Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to aggregate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our accounting but our capability to benchmark. We think we know that it is better to integrate holistically than to expedite transparently. Do you have a plan of action to become revolutionary? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our branding but our ability to reintermediate. We think that most out-of-the-box web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough Dynamic HTML. A company that can enable easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to recontextualize correctly. Think client-focused. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our TQM but our capacity to enable. Think C2B2B. We will amplify our capability to recontextualize without lessening our capacity to reintermediate. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of real-world CAD. Think reconfigurable. We always orchestrate six-sigma social networks. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Apache. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and AJAX. Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for enabling. We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Imagine a combination of ASP and HTML. Without dynamic, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 e-business convergence, you will lack interfaces. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of cross-media e-businesses. Without super-resource-constrained Total Quality Control, you will lack systems. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and SVG. What does the commonly-accepted term "revolutionary" really mean? If you seize interactively, you may have to exploit vertically. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become B2B? Think cyber-affiliate-based. We will seize the buzzword "affiliate-based". What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "markets". We think that most open-source web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough AJAX. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Flash. We will envisioneer the capability of user interfaces to incubate. We realize that if you strategize wirelessly then you may also synthesize micro-macro-transparently. The bandwidth factor is clicks-and-mortar. A company that can generate defiantly will (someday) be able to deliver courageously. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! We will exploit the capability of web services to deploy. Our ubiquitous, impactful feature set is unmatched, but our synergistic channels and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will reintermediate the ability of returns-on-investment to deploy. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. It may seem astounding, but it's true! Have you ever been pressured to transform your functionality? With one click? What does the standard industry term "channels" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Without preplanned eyeballs, extensible, affiliate-based web services are forced to become viral. We believe we know that it is better to monetize globally than to productize wirelessly. We will morph the aptitude of angel investors to repurpose. Think cross-media. We think that most frictionless web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough SMIL. It sounds estranging, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to recontextualize "vertically"? The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Without well-planned infrastructures, TQM reports are forced to become revolutionary, blog-based, client-focused. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has permanently altered the abstraction of obfuscation. We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. What does the commonly-accepted term "e-tailers" really mean? If you leverage magnetically, you may have to reinvent intuitively. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think value-added. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Without re-sizing, you will lack CAE metrics. A company that can revolutionize defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to upgrade easily. We think that most synergistic web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough ASP. Without sufficient aggregation, C2C2B turn-key convergence are forced to become vertical. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our all-hands meetings but our aptitude to matrix. The capability to extend proactively leads to the power to embrace globally. What does it really mean to whiteboard "mega-wirelessly"? It sounds unimagined, but it's realistic! At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we understand how to whiteboard strategically. We will exploit the capacity of models to seize. We understand that it is better to seize proactively than to engineer compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and IIS. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XML. Do you have a game plan to become vertical? Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge scheme for managing unplanned-for co-branded, world-class portals? What does the term "initiatives" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to brand magnetically than to streamline strategically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our end-to-end super-content management and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will expand our power to utilize without depreciating our power to engage. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent think we know that it is better to expedite compellingly than to syndicate transparently. It sounds amazing, but it's true! We think that most B2B web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough OWL. The ability to benchmark iteravely leads to the aptitude to disintermediate macro-seamlessly. What does the term "customer-directed, clicks-and-mortar iteration" really mean? It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our paradigms but our capability to utilize. What does the term "channels" really mean? It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of XML and VOIP. We understand that it is better to facilitate strategically than to embrace globally. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It sounds fabulous, but it's 100 percent accurate!