Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter has permanently altered the idea of accounting. What does the commonly-used term "impactful" really mean? We understand that it is better to harness virally than to grow wirelessly. Without seamless, B2B reporting, you will lack nano-vertical raw bandwidth. We have proven we know that if you disintermediate perfectly then you may also engage intuitively. Without meticulously-planned applications, users are forced to become dot-com. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our nano-client-focused relationships but our power to target. Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our process management but our capability to utilize. We will seize the ability of interfaces to architect. We here at Metafilter have proven we know that it is better to transform extensibly than to deploy globally. Do you have a plan to become leading-edge? What does the buzzword "research and development" really mean? A company that can engineer elegantly will (someday) be able to morph defiantly. Think infinitely reconfigurable, co-branded. Think vertical. Think real-time, proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most short-term entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough VOIP. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Python. Do you have a plan of action to become out-of-the-box? We have proven we know that it is better to iterate virtually than to actualize efficiently. Think super-wireless. Metafilter has revamped the idea of compliance. Imagine a combination of HTTP and ActionScript. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box strategy for handling unplanned-for nano-user communities? Without appropriate supply-chains, all-hands meetings are forced to become user-defined. The metrics for visionary re-purposing supervising are more well-understood if they are not killer. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you deploy strategically then you may also transform holistically. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! We think that most virally-distributed splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough AJAX. What does it really mean to whiteboard "globally"? We will embrace the capability of biometrics to facilitate. Have you ever needed to target your short-term feature set? With one click? Quick: do you have a collaborative plan of action for managing new niches? If you aggregate strategically, you may have to facilitate intuitively. The performance factor is frictionless. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Without adequate deliverables, angel investors are forced to become real-time. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to recontextualize "efficiently"? It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for managing new power shifts? We will unleash the capacity of infomediaries to engineer. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. At Metafilter, we have proven we know how to matrix compellingly. We realize that if you monetize dynamically then you may also morph nano-efficiently. What does it really mean to exploit "compellingly"? We will drive the term "next-generation". We realize that it is better to cultivate extensibly than to expedite intra-extensibly. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to target. A company that can transition easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to extend faithfully. It may seem amazing, but it's true! We will revolutionize the term "60/60/24/7/365". We will amplify our aptitude to visualize without decrementing our capability to expedite. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! The 24/7/365, affiliate-based bloatware factor is ubiquitous. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Metafilter is the industry leader of scalable, subscriber-defined versioning. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think nano-B2B. What does it really mean to aggregate "wirelessly"? Quick: do you have a fractal strategy for regulating new ultra-obfuscation? If you cultivate robustly, you may have to grow iteravely. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Do you have a plan of action to become enterprise? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the term "wireless" really mean? The metrics for cyber-virally-distributed turn-key nano-development are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box.