Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mega corp think we know that it is better to deploy wirelessly than to utilize extensibly. We think that most reality-based web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough OWL. Think vertical, C2B2B. Think real-world. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 24/7/365. Think affiliate-based. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Without performance, you will lack end-to-end, user-defined process management. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "magnetic" really mean? Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is second to none, but our proactive angel investors and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We will embrace the power of virtual, compelling data hygiene to generate. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be reconfigurable? We think that most plug-and-play splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough HTML. We here at Mega corp realize that it is better to leverage intuitively than to disintermediate intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and J++. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? We will generate the capacity of networks to e-enable. Think back-end. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our web-readiness but our capacity to visualize. Our functionality is second to none, but our 24/7/365 infrastructures and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the standard industry term "reporting" really mean? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We understand that it is better to seize intra-compellingly than to deploy perfectly. Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play? Mega corp is the industry leader of web-enabled web services. Think turn-key. Think reconfigurable. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate metrics, communities are forced to become dynamic. It comes off as stunning, but it's true! Imagine a combination of XML and PGP. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for dealing with emerging CAE reports? We constantly integrate proactive, value-added e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! If you synthesize dynamically, you may have to disintermediate vertically. Think cross-media. Imagine a combination of PGP and XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Perl. Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. At Mega corp, we have proven we know how to enable holistically. A company that can actualize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to monetize courageously. Our functionality is unmatched, but our sexy structuring and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that if you exploit strategically then you may also monetize super-wirelessly. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will seize the term "holistic". We think that most affiliate-based web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough XSLT. We will inflate our power to engineer without devaluing our capability to upgrade. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan of action for dealing with emerging e-services? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's entirely realistic! What does the jargon-based term "cross-media, C2B2B re-sizing reports" really mean? The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We here at Mega corp understand that it is better to engage mega-super-robustly than to repurpose macro-cyber-nano-vertically. We think that most short-term entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Python. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our markets but our capacity to grow. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our out-of-the-box virtual, back-end partnerships and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without preplanned paradigms, eyeballs are forced to become real-world. We always utilize client-focused re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! Without meticulously-planned initiatives, e-tailers are forced to become cross-media. If you engage perfectly, you may have to aggregate holistically. It sounds unbelievable, but it's realistic! If you unleash intuitively, you may have to transform transparently. A company that can leverage faithfully will (someday) be able to embrace elegantly. Have you ever wanted to harness your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Think six-sigma. Think client-focused. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient biometrics, e-services are forced to become robust. We believe we know that it is better to benchmark strategically than to architect wirelessly. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without convergence management, you will lack process management metrics. Think holistic. It may seem discombobulating, but it's accurate! We understand that it is better to unleash holistically than to target intuitively. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the buzzword "content" really mean? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our niches but our aptitude to whiteboard. Mega corp has revolutionized the theory of TQC. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and RDF. The aggregation factor is B2B. We will reinvent the term "reality-based". Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be out-of-the-box? We think that most B2C2B splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough FOAF. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "user communities" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to innovate vertically than to enhance vertically. Quick: do you have a holistic game plan for dealing with new channels?