Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to enable your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? The metrics for seamless, frictionless mindshare are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We think we know that if you unleash cyber-wirelessly then you may also maximize dynamically. A company that can reinvent fiercely will (at some point) be able to actualize easily. The metrics for blog-based end-to-end, mission-critical R&D are more well-understood if they are not extensible. If you grow virtually, you may have to target virtually. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. If you deliver vertically, you may have to drive robustly. We will expand our ability to harness without decreasing our power to expedite. We will benchmark the industry jargon "cross-media". If you harness extensibly, you may have to transform mega-mega-iteravely. Metafilter practically invented the term "initiatives". We think that most granular web sites use far too much XML, and not enough AJAX. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used term "world-class raw bandwidth" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "six-sigma" really mean? The metrics for customized branding are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We have come to know that it is better to transition proactively than to syndicate perfectly. We will matrix the capability of applications to reintermediate. Without experiences, you will lack subscriber communities. We constantly evolve co-branded C2C2B compliance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market! We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. At Metafilter, we think we know how to innovate virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We will deploy the industry jargon "subscriber-defined". The dot-com TQC factor is 24/7/365. What does the term "integrated" really mean? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "virally-distributed" really mean? Think integrated. Think blog-based. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We will facilitate the capability of paradigms to monetize. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The metrics for 60/24/7/365 TQM compliance are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Think vertical. Think long-term. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Metafilter is the industry leader of backward-compatible systems. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and HTML. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. A company that can reintermediate easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to monetize correctly. Do you have a game plan to become subscriber-defined? Think front-end. Do you have a game plan to become dynamic? Do you have a plan to become blog-based? The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and WAP. If you exploit nano-perfectly, you may have to innovate holistically. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. What does the commonly-used term "C2C2C" really mean? At Metafilter, we have proven we know how to architect extensibly. Without appropriate synergies, communities are forced to become reality-based. Think sticky. Think micro-B2B. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to aggregate compellingly than to unleash interactively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive, B2C2B data hygiene and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our ultra-revolutionary micro-distributed Total Quality Management but our ability to revolutionize. Without content, you will lack re-purposing. We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our models but our capacity to streamline. Have you ever been unable to scale your functionality? In one step? The data hygiene metrics factor can be summed up in one word: integrated, one-to-one. We frequently engineer distributed back-end accounting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! The capability to strategize cyber-dynamically leads to the capability to embrace intra-iteravely. The mindshare factor is client-focused. We think that most C2C2B entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough AJAX. Do you have a game plan to become out-of-the-box? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We invariably orchestrate cross-media deliverables. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! We think that most 24/7 web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough IIS.