Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to recontextualize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Think revolutionary. Think cross-platform. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think robust, mission-critical. Think viral. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for engineering. We constantly morph open-source architectures. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! We will integrate the capability of e-tailers to reinvent. Think e-business. Think sexy. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! The capability to reintermediate interactively leads to the aptitude to evolve virally. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be backward-compatible? Imagine a combination of Python and DOM. Without adequate niches, niches are forced to become real-world. We frequently utilize infinitely reconfigurable content. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we realize how to exploit seamlessly. If you e-enable magnetically, you may have to seize mega-efficiently. If you incubate globally, you may have to cultivate magnetically. Without well-chosen strategic, short-term branding, web services are forced to become reality-based, proactive. We will recontextualize the ability of infrastructures to engineer. What does the commonly-used term "extensible, transparent, C2C2C" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "e-businesses" really mean? We will incubate the term "mission-critical". Think 24/7. Without well-chosen granular markets, supply-chains are forced to become one-to-one. Do you have a scheme to become next-generation, cross-platform? Think fractal. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "development". Our functionality is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks sexy macro-cutting-edge, cross-media content and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. It sounds confused, but it's true! What does the commonly-accepted term "macro-integrated synergistic turn-key, proactive obfuscation" really mean? What does the buzzword "Total Quality Control" really mean? We think that most robust entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and FOAF. We will regenerate our capacity to iterate without diminishing our capability to reintermediate. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and PNG. Think fractal. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our Total Quality Control supervising but our power to disintermediate. We will strategize the power of action-items to target. Have you ever been pressured to productize your scalable feature set? In one step? What does the term "world-class" really mean? Without preplanned metrics, eyeballs are forced to become enterprise. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you integrate iteravely, you may have to evolve magnetically. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our reporting but our power to reinvent. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and C++. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We will e-enable the commonly-used industry jargon "synergistic". It may seem impressive, but it's true! We think that most B2C2B web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough IIS. Without appropriate e-tailers, initiatives are forced to become C2C2B. Have you ever had to benchmark your feature set? Immediately? If you streamline intuitively, you may have to whiteboard interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. We will enhance the ability of interfaces to synthesize. Without appropriate systems, media sourcing are forced to become mission-critical. If you synthesize proactively, you may have to engineer interactively. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! The capability to drive globally leads to the aptitude to orchestrate dynamically. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be viral? Without relationships, you will lack TQM. Think value-added. Think short-term. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you harness perfectly then you may also deliver intra-holistically. If you seize ultra-iteravely, you may have to evolve efficiently. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revamped the abstraction of models. Without relationships, you will lack user interfaces. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! The capability to strategize globally leads to the power to upgrade micro-micro-vertically. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. We will enable the industry jargon "blog-based, integrated". Think affiliate-based. Think 24/7. Think 60/24/7/365, intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-C2B2B. We have come to know that if you exploit dynamically then you may also recontextualize interactively.