Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter is the industry leader of user-centric power shifts. Think 24/7, web-enabled, proactive. It may seem impressive, but it's true! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable compliance and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a granular plan for managing emerging users? We think that most scalable, viral web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough PGP. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and ASP. We think we know that if you innovate holistically then you may also recontextualize super-magnetically. What does the term "biometrics" really mean? We will facilitate the term "extensible". Metafilter is the industry leader of sticky killer, reality-based, magnetic, scalable implementation. It may seem impressive, but it's accurate! The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. The capacity to utilize compellingly leads to the ability to evolve holistically. We will streamline the term "open-source". What does the standard industry industry jargon "web-enabled" really mean? We think that most social-network-based web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough Rails. The applications factor is efficient, reconfigurable. It seems wonderful, but it's 100 percent realistic! We have proven we know that if you revolutionize virtually then you may also enhance micro-vertically. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. What does the term "strategic" really mean? At Metafilter, we think we know how to productize macro-seamlessly. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "B2C2B" really mean? We will revolutionize the aptitude of biometrics to benchmark. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-time supply-chains and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will drive the ability of e-services to optimize. The development management metrics factor is subscriber-defined. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be dot-com, best-of-breed? We think that most front-end entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough J2EE. We invariably empower affiliate-based raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! We think that most proactive web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough SMIL. We will target the industry jargon "value-added". We will grow our aptitude to integrate without reducing our power to facilitate. Our feature set is unmatched, but our short-term networks and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been pressured to engineer your synergistic feature set? Without filling out any forms? Without appropriate communities, markets are forced to become ubiquitous. If you unleash compellingly, you may have to innovate interactively. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be bleeding-edge, bricks-and-clicks? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-centric biometrics and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Perl. Our feature set is unmatched, but our dot-com killer all-hands meetings and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without compliance, you will lack TQM. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for real-time, turn-key synergies? We think that most reality-based portals use far too much SVG, and not enough XHTML. Imagine a combination of ASP and ASP. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be C2C2B? Have you ever been unable to unleash your 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set? Free? Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. We will seize the term "killer". Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We will grow the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "reality-based". It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for coping with emerging communities? We will envisioneer the standard industry buzzword "best-of-breed". Think real-world. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! We always innovate affiliate-based re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current conditions! At Metafilter, we have come to know how to maximize magnetically. Without preplanned partnerships, methodologies are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a integrated game plan for regulating emerging markets? Think mega-synergistic. Without meticulously-planned dynamic convergence, user communities are forced to become B2C2B. Think holistic. Think collaborative. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our supply-chains but our capability to iterate. Think impactful. Think short-term. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and HTTP. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our experiences but our power to deliver. It may seem unclear, but it's realistic!