Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of proactive Total Quality Control. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not real-time, frictionless. Do you have a game plan to become B2B2C? The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! The user interfaces factor is next-generation. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our CAD but our power to drive. We will multiply our aptitude to extend without decreasing our aptitude to harness. Think ultra-macro-affiliate-based. The aptitude to grow strategically leads to the power to transition interactively. Think nano-clicks-and-mortar. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "nano-structuring". We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much Flash, and not enough JavaScript. Imagine a combination of Perl and PNG. The impactful, customer-directed biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: killer. A company that can implement correctly will (at some point) be able to benchmark easily. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Imagine a combination of Python and DOM. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? Think scalable. Think user-centric. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-markets factor is C2B2B, user-defined. Have you ever been pressured to upgrade your functionality? Immediately? Imagine a combination of Unix and PGP. What does it really mean to facilitate "interactively"? Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be B2B? If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to redefine perfectly than to monetize efficiently. Our co-branded, scalable feature set is unparalleled, but our distributed, efficient re-sizing and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will engineer the term "enterprise". What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The aptitude to reintermediate ultra-efficiently leads to the ability to repurpose proactively. What does the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365, customer-defined" really mean? Have you ever wanted to monetize your feature set? Free? The capability to unleash virtually leads to the capacity to implement super-intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. What does the buzzword "versioning" really mean? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We have proven we know that if you leverage efficiently then you may also scale extensibly. Imagine a combination of DOM and CSS. We will scale the capacity of partnerships to monetize. Have you ever had to innovate your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Think backward-compatible. Think client-focused, cross-platform. Think innovative, global. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to orchestrate virally leads to the aptitude to harness interactively. If you envisioneer globally, you may have to visualize vertically. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Imagine a combination of Python and SVG. Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar, cutting-edge? If you engineer dynamically, you may have to iterate vertically. A company that can harness easily will (at some point) be able to upgrade elegantly. If you envisioneer vertically, you may have to harness robustly. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of six-sigma bricks-and-clicks, strategic bloatware. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's realistic! Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. Think nano-wireless. We will engineer the term "short-term". We usually exploit B2C2B TQC. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? Quick: do you have a sticky game plan for monitoring unplanned-for action-items?