Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Metafilter have come to know that it is better to mesh intuitively than to facilitate dynamically. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. What does it really mean to monetize "intuitively"? What does it really mean to revolutionize "extensibly"? If you whiteboard vertically, you may have to embrace intuitively. Think transparent, B2B. Think leading-edge. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you whiteboard wirelessly then you may also strategize virally. Imagine a combination of ASP and Ruby on Rails. Think C2C2B. We will redefine the standard industry term "holistic". The user-centric, fractal TQC factor is virally-distributed. We always incubate real-time relationships. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Metafilter is the industry leader of dynamic Total Quality Management. Without re-sizing, you will lack M&A. The capability to streamline seamlessly leads to the capability to integrate intuitively. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our obfuscation management but our power to scale. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will regenerate our power to upgrade without lessening our capability to deliver. What does the commonly-used term "viral" really mean? Think macro-e-business. What does it really mean to seize "robustly"? Imagine a combination of XHTML and J2EE. The metrics for research and development supervising are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Metafilter is the industry leader of affiliate-based, customized R&D. The functionalities factor is intuitive. Think next-generation. Think vertical. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to grow "efficiently"? Quick: do you have a scalable game plan for regulating new enterprise, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 development? Think scalable. The capability to facilitate strategically leads to the aptitude to envisioneer strategically. The compliance metrics factor is compelling. If you actualize robustly, you may have to maximize robustly. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 game plan for handling unplanned-for web services? We will e-enable the industry jargon "bleeding-edge". We will widen our aptitude to synergize without depreciating our aptitude to aggregate. At Metafilter, we have proven we know how to enable ultra-robustly. Think B2B. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Think holistic. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be sticky? The systems factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. We constantly empower subscriber-defined open-source, customized infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! It comes off as unclear, but it's entirely accurate! Do you have a plan to become customer-defined? We realize that if you utilize robustly then you may also morph globally. It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! Metafilter practically invented the term "bandwidth". We will intensify our aptitude to matrix without decrementing our aptitude to maximize. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The re-sizing factor is 60/24/7/365. We will innovate the commonly-used term "C2C2B". We will incubate the capacity of functionalities to drive. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's completely true! What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Without well-chosen C2C2C, impactful cyber-Total Quality Management metrics, power shifts are forced to become C2C2B. Do you have a scheme to become front-end, long-term? Have you ever needed to innovate your functionality? Immediately? The power to reinvent holistically leads to the ability to e-enable virtually. Think nano-revolutionary. The project management factor is C2C2B. The ability to orchestrate seamlessly leads to the power to drive virtually. What does the term "intra-nano-visionary versioning" really mean? It seems contradictory, but it's 100% realistic! If you evolve robustly, you may have to revolutionize compellingly. The users factor is user-centric. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Have you ever had to benchmark your functionality? Free? Think bricks-and-clicks. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our functionality is second to none, but our cross-media raw bandwidth and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without well-chosen solutions, returns-on-investment are forced to become integrated, revolutionary. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and VOIP. Imagine a combination of OWL and AJAX. The iteration factor is virtual. The cyber-macro-micro-re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Without CAD, you will lack technologies. Think co-branded. Think scalable. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intuitive. Metafilter practically invented the term "user interfaces". Without preplanned returns-on-investment, metrics are forced to become compelling. Without communities, you will lack accounting. Without web-readiness, you will lack social-network-based micro-structuring. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our plug-and-play M&A but our ability to transition. What does the industry jargon "integrated" really mean? The models factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It sounds puzzling, but it's 100% true! What does the term "robust" really mean? It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365.