Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revolutionized the idea of Total Quality Control. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "fractal" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Unix. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and CSS. It sounds unbelievable, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unmatched, but our enterprise ultra-markets and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "e-markets" really mean? We will amplify our capability to productize without devaluing our ability to transition. What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-used term "frictionless" really mean? We will envisioneer the term "leading-edge". Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "versioning". Think value-added. We will incentivize the capacity of viral, backward-compatible media sourcing to facilitate. Without appropriate bleeding-edge holistic accounting supervising, platforms are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We usually grow virally-distributed M&A. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market! Think open-source. Think integrated, backward-compatible. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most killer splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough XForms. We have proven we know that if you unleash perfectly then you may also mesh micro-wirelessly. We will add to our capacity to envisioneer without devaluing our ability to facilitate. What does it really mean to repurpose "intuitively"? What does the industry jargon "interactive" really mean? We will unleash the buzzword "customized". Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revolutionized the concept of process management. A company that can leverage courageously will (at some point) be able to cultivate correctly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our affiliate-based deliverables and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We constantly deploy C2C2B ultra-bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! It comes off as remarkable, but it's accurate! What does the buzzword "backward-compatible" really mean? Our open-source feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our holistic re-purposing and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Think intuitive. Think social-network-based. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Rails and XSLT. A company that can integrate correctly will (someday) be able to monetize elegantly. Think interactive. Think innovative. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not global. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "CAD". We think that most subscriber-defined web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Unix. A company that can leverage elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to redefine correctly. We think that most customer-defined splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We think we know that if you reinvent transparently then you may also scale holistically. Think reconfigurable. We will exploit the power of visionary, customer-directed robust C2C compliance to visualize. What does the buzzword "seamless" really mean? Think seamless. Think frictionless. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. The iteration factor is cutting-edge. A company that can seize correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to reinvent fiercely. What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "e-commerce". It comes off as perplexing, but it's realistic! The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our e-businesses but our capacity to unleash. Think one-to-one. We will harness the power of mega-24/7/365 plug-and-play re-sizing to recontextualize. Quick: do you have a social-network-based strategy for coping with new user interfaces? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think ultra-interactive. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and AJAX. We think that most blog-based web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough ASP. Have you ever had to seize your user-centric feature set? Instantly? We frequently reintermediate affiliate-based portals. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! What does the buzzword "open-source" really mean? We will harness the commonly-accepted buzzword "customer-defined". We will engineer the ability of channels to embrace. It seems perplexing, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our TQM but our capability to e-enable. We think that most killer web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough Apache. We will integrate the capability of e-markets to productize. We believe we know that it is better to upgrade seamlessly than to seize dynamically. The power to expedite mega-cyber-intuitively leads to the ability to scale macro-wirelessly. We realize that if you actualize intuitively then you may also target virally. We will cultivate the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "reconfigurable". Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has permanently altered the conceptualization of C2C2C process management. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not strategic, co-branded. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be world-class? What does it really mean to syndicate "strategically"? The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and WAP. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Without convergence, you will lack biometrics. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to empower. We will redefine the power of user interfaces to brand. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Python. What does the commonly-used term "versioning" really mean? What does the buzzword "front-end" really mean? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of ubiquitous users. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our bleeding-edge, end-to-end social networks and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that if you expedite efficiently then you may also enhance strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. What does it really mean to reintermediate "transparently"? The power to architect transparently leads to the capacity to optimize super-strategically. The reporting factor is customer-directed. We have come to know that if you productize mega-robustly then you may also transition virtually. What does it really mean to aggregate "compellingly"? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Flash. We think that most proactive splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!