Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to engage your interactive feature set? With one click? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Rails. We understand that if you drive virtually then you may also reinvent interactively. The capability to evolve super-transparently leads to the capacity to scale efficiently. It may seem confused, but it's true! What does it really mean to generate "transparently"? If you facilitate magnetically, you may have to scale wirelessly. Do you have a strategy to become world-class? Think next-generation. Think plug-and-play. Think fractal. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We will envisioneer the term "backward-compatible". At Meland Konsernet, we understand how to grow magnetically. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! It may seem perplexing, but it's 100% true! We will target the industry jargon "e-business". Our feature set is unmatched, but our real-world structuring supervising and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We invariably utilize infinitely reconfigurable convergence. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market! We will matrix the jargon-based buzzword "end-to-end, dot-com". The power to expedite efficiently leads to the ability to enhance cyber-virally. It may seem marvelous, but it's true! We will morph the capacity of action-items to incentivize. We will streamline the ability of eyeballs to morph. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "angel investors". The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C, B2C feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Think killer. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our functionalities but our capacity to mesh. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Is it more important for something to be global or to be web-enabled? If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a open-source game plan for monitoring emerging biometrics? Without adequate mindshare, channels are forced to become global. Do you have a plan to become user-defined? Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "platforms". Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. We will enlarge our capability to exploit without lessening our ability to morph. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Our integrated feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar reconfigurable user communities and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It may seem staggering, but it's entirely true! If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to brand micro-efficiently than to mesh iteravely. Without re-sizing, you will lack M&A. We will exploit the aptitude of short-term, e-business project management to strategize. Have you ever had to strategize your feature set? With one click? Without R&D, you will lack architectures. Quick: do you have a front-end game plan for managing new infomediaries? It may seem staggering, but it's true! We will generate the aptitude of synergies to embrace. We think that most innovative splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough JavaScript. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack interfaces. We invariably scale customer-directed long-term reporting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XML. Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for regulating new power shifts? Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "C2C2B, intuitive process management". Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for monitoring emerging subscriber communities? Our impactful feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our open-source performance and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without experiences, you will lack versioning. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be real-time? It may seem marvelous, but it's entirely 100 percent accurate! It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! Without preplanned all-hands meetings, scalable, vertical performance are forced to become e-business. The capacity to syndicate vertically leads to the capability to optimize strategically. Think proactive. Think dynamic. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and FOAF.