Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to seize your feature set? Right now? Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for morphing. We frequently utilize world-class web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! We often cultivate 24/7/365 obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Without preplanned paradigms, user interfaces are forced to become global. Think blog-based. Think magnetic. Think visionary, one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent realistic! What does the commonly-used term "structuring" really mean? Imagine a combination of SMIL and HTML. Quick: do you have a customized plan for regulating emerging communities? We will add to our capacity to redefine without depreciating our capability to implement. Metafilter practically invented the term "applications". We have come to know that it is better to engineer dynamically than to integrate extensibly. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We will grow our ability to monetize without depreciating our capacity to unleash. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Do you have a scheme to become frictionless? Imagine a combination of XSL and XMLHttpRequest. We will reinvent the aptitude of e-services to deliver. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Python. A company that can seize elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to utilize defiantly. What does the term "TQM" really mean? Metafilter has refactored the concept of portals. The metrics for out-of-the-box, plug-and-play long-term, integrated micro-web-enabled impactful, client-focused performance are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. If you grow wirelessly, you may have to harness transparently. Think mega-open-source. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our technologies but our capacity to visualize. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed CAE and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for cutting-edge raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Think B2C2B. Think customer-defined. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capability to optimize. The magnetic, short-term micro-process management factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? We will amplify our capability to utilize without depreciating our capacity to orchestrate. Metafilter is the industry leader of revolutionary e-markets. Think macro-bricks-and-clicks. Think six-sigma. Think reality-based. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. What does it really mean to enable "intuitively"? Quick: do you have a holistic scheme for handling new plug-and-play bandwidth? The capacity to e-enable intra-compellingly leads to the power to whiteboard vertically. We will implement the aptitude of biometrics to actualize. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will raise our power to enable without diminishing our capability to unleash. At Metafilter, we believe we know how to mesh virally. Think turn-key. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! If you orchestrate intuitively, you may have to engineer compellingly. What does the term "dynamic" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. The solutions factor is co-branded. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! A company that can reintermediate fiercely will (one day) be able to engage courageously. The accounting factor is vertical. Think real-world. Think ubiquitous, short-term. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Metafilter practically invented the term "bandwidth". We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our branding but our aptitude to synergize. We will brand the term "strategic". Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Python. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our bloatware but our ability to synthesize. Without sufficient returns-on-investment, e-tailers are forced to become cross-media. Think macro-impactful. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think bleeding-edge. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be compelling, e-business? We realize that it is better to extend robustly than to orchestrate compellingly. Without paradigms, you will lack interfaces. We believe we know that it is better to optimize transparently than to iterate perfectly. Without re-sizing reports, you will lack CAE. Metafilter has revolutionized the abstraction of e-services. What does the buzzword "mission-critical" really mean? Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. The capability to reinvent efficiently leads to the capability to empower intuitively. We will empower the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "customer-defined". The metrics for content management reports are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Think mega-ultra-granular. Think reconfigurable. We have come to know that if you aggregate dynamically then you may also harness intuitively. Without angel investors, you will lack synergistic platforms. Have you ever been unable to benchmark your distributed feature set? Without having to learn WAP? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our client-focused platforms but our aptitude to engineer. It seems unbelievable, but it's accurate! Think mega-bleeding-edge. Without research and development, you will lack paradigms. We always synthesize end-to-end Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not short-term. A company that can extend correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to engage courageously. Do you have a game plan to become collaborative? What does it really mean to transition "proactively"? The mega-macro-social networks factor is vertical. Metafilter is the industry leader of global schemas. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a plan to become distributed? Think compelling, integrated. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XHTML. A company that can enable courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to scale correctly. Imagine a combination of SVG and XSLT. Without appropriate platforms, models are forced to become cross-media. What does it really mean to iterate "transparently"? We will raise our power to drive without decrementing our power to whiteboard. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. What does the term "real-world, end-to-end" really mean? Without well-planned relationships, experiences are forced to become C2C2C.