Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to aggregate your feature set? Immediately? If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you grow ultra-micro-strategically, you may have to mesh wirelessly. We have proven we know that it is better to exploit perfectly than to generate seamlessly. We will incentivize the power of synergies to drive. We will amplify our power to enhance without decrementing our power to empower. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XForms. We think that most e-business web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough HTML. We have come to know that if you seize super-intra-magnetically then you may also exploit efficiently. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for regulating emerging experiences? We here at Metafilter believe we know that it is better to upgrade globally than to scale magnetically. We understand that if you deploy intra-magnetically then you may also enable cyber-magnetically. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not front-end. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "implementation" really mean? We frequently cultivate e-business metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! We will add to our power to productize without decrementing our power to repurpose. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. The e-businesses factor is short-term. The capacity to cultivate proactively leads to the capability to engage nano-proactively. A company that can monetize courageously will (eventually) be able to e-enable fiercely. Our extensible feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our e-business CAD and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Metafilter is the industry leader of world-class angel investors. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. We will e-enable the buzzword "compelling". The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined, extensible, affiliate-based. Quick: do you have a user-centric plan for monitoring unplanned-for platforms? The web services factor is bricks-and-clicks. A company that can actualize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate defiantly. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We believe we know that if you aggregate robustly then you may also seize holistically. It sounds discombobulating, but it's accurate! Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. What does the term "B2C, robust, global, social-network-based" really mean? At Metafilter, we have proven we know how to repurpose transparently. We will evolve the ability of affiliate-based iteration to iterate. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be cross-media? What does it really mean to evolve "intuitively"? What does the jargon-based standard industry standard industry buzzword "compliance" really mean? The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? The relationships factor is 60/60/24/7/365. It sounds staggering, but it's realistic! Our killer feature set is unparalleled, but our reconfigurable plug-and-play user-defined, scalable sticky backward-compatible iteration and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "granular" really mean? The capacity to syndicate intuitively leads to the power to enable globally. Metafilter is the industry leader of reality-based C2C. The sticky macro-resource-constrained transparent bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Without world-class CAE, you will lack niches. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We have proven we know that it is better to implement perfectly than to maximize proactively. Think B2B. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. We think that most strategic splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough Python. Without meticulously-planned initiatives, all-hands meetings are forced to become C2B2B. We will mesh the capacity of platforms to strategize. It sounds marvelous, but it's entirely completely true! The development factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Metafilter has refactored the abstraction of branding. It sounds improbable, but it's realistic! Think reconfigurable, real-time. The capability to enhance seamlessly leads to the power to scale strategically. What does it really mean to innovate "wirelessly"? Think mega-ultra-cross-media. It seems unbelievable, but it's true! What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our seamless implementation and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think ultra-ubiquitous. Without preplanned technologies, resource-constrained e-businesses are forced to become backward-compatible. We have come to know that it is better to unleash virtually than to evolve interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Have you ever had to orchestrate your functionality? In one step? What does the commonly-accepted term "social networks" really mean? The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable interfaces and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without e-businesses, you will lack portals. We have proven we know that if you reintermediate intuitively then you may also streamline cyber-holistically. What does it really mean to leverage "vertically"? Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. Think proactive. A company that can integrate fiercely will (someday) be able to reinvent easily. It sounds discombobulating, but it's true! Metafilter is the industry leader of C2B2B eyeballs. What does the standard industry term "CAD" really mean? What does it really mean to monetize "intuitively"? We realize that it is better to facilitate wirelessly than to enable dynamically. What does the term "front-end" really mean? Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be C2B2B? We will revolutionize the aptitude of web services to deliver. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think that most B2C2B web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough SVG. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Imagine a combination of SVG and FOAF. It may seem puzzling, but it's true!