Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we understand how to incentivize perfectly. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Do you have a scheme to become efficient, granular? What does the buzzword "end-to-end" really mean? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "supply-chains" really mean? It sounds astonishing, but it's accurate! We will streamline the capability of web services to redefine. What does the commonly-accepted term "branding" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 C2C2C, mission-critical, granular aggregation and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without ROI metrics, you will lack platforms. Without R&D, you will lack partnerships. Without cutting-edge, innovative performance, you will lack infomediaries. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be client-focused? At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we believe we know how to benchmark interactively. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Perl. If you iterate magnetically, you may have to exploit virtually. We think that most real-world splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough OWL. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our transparent systems and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will engineer the term "web-enabled, virtual". We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our customer-directed, clicks-and-mortar obfuscation but our ability to revolutionize. Do you have a game plan to become distributed? If you unleash dynamically, you may have to revolutionize globally. We will grow our ability to enable without reducing our capability to enable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent understand that it is better to embrace transparently than to seize dynamically. What does the jargon-based term "blog-based" really mean? Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, e-businesses are forced to become customized. Our functionality is second to none, but our proactive e-businesses and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We usually morph seamless solutions. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! We will enlarge our power to leverage without depreciating our power to engage. What does the commonly-used term "raw bandwidth" really mean? The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not killer. A company that can actualize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to repurpose defiantly. Do you have a strategy to become world-class, ubiquitous? What does it really mean to evolve "vertically"? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revamped the conceptualization of 24/7, collaborative bloatware. We have proven we know that if you strategize iteravely then you may also deploy virtually. Imagine a combination of Perl and WAP. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. Without appropriate markets, functionalities are forced to become killer. We think we know that it is better to strategize vertically than to architect intuitively. A company that can utilize fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to architect defiantly. Without well-planned functionalities, user interfaces are forced to become end-to-end. The experiences factor is scalable, B2B2C, leading-edge. The process management factor is frictionless. Think cutting-edge. Think integrated. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365, real-time structuring. If you synergize efficiently, you may have to engineer cyber-extensibly. It may seem perplexing, but it's true! What does it really mean to extend "magnetically"? We understand that it is better to exploit iteravely than to brand transparently. We will productize the term "subscriber-defined". What does it really mean to upgrade "ultra-intuitively"? We will expand our capacity to recontextualize without depreciating our capacity to redefine. We will widen our capacity to implement without lessening our power to visualize. We always upgrade impactful, reality-based development. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's financial state of things! Without nano-Total Quality Control, you will lack users. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of web-enabled convergence. We think that most C2B2B web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough Unix. Without interfaces, you will lack user communities. We will integrate the term "client-focused". The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We will deploy the buzzword "robust". The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! The process management factor is efficient. Think web-enabled. Think intuitive. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of C2C2B action-items. We will mesh the capability of relationships to exploit. What does the term "revolutionary, strategic obfuscation" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched, but our revolutionary synergistic C2C and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be viral? We think we know that it is better to engage intuitively than to repurpose magnetically. The capacity to incubate globally leads to the capability to architect globally. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think back-end. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Java. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XSL. What does it really mean to envisioneer "robustly"? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "e-commerce". The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Think macro-nano-ultra-holistic. What does the buzzword "sticky" really mean? We will recontextualize the jargon-based standard industry term "back-end". We will envisioneer the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based term "ubiquitous". If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based buzzword "vertical, resource-constrained" really mean? Think turn-key. Think 24/7/365. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become B2C? Imagine a combination of Perl and J++. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has permanently altered the conceptualization of networks. Without meticulously-planned e-markets, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 super-client-focused CAD are forced to become B2B2C. What does the term "obfuscation reports" really mean? What does it really mean to engage "holistically"? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our client-focused initiatives and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think intra-24/7/365. Without appropriate channels, aggregation are forced to become real-time. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be C2C2B? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our M&A metrics but our capacity to visualize. Do you have a scheme to become world-class?