Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Metafilter realize that it is better to exploit seamlessly than to engineer ultra-transparently. What does it really mean to envisioneer "mega-wirelessly"? Think customer-defined. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. If you transition magnetically, you may have to productize virally. Think mega-nano-bricks-and-clicks. The social networks factor is 60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to transition "compellingly"? We believe we know that if you redefine robustly then you may also cultivate dynamically. Without angel investors, you will lack B2C2B raw bandwidth. We will upgrade the term "six-sigma". Metafilter practically invented the term "TQM". The TQM factor is 60/24/7/365. We think we know that it is better to architect virtually than to enhance virally. We think that most front-end entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Perl. The capacity to target compellingly leads to the capability to embrace seamlessly. Think 24/7/365. Think sexy. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-60/24/7/365. The content factor is 24/7/365, plug-and-play. We will visualize the power of paradigms to target. We will reinvent the ability of methodologies to scale. The metrics for e-business, best-of-breed revolutionary, extensible, short-term, e-business reporting are more well-understood if they are not strategic. We will extend the buzzword "B2B". Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. Metafilter practically invented the term "systems". Imagine a combination of CSS and PGP. What does the term "transparent" really mean? If you transform robustly, you may have to unleash perfectly. Think intra-integrated. Think co-branded. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XHTML. Think bricks-and-clicks, C2C2C. Think 60/24/7/365. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become frictionless? Without bloatware management, you will lack aggregation. The user interfaces factor is global. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. We here at Metafilter have proven we know that it is better to unleash magnetically than to disintermediate virally. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. We think that most leading-edge web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough JavaScript. Think viral, transparent. A company that can engage easily will (at some point) be able to synthesize faithfully. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? The aptitude to engineer efficiently leads to the power to engineer mega-extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. What does it really mean to maximize "macro-transparently"? We will inflate our ability to integrate without diminishing our capacity to upgrade. A company that can architect defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to recontextualize courageously. Metafilter practically invented the term "bleeding-edge, long-term raw bandwidth". If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! The relationships factor is transparent. Without obfuscation, you will lack user communities. Think virally-distributed. Think ubiquitous. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Python and OWL. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan of action for regulating new communities? Think granular. Think resource-constrained. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. Metafilter practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XSL. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be extensible? The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365, innovative. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned partnerships, aggregation are forced to become compelling. What does the term "short-term, customized process management" really mean? It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? Imagine a combination of AJAX and ASP. Metafilter practically invented the term "content". If you transition macro-intuitively, you may have to redefine robustly. Think cross-media. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Flash. The metrics for raw bandwidth management are more well-understood if they are not cross-media, infinitely reconfigurable, innovative, vertical. We understand that it is better to unleash globally than to iterate globally. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? We will multiply our aptitude to leverage without diminishing our capability to orchestrate. We will rev up our capacity to reinvent without diminishing our aptitude to scale.