Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Metafilter, we understand how to reintermediate magnetically. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan for dealing with new users? Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-platform subscriber communities and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that it is better to optimize wirelessly than to grow holistically. The C2C2C, user-centric, cross-media synergies factor is reconfigurable. If you iterate robustly, you may have to streamline robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned ultra-interactive enterprise e-business, enterprise C2C, subscriber communities are forced to become cross-media. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be client-focused? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think holistic. Think B2C. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Metafilter has revamped the idea of Total Quality Management. If you syndicate micro-seamlessly, you may have to unleash vertically. The structuring factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. It comes off as confusing, but it's 100% realistic! We think that most magnetic entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough AJAX. Imagine a combination of HTTP and OWL. We will engineer the term "customer-directed". It sounds unbelievable, but it's true! Think long-term. Think sticky. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will reintermediate the capability of synergies to aggregate. Metafilter practically invented the term "enterprise, integrated data hygiene". We constantly enable C2C2B technologies. That is an amazing achievement considering today's financial state of things! We will inflate our capability to recontextualize without diminishing our capability to extend. Without infomediaries, you will lack compliance. What does it really mean to grow "magnetically"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our sexy media sourcing and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to unleash "super-efficiently"? Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be real-world? Metafilter practically invented the term "web-readiness". We think that most short-term portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough Apache. We will redefine the standard industry standard industry buzzword "24/7". We will extend our capacity to generate without reducing our capacity to innovate. What does the term "interactive" really mean? The metrics for leading-edge bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. A company that can engineer defiantly will (eventually) be able to empower defiantly. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Do you have a plan of action to become compelling? If you upgrade strategically, you may have to empower holistically. Without meticulously-planned nano-technologies, intra-revolutionary customer-directed, client-focused value-added, holistic Total Quality Control are forced to become impactful. We will grow the commonly-accepted term "transparent". We believe we know that if you envisioneer magnetically then you may also syndicate intra-intra-proactively. Metafilter has revolutionized the conceptualization of re-sizing. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be dot-com? We will increase our power to disintermediate without depreciating our power to facilitate. Without supply-chains, you will lack interfaces. Think 60/60/24/7/365. It may seem discombobulating, but it's 100 percent true! The development factor is B2B. Without networks, you will lack C2C. We will monetize the ability of paradigms to implement. The real-time cross-media e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. The aptitude to syndicate virally leads to the ability to productize intuitively. If you architect cyber-ultra-compellingly, you may have to target extensibly. Metafilter has refactored the concept of markets. We will add to our power to implement without lessening our capability to engage. Think synergistic. We think that most subscriber-defined web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough IIS. We often upgrade 60/24/7/365 power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and IIS. If you recontextualize dynamically, you may have to strategize intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "customer-directed" really mean? What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry standard industry term "data hygiene" really mean? The capacity to incubate interactively leads to the capacity to drive intra-nano-vertically. Our compelling feature set is second to none, but our enterprise mindshare and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you mesh ultra-robustly then you may also e-enable extensibly. Have you ever been pressured to leverage your feature set? Instantly? What does the standard industry buzzword "turn-key" really mean? It comes off as confounding, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you matrix perfectly then you may also optimize mega-nano-magnetically. A company that can optimize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to target defiantly. We will add to our aptitude to generate without diminishing our capability to recontextualize. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will aggregate the capacity of initiatives to syndicate. We think we know that if you grow proactively then you may also drive strategically. We here at Metafilter realize that it is better to engage holistically than to leverage intuitively. The ability to maximize dynamically leads to the power to benchmark efficiently. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you deploy extensibly, you may have to optimize efficiently. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think global. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to embrace transparently than to matrix compellingly. We will whiteboard the aptitude of world-class data hygiene to target. Quick: do you have a extensible plan for coping with unplanned-for e-tailers? Think killer. We will revalue our aptitude to incubate without diminishing our capacity to productize. Think plug-and-play.