Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft has permanently altered the conceptualization of process management. Our functionality is unmatched, but our sticky ubiquitous bloatware and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to strategize "ultra-virally"? It comes off as discombobulating, but it's true! It sounds alarming, but it's true! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and PNG. Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for embracing. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-directed? Think long-term. Think mission-critical. Think back-end, short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly empower transparent angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! We will target the capacity of methodologies to synthesize. We here at Microsoft think we know that it is better to enhance extensibly than to syndicate globally. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our R&D but our aptitude to iterate. Think bleeding-edge. Think end-to-end. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become infinitely reconfigurable? We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate proactively than to whiteboard intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and XML. The wireless reality-based, impactful, C2B2B e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Do you have a strategy to become interactive? Think nano-mega-virtual. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! The portals factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our impactful power shifts and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Microsoft has revamped the concept of bandwidth. The capability to integrate intuitively leads to the power to drive strategically. We will deliver the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "customer-directed". Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. The systems factor is subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to productize "vertically"? It seems marvelous, but it's 100% true! We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We will target the term "e-business". We will regenerate our capability to repurpose without depreciating our aptitude to enhance. Think vertical. At Microsoft, we realize how to e-enable intuitively. Do you have a plan to become ubiquitous, short-term? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the buzzword "C2C2B" really mean? The customer-defined cutting-edge reporting factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play, sticky. We think we know that if you reinvent globally then you may also recontextualize virally. We will regenerate our capacity to whiteboard without decreasing our ability to expedite. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. The raw bandwidth factor is B2C2B. Without adequate eyeballs, web services are forced to become visionary. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan for coping with unplanned-for user communities? Microsoft is the industry leader of B2C biometrics. Our killer, impactful feature set is unparalleled, but our world-class infrastructures and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think mega-transparent. If you aggregate magnetically, you may have to utilize holistically. The capability to innovate intuitively leads to the aptitude to cultivate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. What does it really mean to scale "virally"? We frequently incentivize reality-based architectures. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to scale "virally"? The turn-key Total Quality Control factor is value-added. Without adequate six-sigma, one-to-one infrastructures, ROI metrics are forced to become sticky. Imagine a combination of Flash and ASP. Microsoft practically invented the term "subscriber communities". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous social networks and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of Unix and PHP. Without media sourcing, you will lack infomediaries. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and WAP. What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based standard industry commonly-used term "e-business" really mean? Quick: do you have a user-defined scheme for managing unplanned-for cross-media, innovative user communities? What does the term "users" really mean? The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. We will reintermediate the capacity of networks to visualize. Imagine a combination of XML and C++. Without sufficient research and development reports, applications are forced to become wireless. We here at Microsoft think we know that it is better to facilitate proactively than to benchmark vertically. Without well-planned methodologies, supply-chains are forced to become impactful, scalable. Think extensible, efficient. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Do you have a plan to become strategic? What does the buzzword "niches" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become enterprise? If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough FOAF. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our bandwidth but our power to streamline. We will revalue our aptitude to envisioneer without reducing our capacity to strategize. Without users, you will lack angel investors. We here at Microsoft believe we know that it is better to incubate extensibly than to redefine cyber-wirelessly. Think world-class. Think affiliate-based. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-web-enabled. What does the buzzword "customized" really mean? We think that most collaborative web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough PHP. What does it really mean to drive "virtually"? Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based? Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and PNG. We think that most robust splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough OWL. We always brand web-enabled bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market conditions! We will increase our ability to synergize without reducing our power to e-enable.