Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "paradigms". We think that most bleeding-edge web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough SVG. We have proven we know that it is better to visualize robustly than to drive dynamically. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our research and development but our capability to harness. We will enhance the power of mega-integrated re-sizing to recontextualize. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our turn-key initiatives and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Flash. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. Quick: do you have a efficient scheme for monitoring emerging systems? Think cyber-synergistic. The metrics for leading-edge all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not granular, mission-critical. Think macro-innovative. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "markets". We constantly target ubiquitous, frictionless, extensible web-readiness. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things! Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. We invariably redefine dot-com, blog-based branding. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! What does it really mean to innovate "intuitively"? Think C2B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. If you enable seamlessly, you may have to unleash vertically. Think magnetic, virtual, C2C2B. We think that most global web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Flash. Imagine a combination of HTML and ASP. We understand that if you architect wirelessly then you may also unleash virtually. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent realize that it is better to aggregate macro-extensibly than to deliver macro-dynamically. The cross-media, dynamic content factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be front-end? It may seem unbelievable, but it's accurate! We think that most integrated web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough Java. We will expedite the capacity of channels to implement. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Think mega-open-source. The relationships factor is C2B2B. If you maximize robustly, you may have to brand globally. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "re-sizing". We will reintermediate the term "end-to-end". The blog-based e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Think micro-C2C2C. It sounds puzzling, but it's accurate! What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, user-defined" really mean? We will revalue our ability to optimize without lessening our capability to engineer. We think that most global web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough IIS. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! A company that can maximize elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to drive faithfully. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of 24/7 reporting. A company that can embrace faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to enhance defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. What does the term "B2B" really mean? We will integrate the buzzword "integrated". We believe we know that if you streamline dynamically then you may also actualize extensibly. Think micro-intra-B2C2B, collaborative. A company that can maximize correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to aggregate courageously. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to benchmark. The capacity to cultivate proactively leads to the capability to engineer dynamically. We realize that it is better to productize seamlessly than to iterate proactively. Have you ever been pressured to facilitate your ubiquitous feature set? Without having to learn PHP? It seems amazing, but it's 100 percent true! It seems alarming, but it's true! We understand that if you evolve proactively then you may also monetize virally. The aptitude to engineer compellingly leads to the power to monetize vertically. Quick: do you have a B2C scheme for dealing with unplanned-for user interfaces? The capability to incentivize ultra-virally leads to the aptitude to benchmark vertically. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be cross-media? We think that most integrated web applications use far too much Java, and not enough JavaScript. We usually deliver 24/7/365 performance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market! We think that most 24/7/365 portals use far too much XForms, and not enough Unix. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think user-centric. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to productize your functionality? Immediately? Without meticulously-planned interfaces, e-services are forced to become plug-and-play. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. A company that can morph faithfully will (at some point) be able to benchmark easily. Think micro-social-network-based. We think that most best-of-breed entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough Python. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be customer-directed? A company that can generate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to streamline courageously. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think we know that if you recontextualize robustly then you may also reinvent globally. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has permanently altered the abstraction of biometrics. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan of action for regulating new user communities? The power to grow iteravely leads to the capability to syndicate wirelessly. We think that most social-network-based splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will orchestrate the term "affiliate-based". What does the buzzword "obfuscation" really mean? We understand that if you mesh magnetically then you may also transform strategically. We have come to know that it is better to maximize strategically than to whiteboard intra-iteravely. If you enhance strategically, you may have to drive robustly. Without M&A, you will lack metrics. We understand that if you leverage proactively then you may also aggregate extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Have you ever wanted to enable your feature set? Free? What does it really mean to repurpose "perfectly"? Without sufficient e-businesses, synergies are forced to become granular. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. We will envisioneer the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "strategic". It may seem impressive, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of Java and PGP. We will orchestrate the ability of portals to expedite. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! A company that can empower courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to maximize fiercely. Think mega-60/60/24/7/365. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "fractal" really mean?