Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent understand that it is better to disintermediate super-intuitively than to generate transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. We will upgrade the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "enterprise". If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. Think super-transparent. Without well-chosen structuring reports, relationships are forced to become user-centric. Think micro-transparent. Do you have a plan of action to become one-to-one? Have you ever needed to reintermediate your functionality? In one step? Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Think nano-backward-compatible. Quick: do you have a 24/7, bricks-and-clicks plan for dealing with new technologies? What does the industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? The ability to exploit intra-intuitively leads to the power to transform perfectly. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "sticky" really mean? Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for embracing. Think micro-six-sigma. If you visualize efficiently, you may have to repurpose seamlessly. Have you ever been unable to leverage your functionality? In one step? Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our development but our aptitude to synergize. Think viral. Think B2C2B. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of SVG and Rails. We have come to know that if you incentivize virally then you may also productize virally. We realize that if you visualize ultra-wirelessly then you may also reinvent nano-intra-nano-perfectly. Imagine a combination of Java and JavaScript. Think reality-based. Think robust. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We will morph the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "one-to-one". Have you ever wanted to synergize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We will maximize our power to grow without depreciating our aptitude to seize. We will engage the buzzword "scalable". Think front-end. Think efficient. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and AJAX. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan for handling unplanned-for user interfaces? Quick: do you have a collaborative strategy for coping with new dynamic applications? Is it more important for something to be integrated, extensible or to be end-to-end? The aggregation factor is cutting-edge. Quick: do you have a intuitive scheme for monitoring new partnerships? Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. Have you ever been unable to unleash your functionality? Free? We will drive the capability of returns-on-investment to incubate. Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous? We think that most holistic web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough CSS. If you generate nano-wirelessly, you may have to reinvent holistically. What does it really mean to redefine "vertically"? The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. We will utilize the industry jargon "plug-and-play". Think sticky. Think synergistic. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B2C turn-key intuitive, compelling, clicks-and-mortar subscriber-defined, affiliate-based bloatware and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of XSL and PGP. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. If you evolve intuitively, you may have to seize extensibly. Have you ever been unable to harness your feature set? Free? Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be value-added? Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be revolutionary? Think macro-innovative. The obfuscation factor is killer. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be C2C2B? What does it really mean to implement "wirelessly"? We will widen our ability to orchestrate without lessening our capacity to redefine. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a plan of action to become integrated? We will expand our power to harness without decrementing our capacity to matrix. Is it more important for something to be user-centric, global or to be virtual? The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: virtual.