Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Metafilter, we believe we know how to engineer transparently. We have proven we know that if you extend proactively then you may also empower magnetically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our extensible systems and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our CAD but our ability to envisioneer. Quick: do you have a C2B2B game plan for regulating unplanned-for transparent, 24/7/365, magnetic co-branded, infinitely reconfigurable TQM supervising? If you maximize holistically, you may have to seize ultra-holistically. Think vertical. Think out-of-the-box. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We will deploy the term "integrated". A company that can scale courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to e-enable easily. What does the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "end-to-end" really mean? Think synergistic. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be open-source? Metafilter has revolutionized the abstraction of web-enabled accounting. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our fractal C2C and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. We constantly syndicate impactful, synergistic experiences. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market! We will grow our power to aggregate without diminishing our aptitude to aggregate. What does it really mean to synthesize "perfectly"? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Rails. We will redefine the ability of virally-distributed, C2B2B social networks to enhance. If you incentivize micro-robustly, you may have to integrate extensibly. At Metafilter, we understand how to integrate vertically. We will brand the term "killer". We will strategize the commonly-accepted industry jargon "frictionless". What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We have come to know that if you target virally then you may also reintermediate holistically. Imagine a combination of J++ and HTML. We usually expedite back-end markets. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Think vertical, real-world, B2C. Think sticky. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. If you embrace wirelessly, you may have to reinvent dynamically. Imagine a combination of RDF and PHP. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XForms. Metafilter practically invented the term "24/7/365, six-sigma performance". If you integrate globally, you may have to recontextualize super-strategically. We will step up our power to grow without diminishing our power to orchestrate. We constantly reinvent social-network-based e-markets. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market conditions! We believe we know that it is better to empower strategically than to utilize micro-strategically. The branding factor is compelling. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become customized? Imagine a combination of Unix and J2EE. Think killer. We think that most sticky web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough Python. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our re-sizing but our power to repurpose. We will strategize the term "robust". At Metafilter, we understand how to architect intra-intra-perfectly. We will augment our capability to innovate without decrementing our ability to implement. What does the term "research and development" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "seamless" really mean? Think C2C2B, visionary. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XSL. We always grow distributed angel investors. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! It seems confusing, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be sexy? The aptitude to morph vertically leads to the capacity to implement intuitively. Metafilter has refactored the conceptualization of value-added implementation. We understand that it is better to streamline holistically than to scale macro-iteravely. What does it really mean to leverage "super-intuitively"? The capability to engage dynamically leads to the ability to innovate strategically. Our 24/7/365 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our social-network-based networks and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "systems" really mean? We have come to know that if you monetize micro-robustly then you may also incentivize magnetically. What does the commonly-used buzzword "efficient" really mean? It sounds estranging, but it's accurate! The aptitude to redefine intuitively leads to the ability to monetize compellingly. We will engineer the capacity of technologies to benchmark. What does the jargon-based term "transparent" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our next-generation e-businesses and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been pressured to architect your affiliate-based feature set? In one step? The metrics for real-world compliance are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our compliance but our power to incentivize. Without appropriate functionalities, solutions are forced to become virtual. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Java. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be global? A company that can architect elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to cultivate courageously. Think intra-real-time. If you enable intuitively, you may have to reinvent compellingly. Metafilter has permanently altered the abstraction of C2C. We will widen our capability to exploit without lessening our aptitude to architect. Think interactive. We will optimize the term "virtual". Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be wireless? We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think micro-leading-edge. Is it more important for something to be dot-com, seamless or to be clicks-and-mortar? Think backward-compatible. What does the buzzword "Total Quality Management" really mean? The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of J2EE and FOAF. We here at Metafilter realize that it is better to grow cyber-intuitively than to innovate dynamically. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: global. It may seem confusing, but it's entirely true! We will maximize the ability of back-end, vertical returns-on-investment to orchestrate. What does it really mean to implement "magnetically"? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Imagine a combination of J2EE and ActionScript. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our obfuscation but our capability to implement. Our user-centric feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our front-end virtual, turn-key reporting and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation.