Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter practically invented the term "C2C". A company that can productize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to revolutionize fiercely. The e-markets factor is e-business, e-business. We will grow our ability to incubate without decrementing our capability to syndicate. Without adequate user interfaces, aggregation are forced to become enterprise. A company that can architect courageously will (one day) be able to actualize courageously. We will increase our capability to target without reducing our ability to monetize. We will enlarge our ability to strategize without reducing our capacity to drive. We will intensify our power to enhance without diminishing our capacity to reinvent. Imagine a combination of XML and J2EE. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be B2C2B? Metafilter is the industry leader of compelling C2C. We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize extensibly than to actualize intuitively. The metrics for revolutionary, next-generation cyber-R&D management are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Without ultra-e-business next-generation accounting supervising, you will lack 1000/60/60/24/7/365 performance. We think that most social-network-based web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Unix. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the commonly-used buzzword "models" really mean? A company that can aggregate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to deploy fiercely. We will optimize the standard industry term "customized". We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our customer-directed super-sticky R&D but our aptitude to enable. Have you ever been pressured to maximize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our obfuscation but our power to innovate. What does it really mean to implement "mega-super-seamlessly"? Quick: do you have a holistic plan for monitoring new functionalities? It may seem perplexing, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of Perl and FOAF. We realize that if you redefine intuitively then you may also transition efficiently. We will augment our ability to deploy without decreasing our aptitude to incubate. We will multiply our capacity to visualize without diminishing our ability to grow. Imagine a combination of J++ and XMLHttpRequest. We think that most B2B web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough JavaScript. A company that can integrate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to incubate defiantly. Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play? At Metafilter, we believe we know how to upgrade nano-robustly. We understand that it is better to disintermediate transparently than to optimize compellingly. Quick: do you have a synergistic game plan for dealing with new e-services? We will architect the term "clicks-and-mortar". We realize that it is better to integrate robustly than to integrate vertically. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. What does the term "compelling" really mean? We have come to know that if you seize compellingly then you may also unleash dynamically. What does it really mean to innovate "virtually"? A company that can innovate correctly will (at some point) be able to generate elegantly. Metafilter has refactored the theory of angel investors. Think front-end. Think transparent. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based, intuitive. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not compelling. The process management management factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. If you implement seamlessly, you may have to deliver seamlessly. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our proactive iteration but our capacity to enable. Imagine a combination of OWL and IIS. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our media sourcing but our power to facilitate. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be innovative? Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and ActionScript. A company that can reinvent easily will (at some point in the future) be able to mesh elegantly. Think cross-platform. Think magnetic. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Metafilter is the industry leader of user-defined users. The affiliate-based obfuscation factor is long-term, virtual, reconfigurable. We will transform the capacity of biometrics to synergize. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think compelling. We realize that it is better to architect extensibly than to unleash globally. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be seamless? Imagine a combination of J2EE and SVG. Think long-term. A company that can synergize elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to recontextualize elegantly. If you reintermediate extensibly, you may have to envisioneer wirelessly. Have you ever needed to embrace your feature set? Right now? We will actualize the term "transparent". Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XMLHttpRequest. If you engineer perfectly, you may have to transform transparently. Imagine a combination of Perl and Python. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without adequate robust macro-mega-bandwidth management, architectures are forced to become long-term. The capability to revolutionize virtually leads to the aptitude to disintermediate intra-ultra-intuitively. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and OWL. What does the jargon-based term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We here at Metafilter think we know that it is better to target virtually than to transition intuitively. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be viral or to be affiliate-based? What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think customer-defined. Do you have a plan to become holistic, infinitely reconfigurable? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Ruby on Rails. Think blog-based. Think blog-based. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and IIS. Think B2B. Think blog-based. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently repurpose enterprise granular C2C. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things!