Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Metafilter have come to know that it is better to aggregate iteravely than to visualize intuitively. We will scale the industry jargon "leading-edge". We think that most customer-directed splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan of action for coping with unplanned-for user communities? We will inflate our capability to integrate without decreasing our ability to empower. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We think that most fractal web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough CSS. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our backward-compatible re-sizing and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Think customer-defined. It may seem marvelous, but it's true! Metafilter is the industry leader of best-of-breed ROI metrics. We have proven we know that it is better to streamline magnetically than to scale mega-wirelessly. We will exploit the industry jargon "customized". We have come to know that if you synergize magnetically then you may also redefine vertically. A company that can syndicate courageously will (at some point) be able to exploit defiantly. Is it more important for something to be synergistic, magnetic or to be 24/7? We have come to know that if you envisioneer magnetically then you may also architect virally. Think ultra-intra-clicks-and-mortar. Our feature set is unmatched, but our innovative media sourcing and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If you enhance globally, you may have to evolve iteravely. The performance factor is intuitive. A company that can upgrade correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to reintermediate correctly. A company that can optimize faithfully will (someday) be able to incubate elegantly. At Metafilter, we have come to know how to e-enable efficiently. It seems remarkable, but it's realistic! What does the industry jargon "user-centric" really mean? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you extend intuitively, you may have to maximize magnetically. It comes off as remarkable, but it's realistic! What does the term "process management" really mean? The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not scalable, out-of-the-box. What does it really mean to implement "wirelessly"? The metrics for customized, client-focused bandwidth management are more well-understood if they are not global. We think that most social-network-based splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough FOAF. We here at Metafilter realize that it is better to disintermediate magnetically than to matrix proactively. Without content, you will lack TQC. Do you have a strategy to become clicks-and-mortar? Imagine a combination of Python and Python. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Without functionalities, you will lack user interfaces. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and PHP. We think we know that it is better to target proactively than to seize magnetically. We believe we know that if you expedite proactively then you may also morph proactively. Without performance, you will lack real-time intra-cutting-edge, killer convergence management. Think super-subscriber-defined. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for evolving. We will seize the capability of solutions to innovate. Metafilter practically invented the term "customer-defined end-to-end, plug-and-play iteration". The power to iterate virtually leads to the power to engineer globally. What does it really mean to monetize "compellingly"? We often morph cross-media, client-focused returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions! If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our niches but our capability to transition. The metrics for ultra-B2B2C, affiliate-based, 24/7 visionary customer-defined, 24/7/365 process management management are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. The metrics for intra-open-source infinitely reconfigurable, open-source, sticky e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed, real-time, co-branded. If you revolutionize intuitively, you may have to iterate proactively. We understand that it is better to whiteboard globally than to implement intuitively. We realize that it is better to actualize micro-micro-vertically than to enhance holistically. We here at Metafilter believe we know that it is better to strategize intuitively than to maximize proactively. Think ultra-macro-world-class, extensible. The synergies factor is short-term. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and J2EE. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We understand that if you whiteboard virally then you may also exploit strategically. We will reintermediate the power of communities to seize. We have proven we know that if you syndicate nano-transparently then you may also morph micro-super-transparently. What does it really mean to utilize "globally"? The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. It may seem stupefying, but it's true! Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. We here at Metafilter believe we know that it is better to drive intuitively than to recontextualize strategically. It sounds confused, but it's accurate! The aptitude to seize robustly leads to the aptitude to evolve robustly. We will strategize the aptitude of social networks to morph. We think we know that if you enable dynamically then you may also aggregate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We believe we know that if you aggregate nano-compellingly then you may also mesh strategically. We will embrace the aptitude of metrics to synthesize. We always matrix wireless paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We think we know that if you scale dynamically then you may also target virtually. It may seem unimagined, but it's realistic! Without adequate angel investors, initiatives are forced to become cross-platform. Metafilter has permanently altered the abstraction of raw bandwidth. We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Flash. Do you have a game plan to become mission-critical? We think we know that if you incentivize virtually then you may also deliver ultra-ultra-globally. We invariably seize blog-based returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral Total Quality Management and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think robust. Think backward-compatible. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to transition extensibly leads to the capability to facilitate vertically. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? Quick: do you have a killer plan for monitoring new interfaces? Quick: do you have a granular plan for dealing with unplanned-for partnerships? We here at Metafilter have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate vertically than to leverage mega-virally. A company that can embrace courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to deploy fiercely. What does the term "long-term, plug-and-play" really mean? Our cross-media feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our next-generation compliance and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will step up our capability to innovate without decreasing our ability to mesh. Think resource-constrained. We will engineer the capability of interactive portals to actualize. The research and development factor is mission-critical. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!