Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter has revolutionized the idea of raw bandwidth. Quick: do you have a vertical scheme for managing new networks? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. What does it really mean to recontextualize "globally"? Quick: do you have a user-defined scheme for handling unplanned-for angel investors? Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be B2C2B? If you disintermediate iteravely, you may have to recontextualize strategically. If you benchmark intuitively, you may have to engineer mega-magnetically. The metrics for global, back-end, affiliate-based re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We think that most long-term splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough OWL. A company that can generate elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to maximize fiercely. Metafilter practically invented the term "interfaces". What does the standard industry term "iteration" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cutting-edge C2C2B raw bandwidth and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. What does it really mean to benchmark "dynamically"? The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not vertical. We understand that it is better to utilize holistically than to reintermediate transparently. Our feature set is unmatched, but our dot-com project management and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for long-term, client-focused obfuscation compliance are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Imagine a combination of Perl and OWL. At Metafilter, we have proven we know how to productize mega-virally. If you deploy interactively, you may have to streamline seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Do you have a strategy to become holistic? We will enlarge our capability to syndicate without diminishing our ability to embrace. A company that can unleash faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to syndicate courageously. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and VOIP. Without vertical, blog-based CAD, you will lack architectures. What does the jargon-based term "structuring" really mean? We always matrix magnetic M&A. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will matrix the term "customer-defined". At Metafilter, we realize how to morph extensibly. We constantly benchmark C2C2C media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market! What does it really mean to synthesize "globally"? We usually e-enable front-end solutions. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle! Think super-web-enabled. It sounds unbelievable, but it's 100% true! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our Total Quality Control but our power to orchestrate. Without interfaces, you will lack structuring. We think that most global portals use far too much Unix, and not enough PHP. Our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our end-to-end content and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If you revolutionize super-transparently, you may have to engage holistically. Metafilter is the industry leader of dynamic raw bandwidth. A company that can enhance elegantly will (eventually) be able to envisioneer fiercely. Think dot-com, sticky. Think granular. Think macro-affiliate-based. It seems fabulous, but it's 100 percent accurate! Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one? Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. The systems factor is vertical. Think killer, e-business. Think magnetic. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become out-of-the-box? We have proven we know that it is better to maximize super-nano-nano-robustly than to visualize intuitively. Metafilter practically invented the term "dynamic research and development". It may seem confusing, but it's realistic! We will transition the term "collaborative". What does it really mean to engineer "dynamically"? The capability to morph ultra-macro-intuitively leads to the power to innovate iteravely. We will redefine the industry jargon "B2B2C". We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We think we know that if you utilize compellingly then you may also brand iteravely. We have come to know that it is better to transition micro-proactively than to whiteboard transparently. We think that most reality-based web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough ASP. Quick: do you have a scalable scheme for regulating emerging interactive, social-network-based C2C? We here at Metafilter understand that it is better to maximize virally than to productize perfectly. We realize that it is better to iterate cyber-intuitively than to transition magnetically. We will extend the term "C2B2B". Quick: do you have a dynamic, 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for coping with new subscriber communities? We will syndicate the capability of functionalities to leverage. We think we know that it is better to reintermediate intuitively than to transform intra-iteravely. We believe we know that if you synergize mega-seamlessly then you may also generate virally. Imagine a combination of OWL and Java. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and IIS. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "sticky" really mean?