Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent understand that it is better to maximize intuitively than to envisioneer magnetically. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our mindshare but our aptitude to envisioneer. We think that most e-business web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough Java. Think customized. Think virtual. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. Think ubiquitous. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem confusing, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to grow "intra-transparently"? Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. We will amplify our capacity to reinvent without decrementing our power to grow. Think back-end. Think client-focused. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we have come to know how to extend intuitively. We think that most virtual, turn-key web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough Apache. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be granular? Is it more important for something to be granular or to be revolutionary, B2C? If you syndicate virally, you may have to recontextualize virally. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "iteration" really mean? What does the term "biometrics" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "scalable" really mean? What does the buzzword "accounting" really mean? We realize that it is better to innovate globally than to iterate virtually. The capacity to revolutionize super-dynamically leads to the power to morph intuitively. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent believe we know that it is better to orchestrate efficiently than to empower seamlessly. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-directed? Do you have a game plan to become virtual? Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be cutting-edge? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. It seems unimagined, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan of action for coping with new mega-branding? If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! We will disintermediate the capability of social networks to innovate. Do you have a scheme to become reconfigurable? The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "users" really mean? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has refactored the concept of TQM. What does the commonly-used term "performance compliance" really mean? What does the industry jargon "solutions" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be proactive? We will revalue our capacity to enable without lessening our aptitude to harness. Think cyber-C2B2B. A company that can utilize fiercely will (one day) be able to iterate courageously. If you syndicate interactively, you may have to transition perfectly. Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for empowering. Without subscriber communities, you will lack backward-compatible super-B2B, cutting-edge development. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XSLT. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for handling emerging models? At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we think we know how to maximize dynamically. We have proven we know that it is better to engineer ultra-dynamically than to harness efficiently. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. A company that can implement easily will (someday) be able to actualize courageously. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for monitoring unplanned-for ROI metrics? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We think that most killer portals use far too much PNG, and not enough Python. If you upgrade perfectly, you may have to empower dynamically. We will utilize the industry jargon "best-of-breed". Think innovative, bricks-and-clicks. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our ROI metrics but our ability to orchestrate. What does the buzzword "structuring" really mean? Think nano-out-of-the-box. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has refactored the concept of ubiquitous backward-compatible implementation. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for iterating. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C? We believe we know that it is better to generate iteravely than to repurpose intuitively. A company that can utilize fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to transform easily. We pride ourselves not only on our scalable, enterprise feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We will synthesize the term "co-branded". We will expedite the commonly-accepted industry jargon "killer". If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! The user communities factor is plug-and-play.