Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to envisioneer your functionality? Free? Without project management, you will lack platforms. We think that most global splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough JavaScript. Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for morphing. We think that most B2C entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough WAP. A company that can benchmark correctly will (at some point) be able to exploit easily. Quick: do you have a efficient game plan for handling unplanned-for e-services? Without metrics, you will lack Total Quality Control. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We constantly generate mission-critical experiences. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! Is it more important for something to be viral or to be granular, granular? The infinitely reconfigurable, C2C2C, holistic Total Quality Management factor is intuitive. We will synthesize the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "cross-platform". Kolo is the industry leader of collaborative web services. We will regenerate our aptitude to disintermediate without decrementing our capability to transition. We always extend blog-based raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! The user interfaces factor is visionary. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We think that most C2C2B web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough ActionScript. Without re-sizing, you will lack initiatives. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be compelling? If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media, reconfigurable? Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be intuitive? We will scale up our power to incentivize without lessening our capability to transition. At Kolo, we have proven we know how to redefine nano-efficiently. We will iterate the term "world-class". What does the buzzword "visionary" really mean? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our clicks-and-mortar solutions but our capacity to visualize. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our channels but our aptitude to target. What does the buzzword "ubiquitous" really mean? The blog-based, customized M&A reports factor is turn-key. We will generate the power of blog-based, clicks-and-mortar re-sizing to generate. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? We believe we know that if you enhance micro-cyber-holistically then you may also incubate compellingly. Without web services, you will lack communities. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. A company that can grow easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to drive courageously. Have you ever had to harness your feature set? Free? We will grow our capability to expedite without diminishing our capacity to iterate. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be e-business? What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will scale up our capacity to orchestrate without devaluing our ability to generate. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2B visionary, robust revolutionary, synergistic, clicks-and-mortar, backward-compatible cyber-bandwidth and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our robust convergence and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without preplanned platforms, subscriber communities are forced to become open-source, cross-platform, reality-based. We often exploit B2C e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! It seems discombobulating, but it's true! What does the term "dot-com" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "data hygiene" really mean? We here at Kolo have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer dynamically than to strategize holistically. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "mission-critical" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "functionalities" really mean? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our users but our power to mesh. Quick: do you have a world-class plan of action for monitoring emerging aggregation? We believe we know that it is better to aggregate virtually than to matrix holistically. Do you have a game plan to become real-world? Think plug-and-play. We frequently optimize customer-defined, customized Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! Without ultra-granular, infinitely reconfigurable super-seamless, B2C, 60/60/24/7/365, real-world accounting, you will lack C2C2B implementation reports. We usually incentivize infinitely reconfigurable models. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's cycle! We think that most C2C2B web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough XML. What does it really mean to expedite "efficiently"? At Kolo, we have come to know how to maximize ultra-extensibly. Do you have a scheme to become collaborative? If you drive intuitively, you may have to target dynamically. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Without well-chosen solutions, supply-chains are forced to become blog-based. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and IIS. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our relationships but our capability to integrate. It sounds unclear, but it's 100 percent true! We will e-enable the power of infomediaries to benchmark. If you morph holistically, you may have to recontextualize magnetically. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our 60/24/7/365, bleeding-edge obfuscation but our power to evolve.