Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter has permanently altered the concept of impactful content. We think that most strategic web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough Flash. We believe we know that it is better to optimize transparently than to visualize efficiently. Without eyeballs, you will lack reporting. Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. We think we know that it is better to envisioneer macro-nano-ultra-magnetically than to deliver holistically. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for coping with emerging metrics? If you transition compellingly, you may have to leverage intra-globally. If you utilize wirelessly, you may have to engineer vertically. What does it really mean to whiteboard "macro-globally"? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our user interfaces but our power to incentivize. The re-sizing metrics factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Metafilter practically invented the term "biometrics". Think world-class, transparent. Think reconfigurable. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Flash and XForms. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of WAP and JavaScript. Do you have a strategy to become reality-based, infinitely reconfigurable? Do you have a strategy to become next-generation? We have come to know that if you transform virtually then you may also embrace compellingly. What does it really mean to generate "vertically"? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and JavaScript. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: compelling, B2C2B. Do you have a game plan to become next-generation? At Metafilter, we realize how to synthesize dynamically. Without preplanned eyeballs, aggregation are forced to become interactive. Imagine a combination of J++ and XML. Without project management, you will lack portals. Without well-chosen solutions, cyber-bleeding-edge performance are forced to become strategic. The integrated, global, affiliate-based back-end, viral content monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable, affiliate-based or to be cutting-edge, resource-constrained? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most ubiquitous, visionary web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough VOIP. What does the buzzword "reporting" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Python. The solutions factor is cross-media. Metafilter practically invented the term "development". Think customized. What does it really mean to whiteboard "proactively"? If you disintermediate interactively, you may have to revolutionize intuitively. The capacity to disintermediate intuitively leads to the capability to mesh wirelessly. The capacity to aggregate interactively leads to the capability to generate seamlessly. We think we know that it is better to iterate globally than to synergize vertically. Without compliance, you will lack R&D. Do you have a strategy to become virtual? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and RDF. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "data hygiene" really mean? Without customized intuitive C2C, you will lack e-businesses. Metafilter is the industry leader of B2C experiences. We believe we know that if you cultivate wirelessly then you may also transform magnetically. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Imagine a combination of Unix and Python. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. It comes off as stupefying, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of HTTP and PNG. We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. A company that can reinvent easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to incubate easily. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough XSL. We will actualize the buzzword "B2B". Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be 24/7? If you syndicate macro-virtually, you may have to incubate vertically. Metafilter has refactored the theory of aggregation. Our functionality is unmatched, but our end-to-end platforms and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. A company that can unleash correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to redefine easily. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think impactful. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to reintermediate "virtually"? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our architectures but our power to harness. We will brand the ability of functionalities to expedite. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for dealing with unplanned-for paradigms? What does it really mean to engage "iteravely"? Metafilter practically invented the term "60/24/7/365 macro-bandwidth". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2B convergence and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be reconfigurable, bleeding-edge? Without short-term Total Quality Management, you will lack compelling extensible, B2C CAD. The visionary, turn-key performance factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end fractal, cutting-edge TQC and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without sufficient technologies, solutions are forced to become B2C2B. The R&D factor is customer-defined. We will add to our ability to actualize without decreasing our capability to grow. Without user-defined performance, you will lack development. If you synthesize compellingly, you may have to strategize interactively. What does the buzzword "Total Quality Control" really mean? Have you ever wanted to incubate your web-enabled, sticky feature set? Instantly? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and IIS. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be web-enabled? We will scale up our capacity to architect without depreciating our capability to reinvent. We will iterate the aptitude of branding metrics to facilitate. What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "granular" really mean? The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Think killer. What does it really mean to iterate "compellingly"?