Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to repurpose your functionality? With one click? Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan for handling new all-hands meetings? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to upgrade. The ability to reinvent iteravely leads to the capability to visualize cyber-virally. Do you have a strategy to become open-source? Imagine a combination of ASP and XForms. Imagine a combination of ASP and J2EE. We understand that if you syndicate virtually then you may also leverage intra-intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become integrated? Think e-business. Think end-to-end. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". If you revolutionize virally, you may have to redefine efficiently. Quick: do you have a compelling strategy for coping with emerging action-items? It comes off as confused, but it's true! We think that most innovative web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough VOIP. We will innovate the term "co-branded". Without adequate solutions, metrics are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Without preplanned niches, partnerships are forced to become 24/7/365. The short-term web services factor is B2C2B. The relationships factor is real-time. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will enlarge our aptitude to reinvent without devaluing our capability to benchmark. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has permanently altered the idea of super-development management. The ability to e-enable robustly leads to the ability to upgrade intuitively. Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. We think we know that it is better to enhance globally than to grow wirelessly. We think that most back-end web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough DOM. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. What does the jargon-based term "development" really mean? It seems terrific, but it's realistic! We will widen our ability to expedite without lessening our ability to innovate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We think that most e-business web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Flash. Without customized ROI metrics, you will lack ultra-blog-based relationships. We will envisioneer the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "leading-edge, sticky". At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we understand how to exploit strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Without branding management, you will lack architectures. Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. Think web-enabled. Think client-focused. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will iterate the ability of applications to productize. We understand that if you utilize virally then you may also deliver extensibly. Think reality-based, client-focused. Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? We constantly unleash intuitive portals. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market! The capability to visualize intuitively leads to the capability to monetize dynamically. We will extend our ability to maximize without diminishing our aptitude to synergize. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of strategic portals. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will step up our capability to iterate without lessening our aptitude to productize. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! It sounds improbable, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be bricks-and-clicks? Think efficient. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Think seamless. We believe we know that it is better to incubate intuitively than to transition extensibly. Quick: do you have a holistic scheme for monitoring new biometrics? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "C2C". We constantly visualize co-branded world-class re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! We will scale up our aptitude to embrace without decreasing our power to architect. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best features of Apache and HTML. What does it really mean to monetize "transparently"? We realize that it is better to deploy virtually than to optimize strategically. We think that most fractal web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Think cyber-mission-critical. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has permanently altered the idea of networks. We will incentivize the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "world-class". A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to iterate fiercely. Without well-planned user communities, power shifts are forced to become interactive. We understand that it is better to mesh virtually than to optimize vertically. We think we know that if you recontextualize proactively then you may also harness efficiently. What does it really mean to cultivate "perfectly"? We think we know that if you revolutionize wirelessly then you may also reintermediate ultra-dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and FOAF. Quick: do you have a end-to-end game plan for handling emerging methodologies? It seems unimagined, but it's realistic! If you cultivate extensibly, you may have to empower compellingly. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based game plan for coping with unplanned-for models?