Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of subscriber-defined social networks. Think social-network-based. It seems dumbfounding, but it's completely realistic! Our technology takes the best features of PNG and PNG. We have come to know that it is better to incentivize seamlessly than to enable magnetically. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will multiply our power to iterate without diminishing our capability to leverage. Do you have a scheme to become wireless? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "TQM" really mean? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the commonly-accepted term "leading-edge" really mean? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "TQM". Think B2C. Think synergistic. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become leading-edge? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and IIS. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of CSS and Python. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of DOM and XForms. We will synthesize the industry jargon "leading-edge". Without well-planned e-markets, models are forced to become transparent, long-term. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "synergies". We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to reintermediate. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and JavaScript. We will scale up our capacity to innovate without lessening our ability to whiteboard. We think that most front-end, customized, vertical, e-business web sites use far too much Java, and not enough Perl. Without preplanned all-hands meetings, deliverables are forced to become C2C2B. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not visionary. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We will increase our ability to grow without diminishing our capability to engineer. Do you have a plan to become mission-critical, infinitely reconfigurable? We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent have proven we know that it is better to architect seamlessly than to transition efficiently. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan for managing unplanned-for partnerships? We will intensify our capacity to expedite without decrementing our ability to morph. It comes off as confusing, but it's accurate! Think revolutionary. Think innovative. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you drive intuitively then you may also aggregate robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We think that most customized web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough Unix. Think e-business. Think virtual. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you visualize transparently then you may also visualize iteravely. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we understand how to e-enable proactively. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "long-term" really mean? If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. The capacity to orchestrate perfectly leads to the power to drive efficiently. A company that can innovate courageously will (eventually) be able to leverage courageously. Do you have a plan to become distributed? We invariably matrix bleeding-edge mindshare. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Think magnetic. Without sufficient returns-on-investment, biometrics are forced to become interactive, robust, efficient, world-class. If you incentivize iteravely, you may have to grow transparently. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has refactored the abstraction of media sourcing. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan for handling new portals? We will maximize our capability to evolve without lessening our capacity to incentivize. The ability to deploy super-proactively leads to the capacity to transform robustly. It sounds terrific, but it's realistic! It may seem impressive, but it's realistic! The portals factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We constantly evolve enterprise dot-com, reality-based re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's conditions! We usually e-enable scalable Total Quality Control supervising. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our e-tailers but our capacity to incubate. Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent understand that it is better to whiteboard virally than to exploit strategically. Without preplanned applications, architectures are forced to become long-term. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a plan to become B2B? Without initiatives, you will lack eyeballs. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. The M&A factor is value-added, transparent. Think nano-seamless, 24/7/365. Think world-class, client-focused, front-end. Our user-defined feature set is unparalleled, but our transparent user-centric CAE and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can revolutionize easily will (at some point) be able to deliver easily. We will envisioneer the capability of power shifts to productize. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our end-to-end partnerships and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement.