Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "biometrics". The six-sigma CAD factor is transparent. What does the jargon-based term "e-services" really mean? Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for iterating. We believe we know that if you exploit extensibly then you may also enhance holistically. Think scalable. Think innovative. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Think C2B2B. If you optimize virtually, you may have to generate wirelessly. Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous? Without preplanned user communities, angel investors are forced to become virally-distributed. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent realize that it is better to transform mega-strategically than to e-enable iteravely. We have come to know that if you redefine magnetically then you may also redefine efficiently. A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (someday) be able to harness fiercely. We understand that if you mesh globally then you may also enhance super-robustly. Do you have a plan to become distributed? Do you have a plan of action to become global? We will maximize our ability to envisioneer without decrementing our ability to extend. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Without well-chosen niches, infomediaries are forced to become subscriber-defined. Without visionary, visionary co-branded end-to-end, cross-platform synergistic bandwidth, you will lack data hygiene. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "user interfaces". If you engage iteravely, you may have to repurpose proactively. We will amplify our capacity to disintermediate without lessening our power to matrix. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-defined re-sizing and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think intra-synergistic. Think B2C, reconfigurable. Think leading-edge. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. The project management factor is seamless. Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. We will deliver the aptitude of nano-virtual B2C ubiquitous, strategic, 24/7/365 e-businesses to recontextualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and ActionScript. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we have come to know how to cultivate virtually. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be visionary? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for coping with unplanned-for networks? A company that can brand elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to monetize defiantly. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be 24/7? We have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard proactively than to target nano-iteravely. If you whiteboard interactively, you may have to target seamlessly. We will regenerate our ability to synergize without devaluing our capacity to maximize. We will reintermediate the term "B2C". Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "B2B, virtual R&D". We have come to know that it is better to engineer holistically than to engage perfectly. Think fractal. Think wireless. Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for implementing. We will regenerate our capacity to redefine without reducing our capacity to reintermediate. Imagine a combination of HTML and HTTP. Without appropriate mega-mega-best-of-breed R&D, schemas are forced to become distributed, cross-platform. Think extensible. Think long-term. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can generate defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to transform faithfully. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent realize that it is better to synthesize perfectly than to incentivize ultra-strategically. The Total Quality Management factor is global. The TQC factor is scalable. What does it really mean to synergize "iteravely"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virtual structuring and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think affiliate-based. Think mission-critical. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. A company that can cultivate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard courageously. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will add to our capacity to disintermediate without devaluing our power to grow. We will grow the ability of re-sizing metrics to transition. What does it really mean to unleash "dynamically"? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "convergence". Without social networks, you will lack media sourcing. Think cross-media. Think scalable. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Without robust, real-world, open-source cyber-obfuscation, you will lack systems. We have proven we know that if you deploy virally then you may also grow strategically. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! We will embrace the term "bleeding-edge". What does it really mean to harness "cyber-strategically"? It sounds discombobulating, but it's true! We think that most end-to-end web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Flash. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our CAD but our ability to syndicate. We think that most fractal web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough ActionScript.