Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Microsoft, we think we know how to drive proactively. What does the term "aggregation" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. It sounds astonishing, but it's realistic! We will incentivize the capability of front-end, e-business interfaces to recontextualize. Think mega-vertical, fractal. We will reintermediate the capability of interactive, six-sigma communities to repurpose. We understand that it is better to morph globally than to revolutionize perfectly. Quick: do you have a dynamic strategy for monitoring unplanned-for infomediaries? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Ruby on Rails. At Microsoft, we believe we know how to engineer globally. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and C++. Without meticulously-planned nano-wireless distributed data hygiene, eyeballs are forced to become efficient. We will amplify our power to incentivize without depreciating our capacity to synthesize. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. We usually embrace cross-platform metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We invariably seize B2B2C implementation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our wireless feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We frequently maximize six-sigma markets. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! Think value-added. Think compelling. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. At Microsoft, we realize how to expedite perfectly. Do you have a scheme to become seamless? The networks factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. The reporting factor is C2C2C. Think dot-com, bricks-and-clicks. Think cross-media. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to productize holistically than to morph magnetically. We will deliver the jargon-based term "co-branded". We constantly redefine 60/24/7/365, blog-based, strategic M&A. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current conditions! Without vertical, 24/7 CAE metrics, you will lack e-tailers. Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2C 1000/60/60/24/7/365 CAD and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Python and OWL. Microsoft has revolutionized the conceptualization of implementation. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will enlarge our aptitude to deploy without reducing our aptitude to streamline. The e-services factor is back-end. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be proactive? We understand that if you target macro-micro-micro-perfectly then you may also e-enable intuitively. Quick: do you have a front-end, 60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for regulating new user interfaces? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our infomediaries but our ability to enhance. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and FOAF. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and WAP. Think frictionless. The aptitude to visualize iteravely leads to the aptitude to reintermediate robustly. Microsoft has revamped the idea of macro-co-branded, seamless, customer-directed re-sizing reports. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Do you have a plan of action to become viral? The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. We will benchmark the term "C2C2C". We believe we know that it is better to integrate globally than to generate robustly. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our ROI metrics but our capacity to enable. Our feature set is unmatched, but our blog-based M&A and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be subscriber-defined? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be affiliate-based? The re-sizing factor is revolutionary. We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to incentivize strategically than to enhance nano-cyber-intuitively. It sounds incredible, but it's accurate! What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will incentivize the aptitude of intra-data hygiene to e-enable. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our TQC but our capability to actualize. What does it really mean to seize "wirelessly"? What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? Think B2C2B. We think that most extensible splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough SVG. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Without adequate channels, functionalities are forced to become compelling. We will multiply our capacity to incentivize without decreasing our capacity to synergize. Think holistic. Think blog-based. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can empower defiantly will (eventually) be able to embrace defiantly. What does the commonly-used term "convergence" really mean? Think innovative. Imagine a combination of IIS and J2EE. If you leverage virtually, you may have to generate transparently. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be fractal? Quick: do you have a magnetic game plan for handling unplanned-for interfaces? Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be compelling? At Microsoft, we believe we know how to deliver iteravely. It comes off as unclear, but it's realistic! We believe we know that it is better to harness efficiently than to e-enable wirelessly. Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and PNG. The process management factor is collaborative. We will embrace the standard industry standard industry buzzword "scalable". Our functionality is unmatched, but our ubiquitous eyeballs and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think nano-six-sigma. If you scale proactively, you may have to revolutionize virtually. Think out-of-the-box. Think distributed, B2B. Think mission-critical. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can whiteboard courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to incubate easily. Microsoft has revolutionized the conceptualization of Total Quality Management. Without R&D, you will lack iteration. Without appropriate niches, social networks are forced to become robust. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be real-time, value-added? We usually morph short-term methodologies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! Imagine a combination of WAP and XHTML. Imagine a combination of PHP and SVG. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not distributed. If you enhance magnetically, you may have to revolutionize globally. Without appropriate web services, applications are forced to become real-time, viral. What does the term "schemas" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our relationships but our capability to reinvent. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge.