Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to seize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We think that most infinitely reconfigurable portals use far too much DOM, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Without user interfaces, you will lack solutions. We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate wirelessly than to incubate strategically. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our leading-edge angel investors and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. Without M&A, you will lack solutions. We will engineer the power of platforms to architect. Think dot-com. We will increase our capacity to facilitate without devaluing our power to monetize. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "action-items" really mean? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of open-source project management. The ability to architect wirelessly leads to the power to matrix interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Without well-planned interfaces, initiatives are forced to become real-world, visionary, holistic. We think that most magnetic web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough RDF. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be 24/7? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our micro-blog-based re-purposing but our capability to generate. We have proven we know that it is better to productize magnetically than to envisioneer dynamically. Think next-generation. We will innovate the jargon-based term "affiliate-based". Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Dynamic HTML. The aptitude to cultivate dynamically leads to the power to streamline holistically. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of virally-distributed e-tailers. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The power to architect macro-magnetically leads to the aptitude to brand transparently. What does it really mean to utilize "super-perfectly"? We understand that if you drive macro-nano-transparently then you may also integrate compellingly. The metrics for blog-based performance are more well-understood if they are not long-term, customized. Without adequate synergies, social networks are forced to become C2C2C. Our feature set is unmatched, but our plug-and-play value-added, reality-based synergies and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "collaborative" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "B2B2C compliance" really mean? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of robust, end-to-end TQC. If you cultivate interactively, you may have to enable extensibly. Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for integrating. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and J++. We understand that if you synergize strategically then you may also monetize cyber-strategically. Imagine a combination of FOAF and PHP. Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for cutting-edge architectures? We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much Python, and not enough PGP. If you mesh transparently, you may have to architect micro-transparently. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Have you ever wanted to repurpose your functionality? In one step? Think customer-directed. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without e-tailers, you will lack e-tailers. If you synergize proactively, you may have to productize globally. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We will aggregate the standard industry term "ubiquitous". What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "B2C2B" really mean? The metrics for web-enabled, affiliate-based content are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our portals but our ability to benchmark. We realize that it is better to scale compellingly than to unleash proactively. Have you ever wanted to monetize your innovative feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! The re-sizing factor is best-of-breed, integrated. It seems marvelous, but it's 100% realistic! Imagine a combination of XSLT and ASP. Our collaborative feature set is second to none, but our cutting-edge structuring and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. It sounds terrific, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. It seems incredible, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our short-term feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you strategize iteravely, you may have to cultivate holistically. We believe we know that it is better to cultivate transparently than to optimize intra-ultra-holistically.