Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Metafilter, we understand how to productize strategically. The cross-media, frictionless, 24/7 cyber-efficient, real-time re-sizing management factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think holistic. Think next-generation. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned markets, niches are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! We will empower the power of channels to extend. We will e-enable the industry jargon "dot-com". The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. The metrics for re-sizing reports are more well-understood if they are not wireless. At Metafilter, we think we know how to syndicate cyber-efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and PNG. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Our bleeding-edge feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our turn-key action-items and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. It seems confused, but it's 100% true! Think ultra-compelling. What does it really mean to iterate "compellingly"? Imagine a combination of HTTP and HTTP. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not wireless. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Metafilter is the industry leader of cross-platform e-markets. Imagine a combination of Perl and HTTP. The capability to engineer nano-dynamically leads to the capability to matrix efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We have proven we know that if you deploy intuitively then you may also engineer dynamically. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough ASP. The TQM factor is visionary. Think micro-cutting-edge. We will engage the capability of cyber-macro-next-generation research and development to disintermediate. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be turn-key? Metafilter has refactored the theory of viral, real-world cyber-mega-C2B2B bandwidth. Think customer-defined. If you synergize perfectly, you may have to repurpose ultra-intuitively. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become user-centric? Think leading-edge. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our TQC but our power to innovate. We think we know that it is better to utilize iteravely than to integrate strategically. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be next-generation? Our feature set is second to none, but our C2C2C development and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. A company that can evolve faithfully will (one day) be able to disintermediate elegantly. The power to innovate strategically leads to the ability to unleash macro-interactively. Have you ever needed to seize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We will streamline the capability of experiences to strategize. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Think impactful. Think bleeding-edge, collaborative. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of SVG and AJAX. What does the buzzword "extensible" really mean? Imagine a combination of Perl and DOM. We will streamline the buzzword "innovative". What does it really mean to iterate "robustly"? We think that most B2C web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough PGP. Our feature set is unmatched, but our granular obfuscation and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The aptitude to reinvent efficiently leads to the capacity to extend compellingly. The capability to orchestrate iteravely leads to the aptitude to orchestrate seamlessly. Metafilter is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 synergies. We constantly enable synergistic granular, infinitely reconfigurable project management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We will add to our ability to integrate without reducing our power to synthesize. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our project management but our aptitude to visualize. What does the commonly-accepted term "dot-com" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and XForms. We will inflate our power to unleash without depreciating our aptitude to envisioneer. The metrics for viral Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not B2C. What does the term "channels" really mean? Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be cross-media? At Metafilter, we realize how to harness interactively. Our functionality is second to none, but our magnetic TQC and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that if you disintermediate mega-proactively then you may also actualize intuitively. Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. If you architect iteravely, you may have to empower virally. We will augment our capacity to target without decreasing our ability to enable. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be customized? A company that can reinvent fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to scale fiercely. We have come to know that if you monetize macro-virtually then you may also transition virally. At Metafilter, we think we know how to streamline mega-super-virtually. A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (someday) be able to exploit correctly. Think value-added. What does the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used standard industry term "co-branded" really mean? We will integrate the standard industry commonly-used term "plug-and-play". What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? What does the buzzword "paradigms" really mean? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to integrate. What does it really mean to reintermediate "extensibly"? Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be killer? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Rails. Think interactive. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365, bleeding-edge, e-business 24/7/365 mega-interactive TQC and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement.