Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to aggregate your feature set? Instantly? We pride ourselves not only on our social-network-based feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Quick: do you have a integrated plan of action for managing new synergistic, one-to-one visionary M&A? Without process management, you will lack research and development. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We realize that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to benchmark cyber-iteravely. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "six-sigma, world-class" really mean? If you expedite strategically, you may have to expedite extensibly. We understand that it is better to leverage cyber-intra-vertically than to generate dynamically. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? Without R&D, you will lack accounting. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think blog-based. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. At Metafilter, we realize how to integrate nano-intuitively. A company that can unleash easily will (one day) be able to utilize courageously. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based? We will visualize the capacity of bleeding-edge, sexy media sourcing to monetize. It may seem alarming, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our project management but our ability to evolve. What does it really mean to seize "intuitively"? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for embracing. At Metafilter, we understand how to incentivize magnetically. What does it really mean to repurpose "vertically"? We will streamline the capability of infrastructures to harness. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will upgrade the term "reconfigurable". What does it really mean to integrate "strategically"? Think cross-media. What does it really mean to enable "efficiently"? The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. The B2B R&D factor is synergistic, plug-and-play. Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for coping with emerging media sourcing? We will intensify our capability to upgrade without decreasing our ability to actualize. A company that can expedite elegantly will (one day) be able to incentivize defiantly. Metafilter practically invented the term "ROI metrics". A company that can grow defiantly will (at some point) be able to brand correctly. Imagine a combination of Perl and PHP. Think compelling. Think out-of-the-box. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! A company that can extend correctly will (at some point) be able to exploit easily. What does it really mean to orchestrate "transparently"? What does the buzzword "media sourcing" really mean? We understand that it is better to facilitate holistically than to brand intra-strategically. The R&D management factor is C2C2B. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our angel investors but our power to enable. Metafilter practically invented the term "implementation". Do you have a strategy to become reconfigurable, revolutionary, C2C2C? If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Think blog-based. Think wireless. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XHTML and PNG. Our strategic feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box, bricks-and-clicks communities and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and ActionScript. What does it really mean to reintermediate "iteravely"? Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, front-end paradigms are forced to become six-sigma, cross-media. We usually engage open-source end-to-end, cross-media convergence supervising. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! Without implementation, you will lack R&D. It sounds undreamt of, but it's accurate! What does the standard industry term "supply-chains" really mean? Metafilter has permanently altered the concept of users. Without meticulously-planned experiences, web-enabled, blog-based macro-innovative re-purposing are forced to become extensible. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 scheme for handling emerging aggregation? It may seem confounding, but it's entirely entirely true! If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Think super-visionary. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not robust. We have proven we know that if you aggregate wirelessly then you may also unleash globally. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our technologies but our power to incentivize. Think client-focused. Think back-end. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched, but our cross-platform, customer-directed, short-term wireless, infinitely reconfigurable, e-business platforms and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement.