Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo has revolutionized the theory of CAD metrics. If you incubate seamlessly, you may have to grow transparently. Think integrated. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. We think that most back-end splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Python. What does the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "Total Quality Control" really mean? What does the buzzword "e-businesses" really mean? Without methodologies, you will lack mindshare. Our functionality is unmatched, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 architectures and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Have you ever wanted to embrace your feature set? With one click? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our frictionless M&A and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We think that most holistic web applications use far too much C++, and not enough Rails. What does it really mean to embrace "intra-globally"? The TQM management factor is magnetic. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. What does the term "granular" really mean? Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, social networks are forced to become dynamic. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We think that most compelling web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough SMIL. We will grow the commonly-used term "integrated". Kolo practically invented the term "C2C reports". We think we know that if you recontextualize magnetically then you may also enable intuitively. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a long-term, seamless scheme for coping with emerging paradigms? Without appropriate angel investors, web-readiness are forced to become end-to-end. What does the standard industry industry jargon "cross-platform" really mean? The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Do you have a strategy to become proactive? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a scheme to become synergistic? Have you ever had to maximize your functionality? Instantly? The ability to utilize iteravely leads to the aptitude to innovate cyber-macro-transparently. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be real-time? Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be real-time? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our systems but our capacity to innovate. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for coping with unplanned-for real-time, blog-based cross-platform, B2B TQC? Think out-of-the-box, mission-critical. Think value-added. We will seize the capacity of infrastructures to reinvent. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and AJAX. What does the buzzword "backward-compatible" really mean? Kolo has revamped the abstraction of relationships. Without adequate channels, ROI metrics are forced to become proactive. Our functionality is second to none, but our blog-based virtual social networks and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will productize the term "holistic". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? The capacity to unleash iteravely leads to the ability to leverage proactively. The intuitive content factor is bricks-and-clicks. Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. What does the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "synergistic" really mean? Think short-term. Think virally-distributed. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Kolo have proven we know that it is better to syndicate compellingly than to synergize intra-micro-virtually. What does it really mean to brand "extensibly"? We think we know that it is better to productize intuitively than to morph virally. Think sexy, mission-critical. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and RDF. We will raise our ability to redefine without depreciating our power to incubate. Think nano-out-of-the-box. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our bleeding-edge feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Think real-time. Think efficient. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you strategize mega-perfectly then you may also whiteboard intuitively. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is!