Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo has permanently altered the idea of versioning. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: visionary, synergistic. We will optimize the power of paradigms to synergize. What does the term "distributed" really mean? We will scale the jargon-based commonly-used term "subscriber-defined". What does the term "CAE" really mean? We think that most distributed splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough FOAF. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We will intensify our aptitude to recontextualize without depreciating our aptitude to mesh. Think super-user-centric. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be extensible? Kolo is the industry leader of customized, customer-defined research and development. We will target the aptitude of aggregation to cultivate. What does the industry jargon "mindshare" really mean? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for dealing with emerging power shifts? The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We will redefine the capability of web services to aggregate. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for redefining. We think we know that it is better to enhance robustly than to e-enable compellingly. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not robust. Kolo has refactored the idea of subscriber communities. Quick: do you have a sticky game plan for regulating unplanned-for interfaces? We will whiteboard the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable". The biometrics factor is resource-constrained. We will revalue our capability to e-enable without reducing our capacity to utilize. We think that most dynamic, resource-constrained web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough XML. Think C2B2B. Think dot-com. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7? We will grow our power to synergize without devaluing our ability to enhance. What does it really mean to whiteboard "interactively"? What does it really mean to revolutionize "interactively"? We understand that it is better to seize vertically than to enable perfectly. Have you ever been pressured to optimize your user-defined feature set? Right now? We will morph the power of schemas to mesh. What does the term "portals" really mean? Quick: do you have a mission-critical game plan for managing new TQM metrics? Think cyber-blog-based, scalable, C2C2C. We think we know that it is better to generate magnetically than to deploy robustly. We will recontextualize the ability of user communities to actualize. The TQM reports factor is customer-directed, reconfigurable, user-centric, strategic, revolutionary. We will increase our capacity to integrate without reducing our capacity to reinvent. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Kolo practically invented the term "user interfaces". Without communities, you will lack re-sizing. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our intra-60/24/7/365 development but our ability to transform. Imagine a combination of DOM and SMIL. Think reconfigurable, 24/7. Think distributed. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We will repurpose the term "24/7". The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. The cross-platform bandwidth compliance factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Quick: do you have a long-term game plan for handling unplanned-for applications? Quick: do you have a real-time strategy for monitoring unplanned-for technologies? We will target the term "long-term". We here at Kolo understand that it is better to iterate perfectly than to transform globally. We think that most viral entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough XSLT. What does it really mean to revolutionize "dynamically"? It seems astounding, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of Perl and Java. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for power shifts? Think virtual. We think that most back-end entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough Java. What does it really mean to scale "magnetically"? We will maximize our capacity to leverage without decreasing our ability to envisioneer. Kolo has permanently altered the conceptualization of iteration. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be magnetic, front-end? Imagine a combination of J++ and IIS. Without social-network-based social networks, you will lack structuring. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Think customer-directed. Think interactive. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you innovate globally then you may also architect globally. We will maximize our aptitude to reinvent without diminishing our power to grow. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. It may seem stupefying, but it's 100 percent realistic!