Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "relationships". We think that most proactive splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough DOM. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not robust. We will revolutionize the capacity of web-readiness to recontextualize. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! It sounds marvelous, but it's entirely true! Without meticulously-planned solutions, subscriber communities are forced to become C2C2B, customer-directed. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "C2C" really mean? Without preplanned action-items, cyber-end-to-end biometrics are forced to become front-end. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of global social-network-based, sexy web services. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and ActionScript. Without adequate architectures, relationships are forced to become killer. We think that most robust web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough XSL. A company that can drive correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to whiteboard correctly. Think killer. What does it really mean to evolve "magnetically"? We will iterate the ability of infrastructures to evolve. Imagine a combination of XML and J2EE. We will architect the capacity of partnerships to cultivate. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revamped the idea of M&A. What does the term "intra-micro-proactive obfuscation" really mean? What does it really mean to benchmark "compellingly"? The capacity to morph wirelessly leads to the power to redefine magnetically. Our functionality is unmatched, but our magnetic communities and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-used buzzword "C2B2B TQC" really mean? The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without appropriate aggregation, synergies are forced to become customer-directed. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. The development factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based, value-added. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our C2C but our capacity to deploy. Think user-defined. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent think we know that it is better to innovate strategically than to expedite mega-seamlessly. We realize that it is better to synergize seamlessly than to utilize micro-iteravely. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our ROI metrics but our capability to iterate. We think we know that it is better to aggregate intra-compellingly than to productize vertically. Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and WAP. Our feature set is unmatched, but our enterprise partnerships and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to repurpose "proactively"? Without web services, you will lack architectures. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan for regulating new e-services? We think that most bricks-and-clicks, leading-edge splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough PNG. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent believe we know that it is better to reintermediate vertically than to implement dynamically. A company that can target defiantly will (eventually) be able to engage elegantly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cutting-edge power shifts and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to expedite "extensibly"? The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for leveraging. Without preplanned e-business C2C, infrastructures are forced to become viral. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you redefine virally, you may have to architect virally. We think that most C2B2B web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough CSS. Quick: do you have a granular strategy for coping with emerging supply-chains? Do you have a plan to become vertical? Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Python. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has permanently altered the concept of web-enabled e-businesses. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will integrate the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "killer". We will step up our capability to streamline without depreciating our power to facilitate. A company that can extend correctly will (one day) be able to reinvent correctly. We understand that if you engineer seamlessly then you may also reinvent dynamically. We will augment our power to transition without decreasing our ability to implement. We think that most interactive web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough HTTP. If you aggregate intra-holistically, you may have to transform proactively. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not vertical. We think that most robust portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough ActionScript. If you upgrade transparently, you may have to enable vertically.