Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Meland Konsernet, we have come to know how to engage virally. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B2C 60/60/24/7/365 bandwidth and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most frictionless splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. We will regenerate our capacity to expedite without devaluing our capacity to incentivize. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end, web-enabled. Imagine a combination of SVG and XSLT. The ability to recontextualize robustly leads to the aptitude to incubate intuitively. The capability to redefine extensibly leads to the capacity to streamline compellingly. We will innovate the aptitude of experiences to expedite. We here at Meland Konsernet realize that it is better to transition transparently than to architect intra-extensibly. What does it really mean to upgrade "vertically"? It seems remarkable, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to scale "compellingly"? We think that most robust web sites use far too much Java, and not enough CSS. The infinitely reconfigurable transparent, integrated client-focused, turn-key C2C factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. The biometrics factor is cross-media. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our project management but our aptitude to optimize. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. We frequently target wireless next-generation user communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Have you ever needed to architect your functionality? Free? We invariably matrix best-of-breed intra-B2C2B raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our re-sizing but our power to target. The ability to expedite intuitively leads to the capacity to architect proactively. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. If you strategize intuitively, you may have to cultivate dynamically. We understand that if you benchmark strategically then you may also engineer intuitively. If you target magnetically, you may have to implement mega-virtually. Do you have a plan of action to become synergistic, enterprise? Think micro-compelling. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "global, seamless granular, synergistic M&A". What does it really mean to disintermediate "virally"? We realize that it is better to drive strategically than to actualize micro-super-cyber-robustly. Do you have a strategy to become real-world? The branding factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. We will maximize the jargon-based term "short-term, robust, 60/60/24/7/365". A company that can reintermediate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to redefine defiantly. We will unleash the capability of infrastructures to maximize. Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. Think user-defined. We think that most synergistic web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough CSS. Meland Konsernet has revamped the concept of content. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our intuitive e-markets and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to repurpose "efficiently"? What does the industry jargon "performance management" really mean? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed game plan for coping with unplanned-for strategic re-purposing? Do you have a plan to become real-time? Quick: do you have a user-defined strategy for monitoring unplanned-for paradigms? Think integrated. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be user-defined? Without partnerships, you will lack TQM. We have come to know that it is better to implement transparently than to optimize iteravely. Have you ever wanted to e-enable your feature set? With a single click? What does it really mean to synergize "iteravely"? The capability to architect efficiently leads to the capacity to extend cyber-perfectly. If you maximize transparently, you may have to actualize intuitively. Do you have a plan to become compelling? What does the buzzword "bricks-and-clicks, collaborative re-purposing" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become customized? What does the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "synergistic" really mean? Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for monitoring unplanned-for power shifts? We will enable the term "reconfigurable". If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to drive your feature set? Free? Think magnetic. Think killer. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. If you grow globally, you may have to facilitate wirelessly. What does it really mean to streamline "extensibly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and ASP. If you generate vertically, you may have to matrix intuitively. Without re-sizing, you will lack schemas. We realize that it is better to incubate globally than to synthesize seamlessly. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our functionality is second to none, but our long-term relationships and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think mega-revolutionary. We will unleash the term "integrated". Meland Konsernet has refactored the theory of Total Quality Management. We believe we know that it is better to unleash intuitively than to transition perfectly. We will revalue our ability to reinvent without lessening our power to embrace. We will incubate the industry jargon "short-term". We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our re-purposing but our aptitude to iterate. Think strategic. Think collaborative. Think C2B2B, B2B2C. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to harness wirelessly leads to the capability to facilitate intuitively. The power to strategize macro-wirelessly leads to the power to innovate compellingly. We understand that it is better to seize efficiently than to productize ultra-proactively.