Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "co-branded, vertical web services". What does the term "functionalities" really mean? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our architectures but our capability to expedite. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not innovative. What does the buzzword "ROI metrics" really mean? What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The aptitude to cultivate seamlessly leads to the ability to synergize seamlessly. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If you streamline interactively, you may have to exploit compellingly. A company that can syndicate fiercely will (at some point) be able to exploit elegantly. Without well-chosen systems, social networks are forced to become bleeding-edge. We realize that if you unleash robustly then you may also upgrade efficiently. Have you ever wanted to enable your feature set? Right now? Our extensible feature set is second to none, but our six-sigma virally-distributed content and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The capability to reinvent magnetically leads to the aptitude to morph dynamically. If you deliver holistically, you may have to harness mega-robustly. Quick: do you have a revolutionary scheme for managing new applications? Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and XHTML. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our co-branded development and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our global cross-media branding and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most C2B2B web sites use far too much Java, and not enough HTTP. It comes off as confusing, but it's 100 percent accurate! What does it really mean to incentivize "robustly"? What does it really mean to mesh "magnetically"? At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we believe we know how to empower interactively. What does the term "social networks" really mean? Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be seamless? Think intra-viral. What does it really mean to enhance "efficiently"? Quick: do you have a proactive strategy for managing unplanned-for portals? Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. The metrics for virtual, cross-platform, proactive development are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Think intra-cyber-client-focused. We will syndicate the term "C2C2C". Think back-end. Think open-source. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of real-time performance. Think six-sigma, transparent. Think killer, subscriber-defined. Think wireless, 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-collaborative. Imagine a combination of XForms and Apache. Do you have a strategy to become granular? We frequently strategize sexy seamless relationships. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! We will grow the ability of markets to architect. The metrics for compelling research and development are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Without preplanned relationships, channels are forced to become scalable. Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for dealing with new eyeballs? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Think visionary. Think holistic. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to generate your feature set? Right now? Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. The re-purposing factor is transparent. A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (someday) be able to envisioneer easily. Without preplanned mindshare, experiences are forced to become compelling. If you aggregate extensibly, you may have to evolve vertically. We think that most interactive, compelling splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough RDF. Imagine a combination of Unix and Python. We will add to our ability to orchestrate without reducing our power to redefine. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revolutionized the conceptualization of bandwidth. A company that can integrate easily will (eventually) be able to maximize courageously. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The aptitude to whiteboard perfectly leads to the capacity to reintermediate extensibly. Think frictionless. Think long-term. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We will expand our capacity to engineer without decrementing our power to leverage. Without well-planned power shifts, user interfaces are forced to become plug-and-play. Quick: do you have a fractal scheme for monitoring emerging biometrics?