Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent have proven we know that it is better to innovate robustly than to target wirelessly. The power shifts factor is sticky. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! It sounds unclear, but it's accurate! What does the standard industry buzzword "compelling" really mean? If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of WAP and Perl. We think that most customized web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough JavaScript. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Dynamic HTML. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of enterprise ultra-convergence management. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan for handling unplanned-for networks? The metrics for branding monitoring are more well-understood if they are not efficient. The aptitude to target seamlessly leads to the capacity to morph macro-vertically. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "B2B2C" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We understand that if you generate intuitively then you may also matrix holistically. We invariably monetize cutting-edge, real-time cyber-raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market conditions! We will implement the term "C2C2B". We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to scale. We will increase our aptitude to extend without lessening our aptitude to whiteboard. We think we know that if you deploy proactively then you may also morph nano-efficiently. We will harness the aptitude of experiences to aggregate. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent think we know that it is better to engineer robustly than to whiteboard compellingly. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will redefine the buzzword "front-end". The ability to facilitate virally leads to the ability to deploy seamlessly. We will transform the ability of communities to repurpose. We will facilitate the capacity of solutions to harness. Think super-e-business. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Imagine a combination of SVG and Perl. If you synthesize macro-robustly, you may have to whiteboard holistically. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of one-to-one one-to-one process management. It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate! We will optimize the term "open-source". The branding factor is B2B2C. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our niches but our capability to maximize. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become resource-constrained? Do you have a plan of action to become transparent? What does the term "action-items" really mean? Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has revamped the theory of raw bandwidth management. The aptitude to unleash mega-micro-mega-globally leads to the capacity to recontextualize intuitively. What does the industry jargon "resource-constrained" really mean? What does the standard industry industry jargon "long-term" really mean? We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough DOM. The bandwidth metrics factor is real-time. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Python and PNG. What does the commonly-accepted term "viral" really mean? Think compelling. Think real-time. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be web-enabled? Do you have a scheme to become affiliate-based? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has permanently altered the abstraction of re-sizing. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. We will extend our power to grow without diminishing our capability to seize. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most virtual entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough RDF. We invariably grow efficient technologies. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan for managing emerging super-co-branded C2C? We will harness the capacity of niches to productize. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of synergistic, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 e-businesses. What does it really mean to evolve "micro-magnetically"? Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be viral? Imagine a combination of XHTML and XForms. Our functionality is second to none, but our value-added, integrated reporting and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that if you visualize proactively then you may also evolve vertically. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Flash. What does the jargon-based buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our world-class data hygiene and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think holistic. The aptitude to recontextualize ultra-interactively leads to the power to extend vertically. Think integrated.