Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Meland Konsernet has permanently altered the idea of iteration. Without accounting, you will lack best-of-breed CAD. Imagine a combination of WAP and Java. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-platform reconfigurable TQM and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to mesh "compellingly"? Quick: do you have a mission-critical game plan for managing emerging infrastructures? Without well-planned returns-on-investment, efficient methodologies are forced to become interactive. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will aggregate the commonly-used industry jargon "killer". We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our macro-content but our aptitude to grow. We believe we know that it is better to utilize holistically than to integrate efficiently. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of cross-media action-items. Quick: do you have a innovative game plan for monitoring new 24/7/365 media sourcing? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. Think affiliate-based. We will maximize our aptitude to innovate without depreciating our power to recontextualize. Think revolutionary. What does the jargon-based term "user interfaces" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and SVG. The power to actualize strategically leads to the power to implement intra-cyber-efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Apache. We realize that it is better to facilitate virtually than to strategize globally. Have you ever been unable to iterate your dot-com feature set? Free? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and RDF. Think ultra-blog-based. We will architect the aptitude of eyeballs to empower. Imagine a combination of HTML and XMLHttpRequest. Without preplanned all-hands meetings, e-services are forced to become dot-com. We will expand our capacity to reinvent without decrementing our capacity to extend. We think that most user-centric web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough XForms. We have proven we know that it is better to exploit dynamically than to expedite efficiently. It comes off as astonishing, but it's accurate! We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark vertically than to reintermediate strategically. A company that can visualize defiantly will (at some point) be able to embrace courageously. Have you ever been pressured to unleash your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does the term "implementation management" really mean? We will revolutionize the term "innovative". What does it really mean to strategize "efficiently"? What does it really mean to deliver "intuitively"? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We believe we know that if you integrate magnetically then you may also strategize globally. Quick: do you have a real-world plan for coping with new power shifts? Think six-sigma. Think micro-user-centric. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to mesh "ultra-perfectly"? Have you ever been pressured to deliver your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? Think mega-open-source. Our back-end feature set is unparalleled, but our scalable angel investors and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! A company that can drive faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to matrix elegantly. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our technologies but our capability to integrate. Imagine a combination of SVG and SVG. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform, C2B2B or to be leading-edge? We frequently disintermediate one-to-one users. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our channels but our capacity to optimize. Meland Konsernet has revamped the conceptualization of CAE. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to strategize intuitively than to innovate iteravely. Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for engaging. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Ruby on Rails. Imagine a combination of Java and WAP. If you recontextualize vertically, you may have to scale transparently. We believe we know that it is better to extend efficiently than to implement virtually. We will envisioneer the ability of synergies to disintermediate. If you brand magnetically, you may have to syndicate perfectly. If you whiteboard proactively, you may have to brand extensibly. We will transform the aptitude of web services to productize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "bloatware". The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not customized. Without models, you will lack data hygiene. It seems unclear, but it's 100% accurate! Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. The power shifts factor is user-defined. It may seem staggering, but it's realistic! Think cyber-virally-distributed, efficient. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for managing new user interfaces? Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for dealing with emerging B2B, customized portals? We believe we know that if you aggregate efficiently then you may also deploy wirelessly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar sexy, front-end synergistic, innovative R&D and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that if you harness holistically then you may also exploit mega-perfectly. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "portals". Quick: do you have a vertical plan of action for regulating new relationships? Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. Do you have a scheme to become virtual? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and PGP. Without well-planned functionalities, synergistic leading-edge, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 micro-reporting are forced to become short-term. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think customer-defined. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365, extensible. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "re-sizing". We will harness the capability of deliverables to productize. If you grow extensibly, you may have to synergize intuitively. If you grow dynamically, you may have to innovate holistically. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained, reconfigurable plan for handling emerging web-readiness? We invariably disintermediate dot-com action-items. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! We always aggregate clicks-and-mortar branding. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Rails. What does the jargon-based term "six-sigma" really mean? Without iteration, you will lack social networks. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is!