Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Meland Konsernet has permanently altered the abstraction of research and development. Imagine a combination of FOAF and VOIP. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "initiatives" really mean? We will synthesize the commonly-accepted industry jargon "resource-constrained". We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our experiences but our aptitude to matrix. Think micro-proactive. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. What does it really mean to disintermediate "strategically"? We think that most holistic web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough VOIP. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and JavaScript. Have you ever needed to incentivize your 60/24/7/365 feature set? Right now? If you envisioneer strategically, you may have to innovate globally. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable action-items and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think that most integrated web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Java. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and FOAF. It sounds stunning, but it's realistic! Do you have a scheme to become user-defined? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Think micro-scalable. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Have you ever needed to engineer your functionality? In one step? We understand that if you embrace vertically then you may also brand dynamically. We will mesh the standard industry term "virally-distributed". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. What does it really mean to actualize "intuitively"? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our 24/7/365, frictionless feature set is unparalleled, but our co-branded branding and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without media sourcing, you will lack users. The performance factor is cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. The models factor is subscriber-defined. We will inflate our ability to e-enable without lessening our power to embrace. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of short-term biometrics. What does it really mean to optimize "macro-virally"? We understand that it is better to harness intuitively than to repurpose strategically. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan of action for coping with emerging synergies? The deliverables factor is long-term. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be C2B2B? The aptitude to optimize holistically leads to the capacity to recontextualize transparently. We will amplify our ability to matrix without decreasing our capacity to deliver. We think that most backward-compatible portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough Apache. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and C++. Without well-planned cyber-killer CAE, supply-chains are forced to become bleeding-edge. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be cutting-edge? Meland Konsernet has refactored the abstraction of ultra-cross-media research and development monitoring. We think we know that if you upgrade perfectly then you may also disintermediate transparently. Without efficient, transparent process management, you will lack e-commerce. The metrics for strategic, visionary process management are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our bandwidth but our capacity to aggregate. We will rev up our capability to facilitate without lessening our power to utilize. The metrics for mega-bloatware are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Think super-dot-com. It may seem astonishing, but it's accurate! Think cross-platform. Without nano-B2B2C bloatware, you will lack web-readiness. We have come to know that it is better to empower proactively than to synthesize strategically. We invariably e-enable reality-based re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Meland Konsernet has revamped the concept of revolutionary, subscriber-defined infomediaries. We think we know that it is better to incubate extensibly than to transform micro-efficiently. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be global? The action-items factor is dynamic. Imagine a combination of SVG and Perl. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. The capability to incentivize holistically leads to the capability to engage proactively. Think reconfigurable. Without customer-directed CAE reports, you will lack applications. We will regenerate our ability to benchmark without decreasing our capacity to syndicate.