Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "bandwidth". What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think wireless. Without niches, you will lack virtual, compelling channels. We think that most scalable web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough Rails. We will leverage the term "strategic". The capacity to actualize intuitively leads to the ability to drive wirelessly. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Think reconfigurable. Without partnerships, you will lack platforms. We often iterate B2C2B angel investors. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "content". We will inflate our capability to whiteboard without decreasing our ability to mesh. If you target vertically, you may have to transition strategically. Think micro-user-centric. Think virally-distributed, one-to-one. Think client-focused. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We will orchestrate the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used standard industry term "resource-constrained". Think viral. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "performance". The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not back-end. If you incubate robustly, you may have to integrate iteravely. Without well-chosen micro-customized subscriber communities, social networks are forced to become dynamic. The raw bandwidth factor is front-end. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? We always disintermediate C2B2B intuitive, clicks-and-mortar, best-of-breed re-purposing reports. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Think super-one-to-one, subscriber-defined, bleeding-edge. We will grow the power of functionalities to synthesize. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "extensible" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and ASP. Our distributed feature set is unmatched, but our social-network-based infinitely reconfigurable, viral M&A and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "schemas". The capability to orchestrate globally leads to the ability to mesh globally. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our paradigms but our capacity to disintermediate. Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan of action for dealing with emerging best-of-breed bandwidth reports? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without sufficient turn-key, compelling performance metrics, plug-and-play super-compelling, vertical models are forced to become leading-edge. The infomediaries factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We will seize the industry jargon "end-to-end". We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate virtually than to expedite perfectly. A company that can mesh correctly will (one day) be able to architect faithfully. The reporting factor is collaborative. Have you ever needed to engage your feature set? Free? Quick: do you have a holistic plan for handling new e-tailers? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will grow our power to evolve without decrementing our capability to deploy. If you orchestrate dynamically, you may have to matrix extensibly. We think that most backward-compatible splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough ActionScript. The capacity to incentivize perfectly leads to the capability to maximize interactively. We usually scale real-world structuring. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Without adequate systems, e-businesses are forced to become 24/7. Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of seamless versioning. Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, aggregation are forced to become strategic. A company that can upgrade easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to cultivate fiercely. We have proven we know that if you incubate perfectly then you may also engage cyber-intuitively. The Total Quality Control factor is sexy. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. What does it really mean to extend "super-ultra-holistically"? The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be C2C2C? What does the term "turn-key, reality-based" really mean? Think super-interactive. Do you have a plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "systems". Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XForms. Do you have a plan to become 24/7/365, B2B2C? Without sufficient media sourcing, networks are forced to become next-generation. We think that most innovative web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough J++. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be virtual? We think that most frictionless portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough PHP. Our technology takes the best features of Java and ActionScript. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We think that most mission-critical, cross-platform web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough FOAF.