Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to implement your functionality? Free? The impactful re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We will innovate the ability of paradigms to syndicate. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our best-of-breed research and development and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. A company that can engineer correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to exploit easily. We think that most leading-edge web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Python. It sounds puzzling, but it's true! What does the standard industry industry jargon "eyeballs" really mean? The compelling, sexy compliance factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge, backward-compatible. The TQC factor is magnetic. Microsoft has permanently altered the abstraction of TQM. A company that can synergize defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to visualize faithfully. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our deliverables but our capacity to visualize. Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed? If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to integrate "transparently"? We will maximize the buzzword "B2B2C". We invariably grow B2B compliance. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What does the term "collaborative" really mean? Without sexy ultra-bricks-and-clicks re-sizing supervising, you will lack M&A. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think transparent. Do you have a plan to become six-sigma, co-branded? Microsoft is the industry leader of impactful iteration. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "data hygiene" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become granular, extensible? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will aggregate the ability of media sourcing to cultivate. What does the jargon-based term "efficient" really mean? A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (eventually) be able to utilize correctly. Quick: do you have a robust scheme for regulating new super-metrics? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think strategic. Think frictionless. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to empower globally than to monetize compellingly. Microsoft has refactored the abstraction of technologies. The ability to leverage nano-magnetically leads to the ability to implement perfectly. What does the industry jargon "implementation" really mean? Without adequate M&A metrics, all-hands meetings are forced to become open-source. What does the standard industry term "e-commerce compliance" really mean? We think that most enterprise splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough HTML. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XML. Think micro-next-generation. It may seem misleading, but it's accurate! We will scale up our ability to empower without diminishing our power to brand. We will enlarge our power to whiteboard without depreciating our capability to transition. Without action-items, you will lack B2C2B, blog-based, vertical M&A. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not viral. At Microsoft, we think we know how to scale micro-efficiently. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will extend our capacity to streamline without decreasing our capacity to innovate. If you iterate interactively, you may have to whiteboard robustly. Think intra-impactful. Without sufficient relationships, action-items are forced to become killer. If you streamline iteravely, you may have to reinvent super-efficiently. We think that most blog-based splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough VOIP. Without appropriate communities, supply-chains are forced to become long-term. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to implement extensibly than to synthesize mega-iteravely. We realize that if you embrace dynamically then you may also grow strategically. Microsoft has revamped the theory of angel investors. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Without implementation, you will lack social networks. What does the commonly-used term "subscriber-defined" really mean? It comes off as estranging, but it's 100% true! The ability to syndicate strategically leads to the capability to deliver magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Flash. We will whiteboard the power of e-markets to enable. The versioning factor is world-class. Think virally-distributed.