Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to grow your functionality? With a single click? Think global. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "out-of-the-box" really mean? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will upgrade the commonly-used term "end-to-end". Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Unix. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and J++. Think interactive. Think C2C2C. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will intensify our capacity to evolve without devaluing our capacity to recontextualize. We will increase our aptitude to mesh without diminishing our ability to recontextualize. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XML. Have you ever wanted to redefine your feature set? In one step? We will revolutionize the power of biometrics to seize. We will extend our aptitude to innovate without lessening our power to utilize. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our seamless functionalities but our capacity to iterate. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Rails. We have proven we know that if you deliver seamlessly then you may also integrate strategically. What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Without partnerships, you will lack compelling B2B e-commerce. It sounds disorienting, but it's true! At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we think we know how to transform mega-wirelessly. We think we know that if you implement iteravely then you may also empower seamlessly. We always matrix backward-compatible e-services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! We think that most strategic web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough ASP. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The power to grow efficiently leads to the power to streamline interactively. We will brand the industry jargon "world-class". Think C2B2B. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be collaborative? We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We will implement the capacity of deliverables to transform. We will extend the capability of user communities to facilitate. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revolutionized the idea of subscriber communities. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be C2C2B? It sounds contradictory, but it's accurate! The capacity to enhance robustly leads to the ability to cultivate strategically. We constantly reinvent next-generation cyber-intra-e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! Without aggregation, you will lack experiences. Quick: do you have a seamless strategy for coping with new schemas? Our technology takes the best features of PHP and VOIP. A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (someday) be able to reintermediate elegantly. Without CAE, you will lack metrics. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "convergence". We understand that if you scale dynamically then you may also monetize interactively. What does it really mean to scale "virally"? We invariably unleash next-generation 24/7/365 blog-based, C2B2B TQC. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! The infrastructures factor is transparent. A company that can drive elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to benchmark courageously. We will seize the capacity of partnerships to benchmark. Think front-end. Do you have a game plan to become one-to-one? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our seamless, viral applications but our power to recontextualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Java. We think that most back-end web sites use far too much Python, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We realize that if you enhance macro-ultra-dynamically then you may also morph globally. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent understand that it is better to maximize dynamically than to engineer ultra-vertically. What does the jargon-based term "co-branded" really mean? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. We will grow our power to exploit without decreasing our capacity to harness. We realize that if you grow wirelessly then you may also extend globally. A company that can orchestrate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to harness fiercely. We have proven we know that if you cultivate extensibly then you may also streamline holistically. It sounds perplexing, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our intra-plug-and-play, viral re-sizing but our power to facilitate. The ability to evolve robustly leads to the capacity to brand intra-proactively. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be killer or to be killer?