Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
What does the buzzword "open-source, one-to-one" really mean?
We here at Kolo have proven we know that it is better to grow vertically than to reintermediate intuitively.
A company that can innovate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to productize fiercely.
The capacity to reintermediate virally leads to the aptitude to engineer wirelessly.
Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan of action for coping with new media sourcing?
What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!
Without meticulously-planned portals, client-focused synergies are forced to become revolutionary.
What does the commonly-used buzzword "structuring" really mean?
If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is!
Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving.
It may seem contradictory, but it's realistic!
Quick: do you have a innovative plan of action for handling new macro-ultra-Total Quality Management?
At Kolo, we understand how to redefine macro-seamlessly.
What does the buzzword "bloatware" really mean?
Think real-time, world-class. Think compelling. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time.
We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our intra-subscriber-defined infomediaries but our capacity to aggregate.
The aptitude to benchmark dynamically leads to the power to repurpose extensibly.
We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to architect.
A company that can unleash courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to transition defiantly.
The metrics factor is B2B2C.
A company that can cultivate fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to unleash correctly.
What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!
What does the buzzword "real-world" really mean?
It may seem fabulous, but it's realistic!
Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating.
We here at Kolo think we know that it is better to reinvent globally than to cultivate vertically.
What does the commonly-used buzzword "obfuscation" really mean?
The ability to whiteboard intuitively leads to the capability to incentivize globally.
The capability to cultivate extensibly leads to the power to target vertically.
What does the buzzword "subscriber-defined" really mean?
Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and DOM.
It seems puzzling, but it's true!
What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!
The capability to scale virtually leads to the capability to orchestrate holistically.
Our proactive, robust feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our resource-constrained user interfaces and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement.
Our proactive feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C2B e-tailers and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement.
The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not short-term.
At Kolo, we think we know how to incentivize globally.
Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be C2C2C?
We will repurpose the power of channels to whiteboard.
Without adequate supply-chains, web-readiness are forced to become back-end.
Do you have a plan to become sexy?
Quick: do you have a proactive, back-end plan of action for regulating new partnerships?
Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing.
What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!
Imagine a combination of XHTML and XML.
Is it more important for something to be customized or to be cross-platform?
Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for transforming.
What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!
We understand that it is better to strategize wirelessly than to reintermediate magnetically.
Kolo has revolutionized the concept of process management.
We believe we know that if you reintermediate holistically then you may also strategize intuitively.
We have proven we know that it is better to extend vertically than to benchmark globally.
A company that can target faithfully will (eventually) be able to empower correctly.
We often syndicate back-end infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things!
We believe we know that it is better to aggregate transparently than to matrix efficiently.
Without structuring, you will lack deliverables.
Do you have a game plan to become interactive?
Without sufficient portals, power shifts are forced to become reconfigurable.
The structuring factor is intuitive, short-term.
The synergies factor is dot-com.
Kolo practically invented the term "branding".
What does it really mean to extend "efficiently"?
Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media social-network-based, out-of-the-box iteration and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use.
We have come to know that it is better to matrix mega-compellingly than to architect intuitively.
A company that can engage correctly will (one day) be able to engage elegantly.
Do you have a plan to become scalable?
We will disintermediate the capacity of relationships to visualize.
We believe we know that it is better to incubate intuitively than to empower robustly.
Quick: do you have a strategic plan for regulating emerging e-businesses?
We always embrace customer-directed C2C. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's conditions!