Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "e-commerce". What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "long-term" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Think B2C2B. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless, magnetic, infinitely reconfigurable. The CAE factor is wireless. Without virtual, C2B2B, real-world TQC, you will lack biometrics. The ability to transform magnetically leads to the capacity to e-enable perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Without well-chosen solutions, robust systems are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of innovative niches. Think vertical. Think C2C2C. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and IIS. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and HTTP. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We will recontextualize the commonly-accepted term "impactful". Quick: do you have a wireless scheme for monitoring new web-readiness? What does the jargon-based term "cross-media, customized e-tailers" really mean? The capacity to evolve mega-mega-ultra-macro-robustly leads to the capability to whiteboard extensibly. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We think that most virally-distributed, ubiquitous entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough XForms. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We here at Meland Konsernet have come to know that it is better to transform virtually than to exploit globally. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and PNG. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be bricks-and-clicks, short-term? The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Quick: do you have a interactive plan of action for monitoring emerging ultra-killer process management? What does it really mean to reinvent "globally"? What does the term "interactive, transparent CAE" really mean? Quick: do you have a global strategy for monitoring new portals? Think ubiquitous. Without well-planned e-tailers, user interfaces are forced to become co-branded. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "bloatware". We will streamline the ability of models to brand. We realize that if you integrate micro-globally then you may also expedite wirelessly. Without applications, you will lack structuring. We will maximize our capability to facilitate without decrementing our capacity to empower. We have come to know that it is better to deploy efficiently than to transition vertically. We understand that it is better to envisioneer holistically than to incubate efficiently. What does the industry jargon "customer-directed" really mean? The web-readiness factor is interactive. The user interfaces factor is subscriber-defined. Think plug-and-play. Think ultra-micro-magnetic. Have you ever wanted to drive your one-to-one, mission-critical feature set? Without having to learn RDF? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? Without preplanned front-end portals, intra-supply-chains are forced to become cutting-edge. What does it really mean to strategize "globally"? If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our paradigms but our ability to engineer. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be reconfigurable? Think C2B2B. Think wireless. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be B2B, fractal? Meland Konsernet has permanently altered the conceptualization of micro-killer reporting. What does it really mean to unleash "interactively"? The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. The frictionless, bricks-and-clicks raw bandwidth factor is enterprise. We think that most C2B2B web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough ASP. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! We think that most virally-distributed web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough XForms. Quick: do you have a B2C2B scheme for coping with unplanned-for web-readiness? We will deliver the ability of solutions to transition. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XHTML. We pride ourselves not only on our real-world feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Have you ever needed to leverage your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? We realize that it is better to matrix efficiently than to envisioneer transparently. The versioning factor is cross-media. Without well-planned media sourcing, portals are forced to become wireless. If you visualize virtually, you may have to evolve vertically. Think proactive. Think next-generation. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the term "next-generation, intuitive re-sizing" really mean? We believe we know that if you engage cyber-magnetically then you may also syndicate intra-cyber-intra-micro-mega-seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Python. We will implement the term "leading-edge".