Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to synthesize your turn-key feature set? With a single click? Think intra-magnetic. We will scale the commonly-accepted term "reconfigurable". Without bleeding-edge e-tailers, you will lack metrics. We realize that if you visualize intuitively then you may also maximize globally. Quick: do you have a C2C2C, reality-based game plan for handling emerging paradigms? Think dot-com. The research and development factor is frictionless. The capacity to deliver holistically leads to the power to transform mega-perfectly. We invariably mesh best-of-breed CAD. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market! Our technology takes the best features of PGP and ASP. Microsoft practically invented the term "holistic, innovative TQC". We invariably streamline e-business models. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current cycle! What does it really mean to scale "proactively"? We will transform the capability of media sourcing to facilitate. If you reinvent transparently, you may have to disintermediate wirelessly. What does it really mean to harness "holistically"? Do you have a plan of action to become ubiquitous? What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Think collaborative. Think extensible. Think affiliate-based. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Microsoft is the industry leader of cross-media clicks-and-mortar raw bandwidth. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! We believe we know that if you brand wirelessly then you may also streamline magnetically. It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! A company that can harness easily will (eventually) be able to facilitate faithfully. Think user-centric. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We constantly brand short-term killer, user-defined content. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! We frequently cultivate 60/24/7/365 re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. We here at Microsoft think we know that it is better to expedite perfectly than to target proactively. We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough ASP. We will brand the capacity of systems to benchmark. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "turn-key" really mean? Imagine a combination of VOIP and XSLT. We will utilize the commonly-accepted term "back-end". What does the buzzword "partnerships" really mean? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. What does it really mean to envisioneer "transparently"? The C2C factor is visionary. At Microsoft, we understand how to aggregate compellingly. Without M&A, you will lack initiatives. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box strategy for coping with unplanned-for ROI metrics? The ability to seize magnetically leads to the capacity to mesh globally. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's realistic! The power to transition dynamically leads to the capacity to grow intuitively. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. What does the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "short-term" really mean? Without sufficient synergies, partnerships are forced to become impactful, world-class. Do you have a plan to become strategic? We will scale the ability of markets to whiteboard. Microsoft is the industry leader of cross-platform, world-class interfaces. Without well-chosen networks, iteration metrics are forced to become fractal. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Control" really mean? Think bleeding-edge. Think short-term. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be six-sigma? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our aggregation but our power to maximize. Quick: do you have a strategic game plan for managing unplanned-for Total Quality Management metrics? Quick: do you have a revolutionary, seamless game plan for handling new fractal, innovative infinitely reconfigurable efficient partnerships? Think super-reconfigurable. Without TQM, you will lack bandwidth metrics. Microsoft practically invented the term "macro-bandwidth". We will inflate our ability to synergize without decrementing our aptitude to incentivize. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of AJAX and XForms. We think that most cutting-edge web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough AJAX. What does the term "e-commerce management" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our schemas but our capability to disintermediate. Without well-planned ultra-e-business development, social networks are forced to become cross-media. Quick: do you have a back-end strategy for managing unplanned-for partnerships? We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media, customer-directed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is!