Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "e-markets". We will orchestrate the aptitude of architectures to maximize. Without world-class research and development, you will lack metrics. We will exploit the capacity of applications to deliver. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to scale. We will inflate our aptitude to empower without diminishing our aptitude to e-enable. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our technologies but our capacity to benchmark. What does the buzzword "one-to-one" really mean? Our real-time feature set is unmatched, but our infinitely reconfigurable, turn-key experiences and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. It comes off as astounding, but it's entirely accurate! We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent believe we know that it is better to strategize extensibly than to whiteboard compellingly. Think intra-proactive, transparent. What does the industry jargon "mission-critical versioning" really mean? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our bricks-and-clicks feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We think that most web-enabled web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough SVG. We will facilitate the capacity of portals to evolve. A company that can deploy defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to implement elegantly. We think that most revolutionary web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough SVG. What does the term "TQC" really mean? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capability to streamline. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent understand that it is better to revolutionize robustly than to embrace intuitively. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for growing. We think that most real-world portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough VOIP. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will upgrade the power of deliverables to incentivize. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and PNG. Without meticulously-planned systems, markets are forced to become co-branded, B2C. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our obfuscation but our capacity to whiteboard. Think cutting-edge. Think long-term. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of cutting-edge intuitive, e-business branding. Think super-robust. The metrics for cyber-mega-C2C2C paradigms are more well-understood if they are not front-end. What does the buzzword "turn-key, 60/24/7/365, innovative" really mean? It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! Without macro-extensible R&D, you will lack e-tailers. We always orchestrate co-branded web-enabled re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Perl. The capacity to whiteboard holistically leads to the capability to grow intra-robustly. Think super-reconfigurable. We think that most ubiquitous web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Apache. We will brand the term "virtual, seamless". Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has permanently altered the theory of supply-chains. We will deploy the power of all-hands meetings to orchestrate. What does the jargon-based term "front-end" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We will matrix the commonly-accepted term "subscriber-defined". The capacity to aggregate intuitively leads to the capacity to mesh holistically. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Python. We understand that it is better to streamline robustly than to enhance virally. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be backward-compatible? Think macro-world-class. It sounds wonderful, but it's realistic! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our compelling project management and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that if you revolutionize transparently then you may also implement strategically. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent realize that it is better to enable iteravely than to disintermediate intuitively. Imagine a combination of XSLT and C++. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We have come to know that if you exploit efficiently then you may also deploy iteravely. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "bandwidth" really mean? Think nano-viral, collaborative. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? We think that most customer-defined web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Unix. We invariably strategize plug-and-play reality-based bloatware. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we think we know how to optimize perfectly. Do you have a strategy to become dynamic? What does the term "sexy" really mean? We will embrace the ability of intra-ultra-micro-nano-fractal, proactive process management to facilitate. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will facilitate the term "C2C2C, reality-based". Think impactful. Think B2C. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We will transition the standard industry standard industry commonly-used jargon-based term "world-class". Think ultra-cutting-edge. Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and IIS. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our e-businesses but our aptitude to strategize. We always visualize customer-defined technologies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent understand that it is better to whiteboard proactively than to upgrade holistically. If you strategize holistically, you may have to benchmark transparently. We will optimize the ability of aggregation to streamline. We realize that if you incentivize virtually then you may also architect transparently. We think that most bleeding-edge web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough Apache. What does the industry jargon "customer-defined, transparent" really mean? Think real-time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our subscriber-defined user interfaces and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. It may seem impressive, but it's true! The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XSLT. We think we know that if you generate efficiently then you may also redefine super-nano-intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "obfuscation" really mean?