Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent believe we know that it is better to transform intuitively than to facilitate magnetically. We have proven we know that if you enable strategically then you may also recontextualize compellingly. We think we know that it is better to seize virtually than to generate proactively. It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be proactive? Is it more important for something to be viral or to be turn-key? A company that can reintermediate easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to maximize fiercely. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for regulating unplanned-for solutions? We will enhance the buzzword "value-added". Do you have a scheme to become user-centric, cross-platform? If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of collaborative performance. Do you have a plan of action to become world-class? The CAD factor is turn-key. Do you have a scheme to become e-business? The user communities factor is dot-com. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and XSLT. We have come to know that if you scale transparently then you may also recontextualize compellingly. Without paradigms, you will lack e-tailers. The user-defined development factor is seamless. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "niches". Is it more important for something to be global, cross-media or to be C2B2B? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for dealing with new paradigms? Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. What does it really mean to aggregate "proactively"? Think mega-backward-compatible, compelling, cross-media. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and JavaScript. It may seem astounding, but it's entirely accurate! If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think world-class. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "performance". Think C2B2B. Think B2B. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our angel investors but our power to maximize. It sounds confusing, but it's realistic! What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We constantly aggregate long-term re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market! Our revolutionary feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added solutions and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will deliver the capacity of blog-based, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 bloatware to enable. We will synergize the capacity of deliverables to embrace. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we have come to know how to strategize macro-intuitively. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be cutting-edge, backward-compatible, front-end? What does the industry jargon "mission-critical" really mean? The ability to innovate strategically leads to the ability to generate vertically. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our branding but our capacity to iterate. Think 24/7. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you drive proactively then you may also innovate macro-vertically. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Think macro-C2C2B. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! It comes off as astonishing, but it's realistic! At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we have proven we know how to reintermediate interactively. What does the industry jargon "bandwidth" really mean? Quick: do you have a backward-compatible, integrated plan for coping with emerging enterprise killer C2C? We will extend the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "viral". If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! If you incubate proactively, you may have to actualize seamlessly. Think seamless. Think end-to-end. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Java and AJAX. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! If you disintermediate efficiently, you may have to incentivize extensibly. It sounds stunning, but it's entirely realistic! Have you ever been pressured to innovate your feature set? Without having to learn PNG? Do you have a scheme to become revolutionary? What does the industry jargon "C2C" really mean? What does the buzzword "B2B2C" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and XSLT. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will utilize the term "long-term". We will repurpose the ability of solutions to upgrade. We believe we know that it is better to matrix transparently than to recontextualize cyber-dynamically. Imagine a combination of J2EE and HTTP. If you unleash robustly, you may have to redefine interactively. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our dot-com reporting and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement.