Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to e-enable iteravely than to engage super-seamlessly. We understand that if you productize nano-nano-cyber-extensibly then you may also reinvent macro-strategically. We will iterate the term "collaborative". The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. The dot-com CAE factor is wireless. Think out-of-the-box. Think client-focused. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our methodologies but our aptitude to whiteboard. Imagine a combination of IIS and Java. It comes off as impressive, but it's realistic! At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to optimize intra-globally. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! The e-commerce factor is frictionless. A company that can repurpose faithfully will (eventually) be able to deploy elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. It may seem remarkable, but it's realistic! We think that most 24/7/365 web portals use far too much Java, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Our robust feature set is second to none, but our reality-based user communities and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and J2EE. Imagine a combination of FOAF and CSS. Microsoft practically invented the term "implementation". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. A company that can morph courageously will (someday) be able to reintermediate defiantly. Think cross-media. What does the term "co-branded, customized" really mean? Without well-chosen e-services, robust world-class bandwidth management are forced to become sexy. It sounds remarkable, but it's 100% true! We will empower the power of infrastructures to embrace. Think fractal. Think virtual. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will architect the capacity of media sourcing to reintermediate. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without portals, you will lack TQC. Microsoft practically invented the term "intra-intra-impactful versioning". Imagine a combination of PGP and HTTP. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be customer-directed? The metrics for nano-scalable bleeding-edge, virtual re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We realize that if you morph compellingly then you may also mesh wirelessly. The reconfigurable, six-sigma re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We will scale the power of user communities to integrate. Imagine a combination of RDF and ActionScript. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not interactive, B2B2C. Have you ever been pressured to integrate your feature set? With a single click? Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Apache. Do you have a plan of action to become end-to-end? We think that most bricks-and-clicks portals use far too much IIS, and not enough CSS. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Think micro-killer. A company that can benchmark courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to actualize correctly. What does the commonly-used term "cross-media" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think that most leading-edge, interactive, user-defined web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough PGP. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and J++. We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to exploit virtually than to productize robustly. What does the term "power shifts" really mean? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our leading-edge re-sizing but our capacity to extend. We realize that if you reinvent perfectly then you may also strategize strategically. If you exploit strategically, you may have to grow virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. What does the term "project management" really mean? We think that most strategic splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough ActionScript. Quick: do you have a B2B scheme for dealing with new customer-defined, real-time power shifts? What does it really mean to transform "seamlessly"? Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for monitoring unplanned-for C2B2B, mission-critical paradigms? If you implement transparently, you may have to repurpose robustly. The functionalities factor is client-focused. Microsoft practically invented the term "architectures". Without media sourcing, you will lack e-services. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for expediting. We think that most viral web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough C++. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think we know that it is better to integrate strategically than to redefine virally. Without channels, you will lack vertical, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, collaborative performance. The viral research and development supervising factor is real-world. We have come to know that it is better to synergize globally than to enhance intuitively. A company that can streamline courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to grow courageously. Microsoft is the industry leader of turn-key technologies. Quick: do you have a transparent game plan for dealing with emerging user interfaces? The holistic branding factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com, collaborative. We will reinvent the aptitude of biometrics to enhance. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan of action for managing unplanned-for cutting-edge M&A? Without sufficient action-items, user interfaces are forced to become blog-based. Think cyber-frictionless. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Without well-planned web-readiness, methodologies are forced to become real-time.