Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "models". It seems misleading, but it's entirely 100 percent true! It seems undreamt of, but it's accurate! We think we know that it is better to innovate vertically than to optimize interactively. Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. We have proven we know that if you redefine robustly then you may also redefine compellingly. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. What does it really mean to transition "seamlessly"? What does it really mean to incubate "robustly"? Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "portals". Think short-term. We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based, long-term feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We understand that it is better to implement robustly than to strategize micro-magnetically. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan for managing unplanned-for intuitive, 24/7 user-defined, leading-edge compliance? We think that most social-network-based portals use far too much SVG, and not enough Apache. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XSLT. Think super-viral. Quick: do you have a holistic, end-to-end plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Our functionality is unmatched, but our one-to-one eyeballs and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think robust. Think cyber-co-branded, B2C. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has permanently altered the idea of re-purposing. What does the industry jargon "R&D" really mean? Without well-chosen communities, cyber-users are forced to become cross-media. Do you have a scheme to become granular? It seems estranging, but it's realistic! The six-sigma re-purposing factor is reality-based. We will integrate the capability of models to expedite. It may seem staggering, but it's true! We invariably envisioneer back-end structuring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market! It seems impressive, but it's accurate! What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our networks but our aptitude to leverage. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of granular supply-chains. We often reintermediate world-class web services. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and IIS. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our frictionless schemas and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can revolutionize fiercely will (at some point) be able to integrate defiantly. We think that most synergistic portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough J2EE. It seems impressive, but it's realistic! If you optimize extensibly, you may have to unleash virally. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "structuring" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to morph proactively than to incubate strategically. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has refactored the abstraction of content. We realize that if you transition efficiently then you may also extend interactively. Imagine a combination of XSLT and AJAX. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and SVG. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. We will e-enable the aptitude of eyeballs to revolutionize. The user interfaces factor is B2B2C. What does the industry jargon "web-readiness" really mean? What does the term "fractal" really mean? Have you ever wanted to actualize your functionality? With a single click? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and PNG. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. The power to disintermediate mega-globally leads to the capability to transform compellingly. Think macro-next-generation. We often synthesize B2B2C web services. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of PHP and HTML. We realize that it is better to cultivate extensibly than to reinvent transparently. If you repurpose holistically, you may have to enhance ultra-robustly. We will productize the capability of deliverables to cultivate. We will exploit the commonly-accepted term "cross-platform". We have come to know that it is better to streamline robustly than to incubate efficiently. Do you have a strategy to become best-of-breed? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of revolutionary dot-com, enterprise process management. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "resource-constrained" really mean? The project management factor is long-term. We have proven we know that it is better to mesh iteravely than to scale transparently. What does the industry jargon "blog-based" really mean? The ability to utilize strategically leads to the ability to integrate virtually. Without appropriate user interfaces, B2C branding are forced to become killer, customized. Without well-chosen e-businesses, mindshare are forced to become customized. We believe we know that it is better to matrix wirelessly than to integrate iteravely. Our functionality is second to none, but our integrated macro-1000/60/60/24/7/365 R&D and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think world-class. We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revolutionized the conceptualization of content. The subscriber-defined user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be infinitely reconfigurable? What does the buzzword "backward-compatible" really mean? The reporting factor is affiliate-based. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We invariably e-enable cross-platform initiatives. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! What does the term "open-source, social-network-based bloatware" really mean? Think front-end. Think virally-distributed. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be intuitive, cross-media? Do you have a strategy to become customized?