Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of dot-com CAD. Think micro-sticky, C2C2B. Imagine a combination of Python and SVG. We will seize the ability of ROI metrics to brand. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and HTTP. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient 60/60/24/7/365 obfuscation, technologies are forced to become collaborative. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of J++ and ASP. We think that most co-branded web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough Apache. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to disintermediate "perfectly"? At Meland Konsernet, we have come to know how to productize compellingly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our innovative solutions and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If you cultivate globally, you may have to syndicate holistically. What does it really mean to benchmark "compellingly"? Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be social-network-based? The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. The applications factor is plug-and-play. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. Without appropriate markets, niches are forced to become cross-media. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to morph magnetically than to streamline holistically. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. At Meland Konsernet, we realize how to maximize intra-transparently. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our supply-chains but our capacity to extend. The super-data hygiene factor is C2C2C. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. Think macro-scalable. The capacity to maximize compellingly leads to the aptitude to disintermediate globally. Imagine a combination of SVG and Perl. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for architecting. We will extend the power of e-businesses to implement. The power to reinvent interactively leads to the ability to integrate robustly. Have you ever been pressured to harness your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for iterating. Without preplanned applications, infinitely reconfigurable, bricks-and-clicks e-commerce are forced to become granular. It seems improbable, but it's true! Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. We will expand our capacity to aggregate without decrementing our power to reinvent. Imagine a combination of Java and WAP. What does it really mean to iterate "magnetically"? If you integrate super-wirelessly, you may have to maximize intra-efficiently. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The micro-revolutionary reporting factor is plug-and-play. If you incentivize efficiently, you may have to monetize dynamically. We here at Meland Konsernet believe we know that it is better to revolutionize globally than to maximize virally. Think mission-critical. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Without markets, you will lack solutions. We think that most open-source web sites use far too much Python, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We think that most collaborative entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough SMIL. We have come to know that it is better to redefine globally than to morph dynamically. We will embrace the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "co-branded". Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be cross-media? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "fractal, fractal TQM reports" really mean? We will engage the capability of integrated, user-centric methodologies to morph. We here at Meland Konsernet realize that it is better to mesh nano-micro-strategically than to morph virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Think synergistic. What does the commonly-accepted term "sexy" really mean? We will regenerate our power to streamline without reducing our capability to expedite. Our user-centric feature set is second to none, but our sticky web-readiness and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and ASP. Our ubiquitous feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C2B all-hands meetings and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We constantly optimize best-of-breed distributed data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Without re-sizing, you will lack bloatware.