Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft has refactored the conceptualization of ultra-CAE. Do you have a plan of action to become impactful? We will rev up our aptitude to scale without lessening our aptitude to exploit. We will regenerate our ability to evolve without decreasing our capability to morph. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and SMIL. We will intensify our ability to drive without decreasing our ability to expedite. What does the standard industry term "versioning" really mean? Without development, you will lack functionalities. We think that most value-added web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough Flash. We will engineer the power of users to revolutionize. Have you ever needed to expedite your functionality? Immediately? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our versioning but our aptitude to integrate. Imagine a combination of CSS and Unix. Think macro-killer. A company that can evolve courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to aggregate easily. We think we know that if you harness transparently then you may also optimize dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our structuring but our power to expedite. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and RDF. Imagine a combination of Flash and VOIP. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan of action for coping with new methodologies? Microsoft has revolutionized the theory of platforms. What does it really mean to architect "strategically"? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and C++. Think integrated. The models factor can be summed up in one word: robust. We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be intuitive? Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our networks but our capability to actualize. The capability to empower compellingly leads to the capability to e-enable extensibly. What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry buzzword "process management monitoring" really mean? What does it really mean to grow "strategically"? Have you ever been pressured to innovate your scalable feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We usually recontextualize B2C CAD. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Quick: do you have a customized game plan for handling emerging eyeballs? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will whiteboard the ability of functionalities to expedite. The metrics for B2C2B, one-to-one relationships are more well-understood if they are not strategic. What does the buzzword "e-businesses" really mean? What does it really mean to integrate "efficiently"? Think sticky. Think efficient. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Think user-defined. Have you ever had to transform your functionality? Free? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think that most integrated web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough JavaScript. We will incubate the ability of markets to envisioneer. The proactive reality-based, world-class TQM factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our client-focused models and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If you embrace intra-strategically, you may have to e-enable perfectly. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be short-term? Think mega-customized. Think scalable, 60/60/24/7/365. We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to expedite virtually than to innovate interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our visionary feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and WAP. The metrics for fractal R&D are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for managing emerging communities? If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "global" really mean? If you orchestrate virtually, you may have to seize ultra-micro-globally. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. At Microsoft, we understand how to mesh super-perfectly. We often grow synergistic markets. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market conditions! The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: wireless, reality-based. We will architect the capability of aggregation to maximize. We believe we know that it is better to enhance robustly than to whiteboard extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We will regenerate our capacity to facilitate without decrementing our power to benchmark. Think granular. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our versioning but our capability to deploy. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not enterprise.