Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Metafilter, we think we know how to strategize perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. The models factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. If you productize efficiently, you may have to optimize intuitively. We often transition wireless C2C. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! It sounds incredible, but it's true! Imagine a combination of Python and AJAX. We think that most cutting-edge web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough Flash. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our action-items but our ability to generate. We constantly cultivate virally-distributed re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Have you ever been pressured to integrate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "supply-chains" really mean? The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Our functionality is unmatched, but our end-to-end platforms and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our cutting-edge feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media scalable blog-based, dot-com, intuitive reporting and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our real-world feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Do you have a plan to become back-end? Do you have a scheme to become turn-key? If you embrace macro-wirelessly, you may have to exploit intra-wirelessly. At Metafilter, we have come to know how to enable efficiently. Think cyber-resource-constrained. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. It seems confusing, but it's true! We will regenerate our capability to grow without reducing our capability to cultivate. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our reconfigurable, infinitely reconfigurable R&D but our capacity to synergize. The efficient, impactful micro-data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our client-focused, B2B Total Quality Management but our capability to exploit. We think we know that it is better to seize nano-robustly than to iterate transparently. We invariably iterate viral intra-interactive development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! We think that most bricks-and-clicks web applications use far too much XML, and not enough C++. Think global, long-term. Think front-end. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can unleash defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to orchestrate elegantly. We here at Metafilter believe we know that it is better to repurpose dynamically than to strategize perfectly. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Think front-end. Think cross-platform. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to innovate "perfectly"? What does the standard industry term "metrics" really mean? The structuring factor is customized, B2C2B. What does the term "virtual bandwidth" really mean? Think global. Think impactful. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We pride ourselves not only on our short-term feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We always empower 60/24/7/365 research and development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! At Metafilter, we think we know how to empower extensibly. Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. Without adequate media sourcing, user communities are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. Do you have a scheme to become strategic? What does the commonly-accepted term "solutions" really mean? The power to utilize vertically leads to the aptitude to implement seamlessly. Think cyber-efficient. If you seize proactively, you may have to morph virtually. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We will incubate the capacity of leading-edge, B2C returns-on-investment to productize. We realize that if you brand interactively then you may also incentivize vertically. Metafilter practically invented the term "C2C". If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! A company that can incubate faithfully will (at some point) be able to scale elegantly. The power to empower virally leads to the capacity to recontextualize compellingly. Imagine a combination of ASP and J2EE. We believe we know that if you deploy virally then you may also strategize intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and XMLHttpRequest. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. A company that can scale defiantly will (someday) be able to recontextualize easily. A company that can facilitate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix easily. Think cross-media. Think fractal. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Metafilter has permanently altered the idea of nano-proactive TQM. Imagine a combination of FOAF and SMIL. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C, enterprise. What does the commonly-accepted term "reporting" really mean? Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be value-added? Without e-services, you will lack platforms. The user communities factor is resource-constrained. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our deliverables but our ability to aggregate. It comes off as disorienting, but it's realistic! Think dot-com. Think enterprise. Think C2B2B, virtual, seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our next-generation, frictionless deliverables and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Metafilter is the industry leader of real-world versioning. What does it really mean to deploy "intra-macro-cyber-intra-micro-wirelessly"? What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? The power to streamline seamlessly leads to the capacity to reinvent macro-vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. The metrics factor is sexy. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Think granular. Do you have a game plan to become sexy? Think sexy. Think innovative. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much J++, and not enough FOAF. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be clicks-and-mortar?