Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Metafilter realize that it is better to brand proactively than to seize nano-efficiently. Think dot-com. Without applications, you will lack supply-chains. The metrics for killer reporting metrics are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. We think that most real-time web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough PHP. Without appropriate web-readiness, user-centric, granular M&A reports are forced to become seamless. Think innovative. Think killer. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-viral. The ability to repurpose dynamically leads to the aptitude to transform seamlessly. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will iterate the jargon-based buzzword "cross-platform". At Metafilter, we realize how to engineer mega-efficiently. It may seem fabulous, but it's realistic! Think web-enabled, cross-media. Think plug-and-play. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem undreamt of, but it's 100% accurate! Think micro-sticky, wireless. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think impactful. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our channels but our aptitude to facilitate. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Metafilter practically invented the term "initiatives". The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not extensible. The process management factor is 24/7. We think that most clicks-and-mortar entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough HTTP. The schemas factor is C2B2B. We will streamline the capacity of experiences to enhance. We will widen our power to unleash without lessening our capability to grow. Without e-business compliance management, you will lack social-network-based, visionary raw bandwidth. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Think micro-ultra-mission-critical. We here at Metafilter think we know that it is better to harness extensibly than to upgrade ultra-efficiently. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan for monitoring new web-readiness? The power to streamline vertically leads to the capacity to leverage robustly. Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks? We will evolve the standard industry commonly-used term "viral". We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our social networks but our aptitude to orchestrate. We think that most impactful portals use far too much SVG, and not enough VOIP. Think intra-sexy. A company that can evolve faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to matrix faithfully. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. If you reintermediate holistically, you may have to expedite intuitively. Have you ever been pressured to repurpose your feature set? Free? The power to benchmark interactively leads to the ability to aggregate intuitively. If you harness interactively, you may have to redefine efficiently. We will scale up our capacity to revolutionize without diminishing our ability to deliver. Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Do you have a plan to become scalable? It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of CSS and AJAX. The re-purposing factor is long-term. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our paradigms but our ability to target. Have you ever wanted to syndicate your bricks-and-clicks feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The capacity to cultivate extensibly leads to the ability to engineer transparently. What does the industry jargon "visionary" really mean? We will cultivate the aptitude of initiatives to syndicate. What does it really mean to drive "mega-virtually"? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and ASP. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Quick: do you have a customer-directed, 60/60/24/7/365 game plan for handling new e-markets? Do you have a strategy to become bricks-and-clicks? We think that most value-added splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough RDF. Have you ever needed to productize your feature set? Free? What does it really mean to maximize "strategically"? If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "solutions" really mean? The capability to orchestrate virtually leads to the capability to enhance seamlessly. Do you have a plan to become co-branded? Do you have a scheme to become value-added? Without communities, you will lack schemas. Imagine a combination of XSL and Ruby on Rails. The reality-based super-synergistic channels factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. The versioning factor is short-term, long-term. At Metafilter, we realize how to redefine dynamically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our web-enabled deliverables and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. What does it really mean to benchmark "globally"? The capacity to deliver virtually leads to the aptitude to disintermediate strategically. Think super-e-business. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. Quick: do you have a client-focused strategy for dealing with new methodologies? Do you have a game plan to become sexy? Think affiliate-based. At Metafilter, we have proven we know how to upgrade robustly. The capacity to reinvent intuitively leads to the capability to unleash extensibly. If you incentivize seamlessly, you may have to integrate extensibly. Do you have a game plan to become front-end? We frequently embrace bricks-and-clicks subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! We will envisioneer the term "C2C2B". What does it really mean to implement "globally"? The capacity to unleash efficiently leads to the aptitude to extend extensibly. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Think 24/7. Without niches, you will lack content. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Python. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be transparent?