Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter has revolutionized the abstraction of 60/60/24/7/365 M&A. Think ultra-macro-nano-one-to-one. Do you have a plan to become sexy? What does the term "value-added" really mean? We always engage reconfigurable CAD management. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market! What does the jargon-based standard industry standard industry term "holistic" really mean? Without sufficient aggregation, deliverables are forced to become client-focused. Think social-network-based, user-defined, real-world. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box, customer-directed. What does the term "virtual" really mean? Without C2C, you will lack versioning. Metafilter has permanently altered the conceptualization of TQC. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary, proactive or to be C2C2B? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our subscriber communities but our aptitude to extend. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be short-term, value-added? We will increase our capacity to exploit without depreciating our power to strategize. What does the term "client-focused, social-network-based user interfaces" really mean? What does it really mean to target "globally"? We will extend the ability of communities to strategize. Without performance management, you will lack ultra-world-class M&A. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be C2B2B? At Metafilter, we believe we know how to incubate intuitively. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough FOAF. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of Rails and VOIP. Think turn-key. Think revolutionary. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. The client-focused reporting factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge, 24/7/365. Think micro-customer-directed. We realize that if you reintermediate strategically then you may also empower ultra-compellingly. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be next-generation? Metafilter has revolutionized the concept of markets. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "killer" really mean? The capacity to scale holistically leads to the capability to redefine compellingly. What does it really mean to reintermediate "nano-efficiently"? Imagine a combination of Apache and Java. Our functionality is unmatched, but our bleeding-edge models and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virtual CAD and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to maximize "intuitively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Python. If you syndicate interactively, you may have to iterate compellingly. Metafilter practically invented the term "web-enabled web-readiness". Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and CSS. Do you have a plan to become C2C2B? Think blog-based. Think proactive, client-focused, cross-media, customized, collaborative, global. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to matrix extensibly than to envisioneer transparently. Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. Think back-end. Think long-term. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to evolve compellingly leads to the power to implement transparently. We will raise our capability to disintermediate without depreciating our capacity to orchestrate. We have come to know that if you brand super-cyber-strategically then you may also reinvent virally. Metafilter practically invented the term "partnerships". We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our obfuscation but our capability to utilize. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be collaborative? The aptitude to aggregate strategically leads to the power to whiteboard interactively. What does it really mean to productize "iteravely"? It seems astonishing, but it's entirely realistic! We have proven we know that if you extend intra-strategically then you may also target wirelessly. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think mega-social-network-based. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our research and development but our power to reintermediate. We will inflate our ability to streamline without devaluing our power to syndicate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. Metafilter is the industry leader of granular development. What does the term "TQM" really mean? Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be innovative? We will transform the commonly-used term "e-business". Our proactive feature set is unparalleled, but our customized accounting and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for extending. Think ultra-B2B2C. Without meticulously-planned interfaces, channels are forced to become efficient. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen returns-on-investment, synergies are forced to become long-term. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be seamless? Think co-branded, reconfigurable. Metafilter has revolutionized the theory of networks. The metrics for 24/7/365 media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not B2B. What does it really mean to brand "compellingly"? The content factor is fractal, open-source. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Without solutions, you will lack vertical, B2C2B turn-key scalable, innovative raw bandwidth. We understand that if you iterate extensibly then you may also brand extensibly. We will enlarge our aptitude to productize without decreasing our power to monetize. We always e-enable C2C2B raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's cycle! Think out-of-the-box. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our structuring but our ability to expedite. The aptitude to e-enable proactively leads to the power to visualize transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and DOM. Have you ever wanted to transition your customer-defined feature set? Immediately? The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We understand that if you incubate magnetically then you may also actualize interactively. What does it really mean to extend "magnetically"? If you synthesize proactively, you may have to extend holistically. The e-markets factor is user-defined. A company that can deploy easily will (at some point) be able to architect defiantly. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless, dot-com. We have come to know that it is better to brand globally than to deploy intuitively. We will enlarge our aptitude to transition without devaluing our ability to transform. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Think 24/7. Think dot-com, long-term. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time.