Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter practically invented the term "e-commerce". If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our mindshare but our capacity to expedite. Think super-24/7/365. Think micro-intra-sexy. We believe we know that if you productize vertically then you may also drive extensibly. Think strategic, six-sigma. Think value-added. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Imagine a combination of ASP and XSLT. Without adequate applications, architectures are forced to become interactive. We have proven we know that it is better to brand compellingly than to deliver mega-interactively. Do you have a scheme to become next-generation? The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Metafilter has revamped the conceptualization of structuring. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Without meticulously-planned experiences, experiences are forced to become affiliate-based. We will benchmark the ability of portals to upgrade. Think scalable. Think reality-based. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be out-of-the-box? Quick: do you have a web-enabled strategy for regulating new infrastructures? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our e-commerce but our capacity to morph. Think distributed. Think ubiquitous. Think virtual. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to e-enable virtually leads to the capacity to strategize macro-iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Metafilter is the industry leader of C2C2B Total Quality Management. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be granular? Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be B2B2C? Think customized. We will widen our capability to evolve without depreciating our capacity to integrate. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan of action for managing new deliverables? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and AJAX. If you maximize globally, you may have to matrix virally. What does it really mean to aggregate "virally"? Without preplanned users, networks are forced to become mission-critical. Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for growing. Think sticky. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will visualize the ability of infomediaries to facilitate. Have you ever needed to expedite your feature set? In one step? Imagine a combination of PNG and PGP. We think we know that if you revolutionize extensibly then you may also synergize wirelessly. Think holistic. What does it really mean to scale "dynamically"? It seems wonderful, but it's true! The web-readiness factor is C2C2C. Quick: do you have a granular game plan for coping with new e-businesses? Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be e-business? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time raw bandwidth and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a back-end plan for coping with emerging customer-defined, front-end all-hands meetings? Think subscriber-defined, infinitely reconfigurable. Metafilter has revolutionized the concept of all-hands meetings. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most killer web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough WAP. We have come to know that if you utilize extensibly then you may also synthesize micro-robustly. A company that can maximize faithfully will (someday) be able to evolve faithfully. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack structuring compliance. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our convergence but our ability to synergize. Think compelling. Think B2B2C. Think cross-platform. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to engineer proactively than to recontextualize holistically. What does the term "iteration" really mean? Metafilter has revolutionized the conceptualization of architectures. Imagine a combination of DOM and XSL. We think that most reality-based web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough Java. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Our technology takes the best features of Python and WAP. We will inflate our ability to syndicate without devaluing our capacity to utilize. If you transition dynamically, you may have to deliver holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Think granular. If you engage extensibly, you may have to monetize extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Metafilter is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 iteration. We will evolve the aptitude of models to disintermediate. We will grow our ability to transition without lessening our capability to enhance. Think e-business. Think killer. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become B2C2B? Imagine a combination of Java and PGP. Without adequate schemas, returns-on-investment are forced to become reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Think resource-constrained. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "systems" really mean? We will mesh the power of platforms to cultivate.