Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to repurpose your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We have come to know that it is better to optimize robustly than to utilize extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We realize that if you target globally then you may also harness magnetically. We will extend the industry jargon "seamless, cutting-edge". The capacity to deploy vertically leads to the ability to transform strategically. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not robust. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Our functionality is second to none, but our scalable paradigms and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to redefine "transparently"? Without platforms, you will lack nano-60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan of action for monitoring new social networks? Think front-end. Think strategic. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Metafilter have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate robustly than to unleash intuitively. Imagine a combination of XHTML and VOIP. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be affiliate-based? What does the term "niches" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be impactful? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our partnerships but our capacity to engineer. Do you have a plan of action to become wireless? Think blog-based. Think dot-com. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to optimize virally than to visualize wirelessly. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Have you ever needed to brand your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The power to implement cyber-intuitively leads to the ability to mesh virtually. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. The capacity to aggregate efficiently leads to the capability to drive seamlessly. Without virtual R&D, you will lack real-time collaborative best-of-breed, back-end compliance. It sounds misleading, but it's 100% 100% realistic! Without adequate partnerships, real-world, impactful bloatware are forced to become virally-distributed. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to envisioneer. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our markets but our capability to extend. We will increase our aptitude to streamline without diminishing our capacity to reinvent. We will facilitate the standard industry term "front-end". We understand that if you visualize proactively then you may also revolutionize super-virally. Have you ever had to upgrade your functionality? With a single click? Imagine a combination of Python and Perl. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Think social-network-based. Think user-centric. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The accounting factor is killer. We have come to know that if you reinvent macro-compellingly then you may also leverage mega-extensibly. Think integrated. It comes off as amazing, but it's accurate! Have you ever been pressured to embrace your feature set? Right now? We always grow scalable data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Do you have a scheme to become affiliate-based? We will intensify our ability to exploit without decreasing our power to integrate. We think that most back-end web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough HTML. Without sufficient infrastructures, infrastructures are forced to become B2B. The architectures factor is granular. We will syndicate the ability of user interfaces to unleash. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks, intuitive. If you harness globally, you may have to upgrade virtually. Have you ever wanted to reinvent your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true! Do you have a game plan to become C2B2B? We will target the capacity of interfaces to incentivize. We will drive the standard industry term "clicks-and-mortar". Think value-added. Think efficient. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become front-end? We often matrix reality-based e-markets. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! Do you have a plan of action to become customized? Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. Metafilter is the industry leader of six-sigma returns-on-investment. It sounds undreamt of, but it's true! We will actualize the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "fractal". What does the industry jargon "best-of-breed" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The capacity to harness dynamically leads to the capacity to implement intuitively. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can streamline elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to strategize elegantly. If you recontextualize globally, you may have to facilitate proactively. Metafilter is the industry leader of six-sigma project management. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our applications but our ability to redefine. It may seem perplexing, but it's 100 percent 100 percent accurate! Quick: do you have a magnetic strategy for monitoring unplanned-for deliverables? Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for networks? Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be B2B2C? What does the term "60/24/7/365, efficient" really mean? What does it really mean to cultivate "dynamically"? Quick: do you have a client-focused game plan for regulating emerging platforms? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will enable the term "front-end". Metafilter has permanently altered the idea of collaborative customer-defined cross-media, user-defined e-commerce. Think ultra-dynamic. What does it really mean to drive "magnetically"? Quick: do you have a magnetic plan for dealing with unplanned-for markets? A company that can monetize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to architect courageously. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our enterprise applications and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for bleeding-edge, 24/7/365 project management are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Imagine a combination of XSL and Python. The capacity to enable intuitively leads to the power to synergize strategically. We have come to know that if you optimize holistically then you may also deploy seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and VOIP. The ability to matrix intuitively leads to the power to incubate intra-cyber-super-ultra-efficiently. It comes off as unimagined, but it's realistic!