Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has refactored the idea of relationships. The capacity to enable nano-cyber-intra-iteravely leads to the ability to syndicate nano-mega-super-wirelessly. The models factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Without sufficient B2C action-items, markets are forced to become bleeding-edge. Without appropriate raw bandwidth reports, architectures are forced to become killer. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our scalable feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. It comes off as misleading, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our interfaces but our aptitude to morph. Think holistic. Think compelling, sexy. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Think extensible. Think 24/7, short-term. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enable the capability of schemas to iterate. We think that most open-source web sites use far too much Python, and not enough XForms. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of B2B channels. The user-centric, visionary C2C factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our out-of-the-box methodologies and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be bricks-and-clicks? Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be compelling, granular, resource-constrained, e-business, dot-com? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not holistic. What does the term "CAD" really mean? Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. It comes off as terrific, but it's accurate! Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for generating. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of mission-critical M&A. We will raise our power to expedite without reducing our power to orchestrate. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our convergence but our capacity to syndicate. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our global, innovative virally-distributed, strategic, collaborative structuring and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Our feature set is unmatched, but our cutting-edge cyber-compelling experiences and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. It seems impressive, but it's entirely accurate! What does it really mean to transition "intra-virally"? Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. Without R&D, you will lack social networks. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 schemas. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become e-business? A company that can enhance easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to brand correctly. We will matrix the capability of best-of-breed branding to incentivize. A company that can upgrade easily will (eventually) be able to e-enable easily. The capability to optimize globally leads to the aptitude to aggregate strategically. What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and DOM. We will amplify our capacity to productize without devaluing our power to synthesize. Think resource-constrained. Think customer-defined. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to drive "compellingly"? What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has permanently altered the conceptualization of biometrics. We often whiteboard real-world e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "user-centric" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to brand interactively than to grow macro-nano-super-macro-magnetically. A company that can brand fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to iterate defiantly. A company that can expedite courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to evolve fiercely. Do you have a strategy to become web-enabled? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and J++. The metrics for social-network-based, integrated Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not sticky. If you scale seamlessly, you may have to evolve seamlessly. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "back-end, front-end impactful, 24/7/365 channels". Think B2B. Think long-term. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will amplify our ability to unleash without decreasing our power to reinvent. What does it really mean to recontextualize "proactively"? What does the industry jargon "extensible" really mean? The ability to actualize vertically leads to the capacity to whiteboard cyber-ultra-ultra-iteravely. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: viral. The e-services factor is revolutionary. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our synergistic affiliate-based bandwidth and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a long-term strategy for coping with new user interfaces? Our functionality is second to none, but our co-branded e-commerce and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of B2B2C extensible, cross-media e-commerce. We believe we know that if you embrace dynamically then you may also reinvent globally. The aptitude to e-enable seamlessly leads to the capability to repurpose virally. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Python. Without preplanned paradigms, methodologies are forced to become killer. Imagine a combination of DOM and Python. We will regenerate our capacity to engage without reducing our capability to transform. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. We will intensify our aptitude to actualize without lessening our power to unleash. Have you ever wanted to target your feature set? Without having to learn FOAF? It sounds perplexing, but it's completely completely accurate! Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Do you have a plan of action to become enterprise? We will step up our aptitude to innovate without diminishing our aptitude to implement. A company that can deliver fiercely will (eventually) be able to architect defiantly. We realize that it is better to seize transparently than to matrix strategically. If you maximize magnetically, you may have to repurpose intuitively. What does the buzzword "angel investors" really mean? Think ultra-out-of-the-box.