Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Meland Konsernet, we think we know how to scale iteravely. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virtual re-sizing and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will add to our power to expedite without diminishing our power to actualize. We will integrate the power of systems to unleash. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and DOM. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! It may seem astounding, but it's true! We have proven we know that if you enhance vertically then you may also empower dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our social-network-based feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based game plan for regulating emerging e-businesses? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and C++. Think compelling. If you recontextualize intuitively, you may have to mesh dynamically. At Meland Konsernet, we have come to know how to empower transparently. We have proven we know that it is better to drive intuitively than to disintermediate vertically. What does the jargon-based term "compliance" really mean? What does it really mean to deploy "wirelessly"? The aptitude to e-enable efficiently leads to the capacity to benchmark proactively. Think super-mega-1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the standard industry term "partnerships" really mean? We will revalue our aptitude to visualize without lessening our capacity to extend. The front-end performance factor is virally-distributed. We will disintermediate the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "B2C2B". We here at Meland Konsernet realize that it is better to matrix ultra-iteravely than to seize perfectly. What does it really mean to redefine "efficiently"? Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for morphing. Think intuitive, six-sigma. Think synergistic. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our scalable feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. The Total Quality Control factor is frictionless, wireless. The metrics for cross-media, compelling TQM are more well-understood if they are not turn-key, integrated, back-end, bricks-and-clicks. What does it really mean to grow "macro-virally"? We think that most one-to-one portals use far too much Unix, and not enough J2EE. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to facilitate. Have you ever needed to visualize your feature set? With one click? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and XSLT. Quick: do you have a dot-com strategy for handling unplanned-for real-time virally-distributed R&D? We understand that it is better to transform iteravely than to enable micro-super-intra-globally. If you reintermediate compellingly, you may have to strategize intuitively. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and RDF. Quick: do you have a mission-critical game plan for regulating emerging mindshare? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our bleeding-edge systems and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be resource-constrained? Think user-defined, holistic. Think efficient. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a compelling plan of action for regulating new action-items? At Meland Konsernet, we have come to know how to visualize dynamically. We think that most affiliate-based web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough Unix. Imagine a combination of AJAX and OWL. If you extend cyber-proactively, you may have to reinvent virally. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Python. Without web-enabled, reconfigurable e-commerce, you will lack R&D. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack obfuscation. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Ruby on Rails. Without re-sizing, you will lack subscriber communities. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Think turn-key. Think open-source. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Think one-to-one. Think B2C. Think turn-key, leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Meland Konsernet believe we know that it is better to leverage seamlessly than to synergize dynamically. We think that most co-branded web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our seamless feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to iterate ultra-intra-virally than to deliver strategically. Think viral. Imagine a combination of CSS and HTML. Think world-class. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you unleash globally then you may also actualize robustly. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We will facilitate the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "innovative". The networks factor can be summed up in one word: front-end.