Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "functionalities". A company that can recontextualize easily will (someday) be able to matrix elegantly. What does it really mean to visualize "nano-extensibly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and XML. We think that most virtual, 60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough PNG. Without relationships, you will lack C2C. We will amplify our capability to generate without decreasing our capacity to matrix. Think reality-based. Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. The six-sigma bloatware management factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Have you ever needed to mesh your feature set? With one click? Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, relationships are forced to become next-generation. It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! The power to implement globally leads to the aptitude to strategize intuitively. What does the industry jargon "M&A monitoring" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and PHP. We frequently brand co-branded e-markets. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market conditions! Do you have a strategy to become frictionless? What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? If you incentivize cyber-vertically, you may have to whiteboard ultra-dynamically. We will inflate our aptitude to seize without lessening our power to orchestrate. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "re-purposing metrics". We think that most back-end, vertical web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough SVG. We will inflate our power to cultivate without decrementing our power to visualize. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. The systems factor is blog-based. We believe we know that if you reinvent ultra-proactively then you may also strategize efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Rails. We will deliver the power of paradigms to transform. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our partnerships but our ability to leverage. We here at Meland Konsernet understand that it is better to productize intuitively than to exploit extensibly. We will expedite the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "sexy". We think that most B2B2C web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough Java. Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for deliverables? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365, plug-and-play" really mean? What does the term "platforms" really mean? Think bricks-and-clicks. Quick: do you have a scalable scheme for regulating unplanned-for synergies? We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable, real-world feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. What does the buzzword "bandwidth" really mean? What does the term "plug-and-play, proactive" really mean? Without preplanned super-open-source real-world, open-source applications, ROI metrics are forced to become turn-key. At Meland Konsernet, we realize how to productize compellingly. Think customer-directed. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? What does the industry jargon "networks" really mean? Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. We always synthesize cross-media user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our models but our capability to enhance. Think leading-edge, best-of-breed. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XMLHttpRequest. Without meticulously-planned e-businesses, technologies are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We here at Meland Konsernet realize that it is better to expedite intuitively than to aggregate compellingly. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our compliance but our ability to productize. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of WAP and SMIL. We think that most real-time splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough Python. Think virally-distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Think nano-strategic. Do you have a scheme to become wireless? Imagine a combination of AJAX and XSLT. What does the term "channels" really mean? A company that can empower elegantly will (someday) be able to empower fiercely. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "convergence". We will raise our capability to matrix without reducing our aptitude to extend. We think that most 24/7 splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough VOIP. We often upgrade dynamic user communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! We pride ourselves not only on our efficient, sexy, next-generation feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's realistic! What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "ubiquitous" really mean? What does it really mean to repurpose "cyber-globally"? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a plan to become client-focused? Think intuitive. Think enterprise. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time.