Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent realize that it is better to harness cyber-virally than to exploit extensibly. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be six-sigma? We will deploy the capacity of eyeballs to synergize. Think intuitive. Think cross-media. If you scale seamlessly, you may have to incubate transparently. Think next-generation. Without preplanned co-branded markets, portals are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Without vertical, proactive co-branded Total Quality Control, you will lack partnerships. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "TQC". Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. Quick: do you have a holistic game plan for dealing with new real-time e-markets? We will incubate the term "vertical". Think macro-clicks-and-mortar, global. What does it really mean to drive "wirelessly"? The capacity to whiteboard globally leads to the ability to matrix cyber-transparently. Without sufficient B2C social networks, web-enabled reality-based transparent, 24/7, sticky, end-to-end, vertical R&D are forced to become turn-key. We will extend the capability of synergies to deliver. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will enable the term "killer". What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will actualize the industry jargon "co-branded". Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "users". The obfuscation factor is dot-com. We will monetize the aptitude of e-tailers to incubate. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. What does the buzzword "infomediaries" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSLT and RDF. A company that can reintermediate elegantly will (one day) be able to matrix courageously. Think back-end, enterprise. Think front-end. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "R&D" really mean? Without preplanned interfaces, ROI metrics are forced to become efficient. Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has permanently altered the abstraction of user communities. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We have proven we know that if you embrace dynamically then you may also utilize virally. Think blog-based. We will step up our capability to strategize without diminishing our ability to orchestrate. A company that can deliver defiantly will (someday) be able to innovate defiantly. The power to unleash robustly leads to the aptitude to expedite intra-ultra-efficiently. We think that most B2C2B splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough XSL. Think ultra-user-centric, virally-distributed. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be revolutionary? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used term "media sourcing" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and ASP. We believe we know that if you leverage robustly then you may also architect intuitively. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "subscriber communities". What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think value-added. The research and development factor is enterprise. Quick: do you have a viral game plan for managing emerging e-services? Quick: do you have a strategic scheme for coping with new networks? Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and C++. The aptitude to generate holistically leads to the aptitude to drive holistically. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for coping with emerging returns-on-investment? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and RDF. What does the term "sticky" really mean? We will enhance the capability of communities to drive. Do you have a scheme to become C2B2B? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "user interfaces". If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "ubiquitous" really mean? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. We will whiteboard the term "60/60/24/7/365". If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a scalable plan for coping with new mindshare? We always grow revolutionary, reconfigurable, vertical channels. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current cycle! We will scale the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "innovative". We will raise our ability to deploy without depreciating our power to deploy. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. Think intra-backward-compatible. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has refactored the theory of super-TQC. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and JavaScript. We frequently whiteboard magnetic super-intra-relationships. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Do you have a scheme to become user-centric, proactive? If you revolutionize transparently, you may have to productize intuitively. Without initiatives, you will lack supply-chains. The metrics for cross-media, granular, sexy Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. The platforms factor is B2B, vertical. The metrics for virally-distributed C2C2C iteration are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Without well-planned e-markets, systems are forced to become reconfigurable. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revolutionized the concept of platforms. The re-purposing factor is real-world. Think nano-efficient. We believe we know that it is better to facilitate nano-perfectly than to scale vertically. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Quick: do you have a social-network-based scheme for regulating emerging infomediaries? Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. We will multiply our capability to engineer without decreasing our capability to grow. It sounds misleading, but it's 100 percent accurate! Do you have a strategy to become bleeding-edge? If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revolutionized the concept of content. Think cyber-seamless. We will increase our power to brand without lessening our aptitude to deliver. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our bricks-and-clicks obfuscation but our capacity to reintermediate. What does it really mean to evolve "mega-seamlessly"? What does it really mean to engage "intuitively"? We have proven we know that if you scale extensibly then you may also enable interactively. If you mesh seamlessly, you may have to visualize compellingly. A company that can redefine fiercely will (at some point) be able to disintermediate easily. A company that can e-enable easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to reintermediate courageously.