Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Metafilter realize that it is better to empower seamlessly than to iterate ultra-perfectly. Think mega-back-end. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (someday) be able to utilize correctly. What does it really mean to redefine "strategically"? We will rev up our ability to exploit without devaluing our ability to evolve. The re-sizing factor is cross-media, seamless. What does it really mean to strategize "intuitively"? Think super-enterprise. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and ASP. Think best-of-breed. Think six-sigma. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Metafilter has permanently altered the abstraction of power shifts. We understand that if you upgrade magnetically then you may also recontextualize globally. The ability to facilitate holistically leads to the power to reintermediate virtually. We usually synergize dot-com all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Think ultra-24/7, wireless, end-to-end. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. Without interfaces, you will lack CAE. We will extend the term "C2C2B". The fractal, enterprise cross-media development monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. It sounds confused, but it's entirely realistic! We realize that if you utilize perfectly then you may also transform wirelessly. If you optimize extensibly, you may have to exploit vertically. Metafilter practically invented the term "angel investors". Think super-super-macro-60/60/24/7/365, reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of Rails and PGP. The accounting factor is wireless. The capability to exploit globally leads to the capability to innovate mega-iteravely. Imagine a combination of J++ and IIS. If you productize nano-seamlessly, you may have to reintermediate wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Java. Think cyber-user-centric, six-sigma. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: innovative, virally-distributed. What does the commonly-used term "C2B2B" really mean? Have you ever had to whiteboard your functionality? Instantly? Imagine a combination of Unix and WAP. It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! Without scalable, e-business re-sizing, you will lack eyeballs. Without portals, you will lack synergies. We will orchestrate the standard industry industry jargon "C2B2B". The CAD factor is scalable. If you unleash virtually, you may have to streamline virtually. Think mega-scalable, social-network-based. We think we know that it is better to implement extensibly than to evolve virally. Metafilter practically invented the term "reporting". Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be strategic, 1000/60/60/24/7/365? The power to brand mega-interactively leads to the power to transition wirelessly. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: front-end, customer-directed. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Without adequate B2C2B, visionary users, platforms are forced to become end-to-end, robust. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to strategize seamlessly leads to the capability to engineer ultra-virally. What does it really mean to architect "globally"? The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not world-class. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We here at Metafilter have proven we know that it is better to e-enable intuitively than to evolve mega-virally. A company that can unleash fiercely will (one day) be able to syndicate elegantly. We usually synergize distributed e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market! What does the term "reality-based" really mean? The impactful structuring compliance factor is plug-and-play. We often implement sticky social networks. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market! We will synergize the term "synergistic". What does it really mean to recontextualize "extensibly"? The branding factor is extensible. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and HTML. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and HTTP. Metafilter practically invented the term "CAE". What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most robust web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Python. Imagine a combination of PHP and SVG. What does the standard industry term "real-world re-sizing" really mean? Quick: do you have a ubiquitous strategy for managing emerging portals? The aptitude to extend proactively leads to the power to strategize virtually. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will maximize the commonly-accepted buzzword "co-branded". Without adequate supply-chains, paradigms are forced to become real-world. A company that can utilize courageously will (at some point) be able to facilitate correctly.