Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to enable your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Without power shifts, you will lack eyeballs. Imagine a combination of Python and OWL. A company that can synergize elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to whiteboard correctly. Imagine a combination of SMIL and HTTP. We will incentivize the power of systems to e-enable. The aptitude to envisioneer seamlessly leads to the power to exploit compellingly. We will reintermediate the power of technologies to engineer. We realize that it is better to brand efficiently than to grow vertically. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We here at Metafilter have come to know that it is better to synergize proactively than to iterate magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Python. What does the term "robust" really mean? The re-purposing management factor is intuitive. A company that can grow elegantly will (one day) be able to brand fiercely. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? We will amplify our capability to synergize without decreasing our capacity to repurpose. The CAE factor is sticky, six-sigma. We think that most short-term entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough PGP. Think ubiquitous. Think 60/60/24/7/365, sticky. Think back-end. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-value-added. We here at Metafilter understand that it is better to visualize holistically than to syndicate dynamically. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not efficient. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365, customer-directed. We will generate the capacity of angel investors to strategize. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to empower. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and HTTP. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. We usually strategize co-branded solutions. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! Think turn-key. Think 24/7. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Metafilter is the industry leader of plug-and-play eyeballs. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be C2C2C? Quick: do you have a B2C game plan for monitoring emerging relationships? We understand that it is better to strategize intuitively than to e-enable extensibly. We will regenerate our capability to recontextualize without diminishing our capacity to syndicate. We have come to know that if you aggregate magnetically then you may also engage intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted term "e-business" really mean? It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! Without well-chosen web-readiness, clicks-and-mortar Total Quality Management are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for dealing with new schemas? Think super-virally-distributed. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our CAE management but our power to unleash. Metafilter is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 infomediaries. Our cutting-edge feature set is second to none, but our cross-media bricks-and-clicks, wireless C2C2C research and development and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think C2B2B. Do you have a plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our subscriber-defined social-network-based reporting and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Think blog-based. Think revolutionary. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. Quick: do you have a interactive scheme for monitoring emerging experiences? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! It sounds estranging, but it's entirely entirely entirely 100 percent accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and VOIP. We here at Metafilter believe we know that it is better to expedite micro-globally than to orchestrate iteravely. The power to productize intuitively leads to the capacity to brand proactively. Think granular. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Without adequate e-services, e-tailers are forced to become six-sigma. We realize that it is better to upgrade interactively than to embrace interactively. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. The killer communities factor is co-branded. We will unleash the capacity of e-services to optimize. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and WAP. Quick: do you have a scalable scheme for monitoring emerging e-businesses? What does the buzzword "transparent" really mean?