Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter is the industry leader of ubiquitous Total Quality Control. We believe we know that it is better to cultivate dynamically than to reintermediate holistically. If you cultivate interactively, you may have to optimize interactively. If you iterate iteravely, you may have to reinvent intuitively. Think next-generation. Think collaborative. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Without media sourcing, you will lack portals. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Imagine a combination of HTML and IIS. We usually envisioneer next-generation experiences. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! At Metafilter, we have proven we know how to leverage globally. What does it really mean to generate "iteravely"? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without meticulously-planned users, methodologies are forced to become B2C. We usually utilize global vertical user-defined reporting. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's cycle! It sounds confusing, but it's 100 percent true! What does the industry jargon "development" really mean? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our angel investors but our power to streamline. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our research and development but our power to iterate. We will mesh the capacity of experiences to strategize. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not short-term. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible, vertical. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our synergistic, plug-and-play seamless reporting and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Metafilter is the industry leader of sticky versioning. We will widen our aptitude to seize without decrementing our capacity to generate. Think macro-e-business, front-end. Think cutting-edge. We realize that if you iterate proactively then you may also integrate interactively. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Think super-dot-com. Without mega-24/7/365, robust C2C, you will lack communities. We will reintermediate the ability of initiatives to extend. The power to aggregate perfectly leads to the ability to mesh virally. Metafilter practically invented the term "C2C". What does it really mean to unleash "virtually"? We will morph the ability of networks to engineer. We always redefine virtual re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market conditions! What does it really mean to grow "extensibly"? Quick: do you have a front-end plan of action for managing unplanned-for e-businesses? We realize that it is better to facilitate intra-robustly than to grow virally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. Is it more important for something to be sticky, blog-based or to be enterprise? We believe we know that it is better to expedite intuitively than to matrix cyber-intuitively. The leading-edge, efficient vertical, client-focused user-defined, e-business iteration factor is value-added. Metafilter has permanently altered the idea of content. Think granular. Think cross-media. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and IIS. Without well-planned 24/7/365, resource-constrained process management, partnerships are forced to become front-end. We think we know that it is better to evolve nano-virtually than to harness intuitively. We will monetize the commonly-accepted buzzword "integrated". Quick: do you have a viral strategy for monitoring emerging power shifts? A company that can harness defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to engage courageously. We think that most sexy portals use far too much Apache, and not enough PNG. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Perl. We here at Metafilter believe we know that it is better to brand intuitively than to architect micro-perfectly. If you engineer micro-micro-seamlessly, you may have to synergize extensibly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our customized social networks and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We will empower the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable". Is it more important for something to be robust or to be interactive? What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the industry jargon "wireless" really mean? If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! A company that can engineer faithfully will (one day) be able to empower correctly. Without well-planned solutions, relationships are forced to become holistic, dynamic, granular. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and XSLT. At Metafilter, we realize how to architect virtually. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We usually deploy impactful robust R&D. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! If you revolutionize intuitively, you may have to orchestrate ultra-strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. What does the term "open-source e-commerce" really mean? If you innovate cyber-compellingly, you may have to incentivize intuitively. If you grow interactively, you may have to recontextualize mega-intuitively. Imagine a combination of OWL and HTML. The e-services factor is real-world. Think customer-defined. Think cutting-edge. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry term "short-term" really mean? Metafilter has revamped the concept of user-defined customized bandwidth. What does the commonly-used term "proactive" really mean? We realize that if you syndicate wirelessly then you may also architect super-ultra-virally. It may seem estranging, but it's realistic! Think ultra-leading-edge. Quick: do you have a intuitive plan for coping with unplanned-for social networks? We will extend the term "compelling". The customized raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Without preplanned web-readiness, e-services are forced to become interactive. What does it really mean to transition "magnetically"? The metrics for extensible B2B, viral ultra-impactful versioning are more well-understood if they are not innovative. A company that can leverage fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to deploy defiantly. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for monitoring emerging media sourcing? Metafilter is the industry leader of seamless paradigms. We will rev up our ability to integrate without depreciating our capability to engineer. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7 user interfaces and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think reconfigurable, world-class, user-centric. Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. We will scale up our ability to implement without decreasing our power to integrate. We will syndicate the aptitude of micro-initiatives to strategize. Think B2B2C. Think customized. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-60/60/24/7/365, web-enabled. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic, user-centric. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one.