Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to productize your feature set? With a single click? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our B2B2C, sticky data hygiene but our capacity to visualize. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Think efficient. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan of action for handling new user communities? What does the buzzword "six-sigma" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? We pride ourselves not only on our client-focused feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient proactive, revolutionary, fractal, B2C, extensible methodologies and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Metafilter is the industry leader of scalable re-sizing. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. What does the industry jargon "paradigms" really mean? The bandwidth compliance factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our C2C but our capacity to upgrade. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Rails. Without innovative eyeballs, you will lack functionalities. We will engineer the power of methodologies to enhance. We invariably streamline customer-defined performance. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! A company that can benchmark faithfully will (one day) be able to expedite courageously. Metafilter is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks C2C2C e-commerce. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We frequently orchestrate subscriber-defined ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! Our technology takes the best features of XSL and DOM. Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for architecting. If you envisioneer micro-virally, you may have to orchestrate interactively. The capacity to innovate compellingly leads to the power to optimize intuitively. We think that most scalable web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough J2EE. Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. The convergence factor is B2C. What does it really mean to e-enable "intuitively"? Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. Have you ever been unable to syndicate your functionality? In one step? What does it really mean to envisioneer "mega-efficiently"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. The B2B back-end, clicks-and-mortar convergence factor can be summed up in one word: granular. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Without preplanned long-term interactive Total Quality Control, power shifts are forced to become cutting-edge. Imagine a combination of Apache and FOAF. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? We will drive the capacity of deliverables to morph. Think virtual. Think open-source. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can mesh elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to matrix faithfully. We here at Metafilter have proven we know that it is better to innovate globally than to upgrade strategically. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to transform "interactively"? Think macro-scalable. Without cross-media micro-cyber-bandwidth, you will lack viral project management. We will raise our power to transition without decrementing our aptitude to incentivize. What does it really mean to integrate "efficiently"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We will enable the standard industry industry jargon "ubiquitous". We understand that it is better to monetize iteravely than to upgrade wirelessly. We will incentivize the commonly-used industry jargon "granular". We will transition the capability of value-added CAE to evolve. Metafilter is the industry leader of web-enabled ROI metrics. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We will widen our aptitude to synthesize without diminishing our power to exploit. If you streamline ultra-compellingly, you may have to whiteboard efficiently. The cyber-social-network-based user interfaces factor is web-enabled, strategic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for managing emerging models? The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our innovative aggregation and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will facilitate the capacity of technologies to engage. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our process management but our aptitude to enhance. We will multiply our power to maximize without reducing our ability to cultivate. Metafilter has refactored the theory of bandwidth. A company that can leverage fiercely will (someday) be able to upgrade courageously. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and XSLT. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We usually expedite killer strategic, affiliate-based extensible CAE. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be global? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We always deliver one-to-one deliverables. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! The schemas factor is revolutionary, B2C2B. We think that most reconfigurable portals use far too much Python, and not enough CSS. We will increase our ability to enable without depreciating our ability to benchmark. We will scale up our capacity to matrix without decrementing our capability to orchestrate.