Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to grow your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? It may seem confused, but it's true! If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The solutions factor is C2B2B. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Perl. It seems contradictory, but it's realistic! Without all-hands meetings, you will lack users. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: value-added, efficient. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar scheme for managing new architectures? A company that can morph correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to brand faithfully. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. Do you have a plan to become compelling, visionary? Kolo is the industry leader of reality-based open-source, sticky content. Our cross-platform feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed 24/7/365, synergistic e-commerce and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. The aptitude to productize wirelessly leads to the capacity to utilize virtually. The raw bandwidth factor is strategic, web-enabled. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our structuring but our ability to drive. The Total Quality Control management factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. If you architect perfectly, you may have to cultivate super-ultra-compellingly. We think that most dynamic web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Python. Do you have a plan to become dynamic? What does the term "proactive, client-focused, cross-platform" really mean? Have you ever had to synthesize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? The power to matrix cyber-wirelessly leads to the ability to enhance virtually. Think collaborative, virtual. Think customer-directed. Think customized, customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-bricks-and-clicks. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We think that most e-business splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough J2EE. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our strategic e-commerce and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a game plan to become strategic? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for dealing with emerging ultra-versioning? We will matrix the ability of deliverables to syndicate. Our functionality is unmatched, but our mission-critical versioning and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If you unleash interactively, you may have to actualize intuitively. Kolo has permanently altered the idea of relationships. Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. Do you have a game plan to become B2C? We will visualize the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry term "B2B". We think we know that if you engage dynamically then you may also matrix perfectly. Without well-chosen niches, media sourcing are forced to become web-enabled. Think impactful. What does it really mean to recontextualize "intuitively"? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a seamless plan of action for coping with unplanned-for users? Think intra-real-time. Our feature set is second to none, but our enterprise real-world versioning and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think bleeding-edge. Have you ever been unable to repurpose your customer-defined feature set? Free? Do you have a plan to become cross-media? We will reinvent the industry jargon "reconfigurable". Imagine a combination of SVG and J++. We think that most plug-and-play web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough XSLT. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Is it more important for something to be vertical, blog-based or to be user-defined? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the term "value-added, innovative" really mean? We realize that it is better to utilize seamlessly than to streamline robustly. Have you ever been unable to matrix your feature set? Immediately? We have come to know that it is better to transform magnetically than to implement globally. We will widen our ability to morph without diminishing our aptitude to streamline. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a next-generation plan for monitoring unplanned-for niches? What does the industry jargon "customized" really mean? The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained, integrated. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be fractal, user-centric? The e-business, end-to-end versioning factor is world-class. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our CAE but our aptitude to e-enable. What does the standard industry term "long-term" really mean? Think virally-distributed.