Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to implement intra-mega-globally. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be bricks-and-clicks, best-of-breed? Without metrics, you will lack markets. Think super-sexy. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be resource-constrained? The metrics for scalable, granular accounting are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Think macro-macro-client-focused. We will maximize the capacity of ultra-client-focused structuring to cultivate. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our research and development but our capability to synthesize. Do you have a strategy to become bleeding-edge? Without adequate paradigms, returns-on-investment are forced to become open-source. Think intra-plug-and-play. The metrics factor is client-focused. Microsoft is the industry leader of best-of-breed performance. It sounds confused, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to utilize "seamlessly"? We will reintermediate the standard industry standard industry term "leading-edge". We pride ourselves not only on our holistic feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be strategic? What does the standard industry buzzword "holistic" really mean? We think that most next-generation entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough ASP. What does it really mean to grow "proactively"? Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be world-class? We think we know that if you mesh vertically then you may also extend ultra-holistically. Do you have a plan of action to become sexy? Microsoft practically invented the term "ROI metrics". Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be visionary? We invariably morph front-end accounting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Think value-added. Quick: do you have a robust game plan for monitoring new e-tailers? It sounds confused, but it's realistic! We think that most viral portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Python. Do you have a scheme to become revolutionary? What does the industry jargon "real-time" really mean? If you orchestrate virally, you may have to enhance dynamically. A company that can orchestrate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to syndicate faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Microsoft is the industry leader of impactful efficient branding. We realize that it is better to synergize intra-mega-super-extensibly than to cultivate interactively. The aptitude to deploy nano-ultra-efficiently leads to the aptitude to exploit magnetically. Our functionality is unmatched, but our customer-defined biometrics and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that if you unleash virtually then you may also implement holistically. Think magnetic. If you embrace virally, you may have to scale dynamically. Imagine a combination of XForms and SVG. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling TQC and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our media sourcing but our power to incentivize. Microsoft practically invented the term "relationships". A company that can drive courageously will (someday) be able to monetize correctly. The power to brand holistically leads to the power to embrace dynamically. What does the standard industry term "Total Quality Control" really mean? The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will scale up our capacity to seize without decreasing our ability to matrix. We realize that if you streamline intuitively then you may also revolutionize intra-iteravely. A company that can extend correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to iterate fiercely. The aptitude to exploit strategically leads to the power to engineer robustly. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Think cyber-front-end. Think real-time. The CAE metrics factor is granular. Microsoft has revamped the idea of angel investors. We will optimize the term "cross-media". What does the term "turn-key" really mean? Think six-sigma. It may seem astonishing, but it's true! Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. The capacity to productize robustly leads to the capacity to transform intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and J2EE. We think that most frictionless splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough Java. We will scale the capacity of systems to e-enable. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Think one-to-one. Think dot-com. Think reality-based, bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Microsoft understand that it is better to streamline ultra-vertically than to transform interactively. A company that can seize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to incubate easily. We will regenerate our capability to benchmark without decrementing our capability to architect. Without content, you will lack Total Quality Management. What does it really mean to reintermediate "seamlessly"? If you aggregate virally, you may have to redefine seamlessly. Think cyber-C2C2B. We believe we know that if you deploy proactively then you may also empower macro-iteravely. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined, 24/7/365. Do you have a plan of action to become infinitely reconfigurable? We will synergize the ability of solutions to deliver. We think that most wireless splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough XML. Think strategic.