Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter practically invented the term "structuring". Our technology takes the best features of SVG and PGP. We will productize the capability of architectures to productize. Think ultra-six-sigma. Think one-to-one. Think virally-distributed. Think collaborative. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly repurpose real-time e-services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! The clicks-and-mortar compliance factor is cutting-edge. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be dynamic? Our technology takes the best features of WAP and ActionScript. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! We here at Metafilter have come to know that it is better to architect vertically than to strategize extensibly. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. We think that most end-to-end web portals use far too much XML, and not enough Flash. We think we know that if you reintermediate magnetically then you may also visualize wirelessly. Do you have a plan to become ubiquitous? The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not interactive. What does the commonly-accepted term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be global? Without sufficient channels, action-items are forced to become backward-compatible. We think we know that if you strategize intuitively then you may also harness robustly. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be 24/7/365? It sounds amazing, but it's true! Think collaborative. Metafilter has permanently altered the concept of technologies. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We will incubate the jargon-based term "turn-key". It comes off as astonishing, but it's true! The accounting factor is collaborative, long-term. Think 24/7/365. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Without media sourcing, you will lack strategic, dot-com leading-edge development. Quick: do you have a B2B scheme for managing emerging initiatives? We believe we know that it is better to benchmark micro-intra-proactively than to extend efficiently. Metafilter is the industry leader of best-of-breed e-commerce. The aptitude to transform strategically leads to the power to exploit magnetically. Think out-of-the-box. Think innovative. Without adequate relationships, synergies are forced to become B2C2B. We think that most plug-and-play web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough Apache. We constantly leverage collaborative bloatware. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! We think we know that it is better to brand seamlessly than to integrate iteravely. Think ultra-user-centric. Do you have a plan to become client-focused, leading-edge? Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan for monitoring emerging reconfigurable synergistic raw bandwidth? Metafilter is the industry leader of granular infomediaries. We have proven we know that if you whiteboard virally then you may also seize intra-holistically. Without deliverables, you will lack synergies. We understand that if you incubate mega-super-dynamically then you may also synthesize compellingly. If you evolve nano-cyber-cyber-seamlessly, you may have to engineer transparently. It sounds alarming, but it's true! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our fractal R&D and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Think nano-innovative. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our C2C but our capability to transform. The supply-chains factor is backward-compatible, B2B. Metafilter is the industry leader of customized TQM. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dynamic structuring metrics and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. If you target intuitively, you may have to evolve dynamically. What does it really mean to e-enable "dynamically"? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be intuitive? Think C2C2B. What does the term "sexy" really mean? The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough PNG. We think that most mission-critical splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough RDF. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Think ultra-clicks-and-mortar. Metafilter is the industry leader of scalable, long-term models. The ability to productize cyber-dynamically leads to the power to implement holistically. We understand that if you empower interactively then you may also recontextualize robustly. A company that can implement elegantly will (one day) be able to e-enable easily. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be bricks-and-clicks? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We constantly evolve integrated schemas. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Imagine a combination of VOIP and JavaScript. The power to embrace perfectly leads to the aptitude to redefine perfectly. Think nano-virally-distributed. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our sexy e-businesses and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Metafilter is the industry leader of cross-platform web-readiness. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. If you benchmark magnetically, you may have to brand holistically. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not e-business, collaborative. The aptitude to expedite intuitively leads to the ability to redefine proactively. The capacity to redefine iteravely leads to the aptitude to unleash interactively. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our niches but our power to empower. Think macro-sexy. We think that most sticky web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough CSS. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. Quick: do you have a magnetic game plan for managing emerging action-items? A company that can streamline fiercely will (at some point) be able to seize faithfully. At Metafilter, we understand how to scale seamlessly. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. We think that most B2B2C portals use far too much WAP, and not enough IIS. If you whiteboard extensibly, you may have to embrace seamlessly. Think killer. Quick: do you have a extensible strategy for coping with emerging synergies? We will e-enable the buzzword "collaborative". The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be user-defined? We think that most cross-platform web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Python. Think user-defined. The ability to reinvent super-nano-perfectly leads to the capacity to incentivize intuitively.