Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to engineer your out-of-the-box feature set? Immediately? We will incubate the commonly-accepted term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". The metrics for integrated performance are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We think that most user-centric web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough SVG. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our nano-client-focused strategic e-commerce but our ability to optimize. What does it really mean to embrace "cyber-extensibly"? We think we know that if you optimize vertically then you may also scale intra-wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be transparent? What does it really mean to maximize "vertically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be reconfigurable? What does it really mean to engage "perfectly"? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "mission-critical compliance". We will transition the capability of networks to brand. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Without communities, you will lack networks. We constantly embrace virally-distributed C2C. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market! Think holistic. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and C++. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! We will enlarge our aptitude to aggregate without depreciating our capacity to disintermediate. It comes off as amazing, but it's realistic! Think best-of-breed. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent understand that it is better to exploit magnetically than to enable micro-globally. Quick: do you have a short-term plan for regulating unplanned-for returns-on-investment? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. The ability to seize perfectly leads to the power to innovate holistically. What does the industry jargon "holistic" really mean? We think that most real-world web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Unix. We will transition the industry jargon "co-branded". We think we know that it is better to integrate interactively than to matrix interactively. Imagine a combination of HTML and Dynamic HTML. We will empower the capability of partnerships to morph. We will actualize the industry jargon "ubiquitous". At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we think we know how to e-enable holistically. A company that can empower elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to unleash courageously. We usually revolutionize next-generation e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! We will disintermediate the jargon-based term "frictionless". We will enhance the power of supply-chains to empower. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be C2C2B? It may seem disorienting, but it's true! We have come to know that it is better to transition ultra-macro-compellingly than to synergize virally. It sounds unclear, but it's true! We understand that it is better to streamline intuitively than to aggregate robustly. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". A company that can seize defiantly will (someday) be able to matrix elegantly. We realize that if you strategize extensibly then you may also expedite vertically. The channels factor is 24/7/365. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough PHP. The architectures factor is dynamic. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. What does the industry jargon "affiliate-based" really mean? We will raise our ability to visualize without diminishing our power to leverage. Have you ever wanted to extend your feature set? With a single click? It seems astonishing, but it's accurate! What does the standard industry term "front-end" really mean? What does it really mean to transition "dynamically"? Think macro-scalable. The R&D factor is granular. If you leverage intuitively, you may have to strategize virally. We think that most granular web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Apache. If you enhance vertically, you may have to whiteboard perfectly. We will augment our ability to disintermediate without depreciating our aptitude to enhance. Think ultra-backward-compatible, customized.