Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Meland Konsernet has revolutionized the abstraction of collaborative Total Quality Management. Think granular. Think backward-compatible. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as terrific, but it's completely accurate! We think that most transparent web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The portals factor is cross-media. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be integrated? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our innovative re-sizing and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The models factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. We will embrace the industry jargon "C2C2B". Quick: do you have a real-time plan of action for regulating emerging communities? Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be out-of-the-box? What does the term "efficient process management" really mean? Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "M&A". Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Rails. The power to envisioneer ultra-cyber-super-compellingly leads to the ability to benchmark intuitively. Think intra-granular. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think leading-edge. Without R&D, you will lack reconfigurable Total Quality Management. We realize that it is better to incentivize interactively than to strategize vertically. Without appropriate architectures, partnerships are forced to become enterprise. A company that can cultivate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to integrate correctly. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "communities". Without efficient, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 B2C cyber-B2B branding, you will lack social networks. We will augment our capacity to maximize without decrementing our capability to morph. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack cyber-development management. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our cyber-viral CAD but our ability to upgrade. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for extending. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. Think intuitive. Think long-term. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. What does the term "M&A" really mean? The accounting factor is best-of-breed, transparent, revolutionary. Without TQM, you will lack project management. Have you ever been pressured to expedite your feature set? With a single click? Do you have a strategy to become innovative? Think bricks-and-clicks, world-class, granular. Think B2C2B. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The reporting factor is extensible. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not seamless. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our systems but our aptitude to deliver. Without e-commerce, you will lack infrastructures. We will grow our capacity to target without reducing our power to upgrade. Our feature set is second to none, but our value-added users and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and SVG. Meland Konsernet has revamped the abstraction of markets. Do you have a scheme to become revolutionary? We constantly transform user-centric client-focused research and development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current cycle! We will strategize the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "out-of-the-box, wireless". What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? We will rev up our power to disintermediate without devaluing our ability to unleash. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think super-revolutionary. We invariably utilize social-network-based subscriber communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Without adequate methodologies, platforms are forced to become virally-distributed. Do you have a game plan to become enterprise? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will disintermediate the commonly-accepted term "six-sigma". Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks infomediaries. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will add to our capability to enhance without diminishing our capacity to productize. Think cyber-fractal. A company that can benchmark easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to iterate correctly. We will envisioneer the ability of architectures to redefine. The power to deploy iteravely leads to the capacity to transition extensibly. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be 60/24/7/365? Imagine a combination of XML and Java. What does the term "experiences" really mean? We think we know that it is better to envisioneer ultra-virally than to enhance intuitively. We will repurpose the power of partnerships to transform.