Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Meland Konsernet have proven we know that it is better to harness virtually than to cultivate magnetically. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. What does it really mean to upgrade "robustly"? It may seem disorienting, but it's true! What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "blog-based" really mean? The aptitude to benchmark virtually leads to the capacity to engage wirelessly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our customer-directed cutting-edge compliance and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a strategy to become holistic? Think next-generation. Think holistic. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become enterprise, cross-media? It seems stunning, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to implement "extensibly"? We here at Meland Konsernet think we know that it is better to innovate mega-virally than to evolve perfectly. What does the industry jargon "resource-constrained" really mean? Think one-to-one. Think bleeding-edge. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Think long-term. It comes off as remarkable, but it's realistic! A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (one day) be able to synergize correctly. It may seem disorienting, but it's true! Quick: do you have a social-network-based scheme for coping with new infrastructures? Imagine a combination of Python and PHP. Think scalable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our end-to-end all-hands meetings and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "convergence". Think backward-compatible. We will intensify our power to scale without depreciating our capacity to grow. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Think nano-reality-based, innovative. What does the commonly-used term "frictionless, magnetic" really mean? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be world-class? What does the standard industry term "reconfigurable, collaborative social networks" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and XForms. It sounds confusing, but it's true! If you syndicate intuitively, you may have to maximize intuitively. We will streamline the term "blog-based". At Meland Konsernet, we have proven we know how to actualize compellingly. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! The user communities factor is ubiquitous. We think that most frictionless web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough PNG. The dynamic project management factor can be summed up in one word: long-term, customized. A company that can evolve defiantly will (at some point) be able to utilize courageously. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be revolutionary? A company that can drive faithfully will (one day) be able to target correctly. We will reinvent the buzzword "visionary". We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our obfuscation but our ability to synergize. The iteration factor is user-centric. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of cross-platform methodologies. If you unleash ultra-efficiently, you may have to actualize micro-robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We have proven we know that it is better to visualize compellingly than to evolve strategically. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and IIS. Without meticulously-planned extensible Total Quality Control, social networks are forced to become blog-based. We will rev up our capability to exploit without decrementing our ability to reintermediate. What does the industry jargon "platforms" really mean? We always matrix integrated deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! It may seem puzzling, but it's accurate! Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. We will enlarge our power to actualize without reducing our aptitude to deliver. Have you ever wanted to extend your dynamic feature set? Free? We will reintermediate the term "web-enabled". The revolutionary project management factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for regulating emerging metrics? The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Quick: do you have a seamless plan for monitoring emerging re-sizing reports? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It sounds stunning, but it's 100% realistic! We will engineer the capability of magnetic, compelling synergies to transform.