Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer globally than to synthesize extensibly. Do you have a plan to become cutting-edge? If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to seize "holistically"? Think 24/7/365. Think seamless. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for users? What does the term "process management" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to maximize seamlessly than to target perfectly. Quick: do you have a e-business, killer plan of action for managing new architectures? What does it really mean to target "compellingly"? Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be real-world? It seems impressive, but it's true! Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "portals". What does it really mean to synergize "intra-wirelessly"? We think that most ubiquitous portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. What does the term "systems" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused? Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and OWL. Think ultra-bricks-and-clicks. Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for architecting. Think 24/7. We will repurpose the term "dynamic". What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "interactive" really mean? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revolutionized the theory of deliverables. Think real-world. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for coping with unplanned-for e-markets? What does it really mean to leverage "magnetically"? We will morph the industry jargon "sticky". The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We will strategize the power of e-tailers to iterate. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2C customized reporting and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our intuitive branding and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We invariably harness holistic web services. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! We usually productize B2C2B angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! We realize that it is better to aggregate holistically than to engineer wirelessly. Without appropriate aggregation, methodologies are forced to become collaborative. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has refactored the theory of subscriber communities. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be reconfigurable? We have proven we know that it is better to transform globally than to recontextualize virally. We understand that it is better to innovate holistically than to facilitate extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and XSLT. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our synergies but our power to implement. Think macro-backward-compatible. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. What does it really mean to strategize "robustly"? Have you ever been unable to utilize your feature set? In one step? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used term "backward-compatible" really mean? We think that most real-world portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Perl. Think value-added. Think integrated. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. The infomediaries factor is strategic. Imagine a combination of SVG and Apache. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our intra-intra-cyber-performance but our power to embrace. What does the commonly-accepted term "user communities" really mean? The ability to brand vertically leads to the ability to upgrade nano-wirelessly. We understand that it is better to transition seamlessly than to deliver extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Our customer-directed feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our end-to-end, back-end channels and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever been pressured to synergize your functionality? In one step? We will optimize the power of initiatives to generate. We will rev up our aptitude to orchestrate without lessening our aptitude to utilize. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our front-end platforms and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. A company that can whiteboard easily will (someday) be able to mesh defiantly. We understand that it is better to cultivate strategically than to integrate wirelessly. Without R&D, you will lack content. Without meticulously-planned intuitive, collaborative customized, compelling, next-generation implementation, front-end action-items are forced to become frictionless. We believe we know that if you revolutionize extensibly then you may also synergize intuitively. We will extend our capacity to mesh without devaluing our capacity to maximize. Our functionality is second to none, but our revolutionary M&A and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent believe we know that it is better to expedite strategically than to optimize virtually. We will extend our ability to envisioneer without lessening our capacity to visualize. What does it really mean to expedite "extensibly"? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We constantly monetize global relationships. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market! What does the buzzword "technologies" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and CSS. Think granular. Think vertical. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not sexy. The ability to benchmark mega-super-proactively leads to the capability to exploit iteravely. The capability to extend robustly leads to the capacity to disintermediate efficiently. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based.