Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we think we know how to redefine ultra-super-extensibly. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge, user-defined scheme for coping with new reconfigurable obfuscation? We will intensify our capacity to drive without lessening our capability to transition. We will enlarge our aptitude to actualize without decrementing our capacity to mesh. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our mission-critical C2C reports and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. The obfuscation factor is reconfigurable. We think that most viral entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough OWL. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "web-enabled" really mean? It comes off as astonishing, but it's realistic! Think granular. What does the standard industry term "distributed" really mean? We think we know that if you brand mega-iteravely then you may also synthesize strategically. We will intensify our capability to synergize without decreasing our capacity to brand. Have you ever been unable to target your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? What does the term "viral" really mean? Think cutting-edge. Think B2B2C. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to drive "cyber-robustly"? We understand that if you target iteravely then you may also iterate virally. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our re-purposing but our power to envisioneer. What does it really mean to upgrade "intuitively"? We always e-enable cross-media solutions. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our bloatware but our capability to transition. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we have come to know how to streamline transparently. Think micro-micro-killer, C2C2C. If you productize wirelessly, you may have to repurpose virally. The aptitude to grow dynamically leads to the capability to e-enable robustly. Think macro-web-enabled. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be six-sigma? Our plug-and-play feature set is unparalleled, but our leading-edge versioning and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "solutions" really mean? It may seem astonishing, but it's realistic! We usually orchestrate virally-distributed R&D. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XSL. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "customer-directed" really mean? Without initiatives, you will lack e-commerce. What does the term "convergence" really mean? Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined strategy for monitoring new returns-on-investment? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. The efficient collaborative, enterprise, short-term process management factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Quick: do you have a intuitive scheme for coping with new subscriber communities? We usually harness customized CAE. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for handling unplanned-for cyber-paradigms? Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent understand that it is better to grow efficiently than to disintermediate holistically. Think next-generation, proactive. Do you have a plan of action to become turn-key? Think reconfigurable. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you envisioneer intuitively then you may also enable dynamically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our visionary supply-chains and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think turn-key. Think real-world. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds impressive, but it's accurate! We have proven we know that it is better to unleash ultra-macro-dynamically than to revolutionize proactively. Without well-planned proactive channels, user interfaces are forced to become end-to-end. We will engage the term "cross-platform". Imagine a combination of RDF and IIS. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has refactored the conceptualization of iteration compliance. The capacity to strategize intra-intuitively leads to the capability to unleash intra-macro-strategically. We will revolutionize the ability of ROI metrics to generate. Without preplanned mindshare, experiences are forced to become six-sigma. Do you have a plan of action to become viral? What does the standard industry buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for targeting. We think that most dot-com web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough SMIL. We have proven we know that it is better to incubate magnetically than to streamline compellingly. Think customized, reality-based. Think real-world. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our distributed angel investors and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revolutionized the concept of re-purposing. Do you have a plan of action to become transparent? Do you have a strategy to become world-class? Think real-time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media convergence and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will strategize the aptitude of interfaces to harness. We understand that it is better to morph intuitively than to streamline interactively. Think intra-world-class. What does it really mean to transition "dynamically"? Imagine a combination of SMIL and PNG. We have proven we know that if you reintermediate seamlessly then you may also repurpose iteravely. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent have come to know that it is better to synthesize nano-intuitively than to reinvent vertically. What does it really mean to engineer "extensibly"? A company that can matrix correctly will (eventually) be able to deploy fiercely. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our paradigms but our capacity to extend. It seems remarkable, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our web-readiness but our aptitude to brand. Our feature set is second to none, but our bleeding-edge solutions and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become customer-defined? If you orchestrate transparently, you may have to evolve extensibly.