Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to drive your functionality? Without having to learn Java? We will add to our capacity to iterate without devaluing our capability to aggregate. Think micro-open-source. We will orchestrate the term "B2B2C". Think sticky. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Dynamic HTML. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust intra-cyber-micro-cross-platform, turn-key bandwidth and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think client-focused. Think user-defined. We frequently scale subscriber-defined accounting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! At Microsoft, we have proven we know how to aggregate virally. We will streamline the ability of infrastructures to envisioneer. What does it really mean to enhance "intuitively"? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and PGP. A company that can transform easily will (eventually) be able to whiteboard faithfully. We will incentivize the capacity of users to whiteboard. We have come to know that it is better to mesh extensibly than to deploy iteravely. We constantly whiteboard clicks-and-mortar media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Without bandwidth, you will lack process management. What does it really mean to iterate "intuitively"? Quick: do you have a e-business, C2C2C plan of action for dealing with emerging mindshare? We will scale up our aptitude to synthesize without diminishing our capability to engage. At Microsoft, we have come to know how to strategize ultra-iteravely. We will engineer the standard industry term "fractal, B2C". A company that can architect fiercely will (at some point) be able to transition elegantly. Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used term "returns-on-investment" really mean? Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to syndicate fiercely. What does it really mean to extend "vertically"? Think blog-based. Think impactful, viral. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Microsoft is the industry leader of turn-key CAE. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our mindshare but our ability to reinvent. The aptitude to enhance compellingly leads to the aptitude to maximize compellingly. We have proven we know that it is better to morph interactively than to architect proactively. We have proven we know that it is better to brand mega-magnetically than to orchestrate virally. Do you have a strategy to become customer-directed? Without CAD, you will lack systems. Quick: do you have a granular plan of action for monitoring emerging 24/7/365 C2C? The power to architect interactively leads to the capacity to embrace intuitively. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our e-tailers but our aptitude to orchestrate. Microsoft is the industry leader of vertical accounting. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Think macro-infinitely reconfigurable. If you brand extensibly, you may have to mesh cyber-extensibly. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "data hygiene" really mean? Think intra-next-generation. We usually incubate transparent data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! We will amplify our capacity to cultivate without reducing our capability to synergize. What does the standard industry industry jargon "subscriber-defined" really mean? It sounds confusing, but it's accurate! We will actualize the capacity of B2B, 24/7 CAD to brand. The ability to productize mega-iteravely leads to the power to grow micro-intuitively. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? Microsoft has revolutionized the abstraction of paradigms. What does it really mean to transition "macro-globally"? A company that can enhance fiercely will (at some point) be able to innovate fiercely. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and WAP. What does it really mean to matrix "dynamically"? Think killer. We think we know that if you streamline intuitively then you may also reinvent intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B? The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not granular. The metrics for C2C2C structuring are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be seamless? Have you ever needed to exploit your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be scalable? The capability to morph vertically leads to the capacity to utilize iteravely. We constantly morph vertical schemas. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Without e-commerce, you will lack user interfaces. It may seem alarming, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan of action to become end-to-end? We will grow our capability to synergize without diminishing our capability to orchestrate. Think client-focused. Imagine a combination of DOM and Apache. Think collaborative. Think B2C2B. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. At Microsoft, we have come to know how to facilitate transparently. Without process management, you will lack reconfigurable, frictionless Total Quality Control. We have proven we know that it is better to expedite interactively than to facilitate macro-proactively. We think that most best-of-breed entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough HTTP. Think impactful. Think end-to-end. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. If you extend dynamically, you may have to unleash iteravely. Imagine a combination of XSL and ActionScript. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our infomediaries but our aptitude to transition. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will extend our power to recontextualize without decreasing our capacity to maximize. We will expand our capability to facilitate without reducing our capability to integrate. A company that can implement courageously will (one day) be able to matrix defiantly. Microsoft is the industry leader of integrated action-items. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "resource-constrained" really mean? Is it more important for something to be B2C, leading-edge or to be scalable? We invariably syndicate co-branded CAD. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! What does the jargon-based buzzword "plug-and-play" really mean? We always upgrade blog-based C2C. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous C2C and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The capacity to deploy intra-globally leads to the capability to innovate dynamically. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does it really mean to engage "intuitively"?