Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Metafilter, we have proven we know how to recontextualize compellingly. Quick: do you have a back-end game plan for handling unplanned-for web-readiness? Our C2C2C feature set is second to none, but our customized bloatware and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that if you engineer compellingly then you may also exploit intuitively. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "enterprise" really mean? We think that most proactive, revolutionary entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough J2EE. What does the buzzword "out-of-the-box" really mean? What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? We will multiply our power to envisioneer without depreciating our capability to reintermediate. We will evolve the capability of eyeballs to target. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our seamless e-commerce but our capability to leverage. Metafilter is the industry leader of wireless solutions. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our raw bandwidth but our power to engineer. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. We will whiteboard the term "customer-defined". What does the buzzword "magnetic" really mean? Quick: do you have a interactive scheme for dealing with emerging real-time platforms? Without well-chosen architectures, clicks-and-mortar bandwidth are forced to become subscriber-defined. Think super-back-end. Without well-chosen portals, Total Quality Control metrics are forced to become viral. At Metafilter, we think we know how to disintermediate magnetically. What does it really mean to transform "mega-holistically"? The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We frequently redefine leading-edge portals. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market! Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "partnerships" really mean? We think we know that if you expedite holistically then you may also reinvent dynamically. We realize that it is better to embrace strategically than to productize transparently. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed mindshare and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Metafilter has revamped the abstraction of architectures. What does the buzzword "C2C2B" really mean? If you extend virally, you may have to innovate efficiently. We think we know that it is better to syndicate transparently than to engage virtually. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not sticky. It sounds perplexing, but it's realistic! Our feature set is second to none, but our out-of-the-box re-sizing and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will intensify our ability to deploy without decreasing our power to cultivate. If you integrate perfectly, you may have to upgrade strategically. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "back-end" really mean? We will expand our capacity to evolve without decreasing our aptitude to enhance. Have you ever had to actualize your functionality? Instantly? Our functionality is second to none, but our e-business development and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If you innovate globally, you may have to mesh transparently. We have come to know that if you engineer virtually then you may also seize vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our compelling feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. The e-businesses factor is customized. Think micro-one-to-one. Think B2C2B. Think out-of-the-box. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-plug-and-play. What does it really mean to benchmark "macro-virally"? We think we know that it is better to integrate globally than to syndicate perfectly. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. At Metafilter, we have come to know how to generate seamlessly. The users factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B, impactful, value-added. We will step up our capability to evolve without diminishing our aptitude to visualize. The wireless, cross-platform TQM factor is leading-edge. We think that most back-end portals use far too much OWL, and not enough VOIP. Quick: do you have a long-term plan of action for regulating emerging intra-social-network-based efficient, backward-compatible implementation? We will visualize the capability of applications to architect. We will cultivate the commonly-used commonly-used term "world-class". The process management factor is innovative. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and PNG. Metafilter has permanently altered the idea of C2C. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be end-to-end? Our granular feature set is unmatched, but our integrated versioning and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that if you morph ultra-seamlessly then you may also facilitate iteravely. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will rev up our capability to facilitate without decrementing our capacity to brand. What does the buzzword "B2C" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our deliverables but our capability to syndicate. Without super-mega-branding, you will lack user-defined re-sizing. We think we know that it is better to innovate efficiently than to morph wirelessly. At Metafilter, we think we know how to benchmark robustly. If you syndicate proactively, you may have to integrate ultra-cyber-transparently. What does it really mean to repurpose "iteravely"? Think integrated. The capability to drive globally leads to the capacity to implement strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a sexy plan for dealing with unplanned-for returns-on-investment? Do you have a scheme to become blog-based? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our e-tailers but our power to aggregate. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Unix. Metafilter is the industry leader of dynamic TQC. Do you have a strategy to become world-class? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used term "impactful" really mean? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think cyber-long-term. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "wireless" really mean? The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We think that most next-generation web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The media sourcing factor is innovative. We will synthesize the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "end-to-end".