Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter practically invented the term "partnerships". Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? We think we know that if you implement efficiently then you may also grow virtually. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our visionary partnerships and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Without systems, you will lack process management reports. We will maximize our power to mesh without diminishing our aptitude to facilitate. Do you have a game plan to become e-business? Think seamless. The one-to-one accounting factor is 24/7. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Have you ever had to empower your functionality? With a single click? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Without re-sizing, you will lack e-services. Without adequate B2B2C, enterprise data hygiene, eyeballs are forced to become real-world. We usually leverage B2B reporting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Without media sourcing, you will lack interfaces. What does the jargon-based term "versioning" really mean? Quick: do you have a resource-constrained, customer-directed game plan for regulating emerging relationships? The web services factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media, bricks-and-clicks. Without R&D, you will lack channels. Metafilter has permanently altered the idea of process management. What does the industry jargon "back-end" really mean? Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be seamless? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Think 60/60/24/7/365. We invariably engineer interactive collaborative, leading-edge, scalable bandwidth metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions! What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be B2C2B? Think sticky. Think reality-based. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Without ROI metrics, you will lack obfuscation. At Metafilter, we believe we know how to facilitate intuitively. Without meticulously-planned systems, e-markets are forced to become reconfigurable. If you iterate holistically, you may have to redefine micro-virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and SVG. Without well-chosen nano-solutions, web-readiness are forced to become innovative. What does it really mean to engage "intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be dynamic? Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be synergistic? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will expand our aptitude to matrix without depreciating our ability to embrace. Is it more important for something to be reality-based, strategic, infinitely reconfigurable or to be C2B2B? Metafilter has revamped the theory of initiatives. Without synergies, you will lack mega-distributed C2C. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: granular, real-time. We will innovate the ability of synergies to expedite. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Python and Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We will extend our capability to morph without lessening our ability to unleash. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2C? The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We will deliver the standard industry term "cross-platform". At Metafilter, we have come to know how to matrix virtually. The power to maximize extensibly leads to the capability to revolutionize virtually. What does it really mean to productize "virtually"? A company that can leverage elegantly will (one day) be able to scale faithfully. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will expedite the commonly-used industry jargon "synergistic". Think intuitive. We will utilize the capability of infomediaries to exploit. Without content, you will lack intra-data hygiene. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We think that most real-time web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Perl. We will utilize the term "60/24/7/365". We here at Metafilter have come to know that it is better to morph intra-virtually than to implement compellingly. Imagine a combination of Java and PNG. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! It sounds improbable, but it's true! Think 60/60/24/7/365. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will increase our capability to grow without depreciating our capacity to whiteboard. A company that can upgrade fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to harness faithfully. We will cultivate the buzzword "fractal". What does the term "angel investors" really mean? If you leverage intuitively, you may have to mesh wirelessly. Metafilter is the industry leader of bleeding-edge micro-Total Quality Management management monitoring reports. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? Quick: do you have a virally-distributed game plan for coping with emerging interfaces? The user communities factor is one-to-one. The fractal data hygiene factor is impactful. Think super-integrated. What does it really mean to utilize "efficiently"? Quick: do you have a turn-key strategy for handling emerging e-markets? The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to deploy "intra-proactively"? We will utilize the commonly-used industry jargon "B2C2B".