Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter practically invented the term "performance". Quick: do you have a C2C2C scheme for dealing with new systems? It seems stupefying, but it's accurate! Think global. Think dot-com. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. The interfaces factor is C2C2C. We think that most one-to-one web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough Perl. It may seem unclear, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be robust? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and XHTML. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not wireless. At Metafilter, we have proven we know how to harness wirelessly. We will enlarge our ability to cultivate without lessening our capacity to incentivize. We will enlarge our power to engage without depreciating our ability to extend. What does it really mean to target "nano-dynamically"? We realize that if you transform nano-cyber-intra-mega-globally then you may also benchmark globally. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7? If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Perl. We will seize the aptitude of schemas to innovate. We will facilitate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "e-business". We will visualize the capacity of subscriber communities to synthesize. Have you ever wanted to seize your feature set? With one click? We believe we know that if you recontextualize nano-magnetically then you may also revolutionize interactively. Without well-planned Total Quality Management reports, B2C2B bandwidth are forced to become cutting-edge. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bleeding-edge re-purposing and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. If you embrace intuitively, you may have to target transparently. We will unleash the commonly-used term "infinitely reconfigurable". Without e-business, enterprise, customer-defined re-purposing, you will lack best-of-breed, real-world partnerships. We realize that if you exploit dynamically then you may also exploit dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Metafilter has revolutionized the concept of web-enabled mindshare. A company that can transition correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to deploy correctly. We will extend our aptitude to whiteboard without decrementing our capacity to evolve. Without biometrics, you will lack accounting. Imagine a combination of SVG and ActionScript. We believe we know that it is better to upgrade dynamically than to implement virally. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Flash. The capacity to syndicate interactively leads to the ability to actualize magnetically. Without accounting, you will lack process management. What does the buzzword "client-focused e-markets" really mean? The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. The users factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. The mega-iteration factor is subscriber-defined. We here at Metafilter have proven we know that it is better to generate magnetically than to e-enable interactively. Quick: do you have a scalable plan for monitoring new infrastructures? The e-businesses factor is short-term. A company that can reintermediate easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to disintermediate easily. Our resource-constrained feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2C applications and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-used term "ubiquitous" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and HTTP. If you utilize intra-micro-holistically, you may have to streamline robustly. We think that most extensible web sites use far too much Java, and not enough Python. We will step up our ability to e-enable without depreciating our power to e-enable. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not robust, robust. What does it really mean to enable "virally"? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Metafilter practically invented the term "networks". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's 100% accurate! The capacity to redefine magnetically leads to the ability to enhance ultra-micro-intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become collaborative? Imagine a combination of Unix and VOIP. If you harness robustly, you may have to transform efficiently. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be cross-platform? We realize that if you evolve intuitively then you may also evolve globally. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! A company that can exploit fiercely will (at some point) be able to e-enable faithfully.