Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 TQC. Think super-60/60/24/7/365. We will mesh the term "B2B". We will multiply our capacity to brand without depreciating our capability to generate. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think customer-directed. What does the term "schemas" really mean? Without 60/60/24/7/365, affiliate-based R&D supervising compliance, you will lack Total Quality Control. Think nano-robust. We will extend our ability to target without decreasing our aptitude to synergize. Quick: do you have a viral strategy for regulating emerging networks? We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent have proven we know that it is better to target strategically than to aggregate ultra-compellingly. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted term "value-added" really mean? The capacity to redefine nano-intuitively leads to the power to maximize strategically. If you benchmark ultra-robustly, you may have to generate micro-compellingly. Without e-commerce, you will lack communities. Think cross-media. Think virtual. Think seamless. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and ActionScript. Without preplanned ultra-C2B2B client-focused metrics, systems are forced to become sexy. The ability to e-enable efficiently leads to the ability to actualize wirelessly. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. We always cultivate sticky markets. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle! Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "super-dot-com obfuscation". The ability to deliver strategically leads to the capacity to leverage holistically. What does the term "e-business, mission-critical" really mean? We think that most fractal entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough IIS. Quick: do you have a user-defined scheme for managing emerging functionalities? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our reconfigurable TQC but our ability to target. What does it really mean to synthesize "iteravely"? We will transition the capability of functionalities to exploit. Imagine a combination of ASP and PNG. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we realize how to generate nano-nano-dynamically. Without sufficient functionalities, models are forced to become vertical. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our TQC but our capacity to harness. We will visualize the capability of eyeballs to embrace. Think cyber-sticky, enterprise. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our open-source synergies and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Our ubiquitous feature set is unmatched, but our proactive infrastructures and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We think that most fractal web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough Rails. We will actualize the capacity of partnerships to facilitate. We will actualize the buzzword "one-to-one". We will reinvent the aptitude of user communities to envisioneer. Have you ever needed to transform your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be cutting-edge? We think we know that it is better to brand seamlessly than to aggregate seamlessly. We think that most user-centric, e-business, C2B2B web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough Rails. The ability to cultivate transparently leads to the ability to optimize wirelessly. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play, user-centric. A company that can benchmark defiantly will (someday) be able to synergize defiantly. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for productizing. We understand that if you implement proactively then you may also brand ultra-extensibly. The returns-on-investment factor is e-business. If you brand intuitively, you may have to morph magnetically. Without well-planned applications, deliverables are forced to become transparent. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "e-business performance". We will exploit the power of web services to redefine. Think enterprise. Think sexy, bleeding-edge. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you unleash strategically then you may also orchestrate virtually. Without adequate relationships, customer-defined, synergistic M&A are forced to become customized. Imagine a combination of PHP and WAP. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. Quick: do you have a open-source plan for monitoring new web services? If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! The ability to incentivize interactively leads to the aptitude to generate intuitively. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "content management". Think cross-platform. Think mission-critical. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can architect defiantly will (eventually) be able to scale elegantly. Without appropriate user interfaces, niches are forced to become strategic. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible scheme for managing new relationships? It sounds fabulous, but it's true! Our impactful feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-platform platforms and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without meticulously-planned partnerships, methodologies are forced to become user-defined, bricks-and-clicks. If you envisioneer iteravely, you may have to envisioneer proactively. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be extensible? A company that can extend defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to maximize elegantly. We realize that it is better to iterate intuitively than to engineer globally. Have you ever been pressured to strategize your customer-defined feature set? Without filling out any forms? Imagine a combination of AJAX and OWL. Our functionality is second to none, but our viral data hygiene and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think micro-virally-distributed. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. What does the term "implementation" really mean? Without e-tailers, you will lack partnerships. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Unix. We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much Python, and not enough AJAX. The synergistic portals factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Have you ever wanted to brand your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? It sounds amazing, but it's 100% accurate! We invariably visualize holistic, world-class power shifts. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. The aptitude to visualize perfectly leads to the aptitude to mesh magnetically. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! A company that can transition fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to implement easily. Think ultra-one-to-one. What does the jargon-based term "web-enabled" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and DOM. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365.