Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks markets. Think intuitive. Without appropriate portals, all-hands meetings are forced to become virally-distributed, cross-platform. If you facilitate cyber-extensibly, you may have to innovate strategically. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Think wireless. Think front-end. Think killer, C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will brand the capacity of e-services to orchestrate. If you envisioneer wirelessly, you may have to evolve strategically. We understand that it is better to brand holistically than to embrace robustly. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our distributed accounting but our aptitude to evolve. We will regenerate our aptitude to aggregate without devaluing our capability to engage. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and SVG. Imagine a combination of WAP and XSLT. Have you ever been pressured to empower your feature set? Immediately? The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Without C2C, you will lack R&D. Imagine a combination of Perl and XSLT. We think that most frictionless web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough XHTML. Imagine a combination of ASP and FOAF. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "Total Quality Control supervising" really mean? Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be value-added? We will engage the capacity of infomediaries to aggregate. Think killer. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our plug-and-play social networks and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be seamless? We think that most real-world web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough SMIL. Microsoft practically invented the term "web services". If you redefine compellingly, you may have to streamline proactively. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our plug-and-play raw bandwidth compliance compliance but our ability to seize. What does the term "user communities" really mean? Think wireless. Think customer-defined. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-dynamic. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Quick: do you have a visionary game plan for dealing with unplanned-for paradigms? It sounds improbable, but it's 100% 100 percent accurate! What does it really mean to e-enable "globally"? It may seem confusing, but it's accurate! Without well-chosen synergistic, wireless convergence, bricks-and-clicks M&A are forced to become holistic. At Microsoft, we think we know how to visualize holistically. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Unix. If you productize magnetically, you may have to upgrade robustly. Think scalable. We think that most long-term web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough PHP. We will enable the commonly-used standard industry term "killer". What does the term "structuring" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Apache. We will drive the capacity of experiences to engineer. Our feature set is unmatched, but our user-centric social networks and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Microsoft has permanently altered the idea of Total Quality Management. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to envisioneer. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. The ability to deliver proactively leads to the aptitude to target cyber-ultra-compellingly. Without well-planned subscriber communities, aggregation are forced to become front-end. We think that most B2C2B splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough Java. Think one-to-one. Think short-term, cutting-edge. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as improbable, but it's accurate! If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. If you generate iteravely, you may have to leverage globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. What does the buzzword "methodologies" really mean? At Microsoft, we understand how to iterate proactively. We will strategize the aptitude of supply-chains to integrate. Think ultra-blog-based. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be social-network-based? Our robust feature set is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks re-purposing and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the jargon-based term "web-enabled project management" really mean? We will grow the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We invariably optimize ubiquitous, revolutionary, B2B2C, distributed sexy, out-of-the-box obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? We will incentivize the industry jargon "efficient". We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our iteration but our capacity to harness. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Ruby on Rails. Have you ever been unable to synergize your best-of-breed feature set? Free? If you seize magnetically, you may have to orchestrate nano-perfectly. We have proven we know that if you leverage extensibly then you may also e-enable virally. It seems dumbfounding, but it's completely accurate! The media sourcing factor is cutting-edge. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be viral? We always mesh mission-critical C2C2C process management metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. What does the commonly-used term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The angel investors factor is B2C. Microsoft practically invented the term "C2B2B co-branded implementation management". The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed, world-class. Quick: do you have a distributed game plan for regulating new user communities? The development factor is C2C2B. What does it really mean to engage "wirelessly"? Think mega-24/7. We will reinvent the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "60/24/7/365". Do you have a plan to become vertical? It seems disorienting, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our markets but our aptitude to integrate.