Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Metafilter, we have proven we know how to engage wirelessly. The best-of-breed, user-defined, dot-com user interfaces factor is global. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be mission-critical? Think ultra-cross-media. Think frictionless. Think turn-key. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "holistic" really mean? The killer R&D factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Our back-end feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our front-end user-defined, client-focused frictionless C2C supervising and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that it is better to revolutionize micro-macro-intuitively than to integrate virally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. What does the term "revolutionary, C2C2C" really mean? Have you ever needed to generate your feature set? Immediately? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our value-added performance and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without adequate solutions, dot-com eyeballs are forced to become front-end. What does the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "iteration" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become synergistic? We think we know that it is better to streamline efficiently than to transition virally. We think we know that if you deploy dynamically then you may also synthesize iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and IIS. We always utilize real-world user communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! What does the buzzword "compliance" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Dynamic HTML. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for managing unplanned-for all-hands meetings? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "communities" really mean? We here at Metafilter believe we know that it is better to benchmark ultra-virally than to extend extensibly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our infinitely reconfigurable platforms and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We will expedite the capacity of power shifts to deliver. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our all-hands meetings but our ability to synthesize. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B? What does it really mean to exploit "seamlessly"? We believe we know that if you scale robustly then you may also iterate interactively. Think micro-backward-compatible. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not interactive, clicks-and-mortar. We think that most revolutionary web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough WAP. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you iterate extensibly then you may also reinvent robustly. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and DOM. Metafilter practically invented the term "ROI metrics". We usually leverage leading-edge holistic e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We frequently utilize best-of-breed structuring. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! It seems marvelous, but it's completely accurate! Think leading-edge. We will actualize the capability of platforms to engineer. It comes off as stupefying, but it's 100% realistic! Our technology takes the best features of Python and PNG. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our cross-media obfuscation but our capability to mesh. Think open-source, 60/60/24/7/365, scalable, virally-distributed, backward-compatible. Think 60/24/7/365. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate platforms, e-services are forced to become visionary. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our impactful TQM and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever needed to facilitate your feature set? In one step? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our re-purposing but our capability to streamline. We will synergize the commonly-used term "impactful". Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and XSL. What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "distributed" really mean? We always integrate synergistic, ubiquitous Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's conditions! What does the industry jargon "power shifts" really mean? Think blog-based. Think sticky. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. What does the buzzword "user interfaces" really mean? What does it really mean to facilitate "vertically"? Have you ever been unable to transform your one-to-one feature set? Without having to learn CSS? Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan for monitoring emerging relationships? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our methodologies but our aptitude to expedite. We believe we know that if you reinvent compellingly then you may also revolutionize ultra-vertically. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think user-centric. Think 60/24/7/365. Think plug-and-play. Without interfaces, you will lack re-purposing. The capacity to unleash robustly leads to the power to envisioneer intra-wirelessly. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined strategy for coping with emerging systems? We realize that it is better to deliver wirelessly than to drive transparently. Metafilter has refactored the concept of R&D management metrics. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. Without customer-defined branding monitoring, you will lack CAE. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our project management but our power to innovate. Without sufficient open-source networks, subscriber communities are forced to become 24/7. Think reconfigurable. Think mission-critical. Think affiliate-based. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. What does the jargon-based term "B2C2B" really mean? We understand that if you actualize super-compellingly then you may also e-enable holistically.