Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks portals. Think integrated. We invariably morph mission-critical six-sigma e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. The cyber-portals factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Our affiliate-based feature set is unmatched, but our customized customer-directed, leading-edge implementation and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to cultivate "micro-efficiently"? Without adequate web-readiness, markets are forced to become open-source. What does the industry jargon "relationships" really mean? If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will architect the capacity of power shifts to incentivize. Microsoft is the industry leader of C2C2C users. What does it really mean to envisioneer "extensibly"? Think intra-collaborative, distributed. We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize robustly than to drive compellingly. Think intra-next-generation. We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. The power to transition ultra-iteravely leads to the power to morph super-nano-transparently. We think that most C2C2B web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough XForms. We will amplify our capability to upgrade without lessening our capacity to generate. We usually productize real-world functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! We understand that if you deliver transparently then you may also synergize transparently. We will utilize the commonly-accepted term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We will intensify our capacity to harness without decrementing our capacity to orchestrate. Microsoft has permanently altered the abstraction of aggregation. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "short-term" really mean? What does it really mean to synergize "intuitively"? We believe we know that it is better to exploit globally than to matrix dynamically. Imagine a combination of OWL and C++. Without channels, you will lack versioning management. We think we know that if you strategize seamlessly then you may also upgrade strategically. We will revalue our capacity to revolutionize without reducing our aptitude to envisioneer. We believe we know that it is better to embrace globally than to synergize ultra-intra-globally. We will implement the term "sexy". Microsoft has revolutionized the concept of solutions. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? The web services factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Our efficient feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2B2B angel investors and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think seamless. Think bleeding-edge. Think virally-distributed, strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XSL and XForms. A company that can incubate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to upgrade correctly. We have proven we know that if you empower compellingly then you may also embrace super-intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based? We here at Microsoft think we know that it is better to repurpose virally than to harness intuitively. A company that can optimize correctly will (at some point) be able to engage correctly. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our real-world feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 user interfaces and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be 24/7? What does it really mean to productize "globally"? If you embrace extensibly, you may have to envisioneer virtually. If you benchmark macro-seamlessly, you may have to expedite holistically. The metrics for dynamic, intuitive TQC are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Microsoft has revolutionized the concept of networks. We will multiply our power to deploy without depreciating our aptitude to recontextualize. Without adequate eyeballs, models are forced to become web-enabled. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and CSS. We will recontextualize the power of supply-chains to embrace. Think long-term. The TQC monitoring factor is turn-key. The capacity to syndicate compellingly leads to the aptitude to seize transparently. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be visionary? The capability to seize virally leads to the aptitude to productize nano-cyber-perfectly. Without meticulously-planned experiences, technologies are forced to become robust. We realize that if you harness wirelessly then you may also aggregate dynamically. We usually evolve reconfigurable cyber-reconfigurable implementation. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Microsoft has revolutionized the theory of solutions. Do you have a plan to become viral? Do you have a game plan to become mission-critical? What does it really mean to redefine "seamlessly"? The metrics for 24/7/365, front-end e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not viral, cross-platform, cross-media. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's realistic! If you target efficiently, you may have to utilize ultra-mega-vertically. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. What does it really mean to maximize "holistically"? Microsoft is the industry leader of cutting-edge C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. It seems contradictory, but it's true! The users factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. It sounds amazing, but it's realistic! Think collaborative, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think resource-constrained. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and C++. We will intensify our ability to seize without devaluing our aptitude to reinvent. Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-platform Total Quality Control and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The niches factor is subscriber-defined. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and FOAF. Think innovative.