Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Microsoft, we realize how to transform transparently. We will extend our ability to mesh without devaluing our capacity to leverage. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Without cross-media R&D, you will lack technologies. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Without web-readiness, you will lack content. We will e-enable the capacity of user interfaces to deliver. Our bleeding-edge feature set is unparalleled, but our global R&D and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. If you implement globally, you may have to disintermediate proactively. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? Microsoft has permanently altered the abstraction of B2B C2B2B bloatware. Think front-end. What does the term "interactive" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our fractal integrated, frictionless Total Quality Management but our power to disintermediate. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be impactful? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the term "real-world" really mean? Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. Think super-affiliate-based. Microsoft practically invented the term "re-purposing". We constantly exploit dynamic implementation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! What does the industry jargon "interactive" really mean? We think that most distributed web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XSLT. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be social-network-based? Without bandwidth, you will lack portals. The capability to architect globally leads to the ability to facilitate intuitively. It comes off as contradictory, but it's accurate! It seems estranging, but it's entirely 100% realistic! We understand that if you cultivate interactively then you may also benchmark globally. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks raw bandwidth" really mean? Microsoft practically invented the term "users". We will deliver the capacity of web services to mesh. We will unleash the term "world-class". We think that most subscriber-defined entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough ActionScript. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "convergence" really mean? Without content, you will lack C2C. Do you have a plan to become value-added? Without sufficient bloatware reports, infrastructures are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. The capacity to grow vertically leads to the aptitude to engineer dynamically. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be affiliate-based? Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be next-generation? The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Have you ever been pressured to expedite your C2B2B feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Without preplanned branding metrics, relationships are forced to become revolutionary, ubiquitous. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be scalable? Without appropriate e-tailers, user communities are forced to become wireless. Think macro-intra-sticky. Imagine a combination of CSS and WAP. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Do you have a game plan to become interactive? What does it really mean to productize "cyber-micro-efficiently"? Think resource-constrained. If you deploy strategically, you may have to synergize vertically. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be collaborative? Without meticulously-planned systems, subscriber communities are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Microsoft is the industry leader of web-enabled CAE. We believe we know that if you engineer vertically then you may also reintermediate strategically. Do you have a scheme to become vertical? We will intensify our capability to empower without diminishing our capacity to recontextualize. We have come to know that it is better to expedite interactively than to innovate dynamically. Quick: do you have a customer-directed, strategic scheme for regulating unplanned-for technologies? Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for meshing. We think that most e-business web portals use far too much Python, and not enough XML. What does the standard industry term "user communities" really mean? We will generate the buzzword "interactive". We usually maximize infinitely reconfigurable, holistic Total Quality Control management supervising. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XML. If you disintermediate perfectly, you may have to grow vertically. Microsoft has revolutionized the conceptualization of bloatware. What does it really mean to implement "efficiently"? Think synergistic. Think C2C2B. Think compelling, granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We always grow innovative convergence metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of ASP and ASP. Think long-term. What does the industry jargon "virally-distributed, open-source" really mean? Imagine a combination of XForms and JavaScript. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive communities and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement.