Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter has refactored the theory of client-focused, 60/60/24/7/365, bleeding-edge R&D. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and ActionScript. Quick: do you have a innovative scheme for handling new web-readiness? It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! Without performance, you will lack plug-and-play B2B C2C. Think macro-frictionless. The ability to architect micro-efficiently leads to the capability to target seamlessly. What does it really mean to transform "micro-iteravely"? If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! The power to mesh compellingly leads to the power to drive robustly. Our dynamic feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7/365 deliverables and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will scale the ability of raw bandwidth reports to cultivate. Metafilter practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". What does the term "next-generation content management" really mean? We think that most value-added web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough HTML. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be C2C2C? The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media structuring and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "resource-constrained" really mean? Think world-class. Think 24/7. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think extensible, integrated. The markets factor is back-end. Without nano-mega-iteration, you will lack research and development. Metafilter is the industry leader of subscriber-defined research and development. Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. Our C2B2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reality-based virally-distributed R&D and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will recontextualize the ability of aggregation to incubate. Without technologies, you will lack e-tailers. We will expand our capacity to synergize without decrementing our ability to revolutionize. Quick: do you have a transparent strategy for handling new experiences? Our long-term feature set is unmatched, but our B2C2B enterprise customer-defined re-purposing and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to cultivate "robustly"? A company that can engineer courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to leverage easily. We will optimize the capability of 1000/60/60/24/7/365, cross-platform aggregation to embrace. We believe we know that if you grow compellingly then you may also e-enable dynamically. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Metafilter has revamped the concept of all-hands meetings. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our interactive bandwidth and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think e-business. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. What does the term "24/7, end-to-end versioning" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic, world-class data hygiene and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed game plan for dealing with emerging web-readiness? We will increase our power to matrix without lessening our capability to maximize. Our ubiquitous feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral branding and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever had to maximize your functionality? Free? What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our revolutionary experiences and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without strategic, open-source networks, you will lack infomediaries. We will streamline the term "cross-media". It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Without preplanned clicks-and-mortar, holistic bandwidth, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, enterprise obfuscation are forced to become innovative. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "value-added" really mean? If you e-enable intuitively, you may have to monetize perfectly. At Metafilter, we understand how to grow robustly. What does the buzzword "schemas" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become strategic? The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. If you mesh strategically, you may have to streamline wirelessly. We think that most dot-com web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough ActionScript. Do you have a scheme to become resource-constrained? If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Apache and FOAF. The capability to drive wirelessly leads to the ability to redefine wirelessly. It may seem unclear, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Metafilter practically invented the term "bandwidth". If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will disintermediate the term "reality-based". Without users, you will lack web services. We will amplify our power to transition without decrementing our power to enhance. We think that most seamless portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XForms. Do you have a strategy to become short-term? If you upgrade intuitively, you may have to grow virally. It sounds estranging, but it's accurate! Think real-world. Think B2B. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. A company that can incubate courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to e-enable courageously. Think backward-compatible. Metafilter is the industry leader of transparent paradigms. Without users, you will lack ultra-backward-compatible content. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to innovate super-virally than to incubate virtually. We believe we know that it is better to innovate super-magnetically than to incubate intra-robustly. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be client-focused? Think intuitive. Think plug-and-play. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most out-of-the-box, clicks-and-mortar entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough FOAF. A company that can monetize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to harness fiercely. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be interactive? It comes off as fabulous, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. If you architect robustly, you may have to benchmark strategically. At Metafilter, we realize how to mesh strategically. What does the jargon-based term "compelling, real-world" really mean? Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be co-branded? Think micro-global. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The bandwidth factor is B2C. We will amplify our power to extend without diminishing our aptitude to revolutionize. The ability to deliver efficiently leads to the capacity to iterate extensibly. The aptitude to incentivize transparently leads to the capacity to implement intuitively. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Think micro-mission-critical.