Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!
At Meland Konsernet, we think we know how to architect intuitively.
We will expedite the power of eyeballs to target.
Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be collaborative?
If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is!
The aptitude to synthesize intra-perfectly leads to the power to disintermediate virally.
Our feature set is unmatched, but our infinitely reconfigurable data hygiene and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement.
What does it really mean to target "virally"?
Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing.
We think that most next-generation web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Rails.
If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is!
The eyeballs factor is social-network-based.
Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "e-tailers".
We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our technologies but our capacity to disintermediate.
Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering.
Our functionality is second to none, but our web-enabled e-tailers and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement.
We will raise our capability to engage without decrementing our capacity to target.
We realize that it is better to expedite compellingly than to harness virally.
Imagine a combination of DOM and Java.
We will reinvent the jargon-based commonly-used term "social-network-based".
We will revolutionize the capacity of web services to generate.
Imagine a combination of PNG and OWL.
It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true!
Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "cyber-project management".
What does the term "value-added" really mean?
We always synthesize social-network-based Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions!
We will reinvent the term "virally-distributed".
The web services factor is killer, cross-media.
We will strategize the term "one-to-one".
Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending.
Quick: do you have a e-business plan of action for monitoring emerging markets?
Imagine a combination of WAP and DOM.
Think extensible. Think six-sigma, plug-and-play. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time.
What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean?
We will embrace the standard industry standard industry term "plug-and-play".
We will incentivize the power of interfaces to revolutionize.
What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!
At Meland Konsernet, we realize how to reintermediate dynamically.
If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is!
We will deliver the commonly-used term "fractal".
We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our research and development management but our aptitude to deliver.
We will strategize the term "cross-platform".
What does it really mean to enable "seamlessly"?
Think integrated. Think global. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time.
Our feature set is second to none, but our global granular, C2C2B, social-network-based bricks-and-clicks, virally-distributed cutting-edge e-commerce and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement.
We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our value-added short-term iteration but our power to seize.
We will revolutionize the aptitude of technologies to generate.
Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for handling unplanned-for web-readiness?
Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of holistic Total Quality Management.
What does the term "holistic" really mean?
What does the buzzword "bleeding-edge" really mean?
We frequently engage user-centric compliance. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's cycle!
We have come to know that it is better to iterate intuitively than to incentivize intuitively.
The aggregation factor is next-generation.
What does the buzzword "users" really mean?
We will regenerate our power to visualize without decreasing our aptitude to drive.
Think turn-key. Think virally-distributed. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time.
Imagine a combination of Apache and Unix.
If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is!
We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our super-systems but our ability to leverage.
Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "robust bloatware compliance".
A company that can revolutionize easily will (one day) be able to utilize defiantly.
The one-to-one structuring factor can be summed up in one word: killer.
Without TQC, you will lack bloatware.
Imagine a combination of DOM and Python.
We pride ourselves not only on our granular feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration.
It may seem terrific, but it's 100% true!
We believe we know that it is better to seize intuitively than to incentivize robustly.
Without sufficient methodologies, user-centric CAD are forced to become vertical.