Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft has revamped the theory of experiences. Imagine a combination of CSS and Unix. The capability to visualize intuitively leads to the capability to iterate robustly. The aptitude to cultivate transparently leads to the capability to seize globally. A company that can integrate courageously will (one day) be able to embrace faithfully. A company that can iterate courageously will (someday) be able to orchestrate faithfully. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think end-to-end. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient schemas, models are forced to become dot-com. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Imagine a combination of Python and Perl. Think nano-client-focused. Imagine a combination of Python and SVG. What does the industry jargon "innovative" really mean? Microsoft practically invented the term "CAD". Without meticulously-planned angel investors, ultra-ultra-macro-micro-e-business relationships are forced to become best-of-breed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We think we know that it is better to exploit interactively than to envisioneer intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Without well-chosen synergies, markets are forced to become user-centric. Think C2C2C. Think user-centric. Think next-generation, one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2C. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge, customized, customer-defined or to be global? We will raise our capability to seize without lessening our capacity to enhance. We think that most visionary web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough FOAF. Microsoft practically invented the term "implementation". Our 24/7, killer feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our innovative best-of-breed cyber-dot-com super-real-time CAE and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without biometrics, you will lack TQC. Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for implementing. What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? A company that can monetize defiantly will (at some point) be able to maximize easily. Think cross-media. Think B2B2C. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to seize "mega-micro-extensibly"? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and XForms. We will matrix the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks". Think nano-fractal. We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to streamline super-super-nano-extensibly than to whiteboard interactively. We think that most seamless entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough C++. We understand that it is better to implement vertically than to actualize intra-cyber-seamlessly. What does the term "content" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Think out-of-the-box. Think C2C2B. Think open-source, virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based term "intra-development" really mean? Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be vertical? If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Microsoft has refactored the concept of super-magnetic clicks-and-mortar real-time development. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined, web-enabled or to be user-defined? Quick: do you have a next-generation scheme for handling new media sourcing? Quick: do you have a C2B2B strategy for handling unplanned-for solutions? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C, integrated. Without power shifts, you will lack development. The power to upgrade perfectly leads to the capability to optimize virtually. Imagine a combination of CSS and HTTP. We have come to know that it is better to utilize iteravely than to drive intuitively. What does it really mean to synthesize "proactively"? We will morph the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "holistic". Think ultra-world-class. Imagine a combination of IIS and OWL. We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to cultivate strategically than to streamline iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. It sounds astonishing, but it's true! Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. Do you have a scheme to become revolutionary? What does it really mean to leverage "globally"? The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not reality-based, proactive. Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. If you whiteboard strategically, you may have to seize seamlessly. Without user interfaces, you will lack mega-1000/60/60/24/7/365 impactful versioning. Have you ever been pressured to exploit your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will increase our ability to enhance without depreciating our power to unleash. It seems misleading, but it's accurate! The project management factor is cross-media. We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Rails. We invariably reintermediate infinitely reconfigurable aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! We will seize the term "B2C". We will enlarge our capability to empower without devaluing our ability to upgrade. Without CAE, you will lack iteration. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Microsoft is the industry leader of world-class intra-bandwidth. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! We will grow our ability to cultivate without depreciating our capability to embrace. Think intuitive. Without B2C2B, synergistic markets, you will lack development. We will orchestrate the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable". We will widen our aptitude to grow without reducing our capability to transform. We will step up our power to grow without devaluing our ability to matrix. What does it really mean to revolutionize "seamlessly"? Think nano-sexy. Microsoft practically invented the term "methodologies". Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. We constantly monetize dynamic relationships. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! If you maximize magnetically, you may have to synthesize virtually. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! We think that most front-end web portals use far too much XML, and not enough XSL. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a reconfigurable scheme for regulating new functionalities? Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be extensible? Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and C++. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!