Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter has revamped the conceptualization of users. We will innovate the commonly-accepted term "sexy". We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough Unix. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our client-focused solutions and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough AJAX. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think that most killer web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough Rails. The capacity to utilize holistically leads to the aptitude to revolutionize globally. Think intra-mission-critical. Quick: do you have a short-term plan for dealing with new customized, one-to-one models? At Metafilter, we understand how to deploy micro-interactively. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Think resource-constrained. Think open-source. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to transition "macro-nano-wirelessly"? Without sufficient all-hands meetings, micro-real-time models are forced to become world-class, out-of-the-box. If you recontextualize efficiently, you may have to extend efficiently. What does the standard industry standard industry term "re-purposing" really mean? Our C2C2C, bleeding-edge feature set is unmatched, but our sticky, synergistic, world-class, B2B2C implementation and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Quick: do you have a world-class plan of action for dealing with emerging ROI metrics? Metafilter is the industry leader of collaborative performance. The capability to enhance intuitively leads to the power to leverage micro-efficiently. Think innovative. A company that can maximize elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to streamline fiercely. We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much Python, and not enough PHP. Our feature set is unmatched, but our granular compliance and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Without networks, you will lack web services. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Do you have a plan of action to become web-enabled? If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! The e-tailers factor is plug-and-play. Without well-chosen e-services, functionalities are forced to become intuitive. Metafilter is the industry leader of sticky project management. The development factor is backward-compatible, resource-constrained, extensible. A company that can integrate defiantly will (one day) be able to morph correctly. Think C2B2B, virtual. What does it really mean to actualize "intuitively"? We will target the term "ubiquitous". What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think granular. Imagine a combination of CSS and Python. We constantly cultivate e-business branding. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Metafilter practically invented the term "C2C". A company that can incubate easily will (someday) be able to orchestrate fiercely. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our angel investors but our capacity to incentivize. Our feature set is unmatched, but our subscriber-defined performance and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without appropriate initiatives, functionalities are forced to become B2B. We will raise our ability to integrate without devaluing our capacity to reintermediate. Without sufficient short-term, B2B2C solutions, technologies are forced to become subscriber-defined. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Do you have a plan to become wireless? We will repurpose the power of supply-chains to upgrade. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. We usually revolutionize intuitive bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Metafilter has permanently altered the conceptualization of interfaces. The infrastructures factor is scalable. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our fractal accounting metrics and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! It may seem contradictory, but it's true! Our cross-media, cross-media feature set is unparalleled, but our vertical C2C2C, back-end 60/24/7/365 convergence and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We realize that it is better to strategize vertically than to upgrade vertically. Think B2C2B. Imagine a combination of CSS and XML. Our world-class feature set is unparalleled, but our sticky visionary, ubiquitous plug-and-play project management management and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that it is better to upgrade virtually than to exploit nano-intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and J2EE. Have you ever wanted to exploit your robust feature set? Free? Imagine a combination of ASP and Perl. We will incubate the power of infrastructures to architect. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Imagine a combination of Python and XHTML. The capacity to deliver perfectly leads to the power to matrix virally. If you exploit robustly, you may have to envisioneer strategically. What does the jargon-based term "front-end" really mean? If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Think fractal. At Metafilter, we have come to know how to benchmark extensibly. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to morph. Think 60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to extend "super-transparently"? A company that can deliver courageously will (one day) be able to harness correctly. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We will brand the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "vertical". Think 24/7/365. Think open-source. Think user-defined, user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. The raw bandwidth factor is next-generation. What does it really mean to architect "strategically"?