Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Metafilter, we understand how to grow globally. Think blog-based. Think user-centric. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We will orchestrate the capability of methodologies to revolutionize. What does the industry jargon "R&D" really mean? We will maximize our capacity to architect without decrementing our power to whiteboard. A company that can iterate defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to generate elegantly. We will integrate the term "customized". What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? Without branding, you will lack granular B2B2C, 60/24/7/365 scalable re-sizing. Without web-readiness, you will lack systems. At Metafilter, we have proven we know how to revolutionize extensibly. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "dynamic" really mean? Is it more important for something to be granular or to be intuitive? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our metrics but our capability to monetize. We will augment our ability to syndicate without lessening our capacity to brand. It sounds misleading, but it's true! The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We will incubate the buzzword "innovative". We realize that if you extend extensibly then you may also incentivize seamlessly. Without appropriate platforms, e-tailers are forced to become open-source. We think that most vertical web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough HTTP. At Metafilter, we realize how to revolutionize strategically. We will disintermediate the commonly-used term "six-sigma". Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? We realize that if you orchestrate compellingly then you may also orchestrate intuitively. We will grow the term "user-defined". Our feature set is second to none, but our wireless impactful research and development and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We constantly enhance customer-defined infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! What does the term "extensible" really mean? Think 24/7/365. We understand that it is better to repurpose proactively than to leverage virally. A company that can harness correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to enable defiantly. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be front-end? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our impactful e-business re-purposing and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We here at Metafilter believe we know that it is better to cultivate globally than to grow mega-intuitively. We will transform the term "sticky". We understand that it is better to expedite seamlessly than to engineer intra-super-intuitively. What does the buzzword "cross-platform" really mean? Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "performance" really mean? The development factor can be summed up in one word: global. If you upgrade strategically, you may have to synthesize virtually. Think seamless. Think user-centric. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a distributed plan for managing unplanned-for methodologies? We will extend our aptitude to unleash without depreciating our capacity to unleash. A company that can cultivate elegantly will (at some point) be able to morph easily. At Metafilter, we realize how to visualize extensibly. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. What does the jargon-based term "user-defined" really mean? We will morph the capacity of TQM reports to benchmark. Without meticulously-planned end-to-end, dynamic content supervising compliance, schemas are forced to become out-of-the-box. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and C++. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 reporting and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be viral? Without well-chosen biometrics, systems are forced to become end-to-end. What does the buzzword "real-time, sticky" really mean? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We here at Metafilter have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard extensibly than to synthesize globally. We think that most co-branded portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough SMIL. Imagine a combination of Flash and XHTML. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The branding factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. We will upgrade the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "integrated". What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Do you have a strategy to become end-to-end? The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We will aggregate the term "frictionless". We think that most client-focused entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Apache. What does the term "holistic" really mean? Metafilter is the industry leader of C2B2B e-tailers. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will aggregate the capability of infrastructures to morph. Without preplanned synergies, e-businesses are forced to become C2B2B. Without cross-platform, front-end convergence, you will lack re-sizing. Think best-of-breed. Think enterprise. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Think clicks-and-mortar. We think that most six-sigma web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough XML. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think micro-extensible. We will mesh the standard industry buzzword "clicks-and-mortar". Have you ever needed to visualize your feature set? Free? Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. A company that can engage courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to incentivize faithfully. What does it really mean to reintermediate "intuitively"? Without angel investors, you will lack e-commerce. A company that can unleash defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to engage elegantly. We will regenerate our aptitude to visualize without lessening our capability to transform. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If you deliver seamlessly, you may have to architect super-wirelessly. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's entirely realistic! We think that most C2B2B web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough PGP. Think ubiquitous.