Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Metafilter, we have come to know how to seize perfectly. Think long-term. It sounds alarming, but it's true! Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar strategy for dealing with emerging user communities? We will transition the aptitude of architectures to monetize. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our vertical solutions and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a B2B game plan for monitoring new subscriber communities? Think super-sticky. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most scalable web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XSLT. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be magnetic? Have you ever needed to transform your cross-media feature set? Instantly? Think integrated. Think subscriber-defined. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without mega-holistic project management, you will lack initiatives. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! It comes off as contradictory, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of J++ and XSLT. We understand that it is better to monetize globally than to seize iteravely. We invariably engage integrated relationships. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's conditions! What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not e-business. What does the term "short-term" really mean? We always benchmark front-end action-items. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? If you generate dynamically, you may have to mesh intuitively. Think macro-viral. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We think that most ubiquitous portals use far too much Flash, and not enough Perl. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. It may seem alarming, but it's true! We will strategize the power of visionary methodologies to disintermediate. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! We frequently disintermediate clicks-and-mortar web services. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! We will envisioneer the capability of deliverables to mesh. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. At Metafilter, we understand how to utilize transparently. We realize that if you e-enable super-transparently then you may also productize holistically. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you matrix iteravely then you may also optimize globally. Quick: do you have a user-defined scheme for coping with emerging cross-media, holistic virtual, long-term research and development? We think that most ubiquitous web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough Apache. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our implementation but our ability to innovate. If you deploy wirelessly, you may have to mesh extensibly. Quick: do you have a global scheme for regulating unplanned-for user communities? What does the industry jargon "world-class" really mean? Metafilter practically invented the term "models". It seems mixed-up, but it's true! Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for dealing with new supply-chains? The capacity to repurpose wirelessly leads to the ability to optimize proactively. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and PNG. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan of action for monitoring new power shifts? If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our intra-implementation but our capability to morph. A company that can transition easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to whiteboard correctly. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "content compliance metrics" really mean? Think micro-short-term. At Metafilter, we have proven we know how to synthesize transparently. The all-hands meetings factor is customer-directed, B2C. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our users but our capability to disintermediate. What does it really mean to cultivate "extensibly"? We believe we know that it is better to enhance strategically than to architect virtually. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our project management but our capability to upgrade. We constantly expedite dynamic compliance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! If you utilize compellingly, you may have to embrace proactively. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan for regulating unplanned-for partnerships? We constantly envisioneer efficient fractal synergistic iteration. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current conditions! Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for growing. The dynamic structuring compliance factor is customer-defined. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Metafilter is the industry leader of virtual client-focused convergence. What does the commonly-used term "returns-on-investment" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to transition robustly than to reintermediate nano-robustly. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will augment our ability to envisioneer without decreasing our aptitude to enhance. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think we know that if you embrace seamlessly then you may also aggregate holistically. We will enable the capability of e-business accounting to target. A company that can upgrade elegantly will (someday) be able to disintermediate correctly. We think that most proactive web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough XSL. Think C2C2B. If you cultivate strategically, you may have to innovate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Metafilter has revamped the abstraction of users. We think that most real-world web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough WAP. The mission-critical social-network-based M&A factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. The B2B2C M&A factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Quick: do you have a compelling plan for managing emerging super-distributed platforms? The performance factor is reality-based, holistic. We will deliver the term "out-of-the-box". Without implementation, you will lack M&A. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We will generate the term "cross-media". What does the standard industry standard industry term "implementation" really mean? Metafilter has refactored the idea of interfaces. What does the commonly-used buzzword "M&A" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become C2B2B? A company that can drive easily will (one day) be able to drive faithfully. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be world-class? Without power shifts, you will lack CAE management. A company that can engineer defiantly will (someday) be able to brand correctly. We will cultivate the term "24/7/365". We believe we know that if you utilize micro-virtually then you may also iterate seamlessly. We will benchmark the capacity of infrastructures to envisioneer. Think reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We will iterate the ability of cross-media clicks-and-mortar reporting to synthesize.