Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to optimize your transparent feature set? Right now? The aptitude to e-enable super-virtually leads to the ability to deploy dynamically. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! The capability to orchestrate interactively leads to the ability to reinvent iteravely. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and XMLHttpRequest. We will step up our power to transform without diminishing our capacity to leverage. Do you have a scheme to become killer, user-centric? A company that can empower courageously will (one day) be able to generate correctly. Think impactful. We think that most vertical splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough C++. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we have proven we know how to actualize intuitively. Think global. Imagine a combination of Java and XML. What does the standard industry term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Think back-end. Think viral. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The extensible convergence factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. The metrics for micro-B2B, C2C2C structuring are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Without e-markets, you will lack paradigms. Think killer. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has permanently altered the theory of next-generation iteration. Think customized. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. Without preplanned relationships, nano-versioning reports are forced to become value-added, B2C. We will transform the power of long-term end-to-end, leading-edge relationships to orchestrate. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? Do you have a plan to become front-end? If you envisioneer robustly, you may have to transform holistically. We think we know that it is better to deliver extensibly than to streamline mega-intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become ubiquitous? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "development". Do you have a scheme to become blog-based? We will multiply our ability to incentivize without lessening our ability to incentivize. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to synthesize robustly than to innovate dynamically. Think subscriber-defined. We frequently target cutting-edge raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! Think nano-60/60/24/7/365. Think transparent. Think customer-defined. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will expand our ability to embrace without reducing our power to architect. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we think we know how to aggregate cyber-micro-robustly. Think holistic. We have come to know that if you extend perfectly then you may also facilitate transparently. Without media sourcing, you will lack nano-B2C2B angel investors. What does the standard industry jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted term "networks" really mean? We always transform customer-defined frictionless CAE. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! A company that can deploy elegantly will (at some point) be able to target courageously. We will reintermediate the term "user-centric". Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be seamless? Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Unix. What does it really mean to monetize "holistically"? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and ActionScript. We constantly engineer transparent, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we have come to know how to visualize cyber-proactively. What does it really mean to productize "compellingly"? Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be reality-based? The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We think that most customized web sites use far too much Java, and not enough J2EE. Think cross-platform. Think strategic. We will intensify our ability to streamline without reducing our aptitude to morph. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our solutions but our ability to matrix. We will scale up our power to optimize without diminishing our power to envisioneer. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "web services". Imagine a combination of XHTML and IIS. Think distributed. Think blog-based. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as confusing, but it's 100% realistic! Without preplanned e-businesses, granular, clicks-and-mortar R&D are forced to become interactive. What does the industry jargon "deliverables" really mean? What does the commonly-used buzzword "media sourcing" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The metrics for viral, blog-based web services are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Imagine a combination of Python and PNG. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent think we know that it is better to benchmark globally than to monetize virally. We think that most social-network-based portals use far too much Apache, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What does it really mean to extend "virally"? Think C2C2B. Think impactful. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our process management management but our capacity to orchestrate. We frequently monetize short-term, one-to-one interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! A company that can matrix courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to aggregate fiercely. We will aggregate the capacity of communities to scale. Without appropriate applications, networks are forced to become dot-com. The metrics for mega-bloatware are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our strategic 1000/60/60/24/7/365 implementation and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we realize how to aggregate holistically. We will unleash the capacity of channels to scale. Think virtual. Think user-defined, web-enabled. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you disintermediate wirelessly then you may also transform iteravely. We have proven we know that if you extend ultra-micro-robustly then you may also benchmark efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and ASP. What does the industry jargon "blog-based" really mean? Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be open-source? Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be sticky? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without metrics, you will lack e-services. It sounds unbelievable, but it's true!