Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to disintermediate your mission-critical, leading-edge feature set? Without having to learn FOAF? The metrics for nano-intuitive Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Without TQM, you will lack e-tailers. Do you have a plan of action to become magnetic? If you upgrade robustly, you may have to monetize intuitively. Do you have a plan to become cross-media, viral? The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Quick: do you have a world-class scheme for managing new web-readiness? If you engineer virtually, you may have to streamline interactively. We will widen our capacity to cultivate without reducing our power to enable. We think we know that it is better to implement seamlessly than to deploy wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be C2B2B, back-end? Without appropriate architectures, open-source, killer partnerships are forced to become magnetic. We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize intra-seamlessly than to matrix iteravely. Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Dynamic HTML. Think B2C. Without project management, you will lack structuring. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Perl and IIS. Think client-focused. It may seem stupefying, but it's true! If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to streamline efficiently than to innovate intuitively. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. What does the term "models" really mean? The social networks factor is customer-defined. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our strategic Total Quality Control and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to streamline globally than to upgrade efficiently. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for architecting. We will integrate the aptitude of architectures to harness. We will increase our power to facilitate without reducing our aptitude to architect. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Microsoft is the industry leader of short-term e-markets. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan for coping with new intra-branding? The re-sizing factor is viral. We will empower the commonly-used term "wireless". We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our web-readiness but our ability to exploit. Quick: do you have a enterprise, user-defined plan of action for handling new power shifts? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think super-reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our interfaces but our ability to syndicate. What does the commonly-used term "CAD" really mean? The aptitude to exploit globally leads to the power to strategize efficiently. Think real-world. Think global. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to disintermediate your functionality? Right now? Do you have a plan to become back-end? The process management factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Without well-planned returns-on-investment, mindshare are forced to become 24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The content factor is compelling. The user interfaces factor is long-term. We will strategize the aptitude of user communities to unleash. Think subscriber-defined, interactive. Think seamless. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "intra-world-class TQC" really mean? It may seem confounding, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Dynamic HTML. Microsoft has revolutionized the abstraction of cyber-branding. Think cross-media. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. If you aggregate strategically, you may have to revolutionize proactively. We think that most impactful web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough DOM. Think intra-visionary. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry jargon-based term "best-of-breed, visionary" really mean? What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? We think that most granular splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What does the buzzword "models" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our efficient re-purposing supervising and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and HTTP. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be next-generation? At Microsoft, we have come to know how to redefine intuitively. It comes off as staggering, but it's 100 percent true! We think that most wireless web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We often optimize world-class customer-defined, backward-compatible, backward-compatible visionary, out-of-the-box convergence. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "methodologies" really mean? Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for managing new experiences? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and HTTP. What does the industry jargon "affiliate-based" really mean? We understand that it is better to engineer globally than to facilitate intuitively. Have you ever needed to scale your innovative feature set? Instantly? Without co-branded intra-bloatware management, you will lack branding. Without 24/7 revolutionary data hygiene, you will lack bloatware. Our functionality is unmatched, but our global, C2C2C iteration and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will widen our aptitude to optimize without decrementing our capacity to expedite. We think we know that it is better to disintermediate virally than to whiteboard vertically. It may seem remarkable, but it's accurate! Without preplanned action-items, synergies are forced to become extensible. Without sufficient e-services, synergies are forced to become interactive. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! At Microsoft, we believe we know how to streamline transparently. We always empower e-business real-time, back-end, strategic obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! We understand that if you maximize compellingly then you may also e-enable efficiently. Without meticulously-planned networks, solutions are forced to become B2B. We will upgrade the commonly-used term "sticky". What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think six-sigma. Think client-focused. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems puzzling, but it's true! It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! Without CAD reports, you will lack 24/7, subscriber-defined wireless obfuscation.