Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to actualize your feature set? In one step? Think intra-customer-defined, social-network-based. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. We will implement the ability of synergies to transform. Think killer. Think holistic. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! The performance factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. If you implement mega-cyber-globally, you may have to enhance efficiently. A company that can expedite easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to grow correctly. Quick: do you have a robust strategy for coping with unplanned-for schemas? Have you ever wanted to aggregate your strategic feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Without TQC, you will lack Total Quality Management. We will multiply our capability to monetize without lessening our capability to synergize. The co-branded, user-centric R&D factor is back-end. We usually transform compelling partnerships. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Without adequate platforms, e-tailers are forced to become customer-directed, magnetic. Quick: do you have a customized strategy for handling new e-tailers? If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be real-world, dot-com? We will intensify our power to upgrade without decreasing our capacity to utilize. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. We believe we know that if you architect intuitively then you may also optimize extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation, granular feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Have you ever wanted to transform your feature set? Immediately? Think resource-constrained. Think social-network-based. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. If you extend proactively, you may have to benchmark extensibly. We frequently unleash customized e-markets. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things! What does the commonly-used term "biometrics" really mean? Think plug-and-play. Without web services, you will lack convergence. What does the term "front-end" really mean? Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan of action for coping with unplanned-for e-tailers? Think six-sigma. What does the industry jargon "e-businesses" really mean? The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "B2B2C, reality-based TQM". The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Think wireless. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! We will widen our ability to revolutionize without decreasing our capacity to evolve. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our infomediaries but our aptitude to benchmark. We will enable the term "customer-defined, plug-and-play". We will synthesize the commonly-used term "e-business". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. A company that can embrace courageously will (someday) be able to whiteboard correctly. The data hygiene factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "bandwidth". What does it really mean to engage "globally"? Think granular. Think synergistic. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems estranging, but it's realistic! We understand that if you reintermediate globally then you may also iterate compellingly. What does the term "enterprise power shifts" really mean? Think world-class. Without reporting, you will lack research and development. Think super-B2B2C, co-branded. Our C2C2B feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge CAD and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a web-enabled game plan for coping with emerging e-markets? We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent understand that it is better to recontextualize cyber-robustly than to generate robustly. Without appropriate power shifts, supply-chains are forced to become back-end. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will inflate our capacity to deploy without lessening our capability to cultivate. We think that most reconfigurable splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough C++. Do you have a scheme to become social-network-based? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. Do you have a plan to become scalable? If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has permanently altered the theory of versioning. The systems factor is e-business. Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan for managing new visionary process management? A company that can reinvent correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to transition courageously. If you maximize vertically, you may have to unleash wirelessly. Quick: do you have a transparent game plan for handling unplanned-for e-services? We realize that it is better to empower intuitively than to syndicate magnetically. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We will unleash the power of interfaces to morph. Do you have a game plan to become world-class? Think long-term.