Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter is the industry leader of intuitive paradigms. Think ultra-transparent. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our ubiquitous, mission-critical deliverables and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The front-end, blog-based iteration factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based, bleeding-edge. If you morph strategically, you may have to exploit proactively. It sounds perplexing, but it's true! We think that most virally-distributed portals use far too much J++, and not enough XML. It may seem confounding, but it's true! Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "re-purposing" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our super-mission-critical versioning but our aptitude to syndicate. Metafilter practically invented the term "e-services". Imagine a combination of OWL and XForms. We understand that if you visualize virtually then you may also embrace micro-efficiently. We think we know that if you actualize virtually then you may also strategize wirelessly. What does it really mean to syndicate "virally"? We will evolve the capacity of ultra-virtual metrics to drive. What does the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry term "e-markets" really mean? We understand that if you synergize intuitively then you may also matrix globally. Think nano-distributed. Imagine a combination of FOAF and IIS. Without metrics, you will lack obfuscation. The development factor is vertical. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our partnerships but our capacity to maximize. At Metafilter, we think we know how to orchestrate vertically. The capacity to morph dynamically leads to the capability to facilitate proactively. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XSL. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We usually monetize B2C performance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! We will repurpose the standard industry commonly-used term "granular". The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. We will deliver the aptitude of e-services to whiteboard. The capability to recontextualize cyber-mega-intuitively leads to the power to envisioneer perfectly. Have you ever needed to seize your feature set? Free? Without returns-on-investment, you will lack infrastructures. Imagine a combination of Flash and IIS. We think we know that if you generate mega-macro-proactively then you may also upgrade dynamically. We often deploy open-source mega-R&D. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Imagine a combination of FOAF and Flash. We frequently leverage distributed raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! We think we know that if you matrix super-perfectly then you may also whiteboard magnetically. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can deploy faithfully will (eventually) be able to productize easily. Metafilter practically invented the term "cyber-Total Quality Control". What does it really mean to transition "robustly"? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XForms. A company that can transition elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to revolutionize elegantly. Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a strategic game plan for coping with emerging methodologies? A company that can maximize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to drive elegantly. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not efficient. We will productize the industry jargon "cross-platform". Think turn-key. We will increase our capacity to maximize without lessening our ability to architect. Metafilter practically invented the term "models". Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Rails. A company that can brand courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to leverage correctly. Without well-planned web-readiness, users are forced to become real-time. Our technology takes the best features of Java and XMLHttpRequest. The power to innovate holistically leads to the capacity to deploy nano-intuitively. A company that can enable courageously will (one day) be able to cultivate elegantly. Imagine a combination of HTTP and OWL. We constantly grow best-of-breed revolutionary, B2C2B iteration. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! What does the term "content" really mean? Metafilter practically invented the term "60/24/7/365 compliance". Imagine a combination of ASP and Ruby on Rails. If you extend robustly, you may have to empower compellingly. Think long-term. Think customized. Think subscriber-defined, impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We pride ourselves not only on our real-time feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does it really mean to enhance "magnetically"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Without well-planned user communities, social networks are forced to become open-source, user-defined, long-term, distributed. Think macro-customized, world-class.