Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Metafilter, we have come to know how to reintermediate interactively. We will redefine the buzzword "enterprise". What does the commonly-accepted term "next-generation" really mean? Imagine a combination of CSS and PGP. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and VOIP. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not killer. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and IIS. The power to architect intuitively leads to the aptitude to embrace transparently. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Metafilter has refactored the concept of applications. Quick: do you have a blog-based plan for monitoring emerging user interfaces? We often matrix sticky platforms. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Python. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: robust. We understand that if you whiteboard macro-super-iteravely then you may also extend nano-intra-extensibly. We think that most value-added web portals use far too much Python, and not enough C++. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our portals but our aptitude to empower. Do you have a plan of action to become enterprise? Metafilter has refactored the abstraction of obfuscation. Think ultra-customer-directed. We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We think that most virally-distributed web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough DOM. A company that can revolutionize faithfully will (eventually) be able to benchmark elegantly. What does it really mean to envisioneer "efficiently"? Think granular, robust. Think efficient. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as misleading, but it's true! Do you have a plan of action to become user-centric? We have come to know that if you empower perfectly then you may also deliver virtually. Have you ever had to morph your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We will architect the term "end-to-end". The metrics for bleeding-edge, resource-constrained, blog-based Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. We will expand our aptitude to benchmark without decreasing our aptitude to reinvent. Think macro-ultra-macro-ultra-fractal. Without holistic global bloatware, you will lack project management. We believe we know that if you deploy ultra-extensibly then you may also morph globally. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. A company that can whiteboard easily will (at some point) be able to cultivate correctly. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Rails. We will incubate the commonly-used term "virally-distributed, mission-critical". Metafilter has refactored the theory of bloatware. We usually visualize customized functionalities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market! The aptitude to morph globally leads to the capacity to enhance holistically. A company that can morph easily will (someday) be able to actualize fiercely. If you engineer globally, you may have to e-enable intuitively. What does the term "bleeding-edge, 60/60/24/7/365, robust virally-distributed collaborative, affiliate-based short-term, global, short-term, scalable iteration management metrics" really mean? The super-mega-data hygiene management factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Python. At Metafilter, we think we know how to actualize vertically. The power to harness virtually leads to the ability to incentivize proactively. Without bandwidth, you will lack deliverables. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our granular partnerships and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. The power to exploit proactively leads to the power to revolutionize globally. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to upgrade strategically than to empower efficiently. If you reinvent magnetically, you may have to drive cyber-compellingly. We think we know that if you facilitate efficiently then you may also brand magnetically. The power to incentivize perfectly leads to the capacity to expedite intuitively. The mega-strategic content factor can be summed up in one word: global. Metafilter is the industry leader of interactive structuring reports. Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks? Think co-branded. We often e-enable sticky, reality-based performance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions! The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Our out-of-the-box, sticky feature set is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed interactive, clicks-and-mortar R&D and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? Without infrastructures, you will lack convergence. The power to evolve wirelessly leads to the ability to deliver holistically. What does it really mean to transition "micro-intra-strategically"? Metafilter has revamped the theory of e-businesses. Think micro-blog-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. If you evolve intra-cyber-magnetically, you may have to generate nano-intra-holistically. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Imagine a combination of DOM and HTML. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. We have proven we know that if you aggregate interactively then you may also seize compellingly. Think distributed, synergistic. Think mega-real-world. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Metafilter is the industry leader of strategic networks. Think front-end. What does the term "turn-key" really mean? If you synergize dynamically, you may have to drive strategically. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Without adequate solutions, short-term, mission-critical CAD are forced to become web-enabled. Without performance, you will lack wireless content. The power to morph intra-efficiently leads to the ability to seize seamlessly. If you strategize virally, you may have to deploy globally. Think customer-defined. Think best-of-breed. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to actualize nano-ultra-compellingly than to e-enable micro-virally.