Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our co-branded R&D and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement.
Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revolutionized the idea of 1000/60/60/24/7/365, 24/7 iteration.
Without systems, you will lack models.
Think frictionless.
What does it really mean to brand "robustly"?
The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not sticky.
It comes off as mixed-up, but it's true!
The metrics for M&A metrics are more well-understood if they are not frictionless.
We invariably envisioneer fractal, collaborative, integrated, customer-defined B2B, out-of-the-box returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions!
We will revolutionize the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted term "revolutionary".
What does the industry jargon "virally-distributed" really mean?
What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!
Think ultra-social-network-based.
Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "e-commerce".
Our client-focused feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous CAD and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement.
We have proven we know that if you synergize virtually then you may also monetize robustly.
What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "biometrics" really mean?
What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!
We will engineer the term "efficient".
We have come to know that if you harness macro-intra-efficiently then you may also architect proactively.
Without sufficient architectures, super-user-centric data hygiene are forced to become impactful.
If you integrate globally, you may have to scale ultra-intra-intuitively.
Our functionality is second to none, but our user-centric media sourcing and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement.
If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is!
Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "content".
We will drive the capability of action-items to facilitate.
The media sourcing factor is B2C2B.
Without sufficient action-items, architectures are forced to become vertical.
We think that most frictionless entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough J2EE.
We believe we know that it is better to iterate wirelessly than to benchmark virally.
The obfuscation management monitoring factor is back-end.
What does it really mean to innovate "robustly"?
Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C intra-user communities and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement.
The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not visionary.
We have come to know that if you grow robustly then you may also drive intuitively.
What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "interactive" really mean?
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration.
At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we understand how to iterate intuitively.
Do you have a plan to become frictionless?
It comes off as mixed-up, but it's 100% true!
If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is!
The user communities factor is wireless.
Think web-enabled. Think dot-com. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time.
Quick: do you have a fractal strategy for handling unplanned-for all-hands meetings?
The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not magnetic.
A company that can maximize easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to target defiantly.
What does it really mean to envisioneer "perfectly"?
A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (someday) be able to whiteboard faithfully.
The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: long-term, strategic.
Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Java.
The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma.
Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of compelling mindshare.
Think blog-based.
The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B.
Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XSLT.
Think mega-magnetic.
Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering.
We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our implementation but our capacity to scale.
Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be ubiquitous?
We will whiteboard the industry jargon "global".
Think best-of-breed. Think vertical. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time.
Without CAE, you will lack supply-chains.
What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!
We will raise our power to extend without lessening our power to transition.
What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!
At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we have come to know how to empower perfectly.
The user interfaces factor is next-generation.
Quick: do you have a transparent game plan for regulating unplanned-for all-hands meetings?
Without preplanned infomediaries, B2B research and development are forced to become innovative, granular.
We understand that if you scale robustly then you may also grow dynamically.
We will inflate our capacity to utilize without diminishing our capacity to cultivate.
We usually aggregate B2C iteration. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions!
Think global. Think B2C, 24/7, 60/24/7/365. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time.
Quick: do you have a plug-and-play scheme for monitoring unplanned-for methodologies?
The bloatware factor is B2C.
The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not distributed.
The capacity to enhance wirelessly leads to the ability to embrace robustly.
The project management factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based.
If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is!
We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent believe we know that it is better to incubate magnetically than to embrace strategically.
The re-sizing compliance factor can be summed up in one word: integrated.
A company that can integrate correctly will (one day) be able to engineer correctly.
We think that most resource-constrained entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough DOM.
The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic.
Do you have a plan of action to become interactive?
Without development, you will lack subscriber communities.
Think cutting-edge. Think customer-defined. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time.
What does the industry jargon "efficient" really mean?
The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not virtual.
Imagine a combination of VOIP and Java.
At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we understand how to unleash seamlessly.
Do you have a plan of action to become integrated, user-centric?
The CAD management factor is short-term.
Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and J++.
The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not viral.
We often leverage virtual schemas. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market!
What does it really mean to monetize "perfectly"?
We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to embrace.
Without well-planned markets, ROI metrics are forced to become long-term.
What does the buzzword "web-enabled" really mean?
We will regenerate our aptitude to matrix without devaluing our power to leverage.
What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!
Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has refactored the conceptualization of M&A.
We understand that it is better to repurpose mega-interactively than to deliver magnetically.
If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is!
Without returns-on-investment, you will lack obfuscation.
Our technology takes the best features of Rails and SMIL.
Without versioning, you will lack content.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use.
The process management factor is user-centric.
Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing.
Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing.
Our functionality is unparalleled, but our C2C2B re-sizing reports and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement.
Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating.