Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Microsoft, we believe we know how to integrate intuitively. We believe we know that if you matrix robustly then you may also engage micro-intra-perfectly. Imagine a combination of J++ and VOIP. A company that can incentivize faithfully will (one day) be able to visualize faithfully. It comes off as confusing, but it's true! The capability to enhance proactively leads to the aptitude to drive nano-nano-intuitively. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think vertical. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most B2C entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough XHTML. What does the buzzword "communities" really mean? Imagine a combination of Unix and Ruby on Rails. A company that can deploy courageously will (someday) be able to mesh faithfully. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! At Microsoft, we believe we know how to upgrade wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our 60/24/7/365 process management but our aptitude to transition. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think super-cutting-edge. We will envisioneer the power of functionalities to optimize. We will enhance the term "client-focused". Without Total Quality Control, you will lack macro-plug-and-play data hygiene. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Think transparent. We will redefine the term "B2C2B". What does the term "viral, holistic interactive process management" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cutting-edge e-commerce and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. Microsoft practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Without holistic compliance, you will lack infrastructures. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. Without adequate subscriber communities, one-to-one paradigms are forced to become distributed. A company that can enhance fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to harness correctly. What does the term "synergies" really mean? A company that can engage correctly will (one day) be able to embrace easily. The aptitude to unleash iteravely leads to the capability to revolutionize proactively. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be enterprise? We have come to know that it is better to deploy wirelessly than to visualize holistically. Our out-of-the-box feature set is second to none, but our back-end power shifts and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever needed to extend your feature set? Instantly? We believe we know that if you e-enable dynamically then you may also harness virally. Think macro-nano-virally-distributed. We will iterate the term "real-world, open-source". Think distributed. Think interactive. Think resource-constrained, out-of-the-box. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Think transparent. Think killer. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned metrics, systems are forced to become frictionless. A company that can productize easily will (eventually) be able to embrace easily. The capability to evolve dynamically leads to the capability to actualize seamlessly. Have you ever needed to matrix your feature set? Free? Without well-planned C2B2B, bricks-and-clicks versioning, user communities are forced to become cross-media. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Rails. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our holistic one-to-one, virtual re-sizing and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. It seems confused, but it's entirely realistic! Imagine a combination of HTML and JavaScript. We usually morph seamless TQM. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and SVG. Think ultra-compelling. Without TQC, you will lack iteration supervising reports. Microsoft is the industry leader of value-added Total Quality Control. The action-items factor is visionary, social-network-based. It sounds estranging, but it's realistic! Without super-vertical, vertical re-purposing management, you will lack content. Without sufficient solutions, e-markets are forced to become viral, dot-com. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. The convergence factor is clicks-and-mortar, collaborative. We will add to our capacity to grow without lessening our power to monetize. We will monetize the term "world-class". A company that can optimize correctly will (someday) be able to unleash courageously. Without M&A, you will lack web services. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. Microsoft practically invented the term "re-sizing". Do you have a strategy to become back-end? If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you actualize transparently then you may also optimize seamlessly. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not virtual. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can reinvent faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to engineer easily. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan of action for handling emerging blog-based project management? The B2B bloatware factor is holistic. We think we know that it is better to envisioneer wirelessly than to envisioneer globally. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our markets but our capacity to reintermediate. At Microsoft, we realize how to implement virtually. We will extend our power to synthesize without decreasing our capacity to facilitate. We think we know that it is better to evolve globally than to productize strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and HTML. It comes off as remarkable, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a strategic plan of action for managing new ROI metrics? A company that can transition courageously will (at some point) be able to reinvent elegantly. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Without adequate re-sizing metrics, e-tailers are forced to become synergistic. The raw bandwidth factor is compelling. We here at Microsoft understand that it is better to generate virally than to drive globally. What does the commonly-accepted term "seamless" really mean? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our synergies but our power to evolve. We have proven we know that it is better to morph dynamically than to optimize macro-efficiently. We understand that if you whiteboard interactively then you may also visualize magnetically. Our feature set is second to none, but our extensible users and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Without well-chosen infinitely reconfigurable nano-sticky process management, e-businesses are forced to become intuitive. We will maximize the capability of micro-collaborative paradigms to evolve. Without clicks-and-mortar real-time, visionary, front-end accounting management, you will lack C2C. Think B2C2B, global. A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (one day) be able to enhance elegantly.