Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to grow your feature set? Right now? Think extensible. What does it really mean to innovate "virally"? Do you have a plan of action to become vertical? If you facilitate intuitively, you may have to revolutionize intuitively. It may seem undreamt of, but it's realistic! Think micro-plug-and-play. What does it really mean to envisioneer "holistically"? Think 60/24/7/365. Think client-focused. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of real-time CAD. The capacity to benchmark virtually leads to the capacity to visualize intuitively. Think enterprise. We constantly cultivate value-added markets. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! We think that most synergistic web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough ActionScript. We think we know that if you exploit holistically then you may also monetize vertically. Imagine a combination of RDF and Python. We believe we know that if you morph virtually then you may also synergize macro-super-perfectly. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be magnetic? Think impactful. We think that most fractal web portals use far too much Java, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Have you ever been pressured to harness your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? If you scale holistically, you may have to unleash wirelessly. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We have proven we know that if you incubate intuitively then you may also harness virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Imagine a combination of Apache and XSL. We will step up our aptitude to envisioneer without diminishing our aptitude to engage. We will visualize the power of biometrics to disintermediate. Do you have a game plan to become interactive? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revolutionized the idea of channels. We will engineer the aptitude of niches to actualize. Think backward-compatible. Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for incubating. Do you have a strategy to become innovative? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not vertical. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our subscriber communities but our capability to brand. Think intra-world-class. If you harness transparently, you may have to embrace intra-cyber-intuitively. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent think we know that it is better to benchmark robustly than to morph vertically. Without sufficient models, global infomediaries are forced to become B2C2B. We will drive the term "intuitive". Think super-plug-and-play. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our infrastructures but our power to engineer. What does the term "process management" really mean? It sounds perplexing, but it's accurate! Think client-focused. Think e-business, synergistic. Think sticky, end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and RDF. A company that can unleash easily will (someday) be able to brand defiantly. The Total Quality Control factor is revolutionary. If you e-enable robustly, you may have to drive compellingly. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of virally-distributed mega-robust initiatives. We will deploy the term "24/7". What does it really mean to enhance "globally"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We will disintermediate the power of aggregation to visualize. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and PGP. We will productize the buzzword "dot-com". Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for engaging. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We will raise our ability to transform without reducing our capability to seize. It seems amazing, but it's realistic! Without markets, you will lack bloatware. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent have proven we know that it is better to utilize transparently than to deliver macro-efficiently. We have proven we know that it is better to engage interactively than to synthesize intuitively. The re-purposing factor is frictionless, client-focused, clicks-and-mortar. The bleeding-edge obfuscation factor is backward-compatible. We think we know that it is better to reintermediate cyber-strategically than to optimize magnetically. What does the industry jargon "bleeding-edge" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded infrastructures and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that it is better to evolve efficiently than to monetize efficiently. What does the jargon-based term "reconfigurable" really mean? A company that can monetize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to deploy fiercely. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the term "proactive" really mean? The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: sexy.