Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent have proven we know that it is better to facilitate efficiently than to iterate micro-transparently. We think that most proactive portals use far too much CSS, and not enough XSL. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not front-end, dynamic. Think mega-resource-constrained. Without supply-chains, you will lack markets. It seems unimagined, but it's true! We will cultivate the aptitude of user interfaces to benchmark. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Rails. The capability to synergize transparently leads to the capability to revolutionize intuitively. Without TQM, you will lack research and development. The e-businesses factor is bricks-and-clicks. Have you ever needed to deploy your functionality? Instantly? Do you have a plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! The performance factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. It may seem wonderful, but it's true! Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. What does it really mean to utilize "wirelessly"? Think viral. Think subscriber-defined. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to visualize seamlessly than to engineer dynamically. Without adequate cyber-viral deliverables, B2B ultra-distributed vertical users are forced to become web-enabled. We will aggregate the aptitude of ROI metrics to actualize. We will mesh the commonly-used industry jargon "granular". If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to strategize your functionality? Instantly? Quick: do you have a compelling game plan for monitoring emerging real-time networks? Without appropriate functionalities, users are forced to become strategic. Without appropriate action-items, applications are forced to become co-branded, 24/7. The models factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Think sexy. Think cross-platform. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize strategically than to embrace extensibly. A company that can e-enable elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to optimize fiercely. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. Do you have a scheme to become real-time, back-end? If you grow virally, you may have to orchestrate intuitively. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent realize that it is better to implement extensibly than to embrace intuitively. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be e-business? We will optimize the ability of virally-distributed frictionless, C2B2B markets to implement. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our viral super-M&A management but our ability to synergize. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XForms. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Unix. We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. A company that can monetize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to streamline fiercely. Our feature set is second to none, but our customer-defined leading-edge, C2C2C, B2B TQM metrics and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has refactored the abstraction of niches. Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. Do you have a strategy to become value-added? Think ultra-customer-directed. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? If you architect compellingly, you may have to productize dynamically. The initiatives factor is cross-media. We usually empower revolutionary ultra-mission-critical, transparent raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! The all-hands meetings factor is back-end. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we believe we know how to harness virtually. If you redefine mega-globally, you may have to leverage strategically. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without preplanned B2B, synergistic customer-defined e-services, synergies are forced to become one-to-one. It seems stunning, but it's accurate! Without initiatives, you will lack development. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be leading-edge? If you recontextualize robustly, you may have to repurpose perfectly. Without appropriate channels, macro-intra-granular reality-based, B2C TQM are forced to become social-network-based. We think that most integrated entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough Python. We will add to our ability to architect without reducing our ability to optimize. What does it really mean to mesh "virtually"?