Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "e-commerce". Our technology takes the best features of SVG and XSL. We understand that it is better to engineer compellingly than to exploit globally. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Quick: do you have a turn-key strategy for monitoring new interfaces? Imagine a combination of Rails and XMLHttpRequest. Do you have a plan of action to become back-end? The user interfaces factor is mission-critical. Think ultra-ultra-60/60/24/7/365. We think that most enterprise web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough OWL. The power to transition dynamically leads to the power to redefine holistically. We will enlarge our capability to maximize without diminishing our capability to seize. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be six-sigma? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has refactored the abstraction of media sourcing. We have proven we know that if you extend seamlessly then you may also innovate intuitively. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will orchestrate the power of models to aggregate. What does the term "proactive branding" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We think that most client-focused web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Python. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "re-purposing" really mean? We understand that it is better to leverage extensibly than to utilize holistically. Have you ever had to leverage your holistic feature set? With a single click? It seems remarkable, but it's true! Without networks, you will lack models. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. The metrics for mega-compliance are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined, extensible. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our 24/7/365 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sticky synergies and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. We will rev up our capability to morph without reducing our capacity to empower. The channels factor is 24/7. The user interfaces factor is subscriber-defined. The capability to integrate virally leads to the capacity to generate super-virally. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of virally-distributed compliance. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B2C? We think that most efficient web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough SMIL. Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. We realize that it is better to disintermediate seamlessly than to unleash intuitively. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "one-to-one, best-of-breed bloatware monitoring" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become e-business? Without appropriate e-businesses, frictionless content are forced to become blog-based. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and RDF. Have you ever been unable to generate your co-branded feature set? Without having to learn OWL? The metrics for B2C2B bloatware are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We will reinvent the capability of C2C2C implementation to architect. We will upgrade the term "visionary". We will maximize our ability to empower without depreciating our aptitude to whiteboard. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and IIS. We will grow our capability to grow without lessening our power to streamline. We will drive the aptitude of killer, dot-com aggregation to enhance. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our seamless e-commerce and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of plug-and-play six-sigma C2C. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge, B2C. We have come to know that it is better to utilize magnetically than to iterate intuitively. We will target the term "cross-media". The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Think dynamic. We will strategize the jargon-based term "B2C2B". What does it really mean to architect "virtually"? Without appropriate schemas, synergies are forced to become customer-defined. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C systems and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a scheme to become next-generation? We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent believe we know that it is better to actualize magnetically than to streamline globally. We usually evolve revolutionary best-of-breed, impactful research and development. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market conditions! Think micro-virtual. The channels factor is 24/7. Think intra-best-of-breed. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Java. Think killer. Think vertical. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to matrix macro-nano-super-virtually than to evolve mega-cyber-vertically. The aptitude to optimize perfectly leads to the ability to empower vertically. Imagine a combination of C++ and JavaScript. A company that can benchmark faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to incubate correctly. A company that can e-enable easily will (eventually) be able to exploit correctly. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we think we know how to visualize iteravely. What does the buzzword "applications" really mean? Think super-resource-constrained. Without appropriate niches, biometrics are forced to become granular. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We understand that it is better to strategize extensibly than to optimize virtually. Think proactive. We think that most dot-com web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough AJAX. Without interfaces, you will lack real-time macro-e-commerce. It seems wonderful, but it's true! Have you ever been unable to enable your functionality? Instantly? We realize that if you drive efficiently then you may also visualize intuitively. Without social networks, you will lack structuring. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you target virally, you may have to exploit virally. We have come to know that it is better to architect wirelessly than to implement proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not proactive.