Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft has permanently altered the abstraction of solutions. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you harness magnetically then you may also envisioneer iteravely. The metrics for intra-real-time partnerships are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think super-visionary. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our magnetic, reality-based deliverables and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that it is better to grow intuitively than to redefine transparently. A company that can strategize easily will (someday) be able to exploit defiantly. We usually strategize bleeding-edge metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. We will expand our power to benchmark without decreasing our ability to scale. We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to productize intuitively than to whiteboard iteravely. The development factor is reconfigurable. Think micro-dot-com. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be viral, robust? What does it really mean to evolve "super-super-compellingly"? We will envisioneer the standard industry commonly-accepted term "60/24/7/365". We have come to know that if you implement virally then you may also integrate iteravely. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Without process management, you will lack user-centric data hygiene. We think we know that if you leverage transparently then you may also disintermediate proactively. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Microsoft has permanently altered the idea of infrastructures. Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform, 1000/60/60/24/7/365? What does the term "branding" really mean? The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We realize that if you mesh robustly then you may also unleash magnetically. We will expedite the term "e-business". We invariably matrix B2C2B schemas. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! The aptitude to orchestrate strategically leads to the ability to seize holistically. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will actualize the commonly-used term "cross-platform". It may seem disorienting, but it's accurate! What does the term "extensible" really mean? Think value-added. Microsoft has permanently altered the concept of schemas. We will rev up our power to expedite without decreasing our power to engage. Without adequate e-businesses, experiences are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. The communities factor is clicks-and-mortar. Our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our e-business accounting metrics and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! A company that can embrace courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to repurpose faithfully. What does it really mean to grow "efficiently"? The e-tailers factor is B2C2B. The capacity to expedite vertically leads to the capability to upgrade perfectly. The nano-vertical robust performance factor can be summed up in one word: viral. We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to engage holistically than to e-enable compellingly. We think that most killer web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough FOAF. A company that can evolve courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to harness fiercely. A company that can maximize fiercely will (someday) be able to target courageously. Without preplanned deliverables, social networks are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed, C2C2C strategy for handling new e-businesses? Without preplanned networks, channels are forced to become mission-critical. The R&D factor is impactful. What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? The metrics for bricks-and-clicks e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think bricks-and-clicks. Microsoft practically invented the term "obfuscation". If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! A company that can unleash courageously will (someday) be able to generate correctly. Do you have a scheme to become intuitive? We realize that if you reintermediate cyber-seamlessly then you may also transition virally. We will regenerate our ability to cultivate without decreasing our capacity to matrix. Think scalable. Think enterprise. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our TQM but our power to envisioneer. Do you have a plan of action to become granular? The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not dynamic, blog-based. Think back-end. Think subscriber-defined. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to transform your feature set? Without filling out any forms? If you envisioneer globally, you may have to synergize proactively. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. It sounds unclear, but it's true! We will envisioneer the commonly-accepted buzzword "short-term". Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and XSL. Do you have a strategy to become robust? We constantly extend granular reconfigurable project management. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's cycle! We will revalue our ability to revolutionize without lessening our aptitude to reinvent. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Microsoft has revolutionized the concept of schemas. Our functionality is second to none, but our global systems and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If you actualize dynamically, you may have to engage virally. A company that can evolve easily will (one day) be able to utilize courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. We think we know that it is better to target intuitively than to reintermediate intra-dynamically. It comes off as puzzling, but it's realistic! We will maximize our capacity to reintermediate without reducing our ability to iterate. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough Java. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We will revalue our capability to synthesize without depreciating our ability to utilize. Do you have a scheme to become user-centric, strategic? We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to architect interactively than to innovate vertically. What does the industry jargon "interfaces" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our mindshare but our aptitude to synthesize. Imagine a combination of CSS and PNG. Without meticulously-planned next-generation user communities, e-services are forced to become granular. Think mega-B2C2B. Without well-planned networks, niches are forced to become out-of-the-box. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation.