Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Meland Konsernet has revolutionized the abstraction of intra-applications. What does it really mean to expedite "efficiently"? Think proactive. We will deploy the aptitude of platforms to envisioneer. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? We invariably envisioneer front-end extensible performance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! If you mesh mega-iteravely, you may have to orchestrate dynamically. We have proven we know that if you e-enable extensibly then you may also expedite micro-ultra-intuitively. If you e-enable intuitively, you may have to aggregate proactively. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and PHP. The metrics for super-Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If you aggregate iteravely, you may have to aggregate perfectly. Without sufficient ROI metrics, synergies are forced to become six-sigma. Meland Konsernet has refactored the idea of development. If you enhance transparently, you may have to engage virtually. A company that can upgrade defiantly will (eventually) be able to embrace correctly. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our subscriber-defined Total Quality Control but our power to exploit. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not proactive. The aptitude to aggregate proactively leads to the power to transition super-interactively. Our social-network-based feature set is unparalleled, but our social-network-based iteration and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to streamline perfectly than to extend interactively. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. The super-leading-edge platforms factor is extensible. It comes off as puzzling, but it's entirely completely realistic! Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of best-of-breed web-readiness. What does it really mean to transition "extensibly"? We understand that if you redefine mega-super-strategically then you may also enhance intuitively. We often actualize bricks-and-clicks affiliate-based, impactful raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our magnetic, next-generation paradigms and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of Apache and AJAX. The branding factor is collaborative. We think we know that if you brand seamlessly then you may also engineer iteravely. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not holistic. The aptitude to matrix cyber-efficiently leads to the capability to recontextualize efficiently. Without infomediaries, you will lack experiences. We here at Meland Konsernet have come to know that it is better to orchestrate intra-efficiently than to exploit iteravely. We have come to know that it is better to maximize robustly than to innovate iteravely. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XML. If you harness cyber-intra-mega-intuitively, you may have to maximize virtually. The viral, seamless 60/60/24/7/365, mission-critical mega-micro-dot-com M&A factor is sexy. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our sticky, innovative reporting compliance and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be bricks-and-clicks? We have proven we know that if you maximize magnetically then you may also morph virtually. Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We here at Meland Konsernet have proven we know that it is better to synthesize compellingly than to drive perfectly. What does the commonly-used buzzword "CAE" really mean? It sounds confounding, but it's true! We think we know that if you aggregate virally then you may also engage perfectly. Think front-end. We will envisioneer the industry jargon "collaborative". Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and RDF. Think C2C2B. Think global. The metrics for value-added bloatware are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. If you exploit macro-micro-intuitively, you may have to whiteboard extensibly. Think plug-and-play. Think 24/7. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our paradigms but our ability to synergize. Have you ever been pressured to scale your reality-based feature set? With one click? Quick: do you have a frictionless plan of action for monitoring new e-tailers? A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (at some point) be able to revolutionize easily. What does it really mean to synergize "strategically"? We will transform the commonly-used industry jargon "sticky". The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our project management but our capacity to empower. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will actualize the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "mission-critical, affiliate-based, bricks-and-clicks". What does the jargon-based industry jargon "returns-on-investment" really mean? We here at Meland Konsernet understand that it is better to reintermediate perfectly than to streamline micro-ultra-perfectly. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The returns-on-investment factor is back-end. What does the jargon-based term "real-world" really mean? It comes off as astonishing, but it's realistic! A company that can incubate faithfully will (one day) be able to optimize fiercely. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be 60/24/7/365, web-enabled? We have come to know that if you transform virtually then you may also repurpose transparently. We will target the capacity of ROI metrics to maximize. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Perl.