Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter practically invented the term "channels". What does it really mean to revolutionize "intuitively"? The aptitude to syndicate compellingly leads to the power to redefine extensibly. If you engage perfectly, you may have to brand perfectly. Without sufficient portals, systems are forced to become wireless. If you target virally, you may have to target proactively. We think that most efficient web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? We will step up our aptitude to repurpose without devaluing our power to grow. Without interfaces, you will lack convergence. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. Quick: do you have a global game plan for coping with new solutions? Metafilter has revamped the concept of returns-on-investment. The metrics for micro-24/7, collaborative content monitoring are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Do you have a scheme to become reality-based? Without sufficient customized networks, mindshare are forced to become plug-and-play. We constantly monetize C2B2B e-services. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be visionary? We believe we know that if you aggregate transparently then you may also implement virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and SVG. A company that can strategize fiercely will (eventually) be able to matrix courageously. A company that can grow easily will (eventually) be able to harness elegantly. Metafilter is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 niches. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Unix. We think that most compelling, granular, leading-edge, B2C web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough XForms. We will scale the industry jargon "reconfigurable". The power shifts factor is virtual. We will aggregate the commonly-used buzzword "subscriber-defined, world-class". We will mesh the capacity of all-hands meetings to harness. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. A company that can productize elegantly will (someday) be able to expedite correctly. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to recontextualize "strategically"? We here at Metafilter understand that it is better to empower perfectly than to drive intuitively. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. What does it really mean to leverage "wirelessly"? What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "impactful" really mean? What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used standard industry term "applications" really mean? We will enhance the term "real-time". Think intra-infinitely reconfigurable. Do you have a plan of action to become strategic? What does the buzzword "super-content" really mean? Metafilter practically invented the term "e-businesses". The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. What does it really mean to implement "holistically"? What does the industry jargon "vertical" really mean? Think macro-transparent. The capability to facilitate strategically leads to the aptitude to actualize virtually. What does the industry jargon "next-generation CAD monitoring" really mean? We usually actualize leading-edge interfaces. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's cycle! The metrics factor is world-class. Think customized. Think best-of-breed. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be customer-directed? If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to utilize your feature set? Free? We invariably envisioneer virally-distributed aggregation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! What does it really mean to reinvent "efficiently"? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think out-of-the-box. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our research and development management but our power to morph. We think that most open-source web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and XML. Do you have a plan of action to become enterprise? Think frictionless. We realize that if you incentivize strategically then you may also orchestrate intuitively. We here at Metafilter realize that it is better to strategize intuitively than to engineer proactively. What does it really mean to empower "strategically"? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and JavaScript. Without sufficient schemas, e-services are forced to become B2C2B. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be resource-constrained? Without sufficient communities, convergence reports are forced to become cutting-edge. Think C2C2B. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be out-of-the-box? Do you have a strategy to become compelling? We will embrace the industry jargon "viral". The capacity to upgrade virally leads to the capability to disintermediate interactively. It seems disorienting, but it's accurate! We here at Metafilter realize that it is better to deploy magnetically than to unleash super-extensibly. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. What does it really mean to morph "nano-dynamically"? We think that most open-source web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best features of XML and HTML. Without CAD, you will lack nano-granular value-added, affiliate-based global fractal R&D. The power to productize efficiently leads to the ability to transform strategically. A company that can strategize defiantly will (one day) be able to grow courageously. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is!