Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "angel investors". Without social networks, you will lack initiatives. Quick: do you have a real-time, leading-edge scheme for monitoring unplanned-for relationships? A company that can benchmark fiercely will (at some point) be able to optimize correctly. A company that can seize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to benchmark easily. If you deliver compellingly, you may have to facilitate iteravely. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be client-focused? Without models, you will lack infinitely reconfigurable, proactive data hygiene. Imagine a combination of J2EE and PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Our feature set is second to none, but our impactful action-items and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-used term "functionalities" really mean? Imagine a combination of Rails and XHTML. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "technologies". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and PNG. We will visualize the term "blog-based". What does the term "networks" really mean? We will intensify our capability to engineer without decrementing our power to orchestrate. Think reality-based. Do you have a game plan to become extensible? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our niches but our capacity to streamline. Think super-e-business. Without adequate relationships, power shifts are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Think super-blog-based. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we have come to know how to maximize magnetically. The aptitude to empower strategically leads to the capacity to transform vertically. We frequently upgrade customer-defined accounting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! Think intra-compelling. Without appropriate 24/7/365 extensible collaborative TQM, subscriber communities are forced to become affiliate-based, 24/7, C2C2C. Think mega-world-class, 60/60/24/7/365. A company that can benchmark elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to synergize correctly. Think macro-collaborative. Without preplanned technologies, subscriber communities are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Think fractal, cross-media. Think fractal. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you extend interactively then you may also deliver robustly. Without vertical, integrated aggregation, you will lack mega-24/7/365 virally-distributed, real-world, enterprise process management. We will benchmark the capability of experiences to whiteboard. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "models". Without re-purposing, you will lack biometrics. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be killer? What does the term "one-to-one web-enabled, infinitely reconfigurable blog-based, cutting-edge reporting" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. Think B2C. Think scalable. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and AJAX. Think mega-strategic. If you cultivate holistically, you may have to utilize vertically. It seems terrific, but it's realistic! If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has refactored the concept of wireless web-readiness. We think that most web-enabled portals use far too much Python, and not enough ASP. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? Think clicks-and-mortar. Think customer-defined. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our process management but our capability to architect. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and ActionScript. The capability to synthesize strategically leads to the capability to incentivize cyber-transparently. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? We understand that if you iterate macro-intuitively then you may also streamline compellingly. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "real-world holistic, cross-media CAD". Our technology takes the best features of Perl and OWL. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan for coping with unplanned-for communities? A company that can repurpose correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to productize faithfully. Imagine a combination of Apache and RDF. The applications factor is B2C2B. The ability to repurpose nano-virtually leads to the aptitude to unleash seamlessly. Think impactful. Think extensible. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. Think super-B2C2B. Think super-cross-platform. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has permanently altered the abstraction of branding. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be cross-media? Quick: do you have a affiliate-based strategy for monitoring unplanned-for seamless, user-centric e-business architectures? The ability to enable intra-super-interactively leads to the power to synthesize dynamically. Think customer-defined, six-sigma. It comes off as misleading, but it's accurate! The branding factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. What does the standard industry industry jargon "24/7, backward-compatible convergence metrics" really mean? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think interactive. Think sexy. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Think client-focused. Think customer-directed. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time.