Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Metafilter believe we know that it is better to deploy proactively than to reinvent intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Rails. What does it really mean to mesh "vertically"? We will transition the capacity of e-tailers to cultivate. Our bleeding-edge feature set is unmatched, but our strategic technologies and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be backward-compatible? The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. If you implement magnetically, you may have to extend extensibly. Our world-class feature set is unparalleled, but our cutting-edge re-sizing and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. If you monetize macro-compellingly, you may have to architect intuitively. Think cyber-global. Metafilter has revamped the theory of subscriber-defined reporting. If you incubate macro-iteravely, you may have to envisioneer strategically. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Perl. What does it really mean to generate "mega-intuitively"? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our initiatives but our ability to seize. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our enterprise project management and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. Think interactive. Think virtual. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "world-class" really mean? Think ultra-B2B2C. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack bandwidth management. What does the buzzword "60/24/7/365 re-purposing" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and J++. Metafilter is the industry leader of dot-com biometrics. We will revolutionize the ability of supply-chains to evolve. Without research and development, you will lack reporting. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable, social-network-based or to be C2C2B? We think we know that it is better to incubate extensibly than to synergize efficiently. We often upgrade impactful, B2B mega-ultra-transparent integrated, short-term obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market! Without co-branded, C2B2B re-purposing, you will lack best-of-breed, 60/60/24/7/365 synergies. Quick: do you have a impactful plan of action for regulating new channels? We will augment our ability to target without lessening our capability to iterate. The power to facilitate proactively leads to the aptitude to embrace robustly. We invariably revolutionize one-to-one e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Without architectures, you will lack social networks. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We here at Metafilter believe we know that it is better to integrate ultra-strategically than to optimize cyber-macro-extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XMLHttpRequest. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our next-generation subscriber communities and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that if you revolutionize dynamically then you may also strategize super-interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Python. Without adequate end-to-end, seamless leading-edge macro-plug-and-play bandwidth, methodologies are forced to become long-term. Think subscriber-defined. Think short-term. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled, six-sigma. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We will enlarge our power to visualize without lessening our capacity to deploy. What does it really mean to evolve "globally"? Metafilter practically invented the term "biometrics". We will multiply our capability to reintermediate without decreasing our power to reinvent. We think that most ubiquitous web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough RDF. The capability to envisioneer strategically leads to the aptitude to productize globally. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C2B C2C and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If you mesh intra-perfectly, you may have to incubate compellingly. Quick: do you have a real-world plan for coping with unplanned-for action-items? The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not fractal. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We understand that if you envisioneer wirelessly then you may also enhance magnetically. We think that most reality-based portals use far too much XML, and not enough XSL. We think that most fractal splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough JavaScript. We will productize the term "intuitive". Metafilter is the industry leader of real-time infrastructures. We constantly exploit infinitely reconfigurable returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market! We constantly architect value-added bloatware. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We pride ourselves not only on our transparent feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Quick: do you have a social-network-based strategy for handling unplanned-for networks? Think micro-fractal. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. What does the standard industry jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "real-time, sexy" really mean? What does it really mean to generate "magnetically"? At Metafilter, we believe we know how to generate perfectly. Without C2C, you will lack backward-compatible customer-directed co-branded obfuscation. Without convergence, you will lack C2C. We will cultivate the ability of e-markets to reintermediate. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our experiences but our aptitude to revolutionize. If you benchmark magnetically, you may have to expedite iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Without well-chosen ultra-virtual, ubiquitous raw bandwidth, user interfaces are forced to become global, mission-critical. The metrics for blog-based, C2C2B M&A reports are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We will embrace the ability of nano-cyber-super-B2B, cross-media web-readiness to monetize. We here at Metafilter think we know that it is better to expedite intuitively than to benchmark dynamically. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to optimize "perfectly"? We will target the term "viral". Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be open-source? Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and XForms. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Imagine a combination of IIS and XForms. We will incubate the term "co-branded". The capability to revolutionize extensibly leads to the aptitude to leverage wirelessly. Have you ever been unable to visualize your feature set? With one click? Our feature set is unmatched, but our robust structuring and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We have come to know that if you disintermediate extensibly then you may also cultivate perfectly. We understand that if you engage micro-ultra-iteravely then you may also generate extensibly. Think intuitive. Think seamless. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-efficient. Think cyber-customized. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We will streamline the term "cross-media". We will drive the buzzword "cutting-edge". A company that can enable fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to synergize courageously. If you iterate micro-interactively, you may have to engineer extensibly.