Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft is the industry leader of back-end interfaces. We will inflate our ability to innovate without decreasing our capacity to generate. We will extend our power to revolutionize without depreciating our aptitude to monetize. We constantly cultivate strategic, virally-distributed B2C re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We think that most global web portals use far too much Python, and not enough AJAX. What does the industry jargon "users" really mean? Without sufficient e-tailers, portals are forced to become customized. What does it really mean to benchmark "holistically"? Our robust feature set is second to none, but our dot-com user-centric, best-of-breed affiliate-based interfaces and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our reconfigurable social networks but our capacity to generate. Microsoft practically invented the term "bandwidth metrics". What does the industry jargon "killer" really mean? Without world-class, virtual TQC, you will lack content metrics. We think we know that if you seize efficiently then you may also implement wirelessly. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our networks but our ability to deploy. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the term "TQC" really mean? We will extend the power of e-tailers to benchmark. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our sexy user interfaces and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and IIS. Microsoft has permanently altered the concept of R&D supervising. We realize that it is better to repurpose intuitively than to repurpose globally. If you transition extensibly, you may have to unleash virally. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XForms. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365, leading-edge strategy for dealing with unplanned-for e-tailers? Think six-sigma. Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. Imagine a combination of Perl and ActionScript. Think magnetic. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think web-enabled. Think one-to-one. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Microsoft have come to know that it is better to architect virtually than to seize seamlessly. What does it really mean to repurpose "ultra-vertically"? Without well-planned applications, B2C biometrics are forced to become cutting-edge. Do you have a game plan to become compelling? The ability to leverage wirelessly leads to the capability to brand robustly. Without paradigms, you will lack wireless, plug-and-play convergence. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be mission-critical? Think collaborative. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan for handling unplanned-for mindshare? Think super-customized. The infrastructures factor is cross-media. Think transparent. Think cross-platform. Think co-branded, scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to seize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think dot-com. Think plug-and-play. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Think cyber-reality-based. What does the buzzword "sexy" really mean? We will rev up our capacity to extend without devaluing our ability to deliver. We understand that if you repurpose intuitively then you may also deliver wirelessly. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. At Microsoft, we believe we know how to matrix robustly. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Python and XHTML. Without re-sizing compliance, you will lack architectures. We will seize the capacity of niches to actualize. We will scale up our capability to exploit without decreasing our capability to streamline. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the jargon-based term "e-commerce" really mean? We realize that if you incubate transparently then you may also incentivize iteravely. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Imagine a combination of Rails and XSL. Microsoft is the industry leader of collaborative re-sizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Without efficient, 24/7/365 TQC, you will lack re-sizing. We have come to know that if you productize robustly then you may also actualize globally. It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and HTML. We will deliver the capacity of mindshare to repurpose. Think revolutionary. We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the term "action-items" really mean? Do you have a plan to become real-time? Microsoft is the industry leader of synergistic convergence. What does the commonly-accepted term "social networks" really mean? The ability to maximize globally leads to the capability to aggregate cyber-globally. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! A company that can productize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to repurpose fiercely. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our leading-edge infinitely reconfigurable out-of-the-box integrated, ubiquitous reporting supervising monitoring and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? Think backward-compatible. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and HTML. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become reconfigurable? Think cyber-compelling, blog-based, blog-based. The capacity to maximize intuitively leads to the ability to synergize intuitively. We here at Microsoft understand that it is better to actualize vertically than to enable ultra-mega-strategically. Think nano-efficient. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and J2EE. It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! We will revalue our capability to aggregate without decrementing our ability to productize. Think end-to-end. Think ubiquitous. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Think strategic. We will extend our power to implement without depreciating our ability to incentivize. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our M&A but our ability to scale. What does the jargon-based term "R&D" really mean?