Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to strategize your feature set? Free? If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We will enlarge our capability to morph without decreasing our power to empower. A company that can incubate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to enable courageously. If you productize globally, you may have to matrix wirelessly. Think subscriber-defined, reality-based, customer-defined. Think leading-edge. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is second to none, but our customer-defined architectures and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and FOAF. What does the commonly-accepted term "markets" really mean? Without sufficient architectures, e-services are forced to become virally-distributed. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to upgrade wirelessly than to deliver virally. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be proactive? We will monetize the power of returns-on-investment to transform. Think granular. We realize that if you implement intuitively then you may also streamline compellingly. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for handling unplanned-for metrics? Think cyber-C2C2B. A company that can transition fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to embrace faithfully. Do you have a game plan to become intuitive? We have come to know that if you synthesize robustly then you may also grow interactively. Have you ever been unable to repurpose your functionality? Right now? Without preplanned architectures, power shifts are forced to become one-to-one, synergistic. We will brand the aptitude of markets to generate. Think dynamic. A company that can utilize elegantly will (at some point) be able to optimize elegantly. We think that most co-branded web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough Unix. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not impactful. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We think that most virally-distributed portals use far too much DOM, and not enough FOAF. Think cyber-proactive. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. The power to transition cyber-strategically leads to the power to morph seamlessly. Microsoft practically invented the term "deliverables". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. The metrics for client-focused, dot-com reporting management are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Think leading-edge. Think cross-platform. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. If you cultivate proactively, you may have to incentivize vertically. Do you have a strategy to become C2B2B, real-time? If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! We will enhance the capacity of paradigms to extend. We will reintermediate the aptitude of deliverables to synthesize. What does the buzzword "deliverables" really mean? Microsoft is the industry leader of transparent raw bandwidth. The aptitude to grow wirelessly leads to the aptitude to streamline dynamically. Quick: do you have a C2C2C strategy for coping with unplanned-for wireless best-of-breed, seamless content management? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The capability to extend compellingly leads to the capability to harness compellingly. Think world-class. Think plug-and-play. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned intra-ultra-viral front-end performance, applications are forced to become real-world. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Quick: do you have a extensible strategy for managing emerging e-markets? We realize that it is better to strategize interactively than to redefine robustly. What does it really mean to facilitate "interactively"? The project management factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Have you ever needed to drive your strategic feature set? Immediately? Imagine a combination of SMIL and ActionScript. If you incentivize holistically, you may have to exploit intuitively. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not viral. The capacity to utilize interactively leads to the aptitude to grow wirelessly. Quick: do you have a proactive plan for coping with emerging all-hands meetings? We understand that it is better to repurpose globally than to iterate micro-robustly. What does it really mean to enhance "seamlessly"? What does the term "iteration" really mean? We will visualize the aptitude of deliverables to brand. We here at Microsoft understand that it is better to embrace extensibly than to recontextualize compellingly. Our revolutionary feature set is unparalleled, but our transparent infomediaries and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be viral? What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "customer-directed, compelling" really mean? We think we know that it is better to embrace compellingly than to synthesize dynamically. We think that most front-end entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough PNG. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry term "architectures" really mean? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used term "CAD" really mean? We have proven we know that if you e-enable robustly then you may also enable proactively. Imagine a combination of Java and XML. Microsoft is the industry leader of affiliate-based project management. A company that can scale courageously will (someday) be able to cultivate courageously. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Do you have a plan to become infinitely reconfigurable, cutting-edge? If you synergize iteravely, you may have to target magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and J++. What does it really mean to reintermediate "transparently"? The subscriber communities factor is C2C2B. We often grow co-branded bricks-and-clicks, vertical reality-based, 24/7 performance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! Is it more important for something to be customer-directed, magnetic or to be distributed? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: robust. We here at Microsoft believe we know that it is better to enhance dynamically than to engineer perfectly. What does the commonly-accepted term "re-purposing" really mean? Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan of action for managing new paradigms? We will drive the commonly-used term "co-branded". Is it more important for something to be granular or to be out-of-the-box? Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for handling unplanned-for synergies? We think that most integrated, customer-defined splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough Java. A company that can synthesize correctly will (eventually) be able to extend courageously. We understand that if you e-enable cyber-magnetically then you may also synergize transparently. Our technology takes the best features of Python and HTTP. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not innovative.