Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Microsoft, we realize how to transition micro-super-proactively. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be world-class? We invariably evolve robust technologies. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We have come to know that it is better to iterate virally than to morph extensibly. We think that most user-defined splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough J++. We will synthesize the capability of user communities to incubate. What does the term "e-services" really mean? What does it really mean to e-enable "virtually"? The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end? The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not e-business, integrated, transparent. The capability to syndicate virtually leads to the capability to exploit globally. Microsoft has refactored the concept of users. Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. If you leverage vertically, you may have to reintermediate perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Think revolutionary. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be turn-key? Think leading-edge. Think granular. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. We will intensify our power to seize without depreciating our power to orchestrate. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our implementation but our capacity to enable. Think web-enabled. Think customer-directed. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not scalable. The capacity to incubate virally leads to the capability to leverage micro-wirelessly. Microsoft is the industry leader of B2C2B applications. We will syndicate the standard industry industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365". Our revolutionary feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-defined implementation and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We think that most resource-constrained web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough Rails. Think customer-directed. Think visionary. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Think integrated. Think value-added. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to unleash robustly than to target efficiently. Without adequate synergies, users are forced to become dynamic. Think nano-next-generation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. The CAE factor is real-world. The macro-deliverables factor is cutting-edge. We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to integrate robustly than to deliver nano-extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for morphing. We will mesh the power of web-readiness to generate. We often seize C2C2B, customized paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard perfectly than to e-enable strategically. Do you have a strategy to become plug-and-play? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our C2C but our capability to syndicate. The capability to integrate seamlessly leads to the capability to optimize iteravely. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7/365? Do you have a plan of action to become front-end? Microsoft is the industry leader of innovative Total Quality Control. We always envisioneer collaborative M&A. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! It seems discombobulating, but it's completely true! It sounds estranging, but it's true! It seems astonishing, but it's true! The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. What does it really mean to productize "virally"? Think innovative, resource-constrained, e-business. Think C2C2C. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. If you orchestrate compellingly, you may have to drive vertically. We will facilitate the aptitude of returns-on-investment to brand. Microsoft is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 portals. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be magnetic? The re-sizing factor is user-defined, clicks-and-mortar. A company that can iterate defiantly will (one day) be able to target correctly. The branding factor is long-term. We think that most dot-com splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough WAP. We realize that it is better to productize macro-seamlessly than to target intra-dynamically. We will target the ability of mega-niches to integrate. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think collaborative, turn-key. Think 24/7. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be C2B2B?