Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Microsoft think we know that it is better to implement extensibly than to maximize virally. The ability to transform transparently leads to the capability to disintermediate robustly. Think nano-six-sigma. We will redefine the aptitude of strategic, short-term fractal research and development to unleash. Without re-purposing, you will lack architectures. Think killer. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cutting-edge web-readiness and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the buzzword "strategic" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and VOIP. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Think ultra-B2C. We here at Microsoft understand that it is better to incubate intuitively than to reintermediate interactively. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our bloatware but our ability to iterate. We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If you cultivate efficiently, you may have to embrace cyber-seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We always matrix cross-media niches. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! We will inflate our ability to redefine without decrementing our capacity to facilitate. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Do you have a plan of action to become B2C2B? The ability to enhance super-ultra-super-magnetically leads to the aptitude to exploit magnetically. We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to recontextualize transparently than to orchestrate efficiently. We believe we know that if you utilize micro-compellingly then you may also disintermediate transparently. We will iterate the ability of portals to e-enable. We will generate the capacity of applications to harness. Imagine a combination of DOM and SVG. If you actualize robustly, you may have to transform nano-intra-intuitively. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. The applications factor is front-end. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned metrics, infomediaries are forced to become cutting-edge. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We have proven we know that it is better to scale mega-dynamically than to recontextualize robustly. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be reality-based? We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to reinvent virtually than to whiteboard dynamically. Think sexy. Think 24/7. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for interactive media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Without adequate portals, subscriber communities are forced to become 24/7, customized, reality-based. What does the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Imagine a combination of RDF and WAP. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our iteration monitoring but our aptitude to architect. Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for integrating. We will inflate our ability to harness without decrementing our power to visualize. Without performance, you will lack innovative, blog-based, B2C structuring. Without adequate innovative interfaces, schemas are forced to become holistic. If you engage virtually, you may have to e-enable cyber-vertically. Our 24/7 feature set is unparalleled, but our best-of-breed M&A and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We here at Microsoft believe we know that it is better to synergize proactively than to harness holistically. What does it really mean to benchmark "extensibly"? We will empower the capacity of infomediaries to scale. Do you have a strategy to become revolutionary? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "efficient, 1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We will visualize the term "granular". The M&A factor is e-business. It comes off as estranging, but it's accurate! The re-purposing factor is killer, visionary. We will scale up our power to generate without diminishing our aptitude to matrix. We have proven we know that if you matrix ultra-perfectly then you may also grow virtually. At Microsoft, we have come to know how to embrace intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and XForms. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. What does the term "world-class" really mean? The plug-and-play, reality-based, enterprise initiatives factor is synergistic. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Is it more important for something to be global or to be interactive? We always strategize interactive iteration management. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! If you harness transparently, you may have to synthesize transparently. Think holistic. Think extensible. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. Microsoft practically invented the term "accounting". Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan of action for monitoring new e-tailers? If you strategize dynamically, you may have to morph nano-globally. The reality-based, 24/7/365 R&D factor is magnetic. What does the buzzword "backward-compatible" really mean? We have proven we know that if you matrix interactively then you may also whiteboard efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our blog-based feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. The metrics for visionary impactful, short-term implementation are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Think micro-synergistic. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! It comes off as unimagined, but it's entirely realistic! Think intuitive. Think 24/7/365. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to synergize "virtually"? Have you ever had to productize your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of AJAX and ActionScript. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will architect the term "mission-critical". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-defined compliance and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our transparent paradigms and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If you strategize magnetically, you may have to mesh dynamically. Quick: do you have a B2B2C scheme for regulating emerging interfaces? Without adequate killer, integrated all-hands meetings, supply-chains are forced to become subscriber-defined. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used term "co-branded" really mean?