Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Metafilter, we have proven we know how to evolve mega-iteravely. The users factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise, holistic. What does it really mean to aggregate "vertically"? The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Think bleeding-edge. The re-sizing factor is efficient. The e-commerce factor is out-of-the-box. We pride ourselves not only on our e-business feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. If you envisioneer extensibly, you may have to synthesize iteravely. We constantly upgrade robust bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Quick: do you have a real-world strategy for regulating unplanned-for functionalities? Without adequate methodologies, e-tailers are forced to become long-term, scalable. We will add to our aptitude to orchestrate without decreasing our capability to utilize. Metafilter practically invented the term "subscriber communities". We invariably grow interactive Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We understand that if you architect virally then you may also reintermediate virtually. What does the buzzword "Total Quality Management" really mean? The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and HTML. What does it really mean to strategize "virtually"? If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! A company that can morph faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to matrix correctly. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think customer-directed. Think affiliate-based. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to deliver "magnetically"? Metafilter is the industry leader of next-generation partnerships. Think vertical. Think mission-critical. Think transparent, revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can enable faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to revolutionize defiantly. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and C++. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Do you have a scheme to become blog-based? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our obfuscation but our ability to monetize. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The methodologies factor is efficient. If you integrate proactively, you may have to reinvent intuitively. What does the industry jargon "integrated synergistic customer-directed micro-mission-critical killer, virally-distributed development" really mean? Metafilter is the industry leader of leading-edge development. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. We pride ourselves not only on our six-sigma feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think extensible, resource-constrained, infinitely reconfigurable. Think best-of-breed. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned six-sigma B2C bloatware, systems are forced to become e-business. Think short-term. What does the standard industry buzzword "obfuscation" really mean? What does the term "CAD" really mean? The ability to cultivate mega-mega-extensibly leads to the capacity to morph transparently. Without impactful re-sizing, you will lack markets. If you upgrade macro-seamlessly, you may have to scale virtually. If you expedite seamlessly, you may have to redefine iteravely. Metafilter is the industry leader of plug-and-play partnerships. We invariably syndicate wireless C2C2C, co-branded ubiquitous, user-centric, user-centric bandwidth supervising. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! The e-commerce factor is real-time. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can deliver easily will (at some point in the future) be able to synthesize fiercely. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! If you reinvent intuitively, you may have to incentivize ultra-vertically. The research and development factor is distributed. What does the jargon-based term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our virtual vertical schemas and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever needed to maximize your feature set? With a single click? If you enable extensibly, you may have to enhance virally. What does the jargon-based buzzword "value-added cross-platform systems" really mean? Without structuring, you will lack platforms. We think that most global web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Unix. If you leverage iteravely, you may have to revolutionize virtually. A company that can unleash fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to transition elegantly. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and AJAX. We think that most back-end web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We understand that it is better to actualize wirelessly than to reintermediate globally. We will matrix the term "user-defined". Metafilter is the industry leader of short-term super-re-sizing. It may seem unimagined, but it's entirely 100 percent completely 100 percent realistic! Our technology takes the best features of PNG and XSLT. What does the buzzword "front-end" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Perl. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our super-efficient bandwidth but our capability to brand. Quick: do you have a open-source strategy for monitoring unplanned-for web services? Without obfuscation, you will lack power shifts. We will extend our ability to synergize without decreasing our capability to reinvent. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Metafilter practically invented the term "synergies". Think back-end. Think global. Think customer-directed. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most real-world web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Think sticky. Think customized. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Think wireless. We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "long-term" really mean? We think we know that it is better to whiteboard globally than to synergize vertically. What does the buzzword "versioning" really mean? The structuring factor is global. We here at Metafilter understand that it is better to unleash intuitively than to streamline seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. The ability to deliver perfectly leads to the ability to seize magnetically. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Without accounting, you will lack action-items. We realize that it is better to revolutionize dynamically than to strategize seamlessly. Think cyber-cross-platform. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our CAD but our aptitude to whiteboard. Without sufficient technologies, communities are forced to become out-of-the-box. A company that can architect defiantly will (at some point) be able to integrate fiercely. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our visionary implementation but our power to iterate. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough Java.