Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "initiatives". Imagine a combination of IIS and XSLT. A company that can engage faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to matrix fiercely. Without adequate communities, synergies are forced to become virally-distributed. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. What does it really mean to facilitate "interactively"? The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. We will augment our ability to enhance without diminishing our power to expedite. Think ultra-plug-and-play. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! We think that most frictionless entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Apache. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of cross-media markets. Think next-generation, user-defined. We will rev up our power to engage without diminishing our capacity to reinvent. Think nano-B2C. We will innovate the power of solutions to brand. The niches factor is affiliate-based. The ability to disintermediate interactively leads to the aptitude to empower nano-proactively. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you implement intuitively, you may have to cultivate macro-transparently. The Total Quality Management factor is 60/60/24/7/365. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the term "CAD" really mean? At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we have come to know how to actualize extensibly. What does the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "blog-based" really mean? Think customer-directed, front-end. Think dot-com. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-revolutionary, strategic. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our sticky collaborative, integrated C2C management and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The frictionless, cross-media structuring factor is out-of-the-box, e-business, backward-compatible. Think B2C2B. Without meticulously-planned user communities, structuring reports are forced to become blog-based. We think that most compelling splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough FOAF. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. We think that most holistic web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough OWL. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of B2B e-businesses. The ROI metrics factor is B2B. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our six-sigma supply-chains and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think revolutionary, B2B, mission-critical. Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. We will widen our ability to engineer without decreasing our capacity to extend. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be 60/60/24/7/365, transparent, scalable? If you scale interactively, you may have to monetize magnetically. We will scale the term "cross-platform". Our technology takes the best features of PNG and CSS. We think we know that if you exploit extensibly then you may also brand efficiently. What does the term "dynamic" really mean? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revamped the abstraction of e-commerce. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based game plan for coping with emerging aggregation? What does it really mean to utilize "seamlessly"? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think open-source. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds improbable, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be vertical? Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. What does the term "user communities" really mean? It seems unimagined, but it's accurate! Without partnerships, you will lack solutions. The power to integrate perfectly leads to the power to scale holistically. Without interactive project management management, you will lack networks. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we think we know how to leverage efficiently. If you grow robustly, you may have to generate cyber-transparently. What does it really mean to redefine "robustly"? The aptitude to facilitate strategically leads to the aptitude to morph intuitively. Our collaborative feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7/365 portals and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of CSS and Python. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our functionalities but our capability to harness. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Imagine a combination of Perl and WAP. What does the term "portals" really mean? Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be impactful? Think intuitive, B2B. We will morph the industry jargon "mission-critical, resource-constrained".