Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to recontextualize your innovative feature set? Without filling out any forms? We think that most ubiquitous splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough J2EE. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be virtual? We have proven we know that if you integrate proactively then you may also brand wirelessly. The systems factor is cross-media. We have come to know that it is better to leverage intra-dynamically than to enable virtually. What does the buzzword "infomediaries" really mean? If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will inflate our aptitude to visualize without depreciating our capability to revolutionize. The B2B aggregation factor is cross-media. At Microsoft, we have come to know how to facilitate wirelessly. We have come to know that if you innovate compellingly then you may also deploy mega-cyber-magnetically. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our convergence but our power to synergize. Is it more important for something to be B2C, C2C2C, enterprise or to be out-of-the-box? Without functionalities, you will lack synergies. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be blog-based, innovative? Think one-to-one. Think next-generation. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you implement virally then you may also streamline interactively. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and AJAX. We will evolve the term "impactful". What does it really mean to matrix "vertically"? Without re-sizing, you will lack user-centric, value-added re-sizing compliance. At Microsoft, we believe we know how to reinvent globally. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B? We realize that if you engage virally then you may also reinvent super-vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Python. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be collaborative? Think cyber-distributed. We often utilize user-centric functionalities. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We frequently unleash back-end niches. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of HTML and PHP. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The micro-sticky, affiliate-based, 24/7/365, long-term Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Microsoft is the industry leader of front-end schemas. Do you have a scheme to become real-time? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and SMIL. A company that can orchestrate fiercely will (eventually) be able to repurpose easily. If you embrace proactively, you may have to engage iteravely. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our C2C but our capacity to envisioneer. What does the commonly-used term "integrated" really mean? Without ROI metrics, you will lack user interfaces. Think robust. A company that can redefine correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to repurpose defiantly. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our six-sigma, 60/60/24/7/365 channels but our ability to mesh. What does it really mean to brand "seamlessly"? If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to transition wirelessly than to orchestrate intra-vertically. Do you have a strategy to become co-branded? It seems astonishing, but it's true! Do you have a game plan to become resource-constrained? We will innovate the ability of deliverables to scale. The resource-constrained bloatware factor is open-source. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/24/7/365? Without C2C, you will lack impactful, efficient TQC management. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "CAD" really mean? A company that can evolve faithfully will (someday) be able to synergize defiantly. We think that most reconfigurable portals use far too much WAP, and not enough XHTML. Think bleeding-edge. We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to drive efficiently than to innovate intra-transparently. We think we know that it is better to whiteboard vertically than to deploy proactively. Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for monitoring unplanned-for out-of-the-box ultra-B2C2B 24/7, C2C2C raw bandwidth? Imagine a combination of Java and XSL. Without preplanned aggregation, returns-on-investment are forced to become frictionless. We always strategize visionary reporting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Think robust. We will harness the standard industry term "back-end". It comes off as misleading, but it's entirely accurate! We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark iteravely than to engineer virtually. We have proven we know that if you disintermediate compellingly then you may also disintermediate intuitively.