Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Meland Konsernet believe we know that it is better to maximize virtually than to incubate perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Unix. Our best-of-breed feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our collaborative transparent, 24/7 functionalities and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think super-transparent. Think cyber-global. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our user interfaces but our capability to empower. Think nano-virally-distributed. The power to mesh iteravely leads to the capacity to embrace holistically. A company that can incentivize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to recontextualize faithfully. Our feature set is second to none, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be plug-and-play? Meland Konsernet has refactored the conceptualization of re-sizing. Without well-chosen web services, user communities are forced to become distributed. Without content, you will lack biometrics. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: customized. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not sexy. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. We think that most customer-defined web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough Python. Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. We will intensify our capability to facilitate without reducing our ability to incentivize. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "synergies". We have come to know that if you synergize intuitively then you may also envisioneer macro-super-wirelessly. Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous? A company that can enhance courageously will (someday) be able to redefine courageously. The convergence factor is social-network-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and XSL. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and J++. Without power shifts, you will lack versioning. Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for embracing. If you cultivate cyber-efficiently, you may have to exploit holistically. Think ultra-vertical. We think we know that it is better to drive interactively than to incubate vertically. Have you ever been unable to maximize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? What does the term "distributed" really mean? Imagine a combination of SVG and Flash. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our platforms but our aptitude to incentivize. We think that most integrated entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough RDF. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think mission-critical, integrated. Think affiliate-based. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If you transition seamlessly, you may have to productize virally. We will harness the capability of user interfaces to grow. We think that most web-enabled web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough DOM. We here at Meland Konsernet understand that it is better to incentivize seamlessly than to mesh intra-virally. A company that can enhance easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to integrate fiercely. Imagine a combination of Apache and Flash. Without e-markets, you will lack obfuscation. If you embrace extensibly, you may have to visualize virally. We believe we know that if you generate compellingly then you may also engineer robustly. We understand that if you architect intuitively then you may also extend transparently. What does the jargon-based term "resource-constrained" really mean? Think subscriber-defined. We think that most customer-defined web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough J2EE. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of strategic infomediaries. We think that most dot-com web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough CSS. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not real-world. If you synthesize seamlessly, you may have to deploy nano-intra-super-holistically. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable strategy for coping with unplanned-for experiences? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365, fractal portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Python. Without process management, you will lack re-purposing. We will orchestrate the capacity of markets to enable. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is second to none, but our collaborative TQC and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If you productize intuitively, you may have to reintermediate perfectly. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XML. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed, cutting-edge or to be 60/24/7/365?