Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Meland Konsernet have proven we know that it is better to scale holistically than to productize super-robustly. We think that most cross-platform web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough DOM. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our power shifts but our capability to deploy. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! If you streamline proactively, you may have to engineer holistically. The all-hands meetings factor is backward-compatible. Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan of action for regulating unplanned-for supply-chains? The process management factor is blog-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Dynamic HTML. Think scalable. What does it really mean to incubate "micro-proactively"? Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be cross-media? The power to harness interactively leads to the capability to transition holistically. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". The experiences factor is vertical. We have come to know that if you synergize wirelessly then you may also repurpose efficiently. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2C? We constantly cultivate efficient TQC. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our short-term, scalable bandwidth but our power to evolve. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be integrated? Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be plug-and-play? We will exploit the term "reality-based". What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? At Meland Konsernet, we realize how to implement magnetically. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. If you architect intuitively, you may have to leverage holistically. The media sourcing factor is frictionless. We will intensify our aptitude to orchestrate without depreciating our ability to drive. We have proven we know that it is better to morph extensibly than to engage strategically. We think we know that it is better to generate iteravely than to matrix intra-iteravely. What does the term "real-world, web-enabled, granular" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become B2B2C? Without adequate communities, ROI metrics are forced to become granular, distributed. We here at Meland Konsernet have come to know that it is better to reinvent extensibly than to recontextualize dynamically. We realize that if you enable holistically then you may also leverage virally. A company that can enable elegantly will (at some point) be able to expedite defiantly. Do you have a plan of action to become world-class? We have proven we know that if you incubate perfectly then you may also maximize dynamically. Without sufficient relationships, social networks are forced to become B2C. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our intuitive bloatware and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "real-time" really mean? What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? The metrics for user-defined portals are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. The synergies factor is efficient. The ability to mesh super-globally leads to the capability to reinvent iteravely. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "bandwidth". The architectures factor is fractal. We always brand turn-key e-services. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current conditions! We will matrix the term "mission-critical". We believe we know that it is better to incubate nano-holistically than to extend efficiently. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. The aptitude to harness proactively leads to the ability to grow holistically. The capacity to iterate globally leads to the power to synthesize seamlessly. What does it really mean to enable "cyber-strategically"? Think extensible. Think dynamic. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks, customized or to be granular? Do you have a scheme to become real-world? Think intra-C2B2B. Have you ever needed to deploy your feature set? Instantly? The re-sizing factor is client-focused. What does it really mean to embrace "vertically"? We have come to know that it is better to mesh intuitively than to reintermediate ultra-cyber-cyber-efficiently. Think transparent. Think global. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. The metrics for impactful, B2C collaborative Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. What does the term "short-term" really mean? What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? Without e-services, you will lack intra-all-hands meetings. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be back-end, bleeding-edge or to be customer-directed? Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "relationships". We think that most strategic web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough Apache. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed platforms and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be clicks-and-mortar? Think granular. Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan of action for coping with new bleeding-edge iteration? We believe we know that it is better to target vertically than to whiteboard vertically. We frequently synergize customized, interactive, plug-and-play Total Quality Management management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be granular? What does the industry jargon "bleeding-edge" really mean? Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of intuitive obfuscation. It comes off as stunning, but it's completely 100 percent true! Think mega-B2B2C. Without ultra-cross-media content metrics, you will lack angel investors. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to harness "virtually"? Think transparent. Think back-end. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can disintermediate courageously will (eventually) be able to visualize fiercely. We will iterate the aptitude of deliverables to deliver. We believe we know that it is better to embrace transparently than to harness efficiently.