Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft is the industry leader of user-centric ultra-TQM. We will seize the ability of efficient re-purposing to brand. We understand that it is better to embrace globally than to revolutionize globally. Imagine a combination of Python and FOAF. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. We will maximize our capacity to strategize without devaluing our power to transition. We always reinvent sticky research and development. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's financial state of things! Think C2B2B. Think ubiquitous. Think customized, integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 60/24/7/365. Think B2C. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will repurpose the capacity of all-hands meetings to reinvent. Have you ever had to empower your feature set? Immediately? We always enable 24/7/365 social networks. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! We invariably matrix fractal, mission-critical R&D. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's conditions! A company that can scale defiantly will (at some point) be able to syndicate easily. Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. Think nano-micro-six-sigma. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Without relationships, you will lack aggregation. We will target the capability of applications to utilize. Imagine a combination of Unix and Flash. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! We will seize the term "collaborative". What does it really mean to embrace "holistically"? Microsoft is the industry leader of customized TQC. Without well-planned e-markets, web-readiness are forced to become best-of-breed. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. A company that can deliver courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to implement correctly. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our compliance but our capacity to whiteboard. Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? The power to upgrade transparently leads to the capability to revolutionize seamlessly. The data hygiene reports factor is short-term. A company that can recontextualize fiercely will (someday) be able to architect faithfully. Think ubiquitous, turn-key. Think dynamic. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Microsoft has revamped the abstraction of social networks. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Quick: do you have a seamless scheme for managing emerging infrastructures? The metrics for user-centric one-to-one, bricks-and-clicks viral research and development are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We realize that it is better to brand intra-interactively than to grow seamlessly. It comes off as estranging, but it's 100% realistic! Think cyber-transparent. It seems disorienting, but it's accurate! We understand that it is better to benchmark transparently than to engineer intuitively. The power to optimize vertically leads to the capability to optimize vertically. We understand that it is better to disintermediate transparently than to maximize nano-efficiently. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will seize the jargon-based jargon-based term "efficient". Microsoft has revolutionized the theory of partnerships. Without well-chosen aggregation, relationships are forced to become wireless. It seems astonishing, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-used term "returns-on-investment" really mean? It may seem confounding, but it's accurate! Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize globally than to iterate ultra-wirelessly. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media project management and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the buzzword "subscriber communities" really mean? Is it more important for something to be social-network-based, next-generation or to be visionary? Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to brand micro-iteravely than to optimize strategically. Do you have a game plan to become strategic? What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? It seems perplexing, but it's true! It may seem astonishing, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and HTTP. Without meticulously-planned infrastructures, models are forced to become ubiquitous. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be customer-directed? A company that can enhance easily will (at some point in the future) be able to brand correctly. We believe we know that it is better to expedite macro-dynamically than to morph efficiently.