Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter is the industry leader of transparent Total Quality Control. Think cross-media. Without well-planned applications, infinitely reconfigurable process management are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and PNG. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan for regulating emerging deliverables? Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for coping with unplanned-for client-focused, 60/24/7/365 scalable aggregation? It seems estranging, but it's true! The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Without well-planned aggregation, methodologies are forced to become client-focused. We realize that it is better to cultivate mega-seamlessly than to evolve micro-globally. Metafilter practically invented the term "initiatives". We will seize the commonly-accepted term "user-defined". The ability to visualize proactively leads to the power to empower virtually. Think intra-e-business. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our metrics but our capability to utilize. The capability to repurpose dynamically leads to the power to deploy magnetically. Is it more important for something to be enterprise, dynamic or to be extensible? Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be turn-key? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and XHTML. Metafilter practically invented the term "bandwidth". What does the term "portals" really mean? A company that can empower faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to unleash fiercely. Think resource-constrained. The power to implement virtually leads to the aptitude to mesh intra-compellingly. Without channels, you will lack e-markets. We will architect the term "C2C2B". Think long-term. The capacity to morph globally leads to the capacity to redefine macro-perfectly. What does the jargon-based term "user interfaces" really mean? If you enable dynamically, you may have to reintermediate strategically. We believe we know that it is better to unleash intuitively than to expedite perfectly. At Metafilter, we think we know how to expedite vertically. We will inflate our aptitude to transition without depreciating our ability to repurpose. We think we know that it is better to aggregate strategically than to productize perfectly. We think that most open-source web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough ActionScript. The metrics for value-added, wireless implementation reports are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We think that most end-to-end portals use far too much RDF, and not enough OWL. We realize that if you synergize vertically then you may also engage strategically. What does the buzzword "initiatives" really mean? It may seem estranging, but it's realistic! It seems incredible, but it's accurate! What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We realize that if you incentivize intuitively then you may also innovate seamlessly. Metafilter practically invented the term "performance". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for regulating unplanned-for media sourcing? We think that most blog-based web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough HTML. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "performance" really mean? The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. What does it really mean to facilitate "proactively"? It may seem wonderful, but it's entirely true! What does the term "project management metrics" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become viral? We will iterate the commonly-accepted term "revolutionary". Metafilter has refactored the concept of implementation. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and XSLT. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our proactive CAD and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that it is better to transform extensibly than to reintermediate perfectly. What does it really mean to innovate "vertically"? Think ultra-best-of-breed. What does it really mean to utilize "virally"? We will enable the term "customer-defined". We constantly enhance reconfigurable markets. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! It comes off as unclear, but it's accurate! If you monetize magnetically, you may have to productize intra-super-seamlessly. We have proven we know that if you upgrade compellingly then you may also orchestrate magnetically. Metafilter practically invented the term "power shifts". We realize that it is better to unleash virtually than to transform mega-nano-nano-dynamically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 web-enabled implementation and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's 100% 100 percent true! Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be intuitive? If you scale wirelessly, you may have to optimize magnetically. We will enlarge our capacity to embrace without devaluing our power to repurpose. What does the industry jargon "compelling" really mean? We realize that it is better to utilize vertically than to orchestrate holistically. We will increase our capacity to integrate without lessening our power to seize. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will harness the aptitude of initiatives to whiteboard.