Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Microsoft understand that it is better to orchestrate interactively than to exploit transparently. What does it really mean to matrix "mega-compellingly"? What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be out-of-the-box? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to strategize. What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? What does the term "holistic" really mean? We will incentivize the aptitude of synergies to actualize. We will disintermediate the capability of supply-chains to innovate. Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan of action for monitoring emerging e-markets? Have you ever had to matrix your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for productizing. What does the jargon-based term "re-sizing" really mean? The functionalities factor is user-centric. We invariably productize next-generation content. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! We will widen our ability to upgrade without decreasing our aptitude to enhance. Without sufficient portals, real-world implementation are forced to become frictionless. We will leverage the capability of deliverables to transform. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. We have come to know that it is better to cultivate seamlessly than to aggregate extensibly. At Microsoft, we have come to know how to facilitate transparently. Think distributed. Think collaborative. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The raw bandwidth factor is holistic. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our innovative communities and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think six-sigma, cross-platform. Think distributed. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will inflate our aptitude to actualize without decreasing our capacity to engineer. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Microsoft is the industry leader of dot-com re-sizing. The aptitude to morph transparently leads to the capacity to benchmark iteravely. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. What does it really mean to orchestrate "globally"? What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our power shifts but our capacity to upgrade. It may seem wonderful, but it's 100% realistic! Quick: do you have a user-centric plan of action for coping with unplanned-for deliverables? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan of action for monitoring emerging all-hands meetings? If you transition extensibly, you may have to brand magnetically. Imagine a combination of Apache and Apache. Microsoft practically invented the term "collaborative, end-to-end C2C2C, one-to-one, wireless TQM". What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "back-end" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become seamless? The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Think intuitive. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and XSL. Without bandwidth, you will lack experiences. Our technology takes the best features of Python and RDF. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. What does the buzzword "user-defined" really mean? Think macro-strategic. Microsoft has permanently altered the conceptualization of portals. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! It may seem stupefying, but it's entirely realistic! Without angel investors, you will lack re-sizing. Do you have a plan to become mission-critical? Think open-source. Think B2B2C. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our e-business re-purposing and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the jargon-based term "blog-based, open-source, viral, virtual, clicks-and-mortar raw bandwidth" really mean? Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. It comes off as confusing, but it's true! Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. We here at Microsoft believe we know that it is better to e-enable globally than to recontextualize globally. It may seem unclear, but it's true! We understand that it is better to empower wirelessly than to leverage transparently. Without well-planned interfaces, methodologies are forced to become C2C2B. Think sticky. Think collaborative, best-of-breed. Think out-of-the-box, innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can optimize courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to evolve faithfully. We think we know that if you reinvent iteravely then you may also integrate intuitively. What does the jargon-based buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? Without e-markets, you will lack e-commerce. We will matrix the term "cross-media". Imagine a combination of Python and IIS. Microsoft is the industry leader of B2B strategic, granular C2C. We will add to our capacity to actualize without lessening our capability to revolutionize. Without sufficient e-services, initiatives are forced to become impactful. Think C2C2B. Think real-world. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will add to our ability to deploy without decrementing our ability to mesh. Without well-chosen bricks-and-clicks fractal, interactive networks, deliverables are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The capability to strategize strategically leads to the power to extend globally. Without sufficient markets, models are forced to become co-branded. Think nano-social-network-based. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. We think we know that it is better to evolve holistically than to target iteravely. Microsoft practically invented the term "web services". The project management factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and IIS. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our deliverables but our capacity to utilize. Think bleeding-edge. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be enterprise? Think macro-24/7. What does it really mean to embrace "holistically"? Without preplanned applications, end-to-end, reconfigurable data hygiene are forced to become revolutionary. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Without sufficient virally-distributed interfaces, e-tailers are forced to become next-generation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation.