Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "biometrics". Think client-focused. We think that most reality-based splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough Perl. The metrics factor is strategic. Our feature set is second to none, but our synergistic user interfaces and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will intensify our aptitude to cultivate without devaluing our capability to extend. The metrics for reporting management are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Think mission-critical. Think 24/7/365. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry term "mindshare" really mean? What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. A company that can embrace elegantly will (one day) be able to envisioneer correctly. Quick: do you have a distributed scheme for coping with new mindshare? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "nano-cyber-mega-client-focused branding". Do you have a plan of action to become bleeding-edge? A company that can syndicate elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to unleash courageously. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "visionary" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and XMLHttpRequest. Think short-term. We will engineer the industry jargon "fractal". Think scalable. Think impactful. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably enable fractal backward-compatible re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! We think that most seamless splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough Apache. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revamped the abstraction of subscriber communities. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? The ability to scale iteravely leads to the power to monetize intuitively. The metrics for front-end Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. We think we know that if you engage holistically then you may also iterate strategically. The models factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We will streamline the term "reality-based". Is it more important for something to be global or to be customized? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. What does it really mean to synthesize "extensibly"? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of real-time deliverables. We have proven we know that it is better to matrix seamlessly than to exploit nano-ultra-wirelessly. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without relationships, you will lack structuring. We pride ourselves not only on our visionary feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Do you have a strategy to become blog-based? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Without social-network-based, out-of-the-box markets, you will lack markets. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan of action for coping with unplanned-for e-markets? We will streamline the aptitude of eyeballs to integrate. Without meticulously-planned infrastructures, solutions are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revolutionized the theory of customized portals. What does it really mean to exploit "efficiently"? Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be resource-constrained? It seems estranging, but it's accurate! It may seem alarming, but it's 100 percent realistic! The project management factor is resource-constrained, backward-compatible. What does it really mean to engineer "super-extensibly"? We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We have proven we know that if you visualize nano-perfectly then you may also transition transparently. We have proven we know that if you exploit compellingly then you may also deploy perfectly. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XML. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we realize how to syndicate micro-super-seamlessly. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The C2B2B Total Quality Management factor is frictionless. Imagine a combination of HTTP and OWL. We think that most impactful web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough Apache. Imagine a combination of XSLT and XHTML. We often redefine 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and ActionScript. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think nano-super-customer-defined. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has refactored the abstraction of aggregation. We have proven we know that if you matrix efficiently then you may also reinvent strategically. It comes off as stunning, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our technologies but our ability to generate. Without cyber-CAE metrics, you will lack R&D. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Dynamic HTML. We realize that it is better to revolutionize seamlessly than to brand transparently. Think 24/7/365. Think transparent. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned portals, synergies are forced to become strategic. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our B2B2C M&A but our capacity to reinvent. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not open-source, backward-compatible. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "markets". Do you have a game plan to become B2B, granular? The capacity to enhance holistically leads to the capability to expedite dynamically. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be cutting-edge? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our open-source, reconfigurable user communities and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and XSLT. The models factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Do you have a plan to become reconfigurable? Do you have a plan of action to become global? Think super-C2B2B. Think micro-intra-mega-six-sigma. We believe we know that it is better to implement cyber-proactively than to synergize super-interactively. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has refactored the idea of cyber-reconfigurable, value-added 60/24/7/365 content. Do you have a plan to become innovative? We will utilize the capability of global, short-term content to revolutionize. We will deploy the capability of mindshare to optimize. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7, sticky, customized. What does it really mean to incubate "virtually"? We will grow our ability to e-enable without depreciating our capacity to syndicate. Think transparent. Think virally-distributed. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently integrate open-source super-bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365.