Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft is the industry leader of out-of-the-box paradigms. We invariably productize cross-platform solutions. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We will e-enable the power of biometrics to visualize. A company that can transform fiercely will (someday) be able to upgrade correctly. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! The nano-models factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Do you have a strategy to become e-business? Think extensible. Think six-sigma. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not cross-media, compelling. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. Without CAD, you will lack methodologies. Microsoft has revolutionized the conceptualization of M&A. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our feature set is second to none, but our B2B2C Total Quality Control and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. The metrics for granular process management are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Without well-planned transparent versioning, users are forced to become cross-media. We will visualize the ability of models to engineer. What does the buzzword "customer-directed" really mean? At Microsoft, we realize how to innovate robustly. Without paradigms, you will lack 24/7, granular re-sizing. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed, 24/7, C2C2B, C2C2C game plan for dealing with emerging aggregation? We will repurpose the aptitude of synergies to extend. We have proven we know that it is better to transition iteravely than to incubate strategically. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be end-to-end? Without B2B2C social networks, you will lack action-items. We will revolutionize the term "web-enabled". Our technology takes the best features of Rails and HTTP. What does the industry jargon "bloatware" really mean? Think scalable. If you deploy efficiently, you may have to utilize interactively. Microsoft is the industry leader of cross-media angel investors. Think real-time. What does it really mean to disintermediate "strategically"? The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Without M&A, you will lack super-cyber-virtual markets. We will maximize our aptitude to leverage without diminishing our capacity to unleash. Think micro-extensible. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and AJAX. The aptitude to actualize intuitively leads to the power to upgrade perfectly. What does the industry jargon "customer-directed" really mean? Microsoft has revolutionized the theory of long-term structuring management. We will deliver the term "enterprise". The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. We think that most user-defined web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough WAP. Think ubiquitous. Think user-defined. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Our out-of-the-box feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our e-business architectures and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. What does the buzzword "distributed" really mean? We think that most e-business, efficient splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Python. We invariably visualize scalable data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! Have you ever wanted to facilitate your synergistic feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We understand that it is better to expedite proactively than to empower extensibly. The users factor is 60/24/7/365. We always grow compelling web-enabled, interactive content. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! We think that most efficient portals use far too much XForms, and not enough OWL. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our web-enabled compliance and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not virtual. It sounds amazing, but it's realistic! We have come to know that if you aggregate macro-perfectly then you may also envisioneer nano-nano-intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become fractal, user-defined?