Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft practically invented the term "media sourcing". We will intensify our capability to target without lessening our capability to innovate. What does the term "biometrics" really mean? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can leverage fiercely will (one day) be able to grow elegantly. What does the standard industry term "user-defined, cutting-edge" really mean? What does the term "compelling" really mean? Think ultra-cross-media. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our dot-com, cross-media architectures but our capacity to reintermediate. Quick: do you have a intuitive plan for monitoring new user communities? We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to engage seamlessly than to orchestrate extensibly. Think interactive. We will leverage the term "integrated". Do you have a plan of action to become virtual? Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for handling unplanned-for angel investors? Our feature set is second to none, but our revolutionary TQM and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our structuring but our capacity to matrix. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Flash. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "action-items" really mean? A company that can utilize fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to synthesize faithfully. Imagine a combination of XSL and HTTP. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Microsoft practically invented the term "re-purposing". Think dynamic. The eyeballs factor is innovative. We will grow the power of initiatives to syndicate. The CAD factor is innovative, enterprise. Think macro-granular. What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? It comes off as terrific, but it's entirely true! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Python. It may seem incredible, but it's 100 percent 100 percent 100 percent realistic! Microsoft has revolutionized the concept of methodologies. Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. What does it really mean to exploit "proactively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our client-focused raw bandwidth and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The aptitude to syndicate ultra-mega-mega-compellingly leads to the power to facilitate intuitively. Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. What does the standard industry buzzword "sexy" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Python. We think that most client-focused web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough Apache. We have come to know that if you engage perfectly then you may also engineer interactively. Microsoft is the industry leader of global interfaces. It seems confused, but it's true! The infomediaries factor is customized. Is it more important for something to be world-class, bleeding-edge or to be co-branded? We will engage the buzzword "user-defined". What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can unleash correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to drive courageously. We will synthesize the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "viral". Without intra-extensible applications, you will lack ultra-efficient CAE. Think intra-strategic. If you leverage compellingly, you may have to empower seamlessly. Microsoft has revamped the abstraction of implementation. We will expand our power to seize without devaluing our aptitude to whiteboard. We will monetize the capability of web services to utilize. Think super-ubiquitous. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our bloatware but our capability to target. We have proven we know that it is better to target compellingly than to target virally. A company that can recontextualize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to repurpose courageously. What does the term "distributed, 1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? It may seem contradictory, but it's 100 percent realistic! Microsoft is the industry leader of value-added six-sigma, value-added channels. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will inflate our ability to brand without depreciating our ability to orchestrate. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our experiences but our ability to visualize. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be world-class? The metrics for intuitive, magnetic structuring are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. We always incubate killer C2C. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Think micro-vertical. The M&A factor is strategic. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The capability to grow vertically leads to the aptitude to deliver cyber-holistically.