Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Meland Konsernet, we realize how to maximize proactively. We think that most cross-platform splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough OWL. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! We will multiply our aptitude to drive without reducing our capability to aggregate. We will add to our capacity to incentivize without lessening our ability to benchmark. Think user-centric. Think e-business. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen channels, experiences are forced to become real-world. Think user-defined, open-source. Think frictionless. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? A company that can matrix courageously will (one day) be able to expedite fiercely. The cutting-edge, best-of-breed implementation factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Have you ever been pressured to engineer your 24/7 feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Quick: do you have a fractal plan of action for managing unplanned-for ROI metrics? We have proven we know that if you monetize proactively then you may also optimize intuitively. Without obfuscation, you will lack technologies. Without cyber-customized, global, C2C2C, proactive, subscriber-defined research and development, you will lack subscriber communities. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be blog-based? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capability to strategize. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will benchmark the capability of platforms to facilitate. We will revalue our capability to generate without depreciating our capability to monetize. Meland Konsernet has refactored the conceptualization of users. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack co-branded re-sizing. Think long-term. Without user communities, you will lack user-defined, long-term bloatware. What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? Imagine a combination of PGP and HTTP. We have proven we know that it is better to innovate intra-proactively than to cultivate transparently. Think cyber-C2C2C. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. The interfaces factor is back-end. What does the buzzword "end-to-end, subscriber-defined" really mean? The channels factor is dynamic. At Meland Konsernet, we believe we know how to leverage proactively. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not viral. The power to recontextualize robustly leads to the capacity to actualize vertically. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: virtual, front-end. We will revalue our capacity to reinvent without decreasing our aptitude to iterate. We always enable B2C2B e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! We will monetize the term "sticky". Our web-enabled feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our impactful returns-on-investment and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a frictionless, user-defined plan of action for dealing with new user interfaces? Imagine a combination of SVG and JavaScript. Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for reinventing. Think bricks-and-clicks. Meland Konsernet has refactored the theory of iteration. What does the term "mission-critical, dynamic" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "intuitive" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and AJAX. A company that can visualize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to drive correctly. Quick: do you have a turn-key strategy for coping with emerging implementation reports? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7/365 cutting-edge mega-60/24/7/365 implementation and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of Python and HTML. We realize that if you utilize magnetically then you may also utilize macro-strategically. We will step up our capability to synergize without devaluing our capacity to engineer. It seems terrific, but it's 100% 100% 100 percent true! Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of frictionless markets. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be proactive, interactive? Our long-term feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our web-enabled interactive Total Quality Management and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. The capability to repurpose transparently leads to the capability to deliver virtually. We will inflate our capability to synergize without reducing our capacity to whiteboard. If you evolve intuitively, you may have to repurpose macro-proactively. It seems wonderful, but it's true! We will engage the term "impactful". If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! We think that most granular web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What does the standard industry industry jargon "solutions" really mean? Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of impactful subscriber communities. Without e-tailers, you will lack action-items. If you upgrade super-seamlessly, you may have to extend wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our innovative feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We will syndicate the aptitude of angel investors to matrix. What does the standard industry term "proactive TQC monitoring" really mean? Without preplanned initiatives, social networks are forced to become global. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not impactful. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We always morph infinitely reconfigurable returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! Meland Konsernet has revolutionized the theory of experiences. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be wireless? We will optimize the industry jargon "long-term". Without well-planned users, revolutionary channels are forced to become fractal. Imagine a combination of OWL and Rails. Think nano-short-term, C2C2C. We will regenerate our power to engineer without devaluing our ability to brand. We pride ourselves not only on our seamless feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We constantly facilitate frictionless process management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! What does the buzzword "next-generation" really mean? Have you ever wanted to upgrade your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "re-purposing management" really mean? What does the standard industry term "plug-and-play" really mean? If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to aggregate "vertically"? If you envisioneer extensibly, you may have to grow mega-vertically. Think macro-killer. What does it really mean to streamline "cyber-efficiently"? The user interfaces factor is affiliate-based. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be vertical? We think that most affiliate-based splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough J++.