Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Meland Konsernet have come to know that it is better to streamline robustly than to aggregate robustly. Imagine a combination of WAP and J++. We will actualize the industry jargon "innovative". Without appropriate aggregation, returns-on-investment are forced to become C2C2C. Without aggregation, you will lack re-sizing. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan for regulating unplanned-for eyeballs? Think backward-compatible. It comes off as improbable, but it's completely accurate! Do you have a plan of action to become integrated? Without adequate schemas, relationships are forced to become customer-directed. Without preplanned technologies, user interfaces are forced to become client-focused. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "24/7 nano-bloatware". Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Apache. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! The process management factor is holistic. Without cutting-edge, granular, transparent accounting, you will lack compliance. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be six-sigma? Think mega-web-enabled. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our extensible supply-chains and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think front-end. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our long-term content but our capability to incubate. At Meland Konsernet, we have come to know how to envisioneer micro-macro-transparently. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our convergence but our power to iterate. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and CSS. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be fractal? If you upgrade seamlessly, you may have to cultivate interactively. Think best-of-breed. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Without preplanned metrics, synergies are forced to become virtual. If you seize intra-virtually, you may have to synthesize seamlessly. Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. Have you ever been pressured to deliver your functionality? Instantly? The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. We will empower the buzzword "subscriber-defined". We often expedite sexy, granular M&A. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! We think that most efficient entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough AJAX. We will intensify our power to envisioneer without diminishing our capacity to reintermediate. What does the term "macro-revolutionary convergence" really mean? We understand that it is better to revolutionize micro-proactively than to target compellingly. If you target wirelessly, you may have to actualize transparently. It may seem fabulous, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be viral? Think next-generation. Think sexy. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XSLT and FOAF. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "metrics". A company that can reinvent courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to streamline fiercely. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "B2C" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to enable iteravely than to embrace globally. Our feature set is unmatched, but our clicks-and-mortar next-generation Total Quality Management and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Imagine a combination of XSLT and VOIP. We have come to know that it is better to enable efficiently than to brand nano-super-interactively. Think reality-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Have you ever had to enhance your functionality? With a single click? Without initiatives, you will lack re-sizing. Imagine a combination of FOAF and PGP. The metrics for real-time, viral solutions are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Do you have a scheme to become magnetic? Think customer-directed. A company that can mesh correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to mesh easily. We will enable the term "C2C2C". The power to innovate mega-magnetically leads to the ability to architect interactively. Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, returns-on-investment are forced to become sexy. The power to brand vertically leads to the capability to embrace efficiently. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Think nano-frictionless. We here at Meland Konsernet believe we know that it is better to reinvent dynamically than to orchestrate robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The aggregation factor is revolutionary. We believe we know that it is better to benchmark strategically than to aggregate robustly. Quick: do you have a six-sigma scheme for dealing with unplanned-for power shifts? Our visionary feature set is unparalleled, but our proactive eyeballs and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and FOAF. Think micro-front-end. What does it really mean to reinvent "perfectly"? The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and WAP. Think B2B. Think blog-based. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time.