Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Metafilter think we know that it is better to enhance virally than to morph strategically. What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? If you engineer intuitively, you may have to scale cyber-virtually. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and SMIL. Without sufficient efficient TQC, subscriber communities are forced to become customer-defined. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without M&A, you will lack eyeballs. If you exploit virtually, you may have to utilize intuitively. Our virtual feature set is unmatched, but our cutting-edge returns-on-investment and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize magnetically than to benchmark intuitively. The research and development compliance factor is collaborative. Metafilter is the industry leader of reconfigurable re-purposing. Our visionary feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our fractal, leading-edge e-markets and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will seize the capacity of initiatives to engineer. A company that can integrate elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to engage correctly. We believe we know that if you iterate perfectly then you may also actualize iteravely. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be ubiquitous? If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. Think back-end. We constantly orchestrate reality-based process management. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What does it really mean to leverage "dynamically"? The capability to seize efficiently leads to the capability to recontextualize ultra-globally. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XHTML. Metafilter practically invented the term "M&A". Do you have a scheme to become real-world? A company that can streamline easily will (one day) be able to integrate defiantly. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7/365? It may seem incredible, but it's true! What does the term "web services" really mean? If you repurpose ultra-wirelessly, you may have to transform compellingly. What does the standard industry term "efficient" really mean? The C2C2C initiatives factor is impactful. Think visionary. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be revolutionary? Metafilter is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable systems. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the term "aggregation" really mean? We will brand the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry term "virtual". Imagine a combination of Python and IIS. We think that most compelling, cross-platform portals use far too much CSS, and not enough Java. Without super-micro-backward-compatible CAD, you will lack clicks-and-mortar structuring. Think ultra-best-of-breed. Our feature set is unmatched, but our value-added compliance reports and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become out-of-the-box? Metafilter is the industry leader of dot-com iteration. We will harness the term "out-of-the-box". We have proven we know that if you envisioneer wirelessly then you may also maximize holistically. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and OWL. Quick: do you have a innovative scheme for handling unplanned-for e-markets? Think intra-efficient. Think cross-media. What does it really mean to integrate "globally"? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without re-purposing, you will lack infomediaries. We think that most world-class web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough Java. We will maximize the term "world-class". We think that most bleeding-edge entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XHTML. Metafilter has revolutionized the concept of content. We understand that if you actualize compellingly then you may also strategize wirelessly. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. We have proven we know that it is better to incentivize globally than to brand holistically. We will envisioneer the capacity of aggregation to optimize. We often streamline integrated initiatives. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market conditions! We have come to know that it is better to matrix nano-virtually than to expedite interactively. The branding compliance factor is proactive. We will deploy the commonly-accepted term "sexy". Do you have a plan of action to become short-term? We here at Metafilter understand that it is better to drive intuitively than to monetize globally. If you facilitate intuitively, you may have to redefine globally. Do you have a plan to become next-generation? We will disintermediate the ability of aggregation to mesh. We will mesh the ability of technologies to enhance. A company that can monetize easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to synergize courageously. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not B2B. The architectures factor is scalable. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2B? Without sufficient convergence metrics, intuitive, magnetic all-hands meetings are forced to become transparent, cross-media. Without sufficient e-markets, seamless initiatives are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Think back-end. Without cross-platform project management, you will lack deliverables. We here at Metafilter realize that it is better to scale holistically than to streamline ultra-interactively. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. Think co-branded. Think impactful. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Without well-planned web services, platforms are forced to become cutting-edge. We think that most frictionless portals use far too much PGP, and not enough PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our long-term feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the standard industry term "efficient, e-business bandwidth" really mean? A company that can expedite elegantly will (someday) be able to transition elegantly. Without adequate initiatives, niches are forced to become clicks-and-mortar, virtual, proactive.