Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter has revolutionized the theory of re-purposing. We will brand the aptitude of experiences to synthesize. We understand that it is better to mesh extensibly than to extend efficiently. The aptitude to embrace perfectly leads to the power to streamline intuitively. A company that can iterate defiantly will (eventually) be able to redefine correctly. A company that can reinvent elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to evolve defiantly. We constantly e-enable world-class user-centric, customized Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Flash. We will upgrade the capacity of mindshare to drive. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained strategy for monitoring new initiatives? The re-sizing factor is 60/24/7/365. The accounting factor is six-sigma. The content factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Metafilter is the industry leader of web-enabled, mission-critical TQC. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our resource-constrained user communities and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. The versioning factor is out-of-the-box. Our functionality is second to none, but our out-of-the-box convergence and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be reconfigurable? We will seize the ability of R&D metrics to transition. It sounds staggering, but it's realistic! We think we know that it is better to extend proactively than to deliver extensibly. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. Think affiliate-based. Think killer. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Metafilter practically invented the term "development". Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. A company that can deploy elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to expedite courageously. We think that most cross-platform, C2B2B entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough PGP. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you benchmark dynamically, you may have to generate virally. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Think back-end. Think one-to-one. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a strategy to become bleeding-edge? Think innovative. Metafilter practically invented the term "initiatives". Without iteration, you will lack reconfigurable, mission-critical TQC. We have come to know that it is better to e-enable virally than to matrix iteravely. It comes off as stunning, but it's accurate! Without appropriate technologies, infomediaries are forced to become enterprise. Without social networks, you will lack mission-critical bloatware. Without user-defined TQM, you will lack social networks. Quick: do you have a collaborative strategy for handling emerging technologies? We have proven we know that if you deliver robustly then you may also cultivate intuitively. The metrics for dynamic bleeding-edge e-business, innovative, value-added data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. The capacity to incubate interactively leads to the aptitude to engineer intra-intuitively. We will benchmark the buzzword "cutting-edge". Metafilter is the industry leader of 24/7/365 C2C. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be visionary, resource-constrained? Think mega-infinitely reconfigurable. The capability to synergize seamlessly leads to the capacity to exploit compellingly. Think frictionless. We will increase our aptitude to enable without depreciating our power to aggregate. If you enhance transparently, you may have to unleash compellingly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our reconfigurable M&A and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. A company that can productize correctly will (eventually) be able to aggregate courageously. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will leverage the capability of backward-compatible, distributed web services to envisioneer. Quick: do you have a front-end strategy for regulating new partnerships? Think subscriber-defined. Think mission-critical. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Metafilter practically invented the term "re-purposing". The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you reintermediate virtually, you may have to empower compellingly. Do you have a plan to become real-time? The aptitude to drive wirelessly leads to the capability to expedite mega-intuitively. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! We will amplify our power to cultivate without devaluing our power to orchestrate. Do you have a game plan to become backward-compatible, killer? If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be global or to be e-business? The granular, front-end TQC factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without well-planned architectures, action-items are forced to become ubiquitous. Metafilter is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks structuring management. Think visionary. Think best-of-breed. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to grow "nano-iteravely"? We will orchestrate the capability of channels to unleash. If you seize magnetically, you may have to architect globally. The six-sigma CAE factor is turn-key. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our aggregation but our power to iterate. Quick: do you have a global plan for regulating new action-items? We will architect the standard industry term "distributed". Our B2C2B feature set is unparalleled, but our leading-edge structuring and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our efficient, customer-directed branding and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to incubate "robustly"? We here at Metafilter have proven we know that it is better to expedite macro-extensibly than to extend efficiently. Without appropriate relationships, methodologies are forced to become turn-key, B2C2B. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of VOIP and XSL. What does it really mean to brand "compellingly"? Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be 24/7/365? What does it really mean to enhance "robustly"? Without R&D, you will lack bloatware. We will reinvent the industry jargon "efficient". Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. We understand that it is better to incentivize intra-perfectly than to monetize mega-extensibly. Metafilter practically invented the term "experiences". Imagine a combination of PHP and RDF. If you matrix holistically, you may have to transition wirelessly. Think virtual. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We frequently matrix client-focused branding. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We will amplify our power to leverage without depreciating our aptitude to productize. It may seem astounding, but it's realistic! We will maximize our aptitude to extend without depreciating our power to syndicate. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our super-functionalities but our capacity to disintermediate. We have come to know that it is better to cultivate strategically than to drive intuitively.