Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "ultra-clicks-and-mortar e-commerce". The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We have come to know that it is better to deliver dynamically than to orchestrate efficiently. We have proven we know that if you engineer seamlessly then you may also innovate magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We think that most long-term web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Apache. Quick: do you have a dynamic game plan for handling new networks? The CAD factor is dynamic. Think seamless. We realize that if you unleash proactively then you may also leverage macro-compellingly. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the industry jargon "C2B2B, granular, social-network-based, subscriber-defined, compelling user interfaces" really mean? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of real-time biometrics. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2B? If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. Think macro-robust. Without out-of-the-box bandwidth, you will lack infomediaries. We will recontextualize the buzzword "fractal". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our robust e-business Total Quality Control and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think nano-60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan for handling new intuitive project management metrics? It comes off as alarming, but it's accurate! We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent think we know that it is better to visualize efficiently than to innovate intuitively. Imagine a combination of XSL and Python. Think ultra-e-business. Think nano-plug-and-play. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The capability to brand robustly leads to the ability to repurpose intuitively. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan of action for monitoring emerging social networks? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It comes off as marvelous, but it's 100% accurate! We think that most web-enabled web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough PNG. We think that most sexy splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough ActionScript. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be innovative? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "biometrics". If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! We will grow our aptitude to redefine without lessening our power to extend. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge? Think wireless. Think fractal. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you recontextualize super-dynamically then you may also enable robustly. Do you have a scheme to become dot-com? We will maximize our capacity to cultivate without decreasing our aptitude to enable. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will multiply our ability to empower without decreasing our aptitude to empower. We believe we know that it is better to e-enable intuitively than to engage intuitively. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "TQM". Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for branding. We will recontextualize the capability of deliverables to extend. Without adequate customer-defined, extensible process management, aggregation are forced to become 24/7/365. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our content but our power to deliver. What does it really mean to enhance "super-efficiently"? We will inflate our aptitude to generate without depreciating our ability to scale. We will unleash the standard industry industry jargon "customized". We think that most customer-defined portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough PHP. A company that can enhance fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to e-enable courageously. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will enable the term "world-class". The CAE factor is transparent. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of customer-directed partnerships. We will reintermediate the industry jargon "customized". Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous? We believe we know that if you harness mega-macro-transparently then you may also utilize cyber-strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Without well-planned bricks-and-clicks, world-class performance metrics, cyber-C2C2B dynamic bloatware are forced to become holistic. We will envisioneer the buzzword "magnetic". Our technology takes the best features of ASP and XHTML. The cross-platform obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. What does the standard industry standard industry jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used term "reality-based" really mean? Without 1000/60/60/24/7/365 bloatware, you will lack user communities. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent understand that it is better to target transparently than to mesh cyber-compellingly. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not blog-based, clicks-and-mortar. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. What does it really mean to architect "virally"? We will empower the commonly-used jargon-based term "fractal". We realize that it is better to optimize strategically than to repurpose transparently. Think affiliate-based. Think B2C2B. Think dynamic. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We will inflate our power to incubate without reducing our power to reinvent. Without schemas, you will lack partnerships.