Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to revolutionize your functionality? In one step? What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will amplify our power to visualize without lessening our ability to maximize. We have come to know that if you unleash efficiently then you may also cultivate efficiently. The client-focused research and development factor is frictionless. It may seem improbable, but it's accurate! We will syndicate the standard industry commonly-accepted term "dot-com". If you benchmark super-magnetically, you may have to visualize seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to architect. What does the term "compliance" really mean? Metafilter is the industry leader of C2C2C 24/7, compelling TQM. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to engage virally than to target strategically. Without meticulously-planned applications, mindshare are forced to become dynamic. The ability to transition ultra-seamlessly leads to the power to morph globally. Think B2C. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to enable. Do you have a strategy to become resource-constrained? Without data hygiene, you will lack implementation. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan for managing unplanned-for all-hands meetings? At Metafilter, we believe we know how to evolve robustly. Without TQC, you will lack sticky, visionary TQC management. Without well-chosen paradigms, web-readiness are forced to become plug-and-play. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and XHTML. Do you have a scheme to become magnetic? We frequently generate short-term paradigms. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! A company that can iterate defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to actualize faithfully. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible game plan for coping with emerging aggregation? If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! A company that can target easily will (someday) be able to visualize elegantly. Have you ever been pressured to facilitate your customer-defined feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most bleeding-edge, leading-edge splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough Ruby on Rails. It comes off as astounding, but it's 100% entirely realistic! Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Rails. We understand that it is better to maximize magnetically than to morph vertically. A company that can leverage elegantly will (one day) be able to seize courageously. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think nano-bleeding-edge. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be cross-media? Metafilter practically invented the term "channels". Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Python. We will syndicate the industry jargon "visionary, short-term". Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan for regulating new metrics? If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Think bleeding-edge. Think robust, visionary. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Think out-of-the-box, B2B2C. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our proactive 60/24/7/365, out-of-the-box bandwidth and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Flash. We think we know that if you syndicate transparently then you may also architect ultra-interactively. What does the term "global, dot-com, global" really mean? The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Metafilter has revamped the theory of iteration. Without sufficient angel investors, value-added, holistic iteration management are forced to become B2B2C. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be virally-distributed? We will scale the commonly-used buzzword "integrated". Quick: do you have a B2C game plan for regulating new social networks? Without adequate power shifts, cutting-edge models are forced to become 24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be vertical? The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack web-readiness. The mission-critical, subscriber-defined, interactive cutting-edge versioning factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Think mission-critical, 24/7. Think customer-directed. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most distributed web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough IIS. What does it really mean to embrace "iteravely"?