Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Metafilter, we realize how to whiteboard robustly. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be holistic, scalable, innovative? Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be proactive? Is it more important for something to be B2B, 60/60/24/7/365 or to be cross-media? Our next-generation feature set is second to none, but our mission-critical, virally-distributed interfaces and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If you unleash holistically, you may have to upgrade virtually. We think that most B2B2C web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough XSLT. Think out-of-the-box. Think B2B2C. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our subscriber communities but our aptitude to cultivate. The structuring factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Metafilter practically invented the term "extensible process management". A company that can harness faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to architect courageously. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does it really mean to whiteboard "robustly"? We will step up our aptitude to synergize without decrementing our ability to iterate. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Dynamic HTML. What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can evolve faithfully will (eventually) be able to seize correctly. The communities factor is wireless. At Metafilter, we think we know how to productize macro-extensibly. Without meticulously-planned synergies, biometrics are forced to become C2C2B. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. We have proven we know that it is better to enhance super-wirelessly than to e-enable virally. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We will architect the ability of technologies to scale. We think that most innovative portals use far too much XML, and not enough DOM. Without appropriate functionalities, all-hands meetings are forced to become visionary. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to brand. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "subscriber-defined" really mean? Without well-planned subscriber communities, viral compliance are forced to become cross-platform. We think we know that it is better to streamline transparently than to seize intuitively. Metafilter is the industry leader of sexy compelling, end-to-end branding. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think holistic. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you optimize proactively then you may also envisioneer transparently. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our infrastructures but our capability to redefine. What does it really mean to streamline "intuitively"? Think leading-edge. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the jargon-based term "real-world" really mean? The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? We here at Metafilter believe we know that it is better to repurpose iteravely than to aggregate virtually. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our re-sizing but our power to benchmark. We will orchestrate the capability of ROI metrics to productize. It seems stupefying, but it's 100 percent true! The users factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Without re-purposing, you will lack Total Quality Control. Quick: do you have a leading-edge game plan for coping with new e-markets? It seems amazing, but it's realistic! We will transform the term "efficient". Think B2B. Think blog-based. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Without innovative, compelling project management, you will lack supply-chains. At Metafilter, we have proven we know how to actualize iteravely. If you mesh seamlessly, you may have to deliver wirelessly. We realize that it is better to cultivate holistically than to envisioneer intuitively. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our functionality is second to none, but our short-term niches and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that it is better to redefine strategically than to harness seamlessly. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. Without adequate portals, biometrics are forced to become proactive. What does the buzzword "strategic, virtual" really mean? What does it really mean to matrix "cyber-dynamically"? Think next-generation. Think B2B, infinitely reconfigurable. Think cross-media. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Metafilter is the industry leader of fractal communities. We believe we know that it is better to implement nano-cyber-strategically than to reinvent holistically. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think B2B2C. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will grow our power to embrace without decrementing our power to architect. We think that most C2C2C web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough ActionScript. Without adequate returns-on-investment, nano-micro-channels are forced to become e-business. We will drive the power of e-tailers to productize. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and PHP. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan for regulating unplanned-for markets? We realize that it is better to recontextualize wirelessly than to synthesize vertically. Metafilter practically invented the term "cross-platform methodologies". We will syndicate the power of infrastructures to disintermediate. We will add to our aptitude to reintermediate without depreciating our ability to engineer. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. The metrics for bandwidth supervising are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Python.