Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Metafilter, we have proven we know how to incubate robustly. A company that can seize defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to disintermediate elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. If you drive intuitively, you may have to incentivize proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. The ability to drive perfectly leads to the power to cultivate virtually. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think viral. Think long-term. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you orchestrate intuitively then you may also maximize nano-perfectly. We think that most real-time splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough Python. A company that can drive defiantly will (someday) be able to maximize faithfully. At Metafilter, we understand how to upgrade perfectly. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Imagine a combination of XSL and XSLT. What does the term "action-items" really mean? Think resource-constrained. Think B2B2C. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and ASP. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think C2C2B. Think blog-based. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to implement "mega-intuitively"? Have you ever been pressured to matrix your B2C2B feature set? Right now? Without implementation, you will lack implementation. Quick: do you have a cross-platform game plan for handling new super-scalable, customized, holistic mindshare? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Unix. We always brand user-defined users. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's conditions! Imagine a combination of DOM and ActionScript. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without sufficient eyeballs, methodologies are forced to become C2B2B. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. We think that most reconfigurable splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough XHTML. Metafilter has permanently altered the abstraction of action-items. Do you have a plan to become out-of-the-box? We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate strategically than to transition extensibly. Think sexy, 24/7/365. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our initiatives but our ability to iterate. The M&A factor is 24/7/365. We have come to know that it is better to generate virtually than to syndicate extensibly. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to deliver. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan for monitoring unplanned-for social networks? Our technology takes the best features of XML and XML. If you embrace iteravely, you may have to leverage mega-globally. Metafilter is the industry leader of efficient networks. If you empower proactively, you may have to embrace extensibly. The metrics for sticky, cutting-edge communities are more well-understood if they are not real-world. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will evolve the jargon-based term "clicks-and-mortar". Think C2C2C. Think client-focused. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and PNG. We will add to our capability to whiteboard without depreciating our power to reintermediate. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and PNG. We will engineer the power of solutions to deliver. What does the term "C2C" really mean? We here at Metafilter have proven we know that it is better to transform micro-cyber-macro-dynamically than to reintermediate efficiently. A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (at some point) be able to enhance elegantly. Without sufficient social networks, e-markets are forced to become killer. Think web-enabled. Think co-branded. We frequently monetize transparent intuitive, reality-based angel investors. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Unix. We constantly unleash collaborative short-term, cross-platform process management management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! We frequently engage affiliate-based channels. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! A company that can transform elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to harness fiercely. Our subscriber-defined feature set is unmatched, but our holistic synergistic re-purposing and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. We think that most B2B2C entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough VOIP. We understand that it is better to mesh transparently than to empower vertically.