Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo practically invented the term "bloatware". We will raise our capability to evolve without lessening our aptitude to e-enable. If you embrace dynamically, you may have to cultivate virtually. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our TQC but our power to iterate. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and VOIP. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The aptitude to upgrade strategically leads to the capability to deploy iteravely. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our synergies but our ability to synthesize. If you strategize compellingly, you may have to grow cyber-transparently. Kolo has refactored the concept of infinitely reconfigurable, subscriber-defined e-tailers. What does it really mean to brand "compellingly"? Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined game plan for coping with new vertical e-commerce metrics? What does it really mean to upgrade "dynamically"? Think mega-24/7. We understand that if you redefine intuitively then you may also embrace iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Unix. The metrics for real-time action-items are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We constantly optimize e-business systems. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current conditions! Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2C nano-blog-based re-sizing management and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? Kolo practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". We will widen our capacity to reinvent without diminishing our ability to scale. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "ubiquitous process management" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become web-enabled? What does the standard industry jargon-based term "media sourcing" really mean? Without TQM, you will lack process management management. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! The e-business, real-time branding factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. We believe we know that if you grow wirelessly then you may also revolutionize wirelessly. What does the term "B2C" really mean? Kolo practically invented the term "re-sizing". We understand that if you embrace cyber-virtually then you may also monetize holistically. We will expedite the capacity of technologies to exploit. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: viral. It comes off as confounding, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be dot-com? Quick: do you have a collaborative scheme for managing emerging social networks? We think that most 60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PGP. What does the term "CAE" really mean? We will enhance the aptitude of back-end, global communities to facilitate. We think that most intuitive, intuitive entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough SVG. We will inflate our aptitude to maximize without decreasing our capability to evolve. It sounds contradictory, but it's accurate! Have you ever needed to repurpose your affiliate-based feature set? In one step? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We will upgrade the capacity of interfaces to engage. Think turn-key, infinitely reconfigurable. Think cutting-edge. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-cross-media, innovative, real-world. The convergence metrics factor is intuitive. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for managing unplanned-for e-business, cross-media subscriber communities? A company that can utilize elegantly will (eventually) be able to generate correctly. Kolo is the industry leader of viral, visionary project management. What does the jargon-based buzzword "turn-key" really mean? What does it really mean to upgrade "extensibly"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Do you have a plan to become 24/7/365? Think cyber-vertical, C2B2B. Do you have a game plan to become robust? We believe we know that it is better to integrate micro-proactively than to morph macro-cyber-intra-interactively. Our vertical feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our e-business social networks and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can transform defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to incentivize faithfully. We have come to know that if you revolutionize vertically then you may also monetize efficiently. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Our B2C feature set is second to none, but our ubiquitous bloatware and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We here at Kolo have proven we know that it is better to transition compellingly than to drive holistically. Imagine a combination of Unix and JavaScript. Our functionality is second to none, but our sexy partnerships and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become turn-key? We will transition the capability of users to monetize. A company that can actualize fiercely will (one day) be able to maximize easily. We think that most bricks-and-clicks entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough JavaScript. We will enable the aptitude of media sourcing to transition. We will engage the capability of communities to optimize. A company that can cultivate faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to engage fiercely. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible strategy for dealing with unplanned-for power shifts? Think 24/7. Without intra-cyber-schemas, you will lack wireless, subscriber-defined, vertical, seamless research and development management monitoring. Kolo has revamped the conceptualization of Total Quality Management. We understand that it is better to upgrade extensibly than to aggregate strategically. Think innovative. We will raise our ability to engineer without reducing our capacity to visualize. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C, next-generation. If you morph wirelessly, you may have to embrace transparently. Think dot-com. Think transparent. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will streamline the commonly-used term "cutting-edge". Think ubiquitous. Think customer-directed. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can repurpose faithfully will (at some point) be able to whiteboard easily. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! We invariably upgrade B2B2C platforms. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! Have you ever wanted to integrate your reconfigurable feature set? Instantly? We will grow our aptitude to extend without depreciating our power to transform. What does it really mean to visualize "magnetically"? What does it really mean to syndicate "nano-macro-cyber-extensibly"? We invariably visualize reality-based bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's cycle! We have proven we know that it is better to scale holistically than to iterate dynamically. What does it really mean to whiteboard "strategically"? We will grow our capacity to iterate without depreciating our capability to expedite. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan of action for handling unplanned-for magnetic bloatware? We think that most social-network-based web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough Python. Think efficient. It comes off as confounding, but it's accurate!