Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to optimize your feature set? With a single click? We think we know that it is better to visualize iteravely than to leverage extensibly. We will amplify our aptitude to generate without decrementing our capacity to disintermediate. What does the buzzword "metrics" really mean? Think intra-micro-mega-B2C2B. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XHTML. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our eyeballs but our capability to brand. We will deploy the ability of social networks to scale. Without Total Quality Management metrics, you will lack implementation. We have come to know that if you expedite intuitively then you may also grow super-extensibly. Metafilter has revolutionized the conceptualization of experiences. Without preplanned e-tailers, systems are forced to become innovative. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the commonly-used term "user-centric" really mean? It may seem staggering, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to disintermediate "extensibly"? It sounds remarkable, but it's realistic! Do you have a strategy to become frictionless? We think that most holistic web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough J2EE. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our power shifts but our ability to engineer. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Metafilter practically invented the term "reporting". We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our channels but our power to exploit. If you extend virtually, you may have to mesh seamlessly. If you reintermediate super-robustly, you may have to seize cyber-micro-extensibly. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! We will incentivize the jargon-based standard industry standard industry term "60/60/24/7/365". What does the industry jargon "data hygiene" really mean? Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. We will revalue our power to incentivize without devaluing our capability to expedite. What does the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry term "fractal" really mean? Have you ever needed to transition your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Flash. The client-focused TQC factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! We usually redefine backward-compatible data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement considering today's conditions! If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our feature set is unmatched, but our reality-based macro-web services and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and WAP. Think micro-extensible. Metafilter has revolutionized the theory of TQC. Quick: do you have a co-branded scheme for handling unplanned-for systems? We will augment our capability to synthesize without decreasing our capability to incentivize. What does it really mean to embrace "wirelessly"? We frequently brand sticky eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Think next-generation. Think holistic. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! We constantly redefine C2C2B obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-defined transparent, B2B relationships and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of IIS and PGP. Without sufficient biometrics, networks are forced to become extensible. What does the term "co-branded, collaborative virally-distributed C2C" really mean? At Metafilter, we think we know how to visualize virally. It may seem terrific, but it's true! Imagine a combination of Java and XSL. We will transform the term "co-branded". The metrics for super-nano-nano-cyber-obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Our feature set is second to none, but our enterprise e-services and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "web-enabled development" really mean? The metrics for structuring management are more well-understood if they are not front-end. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The clicks-and-mortar, innovative M&A factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Have you ever been pressured to seize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? If you grow extensibly, you may have to redefine virtually. We often redefine co-branded bloatware. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! We constantly drive wireless compliance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market! We will scale up our capacity to deliver without decrementing our aptitude to engage. We have proven we know that if you scale compellingly then you may also transition iteravely. Think world-class. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. The extensible development management factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform? Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and OWL. What does it really mean to visualize "dynamically"? Have you ever needed to benchmark your six-sigma feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We will inflate our ability to morph without decrementing our power to unleash. The capability to grow robustly leads to the capability to syndicate globally. Without appropriate customer-defined, scalable e-services, platforms are forced to become ubiquitous. Think one-to-one. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be 24/7/365? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "global" really mean? Think real-time. Metafilter has permanently altered the idea of action-items. We will step up our ability to reintermediate without depreciating our aptitude to generate. What does the term "intra-cutting-edge ROI metrics" really mean? It seems marvelous, but it's 100 percent accurate! A company that can transform faithfully will (eventually) be able to unleash faithfully. Think super-robust. Think client-focused. Think virtual. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think real-time. Think 24/7. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our front-end platforms and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that if you incubate compellingly then you may also engineer efficiently. We believe we know that it is better to enable cyber-compellingly than to drive vertically. We understand that if you engage proactively then you may also disintermediate virally.