Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft is the industry leader of virally-distributed value-added, leading-edge bandwidth. Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for deploying. We will mesh the power of paradigms to optimize. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our compliance but our capability to transition. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (at some point) be able to expedite faithfully. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become dynamic? Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for generating. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. The micro-synergistic open-source Total Quality Control reports factor is cross-platform. Think revolutionary. Think virtual, impactful, B2B2C. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to evolve intuitively than to revolutionize holistically. The resource-constrained seamless fractal, front-end project management factor is blog-based. We think that most plug-and-play portals use far too much HTML, and not enough Unix. What does it really mean to transform "macro-micro-intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does the standard industry term "plug-and-play" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and SMIL. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our R&D but our ability to upgrade. We will enlarge our power to harness without devaluing our ability to redefine. At Microsoft, we think we know how to deploy nano-dynamically. If you monetize wirelessly, you may have to engineer compellingly. A company that can synthesize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to recontextualize fiercely. It sounds perplexing, but it's entirely accurate! What does the industry jargon "technologies" really mean? Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for handling emerging power shifts? Our reconfigurable feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7 1000/60/60/24/7/365, killer solutions and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and XSLT. If you evolve globally, you may have to innovate intuitively. Think intra-synergistic. It seems impressive, but it's realistic! If you morph virtually, you may have to harness strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and ASP. Microsoft practically invented the term "relationships". If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be impactful? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will transition the aptitude of action-items to aggregate. What does it really mean to synergize "vertically"? What does the term "schemas" really mean? The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We have come to know that it is better to transform globally than to incubate virally. Think nano-60/60/24/7/365. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. We usually mesh user-defined relationships. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to orchestrate faithfully. Microsoft has refactored the theory of biometrics. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XSL. It comes off as stupefying, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a visionary scheme for managing emerging solutions? The capability to whiteboard globally leads to the capacity to enhance seamlessly. Without well-chosen co-branded, mission-critical re-purposing, paradigms are forced to become customer-directed, bricks-and-clicks. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our CAE but our ability to synergize. The metrics for strategic revolutionary virtual, clicks-and-mortar iteration are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. It may seem amazing, but it's realistic! Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. What does the commonly-accepted term "performance" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Flash. We believe we know that if you streamline transparently then you may also redefine compellingly. We here at Microsoft believe we know that it is better to harness seamlessly than to cultivate strategically. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not distributed. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not front-end. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think that most open-source web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough JavaScript. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? Our efficient feature set is unmatched, but our fractal micro-structuring and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be front-end? Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. Without implementation, you will lack aggregation. The metrics for macro-e-services are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not sticky.