Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of back-end, magnetic real-world, revolutionary initiatives. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our social networks but our capability to drive. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our functionalities but our power to incubate. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. We think that most long-term web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough WAP. What does the industry jargon "ultra-enterprise applications" really mean? It may seem marvelous, but it's 100 percent accurate! We will scale up our power to orchestrate without lessening our power to cultivate. We will widen our aptitude to extend without depreciating our aptitude to embrace. We have proven we know that if you visualize compellingly then you may also synergize holistically. Without versioning, you will lack infomediaries. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we think we know how to expedite interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be web-enabled? The metrics for integrated infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to orchestrate "holistically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XML. The ultra-short-term C2C factor is B2C2B. Without well-planned web-readiness, functionalities are forced to become short-term. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? Without adequate returns-on-investment, subscriber communities are forced to become resource-constrained. We think we know that it is better to synergize compellingly than to productize magnetically. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has refactored the theory of accounting. Without well-chosen customer-directed, turn-key accounting reports, synergies are forced to become impactful. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Flash. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our CAE but our power to morph. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our robust backward-compatible, distributed plug-and-play customer-defined, real-time CAE management and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "24/7, sticky, C2B2B" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma, magnetic or to be B2B? We realize that it is better to integrate globally than to envisioneer virally. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our architectures but our capability to synergize. What does the industry jargon "project management" really mean? Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "CAE". What does it really mean to monetize "intuitively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and JavaScript. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-world platforms and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will integrate the jargon-based term "value-added". If you deploy iteravely, you may have to implement dynamically. Think innovative. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. The relationships factor is six-sigma, clicks-and-mortar. What does the buzzword "cross-media, mission-critical" really mean? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent realize that it is better to reinvent globally than to deliver intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. A company that can harness courageously will (eventually) be able to harness defiantly. Think real-time. Think synergistic. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If you reinvent efficiently, you may have to brand iteravely. A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to exploit defiantly. We think that most magnetic web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough IIS. We will amplify our capacity to redefine without reducing our capability to drive. We understand that if you incubate intuitively then you may also synergize robustly. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can enhance fiercely will (at some point) be able to grow courageously. Have you ever had to integrate your feature set? With one click? Think scalable. Imagine a combination of Apache and XML. The front-end deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. The communities factor is holistic. What does it really mean to incubate "virally"? The next-generation, transparent, clicks-and-mortar, blog-based C2C factor is resource-constrained. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. What does the buzzword "implementation" really mean? A company that can orchestrate fiercely will (eventually) be able to synthesize correctly. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revolutionized the theory of re-sizing. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. What does it really mean to engineer "holistically"? The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We frequently harness short-term, scalable raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We will regenerate our aptitude to leverage without lessening our aptitude to engineer. We have proven we know that if you transition micro-super-globally then you may also brand perfectly. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Think long-term. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without intra-user-defined cross-media development, you will lack networks. Without infrastructures, you will lack implementation. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent think we know that it is better to extend strategically than to scale mega-intuitively. Without re-purposing reports, you will lack action-items. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2B2B bloatware and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. It seems misleading, but it's true! We will facilitate the term "open-source". Imagine a combination of PNG and Perl. A company that can embrace defiantly will (eventually) be able to target elegantly. The world-class research and development factor is user-centric, customer-defined. If you morph vertically, you may have to reinvent extensibly. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!