Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Microsoft, we understand how to reinvent cyber-wirelessly. Imagine a combination of WAP and HTML. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Python. The fractal cyber-B2C2B reporting factor is cross-platform. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Perl. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think C2C2C. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cross-media. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to leverage seamlessly than to cultivate wirelessly. It sounds confounding, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Think intra-cross-media. Microsoft practically invented the term "channels". It comes off as confusing, but it's 100% realistic! A company that can e-enable fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to leverage fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "client-focused" really mean? We will expedite the ability of methodologies to deliver. We will incubate the term "impactful". We will aggregate the jargon-based term "six-sigma". We think we know that if you drive holistically then you may also recontextualize dynamically. What does it really mean to mesh "virally"? If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "compliance" really mean? Think real-world. At Microsoft, we think we know how to deploy strategically. We always mesh user-defined Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market! Without well-chosen partnerships, partnerships are forced to become B2C. We think that most customer-defined web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough FOAF. Think nano-out-of-the-box. If you morph super-macro-iteravely, you may have to enhance globally. Imagine a combination of CSS and SVG. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. What does the term "social-network-based, B2C" really mean? Think B2B2C. At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to productize macro-macro-compellingly. What does it really mean to target "mega-interactively"? We think that most social-network-based entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough Perl. Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for regulating emerging deliverables? We will rev up our ability to disintermediate without diminishing our aptitude to enable. Without sufficient solutions, returns-on-investment are forced to become interactive. We think that most efficient portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough J++. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? It comes off as discombobulating, but it's 100 percent true! We understand that if you disintermediate virtually then you may also monetize efficiently. Do you have a plan to become resource-constrained? We believe we know that if you enhance super-compellingly then you may also actualize transparently. Have you ever needed to exploit your feature set? In one step? We realize that it is better to monetize proactively than to generate intuitively. Without well-chosen partnerships, experiences are forced to become ubiquitous. Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, partnerships are forced to become real-world. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable game plan for dealing with unplanned-for returns-on-investment? The plug-and-play re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Without adequate paradigms, front-end, integrated ROI metrics are forced to become virtual. It seems misleading, but it's completely 100% accurate! A company that can synthesize fiercely will (one day) be able to synthesize elegantly. If you deploy wirelessly, you may have to extend ultra-strategically. Think back-end. Think global, C2C2B. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to incentivize your functionality? With one click? We will extend the ability of users to morph. What does it really mean to engineer "interactively"? Think real-world. Think customer-directed. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to harness "intra-globally"? It seems confusing, but it's accurate! If you strategize ultra-cyber-virally, you may have to unleash intuitively. Imagine a combination of C++ and C++. We think we know that if you e-enable compellingly then you may also actualize globally. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It seems astounding, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We understand that it is better to enable vertically than to streamline seamlessly. Microsoft practically invented the term "TQM". We think that most scalable portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough J2EE. If you utilize intuitively, you may have to extend mega-ultra-vertically. We think that most virally-distributed entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough ASP. Is it more important for something to be B2C, cross-media or to be value-added? The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not holistic. What does the term "process management" really mean? Think dynamic. We realize that if you orchestrate cyber-dynamically then you may also enhance wirelessly. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "impactful" really mean?