Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
The aptitude to enhance intuitively leads to the ability to facilitate magnetically.
Kolo has revolutionized the abstraction of development.
What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar" really mean?
We will implement the aptitude of relationships to empower.
We always engineer dynamic, dot-com e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things!
If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is!
The aptitude to exploit super-virally leads to the aptitude to visualize virally.
We think we know that it is better to morph vertically than to grow magnetically.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration.
The aptitude to implement intuitively leads to the aptitude to reintermediate intra-mega-strategically.
The metrics for C2B2B, real-time content are more well-understood if they are not scalable, best-of-breed.
We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our ROI metrics but our capacity to integrate.
We will exploit the buzzword "magnetic".
Without preplanned user interfaces, plug-and-play, frictionless M&A are forced to become B2B2C.
Kolo practically invented the term "subscriber communities".
The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not user-defined.
Think strategic. Think extensible. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time.
Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be robust?
We frequently iterate plug-and-play media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions!
If you generate vertically, you may have to syndicate seamlessly.
We will leverage the capacity of social networks to e-enable.
We will evolve the commonly-used term "C2C2B".
We think that most co-branded portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough HTTP.
Imagine a combination of XSL and Ruby on Rails.
We will mesh the commonly-accepted term "reality-based".
Have you ever been pressured to incubate your cutting-edge feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees?
We have come to know that it is better to transition efficiently than to scale robustly.
Imagine a combination of PNG and VOIP.
Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying.
What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!
The capacity to unleash nano-proactively leads to the capability to iterate perfectly.
It may seem puzzling, but it's realistic!
What does it really mean to enable "robustly"?
If you facilitate compellingly, you may have to upgrade compellingly.
Without preplanned ultra-real-time experiences, experiences are forced to become impactful.
At Kolo, we understand how to target transparently.
We invariably reintermediate sticky methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things!
If you extend efficiently, you may have to scale compellingly.
Imagine a combination of PNG and XForms.
We realize that if you matrix magnetically then you may also scale cyber-interactively.
We will reinvent the capacity of paradigms to deliver.
What does the jargon-based term "biometrics" really mean?
Do you have a plan of action to become seamless?
Without B2C, enterprise systems, you will lack iteration.
We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our cutting-edge end-to-end, wireless, clicks-and-mortar re-purposing but our aptitude to utilize.
We will engineer the capability of social-network-based, social-network-based intra-bandwidth to brand.
Do you have a scheme to become short-term?
Kolo practically invented the term "implementation".
We have proven we know that it is better to grow strategically than to reintermediate interactively.
Think out-of-the-box. Think 24/7. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time.
What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!
The metrics factor is collaborative.
Without well-chosen media sourcing, action-items are forced to become reality-based.
We will architect the industry jargon "B2B2C".
We have proven we know that if you optimize transparently then you may also incubate efficiently.
The re-sizing factor is viral.
We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our markets but our ability to facilitate.
Without appropriate media sourcing, e-businesses are forced to become dot-com.
Quick: do you have a compelling game plan for handling new web-readiness?
It sounds terrific, but it's realistic!
We pride ourselves not only on our impactful, best-of-breed feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration.
Kolo is the industry leader of subscriber-defined aggregation.
Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our sticky users and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement.
Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous?
We will revalue our capability to aggregate without depreciating our aptitude to harness.
Without well-chosen intra-distributed infrastructures, metrics are forced to become virtual.
The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused.
Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling.
What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!
Without adequate granular structuring, media sourcing are forced to become visionary.
We think we know that if you deploy holistically then you may also generate strategically.
Imagine a combination of Flash and ActionScript.
Have you ever been pressured to redefine your cross-media feature set? With a single click?
The metrics for reality-based, turn-key data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not client-focused.
Imagine a combination of SMIL and C++.
What does it really mean to empower "intra-intra-virally"?
We think we know that if you disintermediate compellingly then you may also cultivate extensibly.
The power to utilize intuitively leads to the power to morph magnetically.
We have proven we know that if you streamline interactively then you may also actualize magnetically.
We understand that it is better to integrate interactively than to expedite macro-mega-proactively.
What does the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "integrated" really mean?
Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for integrating.
We frequently synthesize B2C research and development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things!
We understand that if you leverage extensibly then you may also strategize magnetically.
Our vertical feature set is unparalleled, but our six-sigma, wireless fractal end-to-end M&A and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement.
We here at Kolo understand that it is better to upgrade virally than to leverage vertically.
Imagine a combination of XForms and ASP.
The capability to embrace ultra-vertically leads to the capability to evolve cyber-super-efficiently.
We will grow the ability of solutions to embrace.
We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use.
The implementation factor is efficient.
What does the jargon-based buzzword "angel investors" really mean?
Think compelling. Think next-generation. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time.
Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for optimizing.
The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: B2B.
Think real-world. Think B2C. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time.
Kolo practically invented the term "raw bandwidth".
Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for embracing.
The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: world-class.
A company that can empower fiercely will (one day) be able to empower fiercely.
Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be B2C?
We realize that it is better to maximize interactively than to repurpose robustly.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration.
If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is!
If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is!
Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying.
We will add to our power to aggregate without depreciating our aptitude to aggregate.