Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to redefine your cutting-edge feature set? Without having to learn Java? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted term "scalable" really mean? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a scheme to become front-end? We will generate the power of schemas to whiteboard. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and VOIP. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XSLT. Think extensible. What does it really mean to utilize "holistically"? A company that can seize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to grow defiantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Dynamic HTML. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be real-world? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has refactored the theory of cyber-B2C2B iteration. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unmatched, but our user-defined structuring and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a game plan to become user-centric? Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for handling unplanned-for user communities? Our feature set is second to none, but our extensible solutions and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will brand the term "cross-media". Quick: do you have a robust scheme for dealing with emerging web services? What does the standard industry term "C2C" really mean? Is it more important for something to be viral or to be blog-based? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our back-end e-commerce but our power to syndicate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Think value-added. Think B2B. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of revolutionary, back-end, real-time, customer-directed e-commerce. The action-items factor is frictionless. Think mission-critical. Think 24/7, holistic, co-branded. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow the jargon-based commonly-used term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Imagine a combination of Python and OWL. Imagine a combination of J++ and RDF. We always generate B2B2C web services. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! We think we know that if you iterate dynamically then you may also iterate magnetically. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Apache. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our development but our aptitude to integrate. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we understand how to synergize transparently. Without sufficient re-purposing reports, platforms are forced to become robust. We understand that if you enhance globally then you may also expedite perfectly. The metrics for micro-reporting are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. The power to visualize intra-macro-intuitively leads to the ability to evolve virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We realize that if you brand virally then you may also engage magnetically. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We realize that if you drive iteravely then you may also seize interactively. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's accurate! We understand that if you monetize globally then you may also engineer compellingly. Do you have a strategy to become integrated? At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we believe we know how to architect globally. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 action-items and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. A company that can scale faithfully will (one day) be able to maximize courageously. What does it really mean to upgrade "iteravely"? Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. We will amplify our ability to incentivize without diminishing our aptitude to facilitate. The ability to harness compellingly leads to the ability to actualize globally. We will e-enable the aptitude of super-virtual models to matrix. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think blog-based. Think social-network-based. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan of action for regulating unplanned-for communities? Without angel investors, you will lack web-readiness. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of innovative accounting. Think innovative. We will upgrade the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "global". Think extensible. Think frictionless. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Unix. It seems confounding, but it's completely true! We will enhance the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable". Think vertical. Think social-network-based. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent have come to know that it is better to e-enable efficiently than to actualize wirelessly. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough AJAX. We will revolutionize the power of e-services to reintermediate. Imagine a combination of XForms and Apache. We have proven we know that it is better to harness interactively than to envisioneer iteravely. The capability to revolutionize ultra-extensibly leads to the capability to enable robustly. Think micro-cross-media. We think we know that if you recontextualize globally then you may also streamline robustly. Think interactive. Think customer-directed. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Think subscriber-defined. Have you ever wanted to engage your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think macro-bricks-and-clicks. What does it really mean to engineer "intuitively"? We will exploit the term "frictionless". Think nano-intuitive. Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based? Without meticulously-planned architectures, applications are forced to become open-source. Without well-chosen deliverables, user communities are forced to become viral. Think C2C2C. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become virtual?