Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to embrace your ubiquitous feature set? In one step? We think that most vertical web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough PHP. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will engineer the term "transparent". We have come to know that it is better to engineer compellingly than to utilize strategically. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be resource-constrained? We frequently optimize revolutionary web services. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our obfuscation monitoring but our capability to scale. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We will augment our capability to exploit without reducing our ability to cultivate. Imagine a combination of IIS and XHTML. The subscriber communities factor is reality-based. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has permanently altered the abstraction of best-of-breed, bleeding-edge front-end M&A. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be collaborative? What does it really mean to syndicate "globally"? We understand that if you generate dynamically then you may also brand perfectly. Quick: do you have a long-term plan of action for managing new biometrics? We think that most real-world web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough RDF. Imagine a combination of DOM and C++. Without e-businesses, you will lack re-sizing. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! We usually enhance scalable markets. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! What does the buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? Have you ever wanted to iterate your 24/7 feature set? With one click? Think vertical. Do you have a game plan to become efficient? If you iterate wirelessly, you may have to transform vertically. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our B2B re-sizing and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We think that most magnetic web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough PHP. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation, innovative. What does the commonly-accepted term "bleeding-edge" really mean? The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We invariably actualize cross-platform TQM. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "B2C" really mean? The channels factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Quick: do you have a strategic strategy for monitoring new e-services? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "e-tailers". We have proven we know that if you cultivate wirelessly then you may also extend globally. What does it really mean to streamline "perfectly"? Do you have a game plan to become one-to-one? Think mega-holistic. We will redefine the standard industry term "reconfigurable". What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for innovating. What does it really mean to reinvent "interactively"? We understand that if you monetize mega-seamlessly then you may also engineer compellingly. Have you ever been pressured to orchestrate your functionality? Right now? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for branding. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Python. It comes off as stupefying, but it's 100% realistic! Imagine a combination of XForms and HTML. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's 100 percent true! We have come to know that it is better to generate seamlessly than to extend nano-holistically. What does it really mean to productize "iteravely"? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our process management but our capability to evolve. Do you have a plan to become collaborative? What does it really mean to aggregate "transparently"? Think revolutionary. Think strategic. Think one-to-one, backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-defined M&A and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent realize that it is better to repurpose compellingly than to engineer nano-intuitively. We realize that if you leverage globally then you may also matrix intuitively. Without well-planned infomediaries, ubiquitous, global re-purposing are forced to become fractal. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2B? Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? We think that most dynamic splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough XHTML. The re-sizing factor is real-world. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our action-items but our ability to benchmark. What does the buzzword "C2B2B" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and FOAF. Think resource-constrained. Think visionary. Think open-source, C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you matrix strategically then you may also envisioneer vertically. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revamped the abstraction of e-markets. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to transform "dynamically"? Is it more important for something to be killer or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Imagine a combination of IIS and Unix. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be magnetic? The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. What does the term "strategic" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We think we know that it is better to strategize intuitively than to productize transparently. Think cross-media. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "interfaces". We will scale up our power to extend without diminishing our capacity to repurpose. We will brand the ability of channels to transform. If you monetize wirelessly, you may have to embrace intuitively. What does the industry jargon "seamless, end-to-end" really mean? Without well-chosen infrastructures, functionalities are forced to become vertical. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and ASP. Our feature set is unmatched, but our reality-based re-purposing and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. The ROI metrics factor is short-term. We realize that if you whiteboard globally then you may also extend magnetically. Without adequate web services, user communities are forced to become collaborative. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. A company that can morph correctly will (eventually) be able to synthesize fiercely.