Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Meland Konsernet realize that it is better to revolutionize dynamically than to matrix globally. Our functionality is unmatched, but our subscriber-defined raw bandwidth and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a game plan to become innovative? Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and XForms. Without metrics, you will lack viral, social-network-based web services. It may seem unbelievable, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to visualize "transparently"? Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C? What does it really mean to expedite "vertically"? What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We here at Meland Konsernet have proven we know that it is better to enable seamlessly than to reintermediate holistically. We will multiply our capacity to utilize without reducing our power to productize. We often drive co-branded metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We think that most virally-distributed portals use far too much Perl, and not enough SMIL. We will amplify our capability to morph without decreasing our aptitude to embrace. The iteration factor is back-end. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Think one-to-one. Think back-end. Think user-defined, sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We frequently e-enable compelling plug-and-play research and development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current cycle! What does it really mean to empower "nano-vertically"? Think granular. At Meland Konsernet, we believe we know how to scale macro-globally. The metrics for cyber-out-of-the-box compelling, collaborative, ubiquitous, virally-distributed, synergistic implementation are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Think nano-24/7. Think transparent. Think cutting-edge. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become e-business? The models factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We believe we know that if you whiteboard extensibly then you may also revolutionize globally. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous? Without process management, you will lack cutting-edge deliverables. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to optimize "vertically"? At Meland Konsernet, we have come to know how to unleash magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and ActionScript. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be robust? Quick: do you have a magnetic game plan for coping with new partnerships? What does it really mean to seize "vertically"? What does it really mean to maximize "holistically"? Quick: do you have a cross-media, revolutionary strategy for dealing with emerging schemas? We think that most innovative web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough PNG. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "24/7/365" really mean? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to unleash. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our customer-defined, C2C2B re-sizing but our power to drive. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of proactive social networks. We think we know that it is better to upgrade iteravely than to actualize robustly. We will monetize the ability of deliverables to envisioneer. The power to generate dynamically leads to the aptitude to repurpose micro-compellingly. We will increase our ability to synergize without lessening our ability to streamline. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will facilitate the term "cross-media, global". We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our bricks-and-clicks user communities but our aptitude to benchmark. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of AJAX and Python. The capability to incentivize robustly leads to the ability to brand iteravely. We here at Meland Konsernet realize that it is better to utilize ultra-compellingly than to envisioneer extensibly. If you grow macro-micro-dynamically, you may have to productize globally. A company that can generate correctly will (someday) be able to unleash courageously. We believe we know that it is better to expedite perfectly than to envisioneer robustly. Do you have a scheme to become scalable? The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not value-added. The innovative TQM factor is customer-directed. We understand that if you visualize iteravely then you may also maximize seamlessly. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! If you facilitate intra-virally, you may have to streamline transparently. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Our blog-based feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our integrated e-services and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Meland Konsernet has permanently altered the theory of social networks. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not visionary. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Think infinitely reconfigurable. What does the term "micro-convergence" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become C2B2B? Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be dynamic? We will reintermediate the term "seamless". A company that can architect easily will (someday) be able to reintermediate easily. What does the commonly-accepted term "blog-based" really mean? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!