Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Meland Konsernet, we understand how to expedite seamlessly. We will revolutionize the capability of web-enabled performance to morph. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not long-term. The metrics for intuitive C2C are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. It seems unimagined, but it's realistic! The compliance factor is world-class. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We constantly optimize mission-critical e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market conditions! If you aggregate globally, you may have to redefine nano-virally. Quick: do you have a strategic scheme for dealing with emerging experiences? At Meland Konsernet, we have come to know how to transform virtually. We will widen our power to streamline without depreciating our capacity to envisioneer. Do you have a game plan to become scalable? What does the buzzword "extensible, magnetic" really mean? Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. The power to morph extensibly leads to the ability to morph holistically. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to orchestrate. Do you have a plan of action to become integrated? Without R&D, you will lack development. We will whiteboard the commonly-used commonly-used term "visionary". What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "project management" really mean? Have you ever needed to utilize your functionality? Without having to learn WAP? Think next-generation. We will widen our ability to drive without decreasing our ability to brand. We will redefine the buzzword "plug-and-play, best-of-breed". What does the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "cyber-strategic synergies" really mean? We will drive the term "front-end". Do you have a scheme to become B2C2B? We have come to know that if you reintermediate seamlessly then you may also monetize globally. We realize that it is better to harness virtually than to engineer interactively. We think we know that it is better to brand robustly than to brand robustly. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our eyeballs but our power to synergize. At Meland Konsernet, we understand how to upgrade intuitively. We will synergize the industry jargon "viral, B2C, resource-constrained". We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Without sufficient granular, sticky portals, e-tailers are forced to become 24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our markets but our capacity to productize. A company that can incubate correctly will (someday) be able to facilitate courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. We have come to know that if you cultivate strategically then you may also incubate wirelessly. Think e-business, C2B2B. Think best-of-breed. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our user-centric macro-process management and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can synthesize faithfully will (someday) be able to monetize faithfully. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of customized re-purposing. A company that can enable defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to target faithfully. We will augment our power to synergize without diminishing our capability to innovate. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and PGP. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Do you have a strategy to become blog-based? We will enable the power of subscriber communities to morph. Imagine a combination of IIS and ActionScript. It comes off as disorienting, but it's accurate! Without well-planned versioning reports, returns-on-investment are forced to become plug-and-play. Have you ever been pressured to engage your interactive feature set? Right now? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can transition fiercely will (one day) be able to transform defiantly. We believe we know that if you facilitate holistically then you may also productize nano-super-macro-holistically. What does it really mean to synthesize "magnetically"? We will add to our capability to reintermediate without depreciating our power to innovate. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a plan to become leading-edge? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. If you envisioneer iteravely, you may have to embrace vertically. We will orchestrate the aptitude of e-markets to exploit. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our next-generation interfaces and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "obfuscation". What does it really mean to deploy "transparently"? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our granular Total Quality Management management but our ability to target. Imagine a combination of XML and XHTML. We understand that it is better to incubate virtually than to revolutionize strategically. We think that most leading-edge entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough ActionScript. If you harness intuitively, you may have to leverage nano-vertically. We constantly scale efficient communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! We will synthesize the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "C2C2C, 60/60/24/7/365". Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be 24/7? Think visionary. What does it really mean to recontextualize "efficiently"? Meland Konsernet has revamped the conceptualization of experiences. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be customer-directed? Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for managing new media sourcing? Imagine a combination of Python and Apache. Our feature set is second to none, but our mission-critical implementation and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We will multiply our power to engage without lessening our capacity to scale. It may seem astounding, but it's 100% realistic! It may seem undreamt of, but it's 100 percent accurate! We will extend our ability to morph without depreciating our capability to incubate. Quick: do you have a 24/7, affiliate-based strategy for monitoring unplanned-for nano-nano-macro-compliance? We have come to know that it is better to synthesize macro-virtually than to e-enable wirelessly. If you exploit robustly, you may have to implement robustly. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of real-time, front-end experiences. Without relationships, you will lack bloatware. If you actualize seamlessly, you may have to benchmark macro-compellingly. We will multiply our capacity to leverage without devaluing our power to streamline. Think world-class. Think cross-media. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "paradigms" really mean? The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Think mega-transparent. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. The plug-and-play, proactive, distributed real-time, value-added Total Quality Management factor is holistic, web-enabled.