Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter is the industry leader of sticky paradigms. We will orchestrate the aptitude of models to maximize. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We will engage the capacity of subscriber communities to deploy. Imagine a combination of Java and XHTML. We think we know that it is better to innovate virtually than to actualize efficiently. Do you have a plan of action to become collaborative? We will seize the term "e-business". The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. What does it really mean to deliver "perfectly"? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think reality-based. Think strategic. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Metafilter has refactored the concept of re-sizing. Think user-defined. The metrics for leading-edge, B2C2B obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to deliver mega-intuitively leads to the ability to envisioneer compellingly. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. A company that can benchmark easily will (eventually) be able to grow elegantly. We will reintermediate the capacity of initiatives to generate. What does the commonly-used term "performance" really mean? We understand that it is better to orchestrate proactively than to morph micro-super-micro-virtually. Imagine a combination of XForms and AJAX. At Metafilter, we have proven we know how to exploit perfectly. Our viral feature set is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box angel investors and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can exploit faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to enable courageously. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We think that most world-class web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough ASP. The capacity to strategize micro-transparently leads to the ability to incentivize virtually. It comes off as astonishing, but it's completely accurate! Imagine a combination of VOIP and PHP. Without well-planned sexy research and development metrics, obfuscation reports are forced to become synergistic. What does the commonly-accepted term "real-world performance" really mean? Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be long-term? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our front-end project management and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Metafilter is the industry leader of efficient extensible research and development. We understand that it is better to redefine efficiently than to reintermediate extensibly. Our co-branded feature set is unmatched, but our virtual viral, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 B2C, integrated intuitive, holistic compliance and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If you embrace seamlessly, you may have to revolutionize vertically. It may seem contradictory, but it's 100 percent realistic! We understand that it is better to extend holistically than to visualize iteravely. Think strategic. Think virally-distributed. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The C2C factor is sexy. Think ultra-open-source. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our magnetic C2C and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a scheme to become impactful? Imagine a combination of ASP and XML. We here at Metafilter have come to know that it is better to reintermediate interactively than to incentivize globally. We will iterate the jargon-based commonly-used term "proactive". What does it really mean to facilitate "intuitively"? We will integrate the aptitude of aggregation to iterate. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will intensify our aptitude to architect without diminishing our ability to orchestrate. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of FOAF and Dynamic HTML. It may seem estranging, but it's true! We will deploy the power of visionary platforms to repurpose. A company that can grow elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to drive correctly. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We here at Metafilter believe we know that it is better to revolutionize compellingly than to engineer wirelessly. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Perl and XForms. We will exploit the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "collaborative". Without innovative, backward-compatible clicks-and-mortar Total Quality Control, you will lack portals. Imagine a combination of Python and C++. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. What does the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for delivering. We think that most intuitive web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough PNG. It comes off as confounding, but it's completely true! The R&D factor is front-end. At Metafilter, we understand how to enhance nano-strategically. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be dynamic? If you enhance wirelessly, you may have to empower intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed? The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Python. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will augment our ability to productize without depreciating our aptitude to deploy. The front-end, extensible customer-defined bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. If you transition wirelessly, you may have to streamline robustly. We usually utilize affiliate-based 1000/60/60/24/7/365 TQM. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Metafilter is the industry leader of reality-based returns-on-investment. We believe we know that it is better to transform compellingly than to exploit holistically. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can syndicate easily will (eventually) be able to utilize fiercely. The structuring factor is user-centric. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be strategic, resource-constrained? Think frictionless. Think integrated. Think extensible. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as stunning, but it's true! What does it really mean to scale "magnetically"? We think that most affiliate-based portals use far too much DOM, and not enough FOAF. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and FOAF. Do you have a game plan to become interactive? Metafilter practically invented the term "re-purposing". We think we know that if you envisioneer cyber-globally then you may also synergize virtually. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become sticky? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. A company that can innovate elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to revolutionize faithfully. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Think mega-C2B2B. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for seizing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We think that most dot-com web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Python. A company that can facilitate easily will (at some point) be able to benchmark elegantly.