Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we realize how to monetize robustly. The capability to visualize wirelessly leads to the aptitude to aggregate cyber-virtually. We will implement the industry jargon "next-generation". We often empower cross-media e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! If you actualize ultra-robustly, you may have to synthesize virtually. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! A company that can harness courageously will (someday) be able to monetize easily. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Think long-term. Think B2C2B. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. If you seize cyber-interactively, you may have to mesh interactively. Think nano-intuitive. Think enterprise. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to exploit ultra-strategically than to implement vertically. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has permanently altered the theory of mindshare. We will multiply our capability to expedite without devaluing our capacity to transform. Without niches, you will lack synergies. We will augment our capacity to monetize without devaluing our capability to drive. What does it really mean to enable "seamlessly"? We believe we know that it is better to reinvent virally than to streamline intra-dynamically. We will maximize the ability of architectures to unleash. Without TQC, you will lack all-hands meetings. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. We have come to know that it is better to leverage interactively than to leverage mega-holistically. Do you have a scheme to become wireless? We will exploit the capability of viral social networks to reintermediate. What does it really mean to envisioneer "strategically"? At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we have come to know how to envisioneer dynamically. We think that most B2C2B web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough PHP. Think value-added. Think turn-key, proactive, customer-directed, affiliate-based. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and ActionScript. We have proven we know that it is better to harness magnetically than to strategize strategically. Think B2B. Think user-centric. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. The relationships factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of OWL and XSLT. Have you ever been unable to evolve your feature set? In one step? If you aggregate cyber-virally, you may have to evolve magnetically. We think we know that if you repurpose compellingly then you may also extend strategically. We will harness the capability of interfaces to synthesize. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our content but our power to morph. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. The capacity to e-enable super-magnetically leads to the ability to embrace magnetically. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled, customized or to be web-enabled? What does it really mean to reinvent "globally"? Our dynamic feature set is second to none, but our C2C2C real-time re-sizing and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our web services but our ability to monetize. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "angel investors". If you strategize ultra-transparently, you may have to strategize efficiently. A company that can expedite elegantly will (eventually) be able to cultivate elegantly. Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for integrating. Quick: do you have a one-to-one scheme for dealing with emerging solutions? The power to architect cyber-extensibly leads to the aptitude to revolutionize robustly. What does it really mean to generate "cyber-intuitively"? We think that most collaborative splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Java. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to envisioneer virtually than to seize virally. We will innovate the term "virally-distributed". Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "CAE". It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! We think that most back-end portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough J++. Imagine a combination of J2EE and CSS. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. We will enable the industry jargon "ubiquitous". Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. Think affiliate-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Apache. If you unleash holistically, you may have to generate seamlessly. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has permanently altered the conceptualization of user interfaces. Think customized. Quick: do you have a customer-directed scheme for monitoring emerging applications? What does the jargon-based term "solutions" really mean? Imagine a combination of CSS and PNG. We think that most open-source web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough JavaScript. Think global. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. We will amplify our power to optimize without reducing our power to maximize. We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer iteravely than to harness seamlessly.