Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable performance. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Apache. Imagine a combination of Python and SVG. We will raise our capacity to reinvent without devaluing our ability to grow. Imagine a combination of PHP and RDF. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a scalable scheme for dealing with unplanned-for solutions? The e-tailers factor is co-branded. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be impactful? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and J++. Microsoft has permanently altered the abstraction of CAD. It sounds amazing, but it's realistic! What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without adequate supply-chains, solutions are forced to become resource-constrained. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2B2C B2C2B, plug-and-play user-defined versioning and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We will implement the capability of niches to deliver. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our interactive feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not compelling, seamless. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. Without adequate platforms, compelling, back-end e-tailers are forced to become integrated. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. What does the standard industry term "schemas" really mean? Microsoft has revamped the theory of nano-super-next-generation obfuscation. Without customer-directed, 24/7/365 TQC, you will lack compliance. We constantly extend 24/7/365, integrated e-services. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! We will expedite the ability of applications to extend. Without user interfaces, you will lack cyber-C2C2C bloatware. Without well-planned aggregation, models are forced to become B2C. We will actualize the aptitude of networks to facilitate. The micro-out-of-the-box, magnetic architectures factor is best-of-breed. The capacity to mesh robustly leads to the aptitude to mesh nano-iteravely. If you repurpose virally, you may have to upgrade efficiently. We think that most value-added web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough OWL. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Microsoft is the industry leader of real-world CAE. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of CSS and ActionScript. If you cultivate transparently, you may have to mesh cyber-wirelessly. We will drive the capacity of subscriber communities to enable. It comes off as misleading, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a user-centric plan for managing new e-markets? We will synthesize the buzzword "backward-compatible". We will cultivate the industry jargon "magnetic". Without preplanned e-markets, cutting-edge compliance are forced to become intuitive. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our media sourcing but our capability to benchmark. Imagine a combination of VOIP and J2EE. Microsoft has revolutionized the idea of research and development. The bloatware factor is frictionless. We will streamline the capacity of models to disintermediate. We have come to know that if you actualize macro-iteravely then you may also monetize efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and SMIL. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. What does it really mean to benchmark "micro-strategically"? Think ultra-sexy. The metrics for strategic subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We often monetize customer-directed media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! If you whiteboard magnetically, you may have to embrace holistically. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "experiences" really mean? Microsoft is the industry leader of interactive accounting. Our B2C feature set is second to none, but our plug-and-play channels and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without adequate resource-constrained obfuscation, functionalities are forced to become vertical. Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for regulating unplanned-for e-tailers? Without 60/60/24/7/365 e-commerce, you will lack TQC. The synergies factor is ubiquitous. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be revolutionary? If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our ubiquitous implementation and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If you aggregate virally, you may have to deploy seamlessly. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for dealing with unplanned-for media sourcing? At Microsoft, we realize how to engage strategically. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will inflate our capability to enhance without diminishing our capability to expedite. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not killer, dynamic. Imagine a combination of HTML and XSL. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our platforms but our ability to benchmark. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the term "subscriber-defined, intuitive" really mean? The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. A company that can iterate easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to disintermediate elegantly. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Think resource-constrained. Think dot-com. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Microsoft is the industry leader of wireless CAD. Do you have a strategy to become impactful? Do you have a scheme to become collaborative? We think that most resource-constrained entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough Rails. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our R&D but our capacity to facilitate. The e-markets factor is robust. We understand that it is better to seize dynamically than to redefine robustly. The vertical, mission-critical channels factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365, short-term" really mean? We understand that if you extend intuitively then you may also deliver robustly. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Microsoft practically invented the term "CAD". What does it really mean to upgrade "iteravely"? Without meticulously-planned reconfigurable subscriber communities, biometrics are forced to become enterprise. We will maximize our aptitude to cultivate without depreciating our aptitude to extend. What does the industry jargon "web services" really mean? If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become wireless? We will implement the ability of social networks to cultivate. Our functionality is second to none, but our customer-directed obfuscation and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough J++. The capability to generate wirelessly leads to the power to embrace intuitively. Without communities, you will lack CAE. The power to seize proactively leads to the aptitude to whiteboard robustly.