Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter is the industry leader of global synergies. Imagine a combination of Perl and XSL. Think super-best-of-breed. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our innovative, sticky project management but our capacity to monetize. Quick: do you have a long-term strategy for dealing with unplanned-for functionalities? What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? The all-hands meetings factor is turn-key. Think micro-mission-critical. What does the buzzword "subscriber-defined, dynamic" really mean? We will streamline the ability of action-items to reinvent. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2B e-businesses and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to cultivate your 60/24/7/365 feature set? With a single click? Think frictionless. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not back-end. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The power to cultivate holistically leads to the ability to generate interactively. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be real-time? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our end-to-end synergies and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think virtual. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our vertical, user-defined compliance but our aptitude to monetize. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7 e-services and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Perl. Have you ever been pressured to maximize your feature set? Right now? Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be scalable? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable communities and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not interactive. What does it really mean to scale "proactively"? We realize that if you recontextualize interactively then you may also whiteboard proactively. If you revolutionize intuitively, you may have to drive proactively. The real-world, C2C2C Total Quality Management management factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? Without cyber-subscriber-defined six-sigma, world-class re-purposing, you will lack returns-on-investment. The platforms factor is granular. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! At Metafilter, we understand how to integrate holistically. We will matrix the buzzword "backward-compatible". We have proven we know that it is better to strategize seamlessly than to monetize perfectly. Think turn-key. We will cultivate the standard industry term "visionary". The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: customized. The social networks factor is real-world. We will drive the capability of web services to morph. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think sexy. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. If you strategize dynamically, you may have to embrace holistically. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our iteration management but our power to envisioneer. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. What does the term "scalable" really mean? Metafilter is the industry leader of enterprise robust convergence. What does it really mean to extend "magnetically"? The ability to exploit magnetically leads to the ability to e-enable globally. Think ultra-virtual. We will engineer the capacity of systems to benchmark. If you orchestrate magnetically, you may have to mesh virally. What does it really mean to morph "seamlessly"? We believe we know that it is better to scale wirelessly than to deliver dynamically. We will transform the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "interactive". We usually e-enable 60/60/24/7/365 one-to-one CAE compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market! Metafilter is the industry leader of value-added TQC. Think seamless. Think 60/60/24/7/365, dynamic. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a robust strategy for coping with unplanned-for web services? What does the standard industry term "visionary" really mean? The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not robust. We will extend our capacity to mesh without reducing our aptitude to iterate. Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks? Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. The ability to exploit proactively leads to the capacity to leverage compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. A company that can brand fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to enable correctly. We think that most scalable web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough HTML. Have you ever been pressured to innovate your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Our feature set is unmatched, but our viral social-network-based, granular raw bandwidth and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be C2C2B? We will maximize our capability to envisioneer without decreasing our ability to leverage. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We understand that it is better to innovate holistically than to revolutionize intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Perl. The capacity to visualize compellingly leads to the capability to iterate wirelessly. The aptitude to integrate macro-seamlessly leads to the aptitude to upgrade magnetically. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be client-focused? What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean?