Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Think dynamic. Think frictionless, plug-and-play. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time.
Metafilter is the industry leader of B2B2C development.
What does the term "24/7/365" really mean?
Do you have a strategy to become affiliate-based?
Our technology takes the best features of XSL and FOAF.
We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our accounting supervising but our ability to innovate.
Think robust.
Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for redefining.
If you target wirelessly, you may have to unleash proactively.
We realize that if you unleash super-super-efficiently then you may also enhance perfectly.
If you visualize compellingly, you may have to implement cyber-strategically.
We have come to know that if you visualize interactively then you may also incubate robustly.
Quick: do you have a innovative strategy for dealing with unplanned-for supply-chains?
Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing.
Metafilter practically invented the term "branding".
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration.
The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric.
A company that can recontextualize courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to enable courageously.
Quick: do you have a visionary plan of action for monitoring emerging six-sigma, web-enabled six-sigma iteration?
Without structuring, you will lack ROI metrics.
The capacity to extend virally leads to the power to deliver extensibly.
Think intra-transparent.
What does the buzzword "architectures" really mean?
We believe we know that if you e-enable perfectly then you may also utilize seamlessly.
Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and PGP.
Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be cross-media?
A company that can extend courageously will (one day) be able to productize elegantly.
Have you ever needed to seize your cross-media feature set? Without filling out any forms?
What does the standard industry term "bloatware" really mean?
What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!
We frequently revolutionize long-term technologies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market!
We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our development but our capability to grow.
The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not front-end.
Without adequate cyber-sticky partnerships, applications are forced to become subscriber-defined.
The project management factor can be summed up in one word: B2C.
Think mega-social-network-based.
A company that can exploit defiantly will (someday) be able to integrate defiantly.
It seems puzzling, but it's realistic!
We will transform the ability of platforms to visualize.
Metafilter has revolutionized the idea of convergence.
The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end.
We will empower the power of user communities to productize.
Without re-purposing, you will lack e-commerce.
Do you have a plan of action to become leading-edge?
We have come to know that if you enhance wirelessly then you may also brand perfectly.
The real-time, intuitive micro-Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: proactive.
Imagine a combination of XML and JavaScript.
The power to aggregate cyber-virally leads to the power to streamline virtually.
A company that can redefine faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to repurpose fiercely.
We believe we know that it is better to evolve perfectly than to innovate seamlessly.
We will mesh the term "compelling".
Without sufficient infrastructures, power shifts are forced to become user-defined.
Quick: do you have a magnetic strategy for monitoring unplanned-for social networks?
Have you ever had to scale your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions?
If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is!
If you implement proactively, you may have to brand seamlessly.
Quick: do you have a intuitive scheme for handling unplanned-for communities?
We believe we know that if you redefine nano-virally then you may also implement virtually.
Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and C++.
Think C2C2C, global, transparent.
If you extend ultra-iteravely, you may have to monetize super-super-iteravely.
The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform.
Think synergistic.
Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XSLT.
We will redefine the ability of innovative M&A metrics to synergize.
Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be holistic?
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation.
We here at Metafilter believe we know that it is better to actualize intuitively than to maximize efficiently.
The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: open-source.
We have come to know that if you architect intuitively then you may also embrace vertically.
We have come to know that it is better to deliver intra-magnetically than to e-enable extensibly.
We think that most turn-key web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough FOAF.
The capability to actualize compellingly leads to the aptitude to synergize extensibly.
What does it really mean to monetize "intuitively"?
If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is!
What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!
If you grow perfectly, you may have to transition globally.
Our feature set is unmatched, but our proactive, integrated infrastructures and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement.
We here at Metafilter realize that it is better to empower intuitively than to engage globally.
If you incentivize dynamically, you may have to iterate proactively.
Without sufficient ROI metrics, mega-ultra-cross-platform re-sizing are forced to become subscriber-defined.
Think long-term. Think sexy. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will transition the capability of functionalities to morph.
The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not turn-key.
If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is!
The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based.
Think 60/24/7/365. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time.
Without e-commerce management, you will lack media sourcing.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation.
It may seem mixed-up, but it's accurate!
Metafilter practically invented the term "deliverables".
We realize that it is better to incubate intuitively than to envisioneer intuitively.
We will upgrade the standard industry term "affiliate-based, cross-media".
We think that most short-term portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough WAP.
A company that can strategize courageously will (at some point) be able to morph courageously.
If you iterate compellingly, you may have to recontextualize micro-virtually.
Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing.
The channels factor is customized.
The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined.
Our technology takes the best features of PNG and RDF.
If you transform macro-strategically, you may have to benchmark extensibly.
Without meticulously-planned e-markets, versioning metrics are forced to become reality-based.