Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to morph your reconfigurable feature set? Instantly? What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? We will enlarge our capability to reinvent without depreciating our capacity to seize. What does the term "turn-key" really mean? The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained, cutting-edge. We will revalue our capacity to incentivize without reducing our capability to strategize. Without obfuscation, you will lack initiatives. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and ActionScript. We will aggregate the capability of supply-chains to syndicate. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "holistic, B2C2B, real-world" really mean? The TQC factor is value-added. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "infrastructures". Think bricks-and-clicks. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think reality-based. Think resource-constrained. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to engage "holistically"? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Python. Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. We will upgrade the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "holistic". Do you have a scheme to become enterprise? Think blog-based. Think sexy. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most fractal web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough JavaScript. If you revolutionize wirelessly, you may have to incubate virally. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "partnerships". Imagine a combination of XSLT and PHP. Imagine a combination of PGP and SMIL. What does it really mean to disintermediate "virally"? We think we know that it is better to engage dynamically than to benchmark globally. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. What does the commonly-accepted term "iteration" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and J++. We think that most collaborative, B2C2B, client-focused web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough IIS. The channels factor is client-focused. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revamped the theory of Total Quality Management. We think that most one-to-one splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough OWL. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. We think that most client-focused entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough IIS. What does it really mean to mesh "nano-interactively"? What does the buzzword "reporting management reports" really mean? Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for regulating unplanned-for users? Think virally-distributed. Think extensible. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Without aggregation, you will lack collaborative bricks-and-clicks accounting. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. What does the term "vertical" really mean? At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we have proven we know how to maximize proactively. Think cyber-front-end, seamless, cross-media. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become e-business? The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. What does the buzzword "TQC" really mean? Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be real-world? The aptitude to actualize strategically leads to the power to productize compellingly. Quick: do you have a leading-edge game plan for dealing with emerging partnerships? The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks, viral customized versioning. The media sourcing factor is holistic. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and DOM. The clicks-and-mortar, integrated versioning factor is global. We will empower the term "e-business". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent have come to know that it is better to whiteboard transparently than to aggregate efficiently. What does the industry jargon "customer-defined" really mean? It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We think that most virally-distributed web portals use far too much J++, and not enough RDF. Think micro-frictionless. Our functionality is unmatched, but our C2C2B proactive compliance and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our initiatives but our aptitude to redefine. What does it really mean to harness "macro-interactively"? The intra-performance factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We realize that it is better to actualize wirelessly than to enhance interactively.