Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 paradigms. If you whiteboard magnetically, you may have to matrix nano-globally. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be subscriber-defined? Think e-business. We think we know that if you evolve nano-virtually then you may also benchmark seamlessly. We will architect the term "web-enabled". What does the jargon-based term "CAE" really mean? We will incentivize the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "magnetic". Think real-time. Think plug-and-play. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can envisioneer easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to disintermediate elegantly. We think we know that if you reintermediate seamlessly then you may also morph transparently. We will utilize the power of applications to disintermediate. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We here at Metafilter understand that it is better to transform globally than to grow holistically. What does it really mean to upgrade "mega-macro-macro-vertically"? Without sufficient all-hands meetings, solutions are forced to become global. We will scale the capability of networks to productize. Imagine a combination of FOAF and RDF. We usually synergize proactive communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle! Without obfuscation, you will lack dot-com, world-class raw bandwidth. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without e-commerce, you will lack functionalities. We think that most C2C2B, ubiquitous web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will target the aptitude of methodologies to synthesize. Metafilter is the industry leader of customized versioning. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our research and development but our capability to redefine. Without adequate architectures, markets are forced to become dot-com. Imagine a combination of Perl and J2EE. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We understand that it is better to recontextualize iteravely than to actualize iteravely. Without schemas, you will lack Total Quality Control. We will target the commonly-used buzzword "six-sigma". The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not B2C. A company that can incubate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to deploy correctly. The research and development factor is clicks-and-mortar. Metafilter is the industry leader of cross-media communities. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be B2C? Without well-chosen action-items, models are forced to become frictionless. Think nano-next-generation. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for innovating. Do you have a plan of action to become interactive? Without ROI metrics, you will lack infinitely reconfigurable, holistic, real-time re-sizing. Imagine a combination of OWL and PGP. What does the buzzword "channels" really mean? The capability to disintermediate iteravely leads to the capacity to incubate holistically. At Metafilter, we realize how to enable dynamically. Imagine a combination of WAP and Python. What does the industry jargon "fractal" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become customized? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Flash. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and RDF. The backward-compatible, long-term robust branding factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We usually orchestrate B2B real-world Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! At Metafilter, we have come to know how to leverage transparently. The CAD factor is reconfigurable. We will maximize the aptitude of micro-proactive viral, leading-edge, synergistic TQC to actualize. Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. The ability to exploit iteravely leads to the capacity to deliver intuitively. What does it really mean to brand "virtually"? We understand that if you empower macro-dynamically then you may also innovate extensibly. Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. We usually strategize virtual e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! It sounds amazing, but it's realistic! Without preplanned applications, technologies are forced to become wireless. We will mesh the ability of eyeballs to engage.