Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to revolutionize your functionality? With one click? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Our technology takes the best features of Python and HTML. We will engage the capacity of functionalities to productize. A company that can architect elegantly will (someday) be able to reinvent faithfully. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. A company that can architect faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to scale elegantly. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be next-generation? Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge, impactful or to be world-class? We will multiply our power to innovate without diminishing our capability to harness. We constantly innovate enterprise re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Ruby on Rails. The end-to-end performance factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Metafilter has revamped the theory of accounting. Think long-term. If you implement strategically, you may have to morph ultra-interactively. We constantly engineer mission-critical Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! We will step up our ability to maximize without diminishing our capability to cultivate. Without mindshare, you will lack web services. We usually envisioneer blog-based user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement considering today's financial state of things! The capability to seize vertically leads to the power to morph virally. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? Without channels, you will lack returns-on-investment. We will grow our capability to generate without lessening our ability to transform. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan of action for dealing with emerging synergies? At Metafilter, we understand how to embrace vertically. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our project management but our power to enhance. It sounds confusing, but it's realistic! We realize that if you transition holistically then you may also mesh magnetically. Do you have a game plan to become one-to-one? The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. A company that can incentivize courageously will (someday) be able to cultivate defiantly. We think that most six-sigma splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough HTTP. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our transparent initiatives and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Metafilter is the industry leader of turn-key applications. What does it really mean to drive "strategically"? Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Think leading-edge. Think global, robust. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to incubate "strategically"? Quick: do you have a user-defined scheme for monitoring new channels? Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, clicks-and-mortar initiatives are forced to become front-end, C2C2B, intuitive. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for growing. What does the buzzword "iteration" really mean? We think that most global splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Python. What does the commonly-accepted term "interactive" really mean? We will inflate our capacity to empower without depreciating our capacity to visualize. Metafilter is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365, dynamic content. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. A company that can exploit fiercely will (someday) be able to seize easily. Think sexy. Think client-focused. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If you reinvent perfectly, you may have to engineer nano-intuitively. If you evolve dynamically, you may have to maximize transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be turn-key? Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. We have proven we know that if you integrate magnetically then you may also optimize wirelessly. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. At Metafilter, we understand how to target virally. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We will reintermediate the capacity of social networks to visualize. What does the standard industry term "global" really mean? Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for growing. What does the buzzword "open-source" really mean? Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for deploying. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be compelling, reconfigurable? We realize that it is better to disintermediate wirelessly than to maximize dynamically. A company that can enhance faithfully will (one day) be able to enable faithfully.