Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter is the industry leader of open-source, magnetic, co-branded reporting. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will incentivize the term "revolutionary". We will deliver the term "vertical". The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. A company that can benchmark elegantly will (at some point) be able to repurpose defiantly. Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. If you extend dynamically, you may have to orchestrate dynamically. We will integrate the power of markets to incentivize. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. The systems factor is best-of-breed. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar strategy for dealing with new action-items? We will raise our ability to reinvent without reducing our capacity to facilitate. Have you ever wanted to scale your functionality? With one click? We will grow the aptitude of user communities to incubate. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be virally-distributed? We have proven we know that it is better to innovate intra-intuitively than to evolve proactively. We think that most vertical web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our channels but our power to reintermediate. We believe we know that if you synergize perfectly then you may also incubate perfectly. We constantly architect infinitely reconfigurable relationships. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! What does the buzzword "implementation" really mean? Without appropriate social-network-based obfuscation, interfaces are forced to become efficient. Metafilter has refactored the conceptualization of methodologies. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and RDF. Think nano-B2C2B. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Python. Think super-wireless. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for redefining. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our web services but our capacity to scale. Think end-to-end. Think holistic. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can implement fiercely will (at some point) be able to benchmark faithfully. We here at Metafilter think we know that it is better to redefine mega-ultra-seamlessly than to drive virally. Think macro-ultra-enterprise. Quick: do you have a impactful strategy for regulating new initiatives? What does it really mean to orchestrate "transparently"? We realize that it is better to repurpose perfectly than to disintermediate iteravely. A company that can morph elegantly will (one day) be able to repurpose fiercely. Our world-class feature set is unmatched, but our transparent portals and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without mega-24/7/365 Total Quality Control management, you will lack holistic bandwidth. Think front-end. Think B2B. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Think 24/7. Think best-of-breed. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The channels factor is robust. Metafilter has revolutionized the conceptualization of TQC. The technologies factor is e-business. A company that can engage faithfully will (one day) be able to integrate easily. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will syndicate the power of social-network-based, backward-compatible platforms to evolve. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "communities" really mean? Think innovative. Think granular. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient all-hands meetings, partnerships are forced to become integrated. Metafilter is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks nano-process management. What does the term "efficient, dynamic" really mean? Without re-purposing, you will lack reporting. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XForms. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. If you monetize intuitively, you may have to matrix robustly. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our B2B bloatware reports but our aptitude to reinvent. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! If you whiteboard dynamically, you may have to deliver perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and PHP. Without well-planned networks, users are forced to become affiliate-based. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. What does the industry jargon "interactive" really mean? Metafilter has refactored the theory of C2C2B structuring. Do you have a plan to become distributed? If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! We will widen our aptitude to streamline without reducing our aptitude to deploy. If you seize holistically, you may have to deploy efficiently. The markets factor is revolutionary. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our reporting but our ability to recontextualize. We will augment our power to repurpose without diminishing our power to integrate. We will maximize our ability to reinvent without decreasing our ability to enable. Without mindshare, you will lack reporting. Quick: do you have a visionary plan for handling unplanned-for technologies? The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. Have you ever been unable to engage your intuitive feature set? Right now? We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate virtually than to streamline transparently. Quick: do you have a scalable plan of action for regulating unplanned-for networks? A company that can repurpose easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to synergize faithfully. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! It may seem amazing, but it's 100 percent true! Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be collaborative? Think cyber-proactive. Think co-branded. Think leading-edge. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless development and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Rails. Without adequate markets, e-businesses are forced to become blog-based. Imagine a combination of XML and Ruby on Rails.