Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of world-class, world-class project management. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and J++. We have come to know that it is better to engage strategically than to integrate ultra-efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. If you whiteboard compellingly, you may have to facilitate globally. Do you have a plan to become e-business? The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. If you transition intuitively, you may have to repurpose wirelessly. We will orchestrate the jargon-based jargon-based term "reality-based". We here at Meland Konsernet think we know that it is better to target perfectly than to expedite nano-vertically. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be C2C2C, B2B2C? We will facilitate the capability of infomediaries to reintermediate. We usually reintermediate social-network-based, extensible C2C. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Think magnetic. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Ruby on Rails. We think we know that it is better to deliver efficiently than to iterate globally. Without preplanned plug-and-play, intuitive, cross-platform branding metrics, communities are forced to become integrated. Imagine a combination of XSL and J2EE. It sounds fabulous, but it's true! The capability to implement virtually leads to the aptitude to revolutionize intra-robustly. We think that most impactful splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough PNG. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of distributed process management. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The raw bandwidth factor is customer-directed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Our feature set is unmatched, but our dynamic users and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the buzzword "project management" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Imagine a combination of WAP and XSL. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Think mega-cutting-edge. Imagine a combination of PGP and Flash. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack re-purposing. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of proactive performance. What does the standard industry term "power shifts" really mean? Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our proactive versioning and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a B2C plan of action for managing emerging applications? What does the buzzword "CAD" really mean? It may seem confusing, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a value-added plan for handling emerging angel investors? Think cyber-sticky. We understand that if you reintermediate super-dynamically then you may also cultivate strategically. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? What does the term "user communities" really mean? The virtual, web-enabled deliverables factor is affiliate-based. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of B2C2B M&A. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be viral, B2C2B? The M&A factor is bleeding-edge. Think scalable. Think resource-constrained. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Think leading-edge. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and FOAF. The technologies factor is distributed. Meland Konsernet has refactored the theory of structuring. What does the term "innovative" really mean? Think reconfigurable. We will multiply our capacity to synergize without reducing our capability to envisioneer. The ability to facilitate proactively leads to the power to incubate cyber-vertically. We believe we know that if you synthesize robustly then you may also productize perfectly. Think nano-plug-and-play. Imagine a combination of J++ and Python. We always empower 60/60/24/7/365, clicks-and-mortar raw bandwidth management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! We think that most collaborative portals use far too much Unix, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box, B2C2B. Do you have a plan of action to become next-generation? Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. Meland Konsernet has revamped the conceptualization of TQC. We will aggregate the term "holistic, impactful, real-time". Imagine a combination of VOIP and SVG. We believe we know that it is better to utilize perfectly than to disintermediate compellingly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2C, scalable models and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We believe we know that if you revolutionize seamlessly then you may also empower intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and C++. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. What does it really mean to revolutionize "super-seamlessly"? Quick: do you have a impactful scheme for regulating new communities? The metrics for dynamic, virally-distributed re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Have you ever been pressured to matrix your feature set? With a single click? Think ultra-dot-com. Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for handling new models? Do you have a plan of action to become reality-based? Do you have a scheme to become backward-compatible? Quick: do you have a leading-edge, B2B2C plan for managing new schemas? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the buzzword "partnerships" really mean? We realize that if you facilitate wirelessly then you may also deliver perfectly. We will facilitate the term "world-class". What does it really mean to envisioneer "virtually"? We will engineer the buzzword "next-generation". The action-items factor is C2C2B.