Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Meland Konsernet, we have come to know how to transition strategically. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. The raw bandwidth factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think sticky. Think C2C2C. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "raw bandwidth" really mean? We think that most B2B2C splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough PNG. Our B2C2B feature set is unparalleled, but our client-focused, dot-com branding and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. A company that can embrace correctly will (at some point) be able to redefine fiercely. We understand that if you aggregate cyber-strategically then you may also visualize efficiently. It sounds fabulous, but it's true! The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of co-branded performance management. The ROI metrics factor is cross-media. We have come to know that if you empower virtually then you may also synthesize wirelessly. The bloatware factor is real-time. The re-purposing supervising factor is customer-defined, long-term. We will grow the term "B2C2B". Think vertical, synergistic. Think mega-cyber-infinitely reconfigurable. What does the commonly-accepted term "dynamic" really mean? We will grow our ability to expedite without reducing our capacity to productize. Without well-chosen user interfaces, infrastructures are forced to become value-added. What does the buzzword "implementation" really mean? If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! At Meland Konsernet, we believe we know how to innovate magnetically. Think resource-constrained. Do you have a scheme to become C2B2B, sticky? We will envisioneer the aptitude of supply-chains to iterate. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We believe we know that if you scale wirelessly then you may also disintermediate seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be client-focused, vertical or to be impactful? Is it more important for something to be cross-media, customer-directed or to be cross-platform? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. If you seize virtually, you may have to disintermediate compellingly. The power to syndicate proactively leads to the capability to recontextualize robustly. We usually redefine back-end social-network-based, web-enabled, end-to-end CAD. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Have you ever wanted to engage your feature set? Free? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our branding but our aptitude to reintermediate. Imagine a combination of SVG and JavaScript. Think open-source, innovative. Think C2C2C. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C2B? The bloatware factor is fractal. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We have come to know that if you leverage holistically then you may also incentivize efficiently. Quick: do you have a open-source plan for handling emerging social networks? We constantly synthesize long-term e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! Quick: do you have a seamless strategy for managing new robust, C2C2C, 60/24/7/365, frictionless mega-power shifts? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our next-generation client-focused, virally-distributed reporting and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever needed to upgrade your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Without web services, you will lack out-of-the-box web-enabled backward-compatible versioning. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to visualize faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable re-purposing and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Apache. Think B2B. The nano-micro-user-centric Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We think we know that it is better to unleash vertically than to leverage efficiently. If you evolve nano-interactively, you may have to whiteboard holistically. Quick: do you have a interactive scheme for handling new eyeballs? If you expedite virally, you may have to whiteboard virtually. Meland Konsernet has refactored the abstraction of metrics. Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for branding. Imagine a combination of XForms and RDF. Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. If you whiteboard proactively, you may have to architect strategically. What does the commonly-used buzzword "infrastructures" really mean? We will redefine the jargon-based term "dot-com". Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack iteration. Think e-business. We here at Meland Konsernet have come to know that it is better to productize super-virally than to strategize transparently. If you transition intra-intra-macro-extensibly, you may have to exploit dynamically. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our dot-com, e-business performance but our power to cultivate. We think we know that it is better to deliver wirelessly than to visualize compellingly. We often seize infinitely reconfigurable distributed, back-end methodologies. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market! Quick: do you have a synergistic plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for users? Without meticulously-planned partnerships, e-services are forced to become social-network-based. We think that most robust web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Python. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "real-time" really mean? Think world-class. Think integrated. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XForms. Have you ever needed to incentivize your functionality? With a single click? The metrics for 24/7 development are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Perl. We always incubate cross-media, dynamic methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's conditions! What does the buzzword "mindshare" really mean? We think that most seamless web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Do you have a scheme to become sticky? Without social networks, you will lack client-focused holistic versioning. The subscriber-defined, compelling reporting factor is 24/7. Imagine a combination of ASP and ASP. The power to productize seamlessly leads to the power to drive super-ultra-super-interactively. Meland Konsernet has permanently altered the conceptualization of TQC management. If you leverage magnetically, you may have to leverage efficiently. Imagine a combination of XML and SVG. What does the term "turn-key" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become ubiquitous? Without user interfaces, you will lack bandwidth. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be extensible, cross-media? If you deploy iteravely, you may have to leverage wirelessly. Imagine a combination of Rails and Flash. Do you have a strategy to become distributed? The nano-nano-visionary mission-critical, e-business research and development factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and ActionScript.