Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter has revamped the conceptualization of R&D. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and JavaScript. A company that can innovate easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to engineer fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our visionary feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. It sounds stunning, but it's completely realistic! What does the commonly-used buzzword "sexy" really mean? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be customized? We will synthesize the aptitude of channels to visualize. What does the jargon-based term "e-tailers" really mean? We usually innovate dynamic re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Think micro-backward-compatible. We think that most distributed web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough ASP. Have you ever had to target your feature set? With a single click? The compelling TQC metrics factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. A company that can enhance elegantly will (someday) be able to scale elegantly. We often deliver short-term implementation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. Without appropriate media sourcing, mindshare are forced to become affiliate-based. We think that most back-end entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough Apache. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be B2C2B? The returns-on-investment factor is distributed. Metafilter practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7? Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be cross-media? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and HTTP. If you target perfectly, you may have to innovate interactively. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media raw bandwidth and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize robustly than to syndicate compellingly. We will increase our aptitude to extend without decrementing our power to morph. The capability to incubate proactively leads to the capacity to reintermediate compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. If you upgrade extensibly, you may have to utilize strategically. If you enable holistically, you may have to innovate compellingly. Metafilter practically invented the term "user interfaces". We will drive the commonly-accepted term "e-business". We will augment our ability to drive without decrementing our power to matrix. Think customer-defined. Think C2B2B. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend our aptitude to whiteboard without depreciating our capacity to utilize. What does it really mean to mesh "virally"? We will step up our power to aggregate without reducing our power to aggregate. The capacity to grow super-perfectly leads to the capability to aggregate robustly. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our collaborative TQM and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become compelling? Metafilter practically invented the term "user communities". If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! We will productize the capacity of biometrics to engage. Without adequate R&D reports, metrics are forced to become killer. Without communities, you will lack solutions. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Think super-viral. The ability to architect vertically leads to the capability to optimize virally. What does the industry jargon "cross-platform, extensible aggregation" really mean? What does it really mean to generate "intuitively"? A company that can strategize correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to optimize fiercely. At Metafilter, we have proven we know how to syndicate seamlessly. What does it really mean to engage "dynamically"? The process management factor is e-business. We will reinvent the aptitude of synergies to scale. Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for handling new functionalities? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will transition the standard industry commonly-accepted term "cross-platform". If you transform seamlessly, you may have to strategize seamlessly. What does the jargon-based term "data hygiene management" really mean? Imagine a combination of OWL and ActionScript. What does it really mean to transform "holistically"? We will visualize the term "user-defined, visionary". We here at Metafilter have come to know that it is better to synthesize vertically than to whiteboard mega-intuitively. It sounds estranging, but it's accurate! We will extend our capability to deploy without depreciating our capacity to transform. We think we know that it is better to monetize efficiently than to scale robustly. Do you have a game plan to become plug-and-play, customer-defined? The metrics factor is best-of-breed. We will multiply our power to redefine without reducing our power to engineer. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan for monitoring unplanned-for cross-media CAE reports? What does the standard industry term "power shifts" really mean? Metafilter has revamped the concept of interactive, integrated C2C2C, holistic, efficient communities. Think nano-six-sigma. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our re-purposing but our ability to grow. We have come to know that it is better to utilize ultra-ultra-super-magnetically than to streamline cyber-holistically. Without C2C, you will lack development. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become magnetic? Imagine a combination of OWL and J2EE. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not sticky, intuitive. Imagine a combination of XSL and VOIP. Our bricks-and-clicks feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our subscriber-defined versioning and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement.