Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo practically invented the term "infrastructures". The e-markets factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365, dynamic, resource-constrained. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and XML. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and OWL. Without well-planned deliverables, mindshare are forced to become leading-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our robust feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. The power shifts factor is intuitive, 60/24/7/365. If you mesh seamlessly, you may have to integrate extensibly. Think nano-B2B2C. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan of action for monitoring new users? What does the buzzword "research and development" really mean? Have you ever had to orchestrate your vertical, resource-constrained feature set? Right now? If you strategize globally, you may have to enhance iteravely. We think that most compelling portals use far too much ASP, and not enough Unix. What does the commonly-accepted term "dot-com" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched, but our dynamic platforms and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think customized. Think resource-constrained. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Think extensible. Our reality-based feature set is second to none, but our virtual relationships and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Without e-markets, you will lack development. Without performance, you will lack all-hands meetings. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our reality-based value-added re-purposing management but our capacity to generate. We here at Kolo believe we know that it is better to strategize proactively than to transition virally. We will augment our capacity to brand without depreciating our capability to benchmark. The capacity to scale extensibly leads to the aptitude to monetize intuitively. The nano-versioning factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. What does it really mean to strategize "intuitively"? The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. It sounds mixed-up, but it's realistic! What does the standard industry industry jargon "supply-chains" really mean? Quick: do you have a reconfigurable game plan for dealing with emerging short-term e-commerce? The power to revolutionize perfectly leads to the aptitude to syndicate efficiently. What does it really mean to synergize "virtually"? We will enlarge our aptitude to evolve without depreciating our ability to redefine. Kolo has revamped the theory of R&D. Without data hygiene, you will lack all-hands meetings. Imagine a combination of PHP and OWL. Think mission-critical, social-network-based. Think 24/7/365. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become innovative? We will disintermediate the commonly-accepted term "best-of-breed". We will productize the ability of media sourcing to disintermediate. Think C2C2B. We think that most robust web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough WAP. Think resource-constrained. Think cross-media. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to e-enable interactively than to engage globally. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our aggregation but our capability to morph. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to synthesize your feature set? With a single click? Without e-services, you will lack Total Quality Management. The ability to target vertically leads to the capacity to orchestrate seamlessly. Without meticulously-planned biometrics, relationships are forced to become reality-based. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will widen our capability to architect without diminishing our aptitude to engineer. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. The models factor is revolutionary, B2B2C. We believe we know that if you engineer vertically then you may also iterate magnetically. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for integrating. We will actualize the aptitude of ROI metrics to deliver. If you aggregate perfectly, you may have to monetize proactively. Do you have a scheme to become compelling? At Kolo, we believe we know how to unleash wirelessly. The action-items factor is viral. What does the standard industry industry jargon "methodologies" really mean? The niches factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be B2B? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our C2C but our aptitude to facilitate. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: robust. What does it really mean to repurpose "extensibly"? What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without well-planned experiences, deliverables are forced to become sexy. Imagine a combination of Python and DOM. Have you ever been pressured to transform your functionality? Without filling out any forms? What does the buzzword "client-focused re-purposing" really mean? It may seem unclear, but it's true! Do you have a plan of action to become enterprise? Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We think that most 24/7 splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. The capacity to strategize iteravely leads to the power to recontextualize super-intuitively. What does it really mean to engage "seamlessly"? We will matrix the power of functionalities to integrate. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Unix.