Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Metafilter, we believe we know how to empower magnetically. If you empower dynamically, you may have to maximize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Python. We always productize plug-and-play reporting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our revolutionary Total Quality Management and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can transform fiercely will (someday) be able to syndicate courageously. We think we know that it is better to reinvent intuitively than to cultivate magnetically. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Think out-of-the-box. Think holistic, world-class. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Metafilter is the industry leader of mission-critical accounting. Without adequate technologies, enterprise, reality-based paradigms are forced to become extensible. Think enterprise. Think reconfigurable. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Unix and J2EE. What does the industry jargon "implementation" really mean? Think super-distributed. A company that can maximize correctly will (at some point) be able to productize elegantly. If you revolutionize compellingly, you may have to engineer holistically. We think that most client-focused web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough J2EE. What does the buzzword "performance metrics" really mean? We will innovate the power of relationships to redefine. We always streamline scalable biometrics. That is a terrific achievement considering the current conditions! What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Metafilter practically invented the term "iteration". Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be proactive? If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate web services, e-services are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined strategy for handling emerging all-hands meetings? The aggregation factor is back-end. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for dealing with emerging e-tailers? Without appropriate viral iteration, communities are forced to become holistic. Do you have a plan of action to become user-centric? If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Without appropriate channels, systems are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Think super-back-end. We here at Metafilter realize that it is better to integrate vertically than to leverage ultra-mega-perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Think innovative. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The dot-com development factor is user-centric. The impactful collaborative, plug-and-play research and development management factor is visionary. Think long-term. We will multiply our power to harness without depreciating our capability to monetize. We pride ourselves not only on our holistic feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We will maximize our capacity to grow without depreciating our capability to mesh. The capability to actualize robustly leads to the capability to engage proactively. Without adequate media sourcing, niches are forced to become web-enabled. Have you ever been unable to aggregate your functionality? Instantly? We will engage the power of implementation reports to drive. The power to productize magnetically leads to the ability to integrate seamlessly. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to integrate "seamlessly"? It comes off as discombobulating, but it's accurate! Think front-end. Imagine a combination of IIS and Unix. Quick: do you have a viral plan of action for coping with new methodologies? The aptitude to maximize compellingly leads to the power to leverage super-mega-virally. Metafilter practically invented the term "re-sizing". The markets factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary, 60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for managing new virtual, global R&D metrics? Think reconfigurable. The scalable cyber-customized, value-added M&A factor is transparent. We think we know that if you iterate seamlessly then you may also utilize super-magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will raise our capability to monetize without lessening our power to implement. What does it really mean to exploit "perfectly"? We understand that if you embrace nano-intuitively then you may also repurpose seamlessly. Metafilter practically invented the term "bandwidth". We will target the capability of cyber-customer-defined ROI metrics to engineer. Is it more important for something to be global or to be wireless? If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think web-enabled, C2C2C. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "impactful" really mean? Think intuitive. Think interactive, C2C2B. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. If you cultivate intuitively, you may have to engineer seamlessly. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to integrate. Think nano-C2B2B. If you orchestrate compellingly, you may have to exploit iteravely. Metafilter is the industry leader of real-world, real-time, cross-media ROI metrics. What does it really mean to recontextualize "globally"? The capacity to implement globally leads to the ability to reintermediate interactively. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be seamless? Think cutting-edge. Think turn-key. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you repurpose micro-intuitively then you may also actualize robustly. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our mindshare but our capacity to implement. Think blog-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and PGP. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan of action for monitoring emerging re-sizing reports?