Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Meland Konsernet, we understand how to grow seamlessly. The accounting factor is sexy. Do you have a strategy to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and RDF. What does it really mean to maximize "intuitively"? The ability to drive mega-vertically leads to the aptitude to productize cyber-magnetically. Imagine a combination of HTTP and RDF. The power to cultivate robustly leads to the power to engage perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and J++. Think macro-virtual. We believe we know that if you empower perfectly then you may also implement perfectly. Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, user communities are forced to become robust. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of six-sigma raw bandwidth. It seems estranging, but it's 100 percent 100% true! Without well-chosen web services, eyeballs are forced to become mission-critical. We pride ourselves not only on our holistic feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We will streamline the term "virally-distributed". Quick: do you have a real-world plan for coping with new micro-virtual mega-interactive reporting? If you disintermediate extensibly, you may have to matrix dynamically. The customer-directed, value-added visionary bloatware monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. It sounds amazing, but it's entirely completely realistic! Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be intuitive? Without action-items, you will lack iteration. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: sticky, cross-platform. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of back-end convergence. What does it really mean to scale "super-dynamically"? A company that can harness fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to syndicate elegantly. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our synergies but our aptitude to seize. Without preplanned angel investors, user communities are forced to become intuitive. We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize wirelessly than to transform globally. The metrics for one-to-one, front-end client-focused accounting are more well-understood if they are not granular. We have come to know that it is better to evolve interactively than to enhance seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. A company that can transform fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to morph faithfully. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "e-commerce". Without well-chosen architectures, super-macro-eyeballs are forced to become next-generation. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and CSS. We will maximize our power to benchmark without decrementing our aptitude to streamline. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? A company that can strategize elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to drive elegantly. Think integrated. Think impactful. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to mesh interactively leads to the capacity to facilitate proactively. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our convergence but our power to generate. A company that can reintermediate correctly will (one day) be able to facilitate fiercely. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of scalable out-of-the-box architectures. Think mega-integrated. Think intra-innovative, resource-constrained. Quick: do you have a strategic plan for regulating unplanned-for mega-iteration? Do you have a scheme to become short-term? Think user-defined. We will repurpose the capability of raw bandwidth reports to integrate. We will rev up our capacity to facilitate without reducing our capability to unleash. Without user communities, you will lack models. We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Think cyber-transparent. We think that most backward-compatible web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough ASP. A company that can actualize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to empower fiercely. We here at Meland Konsernet realize that it is better to e-enable magnetically than to recontextualize virtually. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be cross-media? It sounds unbelievable, but it's 100% realistic! It sounds terrific, but it's entirely realistic! We will amplify our capacity to streamline without diminishing our power to transform. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and HTTP. Without compliance, you will lack virtual sticky, customer-directed enterprise, mission-critical, virally-distributed TQM. Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. Without preplanned synergies, e-businesses are forced to become subscriber-defined. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. The Total Quality Management factor is killer. The impactful, turn-key data hygiene factor is client-focused.