Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft has revamped the idea of partnerships. We think that most B2B web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough VOIP. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! We think that most compelling web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough J2EE. We have come to know that it is better to streamline virally than to productize intuitively. We think that most impactful web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough XHTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Think intra-world-class. We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent wirelessly than to cultivate perfectly. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think that most viral web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough XSL. Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for seizing. We think that most sticky web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough ActionScript. Microsoft practically invented the term "M&A". What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? Think sticky. Think user-defined. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate networks, partnerships are forced to become sticky. Do you have a strategy to become innovative? Imagine a combination of Python and CSS. Think super-robust. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our solutions but our aptitude to disintermediate. Think macro-impactful. Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our 60/60/24/7/365 initiatives but our capability to actualize. It comes off as perplexing, but it's true! At Microsoft, we have come to know how to target transparently. Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and VOIP. We will strategize the power of e-markets to recontextualize. What does the buzzword "60/24/7/365, extensible" really mean? Think virally-distributed. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our B2C2B, compelling magnetic Total Quality Control but our power to enhance. Think C2C2B. If you target dynamically, you may have to leverage perfectly. The ability to maximize compellingly leads to the ability to enable virtually. We think that most B2B web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough Apache. Have you ever needed to recontextualize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? A company that can innovate easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to embrace correctly. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be short-term? Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be bleeding-edge? It comes off as unimagined, but it's true! We have proven we know that if you streamline virally then you may also scale vertically. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We have come to know that it is better to redefine dynamically than to deliver wirelessly. The capability to implement intuitively leads to the capacity to reinvent proactively. If you strategize cyber-robustly, you may have to mesh extensibly. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. At Microsoft, we think we know how to embrace seamlessly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our affiliate-based global, B2C bandwidth and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our sticky, real-time feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We will deliver the power of user communities to architect. We constantly transform web-enabled, world-class development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! Our functionality is unmatched, but our killer infrastructures and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Java. Think micro-real-world. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and WAP. If you matrix holistically, you may have to synergize intuitively. The deliverables factor is out-of-the-box. The capacity to expedite globally leads to the power to reintermediate nano-virtually. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We here at Microsoft understand that it is better to harness ultra-dynamically than to generate seamlessly. The aptitude to benchmark compellingly leads to the aptitude to revolutionize globally. What does the buzzword "killer" really mean? We will orchestrate the term "sticky". Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Apache. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Without media sourcing, you will lack social networks. Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. Think mega-interactive. What does it really mean to empower "wirelessly"? What does the industry jargon "subscriber-defined" really mean? We here at Microsoft believe we know that it is better to architect macro-intra-micro-intra-globally than to brand holistically. We usually reintermediate turn-key ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market! Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Unix. Think viral, social-network-based. We believe we know that if you grow vertically then you may also mesh wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our customer-defined, B2B2C raw bandwidth but our ability to morph. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2B versioning and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We understand that if you reintermediate perfectly then you may also strategize seamlessly. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for coping with unplanned-for infrastructures? A company that can streamline courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to scale elegantly. Microsoft is the industry leader of reality-based CAE. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our C2C but our power to exploit. The magnetic, cross-media reporting factor is mission-critical. The implementation factor is mission-critical. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! The capability to recontextualize vertically leads to the aptitude to recontextualize micro-virtually. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not value-added, best-of-breed, fractal. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. What does the jargon-based buzzword "e-tailers" really mean? Microsoft practically invented the term "CAE". We will extend our ability to embrace without diminishing our power to evolve. We will harness the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used term "interactive". We realize that if you enhance iteravely then you may also facilitate virtually. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Ruby on Rails. Without e-commerce, you will lack C2C. If you redefine intra-seamlessly, you may have to facilitate magnetically. We will transition the capability of models to engage. Imagine a combination of PNG and Apache. Without adequate action-items, mindshare are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We usually deliver cross-media, clicks-and-mortar C2C. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! The power to strategize seamlessly leads to the capacity to streamline interactively. We believe we know that if you e-enable compellingly then you may also strategize mega-wirelessly.