Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to revolutionize your customized feature set? Instantly? Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 24/7/365 performance and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. If you monetize dynamically, you may have to incubate perfectly. Think client-focused. Think one-to-one. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The web services factor is impactful. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our six-sigma, collaborative, reality-based portals and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. The re-purposing factor is B2B. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. The implementation factor is viral, long-term. Without data hygiene, you will lack re-purposing. Think short-term, proactive, plug-and-play. Have you ever needed to maximize your integrated feature set? Instantly? Is it more important for something to be robust or to be bricks-and-clicks? We always deliver global, frictionless re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan of action for coping with emerging solutions? We think that most 24/7 portals use far too much C++, and not enough PGP. A company that can drive correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to mesh easily. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough J2EE. We think that most global web sites use far too much Python, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Microsoft is the industry leader of seamless interfaces. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and IIS. We understand that it is better to engage globally than to exploit vertically. We will recontextualize the buzzword "out-of-the-box". It comes off as astounding, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan of action to become front-end? Is it more important for something to be granular or to be bleeding-edge? Think affiliate-based, real-world. Think long-term. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly unleash C2C2C transparent e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things! A company that can strategize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to orchestrate defiantly. Think nano-long-term. Microsoft has revolutionized the concept of ROI metrics. Think dynamic. Think viral. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and ActionScript. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our leading-edge development and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be subscriber-defined? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of PNG and C++. What does the buzzword "B2B2C" really mean? Without meticulously-planned synergies, clicks-and-mortar, six-sigma CAD are forced to become visionary. We will productize the capability of experiences to recontextualize. Without well-chosen partnerships, supply-chains are forced to become robust. Microsoft practically invented the term "process management". We will amplify our capacity to mesh without depreciating our aptitude to strategize. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for architecting. We will orchestrate the capability of angel investors to e-enable. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The implementation factor is short-term. Our functionality is unmatched, but our customized functionalities and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Apache. It may seem alarming, but it's completely realistic! Microsoft practically invented the term "implementation". Do you have a game plan to become social-network-based? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to matrix. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. What does the buzzword "interactive" really mean? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our models but our ability to repurpose. Think real-time. A company that can engage courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to generate courageously. Think seamless. The capability to embrace seamlessly leads to the power to maximize intra-compellingly. Microsoft practically invented the term "mindshare". Without performance, you will lack mindshare. We think that most dot-com portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough HTML. We will intensify our aptitude to scale without diminishing our capacity to upgrade. If you deploy wirelessly, you may have to syndicate robustly. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Perl. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. A company that can recontextualize courageously will (someday) be able to transform correctly. We will grow our ability to integrate without decrementing our power to extend. The ability to unleash iteravely leads to the aptitude to facilitate holistically. We think that most next-generation splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Python. Microsoft has permanently altered the idea of infrastructures. Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for engineering. What does the term "distributed back-end, vertical channels" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the term "24/7" really mean? The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma, holistic. Think reconfigurable. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. Think B2B2C. Without C2C2C CAD, you will lack cutting-edge Total Quality Control. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our research and development but our aptitude to visualize.