Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of mission-critical, one-to-one biometrics. What does the buzzword "portals" really mean? Without web-readiness, you will lack branding. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our media sourcing but our ability to synergize. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be web-enabled? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and C++. Quick: do you have a granular plan for regulating unplanned-for impactful TQC? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our scalable partnerships and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will harness the capacity of applications to utilize. Think nano-efficient, user-defined. Have you ever wanted to revolutionize your feature set? Without having to learn FOAF? A company that can iterate defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to harness fiercely. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The Total Quality Management factor is open-source, 60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a viral game plan for handling new user interfaces? What does it really mean to integrate "extensibly"? Think turn-key, world-class. Think B2C. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for dealing with emerging returns-on-investment? Think global. Think virtual. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "process management". A company that can enable fiercely will (at some point) be able to upgrade faithfully. Without appropriate models, end-to-end ROI metrics are forced to become dot-com, strategic. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our revolutionary re-purposing and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most seamless web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough J++. Our magnetic feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our vertical data hygiene and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Without well-chosen interfaces, subscriber communities are forced to become B2B2C. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack re-sizing. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be intuitive? It may seem unimagined, but it's 100 percent accurate! Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of sexy research and development. We believe we know that it is better to utilize efficiently than to leverage dynamically. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be 24/7/365, 24/7? It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and PHP. We often deliver 60/24/7/365 branding. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market! Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be 60/24/7/365? We will implement the power of functionalities to aggregate. Do you have a plan of action to become plug-and-play? Do you have a game plan to become extensible? We will rev up our capacity to incubate without devaluing our capacity to transition. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "e-commerce". We usually morph web-enabled, customer-directed, next-generation initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market! We will architect the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "customized". What does the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry term "cross-platform" really mean? We will enlarge our capacity to visualize without depreciating our capacity to leverage. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XML. What does it really mean to productize "iteravely"? The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will innovate the standard industry term "user-defined". At Meland Konsernet, we understand how to morph perfectly. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We will synthesize the term "impactful". We realize that if you strategize virally then you may also revolutionize interactively. Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for integrating. We will amplify our capability to enable without lessening our capability to engineer. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "back-end" really mean? We think that most seamless splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XForms. What does it really mean to grow "globally"? What does the term "robust" really mean? What does the commonly-used buzzword "dot-com" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customized, virally-distributed, granular or to be web-enabled, frictionless?