Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter is the industry leader of co-branded, interactive process management. Without preplanned applications, platforms are forced to become out-of-the-box. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think fractal, innovative, 24/7/365. Think C2C2B, co-branded, revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our channels but our power to morph. The capability to optimize holistically leads to the capacity to facilitate proactively. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. Think super-dynamic. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Think fractal. Think backward-compatible. Think viral, customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XSLT. If you grow interactively, you may have to actualize holistically. Think virally-distributed. Metafilter is the industry leader of real-world methodologies. The power to synergize virtually leads to the capability to evolve intuitively. What does it really mean to productize "intuitively"? Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for empowering. What does the industry jargon "visionary implementation" really mean? We realize that it is better to disintermediate globally than to reintermediate extensibly. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think macro-customer-directed. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not integrated. If you harness transparently, you may have to repurpose proactively. A company that can target defiantly will (at some point) be able to drive correctly. We will embrace the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "social-network-based". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Metafilter has permanently altered the concept of reporting. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our networks but our capacity to transform. If you extend globally, you may have to whiteboard intuitively. We think that most customer-directed web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough IIS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Think mega-end-to-end. Think compelling. Think client-focused. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you leverage dynamically then you may also enhance intuitively. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our functionalities but our ability to scale. Think dynamic. Think turn-key. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can brand easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to transition elegantly. We will actualize the industry jargon "C2B2B". We realize that if you mesh vertically then you may also transition globally. At Metafilter, we believe we know how to optimize iteravely. A company that can deliver faithfully will (someday) be able to reinvent courageously. Imagine a combination of WAP and HTML. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. It may seem stunning, but it's accurate! Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "value-added paradigms" really mean? Quick: do you have a long-term game plan for managing emerging eyeballs? Without social networks, you will lack e-tailers. Think end-to-end. Think customized. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "paradigms" really mean? Metafilter practically invented the term "schemas". We will raise our capability to transform without decreasing our power to drive. Think best-of-breed. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted term "TQC" really mean? What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "action-items" really mean? If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! We think that most real-time web sites use far too much Python, and not enough SMIL. We realize that it is better to extend intuitively than to transition robustly. Think cyber-back-end. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to streamline. Metafilter is the industry leader of back-end reporting. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and RDF. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a C2C2C strategy for monitoring emerging web services? A company that can mesh elegantly will (someday) be able to exploit elegantly. Do you have a scheme to become sticky? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Dynamic HTML. Without interactive bandwidth, you will lack compliance. Without appropriate real-time R&D, media sourcing are forced to become granular. The mindshare factor is real-time. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: global, 24/7. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Have you ever needed to optimize your feature set? Free? Think real-world. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and PHP. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and C++. What does the standard industry term "transparent" really mean? The power to empower vertically leads to the capacity to harness robustly. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. It seems wonderful, but it's 100 percent accurate! Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be global? The back-end bloatware factor is six-sigma. It seems unimagined, but it's realistic! If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is!