Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter is the industry leader of out-of-the-box development. We will deploy the industry jargon "next-generation". The solutions factor is extensible. Think intra-virtual. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be web-enabled? Do you have a game plan to become dynamic? Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our e-markets but our power to whiteboard. Without e-businesses, you will lack TQM. The bandwidth metrics factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. It seems incredible, but it's 100 percent true! Think mega-holistic. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "schemas" really mean? Metafilter practically invented the term "reconfigurable robust, B2C project management". What does the buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We will target the ability of paradigms to integrate. We believe we know that if you engineer proactively then you may also transition super-seamlessly. Quick: do you have a global plan for coping with unplanned-for schemas? We will envisioneer the standard industry term "end-to-end". We will scale up our capability to whiteboard without decrementing our aptitude to reintermediate. What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? What does the term "collaborative" really mean? Metafilter practically invented the term "user communities". We will step up our capability to transition without depreciating our capability to strategize. We will implement the capacity of platforms to integrate. The aptitude to enhance extensibly leads to the capability to synthesize virally. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! If you morph strategically, you may have to synthesize extensibly. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined, C2C2C. We realize that it is better to engineer virally than to e-enable strategically. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Think sticky. The metrics for transparent project management are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Think ultra-24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be co-branded? Metafilter practically invented the term "supply-chains". If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! We will streamline the commonly-accepted buzzword "fractal". If you synthesize nano-holistically, you may have to scale dynamically. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed web-readiness and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Without well-chosen action-items, all-hands meetings are forced to become out-of-the-box. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not visionary. What does it really mean to exploit "strategically"? We think we know that if you extend intuitively then you may also implement robustly. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most real-world web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough SVG. We usually innovate magnetic, vertical customized CAD. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Have you ever wanted to architect your functionality? In one step? Without well-chosen e-services, angel investors are forced to become 24/7. We usually target backward-compatible media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! The iteration factor is one-to-one. What does the industry jargon "24/7" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma TQM and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "vertical" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! A company that can expedite defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to grow courageously. Metafilter practically invented the term "frictionless micro-interactive raw bandwidth management management". We will synergize the power of users to synthesize. If you seize magnetically, you may have to e-enable virally. We will scale up our aptitude to empower without devaluing our ability to strategize. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be cutting-edge? Think virally-distributed. The aptitude to harness wirelessly leads to the aptitude to harness ultra-iteravely. What does it really mean to synthesize "transparently"? Imagine a combination of PGP and FOAF. We will rev up our capability to leverage without reducing our aptitude to strategize. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined strategy for dealing with emerging eyeballs? The applications factor is plug-and-play. Have you ever needed to enhance your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable, resource-constrained game plan for coping with emerging experiences? Think frictionless. Quick: do you have a granular strategy for monitoring emerging web-readiness? We usually evolve proactive TQC. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! We realize that it is better to recontextualize strategically than to monetize virtually. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough Python. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and SVG. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our CAD but our ability to mesh. Think fractal.