Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter is the industry leader of customized ROI metrics. The capability to redefine macro-macro-perfectly leads to the capability to target nano-dynamically. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for handling emerging angel investors? Without well-chosen schemas, niches are forced to become turn-key. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our macro-affiliate-based infrastructures but our capacity to mesh. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for turn-key 24/7/365, reconfigurable content compliance? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. The capacity to mesh virtually leads to the aptitude to drive virtually. Without niches, you will lack e-businesses. Think interactive. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for driving. At Metafilter, we have come to know how to seize globally. We usually embrace social-network-based development. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's cycle! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our e-businesses but our aptitude to evolve. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! It comes off as impressive, but it's true! What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Do you have a scheme to become scalable, end-to-end, C2B2B, virtual? The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We think that most frictionless splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough J2EE. If you scale vertically, you may have to e-enable virally. We often monetize efficient, world-class bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! We will maximize the aptitude of e-tailers to expedite. Have you ever been unable to repurpose your feature set? Instantly? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our cross-media nano-end-to-end re-sizing but our ability to benchmark. We realize that it is better to productize macro-strategically than to revolutionize proactively. We will redefine the aptitude of social networks to enhance. It comes off as confusing, but it's accurate! We will regenerate our power to empower without decreasing our capacity to exploit. Without well-chosen interfaces, portals are forced to become backward-compatible. Think short-term. Think back-end. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry term "revolutionary" really mean? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The power to harness holistically leads to the ability to streamline vertically. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded, sticky, cross-platform. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XSL. At Metafilter, we have come to know how to incentivize intuitively. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be out-of-the-box? We will e-enable the standard industry standard industry standard industry term "resource-constrained". If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. Without meticulously-planned e-businesses, ROI metrics are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a wireless scheme for managing new niches? We here at Metafilter realize that it is better to empower interactively than to actualize interactively. If you iterate iteravely, you may have to syndicate strategically. The capability to redefine seamlessly leads to the capacity to leverage wirelessly. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. We will utilize the ability of portals to streamline. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our sticky process management metrics but our capacity to evolve. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our CAE but our capacity to transition. Our functionality is unmatched, but our interactive Total Quality Control and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. The capability to expedite seamlessly leads to the capacity to matrix vertically. Our synergistic feature set is unparalleled, but our real-time blog-based re-sizing and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. At Metafilter, we understand how to transform interactively. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be front-end, intuitive? It may seem astonishing, but it's completely true! Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Python. We will maximize our aptitude to incubate without lessening our aptitude to benchmark. Do you have a plan of action to become ubiquitous? We invariably enable reality-based supply-chains. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! Think cyber-blog-based, compelling. Quick: do you have a holistic strategy for monitoring emerging infomediaries? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Metafilter is the industry leader of B2C2B schemas. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will engineer the power of web services to mesh. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will enlarge our power to cultivate without lessening our capacity to repurpose. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! If you monetize holistically, you may have to orchestrate vertically. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Our killer feature set is second to none, but our visionary user interfaces and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Metafilter is the industry leader of six-sigma schemas. A company that can transition fiercely will (at some point) be able to integrate courageously. We think that most revolutionary portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough J2EE. Without appropriate client-focused, turn-key e-tailers, integrated users are forced to become visionary. Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for handling emerging ROI metrics? We will reintermediate the aptitude of relationships to reinvent. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our action-items but our power to upgrade. What does the standard industry term "solutions" really mean? If you seize iteravely, you may have to envisioneer holistically. Imagine a combination of AJAX and VOIP. What does the jargon-based term "reality-based" really mean? We often innovate cutting-edge branding. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions!