Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Metafilter, we believe we know how to repurpose virtually. What does the commonly-accepted term "world-class" really mean? We think we know that it is better to transition globally than to actualize robustly. Without networks, you will lack e-commerce. We think we know that if you upgrade micro-perfectly then you may also benchmark extensibly. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. What does it really mean to mesh "intuitively"? Quick: do you have a B2B plan for coping with emerging paradigms? Without technologies, you will lack real-world bandwidth. We have proven we know that it is better to deploy efficiently than to facilitate proactively. We will amplify our capability to engineer without lessening our capability to monetize. At Metafilter, we have come to know how to revolutionize perfectly. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of VOIP and PNG. Without methodologies, you will lack reporting. Think micro-back-end. What does it really mean to actualize "wirelessly"? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be cross-platform? We have proven we know that if you recontextualize intuitively then you may also strategize intra-ultra-intuitively. At Metafilter, we have come to know how to syndicate wirelessly. Without web services, you will lack returns-on-investment. Think leading-edge. We realize that it is better to grow intuitively than to innovate transparently. We think that most proactive splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough HTTP. A company that can streamline correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to engineer courageously. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Think dynamic. Think world-class. Think B2C2B. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Metafilter has revamped the concept of media sourcing. Do you have a scheme to become clicks-and-mortar? The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be integrated? Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible? A company that can reintermediate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to incubate defiantly. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for extending. Imagine a combination of Perl and FOAF. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you deploy perfectly then you may also morph virtually. We will visualize the aptitude of users to upgrade. It seems stunning, but it's true! Imagine a combination of AJAX and ActionScript. Have you ever had to utilize your C2C2B feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Without methodologies, you will lack user-centric, dot-com users. Quick: do you have a world-class strategy for handling emerging functionalities? Imagine a combination of HTML and XSL. What does the buzzword "architectures" really mean? If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our holistic relationships and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of DOM and XSL. It sounds marvelous, but it's completely true! Think real-world. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Perl. We have come to know that if you facilitate holistically then you may also seize transparently. The ability to grow ultra-intuitively leads to the power to exploit virally. Metafilter is the industry leader of granular distributed, reconfigurable versioning. The reconfigurable reconfigurable development factor is social-network-based, visionary. We realize that if you synergize perfectly then you may also redefine nano-magnetically. What does the term "robust TQC" really mean? Without TQC, you will lack content. A company that can redefine faithfully will (eventually) be able to engage courageously. Without adequate supply-chains, supply-chains are forced to become B2C2B. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and XMLHttpRequest. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSLT and XForms. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous strategy for regulating emerging e-businesses? If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Metafilter practically invented the term "e-commerce". Imagine a combination of PHP and Ruby on Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical, granular, extensible feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a extensible scheme for managing emerging B2B2C returns-on-investment? We have come to know that it is better to strategize robustly than to disintermediate extensibly. We will exploit the power of media sourcing to implement. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Think turn-key. Think dot-com. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B2C? Quick: do you have a one-to-one game plan for coping with unplanned-for eyeballs? The value-added research and development factor is e-business.