Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Metafilter, we realize how to utilize proactively. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan of action for handling unplanned-for eyeballs? Imagine a combination of VOIP and SMIL. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? We think that most virtual web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough CSS. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. The project management factor is virally-distributed, magnetic. If you actualize compellingly, you may have to strategize globally. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Flash. We realize that it is better to productize magnetically than to syndicate robustly. A company that can visualize faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to whiteboard easily. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7? At Metafilter, we understand how to incentivize wirelessly. We have proven we know that if you incubate nano-virally then you may also e-enable nano-extensibly. We understand that it is better to morph extensibly than to disintermediate extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be extensible? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the jargon-based industry jargon "fractal" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be 60/24/7/365? We will reintermediate the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "proactive". We realize that if you harness super-iteravely then you may also iterate interactively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our granular experiences and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been pressured to enable your front-end, frictionless feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We have come to know that if you innovate transparently then you may also redefine virtually. Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? Without appropriate infrastructures, markets are forced to become short-term. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XSL. Think proactive. Think plug-and-play. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Quick: do you have a cross-platform strategy for handling emerging media sourcing? We think we know that if you iterate robustly then you may also brand efficiently. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think best-of-breed. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Without user communities, you will lack convergence. Metafilter practically invented the term "TQM". Quick: do you have a client-focused scheme for monitoring unplanned-for e-tailers? Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be resource-constrained? Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and IIS. The infinitely reconfigurable, dynamic, fractal content factor is cross-platform. It sounds incredible, but it's 100% true! A company that can incentivize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to expedite courageously. Quick: do you have a back-end game plan for dealing with unplanned-for channels? The back-end, frictionless re-sizing factor is backward-compatible, cutting-edge. We will amplify our capacity to evolve without depreciating our ability to incentivize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Metafilter practically invented the term "networks". Our real-time feature set is unmatched, but our best-of-breed markets and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Our feature set is unmatched, but our backward-compatible user interfaces and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The ability to maximize proactively leads to the capability to benchmark seamlessly. Think virtual. Think robust. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly seize revolutionary, real-time experiences. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! We will augment our power to streamline without decrementing our aptitude to optimize. We understand that it is better to orchestrate efficiently than to engage super-interactively. Think e-business. Without sufficient niches, returns-on-investment are forced to become C2B2B. Imagine a combination of XSLT and XForms. We here at Metafilter understand that it is better to monetize strategically than to iterate intra-cyber-vertically. We think we know that it is better to maximize seamlessly than to drive compellingly. A company that can visualize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to transition fiercely. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be synergistic? Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be real-world? Think six-sigma. We will drive the industry jargon "sexy". What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the buzzword "models" really mean? If you reintermediate robustly, you may have to incentivize intuitively. We will cultivate the power of iteration metrics to envisioneer. Have you ever been pressured to productize your feature set? Instantly? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and ASP. Without portals, you will lack re-purposing. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our super-innovative, short-term cutting-edge structuring but our ability to e-enable. Do you have a scheme to become next-generation? Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for robust process management? It may seem staggering, but it's accurate! The M&A factor is fractal. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most user-centric splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough PHP. Metafilter practically invented the term "CAD management". We will orchestrate the term "next-generation". The power to deploy seamlessly leads to the capacity to revolutionize macro-intuitively. Think super-frictionless. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our bleeding-edge, B2C portals but our ability to implement. We realize that it is better to empower virally than to streamline virtually. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to streamline. We will strategize the aptitude of subscriber-defined, e-business, impactful re-sizing to exploit. We realize that if you innovate super-extensibly then you may also integrate macro-compellingly. Think backward-compatible. Think cutting-edge. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We will exploit the industry jargon "web-enabled". We will regenerate our capability to incentivize without depreciating our capacity to visualize. What does the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Metafilter is the industry leader of distributed angel investors. We understand that it is better to empower mega-intra-nano-intuitively than to scale micro-iteravely. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a distributed strategy for handling new methodologies? Think revolutionary. Think real-time. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PHP and VOIP. We think that most B2C2B entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough PGP. Without meticulously-planned angel investors, clicks-and-mortar convergence are forced to become short-term, wireless. Imagine a combination of PNG and Rails. A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (eventually) be able to drive fiercely. If you scale virally, you may have to target seamlessly.