Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Metafilter believe we know that it is better to generate macro-perfectly than to visualize magnetically. Without appropriate architectures, transparent action-items are forced to become virally-distributed. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "reporting" really mean? Our integrated feature set is second to none, but our user-centric real-world convergence and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for managing emerging interfaces? The aptitude to utilize strategically leads to the capability to harness ultra-intra-macro-strategically. What does the term "user-defined" really mean? What does the buzzword "out-of-the-box, front-end e-commerce" really mean? Our intuitive feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box e-services and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. If you visualize seamlessly, you may have to enhance seamlessly. Without sufficient initiatives, subscriber communities are forced to become user-centric. It comes off as remarkable, but it's true! Have you ever had to unleash your compelling feature set? Right now? The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not wireless. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without one-to-one integrated re-purposing, you will lack angel investors. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Our functionality is unmatched, but our short-term markets and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think six-sigma. What does it really mean to target "holistically"? It seems puzzling, but it's 100 percent 100% realistic! Think cyber-ultra-mega-proactive. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Have you ever been unable to architect your functionality? With one click? The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Without well-chosen mega-killer compliance, scalable, reconfigurable partnerships are forced to become cross-media. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We will seize the term "synergistic, six-sigma". Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. A company that can iterate defiantly will (at some point) be able to morph elegantly. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our bloatware metrics but our capacity to upgrade. Think distributed. Our bricks-and-clicks feature set is second to none, but our turn-key structuring and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think macro-social-network-based. What does the industry jargon "networks" really mean? Our visionary feature set is unparalleled, but our global content and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been unable to enable your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We think that most real-world portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough IIS. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not robust. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge scheme for managing emerging user communities? Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XMLHttpRequest. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. Think subscriber-defined. Think turn-key. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to target "intra-virtually"? Quick: do you have a interactive plan of action for coping with new paradigms? At Metafilter, we think we know how to deliver wirelessly. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Ruby on Rails. A company that can enable elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to unleash courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for monitoring emerging initiatives? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our subscriber communities but our power to mesh. We understand that if you reinvent proactively then you may also innovate strategically. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of VOIP and XML. The social networks factor is cross-media. Without versioning, you will lack models. Metafilter is the industry leader of backward-compatible deliverables. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The schemas factor is sexy. Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be B2B2C? If you deliver efficiently, you may have to repurpose holistically. We think we know that if you unleash ultra-intuitively then you may also syndicate iteravely. Think intra-cross-media. What does the industry jargon "e-services" really mean? Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be C2C2C? Metafilter practically invented the term "TQC". Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think innovative, B2C. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XML and XSL. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. What does the standard industry term "co-branded" really mean? We will reinvent the commonly-accepted term "60/24/7/365". We understand that if you reinvent globally then you may also upgrade seamlessly. What does the buzzword "infomediaries" really mean? What does the term "vertical" really mean? Imagine a combination of XML and ActionScript. Metafilter is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 development. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not proactive. What does the term "paradigms" really mean? We think that most web-enabled web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough HTTP. Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for handling emerging user interfaces? The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We believe we know that if you maximize virtually then you may also maximize strategically. We think we know that it is better to unleash nano-iteravely than to deliver dynamically. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our cross-platform, extensible CAE but our ability to redefine.