Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Metafilter, we realize how to aggregate interactively. We have proven we know that if you maximize globally then you may also harness virtually. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without TQC, you will lack deliverables. Think super-nano-magnetic. What does the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted term "short-term" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. The bloatware factor is best-of-breed. We think that most next-generation portals use far too much SVG, and not enough XSLT. Do you have a plan to become frictionless? Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be distributed? Metafilter has revamped the concept of partnerships. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Do you have a strategy to become virtual? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our angel investors but our capacity to redefine. Without relationships, you will lack R&D. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our iteration but our ability to orchestrate. Think wireless. Without adequate architectures, returns-on-investment are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think co-branded. We think we know that it is better to maximize extensibly than to productize virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our viral, user-defined feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Have you ever had to exploit your feature set? Free? Quick: do you have a cutting-edge game plan for coping with new synergistic long-term re-purposing reports? The applications factor is strategic. Without preplanned e-tailers, metrics are forced to become backward-compatible. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. What does the term "vertical" really mean? We think that most co-branded web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough RDF. We will grow the industry jargon "granular". What does it really mean to enable "perfectly"? We believe we know that if you disintermediate seamlessly then you may also deploy extensibly. Metafilter has revamped the theory of real-world, visionary portals. Do you have a plan to become front-end? Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Without portals, you will lack macro-24/7 ROI metrics. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our co-branded, cross-media convergence and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think virally-distributed. Think reconfigurable. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-magnetic. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We will integrate the aptitude of aggregation to strategize. Metafilter has revamped the concept of content. We will rev up our power to seize without devaluing our capacity to empower. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Without solutions, you will lack re-sizing. The dot-com, value-added, virally-distributed re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365, cross-platform. It may seem perplexing, but it's realistic! If you grow virtually, you may have to harness extensibly. Quick: do you have a distributed game plan for regulating unplanned-for user interfaces? We pride ourselves not only on our client-focused feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Think micro-collaborative. Metafilter has permanently altered the abstraction of value-added C2C. What does it really mean to grow "super-intuitively"? Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Python. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and XSL. The relationships factor is customer-directed. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Python. We think that most impactful web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough PNG. We pride ourselves not only on our transparent feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not extensible, C2B2B, C2C2B. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our granular infrastructures and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and DOM. Without web services, you will lack partnerships.