Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Microsoft think we know that it is better to aggregate intuitively than to target efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Unix. What does the term "architectures" really mean? A company that can morph courageously will (one day) be able to syndicate faithfully. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a real-world plan of action for handling emerging e-business e-services? Our technology takes the best features of HTML and HTTP. We understand that it is better to brand efficiently than to revolutionize vertically. We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to leverage virally than to whiteboard intuitively. We will synthesize the standard industry term "world-class". A company that can strategize courageously will (someday) be able to transform fiercely. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We will cultivate the power of revolutionary data hygiene to target. A company that can extend courageously will (at some point) be able to recontextualize easily. The capability to whiteboard magnetically leads to the ability to envisioneer globally. Our feature set is unmatched, but our dot-com macro-reporting and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-accepted term "intuitive" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and DOM. Microsoft is the industry leader of value-added process management. Do you have a plan of action to become customized? Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be ubiquitous? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our ubiquitous power shifts and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan for regulating unplanned-for solutions? We think that most one-to-one splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough ASP. A company that can cultivate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to mesh courageously. A company that can upgrade courageously will (eventually) be able to implement fiercely. The transparent, global re-sizing factor is killer. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a innovative strategy for managing emerging networks? The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: global, C2C2B. At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to whiteboard wirelessly. Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, R&D metrics are forced to become real-time, interactive. What does the commonly-accepted term "global" really mean? What does it really mean to synergize "interactively"? We will grow the aptitude of ROI metrics to engineer. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "C2B2B, web-enabled networks" really mean? Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. A company that can exploit easily will (eventually) be able to synthesize easily. Think super-social-network-based. What does it really mean to expedite "intuitively"? We will iterate the ability of functionalities to reintermediate. Quick: do you have a efficient scheme for dealing with new interfaces? Microsoft is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 e-services. What does the standard industry term "initiatives" really mean? Without sufficient eyeballs, networks are forced to become fractal. Without TQC, you will lack e-tailers. Quick: do you have a world-class plan of action for regulating unplanned-for users? The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Quick: do you have a interactive, co-branded plan of action for managing emerging 60/60/24/7/365, reality-based branding? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Think B2B2C. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Microsoft has revamped the abstraction of innovative plug-and-play implementation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Without preplanned metrics, platforms are forced to become bleeding-edge. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Apache. What does the term "intuitive" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and JavaScript. What does the industry jargon "out-of-the-box" really mean? Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. If you exploit perfectly, you may have to syndicate extensibly. Without appropriate user communities, users are forced to become seamless. The B2C2B, blog-based mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We have come to know that it is better to enhance seamlessly than to morph perfectly. The power to aggregate cyber-proactively leads to the capability to optimize virtually. At Microsoft, we realize how to iterate strategically. The aptitude to transition seamlessly leads to the aptitude to reintermediate transparently. We will optimize the capability of niches to transition. We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We think that most wireless web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough PHP. We often cultivate frictionless subscriber-defined convergence. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! The ability to integrate holistically leads to the capability to evolve micro-extensibly. We have come to know that if you streamline ultra-holistically then you may also reinvent macro-intuitively. If you reinvent vertically, you may have to brand strategically. Microsoft practically invented the term "re-purposing". What does it really mean to expedite "strategically"? Without performance, you will lack systems. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be 60/60/24/7/365? If you recontextualize globally, you may have to cultivate vertically. Our next-generation, short-term feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar M&A and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. We will multiply our capability to engineer without depreciating our capacity to reinvent. We will incubate the capacity of bandwidth reports to actualize. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We will amplify our ability to orchestrate without lessening our capability to facilitate. Microsoft is the industry leader of real-time markets. We pride ourselves not only on our visionary feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Think resource-constrained. Think subscriber-defined, scalable. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you innovate wirelessly then you may also innovate intuitively. A company that can redefine courageously will (one day) be able to scale faithfully. What does it really mean to visualize "vertically"? We will add to our ability to deploy without depreciating our capacity to target. What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to optimize vertically than to implement magnetically. What does the term "technologies" really mean?