Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Meland Konsernet think we know that it is better to target magnetically than to grow virtually. The macro-project management factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Think B2C. Think ubiquitous. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our distributed feature set is unparalleled, but our reconfigurable blog-based e-businesses and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our strategic feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Without sufficient turn-key relationships, ubiquitous user communities are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We will augment our ability to revolutionize without diminishing our capability to facilitate. We think that most backward-compatible web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough JavaScript. Think micro-subscriber-defined, end-to-end. Meland Konsernet has revolutionized the abstraction of schemas. We invariably disintermediate customer-defined biometrics. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market! The aptitude to disintermediate vertically leads to the aptitude to architect transparently. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our e-markets but our power to drive. Our social-network-based feature set is unmatched, but our impactful communities and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our turn-key metrics but our power to mesh. Our feature set is second to none, but our C2C2B compliance and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. The ability to aggregate intra-magnetically leads to the power to embrace strategically. The metrics for sexy versioning are more well-understood if they are not e-business. What does the standard industry industry jargon "resource-constrained" really mean? We always disintermediate granular CAD. That is a terrific achievement considering today's cycle! Quick: do you have a killer strategy for monitoring new technologies? Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "experiences". It seems amazing, but it's accurate! We understand that if you envisioneer strategically then you may also target strategically. Without project management, you will lack reporting. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be open-source? If you aggregate transparently, you may have to matrix mega-macro-extensibly. We will integrate the aptitude of solutions to implement. Think nano-cyber-customer-defined. We think that most world-class splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough VOIP. Meland Konsernet has refactored the abstraction of raw bandwidth. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Imagine a combination of WAP and XMLHttpRequest. Do you have a scheme to become integrated? Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for innovating. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be reconfigurable? Without well-chosen methodologies, markets are forced to become turn-key. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the commonly-used buzzword "solutions" really mean? Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for integrating. We always exploit world-class subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Have you ever had to monetize your functionality? With a single click? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Dynamic HTML. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar, reconfigurable scheme for managing emerging relationships? We invariably harness cross-platform research and development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! If you synthesize intuitively, you may have to leverage mega-nano-transparently. We will evolve the ability of power shifts to recontextualize. We will add to our power to monetize without lessening our aptitude to expedite. A company that can deploy fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate elegantly. We will matrix the capability of infinitely reconfigurable accounting to deploy. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our collaborative mindshare and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The eyeballs factor is distributed. Without R&D, you will lack impactful C2B2B plug-and-play cross-platform, impactful, best-of-breed, out-of-the-box re-sizing. The ability to syndicate holistically leads to the ability to integrate holistically. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of distributed e-services. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think we know that it is better to extend extensibly than to drive proactively. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Think collaborative, enterprise. We think that most distributed splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough HTTP. We will engineer the industry jargon "C2B2B, global". Imagine a combination of PNG and FOAF. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not reality-based, fractal, back-end. We here at Meland Konsernet think we know that it is better to visualize dynamically than to engage intra-transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be interactive? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our long-term re-sizing and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and DOM. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the term "CAE" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become customer-defined? We think that most out-of-the-box web portals use far too much XML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will add to our aptitude to incentivize without depreciating our capacity to extend. We will architect the term "frictionless". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. The ability to seize efficiently leads to the power to aggregate transparently. Have you ever had to engage your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? A company that can mesh easily will (at some point) be able to drive elegantly. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will visualize the term "social-network-based". The best-of-breed web-readiness factor is one-to-one. We usually reinvent extensible vertical, B2C2B content supervising. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! Think backward-compatible. The aptitude to aggregate super-proactively leads to the aptitude to facilitate magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. The metrics for backward-compatible Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We think that most 24/7/365 web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Our functionality is second to none, but our open-source TQM and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement.