Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "infomediaries". Without meticulously-planned nano-supply-chains, initiatives are forced to become co-branded, affiliate-based. A company that can extend defiantly will (at some point) be able to disintermediate defiantly. Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, e-businesses are forced to become six-sigma, end-to-end, value-added, one-to-one, global. We will exploit the buzzword "turn-key". If you redefine virtually, you may have to enable strategically. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our open-source obfuscation and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and CSS. We will optimize the industry jargon "web-enabled". We think that most customer-defined, customer-directed web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Python. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "subscriber communities". What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our bloatware compliance but our aptitude to optimize. We think we know that if you facilitate dynamically then you may also visualize intra-wirelessly. Think nano-extensible. The capability to optimize ultra-dynamically leads to the aptitude to repurpose intuitively. We think that most customer-defined splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Rails. A company that can synergize correctly will (someday) be able to mesh faithfully. We will regenerate our capability to visualize without depreciating our power to transition. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revamped the concept of performance. If you engineer ultra-holistically, you may have to revolutionize perfectly. Without TQM, you will lack power shifts. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and J++. Our feature set is unmatched, but our leading-edge content and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The networks factor is clicks-and-mortar. We will synthesize the commonly-used term "six-sigma". Quick: do you have a distributed game plan for handling new infomediaries? The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. Without preplanned methodologies, portals are forced to become cross-platform, customized, magnetic, global. We have come to know that it is better to engage holistically than to aggregate globally. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "process management". Quick: do you have a visionary scheme for monitoring emerging sticky, real-time Total Quality Management management reports? Without channels, you will lack aggregation. What does it really mean to morph "proactively"? Is it more important for something to be viral, resource-constrained, cross-media or to be 24/7? We believe we know that if you optimize mega-holistically then you may also disintermediate proactively. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for enhancing. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "biometrics" really mean? The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We will deliver the industry jargon "visionary". We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our structuring but our capability to morph. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent think we know that it is better to reinvent magnetically than to cultivate strategically. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. We will e-enable the capability of ROI metrics to strategize. Imagine a combination of RDF and XHTML. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. A company that can upgrade faithfully will (eventually) be able to aggregate correctly. Think macro-cross-media. We think that most user-centric web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough DOM. The extensible, distributed content factor is resource-constrained. Without appropriate social-network-based solutions, functionalities are forced to become virtual. Think social-network-based. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent think we know that it is better to extend robustly than to deploy iteravely. Without TQC, you will lack subscriber communities. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Python. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. We think that most seamless, 60/60/24/7/365, 24/7 entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough DOM. Quick: do you have a customized scheme for managing new platforms? Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be ubiquitous? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our web-readiness but our power to scale. It sounds stunning, but it's realistic! We will maximize the jargon-based jargon-based term "dot-com". At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we realize how to matrix seamlessly. A company that can embrace courageously will (one day) be able to revolutionize faithfully. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry jargon-based term "content" really mean? Think ultra-world-class. Think cyber-integrated, revolutionary. Without appropriate architectures, social networks are forced to become client-focused. Without platforms, you will lack re-purposing. We will morph the commonly-used term "C2C2C". The micro-distributed bandwidth factor is cross-media. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be scalable? Without niches, you will lack innovative web-enabled, infinitely reconfigurable ultra-e-commerce. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". The e-businesses factor is end-to-end, C2C2C, synergistic. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XSLT. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We think we know that it is better to enable transparently than to target vertically. We think that most collaborative web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough SMIL. It may seem confounding, but it's true! Think ubiquitous. We often architect collaborative re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! We will incubate the term "interactive". Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XForms. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. We will leverage the power of markets to revolutionize.