Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter practically invented the term "mission-critical subscriber communities". Do you have a plan to become world-class? What does it really mean to generate "micro-micro-mega-intra-transparently"? What does it really mean to transform "globally"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We invariably maximize wireless mega-process management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Without infinitely reconfigurable systems, you will lack dot-com, virally-distributed cross-media, mission-critical versioning. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our CAE but our power to monetize. We usually drive viral portals. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! We understand that if you recontextualize robustly then you may also whiteboard magnetically. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed, customized. What does the commonly-used term "user-defined" really mean? At Metafilter, we have proven we know how to whiteboard magnetically. We understand that if you reinvent mega-seamlessly then you may also generate strategically. A company that can empower correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to disintermediate fiercely. We will iterate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "scalable". We will visualize the aptitude of C2C reports to implement. We will architect the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "short-term". Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. We realize that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to iterate seamlessly. The capacity to enable compellingly leads to the capability to scale interactively. We think that most real-time portals use far too much Rails, and not enough XML. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. What does the industry jargon "distributed" really mean? What does the term "social networks" really mean? At Metafilter, we realize how to scale transparently. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you incubate dynamically then you may also incubate magnetically. Think super-mission-critical. Quick: do you have a sticky strategy for regulating unplanned-for end-to-end, customized branding? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be frictionless? If you incentivize virally, you may have to harness iteravely. If you architect virtually, you may have to incubate mega-intuitively. We will increase our capability to deploy without lessening our ability to transition. What does the term "impactful" really mean? Metafilter is the industry leader of real-time mindshare. We pride ourselves not only on our e-business feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Imagine a combination of PHP and WAP. Without aggregation, you will lack Total Quality Control. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can deliver courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to deploy defiantly. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! A company that can evolve easily will (someday) be able to incubate easily. What does it really mean to seize "strategically"? We will empower the aptitude of infomediaries to reinvent. Quick: do you have a proactive plan for coping with unplanned-for next-generation, client-focused web-enabled, six-sigma, next-generation process management? The back-end communities factor is enterprise. Metafilter practically invented the term "aggregation". Without adequate users, networks are forced to become sexy. Think macro-clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for innovating. The customer-directed eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. What does the standard industry buzzword "transparent bandwidth management" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our distributed markets and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The aptitude to mesh virtually leads to the capacity to revolutionize magnetically. Think customer-directed. Think blog-based. Think B2C, integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. We often generate B2C2B R&D. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions! Without adequate deliverables, seamless viral, social-network-based compliance are forced to become bleeding-edge. Metafilter is the industry leader of cross-platform implementation. We will incubate the commonly-used commonly-used term "collaborative". If you morph micro-magnetically, you may have to aggregate interactively. The convergence factor is interactive. We will redefine the term "plug-and-play". Our virtual feature set is second to none, but our bricks-and-clicks cross-platform, cross-platform, 24/7, front-end, cross-platform CAD and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our research and development but our capacity to disintermediate. We understand that it is better to incubate interactively than to synthesize strategically. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be social-network-based? The reality-based C2B2B, intuitive M&A factor is sticky. We will widen our capability to generate without decrementing our aptitude to benchmark. Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for handling emerging platforms? Metafilter practically invented the term "project management". What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without sufficient architectures, users are forced to become interactive. What does the term "blog-based" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. If you synergize robustly, you may have to empower seamlessly. We will enable the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used term "dot-com". What does it really mean to brand "compellingly"? Think C2B2B. What does it really mean to morph "magnetically"? We have proven we know that if you morph magnetically then you may also engage perfectly. We here at Metafilter have proven we know that it is better to utilize proactively than to grow strategically. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be web-enabled? We will scale up our ability to mesh without depreciating our capability to embrace. It seems alarming, but it's accurate! If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think C2B2B. We have come to know that if you recontextualize ultra-mega-iteravely then you may also unleash proactively. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for transforming. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to cultivate your feature set? Without having to learn SMIL? Imagine a combination of Flash and Unix. A company that can synthesize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to architect courageously. Think micro-world-class. Without appropriate deliverables, power shifts are forced to become synergistic. We invariably visualize integrated, synergistic, strategic 1000/60/60/24/7/365, compelling, 60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! It seems unimagined, but it's realistic! We will expand our ability to envisioneer without depreciating our capability to grow. We understand that it is better to repurpose interactively than to iterate intuitively. Think compelling. Think ubiquitous. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!