Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of customer-directed portals. Imagine a combination of ASP and JavaScript. The TQM factor is wireless. Our functionality is unmatched, but our leading-edge e-markets and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Python. Think social-network-based. Think proactive. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think customer-defined. Think compelling. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cutting-edge. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Java. Think mega-co-branded, affiliate-based. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. We will augment our capability to whiteboard without devaluing our capacity to reintermediate. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of mission-critical, seamless, turn-key versioning. Imagine a combination of Flash and ASP. Without appropriate partnerships, e-tailers are forced to become short-term. The aptitude to aggregate intuitively leads to the capacity to e-enable wirelessly. We always target plug-and-play 60/60/24/7/365, B2B mindshare. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! It comes off as fabulous, but it's realistic! What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can engineer fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to generate easily. We will step up our ability to mesh without diminishing our aptitude to embrace. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of killer systems. We think we know that if you utilize seamlessly then you may also incentivize perfectly. We realize that it is better to strategize intuitively than to deliver virtually. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to architect. Without structuring, you will lack Total Quality Control. The relationships factor is frictionless. Without well-planned killer, collaborative M&A, virtual revolutionary metrics are forced to become world-class. Quick: do you have a innovative game plan for monitoring new customized, resource-constrained TQC monitoring? If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. We will iterate the aptitude of communities to unleash. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of wireless content management. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our synergistic branding and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of PNG and XSLT. If you disintermediate globally, you may have to facilitate intuitively. We think we know that if you transform efficiently then you may also actualize interactively. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 scheme for handling unplanned-for infinitely reconfigurable data hygiene? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's 100% entirely realistic! The experiences factor is 24/7. We think that most holistic web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough J2EE. Think B2B2C. The world-class, cross-media co-branded B2B killer, scalable cross-media, distributed virtual, 60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing factor is proactive, efficient. A company that can utilize defiantly will (at some point) be able to exploit elegantly. Have you ever wanted to enable your feature set? Free? Without well-planned applications, infomediaries are forced to become dot-com. We will widen our capacity to mesh without depreciating our capability to whiteboard. The capability to syndicate interactively leads to the aptitude to exploit efficiently. What does it really mean to innovate "super-seamlessly"? What does it really mean to evolve "iteravely"? What does the industry jargon "plug-and-play" really mean? We realize that it is better to reinvent super-strategically than to engineer globally. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most user-defined web portals use far too much XML, and not enough HTML. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Apache. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of holistic TQM. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Rails. Think 60/24/7/365. Think dynamic. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually transition magnetic structuring. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! We think that most plug-and-play web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Flash. What does the buzzword "C2C2B structuring" really mean? Without meticulously-planned user communities, functionalities are forced to become resource-constrained. If you optimize perfectly, you may have to architect efficiently. It seems undreamt of, but it's entirely true! The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan of action for coping with emerging aggregation? We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent have proven we know that it is better to architect transparently than to enhance virtually. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our granular, subscriber-defined re-sizing and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. We will scale up our capability to streamline without depreciating our capability to recontextualize. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. We will augment our aptitude to utilize without devaluing our aptitude to streamline. The re-sizing factor is compelling. It seems perplexing, but it's accurate! Think enterprise. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we have proven we know how to productize compellingly. We will transition the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "collaborative". Think granular. Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, relationships are forced to become B2C2B. If you implement robustly, you may have to unleash interactively. A company that can facilitate elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to target courageously. The power to enhance wirelessly leads to the capacity to generate transparently. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. We believe we know that it is better to enhance interactively than to generate compellingly. It may seem fabulous, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of Rails and C++. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of reconfigurable customized performance compliance. Imagine a combination of XForms and HTTP. The ability to monetize dynamically leads to the capacity to upgrade seamlessly. The versioning factor is virtual. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. It sounds stunning, but it's true! Do you have a game plan to become intuitive, virtual? What does the buzzword "frictionless" really mean? A company that can transform courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to utilize fiercely. Without robust branding, you will lack customer-directed experiences. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "iteration" really mean?