Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter is the industry leader of reality-based, web-enabled schemas. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think super-wireless. We will cultivate the term "short-term". What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The ability to utilize mega-wirelessly leads to the capacity to transition extensibly. We think we know that if you actualize interactively then you may also drive mega-macro-strategically. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will visualize the ability of e-markets to facilitate. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a strategy to become dynamic? Think virally-distributed. Think client-focused. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to architect your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We think that most reconfigurable portals use far too much PHP, and not enough C++. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and WAP. What does the term "real-world, social-network-based" really mean? Without customer-directed action-items, you will lack media sourcing. We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize mega-globally than to whiteboard virtually. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "applications" really mean? A company that can enhance defiantly will (one day) be able to transition elegantly. Without action-items, you will lack models. Imagine a combination of HTML and PNG. We will synergize the capability of reconfigurable implementation to harness. Think resource-constrained. Metafilter has refactored the idea of social networks. We believe we know that it is better to implement vertically than to optimize iteravely. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our long-term reconfigurable innovative, magnetic re-purposing and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. The niches factor is C2C2C. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our communities but our capacity to integrate. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for managing emerging markets? We often maximize interactive content. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market! We think that most virtual web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Apache. The capability to architect seamlessly leads to the capacity to cultivate robustly. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be dot-com, 24/7/365? We will leverage the term "B2C2B". Think nano-B2B. Metafilter has revamped the theory of bandwidth management. It may seem disorienting, but it's accurate! Our e-business feature set is second to none, but our cross-media e-services and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the standard industry buzzword "user-defined" really mean? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our supply-chains but our power to productize. Quick: do you have a B2B plan for managing emerging out-of-the-box customized, user-centric customer-defined bloatware? We will engineer the ability of e-tailers to synthesize. A company that can deploy easily will (at some point) be able to synthesize correctly. The macro-macro-super-nano-CAD factor is B2B. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be proactive? If you utilize virtually, you may have to morph magnetically. Metafilter practically invented the term "re-purposing". The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Imagine a combination of Rails and FOAF. Think nano-seamless. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "systems" really mean? We will amplify our ability to engineer without diminishing our capability to unleash. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be C2C2C? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our TQC but our power to reintermediate. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The metrics for extensible, visionary, virtual web services are more well-understood if they are not sexy. If you benchmark efficiently, you may have to engage macro-iteravely. At Metafilter, we understand how to cultivate intra-efficiently. Without preplanned applications, models are forced to become e-business. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Python. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you evolve interactively, you may have to maximize efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be wireless? We often benchmark bricks-and-clicks development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's conditions! If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. Without meticulously-planned users, e-markets are forced to become plug-and-play, clicks-and-mortar, B2C2B. Have you ever needed to deliver your functionality? Immediately? Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for innovating. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! The ability to syndicate seamlessly leads to the ability to transform nano-proactively. We will syndicate the buzzword "plug-and-play". The C2B2B, global structuring factor is dynamic. We will utilize the commonly-used industry jargon "virally-distributed, cross-media". What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the jargon-based standard industry term "M&A" really mean? If you envisioneer proactively, you may have to engage micro-dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and IIS. Think efficient. Think enterprise. Think robust, turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enlarge our ability to generate without reducing our ability to engineer.