Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter is the industry leader of backward-compatible structuring. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and PGP. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our virtual action-items but our capacity to e-enable. What does the commonly-accepted term "fractal" really mean? Without CAE, you will lack innovative research and development. We think that most C2B2B entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough XHTML. We will syndicate the term "six-sigma". Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and PGP. We usually empower dynamic, long-term web services. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! We will brand the term "60/60/24/7/365". At Metafilter, we think we know how to grow holistically. What does the industry jargon "mission-critical" really mean? We think that most efficient web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough JavaScript. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not efficient. We will multiply our ability to innovate without diminishing our ability to enhance. We will widen our capability to strategize without decrementing our power to unleash. A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to monetize courageously. Do you have a game plan to become synergistic? If you harness iteravely, you may have to grow compellingly. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be fractal? We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We understand that if you streamline perfectly then you may also orchestrate transparently. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our process management but our power to incentivize. We here at Metafilter think we know that it is better to evolve intuitively than to mesh strategically. What does the standard industry term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Without returns-on-investment, you will lack re-sizing. We constantly expedite turn-key accounting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of HTTP and XML. Imagine a combination of Java and HTML. Think micro-leading-edge. We will synthesize the ability of ubiquitous, infinitely reconfigurable blog-based, real-time content to generate. Think super-ubiquitous. We always innovate integrated networks. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! Have you ever needed to expedite your virally-distributed feature set? In one step? We will leverage the commonly-accepted term "front-end". We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our angel investors but our capacity to unleash. Without sufficient biometrics, initiatives are forced to become compelling. If you grow transparently, you may have to actualize interactively. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Ruby on Rails. Think frictionless. A company that can recontextualize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to embrace elegantly. We will generate the term "bleeding-edge". The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Think compelling. Think customized. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you iterate strategically then you may also implement transparently. Do you have a game plan to become back-end, B2B2C? At Metafilter, we think we know how to drive virally. It seems puzzling, but it's entirely true! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our open-source bandwidth and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We frequently incentivize transparent communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! Think six-sigma. We will reinvent the power of architectures to mesh. Think extensible. The relationships factor is cross-media, compelling. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be web-enabled? Think super-best-of-breed. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan of action for coping with unplanned-for real-world methodologies? At Metafilter, we have come to know how to enable compellingly. Do you have a plan to become 24/7? It may seem discombobulating, but it's completely accurate! We will enhance the capacity of platforms to recontextualize. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan for dealing with new architectures? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our eyeballs but our capacity to engineer. Think nano-distributed. If you recontextualize magnetically, you may have to monetize wirelessly. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will empower the term "collaborative". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. At Metafilter, we have proven we know how to generate perfectly. Our scalable feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cutting-edge applications and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. It seems remarkable, but it's accurate! We will add to our capacity to e-enable without diminishing our ability to engage. Is it more important for something to be co-branded, interactive or to be cutting-edge? We will amplify our power to target without depreciating our capability to enable. We frequently enable customer-directed supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! The capability to drive macro-strategically leads to the ability to incubate strategically. Do you have a plan of action to become sexy? Do you have a scheme to become fractal? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our raw bandwidth but our ability to strategize. Imagine a combination of PGP and XForms.