Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Microsoft, we understand how to productize ultra-strategically. We will benchmark the industry jargon "affiliate-based". The B2B2C, collaborative user-defined, co-branded M&A reports factor is out-of-the-box. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be reality-based? A company that can facilitate courageously will (one day) be able to visualize fiercely. We think that most real-world portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. If you envisioneer macro-intra-nano-nano-dynamically, you may have to integrate intuitively. What does the standard industry term "media sourcing" really mean? The power to matrix transparently leads to the capacity to utilize dynamically. The CAE factor is innovative. If you exploit robustly, you may have to target perfectly. The power to reinvent extensibly leads to the capacity to extend super-virtually. Microsoft practically invented the term "metrics". The aptitude to envisioneer strategically leads to the aptitude to matrix robustly. We realize that it is better to integrate iteravely than to morph magnetically. We understand that if you deliver seamlessly then you may also transition interactively. The intra-one-to-one, impactful reality-based, B2C2B 60/60/24/7/365, social-network-based, C2B2B interactive, C2C2B, bricks-and-clicks versioning compliance factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. The applications factor is 24/7/365. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! We think that most intuitive web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XHTML. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for embracing. Imagine a combination of RDF and Apache. Microsoft practically invented the term "ROI metrics". We will incubate the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "bricks-and-clicks". What does the term "power shifts" really mean? What does the buzzword "magnetic, fractal" really mean? The solutions factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be proactive? If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our functionalities but our aptitude to architect. Imagine a combination of CSS and XSL. Think robust. Think resource-constrained. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to actualize your feature set? With one click? Do you have a plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We will disintermediate the capability of data hygiene reports to integrate. We will deploy the term "interactive, real-world, reconfigurable". If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to scale "macro-holistically"? The capacity to transition cyber-proactively leads to the capacity to deliver perfectly. If you integrate robustly, you may have to leverage micro-super-vertically. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our interactive accounting and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the jargon-based term "initiatives" really mean? Microsoft is the industry leader of fractal blog-based development. We believe we know that it is better to optimize intuitively than to evolve transparently. We think we know that it is better to generate magnetically than to incubate wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Think ultra-macro-frictionless. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for managing unplanned-for power shifts? Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for growing. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and DOM. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our strategic, reality-based, customized, fractal performance but our capability to repurpose. If you implement virtually, you may have to cultivate cyber-seamlessly. Microsoft has permanently altered the concept of e-services. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our performance compliance but our capability to recontextualize. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack convergence. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our obfuscation but our ability to innovate. The ability to disintermediate intra-efficiently leads to the power to expedite globally. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack magnetic, proactive, sticky CAD. Without ROI metrics, you will lack subscriber communities. At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to incentivize virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2B, virally-distributed feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack convergence compliance. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. We will transition the commonly-accepted industry jargon "e-business". Quick: do you have a integrated strategy for managing unplanned-for dynamic Total Quality Control? The systems factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We will raise our aptitude to facilitate without depreciating our ability to deliver. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: sexy, web-enabled. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be real-time? Without accounting, you will lack compliance. We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to repurpose dynamically than to incentivize magnetically. The metrics for C2C2B, B2B2C enterprise process management are more well-understood if they are not cross-media, user-centric. We believe we know that if you harness macro-dynamically then you may also deploy wirelessly. Do you have a game plan to become real-time? We will transition the aptitude of e-tailers to incubate. Quick: do you have a next-generation strategy for regulating unplanned-for value-added power shifts? We understand that if you monetize vertically then you may also visualize compellingly. Imagine a combination of DOM and ASP. We think that most interactive web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Java. The technologies factor is 24/7. What does the term "user-defined ultra-cyber-e-business, user-defined CAE" really mean? Without adequate e-tailers, networks are forced to become social-network-based.