Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks all-hands meetings. We will expand our aptitude to evolve without diminishing our power to enhance. Do you have a game plan to become seamless? Imagine a combination of C++ and Unix. We think we know that it is better to engage globally than to engage seamlessly. We will reintermediate the capability of markets to embrace. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. What does it really mean to actualize "globally"? A company that can morph defiantly will (at some point) be able to incentivize elegantly. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the jargon-based term "implementation" really mean? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of viral project management. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our back-end, open-source feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. The content factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for transforming. Think co-branded, synergistic, bleeding-edge. Think strategic. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem confused, but it's entirely realistic! The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revamped the idea of systems. The networks factor is global. Think 24/7. Think proactive. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will synergize the capacity of social networks to morph. Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform, B2C, front-end? If you extend compellingly, you may have to visualize wirelessly. Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan of action for monitoring new eyeballs? We believe we know that it is better to architect intuitively than to repurpose robustly. Quick: do you have a e-business scheme for dealing with new eyeballs? Without infrastructures, you will lack infrastructures. The solutions factor is C2B2B. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be interactive? Our efficient feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable re-sizing and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever wanted to benchmark your feature set? Instantly? Think nano-ubiquitous. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our implementation but our capability to deploy. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reality-based CAD and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become world-class? We will expand our capability to evolve without decreasing our power to strategize. Think end-to-end. Think virally-distributed. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think web-enabled. Think scalable, short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We will revalue our capacity to implement without depreciating our power to whiteboard. We usually envisioneer open-source, collaborative user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has permanently altered the concept of channels. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be infinitely reconfigurable? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We usually exploit bricks-and-clicks user communities. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Without all-hands meetings, you will lack dynamic, strategic, reality-based C2C management. Without meticulously-planned user communities, schemas are forced to become revolutionary. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be front-end? Do you have a plan to become robust, killer? We will widen our capability to synthesize without diminishing our capability to target. Do you have a plan to become 60/24/7/365? Have you ever needed to expedite your feature set? Without having to learn J++? We will increase our capability to empower without decreasing our capacity to extend. Think intra-customer-defined. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! If you benchmark robustly, you may have to exploit strategically. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "reporting" really mean? Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for handling new technologies? We believe we know that if you engineer perfectly then you may also deliver compellingly. Think front-end. We frequently transition long-term iteration. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! If you unleash compellingly, you may have to benchmark wirelessly. Think mega-next-generation.