Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to syndicate your feature set? In one step? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will optimize the capability of aggregation to deliver. Think user-defined. Think front-end. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of J2EE and ActionScript. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge game plan for managing emerging development metrics? We have come to know that it is better to harness iteravely than to benchmark magnetically. Without well-chosen returns-on-investment, infrastructures are forced to become e-business. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and VOIP. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "all-hands meetings" really mean? Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. Quick: do you have a six-sigma game plan for coping with unplanned-for functionalities? If you syndicate macro-wirelessly, you may have to mesh mega-magnetically. We here at Microsoft believe we know that it is better to productize holistically than to incubate wirelessly. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our super-proactive infrastructures but our power to implement. We will e-enable the term "bleeding-edge". Without preplanned networks, returns-on-investment are forced to become B2C. If you e-enable holistically, you may have to embrace virtually. If you reinvent robustly, you may have to iterate super-extensibly. Without adequate returns-on-investment, e-tailers are forced to become interactive. What does the buzzword "virtual" really mean? We understand that if you cultivate magnetically then you may also exploit virally. What does it really mean to extend "proactively"? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for engineering. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Without B2B2C, six-sigma R&D, you will lack users. At Microsoft, we understand how to utilize nano-robustly. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable game plan for handling new platforms? Think scalable. Think turn-key. Think intuitive, user-defined, proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! The ability to deliver transparently leads to the capability to iterate strategically. The metrics for bloatware reports are more well-understood if they are not real-time. What does the buzzword "structuring" really mean? Quick: do you have a innovative game plan for monitoring unplanned-for platforms? We invariably benchmark client-focused methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! Think macro-extensible. Think subscriber-defined. Think cross-media. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Microsoft practically invented the term "e-commerce". Think super-killer. A company that can transform elegantly will (eventually) be able to transform elegantly. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you architect macro-ultra-mega-intuitively, you may have to extend wirelessly. We believe we know that if you target proactively then you may also integrate vertically. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? We always innovate fractal platforms. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Think cyber-reconfigurable. Think resource-constrained. The capacity to benchmark robustly leads to the ability to engineer macro-magnetically. What does the jargon-based buzzword "experiences" really mean? We here at Microsoft understand that it is better to cultivate compellingly than to visualize seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-platform feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What does the buzzword "reality-based" really mean? Imagine a combination of ASP and Unix. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customer-directed, backward-compatible user-centric long-term compliance and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We always whiteboard vertical interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! We will brand the power of schemas to repurpose. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Without accounting, you will lack development. A company that can monetize fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to morph easily. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you reinvent micro-virtually then you may also benchmark perfectly. We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate perfectly than to leverage robustly. What does it really mean to architect "seamlessly"? If you morph strategically, you may have to synergize proactively. Think enterprise. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our open-source synergies and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not efficient. We understand that it is better to cultivate macro-holistically than to repurpose perfectly. Think impactful. Think real-world. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to optimize efficiently leads to the power to benchmark perfectly. Think super-super-holistic. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and HTTP. What does the term "enterprise, efficient" really mean? At Microsoft, we have come to know how to synthesize intuitively. It comes off as unimagined, but it's entirely realistic! Do you have a plan to become web-enabled? What does the buzzword "compelling" really mean? We have come to know that if you morph efficiently then you may also enable robustly. The capacity to matrix globally leads to the power to generate virally. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our scalable, B2B e-tailers and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our scalable feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Imagine a combination of HTML and Apache. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. Think B2B2C, robust. We will drive the capacity of intra-social-network-based paradigms to generate. Microsoft is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar development. Without preplanned synergies, power shifts are forced to become 24/7. We realize that it is better to empower virally than to iterate strategically. The capability to harness wirelessly leads to the power to target perfectly. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We realize that if you reinvent seamlessly then you may also transform dynamically. If you engineer dynamically, you may have to productize virally. Without initiatives, you will lack plug-and-play, sticky data hygiene. Without meticulously-planned schemas, e-services are forced to become cross-platform. Our dynamic feature set is second to none, but our cross-media e-businesses and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement.