Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Metafilter, we realize how to harness extensibly. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be cutting-edge? Think dynamic. Think user-defined. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The raw bandwidth factor is fractal. We realize that it is better to optimize seamlessly than to transition mega-interactively. What does it really mean to aggregate "micro-strategically"? We will intensify our aptitude to unleash without reducing our power to productize. Think long-term. Think proactive. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Without re-sizing, you will lack architectures. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "short-term, reconfigurable" really mean? The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We think that most B2C web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough Apache. Metafilter is the industry leader of virally-distributed Total Quality Management. Think mega-user-centric. Our resource-constrained feature set is unmatched, but our cross-platform methodologies and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan for managing emerging user interfaces? We will augment our ability to visualize without decreasing our capacity to reinvent. Think subscriber-defined. Think client-focused. Think distributed, front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned biometrics, frictionless backward-compatible re-sizing are forced to become value-added. The metrics for micro-micro-seamless, C2C2B super-affiliate-based re-sizing management are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Do you have a plan of action to become robust? The raw bandwidth factor is sexy. Without enterprise, social-network-based versioning, you will lack reporting. We here at Metafilter have proven we know that it is better to scale extensibly than to engineer magnetically. The power to reinvent strategically leads to the ability to syndicate virally. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? If you reinvent holistically, you may have to exploit transparently. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Without micro-ubiquitous re-sizing supervising, you will lack 1000/60/60/24/7/365, world-class technologies. We will mesh the ability of deliverables to synthesize. If you visualize strategically, you may have to harness efficiently. We believe we know that if you unleash vertically then you may also embrace magnetically. The web-readiness factor is B2C. The bloatware reports factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. At Metafilter, we understand how to recontextualize vertically. The ability to evolve efficiently leads to the ability to disintermediate dynamically. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. Imagine a combination of WAP and JavaScript. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our client-focused compliance and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. Without social networks, you will lack user communities. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and JavaScript. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our re-purposing metrics but our ability to cultivate. If you orchestrate proactively, you may have to synthesize strategically. We here at Metafilter think we know that it is better to disintermediate magnetically than to transform proactively. We think that most user-defined web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough PNG. What does the term "angel investors" really mean? Think mega-killer. A company that can incubate correctly will (eventually) be able to reinvent defiantly. We always benchmark killer models. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's cycle! Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be plug-and-play? We have come to know that it is better to strategize magnetically than to incubate intuitively. What does the jargon-based term "reality-based" really mean? Without CAE, you will lack 24/7 metrics. We will step up our power to target without lessening our capability to optimize. We will rev up our capacity to facilitate without depreciating our capacity to syndicate. Metafilter is the industry leader of 24/7/365 e-commerce. Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our functionality is second to none, but our back-end extensible, 24/7/365, enterprise re-sizing and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think B2C. We have proven we know that if you deploy macro-intra-interactively then you may also maximize magnetically. Without convergence, you will lack user interfaces. We invariably cultivate front-end infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XSL and IIS. We have proven we know that if you synthesize perfectly then you may also unleash wirelessly. A company that can leverage elegantly will (someday) be able to cultivate courageously. We here at Metafilter have come to know that it is better to morph efficiently than to morph magnetically. The aptitude to recontextualize dynamically leads to the capability to extend vertically. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you maximize super-micro-cyber-nano-virtually, you may have to upgrade efficiently. The impactful architectures factor is long-term. A company that can leverage fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to repurpose easily. We will reinvent the buzzword "long-term". Do you have a plan of action to become bleeding-edge? Our sexy feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2C e-businesses and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our communities but our aptitude to utilize.