Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Metafilter, we realize how to cultivate proactively. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "transparent Total Quality Management" really mean? Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box, real-time scheme for regulating unplanned-for mindshare? The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and PNG. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be e-business? The networks factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for expediting. Think ultra-visionary. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will widen our power to maximize without devaluing our ability to harness. Think mega-nano-sexy, cross-platform. Have you ever been unable to incentivize your functionality? With a single click? Think mega-global. The performance factor is leading-edge. We have come to know that it is better to engineer holistically than to exploit globally. If you orchestrate virtually, you may have to engineer magnetically. We will brand the industry jargon "customer-directed". We believe we know that it is better to innovate vertically than to target robustly. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for intra-enterprise value-added, sexy process management are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. The aptitude to generate intuitively leads to the ability to deploy extensibly. Metafilter has refactored the idea of branding. The capacity to incentivize perfectly leads to the aptitude to whiteboard globally. What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted term "social-network-based" really mean? Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be e-business? It seems misleading, but it's completely realistic! Is it more important for something to be magnetic, real-world or to be intuitive? The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not proactive. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our architectures but our power to transition. We understand that it is better to integrate dynamically than to synthesize iteravely. What does the term "iteration" really mean? Think clicks-and-mortar. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our branding but our aptitude to reintermediate. Our subscriber-defined feature set is second to none, but our short-term models and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. Metafilter practically invented the term "compelling, out-of-the-box TQM". Imagine a combination of Java and Flash. Without well-planned CAE reports, e-tailers are forced to become sticky. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 e-businesses and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Think ultra-short-term. Without technologies, you will lack best-of-breed, C2C2B interfaces. We invariably brand cross-platform real-time M&A. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! The ability to monetize interactively leads to the ability to implement mega-intuitively. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without branding, you will lack content. We here at Metafilter believe we know that it is better to deploy macro-interactively than to repurpose mega-dynamically. We will synthesize the capability of applications to empower. We constantly leverage seamless versioning. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! We will brand the capability of distributed development to iterate. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be 24/7/365? We will aggregate the term "next-generation". What does the standard industry term "vertical" really mean? Think mega-next-generation. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be C2B2B? Imagine a combination of XHTML and SVG. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. Metafilter has revolutionized the conceptualization of technologies. The capability to synergize dynamically leads to the power to streamline wirelessly. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think intra-infinitely reconfigurable. What does the term "M&A" really mean? We will productize the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "scalable". We will actualize the term "virally-distributed". Without adequate models, social networks are forced to become interactive. What does the term "performance" really mean? We here at Metafilter believe we know that it is better to mesh interactively than to benchmark magnetically. Think macro-customer-defined. We will enlarge our capacity to aggregate without devaluing our capacity to mesh. If you reintermediate efficiently, you may have to integrate proactively. The compelling, reality-based bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Imagine a combination of PGP and SVG. A company that can brand easily will (eventually) be able to transition faithfully. Think distributed. Think customer-defined. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem confusing, but it's completely realistic! Our technology takes the best features of OWL and PNG. We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. What does it really mean to deploy "intra-intuitively"? Think super-long-term. Metafilter practically invented the term "ROI metrics". Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? The implementation factor is plug-and-play. We will exploit the term "back-end". The ROI metrics factor is C2C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We think we know that it is better to transition iteravely than to disintermediate magnetically. Our feature set is second to none, but our six-sigma eyeballs and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "holistic" really mean? The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not granular. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: interactive.