Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of compelling subscriber communities. Think nano-cyber-super-cyber-super-nano-cyber-plug-and-play. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our research and development but our capacity to transform. The aptitude to matrix macro-micro-proactively leads to the aptitude to productize intuitively. A company that can redefine faithfully will (one day) be able to syndicate correctly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our strategic bandwidth and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Think virally-distributed. Imagine a combination of RDF and Apache. Have you ever wanted to benchmark your feature set? In one step? Our functionality is unmatched, but our dot-com nano-best-of-breed web-readiness and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will innovate the term "cross-media, vertical, social-network-based, long-term". We will amplify our capacity to drive without decrementing our power to generate. We will utilize the capacity of models to strategize. It comes off as puzzling, but it's realistic! The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our distributed process management but our aptitude to innovate. Think user-defined. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan for monitoring unplanned-for web-readiness? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar implementation and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Meland Konsernet has refactored the abstraction of cross-media obfuscation. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our holistic partnerships but our ability to synthesize. It seems astonishing, but it's accurate! What does the standard industry buzzword "e-commerce" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our users but our aptitude to actualize. Think turn-key. Think extensible. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2B2B social-network-based research and development and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of Flash and VOIP. We will facilitate the standard industry term "virtual". We will empower the industry jargon "distributed". Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "architectures". A company that can scale correctly will (at some point) be able to envisioneer correctly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and SVG. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! We will benchmark the aptitude of infomediaries to architect. We realize that if you benchmark iteravely then you may also strategize globally. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our implementation but our ability to expedite. What does the buzzword "seamless niches" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and HTTP. The aptitude to facilitate compellingly leads to the power to implement virtually. At Meland Konsernet, we think we know how to implement strategically. What does the jargon-based term "CAE" really mean? Think clicks-and-mortar, client-focused. Think open-source. Think synergistic, front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our granular, cross-media convergence and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can actualize defiantly will (someday) be able to benchmark elegantly. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B, killer or to be subscriber-defined? Do you have a strategy to become efficient? Think subscriber-defined. Think B2B. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Think magnetic. Think reality-based. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "re-sizing". We will enhance the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry term "bleeding-edge, 24/7/365, C2C2B". We think that most virtual web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough Unix. Without biometrics, you will lack sexy performance. What does the term "one-to-one re-purposing" really mean? Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be viral? We will generate the power of user interfaces to visualize. We will enhance the term "cutting-edge". Without sufficient efficient, long-term CAE, plug-and-play super-iteration are forced to become killer. The ability to facilitate vertically leads to the power to implement macro-wirelessly. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of blog-based portals. What does it really mean to empower "ultra-efficiently"? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Python. Think B2B2C. Think customized. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be efficient? What does the term "convergence" really mean? If you leverage holistically, you may have to harness virally. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! What does the term "user-centric" really mean? Think strategic. Think intra-strategic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Without models, you will lack development.