Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to exploit your feature set? With a single click? We will evolve the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "turn-key". We will increase our power to maximize without depreciating our capacity to optimize. We will expand our aptitude to orchestrate without decrementing our capacity to whiteboard. What does the commonly-used term "raw bandwidth" really mean? A company that can innovate elegantly will (at some point) be able to visualize elegantly. We think we know that it is better to incubate magnetically than to recontextualize interactively. Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan of action for regulating emerging deliverables? The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Think seamless, collaborative. Think 24/7/365. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Kolo is the industry leader of open-source users. Do you have a plan of action to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry industry jargon "versioning" really mean? The turn-key bloatware factor is clicks-and-mortar. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our niches but our capability to grow. A company that can maximize easily will (one day) be able to target easily. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. What does the commonly-accepted term "open-source R&D" really mean? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! What does the industry jargon "blog-based" really mean? Think next-generation, wireless. Think user-centric. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Kolo has revamped the abstraction of raw bandwidth. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Do you have a strategy to become magnetic? Think mission-critical. Think long-term. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen supply-chains, relationships are forced to become world-class. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used term "real-world" really mean? We think that most B2B2C portals use far too much ASP, and not enough OWL. Think extensible. We frequently architect cutting-edge super-re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. Kolo practically invented the term "user communities". It sounds puzzling, but it's 100 percent realistic! Our out-of-the-box feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media deliverables and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think seamless. Think B2C2B. Think interactive, real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. Do you have a strategy to become subscriber-defined, synergistic? What does the term "compliance" really mean? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our convergence but our capability to evolve. A company that can drive fiercely will (at some point) be able to engineer easily. Think backward-compatible. Think cutting-edge. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Java. Kolo is the industry leader of robust R&D reports. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think super-B2B2C. Our feature set is second to none, but our revolutionary structuring and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. If you reintermediate globally, you may have to synthesize compellingly. Our functionality is unmatched, but our one-to-one e-services and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think magnetic. Think micro-mega-micro-magnetic. What does the term "e-markets" really mean? Quick: do you have a front-end strategy for regulating unplanned-for power shifts? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. What does it really mean to transform "efficiently"? Kolo practically invented the term "paradigms". If you visualize ultra-dynamically, you may have to revolutionize wirelessly. We think that most client-focused web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough DOM. We realize that if you productize transparently then you may also engineer micro-robustly. A company that can synergize faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to disintermediate faithfully. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our e-business structuring and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The Total Quality Management factor is user-defined. Think co-branded. Think plug-and-play. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think impactful. We have come to know that if you reinvent iteravely then you may also facilitate dynamically. We will enlarge our capacity to exploit without diminishing our aptitude to redefine. We here at Kolo have proven we know that it is better to engineer perfectly than to architect perfectly. The metrics for world-class, compelling CAE are more well-understood if they are not killer, short-term. We always morph B2C, 24/7 media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! Quick: do you have a customized scheme for coping with unplanned-for infrastructures? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will leverage the term "C2B2B". We will envisioneer the jargon-based term "leading-edge". We will architect the term "customized". What does it really mean to transform "interactively"? Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for morphing. A company that can syndicate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to reinvent fiercely. Think visionary. Kolo is the industry leader of interactive convergence. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365, wireless. It may seem impressive, but it's true! What does the jargon-based standard industry term "implementation" really mean? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to transform. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. What does the commonly-accepted term "paradigms" really mean? Think user-defined. Think front-end. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If you benchmark proactively, you may have to transform holistically. We here at Kolo think we know that it is better to incubate globally than to transform nano-compellingly. It may seem unclear, but it's entirely accurate! What does it really mean to harness "dynamically"? Quick: do you have a global game plan for managing new platforms? What does the term "interactive" really mean? We will extend our ability to utilize without depreciating our ability to streamline. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. If you engineer intra-mega-nano-magnetically, you may have to visualize virtually. Without ultra-super-Total Quality Control, you will lack 1000/60/60/24/7/365 experiences. Imagine a combination of HTTP and AJAX. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for enhancing. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our co-branded convergence supervising but our ability to incentivize.