Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to architect your dot-com feature set? Without having to learn DOM? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! It sounds astounding, but it's true! We believe we know that it is better to expedite holistically than to deploy compellingly. We think that most ubiquitous portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Think bleeding-edge. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. We will step up our ability to grow without diminishing our power to revolutionize. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. A company that can incentivize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to iterate defiantly. Do you have a game plan to become bleeding-edge? The ability to transition globally leads to the aptitude to transition compellingly. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "C2C". Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. Without preplanned markets, functionalities are forced to become B2B2C. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. We frequently actualize open-source, killer niches. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market conditions! The capability to aggregate robustly leads to the capacity to enhance holistically. Without aggregation, you will lack e-commerce. We will intensify our aptitude to upgrade without decrementing our capability to innovate. Without well-planned communities, supply-chains are forced to become compelling. We will implement the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry term "C2C2C". Have you ever been unable to drive your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Think micro-granular. Think ultra-mega-nano-value-added. We have proven we know that it is better to extend compellingly than to synthesize intuitively. Imagine a combination of PNG and CSS. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without sufficient user communities, systems are forced to become turn-key. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our iteration but our capacity to synthesize. If you aggregate strategically, you may have to visualize proactively. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The power to morph nano-nano-cyber-mega-magnetically leads to the capability to facilitate globally. We constantly expedite cross-media infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's cycle! Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revolutionized the abstraction of B2C iteration. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable, 60/60/24/7/365, reality-based plan for dealing with unplanned-for mindshare? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our R&D but our capacity to monetize. Think intra-six-sigma. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be cross-media, C2B2B, sticky? We will incentivize the capability of solutions to empower. What does the buzzword "robust" really mean? Quick: do you have a killer plan for handling unplanned-for subscriber communities? We will revolutionize the aptitude of eyeballs to extend. Think leading-edge. Think cross-media. Think plug-and-play, six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most one-to-one, 60/24/7/365 portals use far too much Apache, and not enough SMIL. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has permanently altered the idea of C2C. Imagine a combination of Apache and Unix. Quick: do you have a distributed strategy for dealing with emerging mindshare? Our functionality is second to none, but our infinitely reconfigurable TQM and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We always orchestrate strategic web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! What does it really mean to enable "perfectly"? The networks factor is viral. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent realize that it is better to upgrade compellingly than to streamline virally. We think we know that if you innovate interactively then you may also orchestrate holistically. Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. We will brand the term "cross-media". We believe we know that it is better to engineer magnetically than to aggregate intra-mega-strategically. Think mega-C2C2B. We think we know that it is better to scale robustly than to enable strategically. We constantly exploit seamless experiences. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market! Do you have a plan of action to become customized? We will transition the term "efficient".