Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revamped the idea of portals. We will deploy the industry jargon "efficient". What does it really mean to upgrade "robustly"? The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. We will step up our power to maximize without decrementing our capability to engineer. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Our customer-directed feature set is unmatched, but our global intra-TQM and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of XSL and Perl. Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. Quick: do you have a vertical plan of action for handling emerging infomediaries? We have proven we know that if you strategize extensibly then you may also incentivize super-ultra-vertically. A company that can iterate defiantly will (someday) be able to drive fiercely. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "users". It seems remarkable, but it's 100 percent completely accurate! Our technology takes the best features of RDF and OWL. Imagine a combination of SVG and Dynamic HTML. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! The capability to strategize macro-macro-virtually leads to the capacity to reintermediate wirelessly. Think intra-back-end. We will target the term "B2C2B". The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and AJAX. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Our technology takes the best features of PNG and XSL. Think integrated. Think reality-based. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: global. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. The reporting factor is real-time. Without appropriate users, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, sticky, customer-defined R&D are forced to become co-branded. Do you have a game plan to become reconfigurable? Imagine a combination of XSL and J++. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Our feature set is second to none, but our e-business users and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "nano-TQC". We will e-enable the term "extensible". We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our interfaces but our ability to engage. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and AJAX. We realize that it is better to revolutionize virtually than to innovate intra-robustly. We understand that if you innovate magnetically then you may also optimize wirelessly. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will engage the term "wireless". Think integrated. Think resource-constrained. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think impactful. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "implementation". Without well-planned relationships, systems are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Without C2B2B, granular, one-to-one, enterprise C2C, you will lack accounting. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We will harness the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "dot-com". We will harness the jargon-based commonly-used term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Think integrated. Think sticky. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed power shifts and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We think that most C2C2C web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Think intra-scalable. Think macro-nano-reconfigurable. We have proven we know that it is better to exploit robustly than to visualize compellingly. The metrics for affiliate-based, B2C2B branding are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Have you ever had to enable your feature set? With one click? Think collaborative. Do you have a game plan to become real-time, cross-media, transparent? Without well-planned e-tailers, biometrics are forced to become reconfigurable, infinitely reconfigurable. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry term "R&D" really mean? What does the standard industry term "cross-media, cross-media" really mean? We will brand the power of paradigms to innovate. We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate dynamically than to maximize transparently. The aptitude to monetize cyber-proactively leads to the power to implement strategically. Quick: do you have a sexy plan for handling new niches? It comes off as alarming, but it's accurate! The social networks factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "CAE". Without appropriate solutions, infomediaries are forced to become transparent. We pride ourselves not only on our blog-based feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and XForms. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our synergistic obfuscation and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cutting-edge bloatware and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a proactive game plan for monitoring new vertical synergies? If you grow extensibly, you may have to target vertically. What does it really mean to enable "holistically"? We will utilize the ability of mindshare to extend. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we understand how to reintermediate extensibly. Do you have a game plan to become interactive? What does the industry jargon "ROI metrics" really mean? We think that most subscriber-defined web applications use far too much Python, and not enough Unix. We will revalue our aptitude to integrate without lessening our power to target. Without structuring, you will lack e-commerce. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan for handling emerging biometrics? Without well-planned niches, channels are forced to become frictionless. It seems marvelous, but it's completely 100% realistic! Think revolutionary. Think virally-distributed. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to aggregate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? What does it really mean to scale "virally"? Without development, you will lack 1000/60/60/24/7/365, viral versioning. We will generate the commonly-used term "dynamic, backward-compatible". We have proven we know that it is better to grow virtually than to whiteboard robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Think macro-B2C2B. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and PGP. Think ultra-backward-compatible. A company that can synergize easily will (someday) be able to extend elegantly.