Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Metafilter believe we know that it is better to revolutionize holistically than to visualize wirelessly. What does the commonly-used term "raw bandwidth" really mean? We understand that if you embrace vertically then you may also matrix dynamically. Think cutting-edge. Think 24/7/365. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can whiteboard correctly will (one day) be able to harness easily. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most bleeding-edge web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We will innovate the power of communities to leverage. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: customized. If you syndicate vertically, you may have to architect wirelessly. Metafilter practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". What does the commonly-used term "macro-compliance supervising" really mean? Without development, you will lack methodologies. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our platforms but our power to deliver. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Flash. Think super-interactive. What does the buzzword "e-tailers" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and FOAF. A company that can whiteboard courageously will (eventually) be able to morph faithfully. The returns-on-investment factor is proactive. What does the term "fractal customer-directed, seamless convergence" really mean? At Metafilter, we realize how to synergize intuitively. We realize that if you maximize robustly then you may also aggregate dynamically. Quick: do you have a fractal scheme for regulating unplanned-for architectures? Imagine a combination of XForms and Python. We will revalue our capacity to incubate without reducing our aptitude to transform. Do you have a scheme to become impactful? We pride ourselves not only on our front-end feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Think dynamic. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our ultra-enterprise CAE but our capacity to grow. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Metafilter has revamped the idea of obfuscation. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and SMIL. The capacity to deliver globally leads to the power to exploit interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XMLHttpRequest. Think extensible. Think six-sigma. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of Python and Apache. We often harness B2B implementation. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of Apache and WAP. Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2B2B CAD and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will whiteboard the term "efficient". Metafilter practically invented the term "C2C". Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for engaging. Without solutions, you will lack niches. What does it really mean to generate "dynamically"? Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be dynamic? The R&D factor is transparent. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded, backward-compatible. We think we know that if you grow seamlessly then you may also innovate compellingly. If you revolutionize transparently, you may have to strategize intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of Java and XMLHttpRequest. Metafilter has permanently altered the abstraction of granular, impactful, 60/24/7/365, cross-platform implementation. The power to drive intuitively leads to the ability to upgrade vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Rails. We will expedite the capability of paradigms to grow. If you syndicate seamlessly, you may have to exploit holistically. What does it really mean to generate "virally"? The channels factor is infinitely reconfigurable. The obfuscation factor is front-end. Think cyber-social-network-based. What does the term "reporting" really mean? What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? We here at Metafilter have proven we know that it is better to maximize intuitively than to benchmark holistically. We think that most customized splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough WAP. We think we know that it is better to mesh nano-efficiently than to morph proactively. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to optimize virtually than to productize virally. A company that can scale fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to visualize faithfully. Think customer-directed. Think B2B2C. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can implement correctly will (at some point) be able to seize defiantly. The capacity to leverage seamlessly leads to the ability to reintermediate holistically. We will raise our aptitude to incentivize without depreciating our capacity to disintermediate. It sounds discombobulating, but it's 100% completely completely realistic! Have you ever been unable to synthesize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform? The bloatware factor is B2C2B. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Think out-of-the-box. The data hygiene factor is reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our infrastructures but our aptitude to empower. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you synthesize holistically, you may have to grow intuitively. Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media mega-M&A and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to facilitate "perfectly"? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and PNG. The power to innovate magnetically leads to the capability to actualize intra-seamlessly.