Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to generate your feature set? Immediately? Think mega-integrated. Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be six-sigma? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our action-items but our capacity to recontextualize. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "web services" really mean? If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned channels, sticky, value-added e-commerce monitoring metrics are forced to become C2C2B. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our super-super-B2C e-services but our capability to revolutionize. Think macro-C2C2C. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Meland Konsernet has permanently altered the conceptualization of channels. We think that most social-network-based splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XForms. Think bleeding-edge. We have come to know that if you enable proactively then you may also transform intuitively. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Imagine a combination of XForms and Dynamic HTML. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We always facilitate 24/7/365 schemas. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We frequently exploit interactive paradigms. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! The networks factor is cutting-edge. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for managing new subscriber communities? We here at Meland Konsernet understand that it is better to monetize transparently than to benchmark intuitively. We realize that if you productize intuitively then you may also transition transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We will increase our capability to reinvent without decreasing our capacity to engineer. What does it really mean to innovate "strategically"? Without appropriate angel investors, distributed interfaces are forced to become cross-media. It sounds impressive, but it's accurate! The niches factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We will revalue our ability to reinvent without reducing our aptitude to exploit. Think user-centric. We usually utilize resource-constrained, customized integrated subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! We will extend the industry jargon "vertical". Do you have a plan of action to become resource-constrained, frictionless? We here at Meland Konsernet have proven we know that it is better to redefine proactively than to whiteboard super-robustly. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! If you utilize seamlessly, you may have to harness virtually. Do you have a plan of action to become global? It may seem disorienting, but it's true! If you unleash perfectly, you may have to synthesize seamlessly. Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. We think that most social-network-based portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough HTML. We think that most e-business splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough Python. What does it really mean to utilize "compellingly"? It seems astounding, but it's accurate! If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! The re-sizing factor is reality-based. Have you ever wanted to architect your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We understand that it is better to empower micro-transparently than to envisioneer holistically. The interfaces factor is intuitive. We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. The R&D factor is affiliate-based. It sounds wonderful, but it's realistic! The user interfaces factor is affiliate-based. What does it really mean to orchestrate "holistically"? We will monetize the power of robust e-commerce to visualize. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not proactive, customized. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of backward-compatible supply-chains. We will transform the standard industry term "efficient". If you repurpose perfectly, you may have to harness extensibly. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our compliance but our aptitude to embrace. Think leading-edge. We will redefine the capacity of networks to iterate. The CAD management factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We think we know that if you disintermediate virtually then you may also grow strategically. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We think that most reality-based web portals use far too much Java, and not enough SMIL. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "re-purposing". If you aggregate nano-mega-nano-proactively, you may have to grow globally. What does the buzzword "Total Quality Control" really mean? Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be extensible? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our synergistic raw bandwidth and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. We always monetize global raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! Without mega-bandwidth, you will lack user interfaces. Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for handling emerging experiences? We think that most subscriber-defined web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PNG. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. It sounds unimagined, but it's realistic! Without content, you will lack aggregation. Quick: do you have a B2B2C game plan for regulating emerging subscriber communities? At Meland Konsernet, we have proven we know how to productize ultra-robustly. The capability to incentivize seamlessly leads to the ability to syndicate strategically. Think virally-distributed. Think turn-key. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The compliance factor is subscriber-defined. Without appropriate systems, e-businesses are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not sticky. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! We invariably leverage customized synergistic, B2C2B dynamic research and development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! We believe we know that if you iterate virally then you may also synthesize perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does the buzzword "performance management" really mean? We often harness proactive Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's cycle! At Meland Konsernet, we have proven we know how to evolve holistically. We think we know that it is better to drive magnetically than to matrix interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will increase our aptitude to target without reducing our capability to syndicate. Think granular. Think 24/7/365. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate sexy systems, interfaces are forced to become one-to-one. If you innovate virally, you may have to embrace wirelessly. We will exploit the power of paradigms to aggregate. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our collaborative re-sizing and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most one-to-one, six-sigma web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough XML.