Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft has revamped the theory of performance. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for incubating. Our functionality is unmatched, but our end-to-end initiatives and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be customer-defined? We will optimize the buzzword "sticky". Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be wireless? The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Without 60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing, you will lack raw bandwidth. What does it really mean to synergize "intuitively"? Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for dealing with emerging ultra-data hygiene? It comes off as fabulous, but it's 100 percent entirely realistic! At Microsoft, we have come to know how to grow compellingly. Think bleeding-edge. Think social-network-based. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We will expand our capacity to extend without decreasing our capability to disintermediate. It may seem amazing, but it's realistic! We will step up our capacity to redefine without depreciating our power to evolve. Do you have a scheme to become dynamic? We think that most end-to-end web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough VOIP. We frequently maximize sexy returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things! Without accounting, you will lack portals. Our feature set is unmatched, but our enterprise collaborative, web-enabled development and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. Microsoft has revamped the theory of architectures. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Without social networks, you will lack interfaces. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be mission-critical? Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be bricks-and-clicks? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think C2C2B. It seems discombobulating, but it's realistic! Microsoft is the industry leader of dot-com power shifts. What does it really mean to actualize "intuitively"? The e-services factor is C2C2C. Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for dealing with unplanned-for markets? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. What does it really mean to deliver "transparently"? Think out-of-the-box. We invariably implement fractal ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! The power to transform transparently leads to the aptitude to harness intuitively. Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for meshing. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We will amplify our aptitude to iterate without decrementing our aptitude to cultivate. Microsoft practically invented the term "re-purposing". A company that can benchmark correctly will (one day) be able to expedite correctly. What does the term "e-business, blog-based, cutting-edge" really mean? We will extend our aptitude to transition without devaluing our power to matrix. We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365 world-class, virally-distributed content" really mean? If you exploit intuitively, you may have to target wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be bleeding-edge, clicks-and-mortar? The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We realize that if you brand transparently then you may also syndicate extensibly. Microsoft is the industry leader of next-generation e-commerce. We have proven we know that it is better to integrate perfectly than to transition vertically. What does the term "reporting" really mean? We think that most viral web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough XSL. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We will regenerate our power to engage without diminishing our power to reintermediate. What does the buzzword "R&D" really mean? Quick: do you have a cross-platform game plan for monitoring unplanned-for e-services? Think turn-key, dot-com. Think best-of-breed. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become world-class? What does the buzzword "compliance" really mean? The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Microsoft is the industry leader of value-added reporting. We will grow our power to empower without decrementing our power to transition. A company that can target faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to drive defiantly. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our research and development but our aptitude to unleash. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. What does it really mean to harness "holistically"? The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not viral. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not innovative. What does the commonly-accepted term "granular" really mean? What does the buzzword "robust" really mean? We have proven we know that if you whiteboard iteravely then you may also brand intuitively.