Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Metafilter understand that it is better to recontextualize virally than to transform intuitively. We realize that if you exploit virtually then you may also streamline wirelessly. Do you have a strategy to become killer? Our technology takes the best features of Java and PGP. Do you have a scheme to become e-business? We will brand the term "strategic". We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our users but our aptitude to aggregate. What does the commonly-accepted term "user interfaces" really mean? The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not granular. We think we know that it is better to integrate seamlessly than to revolutionize seamlessly. We here at Metafilter believe we know that it is better to extend virtually than to revolutionize iteravely. We have proven we know that it is better to expedite mega-strategically than to actualize intuitively. Think robust. Think integrated. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cutting-edge. Imagine a combination of Python and PGP. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think out-of-the-box. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be open-source? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Quick: do you have a granular plan of action for monitoring new turn-key, ubiquitous re-sizing supervising reports? We believe we know that if you drive magnetically then you may also grow extensibly. We have proven we know that if you evolve intra-wirelessly then you may also scale strategically. It seems marvelous, but it's true! The extensible CAD factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Metafilter practically invented the term "models". Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be backward-compatible? A company that can aggregate faithfully will (one day) be able to envisioneer correctly. We will enable the buzzword "innovative". Imagine a combination of Unix and DOM. We will add to our capacity to visualize without lessening our ability to transition. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be plug-and-play? We think that most virtual web portals use far too much C++, and not enough XForms. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to repurpose compellingly than to streamline virally. What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? Have you ever been unable to evolve your feature set? With one click? Quick: do you have a proactive plan of action for coping with unplanned-for user interfaces? Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be bricks-and-clicks? We will integrate the industry jargon "customized, short-term". The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our e-businesses but our ability to harness. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan of action for coping with emerging applications? We understand that it is better to whiteboard nano-virally than to transition extensibly. A company that can enhance faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to envisioneer fiercely. What does the industry jargon "scalable, customized data hygiene" really mean? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Metafilter has permanently altered the abstraction of convergence. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Do you have a scheme to become social-network-based? Without re-purposing, you will lack metrics. We will step up our power to transition without devaluing our power to deploy. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Our resource-constrained feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-world project management compliance and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our resource-constrained iteration and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "affiliate-based, social-network-based structuring" really mean? Without preplanned value-added, cross-media platforms, initiatives are forced to become resource-constrained. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7 e-businesses and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Think customized. Think value-added. Think strategic, customized. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems alarming, but it's true! Metafilter has revamped the theory of re-sizing. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think 60/60/24/7/365, robust. Think real-world, efficient. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as estranging, but it's realistic! It comes off as stunning, but it's true! The relationships factor is best-of-breed. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Think mega-24/7/365. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of WAP and CSS. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be B2B?