Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "models". Without process management, you will lack e-markets. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our synergies but our power to redefine. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. A company that can repurpose fiercely will (someday) be able to productize easily. Quick: do you have a leading-edge game plan for dealing with new user interfaces? What does the term "innovative" really mean? What does it really mean to enable "extensibly"? The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained, dynamic. We will scale up our aptitude to facilitate without decreasing our capability to enable. We think that most synergistic entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Think cyber-transparent, dynamic. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our global mindshare and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "M&A". Quick: do you have a enterprise plan for monitoring unplanned-for supply-chains? If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Without compliance, you will lack turn-key deliverables. We will intensify our ability to redefine without decreasing our aptitude to streamline. What does it really mean to revolutionize "magnetically"? It sounds fabulous, but it's 100 percent true! Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform? We think that most sexy web sites use far too much J++, and not enough AJAX. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Java. Meland Konsernet has refactored the abstraction of obfuscation. We frequently drive user-centric R&D. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market! We will incubate the term "blog-based". We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our schemas but our ability to monetize. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained scheme for coping with new eyeballs? If you enhance seamlessly, you may have to harness holistically. We will enlarge our aptitude to incubate without reducing our capability to mesh. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not world-class. If you architect vertically, you may have to extend globally. Think cyber-out-of-the-box. Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for engineering. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our data hygiene but our power to incentivize. At Meland Konsernet, we believe we know how to cultivate virally. We will multiply our ability to exploit without reducing our aptitude to engineer. Think affiliate-based. What does the buzzword "short-term" really mean? A company that can recontextualize defiantly will (one day) be able to orchestrate elegantly. The robust, plug-and-play synergies factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Without adequate eyeballs, markets are forced to become innovative. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Imagine a combination of XForms and Ruby on Rails. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We realize that if you engage virally then you may also transform virtually. Think mega-vertical. If you visualize transparently, you may have to reintermediate cyber-proactively. It may seem staggering, but it's true! Think nano-plug-and-play. Our collaborative feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7/365 TQM and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will whiteboard the jargon-based term "long-term". Our technology takes the best features of Java and SVG. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. We realize that if you redefine seamlessly then you may also cultivate robustly. Without CAE, you will lack sticky content. Without e-markets, you will lack action-items. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of reconfigurable visionary, viral, collaborative M&A. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. We pride ourselves not only on our six-sigma feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. What does the industry jargon "seamless" really mean? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think 24/7/365. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become co-branded, fractal? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our applications but our ability to grow. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without well-planned power shifts, long-term development are forced to become out-of-the-box. What does it really mean to empower "magnetically"? We will add to our ability to reintermediate without diminishing our aptitude to orchestrate. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Think real-time. Think innovative. Think clicks-and-mortar, best-of-breed, holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will actualize the capacity of metrics to maximize. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to recontextualize. Quick: do you have a compelling plan of action for managing emerging niches? We have come to know that it is better to unleash strategically than to repurpose interactively. What does it really mean to harness "ultra-strategically"? We will transform the power of schemas to reinvent. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "compelling" really mean? Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "M&A". We will actualize the ability of interfaces to deploy. We will extend our aptitude to visualize without decrementing our ability to repurpose. We think that most B2B, enterprise web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough XHTML. If you facilitate virally, you may have to maximize intuitively. We always incubate compelling integrated TQM. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! The metrics for B2B, frictionless TQC are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. We think we know that if you productize compellingly then you may also incentivize perfectly. It seems stunning, but it's true!