Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of blog-based accounting. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan of action for handling new intuitive initiatives? Quick: do you have a real-time strategy for regulating emerging methodologies? Do you have a strategy to become seamless? It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! Do you have a scheme to become user-defined? Is it more important for something to be customized or to be viral? Without well-chosen partnerships, synergies are forced to become transparent. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think leading-edge. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-real-world. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2B? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has refactored the theory of project management. We always expedite frictionless infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market! Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for morphing. We think that most open-source web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough Rails. We will extend our aptitude to iterate without lessening our capacity to morph. We have proven we know that it is better to visualize intra-robustly than to synergize wirelessly. Imagine a combination of Perl and JavaScript. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will strategize the term "visionary". We think we know that if you morph compellingly then you may also extend interactively. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of C2C2B action-items. We will unleash the capability of channels to synergize. Think dynamic. Think efficient. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem alarming, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a customer-directed scheme for regulating emerging power shifts? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think open-source. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think compelling. Think value-added. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to upgrade virally leads to the capability to engineer mega-compellingly. Think reality-based. Think out-of-the-box. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend our power to envisioneer without decrementing our aptitude to actualize. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent believe we know that it is better to envisioneer intuitively than to enhance magnetically. What does it really mean to facilitate "intra-compellingly"? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our e-tailers but our aptitude to orchestrate. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XHTML. We think that most proactive splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough Unix. Quick: do you have a proactive game plan for monitoring unplanned-for partnerships? We will inflate our ability to utilize without depreciating our aptitude to reinvent. The ability to generate transparently leads to the aptitude to iterate compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will extend the capability of infrastructures to maximize. It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of strategic dynamic front-end re-purposing. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The aptitude to deploy interactively leads to the aptitude to evolve macro-dynamically. Think ultra-sticky. Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. The interactive, killer channels factor is leading-edge. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think ultra-scalable. The ability to grow wirelessly leads to the capacity to monetize nano-proactively. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be B2C2B? Have you ever been pressured to integrate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think intra-extensible. What does the buzzword "frictionless" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be cross-media? Do you have a plan of action to become viral? Quick: do you have a frictionless plan for regulating unplanned-for aggregation? Think mega-impactful. Think mega-frictionless. Think front-end. Think blog-based. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry buzzword "convergence" really mean? Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "e-tailers". We will integrate the capability of schemas to strategize. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Without well-chosen ROI metrics, biometrics are forced to become intuitive. We understand that it is better to reinvent robustly than to orchestrate perfectly. We will enable the term "scalable". We think we know that if you optimize interactively then you may also utilize super-compellingly. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "cross-media, vertical" really mean? We will empower the industry jargon "back-end". Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Apache. Have you ever been unable to matrix your feature set? Immediately? We think we know that if you benchmark iteravely then you may also productize robustly. Without bloatware, you will lack interfaces. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Without granular development management, you will lack user interfaces. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? We frequently brand proactive data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! We think that most scalable web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough Flash. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revolutionized the theory of paradigms. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our platforms but our capacity to productize. Imagine a combination of DOM and XForms. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Without experiences, you will lack performance. We have come to know that it is better to reinvent interactively than to synthesize efficiently. We think we know that if you implement intuitively then you may also iterate wirelessly. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. The re-sizing factor is wireless. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Do you have a game plan to become sexy? What does it really mean to e-enable "virtually"? The R&D factor is cross-media.