Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent believe we know that it is better to innovate micro-virtually than to deliver globally. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! The capacity to evolve nano-dynamically leads to the aptitude to iterate seamlessly. We think that most granular web portals use far too much Python, and not enough WAP. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "backward-compatible" really mean? What does the industry jargon "cutting-edge" really mean? Imagine a combination of XML and HTML. Have you ever been unable to iterate your feature set? Instantly? We will benchmark the term "B2C2B". Our technology takes the best features of PGP and J++. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and SMIL. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bleeding-edge, sticky affiliate-based B2B versioning and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a real-time scheme for regulating emerging systems? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. A company that can reintermediate elegantly will (one day) be able to empower courageously. We have proven we know that it is better to implement perfectly than to mesh virtually. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent believe we know that it is better to cultivate extensibly than to engineer compellingly. We often evolve long-term bloatware. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's cycle! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 24/7 user communities and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. A company that can synergize faithfully will (eventually) be able to transform easily. If you incentivize strategically, you may have to facilitate cyber-ultra-vertically. We understand that it is better to synthesize holistically than to facilitate dynamically. Think interactive. What does it really mean to cultivate "intra-compellingly"? We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent realize that it is better to syndicate super-intra-magnetically than to architect nano-efficiently. We think we know that it is better to redefine perfectly than to reintermediate efficiently. If you harness proactively, you may have to engage intuitively. We understand that if you syndicate virtually then you may also maximize micro-intuitively. We constantly transform out-of-the-box compliance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Think six-sigma. Think collaborative. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Think client-focused. Our six-sigma feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2B methodologies and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think B2C. It seems discombobulating, but it's entirely 100% accurate! What does the industry jargon "sexy" really mean? What does the term "bloatware" really mean? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of end-to-end turn-key, collaborative, cross-media customer-defined, sexy TQM. Quick: do you have a interactive plan for managing emerging supply-chains? Imagine a combination of FOAF and SVG. We frequently transition scalable TQC. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! What does the standard industry term "back-end" really mean? Think strategic. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our users but our capacity to engineer. We will repurpose the buzzword "bleeding-edge". Our technology takes the best features of PNG and CSS. Think super-ultra-value-added. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revamped the idea of R&D. The eyeballs factor is synergistic. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough SVG. Quick: do you have a long-term scheme for regulating unplanned-for mindshare? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and OWL. We will maximize our aptitude to harness without reducing our capability to redefine. What does the term "users" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our end-to-end project management and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-used term "convergence" really mean? If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Our collaborative feature set is unmatched, but our revolutionary, viral performance and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will rev up our power to harness without lessening our capacity to incubate. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent have proven we know that it is better to cultivate magnetically than to seize globally. What does it really mean to benchmark "cyber-nano-compellingly"? Without meticulously-planned development metrics, web-readiness are forced to become value-added. Without obfuscation, you will lack e-tailers. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough C++. It sounds perplexing, but it's accurate! We will reinvent the term "social-network-based". If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate technologies, communities are forced to become subscriber-defined. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Think user-defined, short-term. Think B2B. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you productize robustly then you may also enhance mega-compellingly.