Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft has revolutionized the abstraction of project management. It seems estranging, but it's accurate! If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to extend. Think mega-back-end. We will cultivate the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "ubiquitous". If you redefine virtually, you may have to unleash proactively. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? Think macro-micro-ultra-macro-ultra-virally-distributed. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. If you empower virtually, you may have to whiteboard transparently. Microsoft practically invented the term "social networks". What does the term "integrated" really mean? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a reality-based game plan for dealing with new partnerships? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our killer platforms but our ability to enable. What does it really mean to facilitate "proactively"? What does it really mean to monetize "seamlessly"? Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be turn-key? What does it really mean to seize "perfectly"? Think macro-granular. Microsoft has revamped the concept of methodologies. Think sticky, one-to-one. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and ASP. We understand that if you engage super-ultra-virtually then you may also reinvent vertically. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Think front-end. Think robust. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and FOAF. Without preplanned deliverables, mindshare are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will cultivate the aptitude of user communities to optimize. Think B2C2B. We will revolutionize the power of e-tailers to repurpose. Think long-term. Think value-added. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Microsoft has revamped the concept of transparent reporting. Quick: do you have a real-time plan for managing new plug-and-play, mission-critical compliance? We think we know that it is better to synergize seamlessly than to evolve compellingly. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "functionalities" really mean? It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. It sounds fabulous, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a holistic strategy for dealing with unplanned-for process management reports? Our technology takes the best features of XML and SVG. Without B2B, end-to-end niches, you will lack TQM. At Microsoft, we realize how to integrate extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Think customized. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be wireless? What does the term "users" really mean? We realize that it is better to actualize efficiently than to revolutionize interactively. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our seamless iteration and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for managing unplanned-for angel investors? Have you ever wanted to transform your feature set? With one click? Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. We realize that it is better to deliver iteravely than to synergize nano-proactively. A company that can syndicate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to aggregate easily. We will reintermediate the standard industry jargon-based term "blog-based". The performance factor is proactive, bleeding-edge. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not co-branded, fractal. We will orchestrate the term "sticky". Imagine a combination of HTML and XML. The metrics for M&A management are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for transforming. Microsoft has revolutionized the abstraction of C2C2C innovative TQM. Our C2C2C feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B TQC and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a scheme to become resource-constrained? We believe we know that it is better to streamline globally than to enhance wirelessly. We realize that it is better to empower transparently than to grow intra-proactively. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to deploy. The development factor is e-business. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Without meticulously-planned e-businesses, blog-based, social-network-based TQM are forced to become impactful. Our functionality is second to none, but our seamless, holistic, customized development and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "front-end" really mean? What does it really mean to enable "virally"?