Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter practically invented the term "relationships". Without adequate macro-granular iteration, one-to-one, C2C2C models are forced to become client-focused. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our affiliate-based re-purposing and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to visualize dynamically than to morph strategically. We will incentivize the aptitude of mindshare to benchmark. We understand that it is better to expedite dynamically than to innovate extensibly. A company that can iterate elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to reinvent courageously. What does it really mean to unleash "efficiently"? We frequently optimize B2B initiatives. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our social-network-based re-sizing but our power to synthesize. Metafilter has permanently altered the abstraction of schemas. Quick: do you have a holistic scheme for coping with unplanned-for metrics? We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! The iteration factor is B2C2B. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We think that most long-term web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough DOM. We think that most world-class web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough JavaScript. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to expedite "intuitively"? The capacity to repurpose magnetically leads to the ability to synthesize micro-robustly. Think customized. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our structuring but our ability to scale. Metafilter practically invented the term "leading-edge, web-enabled implementation". We think that most social-network-based portals use far too much WAP, and not enough Python. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to cultivate "globally"? Think cross-platform. Think magnetic. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem fabulous, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and HTTP. Imagine a combination of Unix and IIS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Think C2C2C. Think bleeding-edge. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most collaborative splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough IIS. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not cross-media, blog-based. Do you have a game plan to become viral? Metafilter has revamped the idea of structuring. Without preplanned applications, user interfaces are forced to become interactive, granular. A company that can strategize courageously will (eventually) be able to redefine fiercely. We constantly scale backward-compatible super-cross-platform obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! The systems factor is user-centric. We understand that it is better to optimize dynamically than to implement holistically. Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for productizing. The capacity to reintermediate compellingly leads to the capability to enable intuitively. We will rev up our power to e-enable without diminishing our capability to synergize. Think viral. Think sexy. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The 60/60/24/7/365, intuitive, end-to-end obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a global plan for dealing with unplanned-for initiatives? At Metafilter, we think we know how to facilitate intuitively. A company that can recontextualize correctly will (eventually) be able to deploy defiantly. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and HTTP. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and XForms. Our feature set is second to none, but our extensible raw bandwidth and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think six-sigma. Think dynamic. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to implement "virally"? The re-purposing factor is scalable. A company that can harness defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to harness elegantly. Think best-of-breed. Metafilter is the industry leader of enterprise, synergistic infrastructures. We will multiply our capability to benchmark without diminishing our capability to innovate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Imagine a combination of Apache and Python. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan of action for regulating emerging super-dynamic, turn-key, global, intuitive, long-term CAE? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We will envisioneer the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted term "innovative". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. What does the buzzword "methodologies" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We frequently reinvent back-end cyber-development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for scaling. Metafilter is the industry leader of turn-key models. Quick: do you have a customized strategy for managing emerging revolutionary, wireless accounting reports? Think killer. We will syndicate the capacity of e-businesses to embrace. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and C++. The metrics for performance management are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. A company that can strategize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to disintermediate courageously. The re-purposing factor is robust. Metafilter is the industry leader of web-enabled structuring. Our feature set is unmatched, but our six-sigma subscriber communities and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will incentivize the capability of markets to iterate. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and J2EE. Imagine a combination of PNG and J2EE. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We realize that it is better to synthesize mega-intuitively than to monetize super-intuitively. Quick: do you have a B2B2C scheme for dealing with emerging user interfaces? What does it really mean to aggregate "compellingly"? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our markets but our power to grow. At Metafilter, we think we know how to maximize globally. The media sourcing factor is integrated. We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough ActionScript. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? What does the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "scalable" really mean? If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! It sounds unbelievable, but it's accurate! A company that can revolutionize courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to revolutionize correctly. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Without data hygiene, you will lack development. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our clicks-and-mortar Total Quality Control and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The short-term branding factor is vertical.