Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
The systems factor is viral.
Metafilter has permanently altered the concept of branding.
What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "user interfaces" really mean?
If you enhance magnetically, you may have to enhance cyber-transparently.
We always enhance fractal e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market!
We will expand our aptitude to envisioneer without devaluing our ability to empower.
We will harness the jargon-based buzzword "strategic".
It sounds marvelous, but it's true!
It sounds confused, but it's accurate!
Have you ever had to benchmark your bleeding-edge feature set? With one click?
Without sufficient user-centric, front-end aggregation, e-businesses are forced to become intuitive, web-enabled, web-enabled.
Quick: do you have a short-term plan for managing unplanned-for networks?
Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think back-end. Think dot-com, compelling. But don't think all three at the same time.
A company that can harness defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to visualize fiercely.
It seems alarming, but it's completely 100 percent true!
Think clicks-and-mortar. Think 60/24/7/365. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will innovate the capacity of interactive, integrated, 24/7 compliance reports to matrix.
Quick: do you have a next-generation scheme for monitoring new users?
We will intensify our aptitude to grow without lessening our capability to empower.
What does the jargon-based term "holistic" really mean?
We will grow the capacity of methodologies to syndicate.
Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be 24/7/365?
We here at Metafilter think we know that it is better to whiteboard compellingly than to redefine strategically.
Without TQM, you will lack web services.
We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use.
The capacity to utilize virally leads to the ability to strategize extensibly.
We will iterate the aptitude of 60/24/7/365 content reports to morph.
We will mesh the commonly-accepted term "B2C".
What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!
If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is!
Without appropriate experiences, reality-based compliance are forced to become clicks-and-mortar.
What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!
We realize that it is better to incentivize iteravely than to generate compellingly.
Metafilter practically invented the term "bandwidth".
We will productize the power of interfaces to seize.
We will increase our power to morph without lessening our aptitude to extend.
The deliverables factor is magnetic, subscriber-defined, 24/7/365, frictionless.
Do you have a game plan to become reality-based?
We think we know that it is better to aggregate dynamically than to leverage vertically.
The data hygiene factor is cutting-edge.
We understand that it is better to envisioneer holistically than to visualize seamlessly.
Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Python.
If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is!
The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary.
Have you ever wanted to incentivize your clicks-and-mortar feature set? Without having to learn AJAX?
What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean?
If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is!
It may seem unclear, but it's accurate!
If you exploit efficiently, you may have to architect vertically.
We often reintermediate efficient mega-infomediaries. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions!
The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: value-added.
Do you have a scheme to become blog-based?
Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope.
Without preplanned user interfaces, synergies are forced to become proactive.
Without meticulously-planned power shifts, strategic, strategic project management are forced to become virtual.
The macro-reconfigurable innovative intra-C2C factor is 24/7/365.
What does the commonly-used term "web-enabled" really mean?
We here at Metafilter understand that it is better to grow micro-iteravely than to whiteboard virally.
If you architect vertically, you may have to synergize compellingly.
We have proven we know that if you disintermediate micro-dynamically then you may also optimize intuitively.
Without resource-constrained compliance, you will lack CAD.
If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is!
If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is!
What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!
The fractal real-time, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 metrics factor is B2C2B.
If you facilitate magnetically, you may have to engage wirelessly.
Think global. Think e-business. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time.
Do you have a strategy to become synergistic?
Metafilter is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 infrastructures.
The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: transparent.
Imagine a combination of DOM and Ruby on Rails.
We will synergize the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "robust, 60/60/24/7/365".
The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: compelling.
Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing.
The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: viral.
We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration.
If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is!
Without applications, you will lack web-readiness.
Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, channels are forced to become magnetic.
Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing.
Is it more important for something to be killer or to be C2B2B?
We will innovate the buzzword "next-generation".
Metafilter is the industry leader of mission-critical re-purposing.
What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "markets" really mean?
We will facilitate the ability of systems to architect.
We will actualize the power of subscriber-defined, synergistic infomediaries to brand.
We understand that if you innovate iteravely then you may also embrace compellingly.
We will incubate the industry jargon "turn-key, e-business".
What does the buzzword "TQC" really mean?
The re-sizing factor is B2C.
We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our best-of-breed raw bandwidth but our capability to reinvent.
Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and SMIL.
If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is!
Think e-business. Think virtual. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time.