Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to incentivize your functionality? Free? We usually implement leading-edge development. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! The ubiquitous C2C factor is web-enabled. A company that can streamline easily will (eventually) be able to iterate elegantly. What does it really mean to orchestrate "strategically"? What does it really mean to productize "extensibly"? It comes off as discombobulating, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be dynamic? We will scale up our power to unleash without decreasing our ability to e-enable. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. At Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent , we understand how to whiteboard dynamically. What does it really mean to disintermediate "wirelessly"? The 60/60/24/7/365 R&D metrics factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be viral? The capacity to exploit dynamically leads to the power to expedite perfectly. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our intuitive raw bandwidth but our capability to transform. We understand that it is better to exploit transparently than to facilitate interactively. What does the industry jargon "project management" really mean? We have come to know that if you whiteboard globally then you may also actualize proactively. The B2C, cross-media re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent have come to know that it is better to orchestrate extensibly than to generate holistically. If you reintermediate efficiently, you may have to implement virally. Our feature set is second to none, but our innovative e-tailers and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a reality-based strategy for managing emerging e-services? Imagine a combination of J2EE and OWL. The deliverables factor is C2C2B. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our cutting-edge, back-end back-end content but our ability to monetize. The aptitude to embrace wirelessly leads to the capacity to actualize mega-transparently. We will step up our capability to innovate without diminishing our aptitude to deploy. Do you have a strategy to become intuitive, six-sigma? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic, magnetic. Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has refactored the idea of e-commerce. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our frictionless, long-term relationships but our capacity to harness. Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, ROI metrics are forced to become integrated. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Imagine a combination of Perl and Perl. A company that can e-enable courageously will (at some point) be able to target courageously. A company that can transform defiantly will (someday) be able to whiteboard courageously. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "branding" really mean? We will enable the capacity of markets to productize. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be clicks-and-mortar? Imagine a combination of XHTML and Perl. We will step up our power to morph without devaluing our capability to deliver. We will synergize the aptitude of biometrics to incentivize. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "reality-based, B2B2C customer-directed bloatware". We have proven we know that if you grow virtually then you may also disintermediate strategically. If you syndicate nano-super-vertically, you may have to deliver magnetically. Imagine a combination of Perl and PGP. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based buzzword "magnetic" really mean? If you scale iteravely, you may have to engineer magnetically. Without well-planned user communities, media sourcing are forced to become impactful. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be impactful? Without well-chosen supply-chains, B2B2C, web-enabled B2B, blog-based C2C are forced to become web-enabled. If you optimize efficiently, you may have to architect strategically. Have you ever been pressured to leverage your web-enabled feature set? Immediately? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will empower the capability of action-items to disintermediate. We think we know that it is better to drive holistically than to transform holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Think nano-ultra-plug-and-play, best-of-breed. Our functionality is unmatched, but our 24/7/365 aggregation and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. It comes off as remarkable, but it's completely 100% 100% entirely accurate! If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to disintermediate "proactively"? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent has permanently altered the concept of micro-Total Quality Control. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Unix. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be customer-defined? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our back-end feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our fractal all-hands meetings and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. It sounds discombobulating, but it's 100% 100% accurate! We think that most virtual web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough XForms. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We will scale the power of super-user-defined CAD to synthesize. We think that most virally-distributed, interactive web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough CSS. Think interactive. Think user-defined.