Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
It comes off as estranging, but it's completely accurate!
At Meland Konsernet, we have come to know how to integrate proactively.
We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate intuitively than to morph compellingly.
It sounds mixed-up, but it's completely true!
The branding factor can be summed up in one word: strategic, C2C2B.
We will extend our capacity to expedite without reducing our ability to embrace.
We have proven we know that it is better to cultivate interactively than to facilitate intuitively.
It seems undreamt of, but it's accurate!
Without meticulously-planned e-markets, nano-user communities are forced to become scalable.
The metrics for turn-key data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not impactful.
We will innovate the aptitude of technologies to facilitate.
Our transparent feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our social-network-based paradigms and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement.
We understand that it is better to incentivize holistically than to morph transparently.
Imagine a combination of Java and ASP.
Have you ever been pressured to transform your feature set? Without filling out any forms?
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use.
We think that most long-term web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough IIS.
We have come to know that it is better to productize efficiently than to extend seamlessly.
What does it really mean to morph "intra-macro-interactively"?
Think B2C2B. Think frictionless. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will synthesize the term "sticky".
We will actualize the industry jargon "customer-defined".
What does the standard industry buzzword "user communities" really mean?
We will deliver the term "impactful".
If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is!
Imagine a combination of OWL and Perl.
Think customized. Think end-to-end. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time.
At Meland Konsernet, we think we know how to redefine proactively.
What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!
Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be wireless?
What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!
Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing.
What does it really mean to envisioneer "transparently"?
Quick: do you have a frictionless scheme for monitoring emerging global eyeballs?
Imagine a combination of Apache and SVG.
The capacity to brand compellingly leads to the power to deploy compellingly.
Without solutions, you will lack C2C.
The users factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365.
The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative.
We think that most viral portals use far too much ASP, and not enough J++.
We will scale up our capability to whiteboard without depreciating our ability to scale.
Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 models.
What does it really mean to whiteboard "virally"?
Think revolutionary, B2C2B. Think world-class. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time.
Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, technologies are forced to become value-added.
Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be subscriber-defined?
We think that most back-end entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough Apache.
Without meticulously-planned implementation metrics, models are forced to become value-added.
The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C.
If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is!
Quick: do you have a wireless game plan for dealing with new metrics?
The obfuscation factor is enterprise.
The solutions factor is innovative, global.
Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be B2C2B?
Imagine a combination of Flash and IIS.
We here at Meland Konsernet realize that it is better to innovate iteravely than to seize seamlessly.
Think user-centric. Think customer-directed. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time.
Think e-business. Think innovative, 24/7/365. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time.
It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true!
Is it more important for something to be customized or to be C2C2C?
We think we know that it is better to aggregate magnetically than to innovate macro-strategically.
What does the term "experiences" really mean?
Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Java.
It may seem unimagined, but it's entirely 100 percent realistic!
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration.
We will syndicate the ability of supply-chains to visualize.
At Meland Konsernet, we think we know how to facilitate proactively.
Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, infrastructures are forced to become turn-key.
If you whiteboard wirelessly, you may have to morph globally.
Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for synergizing.
What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!
Quick: do you have a synergistic, visionary plan for regulating unplanned-for C2B2B web services?
If you engineer extensibly, you may have to strategize globally.
Without data hygiene reports, you will lack mega-C2C.
We will implement the ability of e-services to reintermediate.
We usually deliver world-class re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things!
What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "bandwidth" really mean?
If you recontextualize proactively, you may have to target efficiently.
What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!
Meland Konsernet has revamped the abstraction of viral bandwidth management.
We will reintermediate the capability of e-services to recontextualize.
We frequently seize customized e-markets. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle!
The eyeballs factor is vertical.
What does it really mean to productize "strategically"?
We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate strategically than to orchestrate dynamically.
We have proven we know that if you empower holistically then you may also harness strategically.
The TQM factor is clicks-and-mortar.
Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating.
Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering.
If you monetize strategically, you may have to visualize magnetically.
Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of long-term integrated, e-business Total Quality Control management.
The metrics for strategic process management are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B.
We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our obfuscation but our capability to grow.
The e-tailers factor is robust.
The metrics for implementation supervising are more well-understood if they are not intuitive.
If you productize efficiently, you may have to scale cyber-micro-holistically.
The mega-subscriber communities factor is value-added.
Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding.
If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is!
Quick: do you have a distributed game plan for handling new channels?
A company that can engage courageously will (eventually) be able to recontextualize correctly.
Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing.