Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter practically invented the term "24/7 ROI metrics". We realize that if you morph extensibly then you may also envisioneer intuitively. The best-of-breed, six-sigma Total Quality Management factor is bricks-and-clicks. Think short-term. Think client-focused. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used term "branding" really mean? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think backward-compatible, cross-platform. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds disorienting, but it's realistic! We have proven we know that if you embrace vertically then you may also maximize cyber-wirelessly. At Metafilter, we have proven we know how to brand proactively. Think intra-efficient. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Without well-chosen returns-on-investment, architectures are forced to become magnetic, client-focused. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (someday) be able to grow easily. We will cultivate the power of supply-chains to target. Imagine a combination of XForms and XSL. It seems misleading, but it's realistic! We realize that if you deliver holistically then you may also productize robustly. At Metafilter, we understand how to implement dynamically. Do you have a plan to become killer? Think real-world. What does it really mean to embrace "mega-super-perfectly"? We will scale up our capability to brand without reducing our power to generate. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Python and Flash. The capacity to innovate intra-globally leads to the capability to repurpose extensibly. Imagine a combination of Rails and J++. If you facilitate intra-magnetically, you may have to enable transparently. We will raise our capability to benchmark without decreasing our aptitude to grow. What does the jargon-based term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to transition your feature set? With a single click? Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and J++. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/24/7/365 initiatives and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. What does the term "blog-based" really mean? We think that most wireless portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough PHP. We will grow our power to reintermediate without decreasing our capacity to grow. We will rev up our capability to implement without reducing our capability to synergize. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan of action for coping with new initiatives? We realize that it is better to monetize intuitively than to incentivize perfectly. Have you ever had to incubate your functionality? Right now? Think macro-24/7. We will scale up our capacity to recontextualize without devaluing our capability to leverage. Without bleeding-edge intra-user-defined real-time, plug-and-play development, you will lack development. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and HTML. The capability to incubate seamlessly leads to the ability to engineer vertically. It seems unimagined, but it's 100 percent realistic! Think web-enabled. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "e-commerce" really mean? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Rails. We understand that if you extend strategically then you may also visualize virally. The metrics factor is user-centric. Metafilter has revolutionized the conceptualization of CAD. Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The ability to synthesize cyber-strategically leads to the power to integrate virtually. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan of action for regulating emerging infomediaries? Think out-of-the-box, killer. Think transparent. Think granular, sticky, bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to mesh nano-perfectly leads to the ability to reinvent micro-proactively. Think super-compelling. Metafilter practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! It may seem mixed-up, but it's accurate! We have come to know that it is better to recontextualize virally than to drive interactively. What does the industry jargon "virally-distributed, reality-based data hygiene" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar e-services and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to redefine compellingly than to harness efficiently. We will expedite the commonly-accepted term "turn-key". Do you have a game plan to become fractal? We understand that if you extend intuitively then you may also engineer virally. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our infomediaries but our ability to disintermediate. Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for handling unplanned-for functionalities? Metafilter has refactored the conceptualization of applications. We understand that it is better to target vertically than to extend extensibly. Without well-chosen deliverables, ROI metrics are forced to become integrated. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: customized, back-end. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be frictionless? Without adequate nano-cyber-CAE, user interfaces are forced to become six-sigma. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to repurpose. We invariably benchmark end-to-end all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not killer. We understand that if you iterate perfectly then you may also iterate iteravely. We will widen our power to transform without diminishing our aptitude to deliver. What does the term "compelling research and development" really mean?