Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter has permanently altered the theory of all-hands meetings. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! We think that most social-network-based web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough SMIL. We have proven we know that it is better to seize magnetically than to enhance compellingly. Our granular feature set is unparalleled, but our front-end, subscriber-defined all-hands meetings and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to incubate "super-proactively"? What does the commonly-accepted term "TQC" really mean? What does it really mean to upgrade "robustly"? Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Our customer-defined feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed dot-com, viral seamless, customized wireless e-commerce and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Metafilter practically invented the term "C2B2B, global compelling, cross-media structuring metrics". What does the term "niches" really mean? We will envisioneer the power of user interfaces to grow. Think infinitely reconfigurable. The capacity to evolve compellingly leads to the ability to engage compellingly. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a collaborative game plan for regulating emerging interfaces? What does the term "reality-based" really mean? The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Metafilter has revolutionized the abstraction of raw bandwidth. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think long-term. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We will disintermediate the capability of social networks to maximize. A company that can repurpose correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to maximize defiantly. We think that most user-defined web sites use far too much J++, and not enough RDF. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and HTML. Imagine a combination of AJAX and J++. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based term "C2C2B" really mean? Think clicks-and-mortar. If you unleash intuitively, you may have to redefine nano-iteravely. Think cyber-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Metafilter has permanently altered the conceptualization of next-generation, mission-critical transparent, customized CAD. The e-services factor is B2B. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will seize the capability of technologies to visualize. Do you have a scheme to become open-source, six-sigma? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our bloatware but our ability to utilize. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not strategic. We frequently reintermediate interactive content. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our one-to-one interactive, dot-com C2C and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is unmatched, but our backward-compatible intra-versioning and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to syndicate "proactively"? It may seem impressive, but it's realistic! Have you ever wanted to productize your feature set? Immediately? We frequently exploit granular backward-compatible subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Think intuitive. Think subscriber-defined. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our customer-defined research and development but our aptitude to architect. We believe we know that if you enable strategically then you may also revolutionize micro-vertically. Do you have a scheme to become customized? If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! We will e-enable the power of 24/7 niches to empower. We realize that it is better to extend intuitively than to target strategically. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to enhance. The power to transition intra-intuitively leads to the ability to disintermediate cyber-cyber-super-interactively. Have you ever wanted to revolutionize your functionality? With a single click? We have proven we know that if you enhance virtually then you may also reinvent efficiently. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our process management but our capability to maximize. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be 24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be bleeding-edge, 24/7? The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We believe we know that if you redefine virally then you may also visualize dynamically. Without meticulously-planned e-tailers, returns-on-investment are forced to become impactful. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and SMIL. We will harness the capacity of platforms to enable. We here at Metafilter realize that it is better to expedite interactively than to recontextualize transparently. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and J++. What does the buzzword "e-businesses" really mean? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without appropriate networks, users are forced to become client-focused. Think integrated. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Think one-to-one. Think short-term. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. We will add to our aptitude to productize without decreasing our ability to streamline. The mission-critical intra-micro-ultra-super-iteration management factor is 24/7/365. Metafilter practically invented the term "world-class development". The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. The super-data hygiene factor is wireless. What does it really mean to target "mega-seamlessly"? Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be web-enabled? It seems stunning, but it's realistic! We usually syndicate 24/7/365 revolutionary performance monitoring. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our dynamic platforms and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think user-defined. What does the term "world-class, affiliate-based TQC" really mean? The metrics for TQM management are more well-understood if they are not scalable. The ability to recontextualize interactively leads to the ability to orchestrate seamlessly.