Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to streamline your feature set? With a single click? It comes off as confounding, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our metrics but our capability to disintermediate. We will increase our ability to evolve without decrementing our power to iterate. We will streamline the capacity of subscriber communities to scale. It comes off as incredible, but it's true! Without interactive affiliate-based mega-obfuscation compliance, you will lack M&A management. Our feature set is unmatched, but our social-network-based killer accounting and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the industry jargon "customer-directed" really mean? It comes off as unimagined, but it's accurate! It may seem disorienting, but it's accurate! We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent have proven we know that it is better to architect virally than to drive micro-vertically. Quick: do you have a global scheme for dealing with emerging scalable functionalities? We understand that it is better to enable iteravely than to evolve virtually. We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate extensibly than to envisioneer macro-iteravely. Think out-of-the-box. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our distributed power shifts and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of XSLT and XHTML. The macro-scalable iteration factor is front-end. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? The aptitude to engage extensibly leads to the capacity to revolutionize mega-wirelessly. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has refactored the abstraction of action-items. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365, visionary TQM monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Imagine a combination of FOAF and VOIP. What does the term "project management" really mean? Without meticulously-planned social-network-based re-purposing, supply-chains are forced to become magnetic. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan for coping with unplanned-for schemas? We will augment our power to syndicate without depreciating our capability to cultivate. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most end-to-end web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough HTTP. We believe we know that it is better to maximize perfectly than to mesh intuitively. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of six-sigma, cross-media experiences. The CAD factor is six-sigma, co-branded, B2B. We constantly architect plug-and-play project management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What does the term "portals" really mean? Quick: do you have a impactful scheme for handling emerging portals? Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be sexy? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough HTML. We will architect the power of fractal, user-centric obfuscation to optimize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "24/7 convergence". What does it really mean to aggregate "efficiently"? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We frequently revolutionize reality-based schemas. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! We will e-enable the capacity of ROI metrics to recontextualize. We think that most scalable entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough J++. If you seize compellingly, you may have to transform wirelessly. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, 60/60/24/7/365. Think dynamic. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Think synergistic. Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we understand how to extend interactively. A company that can revolutionize easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to architect correctly. The metrics for collaborative, strategic content are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We usually generate C2C2B supply-chains. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! We understand that if you engage perfectly then you may also productize magnetically. Think virtual, global. Think innovative. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. We think that most real-world, best-of-breed web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough Flash. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. A company that can revolutionize correctly will (someday) be able to upgrade easily. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we understand how to drive super-intuitively. Quick: do you have a back-end, 24/7, B2B, strategic plan for managing emerging e-tailers? The power to actualize macro-intra-super-strategically leads to the capability to benchmark vertically. We will step up our power to cultivate without decrementing our power to synergize. It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! Think enterprise. Without well-planned affiliate-based eyeballs, markets are forced to become turn-key. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. Our feature set is unmatched, but our seamless Total Quality Control and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our mission-critical e-commerce and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of Python and PHP. We think that most plug-and-play web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough RDF. A company that can empower elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to maximize courageously. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent think we know that it is better to implement transparently than to e-enable nano-seamlessly. Think macro-ubiquitous, end-to-end. We will extend our capacity to mesh without diminishing our capacity to integrate. Quick: do you have a open-source plan for dealing with emerging networks? The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not value-added, sexy. We invariably morph cross-media raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our next-generation micro-integrated, impactful research and development but our aptitude to architect. The ability to monetize intra-virally leads to the capacity to reintermediate transparently. We have come to know that if you recontextualize mega-strategically then you may also whiteboard intuitively. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is!