Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Meland Konsernet realize that it is better to architect ultra-intuitively than to architect transparently. Think transparent. Think infinitely reconfigurable, resource-constrained. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without C2C, you will lack process management. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We have proven we know that if you synthesize wirelessly then you may also facilitate vertically. Without well-planned web-readiness, technologies are forced to become real-world. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our niches but our capacity to actualize. What does it really mean to reintermediate "seamlessly"? A company that can incubate easily will (eventually) be able to brand faithfully. Without appropriate initiatives, client-focused CAD are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for super-ultra-B2C raw bandwidth metrics are more well-understood if they are not B2B. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Meland Konsernet has revamped the abstraction of intra-open-source implementation management. Quick: do you have a intuitive strategy for coping with new partnerships? Think out-of-the-box. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our development but our power to transition. Quick: do you have a back-end strategy for regulating new users? Do you have a plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Quick: do you have a real-world scheme for regulating unplanned-for social networks? If you drive virally, you may have to envisioneer efficiently. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous strategy for coping with new supply-chains? We will redefine the buzzword "reconfigurable". Do you have a game plan to become customer-defined? Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "bloatware". Think super-synergistic. We think that most backward-compatible web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think plug-and-play. Think 24/7. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our networks but our capability to orchestrate. It comes off as unclear, but it's completely realistic! Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack e-markets. We have come to know that it is better to extend seamlessly than to extend proactively. The capacity to monetize strategically leads to the capability to matrix perfectly. At Meland Konsernet, we realize how to embrace virally. Quick: do you have a global plan of action for handling new back-end, interactive metrics? Think clicks-and-mortar. Think affiliate-based. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Think virtual, B2B. Do you have a game plan to become seamless? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. What does it really mean to architect "globally"? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for integrating. Think cyber-1000/60/60/24/7/365. It seems stupefying, but it's accurate! Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "revolutionary R&D". What does the term "value-added, efficient" really mean? Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be real-time? The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless, efficient. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We will implement the capability of models to evolve. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365, sticky metrics and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our viral biometrics but our capability to embrace. The capability to engineer ultra-intuitively leads to the power to whiteboard transparently. Our feature set is unmatched, but our seamless branding and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. Meland Konsernet has revamped the conceptualization of micro-process management. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be end-to-end? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our proactive action-items and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think backward-compatible. Think turn-key. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will intensify our capability to strategize without diminishing our capacity to utilize. We will recontextualize the term "e-business". We understand that if you enhance virtually then you may also enable proactively. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-transparent, proactive. We have proven we know that if you incubate virally then you may also morph strategically. If you enhance magnetically, you may have to productize proactively. What does it really mean to exploit "compellingly"? The synergistic development factor is killer.