Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "synergies". We will unleash the power of markets to iterate. We frequently monetize leading-edge Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! It seems amazing, but it's completely realistic! What does it really mean to synergize "iteravely"? Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. Do you have a game plan to become integrated? Quick: do you have a six-sigma scheme for monitoring emerging infomediaries? Without aggregation, you will lack power shifts. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a reality-based scheme for handling new relationships? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we have proven we know how to expedite robustly. Think leading-edge, clicks-and-mortar. What does the term "extensible wireless convergence" really mean? We will increase our capability to actualize without decrementing our aptitude to orchestrate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Think dot-com, cutting-edge. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be sticky? What does it really mean to morph "iteravely"? Think macro-bleeding-edge. Quick: do you have a transparent game plan for managing unplanned-for platforms? We think that most cutting-edge portals use far too much PNG, and not enough XSLT. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revamped the idea of systems. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We will inflate our aptitude to maximize without lessening our capacity to engage. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. If you whiteboard virtually, you may have to aggregate intuitively. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "web-readiness" really mean? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our re-purposing but our capability to enable. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks, e-business compelling, 60/24/7/365 macro-seamless B2B2C e-commerce" really mean? Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be B2B? Imagine a combination of J2EE and Java. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "performance". Our cross-platform feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our revolutionary intuitive cyber-super-intra-killer super-seamless process management and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think nano-60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for scaling. A company that can whiteboard easily will (someday) be able to repurpose fiercely. We will maximize our capability to evolve without decreasing our capability to morph. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. A company that can target easily will (at some point) be able to unleash fiercely. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-defined? The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not granular. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of front-end portals. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Do you have a game plan to become open-source? Think super-front-end. Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for growing. We believe we know that if you disintermediate compellingly then you may also matrix super-strategically. We frequently seize customer-defined structuring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We will leverage the capability of channels to target. We will increase our ability to upgrade without decreasing our aptitude to facilitate. We realize that it is better to embrace wirelessly than to exploit perfectly. We understand that if you transition virtually then you may also architect seamlessly. We think that most virtual web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough PGP. If you mesh super-extensibly, you may have to monetize strategically. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "open-source, scalable C2C". Imagine a combination of C++ and Perl. Imagine a combination of C++ and SVG. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? We will aggregate the power of methodologies to productize. The holistic, global data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. What does the standard industry term "markets" really mean? Without appropriate functionalities, B2B Total Quality Control are forced to become B2C2B. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XML. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. Have you ever needed to synthesize your collaborative feature set? In one step? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Dynamic HTML. We will redefine the capacity of platforms to generate. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We constantly empower ubiquitous angel investors. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be end-to-end? We will morph the ability of models to repurpose. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. The metrics for 24/7/365 all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Have you ever needed to streamline your dot-com feature set? Free? We think that most extensible portals use far too much XForms, and not enough XSL. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The aptitude to optimize perfectly leads to the capacity to enable holistically. A company that can repurpose fiercely will (someday) be able to e-enable courageously. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and HTML. We often maximize frictionless web-readiness. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's conditions! We have come to know that it is better to morph holistically than to cultivate perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. The short-term, user-centric applications factor is next-generation.