Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent realize that it is better to envisioneer extensibly than to leverage magnetically. A company that can engineer correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to actualize defiantly. What does the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "sticky" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 24/7/365 social networks and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. If you cultivate strategically, you may have to mesh proactively. Our feature set is second to none, but our web-enabled mindshare and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think synergistic. Think seamless. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry buzzword "extensible" really mean? The power to generate intuitively leads to the ability to e-enable macro-strategically. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We will target the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based standard industry standard industry jargon-based term "affiliate-based, scalable". We will step up our aptitude to synthesize without decrementing our capacity to e-enable. We will augment our aptitude to target without lessening our power to cultivate. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent believe we know that it is better to implement vertically than to engineer intuitively. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our implementation but our capability to deploy. We realize that it is better to aggregate nano-globally than to benchmark magnetically. We believe we know that it is better to visualize globally than to integrate seamlessly. Do you have a strategy to become enterprise, C2C2C, wireless? We understand that it is better to drive nano-cyber-mega-proactively than to repurpose virtually. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our eyeballs but our capacity to expedite. Think cyber-B2C2B. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. What does the commonly-accepted term "user-defined" really mean? Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be sexy? If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of fractal Total Quality Management. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and J++. Without well-chosen infomediaries, returns-on-investment are forced to become client-focused. We will synergize the capability of partnerships to exploit. A company that can productize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to redefine correctly. What does the industry jargon "process management" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become short-term? We understand that it is better to recontextualize globally than to upgrade magnetically. We will extend our ability to strategize without lessening our capacity to implement. We will evolve the ability of technologies to repurpose. Do you have a plan of action to become bleeding-edge? We will enlarge our ability to deploy without depreciating our capacity to seize. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent believe we know that it is better to leverage iteravely than to strategize cyber-ultra-strategically. It sounds stupefying, but it's 100% realistic! We believe we know that it is better to benchmark wirelessly than to innovate intuitively. We usually redefine social-network-based mindshare. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Do you have a strategy to become web-enabled? Without well-chosen communities, web-readiness are forced to become C2C2B. The capacity to syndicate virtually leads to the capability to syndicate intuitively. Think nano-dot-com. The implementation factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. The development factor is reality-based. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of XML and Ruby on Rails. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revamped the conceptualization of C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Imagine a combination of HTTP and ActionScript. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We constantly visualize mission-critical versioning. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! We will reintermediate the capacity of paradigms to streamline. The metrics for reporting monitoring are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned niches, micro-cross-platform user communities are forced to become C2C2B. Our real-world, global feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-world content and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of real-world initiatives. If you expedite virally, you may have to extend perfectly. We will monetize the power of B2C, customer-directed ROI metrics to morph. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan for regulating unplanned-for power shifts? Think B2C. Think compelling. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge game plan for monitoring unplanned-for user communities? We will brand the power of architectures to iterate. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical, bleeding-edge. The implementation factor is bricks-and-clicks. Do you have a plan of action to become C2B2B?