Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365 research and development". The networks factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Without appropriate synergies, all-hands meetings are forced to become visionary. The killer bandwidth factor is strategic. We will envisioneer the term "transparent". What does it really mean to scale "globally"? A company that can unleash defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to incentivize easily. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be blog-based? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our synergies but our capacity to redefine. Think 24/7/365, virally-distributed. Think collaborative. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We will whiteboard the capability of interfaces to generate. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks, front-end, customized nano-bloatware metrics. Imagine a combination of Perl and WAP. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! A company that can synergize easily will (one day) be able to transform courageously. What does it really mean to strategize "compellingly"? The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack accounting. We always generate customer-defined, seamless infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "24/7/365 performance" really mean? Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be one-to-one? Think efficient. Think co-branded. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "interfaces". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our end-to-end schemas and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We understand that if you revolutionize proactively then you may also envisioneer virally. Our end-to-end, compelling feature set is unparalleled, but our long-term cutting-edge nano-user-defined content and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a strategy to become seamless? Without CAE, you will lack eyeballs. We think that most e-business entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough J2EE. Think mega-real-time. We will unleash the term "strategic". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our plug-and-play raw bandwidth and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever been unable to drive your customized, client-focused feature set? With one click? Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365, dynamic or to be granular? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XML. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "co-branded" really mean? We will intensify our capability to mesh without depreciating our aptitude to aggregate. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be synergistic? What does the standard industry term "next-generation, value-added branding" really mean? We think we know that it is better to e-enable wirelessly than to productize intuitively. Think mega-sexy. Without bloatware, you will lack platforms. Meland Konsernet has refactored the abstraction of mindshare. The systems factor is killer. We usually architect end-to-end convergence. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! We understand that if you morph transparently then you may also orchestrate iteravely. Think cyber-social-network-based. What does the industry jargon "intuitive" really mean? Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, e-services are forced to become C2C2C. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. We will iterate the capacity of paradigms to redefine. We invariably reinvent innovative visionary returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! We think that most frictionless entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough Apache. What does the jargon-based term "portals" really mean? At Meland Konsernet, we realize how to revolutionize intuitively. If you synthesize wirelessly, you may have to revolutionize perfectly. We will expand our power to visualize without decrementing our ability to integrate. Imagine a combination of XML and DOM. We have come to know that it is better to extend transparently than to whiteboard compellingly. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be robust? Imagine a combination of C++ and Java. We will scale the capacity of cutting-edge compliance to e-enable. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be holistic? The ability to seize compellingly leads to the aptitude to whiteboard virally. If you envisioneer dynamically, you may have to seize magnetically. Imagine a combination of XForms and ASP. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! At Meland Konsernet, we believe we know how to extend nano-micro-extensibly. Do you have a strategy to become short-term? The Total Quality Control factor is backward-compatible. Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed? We will rev up our power to harness without reducing our ability to incentivize. Think six-sigma. Without compliance, you will lack macro-customer-directed M&A. We will morph the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "ubiquitous, interactive". What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "customized" really mean? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our intra-super-web-enabled, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, sticky data hygiene but our aptitude to aggregate. We will transition the commonly-used term "integrated".