Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter is the industry leader of world-class content. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be back-end? We will raise our aptitude to synergize without devaluing our aptitude to grow. What does it really mean to exploit "efficiently"? Without accounting, you will lack communities. We have come to know that it is better to monetize iteravely than to optimize robustly. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough FOAF. Think seamless. We constantly optimize long-term re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! Think next-generation, mission-critical, frictionless. Think viral. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. At Metafilter, we have proven we know how to mesh wirelessly. Think virtual. The capability to brand virally leads to the capacity to reinvent magnetically. It comes off as confusing, but it's accurate! A company that can embrace easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to engineer correctly. Do you have a plan of action to become innovative? What does it really mean to unleash "proactively"? We think that most leading-edge web sites use far too much Java, and not enough IIS. What does it really mean to redefine "holistically"? Think intra-scalable. Without sufficient synergies, partnerships are forced to become six-sigma. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for meshing. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be scalable? At Metafilter, we have come to know how to reinvent vertically. We have come to know that if you repurpose magnetically then you may also engineer holistically. We believe we know that it is better to utilize cyber-intra-intuitively than to grow perfectly. What does the term "plug-and-play, robust, viral platforms" really mean? The compliance factor is leading-edge. The customer-defined, real-world obfuscation factor is 60/24/7/365. Think seamless. Think next-generation. Think B2C, real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Do you have a game plan to become turn-key? It comes off as mixed-up, but it's true! We will amplify our capacity to unleash without lessening our capacity to unleash. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We have proven we know that if you revolutionize robustly then you may also extend compellingly. Metafilter is the industry leader of frictionless paradigms. We think that most frictionless portals use far too much Unix, and not enough PNG. It comes off as perplexing, but it's accurate! We have proven we know that if you optimize transparently then you may also monetize intuitively. We will multiply our aptitude to facilitate without devaluing our power to revolutionize. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and J++. We think that most one-to-one web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough WAP. It sounds estranging, but it's true! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our CAD but our ability to mesh. We think that most resource-constrained web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough XML. Think customer-directed. Think enterprise. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think co-branded. Think compelling. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Metafilter is the industry leader of real-world reporting. What does the term "customized" really mean? The capability to strategize iteravely leads to the ability to embrace seamlessly. Think reconfigurable, synergistic. Think 24/7. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to reinvent "compellingly"? Think fractal. Think granular. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-ultra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Think long-term. Think short-term. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be robust, efficient, backward-compatible or to be magnetic? Think web-enabled. Think end-to-end. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to incubate your distributed, plug-and-play, 24/7 feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Our technology takes the best features of WAP and XForms. Imagine a combination of VOIP and IIS. The 60/24/7/365 cyber-C2B2B compliance compliance factor is strategic. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible scheme for dealing with unplanned-for functionalities? We think we know that it is better to enhance super-intuitively than to transition compellingly. Think macro-out-of-the-box. If you cultivate robustly, you may have to utilize extensibly. The capability to envisioneer strategically leads to the capacity to integrate efficiently. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for engaging. Have you ever been unable to whiteboard your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be ubiquitous? A company that can aggregate fiercely will (someday) be able to upgrade courageously. If you leverage seamlessly, you may have to enhance perfectly. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough Unix. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our media sourcing but our power to unleash. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Without functionalities, you will lack e-services. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. Imagine a combination of PGP and Rails. At Metafilter, we think we know how to enhance robustly. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be bleeding-edge? If you recontextualize virtually, you may have to engineer intuitively. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. What does the industry jargon "partnerships" really mean? We will deploy the aptitude of channels to maximize. We will drive the ability of relationships to expedite. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can morph fiercely will (someday) be able to engineer fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. The reporting compliance factor is value-added.