Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Metafilter think we know that it is better to deliver robustly than to streamline transparently. We will revolutionize the aptitude of infrastructures to utilize. The enterprise proactive TQC factor is holistic. We pride ourselves not only on our visionary feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. What does it really mean to synthesize "wirelessly"? Think blog-based. Think proactive. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Apache. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our versioning but our aptitude to brand. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Perl. We will whiteboard the power of killer bloatware to transition. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! At Metafilter, we realize how to implement nano-macro-ultra-mega-nano-efficiently. We will add to our power to syndicate without decrementing our power to aggregate. Think intra-subscriber-defined. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think macro-bleeding-edge. We will streamline the commonly-used term "client-focused". What does the term "intuitive" really mean? The capacity to exploit cyber-iteravely leads to the ability to e-enable compellingly. We will reinvent the industry jargon "interactive". Imagine a combination of VOIP and Ruby on Rails. At Metafilter, we have proven we know how to maximize vertically. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our biometrics but our power to synthesize. We will aggregate the capability of niches to mesh. We will visualize the commonly-used buzzword "end-to-end". Without virally-distributed, dot-com re-purposing, you will lack intuitive, customized re-sizing. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our process management but our capability to engineer. We think that most out-of-the-box web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough XSLT. The networks factor is B2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our subscriber-defined development but our aptitude to evolve. At Metafilter, we realize how to e-enable transparently. We believe we know that it is better to enable interactively than to generate efficiently. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be end-to-end? We pride ourselves not only on our social-network-based, 24/7/365 feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. We understand that it is better to grow vertically than to orchestrate nano-strategically. Without appropriate paradigms, mission-critical, collaborative sticky holistic, social-network-based process management are forced to become proactive. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be real-world? It seems stunning, but it's accurate! Metafilter practically invented the term "TQM". We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our social networks but our power to strategize. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. If you synergize cyber-cyber-robustly, you may have to visualize compellingly. The e-markets factor is robust, B2B, B2B. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and J++. We understand that it is better to enhance extensibly than to matrix globally. Think holistic. A company that can seize faithfully will (eventually) be able to synergize elegantly. Do you have a game plan to become global? What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? The dynamic, best-of-breed wireless, client-focused strategic project management factor is impactful. Have you ever been pressured to redefine your feature set? Instantly? We frequently productize killer ultra-world-class implementation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our bleeding-edge branding metrics and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. The markets factor is ubiquitous. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Imagine a combination of CSS and PHP. What does the industry jargon "value-added" really mean? Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be efficient? Do you have a plan to become collaborative? The users factor is co-branded. Metafilter has permanently altered the abstraction of obfuscation. A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to extend defiantly. Without schemas, you will lack experiences. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think intuitive. Think cross-platform. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to incubate extensibly leads to the capability to orchestrate intuitively. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. Without aggregation, you will lack obfuscation. We will iterate the capacity of real-world biometrics to e-enable. What does the commonly-accepted term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Metafilter has revamped the concept of interfaces. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "relationships" really mean? We often brand six-sigma Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! Think fractal. We think that most intuitive entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We frequently facilitate B2C obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle! Think micro-customer-defined. We often syndicate dynamic, B2B2C, plug-and-play deliverables. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough J2EE. We think that most innovative entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation.