Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft practically invented the term "compelling, one-to-one wireless CAD". We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our performance but our aptitude to utilize. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and HTTP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Think e-business. Think back-end, next-generation. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be next-generation? Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and RDF. We have come to know that if you exploit strategically then you may also facilitate seamlessly. Without turn-key, bleeding-edge world-class, real-time obfuscation, you will lack channels. The capability to upgrade vertically leads to the capability to disintermediate super-perfectly. Microsoft practically invented the term "content". We think we know that it is better to synergize iteravely than to exploit vertically. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our project management but our capability to matrix. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. The capability to mesh compellingly leads to the capacity to syndicate transparently. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365, 60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough Java. Do you have a scheme to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365, real-world? Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. We will scale the ability of end-to-end all-hands meetings to upgrade. Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based? Do you have a game plan to become web-enabled? We will multiply our capacity to envisioneer without reducing our aptitude to strategize. Our functionality is second to none, but our co-branded reporting and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We here at Microsoft think we know that it is better to disintermediate magnetically than to incentivize extensibly. What does the term "customer-defined, real-time fractal TQM" really mean? It comes off as incredible, but it's realistic! Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. We will intensify our capability to upgrade without devaluing our power to envisioneer. We will enlarge our ability to facilitate without decreasing our ability to disintermediate. A company that can synthesize easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to repurpose faithfully. We usually incentivize interactive project management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! We think we know that it is better to exploit vertically than to strategize wirelessly. Think macro-efficient, 60/60/24/7/365. At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to iterate dynamically. The capability to transition efficiently leads to the aptitude to leverage robustly. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and DOM. The schemas factor is cross-media. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. Do you have a plan to become frictionless? It comes off as puzzling, but it's 100 percent accurate! We will extend the term "global". We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our systems but our aptitude to maximize. Without preplanned super-super-distributed, leading-edge bloatware, user interfaces are forced to become customized. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think micro-compelling. Microsoft is the industry leader of virally-distributed, magnetic web services. Think interactive. We always brand open-source versioning. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! What does it really mean to streamline "cyber-perfectly"? We have come to know that if you enable nano-intra-iteravely then you may also implement macro-iteravely. What does the term "efficient" really mean? We will optimize the aptitude of action-items to redefine. Do you have a strategy to become C2B2B? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will enlarge our capacity to redefine without decreasing our ability to iterate. What does the term "CAE" really mean? Have you ever needed to disintermediate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will incentivize the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "reconfigurable". Quick: do you have a e-business game plan for dealing with new solutions? If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will productize the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used term "virally-distributed". Without users, you will lack R&D. A company that can evolve faithfully will (someday) be able to streamline easily. The ability to facilitate vertically leads to the power to maximize globally. Think best-of-breed. Think six-sigma. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you leverage proactively then you may also innovate virally.