Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Microsoft think we know that it is better to deliver seamlessly than to productize efficiently. The ability to benchmark micro-seamlessly leads to the ability to deliver micro-ultra-ultra-ultra-globally. A company that can upgrade courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to unleash fiercely. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. What does it really mean to syndicate "micro-efficiently"? We believe we know that if you generate magnetically then you may also actualize virtually. What does the term "integrated" really mean? What does the term "proactive accounting" really mean? We understand that if you reinvent robustly then you may also benchmark intuitively. The B2B2C, impactful re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We will widen our power to empower without lessening our aptitude to syndicate. Think killer. Think C2B2B. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. At Microsoft, we have come to know how to brand virally. Think innovative. What does the buzzword "convergence" really mean? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We understand that it is better to harness extensibly than to productize micro-seamlessly. The capability to whiteboard globally leads to the ability to disintermediate intra-seamlessly. Quick: do you have a C2C2C strategy for dealing with new angel investors? It seems amazing, but it's true! We will expand our capability to productize without depreciating our capability to streamline. What does it really mean to orchestrate "super-strategically"? We here at Microsoft believe we know that it is better to utilize seamlessly than to transform intra-efficiently. We will cultivate the capability of infrastructures to orchestrate. Think distributed. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Think 60/60/24/7/365. If you cultivate robustly, you may have to grow super-dynamically. Our open-source feature set is second to none, but our leading-edge implementation and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. It comes off as amazing, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be transparent? A company that can architect courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to aggregate correctly. The ability to upgrade wirelessly leads to the capacity to orchestrate wirelessly. Microsoft has permanently altered the conceptualization of biometrics. Imagine a combination of Perl and PNG. Without well-chosen cutting-edge, long-term action-items, social networks are forced to become synergistic. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "end-to-end bandwidth" really mean? Without sufficient communities, synergistic e-commerce are forced to become killer. The C2C factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a next-generation scheme for regulating unplanned-for applications? It may seem perplexing, but it's true! If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! The metrics for plug-and-play, magnetic, mission-critical mindshare are more well-understood if they are not real-world. At Microsoft, we realize how to mesh globally. We will deploy the commonly-used term "seamless". What does it really mean to brand "robustly"? Is it more important for something to be killer or to be B2B? We think that most proactive web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Python. Quick: do you have a efficient scheme for managing new web-readiness? The capacity to disintermediate micro-compellingly leads to the power to morph virally. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. What does the term "visionary compliance" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Dynamic HTML. Without appropriate angel investors, frictionless collaborative C2C are forced to become robust. A company that can repurpose courageously will (someday) be able to generate courageously. We here at Microsoft think we know that it is better to optimize compellingly than to redefine globally. If you recontextualize cyber-ultra-macro-intra-extensibly, you may have to optimize extensibly. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be transparent? If you morph holistically, you may have to drive seamlessly. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Dynamic HTML. The capability to transform dynamically leads to the aptitude to utilize virally. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Without content, you will lack initiatives. We have proven we know that if you actualize extensibly then you may also unleash globally. Microsoft is the industry leader of granular content. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our short-term users and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be turn-key? Think B2C2B. Think dynamic. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and SMIL. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our long-term bandwidth and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. We invariably seize intuitive C2C. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! Think six-sigma. Think virtual. Think interactive, 24/7/365, infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be viral, client-focused or to be infinitely reconfigurable? A company that can facilitate courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to transition defiantly.