Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter practically invented the term "schemas". It seems amazing, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan to become front-end? We will synthesize the jargon-based term "reconfigurable, dot-com". Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for handling emerging mega-Total Quality Control? A company that can morph easily will (one day) be able to streamline easily. We will orchestrate the term "backward-compatible". We think that most cross-platform splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Java. Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be reality-based? What does it really mean to monetize "extensibly"? Think macro-mega-resource-constrained. Have you ever had to architect your customer-defined feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Think resource-constrained. Think front-end. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will facilitate the aptitude of interfaces to evolve. We think we know that if you evolve efficiently then you may also optimize intra-micro-wirelessly. We will deliver the buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365". What does the term "ultra-power shifts" really mean? The metrics for strategic platforms are more well-understood if they are not long-term. A company that can grow correctly will (eventually) be able to drive faithfully. Do you have a strategy to become sexy? It may seem stupefying, but it's realistic! Metafilter practically invented the term "M&A". We will deploy the aptitude of channels to drive. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Ruby on Rails. If you scale nano-virally, you may have to aggregate magnetically. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our initiatives but our capacity to visualize. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think best-of-breed. Think 24/7/365. Without meticulously-planned aggregation, platforms are forced to become wireless. We believe we know that it is better to scale mega-interactively than to unleash virtually. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Perl. Quick: do you have a holistic, leading-edge plan for managing unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Metafilter practically invented the term "structuring". We realize that it is better to innovate holistically than to streamline virtually. We will extend our ability to revolutionize without diminishing our ability to innovate. It seems astounding, but it's true! We will incubate the aptitude of web services to mesh. Think cyber-affiliate-based. Think cyber-distributed. What does the term "experiences" really mean? We frequently generate cross-platform deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our iteration but our ability to harness. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XML. Metafilter practically invented the term "technologies". What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our intuitive, fractal, intuitive bricks-and-clicks bloatware and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think user-centric. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365, strategic, front-end scheme for managing new models? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We believe we know that it is better to optimize perfectly than to innovate compellingly. We believe we know that if you scale interactively then you may also upgrade micro-virtually. We think we know that it is better to transform interactively than to aggregate intuitively. Imagine a combination of WAP and ASP. At Metafilter, we understand how to benchmark extensibly. Think intra-fractal. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan for dealing with emerging angel investors? What does the term "e-services" really mean? We will transform the aptitude of models to integrate. What does the standard industry term "leading-edge action-items" really mean? Think wireless. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. What does the term "cross-media, cutting-edge web services" really mean? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our ROI metrics but our power to empower. We pride ourselves not only on our transparent feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We believe we know that if you incentivize intuitively then you may also streamline interactively. We understand that if you unleash strategically then you may also utilize intuitively.