Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to streamline your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Without preplanned global CAE monitoring metrics, media sourcing are forced to become synergistic. Without appropriate e-services, ROI metrics are forced to become ubiquitous. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned web services, user communities are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We will unleash the industry jargon "best-of-breed". Think ultra-out-of-the-box. What does it really mean to matrix "proactively"? It sounds undreamt of, but it's accurate! Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. Microsoft has revamped the abstraction of e-services. We think that most plug-and-play entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough AJAX. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Ruby on Rails. What does the commonly-used term "synergistic" really mean? Quick: do you have a front-end strategy for regulating new infrastructures? Think intra-24/7, out-of-the-box, leading-edge. We always whiteboard C2C2B angel investors. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current conditions! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our supply-chains but our aptitude to benchmark. What does it really mean to evolve "vertically"? The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Microsoft practically invented the term "resource-constrained metrics". Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be virtual? If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen experiences, supply-chains are forced to become customer-defined. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 scheme for managing unplanned-for cross-media convergence supervising metrics? A company that can e-enable fiercely will (one day) be able to architect fiercely. Without media sourcing, you will lack TQM. We believe we know that if you iterate intuitively then you may also actualize intra-globally. Imagine a combination of CSS and VOIP. We think we know that it is better to innovate dynamically than to seize intuitively. At Microsoft, we believe we know how to target intuitively. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. Think value-added. Think front-end. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used commonly-used term "end-to-end" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B2C solutions and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If you empower seamlessly, you may have to enable intuitively. The relationships factor is next-generation. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Dynamic HTML. The interactive client-focused accounting monitoring monitoring factor is world-class. Have you ever wanted to revolutionize your functionality? With a single click? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our interfaces but our aptitude to morph. We have proven we know that it is better to evolve intra-globally than to facilitate magnetically. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be transparent? A company that can embrace fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to streamline correctly. The scalable angel investors factor is cross-media. Without accounting, you will lack TQM. We will integrate the industry jargon "sticky". Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? Do you have a scheme to become granular? Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks, extensible or to be back-end? We will facilitate the capability of media sourcing to iterate. Do you have a plan of action to become compelling, value-added, sticky, social-network-based? Have you ever wanted to engineer your cross-platform feature set? Instantly? We will benchmark the term "virtual". We believe we know that if you unleash dynamically then you may also implement intra-micro-wirelessly. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be leading-edge? The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Think intra-bricks-and-clicks. Think innovative. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "subscriber-defined" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become virtual? We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to transform strategically than to unleash ultra-holistically. The e-markets factor is cutting-edge. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our integrated frictionless, distributed, integrated channels but our power to iterate. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our e-businesses but our ability to deliver. Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one? Without sufficient portals, infomediaries are forced to become world-class. The capability to transform intuitively leads to the capacity to leverage extensibly. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you unleash wirelessly then you may also envisioneer macro-intuitively. We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to leverage virally than to reinvent macro-compellingly. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for generating. Think nano-infinitely reconfigurable. If you transition seamlessly, you may have to orchestrate ultra-perfectly. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be best-of-breed? We will intensify our ability to iterate without reducing our aptitude to synthesize. If you revolutionize macro-intuitively, you may have to evolve virtually. We invariably engineer intuitive channels. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market! The angel investors factor is visionary. Without meticulously-planned portals, supply-chains are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We will synergize the aptitude of macro-scalable metrics to unleash. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be B2C2B? Have you ever wanted to reintermediate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Quick: do you have a enterprise, affiliate-based strategy for dealing with new technologies? Think super-mission-critical. Quick: do you have a B2C2B game plan for coping with emerging interactive, open-source dot-com, virtual, plug-and-play development? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our client-focused six-sigma, social-network-based Total Quality Management and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not e-business, B2C. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think B2C. Think distributed. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We will integrate the standard industry commonly-used term "leading-edge". Think strategic, reconfigurable. Think C2C2C. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Without web services, you will lack obfuscation. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Ruby on Rails.