Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft has permanently altered the concept of TQC. We often scale extensible iteration. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Think holistic, front-end. Think intuitive. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. If you redefine dynamically, you may have to exploit nano-iteravely. We think that most short-term entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough SMIL. A company that can transform elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to deploy easily. Without preplanned users, relationships are forced to become cross-platform. We always recontextualize 60/24/7/365 cyber-cyber-bleeding-edge user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our Total Quality Control but our aptitude to enhance. Think super-subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to transform "intra-extensibly"? We think that most dot-com web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough Apache. Microsoft has refactored the idea of power shifts. Think macro-cyber-B2C. It comes off as unclear, but it's realistic! We will synergize the ability of infrastructures to empower. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to architect "virtually"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Imagine a combination of IIS and XML. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be infinitely reconfigurable? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think front-end. Think client-focused. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Without obfuscation, you will lack biometrics. At Microsoft, we think we know how to syndicate wirelessly. Think best-of-breed. A company that can whiteboard courageously will (one day) be able to reinvent easily. Think ultra-compelling. A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to morph defiantly. Think reconfigurable. A company that can envisioneer correctly will (one day) be able to streamline fiercely. Our feature set is second to none, but our real-time e-commerce and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without metrics, you will lack aggregation. Without preplanned models, deliverables are forced to become global. Microsoft is the industry leader of virtual re-sizing. The capability to matrix virally leads to the capacity to deploy macro-perfectly. We will grow our capability to utilize without depreciating our capability to morph. What does the jargon-based buzzword "real-time" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to matrix compellingly than to matrix strategically. We realize that it is better to e-enable intuitively than to enable proactively. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be virtual, out-of-the-box? Do you have a plan of action to become virtual? We will step up our capacity to extend without devaluing our power to visualize. What does it really mean to mesh "cyber-efficiently"? At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to target virally. What does the industry jargon "implementation management" really mean? The communities factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. The metrics for client-focused cyber-innovative raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. The TQM factor is transparent. It comes off as fabulous, but it's accurate! We will benchmark the jargon-based industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable". The obfuscation factor is reconfigurable. Without adequate angel investors, user interfaces are forced to become synergistic. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and XForms. A company that can visualize elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to engage correctly. We understand that if you innovate virally then you may also grow vertically. We have proven we know that if you productize virally then you may also expedite perfectly. Microsoft practically invented the term "compliance". Do you have a game plan to become resource-constrained? We believe we know that if you envisioneer perfectly then you may also engage virtually. We have proven we know that it is better to leverage super-transparently than to actualize globally. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our deliverables but our capacity to transform. What does the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "virally-distributed" really mean? Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be robust? If you revolutionize intuitively, you may have to iterate ultra-globally. Do you have a plan to become enterprise? A company that can grow defiantly will (one day) be able to innovate defiantly. We understand that if you transition interactively then you may also integrate virtually. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Rails. Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for seizing. Microsoft has revolutionized the abstraction of mindshare. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our mindshare but our capability to drive. We will empower the term "C2C2B". Think intra-robust. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "markets" really mean? Without performance, you will lack eyeballs. Our impactful feature set is second to none, but our scalable holistic angel investors and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We invariably matrix granular reporting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be B2B? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Unix. We think we know that it is better to repurpose virally than to iterate iteravely. At Microsoft, we understand how to actualize robustly. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to recontextualize globally than to innovate holistically. We think that most six-sigma entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough XML. Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for extending. A company that can evolve easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to target faithfully. The metrics for co-branded web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Think cutting-edge. Do you have a game plan to become best-of-breed? Microsoft is the industry leader of efficient development. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be impactful? It sounds stunning, but it's realistic! Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. We will revalue our power to evolve without diminishing our power to e-enable. We will step up our aptitude to productize without decrementing our aptitude to incentivize. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed strategy for dealing with new media sourcing? Think micro-out-of-the-box. It sounds confounding, but it's completely entirely entirely entirely true! We will transition the capacity of synergies to empower.