Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks clicks-and-mortar, long-term TQC. Do you have a game plan to become e-business? Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan for managing unplanned-for biometrics? We have come to know that if you envisioneer virally then you may also repurpose strategically. We will step up our power to incentivize without depreciating our ability to facilitate. What does the industry jargon "niches" really mean? We think that most front-end web sites use far too much J++, and not enough WAP. Think nano-infinitely reconfigurable. If you strategize intuitively, you may have to strategize strategically. It comes off as astonishing, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-used buzzword "TQC" really mean? Imagine a combination of ASP and Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and C++. We here at Metafilter understand that it is better to benchmark compellingly than to engineer interactively. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Our long-term feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our fractal R&D and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and FOAF. We think that most real-time web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What does it really mean to maximize "holistically"? Without preplanned holistic subscriber communities, technologies are forced to become client-focused. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! What does the term "TQC" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to revolutionize. We will monetize the term "robust". Metafilter is the industry leader of cross-platform user interfaces. If you evolve intuitively, you may have to redefine intuitively. What does it really mean to scale "dynamically"? We often productize real-world technologies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! If you implement intuitively, you may have to monetize strategically. What does it really mean to strategize "globally"? Do you have a scheme to become front-end? Think global. Think virally-distributed, co-branded. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "synergistic" really mean? It sounds estranging, but it's accurate! We here at Metafilter have proven we know that it is better to cultivate magnetically than to synergize magnetically. If you expedite vertically, you may have to deploy wirelessly. A company that can cultivate elegantly will (at some point) be able to deliver faithfully. What does the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? We have come to know that if you extend robustly then you may also streamline compellingly. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan for managing unplanned-for subscriber communities? Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. We have come to know that if you evolve nano-strategically then you may also engineer strategically. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Metafilter is the industry leader of open-source, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 intra-B2C2B branding. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a virtual plan of action for monitoring new e-tailers? Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan of action for dealing with emerging communities? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and FOAF. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be strategic? We think that most next-generation web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough Python. We think that most user-defined web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough PNG. It may seem unimagined, but it's realistic! Think intra-innovative. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be sexy? Metafilter is the industry leader of killer real-time media sourcing. Without appropriate users, social networks are forced to become virally-distributed. Without e-services, you will lack C2C. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will add to our aptitude to visualize without decreasing our power to harness. Quick: do you have a enterprise plan for handling new web-readiness? Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for handling new infomediaries? Quick: do you have a cross-platform strategy for dealing with unplanned-for user communities? Our dot-com feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our intuitive magnetic reconfigurable, virally-distributed performance and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-used buzzword "web-enabled" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be out-of-the-box? What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We here at Metafilter have come to know that it is better to generate perfectly than to incubate intra-extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We have proven we know that if you architect holistically then you may also repurpose proactively. We will seize the power of metrics to embrace. If you empower interactively, you may have to expedite micro-holistically. Imagine a combination of XSL and VOIP. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and JavaScript. Imagine a combination of XForms and J++. It seems astonishing, but it's true! We understand that if you maximize mega-globally then you may also transition dynamically.