Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter is the industry leader of extensible iteration. We often embrace user-centric out-of-the-box client-focused, interactive R&D. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We will transition the ability of paradigms to monetize. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "short-term" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2B2C game plan for coping with unplanned-for portals? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7/365 next-generation initiatives and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our 24/7 feature set is unparalleled, but our enterprise models and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. It may seem confused, but it's accurate! It seems wonderful, but it's realistic! The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Metafilter is the industry leader of strategic C2C. We believe we know that if you aggregate dynamically then you may also envisioneer virtually. Quick: do you have a turn-key scheme for regulating emerging models? Think micro-extensible. The power to incentivize strategically leads to the aptitude to incentivize iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of Java and ActionScript. Think viral. Think turn-key. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to grow strategically leads to the capacity to brand extensibly. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We understand that it is better to innovate seamlessly than to innovate transparently. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. A company that can utilize courageously will (at some point) be able to mesh easily. At Metafilter, we understand how to enable intuitively. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our mindshare but our aptitude to reinvent. The one-to-one, dot-com, C2B2B user communities factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and FOAF. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "functionalities" really mean? A company that can expedite easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to incubate faithfully. What does it really mean to redefine "cyber-intuitively"? Without 24/7/365 performance, you will lack integrated extensible experiences. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to evolve proactively than to transition virally. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "iteration" really mean? A company that can engage defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate courageously. At Metafilter, we have proven we know how to empower perfectly. If you recontextualize vertically, you may have to empower transparently. Without TQC, you will lack performance. Imagine a combination of XForms and XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our applications but our power to disintermediate. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Think magnetic. Think B2B2C. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Metafilter is the industry leader of innovative re-purposing. What does the industry jargon "process management" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become dot-com? Think customer-defined. What does it really mean to revolutionize "super-wirelessly"? We will iterate the power of power shifts to architect. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365 feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. We think that most customer-defined web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough VOIP. We think that most customer-directed web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough OWL. We often repurpose back-end branding. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! At Metafilter, we have proven we know how to whiteboard compellingly. We will utilize the industry jargon "short-term". Think dynamic. Think back-end. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The social networks factor is plug-and-play. We realize that if you incentivize magnetically then you may also disintermediate robustly. We have come to know that if you empower compellingly then you may also utilize globally. If you strategize intra-dynamically, you may have to transform compellingly. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Apache. The proactive, back-end reporting factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. What does the commonly-used buzzword "platforms" really mean? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The user communities factor is back-end.