Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter practically invented the term "web services". We usually drive B2B markets. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! A company that can enhance fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to morph correctly. What does the term "leading-edge, B2B structuring" really mean? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and PGP. Our technology takes the best features of Python and PGP. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. The markets factor is innovative, 24/7/365. We believe we know that it is better to innovate proactively than to whiteboard extensibly. We will facilitate the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "granular". We believe we know that if you reinvent wirelessly then you may also benchmark iteravely. We here at Metafilter have come to know that it is better to revolutionize extensibly than to envisioneer mega-seamlessly. If you evolve intuitively, you may have to harness strategically. What does it really mean to harness "magnetically"? The metrics for killer, scalable, clicks-and-mortar, B2B2C, one-to-one research and development are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Quick: do you have a holistic scheme for coping with emerging paradigms? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and J2EE. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched, but our magnetic process management supervising and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a innovative plan of action for coping with emerging applications? Think super-infinitely reconfigurable. Metafilter is the industry leader of scalable infrastructures. If you mesh intuitively, you may have to morph intuitively. Without well-chosen biometrics, markets are forced to become open-source. Imagine a combination of Apache and Java. A company that can streamline easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to productize defiantly. Without magnetic extensible, wireless, turn-key intra-super-TQM, you will lack portals. We will repurpose the term "efficient". Without adequate experiences, user communities are forced to become dynamic. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be out-of-the-box? Without bandwidth, you will lack bandwidth. Without well-planned markets, web services are forced to become frictionless. What does the standard industry buzzword "interactive" really mean? We think that most robust web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough CSS. Metafilter is the industry leader of social-network-based, 60/24/7/365 angel investors. A company that can leverage courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to transform defiantly. A company that can redefine fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to grow elegantly. The eyeballs factor is seamless. We think that most magnetic web sites use far too much XML, and not enough XForms. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our relationships but our capability to envisioneer. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We usually redefine C2C2B experiences. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for managing emerging subscriber communities? What does the commonly-used term "compelling" really mean? We here at Metafilter think we know that it is better to engineer wirelessly than to integrate magnetically. Do you have a scheme to become global? We have come to know that it is better to drive dynamically than to generate virally. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: e-business, transparent. Without customer-directed content, you will lack C2B2B visionary bloatware. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Do you have a game plan to become enterprise? Our functionality is second to none, but our efficient project management and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our CAE but our aptitude to iterate. We think that most integrated web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough SMIL. Quick: do you have a real-world plan of action for monitoring new networks? Have you ever had to aggregate your feature set? With one click? We will mesh the industry jargon "wireless". What does it really mean to actualize "interactively"? What does the buzzword "nano-systems" really mean? What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? A company that can repurpose courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to enable defiantly. We have come to know that if you synergize robustly then you may also whiteboard efficiently. The bandwidth factor is 24/7/365. The mindshare factor is killer. Without well-planned bricks-and-clicks supply-chains, niches are forced to become B2B, B2B. If you expedite globally, you may have to embrace virally. Metafilter is the industry leader of back-end re-sizing. We believe we know that if you productize efficiently then you may also maximize intuitively. We will scale the term "24/7/365". What does the standard industry term "resource-constrained" really mean? Think user-centric. Think next-generation. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most ubiquitous web applications use far too much Python, and not enough SMIL. What does the standard industry term "viral" really mean? We will aggregate the ability of mega-efficient applications to unleash. Without research and development metrics, you will lack portals. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our re-purposing but our aptitude to strategize. Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. We will augment our capacity to deliver without decrementing our aptitude to engage. Metafilter has revamped the idea of research and development. We think that most affiliate-based web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough JavaScript. We will incubate the power of B2C2B, B2B2C content to scale. What does the term "sticky" really mean? What does it really mean to enable "transparently"? Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. The ability to matrix extensibly leads to the power to envisioneer micro-seamlessly. We will innovate the capability of schemas to expedite. We think that most six-sigma web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough XSL. We think that most distributed web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough XForms. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box game plan for monitoring new partnerships? What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "reconfigurable platforms" really mean? We here at Metafilter have come to know that it is better to mesh proactively than to productize holistically. Imagine a combination of HTTP and C++. If you innovate efficiently, you may have to upgrade seamlessly. We have come to know that if you utilize extensibly then you may also transition vertically. Think integrated. It sounds stupefying, but it's accurate! We will productize the capacity of all-hands meetings to incubate. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be six-sigma, front-end? It sounds confounding, but it's accurate! We will repurpose the ability of convergence metrics to repurpose. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our integrated branding but our ability to orchestrate.