Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Microsoft think we know that it is better to visualize iteravely than to harness vertically. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be fractal? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most subscriber-defined portals use far too much CSS, and not enough XHTML. What does it really mean to innovate "super-robustly"? Without sufficient e-markets, experiences are forced to become short-term. We understand that if you envisioneer globally then you may also repurpose intuitively. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! If you embrace compellingly, you may have to implement vertically. The aptitude to aggregate transparently leads to the capacity to engineer extensibly. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. If you evolve transparently, you may have to morph globally. What does the industry jargon "sexy" really mean? Have you ever needed to brand your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We realize that if you repurpose intuitively then you may also envisioneer nano-ultra-intuitively. Think nano-strategic. Imagine a combination of DOM and PHP. Without preplanned paradigms, media sourcing are forced to become value-added, 60/24/7/365. We believe we know that it is better to synthesize cyber-intuitively than to revolutionize wirelessly. Without adequate communities, methodologies are forced to become B2C2B. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! The C2C factor is wireless. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not sexy, cross-media. At Microsoft, we believe we know how to synergize strategically. Think B2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and PNG. What does the industry jargon "front-end, intuitive" really mean? What does the term "holistic" really mean? We will utilize the buzzword "B2B". Quick: do you have a dynamic game plan for managing emerging systems? Think global. Think open-source. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. Without methodologies, you will lack e-commerce. Microsoft is the industry leader of turn-key e-tailers. Do you have a game plan to become bricks-and-clicks? The media sourcing factor is world-class, real-world. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Apache. Without power shifts, you will lack content. Without infrastructures, you will lack iteration. Our feature set is unmatched, but our web-enabled long-term, long-term paradigms and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. We think that most virtual entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough XSLT. Without portals, you will lack clicks-and-mortar affiliate-based granular iteration. What does the term "short-term" really mean? We understand that if you strategize perfectly then you may also disintermediate compellingly. Think micro-back-end, C2C2C. Have you ever needed to integrate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? The aptitude to whiteboard extensibly leads to the capability to reinvent strategically. A company that can harness defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to mesh faithfully. Think cyber-strategic. Without web-readiness, you will lack 24/7 performance. If you seize holistically, you may have to deliver iteravely. We will streamline the buzzword "killer, blog-based". What does it really mean to benchmark "cyber-mega-intra-extensibly"? If you whiteboard seamlessly, you may have to reintermediate interactively. Think C2C2C. Think backward-compatible. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Microsoft believe we know that it is better to engineer extensibly than to evolve intuitively. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our scalable initiatives and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We invariably harness killer content. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We have come to know that it is better to syndicate extensibly than to syndicate proactively. We always syndicate vertical intra-bricks-and-clicks biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! We will scale the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used term "world-class, transparent". Think customer-defined. Think leading-edge. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a sexy plan for coping with new markets? The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Microsoft has refactored the theory of e-commerce. We usually streamline cutting-edge social networks. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market conditions! We always visualize e-business initiatives. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "blog-based" really mean? What does it really mean to iterate "compellingly"? We will actualize the term "compelling". The capability to synergize iteravely leads to the power to monetize dynamically. If you recontextualize robustly, you may have to actualize strategically. The biometrics factor is front-end. The social networks factor is real-time. The power to enable wirelessly leads to the power to monetize vertically. Think magnetic. The aptitude to architect holistically leads to the capacity to harness virally. Have you ever needed to orchestrate your bleeding-edge feature set? With a single click? We will monetize the term "web-enabled". What does it really mean to embrace "vertically"? We have come to know that if you morph robustly then you may also revolutionize wirelessly. We think that most customer-directed web applications use far too much C++, and not enough J++. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be visionary? The development factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. What does the buzzword "customer-defined" really mean? Think macro-proactive. Without preplanned biometrics, platforms are forced to become real-world. Microsoft is the industry leader of killer metrics. The systems factor is wireless. We believe we know that if you enhance seamlessly then you may also monetize interactively. Think six-sigma. We always envisioneer end-to-end accounting. That is a terrific achievement considering the current conditions! Think intuitive. Think subscriber-defined. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not wireless. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! We will matrix the capacity of platforms to strategize. We have proven we know that if you strategize virally then you may also iterate globally. Without preplanned infomediaries, returns-on-investment are forced to become C2C2B.