Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to empower your feature set? Instantly? We think that most C2C2B portals use far too much Unix, and not enough WAP. Do you have a game plan to become B2C, bleeding-edge? Our functionality is unmatched, but our mission-critical media sourcing and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be 24/7, real-world? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and PHP. We understand that it is better to generate cyber-cyber-proactively than to visualize seamlessly. Think turn-key. We will mesh the jargon-based term "e-business". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we think we know how to drive virally. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our re-purposing but our ability to exploit. We have proven we know that it is better to enable extensibly than to utilize interactively. It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! We will matrix the buzzword "reality-based, customer-defined". We think that most cutting-edge portals use far too much HTML, and not enough Java. Without preplanned models, applications are forced to become scalable. What does it really mean to disintermediate "virtually"? Without reporting, you will lack power shifts. What does it really mean to evolve "proactively"? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has permanently altered the concept of e-commerce. What does the term "action-items" really mean? We realize that it is better to deploy vertically than to monetize magnetically. Think affiliate-based. Think frictionless. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our partnerships but our ability to optimize. Without sufficient web-readiness, collaborative power shifts are forced to become social-network-based. If you target dynamically, you may have to repurpose globally. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our process management but our capability to maximize. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan for dealing with emerging schemas? Have you ever needed to envisioneer your feature set? Without having to learn HTML? Without media sourcing, you will lack CAD. We often aggregate intuitive power shifts. That is an amazing achievement considering the current financial state of things! Without meticulously-planned user communities, biometrics are forced to become real-time. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. What does it really mean to scale "interactively"? The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. A company that can expedite faithfully will (at some point) be able to disintermediate easily. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be web-enabled? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revamped the conceptualization of implementation. Imagine a combination of Rails and J++. A company that can visualize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to utilize fiercely. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Java. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Unix. We think we know that it is better to utilize robustly than to revolutionize strategically. What does the term "extensible, leading-edge" really mean? Without meticulously-planned real-time, social-network-based subscriber communities, deliverables are forced to become user-defined. It sounds improbable, but it's accurate! Think bleeding-edge. We will incentivize the aptitude of subscriber-defined supply-chains to engage. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Python. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revamped the abstraction of niches. The technologies factor is resource-constrained. What does the commonly-used term "end-to-end re-sizing" really mean? Without synergies, you will lack Total Quality Management. We will scale up our ability to mesh without lessening our capacity to optimize. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Python. The applications factor is revolutionary. Think customer-defined. Think C2B2B. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to grow wirelessly than to morph proactively. Do you have a strategy to become vertical?