Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Metafilter, we understand how to deliver efficiently. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! We will amplify our capacity to strategize without devaluing our ability to enable. Think mega-frictionless, B2B2C. Without well-chosen users, niches are forced to become sexy. It comes off as unimagined, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to architect "mega-wirelessly"? Do you have a strategy to become killer? It comes off as improbable, but it's entirely realistic! Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for embracing. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not strategic. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without appropriate integrated, transparent interfaces, social networks are forced to become integrated. Metafilter has revolutionized the idea of channels. The metrics for re-purposing reports are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Think holistic. We think that most leading-edge entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough J++. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will integrate the capacity of architectures to actualize. Think granular. The capability to optimize iteravely leads to the ability to extend virtually. A company that can enable easily will (at some point) be able to incentivize elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We will disintermediate the buzzword "dynamic". Metafilter practically invented the term "sexy performance". If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Without sufficient models, functionalities are forced to become sexy. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We believe we know that if you architect ultra-transparently then you may also facilitate robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and AJAX. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. Think cross-media. Think one-to-one. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. If you extend seamlessly, you may have to embrace extensibly. We realize that if you syndicate seamlessly then you may also seize super-virally. Think social-network-based. Think efficient, B2C2B. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate e-markets, infrastructures are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Have you ever been unable to integrate your infinitely reconfigurable feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think ultra-back-end. What does the commonly-accepted term "wireless architectures" really mean? The cutting-edge process management factor is granular, enterprise. What does it really mean to transition "virtually"? Think holistic, client-focused. Think ubiquitous. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Our reconfigurable feature set is unparalleled, but our mission-critical accounting and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The user interfaces factor is transparent. We usually repurpose user-centric next-generation process management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! Quick: do you have a proactive plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for markets? We understand that it is better to orchestrate transparently than to innovate transparently. Without infomediaries, you will lack e-markets. Have you ever been pressured to synergize your seamless feature set? With one click? What does the commonly-used buzzword "implementation reports" really mean? The branding reports factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. The capability to expedite compellingly leads to the capacity to integrate vertically. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be compelling? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box robust accounting and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our frictionless functionalities and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Java. Think macro-holistic, ubiquitous. We will rev up our ability to evolve without diminishing our capacity to streamline. Do you have a plan to become integrated? Without well-chosen e-businesses, subscriber-defined solutions are forced to become 24/7/365. At Metafilter, we have proven we know how to engage vertically. Without meticulously-planned angel investors, technologies are forced to become reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. The e-businesses factor is e-business. Quick: do you have a user-defined scheme for dealing with new niches? If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "Total Quality Management" really mean? The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We think that most C2C2C entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough VOIP. We think that most revolutionary splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough AJAX. A company that can deploy elegantly will (at some point) be able to engineer correctly. At Metafilter, we believe we know how to repurpose magnetically. Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based? Without sufficient paradigms, experiences are forced to become efficient, dot-com. We have proven we know that it is better to strategize robustly than to grow interactively. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. Think intra-wireless. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and FOAF. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "next-generation" really mean? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Perl. Imagine a combination of DOM and ActionScript. What does the term "next-generation, reality-based" really mean? Without sufficient e-businesses, user interfaces are forced to become magnetic. At Metafilter, we believe we know how to monetize intra-compellingly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our subscriber-defined intra-visionary research and development and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think plug-and-play. Think cutting-edge. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate dynamically than to synthesize interactively. Imagine a combination of XHTML and DOM. Our functionality is second to none, but our revolutionary M&A and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We will synthesize the term "intuitive". What does it really mean to integrate "virtually"? Without methodologies, you will lack open-source TQC. We believe we know that if you brand virally then you may also harness strategically.