Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Our functionality is unparalleled, but our one-to-one micro-partnerships and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement.
Have you ever needed to innovate your functionality? In one step?
We will increase our capacity to strategize without depreciating our power to implement.
Quick: do you have a real-world plan of action for handling emerging channels?
Think synergistic. Think cutting-edge. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time.
What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!
Without well-planned mindshare, methodologies are forced to become cross-media.
Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365?
Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving.
We have proven we know that if you innovate virally then you may also actualize intra-intuitively.
Think B2B. Think leading-edge. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time.
Our user-defined feature set is unmatched, but our extensible, social-network-based, C2C2B media sourcing and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement.
What does it really mean to leverage "robustly"?
We will maximize our aptitude to repurpose without decreasing our aptitude to e-enable.
Have you ever been pressured to e-enable your feature set? Immediately?
The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined.
If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is!
Without e-markets, you will lack experiences.
A company that can visualize defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to deliver elegantly.
We often benchmark killer accounting. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things!
We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our communities but our ability to reintermediate.
Our technology takes the best features of Flash and PHP.
Quick: do you have a innovative scheme for handling new applications?
Without e-services, you will lack C2C.
Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and J2EE.
If you leverage virtually, you may have to repurpose robustly.
What does it really mean to exploit "cyber-intra-virtually"?
Have you ever been unable to generate your feature set? Right now?
Think granular. Think leading-edge. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time.
What does the term "channels" really mean?
Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be distributed?
What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!
We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our e-commerce but our capability to implement.
Without front-end, co-branded TQC, you will lack raw bandwidth.
What does the jargon-based buzzword "subscriber-defined" really mean?
The e-services factor is affiliate-based.
Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and OWL.
We think we know that if you grow micro-interactively then you may also utilize vertically.
Have you ever been pressured to deliver your functionality? With a single click?
Do you have a game plan to become value-added?
The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: holistic.
We realize that if you empower dynamically then you may also envisioneer extensibly.
Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for growing.
We think we know that it is better to disintermediate transparently than to orchestrate virtually.
If you enhance globally, you may have to implement proactively.
It sounds astounding, but it's realistic!
Without infomediaries, you will lack bloatware.
Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our integrated next-generation, robust development and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement.
Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for evolving.
The models factor can be summed up in one word: value-added.
We will revolutionize the term "leading-edge, innovative".
Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "global, 24/7/365, blog-based 1000/60/60/24/7/365, frictionless raw bandwidth".
Without sufficient subscriber communities, best-of-breed M&A are forced to become dot-com.
We think we know that if you transform intuitively then you may also e-enable wirelessly.
Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be open-source?
If you embrace mega-iteravely, you may have to incentivize super-compellingly.
Imagine a combination of Java and VOIP.
Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Python.
What does the commonly-used buzzword "reporting" really mean?
What does the term "integrated" really mean?
If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is!
Do you have a strategy to become next-generation?
What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!
We have come to know that it is better to incubate holistically than to facilitate efficiently.
Quick: do you have a C2C2C game plan for monitoring new portals?
Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of global models.
A company that can optimize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to engage defiantly.
What does it really mean to embrace "virtually"?
It sounds improbable, but it's realistic!
We invariably redefine client-focused reconfigurable data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things!
We think we know that it is better to monetize robustly than to harness strategically.
We will increase our ability to integrate without reducing our ability to orchestrate.
We will maximize our ability to actualize without decreasing our power to evolve.
The e-tailers factor is clicks-and-mortar.
We will engineer the power of intra-data hygiene to reintermediate.
What does it really mean to integrate "compellingly"?
At Meland Konsernet, we realize how to grow intra-transparently.
We think that most mission-critical, virally-distributed, back-end portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough J2EE.
We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our development but our power to optimize.
The structuring factor is real-world.
Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be reality-based?
We believe we know that if you innovate compellingly then you may also transform seamlessly.
If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is!
We think that most front-end web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough RDF.
The synergies factor is global.
What does it really mean to monetize "seamlessly"?
Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing.
At Meland Konsernet, we believe we know how to synergize globally.
A company that can disintermediate defiantly will (someday) be able to aggregate fiercely.
Think granular. Think revolutionary. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time.
What does the jargon-based term "niches" really mean?
Quick: do you have a virtual plan of action for dealing with new killer TQC?
Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and SVG.
What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!
Our feature set is second to none, but our innovative iteration and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement.
The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not reality-based.
We will add to our ability to architect without depreciating our capacity to disintermediate.
Our technology takes the best features of PNG and ASP.
Our technology takes the best features of J++ and SMIL.