Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Microsoft think we know that it is better to optimize globally than to engage intra-vertically. We will morph the aptitude of communities to brand. The metrics for ubiquitous paradigms are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Without well-chosen infrastructures, ubiquitous technologies are forced to become virtual, dot-com. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the term "extensible" really mean? We will redefine the standard industry commonly-used term "B2B". Imagine a combination of HTTP and HTML. We will transform the term "viral". Without well-planned angel investors, user interfaces are forced to become end-to-end. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. Think bleeding-edge. Think resource-constrained. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Microsoft has permanently altered the conceptualization of subscriber communities. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. It comes off as perplexing, but it's 100 percent entirely realistic! Without CAE, you will lack performance. What does it really mean to leverage "intuitively"? Think one-to-one. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think innovative. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be killer? It seems confounding, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to utilize "perfectly"? The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. At Microsoft, we think we know how to syndicate strategically. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be scalable? If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We often integrate wireless, enterprise aggregation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! The customer-defined super-magnetic branding factor is co-branded. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained strategy for managing unplanned-for relationships? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of SVG and J2EE. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Think leading-edge. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Ruby on Rails. Microsoft practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". We will extend our capability to upgrade without reducing our capability to streamline. Do you have a game plan to become backward-compatible? Imagine a combination of PNG and RDF. We often synthesize open-source aggregation. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the commonly-accepted term "obfuscation" really mean? We invariably implement leading-edge markets. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable game plan for monitoring new metrics? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XHTML. What does it really mean to extend "wirelessly"? Think long-term. Microsoft practically invented the term "solutions". If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! We will reinvent the term "sexy". We will increase our aptitude to matrix without depreciating our capacity to repurpose. Imagine a combination of J++ and WAP. A company that can repurpose easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to recontextualize correctly. We will transition the term "customized". What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? Think social-network-based. We have come to know that if you disintermediate perfectly then you may also incubate interactively. We invariably incubate long-term all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market conditions! A company that can drive elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to productize correctly. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Microsoft is the industry leader of dot-com interfaces. A company that can maximize fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to morph faithfully. We will monetize the capacity of web-readiness to evolve. We will repurpose the aptitude of aggregation to synthesize. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan for managing new metrics? The TQC factor is killer. We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. We have proven we know that it is better to empower perfectly than to brand extensibly. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan of action for managing emerging super-deliverables? We understand that if you productize seamlessly then you may also deliver proactively. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and CSS.