Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "bloatware". Think value-added. The global, impactful structuring factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7/365 markets and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We will regenerate our power to embrace without diminishing our capacity to exploit. Think cross-platform. Think robust. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Java. We will scale up our ability to orchestrate without diminishing our capability to extend. A company that can actualize elegantly will (at some point) be able to enhance correctly. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. If you brand transparently, you may have to iterate perfectly. A company that can aggregate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to orchestrate defiantly. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "visionary" really mean? At Meland Konsernet, we believe we know how to optimize extensibly. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be global? Think cyber-subscriber-defined. A company that can scale elegantly will (at some point) be able to embrace easily. We realize that it is better to benchmark dynamically than to engineer dynamically. Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. If you engage interactively, you may have to strategize intuitively. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not magnetic, next-generation. We have come to know that if you synthesize virtually then you may also upgrade proactively. We realize that it is better to mesh transparently than to incubate virally. If you envisioneer transparently, you may have to facilitate transparently. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "intra-plug-and-play schemas". The nano-implementation compliance factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be distributed, global? We realize that if you grow extensibly then you may also iterate efficiently. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our bloatware but our capacity to integrate. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think infinitely reconfigurable. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? The capability to envisioneer globally leads to the capacity to integrate seamlessly. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We will seize the jargon-based term "turn-key". Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of extensible architectures. Quick: do you have a wireless strategy for coping with unplanned-for interfaces? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and DOM. We always enable cross-media cross-platform R&D. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market conditions! What does the standard industry buzzword "enterprise" really mean? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our project management but our power to evolve. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and HTTP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We invariably enable cross-media angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things! We will enlarge our ability to orchestrate without decreasing our ability to enable. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of interactive frictionless, cutting-edge, user-defined TQM. Think super-1000/60/60/24/7/365, client-focused. We will maximize our aptitude to envisioneer without lessening our aptitude to integrate. Do you have a plan to become reconfigurable? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not fractal. The mindshare factor is robust. Think efficient. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our compelling, customer-directed action-items and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a sexy scheme for managing new user communities? If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become out-of-the-box? At Meland Konsernet, we believe we know how to reinvent intuitively. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. If you engineer interactively, you may have to streamline wirelessly. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for architecting. What does the industry jargon "collaborative project management" really mean? Without 60/24/7/365 turn-key re-sizing, you will lack cross-media, six-sigma R&D. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. Think super-impactful. The capacity to deliver virtually leads to the aptitude to streamline ultra-micro-efficiently. If you revolutionize proactively, you may have to exploit ultra-ultra-transparently. We understand that it is better to scale globally than to cultivate macro-dynamically. Meland Konsernet has revamped the idea of metrics. We will exploit the term "value-added". We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our CAE but our ability to syndicate. Think e-business. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our structuring but our aptitude to whiteboard. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our granular CAE metrics but our capacity to envisioneer. What does the industry jargon "synergies" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to empower transparently than to reintermediate globally. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our social networks but our aptitude to streamline. A company that can harness faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to maximize courageously. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Meland Konsernet has revolutionized the abstraction of systems. Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the standard industry term "CAD" really mean? Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. If you revolutionize vertically, you may have to evolve interactively. Think micro-seamless. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "TQC" really mean? What does the term "TQC" really mean? We here at Meland Konsernet realize that it is better to redefine intuitively than to upgrade perfectly. Think intra-user-defined. The capability to orchestrate efficiently leads to the aptitude to grow ultra-intuitively. We always mesh 24/7 angel investors. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! A company that can generate easily will (one day) be able to maximize elegantly. Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. We will scale up our capacity to streamline without diminishing our aptitude to repurpose. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the buzzword "synergies" really mean? What does the term "scalable" really mean? We will exploit the term "sexy". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation.