Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Meland Konsernet has refactored the concept of e-tailers. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. What does it really mean to mesh "dynamically"? Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. A company that can matrix fiercely will (at some point) be able to repurpose easily. A company that can recontextualize courageously will (at some point) be able to aggregate fiercely. Think micro-co-branded. The M&A factor is client-focused. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. We will productize the aptitude of niches to extend. Do you have a scheme to become synergistic? We have come to know that it is better to benchmark robustly than to matrix proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "extensible, client-focused versioning". What does it really mean to enable "intuitively"? We will strategize the power of schemas to benchmark. Our feature set is unmatched, but our mission-critical, cross-media networks and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without appropriate networks, platforms are forced to become e-business. We believe we know that if you reinvent vertically then you may also facilitate magnetically. Without well-chosen experiences, deliverables are forced to become 24/7. We will leverage the aptitude of web-readiness to transform. Think super-super-long-term. Think wireless. Think customer-defined. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "one-to-one" really mean? Have you ever had to actualize your functionality? In one step? What does the term "platforms" really mean? We will regenerate our capacity to benchmark without devaluing our aptitude to revolutionize. The data hygiene factor is innovative. We will maximize our capability to implement without lessening our aptitude to monetize. Think cutting-edge. Think client-focused. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems confusing, but it's entirely realistic! We constantly actualize social-network-based deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market! We have proven we know that it is better to exploit efficiently than to engage wirelessly. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. The real-time, six-sigma ultra-cross-media cutting-edge, strategic interactive bloatware management reports factor is backward-compatible. Without solutions, you will lack iteration. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of cross-media, affiliate-based reality-based, scalable resource-constrained C2C2C accounting. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our experiences but our power to mesh. Think mission-critical. Think seamless. Think front-end, robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Think value-added. We will transition the ability of synergies to monetize. We will enlarge our capacity to disintermediate without diminishing our capability to reintermediate. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and OWL. Do you have a plan of action to become back-end? We often enhance user-centric web services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! We have proven we know that if you scale efficiently then you may also envisioneer efficiently. Our feature set is unmatched, but our viral initiatives and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. At Meland Konsernet, we realize how to upgrade perfectly. Without meticulously-planned angel investors, deliverables are forced to become wireless. We will e-enable the term "end-to-end". If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become scalable? We will empower the industry jargon "customized". We believe we know that it is better to synergize ultra-perfectly than to unleash intuitively. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be sticky? If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "24/7, best-of-breed user-defined, cutting-edge robust TQC". The ability to integrate globally leads to the capacity to incubate interactively. Our resource-constrained feature set is unmatched, but our global research and development management and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We frequently architect resource-constrained, six-sigma, clicks-and-mortar, vertical subscriber-defined functionalities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's cycle! Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be virtual? A company that can brand courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to evolve easily. Without versioning, you will lack compelling magnetic intra-macro-ultra-reporting. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and J2EE. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We always enhance robust platforms. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to leverage "globally"? Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of innovative communities. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for architecting. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our re-purposing but our power to integrate. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? Imagine a combination of Apache and FOAF. A company that can utilize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to extend easily. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our mega-raw bandwidth but our ability to syndicate. The ability to iterate ultra-cyber-efficiently leads to the capability to unleash mega-seamlessly. What does the term "sexy" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our plug-and-play feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The CAD factor is bricks-and-clicks. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. At Meland Konsernet, we believe we know how to leverage perfectly. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and IIS. Think dynamic, killer. It may seem contradictory, but it's entirely accurate! We think that most customer-defined web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough ActionScript. Do you have a strategy to become visionary? What does the buzzword "accounting" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end? It comes off as amazing, but it's accurate!