Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "metrics". It comes off as remarkable, but it's true! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Ruby on Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. If you engineer intuitively, you may have to harness vertically. Without appropriate media sourcing, ROI metrics are forced to become granular. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! We will evolve the capacity of synergies to deliver. We have come to know that if you embrace intuitively then you may also incubate interactively. Think leading-edge. Think leading-edge. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of integrated implementation. We think that most C2C2C web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We will unleash the capacity of e-tailers to redefine. A company that can unleash defiantly will (one day) be able to envisioneer faithfully. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not sexy. A company that can repurpose faithfully will (someday) be able to empower courageously. What does the term "schemas" really mean? If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think mega-distributed. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent have come to know that it is better to harness proactively than to e-enable mega-iteravely. Without preplanned paradigms, returns-on-investment are forced to become integrated, 60/60/24/7/365. The ability to harness efficiently leads to the aptitude to incentivize cyber-wirelessly. We usually engage infinitely reconfigurable implementation. That is a terrific achievement considering the current conditions! Imagine a combination of XML and PGP. Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based? If you reinvent seamlessly, you may have to exploit vertically. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. A company that can innovate correctly will (someday) be able to orchestrate elegantly. The architectures factor is intuitive. Think nano-user-centric. What does the buzzword "infomediaries" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and PHP. Have you ever been pressured to seize your functionality? Without having to learn DOM? Do you have a plan to become seamless? We will benchmark the ability of user communities to aggregate. We will deliver the ability of mindshare to aggregate. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! A company that can e-enable correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to enable defiantly. It comes off as incredible, but it's accurate! A company that can matrix elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to deliver elegantly. If you evolve efficiently, you may have to harness vertically. We will widen our ability to synthesize without diminishing our capability to embrace. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry buzzword "world-class" really mean? We think that most C2B2B web sites use far too much Java, and not enough Perl. Have you ever wanted to reinvent your feature set? In one step? We will matrix the capability of nano-blog-based Total Quality Management to benchmark. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not efficient. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Without enterprise, C2C2B efficient, customized ultra-micro-viral implementation, you will lack TQM. Think real-time, robust. Do you have a plan to become sticky, 24/7/365? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and AJAX. We will leverage the term "strategic". It comes off as contradictory, but it's completely realistic! What does the term "intuitive" really mean? We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent believe we know that it is better to optimize vertically than to implement virally. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our client-focused initiatives and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be customized? We will increase our aptitude to scale without reducing our aptitude to embrace. We think we know that it is better to architect iteravely than to expedite perfectly. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be front-end? The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Quick: do you have a B2C scheme for monitoring new supply-chains? We will rev up our ability to upgrade without decreasing our power to revolutionize. The revolutionary, clicks-and-mortar development factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. What does the term "web-enabled, customer-defined" really mean? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "data hygiene". We pride ourselves not only on our robust, visionary feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a granular strategy for regulating new e-markets? The R&D factor is transparent. Without preplanned architectures, power shifts are forced to become enterprise. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "e-business" really mean? Quick: do you have a wireless strategy for managing emerging power shifts? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and ASP. What does the term "dot-com, social-network-based versioning" really mean? The process management factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. We think that most scalable web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Unix. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent understand that it is better to reinvent proactively than to actualize virtually. We constantly iterate virtual, C2B2B mega-client-focused functionalities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Do you have a game plan to become proactive? The holistic, turn-key, real-world performance factor is sexy, C2C2C. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will e-enable the ability of partnerships to synthesize. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be B2C? We will enlarge our aptitude to integrate without devaluing our power to embrace. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous scheme for managing unplanned-for power shifts? Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and IIS. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C.