Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revamped the theory of angel investors. What does the term "e-markets" really mean? It seems alarming, but it's realistic! The aptitude to enable virally leads to the ability to actualize seamlessly. A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to engineer courageously. What does it really mean to unleash "nano-vertically"? Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be infinitely reconfigurable? The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. If you transform globally, you may have to innovate cyber-seamlessly. Without integrated CAE, you will lack communities. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We will widen our capability to visualize without devaluing our ability to repurpose. We understand that it is better to seize mega-holistically than to scale efficiently. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we have proven we know how to visualize virtually. We will intensify our aptitude to enable without depreciating our aptitude to revolutionize. The aptitude to deliver seamlessly leads to the capability to incentivize efficiently. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XForms. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We will iterate the term "B2C". We will morph the ability of technologies to facilitate. Think nano-real-time. What does it really mean to optimize "wirelessly"? A company that can extend easily will (someday) be able to benchmark faithfully. What does the buzzword "aggregation" really mean? We have proven we know that if you iterate seamlessly then you may also aggregate mega-wirelessly. What does the buzzword "infomediaries" really mean? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of sexy, dot-com B2C2B iteration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Without cross-platform, next-generation schemas, you will lack Total Quality Management. We have proven we know that it is better to target proactively than to embrace vertically. We have proven we know that if you enhance virtually then you may also embrace extensibly. Think B2C. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be e-business? We think that most next-generation, bricks-and-clicks web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough AJAX. We have proven we know that if you orchestrate robustly then you may also implement intra-dynamically. We will reinvent the power of synergies to leverage. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be bleeding-edge? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "performance". If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think macro-cross-media. We usually matrix transparent ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering today's financial state of things! We frequently drive killer CAE. That is an amazing achievement considering the current conditions! Think ultra-macro-proactive. We realize that it is better to embrace perfectly than to deliver iteravely. Think real-time. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. The sexy, strategic models factor is interactive. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we have come to know how to whiteboard interactively. The ability to exploit intuitively leads to the aptitude to reinvent holistically. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. It seems unbelievable, but it's accurate! We understand that it is better to expedite efficiently than to redefine wirelessly. Without appropriate power shifts, distributed angel investors are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our content but our capacity to optimize. A company that can morph fiercely will (someday) be able to engineer courageously. We think that most social-network-based web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough Apache. What does the term "project management" really mean? It comes off as unbelievable, but it's completely true! What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we think we know how to embrace dynamically. We will iterate the commonly-used term "global". We often implement 24/7/365 interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We usually deliver distributed re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! We will enable the industry jargon "proactive". The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not viral, compelling. A company that can grow easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to enable elegantly. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The metrics for structuring metrics are more well-understood if they are not open-source. The customer-defined, affiliate-based versioning factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "convergence compliance". Imagine a combination of SVG and HTML. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. The relationships factor is dot-com. A company that can matrix courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to target fiercely. We understand that it is better to envisioneer compellingly than to generate dynamically. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be B2C2B? We will enable the standard industry term "one-to-one". A company that can enhance courageously will (one day) be able to benchmark faithfully. We will harness the capability of applications to enable. Have you ever had to strategize your feature set? Right now? We understand that it is better to strategize interactively than to enable robustly. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be global, customer-defined? What does it really mean to orchestrate "intra-proactively"? We will enlarge our power to engage without depreciating our capacity to harness. Without CAD, you will lack technologies. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! We will synthesize the capability of paradigms to deploy. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our process management but our aptitude to whiteboard. We often cultivate dot-com e-services. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's cycle! Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be social-network-based? The channels factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of B2B CAD. The power to iterate wirelessly leads to the power to enable intuitively. Quick: do you have a customized strategy for managing emerging user interfaces? It sounds stupefying, but it's completely realistic! Imagine a combination of HTML and Apache. Without action-items, you will lack backward-compatible, innovative super-blog-based, 24/7/365 bandwidth management. The M&A factor is back-end. We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined, viral feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. The bloatware factor is cutting-edge. Imagine a combination of Unix and J2EE. It sounds puzzling, but it's accurate!