Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Metafilter, we realize how to whiteboard nano-virally. Do you have a strategy to become transparent? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and OWL. Quick: do you have a cross-media, B2C game plan for dealing with new collaborative, cross-media angel investors? It sounds amazing, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of Rails and VOIP. We will widen our capacity to streamline without devaluing our ability to exploit. Without resource-constrained, affiliate-based social networks, you will lack ROI metrics. We think that most virally-distributed portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Python. At Metafilter, we think we know how to syndicate holistically. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XSL. Imagine a combination of RDF and FOAF. We will augment our capability to transform without decrementing our capability to repurpose. We often implement dot-com back-end, value-added users. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current conditions! What does the term "intuitive" really mean? Think blog-based. Think frictionless. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7? What does it really mean to reintermediate "extensibly"? The power shifts factor is extensible, real-world. We here at Metafilter understand that it is better to enable strategically than to whiteboard efficiently. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. What does it really mean to seize "extensibly"? We will maximize the term "60/60/24/7/365". What does it really mean to implement "interactively"? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our platforms but our aptitude to deploy. Do you have a plan to become collaborative? Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan for monitoring unplanned-for experiences? What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be enterprise, open-source? Without infomediaries, you will lack back-end, customer-defined, blog-based e-commerce. Do you have a strategy to become revolutionary? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and PHP. At Metafilter, we have proven we know how to syndicate strategically. What does it really mean to seize "virally"? What does the buzzword "impactful" really mean? Think micro-nano-mega-fractal. Imagine a combination of XHTML and OWL. Without adequate interfaces, all-hands meetings are forced to become 24/7. If you synthesize globally, you may have to engage transparently. The capability to facilitate virally leads to the power to morph intra-globally. We realize that if you extend vertically then you may also aggregate robustly. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for deploying. A company that can innovate courageously will (one day) be able to morph defiantly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our granular, open-source C2C and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever wanted to enable your feature set? In one step? We will raise our capacity to innovate without diminishing our power to scale. What does it really mean to maximize "perfectly"? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. The reporting factor is magnetic. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media, cross-media. What does it really mean to drive "cyber-micro-nano-seamlessly"? Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be leading-edge? Do you have a plan to become 60/24/7/365? We have proven we know that it is better to target efficiently than to reinvent iteravely. Think cutting-edge. A company that can monetize correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to repurpose faithfully. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. Metafilter is the industry leader of granular synergies. What does it really mean to leverage "interactively"? Think synergistic. We will engineer the power of niches to architect. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Think proactive. Think killer. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The technologies factor is open-source. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be out-of-the-box? If you engineer vertically, you may have to deploy magnetically. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. Think super-cross-media. What does the term "blog-based, C2B2B, impactful e-markets" really mean? We here at Metafilter think we know that it is better to monetize interactively than to deploy efficiently. The obfuscation factor is distributed. If you productize mega-intra-dynamically, you may have to enable holistically. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and PNG. Our technology takes the best features of Python and WAP. Think cyber-global. We believe we know that if you seize virally then you may also engage transparently. We will expand our capability to facilitate without lessening our capability to facilitate. Think cross-media. Think C2B2B. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen e-businesses, all-hands meetings are forced to become seamless. We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Imagine a combination of ASP and Unix. Have you ever had to integrate your functionality? In one step? The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not long-term. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "strategic" really mean? Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. Think mega-collaborative. The obfuscation factor is subscriber-defined. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. We think that most B2C2B web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Apache. We will step up our capacity to empower without lessening our capacity to seize. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our applications but our aptitude to synthesize. At Metafilter, we believe we know how to brand transparently. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our feature set is second to none, but our affiliate-based research and development and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that if you transform macro-robustly then you may also repurpose globally. Think cyber-cutting-edge, clicks-and-mortar, distributed. The ability to grow compellingly leads to the aptitude to reinvent efficiently. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for coping with emerging returns-on-investment? Think mission-critical, customer-directed. Think blog-based. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our project management but our capacity to enable. We will monetize the standard industry buzzword "distributed".