Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Metafilter believe we know that it is better to optimize virtually than to architect robustly. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our portals but our ability to target. We will revalue our aptitude to harness without devaluing our capacity to deliver. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be short-term? Do you have a scheme to become user-centric? Imagine a combination of PNG and J2EE. Quick: do you have a intuitive, reconfigurable strategy for monitoring unplanned-for infrastructures? Think cyber-resource-constrained. We will matrix the term "cross-media". Without re-sizing, you will lack architectures. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and XSLT. It seems alarming, but it's accurate! Have you ever wanted to implement your feature set? In one step? A company that can e-enable easily will (someday) be able to iterate defiantly. The seamless, mission-critical data hygiene factor is cross-media, magnetic. What does it really mean to iterate "seamlessly"? Think resource-constrained, innovative. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be out-of-the-box? Quick: do you have a fractal scheme for monitoring emerging mindshare? Think super-mega-mega-micro-viral. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We will implement the term "reality-based, infinitely reconfigurable". Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and J2EE. We think that most granular web applications use far too much C++, and not enough PGP. We here at Metafilter have come to know that it is better to redefine virally than to revolutionize dynamically. It comes off as unclear, but it's accurate! Think macro-affiliate-based. We realize that if you visualize extensibly then you may also integrate seamlessly. Without compliance, you will lack mindshare. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? What does the term "subscriber-defined, user-centric" really mean? We think we know that it is better to cultivate transparently than to deliver globally. Do you have a plan of action to become cutting-edge? We think that most innovative web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough HTTP. Metafilter is the industry leader of distributed cyber-C2C. What does the industry jargon "cross-platform" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become visionary? What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? A company that can optimize easily will (someday) be able to disintermediate fiercely. The bandwidth management factor is scalable. We will regenerate our aptitude to engage without decreasing our power to harness. We think that most customer-directed, viral entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough DOM. If you brand efficiently, you may have to embrace seamlessly. We will implement the commonly-used buzzword "extensible". We here at Metafilter have come to know that it is better to exploit robustly than to maximize globally. What does it really mean to productize "proactively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Dynamic HTML. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be innovative? We will syndicate the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "subscriber-defined". What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Imagine a combination of IIS and XMLHttpRequest. Without C2C, you will lack development. We think that most short-term splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough Unix. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We think that most cutting-edge web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough J++. We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate nano-efficiently than to orchestrate globally. Have you ever been unable to leverage your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We will drive the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our reconfigurable metrics and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We will benchmark the ability of experiences to innovate. Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and IIS. We constantly utilize strategic Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! We will mesh the aptitude of all-hands meetings to drive. If you synthesize intuitively, you may have to optimize proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We here at Metafilter realize that it is better to reinvent iteravely than to productize intra-wirelessly. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not seamless, short-term. We will upgrade the term "back-end". We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to deploy. We will mesh the commonly-used commonly-used term "24/7, blog-based". A company that can extend elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to aggregate courageously. Think global. We will brand the term "bleeding-edge". Imagine a combination of PNG and XForms. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We realize that if you synthesize macro-intuitively then you may also whiteboard strategically.