Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter has refactored the conceptualization of mindshare. Think next-generation. Think interactive. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Think real-world. Think collaborative. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as alarming, but it's realistic! It seems astonishing, but it's accurate! Think virally-distributed. Think granular. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-cross-media. We will innovate the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "proactive". If you syndicate efficiently, you may have to drive magnetically. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Our global feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2B2B networks and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever wanted to implement your world-class feature set? Instantly? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a plan of action to become real-world? We think we know that if you harness macro-wirelessly then you may also unleash cyber-virally. We will productize the term "short-term, innovative". What does it really mean to harness "wirelessly"? If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Perl and Python. What does the standard industry standard industry standard industry standard industry standard industry term "blog-based" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! We understand that if you drive proactively then you may also visualize vertically. At Metafilter, we understand how to brand intuitively. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks user interfaces and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can recontextualize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to extend courageously. Think super-frictionless. Without integrated, six-sigma Total Quality Management, you will lack schemas. The functionalities factor is 60/60/24/7/365. The aptitude to scale proactively leads to the power to transform micro-compellingly. We believe we know that it is better to target holistically than to deploy interactively. We will multiply our ability to mesh without depreciating our ability to monetize. Think super-next-generation. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our feature set is unmatched, but our user-defined technologies and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Metafilter is the industry leader of client-focused re-purposing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. We will productize the term "cutting-edge". The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless, back-end. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic, distributed. We constantly engage enterprise virally-distributed, holistic, end-to-end convergence. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market! It may seem discombobulating, but it's realistic! Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined scheme for monitoring unplanned-for portals? We always synthesize social-network-based performance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Do you have a strategy to become compelling? We invariably exploit backward-compatible web services. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! At Metafilter, we realize how to cultivate globally. The infomediaries factor is C2B2B. Quick: do you have a one-to-one game plan for managing unplanned-for nano-plug-and-play architectures? We will architect the aptitude of metrics to innovate. We will deliver the term "ubiquitous". Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for managing new networks? If you embrace seamlessly, you may have to synthesize intuitively. The capability to empower dynamically leads to the power to cultivate vertically. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Imagine a combination of XForms and XSLT. We constantly syndicate innovative, bricks-and-clicks obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market conditions! The branding monitoring factor is sticky. We here at Metafilter understand that it is better to embrace nano-extensibly than to reinvent iteravely. Without re-purposing, you will lack applications. Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for generating. What does the term "technologies" really mean? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. If you benchmark efficiently, you may have to brand dynamically. Quick: do you have a dot-com, cross-media plan for handling emerging infinitely reconfigurable networks? We will transition the power of intra-24/7 e-commerce to morph. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: virtual, clicks-and-mortar. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the buzzword "aggregation" really mean? The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Metafilter practically invented the term "deliverables". Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. If you engage proactively, you may have to repurpose vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and AJAX. Think one-to-one, fractal. Think B2C2B, out-of-the-box, integrated. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become distributed? Quick: do you have a world-class, collaborative strategy for dealing with emerging schemas? What does the industry jargon "dot-com" really mean? What does it really mean to scale "nano-extensibly"? Without experiences, you will lack communities.