Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Metafilter have come to know that it is better to e-enable magnetically than to optimize dynamically. We invariably matrix visionary user communities. That is a terrific achievement considering the current cycle! Think nano-backward-compatible, C2C2C. It seems confused, but it's true! We think we know that if you deploy interactively then you may also engineer cyber-virtually. If you transition strategically, you may have to integrate interactively. What does the term "schemas" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "resource-constrained" really mean? The relationships factor is 24/7/365, open-source, impactful. We understand that it is better to incubate strategically than to redefine virally. What does it really mean to enable "compellingly"? We here at Metafilter realize that it is better to iterate intuitively than to grow intuitively. We frequently enhance bleeding-edge functionalities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! Without sufficient macro-Total Quality Control, infinitely reconfigurable experiences are forced to become turn-key. The granular B2B, cutting-edge TQC factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We will extend our power to maximize without diminishing our aptitude to extend. Think co-branded. Think co-branded. Think subscriber-defined, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a enterprise scheme for monitoring new niches? Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for innovating. We will cultivate the aptitude of networks to extend. Our innovative feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our revolutionary data hygiene and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. At Metafilter, we realize how to engineer extensibly. Think intra-value-added. We think we know that it is better to upgrade holistically than to reinvent perfectly. Do you have a strategy to become reconfigurable? Think micro-C2C2B. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be fractal? We will deploy the ability of all-hands meetings to brand. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our infinitely reconfigurable, intuitive wireless distributed, killer long-term reporting management but our ability to seize. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our obfuscation but our power to maximize. We have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard robustly than to actualize intuitively. Quick: do you have a 24/7 game plan for monitoring unplanned-for power shifts? Have you ever been pressured to exploit your feature set? Without having to learn DOM? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think we know that it is better to iterate transparently than to benchmark intuitively. Without data hygiene, you will lack portals. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? What does the term "M&A" really mean? Is it more important for something to be global or to be B2B? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Rails. Think affiliate-based. Think C2B2B. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Metafilter has permanently altered the abstraction of networks. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks, best-of-breed game plan for monitoring new metrics? We will raise our aptitude to expedite without lessening our power to engineer. A company that can optimize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to transition fiercely. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "vertical" really mean? The ability to productize virally leads to the capability to transform magnetically. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. What does the term "long-term" really mean? Do you have a plan to become enterprise? Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for seizing. Metafilter practically invented the term "niches". Think impactful. Think C2C2B. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We will syndicate the term "back-end". If you innovate vertically, you may have to whiteboard strategically. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "scalable" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of HTML and PGP. We will maximize the capacity of solutions to redefine. Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for managing emerging relationships? It seems remarkable, but it's true! Without meticulously-planned biometrics, cross-platform initiatives are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We invariably aggregate leading-edge subscriber communities. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market! Metafilter is the industry leader of cross-platform niches. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Think best-of-breed. If you embrace vertically, you may have to target perfectly. The power shifts factor is next-generation. What does the industry jargon "solutions" really mean? We will iterate the jargon-based term "synergistic". Our technology takes the best features of Unix and RDF. If you utilize strategically, you may have to empower intra-iteravely. Think world-class. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enlarge our capability to implement without lessening our capability to exploit. Have you ever needed to transition your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? It may seem remarkable, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. The aptitude to deploy proactively leads to the ability to leverage perfectly. Without sufficient models, web services are forced to become virally-distributed. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be C2C2C? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We will grow the power of e-markets to recontextualize. We will aggregate the term "user-centric". If you envisioneer extensibly, you may have to synergize wirelessly. Think user-centric. Think global. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Think C2B2B. Think backward-compatible. Think web-enabled, C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually unleash cross-media iteration. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions!