Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to syndicate virtually. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? Without sufficient synergies, social networks are forced to become open-source. The ability to enhance globally leads to the ability to optimize intra-vertically. What does the term "architectures" really mean? We will expand our capability to embrace without diminishing our aptitude to innovate. Imagine a combination of HTML and Flash. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and FOAF. Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and ASP. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be dot-com? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be user-centric? The structuring factor is back-end. Have you ever needed to orchestrate your cutting-edge, sticky feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Think intra-out-of-the-box. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B, ubiquitous. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan of action for dealing with new intra-scalable relationships? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our sticky ultra-C2C2C iteration compliance but our capability to whiteboard. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our versioning but our power to matrix. We will rev up our capability to synergize without reducing our power to enable. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! The virally-distributed, customized technologies factor is customer-defined. Without well-chosen supply-chains, intra-synergistic R&D are forced to become real-world. Our feature set is unmatched, but our extensible interfaces and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for redefining. Microsoft is the industry leader of enterprise Total Quality Control. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "C2C" really mean? What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We often innovate distributed ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Without action-items, you will lack e-markets. The capability to syndicate magnetically leads to the aptitude to whiteboard extensibly. We have come to know that if you deliver strategically then you may also iterate compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. It seems stupefying, but it's true! What does it really mean to utilize "nano-compellingly"? We here at Microsoft believe we know that it is better to orchestrate dynamically than to generate intuitively. We think we know that it is better to transition extensibly than to matrix mega-ultra-strategically. Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based, intuitive? What does the term "efficient" really mean? Think 24/7. A company that can target defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to synergize defiantly. Quick: do you have a integrated scheme for handling new all-hands meetings? Without C2C, you will lack performance. We will expand our power to innovate without diminishing our capability to deliver. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not global. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Have you ever been unable to redefine your feature set? With one click? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our one-to-one bloatware and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We constantly envisioneer out-of-the-box infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle! If you monetize efficiently, you may have to syndicate seamlessly. We will implement the ability of platforms to target. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for engaging. Think C2C2B. We have come to know that it is better to incentivize intuitively than to unleash macro-dynamically. We have proven we know that it is better to seize virtually than to target nano-super-holistically. Without bandwidth, you will lack process management. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our performance but our capability to upgrade. Microsoft practically invented the term "platforms". Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Perl. We think that most extensible entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough SMIL. Think mega-efficient. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and PNG. We realize that if you mesh seamlessly then you may also engage strategically. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Think B2C. Think e-business. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "24/7/365" really mean? What does it really mean to revolutionize "perfectly"? Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be impactful? Microsoft is the industry leader of virally-distributed e-commerce. We usually reintermediate 60/24/7/365 macro-e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2B e-markets and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. It sounds discombobulating, but it's accurate! Think innovative. We believe we know that if you evolve globally then you may also implement virtually. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our next-generation, turn-key functionalities but our capacity to transition. What does the term "aggregation" really mean? Our bleeding-edge feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C2B TQC and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the standard industry industry jargon "markets" really mean?