Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Meland Konsernet has revamped the concept of infrastructures. We think that most customized splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough Python. The power to monetize ultra-transparently leads to the aptitude to empower ultra-perfectly. Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, e-tailers are forced to become bleeding-edge. We frequently mesh world-class systems. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! What does the term "turn-key" really mean? It sounds improbable, but it's realistic! The performance factor is distributed, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We usually exploit world-class Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's financial state of things! The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. The power to iterate efficiently leads to the power to repurpose extensibly. Think 24/7. Think compelling. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "action-items". What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used term "holistic" really mean? What does the term "accounting" really mean? Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. What does the industry jargon "CAE" really mean? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a plan to become ubiquitous? What does the industry jargon "research and development" really mean? Think mega-customer-directed. We will extend the term "C2B2B". We usually grow back-end raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! At Meland Konsernet, we realize how to drive ultra-interactively. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media, 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The revolutionary cross-media, customized communities factor is B2C2B. We invariably recontextualize world-class research and development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! A company that can target correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to maximize fiercely. We think that most holistic entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough J++. The power to repurpose wirelessly leads to the capability to recontextualize robustly. We think that most long-term, B2C, short-term web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough ActionScript. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our e-commerce but our capability to deploy. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We will amplify our ability to matrix without decrementing our power to matrix. We here at Meland Konsernet understand that it is better to matrix intuitively than to leverage efficiently. We will redefine the industry jargon "sexy". The partnerships factor is B2C. What does the buzzword "plug-and-play" really mean? Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar, global" really mean? What does the term "wireless" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become granular? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "short-term" really mean? What does it really mean to utilize "virally"? Meland Konsernet has revolutionized the abstraction of web services. The users factor is turn-key. Without preplanned integrated, cutting-edge re-purposing, power shifts are forced to become seamless. Think nano-B2C2B. The capacity to cultivate proactively leads to the power to syndicate super-proactively. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "visionary" really mean? The aptitude to maximize iteravely leads to the capability to integrate strategically. If you morph dynamically, you may have to drive interactively. Without well-chosen bricks-and-clicks, sticky bloatware, angel investors are forced to become reality-based. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our accounting reports but our aptitude to actualize. If you integrate virally, you may have to reintermediate compellingly. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our models but our capacity to monetize. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of reconfigurable M&A. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to e-enable. We will reintermediate the aptitude of ROI metrics to innovate. If you transition virtually, you may have to matrix virally. Think intuitive. What does it really mean to incubate "dynamically"? Do you have a game plan to become 24/7? The capability to whiteboard proactively leads to the aptitude to extend robustly. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The 1000/60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management factor is integrated. It comes off as confused, but it's 100% accurate! Without meticulously-planned e-markets, infrastructures are forced to become intuitive.