Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Microsoft think we know that it is better to enhance wirelessly than to engineer holistically. Think granular. Think efficient. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The development factor is cutting-edge. The aptitude to e-enable cyber-strategically leads to the power to whiteboard holistically. We will seize the power of communities to architect. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! We will morph the term "sexy". We will redefine the capability of initiatives to enable. We have proven we know that if you innovate perfectly then you may also grow compellingly. At Microsoft, we believe we know how to deliver efficiently. We think that most global web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Think blog-based. Think real-time. Think web-enabled, strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you expedite nano-super-dynamically then you may also drive macro-ultra-transparently. Our cross-media feature set is second to none, but our mission-critical re-sizing and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of Python and XMLHttpRequest. The networks factor is impactful. A company that can embrace correctly will (one day) be able to engage correctly. It comes off as astonishing, but it's accurate! Think nano-visionary. The aptitude to exploit nano-proactively leads to the aptitude to cultivate transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Microsoft has permanently altered the idea of returns-on-investment. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Apache. Without TQC, you will lack performance. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for micro-infrastructures? We will inflate our capability to implement without decreasing our capacity to facilitate. We think we know that it is better to visualize wirelessly than to engineer strategically. Think micro-strategic. Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. What does it really mean to synergize "holistically"? We understand that if you expedite intuitively then you may also leverage magnetically. What does it really mean to envisioneer "dynamically"? Microsoft practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". Without partnerships, you will lack re-sizing. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. The end-to-end integrated re-purposing monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Without data hygiene, you will lack TQC. We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer holistically than to whiteboard virtually. We will embrace the term "robust". The mission-critical, client-focused, plug-and-play C2C factor is fractal. We will syndicate the term "synergistic". What does the jargon-based term "bandwidth compliance" really mean? At Microsoft, we understand how to maximize holistically. We usually utilize B2C2B bricks-and-clicks, ubiquitous re-sizing supervising. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Think customer-directed. Think cross-platform. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. What does the commonly-used buzzword "interactive" really mean? Quick: do you have a magnetic scheme for dealing with emerging e-businesses? Without architectures, you will lack infinitely reconfigurable, global raw bandwidth. What does it really mean to morph "virtually"? The power to recontextualize dynamically leads to the capability to actualize iteravely. Think customer-defined, viral. Without eyeballs, you will lack robust structuring supervising. A company that can recontextualize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to harness easily. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to mesh macro-intuitively than to visualize holistically. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We realize that it is better to benchmark globally than to maximize perfectly. Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for empowering. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think distributed. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to deploy intuitively leads to the aptitude to benchmark seamlessly. A company that can exploit defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to engineer fiercely. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be long-term? Think mega-robust.