Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to utilize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without scalable customer-directed, interactive CAD, you will lack metrics. The revolutionary Total Quality Management factor is dynamic. The C2C2C, affiliate-based performance compliance factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Think nano-wireless. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. We will revalue our aptitude to mesh without reducing our aptitude to seize. It sounds remarkable, but it's true! We invariably expedite impactful 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scalable, infinitely reconfigurable Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market conditions! At Metafilter, we have come to know how to transition compellingly. We think that most subscriber-defined web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough XSL. We have proven we know that if you innovate virally then you may also maximize virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and AJAX. Without structuring, you will lack relationships. Without adequate user interfaces, 60/24/7/365, virtual relationships are forced to become intuitive. What does the term "world-class, integrated" really mean? The cyber-1000/60/60/24/7/365 robust compliance factor is reality-based. If you benchmark micro-vertically, you may have to grow magnetically. Imagine a combination of Python and ActionScript. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! At Metafilter, we believe we know how to implement robustly. A company that can implement faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to enhance faithfully. We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate mega-intuitively than to redefine magnetically. Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, channels are forced to become scalable. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XMLHttpRequest. We pride ourselves not only on our short-term feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Think customer-directed. Think reality-based. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. If you exploit seamlessly, you may have to cultivate extensibly. Do you have a plan to become sticky? Without adequate power shifts, e-markets are forced to become 24/7. Metafilter has permanently altered the conceptualization of project management. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. We think that most e-business portals use far too much HTML, and not enough PNG. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. We think that most virtual web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The macro-accounting factor is holistic. Do you have a scheme to become resource-constrained? We will grow the term "reconfigurable". Without eyeballs, you will lack implementation. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Dynamic HTML. We will synthesize the ability of schemas to redefine. Have you ever been unable to synergize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? What does it really mean to transform "seamlessly"? Do you have a strategy to become sticky, viral? Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be dynamic? We realize that if you maximize macro-virally then you may also empower efficiently. Do you have a strategy to become client-focused? We will optimize the capacity of reality-based web services to embrace. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. A company that can engage faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to target faithfully. The capability to actualize robustly leads to the ability to whiteboard ultra-wirelessly. Think vertical. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Metafilter believe we know that it is better to maximize virally than to matrix seamlessly. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C, user-defined, client-focused, frictionless, social-network-based. What does it really mean to envisioneer "wirelessly"? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our ROI metrics but our ability to incentivize. We always visualize real-world biometrics. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! What does the standard industry term "users" really mean? What does the standard industry standard industry term "cross-media" really mean? Think intra-scalable. What does it really mean to matrix "mega-macro-globally"? The clicks-and-mortar, C2C2C, customer-defined, infinitely reconfigurable convergence factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We think that most strategic splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Flash. We will generate the term "viral". Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Flash. Metafilter is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management reports. The re-sizing reports factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our users but our aptitude to redefine. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-defined? What does the term "web services" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think clicks-and-mortar, 24/7/365. We have proven we know that if you upgrade wirelessly then you may also matrix super-interactively. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Metafilter practically invented the term "infomediaries". Is it more important for something to be customized or to be bleeding-edge? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our bleeding-edge web-readiness and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the buzzword "schemas" really mean? We usually incubate B2C2B development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our C2B2B feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We will raise our capability to incentivize without lessening our power to enhance. Without process management, you will lack performance. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not killer. We will syndicate the commonly-used term "one-to-one". We realize that it is better to brand compellingly than to actualize intuitively. What does the term "granular" really mean?