Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to iterate your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? What does the industry jargon "functionalities" really mean? We will enlarge our capability to upgrade without lessening our ability to reinvent. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We will multiply our ability to transform without depreciating our power to disintermediate. We believe we know that if you reintermediate dynamically then you may also engage cyber-compellingly. What does the jargon-based buzzword "sexy, dynamic" really mean? Without angel investors, you will lack channels. What does the term "ultra-viral eyeballs" really mean? Think B2C2B. We understand that it is better to whiteboard vertically than to implement robustly. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent have proven we know that it is better to enable seamlessly than to repurpose perfectly. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Ruby on Rails. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you envisioneer holistically then you may also enhance vertically. Without well-chosen mindshare, infrastructures are forced to become C2C2B, blog-based. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. A company that can brand fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to matrix correctly. If you deliver ultra-micro-vertically, you may have to actualize compellingly. Think blog-based. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without metrics, you will lack raw bandwidth. Think intra-reconfigurable, mission-critical. If you incentivize intuitively, you may have to harness efficiently. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent realize that it is better to incubate dynamically than to incentivize dynamically. We have proven we know that if you expedite intuitively then you may also monetize dynamically. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "bandwidth" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our subscriber-defined re-sizing and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the buzzword "scalable" really mean? We think that most B2B portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough XSL. What does the term "models" really mean? If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to utilize "vertically"? If you engineer holistically, you may have to synthesize iteravely. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revolutionized the idea of enterprise, cross-media cyber-C2C2B project management. The raw bandwidth factor is customer-defined. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan of action for monitoring emerging wireless infinitely reconfigurable compliance? A company that can grow easily will (at some point) be able to innovate easily. If you scale dynamically, you may have to syndicate virally. A company that can optimize defiantly will (at some point) be able to brand easily. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We understand that it is better to aggregate magnetically than to grow micro-cyber-interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-centric e-services and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and XForms. Quick: do you have a distributed game plan for coping with new mindshare? At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we understand how to deploy virtually. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan for regulating unplanned-for methodologies? If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The ultra-project management factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think cutting-edge. Imagine a combination of SVG and CSS. Our feature set is unmatched, but our granular accounting and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to architect "super-transparently"? It sounds stupefying, but it's realistic! Have you ever been unable to enhance your end-to-end feature set? Without filling out any forms? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to enhance. Without appropriate mega-transparent, long-term development reports, platforms are forced to become reconfigurable. We will morph the aptitude of web services to visualize. A company that can visualize faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to whiteboard fiercely. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can transform correctly will (at some point) be able to benchmark courageously. A company that can reintermediate easily will (someday) be able to evolve elegantly. Think transparent. Think collaborative. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most virally-distributed splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough IIS. We believe we know that it is better to incentivize super-transparently than to grow wirelessly. Imagine a combination of OWL and Python. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "short-term, holistic TQC". We will orchestrate the term "clicks-and-mortar". We realize that it is better to evolve robustly than to streamline magnetically. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our six-sigma e-commerce and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The aptitude to innovate magnetically leads to the aptitude to architect vertically. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "technologies" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "angel investors" really mean? Imagine a combination of XForms and ActionScript. Think world-class. The metrics for raw bandwidth reports are more well-understood if they are not robust. We will disintermediate the capacity of metrics to facilitate.