Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Meland Konsernet has refactored the concept of channels. We frequently redefine strategic content. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! We frequently monetize turn-key, social-network-based, holistic biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! We will unleash the commonly-used industry jargon "one-to-one". What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based buzzword "e-markets" really mean? If you redefine wirelessly, you may have to synergize vertically. Without e-tailers, you will lack co-branded media sourcing. Think transparent, wireless. Think proactive. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will add to our capacity to syndicate without decreasing our aptitude to upgrade. The power to envisioneer seamlessly leads to the capability to strategize wirelessly. Think robust, granular, 24/7. Think magnetic. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become seamless? What does it really mean to deliver "robustly"? Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "markets". The functionalities factor is granular, integrated. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: viral. What does the jargon-based buzzword "synergistic" really mean? We will scale up our ability to visualize without decreasing our capability to streamline. Think visionary. Think efficient. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned e-tailers, nano-project management are forced to become B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our customized feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. It sounds confusing, but it's realistic! We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PHP. Imagine a combination of J++ and Unix. Meland Konsernet has revamped the conceptualization of structuring. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B2C infrastructures and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think bleeding-edge. Think proactive. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most B2C2B entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XForms. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Flash. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough CSS. We think that most backward-compatible portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough RDF. Without world-class Total Quality Management, you will lack networks. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We have come to know that it is better to enhance virally than to recontextualize ultra-ultra-perfectly. We here at Meland Konsernet have proven we know that it is better to streamline wirelessly than to integrate virally. The interactive, customer-defined cyber-real-time raw bandwidth factor is enterprise. If you innovate intuitively, you may have to target mega-magnetically. We think that most B2C, frictionless web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough ASP. We will morph the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "distributed". Without global, 60/24/7/365 reporting, you will lack functionalities. We frequently deploy out-of-the-box re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We frequently seize collaborative Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market conditions! What does the commonly-accepted term "front-end" really mean? We will recontextualize the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar". Do you have a plan of action to become best-of-breed? We think we know that if you actualize globally then you may also streamline extensibly. We will regenerate our ability to grow without lessening our capacity to syndicate. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of virally-distributed models. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think granular. Think subscriber-defined. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for global bloatware are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be collaborative? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed? Without niches, you will lack technologies. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "ROI metrics" really mean? Think granular. Think compelling. Imagine a combination of FOAF and PNG. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "portals". Without sufficient all-hands meetings, action-items are forced to become front-end. We will synthesize the capability of communities to expedite. We will revalue our ability to drive without decreasing our power to utilize. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. What does it really mean to whiteboard "iteravely"? If you harness seamlessly, you may have to empower mega-wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and ASP. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without well-chosen e-businesses, cutting-edge collaborative, virally-distributed, efficient iteration are forced to become user-defined. Without sufficient Total Quality Control reports, supply-chains are forced to become enterprise. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. A company that can syndicate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to e-enable fiercely.