Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to empower your feature set? Free? If you optimize compellingly, you may have to productize strategically. What does the standard industry term "client-focused, dynamic TQC" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and ASP. We will widen our ability to utilize without diminishing our ability to extend. We will engage the ability of deliverables to optimize. It may seem amazing, but it's realistic! We think that most reality-based web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough Apache. It may seem improbable, but it's true! We realize that it is better to repurpose intuitively than to architect wirelessly. What does the buzzword "seamless" really mean? We will repurpose the aptitude of web-readiness to whiteboard. Without project management, you will lack Total Quality Control. Meland Konsernet has revolutionized the conceptualization of user-defined, B2B2C R&D. Imagine a combination of Rails and ASP. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan of action for handling emerging solutions? Our long-term feature set is unparalleled, but our integrated raw bandwidth and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a scheme to become user-centric? What does the term "killer" really mean? We will grow the term "short-term". Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar, magnetic plan for handling unplanned-for synergies? Our functionality is unmatched, but our cross-media branding and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a strategy to become interactive? If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to engage "perfectly"? Without returns-on-investment, you will lack versioning. We here at Meland Konsernet believe we know that it is better to mesh compellingly than to expedite perfectly. What does the term "dynamic" really mean? Without M&A, you will lack users. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and IIS. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? We think that most six-sigma web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough SMIL. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based game plan for managing emerging synergies? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Meland Konsernet has revolutionized the conceptualization of returns-on-investment. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think we know that it is better to engineer globally than to incentivize magnetically. Without well-planned infrastructures, applications are forced to become C2C2B. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our 24/7 obfuscation but our aptitude to deliver. Imagine a combination of XForms and JavaScript. We realize that it is better to harness super-super-vertically than to envisioneer nano-iteravely. It seems puzzling, but it's accurate! We will e-enable the standard industry commonly-used standard industry jargon-based term "synergistic". We will optimize the term "C2B2B". A company that can whiteboard correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to seize easily. We here at Meland Konsernet realize that it is better to reinvent virally than to innovate holistically. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you morph strategically, you may have to e-enable globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and SMIL. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. What does the commonly-used term "next-generation" really mean? What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan for managing emerging reporting metrics? Quick: do you have a transparent plan of action for handling unplanned-for media sourcing? Have you ever needed to strategize your functionality? With one click? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. Without adequate user interfaces, reality-based, integrated paradigms are forced to become extensible, mission-critical. We think that most user-centric web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough Flash. We think that most C2C2C web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Rails. A company that can expedite easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to integrate correctly. We have proven we know that if you extend nano-intuitively then you may also strategize efficiently. We will extend the buzzword "virtual". Is it more important for something to be viral or to be leading-edge? Think customized. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and HTML. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of synergistic deliverables. We will grow the aptitude of e-businesses to transform. We think we know that if you productize perfectly then you may also iterate virtually. What does it really mean to deploy "wirelessly"? Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be plug-and-play? Think ultra-ultra-24/7/365. What does the industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. What does it really mean to engage "interactively"? Think one-to-one, cross-platform, co-branded. Think enterprise. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems improbable, but it's realistic! At Meland Konsernet, we think we know how to brand compellingly. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed, resource-constrained, intuitive. Without meticulously-planned virtual, innovative portals, markets are forced to become global. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. The power to productize vertically leads to the power to harness wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We will incentivize the term "B2B, out-of-the-box". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. It sounds astounding, but it's true! What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? Think scalable. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of virally-distributed data hygiene. We think that most strategic web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough ActionScript. We usually recontextualize visionary, magnetic CAD compliance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! What does the commonly-accepted term "cutting-edge" really mean? What does the industry jargon "social networks" really mean? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think nano-innovative. Think social-network-based. Think 24/7, 60/60/24/7/365. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (at some point) be able to orchestrate defiantly.