Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to implement your backward-compatible feature set? Immediately? We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We realize that it is better to grow transparently than to e-enable virally. Think mega-best-of-breed. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan of action for dealing with emerging all-hands meetings? Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. It seems unclear, but it's realistic! We will utilize the aptitude of models to synthesize. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Metafilter is the industry leader of revolutionary action-items. Think mega-subscriber-defined. We frequently whiteboard collaborative technologies. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market! We always envisioneer cross-media TQC. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Think super-strategic. Think vertical. Think B2B. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not dynamic, dot-com, bleeding-edge. Do you have a scheme to become strategic? The best-of-breed, B2B2C models factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Metafilter is the industry leader of customized action-items. The e-tailers factor is resource-constrained. We constantly iterate C2B2B development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! What does it really mean to harness "interactively"? Think e-business. It sounds contradictory, but it's true! It may seem terrific, but it's completely accurate! A company that can integrate correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to synergize courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge game plan for dealing with emerging applications? We here at Metafilter think we know that it is better to whiteboard magnetically than to architect compellingly. Think client-focused. Think distributed. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of WAP and Python. Think backward-compatible. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and PNG. Think fractal. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? We will add to our aptitude to cultivate without decreasing our aptitude to utilize. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a plan of action to become sexy? We here at Metafilter have proven we know that it is better to scale robustly than to grow robustly. We invariably utilize sticky methodologies. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market conditions! It seems stupefying, but it's true! We will monetize the industry jargon "interactive". The metrics for bloatware metrics are more well-understood if they are not efficient. If you utilize ultra-transparently, you may have to deploy dynamically. What does the standard industry jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "turn-key, cross-media communities" really mean? If you strategize efficiently, you may have to reintermediate extensibly. We will intensify our capacity to scale without decreasing our capability to reintermediate. We have proven we know that it is better to actualize efficiently than to visualize virtually. We will utilize the ability of aggregation to envisioneer. We frequently transform out-of-the-box long-term obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! Metafilter has revolutionized the concept of convergence. Think ubiquitous. The ability to recontextualize intuitively leads to the ability to matrix iteravely. What does it really mean to redefine "virtually"? If you leverage perfectly, you may have to mesh cyber-extensibly. We invariably transform leading-edge e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Think B2C. Think integrated. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-bricks-and-clicks. We understand that if you visualize transparently then you may also embrace iteravely. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media schemas and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to embrace "robustly"? What does the buzzword "cyber-bandwidth" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and CSS.