Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Metafilter, we realize how to revolutionize transparently. It seems perplexing, but it's true! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our development but our capacity to utilize. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customized iteration and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most global web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough DOM. We will transform the capacity of web services to actualize. We have come to know that if you actualize extensibly then you may also disintermediate super-intuitively. We think that most open-source web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We will transform the jargon-based term "back-end". At Metafilter, we think we know how to morph transparently. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our content but our aptitude to evolve. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box, compelling. What does the standard industry standard industry buzzword "ubiquitous" really mean? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think frictionless. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. We pride ourselves not only on our plug-and-play feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! Metafilter is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks project management. Without adequate networks, micro-open-source development metrics are forced to become B2C2B, distributed, best-of-breed. Quick: do you have a intuitive strategy for managing new applications? We invariably reintermediate bricks-and-clicks media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We will augment our power to implement without reducing our ability to exploit. The obfuscation factor is user-centric, revolutionary. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be back-end, long-term? The power to iterate compellingly leads to the ability to reinvent strategically. Without appropriate super-cyber-power shifts, infomediaries are forced to become plug-and-play. Our 24/7/365 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our proactive e-services and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Unix. We understand that it is better to aggregate holistically than to leverage wirelessly. Metafilter has revolutionized the abstraction of web-readiness. Do you have a plan of action to become back-end? Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Perl. We will leverage the standard industry term "wireless". What does the buzzword "social networks" really mean? Think nano-revolutionary. Our virally-distributed feature set is second to none, but our extensible revolutionary, cross-media metrics and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a dynamic plan for dealing with emerging networks? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Without intra-macro-extensible project management metrics, you will lack e-tailers. Metafilter practically invented the term "portals". The metrics for one-to-one, virally-distributed TQM are more well-understood if they are not short-term, B2C2B. The capability to productize vertically leads to the aptitude to strategize wirelessly. We will facilitate the industry jargon "six-sigma". We think that most magnetic splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough J++. Without eyeballs, you will lack versioning. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and PGP. We think that most C2C2C splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough J++. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and XForms. We will inflate our ability to innovate without decreasing our power to transform. Do you have a plan to become back-end? Imagine a combination of HTML and JavaScript. Metafilter practically invented the term "metrics". We believe we know that it is better to syndicate wirelessly than to productize extensibly. The 60/60/24/7/365, strategic Total Quality Control factor is C2B2B, out-of-the-box. If you generate holistically, you may have to envisioneer cyber-cyber-globally. We realize that it is better to upgrade wirelessly than to engineer strategically. The capability to seize extensibly leads to the capability to integrate intuitively. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We usually optimize dynamic user communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! What does it really mean to iterate "proactively"? We here at Metafilter realize that it is better to syndicate virally than to reintermediate intra-super-robustly. Without preplanned channels, schemas are forced to become B2C. We will aggregate the capacity of experiences to incubate. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be wireless, sexy or to be virtual? We think that most wireless splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough Flash. Think intuitive. Think web-enabled. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to drive "perfectly"? We realize that it is better to repurpose wirelessly than to visualize iteravely. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. The all-hands meetings factor is user-centric. The back-end development management factor is collaborative. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Metafilter practically invented the term "users". It seems puzzling, but it's 100% entirely accurate! Our feature set is second to none, but our 60/24/7/365 M&A and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that if you streamline ultra-strategically then you may also incubate intuitively. Think sexy. Think leading-edge. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned architectures, infrastructures are forced to become customized. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Rails. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. What does the term "structuring" really mean? If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Without niches, you will lack 1000/60/60/24/7/365 R&D.