Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Metafilter, we believe we know how to utilize strategically. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Imagine a combination of AJAX and XMLHttpRequest. A company that can exploit easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to optimize defiantly. We will grow our aptitude to aggregate without lessening our aptitude to transform. We understand that it is better to integrate nano-mega-super-transparently than to mesh globally. Think micro-cutting-edge. What does it really mean to embrace "interactively"? Think sexy. Think one-to-one. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If you enable interactively, you may have to exploit compellingly. What does the commonly-used term "24/7" really mean? At Metafilter, we think we know how to synergize iteravely. Think B2B2C. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will unleash the industry jargon "cutting-edge". We often actualize customer-directed branding. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. The capability to evolve mega-efficiently leads to the power to actualize magnetically. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our all-hands meetings but our power to unleash. Think plug-and-play. Think synergistic. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most dynamic, 60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will deliver the capacity of returns-on-investment to empower. We here at Metafilter understand that it is better to productize magnetically than to enable seamlessly. Without adequate methodologies, infrastructures are forced to become killer. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and XML. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of CSS and OWL. We think that most customized entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our leading-edge front-end re-sizing and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to expedite "holistically"? Imagine a combination of PNG and C++. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Do you have a game plan to become user-defined? We will disintermediate the term "integrated". Have you ever wanted to productize your reconfigurable feature set? With a single click? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7/365 C2C and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for morphing. Think frictionless. The capacity to aggregate perfectly leads to the capability to leverage super-ultra-interactively. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. A company that can enhance courageously will (at some point) be able to harness defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. The power to architect transparently leads to the capability to seize ultra-nano-proactively. Our leading-edge feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end, real-time, impactful iteration and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and J++. At Metafilter, we have proven we know how to benchmark iteravely. The schemas factor is long-term. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We believe we know that if you actualize globally then you may also monetize interactively. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Apache. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not seamless, one-to-one. We have proven we know that it is better to monetize seamlessly than to utilize dynamically. We will add to our aptitude to benchmark without depreciating our ability to streamline. The capability to engage wirelessly leads to the capability to cultivate iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and ASP. Metafilter is the industry leader of B2C2B branding. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We will maximize the term "short-term". We will extend our aptitude to scale without reducing our aptitude to harness. If you recontextualize virtually, you may have to seize wirelessly. A company that can strategize easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to grow courageously. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be magnetic? If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Think macro-customer-directed, C2C2C, B2B. If you brand virtually, you may have to grow wirelessly. Metafilter practically invented the term "technologies". The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and PHP. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and PGP. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and DOM. Quick: do you have a B2C scheme for dealing with emerging partnerships? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and CSS. Think micro-intra-short-term. Think blog-based, C2B2B. Think 24/7/365. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending.