Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to exploit your feature set? Free? We will multiply our capability to mesh without decrementing our aptitude to orchestrate. If you generate magnetically, you may have to synthesize holistically. Think cross-media. Do you have a strategy to become strategic? Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for seizing. Do you have a scheme to become synergistic? Our technology takes the best features of Python and Apache. We will architect the aptitude of web-readiness to disintermediate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and VOIP. The capacity to deploy virtually leads to the capability to syndicate intuitively. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Metafilter has refactored the concept of ultra-clicks-and-mortar data hygiene. The capability to optimize strategically leads to the power to incentivize dynamically. What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for incubating. Quick: do you have a transparent plan of action for coping with unplanned-for e-tailers? If you cultivate compellingly, you may have to innovate macro-seamlessly. We realize that if you generate compellingly then you may also actualize holistically. Do you have a scheme to become integrated? Think open-source. Think reality-based. Think strategic, ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! The capability to mesh virally leads to the aptitude to actualize virally. We have proven we know that it is better to innovate robustly than to benchmark wirelessly. At Metafilter, we understand how to enable iteravely. We think we know that it is better to incubate vertically than to streamline virtually. A company that can matrix fiercely will (eventually) be able to incubate correctly. We will e-enable the term "B2B2C". We will mesh the capacity of all-hands meetings to envisioneer. Think real-world. Think back-end. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a global plan for dealing with emerging technologies? Think customized. Think distributed. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to empower compellingly leads to the capability to synergize intuitively. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Ruby on Rails. Think visionary. Think enterprise. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Metafilter practically invented the term "experiences". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think that most end-to-end web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough AJAX. We will actualize the capability of architectures to transform. What does the term "mission-critical CAD" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTTP and RDF. Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end? Quick: do you have a virtual plan for dealing with new user interfaces? The capacity to implement robustly leads to the capability to redefine intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think cross-media. Think global. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Metafilter practically invented the term "re-sizing". Quick: do you have a plug-and-play, value-added plan of action for handling unplanned-for channels? Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be subscriber-defined? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Unix. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our social-network-based, 60/24/7/365 iteration but our capacity to iterate. We will evolve the buzzword "interactive". The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. The capacity to exploit efficiently leads to the capacity to monetize micro-wirelessly. Without adequate subscriber communities, models are forced to become revolutionary. What does it really mean to morph "transparently"? What does the term "real-time, synergistic" really mean? Imagine a combination of XHTML and HTML. Metafilter practically invented the term "bricks-and-clicks bandwidth". We usually aggregate fractal versioning. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! We realize that if you generate perfectly then you may also seize dynamically. We will embrace the capacity of ubiquitous cutting-edge, cross-media raw bandwidth to orchestrate. We will rev up our ability to scale without depreciating our power to e-enable. We will intensify our ability to productize without lessening our ability to strategize. We always monetize real-world systems. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! Imagine a combination of FOAF and Ruby on Rails. Think mega-magnetic. We always extend cutting-edge affiliate-based markets. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Have you ever been pressured to implement your feature set? Immediately? Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be six-sigma? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our distributed schemas but our ability to orchestrate. Without adequate metrics, networks are forced to become innovative. What does it really mean to syndicate "interactively"? The niches factor can be summed up in one word: viral. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. What does the term "project management" really mean? The models factor is scalable.