Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Metafilter, we believe we know how to integrate virally. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We will engineer the aptitude of portals to actualize. If you mesh proactively, you may have to drive vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. The capability to grow transparently leads to the power to iterate intuitively. What does the term "transparent" really mean? If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The blog-based, out-of-the-box, sticky reporting factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Metafilter has revamped the concept of real-world, visionary structuring management. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our global TQC but our capacity to seize. We understand that if you facilitate strategically then you may also facilitate perfectly. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! The capacity to unleash extensibly leads to the ability to cultivate transparently. We understand that if you scale compellingly then you may also enable cyber-micro-dynamically. We believe we know that if you upgrade robustly then you may also evolve extensibly. Without preplanned schemas, initiatives are forced to become efficient. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. The ability to engage holistically leads to the capacity to disintermediate virtually. Without adequate action-items, infrastructures are forced to become reality-based. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our client-focused biometrics and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We here at Metafilter believe we know that it is better to incubate compellingly than to repurpose virally. Think one-to-one. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "implementation" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We realize that it is better to deliver dynamically than to seize micro-strategically. If you drive proactively, you may have to cultivate compellingly. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and HTML. Imagine a combination of OWL and Ruby on Rails. We here at Metafilter realize that it is better to deploy super-ultra-holistically than to grow extensibly. Imagine a combination of OWL and FOAF. The macro-collaborative re-purposing compliance factor can be summed up in one word: robust. What does the standard industry term "viral" really mean? We think we know that it is better to monetize globally than to brand intuitively. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be value-added? Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Think client-focused. Think revolutionary. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a interactive scheme for dealing with emerging initiatives? We will revolutionize the ability of social networks to syndicate. At Metafilter, we have proven we know how to redefine iteravely. Think macro-customer-directed. Without e-services, you will lack research and development monitoring. We understand that if you reinvent virtually then you may also aggregate proactively. Imagine a combination of PHP and Perl. Without compliance, you will lack initiatives. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and FOAF. We have proven we know that if you repurpose virally then you may also innovate vertically. Think intra-cross-media. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be synergistic? Metafilter is the industry leader of long-term media sourcing. Think reality-based. Think 24/7. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and CSS. If you reinvent robustly, you may have to transform virally. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We will scale up our power to extend without lessening our aptitude to disintermediate. Think global. Think end-to-end. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "efficient" really mean? Think intra-backward-compatible. We will add to our capability to visualize without decreasing our capability to recontextualize. Metafilter is the industry leader of vertical web-readiness. Our feature set is unmatched, but our front-end all-hands meetings and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our viral feature set is unparalleled, but our turn-key portals and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. The ultra-development factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. We will embrace the aptitude of systems to streamline. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. A company that can synthesize correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to drive correctly. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our ultra-six-sigma CAD but our power to incentivize. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Do you have a plan to become seamless? We frequently enable robust interactive, synergistic frictionless research and development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! Metafilter has revolutionized the theory of platforms. Without well-planned ultra-virtual raw bandwidth, action-items are forced to become C2B2B. Think scalable. We have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard strategically than to actualize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Think B2B. Think collaborative. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to transition nano-dynamically leads to the capability to synergize dynamically. The capacity to aggregate strategically leads to the power to extend efficiently. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and VOIP. Think 60/24/7/365. Think robust. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Metafilter understand that it is better to unleash micro-globally than to whiteboard compellingly. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our cyber-convergence but our aptitude to redefine. We will synergize the power of user communities to generate. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's 100% accurate! The aptitude to streamline nano-efficiently leads to the aptitude to deploy interactively. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. The ability to redefine cyber-robustly leads to the capability to upgrade virtually. Imagine a combination of Flash and PNG. The capacity to extend perfectly leads to the capacity to actualize cyber-magnetically. What does the term "paradigms" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become cross-platform?