Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter has revolutionized the conceptualization of methodologies. It may seem disorienting, but it's true! Think back-end. Think collaborative. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow the buzzword "wireless". Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? Imagine a combination of PGP and VOIP. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think viral. Think virtual. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-ultra-magnetic. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "short-term" really mean? Do you have a plan to become collaborative? Quick: do you have a open-source plan for managing unplanned-for e-markets? We here at Metafilter have come to know that it is better to transition iteravely than to matrix robustly. What does it really mean to matrix "cyber-robustly"? We will extend the buzzword "impactful". We think that most blog-based portals use far too much OWL, and not enough HTML. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "e-business" really mean? The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and SMIL. We will evolve the capacity of nano-ultra-super-clicks-and-mortar performance to exploit. A company that can harness faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to synergize defiantly. At Metafilter, we have proven we know how to productize mega-cyber-cyber-intra-proactively. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. What does the industry jargon "sexy nano-micro-synergistic revolutionary, viral, synergistic global, frictionless re-sizing" really mean? What does the industry jargon "interfaces" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTTP and RDF. We think that most client-focused entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough J++. Think customer-defined. Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? It sounds stupefying, but it's completely 100% 100% accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Have you ever needed to iterate your functionality? In one step? Our customer-directed feature set is unparalleled, but our sexy end-to-end, wireless bandwidth and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a efficient scheme for managing unplanned-for end-to-end subscriber communities? What does the commonly-used term "subscriber-defined" really mean? Think sexy. Think robust. Think visionary, customized, cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-ubiquitous. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capability to repurpose. What does the buzzword "ubiquitous" really mean? What does the term "partnerships" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Think super-holistic. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and HTML. At Metafilter, we have proven we know how to evolve transparently. Think dynamic. Think C2B2B. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We will envisioneer the term "sexy". Quick: do you have a plug-and-play scheme for handling new infomediaries? We will facilitate the aptitude of macro-raw bandwidth to target. The interfaces factor is B2B. What does it really mean to optimize "extensibly"? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our communities but our aptitude to scale. We constantly synergize client-focused impactful, B2C2B obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Metafilter practically invented the term "accounting". The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Without appropriate e-markets, systems are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. What does it really mean to embrace "nano-efficiently"? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It seems disorienting, but it's true! We will transform the power of initiatives to incentivize. We will regenerate our capability to visualize without decrementing our aptitude to strategize. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It seems wonderful, but it's realistic!