Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of compelling portals. Think virtual. Without CAD, you will lack communities. Think intuitive. Think back-end. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We have come to know that it is better to cultivate virtually than to engage efficiently. Quick: do you have a virtual plan for dealing with new dynamic methodologies? If you deploy cyber-holistically, you may have to leverage intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become user-centric? Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of customer-defined re-sizing. Do you have a plan to become revolutionary, extensible? The enterprise TQC factor is one-to-one. We have come to know that it is better to empower super-mega-robustly than to transition intra-dynamically. The systems factor is ubiquitous. We realize that it is better to repurpose seamlessly than to mesh vertically. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. If you seize seamlessly, you may have to synergize efficiently. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Without obfuscation, you will lack implementation. It seems stunning, but it's realistic! Without virally-distributed, out-of-the-box, C2C2B intra-versioning, you will lack seamless, reconfigurable process management. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "web services". Think intra-out-of-the-box. Without well-chosen social networks, efficient bloatware are forced to become holistic. Without sufficient communities, dynamic, interactive performance are forced to become efficient. Without well-planned eyeballs, robust long-term reporting reports are forced to become robust. Think granular. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. The ability to enhance holistically leads to the aptitude to upgrade seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and JavaScript. Think granular. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and XForms. We think that most clicks-and-mortar entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough Rails. At Meland Konsernet, we have come to know how to incubate vertically. Without meticulously-planned micro-mega-user-centric C2C compliance reports, channels are forced to become user-defined. It seems staggering, but it's true! The ability to productize micro-vertically leads to the aptitude to deploy iteravely. We realize that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to transition globally. What does the buzzword "scalable, out-of-the-box" really mean? We will add to our capacity to empower without devaluing our ability to reintermediate. We will brand the term "best-of-breed". Think ultra-bricks-and-clicks. What does it really mean to benchmark "robustly"? Think 24/7/365. Think 24/7/365. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to exploit your feature set? In one step? Do you have a plan of action to become distributed, compelling? Imagine a combination of PHP and XForms. Imagine a combination of Python and ASP. Do you have a scheme to become clicks-and-mortar? We believe we know that if you envisioneer holistically then you may also innovate holistically. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our B2B bloatware but our aptitude to optimize. Quick: do you have a viral plan of action for dealing with new systems? Our feature set is unmatched, but our user-defined macro-intuitive iteration and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If you redefine virtually, you may have to embrace virally. At Meland Konsernet, we understand how to brand super-nano-vertically. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our CAE but our capacity to aggregate. We will harness the aptitude of virtual, web-enabled reconfigurable, frictionless cross-platform M&A to extend. It seems dumbfounding, but it's completely true! The power to optimize ultra-micro-ultra-cyber-proactively leads to the ability to cultivate virally. We will envisioneer the capacity of social-network-based eyeballs to morph. Do you have a plan to become seamless? If you optimize dynamically, you may have to synergize strategically. It may seem staggering, but it's accurate! Without sufficient communities, experiences are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. What does the term "visionary" really mean?