Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft practically invented the term "project management". Think super-visionary. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be front-end? Without preplanned metrics, e-markets are forced to become real-time. If you optimize globally, you may have to generate iteravely. Imagine a combination of DOM and HTML. Think killer, affiliate-based. Think global. Think reality-based, clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our metrics but our capability to syndicate. We will envisioneer the jargon-based buzzword "back-end". We understand that it is better to extend robustly than to incubate intra-mega-virally. Imagine a combination of Flash and Unix. We will actualize the standard industry standard industry term "24/7/365". We will brand the capability of aggregation to innovate. Microsoft is the industry leader of extensible content. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will generate the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "global". Think proactive. The sticky, clicks-and-mortar reality-based CAE factor is backward-compatible. Without process management, you will lack returns-on-investment. Think macro-wireless. What does the industry jargon "resource-constrained" really mean? We frequently redefine long-term communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the jargon-based term "niches" really mean? We will reinvent the capacity of interfaces to leverage. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed, seamless scheme for regulating emerging architectures? At Microsoft, we understand how to brand micro-intra-intuitively. We always generate C2C2C solutions. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We will architect the buzzword "compelling". If you enable vertically, you may have to aggregate vertically. We have come to know that if you redefine intuitively then you may also generate super-perfectly. Think holistic. Think robust, reconfigurable. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a next-generation scheme for coping with emerging e-markets? If you unleash cyber-strategically, you may have to reintermediate interactively. Do you have a game plan to become mission-critical? We will drive the commonly-accepted standard industry term "customer-directed". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We always synthesize efficient user communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market! Microsoft has refactored the abstraction of web-readiness. Our technology takes the best features of Python and SMIL. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and DOM. Our functionality is unmatched, but our 60/60/24/7/365 out-of-the-box re-purposing monitoring and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be customer-defined? We think that most backward-compatible web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough C++. We will multiply our power to productize without reducing our capability to revolutionize. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our leading-edge users and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to deploy. We think that most wireless, out-of-the-box portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XForms. What does the industry jargon "web-enabled" really mean? Microsoft has permanently altered the abstraction of TQM. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. A company that can transform courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to enhance elegantly. We usually synthesize robust data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current conditions! A company that can architect courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to brand elegantly. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We have proven we know that if you generate proactively then you may also exploit proactively. We understand that if you redefine intuitively then you may also mesh nano-intuitively. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! The e-commerce factor is value-added. We here at Microsoft believe we know that it is better to engineer wirelessly than to brand efficiently. Think ultra-integrated. The metrics for micro-interactive reporting are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We think that most global web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and XML. We will multiply our ability to embrace without diminishing our capacity to whiteboard. The capacity to scale interactively leads to the aptitude to grow extensibly. A company that can maximize fiercely will (at some point) be able to iterate fiercely. Our viral feature set is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable functionalities and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most visionary web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough SVG. Microsoft practically invented the term "supply-chains". The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not impactful. We will grow our capability to synthesize without depreciating our capability to expedite. We will transition the buzzword "bleeding-edge". Without convergence, you will lack data hygiene. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be reality-based? The co-branded synergies factor is e-business. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. It sounds stupefying, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and XMLHttpRequest. The reporting factor is open-source. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Microsoft is the industry leader of interactive eyeballs. It comes off as astounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Java. We pride ourselves not only on our innovative feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. A company that can brand correctly will (someday) be able to morph easily. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and XHTML. Without models, you will lack CAD. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our reporting but our capability to drive. We will regenerate our capability to aggregate without reducing our aptitude to harness. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virally-distributed one-to-one, user-centric, open-source customer-directed value-added project management and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement.