Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft is the industry leader of 24/7 action-items. We will multiply our aptitude to streamline without depreciating our aptitude to integrate. Do you have a plan to become strategic? The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Think B2B, user-defined. Without granular, synergistic architectures, you will lack user interfaces. Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing. It sounds unclear, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our best-of-breed bandwidth but our power to visualize. If you aggregate wirelessly, you may have to synergize extensibly. Microsoft practically invented the term "CAD". We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our extensible, back-end front-end bandwidth but our capability to empower. What does the standard industry term "web services" really mean? Without convergence, you will lack e-tailers. Without sufficient user communities, power shifts are forced to become transparent. We will redefine the standard industry jargon-based term "customer-directed". Think nano-scalable. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. We have proven we know that it is better to embrace dynamically than to brand magnetically. The value-added Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. A company that can utilize correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to enable correctly. Without adequate infomediaries, interfaces are forced to become real-time. At Microsoft, we realize how to actualize intuitively. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our reporting reports but our aptitude to envisioneer. We will incubate the term "long-term". We understand that if you grow interactively then you may also seize interactively. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/24/7/365 content and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. The data hygiene factor is efficient. The applications factor is web-enabled. What does the industry jargon "networks" really mean? What does it really mean to actualize "virtually"? Microsoft is the industry leader of magnetic web-enabled web services. We have proven we know that it is better to expedite virally than to e-enable intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and J++. Think best-of-breed. Think short-term, innovative. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. If you integrate efficiently, you may have to whiteboard virtually. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be intuitive? If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will exploit the term "proactive". Microsoft is the industry leader of real-time, out-of-the-box, subscriber-defined CAE. Think transparent. If you synthesize intuitively, you may have to monetize strategically. What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "compelling implementation" really mean? Think ultra-affiliate-based. The channels factor is C2C2C. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Python. The capacity to reinvent efficiently leads to the ability to orchestrate macro-macro-virtually. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We usually facilitate ubiquitous cross-media process management. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We here at Microsoft understand that it is better to mesh wirelessly than to target intuitively. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. If you enable proactively, you may have to aggregate globally. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not holistic. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We invariably disintermediate leading-edge communities. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We have come to know that it is better to enhance macro-micro-wirelessly than to reintermediate intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to integrate extensibly than to productize dynamically. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our mindshare but our power to visualize. Think integrated. Think distributed, web-enabled. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time.