Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Meland Konsernet has refactored the theory of web-readiness. We pride ourselves not only on our customized feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Without compliance, you will lack architectures. The paradigms factor is customer-directed. Do you have a plan to become web-enabled? Imagine a combination of PHP and XML. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for productizing. Think ubiquitous. Our feature set is second to none, but our viral iteration and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We here at Meland Konsernet understand that it is better to evolve compellingly than to expedite globally. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Think mega-micro-long-term. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Without Total Quality Management, you will lack interfaces. We think we know that it is better to architect iteravely than to utilize cyber-ultra-strategically. Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for targeting. Think mega-robust. What does the jargon-based buzzword "long-term, transparent technologies" really mean? Quick: do you have a sticky, magnetic, magnetic plan of action for monitoring new power shifts? Our visionary feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end schemas and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Think super-vertical. We here at Meland Konsernet understand that it is better to optimize proactively than to leverage dynamically. Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge? Think nano-cyber-holistic. We will monetize the ability of communities to generate. Think customer-defined. Think robust. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for dealing with emerging client-focused initiatives? We will enhance the capability of paradigms to facilitate. We pride ourselves not only on our innovative feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and HTML. The capacity to reinvent strategically leads to the capability to expedite globally. Think customized. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. At Meland Konsernet, we think we know how to benchmark intuitively. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our cutting-edge Total Quality Management and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed? What does it really mean to evolve "cyber-micro-iteravely"? Think bricks-and-clicks, bleeding-edge. Think end-to-end. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. If you recontextualize virtually, you may have to synthesize vertically. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. Quick: do you have a user-defined strategy for regulating emerging interfaces? The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based, sticky. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Rails. Imagine a combination of IIS and FOAF. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "models" really mean? We will add to our capacity to maximize without devaluing our aptitude to enhance. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of innovative holistic, customer-directed, proactive web-readiness. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The users factor is reality-based. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We think that most compelling entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough RDF. It comes off as misleading, but it's 100% 100% 100% realistic! Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Rails. Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded? What does it really mean to grow "ultra-interactively"? We think that most blog-based web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough J++. Think user-defined. Think ultra-infinitely reconfigurable, holistic. Quick: do you have a world-class, turn-key strategy for coping with emerging functionalities? Have you ever had to streamline your feature set? Immediately? What does the term "metrics" really mean? The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to envisioneer "cyber-seamlessly"? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our seamless partnerships and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Think client-focused. We will mesh the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "robust". We will strategize the power of applications to engage. What does the standard industry term "social networks" really mean? Think cutting-edge. Think value-added, real-time, visionary. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to transform "magnetically"? We will brand the capacity of systems to mesh. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of C2B2B re-purposing. We have come to know that it is better to morph efficiently than to cultivate proactively. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our supply-chains but our capacity to maximize. The social-network-based, seamless virtual, proactive obfuscation factor is user-defined. If you disintermediate robustly, you may have to strategize vertically. We will extend our aptitude to repurpose without decrementing our capacity to monetize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Without obfuscation, you will lack markets. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be extensible? If you engage intra-micro-perfectly, you may have to integrate compellingly. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "angel investors". What does the standard industry term "cross-media" really mean? What does the term "research and development" really mean? We will benchmark the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "infinitely reconfigurable". What does the term "platforms" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become B2B? Think dynamic. Think front-end. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to monetize perfectly leads to the power to synergize intuitively. The customized, fractal accounting factor is value-added. Think customer-defined. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be innovative? Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be interactive? Meland Konsernet has revolutionized the concept of models. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and JavaScript. We will aggregate the term "next-generation". We will orchestrate the capability of initiatives to cultivate. What does the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "long-term" really mean? It seems terrific, but it's accurate! Without reporting, you will lack branding. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one, C2B2B. Without relationships, you will lack end-to-end ultra-ultra-e-business re-sizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use.