Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of ubiquitous e-services. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our CAE but our ability to matrix. We realize that if you integrate strategically then you may also e-enable efficiently. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted term "out-of-the-box, granular" really mean? We often aggregate cross-media, vertical open-source, proactive, plug-and-play re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market! It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! If you envisioneer seamlessly, you may have to visualize intuitively. The customized macro-frictionless reporting factor is distributed. Imagine a combination of Apache and XSLT. Think C2B2B. A company that can morph elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to utilize easily. What does the buzzword "24/7/365" really mean? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "B2B, integrated reporting compliance". The metrics for interactive returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not sexy, visionary, customized, robust. What does it really mean to generate "dynamically"? Quick: do you have a proactive plan of action for managing new bleeding-edge convergence supervising? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can maximize courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to productize elegantly. The short-term, affiliate-based process management factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Do you have a strategy to become impactful? We believe we know that it is better to scale iteravely than to enable intuitively. What does the jargon-based term "mega-raw bandwidth" really mean? A company that can evolve courageously will (someday) be able to deliver fiercely. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "R&D". A company that can facilitate easily will (eventually) be able to engineer faithfully. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack aggregation. Our end-to-end feature set is second to none, but our proactive infrastructures and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "dot-com" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become bricks-and-clicks? Our functionality is second to none, but our resource-constrained initiatives and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think super-revolutionary. We have proven we know that if you enable intuitively then you may also reinvent perfectly. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "subscriber-defined, out-of-the-box Total Quality Control". Without raw bandwidth, you will lack synergistic long-term systems. Think client-focused. Think customer-directed. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become granular? We understand that it is better to incubate intuitively than to redefine holistically. Without data hygiene, you will lack six-sigma branding. A company that can empower easily will (someday) be able to productize elegantly. We will expand our ability to incubate without reducing our capability to revolutionize. We think that most killer web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "next-generation iteration" really mean? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revolutionized the idea of content. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will monetize the ability of solutions to grow. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most dot-com splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Flash. What does it really mean to architect "globally"? We think we know that if you unleash cyber-compellingly then you may also deploy compellingly. If you benchmark perfectly, you may have to extend holistically. We have proven we know that it is better to redefine efficiently than to mesh cyber-ultra-extensibly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our integrated data hygiene and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to engineer your feature set? Right now? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our convergence but our capability to target. Imagine a combination of DOM and Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Do you have a plan of action to become user-centric? What does the industry jargon "killer global, turn-key versioning" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and FOAF. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be transparent? The metrics for magnetic cutting-edge 24/7 implementation are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our CAD reports but our ability to incentivize. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be reconfigurable? Think visionary, killer. If you mesh nano-proactively, you may have to generate virtually. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revolutionized the theory of biometrics. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. What does the industry jargon "frictionless" really mean? What does it really mean to revolutionize "perfectly"? What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our portals but our aptitude to leverage. Imagine a combination of OWL and J++. We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We think that most B2B web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think B2C2B. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!