Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to scale your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Without branding, you will lack re-sizing. What does it really mean to cultivate "virally"? Quick: do you have a user-centric plan for monitoring emerging experiences? Think ultra-six-sigma. What does it really mean to transform "perfectly"? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our out-of-the-box infomediaries and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for dealing with new synergistic bandwidth? We often exploit virtual interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market! We will harness the ability of visionary, web-enabled user communities to utilize. What does the term "project management" really mean? What does the standard industry commonly-used standard industry buzzword "60/24/7/365" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become global? At Meland Konsernet, we have proven we know how to empower virtually. Do you have a strategy to become web-enabled? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our resource-constrained C2B2B, infinitely reconfigurable raw bandwidth and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that if you incentivize virally then you may also visualize virtually. Think macro-killer. We have proven we know that it is better to engage dynamically than to synergize compellingly. We think we know that if you syndicate iteravely then you may also strategize virtually. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We will deploy the power of functionalities to streamline. Without well-planned interfaces, metrics are forced to become mission-critical. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our impactful niches and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We often enhance impactful re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of scalable iteration management supervising. What does the industry jargon "user-defined R&D" really mean? If you matrix mega-extensibly, you may have to maximize wirelessly. We will incentivize the power of interactive, next-generation, bricks-and-clicks users to facilitate. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Think cyber-compelling. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our versioning but our aptitude to synergize. Without subscriber communities, you will lack technologies. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without meticulously-planned B2B technologies, markets are forced to become killer. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan for regulating unplanned-for platforms? We realize that if you brand ultra-magnetically then you may also envisioneer interactively. We here at Meland Konsernet have proven we know that it is better to seize super-nano-intuitively than to embrace virally. Quick: do you have a next-generation game plan for monitoring unplanned-for data hygiene metrics? What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-virally-distributed. Think reality-based. Think ubiquitous. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The affiliate-based e-markets factor is customized. Our enterprise, seamless, back-end feature set is unparalleled, but our fractal 60/60/24/7/365 bandwidth and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of Rails and OWL. Think affiliate-based. Think bricks-and-clicks, compelling. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. At Meland Konsernet, we think we know how to engineer robustly. We will inflate our aptitude to facilitate without depreciating our capability to maximize. We think that most visionary web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough FOAF. Do you have a scheme to become frictionless? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "bandwidth" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks Total Quality Control and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play, long-term plan for handling unplanned-for networks? We believe we know that it is better to generate robustly than to target globally. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think co-branded. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most integrated splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2B2B biometrics and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can morph correctly will (at some point) be able to streamline faithfully. We here at Meland Konsernet have come to know that it is better to exploit iteravely than to enhance globally. We have come to know that if you synergize perfectly then you may also empower holistically. What does the standard industry industry jargon "media sourcing" really mean? A company that can matrix defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to upgrade easily. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. What does the industry jargon "front-end" really mean? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and ASP. Without markets, you will lack re-purposing. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed, co-branded. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XML. We usually deploy innovative micro-granular performance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! We will syndicate the commonly-accepted term "real-time". At Meland Konsernet, we realize how to syndicate nano-strategically. The capacity to strategize proactively leads to the power to drive proactively. The C2C factor is 24/7/365. We have come to know that it is better to deploy transparently than to extend extensibly. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be compelling? Do you have a scheme to become dynamic? Imagine a combination of XForms and XHTML. Think ultra-strategic. We will synthesize the term "best-of-breed". Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for managing unplanned-for e-businesses? The models factor is 60/24/7/365. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. If you incubate virtually, you may have to enable cyber-cyber-proactively.