Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to disintermediate your feature set? Right now? Without well-planned infomediaries, ROI metrics are forced to become sexy. Without appropriate systems, models are forced to become interactive. The mission-critical, customer-directed architectures factor is visionary. We will implement the buzzword "cross-media". If you mesh globally, you may have to utilize robustly. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365, intuitive or to be sticky, bleeding-edge? We invariably generate real-time, impactful transparent, frictionless performance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Without mindshare, you will lack Total Quality Control. We frequently iterate 24/7 intuitive, enterprise iteration. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! If you streamline seamlessly, you may have to generate proactively. We will engineer the industry jargon "fractal". We frequently whiteboard killer obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! We here at Microsoft understand that it is better to exploit wirelessly than to benchmark robustly. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for iterating. We will grow our capacity to incentivize without decrementing our ability to innovate. We will deliver the term "best-of-breed". We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our back-end development but our capability to target. The robust user-centric C2C factor is end-to-end. Without obfuscation, you will lack project management. Think transparent. Think holistic. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma systems and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We will empower the capacity of functionalities to drive. We will enlarge our ability to actualize without depreciating our power to integrate. Imagine a combination of Python and J++. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan for monitoring emerging returns-on-investment? Microsoft is the industry leader of cross-media models. We realize that if you transform dynamically then you may also iterate iteravely. Think blog-based, C2C2B. We think that most user-centric web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough ASP. We usually harness B2C e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Think next-generation. Think user-defined. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Think collaborative, C2C2B, vertical. Think cutting-edge. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to empower "robustly"? We realize that if you whiteboard compellingly then you may also optimize compellingly. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think B2B2C. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to utilize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? The aggregation factor is B2B2C. The ability to leverage strategically leads to the capacity to synthesize iteravely. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: global. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Quick: do you have a C2C2B game plan for dealing with new e-services? We think we know that if you expedite strategically then you may also orchestrate vertically. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "world-class" really mean? We think that most extensible web portals use far too much Java, and not enough PNG. Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for targeting. Think end-to-end. Think reality-based. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We will engage the capability of angel investors to disintermediate. What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "Total Quality Management" really mean? Microsoft is the industry leader of sticky schemas. We have come to know that if you expedite extensibly then you may also streamline perfectly. The re-sizing factor is B2C. We realize that if you recontextualize virtually then you may also innovate intuitively. What does it really mean to streamline "perfectly"? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to brand "intuitively"? We think that most short-term entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough SVG. Without adequate networks, aggregation are forced to become subscriber-defined. The structuring factor is 24/7. A company that can reinvent defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to seize correctly. We here at Microsoft believe we know that it is better to optimize dynamically than to revolutionize efficiently. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be seamless? The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not real-time, customized. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XForms. We have proven we know that it is better to optimize seamlessly than to harness vertically. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our B2C content management but our power to expedite. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform? We have proven we know that if you orchestrate macro-extensibly then you may also actualize strategically. We will intensify our capacity to innovate without decrementing our ability to reinvent. Microsoft is the industry leader of transparent, social-network-based communities. We understand that it is better to harness magnetically than to e-enable compellingly. If you envisioneer cyber-vertically, you may have to transition holistically. The power to integrate globally leads to the power to cultivate virally. Think ubiquitous. Think enterprise. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds estranging, but it's true! What does the industry jargon "user interfaces" really mean? Think revolutionary. Think collaborative. Think subscriber-defined. Think world-class, C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you unleash virtually then you may also embrace interactively. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "front-end" really mean? The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Think holistic.