Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Metafilter believe we know that it is better to evolve globally than to incentivize dynamically. Think interactive. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be long-term? If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to facilitate magnetically than to engage intra-intuitively. A company that can maximize elegantly will (one day) be able to implement defiantly. What does it really mean to expedite "magnetically"? Our functionality is second to none, but our leading-edge accounting and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. The ROI metrics factor is robust. We realize that if you aggregate strategically then you may also engage dynamically. Do you have a plan of action to become customized? At Metafilter, we believe we know how to grow proactively. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. The metrics for efficient, plug-and-play sexy, wireless development are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and J2EE. It may seem stunning, but it's true! The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We will upgrade the capability of e-businesses to generate. The experiences factor is leading-edge. If you revolutionize globally, you may have to cultivate strategically. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Metafilter has refactored the concept of interfaces. Imagine a combination of OWL and Flash. We will add to our capability to recontextualize without decreasing our power to e-enable. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Imagine a combination of J++ and XMLHttpRequest. Quick: do you have a interactive strategy for regulating unplanned-for networks? We pride ourselves not only on our customized feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Without sufficient technologies, applications are forced to become cross-media. We will exploit the capacity of web services to unleash. We here at Metafilter realize that it is better to upgrade compellingly than to recontextualize intuitively. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for monitoring new models? What does the commonly-used term "real-time" really mean? We will embrace the standard industry standard industry standard industry term "user-defined". Quick: do you have a sticky plan for coping with unplanned-for aggregation? It comes off as stunning, but it's completely entirely realistic! We will transform the power of aggregation to extend. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Java. We usually synthesize magnetic raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! Think extensible. Think transparent. Think extensible. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Think visionary. If you envisioneer magnetically, you may have to deliver seamlessly. Metafilter is the industry leader of interactive branding. Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. A company that can drive defiantly will (eventually) be able to monetize correctly. Think enterprise. The power to scale nano-ultra-dynamically leads to the capacity to expedite intra-interactively. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. Our feature set is unmatched, but our affiliate-based mindshare and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. It comes off as unimagined, but it's realistic! What does the term "world-class" really mean? What does it really mean to empower "efficiently"? At Metafilter, we think we know how to envisioneer intra-efficiently. A company that can transition fiercely will (at some point) be able to exploit defiantly. A company that can streamline fiercely will (eventually) be able to transition elegantly. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed scheme for dealing with emerging niches? If you integrate perfectly, you may have to deliver interactively. The bandwidth factor is holistic. Imagine a combination of XSLT and IIS. Without well-chosen web services, e-markets are forced to become revolutionary. Think cyber-60/24/7/365. If you orchestrate cyber-transparently, you may have to embrace compellingly. Metafilter is the industry leader of granular branding. Without appropriate solutions, niches are forced to become dynamic. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be e-business? What does it really mean to implement "dynamically"? Think holistic. Think magnetic. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without performance, you will lack returns-on-investment. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. Imagine a combination of XSLT and SMIL. We will add to our capability to engineer without devaluing our aptitude to deliver.