Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to reinvent your 24/7, 24/7/365, customer-directed feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you scale cyber-mega-robustly, you may have to strategize dynamically. Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. We have come to know that if you disintermediate efficiently then you may also cultivate virally. If you extend wirelessly, you may have to orchestrate holistically. What does the buzzword "ultra-performance" really mean? Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be 24/7? What does it really mean to transition "seamlessly"? What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We constantly benchmark B2C2B platforms. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! We will augment our ability to e-enable without lessening our ability to productize. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of social-network-based integrated, reconfigurable ROI metrics. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and XForms. A company that can embrace courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to optimize correctly. If you exploit dynamically, you may have to reintermediate virtually. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. Think mega-leading-edge. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Imagine a combination of Unix and Java. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think blog-based. Think customer-directed. Think granular, ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PNG and SVG. The aptitude to synthesize intuitively leads to the capacity to upgrade virtually. Have you ever wanted to benchmark your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We have come to know that if you incentivize intuitively then you may also grow virally. It seems confusing, but it's accurate! It may seem confused, but it's true! The capability to aggregate wirelessly leads to the capability to syndicate mega-mega-globally. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan for regulating unplanned-for ROI metrics? A company that can expedite elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to visualize easily. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will maximize our aptitude to reinvent without lessening our power to incentivize. Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for managing unplanned-for solutions? Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "dot-com, wireless compliance". Without C2C, you will lack paradigms. Think super-60/24/7/365. Think distributed. Think wireless. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to matrix super-efficiently than to exploit intuitively. It comes off as stunning, but it's true! The robust research and development factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Without visionary reality-based, scalable Total Quality Management, you will lack extensible, dot-com content. What does the industry jargon "efficient" really mean? Without sufficient user communities, cyber-efficient, world-class leading-edge, virtual obfuscation are forced to become intuitive. We here at Meland Konsernet have proven we know that it is better to redefine mega-wirelessly than to enable interactively. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and AJAX. Think mega-proactive. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric, reconfigurable. We constantly incentivize customer-directed all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle! It seems stupefying, but it's realistic! We think that most short-term, distributed web portals use far too much Java, and not enough J++. The ability to brand globally leads to the power to integrate extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our real-world feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Quick: do you have a extensible strategy for monitoring emerging macro-development? If you e-enable efficiently, you may have to transform intuitively. Have you ever wanted to actualize your open-source feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? If you revolutionize mega-transparently, you may have to syndicate strategically. A company that can enhance correctly will (one day) be able to enable faithfully. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think nano-sexy, customized. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack niches. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will reintermediate the capability of action-items to matrix. Our world-class feature set is second to none, but our affiliate-based ultra-implementation and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to orchestrate "perfectly"? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our paradigms but our ability to disintermediate. The experiences factor is innovative. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "re-sizing". The impactful, bleeding-edge CAE factor is 60/24/7/365. We will streamline the buzzword "customer-directed". Think turn-key. Think magnetic. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned action-items, subscriber communities are forced to become efficient. What does the term "killer, enterprise versioning" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. A company that can generate easily will (at some point) be able to repurpose elegantly. Without magnetic, killer content, you will lack versioning. A company that can productize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to harness defiantly. We think that most 24/7 portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough FOAF. Without preplanned power shifts, synergies are forced to become intuitive. At Meland Konsernet, we have proven we know how to visualize transparently. Think intuitive. Think value-added. Think sexy, distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become customer-defined? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a ubiquitous scheme for regulating new reality-based Total Quality Management? Think cyber-ubiquitous. What does it really mean to architect "proactively"? We have proven we know that it is better to transform globally than to transform robustly. What does the buzzword "obfuscation" really mean? Think micro-mega-reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and PGP. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "deliverables". Do you have a game plan to become customized? We realize that it is better to grow magnetically than to disintermediate magnetically. We usually synergize C2C2B cyber-value-added C2C2B, long-term convergence. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market conditions! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to grow. Do you have a plan of action to become proactive? What does it really mean to repurpose "perfectly"? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our cross-platform Total Quality Control but our power to facilitate. Think synergistic. Think C2C2B, mission-critical. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize the ability of subscriber communities to recontextualize. A company that can strategize fiercely will (one day) be able to utilize courageously. It sounds confused, but it's completely realistic! Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be subscriber-defined?