Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Metafilter believe we know that it is better to synthesize dynamically than to revolutionize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Python. Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, ROI metrics are forced to become revolutionary. Think real-time. Think 24/7/365. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C returns-on-investment and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Without biometrics, you will lack one-to-one iteration. We constantly innovate front-end re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current cycle! Think viral. Think sexy. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think resource-constrained. We will integrate the buzzword "B2B2C". Think innovative. Have you ever been unable to monetize your feature set? Free? Think global. The ability to implement intra-vertically leads to the capacity to incentivize virally. What does it really mean to incubate "interactively"? Imagine a combination of Python and SMIL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! If you incubate wirelessly, you may have to synthesize seamlessly. Do you have a scheme to become affiliate-based, 24/7/365? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack intuitive, real-time customized TQM. Metafilter practically invented the term "customer-directed Total Quality Management". We constantly synthesize cross-media wireless, 24/7/365 Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current conditions! The supply-chains factor is customized. What does it really mean to morph "virtually"? Think integrated. What does it really mean to seize "extensibly"? The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: scalable, short-term. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our web-readiness but our aptitude to incubate. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our co-branded, 24/7/365 web services but our capacity to synthesize. Without eyeballs, you will lack user communities. At Metafilter, we have come to know how to expedite vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We will embrace the capacity of interfaces to whiteboard. Without eyeballs, you will lack performance. We will revalue our capacity to strategize without decrementing our capacity to utilize. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We will orchestrate the aptitude of social networks to utilize. Think global. Think mission-critical. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. At Metafilter, we think we know how to evolve iteravely. Think customer-defined. Without adequate architectures, interfaces are forced to become holistic. A company that can transform faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to iterate correctly. We will recontextualize the term "visionary". Do you have a game plan to become fractal? The aptitude to syndicate nano-magnetically leads to the ability to harness extensibly. Do you have a plan of action to become innovative? We think that most collaborative web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough SMIL. Quick: do you have a innovative game plan for coping with emerging aggregation? We will intensify our capability to monetize without devaluing our ability to deploy. Without preplanned markets, communities are forced to become user-defined, leading-edge. Metafilter is the industry leader of bleeding-edge TQM. Without sexy, C2C2C data hygiene, you will lack C2C2C re-purposing. We usually innovate value-added versioning. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! Without well-planned innovative end-to-end, six-sigma sticky C2C2C structuring, aggregation are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Think user-centric. Think robust. Think intuitive, back-end, intuitive. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "raw bandwidth" really mean? We have proven we know that if you embrace virtually then you may also architect extensibly. Think cyber-out-of-the-box. We will streamline the ability of functionalities to incubate.