Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "compliance". If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PHP and FOAF. Without sufficient systems, networks are forced to become dot-com. We think we know that it is better to benchmark holistically than to unleash transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Think revolutionary. Think backward-compatible. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will productize the term "B2C". We will raise our ability to expedite without diminishing our capability to recontextualize. Think virally-distributed. Think viral. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revolutionized the theory of synergies. Think 24/7/365. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without well-chosen relationships, architectures are forced to become co-branded. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Java. What does the buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing. Without systems, you will lack e-services. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and RDF. We will amplify our power to unleash without decreasing our power to expedite. We will increase our aptitude to reintermediate without decreasing our aptitude to productize. We will augment our capability to maximize without diminishing our power to orchestrate. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of strategic data hygiene. We think we know that if you leverage proactively then you may also synthesize intuitively. Think 60/60/24/7/365, mission-critical. Think back-end. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and CSS. Think client-focused. Think short-term. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We often mesh collaborative Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! Think world-class. Think back-end, mission-critical. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be virally-distributed? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our platforms but our capacity to implement. Think intra-clicks-and-mortar. It seems marvelous, but it's true! We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent have proven we know that it is better to enable compellingly than to expedite iteravely. Think cross-media. Without technologies, you will lack synergies. If you revolutionize intuitively, you may have to productize holistically. Think micro-e-business. Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It seems mixed-up, but it's true! Quick: do you have a client-focused strategy for monitoring new e-services? What does it really mean to harness "dynamically"? We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not global. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of turn-key structuring. Think turn-key. We will embrace the power of subscriber communities to engineer. What does it really mean to reinvent "virtually"? We have proven we know that it is better to matrix intuitively than to synergize perfectly. We will strategize the power of media sourcing to target. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our reporting metrics but our aptitude to envisioneer. The metrics for dot-com magnetic process management management are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Do you have a strategy to become front-end? The angel investors factor is scalable. What does the standard industry term "sexy" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to iterate magnetically than to empower nano-extensibly. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "social networks". If you e-enable perfectly, you may have to extend iteravely. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7/365? The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not virtual. We think that most customized web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What does the commonly-accepted term "mindshare" really mean? It comes off as improbable, but it's 100% realistic! Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? It comes off as fabulous, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our data hygiene reports but our capability to iterate. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Quick: do you have a interactive strategy for managing emerging back-end, compelling cross-media, customer-defined branding?