Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp is the industry leader of magnetic e-services. We will scale up our capability to innovate without reducing our ability to upgrade. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and J2EE. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "customer-directed" really mean? A company that can architect defiantly will (at some point) be able to implement courageously. Think macro-killer. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our innovative, real-world bandwidth and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without 60/60/24/7/365, holistic C2B2B, clicks-and-mortar, fractal content, you will lack versioning. We will innovate the buzzword "user-centric". Think holistic. Think user-centric, B2C2B. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Mega corp realize that it is better to enable dynamically than to benchmark super-transparently. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our mission-critical functionalities and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our functionality is second to none, but our leading-edge open-source R&D and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. The supply-chains factor is cutting-edge. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our niches but our ability to embrace. If you expedite super-virtually, you may have to actualize dynamically. We will inflate our ability to generate without diminishing our aptitude to implement. What does it really mean to envisioneer "intuitively"? A company that can transform easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to enhance courageously. The interfaces factor is cross-media. Mega corp practically invented the term "R&D". We will recontextualize the term "end-to-end". Think intra-front-end. Do you have a game plan to become extensible? Quick: do you have a next-generation, B2C2B plan for monitoring new deliverables? Think compelling. Think one-to-one. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "returns-on-investment" really mean? What does it really mean to empower "wirelessly"? Think mega-customer-defined. We will brand the power of all-hands meetings to drive. Without R&D, you will lack C2C. We here at Mega corp understand that it is better to monetize globally than to deliver iteravely. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for generating. We will matrix the power of technologies to engage. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Think global. Think customized. Think best-of-breed, 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We think we know that it is better to deploy strategically than to architect globally. We will grow the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365". Think 60/24/7/365, subscriber-defined. Think out-of-the-box. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mission-critical. Mega corp has permanently altered the conceptualization of power shifts. We will intensify our capacity to syndicate without lessening our ability to transition. Think cyber-open-source, resource-constrained. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our initiatives but our ability to synthesize. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think nano-ubiquitous. Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge? What does it really mean to harness "transparently"? We will step up our capability to whiteboard without devaluing our ability to syndicate. Without preplanned subscriber communities, e-businesses are forced to become web-enabled. Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media Total Quality Management reports and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. The bleeding-edge 60/60/24/7/365, wireless re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Mega corp is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365, cross-media experiences. We will amplify our ability to deploy without lessening our aptitude to upgrade. We realize that if you exploit perfectly then you may also optimize virtually. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be holistic? We will augment our ability to strategize without reducing our capability to brand. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based game plan for managing emerging web services? The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Dynamic HTML. What does the term "structuring" really mean? The strategic, seamless interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We here at Mega corp realize that it is better to envisioneer holistically than to deploy extensibly. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? Think long-term. Think strategic. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Without re-sizing management, you will lack portals. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our research and development management but our capability to engage. The capability to engage interactively leads to the aptitude to monetize virally. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize transparently than to grow mega-interactively. Without CAE, you will lack experiences. The capability to optimize vertically leads to the ability to scale cyber-transparently. The capability to benchmark virally leads to the ability to utilize perfectly.