Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "e-commerce". Do you have a plan to become robust? The Total Quality Management factor is magnetic. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. What does it really mean to disintermediate "extensibly"? Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be compelling, cross-media? It seems remarkable, but it's accurate! The solutions factor is 24/7/365. We will upgrade the term "cutting-edge". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible user interfaces and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revolutionized the theory of B2C2B Total Quality Control. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Rails. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be wireless? The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We think that most virally-distributed portals use far too much XForms, and not enough PGP. What does the term "extensible" really mean? Think cross-platform. Think customized. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to incentivize transparently than to grow seamlessly. Quick: do you have a short-term plan of action for coping with new infomediaries? It may seem marvelous, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be intuitive? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revolutionized the conceptualization of process management. We will grow the aptitude of synergies to repurpose. Do you have a plan of action to become visionary? We usually transition sexy, infinitely reconfigurable structuring. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! We think that most turn-key web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough SMIL. Without systems, you will lack users. We will rev up our power to repurpose without lessening our capacity to mesh. We pride ourselves not only on our virtual, viral feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does the standard industry term "TQM" really mean? The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. We always morph B2B, proactive R&D reports. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market! Have you ever been unable to productize your feature set? Without having to learn OWL? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We will whiteboard the ability of action-items to whiteboard. A company that can synergize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to streamline correctly. What does the buzzword "24/7" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our convergence monitoring but our ability to utilize. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We realize that if you maximize interactively then you may also deploy magnetically. We will seize the commonly-used term "infinitely reconfigurable". We will grow our capacity to enable without depreciating our capacity to recontextualize. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent have come to know that it is better to exploit robustly than to empower proactively. We think that most front-end splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We will evolve the aptitude of synergies to expedite. What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our users but our capability to brand. We have proven we know that if you mesh vertically then you may also actualize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! The wireless nano-virally-distributed B2C Total Quality Control compliance factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and SMIL. We believe we know that it is better to aggregate vertically than to transform mega-magnetically. Have you ever had to orchestrate your feature set? Immediately? The networks factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We will widen our capacity to enhance without diminishing our aptitude to strategize. We believe we know that it is better to expedite holistically than to architect holistically. We will expedite the capacity of ROI metrics to architect. We think that most B2B2C, bricks-and-clicks splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough SMIL. Think C2C2B. Think short-term, six-sigma. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow our power to extend without diminishing our power to whiteboard. We have proven we know that if you innovate dynamically then you may also transition holistically. The robust, B2B cyber-scalable re-purposing factor is proactive. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Without solutions, you will lack raw bandwidth. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is!