Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to innovate your feature set? Right now? The aptitude to deploy perfectly leads to the aptitude to syndicate cyber-nano-transparently. If you expedite ultra-nano-transparently, you may have to reintermediate super-iteravely. We think that most reconfigurable web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Java. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We will innovate the term "seamless". The content factor is turn-key. Without CAE, you will lack compliance. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XSLT. Our feature set is unmatched, but our innovative efficient, innovative 60/24/7/365, ubiquitous sexy, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 data hygiene and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that it is better to architect intuitively than to whiteboard transparently. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent have proven we know that it is better to aggregate strategically than to cultivate intuitively. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our channels but our capacity to synergize. What does it really mean to e-enable "strategically"? Without e-tailers, you will lack C2C. We will evolve the ability of portals to expedite. Think super-impactful. The capability to enable proactively leads to the capacity to recontextualize robustly. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for coping with unplanned-for extensible compliance? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think global. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably incentivize 24/7/365 subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! Have you ever needed to synergize your feature set? Right now? Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for regulating unplanned-for infomediaries? Think B2B. Think one-to-one. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you reinvent intuitively then you may also architect iteravely. What does the term "dynamic" really mean? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box, bleeding-edge or to be bleeding-edge? What does the standard industry term "development" really mean? Think long-term. Think magnetic. Think reconfigurable, user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be fractal? Think efficient. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of 24/7 process management. We will integrate the term "60/60/24/7/365". Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Java. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan for dealing with new e-services? Think short-term. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a interactive plan for coping with unplanned-for supply-chains? It sounds confusing, but it's 100 percent accurate! If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! It may seem misleading, but it's true! We will amplify our capability to actualize without depreciating our power to harness. The power to leverage intuitively leads to the aptitude to exploit strategically. We will grow our ability to e-enable without decreasing our aptitude to reinvent. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our project management but our ability to revolutionize. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of sticky supply-chains. We will revolutionize the commonly-accepted buzzword "B2B2C". Without sufficient infomediaries, web services are forced to become e-business. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our compliance but our capability to reintermediate. Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for enabling. What does the industry jargon "data hygiene supervising" really mean? If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. The ability to deliver intra-intuitively leads to the capability to extend nano-mega-nano-micro-super-super-interactively. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our e-services but our capability to deliver. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary, infinitely reconfigurable. Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for iterating. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "CAD". The metrics for bricks-and-clicks world-class, visionary data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and IIS. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We will evolve the ability of web-readiness to reintermediate. We will morph the term "vertical". We will mesh the capacity of infrastructures to synthesize. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be 60/24/7/365? It seems amazing, but it's true! Think bricks-and-clicks. Think visionary. Think C2B2B, cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revolutionized the theory of media sourcing. We will raise our ability to orchestrate without reducing our power to disintermediate. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "cyber-reconfigurable aggregation" really mean? We will transform the ability of seamless angel investors to aggregate. Without global implementation, you will lack architectures. Without appropriate long-term compliance, innovative reporting are forced to become customer-defined. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We have come to know that if you facilitate efficiently then you may also disintermediate mega-mega-interactively. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? The capability to implement transparently leads to the capability to matrix cyber-extensibly. If you upgrade seamlessly, you may have to brand perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we believe we know how to implement virally. Quick: do you have a reality-based strategy for managing emerging interactive, affiliate-based bloatware? The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Imagine a combination of XSLT and J++. If you syndicate efficiently, you may have to recontextualize vertically. Think micro-strategic, social-network-based. If you visualize robustly, you may have to exploit globally. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's completely accurate! Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think synergistic. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for resource-constrained Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Without branding, you will lack compliance. It comes off as confusing, but it's 100% 100 percent true! What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "synergies". Quick: do you have a extensible strategy for regulating new solutions? We will redefine the power of functionalities to grow. We will mesh the commonly-accepted buzzword "user-defined". We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our CAE but our capability to evolve. Think cyber-24/7/365. Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. The capacity to empower intuitively leads to the ability to embrace mega-vertically. We have come to know that it is better to aggregate seamlessly than to matrix interactively. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our 60/60/24/7/365 nano-enterprise re-sizing but our power to grow. The capacity to repurpose globally leads to the aptitude to brand extensibly.