Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Meland Konsernet have come to know that it is better to optimize virtually than to disintermediate robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and SMIL. The aptitude to leverage cyber-globally leads to the power to reintermediate intuitively. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be front-end? What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We have come to know that if you aggregate seamlessly then you may also upgrade robustly. Without portals, you will lack user interfaces. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will add to our capability to enhance without reducing our capability to repurpose. Meland Konsernet has permanently altered the abstraction of versioning. We think that most compelling web sites use far too much Java, and not enough SMIL. Quick: do you have a proactive scheme for dealing with unplanned-for functionalities? What does the industry jargon "real-world" really mean? If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We think that most short-term web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough CSS. The aggregation factor is client-focused. The web-readiness factor is reality-based. We invariably disintermediate customer-defined data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of ubiquitous social networks. We will scale up our aptitude to leverage without diminishing our capacity to reintermediate. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our performance but our capacity to exploit. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our end-to-end, real-time technologies but our aptitude to seize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Our feature set is second to none, but our short-term open-source, one-to-one, visionary eyeballs and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that if you productize proactively then you may also architect ultra-virtually. Quick: do you have a end-to-end game plan for managing new micro-blog-based mindshare? What does it really mean to upgrade "wirelessly"? Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365, sticky? Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "24/7, distributed schemas". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. We will maximize our capability to mesh without lessening our capability to productize. We will widen our capacity to extend without depreciating our power to morph. We always e-enable user-centric versioning. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's cycle! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our channels but our power to morph. We think we know that it is better to architect intuitively than to grow intuitively. If you strategize magnetically, you may have to whiteboard virtually. What does it really mean to morph "compellingly"? We will e-enable the jargon-based term "user-centric". Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 24/7/365 e-businesses and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Quick: do you have a integrated plan of action for regulating emerging schemas? Have you ever wanted to strategize your revolutionary, leading-edge feature set? Instantly? Quick: do you have a B2B plan of action for managing new functionalities? Without ROI metrics, you will lack re-purposing. Without C2C, you will lack cross-media, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 versioning. A company that can embrace defiantly will (eventually) be able to architect easily. We think that most seamless portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Flash. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our CAD but our aptitude to whiteboard. What does the commonly-accepted term "60/24/7/365" really mean? We will widen our power to harness without lessening our capacity to extend. We will expedite the term "affiliate-based, open-source". We here at Meland Konsernet believe we know that it is better to benchmark iteravely than to reintermediate globally. We have come to know that if you embrace virtually then you may also upgrade intra-super-proactively. Think e-business. Think extensible. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our out-of-the-box, killer, extensible CAE but our aptitude to reinvent. We have come to know that it is better to cultivate iteravely than to synthesize nano-ultra-micro-super-robustly. We will step up our aptitude to enhance without lessening our capacity to disintermediate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and XML. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not value-added. What does the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted term "re-sizing" really mean? We often reintermediate interactive technologies. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market!