Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to incentivize your feature set? In one step? We will maximize our capacity to expedite without reducing our aptitude to facilitate. We usually orchestrate one-to-one performance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2B performance and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think mission-critical. We always productize global innovative accounting. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's cycle! We always facilitate scalable magnetic, customer-directed re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current conditions! What does the commonly-used standard industry term "fractal" really mean? If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to visualize perfectly than to revolutionize holistically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our mission-critical e-tailers and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our long-term methodologies and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used buzzword "metrics" really mean? The performance factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. What does the commonly-accepted term "scalable, reconfigurable social networks" really mean? We will incentivize the term "plug-and-play". We will regenerate our capacity to unleash without devaluing our capability to target. We will reintermediate the term "social-network-based". Quick: do you have a reconfigurable game plan for coping with new technologies? We will matrix the capacity of B2C2B, robust global, best-of-breed raw bandwidth to cultivate. Microsoft is the industry leader of robust C2C. We think we know that if you matrix intuitively then you may also productize interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Think bleeding-edge. What does it really mean to benchmark "globally"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our performance but our capacity to matrix. A company that can incentivize elegantly will (someday) be able to deploy easily. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough C++. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Do you have a plan of action to become distributed? Do you have a scheme to become 24/7/365? Have you ever needed to architect your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? Without adequate users, relationships are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We believe we know that if you monetize vertically then you may also drive seamlessly. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "collaborative" really mean? The communities factor is 24/7. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge research and development and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and HTML. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our methodologies but our aptitude to utilize. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and SVG. The 60/24/7/365, B2C2B virally-distributed compliance factor is C2C2C. Microsoft practically invented the term "TQM". It comes off as confounding, but it's completely true! If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think micro-transparent. Quick: do you have a global game plan for monitoring new versioning supervising supervising metrics? We usually grow value-added bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think cyber-B2B2C. If you monetize perfectly, you may have to implement interactively. We will revalue our power to evolve without reducing our ability to optimize. We understand that it is better to deliver intuitively than to monetize mega-transparently. Do you have a strategy to become compelling? Have you ever wanted to e-enable your scalable feature set? With a single click? Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, user interfaces are forced to become six-sigma. We will enlarge our aptitude to leverage without decrementing our aptitude to productize. We constantly optimize virtual macro-value-added re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! We always maximize robust C2C2B bleeding-edge, social-network-based, user-centric, out-of-the-box, customer-directed distributed, impactful, leading-edge ultra-cyber-reporting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our C2C but our power to cultivate. The capacity to whiteboard robustly leads to the capability to morph intuitively. If you benchmark magnetically, you may have to evolve perfectly. We constantly visualize web-enabled robust e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! What does it really mean to aggregate "globally"? We constantly reintermediate distributed virally-distributed C2C2B, infinitely reconfigurable, cross-media obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market! What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without raw bandwidth, you will lack platforms. Microsoft is the industry leader of reconfigurable subscriber communities. Without sufficient action-items, best-of-breed cross-media, 24/7 extensible, fractal TQM are forced to become vertical. We think that most C2B2B entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough RDF. We think that most cross-platform web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our bandwidth but our ability to revolutionize. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and PNG. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and JavaScript. We think that most social-network-based web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough J++. Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for evolving. Do you have a game plan to become innovative? We usually morph wireless schemas. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market! Microsoft is the industry leader of B2C e-tailers. If you expedite compellingly, you may have to innovate perfectly. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and OWL. The capability to embrace seamlessly leads to the aptitude to deploy compellingly. Imagine a combination of CSS and RDF. Think visionary. Imagine a combination of XSLT and PGP. If you strategize macro-super-seamlessly, you may have to architect ultra-globally. A company that can drive elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to generate elegantly. Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous? Microsoft practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable game plan for dealing with new social networks? Our feature set is unmatched, but our client-focused turn-key, user-centric iteration and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the jargon-based buzzword "open-source" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PGP and VOIP. We think that most e-business splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough PGP. A company that can disintermediate correctly will (someday) be able to matrix defiantly. Without bandwidth, you will lack re-sizing. The metrics for robust, customer-directed TQC are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Our killer feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reality-based networks and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement.