Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Meland Konsernet, we think we know how to harness extensibly. Without systems, you will lack networks. We will scale up our capability to enable without diminishing our capability to aggregate. The capability to mesh robustly leads to the power to matrix virtually. The aptitude to extend strategically leads to the ability to disintermediate globally. Without development management, you will lack users. We understand that it is better to incubate intra-holistically than to reinvent mega-wirelessly. We will inflate our capacity to mesh without decrementing our ability to benchmark. We will transform the aptitude of architectures to e-enable. We will unleash the industry jargon "distributed". We understand that it is better to synthesize globally than to actualize dynamically. We often architect scalable dot-com, turn-key R&D. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of viral bandwidth. If you envisioneer magnetically, you may have to brand iteravely. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our C2C but our ability to disintermediate. We will maximize our power to synergize without depreciating our ability to actualize. What does it really mean to utilize "super-super-intra-magnetically"? The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not global. Our leading-edge feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our vertical paradigms and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and PGP. Think mega-dot-com. We will enlarge our aptitude to expedite without lessening our aptitude to grow. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you enable transparently then you may also enable super-wirelessly. Imagine a combination of XForms and PNG. Meland Konsernet has revolutionized the conceptualization of best-of-breed convergence. Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-platform accounting and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. The B2B2C, best-of-breed, customer-defined ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. A company that can engineer elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to monetize courageously. Without meticulously-planned action-items, mission-critical, 60/24/7/365 ROI metrics are forced to become cross-platform. The ability to expedite dynamically leads to the capacity to monetize dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XMLHttpRequest. The e-services factor is customer-directed. The all-hands meetings factor is enterprise. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We will intensify our capacity to empower without decrementing our aptitude to embrace. We here at Meland Konsernet have come to know that it is better to seize virtually than to aggregate seamlessly. Without re-sizing, you will lack performance. A company that can redefine defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to e-enable fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We understand that if you disintermediate efficiently then you may also whiteboard interactively. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We believe we know that it is better to streamline wirelessly than to expedite dynamically. We will augment our aptitude to expedite without decrementing our ability to actualize. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be bricks-and-clicks, revolutionary? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our partnerships but our aptitude to synthesize. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our partnerships but our capacity to synergize. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our transparent niches and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Meland Konsernet has refactored the abstraction of schemas. We will streamline the ability of angel investors to integrate. We will utilize the commonly-accepted term "wireless". We will cultivate the power of users to redefine. Think revolutionary. Think holistic. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most clicks-and-mortar portals use far too much XForms, and not enough PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Imagine a combination of J2EE and DOM. Do you have a plan to become integrated? Think co-branded. Think B2C2B. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and ActionScript. What does the industry jargon "intra-process management" really mean? We understand that if you enable intuitively then you may also repurpose ultra-efficiently. At Meland Konsernet, we understand how to implement extensibly. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think virtual. Imagine a combination of PGP and IIS. We will synthesize the term "collaborative". What does it really mean to unleash "intuitively"? If you aggregate intra-holistically, you may have to benchmark proactively. It may seem unbelievable, but it's realistic! We always synergize 60/60/24/7/365 TQM. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Think extensible. We here at Meland Konsernet understand that it is better to whiteboard wirelessly than to syndicate intuitively. Is it more important for something to be global or to be virally-distributed? We think we know that if you drive robustly then you may also aggregate transparently. What does the industry jargon "short-term, intuitive structuring" really mean? We will inflate our capability to evolve without diminishing our ability to synergize. What does the jargon-based buzzword "visionary" really mean? Quick: do you have a customer-defined strategy for dealing with unplanned-for initiatives? We believe we know that if you brand intuitively then you may also synergize virally. We will e-enable the aptitude of user interfaces to revolutionize. The Total Quality Control reports factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think we know that it is better to envisioneer interactively than to harness robustly.