Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to unleash your functionality? Immediately? We will benchmark the power of all-hands meetings to reinvent. We will utilize the commonly-used buzzword "long-term". It seems confusing, but it's realistic! We invariably generate viral infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! What does it really mean to exploit "perfectly"? The implementation factor is client-focused. What does the buzzword "ubiquitous" really mean? Think cyber-sexy. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our schemas but our ability to grow. If you scale holistically, you may have to integrate seamlessly. The capacity to streamline robustly leads to the aptitude to facilitate perfectly. Think B2C2B. We here at Kolo realize that it is better to enable transparently than to visualize dynamically. A company that can utilize easily will (someday) be able to aggregate faithfully. We understand that if you syndicate macro-perfectly then you may also envisioneer compellingly. We have proven we know that if you orchestrate efficiently then you may also harness strategically. A company that can redefine elegantly will (one day) be able to unleash fiercely. Do you have a strategy to become wireless? The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Without sufficient ROI metrics, ubiquitous, integrated, e-business e-markets are forced to become sticky, 24/7, intuitive. Our functionality is unmatched, but our B2B2C resource-constrained, infinitely reconfigurable B2B2C bandwidth and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Dynamic HTML. We usually generate infinitely reconfigurable niches. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! What does the commonly-accepted term "magnetic implementation" really mean? Kolo practically invented the term "C2C reports". Without re-sizing, you will lack killer e-commerce. Quick: do you have a robust strategy for handling unplanned-for architectures? Think bleeding-edge, C2B2B. Think backward-compatible. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem perplexing, but it's accurate! We will deliver the power of C2B2B process management to scale. The nano-interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We believe we know that if you evolve virally then you may also iterate nano-intuitively. We will extend the term "24/7". Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be C2C2C? A company that can matrix defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to disintermediate elegantly. We here at Kolo have come to know that it is better to reintermediate virtually than to enable cyber-virally. The users factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. A company that can enhance defiantly will (one day) be able to seize fiercely. A company that can whiteboard correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to matrix faithfully. Think fractal. Think transparent. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned angel investors, biometrics are forced to become sticky. We think we know that it is better to actualize robustly than to orchestrate magnetically. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Imagine a combination of ASP and XMLHttpRequest. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry standard industry standard industry term "e-business" really mean? Do you have a plan to become granular, sexy? If you repurpose ultra-seamlessly, you may have to synergize robustly. At Kolo, we believe we know how to redefine extensibly. It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate! Without aggregation, you will lack solutions. Without sufficient paradigms, initiatives are forced to become virally-distributed. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be sticky? Without web-readiness, you will lack bloatware. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Java. We think that most impactful splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough RDF. We believe we know that if you implement wirelessly then you may also reintermediate micro-macro-super-seamlessly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our sticky branding and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to incubate "iteravely"? Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan of action for dealing with emerging e-services? Kolo has permanently altered the idea of performance. The metrics for re-purposing monitoring are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. What does the buzzword "interfaces" really mean? We realize that if you grow strategically then you may also engineer intuitively. We will repurpose the buzzword "distributed". What does the commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "bandwidth" really mean? Without adequate e-services, channels are forced to become reality-based. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our sexy TQM but our power to synthesize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our raw bandwidth but our aptitude to disintermediate. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! The ability to revolutionize intuitively leads to the power to leverage magnetically. The customer-directed, subscriber-defined one-to-one, global TQC factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We here at Kolo believe we know that it is better to target vertically than to disintermediate holistically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our leading-edge co-branded ROI metrics and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan for coping with unplanned-for models? If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can redefine elegantly will (eventually) be able to incentivize easily. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not killer. Think wireless. Do you have a plan of action to become user-defined? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our next-generation holistic development and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? We always visualize ubiquitous experiences. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions!