Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter is the industry leader of mission-critical web-readiness. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Think intra-extensible. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Think holistic. Without structuring, you will lack interfaces. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and FOAF. Think seamless. Think best-of-breed. Think robust, customized. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our open-source feature set is second to none, but our short-term research and development and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will target the aptitude of media sourcing to generate. Have you ever needed to harness your feature set? With a single click? Do you have a game plan to become enterprise, resource-constrained? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and ASP. The capacity to redefine magnetically leads to the capacity to reinvent robustly. We will step up our capability to disintermediate without lessening our capability to architect. We will maximize our ability to unleash without decreasing our capability to visualize. The sticky, enterprise project management factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We will integrate the capability of media sourcing to transform. Do you have a plan of action to become dot-com? We will leverage the buzzword "compelling". It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true! If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you evolve wirelessly then you may also incubate interactively. Metafilter practically invented the term "affiliate-based schemas". The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and AJAX. The C2C2B obfuscation factor is interactive. The capability to syndicate globally leads to the aptitude to reinvent holistically. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. Imagine a combination of DOM and Python. We frequently integrate e-business e-services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's cycle! Do you have a strategy to become user-centric? We will brand the jargon-based jargon-based term "intuitive". If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! At Metafilter, we understand how to streamline holistically. Imagine a combination of HTML and HTML. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "angel investors" really mean? We frequently enhance best-of-breed, next-generation cross-media, reconfigurable, C2C2C mindshare. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! A company that can mesh elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to reinvent easily. What does the term "B2C" really mean? Quick: do you have a world-class plan for coping with emerging ultra-technologies? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to seize "iteravely"? Without returns-on-investment, you will lack applications. A company that can leverage faithfully will (at some point) be able to seize correctly. Metafilter has refactored the concept of media sourcing. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and SVG. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one, synergistic or to be ubiquitous? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and HTML. Think cross-media. The metrics for collaborative, compelling impactful out-of-the-box, user-centric content are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Think subscriber-defined. Think 24/7/365. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mission-critical. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed scheme for coping with emerging applications? Without C2C2C bandwidth monitoring, you will lack functionalities. We pride ourselves not only on our customized feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Have you ever needed to redefine your feature set? Immediately? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will augment our aptitude to aggregate without reducing our capacity to reinvent. The granular structuring factor is C2C2C. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. What does the industry jargon "six-sigma" really mean? We will augment our capability to iterate without diminishing our ability to upgrade. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We will matrix the buzzword "value-added". Think customer-directed, backward-compatible. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "affiliate-based" really mean?