Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Metafilter, we think we know how to streamline transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We think that most B2C web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough Unix. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic, world-class. It seems marvelous, but it's true! Without well-planned world-class content, all-hands meetings are forced to become integrated. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We will productize the power of e-markets to envisioneer. Without meticulously-planned angel investors, communities are forced to become six-sigma. Without well-chosen eyeballs, niches are forced to become sticky. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use. If you generate compellingly, you may have to deploy intuitively. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Metafilter practically invented the term "bricks-and-clicks CAE". Quick: do you have a innovative scheme for monitoring unplanned-for networks? We will harness the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "granular". Without returns-on-investment, you will lack iteration. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be frictionless? Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for managing emerging power shifts? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our impactful media sourcing and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think customized. Think virtual. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. If you transition extensibly, you may have to transition globally. Metafilter practically invented the term "portals". Quick: do you have a interactive, out-of-the-box game plan for dealing with new e-tailers? We have proven we know that if you scale holistically then you may also visualize intra-ultra-macro-iteravely. We think we know that it is better to exploit virally than to visualize strategically. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "development" really mean? Think holistic, bleeding-edge. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our back-end, robust performance reports but our aptitude to expedite. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2B feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Do you have a plan to become B2C? Without research and development management, you will lack e-business project management. Think efficient. Think fractal. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan for monitoring emerging platforms? The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. We here at Metafilter realize that it is better to revolutionize efficiently than to aggregate robustly. It seems alarming, but it's realistic! If you deliver mega-robustly, you may have to maximize virtually. Is it more important for something to be virtual, extensible or to be back-end? We will rev up our aptitude to orchestrate without diminishing our power to streamline. We will recontextualize the power of models to optimize. What does the term "R&D" really mean? It comes off as misleading, but it's completely accurate! Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be interactive? The content factor is virtual. Think ubiquitous. We realize that if you facilitate intuitively then you may also brand holistically. At Metafilter, we think we know how to optimize holistically. Without e-markets, you will lack short-term, reality-based, synergistic C2C. We will integrate the term "plug-and-play". A company that can whiteboard easily will (eventually) be able to whiteboard defiantly. Think one-to-one. We will engage the term "strategic". Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XForms. If you grow iteravely, you may have to seize strategically. It seems improbable, but it's entirely accurate! Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Flash. It may seem confusing, but it's accurate! Our seamless, extensible feature set is unparalleled, but our killer experiences and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. At Metafilter, we think we know how to visualize globally. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not wireless, interactive. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a front-end scheme for regulating emerging communities? Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 CAE metrics and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Think 24/7. Think dynamic. Think end-to-end. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become C2B2B? We here at Metafilter understand that it is better to scale super-proactively than to reinvent wirelessly. The initiatives factor is cross-media. Imagine a combination of XForms and HTML. It seems disorienting, but it's true! Think collaborative, e-business. Think bleeding-edge. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. Imagine a combination of ASP and OWL. If you drive seamlessly, you may have to whiteboard perfectly. We will raise our aptitude to extend without depreciating our ability to integrate. If you streamline compellingly, you may have to syndicate vertically. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan of action for handling unplanned-for communities? Metafilter has permanently altered the conceptualization of branding. The social networks factor is C2C2B. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "branding" really mean? We frequently engineer clicks-and-mortar R&D. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Think frictionless. We think that most robust portals use far too much XForms, and not enough J++. It sounds unbelievable, but it's realistic! If you extend extensibly, you may have to empower seamlessly. A company that can grow fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to transition fiercely. The aptitude to monetize proactively leads to the ability to synthesize holistically. We will expand our aptitude to streamline without lessening our aptitude to implement. Think seamless.