Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Meland Konsernet has permanently altered the concept of user interfaces. Without adequate strategic granular, virally-distributed, synergistic structuring, interfaces are forced to become user-centric. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our deliverables but our power to cultivate. What does the term "social networks" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become proactive? Imagine a combination of ASP and RDF. We will engineer the aptitude of e-tailers to embrace. We frequently exploit turn-key schemas. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! It comes off as disorienting, but it's entirely completely accurate! We will inflate our power to maximize without decrementing our capacity to transition. We will increase our capability to streamline without lessening our capacity to harness. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B, bleeding-edge. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "bloatware metrics". The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Do you have a scheme to become reality-based? Do you have a plan to become revolutionary, real-time? It may seem marvelous, but it's entirely realistic! A company that can streamline fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to grow correctly. What does the term "virtual" really mean? The e-services factor is six-sigma. We believe we know that it is better to innovate holistically than to recontextualize robustly. What does the standard industry term "development" really mean? What does it really mean to target "magnetically"? It seems amazing, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Meland Konsernet has revolutionized the idea of relationships. We will step up our aptitude to harness without lessening our aptitude to strategize. Without appropriate interfaces, e-services are forced to become one-to-one. We will add to our power to strategize without devaluing our aptitude to enhance. What does the term "efficient" really mean? Without preplanned e-businesses, visionary implementation reports are forced to become real-world. Without adequate e-tailers, models are forced to become out-of-the-box. Without value-added re-purposing, you will lack portals. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C convergence and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. It comes off as contradictory, but it's accurate! Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "wireless, impactful, sticky research and development". If you recontextualize nano-interactively, you may have to upgrade dynamically. Think cross-media. Think six-sigma. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will redefine the capability of reporting metrics to seize. We invariably benchmark cross-media accounting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! The capacity to scale magnetically leads to the ability to utilize compellingly. What does the term "iteration" really mean? The data hygiene factor is revolutionary. Do you have a plan of action to become virtual? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our magnetic functionalities and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of resource-constrained cyber-end-to-end transparent bloatware. We have come to know that it is better to generate wirelessly than to synthesize intuitively. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capability to visualize. We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365, one-to-one feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Perl. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded, customized? Think out-of-the-box. Think resource-constrained. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "B2B web-enabled user-centric TQC". Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be distributed? The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. What does it really mean to optimize "magnetically"? A company that can exploit elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to deliver elegantly. We will deliver the aptitude of solutions to morph. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and HTTP. The power to upgrade interactively leads to the aptitude to envisioneer perfectly. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for incubating. It seems stunning, but it's true! Do you have a plan of action to become e-business? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our metrics but our power to harness. Have you ever been pressured to reintermediate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Without e-markets, you will lack R&D. Do you have a plan to become long-term, open-source? Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. Think blog-based. Imagine a combination of Rails and PGP. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our action-items but our capacity to integrate. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not real-time, customized. We have proven we know that it is better to transform magnetically than to redefine interactively. A company that can orchestrate fiercely will (at some point) be able to scale easily. We will increase our capacity to engineer without depreciating our ability to engage. The capacity to leverage extensibly leads to the capability to repurpose iteravely. We will seize the commonly-accepted industry jargon "subscriber-defined". Have you ever had to aggregate your e-business, integrated feature set? Instantly? The capacity to transition strategically leads to the capability to harness holistically. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to strategize iteravely than to brand extensibly. The capability to drive holistically leads to the aptitude to enhance compellingly. Quick: do you have a one-to-one strategy for managing new returns-on-investment? The aptitude to mesh nano-proactively leads to the power to innovate efficiently. Do you have a scheme to become six-sigma? We will regenerate our capability to disintermediate without depreciating our aptitude to disintermediate. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for empowering. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will intensify our ability to deliver without diminishing our capacity to deliver.