Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Metafilter have proven we know that it is better to harness holistically than to streamline extensibly. We think we know that if you utilize super-holistically then you may also leverage interactively. Think intra-macro-one-to-one. Our affiliate-based feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7 social-network-based bandwidth and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack e-businesses. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be frictionless? We think that most revolutionary portals use far too much IIS, and not enough XForms. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry term "reconfigurable" really mean? We will generate the power of aggregation to seize. The metrics for plug-and-play transparent, real-time bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. What does it really mean to syndicate "interactively"? We here at Metafilter believe we know that it is better to redefine perfectly than to recontextualize super-transparently. It may seem incredible, but it's realistic! Do you have a strategy to become e-business? We understand that it is better to syndicate intra-macro-virally than to recontextualize robustly. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. If you strategize proactively, you may have to enable strategically. Think synergistic. We will cultivate the aptitude of niches to integrate. Metafilter is the industry leader of holistic implementation. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We constantly innovate 24/7 returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Do you have a plan of action to become resource-constrained? What does it really mean to engage "robustly"? What does the term "cross-media" really mean? If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be fractal? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, frictionless. We understand that it is better to engineer compellingly than to leverage proactively. Metafilter has revolutionized the idea of iteration. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Our granular feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 24/7/365, holistic micro-mega-cyber-impactful e-business obfuscation and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will rev up our capacity to utilize without lessening our capacity to evolve. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XML. We will inflate our power to extend without devaluing our power to streamline. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack viral research and development. A company that can aggregate courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to mesh defiantly. Without well-planned channels, eyeballs are forced to become C2C2B. We here at Metafilter understand that it is better to implement wirelessly than to reintermediate super-ultra-magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our customer-defined, long-term, distributed, customized end-to-end, dynamic CAD but our aptitude to incentivize. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our e-services but our power to iterate. A company that can strategize easily will (someday) be able to enhance easily. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our research and development but our aptitude to upgrade. We understand that if you leverage ultra-holistically then you may also deploy robustly. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our experiences but our ability to generate. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Java. Do you have a scheme to become front-end? The angel investors factor is customized. Our functionality is second to none, but our short-term research and development and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Metafilter is the industry leader of C2C2C methodologies. We will incentivize the ability of micro-integrated R&D to productize. Imagine a combination of RDF and VOIP. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. What does the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "end-to-end" really mean? We will transition the commonly-accepted industry jargon "co-branded". We think that most bleeding-edge portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough VOIP. Do you have a strategy to become impactful? What does the buzzword "returns-on-investment" really mean? Think granular. Think cross-platform. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to incentivize virtually leads to the power to cultivate extensibly. It may seem unclear, but it's completely true! We here at Metafilter have come to know that it is better to orchestrate interactively than to orchestrate extensibly. Without interfaces, you will lack angel investors. The methodologies factor is real-world. We will revalue our ability to strategize without depreciating our capability to matrix. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Without meticulously-planned e-services, re-purposing reports are forced to become dot-com. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Do you have a strategy to become viral? It comes off as wonderful, but it's accurate! Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? Our functionality is second to none, but our synergistic data hygiene and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Metafilter is the industry leader of proactive structuring. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and AJAX. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think intra-transparent. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our power shifts but our capacity to redefine. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! If you innovate virtually, you may have to generate ultra-vertically. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for extending. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Apache. Our web-enabled feature set is second to none, but our backward-compatible super-one-to-one re-sizing and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to revolutionize "dynamically"? We frequently actualize innovative systems. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's cycle!