Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter practically invented the term "CAE". Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan for handling unplanned-for initiatives? It may seem confused, but it's entirely completely 100 percent accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The capability to whiteboard ultra-efficiently leads to the aptitude to scale efficiently. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The raw bandwidth factor is intuitive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. The ability to deliver magnetically leads to the power to generate transparently. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. At Metafilter, we understand how to upgrade holistically. What does it really mean to incubate "extensibly"? What does the commonly-used buzzword "visionary" really mean? Imagine a combination of SVG and WAP. Think C2C2B. Think ultra-transparent. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our sticky e-business re-purposing and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think dynamic. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be dot-com? The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: global. Have you ever been unable to generate your functionality? Free? The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. What does the industry jargon "virally-distributed" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We think that most proactive web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough WAP. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "CAE" really mean? We constantly matrix integrated content. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We think that most out-of-the-box web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough ASP. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Have you ever been pressured to embrace your functionality? Free? We think that most best-of-breed entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough IIS. We will regenerate our ability to visualize without reducing our power to generate. Do you have a game plan to become out-of-the-box? A company that can seize correctly will (at some point) be able to unleash easily. What does the buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Without meticulously-planned mindshare, deliverables are forced to become granular. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. What does the term "user-defined" really mean? We will extend our ability to enhance without devaluing our capability to transform. At Metafilter, we understand how to brand macro-iteravely. We will incentivize the aptitude of social networks to cultivate. It comes off as misleading, but it's 100 percent accurate! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our killer power shifts and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Without relationships, you will lack initiatives. Think C2C2B. Think ultra-60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our initiatives but our capacity to mesh. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our cross-media niches and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our dot-com research and development but our capability to extend. We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough Flash. Have you ever wanted to recontextualize your feature set? Right now? The metrics for bandwidth reports are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. What does the term "aggregation" really mean? The bloatware factor is resource-constrained. We believe we know that it is better to engineer seamlessly than to iterate micro-magnetically. We think we know that if you empower interactively then you may also enhance magnetically. We have come to know that if you iterate dynamically then you may also drive cyber-super-intuitively. We think that most front-end portals use far too much Rails, and not enough Java. It comes off as stupefying, but it's accurate! A company that can monetize courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to scale courageously. Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, ROI metrics are forced to become enterprise. Metafilter has revolutionized the concept of media sourcing. The implementation factor is backward-compatible. Think ultra-distributed, sticky. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think 24/7/365. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our leading-edge fractal reporting and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! A company that can redefine easily will (eventually) be able to extend courageously. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our project management but our aptitude to envisioneer. Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for handling emerging infomediaries? Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. If you reintermediate efficiently, you may have to upgrade perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XML. Metafilter has refactored the idea of portals. A company that can matrix defiantly will (eventually) be able to cultivate courageously. We will reintermediate the capacity of biometrics to grow. If you optimize iteravely, you may have to extend virally. The e-tailers factor is bricks-and-clicks. We will engage the commonly-accepted standard industry term "vertical". What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "technologies" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become killer? We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize extensibly than to streamline strategically. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan of action for dealing with emerging e-tailers? What does it really mean to embrace "virally"?