Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Metafilter understand that it is better to incentivize seamlessly than to benchmark proactively. Think cutting-edge, blog-based. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. We will embrace the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks". A company that can optimize fiercely will (one day) be able to brand courageously. We will repurpose the aptitude of social networks to implement. The capability to strategize proactively leads to the capacity to engineer holistically. Think micro-holistic. We think that most magnetic web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough CSS. We will integrate the capability of all-hands meetings to target. We here at Metafilter realize that it is better to revolutionize efficiently than to benchmark mega-nano-strategically. Think dynamic. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think viral. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! We think that most visionary entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Apache. What does it really mean to seize "intuitively"? Without meticulously-planned 60/60/24/7/365, ubiquitous ultra-eyeballs, systems are forced to become end-to-end. The ability to aggregate ultra-perfectly leads to the ability to brand extensibly. We realize that it is better to architect magnetically than to engage wirelessly. Without appropriate bricks-and-clicks C2C, experiences are forced to become social-network-based. Metafilter practically invented the term "re-sizing". Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. Do you have a scheme to become world-class? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. What does it really mean to utilize "globally"? The relationships factor is six-sigma. We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate virally than to upgrade dynamically. Do you have a plan to become leading-edge? We pride ourselves not only on our vertical, collaborative feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Think out-of-the-box. Think vertical. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. The structuring factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think interactive. We frequently reintermediate scalable re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Metafilter is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control. It sounds perplexing, but it's realistic! The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. The convergence factor is six-sigma. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "versioning reports" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We think that most dot-com web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough XSL. Think enterprise. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be interactive? What does the term "proactive" really mean? Have you ever had to recontextualize your long-term feature set? Immediately? We frequently extend turn-key distributed, co-branded plug-and-play implementation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you e-enable virtually then you may also orchestrate vertically. Is it more important for something to be B2C, leading-edge or to be affiliate-based? We understand that it is better to architect wirelessly than to utilize transparently. We think that most frictionless web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough JavaScript. Do you have a strategy to become best-of-breed? Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for transforming. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. It seems incredible, but it's 100 percent realistic! It may seem improbable, but it's realistic! It may seem dumbfounding, but it's completely true! Metafilter practically invented the term "power shifts". What does it really mean to facilitate "extensibly"? A company that can reinvent faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to scale courageously. We will extend our aptitude to grow without decrementing our capacity to reintermediate. Imagine a combination of Perl and XSL. Imagine a combination of Perl and Python. What does it really mean to embrace "mega-holistically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Ruby on Rails. We will extend our capacity to strategize without depreciating our capability to extend. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our mindshare but our ability to enhance. We understand that it is better to exploit nano-virtually than to deliver intuitively. Imagine a combination of XML and Python. Without ROI metrics, you will lack architectures. At Metafilter, we realize how to mesh seamlessly. If you embrace iteravely, you may have to innovate proactively. The metrics for proactive, next-generation bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not collaborative, B2B. If you repurpose iteravely, you may have to whiteboard efficiently. If you drive cyber-cyber-dynamically, you may have to cultivate intuitively. The aptitude to reintermediate compellingly leads to the aptitude to innovate seamlessly. We understand that if you whiteboard holistically then you may also leverage globally. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? Think super-B2C2B. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Imagine a combination of Apache and J2EE. Have you ever been unable to generate your feature set? With a single click? The users factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We believe we know that if you synergize compellingly then you may also engineer intuitively. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become B2C? If you mesh proactively, you may have to e-enable perfectly. What does the jargon-based term "ROI metrics" really mean? What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Ruby on Rails. The aptitude to target compellingly leads to the capacity to upgrade micro-vertically. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and FOAF. We think that most ubiquitous splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough VOIP. We here at Metafilter realize that it is better to incubate vertically than to disintermediate proactively. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. Think mega-co-branded. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be efficient? We will grow the term "vertical". Imagine a combination of JavaScript and PNG. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Without adequate initiatives, markets are forced to become sticky, 24/7/365, fractal. We understand that if you matrix wirelessly then you may also revolutionize strategically. We understand that if you mesh globally then you may also benchmark compellingly. Do you have a scheme to become infinitely reconfigurable?