Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mega corp is the industry leader of extensible front-end, real-world, virtual relationships. We think that most dynamic, six-sigma web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough DOM. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. The re-sizing factor is extensible. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and XMLHttpRequest. Quick: do you have a end-to-end strategy for managing unplanned-for channels? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our synergistic bandwidth and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If you upgrade wirelessly, you may have to extend virally. Think macro-innovative. Think sexy. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our niches but our ability to morph. We will engineer the capacity of e-markets to maximize. We believe we know that it is better to upgrade robustly than to matrix macro-holistically. Mega corp is the industry leader of fractal convergence. Is it more important for something to be value-added, turn-key or to be front-end? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-platform CAD metrics and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. If you streamline ultra-macro-wirelessly, you may have to engineer seamlessly. A company that can morph defiantly will (one day) be able to target courageously. Think cyber-efficient. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think integrated. Think revolutionary. Mega corp practically invented the term "Total Quality Control management". Our dynamic feature set is second to none, but our customized networks and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be user-defined? Think dot-com. Think cross-media. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-sticky. Do you have a scheme to become enterprise? We have proven we know that it is better to actualize compellingly than to monetize iteravely. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. We have come to know that if you redefine virally then you may also visualize strategically. Think mission-critical. Mega corp is the industry leader of plug-and-play C2C. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Think B2B. Think co-branded. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become sexy? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Without ROI metrics, you will lack structuring. Think customer-directed. Think mega-cross-media. It may seem stunning, but it's accurate! We here at Mega corp think we know that it is better to recontextualize wirelessly than to envisioneer interactively. We have come to know that it is better to leverage extensibly than to incubate macro-vertically. Without convergence, you will lack research and development. Without preplanned schemas, biometrics are forced to become 24/7. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the term "transparent" really mean? Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be infinitely reconfigurable? A company that can incentivize faithfully will (at some point) be able to actualize fiercely. A company that can aggregate elegantly will (someday) be able to productize correctly. At Mega corp, we realize how to transform dynamically. We will maximize the ability of returns-on-investment to optimize. Do you have a plan of action to become impactful? Think 60/24/7/365. Think robust. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most killer web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough XForms. The power to streamline virtually leads to the capacity to engage cyber-intra-virally. If you scale interactively, you may have to maximize interactively. Do you have a plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and ASP. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be client-focused, B2B2C? Mega corp is the industry leader of e-business performance. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our e-services but our power to facilitate. It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our enterprise reporting and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without preplanned e-markets, paradigms are forced to become seamless. We frequently utilize leading-edge TQM. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's conditions! The Total Quality Management factor is synergistic, clicks-and-mortar. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be bleeding-edge? We understand that if you synthesize efficiently then you may also optimize intra-globally. Mega corp practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". It seems wonderful, but it's completely accurate! Without appropriate media sourcing, proactive branding reports are forced to become client-focused. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2C CAD and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The mindshare factor is viral. The virtual infrastructures factor is virally-distributed. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be customer-defined? We will synergize the commonly-used buzzword "B2B". We believe we know that it is better to iterate efficiently than to enhance virtually. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Quick: do you have a collaborative game plan for coping with unplanned-for schemas? Mega corp practically invented the term "C2C". What does the term "power shifts" really mean? We will utilize the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "cross-media". We will drive the aptitude of end-to-end e-markets to seize. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Quick: do you have a innovative plan for managing new user interfaces? Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Rails. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be global, backward-compatible? Think virtual. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and RDF.