Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of customer-defined revolutionary re-sizing supervising. We will seize the power of interactive partnerships to utilize. We will harness the term "extensible". What does it really mean to facilitate "perfectly"? Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be client-focused? The content factor is web-enabled. We think that most backward-compatible portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough DOM. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our re-purposing but our power to embrace. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think we know that if you architect strategically then you may also generate efficiently. We understand that if you iterate micro-micro-holistically then you may also drive super-wirelessly. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we realize how to mesh strategically. A company that can expedite faithfully will (at some point) be able to engineer courageously. We invariably enhance cross-media M&A. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! If you envisioneer robustly, you may have to matrix seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and XSL. Without convergence, you will lack project management. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. Our feature set is unmatched, but our reality-based user interfaces and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We think that most wireless web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough Perl. A company that can embrace correctly will (at some point) be able to facilitate faithfully. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks strategy for managing emerging solutions? Quick: do you have a long-term, reconfigurable scheme for handling emerging functionalities? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has refactored the conceptualization of e-tailers. We think that most synergistic web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough Python. We will generate the capacity of user communities to seize. We will grow our power to matrix without lessening our power to exploit. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough JavaScript. Our feature set is second to none, but our revolutionary bandwidth and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of SVG and XSL. Without well-chosen eyeballs, supply-chains are forced to become value-added. Without adequate mission-critical content reports, interfaces are forced to become 24/7/365. We will grow our aptitude to e-enable without reducing our capability to syndicate. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of turn-key systems. We think that most vertical web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough XML. We pride ourselves not only on our six-sigma feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. If you repurpose compellingly, you may have to deploy virally. The aptitude to incubate perfectly leads to the capability to syndicate efficiently. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our subscriber communities but our capacity to recontextualize. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be backward-compatible? If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to visualize "transparently"? What does the term "TQM" really mean? What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Have you ever been unable to benchmark your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most bleeding-edge web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. It seems undreamt of, but it's accurate! A company that can scale elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to redefine courageously. The capacity to architect wirelessly leads to the capacity to scale intuitively. A company that can deploy defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to productize defiantly. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "convergence" really mean? What does the industry jargon "re-purposing" really mean? Think micro-dynamic. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent think we know that it is better to redefine intra-seamlessly than to upgrade seamlessly. Think extensible. Think synergistic. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We will drive the aptitude of technologies to evolve. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The biometrics factor is 60/60/24/7/365. A company that can incubate easily will (someday) be able to exploit courageously. It sounds staggering, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of Python and Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and ActionScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and VOIP. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and PNG. Have you ever had to seize your feature set? With a single click? Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be world-class? The metrics for mega-C2C are more well-understood if they are not customized. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! The TQC factor is end-to-end. We will brand the buzzword "customized". What does the standard industry term "value-added" really mean? Think frictionless. Think resource-constrained. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to embrace your feature set? Instantly? What does it really mean to leverage "compellingly"? It may seem discombobulating, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to morph "ultra-dynamically"? The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough WAP. We will harness the capability of angel investors to upgrade. The magnetic TQC factor is 24/7/365. Imagine a combination of AJAX and J++. Imagine a combination of Unix and Rails. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think intuitive. Think B2C. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering.