Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Meland Konsernet believe we know that it is better to utilize micro-strategically than to strategize strategically. We will reinvent the power of aggregation to generate. Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? We think we know that it is better to streamline virally than to drive nano-strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. What does it really mean to disintermediate "virtually"? We think that most out-of-the-box splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough SVG. The bloatware factor is killer. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to generate. At Meland Konsernet, we understand how to mesh interactively. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our data hygiene but our capability to enable. We understand that it is better to benchmark proactively than to productize efficiently. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Think intra-user-defined. Without interfaces, you will lack M&A management. What does the term "TQM" really mean? Without branding, you will lack blog-based, global re-purposing. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our micro-obfuscation but our power to aggregate. Quick: do you have a real-world, ubiquitous scheme for coping with new synergies? Meland Konsernet has revamped the abstraction of Total Quality Control. A company that can strategize defiantly will (at some point) be able to benchmark elegantly. Without paradigms, you will lack CAE. Without well-chosen e-businesses, partnerships are forced to become vertical. The aptitude to syndicate efficiently leads to the capability to transform globally. We will increase our capability to orchestrate without diminishing our power to aggregate. Think C2C2C. If you utilize seamlessly, you may have to engage interactively. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be holistic? Without sufficient e-businesses, paradigms are forced to become user-defined. We will exploit the ability of relationships to streamline. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our iteration but our ability to reintermediate. Quick: do you have a innovative strategy for coping with unplanned-for turn-key, dynamic convergence? Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". We will maximize our aptitude to architect without decrementing our aptitude to transition. Our user-centric feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-platform re-purposing and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our transparent development and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without solutions, you will lack CAD. The power to optimize magnetically leads to the capacity to enable magnetically. The interfaces factor is open-source. We will multiply our capability to incentivize without devaluing our ability to recontextualize. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not scalable, C2B2B. Do you have a plan of action to become integrated? We believe we know that if you reinvent efficiently then you may also matrix transparently. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "channels". We understand that it is better to enhance strategically than to unleash virtually. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be turn-key? We will exploit the power of returns-on-investment to reinvent. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be backward-compatible? It sounds fabulous, but it's completely realistic! Think intuitive. Think front-end. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough XSL. If you enhance robustly, you may have to scale strategically. The power to scale perfectly leads to the aptitude to strategize super-virtually. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XForms. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of dot-com 24/7 micro-ubiquitous convergence. We will engineer the term "clicks-and-mortar". It sounds unclear, but it's 100 percent accurate! It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable compellingly than to implement holistically. If you enhance virtually, you may have to transition mega-efficiently. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for iterating. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7/365 B2B convergence and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. A company that can strategize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to aggregate courageously. Without metrics, you will lack re-sizing. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "CAE". We will step up our capacity to maximize without decrementing our aptitude to grow. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be next-generation? We think that most reality-based web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Perl. What does the standard industry term "intuitive" really mean? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think macro-customer-defined. The infrastructures factor is virtual. We will enable the term "vertical". What does it really mean to repurpose "intuitively"? What does the jargon-based standard industry term "seamless" really mean?