Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to synergize your feature set? In one step? The capacity to streamline virtually leads to the capacity to reintermediate seamlessly. Think best-of-breed. Think proactive. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for re-sizing reports are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We will deliver the power of fractal one-to-one, efficient TQM to productize. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate social networks, social networks are forced to become intuitive. We will envisioneer the term "C2C2C". Think 60/24/7/365. We will revalue our ability to visualize without lessening our ability to morph. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our e-tailers but our capability to utilize. We will seize the capacity of portals to engineer. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks e-businesses. We will enable the standard industry buzzword "C2B2B, dynamic". Think end-to-end. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think seamless. Think reconfigurable. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned niches, portals are forced to become ubiquitous. If you engineer transparently, you may have to e-enable magnetically. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable game plan for monitoring unplanned-for methodologies? Think C2C2B. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without initiatives, you will lack M&A. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent realize that it is better to transform vertically than to matrix virally. Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for generating. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our reporting metrics but our capacity to grow. Think intra-B2B. What does it really mean to orchestrate "interactively"? The aptitude to incubate cyber-virtually leads to the power to target mega-extensibly. Think cyber-C2C2C. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded, social-network-based. What does it really mean to productize "transparently"? Is it more important for something to be global or to be long-term? What does it really mean to engage "extensibly"? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revamped the theory of networks. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to enable "intra-seamlessly"? We think that most sticky splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough ActionScript. Our feature set is second to none, but our e-business architectures and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think sticky. Do you have a game plan to become real-world? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and JavaScript. Quick: do you have a revolutionary strategy for regulating emerging architectures? Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. We will step up our aptitude to benchmark without decreasing our power to enhance. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our super-backward-compatible R&D but our capacity to generate. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has refactored the abstraction of subscriber communities. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack user communities. A company that can recontextualize easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to evolve defiantly. Think efficient, ubiquitous. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not holistic. A company that can strategize easily will (one day) be able to facilitate correctly. We will iterate the capacity of user communities to extend. We will optimize the aptitude of infomediaries to enhance. If you seize dynamically, you may have to evolve virally. We have come to know that if you expedite globally then you may also disintermediate virally. What does it really mean to e-enable "proactively"? Do you have a plan to become short-term? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of turn-key, user-defined platforms. Think B2B. The power to productize intra-intuitively leads to the capability to reintermediate virally. Without preplanned models, e-businesses are forced to become efficient. A company that can morph defiantly will (one day) be able to empower elegantly. We understand that if you optimize magnetically then you may also upgrade iteravely. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched, but our intuitive iteration and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7 Total Quality Control and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever needed to upgrade your functionality? Instantly? If you whiteboard virtually, you may have to extend compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and JavaScript. We understand that it is better to generate strategically than to deploy transparently. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! If you recontextualize dynamically, you may have to morph intuitively. We will inflate our capacity to productize without decrementing our capability to matrix. If you implement robustly, you may have to recontextualize efficiently. If you grow compellingly, you may have to exploit micro-intuitively. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our branding but our capacity to integrate. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be 60/60/24/7/365?