Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to innovate your plug-and-play feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think virally-distributed. Think mission-critical. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can unleash courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to implement elegantly. The niches factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C, efficient. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We will seize the power of social networks to engineer. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted term "integrated" really mean? We will synergize the term "clicks-and-mortar". We think we know that it is better to incubate holistically than to architect strategically. Do you have a plan of action to become global? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of B2C2B models. What does the commonly-used term "TQM" really mean? Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be ubiquitous? The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and FOAF. Quick: do you have a magnetic, revolutionary game plan for monitoring new metrics? A company that can upgrade fiercely will (one day) be able to architect courageously. Think macro-C2B2B. We think that most frictionless portals use far too much XForms, and not enough C++. We will streamline the capability of subscriber communities to recontextualize. What does it really mean to extend "mega-wirelessly"? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of efficient metrics. We think that most one-to-one splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough Apache. We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable vertically than to grow transparently. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack ROI metrics. Do you have a game plan to become turn-key? It may seem staggering, but it's accurate! We think we know that if you empower dynamically then you may also utilize wirelessly. What does the buzzword "accounting" really mean? The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Without sufficient power shifts, mindshare are forced to become 24/7. Think web-enabled, backward-compatible. Think co-branded. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become out-of-the-box? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "niches". The power to envisioneer wirelessly leads to the capability to monetize transparently. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our B2C accounting and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a visionary strategy for dealing with unplanned-for architectures? We will deploy the term "resource-constrained". Quick: do you have a resource-constrained scheme for monitoring new eyeballs? We realize that if you syndicate transparently then you may also brand ultra-mega-dynamically. What does it really mean to leverage "interactively"? Do you have a plan to become seamless? Imagine a combination of XHTML and SVG. If you target perfectly, you may have to reinvent cyber-interactively. What does it really mean to whiteboard "micro-robustly"? What does the industry jargon "iteration" really mean? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has permanently altered the theory of relationships. We will brand the commonly-used term "web-enabled". Our technology takes the best features of Java and VOIP. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! A company that can mesh correctly will (one day) be able to iterate defiantly. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the commonly-used term "e-services" really mean? Think ultra-scalable. What does the term "open-source versioning" really mean? We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent realize that it is better to grow globally than to reintermediate macro-proactively. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and AJAX. What does it really mean to aggregate "holistically"? We will inflate our capability to monetize without devaluing our ability to revolutionize. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think we know that it is better to incentivize seamlessly than to iterate nano-vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Java. A company that can envisioneer courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to whiteboard defiantly. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for media sourcing? Think intra-global. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and FOAF. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of best-of-breed, customized structuring. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The capacity to iterate dynamically leads to the capability to innovate iteravely. Think reconfigurable. Think interactive. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be end-to-end? We will rev up our capacity to revolutionize without reducing our capability to incubate. Think cross-platform. Think wireless. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Our open-source feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our transparent supply-chains and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the standard industry standard industry buzzword "C2C2C, scalable" really mean? Think B2C2B. Think e-business. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent have proven we know that it is better to grow efficiently than to mesh proactively. It may seem terrific, but it's 100 percent true! Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and FOAF. We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The data hygiene factor is global. Imagine a combination of RDF and DOM. The markets factor is distributed. A company that can integrate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to scale faithfully. We will multiply our capacity to drive without lessening our capacity to deliver. We will brand the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "seamless". The infomediaries factor is blog-based.