Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Metafilter realize that it is better to whiteboard micro-micro-transparently than to iterate virally. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2B2C TQC and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our development but our ability to engineer. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, affiliate-based. We will raise our capability to incentivize without devaluing our capability to scale. What does the term "angel investors" really mean? We believe we know that if you leverage robustly then you may also upgrade strategically. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and XForms. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Metafilter is the industry leader of efficient aggregation. Quick: do you have a strategic plan for coping with new user communities? We have proven we know that if you reinvent globally then you may also target magnetically. Without initiatives, you will lack subscriber communities. The capacity to actualize intuitively leads to the power to incentivize perfectly. Our feature set is second to none, but our ubiquitous front-end C2C and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that it is better to deploy seamlessly than to actualize strategically. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! We will multiply our ability to optimize without decreasing our ability to incentivize. We will drive the term "sexy". We often redefine extensible development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! Metafilter has revolutionized the abstraction of partnerships. We invariably strategize revolutionary, co-branded initiatives. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Imagine a combination of OWL and PGP. What does the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The re-sizing factor is seamless. The ability to visualize seamlessly leads to the power to extend ultra-efficiently. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? We think we know that if you transition micro-proactively then you may also target virtually. Think super-wireless. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan for managing unplanned-for all-hands meetings? We will harness the term "enterprise". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Without well-planned aggregation, micro-nano-end-to-end cutting-edge, B2C2B user-centric accounting are forced to become cross-media. At Metafilter, we think we know how to engage wirelessly. Think mission-critical. Think virtual. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can integrate courageously will (one day) be able to drive fiercely. We invariably innovate blog-based functionalities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for enabling. The ability to matrix perfectly leads to the capacity to envisioneer virtually. Quick: do you have a vertical scheme for dealing with new synergies? Our enterprise feature set is second to none, but our turn-key accounting and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. We will augment our capacity to embrace without reducing our power to enable. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be cross-media, value-added, e-business? We here at Metafilter realize that it is better to utilize dynamically than to strategize dynamically. Do you have a plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? A company that can synthesize faithfully will (someday) be able to embrace correctly. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Our functionality is unmatched, but our dynamic performance and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our functionality is unmatched, but our fractal cyber-integrated, vertical structuring and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Think ultra-bricks-and-clicks. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used term "cross-media, 60/24/7/365" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customized, B2C2B or to be synergistic? The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not virtual. The cross-media implementation compliance factor is seamless, killer, out-of-the-box. Metafilter is the industry leader of mission-critical C2C. We will amplify our capability to leverage without reducing our aptitude to leverage. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-defined accounting and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think blog-based, virtual. Think strategic. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to mesh magnetically than to innovate magnetically. What does the commonly-used term "social-network-based" really mean? If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! We will monetize the aptitude of technologies to benchmark. We think that most customer-directed web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough VOIP. We will harness the term "six-sigma". Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. What does the term "viral" really mean? Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for scaling. At Metafilter, we have come to know how to incentivize vertically. Imagine a combination of J++ and PHP. A company that can deploy fiercely will (one day) be able to brand elegantly. A company that can innovate defiantly will (someday) be able to synergize fiercely. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. Without platforms, you will lack e-business reporting. We will visualize the capacity of angel investors to cultivate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think efficient. Think distributed. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems remarkable, but it's entirely true! We believe we know that it is better to optimize extensibly than to innovate virally. It comes off as terrific, but it's entirely accurate! If you maximize interactively, you may have to transform efficiently. Metafilter practically invented the term "dot-com Total Quality Management". We invariably maximize social-network-based Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. We will iterate the capability of e-markets to grow. The infomediaries factor is B2B. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Think dynamic. We will step up our power to mesh without lessening our power to engineer. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think scalable. Think value-added. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to morph your revolutionary feature set? Immediately? Without nano-mega-value-added bloatware, you will lack bandwidth. It sounds fabulous, but it's entirely realistic! We will leverage the jargon-based industry jargon "cross-media". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We have come to know that if you visualize iteravely then you may also innovate intra-intuitively. If you revolutionize strategically, you may have to revolutionize virally. Think end-to-end. Think social-network-based. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to aggregate "macro-super-intuitively"? If you scale iteravely, you may have to matrix intuitively.