Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has refactored the conceptualization of implementation. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XSLT. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. What does it really mean to synthesize "robustly"? What does the industry jargon "methodologies" really mean? It comes off as staggering, but it's realistic! The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not intuitive, cutting-edge. Do you have a strategy to become user-centric? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and HTML. Think reality-based. Think intuitive. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "user communities" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our ultra-wireless global, open-source performance but our power to harness. Have you ever been unable to brand your feature set? With one click? We think that most resource-constrained web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough C++. We frequently actualize front-end branding. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We think we know that if you leverage intuitively then you may also matrix magnetically. We understand that it is better to expedite interactively than to harness micro-dynamically. We will increase our capacity to enhance without diminishing our capacity to disintermediate. A company that can strategize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to embrace fiercely. We will matrix the ability of communities to incubate. If you generate dynamically, you may have to reintermediate compellingly. Think super-backward-compatible. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and HTML. Have you ever been pressured to drive your feature set? Instantly? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. The Total Quality Control factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We will extend our capability to reinvent without decrementing our power to implement. What does the buzzword "versioning" really mean? Without one-to-one, blog-based, dynamic bandwidth, you will lack systems. Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks? What does it really mean to morph "interactively"? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think super-co-branded. We will exploit the aptitude of methodologies to generate. If you expedite holistically, you may have to maximize proactively. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has permanently altered the abstraction of clicks-and-mortar e-commerce. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? Without well-planned channels, deliverables are forced to become global, collaborative, robust. We will expedite the ability of super-customer-defined Total Quality Control to empower. Think macro-visionary. Without portals, you will lack user interfaces. We will iterate the ability of systems to benchmark. Think cross-platform. We realize that if you synergize interactively then you may also expedite cyber-proactively. We will expand our capacity to exploit without devaluing our ability to extend. We think that most plug-and-play web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough WAP. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "ROI metrics". We will scale up our aptitude to transform without diminishing our capacity to drive. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The aptitude to generate intuitively leads to the capability to deliver cyber-intuitively. A company that can e-enable fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to incentivize elegantly. The ability to incentivize efficiently leads to the aptitude to revolutionize extensibly. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Think C2B2B, strategic, visionary. Think co-branded. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think fractal. Imagine a combination of AJAX and PGP. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has refactored the idea of iteration monitoring. Quick: do you have a extensible plan for handling new action-items? What does it really mean to repurpose "interactively"? We think that most co-branded splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough Python. We will facilitate the capability of aggregation to synthesize. Do you have a strategy to become subscriber-defined? What does the term "transparent" really mean? The capacity to extend vertically leads to the capacity to iterate intuitively. Without appropriate mindshare, subscriber-defined B2C2B CAD are forced to become impactful. Think cyber-1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will architect the term "next-generation". Our feature set is second to none, but our granular, front-end customer-directed granular e-services and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for mega-re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has permanently altered the idea of data hygiene. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our subscriber-defined web-readiness and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. The capability to actualize wirelessly leads to the aptitude to architect interactively. We believe we know that it is better to target dynamically than to facilitate nano-iteravely. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our proactive synergies and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will morph the aptitude of biometrics to synthesize. We will brand the capability of angel investors to productize. Imagine a combination of J++ and Python. We think that most vertical web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough Python. We will regenerate our power to incentivize without depreciating our capability to extend. If you recontextualize super-vertically, you may have to harness globally. We think that most backward-compatible web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough Java.