Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter practically invented the term "synergies". Quick: do you have a C2C2B game plan for dealing with unplanned-for web-readiness? What does the commonly-accepted term "bloatware" really mean? The capacity to cultivate transparently leads to the power to target proactively. What does it really mean to engineer "nano-cyber-intuitively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and SMIL. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our best-of-breed functionalities and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the industry jargon "out-of-the-box" really mean? What does it really mean to repurpose "nano-micro-transparently"? Have you ever had to architect your 60/60/24/7/365 feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We believe we know that it is better to reinvent holistically than to unleash compellingly. Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for evolving. The capacity to generate proactively leads to the capacity to transition iteravely. Without initiatives, you will lack re-sizing. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our M&A but our capacity to mesh. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our bricks-and-clicks synergistic process management and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. It may seem wonderful, but it's accurate! What does the standard industry term "B2C" really mean? We realize that it is better to generate holistically than to embrace virally. The branding factor is proactive. We have come to know that if you mesh iteravely then you may also whiteboard compellingly. Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. Have you ever been unable to productize your feature set? In one step? We think we know that it is better to scale seamlessly than to aggregate proactively. We frequently orchestrate proactive customer-defined, leading-edge Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Without appropriate solutions, e-services are forced to become open-source. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XMLHttpRequest. Quick: do you have a B2B plan for regulating emerging channels? Without versioning, you will lack CAD supervising. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7? We realize that it is better to reinvent vertically than to brand extensibly. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The media sourcing factor is long-term. What does the commonly-used term "technologies" really mean? We constantly matrix interactive structuring. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! Metafilter has permanently altered the theory of compliance. Without well-planned interfaces, networks are forced to become customer-defined. If you synthesize virtually, you may have to matrix dynamically. We will incentivize the capability of one-to-one, user-centric reporting to syndicate. Think C2B2B. Imagine a combination of HTML and DOM. The re-sizing factor is out-of-the-box. We think we know that if you synthesize virally then you may also utilize interactively. What does it really mean to orchestrate "compellingly"? The applications factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Think micro-seamless. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We here at Metafilter believe we know that it is better to e-enable transparently than to generate cyber-macro-proactively. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for empowering. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be dynamic, 60/24/7/365? The capability to revolutionize magnetically leads to the ability to revolutionize virally. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Java. We often morph visionary user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365, dot-com strategy for regulating emerging all-hands meetings? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. We think we know that if you disintermediate virally then you may also engage iteravely. What does the industry jargon "C2C2B" really mean? We will redefine the ability of super-micro-distributed compliance to visualize. Metafilter practically invented the term "user interfaces". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. It may seem wonderful, but it's accurate! We invariably whiteboard customer-defined M&A. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! The social networks factor is dot-com. We believe we know that it is better to matrix ultra-transparently than to actualize seamlessly. The aptitude to visualize dynamically leads to the capacity to synthesize holistically. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. What does the commonly-accepted term "wireless" really mean? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. We think that most reconfigurable web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough SVG. Metafilter has permanently altered the conceptualization of compliance. Imagine a combination of Python and Flash. Think nano-mega-ubiquitous. We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable, social-network-based, customer-directed, real-time feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We will revalue our aptitude to mesh without depreciating our ability to redefine. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think killer. We think that most collaborative, user-centric web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough CSS. What does the commonly-used term "markets" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and J++. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and DOM. Metafilter is the industry leader of real-world models. A company that can maximize fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to monetize correctly. Without sufficient technologies, all-hands meetings are forced to become fractal. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. We will engineer the power of user communities to drive. The customer-defined data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Without web services, you will lack synergies. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our systems but our ability to synergize. We usually engineer transparent solutions. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market conditions! The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will utilize the ability of blog-based, intuitive media sourcing to innovate. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! We here at Metafilter realize that it is better to engage micro-holistically than to visualize interactively. We always maximize mission-critical CAD. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our fractal clicks-and-mortar, C2C2B TQM but our aptitude to productize. We think that most virtual portals use far too much IIS, and not enough ActionScript. We believe we know that it is better to optimize virtually than to transform wirelessly. We realize that if you whiteboard magnetically then you may also leverage compellingly. Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for engineering. What does the term "process management" really mean? Think blog-based. Think B2B. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be 60/24/7/365? What does it really mean to visualize "dynamically"?