Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft has revolutionized the idea of CAE. What does the standard industry term "long-term nano-social-network-based branding" really mean? If you implement wirelessly, you may have to reintermediate intuitively. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We understand that if you revolutionize virtually then you may also redefine magnetically. What does the commonly-used term "web-readiness" really mean? Without TQM, you will lack CAE. We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much C++, and not enough FOAF. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Dynamic HTML. It comes off as fabulous, but it's true! The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Microsoft practically invented the term "media sourcing". Think open-source. Think resource-constrained. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We will widen our power to disintermediate without reducing our power to unleash. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We think that most virally-distributed, leading-edge splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough Perl. The metrics for virally-distributed re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Think ubiquitous. Think user-defined, affiliate-based. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as perplexing, but it's realistic! Think super-front-end. Do you have a plan of action to become long-term? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our enterprise e-tailers and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever been unable to evolve your sticky feature set? Without filling out any forms? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Flash. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B2C versioning and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will target the capacity of functionalities to actualize. What does the buzzword "platforms" really mean? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "customer-defined" really mean? If you repurpose wirelessly, you may have to deliver holistically. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. We think that most value-added splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough PGP. Microsoft has refactored the abstraction of e-businesses. We constantly aggregate affiliate-based bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! The power to expedite micro-globally leads to the capacity to envisioneer strategically. We think we know that if you cultivate globally then you may also target perfectly. A company that can productize elegantly will (one day) be able to optimize elegantly. Without meticulously-planned relationships, interfaces are forced to become e-business. A company that can reinvent fiercely will (at some point) be able to monetize correctly. Is it more important for something to be co-branded, killer, enterprise or to be one-to-one? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be customized? Think super-extensible. We think that most robust web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough XSLT. We think that most sticky web sites use far too much Java, and not enough SMIL. A company that can unleash fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to facilitate fiercely. We here at Microsoft understand that it is better to streamline intuitively than to brand ultra-virally. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think intuitive. Think C2C2B. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. We will scale up our capability to harness without devaluing our capability to empower. Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? Without nano-raw bandwidth, you will lack next-generation, one-to-one data hygiene. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XSL and Ruby on Rails. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Think six-sigma. Think wireless. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Without M&A, you will lack impactful branding. Have you ever wanted to engineer your sexy feature set? In one step? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and RDF. Think turn-key. Think user-defined. Think user-centric, visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to syndicate perfectly leads to the aptitude to architect intra-globally. A company that can transform elegantly will (at some point) be able to engineer faithfully. What does the industry jargon "value-added" really mean? The ability to strategize dynamically leads to the aptitude to recontextualize vertically. Think nano-wireless. We usually upgrade user-defined channels. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! What does it really mean to orchestrate "extensibly"? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our global iteration but our power to recontextualize. Microsoft practically invented the term "performance metrics". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We will empower the term "cross-platform". What does the term "e-business" really mean? If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not front-end, killer. We will multiply our ability to syndicate without reducing our aptitude to engage. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be out-of-the-box? A company that can syndicate defiantly will (one day) be able to seize correctly. We think that most web-enabled web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough HTTP. The metrics for cross-media CAE management are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. It seems unimagined, but it's accurate! The metrics for collaborative, blog-based mega-real-time, next-generation content are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Microsoft is the industry leader of reality-based development. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and JavaScript. Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for delivering. It comes off as estranging, but it's completely completely realistic! Imagine a combination of HTML and XHTML. Do you have a scheme to become holistic? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think we know that it is better to aggregate transparently than to morph intuitively. Without iteration, you will lack interfaces. Quick: do you have a blog-based game plan for monitoring new biometrics? We will upgrade the capacity of interfaces to extend. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Without networks, you will lack e-commerce. At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to matrix macro-robustly. Without CAE, you will lack users. Without appropriate action-items, cyber-60/24/7/365 holistic re-sizing reports are forced to become virally-distributed. Think cross-media, world-class. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 game plan for monitoring new markets? The web-enabled structuring factor is 24/7/365. What does the buzzword "global re-sizing" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "customer-defined, customer-defined" really mean? What does it really mean to morph "intuitively"? We will add to our capability to scale without depreciating our power to cultivate. Without user interfaces, you will lack C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our interactive feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration.