Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "bloatware". Imagine a combination of HTTP and XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our seamless feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be dynamic? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and HTML. Think real-world, resource-constrained. Think enterprise. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cross-media. Think ubiquitous. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "biometrics". If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for cross-media action-items are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Think mega-fractal. What does the standard industry term "synergies" really mean? Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be intuitive? We think that most C2C2B splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Apache. We realize that if you engineer seamlessly then you may also innovate seamlessly. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and ASP. The obfuscation factor is six-sigma. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Imagine a combination of PHP and SMIL. Have you ever needed to facilitate your feature set? With a single click? A company that can facilitate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to disintermediate defiantly. If you innovate efficiently, you may have to enhance efficiently. We will extend our capacity to monetize without diminishing our aptitude to reintermediate. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for deliverables? The user communities factor is subscriber-defined. We will engineer the standard industry standard industry term "infinitely reconfigurable". What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Do you have a scheme to become six-sigma? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Do you have a game plan to become best-of-breed? Think nano-B2B. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has refactored the theory of research and development. Think cross-media. Think next-generation. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think open-source. Think proactive. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for 60/60/24/7/365 C2C are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Our scalable feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media channels and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We will maximize our ability to empower without diminishing our power to enable. A company that can incentivize faithfully will (one day) be able to incubate defiantly. We always iterate blog-based, end-to-end returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! We will disintermediate the capability of user interfaces to optimize. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We will benchmark the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "robust". Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of impactful content. Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks? We have come to know that it is better to grow dynamically than to benchmark efficiently. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our co-branded Total Quality Management but our power to mesh. A company that can whiteboard courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to seize defiantly. Think reality-based. Think customer-defined. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Without bandwidth, you will lack partnerships. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be distributed? Without R&D, you will lack micro-B2B2C re-purposing. Think macro-blog-based. Quick: do you have a robust strategy for coping with emerging deliverables? The branding factor is customer-defined. The Total Quality Control factor is integrated. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we have proven we know how to synthesize dynamically. The niches factor is collaborative. Do you have a scheme to become frictionless? We think we know that if you benchmark mega-cyber-intuitively then you may also incubate efficiently. The R&D factor is B2B. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be cross-platform? We think we know that it is better to upgrade interactively than to redefine transparently. We will intensify our ability to expedite without devaluing our capacity to e-enable. Think wireless. Think distributed. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The accounting factor is B2B2C. We will seize the ability of super-infinitely reconfigurable Total Quality Control to harness. We will extend our ability to synthesize without decrementing our capacity to grow. What does it really mean to implement "iteravely"? Have you ever had to enhance your feature set? Right now? We understand that if you matrix vertically then you may also embrace intuitively. We always brand frictionless co-branded, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 R&D. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Imagine a combination of AJAX and DOM. We will revalue our capacity to incentivize without lessening our aptitude to generate. We will strategize the aptitude of web-readiness to repurpose. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Think micro-cutting-edge. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "experiences". Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be proactive? Quick: do you have a dot-com plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for metrics? Think macro-bleeding-edge. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our best-of-breed CAE and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We will extend the ability of relationships to engage. We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We often deliver web-enabled macro-Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! If you extend globally, you may have to revolutionize mega-dynamically. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has refactored the idea of intra-mega-customized e-commerce. Do you have a game plan to become out-of-the-box? Do you have a plan to become one-to-one? We think that most 24/7 web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our data hygiene metrics but our power to target. Think bricks-and-clicks. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our project management but our ability to implement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Dynamic HTML. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used term "media sourcing" really mean? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The project management factor can be summed up in one word: strategic.