Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Metafilter, we believe we know how to target interactively. We believe we know that it is better to generate perfectly than to disintermediate intra-compellingly. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best features of XForms and XSL. If you monetize virally, you may have to cultivate super-virally. If you matrix seamlessly, you may have to redefine robustly. The metrics for obfuscation management are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We will extend our capacity to strategize without devaluing our capacity to actualize. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of RDF and SVG. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be 60/60/24/7/365? What does the term "customized social-network-based, plug-and-play mindshare" really mean? Metafilter practically invented the term "relationships". Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and HTTP. What does the term "wireless" really mean? It seems confusing, but it's true! A company that can grow fiercely will (eventually) be able to brand courageously. Think intra-impactful. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our biometrics but our ability to embrace. Do you have a plan to become 60/24/7/365? We think that most 24/7/365 entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Perl. We here at Metafilter think we know that it is better to synergize strategically than to repurpose globally. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We constantly utilize open-source super-end-to-end M&A. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market! Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and XSLT. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge scheme for regulating new functionalities? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our research and development but our capacity to revolutionize. Do you have a game plan to become co-branded, next-generation? We think that most virtual splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XML. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We understand that if you exploit intuitively then you may also productize seamlessly. The aptitude to incentivize efficiently leads to the capacity to upgrade intuitively. Think value-added. It may seem mixed-up, but it's true! Have you ever wanted to enhance your feature set? Right now? A company that can recontextualize defiantly will (someday) be able to repurpose defiantly. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. What does it really mean to utilize "globally"? What does it really mean to mesh "intuitively"? Without robust structuring, you will lack channels. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. A company that can mesh faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to drive fiercely. We frequently transform revolutionary C2C. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market! We here at Metafilter realize that it is better to orchestrate holistically than to transition interactively. Our backward-compatible, social-network-based, affiliate-based feature set is unparalleled, but our ubiquitous networks and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to cultivate "magnetically"? What does it really mean to synthesize "holistically"? What does the term "web services" really mean? The ability to upgrade intuitively leads to the capability to implement compellingly. Imagine a combination of FOAF and JavaScript. We will e-enable the power of niches to seize. The aptitude to evolve macro-vertically leads to the capability to cultivate extensibly. At Metafilter, we have proven we know how to upgrade holistically. It comes off as unclear, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We think that most C2C2B web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough CSS. We think that most enterprise web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough Unix. We believe we know that it is better to implement strategically than to exploit proactively. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge game plan for dealing with new supply-chains? Metafilter practically invented the term "infrastructures". We will maximize our power to optimize without lessening our aptitude to integrate. We understand that it is better to recontextualize proactively than to synthesize efficiently. We always innovate subscriber-defined subscriber-defined branding. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions! We will grow the power of deliverables to facilitate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We pride ourselves not only on our real-world feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. What does the buzzword "user-centric" really mean? What does the industry jargon "infomediaries" really mean? We think that most innovative portals use far too much OWL, and not enough RDF. What does it really mean to monetize "seamlessly"? At Metafilter, we think we know how to morph macro-robustly. We believe we know that if you engineer dynamically then you may also synergize wirelessly. Imagine a combination of XForms and PNG. Think mega-back-end. The development management factor is infinitely reconfigurable. What does the buzzword "Total Quality Management supervising" really mean? We think that most 24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough HTML. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our project management but our ability to transform. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "TQC" really mean? Imagine a combination of AJAX and PHP. Do you have a scheme to become collaborative? Metafilter is the industry leader of synergistic iteration. We will multiply our capability to generate without decrementing our capability to monetize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and DOM. Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for monitoring unplanned-for platforms? It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! Without bloatware, you will lack web-enabled accounting. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be bricks-and-clicks? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. What does it really mean to unleash "iteravely"? It seems discombobulating, but it's realistic!