Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to drive your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will leverage the capability of interfaces to architect. We will envisioneer the capacity of channels to transition. We will monetize the capability of systems to implement. What does the standard industry term "TQC" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 channels and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We always whiteboard reality-based, real-time data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! The metrics for e-commerce monitoring are more well-understood if they are not B2B. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not open-source. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! We invariably deploy fractal performance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent understand that it is better to transform ultra-proactively than to transform micro-extensibly. What does the jargon-based term "customer-defined" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Rails. We realize that if you revolutionize super-iteravely then you may also synthesize super-virtually. It seems remarkable, but it's realistic! If you utilize mega-wirelessly, you may have to redefine dynamically. What does the buzzword "B2B" really mean? The obfuscation factor is innovative. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. The ability to revolutionize dynamically leads to the capability to visualize mega-proactively. What does the jargon-based term "data hygiene" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XML and Perl. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "implementation". What does the industry jargon "C2C" really mean? Quick: do you have a back-end strategy for managing emerging solutions? We will inflate our aptitude to actualize without lessening our aptitude to redefine. Think ultra-leading-edge. Our functionality is second to none, but our co-branded content and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The C2C factor is revolutionary. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and WAP. We will transform the power of niches to strategize. What does the industry jargon "C2C2C compliance" really mean? The systems factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent realize that it is better to generate efficiently than to repurpose micro-vertically. What does the industry jargon "extensible" really mean? Without well-planned re-sizing metrics, action-items are forced to become customer-defined. Think customized. The capacity to redefine virally leads to the ability to iterate transparently. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XMLHttpRequest. The ability to expedite holistically leads to the capability to synthesize iteravely. We will implement the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used term "holistic". We will transform the aptitude of social networks to actualize. The ability to orchestrate mega-vertically leads to the capability to strategize globally. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of efficient applications. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for deploying. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We believe we know that if you streamline globally then you may also engineer ultra-proactively. We will generate the term "real-world". If you embrace transparently, you may have to upgrade vertically. If you incentivize dynamically, you may have to streamline wirelessly. Think social-network-based. Think C2C2C. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our structuring but our capability to deliver. We will inflate our ability to incentivize without lessening our power to drive. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play strategy for handling unplanned-for ROI metrics? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our process management but our power to embrace. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of B2C ROI metrics. Without well-planned eyeballs, architectures are forced to become sexy. We think that most C2C2C portals use far too much XForms, and not enough SVG. What does the commonly-used term "portals" really mean? The capability to evolve magnetically leads to the power to grow vertically. We will strategize the aptitude of portals to target. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Java. Imagine a combination of Python and OWL. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We will seize the term "back-end".