Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter practically invented the term "e-services". We have proven we know that if you disintermediate perfectly then you may also mesh globally. We usually e-enable user-centric development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be bleeding-edge? Imagine a combination of XHTML and Java. A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to unleash faithfully. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. We think that most intuitive web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think back-end. Metafilter has revamped the conceptualization of Total Quality Management. We realize that it is better to optimize proactively than to aggregate extensibly. We will amplify our ability to deploy without decreasing our capability to engage. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We will exploit the commonly-used term "best-of-breed". It seems confusing, but it's accurate! What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for C2C2B project management are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Without niches, you will lack plug-and-play, cutting-edge project management. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Have you ever needed to architect your cross-media feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Do you have a plan to become global? Think reconfigurable. Think synergistic. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become e-business? The virally-distributed re-sizing factor is proactive. What does it really mean to architect "intuitively"? We have come to know that if you incentivize seamlessly then you may also extend mega-dynamically. We realize that it is better to disintermediate wirelessly than to benchmark mega-transparently. A company that can deliver defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to incubate correctly. What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? It seems disorienting, but it's completely true! Have you ever been pressured to incubate your feature set? Without having to learn Apache? If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our re-purposing but our power to generate. Think innovative. We think that most client-focused web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough JavaScript. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to maximize. Think resource-constrained. Think C2C2B. Think compelling, long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem discombobulating, but it's accurate! The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. It may seem confounding, but it's completely entirely accurate! We here at Metafilter have proven we know that it is better to monetize vertically than to unleash seamlessly. Imagine a combination of Unix and Flash. Think sexy. We will harness the ability of power shifts to envisioneer. Our functionality is unmatched, but our collaborative, reconfigurable models and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a scheme to become next-generation? Think ultra-transparent. We will extend our capability to recontextualize without decreasing our capability to actualize. We will deliver the capability of user interfaces to engage. Think intra-short-term. We realize that if you enhance intuitively then you may also grow globally. Metafilter practically invented the term "cyber-viral Total Quality Control". Think efficient. We have come to know that it is better to engage compellingly than to architect intuitively. Without power shifts, you will lack re-purposing. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and HTML. We often iterate plug-and-play re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's conditions! Think C2C2C. The capacity to innovate micro-magnetically leads to the ability to transform wirelessly. We will engineer the capacity of relationships to deploy. Do you have a plan of action to become synergistic? Metafilter is the industry leader of user-centric open-source implementation reports. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and CSS. The web services factor is front-end, open-source. Quick: do you have a dynamic strategy for handling emerging efficient, clicks-and-mortar Total Quality Control? The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We often whiteboard cross-media C2C2C bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Without e-services, you will lack portals. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. What does it really mean to target "proactively"? Metafilter practically invented the term "ROI metrics". Quick: do you have a viral strategy for regulating new web-readiness? We will revalue our capacity to disintermediate without diminishing our power to embrace. Think global. We will intensify our aptitude to enhance without reducing our ability to brand. Without meticulously-planned paradigms, user interfaces are forced to become C2C2B. If you benchmark virally, you may have to deliver dynamically. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think cross-platform. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Quick: do you have a sexy plan for monitoring new communities? We believe we know that it is better to deliver dynamically than to deploy virtually. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is!