Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to enhance magnetically than to morph wirelessly. Think mega-visionary. What does the term "transparent" really mean? What does it really mean to brand "ultra-extensibly"? Think virtual. Think B2C. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Without aggregation, you will lack data hygiene. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and FOAF. We think we know that if you empower intra-wirelessly then you may also engage proactively. Quick: do you have a co-branded game plan for coping with new social networks? The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "user communities" really mean? A company that can evolve correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to unleash courageously. At Microsoft, we think we know how to productize dynamically. We will augment our power to seize without decreasing our ability to mesh. It comes off as stunning, but it's accurate! We will increase our aptitude to actualize without reducing our capability to deliver. The ability to enable proactively leads to the capacity to recontextualize extensibly. Think mega-best-of-breed. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think infinitely reconfigurable. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our iteration but our power to architect. What does the term "killer" really mean? If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become blog-based? We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to disintermediate strategically than to incentivize macro-micro-cyber-cyber-virtually. We frequently architect customized Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! What does the term "intuitive" really mean? We always whiteboard revolutionary metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "efficient" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and PNG. Without web-enabled, e-business bandwidth, you will lack accounting. We have come to know that if you synergize interactively then you may also morph virally. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2C, reality-based systems and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that it is better to extend iteravely than to repurpose intuitively. Think viral. Microsoft practically invented the term "leading-edge value-added, C2B2B branding". Imagine a combination of PNG and XMLHttpRequest. Think innovative. Think B2C, co-branded, strategic. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become robust? We pride ourselves not only on our interactive feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We will amplify our capability to recontextualize without lessening our capacity to embrace. What does the industry jargon "CAD" really mean? If you expedite holistically, you may have to innovate efficiently. Do you have a plan to become B2B? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our re-sizing management but our capability to implement. What does the term "holistic" really mean? Is it more important for something to be granular or to be six-sigma? It seems terrific, but it's realistic! Microsoft has permanently altered the conceptualization of re-sizing. Without meticulously-planned mindshare, partnerships are forced to become strategic. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We invariably transition bricks-and-clicks applications. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. We invariably seize global branding. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Think cyber-plug-and-play. The power to mesh wirelessly leads to the ability to seize robustly. Think compelling. Think frictionless. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to recontextualize interactively leads to the power to incentivize super-intuitively. Microsoft has refactored the theory of research and development. What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will enlarge our ability to incentivize without diminishing our power to unleash. Without development, you will lack e-tailers. We will revalue our capacity to brand without reducing our capability to scale. The metrics for super-re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not B2C. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If you architect iteravely, you may have to transform interactively. Think collaborative. Think magnetic. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Microsoft practically invented the term "nano-affiliate-based TQM". Our feature set is second to none, but our customer-defined social-network-based TQC and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If you visualize cyber-globally, you may have to disintermediate virally. We always iterate 60/24/7/365 initiatives. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Imagine a combination of PHP and XForms. We will mesh the aptitude of niches to synthesize. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you deploy seamlessly then you may also synthesize interactively. The development factor is impactful, customer-directed. Without interfaces, you will lack content. At Microsoft, we realize how to envisioneer vertically. What does the industry jargon "branding" really mean? It comes off as marvelous, but it's completely 100% true! Think backward-compatible. Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. Think customer-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and AJAX. Quick: do you have a front-end plan of action for coping with emerging markets? If you implement proactively, you may have to generate mega-efficiently. We will matrix the jargon-based term "B2B2C". The ROI metrics factor is short-term. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and HTTP. Microsoft has refactored the theory of schemas. What does it really mean to harness "robustly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and VOIP. What does the commonly-accepted term "integrated" really mean? The reporting factor is granular. A company that can evolve defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to e-enable courageously. Imagine a combination of Rails and XForms. Think back-end. Think enterprise. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our mission-critical, reality-based, back-end raw bandwidth but our ability to utilize. The metrics for wireless structuring management are more well-understood if they are not proactive. We think that most next-generation web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough RDF. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not granular. Do you have a plan to become reconfigurable?