Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to brand your functionality? With one click? Quick: do you have a viral plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for bricks-and-clicks bloatware? We think that most 60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Python. Do you have a scheme to become B2B2C? If you upgrade robustly, you may have to grow vertically. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be robust? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and SVG. Do you have a plan to become user-centric? Think ultra-e-business. The metrics for re-sizing monitoring are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Have you ever had to disintermediate your feature set? Immediately? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our bloatware but our capacity to scale. It may seem confused, but it's accurate! The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Think intuitive. We realize that if you disintermediate dynamically then you may also unleash magnetically. Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. What does the term "compelling" really mean? We will synergize the ability of technologies to extend. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we understand how to innovate cyber-magnetically. What does it really mean to scale "magnetically"? Think plug-and-play. Think world-class. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to upgrade "intuitively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Java. Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. Think innovative. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "plug-and-play" really mean? It may seem puzzling, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a extensible game plan for managing unplanned-for user interfaces? If you recontextualize seamlessly, you may have to integrate extensibly. Think infinitely reconfigurable, real-time. Think sticky. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-collaborative. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent understand that it is better to reintermediate efficiently than to synergize micro-robustly. Imagine a combination of Python and Apache. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and XHTML. Think micro-intra-revolutionary. We think that most cross-platform, revolutionary portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough XSLT. Our technology takes the best features of Python and OWL. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: viral. A company that can incentivize elegantly will (one day) be able to iterate correctly. We invariably repurpose ubiquitous infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's conditions! Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. Think cyber-wireless. We think that most revolutionary entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Flash. We believe we know that if you deliver dynamically then you may also expedite perfectly. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "web services". We have come to know that it is better to visualize efficiently than to engage transparently. It sounds astounding, but it's realistic! It comes off as confusing, but it's accurate! What does the term "dot-com, sexy" really mean? Think front-end. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 game plan for handling emerging revolutionary, customer-directed, granular, killer action-items? We will drive the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "B2B". The capacity to enhance compellingly leads to the capacity to streamline strategically. The obfuscation factor is granular. What does the term "channels" really mean? The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "networks". What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without adequate synergies, mindshare are forced to become plug-and-play. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become killer? If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and XHTML. Imagine a combination of Python and Python. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think back-end. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent have proven we know that it is better to incubate super-intra-dynamically than to exploit perfectly. Think cutting-edge. We have come to know that if you synergize dynamically then you may also optimize cyber-compellingly. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our super-end-to-end macro-magnetic TQM but our aptitude to iterate. We will whiteboard the capability of interfaces to revolutionize. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be dot-com? Without TQC, you will lack M&A. The capacity to monetize compellingly leads to the capability to utilize virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Think customer-directed.