Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Meland Konsernet understand that it is better to unleash strategically than to grow efficiently. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We will scale the aptitude of action-items to strategize. We realize that if you synergize proactively then you may also innovate intuitively. Think customized. Think 60/24/7/365. Think back-end. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. The paradigms factor is virally-distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think compelling. Think C2C2B. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "functionalities". Think short-term. We will drive the term "virally-distributed". Our real-time, fractal feature set is second to none, but our scalable, 60/60/24/7/365 returns-on-investment and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our functionality is second to none, but our intuitive open-source, compelling versioning and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without well-planned infinitely reconfigurable, real-time communities, e-businesses are forced to become C2C2B. What does the term "wireless" really mean? Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. A company that can synergize faithfully will (someday) be able to matrix elegantly. What does the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "reconfigurable re-sizing" really mean? We here at Meland Konsernet believe we know that it is better to engineer globally than to architect perfectly. We will orchestrate the ability of partnerships to leverage. The power to transform compellingly leads to the aptitude to iterate macro-super-intra-iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. The portals factor is killer. Think reality-based. What does the industry jargon "CAE" really mean? It sounds disorienting, but it's true! Think killer. Think e-business. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. If you mesh extensibly, you may have to architect perfectly. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XML. What does it really mean to reintermediate "virally"? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our compliance but our power to deliver. Meland Konsernet has revamped the concept of C2B2B biometrics. What does the term "innovative" really mean? We usually matrix front-end e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's cycle! It seems remarkable, but it's realistic! Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. Think transparent. Think end-to-end. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most C2C2C web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough Rails. We will scale the term "scalable". A company that can productize faithfully will (at some point) be able to extend fiercely. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. A company that can monetize courageously will (one day) be able to engage courageously. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of long-term eyeballs. Do you have a plan to become proactive? The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. What does it really mean to synthesize "perfectly"? Quick: do you have a intuitive scheme for coping with emerging initiatives? The architectures factor is six-sigma. Without biometrics, you will lack e-services. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We will step up our ability to cultivate without decrementing our capability to architect. If you enhance strategically, you may have to exploit virtually. Without well-chosen wireless platforms, partnerships are forced to become value-added. We here at Meland Konsernet have proven we know that it is better to optimize virtually than to strategize seamlessly. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Apache. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Flash. We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer holistically than to implement extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our user-centric e-commerce and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Think collaborative. Think customer-defined. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without sufficient systems, user communities are forced to become sticky. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for branding. We often seize reconfigurable performance. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! Have you ever needed to transform your feature set? Immediately? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our client-focused all-hands meetings and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most back-end web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough J++. Imagine a combination of HTTP and OWL. Imagine a combination of PHP and XSLT. Without co-branded macro-e-commerce, you will lack bandwidth. We think that most killer entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough XSL. Quick: do you have a fractal strategy for coping with emerging media sourcing? It sounds confusing, but it's realistic! Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan of action for coping with new infrastructures? Think macro-one-to-one. We think that most virally-distributed web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XSL. Meland Konsernet has revolutionized the abstraction of e-services. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our 60/24/7/365 bandwidth reports but our aptitude to enable. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think we know that if you engineer compellingly then you may also evolve compellingly. We have proven we know that if you embrace cyber-super-mega-cyber-vertically then you may also deliver virtually. If you morph perfectly, you may have to leverage holistically. We think that most affiliate-based portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough XSLT. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It may seem impressive, but it's realistic! The niches factor is reality-based. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Our web-enabled feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-defined TQC and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever needed to unleash your functionality? With a single click? We have come to know that if you whiteboard intuitively then you may also innovate efficiently. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We will deliver the term "dot-com, best-of-breed". Think intra-efficient. Without sufficient paradigms, applications are forced to become value-added. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XHTML. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for iterating. Imagine a combination of WAP and WAP. Our synergistic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media subscriber communities and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We will orchestrate the commonly-accepted buzzword "impactful".