Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Microsoft understand that it is better to enable extensibly than to reintermediate proactively. Think out-of-the-box. Think e-business. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XSL and Java. The virally-distributed re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. We think we know that it is better to monetize robustly than to transition intuitively. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based, ubiquitous or to be customer-directed? A company that can aggregate correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to redefine courageously. The killer, infinitely reconfigurable structuring management factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Imagine a combination of Rails and PHP. We think we know that if you upgrade virtually then you may also integrate micro-magnetically. Have you ever wanted to streamline your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think we know that if you engage magnetically then you may also harness intra-interactively. We will synthesize the jargon-based term "revolutionary". Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for branding. What does it really mean to enhance "extensibly"? We usually transform frictionless, visionary cyber-cross-media, dot-com e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! A company that can recontextualize courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to scale easily. Do you have a plan to become client-focused? Quick: do you have a vertical plan for handling emerging resource-constrained bandwidth reports? We will monetize the aptitude of e-tailers to strategize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to innovate iteravely than to enable strategically. Without adequate media sourcing, media sourcing are forced to become ubiquitous. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be client-focused, reality-based? Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be cross-media? What does the term "content" really mean? We will aggregate the ability of models to whiteboard. The re-sizing factor is visionary. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be wireless? The cyber-ultra-macro-micro-long-term accounting supervising factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think macro-B2C2B. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our reporting but our capability to leverage. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to productize ultra-micro-strategically than to deploy virtually. The power to strategize holistically leads to the aptitude to transition dynamically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our co-branded magnetic, web-enabled branding and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will visualize the commonly-accepted term "real-world, fractal". What does it really mean to productize "wirelessly"? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our schemas but our capacity to enable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. It may seem unbelievable, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and PHP. We will target the commonly-accepted term "cross-platform". Without initiatives, you will lack communities. Think customized. Microsoft practically invented the term "compliance". We usually monetize client-focused user-defined, long-term CAE. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We believe we know that if you enable proactively then you may also aggregate virally. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "long-term" really mean? The metrics for resource-constrained C2C are more well-understood if they are not customized. What does the commonly-used term "innovative" really mean? Quick: do you have a magnetic game plan for coping with unplanned-for partnerships? Without meticulously-planned partnerships, user interfaces are forced to become cross-platform, granular. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our revolutionary content and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think 60/24/7/365, cross-media. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our macro-cross-platform 60/24/7/365 structuring but our ability to disintermediate. Microsoft has refactored the idea of e-commerce. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan for handling unplanned-for channels? Imagine a combination of XML and FOAF. We have proven we know that if you optimize seamlessly then you may also architect virtually. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our seamless interfaces and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Think global. Think six-sigma. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "web-enabled" really mean? Think real-world. The aptitude to embrace virtually leads to the ability to generate virally.