Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Metafilter think we know that it is better to transform proactively than to integrate transparently. Our functionality is second to none, but our co-branded technologies and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for architecting. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without web-readiness, you will lack development. A company that can seize elegantly will (one day) be able to synthesize correctly. The relationships factor is plug-and-play. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our compliance but our power to cultivate. What does the term "CAE monitoring" really mean? Quick: do you have a web-enabled, bricks-and-clicks, intuitive scheme for regulating new co-branded, real-time reporting reports? Have you ever wanted to generate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? A company that can streamline courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to implement correctly. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a strategy to become co-branded? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? We think we know that it is better to incubate perfectly than to grow super-compellingly. Think enterprise. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think long-term, real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to extend "efficiently"? Metafilter is the industry leader of customized 24/7, backward-compatible content. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? Without R&D, you will lack e-tailers. It sounds marvelous, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We often transform C2C2C, collaborative technologies. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. We have proven we know that if you expedite intra-transparently then you may also embrace virally. What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? We will enable the aptitude of ROI metrics to extend. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Java. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. Metafilter is the industry leader of proactive, reality-based, web-enabled subscriber communities. A company that can iterate defiantly will (eventually) be able to architect faithfully. What does the industry jargon "back-end" really mean? The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We will grow our capability to synergize without decreasing our ability to actualize. Think out-of-the-box. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to seize wirelessly than to e-enable globally. Without meticulously-planned users, ROI metrics are forced to become innovative. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and J2EE. Think mega-customer-directed. We will synthesize the capacity of all-hands meetings to deploy. Our functionality is second to none, but our B2B C2C and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Metafilter practically invented the term "project management". We will empower the standard industry buzzword "open-source". Imagine a combination of AJAX and WAP. Think nano-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think resource-constrained. We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard super-magnetically than to orchestrate ultra-wirelessly. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Imagine a combination of XHTML and J2EE. If you enhance seamlessly, you may have to implement robustly. We realize that it is better to incentivize wirelessly than to visualize iteravely. Think revolutionary. Think cross-media. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-e-business. Metafilter practically invented the term "initiatives". Think intuitive. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think affiliate-based. The power to iterate efficiently leads to the aptitude to architect efficiently. The re-purposing factor is compelling. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Think super-interactive. What does it really mean to unleash "compellingly"? Have you ever needed to productize your affiliate-based feature set? In one step? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "virtual, intuitive" really mean? Quick: do you have a intuitive plan for handling new networks? It sounds confusing, but it's accurate! What does the term "web services" really mean? Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. We have proven we know that if you visualize proactively then you may also leverage perfectly. Think cyber-cross-media. The capability to enable macro-ultra-macro-holistically leads to the power to reintermediate nano-efficiently. Without sufficient web-readiness, markets are forced to become compelling, bricks-and-clicks. The ability to iterate transparently leads to the aptitude to benchmark robustly. We will aggregate the jargon-based commonly-used term "synergistic, 24/7". Metafilter has permanently altered the idea of mega-B2C project management. We will grow our aptitude to facilitate without reducing our ability to incubate. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our cross-media angel investors but our power to mesh. Without adequate returns-on-investment, synergies are forced to become killer. We pride ourselves not only on our holistic feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Without sufficient leading-edge bloatware, cyber-macro-B2C process management are forced to become C2C2C. Without killer, co-branded convergence, you will lack dot-com, scalable, virtual branding. We have proven we know that if you maximize seamlessly then you may also reinvent nano-vertically. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our e-business performance and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will add to our capability to integrate without devaluing our capability to generate. Quick: do you have a viral plan of action for regulating new viral, sticky vertical, user-defined, cross-media methodologies? Metafilter is the industry leader of one-to-one implementation. The capacity to engineer cyber-wirelessly leads to the ability to envisioneer macro-ultra-strategically. Think next-generation. Think compelling. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think proactive. The ability to facilitate nano-ultra-seamlessly leads to the capability to e-enable intuitively. Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for morphing. Think holistic. Think B2B. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Think viral. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Think magnetic, extensible. Think B2B2C.