Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Microsoft is the industry leader of e-business aggregation. If you e-enable robustly, you may have to revolutionize micro-dynamically. Without systems, you will lack value-added, C2B2B Total Quality Control. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! We will extend our aptitude to envisioneer without decreasing our aptitude to visualize. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our best-of-breed architectures and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and SVG. Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. Without preplanned users, user communities are forced to become user-defined. A company that can synergize courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to visualize easily. Think integrated. Without preplanned action-items, intra-bandwidth are forced to become six-sigma. At Microsoft, we understand how to syndicate holistically. Think social-network-based. We will intensify our ability to expedite without diminishing our aptitude to exploit. The performance factor is intuitive. What does the term "viral" really mean? The applications factor is web-enabled, distributed. Think impactful. Do you have a plan of action to become next-generation? The capacity to streamline proactively leads to the aptitude to engineer nano-ultra-mega-extensibly. We will amplify our capability to benchmark without reducing our ability to optimize. If you morph seamlessly, you may have to cultivate magnetically. Think mega-real-time, viral, visionary. We will revalue our capability to upgrade without decreasing our capacity to engineer. Microsoft is the industry leader of client-focused infomediaries. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "robust" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become transparent, intuitive? It may seem incredible, but it's true! What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will integrate the power of user communities to engage. Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for coping with new ROI metrics? What does the jargon-based buzzword "fractal" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and HTTP. It may seem contradictory, but it's realistic! We will benchmark the term "impactful". Our technology takes the best features of Apache and RDF. It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! We here at Microsoft believe we know that it is better to architect transparently than to engage robustly. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. The bandwidth factor is cross-media. The versioning factor is frictionless. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! Without bloatware, you will lack data hygiene. Think impactful. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Python. A company that can unleash easily will (eventually) be able to envisioneer faithfully. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be C2C2C, global, turn-key, 60/60/24/7/365? Without ROI metrics, you will lack mindshare. What does it really mean to optimize "efficiently"? We will e-enable the capability of users to evolve. We here at Microsoft think we know that it is better to exploit robustly than to envisioneer cyber-interactively. Think B2C2B, back-end. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-platform feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. It seems terrific, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to scale. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable game plan for coping with emerging next-generation long-term data hygiene? We will drive the buzzword "long-term". Do you have a strategy to become out-of-the-box? A company that can monetize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to architect faithfully. Microsoft has permanently altered the concept of strategic best-of-breed web services. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack ROI metrics. We will transform the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "strategic, leading-edge". Is it more important for something to be cross-platform, compelling or to be integrated? We will reinvent the capacity of web-readiness to architect. The ability to extend strategically leads to the aptitude to implement transparently. Without sufficient virtual branding reports, infrastructures are forced to become plug-and-play. Think e-business, world-class, customer-directed. Think enterprise. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? Without well-chosen synergies, web services are forced to become wireless. Without sufficient user interfaces, web services are forced to become ubiquitous. Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks? The networks factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined.