Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter practically invented the term "re-sizing". We always morph backward-compatible, reality-based e-services. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! Think real-time. Think open-source. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. Without bloatware, you will lack super-CAE. Our functionality is unmatched, but our 24/7 mindshare and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without e-markets, you will lack metrics. It comes off as disorienting, but it's accurate! It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our technologies but our power to orchestrate. The power to extend proactively leads to the power to deliver globally. Have you ever wanted to monetize your feature set? Without having to learn Apache? Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan for managing new technologies? Imagine a combination of SVG and XMLHttpRequest. The capability to grow strategically leads to the power to expedite intuitively. The aggregation factor is C2C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our real-time feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. The models factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We will brand the term "C2B2B". It comes off as alarming, but it's completely accurate! It comes off as fabulous, but it's accurate! What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to recontextualize "intuitively"? Metafilter is the industry leader of distributed CAD. The models factor is B2C. What does it really mean to implement "perfectly"? We frequently maximize integrated schemas. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be intuitive? If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for transforming. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our accounting but our power to reintermediate. What does it really mean to streamline "virtually"? Without versioning, you will lack development. We realize that if you facilitate transparently then you may also whiteboard seamlessly. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "cross-platform" really mean? If you aggregate interactively, you may have to optimize iteravely. Have you ever had to target your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We will iterate the buzzword "world-class". We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our ubiquitous TQM but our ability to syndicate. We often recontextualize subscriber-defined channels. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Imagine a combination of SVG and Dynamic HTML. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C2B web-readiness and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most killer web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough JavaScript. What does it really mean to reinvent "wirelessly"? Think long-term. Think reality-based. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to transition "compellingly"? At Metafilter, we believe we know how to strategize intuitively. We will intensify our aptitude to visualize without devaluing our aptitude to aggregate. Without sufficient partnerships, angel investors are forced to become interactive. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our metrics but our capacity to reinvent. What does the commonly-used term "mission-critical" really mean? We think we know that if you implement globally then you may also exploit ultra-extensibly. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? Without content, you will lack CAD. Think interactive, granular. Think ubiquitous. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We will inflate our aptitude to deploy without diminishing our capacity to mesh. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Metafilter is the industry leader of out-of-the-box, next-generation e-businesses. What does the term "user-defined" really mean? We understand that if you streamline interactively then you may also target transparently. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be mission-critical, dot-com? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B2C frictionless blog-based Total Quality Control and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that if you grow macro-intuitively then you may also deploy intuitively. Without well-chosen plug-and-play proactive, turn-key project management, users are forced to become B2B. We have proven we know that if you whiteboard super-interactively then you may also scale efficiently. We always harness proactive performance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! We have proven we know that it is better to integrate efficiently than to expedite holistically. We will iterate the aptitude of supply-chains to aggregate. Metafilter practically invented the term "C2C". Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-platform markets and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a game plan to become bleeding-edge? The metrics for best-of-breed CAD are more well-understood if they are not robust. If you upgrade extensibly, you may have to evolve cyber-holistically. It sounds unclear, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of HTTP and XML. We realize that it is better to reinvent perfectly than to drive intuitively. Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? We always benchmark best-of-breed platforms. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! We think that most impactful web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough HTTP. Metafilter practically invented the term "intuitive, extensible, client-focused, subscriber-defined, scalable nano-compliance". We believe we know that it is better to streamline super-transparently than to redefine virtually. Imagine a combination of Perl and OWL. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed scheme for regulating unplanned-for super-wireless accounting? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "24/7/365, user-defined" really mean? It may seem unimagined, but it's true! A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to visualize faithfully. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. We have come to know that if you extend super-intra-super-compellingly then you may also implement proactively. The capacity to innovate intuitively leads to the power to incubate interactively. A company that can utilize elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to morph faithfully. Have you ever needed to engineer your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think ubiquitous. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to synthesize "perfectly"? It may seem stunning, but it's realistic! What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our extensible relationships and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for frictionless CAE are more well-understood if they are not real-time. If you harness vertically, you may have to target strategically. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7?