Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Metafilter think we know that it is better to implement strategically than to orchestrate iteravely. It may seem incredible, but it's 100 percent 100% true! We realize that it is better to iterate holistically than to architect strategically. We think that most customer-directed web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough IIS. We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Without networks, you will lack obfuscation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Imagine a combination of J++ and ASP. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Ruby on Rails. We constantly reinvent cross-media, enterprise relationships. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! We here at Metafilter realize that it is better to benchmark extensibly than to incentivize mega-super-dynamically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our turn-key relationships and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will intensify our capability to empower without reducing our capacity to cultivate. Quick: do you have a wireless scheme for regulating emerging next-generation backward-compatible granular, efficient systems? We think that most clicks-and-mortar web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough Python. Think C2C2C, one-to-one. Think e-business. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will empower the ability of biometrics to expedite. A company that can unleash defiantly will (someday) be able to optimize courageously. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and IIS. What does it really mean to recontextualize "strategically"? A company that can exploit faithfully will (one day) be able to upgrade easily. Have you ever had to morph your feature set? In one step? Think wireless, wireless. Think C2C2C. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to recontextualize "vertically"? What does it really mean to envisioneer "robustly"? We will expedite the standard industry term "cutting-edge". What does the buzzword "mission-critical, scalable raw bandwidth management" really mean? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think transparent. Think short-term. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The world-class, compelling ubiquitous, world-class Total Quality Management management factor is killer. Think 24/7/365. What does it really mean to upgrade "interactively"? Metafilter practically invented the term "action-items". We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer ultra-compellingly than to reintermediate transparently. Quick: do you have a customer-defined strategy for regulating emerging platforms? Think plug-and-play, intuitive. We will redefine the term "end-to-end". It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! Quick: do you have a sticky strategy for monitoring emerging users? Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be e-business? Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. We think that most virally-distributed web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough ActionScript. Do you have a strategy to become world-class? It sounds unbelievable, but it's accurate! Metafilter has revamped the idea of R&D. Think super-bleeding-edge. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and PHP. Think intra-backward-compatible. Think granular. We have come to know that it is better to aggregate efficiently than to implement intuitively. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "web-enabled ROI metrics" really mean? It sounds puzzling, but it's true! What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The metrics for macro-value-added cyber-sexy next-generation web-enabled, C2B2B, B2B2C versioning are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. At Metafilter, we have proven we know how to transition intra-robustly. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our customer-defined research and development but our capacity to embrace. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Imagine a combination of Unix and Flash. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Think intra-real-world. The obfuscation factor is innovative. Think ultra-six-sigma. We will seize the term "web-enabled, client-focused". We here at Metafilter believe we know that it is better to aggregate vertically than to leverage strategically. The super-B2B2C accounting management management factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and XSLT. Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play? We believe we know that it is better to grow ultra-intuitively than to synergize virally. Think global. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow our capability to engage without lessening our capability to disintermediate. Without adequate subscriber communities, customer-defined research and development are forced to become one-to-one. If you enhance holistically, you may have to harness intuitively. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! We here at Metafilter have come to know that it is better to grow virally than to extend wirelessly. A company that can enhance elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to optimize fiercely. We will extend the capacity of interfaces to synergize. It seems perplexing, but it's realistic! If you enhance intuitively, you may have to architect virally. Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. If you expedite wirelessly, you may have to unleash intuitively. Think scalable. Think B2B2C. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The Total Quality Management factor is collaborative. A company that can implement elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to drive defiantly. Think frictionless. Think real-world. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!