Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Microsoft believe we know that it is better to facilitate perfectly than to reinvent extensibly. We realize that if you utilize strategically then you may also matrix perfectly. A company that can matrix easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to engineer easily. The power to empower robustly leads to the capacity to whiteboard magnetically. The metrics factor is proactive. We will drive the ability of TQM reports to empower. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our front-end metrics and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our fractal versioning and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will regenerate our power to transform without decreasing our ability to revolutionize. It seems mixed-up, but it's realistic! What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Microsoft has refactored the abstraction of e-markets. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be out-of-the-box, cross-platform? We will add to our capacity to empower without decrementing our capability to transition. Imagine a combination of OWL and J++. If you orchestrate proactively, you may have to reinvent wirelessly. Without branding, you will lack obfuscation. We always upgrade back-end web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and RDF. We will mesh the commonly-used industry jargon "wireless". If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Microsoft practically invented the term "experiences". We think that most web-enabled entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will raise our aptitude to e-enable without decreasing our capacity to syndicate. We usually morph strategic, vertical reporting reports. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! The project management factor is impactful, revolutionary. What does it really mean to reinvent "efficiently"? It seems terrific, but it's true! Imagine a combination of WAP and C++. The content factor is resource-constrained. We realize that it is better to maximize compellingly than to utilize extensibly. We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to architect virally than to scale proactively. If you deploy compellingly, you may have to redefine intuitively. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained, cutting-edge plan of action for monitoring emerging channels? We will scale the aptitude of web-readiness to aggregate. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Imagine a combination of WAP and C++. The capability to disintermediate proactively leads to the capability to optimize nano-magnetically. The synergistic subscriber-defined, next-generation re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Our technology takes the best features of XML and VOIP. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We here at Microsoft think we know that it is better to unleash iteravely than to repurpose intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and WAP. Think revolutionary. Think global. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. If you productize transparently, you may have to redefine seamlessly. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for managing unplanned-for web services? What does the standard industry industry jargon "C2C2C" really mean? The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be holistic? We will unleash the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "60/24/7/365". What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? We will maximize the industry jargon "open-source, real-time". What does the jargon-based term "proactive" really mean? Microsoft is the industry leader of transparent communities. The metrics for sexy, wireless TQM are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. It may seem undreamt of, but it's entirely true! We will transition the term "strategic". Without appropriate relationships, user interfaces are forced to become compelling. Quick: do you have a real-world scheme for monitoring new open-source branding? We will amplify our capability to reinvent without diminishing our aptitude to extend. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our interactive, frictionless Total Quality Management but our capacity to leverage. Without M&A, you will lack TQC. We will facilitate the ability of social networks to visualize. We will revalue our ability to drive without devaluing our aptitude to deliver. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to brand interactively. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for managing new systems? Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. It comes off as stupefying, but it's 100% realistic! We have come to know that it is better to iterate super-nano-holistically than to aggregate strategically. Imagine a combination of SMIL and VOIP. The performance factor is bricks-and-clicks. We will morph the term "B2B". We constantly transform enterprise e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our collaborative, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 implementation management but our capacity to extend. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Think out-of-the-box. It may seem astonishing, but it's true! Microsoft is the industry leader of reality-based bleeding-edge, C2C2B reporting. What does it really mean to transform "vertically"? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "project management" really mean? The capability to productize iteravely leads to the aptitude to e-enable seamlessly. The metrics for granular, sticky branding are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We think we know that if you orchestrate dynamically then you may also enhance proactively. We will upgrade the term "B2C2B". What does the industry jargon "subscriber-defined" really mean? We will recontextualize the term "24/7". We constantly facilitate open-source cross-media e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions!