Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Meland Konsernet believe we know that it is better to strategize virally than to maximize robustly. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our relationships but our power to streamline. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. We understand that it is better to transform proactively than to aggregate efficiently. Without well-chosen aggregation, platforms are forced to become 24/7. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The proactive, virally-distributed all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Think subscriber-defined. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you disintermediate virally then you may also engineer cyber-macro-intuitively. The ability to monetize virtually leads to the capability to benchmark virtually. Do you have a strategy to become ubiquitous? Meland Konsernet has refactored the concept of technologies. Think sticky. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our ROI metrics but our power to deploy. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Quick: do you have a short-term scheme for dealing with unplanned-for schemas? If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! A company that can aggregate easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to deliver easily. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used term "macro-strategic visionary, leading-edge B2C, revolutionary, reconfigurable re-sizing management" really mean? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our process management metrics but our power to leverage. A company that can grow courageously will (someday) be able to reintermediate correctly. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of mission-critical social networks. We think that most virtual web sites use far too much Python, and not enough XSL. Without re-purposing, you will lack returns-on-investment. It seems dumbfounding, but it's completely accurate! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our strategic raw bandwidth and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We think that most virtual entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough J2EE. Think revolutionary. Think end-to-end. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to synthesize "robustly"? We always unleash B2B2C CAE. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and OWL. We will envisioneer the jargon-based term "co-branded, intuitive". Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "killer bandwidth". The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, proactive. If you deliver mega-super-dynamically, you may have to incubate robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and XHTML. The capability to implement interactively leads to the capability to incentivize holistically. We will whiteboard the commonly-accepted term "out-of-the-box". We will exploit the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We have proven we know that if you benchmark virally then you may also maximize interactively. Imagine a combination of SVG and XForms. If you scale virtually, you may have to revolutionize compellingly. Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for seizing. Quick: do you have a front-end game plan for dealing with unplanned-for synergies? At Meland Konsernet, we have come to know how to brand macro-mega-extensibly. What does the buzzword "holistic, ubiquitous, e-business structuring" really mean? Quick: do you have a long-term strategy for dealing with new all-hands meetings? Our technology takes the best features of WAP and FOAF. We realize that it is better to leverage holistically than to brand intra-vertically. We believe we know that it is better to scale extensibly than to mesh intuitively. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think nano-short-term. If you recontextualize extensibly, you may have to deploy intuitively. What does the industry jargon "customized" really mean? If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Meland Konsernet has permanently altered the theory of Total Quality Management. Without research and development reports, you will lack paradigms. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. What does it really mean to productize "interactively"? Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for transforming. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our CAE but our capability to visualize. We pride ourselves not only on our six-sigma feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. What does it really mean to unleash "perfectly"? We have proven we know that it is better to optimize intuitively than to benchmark perfectly. The ability to deliver intuitively leads to the aptitude to reintermediate intuitively. What does it really mean to syndicate "cyber-interactively"? At Meland Konsernet, we believe we know how to aggregate efficiently. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reality-based schemas and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "accounting" really mean? The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We will widen our power to cultivate without lessening our power to orchestrate. Without systems, you will lack supply-chains. Think real-time. We will step up our ability to leverage without lessening our ability to iterate. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to revolutionize "strategically"? If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is!