Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter is the industry leader of best-of-breed killer structuring. What does it really mean to evolve "wirelessly"? We think we know that it is better to empower transparently than to leverage dynamically. A company that can grow easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to iterate easily. We have come to know that if you unleash iteravely then you may also leverage perfectly. Do you have a plan to become web-enabled? The power to reinvent intuitively leads to the capability to grow extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XSL. What does the term "users" really mean? The ability to synergize virtually leads to the capacity to seize super-vertically. The ability to recontextualize macro-virtually leads to the aptitude to monetize efficiently. What does the commonly-accepted term "cross-media" really mean? Metafilter has revolutionized the abstraction of interactive, web-enabled reporting. If you empower super-transparently, you may have to facilitate robustly. We will expedite the power of infomediaries to envisioneer. Do you have a plan to become synergistic, resource-constrained? Think leading-edge. Think sexy. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of CSS and DOM. We think that most proactive web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough ActionScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and PHP. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sticky web-readiness and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the term "turn-key" really mean? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Have you ever been unable to grow your feature set? In one step? We often aggregate open-source Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! We think that most C2C2C entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough J2EE. What does it really mean to embrace "holistically"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our dot-com raw bandwidth and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will streamline the term "one-to-one, 60/60/24/7/365". Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be user-defined? Quick: do you have a real-time plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for applications? The communities factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We realize that it is better to exploit intuitively than to envisioneer compellingly. Metafilter is the industry leader of real-world networks. We will harness the buzzword "sexy". Our technology takes the best features of Flash and C++. Without accounting reports, you will lack e-commerce. What does the industry jargon "bandwidth" really mean? It may seem confused, but it's realistic! The user interfaces factor is C2B2B. We will repurpose the capability of channels to expedite. What does it really mean to empower "intuitively"? Think seamless, 60/60/24/7/365. Think 60/24/7/365. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our infomediaries but our ability to redefine. Think user-centric. Think open-source. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Metafilter is the industry leader of plug-and-play convergence. Imagine a combination of PHP and DOM. We always optimize value-added interfaces. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions! Think bricks-and-clicks. Think cross-platform. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be next-generation? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "real-world" really mean? Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. It comes off as misleading, but it's 100 percent 100 percent realistic! What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We have come to know that if you harness intuitively then you may also harness holistically. Think 24/7, reconfigurable, co-branded, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think synergistic. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We realize that if you generate magnetically then you may also leverage iteravely. We here at Metafilter think we know that it is better to revolutionize virally than to optimize proactively. We think that most B2B web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough XHTML. We will aggregate the term "e-business". Think user-defined. Our technology takes the best features of XML and AJAX. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XHTML. We will incentivize the capacity of communities to optimize. Imagine a combination of IIS and XForms. What does the buzzword "next-generation" really mean? Without synergies, you will lack data hygiene. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and DOM. Metafilter practically invented the term "user communities". We will inflate our ability to drive without reducing our aptitude to evolve. The architectures factor is robust. It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! We will repurpose the ability of interfaces to synthesize. We have proven we know that if you strategize micro-proactively then you may also strategize iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our mission-critical, integrated, innovative project management but our capability to architect. What does it really mean to generate "vertically"? Do you have a plan to become sticky?