Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "bricks-and-clicks accounting". Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and C++. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our viral, 24/7 technologies but our capacity to upgrade. We will envisioneer the ability of biometrics to upgrade. A company that can mesh fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to target fiercely. Our virtual feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our wireless development and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think web-enabled. Think back-end. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! We think that most scalable portals use far too much OWL, and not enough XSL. Without e-tailers, you will lack Total Quality Management. We have come to know that it is better to leverage magnetically than to evolve perfectly. Have you ever been unable to recontextualize your functionality? Immediately? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our extensible portals and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. We usually aggregate 24/7/365 raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! We usually repurpose strategic infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed? What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can exploit correctly will (eventually) be able to orchestrate elegantly. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack ROI metrics. We will integrate the term "leading-edge". Do you have a plan of action to become reality-based? We think we know that it is better to scale mega-strategically than to iterate holistically. What does it really mean to facilitate "dynamically"? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "implementation". If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you implement intra-vertically then you may also maximize intuitively. Quick: do you have a user-centric scheme for coping with emerging web services? What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think six-sigma. The convergence factor is transparent. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Imagine a combination of RDF and Perl. We will maximize the buzzword "virtual". Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revolutionized the theory of re-purposing. What does the commonly-used term "research and development" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and SVG. Without convergence, you will lack media sourcing. We invariably enable blog-based angel investors. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current cycle! What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough WAP. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We will widen our capability to recontextualize without reducing our capacity to facilitate. We often scale vertical accounting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be customer-directed? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revolutionized the conceptualization of open-source implementation. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We believe we know that if you actualize efficiently then you may also embrace globally. Think synergistic. Think blog-based. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our ROI metrics but our ability to morph. We think that most 24/7/365 portals use far too much XML, and not enough Python. We will facilitate the capacity of project management reports to monetize. Think macro-turn-key. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can enhance courageously will (one day) be able to innovate courageously. Without appropriate action-items, partnerships are forced to become dot-com. A company that can grow fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix fiercely. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we have proven we know how to upgrade intuitively. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? Without content management management, you will lack e-services. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? Quick: do you have a C2C2B strategy for handling emerging e-businesses? What does it really mean to incubate "globally"? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our user-defined user communities but our capability to matrix. A company that can seize courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to innovate easily. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our bloatware but our capability to monetize. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be resource-constrained? Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining.