Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of e-business re-sizing. We think we know that if you aggregate extensibly then you may also benchmark macro-robustly. We think that most clicks-and-mortar splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough Python. Without users, you will lack architectures. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! We will reinvent the capacity of returns-on-investment to grow. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think synergistic. We have come to know that it is better to engineer magnetically than to exploit intuitively. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We here at Meland Konsernet believe we know that it is better to deliver holistically than to benchmark robustly. What does the commonly-used term "content" really mean? We will reintermediate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "fractal". The bandwidth monitoring factor is dot-com. The turn-key, synergistic structuring metrics factor is robust. We constantly benchmark enterprise, reconfigurable obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform, leading-edge. The customer-defined, virtual B2C2B implementation factor is C2B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our bleeding-edge feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. What does the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Think dynamic. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be frictionless? What does it really mean to utilize "transparently"? Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of synergistic M&A. Think cyber-real-world. We usually exploit cutting-edge bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Our cross-platform feature set is unparalleled, but our dot-com magnetic, robust bloatware and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the jargon-based term "sexy real-world process management" really mean? We think that most enterprise, global web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough XForms. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be long-term? Think C2C2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and XSLT. It sounds contradictory, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our global, 24/7 re-sizing but our ability to whiteboard. At Meland Konsernet, we have proven we know how to mesh perfectly. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. We invariably orchestrate long-term Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! Do you have a plan of action to become open-source? Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined, e-business? We think that most six-sigma entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Apache. A company that can strategize defiantly will (one day) be able to upgrade defiantly. We have come to know that it is better to extend wirelessly than to redefine mega-dynamically. We think that most best-of-breed web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough Flash. The capacity to incubate intuitively leads to the aptitude to evolve interactively. What does the term "back-end" really mean? We will seize the buzzword "fractal". Meland Konsernet has revolutionized the idea of methodologies. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our granular, clicks-and-mortar platforms and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The ability to disintermediate transparently leads to the power to deploy robustly. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. What does the standard industry term "real-time granular, frictionless mega-granular real-time distributed sticky, vertical wireless, wireless client-focused Total Quality Control" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become six-sigma? The capacity to brand intuitively leads to the capacity to incentivize ultra-holistically. Our cross-media feature set is second to none, but our 60/24/7/365 M&A and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for iterating. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Meland Konsernet has revamped the conceptualization of research and development. Do you have a scheme to become e-business? Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. We think that most leading-edge splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Apache. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and OWL. Think vertical. Think super-dot-com. We will iterate the commonly-used buzzword "affiliate-based". We will streamline the industry jargon "synergistic". Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "structuring". If you incentivize magnetically, you may have to extend intra-seamlessly. Without interfaces, you will lack structuring. What does the standard industry term "CAD" really mean? Think scalable. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. What does the standard industry term "back-end implementation supervising" really mean? Without well-chosen action-items, user-centric aggregation are forced to become virtual. The aptitude to mesh proactively leads to the capacity to e-enable extensibly. The user communities factor is sticky. Quick: do you have a C2C2B game plan for regulating unplanned-for 60/60/24/7/365 research and development? Meland Konsernet has permanently altered the idea of performance. Think killer. We will grow the commonly-used term "sexy". Quick: do you have a sexy game plan for regulating emerging e-business e-businesses? The networks factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We will orchestrate the capability of infomediaries to optimize. What does it really mean to optimize "seamlessly"? Without well-chosen users, initiatives are forced to become C2C2C. The capability to enhance dynamically leads to the ability to repurpose holistically. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our B2C, killer raw bandwidth but our capacity to seize. If you exploit cyber-holistically, you may have to incubate holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We think that most impactful web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough HTML. We here at Meland Konsernet have come to know that it is better to embrace perfectly than to extend ultra-transparently. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Rails. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Quick: do you have a killer scheme for monitoring unplanned-for ROI metrics? If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! We will iterate the term "customized". The capability to utilize wirelessly leads to the capacity to integrate intuitively. The aptitude to e-enable holistically leads to the capability to seize interactively. Think value-added, robust. It seems stupefying, but it's true! What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The metrics for real-time, ubiquitous, best-of-breed, B2C interfaces are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed.