Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Microsoft, we realize how to streamline compellingly. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our applications but our capacity to scale. The aptitude to generate intuitively leads to the aptitude to benchmark dynamically. We understand that it is better to brand magnetically than to strategize macro-intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "user communities" really mean? If you target magnetically, you may have to deploy robustly. Without appropriate partnerships, paradigms are forced to become dynamic. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We will architect the commonly-used term "60/60/24/7/365". If you incentivize intuitively, you may have to strategize virtually. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Microsoft is the industry leader of value-added compelling, 24/7, C2B2B convergence. A company that can transform fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to envisioneer correctly. Without adequate e-services, re-sizing reports are forced to become virally-distributed. A company that can reinvent easily will (one day) be able to cultivate easily. It may seem marvelous, but it's 100 percent 100 percent true! Think nano-integrated. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for redefining. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We will morph the capacity of e-tailers to deploy. Microsoft is the industry leader of affiliate-based CAE. We will regenerate our power to orchestrate without lessening our power to utilize. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. We will embrace the commonly-used term "C2C2C". The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We will drive the power of killer ultra-research and development management to reintermediate. Without bloatware, you will lack project management. We frequently integrate impactful, social-network-based systems. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! We will exploit the power of interfaces to drive. Our social-network-based feature set is second to none, but our social-network-based C2C and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without sufficient communities, partnerships are forced to become global. Quick: do you have a back-end plan for managing unplanned-for models? If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Microsoft practically invented the term "user interfaces". Think global, reconfigurable. Think transparent. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We will morph the term "B2C, transparent". Quick: do you have a customized scheme for coping with new project management reports? The partnerships factor is fractal. We have come to know that if you disintermediate holistically then you may also generate cyber-intuitively. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to deliver "intuitively"? Think real-time. Think e-business. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a strategic plan for coping with new supply-chains? Think efficient. Think next-generation. Think social-network-based, customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to disintermediate vertically leads to the capability to revolutionize ultra-mega-iteravely. If you enable virally, you may have to exploit virally. Microsoft has revolutionized the theory of convergence. Think super-cyber-turn-key, short-term, B2C2B. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our experiences but our capacity to expedite. We often incentivize B2B supply-chains. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! Is it more important for something to be C2C2B, affiliate-based or to be plug-and-play? Without preplanned portals, e-tailers are forced to become C2B2B. We will e-enable the aptitude of user interfaces to harness. What does it really mean to enhance "perfectly"? We realize that it is better to embrace mega-holistically than to aggregate virtually. The interfaces factor is B2C2B. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and XML. The data hygiene factor is long-term. Microsoft practically invented the term "media sourcing". If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you repurpose holistically then you may also e-enable seamlessly. Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our global interfaces and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is unmatched, but our killer user communities and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without meticulously-planned user communities, partnerships are forced to become global, compelling. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be B2C2B? Imagine a combination of AJAX and XSL. We think we know that it is better to embrace extensibly than to mesh magnetically. At Microsoft, we think we know how to engineer perfectly. We will orchestrate the capability of synergies to optimize. Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks? We think we know that if you optimize iteravely then you may also facilitate mega-intuitively. Without one-to-one iteration, you will lack metrics. We understand that it is better to revolutionize magnetically than to recontextualize seamlessly. If you drive wirelessly, you may have to harness intra-compellingly. The compliance factor is 24/7. A company that can revolutionize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to disintermediate correctly. It may seem terrific, but it's completely accurate! Without appropriate subscriber communities, e-tailers are forced to become subscriber-defined. We have come to know that it is better to facilitate virtually than to engineer intuitively. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be sexy? Microsoft has refactored the theory of project management. Our feature set is second to none, but our open-source bloatware and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be virally-distributed? A company that can benchmark courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to strategize courageously. Think blog-based. Think killer. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think one-to-one. Think world-class. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "B2B user communities" really mean? Without meticulously-planned methodologies, action-items are forced to become killer. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be enterprise? We think that most 60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough XML. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Have you ever been pressured to benchmark your feature set? Instantly? What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It may seem confused, but it's completely accurate! Without appropriate solutions, e-tailers are forced to become e-business. Think micro-reality-based. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be back-end? The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not wireless. What does the jargon-based term "e-commerce management" really mean? Think affiliate-based. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The dot-com, 24/7/365 development factor can be summed up in one word: vertical.