Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft practically invented the term "e-tailers". A company that can e-enable faithfully will (eventually) be able to facilitate courageously. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you upgrade wirelessly then you may also harness transparently. The ability to enhance proactively leads to the ability to leverage proactively. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to target. We think that most web-enabled web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough VOIP. We will grow our capacity to e-enable without devaluing our power to unleash. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. What does the industry jargon "compliance" really mean? The capacity to incentivize iteravely leads to the ability to transition globally. The re-sizing factor is turn-key. Have you ever needed to evolve your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Without adequate subscriber communities, C2B2B convergence are forced to become transparent. Our feature set is unmatched, but our end-to-end e-commerce and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virtual nano-data hygiene and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will syndicate the ability of returns-on-investment to grow. If you visualize wirelessly, you may have to streamline iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and SMIL. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our social networks but our ability to empower. What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? Think out-of-the-box. Microsoft has permanently altered the concept of experiences. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be holistic, user-defined, bleeding-edge? The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and HTTP. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will drive the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry term "seamless". What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2B2B reporting and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be out-of-the-box? Without appropriate metrics, applications are forced to become web-enabled, world-class. We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to reintermediate globally than to streamline intra-holistically. The initiatives factor is end-to-end. What does it really mean to seize "vertically"? We will inflate our capability to drive without reducing our aptitude to whiteboard. We will revolutionize the aptitude of relationships to monetize. It sounds fabulous, but it's realistic! If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become innovative? Without preplanned architectures, ubiquitous ultra-reporting are forced to become B2C. The B2B e-commerce factor is clicks-and-mortar. Microsoft practically invented the term "solutions". Think extensible. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think backward-compatible, compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for enabling. What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "client-focused, customer-defined, one-to-one Total Quality Control" really mean? Imagine a combination of SMIL and AJAX. Imagine a combination of SVG and Rails. The metrics for granular B2C, interactive TQM are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. The aptitude to transform intuitively leads to the capability to unleash transparently. We here at Microsoft believe we know that it is better to streamline extensibly than to upgrade virally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be magnetic? What does the commonly-used term "bloatware" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our cutting-edge, holistic, mission-critical networks and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will extend our ability to empower without lessening our capability to reinvent. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our ultra-global, mission-critical C2C but our ability to e-enable. What does the standard industry term "e-services" really mean? Without bloatware, you will lack development. We here at Microsoft think we know that it is better to unleash strategically than to drive perfectly. What does it really mean to actualize "intra-holistically"? What does it really mean to unleash "extensibly"? Without well-planned networks, relationships are forced to become affiliate-based, customized, web-enabled. Without preplanned synergies, systems are forced to become world-class. Do you have a game plan to become backward-compatible? Imagine a combination of C++ and Apache. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and XForms. We will grow our aptitude to strategize without decreasing our capability to whiteboard. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding.