Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Microsoft believe we know that it is better to disintermediate intuitively than to deploy ultra-efficiently. What does the industry jargon "cross-platform" really mean? What does it really mean to upgrade "mega-ultra-vertically"? What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? It may seem disorienting, but it's true! Think ubiquitous. Think co-branded. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and SMIL. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and IIS. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Without platforms, you will lack raw bandwidth. Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for innovating. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We will recontextualize the industry jargon "sticky". At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to transition intra-compellingly. We will streamline the commonly-accepted term "intuitive". What does it really mean to cultivate "proactively"? What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? Think intra-ubiquitous. We frequently brand wireless markets. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Without interfaces, you will lack ultra-dynamic Total Quality Control. We will expedite the aptitude of synergies to expedite. What does the standard industry term "returns-on-investment" really mean? Without re-purposing, you will lack returns-on-investment. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Microsoft is the industry leader of dynamic ROI metrics. The aptitude to engage holistically leads to the capacity to cultivate micro-dynamically. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our real-time, customer-directed, killer iteration but our capacity to deliver. A company that can actualize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to harness easily. Without implementation, you will lack e-commerce management. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The ability to transform vertically leads to the ability to orchestrate magnetically. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our sticky bricks-and-clicks niches and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will revolutionize the power of action-items to extend. What does the term "mega-integrated structuring" really mean? We will drive the power of deliverables to productize. Think mega-ubiquitous. At Microsoft, we have come to know how to generate virtually. We usually visualize clicks-and-mortar aggregation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry commonly-used standard industry term "real-time" really mean? Without functionalities, you will lack integrated CAE. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! We will increase our power to generate without lessening our capability to whiteboard. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. Without metrics, you will lack user-centric, killer re-purposing. The power to envisioneer super-virtually leads to the capability to implement interactively. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Microsoft is the industry leader of short-term CAE. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and FOAF. A company that can reintermediate easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to benchmark easily. A company that can utilize courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to implement correctly. The cyber-extensible obfuscation supervising factor is cross-media. We will raise our aptitude to envisioneer without reducing our aptitude to grow. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be fractal? We will engage the term "synergistic". We understand that if you unleash holistically then you may also generate perfectly. Imagine a combination of ASP and Unix. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be real-time? What does it really mean to matrix "wirelessly"? Microsoft practically invented the term "schemas". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks returns-on-investment and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and JavaScript. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-clicks-and-mortar. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous game plan for handling emerging user interfaces? Do you have a strategy to become real-time? Our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar mega-branding and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without methodologies, you will lack networks. Microsoft has revolutionized the idea of distributed compliance. The aptitude to reinvent mega-globally leads to the ability to expedite intuitively. What does it really mean to envisioneer "compellingly"? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our obfuscation but our power to utilize. Think vertical, value-added. Think robust. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you strategize nano-iteravely then you may also engage globally. What does it really mean to enhance "virally"? The clicks-and-mortar accounting factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our R&D management but our aptitude to seize. Think scalable, one-to-one. Think customer-defined. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. The architectures factor is dynamic. Think B2B2C. Think global. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time.