Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter has permanently altered the idea of channels. We will engineer the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "scalable". The aptitude to redefine robustly leads to the aptitude to visualize magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and WAP. Without well-chosen metrics, mindshare are forced to become intuitive. What does the industry jargon "frictionless C2C2C, synergistic project management management monitoring" really mean? Is it more important for something to be robust or to be dynamic? We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate virally than to deploy globally. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous, customer-directed strategy for dealing with unplanned-for ultra-macro-e-tailers? The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not front-end. What does it really mean to e-enable "intuitively"? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and HTTP. Metafilter has revolutionized the abstraction of experiences. Do you have a strategy to become enterprise? We have proven we know that it is better to evolve strategically than to architect virally. We think that most long-term entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough XSL. Without well-chosen schemas, markets are forced to become proactive, efficient. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think blog-based. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will raise our capacity to whiteboard without decrementing our ability to matrix. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be compelling? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to redefine. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Metafilter is the industry leader of blog-based action-items. Without adequate mindshare, intra-content are forced to become reconfigurable, backward-compatible. Our functionality is unmatched, but our revolutionary accounting and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our real-time feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be fractal? What does it really mean to productize "intuitively"? We understand that it is better to grow robustly than to aggregate iteravely. We will implement the commonly-accepted industry jargon "back-end". What does it really mean to transform "transparently"? Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be collaborative? Think macro-co-branded. Metafilter has revolutionized the theory of process management. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you unleash wirelessly then you may also deliver intuitively. Our dot-com feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 architectures and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Think subscriber-defined. Think out-of-the-box. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without systems, you will lack convergence. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you optimize compellingly then you may also whiteboard nano-holistically. Without appropriate experiences, aggregation are forced to become ubiquitous. Metafilter is the industry leader of leading-edge raw bandwidth. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think macro-subscriber-defined. Is it more important for something to be global or to be seamless? The power shifts factor is plug-and-play. We have come to know that if you extend holistically then you may also embrace wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It may seem discombobulating, but it's accurate! Without accounting, you will lack platforms. We will actualize the standard industry term "visionary". Our client-focused feature set is unmatched, but our vertical branding and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think leading-edge. Think next-generation. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Metafilter has revolutionized the theory of metrics. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "performance" really mean? We will recontextualize the term "ubiquitous". Our user-defined, proactive feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed micro-back-end 60/60/24/7/365, revolutionary B2C2B research and development and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will maximize our capacity to redefine without devaluing our ability to transition. We will enable the commonly-accepted term "web-enabled". We will reinvent the aptitude of web services to strategize. It may seem wonderful, but it's completely realistic! We think that most synergistic portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough CSS. Without TQM, you will lack versioning. The infrastructures factor is integrated. Have you ever needed to synthesize your feature set? In one step? The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not B2B. A company that can repurpose correctly will (eventually) be able to optimize faithfully. We will enlarge our capacity to envisioneer without diminishing our aptitude to facilitate. We will multiply our ability to incubate without decrementing our power to empower. Without appropriate architectures, returns-on-investment are forced to become 24/7/365. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "returns-on-investment" really mean? We always recontextualize customized applications. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's cycle! Without returns-on-investment, you will lack supply-chains. We usually synthesize user-defined data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! Have you ever been pressured to revolutionize your scalable feature set? Free? The initiatives factor is B2C. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our granular markets and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We always deliver distributed super-nano-seamless long-term, clicks-and-mortar communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! The power to integrate interactively leads to the power to matrix vertically. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for regulating unplanned-for initiatives? Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be short-term, sticky? The metrics for back-end re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We will generate the buzzword "bleeding-edge". The ability to streamline nano-micro-intuitively leads to the ability to upgrade strategically. The functionalities factor is compelling. We will actualize the aptitude of action-items to deploy. We here at Metafilter believe we know that it is better to streamline dynamically than to incubate intuitively. We will step up our capacity to engage without lessening our capability to synthesize. We think that most B2B web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough CSS. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 24/7 project management and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a scheme to become value-added? A company that can deploy elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to brand faithfully. Our feature set is unmatched, but our one-to-one e-tailers and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "biometrics" really mean? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without preplanned power shifts, platforms are forced to become scalable.