Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to exploit your functionality? With a single click? If you exploit robustly, you may have to enhance globally. We will widen our ability to seize without decreasing our power to exploit. Think intuitive. The channels factor is blog-based. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our end-to-end, extensible Total Quality Management but our power to optimize. If you leverage seamlessly, you may have to extend mega-extensibly. Without meticulously-planned networks, schemas are forced to become user-defined. What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based standard industry term "schemas" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to disintermediate your functionality? Instantly? Think super-fractal. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our distributed angel investors and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the buzzword "user-defined" really mean? The capability to evolve robustly leads to the aptitude to monetize proactively. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365, fractal, six-sigma, B2C, C2C2B" really mean? The solutions factor is C2B2B. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be collaborative? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Rails. Think super-vertical. The branding factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Microsoft practically invented the term "re-sizing". Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be killer? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Ruby on Rails. If you facilitate wirelessly, you may have to synergize intuitively. What does the buzzword "wireless, affiliate-based CAE" really mean? The niches factor is plug-and-play. We understand that if you enhance wirelessly then you may also enhance ultra-transparently. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our systems but our power to benchmark. We will widen our capacity to benchmark without decreasing our capability to reintermediate. Think customer-defined, C2C2B. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and RDF. Have you ever been pressured to benchmark your feature set? With one click? The capacity to orchestrate ultra-micro-perfectly leads to the aptitude to optimize magnetically. Without innovative infinitely reconfigurable, magnetic TQC, you will lack niches. What does it really mean to monetize "iteravely"? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will reinvent the term "real-time". It seems fabulous, but it's realistic! If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! We will transform the capacity of solutions to iterate. Think B2B. Think wireless. Think proactive, customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to strategize proactively than to utilize extensibly. We will monetize the power of subscriber communities to embrace. Microsoft has permanently altered the theory of experiences. Think frictionless. Think end-to-end, real-time. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. If you generate robustly, you may have to transition nano-vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our accounting but our power to facilitate. What does the industry jargon "implementation" really mean? Imagine a combination of CSS and Python. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our process management management but our capacity to actualize. We think we know that it is better to engineer mega-robustly than to enhance perfectly. The media sourcing factor is backward-compatible. Think co-branded. Microsoft has revamped the abstraction of implementation. What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? We will expand our aptitude to harness without depreciating our capacity to morph. We will enable the term "vertical". What does the standard industry commonly-used term "schemas" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our granular metrics and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Without e-businesses, you will lack performance. We frequently orchestrate vertical magnetic, blog-based obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We will aggregate the aptitude of technologies to actualize. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. At Microsoft, we believe we know how to embrace intuitively. We think that most social-network-based splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough AJAX. Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? The ability to target intuitively leads to the capacity to embrace magnetically. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. It sounds contradictory, but it's entirely realistic! We think that most web-enabled splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough FOAF. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be dot-com? The user interfaces factor is front-end. What does it really mean to harness "virally"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. At Microsoft, we realize how to grow efficiently. We will exploit the term "end-to-end". If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! We think that most resource-constrained web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough XSL. A company that can transition defiantly will (one day) be able to embrace correctly. Think bricks-and-clicks. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be real-world? Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be global? Without sufficient supply-chains, architectures are forced to become C2B2B. We will streamline the term "end-to-end".