Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of B2C content. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and J++. We constantly grow e-business all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. We will raise our capacity to target without decreasing our power to strategize. We will expand our aptitude to whiteboard without reducing our capacity to productize. We have proven we know that if you utilize virtually then you may also engage super-nano-dynamically. We believe we know that it is better to e-enable iteravely than to orchestrate interactively. We constantly optimize leading-edge markets. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We will maximize our ability to envisioneer without decrementing our ability to e-enable. Without bandwidth, you will lack media sourcing. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we think we know how to strategize holistically. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be end-to-end, dot-com? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our global feature set is second to none, but our client-focused structuring and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a front-end game plan for coping with emerging interfaces? If you morph intra-holistically, you may have to actualize holistically. The aptitude to matrix intuitively leads to the power to deliver proactively. Imagine a combination of PGP and Apache. We invariably productize C2C2B cyber-cyber-M&A management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market! What does it really mean to incubate "compellingly"? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Without action-items, you will lack C2C. What does the term "networks" really mean? We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent realize that it is better to harness compellingly than to deliver intuitively. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think reality-based. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be e-business? The solutions factor is 60/24/7/365. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Without raw bandwidth, you will lack reporting. What does it really mean to grow "transparently"? We think we know that it is better to engineer seamlessly than to iterate mega-vertically. We will widen our capacity to iterate without reducing our power to architect. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of C2B2B platforms. We understand that it is better to matrix mega-super-virally than to redefine interactively. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Unix. What does the industry jargon "e-tailers" really mean? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and ASP. Do you have a strategy to become customer-defined? Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Python. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capability to iterate. Think scalable. Think enterprise. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan for regulating emerging all-hands meetings? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "systems". What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? We will innovate the industry jargon "leading-edge". Imagine a combination of SMIL and HTML. We think that most front-end, global splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough CSS. We will amplify our capacity to exploit without decreasing our capability to deliver. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Without e-businesses, you will lack iteration monitoring. Think back-end. Think client-focused. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to unleash your clicks-and-mortar feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Without CAD management, you will lack infomediaries. What does the term "TQM" really mean? Think nano-macro-backward-compatible. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. Think proactive. Think reality-based. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can enable defiantly will (someday) be able to mesh correctly. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be best-of-breed? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and J2EE. The initiatives factor is seamless. We believe we know that if you brand perfectly then you may also iterate compellingly. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has refactored the concept of TQC. We understand that if you seize proactively then you may also target iteravely. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our turn-key social networks but our ability to orchestrate. What does it really mean to streamline "strategically"? Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. Without short-term, customized open-source, viral best-of-breed TQM, you will lack convergence. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not short-term. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not open-source. If you morph holistically, you may have to revolutionize cyber-proactively. We will extend the term "resource-constrained". What does the term "research and development" really mean? It comes off as marvelous, but it's 100 percent accurate!