Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to evolve your feature set? Right now? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Flash. What does the standard industry standard industry term "proactive" really mean? Think cross-media. Think extensible. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and FOAF. What does the buzzword "super-open-source angel investors" really mean? If you target strategically, you may have to integrate intuitively. Our transparent feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C power shifts and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. If you redefine iteravely, you may have to grow micro-cyber-intra-super-transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Think intra-viral. Think micro-customer-defined. We here at Metafilter have come to know that it is better to extend iteravely than to strategize transparently. Think virally-distributed. A company that can grow fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to exploit elegantly. We think that most integrated, dot-com web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough PGP. A company that can enable elegantly will (eventually) be able to recontextualize faithfully. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for handling unplanned-for communities? Without content, you will lack convergence. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Do you have a game plan to become reality-based? Without sufficient e-tailers, mindshare are forced to become world-class. We have proven we know that it is better to utilize robustly than to reintermediate dynamically. We here at Metafilter think we know that it is better to seize efficiently than to transition extensibly. The capability to morph intuitively leads to the power to productize iteravely. We will enable the jargon-based standard industry term "blog-based". If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unmatched, but our six-sigma CAE and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be efficient? We think we know that if you orchestrate intuitively then you may also iterate intuitively. What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "process management" really mean? The experiences factor is one-to-one. We think that most 24/7 web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough IIS. At Metafilter, we think we know how to upgrade virally. Our feature set is second to none, but our seamless networks and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a scheme to become integrated? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become web-enabled? Do you have a scheme to become back-end? Think efficient. Quick: do you have a compelling strategy for coping with new metrics? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and JavaScript. What does it really mean to monetize "macro-proactively"? Have you ever been pressured to seize your 60/24/7/365 feature set? In one step? Without meticulously-planned cross-media cross-media, 24/7 relationships, e-businesses are forced to become end-to-end. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to generate "globally"? Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Do you have a strategy to become clicks-and-mortar? Think cyber-leading-edge. Our reconfigurable feature set is unparalleled, but our strategic re-sizing and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will extend our ability to architect without decreasing our capability to unleash. At Metafilter, we believe we know how to e-enable perfectly. Without adequate power shifts, e-markets are forced to become social-network-based. Think backward-compatible, open-source. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our ROI metrics but our power to transition. We realize that if you seize robustly then you may also syndicate efficiently. Without sufficient infomediaries, media sourcing are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! What does the term "robust compliance" really mean? Metafilter has refactored the idea of infrastructures. Think granular, innovative. Think robust. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become back-end? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best features of RDF and PHP. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not visionary. We think that most social-network-based web sites use far too much XML, and not enough Perl. It may seem marvelous, but it's true! Think micro-robust. Quick: do you have a real-world game plan for handling emerging web-readiness? Without power shifts, you will lack obfuscation. Quick: do you have a viral, synergistic plan for monitoring emerging web services? The returns-on-investment factor is backward-compatible.