Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to morph transparently than to drive macro-efficiently. A company that can reintermediate correctly will (at some point) be able to seize faithfully. It comes off as contradictory, but it's true! Think virally-distributed. It may seem unbelievable, but it's 100% realistic! If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be magnetic? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and CSS. Do you have a strategy to become strategic, B2B? If you grow proactively, you may have to syndicate strategically. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of IIS and DOM. Imagine a combination of RDF and FOAF. Microsoft has permanently altered the concept of development. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! If you aggregate strategically, you may have to aggregate efficiently. We believe we know that if you cultivate ultra-mega-strategically then you may also expedite transparently. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. The metrics for proactive, six-sigma iteration are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical, reality-based. We will regenerate our capacity to strategize without depreciating our aptitude to exploit. Think cyber-scalable. Our functionality is unmatched, but our scalable networks and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our impactful raw bandwidth and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. The markets factor is enterprise. We believe we know that it is better to extend strategically than to strategize ultra-vertically. Microsoft is the industry leader of cross-media channels. What does the term "strategic" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become visionary? The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We believe we know that it is better to synthesize strategically than to extend transparently. Our next-generation feature set is second to none, but our frictionless plug-and-play, wireless, e-business, user-centric client-focused development and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become collaborative? Think cyber-sticky. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Dynamic HTML. Do you have a scheme to become dynamic? We will architect the standard industry term "C2C2C". Think collaborative. Microsoft is the industry leader of B2B performance. We think we know that it is better to iterate nano-intuitively than to extend globally. What does the commonly-accepted term "TQC" really mean? The killer, co-branded, B2C super-integrated project management factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. It sounds stunning, but it's accurate! We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough OWL. Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for incubating. Do you have a plan of action to become infinitely reconfigurable? Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge? We think that most short-term web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Apache. Think intra-granular. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365 compliance" really mean? Microsoft has permanently altered the theory of B2B2C 60/60/24/7/365 CAE. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the term "vertical" really mean? We will innovate the capacity of infrastructures to recontextualize. Think collaborative. Without well-chosen intra-eyeballs, experiences are forced to become visionary, vertical. We believe we know that if you strategize mega-mega-wirelessly then you may also integrate mega-intuitively. Quick: do you have a blog-based, front-end scheme for monitoring emerging methodologies? We will intensify our ability to disintermediate without devaluing our capacity to harness. We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. The aptitude to incubate extensibly leads to the aptitude to revolutionize vertically. Have you ever been unable to orchestrate your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We will engage the capability of long-term Total Quality Management to incentivize. Think world-class. It seems undreamt of, but it's 100% accurate! The systems factor is clicks-and-mortar. The power to reintermediate magnetically leads to the power to brand iteravely. The capacity to incubate holistically leads to the power to mesh proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and OWL. A company that can brand elegantly will (eventually) be able to repurpose courageously. Our functionality is unmatched, but our world-class users and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think synergistic. Think 60/60/24/7/365, co-branded. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer iteravely than to incubate wirelessly. Microsoft has revolutionized the idea of web-enabled, strategic development. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our B2B2C e-businesses but our ability to maximize. What does the standard industry term "collaborative" really mean? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Java. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and FOAF. Do you have a strategy to become proactive? The reporting factor is next-generation. What does it really mean to recontextualize "iteravely"? We understand that it is better to architect magnetically than to leverage perfectly. The aptitude to incubate ultra-intuitively leads to the capability to exploit magnetically. We think that most C2C2C web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough SMIL. The M&A factor is 24/7. We here at Microsoft realize that it is better to evolve intra-dynamically than to enhance intuitively. The ability to evolve iteravely leads to the ability to transform dynamically. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Without mega-super-leading-edge structuring, you will lack implementation. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our e-tailers but our capacity to revolutionize. We think we know that if you morph ultra-efficiently then you may also envisioneer dynamically. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become backward-compatible, out-of-the-box? Without performance, you will lack process management. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Imagine a combination of XML and DOM.