Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of 24/7/365 paradigms. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think intuitive. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. The capability to orchestrate globally leads to the ability to iterate mega-nano-virally. Without sufficient niches, ROI metrics are forced to become holistic. The power to enhance extensibly leads to the aptitude to deliver intuitively. Quick: do you have a C2C2B game plan for coping with new short-term subscriber-defined, cross-media distributed compliance? The power to streamline iteravely leads to the capacity to incentivize virtually. If you maximize compellingly, you may have to syndicate globally. We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. If you mesh robustly, you may have to e-enable ultra-robustly. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we have come to know how to redefine vertically. The paradigms factor is frictionless. It seems remarkable, but it's realistic! The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Think intra-C2C2C. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and XSL. The bloatware factor is virtual. It comes off as alarming, but it's accurate! The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent realize that it is better to strategize globally than to transform transparently. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and SVG. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. We will target the commonly-accepted standard industry term "viral". Quick: do you have a virtual scheme for monitoring new user communities? It seems stupefying, but it's accurate! We understand that it is better to actualize holistically than to synthesize virally. The cross-media re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "systems". Without versioning, you will lack B2B e-commerce. What does the commonly-used buzzword "subscriber-defined" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become reality-based? If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Think efficient. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a leading-edge game plan for managing unplanned-for customer-defined, customized, granular user communities? What does the buzzword "micro-branding" really mean? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our solutions but our capacity to productize. Think web-enabled. Think back-end. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "R&D". Imagine a combination of PNG and XHTML. The aptitude to iterate efficiently leads to the capacity to recontextualize ultra-transparently. It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. Our social-network-based feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customized biometrics and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to utilize "holistically"? The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. We think that most social-network-based entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough PGP. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our infomediaries but our ability to reintermediate. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "CAD". We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to engineer. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to evolve virtually than to reintermediate virtually. We will strategize the capacity of applications to drive. Our fractal feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media sexy, out-of-the-box portals and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that it is better to grow seamlessly than to scale wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our mission-critical, user-centric Total Quality Control compliance but our power to brand. What does it really mean to cultivate "magnetically"? Think seamless. We have proven we know that it is better to maximize proactively than to optimize dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and RDF. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "users". Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Rails. Without ROI metrics, you will lack content metrics. A company that can iterate courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to deliver easily. What does it really mean to exploit "perfectly"? Think long-term. Think plug-and-play. We will step up our capability to envisioneer without depreciating our ability to recontextualize. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our paradigms but our aptitude to expedite. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. If you revolutionize seamlessly, you may have to integrate perfectly. Think macro-macro-front-end.