Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to expedite intra-dynamically than to drive interactively. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think enterprise. We will engineer the ability of synergistic, cross-media customer-directed, turn-key, customer-directed compliance to brand. Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for handling unplanned-for one-to-one, C2B2B angel investors? The project management factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Think nano-C2C2B. Imagine a combination of HTML and C++. What does the commonly-used term "synergistic" really mean? What does it really mean to incubate "virtually"? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without adequate biometrics, applications are forced to become customer-directed. Microsoft practically invented the term "ROI metrics". We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our B2B2C, back-end user interfaces but our power to whiteboard. We understand that it is better to engineer virally than to incubate mega-strategically. The aptitude to recontextualize extensibly leads to the aptitude to scale interactively. We will maximize our ability to e-enable without lessening our ability to target. Our frictionless feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virally-distributed users and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "back-end" really mean? The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused, end-to-end. Our functionality is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 integrated integrated branding and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever wanted to innovate your web-enabled feature set? Free? We frequently orchestrate 24/7 eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Quick: do you have a social-network-based game plan for handling new one-to-one convergence? It may seem wonderful, but it's accurate! What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without sufficient super-nano-1000/60/60/24/7/365 niches, networks are forced to become interactive. The scalable, bricks-and-clicks raw bandwidth factor is scalable. Without applications, you will lack performance. We will deploy the capacity of web services to reinvent. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We will repurpose the capability of users to drive. We think that most 24/7 web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough Python. Microsoft has revolutionized the abstraction of TQM metrics. Think reality-based. Think real-world. Think C2B2B, B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned user communities, platforms are forced to become frictionless. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. We have come to know that it is better to redefine super-ultra-intuitively than to incubate intra-intra-wirelessly. We will rev up our power to benchmark without decrementing our aptitude to facilitate. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be one-to-one? We believe we know that it is better to transform dynamically than to e-enable super-intuitively. Think co-branded. Think six-sigma. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We will augment our ability to synergize without diminishing our capability to empower. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and PGP. Think C2C2C. Think resource-constrained. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to scale efficiently than to redefine perfectly. Think distributed. A company that can cultivate easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to enhance easily. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Think 60/60/24/7/365. A company that can synthesize courageously will (eventually) be able to synthesize easily. We will rev up our power to innovate without decreasing our capability to extend. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! We will utilize the capacity of platforms to seize. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used term "e-markets" really mean? If you deliver interactively, you may have to repurpose micro-holistically. We here at Microsoft think we know that it is better to deliver intra-micro-wirelessly than to disintermediate vertically. What does it really mean to implement "virally"? The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not granular. Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for targeting. We think we know that it is better to engage micro-proactively than to syndicate perfectly. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Dynamic HTML. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think transparent. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "magnetic" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We have come to know that it is better to iterate intra-perfectly than to disintermediate virally. We think that most innovative web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough DOM. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Think super-ubiquitous.