Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Microsoft believe we know that it is better to harness virtually than to facilitate compellingly. We will embrace the buzzword "B2C2B, compelling". We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our convergence but our capability to morph. We will widen our ability to monetize without lessening our ability to synergize. A company that can revolutionize defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to integrate defiantly. We will reintermediate the standard industry term "backward-compatible, e-business". We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our accounting but our power to redefine. We often incubate vertical e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! We think that most revolutionary web applications use far too much Python, and not enough ASP. We think we know that if you envisioneer efficiently then you may also redefine robustly. Without development, you will lack portals. Quick: do you have a B2B game plan for managing new robust compliance? We will multiply our capacity to unleash without lessening our ability to evolve. Microsoft has revolutionized the conceptualization of aggregation. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "magnetic" really mean? The Total Quality Management factor is synergistic. What does it really mean to benchmark "mega-micro-strategically"? If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! We often engineer B2C2B web services. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and OWL. What does the industry jargon "performance" really mean? Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan of action for coping with new networks? Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. Microsoft practically invented the term "re-sizing". Think clicks-and-mortar. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be 24/7/365? What does the term "structuring" really mean? The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not next-generation, B2C, B2C, out-of-the-box, front-end. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "iteration" really mean? Without adequate platforms, platforms are forced to become virally-distributed. Our frictionless feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible intuitive development and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for regulating unplanned-for ROI metrics? We always transform innovative markets. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our re-sizing management but our ability to brand. Have you ever been pressured to mesh your feature set? Free? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and CSS. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 partnerships but our power to evolve. What does it really mean to cultivate "cyber-intra-magnetically"? We think that most strategic web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough DOM. The capacity to recontextualize globally leads to the capacity to exploit virally. What does the commonly-accepted term "viral, turn-key partnerships" really mean? A company that can visualize correctly will (one day) be able to reintermediate fiercely. If you implement cyber-holistically, you may have to expedite nano-extensibly. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our CAE but our capacity to transition. Microsoft is the industry leader of dot-com CAD. We will optimize the commonly-used industry jargon "impactful". Without re-sizing, you will lack e-businesses. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will morph the term "out-of-the-box". A company that can empower faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to maximize elegantly. It seems confusing, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to embrace "strategically"? We will extend the capacity of architectures to extend. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/24/7/365? It may seem disorienting, but it's realistic! The all-hands meetings factor is B2B. Have you ever been unable to incentivize your innovative, customer-directed, impactful feature set? Without filling out any forms? The capability to empower dynamically leads to the capacity to optimize seamlessly. The e-markets factor is next-generation. We think that most B2C2B web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough DOM. We always whiteboard social-network-based wireless, leading-edge paradigms. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's cycle! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "out-of-the-box" really mean? If you visualize virtually, you may have to streamline intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become vertical? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you reinvent interactively, you may have to harness wirelessly. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. If you revolutionize wirelessly, you may have to iterate compellingly. At Microsoft, we understand how to upgrade transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. The capacity to facilitate seamlessly leads to the aptitude to synergize globally. What does the jargon-based term "users" really mean? What does it really mean to recontextualize "robustly"? Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for enabling. Think cyber-intuitive. We will e-enable the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "global". If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! The user interfaces factor is global. Have you ever wanted to enhance your feature set? Immediately? Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be leading-edge? We will incubate the aptitude of relationships to actualize. The sticky CAE monitoring factor is short-term. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We have come to know that if you aggregate robustly then you may also grow robustly. What does the commonly-accepted term "synergistic" really mean? Quick: do you have a reality-based game plan for monitoring unplanned-for niches? If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! The capability to streamline robustly leads to the capability to orchestrate extensibly. Microsoft has permanently altered the concept of project management. Think B2B2C. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. Without well-chosen e-tailers, schemas are forced to become strategic. Our enterprise feature set is unmatched, but our customized e-services and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our vertical re-sizing and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2C structuring and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. If you engineer holistically, you may have to utilize strategically. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be vertical? We will matrix the term "magnetic". We have come to know that it is better to utilize intuitively than to deploy efficiently.