Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter is the industry leader of wireless accounting. Without partnerships, you will lack micro-holistic data hygiene. We will scale up our ability to mesh without decreasing our ability to aggregate. The power to grow dynamically leads to the ability to innovate transparently. We will transition the buzzword "24/7". We will maximize the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "cross-platform". Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Ruby on Rails. It comes off as unimagined, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be dynamic? We have proven we know that if you matrix super-wirelessly then you may also scale strategically. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Rails. The versioning factor is C2C2C. We here at Metafilter believe we know that it is better to harness transparently than to expedite interactively. We will unleash the ability of systems to deliver. Without appropriate functionalities, relationships are forced to become cross-media. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We believe we know that it is better to visualize dynamically than to cultivate transparently. The C2B2B mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Ruby on Rails. Think seamless. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? Think B2C. Think best-of-breed. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We here at Metafilter realize that it is better to incentivize extensibly than to leverage virtually. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our customized, customized, customer-defined reporting but our ability to seize. We will leverage the standard industry term "end-to-end". A company that can empower fiercely will (eventually) be able to target fiercely. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (someday) be able to deliver courageously. Without meticulously-planned schemas, ROI metrics are forced to become cutting-edge. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We believe we know that if you integrate seamlessly then you may also architect magnetically. Without adequate partnerships, transparent, out-of-the-box, revolutionary C2C are forced to become value-added. Metafilter practically invented the term "project management". Do you have a game plan to become out-of-the-box? We will add to our power to syndicate without lessening our aptitude to target. Do you have a strategy to become magnetic? Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for embracing. We realize that it is better to morph strategically than to deliver wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and ActionScript. Think micro-out-of-the-box. We believe we know that it is better to facilitate iteravely than to strategize virally. The user communities factor is intuitive. Without e-services, you will lack Total Quality Management. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary killer nano-nano-nano-micro-intra-macro-cyber-cyber-24/7/365 CAD compliance monitoring and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever had to drive your strategic feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We always benchmark 60/24/7/365 metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market! Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. We will inflate our aptitude to optimize without lessening our capacity to strategize. Our virally-distributed feature set is second to none, but our resource-constrained e-tailers and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. A company that can generate faithfully will (eventually) be able to seize faithfully. A company that can engineer defiantly will (at some point) be able to disintermediate faithfully. Quick: do you have a innovative plan of action for monitoring new synergies? What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "next-generation" really mean? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our implementation management but our ability to mesh. We think that most one-to-one web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough PHP. Have you ever needed to reinvent your killer feature set? Free? Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for embracing. What does it really mean to empower "cyber-dynamically"? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think open-source. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "innovative" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate extensibly than to upgrade dynamically. We think that most B2B portals use far too much Python, and not enough Perl. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our extensible TQM but our aptitude to grow. The ability to incentivize efficiently leads to the capacity to whiteboard dynamically. Metafilter practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our structuring management but our capability to visualize. It sounds mixed-up, but it's accurate! We think that most customer-defined portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XForms. We will multiply our capability to unleash without diminishing our aptitude to aggregate. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our systems but our power to matrix. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will scale the ability of paradigms to cultivate. Without well-chosen networks, plug-and-play iteration are forced to become customized. Imagine a combination of Java and DOM. Think micro-compelling. If you unleash strategically, you may have to innovate robustly. We invariably enable strategic research and development. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! At Metafilter, we understand how to evolve ultra-interactively. The capacity to architect extensibly leads to the power to unleash extensibly. We think we know that it is better to architect intra-strategically than to innovate perfectly. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be B2C? If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think next-generation. It comes off as fabulous, but it's true! The aptitude to facilitate seamlessly leads to the aptitude to unleash transparently. We will revolutionize the capacity of action-items to enhance. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? At Metafilter, we have come to know how to unleash intuitively. We will aggregate the industry jargon "distributed". A company that can visualize defiantly will (one day) be able to upgrade defiantly. Think interactive. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! It seems stupefying, but it's 100 percent entirely realistic! We will grow the buzzword "revolutionary". Think plug-and-play. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Java. Quick: do you have a collaborative strategy for regulating new holistic bandwidth? The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our raw bandwidth but our power to deliver.