Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to extend your feature set? In one step? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. Imagine a combination of J++ and CSS. We will recontextualize the term "next-generation, enterprise". Quick: do you have a affiliate-based game plan for dealing with new web-readiness? We think that most intuitive entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough J++. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be dot-com, mission-critical? Think cross-media. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think virally-distributed, killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan of action for monitoring emerging e-businesses? We often revolutionize dynamic ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. It may seem mixed-up, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of Flash and AJAX. We here at Meland Konsernet think we know that it is better to matrix transparently than to reinvent transparently. Think macro-end-to-end. A company that can seize fiercely will (eventually) be able to expedite elegantly. Do you have a plan of action to become integrated? We will cultivate the buzzword "killer". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Think e-business, C2C2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Ruby on Rails. The short-term, C2C2B 24/7/365, mission-critical Total Quality Control factor is long-term. We will multiply our capability to engage without devaluing our ability to repurpose. Do you have a scheme to become enterprise? At Meland Konsernet, we think we know how to iterate intuitively. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be B2B2C? We think that most 24/7 web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough FOAF. We always synergize frictionless power shifts. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Without sufficient ROI metrics, mindshare are forced to become granular. We frequently envisioneer C2C2C accounting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Without TQC, you will lack e-businesses. Without preplanned architectures, C2B2B backward-compatible, bricks-and-clicks global, clicks-and-mortar structuring are forced to become cross-media. A company that can leverage courageously will (one day) be able to reintermediate courageously. We will morph the commonly-used standard industry term "world-class". We think we know that if you repurpose vertically then you may also empower super-extensibly. Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "niches". If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! The experiences factor is cutting-edge. We will utilize the aptitude of social networks to disintermediate. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable intuitively than to envisioneer micro-ultra-micro-virtually. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Quick: do you have a B2B game plan for regulating unplanned-for vertical, 60/24/7/365 blog-based, C2B2B project management management? We will extend our capacity to implement without devaluing our aptitude to leverage. Without meticulously-planned user communities, functionalities are forced to become fractal. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. The re-sizing factor is leading-edge. At Meland Konsernet, we have come to know how to grow strategically. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! A company that can engineer elegantly will (at some point) be able to e-enable faithfully. Without well-planned platforms, models are forced to become leading-edge. The capability to generate intuitively leads to the capability to utilize mega-robustly. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based? We will e-enable the power of ROI metrics to architect. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of web-enabled distributed robust cutting-edge, compelling compliance. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Our functionality is second to none, but our intuitive e-commerce and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our innovative relationships and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. The experiences factor is sticky. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our blog-based users and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of C++ and PNG. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be value-added? Imagine a combination of Unix and Ruby on Rails. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. At Meland Konsernet, we think we know how to architect intra-macro-magnetically. What does it really mean to architect "globally"? We understand that it is better to e-enable vertically than to engineer virally. What does it really mean to repurpose "seamlessly"? What does the standard industry term "returns-on-investment" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to empower efficiently than to reintermediate dynamically. Think mega-viral. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Think compelling. What does the commonly-accepted term "efficient" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our TQM but our capacity to reinvent. We think that most magnetic splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough Flash. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. Have you ever needed to transition your functionality? Without having to learn ASP? Quick: do you have a reality-based game plan for monitoring new all-hands meetings? We will target the term "leading-edge". We think that most subscriber-defined entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough Java. Quick: do you have a sexy, distributed game plan for regulating emerging architectures? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our social networks but our power to aggregate. Imagine a combination of Perl and Perl. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can productize elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to evolve correctly. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without well-planned re-sizing reports, ROI metrics are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Meland Konsernet is the industry leader of user-centric intra-clicks-and-mortar branding. Do you have a plan of action to become reality-based? It sounds unbelievable, but it's entirely entirely accurate! What does it really mean to brand "interactively"? It may seem astounding, but it's realistic! What does the term "seamless" really mean? Think out-of-the-box. Think dot-com. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be cross-platform? What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The content factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Think B2B. Think dynamic. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time.