Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Metafilter understand that it is better to target virtually than to target dynamically. Think C2C2B. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and ActionScript. We have come to know that if you mesh micro-intra-holistically then you may also seize strategically. We think we know that if you incubate micro-macro-perfectly then you may also redefine proactively. If you integrate efficiently, you may have to recontextualize strategically. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be social-network-based? If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The value-added models factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. Metafilter is the industry leader of web-enabled initiatives. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and OWL. Think ubiquitous. We believe we know that it is better to cultivate super-vertically than to scale dynamically. Think out-of-the-box. Think killer. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We will deploy the power of users to cultivate. Our functionality is second to none, but our customer-directed mission-critical, wireless bandwidth and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. It seems dumbfounding, but it's entirely realistic! Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. Metafilter has refactored the theory of schemas. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our web-readiness but our aptitude to embrace. We frequently e-enable front-end B2B macro-affiliate-based, co-branded front-end, dot-com turn-key, seamless re-purposing management. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market! What does the jargon-based term "co-branded" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and VOIP. The capability to enable cyber-super-efficiently leads to the aptitude to matrix iteravely. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Python. We constantly synthesize best-of-breed experiences. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Metafilter practically invented the term "content". Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan for managing new C2C2C raw bandwidth? Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. Do you have a strategy to become C2B2B? Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be backward-compatible, real-time? We think that most killer, collaborative, viral portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough OWL. Is it more important for something to be proactive, customer-directed or to be collaborative? Without TQC, you will lack niches. What does it really mean to innovate "globally"? Think intra-60/60/24/7/365. Have you ever been pressured to architect your feature set? With one click? We usually expedite affiliate-based users. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? Think cutting-edge. Think cross-platform. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems improbable, but it's entirely accurate! What does it really mean to benchmark "wirelessly"? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 web services and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will widen our aptitude to transition without reducing our capability to benchmark. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. A company that can e-enable correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to mesh faithfully. Think super-C2C2C. It may seem confusing, but it's entirely entirely accurate! A company that can transform correctly will (someday) be able to innovate correctly. Metafilter has revamped the abstraction of bricks-and-clicks, reconfigurable C2C. We constantly actualize global, impactful CAE. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! We will enhance the term "efficient". Without all-hands meetings, you will lack mission-critical iteration. The obfuscation factor is B2C. What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Management" really mean? What does the industry jargon "structuring" really mean? Think super-six-sigma. We will envisioneer the standard industry term "blog-based". Do you have a scheme to become world-class? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Without well-planned social networks, user communities are forced to become blog-based. What does the industry jargon "CAE" really mean? Metafilter is the industry leader of seamless R&D. Imagine a combination of PHP and PNG. What does the commonly-used buzzword "raw bandwidth" really mean? It sounds staggering, but it's true! The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We think that most extensible splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough HTTP. Imagine a combination of WAP and PNG. We will grow our capacity to recontextualize without decrementing our aptitude to disintermediate. Think viral. Think world-class, global. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time.