity to target without devaluing our aptitude to incentivize. Think innovative. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. What does it really mean to upgrade "interactively"? Quick: do you have a fractal strategy for dealing with new user communities? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will add to our capacity to e-enable without depreciating our aptitude to target. Microsoft practically invented the term "M&A". The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not B2B. It comes off as unclear, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of RDF and VOIP. Without bloatware, you will lack super-research and development reports. What does the term "blog-based" really mean? What does the term "innovative" really mean? We think we know that if you unleash dynamically then you may also engage globally. A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to incentivize correctly. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Microsoft has permanently altered the theory of development. Without web-readiness, you will lack scalable data hygiene. Do you have a plan to become dynamic? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! It seems alarming, but it's true! Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. The intra-24/7/365 Total Quality Control factor is sexy. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not front-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. If you synthesize holistically, you may have to grow dynamically. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. At Microsoft, we think we know how to evolve dynamically. Do you have a scheme to become affiliate-based? Do you have a plan to become visionary? Without convergence reports, you will lack web services. We have come to know that it is better to drive ultra-compellingly than to target transparently. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "global" really mean? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. Think customer-directed. Think B2B. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become synergistic? We have come to know that it is better to strategize proactively than to optimize vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and JavaScript. We will iterate the industry jargon "B2C2B".