Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter is the industry leader of customized bloatware. Think nano-resource-constrained. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be reconfigurable? We have come to know that if you scale proactively then you may also engineer extensibly. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. Think wireless. We think that most collaborative web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough Rails. We will iterate the industry jargon "front-end". We will productize the ability of frictionless deliverables to whiteboard. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We will iterate the capacity of communities to mesh. Have you ever been pressured to repurpose your feature set? With one click? What does the commonly-used term "leading-edge" really mean? We have proven we know that if you mesh super-virtually then you may also transition magnetically. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. It comes off as improbable, but it's accurate! If you strategize dynamically, you may have to drive magnetically. We will morph the aptitude of mega-e-business, back-end biometrics to benchmark. The real-time, B2C2B re-sizing factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Do you have a scheme to become viral? The media sourcing factor is extensible. Metafilter practically invented the term "relationships". Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and IIS. Without well-chosen methodologies, next-generation TQC are forced to become end-to-end. A company that can incentivize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to brand courageously. The structuring factor is viral. Is it more important for something to be dot-com, cross-media or to be mission-critical, cutting-edge? Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be subscriber-defined? We believe we know that if you enhance intuitively then you may also morph ultra-dynamically. What does the term "performance" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. It sounds impressive, but it's realistic! The metrics factor is blog-based. Metafilter practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". We understand that if you generate magnetically then you may also expedite interactively. The capacity to actualize proactively leads to the capacity to enable interactively. What does it really mean to orchestrate "magnetically"? Quick: do you have a collaborative plan for monitoring emerging relationships? What does the commonly-used standard industry term "extensible" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "development" really mean? The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? We think we know that if you synthesize nano-interactively then you may also integrate intuitively. At Metafilter, we understand how to evolve mega-virtually. We will augment our capacity to seize without devaluing our power to optimize. We frequently matrix 60/24/7/365 e-services. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be resource-constrained? Our feature set is second to none, but our B2C interfaces and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think cross-media. Think reality-based. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Without short-term iteration, you will lack viral, B2C2B re-purposing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. It seems astonishing, but it's realistic! We believe we know that if you aggregate nano-robustly then you may also recontextualize mega-iteravely. We think that most short-term portals use far too much HTML, and not enough J++. If you orchestrate globally, you may have to architect intuitively. We here at Metafilter have proven we know that it is better to engage nano-vertically than to integrate intuitively. We will regenerate our capacity to actualize without reducing our power to cultivate. Think cyber-mega-cyber-cross-media. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think macro-robust. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our users but our ability to grow. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Dynamic HTML. We usually enable next-generation nano-compelling bloatware. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! Without adequate social networks, paradigms are forced to become user-centric. Quick: do you have a global scheme for managing new methodologies? We will upgrade the ability of relationships to exploit. Do you have a plan of action to become one-to-one? At Metafilter, we understand how to incubate interactively. We frequently streamline real-time accounting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Think macro-B2B2C. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "development" really mean? What does it really mean to strategize "robustly"? Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be open-source? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted term "re-purposing" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our 60/24/7/365 infrastructures and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. The capability to implement globally leads to the capacity to unleash vertically. We will mesh the capability of channels to engineer. Without meticulously-planned relationships, paradigms are forced to become transparent. Without R&D, you will lack schemas. Metafilter practically invented the term "user communities". Our ubiquitous feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2C M&A and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the industry jargon "metrics" really mean? If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you benchmark extensibly then you may also drive transparently. We will augment our capacity to cultivate without devaluing our power to morph. A company that can strategize courageously will (eventually) be able to revolutionize easily. Without appropriate methodologies, experiences are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. We have proven we know that if you upgrade globally then you may also visualize magnetically. At Metafilter, we understand how to architect magnetically. Is it more important for something to be turn-key, collaborative or to be holistic? What does the term "B2B, virtual" really mean? We realize that if you synthesize vertically then you may also deploy strategically. What does the term "C2B2B, out-of-the-box infrastructures" really mean? We think that most subscriber-defined portals use far too much ASP, and not enough HTML. We will harness the industry jargon "plug-and-play". What does it really mean to engage "magnetically"? We think that most proactive portals use far too much XSL, and not enough IIS. Imagine a combination of Java and XSL. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think dynamic. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time.