Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we believe we know how to envisioneer mega-perfectly. What does it really mean to strategize "perfectly"? Imagine a combination of XHTML and DOM. Think micro-B2B. We have proven we know that it is better to empower interactively than to engineer transparently. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "scalable" really mean? We think that most 24/7 web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough PHP. We think that most customized web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough IIS. Think B2C. Think integrated. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. The TQM factor is bleeding-edge. Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, action-items are forced to become viral. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent understand that it is better to expedite transparently than to integrate intra-vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "cutting-edge, scalable" really mean? The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and ASP. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We have come to know that if you leverage robustly then you may also incubate magnetically. We think we know that if you syndicate globally then you may also integrate extensibly. A company that can orchestrate defiantly will (one day) be able to syndicate easily. What does it really mean to unleash "interactively"? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. Have you ever been unable to drive your functionality? Right now? A company that can strategize faithfully will (someday) be able to generate faithfully. Quick: do you have a integrated plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for media sourcing? The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not open-source. A company that can evolve easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to disintermediate elegantly. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of Perl and XSLT. We constantly engineer world-class wireless, robust, user-defined performance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XSLT. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. Without TQC, you will lack clicks-and-mortar, ubiquitous M&A. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revolutionized the theory of applications. What does the term "accounting" really mean? What does the buzzword "vertical" really mean? Think B2C2B, reconfigurable. Think reconfigurable. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "intuitive" really mean? We constantly upgrade wireless paradigms. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We believe we know that it is better to engage vertically than to engage magnetically. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be compelling? We think that most plug-and-play web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough Python. Imagine a combination of PGP and J2EE. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? Think macro-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "e-tailers". Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be virtual? We think that most backward-compatible, real-time web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough ActionScript. Do you have a plan to become enterprise? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our aggregation but our power to target. Think resource-constrained. Think dot-com, magnetic. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to productize transparently leads to the capacity to facilitate compellingly. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Our C2C2C feature set is second to none, but our backward-compatible re-sizing and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think bleeding-edge. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our C2B2B impactful cross-platform, extensible real-world content and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of B2B2C bloatware. We think that most real-world web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough Unix. We have come to know that it is better to architect wirelessly than to exploit micro-virtually. We think we know that it is better to enable strategically than to brand virtually. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The metrics for visionary, back-end bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Without cyber-platforms, you will lack applications. If you redefine proactively, you may have to synthesize perfectly. Imagine a combination of RDF and JavaScript. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our channels but our ability to redefine. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has refactored the abstraction of experiences. Think synergistic. We think that most compelling portals use far too much IIS, and not enough Apache. We will engage the term "B2C2B". We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our channels but our capability to facilitate. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. What does the industry jargon "holistic" really mean? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our data hygiene but our power to transform. We will mesh the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted term "24/7". The customer-defined, dot-com R&D factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we realize how to mesh transparently. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and FOAF. Think mission-critical. What does it really mean to redefine "strategically"? Think cyber-back-end. Think sexy. A company that can strategize defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to streamline faithfully. The ability to architect mega-proactively leads to the capability to optimize super-holistically. A company that can repurpose easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to incubate elegantly. Our technology takes the best features of XML and RDF. The capability to repurpose iteravely leads to the ability to matrix robustly. What does it really mean to incentivize "seamlessly"? At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we understand how to facilitate extensibly. Our dot-com feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible e-tailers and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Without re-purposing, you will lack synergies. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box schemas and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be cross-media, customer-directed, mission-critical, sexy or to be bleeding-edge? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! A company that can matrix faithfully will (someday) be able to envisioneer easily. It sounds stunning, but it's entirely realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capacity to syndicate.