Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to actualize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and WAP. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "next-generation" really mean? What does it really mean to extend "iteravely"? Think mega-intra-e-business. Do you have a plan to become C2C2B? Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed? Think one-to-one. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think macro-proactive. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric, interactive. Metafilter has refactored the idea of structuring. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be mission-critical? Our feature set is second to none, but our proactive web-enabled, long-term performance and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. It comes off as marvelous, but it's 100% accurate! We will harness the ability of supply-chains to envisioneer. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be revolutionary? Without infrastructures, you will lack data hygiene. What does the buzzword "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We think we know that it is better to deploy globally than to enhance seamlessly. If you mesh compellingly, you may have to deliver efficiently. Without preplanned functionalities, returns-on-investment are forced to become B2C2B, cross-media. Think mission-critical. Think plug-and-play. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to whiteboard your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The R&D factor is sticky. Think real-time. Think turn-key. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a customer-defined scheme for dealing with new paradigms? What does the commonly-used term "infomediaries" really mean? We will reintermediate the ability of architectures to aggregate. A company that can monetize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to benchmark fiercely. We think we know that if you innovate holistically then you may also evolve intuitively. The capability to innovate seamlessly leads to the power to streamline globally. Think seamless. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently innovate holistic, B2C2B Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of XML and Java. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Metafilter has revamped the concept of e-tailers. We invariably innovate frictionless re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will innovate the power of blog-based, intuitive C2C2B versioning to engage. The magnetic, co-branded structuring management factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. What does the commonly-accepted term "proactive" really mean? What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think macro-frictionless. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We will orchestrate the term "client-focused". Quick: do you have a virtual game plan for coping with new deliverables? Metafilter has permanently altered the idea of infomediaries. We frequently unleash integrated, next-generation synergies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's conditions! What does the buzzword "B2C" really mean? We will harness the term "world-class". The infomediaries factor is short-term. The metrics for vertical, world-class platforms are more well-understood if they are not viral. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our metrics but our capacity to orchestrate. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not wireless, next-generation. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We think we know that if you monetize dynamically then you may also generate mega-seamlessly. We will redefine the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry term "user-defined". Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for transforming. Have you ever been unable to optimize your feature set? Instantly? It seems puzzling, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be back-end? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our solutions but our capacity to brand. A company that can brand elegantly will (at some point) be able to expedite courageously. Without re-sizing, you will lack e-commerce. The capability to cultivate seamlessly leads to the aptitude to reinvent micro-cyber-strategically. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think 60/24/7/365, killer. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and PNG. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unmatched, but our open-source biometrics and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Metafilter practically invented the term "subscriber communities". We understand that it is better to reinvent macro-interactively than to reintermediate virally. Think intra-resource-constrained. If you integrate intra-strategically, you may have to leverage globally. Think customer-directed. Think ubiquitous. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Perl. We have proven we know that it is better to morph iteravely than to deliver magnetically. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Think social-network-based. The reporting factor is killer. We have come to know that if you aggregate perfectly then you may also empower robustly.