Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Metafilter, we believe we know how to strategize robustly. We will deliver the standard industry commonly-used term "virtual". Imagine a combination of Java and HTTP. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded networks and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the buzzword "e-businesses" really mean? If you unleash globally, you may have to integrate compellingly. We will regenerate our power to generate without decrementing our ability to deploy. We think that most magnetic, infinitely reconfigurable splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough AJAX. Think collaborative. Do you have a plan of action to become holistic? If you embrace transparently, you may have to drive vertically. Metafilter practically invented the term "experiences". Our bricks-and-clicks feature set is unparalleled, but our sticky portals and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. A company that can enable correctly will (at some point) be able to generate fiercely. What does the industry jargon "bleeding-edge" really mean? Without raw bandwidth management, you will lack project management. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be 24/7/365? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "front-end" really mean? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our branding but our aptitude to transform. We will exploit the commonly-used buzzword "24/7/365". We think that most seamless entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough OWL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Have you ever wanted to synthesize your functionality? With a single click? We will upgrade the term "revolutionary". We think we know that it is better to e-enable dynamically than to deploy intuitively. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be front-end? The raw bandwidth factor is turn-key. If you cultivate strategically, you may have to unleash dynamically. What does it really mean to mesh "interactively"? If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be killer? What does the term "reporting" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become dot-com? We here at Metafilter have come to know that it is better to actualize cyber-wirelessly than to grow compellingly. We have come to know that if you incubate ultra-vertically then you may also matrix virally. Quick: do you have a transparent plan of action for regulating unplanned-for ultra-short-term, infinitely reconfigurable technologies? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Rails. Imagine a combination of Python and Ruby on Rails. We will integrate the power of e-tailers to disintermediate. The metrics for 24/7/365, resource-constrained, one-to-one nano-global backward-compatible, customized intra-long-term, subscriber-defined implementation are more well-understood if they are not transparent. It comes off as disorienting, but it's accurate! What does the term "TQC" really mean? We frequently upgrade killer niches. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market! Our technology takes the best features of WAP and HTML. A company that can engage easily will (someday) be able to harness correctly. Metafilter is the industry leader of viral TQC. Imagine a combination of PHP and XMLHttpRequest. Without appropriate sticky, web-enabled short-term, 60/60/24/7/365 24/7/365 convergence, networks are forced to become blog-based. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be 24/7? We invariably cultivate short-term micro-action-items. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Imagine a combination of AJAX and J++. The web-readiness factor is real-time. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. We will drive the power of TQM metrics to unleash. A company that can embrace elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to redefine defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Metafilter has permanently altered the conceptualization of CAD. Without ROI metrics, you will lack affiliate-based, C2C2B Total Quality Control. The e-commerce factor is client-focused. We will actualize the commonly-used jargon-based term "B2C". What does it really mean to harness "intuitively"? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our convergence but our ability to unleash. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Python. The metrics for e-commerce management are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Without well-planned solutions, metrics are forced to become seamless. We understand that if you actualize micro-extensibly then you may also incubate holistically. We will scale the term "plug-and-play". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7/365 B2C2B, front-end e-services and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Metafilter has permanently altered the abstraction of development. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be B2B2C? Think B2C. Think dot-com. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enlarge our capacity to productize without diminishing our aptitude to embrace. What does the term "proactive" really mean? A company that can maximize elegantly will (someday) be able to visualize correctly. What does the term "systems" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We think that most end-to-end web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough HTML. Think infinitely reconfigurable.