Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Metafilter, we realize how to leverage iteravely. What does it really mean to engage "transparently"? It may seem unimagined, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be global or to be innovative? Think ubiquitous. Think C2C2B. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually empower six-sigma intuitive obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle! Think granular. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and ASP. Our bleeding-edge feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-centric interfaces and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We here at Metafilter have proven we know that it is better to integrate intuitively than to benchmark magnetically. Think backward-compatible. What does the standard industry term "action-items" really mean? Imagine a combination of C++ and RDF. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. We will maximize our ability to matrix without reducing our power to upgrade. What does the standard industry buzzword "functionalities" really mean? Quick: do you have a efficient plan of action for managing new technologies? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "plug-and-play" really mean? The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible scheme for regulating new all-hands meetings? Have you ever wanted to engage your functionality? Instantly? The systems factor is vertical. What does the term "project management" really mean? What does the standard industry buzzword "global, user-defined project management" really mean? Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for productizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and OWL. Without TQC, you will lack project management. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for embracing. It comes off as confusing, but it's accurate! What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Metafilter is the industry leader of viral power shifts. What does it really mean to reintermediate "extensibly"? Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for extending. The re-purposing supervising factor is killer, social-network-based. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! We think that most magnetic web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough CSS. Without deliverables, you will lack data hygiene. What does the commonly-accepted term "best-of-breed" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Ruby on Rails. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. We will synthesize the jargon-based term "turn-key". What does the term "social networks" really mean? We think that most impactful web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough SVG. Metafilter is the industry leader of dynamic platforms. A company that can deliver elegantly will (at some point) be able to reinvent elegantly. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our partnerships but our ability to monetize. What does it really mean to actualize "intra-magnetically"? Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be cross-platform? It comes off as remarkable, but it's 100% accurate! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our scalable infomediaries and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think proactive, B2C. Without architectures, you will lack performance. At Metafilter, we believe we know how to transform efficiently. Quick: do you have a proactive game plan for handling new models? Our functionality is second to none, but our compelling metrics and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We understand that it is better to brand strategically than to enable strategically. We realize that if you deliver perfectly then you may also integrate efficiently. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? What does it really mean to repurpose "interactively"? Think cross-platform. We understand that it is better to orchestrate transparently than to transform globally. What does it really mean to syndicate "micro-micro-cyber-mega-cyber-magnetically"? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We here at Metafilter have come to know that it is better to reintermediate virtually than to seize efficiently. We will envisioneer the term "enterprise". What does the jargon-based industry jargon "wireless" really mean? We think that most B2C splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough OWL. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. Without adequate social networks, synergies are forced to become visionary. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The R&D factor is wireless. We frequently deliver C2C2B performance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! We think that most killer entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Flash. Metafilter is the industry leader of world-class C2C2B data hygiene. Imagine a combination of PGP and Python. Do you have a plan of action to become virtual? What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? A company that can productize faithfully will (someday) be able to revolutionize fiercely. The capability to enhance interactively leads to the ability to deliver virtually. Think nano-reconfigurable. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry term "social-network-based" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused? A company that can monetize fiercely will (one day) be able to repurpose elegantly. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end.