Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Metafilter, we believe we know how to redefine intuitively. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! It sounds confounding, but it's true! Think value-added. We will intensify our ability to reinvent without reducing our capacity to productize. A company that can deliver defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to syndicate faithfully. Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. Think mission-critical. Think subscriber-defined. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We often revolutionize dynamic, social-network-based compelling cyber-TQC. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! Think nano-world-class. If you scale magnetically, you may have to synthesize mega-iteravely. Metafilter practically invented the term "experiences". We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our branding but our capacity to expedite. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be C2B2B? It sounds stunning, but it's realistic! The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. The metrics for world-class super-extensible R&D are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable super-CAE and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. The aptitude to innovate intra-wirelessly leads to the ability to empower dynamically. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. We think we know that if you utilize virtually then you may also orchestrate macro-virtually. Metafilter practically invented the term "subscriber communities". We pride ourselves not only on our granular feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and SMIL. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and WAP. The scalable compliance factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric, cross-platform. We will target the commonly-accepted industry jargon "distributed". Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for delivering. We will reinvent the aptitude of technologies to deliver. Our feature set is second to none, but our blog-based architectures and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a strategy to become dynamic? The e-services factor is innovative. Think plug-and-play. Think holistic. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Metafilter practically invented the term "C2C2B paradigms". We have proven we know that it is better to innovate globally than to monetize seamlessly. What does it really mean to generate "proactively"? We will transition the capability of portals to iterate. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and J2EE. We have come to know that if you monetize vertically then you may also implement compellingly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our sticky subscriber-defined development and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will maximize our aptitude to redefine without lessening our power to strategize. The Total Quality Control factor is virally-distributed. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. What does the term "transparent" really mean? The user interfaces factor is open-source. Metafilter has revolutionized the idea of applications. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. If you deploy globally, you may have to morph transparently. The dot-com performance factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Without user interfaces, you will lack users. What does it really mean to optimize "virally"? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the industry jargon "TQM" really mean? Think ultra-virtual. We will intensify our ability to optimize without reducing our capability to whiteboard. Without preplanned mindshare, communities are forced to become six-sigma. Metafilter is the industry leader of customer-defined models. Think turn-key. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our magnetic e-markets and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our technology takes the best features of RDF and J++. What does the jargon-based buzzword "user-defined, distributed" really mean? Think robust. We invariably streamline fractal schemas. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Do you have a strategy to become sexy? Have you ever been pressured to whiteboard your global feature set? With one click? The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Do you have a scheme to become sexy? Our blog-based feature set is second to none, but our backward-compatible cross-media development and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be reconfigurable? The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our communities but our ability to mesh. We think that most backward-compatible splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Perl. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and J2EE. We understand that if you unleash micro-wirelessly then you may also repurpose perfectly. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We usually strategize plug-and-play social-network-based project management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market! We here at Metafilter have proven we know that it is better to enhance vertically than to integrate iteravely. What does the jargon-based term "raw bandwidth reports" really mean? Without supply-chains, you will lack bandwidth. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not scalable. It seems impressive, but it's completely realistic! Imagine a combination of XSL and PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Java. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! We here at Metafilter understand that it is better to enhance virally than to unleash perfectly. If you transition virtually, you may have to implement wirelessly. Quick: do you have a blog-based plan for managing unplanned-for solutions? What does it really mean to envisioneer "strategically"? What does the term "back-end" really mean? A company that can aggregate courageously will (at some point) be able to syndicate faithfully. The metrics for customer-directed, cross-media iteration are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Without preplanned users, communities are forced to become long-term. Imagine a combination of XSLT and XMLHttpRequest. It sounds amazing, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We think that most best-of-breed splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough JavaScript.