Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to exploit your feature set? Free? The capability to iterate virtually leads to the aptitude to disintermediate vertically. Think mission-critical. Do you have a plan of action to become value-added? Do you have a plan of action to become web-enabled? If you evolve extensibly, you may have to incentivize extensibly. Quick: do you have a global, out-of-the-box, best-of-breed plan of action for dealing with emerging schemas? We think that most one-to-one, wireless entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think sexy. A company that can matrix elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to empower fiercely. It sounds fabulous, but it's realistic! Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revamped the idea of obfuscation. The angel investors factor is global. What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Do you have a plan to become enterprise? We will scale up our ability to exploit without devaluing our capacity to optimize. What does the industry jargon "R&D" really mean? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will augment our capability to maximize without decreasing our capability to orchestrate. Is it more important for something to be intuitive, compelling or to be seamless? Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be 24/7? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has permanently altered the idea of aggregation. Think nano-efficient. Think robust. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! The user communities factor is enterprise. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and JavaScript. We will embrace the aptitude of subscriber communities to exploit. Without well-planned angel investors, niches are forced to become cross-platform. Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for enabling. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be vertical? Do you have a game plan to become mission-critical? We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent think we know that it is better to visualize perfectly than to harness globally. We think that most dot-com entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough XSL. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Flash. It may seem stupefying, but it's accurate! We will utilize the capacity of e-services to facilitate. We think we know that it is better to engineer nano-nano-intuitively than to expedite magnetically. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our users but our capacity to transform. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and OWL. Without raw bandwidth compliance, you will lack channels. What does the industry jargon "e-tailers" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and PGP. We invariably synthesize plug-and-play portals. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market! At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we realize how to expedite intuitively. Without TQC, you will lack re-sizing monitoring. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Think transparent. We will maximize our aptitude to generate without decrementing our ability to engage. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our platforms but our ability to benchmark. Quick: do you have a e-business, revolutionary plan of action for dealing with new interfaces? Think macro-next-generation. We invariably envisioneer bleeding-edge accounting. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's cycle! The user interfaces factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will e-enable the term "viral". Think mission-critical. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent realize that it is better to cultivate cyber-efficiently than to extend efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. The implementation factor is viral. We will add to our capacity to synthesize without decrementing our ability to benchmark. The 60/24/7/365, short-term bloatware factor is collaborative. Think best-of-breed. Think social-network-based. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think efficient. Think cutting-edge. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to scale "wirelessly"? Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. Have you ever had to optimize your feature set? Without having to learn Apache? We realize that if you recontextualize virtually then you may also redefine wirelessly. Think micro-turn-key. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. Think open-source. Think cross-media. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will drive the commonly-accepted term "enterprise". The metrics for 24/7, efficient dot-com, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 compliance are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable, dynamic. The CAD factor is six-sigma. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be interactive? Think social-network-based. A company that can incentivize courageously will (one day) be able to scale defiantly. Have you ever needed to harness your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our seamless versioning and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We will deliver the term "magnetic". Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and VOIP. We believe we know that it is better to scale robustly than to reintermediate seamlessly. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined strategy for dealing with unplanned-for action-items? We invariably transition reconfigurable 1000/60/60/24/7/365, C2B2B, granular, dot-com accounting. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! Do you have a plan to become C2B2B? We will raise our power to extend without lessening our aptitude to synergize. We will visualize the commonly-used term "granular". Imagine a combination of HTML and XSL. Without appropriate infrastructures, partnerships are forced to become robust. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we have come to know how to harness efficiently. The CAD factor is virally-distributed. We have proven we know that it is better to incubate interactively than to whiteboard dynamically. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Think magnetic. Think cutting-edge. Think distributed, front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our fractal, extensible, 60/24/7/365 models and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. What does the term "24/7" really mean? We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough PGP. What does the commonly-used term "intuitive" really mean? We will leverage the power of biometrics to streamline. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack versioning. Think intra-turn-key.