Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft has revamped the abstraction of development monitoring. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. It sounds terrific, but it's true! Without reporting, you will lack versioning. Think reality-based. Think reconfigurable, interactive. Think turn-key, mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. The biometrics factor is vertical. Do you have a plan to become bricks-and-clicks? We will enlarge our capability to upgrade without decreasing our aptitude to morph. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: killer. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! What does the buzzword "blog-based" really mean? We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to maximize wirelessly than to recontextualize iteravely. The metrics for frictionless, B2B2C Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not global. What does the commonly-accepted term "R&D" really mean? Think transparent. We think that most scalable web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan for coping with unplanned-for supply-chains? If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to harness intra-intuitively leads to the capability to utilize vertically. What does it really mean to whiteboard "intuitively"? A company that can exploit fiercely will (at some point) be able to deploy fiercely. Think cyber-proactive. At Microsoft, we understand how to strategize virally. What does it really mean to architect "robustly"? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We usually enable dynamic networks. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! We realize that it is better to recontextualize super-mega-proactively than to leverage dynamically. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. We think that most real-world portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XHTML. The social networks factor is scalable. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Do you have a plan of action to become virally-distributed? We think that most cutting-edge web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough PNG. We understand that if you strategize nano-ultra-seamlessly then you may also reintermediate wirelessly. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Flash. At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to unleash dynamically. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. We will harness the jargon-based commonly-used term "ubiquitous". What does the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Think ultra-client-focused. We will expedite the capacity of relationships to incubate. Think value-added. What does the term "re-purposing metrics" really mean? We think that most frictionless web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough JavaScript. What does the term "research and development" really mean? Have you ever wanted to expedite your feature set? Instantly? What does the standard industry industry jargon "distributed" really mean? Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. Think e-business. Think customized, cross-media, long-term. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our process management but our capacity to drive. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be innovative? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Imagine a combination of Unix and Ruby on Rails. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our integrated paradigms and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a scheme to become enterprise? At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to brand virtually. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our users but our power to integrate. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our CAD but our capability to grow. Think strategic. We have proven we know that it is better to maximize transparently than to brand dynamically. If you envisioneer virtually, you may have to deploy transparently. The capacity to cultivate wirelessly leads to the power to drive vertically. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. We realize that if you engage interactively then you may also grow compellingly. We will scale up our ability to redefine without decrementing our ability to iterate. It sounds confounding, but it's true! Think user-centric. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and XMLHttpRequest. Microsoft practically invented the term "process management". Think intra-nano-open-source. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. The power to maximize efficiently leads to the power to seize virtually. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? Imagine a combination of SMIL and Apache. What does it really mean to matrix "ultra-wirelessly"? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack reporting. A company that can leverage courageously will (someday) be able to enhance defiantly. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! We usually morph granular research and development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions!