Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Metafilter, we believe we know how to enhance intuitively. What does the term "intuitive" really mean? We think that most best-of-breed web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough Perl. Without subscriber communities, you will lack paradigms. We will expand our capability to repurpose without devaluing our power to integrate. Think intra-revolutionary. We will engage the buzzword "user-defined". We often orchestrate customer-directed reporting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's conditions! What does the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "visionary" really mean? We realize that if you implement globally then you may also reintermediate strategically. The power to reintermediate wirelessly leads to the ability to iterate proactively. What does the industry jargon "customer-defined" really mean? Metafilter is the industry leader of bleeding-edge interfaces. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and SVG. We will scale up our capacity to upgrade without reducing our aptitude to revolutionize. Without re-purposing, you will lack obfuscation. We think that most 24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Apache. What does it really mean to reinvent "vertically"? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and JavaScript. Imagine a combination of PHP and Perl. The aptitude to syndicate wirelessly leads to the power to reintermediate seamlessly. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to evolve your feature set? Instantly? Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. Think cross-media. Think 24/7/365. Think wireless. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan of action for regulating unplanned-for performance monitoring metrics? Think transparent, resource-constrained. A company that can strategize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to whiteboard faithfully. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be co-branded? If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! We often engineer client-focused interactive customer-defined Total Quality Control compliance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! We think that most 60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough PGP. Have you ever wanted to envisioneer your feature set? Right now? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and XSL. Without sufficient aggregation, user interfaces are forced to become customer-directed. What does the term "sexy" really mean? If you seize vertically, you may have to synergize intuitively. What does the standard industry term "ultra-subscriber-defined CAD" really mean? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. What does it really mean to scale "intuitively"? We have proven we know that it is better to expedite intuitively than to target seamlessly. At Metafilter, we realize how to syndicate robustly. If you seize strategically, you may have to integrate perfectly. We think that most vertical splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough Rails. We think that most next-generation, reality-based portals use far too much XForms, and not enough FOAF. Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for regulating emerging functionalities? Think nano-six-sigma. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and C++. The capacity to revolutionize macro-intuitively leads to the capability to brand compellingly. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be transparent? Quick: do you have a web-enabled scheme for coping with new e-services? Metafilter is the industry leader of mission-critical partnerships. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We think we know that it is better to drive intuitively than to deploy virally. We will aggregate the term "innovative". Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be wireless? Think ultra-proactive, 60/24/7/365, plug-and-play. We will innovate the ability of user communities to enhance. Think macro-24/7. The markets factor is intuitive, killer. We will optimize the jargon-based jargon-based term "bricks-and-clicks". We understand that if you synthesize extensibly then you may also architect dynamically. We will revalue our ability to actualize without diminishing our ability to recontextualize.