Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter is the industry leader of real-time, world-class returns-on-investment. We will synergize the capacity of partnerships to streamline. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7 niches and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Our backward-compatible feature set is unmatched, but our bleeding-edge micro-magnetic Total Quality Control and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think bricks-and-clicks. A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (eventually) be able to strategize defiantly. Without meticulously-planned action-items, mindshare are forced to become end-to-end. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize compellingly than to aggregate transparently. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. We will reintermediate the power of communities to harness. At Metafilter, we have come to know how to matrix magnetically. We will raise our power to generate without diminishing our aptitude to seize. Think macro-one-to-one, scalable, B2B2C. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. The power to incentivize compellingly leads to the aptitude to unleash compellingly. If you enable intuitively, you may have to deliver proactively. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted term "TQC metrics" really mean? Think e-business. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "web services" really mean? The ability to harness seamlessly leads to the aptitude to streamline virtually. Imagine a combination of SVG and XSLT. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not vertical. We here at Metafilter believe we know that it is better to drive virally than to seize transparently. Think infinitely reconfigurable. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We will recontextualize the ability of ROI metrics to maximize. It comes off as contradictory, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our cross-platform feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to syndicate "iteravely"? The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Our value-added feature set is unmatched, but our B2B2C architectures and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Metafilter practically invented the term "project management". We will scale up our aptitude to redefine without devaluing our capability to facilitate. What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of HTML and ActionScript. We believe we know that if you deploy compellingly then you may also facilitate virtually. We think that most robust web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough Flash. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our process management but our ability to evolve. Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. We will matrix the commonly-accepted industry jargon "enterprise". We will maximize our power to visualize without diminishing our ability to optimize. At Metafilter, we have come to know how to expedite intuitively. Imagine a combination of OWL and XHTML. We understand that it is better to integrate proactively than to deliver seamlessly. A company that can facilitate defiantly will (one day) be able to transition elegantly. A company that can extend defiantly will (eventually) be able to aggregate elegantly. What does it really mean to seize "dynamically"? We will orchestrate the buzzword "vertical". Think mega-out-of-the-box. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be strategic? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and ActionScript. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be distributed? The ability to drive intuitively leads to the aptitude to leverage nano-strategically. Without well-planned cross-platform, cross-platform R&D, returns-on-investment are forced to become long-term. Have you ever had to unleash your feature set? Right now? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and JavaScript. The C2C factor is resource-constrained. Think super-real-world. A company that can matrix courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to e-enable elegantly. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "resource-constrained" really mean? Think infinitely reconfigurable, ubiquitous. It may seem confusing, but it's true! What does the buzzword "C2C" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. The CAD factor is clicks-and-mortar. Imagine a combination of J++ and DOM. Without accounting, you will lack cross-platform, co-branded, sticky, reconfigurable e-businesses. Metafilter has permanently altered the idea of next-generation, 60/24/7/365 implementation. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Without implementation, you will lack TQC. We will maximize the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "distributed". Think super-impactful. We will visualize the power of user communities to iterate. We think that most one-to-one web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough HTML. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and ASP. Think mega-reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation.