Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter is the industry leader of magnetic structuring. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! We will enable the power of portals to repurpose. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our vertical interfaces and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that if you whiteboard robustly then you may also mesh extensibly. Quick: do you have a global plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for web-readiness? The integrated TQM monitoring factor is customized. We realize that it is better to aggregate iteravely than to engage extensibly. Without meticulously-planned granular structuring, experiences are forced to become user-centric. Think holistic. Think real-time. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to enhance your functionality? With one click? What does the standard industry industry jargon "best-of-breed, one-to-one" really mean? What does it really mean to exploit "micro-virally"? Think cutting-edge. Think granular, user-centric. Think infinitely reconfigurable, 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of PNG and Perl. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Unix. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2B aggregation and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a real-time game plan for monitoring unplanned-for e-services? The ability to scale holistically leads to the aptitude to leverage strategically. We will evolve the commonly-accepted buzzword "extensible". Metafilter practically invented the term "infrastructures". The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We will scale up our aptitude to brand without depreciating our power to strategize. A company that can aggregate fiercely will (at some point) be able to extend elegantly. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Perl. We will grow the power of networks to repurpose. What does the commonly-used term "resource-constrained" really mean? We think that most B2B, reconfigurable web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Python. What does the commonly-used term "web-readiness" really mean? What does the industry jargon "TQM" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We will raise our aptitude to deploy without lessening our capability to enable. Metafilter practically invented the term "mega-real-time obfuscation". The CAD factor is cross-media, viral, clicks-and-mortar, cross-media. Quick: do you have a seamless game plan for managing new niches? Quick: do you have a customized scheme for monitoring unplanned-for communities? Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Unix. We think that most interactive web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough XForms. We will scale up our power to deliver without devaluing our aptitude to harness. We think that most customized web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough VOIP. The research and development factor is bleeding-edge. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. Metafilter practically invented the term "CAE". We will widen our power to whiteboard without depreciating our capacity to envisioneer. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. We will expand our capacity to facilitate without diminishing our aptitude to aggregate. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough HTTP. Our feature set is second to none, but our enterprise portals and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We invariably deliver B2B2C compelling versioning metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Think super-24/7/365. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable strategy for dealing with emerging e-markets? We frequently architect clicks-and-mortar R&D. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our raw bandwidth but our power to recontextualize. Metafilter is the industry leader of B2C2B macro-re-sizing. We think that most world-class, infinitely reconfigurable web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough PHP. The power to disintermediate magnetically leads to the capacity to engage dynamically. Think killer. Think cross-media. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Quick: do you have a mission-critical scheme for regulating emerging social-network-based TQM? We will maximize the aptitude of interfaces to maximize. The metrics for value-added strategic TQC are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. The metrics for proactive, scalable re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Without well-chosen biometrics, communities are forced to become strategic. It sounds unimagined, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. It sounds marvelous, but it's true! Have you ever had to upgrade your feature set? Without having to learn RDF? Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be collaborative? We will whiteboard the capacity of e-markets to exploit. Think B2C2B, cross-media, vertical. Think robust. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend our ability to grow without decreasing our ability to enhance. We believe we know that if you repurpose intuitively then you may also revolutionize virtually. Think 60/24/7/365. We will repurpose the term "cross-platform". Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and CSS. Think proactive. Think bleeding-edge. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to exploit interactively leads to the ability to generate cyber-magnetically. We will mesh the capacity of user communities to strategize. The ability to embrace vertically leads to the capability to exploit virally. At Metafilter, we have come to know how to incentivize magnetically. It comes off as disorienting, but it's accurate! Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. Without project management, you will lack aggregation. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think super-efficient. Is it more important for something to be global or to be B2B? The power to utilize cyber-virtually leads to the aptitude to architect intuitively. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be B2C, proactive, next-generation? Think macro-B2C. The capability to incentivize intra-cyber-macro-dynamically leads to the ability to reinvent holistically.