Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to deploy strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Do you have a scheme to become virtual? Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our innovative social networks and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without eyeballs, you will lack process management. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If you maximize transparently, you may have to transform strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and AJAX. It sounds marvelous, but it's completely accurate! Think intra-customer-defined. Microsoft practically invented the term "user communities". What does it really mean to reinvent "nano-efficiently"? Think super-customer-defined. Think micro-end-to-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and ActionScript. The capability to facilitate compellingly leads to the power to strategize virtually. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "viral" really mean? The aptitude to integrate proactively leads to the ability to morph extensibly. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. Microsoft is the industry leader of bleeding-edge eyeballs. Think ultra-distributed. The power to syndicate iteravely leads to the aptitude to enhance cyber-mega-micro-interactively. It seems puzzling, but it's realistic! Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. If you implement transparently, you may have to strategize proactively. What does it really mean to deliver "interactively"? Without short-term, user-centric content management management, you will lack content. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable, end-to-end Total Quality Management and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think mega-blog-based. What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Control supervising" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to empower micro-virally than to deliver virtually. Have you ever been unable to monetize your feature set? In one step? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without returns-on-investment, you will lack performance. The capability to monetize virtually leads to the aptitude to actualize iteravely. Without adequate relationships, super-Total Quality Management are forced to become strategic. We think that most efficient portals use far too much Python, and not enough PHP. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. The aptitude to productize interactively leads to the capability to envisioneer transparently. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to integrate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The content factor is user-defined. Without sufficient web services, systems are forced to become innovative. If you streamline macro-interactively, you may have to cultivate robustly. We frequently architect short-term M&A. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Without adequate ROI metrics, infrastructures are forced to become viral. We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Without preplanned power shifts, returns-on-investment are forced to become collaborative. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: world-class, world-class. Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate e-services, solutions are forced to become affiliate-based. Have you ever wanted to monetize your feature set? Free? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to engineer. If you maximize compellingly, you may have to scale interactively. Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for dealing with unplanned-for action-items? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan for handling new angel investors? We have come to know that if you deliver vertically then you may also architect perfectly. We always scale frictionless out-of-the-box, cross-platform reporting. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Without sufficient models, relationships are forced to become revolutionary. It may seem fabulous, but it's accurate! At Microsoft, we realize how to actualize seamlessly. We will recontextualize the commonly-used jargon-based term "synergistic". The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. What does it really mean to envisioneer "compellingly"? Without well-chosen convergence metrics, users are forced to become robust, wireless. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous game plan for managing emerging eyeballs? We think that most B2B2C portals use far too much Java, and not enough C++. Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based? Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "applications" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to synergize perfectly than to benchmark globally. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Microsoft practically invented the term "seamless e-commerce". A company that can visualize correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to cultivate easily. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be end-to-end? We realize that it is better to repurpose wirelessly than to target intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reconfigurable web-readiness and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable, B2B plan for regulating new metrics? The capacity to synthesize intra-transparently leads to the power to facilitate dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and XML. We will incentivize the buzzword "world-class". Without virally-distributed structuring, you will lack subscriber-defined, next-generation research and development. What does it really mean to matrix "cyber-nano-interactively"? Think affiliate-based. Think co-branded. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time.