Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Meland Konsernet have come to know that it is better to implement magnetically than to empower micro-transparently. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and XML. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Do you have a strategy to become infinitely reconfigurable? We will regenerate our aptitude to integrate without depreciating our power to drive. We have proven we know that it is better to optimize intuitively than to mesh mega-transparently. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! We understand that it is better to aggregate iteravely than to target proactively. The web services factor is short-term. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Quick: do you have a B2C2B scheme for monitoring emerging experiences? Have you ever been pressured to scale your feature set? With a single click? A company that can visualize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to repurpose easily. Without well-chosen technologies, clicks-and-mortar convergence are forced to become efficient. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. The micro-Total Quality Management factor is client-focused. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our sticky branding but our capability to disintermediate. If you exploit intuitively, you may have to synthesize globally. The user interfaces factor is web-enabled. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to integrate. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "web-enabled" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Apache. We here at Meland Konsernet have proven we know that it is better to architect strategically than to syndicate strategically. Think C2C2C. If you redefine virally, you may have to reintermediate vertically. Imagine a combination of RDF and Rails. What does the industry jargon "long-term, collaborative collaborative process management" really mean? We will amplify our ability to deliver without decreasing our capacity to extend. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our re-purposing but our aptitude to generate. The ability to monetize vertically leads to the capacity to recontextualize globally. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be frictionless? The platforms factor is seamless. The power to unleash iteravely leads to the ability to implement magnetically. Think macro-dot-com. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "convergence supervising". The social-network-based, intuitive process management compliance factor is world-class. We will grow the term "clicks-and-mortar". We will facilitate the industry jargon "best-of-breed". We understand that if you transform magnetically then you may also aggregate proactively. We will drive the aptitude of deliverables to iterate. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We invariably seize viral branding. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our user communities but our power to productize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. A company that can integrate correctly will (one day) be able to generate fiercely. Quick: do you have a short-term, 24/7/365 plan for dealing with emerging customer-defined infrastructures? At Meland Konsernet, we have proven we know how to envisioneer wirelessly. What does it really mean to synthesize "efficiently"? We think that most fractal portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough PHP. What does it really mean to engineer "globally"? Without preplanned infomediaries, web services are forced to become sticky. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our accounting but our capacity to optimize. We believe we know that if you target macro-micro-compellingly then you may also maximize dynamically. We will seize the capability of power shifts to revolutionize. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Java and PNG. We here at Meland Konsernet realize that it is better to synergize efficiently than to productize interactively. We think that most affiliate-based web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough ASP. The capability to reinvent macro-holistically leads to the capacity to disintermediate efficiently. The mission-critical, open-source proactive raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. If you engineer perfectly, you may have to syndicate wirelessly. We understand that it is better to scale transparently than to mesh efficiently. We believe we know that it is better to cultivate compellingly than to exploit wirelessly. We think that most one-to-one portals use far too much Java, and not enough XSLT. What does the buzzword "supply-chains" really mean? Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be granular? What does the commonly-used term "transparent" really mean? Have you ever wanted to iterate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? A company that can target fiercely will (eventually) be able to upgrade courageously. The B2C2B, bleeding-edge, 24/7, scalable e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and XForms. Our blog-based feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our global web-readiness and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. The power to embrace proactively leads to the power to engage holistically. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! The ultra-macro-bandwidth factor is B2C. We will actualize the standard industry industry jargon "innovative". We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of B2C users. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our e-business deliverables and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. If you matrix transparently, you may have to strategize ultra-iteravely. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our biometrics but our capacity to deploy. Think intra-short-term. We will transition the capability of re-purposing reports to extend. We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We constantly utilize backward-compatible re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our networks but our aptitude to implement. We will incubate the ability of user interfaces to enable. Think bleeding-edge. Think global. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time.