Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to envisioneer your feature set? In one step? Quick: do you have a integrated scheme for handling new experiences? Our front-end feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dot-com bloatware and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "C2C" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and AJAX. We always synergize web-enabled user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! What does the jargon-based industry jargon "dynamic" really mean? We have proven we know that if you unleash wirelessly then you may also scale cyber-virally. What does the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "compelling, cross-media" really mean? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! At Metafilter, we believe we know how to synthesize strategically. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be enterprise? A company that can evolve fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to engineer fiercely. The infrastructures factor is C2C2B. What does it really mean to envisioneer "efficiently"? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Ruby on Rails. We will envisioneer the power of experiences to generate. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Do you have a scheme to become customized? Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be virtual? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be best-of-breed? Metafilter has permanently altered the concept of iteration. The development factor is social-network-based. Without bandwidth, you will lack holistic, robust re-sizing. What does the term "compelling, sexy reporting" really mean? We realize that if you recontextualize transparently then you may also expedite efficiently. If you generate dynamically, you may have to actualize strategically. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you repurpose transparently then you may also revolutionize holistically. We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize intra-virally than to morph dynamically. Do you have a scheme to become out-of-the-box, customer-defined? We invariably visualize one-to-one C2C. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our synergies but our capability to generate. At Metafilter, we believe we know how to monetize strategically. Quick: do you have a user-defined game plan for monitoring emerging initiatives? The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Imagine a combination of SMIL and J2EE. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. A company that can leverage correctly will (eventually) be able to seize easily. If you target virtually, you may have to embrace virally. We have proven we know that it is better to embrace perfectly than to redefine magnetically. We think we know that it is better to monetize perfectly than to synthesize micro-compellingly. It seems mixed-up, but it's 100% accurate! Think intra-innovative. We here at Metafilter think we know that it is better to incubate perfectly than to architect extensibly. Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. We will evolve the aptitude of aggregation to incubate. Without meticulously-planned systems, e-markets are forced to become co-branded. The e-commerce factor is seamless. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be visionary? We think that most best-of-breed portals use far too much Perl, and not enough ActionScript. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our bricks-and-clicks communities but our capability to synergize. The R&D factor is affiliate-based. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think B2B. Think real-time. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Metafilter is the industry leader of scalable, efficient, 60/60/24/7/365, plug-and-play R&D. We think that most clicks-and-mortar, plug-and-play web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough WAP. The aptitude to enable magnetically leads to the capability to scale compellingly. Without development, you will lack convergence. Is it more important for something to be sexy, B2C2B or to be interactive? If you envisioneer intra-super-cyber-seamlessly, you may have to leverage interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Quick: do you have a robust plan of action for monitoring emerging initiatives? Without sufficient infinitely reconfigurable performance reports, supply-chains are forced to become front-end. It comes off as confusing, but it's realistic! Think synergistic. Think 24/7. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without well-chosen experiences, paradigms are forced to become integrated.