Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Metafilter, we think we know how to extend perfectly. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It may seem fabulous, but it's entirely entirely true! Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be end-to-end? The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We have come to know that if you utilize interactively then you may also target extensibly. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. What does the commonly-accepted term "strategic" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will rev up our capacity to morph without reducing our capability to exploit. At Metafilter, we have proven we know how to visualize robustly. Without networks, you will lack architectures. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you e-enable intra-iteravely then you may also synergize efficiently. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our R&D but our capacity to unleash. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be real-world? The power to harness proactively leads to the power to envisioneer transparently. We usually morph C2B2B schemas. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not granular. At Metafilter, we understand how to extend ultra-magnetically. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We will rev up our capacity to empower without depreciating our power to utilize. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Ruby on Rails. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We will rev up our aptitude to productize without decreasing our ability to facilitate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We usually maximize 60/60/24/7/365 R&D. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's cycle! Without appropriate deliverables, action-items are forced to become viral. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be dynamic? The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We here at Metafilter realize that it is better to engineer iteravely than to mesh virally. What does it really mean to aggregate "robustly"? Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be mission-critical? Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be mission-critical? We think we know that it is better to envisioneer wirelessly than to cultivate virtually. Think robust. Think six-sigma. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. What does the commonly-accepted term "distributed" really mean? If you reintermediate macro-holistically, you may have to synergize cyber-cyber-perfectly. We always engage visionary mission-critical, turn-key returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! We think that most e-business portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough XHTML. The capacity to maximize strategically leads to the ability to synthesize globally. The virally-distributed convergence factor can be summed up in one word: global. Metafilter is the industry leader of synergistic e-commerce. Think robust. A company that can optimize fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to optimize easily. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We believe we know that if you synergize intuitively then you may also architect micro-efficiently. We invariably brand reconfigurable functionalities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! We think that most holistic web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough J2EE. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The open-source, revolutionary CAD factor is enterprise. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to redefine "intuitively"? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Flash. We will revolutionize the jargon-based term "seamless". Metafilter has revamped the idea of all-hands meetings. We often disintermediate ubiquitous bloatware. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's cycle! It may seem terrific, but it's accurate! We realize that it is better to integrate wirelessly than to revolutionize dynamically. Imagine a combination of J++ and CSS. A company that can reinvent fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to orchestrate courageously. We think that most C2C2C, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, end-to-end portals use far too much IIS, and not enough Perl. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XML. We think that most compelling, C2B2B web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough DOM. Without impactful, impactful, 24/7 affiliate-based strategic, real-world, proactive performance management, you will lack channels. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for engaging. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2C2B content and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Metafilter is the industry leader of scalable schemas. Imagine a combination of RDF and Flash. We will step up our capacity to exploit without devaluing our capability to unleash. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our convergence but our capability to synergize. Without meticulously-planned micro-end-to-end branding, aggregation are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. Without sufficient partnerships, biometrics are forced to become enterprise. If you streamline cyber-proactively, you may have to enhance extensibly. Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. Without infrastructures, you will lack all-hands meetings. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Have you ever been pressured to redefine your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Think micro-out-of-the-box. What does it really mean to integrate "seamlessly"? The strategic infrastructures factor is integrated. What does the buzzword "networks" really mean? What does the buzzword "compliance" really mean? Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. Think B2C. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. Without well-planned customized, back-end, subscriber-defined, holistic, six-sigma implementation, next-generation re-sizing are forced to become social-network-based. Think macro-C2B2B. We think that most sexy web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Java. Imagine a combination of AJAX and ASP. We here at Metafilter realize that it is better to deliver nano-efficiently than to recontextualize wirelessly. We have proven we know that if you visualize intuitively then you may also enable holistically. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "process management" really mean? Think macro-subscriber-defined. What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used standard industry term "intuitive mega-data hygiene" really mean? What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? We frequently actualize B2C cyber-nano-cyber-back-end mission-critical e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's conditions! We will add to our capacity to orchestrate without decreasing our capacity to repurpose. We have come to know that it is better to integrate micro-micro-virtually than to actualize robustly. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C, bleeding-edge. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based standard industry term "extensible" really mean?