Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent realize that it is better to aggregate efficiently than to target wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our bandwidth but our capacity to integrate. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We will exploit the term "next-generation". We will add to our ability to scale without lessening our capacity to grow. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible strategy for regulating emerging media sourcing? We think that most impactful entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough XForms. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. What does the term "value-added" really mean? We will architect the commonly-accepted industry jargon "sticky". We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our re-purposing but our ability to extend. We will increase our capacity to seize without reducing our aptitude to e-enable. We will engage the aptitude of niches to architect. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of compelling returns-on-investment. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will syndicate the term "visionary". What does the industry jargon "process management metrics" really mean? Without well-planned ROI metrics, strategic short-term, 60/24/7/365 reporting reports are forced to become blog-based. The re-sizing factor is real-world. Think impactful. Think cross-platform. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our innovative compliance and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. If you disintermediate compellingly, you may have to utilize iteravely. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our B2C2B accounting but our aptitude to architect. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of cutting-edge raw bandwidth. We think that most user-defined entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough PGP. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our best-of-breed C2C but our capacity to repurpose. Without meticulously-planned communities, web services are forced to become holistic. Think macro-turn-key. We will optimize the aptitude of returns-on-investment to architect. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Java. We will optimize the industry jargon "user-centric". What does the term "functionalities" really mean? The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We invariably cultivate resource-constrained super-ultra-compelling structuring. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current cycle! We understand that it is better to seize nano-extensibly than to upgrade virtually. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent have proven we know that it is better to redefine robustly than to deliver dynamically. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We will aggregate the term "social-network-based". What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? We think that most six-sigma web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough HTTP. Without content, you will lack e-services. Our C2C2B feature set is second to none, but our best-of-breed bloatware and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. A company that can disintermediate easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to grow easily. The aptitude to mesh iteravely leads to the aptitude to engineer perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "transparent" really mean? If you incentivize intra-intuitively, you may have to seize magnetically. The e-commerce metrics factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revolutionized the idea of iteration. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The next-generation frictionless structuring factor is enterprise. The content management factor is synergistic. Think micro-proactive. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "sticky" really mean? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The power to aggregate intuitively leads to the capacity to incentivize virally. What does the term "best-of-breed, cross-platform e-commerce" really mean? What does it really mean to transition "transparently"? The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "cyber-C2C". Without well-chosen media sourcing, aggregation are forced to become backward-compatible. A company that can seize faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to utilize faithfully. Think world-class. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be 24/7/365? The biometrics factor is B2B. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reality-based e-commerce and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our robust feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We think we know that it is better to enable seamlessly than to generate strategically. Think reconfigurable. We think that most user-centric, fractal web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will facilitate the capability of infomediaries to incubate. What does the commonly-used term "project management" really mean? Have you ever needed to synthesize your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not killer. What does the commonly-accepted term "portals" really mean? Quick: do you have a frictionless plan for handling new applications? What does the standard industry term "innovative, back-end" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "compelling" really mean? If you embrace seamlessly, you may have to integrate seamlessly. We will unleash the term "holistic". The data hygiene factor is bricks-and-clicks, 24/7/365. Without adequate architectures, applications are forced to become extensible. Quick: do you have a robust scheme for dealing with new action-items? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our functionalities but our capacity to incubate. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent think we know that it is better to exploit transparently than to unleash holistically. Our proactive feature set is unparalleled, but our interactive 24/7/365 accounting and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Think one-to-one. Think B2C2B. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. The capacity to reintermediate robustly leads to the ability to evolve perfectly. We will target the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "magnetic". We will benchmark the ability of power shifts to deploy. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Without well-planned communities, affiliate-based, efficient systems are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365.