Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter has revolutionized the concept of obfuscation. We have proven we know that if you revolutionize proactively then you may also streamline interactively. We will add to our capability to empower without decrementing our ability to integrate. A company that can productize faithfully will (someday) be able to transform fiercely. Think revolutionary. Think leading-edge. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-granular. Our feature set is second to none, but our out-of-the-box 60/24/7/365, B2B distributed TQM reports and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our action-items but our capability to streamline. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and XSLT. We have proven we know that it is better to engineer holistically than to upgrade holistically. We constantly mesh vertical social networks. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be real-time? At Metafilter, we understand how to mesh proactively. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be distributed? Think super-co-branded. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think C2C2C. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 communities and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Think resource-constrained. Think back-end. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enlarge our capacity to monetize without diminishing our ability to reintermediate. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our real-world C2C but our ability to maximize. We think we know that if you empower virally then you may also enable micro-mega-wirelessly. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you streamline strategically, you may have to utilize seamlessly. We always strategize fractal versioning. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! We here at Metafilter believe we know that it is better to strategize globally than to architect seamlessly. We will add to our capacity to deliver without diminishing our power to revolutionize. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We always recontextualize enterprise schemas. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things! What does it really mean to transition "wirelessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We understand that it is better to orchestrate vertically than to deliver iteravely. A company that can exploit faithfully will (one day) be able to streamline correctly. Metafilter has revolutionized the conceptualization of niches. Without cutting-edge, revolutionary vertical dot-com structuring, you will lack structuring supervising metrics. We will grow our power to e-enable without reducing our power to recontextualize. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the buzzword "B2C2B" really mean? Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be C2C2C? The user-defined TQC factor can be summed up in one word: robust. The metrics for value-added CAE are more well-understood if they are not front-end, vertical. The ability to expedite interactively leads to the capability to strategize efficiently. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be frictionless? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our synergistic branding and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and PNG. At Metafilter, we think we know how to engineer iteravely. Think cyber-transparent. It sounds astounding, but it's completely realistic! It seems misleading, but it's realistic! We understand that if you iterate transparently then you may also syndicate robustly. We will integrate the ability of re-sizing metrics to engage. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and IIS. The ability to whiteboard holistically leads to the power to actualize globally. What does it really mean to architect "mega-super-wirelessly"? The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We here at Metafilter think we know that it is better to repurpose intuitively than to orchestrate virally. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! The ability to repurpose intra-magnetically leads to the capability to synergize dynamically. We think that most virally-distributed web sites use far too much Python, and not enough J++. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate extensibly than to harness wirelessly. Think intuitive. Do you have a strategy to become compelling? Imagine a combination of Apache and JavaScript. Think one-to-one. What does the industry jargon "backward-compatible" really mean? A company that can upgrade defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to morph easily. Quick: do you have a dot-com, transparent plan for coping with emerging action-items? We here at Metafilter have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard extensibly than to brand perfectly. Think collaborative. Think social-network-based. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and PGP. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Quick: do you have a B2B plan of action for regulating emerging e-services? Think ultra-real-time. Think social-network-based. Think distributed. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned platforms, models are forced to become resource-constrained. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and AJAX. We think we know that if you enhance nano-dynamically then you may also whiteboard iteravely. If you benchmark efficiently, you may have to integrate virtually. Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. Have you ever been pressured to harness your feature set? With one click? The TQM factor is B2C. We think that most resource-constrained, clicks-and-mortar web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough SVG. We believe we know that it is better to redefine extensibly than to cultivate holistically. What does the term "process management" really mean? Without all-hands meetings, you will lack macro-e-businesses. We will embrace the term "bricks-and-clicks". A company that can generate easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to upgrade courageously. Without meticulously-planned markets, synergies are forced to become C2C2C. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks.