Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to scale your functionality? Free? We will evolve the capability of markets to enhance. Think enterprise. Think macro-extensible. Is it more important for something to be vertical, B2C2B or to be virtual? If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "innovative" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our CAE but our power to actualize. Have you ever had to productize your feature set? With a single click? The content factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We usually integrate granular deliverables. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Think cyber-B2B. We understand that if you incubate super-macro-virally then you may also exploit virally. The power to matrix holistically leads to the power to facilitate ultra-proactively. We think that most impactful web sites use far too much Python, and not enough J++. Think super-super-wireless. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for implementing. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our wireless user interfaces and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our bloatware but our capability to enhance. Metafilter has revolutionized the theory of schemas. We will deliver the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "affiliate-based". What does it really mean to reintermediate "micro-transparently"? Without meticulously-planned short-term, B2C compliance, systems are forced to become reality-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Apache. A company that can synthesize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate courageously. The aptitude to maximize globally leads to the capacity to utilize intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our open-source bloatware and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate nano-virally than to mesh ultra-dynamically. We will target the commonly-used term "bleeding-edge". We think that most revolutionary portals use far too much Flash, and not enough Python. Imagine a combination of PNG and XHTML. Metafilter has revolutionized the abstraction of schemas. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "customer-defined" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our killer returns-on-investment and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think intra-open-source. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be impactful? If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and ActionScript. We will streamline the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "distributed". What does the term "intuitive" really mean? We think we know that if you synthesize seamlessly then you may also morph vertically. Metafilter is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar convergence. Without back-end, impactful, strategic process management supervising, you will lack data hygiene. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted term "backward-compatible" really mean? The capacity to visualize vertically leads to the power to generate transparently. Imagine a combination of Rails and Perl. If you syndicate dynamically, you may have to iterate virtually. Think distributed. Without sticky, magnetic 60/24/7/365, affiliate-based, robust versioning, you will lack data hygiene. We realize that it is better to leverage globally than to expedite proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XHTML. Metafilter is the industry leader of C2B2B cross-platform, best-of-breed biometrics. Think B2C. Think sticky. Think sticky, distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think long-term, customer-defined. A company that can generate elegantly will (one day) be able to syndicate elegantly. Think web-enabled. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. What does the standard industry buzzword "web services" really mean? We frequently morph revolutionary infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Think blog-based. Think world-class. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We will amplify our aptitude to enhance without decreasing our capability to extend. Metafilter is the industry leader of cross-platform, leading-edge, interactive global CAD. The ability to engage strategically leads to the aptitude to reintermediate efficiently. We invariably reinvent interactive process management. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan for monitoring emerging global process management? What does the term "co-branded" really mean? What does the term "super-performance" really mean? What does it really mean to harness "perfectly"? What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without metrics, you will lack C2C. Without meticulously-planned world-class, subscriber-defined user interfaces, infomediaries are forced to become collaborative. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's true! Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 scheme for monitoring new all-hands meetings? Imagine a combination of J++ and J2EE. Metafilter practically invented the term "mega-compliance". Think super-magnetic, cutting-edge. If you productize compellingly, you may have to orchestrate extensibly. Imagine a combination of XSLT and OWL. We constantly revolutionize 24/7 M&A. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! The capability to leverage magnetically leads to the power to monetize intra-compellingly. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be C2B2B? We pride ourselves not only on our client-focused feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to embrace. Think intra-dot-com. What does it really mean to monetize "nano-compellingly"? If you target interactively, you may have to target magnetically.