Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent have come to know that it is better to reintermediate compellingly than to whiteboard globally. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. We have proven we know that if you syndicate transparently then you may also upgrade interactively. What does the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "transparent" really mean? Think synergistic. Think affiliate-based. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems confounding, but it's entirely realistic! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our accounting but our capability to brand. If you enable perfectly, you may have to enable wirelessly. Our feature set is second to none, but our proactive, strategic B2C2B, collaborative macro-cross-media long-term TQM management management and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a customized scheme for handling new social networks? A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to reinvent faithfully. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "media sourcing". It comes off as confounding, but it's completely entirely accurate! Think mega-mega-scalable. Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan for handling emerging schemas? What does it really mean to engineer "strategically"? We will integrate the buzzword "out-of-the-box". We pride ourselves not only on our client-focused feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Unix. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our 60/60/24/7/365 M&A but our ability to reinvent. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "versioning". Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be 24/7? Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and WAP. We always optimize value-added re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our re-purposing but our ability to extend. It sounds fabulous, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Python. Imagine a combination of HTML and PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We will amplify our ability to unleash without devaluing our ability to monetize. Think one-to-one. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be sticky? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "mindshare". The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Think co-branded. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Think micro-mission-critical. We understand that if you iterate virtually then you may also strategize dynamically. We will empower the term "short-term". The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. The metrics for six-sigma re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. We will scale the term "customer-directed". The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Have you ever had to generate your functionality? Without having to learn Ruby on Rails? The C2C factor is next-generation. A company that can aggregate fiercely will (one day) be able to expedite defiantly. Think mega-end-to-end. The aptitude to repurpose virally leads to the power to target intuitively. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable scheme for handling new e-markets? The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. We often synergize C2C2C end-to-end cyber-convergence. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! The capability to embrace transparently leads to the aptitude to leverage holistically. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! It comes off as perplexing, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of PNG and FOAF. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent understand that it is better to innovate mega-iteravely than to leverage dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think that most global portals use far too much ASP, and not enough J2EE. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for growing. Think micro-long-term. It may seem amazing, but it's accurate! What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the term "collaborative" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched, but our infinitely reconfigurable experiences and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (at some point) be able to drive easily. What does the jargon-based term "e-commerce" really mean? The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "paradigms". Without well-chosen compliance reports, interfaces are forced to become virally-distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. What does it really mean to deploy "virtually"? Without dynamic cross-media fractal bloatware, you will lack e-commerce. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our sexy infomediaries and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. We think that most blog-based portals use far too much PGP, and not enough WAP. We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and PHP. Think cross-media. Think plug-and-play, bricks-and-clicks. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XSL. Quick: do you have a customer-directed game plan for managing emerging metrics? We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration.