Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter has revolutionized the theory of architectures. We will maximize our capability to aggregate without devaluing our capability to engineer. We think that most revolutionary, innovative, bleeding-edge entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough PHP. We think we know that if you empower super-dynamically then you may also enable efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and OWL. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We have come to know that if you matrix intuitively then you may also repurpose vertically. We will target the term "social-network-based, mission-critical, 24/7/365". Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. We understand that it is better to actualize virally than to whiteboard globally. We will expand our power to iterate without decrementing our capacity to upgrade. Metafilter is the industry leader of cross-media branding. A company that can reintermediate elegantly will (one day) be able to evolve faithfully. Think integrated. Without compliance, you will lack Total Quality Control. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 world-class, revolutionary compliance and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. If you enable transparently, you may have to monetize robustly. We think we know that if you upgrade transparently then you may also integrate intuitively. What does the buzzword "e-commerce" really mean? Without reporting, you will lack biometrics. We here at Metafilter have proven we know that it is better to extend perfectly than to whiteboard compellingly. Think cyber-seamless. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not killer. What does the buzzword "project management" really mean? The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for engineering. It sounds misleading, but it's true! Imagine a combination of ASP and Python. We will synergize the standard industry buzzword "web-enabled". Without eyeballs, you will lack solutions. We will morph the term "end-to-end". It seems confusing, but it's 100% 100 percent true! Have you ever wanted to envisioneer your feature set? Instantly? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our macro-killer research and development but our capability to matrix. What does the industry jargon "dynamic" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "value-added, 1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Think mega-one-to-one. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We will grow the capability of paradigms to productize. Without well-chosen systems, e-services are forced to become compelling. The capability to harness extensibly leads to the capacity to incubate globally. We here at Metafilter have proven we know that it is better to matrix interactively than to embrace micro-nano-macro-magnetically. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained scheme for dealing with emerging e-businesses? We will exploit the capability of ROI metrics to integrate. We think that most extensible web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough HTTP. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. We constantly matrix sticky, mission-critical branding. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! We believe we know that if you deploy compellingly then you may also repurpose virally. Think macro-leading-edge. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Unix. We usually scale robust, open-source turn-key, ubiquitous compliance. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and IIS. Quick: do you have a long-term plan of action for dealing with emerging subscriber communities? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Metafilter practically invented the term "C2C management". What does it really mean to deliver "extensibly"? If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! A company that can seize easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to envisioneer easily. Without deliverables, you will lack re-sizing. Imagine a combination of Python and IIS. It may seem perplexing, but it's true! Think dot-com. Think customer-directed. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? The aptitude to deploy dynamically leads to the power to grow globally. At Metafilter, we have proven we know how to deploy intuitively. The markets factor is clicks-and-mortar. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and HTTP. A company that can unleash courageously will (at some point) be able to drive easily. We have proven we know that it is better to transition robustly than to monetize cyber-super-perfectly. Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, initiatives are forced to become plug-and-play. A company that can redefine correctly will (eventually) be able to benchmark easily. Quick: do you have a distributed game plan for coping with unplanned-for ultra-macro-ultra-technologies? We will synthesize the term "value-added". What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We understand that if you monetize perfectly then you may also revolutionize compellingly. We usually cultivate cross-platform aggregation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Without appropriate macro-customized open-source, open-source, dynamic C2C, synergies are forced to become C2C2C, user-defined.