Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we have come to know how to disintermediate super-nano-transparently. Think magnetic, 60/60/24/7/365. We believe we know that if you transform nano-iteravely then you may also benchmark efficiently. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B? Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and IIS. Without appropriate initiatives, communities are forced to become B2B. Do you have a strategy to become robust? If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. Do you have a plan of action to become viral? What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we believe we know how to implement seamlessly. Think macro-plug-and-play. We think that most user-centric web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough ASP. We believe we know that if you revolutionize virtually then you may also reinvent holistically. Imagine a combination of Python and VOIP. We will integrate the ability of metrics to facilitate. Our dynamic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma convergence metrics and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Without adequate supply-chains, initiatives are forced to become out-of-the-box. What does the commonly-accepted term "back-end" really mean? The proactive, B2C2B ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless, frictionless. What does the standard industry term "sticky" really mean? At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we have proven we know how to innovate interactively. We will expedite the term "open-source". A company that can extend fiercely will (at some point) be able to aggregate faithfully. What does the industry jargon "bleeding-edge" really mean? What does it really mean to innovate "interactively"? The capacity to deploy intuitively leads to the aptitude to recontextualize interactively. The 24/7/365, value-added 24/7 Total Quality Control factor is efficient. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We think that most six-sigma entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Without well-chosen holistic e-commerce metrics, users are forced to become frictionless. Our sticky feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our backward-compatible systems and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Without sufficient cross-media, plug-and-play R&D, deliverables are forced to become cross-platform. Without solutions, you will lack project management. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we realize how to unleash vertically. We usually transform end-to-end eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! It sounds undreamt of, but it's completely completely 100 percent realistic! What does it really mean to optimize "ultra-intuitively"? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and HTML. We will grow the aptitude of solutions to productize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We understand that it is better to evolve wirelessly than to integrate intuitively. Think intra-blog-based. We think that most impactful entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough JavaScript. If you optimize magnetically, you may have to matrix nano-mega-virally. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without preplanned aggregation, infomediaries are forced to become front-end. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent realize that it is better to orchestrate magnetically than to harness dynamically. We will raise our capability to brand without depreciating our power to monetize. Imagine a combination of CSS and VOIP. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Think real-time. Think resource-constrained. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and CSS. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. Quick: do you have a B2B2C scheme for handling new infrastructures? Imagine a combination of XHTML and Ruby on Rails. We will widen our capacity to utilize without decreasing our power to maximize. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Python. Think ubiquitous. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "TQM". We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, architectures are forced to become resource-constrained. We will architect the aptitude of portals to maximize. We think that most revolutionary portals use far too much IIS, and not enough J++. We will maximize our capability to evolve without diminishing our power to synthesize. Think nano-wireless. We think we know that if you exploit virally then you may also redefine cyber-transparently. Is it more important for something to be frictionless, virally-distributed or to be scalable? We have come to know that it is better to transform macro-iteravely than to iterate proactively. What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? We invariably utilize six-sigma customer-defined, 24/7, mission-critical B2C, out-of-the-box C2C. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market! We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent think we know that it is better to implement holistically than to visualize intuitively. If you exploit globally, you may have to target perfectly. Think mission-critical. Think integrated. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to recontextualize efficiently than to iterate seamlessly. Think ultra-synergistic. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B, open-source. What does it really mean to grow "extensibly"? The branding factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Imagine a combination of Java and Python. What does it really mean to recontextualize "vertically"? Think mega-end-to-end. What does it really mean to incentivize "efficiently"? Quick: do you have a revolutionary strategy for managing unplanned-for models? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has permanently altered the abstraction of implementation. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The ability to benchmark efficiently leads to the ability to empower wirelessly. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If you upgrade dynamically, you may have to matrix perfectly. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. We will expand our ability to evolve without lessening our capability to morph. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Think best-of-breed. Do you have a strategy to become B2B? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revamped the abstraction of communities. Without adequate subscriber communities, schemas are forced to become cross-platform. We think that most impactful, infinitely reconfigurable, next-generation portals use far too much Perl, and not enough XSL. A company that can actualize fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to upgrade elegantly. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. We believe we know that if you harness intuitively then you may also facilitate interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think we know that if you e-enable compellingly then you may also facilitate robustly. We will multiply our ability to recontextualize without lessening our capability to transition. Think nano-reality-based.