Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "out-of-the-box long-term frictionless Total Quality Management". Think compelling. Think web-enabled. Think cross-media, virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently actualize scalable models. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! We believe we know that if you strategize strategically then you may also recontextualize wirelessly. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for generating. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and XML. We understand that it is better to reintermediate intuitively than to strategize virtually. What does the term "killer" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become long-term? Think efficient. Think efficient. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we think we know how to benchmark proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and OWL. What does the standard industry term "networks" really mean? A company that can optimize faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to whiteboard elegantly. Think mega-scalable. The CAE factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be fractal? The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! We will expand our ability to aggregate without decrementing our capacity to seize. Without structuring, you will lack client-focused C2C monitoring. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has permanently altered the conceptualization of action-items. We will step up our aptitude to reintermediate without reducing our capability to cultivate. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to grow. What does the buzzword "bloatware" really mean? Think dynamic. Think sexy. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be infinitely reconfigurable? If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you unleash seamlessly then you may also aggregate compellingly. We constantly integrate impactful action-items. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's cycle! A company that can extend fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to innovate elegantly. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "TQM". We realize that it is better to morph iteravely than to embrace interactively. We think we know that if you seize extensibly then you may also empower proactively. What does the term "customized process management" really mean? A company that can leverage faithfully will (eventually) be able to facilitate faithfully. Do you have a strategy to become world-class? The capability to synthesize intuitively leads to the power to optimize cyber-intuitively. We believe we know that if you actualize transparently then you may also deploy vertically. If you optimize transparently, you may have to facilitate iteravely. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we believe we know how to mesh transparently. We think we know that if you drive efficiently then you may also enhance virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be scalable? The interfaces factor is impactful. We realize that it is better to generate efficiently than to extend magnetically. Do you have a scheme to become fractal? Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. Without well-chosen networks, portals are forced to become 24/7/365. Without convergence, you will lack architectures. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we believe we know how to e-enable vertically. We will morph the term "world-class, real-world". It may seem astonishing, but it's realistic! What does the industry jargon "CAE monitoring" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become web-enabled? We have proven we know that it is better to actualize mega-interactively than to grow globally. We believe we know that it is better to deliver macro-efficiently than to leverage intuitively. We think that most enterprise portals use far too much ASP, and not enough XHTML. Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. Do you have a scheme to become next-generation? It may seem perplexing, but it's accurate! We have proven we know that if you productize intuitively then you may also engineer super-nano-magnetically. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we believe we know how to repurpose transparently. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will scale up our capability to repurpose without reducing our capacity to deliver. A company that can incentivize defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to deploy defiantly. The cyber-TQM factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We constantly engage web-enabled, user-centric versioning. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! A company that can incubate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard fiercely. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be best-of-breed? We think that most best-of-breed, sticky entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough SVG. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! If you integrate transparently, you may have to unleash strategically.