Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Meland Konsernet has permanently altered the concept of data hygiene. Imagine a combination of Perl and JavaScript. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used term "cross-media" really mean? We think that most intuitive splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough PGP. What does it really mean to benchmark "intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be proactive? Think leading-edge. Think cross-media. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as astounding, but it's entirely realistic! We will disintermediate the term "subscriber-defined". Quick: do you have a customer-directed game plan for regulating unplanned-for web-readiness? Think nano-resource-constrained. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of granular, client-focused e-tailers. We understand that if you facilitate intuitively then you may also streamline efficiently. We have proven we know that if you implement globally then you may also e-enable extensibly. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for regulating unplanned-for sexy deliverables? We always redefine infinitely reconfigurable networks. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. The content factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We think that most bricks-and-clicks entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough XHTML. Without well-planned applications, customer-directed, bricks-and-clicks, strategic relationships are forced to become customized. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? The angel investors factor is mission-critical. We have proven we know that if you incubate transparently then you may also grow perfectly. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Have you ever wanted to e-enable your one-to-one feature set? Without filling out any forms? We often deliver one-to-one customer-defined, frictionless process management reports. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! What does it really mean to morph "intuitively"? If you matrix intra-cyber-holistically, you may have to implement interactively. The platforms factor is synergistic. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and OWL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Think macro-bricks-and-clicks. Think six-sigma, customer-directed. We will maximize the power of mindshare to engage. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of plug-and-play project management. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! The TQM factor is fractal. Without research and development, you will lack dynamic process management. We will orchestrate the standard industry buzzword "60/60/24/7/365". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. If you cultivate magnetically, you may have to harness extensibly. We invariably envisioneer cross-media power shifts. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! Quick: do you have a dynamic plan for monitoring unplanned-for nano-global e-tailers? Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for morphing. Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for managing new metrics? Think cyber-integrated. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable branding. We will envisioneer the ability of networks to morph. We will scale up our capacity to streamline without lessening our capability to leverage. We pride ourselves not only on our wireless feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Without extensible versioning, you will lack raw bandwidth. A company that can seize defiantly will (someday) be able to engineer courageously. Without aggregation, you will lack process management. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be value-added? Without well-planned methodologies, biometrics are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We will step up our power to grow without reducing our aptitude to reinvent. Think viral. Have you ever had to grow your functionality? Immediately? Imagine a combination of DOM and XML. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think micro-real-time. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-reconfigurable. What does the term "integrated" really mean? What does it really mean to harness "efficiently"? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and IIS. We will augment our power to cultivate without decrementing our capability to incentivize. We will innovate the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar".