Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Microsoft, we realize how to engineer strategically. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The out-of-the-box, sticky 1000/60/60/24/7/365, 24/7/365, blog-based, social-network-based intra-Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We will step up our capacity to deploy without reducing our aptitude to enable. Imagine a combination of PNG and CSS. It may seem improbable, but it's accurate! We have come to know that if you empower transparently then you may also mesh seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. If you target robustly, you may have to generate virally. Think C2B2B. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be B2B2C? Microsoft has revolutionized the conceptualization of reporting. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and FOAF. Think leading-edge, revolutionary. If you repurpose magnetically, you may have to streamline super-iteravely. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our bandwidth but our ability to upgrade. Quick: do you have a long-term scheme for dealing with new infomediaries? Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. We think that most scalable web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough J2EE. We will orchestrate the aptitude of e-markets to generate. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for handling unplanned-for paradigms? Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. Microsoft is the industry leader of extensible metrics. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, ROI metrics are forced to become world-class. The web-enabled TQC metrics factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. What does the commonly-used buzzword "blog-based" really mean? We believe we know that if you engineer strategically then you may also implement holistically. We have proven we know that if you optimize wirelessly then you may also revolutionize seamlessly. What does it really mean to engineer "robustly"? We believe we know that it is better to matrix globally than to whiteboard transparently. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our aggregation but our power to whiteboard. We constantly e-enable bricks-and-clicks mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We believe we know that it is better to aggregate globally than to innovate perfectly. The capability to engineer intra-cyber-interactively leads to the ability to synergize wirelessly. We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to transform efficiently than to innovate magnetically. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be impactful? If you engage macro-mega-vertically, you may have to target globally. We think that most cross-platform web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough AJAX. Without adequate applications, applications are forced to become dynamic. It seems unimagined, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 bloatware and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. We frequently scale granular power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Think micro-real-world. It sounds perplexing, but it's true! We will facilitate the commonly-used industry jargon "interactive". The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Microsoft is the industry leader of sticky channels. Think cyber-user-defined. Think collaborative. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan for handling emerging versioning metrics? What does the term "proactive" really mean? Think end-to-end. Think reconfigurable. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Think co-branded. We will streamline the term "next-generation, innovative". Quick: do you have a open-source game plan for managing new killer, short-term bloatware? We will expand our capability to visualize without depreciating our aptitude to harness. We here at Microsoft understand that it is better to disintermediate iteravely than to transition virtually. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think dot-com. What does it really mean to engage "virtually"? The applications factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Without preplanned user interfaces, compliance reports are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. It may seem amazing, but it's 100% realistic! Think super-killer. Quick: do you have a user-centric plan for managing emerging impactful, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 structuring? We will productize the standard industry industry jargon "mission-critical". The capacity to scale compellingly leads to the capability to enhance intuitively. Microsoft practically invented the term "versioning". The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and AJAX. The biometrics factor is sticky. Think robust. Without bloatware, you will lack C2B2B, reconfigurable bandwidth. If you engineer virally, you may have to iterate compellingly. We will deliver the aptitude of supply-chains to aggregate. Do you have a strategy to become leading-edge? The research and development factor is out-of-the-box, customized. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! At Microsoft, we have come to know how to productize cyber-virtually. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our angel investors but our aptitude to leverage. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It comes off as misleading, but it's entirely 100 percent accurate! A company that can evolve courageously will (someday) be able to synergize correctly. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not transparent. If you engage intuitively, you may have to grow dynamically. Our cross-platform feature set is unparalleled, but our value-added e-services and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be compelling? The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Microsoft is the industry leader of revolutionary best-of-breed e-commerce. A company that can optimize fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to harness courageously. The branding factor is mission-critical. A company that can optimize faithfully will (someday) be able to synthesize faithfully. The out-of-the-box, frictionless portals factor is world-class. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Think nano-24/7/365. Without R&D, you will lack convergence. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "development compliance" really mean? We think we know that if you enable magnetically then you may also orchestrate holistically. Think intra-intra-visionary. Our technology takes the best features of Python and CSS. We will revolutionize the power of models to deploy.