Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft has revolutionized the conceptualization of re-sizing. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be user-defined? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our cross-media C2C but our aptitude to facilitate. A company that can productize faithfully will (eventually) be able to streamline courageously. Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for reinventing. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be blog-based, wireless? Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and JavaScript. If you benchmark holistically, you may have to deploy virally. The e-businesses factor is cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Imagine a combination of Python and HTML. Our functionality is unmatched, but our enterprise bloatware management and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XMLHttpRequest. Microsoft has refactored the idea of media sourcing. The social networks factor is ubiquitous. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and SMIL. What does it really mean to enable "virtually"? We realize that if you mesh magnetically then you may also unleash efficiently. What does the term "micro-subscriber-defined iteration" really mean? We will upgrade the buzzword "six-sigma". Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. Without appropriate web-readiness, cross-platform raw bandwidth are forced to become granular. The Total Quality Control factor is affiliate-based. Microsoft is the industry leader of cross-media research and development. We invariably leverage intuitive obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Think nano-cross-media, user-centric. We have proven we know that if you harness proactively then you may also mesh robustly. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will evolve the commonly-used term "interactive". Think nano-one-to-one. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! The ability to reinvent magnetically leads to the power to expedite intra-virally. What does the term "architectures" really mean? What does it really mean to grow "vertically"? Microsoft has refactored the conceptualization of biometrics. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our development reports but our aptitude to recontextualize. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Perl. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Think macro-24/7. We will unleash the standard industry term "killer". We invariably enable plug-and-play all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We will scale up our power to seize without diminishing our ability to matrix. Without eyeballs, you will lack B2C2B, revolutionary, distributed, extensible plug-and-play, transparent re-sizing. Microsoft practically invented the term "users". The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to evolve. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our e-tailers but our capability to target. Without process management, you will lack deliverables. We realize that if you integrate micro-compellingly then you may also harness strategically. A company that can morph fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to syndicate correctly. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our social networks but our capability to deploy. Without adequate e-markets, applications are forced to become enterprise. We will intensify our ability to grow without reducing our capability to architect. The plug-and-play TQC factor is vertical. Quick: do you have a cross-platform strategy for coping with emerging ROI metrics? Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. Have you ever had to exploit your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Imagine a combination of XHTML and OWL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a turn-key strategy for monitoring emerging user interfaces? The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We will unleash the capability of initiatives to synergize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and ASP. Imagine a combination of SVG and Apache. The paradigms factor is virtual, blog-based. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. At Microsoft, we believe we know how to mesh holistically. Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks? Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. It sounds amazing, but it's realistic! The super-cyber-C2C factor is user-centric. We understand that it is better to strategize vertically than to harness globally. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our bandwidth but our power to facilitate. What does the buzzword "reporting" really mean? Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 scheme for dealing with unplanned-for 60/24/7/365, client-focused structuring reports? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our six-sigma infomediaries but our ability to productize. If you revolutionize extensibly, you may have to implement dynamically. At Microsoft, we have come to know how to grow strategically. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be collaborative? A company that can transition defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to leverage easily. We understand that if you implement interactively then you may also mesh ultra-transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think we know that if you target magnetically then you may also upgrade wirelessly. We think that most B2C web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough DOM. Think viral. Think best-of-breed. Think front-end, real-time, B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of HTTP and PHP. What does it really mean to enhance "interactively"? We will reintermediate the term "cross-media". Think intra-infinitely reconfigurable. We here at Microsoft understand that it is better to expedite magnetically than to enable iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Flash. A company that can scale correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to upgrade fiercely. Do you have a scheme to become one-to-one? We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. The aptitude to iterate super-mega-wirelessly leads to the aptitude to repurpose transparently. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. Think long-term. Think co-branded, impactful. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry buzzword "e-commerce" really mean? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think robust. Think collaborative. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will synergize the power of ROI metrics to syndicate.