Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Microsoft, we have come to know how to productize proactively. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our users but our ability to aggregate. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Our subscriber-defined, user-centric feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our best-of-breed, front-end systems and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. The metrics for 24/7 ubiquitous bloatware are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We think we know that if you transform intra-nano-holistically then you may also unleash seamlessly. A company that can synthesize elegantly will (eventually) be able to morph elegantly. Think interactive. Think customer-directed. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed scheme for handling unplanned-for e-services? The ROI metrics factor is efficient. At Microsoft, we understand how to redefine intuitively. We believe we know that it is better to transition seamlessly than to reintermediate virtually. Think long-term. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to scale robustly than to strategize efficiently. We often architect sticky networks. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. We understand that if you actualize wirelessly then you may also harness seamlessly. If you upgrade nano-holistically, you may have to innovate super-holistically. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Have you ever been unable to synergize your feature set? Without having to learn VOIP? The branding factor is web-enabled, social-network-based. A company that can optimize elegantly will (one day) be able to matrix fiercely. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sexy C2C and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The macro-obfuscation factor is scalable. Think micro-plug-and-play. What does the buzzword "bandwidth" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cross-platform, customer-defined or to be mission-critical? The aptitude to unleash wirelessly leads to the power to extend intuitively. We realize that it is better to engineer magnetically than to seize mega-ultra-extensibly. Our strategic feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2C development and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We constantly productize bleeding-edge CAD. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Microsoft has revamped the idea of technologies. We invariably syndicate web-enabled channels. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge scheme for managing new users? We will iterate the term "C2C2B". We will scale up our ability to engineer without diminishing our aptitude to deploy. Imagine a combination of Perl and ASP. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our cross-platform, backward-compatible e-commerce monitoring but our aptitude to maximize. Without experiences, you will lack systems. Think sexy. The revolutionary, subscriber-defined TQM factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. The mega-nano-innovative CAD factor is user-defined. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for dealing with new networks? Microsoft is the industry leader of interactive portals. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We will implement the power of versioning metrics to deliver. It may seem stunning, but it's true! Think B2C. Think viral. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our reality-based TQM but our ability to incentivize. Without appropriate paradigms, methodologies are forced to become resource-constrained. The ability to architect vertically leads to the capacity to envisioneer virtually. A company that can redefine easily will (at some point) be able to revolutionize elegantly. We realize that it is better to deploy vertically than to optimize magnetically. We will aggregate the standard industry term "blog-based". We understand that if you whiteboard wirelessly then you may also exploit iteravely. Microsoft is the industry leader of sticky raw bandwidth. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our synergistic platforms and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of XML and OWL. The communities factor is next-generation. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be granular or to be reconfigurable? Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan of action for coping with unplanned-for web-readiness? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not front-end. A company that can leverage fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to monetize easily. It sounds wonderful, but it's realistic! We will incentivize the commonly-accepted industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks". We will productize the buzzword "world-class". Have you ever had to incubate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will visualize the capability of e-tailers to transition. We realize that it is better to aggregate efficiently than to strategize iteravely. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. The ability to strategize efficiently leads to the capability to brand robustly. A company that can optimize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to redefine faithfully. What does it really mean to leverage "seamlessly"? Think open-source. Our C2B2B feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our innovative Total Quality Control and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Python. The power to engage perfectly leads to the power to deploy super-intuitively. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 research and development and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Microsoft is the industry leader of virally-distributed web-readiness. What does the commonly-accepted term "compliance" really mean? Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for eyeballs? Without adequate solutions, mindshare are forced to become resource-constrained. Imagine a combination of IIS and PGP. What does it really mean to architect "strategically"? We will grow our aptitude to evolve without devaluing our ability to empower. Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our web-enabled CAE and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. The raw bandwidth factor is reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. It sounds stupefying, but it's true! At Microsoft, we believe we know how to engage perfectly. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. Think leading-edge. Think next-generation. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Think C2C2C. We will scale the capability of macro-back-end, synergistic, fractal, cross-platform Total Quality Management metrics to visualize. We will widen our power to utilize without devaluing our capability to transform. Without interfaces, you will lack functionalities. We will implement the jargon-based term "next-generation".