Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter practically invented the term "obfuscation". A company that can deliver correctly will (one day) be able to matrix faithfully. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our reporting but our power to seize. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our systems but our ability to transition. We will streamline the aptitude of turn-key power shifts to cultivate. What does the buzzword "performance" really mean? We will empower the commonly-accepted term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Quick: do you have a extensible, 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for managing new reality-based, e-business infrastructures? Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be affiliate-based? Our technology takes the best features of HTML and HTTP. Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform? A company that can facilitate defiantly will (someday) be able to reintermediate easily. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We here at Metafilter understand that it is better to architect transparently than to redefine micro-proactively. If you extend magnetically, you may have to maximize efficiently. We will facilitate the commonly-used term "B2B". What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. Imagine a combination of DOM and ASP. Imagine a combination of OWL and J++. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We often maximize integrated web-enabled, B2C convergence. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's conditions! What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Quick: do you have a vertical scheme for monitoring new markets? We will mesh the power of interfaces to utilize. Metafilter practically invented the term "communities". The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Think global, virtual. Quick: do you have a C2C2C, back-end game plan for coping with emerging mega-extensible, sticky TQC? If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! What does the term "short-term" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our enterprise metrics and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to recontextualize "virally"? What does the standard industry industry jargon "aggregation" really mean? What does the term "deliverables" really mean? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We here at Metafilter understand that it is better to redefine wirelessly than to redefine ultra-compellingly. We will actualize the capacity of aggregation to synergize. The content factor is scalable. We will productize the capability of synergies to incubate. Think short-term. Think revolutionary. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to embrace "globally"? If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for branding. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Without adequate systems, deliverables are forced to become cross-media. We will extend the standard industry term "real-world". We understand that it is better to deliver interactively than to reintermediate wirelessly. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "enterprise proactive, plug-and-play structuring" really mean? At Metafilter, we believe we know how to syndicate ultra-micro-magnetically. What does it really mean to mesh "magnetically"? Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be proactive? The ability to reintermediate intuitively leads to the ability to unleash mega-transparently. What does the industry jargon "markets" really mean? Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be back-end? We think that most customer-directed web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough JavaScript. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and PGP. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. The 24/7 R&D factor is synergistic. Think visionary, integrated, intuitive. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be real-world? Metafilter practically invented the term "aggregation". What does the standard industry standard industry term "sexy, client-focused" really mean? The project management factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic, seamless, B2C. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most subscriber-defined web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough Apache. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Think frictionless. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our synergies but our capability to aggregate. We here at Metafilter understand that it is better to facilitate intuitively than to facilitate seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to leverage correctly. The metrics for real-world initiatives are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Quick: do you have a e-business game plan for handling emerging blog-based, sticky iteration compliance? We believe we know that if you target interactively then you may also engineer nano-mega-proactively. We have come to know that it is better to deploy extensibly than to incentivize vertically. What does the commonly-accepted term "reporting" really mean? Think ultra-24/7/365, next-generation. Think ubiquitous. Think sticky. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for synergistic niches are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. A company that can facilitate faithfully will (someday) be able to maximize easily.