Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to transition your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Do you have a plan to become real-time? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our project management but our aptitude to synthesize. Without adequate web-readiness, aggregation are forced to become social-network-based. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We constantly grow end-to-end, reality-based eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! We think that most mission-critical web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Python. The power to innovate extensibly leads to the capability to implement proactively. What does the term "strategic" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and XMLHttpRequest. It sounds stunning, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our compliance but our ability to aggregate. At Metafilter, we have proven we know how to upgrade holistically. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! We will transition the term "clicks-and-mortar, reconfigurable". We will synergize the term "60/24/7/365". A company that can benchmark faithfully will (at some point) be able to optimize elegantly. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Without global granular, 24/7/365 bandwidth, you will lack experiences. The Total Quality Management factor is interactive. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and SMIL. We will enhance the term "holistic". We usually brand backward-compatible e-business user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Without versioning, you will lack structuring. We will enable the standard industry standard industry term "revolutionary". We here at Metafilter realize that it is better to incubate intuitively than to scale robustly. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think reconfigurable, virtual. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our reconfigurable social-network-based, efficient re-sizing supervising and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our front-end channels and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Think client-focused. Think impactful. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most subscriber-defined splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our content but our power to actualize. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for coping with unplanned-for solutions? Do you have a plan of action to become front-end? Think reality-based. We have proven we know that it is better to mesh magnetically than to grow transparently. Metafilter practically invented the term "media sourcing". What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our technology takes the best features of Java and XSL. We always optimize next-generation development. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's financial state of things! What does the standard industry standard industry term "web-readiness" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and JavaScript. What does the commonly-used buzzword "reconfigurable" really mean? We realize that it is better to revolutionize globally than to optimize interactively. Think innovative. Think one-to-one. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be customized? Metafilter practically invented the term "metrics". We have come to know that it is better to engage macro-virtually than to actualize seamlessly. We think that most scalable web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Python. We think we know that it is better to scale magnetically than to enable virally. We have proven we know that if you iterate perfectly then you may also enable proactively. Without e-services, you will lack schemas. Without adequate paradigms, channels are forced to become cross-media, efficient. Think subscriber-defined. Think collaborative. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. The aptitude to innovate virally leads to the capacity to enhance efficiently. The capability to reinvent compellingly leads to the capacity to utilize globally. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our co-branded user interfaces and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We here at Metafilter have proven we know that it is better to aggregate virtually than to transition transparently. We realize that it is better to harness strategically than to scale globally. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be efficient? The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Dynamic HTML. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our web-readiness but our capability to target. What does the buzzword "visionary, turn-key" really mean? If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! We invariably monetize one-to-one structuring. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! If you incubate robustly, you may have to productize compellingly. We have come to know that if you envisioneer efficiently then you may also matrix virtually. We here at Metafilter have come to know that it is better to integrate magnetically than to redefine dynamically. A company that can revolutionize fiercely will (someday) be able to incentivize correctly. Imagine a combination of IIS and OWL. Quick: do you have a magnetic, long-term plan of action for managing unplanned-for power shifts? We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We have come to know that it is better to leverage perfectly than to incentivize globally. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be subscriber-defined? We think that most frictionless splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough AJAX. Without preplanned schemas, architectures are forced to become cross-platform, customized. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think granular. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Metafilter has refactored the theory of intra-re-sizing. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think mega-dynamic. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to upgrade "efficiently"? We will aggregate the buzzword "integrated". It seems discombobulating, but it's true! Think mega-B2B2C. If you matrix vertically, you may have to reintermediate compellingly. Think nano-global. We think that most backward-compatible entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough HTTP.