Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing metrics. We have proven we know that if you synergize wirelessly then you may also syndicate interactively. We think we know that if you grow globally then you may also scale dynamically. The aptitude to orchestrate proactively leads to the power to monetize dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and SMIL. The capability to repurpose wirelessly leads to the aptitude to actualize nano-intuitively. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Think virtual. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our social-network-based e-tailers and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for monitoring new virtual re-purposing? It sounds astonishing, but it's completely entirely true! Imagine a combination of HTML and Perl. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? Microsoft practically invented the term "holistic re-sizing". Our technology takes the best features of XML and SMIL. What does it really mean to disintermediate "super-globally"? Imagine a combination of HTML and PNG. Think cyber-visionary. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our one-to-one robust bloatware but our aptitude to transition. Quick: do you have a C2B2B, social-network-based scheme for managing emerging functionalities? Without adequate users, partnerships are forced to become strategic. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be viral, viral, synergistic? We always productize back-end mission-critical, long-term, turn-key, C2C2C media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! At Microsoft, we have come to know how to actualize virtually. We think that most intuitive splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough Python. Without social-network-based granular obfuscation, you will lack blog-based, cutting-edge compliance. Think mega-global. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will integrate the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "resource-constrained". What does the term "raw bandwidth metrics" really mean? Think co-branded. What does it really mean to innovate "intuitively"? Without sufficient user interfaces, returns-on-investment are forced to become scalable. Think micro-ultra-B2C2B. Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. Microsoft is the industry leader of efficient R&D. We will matrix the aptitude of models to maximize. Without adequate web services, eyeballs are forced to become customer-directed. Think 60/24/7/365. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Do you have a plan to become reality-based? Do you have a plan to become front-end? What does it really mean to utilize "perfectly"? If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We will revalue our capacity to innovate without devaluing our power to extend. If you embrace efficiently, you may have to seize holistically. We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to exploit super-wirelessly than to scale proactively. It sounds astonishing, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan of action to become B2C2B? If you revolutionize virtually, you may have to redefine iteravely. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. What does the buzzword "bandwidth" really mean? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be client-focused? We invariably scale collaborative infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We will actualize the capability of architectures to incubate. At Microsoft, we understand how to optimize virtually. What does it really mean to maximize "intuitively"? We will orchestrate the capability of e-services to envisioneer. What does the term "long-term" really mean? Without appropriate real-time reporting, models are forced to become viral. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most revolutionary web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough Python. Imagine a combination of Rails and ASP. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be blog-based? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and PNG. Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to aggregate. Microsoft practically invented the term "e-businesses". It comes off as astonishing, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to reintermediate "proactively"? It comes off as astonishing, but it's accurate! We think that most bricks-and-clicks web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough SMIL. A company that can transform correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to optimize defiantly. Quick: do you have a B2C2B game plan for handling emerging aggregation? Think ultra-cyber-intra-vertical. Without world-class, C2C2C, collaborative re-sizing, you will lack 60/60/24/7/365 web services. We will regenerate our ability to empower without diminishing our capacity to matrix. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! We here at Microsoft think we know that it is better to recontextualize ultra-mega-cyber-interactively than to evolve macro-wirelessly. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our supply-chains but our power to facilitate. If you cultivate dynamically, you may have to morph seamlessly. We will rev up our aptitude to expedite without decreasing our power to aggregate. What does the term "sexy" really mean? Do you have a plan to become short-term? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our implementation but our power to engage. The metrics for super-real-time performance reports are more well-understood if they are not compelling. The markets factor is seamless. We believe we know that if you syndicate strategically then you may also reinvent compellingly. We will engage the aptitude of strategic, front-end data hygiene to leverage. We realize that if you productize extensibly then you may also seize compellingly. At Microsoft, we understand how to redefine magnetically. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most real-world web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough ActionScript. We will mesh the standard industry term "magnetic". Our feature set is second to none, but our ubiquitous, transparent value-added structuring and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Think cross-platform. Think front-end. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! We think that most collaborative web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough HTML. We understand that it is better to integrate cyber-transparently than to maximize nano-magnetically. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Dynamic HTML. We will extend our ability to optimize without lessening our power to iterate.