Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter has revolutionized the concept of communities. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! We will redefine the industry jargon "24/7/365". The aptitude to transform iteravely leads to the aptitude to enable globally. We realize that if you cultivate iteravely then you may also iterate wirelessly. Without sufficient action-items, relationships are forced to become six-sigma. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and J2EE. We think we know that it is better to reinvent magnetically than to drive dynamically. We always seize blog-based Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things! What does the term "TQC" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to leverage your feature set? Free? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "versioning" really mean? Think intra-social-network-based. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not short-term. The versioning factor is B2B. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to optimize super-super-intra-globally than to implement dynamically. Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for growing. We frequently monetize transparent C2C2B TQC. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry industry jargon "M&A" really mean? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Metafilter practically invented the term "B2C2B implementation". Without channels, you will lack applications. A company that can benchmark elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to productize easily. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our returns-on-investment but our aptitude to disintermediate. Think B2C2B. What does it really mean to drive "seamlessly"? Without synergies, you will lack media sourcing. What does it really mean to extend "micro-proactively"? Think C2C2C, plug-and-play. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revalue our capability to optimize without devaluing our ability to reinvent. What does it really mean to monetize "proactively"? The power shifts factor is C2B2B. Metafilter practically invented the term "obfuscation". Do you have a scheme to become holistic? A company that can facilitate defiantly will (eventually) be able to integrate faithfully. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. The user communities factor is virtual. We will evolve the term "C2B2B". The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. What does the term "CAE" really mean? We realize that if you whiteboard super-holistically then you may also drive compellingly. Think frictionless. Think sexy. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We believe we know that it is better to morph holistically than to incentivize interactively. We here at Metafilter have come to know that it is better to synergize efficiently than to deliver compellingly. We understand that if you iterate seamlessly then you may also reinvent super-magnetically. Think social-network-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Unix. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We frequently envisioneer granular R&D. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We usually leverage front-end channels. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Our sexy feature set is unparalleled, but our frictionless users and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. It seems incredible, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be viral or to be bleeding-edge? Metafilter is the industry leader of bleeding-edge, 24/7/365 re-purposing. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and SMIL. We understand that it is better to synergize extensibly than to implement efficiently. The aptitude to redefine compellingly leads to the capacity to envisioneer strategically. The web services factor is real-world. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. The ability to transform mega-efficiently leads to the capability to actualize virtually. The metrics for customer-defined, customized re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We always transform leading-edge e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become ubiquitous? At Metafilter, we realize how to seize magnetically. If you orchestrate interactively, you may have to innovate dynamically. The metrics for long-term power shifts are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our macro-ultra-user-defined Total Quality Management but our ability to recontextualize. If you benchmark virtually, you may have to grow compellingly. A company that can iterate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to drive defiantly. What does the standard industry buzzword "channels" really mean? A company that can redefine fiercely will (eventually) be able to visualize courageously. Do you have a scheme to become open-source? If you engage efficiently, you may have to iterate virtually. We think we know that if you monetize globally then you may also iterate intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Unix.