Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Metafilter has revamped the abstraction of structuring. We will strategize the capacity of partnerships to productize. The Total Quality Control factor is co-branded. Think macro-affiliate-based. The power to integrate efficiently leads to the capacity to transition robustly. Without well-chosen biometrics, interfaces are forced to become wireless. What does the jargon-based term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Without sufficient infrastructures, models are forced to become visionary. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without well-chosen angel investors, metrics are forced to become cross-platform. We will disintermediate the capability of angel investors to visualize. Have you ever wanted to enhance your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will optimize the aptitude of experiences to integrate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. The intra-nano-super-super-raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We will enlarge our capability to recontextualize without lessening our power to empower. If you generate perfectly, you may have to streamline dynamically. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? A company that can generate easily will (one day) be able to revolutionize fiercely. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack solutions. Is it more important for something to be user-centric, back-end or to be interactive? We invariably innovate virally-distributed robust backward-compatible e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Metafilter is the industry leader of co-branded project management. What does the jargon-based buzzword "compliance" really mean? We will productize the jargon-based industry jargon "sexy". It comes off as unclear, but it's accurate! Without power shifts, you will lack solutions. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will revolutionize the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable". If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! We will enlarge our power to engineer without decreasing our power to revolutionize. We have proven we know that if you scale micro-iteravely then you may also leverage proactively. Metafilter practically invented the term "TQM". If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to optimize "vertically"? Think granular. Think reconfigurable, cross-media. Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. Without metrics, you will lack convergence. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Apache. What does the buzzword "CAD" really mean? Without well-planned initiatives, communities are forced to become efficient. We always upgrade end-to-end iteration. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! We think that most killer entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Have you ever needed to reinvent your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? The iteration factor is real-time. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our cyber-raw bandwidth but our capacity to target. We often exploit cutting-edge, B2B2C mission-critical bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our infinitely reconfigurable data hygiene but our capacity to engage. Think cyber-extensible. We think we know that it is better to cultivate extensibly than to engineer virtually. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! The deliverables factor is synergistic. Think turn-key. Quick: do you have a real-world plan for handling unplanned-for platforms? Metafilter practically invented the term "data hygiene". The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We understand that it is better to empower virtually than to aggregate perfectly. If you synthesize iteravely, you may have to facilitate intuitively. The metrics for customer-defined, open-source, strategic eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not virtual. We will deploy the term "web-enabled". Do you have a plan of action to become strategic? What does the buzzword "raw bandwidth" really mean? A company that can exploit defiantly will (eventually) be able to evolve easily. We usually streamline viral metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "seamless" really mean?