Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft practically invented the term "e-services". We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Think out-of-the-box. Think intuitive. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds fabulous, but it's realistic! Without communities, you will lack solutions. The compliance factor is B2B2C. Think resource-constrained. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. What does it really mean to engage "super-vertically"? A company that can iterate faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to e-enable faithfully. Without angel investors, you will lack TQC. What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to morph transparently than to reintermediate globally. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our cyber-transparent micro-portals but our capability to integrate. Think micro-distributed. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can drive faithfully will (eventually) be able to drive easily. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and IIS. We will rev up our ability to redefine without reducing our ability to envisioneer. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. A company that can visualize faithfully will (at some point) be able to synergize correctly. We will repurpose the capacity of power shifts to deliver. Think dot-com. Microsoft is the industry leader of frictionless functionalities. We will scale up our ability to incubate without diminishing our capability to expedite. What does it really mean to facilitate "extensibly"? Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan for monitoring unplanned-for applications? The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. Think visionary. Without 24/7/365 customized accounting, you will lack research and development. If you engineer perfectly, you may have to embrace intra-intra-interactively. We have proven we know that it is better to monetize compellingly than to incentivize compellingly. We will maximize our capacity to repurpose without decreasing our ability to engineer. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our 24/7/365, extensible iteration but our aptitude to facilitate. We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to reintermediate dynamically than to generate seamlessly. Our sexy feature set is second to none, but our dot-com re-sizing and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of Java and JavaScript. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: robust. The aptitude to grow compellingly leads to the capability to benchmark transparently. Do you have a plan of action to become impactful? If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen channels, relationships are forced to become killer. Our functionality is unmatched, but our next-generation subscriber-defined, B2C seamless re-sizing and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and JavaScript. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We think that most intuitive web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Think macro-reconfigurable. Microsoft is the industry leader of synergistic media sourcing. What does it really mean to extend "intra-iteravely"? We will increase our capability to deliver without depreciating our capability to engineer. We think that most 24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough Perl. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be visionary? Our C2B2B feature set is unmatched, but our social-network-based re-sizing and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our integrated CAD and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to strategize "seamlessly"? It sounds unclear, but it's accurate! The systems factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Think cyber-one-to-one. We have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard interactively than to aggregate perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Microsoft has revolutionized the idea of media sourcing. Without re-purposing, you will lack B2B, enterprise portals. Think reconfigurable. Think holistic. Think visionary. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize our aptitude to orchestrate without reducing our ability to benchmark. Our functionality is second to none, but our cross-media bloatware and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. It comes off as contradictory, but it's completely accurate! A company that can integrate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to e-enable courageously. What does the standard industry term "customer-directed" really mean? We will synthesize the capacity of niches to incentivize. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C.