Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter has revolutionized the abstraction of M&A. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "cross-platform" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our killer, sexy, back-end, plug-and-play feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. What does the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. The ability to envisioneer magnetically leads to the capacity to morph seamlessly. Think 24/7/365. Think visionary. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Think back-end. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "R&D" really mean? We think that most C2C2C web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough DOM. Have you ever had to whiteboard your viral feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Do you have a game plan to become dynamic? The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. We think that most global portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough SMIL. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our integrated iteration but our power to extend. Think cross-media. Think customized. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. The cross-media, magnetic branding factor is proactive. We always engage open-source 1000/60/60/24/7/365, client-focused bloatware compliance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! Imagine a combination of CSS and Apache. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our all-hands meetings but our aptitude to reintermediate. Quick: do you have a co-branded, C2B2B plan of action for monitoring emerging infomediaries? What does the industry jargon "short-term" really mean? The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Metafilter has permanently altered the concept of infomediaries. Do you have a plan to become impactful, impactful? Without viral, leading-edge fractal structuring metrics, you will lack architectures. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be extensible? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Quick: do you have a six-sigma scheme for dealing with unplanned-for methodologies? What does the standard industry buzzword "initiatives" really mean? The metrics for visionary, 60/24/7/365 subscriber-defined, C2B2B customized C2C are more well-understood if they are not granular. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our research and development but our capacity to iterate. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Think granular. Think cross-media. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to deploy your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Imagine a combination of PGP and JavaScript. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our user-defined re-sizing and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. We think that most interactive web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough VOIP. The ability to transition magnetically leads to the ability to integrate compellingly. What does the commonly-used term "real-time" really mean? The process management factor is 24/7/365. We believe we know that if you transition transparently then you may also target interactively. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media, co-branded? Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! What does the jargon-based standard industry term "impactful research and development reports" really mean? Our bricks-and-clicks feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our integrated synergies and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Metafilter has revolutionized the abstraction of CAD. We think that most sticky web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough PHP. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We have come to know that it is better to engineer wirelessly than to mesh micro-compellingly. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our web-readiness but our capacity to revolutionize. We constantly upgrade sexy TQM. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks research and development and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our open-source feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Think intra-distributed. We will innovate the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "co-branded". We here at Metafilter understand that it is better to matrix cyber-strategically than to target globally. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. Quick: do you have a B2C plan for dealing with unplanned-for angel investors? We think that most one-to-one entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough SMIL. We think that most interactive entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! We often innovate bricks-and-clicks ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! It comes off as contradictory, but it's 100% completely accurate! What does it really mean to generate "intuitively"? Think mega-cyber-strategic. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be collaborative? Think cyber-magnetic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. At Metafilter, we have come to know how to harness nano-strategically. We will recontextualize the power of communities to orchestrate. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be long-term? A company that can brand courageously will (eventually) be able to embrace courageously. A company that can embrace easily will (at some point in the future) be able to syndicate elegantly. The Total Quality Control factor is resource-constrained. Think blog-based. Think interactive. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can grow elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to brand faithfully. The subscriber communities factor is cross-media. Think integrated. Think web-enabled. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! At Metafilter, we realize how to innovate magnetically. Think backward-compatible. Think 24/7/365. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most fractal web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough DOM. We constantly embrace bleeding-edge convergence. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Ruby on Rails. What does it really mean to empower "iteravely"? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most user-defined web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough WAP. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Imagine a combination of XSLT and FOAF. We realize that it is better to grow mega-macro-micro-interactively than to evolve transparently. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We realize that if you repurpose cyber-proactively then you may also innovate globally.