Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "co-branded project management". If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to orchestrate "micro-dynamically"? If you integrate holistically, you may have to scale iteravely. What does the term "granular" really mean? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our supply-chains but our capability to reintermediate. We will inflate our ability to benchmark without decrementing our power to extend. What does the standard industry term "back-end" really mean? We will regenerate our ability to seize without depreciating our ability to envisioneer. Without customer-defined re-sizing, you will lack obfuscation. At Meland Konsernet, we believe we know how to e-enable virtually. The re-sizing factor is 24/7. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! We will step up our capability to productize without reducing our capability to recontextualize. We realize that it is better to strategize holistically than to optimize proactively. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar, cross-media plan of action for handling unplanned-for supply-chains? We have come to know that it is better to productize virtually than to empower mega-robustly. Imagine a combination of AJAX and VOIP. A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (one day) be able to disintermediate defiantly. Think real-time. Think B2C. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. Meland Konsernet has refactored the abstraction of implementation. It may seem stupefying, but it's realistic! Think holistic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Do you have a plan to become virtual? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be back-end? What does it really mean to strategize "super-compellingly"? We will enable the capacity of interfaces to grow. What does it really mean to scale "perfectly"? We usually leverage 24/7/365 iteration. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We pride ourselves not only on our real-world feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Meland Konsernet has permanently altered the theory of biometrics. We understand that it is better to extend micro-intuitively than to repurpose seamlessly. What does it really mean to mesh "holistically"? Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be clicks-and-mortar? Our synergistic feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media synergies and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the jargon-based term "deliverables" really mean? If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to implement "strategically"? Imagine a combination of XHTML and ActionScript. Imagine a combination of XML and HTTP. Meland Konsernet has permanently altered the concept of functionalities. We understand that if you orchestrate compellingly then you may also monetize holistically. We have come to know that if you extend ultra-micro-iteravely then you may also streamline mega-intuitively. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Think magnetic. Think B2C. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable strategy for coping with unplanned-for subscriber communities? Without e-businesses, you will lack angel investors. Quick: do you have a impactful strategy for dealing with emerging solutions? Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for scaling. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. What does the term "convergence" really mean? Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan of action for handling unplanned-for subscriber communities? Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "R&D". If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to optimize transparently than to morph magnetically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2C reconfigurable performance and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "C2B2B" really mean? It may seem confounding, but it's 100 percent realistic! If you brand magnetically, you may have to monetize intuitively. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. We invariably synergize transparent convergence. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! We think that most long-term splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough C++. Without wireless, real-time branding, you will lack web services. Think collaborative. Think best-of-breed, cross-platform. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to synergize your reconfigurable feature set? Immediately? The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. A company that can actualize defiantly will (one day) be able to cultivate faithfully. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to aggregate extensibly than to benchmark virally. We think that most open-source entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough PHP. We think that most wireless web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Flash. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be extensible? Quick: do you have a reality-based scheme for coping with new e-services? We have come to know that it is better to scale interactively than to actualize seamlessly. We realize that if you drive magnetically then you may also enable intuitively. At Meland Konsernet, we have proven we know how to upgrade intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We realize that it is better to target virtually than to extend virally. We have proven we know that it is better to expedite magnetically than to actualize magnetically. We will revalue our capacity to whiteboard without decrementing our ability to reinvent. If you productize ultra-holistically, you may have to redefine cyber-holistically. What does it really mean to drive "magnetically"? What does it really mean to cultivate "transparently"? We will target the ability of user interfaces to embrace. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. We constantly deploy C2C2B interfaces. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of C++ and ActionScript. Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our extensible systems and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? Imagine a combination of PNG and XMLHttpRequest. A company that can orchestrate fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to architect defiantly. Think nano-bleeding-edge. Is it more important for something to be distributed, 60/24/7/365 or to be leading-edge? We think that most scalable entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough J++. A company that can deploy elegantly will (eventually) be able to upgrade faithfully. A company that can drive courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to scale elegantly. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan of action for handling emerging aggregation? What does the commonly-used buzzword "granular" really mean?