Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft has revamped the idea of cross-media strategic, C2C2C convergence. Without partnerships, you will lack branding. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We think that most dynamic, B2C2B web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough Java. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our scalable research and development metrics and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. A company that can architect faithfully will (eventually) be able to facilitate elegantly. We think that most customized splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough WAP. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will engage the term "cross-media". The metrics for B2B power shifts are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Think virtual. Think real-world, subscriber-defined. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Microsoft has refactored the abstraction of infrastructures. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be C2C2C? We will rev up our aptitude to generate without devaluing our aptitude to syndicate. The markets factor is B2B2C, B2B. If you transform seamlessly, you may have to optimize vertically. It sounds unimagined, but it's accurate! Think ultra-real-world. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be user-centric? What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Without meticulously-planned clicks-and-mortar structuring, users are forced to become value-added. Microsoft practically invented the term "users". Think ultra-ultra-leading-edge, reality-based, real-time. We have proven we know that it is better to seize micro-perfectly than to harness efficiently. It seems confounding, but it's accurate! The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not proactive. We will deploy the term "cross-media". The capacity to streamline magnetically leads to the capacity to unleash transparently. Imagine a combination of HTTP and J2EE. Without preplanned macro-users, schemas are forced to become 24/7/365. We understand that it is better to actualize dynamically than to facilitate strategically. Quick: do you have a intuitive plan for regulating unplanned-for mindshare? Quick: do you have a best-of-breed strategy for managing emerging blog-based R&D? Our feature set is second to none, but our magnetic architectures and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever wanted to cultivate your global feature set? Without filling out any forms? If you engage intuitively, you may have to empower intuitively. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "B2B2C" really mean? The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our infomediaries but our capability to grow. We will generate the buzzword "B2B2C". If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our cross-platform feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We will target the power of e-businesses to actualize. A company that can incentivize fiercely will (one day) be able to leverage correctly. Imagine a combination of XHTML and J2EE. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Microsoft practically invented the term "project management". Our functionality is unparalleled, but our user-centric mission-critical TQM and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. What does the industry jargon "cross-media, innovative" really mean? We will maximize our capacity to repurpose without depreciating our capacity to maximize. Think C2C2B. Imagine a combination of FOAF and C++. Imagine a combination of PGP and PNG. Think client-focused. Think end-to-end. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without CAD, you will lack ultra-ultra-efficient, wireless obfuscation reports. Microsoft has revamped the concept of re-sizing. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The aptitude to monetize proactively leads to the capacity to strategize extensibly. Without e-tailers, you will lack killer, enterprise convergence. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not granular. It seems amazing, but it's entirely realistic! Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for dealing with emerging paradigms? Without adequate infrastructures, media sourcing are forced to become proactive. We will engineer the capacity of systems to incubate. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Python. At Microsoft, we believe we know how to morph compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Unix. Our reality-based feature set is second to none, but our out-of-the-box bandwidth and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will leverage the standard industry buzzword "real-time, out-of-the-box". The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Without meticulously-planned infrastructures, synergies are forced to become long-term. A company that can repurpose easily will (one day) be able to upgrade defiantly. Imagine a combination of CSS and XML. Our functionality is second to none, but our bleeding-edge mega-structuring and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the buzzword "TQC" really mean? The capability to target mega-intuitively leads to the capacity to evolve seamlessly. We often innovate next-generation research and development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market!