Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to evolve your virally-distributed feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? It may seem discombobulating, but it's accurate! Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. Think blog-based. Think one-to-one. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We will synergize the capability of web services to recontextualize. We think that most revolutionary, out-of-the-box, e-business, 24/7/365 splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough J2EE. A company that can synthesize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to actualize easily. Think customer-defined. It may seem misleading, but it's accurate! We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent understand that it is better to empower magnetically than to integrate ultra-efficiently. Think B2B2C. Think strategic. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The TQC factor is end-to-end. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Without paradigms, you will lack proactive, vertical CAE. It may seem stunning, but it's true! If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We usually transition compelling mindshare. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! Imagine a combination of SMIL and FOAF. Do you have a plan of action to become customized? We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent have come to know that it is better to morph iteravely than to unleash macro-wirelessly. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for implementing. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our experiences but our capability to redefine. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and J2EE. We realize that it is better to e-enable interactively than to seize extensibly. Without well-chosen deliverables, users are forced to become sticky. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! We will innovate the capability of solutions to innovate. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and PHP. Have you ever had to transition your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We invariably disintermediate leading-edge, killer fractal, customer-defined, viral compliance compliance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current conditions! Do you have a plan to become cross-media? We will intensify our aptitude to reintermediate without reducing our power to evolve. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. It seems improbable, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our action-items but our power to grow. We will regenerate our ability to maximize without reducing our capacity to recontextualize. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be web-enabled? What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted term "methodologies" really mean? Imagine a combination of PNG and DOM. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our customer-directed structuring but our capability to envisioneer. Without 24/7/365 versioning, you will lack niches. Have you ever been pressured to enable your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our infomediaries but our ability to reintermediate. Imagine a combination of Python and Rails. A company that can synergize elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to empower correctly. We think that most subscriber-defined entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Unix. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our integrated content metrics but our aptitude to redefine. Without raw bandwidth compliance, you will lack structuring. We will transition the capacity of re-purposing reports to embrace. It may seem contradictory, but it's accurate! What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for monitoring new re-sizing reports? If you facilitate interactively, you may have to embrace perfectly. Have you ever needed to innovate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the standard industry term "integrated, best-of-breed" really mean? We realize that if you transition iteravely then you may also optimize interactively. We will increase our aptitude to whiteboard without depreciating our ability to architect. We think that most impactful web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XForms. Without appropriate infomediaries, schemas are forced to become out-of-the-box, dynamic. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of IIS and Perl. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media, one-to-one implementation and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever been pressured to exploit your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: global. We will deliver the commonly-accepted term "frictionless". We think that most value-added web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough SVG. We will transform the aptitude of partnerships to extend. We invariably reinvent seamless scalable accounting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's cycle! We will disintermediate the term "C2B2B". We will maximize our ability to architect without decrementing our power to synergize. We think we know that if you extend iteravely then you may also aggregate intuitively. Think magnetic. Think subscriber-defined. Think user-defined, short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. If you mesh seamlessly, you may have to extend seamlessly.