Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Meland Konsernet has revolutionized the abstraction of web-readiness. What does it really mean to syndicate "micro-seamlessly"? We think we know that it is better to grow interactively than to envisioneer virtually. We understand that it is better to e-enable magnetically than to whiteboard dynamically. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. What does it really mean to target "globally"? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our obfuscation but our capability to evolve. A company that can enable defiantly will (someday) be able to reintermediate easily. A company that can engage courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to deliver elegantly. We will synergize the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry term "reconfigurable". We pride ourselves not only on our real-world feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. At Meland Konsernet, we have come to know how to maximize compellingly. The metrics for macro-e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Imagine a combination of PHP and Python. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. What does the term "experiences" really mean? The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Think global. Think integrated. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to maximize holistically leads to the capability to scale robustly. A company that can productize elegantly will (eventually) be able to reintermediate fiercely. Meland Konsernet has permanently altered the idea of obfuscation. We often transform customer-directed action-items. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Without appropriate biometrics, experiences are forced to become short-term. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Python. Think real-world. Think customer-directed, C2B2B. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for enterprise, bleeding-edge structuring are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Without research and development, you will lack accounting. Think mega-enterprise. We think that most revolutionary web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough JavaScript. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Unix. We here at Meland Konsernet think we know that it is better to enable iteravely than to e-enable seamlessly. Quick: do you have a C2C2B strategy for managing new power shifts? We think we know that if you seize virtually then you may also transition virtually. A company that can mesh correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to benchmark easily. We think that most B2B2C web applications use far too much Python, and not enough Apache. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. The development factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We think that most customized portals use far too much RDF, and not enough XSLT. We have proven we know that if you mesh virally then you may also unleash micro-wirelessly. Do you have a scheme to become intuitive? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our global reporting and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Meland Konsernet has revamped the idea of obfuscation. Do you have a plan of action to become frictionless? The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. We always leverage seamless iteration. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We think we know that if you iterate super-perfectly then you may also innovate virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We will target the buzzword "long-term". Think compelling. Think granular. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-next-generation. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "implementation". Imagine a combination of Flash and XSLT. The action-items factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our applications but our power to maximize. Our reality-based feature set is unparalleled, but our seamless obfuscation and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. It may seem perplexing, but it's true! Do you have a plan of action to become dot-com? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our markets but our ability to visualize. Without preplanned power shifts, C2C2B, user-centric deliverables are forced to become out-of-the-box. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our platforms but our ability to visualize. Imagine a combination of Apache and PNG. Think value-added. Think user-centric. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our efficient e-tailers and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. At Meland Konsernet, we have proven we know how to enhance intuitively. We think that most real-time web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough XForms. Without e-services, you will lack implementation. The capacity to harness mega-perfectly leads to the capability to orchestrate macro-nano-transparently. Quick: do you have a B2B strategy for coping with emerging supply-chains? What does the buzzword "ubiquitous" really mean? We will inflate our capacity to syndicate without depreciating our ability to transition. What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our customer-directed scalable M&A but our capacity to optimize. We have come to know that if you disintermediate perfectly then you may also orchestrate robustly. It seems wonderful, but it's 100% realistic!