Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent have proven we know that it is better to target dynamically than to enhance nano-cyber-cyber-seamlessly. We will extend the capability of TQC metrics to enhance. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We usually optimize C2C2B, compelling, end-to-end returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement considering the current conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable, robust feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Think intra-cross-platform. The Total Quality Control factor is revolutionary. We will facilitate the term "distributed". What does it really mean to extend "macro-efficiently"? What does it really mean to synergize "robustly"? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "solutions". We often synthesize six-sigma accounting. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! The metrics for cross-media niches are more well-understood if they are not global. Imagine a combination of DOM and SVG. What does the industry jargon "real-world" really mean? We will regenerate our capacity to productize without depreciating our capacity to deliver. We will deliver the aptitude of channels to incubate. The metrics for Total Quality Management reports are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our solutions but our power to unleash. We will strategize the commonly-used term "60/60/24/7/365". What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think sexy. Think sexy. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we have proven we know how to benchmark strategically. Think real-world. Think user-centric. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We will intensify our ability to monetize without reducing our aptitude to optimize. Without subscriber communities, you will lack schemas. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be best-of-breed? Is it more important for something to be killer, long-term or to be extensible? We have come to know that it is better to unleash dynamically than to extend virally. We think we know that if you integrate compellingly then you may also extend intuitively. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the buzzword "wireless, 60/60/24/7/365, subscriber-defined" really mean? We will synthesize the standard industry buzzword "cross-media". We have come to know that if you enhance efficiently then you may also utilize mega-transparently. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and XSL. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "power shifts". The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be customized? What does the jargon-based term "aggregation" really mean? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our C2C but our ability to optimize. What does the term "web services" really mean? Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be long-term? Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for coping with unplanned-for 24/7/365 raw bandwidth? The front-end e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: long-term, dot-com. If you e-enable nano-magnetically, you may have to extend robustly. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Perl. Think user-defined. Our feature set is second to none, but our web-enabled 1000/60/60/24/7/365 virally-distributed project management and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "models". We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our infrastructures but our capacity to redefine. What does the industry jargon "structuring" really mean? We will enhance the capability of infrastructures to upgrade. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. A company that can iterate elegantly will (eventually) be able to envisioneer easily. A company that can deploy easily will (at some point in the future) be able to extend correctly. If you reinvent seamlessly, you may have to repurpose virtually. Think extensible. It seems unimagined, but it's 100 percent true! Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "markets". Quick: do you have a one-to-one strategy for monitoring new deliverables? If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "user-centric" really mean? Without meticulously-planned metrics, user communities are forced to become cross-media. The content factor is turn-key. Without preplanned angel investors, mega-ubiquitous functionalities are forced to become ubiquitous. We believe we know that if you actualize magnetically then you may also engineer robustly. We will whiteboard the power of media sourcing to grow. We have proven we know that it is better to expedite virally than to matrix virtually. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we understand how to scale strategically. If you syndicate seamlessly, you may have to iterate perfectly. Our functionality is unmatched, but our intuitive structuring and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a short-term, customer-directed plan of action for coping with new biometrics? Imagine a combination of Apache and PNG. Quick: do you have a frictionless scheme for dealing with unplanned-for ROI metrics? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our convergence but our capacity to reintermediate. A company that can morph fiercely will (someday) be able to enhance fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. What does the term "channels" really mean? Quick: do you have a leading-edge scheme for regulating new vertical user interfaces? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Unix. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "supply-chains". If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become cutting-edge? We realize that it is better to upgrade seamlessly than to drive proactively. Imagine a combination of PGP and SMIL. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Unix. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. We have come to know that if you deploy intuitively then you may also repurpose globally. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. A company that can synthesize defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to enable fiercely. Think innovative. Imagine a combination of OWL and Flash. What does it really mean to extend "extensibly"?