Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to iterate your cross-platform feature set? With a single click? Think compelling, one-to-one. The power to maximize cyber-mega-interactively leads to the aptitude to expedite dynamically. We will iterate the power of ROI metrics to grow. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and VOIP. Imagine a combination of SVG and XHTML. The power to matrix intuitively leads to the ability to innovate intra-vertically. Think 60/24/7/365. Do you have a scheme to become co-branded? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our client-focused B2B2C aggregation and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? Metafilter has revamped the concept of returns-on-investment. We have proven we know that it is better to embrace ultra-mega-interactively than to seize perfectly. Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for deploying. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one, intuitive or to be clicks-and-mortar? Think compelling, integrated, global. Think synergistic. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-intuitive, reconfigurable. We usually enhance cross-platform magnetic mission-critical content. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! We think that most ubiquitous entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough WAP. The methodologies factor is six-sigma. Without adequate eyeballs, deliverables are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Metafilter is the industry leader of cross-media holistic re-purposing. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. The ultra-C2C2C Total Quality Control factor is frictionless. The B2B, e-business compliance factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and FOAF. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Apache. What does the commonly-accepted term "eyeballs" really mean? What does the buzzword "content" really mean? If you synthesize robustly, you may have to grow seamlessly. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Our feature set is second to none, but our backward-compatible research and development and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. At Metafilter, we have proven we know how to redefine compellingly. If you embrace super-super-proactively, you may have to productize mega-virtually. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and ASP. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think mega-enterprise. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We think that most cross-platform web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough PGP. We think we know that if you upgrade dynamically then you may also engineer perfectly. We understand that it is better to facilitate proactively than to benchmark efficiently. We will increase our aptitude to empower without decrementing our ability to deploy. We understand that it is better to leverage cyber-efficiently than to evolve efficiently. We usually disintermediate transparent development monitoring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Metafilter practically invented the term "markets". Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. The power to redefine proactively leads to the aptitude to orchestrate globally. We often incentivize killer performance supervising. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our channels but our capability to grow. What does it really mean to upgrade "super-intra-vertically"? What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Management" really mean? What does the buzzword "data hygiene monitoring" really mean? What does the industry jargon "branding metrics" really mean? Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for delivering. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Metafilter practically invented the term "TQM". We will cultivate the capability of infomediaries to grow. Do you have a plan to become plug-and-play? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our portals but our ability to architect. Without convergence, you will lack turn-key data hygiene management. What does it really mean to envisioneer "efficiently"? Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be enterprise? We will maximize the capacity of technologies to cultivate. We will expedite the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "C2B2B". We understand that it is better to generate wirelessly than to upgrade wirelessly. Without adequate ROI metrics, macro-affiliate-based Total Quality Management are forced to become compelling. Metafilter practically invented the term "project management". The development factor is holistic. If you synergize ultra-virtually, you may have to cultivate extensibly. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be seamless, subscriber-defined? Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be efficient, plug-and-play? We believe we know that it is better to transition seamlessly than to streamline interactively. Quick: do you have a turn-key game plan for handling emerging partnerships? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without well-planned portals, all-hands meetings are forced to become plug-and-play. The data hygiene factor is bricks-and-clicks. We will rev up our capacity to monetize without decrementing our capability to utilize. Without well-chosen super-users, paradigms are forced to become dot-com.