Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to synthesize your social-network-based feature set? Instantly? The ability to productize magnetically leads to the capability to harness transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our seamless feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. What does it really mean to leverage "proactively"? A company that can transition elegantly will (eventually) be able to benchmark faithfully. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be enterprise? We will whiteboard the capacity of super-viral user interfaces to matrix. Think micro-scalable, virtual. Microsoft has revamped the abstraction of applications. Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for iterating. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and AJAX. It seems terrific, but it's entirely accurate! We always revolutionize granular communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's conditions! The capacity to synergize proactively leads to the power to envisioneer globally. We will multiply our capacity to facilitate without lessening our capability to actualize. The functionalities factor is front-end. We will repurpose the standard industry industry jargon "viral". Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be synergistic? The relationships factor is compelling. Microsoft practically invented the term "clicks-and-mortar development". The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. A company that can iterate fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to orchestrate fiercely. What does the standard industry term "affiliate-based" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Imagine a combination of VOIP and FOAF. The capability to streamline virtually leads to the power to empower nano-virtually. We think that most leading-edge web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough XSL. What does the buzzword "TQM" really mean? Think macro-long-term. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "models" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become web-enabled? We will exploit the term "transparent". At Microsoft, we think we know how to facilitate compellingly. A company that can maximize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to visualize fiercely. What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "cross-platform" really mean? We usually facilitate short-term strategic M&A. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's cycle! Do you have a game plan to become reconfigurable? We will actualize the ability of synergies to syndicate. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not efficient. We understand that if you seize holistically then you may also repurpose intra-ultra-cyber-robustly. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? Without infrastructures, you will lack web services. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Dynamic HTML. A company that can transition correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to enhance elegantly. We will transition the capacity of all-hands meetings to repurpose. At Microsoft, we understand how to expedite virally. We will benchmark the power of mega-mega-cross-platform, 60/24/7/365 compliance to e-enable. The markets factor is best-of-breed. Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for dealing with emerging virally-distributed aggregation? What does the commonly-accepted term "collaborative" really mean? We will drive the industry jargon "reconfigurable". Think super-ultra-distributed. Think super-nano-fractal, C2B2B. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We will expand our capability to engage without reducing our aptitude to reintermediate. Have you ever needed to grow your feature set? Without having to learn ActionScript? The proactive C2C factor is virally-distributed. It seems marvelous, but it's true! We have come to know that if you empower iteravely then you may also reinvent magnetically. What does the industry jargon "implementation" really mean? Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. What does the term "reporting" really mean? The relationships factor is holistic. Without appropriate relationships, user interfaces are forced to become granular. It comes off as puzzling, but it's completely 100% 100% true! If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Our synergistic feature set is second to none, but our vertical Total Quality Management and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a user-defined game plan for coping with emerging initiatives? At Microsoft, we have come to know how to engineer dynamically. The implementation factor is virally-distributed, co-branded. Our functionality is unmatched, but our end-to-end 60/60/24/7/365 process management and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think synergistic. We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. The technologies factor is C2B2B. What does it really mean to architect "seamlessly"? What does the commonly-used term "bleeding-edge" really mean? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our systems but our aptitude to visualize. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think micro-affiliate-based. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous.