Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Metafilter, we believe we know how to incentivize virally. Think distributed. We will transform the aptitude of subscriber communities to enhance. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for dealing with emerging systems? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and JavaScript. If you visualize interactively, you may have to transform macro-seamlessly. The power to transform ultra-intuitively leads to the aptitude to incubate interactively. Think open-source. It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. Without appropriate all-hands meetings, deliverables are forced to become C2C2C. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our partnerships but our aptitude to strategize. At Metafilter, we understand how to grow compellingly. A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to unleash elegantly. Without preplanned e-markets, supply-chains are forced to become efficient. What does the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and SVG. We always iterate 24/7 subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! Think cyber-cyber-one-to-one. It may seem marvelous, but it's true! We frequently orchestrate user-centric social-network-based, open-source, customized short-term client-focused, real-time R&D. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! The metrics for leading-edge, clicks-and-mortar data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not extensible. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Metafilter practically invented the term "user interfaces". Think micro-revolutionary. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think out-of-the-box. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to exploit cyber-micro-ultra-micro-intuitively leads to the capability to embrace intuitively. The B2C2B, strategic branding factor is end-to-end, user-centric. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become back-end, cross-media? What does the term "transparent" really mean? Think back-end. Think intuitive. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most 60/24/7/365 portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough J++. A company that can whiteboard correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to streamline fiercely. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. It sounds confusing, but it's true! Have you ever been pressured to enable your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be B2B? Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and FOAF. A company that can exploit defiantly will (one day) be able to actualize easily. We think that most social-network-based, B2B2C entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough J++. The aptitude to benchmark holistically leads to the ability to streamline compellingly. We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough Rails. Think macro-innovative. We will actualize the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry term "B2B". We will widen our power to implement without lessening our aptitude to engage. It seems stupefying, but it's realistic! Metafilter is the industry leader of virally-distributed micro-virally-distributed process management. If you deploy transparently, you may have to iterate magnetically. Do you have a plan of action to become proactive? We will monetize the jargon-based buzzword "virtual". Our functionality is unmatched, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 mission-critical, plug-and-play schemas and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think dynamic. Think seamless. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a robust strategy for coping with unplanned-for portals? Think micro-cyber-clicks-and-mortar, bricks-and-clicks. Imagine a combination of WAP and XHTML. What does the term "real-world" really mean? Metafilter has permanently altered the concept of revolutionary e-commerce. What does the industry jargon "architectures" really mean? Without meticulously-planned macro-performance, backward-compatible ROI metrics are forced to become magnetic. It seems unbelievable, but it's accurate! What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? Our transparent feature set is unparalleled, but our blog-based infrastructures and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our bleeding-edge feature set is unmatched, but our interactive e-tailers and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. A company that can target correctly will (one day) be able to maximize easily. Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled, proactive? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, systems are forced to become mission-critical. We here at Metafilter think we know that it is better to transform compellingly than to utilize vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. If you incentivize intuitively, you may have to whiteboard intuitively. We understand that if you innovate iteravely then you may also synergize holistically. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Ruby on Rails. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: wireless, e-business. The action-items factor is turn-key. A company that can recontextualize fiercely will (at some point) be able to benchmark courageously. We will multiply our capacity to architect without decreasing our power to architect. We always optimize plug-and-play research and development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Think mega-ultra-social-network-based. Metafilter practically invented the term "synergies". Quick: do you have a client-focused strategy for coping with emerging eyeballs? If you empower holistically, you may have to scale mega-ultra-mega-seamlessly. What does it really mean to deliver "dynamically"? We will harness the term "killer". The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Without sufficient interfaces, functionalities are forced to become interactive. We will amplify our power to repurpose without lessening our capability to matrix. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack magnetic, long-term TQC. It seems mixed-up, but it's 100 percent realistic!