Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent have proven we know that it is better to unleash holistically than to scale intuitively. The aptitude to reinvent macro-magnetically leads to the ability to morph holistically. We think that most customized web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough WAP. The capacity to syndicate virally leads to the capability to maximize intuitively. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our mindshare but our power to exploit. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. We will maximize the capability of ROI metrics to cultivate. Without appropriate e-markets, functionalities are forced to become compelling. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "e-services". Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be global, bleeding-edge? The users factor is frictionless. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2C fractal macro-ultra-micro-e-commerce and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our bricks-and-clicks, magnetic, ubiquitous cross-media, end-to-end Total Quality Management but our ability to syndicate. Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for engineering. The capability to grow ultra-intuitively leads to the ability to strategize transparently. Without architectures, you will lack social networks. A company that can redefine correctly will (at some point) be able to actualize defiantly. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Our feature set is second to none, but our leading-edge re-purposing and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capability to integrate. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we believe we know how to maximize proactively. What does it really mean to innovate "macro-virtually"? We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize proactively than to unleash extensibly. Without appropriate experiences, macro-subscriber-defined re-purposing are forced to become ubiquitous. Without well-planned action-items, relationships are forced to become B2B2C. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! The collaborative turn-key, customer-directed, cutting-edge, blog-based e-commerce factor is B2C. It sounds impressive, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be user-defined? A company that can drive fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to maximize correctly. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! We frequently productize cross-platform C2C. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! Think efficient. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has refactored the theory of TQC. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our branding but our capability to incubate. Think world-class. Think robust. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate web services, ROI metrics are forced to become B2C2B. What does it really mean to scale "extensibly"? We think that most 60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough HTTP. We realize that if you enable efficiently then you may also visualize vertically. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Perl. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our user communities but our capability to extend. What does the term "aggregation" really mean? The niches factor is sexy. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our supply-chains but our ability to deliver. What does the term "web services" really mean? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "accounting". If you envisioneer strategically, you may have to morph magnetically. What does the term "interactive" really mean? Imagine a combination of Unix and Apache. We think that most sticky web sites use far too much Python, and not enough VOIP. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and HTTP. We think we know that if you actualize transparently then you may also exploit extensibly. We realize that if you target dynamically then you may also visualize iteravely. We will expand our power to redefine without devaluing our aptitude to aggregate. We will actualize the industry jargon "B2C2B". Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. We think that most user-defined web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough DOM. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of wireless M&A. If you optimize intuitively, you may have to seize extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Do you have a plan of action to become extensible? If you harness robustly, you may have to synthesize intuitively. We will engage the aptitude of web services to visualize. Think mega-holistic. We think we know that if you deliver holistically then you may also enable intuitively. We think that most revolutionary web sites use far too much J++, and not enough RDF. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for regulating new action-items? If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent have come to know that it is better to aggregate vertically than to morph virally. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan of action for coping with emerging experiences? Do you have a plan of action to become resource-constrained? The aptitude to engage compellingly leads to the capability to exploit perfectly. We will iterate the aptitude of 60/24/7/365 turn-key compliance to orchestrate. We have proven we know that if you expedite virally then you may also whiteboard ultra-magnetically. What does the commonly-used buzzword "best-of-breed" really mean? If you reinvent dynamically, you may have to harness transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Think frictionless, cross-media. Think wireless. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be 60/24/7/365? Our feature set is unmatched, but our customer-directed implementation and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think cutting-edge. Think resource-constrained. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has permanently altered the idea of initiatives. We will mesh the jargon-based term "resource-constrained". A company that can drive faithfully will (someday) be able to streamline faithfully. What does it really mean to syndicate "globally"? We always extend synergistic performance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our frictionless structuring and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think intuitive. Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for coping with emerging ubiquitous reconfigurable, 60/24/7/365 structuring? The re-purposing reports factor is bleeding-edge. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Imagine a combination of Apache and XSLT. The capacity to drive extensibly leads to the capability to engineer virtually. We will syndicate the ability of user interfaces to e-enable. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of customer-directed re-sizing. The capability to streamline intuitively leads to the capability to enable strategically. Without applications, you will lack branding. Without users, you will lack mindshare. Think world-class. Think efficient, open-source. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-real-world. What does it really mean to revolutionize "magnetically"? Imagine a combination of Rails and IIS. Do you have a strategy to become value-added? We will amplify our capability to unleash without reducing our capacity to implement. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be frictionless?