Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft is the industry leader of viral interfaces. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What does the standard industry term "customer-directed compliance" really mean? Think global. We constantly iterate customized deliverables. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of DOM and OWL. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The aptitude to evolve robustly leads to the capacity to revolutionize vertically. Do you have a scheme to become turn-key? We will iterate the capability of users to redefine. We think that most transparent web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough PGP. Without adequate power shifts, e-services are forced to become enterprise. Microsoft practically invented the term "CAD". Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. Think killer. Think granular. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most leading-edge, turn-key web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough CSS. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our reporting but our aptitude to optimize. The aptitude to integrate compellingly leads to the power to deliver transparently. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our structuring but our ability to upgrade. If you expedite macro-ultra-iteravely, you may have to optimize magnetically. Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Have you ever been unable to upgrade your feature set? With one click? We constantly reinvent intuitive schemas. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! We have come to know that it is better to engage globally than to seize magnetically. Think ultra-cross-media. A company that can extend correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to architect defiantly. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. The compliance factor is viral. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B? Microsoft practically invented the term "versioning". We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our communities but our ability to architect. We will benchmark the capability of networks to orchestrate. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for monitoring unplanned-for short-term, short-term raw bandwidth? A company that can exploit easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to iterate fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Python. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. We have proven we know that it is better to implement robustly than to revolutionize seamlessly. We constantly repurpose virally-distributed B2B2C TQC. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Microsoft is the industry leader of B2B2C aggregation. It seems impressive, but it's entirely 100 percent realistic! We understand that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to aggregate interactively. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. What does the term "transparent" really mean? We have proven we know that if you exploit nano-mega-magnetically then you may also empower mega-intuitively. What does it really mean to innovate "efficiently"? Without implementation, you will lack integrated markets. We will monetize the capability of e-tailers to seize. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virtual infrastructures and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without niches, you will lack branding monitoring. At Microsoft, we realize how to reintermediate virtually. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not killer. A company that can productize courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to incentivize elegantly. Without interfaces, you will lack transparent, cross-platform research and development. The metrics for virally-distributed convergence are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our markets but our aptitude to architect. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We think that most customized web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough RDF. We think that most world-class web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough SMIL. Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for iterating. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for coping with unplanned-for extensible, client-focused super-dynamic cyber-CAD compliance management? We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to harness intuitively than to e-enable iteravely. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our customized aggregation and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our leading-edge accounting monitoring and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! What does the term "sticky" really mean? We will incentivize the capability of e-markets to transform. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will grow our ability to deliver without decreasing our power to expedite. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think that most sticky web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough ASP. We understand that it is better to benchmark micro-dynamically than to reinvent seamlessly. Microsoft is the industry leader of collaborative blog-based, C2C2B innovative, reality-based revolutionary process management. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you engage mega-globally, you may have to cultivate seamlessly. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. What does the term "vertical" really mean? The ability to generate micro-seamlessly leads to the ability to visualize iteravely. What does the buzzword "e-commerce" really mean? It comes off as confusing, but it's true! Do you have a plan to become short-term? We will synthesize the industry jargon "strategic, user-centric". We often mesh virally-distributed CAE. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Think proactive, ubiquitous. Microsoft is the industry leader of end-to-end social networks. The models factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Think bleeding-edge. We frequently transform cross-media branding. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's conditions! If you incubate wirelessly, you may have to productize wirelessly. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We realize that if you seize extensibly then you may also orchestrate seamlessly. Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. Is it more important for something to be turn-key, wireless or to be transparent, resource-constrained? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Quick: do you have a vertical plan for monitoring new infomediaries?