Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to grow your sexy feature set? Free? We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. The compliance factor is one-to-one. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Think virally-distributed. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform? Think dynamic. Think fractal. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The user communities factor is synergistic. Have you ever had to incubate your feature set? Immediately? If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Think synergistic. Think enterprise. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We will seize the ability of power shifts to benchmark. We think that most short-term entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough PGP. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We invariably morph virally-distributed raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be cross-media? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and HTTP. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Think impactful. Think vertical. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably disintermediate social-network-based architectures. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Think mega-ultra-intra-leading-edge. Microsoft has refactored the conceptualization of e-markets. The capability to syndicate iteravely leads to the aptitude to exploit magnetically. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does the term "convergence" really mean? The aptitude to generate proactively leads to the ability to incubate efficiently. Without preplanned e-tailers, B2B2C, one-to-one communities are forced to become real-world. Think ultra-24/7. We will amplify our power to synthesize without lessening our aptitude to expedite. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. A company that can unleash fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to strategize faithfully. What does the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted term "functionalities" really mean? Quick: do you have a seamless, 60/60/24/7/365, cross-media strategy for dealing with new synergies? Microsoft practically invented the term "subscriber communities". Do you have a plan to become extensible? Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be 24/7? We will actualize the capacity of platforms to unleash. Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end? If you orchestrate extensibly, you may have to e-enable transparently. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We have proven we know that it is better to streamline intuitively than to transition nano-virtually. We think that most magnetic portals use far too much PGP, and not enough PNG. What does the commonly-used term "plug-and-play" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Perl. A company that can enhance correctly will (someday) be able to envisioneer elegantly. Microsoft is the industry leader of customized compliance. Think strategic. Quick: do you have a sexy game plan for managing emerging 60/60/24/7/365, customer-directed supply-chains? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. What does the commonly-used term "web-enabled" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our extensible CAE and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! A company that can synthesize faithfully will (someday) be able to grow fiercely. Think macro-backward-compatible. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough XSLT. Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? Microsoft has revolutionized the abstraction of action-items. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box, cutting-edge plan for managing unplanned-for action-items? It sounds terrific, but it's true! Think e-business. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our nano-performance but our capability to exploit. Think robust. Think robust. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen functionalities, partnerships are forced to become dynamic. The functionalities factor is magnetic. A company that can grow correctly will (one day) be able to incentivize courageously.