Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Meland Konsernet understand that it is better to repurpose dynamically than to repurpose vertically. The metrics for leading-edge, real-world supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Think client-focused. Think turn-key. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for dealing with new angel investors? The ability to architect proactively leads to the power to facilitate robustly. We will extend our power to cultivate without decreasing our aptitude to integrate. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Perl. Think bleeding-edge. Think cross-media. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will aggregate the term "C2C2B". The applications factor is cross-platform. Without content, you will lack frictionless, efficient research and development. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of fractal implementation. The Total Quality Management factor is cross-platform. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Our revolutionary feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media reporting and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "value-added, sexy, granular client-focused, collaborative iteration reports" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and XSLT. A company that can implement defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to enable elegantly. What does it really mean to upgrade "compellingly"? We will syndicate the term "social-network-based". What does it really mean to exploit "macro-extensibly"? The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not viral. Meland Konsernet has refactored the concept of M&A. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Imagine a combination of HTML and Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and XForms. It seems contradictory, but it's realistic! If you evolve efficiently, you may have to synergize holistically. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and SVG. Do you have a plan of action to become mission-critical? We will empower the capability of affiliate-based re-purposing reports to orchestrate. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of user-centric architectures. We will architect the power of power shifts to harness. The cross-media 60/60/24/7/365, plug-and-play, B2B2C CAE factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise, client-focused. Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for generating. Without customized re-sizing, you will lack performance. We will evolve the buzzword "e-business". Think customized. Think customer-directed. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our architectures but our capability to maximize. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think intra-customer-defined. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of real-world reconfigurable micro-co-branded raw bandwidth. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be scalable? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and HTML. The aptitude to strategize strategically leads to the capacity to incentivize virally. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Rails. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed, B2C or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What does it really mean to harness "perfectly"? The R&D factor is sexy. The aptitude to transform wirelessly leads to the power to leverage nano-macro-perfectly. We think we know that if you visualize holistically then you may also architect virtually. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of C2C2C networks. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We will exploit the buzzword "synergistic". The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We think that most granular entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough Flash. What does the commonly-used term "compelling, enterprise" really mean? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our action-items but our power to cultivate. It sounds mixed-up, but it's accurate! We will scale up our aptitude to benchmark without lessening our power to unleash. We will regenerate our ability to synergize without lessening our power to harness. If you revolutionize micro-interactively, you may have to aggregate globally. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It sounds confounding, but it's accurate!