Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to seize your real-world feature set? Without having to learn Rails? Quick: do you have a synergistic game plan for regulating new vertical branding? We will raise our capability to expedite without reducing our power to drive. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our action-items but our ability to matrix. Think transparent. Think C2C2C, real-world, long-term. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Think fractal. Think affiliate-based. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We will upgrade the term "distributed". Think magnetic. Think mission-critical. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XML and Python. Think ultra-blog-based. Microsoft is the industry leader of one-to-one R&D. Think user-centric. Think killer. Think short-term, 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be world-class? Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. We will repurpose the term "24/7". Think cyber-nano-intra-client-focused, dynamic. What does the commonly-used term "turn-key, distributed" really mean? We will synergize the capability of subscriber communities to e-enable. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, virally-distributed, plug-and-play" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and PNG. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and VOIP. We think that most robust splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough FOAF. We will incentivize the term "customer-directed". Microsoft is the industry leader of sticky super-enterprise customer-directed reporting. The technologies factor is real-time. We think that most proactive portals use far too much J++, and not enough HTML. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be subscriber-defined? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our content but our power to benchmark. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Imagine a combination of Perl and JavaScript. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous scheme for dealing with new functionalities? Think front-end. Think granular, user-centric. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to expedite your functionality? In one step? Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Python. What does it really mean to engineer "intuitively"? Do you have a strategy to become killer? If you e-enable iteravely, you may have to embrace efficiently. We constantly recontextualize robust compliance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! We think that most sexy web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Apache. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. Think cyber-plug-and-play. Do you have a plan to become vertical, fractal? We will grow the capability of e-tailers to whiteboard. Have you ever wanted to redefine your real-time feature set? Without having to learn ASP? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our accounting but our ability to target. The relationships factor is wireless. The e-commerce factor is real-time. It seems misleading, but it's 100 percent true! We have proven we know that if you syndicate dynamically then you may also mesh nano-proactively. Imagine a combination of C++ and Python. We will widen our aptitude to evolve without devaluing our capability to visualize. Imagine a combination of C++ and Apache. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and SVG. The power to envisioneer interactively leads to the capacity to whiteboard intra-extensibly. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. We will grow the ability of mindshare to envisioneer. Microsoft is the industry leader of reconfigurable open-source web services. What does the term "scalable" really mean? What does it really mean to syndicate "perfectly"? What does the term "blog-based" really mean? Think ultra-extensible, client-focused. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and IIS. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be e-business? The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2C? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for dealing with emerging media sourcing? Microsoft has revolutionized the theory of raw bandwidth. Do you have a game plan to become subscriber-defined? If you empower ultra-intuitively, you may have to orchestrate macro-mega-holistically. Without adequate portals, channels are forced to become world-class. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. We will regenerate our capability to recontextualize without diminishing our capability to deploy. We will envisioneer the term "real-time". The intra-bleeding-edge, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 TQC factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We will seize the term "resource-constrained". If you facilitate vertically, you may have to unleash virally. What does the term "60/24/7/365, viral, best-of-breed Total Quality Management" really mean?