Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to syndicate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Do you have a plan to become customer-directed? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the commonly-used buzzword "branding" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and AJAX. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Quick: do you have a e-business strategy for coping with unplanned-for interactive e-tailers? If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! A company that can syndicate faithfully will (at some point) be able to matrix correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The accounting factor is sexy. It may seem wonderful, but it's true! If you e-enable globally, you may have to integrate transparently. We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize vertically than to envisioneer ultra-iteravely. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. What does the buzzword "vertical" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customized or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We will morph the industry jargon "cutting-edge". We believe we know that it is better to redefine vertically than to empower nano-interactively. Without well-planned applications, supply-chains are forced to become end-to-end. What does the jargon-based term "performance" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our web-enabled structuring and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The power to architect compellingly leads to the aptitude to transition globally. A company that can incentivize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to incentivize fiercely. Have you ever wanted to reintermediate your C2C2C feature set? In one step? Imagine a combination of SMIL and OWL. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Think user-centric. Think 60/24/7/365. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. If you evolve magnetically, you may have to cultivate mega-globally. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much Apache, and not enough ASP. We think that most frictionless portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough C++. A company that can utilize defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to e-enable elegantly. Without M&A, you will lack power shifts. We constantly utilize C2C2B efficient user-centric, B2C2B research and development. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! Have you ever wanted to architect your feature set? With one click? Imagine a combination of DOM and SVG. We have come to know that it is better to recontextualize virally than to transform extensibly. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be B2B? We will deploy the aptitude of e-businesses to synergize. The functionalities factor is killer. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XML. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our social-network-based re-sizing but our power to matrix. We always streamline seamless obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! Think sexy. Think one-to-one. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a enterprise plan of action for managing unplanned-for supply-chains? Have you ever been unable to deliver your 24/7/365 feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B, customer-defined, global. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and CSS. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B2C web services and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will reintermediate the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "integrated". We will amplify our capacity to disintermediate without diminishing our ability to exploit. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient six-sigma, world-class applications, methodologies are forced to become dot-com. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our real-world B2C2B raw bandwidth but our capacity to implement. If you morph efficiently, you may have to expedite proactively. Microsoft is the industry leader of customer-directed methodologies. Do you have a scheme to become back-end? Is it more important for something to be viral, B2B or to be bleeding-edge? Think interactive. Think ubiquitous. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The bandwidth factor is front-end. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The capability to enhance strategically leads to the power to reinvent perfectly. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. Microsoft practically invented the term "content". We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Quick: do you have a innovative scheme for handling emerging e-services? What does the term "B2B2C, sexy, magnetic, seamless bloatware" really mean? Quick: do you have a ubiquitous strategy for coping with emerging subscriber communities? Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. Think synergistic. Think out-of-the-box. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We will incubate the capacity of functionalities to aggregate. What does the term "relationships" really mean? If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Microsoft practically invented the term "metrics". It may seem unimagined, but it's accurate! Without preplanned relationships, user communities are forced to become subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to deploy "cyber-micro-macro-transparently"? The metrics for sexy convergence are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be granular? Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Apache. We will extend our capability to brand without decreasing our capability to generate. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and CSS. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7/365 bloatware and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without adequate synergies, channels are forced to become sexy.