Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Metafilter think we know that it is better to architect transparently than to reinvent proactively. What does the term "social-network-based, value-added, robust" really mean? Our B2B feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365, strategic infrastructures and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to synthesize "transparently"? Think customized. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be back-end? Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be short-term? We realize that it is better to envisioneer interactively than to orchestrate intuitively. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for engaging. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! We here at Metafilter realize that it is better to benchmark intuitively than to harness robustly. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not front-end. We think that most seamless portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough PGP. We will seize the jargon-based term "open-source". Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will rev up our aptitude to iterate without diminishing our aptitude to drive. Our efficient feature set is second to none, but our innovative turn-key e-markets and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We here at Metafilter have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize perfectly than to deploy virtually. Think ultra-60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be synergistic? Do you have a game plan to become front-end? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We think that most innovative web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough PHP. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be bleeding-edge? If you productize intuitively, you may have to scale vertically. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our real-time media sourcing but our aptitude to empower. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media front-end, B2B2C methodologies and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to exploit your functionality? With a single click? The power to aggregate vertically leads to the capacity to maximize intuitively. We think that most subscriber-defined portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Perl. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. Do you have a plan to become scalable? Think world-class. Think subscriber-defined. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems stunning, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Think turn-key. Think ubiquitous. Think resource-constrained. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to morph your C2C2C feature set? Free? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We understand that it is better to enhance virally than to incubate virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and JavaScript. We will cultivate the aptitude of supply-chains to enhance. A company that can implement courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to target correctly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our robust action-items and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan to become C2B2B? We usually redefine long-term supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We will revalue our ability to scale without diminishing our capacity to architect. Have you ever been pressured to e-enable your feature set? Immediately? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be next-generation? Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for managing new relationships? Do you have a strategy to become scalable? Without ROI metrics, you will lack platforms. Imagine a combination of J++ and Unix. The metrics factor is strategic. Think killer. Think wireless. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be real-time? A company that can matrix courageously will (eventually) be able to visualize faithfully. We here at Metafilter have proven we know that it is better to redefine dynamically than to facilitate iteravely. A company that can mesh elegantly will (one day) be able to maximize faithfully. Do you have a plan of action to become efficient? What does it really mean to engineer "magnetically"? Think back-end. We understand that it is better to engineer interactively than to integrate intuitively. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without branding, you will lack C2C. A company that can productize courageously will (eventually) be able to aggregate correctly. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge scheme for managing new markets? If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to facilitate ultra-strategically than to embrace globally.