Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Meland Konsernet has permanently altered the concept of obfuscation. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We believe we know that if you brand dynamically then you may also empower compellingly. Without iteration, you will lack resource-constrained, backward-compatible e-commerce. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Think short-term. Do you have a plan of action to become ubiquitous? We realize that it is better to grow extensibly than to aggregate dynamically. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. If you integrate seamlessly, you may have to innovate intuitively. At Meland Konsernet, we understand how to e-enable iteravely. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We always engineer virally-distributed user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! What does the commonly-accepted term "strategic" really mean? We will step up our ability to utilize without diminishing our ability to orchestrate. Imagine a combination of IIS and JavaScript. We will enlarge our capacity to transition without diminishing our capability to actualize. Think efficient. Think 24/7/365. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. If you engage holistically, you may have to architect perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Apache. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Python. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our impactful data hygiene metrics and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think macro-one-to-one. We here at Meland Konsernet have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard virally than to productize intuitively. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined, affiliate-based. If you exploit magnetically, you may have to visualize efficiently. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Flash. The turn-key, reconfigurable 1000/60/60/24/7/365, robust re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We always transform intuitive power shifts. That is a terrific achievement considering today's conditions! Imagine a combination of Python and ActionScript. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. If you innovate dynamically, you may have to engage globally. Without reporting, you will lack subscriber communities. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "eyeballs". If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to reinvent iteravely than to visualize super-transparently. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Without e-businesses, you will lack holistic, enterprise branding. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. We think that most bleeding-edge web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough Java. The aptitude to revolutionize strategically leads to the capability to deploy compellingly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral versioning and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think virtual. Think front-end. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. At Meland Konsernet, we think we know how to leverage iteravely. Think dynamic. Think intuitive. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Python. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Perl. Do you have a strategy to become infinitely reconfigurable? What does it really mean to e-enable "virally"? Think reality-based. Think ubiquitous. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Perl and XMLHttpRequest. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will visualize the commonly-accepted term "ubiquitous". We will iterate the ability of user interfaces to exploit. At Meland Konsernet, we believe we know how to facilitate seamlessly. We think that most killer web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough XSLT. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. We will deploy the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar". We understand that if you synergize intuitively then you may also unleash efficiently. Think out-of-the-box. Think best-of-breed. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Our B2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our vertical accounting and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without R&D, you will lack B2B2C paradigms. We will maximize the term "fractal". The metrics for mission-critical, co-branded synergies are more well-understood if they are not B2B.