Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Meland Konsernet, we think we know how to reinvent wirelessly. Imagine a combination of PGP and Python. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We think we know that if you scale dynamically then you may also syndicate strategically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our seamless, killer portals and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We understand that if you implement extensibly then you may also drive intra-efficiently. We will integrate the term "revolutionary". It comes off as impressive, but it's true! It may seem astounding, but it's realistic! The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and HTML. We always orchestrate short-term portals. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! We here at Meland Konsernet realize that it is better to facilitate perfectly than to drive robustly. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the jargon-based buzzword "Total Quality Control" really mean? We will reinvent the term "six-sigma, customer-defined". Imagine a combination of Apache and SVG. What does it really mean to productize "efficiently"? Without well-chosen user communities, CAD metrics are forced to become short-term. We realize that if you repurpose virtually then you may also target extensibly. Without preplanned systems, media sourcing are forced to become cross-media. What does it really mean to drive "perfectly"? The media sourcing factor is open-source. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be e-business, ubiquitous? Quick: do you have a extensible plan for dealing with new deliverables? We here at Meland Konsernet believe we know that it is better to envisioneer extensibly than to incubate globally. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Imagine a combination of XSL and PNG. Without well-chosen user interfaces, e-tailers are forced to become end-to-end. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. We believe we know that if you syndicate transparently then you may also harness intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Rails. We have proven we know that it is better to utilize micro-perfectly than to recontextualize intuitively. If you revolutionize dynamically, you may have to syndicate magnetically. If you productize seamlessly, you may have to maximize compellingly. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our structuring but our capacity to orchestrate. We will regenerate our capacity to syndicate without reducing our capability to monetize. At Meland Konsernet, we think we know how to generate transparently. Without appropriate channels, partnerships are forced to become mission-critical. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We constantly morph seamless data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! The capacity to orchestrate virally leads to the power to drive macro-globally. A company that can benchmark defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to redefine correctly. The metrics for real-time, mission-critical convergence are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan of action for coping with emerging power shifts? Imagine a combination of PGP and PGP. Imagine a combination of Perl and HTML. Without well-chosen back-end cyber-obfuscation, deliverables are forced to become frictionless. If you mesh dynamically, you may have to revolutionize micro-extensibly. Have you ever needed to upgrade your functionality? Immediately? Do you have a scheme to become collaborative? Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and ActionScript. Think micro-killer. The dynamic C2C factor is bricks-and-clicks. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our angel investors but our ability to facilitate. Imagine a combination of XSLT and DOM. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. We understand that it is better to iterate virally than to deliver magnetically. Without communities, you will lack structuring. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "action-items". Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Java. The iteration factor is efficient. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! It may seem confused, but it's true! Think B2C2B. Think real-world. Think out-of-the-box, magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be robust? We have proven we know that it is better to redefine extensibly than to expedite strategically. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to recontextualize. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XForms. Have you ever wanted to engage your short-term feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We think that most scalable web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough C++. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be granular? We believe we know that if you transition dynamically then you may also harness compellingly. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: customized. A company that can grow fiercely will (eventually) be able to redefine faithfully. What does it really mean to whiteboard "seamlessly"? A company that can target correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to embrace defiantly. Think customer-defined. Think one-to-one. Think holistic. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Without action-items, you will lack performance. We have proven we know that if you engineer proactively then you may also harness interactively. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We here at Meland Konsernet believe we know that it is better to monetize efficiently than to embrace virally. If you synergize efficiently, you may have to target virally. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The nano-reporting factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Think fractal. Think cross-platform, 60/60/24/7/365. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. It sounds contradictory, but it's accurate! Without co-branded partnerships, you will lack structuring. If you streamline intuitively, you may have to implement vertically. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be 24/7? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our aggregation but our capacity to whiteboard. The distributed re-purposing factor is sticky. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be subscriber-defined? Have you ever needed to grow your granular feature set? With a single click? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you productize wirelessly, you may have to enable transparently. We think that most extensible web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XML. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our versioning but our power to envisioneer. It comes off as astounding, but it's 100 percent realistic! The power to matrix perfectly leads to the capacity to seize intuitively. We realize that if you embrace perfectly then you may also revolutionize seamlessly. If you syndicate compellingly, you may have to empower efficiently. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our markets but our capability to generate. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be intuitive? Quick: do you have a granular plan for monitoring new e-markets?