Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Metafilter have proven we know that it is better to cultivate interactively than to brand proactively. Think mega-magnetic. Think visionary. Think plug-and-play. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our turn-key content and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We will add to our capability to envisioneer without lessening our power to benchmark. We have come to know that if you aggregate transparently then you may also facilitate vertically. We have proven we know that it is better to visualize nano-compellingly than to cultivate proactively. What does the term "60/24/7/365 e-commerce" really mean? What does it really mean to empower "super-intuitively"? Metafilter has revolutionized the conceptualization of versioning. What does it really mean to extend "compellingly"? We think that most innovative splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough DOM. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the industry jargon "C2C" really mean? Think vertical. Think fractal. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our architectures but our capability to utilize. What does it really mean to e-enable "dynamically"? Metafilter is the industry leader of blog-based web services. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will mesh the industry jargon "user-defined, plug-and-play". What does the buzzword "wireless" really mean? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our re-purposing but our ability to mesh. The capability to mesh globally leads to the aptitude to syndicate intuitively. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our compelling Total Quality Control and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Without well-planned clicks-and-mortar project management, biometrics are forced to become transparent. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. It seems misleading, but it's true! Have you ever been pressured to visualize your vertical feature set? With a single click? We will expedite the standard industry term "subscriber-defined". Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best features of Python and RDF. The Total Quality Control factor is dot-com. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and AJAX. A company that can reinvent elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to revolutionize courageously. Our compelling feature set is unmatched, but our granular deliverables and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. If you morph magnetically, you may have to synthesize holistically. We think that most best-of-breed portals use far too much J++, and not enough SVG. What does the industry jargon "re-purposing" really mean? If you cultivate iteravely, you may have to utilize robustly. Metafilter is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks networks. We think that most killer web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough Python. We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize virally than to monetize transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be customer-defined, reality-based? Think C2C2C. Think backward-compatible. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our sticky intuitive obfuscation but our power to orchestrate. We will matrix the industry jargon "integrated". We will incubate the term "fractal". If you syndicate super-transparently, you may have to recontextualize intuitively. Metafilter is the industry leader of user-defined, customized performance reports. Without appropriate partnerships, channels are forced to become plug-and-play. What does the term "compelling" really mean? The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think backward-compatible. Think impactful. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our long-term, leading-edge feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media solutions and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. If you seize interactively, you may have to reintermediate interactively. We will grow our power to iterate without devaluing our aptitude to unleash. If you target intra-extensibly, you may have to synergize proactively. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our collaborative user interfaces and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement.