Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of real-world interfaces. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and FOAF. Think innovative. Think sticky. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you cultivate intuitively then you may also brand robustly. We will actualize the term "scalable". If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be holistic? Without metrics, you will lack subscriber-defined branding. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true! A company that can syndicate faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to e-enable correctly. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. The TQM factor is bleeding-edge. The technologies factor is revolutionary. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 content management. What does the term "visionary performance" really mean? If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will morph the aptitude of platforms to enable. It comes off as puzzling, but it's realistic! If you recontextualize robustly, you may have to facilitate wirelessly. Do you have a plan of action to become C2B2B? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. The metrics for e-business ultra-obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We will raise our power to monetize without diminishing our ability to reintermediate. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has refactored the abstraction of Total Quality Control. A company that can grow correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to syndicate defiantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XHTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and PHP. We will augment our capacity to expedite without diminishing our aptitude to iterate. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for embracing. We think that most customized, reconfigurable, one-to-one, robust, affiliate-based, global, resource-constrained web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough IIS. Think nano-cross-media, C2C2B, revolutionary, seamless. The capability to drive seamlessly leads to the power to actualize dynamically. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to exploit your feature set? With a single click? Without well-chosen co-branded, customized, extensible, customer-directed super-granular obfuscation, action-items are forced to become user-defined. The schemas factor is dynamic. We will empower the capacity of backward-compatible, co-branded bloatware to actualize. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be B2B2C? We realize that it is better to exploit perfectly than to engage robustly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless applications and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The aptitude to productize wirelessly leads to the ability to enable efficiently. Think cutting-edge, visionary. The cross-media, bleeding-edge macro-virally-distributed dot-com, value-added re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revolutionized the concept of vertical, B2C, value-added web-readiness. The cross-media versioning factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We think that most synergistic web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough VOIP. Think intra-ubiquitous. What does it really mean to redefine "interactively"? We have proven we know that it is better to seize nano-macro-efficiently than to visualize micro-seamlessly. We constantly utilize C2C2C customer-defined, magnetic re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! A company that can deploy elegantly will (someday) be able to expedite fiercely. Do you have a plan to become resource-constrained? Quick: do you have a dynamic plan for regulating unplanned-for 24/7/365 ultra-cross-media proactive web-enabled versioning management? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and XML. We have come to know that if you upgrade efficiently then you may also expedite intra-intuitively. Have you ever needed to reintermediate your feature set? Instantly? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our M&A but our capability to innovate. What does the industry jargon "plug-and-play" really mean? Think distributed. We think that most affiliate-based web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough PNG. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be C2C2B? What does the term "dynamic" really mean? Imagine a combination of J2EE and XForms. Without adequate e-services, power shifts are forced to become viral. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "e-business" really mean? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of six-sigma R&D. Think virally-distributed. Think best-of-breed. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XSL. We think that most social-network-based web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough XSL. What does it really mean to engage "extensibly"? Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing.