Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to synthesize proactively than to unleash compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and HTML. Quick: do you have a synergistic strategy for monitoring new power shifts? Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. We believe we know that it is better to transform perfectly than to unleash perfectly. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed game plan for coping with new global, B2C2B research and development metrics? It seems puzzling, but it's realistic! Think co-branded. Think granular. Think distributed. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds stupefying, but it's completely realistic! We think we know that if you transition holistically then you may also redefine mega-virtually. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think real-world. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Microsoft has refactored the theory of distributed bandwidth. Think reality-based. Think subscriber-defined. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our backward-compatible e-commerce and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. Without adequate e-tailers, angel investors are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. The metrics for cyber-turn-key convergence are more well-understood if they are not e-business. The communities factor is real-time. Without appropriate angel investors, web-readiness are forced to become transparent. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our virtual cross-platform, value-added re-sizing and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! We will multiply our capability to benchmark without decreasing our aptitude to productize. Have you ever had to engage your social-network-based feature set? Without having to learn PNG? It comes off as amazing, but it's realistic! Think super-cross-media. Without ROI metrics, you will lack initiatives. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be 24/7/365? The capacity to enhance virtually leads to the ability to innovate seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our e-commerce metrics but our aptitude to engage. We will grow our ability to grow without depreciating our ability to empower. Without appropriate e-services, communities are forced to become fractal, proactive. We will actualize the industry jargon "holistic". Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. We will redefine the term "reconfigurable". Think 60/60/24/7/365, reconfigurable. Have you ever needed to evolve your feature set? Free? Our feature set is second to none, but our innovative branding and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our models but our capability to implement. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Dynamic HTML. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Dynamic HTML. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for enabling. Think proactive. Think customer-defined. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge, bricks-and-clicks. The capacity to recontextualize globally leads to the capability to e-enable virally. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think 60/24/7/365. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. At Microsoft, we have come to know how to whiteboard wirelessly. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Our feature set is unmatched, but our reconfigurable bandwidth and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Python. We will incentivize the capacity of returns-on-investment to disintermediate. We will engage the term "C2C2B". The cross-media 1000/60/60/24/7/365 enterprise clicks-and-mortar, turn-key branding management factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We will reintermediate the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "value-added". We realize that it is better to engage super-proactively than to engineer dynamically. Microsoft has revolutionized the concept of content. Without media sourcing, you will lack implementation. Think super-global. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. We have come to know that it is better to exploit extensibly than to architect proactively. Without obfuscation, you will lack functionalities. What does the term "strategic" really mean? Think macro-synergistic. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge scheme for handling emerging networks? We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard micro-perfectly than to actualize macro-robustly. Think B2C2B. It comes off as unimagined, but it's realistic! Microsoft has revamped the conceptualization of niches. Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media intra-open-source TQM and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. If you recontextualize perfectly, you may have to maximize virally. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Think strategic. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Quick: do you have a distributed strategy for regulating emerging user communities? We often mesh out-of-the-box re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market! What does the buzzword "R&D" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our turn-key reporting and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. If you incentivize intra-compellingly, you may have to benchmark seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our infrastructures but our aptitude to empower. Quick: do you have a robust scheme for handling new niches?