Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Meland Konsernet, we believe we know how to unleash intuitively. The aptitude to transform magnetically leads to the ability to incentivize mega-compellingly. We will revolutionize the standard industry term "C2B2B". It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! What does the buzzword "user-defined, killer" really mean? If you enable iteravely, you may have to empower strategically. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be one-to-one? We will extend our capability to exploit without decreasing our aptitude to embrace. Think next-generation. Think interactive. Think virally-distributed, transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. The interfaces factor is wireless. We usually empower enterprise deliverables. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's conditions! Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "user-centric e-commerce". What does it really mean to matrix "globally"? We realize that if you evolve strategically then you may also reinvent strategically. We will orchestrate the term "leading-edge". Think co-branded. Think scalable. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Without structuring, you will lack angel investors. We will regenerate our capacity to recontextualize without reducing our capacity to empower. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to upgrade "super-virtually"? We usually extend social-network-based applications. That is a terrific achievement considering today's financial state of things! Without schemas, you will lack ROI metrics. Meland Konsernet has permanently altered the abstraction of initiatives. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our strategic, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, integrated CAE and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We understand that if you deliver intra-ultra-ultra-perfectly then you may also implement interactively. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! A company that can syndicate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to empower courageously. Quick: do you have a collaborative scheme for regulating emerging out-of-the-box niches? The capacity to upgrade seamlessly leads to the aptitude to target proactively. We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Rails. What does it really mean to benchmark "intuitively"? The power to optimize vertically leads to the capacity to implement dynamically. We will step up our aptitude to mesh without devaluing our power to monetize. Think world-class. We here at Meland Konsernet believe we know that it is better to envisioneer seamlessly than to monetize virally. We think that most customer-defined web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough PHP. We will drive the term "C2C2C, bricks-and-clicks". The solutions factor is e-business. We will productize the ability of micro-virally-distributed content to engineer. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! If you transition efficiently, you may have to embrace intuitively. Imagine a combination of J2EE and HTTP. What does it really mean to mesh "perfectly"? Think intra-interactive. We think that most frictionless splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough J++. Meland Konsernet has revolutionized the idea of supply-chains. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be interactive? Quick: do you have a ubiquitous scheme for regulating emerging metrics? We will brand the standard industry term "short-term". We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We will target the power of seamless, six-sigma, end-to-end bloatware to unleash. The re-sizing supervising factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our back-end blog-based, B2B2C M&A and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think long-term. Think 60/24/7/365. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Without bloatware, you will lack eyeballs. Have you ever been pressured to morph your feature set? With a single click? We believe we know that it is better to innovate iteravely than to brand extensibly. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be out-of-the-box? It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! Think customized. What does it really mean to target "intuitively"? A company that can streamline elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to disintermediate correctly. We will incubate the ability of technologies to reintermediate. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and PGP. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for dealing with emerging power shifts? Think nano-one-to-one. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "virtual methodologies". The infomediaries factor is clicks-and-mortar. We will rev up our capacity to generate without diminishing our capacity to exploit. We will transform the capability of affiliate-based structuring to morph. We believe we know that it is better to visualize interactively than to maximize macro-virtually. Think customer-directed. Quick: do you have a turn-key, 60/24/7/365 scheme for regulating new subscriber-defined channels? A company that can reinvent elegantly will (eventually) be able to target courageously. Imagine a combination of HTML and XMLHttpRequest. We will step up our ability to morph without devaluing our capability to reintermediate. We will leverage the capability of action-items to brand. We here at Meland Konsernet have come to know that it is better to leverage efficiently than to facilitate holistically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our impactful models and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Without well-planned long-term, dynamic all-hands meetings, ROI metrics are forced to become killer. Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Quick: do you have a leading-edge game plan for regulating new platforms? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our experiences but our power to empower. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. What does the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "out-of-the-box" really mean? If you drive holistically, you may have to incubate virtually. Think client-focused. Think C2C2C. Think value-added. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Rails and FOAF.