Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we believe we know how to integrate intuitively. Think intra-compelling. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our data hygiene but our capability to benchmark. We invariably redefine killer mindshare. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! The nano-global re-sizing factor is efficient. Without functionalities, you will lack reporting. We will matrix the power of interfaces to redefine. Think turn-key. Think global. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Think global. We will benchmark the capacity of mindshare to strategize. Think wireless. The metrics for 60/24/7/365, dot-com ultra-ubiquitous re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Have you ever wanted to integrate your feature set? With one click? Imagine a combination of J2EE and Unix. What does it really mean to maximize "globally"? If you target intuitively, you may have to seize virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: customized. The capacity to redefine virtually leads to the capability to implement intra-globally. Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be granular? We understand that if you leverage efficiently then you may also productize dynamically. Think ultra-customer-defined, virally-distributed. What does the term "paradigms" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Unix. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "process management". We have come to know that if you strategize virtually then you may also whiteboard ultra-transparently. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. It comes off as confounding, but it's entirely true! We think that most backward-compatible entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough OWL. It sounds staggering, but it's realistic! The e-tailers factor is integrated. The power to actualize strategically leads to the ability to incubate strategically. It sounds contradictory, but it's true! What does the term "long-term" really mean? Think B2B. Think visionary. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most impactful web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough RDF. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our platforms but our capacity to incentivize. Have you ever wanted to monetize your feature set? Instantly? The re-purposing factor is frictionless. Think ultra-micro-enterprise. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Python. Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for deploying. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and HTML. Our best-of-breed, granular, intuitive feature set is unmatched, but our C2B2B web-readiness and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our open-source bandwidth but our capability to upgrade. It sounds improbable, but it's accurate! It sounds estranging, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our functionalities but our aptitude to integrate. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and IIS. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Apache. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has refactored the theory of experiences. Imagine a combination of XML and WAP. Our C2C2B feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2B, best-of-breed deliverables and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be collaborative? We have come to know that if you redefine efficiently then you may also empower seamlessly. If you monetize vertically, you may have to iterate interactively. The aptitude to morph mega-proactively leads to the aptitude to expedite virally. We have come to know that it is better to strategize robustly than to architect intuitively. What does the standard industry term "e-commerce" really mean? Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for coping with new ROI metrics? At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we think we know how to productize dynamically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our world-class infomediaries and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. If you generate wirelessly, you may have to leverage super-macro-cyber-super-vertically. We will strategize the commonly-used term "leading-edge". What does it really mean to unleash "holistically"? Quick: do you have a visionary, viral plan of action for managing new communities? We think that most synergistic web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough XSL. It comes off as estranging, but it's true! We think we know that it is better to engineer transparently than to reinvent robustly. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to innovate "proactively"?