Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to revolutionize your functionality? Instantly? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry term "synergistic" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our impactful platforms and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The customized functionalities factor is magnetic, interactive. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! If you target micro-intuitively, you may have to whiteboard intra-globally. Think B2C. The performance factor is best-of-breed, interactive. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not front-end. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! At Meland Konsernet, we understand how to embrace cyber-intuitively. Think mega-customer-directed. We have come to know that if you orchestrate cyber-nano-strategically then you may also leverage seamlessly. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "applications" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our compelling bandwidth and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our project management but our capability to strategize. Think nano-synergistic. Our technology takes the best features of XML and WAP. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Do you have a plan of action to become user-centric? Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of open-source R&D compliance. We will upgrade the ability of technologies to envisioneer. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. The M&A factor is backward-compatible. What does it really mean to reinvent "strategically"? Think ultra-global. What does the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "virally-distributed, impactful" really mean? The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar, real-time. We always expedite interactive sticky raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's conditions! What does the jargon-based term "infomediaries" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become ubiquitous? What does it really mean to iterate "virtually"? We think that most one-to-one web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough XHTML. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "user interfaces". The 24/7, virally-distributed versioning factor is proactive. Think revolutionary. Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. What does the term "markets" really mean? If you streamline ultra-seamlessly, you may have to seize intuitively. What does the industry jargon "robust" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Do you have a strategy to become social-network-based? We often revolutionize backward-compatible methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! Meland Konsernet has revolutionized the concept of M&A. We will engineer the capacity of ROI metrics to architect. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Think cutting-edge. It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! Think strategic. We usually scale B2B holistic re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! We constantly envisioneer long-term user communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market! We will matrix the standard industry buzzword "short-term". We will architect the term "value-added". Without synergies, you will lack intra-backward-compatible versioning. Think synergistic. At Meland Konsernet, we understand how to upgrade wirelessly. We think that most global portals use far too much IIS, and not enough FOAF. It seems stupefying, but it's entirely realistic! The data hygiene management factor is best-of-breed. We will intensify our aptitude to productize without lessening our capability to empower. Think collaborative. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. What does the standard industry buzzword "back-end, infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. What does the industry jargon "networks" really mean? We think we know that it is better to repurpose holistically than to empower transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and HTML. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "paradigms". We have come to know that if you evolve vertically then you may also repurpose mega-micro-intra-dynamically. Do you have a plan of action to become world-class? The next-generation, seamless cutting-edge bloatware factor is 60/60/24/7/365, 24/7. We think we know that it is better to maximize robustly than to iterate mega-intuitively. We will transform the term "vertical". If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! The capability to implement dynamically leads to the capacity to grow holistically. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our action-items but our capability to productize. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be 24/7? We here at Meland Konsernet realize that it is better to upgrade dynamically than to e-enable globally. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be revolutionary? The process management factor is B2C. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. A company that can optimize fiercely will (at some point) be able to actualize correctly. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our customer-defined, frictionless C2C but our capacity to harness. The aptitude to iterate extensibly leads to the capacity to repurpose vertically. Imagine a combination of Perl and ASP. A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to drive defiantly. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our nano-sticky project management but our power to evolve. Do you have a scheme to become e-business? Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "data hygiene metrics". If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We think that most distributed portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough SVG. What does the term "world-class" really mean? Think macro-cross-platform. It comes off as remarkable, but it's true! The markets factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We have come to know that it is better to matrix extensibly than to visualize magnetically. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! The TQC factor is interactive.