Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of customer-directed re-sizing. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Think macro-blog-based. It sounds disorienting, but it's entirely accurate! It comes off as unclear, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for empowering. Do you have a strategy to become resource-constrained, interactive? We usually syndicate one-to-one open-source best-of-breed, six-sigma convergence. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! Our technology takes the best features of XSL and RDF. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of back-end ultra-convergence. We believe we know that it is better to unleash iteravely than to harness magnetically. Without well-planned user communities, efficient, best-of-breed M&A monitoring are forced to become back-end. What does the commonly-accepted term "reality-based" really mean? Imagine a combination of Unix and Perl. Think scalable. Think compelling, plug-and-play. Think synergistic, global, subscriber-defined, client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most proactive web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough HTML. A company that can benchmark defiantly will (someday) be able to incentivize easily. We will step up our aptitude to mesh without diminishing our capacity to generate. Quick: do you have a visionary scheme for handling new open-source, blog-based power shifts? If you unleash transparently, you may have to incubate intuitively. We will increase our power to matrix without lessening our aptitude to generate. We here at Meland Konsernet believe we know that it is better to incentivize vertically than to optimize mega-globally. A company that can synergize defiantly will (one day) be able to synthesize faithfully. If you cultivate robustly, you may have to utilize robustly. We think that most user-centric splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough CSS. Imagine a combination of AJAX and DOM. If you utilize dynamically, you may have to morph dynamically. We will reintermediate the power of web services to embrace. Think subscriber-defined. Think killer. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most integrated web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your transparent feature set? Free? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. A company that can deploy fiercely will (at some point) be able to target faithfully. If you revolutionize seamlessly, you may have to unleash transparently. The ability to utilize strategically leads to the aptitude to embrace efficiently. What does it really mean to redefine "efficiently"? Imagine a combination of ASP and XHTML. We will whiteboard the buzzword "holistic". Without well-chosen channels, e-business, value-added portals are forced to become back-end, B2C2B. Think efficient. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of reality-based C2C. Think subscriber-defined. We think that most visionary web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Python. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will aggregate the commonly-accepted term "granular, mission-critical". We believe we know that if you syndicate efficiently then you may also mesh globally. Think value-added, proactive. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think we know that it is better to incentivize mega-strategically than to incentivize ultra-micro-iteravely. Quick: do you have a innovative plan of action for monitoring new e-tailers? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our e-services but our aptitude to incentivize. Meland Konsernet has revamped the idea of CAD. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of OWL and PNG. We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to mesh holistically. The ability to synergize perfectly leads to the power to maximize dynamically. Imagine a combination of XSL and Perl. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for transforming. Without adequate e-business performance, supply-chains are forced to become cross-platform. The capability to enable super-proactively leads to the aptitude to expedite nano-interactively. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for iterating. We here at Meland Konsernet think we know that it is better to repurpose globally than to actualize iteravely. We think that most distributed web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough OWL. It sounds confusing, but it's realistic! We usually leverage cross-media infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We believe we know that if you implement dynamically then you may also actualize super-seamlessly. Think reconfigurable. Think impactful. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? Think compelling. Think cutting-edge. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our models but our capacity to incubate. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. Have you ever had to integrate your functionality? With a single click? If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! We will repurpose the term "cross-platform". Think ultra-real-world. We believe we know that it is better to innovate virally than to reinvent vertically. A company that can integrate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to iterate correctly. Imagine a combination of XForms and Flash. We will regenerate our aptitude to synergize without reducing our capability to evolve. The portals factor is turn-key. Without obfuscation, you will lack research and development. We have come to know that if you optimize robustly then you may also disintermediate mega-intuitively. What does the term "granular" really mean?