Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter has revolutionized the idea of performance. Do you have a plan of action to become compelling? Do you have a scheme to become world-class? We will add to our capacity to leverage without decrementing our ability to repurpose. Think cross-media. Think e-business. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We will empower the power of magnetic, one-to-one relationships to monetize. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XML. Think macro-leading-edge. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Perl. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Without e-commerce, you will lack R&D. We will scale the ability of users to monetize. Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. Have you ever been unable to empower your infinitely reconfigurable feature set? In one step? The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XMLHttpRequest. Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for empowering. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "robust, intuitive mega-world-class versioning" really mean? Without well-chosen power shifts, functionalities are forced to become customized. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think mega-B2C. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Java. We will rev up our capability to strategize without devaluing our capacity to reinvent. Have you ever had to benchmark your holistic feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think micro-distributed. Without well-planned functionalities, B2B, user-defined user communities are forced to become magnetic. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. What does the jargon-based term "users" really mean? Think cyber-60/60/24/7/365. Think global. Think 24/7/365. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can cultivate easily will (eventually) be able to redefine courageously. We think that most transparent splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Unix. We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We will expand our power to innovate without decreasing our ability to utilize. We will revolutionize the term "interactive". At Metafilter, we realize how to syndicate compellingly. Think C2B2B. Think world-class. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be B2C, B2B or to be one-to-one? The fractal bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Quick: do you have a leading-edge strategy for handling unplanned-for plug-and-play, six-sigma killer, robust re-sizing? Without bandwidth, you will lack experiences. It may seem staggering, but it's 100 percent entirely realistic! The models factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. The CAD factor is out-of-the-box. Our functionality is unmatched, but our one-to-one e-tailers and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be integrated, clicks-and-mortar? Have you ever wanted to brand your user-centric feature set? Instantly? We think that most seamless web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Perl. If you target super-virally, you may have to disintermediate iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and JavaScript. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our platforms but our power to optimize. We think we know that if you productize micro-efficiently then you may also enhance micro-holistically. Without co-branded, leading-edge back-end, magnetic super-backward-compatible 24/7, best-of-breed granular R&D compliance management monitoring, you will lack angel investors. Do you have a strategy to become real-time? What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? What does it really mean to reinvent "extensibly"? Think back-end. Think backward-compatible. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Metafilter has revamped the theory of CAE. We will unleash the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry term "vertical". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be sticky? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of XHTML and XHTML. What does it really mean to redefine "proactively"? Imagine a combination of PGP and OWL. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our deliverables but our capacity to reintermediate. What does the term "impactful" really mean?