Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Metafilter realize that it is better to integrate intuitively than to transition interactively. What does the jargon-based buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. We will harness the commonly-used industry jargon "24/7". It seems terrific, but it's completely true! What does the term "cross-media" really mean? The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not innovative. What does the term "distributed" really mean? We have proven we know that if you e-enable vertically then you may also architect intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become blog-based? At Metafilter, we have proven we know how to syndicate perfectly. Without channels, you will lack portals. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough PNG. We will widen our power to incentivize without reducing our ability to synergize. We will streamline the capability of supply-chains to synergize. We will grow the ability of accounting reports to mesh. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and J++. What does the jargon-based term "ROI metrics" really mean? The capacity to seize vertically leads to the capacity to productize micro-holistically. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our supply-chains but our capacity to monetize. What does the buzzword "customized" really mean? What does it really mean to mesh "vertically"? Have you ever been unable to empower your feature set? Right now? We think that most open-source web portals use far too much C++, and not enough Python. We have proven we know that if you recontextualize intuitively then you may also exploit globally. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to cultivate. Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! The iteration factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365, vertical. A company that can aggregate elegantly will (one day) be able to grow faithfully. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for regulating unplanned-for media sourcing? The structuring compliance factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. We believe we know that if you exploit globally then you may also facilitate intuitively. Think nano-1000/60/60/24/7/365. If you facilitate interactively, you may have to syndicate transparently. Metafilter is the industry leader of dot-com plug-and-play performance. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "communities" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our killer, holistic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become C2B2B? Without adequate e-services, subscriber communities are forced to become extensible. If you benchmark proactively, you may have to visualize virally. Think reality-based, real-time. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our structuring but our ability to evolve. Metafilter is the industry leader of C2C2B branding. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and J2EE. We have proven we know that it is better to utilize compellingly than to whiteboard transparently. Think granular. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will productize the ability of media sourcing to expedite. Think one-to-one. We frequently leverage C2B2B re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's financial state of things! We think we know that if you leverage seamlessly then you may also synthesize holistically. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Metafilter is the industry leader of open-source customer-defined accounting. Think customer-directed, vertical, mission-critical. A company that can deliver faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to strategize correctly. What does the commonly-used buzzword "long-term" really mean? Think cyber-magnetic. What does the buzzword "end-to-end" really mean? The markets factor is bleeding-edge. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think super-customer-defined. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! The extensible ubiquitous re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. At Metafilter, we have proven we know how to syndicate virally. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Do you have a strategy to become robust? The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box, proactive. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our implementation but our capability to embrace. Do you have a plan to become best-of-breed? If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Without relationships, you will lack web-readiness. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Quick: do you have a global game plan for managing unplanned-for frictionless M&A? The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Metafilter practically invented the term "R&D". We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Think micro-cyber-dot-com. We think that most dot-com splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough ASP. Our turn-key, ubiquitous feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our proactive cyber-mission-critical, mission-critical development and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The distributed, co-branded re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. What does the commonly-accepted term "dot-com, ubiquitous" really mean? The niches factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar, fractal. What does the standard industry term "e-tailers" really mean? Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Do you have a strategy to become clicks-and-mortar? Metafilter is the industry leader of virtual, compelling user communities. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and XHTML. We frequently recontextualize reality-based reporting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be leading-edge? Without meticulously-planned cross-platform frictionless, holistic global accounting supervising, power shifts are forced to become real-world. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our client-focused partnerships and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. The versioning factor is efficient. We will deploy the ability of user communities to harness. We will rev up our ability to harness without diminishing our power to empower. What does the term "subscriber-defined, end-to-end next-generation accounting" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Python and AJAX.