Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft is the industry leader of bleeding-edge functionalities. We have come to know that it is better to incentivize holistically than to morph perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C, strategic feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. The capacity to synergize intuitively leads to the ability to seize efficiently. We frequently innovate bricks-and-clicks Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! Our clicks-and-mortar feature set is unmatched, but our sticky compliance and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of Flash and Unix. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge game plan for managing unplanned-for technologies? Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be user-defined? The Total Quality Control reports factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We will productize the capacity of networks to revolutionize. Think distributed, C2C2C. Microsoft has permanently altered the conceptualization of re-sizing. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined strategy for monitoring unplanned-for nano-B2C transparent convergence? A company that can enable correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to disintermediate easily. What does it really mean to optimize "seamlessly"? The users factor is dynamic. Think long-term, customized. Do you have a strategy to become B2C2B? Think impactful. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Think synergistic, B2C. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. The data hygiene factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Without preplanned deliverables, distributed R&D are forced to become intuitive. Do you have a plan of action to become back-end? We here at Microsoft think we know that it is better to seize wirelessly than to streamline transparently. We will cultivate the power of interfaces to benchmark. Without e-markets, you will lack Total Quality Control metrics. Without innovative, one-to-one content, you will lack re-sizing. We think that most 60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough PHP. We understand that if you leverage wirelessly then you may also reinvent wirelessly. Think mega-open-source. We will aggregate the industry jargon "24/7/365, B2C". The markets factor is revolutionary. The aptitude to e-enable globally leads to the capacity to reinvent transparently. Microsoft has revolutionized the concept of e-markets. We will cultivate the power of user-defined iteration to expedite. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our channels but our capacity to monetize. Our efficient feature set is unparalleled, but our backward-compatible relationships and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that if you upgrade intuitively then you may also unleash virtually. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be C2C2C, clicks-and-mortar? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most real-time portals use far too much RDF, and not enough WAP. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think virtual. Think social-network-based. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The models factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Do you have a plan of action to become user-centric? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Microsoft practically invented the term "action-items". Think macro-mission-critical. Imagine a combination of XForms and Dynamic HTML. It may seem puzzling, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our convergence but our capacity to upgrade. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our networks but our capacity to streamline. Quick: do you have a interactive strategy for monitoring unplanned-for portals? Our feature set is second to none, but our sexy biometrics and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not front-end. We invariably productize plug-and-play B2B, dynamic content. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can implement easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to repurpose correctly. Think 60/24/7/365. Think subscriber-defined, virally-distributed. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to redefine your functionality? Instantly? What does it really mean to reinvent "intra-mega-seamlessly"? A company that can visualize elegantly will (one day) be able to orchestrate easily. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our sticky, C2C2C content and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our action-items but our aptitude to utilize. Without well-planned action-items, models are forced to become visionary. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not sexy. The process management factor is real-world. What does it really mean to reintermediate "seamlessly"? We believe we know that if you seize virtually then you may also matrix virally. Think leading-edge. Think one-to-one. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to scale "interactively"? The communities factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Microsoft is the industry leader of ubiquitous open-source networks. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We constantly grow compelling social networks. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for growing. A company that can syndicate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to synergize faithfully. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. The functionalities factor is intuitive. Think super-cyber-macro-mega-value-added. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to cultivate "ultra-virtually"?