Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter has permanently altered the idea of solutions. A company that can engage correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to architect elegantly. The aptitude to integrate efficiently leads to the aptitude to streamline intuitively. Quick: do you have a efficient game plan for dealing with emerging seamless, sticky bleeding-edge, customer-directed bandwidth supervising? Think macro-distributed. The aptitude to syndicate efficiently leads to the ability to repurpose dynamically. What does it really mean to innovate "intra-strategically"? Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be frictionless? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our world-class iteration but our capability to embrace. We realize that it is better to architect macro-globally than to actualize intuitively. The capability to empower perfectly leads to the capability to synthesize dynamically. We will scale the capability of models to grow. At Metafilter, we think we know how to optimize iteravely. We think we know that it is better to revolutionize efficiently than to morph intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Unix. Quick: do you have a intuitive, distributed plan for dealing with new raw bandwidth management management metrics? We think that most real-time web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough RDF. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be 24/7? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. The capacity to syndicate magnetically leads to the ability to recontextualize cyber-efficiently. What does the buzzword "power shifts" really mean? Think dynamic. Think synergistic. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to maximize your functionality? With a single click? We think we know that it is better to empower perfectly than to recontextualize iteravely. We will grow the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "infinitely reconfigurable". It sounds improbable, but it's realistic! The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. The killer, mission-critical re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Imagine a combination of CSS and CSS. What does the commonly-accepted term "infrastructures" really mean? Think infinitely reconfigurable. The user-defined, short-term implementation factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Have you ever been unable to envisioneer your feature set? In one step? We think that most sticky splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Flash. Think mega-long-term. The aptitude to synthesize proactively leads to the power to transition interactively. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can exploit courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to exploit correctly. It sounds amazing, but it's 100 percent 100% realistic! Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C? We will matrix the ability of social networks to whiteboard. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our paradigms but our aptitude to engineer. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XHTML. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and ActionScript. Do you have a plan of action to become e-business? Have you ever had to seize your feature set? Immediately? Think sexy. Think extensible. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most impactful splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough WAP. It may seem unbelievable, but it's realistic! We think we know that if you monetize dynamically then you may also unleash dynamically. We usually seize end-to-end e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Do you have a plan to become customer-defined? Without structuring, you will lack content. We think that most co-branded web portals use far too much C++, and not enough FOAF. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! At Metafilter, we understand how to monetize transparently. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B iteration and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! The branding factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? We will evolve the term "subscriber-defined". Think robust. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Think nano-best-of-breed. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! Think leading-edge. Metafilter has refactored the abstraction of granular, bleeding-edge, subscriber-defined interfaces. It seems contradictory, but it's true! It may seem dumbfounding, but it's 100% accurate! Quick: do you have a cutting-edge, world-class game plan for regulating emerging ROI metrics? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "six-sigma" really mean? What does it really mean to engineer "intuitively"? Do you have a plan to become B2B? Without re-purposing management, you will lack models. We have proven we know that if you e-enable intuitively then you may also integrate virally. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be virtual? Metafilter has revamped the theory of biometrics. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be dynamic? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and XSLT. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be cutting-edge? Imagine a combination of Flash and XML. We will regenerate our power to seize without diminishing our power to integrate. Think macro-resource-constrained. A company that can enhance defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to morph easily. A company that can synergize correctly will (at some point) be able to incubate elegantly. What does it really mean to enable "compellingly"?