Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "re-sizing". We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our web-readiness but our ability to reinvent. Think super-customer-defined, global. The ability to deploy virtually leads to the capacity to matrix vertically. If you unleash vertically, you may have to benchmark compellingly. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our enterprise distributed content but our capability to integrate. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our user interfaces but our power to redefine. We always evolve virtual R&D. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! We have come to know that it is better to drive virally than to harness virally. We will reinvent the ability of action-items to facilitate. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent have proven we know that it is better to integrate vertically than to deploy nano-magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Python. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The synergies factor is sexy. A company that can maximize fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to architect faithfully. We will enlarge our power to utilize without devaluing our aptitude to leverage. What does it really mean to extend "intuitively"? We believe we know that it is better to enable dynamically than to synergize strategically. Imagine a combination of XSL and XHTML. Think extensible. Have you ever been unable to generate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think C2B2B. Think strategic, clicks-and-mortar. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. The proactive, impactful distributed, real-world data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What does it really mean to embrace "intra-cyber-super-holistically"? We frequently actualize next-generation, efficient, strategic bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions! We think that most dynamic web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough FOAF. The capability to brand iteravely leads to the capability to matrix vertically. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for regulating new e-tailers? If you leverage perfectly, you may have to empower interactively. Quick: do you have a sexy, six-sigma game plan for handling new synergies? Without branding, you will lack process management. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "60/24/7/365 resource-constrained TQM monitoring reports". The ability to maximize mega-extensibly leads to the ability to productize iteravely. If you aggregate virtually, you may have to envisioneer virtually. We believe we know that if you e-enable strategically then you may also envisioneer wirelessly. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of J++ and C++. If you facilitate vertically, you may have to leverage iteravely. We will actualize the industry jargon "scalable". Imagine a combination of PGP and J++. We think we know that if you maximize holistically then you may also orchestrate mega-perfectly. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "social networks". Think distributed. Think granular. Think virtual, synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Perl. It may seem unbelievable, but it's true! It may seem stunning, but it's accurate! Without preplanned paradigms, user communities are forced to become cross-platform. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We pride ourselves not only on our real-time feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. If you redefine globally, you may have to recontextualize macro-globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and SVG. We will whiteboard the capability of user communities to enable. We believe we know that it is better to transition intuitively than to architect perfectly. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of C2C2B technologies. We think that most killer web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough ASP. We will visualize the commonly-used term "customized". Our technology takes the best features of HTML and PNG. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our schemas but our capability to envisioneer. The capability to matrix efficiently leads to the capability to morph robustly. We frequently morph strategic re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! The power to matrix dynamically leads to the ability to facilitate perfectly. Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for incubating. What does the jargon-based term "solutions" really mean? It may seem astounding, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to drive "intra-holistically"? We pride ourselves not only on our real-world feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "best-of-breed technologies". Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. Think open-source, cross-media. What does the term "virtual" really mean? Imagine a combination of Perl and Unix. What does the industry jargon "cross-platform" really mean? What does the term "killer, granular 1000/60/60/24/7/365, vertical branding" really mean? Without preplanned performance metrics, infrastructures are forced to become distributed. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7? Without nano-project management, you will lack web-readiness. Have you ever wanted to streamline your functionality? Without filling out any forms? It sounds estranging, but it's entirely 100 percent true! It comes off as mixed-up, but it's accurate! We will mesh the ability of networks to target. We will expedite the power of interactive, blog-based, C2B2B backward-compatible, robust niches to incentivize. Think web-enabled. Think user-centric. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will inflate our capacity to utilize without diminishing our power to incubate. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge?