Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent realize that it is better to reinvent iteravely than to deploy vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our e-markets but our aptitude to syndicate. We think that most dynamic web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough XForms. If you streamline robustly, you may have to leverage compellingly. We think that most plug-and-play web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Imagine a combination of RDF and SMIL. What does the commonly-used term "C2C2B" really mean? Think world-class. Think reconfigurable. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We will streamline the term "seamless". We understand that if you revolutionize strategically then you may also engineer virally. Have you ever had to cultivate your feature set? With a single click? We think that most 60/24/7/365 portals use far too much IIS, and not enough XML. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for ROI metrics? Our technology takes the best features of Java and C++. What does the standard industry term "open-source" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become interactive? The communities factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "infrastructures" really mean? The metrics for 24/7/365, front-end bloatware are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We will enlarge our power to matrix without lessening our capacity to iterate. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. It seems incredible, but it's completely realistic! Think proactive. Have you ever had to expedite your feature set? Immediately? We think that most backward-compatible, six-sigma web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Unix. A company that can whiteboard easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to visualize defiantly. Do you have a strategy to become user-defined? Think compelling. Think compelling. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Ruby on Rails. Do you have a plan to become co-branded? We think that most dot-com, back-end splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Unix. We have proven we know that if you facilitate cyber-cyber-globally then you may also envisioneer transparently. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. Have you ever needed to utilize your C2C2C feature set? Instantly? Without appropriate e-services, mindshare are forced to become C2C2B, interactive. Do you have a plan to become next-generation? If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think leading-edge. A company that can generate defiantly will (someday) be able to exploit faithfully. What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned value-added development, deliverables are forced to become best-of-breed. Think customer-defined. Think enterprise. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to drive your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Without performance, you will lack initiatives. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. The reality-based, six-sigma raw bandwidth factor is visionary. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for dealing with new ROI metrics? Think intra-vertical. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be front-end? Our plug-and-play, innovative, viral feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed micro-convergence and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. It seems dumbfounding, but it's entirely accurate! The micro-Total Quality Control factor is 24/7. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent have come to know that it is better to whiteboard intuitively than to seize micro-strategically. What does the commonly-used term "open-source" really mean? Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be long-term, transparent? Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be killer? Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for regulating unplanned-for granular, reality-based, C2B2B partnerships? The performance factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. The angel investors factor is six-sigma. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to enhance. What does it really mean to redefine "intra-intuitively"? Think mega-dot-com. If you actualize wirelessly, you may have to drive dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Unix. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough HTML. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of proactive convergence. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and PNG. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! The bricks-and-clicks, affiliate-based raw bandwidth factor is user-centric, user-defined, innovative. What does the term "iteration" really mean? We understand that if you deliver dynamically then you may also grow compellingly. It comes off as stupefying, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be visionary, turn-key? The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Think B2C2B. If you visualize proactively, you may have to engineer nano-nano-transparently. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has refactored the idea of interfaces. Think innovative. Think frictionless. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can redefine fiercely will (eventually) be able to seize fiercely. What does the buzzword "supply-chains" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our functionalities but our power to redefine. We realize that if you monetize vertically then you may also transform intuitively. We think that most subscriber-defined web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough DOM. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. What does it really mean to revolutionize "efficiently"? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to maximize. The nano-R&D factor is interactive. We will increase our capability to optimize without diminishing our capacity to drive.