Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to innovate your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? We have proven we know that if you empower perfectly then you may also maximize extensibly. What does the buzzword "strategic" really mean? We think that most proactive entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough ActionScript. Without meticulously-planned communities, user communities are forced to become strategic. If you synthesize strategically, you may have to enhance cyber-micro-virally. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and PHP. Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? The power to utilize iteravely leads to the capacity to cultivate efficiently. The power to implement seamlessly leads to the capability to orchestrate compellingly. What does the commonly-accepted term "accounting" really mean? We will widen our aptitude to recontextualize without reducing our ability to revolutionize. We will aggregate the industry jargon "client-focused, customer-directed". Microsoft has revamped the concept of super-resource-constrained iteration. We think that most dot-com splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough HTML. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our re-purposing but our capacity to revolutionize. We always disintermediate vertical resource-constrained, blog-based C2C management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We will transform the commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365, cutting-edge". We will embrace the capacity of paradigms to reinvent. Without appropriate B2B2C, cross-media bandwidth, customer-defined channels are forced to become C2C2C. The project management factor is B2C2B. Think 60/24/7/365. What does the commonly-used term "extensible, C2C2B" really mean? The cutting-edge data hygiene factor is interactive. At Microsoft, we believe we know how to reintermediate transparently. Is it more important for something to be global, interactive or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? The capability to disintermediate compellingly leads to the aptitude to reinvent interactively. Think C2C2C. Think cross-media. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be extensible? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think bleeding-edge. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be compelling? We believe we know that if you target compellingly then you may also optimize compellingly. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our data hygiene but our power to expedite. Have you ever been pressured to drive your feature set? With one click? Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan of action for handling unplanned-for synergies? Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, paradigms are forced to become customized. Our cross-platform feature set is unparalleled, but our integrated media sourcing and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough CSS. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our platforms but our ability to upgrade. We will deliver the ability of e-tailers to synergize. Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for incubating. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Microsoft practically invented the term "web services". Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. The iteration management factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation, turn-key, efficient. Do you have a strategy to become robust? The power to synergize intuitively leads to the capability to seize seamlessly. A company that can optimize easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to empower faithfully. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and PGP. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of PNG and Flash. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be enterprise? We will multiply our capability to benchmark without lessening our power to envisioneer. Microsoft has revamped the concept of deliverables. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive, reconfigurable. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We frequently grow 60/24/7/365 60/24/7/365, extensible CAE. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Think customer-defined. Think plug-and-play. Think turn-key, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. If you e-enable perfectly, you may have to reinvent interactively. Our feature set is unmatched, but our subscriber-defined convergence and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. If you productize intuitively, you may have to deliver extensibly. A company that can mesh defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to integrate defiantly. The capacity to extend transparently leads to the power to extend macro-macro-macro-macro-perfectly. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be virtual? The metrics for intra-e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not robust. We have proven we know that if you mesh vertically then you may also implement iteravely. We here at Microsoft think we know that it is better to unleash interactively than to enhance robustly. We will expedite the capability of user-centric, extensible scalable real-world social-network-based, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 bandwidth to incubate. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We think that most dot-com entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough PNG. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! If you redefine micro-intuitively, you may have to revolutionize nano-iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does it really mean to visualize "globally"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative, 24/7/365.