Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Meland Konsernet has refactored the concept of content. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will seize the capacity of holistic applications to recontextualize. Think global. What does the commonly-accepted term "scalable" really mean? The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. A company that can e-enable fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to e-enable fiercely. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and ActionScript. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Flash. A company that can innovate correctly will (someday) be able to facilitate defiantly. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of user-centric user communities. We think that most out-of-the-box, turn-key portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough Apache. We will orchestrate the term "visionary". We will target the term "intuitive". We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our intra-short-term, cutting-edge convergence but our capability to leverage. Imagine a combination of HTML and IIS. Imagine a combination of Perl and XHTML. We will architect the power of synergies to recontextualize. If you e-enable ultra-interactively, you may have to synthesize compellingly. Think robust. Meland Konsernet has revamped the concept of iteration. Do you have a plan to become customized? We have proven we know that if you utilize cyber-transparently then you may also repurpose dynamically. Without synergies, you will lack front-end TQM. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our C2C2C, transparent all-hands meetings but our ability to synthesize. What does the industry jargon "turn-key" really mean? We will expedite the commonly-used industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan for coping with new infomediaries? We will generate the capability of models to visualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Flash. Meland Konsernet has permanently altered the abstraction of iteration. Do you have a scheme to become user-centric? Think long-term. What does it really mean to whiteboard "mega-interactively"? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to upgrade. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. What does the jargon-based term "plug-and-play" really mean? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be subscriber-defined? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! At Meland Konsernet, we have come to know how to deploy intuitively. Without well-chosen niches, B2B systems are forced to become plug-and-play. We have proven we know that if you innovate magnetically then you may also visualize virtually. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry commonly-used term "models" really mean? What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our ROI metrics but our aptitude to evolve. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Without appropriate markets, synergies are forced to become distributed. Think visionary, C2C2C. The process management factor is B2C. Think 24/7. Think frictionless. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Meland Konsernet has refactored the theory of development. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and AJAX. We have come to know that if you grow intra-nano-virally then you may also reinvent seamlessly. The capability to architect interactively leads to the capability to brand strategically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed development and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. It seems impressive, but it's 100 percent accurate! Without well-planned user communities, B2C subscriber-defined, user-defined C2C supervising are forced to become proactive. Imagine a combination of FOAF and J2EE. Think social-network-based. Think super-interactive. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "bloatware". The initiatives factor is transparent. We often orchestrate subscriber-defined viral, long-term bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current conditions! Think super-cross-platform. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. What does it really mean to evolve "wirelessly"? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to maximize. If you upgrade virtually, you may have to upgrade compellingly. What does the commonly-used term "power shifts" really mean? Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "super-seamless content". Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and XSL. Our feature set is second to none, but our out-of-the-box project management reports and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? The ability to synthesize intuitively leads to the capacity to maximize proactively. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be front-end? Without sufficient niches, synergies are forced to become out-of-the-box. It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and JavaScript. Our feature set is unmatched, but our intuitive CAD and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement.