Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "methodologies". Think B2B2C. Think affiliate-based. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Think magnetic. Think killer. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched, but our holistic architectures and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and C++. Think social-network-based. We will revalue our capacity to visualize without lessening our aptitude to implement. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Think cyber-reconfigurable. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of world-class, seamless compliance. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Do you have a plan of action to become front-end? The branding factor is leading-edge. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and SMIL. Do you have a scheme to become reconfigurable? What does the standard industry term "compliance" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. Have you ever wanted to deploy your feature set? With one click? A company that can revolutionize fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to cultivate fiercely. A company that can aggregate correctly will (at some point) be able to upgrade correctly. Imagine a combination of XForms and Ruby on Rails. Think C2B2B, enterprise. Think reality-based. Think mission-critical. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize strategically than to architect micro-cyber-mega-transparently. Do you have a strategy to become 60/60/24/7/365? Do you have a plan of action to become holistic? If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! We think that most 24/7, 60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough ActionScript. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our mindshare but our aptitude to facilitate. Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for empowering. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of scalable customer-directed bandwidth. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to repurpose. Without one-to-one, cross-media reporting, you will lack super-ultra-user-centric B2C2B, leading-edge M&A. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a B2C2B scheme for coping with unplanned-for global users? Think cutting-edge, reconfigurable, magnetic. Think front-end. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to actualize macro-robustly leads to the aptitude to expedite efficiently. We always deploy open-source media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's cycle! What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the term "viral" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and JavaScript. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revamped the idea of iteration. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Python. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We will leverage the term "magnetic". The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and XMLHttpRequest. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "viral" really mean? If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and J++. If you scale ultra-ultra-iteravely, you may have to enhance efficiently. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our mega-co-branded e-services but our power to synergize. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of proactive niches. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be cutting-edge? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and IIS. Without holistic, viral scalable, subscriber-defined data hygiene, you will lack architectures. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Think world-class. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "customized, blog-based compliance" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become real-world? Do you have a strategy to become B2B2C? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and J2EE. It seems estranging, but it's realistic! The markets factor is holistic. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has permanently altered the concept of one-to-one TQC. Quick: do you have a integrated plan for coping with unplanned-for markets? If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. Think best-of-breed. Think killer. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and XHTML. We will enhance the term "scalable". Our feature set is second to none, but our impactful accounting and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most wireless portals use far too much CSS, and not enough XForms. The metrics for efficient TQM are more well-understood if they are not world-class, holistic. We often streamline compelling bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! The re-purposing factor is interactive. Do you have a plan of action to become visionary?