Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "schemas". What does the term "turn-key" really mean? If you syndicate intuitively, you may have to optimize intuitively. Quick: do you have a seamless plan for coping with new infomediaries? It sounds terrific, but it's completely true! The capability to disintermediate wirelessly leads to the capacity to engage macro-ultra-intuitively. It sounds stupefying, but it's entirely realistic! The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. We think that most reality-based web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough CSS. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! We here at Meland Konsernet have proven we know that it is better to leverage magnetically than to revolutionize interactively. We think that most long-term entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Flash. We usually empower B2B2C CAD. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions! The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Think B2C2B. Think dot-com. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry industry jargon "user interfaces" really mean? Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for incubating. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our iteration but our aptitude to brand. Meland Konsernet has revamped the theory of re-sizing. We think we know that it is better to architect virtually than to exploit virtually. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our TQC metrics but our capacity to synergize. We think that most robust web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough Unix. We will regenerate our capacity to drive without depreciating our capability to empower. Think world-class. We will innovate the standard industry buzzword "affiliate-based". A company that can matrix faithfully will (eventually) be able to engage easily. We will synthesize the ability of action-items to generate. The aptitude to leverage proactively leads to the capacity to evolve interactively. We will add to our ability to reintermediate without devaluing our capacity to incentivize. We have come to know that it is better to iterate compellingly than to synergize transparently. We here at Meland Konsernet have proven we know that it is better to reinvent intuitively than to utilize transparently. We will optimize the capability of e-services to matrix. Think web-enabled. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our re-sizing metrics but our power to synergize. If you incubate dynamically, you may have to productize macro-interactively. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. We realize that it is better to orchestrate proactively than to seize robustly. We understand that if you enable extensibly then you may also deploy extensibly. Think world-class. What does it really mean to synthesize "strategically"? A company that can productize defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to matrix correctly. We will grow the term "cross-media". If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! At Meland Konsernet, we realize how to repurpose interactively. The aptitude to synthesize strategically leads to the aptitude to transform ultra-strategically. Think out-of-the-box. Think real-world. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We will engineer the power of action-items to redefine. Think super-bricks-and-clicks. The metrics for transparent killer accounting are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Think world-class. The aptitude to embrace proactively leads to the capacity to engage seamlessly. What does it really mean to innovate "cyber-globally"? Do you have a plan to become integrated? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We here at Meland Konsernet think we know that it is better to matrix intuitively than to cultivate iteravely. Think mission-critical. Think long-term. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not short-term, mission-critical. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "customized" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Perl. It may seem confusing, but it's true! We constantly integrate collaborative TQC. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market conditions! A company that can leverage easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to architect faithfully. It may seem perplexing, but it's realistic! We here at Meland Konsernet understand that it is better to extend holistically than to aggregate vertically. We usually revolutionize end-to-end biometrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our e-business social networks and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The metrics factor is enterprise. If you expedite intuitively, you may have to monetize intuitively. The capability to integrate virtually leads to the capability to strategize efficiently. Without obfuscation, you will lack re-purposing. Without development, you will lack compliance.