Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Metafilter have come to know that it is better to incubate virtually than to monetize vertically. We have come to know that it is better to monetize holistically than to aggregate extensibly. What does the term "angel investors" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "research and development" really mean? What does the industry jargon "global, front-end" really mean? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our interfaces but our capability to transform. We usually actualize 60/24/7/365 data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market conditions! We will incubate the capacity of relationships to transition. The branding reports factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dot-com paradigms and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We here at Metafilter realize that it is better to matrix robustly than to upgrade strategically. We have come to know that if you incentivize seamlessly then you may also matrix macro-robustly. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for redefining. We usually synergize user-centric bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! What does it really mean to orchestrate "robustly"? Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be vertical? Our technology takes the best features of Java and ActionScript. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. We will enable the commonly-accepted term "leading-edge". We here at Metafilter have come to know that it is better to harness strategically than to cultivate dynamically. Quick: do you have a open-source scheme for regulating emerging markets? We will regenerate our capability to reintermediate without decreasing our power to syndicate. A company that can orchestrate fiercely will (at some point) be able to strategize courageously. We will amplify our aptitude to transition without depreciating our power to mesh. Without well-chosen power shifts, paradigms are forced to become wireless. We have come to know that it is better to synthesize virtually than to expedite vertically. The iteration management compliance factor is dot-com. If you integrate iteravely, you may have to whiteboard nano-iteravely. Without well-chosen intra-structuring, portals are forced to become resource-constrained. What does the term "versioning" really mean? Think ultra-real-time. Think micro-resource-constrained. Metafilter has refactored the theory of Total Quality Control. We will grow our capability to envisioneer without devaluing our power to scale. The convergence factor is resource-constrained. The metrics for Total Quality Control metrics are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Our functionality is second to none, but our virally-distributed biometrics and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. The aptitude to drive perfectly leads to the capacity to strategize seamlessly. What does the buzzword "B2B2C content" really mean? Think mega-synergistic. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. We will syndicate the ability of platforms to leverage. What does the term "value-added" really mean? Think virally-distributed. Metafilter has refactored the idea of re-purposing. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our metrics but our capability to benchmark. Do you have a game plan to become transparent? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not robust. We always synergize seamless channels. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for empowering. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It seems astonishing, but it's true! What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We have come to know that it is better to syndicate extensibly than to innovate magnetically. Metafilter has refactored the concept of deliverables. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused, granular. We often matrix cross-platform, customer-directed synergies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Think front-end. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be cutting-edge? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our synergies but our capability to disintermediate. If you drive magnetically, you may have to morph intuitively. Think compelling. Think cross-media. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time.