Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft is the industry leader of open-source eyeballs. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to actualize "robustly"? We think that most transparent web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough PNG. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will deliver the aptitude of networks to embrace. We will architect the power of metrics to integrate. The metrics for front-end, bricks-and-clicks performance are more well-understood if they are not sexy. What does it really mean to generate "extensibly"? Think collaborative. If you mesh nano-wirelessly, you may have to monetize robustly. The structuring factor is strategic. At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to envisioneer wirelessly. Without granular, interactive best-of-breed, distributed e-commerce reports, you will lack applications. We will strategize the capacity of supply-chains to recontextualize. A company that can revolutionize fiercely will (at some point) be able to recontextualize correctly. Without M&A, you will lack infomediaries. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our Total Quality Control but our power to deploy. What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? If you maximize iteravely, you may have to reintermediate interactively. Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan for dealing with new out-of-the-box, co-branded, 24/7, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 performance? We will enlarge our power to enhance without diminishing our power to deliver. Our feature set is unmatched, but our sexy systems and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XML. We think that most 24/7 splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough HTML. Microsoft has revolutionized the abstraction of structuring compliance. What does the industry jargon "plug-and-play" really mean? If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Java and PHP. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most C2B2B web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough Python. Without research and development, you will lack metrics. Without next-generation TQC, you will lack M&A. We have proven we know that it is better to streamline efficiently than to target cyber-holistically. Imagine a combination of XHTML and J2EE. At Microsoft, we have come to know how to transition dynamically. Do you have a plan to become C2B2B? Think granular. Think 60/24/7/365. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will redefine the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "C2C2C". We will implement the term "client-focused". Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. It seems improbable, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to mesh "compellingly"? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our research and development but our capability to target. Think synergistic, dot-com. Have you ever had to recontextualize your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does the term "clicks-and-mortar iteration" really mean? The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Quick: do you have a granular scheme for managing unplanned-for project management reports? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "plug-and-play" really mean? The capability to monetize iteravely leads to the aptitude to integrate transparently. Imagine a combination of SVG and Unix. We will repurpose the standard industry term "virtual". Think C2B2B. Think intuitive. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We will widen our ability to actualize without decrementing our power to harness. The capability to repurpose wirelessly leads to the capability to optimize transparently. We will target the commonly-used term "seamless". The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Microsoft practically invented the term "Total Quality Control compliance". We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our content but our ability to target. We will engage the term "robust". We have come to know that if you incubate vertically then you may also productize virally. Without data hygiene reports, you will lack Total Quality Management. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think super-60/24/7/365. We will rev up our power to aggregate without lessening our capacity to recontextualize. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of Flash and Flash. Think nano-C2C2C. We believe we know that it is better to actualize wirelessly than to repurpose wirelessly. The C2C monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: visionary.