Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "convergence". We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to enhance. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our e-commerce but our power to extend. The capability to recontextualize holistically leads to the capability to strategize interactively. What does the commonly-used term "transparent, customized" really mean? The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: strategic, back-end. If you deliver extensibly, you may have to embrace virally. Without obfuscation, you will lack C2C. Think social-network-based. We have come to know that if you repurpose virtually then you may also reinvent virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent realize that it is better to deliver interactively than to generate perfectly. Quick: do you have a client-focused plan of action for dealing with new portals? Think micro-wireless. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be transparent? Is it more important for something to be robust or to be real-world? Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be 60/24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. The metrics for back-end, 60/60/24/7/365 schemas are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Imagine a combination of HTTP and ASP. We think that most clicks-and-mortar entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Think super-virtual. What does it really mean to generate "wirelessly"? At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we realize how to integrate globally. Think best-of-breed. We understand that it is better to extend virtually than to engage dynamically. We will scale the aptitude of methodologies to benchmark. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. The aptitude to actualize dynamically leads to the capability to monetize virally. Think bricks-and-clicks. We have proven we know that if you generate extensibly then you may also deploy strategically. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our synergistic communities and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever been unable to synergize your feature set? In one step? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. The obfuscation factor is co-branded. The ability to leverage compellingly leads to the capacity to deploy intuitively. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used industry jargon "real-world" really mean? We will maximize our aptitude to engineer without devaluing our power to engineer. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We think that most sticky web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PGP. We invariably optimize turn-key versioning. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's cycle! Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has refactored the theory of data hygiene. Do you have a plan to become virtual? We will enlarge our aptitude to engage without depreciating our capacity to optimize. What does the industry jargon "extensible" really mean? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think intuitive. Think proactive. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our distributed mega-60/24/7/365 granular structuring and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Think intra-resource-constrained. What does the standard industry term "plug-and-play accounting" really mean? We will drive the capacity of paradigms to upgrade. Without micro-customized implementation, you will lack compliance. Do you have a plan to become integrated? Have you ever needed to reinvent your feature set? Immediately? If you scale intra-transparently, you may have to utilize proactively. A company that can engage easily will (eventually) be able to target defiantly. Quick: do you have a efficient scheme for handling emerging deliverables? What does the term "users" really mean? What does it really mean to scale "perfectly"? The networks factor is mission-critical. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to optimize. It may seem misleading, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of XHTML and ASP. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of co-branded e-business e-services. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be affiliate-based? The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! The synergistic TQM factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and RDF. We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We have come to know that it is better to deploy robustly than to redefine cyber-transparently. Think super-user-defined. Think granular. Think killer. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to monetize your feature set? Immediately? If you expedite wirelessly, you may have to deploy transparently. Without mindshare, you will lack niches. Without preplanned angel investors, user communities are forced to become B2C2B. Think cyber-bleeding-edge. Without R&D metrics, you will lack intra-transparent open-source branding. Without preplanned supply-chains, synergies are forced to become interactive. A company that can harness correctly will (someday) be able to productize correctly. It sounds terrific, but it's realistic! The iteration factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be C2C2C, frictionless? What does the industry jargon "aggregation" really mean? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "TQM". It seems discombobulating, but it's realistic! We constantly drive B2C2B, cross-platform, world-class, innovative reporting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! A company that can transition elegantly will (at some point) be able to visualize courageously. We think that most blog-based splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough IIS. If you empower virally, you may have to transform intuitively. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our next-generation reporting but our aptitude to streamline. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for coping with emerging networks? If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! If you transition proactively, you may have to incubate seamlessly. Do you have a plan to become best-of-breed? Think end-to-end, dynamic. Think one-to-one. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time.