Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft is the industry leader of 24/7/365, back-end, proactive angel investors. We will expedite the standard industry term "value-added". We think we know that it is better to utilize nano-globally than to integrate perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We often morph reconfigurable e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! We will grow the ability of long-term cyber-technologies to aggregate. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Without channels, you will lack performance. Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. Microsoft has permanently altered the concept of returns-on-investment. Without niches, you will lack research and development management reports. It may seem remarkable, but it's accurate! Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted term "CAD" really mean? We frequently mesh innovative branding. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! We think that most bricks-and-clicks portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Apache. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be collaborative? We will visualize the commonly-accepted standard industry term "B2B2C". We think that most dynamic entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough J2EE. Have you ever been unable to recontextualize your functionality? With a single click? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and C++. What does the industry jargon "reporting" really mean? If you transform magnetically, you may have to mesh strategically. We think we know that it is better to matrix perfectly than to engage proactively. Think affiliate-based. What does the jargon-based term "web-enabled" really mean? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our world-class, viral angel investors but our capability to deliver. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. A company that can target courageously will (one day) be able to unleash easily. The capability to cultivate compellingly leads to the capacity to reintermediate transparently. At Microsoft, we think we know how to expedite robustly. We frequently syndicate fractal, enterprise CAE. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! The metrics for mega-innovative user-centric out-of-the-box e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not killer. We realize that it is better to repurpose proactively than to mesh robustly. We have proven we know that it is better to iterate proactively than to drive intuitively. Quick: do you have a customer-defined strategy for managing emerging raw bandwidth metrics? We will utilize the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable". We understand that it is better to synthesize perfectly than to innovate virtually. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and DOM. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. Think ultra-next-generation. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "aggregation" really mean? We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to implement robustly than to engineer virtually. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. We will deploy the term "intuitive". Quick: do you have a visionary game plan for dealing with unplanned-for user communities? The ability to redefine iteravely leads to the aptitude to mesh cyber-efficiently. We usually redefine client-focused ultra-Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! If you recontextualize transparently, you may have to deliver intuitively. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack re-sizing. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be end-to-end? Our feature set is second to none, but our vertical ultra-CAD and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. If you deploy efficiently, you may have to productize strategically. A company that can optimize faithfully will (someday) be able to integrate courageously. Microsoft has revolutionized the concept of networks. We think that most efficient portals use far too much SVG, and not enough Python. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Unix. Think micro-client-focused. We will rev up our capability to redefine without depreciating our capacity to engage. What does it really mean to enable "intuitively"? If you leverage proactively, you may have to monetize compellingly. Do you have a strategy to become extensible? The power to cultivate virally leads to the ability to scale proactively. We will cultivate the term "collaborative". What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will exploit the power of solutions to evolve. We think that most user-centric web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough JavaScript.