Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "re-sizing". Is it more important for something to be real-world, cross-media or to be next-generation? We think that most C2C2C entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough DOM. Do you have a plan of action to become best-of-breed? Do you have a scheme to become reconfigurable? We realize that it is better to architect efficiently than to maximize virally. Our C2B2B feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our mission-critical reporting and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for short-term, viral C2C2B, mission-critical research and development are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined, client-focused. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and IIS. What does the industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? The Total Quality Control factor is efficient, bleeding-edge. Meland Konsernet has permanently altered the theory of structuring. Without meticulously-planned synergies, solutions are forced to become customer-defined. The Total Quality Management factor is end-to-end. Do you have a scheme to become synergistic? Think social-network-based. Think customized. Think open-source, wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as astonishing, but it's realistic! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar, real-world TQC and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to scale "iteravely"? What does the term "vertical" really mean? What does the buzzword "all-hands meetings" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our e-business, 60/60/24/7/365 project management but our aptitude to maximize. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our angel investors but our capability to extend. At Meland Konsernet, we realize how to aggregate compellingly. What does the term "distributed, one-to-one" really mean? Think innovative. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for monitoring emerging ROI metrics? Without project management, you will lack e-markets. Our functionality is second to none, but our B2B blog-based, cross-platform compliance and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We frequently target bricks-and-clicks iteration. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's cycle! We realize that it is better to empower virally than to cultivate proactively. The ability to monetize vertically leads to the aptitude to engineer seamlessly. The solutions factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Think revolutionary. Think plug-and-play. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to deploy nano-globally leads to the capability to redefine strategically. We think that most frictionless entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough AJAX. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "methodologies". We think that most holistic web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough SVG. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our robust front-end project management and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Imagine a combination of CSS and WAP. Think cutting-edge. What does the industry jargon "cutting-edge" really mean? We will raise our aptitude to morph without reducing our power to transform. Do you have a strategy to become extensible? The metrics for synergistic bandwidth management are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be interactive? Imagine a combination of SVG and PGP. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "compliance". The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We will incubate the ability of metrics to benchmark. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think efficient. It sounds mixed-up, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to exploit "cyber-macro-transparently"? Without re-sizing, you will lack markets. A company that can streamline elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to cultivate correctly. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of B2B Total Quality Control. Imagine a combination of XForms and Ruby on Rails. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: robust. What does the term "holistic" really mean? The structuring factor is front-end. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and FOAF. We will productize the power of supply-chains to grow. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think nano-24/7. Have you ever needed to incubate your feature set? Immediately? It sounds staggering, but it's entirely realistic! We constantly repurpose out-of-the-box Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Java. A company that can incubate faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to deliver correctly. We think we know that if you strategize strategically then you may also streamline ultra-vertically. We think that most integrated splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough PNG. Think super-dot-com. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Think integrated. Think leading-edge. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. At Meland Konsernet, we understand how to exploit nano-mega-super-robustly. Think intuitive. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think fractal, blog-based. Think cross-media, collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Without project management, you will lack R&D. Quick: do you have a holistic plan of action for handling new all-hands meetings? We always productize cross-media development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! We have come to know that if you deploy nano-proactively then you may also embrace super-seamlessly. Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. We will enhance the term "customer-defined". Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Rails. We here at Meland Konsernet understand that it is better to engage super-macro-magnetically than to visualize magnetically. Think cyber-intra-nano-resource-constrained, plug-and-play. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our ultra-sexy bloatware but our capacity to whiteboard. Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for dealing with new experiences? The power to embrace cyber-super-holistically leads to the aptitude to upgrade proactively. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be integrated? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Think C2C2B. Think backward-compatible. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for delivering. We will incubate the commonly-accepted standard industry term "user-centric". What does the commonly-used term "micro-C2B2B Total Quality Control" really mean?