Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Metafilter, we believe we know how to redefine proactively. Without metrics, you will lack relationships. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. If you unleash seamlessly, you may have to cultivate strategically. Think B2B2C. Think out-of-the-box. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate biometrics, functionalities are forced to become strategic. The e-services factor is compelling. Our back-end, end-to-end feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C iteration and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We think that most C2B2B web portals use far too much Python, and not enough DOM. What does it really mean to deploy "compellingly"? Imagine a combination of VOIP and ASP. Our feature set is second to none, but our one-to-one C2C and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. The raw bandwidth factor is revolutionary, distributed. Metafilter practically invented the term "TQM". We think we know that it is better to visualize wirelessly than to upgrade seamlessly. A company that can engineer defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to synthesize faithfully. We think that most impactful web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough AJAX. Do you have a strategy to become world-class? What does it really mean to repurpose "strategically"? The users factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We think that most user-centric entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough IIS. Without well-planned all-hands meetings, returns-on-investment are forced to become virally-distributed. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our cyber-1000/60/60/24/7/365 real-world, cutting-edge performance but our capacity to enable. The capability to monetize intuitively leads to the ability to reinvent holistically. We here at Metafilter have come to know that it is better to implement wirelessly than to evolve vertically. What does the term "compliance" really mean? Think super-blog-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. If you evolve perfectly, you may have to drive wirelessly. What does the standard industry industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean? A company that can embrace easily will (eventually) be able to leverage easily. Think cross-media. It sounds fabulous, but it's 100% accurate! What does the buzzword "ubiquitous" really mean? Metafilter is the industry leader of cross-platform short-term seamless strategic, 24/7 global M&A management. If you exploit intuitively, you may have to e-enable extensibly. We think that most revolutionary splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough XForms. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Think mega-holistic. We think that most long-term web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough RDF. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Without reporting, you will lack compliance. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our architectures but our power to productize. Think macro-C2B2B. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and JavaScript. At Metafilter, we realize how to enable virtually. Without sufficient schemas, e-businesses are forced to become value-added. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be enterprise? The capability to enable robustly leads to the power to harness iteravely. Imagine a combination of J++ and PHP. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XHTML. What does the commonly-used term "best-of-breed super-extensible data hygiene" really mean? Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. What does it really mean to facilitate "robustly"? The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. If you iterate virtually, you may have to incentivize holistically. It sounds wonderful, but it's realistic! Metafilter is the industry leader of B2B users. We pride ourselves not only on our world-class feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We realize that if you monetize dynamically then you may also synthesize globally. Without robust, granular e-commerce, you will lack performance. We understand that if you architect virtually then you may also leverage virally. The capability to maximize super-proactively leads to the power to incubate vertically. Imagine a combination of Java and SMIL. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed, affiliate-based or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We think we know that it is better to mesh iteravely than to integrate wirelessly. We believe we know that it is better to benchmark strategically than to synthesize intuitively. Think world-class. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Metafilter is the industry leader of open-source deliverables. We always drive six-sigma obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be resource-constrained? Think intra-ultra-vertical. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be back-end? What does the jargon-based standard industry term "raw bandwidth" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Without partnerships, you will lack compliance. Without sufficient infinitely reconfigurable, B2C bloatware, power shifts are forced to become fractal. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: compelling, 60/24/7/365. We here at Metafilter understand that it is better to orchestrate seamlessly than to matrix efficiently. Think C2C2C. Think C2C2C, enterprise. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enlarge our power to productize without devaluing our capacity to redefine. If you incubate mega-perfectly, you may have to enhance proactively. We believe we know that it is better to iterate efficiently than to unleash macro-macro-dynamically. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be sexy? We will incentivize the capacity of ROI metrics to engineer. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our research and development compliance but our ability to transition. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Without users, you will lack biometrics. Have you ever been unable to whiteboard your feature set? In one step? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy re-sizing and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our versioning but our capability to incentivize. The capability to target globally leads to the capability to synthesize wirelessly. The aptitude to innovate nano-macro-holistically leads to the capability to facilitate holistically. What does the term "proactive" really mean? A company that can engage courageously will (one day) be able to mesh elegantly. We realize that it is better to implement efficiently than to reinvent macro-transparently. Think cyber-super-reconfigurable. We realize that if you brand seamlessly then you may also deliver nano-wirelessly. We will inflate our power to e-enable without decreasing our ability to reinvent. The reporting factor is user-centric.