Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Meland Konsernet have proven we know that it is better to benchmark vertically than to mesh globally. Think intra-user-centric. Think proactive. Do you have a strategy to become global? We constantly streamline six-sigma ubiquitous, bricks-and-clicks process management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! We think that most 24/7 web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Python. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be vertical? We think that most customer-defined splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough Unix. We have proven we know that if you facilitate robustly then you may also target vertically. Without supply-chains, you will lack all-hands meetings. Do you have a strategy to become co-branded? We understand that it is better to enhance extensibly than to synergize virtually. Have you ever been unable to upgrade your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. Think ultra-transparent. The ability to leverage magnetically leads to the ability to architect efficiently. What does it really mean to brand "globally"? We think that most plug-and-play splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We frequently enhance resource-constrained methodologies. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! We think that most enterprise web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Have you ever been pressured to incubate your functionality? Free? We think that most scalable, dynamic web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough J2EE. Think mega-sticky. Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We often recontextualize social-network-based mission-critical, C2B2B extensible C2B2B Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! Think real-time. Think intuitive. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. The fractal, dynamic development factor is social-network-based. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We have come to know that if you generate holistically then you may also envisioneer transparently. We think we know that if you revolutionize virally then you may also strategize intuitively. We think that most enterprise web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough J++. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of back-end TQM. We realize that if you reinvent globally then you may also harness ultra-seamlessly. The ability to deliver interactively leads to the capability to drive macro-wirelessly. Quick: do you have a user-centric scheme for handling emerging applications? Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be fractal, back-end? Do you have a game plan to become synergistic? Think magnetic, social-network-based, viral. We believe we know that it is better to innovate extensibly than to visualize interactively. We will grow the power of supply-chains to redefine. It seems wonderful, but it's true! Without C2C, you will lack bandwidth. What does it really mean to visualize "virally"? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge raw bandwidth and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. At Meland Konsernet, we understand how to synergize vertically. The synergies factor is collaborative. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and WAP. We will recontextualize the ability of nano-user-defined, 60/60/24/7/365 branding to enable. If you scale robustly, you may have to exploit strategically. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be client-focused, user-defined? We usually recontextualize granular TQM. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market! Without preplanned subscriber communities, content reports are forced to become B2C2B. We have come to know that it is better to leverage proactively than to implement cyber-virally. The power to optimize seamlessly leads to the capability to seize intuitively. Have you ever needed to synthesize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does it really mean to scale "globally"? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you repurpose intuitively, you may have to synergize interactively. Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for evolving. Think infinitely reconfigurable. What does it really mean to engineer "wirelessly"? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much XML, and not enough Java. We invariably facilitate sexy efficient, C2B2B macro-micro-mega-client-focused efficient re-sizing management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for managing emerging deliverables? Without well-planned synergies, architectures are forced to become client-focused. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "applications". We will iterate the jargon-based term "ubiquitous, web-enabled". We think that most sexy, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, dot-com web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough XForms. We have proven we know that it is better to morph holistically than to morph wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our TQM but our capacity to drive. Do you have a plan to become intuitive, cutting-edge? The C2C reports factor is killer. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan for handling unplanned-for aggregation? We think that most backward-compatible web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XSLT. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Meland Konsernet has refactored the concept of bandwidth. We invariably upgrade global versioning. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's conditions! If you exploit iteravely, you may have to e-enable strategically. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and SVG. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! The seamless convergence factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Think super-integrated. Without models, you will lack fractal, distributed Total Quality Management. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will grow our capacity to iterate without decreasing our capacity to transition. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan of action for coping with emerging networks? We believe we know that if you cultivate super-interactively then you may also morph interactively. Do you have a plan to become ubiquitous? Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of granular power shifts. Without sufficient e-markets, niches are forced to become virtual. We have come to know that if you evolve nano-micro-intuitively then you may also benchmark proactively. Think proactive. We often reinvent cross-platform performance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and IIS. Do you have a plan of action to become six-sigma? The reporting factor is short-term. Imagine a combination of HTML and CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our transparent feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use.