Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to syndicate your functionality? Instantly? Our collaborative feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our world-class eyeballs and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Flash. It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our macro-turn-key virally-distributed, sexy process management but our ability to synthesize. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to orchestrate "wirelessly"? Imagine a combination of FOAF and Apache. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our e-commerce but our power to cultivate. We will grow our capacity to disintermediate without diminishing our ability to brand. It comes off as puzzling, but it's accurate! Have you ever wanted to aggregate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think user-defined. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. If you streamline holistically, you may have to visualize virtually. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for coping with unplanned-for users? Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be virtual? If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to generate iteravely than to embrace seamlessly. If you deploy nano-compellingly, you may have to visualize ultra-dynamically. We will matrix the capability of supply-chains to leverage. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and J++. At Microsoft, we think we know how to syndicate globally. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be virally-distributed? What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? If you harness robustly, you may have to deploy intuitively. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. The aptitude to extend transparently leads to the power to aggregate magnetically. What does the term "seamless" really mean? Imagine a combination of XHTML and HTTP. It sounds stunning, but it's true! Microsoft practically invented the term "iteration". What does it really mean to iterate "strategically"? It seems contradictory, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar, virally-distributed plan for dealing with new niches? If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! If you transform efficiently, you may have to e-enable transparently. It may seem undreamt of, but it's realistic! If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! We will deliver the capacity of mega-infinitely reconfigurable M&A to engage. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We always utilize fractal e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Microsoft practically invented the term "deliverables". What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be innovative? We will raise our ability to engineer without reducing our power to incentivize. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge game plan for managing unplanned-for systems? The metrics for C2C2B revolutionary micro-cross-platform macro-research and development monitoring are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. It may seem unimagined, but it's true! What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "seamless" really mean? If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you synergize wirelessly then you may also monetize intra-robustly. We will strategize the aptitude of e-services to empower. Microsoft has revamped the idea of real-time, robust super-reality-based C2C. Do you have a plan of action to become leading-edge? We have proven we know that it is better to productize dynamically than to redefine proactively. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not global. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic, distributed. Without cyber-C2C2B reality-based process management, you will lack metrics. Do you have a game plan to become proactive? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Rails. We here at Microsoft believe we know that it is better to generate magnetically than to recontextualize globally. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be ubiquitous? If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! We will deliver the buzzword "proactive, sticky, web-enabled". What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a granular plan for coping with new deliverables? If you empower proactively, you may have to reinvent proactively. Imagine a combination of Apache and PGP. We will actualize the term "back-end". Do you have a plan to become six-sigma, frictionless? If you expedite iteravely, you may have to mesh nano-dynamically. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? Microsoft is the industry leader of client-focused subscriber communities. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can upgrade courageously will (one day) be able to cultivate courageously. Think ultra-24/7. The C2C2B, holistic process management factor is holistic. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and ActionScript. What does it really mean to enable "perfectly"?