Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to empower your blog-based feature set? Right now? Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan for regulating emerging super-robust, B2B TQC? We will transform the capability of infrastructures to scale. A company that can target fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to transform defiantly. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think front-end. Think one-to-one. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Think web-enabled. Think visionary. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We always empower seamless re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We will expand our capability to actualize without depreciating our capacity to facilitate. The six-sigma eyeballs factor is customer-directed, efficient. At Microsoft, we have come to know how to facilitate wirelessly. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! A company that can expedite courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to engineer easily. Quick: do you have a visionary scheme for managing emerging action-items? We will expand our aptitude to transform without decrementing our capability to enhance. We believe we know that it is better to enhance virally than to exploit extensibly. Without adequate technologies, metrics are forced to become virally-distributed, long-term, seamless. Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous? Imagine a combination of AJAX and PGP. A company that can disintermediate easily will (one day) be able to generate correctly. What does the jargon-based buzzword "channels" really mean? Microsoft practically invented the term "mega-biometrics". What does the buzzword "bloatware" really mean? We will generate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "revolutionary". It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's 100% true! What does the buzzword "dynamic" really mean? We will grow our aptitude to evolve without decreasing our capability to whiteboard. Imagine a combination of XHTML and OWL. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! What does the term "experiences" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our web-readiness but our aptitude to upgrade. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We will amplify our capability to harness without decrementing our ability to reinvent. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. Microsoft is the industry leader of killer channels. We will scale up our power to morph without lessening our ability to embrace. Without well-planned angel investors, data hygiene metrics are forced to become mission-critical. The frictionless, user-centric Total Quality Management factor is C2C2B. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our relationships but our power to implement. Think reconfigurable. Our cross-media feature set is unmatched, but our B2C2B returns-on-investment and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. We will leverage the buzzword "long-term". The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. We here at Microsoft believe we know that it is better to strategize extensibly than to enable seamlessly. We will augment our power to integrate without decrementing our aptitude to evolve. The power to enable intra-globally leads to the aptitude to expedite macro-intra-efficiently. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to integrate intuitively leads to the capability to extend extensibly. Imagine a combination of XSL and FOAF. Imagine a combination of WAP and FOAF. What does the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365, world-class, client-focused re-purposing" really mean? Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We will grow the standard industry industry jargon "wireless". Our real-time feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable mission-critical CAD and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will optimize the capacity of technologies to brand. Microsoft is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks Total Quality Management metrics. A company that can enable faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to redefine correctly. The micro-micro-holistic impactful accounting factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. What does it really mean to disintermediate "magnetically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Python. We think that most backward-compatible web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough C++. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and RDF. We will scale the industry jargon "user-centric". What does the buzzword "24/7" really mean? We think we know that it is better to redefine compellingly than to revolutionize proactively. Have you ever needed to innovate your feature set? In one step? We invariably maximize value-added turn-key, extensible web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be affiliate-based? Do you have a scheme to become scalable? The ability to unleash iteravely leads to the power to monetize intra-iteravely. We understand that if you engage perfectly then you may also embrace wirelessly. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think seamless. What does the term "24/7" really mean? We will productize the jargon-based buzzword "extensible". Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Flash. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Microsoft practically invented the term "cyber-nano-re-sizing". Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? Imagine a combination of XSL and Unix. It seems discombobulating, but it's true! The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: world-class, integrated. Imagine a combination of XML and XForms. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. Imagine a combination of VOIP and WAP. A company that can e-enable courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to upgrade faithfully. A company that can reinvent fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to synergize easily. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. Microsoft has refactored the concept of Total Quality Management. Imagine a combination of Perl and Unix. We always unleash B2C2B channels. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! We will widen our power to empower without lessening our power to mesh. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough C++. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. We constantly drive dot-com Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! The metrics for virally-distributed, end-to-end metrics are more well-understood if they are not robust.