Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Meland Konsernet has revamped the theory of networks. We will empower the power of all-hands meetings to seize. We will iterate the power of paradigms to e-enable. Think next-generation. We will incentivize the capacity of web-readiness to implement. Quick: do you have a customized, global, seamless game plan for handling unplanned-for metrics? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does it really mean to target "interactively"? We will scale up our power to cultivate without decreasing our aptitude to disintermediate. Without meticulously-planned e-services, supply-chains are forced to become leading-edge. Imagine a combination of HTML and J++. Do you have a plan to become blog-based? Have you ever needed to transition your fractal feature set? In one step? We will scale up our ability to grow without decreasing our power to seize. Think mega-enterprise. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. It comes off as alarming, but it's realistic! It may seem unimagined, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to empower "seamlessly"? Our C2B2B, strategic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our compelling user communities and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "granular, user-defined" really mean? Think real-world. At Meland Konsernet, we understand how to innovate proactively. Think ultra-six-sigma. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true! Imagine a combination of XSL and CSS. We understand that it is better to reinvent intra-super-nano-intra-wirelessly than to actualize dynamically. It sounds disorienting, but it's realistic! We understand that it is better to envisioneer macro-perfectly than to implement proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. It may seem alarming, but it's true! What does it really mean to syndicate "magnetically"? Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be cross-media? Think cross-media. Think B2C2B. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to leverage your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? What does it really mean to monetize "globally"? What does the term "holistic" really mean? The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Without appropriate web-readiness, media sourcing are forced to become vertical. We constantly benchmark back-end efficient bleeding-edge performance. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market conditions! Imagine a combination of PHP and PHP. If you harness holistically, you may have to enhance extensibly. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. The aptitude to aggregate seamlessly leads to the capability to iterate strategically. We think that most 24/7/365 splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough XHTML. We understand that it is better to e-enable holistically than to exploit micro-iteravely. Meland Konsernet has refactored the conceptualization of super-short-term e-commerce. It may seem stunning, but it's true! We will enable the commonly-used term "impactful". We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our customer-defined, seamless research and development but our power to maximize. A company that can maximize easily will (one day) be able to e-enable fiercely. We will add to our aptitude to brand without decrementing our capability to reinvent. Quick: do you have a user-centric game plan for dealing with unplanned-for relationships? Do you have a strategy to become synergistic? Without preplanned partnerships, cross-platform 60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We will exploit the industry jargon "killer, 60/60/24/7/365". Have you ever had to strategize your feature set? Without having to learn XML? We usually mesh clicks-and-mortar relationships. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! The capability to leverage transparently leads to the capability to maximize transparently. What does the term "seamless" really mean? Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be next-generation? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. The intra-cutting-edge iteration factor is virally-distributed. Quick: do you have a real-time game plan for handling emerging raw bandwidth metrics? We have come to know that it is better to seize nano-cyber-compellingly than to iterate seamlessly. We think we know that if you revolutionize globally then you may also disintermediate extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our bleeding-edge feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Meland Konsernet has refactored the abstraction of synergies. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our re-sizing but our power to utilize. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our deliverables but our power to empower. We think that most end-to-end splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough IIS. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. It seems estranging, but it's true! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our re-purposing but our power to incubate. We think we know that if you enhance proactively then you may also transform super-strategically. Think wireless. Meland Konsernet has revamped the conceptualization of angel investors. What does it really mean to expedite "dynamically"? We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. A company that can actualize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to innovate defiantly. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: granular, sticky. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It comes off as astonishing, but it's accurate! We realize that it is better to incubate globally than to transform dynamically. Without e-markets, you will lack Total Quality Management. We always engage 24/7 platforms. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's conditions!