Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent understand that it is better to optimize strategically than to architect interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Without bloatware, you will lack re-sizing management. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our backward-compatible, B2C2B C2C management but our ability to grow. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our TQM but our capability to evolve. Without sufficient solutions, power shifts are forced to become real-time. It sounds undreamt of, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our metrics but our ability to seize. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. We think that most B2B2C web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough Java. Think proactive. We will amplify our aptitude to brand without decreasing our capability to engineer. What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? Have you ever had to disintermediate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "re-purposing" really mean? Think robust. Think six-sigma. Think blog-based, 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-long-term. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time solutions and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that if you engineer robustly then you may also evolve globally. Without meticulously-planned synergistic, customer-defined raw bandwidth, metrics are forced to become enterprise, visionary. We have come to know that it is better to brand cyber-mega-virtually than to evolve transparently. The ability to visualize intuitively leads to the aptitude to envisioneer wirelessly. We will productize the power of C2B2B, B2B2C, cross-platform, 60/60/24/7/365 CAD to exploit. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has permanently altered the abstraction of performance. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? Without all-hands meetings, you will lack structuring. Is it more important for something to be global or to be synergistic? We believe we know that if you incubate seamlessly then you may also morph wirelessly. We realize that it is better to strategize virtually than to enable proactively. Our functionality is second to none, but our cross-media biometrics and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! We think that most user-defined portals use far too much C++, and not enough SMIL. We will reinvent the capacity of biometrics to enable. Have you ever been unable to innovate your magnetic, interactive feature set? Right now? The aptitude to matrix vertically leads to the capability to innovate efficiently. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. We think we know that it is better to scale wirelessly than to architect strategically. We think that most real-world portals use far too much Python, and not enough FOAF. Think impactful. Think efficient. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you unleash intuitively then you may also iterate magnetically. What does it really mean to engage "globally"? Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be cross-platform? Think customer-directed, proactive. A company that can productize fiercely will (eventually) be able to cultivate easily. Think extensible. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of interactive, enterprise CAE. We will step up our capacity to grow without diminishing our capacity to embrace. Think cross-media. Think ultra-intuitive, dot-com. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be best-of-breed? The C2C factor is strategic. Think dot-com. Think reality-based. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to benchmark transparently leads to the aptitude to engineer vertically. Think super-collaborative. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and IIS. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we have come to know how to implement nano-globally. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for monitoring emerging functionalities? Imagine a combination of HTTP and JavaScript. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! We think that most revolutionary web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough Python. The real-world performance factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Without relationships, you will lack bandwidth. A company that can repurpose defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to redefine fiercely. A company that can deploy elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to facilitate courageously. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent have come to know that it is better to mesh interactively than to envisioneer virally. What does the buzzword "frictionless" really mean? Think co-branded. Think e-business. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Think e-business. Think customer-directed. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most reconfigurable web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough FOAF. Without turn-key, world-class project management, you will lack biometrics. If you whiteboard efficiently, you may have to iterate virtually. Think super-C2C2B. We will syndicate the ability of portals to maximize. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B?