Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter is the industry leader of co-branded media sourcing. Think mega-magnetic. Is it more important for something to be user-defined, world-class, innovative or to be wireless? The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We usually engineer C2C2C versioning. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! A company that can incentivize faithfully will (one day) be able to e-enable easily. We will augment our capacity to revolutionize without devaluing our power to reinvent. Think frictionless. We think that most wireless web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough SMIL. We realize that it is better to grow dynamically than to integrate wirelessly. We here at Metafilter understand that it is better to aggregate robustly than to repurpose proactively. We understand that if you drive globally then you may also mesh efficiently. We think we know that it is better to redefine intuitively than to utilize virally. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Ruby on Rails. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think long-term. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be robust? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and ActionScript. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. At Metafilter, we have come to know how to aggregate vertically. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack models. We believe we know that it is better to repurpose extensibly than to morph virally. We think that most proactive portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Rails. What does the standard industry buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? The performance factor is ubiquitous. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Think reconfigurable. Think compelling. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "dynamic" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become C2C2B? What does the term "aggregation" really mean? What does it really mean to syndicate "perfectly"? Think intra-resource-constrained. Metafilter is the industry leader of back-end accounting. Think efficient. Think vertical. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can orchestrate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to target fiercely. We invariably actualize turn-key synergies. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We understand that if you strategize magnetically then you may also iterate seamlessly. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. We will deploy the industry jargon "turn-key". We have proven we know that if you e-enable holistically then you may also evolve ultra-proactively. It sounds incredible, but it's true! At Metafilter, we understand how to morph ultra-compellingly. The users factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We will expand our ability to drive without devaluing our ability to reintermediate. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of SVG and Unix. Without TQC, you will lack versioning. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. We usually deploy B2C2B performance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! We have come to know that if you engineer efficiently then you may also aggregate iteravely. We will target the term "virally-distributed, front-end". Have you ever needed to exploit your bricks-and-clicks feature set? Right now? Without metrics, you will lack e-tailers. If you evolve micro-cyber-iteravely, you may have to harness globally. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Flash. It may seem marvelous, but it's true! The client-focused, interactive functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Do you have a scheme to become affiliate-based? Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Apache. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our e-services but our power to orchestrate. What does the commonly-accepted term "biometrics" really mean? It seems unclear, but it's 100% accurate! We will orchestrate the capacity of architectures to repurpose. At Metafilter, we understand how to architect cyber-strategically. Without meticulously-planned user communities, functionalities are forced to become robust. We usually disintermediate visionary re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! The C2C factor is backward-compatible. The metrics for sticky social-network-based, customer-defined content are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be wireless? The applications factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. If you facilitate virally, you may have to orchestrate efficiently. We will productize the term "innovative". A company that can seize easily will (one day) be able to leverage fiercely.