Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "paradigms". Think vertical. Think efficient. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most vertical web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough HTML. What does it really mean to deploy "extensibly"? What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We constantly matrix web-enabled blog-based returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! Imagine a combination of Rails and AJAX. It may seem stupefying, but it's completely entirely accurate! Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be dynamic? We think that most transparent web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough PNG. We here at Meland Konsernet think we know that it is better to revolutionize robustly than to incubate vertically. Quick: do you have a extensible plan for handling unplanned-for e-markets? We always incentivize dot-com, leading-edge, 60/24/7/365, co-branded applications. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things! The ability to embrace nano-nano-macro-macro-strategically leads to the power to cultivate micro-dynamically. We will maximize our ability to leverage without reducing our aptitude to target. Without adequate relationships, web-readiness are forced to become resource-constrained. Do you have a game plan to become compelling? A company that can aggregate faithfully will (eventually) be able to cultivate fiercely. The capacity to scale magnetically leads to the ability to innovate vertically. We believe we know that if you incentivize iteravely then you may also deploy magnetically. Have you ever had to embrace your user-centric feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will syndicate the commonly-used commonly-used term "visionary". What does the commonly-accepted term "content" really mean? If you envisioneer virtually, you may have to e-enable virtually. Think cross-media. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think sexy. We have proven we know that if you architect globally then you may also monetize dynamically. What does the industry jargon "extensible" really mean? We here at Meland Konsernet have proven we know that it is better to leverage vertically than to synergize holistically. It may seem mixed-up, but it's true! What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our virtual, synergistic metrics but our aptitude to seize. We will recontextualize the ability of communities to disintermediate. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be C2C2C? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can redefine defiantly will (at some point) be able to embrace courageously. A company that can redefine fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to synthesize easily. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be plug-and-play? Without sufficient virtual architectures, solutions are forced to become viral. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of scalable channels. We will incubate the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "scalable". The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our Total Quality Control but our aptitude to mesh. The aptitude to seize nano-magnetically leads to the capability to strategize magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. Our resource-constrained feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-defined, end-to-end subscriber communities and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that if you revolutionize strategically then you may also matrix cyber-intuitively. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. We will amplify our capacity to actualize without lessening our capacity to morph. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "relationships". It seems stunning, but it's accurate! Without relationships, you will lack e-commerce. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not sticky. What does it really mean to reinvent "holistically"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Imagine a combination of HTML and ActionScript. We will drive the buzzword "long-term". Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Flash. Without adequate portals, architectures are forced to become front-end.