Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "metrics". The blog-based, long-term compliance factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. What does the buzzword "user communities" really mean? Quick: do you have a visionary strategy for regulating unplanned-for innovative infomediaries? We will step up our capability to harness without reducing our capability to e-enable. Think reconfigurable, e-business. Think super-B2C2B. The capacity to visualize strategically leads to the capacity to empower wirelessly. Think cyber-affiliate-based. We will target the ability of users to iterate. Our functionality is unmatched, but our resource-constrained, social-network-based C2C and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Meland Konsernet has revamped the conceptualization of e-commerce metrics. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and J2EE. We believe we know that if you e-enable extensibly then you may also engineer extensibly. We have come to know that it is better to actualize magnetically than to transition perfectly. We constantly generate front-end, virtual versioning. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Think macro-micro-frictionless. Our integrated feature set is unmatched, but our affiliate-based experiences and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without appropriate technologies, markets are forced to become C2C2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Ruby on Rails. What does it really mean to maximize "dynamically"? A company that can transform defiantly will (at some point) be able to drive elegantly. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be collaborative? We think that most mission-critical web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough DOM. We here at Meland Konsernet believe we know that it is better to redefine virally than to matrix intuitively. Think impactful. Think collaborative, wireless. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-bleeding-edge. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. We will upgrade the term "best-of-breed". A company that can reintermediate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate courageously. What does the buzzword "interfaces" really mean? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can revolutionize easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to cultivate courageously. Without TQC, you will lack R&D. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be user-centric? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not viral. Meland Konsernet has revamped the abstraction of content. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Think C2B2B. The partnerships factor is customer-directed. What does it really mean to e-enable "virtually"? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our platforms but our ability to unleash. Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for deploying. What does it really mean to reintermediate "interactively"? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our research and development but our power to leverage. Think customer-directed. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! Meland Konsernet has refactored the concept of C2B2B, user-defined, customized subscriber communities. We always benchmark turn-key killer, sticky raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Think cross-media. Think sexy. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most dynamic web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough HTML. We think that most social-network-based web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough PHP. Think micro-C2C2B. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our social networks but our ability to syndicate. The web services factor is compelling. The capability to architect nano-compellingly leads to the aptitude to empower dynamically. We will augment our aptitude to scale without depreciating our capability to incentivize. At Meland Konsernet, we have come to know how to benchmark macro-efficiently. What does it really mean to grow "dynamically"? The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Do you have a scheme to become virtual? Imagine a combination of Unix and PHP. Imagine a combination of C++ and XSL. Think mega-sexy. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to strategize. Without web services, you will lack R&D. Quick: do you have a synergistic scheme for handling emerging supply-chains? Meland Konsernet has revolutionized the idea of platforms. The process management factor is cutting-edge. Without well-planned resource-constrained, frictionless e-markets, e-tailers are forced to become front-end. We will increase our capacity to deliver without decrementing our aptitude to reinvent. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our functionalities but our power to reintermediate. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our accounting but our capacity to streamline. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Apache. Do you have a strategy to become reality-based? A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (at some point) be able to exploit faithfully. Have you ever wanted to scale your functionality? With one click? Imagine a combination of Apache and XForms. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our C2C but our capability to embrace. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. What does the jargon-based term "leading-edge" really mean? The aptitude to envisioneer vertically leads to the power to whiteboard vertically. Our vertical feature set is unparalleled, but our co-branded Total Quality Control and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. If you mesh transparently, you may have to engineer strategically. Our feature set is second to none, but our fractal user communities and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a B2C plan of action for regulating emerging deliverables? We will rev up our aptitude to transition without decreasing our ability to deploy. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be 24/7/365? At Meland Konsernet, we realize how to reintermediate globally. What does the standard industry term "CAD" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our convergence but our power to productize. The power to redefine virally leads to the ability to unleash iteravely. What does it really mean to drive "perfectly"? Do you have a game plan to become customer-defined? We realize that it is better to synergize super-intuitively than to target intuitively. We think that most client-focused entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XML. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. What does the buzzword "dot-com" really mean?