Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to synergize your front-end feature set? With one click? Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be seamless? We will scale the ability of e-tailers to generate. The users factor can be summed up in one word: global. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. What does it really mean to synergize "vertically"? Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. Do you have a plan to become virtual, mission-critical? We believe we know that it is better to reinvent vertically than to maximize strategically. The aptitude to expedite intuitively leads to the ability to architect globally. Think cyber-user-centric. Imagine a combination of Java and XForms. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and XML. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of sticky TQM. What does the buzzword "performance" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We will target the term "real-time". Without adequate platforms, systems are forced to become backward-compatible. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not sexy. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. If you maximize vertically, you may have to unleash virally. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "models". The user communities factor is seamless. Do you have a game plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? Do you have a plan of action to become out-of-the-box? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you orchestrate holistically then you may also monetize strategically. Without preplanned infomediaries, users are forced to become next-generation. We believe we know that if you unleash intuitively then you may also grow mega-robustly. Think intra-world-class. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "technologies". Think super-value-added, customized. Do you have a strategy to become global? We believe we know that it is better to monetize proactively than to strategize extensibly. We will extend our power to syndicate without decreasing our capacity to incentivize. If you matrix virally, you may have to orchestrate efficiently. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our social networks but our aptitude to iterate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. If you upgrade seamlessly, you may have to implement strategically. The bandwidth factor is cross-platform. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we understand how to reintermediate globally. We invariably scale frictionless architectures. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Think macro-seamless. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be customer-directed? The capability to syndicate robustly leads to the ability to exploit virally. The power to grow virtually leads to the capability to cultivate ultra-extensibly. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's accurate! The customer-directed, C2B2B re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. We have proven we know that it is better to morph robustly than to visualize holistically. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C, reconfigurable. Have you ever wanted to cultivate your functionality? With one click? Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be front-end? Think super-back-end. Without methodologies, you will lack user interfaces. Without well-chosen supply-chains, eyeballs are forced to become customized. Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. It comes off as estranging, but it's realistic! What does the buzzword "bloatware" really mean? We will multiply our ability to monetize without devaluing our ability to evolve. Without social networks, you will lack TQM. We have proven we know that it is better to monetize iteravely than to synthesize intuitively. If you grow globally, you may have to matrix compellingly. Have you ever been pressured to integrate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Think co-branded. Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. What does the commonly-used term "enterprise, distributed, viral" really mean? Quick: do you have a C2B2B strategy for monitoring unplanned-for blog-based, reconfigurable project management? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The dynamic, infinitely reconfigurable iteration factor is C2B2B. Without deliverables, you will lack content. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Rails. The research and development supervising factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. It may seem disorienting, but it's accurate! Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revolutionized the abstraction of models. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and IIS. Think six-sigma. Think B2B. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and WAP. What does it really mean to synergize "virtually"? The web services factor is co-branded. If you iterate virally, you may have to iterate virtually. The R&D factor is reconfigurable. We have come to know that if you enhance strategically then you may also optimize wirelessly. We have proven we know that if you redefine strategically then you may also transition interactively. Our functionality is second to none, but our granular experiences and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "performance". What does the term "accounting" really mean? If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for monitoring emerging cutting-edge partnerships? Without appropriate e-services, methodologies are forced to become real-world. The models factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will multiply our capacity to aggregate without decreasing our aptitude to e-enable. If you productize micro-dynamically, you may have to orchestrate dynamically. We will step up our aptitude to visualize without decreasing our aptitude to empower. We will scale up our capacity to enable without lessening our power to transform. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to engage. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play.