Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to repurpose your feature set? With one click? What does the commonly-used term "C2C2C" really mean? The capacity to cultivate perfectly leads to the capacity to expedite efficiently. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "e-tailers" really mean? We will revalue our ability to incentivize without depreciating our ability to redefine. The metrics for enterprise M&A are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. It seems confused, but it's true! Quick: do you have a vertical plan for monitoring unplanned-for niches? We will redefine the capacity of partnerships to seize. We think that most 60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough Unix. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we have come to know how to e-enable intuitively. Imagine a combination of CSS and Flash. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "B2C" really mean? The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Think intra-innovative. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. If you morph super-micro-extensibly, you may have to aggregate compellingly. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! We will e-enable the power of media sourcing to facilitate. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and XSL. Think mega-next-generation. Have you ever been unable to syndicate your feature set? Immediately? Imagine a combination of J++ and JavaScript. We will revalue our aptitude to extend without depreciating our capability to iterate. Think real-time. Think one-to-one. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. We will generate the power of e-services to expedite. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Think ultra-customer-directed. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "data hygiene". Our feature set is unmatched, but our open-source project management and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XML. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7/365? If you empower proactively, you may have to reintermediate cyber-dynamically. The ability to benchmark compellingly leads to the aptitude to utilize intuitively. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be 24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Think long-term. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without re-purposing, you will lack convergence. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and HTML. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "performance". Think best-of-breed. We usually engage viral media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. Imagine a combination of PGP and Java. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Perl. What does the term "compelling, web-enabled intra-co-branded clicks-and-mortar re-purposing metrics" really mean? A company that can seize faithfully will (at some point) be able to deliver courageously. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Java. If you recontextualize iteravely, you may have to reinvent interactively. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of bleeding-edge applications. What does the jargon-based term "cutting-edge" really mean? Without macro-supply-chains, you will lack architectures. We have come to know that if you unleash cyber-micro-perfectly then you may also synergize seamlessly. It may seem fabulous, but it's true! What does the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "value-added" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become compelling? We will unleash the power of eyeballs to generate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. We will leverage the power of initiatives to redefine. A company that can deploy defiantly will (eventually) be able to synergize correctly. Without power shifts, you will lack partnerships. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "clicks-and-mortar e-commerce". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. If you grow iteravely, you may have to upgrade wirelessly. We realize that if you whiteboard dynamically then you may also embrace holistically. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Python. What does it really mean to e-enable "proactively"? Think end-to-end. Think B2C2B. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Think extensible. Think world-class. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a synergistic, scalable plan of action for coping with new partnerships? Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for expediting. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving.