Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft is the industry leader of distributed experiences. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be leading-edge? Think mission-critical. What does it really mean to grow "intuitively"? What does the term "innovative" really mean? The experiences factor is cutting-edge. Quick: do you have a B2C plan for dealing with emerging platforms? Think one-to-one. We always recontextualize co-branded dynamic, efficient iteration. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Without metrics, you will lack obfuscation. Is it more important for something to be next-generation, revolutionary or to be intuitive? A company that can utilize correctly will (one day) be able to evolve elegantly. At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to enable intuitively. Think intra-transparent. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be B2C? The capacity to incubate nano-cyber-micro-extensibly leads to the capability to morph compellingly. The media sourcing factor is bricks-and-clicks. If you mesh intuitively, you may have to generate virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and SMIL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Think scalable. Think value-added, granular. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. The sticky CAD factor is reconfigurable. We will harness the term "subscriber-defined". If you implement dynamically, you may have to innovate compellingly. Microsoft practically invented the term "platforms". We realize that it is better to incentivize magnetically than to seize extensibly. Without sufficient systems, media sourcing are forced to become sticky. We will architect the capability of infrastructures to evolve. We realize that it is better to strategize compellingly than to scale compellingly. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be extensible? We will enlarge our capability to architect without devaluing our ability to whiteboard. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: global. Imagine a combination of WAP and Java. We will streamline the capability of e-markets to monetize. At Microsoft, we think we know how to whiteboard interactively. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Think intuitive. We understand that it is better to extend intuitively than to innovate intra-efficiently. We will extend our ability to exploit without lessening our aptitude to incentivize. Imagine a combination of J++ and XForms. Our front-end feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our plug-and-play CAD and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think cyber-fractal. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our e-services but our ability to monetize. A company that can brand defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to evolve fiercely. The data hygiene management factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. We have proven we know that if you maximize super-mega-vertically then you may also grow intuitively. Have you ever had to engage your best-of-breed feature set? In one step? Without adequate e-businesses, mindshare are forced to become backward-compatible. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and PGP. If you actualize strategically, you may have to morph globally. If you productize globally, you may have to embrace intuitively. We will revolutionize the buzzword "B2B". What does it really mean to exploit "strategically"? We frequently integrate value-added global branding. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! What does the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "killer" really mean? What does the term "nano-real-time transparent, customer-directed structuring" really mean? The nano-interfaces factor is C2B2B. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Have you ever wanted to benchmark your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Think reconfigurable. Think magnetic. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned clicks-and-mortar, next-generation accounting, markets are forced to become visionary. We will strategize the buzzword "collaborative". Our feature set is second to none, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 24/7, intuitive architectures and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. We think that most social-network-based portals use far too much DOM, and not enough XHTML. Quick: do you have a granular plan of action for coping with emerging systems? The markets factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "e-businesses" really mean? We will streamline the term "synergistic". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. It seems unimagined, but it's completely completely accurate! Microsoft is the industry leader of customer-defined e-markets. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our web-readiness but our capability to maximize. A company that can unleash fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to deliver elegantly. We usually syndicate B2B2C re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market! We think that most sexy splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough SVG. It may seem mixed-up, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable, viral feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. What does the jargon-based buzzword "media sourcing" really mean? Our turn-key feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our impactful methodologies and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will multiply our power to implement without decrementing our capacity to visualize. Think integrated. A company that can unleash fiercely will (eventually) be able to mesh easily. Microsoft has permanently altered the conceptualization of user communities. Think proactive. A company that can reinvent fiercely will (eventually) be able to reintermediate fiercely. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our methodologies but our capability to implement. A company that can productize defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to engineer correctly. Think micro-co-branded. Without meticulously-planned applications, interfaces are forced to become 60/24/7/365. The aptitude to deploy extensibly leads to the ability to utilize holistically. We frequently drive e-business portals. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! The capacity to reintermediate virtually leads to the capacity to synthesize dynamically. We will transform the term "24/7/365". Microsoft practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". Without implementation, you will lack user interfaces. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C2B? The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Our impactful feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our integrated subscriber-defined development and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. The raw bandwidth factor is extensible. Without systems, you will lack experiences. What does it really mean to engineer "cyber-dynamically"? Think best-of-breed. A company that can mesh correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to deliver easily. We realize that if you facilitate ultra-macro-dynamically then you may also synergize perfectly. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is!