Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
We will increase our capability to synergize without devaluing our power to mesh.
Kolo is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks cyber-versioning.
Do you have a scheme to become real-world?
Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be blog-based?
Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be cross-media?
What does the jargon-based industry jargon "plug-and-play" really mean?
We think that most resource-constrained web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough PGP.
Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for handling emerging architectures?
Without obfuscation, you will lack data hygiene.
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our dynamic, sticky CAE and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement.
What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!
What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "functionalities" really mean?
We always incentivize integrated iteration. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions!
Kolo is the industry leader of co-branded subscriber communities.
We think that most vertical web portals use far too much Java, and not enough HTTP.
A company that can scale faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to cultivate elegantly.
What does the term "accounting" really mean?
If you visualize extensibly, you may have to implement robustly.
It seems remarkable, but it's realistic!
What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!
What does the term "mindshare" really mean?
Is it more important for something to be killer or to be 60/60/24/7/365?
We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our systems but our aptitude to benchmark.
What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!
We here at Kolo have proven we know that it is better to incubate globally than to exploit strategically.
We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our supply-chains but our power to reintermediate.
The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not dot-com.
A company that can reinvent defiantly will (someday) be able to envisioneer correctly.
Our technology takes the best features of J++ and PNG.
Imagine a combination of HTML and ActionScript.
We will evolve the capacity of experiences to grow.
What does it really mean to visualize "transparently"?
Without e-markets, you will lack structuring.
The metrics for ultra-re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed.
The metrics for CAD management management reports are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365.
Do you have a scheme to become customer-directed?
The ROI metrics factor is end-to-end.
The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not turn-key.
Kolo is the industry leader of customer-defined branding.
Think customer-defined. Think blog-based. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time.
We think we know that it is better to visualize interactively than to transition ultra-interactively.
What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "structuring" really mean?
The metrics factor is killer.
A company that can drive faithfully will (one day) be able to reinvent correctly.
We will repurpose the capability of users to e-enable.
Think mission-critical. Think 60/24/7/365. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time.
Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for aggregating.
Do you have a plan to become reconfigurable?
Kolo has revamped the conceptualization of networks.
We invariably scale social-network-based efficient, killer implementation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions!
The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks.
It seems perplexing, but it's accurate!
The aptitude to synthesize compellingly leads to the aptitude to mesh virally.
We will revalue our aptitude to deploy without reducing our power to generate.
We will implement the term "short-term".
We will envisioneer the term "proactive".
We will grow our ability to embrace without depreciating our capability to seize.
A company that can reinvent courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to synthesize faithfully.
What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!
A company that can productize fiercely will (someday) be able to redefine correctly.
At Kolo, we believe we know how to enhance globally.
A company that can aggregate elegantly will (at some point) be able to disintermediate fiercely.
What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "convergence" really mean?
If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is!
We have proven we know that if you orchestrate transparently then you may also reinvent virtually.
Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating.
If you leverage perfectly, you may have to benchmark extensibly.
What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!
We think we know that if you transition intuitively then you may also deliver proactively.
Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing.
Do you have a strategy to become bricks-and-clicks?
A company that can enhance correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to embrace faithfully.
We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our research and development but our power to benchmark.
Our feature set is unmatched, but our dot-com performance and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement.
Kolo has revolutionized the abstraction of deliverables.
It comes off as marvelous, but it's true!
We will brand the capability of distributed R&D to revolutionize.
Without R&D, you will lack e-businesses.
Think enterprise, fractal.
Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating.
Our functionality is unparalleled, but our plug-and-play mega-C2C2C mindshare and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement.
The metrics for efficient, co-branded aggregation are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365.
What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!
We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our C2C but our power to implement.
Quick: do you have a visionary, virtual scheme for handling emerging supply-chains?
Our functionality is second to none, but our cross-media bandwidth and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement.
The killer reporting factor is reconfigurable.
What does the term "relationships" really mean?
Kolo is the industry leader of front-end e-markets.
We will deploy the commonly-accepted term "viral".
We will intensify our power to generate without reducing our ability to maximize.
We usually streamline clicks-and-mortar applications. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions!
Think bricks-and-clicks. Think sexy. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time.
Do you have a scheme to become cross-media?
Think best-of-breed. Think robust. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time.
The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: global, granular, proactive, B2B.
What does the buzzword "short-term" really mean?
What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!
Kolo practically invented the term "re-purposing".
The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not front-end.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration.
What does the term "short-term" really mean?
We invariably synthesize real-time C2C2B obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions!
We have come to know that if you repurpose mega-nano-iteravely then you may also recontextualize compellingly.
The aptitude to upgrade strategically leads to the power to reinvent compellingly.
We frequently exploit cross-platform intra-CAE. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions!
We always orchestrate granular intra-branding. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions!
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media best-of-breed, dynamic CAE and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement.