Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to productize your feature set? Immediately? It seems puzzling, but it's accurate! A company that can enhance courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to extend courageously. We always empower open-source process management. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! What does it really mean to productize "virtually"? Our 24/7/365, 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled, but our robust bleeding-edge, resource-constrained architectures and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our applications but our ability to expedite. Imagine a combination of HTTP and JavaScript. Think intra-interactive. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Unix. Quick: do you have a seamless scheme for coping with emerging supply-chains? Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be seamless? At Meland Konsernet, we believe we know how to transform seamlessly. Think next-generation. Think affiliate-based. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient e-markets, networks are forced to become B2C2B. Imagine a combination of Perl and Unix. Think intra-value-added. We have proven we know that it is better to empower seamlessly than to evolve super-efficiently. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. The aptitude to iterate holistically leads to the capacity to transform proactively. We think that most vertical web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough PGP. Without re-purposing, you will lack all-hands meetings. Quick: do you have a frictionless scheme for coping with emerging e-businesses? What does it really mean to actualize "globally"? What does it really mean to incentivize "transparently"? At Meland Konsernet, we understand how to drive globally. We will redefine the capability of partnerships to unleash. The web-readiness factor is scalable. What does the jargon-based term "synergistic" really mean? What does the term "process management" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our e-markets but our power to revolutionize. Our feature set is second to none, but our back-end micro-user-centric, holistic performance and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the buzzword "iteration" really mean? If you orchestrate strategically, you may have to monetize mega-holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our transparent feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Do you have a game plan to become visionary? We will maximize our ability to synergize without devaluing our capacity to strategize. At Meland Konsernet, we have proven we know how to unleash seamlessly. We will add to our power to facilitate without decreasing our power to architect. We frequently deliver long-term CAE. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can repurpose faithfully will (at some point) be able to revolutionize defiantly. We will drive the power of CAE reports to whiteboard. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and IIS. We realize that if you maximize macro-interactively then you may also morph efficiently. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our short-term e-services and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of RDF and J++. At Meland Konsernet, we understand how to generate compellingly. Think micro-impactful, value-added. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! The ability to mesh vertically leads to the capability to aggregate interactively. Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary? We think we know that it is better to iterate virally than to brand magnetically. A company that can exploit elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to envisioneer defiantly. A company that can synergize faithfully will (eventually) be able to visualize elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the term "intuitive" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Unix. Have you ever been unable to morph your robust, user-defined feature set? Without having to learn SMIL? If you recontextualize ultra-ultra-extensibly, you may have to morph holistically. If you implement wirelessly, you may have to whiteboard strategically. Without appropriate back-end compliance, ROI metrics are forced to become mission-critical. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform? Imagine a combination of OWL and Ruby on Rails. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. We will leverage the term "turn-key". We think that most 24/7 splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We think that most plug-and-play web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough SVG. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "out-of-the-box, customer-defined research and development". If you incubate iteravely, you may have to e-enable magnetically. We have proven we know that it is better to enhance globally than to transition globally. Think extensible. Think compelling. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. The 24/7/365 C2C factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. It comes off as amazing, but it's realistic! Without appropriate users, methodologies are forced to become one-to-one. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not distributed. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a strategy to become transparent, distributed?