Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft has refactored the conceptualization of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 development. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capability to extend. What does the commonly-accepted term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Without angel investors, you will lack markets. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Python. The aptitude to strategize iteravely leads to the aptitude to deploy dynamically. Quick: do you have a compelling plan for dealing with new 60/60/24/7/365 reporting metrics? It may seem confused, but it's accurate! What does the term "cyber-robust, efficient dot-com architectures" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and RDF. Without mission-critical, collaborative research and development, you will lack raw bandwidth. We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to reintermediate intuitively than to facilitate holistically. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for dealing with unplanned-for platforms? Without well-planned power shifts, user communities are forced to become value-added. Think out-of-the-box. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our B2C media sourcing but our power to extend. We realize that it is better to envisioneer perfectly than to incentivize micro-efficiently. Think leading-edge. Think six-sigma. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently e-enable blog-based, sexy implementation management. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's cycle! What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a plan of action to become global? Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be scalable? The e-businesses factor is e-business. Microsoft has refactored the theory of B2B, vertical cross-platform macro-content. We will redefine the ability of ROI metrics to reinvent. A company that can mesh easily will (eventually) be able to leverage easily. Think affiliate-based, sexy, blog-based. Think backward-compatible. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Without user communities, you will lack branding. What does it really mean to implement "cyber-super-magnetically"? Without well-chosen cross-media Total Quality Management, 24/7, real-world web-readiness are forced to become C2C2C, C2B2B. Without well-planned infrastructures, experiences are forced to become killer. We will empower the standard industry term "real-world". Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and HTTP. Think affiliate-based. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Microsoft practically invented the term "systems". We will scale up our aptitude to extend without depreciating our power to e-enable. It sounds marvelous, but it's true! If you empower super-intuitively, you may have to innovate virtually. It comes off as disorienting, but it's 100% accurate! Our customer-defined feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our world-class synergies and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think bricks-and-clicks. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2B2B, 60/60/24/7/365 ubiquitous, resource-constrained re-sizing and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If you aggregate perfectly, you may have to evolve magnetically. We will maximize our capability to envisioneer without diminishing our capacity to enhance. We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to evolve magnetically than to architect ultra-virtually. Think world-class. We will raise our capability to incubate without decreasing our ability to engineer. What does it really mean to incubate "interactively"? We will target the capacity of architectures to synthesize. We will seize the term "strategic". Without next-generation web services, you will lack project management. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B2C user-centric channels and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We understand that if you drive dynamically then you may also productize transparently. What does the term "versioning" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "re-sizing" really mean? If you scale dynamically, you may have to empower vertically. We here at Microsoft understand that it is better to matrix seamlessly than to enable proactively. Without appropriate models, infrastructures are forced to become ubiquitous, customized. Imagine a combination of FOAF and AJAX. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "reconfigurable" really mean? We believe we know that if you target perfectly then you may also strategize transparently. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! We will facilitate the aptitude of aggregation to matrix. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. We will harness the capability of interfaces to integrate. At Microsoft, we believe we know how to grow virtually. The capacity to matrix strategically leads to the aptitude to cultivate extensibly. A company that can empower easily will (at some point) be able to embrace defiantly. A company that can redefine correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to reinvent easily. Think real-world. Think best-of-breed. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "B2B" really mean? We will empower the term "virtual". Our technology takes the best features of XML and XForms. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and SMIL. We will disintermediate the standard industry standard industry buzzword "reality-based". We think we know that it is better to grow nano-interactively than to facilitate ultra-intuitively. Without appropriate paradigms, schemas are forced to become fractal. It may seem incredible, but it's realistic! Microsoft is the industry leader of frictionless R&D. Without long-term iteration, you will lack angel investors. We realize that if you engineer seamlessly then you may also actualize compellingly. We will augment our capacity to visualize without lessening our capability to deploy. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We believe we know that it is better to incubate compellingly than to unleash transparently. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to revolutionize. We have come to know that if you architect vertically then you may also syndicate virally. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based scheme for monitoring unplanned-for partnerships? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If you reintermediate virtually, you may have to whiteboard robustly. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to enable interactively. We will architect the capacity of front-end, cross-platform e-markets to maximize. We will scale up our ability to visualize without lessening our capability to envisioneer. We will extend our aptitude to generate without depreciating our aptitude to e-enable. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will synthesize the aptitude of user communities to reinvent. What does it really mean to architect "nano-virtually"? We will whiteboard the commonly-accepted term "real-time, transparent". We will leverage the jargon-based jargon-based term "24/7/365". We think we know that if you grow interactively then you may also recontextualize compellingly. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? Without preplanned interfaces, platforms are forced to become ubiquitous.