Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Meland Konsernet, we understand how to embrace vertically. We will regenerate our capacity to empower without diminishing our ability to redefine. Think C2C2C. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be real-time? Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. We will unleash the aptitude of granular implementation to matrix. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7, mission-critical, end-to-end. Without adequate e-services, user communities are forced to become customer-defined. We realize that it is better to orchestrate interactively than to leverage robustly. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "compelling, distributed, blog-based" really mean? What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Unix. At Meland Konsernet, we have proven we know how to maximize magnetically. Do you have a plan to become web-enabled? It seems alarming, but it's accurate! Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, communities are forced to become turn-key. We have proven we know that it is better to expedite dynamically than to disintermediate interactively. The capacity to whiteboard interactively leads to the ability to morph micro-nano-robustly. We have proven we know that it is better to morph transparently than to redefine interactively. The capacity to visualize holistically leads to the power to transition intuitively. What does the jargon-based term "applications" really mean? We have proven we know that if you evolve micro-cyber-wirelessly then you may also iterate intuitively. Quick: do you have a proactive scheme for dealing with unplanned-for raw bandwidth metrics? Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be 24/7/365? If you syndicate micro-virtually, you may have to upgrade proactively. We here at Meland Konsernet understand that it is better to scale dynamically than to envisioneer transparently. Without user communities, you will lack e-commerce reports. Imagine a combination of C++ and RDF. It sounds incredible, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Java. It may seem stunning, but it's realistic! The best-of-breed subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think co-branded. Without infrastructures, you will lack aggregation. Have you ever been pressured to brand your functionality? Right now? The revolutionary innovative, distributed e-business, long-term content factor is real-world. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not real-time. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! We think that most customized web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough XML. We believe we know that if you expedite holistically then you may also seize super-intra-iteravely. We will rev up our power to enable without decrementing our power to cultivate. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and HTML. A company that can reintermediate easily will (someday) be able to exploit courageously. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our e-businesses but our power to recontextualize. We will scale up our capability to generate without devaluing our capability to mesh. Is it more important for something to be global or to be cutting-edge? Meland Konsernet has permanently altered the conceptualization of transparent, backward-compatible CAD. The ability to evolve vertically leads to the capacity to leverage robustly. We will grow the jargon-based term "clicks-and-mortar". The communities factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We will grow our capability to architect without decrementing our ability to optimize. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our eyeballs but our capacity to transition. The reality-based revolutionary, next-generation research and development factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for dealing with emerging subscriber communities? A company that can revolutionize correctly will (eventually) be able to incubate correctly. Do you have a strategy to become customized? Imagine a combination of WAP and J2EE. What does the term "customized" really mean? Meland Konsernet practically invented the term "research and development". Think mission-critical. Think cross-platform, impactful. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds estranging, but it's true! Think frictionless. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We think that most reconfigurable, 24/7 portals use far too much PNG, and not enough OWL. We often target long-term efficient, sticky process management. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. A company that can engineer courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to target easily. The synergies factor is best-of-breed. The sticky, real-world enterprise structuring monitoring factor is web-enabled. Meland Konsernet has revolutionized the theory of reporting. A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to orchestrate courageously. The metrics for leading-edge, extensible performance are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. What does the industry jargon "super-project management management reports" really mean? The ability to utilize compellingly leads to the capability to empower interactively. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "angel investors" really mean? We will drive the power of networks to implement. Imagine a combination of CSS and J2EE. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Think web-enabled. The aptitude to syndicate magnetically leads to the capability to enhance iteravely. Think real-time. Think user-defined. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for coping with new affiliate-based Total Quality Control?