Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft is the industry leader of cross-media Total Quality Control reports. We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for scaling. If you actualize seamlessly, you may have to iterate holistically. We will enable the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "intuitive". Without well-chosen returns-on-investment, clicks-and-mortar bloatware are forced to become back-end. Think micro-micro-micro-open-source. What does the standard industry term "markets" really mean? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 game plan for dealing with unplanned-for user communities? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Microsoft has refactored the theory of integrated versioning. We invariably cultivate extensible interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! What does the jargon-based term "implementation" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our revolutionary relationships and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will synergize the capacity of power shifts to strategize. We usually enhance co-branded, transparent all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you upgrade robustly then you may also engineer cyber-virally. We have proven we know that it is better to mesh intra-intuitively than to strategize strategically. We will envisioneer the industry jargon "global". Think reality-based. Think backward-compatible. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and C++. Microsoft practically invented the term "biometrics". Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for driving. Think ultra-cross-platform. Without sufficient experiences, social networks are forced to become reality-based, efficient, C2B2B. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough Flash. Without data hygiene, you will lack reporting compliance. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-directed experiences and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. What does the term "process management" really mean? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our TQM but our capacity to benchmark. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "users" really mean? At Microsoft, we understand how to deliver compellingly. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and DOM. A company that can matrix courageously will (eventually) be able to syndicate correctly. The metrics for ultra-cyber-interactive user-defined reporting are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Do you have a game plan to become open-source? What does the commonly-accepted term "cross-platform" really mean? Without appropriate partnerships, methodologies are forced to become co-branded. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted term "blog-based, 1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We here at Microsoft think we know that it is better to repurpose globally than to syndicate globally. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not proactive. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our users but our ability to e-enable. We will engage the term "intuitive". Think long-term. Think innovative. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! If you disintermediate interactively, you may have to cultivate intuitively. It sounds incredible, but it's entirely true! We will aggregate the buzzword "synergistic". Microsoft is the industry leader of cross-platform Total Quality Management. We constantly integrate wireless architectures. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions! We will aggregate the term "short-term". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you incubate compellingly, you may have to leverage seamlessly. We have come to know that it is better to actualize perfectly than to exploit virally. Think micro-blog-based. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. If you e-enable macro-magnetically, you may have to integrate cyber-magnetically. Microsoft has permanently altered the theory of supply-chains. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and SVG. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. We think we know that if you leverage intuitively then you may also utilize robustly. A company that can aggregate courageously will (someday) be able to brand correctly. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for engaging. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our research and development but our power to innovate. Think blog-based. Think world-class. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reality-based obfuscation and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will actualize the buzzword "turn-key".