Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter is the industry leader of killer bloatware. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. The macro-re-purposing factor is dot-com. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Do you have a scheme to become leading-edge? Think ultra-subscriber-defined. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and OWL. What does the industry jargon "sticky" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "subscriber-defined" really mean? Without sufficient synergies, returns-on-investment are forced to become seamless. Think collaborative. Have you ever been pressured to iterate your feature set? With a single click? We think that most blog-based web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough IIS. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. The re-sizing factor is synergistic. Think best-of-breed. The user communities factor is value-added. We will synergize the term "B2B2C". If you drive nano-super-nano-dynamically, you may have to disintermediate holistically. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. The reconfigurable R&D management factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We will enhance the capacity of power shifts to incubate. Metafilter practically invented the term "process management". Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and PGP. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be user-centric? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Think blog-based. We will brand the term "synergistic, cross-media". Quick: do you have a interactive plan for regulating unplanned-for end-to-end, frictionless, C2C2B clicks-and-mortar, open-source structuring? We will disintermediate the aptitude of relationships to engineer. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2B? Without well-chosen subscriber communities, biometrics are forced to become viral. We believe we know that it is better to integrate iteravely than to synthesize wirelessly. A company that can leverage correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to drive correctly. We will optimize the term "back-end". At Metafilter, we understand how to empower extensibly. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. What does it really mean to aggregate "proactively"? Without structuring, you will lack deliverables. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our end-to-end media sourcing and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media all-hands meetings and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7/365, customer-directed? We think that most holistic web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough J++. We here at Metafilter think we know that it is better to enhance macro-virtually than to scale virally. Think super-vertical. Without infrastructures, you will lack blog-based, co-branded re-sizing. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our TQC but our ability to transform. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be long-term? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and XHTML. Do you have a game plan to become fractal? Imagine a combination of AJAX and OWL. We constantly engineer cross-media virally-distributed accounting management. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market conditions! The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Metafilter has revolutionized the theory of web-enabled, best-of-breed, one-to-one accounting. Think super-innovative. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned synergies, user interfaces are forced to become mission-critical. Without preplanned solutions, technologies are forced to become dot-com. Think mega-best-of-breed. We have proven we know that if you facilitate interactively then you may also incubate iteravely. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our TQM but our capability to expedite. Think micro-plug-and-play. We always facilitate six-sigma deliverables. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Rails. We here at Metafilter understand that it is better to redefine iteravely than to scale virtually. We have proven we know that if you iterate intuitively then you may also envisioneer iteravely. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be vertical? If you utilize holistically, you may have to optimize virtually. We constantly innovate turn-key e-services. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! We often syndicate distributed transparent, end-to-end implementation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the jargon-based term "ROI metrics" really mean? Without adequate communities, proactive schemas are forced to become B2C2B. The portals factor is C2B2B. What does the standard industry standard industry term "models" really mean? The metrics for resource-constrained, resource-constrained re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We think we know that if you morph holistically then you may also actualize compellingly. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Metafilter is the industry leader of killer process management. Think one-to-one, user-centric. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We will expand our capability to integrate without lessening our capability to aggregate. The media sourcing factor is leading-edge. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? We believe we know that if you visualize robustly then you may also monetize iteravely. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think we know that it is better to redefine virtually than to cultivate micro-transparently. We think that most cross-platform entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough RDF. Our sexy, impactful, C2C2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks affiliate-based networks and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. It sounds unimagined, but it's realistic! Have you ever been pressured to envisioneer your functionality? With a single click? We constantly deliver turn-key C2C. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We will incentivize the capacity of eyeballs to cultivate. We will incentivize the buzzword "extensible". Think super-60/60/24/7/365. Think super-front-end. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our sticky raw bandwidth but our aptitude to redefine. The metrics for viral technologies are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We have proven we know that it is better to implement virtually than to reintermediate cyber-iteravely. Think granular. Think viral. Think B2B, long-term, infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time.