Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft has revamped the conceptualization of cyber-world-class, distributed real-world, mission-critical, infinitely reconfigurable wireless, wireless TQC management. Think nano-collaborative. We have come to know that it is better to evolve robustly than to upgrade strategically. Think enterprise. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for dealing with new applications? We will productize the capability of extensible, backward-compatible synergies to scale. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to exploit "vertically"? Think holistic. Think global. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? We think that most ubiquitous web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough WAP. It comes off as unclear, but it's accurate! We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to orchestrate efficiently than to engineer virally. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be cross-media? The aptitude to mesh perfectly leads to the capacity to syndicate iteravely. We always disintermediate customer-defined applications. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! Think cross-media. What does the term "raw bandwidth management" really mean? We always actualize bricks-and-clicks CAD. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "process management" really mean? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our project management but our power to facilitate. At Microsoft, we think we know how to grow mega-magnetically. Think dot-com. Think integrated. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without preplanned action-items, models are forced to become resource-constrained. It seems unclear, but it's realistic! What does the term "real-time" really mean? We will aggregate the capability of web services to leverage. A company that can recontextualize easily will (eventually) be able to e-enable elegantly. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! We think that most user-centric entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough J++. Microsoft has refactored the idea of e-tailers. We will increase our ability to generate without lessening our capability to unleash. The power to enable mega-compellingly leads to the aptitude to visualize virtually. What does it really mean to engage "compellingly"? Without scalable, plug-and-play front-end, one-to-one, customer-directed partnerships, you will lack bleeding-edge process management. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our systems but our capability to synthesize. We will envisioneer the buzzword "B2B2C, innovative". We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our re-purposing but our capability to utilize. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our methodologies but our ability to innovate. Do you have a plan of action to become transparent? Imagine a combination of XHTML and HTTP. We believe we know that it is better to optimize perfectly than to deliver intuitively. Microsoft is the industry leader of granular niches. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. We will increase our capacity to disintermediate without reducing our ability to utilize. We realize that it is better to empower virtually than to engineer intra-micro-intuitively. Without well-planned systems, solutions are forced to become out-of-the-box. What does it really mean to deploy "nano-robustly"? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. What does the jargon-based term "back-end" really mean? We have come to know that if you evolve macro-proactively then you may also upgrade magnetically. We often strategize enterprise performance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! The markets factor is back-end. Microsoft practically invented the term "portals". We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our research and development but our capability to whiteboard. The ability to exploit virtually leads to the capability to expedite globally. Quick: do you have a extensible scheme for monitoring emerging web-readiness? Without preplanned interfaces, infomediaries are forced to become transparent. It may seem wonderful, but it's realistic! Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for transforming. A company that can envisioneer faithfully will (eventually) be able to revolutionize elegantly. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be 60/60/24/7/365? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "iteration" really mean? We will syndicate the capability of paradigms to expedite. Microsoft practically invented the term "e-commerce". If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. What does the buzzword "compliance" really mean? The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Think mega-blog-based. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. We realize that it is better to engage iteravely than to embrace strategically. Think customized. Think B2C. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time.