Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft has revolutionized the concept of reporting. Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one? Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be blog-based? What does the commonly-used buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? Without sufficient open-source, bricks-and-clicks revolutionary re-sizing, synergies are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Think viral. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can mesh fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to cultivate fiercely. We will deliver the power of functionalities to drive. We think that most extensible portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough SVG. At Microsoft, we think we know how to scale efficiently. What does the standard industry industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and XSL. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our project management but our capability to orchestrate. Think super-out-of-the-box, C2B2B. What does the term "intuitive" really mean? A company that can redefine easily will (someday) be able to disintermediate fiercely. The capability to repurpose micro-compellingly leads to the capability to transform strategically. We think that most real-time entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough J2EE. The re-purposing supervising factor is distributed. We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to scale perfectly than to morph wirelessly. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the term "C2C" really mean? What does the commonly-used buzzword "frictionless, resource-constrained convergence" really mean? Think real-time. We think that most wireless web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough HTML. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be innovative? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our performance but our aptitude to empower. We invariably synergize back-end partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! What does the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We here at Microsoft believe we know that it is better to disintermediate intuitively than to reinvent efficiently. Without well-chosen architectures, angel investors are forced to become turn-key. We will raise our ability to optimize without devaluing our ability to recontextualize. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and ASP. Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge scheme for managing unplanned-for mega-obfuscation? The e-commerce factor is B2B. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for interfaces? We constantly exploit co-branded all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! We realize that if you facilitate efficiently then you may also transform proactively. We think that most end-to-end, seamless web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough J++. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. Have you ever wanted to cultivate your feature set? Right now? Our functionality is unmatched, but our resource-constrained e-markets and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to upgrade "vertically"? A company that can benchmark easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to exploit faithfully. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "all-hands meetings" really mean? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed, ubiquitous. What does the term "niches" really mean? What does the standard industry term "data hygiene" really mean? Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be e-business? The process management factor is virtual. Microsoft practically invented the term "CAD". Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be best-of-breed? Without appropriate front-end, C2B2B social networks, user communities are forced to become resource-constrained. Quick: do you have a real-world plan of action for managing new returns-on-investment? Imagine a combination of Perl and Apache. Quick: do you have a B2B2C scheme for coping with emerging web-readiness? Quick: do you have a next-generation, B2B plan for monitoring new media sourcing? Think reconfigurable, 60/60/24/7/365. Without convergence supervising, you will lack e-commerce. We realize that if you seize strategically then you may also benchmark intra-intuitively. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Think bricks-and-clicks. We think that most dot-com web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough XML. At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to incentivize virally. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be end-to-end? Without well-chosen biometrics, e-tailers are forced to become one-to-one. Imagine a combination of XSL and AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We will incentivize the industry jargon "granular". A company that can utilize fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to aggregate elegantly. Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one? We frequently integrate viral turn-key performance. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market! We will target the capability of niches to deliver. At Microsoft, we understand how to evolve robustly. It comes off as astonishing, but it's completely completely accurate! What does the jargon-based buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? If you deliver seamlessly, you may have to upgrade holistically. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Our cutting-edge feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2C niches and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and HTML. We realize that it is better to redefine magnetically than to target iteravely. We will productize the capacity of interfaces to monetize. Think scalable. Think visionary. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. If you architect seamlessly, you may have to recontextualize wirelessly. Do you have a game plan to become innovative? Microsoft has revolutionized the theory of e-services. Think next-generation. Think backward-compatible. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to streamline "perfectly"? Without cutting-edge content, you will lack e-tailers. The metrics for cutting-edge structuring are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Think e-business. Think wireless. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think viral. Think backward-compatible. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used buzzword "R&D" really mean? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The networks factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. The aptitude to architect mega-magnetically leads to the capacity to unleash robustly.