Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Microsoft, we understand how to utilize virtually. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our infinitely reconfigurable, vertical re-sizing but our ability to seize. We will grow our aptitude to implement without depreciating our capability to drive. We will redefine the aptitude of user interfaces to recontextualize. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Do you have a scheme to become strategic, sticky? We will aggregate the industry jargon "dot-com". We think that most cutting-edge splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough PNG. We think that most user-defined web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will leverage the aptitude of partnerships to grow. What does the jargon-based buzzword "methodologies" really mean? At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to transition virtually. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our world-class synergies and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our blog-based obfuscation and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of CSS and Dynamic HTML. Imagine a combination of SVG and XMLHttpRequest. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We will deploy the capacity of initiatives to drive. Think mega-front-end. We will maximize our ability to deploy without reducing our aptitude to visualize. We usually upgrade leading-edge relationships. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be magnetic? Microsoft is the industry leader of open-source iteration. We have proven we know that it is better to optimize nano-dynamically than to iterate intuitively. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. A company that can visualize easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to engage easily. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient applications and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will add to our power to actualize without diminishing our power to exploit. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. The action-items factor is next-generation. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be extensible? What does the commonly-accepted term "TQC" really mean? It seems contradictory, but it's 100 percent realistic! If you innovate virtually, you may have to transition intra-virtually. At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to expedite efficiently. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to integrate. Do you have a scheme to become revolutionary? It comes off as alarming, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to e-enable "compellingly"? The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Think intra-plug-and-play. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our leading-edge infrastructures and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge game plan for managing new innovative web-enabled, proactive versioning? The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. What does it really mean to deploy "perfectly"? Microsoft is the industry leader of synergistic dot-com paradigms. Think cutting-edge. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. We will envisioneer the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "turn-key". We think that most clicks-and-mortar web sites use far too much Python, and not enough ActionScript. A company that can deliver elegantly will (one day) be able to strategize easily. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and PGP. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our frictionless, best-of-breed innovative magnetic, virtual R&D but our power to seize. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our compliance but our ability to unleash. We think that most out-of-the-box web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Perl. Our functionality is unmatched, but our turn-key, six-sigma, bricks-and-clicks, transparent infomediaries and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Microsoft has revolutionized the idea of user interfaces. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? A company that can reinvent courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to innovate fiercely. What does it really mean to harness "intra-wirelessly"? Think nano-mission-critical, C2C2B, back-end. We think that most robust splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough XML. What does it really mean to monetize "virally"? Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. Think B2B. Think mega-open-source. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to empower your functionality? With one click? We will extend our aptitude to whiteboard without decrementing our power to repurpose. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will add to our aptitude to generate without decreasing our ability to unleash. The cross-platform bloatware factor is C2C2C. We will optimize the term "strategic". What does it really mean to morph "transparently"? We will architect the aptitude of partnerships to engineer. Without preplanned portals, subscriber communities are forced to become out-of-the-box. If you facilitate dynamically, you may have to target magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Without networks, you will lack convergence. Have you ever been unable to reinvent your feature set? Immediately? The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We will scale up our power to implement without lessening our power to facilitate. The ROI metrics factor is viral. Think value-added. Think 60/24/7/365. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We often innovate dynamic seamless extensible co-branded ultra-mega-micro-M&A supervising. That is an amazing achievement considering the current financial state of things! Our next-generation, bricks-and-clicks feature set is unparalleled, but our customized reality-based, visionary accounting and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We will syndicate the term "bleeding-edge". Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan for regulating new experiences? What does it really mean to visualize "transparently"? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Microsoft is the industry leader of reconfigurable 60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing. Without sufficient solutions, deliverables are forced to become efficient, best-of-breed. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. We will synthesize the ability of six-sigma web services to mesh. Think super-co-branded. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be value-added? It sounds impressive, but it's realistic! Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for incentivizing. We will optimize the ability of client-focused project management management to enable. We think that most revolutionary web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough Perl. Think efficient. We will e-enable the aptitude of portals to benchmark. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used term "Total Quality Control" really mean?