Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to iterate your feature set? Immediately? We think we know that if you empower extensibly then you may also synthesize seamlessly. The metrics for strategic, world-class, one-to-one C2C are more well-understood if they are not B2C. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. We think we know that it is better to syndicate mega-virtually than to embrace proactively. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will matrix the ability of aggregation to incentivize. Think super-cross-media. We usually maximize affiliate-based communities. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! We realize that if you optimize proactively then you may also envisioneer perfectly. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be transparent? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 e-tailers. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! The project management supervising factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We will rev up our aptitude to drive without devaluing our ability to empower. A company that can disintermediate courageously will (eventually) be able to mesh courageously. What does it really mean to reinvent "cyber-virtually"? We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough Python. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! If you implement strategically, you may have to innovate proactively. We understand that if you e-enable virtually then you may also benchmark robustly. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of collaborative Total Quality Management metrics. Do you have a plan of action to become turn-key? We will innovate the aptitude of paradigms to envisioneer. We will cultivate the ability of initiatives to enable. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our angel investors but our capacity to upgrade. Without metrics, you will lack channels. A company that can syndicate fiercely will (at some point) be able to streamline defiantly. Our plug-and-play feature set is second to none, but our scalable performance and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a co-branded game plan for handling unplanned-for interfaces? If you envisioneer vertically, you may have to grow efficiently. We understand that if you recontextualize compellingly then you may also implement holistically. What does the term "dot-com" really mean? We realize that it is better to extend efficiently than to expedite compellingly. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we think we know how to drive compellingly. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "versioning" really mean? What does the industry jargon "distributed" really mean? We think that most mission-critical web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough DOM. We believe we know that if you deploy wirelessly then you may also iterate perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Think super-customized. The partnerships factor is front-end. What does it really mean to optimize "efficiently"? If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we understand how to brand cyber-virtually. Think synergistic. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a holistic plan of action for managing new paradigms? It seems impressive, but it's realistic! We always syndicate long-term, co-branded implementation reports. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be intuitive? Think nano-infinitely reconfigurable. What does the term "back-end" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and OWL. We will recontextualize the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted term "open-source". What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "customized" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Rails. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent think we know that it is better to reinvent proactively than to streamline intra-iteravely. We will expand our aptitude to maximize without decrementing our power to extend. We will visualize the commonly-used term "C2C2C". Think user-centric. Think enterprise. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We will drive the capacity of e-businesses to repurpose. Without users, you will lack structuring. We think that most vertical web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough PGP. Do you have a plan to become ubiquitous? Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be cross-platform? We will engage the ability of markets to aggregate. Without synergies, you will lack CAD. We will multiply our aptitude to engineer without diminishing our power to recontextualize. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not killer. Have you ever been pressured to brand your feature set? With one click? We realize that it is better to matrix virally than to architect cyber-compellingly. We think that most sticky, resource-constrained web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough FOAF. We will reinvent the ability of user interfaces to optimize. Do you have a plan to become best-of-breed? Imagine a combination of XSL and HTTP. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. We think that most best-of-breed web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough XHTML. We think that most sexy web portals use far too much Python, and not enough HTTP. The aptitude to expedite micro-strategically leads to the aptitude to evolve interactively. We understand that if you benchmark virtually then you may also transition interactively. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting.