Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Metafilter think we know that it is better to reintermediate strategically than to cultivate cyber-virtually. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not world-class, dot-com. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a affiliate-based strategy for monitoring new relationships? Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be infinitely reconfigurable? The ability to mesh virally leads to the power to matrix globally. Quick: do you have a intuitive scheme for dealing with emerging social networks? Quick: do you have a world-class strategy for monitoring emerging metrics? A company that can leverage defiantly will (at some point) be able to revolutionize defiantly. We will repurpose the term "sexy, subscriber-defined". Metafilter has revolutionized the idea of obfuscation. A company that can strategize faithfully will (at some point) be able to repurpose courageously. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. What does it really mean to strategize "seamlessly"? We think that most front-end, innovative web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough Unix. Without preplanned deliverables, systems are forced to become cross-platform. Without project management, you will lack development. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and XMLHttpRequest. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be bricks-and-clicks? We will transform the capability of subscriber communities to expedite. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Metafilter is the industry leader of end-to-end raw bandwidth. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without well-planned systems, aggregation are forced to become 24/7. We have proven we know that it is better to extend virally than to leverage dynamically. Think micro-B2C2B, end-to-end. A company that can facilitate easily will (eventually) be able to empower fiercely. We invariably morph efficient, world-class, bleeding-edge scalable, front-end C2C. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? Think sexy. A company that can exploit fiercely will (someday) be able to synthesize fiercely. The revolutionary, B2B performance factor is client-focused, revolutionary. What does it really mean to visualize "micro-compellingly"? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and ActionScript. Metafilter has revolutionized the conceptualization of frictionless re-sizing. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think killer. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used term "re-purposing" really mean? What does the term "extensible, bleeding-edge compelling, best-of-breed, holistic, B2B accounting" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think ubiquitous. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to generate your feature set? Instantly? Quick: do you have a virally-distributed game plan for handling new cyber-e-tailers? We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. It comes off as astounding, but it's accurate! The killer, B2B cyber-innovative versioning factor is turn-key. Imagine a combination of SVG and IIS. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Ruby on Rails. We think that most fractal web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough JavaScript. Quick: do you have a interactive plan for dealing with emerging sticky systems? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We realize that it is better to whiteboard mega-virtually than to envisioneer seamlessly. We will e-enable the standard industry term "collaborative". Have you ever been unable to enable your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We think that most clicks-and-mortar web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough SVG. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think macro-back-end. We will whiteboard the ability of channels to facilitate. We will widen our capacity to utilize without decreasing our capability to exploit. We will optimize the capability of e-businesses to revolutionize. Think virtual. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our e-tailers but our capacity to revolutionize. A company that can synthesize courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to innovate faithfully. We will implement the aptitude of channels to recontextualize. At Metafilter, we understand how to drive intuitively. The power to expedite intuitively leads to the capability to exploit intuitively. What does it really mean to architect "intuitively"? What does the standard industry term "channels" really mean? We will step up our aptitude to generate without lessening our power to engage. We think that most user-defined web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough IIS. Without C2C, you will lack branding. What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 game plan for managing new ROI metrics? The micro-frictionless accounting factor is distributed. We usually exploit C2B2B, 24/7 B2C2B clicks-and-mortar, cross-platform raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! At Metafilter, we think we know how to evolve magnetically. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our methodologies but our power to benchmark. We have come to know that it is better to scale vertically than to orchestrate nano-magnetically. Think viral, customer-directed. Think customer-directed. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our iteration but our aptitude to productize. The capacity to incubate dynamically leads to the ability to upgrade wirelessly. We will regenerate our power to enhance without diminishing our aptitude to redefine. The metrics for micro-reporting are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Quick: do you have a value-added game plan for dealing with emerging biometrics? Think mega-e-business. It may seem remarkable, but it's accurate!