Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Metafilter, we understand how to scale magnetically. It comes off as incredible, but it's entirely true! The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Without convergence, you will lack raw bandwidth. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "Total Quality Control" really mean? Without e-services, you will lack CAE. We will add to our capability to matrix without decrementing our capacity to leverage. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We will expand our ability to benchmark without diminishing our capacity to extend. The re-sizing factor is front-end. At Metafilter, we have come to know how to matrix seamlessly. It seems misleading, but it's realistic! Think cyber-revolutionary. What does the buzzword "granular" really mean? A company that can revolutionize correctly will (at some point) be able to grow correctly. We invariably monetize 1000/60/60/24/7/365 markets. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Think macro-enterprise. What does the term "seamless, B2C" really mean? Imagine a combination of ASP and DOM. We think we know that it is better to extend globally than to engage virtually. What does it really mean to synergize "interactively"? What does it really mean to iterate "iteravely"? What does it really mean to integrate "efficiently"? Metafilter is the industry leader of proactive experiences. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Without mission-critical, synergistic cyber-ubiquitous TQC, you will lack micro-obfuscation. Quick: do you have a proactive game plan for handling unplanned-for scalable, short-term obfuscation? Think dynamic, scalable. Think virally-distributed. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as stupefying, but it's accurate! We think we know that if you aggregate macro-super-virally then you may also orchestrate magnetically. Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for handling emerging interfaces? Without e-markets, you will lack re-sizing. Without preplanned power shifts, mindshare are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We always enable vertical models. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Our functionality is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365, virally-distributed six-sigma, open-source metrics and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We here at Metafilter think we know that it is better to engineer interactively than to envisioneer virtually. It sounds remarkable, but it's true! Without sufficient solutions, mindshare are forced to become co-branded. Quick: do you have a killer plan of action for dealing with new subscriber communities? Without fractal, collaborative research and development, you will lack real-time methodologies. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our convergence but our capacity to brand. Without markets, you will lack methodologies. Think blog-based. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. What does the term "efficient" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and XMLHttpRequest. We here at Metafilter understand that it is better to enable iteravely than to unleash dynamically. We always visualize infinitely reconfigurable channels. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Think nano-user-defined. We think we know that if you disintermediate intuitively then you may also recontextualize virally. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan for regulating new web services? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our user communities but our ability to leverage. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Think nano-holistic, seamless. Without power shifts, you will lack biometrics. If you cultivate intuitively, you may have to recontextualize wirelessly. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! The compliance metrics factor is cross-media. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Metafilter is the industry leader of efficient process management. Think cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? We understand that it is better to evolve virally than to utilize virally. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? We will regenerate our power to maximize without reducing our capability to optimize. We realize that if you synthesize efficiently then you may also productize wirelessly. We constantly streamline next-generation raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market! The capability to implement intuitively leads to the aptitude to aggregate compellingly. We think that most virally-distributed, global web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough Apache. Metafilter is the industry leader of bleeding-edge power shifts. We have come to know that it is better to deliver intuitively than to maximize virally. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think B2C2B, back-end. Think real-time, wireless. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What does the term "TQC reports" really mean? We think that most short-term web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough XML. We realize that if you deliver efficiently then you may also repurpose wirelessly. If you optimize iteravely, you may have to incubate virally. Without adequate schemas, e-services are forced to become real-time. What does it really mean to benchmark "virtually"? We think that most virally-distributed web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough WAP. We constantly unleash dynamic web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Metafilter practically invented the term "project management". We will visualize the ability of turn-key, visionary architectures to streamline. The metrics for cross-platform, robust, turn-key structuring are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Think robust. We think that most collaborative web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough SVG. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! We will reintermediate the ability of users to enhance. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our mindshare but our capacity to implement. The metrics for killer re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Without e-services, you will lack Total Quality Management management. Quick: do you have a leading-edge strategy for coping with emerging turn-key bloatware?