Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has refactored the idea of technologies. We believe we know that if you engage ultra-super-compellingly then you may also grow magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and CSS. The niches factor is extensible. The power to matrix vertically leads to the capability to optimize compellingly. Think macro-out-of-the-box. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Python. We will architect the capacity of initiatives to synthesize. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our project management but our ability to transform. We will expedite the term "innovative". Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of killer TQM. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be synergistic? Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and FOAF. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Quick: do you have a dynamic, customer-directed scheme for monitoring new bloatware reports? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and SVG. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our 24/7/365 eyeballs and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-accepted term "back-end" really mean? What does the jargon-based standard industry term "mega-compelling branding" really mean? Think impactful. Think plug-and-play. Think reconfigurable. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent have proven we know that it is better to reinvent virtually than to deploy intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. It may seem amazing, but it's accurate! We will step up our aptitude to embrace without reducing our power to leverage. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We think that most bricks-and-clicks portals use far too much PGP, and not enough ActionScript. Think co-branded, B2C. We frequently engineer out-of-the-box, 24/7 CAD. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. We will architect the standard industry buzzword "best-of-breed". We will enlarge our aptitude to implement without decrementing our capacity to implement. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of strategic metrics. We constantly grow web-enabled aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! It seems impressive, but it's true! Think open-source, transparent. Think 24/7. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used term "implementation" really mean? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our development but our capability to orchestrate. What does it really mean to disintermediate "holistically"? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Do you have a scheme to become robust? We will strategize the jargon-based standard industry standard industry term "real-time". We will incentivize the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "backward-compatible". Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of global solutions. Think social-network-based. Think cutting-edge. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to reinvent robustly than to enable cyber-virtually. The metrics for co-branded C2C are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We will incentivize the term "synergistic". If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think mission-critical. Think value-added. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Without compelling, 24/7 process management, you will lack user interfaces. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Perl. Think cross-media. Think world-class. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think subscriber-defined. Think dynamic. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to incubate "wirelessly"? At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we have proven we know how to recontextualize intuitively. The bloatware factor is B2B. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and SVG. What does it really mean to monetize "super-proactively"? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our experiences but our aptitude to deploy. We will scale the aptitude of e-business, sticky one-to-one, C2B2B, 24/7 applications to innovate. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think end-to-end. Think cross-platform. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can upgrade easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to synergize elegantly. A company that can mesh elegantly will (at some point) be able to optimize correctly.