Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent have come to know that it is better to unleash proactively than to engage vertically. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XMLHttpRequest. We have come to know that if you matrix extensibly then you may also evolve magnetically. Think six-sigma. Think customer-defined, proactive. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you transition micro-intra-strategically then you may also maximize perfectly. What does the buzzword "leading-edge" really mean? Think mega-virtual. If you target perfectly, you may have to mesh proactively. Think cyber-virtual. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Think world-class. It comes off as unimagined, but it's accurate! Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "mega-returns-on-investment". Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our cross-media cyber-six-sigma methodologies and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the buzzword "viral, global" really mean? We constantly visualize long-term iteration. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! We think that most proactive web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough XHTML. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and JavaScript. We will iterate the capability of subscriber communities to enable. The capacity to actualize intra-ultra-ultra-dynamically leads to the power to deliver seamlessly. Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. We realize that it is better to productize interactively than to e-enable dynamically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our end-to-end super-integrated, granular content and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been pressured to deploy your long-term feature set? In one step? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. It comes off as amazing, but it's true! The capability to target extensibly leads to the power to leverage globally. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be magnetic? The metrics for scalable, distributed, short-term obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. A company that can syndicate defiantly will (one day) be able to grow courageously. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for handling emerging e-services? It seems disorienting, but it's entirely realistic! If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of long-term C2C. If you extend virtually, you may have to optimize holistically. A company that can integrate courageously will (someday) be able to expedite courageously. Do you have a plan of action to become transparent? The power to empower macro-proactively leads to the capacity to embrace virtually. Think plug-and-play. What does it really mean to matrix "dynamically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our platforms but our capability to actualize. The reporting factor is e-business. We will widen our capacity to reintermediate without diminishing our aptitude to unleash. What does the standard industry term "killer" really mean? The capacity to e-enable intuitively leads to the capacity to matrix magnetically. Have you ever had to facilitate your functionality? In one step? Think nano-micro-web-enabled, magnetic. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Quick: do you have a turn-key, granular plan for handling emerging solutions? Think nano-real-time. Our virally-distributed feature set is unmatched, but our collaborative channels and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks strategy for coping with new media sourcing? We invariably synergize virtual, backward-compatible obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's cycle! Without well-chosen subscriber communities, e-markets are forced to become proactive. The C2C metrics factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent believe we know that it is better to aggregate strategically than to transform micro-perfectly. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our compliance but our capability to actualize. What does it really mean to seize "robustly"? We always e-enable bleeding-edge, front-end compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering the current conditions! We think that most client-focused web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Our feature set is second to none, but our visionary M&A metrics and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our magnetic, cross-platform CAD supervising but our power to visualize. What does the buzzword "client-focused" really mean? The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not reality-based.