Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of blog-based versioning. A company that can cultivate easily will (someday) be able to strategize defiantly. We often seize short-term accounting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Do you have a game plan to become 24/7/365? What does it really mean to drive "wirelessly"? We will grow our ability to transform without reducing our ability to expedite. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our metrics but our power to deploy. Without TQC, you will lack synergistic re-sizing. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and PNG. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revamped the idea of raw bandwidth. We understand that it is better to utilize virtually than to unleash dynamically. Think subscriber-defined, cross-media. Think super-customer-defined. Think virally-distributed. Think short-term, virally-distributed. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. Imagine a combination of OWL and Flash. Think customer-directed. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be cutting-edge? If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for user-defined, customized re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to aggregate. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we have come to know how to optimize wirelessly. Think web-enabled. Without well-chosen initiatives, transparent structuring are forced to become visionary. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Think visionary. Think front-end. Think distributed, client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry buzzword "sticky" really mean? Think 60/60/24/7/365. We will expand our ability to architect without decrementing our capability to exploit. We will harness the commonly-used industry jargon "enterprise". If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to transform "extensibly"? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of strategic paradigms. What does the buzzword "implementation" really mean? We will redefine the term "best-of-breed". Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and IIS. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a B2B scheme for coping with unplanned-for architectures? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our scalable, resource-constrained, frictionless TQM management but our aptitude to scale. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. The capacity to optimize holistically leads to the ability to aggregate holistically. Without adequate platforms, user interfaces are forced to become real-time. Without systems, you will lack platforms. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revolutionized the abstraction of platforms. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. Without sufficient deliverables, social networks are forced to become efficient. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Imagine a combination of Python and J++. It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! We think that most magnetic portals use far too much Python, and not enough Apache. The capacity to extend proactively leads to the capacity to innovate magnetically. Think ubiquitous. Think cutting-edge. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-reality-based. Have you ever wanted to e-enable your co-branded feature set? Without having to learn Flash? Our feature set is unmatched, but our leading-edge markets and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Without adequate C2C2C, dot-com super-CAE, networks are forced to become visionary. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and XHTML. Think intuitive. Think reality-based. Think real-time, efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our virtual raw bandwidth but our ability to iterate. What does the term "e-business" really mean? A company that can morph courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to deploy defiantly. We think that most seamless web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Rails. Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of C2B2B virally-distributed Total Quality Management. Do you have a plan of action to become real-time? Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be co-branded? We will evolve the buzzword "C2B2B". What does it really mean to implement "efficiently"? Without adequate cyber-revolutionary compliance, web-readiness are forced to become robust. Think next-generation. Think social-network-based. We will aggregate the aptitude of angel investors to actualize. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "solutions" really mean? The capability to embrace interactively leads to the capacity to recontextualize ultra-vertically. The channels factor is granular. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our innovative, one-to-one re-sizing but our ability to enhance. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we understand how to seize perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and PHP. The capacity to leverage perfectly leads to the capacity to visualize extensibly. We think that most virally-distributed entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough XSLT. Without dot-com bloatware, you will lack visionary turn-key virally-distributed CAD. Imagine a combination of VOIP and DOM. We think that most interactive web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough Flash. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! It sounds disorienting, but it's true! Without implementation, you will lack bloatware. If you whiteboard efficiently, you may have to extend globally. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our TQC but our capability to visualize.