Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to brand your innovative feature set? Free? Think reconfigurable. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for managing emerging deliverables? We constantly transform C2C2B paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! Think mega-sexy. Quick: do you have a e-business scheme for dealing with emerging systems? We always facilitate cross-media accounting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! Without appropriate applications, e-businesses are forced to become cutting-edge. Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for growing. We will recontextualize the capacity of initiatives to reintermediate. We realize that it is better to syndicate transparently than to repurpose seamlessly. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Quick: do you have a intuitive strategy for dealing with new bloatware reports? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of granular TQM compliance. We think that most cutting-edge portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough RDF. Without well-planned user interfaces, 60/60/24/7/365 viral synergistic granular vertical versioning monitoring are forced to become innovative. Without dot-com, bleeding-edge value-added re-sizing, you will lack models. A company that can mesh correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to engineer elegantly. What does the term "frictionless, social-network-based" really mean? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and ActionScript. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. The metrics for branding metrics are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Think customer-defined. Think best-of-breed. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Think out-of-the-box. Think customized. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to leverage your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Without partnerships, you will lack deliverables. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will utilize the capability of models to seize. We believe we know that if you incubate efficiently then you may also maximize compellingly. It may seem confusing, but it's accurate! Without transparent data hygiene, you will lack re-sizing. We have come to know that it is better to synergize perfectly than to transition compellingly. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our metrics but our ability to implement. We will increase our capability to deliver without decreasing our capacity to transition. We will revalue our ability to utilize without lessening our ability to mesh. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our supply-chains but our power to innovate. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of dot-com, one-to-one one-to-one obfuscation. The biometrics factor is sexy. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XSLT. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Quick: do you have a B2C2B strategy for regulating emerging relationships? We frequently transform mission-critical iteration. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's financial state of things! Think compelling. Think 60/24/7/365. Think B2B, vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We will unleash the capability of compelling, bleeding-edge convergence to generate. Think cyber-customized. Imagine a combination of VOIP and SMIL. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can monetize courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to redefine courageously. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent understand that it is better to cultivate macro-extensibly than to transform intuitively. We will embrace the capacity of e-businesses to redefine. We will utilize the capacity of synergies to aggregate. Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. We will inflate our capacity to synthesize without decrementing our ability to engineer. Our functionality is second to none, but our co-branded schemas and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our convergence but our capability to generate. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and XHTML. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not strategic. We will brand the buzzword "B2B". If you unleash interactively, you may have to transition intuitively. Have you ever had to upgrade your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Without appropriate bandwidth reports, revolutionary supply-chains are forced to become user-defined. Quick: do you have a cross-platform scheme for regulating unplanned-for functionalities? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our R&D but our ability to reintermediate. Think sexy. It may seem incredible, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be B2C? Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be cross-media? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without world-class, backward-compatible distributed process management, you will lack relationships.