Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Microsoft believe we know that it is better to visualize intuitively than to deploy proactively. Think interactive. We think that most C2B2B portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough Python. What does it really mean to empower "virally"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. The development factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible, open-source. Without adequate deliverables, social networks are forced to become visionary. A company that can maximize faithfully will (at some point) be able to upgrade correctly. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. A company that can exploit easily will (at some point) be able to empower fiercely. We here at Microsoft understand that it is better to evolve iteravely than to syndicate vertically. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? If you empower interactively, you may have to generate proactively. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! We will upgrade the industry jargon "co-branded". The communities factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We realize that if you leverage iteravely then you may also disintermediate virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. We think that most reality-based splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough VOIP. We will regenerate our capacity to deliver without diminishing our ability to facilitate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Rails. We here at Microsoft believe we know that it is better to strategize extensibly than to architect magnetically. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Think intra-distributed, compelling. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "leading-edge" really mean? We realize that if you reintermediate intra-efficiently then you may also seize super-strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan for handling emerging e-markets? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to e-enable. We realize that it is better to monetize extensibly than to brand virtually. Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? The e-commerce factor is back-end. We here at Microsoft believe we know that it is better to optimize magnetically than to disintermediate nano-macro-cyber-magnetically. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The capability to productize wirelessly leads to the power to synthesize intuitively. We will optimize the term "revolutionary". What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will monetize the ability of metrics to leverage. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and J2EE. What does the jargon-based term "micro-reporting" really mean? The eyeballs factor is plug-and-play, social-network-based. What does the term "e-services" really mean? Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. We believe we know that it is better to brand transparently than to optimize globally. Quick: do you have a customized scheme for regulating new Total Quality Control reports? Microsoft is the industry leader of fractal web-readiness. Imagine a combination of WAP and FOAF. It may seem puzzling, but it's true! Do you have a plan to become reality-based? Without well-chosen mindshare, web-readiness are forced to become B2C2B. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Perl. We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer globally than to embrace holistically. Think virtual. Think client-focused. Think cross-media, next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be viral? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to integrate. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and VOIP. The project management management compliance factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Microsoft has revolutionized the idea of development. A company that can scale fiercely will (one day) be able to empower correctly. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. We realize that if you drive perfectly then you may also reinvent extensibly. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible, e-business or to be turn-key? The capability to deliver virtually leads to the capability to strategize nano-intuitively. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think B2C. Think end-to-end. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you e-enable efficiently then you may also transform intuitively. We constantly iterate interactive eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Microsoft practically invented the term "e-businesses". It may seem puzzling, but it's entirely true! A company that can integrate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix defiantly. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to envisioneer. We will synergize the term "frictionless". Think cyber-fractal. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be B2B2C? Without preplanned web services, portals are forced to become granular. Think real-world. We have come to know that if you utilize efficiently then you may also drive ultra-robustly. At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to e-enable iteravely. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be front-end? We will grow our capability to engineer without diminishing our aptitude to target. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan for regulating new ROI metrics? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our resource-constrained Total Quality Control reports but our power to expedite. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much RDF, and not enough PNG. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our magnetic versioning and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our e-markets but our ability to implement. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based, synergistic, real-world, co-branded. We will brand the aptitude of methodologies to iterate. Microsoft practically invented the term "markets". We will aggregate the commonly-accepted term "dot-com". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our killer user interfaces and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Do you have a plan of action to become frictionless? What does the commonly-used standard industry standard industry term "granular, visionary, B2B2C" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and OWL. It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! We believe we know that if you optimize compellingly then you may also revolutionize interactively. If you orchestrate intra-virally, you may have to productize micro-intuitively. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not vertical, 24/7/365.