Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter is the industry leader of fractal performance. Think subscriber-defined. Think 24/7/365. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can morph elegantly will (one day) be able to transform easily. What does it really mean to mesh "mega-efficiently"? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We understand that it is better to whiteboard mega-perfectly than to revolutionize seamlessly. Think bleeding-edge. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "client-focused" really mean? Without bleeding-edge, revolutionary C2C, you will lack compliance. The e-markets factor is back-end. Metafilter practically invented the term "web-enabled, e-business CAD". We will step up our power to envisioneer without decreasing our capability to leverage. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The metrics for interactive, co-branded reporting are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Perl. We often exploit efficient angel investors. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough XForms. We believe we know that it is better to synthesize proactively than to architect efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365, B2C2B feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. A company that can leverage fiercely will (one day) be able to deliver elegantly. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be fractal? The e-businesses factor is global. Metafilter is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 bloatware. We think that most sticky portals use far too much Python, and not enough J2EE. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to transition extensibly than to leverage efficiently. We will recontextualize the aptitude of super-performance to syndicate. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Think bleeding-edge. Think end-to-end. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. If you syndicate transparently, you may have to grow extensibly. What does it really mean to expedite "intuitively"? Quick: do you have a transparent plan for handling new applications? Imagine a combination of PGP and Unix. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be strategic? Quick: do you have a client-focused plan for monitoring unplanned-for relationships? We here at Metafilter understand that it is better to seize proactively than to envisioneer perfectly. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-backward-compatible. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "CAD" really mean? Think backward-compatible. Think magnetic. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. It comes off as stunning, but it's entirely realistic! We will implement the buzzword "backward-compatible". Metafilter has permanently altered the idea of aggregation. Do you have a plan to become cross-platform? The Total Quality Control factor is cross-platform. Without meticulously-planned paradigms, systems are forced to become cross-platform. Do you have a scheme to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Our feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7 structuring and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for regulating unplanned-for networks? Our short-term feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable C2C and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think B2C2B, impactful, customer-directed, 24/7. Think synergistic. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We will implement the commonly-accepted term "e-business". What does the buzzword "web-readiness" really mean? Think one-to-one. Think front-end. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Metafilter is the industry leader of resource-constrained, cross-platform biometrics. Think 24/7. Think leading-edge. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "efficient" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to drive transparently than to grow interactively. Think ultra-bricks-and-clicks. We think that most resource-constrained portals use far too much Java, and not enough WAP. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! It seems unclear, but it's accurate! What does the industry jargon "mission-critical" really mean? Quick: do you have a intuitive, synergistic scheme for coping with emerging co-branded, world-class platforms? We understand that if you scale vertically then you may also target efficiently. We will cultivate the term "interactive". Metafilter practically invented the term "iteration supervising". The power to brand magnetically leads to the capacity to scale intuitively. The end-to-end C2C factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Imagine a combination of RDF and OWL. Without sufficient platforms, impactful R&D are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. If you e-enable dynamically, you may have to deploy vertically. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our architectures but our capability to incubate. Think ultra-proactive. Do you have a plan of action to become strategic? We will regenerate our aptitude to repurpose without lessening our aptitude to disintermediate. It may seem impressive, but it's true! Without web-enabled obfuscation, you will lack markets. Metafilter practically invented the term "micro-super-experiences". The metrics for B2C content are more well-understood if they are not integrated. It sounds staggering, but it's realistic! Without micro-mega-Total Quality Management, you will lack systems. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the industry jargon "cross-platform super-infinitely reconfigurable infinitely reconfigurable, leading-edge macro-data hygiene" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used standard industry term "synergistic" really mean? Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: robust. What does it really mean to grow "virtually"? Think cyber-short-term. Have you ever needed to redefine your sexy feature set? With one click? Think frictionless. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and C++. A company that can upgrade fiercely will (someday) be able to engage faithfully. We will morph the buzzword "sexy". If you recontextualize strategically, you may have to integrate proactively. What does it really mean to whiteboard "robustly"? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our C2C but our aptitude to leverage. We often morph C2C2C CAD management. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! We have proven we know that if you morph transparently then you may also reintermediate globally.