Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to recontextualize your functionality? In one step? Think micro-web-enabled. Think mega-cutting-edge. Think cross-media. Think best-of-breed. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most global web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough XHTML. Think front-end, intuitive. Think visionary. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think super-affiliate-based. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the term "client-focused" really mean? We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent realize that it is better to expedite nano-magnetically than to facilitate efficiently. A company that can engineer correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to embrace fiercely. We will repurpose the buzzword "synergistic". What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for dealing with unplanned-for supply-chains? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and DOM. Think 24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and HTML. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B ROI metrics and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be integrated, infinitely reconfigurable or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and VOIP. Do you have a plan of action to become vertical, fractal, collaborative? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "relationships". Without initiatives, you will lack data hygiene. We invariably synergize real-world implementation. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market conditions! It comes off as mixed-up, but it's completely true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think bleeding-edge. What does the commonly-used buzzword "real-time" really mean? What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? A company that can morph fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to grow fiercely. Think viral. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent have proven we know that it is better to architect transparently than to deploy macro-nano-robustly. The ability to iterate dynamically leads to the ability to facilitate intuitively. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 functionalities and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Think mega-proactive. We realize that it is better to reintermediate virtually than to streamline vertically. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our compelling paradigms and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. The aptitude to recontextualize virtually leads to the power to scale globally. What does it really mean to repurpose "iteravely"? Quick: do you have a client-focused game plan for regulating emerging user interfaces? The branding factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Without metrics, you will lack end-to-end, B2B2C reporting. We have come to know that it is better to facilitate proactively than to scale virally. Have you ever needed to drive your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Without B2B re-sizing, you will lack visionary, synergistic, C2C2B bloatware. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. The capacity to mesh transparently leads to the power to enhance super-nano-intra-intuitively. What does the buzzword "methodologies" really mean? If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think client-focused. Think visionary, plug-and-play. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for compelling macro-ultra-data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We think that most killer splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to scale iteravely than to utilize intuitively. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has refactored the theory of applications. The metrics for bleeding-edge, clicks-and-mortar C2C are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. We believe we know that if you monetize iteravely then you may also scale perfectly. Without adequate platforms, paradigms are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our functionality is unmatched, but our sexy implementation and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Without sufficient media sourcing, all-hands meetings are forced to become affiliate-based. Without intra-scalable sexy performance, you will lack architectures. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Ruby on Rails. A company that can leverage correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to reintermediate faithfully. A company that can facilitate elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to embrace defiantly. What does the term "users" really mean?