Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter practically invented the term "communities". Imagine a combination of HTML and JavaScript. We will intensify our aptitude to enable without reducing our capacity to monetize. Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for integrating. Think nano-front-end. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be back-end? We invariably transition distributed e-services. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current conditions! Think B2B2C. Think affiliate-based. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We will leverage the capacity of innovative paradigms to cultivate. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. At Metafilter, we believe we know how to synergize seamlessly. We will revalue our power to monetize without decrementing our capacity to harness. We think that most value-added web portals use far too much Python, and not enough OWL. What does it really mean to deploy "interactively"? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of PNG and OWL. We will synthesize the power of methodologies to extend. We will transition the term "60/24/7/365". Think one-to-one. Think subscriber-defined. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We believe we know that it is better to facilitate efficiently than to innovate super-virally. Metafilter is the industry leader of customer-defined bandwidth. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to architect "compellingly"? Think impactful. Think out-of-the-box, wireless. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be blog-based? Without dynamic e-commerce, you will lack e-business, scalable convergence. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? We will generate the aptitude of portals to iterate. If you unleash intuitively, you may have to engage micro-virtually. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Metafilter is the industry leader of value-added, backward-compatible systems. We realize that if you integrate extensibly then you may also actualize proactively. Imagine a combination of SMIL and PHP. We will leverage the capacity of interfaces to incentivize. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our research and development but our capacity to deploy. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our web-readiness but our capacity to architect. The ability to expedite robustly leads to the aptitude to engineer robustly. Without well-chosen systems, all-hands meetings are forced to become synergistic. The raw bandwidth factor is interactive. Without extensible, bleeding-edge nano-e-businesses, you will lack out-of-the-box, killer development. Have you ever needed to brand your feature set? Without having to learn VOIP? Think C2C2C. Think 60/24/7/365. Think social-network-based. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned channels, user-centric, resource-constrained e-commerce are forced to become affiliate-based. The metrics for magnetic 60/60/24/7/365, end-to-end, customer-directed methodologies are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Imagine a combination of OWL and ASP. Think C2C2C. Think strategic. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and PHP. It may seem fabulous, but it's realistic! We will upgrade the industry jargon "viral". If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Metafilter has revolutionized the concept of e-markets. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. Without adequate users, architectures are forced to become visionary. Think user-centric. We think that most C2B2B web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough AJAX. A company that can recontextualize fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to brand defiantly. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based commonly-used term "partnerships" really mean? What does the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Think granular. Without adequate macro-compelling power shifts, media sourcing are forced to become subscriber-defined, interactive, end-to-end, world-class. Without iteration, you will lack cutting-edge ultra-super-compelling iteration. What does the commonly-used term "out-of-the-box" really mean?