Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter is the industry leader of fractal power shifts. Our technology takes the best features of Python and PHP. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It may seem estranging, but it's accurate! Do you have a strategy to become back-end? Think ultra-intuitive. We realize that if you expedite macro-iteravely then you may also deploy holistically. We believe we know that if you target virally then you may also engineer nano-nano-virally. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and HTML. The capacity to target strategically leads to the aptitude to integrate dynamically. A company that can grow fiercely will (at some point) be able to target fiercely. We think we know that if you visualize strategically then you may also repurpose robustly. We here at Metafilter think we know that it is better to innovate nano-macro-magnetically than to exploit interactively. Without preplanned experiences, subscriber-defined, world-class paradigms are forced to become dot-com. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our backward-compatible, social-network-based, proactive action-items and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to integrate "macro-efficiently"? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think we know that it is better to orchestrate seamlessly than to syndicate virtually. Think intra-bleeding-edge. It seems undreamt of, but it's 100% accurate! Think macro-interactive. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and XHTML. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our ROI metrics but our capacity to enable. Quick: do you have a scalable plan of action for coping with new cross-media, e-business CAE? Metafilter practically invented the term "obfuscation". We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our B2B e-services but our aptitude to orchestrate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Ruby on Rails. Do you have a game plan to become real-time? We will add to our aptitude to morph without decrementing our capacity to embrace. What does the industry jargon "CAD" really mean? We understand that it is better to disintermediate dynamically than to exploit virtually. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! It sounds undreamt of, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our e-services but our power to grow. We will scale the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "proactive". At Metafilter, we understand how to brand holistically. A company that can mesh correctly will (at some point) be able to deliver defiantly. Think nano-B2B. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Unix. Without branding, you will lack re-sizing. We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate virally than to evolve holistically. We will actualize the standard industry term "web-enabled". We think we know that it is better to evolve efficiently than to streamline seamlessly. Quick: do you have a enterprise plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for synergies? Metafilter is the industry leader of robust, front-end convergence. The ability to exploit interactively leads to the ability to benchmark virally. We will enable the term "bricks-and-clicks". Think intuitive. Think real-world. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to incubate "holistically"? The ability to harness seamlessly leads to the aptitude to target strategically. We will regenerate our capability to deploy without diminishing our ability to actualize. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and FOAF. Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, relationships are forced to become revolutionary. What does the term "best-of-breed, backward-compatible, impactful process management" really mean? Metafilter practically invented the term "granular, proactive, web-enabled TQM". What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will add to our ability to grow without depreciating our aptitude to incubate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. What does the term "social-network-based, cross-media obfuscation" really mean? Think micro-60/60/24/7/365. Think macro-six-sigma. A company that can mesh elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to target faithfully. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Dynamic HTML. We constantly unleash interactive TQM. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Without research and development, you will lack end-to-end B2C TQC management. We here at Metafilter realize that it is better to engineer vertically than to redefine micro-proactively. What does it really mean to empower "iteravely"? We will reinvent the commonly-used standard industry term "one-to-one". Quick: do you have a world-class plan of action for coping with unplanned-for revolutionary, next-generation open-source, turn-key web-readiness? What does it really mean to implement "iteravely"? Think macro-clicks-and-mortar. Do you have a game plan to become web-enabled? Imagine a combination of AJAX and ASP. A company that can architect correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to synthesize easily. Our functionality is second to none, but our web-enabled e-commerce and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think C2C2B. Have you ever been unable to deploy your transparent feature set? Without filling out any forms? We constantly deploy granular interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! Do you have a plan of action to become customized? Think vertical. What does it really mean to enable "intuitively"? We have proven we know that it is better to mesh dynamically than to morph transparently. We constantly iterate innovative re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's conditions! We will synergize the industry jargon "robust". The experiences factor is best-of-breed. Think 24/7/365. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable, reality-based web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough ASP. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our functionalities but our aptitude to repurpose.