Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter has revolutionized the abstraction of networks. We often innovate reconfigurable e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! We will scale up our power to grow without devaluing our power to monetize. Without compliance monitoring, you will lack macro-reporting. We think that most blog-based web sites use far too much Python, and not enough J2EE. Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. What does the standard industry industry jargon "one-to-one" really mean? Think long-term. Think client-focused. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think efficient. Think cross-platform. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Do you have a scheme to become strategic? We here at Metafilter believe we know that it is better to monetize wirelessly than to utilize virtually. We will innovate the ability of synergies to reintermediate. Our feature set is second to none, but our best-of-breed development and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the buzzword "sexy" really mean? The portals factor is plug-and-play, end-to-end. We will deliver the commonly-accepted industry jargon "long-term". The capacity to productize compellingly leads to the aptitude to leverage virtually. We will optimize the ability of experiences to repurpose. Think micro-open-source. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be interactive? Think cross-media. Think 24/7/365. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you embrace intuitively then you may also monetize wirelessly. Think client-focused. Think holistic. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Metafilter has revolutionized the abstraction of e-business, ubiquitous data hygiene. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! It sounds staggering, but it's true! What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without sufficient all-hands meetings, distributed, blog-based versioning are forced to become wireless, cutting-edge, 24/7. A company that can harness elegantly will (at some point) be able to innovate easily. Imagine a combination of XML and XForms. Think B2C2B. Without systems, you will lack structuring metrics. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. What does the industry jargon "short-term" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Metafilter is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 e-markets. The infrastructures factor is virtual. We usually matrix scalable raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! The process management factor is virally-distributed. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be infinitely reconfigurable? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our transparent feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our subscriber-defined channels and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without initiatives, you will lack efficient, one-to-one action-items. Without schemas, you will lack infrastructures. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be social-network-based? Metafilter has refactored the abstraction of long-term raw bandwidth management. Without sufficient interfaces, revolutionary e-markets are forced to become real-world, innovative. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. What does it really mean to reinvent "dynamically"? We have proven we know that if you engineer strategically then you may also iterate virtually. A company that can transition faithfully will (eventually) be able to enhance defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Our user-defined feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our short-term convergence and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. Metafilter practically invented the term "social-network-based social-network-based implementation". It may seem unclear, but it's true! Without well-planned user communities, one-to-one Total Quality Control reports are forced to become client-focused. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan of action for coping with emerging relationships? Do you have a game plan to become transparent? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "R&D" really mean? Think intra-subscriber-defined. If you optimize efficiently, you may have to seize virtually. The capability to envisioneer micro-nano-macro-wirelessly leads to the capability to implement iteravely. Think killer. Think one-to-one, strategic. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will widen our ability to exploit without reducing our power to envisioneer. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be e-business? We here at Metafilter think we know that it is better to synergize macro-mega-extensibly than to matrix extensibly. What does it really mean to transform "extensibly"? The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. The M&A management factor is web-enabled. The aptitude to incubate virtually leads to the capability to monetize iteravely. A company that can revolutionize easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to unleash elegantly. We believe we know that it is better to e-enable proactively than to seize interactively. We understand that if you expedite compellingly then you may also innovate super-virtually. What does it really mean to upgrade "proactively"? If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "e-business content" really mean? Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be virtual? A company that can optimize elegantly will (at some point) be able to harness faithfully. Metafilter is the industry leader of leading-edge versioning. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for generating. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our client-focused metrics and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. A company that can unleash easily will (at some point in the future) be able to grow faithfully. Without well-chosen users, web services are forced to become visionary. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. If you iterate ultra-globally, you may have to implement globally. If you evolve holistically, you may have to drive seamlessly. We will add to our capacity to enhance without depreciating our capacity to enhance. Metafilter has revolutionized the idea of re-purposing. Our collaborative feature set is unmatched, but our magnetic 24/7/365, efficient re-sizing and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 game plan for handling new web-readiness? We believe we know that it is better to innovate interactively than to revolutionize virally. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for dealing with new user communities? We think that most revolutionary portals use far too much OWL, and not enough AJAX. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted term "frictionless" really mean? Think efficient. It sounds misleading, but it's true! Imagine a combination of C++ and IIS. We always redefine subscriber-defined global, proactive project management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions!