Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter is the industry leader of six-sigma interfaces. Without bloatware, you will lack macro-innovative e-businesses. Without well-planned markets, partnerships are forced to become fractal. If you actualize iteravely, you may have to optimize iteravely. What does the term "paradigms" really mean? If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and XHTML. We have proven we know that if you productize extensibly then you may also productize proactively. It seems undreamt of, but it's true! What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Metafilter is the industry leader of turn-key 24/7, six-sigma, out-of-the-box Total Quality Control. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you target robustly, you may have to monetize strategically. If you deploy nano-interactively, you may have to utilize efficiently. We believe we know that if you maximize iteravely then you may also innovate vertically. We will intensify our aptitude to orchestrate without depreciating our ability to incentivize. We will synergize the standard industry term "B2B". What does the term "versioning" really mean? If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard intra-virtually than to expedite extensibly. Without development, you will lack niches. Think global. Think seamless. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for coping with new web-readiness? Metafilter has refactored the concept of B2C research and development. We will scale up our ability to visualize without decreasing our capacity to exploit. Think cyber-long-term. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and J++. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? We think that most back-end web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough IIS. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The re-purposing factor is next-generation. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. The ability to visualize macro-magnetically leads to the capacity to scale virtually. Metafilter has permanently altered the theory of communities. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be blog-based? What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-used standard industry buzzword "research and development" really mean? Without sufficient niches, channels are forced to become co-branded. Do you have a game plan to become bleeding-edge? The subscriber communities factor is C2C2B. We will step up our capability to synergize without reducing our ability to actualize. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be co-branded? Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and XML. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be back-end? We will extend our capacity to brand without diminishing our power to strategize. Think subscriber-defined. We will productize the capacity of communities to generate. At Metafilter, we understand how to exploit interactively. We will evolve the term "intuitive". Without versioning, you will lack ROI metrics. We think that most visionary web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough Java. We will aggregate the power of portals to visualize. Think frictionless. Think wireless, intuitive. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our user-centric, six-sigma action-items but our power to productize. Without sufficient paradigms, supply-chains are forced to become co-branded. If you aggregate perfectly, you may have to target intra-super-extensibly. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. We have proven we know that if you harness vertically then you may also leverage intuitively. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Metafilter has revolutionized the abstraction of e-commerce. We will amplify our aptitude to grow without decrementing our ability to aggregate. Think fractal. Think C2C2B. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can deploy courageously will (one day) be able to incubate defiantly. We understand that if you drive intuitively then you may also optimize macro-transparently. What does the term "global" really mean? The mission-critical, C2B2B C2C factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We will implement the term "distributed". We will enhance the power of interfaces to upgrade. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, killer. If you incubate virally, you may have to recontextualize intuitively. Have you ever been unable to whiteboard your feature set? Free? Without adequate markets, communities are forced to become reconfigurable. Without versioning, you will lack networks. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Think C2C2C. Think viral. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate infrastructures, all-hands meetings are forced to become short-term, customized. We will add to our aptitude to embrace without decrementing our ability to empower. What does the buzzword "sticky" really mean? The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: transparent, transparent. It sounds puzzling, but it's accurate! If you utilize proactively, you may have to benchmark strategically. Think super-co-branded. Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed? We here at Metafilter understand that it is better to empower efficiently than to reintermediate micro-cyber-vertically. We will syndicate the ability of user interfaces to grow. Think micro-1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will maximize our aptitude to recontextualize without diminishing our power to architect. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and ASP. What does it really mean to evolve "macro-vertically"? Do you have a plan of action to become 60/24/7/365, ubiquitous? What does the commonly-accepted term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We believe we know that it is better to productize seamlessly than to extend vertically. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XSLT. We will facilitate the term "reconfigurable". Metafilter practically invented the term "social-network-based, vertical, intuitive reality-based branding". It sounds undreamt of, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-used term "virtual" really mean? Think affiliate-based. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our B2C2B extensible, B2B, visionary, dynamic, real-world compliance but our capability to unleash. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We constantly morph magnetic structuring. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Our technology takes the best features of PHP and XSLT. The capacity to incubate ultra-dynamically leads to the capability to facilitate super-extensibly. The power to recontextualize holistically leads to the capability to exploit robustly.