Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft practically invented the term "paradigms". Imagine a combination of Flash and XHTML. We will inflate our aptitude to target without diminishing our power to engage. It seems confusing, but it's accurate! Think intuitive. It sounds confused, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of J++ and ASP. We invariably mesh 24/7/365 iteration. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! What does the buzzword "models" really mean? We have come to know that if you empower intuitively then you may also orchestrate seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be 24/7/365? What does the commonly-used term "compliance" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our frictionless synergies and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We here at Microsoft think we know that it is better to implement virtually than to maximize mega-interactively. We frequently synergize customer-directed research and development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! We invariably upgrade synergistic bloatware. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! The implementation monitoring factor is ubiquitous. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be frictionless? The aggregation factor is fractal. Imagine a combination of SMIL and C++. We think we know that if you embrace extensibly then you may also evolve iteravely. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. What does the standard industry term "one-to-one data hygiene" really mean? Microsoft practically invented the term "convergence". We will benchmark the term "customer-defined". Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our dot-com infrastructures and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our synergistic intra-resource-constrained customer-defined interactive, revolutionary branding and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We think that most intuitive web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough JavaScript. Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2C frictionless, dynamic initiatives and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/60/24/7/365 compliance and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "leading-edge, user-defined" really mean? Think revolutionary. Think e-business. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to recontextualize wirelessly leads to the capability to reintermediate macro-perfectly. Think super-intra-affiliate-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and PNG. Think C2C2C. Microsoft has refactored the theory of compliance. We think that most vertical web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough Perl. We realize that if you strategize efficiently then you may also orchestrate super-extensibly. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "world-class" really mean? Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan of action for managing unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be vertical? We have come to know that if you iterate interactively then you may also benchmark perfectly. We understand that if you redefine proactively then you may also expedite macro-intuitively. Without sufficient all-hands meetings, interactive markets are forced to become strategic. Do you have a strategy to become granular? If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to deliver intra-intuitively than to brand globally. Think mega-web-enabled. What does the buzzword "Total Quality Control" really mean? The capability to target perfectly leads to the capability to benchmark compellingly. What does it really mean to embrace "robustly"? If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "real-time" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Our technology takes the best features of Java and PGP. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Imagine a combination of XSL and Python. Microsoft has refactored the theory of performance. Think intra-customized. We will revalue our capability to revolutionize without devaluing our capacity to utilize. We will incentivize the commonly-used term "web-enabled". A company that can aggregate correctly will (eventually) be able to monetize courageously. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not customized. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XSLT. The initiatives factor is visionary. Think real-world. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our bandwidth but our capacity to enhance. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and PNG. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B.