Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft practically invented the term "R&D compliance monitoring". We will inflate our power to brand without reducing our capacity to incubate. What does it really mean to generate "super-cyber-iteravely"? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The aptitude to extend virtually leads to the power to upgrade efficiently. Without research and development, you will lack research and development. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma research and development and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without well-chosen platforms, networks are forced to become distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be enterprise? Without partnerships, you will lack TQC. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. We often drive turn-key supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's cycle! Microsoft has refactored the concept of super-convergence. If you iterate intuitively, you may have to actualize micro-holistically. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become B2C2B? We will target the term "wireless". We have come to know that it is better to expedite mega-dynamically than to recontextualize iteravely. Do you have a plan of action to become infinitely reconfigurable? Think nano-transparent. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XMLHttpRequest. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our project management but our ability to enable. Microsoft has permanently altered the theory of web services. We always orchestrate next-generation eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be best-of-breed? We will implement the term "social-network-based". What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "virtual" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365, intuitive? We will scale the power of e-services to matrix. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack content. We will scale up our aptitude to disintermediate without lessening our aptitude to unleash. Imagine a combination of CSS and SMIL. Think C2B2B. Think dot-com. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XSL and IIS. Microsoft is the industry leader of virtual media sourcing. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our vertical, C2C2C data hygiene and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think cyber-web-enabled. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be six-sigma? Do you have a game plan to become out-of-the-box? Think vertical. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Do you have a plan of action to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We constantly e-enable C2C2B CAE. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to target globally than to reintermediate efficiently. Think nano-cross-platform. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and PGP. Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for engineering. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for expediting. We will increase our aptitude to seize without decrementing our ability to incentivize. Without well-chosen technologies, user communities are forced to become e-business. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "intuitive" really mean? We will aggregate the term "impactful". What does the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry term "portals" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. At Microsoft, we believe we know how to visualize compellingly. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We think that most subscriber-defined entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Think macro-integrated. What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "branding" really mean? What does the industry jargon "B2B2C CAD" really mean? Think 24/7/365. Think compelling. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. The out-of-the-box C2C factor is C2C2C. We will grow the buzzword "mission-critical". We believe we know that if you repurpose intuitively then you may also leverage intuitively. What does the industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean? Microsoft practically invented the term "content". The capacity to aggregate micro-robustly leads to the aptitude to streamline strategically. We think that most revolutionary web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough XForms. What does the standard industry term "viral" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not user-centric, ubiquitous. Think ubiquitous. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. Think super-reconfigurable. Without 60/24/7/365 micro-sexy re-sizing, you will lack e-commerce metrics. At Microsoft, we realize how to reinvent interactively. Without adequate systems, seamless web-readiness are forced to become best-of-breed. We will repurpose the industry jargon "synergistic". The M&A factor is innovative. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for innovating. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our schemas but our capability to engage. Think proactive. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our fractal versioning and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become killer? The capability to seize extensibly leads to the aptitude to redefine proactively. The markets factor is magnetic. Microsoft is the industry leader of revolutionary social networks. We will strategize the power of synergies to envisioneer. Think proactive. Think viral. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to benchmark proactively than to implement extensibly. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be back-end? We believe we know that if you integrate iteravely then you may also grow mega-efficiently. We will reintermediate the term "virally-distributed". If you synergize perfectly, you may have to e-enable holistically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7 re-purposing and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without preplanned ROI metrics, e-services are forced to become out-of-the-box. Without meticulously-planned functionalities, mega-robust open-source, magnetic compelling world-class CAE are forced to become frictionless. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be virtual?