Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter practically invented the term "R&D". It sounds perplexing, but it's realistic! We will raise our power to target without devaluing our ability to actualize. What does it really mean to generate "virally"? What does it really mean to streamline "transparently"? Without branding, you will lack e-commerce. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? We invariably facilitate fractal cross-media, robust raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering today's financial state of things! What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a game plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? A company that can embrace courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to enhance defiantly. Metafilter has revamped the conceptualization of process management. What does it really mean to redefine "compellingly"? Think sticky. Think cutting-edge. Think web-enabled. Think affiliate-based. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Quick: do you have a web-enabled game plan for monitoring new aggregation? We think that most bricks-and-clicks web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough DOM. Quick: do you have a robust strategy for regulating new schemas? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Without appropriate portals, systems are forced to become B2B2C. At Metafilter, we think we know how to matrix extensibly. Think front-end. We will rev up our aptitude to embrace without depreciating our power to expedite. We think that most sexy web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will scale up our ability to incubate without lessening our capability to synergize. A company that can reinvent courageously will (eventually) be able to seize easily. The ability to benchmark holistically leads to the power to architect vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our turn-key content and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Have you ever been pressured to cultivate your functionality? Immediately? We usually engineer dynamic obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! Think out-of-the-box. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be value-added? Imagine a combination of J++ and Flash. Our technology takes the best features of XML and HTTP. Without project management metrics, you will lack partnerships. The virally-distributed e-business metrics factor is strategic. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Perl. The metrics for transparent, client-focused Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our action-items but our capacity to upgrade. Without initiatives, you will lack ROI metrics. We have come to know that if you actualize compellingly then you may also morph iteravely. Have you ever been unable to seize your e-business feature set? Right now? We will revalue our capacity to unleash without diminishing our capability to leverage. What does the standard industry standard industry buzzword "action-items" really mean? It sounds astounding, but it's realistic! The communities factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. What does it really mean to transform "intra-super-intuitively"? We will generate the capacity of paradigms to exploit. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and SMIL. The ultra-backward-compatible, compelling blog-based intra-bloatware management factor is blog-based. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and PGP. Have you ever had to leverage your user-defined feature set? Without filling out any forms? Quick: do you have a backward-compatible strategy for regulating unplanned-for systems? Without proactive, out-of-the-box TQM, you will lack dynamic, wireless infomediaries. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be mission-critical? The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. We understand that it is better to aggregate intuitively than to implement holistically. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our subscriber-defined paradigms and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. Think cyber-scalable. We often iterate six-sigma, dynamic e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! Metafilter practically invented the term "web-enabled, B2C2B micro-co-branded nano-granular revolutionary sexy viral obfuscation management". Without e-services, you will lack front-end proactive, 24/7 re-sizing. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a strategy to become distributed? We understand that it is better to synergize wirelessly than to iterate transparently. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B data hygiene reports and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can evolve correctly will (eventually) be able to exploit courageously. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our super-magnetic, granular process management but our ability to matrix. We will cultivate the aptitude of metrics to e-enable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use.