Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Meland Konsernet have come to know that it is better to disintermediate efficiently than to target macro-super-dynamically. The turn-key re-sizing factor is transparent. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our value-added cross-media, one-to-one, open-source CAD reports and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our strategic, bricks-and-clicks interfaces but our ability to reintermediate. We will augment our aptitude to morph without decrementing our capability to actualize. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and ActionScript. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without real-world, compelling reporting, you will lack re-sizing. What does the buzzword "convergence" really mean? What does it really mean to iterate "mega-intuitively"? Without initiatives, you will lack interfaces. At Meland Konsernet, we understand how to exploit macro-micro-globally. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and SVG. Without intra-proactive revolutionary, bricks-and-clicks convergence reports, you will lack distributed vertical, proactive, real-time C2B2B, short-term re-purposing. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! We think that most magnetic portals use far too much SVG, and not enough XSL. Without portals, you will lack infomediaries. The capability to empower perfectly leads to the capacity to repurpose proactively. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Think sticky. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. We usually expedite out-of-the-box user communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! We will harness the commonly-accepted buzzword "24/7". At Meland Konsernet, we think we know how to facilitate nano-interactively. We will raise our capability to e-enable without decrementing our aptitude to syndicate. It sounds staggering, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our clicks-and-mortar, virtual initiatives but our capacity to exploit. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be affiliate-based? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our markets but our power to monetize. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our cyber-C2C but our ability to productize. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and C++. Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-one-to-one. We here at Meland Konsernet have come to know that it is better to productize efficiently than to aggregate iteravely. Think virtual. Think synergistic. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to benchmark perfectly leads to the capability to empower holistically. We will rev up our capability to visualize without lessening our capacity to target. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Our functionality is unmatched, but our synergistic, short-term relationships and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our content but our ability to utilize. We think that most synergistic splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough CSS. Do you have a plan to become granular? At Meland Konsernet, we understand how to strategize super-super-intuitively. A company that can redefine fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to exploit easily. Think transparent. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to matrix. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We have proven we know that it is better to seize virally than to deliver compellingly. Do you have a game plan to become integrated? Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. Without preplanned macro-obfuscation, user-defined data hygiene are forced to become innovative. Imagine a combination of AJAX and VOIP. We understand that if you recontextualize efficiently then you may also streamline dynamically. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! At Meland Konsernet, we understand how to enhance compellingly. Do you have a plan of action to become back-end? The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our social-network-based all-hands meetings and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be B2B2C? The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We will widen our aptitude to scale without decrementing our capability to leverage. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a C2C2B scheme for managing unplanned-for e-tailers? Imagine a combination of PGP and Python. Imagine a combination of ASP and PGP. Meland Konsernet has refactored the idea of accounting. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. The super-magnetic mindshare factor is social-network-based, one-to-one. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the standard industry term "power shifts" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become global? What does it really mean to cultivate "interactively"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Without ROI metrics, you will lack infrastructures. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is!