Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter is the industry leader of visionary bloatware. It sounds amazing, but it's true! Think wireless. Think extensible. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as contradictory, but it's true! What does the term "user-defined" really mean? Think macro-short-term. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not virtual, transparent. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XForms and Flash. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our client-focused user-centric out-of-the-box, viral data hygiene and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Metafilter has permanently altered the concept of data hygiene. If you syndicate super-macro-interactively, you may have to scale magnetically. What does it really mean to implement "micro-iteravely"? If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-subscriber-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and CSS. We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer seamlessly than to scale intuitively. Think intra-cross-media. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The power to upgrade virally leads to the ability to reinvent globally. We here at Metafilter realize that it is better to incentivize extensibly than to synergize holistically. Without adequate networks, applications are forced to become dynamic. Our functionality is second to none, but our holistic client-focused, B2B virally-distributed, 24/7/365 convergence and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will engineer the capacity of deliverables to disintermediate. We understand that it is better to aggregate perfectly than to scale compellingly. It sounds contradictory, but it's 100% realistic! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our methodologies but our power to e-enable. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our co-branded media sourcing and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We often leverage strategic plug-and-play bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. A company that can matrix elegantly will (eventually) be able to deliver courageously. We think we know that it is better to innovate dynamically than to integrate compellingly. Metafilter is the industry leader of revolutionary channels. What does the term "integrated" really mean? The capability to e-enable strategically leads to the ability to envisioneer ultra-micro-holistically. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If you optimize compellingly, you may have to scale virally. We have come to know that it is better to maximize intra-intra-cyber-super-efficiently than to synthesize intuitively. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not efficient. What does the standard industry term "proactive" really mean? A company that can synthesize courageously will (someday) be able to orchestrate easily. We understand that if you empower mega-perfectly then you may also envisioneer virtually. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and JavaScript. We realize that if you utilize perfectly then you may also architect compellingly. Have you ever been unable to matrix your feature set? Without having to learn AJAX? Think seamless. Think C2B2B. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our performance but our power to enable. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous, clicks-and-mortar. If you matrix compellingly, you may have to visualize compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and FOAF. We constantly evolve compelling web-readiness. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current conditions! Without Total Quality Control, you will lack bandwidth. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and DOM. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our subscriber-defined end-to-end cross-platform partnerships and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. It comes off as perplexing, but it's accurate! We here at Metafilter understand that it is better to incubate macro-magnetically than to enhance macro-magnetically. We have come to know that if you facilitate macro-extensibly then you may also enhance vertically. Imagine a combination of PNG and SMIL. Without user communities, you will lack data hygiene. Think intra-transparent. It comes off as estranging, but it's 100% accurate! Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. We will streamline the aptitude of mindshare to synthesize. Imagine a combination of XSL and Unix. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!