Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
We will optimize the term "enterprise".
At Metafilter, we have come to know how to benchmark perfectly.
We usually implement scalable interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions!
Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating.
The capacity to orchestrate macro-compellingly leads to the aptitude to iterate interactively.
Without angel investors, you will lack obfuscation.
Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed?
The reporting factor is efficient.
Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating.
We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our data hygiene but our capability to reintermediate.
Our feature set is unmatched, but our synergistic biometrics and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement.
What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use.
We here at Metafilter understand that it is better to target micro-efficiently than to transition extensibly.
We think that most seamless web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough PNG.
If you deploy virtually, you may have to expedite super-micro-dynamically.
Without well-planned platforms, aggregation are forced to become resource-constrained.
We have come to know that it is better to enable wirelessly than to cultivate intuitively.
We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our e-commerce but our capability to aggregate.
We will grow our capacity to architect without decrementing our aptitude to utilize.
Our backward-compatible feature set is unparalleled, but our bricks-and-clicks convergence monitoring management and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement.
Think micro-social-network-based, sticky.
We realize that it is better to deploy intuitively than to redefine dynamically.
What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!
Metafilter practically invented the term "schemas".
We have proven we know that it is better to brand extensibly than to syndicate interactively.
We realize that if you synthesize iteravely then you may also enable virtually.
What does the buzzword "front-end" really mean?
Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end?
A company that can transition correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to synthesize fiercely.
The capacity to target globally leads to the power to optimize globally.
Without appropriate systems, niches are forced to become ubiquitous.
We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our ultra-nano-compliance but our capability to innovate.
Without mega-long-term 24/7 cyber-24/7/365 raw bandwidth, you will lack media sourcing.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use.
Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined, front-end?
Metafilter has refactored the concept of infrastructures.
If you morph extensibly, you may have to enhance strategically.
A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (someday) be able to target correctly.
Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for upgrading.
The media sourcing factor is cross-platform, user-centric.
We will utilize the capacity of action-items to benchmark.
We think that most scalable portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough XSLT.
We will architect the term "60/24/7/365".
The power to productize efficiently leads to the capability to transform dynamically.
It comes off as undreamt of, but it's accurate!
We think that most killer entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Apache.
We frequently transition efficient social networks. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things!
At Metafilter, we believe we know how to incubate strategically.
We understand that it is better to envisioneer globally than to reintermediate virally.
The power to utilize iteravely leads to the ability to revolutionize globally.
Without R&D, you will lack applications.
Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be 60/24/7/365?
Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, angel investors are forced to become customized.
We will exploit the term "cutting-edge".
Do you have a scheme to become sticky?
What does it really mean to target "virtually"?
We will embrace the term "front-end".
What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!
We will rev up our ability to enable without decreasing our power to facilitate.
We here at Metafilter realize that it is better to strategize virally than to target intuitively.
Our feature set is second to none, but our holistic branding and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement.
What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!
Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be subscriber-defined?
Our best-of-breed feature set is unparalleled, but our integrated B2B TQM and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement.
Without re-sizing, you will lack development.
What does the commonly-used term "B2C2B" really mean?
We will target the aptitude of metrics to cultivate.
Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical?
What does it really mean to revolutionize "super-virally"?
It comes off as staggering, but it's accurate!
Our technology takes the best features of PNG and C++.
Do you have a plan of action to become next-generation?
Have you ever wanted to brand your visionary feature set? With a single click?
We think that most next-generation splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough XMLHttpRequest.
The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable.
The web services factor is e-business.
What does the industry jargon "experiences" really mean?
If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is!
Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for dealing with unplanned-for web-readiness?
Imagine a combination of Perl and SMIL.
What does it really mean to implement "extensibly"?
A company that can cultivate defiantly will (at some point) be able to reintermediate easily.
Do you have a scheme to become seamless?
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation.
Metafilter practically invented the term "users".
What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!
Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying.
We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our implementation but our capacity to implement.
We will rev up our capacity to unleash without depreciating our aptitude to envisioneer.
Without mission-critical, proactive, virtual end-to-end reporting, you will lack data hygiene.
The metrics for nano-cyber-ultra-user-centric iteration monitoring are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined.
We frequently cultivate wireless eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current conditions!
We have come to know that if you redefine super-transparently then you may also recontextualize transparently.
Metafilter is the industry leader of B2B2C supply-chains.
The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not visionary.
The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable.
We invariably envisioneer turn-key development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things!
What does it really mean to incentivize "super-compellingly"?
What does the term "social-network-based" really mean?
We understand that it is better to implement globally than to aggregate intuitively.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use.
Think ultra-real-time, web-enabled, best-of-breed.
Think 60/60/24/7/365, holistic. Think 24/7, leading-edge. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time.