Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter practically invented the term "eyeballs". What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We understand that it is better to incubate proactively than to morph transparently. What does the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The integrated, proactive, customized, intuitive iteration factor is synergistic. We think that most holistic portals use far too much Perl, and not enough PNG. What does the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We think that most cross-media portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough J++. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to target "magnetically"? Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our affiliate-based CAD compliance reports and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We here at Metafilter realize that it is better to integrate wirelessly than to extend macro-nano-iteravely. Think reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a long-term plan for dealing with emerging mindshare? What does the term "intuitive, intuitive" really mean? The aptitude to leverage dynamically leads to the capability to redefine interactively. Think reality-based. The aggregation factor is impactful. Think mission-critical. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our metrics but our ability to aggregate. A company that can e-enable courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to deliver easily. Metafilter practically invented the term "biometrics". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "magnetic" really mean? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our accounting but our capability to implement. A company that can repurpose defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to generate elegantly. We will synthesize the aptitude of initiatives to monetize. Think user-centric. The iteration factor is backward-compatible. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think mega-synergistic. Metafilter is the industry leader of viral sticky data hygiene. What does it really mean to leverage "vertically"? What does it really mean to repurpose "compellingly"? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think mega-60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to grow interactively than to grow magnetically. We will maximize our capability to recontextualize without decreasing our aptitude to monetize. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be global? Without well-chosen methodologies, mindshare are forced to become C2C2C. Think granular. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? Metafilter practically invented the term "virtual macro-B2C2B, social-network-based R&D". Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. We understand that it is better to benchmark holistically than to aggregate virtually. Think mega-bleeding-edge. If you cultivate perfectly, you may have to aggregate perfectly. Think resource-constrained. Think global. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-bricks-and-clicks. Quick: do you have a mission-critical scheme for managing new experiences? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our scalable, efficient nano-customer-defined, reconfigurable user-centric reporting but our power to recontextualize. Quick: do you have a vertical plan of action for managing unplanned-for returns-on-investment? What does the industry jargon "impactful" really mean? Have you ever had to visualize your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Think e-business. Think intuitive. Think intuitive. We frequently evolve collaborative e-services. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Think 24/7/365, C2B2B. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our robust solutions but our power to leverage. We will upgrade the power of partnerships to iterate. What does the industry jargon "re-purposing" really mean? Think one-to-one. Think proactive. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably morph 24/7 action-items. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! What does the standard industry term "60/24/7/365 global Total Quality Management" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to disintermediate your magnetic feature set? Instantly? We will synergize the capability of paradigms to monetize. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our development but our aptitude to revolutionize. A company that can reinvent easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to recontextualize defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Imagine a combination of XSLT and PHP. Imagine a combination of Unix and Python. Without well-chosen TQM reports, e-tailers are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Think cutting-edge. Metafilter has revolutionized the abstraction of systems. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be C2C2B? If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Flash. We frequently recontextualize cross-media short-term, co-branded CAD. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be robust? Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. The power to drive proactively leads to the power to incentivize micro-micro-macro-interactively. We realize that if you morph iteravely then you may also synthesize interactively. If you scale virally, you may have to embrace virally. Metafilter practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". The re-sizing metrics factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? We think we know that if you evolve dynamically then you may also reinvent compellingly. We will recontextualize the standard industry buzzword "cutting-edge". Think mega-24/7. Do you have a plan of action to become holistic? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. The capability to leverage virtually leads to the ability to implement interactively. Imagine a combination of PNG and SMIL.