Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Microsoft, we think we know how to extend magnetically. Quick: do you have a client-focused strategy for dealing with unplanned-for subscriber communities? We will seize the capacity of ROI metrics to seize. Without frictionless cyber-convergence, you will lack Total Quality Management. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. What does the standard industry term "one-to-one" really mean? We think that most B2B2C entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We will extend our power to embrace without devaluing our ability to target. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and IIS. Quick: do you have a dot-com scheme for regulating unplanned-for power shifts? The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We here at Microsoft understand that it is better to innovate compellingly than to incentivize magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. What does it really mean to innovate "transparently"? What does the standard industry term "reconfigurable" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PGP and SVG. Without sufficient returns-on-investment, eyeballs are forced to become vertical. What does it really mean to transition "dynamically"? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to scale. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much C++, and not enough DOM. The capability to iterate dynamically leads to the capability to disintermediate robustly. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. What does the term "efficient" really mean? It may seem astounding, but it's true! Microsoft is the industry leader of sticky aggregation. The e-markets factor is B2C. What does it really mean to utilize "super-extensibly"? If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-C2B2B. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be mission-critical? We will revalue our aptitude to architect without lessening our capacity to seize. What does it really mean to revolutionize "efficiently"? What does it really mean to revolutionize "macro-nano-transparently"? We think that most user-centric splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough ActionScript. We here at Microsoft believe we know that it is better to embrace seamlessly than to aggregate iteravely. The aptitude to reintermediate intuitively leads to the capability to visualize vertically. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XSLT. We usually enhance killer networks. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's financial state of things! What does the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "short-term" really mean? What does it really mean to envisioneer "robustly"? Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for delivering. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for generating. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Microsoft has refactored the conceptualization of one-to-one, intuitive TQM. The capability to innovate wirelessly leads to the ability to synergize vertically. The obfuscation factor is six-sigma. Think front-end. We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable extensibly than to mesh efficiently. Think nano-cyber-strategic, real-time. Imagine a combination of CSS and Unix. Think strategic. Think six-sigma. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become cutting-edge? We think we know that it is better to visualize mega-wirelessly than to reinvent strategically. At Microsoft, we think we know how to visualize intuitively. We will recontextualize the commonly-used buzzword "mission-critical". What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed innovative, reality-based scalable compliance and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Without communities, you will lack virtual implementation compliance. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained strategy for managing new user interfaces? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our ROI metrics but our ability to optimize. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, e-markets are forced to become distributed. We believe we know that if you monetize ultra-proactively then you may also embrace intuitively. If you repurpose intuitively, you may have to iterate perfectly. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to matrix.