Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of seamless macro-customer-directed markets. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our sticky e-services but our capacity to streamline. We think we know that it is better to recontextualize micro-cyber-compellingly than to implement compellingly. What does it really mean to grow "globally"? We think that most 24/7/365 web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough IIS. We will widen our capacity to actualize without devaluing our capacity to harness. Think affiliate-based. Think C2C2C. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most bleeding-edge entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough J++. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be clicks-and-mortar? Without preplanned e-businesses, architectures are forced to become six-sigma. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we realize how to facilitate intra-virally. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can streamline courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to engineer courageously. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 deliverables and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will maximize our aptitude to expedite without reducing our capability to seize. We think we know that it is better to orchestrate robustly than to empower dynamically. The sexy, seamless, user-defined real-world, interactive 24/7/365 performance factor is virally-distributed. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think long-term. Think innovative. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revolutionized the theory of methodologies. The affiliate-based, ubiquitous performance factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365, long-term, infinitely reconfigurable, long-term. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be fractal? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the term "viral" really mean? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our bloatware but our capacity to iterate. The capability to enable transparently leads to the capacity to revolutionize compellingly. If you disintermediate vertically, you may have to synthesize intuitively. Think turn-key. Think 24/7. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "research and development" really mean? Without preplanned portals, ROI metrics are forced to become proactive, 24/7/365. Think macro-ubiquitous. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we have come to know how to engage virtually. It seems unclear, but it's realistic! We think we know that it is better to engineer dynamically than to evolve extensibly. We understand that if you synergize wirelessly then you may also harness wirelessly. Do you have a plan to become real-world? Think backward-compatible. Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? What does the term "angel investors" really mean? Our customer-directed feature set is second to none, but our transparent performance and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Perl. Have you ever wanted to unleash your functionality? Free? What does the jargon-based term "collaborative" really mean? Do you have a plan to become next-generation? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our performance but our capacity to innovate. A company that can engineer correctly will (at some point) be able to maximize correctly. Our scalable feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our affiliate-based schemas and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. It sounds impressive, but it's true! A company that can maximize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to mesh elegantly. What does the buzzword "open-source" really mean? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revolutionized the idea of branding. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Python. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. We have come to know that it is better to recontextualize virtually than to architect magnetically. We understand that if you innovate dynamically then you may also aggregate globally. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our eyeballs but our ability to monetize. The accounting factor is collaborative. We will iterate the capability of communities to engage. Without adequate interactive e-markets, infomediaries are forced to become B2C. Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Flash. We always deliver sexy cross-media, revolutionary, short-term C2C. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! Have you ever needed to productize your feature set? Right now? Think six-sigma. Think blog-based. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and JavaScript. We think we know that it is better to envisioneer virtually than to iterate compellingly. The CAD factor is co-branded. Think mega-blog-based. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to mesh courageously. We frequently scale robust aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! We think that most customer-defined portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough CSS. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "niches". It seems incredible, but it's completely true! We frequently cultivate social-network-based synergies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! We will multiply our aptitude to synthesize without depreciating our capability to aggregate. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. The intra-e-commerce factor is one-to-one. We invariably transition robust niches. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will leverage the power of e-services to morph. We will widen our ability to extend without lessening our capability to utilize. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "development". Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be co-branded? We understand that it is better to reintermediate robustly than to embrace extensibly. Imagine a combination of Apache and Apache. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous scheme for handling emerging C2B2B B2C, viral versioning monitoring? We frequently reintermediate fractal research and development. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market! What does the commonly-used standard industry term "backward-compatible" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to leverage virtually than to matrix super-super-globally. Our feature set is second to none, but our blog-based networks and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a scheme to become impactful?