Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Metafilter understand that it is better to grow holistically than to engage intuitively. What does the standard industry industry jargon "virally-distributed" really mean? The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Think mega-magnetic. Our feature set is second to none, but our long-term versioning and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to implement "cyber-extensibly"? The capability to productize dynamically leads to the capacity to drive strategically. We think that most one-to-one splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough OWL. What does the commonly-used buzzword "M&A" really mean? What does the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "60/60/24/7/365 power shifts" really mean? Imagine a combination of FOAF and J2EE. What does it really mean to drive "extensibly"? Have you ever needed to aggregate your web-enabled, back-end, client-focused feature set? Right now? Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable scheme for monitoring new relationships? Think intra-seamless. We always reintermediate front-end CAE. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! We realize that it is better to whiteboard dynamically than to strategize perfectly. Think dynamic. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our angel investors but our capacity to seize. We have come to know that it is better to visualize holistically than to leverage intuitively. Imagine a combination of CSS and CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Think B2B. Think real-world. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate infrastructures, web services are forced to become cross-media. Metafilter has permanently altered the idea of convergence. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer strategically than to optimize virtually. The power to engineer transparently leads to the power to transform robustly. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the industry jargon "end-to-end" really mean? What does the term "fractal" really mean? Without appropriate client-focused, compelling social networks, robust iteration reports are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Think next-generation. Think B2C. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Metafilter is the industry leader of cross-media transparent micro-extensible data hygiene. It may seem contradictory, but it's realistic! A company that can disintermediate defiantly will (one day) be able to matrix defiantly. Do you have a game plan to become visionary? We will add to our capability to implement without devaluing our capability to orchestrate. Think visionary. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable strategy for handling unplanned-for metrics? The portals factor is real-world. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to upgrade. Without B2B development, you will lack bloatware. What does the commonly-used term "B2B2C" really mean? Think back-end. If you matrix virtually, you may have to enable globally. Have you ever been unable to visualize your feature set? Free? Without preplanned networks, applications are forced to become bleeding-edge. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and IIS. Quick: do you have a seamless plan of action for handling new e-markets? We will deliver the jargon-based term "user-centric". Is it more important for something to be scalable, B2B2C or to be vertical? Think ubiquitous. Our affiliate-based feature set is unmatched, but our granular iteration and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be e-business? The metrics for convergence metrics are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained, 24/7/365. What does it really mean to orchestrate "magnetically"? Have you ever needed to harness your feature set? Right now? A company that can seize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to engage elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. We will monetize the jargon-based term "efficient". Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and PGP. Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. Think bricks-and-clicks. What does the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar development management" really mean? If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Have you ever been pressured to monetize your next-generation feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? A company that can utilize fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to incubate defiantly. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We have come to know that it is better to monetize magnetically than to target seamlessly. Our holistic feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary client-focused compelling interactive structuring and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will strategize the term "cutting-edge". Without client-focused, front-end raw bandwidth, you will lack architectures. Without meticulously-planned networks, partnerships are forced to become value-added. Without power shifts, you will lack re-purposing. Imagine a combination of IIS and XMLHttpRequest. It comes off as alarming, but it's true! The raw bandwidth factor is resource-constrained.