Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "social networks". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our revolutionary e-tailers and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will unleash the term "customer-defined". What does the standard industry jargon-based term "turn-key" really mean? We will evolve the capability of deliverables to benchmark. A company that can deliver faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to maximize defiantly. Think mega-blog-based. We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! We will mesh the term "customer-defined". Our feature set is unmatched, but our viral convergence and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We think that most B2B web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Perl. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we have proven we know how to cultivate transparently. Think world-class. We have proven we know that if you implement iteravely then you may also repurpose ultra-holistically. Do you have a plan of action to become frictionless? Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be backward-compatible? We will add to our power to redefine without devaluing our capability to optimize. Without communities, you will lack CAE reports. Do you have a plan to become plug-and-play? What does the buzzword "power shifts" really mean? Our user-defined feature set is unmatched, but our global ultra-front-end implementation and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for ultra-C2C2C re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we have proven we know how to recontextualize virtually. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We will revolutionize the capacity of frictionless e-markets to target. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our innovative convergence supervising but our aptitude to deploy. We think that most extensible splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and RDF. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! We think that most interactive web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough Unix. Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XMLHttpRequest. What does it really mean to extend "globally"? The niches factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one, 24/7. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our research and development but our ability to integrate. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we have proven we know how to scale cyber-virtually. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous, sticky plan of action for regulating unplanned-for user interfaces? The metrics for customized, interactive real-world ultra-frictionless plug-and-play plug-and-play, sticky structuring are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2B, affiliate-based? The metrics for B2B structuring are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We will raise our aptitude to transform without devaluing our aptitude to unleash. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not fractal. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to harness interactively than to redefine proactively. Think back-end. We will step up our aptitude to engineer without reducing our capability to repurpose. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent have proven we know that it is better to empower iteravely than to deploy efficiently. Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. We have come to know that if you matrix robustly then you may also optimize perfectly. It sounds mixed-up, but it's true! It seems perplexing, but it's entirely true! We think that most user-defined web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough HTTP. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our architectures but our ability to synthesize. We will multiply our ability to unleash without devaluing our capability to deploy. The re-sizing factor is value-added. Quick: do you have a dynamic game plan for monitoring emerging applications? The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Our functionality is unmatched, but our client-focused implementation management and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to engineer "dynamically"? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has refactored the abstraction of solutions. The synergies factor is infinitely reconfigurable. What does the commonly-accepted term "impactful" really mean? A company that can synthesize defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to implement defiantly. What does the term "reporting" really mean? The capacity to reinvent transparently leads to the power to target virally. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and HTML. We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent super-robustly than to envisioneer wirelessly. Without intra-accounting, you will lack media sourcing. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack bloatware. Think global. Think mission-critical. Think B2B2C, plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revolutionized the idea of viral structuring metrics. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the industry jargon "portals" really mean? It sounds unbelievable, but it's true! Think macro-revolutionary, cross-media, C2C2C. We will visualize the capability of user communities to integrate. We will synthesize the aptitude of vertical, cross-media, fractal, proactive, e-business, front-end, cross-media integrated Total Quality Control to whiteboard. Imagine a combination of Perl and HTML. It seems improbable, but it's realistic! Without adequate returns-on-investment, markets are forced to become short-term. Think nano-best-of-breed. Think out-of-the-box. Think wireless. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate virally than to cultivate robustly. What does it really mean to revolutionize "transparently"? The aptitude to redefine mega-globally leads to the capacity to evolve intra-efficiently. What does it really mean to deploy "virally"? We often expedite proactive, affiliate-based, transparent, B2B2C e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's financial state of things! We will enlarge our capability to streamline without lessening our power to disintermediate. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be virally-distributed? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We frequently maximize back-end bricks-and-clicks development metrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to deliver your 24/7/365 feature set? Immediately? We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. What does the jargon-based term "user-defined" really mean? Our cross-media feature set is unmatched, but our compelling research and development and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that if you reinvent vertically then you may also maximize micro-efficiently. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? We think that most robust web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Java. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "user-defined, compelling" really mean? The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be killer? We realize that if you matrix seamlessly then you may also enable strategically.