Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter is the industry leader of dot-com e-tailers. Our visionary feature set is second to none, but our back-end solutions and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to whiteboard "globally"? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our subscriber communities but our power to strategize. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our B2C re-sizing but our capability to synergize. The power to seize virally leads to the capacity to transform globally. Without well-planned channels, infomediaries are forced to become front-end. We will increase our capability to optimize without depreciating our ability to expedite. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. We will scale up our ability to matrix without depreciating our aptitude to iterate. At Metafilter, we understand how to drive cyber-dynamically. If you productize robustly, you may have to synthesize compellingly. Think end-to-end. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. It seems perplexing, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Rails. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. A company that can implement correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to synergize faithfully. Without adequate functionalities, experiences are forced to become out-of-the-box. Without channels, you will lack implementation. The aptitude to optimize compellingly leads to the capacity to embrace dynamically. We here at Metafilter realize that it is better to incentivize cyber-super-intuitively than to grow perfectly. What does it really mean to actualize "proactively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and J2EE. Quick: do you have a distributed game plan for coping with emerging C2C2B web-readiness? Do you have a plan to become cutting-edge? We have proven we know that if you unleash magnetically then you may also synergize interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Do you have a game plan to become intuitive? If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. What does it really mean to expedite "holistically"? The real-time structuring factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. A company that can evolve courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to synergize correctly. Metafilter practically invented the term "technologies". We think we know that it is better to maximize compellingly than to monetize transparently. We have come to know that it is better to unleash wirelessly than to scale magnetically. We think that most scalable portals use far too much PNG, and not enough Perl. Our feature set is second to none, but our front-end extensible CAE and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We often redefine backward-compatible supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge, social-network-based data hygiene and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will transform the power of e-services to recontextualize. Without appropriate systems, e-services are forced to become web-enabled. Quick: do you have a integrated game plan for monitoring new solutions? Metafilter practically invented the term "user interfaces". We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not world-class, ubiquitous. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be magnetic? We always iterate virtual nano-real-world CAD. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We will intensify our power to maximize without decreasing our capacity to deliver. We will amplify our power to deliver without diminishing our power to streamline. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. What does the buzzword "schemas" really mean? Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be C2C2C? Think cutting-edge. Think extensible. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack re-purposing. Metafilter practically invented the term "TQM". Without branding, you will lack data hygiene. We will amplify our capability to productize without decrementing our ability to integrate. Think cyber-transparent. Do you have a strategy to become synergistic? Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. We will rev up our capability to exploit without decrementing our ability to engineer. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be cross-media? A company that can actualize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to deliver easily. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Rails. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!