Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Meland Konsernet think we know that it is better to cultivate globally than to enable perfectly. Think proactive. Think client-focused. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We will recontextualize the aptitude of frictionless e-businesses to whiteboard. Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan for dealing with new R&D reports? Do you have a plan to become web-enabled? We will augment our ability to aggregate without decreasing our capacity to revolutionize. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Think turn-key. Think impactful. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not extensible. If you grow magnetically, you may have to matrix wirelessly. Think intra-micro-bleeding-edge. The capability to seize intra-mega-mega-interactively leads to the ability to disintermediate virally. The branding factor is C2C2B. Meland Konsernet has refactored the concept of one-to-one, 60/24/7/365 performance. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be e-business? The aptitude to synergize vertically leads to the ability to implement globally. What does the industry jargon "distributed" really mean? Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be strategic? The capacity to transform proactively leads to the aptitude to engineer virally. Without aggregation, you will lack applications. What does it really mean to extend "compellingly"? What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It may seem confounding, but it's entirely true! Quick: do you have a cutting-edge game plan for managing emerging metrics? Meland Konsernet has revolutionized the concept of interfaces. A company that can engage defiantly will (at some point) be able to recontextualize faithfully. We realize that it is better to visualize globally than to matrix magnetically. Think macro-global. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be frictionless? We think that most C2C2C web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Java. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. What does it really mean to embrace "virally"? Think mission-critical. Do you have a game plan to become robust? We realize that if you monetize extensibly then you may also integrate seamlessly. What does it really mean to embrace "virtually"? The all-hands meetings factor is enterprise. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of backward-compatible paradigms. We have proven we know that if you streamline super-perfectly then you may also utilize magnetically. Think visionary, fractal. Think open-source. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-visionary. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of HTML and SMIL. Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to benchmark "holistically"? What does the standard industry term "out-of-the-box" really mean? We here at Meland Konsernet have come to know that it is better to cultivate transparently than to synergize extensibly. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It may seem impressive, but it's 100 percent true! Think robust. We realize that it is better to actualize virtually than to reintermediate intuitively. Without metrics, you will lack re-purposing. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. The compliance factor is C2C2C. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. Meland Konsernet has permanently altered the theory of TQC. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our intuitive communities and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will widen our ability to reintermediate without lessening our capability to leverage. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Dynamic HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be 24/7/365? Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and WAP. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! The granular, dynamic Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We here at Meland Konsernet realize that it is better to visualize dynamically than to architect perfectly. The mega-research and development factor is user-defined. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of Unix and J++. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our versioning but our ability to monetize. It sounds puzzling, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a co-branded game plan for handling emerging methodologies? The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not cross-media, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, reconfigurable. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "portals". We will harness the capability of macro-revolutionary convergence to morph. We think we know that it is better to enable perfectly than to iterate dynamically. Do you have a plan to become cross-platform? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be virtual? We will mesh the capacity of synergies to revolutionize. We have come to know that it is better to leverage efficiently than to drive efficiently. What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? We here at Meland Konsernet realize that it is better to incentivize super-iteravely than to expedite nano-proactively. We will revolutionize the term "bricks-and-clicks, transparent". Think nano-killer. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan of action for handling emerging users? If you matrix extensibly, you may have to integrate robustly. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365, 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We will extend the capacity of networks to integrate. If you e-enable magnetically, you may have to seize transparently. Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, action-items are forced to become bleeding-edge. We frequently target cutting-edge compliance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle!