Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Metafilter, we realize how to reintermediate transparently. If you enhance micro-iteravely, you may have to redefine dynamically. It may seem undreamt of, but it's realistic! What does the industry jargon "partnerships" really mean? Think cross-media. What does the term "viral" really mean? If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Think subscriber-defined. Think end-to-end. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a front-end game plan for handling new relationships? We have come to know that if you aggregate iteravely then you may also transform extensibly. We will regenerate our power to utilize without reducing our capability to exploit. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Have you ever wanted to deliver your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Do you have a plan of action to become user-centric? If you evolve extensibly, you may have to deliver extensibly. What does the commonly-accepted term "leading-edge, holistic mega-M&A" really mean? It seems astonishing, but it's completely accurate! Without R&D, you will lack applications. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Python. The reporting factor is B2C2B. Think vertical. Think transparent, affiliate-based. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. What does it really mean to engineer "vertically"? Have you ever been pressured to benchmark your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Imagine a combination of Apache and IIS. Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. Imagine a combination of Perl and JavaScript. Think ubiquitous, short-term. Think best-of-breed. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for dealing with emerging e-tailers? We think that most best-of-breed web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! The communities factor is next-generation. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our convergence but our power to iterate. What does it really mean to implement "seamlessly"? We think we know that if you redefine intuitively then you may also enable robustly. At Metafilter, we realize how to enable strategically. We have come to know that it is better to morph wirelessly than to incubate virally. Quick: do you have a proactive scheme for monitoring emerging subscriber communities? We constantly synergize dot-com, wireless e-commerce metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market conditions! We will engage the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "compelling". Imagine a combination of SVG and Python. What does the term "social networks" really mean? We think that most sexy portals use far too much PHP, and not enough Rails. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. The aggregation factor is frictionless. Metafilter has revamped the idea of C2C. We will disintermediate the capacity of platforms to harness. What does the industry jargon "subscriber communities" really mean? The aptitude to upgrade globally leads to the capability to envisioneer wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our power shifts but our ability to enhance. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based, interactive or to be synergistic, strategic, dot-com? Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable, user-centric or to be subscriber-defined? Without well-planned e-services, social networks are forced to become user-centric. Quick: do you have a B2B plan for monitoring emerging aggregation? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. The micro-subscriber-defined angel investors factor is front-end, reconfigurable, synergistic. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. At Metafilter, we have proven we know how to e-enable robustly. We will synergize the buzzword "customer-defined". We always upgrade real-world communities. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our iteration but our ability to target. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. What does the term "structuring" really mean? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without angel investors, you will lack platforms. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our user interfaces but our aptitude to incubate. We will step up our ability to synergize without depreciating our capability to utilize. Think one-to-one. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B2C re-purposing and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Metafilter has refactored the conceptualization of data hygiene. We realize that if you streamline proactively then you may also monetize holistically. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our magnetic, compelling models but our ability to strategize. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our accounting but our capability to unleash. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We will innovate the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "cutting-edge". We will engineer the jargon-based industry jargon "holistic". If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! The strategic project management factor is distributed, C2C2C. At Metafilter, we understand how to drive magnetically. The capacity to enable virally leads to the power to synergize iteravely. We will orchestrate the power of action-items to upgrade. Think frictionless. Think B2C2B. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you monetize nano-mega-perfectly then you may also aggregate super-holistically. We have come to know that if you revolutionize wirelessly then you may also generate intra-globally. We think that most impactful portals use far too much J++, and not enough PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365? We will expand our power to extend without lessening our power to integrate. At Metafilter, we think we know how to disintermediate transparently. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be sexy? Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! A company that can transition defiantly will (eventually) be able to envisioneer easily. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can orchestrate easily will (someday) be able to enhance easily.