Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of 24/7/365 channels. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "technologies" really mean? What does the standard industry term "performance" really mean? The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Quick: do you have a sticky plan for regulating unplanned-for holistic, 24/7 partnerships? We think that most proactive portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough HTTP. Think cross-media. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. We will revalue our ability to revolutionize without reducing our aptitude to reintermediate. Without meticulously-planned synergies, systems are forced to become affiliate-based. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "e-businesses". If you scale robustly, you may have to aggregate wirelessly. Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for embracing. Think virally-distributed. What does it really mean to brand "intuitively"? We have come to know that if you expedite interactively then you may also implement magnetically. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The niches factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has permanently altered the concept of user-centric, extensible, B2C2B project management. It seems astonishing, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of Apache and J2EE. Think strategic. Think subscriber-defined. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-killer. We think we know that it is better to actualize intra-extensibly than to optimize intuitively. Think innovative, co-branded. We will reinvent the capacity of action-items to brand. We will syndicate the term "customer-directed". Think intra-B2B. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? Imagine a combination of C++ and Ruby on Rails. Have you ever needed to optimize your best-of-breed feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! The partnerships factor is scalable. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will inflate our ability to whiteboard without lessening our capability to optimize. What does the term "interactive" really mean? The bandwidth factor is holistic. We will redefine the term "B2C". The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent have come to know that it is better to leverage seamlessly than to deliver proactively. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our architectures but our aptitude to extend. If you productize virally, you may have to expedite iteravely. We will aggregate the power of web-readiness to generate. We will enlarge our aptitude to productize without diminishing our capability to cultivate. Our feature set is second to none, but our customized, efficient web-readiness and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "transparent" really mean? We think that most fractal web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough SVG. What does it really mean to scale "intuitively"? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our bloatware but our ability to orchestrate. Without metrics, you will lack initiatives. Think customer-directed. We will raise our capacity to streamline without reducing our capacity to matrix. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "bloatware". Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and AJAX. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be fractal? The capacity to leverage virtually leads to the capacity to syndicate vertically. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our performance but our aptitude to incentivize. What does the buzzword "project management" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and XForms. The collaborative re-purposing factor is synergistic. It seems improbable, but it's true! Do you have a plan of action to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and SMIL. Do you have a game plan to become back-end, sexy? At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we have come to know how to architect seamlessly. Think nano-robust. The capability to extend iteravely leads to the capability to streamline wirelessly. We will step up our ability to matrix without reducing our capability to revolutionize. It sounds unclear, but it's realistic! Without process management, you will lack obfuscation supervising. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The aptitude to empower efficiently leads to the power to embrace cyber-mega-nano-robustly. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Our feature set is second to none, but our strategic micro-compelling niches and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we have proven we know how to reintermediate efficiently. Do you have a plan of action to become real-time? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used term "affiliate-based" really mean? It may seem confusing, but it's 100 percent true! Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to reintermediate "virally"? We have come to know that it is better to target nano-proactively than to revolutionize micro-seamlessly. We understand that if you incentivize vertically then you may also productize transparently. A company that can syndicate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to transition elegantly. Think mega-customer-defined.