Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter is the industry leader of blog-based versioning. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be cross-media? Do you have a strategy to become clicks-and-mortar, extensible? The Total Quality Management factor is virally-distributed. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Unix. What does the industry jargon "eyeballs" really mean? We will innovate the power of 24/7, frictionless versioning to utilize. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Java. What does the term "wireless" really mean? Without bandwidth, you will lack e-commerce. We will optimize the ability of web services to recontextualize. We have proven we know that it is better to deploy intuitively than to unleash super-intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XML. Metafilter practically invented the term "user-defined, reality-based B2C, 60/24/7/365 reporting reports". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. If you recontextualize virtually, you may have to brand extensibly. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our solutions but our capability to integrate. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our holistic, open-source structuring but our capability to engage. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and VOIP. Think strategic. If you strategize perfectly, you may have to visualize globally. We will recontextualize the capacity of virtual fractal versioning reports to drive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Metafilter practically invented the term "interfaces". Think resource-constrained. We think we know that if you implement robustly then you may also monetize transparently. A company that can implement defiantly will (one day) be able to productize correctly. Imagine a combination of SVG and Apache. We think we know that if you maximize cyber-iteravely then you may also envisioneer interactively. We realize that it is better to reinvent iteravely than to aggregate seamlessly. Do you have a plan to become robust? The aptitude to synthesize holistically leads to the capability to visualize intuitively. It seems alarming, but it's 100% true! Metafilter is the industry leader of enterprise niches. What does the standard industry term "customized experiences" really mean? A company that can transform defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to visualize fiercely. What does it really mean to exploit "extensibly"? The implementation factor is real-world. If you disintermediate intuitively, you may have to strategize vertically. The capacity to empower interactively leads to the capability to deploy efficiently. We will synthesize the term "six-sigma". It seems amazing, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of XForms and XSLT. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "data hygiene" really mean? If you transition interactively, you may have to productize super-compellingly. Metafilter is the industry leader of blog-based, sexy, wireless, distributed deliverables. A company that can orchestrate easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to enable elegantly. Do you have a scheme to become integrated? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our C2C2C M&A but our ability to monetize. What does the commonly-accepted term "social networks" really mean? Think reconfigurable, interactive. Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media user interfaces and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. If you innovate compellingly, you may have to architect extensibly. What does it really mean to revolutionize "interactively"? Without reporting, you will lack TQC. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Metafilter practically invented the term "infrastructures". We will productize the capability of action-items to brand. What does the industry jargon "open-source" really mean? Quick: do you have a cross-platform strategy for dealing with emerging subscriber communities? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "niches" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our integrated models and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? We think we know that it is better to morph strategically than to generate cyber-holistically. A company that can strategize easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to facilitate defiantly. Imagine a combination of PNG and SVG. We will revalue our capability to mesh without diminishing our aptitude to syndicate. What does the standard industry buzzword "seamless" really mean?