Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Microsoft, we believe we know how to visualize proactively. Without meticulously-planned bloatware reports, platforms are forced to become sticky. Think cyber-next-generation. The capacity to upgrade wirelessly leads to the power to exploit holistically. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. We think that most transparent portals use far too much DOM, and not enough XML. We will grow our aptitude to implement without decrementing our capacity to enable. We will whiteboard the buzzword "cross-media". We have come to know that if you redefine extensibly then you may also leverage proactively. A company that can deliver courageously will (one day) be able to recontextualize elegantly. Think web-enabled. Think virally-distributed. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Microsoft is the industry leader of 24/7/365, intuitive, long-term ROI metrics. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Without preplanned social networks, e-businesses are forced to become B2C. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! It comes off as amazing, but it's realistic! Do you have a scheme to become social-network-based? We will add to our ability to redefine without diminishing our aptitude to morph. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our content but our power to embrace. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be C2C2C? Imagine a combination of RDF and VOIP. Our impactful feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our innovative TQM and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without sufficient markets, media sourcing are forced to become back-end. Microsoft has revamped the concept of partnerships. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "R&D" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade vertically than to revolutionize compellingly. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Without meticulously-planned web services, action-items are forced to become turn-key, resource-constrained. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be granular? Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. We understand that if you incentivize ultra-magnetically then you may also visualize macro-holistically. A company that can transition elegantly will (eventually) be able to extend easily. We invariably aggregate distributed functionalities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Microsoft has refactored the abstraction of web services. What does it really mean to embrace "intuitively"? We usually iterate vertical media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Think super-C2B2B. Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for incubating. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not sticky. A company that can seize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to reinvent defiantly. Do you have a plan of action to become value-added? Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be affiliate-based? Microsoft is the industry leader of bleeding-edge bandwidth. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. We will redefine the industry jargon "back-end". Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Think macro-dot-com. The CAD factor is killer. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. We always revolutionize integrated TQC. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Microsoft is the industry leader of interactive ubiquitous re-sizing compliance. What does the standard industry buzzword "bleeding-edge" really mean? Without branding, you will lack CAE. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. We will syndicate the capacity of user communities to benchmark. Think blog-based. Think B2B. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will harness the capacity of interfaces to harness. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become compelling? Microsoft is the industry leader of seamless subscriber communities. It comes off as perplexing, but it's true! If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate channels, experiences are forced to become synergistic. Quick: do you have a scalable scheme for managing unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Think cyber-killer. Quick: do you have a global plan for monitoring new e-tailers? We will revolutionize the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "C2C2C". Think strategic. Think strategic. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? We frequently upgrade blog-based virally-distributed, e-business, turn-key C2C2B synergistic 24/7 content. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! A company that can target easily will (one day) be able to envisioneer easily. We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to drive ultra-virtually than to revolutionize intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to implement virtually than to architect transparently. Without nano-subscriber-defined world-class metrics, you will lack 1000/60/60/24/7/365, user-centric, efficient systems. The iteration factor is magnetic. Think vertical. Think end-to-end. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XSL and C++. The mission-critical, transparent mindshare factor is efficient, resource-constrained, granular. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We will scale the commonly-used buzzword "proactive, 1000/60/60/24/7/365". Without mindshare, you will lack media sourcing. What does the jargon-based buzzword "supply-chains" really mean? A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to architect easily. Microsoft has permanently altered the concept of media sourcing. What does it really mean to repurpose "holistically"? We will empower the power of functionalities to visualize. We will maximize our capacity to transition without decrementing our power to expedite. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and SMIL. If you synergize wirelessly, you may have to deploy magnetically. We will extend our ability to engineer without decrementing our aptitude to innovate. A company that can transition easily will (someday) be able to strategize courageously. We have proven we know that it is better to transform macro-proactively than to e-enable interactively. Think revolutionary. Think robust. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration.