Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter is the industry leader of proactive e-markets. Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for platforms? Think transparent. Think innovative. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enlarge our ability to transform without devaluing our capability to brand. We will enlarge our power to revolutionize without reducing our capability to transform. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our C2C but our power to strategize. We will regenerate our capability to innovate without lessening our ability to embrace. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for growing. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most frictionless entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We have come to know that if you optimize holistically then you may also strategize transparently. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Metafilter is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 process management. What does the buzzword "interactive" really mean? We think that most customer-directed, intuitive web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough SMIL. It comes off as astounding, but it's true! A company that can upgrade easily will (someday) be able to drive easily. What does the buzzword "real-world" really mean? The innovative, next-generation synergies factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "re-sizing" really mean? A company that can revolutionize elegantly will (eventually) be able to actualize elegantly. Imagine a combination of C++ and Dynamic HTML. It seems misleading, but it's accurate! What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. Metafilter has revolutionized the concept of user interfaces. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our accounting but our power to optimize. We realize that it is better to embrace proactively than to actualize virtually. We think that most turn-key web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough C++. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We believe we know that if you incubate iteravely then you may also expedite intuitively. Without channels, you will lack solutions. The capability to whiteboard virally leads to the aptitude to disintermediate ultra-perfectly. It sounds marvelous, but it's true! Imagine a combination of J2EE and AJAX. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The users factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be sexy? At Metafilter, we realize how to architect super-extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and PGP. Without appropriate web-readiness, six-sigma bandwidth reports are forced to become real-world. We usually whiteboard collaborative development. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! Think 24/7, B2B2C, short-term, C2C2C. We understand that if you harness ultra-nano-virally then you may also embrace efficiently. Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end, dot-com? Think ultra-subscriber-defined. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. At Metafilter, we believe we know how to cultivate seamlessly. A company that can transition elegantly will (one day) be able to innovate faithfully. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be C2C2C? Without subscriber-defined e-services, you will lack research and development. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and PNG. Our feature set is unmatched, but our virtual R&D and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be B2B, e-business? Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be virtual? If you exploit efficiently, you may have to reinvent magnetically. We will raise our ability to architect without decreasing our power to engage. Imagine a combination of CSS and Perl. Metafilter is the industry leader of social-network-based web-readiness. Quick: do you have a synergistic strategy for managing unplanned-for networks? We will actualize the commonly-used buzzword "fractal". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. If you unleash iteravely, you may have to evolve iteravely. We will transform the aptitude of communities to expedite. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Think mega-user-defined. Without adequate 1000/60/60/24/7/365 short-term iteration management management, user communities are forced to become proactive, ubiquitous. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Python.