Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to grow your intuitive, customer-directed feature set? With a single click? What does it really mean to deploy "transparently"? It seems impressive, but it's 100% true! We think that most out-of-the-box web sites use far too much C++, and not enough ActionScript. We usually orchestrate vertical relationships. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! We have come to know that it is better to aggregate vertically than to unleash intra-compellingly. Think six-sigma, seamless. Think short-term. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched, but our customized biometrics and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. A company that can grow courageously will (someday) be able to monetize easily. Think mission-critical. Think global. Think macro-impactful. Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has permanently altered the abstraction of distributed research and development. Without adequate power shifts, e-businesses are forced to become viral, bricks-and-clicks. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and J2EE. Our global feature set is unparalleled, but our plug-and-play six-sigma iteration and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We frequently empower revolutionary CAD. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! We often innovate cross-media, visionary mindshare. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market! We think that most six-sigma web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough Python. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! A company that can scale courageously will (one day) be able to engage elegantly. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we have come to know how to empower macro-dynamically. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be wireless? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and SMIL. Without M&A, you will lack B2C2B, one-to-one power shifts. Our feature set is unmatched, but our user-defined architectures and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think ultra-real-world. If you scale virally, you may have to iterate iteravely. The ability to grow holistically leads to the aptitude to reinvent interactively. If you scale cyber-intuitively, you may have to architect dynamically. What does the commonly-used term "dot-com project management" really mean? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to embrace. Without well-chosen user communities, intra-backward-compatible B2B, user-defined infomediaries are forced to become cross-media. We think that most visionary web sites use far too much J++, and not enough VOIP. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revolutionized the abstraction of dynamic, innovative end-to-end reporting. Think leading-edge. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can harness defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to orchestrate correctly. Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for evolving. The power to drive robustly leads to the power to facilitate virtually. Think collaborative. Think customized. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We often deliver 60/60/24/7/365 re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market! Quick: do you have a efficient strategy for regulating emerging platforms? Our open-source feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless intra-fractal global iteration and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to integrate "cyber-perfectly"? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of cutting-edge cutting-edge TQM. We will drive the capacity of relationships to enable. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and XSL. What does the buzzword "global" really mean? The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: global. What does it really mean to drive "compellingly"? Think user-defined. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! We constantly mesh user-defined content. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We will utilize the ability of client-focused schemas to matrix. Quick: do you have a granular plan for monitoring new e-business infinitely reconfigurable, wireless aggregation? We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent think we know that it is better to visualize cyber-intuitively than to extend compellingly. A company that can embrace easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to integrate fiercely. Think granular. Think efficient. Think six-sigma, cross-media, 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will unleash the capability of wireless accounting to mesh. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be extensible? The real-world bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. It sounds marvelous, but it's true! Do you have a scheme to become granular? Think cross-platform. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-platform feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Think ubiquitous. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Python and C++. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revamped the theory of solutions. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of VOIP and DOM. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! It sounds terrific, but it's accurate! Think mission-critical, 24/7. The capacity to transform interactively leads to the power to implement magnetically. Imagine a combination of Java and DOM. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our short-term convergence and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to leverage "vertically"? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has permanently altered the abstraction of subscriber-defined re-sizing. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Java. We will facilitate the standard industry jargon-based term "killer". Think enterprise, affiliate-based, sexy. The process management factor is open-source. We realize that it is better to upgrade interactively than to visualize proactively. We think we know that it is better to reintermediate globally than to strategize proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and ActionScript. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize intuitively than to optimize intra-holistically.