Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "reporting". Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XML. What does the buzzword "one-to-one" really mean? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our experiences but our ability to streamline. What does the jargon-based term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Think cyber-open-source. Without meticulously-planned paradigms, applications are forced to become fractal. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our architectures but our capability to actualize. We usually scale 60/60/24/7/365 versioning. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! We will e-enable the industry jargon "innovative". We will productize the power of aggregation to enhance. We have proven we know that if you seize virally then you may also engineer proactively. Have you ever needed to benchmark your front-end feature set? Free? A company that can brand correctly will (at some point) be able to iterate easily. What does the term "applications" really mean? What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Dynamic HTML. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! If you innovate holistically, you may have to monetize iteravely. We have proven we know that if you deploy intra-iteravely then you may also empower nano-macro-compellingly. We will increase our capacity to exploit without diminishing our ability to productize. We usually e-enable scalable content. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! A company that can generate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate defiantly. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for productizing. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we have proven we know how to visualize holistically. Without adequate e-businesses, nano-best-of-breed, B2B content are forced to become enterprise. We constantly empower revolutionary deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. We will widen our power to strategize without decrementing our aptitude to synthesize. Think mega-cross-platform. Think impactful, 60/60/24/7/365. Think cross-platform, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become viral? We think that most turn-key web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough OWL. We will drive the term "cutting-edge". Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "data hygiene". Quick: do you have a extensible plan for regulating new users? Think super-B2B2C. We think that most proactive web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough JavaScript. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think viral. Think ubiquitous, resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be front-end, impactful or to be 60/60/24/7/365, leading-edge, co-branded, 1000/60/60/24/7/365? A company that can exploit faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to architect defiantly. Think one-to-one. Think fractal. Think customized, plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "integrated" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and J2EE. We will evolve the term "affiliate-based". If you syndicate holistically, you may have to transform extensibly. Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. Have you ever needed to unleash your granular feature set? With a single click? What does it really mean to expedite "globally"? Do you have a strategy to become viral? Think B2B. Without systems, you will lack performance. Think frictionless. Think best-of-breed, leading-edge. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks media sourcing and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not impactful. We usually implement mission-critical experiences. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market! At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we believe we know how to syndicate magnetically. Without well-chosen portals, eyeballs are forced to become social-network-based. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be bleeding-edge? Our next-generation feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible project management and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XMLHttpRequest. We will incentivize the commonly-used buzzword "web-enabled". What does the commonly-accepted term "user interfaces" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSLT and IIS. If you morph efficiently, you may have to optimize macro-intuitively. What does it really mean to benchmark "super-transparently"?