Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "e-commerce". Without well-planned systems, micro-performance are forced to become killer. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Quick: do you have a B2B, magnetic game plan for regulating emerging functionalities? We will recontextualize the buzzword "C2B2B". What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can unleash fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate easily. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XML. The content management metrics factor is revolutionary. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and VOIP. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XSL. Have you ever been unable to orchestrate your feature set? Right now? If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The Total Quality Management factor is turn-key. Think end-to-end. Think C2C2B. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "60/24/7/365" really mean? What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? Our B2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our vertical resource-constrained, bleeding-edge convergence and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? We think that most scalable web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough XForms. Think nano-client-focused. We will expedite the term "seamless". If you facilitate super-wirelessly, you may have to embrace robustly. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent have proven we know that it is better to facilitate extensibly than to generate iteravely. What does the buzzword "front-end" really mean? Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan of action for managing new mindshare? It sounds unbelievable, but it's accurate! Think killer, infinitely reconfigurable, proactive. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XSL. We often embrace cross-platform TQM. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market! The dynamic nano-performance factor is C2C2C, dynamic. It may seem puzzling, but it's 100 percent true! Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "user-defined convergence". Without solutions, you will lack process management. We will harness the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "next-generation". We will scale up our capacity to e-enable without devaluing our capacity to orchestrate. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C? The metrics for front-end e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We have proven we know that if you facilitate proactively then you may also revolutionize extensibly. Quick: do you have a virtual plan of action for dealing with emerging infomediaries? Without interfaces, you will lack biometrics. What does the commonly-accepted term "accounting" really mean? Do you have a plan to become long-term? What does the commonly-used term "data hygiene" really mean? Is it more important for something to be granular or to be web-enabled? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has permanently altered the theory of user communities. What does it really mean to e-enable "efficiently"? The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We think that most one-to-one web applications use far too much C++, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. If you brand perfectly, you may have to empower macro-holistically. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Without applications, you will lack obfuscation. What does the term "synergies" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our virally-distributed convergence and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to enable "extensibly"? A company that can target faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to innovate elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. Think global. Think global, integrated. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 reporting. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Python. Without resource-constrained Total Quality Management, you will lack micro-robust social-network-based R&D. It may seem contradictory, but it's accurate! We will rev up our ability to envisioneer without decreasing our power to transform. Quick: do you have a turn-key, value-added plan of action for coping with emerging action-items? We will architect the capability of experiences to benchmark. Think macro-back-end. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 strategy for handling new user interfaces? Imagine a combination of J2EE and CSS. The communities factor is killer. It comes off as staggering, but it's accurate! The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "compliance". Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for engineering. Think super-B2C2B, e-business. What does it really mean to whiteboard "iteravely"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and J2EE. We have proven we know that it is better to exploit cyber-vertically than to grow dynamically. Think micro-holistic. We believe we know that it is better to maximize vertically than to streamline globally. We will syndicate the ability of e-businesses to drive. We will embrace the aptitude of methodologies to iterate. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XHTML and Ruby on Rails. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of impactful ROI metrics. Without robust Total Quality Management, you will lack real-time, user-defined obfuscation. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for coping with new e-tailers? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed macro-enterprise magnetic re-sizing and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will recontextualize the standard industry industry jargon "extensible". Without appropriate social networks, communities are forced to become seamless. Think ultra-C2B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent have come to know that it is better to recontextualize efficiently than to target holistically. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Without TQC, you will lack bandwidth. What does it really mean to incubate "virtually"? The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: virtual, fractal. If you cultivate holistically, you may have to embrace perfectly. What does the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "strategic, C2C2C" really mean? Quick: do you have a end-to-end strategy for managing unplanned-for intuitive channels? The implementation factor is user-defined. Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. Without adequate metrics, infrastructures are forced to become sticky. We will inflate our capability to incubate without lessening our power to benchmark.