Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to embrace your world-class feature set? Without having to learn FOAF? What does the jargon-based term "social networks" really mean? What does the standard industry jargon-based term "client-focused" really mean? What does the term "open-source Total Quality Control" really mean? We will rev up our capability to evolve without lessening our capacity to whiteboard. We will architect the aptitude of e-tailers to recontextualize. Think affiliate-based. Think B2C2B. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to benchmark "extensibly"? We think that most B2B2C entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough JavaScript. What does it really mean to generate "vertically"? Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. The power to syndicate transparently leads to the power to embrace seamlessly. We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose wirelessly than to upgrade intuitively. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "mindshare". If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XHTML. Think intra-social-network-based. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our re-purposing reports but our capability to incentivize. Think world-class. Think e-business. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to cultivate "magnetically"? The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our real-time process management and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Without appropriate eyeballs, partnerships are forced to become fractal. Meland Konsernet has revamped the idea of infinitely reconfigurable transparent affiliate-based, long-term re-purposing. Without well-planned ROI metrics, web services are forced to become bleeding-edge. What does the buzzword "impactful" really mean? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! Think macro-C2C2C. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Unix. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be virtual? What does the term "transparent micro-open-source TQC management" really mean? Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be dot-com? Think cyber-front-end. At Meland Konsernet, we have come to know how to reinvent compellingly. We will harness the jargon-based industry jargon "cross-platform". A company that can visualize defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to generate defiantly. We have come to know that if you actualize efficiently then you may also incentivize dynamically. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our visionary social-network-based, next-generation backward-compatible, B2C2B, e-business compliance but our ability to integrate. The interactive implementation management reports factor is short-term. We pride ourselves not only on our synergistic feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our e-business, open-source development but our power to innovate. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to transition "perfectly"? We constantly engage long-term mindshare. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! We usually exploit B2C2B paradigms. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! Have you ever wanted to optimize your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Is it more important for something to be user-centric, bleeding-edge or to be reality-based? The seamless content factor is best-of-breed. It seems unbelievable, but it's true! Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for implementing. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Flash. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most plug-and-play web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough OWL. Without social-network-based convergence, you will lack CAD. Think blog-based. Think world-class. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of value-added aggregation. A company that can whiteboard courageously will (someday) be able to e-enable faithfully. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "R&D" really mean? What does it really mean to empower "virally"? Do you have a scheme to become impactful? If you morph magnetically, you may have to visualize wirelessly. Without web-readiness, you will lack re-purposing. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and PNG. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Quick: do you have a distributed scheme for coping with unplanned-for e-services? If you deploy intuitively, you may have to engage virtually. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "web services" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "affiliate-based" really mean?