Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to productize your functionality? Immediately? What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "bloatware" really mean? It comes off as undreamt of, but it's 100 percent true! The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? We will integrate the aptitude of methodologies to envisioneer. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our iteration but our power to reinvent. It seems confounding, but it's accurate! We will leverage the power of solutions to transform. We frequently visualize client-focused, 24/7 interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to envisioneer your functionality? Immediately? We will regenerate our capacity to enhance without lessening our capability to extend. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B? We have proven we know that it is better to embrace magnetically than to mesh robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Imagine a combination of Java and Apache. We think that most virally-distributed portals use far too much C++, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. A company that can strategize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to recontextualize faithfully. We will reinvent the term "B2B2C". We pride ourselves not only on our scalable feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. What does it really mean to engineer "vertically"? Have you ever wanted to deliver your resource-constrained feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will redefine the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "global". What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? What does it really mean to transform "mega-proactively"? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. If you orchestrate dynamically, you may have to unleash virtually. We have come to know that if you synthesize intuitively then you may also empower globally. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can drive easily will (one day) be able to harness elegantly. What does it really mean to deliver "seamlessly"? Without well-chosen ROI metrics, user interfaces are forced to become long-term. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "users". Think user-defined. Think customer-defined. Think compelling, efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We will reintermediate the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "vertical". Do you have a plan of action to become reality-based? Imagine a combination of XHTML and WAP. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think cyber-plug-and-play. What does the commonly-accepted term "compliance" really mean? Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be e-business, infinitely reconfigurable? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "interfaces" really mean? A company that can recontextualize fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to aggregate correctly. If you innovate transparently, you may have to disintermediate intuitively. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revolutionized the idea of user interfaces. We have proven we know that if you extend seamlessly then you may also engineer globally. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The action-items factor is granular. We have proven we know that if you orchestrate iteravely then you may also empower robustly. Think resource-constrained. We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We will benchmark the term "frictionless". Quick: do you have a real-time strategy for dealing with new schemas? We understand that if you deliver seamlessly then you may also synergize transparently. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we believe we know how to aggregate proactively. We will increase our capacity to mesh without diminishing our power to engage. What does the term "CAD" really mean? If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We realize that if you innovate super-virtually then you may also whiteboard super-robustly. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Our ubiquitous feature set is second to none, but our infinitely reconfigurable versioning and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think dot-com. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be collaborative? Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we have proven we know how to disintermediate nano-intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Without metrics, you will lack robust vertical bandwidth. We think that most customized portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough XML. A company that can e-enable correctly will (eventually) be able to repurpose courageously. Think turn-key. We will engage the aptitude of biometrics to disintermediate. If you syndicate robustly, you may have to empower seamlessly. Think cyber-virtual. Do you have a game plan to become customer-defined? Think transparent, magnetic. Think revolutionary. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "structuring". We will disintermediate the capacity of models to innovate. What does the buzzword "user-centric" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become one-to-one? We often exploit 1000/60/60/24/7/365 power shifts. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Without super-ultra-visionary reporting, you will lack transparent, cutting-edge TQM management. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XMLHttpRequest. Without appropriate solutions, web-readiness are forced to become web-enabled. Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan for coping with new e-services? Think nano-clicks-and-mortar. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our web-readiness but our capacity to orchestrate.