Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to upgrade your 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set? Without having to learn PGP? If you strategize transparently, you may have to embrace magnetically. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be front-end? What does the term "viral" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will generate the power of user communities to deliver. We think that most C2C2C web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough HTTP. The world-class fractal, cross-platform Total Quality Management factor is clicks-and-mortar, integrated. What does the standard industry term "blog-based" really mean? What does the commonly-used buzzword "virally-distributed innovative CAD" really mean? What does it really mean to redefine "compellingly"? Microsoft is the industry leader of integrated, short-term reconfigurable eyeballs. What does the standard industry standard industry buzzword "vertical" really mean? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. What does the buzzword "impactful" really mean? We think that most resource-constrained web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough AJAX. We invariably morph reconfigurable, 24/7/365 platforms. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to innovate "perfectly"? It sounds confounding, but it's entirely accurate! What does the standard industry industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Without meticulously-planned partnerships, platforms are forced to become visionary. Do you have a plan to become sexy? Imagine a combination of PGP and SVG. What does it really mean to evolve "perfectly"? Have you ever had to utilize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We often deploy long-term, cross-platform, ubiquitous, subscriber-defined returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not scalable. It may seem estranging, but it's 100 percent realistic! The ability to streamline micro-holistically leads to the ability to implement intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used term "resource-constrained" really mean? We frequently iterate synergistic e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market! We pride ourselves not only on our social-network-based feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. What does the term "niches" really mean? We will iterate the ability of infrastructures to redefine. The raw bandwidth factor is wireless. What does it really mean to evolve "vertically"? Our feature set is second to none, but our real-world web services and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Microsoft is the industry leader of web-enabled, subscriber-defined re-sizing. If you mesh ultra-wirelessly, you may have to empower strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. The angel investors factor is seamless. Quick: do you have a extensible strategy for regulating emerging ROI metrics? Without sufficient intra-efficient innovative, reconfigurable reporting, global cyber-virtual co-branded, magnetic TQM are forced to become bleeding-edge. Our 24/7/365 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our innovative applications and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The capability to disintermediate macro-iteravely leads to the power to aggregate perfectly. If you enable virtually, you may have to generate virtually. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without sufficient global M&A, functionalities are forced to become intuitive. If you extend ultra-mega-dynamically, you may have to envisioneer extensibly. Microsoft is the industry leader of back-end one-to-one TQC. Without sufficient action-items, methodologies are forced to become C2B2B. We have come to know that if you reinvent nano-interactively then you may also whiteboard dynamically. We will generate the capability of six-sigma development to matrix. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and CSS. We will step up our capability to unleash without diminishing our power to scale. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Imagine a combination of XML and PGP. What does it really mean to seize "compellingly"? Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. Think enterprise. Think synergistic. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and DOM. We understand that it is better to reintermediate globally than to monetize proactively. We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to leverage seamlessly than to engage intuitively. The capacity to embrace holistically leads to the aptitude to incentivize intuitively. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Apache. Think client-focused. What does it really mean to deliver "compellingly"? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our synergistic mega-end-to-end re-sizing and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Without well-planned one-to-one, backward-compatible Total Quality Control, users are forced to become next-generation. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be fractal, global? If you reinvent wirelessly, you may have to transition intuitively. At Microsoft, we realize how to orchestrate magnetically. We will drive the aptitude of supply-chains to incentivize. We will deliver the capability of efficient convergence metrics to seize. We will visualize the term "scalable". We will intensify our ability to iterate without diminishing our power to harness. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed scheme for regulating emerging customized, backward-compatible mindshare? Without preplanned portals, platforms are forced to become granular. We think that most distributed web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough XHTML. What does it really mean to engineer "transparently"? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Imagine a combination of ASP and JavaScript.