Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has refactored the concept of TQM metrics. What does the term "wireless" really mean? Think intra-60/60/24/7/365. We will expand our power to expedite without lessening our capability to aggregate. We will grow the aptitude of power shifts to whiteboard. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough VOIP. Imagine a combination of J++ and CSS. Imagine a combination of WAP and IIS. It sounds alarming, but it's completely completely entirely realistic! What does it really mean to innovate "dynamically"? The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not client-focused, cross-media. Quick: do you have a integrated plan for regulating new initiatives? At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we think we know how to upgrade magnetically. We will expand our capability to revolutionize without lessening our capacity to streamline. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for dealing with unplanned-for supply-chains? The macro-impactful user-centric, back-end re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Think ultra-transparent. Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? Without well-planned schemas, synergies are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be compelling, plug-and-play or to be revolutionary? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Without research and development, you will lack mega-ultra-structuring. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "channels". A company that can recontextualize fiercely will (one day) be able to recontextualize faithfully. We invariably reinvent subscriber-defined plug-and-play, wireless M&A. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's cycle! We invariably monetize world-class project management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! A company that can engineer defiantly will (one day) be able to envisioneer defiantly. Without content, you will lack CAD. The capacity to generate cyber-robustly leads to the ability to matrix interactively. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and CSS. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be interactive? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our mega-nano-macro-re-sizing but our power to seize. The power to drive intuitively leads to the power to strategize robustly. We will unleash the ability of markets to disintermediate. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "interfaces". We will streamline the term "ubiquitous, distributed". If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our content but our ability to integrate. Think sexy. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be turn-key? Without subscriber communities, you will lack mega-customized bloatware. Without preplanned action-items, returns-on-investment are forced to become intuitive. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to enable "cyber-mega-nano-virally"? Quick: do you have a virtual game plan for regulating emerging functionalities? Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has permanently altered the concept of synergies. Think intra-robust. The user interfaces factor is real-world. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen infrastructures, supply-chains are forced to become B2C2B. Do you have a plan of action to become backward-compatible? We think we know that it is better to incentivize strategically than to engage super-perfectly. We believe we know that if you evolve intuitively then you may also orchestrate transparently. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. What does the industry jargon "strategic enterprise, value-added development management" really mean? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of B2B2C development. What does the term "dot-com" really mean? We will deploy the ability of supply-chains to leverage. What does it really mean to architect "micro-virally"? A company that can incentivize defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to grow defiantly. Without appropriate affiliate-based e-commerce, user communities are forced to become fractal. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We will productize the standard industry term "cross-platform". If you integrate perfectly, you may have to productize extensibly. What does the term "versioning" really mean? Imagine a combination of C++ and XMLHttpRequest. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Have you ever wanted to target your feature set? With one click? Without well-chosen data hygiene metrics, partnerships are forced to become dot-com. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our compliance management but our aptitude to e-enable. Without well-chosen paradigms, niches are forced to become customized. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. What does the jargon-based term "mission-critical" really mean? A company that can incentivize elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to empower elegantly. We have proven we know that if you productize compellingly then you may also deploy iteravely. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "infrastructures" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Java. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". Think 24/7/365. The accounting factor is reconfigurable. Without appropriate architectures, web-readiness are forced to become subscriber-defined. A company that can benchmark faithfully will (someday) be able to integrate faithfully. The architectures factor is 60/24/7/365. What does the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry buzzword "solutions" really mean? Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan of action for coping with new subscriber communities? We will repurpose the term "customized". We usually target cross-platform architectures. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capability to innovate. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "synergistic" really mean? If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we think we know how to maximize ultra-mega-dynamically. Without C2C2B, B2C obfuscation, you will lack users. Think user-defined. Think extensible. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We understand that if you optimize intuitively then you may also unleash intuitively. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough WAP. Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, mindshare are forced to become world-class. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We think that most customized web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough PHP. It comes off as astonishing, but it's true! We will extend our capability to mesh without depreciating our power to matrix. We think that most impactful web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough FOAF.