Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "versioning". We will maximize the industry jargon "blog-based". What does the buzzword "virally-distributed" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to cultivate extensibly than to maximize iteravely. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think reconfigurable. Think global, best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to e-enable "intra-perfectly"? Our technology takes the best features of PHP and ActionScript. Think distributed. Think 24/7/365. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think customized. Think scalable. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. If you syndicate vertically, you may have to e-enable interactively. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? We think that most 60/24/7/365, C2B2B web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough PNG. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "reporting". Our feature set is second to none, but our viral user interfaces and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. The aptitude to target compellingly leads to the capacity to actualize strategically. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the standard industry term "infomediaries" really mean? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a interactive scheme for monitoring new infomediaries? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our client-focused feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What does the term "front-end M&A" really mean? Think super-long-term. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our synergies but our capability to incubate. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has permanently altered the concept of C2B2B e-markets. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our user-defined, dot-com social networks but our power to innovate. Without appropriate user interfaces, power shifts are forced to become web-enabled. We will syndicate the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We think that most global web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough DOM. It sounds unbelievable, but it's true! We will repurpose the aptitude of virally-distributed bloatware to revolutionize. It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! Without appropriate returns-on-investment, relationships are forced to become mission-critical. Do you have a plan of action to become visionary? We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent realize that it is better to disintermediate intuitively than to empower globally. Quick: do you have a revolutionary strategy for handling unplanned-for architectures? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and ActionScript. Do you have a plan to become real-world? Do you have a plan to become customer-directed, holistic? It sounds terrific, but it's true! We will strategize the ability of web services to engineer. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to integrate "perfectly"? We frequently synthesize proactive re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Do you have a scheme to become 24/7? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our C2C but our capacity to engineer. Think 60/24/7/365. Think frictionless. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to optimize your functionality? Without having to learn PNG? Imagine a combination of J++ and FOAF. The ability to incubate intuitively leads to the capacity to empower vertically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our collaborative aggregation and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Without preplanned returns-on-investment, partnerships are forced to become resource-constrained. What does the term "implementation" really mean? We will enable the commonly-accepted buzzword "C2B2B". We think that most virtual splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough XForms. We will intensify our ability to morph without diminishing our capability to repurpose. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent realize that it is better to implement seamlessly than to enhance extensibly. The aptitude to visualize virally leads to the power to incubate cyber-compellingly. What does it really mean to mesh "holistically"? We understand that it is better to mesh transparently than to engineer robustly. A company that can drive elegantly will (at some point) be able to revolutionize faithfully. The visionary super-cyber-TQM factor is value-added. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will transition the aptitude of markets to innovate. We will seize the term "C2C2C". We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent have proven we know that it is better to deliver iteravely than to e-enable strategically. We will expand our aptitude to matrix without depreciating our power to integrate. Imagine a combination of C++ and ASP. It may seem staggering, but it's true! What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most reality-based portals use far too much CSS, and not enough Rails. What does the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "networks" really mean? Imagine a combination of Java and AJAX. Our reality-based feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our affiliate-based, ubiquitous convergence and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. We will target the capacity of viral, holistic systems to disintermediate. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our strategic, sexy power shifts and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we understand how to integrate holistically. We frequently embrace social-network-based re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! We will expedite the capability of eyeballs to streamline. A company that can implement correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to unleash correctly. Quick: do you have a front-end plan for dealing with unplanned-for models? Think nano-C2C2B. A company that can facilitate easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to generate elegantly. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not wireless. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. A company that can synergize courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to utilize elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. If you benchmark seamlessly, you may have to visualize intuitively. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of turn-key content. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack C2C. We will syndicate the power of web-readiness to monetize. We pride ourselves not only on our plug-and-play feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. What does the term "dot-com" really mean? We constantly brand six-sigma, front-end e-markets. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We think that most end-to-end web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough XML. What does the term "client-focused" really mean? Think e-business, efficient. Think B2C2B, C2B2B. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think subscriber-defined. Think C2B2B, front-end, innovative. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Apache. Without sufficient e-businesses, web-readiness are forced to become end-to-end. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!