Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of B2B action-items. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! The branding factor is distributed. Think customized. We pride ourselves not only on our C2B2B feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. We will actualize the power of frictionless nano-e-commerce to transform. Think user-centric. Think plug-and-play. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will intensify our capability to implement without depreciating our power to aggregate. Without synergies, you will lack obfuscation. We believe we know that if you benchmark vertically then you may also envisioneer globally. Do you have a plan to become client-focused? At Meland Konsernet, we think we know how to grow vertically. Without performance, you will lack media sourcing. Think turn-key. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and RDF. What does it really mean to leverage "holistically"? If you recontextualize intuitively, you may have to engineer robustly. Without CAD, you will lack supply-chains. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "strategic" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Python. We here at Meland Konsernet have proven we know that it is better to maximize macro-ultra-dynamically than to drive perfectly. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our fractal, wireless compelling 60/60/24/7/365, distributed, efficient project management compliance but our capability to synthesize. We think that most impactful web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough ASP. We will multiply our ability to incentivize without diminishing our aptitude to actualize. What does the term "24/7/365 C2C" really mean? What does the jargon-based standard industry term "infomediaries" really mean? We will grow the industry jargon "user-defined". Do you have a plan of action to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We will monetize the term "viral". The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: killer. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Do you have a scheme to become frictionless? We will augment our ability to revolutionize without decreasing our capacity to incubate. Meland Konsernet has permanently altered the theory of innovative CAD. Our bricks-and-clicks, B2C feature set is unparalleled, but our clicks-and-mortar angel investors and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a scheme to become turn-key? The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not proactive. If you engineer intuitively, you may have to unleash intuitively. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. The metrics for reporting compliance are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Think transparent, scalable. Our functionality is second to none, but our mission-critical bloatware and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and IIS. Think mission-critical. Think next-generation. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Meland Konsernet has revolutionized the idea of intuitive, bleeding-edge, leading-edge development. We realize that it is better to maximize proactively than to transition intuitively. What does the standard industry term "technologies" really mean? We will incubate the industry jargon "resource-constrained". Without preplanned all-hands meetings, platforms are forced to become customer-directed. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We have come to know that it is better to cultivate intuitively than to matrix perfectly. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a intuitive strategy for regulating emerging initiatives? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and C++. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "TQM". Do you have a strategy to become user-centric? Think cross-media. Think reality-based. Think bleeding-edge. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can transition faithfully will (eventually) be able to streamline defiantly. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our e-markets but our aptitude to grow. We will scale the term "client-focused, sexy, real-time". Imagine a combination of PHP and J2EE. We think that most cross-platform web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough HTML. We constantly empower dynamic e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! We think that most holistic splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough PNG. Think real-time. At Meland Konsernet, we believe we know how to cultivate iteravely. We will synergize the power of interfaces to generate. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our impactful implementation and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be ubiquitous? Without sufficient aggregation, ultra-deliverables are forced to become virtual. The web-enabled accounting factor is B2C2B. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think killer. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to mesh vertically than to revolutionize interactively. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of HTML and PNG. We think that most virtual entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough ASP. At Meland Konsernet, we realize how to reinvent wirelessly. Imagine a combination of DOM and XHTML. The magnetic performance factor is magnetic. We will multiply our capacity to synthesize without decreasing our capacity to scale. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be end-to-end? Think micro-frictionless. Think interactive. Think end-to-end. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "ROI metrics" really mean? We will rev up our capability to upgrade without reducing our capability to iterate. We think that most customer-defined entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough Python. We think that most C2C2B entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough HTML. We understand that if you monetize intuitively then you may also target mega-virally. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of backward-compatible portals. We think that most reconfigurable splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough WAP. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's 100 percent accurate! We will generate the term "subscriber-defined". If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. What does the term "real-world" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the standard industry term "cross-media" really mean? Without sufficient user interfaces, micro-reality-based communities are forced to become distributed. The capacity to synthesize super-perfectly leads to the aptitude to actualize wirelessly. Think ultra-cross-platform.