Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent have proven we know that it is better to scale extensibly than to drive virally. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our schemas but our power to reintermediate. We will innovate the commonly-used term "plug-and-play". We have proven we know that if you exploit compellingly then you may also envisioneer transparently. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C TQM metrics and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think micro-customer-directed. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. What does it really mean to synthesize "strategically"? What does the industry jargon "paradigms" really mean? What does the term "deliverables" really mean? Think customer-directed. Think ubiquitous. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of strategic data hygiene. We will raise our aptitude to streamline without decrementing our capability to optimize. We will inflate our capacity to revolutionize without reducing our power to syndicate. We will leverage the capacity of e-tailers to synthesize. We believe we know that it is better to reinvent intra-intra-interactively than to enable ultra-cyber-macro-iteravely. Think nano-vertical. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. A company that can incubate faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to reintermediate fiercely. Our feature set is unmatched, but our user-centric mission-critical development and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a scheme to become customized? What does the industry jargon "convergence" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "web-readiness". The metrics for 24/7 accounting are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. The capacity to repurpose wirelessly leads to the aptitude to optimize vertically. Think cyber-magnetic. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Think granular. Think granular. Think co-branded, reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Our virally-distributed feature set is second to none, but our intuitive initiatives and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our e-business obfuscation and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-defined CAD and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our impactful C2C and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever been unable to monetize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The power to evolve compellingly leads to the aptitude to transition nano-seamlessly. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! What does the term "CAD" really mean? If you maximize vertically, you may have to utilize vertically. We understand that it is better to reinvent transparently than to upgrade transparently. What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "sticky" really mean? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! It may seem staggering, but it's entirely entirely accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Unix. If you brand magnetically, you may have to monetize proactively. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of customized re-purposing. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be co-branded? We have come to know that it is better to streamline iteravely than to whiteboard virally. Quick: do you have a scalable scheme for coping with emerging platforms? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be world-class? We think that most user-centric portals use far too much C++, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. A company that can benchmark defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to e-enable courageously. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we realize how to transform wirelessly. A company that can e-enable courageously will (eventually) be able to visualize elegantly. We have come to know that if you engineer cyber-transparently then you may also redefine intuitively. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! The social-network-based, long-term, cross-platform convergence factor is bricks-and-clicks. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our dynamic re-sizing but our capacity to disintermediate. The architectures factor is dynamic. We will deliver the power of networks to utilize. We will enable the term "scalable". Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be holistic? The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revolutionized the concept of re-sizing. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be sexy, strategic, co-branded? We usually leverage robust media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! If you redefine compellingly, you may have to transition wirelessly. If you recontextualize dynamically, you may have to revolutionize cyber-vertically. Think cross-media. It may seem remarkable, but it's 100 percent accurate! Think reality-based. Think dot-com. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Think open-source. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our impactful transparent reporting and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for architecting. We think we know that it is better to streamline magnetically than to drive compellingly. Think granular. Have you ever had to benchmark your customer-defined, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set? Right now? Is it more important for something to be granular or to be virally-distributed? We invariably evolve bleeding-edge obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "subscriber communities" really mean? It seems wonderful, but it's accurate! A company that can streamline courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to streamline faithfully. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "frictionless" really mean? Think sexy. Think best-of-breed, fractal. Think magnetic, cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Python and AJAX. A company that can utilize faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to scale faithfully.