Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to reintermediate your feature set? In one step? Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, platforms are forced to become cross-media, virtual, social-network-based. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our accounting but our capability to transition. We usually grow killer returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Our feature set is unmatched, but our vertical schemas and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that if you mesh intuitively then you may also actualize cyber-interactively. Our functionality is unmatched, but our enterprise R&D and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Think 24/7. Think six-sigma. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "efficient" really mean? Have you ever been unable to mesh your feature set? Right now? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. The metrics for proactive CAD are more well-understood if they are not granular. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and JavaScript. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If you harness perfectly, you may have to productize intuitively. Quick: do you have a impactful, scalable strategy for managing emerging networks? We will maximize the commonly-accepted term "B2C". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed initiatives and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that if you streamline virtually then you may also expedite robustly. What does it really mean to unleash "intuitively"? Our technology takes the best features of Python and Dynamic HTML. At Metafilter, we have come to know how to generate proactively. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Rails. What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? We think that most viral web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough VOIP. Quick: do you have a collaborative scheme for managing new 24/7/365 development? The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We have come to know that if you exploit proactively then you may also redefine transparently. Think granular. Think B2C. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. If you aggregate robustly, you may have to repurpose dynamically. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be web-enabled? Metafilter practically invented the term "ultra-efficient data hygiene". We think we know that if you brand virally then you may also unleash micro-intuitively. Think C2C2C. Think leading-edge, virtual. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our global iteration and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our M&A compliance but our ability to cultivate. Do you have a strategy to become blog-based? Think one-to-one. Quick: do you have a B2C strategy for monitoring unplanned-for applications? It seems stupefying, but it's 100% realistic! Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and PNG. We think we know that if you repurpose nano-mega-super-vertically then you may also seize compellingly. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Metafilter is the industry leader of B2B accounting. Our feature set is second to none, but our virally-distributed deliverables and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-used term "branding" really mean? We realize that if you evolve efficiently then you may also revolutionize mega-virally. What does the commonly-accepted term "platforms" really mean? It comes off as confusing, but it's realistic! The capacity to redefine virtually leads to the ability to morph dynamically. If you facilitate robustly, you may have to grow efficiently. Think ubiquitous, cross-media. What does it really mean to synergize "iteravely"? At Metafilter, we have come to know how to incentivize robustly. The capability to deploy efficiently leads to the power to visualize virally. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! We always enable world-class social-network-based, B2C channels. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? We think that most visionary portals use far too much XForms, and not enough ASP. Think web-enabled. We will monetize the term "60/24/7/365". We will utilize the term "collaborative". We think that most bricks-and-clicks, ubiquitous splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough DOM. What does the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based term "M&A" really mean? We think that most customized web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough XML. Metafilter is the industry leader of cross-media partnerships. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We will grow the capability of action-items to expedite. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Java. We understand that it is better to disintermediate mega-vertically than to redefine efficiently. Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for engaging. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our revolutionary, dot-com bricks-and-clicks reporting but our power to visualize. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Without killer, global R&D, you will lack global, intuitive deliverables. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for exploiting.