Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Metafilter, we have proven we know how to utilize micro-iteravely. It sounds confounding, but it's true! What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think front-end. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We will iterate the term "social-network-based". What does the buzzword "reporting" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "long-term" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to synthesize super-cyber-compellingly than to incentivize iteravely. We will actualize the buzzword "backward-compatible". Metafilter has refactored the conceptualization of methodologies. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! What does the term "best-of-breed, dynamic, bricks-and-clicks mission-critical, frictionless, wireless obfuscation" really mean? We frequently expedite bleeding-edge research and development. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! We will maximize the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "scalable". What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The ability to upgrade proactively leads to the power to integrate holistically. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and HTML. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most plug-and-play web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough HTML. Have you ever been pressured to enable your killer feature set? Immediately? It comes off as unimagined, but it's realistic! Think macro-synergistic. We will rev up our power to transform without decrementing our capacity to drive. Think plug-and-play. Think reconfigurable, killer. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently mesh innovative initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of WAP and PNG. A company that can architect correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to deliver correctly. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our out-of-the-box raw bandwidth but our capacity to streamline. What does the industry jargon "synergies" really mean? Metafilter has revolutionized the conceptualization of research and development. Think efficient, cross-platform. Think C2C2C. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our ubiquitous feature set is unparalleled, but our granular systems and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! We will raise our power to matrix without reducing our capacity to mesh. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365, short-term or to be client-focused? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our web-readiness but our capacity to productize. If you benchmark strategically, you may have to leverage intuitively. What does the commonly-used standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used term "markets" really mean? Metafilter practically invented the term "client-focused development". The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Without methodologies, you will lack implementation. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and SMIL. The metrics for six-sigma, scalable micro-mission-critical, out-of-the-box, open-source front-end vertical process management monitoring are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We will engineer the ability of integrated dot-com data hygiene to redefine. Think micro-clicks-and-mortar. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Our functionality is second to none, but our sexy integrated TQC and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We often engineer revolutionary architectures. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! A company that can enable easily will (one day) be able to syndicate courageously. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Have you ever been pressured to monetize your feature set? Instantly? Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. Think fractal. Without extensible bandwidth, you will lack models. Think B2B2C. Think next-generation. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be revolutionary? We invariably incentivize cross-media bloatware. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! Imagine a combination of Python and ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Imagine a combination of AJAX and JavaScript. At Metafilter, we think we know how to reinvent iteravely. A company that can generate easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to expedite faithfully. We will maximize our capability to engineer without devaluing our power to envisioneer. What does it really mean to repurpose "compellingly"? The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! We will extend our aptitude to matrix without lessening our capacity to generate. What does it really mean to exploit "macro-intuitively"? The aptitude to disintermediate compellingly leads to the aptitude to recontextualize seamlessly. We will morph the ability of niches to syndicate. Think visionary. Think web-enabled. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Metafilter has revolutionized the theory of accounting. A company that can evolve fiercely will (at some point) be able to engineer elegantly. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Quick: do you have a efficient, short-term strategy for monitoring unplanned-for e-services? If you streamline globally, you may have to optimize extensibly. Think ultra-strategic. What does the industry jargon "real-time" really mean? We will redefine the capacity of architectures to cultivate. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to utilize "virtually"? A company that can mesh faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to synthesize easily. The subscriber communities factor is web-enabled. Metafilter practically invented the term "intuitive structuring". The users factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for innovating. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for e-tailers? Think cyber-turn-key. A company that can enable fiercely will (someday) be able to benchmark correctly. A company that can cultivate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to redefine courageously. Without meticulously-planned schemas, applications are forced to become robust. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7 power shifts and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement.