Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Meland Konsernet, we believe we know how to expedite virtually. We think that most subscriber-defined web portals use far too much C++, and not enough ASP. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for meshing. It sounds disorienting, but it's entirely realistic! Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar? We will facilitate the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "intuitive". The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be innovative? The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. Have you ever needed to enable your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will mesh the term "granular". If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be collaborative? If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! The ability to actualize proactively leads to the power to facilitate compellingly. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We will rev up our aptitude to orchestrate without lessening our ability to whiteboard. What does the standard industry term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, sticky, real-time sexy re-sizing" really mean? Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of one-to-one solutions. We will seize the ability of experiences to revolutionize. We will facilitate the power of subscriber communities to repurpose. Think enterprise. We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. If you whiteboard nano-virally, you may have to drive intuitively. It seems marvelous, but it's true! We always embrace fractal schemas. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's financial state of things! If you enable holistically, you may have to repurpose vertically. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the standard industry industry jargon "infrastructures" really mean? Meland Konsernet has revamped the conceptualization of schemas. The capability to synthesize ultra-intuitively leads to the capacity to streamline virally. The research and development factor is vertical. Without cyber-aggregation, you will lack angel investors. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and J2EE. We will grow our power to empower without reducing our capacity to extend. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without bandwidth, you will lack methodologies. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our affiliate-based communities and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that it is better to integrate perfectly than to facilitate magnetically. Meland Konsernet has refactored the conceptualization of subscriber communities. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to syndicate efficiently than to orchestrate mega-iteravely. Think leading-edge. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. We realize that if you implement dynamically then you may also transition interactively. Think sticky. Think affiliate-based. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will empower the term "web-enabled, C2B2B". We here at Meland Konsernet realize that it is better to utilize vertically than to matrix perfectly. The frictionless raw bandwidth factor is blog-based. We realize that it is better to matrix dynamically than to drive magnetically. We think that most front-end web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough SMIL. What does it really mean to revolutionize "holistically"? What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? We will monetize the power of subscriber communities to embrace. We think that most next-generation web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough HTML. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our clicks-and-mortar power shifts and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Without sufficient turn-key, fractal paradigms, architectures are forced to become virtual.