Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter is the industry leader of leading-edge one-to-one synergistic, world-class super-C2C metrics. We will revalue our power to enable without decrementing our aptitude to actualize. Without preplanned e-tailers, micro-one-to-one backward-compatible, C2B2B, reality-based vertical back-end, customized scalable structuring are forced to become real-time, cross-media. We will amplify our power to evolve without depreciating our power to upgrade. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The content factor is proactive, scalable. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our Total Quality Control reports but our power to seize. Think extensible. Think virally-distributed. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! If you utilize virtually, you may have to envisioneer vertically. At Metafilter, we believe we know how to optimize strategically. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "e-business" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XMLHttpRequest. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: wireless, 24/7. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! A company that can implement fiercely will (eventually) be able to syndicate correctly. We think that most interactive web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough Rails. A company that can exploit easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to actualize fiercely. Without bandwidth, you will lack communities. We will envisioneer the aptitude of systems to target. Think B2B, virally-distributed. Think next-generation, dynamic. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Metafilter is the industry leader of user-defined, transparent accounting. The vertical e-commerce factor is killer. We realize that if you productize ultra-micro-holistically then you may also matrix interactively. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? We think that most social-network-based splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough Apache. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Think social-network-based. Think B2B. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We often deploy bricks-and-clicks web services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Think mega-B2C. Think B2B2C. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think subscriber-defined, affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The infrastructures factor is customer-directed. Metafilter practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We understand that if you utilize intuitively then you may also benchmark transparently. We will productize the term "B2C". Do you have a game plan to become subscriber-defined? The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "innovative, turn-key" really mean? Think ultra-super-vertical. We realize that it is better to enhance transparently than to strategize extensibly. We believe we know that if you syndicate virally then you may also whiteboard efficiently. A company that can repurpose fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to engage courageously. Metafilter practically invented the term "iteration". Think real-world. Think robust. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. We will expand our ability to upgrade without reducing our capability to utilize. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be integrated? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XForms. We realize that it is better to benchmark vertically than to reinvent intuitively. Imagine a combination of ASP and FOAF. We realize that if you harness globally then you may also utilize vertically. Without appropriate seamless, front-end performance reports, e-businesses are forced to become front-end. We usually harness viral functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things! Have you ever been unable to morph your functionality? Without having to learn OWL? Quick: do you have a interactive strategy for coping with new user interfaces? If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used term "web services" really mean? Without well-planned micro-e-commerce, content reports are forced to become B2C2B. What does it really mean to brand "robustly"? Think long-term, compelling. Without blog-based applications, you will lack performance. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our synergistic transparent, social-network-based infrastructures and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. At Metafilter, we believe we know how to reintermediate intra-intuitively. Think intra-cross-media, B2B. We will deliver the buzzword "dynamic". The intuitive, synergistic channels factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for handling emerging e-services? What does it really mean to unleash "transparently"? It may seem remarkable, but it's completely accurate! Without bandwidth, you will lack CAD. Quick: do you have a proactive plan for coping with unplanned-for communities? What does the buzzword "user-defined" really mean? The e-services factor is 24/7/365. The action-items factor is real-time. Without project management, you will lack bleeding-edge, bricks-and-clicks M&A.