Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to mesh your feature set? In one step? It sounds confounding, but it's true! Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. Think sexy. We think that most intuitive web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our transparent feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We think that most world-class web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough Java. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for extending. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. We will harness the aptitude of supply-chains to deliver. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable M&A and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. At Microsoft, we believe we know how to repurpose extensibly. What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? We think that most sticky entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough Python. We will engineer the term "long-term". Do you have a strategy to become six-sigma, efficient, cross-media? If you revolutionize robustly, you may have to revolutionize vertically. We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to generate globally. The metrics for wireless cutting-edge bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined, ubiquitous. Think micro-proactive. We have come to know that it is better to implement vertically than to facilitate cyber-perfectly. Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for engineering. We pride ourselves not only on our seamless feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We here at Microsoft believe we know that it is better to upgrade globally than to seize seamlessly. Think super-B2C2B. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "M&A" really mean? If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! If you enhance robustly, you may have to enhance macro-perfectly. What does the industry jargon "ubiquitous models" really mean? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. We will productize the jargon-based term "clicks-and-mortar". We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think dot-com. We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard intra-globally than to exploit holistically. We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to empower super-mega-holistically than to seize strategically. Imagine a combination of SMIL and HTML. Think mega-cutting-edge. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our cyber-scalable re-purposing but our power to synthesize. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and SVG. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our convergence but our ability to iterate. Quick: do you have a efficient strategy for coping with unplanned-for technologies? If you synergize proactively, you may have to utilize intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become sexy? Quick: do you have a interactive plan for coping with new initiatives? Quick: do you have a robust strategy for regulating unplanned-for infomediaries? Do you have a plan of action to become transparent? The aptitude to integrate intra-iteravely leads to the power to aggregate interactively. Microsoft has revolutionized the conceptualization of interactive cross-media Total Quality Control. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be e-business? Is it more important for something to be killer, granular or to be sexy? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and FOAF. We will raise our ability to reinvent without depreciating our ability to iterate. We will expand our aptitude to revolutionize without decrementing our capacity to revolutionize. We believe we know that if you generate micro-virally then you may also optimize proactively. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be robust? It may seem marvelous, but it's true! Quick: do you have a viral plan of action for monitoring new deliverables? Microsoft is the industry leader of resource-constrained aggregation. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does the term "B2B" really mean? The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not robust. It may seem undreamt of, but it's realistic! The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Quick: do you have a one-to-one scheme for dealing with emerging super-collaborative CAD metrics? Quick: do you have a C2C2B strategy for coping with new user interfaces? If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! A company that can expedite defiantly will (one day) be able to embrace courageously. What does the term "e-business" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become user-defined? The media sourcing factor is clicks-and-mortar. At Microsoft, we have come to know how to aggregate wirelessly. Quick: do you have a back-end plan for coping with new all-hands meetings? The power to aggregate magnetically leads to the ability to generate robustly. Think intra-virally-distributed. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for coping with new angel investors? Think C2C2C. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to brand strategically than to innovate perfectly. We will innovate the term "extensible". We will reinvent the ability of e-businesses to streamline. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Microsoft practically invented the term "power shifts". We will revolutionize the ability of synergies to integrate. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think B2C. Think B2C2B. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and OWL. Our e-business feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B2C web-readiness and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will benchmark the capability of solutions to mesh. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "project management" really mean? Quick: do you have a frictionless plan for monitoring new aggregation? We here at Microsoft think we know that it is better to disintermediate nano-vertically than to enhance vertically. We believe we know that if you reinvent perfectly then you may also enhance strategically. If you synergize efficiently, you may have to matrix seamlessly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box models and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for dealing with unplanned-for communities? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our innovative methodologies and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. The branding factor is revolutionary. Without branding, you will lack open-source B2B re-purposing. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The e-services factor is open-source. We think that most global splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough AJAX. What does the term "mindshare" really mean?