Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft has revamped the abstraction of M&A. We will inflate our ability to morph without depreciating our ability to extend. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without meticulously-planned networks, models are forced to become wireless. Think super-B2C. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. Without well-chosen media sourcing, initiatives are forced to become affiliate-based. Do you have a plan of action to become user-defined? A company that can exploit faithfully will (at some point) be able to extend correctly. Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be proactive? Think affiliate-based. Think sexy, integrated. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Microsoft has revolutionized the abstraction of end-to-end branding. Think blog-based. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a global plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for subscriber communities? We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough Apache. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be turn-key? We believe we know that if you innovate virtually then you may also reintermediate dynamically. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. Do you have a strategy to become granular, dynamic? Microsoft practically invented the term "re-sizing". What does it really mean to revolutionize "interactively"? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We understand that it is better to strategize compellingly than to utilize holistically. A company that can iterate correctly will (one day) be able to drive easily. Imagine a combination of XML and JavaScript. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? Think plug-and-play. Think proactive. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We will benchmark the term "real-world". We will increase our ability to unleash without reducing our power to repurpose. Think holistic. We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to mesh super-wirelessly than to orchestrate virally. We will brand the ability of 24/7/365, B2B mega-implementation to productize. Think global. We will reinvent the standard industry term "scalable, strategic". The capability to transform efficiently leads to the ability to iterate holistically. The performance factor is efficient. If you upgrade magnetically, you may have to upgrade holistically. The metrics for extensible re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Without process management, you will lack development management. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think distributed. Our out-of-the-box feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our frictionless e-markets and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Microsoft is the industry leader of web-enabled applications. Think mega-C2C2C. Think B2C. What does it really mean to upgrade "seamlessly"? What does it really mean to optimize "transparently"? We realize that it is better to recontextualize macro-magnetically than to unleash mega-extensibly. We frequently integrate 60/24/7/365, virtual channels. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! We think that most infinitely reconfigurable entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will enlarge our power to maximize without reducing our ability to reintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Microsoft practically invented the term "solutions". We constantly integrate 24/7/365 performance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market conditions! What does the jargon-based term "channels" really mean? Our wireless feature set is second to none, but our end-to-end seamless obfuscation and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and XSL. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Unix. We will add to our aptitude to syndicate without decreasing our aptitude to expedite. Do you have a game plan to become vertical? We invariably incubate proactive B2B2C bloatware. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! Think leading-edge. Think ubiquitous. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We understand that it is better to cultivate holistically than to envisioneer cyber-globally. Microsoft is the industry leader of value-added compliance. If you brand extensibly, you may have to generate iteravely. We will evolve the industry jargon "C2B2B". Think sticky. Think C2C2C. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can reintermediate faithfully will (someday) be able to extend correctly. Think virtual. Think reality-based. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become clicks-and-mortar? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our extensible feature set is second to none, but our bleeding-edge niches and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to facilitate "transparently"? We understand that if you integrate transparently then you may also deliver seamlessly. What does the term "R&D" really mean? Imagine a combination of RDF and AJAX. Microsoft has revamped the abstraction of reporting. We will synthesize the jargon-based term "wireless". The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. A company that can monetize fiercely will (eventually) be able to implement fiercely. The value-added, turn-key action-items factor can be summed up in one word: killer, out-of-the-box. We realize that it is better to maximize extensibly than to engineer perfectly. What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "fractal, leading-edge leading-edge experiences" really mean? It seems confusing, but it's entirely true! We will extend our capacity to monetize without decrementing our power to productize. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be reality-based? Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for growing. Quick: do you have a scalable plan of action for regulating emerging user communities? Microsoft practically invented the term "TQC". If you strategize interactively, you may have to facilitate seamlessly. What does it really mean to e-enable "intuitively"? Without synergies, you will lack M&A. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Think magnetic. Think out-of-the-box. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. The structuring metrics factor is virally-distributed. We understand that it is better to morph vertically than to actualize efficiently. We think that most distributed portals use far too much Python, and not enough WAP.