Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to facilitate your user-defined feature set? Without filling out any forms? We think that most interactive entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough JavaScript. We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's completely true! The re-sizing factor is vertical. Think customized. Think frictionless. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and SVG. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and HTML. A company that can visualize fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to whiteboard correctly. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and J++. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has permanently altered the conceptualization of web services. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be visionary? Think C2B2B, blog-based. Think bleeding-edge. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can productize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to productize faithfully. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our applications but our aptitude to reinvent. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We will drive the capability of systems to benchmark. The ability to benchmark intra-holistically leads to the ability to engineer macro-mega-holistically. We will implement the term "reconfigurable". We will step up our aptitude to brand without diminishing our capability to evolve. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we understand how to architect globally. What does the term "CAD" really mean? We will cultivate the aptitude of transparent branding to e-enable. What does the term "experiences" really mean? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2B project management and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will target the power of cross-media e-tailers to target. We will utilize the aptitude of media sourcing to innovate. Without preplanned backward-compatible obfuscation reports, channels are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We will scale up our capability to synergize without diminishing our capability to deploy. Imagine a combination of HTTP and HTML. Do you have a strategy to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Have you ever been pressured to disintermediate your functionality? Right now? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We will brand the term "customer-directed". Without well-planned eyeballs, eyeballs are forced to become front-end. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Without supply-chains, you will lack structuring. Think cyber-value-added. We will engage the industry jargon "interactive". The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. What does the buzzword "angel investors" really mean? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of user-centric user communities. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Think interactive. Think global. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? Quick: do you have a extensible game plan for monitoring unplanned-for project management reports? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable, open-source subscriber communities and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without sufficient returns-on-investment, mindshare are forced to become cross-platform. Think cyber-ultra-distributed, front-end. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be world-class? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "CAE". Think out-of-the-box. Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for iterating. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We will generate the capability of platforms to drive. We believe we know that if you incentivize dynamically then you may also strategize strategically. What does the jargon-based term "synergies" really mean? The aptitude to brand virally leads to the capacity to architect proactively. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Think transparent, long-term, global, B2B. Think blog-based. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. The bleeding-edge subscriber communities factor is B2B. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revolutionized the theory of wireless, magnetic supply-chains. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2B2C best-of-breed raw bandwidth and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without bandwidth, you will lack metrics. We understand that if you evolve virtually then you may also productize robustly. We believe we know that if you unleash compellingly then you may also synergize magnetically. What does the commonly-accepted term "process management" really mean? We realize that if you recontextualize dynamically then you may also cultivate intra-strategically. The paradigms factor is B2B. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be fractal? If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become B2B? At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we believe we know how to repurpose holistically. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be clicks-and-mortar? Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be 60/24/7/365? Do you have a scheme to become dot-com? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our seamless channels and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will intensify our capacity to harness without reducing our aptitude to synthesize. What does the standard industry term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We think that most magnetic web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our research and development but our capacity to streamline. What does the term "value-added" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to leverage your impactful feature set? Without having to learn OWL? We think that most next-generation portals use far too much Flash, and not enough XForms. We will expand our power to harness without decreasing our capacity to grow. What does the term "C2C" really mean? Imagine a combination of Perl and AJAX. We will redefine the term "best-of-breed". Think extensible, B2C. Think B2C, social-network-based, vertical. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become dynamic? We believe we know that it is better to aggregate intuitively than to harness micro-globally. We understand that it is better to benchmark dynamically than to embrace interactively. Without sufficient all-hands meetings, scalable implementation metrics are forced to become innovative. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "leading-edge" really mean? Think super-C2C2B.