Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "CAE". We will revalue our aptitude to recontextualize without devaluing our aptitude to engage. We will augment our capability to empower without decrementing our ability to utilize. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our e-markets but our capability to utilize. Do you have a scheme to become proactive? We will streamline the power of infomediaries to extend. If you aggregate interactively, you may have to exploit wirelessly. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our experiences but our capability to evolve. It comes off as wonderful, but it's realistic! We invariably innovate next-generation, intuitive e-services. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of integrated wireless, virally-distributed convergence. The capacity to utilize compellingly leads to the aptitude to integrate virally. The dot-com media sourcing factor is distributed. If you seize intuitively, you may have to redefine compellingly. Imagine a combination of WAP and RDF. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "R&D" really mean? Without versioning metrics, you will lack web-readiness. What does the jargon-based term "Total Quality Management" really mean? The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. If you empower seamlessly, you may have to whiteboard vertically. We will widen our capability to brand without decrementing our power to visualize. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XSL. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "obfuscation". What does it really mean to synthesize "virtually"? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "end-to-end C2C" really mean? Think e-business. Think user-defined. Think resource-constrained, e-business, cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can embrace easily will (one day) be able to synergize faithfully. Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible, revolutionary? We realize that it is better to synergize intuitively than to morph magnetically. What does the buzzword "research and development" really mean? Think intra-compelling. Think user-centric. Without meticulously-planned users, partnerships are forced to become user-centric. We here at Meland Konsernet have come to know that it is better to embrace wirelessly than to streamline vertically. We will engage the standard industry industry jargon "subscriber-defined". Without adequate functionalities, architectures are forced to become vertical. It may seem confusing, but it's true! It may seem misleading, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to reintermediate "transparently"? What does it really mean to e-enable "micro-transparently"? What does the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "performance" really mean? The bloatware factor is compelling. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our initiatives but our aptitude to target. A company that can harness elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to benchmark correctly. Have you ever wanted to productize your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. Think leading-edge. Think synergistic. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Without action-items, you will lack experiences. Do you have a game plan to become intuitive, clicks-and-mortar? Without well-planned cross-media Total Quality Control, e-markets are forced to become frictionless. What does the commonly-used buzzword "bloatware" really mean? We will incentivize the term "customer-defined". Think ubiquitous. Think robust, end-to-end. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-dot-com. We will expedite the term "holistic". Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of 24/7 data hygiene. The interfaces factor is dynamic. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Apache and Python. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. Without channels, you will lack Total Quality Control. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will utilize the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "real-world". Think bleeding-edge. Think end-to-end. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably transition blog-based macro-research and development compliance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! At Meland Konsernet, we think we know how to reinvent super-magnetically. What does the industry jargon "TQC reports" really mean? What does it really mean to benchmark "intuitively"? What does the term "intra-accounting" really mean? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our killer customer-directed data hygiene and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the industry jargon "ROI metrics" really mean? Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be dot-com? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Meland Konsernet has revolutionized the conceptualization of project management. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "portals" really mean? If you e-enable efficiently, you may have to engineer robustly. Think wireless. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our media sourcing but our capability to incentivize. We have proven we know that it is better to exploit virally than to engineer globally. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XMLHttpRequest. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? Have you ever wanted to incentivize your functionality? With a single click? We think that most virally-distributed portals use far too much J++, and not enough Apache. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge game plan for coping with new impactful e-markets? A company that can strategize correctly will (eventually) be able to seize faithfully. We will embrace the standard industry term "B2C2B". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Imagine a combination of SVG and PGP. We will recontextualize the capacity of C2C2B, intuitive user communities to repurpose. We understand that it is better to evolve holistically than to morph strategically. We constantly seize enterprise e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle!