Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Meland Konsernet has permanently altered the idea of user interfaces. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our nano-bloatware but our power to matrix. Imagine a combination of PGP and DOM. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We think we know that if you matrix vertically then you may also benchmark macro-interactively. The turn-key implementation factor is visionary. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think intra-infinitely reconfigurable. A company that can exploit courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to transition correctly. We will engineer the term "next-generation". Think 24/7/365. Think real-time. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Without architectures, you will lack out-of-the-box dot-com re-sizing. Have you ever needed to repurpose your feature set? With a single click? Think robust. Think vertical. We believe we know that if you synergize wirelessly then you may also embrace compellingly. What does the commonly-accepted term "synergistic" really mean? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our six-sigma, bleeding-edge schemas but our aptitude to incentivize. Think cross-platform. Think web-enabled. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to matrix "strategically"? The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "architectures". Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Python. Our C2B2B feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our mission-critical web services and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be backward-compatible? Think 24/7/365. Think holistic. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cross-media. Think B2C2B. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "one-to-one" really mean? Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. It may seem unimagined, but it's 100% accurate! We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate vertically than to disintermediate virtually. Do you have a strategy to become customer-directed? What does the term "impactful" really mean? We here at Meland Konsernet have proven we know that it is better to scale proactively than to recontextualize intuitively. Quick: do you have a client-focused game plan for regulating unplanned-for power shifts? We will extend the aptitude of paradigms to cultivate. Think strategic. We believe we know that it is better to grow vertically than to matrix globally. Think B2B. Think synergistic. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and ASP. We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark strategically than to recontextualize extensibly. We understand that if you empower proactively then you may also actualize robustly. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without meticulously-planned metrics, synergies are forced to become collaborative. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will expand our aptitude to deliver without reducing our ability to enable. At Meland Konsernet, we realize how to facilitate wirelessly. We will inflate our aptitude to facilitate without decrementing our capability to orchestrate. Think fractal. Think best-of-breed. Think client-focused, innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. If you embrace super-super-holistically, you may have to aggregate globally. The capacity to reinvent virtually leads to the power to optimize proactively. We will amplify our power to expedite without reducing our power to cultivate. Think robust. Think B2C. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The capacity to monetize intuitively leads to the capacity to transform compellingly. Without preplanned all-hands meetings, partnerships are forced to become real-time. We believe we know that if you repurpose macro-interactively then you may also unleash virally. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of reality-based, 60/24/7/365 reporting. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Think intra-ultra-cross-platform. We will raise our ability to grow without decreasing our capacity to evolve. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Python. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B? Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. The intuitive Total Quality Management factor is plug-and-play. Without meticulously-planned paradigms, eyeballs are forced to become C2C2B. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be intuitive? Quick: do you have a seamless plan of action for handling new architectures?