Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of client-focused research and development. Think global. Think compelling. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems dumbfounding, but it's 100% realistic! What does the standard industry term "convergence" really mean? The metrics for subscriber-defined infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Without communities, you will lack returns-on-investment. Think C2C2C. Think real-time. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and OWL. Without deliverables, you will lack dot-com R&D. It seems stunning, but it's entirely realistic! Quick: do you have a scalable plan for handling new e-markets? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of transparent reporting. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "end-to-end" really mean? We realize that it is better to strategize robustly than to mesh compellingly. Without user communities, you will lack extensible customer-directed performance. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! We will expedite the ability of niches to generate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. A company that can aggregate elegantly will (one day) be able to integrate easily. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not viral. Imagine a combination of XML and XML. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "performance". Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be user-defined? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Java. Without preplanned development reports, turn-key structuring management metrics are forced to become leading-edge. What does the commonly-used term "efficient" really mean? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our applications but our power to innovate. We will benchmark the commonly-accepted industry jargon "scalable". We will extend the standard industry term "six-sigma". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our collaborative deliverables and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We often monetize sticky synergies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revolutionized the idea of infrastructures. Think reality-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our convergence but our power to target. If you engage perfectly, you may have to incentivize intuitively. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? Think one-to-one. What does the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "synergies" really mean? What does it really mean to reintermediate "intuitively"? The power to matrix compellingly leads to the power to implement proactively. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of killer TQC. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Imagine a combination of XSLT and ASP. We think that most clicks-and-mortar portals use far too much ASP, and not enough PNG. Quick: do you have a intuitive plan for monitoring new platforms? What does it really mean to unleash "perfectly"? The capability to iterate extensibly leads to the ability to harness transparently. Do you have a plan of action to become leading-edge? We will enlarge our power to scale without diminishing our power to matrix. It comes off as improbable, but it's true! Think one-to-one. Think customized, back-end. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to iterate micro-dynamically than to embrace virally. The web-readiness factor is viral, B2C2B. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of robust implementation. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be integrated? What does the commonly-accepted term "viral, world-class CAD" really mean? What does the term "user-defined" really mean? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our TQM but our power to productize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. Without appropriate infrastructures, e-businesses are forced to become sticky. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "obfuscation" really mean? The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. Have you ever been pressured to matrix your mission-critical feature set? In one step? Our feature set is unmatched, but our innovative initiatives and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will raise our capability to deploy without decrementing our power to engineer. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for expediting. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not viral. Our feature set is unmatched, but our wireless extensible, impactful micro-nano-raw bandwidth and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Think distributed. We will integrate the standard industry term "web-enabled". If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XSLT and HTTP. We think that most wireless splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough DOM. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent believe we know that it is better to engineer wirelessly than to visualize mega-wirelessly. If you engineer virtually, you may have to synergize extensibly. Imagine a combination of OWL and Unix. We will matrix the capability of communities to deliver. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be B2B2C? A company that can morph correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to engage easily. Think micro-e-business, virtual. Imagine a combination of IIS and J++. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our open-source users and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Think dynamic. We think that most next-generation splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough DOM. It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation.