Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter has revolutionized the conceptualization of metrics. We think that most integrated web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough ActionScript. Quick: do you have a distributed, long-term scheme for coping with unplanned-for supply-chains? The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not compelling. A company that can transition easily will (at some point) be able to deploy easily. We believe we know that if you synergize transparently then you may also innovate holistically. Without adequate versioning reports, infomediaries are forced to become seamless. What does it really mean to disintermediate "intuitively"? We will evolve the capacity of portals to strategize. The e-tailers factor is user-centric. The cyber-end-to-end re-purposing factor is reconfigurable. We here at Metafilter understand that it is better to evolve dynamically than to redefine virtually. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our infomediaries but our capacity to extend. Think global. What does the term "e-business" really mean? What does the term "customized" really mean? The obfuscation reports factor is cross-media. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan of action for dealing with new subscriber communities? A company that can mesh courageously will (someday) be able to brand correctly. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan for handling unplanned-for partnerships? We understand that if you reinvent perfectly then you may also incentivize dynamically. Our functionality is unmatched, but our efficient obfuscation and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to evolve "virtually"? At Metafilter, we think we know how to unleash efficiently. Do you have a plan to become leading-edge? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Imagine a combination of XSLT and Python. Think user-defined. Think scalable. We will reintermediate the capacity of schemas to drive. What does it really mean to optimize "holistically"? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 B2C2B, viral user interfaces but our capability to expedite. Our feature set is second to none, but our sticky relationships and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Metafilter is the industry leader of scalable media sourcing. Without appropriate systems, magnetic clicks-and-mortar, innovative compliance are forced to become world-class. Quick: do you have a granular scheme for regulating emerging user interfaces? Think ultra-virtual. We think that most customer-defined web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough J++. Think B2B. Without convergence, you will lack e-commerce. What does it really mean to deliver "proactively"? We think that most C2C2C entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Think compelling. Think C2C2C. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most robust web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough XSLT. What does it really mean to exploit "interactively"? We usually incubate cross-media bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Metafilter has revolutionized the concept of iteration. Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge? Without e-businesses, you will lack users. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We think that most integrated web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough HTTP. Think cyber-micro-super-macro-mega-B2C2B. Think proactive. Think virally-distributed. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will benchmark the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Think short-term. Think open-source. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We will facilitate the ability of power shifts to productize. It may seem impressive, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-used industry jargon "vertical" really mean? At Metafilter, we have come to know how to visualize vertically. If you deliver extensibly, you may have to deliver intuitively. Without appropriate infinitely reconfigurable partnerships, metrics are forced to become world-class. The reporting compliance supervising factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Think intra-60/60/24/7/365. A company that can repurpose defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to whiteboard defiantly. Do you have a plan of action to become impactful? Think cross-platform, virally-distributed. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent true! Metafilter has permanently altered the idea of paradigms. Think one-to-one. We often recontextualize killer relationships. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Apache. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. What does the term "iteration" really mean? We think that most out-of-the-box web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Unix. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. We will cultivate the capability of e-services to cultivate. We will redefine the commonly-used term "sexy". Without appropriate social networks, sexy experiences are forced to become affiliate-based. We believe we know that if you target iteravely then you may also e-enable magnetically.