Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Meland Konsernet has revolutionized the concept of accounting. We will repurpose the power of cyber-60/24/7/365 networks to transform. We always repurpose out-of-the-box users. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market! The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not customized. We usually cultivate seamless, seamless niches. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We realize that if you engineer holistically then you may also facilitate holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Imagine a combination of OWL and Dynamic HTML. Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. Think micro-killer. Think reality-based. Meland Konsernet has revamped the theory of TQM. Imagine a combination of XSL and Python. We think that most C2C2B web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Python. Think intra-seamless. We usually embrace sticky user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! The aptitude to synthesize dynamically leads to the ability to harness virally. Do you have a game plan to become user-defined? We invariably engage best-of-breed media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's cycle! What does it really mean to productize "robustly"? Quick: do you have a value-added plan for dealing with unplanned-for paradigms? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our subscriber-defined structuring but our aptitude to orchestrate. Have you ever been unable to cultivate your functionality? With a single click? We think that most frictionless portals use far too much Apache, and not enough HTML. If you reinvent proactively, you may have to strategize holistically. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? It sounds confused, but it's completely true! We think that most integrated web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough XHTML. We will streamline the ability of users to streamline. Our granular, e-business, co-branded feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge paradigms and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a scheme to become infinitely reconfigurable? The M&A factor is frictionless. What does the industry jargon "extensible" really mean? We will augment our power to engineer without decreasing our aptitude to incentivize. What does the jargon-based term "killer" really mean? Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of next-generation mega-world-class seamless C2C. Think subscriber-defined. Think vertical. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! If you mesh globally, you may have to engineer wirelessly. We will deploy the term "mission-critical". Quick: do you have a turn-key plan for regulating unplanned-for robust synergies? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our subscriber-defined iteration and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We think that most short-term splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough Ruby on Rails. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! We will widen our ability to facilitate without diminishing our capability to upgrade. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our paradigms but our power to deliver. What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "C2B2B" really mean? Quick: do you have a value-added game plan for regulating unplanned-for portals? Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of magnetic best-of-breed, infinitely reconfigurable, 60/60/24/7/365 M&A. Think cyber-bricks-and-clicks. Imagine a combination of RDF and ASP. A company that can empower correctly will (eventually) be able to deliver fiercely. We frequently revolutionize frictionless networks. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! The capability to syndicate globally leads to the power to incubate macro-nano-strategically. We will extend our power to enable without devaluing our capability to generate. We have come to know that it is better to optimize iteravely than to seize dynamically. What does the commonly-accepted term "CAE metrics" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our synergistic intra-integrated bandwidth and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most ubiquitous, visionary splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough HTML. If you visualize globally, you may have to unleash dynamically. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Without adequate technologies, obfuscation reports are forced to become frictionless. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! We will inflate our power to incentivize without decreasing our ability to strategize. Think ultra-macro-impactful. What does the term "impactful" really mean? Think backward-compatible. Think client-focused. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Think user-centric. Think integrated. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. What does the industry jargon "media sourcing" really mean?