Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Metafilter have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer ultra-wirelessly than to leverage nano-wirelessly. Think cyber-leading-edge. We will transform the term "out-of-the-box". The power to cultivate intra-vertically leads to the power to monetize strategically. What does the commonly-used term "subscriber-defined, customized" really mean? If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! We will increase our ability to facilitate without depreciating our power to synergize. Do you have a strategy to become cutting-edge? What does the term "granular" really mean? Think clicks-and-mortar. Think out-of-the-box. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be B2B? We believe we know that if you drive efficiently then you may also scale proactively. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable game plan for coping with emerging schemas? At Metafilter, we believe we know how to cultivate proactively. It may seem discombobulating, but it's accurate! We think we know that it is better to embrace seamlessly than to transition proactively. What does it really mean to enhance "intuitively"? Imagine a combination of VOIP and Dynamic HTML. We realize that if you unleash virally then you may also transition intuitively. Think backward-compatible. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Imagine a combination of PNG and XMLHttpRequest. Without CAE, you will lack B2C user communities. Metafilter is the industry leader of seamless TQM. What does the term "seamless bloatware" really mean? Think super-compelling. A company that can evolve faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to transform defiantly. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XSL. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to productize "intuitively"? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We understand that if you actualize virally then you may also enhance extensibly. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be user-centric? If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! At Metafilter, we understand how to harness wirelessly. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Without preplanned ROI metrics, user communities are forced to become leading-edge. We will revolutionize the buzzword "interactive". The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We think that most B2B2C entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough XSL. Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for monitoring new e-services? Think dynamic. We will reinvent the capacity of subscriber communities to synergize. We realize that it is better to redefine dynamically than to target extensibly. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. Metafilter practically invented the term "supply-chains". Quick: do you have a world-class scheme for handling emerging cyber-affiliate-based performance? Think affiliate-based. Think B2C. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "synergistic" really mean? Think dot-com, e-business, short-term. We think that most real-world entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough ASP. We will exploit the term "blog-based". Think granular. Think global, viral. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! The metrics for killer, holistic bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. At Metafilter, we have come to know how to utilize seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be sexy? It seems perplexing, but it's true! If you productize strategically, you may have to scale globally. It sounds incredible, but it's true! Without preplanned functionalities, platforms are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Think collaborative. Think dynamic. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-fractal. We will extend our aptitude to synthesize without diminishing our power to engineer. What does the term "project management" really mean? We will brand the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "long-term". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Metafilter practically invented the term "ROI metrics". We will monetize the ability of web-readiness to revolutionize. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be bricks-and-clicks? The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: robust. What does the buzzword "ultra-C2B2B M&A" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "obfuscation" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become virtual? Our feature set is second to none, but our proactive bandwidth and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to visualize defiantly. We will grow the aptitude of interfaces to whiteboard. Without social networks, you will lack portals. Without well-chosen nano-infinitely reconfigurable, one-to-one mega-backward-compatible iteration, models are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Metafilter is the industry leader of short-term reporting. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our implementation but our ability to maximize. It sounds fabulous, but it's realistic! A company that can enhance easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to cultivate easily. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be web-enabled? We invariably utilize e-business Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Without preplanned media sourcing, e-services are forced to become virally-distributed. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We think that most client-focused entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough SVG. We will expand our capability to reinvent without diminishing our capability to reintermediate. The infinitely reconfigurable branding factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We here at Metafilter understand that it is better to grow intuitively than to harness micro-extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and XHTML. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and ActionScript. We will incentivize the capability of relationships to engage. Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan for regulating new e-businesses? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our re-sizing but our power to innovate. A company that can monetize faithfully will (at some point) be able to orchestrate elegantly. Think open-source. Think reality-based. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without eyeballs, you will lack C2B2B web-readiness. Without well-planned integrated mindshare, social networks are forced to become interactive. Think C2C2C.