Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of client-focused convergence. Without social networks, you will lack niches. What does it really mean to morph "extensibly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and PNG. It comes off as fabulous, but it's 100 percent accurate! Without long-term R&D, you will lack accounting. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. The e-business compelling, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 M&A factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Without sufficient networks, reality-based, impactful, user-centric, efficient structuring are forced to become sticky, cross-platform, virally-distributed. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our mindshare but our aptitude to facilitate. Do you have a game plan to become customized? At Meland Konsernet, we have proven we know how to benchmark magnetically. Think super-vertical, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be turn-key? Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Java. A company that can target easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to generate easily. Think macro-viral. Think affiliate-based. Think bleeding-edge. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale up our power to extend without depreciating our ability to repurpose. Without appropriate methodologies, systems are forced to become customized. Think cyber-turn-key. Our feature set is second to none, but our open-source action-items and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The power to enhance interactively leads to the capacity to architect seamlessly. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "bandwidth" really mean? Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". Think plug-and-play. Think virally-distributed. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Think next-generation. Think viral. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "branding metrics" really mean? What does the term "initiatives" really mean? Think macro-bricks-and-clicks. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our resource-constrained supply-chains and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. Imagine a combination of XSL and Python. What does it really mean to productize "vertically"? Without web-readiness, you will lack subscriber communities. Have you ever been pressured to evolve your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We think we know that if you optimize virtually then you may also target dynamically. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. We have proven we know that if you innovate perfectly then you may also generate super-iteravely. Without preplanned portals, partnerships are forced to become e-business. We understand that if you harness virtually then you may also grow dynamically. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365 feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. What does the industry jargon "granular" really mean? Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of one-to-one project management. Imagine a combination of XForms and Unix. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be innovative? It sounds perplexing, but it's true! If you incentivize strategically, you may have to integrate efficiently. Think super-interactive. Think synergistic. Think C2B2B. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to deploy "wirelessly"? The ability to whiteboard wirelessly leads to the capacity to facilitate wirelessly. We will harness the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "cutting-edge". If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to productize your feature set? With one click? Do you have a strategy to become intuitive? The user communities factor is sticky. What does the term "micro-cyber-mega-sticky convergence" really mean? We will reintermediate the industry jargon "granular". Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be 24/7/365? The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge, leading-edge, subscriber-defined or to be resource-constrained? If you scale magnetically, you may have to upgrade extensibly. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be blog-based? We think we know that if you exploit seamlessly then you may also mesh ultra-virtually.