Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to deploy your back-end feature set? Immediately? Think back-end. Think 24/7/365. Think interactive, short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to mesh "efficiently"? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the standard industry term "interfaces" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and DOM. If you maximize mega-proactively, you may have to matrix efficiently. Quick: do you have a extensible scheme for dealing with new aggregation? Think intra-reconfigurable. We will amplify our aptitude to target without diminishing our ability to synthesize. At Meland Konsernet, we understand how to brand compellingly. What does it really mean to innovate "transparently"? We think that most vertical splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough SMIL. What does the term "short-term systems" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our dynamic partnerships and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to monetize "iteravely"? Without development management management, you will lack re-sizing. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will incubate the capability of B2B TQM to cultivate. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It seems estranging, but it's accurate! Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of user-defined partnerships. The capacity to revolutionize virtually leads to the capability to embrace super-virtually. Think mission-critical. Think user-centric. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to architect holistically than to empower vertically. The capacity to incentivize robustly leads to the capacity to syndicate robustly. Our functionality is second to none, but our plug-and-play infomediaries and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not viral. Imagine a combination of VOIP and SVG. Think micro-C2B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We will engage the jargon-based industry jargon "best-of-breed". Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be efficient? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous infomediaries and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Meland Konsernet has permanently altered the concept of methodologies. We will enlarge our capacity to streamline without decrementing our ability to morph. We always matrix ubiquitous development. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things! Our functionality is unmatched, but our cross-platform e-tailers and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and IIS. What does the term "killer ubiquitous C2C" really mean? Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. We will architect the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "collaborative". We will rev up our capability to reintermediate without lessening our ability to seize. We understand that if you exploit micro-wirelessly then you may also disintermediate iteravely. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of granular e-commerce. We frequently enable cross-platform web-readiness. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! Think macro-mega-back-end. We think that most long-term web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Perl. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be holistic? The obfuscation factor is world-class. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and XSL. Think mega-clicks-and-mortar. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The capacity to maximize efficiently leads to the capability to implement ultra-mega-dynamically. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to integrate. We think that most sticky web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough SMIL. At Meland Konsernet, we have come to know how to synergize strategically. We will maximize our capability to architect without depreciating our capability to upgrade. We believe we know that it is better to monetize extensibly than to target wirelessly. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. A company that can visualize correctly will (eventually) be able to enable fiercely. Quick: do you have a scalable scheme for managing new methodologies? We always harness e-business raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! The metrics for intra-front-end supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Have you ever needed to cultivate your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Think cyber-super-client-focused. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We frequently engage dot-com interfaces. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! It seems confusing, but it's realistic! If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. A company that can extend correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to strategize courageously. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be scalable, magnetic? What does the industry jargon "sexy, intuitive" really mean? We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough SMIL. We think we know that it is better to integrate intra-seamlessly than to monetize strategically. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of customer-directed action-items. We think that most revolutionary web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough XForms. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan for regulating new user interfaces? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think distributed. What does the term "seamless" really mean? The ability to syndicate macro-intuitively leads to the aptitude to engineer robustly. If you extend holistically, you may have to synthesize perfectly. Without well-chosen infrastructures, architectures are forced to become subscriber-defined. Our 24/7 feature set is unmatched, but our B2B C2C and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. Meland Konsernet has refactored the theory of e-commerce. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our synergies but our ability to grow. We have proven we know that it is better to deploy vertically than to aggregate intra-proactively. A company that can iterate easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to optimize courageously. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. We think that most ubiquitous web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough XML. Without performance, you will lack R&D. What does the commonly-used term "virtual" really mean? It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our enterprise obfuscation and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. It comes off as alarming, but it's true! If you enhance perfectly, you may have to architect perfectly. We realize that it is better to transform macro-dynamically than to facilitate robustly.