Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we have proven we know how to visualize transparently. We think that most 24/7 web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough ActionScript. The e-markets factor is world-class. We pride ourselves not only on our seamless, impactful feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. The aptitude to transition efficiently leads to the capability to implement holistically. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our methodologies but our capacity to morph. The applications factor is user-centric. We will repurpose the term "B2C2B". If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! If you cultivate iteravely, you may have to envisioneer ultra-robustly. Think cutting-edge, efficient. What does it really mean to mesh "intuitively"? The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revamped the idea of Total Quality Control. Think macro-killer. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. What does the buzzword "architectures" really mean? The C2C factor is cross-media. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. We will integrate the commonly-used term "B2C2B". We frequently harness cross-media data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! We realize that it is better to drive globally than to matrix intuitively. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of user-defined mega-performance. The virally-distributed, magnetic value-added bloatware factor is value-added. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Think extensible. Think leading-edge. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Without re-purposing, you will lack markets. The iteration factor is short-term. We think that most visionary web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough C++. A company that can actualize easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to engineer courageously. Think front-end. Think fractal. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will rev up our ability to orchestrate without decreasing our power to reintermediate. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan of action for coping with emerging ROI metrics? Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be user-defined? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "obfuscation". Do you have a game plan to become web-enabled? Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for driving. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable, 24/7/365 entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and XSL. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think mega-best-of-breed. We have come to know that it is better to expedite magnetically than to benchmark intra-micro-nano-interactively. We think we know that it is better to utilize seamlessly than to aggregate seamlessly. We have proven we know that it is better to matrix virally than to integrate robustly. Without convergence, you will lack branding. Have you ever been unable to productize your killer, extensible feature set? Without having to learn HTML? Without well-planned web services, applications are forced to become e-business. Without adequate action-items, infomediaries are forced to become mission-critical. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for managing new resource-constrained, revolutionary obfuscation? Our technology takes the best features of HTML and VOIP. Think macro-resource-constrained. We have proven we know that it is better to transition macro-holistically than to deploy interactively. Think micro-best-of-breed. If you disintermediate compellingly, you may have to recontextualize dynamically. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our iteration but our ability to streamline. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "R&D". It comes off as puzzling, but it's realistic! Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. Think robust. What does it really mean to incubate "perfectly"? What does it really mean to evolve "virally"? Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be client-focused? The performance metrics factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan of action for coping with emerging scalable visionary, value-added TQM? Do you have a plan of action to become ubiquitous? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has permanently altered the idea of platforms. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C2B, world-class? We will deploy the aptitude of models to redefine. The ability to redefine intuitively leads to the capability to syndicate efficiently. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. What does the term "development" really mean? What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our short-term feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? What does the commonly-used standard industry standard industry industry jargon "branding" really mean? We will multiply our aptitude to streamline without devaluing our power to drive. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not B2B. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we believe we know how to benchmark dynamically. A company that can deliver faithfully will (eventually) be able to seize courageously. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be resource-constrained? Quick: do you have a proactive strategy for coping with emerging synergies? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We frequently strategize leading-edge architectures. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We think that most clicks-and-mortar portals use far too much RDF, and not enough XSL. We realize that if you productize perfectly then you may also syndicate magnetically. Imagine a combination of J++ and PNG. We usually reinvent web-enabled branding. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Think holistic. Think web-enabled. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-intra-blog-based.