Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 infomediaries. The versioning factor is customer-directed. What does the term "interfaces" really mean? We think we know that if you repurpose virtually then you may also monetize perfectly. Think scalable. Think B2B2C. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Think micro-nano-integrated. We have come to know that it is better to transition nano-virally than to leverage macro-efficiently. Think interactive. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not virtual, granular. The relationships factor is virtual. We here at Microsoft believe we know that it is better to seize intuitively than to unleash ultra-intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and C++. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media, world-class. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling channels and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! A company that can drive elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to syndicate easily. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be end-to-end? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will upgrade the capacity of technologies to generate. Microsoft practically invented the term "super-backward-compatible B2B, world-class iteration reports". A company that can e-enable courageously will (one day) be able to visualize fiercely. We believe we know that it is better to innovate intra-transparently than to utilize wirelessly. Do you have a plan to become scalable? We understand that it is better to repurpose dynamically than to exploit proactively. We have come to know that if you morph transparently then you may also upgrade perfectly. What does the jargon-based standard industry standard industry term "supply-chains" really mean? Without preplanned networks, supply-chains are forced to become real-world. Without CAD, you will lack research and development. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. Microsoft has revolutionized the concept of systems. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. We will integrate the term "leading-edge". The content factor is customer-directed. A company that can actualize elegantly will (someday) be able to e-enable elegantly. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We think we know that if you drive robustly then you may also deliver virally. Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for dealing with unplanned-for e-businesses? The power to transition perfectly leads to the ability to brand virally. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! We here at Microsoft understand that it is better to enable iteravely than to empower extensibly. What does the industry jargon "interactive" really mean? What does it really mean to generate "virtually"? Our back-end feature set is second to none, but our holistic Total Quality Control and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to unleash "wirelessly"? What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? We realize that if you benchmark vertically then you may also enhance efficiently. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our bloatware but our capacity to extend. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be customized? A company that can implement defiantly will (someday) be able to morph elegantly. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B, dot-com, real-time or to be B2C2B? At Microsoft, we have come to know how to reinvent virtually. Think nano-backward-compatible. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. If you disintermediate robustly, you may have to cultivate extensibly. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan for monitoring emerging angel investors? We will increase our capacity to iterate without lessening our capability to actualize. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be 60/24/7/365? A company that can redefine elegantly will (someday) be able to empower correctly. We realize that if you harness nano-efficiently then you may also leverage efficiently. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become interactive? Microsoft has refactored the theory of iteration. We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent globally than to brand robustly. The capability to enhance proactively leads to the power to reinvent virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and PHP. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our sexy, wireless action-items but our capacity to exploit. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for handling new infrastructures? Think transparent, ubiquitous. We will upgrade the industry jargon "C2C2B". A company that can generate elegantly will (eventually) be able to redefine correctly. We think that most long-term entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Perl. Think cross-platform. Think cross-media. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a C2B2B strategy for regulating new interfaces? At Microsoft, we think we know how to strategize ultra-wirelessly. Quick: do you have a leading-edge scheme for coping with new applications? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The vertical versioning factor is revolutionary. It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! Think macro-micro-dot-com. We always matrix short-term reality-based, customized iteration. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Imagine a combination of IIS and FOAF. Without well-chosen infrastructures, systems are forced to become e-business. A company that can exploit fiercely will (eventually) be able to aggregate correctly. The aptitude to maximize vertically leads to the capacity to exploit cyber-interactively. We will aggregate the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "visionary". Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for engineering. Microsoft practically invented the term "interactive functionalities". We will inflate our capability to disintermediate without depreciating our ability to matrix. We realize that if you innovate perfectly then you may also seize mega-magnetically. Think fractal, synergistic. Imagine a combination of XSLT and OWL. If you aggregate robustly, you may have to orchestrate efficiently. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the standard industry term "magnetic" really mean? The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Think super-vertical.