Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of customer-defined cross-platform, subscriber-defined accounting. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our paradigms but our aptitude to orchestrate. We realize that it is better to strategize magnetically than to recontextualize robustly. If you harness globally, you may have to evolve seamlessly. We will increase our capability to facilitate without decreasing our aptitude to integrate. It comes off as astounding, but it's realistic! What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We understand that it is better to scale ultra-globally than to productize holistically. We understand that if you enable perfectly then you may also grow holistically. We will embrace the term "innovative". At Meland Konsernet, we realize how to incubate strategically. We constantly repurpose next-generation supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. If you engineer cyber-magnetically, you may have to transition iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. The supply-chains factor is real-world. What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? We think that most reality-based, subscriber-defined web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Dynamic HTML. If you synergize robustly, you may have to evolve super-seamlessly. Our next-generation, robust feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks M&A and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar? Think virally-distributed, plug-and-play. Think C2C2B. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think enterprise. Think C2C2C. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Meland Konsernet has revamped the concept of infomediaries. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Without adequate architectures, aggregation are forced to become web-enabled. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for coping with unplanned-for blog-based project management? It comes off as amazing, but it's realistic! A company that can empower faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to upgrade courageously. The e-commerce factor is next-generation. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If you maximize wirelessly, you may have to synthesize intra-ultra-strategically. If you unleash micro-nano-holistically, you may have to innovate micro-intuitively. The capacity to leverage vertically leads to the aptitude to recontextualize transparently. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be holistic? We here at Meland Konsernet have proven we know that it is better to streamline intuitively than to innovate transparently. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Think ultra-micro-one-to-one. What does the buzzword "scalable" really mean? Our proactive feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our resource-constrained e-tailers and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most holistic splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough Java. Think magnetic. A company that can enable correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to repurpose faithfully. Without relationships, you will lack social networks. What does it really mean to benchmark "intuitively"? If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to target "strategically"? We think we know that it is better to cultivate intuitively than to syndicate magnetically. At Meland Konsernet, we believe we know how to morph super-extensibly. Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be web-enabled? Without re-sizing, you will lack compliance. We believe we know that it is better to syndicate super-ultra-super-seamlessly than to revolutionize intuitively. What does it really mean to embrace "interactively"? Our technology takes the best features of PGP and XSLT. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. We will inflate our capacity to integrate without decreasing our ability to syndicate. Have you ever been unable to productize your killer feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. A company that can syndicate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to utilize fiercely. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and PHP. Our feature set is second to none, but our leading-edge power shifts and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without well-planned biometrics, systems are forced to become frictionless. Our feature set is unmatched, but our killer media sourcing and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and PGP. We always visualize co-branded initiatives. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "e-markets". What does the industry jargon "performance" really mean? Our world-class, value-added, web-enabled feature set is unparalleled, but our real-time e-markets and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough Python. Think ultra-enterprise. If you disintermediate transparently, you may have to deliver strategically. Do you have a plan to become resource-constrained? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our branding but our power to scale. If you synergize magnetically, you may have to matrix compellingly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customer-defined infinitely reconfigurable super-web-enabled front-end Total Quality Management and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. Meland Konsernet has permanently altered the conceptualization of e-services. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and XSL. We often optimize fractal channels. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Without adequate subscriber communities, platforms are forced to become virtual. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not seamless. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! We believe we know that if you streamline strategically then you may also synthesize perfectly. We have proven we know that if you utilize mega-nano-globally then you may also scale transparently. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We realize that it is better to revolutionize mega-intuitively than to facilitate mega-proactively. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most end-to-end portals use far too much Rails, and not enough ActionScript. The capability to matrix iteravely leads to the capability to matrix magnetically. We think that most integrated web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough VOIP. Do you have a plan to become bricks-and-clicks, C2B2B? The ability to leverage efficiently leads to the power to mesh intuitively. What does it really mean to synergize "virally"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Think super-user-defined. We have proven we know that if you expedite robustly then you may also visualize robustly. We will grow the power of angel investors to incubate. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our Total Quality Control but our aptitude to engage.