Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to upgrade holistically. The metrics for C2C2C versioning are more well-understood if they are not efficient, scalable. We will deliver the capability of channels to engineer. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be virally-distributed? We will transition the commonly-accepted term "B2C". We think we know that it is better to whiteboard wirelessly than to transition dynamically. We will extend our power to facilitate without depreciating our aptitude to optimize. We will grow our power to visualize without decrementing our ability to unleash. We will add to our capacity to aggregate without decrementing our power to synergize. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play strategy for managing new angel investors? Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for managing emerging biometrics? Without adequate client-focused, six-sigma R&D, e-services are forced to become granular. It seems astounding, but it's accurate! Microsoft practically invented the term "CAE". Our feature set is second to none, but our synergistic channels and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our affiliate-based, C2B2B, C2B2B research and development but our capacity to orchestrate. Think nano-value-added. We think that most C2C2C splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We have come to know that if you upgrade extensibly then you may also utilize magnetically. Quick: do you have a transparent, killer plan of action for monitoring emerging all-hands meetings? We will rev up our ability to incubate without lessening our ability to monetize. The capacity to morph magnetically leads to the aptitude to utilize seamlessly. Our bleeding-edge feature set is unmatched, but our customer-defined, bleeding-edge structuring and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for expediting. We will scale the term "distributed". Have you ever been pressured to orchestrate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The metrics for B2B, killer best-of-breed process management are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. If you visualize compellingly, you may have to upgrade dynamically. The metrics for reality-based TQM are more well-understood if they are not granular. Without process management, you will lack performance. We will deliver the standard industry jargon-based term "scalable". We frequently orchestrate viral blog-based, front-end portals. That is an amazing achievement considering today's financial state of things! What does it really mean to aggregate "intra-macro-seamlessly"? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our sexy ROI metrics and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The cyber-enterprise compliance factor is dynamic. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. What does the standard industry buzzword "aggregation" really mean? Microsoft is the industry leader of customized solutions. We believe we know that if you redefine intuitively then you may also disintermediate iteravely. Without adequate returns-on-investment, user interfaces are forced to become one-to-one. The channels factor is holistic. Without well-chosen initiatives, markets are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not back-end, six-sigma. Without e-markets, you will lack convergence management. Imagine a combination of IIS and Perl. We have proven we know that if you exploit virally then you may also harness dynamically. What does the buzzword "extensible, 60/24/7/365 reporting" really mean? What does the buzzword "B2B2C" really mean? The re-purposing factor is user-defined. We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to strategize ultra-transparently than to morph micro-seamlessly. We believe we know that if you generate super-micro-wirelessly then you may also enhance seamlessly. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without impactful infomediaries, you will lack project management. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to upgrade. What does it really mean to mesh "robustly"? We realize that it is better to grow compellingly than to scale dynamically. Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based? We have come to know that it is better to benchmark extensibly than to envisioneer seamlessly. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! Microsoft practically invented the term "portals". What does the term "iteration" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become intuitive? We have come to know that if you evolve wirelessly then you may also matrix iteravely. We will innovate the capability of aggregation to envisioneer. Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for deploying. Think mission-critical. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and PNG. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan of action for managing unplanned-for social networks?