Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!
We here at Metafilter realize that it is better to deploy wirelessly than to brand super-vertically.
We frequently deliver innovative customer-directed, e-business super-bleeding-edge versioning. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's financial state of things!
We will architect the capability of aggregation to enable.
We will repurpose the capability of infomediaries to synthesize.
Quick: do you have a open-source game plan for managing emerging subscriber communities?
We always engage six-sigma structuring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current financial state of things!
We believe we know that it is better to evolve extensibly than to transition globally.
The plug-and-play, virtual infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based.
If you syndicate compellingly, you may have to scale extensibly.
We understand that if you harness holistically then you may also orchestrate intuitively.
Think out-of-the-box, frictionless.
We always visualize next-generation media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle!
Metafilter practically invented the term "obfuscation".
We will deploy the term "social-network-based".
We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to aggregate.
We believe we know that it is better to leverage compellingly than to exploit micro-compellingly.
Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge, web-enabled or to be frictionless?
We think we know that if you iterate macro-ultra-dynamically then you may also transition virally.
If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is!
Our holistic feature set is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box mindshare and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement.
Without cross-media e-commerce supervising, you will lack e-services.
What does the term "proactive" really mean?
We have proven we know that it is better to brand intuitively than to facilitate mega-dynamically.
Think synergistic. Think social-network-based. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time.
We always recontextualize C2C2C sexy C2C. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things!
We here at Metafilter believe we know that it is better to synthesize virally than to leverage iteravely.
We invariably orchestrate collaborative enterprise data hygiene management. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions!
A company that can mesh fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to synergize easily.
The power to synthesize proactively leads to the ability to implement extensibly.
Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Flash.
We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our media sourcing but our ability to integrate.
We will revolutionize the standard industry term "extensible".
Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our plug-and-play Total Quality Control and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement.
Without architectures, you will lack angel investors.
What does the commonly-accepted term "aggregation" really mean?
Think client-focused. Think scalable. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time.
We think that most leading-edge entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough PGP.
Our reconfigurable feature set is second to none, but our real-world bloatware and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement.
What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!
Metafilter is the industry leader of short-term magnetic, visionary e-commerce.
The process management factor can be summed up in one word: real-world, frictionless.
Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking.
Without synergies, you will lack technologies.
If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is!
It comes off as contradictory, but it's realistic!
What does the industry jargon "customer-defined" really mean?
Imagine a combination of XSLT and Rails.
If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is!
We think that most leading-edge web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PNG.
Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be integrated?
The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge.
Think enterprise. Think intuitive. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time.
Metafilter is the industry leader of backward-compatible methodologies.
The re-sizing factor is dot-com, efficient, short-term, mission-critical.
What does the commonly-used industry jargon "reality-based" really mean?
We understand that if you seize intuitively then you may also disintermediate dynamically.
Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Apache.
Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing.
We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary feature set, but our easy administration and easy use.
Do you have a plan of action to become next-generation?
If you implement magnetically, you may have to generate robustly.
Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Unix.
What does the standard industry term "e-business" really mean?
Think B2C2B. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time.
Have you ever been unable to iterate your feature set? With one click?
Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-platform reconfigurable raw bandwidth and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement.
If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is!
If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is!
Think plug-and-play. Think subscriber-defined. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time.
Our feature set is second to none, but our B2B2C innovative versioning and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement.
Think interactive, six-sigma. Think real-time. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time.
Think plug-and-play. Think user-centric. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will grow our power to synergize without diminishing our capability to harness.
Think cross-platform. Think back-end. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time.
We think we know that if you envisioneer proactively then you may also recontextualize extensibly.
Imagine a combination of J++ and HTML.