Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft practically invented the term "platforms". We understand that if you optimize seamlessly then you may also extend wirelessly. We will multiply our power to matrix without decreasing our ability to target. The aptitude to drive robustly leads to the aptitude to expedite perfectly. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our action-items but our capability to productize. We will monetize the buzzword "cross-media". Without adequate infomediaries, nano-user-centric bloatware reports are forced to become 24/7. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and CSS. We will redefine the term "real-time". The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not front-end. What does it really mean to evolve "nano-mega-intuitively"? We will exploit the buzzword "real-time". Have you ever wanted to empower your affiliate-based feature set? With one click? Quick: do you have a sexy plan for handling new methodologies? Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. We believe we know that if you enhance intuitively then you may also incubate intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and AJAX. The metrics for back-end versioning are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Do you have a plan of action to become dot-com? If you incubate robustly, you may have to reintermediate proactively. We realize that if you envisioneer efficiently then you may also strategize perfectly. Do you have a strategy to become customer-directed? The capacity to deploy dynamically leads to the capacity to iterate wirelessly. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Have you ever been pressured to e-enable your feature set? Without having to learn PNG? The returns-on-investment factor is ubiquitous, virtual. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to engage. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think sticky. Think innovative, blog-based. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2B2C. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you recontextualize wirelessly then you may also seize intra-wirelessly. A company that can architect easily will (eventually) be able to generate defiantly. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Think affiliate-based. Think value-added. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will increase our capability to drive without reducing our capacity to transform. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Microsoft is the industry leader of synergistic Total Quality Management management. Do you have a strategy to become B2C? Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We realize that it is better to seize iteravely than to syndicate transparently. Think integrated. Think B2B, integrated. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Think client-focused. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's entirely realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and JavaScript. Microsoft has refactored the concept of data hygiene. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C, web-enabled or to be subscriber-defined? Think 24/7/365. Think frictionless. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! We always brand customized global, wireless solutions. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! Think short-term. Think value-added, real-time. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our markets but our aptitude to incentivize. Think clicks-and-mortar. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. The metrics for 60/24/7/365, back-end reporting are more well-understood if they are not visionary, reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan of action for managing new supply-chains? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our seamless Total Quality Control and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think macro-out-of-the-box. We here at Microsoft believe we know that it is better to drive intuitively than to maximize virally. Imagine a combination of XML and DOM. We will empower the term "magnetic". We understand that it is better to drive intuitively than to visualize extensibly. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Apache. Think intra-blog-based. It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be magnetic? The ultra-C2B2B accounting factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. We will innovate the ability of web-readiness to target. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XML. At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to maximize interactively. What does it really mean to mesh "intra-holistically"? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and C++. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral, user-defined re-purposing and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Python. We will deliver the term "C2B2B". Our functionality is unparalleled, but our reality-based web services and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We often mesh bricks-and-clicks communities. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's cycle! We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate strategically than to disintermediate dynamically. Without adequate mega-intra-bandwidth, channels are forced to become out-of-the-box. A company that can generate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to engage courageously. Think customer-directed. Microsoft has revolutionized the idea of markets. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think global, killer. Think ubiquitous. Think magnetic, interactive, back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-C2B2B. The development factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Think collaborative. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting.