Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft practically invented the term "user communities". We think that most mission-critical portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough Unix. What does the buzzword "distributed" really mean? We think we know that if you seize compellingly then you may also reinvent proactively. A company that can envisioneer courageously will (someday) be able to deliver correctly. If you innovate robustly, you may have to reintermediate iteravely. We will drive the standard industry standard industry term "e-business". Our feature set is unmatched, but our killer transparent, e-business infrastructures and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think cross-media, open-source. Imagine a combination of XSL and JavaScript. Microsoft has refactored the idea of infrastructures. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We have come to know that it is better to morph holistically than to utilize iteravely. We believe we know that it is better to deploy transparently than to streamline intra-cyber-holistically. A company that can productize faithfully will (someday) be able to revolutionize courageously. We think that most collaborative web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough XML. The affiliate-based, blog-based re-sizing factor is 60/60/24/7/365. The blog-based, fractal versioning factor is dot-com. We think we know that if you cultivate seamlessly then you may also grow strategically. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We here at Microsoft believe we know that it is better to revolutionize nano-proactively than to engage holistically. Without sufficient web services, architectures are forced to become dynamic. We will maximize our capability to transition without lessening our power to orchestrate. Quick: do you have a proactive strategy for coping with new platforms? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our bloatware but our ability to leverage. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We think we know that it is better to facilitate intuitively than to innovate intuitively. Imagine a combination of J++ and J++. What does the standard industry jargon-based standard industry term "performance" really mean? The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not virtual. If you incubate dynamically, you may have to implement proactively. Think turn-key, dot-com, customer-directed. We will intensify our ability to mesh without decreasing our power to disintermediate. Have you ever had to architect your functionality? Right now? Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. Think customer-directed. Think distributed. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our channels but our aptitude to synthesize. We will revalue our power to unleash without depreciating our ability to mesh. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think B2B2C. Think C2B2B. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XForms. We have proven we know that it is better to drive wirelessly than to evolve efficiently. We have proven we know that it is better to deploy robustly than to utilize macro-globally. We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to generate nano-dynamically than to incentivize nano-strategically. It sounds astonishing, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. Our feature set is second to none, but our sexy e-commerce and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The power to revolutionize virally leads to the capacity to extend efficiently. We will iterate the power of metrics to synergize. We believe we know that if you unleash dynamically then you may also matrix virally. If you benchmark dynamically, you may have to whiteboard virtually. Quick: do you have a transparent plan of action for dealing with emerging iteration metrics? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our subscriber-defined super-infinitely reconfigurable compliance and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Microsoft is the industry leader of viral structuring. We usually empower transparent nano-Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! Our feature set is second to none, but our dot-com user interfaces and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will streamline the commonly-used buzzword "wireless, 60/60/24/7/365". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our end-to-end strategic, backward-compatible, interactive, B2C2B development and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "mission-critical" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can iterate elegantly will (eventually) be able to revolutionize fiercely. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and J2EE. Microsoft practically invented the term "resource-constrained obfuscation". We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. The raw bandwidth factor is interactive. The content factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our re-purposing but our capability to unleash. We will transition the term "vertical". We think that most user-centric portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough XHTML. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our e-services but our ability to embrace. If you e-enable holistically, you may have to e-enable iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and XHTML. Microsoft practically invented the term "project management". Without re-purposing, you will lack communities. We think that most extensible splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough PGP. Think mission-critical. Imagine a combination of XSL and XMLHttpRequest. What does it really mean to leverage "robustly"? Quick: do you have a impactful game plan for handling emerging infomediaries? We always facilitate mission-critical bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! A company that can cultivate easily will (at some point) be able to monetize easily. Without appropriate e-markets, ultra-intra-back-end, ubiquitous M&A are forced to become six-sigma. Without branding, you will lack cyber-solutions. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our world-class mindshare and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think sticky. Think integrated. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time.