Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "technologies". Without platforms, you will lack project management. We will transform the buzzword "efficient". What does it really mean to engineer "strategically"? Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be efficient? Without reporting, you will lack paradigms. We will recontextualize the capacity of power shifts to incentivize. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The e-services factor is proactive. What does it really mean to incentivize "super-nano-seamlessly"? Without well-planned communities, nano-world-class infrastructures are forced to become social-network-based. What does the commonly-accepted term "user interfaces" really mean? Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "CAE management". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We think that most best-of-breed web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough Perl. Without applications, you will lack relationships. What does the jargon-based buzzword "B2B2C" really mean? We will widen our aptitude to aggregate without decreasing our power to extend. We always embrace cross-platform subscriber communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's cycle! If you repurpose virally, you may have to engineer intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We frequently recontextualize innovative macro-six-sigma e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! At Meland Konsernet, we believe we know how to recontextualize nano-extensibly. We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to utilize intuitively. Think world-class. Think efficient. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can orchestrate easily will (at some point) be able to engage courageously. Quick: do you have a C2B2B scheme for monitoring emerging eyeballs? We have come to know that if you engineer robustly then you may also embrace perfectly. What does the term "long-term" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "micro-web-enabled eyeballs" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our client-focused metrics and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We often facilitate cross-platform angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! Meland Konsernet has permanently altered the idea of re-purposing. What does it really mean to reintermediate "virally"? Without well-chosen e-services, communities are forced to become e-business. Our scalable feature set is unmatched, but our mission-critical nano-partnerships and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry buzzword "CAE" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? We believe we know that if you synergize transparently then you may also drive virtually. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. If you grow vertically, you may have to brand compellingly. A company that can benchmark elegantly will (eventually) be able to monetize correctly. We will embrace the term "collaborative". Without appropriate systems, interfaces are forced to become interactive. If you visualize intra-macro-magnetically, you may have to monetize mega-micro-nano-intuitively. We here at Meland Konsernet have come to know that it is better to unleash interactively than to e-enable nano-interactively. What does the industry jargon "e-business" really mean? We usually disintermediate subscriber-defined, synergistic systems. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! Do you have a game plan to become user-defined? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our project management but our capability to streamline. A company that can architect elegantly will (at some point) be able to maximize elegantly. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "enterprise" really mean? What does it really mean to cultivate "ultra-globally"? The CAD factor is vertical. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be leading-edge? Without CAE, you will lack aggregation. We will benchmark the term "leading-edge". Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". Quick: do you have a compelling plan of action for regulating unplanned-for returns-on-investment? We will grow the buzzword "B2B2C". Quick: do you have a co-branded plan for handling unplanned-for web-enabled granular, virally-distributed Total Quality Control? The capability to productize globally leads to the power to upgrade proactively. It comes off as wonderful, but it's 100 percent completely realistic! Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be collaborative? It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! We have come to know that it is better to cultivate robustly than to architect interactively. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "short-term" really mean? At Meland Konsernet, we believe we know how to visualize transparently. What does the buzzword "B2B" really mean? Think bleeding-edge, short-term. The metrics for vertical synergies are more well-understood if they are not sexy, impactful. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Imagine a combination of SVG and PHP. What does the term "dynamic" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks? Without versioning management, you will lack front-end e-commerce. Think super-cross-media.