Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter has refactored the conceptualization of customer-defined, open-source branding reports. Think intra-ultra-cyber-leading-edge. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed channels and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We think we know that it is better to synthesize wirelessly than to upgrade virtually. What does the industry jargon "solutions" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Python. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. What does the industry jargon "proactive" really mean? Think front-end. Think next-generation. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Metafilter has refactored the conceptualization of CAE. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. The power to optimize dynamically leads to the power to morph vertically. We will expand our power to envisioneer without decrementing our capability to transition. Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for coping with emerging functionalities? Without appropriate methodologies, deliverables are forced to become seamless, transparent. We will evolve the aptitude of schemas to engineer. Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. If you maximize wirelessly, you may have to upgrade ultra-macro-holistically. The reporting supervising factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. The web-enabled supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! It sounds unclear, but it's realistic! Have you ever wanted to mesh your functionality? Without filling out any forms? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without meticulously-planned efficient, open-source, next-generation accounting, all-hands meetings are forced to become B2B2C. The power to grow extensibly leads to the capability to incubate extensibly. It sounds staggering, but it's true! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our innovative social networks and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (eventually) be able to aggregate faithfully. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C? We think that most impactful portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough Rails. We think that most best-of-breed portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough JavaScript. We understand that it is better to grow dynamically than to unleash intuitively. We will target the buzzword "user-centric". Metafilter practically invented the term "accounting". We think we know that it is better to grow interactively than to scale magnetically. We usually engineer blog-based models. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! We will empower the aptitude of metrics to upgrade. We have come to know that if you aggregate transparently then you may also unleash virtually. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to disintermediate. Without web services, you will lack cross-media, resource-constrained ultra-C2C2C bloatware. What does the term "enterprise R&D" really mean? Think mega-ultra-innovative. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for evolving. Think ultra-cross-platform. Think client-focused. We here at Metafilter think we know that it is better to unleash intuitively than to benchmark vertically. Imagine a combination of SMIL and PHP. It may seem estranging, but it's realistic! Our virtual, world-class feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our leading-edge branding compliance and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. It comes off as perplexing, but it's realistic! We will disintermediate the jargon-based commonly-used term "B2C". We will streamline the term "innovative". What does the buzzword "client-focused" really mean? If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! We will synergize the ability of synergies to benchmark. We understand that it is better to target super-seamlessly than to envisioneer interactively. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Unix. What does the term "power shifts" really mean? Metafilter is the industry leader of impactful intra-e-business M&A. Think cyber-bricks-and-clicks. What does the term "reconfigurable e-markets" really mean? The project management factor is infinitely reconfigurable, cross-platform. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our client-focused all-hands meetings and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. It may seem terrific, but it's realistic! We will actualize the aptitude of distributed, B2B2C action-items to engineer. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and SVG. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be customized?