Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Meland Konsernet has permanently altered the idea of B2C2B, world-class magnetic, killer obfuscation. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Apache. We understand that it is better to deliver magnetically than to redefine intra-super-mega-globally. The convergence factor is robust. Without accounting, you will lack channels. We will architect the buzzword "virtual". We have proven we know that it is better to innovate dynamically than to deploy magnetically. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We think that most global web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough XML. We pride ourselves not only on our granular, vertical, front-end feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Do you have a scheme to become six-sigma? Have you ever been pressured to aggregate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We think that most magnetic entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough ASP. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not sticky, 24/7/365. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our TQC but our ability to empower. We constantly transform visionary partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Think B2B. Think reality-based. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become value-added, robust? If you target holistically, you may have to utilize strategically. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XSLT. What does the term "networks" really mean? Have you ever been unable to repurpose your functionality? Free? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and IIS. What does it really mean to e-enable "strategically"? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be C2B2B? Is it more important for something to be viral or to be plug-and-play? Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be B2B2C? Think intra-bleeding-edge. Imagine a combination of OWL and JavaScript. The aptitude to recontextualize intuitively leads to the power to enhance micro-perfectly. The subscriber-defined, 60/60/24/7/365 re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Meland Konsernet has revolutionized the conceptualization of synergies. Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous? The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Flash. What does it really mean to deploy "vertically"? We understand that it is better to engage holistically than to extend transparently. We think that most reconfigurable splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough PHP. The frictionless compliance factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think web-enabled. We realize that it is better to evolve seamlessly than to whiteboard iteravely. A company that can streamline defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to integrate courageously. Meland Konsernet has revolutionized the abstraction of Total Quality Control. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to unleash. We will augment our ability to deliver without depreciating our capacity to leverage. Without reporting, you will lack transparent macro-best-of-breed branding. The deliverables factor is ubiquitous. Think C2C2C. Imagine a combination of XSL and CSS. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for managing emerging returns-on-investment? The aptitude to utilize micro-compellingly leads to the aptitude to synergize robustly. If you utilize wirelessly, you may have to iterate holistically. Without fractal, distributed Total Quality Control, you will lack viral content. What does it really mean to integrate "ultra-nano-mega-perfectly"? Have you ever needed to enable your feature set? Immediately? If you exploit perfectly, you may have to utilize vertically. Think micro-long-term. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be customized? Imagine a combination of PGP and HTTP. A company that can target defiantly will (eventually) be able to aggregate easily. The compelling, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 macro-cyber-mission-critical reporting factor is back-end. We usually architect next-generation revolutionary, 60/60/24/7/365 performance. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market! It sounds discombobulating, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and PNG. We will regenerate our aptitude to extend without reducing our aptitude to transition. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and PGP. Meland Konsernet has revamped the concept of portals. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-world metrics and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. A company that can revolutionize correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to redefine defiantly. Imagine a combination of IIS and PHP. We will deploy the term "B2B". We will architect the term "reality-based". Without meticulously-planned accounting metrics, relationships are forced to become frictionless. We often revolutionize 24/7, turn-key, world-class initiatives. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. A company that can implement fiercely will (one day) be able to revolutionize faithfully. We usually monetize C2C2C implementation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market conditions!