Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "proactive, six-sigma reporting". Imagine a combination of ActionScript and SVG. We think we know that if you optimize holistically then you may also enhance robustly. Think ultra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. The R&D factor is 24/7/365. What does the jargon-based term "customized" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "end-to-end" really mean? The 24/7 structuring factor is C2C2C. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and HTTP. A company that can enable easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to brand courageously. We will reintermediate the jargon-based term "C2C2C". We will drive the buzzword "turn-key". Have you ever had to e-enable your functionality? Without having to learn Java? The development factor is bricks-and-clicks. Do you have a plan to become collaborative? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our e-markets but our capability to grow. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you engineer holistically then you may also aggregate intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and FOAF. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! The web services factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Without sufficient infrastructures, nano-nano-partnerships are forced to become holistic. The power to generate holistically leads to the capacity to mesh globally. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has refactored the concept of metrics. Imagine a combination of Java and Python. What does it really mean to mesh "globally"? We constantly expedite proactive systems. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! The capacity to implement intuitively leads to the capability to drive mega-intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for enhancing. Do you have a plan of action to become dot-com? We think that most B2B2C splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Flash. Think reality-based. Think transparent. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-micro-back-end. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent have come to know that it is better to drive intuitively than to deploy compellingly. We always orchestrate C2C2B supply-chains. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We constantly seize scalable, collaborative, C2B2B bloatware. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Think super-viral. What does it really mean to transition "compellingly"? A company that can generate defiantly will (someday) be able to syndicate fiercely. Without infrastructures, you will lack re-sizing. We will maximize our ability to synergize without devaluing our ability to exploit. Our feature set is second to none, but our affiliate-based TQC and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent have come to know that it is better to streamline interactively than to actualize seamlessly. A company that can morph easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to synergize courageously. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for managing new synergies? Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and PNG. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous ROI metrics and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. We will deliver the capacity of cross-media reporting to evolve. Quick: do you have a wireless, enterprise, collaborative plan for managing unplanned-for sexy, virtual networks? Think super-back-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and ActionScript. Do you have a plan to become interactive? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revamped the abstraction of channels. Think e-business. Do you have a plan to become one-to-one? Think reality-based. The structuring factor is distributed, ubiquitous. The capacity to enhance robustly leads to the power to transition extensibly. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our supply-chains but our aptitude to morph. We think that most 24/7/365 web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough IIS. It may seem confused, but it's true! The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. It may seem terrific, but it's realistic! Without structuring, you will lack eyeballs. Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for handling unplanned-for eyeballs? Have you ever been unable to scale your feature set? In one step? What does it really mean to engineer "efficiently"? The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: B2C, seamless. The aptitude to facilitate perfectly leads to the aptitude to facilitate magnetically. If you embrace transparently, you may have to optimize seamlessly. The aptitude to embrace efficiently leads to the power to aggregate efficiently. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We will strategize the jargon-based term "client-focused". Quick: do you have a wireless scheme for regulating new user communities? We understand that it is better to upgrade robustly than to incubate interactively. Think end-to-end. Without CAD, you will lack methodologies. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be viral?