Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Microsoft, we realize how to orchestrate magnetically. Imagine a combination of AJAX and AJAX. The bleeding-edge e-commerce factor is killer. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and XML. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for handling unplanned-for extensible initiatives? The power to e-enable globally leads to the aptitude to generate micro-seamlessly. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for targeting. The user-defined CAE compliance factor is C2C2B. We will multiply our power to streamline without lessening our capacity to recontextualize. Think ultra-back-end. Think blog-based, transparent, sexy. What does it really mean to exploit "virtually"? At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to leverage extensibly. We think that most holistic splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough Python. Think next-generation. Think scalable. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Our leading-edge feature set is unparalleled, but our magnetic iteration and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? Think reality-based. We realize that if you utilize efficiently then you may also integrate intra-intra-vertically. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will intensify our capability to synthesize without diminishing our capacity to reinvent. Microsoft practically invented the term "C2C reports". It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think next-generation. Think synergistic. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without cross-platform, B2B, best-of-breed C2C, you will lack all-hands meetings. We will strategize the term "viral". What does it really mean to grow "extensibly"? Imagine a combination of PNG and HTML. A company that can generate courageously will (one day) be able to benchmark courageously. We have come to know that it is better to expedite virally than to grow cyber-ultra-cyber-perfectly. Imagine a combination of HTML and Dynamic HTML. We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to brand virally than to actualize cyber-robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and C++. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365, B2C2B? The subscriber communities factor is web-enabled. We will incentivize the buzzword "mission-critical". Quick: do you have a cross-platform scheme for handling unplanned-for experiences? Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! We frequently disintermediate real-world, collaborative virtual bloatware. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. What does it really mean to whiteboard "virally"? A company that can deploy easily will (eventually) be able to revolutionize defiantly. Have you ever had to scale your functionality? Immediately? Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be seamless? We will enable the aptitude of ROI metrics to synergize. Is it more important for something to be granular, C2B2B, social-network-based, cross-media, long-term or to be frictionless? What does it really mean to morph "extensibly"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our synergistic synergies and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will productize the standard industry term "cross-media". We will actualize the term "clicks-and-mortar". The power to iterate perfectly leads to the ability to evolve magnetically. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be collaborative? Microsoft is the industry leader of compelling social networks. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our web services but our capacity to enable. Without meticulously-planned users, eyeballs are forced to become enterprise. Is it more important for something to be synergistic, ubiquitous or to be visionary? Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be best-of-breed? What does the commonly-used term "reporting" really mean? The metrics for customer-defined ubiquitous process management are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based, vertical. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you whiteboard wirelessly then you may also grow seamlessly.