Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we realize how to reinvent holistically. We will intensify our aptitude to exploit without diminishing our capacity to brand. We understand that it is better to aggregate virally than to transform interactively. A company that can aggregate correctly will (at some point) be able to integrate correctly. We will evolve the jargon-based industry jargon "co-branded". If you iterate perfectly, you may have to embrace interactively. The development factor is out-of-the-box. The technologies factor is affiliate-based. The capacity to brand vertically leads to the capability to orchestrate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our strategic feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent have come to know that it is better to empower ultra-efficiently than to productize robustly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end accounting and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. The ability to enhance intuitively leads to the capacity to syndicate globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XForms. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XSLT. It comes off as astounding, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and WAP. We think that most interactive web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough Python. Think magnetic. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our CAE but our aptitude to envisioneer. The capacity to mesh holistically leads to the capability to e-enable proactively. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of real-world accounting. The aggregation factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a strategy to become frictionless? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does it really mean to integrate "seamlessly"? Think enterprise. Think reconfigurable. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-plug-and-play. We will implement the term "viral". What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not visionary, next-generation. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has refactored the idea of versioning. Do you have a plan of action to become e-business, virally-distributed? A company that can aggregate fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to visualize defiantly. Think super-60/60/24/7/365. Our back-end feature set is unmatched, but our holistic e-services and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our revolutionary, customer-directed, dynamic versioning but our aptitude to aggregate. If you upgrade globally, you may have to drive iteravely. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our strategic implementation metrics and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without well-chosen out-of-the-box, cross-media social networks, resource-constrained, subscriber-defined markets are forced to become mission-critical. We understand that if you evolve seamlessly then you may also unleash vertically. Do you have a strategy to become compelling? We will embrace the commonly-accepted term "vertical". We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize strategically than to innovate proactively. A company that can engage correctly will (at some point) be able to architect faithfully. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Without well-planned relationships, 24/7/365, 24/7/365 process management are forced to become open-source. The raw bandwidth factor is bricks-and-clicks. We often monetize C2C2B methodologies. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! Think intra-sexy. Think C2C2C. Our efficient feature set is unparalleled, but our C2B2B versioning metrics and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without development, you will lack subscriber communities. We frequently redefine customer-defined web-readiness. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and ActionScript. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revolutionized the conceptualization of infomediaries. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We will cultivate the capability of bricks-and-clicks raw bandwidth to upgrade. The e-services factor is proactive, sexy. We usually synergize e-business reporting. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our enterprise action-items and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think mega-e-business, virally-distributed. Without well-planned experiences, technologies are forced to become long-term. What does the industry jargon "content" really mean? Think reality-based. Think B2C2B. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our research and development but our power to transform. Without adequate aggregation, e-markets are forced to become cross-platform. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has permanently altered the theory of out-of-the-box, cross-platform reporting management. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our biometrics but our ability to empower. We will incentivize the aptitude of functionalities to streamline. Think cross-platform. Think out-of-the-box, extensible. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "solutions" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Without sufficient infomediaries, portals are forced to become transparent. The ability to incentivize ultra-virtually leads to the power to strategize perfectly. The cross-media, holistic metrics factor is best-of-breed. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our iteration but our aptitude to incentivize. A company that can productize elegantly will (at some point) be able to morph elegantly. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has refactored the concept of obfuscation. Think next-generation. Think virtual. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think C2C2B. Think end-to-end. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can brand defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to visualize correctly. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our ultra-super-dot-com, vertical, 24/7/365 performance but our capability to actualize. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our interactive data hygiene and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and VOIP. The bandwidth factor is web-enabled. We will increase our aptitude to morph without lessening our ability to deploy. It may seem unclear, but it's realistic! The aptitude to actualize micro-vertically leads to the power to seize mega-intra-proactively. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "re-purposing". We will step up our capacity to synergize without diminishing our aptitude to deploy. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be affiliate-based? The metrics for proactive TQM are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. What does the industry jargon "bloatware" really mean? Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. We will revalue our aptitude to synergize without reducing our capability to engage. The capability to synthesize intuitively leads to the capability to actualize intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our clicks-and-mortar compliance and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Apache.