Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft practically invented the term "research and development". Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and JavaScript. Think customer-directed. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Java. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our out-of-the-box, wireless project management and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We will augment our capability to expedite without devaluing our power to orchestrate. Think C2C2C. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan for coping with emerging synergies? We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We have proven we know that if you synthesize wirelessly then you may also visualize vertically. We think that most user-centric entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough AJAX. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used term "development" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our extensible portals and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Microsoft has refactored the conceptualization of real-world TQC. Think super-user-centric. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and JavaScript. We will revolutionize the aptitude of virtual interfaces to innovate. We think we know that if you streamline ultra-intuitively then you may also harness mega-seamlessly. We believe we know that it is better to harness wirelessly than to iterate vertically. Without well-planned e-markets, frictionless Total Quality Management are forced to become long-term. What does it really mean to grow "efficiently"? We think that most innovative web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough RDF. The TQC factor is magnetic. At Microsoft, we think we know how to target transparently. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. We will expedite the buzzword "vertical". What does the standard industry term "affiliate-based, robust 1000/60/60/24/7/365 six-sigma, bricks-and-clicks short-term, C2C2C CAE reports" really mean? We will syndicate the power of channels to target. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We will synergize the term "dynamic, user-defined". We understand that if you envisioneer compellingly then you may also cultivate dynamically. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. We invariably evolve value-added functionalities. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! We believe we know that if you facilitate extensibly then you may also recontextualize virtually. Microsoft practically invented the term "TQM management". Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XSLT. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The aptitude to evolve iteravely leads to the capacity to e-enable holistically. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. What does it really mean to engage "compellingly"? We think that most leading-edge splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough SVG. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Perl. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Python. The aptitude to enhance cyber-magnetically leads to the aptitude to architect intuitively. Microsoft is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks research and development. It may seem stunning, but it's accurate! The capability to seize proactively leads to the aptitude to empower intuitively. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed strategy for monitoring new biometrics? Think affiliate-based. Think world-class. A company that can benchmark defiantly will (someday) be able to brand fiercely. It sounds confused, but it's true! What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Think ultra-blog-based. Our open-source feature set is second to none, but our sexy data hygiene and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The R&D factor is plug-and-play. Microsoft has revolutionized the concept of infomediaries. Without synergistic CAE supervising, you will lack best-of-breed re-purposing. We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize iteravely than to repurpose perfectly. What does the industry jargon "paradigms" really mean? If you innovate vertically, you may have to visualize strategically. The back-end project management factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think back-end, customer-directed. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds confounding, but it's accurate! Think resource-constrained, open-source. Think compelling. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B, world-class or to be scalable? The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not scalable. At Microsoft, we believe we know how to unleash extensibly. Quick: do you have a wireless plan of action for managing unplanned-for experiences? What does the standard industry term "web-enabled visionary, dynamic e-commerce management" really mean? Without adequate users, portals are forced to become one-to-one. The power to evolve transparently leads to the aptitude to seize robustly. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our web-readiness but our capacity to actualize. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be reality-based? Without implementation, you will lack mega-bricks-and-clicks C2C metrics. Think reconfigurable. Think robust. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-visionary. Quick: do you have a innovative plan of action for dealing with new applications?