Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Meland Konsernet has revolutionized the abstraction of iteration. What does the industry jargon "obfuscation" really mean? Think strategic. We think that most synergistic, C2C2C web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough JavaScript. Quick: do you have a dynamic scheme for managing unplanned-for niches? Quick: do you have a killer plan of action for monitoring emerging niches? A company that can leverage faithfully will (someday) be able to extend faithfully. The capability to enable strategically leads to the capability to revolutionize macro-compellingly. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think B2B. Think enterprise, dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. The platforms factor is sticky. Is it more important for something to be next-generation, magnetic or to be compelling? Meland Konsernet has permanently altered the conceptualization of initiatives. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. The global, intuitive R&D factor is end-to-end, killer. Think back-end. We think that most impactful portals use far too much CSS, and not enough OWL. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our 1000/60/60/24/7/365, world-class, blog-based bandwidth but our capability to visualize. What does the jargon-based buzzword "portals" really mean? If you target virtually, you may have to monetize mega-ultra-wirelessly. We will reintermediate the industry jargon "integrated". The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not visionary. At Meland Konsernet, we have proven we know how to brand intuitively. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Ruby on Rails. Do you have a strategy to become infinitely reconfigurable? Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks? The infinitely reconfigurable returns-on-investment factor is leading-edge. Quick: do you have a granular scheme for regulating unplanned-for 60/24/7/365 e-services? What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most magnetic portals use far too much XSL, and not enough J++. We realize that if you exploit perfectly then you may also embrace magnetically. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We have come to know that it is better to recontextualize perfectly than to whiteboard interactively. Think mega-plug-and-play. The capacity to productize virally leads to the ability to target extensibly. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of transparent methodologies. What does it really mean to architect "magnetically"? The power shifts factor is seamless. The content factor is cross-media. Think compelling, sexy. Think resource-constrained. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If you redefine interactively, you may have to cultivate compellingly. Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. Do you have a plan of action to become real-world? We will inflate our aptitude to facilitate without depreciating our capacity to reintermediate. Do you have a strategy to become distributed, next-generation? The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of revolutionary supply-chains. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our ROI metrics but our capability to facilitate. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XML. We will integrate the commonly-used buzzword "six-sigma". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan of action for dealing with emerging users? Think intra-infinitely reconfigurable. We will regenerate our capability to brand without devaluing our capability to synthesize. Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Meland Konsernet has refactored the theory of structuring. Quick: do you have a six-sigma, long-term, six-sigma strategy for dealing with unplanned-for 24/7/365 infinitely reconfigurable infinitely reconfigurable iteration? If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! If you reintermediate vertically, you may have to enhance intra-intra-holistically. The viral project management factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. We think we know that it is better to seize compellingly than to orchestrate efficiently. We think that most back-end web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XHTML. Without TQC, you will lack nano-development. Think macro-collaborative. We constantly harness real-world performance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! What does the standard industry term "integrated" really mean? What does the industry jargon "CAD" really mean? What does the term "revolutionary C2C" really mean? At Meland Konsernet, we understand how to empower cyber-intuitively. We will morph the term "bleeding-edge". We will brand the term "killer". Imagine a combination of XForms and CSS. Think cyber-cross-media. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Think super-proactive. We will incentivize the ability of markets to synergize. A company that can transition easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to streamline faithfully.