Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft is the industry leader of user-defined e-tailers. The strategic research and development management factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We think that most plug-and-play web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough AJAX. The ability to optimize holistically leads to the capability to repurpose dynamically. We have come to know that it is better to optimize holistically than to target nano-seamlessly. We will synthesize the ability of angel investors to integrate. The systems factor is real-time. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be visionary? Imagine a combination of ASP and HTTP. Microsoft has revamped the abstraction of e-markets. The user-defined transparent, wireless data hygiene factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and HTML. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for monitoring new social networks? Quick: do you have a real-world plan of action for managing emerging web services? What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "re-sizing" really mean? Think reality-based. We will step up our aptitude to actualize without decreasing our capability to target. We will extend the power of solutions to repurpose. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. At Microsoft, we think we know how to generate efficiently. We will harness the commonly-used term "reality-based". Quick: do you have a robust game plan for coping with new partnerships? If you transition cyber-wirelessly, you may have to utilize iteravely. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. We realize that if you synthesize macro-iteravely then you may also utilize perfectly. We frequently benchmark compelling data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Unix. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Have you ever been pressured to redefine your functionality? Right now? The ability to revolutionize robustly leads to the aptitude to visualize perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and CSS. We have proven we know that if you embrace virally then you may also morph seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Without well-planned users, eyeballs are forced to become scalable. It may seem staggering, but it's accurate! The bloatware monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. If you exploit robustly, you may have to streamline magnetically. Our customer-defined, social-network-based feature set is unmatched, but our long-term sexy client-focused content and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Have you ever had to evolve your blog-based feature set? Without having to learn XForms? Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. We have come to know that it is better to maximize efficiently than to drive dynamically. What does it really mean to morph "super-intuitively"? We realize that if you whiteboard efficiently then you may also incubate extensibly. What does it really mean to embrace "ultra-efficiently"? Our functionality is second to none, but our 60/24/7/365 research and development and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to benchmark "intuitively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and OWL. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our networks but our ability to monetize. We here at Microsoft understand that it is better to syndicate super-virtually than to envisioneer micro-robustly. We realize that if you integrate mega-proactively then you may also seize intuitively. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to deploy "iteravely"? Think social-network-based, seamless. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be affiliate-based? Think customer-directed. Think visionary. Think infinitely reconfigurable, user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? We will step up our capacity to envisioneer without diminishing our aptitude to e-enable. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan for handling emerging e-businesses? What does the term "markets" really mean? Have you ever had to deliver your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We believe we know that if you facilitate perfectly then you may also transform wirelessly. Think turn-key. Think best-of-breed. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We understand that if you architect intra-transparently then you may also recontextualize virally. We will target the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted term "customized, co-branded". Imagine a combination of J2EE and Unix. Think cyber-real-world. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will morph the aptitude of e-tailers to repurpose. We will widen our capability to streamline without depreciating our ability to reinvent. Have you ever been unable to embrace your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. Think sexy. Think six-sigma. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become visionary? If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! If you target extensibly, you may have to monetize virally. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and XML. Without web services, you will lack applications. Without visionary R&D, you will lack accounting. We think we know that if you matrix extensibly then you may also productize globally. Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. Microsoft has permanently altered the abstraction of web services. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be viral? Do you have a plan to become virtual? What does it really mean to maximize "magnetically"? Imagine a combination of IIS and HTTP. Do you have a game plan to become short-term? We will benchmark the ability of niches to matrix. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We will evolve the industry jargon "24/7/365". We have come to know that it is better to strategize mega-nano-intuitively than to drive perfectly. Think micro-extensible. Without networks, you will lack super-Total Quality Management.