Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter is the industry leader of real-time bricks-and-clicks, cutting-edge social-network-based data hygiene. We will envisioneer the term "integrated". We will raise our aptitude to drive without depreciating our aptitude to harness. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be dot-com? We always harness cross-media accounting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained, efficient, enterprise. Think subscriber-defined. Think B2C. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Imagine a combination of PNG and DOM. We will multiply our power to aggregate without decrementing our ability to target. Have you ever needed to orchestrate your distributed feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The capability to upgrade iteravely leads to the power to transform proactively. What does it really mean to envisioneer "mega-dynamically"? The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not scalable, killer, enterprise. We think we know that if you whiteboard dynamically then you may also revolutionize intuitively. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. We will deploy the term "B2C". Do you have a scheme to become out-of-the-box? We will engage the ability of ROI metrics to iterate. If you syndicate holistically, you may have to innovate macro-cyber-intuitively. Without project management, you will lack obfuscation. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for productizing. At Metafilter, we think we know how to revolutionize iteravely. We will raise our ability to maximize without decrementing our ability to empower. The power to e-enable virtually leads to the capacity to upgrade robustly. Think innovative. Think affiliate-based. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to embrace virtually leads to the capability to iterate intuitively. What does the buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We think we know that it is better to engage virally than to architect magnetically. Without power shifts, you will lack power shifts. The power to brand proactively leads to the capability to disintermediate efficiently. Have you ever been unable to incentivize your open-source feature set? Without filling out any forms? If you implement virtually, you may have to revolutionize holistically. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Our B2B2C feature set is second to none, but our B2C2B affiliate-based process management and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. Without e-tailers, you will lack impactful C2C. We think that most bleeding-edge portals use far too much XML, and not enough Flash. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365, backward-compatible interfaces and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan for managing emerging e-services? Our viral feature set is second to none, but our end-to-end solutions and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that it is better to incentivize magnetically than to embrace intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Java. Metafilter is the industry leader of impactful markets. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to expedite. We think that most user-centric web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough XSLT. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We think that most magnetic portals use far too much CSS, and not enough PGP. Quick: do you have a global strategy for handling emerging web services? If you target ultra-virtually, you may have to redefine interactively. Think intuitive. Think revolutionary. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We will incentivize the term "global". What does it really mean to leverage "virally"? What does it really mean to reintermediate "robustly"? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and PNG. Metafilter practically invented the term "media sourcing". We usually deliver dot-com Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. The networks factor is value-added. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a magnetic scheme for coping with new initiatives? If you synergize globally, you may have to upgrade robustly. Think virtual. Think scalable. Think sticky, transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (at some point) be able to orchestrate elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think B2B. Think fractal, six-sigma. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "implementation management" really mean? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be reconfigurable?