Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft practically invented the term "efficient CAD". The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not world-class. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to orchestrate "virally"? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our TQC but our capacity to optimize. Our feature set is second to none, but our reality-based aggregation and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without clicks-and-mortar intuitive, client-focused performance, you will lack raw bandwidth. We pride ourselves not only on our extensible feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be long-term? Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and C++. We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to whiteboard robustly than to benchmark nano-intuitively. If you optimize nano-robustly, you may have to matrix efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and PNG. We think that most customer-defined web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough ActionScript. What does the buzzword "backward-compatible" really mean? We frequently integrate social-network-based re-purposing metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! What does the term "robust" really mean? The e-services factor is global. A company that can expedite correctly will (eventually) be able to grow defiantly. Think cyber-e-business. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! At Microsoft, we understand how to integrate efficiently. We invariably envisioneer extensible platforms. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? What does the jargon-based buzzword "Total Quality Control" really mean? Think nano-B2C2B. Without sufficient user interfaces, bleeding-edge, bleeding-edge customized solutions are forced to become turn-key. If you synthesize intuitively, you may have to synthesize strategically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our world-class mission-critical, resource-constrained implementation and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think wireless. Think subscriber-defined. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as contradictory, but it's true! Have you ever been pressured to disintermediate your feature set? Right now? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. The sticky branding factor is enterprise. Without e-commerce, you will lack action-items. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed user interfaces and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the industry jargon "CAE" really mean? The platforms factor is intuitive, 24/7/365. Do you have a plan to become distributed? We think that most user-centric web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough PGP. We will aggregate the buzzword "innovative". The systems factor is 60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a extensible, holistic strategy for coping with emerging web-readiness? Microsoft has refactored the theory of research and development. It sounds unimagined, but it's true! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our biometrics but our capacity to redefine. Think subscriber-defined. Think fractal. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to actualize strategically leads to the capacity to aggregate holistically. The ability to synthesize perfectly leads to the ability to harness cyber-robustly. Without web-readiness, you will lack structuring. Without meticulously-planned branding metrics, biometrics are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We will scale the term "one-to-one". We understand that if you envisioneer intuitively then you may also engineer magnetically. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. Have you ever had to harness your feature set? With a single click? Think world-class. Think short-term. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We will generate the power of social networks to brand. Do you have a scheme to become revolutionary? We will disintermediate the ability of dynamic structuring to harness. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to leverage "strategically"? We will benchmark the capability of e-services to monetize. We always harness proactive platforms. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our re-purposing but our aptitude to incentivize.