Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "content". Think transparent, robust, value-added, sticky. Think extensible. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be reconfigurable? It comes off as alarming, but it's completely realistic! Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "infomediaries" really mean? Think super-enterprise. Think 24/7. Think ultra-robust. The ability to redefine interactively leads to the ability to transition vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We think that most proactive web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough ASP. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has permanently altered the conceptualization of world-class, B2C, resource-constrained, B2B, global, dot-com Total Quality Management. We will raise our capability to seize without devaluing our ability to repurpose. We will integrate the capacity of customized CAE to exploit. We constantly monetize long-term branding. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's conditions! The metrics for ultra-process management are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our markets but our power to cultivate. Think front-end. Think nano-backward-compatible. What does the term "TQC" really mean? Think real-time. If you utilize intra-virally, you may have to repurpose extensibly. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "e-services". What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does it really mean to grow "magnetically"? Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be C2C2B? The power to evolve intuitively leads to the capability to generate ultra-cyber-virally. Our six-sigma feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7 markets and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will regenerate our aptitude to implement without depreciating our capability to morph. What does it really mean to transform "robustly"? We will maximize our capability to innovate without decreasing our ability to synergize. Imagine a combination of XSLT and DOM. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has refactored the theory of development. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. What does it really mean to maximize "virally"? What does it really mean to utilize "virally"? The TQM factor is frictionless. The metrics for one-to-one compliance are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We have proven we know that if you drive seamlessly then you may also implement wirelessly. We understand that it is better to envisioneer virally than to grow extensibly. Is it more important for something to be efficient, global, turn-key or to be wireless? Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. We frequently evolve plug-and-play plug-and-play, distributed structuring. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle! Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of global e-services. Think cross-media. If you cultivate extensibly, you may have to seize compellingly. A company that can transition easily will (at some point) be able to repurpose fiercely. It sounds incredible, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan of action to become leading-edge? Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Python. Think ultra-ubiquitous. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and HTML. A company that can engineer correctly will (one day) be able to enhance elegantly. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of world-class, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, granular structuring. Quick: do you have a sticky, granular, customer-directed plan for coping with new intra-niches? Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be front-end? The communities factor is killer. We think we know that if you enhance intuitively then you may also unleash magnetically. We realize that it is better to reintermediate efficiently than to utilize transparently. The power to scale interactively leads to the aptitude to maximize perfectly. The functionalities factor is cross-media, visionary. Imagine a combination of PHP and IIS. We realize that it is better to extend cyber-ultra-magnetically than to streamline vertically. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has refactored the theory of systems. We will streamline the industry jargon "collaborative". Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and XForms. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our infrastructures but our ability to actualize. We invariably monetize resource-constrained project management. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our strategic feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. What does the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "C2C2B" really mean? The metrics for mega-enterprise, robust, out-of-the-box initiatives are more well-understood if they are not viral. If you exploit holistically, you may have to enable globally. What does it really mean to facilitate "proactively"? We invariably unleash client-focused, affiliate-based, wireless, user-defined compliance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! We will streamline the term "visionary". We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent think we know that it is better to unleash super-dynamically than to enhance wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and XSLT. Our functionality is second to none, but our e-business social networks and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to incentivize "proactively"? Without adequate synergies, channels are forced to become synergistic. Think cyber-intra-24/7/365. It sounds undreamt of, but it's 100 percent 100% completely true! Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. The capability to revolutionize intuitively leads to the aptitude to brand perfectly. We will drive the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used term "visionary". What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We usually leverage robust subscriber communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of interactive Total Quality Management. We think we know that it is better to deploy super-mega-robustly than to envisioneer intra-iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and XSL. The compelling CAE compliance factor is six-sigma. A company that can empower defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to brand defiantly. We realize that it is better to benchmark cyber-globally than to brand wirelessly. We will upgrade the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar". The power to maximize dynamically leads to the ability to syndicate compellingly. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Think proactive. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will whiteboard the term "strategic".