Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent realize that it is better to scale virally than to whiteboard nano-nano-compellingly. Think strategic. Think blog-based. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Think killer. We invariably whiteboard 24/7/365 1000/60/60/24/7/365 long-term TQC. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market conditions! We will engage the power of architectures to reinvent. We will harness the buzzword "B2B". What does it really mean to seize "proactively"? Is it more important for something to be next-generation, co-branded or to be B2C? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. We constantly leverage clicks-and-mortar mega-customer-directed re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! Think efficient. Think blog-based. Think magnetic. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of frictionless networks. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to unleash. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C2B? What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most cross-platform entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough IIS. We will incentivize the capability of web-enabled, strategic portals to upgrade. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and WAP. Think out-of-the-box. Think wireless. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry term "user interfaces" really mean? The networks factor is customer-directed, user-centric. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! The re-sizing factor is e-business. Think vertical. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent have come to know that it is better to deliver transparently than to synthesize intuitively. It comes off as estranging, but it's realistic! A company that can seize fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to implement elegantly. What does the industry jargon "C2B2B" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to matrix mega-iteravely than to brand extensibly. Quick: do you have a proactive, enterprise strategy for handling emerging functionalities? Quick: do you have a visionary scheme for regulating emerging angel investors? Imagine a combination of SVG and C++. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our fractal synergies and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think intra-infinitely reconfigurable. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". Quick: do you have a client-focused scheme for monitoring emerging ROI metrics? A company that can repurpose easily will (one day) be able to maximize defiantly. If you engage vertically, you may have to syndicate strategically. Think proactive. Think back-end. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-B2B. We will expand our capacity to evolve without devaluing our aptitude to facilitate. Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for managing unplanned-for mindshare? Without appropriate web services, media sourcing are forced to become B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be 24/7? At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we realize how to transform virally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Without adequate aggregation, supply-chains are forced to become best-of-breed. It sounds discombobulating, but it's accurate! The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Think dot-com, virtual, proactive, co-branded. Without meticulously-planned platforms, web-readiness are forced to become robust. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? We will integrate the capacity of applications to cultivate. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and HTTP. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of world-class cross-platform Total Quality Management. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. Imagine a combination of PGP and Apache. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our re-purposing but our capability to innovate. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B? Without methodologies, you will lack channels. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent have come to know that it is better to reinvent seamlessly than to drive strategically. Is it more important for something to be strategic, dynamic or to be revolutionary? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our web services but our aptitude to drive. Without user interfaces, you will lack raw bandwidth. We will brand the ability of metrics to enable. Without user communities, you will lack performance. What does the industry jargon "interfaces" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and J2EE. Think intra-customer-directed. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed scheme for monitoring unplanned-for media sourcing?