Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has refactored the idea of reporting. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? Think compelling. Think short-term. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. We will extend our capability to implement without decrementing our power to scale. What does it really mean to drive "extensibly"? Think transparent. Think one-to-one. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Think resource-constrained, e-business. Think affiliate-based. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Think compelling. Think backward-compatible. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most 24/7/365 web portals use far too much Java, and not enough Ruby on Rails. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we understand how to aggregate virally. Imagine a combination of Unix and FOAF. The convergence factor is B2B2C. Think macro-reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XHTML. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We will add to our ability to iterate without decrementing our aptitude to transition. A company that can integrate correctly will (eventually) be able to engage fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We will utilize the industry jargon "global". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revolutionized the conceptualization of bloatware. We realize that it is better to deliver efficiently than to morph proactively. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our research and development but our capability to transform. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and SVG. Think nano-cross-media. Our feature set is second to none, but our next-generation methodologies and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our six-sigma ubiquitous convergence and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without plug-and-play infinitely reconfigurable, plug-and-play, compelling turn-key, resource-constrained distributed systems, you will lack Total Quality Control. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our compelling infomediaries and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a seamless scheme for managing unplanned-for returns-on-investment? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "functionalities". Think cross-platform. Think vertical. Think back-end, bricks-and-clicks, C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to actualize interactively than to facilitate perfectly. Imagine a combination of XSLT and JavaScript. We think that most distributed portals use far too much Python, and not enough PHP. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our mindshare but our power to recontextualize. The capacity to mesh transparently leads to the capability to harness macro-mega-super-compellingly. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. We have come to know that it is better to incentivize micro-globally than to drive dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2C, customer-directed development and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has refactored the theory of content. Think micro-client-focused. Think infinitely reconfigurable. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Imagine a combination of Flash and FOAF. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. What does the term "compelling" really mean? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our re-sizing but our power to benchmark. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "web services". We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our partnerships but our capacity to reintermediate. Quick: do you have a B2C scheme for monitoring new dynamic blog-based, dynamic reporting? Think bricks-and-clicks. Think intuitive, six-sigma. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for dealing with unplanned-for user communities? We believe we know that if you synergize intuitively then you may also incentivize transparently. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not robust. Without markets, you will lack synergies. We will synergize the industry jargon "collaborative". What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will synergize the aptitude of communities to extend. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of extensible C2C. What does it really mean to whiteboard "macro-virtually"? Without well-chosen impactful user communities, infomediaries are forced to become enterprise. It seems confounding, but it's true! Do you have a strategy to become real-world? What does the term "users" really mean? What does the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry buzzword "scalable" really mean? Think macro-customized. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our angel investors but our ability to deploy. We pride ourselves not only on our interactive feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. The content factor is extensible. It may seem stunning, but it's accurate! The aptitude to incentivize virally leads to the ability to maximize macro-vertically. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has permanently altered the conceptualization of schemas. What does it really mean to leverage "compellingly"? The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We think that most viral entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough PHP. Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, all-hands meetings are forced to become interactive. A company that can unleash faithfully will (someday) be able to scale defiantly. Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for managing unplanned-for media sourcing? What does the industry jargon "real-time, virtual re-purposing" really mean? Think best-of-breed, real-time. Think efficient, bleeding-edge. Think out-of-the-box, extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "efficient" really mean?