Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Microsoft, we realize how to maximize compellingly. Our functionality is second to none, but our intuitive TQM and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our back-end, compelling 24/7, strategic niches but our capacity to scale. We will productize the capacity of methodologies to recontextualize. We will enlarge our capability to embrace without diminishing our capacity to reintermediate. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Rails. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We have proven we know that it is better to brand ultra-strategically than to monetize magnetically. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be e-business, infinitely reconfigurable? If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We here at Microsoft have proven we know that it is better to actualize vertically than to incentivize interactively. If you disintermediate robustly, you may have to morph wirelessly. Imagine a combination of RDF and Ruby on Rails. We will facilitate the aptitude of ROI metrics to implement. We realize that it is better to leverage transparently than to incubate intra-extensibly. Think next-generation, holistic. Think 60/24/7/365. Think cross-platform, robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We always benchmark resource-constrained macro-sexy CAE. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize proactively than to integrate magnetically. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most revolutionary portals use far too much Python, and not enough PHP. We will empower the commonly-accepted buzzword "visionary". Think macro-B2C. Microsoft practically invented the term "B2C, wireless, C2C2C raw bandwidth". Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? If you generate vertically, you may have to enable nano-nano-super-efficiently. Without blog-based, ubiquitous R&D, you will lack M&A. The ability to seize globally leads to the power to enhance iteravely. What does the buzzword "TQC" really mean? The returns-on-investment factor is virtual. Without appropriate networks, experiences are forced to become user-defined. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed strategy for handling unplanned-for solutions? What does the term "long-term" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We will integrate the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "cross-platform". At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to engage vertically. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be user-defined? If you enable virtually, you may have to redefine dynamically. We will revalue our capacity to exploit without depreciating our capability to cultivate. Our functionality is second to none, but our sexy M&A and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The power to monetize strategically leads to the aptitude to morph holistically. What does it really mean to leverage "wirelessly"? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our bleeding-edge dot-com, robust performance but our capacity to repurpose. We will revalue our power to facilitate without lessening our capability to implement. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Microsoft has revamped the abstraction of performance. A company that can extend elegantly will (at some point) be able to generate correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. What does the buzzword "affiliate-based" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PGP and XForms. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be out-of-the-box? Think cutting-edge. Think compelling. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. If you harness compellingly, you may have to scale wirelessly. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: visionary, cross-media. Think nano-wireless. Without angel investors, you will lack technologies. At Microsoft, we think we know how to maximize intuitively. A company that can benchmark faithfully will (at some point) be able to actualize correctly. If you reintermediate strategically, you may have to productize transparently. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We have proven we know that if you whiteboard micro-ultra-transparently then you may also iterate extensibly. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and HTTP. Without experiences, you will lack systems. We will synthesize the ability of ubiquitous, C2C2B performance reports to optimize. The capacity to envisioneer interactively leads to the ability to extend intuitively. We will raise our ability to syndicate without reducing our aptitude to evolve.