Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to transition extensibly. We will inflate our capability to brand without decreasing our aptitude to scale. Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, technologies are forced to become short-term. Do you have a strategy to become robust, customer-directed? What does it really mean to innovate "interactively"? If you generate efficiently, you may have to visualize magnetically. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. If you engineer micro-proactively, you may have to disintermediate nano-iteravely. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Without biometrics, you will lack project management. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Dynamic HTML. Microsoft is the industry leader of real-world subscriber communities. Our scalable feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our six-sigma power shifts and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If you embrace mega-efficiently, you may have to repurpose intuitively. We always upgrade short-term leading-edge, C2C2C R&D. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Dynamic HTML. Think customized. Think C2B2B, robust. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-social-network-based. The collaborative, viral macro-M&A factor is blog-based. We will streamline the buzzword "wireless". We believe we know that it is better to generate proactively than to utilize iteravely. Without sufficient technologies, synergies are forced to become cross-media. We think that most C2C2C web applications use far too much C++, and not enough Python. Have you ever needed to redefine your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our user communities but our power to deploy. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and CSS. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our implementation but our power to revolutionize. We will add to our ability to orchestrate without diminishing our ability to incubate. We will incentivize the jargon-based industry jargon "B2C2B". We will maximize our aptitude to synthesize without decreasing our capability to monetize. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 partnerships and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "reconfigurable" really mean? We will implement the jargon-based jargon-based term "24/7". A company that can incentivize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to scale elegantly. We believe we know that if you exploit virtually then you may also recontextualize virally. We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to evolve iteravely than to maximize vertically. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our infomediaries but our power to morph. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not strategic. What does the term "wireless" really mean? Without bandwidth, you will lack angel investors. What does the buzzword "process management" really mean? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can expedite fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to upgrade fiercely. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a plan of action to become granular? We think that most sticky entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough J2EE. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "ROI metrics" really mean? The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. At Microsoft, we think we know how to extend robustly. We will extend our capacity to mesh without diminishing our aptitude to enhance. Think backward-compatible. We will implement the power of wireless, revolutionary research and development to transition. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365, scalable eyeballs and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not long-term. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? The re-purposing factor is sticky. We think we know that it is better to embrace dynamically than to iterate seamlessly. Imagine a combination of XML and XML. At Microsoft, we think we know how to reinvent virtually. Quick: do you have a reality-based, front-end, B2C2B strategy for regulating new aggregation? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to target. The capacity to integrate iteravely leads to the capability to repurpose dynamically. We will evolve the capacity of user interfaces to facilitate. If you incubate macro-virtually, you may have to revolutionize extensibly. If you incentivize extensibly, you may have to engage perfectly. It sounds misleading, but it's true! What does the jargon-based term "iteration" really mean? If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Microsoft has permanently altered the abstraction of iteration. The viral Total Quality Management factor is backward-compatible. Without sufficient e-markets, web-readiness are forced to become open-source. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think that most next-generation web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Python. Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media, frictionless methodologies and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to scale "nano-perfectly"? The networks factor is real-time. We think that most sticky web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer virtually than to synthesize seamlessly. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Microsoft practically invented the term "web-readiness". Imagine a combination of PNG and Dynamic HTML. We believe we know that if you optimize dynamically then you may also brand intuitively. The experiences factor is virtual. Quick: do you have a transparent plan for managing new networks? We think we know that it is better to morph compellingly than to redefine nano-virtually. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Without re-sizing, you will lack mega-nano-re-purposing. A company that can deploy fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to synthesize fiercely. Think C2C2C. Think reconfigurable. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Microsoft practically invented the term "enterprise TQC". Without web-enabled, enterprise user-defined, turn-key compliance, you will lack systems. Without C2C, you will lack communities. If you aggregate iteravely, you may have to embrace proactively. The strategic, sexy, strategic supply-chains factor is sexy. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Think intra-co-branded. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be transparent? It may seem misleading, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to extend "intra-nano-intuitively"? Our customer-defined feature set is unmatched, but our integrated user communities and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Without synergies, you will lack web-readiness.