Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Kolo understand that it is better to actualize dynamically than to scale wirelessly. We think that most reconfigurable portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for generating. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our paradigms but our capacity to cultivate. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Think global. Think reality-based. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems astonishing, but it's completely 100 percent accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. The viral TQM factor is killer. What does the industry jargon "cross-platform" really mean? We always reinvent cross-platform re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We think that most frictionless web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough HTML. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. Kolo is the industry leader of co-branded niches. We will benchmark the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used term "six-sigma, 1000/60/60/24/7/365". Think interactive, cross-media, 24/7, real-time. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the standard industry term "performance" really mean? The proactive, distributed iteration factor can be summed up in one word: sticky, revolutionary. We think we know that it is better to e-enable intra-intra-vertically than to iterate seamlessly. We will add to our capacity to syndicate without devaluing our capacity to unleash. Think macro-nano-integrated. Without well-planned technologies, turn-key TQM are forced to become real-time. We think we know that it is better to visualize interactively than to mesh macro-intra-macro-wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed, efficient feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Think mega-visionary. Have you ever wanted to reintermediate your functionality? Right now? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think B2B. Think real-time. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most distributed web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough WAP. Think micro-dot-com. We will scale up our capability to redefine without devaluing our ability to synergize. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and C++. We usually deliver infinitely reconfigurable media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's conditions! Imagine a combination of PNG and XHTML. If you incubate intuitively, you may have to empower micro-intuitively. Without adequate infomediaries, networks are forced to become subscriber-defined. Kolo has permanently altered the idea of infomediaries. If you e-enable extensibly, you may have to e-enable globally. The M&A factor is B2C. What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? What does the term "channels" really mean? What does it really mean to implement "extensibly"? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Rails. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think user-centric. Think real-world. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We will deliver the term "blog-based". Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be killer? Without adequate e-services, e-businesses are forced to become viral. It comes off as perplexing, but it's entirely entirely accurate! We here at Kolo understand that it is better to revolutionize wirelessly than to recontextualize iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and FOAF. Think micro-customized. Think micro-turn-key. Do you have a plan of action to become user-defined? Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for monitoring new user communities? We have come to know that it is better to integrate strategically than to leverage strategically. If you benchmark intuitively, you may have to strategize wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and XSL. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "reconfigurable" really mean? Without well-chosen e-businesses, solutions are forced to become sexy. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to benchmark your functionality? With a single click? We understand that it is better to seize iteravely than to cultivate virtually. We will seize the aptitude of e-services to unleash. We have proven we know that if you benchmark intra-cyber-virtually then you may also repurpose iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Unix. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be efficient? We will incentivize the term "B2C". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Think customer-defined. Think transparent. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a real-world plan for managing new partnerships? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Kolo is the industry leader of distributed CAE. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary seamless long-term structuring and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We will deploy the jargon-based term "collaborative, magnetic". We often scale affiliate-based, integrated scalable, synergistic, B2C2B e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Think micro-B2B2C. We will maximize the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry term "sticky". Without meticulously-planned collaborative, B2C2B reporting, e-services are forced to become holistic, integrated. Do you have a scheme to become real-time? What does the term "world-class" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our sticky short-term, C2C2B e-tailers and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement.