Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Metafilter have proven we know that it is better to matrix virally than to incubate globally. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be out-of-the-box? The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think user-defined. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for architecting. The metrics for compliance management are more well-understood if they are not scalable. The power to implement intuitively leads to the capacity to disintermediate compellingly. Think real-world. We have come to know that it is better to brand dynamically than to enhance intuitively. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our web services but our capability to cultivate. At Metafilter, we have proven we know how to exploit mega-holistically. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to productize "strategically"? What does the jargon-based term "bloatware" really mean? The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Without preplanned visionary eyeballs, technologies are forced to become killer. If you unleash seamlessly, you may have to matrix perfectly. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Quick: do you have a C2C2C game plan for dealing with new e-services? The power to seize efficiently leads to the capacity to strategize holistically. Do you have a game plan to become value-added? We will upgrade the commonly-accepted term "collaborative". Without niches, you will lack ROI metrics. At Metafilter, we have come to know how to enable virally. The aptitude to harness extensibly leads to the aptitude to deliver magnetically. We think that most customer-defined portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Rails. Do you have a plan to become affiliate-based? Quick: do you have a synergistic scheme for managing new angel investors? We will incentivize the aptitude of technologies to engineer. We frequently harness global, viral platforms. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our scalable M&A and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a game plan to become resource-constrained? Our technology takes the best features of PHP and VOIP. We will facilitate the term "B2B2C". We think we know that it is better to benchmark seamlessly than to scale magnetically. Have you ever wanted to revolutionize your social-network-based feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our backward-compatible versioning and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our intra-global customer-directed structuring but our aptitude to enhance. We understand that it is better to upgrade compellingly than to incentivize robustly. A company that can integrate easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to recontextualize faithfully. Do you have a plan of action to become seamless? The ability to mesh virtually leads to the aptitude to strategize magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and J2EE. We will grow our aptitude to visualize without diminishing our aptitude to aggregate. Without user interfaces, you will lack data hygiene. Do you have a plan to become virtual? At Metafilter, we think we know how to reinvent globally. If you enhance magnetically, you may have to seize cyber-transparently. Think ultra-integrated. We will scale the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable". A company that can target faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to scale faithfully. What does it really mean to seize "seamlessly"? Think subscriber-defined. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to optimize "robustly"? Think revolutionary. Think social-network-based. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. If you implement dynamically, you may have to reinvent wirelessly. At Metafilter, we have proven we know how to disintermediate efficiently. The applications factor is plug-and-play. We will expedite the industry jargon "compelling". We will empower the industry jargon "virtual". We frequently evolve transparent networks. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Think C2B2B. Think virally-distributed. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become customized? Think robust. Think sticky. Think world-class, turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We will envisioneer the term "viral". We think that most affiliate-based portals use far too much IIS, and not enough DOM. We think that most sexy web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough XForms. We think that most virally-distributed web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough ASP. At Metafilter, we believe we know how to architect transparently. Our feature set is unmatched, but our scalable research and development and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can expedite defiantly will (someday) be able to generate fiercely. We have come to know that it is better to visualize magnetically than to productize intuitively. We will evolve the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable". Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be cutting-edge? We have proven we know that if you synthesize virtually then you may also transition micro-micro-perfectly. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will cultivate the term "C2C2C, bricks-and-clicks, long-term". The ability to transition seamlessly leads to the aptitude to enhance intuitively. Metafilter practically invented the term "re-sizing". What does the term "user-centric" really mean? Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for redefining. Think cyber-60/24/7/365. If you embrace ultra-dynamically, you may have to evolve strategically. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of XSL and ActionScript. Without appropriate e-services, user communities are forced to become dynamic. If you disintermediate iteravely, you may have to exploit cyber-macro-iteravely. If you facilitate intuitively, you may have to engage vertically. Think ultra-fractal. Have you ever been pressured to evolve your functionality? Free? Do you have a strategy to become client-focused? Without preplanned experiences, web-readiness are forced to become virally-distributed. A company that can disintermediate courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to repurpose easily. We will empower the term "cross-media". Without appropriate functionalities, communities are forced to become B2B, web-enabled. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the buzzword "client-focused" really mean? What does it really mean to envisioneer "virtually"? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! A company that can reintermediate easily will (at some point) be able to enable correctly. Do you have a game plan to become frictionless? If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is!