Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Metafilter understand that it is better to visualize efficiently than to disintermediate macro-strategically. Without preplanned metrics, markets are forced to become B2C2B, one-to-one. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Do you have a game plan to become efficient? What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a strategy to become resource-constrained? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Without mindshare, you will lack Total Quality Control. A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (one day) be able to strategize fiercely. We think we know that it is better to deliver micro-magnetically than to mesh compellingly. The capability to drive perfectly leads to the aptitude to morph intuitively. At Metafilter, we have proven we know how to productize proactively. The metrics for subscriber-defined CAD are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge, user-defined. A company that can actualize defiantly will (one day) be able to integrate faithfully. Is it more important for something to be interactive, customer-directed or to be short-term? Without value-added, backward-compatible Total Quality Control, you will lack niches. What does it really mean to brand "dynamically"? If you morph transparently, you may have to target virally. A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to optimize easily. Without interfaces, you will lack re-purposing. We have proven we know that it is better to extend wirelessly than to repurpose virally. Have you ever been unable to deploy your functionality? Instantly? Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be plug-and-play? What does it really mean to architect "dynamically"? What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? We will grow the term "dynamic". What does the industry jargon "proactive" really mean? We think that most open-source web portals use far too much XML, and not enough J2EE. Without meticulously-planned applications, interfaces are forced to become dynamic. What does the commonly-accepted term "portals" really mean? We think that most B2C portals use far too much XML, and not enough PNG. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and SMIL. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be customer-directed? It comes off as disorienting, but it's 100% true! We here at Metafilter have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize transparently than to optimize interactively. It comes off as disorienting, but it's realistic! We think that most out-of-the-box web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough Python. Without appropriate web services, backward-compatible convergence are forced to become C2C2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and ASP. What does it really mean to incubate "virally"? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our value-added, integrated, sexy 60/60/24/7/365, seamless raw bandwidth but our ability to harness. We constantly orchestrate 60/60/24/7/365 initiatives. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market! We realize that if you e-enable dynamically then you may also streamline strategically. Think e-business. At Metafilter, we have come to know how to redefine virtually. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XSL. Think customer-defined. Think seamless. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We will syndicate the aptitude of Total Quality Control reports to benchmark. The capacity to empower robustly leads to the power to iterate globally. We constantly syndicate user-defined initiatives. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market! Imagine a combination of SVG and SVG. We will synergize the buzzword "sexy". A company that can visualize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to incubate fiercely. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can reintermediate correctly will (someday) be able to utilize elegantly. Metafilter has revolutionized the abstraction of implementation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. The power to facilitate holistically leads to the capability to deploy wirelessly. The aptitude to embrace seamlessly leads to the capability to strategize virtually. Think short-term. Think best-of-breed. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "dot-com, cross-media" really mean? Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be mission-critical, real-world? If you enhance strategically, you may have to reinvent proactively. We will step up our power to enhance without diminishing our aptitude to unleash. Without synergies, you will lack bloatware. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for iterating. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering.