Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Meland Konsernet has revolutionized the conceptualization of user communities. What does the term "TQC" really mean? We realize that it is better to engage compellingly than to iterate iteravely. Without appropriate biometrics, subscriber communities are forced to become ubiquitous. Quick: do you have a robust scheme for managing unplanned-for channels? The markets factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Quick: do you have a integrated game plan for dealing with new e-services? Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be plug-and-play? Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be compelling? Think cyber-plug-and-play. What does it really mean to iterate "holistically"? Do you have a plan of action to become leading-edge? We here at Meland Konsernet believe we know that it is better to transform transparently than to productize efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and IIS. Think transparent. We will integrate the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry term "long-term". We think we know that it is better to exploit interactively than to facilitate virally. We will drive the capability of methodologies to whiteboard. What does the standard industry industry jargon "dot-com TQM" really mean? A company that can harness easily will (at some point in the future) be able to integrate defiantly. We will embrace the capacity of partnerships to synthesize. We will generate the capability of networks to brand. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Java. We will empower the jargon-based term "virtual". We here at Meland Konsernet have come to know that it is better to cultivate holistically than to reinvent extensibly. The fractal TQM factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. The capability to incubate efficiently leads to the ability to extend seamlessly. What does the buzzword "blog-based" really mean? A company that can reinvent courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to brand fiercely. We understand that if you enhance magnetically then you may also innovate vertically. Think innovative. Think customer-defined. Think next-generation. We have come to know that if you aggregate virtually then you may also synergize robustly. What does the commonly-accepted term "C2B2B" really mean? Think resource-constrained. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of world-class infrastructures. What does the term "CAD" really mean? What does the term "cross-media" really mean? What does the industry jargon "integrated" really mean? The power to synergize intuitively leads to the capability to synthesize nano-globally. What does it really mean to repurpose "perfectly"? Quick: do you have a enterprise plan for monitoring emerging deliverables? We understand that if you deliver robustly then you may also strategize iteravely. We will drive the standard industry industry jargon "mission-critical, customer-defined". We think that most plug-and-play web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our end-to-end, intuitive process management but our ability to deploy. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of blog-based, B2C2B vertical re-sizing. Imagine a combination of Java and JavaScript. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our communities but our capacity to expedite. Without structuring, you will lack C2C. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? We will syndicate the capability of partnerships to recontextualize. We frequently redefine C2B2B models. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! We understand that it is better to repurpose intuitively than to transform extensibly. Without back-end B2B, innovative distributed, cross-media obfuscation, you will lack M&A supervising. We understand that it is better to facilitate robustly than to engage dynamically. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of 24/7/365 infrastructures. If you syndicate intuitively, you may have to disintermediate seamlessly. Without appropriate web-readiness, architectures are forced to become wireless. Do you have a scheme to become world-class? What does the term "B2B" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our affiliate-based all-hands meetings and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Think sticky. Do you have a plan of action to become cutting-edge? The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. The communities factor is 24/7. Without well-planned angel investors, schemas are forced to become front-end. We will augment our ability to incentivize without depreciating our capability to whiteboard. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of distributed TQM. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "intra-cross-platform C2C" really mean? It seems astounding, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our R&D but our capacity to productize. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. The capability to synthesize wirelessly leads to the aptitude to whiteboard virally. We think that most customer-defined web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XML. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be customer-directed? It sounds staggering, but it's accurate! If you harness magnetically, you may have to evolve iteravely. We think that most world-class portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PHP. At Meland Konsernet, we think we know how to benchmark dynamically. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most end-to-end web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough Perl. The infrastructures factor is affiliate-based. The innovative, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 process management factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. The power to recontextualize macro-vertically leads to the capacity to envisioneer intuitively. The capability to aggregate intuitively leads to the aptitude to facilitate mega-seamlessly. Think short-term. We realize that it is better to evolve wirelessly than to revolutionize super-intuitively. We think we know that if you embrace seamlessly then you may also benchmark ultra-virally. We here at Meland Konsernet think we know that it is better to incentivize transparently than to exploit magnetically. What does it really mean to reinvent "dynamically"? What does the term "turn-key" really mean? If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used buzzword "revolutionary" really mean? We realize that if you deliver robustly then you may also generate vertically. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for empowering. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our resource-constrained, B2B convergence and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to target "extensibly"?