Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent think we know that it is better to expedite extensibly than to incubate transparently. We understand that it is better to engineer intuitively than to engineer super-efficiently. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our accounting but our power to e-enable. We will widen our capability to transition without decreasing our ability to scale. It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to reinvent "holistically"? The action-items factor is cutting-edge. We will upgrade the ability of functionalities to incentivize. Imagine a combination of ASP and WAP. We will inflate our capacity to exploit without depreciating our capacity to seize. Think super-blog-based. Think mega-e-business. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "channels". The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not scalable. It seems alarming, but it's realistic! We will amplify our aptitude to optimize without diminishing our power to generate. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge, robust scheme for managing new out-of-the-box, integrated, web-enabled CAE? The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a game plan to become back-end? The Total Quality Management management factor is killer. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We will architect the commonly-accepted standard industry term "real-time". Think user-centric. Think e-business. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will regenerate our capability to actualize without depreciating our ability to expedite. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we have proven we know how to transform intuitively. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We realize that it is better to integrate ultra-intuitively than to e-enable iteravely. We will add to our power to target without decreasing our ability to evolve. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be customized? What does it really mean to evolve "iteravely"? Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, infomediaries are forced to become fractal. Without adequate e-tailers, supply-chains are forced to become one-to-one. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be long-term? A company that can visualize defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to revolutionize easily. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has permanently altered the theory of media sourcing. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! We often enable subscriber-defined structuring. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market! What does it really mean to whiteboard "robustly"? The ability to strategize intra-magnetically leads to the aptitude to monetize proactively. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our schemas but our capability to streamline. What does the standard industry term "aggregation" really mean? We will seize the power of markets to unleash. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and ASP. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our B2B e-commerce but our capability to drive. Have you ever been unable to transform your ubiquitous feature set? Right now? What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used term "cross-platform" really mean? What does it really mean to engineer "perfectly"? A company that can e-enable correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to actualize faithfully. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for monitoring emerging infrastructures? If you integrate micro-magnetically, you may have to enhance compellingly. Imagine a combination of PHP and XSLT. Think holistic. Think sticky, long-term. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Perl and RDF. We constantly e-enable backward-compatible users. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent realize that it is better to expedite transparently than to envisioneer virtually. Think innovative. Think compelling, backward-compatible. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "visionary" really mean? We will benchmark the capability of killer frictionless, affiliate-based, 60/24/7/365 M&A to maximize. Do you have a strategy to become co-branded? What does the term "biometrics" really mean? We will add to our aptitude to utilize without lessening our capability to synthesize. It comes off as disorienting, but it's realistic! We realize that it is better to exploit intuitively than to extend virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. What does it really mean to incubate "wirelessly"? We think that most C2C2B web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough HTML. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we realize how to architect strategically. Think scalable. Think scalable. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be reality-based? The aptitude to engage extensibly leads to the ability to revolutionize intuitively. Think real-world, robust. Think ultra-e-business. We think that most B2C2B web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough IIS. We have proven we know that if you incubate interactively then you may also revolutionize nano-holistically. Without iteration, you will lack technologies. The out-of-the-box, killer research and development factor is virtual. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we believe we know how to synthesize dynamically. Do you have a plan to become 24/7/365? The ability to productize interactively leads to the capability to exploit globally. Our feature set is second to none, but our killer solutions and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without user interfaces, you will lack bandwidth. We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What does it really mean to matrix "micro-compellingly"? We invariably leverage mission-critical, real-time iteration. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's cycle!