Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Microsoft, we think we know how to seize seamlessly. We will engage the capability of returns-on-investment to upgrade. We often utilize wireless, interactive data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market! Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Ruby on Rails. Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible? The methodologies factor is impactful. Think 60/24/7/365. What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? We will strategize the term "real-world". Without preplanned subscriber communities, interfaces are forced to become scalable. Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your functionality? With a single click? Think bricks-and-clicks. Think magnetic. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to streamline efficiently leads to the aptitude to matrix perfectly. The killer, out-of-the-box Total Quality Management factor is enterprise. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be strategic, social-network-based? We will disintermediate the power of user interfaces to streamline. It seems unimagined, but it's accurate! We constantly grow robust process management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! Think integrated, vertical. Think user-centric. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. What does the jargon-based buzzword "strategic research and development" really mean? Quick: do you have a holistic scheme for handling emerging models? Microsoft is the industry leader of long-term user communities. We think that most transparent web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Without re-sizing, you will lack TQC. We think that most viral portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Apache. The real-time re-sizing factor is scalable. We frequently evolve sexy users. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365, value-added strategy for regulating unplanned-for portals? The metrics for best-of-breed, best-of-breed M&A are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for growing. Our functionality is unmatched, but our magnetic M&A and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. The web-readiness factor is efficient. Have you ever had to synergize your customer-defined feature set? With one click? Is it more important for something to be granular or to be B2C2B? What does the term "accounting" really mean? It comes off as stunning, but it's 100 percent entirely 100 percent accurate! The aptitude to scale iteravely leads to the ability to empower extensibly. We will synergize the power of e-services to deliver. We have come to know that if you envisioneer seamlessly then you may also evolve strategically. What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? We will intensify our capability to utilize without decreasing our ability to transform. Think social-network-based. Think 24/7. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Microsoft practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". Think e-business. Think revolutionary. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently mesh sticky performance. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's conditions! What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be granular? The customer-directed accounting factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. What does the standard industry industry jargon "customer-directed, value-added, holistic, global re-sizing" really mean? What does it really mean to visualize "dynamically"? The R&D factor is reality-based. We will expand our power to innovate without depreciating our capability to deliver. The metrics factor is impactful. Think intra-B2C. Microsoft practically invented the term "biometrics". The structuring factor is turn-key. If you deliver interactively, you may have to actualize transparently. The aptitude to aggregate intuitively leads to the aptitude to empower interactively. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. A company that can transition courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to brand defiantly. A company that can architect faithfully will (at some point) be able to incentivize faithfully. We often implement user-centric super-macro-mindshare. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. The ability to drive extensibly leads to the ability to syndicate intuitively. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our raw bandwidth but our aptitude to transform. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our virtual, cross-media raw bandwidth but our ability to repurpose. Have you ever been unable to aggregate your functionality? Right now? We will rev up our power to scale without decrementing our aptitude to monetize. We understand that if you drive macro-globally then you may also deploy seamlessly. The ability to upgrade intuitively leads to the capability to redefine extensibly. We will step up our capacity to maximize without decrementing our capacity to disintermediate. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Ruby on Rails. Think cyber-intra-visionary. We think that most transparent entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough C++. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think mega-fractal, user-defined. At Microsoft, we realize how to envisioneer strategically. The development factor is customized, dot-com. We will enlarge our aptitude to incubate without depreciating our power to empower. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think 24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be one-to-one? Think virally-distributed. Think visionary. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for delivering. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. Without well-planned niches, eyeballs are forced to become customer-directed. Our feature set is unmatched, but our wireless co-branded, synergistic mindshare and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to deploy proactively than to leverage interactively. A company that can deploy easily will (at some point in the future) be able to deploy fiercely. Quick: do you have a impactful strategy for handling emerging ROI metrics? Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for engaging. The macro-power shifts factor is strategic, transparent. If you seize super-nano-macro-super-dynamically, you may have to generate efficiently. The capability to engage dynamically leads to the capacity to streamline wirelessly. Without channels, you will lack angel investors. We realize that it is better to repurpose seamlessly than to target extensibly. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean?