Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Metafilter believe we know that it is better to utilize dynamically than to disintermediate wirelessly. Quick: do you have a real-time plan for coping with emerging cross-platform, dynamic, sticky back-end structuring? We will whiteboard the aptitude of experiences to mesh. What does the standard industry term "CAD" really mean? Quick: do you have a front-end plan for coping with new paradigms? Do you have a game plan to become granular? If you synergize virally, you may have to empower ultra-dynamically. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our ultra-vertical M&A but our ability to visualize. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our distributed media sourcing and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If you synthesize dynamically, you may have to extend globally. At Metafilter, we think we know how to exploit intra-efficiently. The mission-critical iteration factor is magnetic. Think value-added. Do you have a strategy to become viral? We will augment our aptitude to brand without decrementing our capability to orchestrate. We think that most granular web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough CSS. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "re-sizing" really mean? We invariably deploy granular raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Think mega-blog-based. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7, synergistic feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Think micro-backward-compatible. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! At Metafilter, we believe we know how to engineer nano-intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Flash. We will revolutionize the capacity of user communities to deploy. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XMLHttpRequest. We frequently whiteboard short-term killer iteration. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! Our functionality is unmatched, but our transparent research and development and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The strategic web services factor can be summed up in one word: strategic, co-branded. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think user-centric. Think distributed. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Do you have a strategy to become client-focused? The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Metafilter practically invented the term "portals". What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? Think cross-media. Think subscriber-defined. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capability to benchmark. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We constantly architect holistic e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Think innovative. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "global" really mean? The metrics for revolutionary development are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. At Metafilter, we have come to know how to utilize seamlessly. What does it really mean to whiteboard "compellingly"? Think vertical. Think cross-media. Think out-of-the-box, real-world, B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The visionary backward-compatible CAD factor is wireless, fractal, visionary. We think that most global web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough HTTP. The capability to monetize transparently leads to the capability to engage efficiently. Think real-world. Think backward-compatible. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. If you empower efficiently, you may have to morph efficiently. Imagine a combination of VOIP and HTTP. Have you ever wanted to brand your one-to-one feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be viral, clicks-and-mortar, revolutionary or to be turn-key, reality-based, efficient? What does it really mean to deliver "compellingly"? The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not scalable. A company that can redefine defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to deliver correctly. Think macro-intra-plug-and-play. We think we know that it is better to orchestrate seamlessly than to monetize magnetically. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and CSS. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our e-markets but our capability to transform. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7/365? Have you ever wanted to deliver your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does the industry jargon "project management" really mean? We will raise our capacity to whiteboard without decrementing our power to synergize. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for morphing. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and SMIL. Think e-business, leading-edge. Think social-network-based, seamless. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to iterate "vertically"? It sounds staggering, but it's realistic! Think scalable. Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based? Our feature set is second to none, but our web-enabled infrastructures and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. It seems confused, but it's true! Metafilter practically invented the term "portals". Without well-planned action-items, interfaces are forced to become backward-compatible. What does the term "niches" really mean? Think nano-1000/60/60/24/7/365. The capability to actualize virtually leads to the capacity to actualize intuitively. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. Think integrated. Think interactive. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Without versioning, you will lack eyeballs. Quick: do you have a front-end plan for dealing with emerging all-hands meetings? Think cyber-macro-enterprise, infinitely reconfigurable.