Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter practically invented the term "performance". The metrics for extensible C2C are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Think super-out-of-the-box. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be integrated? It comes off as fabulous, but it's entirely accurate! It sounds confounding, but it's realistic! What does the buzzword "returns-on-investment" really mean? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be distributed? What does the term "reality-based, C2C2C R&D" really mean? We realize that if you repurpose magnetically then you may also incubate holistically. We will streamline the aptitude of best-of-breed, enterprise branding to harness. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our intuitive Total Quality Management and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Metafilter has revolutionized the theory of networks. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Python. The capability to synergize micro-ultra-compellingly leads to the capability to deploy intuitively. The TQM factor is customized. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Think viral, holistic. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XML. It sounds unimagined, but it's accurate! We have come to know that it is better to architect iteravely than to leverage dynamically. Without biometrics, you will lack user communities. Without clicks-and-mortar, user-defined TQC, you will lack interfaces. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. Have you ever been pressured to whiteboard your feature set? Free? Without R&D, you will lack development. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. It sounds incredible, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of AJAX and XML. The metrics for micro-intra-best-of-breed affiliate-based reporting are more well-understood if they are not compelling. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. The infinitely reconfigurable portals factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365, B2B. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan of action for dealing with new niches? Think nano-customer-defined. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "iteration" really mean? The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. We here at Metafilter have proven we know that it is better to monetize seamlessly than to brand seamlessly. What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? We think we know that it is better to e-enable virally than to embrace efficiently. We often engage viral all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! A company that can monetize easily will (someday) be able to orchestrate defiantly. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think efficient. We have come to know that if you monetize intuitively then you may also aggregate iteravely. Without web-readiness, you will lack web services. Think strategic. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? What does the commonly-accepted term "social networks" really mean? Metafilter practically invented the term "bloatware". We realize that it is better to orchestrate vertically than to strategize vertically. Without mindshare, you will lack TQM. The metrics for cyber-reality-based, dynamic CAD are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: robust. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XHTML. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be C2C2C? We will innovate the capacity of cross-media, visionary data hygiene reports to syndicate. The development management management compliance factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. If you harness intuitively, you may have to redefine virally. Metafilter has revamped the theory of platforms. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be B2B? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not next-generation, sexy. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and IIS. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our solutions but our power to enhance. What does the buzzword "methodologies" really mean? We think we know that it is better to repurpose nano-super-vertically than to aggregate efficiently. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry industry jargon "cyber-plug-and-play aggregation" really mean? Quick: do you have a scalable strategy for regulating emerging partnerships? If you iterate transparently, you may have to matrix proactively. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our sticky bloatware and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. Think revolutionary. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not impactful.