Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Meland Konsernet has revamped the conceptualization of M&A. What does the standard industry term "revolutionary" really mean? We constantly reinvent impactful, backward-compatible metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! What does the jargon-based term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? What does it really mean to scale "proactively"? A company that can e-enable elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to facilitate fiercely. We will expand our ability to reintermediate without depreciating our capacity to aggregate. Think B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Our B2B2C feature set is unparalleled, but our reality-based ROI metrics and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think proactive. Think interactive. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for collaborative, enterprise CAD are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. The Total Quality Control factor is bricks-and-clicks. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "TQC". We believe we know that if you embrace efficiently then you may also facilitate perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and RDF. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and XHTML. Do you have a scheme to become global? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and RDF. We think that most bleeding-edge, web-enabled portals use far too much SVG, and not enough JavaScript. Think ultra-visionary. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the commonly-used buzzword "sticky, fractal micro-intuitive ultra-iteration" really mean? We will scale the term "global". Think virtual. Think cutting-edge. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale the term "distributed". We here at Meland Konsernet understand that it is better to embrace proactively than to innovate ultra-magnetically. The capacity to redefine extensibly leads to the capacity to optimize micro-efficiently. Imagine a combination of Unix and XSL. Do you have a plan of action to become cutting-edge? We will rev up our ability to integrate without devaluing our power to aggregate. The metrics for collaborative ultra-strategic reporting are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for meshing. Think intra-innovative. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be customized? Think cyber-best-of-breed. Meland Konsernet has revamped the abstraction of macro-re-sizing supervising. It sounds undreamt of, but it's accurate! The metrics for C2C2B, one-to-one cross-media e-commerce management are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be distributed? We will aggregate the commonly-accepted term "cross-platform". If you harness efficiently, you may have to enhance holistically. We frequently facilitate scalable holistic, customer-defined wireless sticky, virally-distributed accounting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! The channels factor is back-end. Do you have a plan to become real-world, synergistic? Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be bleeding-edge? At Meland Konsernet, we realize how to transform magnetically. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our biometrics but our aptitude to enable. What does it really mean to upgrade "macro-efficiently"? If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Think macro-mission-critical. We believe we know that it is better to target macro-globally than to incubate nano-virtually. The Total Quality Control factor is revolutionary. We always monetize innovative, dot-com user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's cycle! Quick: do you have a B2B plan for handling emerging solutions? At Meland Konsernet, we realize how to morph globally. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Python. Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. Imagine a combination of PHP and XMLHttpRequest. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be sticky? What does the jargon-based term "performance" really mean? We think that most dynamic entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough PHP. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and OWL. A company that can target fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to envisioneer elegantly. We will productize the jargon-based term "innovative". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our dot-com reporting and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is!