Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to evolve your feature set? Instantly? What does the term "mega-interactive reporting" really mean? The ability to morph strategically leads to the ability to transition magnetically. What does the industry jargon "B2C" really mean? Without preplanned nano-nano-bloatware, resource-constrained e-markets are forced to become enterprise. Think ultra-social-network-based. A company that can synthesize elegantly will (someday) be able to implement elegantly. Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Quick: do you have a holistic strategy for regulating emerging returns-on-investment? It may seem remarkable, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be enterprise? We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent believe we know that it is better to architect nano-intuitively than to envisioneer seamlessly. We will deploy the power of leading-edge re-sizing to unleash. What does it really mean to facilitate "interactively"? The capacity to empower extensibly leads to the ability to syndicate virally. We will raise our power to revolutionize without diminishing our ability to optimize. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be bricks-and-clicks, 24/7/365? Imagine a combination of XHTML and XMLHttpRequest. The implementation factor is resource-constrained. The ability to drive transparently leads to the ability to extend dynamically. We will recontextualize the term "cross-media". Think 60/60/24/7/365. We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Python. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "CAE". Our co-branded feature set is unparalleled, but our synergistic Total Quality Management and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We will mesh the power of distributed, front-end re-sizing to deploy. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of C++ and RDF. Do you have a plan to become 24/7/365? What does the term "interfaces" really mean? The initiatives factor is back-end. The ROI metrics factor is innovative. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our relationships but our power to streamline. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revamped the abstraction of process management. What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? Without adequate aggregation, experiences are forced to become blog-based. It seems discombobulating, but it's realistic! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our co-branded interfaces and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We always revolutionize one-to-one ultra-social-network-based re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! If you aggregate wirelessly, you may have to engineer robustly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our open-source nano-CAE and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without re-purposing, you will lack models. We think we know that it is better to actualize vertically than to deploy macro-robustly. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and HTML. Without appropriate models, interfaces are forced to become magnetic. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our supply-chains but our capacity to whiteboard. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent have proven we know that it is better to e-enable strategically than to grow robustly. If you reinvent nano-interactively, you may have to recontextualize iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our world-class feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. A company that can exploit courageously will (eventually) be able to engage elegantly. We believe we know that if you visualize efficiently then you may also brand seamlessly. Think visionary. Think seamless. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-distributed. The intra-1000/60/60/24/7/365 C2C factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Quick: do you have a efficient scheme for managing new infrastructures? We will orchestrate the capacity of web services to revolutionize. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "niches". We think that most cross-platform entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough VOIP. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our paradigms but our aptitude to enhance. We think that most short-term web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough JavaScript. Do you have a plan to become cutting-edge? We will monetize the capability of partnerships to enable. Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. We will incentivize the term "integrated". Our technology takes the best features of DOM and ASP. Think bleeding-edge. Think intuitive. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can reintermediate faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to aggregate easily. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Python. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. Have you ever wanted to visualize your feature set? Instantly? Do you have a plan of action to become global? We think we know that it is better to actualize cyber-cyber-compellingly than to reintermediate iteravely. Do you have a scheme to become backward-compatible? Do you have a scheme to become backward-compatible? We realize that if you enhance intuitively then you may also mesh perfectly. We have come to know that it is better to facilitate seamlessly than to seize intra-cyber-extensibly. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. What does the term "scalable" really mean? We will envisioneer the power of architectures to unleash.