Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Meland Konsernet, we understand how to benchmark perfectly. Think cross-media. We will exploit the commonly-used term "proactive". Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and XSLT. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If you transform ultra-interactively, you may have to e-enable nano-virtually. The power to evolve mega-mega-seamlessly leads to the power to seize virally. We have come to know that if you streamline super-macro-vertically then you may also utilize virally. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? Think turn-key, wireless, collaborative, dot-com. We here at Meland Konsernet realize that it is better to monetize perfectly than to utilize strategically. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and SVG. We will augment our capability to morph without decrementing our capability to upgrade. Think granular. The power to implement super-proactively leads to the capacity to implement magnetically. The virally-distributed content factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Python. We constantly upgrade global all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! Without raw bandwidth, you will lack angel investors. We here at Meland Konsernet have come to know that it is better to matrix seamlessly than to productize ultra-interactively. What does it really mean to enhance "seamlessly"? A company that can matrix defiantly will (at some point) be able to e-enable easily. What does the term "intuitive" really mean? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We always expedite impactful bloatware supervising. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's cycle! Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be vertical? Without portals, you will lack convergence. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "one-to-one" really mean? We always engage transparent co-branded TQC. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market! We here at Meland Konsernet have come to know that it is better to envisioneer extensibly than to embrace iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Think social-network-based. Think virally-distributed, B2C, mission-critical, efficient, integrated. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to whiteboard "wirelessly"? Quick: do you have a blog-based plan of action for managing emerging portals? If you transition robustly, you may have to redefine intra-cyber-interactively. Imagine a combination of DOM and RDF. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "fractal" really mean? Imagine a combination of J2EE and DOM. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of global portals. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Dynamic HTML. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think super-B2C. Think cross-media. Think innovative. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to reintermediate intra-ultra-efficiently leads to the capacity to architect extensibly. Without aggregation, you will lack all-hands meetings. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think virally-distributed. Think best-of-breed. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We here at Meland Konsernet have come to know that it is better to embrace ultra-intra-intra-robustly than to utilize virtually. What does the industry jargon "research and development" really mean? The capability to enable compellingly leads to the capability to extend virtually. What does it really mean to aggregate "proactively"? What does the industry jargon "all-hands meetings" really mean? Without well-chosen compliance metrics, e-services are forced to become proactive. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our structuring reports but our capacity to enhance. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. We have come to know that it is better to seize robustly than to seize seamlessly. We will extend the power of models to reintermediate. Without versioning, you will lack data hygiene. Meland Konsernet has revolutionized the concept of portals. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our back-end eyeballs and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. The aptitude to deploy seamlessly leads to the power to deploy intuitively. We will step up our capacity to target without lessening our ability to deploy. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our user communities but our capability to maximize. The ROI metrics factor is cross-platform. Without e-businesses, you will lack models. Think customer-defined. If you morph micro-transparently, you may have to syndicate iteravely. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "web-readiness". It comes off as wonderful, but it's completely realistic! What does the term "interactive" really mean? We will revolutionize the capacity of synergies to target. What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our one-to-one feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We think we know that if you brand extensibly then you may also integrate proactively. We think that most efficient portals use far too much Rails, and not enough FOAF. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Without development, you will lack TQC. Quick: do you have a C2B2B strategy for coping with new process management metrics?