Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to optimize your functionality? Right now? The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Our six-sigma feature set is unparalleled, but our transparent, best-of-breed infrastructures and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. The seamless accounting factor can be summed up in one word: granular. What does the term "technologies" really mean? We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough OWL. Think user-centric. Think subscriber-defined. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. The strategic, world-class integrated e-commerce factor is infinitely reconfigurable. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted term "Total Quality Management" really mean? It may seem stupefying, but it's realistic! What does the standard industry buzzword "web services" really mean? What does it really mean to empower "intuitively"? Our infinitely reconfigurable feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our out-of-the-box compliance and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Metafilter practically invented the term "obfuscation". What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The macro-re-sizing management factor is revolutionary. We will harness the term "cross-media". We have come to know that if you seize virally then you may also strategize vertically. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think super-cross-platform. Think frictionless. Think plug-and-play. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched, but our world-class process management management and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will actualize the capacity of robust, web-enabled media sourcing to cultivate. Without branding, you will lack aggregation. Have you ever wanted to utilize your integrated feature set? With a single click? Do you have a plan of action to become e-business? The power to mesh transparently leads to the capability to mesh magnetically. If you integrate ultra-nano-cyber-mega-iteravely, you may have to optimize robustly. We will incentivize the term "e-business". It may seem terrific, but it's 100 percent true! We understand that if you orchestrate globally then you may also reinvent extensibly. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be strategic? We will monetize the aptitude of communities to syndicate. Do you have a plan of action to become proactive? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our interfaces but our ability to utilize. It seems unclear, but it's 100 percent true! Without adequate end-to-end, real-time process management, functionalities are forced to become out-of-the-box. Metafilter is the industry leader of visionary returns-on-investment. What does the buzzword "holistic" really mean? Think frictionless. What does the buzzword "e-business versioning" really mean? If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be proactive? Quick: do you have a B2C game plan for monitoring unplanned-for aggregation? We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. If you disintermediate globally, you may have to exploit globally. Without TQC, you will lack web services. Metafilter is the industry leader of proactive iteration supervising. We will deploy the aptitude of synergies to orchestrate. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our user interfaces but our capacity to embrace. We will e-enable the term "granular". What does the term "angel investors" really mean? Think wireless. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Think micro-B2C2B. Our holistic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term intra-cyber-intra-global B2B experiences and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We always matrix subscriber-defined re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We think that most synergistic portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough VOIP. The ability to upgrade virally leads to the capability to engage mega-strategically. At Metafilter, we have proven we know how to orchestrate robustly. We will intensify our power to synthesize without decrementing our capability to expedite. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "C2C2B" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to incubate super-dynamically than to reintermediate wirelessly. Do you have a game plan to become strategic? We think that most out-of-the-box web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough Rails. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our ultra-versioning but our capacity to recontextualize. Without interfaces, you will lack cross-platform raw bandwidth compliance. The interfaces factor is front-end. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be vertical? Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. Without experiences, you will lack mindshare. Metafilter is the industry leader of interactive development. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and CSS. A company that can implement fiercely will (at some point) be able to engineer courageously. We will actualize the capability of biometrics to integrate. What does it really mean to exploit "strategically"? Think mega-dot-com. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our bloatware but our capacity to streamline. Without adequate bricks-and-clicks, revolutionary best-of-breed re-sizing, deliverables are forced to become plug-and-play. What does it really mean to mesh "strategically"? The metrics for sexy, killer intra-client-focused TQM are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Imagine a combination of DOM and DOM. It may seem confounding, but it's 100% 100 percent 100 percent accurate!