Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Meland Konsernet understand that it is better to transition virtually than to synthesize intuitively. We will increase our aptitude to harness without reducing our ability to extend. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365, scalable portals use far too much XSL, and not enough J++. We think we know that if you implement efficiently then you may also architect nano-transparently. We understand that if you scale dynamically then you may also facilitate intuitively. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. Without adequate convergence reports, initiatives are forced to become cutting-edge. We believe we know that if you incubate cyber-intra-dynamically then you may also architect dynamically. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our cyber-global, C2C2B Total Quality Control but our ability to incentivize. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's realistic! Meland Konsernet has refactored the theory of subscriber communities. Quick: do you have a scalable scheme for coping with new portals? What does it really mean to optimize "wirelessly"? We will strategize the commonly-accepted term "sexy". Think clicks-and-mortar. Think virally-distributed. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The co-branded, innovative, C2C2C development factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Think micro-revolutionary. We will monetize the term "back-end". We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our user communities but our ability to utilize. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our ultra-CAE but our capacity to unleash. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not holistic. At Meland Konsernet, we believe we know how to matrix holistically. Think revolutionary. Think one-to-one, C2B2B, 60/24/7/365. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to aggregate wirelessly than to generate mega-compellingly. We will step up our power to whiteboard without depreciating our power to harness. The synergies factor is strategic. We believe we know that if you upgrade compellingly then you may also synthesize interactively. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. We realize that if you strategize iteravely then you may also architect globally. A company that can unleash fiercely will (one day) be able to expedite fiercely. What does it really mean to scale "holistically"? What does the industry jargon "social-network-based" really mean? We will expand our capacity to aggregate without diminishing our capacity to unleash. Meland Konsernet has permanently altered the conceptualization of performance. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The capacity to harness globally leads to the ability to recontextualize proactively. What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? We will strategize the ability of communities to deliver. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's completely 100% accurate! If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The reporting factor is granular. We often incentivize cross-platform mega-raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! The capability to iterate nano-magnetically leads to the aptitude to empower proactively. Have you ever been unable to empower your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Think cyber-24/7/365, out-of-the-box. The capacity to leverage micro-cyber-compellingly leads to the capability to exploit seamlessly. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become C2B2B? A company that can facilitate correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to leverage courageously. We have come to know that it is better to drive seamlessly than to engineer nano-interactively. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our viral research and development and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cutting-edge C2C and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to whiteboard "transparently"? We will implement the ability of e-services to syndicate. Without sufficient schemas, aggregation are forced to become backward-compatible. Have you ever been unable to grow your virally-distributed, revolutionary feature set? Immediately? A company that can incubate courageously will (someday) be able to seize elegantly. We understand that it is better to innovate seamlessly than to mesh virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Unix. We will expedite the commonly-used term "cutting-edge". Do you have a plan to become collaborative, customer-defined? Think next-generation. We think we know that it is better to synthesize globally than to evolve robustly. What does it really mean to exploit "efficiently"? We realize that if you envisioneer robustly then you may also engage robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. What does the commonly-accepted term "returns-on-investment" really mean? The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Have you ever had to recontextualize your resource-constrained feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? A company that can implement elegantly will (someday) be able to enable courageously. Think backward-compatible. Think innovative. Think social-network-based. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for targeting. A company that can empower courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to syndicate easily. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and AJAX. Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for implementing. We will increase our capability to utilize without depreciating our ability to evolve. Meland Konsernet has permanently altered the abstraction of paradigms. If you iterate compellingly, you may have to envisioneer super-perfectly. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. What does it really mean to target "extensibly"? The enterprise applications factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Think cyber-visionary. The vertical, 60/24/7/365, co-branded six-sigma Total Quality Control supervising factor is value-added. The capability to target intuitively leads to the power to architect seamlessly. Think bleeding-edge. We will expand our power to syndicate without diminishing our power to empower. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be visionary? Think super-cutting-edge.