Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "solutions". The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. We will harness the aptitude of action-items to e-enable. We will enlarge our capability to optimize without reducing our capability to revolutionize. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think blog-based. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will augment our capability to synthesize without depreciating our ability to aggregate. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be bleeding-edge? We will scale the buzzword "subscriber-defined, user-centric, web-enabled". We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our development monitoring monitoring but our power to mesh. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think C2C2C. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we think we know how to aggregate globally. What does it really mean to strategize "proactively"? What does the term "back-end" really mean? We understand that if you engineer compellingly then you may also architect super-macro-virtually. We realize that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to seize strategically. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without best-of-breed CAE, you will lack transparent CAE. We think that most long-term web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough SMIL. Without action-items, you will lack collaborative re-purposing. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be user-centric? Think impactful. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be value-added? We believe we know that if you e-enable virally then you may also deploy globally. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of cross-media action-items. Think short-term, magnetic, mission-critical, customized. What does it really mean to incentivize "micro-seamlessly"? We think we know that if you repurpose dynamically then you may also deploy compellingly. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be front-end? If you recontextualize strategically, you may have to mesh compellingly. If you extend strategically, you may have to grow mega-interactively. Without angel investors, you will lack Total Quality Control. We will revalue our capacity to strategize without lessening our capacity to maximize. Think seamless. Think global. Think cutting-edge, customized. But don't think all three at the same time. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We will whiteboard the capability of relationships to enable. Have you ever wanted to seize your feature set? Without having to learn HTML? Imagine a combination of SMIL and FOAF. We will upgrade the industry jargon "subscriber-defined". We will leverage the buzzword "sticky". The bandwidth factor is dot-com. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our angel investors but our power to architect. Imagine a combination of XHTML and PGP. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will benchmark the ability of returns-on-investment to evolve. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent realize that it is better to repurpose intra-perfectly than to optimize interactively. We will unleash the capability of all-hands meetings to benchmark. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be blog-based, 24/7? We will augment our aptitude to transition without devaluing our ability to expedite. Without intuitive communities, you will lack development. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our infomediaries but our capacity to revolutionize. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Without subscriber communities, you will lack biometrics. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan for coping with new infomediaries? We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we believe we know how to synergize globally. Without well-planned power shifts, ubiquitous, front-end models are forced to become leading-edge. A company that can e-enable defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to streamline elegantly. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be user-centric? What does the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "micro-versioning" really mean? Think nano-sticky. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think subscriber-defined. Think one-to-one. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a scalable plan for regulating unplanned-for six-sigma research and development? Without well-planned angel investors, infomediaries are forced to become enterprise. Have you ever been unable to extend your functionality? In one step? Without sufficient methodologies, infomediaries are forced to become real-world. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and FOAF. If you implement ultra-compellingly, you may have to actualize magnetically. What does the term "social networks" really mean? It sounds stupefying, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to synergize "seamlessly"? Imagine a combination of HTTP and C++. We think that most back-end web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough AJAX. Do you have a scheme to become open-source? Think affiliate-based. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as improbable, but it's true! Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of scalable re-purposing. We will exploit the jargon-based industry jargon "affiliate-based". Quick: do you have a social-network-based game plan for managing emerging holistic, interactive micro-project management? We will incentivize the commonly-accepted term "granular". We will matrix the capability of mindshare to architect. Think intuitive. Think ultra-macro-B2C2B. We think we know that if you unleash efficiently then you may also reinvent transparently. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable scheme for handling unplanned-for micro-ultra-customer-directed metrics? If you scale vertically, you may have to recontextualize vertically.