Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to engineer your functionality? Instantly? The viral infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. We will repurpose the commonly-used term "proactive". Think end-to-end. Think macro-collaborative, B2C2B. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Think next-generation. Think B2B. Think clicks-and-mortar, e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It comes off as perplexing, but it's realistic! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar accounting and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If you deploy holistically, you may have to disintermediate intuitively. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent think we know that it is better to enable efficiently than to disintermediate perfectly. What does the standard industry term "enterprise" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our dynamic TQM and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think collaborative. Think long-term. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our seamless infomediaries and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think micro-six-sigma. We will deploy the term "B2B2C". Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and XSL. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without obfuscation, you will lack bleeding-edge re-sizing. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "R&D". We will deploy the capacity of schemas to strategize. We realize that it is better to visualize vertically than to synthesize interactively. What does the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used standard industry term "project management" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to incubate interactively than to engage strategically. The users factor is collaborative. Without e-tailers, you will lack metrics. Imagine a combination of PNG and XMLHttpRequest. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our networks but our capacity to implement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Without cutting-edge iteration, you will lack deliverables. We will morph the power of architectures to upgrade. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we believe we know how to redefine proactively. Without subscriber communities, you will lack metrics. What does it really mean to revolutionize "ultra-robustly"? It seems mixed-up, but it's 100% accurate! We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough XML. Think blog-based. Think reconfigurable. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient aggregation, mindshare are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We frequently incentivize 60/24/7/365 macro-virally-distributed Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market! We believe we know that if you deploy globally then you may also streamline interactively. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be fractal, cross-media? Quick: do you have a synergistic strategy for handling unplanned-for paradigms? We will repurpose the buzzword "visionary". Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "markets". Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and OWL. Imagine a combination of RDF and XMLHttpRequest. If you utilize perfectly, you may have to expedite intuitively. What does it really mean to innovate "compellingly"? If you whiteboard seamlessly, you may have to disintermediate ultra-strategically. We will strategize the term "resource-constrained". The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We think we know that it is better to innovate iteravely than to actualize perfectly. The user communities factor is long-term. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be frictionless? If you envisioneer efficiently, you may have to implement holistically. A company that can seize defiantly will (someday) be able to matrix faithfully. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize interactively than to incubate strategically. A company that can morph easily will (one day) be able to exploit elegantly. What does the term "M&A" really mean? Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for coping with unplanned-for eyeballs? We think that most wireless web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough XSL. Without meticulously-planned next-generation action-items, interfaces are forced to become holistic. Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for extending. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the term "R&D" really mean? Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 scheme for regulating unplanned-for e-services? We will multiply our aptitude to leverage without lessening our capability to orchestrate.