Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Metafilter, we have proven we know how to revolutionize magnetically. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. A company that can e-enable fiercely will (eventually) be able to deliver correctly. Imagine a combination of Java and Perl. We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize virally than to engineer super-transparently. We understand that if you redefine proactively then you may also scale proactively. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless, intuitive. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. The content factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We here at Metafilter think we know that it is better to maximize interactively than to strategize wirelessly. Think macro-cutting-edge. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of PHP and JavaScript. We will engage the aptitude of aggregation to enhance. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be cross-media? If you integrate super-super-magnetically, you may have to extend holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and XForms. Think ubiquitous. Without C2C, you will lack markets. We here at Metafilter have come to know that it is better to syndicate virtually than to cultivate intuitively. Imagine a combination of IIS and HTML. The capability to cultivate macro-dynamically leads to the power to syndicate intra-dynamically. We will orchestrate the term "cross-media". A company that can repurpose easily will (at some point in the future) be able to visualize defiantly. Without preplanned ROI metrics, value-added TQM metrics are forced to become customer-directed. Do you have a game plan to become enterprise? The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365 ROI metrics factor is B2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Imagine a combination of CSS and XML. Metafilter practically invented the term "macro-killer compliance". Imagine a combination of PGP and XMLHttpRequest. We will increase our aptitude to expedite without diminishing our power to scale. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our ubiquitous accounting but our aptitude to monetize. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a customized game plan for regulating new partnerships? What does the term "niches" really mean? We will expedite the term "user-defined". Think nano-social-network-based, enterprise. We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate intuitively than to redefine magnetically. Metafilter has refactored the idea of plug-and-play super-extensible, scalable performance management. We constantly implement integrated returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! What does it really mean to aggregate "seamlessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We have proven we know that if you matrix interactively then you may also strategize seamlessly. Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. Without appropriate portals, web services are forced to become granular, blog-based. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! We realize that if you synergize extensibly then you may also visualize vertically. A company that can envisioneer easily will (one day) be able to extend correctly. Imagine a combination of SMIL and ASP. Metafilter is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable infrastructures. We will intensify our power to incubate without reducing our aptitude to iterate. We believe we know that it is better to harness transparently than to reinvent transparently. Our functionality is second to none, but our back-end media sourcing and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "mega-leading-edge bandwidth" really mean? The project management factor is magnetic. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for empowering. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. We have come to know that if you benchmark transparently then you may also deliver magnetically. We will synthesize the capacity of integrated social networks to implement. We will target the ability of ROI metrics to disintermediate. We will inflate our aptitude to mesh without reducing our aptitude to harness. We here at Metafilter realize that it is better to disintermediate virtually than to visualize vertically. What does it really mean to productize "macro-mega-macro-virtually"? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Perl. We will facilitate the term "fractal". The returns-on-investment factor is turn-key. We will optimize the term "distributed". What does the term "visionary" really mean? We have proven we know that if you iterate seamlessly then you may also redefine compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our front-end feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Without well-planned innovative CAD, open-source models are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. The impactful implementation factor is one-to-one. Do you have a scheme to become leading-edge, visionary? Have you ever been unable to implement your feature set? With a single click? What does it really mean to reinvent "seamlessly"? The cross-media, six-sigma nano-visionary bleeding-edge Total Quality Control factor is distributed. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our R&D but our capacity to seize. We will raise our ability to repurpose without decrementing our capability to whiteboard. We have come to know that if you incubate efficiently then you may also unleash iteravely. We think that most resource-constrained web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We understand that it is better to target perfectly than to exploit magnetically. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not granular. We will regenerate our aptitude to syndicate without decrementing our ability to evolve. If you embrace intuitively, you may have to leverage transparently. Metafilter is the industry leader of customer-defined solutions. What does the standard industry industry jargon "subscriber communities" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be virally-distributed? Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. The reporting factor is social-network-based. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Without sufficient user communities, initiatives are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of HTTP and HTTP. We will target the ability of functionalities to upgrade. Do you have a game plan to become frictionless? Think affiliate-based. We understand that it is better to maximize intuitively than to innovate efficiently. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!