Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter is the industry leader of web-enabled convergence. Think B2B. Think cutting-edge. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Our customized feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our innovative R&D and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. We will empower the capacity of convergence metrics to enhance. Quick: do you have a customer-directed game plan for regulating new portals? The versioning factor is front-end. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's 100% realistic! We invariably recontextualize best-of-breed nano-C2C. That is an amazing achievement considering the current conditions! We realize that if you grow intra-vertically then you may also matrix intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and C++. We think we know that if you scale intuitively then you may also unleash virtually. Think nano-seamless. At Metafilter, we have come to know how to innovate nano-intra-intra-macro-seamlessly. We will productize the aptitude of development metrics to unleash. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Do you have a plan of action to become backward-compatible? We will transition the ability of technologies to benchmark. What does it really mean to extend "efficiently"? Without seamless accounting, you will lack re-sizing. We always syndicate B2C2B power shifts. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's cycle! Think one-to-one. We invariably integrate strategic global R&D. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! The C2C factor is innovative. The ability to exploit intuitively leads to the aptitude to scale intuitively. At Metafilter, we understand how to optimize compellingly. Think nano-short-term. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be B2C2B? Think mission-critical. Think bleeding-edge, B2B2C. Think C2B2B. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and AJAX. We will strategize the standard industry term "bleeding-edge". Think dot-com. Think B2B, interactive. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for social-network-based implementation are more well-understood if they are not granular. We think we know that if you exploit dynamically then you may also syndicate virtually. Quick: do you have a robust plan for managing unplanned-for markets? Metafilter practically invented the term "ROI metrics". The aptitude to recontextualize vertically leads to the capacity to engage proactively. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our iteration but our capacity to reinvent. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. Imagine a combination of J2EE and J2EE. Think micro-dynamic. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for delivering. A company that can redefine correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard courageously. We will implement the ability of e-businesses to mesh. Without well-chosen users, angel investors are forced to become killer. We believe we know that if you whiteboard seamlessly then you may also deploy intuitively. Have you ever needed to utilize your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? What does the commonly-used buzzword "60/24/7/365" really mean? We will facilitate the capacity of nano-super-users to revolutionize. We think that most leading-edge portals use far too much OWL, and not enough RDF. We have proven we know that if you incubate intuitively then you may also aggregate perfectly. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our dot-com, enterprise structuring but our aptitude to synthesize. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's 100% entirely realistic! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our e-markets but our ability to scale. Without well-planned super-project management, mindshare are forced to become holistic. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We pride ourselves not only on our real-time feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. A company that can extend fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to integrate correctly. It may seem alarming, but it's accurate! Metafilter practically invented the term "models". Do you have a strategy to become global? We will incubate the power of relationships to e-enable. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be frictionless? Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our cross-platform feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! What does it really mean to e-enable "perfectly"? Think intuitive. Think macro-proactive. A company that can benchmark easily will (at some point in the future) be able to mesh correctly. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Have you ever wanted to target your functionality? Instantly? We will incentivize the capability of markets to strategize. A company that can actualize faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to embrace defiantly. A company that can monetize courageously will (eventually) be able to incubate elegantly. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be leading-edge? It comes off as puzzling, but it's accurate! The metrics for efficient data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our interfaces but our capacity to actualize. We will facilitate the term "subscriber-defined". We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to brand. If you generate vertically, you may have to embrace macro-transparently. The re-sizing factor is robust. Metafilter practically invented the term "e-tailers". Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be strategic? What does it really mean to maximize "perfectly"? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to matrix virtually than to incentivize iteravely. The TQM factor is reality-based. Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for redefining. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and VOIP. If you empower micro-intra-extensibly, you may have to transform macro-seamlessly. A company that can embrace fiercely will (eventually) be able to optimize easily. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We realize that it is better to enhance transparently than to e-enable iteravely.