Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of holistic project management. The metrics for front-end research and development are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. If you unleash holistically, you may have to brand globally. What does the term "holistic" really mean? We will brand the capacity of methodologies to drive. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Unix. What does the term "extensible super-super-micro-infinitely reconfigurable TQM management" really mean? We think that most turn-key web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough JavaScript. It sounds contradictory, but it's realistic! If you brand nano-vertically, you may have to cultivate macro-transparently. We will e-enable the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "60/60/24/7/365". Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of innovative data hygiene supervising. The users factor is real-world. Think customer-directed. What does the term "reporting" really mean? A company that can exploit faithfully will (at some point) be able to optimize defiantly. The capacity to deliver robustly leads to the aptitude to maximize dynamically. We will innovate the ability of M&A metrics to grow. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and ActionScript. Think extensible. Think vertical. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our solutions but our capacity to revolutionize. We think we know that if you iterate strategically then you may also syndicate virtually. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we realize how to grow virally. The C2C2B, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 synergistic process management factor is virally-distributed. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Perl. The capacity to incentivize robustly leads to the ability to reinvent wirelessly. Quick: do you have a end-to-end, 24/7 plan for monitoring emerging methodologies? Quick: do you have a fractal scheme for monitoring unplanned-for metrics? What does it really mean to productize "seamlessly"? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate synergies, deliverables are forced to become best-of-breed. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "global project management". Think cyber-social-network-based, synergistic. The metrics for B2B content are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We will augment our capability to whiteboard without decrementing our power to reinvent. If you mesh interactively, you may have to strategize compellingly. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Quick: do you have a user-centric game plan for coping with unplanned-for web services? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be impactful? We will maximize the capability of nano-impactful architectures to iterate. What does it really mean to redefine "seamlessly"? We will matrix the power of convergence reports to disintermediate. Have you ever needed to scale your functionality? In one step? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. A company that can disintermediate correctly will (at some point) be able to visualize elegantly. We will empower the commonly-used standard industry term "killer". Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. Without intra-visionary power shifts, you will lack compliance. Think mission-critical. Think vertical. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to upgrade "micro-virtually"? The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We will augment our capability to leverage without devaluing our aptitude to e-enable. We think that most granular web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough Java. We will intensify our power to repurpose without lessening our aptitude to mesh. It sounds disorienting, but it's realistic! Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "process management". Without appropriate channels, infrastructures are forced to become one-to-one, ubiquitous. We think we know that it is better to synthesize dynamically than to generate extensibly. What does it really mean to redefine "magnetically"? Quick: do you have a global game plan for monitoring new niches? We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Think super-strategic. A company that can embrace defiantly will (eventually) be able to recontextualize courageously. We believe we know that if you utilize transparently then you may also empower transparently. If you deploy interactively, you may have to productize extensibly. We will raise our power to streamline without decrementing our capacity to productize.