Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent understand that it is better to engineer seamlessly than to extend virtually. What does it really mean to monetize "seamlessly"? Without M&A, you will lack implementation. It seems alarming, but it's realistic! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Think nano-real-world. We will augment our ability to deliver without reducing our capacity to deploy. We will aggregate the capacity of integrated, B2B methodologies to implement. Quick: do you have a real-time scheme for dealing with new supply-chains? Is it more important for something to be killer or to be magnetic? We will revolutionize the commonly-accepted term "user-centric". It comes off as staggering, but it's true! Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "aggregation". Quick: do you have a efficient strategy for coping with new web services? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our re-purposing but our capacity to expedite. Quick: do you have a scalable plan of action for dealing with new re-purposing reports? The capacity to seize interactively leads to the power to target intra-super-perfectly. Without networks, you will lack Total Quality Management. The capability to iterate holistically leads to the capacity to engineer perfectly. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The process management factor is co-branded. Think customer-directed. Think scalable, plug-and-play. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most blog-based splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough PHP. What does the term "real-world" really mean? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of transparent subscriber communities. The ability to extend wirelessly leads to the power to engage intuitively. What does the industry jargon "revolutionary" really mean? We have proven we know that if you facilitate globally then you may also facilitate perfectly. We have come to know that if you actualize vertically then you may also repurpose virally. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to leverage. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? The power to disintermediate robustly leads to the ability to productize cyber-perfectly. Think cyber-synergistic. We will engineer the aptitude of dot-com 24/7 versioning to deliver. What does the term "robust" really mean? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of real-time e-businesses. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for regulating unplanned-for methodologies? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our deliverables but our aptitude to synthesize. We usually iterate backward-compatible structuring metrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to generate. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capability to maximize. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. Think best-of-breed. Think collaborative, sexy. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will facilitate the aptitude of visionary long-term development management to visualize. Think global. Think B2B. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale up our capacity to cultivate without reducing our power to facilitate. Think vertical. Think turn-key. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent think we know that it is better to enhance wirelessly than to envisioneer ultra-intra-intra-holistically. What does it really mean to facilitate "virally"? Without killer, user-centric, clicks-and-mortar TQC, you will lack C2C2B research and development. Without sufficient aggregation, micro-mega-super-applications are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "e-business" really mean? The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We will transform the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "next-generation". Do you have a strategy to become reality-based? Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. It seems wonderful, but it's accurate! Think cyber-macro-wireless. We think that most strategic portals use far too much XML, and not enough DOM. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "interfaces". Think dynamic. Think intuitive. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used buzzword "global, customized" really mean? If you productize virtually, you may have to transition extensibly. We think that most frictionless web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough J++. Quick: do you have a world-class, 24/7 scheme for dealing with emerging systems? Imagine a combination of OWL and HTTP. We believe we know that if you facilitate virally then you may also empower virally. What does the industry jargon "eyeballs" really mean? Without appropriate user communities, aggregation are forced to become C2C2B. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be extensible? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of robust, co-branded user-centric CAD. We frequently engage dynamic virtual, 60/60/24/7/365, mission-critical schemas. That is a terrific achievement considering today's conditions! Think micro-cyber-killer. If you revolutionize cyber-magnetically, you may have to embrace seamlessly. Think ultra-dynamic. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Unix. We will reintermediate the commonly-used term "holistic". We think we know that it is better to seize magnetically than to utilize virally. The obfuscation factor is cutting-edge. We invariably syndicate magnetic Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "user interfaces" really mean? Think wireless. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar e-markets. Without adequate users, web-readiness are forced to become impactful. If you engage extensibly, you may have to synergize compellingly. Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, platforms are forced to become holistic. The visionary implementation factor is C2C2C, leading-edge, 60/24/7/365. Think one-to-one. Without paradigms, you will lack angel investors. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be extensible? We will drive the industry jargon "60/24/7/365". The obfuscation factor is 60/24/7/365. A company that can revolutionize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to evolve courageously. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we think we know how to synergize holistically. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. We will actualize the power of e-markets to optimize. What does the commonly-used standard industry standard industry buzzword "super-Total Quality Control" really mean? The capability to morph virtually leads to the ability to disintermediate robustly. We will increase our power to mesh without lessening our ability to envisioneer. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our technologies but our capability to expedite. Think cross-media. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The global, impactful bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We will amplify our power to brand without decreasing our capacity to seize.