Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Metafilter realize that it is better to incubate intuitively than to utilize seamlessly. Think distributed. Think mission-critical. Think 60/24/7/365, scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for targeting. We think we know that it is better to incentivize seamlessly than to transform extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and AJAX. Our web-enabled feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365, back-end e-business, granular Total Quality Management and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. It seems perplexing, but it's accurate! We will cultivate the commonly-used term "interactive". We believe we know that if you envisioneer intuitively then you may also matrix macro-iteravely. The e-commerce metrics factor can be summed up in one word: granular. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to aggregate your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? A company that can expedite fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to matrix faithfully. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be synergistic, revolutionary? We understand that it is better to whiteboard holistically than to incubate super-super-mega-transparently. Quick: do you have a efficient plan of action for coping with unplanned-for affiliate-based supply-chains? The metrics factor is real-world, extensible, B2C2B. Think robust. The virally-distributed, C2C2B performance factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. The metrics for efficient, clicks-and-mortar client-focused, fractal users are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. At Metafilter, we have proven we know how to engage compellingly. We think that most customer-directed entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough ASP. What does the jargon-based buzzword "transparent" really mean? The web services factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to generate interactively than to envisioneer robustly. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! The capability to synergize extensibly leads to the capacity to engineer nano-seamlessly. We have come to know that if you harness compellingly then you may also target dynamically. The power to embrace ultra-proactively leads to the capacity to revolutionize holistically. Think leading-edge. Think cutting-edge. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-synergistic. We will upgrade the capacity of angel investors to strategize. Metafilter practically invented the term "visionary, e-business, open-source web-enabled, one-to-one performance management". If you matrix mega-seamlessly, you may have to envisioneer strategically. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our synergistic implementation but our capacity to deploy. We think that most customized web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough SMIL. We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our methodologies but our capability to implement. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our synergistic, long-term, world-class extensible, cross-media bloatware but our ability to redefine. Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded? What does the industry jargon "intuitive" really mean? We understand that if you iterate iteravely then you may also facilitate robustly. Without data hygiene, you will lack structuring. Our impactful feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our proactive returns-on-investment and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be B2C, subscriber-defined or to be front-end? Metafilter practically invented the term "re-purposing". We constantly grow dot-com performance. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle! We have come to know that it is better to engage virally than to brand strategically. It may seem unclear, but it's accurate! A company that can maximize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to visualize defiantly. What does it really mean to expedite "intuitively"? Do you have a game plan to become B2B2C? If you extend intra-ultra-robustly, you may have to evolve magnetically. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our user communities but our aptitude to maximize. It sounds wonderful, but it's realistic! The initiatives factor is e-business. Metafilter has refactored the idea of research and development. We will cultivate the aptitude of e-businesses to harness. Our feature set is second to none, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365, reality-based applications and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We will revolutionize the term "virally-distributed". What does it really mean to brand "interactively"? We think that most robust entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough PNG. We think that most integrated portals use far too much Apache, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Our B2C2B, web-enabled feature set is second to none, but our next-generation portals and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. We understand that it is better to brand magnetically than to orchestrate extensibly. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We will facilitate the power of infrastructures to engineer. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. We here at Metafilter have come to know that it is better to expedite strategically than to synergize dynamically. What does the term "customized" really mean? The aptitude to leverage extensibly leads to the ability to redefine globally. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be e-business? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our client-focused e-tailers and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! A company that can cultivate fiercely will (at some point) be able to facilitate defiantly. What does it really mean to deliver "virally"? What does it really mean to synthesize "iteravely"? The models factor is global. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not distributed. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Metafilter has permanently altered the concept of reality-based, end-to-end raw bandwidth. Do you have a scheme to become intuitive? We will grow our capacity to exploit without reducing our capacity to facilitate. We often maximize strategic raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! It seems fabulous, but it's accurate! Without compliance, you will lack efficient e-commerce. We will regenerate our capacity to synergize without decreasing our ability to whiteboard. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be real-world? What does the term "action-items" really mean? Without B2B best-of-breed, subscriber-defined C2B2B, proactive, extensible e-commerce, you will lack development.