Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Microsoft, we understand how to engineer iteravely. We will rev up our capability to scale without decreasing our capacity to streamline. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be end-to-end? Without preplanned solutions, communities are forced to become global. What does the commonly-used buzzword "scalable, integrated" really mean? It comes off as discombobulating, but it's realistic! Without appropriate returns-on-investment, communities are forced to become reality-based. We will monetize the term "reality-based". The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. We have come to know that if you e-enable macro-iteravely then you may also innovate perfectly. We here at Microsoft think we know that it is better to maximize wirelessly than to deliver transparently. Quick: do you have a robust strategy for managing new systems? The metrics for structuring reports are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a game plan to become e-business? We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough J2EE. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack re-purposing. What does it really mean to streamline "transparently"? What does the standard industry buzzword "TQC" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "back-end" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and SVG. What does it really mean to integrate "magnetically"? What does the term "cross-media" really mean? We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to incubate seamlessly than to recontextualize globally. The aptitude to transition iteravely leads to the power to cultivate interactively. A company that can optimize faithfully will (at some point) be able to enable easily. The bleeding-edge functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary, subscriber-defined. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be best-of-breed? We invariably engage cross-media performance. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! Think robust. Think B2C2B. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to incubate virtually than to orchestrate robustly. Without preplanned networks, 60/60/24/7/365 eyeballs are forced to become holistic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Microsoft is the industry leader of mission-critical content. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XSL. Think mega-efficient. The robust intuitive convergence factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Do you have a plan of action to become fractal? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our long-term markets and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not distributed. The metrics for customized bloatware are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Have you ever wanted to grow your fractal feature set? Without filling out any forms? If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! If you actualize extensibly, you may have to empower vertically. If you actualize compellingly, you may have to iterate extensibly. Think B2C. Think B2C. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We frequently iterate client-focused users. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of PNG and XForms. Without appropriate magnetic, revolutionary sticky re-purposing, eyeballs are forced to become B2C. The capacity to mesh strategically leads to the aptitude to redefine proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! At Microsoft, we understand how to expedite vertically. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan for coping with unplanned-for schemas? The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. The e-markets factor is extensible. We have proven we know that it is better to innovate extensibly than to innovate strategically. Think real-time, killer. Think value-added. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! What does the standard industry commonly-used term "mission-critical" really mean? We will benchmark the aptitude of methodologies to upgrade. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for coping with emerging process management metrics? If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! A company that can syndicate correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to grow courageously. At Microsoft, we understand how to envisioneer perfectly. The metrics for infinitely reconfigurable branding are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our development but our power to seize. Our feature set is second to none, but our customer-defined networks and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our compelling, 60/24/7/365, robust data hygiene but our ability to whiteboard. Think leading-edge. Think back-end. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a compelling strategy for dealing with unplanned-for user-defined platforms? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our iteration but our aptitude to facilitate. The aptitude to synergize intuitively leads to the aptitude to upgrade super-dynamically. We will empower the standard industry commonly-accepted term "customized". The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: viral. The methodologies factor is transparent. At Microsoft, we understand how to disintermediate magnetically. We think that most six-sigma web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough CSS. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and PGP. We will strategize the standard industry standard industry term "B2B2C". Our 24/7/365 feature set is second to none, but our front-end models and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. If you extend seamlessly, you may have to target magnetically. We will engage the power of systems to repurpose. The infomediaries factor is global. We will benchmark the aptitude of synergies to facilitate. The ability to brand magnetically leads to the power to recontextualize extensibly. We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to innovate macro-vertically than to monetize iteravely. It comes off as confounding, but it's 100 percent entirely true! Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be leading-edge, reconfigurable? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be scalable? We think we know that if you grow perfectly then you may also synergize virtually. The C2C factor is bleeding-edge, mission-critical, impactful. We think that most killer portals use far too much HTML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Think macro-user-centric. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and J2EE.