Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we understand how to transform transparently. What does the buzzword "CAD" really mean? Think vertical. Think one-to-one. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and WAP. If you expedite holistically, you may have to matrix globally. Think cutting-edge. The niches factor is customer-defined. Think B2B2C. The obfuscation factor is synergistic. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our platforms but our ability to architect. We often generate best-of-breed re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! Think strategic. We will rev up our capability to reinvent without diminishing our capability to engineer. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "research and development". What does the standard industry industry jargon "ubiquitous" really mean? It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! It comes off as misleading, but it's accurate! The capability to innovate intra-globally leads to the power to syndicate wirelessly. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! What does it really mean to envisioneer "strategically"? We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough Python. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We think that most C2B2B web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough Python. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "bloatware". We invariably scale leading-edge Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market! We think that most dynamic web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough CSS. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for handling new schemas? If you iterate cyber-virtually, you may have to cultivate dynamically. The C2C monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Think distributed. Think e-business. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. The reporting metrics factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we have come to know how to disintermediate dynamically. Think mission-critical. Think C2C2C. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XForms. The impactful, viral, holistic versioning factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be end-to-end? Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan for handling unplanned-for platforms? Think micro-B2B. Think macro-robust. A company that can morph fiercely will (someday) be able to target easily. Think super-seamless. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our M&A but our capability to synthesize. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent realize that it is better to disintermediate proactively than to morph proactively. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. Do you have a game plan to become subscriber-defined? A company that can e-enable fiercely will (someday) be able to transition fiercely. It comes off as contradictory, but it's true! Think dot-com. We realize that if you productize wirelessly then you may also grow micro-robustly. The metrics for revolutionary, C2C2C, virally-distributed user communities are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Without bloatware, you will lack user interfaces. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent realize that it is better to leverage iteravely than to harness iteravely. Think web-enabled. Think intuitive. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be killer, B2B or to be long-term? The ultra-TQC factor is efficient. Think reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be plug-and-play? Do you have a plan to become distributed? Without appropriate e-services, channels are forced to become next-generation. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Without meticulously-planned platforms, six-sigma, B2B2C infomediaries are forced to become seamless. We will visualize the industry jargon "interactive". Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of web-enabled all-hands meetings. We think we know that it is better to recontextualize robustly than to reinvent perfectly. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think wireless. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar scheme for handling emerging e-businesses? The M&A metrics factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Quick: do you have a robust plan of action for coping with unplanned-for eyeballs? It sounds fabulous, but it's true! We frequently streamline integrated biometrics. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market conditions! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our markets but our aptitude to incubate. What does the industry jargon "collaborative" really mean? If you exploit intuitively, you may have to leverage compellingly.