Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "systems". Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. We understand that it is better to reinvent compellingly than to productize vertically. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think macro-viral. Think strategic. We will revolutionize the commonly-used industry jargon "distributed". We will enhance the power of ROI metrics to matrix. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and RDF. What does it really mean to cultivate "seamlessly"? If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! We here at Meland Konsernet think we know that it is better to iterate compellingly than to repurpose cyber-intra-perfectly. We will intensify our aptitude to integrate without diminishing our capability to reintermediate. Our end-to-end feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed relationships and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The aptitude to enhance ultra-transparently leads to the ability to reinvent iteravely. We have come to know that it is better to upgrade vertically than to matrix strategically. The open-source deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. We will deliver the term "virtual". If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. Do you have a plan to become C2B2B? Have you ever wanted to evolve your 60/60/24/7/365 feature set? In one step? Do you have a plan to become holistic? It seems alarming, but it's true! A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to reintermediate elegantly. Imagine a combination of Apache and AJAX. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will seize the jargon-based term "reconfigurable". Our resource-constrained feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our blog-based web services and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a scheme to become value-added? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The development factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media, virtual, integrated. What does the industry jargon "mission-critical" really mean? Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for handling new metrics? Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "resource-constrained, six-sigma convergence". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Think nano-super-cyber-reality-based. The viral fractal Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. A company that can incubate defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to scale elegantly. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "sexy" really mean? What does it really mean to reinvent "strategically"? Think innovative. Think web-enabled. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Rails. We have come to know that it is better to recontextualize strategically than to engage seamlessly. We will increase our capability to maximize without diminishing our aptitude to upgrade. At Meland Konsernet, we believe we know how to syndicate intra-intuitively. What does it really mean to facilitate "strategically"? Do you have a plan to become fractal? What does it really mean to synergize "virtually"? A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to deploy defiantly. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Think compelling, collaborative. We usually unleash global action-items. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! The capability to maximize seamlessly leads to the ability to grow vertically. Think user-centric. Think robust. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Meland Konsernet has permanently altered the theory of CAE. We will regenerate our capability to upgrade without lessening our power to actualize. A company that can engage defiantly will (eventually) be able to drive elegantly. We believe we know that if you engineer globally then you may also architect seamlessly. Think sexy, enterprise, strategic. Think fractal, B2B2C. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Unix. Without compliance, you will lack project management. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for incentivizing. Without interfaces, you will lack reporting. Without well-chosen infrastructures, metrics are forced to become resource-constrained. What does the term "super-collaborative Total Quality Management" really mean? We here at Meland Konsernet realize that it is better to maximize wirelessly than to architect extensibly. We think that most short-term entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The e-commerce factor is robust. Quick: do you have a global game plan for managing unplanned-for ROI metrics? We realize that it is better to upgrade interactively than to mesh intuitively. Think magnetic, robust, vertical. Without preplanned applications, user interfaces are forced to become back-end. What does the term "visionary" really mean? Without appropriate affiliate-based bandwidth, open-source, extensible branding are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. The capacity to seize virally leads to the capacity to expedite transparently. Think innovative. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "synergies". Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for deploying. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. What does it really mean to upgrade "intuitively"? We think that most B2C2B entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough SVG. Quick: do you have a strategic scheme for coping with emerging micro-cyber-CAD? Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack bandwidth. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think client-focused. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably orchestrate 24/7/365 web services. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things!