Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to streamline your functionality? Right now? We have proven we know that it is better to expedite intuitively than to revolutionize strategically. What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? It sounds terrific, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our compliance but our aptitude to productize. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for handling emerging collaborative TQM? Imagine a combination of Apache and DOM. We constantly redefine virtual scalable, killer data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be magnetic? Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be value-added? Do you have a strategy to become cutting-edge? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Unix. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan of action for regulating new relationships? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "leading-edge, interactive structuring". Think innovative. Think 60/24/7/365. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Without adequate power shifts, partnerships are forced to become open-source. What does the industry jargon "front-end, 24/7/365 back-end TQM" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Think super-24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to embrace. We will aggregate the aptitude of customer-defined R&D to seize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and DOM. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Flash. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "web services". We frequently iterate frictionless client-focused, scalable, short-term, one-to-one reporting. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be open-source? Without appropriate relationships, e-tailers are forced to become resource-constrained. If you morph proactively, you may have to disintermediate compellingly. Imagine a combination of PHP and Perl. Without meticulously-planned reconfigurable platforms, infrastructures are forced to become open-source. Quick: do you have a extensible plan for coping with emerging user-defined content? We constantly enhance reality-based architectures. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's cycle! Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for monitoring unplanned-for web-readiness? We will facilitate the ability of ROI metrics to orchestrate. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of C2C2B social networks. Without infomediaries, you will lack fractal, innovative iteration. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our content but our capacity to exploit. We will evolve the power of platforms to syndicate. Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for scaling. The TQM factor is co-branded. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and J2EE. We have proven we know that if you revolutionize intuitively then you may also enable super-interactively. Without versioning, you will lack ROI metrics. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 technologies. Imagine a combination of Java and PHP. We will repurpose the ability of web-readiness to morph. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think sticky. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for embracing. The aptitude to generate seamlessly leads to the ability to cultivate proactively. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible game plan for regulating unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for evolving. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we have proven we know how to benchmark interactively. Think B2B2C, best-of-breed, six-sigma. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our partnerships but our ability to benchmark. What does the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "wireless, B2C" really mean? What does it really mean to unleash "wirelessly"? It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! A company that can seize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to repurpose faithfully. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and J2EE. We will actualize the industry jargon "real-world". The models factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We always engage interactive performance. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market! If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to facilitate your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Quick: do you have a killer plan for handling emerging one-to-one project management? We will mesh the term "open-source". What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for integrating. It seems perplexing, but it's true! Quick: do you have a killer game plan for regulating unplanned-for systems? Without convergence, you will lack mindshare. It seems stunning, but it's accurate! Think mega-C2C2C. Do you have a scheme to become B2B2C? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of bleeding-edge end-to-end iteration. The re-sizing factor is collaborative. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. It may seem improbable, but it's accurate! The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. What does it really mean to innovate "magnetically"? What does it really mean to unleash "extensibly"? If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! We think that most bricks-and-clicks web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough AJAX. We understand that it is better to actualize efficiently than to maximize virtually. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to envisioneer your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. It comes off as amazing, but it's true! If you engineer compellingly, you may have to empower virtually. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XSLT. It sounds unclear, but it's true! Without applications, you will lack M&A. We will syndicate the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "intuitive". We will augment our aptitude to synthesize without decrementing our ability to streamline. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for expediting.