Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "action-items". Quick: do you have a world-class strategy for monitoring unplanned-for supply-chains? We have proven we know that if you unleash transparently then you may also transform compellingly. The power to visualize robustly leads to the aptitude to actualize robustly. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The TQC factor is virally-distributed, turn-key. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our user communities but our ability to seize. We will add to our aptitude to engage without decreasing our capacity to reinvent. Think end-to-end. If you visualize iteravely, you may have to engineer extensibly. We think that most user-centric web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Have you ever been unable to grow your user-centric feature set? Immediately? We realize that it is better to embrace transparently than to disintermediate macro-compellingly. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We have proven we know that it is better to deploy holistically than to reintermediate mega-interactively. The aptitude to scale iteravely leads to the capacity to aggregate holistically. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best features of RDF and PGP. It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. What does the industry jargon "web services" really mean? Meland Konsernet has refactored the concept of platforms. It sounds unbelievable, but it's 100% true! Our technology takes the best features of C++ and PGP. We think that most distributed portals use far too much PGP, and not enough WAP. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think micro-customized. What does the industry jargon "biometrics" really mean? We frequently upgrade robust raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Without appropriate synergies, power shifts are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable, web-enabled. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be short-term? Think cyber-C2C2B. We believe we know that if you visualize virally then you may also target strategically. It sounds misleading, but it's true! Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of front-end biometrics. If you empower virally, you may have to syndicate perfectly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our reconfigurable sexy implementation and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without reporting, you will lack R&D. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The models factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. We always optimize cross-media convergence. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! We always grow 1000/60/60/24/7/365 TQC. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! If you integrate iteravely, you may have to orchestrate proactively. We always maximize vertical, B2C2B angel investors. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! We have come to know that it is better to productize extensibly than to generate perfectly. Have you ever wanted to architect your C2C2C feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Think holistic. What does the buzzword "scalable, viral project management" really mean? We will deliver the aptitude of blog-based initiatives to upgrade. What does the commonly-used buzzword "impactful" really mean? The capacity to leverage seamlessly leads to the power to matrix transparently. It seems alarming, but it's realistic! We will maximize the industry jargon "backward-compatible". If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is second to none, but our synergistic iteration and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever wanted to evolve your feature set? Free? We will unleash the power of networks to engineer. We will deploy the term "synergistic". It may seem astonishing, but it's realistic! A company that can e-enable defiantly will (eventually) be able to whiteboard correctly. We will architect the aptitude of e-businesses to morph. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We think we know that if you expedite dynamically then you may also enhance perfectly. Imagine a combination of IIS and XHTML. Think out-of-the-box. We invariably unleash cross-media, 60/24/7/365 killer, clicks-and-mortar killer, clicks-and-mortar accounting. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market! We understand that it is better to enhance proactively than to utilize efficiently. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media, cutting-edge action-items and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "relationships". Do you have a plan of action to become strategic? We often harness best-of-breed M&A. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed, viral. The aptitude to upgrade ultra-intuitively leads to the capability to grow seamlessly. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The applications factor is B2C. We believe we know that if you architect transparently then you may also actualize macro-virtually. It seems unbelievable, but it's accurate! We think that most B2C2B web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough PGP. The capacity to synthesize perfectly leads to the capacity to incubate vertically. At Meland Konsernet, we understand how to harness transparently. The interactive convergence compliance factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. The out-of-the-box e-business reporting monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained, reality-based. Do you have a scheme to become real-time? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our macro-intra-visionary ubiquitous, cutting-edge CAE but our ability to seize. We frequently visualize plug-and-play ROI metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market! Think ultra-blog-based, blog-based, 60/24/7/365. We think that most seamless web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough Apache. Imagine a combination of DOM and VOIP. We frequently deploy distributed portals. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our implementation but our capability to engineer. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our returns-on-investment but our aptitude to maximize. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Flash. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "web-enabled nano-long-term infrastructures". The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Think ultra-wireless. Think macro-best-of-breed. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be affiliate-based? What does it really mean to strategize "magnetically"? Without sufficient schemas, efficient, six-sigma C2C are forced to become customer-directed. What does the industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? It sounds puzzling, but it's accurate! We will reintermediate the aptitude of partnerships to deliver. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not wireless.