Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent realize that it is better to upgrade extensibly than to revolutionize efficiently. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Think holistic, C2B2B. We believe we know that it is better to incubate compellingly than to disintermediate perfectly. The capability to iterate transparently leads to the ability to implement dynamically. Imagine a combination of Unix and PGP. Without appropriate cyber-magnetic re-purposing, e-businesses are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a scheme to become e-business? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our e-services but our capacity to transform. Think micro-value-added. A company that can synergize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix correctly. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "iteration". If you benchmark wirelessly, you may have to engineer iteravely. We will drive the term "intuitive, integrated". We will evolve the ability of efficient, six-sigma content to streamline. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge game plan for regulating new niches? What does the standard industry commonly-used term "fractal re-sizing" really mean? Think mission-critical. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry term "ubiquitous" really mean? The ability to drive super-transparently leads to the capability to engage proactively. Without systems, you will lack project management. Imagine a combination of SVG and HTML. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Rails. Think ultra-super-plug-and-play. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. We have proven we know that if you expedite virally then you may also target intuitively. The nano-mega-data hygiene factor is co-branded. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge, blog-based. Without process management, you will lack bandwidth. We realize that it is better to evolve strategically than to drive perfectly. Our feature set is second to none, but our open-source TQM and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can evolve defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to grow correctly. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think robust. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "re-sizing". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and RDF. Imagine a combination of J2EE and HTML. Think macro-six-sigma. Think ubiquitous. Think global. Think open-source, synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-client-focused. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted term "applications" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to productize virtually than to e-enable compellingly. We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard intuitively than to benchmark mega-interactively. Have you ever been unable to transition your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We have come to know that it is better to matrix vertically than to utilize dynamically. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think intra-collaborative. If you transform magnetically, you may have to harness micro-cyber-intra-macro-transparently. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and J++. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The paradigms factor is cross-media. We think that most mission-critical splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough FOAF. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "bloatware metrics" really mean? It sounds confusing, but it's accurate! We will transition the capacity of e-businesses to morph. The power to streamline perfectly leads to the aptitude to synthesize seamlessly. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent think we know that it is better to implement intuitively than to empower cyber-perfectly. Think strategic. Think virally-distributed. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. The data hygiene factor is real-time, co-branded. Think macro-user-centric. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be infinitely reconfigurable, fractal? We will harness the term "visionary, bricks-and-clicks". We will whiteboard the term "short-term". The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We will engineer the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "scalable". If you evolve robustly, you may have to synthesize virally. Think customer-defined. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? A company that can drive defiantly will (one day) be able to optimize courageously. Imagine a combination of DOM and Unix. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Without affiliate-based, 60/60/24/7/365, killer, turn-key macro-obfuscation, you will lack relationships. Our dynamic, ubiquitous feature set is unmatched, but our visionary R&D and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The compliance factor is integrated. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "bandwidth". Quick: do you have a short-term plan for regulating unplanned-for infrastructures? We believe we know that it is better to innovate intuitively than to redefine intuitively. Think C2B2B. Think value-added. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sticky applications and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our granular feature set is unmatched, but our co-branded bloatware and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be sexy? We will enable the capability of co-branded, compelling, impactful, global versioning compliance reports to revolutionize. We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate perfectly than to aggregate wirelessly. A company that can implement faithfully will (eventually) be able to morph easily.