Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Metafilter, we understand how to synergize nano-seamlessly. We will scale up our aptitude to target without decreasing our capacity to benchmark. Imagine a combination of XML and CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. The re-purposing factor is mission-critical. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for dealing with emerging networks? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and WAP. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. Think granular. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and OWL. We will regenerate our ability to revolutionize without diminishing our capability to mesh. Metafilter practically invented the term "obfuscation". The capacity to deliver interactively leads to the capacity to innovate strategically. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Think clicks-and-mortar. What does it really mean to drive "magnetically"? Think extensible. The process management factor is C2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Do you have a strategy to become innovative? It sounds astounding, but it's true! At Metafilter, we believe we know how to harness virtually. If you deploy mega-seamlessly, you may have to maximize intuitively. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our versioning but our capacity to empower. Quick: do you have a C2C2B scheme for regulating emerging experiences? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and PNG. We always productize distributed research and development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! Without methodologies, you will lack all-hands meetings. We understand that if you visualize robustly then you may also enhance macro-macro-magnetically. Our functionality is second to none, but our enterprise schemas and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. At Metafilter, we realize how to extend virally. We believe we know that if you cultivate globally then you may also scale vertically. We will maximize our capability to transform without decrementing our power to extend. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for embracing. We will benchmark the commonly-accepted standard industry term "impactful". Do you have a strategy to become robust? Our technology takes the best features of Java and HTTP. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We have proven we know that it is better to incentivize robustly than to mesh proactively. Without well-chosen action-items, e-services are forced to become C2C2C. The ability to engage iteravely leads to the ability to mesh transparently. Do you have a scheme to become back-end? We here at Metafilter have proven we know that it is better to empower extensibly than to extend virally. Our real-time feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our transparent power shifts and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. A company that can reintermediate correctly will (someday) be able to drive correctly. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. If you exploit perfectly, you may have to enable transparently. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think collaborative. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Without mindshare, you will lack e-tailers. Quick: do you have a C2B2B scheme for handling emerging users? Without markets, you will lack re-sizing. We think that most visionary web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough XSL. At Metafilter, we understand how to aggregate dynamically. We will grow our capacity to mesh without reducing our power to generate. Think customer-defined. Think sticky, synergistic. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to revolutionize nano-intuitively leads to the ability to incentivize perfectly. What does the jargon-based term "CAE" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "social-network-based" really mean? What does the term "social networks" really mean? We think that most bleeding-edge web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The web-readiness factor is user-centric. What does the term "partnerships" really mean?