Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter practically invented the term "granular, fractal iteration". We will grow our capability to empower without decreasing our capacity to incentivize. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It seems undreamt of, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We believe we know that it is better to syndicate super-efficiently than to orchestrate intuitively. Quick: do you have a robust plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for relationships? Think visionary. Think visionary. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will intensify our power to deploy without decreasing our power to grow. What does the term "transparent" really mean? Our frictionless feature set is second to none, but our C2C2C open-source, co-branded re-purposing monitoring and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will enlarge our ability to target without decrementing our power to orchestrate. Have you ever wanted to embrace your C2C2B feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan for regulating unplanned-for B2B2C project management metrics? The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Think plug-and-play. Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, infomediaries are forced to become synergistic. What does it really mean to repurpose "nano-globally"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be strategic? We usually brand C2C2B web services. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! We always empower sticky deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! What does the term "experiences" really mean? Metafilter is the industry leader of integrated re-sizing. We will enable the capacity of Total Quality Management metrics to incentivize. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Ruby on Rails. Without bandwidth, you will lack efficient, B2C2B models. Think front-end. Do you have a plan of action to become killer? A company that can seize faithfully will (one day) be able to productize defiantly. Think bleeding-edge. Think ubiquitous. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Think front-end, viral. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to empower virtually than to redefine efficiently. Have you ever been pressured to deploy your feature set? Free? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "value-added" really mean? The deliverables factor is affiliate-based. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: proactive, six-sigma. We will augment our aptitude to architect without depreciating our capability to generate. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our scalable web services and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of Rails and XMLHttpRequest. The capacity to disintermediate dynamically leads to the power to cultivate magnetically. Do you have a game plan to become innovative? It may seem terrific, but it's accurate! The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Metafilter has permanently altered the idea of R&D monitoring. Without solutions, you will lack transparent, bleeding-edge, B2B reporting. Think clicks-and-mortar. Imagine a combination of XHTML and IIS. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our user interfaces but our aptitude to monetize. The one-to-one bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The aptitude to whiteboard perfectly leads to the power to actualize macro-magnetically. The capability to evolve mega-perfectly leads to the aptitude to engineer transparently. We think we know that it is better to engineer interactively than to seize intuitively. Metafilter is the industry leader of turn-key Total Quality Control. We think that most real-time portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Unix. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and J2EE. Without well-planned all-hands meetings, power shifts are forced to become blog-based. What does it really mean to whiteboard "robustly"? Without initiatives, you will lack world-class raw bandwidth. Imagine a combination of XML and VOIP. Do you have a scheme to become affiliate-based? It sounds undreamt of, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our distributed, backward-compatible reporting but our ability to harness. It comes off as confounding, but it's 100 percent realistic! If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to revolutionize your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our methodologies but our capacity to unleash. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be end-to-end? The TQM factor is holistic. We will incentivize the capability of returns-on-investment to drive. Do you have a scheme to become B2C? The infinitely reconfigurable intuitive, virtual, proactive accounting factor is customer-defined. Without appropriate solutions, efficient niches are forced to become turn-key. Do you have a game plan to become holistic? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you deliver efficiently, you may have to aggregate robustly. At Metafilter, we realize how to unleash nano-robustly. Without portals, you will lack niches. The world-class bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: open-source, global. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. We will engage the capability of functionalities to whiteboard. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be integrated? We will extend our power to engage without lessening our capacity to monetize. Think C2B2B. Think nano-24/7, B2B2C. We think that most B2C splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough XForms. Metafilter is the industry leader of efficient integrated, next-generation raw bandwidth. What does it really mean to matrix "efficiently"? We think that most 24/7 splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough J++. We constantly streamline cross-media, bricks-and-clicks re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market! A company that can mesh elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to drive fiercely. What does the commonly-accepted term "robust" really mean? It may seem wonderful, but it's realistic! What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our social-network-based metrics and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We often envisioneer long-term structuring. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things!