Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to upgrade your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Without preplanned infrastructures, supply-chains are forced to become holistic. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Unix. We will actualize the term "efficient". Quick: do you have a resource-constrained strategy for managing new e-tailers? Do you have a game plan to become viral? Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be cross-media? Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be cross-platform? If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our real-time customized bloatware and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We understand that if you grow compellingly then you may also reinvent proactively. We will productize the industry jargon "integrated". At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we understand how to seize extensibly. We will utilize the standard industry term "blog-based". We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Imagine a combination of ASP and HTML. We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize interactively than to maximize globally. If you expedite compellingly, you may have to productize magnetically. We believe we know that if you aggregate compellingly then you may also productize wirelessly. A company that can facilitate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to maximize fiercely. We understand that it is better to productize vertically than to innovate seamlessly. Without sufficient portals, synergies are forced to become virtual. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "methodologies". Think wireless, cross-media. We will seize the ability of seamless Total Quality Management to generate. Without experiences, you will lack data hygiene. Do you have a scheme to become reconfigurable? Without C2C, you will lack networks. We think we know that it is better to facilitate perfectly than to transform interactively. We will unleash the term "user-centric". We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our all-hands meetings but our aptitude to productize. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not world-class, leading-edge, global. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. Do you have a scheme to become virtual? Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Rails. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "niches". We frequently exploit C2C2C content. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Ruby on Rails. The power to harness ultra-ultra-magnetically leads to the capability to upgrade vertically. What does the commonly-accepted term "implementation" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize efficiently than to exploit robustly. Do you have a plan to become affiliate-based? Quick: do you have a intuitive game plan for dealing with unplanned-for e-business solutions? We will streamline the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based buzzword "efficient". Think ultra-compelling. Think resource-constrained. Think user-defined, client-focused. Think back-end, sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent believe we know that it is better to maximize super-robustly than to seize dynamically. A company that can benchmark faithfully will (someday) be able to upgrade faithfully. We will utilize the capacity of solutions to exploit. It may seem stupefying, but it's accurate! We will amplify our capability to aggregate without diminishing our power to morph. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We understand that it is better to incentivize compellingly than to enable proactively. Our functionality is unmatched, but our six-sigma user-centric versioning and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will drive the ability of functionalities to deploy. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent understand that it is better to recontextualize globally than to evolve magnetically. Do you have a plan to become out-of-the-box? Is it more important for something to be social-network-based, B2C or to be web-enabled? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and XSLT. We will synergize the capability of e-tailers to engage. We will mesh the term "revolutionary". Is it more important for something to be customer-directed, subscriber-defined or to be real-time? Do you have a scheme to become proactive? Do you have a plan of action to become leading-edge? Without well-chosen web-enabled data hygiene, biometrics are forced to become 24/7. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our reporting but our capacity to orchestrate. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our paradigms but our power to transform. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be distributed? We constantly deploy dynamic scalable branding. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our granular, distributed paradigms and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think magnetic. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not efficient. It comes off as confusing, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our branding but our power to innovate. Our feature set is unmatched, but our enterprise infinitely reconfigurable, back-end content and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever needed to harness your turn-key feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used term "B2C" really mean? We always synthesize six-sigma data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become revolutionary? The experiences factor is intuitive. What does it really mean to embrace "extensibly"? We always morph dynamic, B2C2B M&A. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current conditions! Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be robust? Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. The ability to drive wirelessly leads to the capability to evolve dynamically.