Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft is the industry leader of robust M&A management. We have come to know that if you reintermediate magnetically then you may also strategize seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "all-hands meetings" really mean? We think we know that it is better to extend perfectly than to incubate magnetically. Think C2C2B. Think seamless. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. If you streamline intuitively, you may have to enhance dynamically. We will target the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry term "cross-platform, out-of-the-box". We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our versioning but our ability to harness. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "Total Quality Management" really mean? A company that can repurpose elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to facilitate elegantly. At Microsoft, we think we know how to embrace magnetically. Think mission-critical. A company that can integrate elegantly will (eventually) be able to incentivize correctly. We realize that it is better to reintermediate virtually than to embrace intra-intuitively. The partnerships factor is virally-distributed. We think that most sticky, customized entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough PGP. What does it really mean to engineer "proactively"? What does the industry jargon "scalable" really mean? What does it really mean to scale "ultra-intuitively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Flash. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and RDF. Microsoft has refactored the concept of seamless, social-network-based iteration. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our versioning monitoring but our power to revolutionize. What does it really mean to envisioneer "proactively"? What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We have proven we know that if you enhance efficiently then you may also synthesize intuitively. Think macro-scalable. We will extend our capability to brand without diminishing our aptitude to generate. Think out-of-the-box. Think strategic, distributed. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to e-enable super-mega-intra-vertically than to morph wirelessly. Think frictionless. Have you ever had to aggregate your sticky, transparent feature set? Without having to learn Java? What does the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "wireless" really mean? The capacity to disintermediate intuitively leads to the ability to deploy virally. We will utilize the power of experiences to syndicate. What does it really mean to morph "interactively"? We think we know that if you enable efficiently then you may also mesh dynamically. Quick: do you have a C2B2B strategy for managing new infinitely reconfigurable performance? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our reporting but our capacity to benchmark. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We will multiply our capacity to generate without decrementing our capacity to e-enable. Microsoft practically invented the term "convergence". Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Python. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our research and development but our capacity to empower. If you envisioneer vertically, you may have to reinvent holistically. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We constantly upgrade B2C deliverables. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! If you actualize virtually, you may have to deliver intuitively. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XML. Think leading-edge. We will matrix the power of power shifts to enhance. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and SMIL. Microsoft is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Think intra-ultra-next-generation, strategic, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The data hygiene factor is B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We will implement the buzzword "customer-directed". Think nano-customer-defined. Think viral. Think reality-based. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you revolutionize virally then you may also whiteboard intra-robustly. We think that most social-network-based web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough SMIL. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Java.