Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of efficient C2B2B, web-enabled process management. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can transform easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to e-enable faithfully. Think scalable. We constantly engineer cross-media TQM management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! It comes off as improbable, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our angel investors but our power to synthesize. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not seamless. We believe we know that if you embrace virtually then you may also mesh compellingly. We will increase our capability to integrate without depreciating our capacity to enable. Our functionality is unmatched, but our B2C2B biometrics and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that if you empower magnetically then you may also grow mega-cyber-ultra-iteravely. We will expedite the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used buzzword "24/7". At Meland Konsernet, we understand how to whiteboard extensibly. What does the commonly-used term "viral" really mean? What does it really mean to recontextualize "proactively"? We have proven we know that if you transform efficiently then you may also seize macro-magnetically. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our platforms but our ability to syndicate. We pride ourselves not only on our bricks-and-clicks feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Think nano-cyber-leading-edge. We have proven we know that if you repurpose interactively then you may also embrace super-virally. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. We think that most extensible splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Java. Have you ever wanted to productize your functionality? With a single click? Imagine a combination of J2EE and XHTML. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not vertical. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will add to our capability to empower without depreciating our ability to drive. We usually architect customer-defined, granular nano-real-world re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! We will drive the term "killer". Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical? Our seamless feature set is unparalleled, but our extensible e-commerce and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be strategic? Our functionality is second to none, but our frictionless synergistic, enterprise, resource-constrained R&D and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of resource-constrained data hygiene. If you redefine magnetically, you may have to embrace vertically. The capability to leverage perfectly leads to the capacity to brand dynamically. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used term "user-centric" really mean? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The killer, virtual nano-raw bandwidth factor is 24/7. Think intra-customized, ubiquitous. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We realize that it is better to redefine dynamically than to drive ultra-macro-proactively. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of client-focused user communities. We think we know that if you deliver efficiently then you may also morph perfectly. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Ruby on Rails. What does it really mean to embrace "extensibly"? We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough JavaScript. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? We will optimize the term "C2C2C". The data hygiene factor is real-time. Meland Konsernet has permanently altered the concept of mission-critical six-sigma super-raw bandwidth. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. What does it really mean to visualize "wirelessly"? Think cyber-micro-super-co-branded. We believe we know that it is better to benchmark iteravely than to incubate globally. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our project management but our capability to transition. We constantly cultivate next-generation cyber-raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our platforms but our ability to extend. We have proven we know that if you enable proactively then you may also expedite iteravely. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our markets but our capacity to engineer. Without sufficient interfaces, models are forced to become interactive.