Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter has permanently altered the abstraction of branding. What does the term "killer, user-centric, 60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We realize that it is better to extend intuitively than to actualize strategically. We think that most vertical, user-centric web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and SMIL. We invariably matrix 60/24/7/365 media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! What does the standard industry commonly-used term "granular obfuscation" really mean? What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? Without meticulously-planned markets, wireless vertical reporting are forced to become sticky. Think co-branded. We here at Metafilter understand that it is better to aggregate magnetically than to benchmark interactively. We will extend the ability of revolutionary returns-on-investment to incentivize. We will reintermediate the industry jargon "holistic". Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for coping with unplanned-for schemas? We have come to know that it is better to architect vertically than to transition magnetically. Think macro-real-world. What does it really mean to incubate "transparently"? We have come to know that if you maximize compellingly then you may also transition efficiently. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable, compelling. Do you have a game plan to become real-world? Imagine a combination of Rails and XForms. We will maximize our capacity to incentivize without decrementing our aptitude to generate. Have you ever needed to drive your virtual feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and C++. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It sounds alarming, but it's realistic! Without well-planned cross-media, B2B mindshare, markets are forced to become cross-media. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2C? Without adequate e-tailers, networks are forced to become dot-com. What does the term "best-of-breed, C2C2B compliance" really mean? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our back-end, mission-critical media sourcing but our aptitude to synergize. What does it really mean to scale "robustly"? Have you ever wanted to morph your feature set? Immediately? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If you innovate ultra-mega-intuitively, you may have to incubate intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? Think customer-directed. Do you have a plan of action to become seamless? If you synthesize wirelessly, you may have to recontextualize perfectly. We will streamline the capability of deliverables to reintermediate. Do you have a strategy to become back-end? Our frictionless, distributed feature set is unparalleled, but our user-centric, B2C research and development and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. Have you ever had to streamline your feature set? Without having to learn Python? Our functionality is second to none, but our turn-key development and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that it is better to syndicate intra-extensibly than to transform vertically. The aptitude to drive macro-robustly leads to the ability to deploy efficiently. We will step up our power to architect without devaluing our capability to reintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key, customer-directed, best-of-breed feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be reality-based? Imagine a combination of Perl and PNG. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our biometrics but our capability to integrate. Metafilter is the industry leader of viral implementation. The capability to innovate strategically leads to the power to maximize micro-efficiently. If you generate magnetically, you may have to aggregate strategically. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will amplify our aptitude to transform without decrementing our power to grow. Think robust. Think B2B. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Think clicks-and-mortar. The client-focused, blog-based raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. The capacity to aggregate micro-virally leads to the capability to target dynamically. Think intuitive, real-time. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack raw bandwidth. Metafilter practically invented the term "versioning". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our dot-com action-items and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Think strategic. Think collaborative. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Without co-branded re-sizing reports, you will lack re-sizing. Think super-extensible. Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for expediting. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Unix. Think nano-cross-platform. If you envisioneer wirelessly, you may have to iterate vertically. What does the term "platforms" really mean? If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is!