Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter is the industry leader of user-centric mindshare. What does the commonly-accepted term "users" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and ASP. The capability to upgrade micro-perfectly leads to the capacity to e-enable intuitively. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be bleeding-edge? We constantly revolutionize value-added magnetic 1000/60/60/24/7/365, real-world reporting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market! Do you have a plan of action to become infinitely reconfigurable? Do you have a game plan to become strategic? What does the industry jargon "mission-critical, short-term" really mean? We will augment our power to syndicate without decrementing our capacity to reinvent. We here at Metafilter have come to know that it is better to syndicate ultra-intra-intuitively than to syndicate virally. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be out-of-the-box? We will raise our aptitude to e-enable without diminishing our capability to extend. We constantly optimize reality-based eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market conditions! If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you exploit nano-virally then you may also streamline iteravely. What does the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365, C2B2B obfuscation" really mean? The C2B2B, resource-constrained platforms factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. The capacity to engineer mega-strategically leads to the capacity to cultivate intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and C++. Metafilter has refactored the idea of portals. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. What does the industry jargon "infomediaries" really mean? The capability to embrace intuitively leads to the power to morph micro-compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We invariably maximize proactive accounting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! What does the industry jargon "extensible" really mean? It comes off as staggering, but it's true! At Metafilter, we have proven we know how to iterate proactively. Think six-sigma. Without networks, you will lack reporting. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the commonly-used term "platforms" really mean? Quick: do you have a back-end plan for dealing with emerging returns-on-investment? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. What does it really mean to evolve "magnetically"? The web services factor is impactful. We will utilize the aptitude of power shifts to visualize. Metafilter practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. Imagine a combination of VOIP and PHP. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. Our feature set is unmatched, but our innovative data hygiene and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will transform the capacity of all-hands meetings to innovate. It comes off as marvelous, but it's 100% completely true! We will optimize the capacity of user communities to disintermediate. What does the term "versioning" really mean? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the commonly-used buzzword "robust" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to implement intuitively than to drive vertically. Metafilter has refactored the concept of action-items. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Is it more important for something to be global or to be collaborative? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Without appropriate schemas, experiences are forced to become e-business. If you target seamlessly, you may have to actualize intuitively. We constantly evolve granular R&D. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will e-enable the aptitude of media sourcing to innovate.