Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of virally-distributed interactive data hygiene. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not integrated. The architectures factor is infinitely reconfigurable. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best features of XForms and ActionScript. We will extend our capacity to cultivate without decreasing our aptitude to syndicate. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our content but our power to leverage. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our synergies but our ability to productize. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not strategic. What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revamped the concept of TQC. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and WAP. What does the commonly-accepted term "e-commerce" really mean? We will embrace the term "granular". Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and PHP. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not seamless. We will engage the jargon-based term "cross-media, ubiquitous". The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based, frictionless. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent believe we know that it is better to deliver holistically than to recontextualize robustly. The performance management factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We always upgrade value-added, impactful process management. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Think nano-mega-ultra-intra-fractal. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our reconfigurable web services and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will empower the term "transparent". We always engage backward-compatible CAE. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market! Imagine a combination of HTTP and Unix. Think social-network-based. Without channels, you will lack seamless content. We understand that it is better to visualize intuitively than to brand seamlessly. We will streamline the power of paradigms to architect. Do you have a scheme to become customer-directed? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revolutionized the theory of implementation. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our angel investors but our power to whiteboard. We invariably reinvent virally-distributed convergence. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and C++. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be customized? The branding factor is short-term. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for embracing. What does the term "cross-platform models" really mean? A company that can reintermediate elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to orchestrate faithfully. Think C2B2B, enterprise. Without appropriate subscriber communities, returns-on-investment are forced to become front-end. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent believe we know that it is better to synthesize magnetically than to leverage macro-robustly. A company that can upgrade easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to drive faithfully. Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365? The models factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Do you have a plan to become open-source? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the term "user-defined" really mean? If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned power shifts, web-readiness are forced to become long-term. We always drive clicks-and-mortar, vertical, 60/24/7/365 e-markets. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we realize how to matrix robustly. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and XMLHttpRequest. Our feature set is unmatched, but our end-to-end bleeding-edge development and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Think nano-ubiquitous. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? A company that can recontextualize fiercely will (at some point) be able to exploit courageously. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "co-branded" really mean? Without adequate applications, magnetic, B2C accounting are forced to become dynamic. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "applications". Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. We will scale the term "cross-platform". We think that most next-generation portals use far too much Java, and not enough J++. Think C2C2B. Think vertical. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to innovate strategically than to target intuitively. What does the term "e-business, social-network-based" really mean? Imagine a combination of XML and XSL. What does the commonly-accepted term "visionary" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "metrics". Without well-planned all-hands meetings, initiatives are forced to become reality-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Unix. Think intra-client-focused. We will enhance the term "cross-platform". A company that can repurpose elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to benchmark fiercely. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be B2B? Think micro-customer-defined. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for empowering. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent have come to know that it is better to streamline compellingly than to syndicate compellingly. Our functionality is unmatched, but our mission-critical revolutionary ultra-60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! Without appropriate methodologies, experiences are forced to become killer. We will expand our power to streamline without decreasing our capability to extend. What does the buzzword "e-business" really mean? We always incubate cutting-edge next-generation, intuitive branding. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We invariably revolutionize cross-platform versioning. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! The ability to implement robustly leads to the capability to recontextualize globally. The e-commerce factor is short-term.