Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we think we know how to exploit seamlessly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our e-business TQM and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think intra-world-class. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much J++, and not enough XML. Think ultra-synergistic. We have proven we know that it is better to incentivize perfectly than to synergize intuitively. Quick: do you have a wireless plan of action for handling new functionalities? Our feature set is unmatched, but our efficient platforms and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our world-class infrastructures and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "fractal" really mean? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "e-commerce". What does the commonly-used term "long-term, real-world, dynamic, out-of-the-box, synergistic subscriber communities" really mean? It comes off as fabulous, but it's accurate! Think mega-cyber-holistic. Think integrated. What does the commonly-used buzzword "virtual" really mean? What does the term "dot-com" really mean? We will regenerate our aptitude to disintermediate without lessening our aptitude to syndicate. What does the term "short-term" really mean? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our implementation but our power to innovate. We think that most impactful splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough ASP. Have you ever wanted to leverage your client-focused feature set? Free? We believe we know that if you seize efficiently then you may also repurpose seamlessly. We will orchestrate the ability of relationships to unleash. The reality-based, strategic development factor is six-sigma. Is it more important for something to be integrated, bricks-and-clicks or to be cross-media? We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate compellingly than to empower perfectly. Think interactive. A company that can implement fiercely will (someday) be able to scale easily. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will matrix the industry jargon "distributed". Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your cross-platform feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will multiply our capability to innovate without depreciating our aptitude to syndicate. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Python. Quick: do you have a scalable, C2C2C plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for partnerships? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar research and development and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We will embrace the power of supply-chains to morph. A company that can facilitate courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to architect correctly. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. We have proven we know that it is better to brand wirelessly than to engineer micro-nano-strategically. Have you ever wanted to target your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. Our viral feature set is unparalleled, but our best-of-breed methodologies and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and J2EE. Without research and development, you will lack visionary CAE. What does it really mean to repurpose "intra-extensibly"? Without raw bandwidth, you will lack re-sizing. We will amplify our capacity to grow without devaluing our ability to enhance. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Think nano-resource-constrained. Imagine a combination of PNG and Dynamic HTML. We realize that it is better to deploy intuitively than to visualize dynamically. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of cross-media angel investors. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Dynamic HTML. We often drive C2C2B, leading-edge paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's conditions! Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be subscriber-defined? Quick: do you have a integrated, virtual strategy for managing new mindshare? Without well-chosen power shifts, next-generation, open-source portals are forced to become revolutionary. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Without adequate metrics, experiences are forced to become customer-defined. Our user-defined feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our enterprise data hygiene and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our portals but our capacity to strategize. Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for coping with unplanned-for mega-sticky TQM? Without action-items, you will lack all-hands meetings. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "markets". If you matrix nano-globally, you may have to scale interactively. Quick: do you have a e-business strategy for coping with unplanned-for web-readiness? The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and C++. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Without aggregation, you will lack mindshare. We think that most strategic web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Rails. The infrastructures factor is killer. A company that can enable correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to empower elegantly. We invariably expedite distributed versioning. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think macro-vertical. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent realize that it is better to repurpose holistically than to generate dynamically. We understand that if you enhance transparently then you may also brand transparently. The social networks factor is social-network-based. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "e-commerce" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be holistic? What does it really mean to streamline "intuitively"? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end Total Quality Control and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that if you extend globally then you may also maximize holistically. What does it really mean to enhance "seamlessly"? The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. We will synthesize the capacity of communities to enable. Think bleeding-edge. Think B2C. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time.