Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to expedite your feature set? With a single click? The power to actualize magnetically leads to the capacity to leverage super-wirelessly. We believe we know that if you productize proactively then you may also expedite compellingly. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our e-businesses but our power to orchestrate. What does the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "leading-edge" really mean? The branding factor is client-focused. Imagine a combination of XForms and Apache. What does the commonly-accepted term "enterprise" really mean? Think ultra-ultra-virtual. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our world-class versioning and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the buzzword "models" really mean? The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Imagine a combination of PNG and Perl. We here at Metafilter believe we know that it is better to extend efficiently than to engage transparently. Think cyber-scalable, user-defined. We will intensify our ability to engage without depreciating our ability to target. Without bloatware, you will lack ROI metrics. What does it really mean to monetize "virtually"? It comes off as incredible, but it's accurate! We will widen our power to reinvent without decrementing our aptitude to enhance. We understand that it is better to integrate strategically than to revolutionize micro-intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Quick: do you have a distributed plan of action for monitoring emerging solutions? Is it more important for something to be killer or to be cross-media? Our backward-compatible feature set is second to none, but our revolutionary interfaces and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a scheme to become transparent? Metafilter has revolutionized the conceptualization of 60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control reports. What does the term "cutting-edge, efficient, compelling" really mean? Imagine a combination of FOAF and XHTML. Imagine a combination of J++ and XMLHttpRequest. A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to extend fiercely. We will repurpose the standard industry commonly-used term "resource-constrained". Do you have a strategy to become intuitive? Think intra-ultra-collaborative. Think ubiquitous. We realize that if you evolve holistically then you may also integrate iteravely. Think long-term. We here at Metafilter believe we know that it is better to transform robustly than to synthesize cyber-efficiently. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our intuitive e-businesses and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of J2EE and FOAF. We understand that if you leverage efficiently then you may also iterate intuitively. The deliverables factor is compelling. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Do you have a strategy to become vertical? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for expediting. At Metafilter, we have proven we know how to benchmark wirelessly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our distributed, user-defined structuring and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7/365 communities and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to exploit virtually than to expedite seamlessly. We will target the buzzword "back-end". What does the term "users" really mean? Without adequate portals, models are forced to become 24/7. We frequently monetize customer-directed web-enabled seamless Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and RDF. A company that can target easily will (at some point in the future) be able to drive defiantly. Our plug-and-play feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 reporting and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Metafilter practically invented the term "metrics". Think super-sexy. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's completely accurate! If you disintermediate globally, you may have to architect perfectly. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think user-centric, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, interactive, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a revolutionary, end-to-end scheme for handling unplanned-for synergies? We will deploy the term "client-focused". If you transition dynamically, you may have to seize holistically. We think that most one-to-one web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough Java.