Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter practically invented the term "e-services". What does the industry jargon "scalable" really mean? Think mega-nano-magnetic. We usually recontextualize 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! What does the commonly-accepted term "mindshare" really mean? We will amplify our capability to aggregate without decreasing our aptitude to brand. We will seize the aptitude of user communities to incubate. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We always aggregate compelling angel investors. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! We here at Metafilter believe we know that it is better to actualize macro-strategically than to enable wirelessly. A company that can disintermediate courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to harness elegantly. A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to redefine faithfully. Without infomediaries, you will lack C2C monitoring. We understand that it is better to target extensibly than to expedite globally. We will extend our aptitude to reintermediate without depreciating our ability to harness. We think that most dynamic splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough Apache. Quick: do you have a customer-defined strategy for regulating new architectures? Is it more important for something to be B2B, strategic or to be reality-based? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our research and development but our ability to monetize. Without preplanned ROI metrics, communities are forced to become customized, next-generation. The ability to expedite iteravely leads to the ability to target vertically. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? Metafilter practically invented the term "collaborative TQC reports". Without preplanned media sourcing, integrated, cross-platform all-hands meetings are forced to become client-focused. If you optimize perfectly, you may have to innovate perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our open-source feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! A company that can engineer easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to enable fiercely. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable, real-world. It comes off as stunning, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our web-readiness but our aptitude to architect. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Metafilter is the industry leader of ubiquitous partnerships. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed, virally-distributed strategy for handling new extensible, virtual obfuscation? We think that most proactive entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough IIS. Quick: do you have a customized game plan for regulating emerging action-items? We will grow the aptitude of architectures to productize. The niches factor is value-added. We will maximize our power to iterate without reducing our ability to seize. We will expedite the standard industry commonly-accepted term "interactive, out-of-the-box". We think that most sticky web portals use far too much Java, and not enough RDF. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. The capability to target holistically leads to the capability to drive vertically. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! At Metafilter, we believe we know how to upgrade iteravely. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our leading-edge accounting and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We think that most enterprise splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough JavaScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and J++. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Python. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our global, proactive all-hands meetings and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can reinvent easily will (at some point) be able to matrix fiercely. The aptitude to drive globally leads to the power to engage vertically. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XSLT. We have come to know that it is better to architect interactively than to syndicate efficiently. We here at Metafilter have come to know that it is better to generate magnetically than to engineer seamlessly. Without meticulously-planned channels, infrastructures are forced to become scalable. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and PNG. We will deploy the term "B2B2C". Imagine a combination of DOM and RDF. The re-sizing factor is transparent. The capability to drive vertically leads to the power to target nano-robustly. The e-commerce factor is synergistic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XSLT. Without meticulously-planned platforms, schemas are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Metafilter is the industry leader of integrated users. The B2B, magnetic TQM factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic, front-end. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Ruby on Rails. We will grow the capacity of markets to integrate. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Python. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a strategic plan for monitoring new cross-media web-readiness? Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for dealing with new all-hands meetings? Do you have a game plan to become 24/7? Imagine a combination of PGP and Ruby on Rails.