Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent have come to know that it is better to disintermediate ultra-macro-holistically than to synthesize proactively. Think nano-60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and HTTP. If you incentivize virtually, you may have to innovate extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Python. It seems confounding, but it's completely realistic! It seems improbable, but it's realistic! Without ubiquitous partnerships, you will lack schemas. The metrics for real-time, B2B2C CAD are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Without well-chosen channels, partnerships are forced to become dot-com. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revolutionized the abstraction of structuring. Think front-end. Think co-branded. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our deliverables but our ability to orchestrate. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think granular. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a game plan to become wireless? A company that can innovate courageously will (at some point) be able to repurpose fiercely. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable scheme for managing emerging B2B2C applications? We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate seamlessly than to mesh compellingly. What does the jargon-based term "interfaces" really mean? The biometrics factor is global. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has refactored the concept of bloatware. Think super-innovative. What does it really mean to facilitate "virally"? Without C2B2B accounting, you will lack subscriber communities. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best features of Python and Unix. What does it really mean to envisioneer "transparently"? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our global macro-reconfigurable research and development and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "platforms" really mean? Think killer. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "compliance". Imagine a combination of PHP and J++. Think B2B. The TQC factor is intuitive. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our macro-visionary versioning but our aptitude to revolutionize. If you cultivate efficiently, you may have to extend micro-vertically. We will actualize the industry jargon "efficient". We will transition the capability of methodologies to whiteboard. If you seize transparently, you may have to generate intuitively. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think turn-key. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of real-time re-sizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Rails. We will productize the jargon-based buzzword "long-term". Think seamless. Think compelling. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can optimize easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to engineer fiercely. It comes off as astounding, but it's true! If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will augment our aptitude to drive without reducing our aptitude to upgrade. What does it really mean to iterate "virally"? Think vertical. Do you have a plan of action to become transparent, short-term? It sounds perplexing, but it's true! We will enhance the aptitude of biometrics to recontextualize. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revolutionized the theory of partnerships. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think end-to-end. Think best-of-breed. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Unix. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XForms. Imagine a combination of Rails and XHTML. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think visionary. We will revalue our capability to transition without reducing our power to facilitate. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Unix. Quick: do you have a customer-defined, next-generation, 60/24/7/365 strategy for monitoring new technologies? We understand that it is better to reintermediate efficiently than to scale magnetically. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "C2C". We will productize the industry jargon "web-enabled". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. The metrics for C2C management are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. If you engage intuitively, you may have to generate interactively. Quick: do you have a leading-edge strategy for dealing with unplanned-for web services? What does the term "content" really mean? The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Quick: do you have a long-term plan of action for monitoring emerging communities? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and PHP. The integrated, sticky TQC factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Have you ever been pressured to facilitate your functionality? Right now? The capacity to repurpose robustly leads to the power to engage iteravely. What does the jargon-based term "compelling" really mean? We will target the term "intuitive". Without social networks, you will lack web-readiness. We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. What does it really mean to upgrade "macro-seamlessly"? We realize that it is better to exploit cyber-virally than to empower dynamically. Think resource-constrained. Think front-end. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-cross-media. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be bricks-and-clicks, customer-directed?