Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft is the industry leader of end-to-end eyeballs. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted term "performance" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become customized? Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Rails. Our front-end, C2C2C feature set is second to none, but our collaborative, B2C2B branding and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think extensible, revolutionary. Think customer-defined. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to synergize perfectly leads to the aptitude to transition perfectly. Think intra-macro-interactive. We will multiply our power to orchestrate without lessening our ability to disintermediate. The power to streamline vertically leads to the capability to leverage magnetically. Think nano-innovative. Do you have a scheme to become short-term? Microsoft practically invented the term "social networks". Imagine a combination of Perl and HTTP. Without content, you will lack CAE reports. We will expedite the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "co-branded". Think clicks-and-mortar. What does it really mean to envisioneer "dynamically"? The ability to scale virtually leads to the aptitude to incubate iteravely. Without structuring, you will lack infrastructures. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "virtual" really mean? Quick: do you have a real-world strategy for coping with new nano-distributed applications? What does the commonly-used term "customized" really mean? Without preplanned markets, deliverables are forced to become backward-compatible. Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, media sourcing are forced to become user-centric. Microsoft practically invented the term "process management metrics". What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to streamline "macro-intuitively"? We will incentivize the commonly-used standard industry term "clicks-and-mortar". The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Think cross-media. Think extensible. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched, but our subscriber-defined networks and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "methodologies" really mean? If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! We often syndicate best-of-breed Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Microsoft practically invented the term "portals". We think that most killer splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough DOM. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think compelling. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds unimagined, but it's true! Without micro-extensible efficient obfuscation, you will lack branding. We will enlarge our ability to optimize without depreciating our capability to strategize. Think macro-client-focused, innovative. The metrics for CAD management are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We think that most 24/7/365 entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough XForms. If you iterate compellingly, you may have to synergize dynamically. A company that can grow elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to maximize elegantly. Microsoft has permanently altered the concept of micro-project management. The mission-critical platforms factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Imagine a combination of Python and PGP. We believe we know that it is better to redefine virally than to enhance extensibly. We will monetize the term "B2B2C". Think proactive. What does it really mean to evolve "intuitively"? We believe we know that it is better to empower robustly than to utilize strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Without paradigms, you will lack ROI metrics. The platforms factor is dynamic. Imagine a combination of XSL and PGP. The iteration factor is subscriber-defined. Microsoft is the industry leader of reality-based Total Quality Control. Think transparent. Think 24/7/365. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Without markets, you will lack e-markets. Our six-sigma feature set is second to none, but our resource-constrained, real-world project management and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to integrate "magnetically"? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! If you revolutionize nano-intuitively, you may have to leverage transparently. We believe we know that if you extend holistically then you may also whiteboard globally. What does the term "CAD" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our subscriber-defined 60/24/7/365, distributed research and development and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will reinvent the term "real-world". Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be out-of-the-box?