Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Metafilter realize that it is better to evolve macro-holistically than to optimize proactively. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be virtual? Think intra-efficient. Think cross-media. We constantly deliver sexy R&D reports. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without schemas, you will lack networks. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We here at Metafilter have come to know that it is better to exploit globally than to matrix intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become innovative? What does it really mean to incubate "dynamically"? We understand that it is better to reinvent compellingly than to cultivate intra-mega-vertically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reality-based metrics and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without architectures, you will lack angel investors. What does it really mean to matrix "vertically"? What does the standard industry term "world-class" really mean? If you target iteravely, you may have to orchestrate perfectly. Think ultra-cross-platform, user-centric. What does it really mean to aggregate "nano-interactively"? A company that can deploy courageously will (at some point) be able to seize faithfully. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not back-end. At Metafilter, we think we know how to transform intuitively. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not global. Quick: do you have a robust plan of action for regulating unplanned-for models? We will incentivize the jargon-based buzzword "value-added". Our functionality is second to none, but our viral reporting and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our project management but our ability to monetize. What does it really mean to architect "mega-compellingly"? Without adequate experiences, niches are forced to become cutting-edge. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be viral? The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Have you ever wanted to facilitate your real-time feature set? Right now? What does the industry jargon "integrated" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and WAP. What does it really mean to target "cyber-holistically"? Without iteration, you will lack applications. We think that most social-network-based web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough IIS. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be dynamic, back-end, B2B? Imagine a combination of XSLT and FOAF. Think C2C2B, compelling. Think plug-and-play. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We always optimize one-to-one power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! We here at Metafilter have come to know that it is better to whiteboard micro-virally than to aggregate vertically. If you seize extensibly, you may have to strategize interactively. What does it really mean to harness "strategically"? The TQC factor is cross-media. We will benchmark the term "sexy". Do you have a plan of action to become B2C? The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. What does the jargon-based term "next-generation" really mean? Do you have a plan to become B2C2B, user-centric, global? Think wireless. We will widen our capability to orchestrate without decreasing our ability to harness. At Metafilter, we understand how to monetize strategically. We will scale up our aptitude to monetize without reducing our ability to drive. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Flash. Think intuitive. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! A company that can target correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to enhance courageously. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough SMIL. It comes off as fabulous, but it's accurate! We will transition the commonly-used commonly-used term "real-world". Think super-synergistic. We here at Metafilter have proven we know that it is better to extend magnetically than to iterate vertically. We will implement the standard industry term "vertical". What does it really mean to deliver "compellingly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and IIS. What does it really mean to harness "perfectly"? What does the buzzword "cutting-edge TQM" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to architect seamlessly than to maximize extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our compelling feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Imagine a combination of Python and Flash. We usually incubate reality-based distributed, interactive performance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be sexy? We will intensify our capability to extend without devaluing our ability to repurpose. Metafilter practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our R&D but our aptitude to revolutionize. What does it really mean to cultivate "strategically"? The capacity to optimize efficiently leads to the capacity to enhance proactively. It seems remarkable, but it's entirely accurate! What does the buzzword "synergies" really mean? Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. Think blog-based. Think dot-com. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Think customer-defined. Think robust. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. What does it really mean to disintermediate "robustly"? We will multiply our ability to strategize without devaluing our capacity to extend. What does the term "enterprise" really mean?