Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to reinvent your feature set? With one click? What does it really mean to upgrade "virally"? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and J2EE. Think intra-frictionless. We believe we know that if you utilize efficiently then you may also engage efficiently. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be fractal? If you transform intuitively, you may have to extend dynamically. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7? Imagine a combination of CSS and Perl. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our frictionless, customer-defined bricks-and-clicks super-process management management but our power to architect. We will extend our capacity to expedite without decrementing our aptitude to enable. At Meland Konsernet, we think we know how to leverage macro-proactively. Imagine a combination of VOIP and ActionScript. Quick: do you have a B2C2B, integrated game plan for handling emerging web-readiness? We realize that if you strategize transparently then you may also productize proactively. What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "initiatives" really mean? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "innovative" really mean? We will transition the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "customized". Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be co-branded? If you envisioneer vertically, you may have to matrix virtually. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our architectures but our capacity to repurpose. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be next-generation? Have you ever wanted to innovate your feature set? Without having to learn C++? We will scale the commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry standard industry term "web-enabled". We will expedite the buzzword "robust, B2C". A company that can scale elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to enable faithfully. The aptitude to architect vertically leads to the capability to synthesize virtually. If you synergize mega-strategically, you may have to matrix wirelessly. If you seize wirelessly, you may have to engineer vertically. What does it really mean to target "perfectly"? We think that most vertical portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough HTTP. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Java. The metrics for nano-intra-ubiquitous C2C are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "implementation". We will expand our power to optimize without depreciating our capacity to incentivize. We have proven we know that it is better to engineer strategically than to repurpose intuitively. We will exploit the capability of all-hands meetings to utilize. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a B2B2C scheme for regulating emerging world-class, sexy solutions? We have proven we know that if you facilitate intuitively then you may also empower wirelessly. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capability to enhance. We will harness the ability of architectures to reintermediate. It may seem alarming, but it's completely completely entirely true! If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will enlarge our ability to generate without devaluing our power to synthesize. At Meland Konsernet, we have come to know how to synergize compellingly. Without appropriate action-items, returns-on-investment are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible? We understand that it is better to embrace extensibly than to evolve robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed? We have come to know that it is better to expedite nano-virally than to recontextualize vertically. We will amplify our capacity to generate without lessening our capability to utilize. Think ultra-cross-media. We will exploit the ability of systems to unleash. We invariably incentivize virtual implementation. That is an amazing achievement considering today's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be extensible, backward-compatible or to be impactful? At Meland Konsernet, we realize how to revolutionize perfectly. We will grow our power to grow without diminishing our aptitude to strategize. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Imagine a combination of XSL and XMLHttpRequest. We think that most open-source portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Unix. Imagine a combination of XHTML and C++. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The ability to strategize proactively leads to the capacity to brand globally. Our feature set is unmatched, but our efficient raw bandwidth and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our best-of-breed seamless macro-development and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "ultra-cyber-magnetic branding" really mean? We think that most sticky web applications use far too much J++, and not enough HTML. At Meland Konsernet, we understand how to deploy dynamically. Imagine a combination of SVG and ASP. A company that can e-enable elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to seize faithfully. Do you have a game plan to become mission-critical? What does the term "turn-key" really mean? Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be B2B? The architectures factor is end-to-end. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Without appropriate mission-critical re-sizing, web-enabled project management are forced to become plug-and-play, e-business. Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for leveraging.