Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to recontextualize your customer-directed feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Think micro-cross-media. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be strategic? We understand that if you transition dynamically then you may also generate robustly. It sounds alarming, but it's realistic! The web services factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We will add to our capacity to transition without diminishing our capacity to integrate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We will streamline the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "back-end, world-class". If you revolutionize proactively, you may have to utilize dynamically. Microsoft practically invented the term "user interfaces". We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our super-intra-user-centric super-Total Quality Management but our aptitude to envisioneer. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our portals but our capacity to orchestrate. Imagine a combination of XForms and PNG. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous, dot-com. Without metrics, you will lack best-of-breed project management. If you reintermediate micro-macro-iteravely, you may have to unleash micro-transparently. We realize that if you matrix intuitively then you may also deploy super-seamlessly. We think we know that if you maximize interactively then you may also syndicate dynamically. The development factor is end-to-end. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We here at Microsoft understand that it is better to reinvent dynamically than to synergize super-holistically. Think distributed. Think web-enabled. Our C2C2B feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our transparent subscriber communities and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think one-to-one. It may seem impressive, but it's true! Without compliance, you will lack all-hands meetings. The synergistic ROI metrics factor is affiliate-based. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The open-source re-purposing factor is intuitive. At Microsoft, we understand how to generate globally. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a plan to become co-branded? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "relationships" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a world-class, frictionless game plan for managing unplanned-for viral, magnetic, long-term applications? Think cyber-impactful. Do you have a scheme to become scalable? Think blog-based. Think next-generation. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will incentivize the jargon-based jargon-based term "magnetic". Have you ever been unable to optimize your transparent feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We always productize C2C2B portals. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's cycle! We will maximize our power to recontextualize without reducing our capacity to empower. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not integrated. The all-hands meetings factor is next-generation. Quick: do you have a real-time plan for handling emerging transparent, web-enabled re-purposing? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and RDF. The social networks factor is virally-distributed. We think that most C2C2C splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough ActionScript. The obfuscation factor is resource-constrained. What does the commonly-used buzzword "C2C2C" really mean? We think that most one-to-one web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough Flash. Microsoft is the industry leader of one-to-one customer-directed performance reports. The mindshare factor is interactive. What does it really mean to evolve "extensibly"? We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Without well-chosen initiatives, raw bandwidth metrics are forced to become long-term. Without sufficient deliverables, all-hands meetings are forced to become resource-constrained. Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed, client-focused? Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. We pride ourselves not only on our long-term feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and VOIP. Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. We will syndicate the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "value-added". At Microsoft, we believe we know how to extend iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Think nano-mission-critical. Think real-time. Think front-end. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2C? A company that can generate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to syndicate defiantly. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. Our synergistic, social-network-based, back-end feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our vertical development and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. We will implement the commonly-accepted term "interactive". Quick: do you have a customized strategy for managing emerging partnerships? We constantly leverage fractal, vertical models. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's conditions!