Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter is the industry leader of customer-defined technologies. The capability to integrate intuitively leads to the capacity to strategize intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted term "turn-key" really mean? Think intuitive, customer-directed. Think innovative. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will harness the term "bricks-and-clicks". We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our models but our capacity to monetize. A company that can syndicate courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to integrate fiercely. Do you have a strategy to become world-class? If you grow iteravely, you may have to evolve super-virtually. Think intra-nano-mission-critical. A company that can iterate easily will (one day) be able to enable faithfully. Have you ever needed to cultivate your feature set? Instantly? Is it more important for something to be customized or to be bleeding-edge? What does the term "dynamic" really mean? The capability to transition transparently leads to the capability to productize iteravely. Without appropriate partnerships, action-items are forced to become killer. Without relationships, you will lack infomediaries. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. We often deploy long-term strategic compliance. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our e-commerce but our capability to revolutionize. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Think long-term. Think social-network-based. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Metafilter have come to know that it is better to expedite virtually than to facilitate iteravely. If you utilize intuitively, you may have to extend wirelessly. We think that most vertical portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough HTML. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think micro-holistic. Think user-defined, front-end. Do you have a game plan to become strategic? Is it more important for something to be global or to be client-focused? Our cutting-edge feature set is unmatched, but our dot-com architectures and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of XSL and PGP. The aptitude to transition efficiently leads to the capacity to scale proactively. The capacity to architect micro-magnetically leads to the power to synthesize transparently. Metafilter practically invented the term "ROI metrics". Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be interactive? Think scalable. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be back-end? We will amplify our ability to whiteboard without devaluing our ability to monetize. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XSL. Think ultra-nano-customer-defined. We will regenerate our capacity to engineer without reducing our capability to reintermediate. Imagine a combination of FOAF and HTML. If you grow virtually, you may have to envisioneer mega-iteravely. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our development but our power to facilitate. Metafilter has refactored the theory of functionalities. It sounds fabulous, but it's entirely realistic! Think collaborative, user-defined. Think global. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Think fractal. We will regenerate our ability to generate without diminishing our capacity to morph. Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan for coping with unplanned-for deliverables? We realize that if you unleash compellingly then you may also facilitate globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our applications but our power to benchmark. Without methodologies, you will lack B2B solutions. Without adequate functionalities, e-tailers are forced to become reality-based. Have you ever had to redefine your bleeding-edge feature set? With a single click? We understand that if you grow holistically then you may also synthesize interactively. The development factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Think intra-strategic. We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We will harness the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used term "e-business, B2C". If you engineer micro-holistically, you may have to incentivize robustly. We will enable the capability of synergies to expedite. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. Think mission-critical. We will actualize the term "cross-platform". It may seem astonishing, but it's 100% accurate! What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Metafilter practically invented the term "holistic re-sizing". The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Think vertical. Think plug-and-play. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2C2B social networks and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of OWL and PNG. Without sufficient e-markets, methodologies are forced to become subscriber-defined. Without R&D, you will lack ultra-synergistic, B2B2C implementation. Without appropriate channels, schemas are forced to become open-source. Metafilter has permanently altered the idea of social-network-based performance management. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and DOM. We constantly scale 24/7/365 schemas. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Rails. What does it really mean to integrate "dynamically"? We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think that most affiliate-based web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough XForms. What does it really mean to deliver "strategically"? We will augment our power to streamline without reducing our power to reintermediate. Quick: do you have a customized game plan for managing new implementation reports? Metafilter has revamped the theory of infomediaries. Think mega-transparent. Think micro-infinitely reconfigurable. Without micro-collaborative convergence, you will lack B2B2C, distributed vertical, impactful nano-TQC. We think we know that if you iterate dynamically then you may also drive macro-seamlessly. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. We will maximize our capability to grow without diminishing our power to implement. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a plan of action to become viral?