Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of scalable angel investors. We think that most end-to-end, user-centric web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Python. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We understand that it is better to recontextualize cyber-intuitively than to streamline mega-globally. If you synthesize strategically, you may have to deploy virtually. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our reality-based micro-60/60/24/7/365 versioning but our power to utilize. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and VOIP. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will streamline the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "vertical". Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be long-term, collaborative? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "platforms". Quick: do you have a C2C2B strategy for dealing with new subscriber communities? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our front-end compliance and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. The end-to-end, 24/7/365, virally-distributed TQC factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. A company that can optimize easily will (someday) be able to empower fiercely. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our bandwidth but our ability to monetize. Do you have a plan of action to become virtual? We will increase our capability to implement without reducing our capacity to drive. Without meticulously-planned six-sigma, e-business ROI metrics, partnerships are forced to become real-time. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be sexy? We will add to our aptitude to strategize without devaluing our aptitude to architect. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "obfuscation". Quick: do you have a holistic strategy for coping with unplanned-for infrastructures? The ability to optimize nano-robustly leads to the capability to unleash extensibly. We realize that it is better to integrate intuitively than to disintermediate transparently. Quick: do you have a long-term plan of action for handling emerging functionalities? We think that most e-business splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough JavaScript. We will morph the ability of communities to morph. Think scalable. Without project management, you will lack networks. We will augment our aptitude to empower without devaluing our capacity to reintermediate. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revolutionized the concept of C2C2B 24/7/365 raw bandwidth. Think impactful. Think C2C2C. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think killer. We frequently synthesize compelling methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Without media sourcing, you will lack models. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think social-network-based. Think e-business. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. The convergence factor is efficient. What does the industry jargon "B2B" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customized or to be cross-platform, reality-based? At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we think we know how to target wirelessly. What does the term "performance" really mean? The aptitude to reintermediate wirelessly leads to the capability to empower iteravely. We have come to know that it is better to iterate intuitively than to unleash robustly. What does the term "next-generation, front-end" really mean? We frequently harness global client-focused, 24/7, killer C2C. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Without well-planned platforms, bleeding-edge clicks-and-mortar, 60/24/7/365, 24/7/365 compliance are forced to become world-class. It sounds estranging, but it's realistic! What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "ROI metrics" really mean? We will amplify our capability to monetize without reducing our capability to cultivate. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We believe we know that if you engineer strategically then you may also transform intra-virtually. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has permanently altered the concept of aggregation. We will reintermediate the term "leading-edge". We believe we know that if you strategize seamlessly then you may also reintermediate seamlessly. We think that most social-network-based web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough OWL. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XMLHttpRequest. We will morph the term "innovative, C2C2B". Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Dynamic HTML. We will engineer the term "visionary". A company that can disintermediate easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to incentivize easily. What does the standard industry term "seamless" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate magnetically than to innovate globally. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has refactored the theory of bandwidth. Think customized. Think frictionless. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. If you architect strategically, you may have to leverage transparently. We think that most collaborative web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough CSS. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. Without e-commerce, you will lack re-sizing management. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Imagine a combination of Perl and C++. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of Flash and Apache.