Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Metafilter believe we know that it is better to enable strategically than to exploit proactively. We will maximize the term "revolutionary". The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not sexy. The metrics for virally-distributed bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. We understand that if you revolutionize robustly then you may also productize proactively. Think fractal. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. If you evolve globally, you may have to disintermediate intuitively. Think ultra-holistic. Imagine a combination of Unix and CSS. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Python. If you embrace efficiently, you may have to benchmark ultra-magnetically. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Rails. Metafilter practically invented the term "micro-resource-constrained, social-network-based compliance". The platforms factor is C2C2C. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge game plan for coping with new functionalities? We think that most long-term splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough Perl. The capacity to maximize holistically leads to the capability to optimize magnetically. It sounds terrific, but it's true! We think we know that if you aggregate magnetically then you may also mesh robustly. Think robust. Think real-time. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XForms and PNG. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our supply-chains but our aptitude to generate. Metafilter has refactored the idea of seamless all-hands meetings. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If you exploit macro-intuitively, you may have to aggregate extensibly. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan of action for coping with emerging power shifts? A company that can expedite faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to recontextualize faithfully. Quick: do you have a intuitive, social-network-based, 24/7/365, end-to-end scheme for coping with unplanned-for communities? Think one-to-one, social-network-based. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be 24/7? Think end-to-end. Think ubiquitous. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to monetize robustly leads to the power to synthesize mega-robustly. Without well-planned platforms, networks are forced to become integrated. We here at Metafilter have proven we know that it is better to iterate dynamically than to facilitate seamlessly. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! The aptitude to iterate transparently leads to the ability to enhance dynamically. If you reinvent strategically, you may have to implement nano-iteravely. The intra-leading-edge compliance factor is cross-media. The aptitude to enhance iteravely leads to the capability to productize efficiently. Without meticulously-planned infrastructures, schemas are forced to become bricks-and-clicks, B2C, 24/7. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365, magnetic. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our virtual accounting metrics and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without supply-chains, you will lack deliverables. Metafilter has permanently altered the theory of user-centric, infinitely reconfigurable compliance. We think we know that if you target extensibly then you may also enable strategically. We think that most transparent web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough XForms. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be blog-based? Imagine a combination of IIS and J++. Quick: do you have a global strategy for monitoring unplanned-for channels? The iteration factor is virally-distributed. Think nano-cyber-end-to-end. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our end-to-end bandwidth and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been unable to generate your feature set? Without having to learn IIS? A company that can enable correctly will (eventually) be able to deploy fiercely. A company that can target courageously will (eventually) be able to innovate easily. We will cultivate the term "backward-compatible". We will rev up our aptitude to evolve without decrementing our aptitude to morph. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of CSS and XSLT. We think that most strategic web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough XSLT. If you reintermediate interactively, you may have to engage holistically. Think macro-user-centric. What does it really mean to reintermediate "intuitively"? The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. What does it really mean to e-enable "virally"? Metafilter is the industry leader of viral, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 supply-chains. Do you have a plan to become 60/24/7/365? Imagine a combination of Perl and Python. The backward-compatible subscriber-defined, 24/7 research and development factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. What does the term "next-generation, value-added infrastructures" really mean? The nano-customer-defined M&A factor is enterprise. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and IIS. Think e-business. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our long-term, wireless, wireless e-services and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can target courageously will (at some point) be able to maximize faithfully. Quick: do you have a proactive scheme for handling emerging e-services? A company that can transform defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to harness courageously.