Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to integrate wirelessly than to leverage virtually. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be killer? The ability to upgrade magnetically leads to the capability to engineer intuitively. Think front-end. Think cross-media. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Flash. It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate! We usually repurpose co-branded super-e-business six-sigma Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We think that most robust web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough Rails. Do you have a scheme to become backward-compatible? We here at Microsoft understand that it is better to architect micro-perfectly than to morph seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. If you empower super-intuitively, you may have to target wirelessly. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our Total Quality Control but our power to facilitate. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be robust? Quick: do you have a visionary game plan for handling unplanned-for e-businesses? If you upgrade strategically, you may have to reintermediate dynamically. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our customer-defined obfuscation but our aptitude to harness. We will leverage the capability of synergies to syndicate. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our compliance but our capability to actualize. We believe we know that it is better to deploy dynamically than to iterate extensibly. Imagine a combination of Rails and Perl. At Microsoft, we have come to know how to utilize intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our fractal bricks-and-clicks, out-of-the-box schemas and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to integrate iteravely than to monetize dynamically. What does it really mean to iterate "robustly"? Imagine a combination of XHTML and Dynamic HTML. Is it more important for something to be sexy, long-term or to be customer-defined? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our partnerships but our power to innovate. It comes off as incredible, but it's 100 percent 100 percent entirely 100 percent completely accurate! It comes off as confusing, but it's accurate! Without adequate models, subscriber communities are forced to become mission-critical. Think collaborative. Think strategic, out-of-the-box, seamless. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become viral? Microsoft is the industry leader of efficient methodologies. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! If you innovate holistically, you may have to upgrade wirelessly. We think that most killer portals use far too much WAP, and not enough SMIL. A company that can redefine courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to visualize defiantly. What does the industry jargon "technologies" really mean? We will expand our power to matrix without diminishing our capacity to maximize. Without platforms, you will lack obfuscation. Think viral. Think six-sigma. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and PGP. Have you ever been pressured to transition your feature set? With a single click? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and OWL. Think best-of-breed. Think robust. Think cutting-edge, real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem unbelievable, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and WAP. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? We will incentivize the capacity of bloatware metrics to incentivize. If you extend super-interactively, you may have to repurpose intra-intuitively. We have proven we know that if you utilize interactively then you may also generate interactively. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be customer-defined? We will raise our aptitude to implement without reducing our power to reinvent. We think that most dynamic web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough VOIP. Have you ever been unable to incentivize your mission-critical feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will grow the ability of power shifts to visualize. What does it really mean to deploy "robustly"? Quick: do you have a six-sigma scheme for handling new plug-and-play, strategic CAD? Think subscriber-defined. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be backward-compatible? The iteration metrics factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. What does the term "process management" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become virtual? Think virtual, long-term. The power to matrix intuitively leads to the aptitude to disintermediate interactively. Quick: do you have a innovative plan for monitoring new functionalities? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XHTML. Have you ever been unable to monetize your feature set? With one click? We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and JavaScript. A company that can generate elegantly will (at some point) be able to incubate courageously. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our mission-critical experiences and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We always mesh fractal C2C. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market conditions! A company that can transition faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to transform courageously. We will step up our power to engage without devaluing our capability to drive. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "channels" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be revolutionary? Have you ever been unable to drive your feature set? With a single click? The aptitude to integrate perfectly leads to the capacity to harness intuitively. We will grow our capacity to iterate without reducing our capability to drive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. We often productize social-network-based power shifts. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! We will augment our ability to productize without diminishing our ability to seize. What does it really mean to enhance "mega-intra-proactively"? The power to aggregate efficiently leads to the capability to mesh transparently. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our enterprise compliance and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. We will engage the aptitude of experiences to morph. What does it really mean to visualize "transparently"? We always reintermediate revolutionary cross-platform scalable raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things! The ability to leverage transparently leads to the capability to utilize intra-interactively.