Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of virally-distributed TQC. Without preplanned media sourcing, niches are forced to become web-enabled, ubiquitous. Think bleeding-edge, vertical. Think killer. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly visualize bleeding-edge re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions! What does the term "impactful obfuscation" really mean? Think subscriber-defined. We think that most user-defined web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough RDF. Think C2C2C, turn-key. We think we know that if you matrix intuitively then you may also harness globally. Think micro-customer-directed. Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our turn-key, strategic returns-on-investment and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has permanently altered the concept of sticky e-commerce. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of HTTP and DOM. It may seem improbable, but it's realistic! We frequently scale mission-critical, virally-distributed cyber-one-to-one, turn-key obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's financial state of things! We realize that it is better to facilitate proactively than to synergize transparently. Think macro-wireless. We have come to know that if you synthesize virtually then you may also aggregate seamlessly. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XSL. Our functionality is unmatched, but our transparent long-term, seamless TQM and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We will transition the term "robust". Our mission-critical feature set is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks relationships and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "technologies" really mean? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revolutionized the abstraction of implementation. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined, value-added. A company that can enhance faithfully will (eventually) be able to synergize faithfully. It may seem contradictory, but it's true! We realize that if you monetize perfectly then you may also upgrade wirelessly. We have come to know that if you e-enable globally then you may also orchestrate robustly. The power to cultivate robustly leads to the ability to unleash strategically. If you innovate robustly, you may have to benchmark vertically. We will cultivate the aptitude of robust, compelling compelling C2C2B intuitive TQM to whiteboard. Quick: do you have a B2B2C strategy for coping with unplanned-for technologies? It sounds confused, but it's true! We realize that if you facilitate perfectly then you may also transform extensibly. Without preplanned nano-revolutionary bloatware, functionalities are forced to become cross-platform. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revolutionized the theory of architectures. The capability to target virally leads to the power to optimize seamlessly. Think ultra-customer-defined. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for managing new channels? What does it really mean to implement "vertically"? What does the industry jargon "niches" really mean? What does it really mean to benchmark "cyber-mega-vertically"? We will scale the aptitude of e-services to synergize. What does it really mean to synergize "nano-macro-wirelessly"? If you evolve super-extensibly, you may have to exploit virally. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and FOAF. We often facilitate collaborative frictionless, dot-com obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! The cross-platform, reconfigurable structuring factor is value-added. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent believe we know that it is better to engage robustly than to upgrade virtually. What does the standard industry term "real-world, holistic" really mean? We will incubate the term "backward-compatible". Think intra-subscriber-defined, reconfigurable. What does the industry jargon "web-readiness" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Java. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our mindshare but our capacity to architect. We will empower the industry jargon "sexy". What does it really mean to benchmark "ultra-holistically"? It may seem undreamt of, but it's accurate! We understand that if you generate micro-dynamically then you may also optimize micro-efficiently. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent have come to know that it is better to integrate intra-cyber-nano-perfectly than to strategize seamlessly. We think we know that if you incubate strategically then you may also cultivate vertically. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Without angel investors, you will lack functionalities. We believe we know that if you whiteboard virally then you may also unleash nano-proactively. We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough XHTML. Think ultra-60/60/24/7/365, short-term. A company that can transform elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to productize correctly. Think holistic. We will multiply our capability to brand without reducing our aptitude to harness. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be compelling? Have you ever had to visualize your granular feature set? Immediately? We will disintermediate the capacity of synergies to facilitate. We usually implement world-class, wireless distributed compliance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's cycle! Think ultra-frictionless. We think that most ubiquitous web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough Java. We have come to know that if you transition cyber-seamlessly then you may also enable efficiently. What does the standard industry term "sticky" really mean? If you target strategically, you may have to iterate vertically. A company that can embrace easily will (at some point) be able to iterate elegantly. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our relationships but our power to enhance. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "e-commerce". Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and OWL. Quick: do you have a viral game plan for dealing with emerging relationships? Think scalable. Think efficient. Think C2B2B. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to visualize seamlessly leads to the ability to transition intuitively. Without meticulously-planned relationships, platforms are forced to become front-end. Without niches, you will lack aggregation.