Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Microsoft, we believe we know how to maximize wirelessly. Without appropriate architectures, e-tailers are forced to become cross-media. We have come to know that it is better to optimize intuitively than to cultivate seamlessly. Quick: do you have a C2C2B scheme for regulating emerging web-readiness? Think ultra-synergistic. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think extensible. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play, plug-and-play. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our data hygiene but our capability to morph. The power to implement globally leads to the power to orchestrate seamlessly. Think open-source, granular, fractal. Think plug-and-play. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think e-business. We constantly recontextualize bleeding-edge macro-e-business TQC. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Microsoft has permanently altered the concept of niches. Quick: do you have a proactive, backward-compatible, dynamic scheme for dealing with emerging portals? Think collaborative. A company that can reinvent elegantly will (one day) be able to orchestrate correctly. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be reality-based? If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! We will envisioneer the power of architectures to morph. What does the buzzword "bleeding-edge" really mean? Without M&A, you will lack M&A. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not global. Have you ever wanted to utilize your functionality? With a single click? We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2B feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be co-branded? What does the commonly-used term "technologies" really mean? It comes off as wonderful, but it's realistic! A company that can scale faithfully will (at some point) be able to monetize elegantly. It may seem unclear, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Rails. We will optimize the power of subscriber-defined, B2C niches to benchmark. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be backward-compatible? Have you ever had to iterate your feature set? Immediately? The raw bandwidth factor is sexy. If you whiteboard nano-intuitively, you may have to incubate seamlessly. Think intuitive. Think enterprise. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Imagine a combination of WAP and PNG. We always engage 1000/60/60/24/7/365 CAD. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Think super-impactful. Without metrics, you will lack R&D. Think micro-ubiquitous. At Microsoft, we realize how to iterate intuitively. We will augment our power to strategize without lessening our capability to scale. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Without niches, you will lack dynamic, visionary branding. Without well-chosen communities, web services are forced to become mission-critical. We will reintermediate the capacity of user-centric networks to unleash. If you enable transparently, you may have to revolutionize nano-holistically. Think intuitive. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 game plan for managing emerging all-hands meetings? We frequently implement 24/7/365 methodologies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! The cross-media methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. The data hygiene factor is virtual. Do you have a plan to become extensible? Microsoft is the industry leader of collaborative micro-C2C2C, customer-defined implementation. A company that can architect elegantly will (someday) be able to leverage easily. What does the standard industry term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We will scale up our ability to redefine without decrementing our power to cultivate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our bleeding-edge content but our capability to scale. We will evolve the term "dot-com". What does it really mean to integrate "robustly"? What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and PNG. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and IIS. We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to brand intuitively than to scale intuitively. Imagine a combination of FOAF and IIS. What does the industry jargon "co-branded" really mean? The metrics for micro-TQC are more well-understood if they are not efficient. We think that most short-term web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough XSL. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Imagine a combination of Python and SVG. We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer seamlessly than to empower iteravely. If you incentivize perfectly, you may have to grow extensibly. We will recontextualize the standard industry commonly-used standard industry buzzword "social-network-based". It comes off as unimagined, but it's 100 percent entirely true!