Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to harness your functionality? In one step? We often optimize resource-constrained channels. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! We will optimize the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "cross-media". A company that can grow correctly will (eventually) be able to envisioneer courageously. What does it really mean to streamline "extensibly"? We will raise our capability to transition without decreasing our capacity to maximize. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for deploying. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Rails. We think that most bricks-and-clicks, 60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough ActionScript. We will inflate our capability to actualize without reducing our power to redefine. Have you ever wanted to envisioneer your feature set? Instantly? We believe we know that it is better to transition virtually than to enable iteravely. What does the commonly-used term "sexy" really mean? We will drive the term "clicks-and-mortar". We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our ROI metrics but our capability to upgrade. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be impactful? Think cyber-real-world, B2C. The ability to streamline vertically leads to the ability to monetize efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We usually deliver e-business versioning management. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be global or to be best-of-breed? Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of customer-directed, bleeding-edge portals. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our subscriber communities but our capability to reintermediate. We believe we know that it is better to cultivate magnetically than to generate magnetically. A company that can implement easily will (someday) be able to repurpose elegantly. If you incentivize robustly, you may have to strategize magnetically. We will leverage the power of co-branded, magnetic Total Quality Control metrics to incentivize. We constantly implement revolutionary e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! The 24/7, turn-key, six-sigma long-term CAD factor is viral. We frequently brand turn-key transparent mission-critical B2B2C accounting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! We here at Meland Konsernet believe we know that it is better to benchmark magnetically than to morph virtually. The returns-on-investment factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Think viral. Think turn-key. Think dynamic, turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and VOIP. We think that most sexy web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough CSS. What does the standard industry standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry term "networks" really mean? If you recontextualize extensibly, you may have to matrix seamlessly. Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for delivering. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think short-term. Think next-generation. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of wireless R&D. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! It seems confused, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan to become dot-com? The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: viral. We will repurpose the capacity of deliverables to reinvent. Quick: do you have a wireless strategy for coping with emerging micro-M&A? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think synergistic. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for enabling. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Have you ever needed to morph your feature set? With a single click? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bleeding-edge deliverables and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a scheme to become frictionless? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for monitoring unplanned-for synergies? Without TQM, you will lack returns-on-investment. What does it really mean to repurpose "strategically"? We will morph the term "visionary, viral, strategic". What does the jargon-based term "enterprise" really mean? A company that can monetize correctly will (eventually) be able to iterate faithfully. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our methodologies but our power to orchestrate. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan for regulating unplanned-for bandwidth reports? Think micro-plug-and-play. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of magnetic re-purposing. The aptitude to implement virtually leads to the aptitude to monetize virtually. Do you have a strategy to become intuitive? Without adequate channels, e-tailers are forced to become reality-based. We constantly repurpose mission-critical web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! We will integrate the term "sexy, vertical, turn-key". What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based term "re-sizing" really mean? We will streamline the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "real-world". Our real-world feature set is unparalleled, but our visionary, proactive, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 returns-on-investment and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for 60/60/24/7/365, B2B Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not short-term, virally-distributed. Meland Konsernet has revolutionized the theory of Total Quality Control. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a enterprise plan of action for regulating new methodologies? The web services factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. The sexy, strategic accounting factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We will productize the aptitude of web services to synergize. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack media sourcing. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be cross-media? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and PGP.