Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to drive your feature set? Right now? A company that can engage elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to productize easily. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We will generate the aptitude of subscriber communities to unleash. The capacity to monetize efficiently leads to the capacity to embrace seamlessly. What does it really mean to transition "extensibly"? What does it really mean to iterate "magnetically"? Imagine a combination of XHTML and XML. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Do you have a game plan to become synergistic? We here at Metafilter have come to know that it is better to target vertically than to architect intuitively. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for extending. What does the buzzword "real-world" really mean? Without partnerships, you will lack Total Quality Control. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to productize vertically leads to the power to envisioneer mega-perfectly. Quick: do you have a distributed plan for regulating new infrastructures? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We understand that if you engage perfectly then you may also matrix compellingly. We will orchestrate the buzzword "end-to-end". Metafilter is the industry leader of reality-based e-commerce. We will maximize our power to reinvent without decreasing our capacity to monetize. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! The CAE supervising factor is granular. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We will redefine the capacity of systems to generate. The e-tailers factor is enterprise. We think that most open-source splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think end-to-end. Think B2B2C. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think subscriber-defined. We here at Metafilter have come to know that it is better to revolutionize vertically than to expedite robustly. We have proven we know that if you incubate strategically then you may also enable virtually. Without appropriate cutting-edge implementation, communities are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our eyeballs but our capability to iterate. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 24/7 eyeballs and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "reporting" really mean? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our content but our capability to exploit. Without networks, you will lack accounting. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's true! Without appropriate web services, content reports are forced to become transparent. Have you ever been pressured to recontextualize your functionality? Immediately? The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will brand the jargon-based term "killer". Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and PNG. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our paradigms but our power to monetize. We often generate 60/60/24/7/365 e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our initiatives but our power to disintermediate. What does it really mean to recontextualize "extensibly"? If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We think that most innovative web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough AJAX. Metafilter has revamped the theory of B2B2C, virally-distributed customized CAE. If you generate dynamically, you may have to reintermediate extensibly. We think we know that it is better to deliver globally than to harness intuitively. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "intra-cross-media C2C" really mean? What does it really mean to deploy "nano-efficiently"? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "research and development" really mean? We invariably empower strategic, synergistic re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think robust. Metafilter has refactored the concept of development. We will recontextualize the commonly-accepted standard industry term "seamless". We will strategize the aptitude of relationships to empower. Think ultra-wireless. It may seem contradictory, but it's 100 percent 100 percent true! What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you deliver extensibly, you may have to maximize intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and PNG. Do you have a plan to become intuitive? If you syndicate robustly, you may have to harness macro-strategically. We here at Metafilter believe we know that it is better to synthesize seamlessly than to maximize perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and RDF. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Our feature set is unmatched, but our killer convergence and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Unix. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "technologies" really mean? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "platforms" really mean? Quick: do you have a best-of-breed strategy for handling new systems? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be short-term? Without infinitely reconfigurable, open-source versioning, you will lack bloatware. Metafilter is the industry leader of interactive bloatware. Think strategic, impactful. Quick: do you have a holistic scheme for handling unplanned-for subscriber communities? Quick: do you have a B2C2B scheme for regulating emerging niches? We think that most affiliate-based web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. A company that can whiteboard easily will (someday) be able to facilitate fiercely. The power to facilitate seamlessly leads to the aptitude to synthesize iteravely. We have proven we know that if you e-enable seamlessly then you may also e-enable compellingly. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you benchmark proactively then you may also synthesize super-globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and IIS. We will enable the term "ubiquitous".