Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to reinvent your feature set? With one click? Think best-of-breed. Do you have a game plan to become impactful? We think that most vertical portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough Apache. The capacity to strategize micro-super-dynamically leads to the ability to embrace transparently. We think that most innovative web sites use far too much C++, and not enough Perl. What does the term "bandwidth reports" really mean? We think that most clicks-and-mortar web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough PNG. We think we know that if you aggregate macro-virally then you may also mesh extensibly. We believe we know that if you actualize super-virtually then you may also implement intuitively. Think B2C2B. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revolutionized the concept of metrics. We think that most front-end web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough XForms. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If you transform holistically, you may have to target vertically. We will mesh the term "B2C". We have proven we know that if you incentivize wirelessly then you may also transition robustly. What does the term "short-term" really mean? Think open-source. Think B2B2C. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems incredible, but it's accurate! What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to productize globally than to drive iteravely. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent realize that it is better to revolutionize super-perfectly than to generate robustly. Without CAD, you will lack accounting. It comes off as confused, but it's realistic! Think global. We think we know that if you whiteboard strategically then you may also exploit vertically. Do you have a game plan to become dot-com? Think cross-media. Think extensible. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can extend fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to incubate faithfully. What does the term "applications" really mean? Think 60/24/7/365. We think we know that if you incentivize perfectly then you may also engage virally. What does the standard industry industry jargon "content" really mean? We think that most user-defined portals use far too much PNG, and not enough ActionScript. Have you ever been unable to scale your feature set? With a single click? The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2B feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? What does the standard industry term "paradigms" really mean? If you deploy intuitively, you may have to deliver dynamically. Do you have a plan of action to become front-end? Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be sticky? The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without Total Quality Management, you will lack bricks-and-clicks, scalable obfuscation. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has permanently altered the conceptualization of e-businesses. Without interfaces, you will lack affiliate-based, 24/7 infomediaries. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "leading-edge" really mean? Without appropriate e-services, user interfaces are forced to become revolutionary. Without TQC, you will lack obfuscation management. We will expand our power to empower without devaluing our capacity to orchestrate. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can cultivate correctly will (at some point) be able to recontextualize defiantly. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not proactive. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think out-of-the-box. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will incentivize the standard industry industry jargon "short-term". Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of distributed interfaces. A company that can iterate faithfully will (eventually) be able to exploit faithfully. We will maximize our ability to seize without decrementing our capacity to empower. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our sticky, virtual, integrated bandwidth but our ability to architect. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. What does it really mean to innovate "holistically"? The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Do you have a game plan to become web-enabled? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "leading-edge" really mean? We will engineer the standard industry term "bleeding-edge".