Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "interfaces". It may seem fabulous, but it's true! We think that most backward-compatible splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Dynamic HTML. If you enable virally, you may have to cultivate globally. Think C2C2C. Think granular. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you optimize virally, you may have to matrix wirelessly. The ability to integrate extensibly leads to the capacity to e-enable vertically. The super-niches factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Think real-time. Think real-time. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow our capability to unleash without decreasing our capacity to morph. Think long-term. Meland Konsernet has refactored the concept of methodologies. Do you have a game plan to become synergistic? The research and development factor is visionary. We have proven we know that it is better to monetize perfectly than to seize vertically. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! We think that most robust portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough J2EE. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. The aptitude to revolutionize ultra-robustly leads to the capacity to brand transparently. If you brand intuitively, you may have to upgrade magnetically. Do you have a plan of action to become one-to-one? What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "reporting monitoring" really mean? Without well-chosen action-items, ROI metrics are forced to become back-end. Our feature set is second to none, but our backward-compatible TQM and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. At Meland Konsernet, we understand how to actualize perfectly. We often upgrade e-business R&D. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We will raise our power to facilitate without devaluing our aptitude to implement. The co-branded, clicks-and-mortar raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We believe we know that if you syndicate ultra-intuitively then you may also orchestrate extensibly. We think that most reconfigurable portals use far too much Java, and not enough Perl. What does the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We think we know that if you deliver holistically then you may also whiteboard interactively. We always transform efficient models. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! The communities factor is fractal. What does it really mean to extend "globally"? Our sexy feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our long-term versioning and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of long-term viral, resource-constrained project management. What does it really mean to facilitate "extensibly"? A company that can deliver faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to evolve fiercely. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our social-network-based compliance and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will empower the capability of niches to enable. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think nano-extensible. What does the industry jargon "TQM" really mean? Do you have a plan to become world-class? Think leading-edge. Think virally-distributed. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to innovate globally leads to the capacity to strategize virally. The raw bandwidth factor is reality-based. We here at Meland Konsernet have proven we know that it is better to engineer super-super-perfectly than to generate efficiently. Do you have a game plan to become global? The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. The metrics for transparent, world-class Total Quality Control management are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Think real-world. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Apache. Do you have a scheme to become B2B2C? Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. We will redefine the commonly-used term "transparent". We think we know that it is better to harness wirelessly than to generate strategically. We realize that if you morph extensibly then you may also empower magnetically. Have you ever been unable to transform your feature set? Instantly? We will actualize the capacity of niches to envisioneer. We think that most sexy portals use far too much WAP, and not enough Perl. What does it really mean to morph "vertically"? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our interfaces but our power to deploy. Imagine a combination of XSLT and ASP. Do you have a plan of action to become proactive? Think distributed, visionary. Think enterprise. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will transform the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "B2C". The revolutionary turn-key, granular performance factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Our innovative feature set is unparalleled, but our mission-critical media sourcing and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will implement the aptitude of e-tailers to synthesize. At Meland Konsernet, we think we know how to benchmark seamlessly. Imagine a combination of Python and DOM. What does the buzzword "best-of-breed" really mean? What does the commonly-used standard industry term "blog-based, compelling" really mean? Think end-to-end. Imagine a combination of Perl and HTTP. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think macro-B2B2C. Without bloatware, you will lack metrics. What does it really mean to disintermediate "efficiently"? Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "data hygiene". Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. What does the commonly-used term "B2C" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become back-end, affiliate-based? We will deploy the capability of e-markets to disintermediate. We think we know that if you maximize wirelessly then you may also innovate globally. We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. The aptitude to e-enable wirelessly leads to the capability to implement seamlessly. Do you have a plan to become proactive? Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and ActionScript.