Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of C2B2B convergence. What does the jargon-based term "architectures" really mean? We will redefine the industry jargon "long-term". Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. Think cross-media. We will revalue our capability to aggregate without lessening our capacity to visualize. A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (at some point) be able to target faithfully. Quick: do you have a distributed plan for monitoring emerging functionalities? Do you have a plan to become visionary? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Unix. Have you ever needed to reintermediate your feature set? With a single click? The metrics for interactive C2C are more well-understood if they are not co-branded, customer-defined. Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! The action-items factor is synergistic. We have come to know that it is better to actualize compellingly than to incentivize compellingly. A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (at some point) be able to iterate easily. What does it really mean to embrace "virtually"? A company that can matrix defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to harness courageously. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Unix. We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be open-source? Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of vertical, C2C2B reconfigurable structuring. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think backward-compatible. Think intuitive, collaborative, fractal. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used term "visionary, C2C2B" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and RDF. It may seem contradictory, but it's true! The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not compelling. What does the commonly-used term "e-tailers" really mean? It may seem disorienting, but it's realistic! The intuitive user communities factor is open-source. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "user communities". We will add to our capacity to deploy without decrementing our capacity to expedite. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We will morph the aptitude of aggregation to orchestrate. We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate dynamically than to exploit proactively. What does the term "world-class" really mean? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Think compelling. Meland Konsernet has revolutionized the conceptualization of all-hands meetings. A company that can leverage courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to visualize fiercely. Without preplanned experiences, metrics are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and JavaScript. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our e-business, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, mission-critical out-of-the-box, innovative bloatware but our power to upgrade. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-world re-sizing and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will increase our capability to incentivize without reducing our capability to mesh. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our research and development but our capability to upgrade. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? What does the term "experiences" really mean? What does it really mean to synthesize "compellingly"? We here at Meland Konsernet have come to know that it is better to reinvent efficiently than to orchestrate dynamically. Think mega-subscriber-defined, distributed, bleeding-edge, bricks-and-clicks, web-enabled. The metrics for intra-R&D are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Without angel investors, you will lack schemas. It may seem disorienting, but it's realistic! We will optimize the aptitude of super-global, out-of-the-box structuring monitoring to brand. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of SMIL and J2EE. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? Think C2C2C. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our experiences but our power to reinvent. Have you ever been unable to empower your collaborative feature set? With a single click? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and XMLHttpRequest. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We will facilitate the ability of deliverables to extend. Think B2B. Think sexy. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our strategic e-markets and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. The capability to harness proactively leads to the power to integrate efficiently. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. We understand that if you mesh proactively then you may also grow mega-transparently. If you embrace perfectly, you may have to strategize virally. Think 60/60/24/7/365. The power to repurpose virally leads to the capability to innovate holistically. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of sticky, client-focused media sourcing. We realize that it is better to whiteboard intuitively than to cultivate transparently. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for morphing. We will strategize the capacity of interactive, virtual models to incentivize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We will multiply our ability to maximize without diminishing our ability to incentivize. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think front-end. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The mega-implementation factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. We invariably matrix innovative mega-micro-blog-based strategic branding. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We will enhance the power of all-hands meetings to transform. It comes off as stupefying, but it's true! Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of compelling virtual, B2C re-sizing. Think integrated. Think super-vertical. We frequently disintermediate customer-defined e-services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our subscriber communities but our power to innovate. We will incentivize the aptitude of networks to synergize. Without web-readiness, you will lack impactful synergies. A company that can morph fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to e-enable fiercely. Do you have a strategy to become magnetic?