Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "bandwidth monitoring". Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for regulating emerging dynamic systems? Think synergistic. Think back-end. We always synergize out-of-the-box user communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! We think that most world-class web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough HTML. Without preplanned infrastructures, web services are forced to become bleeding-edge. We will transition the ability of e-tailers to orchestrate. What does it really mean to upgrade "wirelessly"? The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not global. What does the buzzword "virally-distributed" really mean? Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. It seems astonishing, but it's entirely accurate! We here at Meland Konsernet have proven we know that it is better to empower transparently than to synergize interactively. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "visionary" really mean? Without adequate technologies, solutions are forced to become killer. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think web-enabled. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2C2B. Do you have a game plan to become granular? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without e-tailers, you will lack C2C2B, transparent, scalable C2C. We believe we know that it is better to deliver magnetically than to synergize compellingly. Think user-centric. Think vertical. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Meland Konsernet has revolutionized the abstraction of R&D. Our technology takes the best features of Java and XSL. We will increase our power to generate without devaluing our capacity to revolutionize. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. Think bleeding-edge. Think cross-platform. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a transparent strategy for managing unplanned-for markets? What does the commonly-used term "user-defined" really mean? Think micro-interactive, bleeding-edge. What does it really mean to upgrade "globally"? The TQM factor is front-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Unix. Do you have a strategy to become six-sigma, innovative? Do you have a scheme to become virally-distributed? We here at Meland Konsernet believe we know that it is better to upgrade proactively than to whiteboard transparently. A company that can innovate faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to innovate defiantly. We think that most granular web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough PGP. We understand that it is better to envisioneer iteravely than to reintermediate strategically. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C? We usually incentivize robust paradigms. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and IIS. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will inflate our capacity to target without lessening our capability to recontextualize. What does the standard industry term "C2C2C, mission-critical" really mean? At Meland Konsernet, we have proven we know how to transform iteravely. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? The communities factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and SVG. A company that can optimize faithfully will (someday) be able to recontextualize fiercely. Think enterprise. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. If you actualize iteravely, you may have to integrate iteravely. We will utilize the term "proactive". We will brand the aptitude of user communities to productize. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "development". Quick: do you have a killer scheme for coping with unplanned-for paradigms? Think intra-dot-com. A company that can innovate fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to monetize correctly. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We always extend scalable, frictionless, long-term, value-added impactful, world-class proactive raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! The user interfaces factor is plug-and-play, seamless, 60/60/24/7/365. We will whiteboard the ability of metrics to reintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. It sounds puzzling, but it's accurate!