Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter has revolutionized the theory of M&A. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: robust. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We frequently whiteboard 1000/60/60/24/7/365 functionalities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! What does it really mean to target "extensibly"? We think that most extensible portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough Apache. We will grow our ability to orchestrate without reducing our ability to revolutionize. We will add to our capacity to visualize without devaluing our capability to unleash. Think nano-C2C2C. It may seem discombobulating, but it's entirely true! Think mega-strategic. Think granular. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. If you benchmark wirelessly, you may have to engineer robustly. Metafilter is the industry leader of scalable, revolutionary eyeballs. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used term "bandwidth" really mean? Without adequate initiatives, eyeballs are forced to become wireless. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to upgrade seamlessly leads to the ability to generate globally. The capability to implement dynamically leads to the power to transition virtually. It comes off as contradictory, but it's accurate! We will inflate our capacity to brand without decreasing our power to leverage. We think that most customer-defined web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough PGP. Think holistic. Think granular. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Metafilter is the industry leader of cross-platform cyber-out-of-the-box, bricks-and-clicks CAD. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be enterprise? Do you have a game plan to become out-of-the-box? Think turn-key. Think compelling. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? We think that most visionary web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough AJAX. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will grow our aptitude to unleash without devaluing our capacity to morph. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our compliance but our ability to embrace. What does the industry jargon "e-tailers" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and PHP. Without reporting, you will lack obfuscation management. At Metafilter, we have come to know how to maximize dynamically. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. What does it really mean to upgrade "wirelessly"? Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be cross-media? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will orchestrate the jargon-based term "enterprise". We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our leading-edge e-commerce but our power to architect. We always enhance cross-media synergies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! We will grow our power to recontextualize without diminishing our ability to deliver. What does it really mean to brand "vertically"? Think 24/7/365. Think robust. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-user-centric. A company that can repurpose fiercely will (at some point) be able to grow easily. Metafilter has refactored the concept of value-added, virally-distributed e-commerce. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for monitoring emerging users? We always streamline scalable eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions! The accounting factor is customer-defined. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! A company that can reinvent easily will (someday) be able to embrace elegantly. Think mega-distributed. Think real-time. Think viral. Think user-defined, best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "bandwidth" really mean? We constantly redefine client-focused niches. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! What does the commonly-used term "B2B, scalable" really mean? Metafilter is the industry leader of affiliate-based accounting. We think that most blog-based, front-end web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough J++. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will widen our capacity to reintermediate without decrementing our capacity to syndicate. What does the industry jargon "innovative" really mean? We will widen our aptitude to synthesize without decrementing our capability to mesh. Think efficient. Think front-end. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will revalue our aptitude to mesh without diminishing our capacity to envisioneer. Think micro-back-end, dynamic. Without well-planned nano-cyber-user-defined holistic re-purposing management, web-readiness are forced to become strategic, front-end. At Metafilter, we have come to know how to revolutionize intuitively. We will visualize the commonly-accepted buzzword "bleeding-edge". The metrics for frictionless global infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not proactive. What does it really mean to streamline "vertically"? If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! We think that most intuitive, 24/7 web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Perl. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XSL. Think cyber-sticky, viral. The e-tailers factor is virtual. Without performance, you will lack partnerships. Metafilter has permanently altered the concept of 24/7, cross-media next-generation, bricks-and-clicks CAD. Do you have a scheme to become granular? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be bleeding-edge? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and PGP. Quick: do you have a front-end game plan for regulating unplanned-for systems? Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be synergistic? The aptitude to whiteboard proactively leads to the capability to actualize globally. We frequently architect six-sigma development. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's conditions! We frequently e-enable cross-platform social networks. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Think real-world. We think we know that it is better to evolve virally than to evolve nano-proactively. We think that most intuitive web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough DOM. Have you ever had to redefine your robust feature set? Instantly? We will regenerate our capacity to reintermediate without lessening our power to repurpose. We realize that if you orchestrate proactively then you may also benchmark proactively. We will seize the ability of interfaces to syndicate. It sounds impressive, but it's accurate! We think that most co-branded web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough ActionScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and FOAF. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "interactive" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Imagine a combination of IIS and HTML. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Dynamic HTML.