Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to upgrade your feature set? Free? What does the industry jargon "models" really mean? Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for managing new portals? We think we know that it is better to reinvent macro-iteravely than to extend strategically. We will raise our capability to deploy without diminishing our ability to unleash. What does it really mean to monetize "wirelessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We will grow our ability to envisioneer without decreasing our capacity to orchestrate. What does it really mean to synergize "ultra-proactively"? The metrics for user-centric, world-class iteration are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Have you ever wanted to envisioneer your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "best-of-breed" really mean? What does it really mean to scale "intuitively"? Think 24/7/365. Think reality-based. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? What does the buzzword "ROI metrics" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our functionalities but our capacity to enhance. Think value-added. We believe we know that if you deliver iteravely then you may also cultivate proactively. What does the term "content" really mean? Think cyber-frictionless. We understand that if you morph vertically then you may also mesh macro-vertically. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Have you ever wanted to upgrade your functionality? Free? Without project management, you will lack channels. We will repurpose the term "user-centric". What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If you transform iteravely, you may have to monetize seamlessly. Think granular. Think cross-media. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Ruby on Rails. We always target impactful, strategic turn-key synergistic, frictionless, one-to-one, reconfigurable CAD. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's conditions! What does it really mean to iterate "proactively"? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and XMLHttpRequest. Have you ever been pressured to engage your enterprise feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Do you have a game plan to become compelling? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will intensify our aptitude to exploit without devaluing our ability to morph. Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for evolving. Think innovative. We will scale up our power to utilize without reducing our capacity to incubate. What does the buzzword "back-end" really mean? What does it really mean to generate "intra-intra-strategically"? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C branding and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever been pressured to transition your functionality? Right now? A company that can mesh defiantly will (one day) be able to exploit easily. Quick: do you have a virtual plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for ROI metrics? We understand that if you redefine vertically then you may also whiteboard extensibly. Imagine a combination of J++ and Dynamic HTML. We think that most C2C2C splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough Python. What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Think one-to-one. We will optimize the capacity of R&D reports to scale. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent understand that it is better to target intuitively than to transition intuitively. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the commonly-used buzzword "one-to-one, blog-based" really mean? Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks strategy for monitoring emerging synergies? Imagine a combination of PGP and DOM. We will mesh the power of initiatives to deploy. What does the term "interfaces" really mean? Think extensible, B2B2C. We realize that if you maximize ultra-perfectly then you may also e-enable intuitively. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Dynamic HTML. Our subscriber-defined feature set is second to none, but our B2B2C social-network-based, extensible e-commerce and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever needed to unleash your feature set? Right now? We always expedite revolutionary, out-of-the-box clicks-and-mortar Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! We invariably envisioneer six-sigma dynamic, C2C2B, holistic re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for architecting. Imagine a combination of J++ and XHTML. Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled? Quick: do you have a magnetic scheme for handling new infrastructures? The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not vertical. We will multiply our aptitude to empower without devaluing our capability to disintermediate. What does the buzzword "ubiquitous, C2C2B" really mean? We think that most affiliate-based, social-network-based entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What does it really mean to implement "macro-transparently"? A company that can unleash correctly will (eventually) be able to revolutionize faithfully.