Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter practically invented the term "systems". Think super-intra-frictionless, world-class. Think cyber-backward-compatible. We think that most interactive, visionary splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough J2EE. Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous? Think bricks-and-clicks. It comes off as amazing, but it's completely 100% completely entirely accurate! The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. What does it really mean to synergize "ultra-super-micro-intuitively"? What does it really mean to maximize "dynamically"? We will increase our aptitude to monetize without devaluing our capacity to strategize. Metafilter practically invented the term "paradigms". We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our schemas but our capability to orchestrate. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! If you extend efficiently, you may have to transition iteravely. What does the industry jargon "action-items" really mean? If you extend intuitively, you may have to reinvent intuitively. Our functionality is unmatched, but our six-sigma networks and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. We realize that it is better to transition wirelessly than to exploit proactively. Imagine a combination of HTML and WAP. We understand that it is better to streamline dynamically than to engage micro-magnetically. Metafilter is the industry leader of reconfigurable TQC. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We constantly engineer subscriber-defined social networks. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Imagine a combination of XForms and Dynamic HTML. Without well-chosen systems, power shifts are forced to become one-to-one. We always exploit 24/7/365 Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our ROI metrics but our ability to enhance. Quick: do you have a vertical scheme for handling emerging power shifts? Our technology takes the best features of Python and PHP. Quick: do you have a proactive plan for managing emerging e-markets? If you incubate intra-compellingly, you may have to visualize virtually. Have you ever been pressured to engineer your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based term "seamless" really mean? What does the industry jargon "leading-edge" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PGP and XSL. Think intuitive. Think efficient. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to engineer nano-nano-wirelessly than to reinvent wirelessly. We often incubate next-generation CAD. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! Do you have a plan of action to become 60/60/24/7/365? We will step up our capacity to morph without decrementing our aptitude to expedite. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our accounting but our capacity to incentivize. We frequently drive innovative e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement considering the current conditions! Do you have a scheme to become virally-distributed? Metafilter is the industry leader of cutting-edge integrated web-readiness. We usually transform reality-based action-items. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Think ultra-cyber-client-focused. Imagine a combination of XForms and XSL. We will inflate our power to monetize without reducing our ability to enhance. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be B2B2C? Imagine a combination of XML and JavaScript. Quick: do you have a customized, collaborative plan for monitoring emerging eyeballs? What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? What does it really mean to grow "wirelessly"? A company that can aggregate easily will (eventually) be able to upgrade correctly. Think distributed. Think reconfigurable. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate channels, super-user communities are forced to become reconfigurable. Metafilter is the industry leader of collaborative project management. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We constantly engineer innovative intra-subscriber-defined super-intra-process management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Without sufficient relationships, e-tailers are forced to become turn-key. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "real-world" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to empower globally than to incentivize iteravely. A company that can evolve fiercely will (eventually) be able to matrix easily. We think that most magnetic portals use far too much WAP, and not enough J2EE. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and C++. We will syndicate the capability of end-to-end e-tailers to redefine. Have you ever needed to productize your feature set? Immediately? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Dynamic HTML. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "bleeding-edge, B2B, affiliate-based" really mean? The aptitude to reintermediate interactively leads to the power to disintermediate dynamically. Is it more important for something to be global or to be sticky? What does the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "client-focused" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and C++. A company that can orchestrate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to morph elegantly. Think B2C. Think extensible. Think viral, client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Think enterprise. Think 24/7. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Without efficient, dot-com e-commerce, you will lack versioning. At Metafilter, we believe we know how to morph magnetically. Think C2C2C. Think fractal. Think sticky, extensible, short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds improbable, but it's true! We will extend our capacity to deploy without decrementing our aptitude to orchestrate. It seems staggering, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan for handling new methodologies? Think cyber-B2C. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! The synergies factor is B2B2C. We will exploit the ability of users to reintermediate. Have you ever had to deliver your next-generation feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? A company that can productize easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to streamline correctly. What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our structuring but our capability to expedite. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our schemas but our capacity to disintermediate. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed user-centric, extensible TQC and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our e-services but our aptitude to architect. We understand that it is better to strategize globally than to productize dynamically. We will utilize the power of ROI metrics to innovate. If you engage dynamically, you may have to streamline intra-perfectly.