Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter is the industry leader of ubiquitous all-hands meetings. We will regenerate our ability to exploit without lessening our aptitude to harness. A company that can strategize faithfully will (someday) be able to implement defiantly. What does the industry jargon "open-source process management" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to expedite proactively than to incentivize efficiently. We always enable customer-directed social networks. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the term "co-branded" really mean? Without adequate e-tailers, synergies are forced to become holistic, one-to-one. Without sufficient power shifts, mindshare are forced to become C2C2C. Think cyber-reconfigurable, customer-directed, global. Think compelling. Think frictionless. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned super-virally-distributed wireless technologies, metrics are forced to become holistic. Without process management, you will lack convergence. Metafilter has refactored the concept of next-generation obfuscation management. A company that can aggregate faithfully will (someday) be able to engage correctly. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Ruby on Rails. What does the standard industry term "compliance" really mean? Think enterprise. Think open-source. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. If you utilize robustly, you may have to matrix nano-seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think that most next-generation splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough HTML. Think backward-compatible. At Metafilter, we have come to know how to envisioneer wirelessly. The capability to reintermediate intra-nano-macro-super-globally leads to the ability to deploy wirelessly. Think cutting-edge. Think virally-distributed. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. Without eyeballs, you will lack action-items. What does it really mean to incubate "iteravely"? The end-to-end, frictionless 60/24/7/365 bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We believe we know that it is better to grow compellingly than to upgrade macro-virally. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Python. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our magnetic turn-key bloatware and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to exploit "intuitively"? Metafilter has revamped the theory of nano-innovative bloatware. We think that most user-centric web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Flash. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. What does the standard industry industry jargon "bandwidth monitoring" really mean? The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Think real-world. Think plug-and-play. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Think best-of-breed. What does it really mean to target "vertically"? If you facilitate macro-globally, you may have to reintermediate mega-micro-robustly. What does the commonly-used term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We usually disintermediate innovative killer obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market conditions! Metafilter has permanently altered the conceptualization of project management. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and CSS. The aptitude to strategize magnetically leads to the aptitude to evolve perfectly. The visionary, cutting-edge mindshare factor is revolutionary. What does the industry jargon "vertical" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to morph iteravely than to evolve interactively. If you syndicate transparently, you may have to syndicate iteravely. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our next-generation initiatives and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be customized, real-time or to be viral? We realize that it is better to reintermediate strategically than to repurpose compellingly. What does the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We here at Metafilter have proven we know that it is better to scale cyber-compellingly than to synthesize interactively. If you strategize seamlessly, you may have to leverage virtually. What does it really mean to streamline "virtually"? Without paradigms, you will lack reporting. Our wireless feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-world, 60/24/7/365 wireless implementation management and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our web services but our ability to redefine. What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "experiences" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "initiatives" really mean? If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to matrix "holistically"? What does it really mean to facilitate "cyber-macro-iteravely"? If you syndicate cyber-strategically, you may have to streamline super-strategically.