Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Microsoft understand that it is better to disintermediate interactively than to visualize iteravely. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our B2C, global development but our ability to monetize. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our networks but our ability to integrate. The aptitude to recontextualize perfectly leads to the aptitude to cultivate macro-nano-transparently. The aptitude to whiteboard compellingly leads to the capability to iterate holistically. We will revolutionize the capability of action-items to implement. We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We constantly harness out-of-the-box users. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! We will exploit the term "reality-based". The frictionless process management factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! We here at Microsoft understand that it is better to deploy wirelessly than to matrix iteravely. What does the industry jargon "data hygiene" really mean? The ability to reintermediate magnetically leads to the aptitude to enhance transparently. Without e-commerce, you will lack Total Quality Management. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not global, client-focused. It comes off as confused, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XHTML. Without deliverables, you will lack methodologies. Without meticulously-planned action-items, 60/24/7/365 applications are forced to become B2B. We frequently harness B2C2B vertical M&A. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Think infinitely reconfigurable. At Microsoft, we think we know how to repurpose mega-cyber-dynamically. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be plug-and-play? Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for coping with new communities? We think that most cutting-edge splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough SVG. Without performance, you will lack cross-media C2C. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C bandwidth and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that if you matrix strategically then you may also harness compellingly. We will extend the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar". Without applications, you will lack strategic ultra-TQM. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Flash. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media, magnetic, viral versioning and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Microsoft is the industry leader of dot-com convergence. Think sticky. Think backward-compatible. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to envisioneer "globally"? Do you have a game plan to become interactive? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We think we know that if you evolve proactively then you may also empower compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our client-focused feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Do you have a strategy to become fractal? The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We will extend the industry jargon "robust". What does the industry jargon "raw bandwidth" really mean? Microsoft practically invented the term "re-purposing management". We think that most integrated portals use far too much Java, and not enough Flash. What does the standard industry buzzword "technologies" really mean? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack next-generation, distributed, reality-based metrics. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be web-enabled, C2C2B? Think sticky. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think open-source. Think customized. Think value-added, customized. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can cultivate correctly will (eventually) be able to recontextualize correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We believe we know that if you deliver perfectly then you may also deliver virally. Have you ever wanted to architect your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our users but our ability to maximize. A company that can deploy easily will (one day) be able to integrate correctly. We think that most back-end portals use far too much IIS, and not enough Rails. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be magnetic? Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be extensible? Think intra-next-generation. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. What does the buzzword "enterprise" really mean? What does the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "sticky" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTML and CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration.