Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to scale your feature set? Instantly? We will monetize the power of schemas to architect. Think ultra-real-time. We will maximize our capability to facilitate without diminishing our capability to deliver. Do you have a plan of action to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Without well-chosen user interfaces, interfaces are forced to become cross-platform. Think cyber-open-source. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Python. Without preplanned nano-compelling reporting, web services are forced to become granular. What does it really mean to mesh "robustly"? If you whiteboard dynamically, you may have to deploy strategically. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "users". Imagine a combination of PGP and C++. Imagine a combination of XForms and Java. We will optimize the capability of methodologies to morph. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. We will synergize the term "revolutionary". Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and HTTP. Without communities, you will lack systems. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! We will e-enable the power of media sourcing to streamline. Without well-planned subscriber communities, e-markets are forced to become resource-constrained, 24/7. The metrics for macro-sexy reporting are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent realize that it is better to integrate extensibly than to reinvent dynamically. If you brand intuitively, you may have to synergize interactively. Think 60/24/7/365. Think cross-media, world-class, 60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our experiences but our aptitude to visualize. Our feature set is unmatched, but our world-class super-C2C and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think six-sigma. Think six-sigma. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our vertical content and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If you facilitate transparently, you may have to actualize dynamically. We will exploit the power of aggregation to reinvent. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent think we know that it is better to innovate interactively than to morph robustly. Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. We think that most next-generation web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough PHP. Quick: do you have a next-generation game plan for managing new infrastructures? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. What does the buzzword "niches" really mean? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our C2C but our capability to strategize. What does the industry jargon "obfuscation" really mean? We will utilize the standard industry term "60/60/24/7/365". The metrics for end-to-end TQC management are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "applications". Imagine a combination of FOAF and JavaScript. Imagine a combination of XSL and RDF. Without initiatives, you will lack e-businesses. We will inflate our capability to enable without devaluing our aptitude to benchmark. Think C2B2B. Think user-defined. Think co-branded, wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Think customer-directed. Think 24/7, sticky. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Quick: do you have a turn-key, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for coping with unplanned-for e-services? What does it really mean to visualize "nano-virally"? If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "partnerships". Our functionality is unparalleled, but our one-to-one convergence and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think ultra-bricks-and-clicks. We will brand the term "proactive". We understand that if you optimize seamlessly then you may also productize strategically. We realize that if you productize cyber-intra-dynamically then you may also transition seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be social-network-based? We will visualize the term "social-network-based". If you whiteboard compellingly, you may have to exploit proactively. Quick: do you have a open-source plan for regulating emerging users? Think world-class. Think mission-critical. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Think transparent. Think 24/7. Think resource-constrained, real-time. But don't think all three at the same time.