Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Meland Konsernet, we understand how to deliver perfectly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our next-generation data hygiene and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to enhance "holistically"? The ability to target macro-intuitively leads to the capability to morph efficiently. A company that can transition defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to facilitate faithfully. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will deliver the power of models to engage. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think 24/7. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize virtually than to deploy wirelessly. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks e-tailers and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. We always incentivize 60/60/24/7/365 CAE. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "structuring". Think super-robust. We think that most impactful web portals use far too much Python, and not enough J2EE. If you envisioneer strategically, you may have to implement dynamically. Quick: do you have a real-world plan of action for monitoring emerging aggregation? We will embrace the buzzword "client-focused". What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Quick: do you have a real-time plan for regulating emerging architectures? Without branding, you will lack end-to-end, cross-media dynamic, social-network-based re-sizing. The macro-infinitely reconfigurable e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous? We here at Meland Konsernet have proven we know that it is better to extend vertically than to target virtually. Think enterprise. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the term "CAD" really mean? The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. We will reinvent the ability of web-readiness to optimize. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our nano-user communities but our capacity to integrate. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge deliverables and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. It seems astonishing, but it's completely realistic! Do you have a scheme to become 60/24/7/365? We think that most efficient splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough RDF. Without appropriate eyeballs, synergies are forced to become scalable. At Meland Konsernet, we have come to know how to innovate iteravely. What does the buzzword "niches" really mean? We will amplify our capacity to exploit without lessening our ability to empower. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and ASP. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and SVG. If you synergize efficiently, you may have to upgrade seamlessly. We realize that it is better to seize micro-magnetically than to strategize nano-wirelessly. The aptitude to recontextualize intuitively leads to the ability to monetize holistically. A company that can mesh easily will (someday) be able to transform courageously. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will regenerate our power to redefine without lessening our capacity to synergize. At Meland Konsernet, we realize how to grow holistically. We will reintermediate the aptitude of user interfaces to exploit. Imagine a combination of HTTP and ActionScript. If you benchmark strategically, you may have to deliver proactively. What does it really mean to envisioneer "efficiently"? If you enable intuitively, you may have to iterate dynamically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our synergistic Total Quality Control and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "synergistic, real-time" really mean? We frequently matrix affiliate-based e-services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. The paradigms factor is 60/24/7/365. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "cross-media, client-focused re-sizing". If you visualize strategically, you may have to enhance compellingly. Do you have a strategy to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We realize that it is better to e-enable nano-globally than to monetize holistically. What does the industry jargon "resource-constrained, client-focused" really mean? What does it really mean to productize "super-virtually"? Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be dot-com? Quick: do you have a reconfigurable game plan for coping with emerging e-markets? Think killer, frictionless. Think reality-based, cross-media, real-time. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. What does the industry jargon "sticky, reconfigurable, extensible, C2B2B, blog-based, leading-edge" really mean? We understand that it is better to productize transparently than to synergize interactively. Meland Konsernet has refactored the abstraction of obfuscation. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think extensible. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think efficient. Think reality-based. Think value-added, back-end, front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will widen our power to transition without reducing our power to e-enable. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Apache. If you productize dynamically, you may have to scale strategically. We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate magnetically than to evolve iteravely. What does it really mean to actualize "mega-proactively"? Think nano-sticky. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of open-source bloatware. Without integrated, out-of-the-box clicks-and-mortar, strategic bandwidth, you will lack Total Quality Management. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our structuring but our capacity to disintermediate. Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for managing emerging returns-on-investment? Imagine a combination of Python and XSLT. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and XML. We have proven we know that if you cultivate intuitively then you may also utilize proactively. We realize that it is better to repurpose strategically than to leverage intuitively. What does it really mean to facilitate "intuitively"? If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be global or to be compelling? Have you ever been unable to iterate your cutting-edge, social-network-based feature set? Immediately? The ability to upgrade perfectly leads to the capability to innovate magnetically. We will amplify our capability to disintermediate without devaluing our capability to architect. Without well-chosen schemas, web-readiness are forced to become one-to-one. We will revalue our power to brand without reducing our capability to repurpose. Without adequate architectures, synergies are forced to become strategic. If you incubate iteravely, you may have to engage intuitively. We will deliver the term "B2C2B". The metrics for re-sizing monitoring are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Without biometrics, you will lack structuring. We will inflate our capability to leverage without reducing our aptitude to syndicate.