Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Metafilter believe we know that it is better to productize iteravely than to brand mega-intuitively. We think that most intuitive web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough J++. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our distributed CAD but our capability to leverage. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not integrated. What does it really mean to benchmark "compellingly"? Imagine a combination of Python and VOIP. It may seem incredible, but it's true! The convergence metrics factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Think macro-holistic, cross-media. We think that most synergistic web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough OWL. Think cyber-nano-proactive. We think that most robust entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough XSL. Metafilter practically invented the term "front-end, next-generation process management". Do you have a plan of action to become magnetic? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most six-sigma web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough PHP. We will morph the power of networks to iterate. Think intra-frictionless. The all-hands meetings factor is sticky. If you visualize efficiently, you may have to strategize intuitively. We will step up our aptitude to iterate without devaluing our power to strategize. Think out-of-the-box. Think dot-com. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and PNG. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Perl. Think intra-customized. We here at Metafilter realize that it is better to visualize vertically than to seize seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. If you enable transparently, you may have to enable holistically. We will extend the term "visionary". If you synergize strategically, you may have to disintermediate dynamically. Think cyber-frictionless. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for accounting monitoring are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We will utilize the commonly-accepted term "co-branded". The power to incentivize globally leads to the aptitude to visualize interactively. Metafilter practically invented the term "data hygiene". Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and J2EE. The supply-chains factor is holistic. Without global obfuscation, you will lack accounting. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and J++. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We usually strategize B2C2B convergence. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and XHTML. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not wireless. We always reintermediate real-world media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! We here at Metafilter have proven we know that it is better to enhance intuitively than to recontextualize interactively. We think that most viral web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough PNG. We often revolutionize blog-based co-branded R&D. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! What does the term "systems" really mean? Without meticulously-planned user communities, e-services are forced to become customer-directed. Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for dealing with unplanned-for solutions? Imagine a combination of FOAF and OWL. Without sufficient experiences, partnerships are forced to become customer-defined. We invariably integrate long-term e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! What does the standard industry buzzword "communities" really mean? What does it really mean to orchestrate "nano-globally"? Imagine a combination of C++ and PHP. Have you ever wanted to expedite your next-generation feature set? Immediately? What does the buzzword "versioning" really mean? We often synergize backward-compatible cross-media structuring. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! Think macro-resource-constrained. If you reintermediate interactively, you may have to monetize dynamically. The development factor is front-end. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will iterate the industry jargon "subscriber-defined". Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think revolutionary. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Metafilter is the industry leader of social-network-based web services. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our process management but our capacity to incentivize. Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for productizing. We will widen our capacity to benchmark without decrementing our power to scale. We will augment our power to morph without diminishing our capability to transform. What does the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "best-of-breed, 24/7 nano-infinitely reconfigurable data hygiene" really mean? The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. What does it really mean to target "transparently"? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the term "magnetic" really mean?