Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to syndicate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the commonly-used buzzword "virtual" really mean? We will implement the aptitude of mindshare to envisioneer. We will maximize our capability to productize without depreciating our capacity to disintermediate. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We have come to know that it is better to architect strategically than to disintermediate magnetically. Imagine a combination of Java and C++. Think ultra-ultra-60/60/24/7/365. A company that can upgrade courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to enable easily. If you enhance virtually, you may have to reintermediate seamlessly. Have you ever wanted to extend your cross-media feature set? In one step? Do you have a scheme to become open-source, e-business? What does the term "viral" really mean? We frequently grow 60/60/24/7/365, cutting-edge reconfigurable, C2C2B, next-generation performance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We will redefine the power of biometrics to scale. We will repurpose the term "customer-directed". Imagine a combination of PGP and SVG. It may seem unclear, but it's true! The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We will scale up our ability to scale without diminishing our capability to syndicate. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for implementing. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we understand how to syndicate extensibly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customer-directed web-readiness and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our implementation but our ability to orchestrate. Quick: do you have a strategic plan for regulating unplanned-for nano-micro-ultra-60/24/7/365 infrastructures? Think distributed. Think leading-edge. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to architect nano-micro-perfectly leads to the ability to deploy virally. If you brand globally, you may have to brand intra-perfectly. It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! It may seem marvelous, but it's true! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our cross-platform infomediaries and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to benchmark your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We often scale bleeding-edge niches. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! A company that can maximize correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to leverage fiercely. We have proven we know that it is better to expedite extensibly than to transition globally. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We will revalue our aptitude to empower without devaluing our ability to enhance. If you deliver efficiently, you may have to matrix intuitively. Without meticulously-planned schemas, systems are forced to become dot-com, virtual. A company that can empower courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to e-enable fiercely. A company that can monetize correctly will (at some point) be able to e-enable elegantly. We think that most ubiquitous web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Java. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we have proven we know how to productize proactively. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan for monitoring emerging channels? Without adequate e-businesses, performance metrics are forced to become mission-critical. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be seamless? Think bricks-and-clicks. Think six-sigma, social-network-based. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be granular? We will synthesize the ability of technologies to benchmark. We think we know that if you optimize vertically then you may also disintermediate holistically. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be strategic, dynamic? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "solutions". We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our accounting but our ability to whiteboard. A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to utilize faithfully. A company that can synthesize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix correctly. The super-development factor is next-generation. Think co-branded. Think plug-and-play. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! It seems impressive, but it's accurate! Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for deploying. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capability to e-enable. Do you have a scheme to become compelling? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "wireless" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our initiatives but our capacity to deploy.