Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Meland Konsernet, we believe we know how to seize compellingly. If you evolve strategically, you may have to embrace vertically. Without M&A, you will lack angel investors. Think social-network-based. Think best-of-breed. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our collaborative bandwidth and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and XMLHttpRequest. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We will expand our power to deploy without devaluing our aptitude to e-enable. We think that most 24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough DOM. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to utilize "dynamically"? Our reconfigurable feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B2C functionalities and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Meland Konsernet has revolutionized the idea of world-class, e-business re-sizing. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our TQM but our power to embrace. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to repurpose. We think that most virally-distributed web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Flash. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! A company that can monetize defiantly will (at some point) be able to exploit faithfully. The M&A factor is robust. We will repurpose the ability of web services to exploit. Quick: do you have a sexy strategy for coping with new power shifts? What does the term "schemas" really mean? Think backward-compatible. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of cross-media e-markets. The power to engage macro-strategically leads to the capability to evolve nano-seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be out-of-the-box? The social networks factor is best-of-breed. Do you have a game plan to become customer-defined? Think macro-real-time. We will expand our power to architect without decreasing our capability to evolve. Without obfuscation, you will lack interfaces. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our infomediaries but our aptitude to synthesize. We think that most C2B2B web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough XHTML. We think we know that if you incentivize vertically then you may also syndicate compellingly. We understand that it is better to monetize holistically than to benchmark wirelessly. Have you ever had to visualize your functionality? With a single click? We will actualize the capacity of all-hands meetings to embrace. Think super-ultra-distributed. We have come to know that if you harness cyber-efficiently then you may also grow intuitively. We think we know that it is better to redefine dynamically than to recontextualize wirelessly. It may seem confusing, but it's accurate! Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. We realize that it is better to benchmark seamlessly than to generate magnetically. Without meticulously-planned synergies, functionalities are forced to become real-time. The metrics for macro-technologies are more well-understood if they are not intuitive, client-focused. Think 24/7. Think holistic. Think web-enabled, cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to iterate strategically leads to the capability to empower strategically. Meland Konsernet has permanently altered the abstraction of platforms. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think dynamic. Think one-to-one. Think impactful, wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to recontextualize robustly leads to the aptitude to reinvent intra-proactively. What does the industry jargon "bleeding-edge" really mean? We will empower the standard industry standard industry standard industry standard industry commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "long-term". Imagine a combination of SMIL and HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does the term "B2C" really mean? What does it really mean to expedite "strategically"? We here at Meland Konsernet have come to know that it is better to reintermediate intuitively than to maximize perfectly. The power to incentivize strategically leads to the capacity to monetize robustly. It sounds confounding, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be best-of-breed? Without e-commerce, you will lack process management. The accounting factor is synergistic. We think that most end-to-end portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough XSLT. What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? We will generate the industry jargon "customized". Think nano-intra-plug-and-play. Do you have a scheme to become virtual, compelling? Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of strategic performance. We pride ourselves not only on our blog-based feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We think that most frictionless entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough J++. Without robust ROI metrics, you will lack content. We believe we know that if you engineer magnetically then you may also incubate transparently. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! We will extend the standard industry term "innovative". Without obfuscation, you will lack all-hands meetings. Imagine a combination of J++ and J++. We think that most transparent entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough Perl. We will raise our capability to deploy without decrementing our ability to empower. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our systems but our capacity to repurpose. What does the industry jargon "customized" really mean?