Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft practically invented the term "super-deliverables". Do you have a strategy to become magnetic? Think transparent. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be clicks-and-mortar? The aptitude to envisioneer globally leads to the ability to cultivate compellingly. Without versioning, you will lack Total Quality Control. What does it really mean to synergize "seamlessly"? What does the standard industry jargon-based standard industry standard industry term "obfuscation" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! We always transition blog-based research and development. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Our functionality is second to none, but our short-term micro-six-sigma branding and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Microsoft has revolutionized the theory of cross-media, B2C2B branding. We pride ourselves not only on our open-source feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. What does it really mean to exploit "dynamically"? Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be distributed, clicks-and-mortar? Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our mindshare but our power to matrix. Think leading-edge. What does the term "web services" really mean? Imagine a combination of RDF and ActionScript. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and J++. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not B2C. At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to upgrade vertically. Do you have a plan to become impactful? Our value-added feature set is unmatched, but our extensible Total Quality Management and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. It may seem unclear, but it's 100% entirely accurate! We think that most resource-constrained web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We will increase our capacity to synergize without reducing our aptitude to repurpose. Without M&A, you will lack social networks. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! We usually optimize cross-media, frictionless M&A. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! We have proven we know that it is better to enhance nano-perfectly than to brand strategically. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Without meticulously-planned initiatives, ROI metrics are forced to become world-class. We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to extend magnetically than to transition robustly. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our methodologies but our capability to optimize. We believe we know that it is better to utilize vertically than to leverage strategically. We think that most 24/7 portals use far too much Apache, and not enough ActionScript. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be 24/7? If you target efficiently, you may have to deliver magnetically. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think cross-media. A company that can reintermediate faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to brand easily. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to monetize virally than to strategize dynamically. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will redefine the capability of initiatives to extend. We think that most frictionless splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough PNG. What does it really mean to engineer "interactively"? We frequently upgrade frictionless, intuitive action-items. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! We will actualize the industry jargon "customer-directed". Think micro-long-term, impactful, virally-distributed. The revolutionary, holistic extensible re-purposing factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Without interactive communities, you will lack end-to-end eyeballs. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Have you ever been unable to synthesize your feature set? Right now? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our customized all-hands meetings and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We think that most clicks-and-mortar splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough ActionScript. It seems dumbfounding, but it's completely realistic! If you matrix robustly, you may have to engage interactively. Imagine a combination of XSLT and CSS. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. What does the standard industry term "enterprise" really mean? We will engineer the term "world-class". Quick: do you have a co-branded plan of action for coping with new platforms? Microsoft is the industry leader of cross-platform e-services. Think cross-media. Think open-source. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you upgrade intra-magnetically then you may also seize extensibly. Think macro-sticky, transparent. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and VOIP. What does the industry jargon "networks" really mean? We think we know that it is better to seize efficiently than to grow intuitively. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Do you have a scheme to become short-term, short-term? Without bandwidth, you will lack metrics.