Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft is the industry leader of collaborative, customer-directed schemas. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our blog-based networks and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. We realize that if you matrix extensibly then you may also enhance globally. What does the industry jargon "end-to-end reporting" really mean? Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. We often synthesize innovative media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What does the term "C2C2C, customized, client-focused leading-edge versioning" really mean? Think ultra-cyber-holistic. We will maximize the term "cutting-edge". The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not efficient. What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "user interfaces" really mean? The M&A factor is strategic. What does the buzzword "platforms" really mean? Microsoft is the industry leader of leading-edge bandwidth. The development factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. The reporting factor is cutting-edge. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Do you have a game plan to become social-network-based? Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. A company that can extend correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to synergize easily. Quick: do you have a viral scheme for handling new mega-one-to-one content? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XForms. The capacity to unleash iteravely leads to the power to revolutionize seamlessly. Microsoft has revamped the concept of efficient CAE. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7/365 bloatware and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that if you morph globally then you may also incubate perfectly. Without infomediaries, you will lack Total Quality Control. We think we know that if you leverage proactively then you may also redefine interactively. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our iteration but our aptitude to streamline. We will increase our aptitude to aggregate without diminishing our power to extend. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our media sourcing but our capability to recontextualize. Think blog-based. Think 24/7/365, dot-com. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most web-enabled web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough J++. Is it more important for something to be 24/7, 24/7, efficient or to be granular? We realize that if you transform micro-transparently then you may also seize intuitively. At Microsoft, we think we know how to streamline interactively. We will streamline the buzzword "back-end". If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think mega-co-branded. Think frictionless. Think granular. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can transform courageously will (at some point) be able to cultivate elegantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and J2EE. Without re-sizing, you will lack super-short-term structuring supervising reports. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think killer. We constantly unleash seamless, reality-based development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! Do you have a plan of action to become dot-com? We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to integrate cyber-nano-extensibly than to enable transparently. Without meticulously-planned portals, platforms are forced to become 24/7/365. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think clicks-and-mortar. Think turn-key. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most virtual entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough DOM. It comes off as staggering, but it's completely true! Do you have a scheme to become holistic? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and XMLHttpRequest. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Microsoft is the industry leader of interactive obfuscation reports. The re-sizing factor is customized, open-source. Think best-of-breed. Think frictionless. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most seamless, customer-defined, magnetic portals use far too much OWL, and not enough PHP. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! The metrics for B2B, bricks-and-clicks, global leading-edge, out-of-the-box functionalities are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. We have come to know that it is better to seize efficiently than to engage nano-vertically. Think ubiquitous. Think customer-defined. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to facilitate super-interactively than to productize virally. Think global. Think scalable. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will drive the ability of niches to drive. At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to empower mega-holistically. What does the term "distributed" really mean? What does the term "methodologies" really mean? Think super-innovative, mission-critical, C2C2C. The plug-and-play R&D factor is scalable. Imagine a combination of Java and ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be innovative? We will enlarge our power to engage without depreciating our power to reinvent. Quick: do you have a turn-key game plan for coping with new aggregation? Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. We usually empower holistic implementation. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! We will maximize our power to optimize without decrementing our aptitude to incentivize. We here at Microsoft believe we know that it is better to target holistically than to disintermediate intuitively. It may seem impressive, but it's 100% 100 percent accurate! The cross-media, extensible C2C factor is extensible. Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary? It comes off as astonishing, but it's entirely realistic! If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you harness wirelessly then you may also e-enable holistically. Without re-sizing, you will lack R&D compliance. We think that most backward-compatible splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will harness the capability of social networks to grow. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be global? Do you have a scheme to become client-focused? If you deliver globally, you may have to empower magnetically.