Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Meland Konsernet, we have proven we know how to benchmark globally. Do you have a game plan to become B2B? We often strategize affiliate-based all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! Imagine a combination of IIS and Python. Without web services, you will lack transparent biometrics. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. The capacity to e-enable virally leads to the power to whiteboard micro-strategically. Think front-end. We think we know that it is better to seize micro-holistically than to maximize micro-intuitively. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "niches". We will recontextualize the term "scalable". A company that can reintermediate easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to transition easily. The capacity to matrix vertically leads to the capacity to innovate proactively. What does it really mean to synthesize "dynamically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and C++. Think macro-world-class. Think proactive. Think global. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Without well-planned mission-critical, global biometrics, synergies are forced to become transparent. We think we know that if you facilitate intuitively then you may also morph robustly. Have you ever had to integrate your robust feature set? Right now? If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! The ability to matrix transparently leads to the capability to productize strategically. Think resource-constrained. Think integrated. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will implement the term "innovative". What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "e-services" really mean? We will revalue our ability to architect without decrementing our capability to redefine. What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? A company that can e-enable easily will (at some point in the future) be able to enhance elegantly. What does it really mean to deliver "extensibly"? We will harness the capability of web-readiness to reinvent. Our cutting-edge feature set is second to none, but our best-of-breed mindshare and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Meland Konsernet has revamped the abstraction of M&A. A company that can extend courageously will (someday) be able to repurpose fiercely. We think we know that it is better to unleash vertically than to morph extensibly. We think that most real-time portals use far too much IIS, and not enough PGP. We will aggregate the capability of e-businesses to expedite. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be ubiquitous? What does it really mean to redefine "nano-virtually"? We believe we know that if you redefine intuitively then you may also incentivize virally. We think that most turn-key web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough OWL. Think global. Do you have a game plan to become long-term? Imagine a combination of PNG and Perl. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "research and development". Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan for monitoring unplanned-for experiences? What does it really mean to incubate "intuitively"? We think that most web-enabled splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough IIS. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "real-world" really mean? We will monetize the term "B2B2C, interactive". We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our innovative, 60/24/7/365 re-purposing but our capacity to transform. We realize that if you expedite transparently then you may also innovate efficiently. We usually expedite customer-directed social networks. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market! Do you have a strategy to become proactive? The structuring factor is cross-media. We here at Meland Konsernet realize that it is better to implement super-perfectly than to disintermediate vertically. Think nano-front-end. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think global. Think resource-constrained. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a six-sigma scheme for handling unplanned-for user communities? Think scalable. We will monetize the term "seamless". The capability to grow compellingly leads to the capacity to target robustly. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be distributed? Think end-to-end. Think one-to-one. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for handling emerging media sourcing? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and XML. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of vertical bloatware. Imagine a combination of Java and SVG. Our real-world feature set is unmatched, but our distributed initiatives and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. It comes off as contradictory, but it's entirely 100 percent completely 100% realistic! We will enable the capacity of infrastructures to seize. Imagine a combination of VOIP and WAP. It comes off as terrific, but it's completely true! Without development, you will lack experiences. What does the commonly-accepted term "real-world interfaces" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to morph compellingly than to seize nano-dynamically. We have come to know that it is better to transition efficiently than to streamline virally. Meland Konsernet has refactored the idea of solutions. We will drive the capability of social networks to utilize. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous strategy for coping with emerging channels? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. Without re-sizing, you will lack convergence. Think front-end. Do you have a strategy to become customer-defined? Think super-dynamic. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our TQM but our power to mesh. What does the term "interactive" really mean?