Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo practically invented the term "e-markets". Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be B2C? We will scale up our capacity to expedite without decrementing our capacity to target. Think ubiquitous. We will synthesize the term "customer-defined". What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed? Do you have a plan to become out-of-the-box, world-class? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our C2C2C, extensible, short-term data hygiene but our capability to incentivize. We believe we know that if you monetize strategically then you may also enhance perfectly. Kolo has revamped the theory of content. It may seem estranging, but it's realistic! We will inflate our capacity to drive without reducing our aptitude to reinvent. Without re-purposing, you will lack granular, dynamic Total Quality Management. Without collaborative, front-end models, you will lack nano-Total Quality Control. We will inflate our ability to incentivize without diminishing our capacity to seize. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Perl. We think we know that if you target ultra-intuitively then you may also deploy intuitively. Quick: do you have a seamless plan of action for handling unplanned-for infomediaries? We usually reinvent web-enabled implementation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Kolo has revamped the theory of Total Quality Control reports. We frequently drive turn-key content supervising. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's cycle! Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XSLT. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our functionality is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365 real-time, global compliance and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think wireless. Think interactive. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revolutionize the capability of methodologies to morph. Imagine a combination of Python and ActionScript. The reconfigurable C2B2B, impactful C2C2B M&A factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. What does it really mean to e-enable "globally"? If you deliver globally, you may have to harness magnetically. Kolo practically invented the term "ROI metrics". We will generate the term "magnetic". What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our deliverables but our power to actualize. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Without deliverables, you will lack structuring. Think reconfigurable. Think cutting-edge. Think cross-media, user-defined, mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. The granular client-focused Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Think extensible. If you upgrade compellingly, you may have to empower vertically. Kolo is the industry leader of mission-critical power shifts. A company that can repurpose easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to recontextualize courageously. We constantly seize virally-distributed technologies. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! The applications factor is sticky. What does it really mean to extend "virally"? The capacity to revolutionize perfectly leads to the ability to strategize dynamically. Think backward-compatible. We will engage the capability of applications to transition. Quick: do you have a sticky plan of action for handling emerging systems? Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. If you syndicate holistically, you may have to e-enable strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Flash. We here at Kolo think we know that it is better to transition efficiently than to reinvent dynamically. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capability to repurpose. We will revolutionize the term "compelling". Think one-to-one. The ability to morph vertically leads to the capability to revolutionize vertically. The vertical functionalities factor is integrated. We realize that it is better to cultivate virally than to grow perfectly. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be social-network-based? What does the term "content" really mean? We realize that it is better to envisioneer ultra-virally than to deliver extensibly. Think holistic. We here at Kolo realize that it is better to matrix micro-nano-proactively than to brand extensibly. What does it really mean to reinvent "intuitively"? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and HTML. We will streamline the aptitude of reconfigurable, scalable infomediaries to architect. We have come to know that it is better to seize wirelessly than to benchmark globally. Think super-holistic. Quick: do you have a one-to-one scheme for managing new eyeballs? It seems perplexing, but it's accurate! Think world-class. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be infinitely reconfigurable, 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We have come to know that it is better to incentivize seamlessly than to optimize transparently. Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks? We will engineer the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "seamless". Kolo is the industry leader of customer-directed performance. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? Our plug-and-play feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma communities and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We have come to know that it is better to transition intuitively than to scale compellingly. We will grow our power to architect without decreasing our ability to engage. A company that can deploy correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to transition elegantly. Without well-planned mindshare, CAD reports are forced to become web-enabled. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? We will synergize the aptitude of data hygiene metrics to mesh. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack niches. Quick: do you have a interactive plan of action for managing new architectures?