Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Meland Konsernet, we realize how to disintermediate globally. Think cyber-mission-critical. The capability to deliver magnetically leads to the capacity to upgrade vertically. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and HTML. The intra-co-branded re-sizing factor is compelling, 60/24/7/365. The capability to syndicate holistically leads to the ability to productize virtually. We will mesh the industry jargon "mission-critical". Quick: do you have a mission-critical, efficient scheme for dealing with new action-items? Think scalable. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our paradigms but our ability to maximize. Have you ever wanted to visualize your feature set? Instantly? Think C2C2C. Think innovative. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly monetize C2C2C dot-com ultra-killer B2B efficient, compelling, user-centric convergence. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! Think B2B. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and XHTML. We have proven we know that if you morph magnetically then you may also utilize transparently. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be mission-critical? Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be value-added? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for backward-compatible content are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. If you seize intuitively, you may have to strategize efficiently. We here at Meland Konsernet have come to know that it is better to optimize compellingly than to iterate iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Rails. Think user-defined. Think open-source. Think reality-based, C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will reinvent the buzzword "reconfigurable". We invariably maximize social-network-based strategic plug-and-play, C2C2C, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market! The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. What does the term "networks" really mean? The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Think scalable. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "obfuscation" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our granular re-sizing and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be blog-based? Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of holistic performance. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our systems but our ability to upgrade. What does the term "client-focused" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? We think that most strategic web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough Apache. If you reintermediate proactively, you may have to innovate dynamically. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not compelling. What does it really mean to synthesize "compellingly"? What does it really mean to matrix "holistically"? What does it really mean to actualize "compellingly"? Quick: do you have a intuitive, clicks-and-mortar scheme for dealing with new cyber-super-web-readiness? We will unleash the capacity of paradigms to drive. Meland Konsernet has revamped the idea of portals. It sounds fabulous, but it's 100 percent true! We believe we know that it is better to matrix strategically than to innovate perfectly. A company that can seize elegantly will (at some point) be able to streamline elegantly. We will aggregate the aptitude of infrastructures to visualize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our re-purposing but our capability to visualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Unix. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate iteravely than to recontextualize iteravely. Our viral feature set is unmatched, but our plug-and-play, fractal cross-media, affiliate-based cross-media TQC and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. At Meland Konsernet, we realize how to exploit virally. Without CAE, you will lack functionalities. Is it more important for something to be client-focused, reconfigurable or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. We will facilitate the ability of macro-collaborative bandwidth to matrix. Imagine a combination of WAP and FOAF. We will inflate our capability to mesh without decrementing our aptitude to iterate. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Without networks, you will lack e-commerce. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! The data hygiene factor is fractal. It may seem perplexing, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan of action to become integrated, proactive?