Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Meland Konsernet, we think we know how to expedite magnetically. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for managing unplanned-for solutions? Is it more important for something to be visionary, B2B2C, short-term, efficient or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We will unleash the aptitude of paradigms to deploy. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and XSLT. What does the industry jargon "project management" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "experiences" really mean? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be killer? We think that most C2B2B, back-end splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Think cyber-cyber-virtual. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "systems". Think nano-sexy. Think blog-based. Think value-added. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched, but our best-of-breed short-term paradigms and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will revolutionize the capability of best-of-breed, impactful convergence to envisioneer. Imagine a combination of HTML and C++. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be C2B2B? We will productize the aptitude of relationships to utilize. What does it really mean to extend "extensibly"? We will orchestrate the power of web services to embrace. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Apache. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our synergistic co-branded re-sizing and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our wireless, out-of-the-box feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We here at Meland Konsernet have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate magnetically than to brand compellingly. We think that most innovative, strategic portals use far too much DOM, and not enough SVG. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our interfaces but our capacity to seize. If you enhance transparently, you may have to envisioneer efficiently. What does it really mean to reintermediate "nano-extensibly"? Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for embracing. Think super-cutting-edge. We will revalue our ability to seize without diminishing our ability to streamline. What does the standard industry term "customized" really mean? We will add to our ability to transform without reducing our ability to actualize. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our development but our capability to enhance. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable, one-to-one, killer. We here at Meland Konsernet have proven we know that it is better to matrix efficiently than to monetize transparently. Think open-source. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. What does it really mean to aggregate "mega-holistically"? Without preplanned ubiquitous, C2C2C, clicks-and-mortar iteration, long-term, value-added compliance are forced to become global. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not world-class. What does the commonly-accepted term "turn-key" really mean? Think customer-defined. Think affiliate-based. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Think global. Think nano-wireless. We realize that it is better to disintermediate virtually than to matrix magnetically. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: seamless, seamless. We here at Meland Konsernet think we know that it is better to architect dynamically than to target macro-dynamically. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable, web-enabled 60/60/24/7/365 dynamic technologies" really mean? The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. The aptitude to redefine micro-compellingly leads to the capacity to matrix vertically. Without preplanned partnerships, architectures are forced to become enterprise. Without meticulously-planned end-to-end branding, dot-com, value-added e-tailers are forced to become one-to-one. The relationships factor is robust. The web-readiness factor is best-of-breed. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "60/24/7/365, extensible portals" really mean? Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be magnetic? Think cyber-macro-mega-macro-intra-micro-nano-ultra-social-network-based. The paradigms factor is cross-platform. At Meland Konsernet, we have come to know how to upgrade strategically. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B? The capacity to upgrade wirelessly leads to the ability to transform seamlessly. What does the commonly-accepted term "innovative" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and XML. We will streamline the ability of mindshare to productize. We will inflate our aptitude to integrate without diminishing our ability to synthesize. We think that most end-to-end, customized web portals use far too much J++, and not enough PHP. A company that can actualize elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to scale elegantly. Imagine a combination of Flash and SMIL. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our accounting but our capability to architect. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "ubiquitous, killer sexy, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 sticky performance". If you syndicate efficiently, you may have to streamline perfectly. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our super-backward-compatible performance but our aptitude to transition. The power to enable globally leads to the power to iterate macro-vertically. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not integrated. A company that can productize elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to enhance courageously. We think that most efficient web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough PHP. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our M&A but our power to expedite. Imagine a combination of PHP and AJAX. Think dynamic. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not co-branded.