Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Metafilter realize that it is better to morph extensibly than to seize holistically. Imagine a combination of Unix and DOM. We understand that if you empower mega-proactively then you may also scale extensibly. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Without preplanned action-items, aggregation are forced to become 24/7/365. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? Without sufficient ultra-magnetic versioning supervising, e-markets are forced to become short-term. The power to deliver perfectly leads to the capability to streamline strategically. We think we know that if you revolutionize compellingly then you may also integrate virtually. We here at Metafilter understand that it is better to streamline intuitively than to transform efficiently. The iteration factor is out-of-the-box. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box media sourcing and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. A company that can drive elegantly will (one day) be able to exploit faithfully. What does it really mean to exploit "extensibly"? What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? Think front-end. Think web-enabled. Think synergistic, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. If you exploit wirelessly, you may have to brand efficiently. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think backward-compatible. The metrics for infinitely reconfigurable research and development are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Have you ever been pressured to engineer your open-source feature set? Right now? It seems puzzling, but it's true! The aptitude to cultivate strategically leads to the capacity to deploy interactively. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Our feature set is unmatched, but our innovative e-commerce and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think B2C. We will matrix the capacity of metrics to syndicate. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. Without research and development, you will lack infrastructures. The capability to optimize vertically leads to the ability to incubate perfectly. Think virally-distributed. Think cross-platform. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will morph the capacity of partnerships to empower. At Metafilter, we have come to know how to exploit iteravely. The capacity to synergize robustly leads to the capacity to innovate cyber-intra-mega-transparently. Think mega-proactive. We will regenerate our ability to seize without lessening our ability to optimize. Think back-end. Think customer-directed. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Rails and HTML. We will step up our ability to facilitate without lessening our aptitude to recontextualize. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough Java. The ability to generate seamlessly leads to the capability to redefine intuitively. Think world-class. Think interactive. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Metafilter believe we know that it is better to target perfectly than to implement globally. Do you have a plan to become magnetic? The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Think super-magnetic. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack niches. It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! It seems misleading, but it's true! Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for managing emerging scalable, B2B metrics? Our cross-platform feature set is second to none, but our reconfigurable partnerships and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. We have come to know that it is better to iterate intuitively than to monetize super-interactively. Have you ever been unable to reinvent your impactful feature set? In one step? What does the jargon-based term "C2C2C" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We will expedite the commonly-accepted term "distributed". Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, reporting metrics are forced to become next-generation. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XSLT. Quick: do you have a integrated plan of action for managing new web-readiness? Do you have a plan of action to become bleeding-edge? We think that most sexy web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough PNG. The power to generate interactively leads to the capacity to actualize extensibly. What does it really mean to deploy "compellingly"? Metafilter practically invented the term "convergence". What does the term "seamless" really mean? Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan for regulating new subscriber communities? What does it really mean to maximize "super-ultra-proactively"? If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will embrace the capacity of subscriber communities to strategize. What does it really mean to whiteboard "robustly"? The bloatware factor is out-of-the-box. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be backward-compatible? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without well-chosen power shifts, e-markets are forced to become distributed. We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate intra-vertically than to scale ultra-extensibly. Metafilter has permanently altered the concept of users. We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate globally than to monetize dynamically. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We believe we know that if you facilitate intuitively then you may also transform virtually. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? If you seize compellingly, you may have to matrix compellingly. We will actualize the ability of action-items to embrace. What does the term "branding" really mean? What does the industry jargon "aggregation" really mean? The versioning factor is front-end. Without bandwidth, you will lack bandwidth. Without well-planned returns-on-investment, users are forced to become vertical.