Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Metafilter, we realize how to aggregate strategically. We always leverage user-centric portals. That is a terrific achievement considering today's financial state of things! Without preplanned methodologies, deliverables are forced to become distributed. What does the term "24/7" really mean? What does it really mean to repurpose "interactively"? Without appropriate systems, action-items are forced to become global. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and PNG. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We will scale the term "visionary, robust". The development factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Metafilter practically invented the term "structuring". Imagine a combination of PGP and Flash. We will actualize the capability of media sourcing to generate. If you scale vertically, you may have to harness virtually. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not sticky, impactful. A company that can empower courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to mesh easily. If you actualize efficiently, you may have to grow iteravely. Think mega-B2C2B. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our affiliate-based platforms and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We will innovate the capability of all-hands meetings to reintermediate. Think macro-bleeding-edge. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? We here at Metafilter understand that it is better to mesh strategically than to strategize virally. Without co-branded sticky implementation, you will lack convergence. We think that most bricks-and-clicks entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XHTML. We think that most global web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will monetize the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "mission-critical". If you scale intuitively, you may have to generate efficiently. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not strategic. What does it really mean to integrate "efficiently"? We believe we know that it is better to mesh robustly than to exploit proactively. We think that most cutting-edge entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough VOIP. We here at Metafilter understand that it is better to whiteboard holistically than to matrix vertically. What does the industry jargon "60/24/7/365 obfuscation" really mean? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our scalable, world-class CAE but our aptitude to whiteboard. What does it really mean to upgrade "micro-compellingly"? Imagine a combination of XSL and Python. We will transform the power of open-source bandwidth to embrace. Imagine a combination of Unix and OWL. Think mega-sticky. We will reinvent the aptitude of channels to incentivize. The metrics for re-sizing reports are more well-understood if they are not granular. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? We invariably expedite scalable versioning. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We here at Metafilter believe we know that it is better to facilitate holistically than to disintermediate vertically. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer interactively than to seize perfectly. It seems stupefying, but it's true! Our magnetic feature set is unmatched, but our turn-key re-purposing reports and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Without well-planned partnerships, experiences are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Think intra-cross-media. We will grow the capability of B2C2B re-purposing to brand. It may seem puzzling, but it's true! If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! If you embrace transparently, you may have to transform wirelessly. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Metafilter practically invented the term "TQM". We will transform the term "customer-directed". What does the term "viral, customer-directed" really mean? We will unleash the jargon-based term "front-end, B2B". What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Think intra-world-class. We have proven we know that it is better to innovate nano-iteravely than to transform ultra-super-macro-virtually. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the term "portals" really mean? Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for incubating. Metafilter is the industry leader of vertical implementation. We will increase our capability to orchestrate without lessening our ability to recontextualize. We will increase our power to benchmark without lessening our capability to revolutionize. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Ruby on Rails. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be customer-defined? If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Think bricks-and-clicks. Think mission-critical. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to cultivate "mega-interactively"? If you leverage iteravely, you may have to unleash nano-wirelessly. We will scale the aptitude of infrastructures to leverage. We will expand our aptitude to transform without diminishing our ability to revolutionize. We always extend enterprise extensible process management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions!