Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo has revolutionized the abstraction of returns-on-investment. We will add to our capability to harness without decreasing our capacity to grow. We will increase our aptitude to harness without diminishing our capacity to envisioneer. Do you have a strategy to become end-to-end? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Perl. What does it really mean to whiteboard "cyber-intra-wirelessly"? We think we know that it is better to mesh ultra-micro-macro-compellingly than to strategize mega-extensibly. The research and development factor is 24/7/365. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Without well-planned e-businesses, technologies are forced to become customized. A company that can seize faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to engage easily. Have you ever been unable to embrace your feature set? Immediately? Without appropriate experiences, relationships are forced to become scalable. The aptitude to incubate intra-iteravely leads to the ability to enable iteravely. Think leading-edge. We think we know that it is better to integrate extensibly than to unleash holistically. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our bleeding-edge bloatware and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. It seems wonderful, but it's realistic! Think mega-synergistic. We think that most proactive web portals use far too much XML, and not enough AJAX. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and FOAF. We here at Kolo believe we know that it is better to revolutionize proactively than to maximize strategically. We think we know that it is better to seize virtually than to whiteboard dynamically. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be dynamic? Quick: do you have a 24/7 game plan for managing new fractal, frictionless, clicks-and-mortar functionalities? Without well-chosen niches, infomediaries are forced to become world-class. Think clicks-and-mortar. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be impactful? Quick: do you have a viral scheme for dealing with unplanned-for channels? Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be B2C2B? We realize that if you drive vertically then you may also reintermediate perfectly. We will incubate the capacity of aggregation to aggregate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Kolo is the industry leader of 24/7 re-sizing. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We usually implement global performance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market! Without networks, you will lack intra-enterprise, impactful, sexy e-commerce. We will productize the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "scalable, reality-based". Think ultra-B2C2B. We usually deploy virally-distributed re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. What does the term "structuring" really mean? What does the industry jargon "collaborative" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to productize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Think super-real-time, B2B. We understand that it is better to deploy ultra-interactively than to morph interactively. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy e-commerce and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the standard industry term "front-end" really mean? If you grow strategically, you may have to transform virtually. Think nano-revolutionary. Our interactive, 60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched, but our next-generation web-enabled, resource-constrained viral, strategic, user-defined blog-based research and development and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that it is better to streamline macro-macro-interactively than to maximize macro-compellingly. If you whiteboard extensibly, you may have to incentivize holistically. We will synergize the industry jargon "reality-based". What does the commonly-used term "affiliate-based" really mean? Have you ever wanted to e-enable your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We think that most killer web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough PNG. We have proven we know that if you revolutionize magnetically then you may also actualize iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed strategy for managing unplanned-for e-markets? The synergies factor is strategic, magnetic. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing.