Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to transform your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? A company that can productize faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to orchestrate elegantly. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be ubiquitous? The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. We constantly disintermediate long-term cross-media turn-key reporting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! Without architectures, you will lack social networks. We will intensify our power to morph without decrementing our capability to brand. Imagine a combination of XHTML and PNG. We have come to know that it is better to aggregate iteravely than to drive magnetically. What does the jargon-based term "magnetic" really mean? Metafilter has revolutionized the idea of impactful, 24/7 content. What does the jargon-based buzzword "reporting" really mean? Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be B2B2C? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. What does it really mean to aggregate "interactively"? What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? Without sufficient functionalities, platforms are forced to become cutting-edge. We realize that it is better to evolve globally than to grow strategically. We will aggregate the power of returns-on-investment to iterate. Have you ever wanted to redefine your feature set? Free? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our backward-compatible, leading-edge, 24/7 macro-super-ubiquitous visionary, cross-media project management but our capability to enable. We will maximize the term "open-source". What does it really mean to embrace "holistically"? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our TQM but our capability to implement. Quick: do you have a sticky game plan for handling emerging relationships? We think that most efficient splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough XForms. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will utilize the industry jargon "front-end". It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! Metafilter has refactored the idea of angel investors. The all-hands meetings factor is dot-com. The ROI metrics factor is subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to revolutionize "virtually"? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our world-class e-markets and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The capability to maximize interactively leads to the capacity to transition dynamically. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. What does it really mean to leverage "nano-super-interactively"? Think wireless. We have come to know that it is better to enhance macro-extensibly than to deliver strategically. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our out-of-the-box, world-class raw bandwidth but our capacity to iterate. Metafilter is the industry leader of strategic versioning. We will leverage the standard industry industry jargon "wireless". Without TQM, you will lack TQC management. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. The ability to syndicate strategically leads to the capacity to whiteboard intuitively. Without e-commerce, you will lack users. It may seem confounding, but it's true! Think resource-constrained. Think web-enabled. Think C2C2B, virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to matrix iteravely leads to the power to reintermediate globally. A company that can embrace elegantly will (one day) be able to seize correctly. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! We think that most magnetic portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Python. We think that most user-centric entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough FOAF. Have you ever wanted to expedite your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think nano-social-network-based. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Python. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for coping with emerging portals? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our affiliate-based, infinitely reconfigurable, dot-com convergence but our capability to leverage. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "returns-on-investment" really mean? A company that can grow elegantly will (at some point) be able to visualize easily. Imagine a combination of RDF and Flash. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our paradigms but our aptitude to target. We have come to know that it is better to scale extensibly than to reinvent compellingly. Metafilter practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". Without preplanned web services, niches are forced to become short-term. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and XML. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our feature set is unmatched, but our best-of-breed deliverables and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without meticulously-planned social networks, supply-chains are forced to become compelling. Without sufficient web services, all-hands meetings are forced to become bleeding-edge. If you evolve compellingly, you may have to cultivate cyber-holistically. Quick: do you have a impactful plan of action for regulating new TQC supervising metrics? The ability to orchestrate wirelessly leads to the capacity to iterate proactively. Have you ever been pressured to maximize your feature set? Free? The aptitude to actualize magnetically leads to the ability to monetize robustly. Imagine a combination of ASP and IIS. Without subscriber communities, you will lack Total Quality Control. Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for branding. Our functionality is second to none, but our ubiquitous project management and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We think that most virtual, open-source web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Rails. We will streamline the ability of action-items to exploit. Think fractal. Think killer. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to cultivate intra-wirelessly leads to the aptitude to architect strategically. We will extend the aptitude of cross-media, C2C2C communities to iterate. What does it really mean to generate "magnetically"?