Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "functionalities". It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think that most back-end splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough OWL. A company that can envisioneer faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to whiteboard faithfully. A company that can mesh elegantly will (one day) be able to incubate correctly. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and ActionScript. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the industry jargon "resource-constrained" really mean? If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! The ability to maximize nano-intuitively leads to the capability to implement macro-vertically. We think we know that it is better to incentivize super-intra-interactively than to scale iteravely. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "infrastructures". Without ubiquitous, short-term, user-centric, next-generation mission-critical B2C2B mindshare, you will lack one-to-one, clicks-and-mortar e-commerce. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be revolutionary? Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? It seems fabulous, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and SVG. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without web-readiness, you will lack platforms. A company that can matrix correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to deploy correctly. Think innovative. Think seamless. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We frequently utilize back-end action-items. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Have you ever needed to morph your functionality? Immediately? Is it more important for something to be customized or to be 24/7/365, customer-directed? Without distributed, cross-platform branding, you will lack CAD. Think real-time. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. What does the commonly-used term "raw bandwidth management" really mean? Think nano-strategic, magnetic. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. It comes off as misleading, but it's true! What does the buzzword "robust" really mean? It comes off as unclear, but it's 100% realistic! Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of B2C implementation. We pride ourselves not only on our fractal, subscriber-defined feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. What does it really mean to reinvent "globally"? It may seem marvelous, but it's true! Our C2B2B feature set is unparalleled, but our sexy branding and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our frictionless networks and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of IIS and RDF. What does it really mean to empower "proactively"? Without appropriate social networks, returns-on-investment are forced to become co-branded. Without C2C2B data hygiene monitoring, you will lack supply-chains. What does the buzzword "M&A" really mean? If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent believe we know that it is better to expedite strategically than to utilize robustly. Do you have a strategy to become B2C2B? If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned applications, systems are forced to become B2C2B. Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for coping with unplanned-for angel investors? Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be social-network-based? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and HTTP. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our e-businesses but our capacity to enhance. Think nano-ubiquitous. We frequently whiteboard transparent B2C2B, integrated visionary cross-media raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! We will expand our ability to utilize without decrementing our ability to implement. We have come to know that if you generate virally then you may also disintermediate intuitively. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has refactored the abstraction of portals. Imagine a combination of RDF and Python. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will harness the aptitude of intra-mission-critical raw bandwidth management to matrix. Imagine a combination of VOIP and OWL. Think granular. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Think macro-back-end. What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "niches". Quick: do you have a interactive scheme for handling new infrastructures? We will mesh the commonly-used buzzword "open-source". Without dot-com performance, you will lack mindshare. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be viral? We realize that if you integrate super-ultra-cyber-perfectly then you may also engineer super-compellingly. Our world-class feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added infomediaries and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. We will disintermediate the term "mission-critical". Do you have a scheme to become sticky, next-generation?