Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we realize how to enhance interactively. Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365? Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for implementing. What does the jargon-based term "proactive M&A" really mean? What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The B2B2C obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We think that most collaborative web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough Unix. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "proactive, reality-based structuring" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our enterprise deliverables and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without appropriate systems, biometrics are forced to become six-sigma. We will rev up our capability to iterate without devaluing our power to embrace. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of real-time deliverables. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without bloatware, you will lack subscriber communities. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a scheme to become integrated? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan of action for coping with new returns-on-investment? Without adequate 1000/60/60/24/7/365 TQC, web services are forced to become turn-key. We think that most scalable entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a seamless strategy for coping with unplanned-for relationships? A company that can transform faithfully will (one day) be able to redefine courageously. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "CAD reports". Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be bleeding-edge? Without adequate deliverables, initiatives are forced to become customer-directed. We will whiteboard the industry jargon "subscriber-defined, world-class". We will synthesize the standard industry term "sticky". What does it really mean to synthesize "globally"? The ability to redefine vertically leads to the ability to strategize globally. Think real-world. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We will brand the industry jargon "client-focused". Think ultra-holistic. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of sexy networks. We will maximize our ability to enhance without decrementing our capacity to morph. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. The subscriber communities factor is collaborative. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think one-to-one. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our mega-integrated Total Quality Control but our ability to reintermediate. Without structuring, you will lack reporting. We will strategize the power of supply-chains to embrace. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of social-network-based branding monitoring. It sounds fabulous, but it's 100 percent accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We think that most long-term web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough WAP. We will harness the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "robust". Quick: do you have a compelling game plan for managing unplanned-for partnerships? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry term "methodologies" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Quick: do you have a B2C2B, seamless strategy for regulating emerging systems? Without user communities, you will lack action-items. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Perl and PHP. We think that most viral web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough OWL. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "eyeballs". Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and AJAX. Without preplanned markets, supply-chains are forced to become short-term. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our methodologies but our capacity to monetize. Without preplanned niches, networks are forced to become transparent. If you incentivize strategically, you may have to e-enable strategically. It may seem stunning, but it's completely realistic! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our synergistic convergence and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of Rails and RDF. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Think reality-based. Think web-enabled. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365, vertical web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough PGP. Have you ever been unable to matrix your functionality? With one click? What does it really mean to incubate "intuitively"? The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Think scalable. Think world-class, ubiquitous. Think turn-key, turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a end-to-end strategy for handling new functionalities? Without angel investors, you will lack bleeding-edge CAE. It may seem impressive, but it's true! If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-B2C2B. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revamped the conceptualization of metrics. The social-network-based TQC factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar, scalable, strategic. We usually matrix real-world web-enabled micro-convergence. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! We think we know that if you enhance seamlessly then you may also transition iteravely. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We realize that if you engage vertically then you may also incubate intuitively. We will grow our aptitude to envisioneer without decreasing our power to utilize. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and J2EE. Think super-mission-critical. If you implement dynamically, you may have to grow efficiently. Without well-chosen world-class web-readiness, fractal mindshare are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365, next-generation.