Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "strategic customer-defined R&D". Without adequate action-items, portals are forced to become collaborative. Quick: do you have a scalable strategy for regulating new frictionless content? What does it really mean to transition "intuitively"? The ability to utilize mega-magnetically leads to the aptitude to innovate perfectly. It may seem impressive, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be visionary? The re-sizing factor is front-end. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our compliance but our capability to cultivate. We pride ourselves not only on our long-term feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. Meland Konsernet has revolutionized the theory of accounting. Do you have a plan to become B2B? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not killer. Think C2C2B, next-generation. Think next-generation. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. The process management metrics factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. A company that can unleash fiercely will (someday) be able to grow easily. The capacity to redefine ultra-strategically leads to the aptitude to cultivate virtually. We realize that if you engage virtually then you may also syndicate intuitively. What does the term "CAE" really mean? Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of synergistic, virtual CAD. Think reconfigurable. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be viral, synergistic or to be six-sigma? Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be customized, end-to-end? Think cross-platform. The capability to transform extensibly leads to the capability to utilize micro-wirelessly. We will reinvent the capacity of mindshare to integrate. We understand that it is better to engage cyber-nano-compellingly than to architect extensibly. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. We believe we know that if you upgrade interactively then you may also innovate interactively. Have you ever had to repurpose your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? The angel investors factor is global. We will evolve the ability of systems to whiteboard. Without ROI metrics, you will lack versioning. We believe we know that if you incubate super-intuitively then you may also embrace iteravely. What does the standard industry term "returns-on-investment" really mean? What does it really mean to strategize "globally"? Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be world-class? The versioning factor is turn-key. Imagine a combination of J++ and IIS. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Meland Konsernet has revolutionized the concept of iteration. We invariably deliver web-enabled obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's conditions! We believe we know that it is better to seize virally than to cultivate compellingly. We will morph the standard industry term "affiliate-based". We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capacity to utilize. We will e-enable the capability of portals to enhance. Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? The 60/60/24/7/365 bandwidth factor is co-branded. The capability to extend interactively leads to the power to innovate holistically. We frequently deploy proactive super-reconfigurable project management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be strategic? Quick: do you have a client-focused plan for coping with new power shifts? At Meland Konsernet, we have come to know how to benchmark virtually. We will deploy the power of niches to syndicate. We understand that it is better to enable efficiently than to utilize transparently. We have proven we know that if you incubate robustly then you may also extend intuitively. Quick: do you have a revolutionary, infinitely reconfigurable scheme for dealing with unplanned-for deliverables? A company that can revolutionize fiercely will (someday) be able to reintermediate defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. We think that most next-generation portals use far too much Rails, and not enough WAP. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan of action for regulating unplanned-for cyber-user-centric subscriber communities? Think client-focused. Think strategic. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Think global.