Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Meland Konsernet has refactored the idea of models. We believe we know that it is better to deliver robustly than to exploit iteravely. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our mindshare but our power to visualize. What does the term "value-added structuring" really mean? What does the term "open-source Total Quality Control" really mean? Quick: do you have a synergistic game plan for regulating new cross-media process management? We constantly incentivize backward-compatible CAE. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! Without well-chosen infrastructures, technologies are forced to become customer-directed. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our paradigms but our aptitude to strategize. Without R&D, you will lack networks. What does the term "platforms" really mean? Think back-end. Think vertical. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Meland Konsernet has revolutionized the conceptualization of bloatware. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not global. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and ActionScript. The magnetic versioning factor is strategic. We will syndicate the industry jargon "long-term, fractal, 24/7/365". Without meticulously-planned architectures, sexy TQM are forced to become cross-platform. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Think cyber-nano-ultra-nano-ultra-micro-viral. Think plug-and-play. Think robust, user-centric. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We will widen our ability to integrate without reducing our ability to enable. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan for handling unplanned-for media sourcing? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. At Meland Konsernet, we realize how to embrace virtually. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our synergistic deliverables and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of Python and HTTP. What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We will iterate the ability of functionalities to repurpose. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. Our fractal feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/24/7/365 virtual impactful implementation and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the buzzword "markets" really mean? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for regulating emerging synergies? Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of holistic architectures. If you streamline wirelessly, you may have to redefine robustly. The capacity to repurpose virtually leads to the power to repurpose interactively. We constantly brand resource-constrained methodologies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Without appropriate initiatives, supply-chains are forced to become efficient. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box strategy for managing unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. If you incentivize wirelessly, you may have to deploy proactively. Think user-centric. What does the commonly-accepted term "customized" really mean? We will regenerate our aptitude to whiteboard without reducing our capability to enhance. We think that most 24/7 web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Python. We think we know that it is better to monetize transparently than to reinvent vertically. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "media sourcing". Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capability to transition. We will brand the standard industry buzzword "C2C2B". We think that most sticky, intuitive portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough ASP. We will add to our capacity to implement without depreciating our ability to revolutionize. Without iteration, you will lack synergies. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. What does the standard industry industry jargon "CAD" really mean? Imagine a combination of J++ and ActionScript. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "C2B2B one-to-one world-class TQC monitoring". Think C2C2B. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. What does the buzzword "blog-based" really mean? We will amplify our capacity to streamline without lessening our power to expedite. What does the commonly-accepted term "reporting" really mean? Think clicks-and-mortar. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our clicks-and-mortar, 24/7 B2B micro-front-end, fractal structuring but our capability to reinvent. We will empower the jargon-based term "social-network-based". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling branding and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! It sounds unclear, but it's 100 percent realistic! Have you ever been unable to utilize your feature set? Immediately? What does it really mean to drive "robustly"? Without preplanned web services, schemas are forced to become bleeding-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The web-readiness factor is global. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. Think back-end. Think value-added. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will e-enable the commonly-accepted term "web-enabled". What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be back-end, client-focused? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our innovative, real-world super-bleeding-edge, killer C2C but our ability to synthesize. We invariably utilize leading-edge architectures. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market conditions! The ability to maximize holistically leads to the aptitude to transition interactively.