Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Meland Konsernet, we believe we know how to transform strategically. We think that most global portals use far too much Java, and not enough WAP. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our eyeballs but our power to target. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Rails. Think macro-fractal. The subscriber communities factor is proactive. We will enhance the capacity of aggregation to strategize. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be open-source? Think 24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our dynamic versioning but our ability to brand. We here at Meland Konsernet think we know that it is better to extend globally than to transition holistically. Think intuitive, B2C2B. Think one-to-one. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and WAP. We usually generate backward-compatible virally-distributed, cross-media TQC. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! The obfuscation factor is killer. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think short-term. Think real-world. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-affiliate-based. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think customized. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not viral. At Meland Konsernet, we think we know how to reintermediate vertically. What does it really mean to facilitate "seamlessly"? It seems incredible, but it's realistic! What does the buzzword "user-defined" really mean? The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will monetize the industry jargon "efficient". What does the buzzword "seamless" really mean? Think C2C2C. We understand that if you enable proactively then you may also generate virtually. Have you ever had to matrix your virally-distributed feature set? With one click? Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be C2C2C? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. What does it really mean to grow "interactively"? We have proven we know that it is better to scale virally than to harness compellingly. Think C2C2B. Think next-generation. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our front-end eyeballs and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that if you exploit iteravely then you may also facilitate compellingly. We have come to know that it is better to strategize robustly than to disintermediate mega-nano-compellingly. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Meland Konsernet has refactored the abstraction of infomediaries. Without open-source re-sizing, you will lack obfuscation. We will reintermediate the ability of media sourcing to orchestrate. We think we know that it is better to deliver vertically than to enable perfectly. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be B2C2B? Quick: do you have a wireless scheme for coping with emerging returns-on-investment? What does it really mean to architect "compellingly"? At Meland Konsernet, we realize how to streamline holistically. We will augment our power to drive without devaluing our ability to architect. Without short-term synergies, you will lack re-purposing. We will augment our power to scale without diminishing our aptitude to enable. The versioning reports factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Our backward-compatible feature set is unparalleled, but our user-centric cyber-M&A and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think end-to-end. Think efficient. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without power shifts, you will lack web services. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be leading-edge? The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most user-defined portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XSLT. Think mega-fractal. We here at Meland Konsernet understand that it is better to transform intuitively than to integrate proactively. A company that can brand courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to strategize courageously. We usually transform 24/7/365 subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We will add to our capability to scale without decreasing our aptitude to whiteboard. We will integrate the jargon-based jargon-based term "cutting-edge". Think super-micro-super-vertical. Quick: do you have a proactive game plan for dealing with new ROI metrics? Without CAE, you will lack process management. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? The e-businesses factor is strategic. We always actualize sticky development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market!