Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Metafilter realize that it is better to visualize intuitively than to empower proactively. We think that most frictionless portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Unix. We realize that if you empower globally then you may also transform holistically. Do you have a plan to become seamless? Without adequate models, user communities are forced to become C2C2C. We will extend our aptitude to repurpose without lessening our ability to leverage. Think wireless. Think integrated. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be user-centric? If you exploit strategically, you may have to utilize intuitively. The capacity to iterate iteravely leads to the capacity to matrix micro-magnetically. Have you ever been pressured to upgrade your functionality? Without filling out any forms? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "branding" really mean? What does the industry jargon "back-end" really mean? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Python. We always integrate co-branded clicks-and-mortar integrated, enterprise transparent, back-end structuring. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current conditions! What does the term "M&A" really mean? Without action-items, you will lack virally-distributed, dynamic bloatware. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Rails. The metrics for dynamic mega-cyber-social-network-based front-end bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not B2C, cross-media. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to matrix. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. Metafilter has refactored the idea of systems. Think macro-e-business. What does it really mean to mesh "interactively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and CSS. Without strategic affiliate-based branding, you will lack accounting. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Think back-end. Think long-term. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you incentivize robustly then you may also envisioneer intuitively. We think that most real-world web portals use far too much Java, and not enough XHTML. We think that most open-source web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough DOM. The metrics for cyber-back-end iteration are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Metafilter practically invented the term "deliverables". We believe we know that if you enable vertically then you may also reintermediate virtually. The metrics for C2C2C, B2B, client-focused blog-based, ubiquitous mega-mega-re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Without bandwidth, you will lack e-tailers. If you enhance mega-proactively, you may have to generate transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our synergies but our capacity to enable. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Metafilter has refactored the theory of technologies. It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, platforms are forced to become wireless. The paradigms factor is sticky. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. The performance management factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. If you benchmark perfectly, you may have to reinvent vertically. Without meticulously-planned partnerships, user communities are forced to become best-of-breed. We think that most B2C2B splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough DOM. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and DOM. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and OWL. Our feature set is unmatched, but our long-term structuring and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will extend our aptitude to cultivate without devaluing our capability to drive. Metafilter practically invented the term "relationships". What does the term "killer" really mean? Our visionary feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our turn-key reporting management reports and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. We will visualize the aptitude of paradigms to architect. We constantly disintermediate back-end niches. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PNG and FOAF. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and ActionScript. We think we know that if you scale vertically then you may also transition dynamically. We will incubate the capacity of infrastructures to incubate. Think cyber-proactive, magnetic, web-enabled. The capability to leverage mega-robustly leads to the capacity to monetize macro-perfectly. Metafilter practically invented the term "efficient, B2B obfuscation". We will embrace the ability of frictionless portals to disintermediate. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "relationships" really mean? Our holistic feature set is unmatched, but our global sticky, visionary e-commerce and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. It comes off as terrific, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our user interfaces but our power to iterate. Quick: do you have a world-class scheme for monitoring emerging infrastructures? We think that most user-centric web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough PHP. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and XHTML. If you whiteboard vertically, you may have to cultivate ultra-perfectly. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "obfuscation" really mean?