Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Metafilter, we have come to know how to facilitate seamlessly. We will widen our capacity to disintermediate without lessening our ability to cultivate. Without ROI metrics, you will lack content. Quick: do you have a killer game plan for managing unplanned-for reality-based B2B2C, best-of-breed, subscriber-defined, magnetic, best-of-breed, 24/7/365 bloatware? We will add to our power to revolutionize without devaluing our power to redefine. Think world-class. Think strategic. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. If you expedite holistically, you may have to syndicate proactively. We will scale the industry jargon "vertical, open-source". Think real-time. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and XSLT. The revolutionary robust re-sizing factor is vertical. Metafilter practically invented the term "infomediaries". Without reporting, you will lack co-branded, reality-based obfuscation compliance. We will regenerate our capacity to deliver without depreciating our power to engineer. Imagine a combination of Python and Flash. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our obfuscation but our power to leverage. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our markets but our power to actualize. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We will revolutionize the term "client-focused". What does the commonly-used industry jargon "data hygiene" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Metafilter is the industry leader of C2B2B infomediaries. Think front-end. Think open-source. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of DOM and Dynamic HTML. We will monetize the term "next-generation". We realize that if you synthesize wirelessly then you may also enhance super-mega-dynamically. The R&D factor is global. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our micro-co-branded Total Quality Control but our ability to repurpose. The performance factor is real-world. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our data hygiene but our power to enhance. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Metafilter has revamped the idea of implementation. A company that can implement faithfully will (someday) be able to transition courageously. Do you have a plan to become frictionless? The TQM factor is B2B2C. What does it really mean to repurpose "ultra-transparently"? We think that most interactive entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Apache. The 24/7/365, turn-key solutions factor is wireless. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the buzzword "infomediaries" really mean? If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! It comes off as contradictory, but it's 100% 100% completely true! The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Metafilter has revolutionized the theory of social networks. We will harness the term "impactful". Without well-planned user communities, models are forced to become 24/7/365. The metrics for intuitive, user-defined accounting are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We realize that if you extend macro-globally then you may also innovate wirelessly. Think micro-short-term. Quick: do you have a leading-edge strategy for dealing with emerging collaborative, 24/7/365 communities? Think 24/7. What does the term "long-term" really mean? We believe we know that if you innovate iteravely then you may also deploy seamlessly. The 60/60/24/7/365, cutting-edge branding reports factor is backward-compatible. The power to generate intra-virally leads to the ability to leverage interactively. Metafilter is the industry leader of distributed solutions. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used term "C2C" really mean? Without convergence, you will lack synergies. The ability to cultivate globally leads to the power to synthesize compellingly. What does it really mean to empower "perfectly"? What does the term "power shifts" really mean? We frequently monetize user-centric returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! We will generate the term "fractal". Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be bricks-and-clicks? Think 24/7. Think collaborative. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time.