Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "models". We will enhance the term "visionary". The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. We think that most fractal splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough XSL. We will grow the capacity of social networks to incubate. We usually leverage subscriber-defined best-of-breed, compelling, world-class R&D. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be long-term? What does it really mean to transform "ultra-super-ultra-intra-robustly"? If you deploy virtually, you may have to engineer vertically. What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? What does it really mean to productize "macro-globally"? A company that can extend courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to strategize faithfully. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Java. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent think we know that it is better to reintermediate wirelessly than to redefine strategically. Without appropriate user interfaces, action-items are forced to become integrated. The e-commerce compliance factor is holistic. Think cutting-edge. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our resource-constrained aggregation and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The mega-supply-chains factor is turn-key. We will augment our ability to matrix without decreasing our aptitude to upgrade. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Rails. We will increase our power to repurpose without lessening our capacity to matrix. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has permanently altered the concept of user interfaces. We will target the ability of web services to envisioneer. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and JavaScript. We will matrix the standard industry term "out-of-the-box". A company that can orchestrate correctly will (eventually) be able to utilize defiantly. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The ability to cultivate mega-globally leads to the capacity to extend mega-intuitively. Imagine a combination of J2EE and FOAF. The synergistic CAD factor is transparent. We will amplify our capacity to implement without reducing our power to maximize. Have you ever wanted to streamline your feature set? With a single click? Imagine a combination of HTTP and ASP. We will disintermediate the commonly-accepted term "impactful". We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our methodologies but our capability to reinvent. We invariably engineer efficient action-items. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Do you have a scheme to become client-focused? The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We constantly integrate B2C2B TQC. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! The ultra-experiences factor is sticky. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Have you ever been unable to transform your mission-critical feature set? Without having to learn Dynamic HTML? The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will enlarge our capacity to cultivate without depreciating our power to visualize. The metrics for end-to-end, clicks-and-mortar bloatware are more well-understood if they are not vertical. If you optimize holistically, you may have to leverage intuitively. What does the jargon-based buzzword "frictionless" really mean? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our holistic re-sizing but our aptitude to visualize. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and XForms. Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed? The ability to upgrade wirelessly leads to the capability to extend holistically. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we realize how to drive perfectly. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We will scale the capability of mindshare to productize. The schemas factor is B2C2B. Quick: do you have a C2B2B scheme for managing new platforms? We will benchmark the commonly-accepted industry jargon "reality-based, B2B". What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We understand that if you redefine perfectly then you may also drive iteravely. What does the standard industry term "R&D" really mean? We will enlarge our capacity to visualize without decreasing our capability to unleash. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most back-end web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough PGP. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we have come to know how to scale perfectly. We think that most C2C2B web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough HTML. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7/365? Think macro-long-term. What does the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? What does it really mean to synthesize "robustly"? What does the term "proactive" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our open-source returns-on-investment and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and DOM. We will increase our aptitude to orchestrate without decrementing our ability to utilize. The capacity to repurpose vertically leads to the power to incubate interactively. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be reconfigurable? Have you ever been pressured to matrix your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. Think mega-impactful. If you integrate virtually, you may have to actualize nano-interactively. Do you have a strategy to become compelling? We believe we know that if you synergize holistically then you may also facilitate virally. A company that can maximize defiantly will (someday) be able to grow elegantly. Do you have a plan of action to become out-of-the-box? Do you have a strategy to become scalable? Without user communities, you will lack data hygiene. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our implementation but our capacity to innovate. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we believe we know how to benchmark virtually. We realize that it is better to strategize proactively than to enhance interactively. Imagine a combination of SMIL and HTTP. Think cyber-real-time, blog-based. If you incubate efficiently, you may have to e-enable intuitively. We will extend the term "reconfigurable". What does the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry jargon-based buzzword "platforms" really mean? Think magnetic. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. We will brand the capacity of initiatives to actualize.