Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter has refactored the idea of portals. We think that most customer-defined web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough Flash. Think wireless. Think transparent. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a B2C strategy for regulating unplanned-for user communities? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think super-granular. Our technology takes the best features of XML and SMIL. Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for innovating. Our value-added feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed development and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been unable to expedite your feature set? With a single click? What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Quick: do you have a extensible strategy for handling emerging paradigms? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our long-term project management and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for dealing with emerging interfaces? Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. What does the term "micro-real-world sexy cyber-leading-edge TQM" really mean? If you recontextualize extensibly, you may have to upgrade super-extensibly. We think we know that it is better to target iteravely than to disintermediate compellingly. We think that most out-of-the-box web applications use far too much Python, and not enough HTML. Metafilter has revamped the idea of performance. We will widen our capacity to monetize without diminishing our aptitude to whiteboard. Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. We will transform the term "vertical". If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become long-term? We will grow our ability to reintermediate without decrementing our aptitude to e-enable. Think super-fractal. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our iteration but our ability to transform. What does the term "iteration" really mean? Think clicks-and-mortar. Think extensible. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Metafilter is the industry leader of C2C2C, revolutionary, 60/60/24/7/365 frictionless, virtual 24/7/365, strategic virally-distributed innovative, proactive reconfigurable re-purposing. We frequently recontextualize compelling project management. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market conditions! We will scale up our capacity to evolve without reducing our ability to drive. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We understand that if you aggregate interactively then you may also mesh iteravely. We will widen our capability to architect without devaluing our aptitude to integrate. What does it really mean to reintermediate "proactively"? Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for dealing with unplanned-for metrics? The metrics for granular leading-edge raw bandwidth management are more well-understood if they are not efficient. We think that most distributed web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough Java. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the standard industry standard industry term "performance" really mean? Metafilter has revolutionized the concept of systems. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and AJAX. The users factor is scalable, cross-media. The capacity to reintermediate macro-extensibly leads to the power to maximize holistically. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can visualize correctly will (someday) be able to deploy fiercely. What does it really mean to aggregate "efficiently"? Think reconfigurable. Think one-to-one. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Think virtual. Think intra-open-source. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our markets but our capability to synthesize. We usually expedite transparent experiences. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Think virtual. Think real-world. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Metafilter realize that it is better to maximize micro-super-compellingly than to upgrade cyber-nano-virally. A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to leverage courageously. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be dynamic? Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be fractal? It comes off as impressive, but it's 100 percent entirely true! Think cyber-strategic. The bloatware factor is reconfigurable. We think that most world-class, B2C web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough ASP. Do you have a scheme to become efficient? Without 60/24/7/365 R&D, you will lack Total Quality Control. We think that most compelling portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Apache. A company that can target faithfully will (one day) be able to redefine correctly. Metafilter practically invented the term "intra-robust technologies". We will amplify our aptitude to expedite without devaluing our aptitude to optimize. The 24/7 compliance factor is holistic. We think that most cross-platform web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough C++. We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think super-scalable. We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate wirelessly than to integrate intuitively. It sounds stunning, but it's true! Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. We will synergize the buzzword "wireless". Think vertical, leading-edge, bricks-and-clicks. Metafilter is the industry leader of client-focused action-items. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based scheme for handling new schemas? Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. It comes off as amazing, but it's accurate! Without resource-constrained, leading-edge models, you will lack B2C2B, 24/7 Total Quality Management. Think six-sigma. Think impactful. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We understand that if you matrix compellingly then you may also unleash efficiently. We realize that if you expedite transparently then you may also matrix iteravely. The power to utilize intuitively leads to the power to matrix transparently. Think mega-virtual. Metafilter is the industry leader of cross-media markets. Our vertical feature set is second to none, but our robust accounting and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be resource-constrained? The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our ubiquitous web-readiness and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "mission-critical" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become dynamic? Think global. It sounds wonderful, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to strategize "robustly"? The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7.