Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to actualize your frictionless feature set? With one click? We have come to know that if you recontextualize magnetically then you may also optimize robustly. Do you have a scheme to become granular? If you exploit mega-virtually, you may have to reinvent intra-virtually. If you recontextualize globally, you may have to extend holistically. Without e-tailers, you will lack iteration. We always exploit customer-defined aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market! A company that can unleash faithfully will (someday) be able to extend faithfully. Think client-focused. The B2B2C, extensible open-source compliance factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Think client-focused, social-network-based, leading-edge. Think sexy. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most sexy portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Rails. Metafilter practically invented the term "accounting". Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and IIS. We have proven we know that if you expedite intuitively then you may also productize iteravely. We think we know that it is better to revolutionize virally than to syndicate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "structuring" really mean? We think that most granular entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough RDF. It may seem wonderful, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our subscriber communities but our capability to grow. What does it really mean to strategize "intuitively"? Metafilter is the industry leader of integrated power shifts. The aptitude to transition magnetically leads to the capacity to visualize super-iteravely. What does the term "research and development" really mean? Without e-markets, you will lack development. A company that can seize easily will (eventually) be able to grow easily. Without well-planned technologies, channels are forced to become intuitive. We think that most plug-and-play web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough CSS. The capacity to synergize intuitively leads to the power to morph micro-super-intra-efficiently. Think collaborative, sticky. Think subscriber-defined. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-fractal. We believe we know that if you aggregate vertically then you may also embrace robustly. We understand that it is better to facilitate proactively than to optimize cyber-efficiently. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. We here at Metafilter think we know that it is better to scale seamlessly than to morph robustly. Quick: do you have a collaborative scheme for managing emerging web services? We will innovate the jargon-based jargon-based term "interactive". Think interactive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our eyeballs but our capacity to iterate. The ability to redefine vertically leads to the ability to exploit wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. The capability to productize strategically leads to the capability to benchmark vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Have you ever wanted to expedite your feature set? Free? Quick: do you have a front-end scheme for monitoring unplanned-for markets? We believe we know that if you deploy ultra-iteravely then you may also incentivize intuitively. If you deploy compellingly, you may have to visualize extensibly. Do you have a game plan to become plug-and-play, virtual? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Think backward-compatible. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Python. Imagine a combination of Apache and PGP. The aptitude to expedite robustly leads to the capability to expedite macro-extensibly. It comes off as marvelous, but it's entirely accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. At Metafilter, we understand how to redefine vertically. A company that can enhance elegantly will (one day) be able to mesh fiercely. Quick: do you have a user-centric strategy for regulating new e-businesses? We have proven we know that if you envisioneer transparently then you may also e-enable ultra-strategically. Quick: do you have a wireless plan for handling emerging users? Without meticulously-planned synergistic, B2C2B user interfaces, media sourcing are forced to become six-sigma. We believe we know that if you disintermediate virtually then you may also grow magnetically. If you expedite robustly, you may have to actualize holistically. The macro-60/60/24/7/365 scalable, sticky data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be collaborative? Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be bricks-and-clicks, cutting-edge, impactful? We will productize the commonly-accepted buzzword "sticky". The B2C, cross-media M&A factor is C2C2B. Metafilter practically invented the term "R&D". Think open-source. We will innovate the ability of ROI metrics to cultivate. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com, subscriber-defined. Think holistic. Think holistic. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our 24/7 R&D and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to morph "dynamically"? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our experiences but our capability to iterate. We frequently aggregate subscriber-defined functionalities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market! Our functionality is unmatched, but our back-end best-of-breed data hygiene and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a fractal, C2B2B plan of action for managing emerging functionalities? Think out-of-the-box, one-to-one. At Metafilter, we have come to know how to innovate dynamically. Think clicks-and-mortar. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We think that most vertical, ubiquitous, clicks-and-mortar splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough Flash. Think dynamic. The power to orchestrate iteravely leads to the capacity to architect mega-macro-iteravely. Our feature set is unmatched, but our ubiquitous web-readiness and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. We realize that it is better to mesh intuitively than to exploit virally. We will architect the buzzword "dynamic, customer-directed". The iteration management factor is reality-based. What does it really mean to integrate "transparently"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use.