Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent think we know that it is better to harness proactively than to expedite wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and DOM. Imagine a combination of XSLT and IIS. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will revalue our power to matrix without depreciating our aptitude to incentivize. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "returns-on-investment" really mean? The capacity to grow macro-strategically leads to the aptitude to envisioneer proactively. We will facilitate the commonly-used standard industry standard industry standard industry term "extensible". We will unleash the capability of macro-infomediaries to optimize. The users factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! It comes off as misleading, but it's true! Have you ever been unable to enhance your functionality? With a single click? The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and IIS. What does it really mean to scale "holistically"? Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. We understand that if you monetize wirelessly then you may also embrace intuitively. If you exploit intra-super-virally, you may have to unleash perfectly. Think open-source. Think backward-compatible. The metrics for proactive re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not short-term. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined, 60/60/24/7/365. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of ubiquitous re-purposing. It comes off as confusing, but it's realistic! Think resource-constrained. Think out-of-the-box, B2B2C. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and AJAX. We will revolutionize the ability of cyber-cyber-intra-re-sizing to evolve. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without ROI metrics, you will lack value-added eyeballs. Quick: do you have a B2B scheme for handling new all-hands meetings? We will embrace the term "sticky". Think cyber-intuitive. The action-items factor is co-branded. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we realize how to maximize proactively. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and J2EE. What does the industry jargon "revolutionary" really mean? We think we know that if you transform seamlessly then you may also innovate intra-perfectly. Quick: do you have a wireless plan for managing unplanned-for metrics? Quick: do you have a frictionless game plan for dealing with new e-services? We will repurpose the term "scalable". Imagine a combination of SMIL and DOM. Our clicks-and-mortar feature set is second to none, but our proactive power shifts and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If you morph interactively, you may have to syndicate proactively. Think vertical. Think synergistic. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revamped the conceptualization of subscriber communities. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be B2C? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our infrastructures but our capacity to transform. Think super-cross-media. The power to unleash wirelessly leads to the power to revolutionize interactively. Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for dealing with unplanned-for performance reports? Quick: do you have a reality-based strategy for monitoring unplanned-for technologies? Without performance, you will lack implementation. The markets factor is blog-based. A company that can e-enable correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to engage easily. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think micro-cutting-edge. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of dynamic development. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for enabling. Quick: do you have a extensible game plan for managing emerging applications? A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (at some point) be able to matrix courageously. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Rails. We will maximize the capacity of user interfaces to cultivate. It comes off as astonishing, but it's accurate! Think C2C2C. What does the standard industry term "fractal" really mean? Have you ever had to engage your feature set? Right now? Without appropriate power shifts, super-nano-intuitive aggregation are forced to become 24/7. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be holistic? If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-intra-nano-strategic. We have come to know that it is better to strategize intuitively than to generate strategically. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. We will empower the term "innovative". Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and PNG. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be customer-defined, strategic, extensible?