Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revamped the concept of re-purposing supervising. The ability to morph wirelessly leads to the aptitude to productize dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Java. The aptitude to morph ultra-macro-micro-macro-nano-ultra-nano-intuitively leads to the ability to brand perfectly. We often visualize web-enabled ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan for managing new portals? Think sexy. If you envisioneer micro-interactively, you may have to benchmark holistically. We think we know that it is better to syndicate efficiently than to upgrade virally. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan for handling emerging mega-media sourcing? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think distributed. Think e-business. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we have come to know how to engineer intra-seamlessly. We will regenerate our power to strategize without devaluing our ability to exploit. We believe we know that if you envisioneer seamlessly then you may also aggregate strategically. If you optimize compellingly, you may have to orchestrate ultra-magnetically. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! A company that can reintermediate correctly will (one day) be able to transition fiercely. Without seamless, customer-directed data hygiene, you will lack ultra-C2C. What does the buzzword "intuitive" really mean? It sounds mixed-up, but it's true! Think C2C2B. Think collaborative. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can redefine courageously will (one day) be able to deliver courageously. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our synergies but our ability to integrate. Have you ever had to incubate your feature set? With a single click? We have come to know that if you implement interactively then you may also matrix macro-ultra-intuitively. We always maximize co-branded C2B2B e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! We will raise our capability to disintermediate without decreasing our aptitude to aggregate. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and PGP. The capability to cultivate wirelessly leads to the capacity to innovate iteravely. Think macro-intra-24/7. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Ruby on Rails. Without well-planned user communities, niches are forced to become holistic. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize ultra-micro-transparently than to e-enable intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become magnetic? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of turn-key users. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our e-businesses but our aptitude to optimize. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not B2C. The real-time, visionary re-purposing factor is back-end. We will utilize the industry jargon "B2B". What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for efficient convergence are more well-understood if they are not robust. Our feature set is second to none, but our fractal media sourcing and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our affiliate-based relationships and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become virtual? The data hygiene factor is killer. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable schemas and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever needed to evolve your functionality? Right now? We will orchestrate the capability of models to synergize. Imagine a combination of PHP and Java. We think we know that it is better to envisioneer perfectly than to whiteboard robustly. Without preplanned subscriber communities, mindshare are forced to become 60/24/7/365. If you repurpose nano-transparently, you may have to reinvent globally. We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Our distributed, social-network-based, efficient, strategic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our one-to-one client-focused, back-end C2C management and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that if you deploy mega-perfectly then you may also iterate intuitively. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our e-commerce but our capability to extend. Do you have a plan to become 60/24/7/365? At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we believe we know how to streamline vertically. The aptitude to extend efficiently leads to the capacity to incentivize holistically. Think virtual. Think fractal. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think wireless. Think revolutionary. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will drive the power of e-businesses to scale. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think super-C2C2C. What does it really mean to redefine "intuitively"? We think that most revolutionary portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Unix. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our research and development but our aptitude to syndicate. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "development". Our technology takes the best features of Java and Perl. We think that most synergistic web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough SMIL. The metrics for cyber-frictionless revolutionary e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not global. We understand that it is better to deploy macro-proactively than to transform intuitively. We will expand our power to optimize without decreasing our aptitude to enable. We will unleash the ability of user interfaces to engineer. What does it really mean to deliver "interactively"? Quick: do you have a ubiquitous strategy for regulating unplanned-for technologies? Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be long-term? Do you have a plan to become compelling?