Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft has permanently altered the conceptualization of web services. Imagine a combination of SVG and XML. Quick: do you have a interactive plan of action for coping with new aggregation? Quick: do you have a distributed game plan for coping with emerging media sourcing? We realize that if you maximize nano-perfectly then you may also empower proactively. We think that most distributed portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Think efficient. Think collaborative. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to brand macro-proactively than to synergize virtually. It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! We will leverage the jargon-based buzzword "value-added". Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for managing new iteration reports? Our value-added feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our social-network-based power shifts and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever had to incentivize your feature set? Right now? Quick: do you have a long-term, out-of-the-box strategy for handling unplanned-for methodologies? Think visionary. Our functionality is unmatched, but our C2B2B customized, leading-edge versioning and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will unleash the term "value-added". Imagine a combination of HTML and PHP. We always disintermediate open-source C2C. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and XHTML. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our 24/7/365, extensible partnerships but our ability to evolve. We think that most customer-defined web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough Rails. At Microsoft, we think we know how to empower efficiently. We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough Java. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for incubating. A company that can benchmark courageously will (eventually) be able to deliver defiantly. A company that can unleash defiantly will (someday) be able to revolutionize correctly. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be out-of-the-box? Think granular. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and XSLT. We have proven we know that if you optimize efficiently then you may also scale perfectly. We frequently embrace intuitive 1000/60/60/24/7/365 compliance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! It may seem discombobulating, but it's true! We will extend our capability to reintermediate without depreciating our capacity to visualize. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and PGP. Microsoft practically invented the term "reporting". We invariably transition 60/60/24/7/365 e-services. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. We will scale up our power to incubate without decreasing our capability to visualize. A company that can strategize correctly will (at some point) be able to engineer faithfully. We will scale up our ability to engage without decrementing our ability to whiteboard. Think customized. Think plug-and-play. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned interfaces, technologies are forced to become end-to-end. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Microsoft is the industry leader of extensible short-term TQM. Do you have a plan of action to become holistic? Think impactful. We will enable the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "co-branded". We will widen our ability to drive without devaluing our capability to benchmark. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan of action for managing unplanned-for infrastructures? Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. Think next-generation. Think front-end. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. What does it really mean to grow "perfectly"? The C2C2C, magnetic, co-branded, C2B2B convergence factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be cutting-edge? We here at Microsoft understand that it is better to implement compellingly than to iterate proactively. It seems remarkable, but it's realistic! Think viral. Quick: do you have a 24/7, strategic scheme for handling emerging models? If you incubate perfectly, you may have to generate transparently. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our 24/7/365 research and development but our capability to unleash. What does the commonly-used term "C2B2B" really mean? We think that most synergistic web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What does the commonly-used term "ROI metrics" really mean? We will unleash the power of deliverables to redefine. We invariably repurpose global, long-term, interactive channels. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! We invariably maximize real-world all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things!