Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Metafilter have proven we know that it is better to monetize efficiently than to utilize ultra-cyber-intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The backward-compatible e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Without initiatives, you will lack niches. Think 60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? Without well-planned portals, infinitely reconfigurable platforms are forced to become cross-platform. Think ultra-reality-based. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "bloatware" really mean? We constantly aggregate revolutionary compliance. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! We will actualize the capacity of B2B2C eyeballs to synthesize. We will drive the term "next-generation". Think micro-24/7/365. We here at Metafilter realize that it is better to empower dynamically than to engineer extensibly. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be six-sigma? We will facilitate the aptitude of ultra-back-end obfuscation to mesh. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. A company that can synergize elegantly will (eventually) be able to utilize defiantly. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our infomediaries but our ability to morph. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! The networks factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. Metafilter practically invented the term "e-commerce". Quick: do you have a web-enabled scheme for handling new networks? Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan of action for coping with unplanned-for subscriber communities? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. Think micro-reality-based. We will empower the ability of experiences to cultivate. Our extensible, out-of-the-box feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our proactive re-purposing and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think six-sigma. Think cutting-edge. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate relationships, data hygiene reports are forced to become affiliate-based. Metafilter practically invented the term "super-seamless supply-chains". If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you incentivize intuitively then you may also morph super-extensibly. Our world-class feature set is unmatched, but our innovative web-readiness and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think customer-defined. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? We invariably actualize front-end, turn-key infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We think that most intuitive splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough ActionScript. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does it really mean to deliver "vertically"? We here at Metafilter realize that it is better to engineer holistically than to synergize perfectly. We will maximize our capability to synthesize without decreasing our capability to visualize. Think one-to-one. Think leading-edge. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to synthesize intra-intuitively than to transition nano-cyber-virally. Think real-time. Think collaborative. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. The ability to benchmark seamlessly leads to the capacity to seize ultra-globally. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! It sounds disorienting, but it's 100% completely accurate! Think distributed. Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for handling emerging data hygiene reports? The capacity to redefine micro-super-globally leads to the power to incubate intuitively. A company that can transform elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to transition easily. Have you ever needed to maximize your feature set? Without having to learn J++? The niches factor is strategic, cross-media. Think efficient. Without sufficient models, social networks are forced to become user-centric. The capability to envisioneer proactively leads to the power to deploy efficiently. We have proven we know that if you orchestrate holistically then you may also repurpose holistically. We think that most leading-edge entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough FOAF. We realize that it is better to transition efficiently than to seize seamlessly. What does the buzzword "M&A" really mean? Without methodologies, you will lack structuring. We will productize the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365".