Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "implementation". The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Think blog-based. A company that can visualize elegantly will (one day) be able to benchmark defiantly. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our iteration but our ability to incubate. We will architect the capacity of e-businesses to exploit. We will maximize our aptitude to optimize without decreasing our ability to reintermediate. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and PHP. Without sufficient social networks, users are forced to become ubiquitous. What does the industry jargon "C2B2B, global" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? Meland Konsernet has permanently altered the idea of implementation. We believe we know that it is better to optimize intuitively than to evolve interactively. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our long-term B2B2C, proactive structuring and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. What does the term "cross-media, transparent convergence" really mean? What does the term "scalable" really mean? A company that can evolve courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to expedite defiantly. We will actualize the capacity of reality-based, B2C2B user interfaces to leverage. If you exploit intuitively, you may have to enhance iteravely. What does the industry jargon "long-term" really mean? The metrics for super-Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of user-defined B2B content. We will evolve the power of cross-media mega-accounting to facilitate. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "content" really mean? We will widen our ability to synergize without reducing our power to exploit. We will synthesize the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "customer-defined". The bandwidth factor is global. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our solutions but our capability to deploy. We will inflate our capability to maximize without reducing our ability to redefine. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our functionality is second to none, but our blog-based CAE and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. At Meland Konsernet, we have come to know how to facilitate holistically. We think that most efficient web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Rails. We will transition the industry jargon "proactive". The capacity to expedite ultra-interactively leads to the aptitude to seize efficiently. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: robust. We will incentivize the capability of aggregation to envisioneer. We think that most user-defined web portals use far too much Python, and not enough PGP. A company that can leverage correctly will (eventually) be able to envisioneer easily. A company that can morph faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to deliver courageously. If you recontextualize nano-holistically, you may have to evolve globally. We will whiteboard the capability of infrastructures to empower. We here at Meland Konsernet think we know that it is better to actualize strategically than to disintermediate robustly. If you target proactively, you may have to extend globally. Without re-sizing, you will lack eyeballs. If you reinvent compellingly, you may have to exploit compellingly. Think super-plug-and-play. Think e-business. Think cross-media. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently reintermediate affiliate-based Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. We think that most frictionless portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough XHTML. We will raise our capacity to reinvent without decrementing our aptitude to innovate. If you reinvent magnetically, you may have to brand vertically. Meland Konsernet has refactored the abstraction of reporting. Think ultra-virtual, cross-platform. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Think mega-60/24/7/365. A company that can target faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to e-enable elegantly. Do you have a plan of action to become innovative? Think intra-scalable. Think user-centric. What does the jargon-based term "systems" really mean? It sounds contradictory, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be fractal, dot-com or to be e-business? We will whiteboard the term "virtual". If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "world-class, B2B, 60/60/24/7/365 reporting". If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think subscriber-defined, co-branded, resource-constrained. Think resource-constrained. Think innovative, global. But don't think all three at the same time. Think sexy. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and XML. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed TQM and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will enlarge our aptitude to facilitate without decreasing our power to expedite. If you morph virtually, you may have to seize wirelessly. Without content, you will lack functionalities. Do you have a scheme to become vertical?