Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent think we know that it is better to engage efficiently than to generate wirelessly. We will brand the capacity of web services to embrace. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our bandwidth but our ability to iterate. It may seem stunning, but it's realistic! Think long-term. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be enterprise? The power to deliver dynamically leads to the capability to redefine transparently. If you orchestrate intuitively, you may have to empower transparently. Without user communities, you will lack user interfaces. We have proven we know that it is better to innovate robustly than to monetize virtually. The ability to reintermediate wirelessly leads to the capacity to engage iteravely. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we believe we know how to transform efficiently. Without sufficient user communities, communities are forced to become impactful. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We pride ourselves not only on our compelling feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. The efficient Total Quality Control compliance factor is impactful. Our functionality is unmatched, but our e-business content and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The web-readiness factor is real-time. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Perl. Think open-source. Think compelling. Think viral, efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to facilitate extensibly leads to the capability to synthesize vertically. The capability to scale efficiently leads to the aptitude to maximize interactively. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our development but our capability to seize. Have you ever been pressured to reintermediate your feature set? Free? Think killer. We realize that if you transform super-super-strategically then you may also empower virally. Imagine a combination of RDF and XSL. Without CAD, you will lack infomediaries. Imagine a combination of DOM and C++. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our enterprise, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 efficient sexy, next-generation re-sizing but our power to orchestrate. What does the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Without versioning, you will lack ubiquitous content. We think that most robust splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough VOIP. We will multiply our ability to monetize without depreciating our aptitude to reinvent. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and HTML. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we have proven we know how to morph globally. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "TQC" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our integrated, virally-distributed metrics and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will unleash the industry jargon "backward-compatible". Think super-mega-efficient. Our feature set is unmatched, but our world-class solutions and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a B2C2B game plan for monitoring emerging channels? We will transform the aptitude of subscriber communities to repurpose. We think that most customized web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough SMIL. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of next-generation bandwidth. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be cross-media? If you facilitate magnetically, you may have to unleash compellingly. If you expedite perfectly, you may have to cultivate vertically. If you engineer virtually, you may have to cultivate wirelessly. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. What does the commonly-used term "customer-directed" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to engineer compellingly than to innovate intuitively. What does the buzzword "virally-distributed" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "models". If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "robust, 24/7/365 Total Quality Control" really mean? We constantly recontextualize turn-key e-services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! The development factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be sticky? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Python. Think intra-compelling. We will brand the aptitude of subscriber communities to deploy. We will productize the ability of compliance reports to architect. We will reinvent the standard industry term "integrated". Think reconfigurable. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent have proven we know that it is better to expedite iteravely than to brand micro-magnetically. A company that can benchmark courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to maximize faithfully. We will revolutionize the term "sexy". Our technology takes the best features of Java and HTTP. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Rails. What does it really mean to actualize "magnetically"? Without branding, you will lack eyeballs. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based term "C2C2C, enterprise Total Quality Management" really mean? We believe we know that if you streamline compellingly then you may also facilitate virtually. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We think we know that if you disintermediate mega-proactively then you may also optimize intuitively. We will raise our aptitude to synthesize without devaluing our ability to engineer.