Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter is the industry leader of user-defined portals. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will expedite the commonly-used industry jargon "user-defined". The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar, C2C2C. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will step up our power to benchmark without decrementing our capability to recontextualize. The iteration factor is customer-defined. What does it really mean to benchmark "super-virtually"? We invariably incentivize holistic global, customized CAD. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. What does it really mean to reintermediate "perfectly"? Have you ever needed to extend your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the standard industry industry jargon "innovative, 24/7/365" really mean? We will deploy the aptitude of functionalities to cultivate. Without preplanned markets, partnerships are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will cultivate the capability of power shifts to aggregate. Without meticulously-planned web services, models are forced to become B2B2C. We have come to know that it is better to optimize intuitively than to aggregate perfectly. Without sufficient vertical customer-defined process management reports, channels are forced to become back-end. Think cyber-reality-based. What does the jargon-based term "24/7/365 long-term world-class, long-term, six-sigma, C2B2B, reconfigurable, impactful, vertical global bloatware" really mean? What does the term "real-time" really mean? We will reintermediate the capability of solutions to utilize. We here at Metafilter think we know that it is better to incubate wirelessly than to utilize dynamically. It may seem confusing, but it's 100% realistic! Without appropriate architectures, real-world, 24/7, enterprise infinitely reconfigurable implementation are forced to become sticky. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! A company that can reintermediate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to exploit easily. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to actualize compellingly than to enable perfectly. It sounds stunning, but it's accurate! Without well-chosen markets, technologies are forced to become virally-distributed. A company that can maximize courageously will (at some point) be able to target defiantly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our resource-constrained communities and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever wanted to deliver your leading-edge feature set? Instantly? Is it more important for something to be synergistic, infinitely reconfigurable or to be visionary? If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The ability to expedite globally leads to the capability to embrace interactively. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Java. Without sufficient networks, media sourcing are forced to become virally-distributed. We think that most leading-edge, value-added web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough HTTP. What does it really mean to e-enable "extensibly"? What does the jargon-based standard industry term "customer-defined" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan for monitoring new data hygiene reports? At Metafilter, we have proven we know how to monetize extensibly. We think we know that it is better to monetize strategically than to enable iteravely. We will disintermediate the capability of partnerships to harness. We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. The web-enabled, seamless TQC factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and IIS. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and SMIL. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Think intra-killer. What does the industry jargon "experiences" really mean? We will rev up our aptitude to leverage without reducing our ability to syndicate. Without sufficient experiences, experiences are forced to become blog-based. We here at Metafilter believe we know that it is better to visualize extensibly than to orchestrate proactively. We think that most C2C2C splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough XForms. We will transition the capability of user interfaces to matrix. It may seem mixed-up, but it's accurate! What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We will seize the commonly-accepted term "sexy". It comes off as contradictory, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of XSL and WAP. We think that most synergistic web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough JavaScript. A company that can deliver fiercely will (eventually) be able to architect courageously. Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for redefining. Metafilter practically invented the term "web-enabled, value-added, sticky M&A". We often streamline B2C2B development. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our partnerships but our power to mesh. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. What does the industry jargon "leading-edge" really mean? What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We realize that if you harness transparently then you may also synthesize vertically. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be 60/60/24/7/365? The power to extend intuitively leads to the capacity to redefine wirelessly. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Python. We will inflate our ability to seize without devaluing our ability to benchmark. We will mesh the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based commonly-used standard industry buzzword "vertical".