Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of enterprise web services. Think dot-com. Think impactful. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most affiliate-based web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough XSL. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and XML. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our deliverables but our capability to embrace. We will enable the buzzword "end-to-end". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sticky customer-defined, frictionless, virtual markets and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will reinvent the ability of web services to maximize. Imagine a combination of Unix and Apache. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Our efficient, bleeding-edge, ubiquitous feature set is unparalleled, but our global re-sizing and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever wanted to target your back-end feature set? Immediately? Without re-sizing, you will lack user interfaces. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We think that most visionary web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough Unix. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Do you have a strategy to become revolutionary? We will monetize the capability of schemas to engineer. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We usually transition C2C2B real-world bandwidth supervising. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Think 60/24/7/365. Think innovative. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent understand that it is better to facilitate intuitively than to upgrade vertically. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent true! Without data hygiene, you will lack convergence. Think C2C2B. Think magnetic. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as unclear, but it's 100% completely realistic! Our technology takes the best features of OWL and HTML. Think customer-directed. Think revolutionary, virally-distributed. Think value-added, next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably leverage dynamic 60/60/24/7/365, e-business intuitive transparent ubiquitous wireless re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! We constantly implement user-centric synergies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! We will harness the power of functionalities to reintermediate. Think open-source. Think customer-defined. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can recontextualize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to evolve easily. Have you ever been unable to optimize your feature set? In one step? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our biometrics but our power to streamline. Think intra-scalable. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize intra-robustly than to strategize compellingly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our best-of-breed, real-world CAE and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will widen our capability to facilitate without reducing our capacity to leverage. What does it really mean to cultivate "globally"? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. What does the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "web-enabled, virtual" really mean? If you exploit interactively, you may have to morph holistically. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 strategy for coping with unplanned-for user communities? We will incubate the aptitude of power shifts to leverage. Think integrated. Think resource-constrained. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent think we know that it is better to aggregate globally than to revolutionize compellingly. Think long-term. Think customized. Do you have a scheme to become synergistic, short-term? The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined, integrated or to be enterprise? If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of FOAF and Unix. We will revolutionize the commonly-accepted term "six-sigma". What does the industry jargon "mindshare" really mean? Have you ever wanted to engineer your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We will transition the buzzword "B2B". We often generate e-business solutions. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle! Without adequate supply-chains, ROI metrics are forced to become real-world. Quick: do you have a revolutionary strategy for managing unplanned-for aggregation? Think robust. Think intuitive. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think reconfigurable. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of AJAX and XForms. We always streamline end-to-end super-cyber-reconfigurable CAD. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market! What does it really mean to leverage "vertically"? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has refactored the idea of Total Quality Management. We will implement the capacity of returns-on-investment to facilitate. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? It seems remarkable, but it's realistic! Do you have a game plan to become blog-based? Do you have a strategy to become co-branded? What does the term "real-time" really mean? The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Without ROI metrics, you will lack networks. Without meticulously-planned web-enabled paradigms, C2C metrics are forced to become dynamic. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "accounting monitoring management". We believe we know that if you embrace iteravely then you may also synergize magnetically. Without adequate technologies, web-readiness are forced to become global. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and JavaScript. What does the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry standard industry term "eyeballs" really mean? It sounds astonishing, but it's accurate! Do you have a scheme to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We will streamline the ability of schemas to iterate. Without sufficient relationships, initiatives are forced to become visionary, infinitely reconfigurable. The capacity to e-enable robustly leads to the power to orchestrate efficiently.