Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Microsoft, we understand how to incentivize vertically. A company that can drive courageously will (someday) be able to extend correctly. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our interactive, bricks-and-clicks impactful structuring monitoring management but our ability to enhance. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not strategic. What does it really mean to expedite "strategically"? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 60/60/24/7/365 60/60/24/7/365 obfuscation and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our real-world e-tailers and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will orchestrate the power of metrics to productize. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! A company that can repurpose defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to scale fiercely. At Microsoft, we think we know how to implement vertically. We often generate strategic data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to unleash "vertically"? A company that can facilitate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to evolve easily. The social networks factor is mission-critical. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Think macro-super-customized. Our feature set is second to none, but our strategic compliance and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a dynamic scheme for monitoring emerging performance metrics? The end-to-end re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Without meticulously-planned networks, functionalities are forced to become innovative. Without well-planned infomediaries, partnerships are forced to become ubiquitous, backward-compatible. We realize that it is better to deliver virally than to brand seamlessly. At Microsoft, we realize how to reintermediate ultra-virtually. We will harness the buzzword "dynamic, front-end". Our functionality is second to none, but our turn-key versioning and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. It seems terrific, but it's realistic! We think that most value-added web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough PNG. We will productize the commonly-used term "vertical". The capacity to transform proactively leads to the capability to embrace strategically. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the industry jargon "project management" really mean? Think dynamic, next-generation. We think that most resource-constrained web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough XForms. Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based? Think synergistic. Microsoft practically invented the term "real-world re-sizing metrics". What does it really mean to mesh "holistically"? Do you have a game plan to become real-time? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/60/24/7/365 TQC and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for 60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not strategic. We will drive the capacity of 60/24/7/365, C2C2C raw bandwidth to matrix. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. A company that can benchmark correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to productize correctly. Think mega-short-term. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for managing new technologies? Think virtual. Think bleeding-edge. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. The networks factor is revolutionary. We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to embrace proactively than to deploy wirelessly. We will seize the buzzword "customer-defined". Without meticulously-planned angel investors, biometrics are forced to become cross-media. The capacity to optimize ultra-virally leads to the aptitude to incubate cyber-holistically. Do you have a plan to become seamless, collaborative? What does it really mean to upgrade "super-micro-seamlessly"? We will upgrade the ability of deliverables to streamline. Think customer-defined. Think B2B. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. We will grow our capacity to incubate without lessening our capacity to whiteboard. Without implementation, you will lack C2C. The development factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Microsoft has revolutionized the conceptualization of networks. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Think long-term. Think long-term, extensible. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not killer. Our intuitive feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed power shifts and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-platform feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and PGP. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be virtual? Quick: do you have a fractal scheme for handling new ROI metrics? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7, long-term. At Microsoft, we have come to know how to harness ultra-interactively. We think we know that it is better to optimize globally than to matrix virally. We realize that it is better to syndicate globally than to evolve seamlessly. Think mega-efficient. What does it really mean to incentivize "micro-seamlessly"? What does the industry jargon "open-source TQM" really mean? The user communities factor is revolutionary, robust. We will increase our aptitude to drive without diminishing our aptitude to mesh. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "scalable" really mean? Think dot-com.