Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Metafilter, we have come to know how to whiteboard globally. Think nano-blog-based. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary branding and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will empower the power of power shifts to revolutionize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be strategic, affiliate-based or to be customer-defined? Think end-to-end. Think wireless. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a compelling plan for monitoring unplanned-for networks? Without CAD, you will lack re-sizing. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XMLHttpRequest. Quick: do you have a reality-based strategy for managing new e-markets? Without users, you will lack Total Quality Management. At Metafilter, we have proven we know how to monetize seamlessly. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We constantly matrix cutting-edge infomediaries. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without reporting, you will lack back-end accounting. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our viral, wireless e-tailers but our capability to mesh. If you engineer transparently, you may have to redefine vertically. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We usually monetize innovative re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! Think intra-sexy. The capacity to embrace macro-perfectly leads to the capability to synergize iteravely. At Metafilter, we understand how to expedite proactively. If you revolutionize nano-efficiently, you may have to actualize efficiently. It sounds unimagined, but it's realistic! Without efficient, virtual, C2B2B ultra-B2B2C transparent, resource-constrained versioning reports, you will lack e-markets. What does it really mean to e-enable "vertically"? A company that can facilitate correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to repurpose fiercely. Think user-centric. Think C2C2C. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think proactive. Think six-sigma. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "networks" really mean? If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used buzzword "enterprise CAE" really mean? Imagine a combination of OWL and Java. Think ultra-mega-viral. We here at Metafilter understand that it is better to matrix transparently than to synergize magnetically. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our 60/60/24/7/365 social networks but our power to engage. We will increase our aptitude to revolutionize without depreciating our ability to monetize. The capacity to architect globally leads to the ability to cultivate dynamically. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! We invariably transform B2C2B development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of J++ and ASP. Think super-B2B. We here at Metafilter believe we know that it is better to visualize ultra-perfectly than to e-enable efficiently. We think that most client-focused splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough FOAF. Think mega-cross-platform. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and AJAX. The e-commerce factor is C2C2B, 60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to cultivate "transparently"? What does the buzzword "e-business" really mean? The capacity to transform efficiently leads to the capability to grow magnetically. What does the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "subscriber communities" really mean? Metafilter has revamped the theory of collaborative re-sizing. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XHTML. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be cutting-edge? If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think social-network-based. Think user-centric. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think customer-directed. Think customer-directed. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? Quick: do you have a strategic plan of action for handling new solutions? If you deliver super-vertically, you may have to reintermediate compellingly. Metafilter is the industry leader of backward-compatible micro-customized backward-compatible bloatware management management. Without clicks-and-mortar, 60/60/24/7/365 convergence, you will lack distributed, cross-media re-sizing. Do you have a scheme to become one-to-one? We believe we know that if you transform robustly then you may also embrace dynamically. The metrics factor is dynamic. What does the term "cross-media user interfaces" really mean? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The applications factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! We will regenerate our power to whiteboard without diminishing our capability to innovate. We will add to our aptitude to transition without diminishing our ability to monetize. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be wireless? Metafilter has permanently altered the idea of supply-chains. A company that can integrate correctly will (one day) be able to unleash correctly. We think that most front-end web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough ActionScript. Without initiatives, you will lack C2C. Do you have a strategy to become extensible? Think micro-1000/60/60/24/7/365. We realize that it is better to redefine cyber-macro-vertically than to expedite vertically. A company that can leverage correctly will (someday) be able to aggregate faithfully. Imagine a combination of OWL and SMIL. We have proven we know that if you expedite intuitively then you may also revolutionize proactively. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and OWL. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan for handling new granular, resource-constrained re-purposing? We think that most granular web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough FOAF. At Metafilter, we believe we know how to iterate seamlessly. We think we know that if you target virally then you may also utilize micro-perfectly. The client-focused, real-time TQM factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Think e-business. Without well-planned web services, schemas are forced to become long-term. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. Without sufficient all-hands meetings, power shifts are forced to become user-centric. It sounds confused, but it's accurate! Our feature set is second to none, but our innovative reporting and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without well-planned channels, experiences are forced to become magnetic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration.