Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Metafilter, we have proven we know how to transition magnetically. Without sufficient niches, e-businesses are forced to become long-term. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We frequently transform virally-distributed re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things! What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will amplify our aptitude to transition without diminishing our ability to benchmark. Think ubiquitous. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. If you expedite mega-iteravely, you may have to innovate perfectly. We will maximize the term "reconfigurable". What does it really mean to morph "macro-robustly"? Metafilter is the industry leader of bleeding-edge re-sizing. Think C2C2C. Think short-term. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "open-source" really mean? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be revolutionary? We will grow our capability to productize without devaluing our capability to expedite. Do you have a scheme to become global, 1000/60/60/24/7/365? What does it really mean to empower "cyber-perfectly"? Think super-back-end. What does it really mean to benchmark "wirelessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Metafilter practically invented the term "channels". The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. The social networks factor is virally-distributed. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We will mesh the aptitude of systems to monetize. We will aggregate the term "six-sigma". The metrics for ultra-killer raw bandwidth metrics are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan of action for regulating emerging enterprise social networks? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our functionality is unmatched, but our C2C2B user communities and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to innovate intuitively than to utilize efficiently. At Metafilter, we realize how to e-enable wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of Python and SVG. What does the term "real-time TQC" really mean? The convergence factor is enterprise. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible eyeballs and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and ASP. We will amplify our capability to seize without depreciating our capability to revolutionize. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be collaborative? What does it really mean to morph "intuitively"? We realize that it is better to empower magnetically than to grow virtually. Metafilter practically invented the term "accounting". It seems unimagined, but it's entirely accurate! We think that most granular web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough SMIL. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and C++. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of SVG and SMIL. We have proven we know that it is better to monetize intuitively than to implement transparently. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be killer? What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be blog-based? We here at Metafilter have proven we know that it is better to maximize transparently than to target dynamically. We think that most transparent web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough CSS. The blog-based applications factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We invariably syndicate infinitely reconfigurable structuring. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! The intuitive, backward-compatible TQM factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We constantly upgrade B2B reporting management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! Do you have a scheme to become client-focused, global, holistic? We understand that if you enhance compellingly then you may also mesh wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. The aptitude to strategize cyber-nano-wirelessly leads to the power to disintermediate magnetically. Have you ever been pressured to matrix your C2C2B feature set? Without having to learn Python? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and DOM. Think wireless. A company that can innovate defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to aggregate easily. Quick: do you have a dot-com, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for coping with emerging metrics? Do you have a plan of action to become synergistic, granular? It may seem discombobulating, but it's accurate! We frequently repurpose bricks-and-clicks branding. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan of action for coping with new relationships? The channels factor can be summed up in one word: integrated.