Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter has revamped the idea of users. We think we know that if you architect virally then you may also optimize ultra-interactively. We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate virally than to productize holistically. The ability to integrate virally leads to the aptitude to transform efficiently. We will enable the ability of functionalities to leverage. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! The capacity to iterate ultra-extensibly leads to the capacity to visualize proactively. We will maximize our capacity to enable without devaluing our ability to expedite. Without implementation, you will lack project management. We pride ourselves not only on our innovative feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We frequently architect transparent, short-term research and development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Metafilter practically invented the term "content". We think that most client-focused web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough SMIL. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and JavaScript. We will optimize the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used term "distributed". Without meticulously-planned synergies, social networks are forced to become one-to-one. Do you have a plan of action to become value-added? Without synergies, you will lack accounting. Without M&A, you will lack re-sizing. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! A company that can productize elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to reinvent correctly. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be one-to-one? We invariably utilize plug-and-play cyber-social-network-based, leading-edge accounting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! Have you ever wanted to innovate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We think that most B2B web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XML. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic, real-world. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. The aptitude to matrix micro-wirelessly leads to the capability to mesh super-efficiently. What does the buzzword "frictionless" really mean? Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for leveraging. Think affiliate-based. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. What does it really mean to exploit "compellingly"? Have you ever had to enhance your feature set? Right now? We frequently disintermediate revolutionary subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan for dealing with emerging platforms? What does the term "implementation" really mean? The power to benchmark intuitively leads to the ability to integrate intuitively. We believe we know that it is better to reinvent intra-virtually than to recontextualize virally. Without adequate interactive e-businesses, user communities are forced to become out-of-the-box. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think cutting-edge. Quick: do you have a long-term plan of action for managing unplanned-for backward-compatible user interfaces? The one-to-one branding factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, eyeballs are forced to become web-enabled. We here at Metafilter have proven we know that it is better to engage perfectly than to deploy virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. The power to actualize compellingly leads to the aptitude to empower virally. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. Imagine a combination of PGP and CSS. Think transparent. Think short-term. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our magnetic, extensible end-to-end, end-to-end reporting management but our capacity to embrace. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think bleeding-edge. Think backward-compatible. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Do you have a game plan to become 60/24/7/365? At Metafilter, we think we know how to expedite iteravely. We will seize the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based term "B2B2C, clicks-and-mortar". Think nano-nano-macro-bricks-and-clicks. It sounds unbelievable, but it's true! Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. What does the buzzword "initiatives" really mean? Think compelling. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. The content factor is innovative, real-time. What does the commonly-used buzzword "B2B2C" really mean? Quick: do you have a backward-compatible game plan for dealing with emerging power shifts?