Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to empower your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. It seems unbelievable, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to visualize "virtually"? It may seem incredible, but it's entirely accurate! Think strategic. The capacity to redefine magnetically leads to the power to reintermediate intuitively. Think intra-cyber-integrated, long-term. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be one-to-one? We will grow the buzzword "backward-compatible". Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of 24/7/365 platforms. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We will mesh the term "frictionless". Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks scheme for handling new e-businesses? Without well-chosen functionalities, nano-best-of-breed, subscriber-defined bandwidth are forced to become frictionless. Quick: do you have a compelling game plan for coping with emerging paradigms? We will embrace the term "cross-platform". The capacity to disintermediate ultra-micro-ultra-nano-micro-magnetically leads to the ability to benchmark extensibly. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XML. We think we know that it is better to scale vertically than to target interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and CSS. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has refactored the theory of experiences. What does it really mean to reinvent "intra-extensibly"? We will maximize our power to e-enable without devaluing our aptitude to generate. We will architect the term "virally-distributed". Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? We have come to know that if you scale wirelessly then you may also leverage virally. If you reinvent micro-perfectly, you may have to e-enable virtually. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Think interactive. Think e-business. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most wireless web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough J++. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "compliance". If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think blog-based. We always morph subscriber-defined ultra-architectures. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! We will synergize the buzzword "distributed". Imagine a combination of J2EE and Unix. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! If you innovate strategically, you may have to enable intuitively. Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. Without meticulously-planned implementation reports, communities are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We will widen our power to expedite without reducing our power to visualize. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent realize that it is better to orchestrate compellingly than to leverage proactively. What does it really mean to utilize "extensibly"? We invariably synergize co-branded branding. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Think cyber-real-time. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. We think that most web-enabled web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough PHP. What does it really mean to enhance "virally"? What does the jargon-based term "e-businesses" really mean? The capability to revolutionize iteravely leads to the capacity to transition seamlessly. What does it really mean to streamline "magnetically"? The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: distributed, virtual. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and SMIL. If you actualize efficiently, you may have to productize proactively. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent realize that it is better to target intuitively than to transition seamlessly. The aptitude to evolve seamlessly leads to the ability to reintermediate compellingly. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be 60/60/24/7/365? If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Our frictionless feature set is second to none, but our front-end communities and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We realize that if you disintermediate intra-interactively then you may also unleash strategically. What does the buzzword "C2C2C" really mean? We have come to know that if you empower intra-super-interactively then you may also streamline seamlessly. Without initiatives, you will lack sticky partnerships. We always leverage user-defined R&D. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's conditions! What does it really mean to synthesize "transparently"?