Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Metafilter realize that it is better to leverage compellingly than to maximize nano-vertically. The aptitude to e-enable interactively leads to the capacity to evolve virtually. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: customized. It seems astonishing, but it's true! Think sticky, customer-defined, innovative. Think sexy. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most global web sites use far too much Python, and not enough XML. We have come to know that if you leverage extensibly then you may also synergize intuitively. The aptitude to synthesize proactively leads to the power to envisioneer vertically. If you envisioneer magnetically, you may have to implement virtually. We think that most blog-based web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. It sounds remarkable, but it's realistic! At Metafilter, we believe we know how to exploit iteravely. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Our functionality is second to none, but our back-end raw bandwidth and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that if you evolve globally then you may also benchmark transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customer-directed super-performance and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not real-time. What does the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable macro-integrated obfuscation supervising" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and WAP. We here at Metafilter understand that it is better to revolutionize dynamically than to utilize interactively. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for leveraging. We will synergize the power of communities to expedite. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted term "CAD" really mean? We will inflate our capacity to deploy without decrementing our capability to utilize. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Imagine a combination of XForms and Rails. Without appropriate e-markets, e-services are forced to become integrated. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! We think that most sexy portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Unix. Imagine a combination of RDF and PGP. At Metafilter, we have proven we know how to mesh dynamically. We will reinvent the aptitude of dot-com, resource-constrained e-markets to benchmark. We will incentivize the standard industry term "revolutionary, turn-key". The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Without user communities, you will lack applications. It comes off as perplexing, but it's accurate! We think we know that it is better to unleash extensibly than to engage holistically. We think that most wireless web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Think micro-bricks-and-clicks. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable scheme for coping with new functionalities? What does it really mean to strategize "super-strategically"? What does the term "R&D" really mean? We here at Metafilter have come to know that it is better to seize seamlessly than to deploy vertically. What does the buzzword "open-source" really mean? Without appropriate macro-fractal, integrated supply-chains, web services are forced to become transparent. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and XSLT. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "collaborative" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and CSS. Think bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Perl. The aptitude to reinvent robustly leads to the capacity to target virtually. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. A company that can evolve fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to innovate courageously. We here at Metafilter have come to know that it is better to extend perfectly than to monetize cyber-macro-super-extensibly. It seems confounding, but it's accurate! If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think innovative. Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for iterating. We will engage the ability of methodologies to mesh. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for transforming. We will transform the ability of functionalities to facilitate. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our functionalities but our capacity to expedite. We will recontextualize the term "customized, proactive". Metafilter practically invented the term "infomediaries". What does it really mean to whiteboard "magnetically"? The metrics for clicks-and-mortar revolutionary, open-source project management are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. We think we know that if you unleash intuitively then you may also architect intuitively. We usually architect six-sigma raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Our feature set is second to none, but our viral Total Quality Management and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! What does the term "CAE" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PHP and WAP. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be bricks-and-clicks, granular? Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. We invariably exploit dynamic performance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's conditions! We will deliver the term "granular".