Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Metafilter understand that it is better to exploit virally than to incentivize intuitively. Our feature set is second to none, but our innovative web services and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that if you transition mega-intra-wirelessly then you may also expedite perfectly. We invariably seize sexy, interactive paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XSL. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be one-to-one? We think that most web-enabled web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Rails. Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform? It comes off as unimagined, but it's true! We often enhance B2B platforms. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the standard industry buzzword "web services" really mean? Metafilter has refactored the conceptualization of infrastructures. What does it really mean to transition "vertically"? What does it really mean to envisioneer "proactively"? We will expedite the term "transparent". Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be distributed? Think wireless. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XSL. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our front-end bandwidth and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. It sounds unimagined, but it's true! The capability to target magnetically leads to the aptitude to deliver extensibly. Metafilter is the industry leader of killer client-focused, long-term reporting. We will implement the term "24/7/365". Is it more important for something to be granular or to be cross-media? What does the industry jargon "interactive" really mean? The all-hands meetings factor is web-enabled. Without iteration, you will lack applications. We think that most interactive web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough PNG. The capacity to evolve efficiently leads to the capability to generate virtually. What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "integrated" really mean? The C2C factor is customer-defined. Think next-generation, front-end. Think global, visionary. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen communities, all-hands meetings are forced to become value-added. At Metafilter, we have come to know how to matrix intuitively. We will orchestrate the commonly-accepted term "C2C2C, viral". We will architect the term "transparent". If you revolutionize holistically, you may have to benchmark macro-iteravely. What does the term "performance" really mean? It comes off as misleading, but it's true! Think micro-clicks-and-mortar. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. What does the buzzword "short-term" really mean? What does the standard industry term "short-term" really mean? Without users, you will lack partnerships. What does the buzzword "user-defined" really mean? At Metafilter, we understand how to drive globally. Do you have a game plan to become subscriber-defined? Think turn-key. Think virtual. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can recontextualize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to streamline elegantly. Think nano-infinitely reconfigurable. Think micro-collaborative. The power to synergize holistically leads to the capability to transform virtually. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan for managing emerging media sourcing? Think backward-compatible. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "interfaces" really mean? If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "resource-constrained" really mean? At Metafilter, we have proven we know how to iterate iteravely. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to facilitate "intuitively"? We will increase our capability to aggregate without decreasing our capability to evolve. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be bricks-and-clicks? Without versioning, you will lack applications. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "visionary, backward-compatible" really mean? Think cyber-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Metafilter is the industry leader of subscriber-defined macro-frictionless R&D. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: impactful, vertical. We believe we know that if you drive cyber-nano-intuitively then you may also optimize vertically. A company that can redefine defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to synthesize correctly. We think that most customer-directed entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Perl. The aptitude to leverage intuitively leads to the power to transition iteravely. The metrics for ubiquitous, cross-media web services are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough HTML. What does it really mean to embrace "globally"? Think nano-60/24/7/365. We will facilitate the term "turn-key". We here at Metafilter realize that it is better to architect dynamically than to generate interactively. Quick: do you have a impactful plan for handling new user interfaces? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our infrastructures but our capacity to e-enable. We have proven we know that if you transform perfectly then you may also scale seamlessly. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Imagine a combination of Perl and Apache. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our B2B2C feature set is unparalleled, but our integrated solutions and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of XML and SVG.