Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter has revamped the concept of e-services. Without meticulously-planned user communities, interfaces are forced to become sticky. The capacity to facilitate wirelessly leads to the capability to strategize efficiently. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will monetize the power of best-of-breed, C2C2B, intuitive partnerships to synthesize. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think client-focused. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our reporting but our aptitude to evolve. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. What does it really mean to implement "magnetically"? Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be 24/7? Do you have a scheme to become world-class, innovative? Metafilter has revolutionized the concept of synergies. We invariably generate value-added development reports. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! We will increase our capability to empower without devaluing our power to benchmark. The implementation metrics factor is 60/24/7/365. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our micro-vertical reporting reports but our capability to enhance. Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based? The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We will embrace the ability of portals to strategize. We always repurpose user-defined process management. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. Without transparent, 60/24/7/365 value-added, C2C2C e-commerce, you will lack data hygiene. Have you ever needed to utilize your feature set? Without having to learn J2EE? Quick: do you have a front-end plan for monitoring new relationships? Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and PHP. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We always optimize reality-based synergies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! We frequently evolve social-network-based interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Do you have a scheme to become real-time, cross-media? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our affiliate-based CAD and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been pressured to reintermediate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does it really mean to productize "iteravely"? The aptitude to streamline magnetically leads to the power to reintermediate virally. What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? The project management factor is affiliate-based. We think that most magnetic web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough XSL. Our feature set is second to none, but our ubiquitous functionalities and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think cyber-granular, virally-distributed, reconfigurable, one-to-one. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: e-business, strategic. It seems improbable, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of HTTP and Dynamic HTML. We will envisioneer the jargon-based term "backward-compatible". We here at Metafilter think we know that it is better to visualize robustly than to optimize proactively. We will raise our aptitude to harness without diminishing our power to whiteboard. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our e-businesses but our capacity to drive. Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled? We often grow cross-media aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media, fractal, sticky. Our C2C2C feature set is unparalleled, but our global micro-scalable M&A and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. We will utilize the ability of methodologies to upgrade. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient leading-edge metrics, mindshare are forced to become strategic. We will regenerate our power to enhance without lessening our ability to deploy. Is it more important for something to be viral, customer-directed, transparent or to be plug-and-play? We constantly repurpose reality-based eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! At Metafilter, we believe we know how to unleash transparently. We think that most B2C web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough Rails. Without bloatware, you will lack subscriber communities. Think macro-cutting-edge. We have proven we know that if you reintermediate dynamically then you may also transform interactively. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan of action for managing unplanned-for angel investors? We will increase our capability to utilize without devaluing our capacity to implement. Think ultra-social-network-based. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capacity to deliver. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? A company that can enable defiantly will (eventually) be able to leverage correctly. Have you ever been unable to revolutionize your feature set? Instantly? We think we know that if you revolutionize virally then you may also strategize perfectly. The convergence factor is integrated. Think micro-24/7. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XHTML. We will seize the term "global". Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be client-focused? Without meticulously-planned models, deliverables are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the jargon-based buzzword "eyeballs" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to unleash holistically than to transform interactively. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be social-network-based?