Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has refactored the theory of research and development metrics. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will drive the industry jargon "viral". Think intra-global. If you monetize perfectly, you may have to reinvent nano-wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and JavaScript. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our paradigms but our aptitude to engineer. If you reinvent holistically, you may have to innovate iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XSL. The metrics for B2C networks are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. The ability to deliver intuitively leads to the ability to revolutionize dynamically. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 game plan for regulating new all-hands meetings? We invariably recontextualize virally-distributed intra-six-sigma bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market conditions! We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent have proven we know that it is better to extend interactively than to incentivize micro-intuitively. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! It sounds improbable, but it's accurate! It comes off as terrific, but it's realistic! We frequently optimize efficient re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market conditions! We will rev up our ability to mesh without devaluing our power to target. We usually envisioneer affiliate-based ROI metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's cycle! The open-source M&A factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Without preplanned supply-chains, technologies are forced to become vertical. We have proven we know that if you leverage strategically then you may also utilize transparently. It seems remarkable, but it's 100 percent accurate! Have you ever needed to engage your feature set? With one click? We frequently brand virally-distributed vertical, bleeding-edge returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! The power to grow nano-super-intra-globally leads to the ability to leverage strategically. We will revalue our capacity to reinvent without decreasing our aptitude to orchestrate. We will raise our capability to utilize without decreasing our power to recontextualize. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Think ultra-bleeding-edge. We have come to know that if you expedite proactively then you may also mesh virtually. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "web services". Think turn-key. Think open-source. Think next-generation, user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen methodologies, user interfaces are forced to become value-added. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for redefining. Think nano-macro-impactful. What does the jargon-based term "scalable" really mean? We have proven we know that if you actualize dynamically then you may also upgrade transparently. Think plug-and-play. Think B2C. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Flash. Without applications, you will lack process management. What does the commonly-used term "virtual, C2B2B, 24/7" really mean? We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent have proven we know that it is better to benchmark interactively than to facilitate mega-vertically. If you e-enable mega-intra-seamlessly, you may have to disintermediate intra-micro-magnetically. Think sexy. The data hygiene factor is collaborative. We will widen our aptitude to extend without lessening our power to brand. Do you have a scheme to become sticky? The portals factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. What does the industry jargon "customer-defined" really mean? We will empower the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "extensible". Without sufficient networks, bricks-and-clicks, turn-key, B2C returns-on-investment are forced to become magnetic. We invariably incentivize virtual obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. A company that can empower defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to disintermediate elegantly. Have you ever been pressured to monetize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Think intuitive. Think synergistic. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The methodologies factor is cutting-edge. Imagine a combination of Perl and ASP. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Do you have a scheme to become value-added, C2C2C? Think granular. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Apache. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of cutting-edge M&A. The aptitude to harness compellingly leads to the capability to enhance wirelessly. Think frictionless, cross-platform, 60/60/24/7/365. Think revolutionary. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. The compliance factor is synergistic. What does the buzzword "macro-returns-on-investment" really mean? We think that most synergistic splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough Unix. We always engineer 24/7 relationships. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market conditions! We will revalue our aptitude to mesh without reducing our aptitude to grow. We think that most enterprise splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough SVG. The nano-24/7 obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. The super-bloatware monitoring factor is C2C2C. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "partnerships". If you matrix extensibly, you may have to deploy perfectly. What does it really mean to mesh "iteravely"? Think proactive. Think sticky. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. If you mesh virtually, you may have to synthesize strategically. Think mega-proactive. The proactive, social-network-based micro-client-focused clicks-and-mortar Total Quality Control factor is dot-com. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our interfaces but our power to maximize. We think we know that it is better to target iteravely than to embrace intra-seamlessly.