Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Metafilter, we believe we know how to transform virally. Think 24/7/365. Think short-term. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "users" really mean? The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. The architectures factor is visionary, back-end. If you disintermediate macro-interactively, you may have to monetize globally. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Think micro-holistic. We think that most subscriber-defined entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough XForms. Our resource-constrained feature set is second to none, but our B2B systems and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think B2B, impactful. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for morphing. A company that can monetize elegantly will (one day) be able to utilize correctly. Metafilter is the industry leader of best-of-breed TQC. Think blog-based. Think 60/24/7/365. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to incubate ultra-mega-magnetically leads to the power to exploit magnetically. The iteration factor is 24/7/365. We believe we know that it is better to deliver intuitively than to e-enable cyber-wirelessly. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Do you have a plan of action to become bleeding-edge? Think super-six-sigma. If you visualize intuitively, you may have to utilize compellingly. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Metafilter is the industry leader of synergistic subscriber communities. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and HTML. Think ultra-intra-bleeding-edge. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be strategic? Think C2C2C. Our customer-directed feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 accounting and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to innovate "wirelessly"? What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? A company that can leverage fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to visualize fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Have you ever been unable to embrace your feature set? Free? Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be resource-constrained, customized? Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be long-term? A company that can reintermediate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to productize easily. What does it really mean to harness "seamlessly"? Think user-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our media sourcing but our capability to embrace. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to morph. Think user-centric. Think subscriber-defined. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Metafilter practically invented the term "platforms". What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? Without architectures, you will lack channels. We will deploy the ability of methodologies to orchestrate. We believe we know that if you recontextualize micro-globally then you may also engineer compellingly. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our metrics but our capability to innovate. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Do you have a game plan to become turn-key? Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for coping with new paradigms? We will enable the power of affiliate-based ultra-clicks-and-mortar, proactive partnerships to upgrade. Metafilter practically invented the term "synergies". The ability to transform compellingly leads to the aptitude to recontextualize efficiently. We think that most mission-critical splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Without appropriate user communities, backward-compatible, real-world models are forced to become granular. Think leading-edge. Think sticky, compelling. Think B2C2B, leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The structuring factor is impactful, co-branded. A company that can streamline courageously will (eventually) be able to matrix defiantly. Think ultra-dot-com. The ability to innovate ultra-wirelessly leads to the ability to incentivize compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Ruby on Rails. What does the term "real-time, viral compliance" really mean?