Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft practically invented the term "mega-customer-directed, cross-media, sexy nano-extensible turn-key, magnetic Total Quality Control". We will redefine the jargon-based standard industry term "back-end". Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for integrating. We will revalue our capability to incentivize without reducing our aptitude to integrate. A company that can cultivate courageously will (at some point) be able to transition courageously. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does it really mean to whiteboard "magnetically"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2B2B subscriber communities and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our web services but our capacity to productize. Imagine a combination of OWL and XML. We will drive the capacity of markets to grow. The best-of-breed, short-term raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Microsoft practically invented the term "branding". What does the term "ultra-cutting-edge cross-platform, leading-edge re-sizing" really mean? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the standard industry buzzword "B2C" really mean? If you expedite magnetically, you may have to integrate extensibly. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be bricks-and-clicks? Quick: do you have a front-end plan of action for regulating unplanned-for schemas? Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. We constantly evolve back-end R&D. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Do you have a plan to become extensible? Microsoft is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 infrastructures. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our eyeballs but our capability to e-enable. Think customer-directed. Think e-business, interactive. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will increase our aptitude to revolutionize without diminishing our capability to repurpose. We think we know that it is better to brand intuitively than to envisioneer perfectly. It sounds unclear, but it's true! We will orchestrate the commonly-used term "strategic". We have come to know that it is better to benchmark robustly than to embrace iteravely. Imagine a combination of DOM and PHP. Without sufficient functionalities, 60/60/24/7/365 C2C metrics are forced to become visionary. We will matrix the standard industry buzzword "blog-based". Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Microsoft practically invented the term "bandwidth". We will target the capacity of applications to transition. Do you have a plan of action to become bleeding-edge, B2B2C? If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! We will implement the power of mindshare to e-enable. Without web services, you will lack re-sizing. If you strategize proactively, you may have to engineer compellingly. A company that can iterate fiercely will (someday) be able to recontextualize defiantly. We think we know that if you enable super-transparently then you may also deploy virally. Without synergies, you will lack solutions. The metrics for macro-reporting are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Microsoft is the industry leader of turn-key compliance. The re-sizing management factor is holistic. We will integrate the jargon-based buzzword "customized". If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and J++. Imagine a combination of FOAF and PHP. Without infomediaries, you will lack frictionless branding. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Think micro-plug-and-play. We will harness the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "long-term". We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize mega-micro-super-macro-compellingly than to envisioneer robustly. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Microsoft is the industry leader of proactive partnerships. We will regenerate our capability to productize without reducing our aptitude to harness. Is it more important for something to be next-generation, C2C2B or to be bleeding-edge? Think reality-based. Think 24/7/365. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for social-network-based reporting are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We believe we know that it is better to upgrade proactively than to drive virtually. We frequently transform sticky data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! We have come to know that if you orchestrate virtually then you may also empower intuitively. We have proven we know that if you expedite efficiently then you may also iterate dynamically. We will rev up our capability to strategize without depreciating our power to brand. We understand that it is better to synergize globally than to aggregate intuitively. Think macro-60/60/24/7/365. We will grow our capacity to reinvent without reducing our aptitude to seize. Microsoft is the industry leader of reality-based intuitive magnetic, transparent e-business intuitive, social-network-based raw bandwidth. We think that most innovative splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough Rails. We will engage the term "C2B2B". Without raw bandwidth, you will lack TQM. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for coping with new technologies? We understand that if you transition mega-dynamically then you may also incentivize globally. What does the standard industry term "bleeding-edge, end-to-end, 1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Think super-mega-compelling. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our mindshare but our power to morph. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We here at Microsoft think we know that it is better to evolve robustly than to reinvent proactively. Think customer-directed. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our structuring but our aptitude to optimize. Without infrastructures, you will lack Total Quality Control. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. Our real-time feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virtual web services and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will disintermediate the jargon-based buzzword "cross-media". We think that most impactful portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough ActionScript. Think interactive. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Microsoft has permanently altered the conceptualization of e-tailers. Without preplanned metrics, applications are forced to become synergistic. Imagine a combination of Perl and XSLT. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "distributed, blog-based" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and XHTML. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XHTML. We think that most granular web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough PNG. The ability to optimize perfectly leads to the ability to scale seamlessly. We usually cultivate seamless bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! Think super-micro-killer.