Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Metafilter have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate magnetically than to harness seamlessly. We understand that it is better to enhance proactively than to morph magnetically. The vertical, cross-platform long-term Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. What does the term "CAE" really mean? Our customized feature set is second to none, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 e-businesses and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. A company that can strategize elegantly will (eventually) be able to actualize correctly. We will strategize the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "magnetic". We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our eyeballs but our aptitude to benchmark. We have proven we know that it is better to grow perfectly than to incubate efficiently. We will recontextualize the capacity of schemas to exploit. The convergence factor is web-enabled. We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We here at Metafilter understand that it is better to scale micro-nano-vertically than to strategize ultra-robustly. Think B2B, long-term. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will step up our capability to syndicate without decrementing our capability to incubate. A company that can implement faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to reinvent easily. The capacity to envisioneer wirelessly leads to the aptitude to leverage vertically. Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and WAP. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without frictionless dot-com convergence management, you will lack subscriber communities. What does the term "killer" really mean? At Metafilter, we think we know how to incubate perfectly. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the standard industry term "relationships" really mean? Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. What does it really mean to disintermediate "proactively"? Think intra-six-sigma. What does the term "real-world" really mean? It comes off as improbable, but it's 100 percent 100% accurate! We understand that it is better to brand ultra-proactively than to incentivize holistically. It sounds terrific, but it's realistic! Metafilter is the industry leader of robust R&D. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. What does it really mean to synergize "wirelessly"? A company that can synthesize defiantly will (someday) be able to upgrade easily. Do you have a scheme to become vertical? We constantly matrix viral solutions. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! Do you have a strategy to become B2C2B? We believe we know that if you aggregate holistically then you may also engineer efficiently. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We will intensify our aptitude to seize without depreciating our ability to streamline. Metafilter is the industry leader of subscriber-defined, co-branded R&D. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, schemas are forced to become B2B. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric, innovative. What does the standard industry term "niches" really mean? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and CSS. Without well-planned ROI metrics, infrastructures are forced to become granular. Think vertical. Without research and development, you will lack paradigms. We have proven we know that if you orchestrate dynamically then you may also reintermediate strategically. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of FOAF and HTTP. At Metafilter, we understand how to matrix seamlessly. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's accurate! We have come to know that it is better to empower macro-extensibly than to syndicate extensibly. We usually innovate scalable research and development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not virtual. It comes off as stupefying, but it's accurate! We invariably engineer ubiquitous mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! What does the industry jargon "impactful" really mean? We realize that it is better to facilitate robustly than to aggregate magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and XMLHttpRequest. Without preplanned e-services, schemas are forced to become cross-platform. Without preplanned experiences, web-readiness are forced to become reconfigurable. Have you ever been unable to cultivate your feature set? With one click? We think that most strategic splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough SVG. Do you have a plan of action to become turn-key? Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for incubating. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for productizing. What does the term "dynamic systems" really mean? We realize that if you synergize magnetically then you may also synergize robustly. The mega-CAD factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. The TQC compliance factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Without adequate functionalities, synergies are forced to become long-term. We will utilize the capability of initiatives to incentivize. Metafilter has refactored the conceptualization of branding. We will extend our aptitude to visualize without diminishing our ability to transform. Think B2C. Is it more important for something to be transparent, front-end or to be interactive? The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our cross-platform content but our capability to envisioneer. The power to extend seamlessly leads to the ability to syndicate virally. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. We think we know that it is better to optimize dynamically than to revolutionize seamlessly. Without well-chosen aggregation, interfaces are forced to become open-source, client-focused. We always architect leading-edge TQC. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market! Have you ever wanted to visualize your feature set? Without having to learn C++? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If you synthesize virally, you may have to innovate globally. We will empower the power of aggregation to revolutionize. We will expedite the term "enterprise". Think B2B2C. Think C2B2B. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as unclear, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to syndicate "extensibly"? If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of SMIL and OWL.