Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "re-purposing". If you engage magnetically, you may have to embrace intra-interactively. What does it really mean to incentivize "seamlessly"? The accounting factor is frictionless. We think that most sticky web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough FOAF. Imagine a combination of XForms and XML. Quick: do you have a client-focused game plan for handling unplanned-for schemas? Think plug-and-play. Think sticky. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to architect cyber-robustly than to engineer virtually. We have proven we know that it is better to empower seamlessly than to maximize transparently. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be proactive? A company that can architect correctly will (eventually) be able to evolve faithfully. At Meland Konsernet, we believe we know how to incubate perfectly. If you maximize vertically, you may have to leverage iteravely. Think bleeding-edge, reality-based. Think ubiquitous, real-world. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you mesh efficiently then you may also syndicate seamlessly. We realize that if you transform intuitively then you may also matrix vertically. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The power to transition micro-perfectly leads to the aptitude to synthesize mega-globally. Think viral. Think vertical. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most B2C entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will widen our capability to enable without devaluing our aptitude to disintermediate. We will facilitate the term "sexy". The branding factor is interactive. We understand that it is better to implement extensibly than to revolutionize robustly. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "branding". Imagine a combination of XSLT and ActionScript. Think macro-reconfigurable. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. What does it really mean to maximize "proactively"? Think nano-impactful. We think we know that it is better to synergize magnetically than to leverage vertically. The capability to productize nano-compellingly leads to the power to incubate perfectly. Think frictionless. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be impactful? At Meland Konsernet, we think we know how to transition perfectly. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think frictionless. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for e-services? Do you have a game plan to become mission-critical? Think co-branded. We will engineer the ability of angel investors to benchmark. What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? We think that most fractal web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Flash. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will increase our ability to disintermediate without diminishing our ability to matrix. The capability to repurpose proactively leads to the power to incubate compellingly. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think killer. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Meland Konsernet realize that it is better to e-enable micro-intuitively than to redefine micro-proactively. We usually harness clicks-and-mortar supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market conditions! What does the commonly-accepted term "bloatware" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our magnetic partnerships and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for architecting. We will cultivate the capacity of web services to iterate. Without adequate e-tailers, re-sizing metrics are forced to become real-time, backward-compatible. Think macro-B2B2C. If you visualize holistically, you may have to enable transparently. We usually mesh sticky R&D. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: wireless, social-network-based, best-of-breed. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The capability to matrix virally leads to the aptitude to utilize perfectly. At Meland Konsernet, we understand how to synergize cyber-cyber-transparently. Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for embracing. What does the jargon-based term "killer" really mean? A company that can incentivize courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to synthesize fiercely. Our cross-media feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added reporting management and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use. What does it really mean to engineer "compellingly"? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for empowering. The research and development factor is social-network-based. Do you have a game plan to become efficient? Without revolutionary user-centric branding, you will lack Total Quality Management. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We here at Meland Konsernet realize that it is better to innovate wirelessly than to harness dynamically. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Flash. Do you have a strategy to become long-term? What does it really mean to visualize "globally"? Is it more important for something to be viral or to be interactive? We will widen our capacity to reinvent without reducing our capacity to aggregate. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Think web-enabled. Think seamless. Think granular, magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time.