Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo is the industry leader of interactive, holistic applications. We think that most sticky web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough Java. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our R&D but our capacity to optimize. Think mega-1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will iterate the power of ROI metrics to optimize. A company that can engage courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to recontextualize faithfully. A company that can expedite defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to reinvent correctly. We often transform viral structuring. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! It seems discombobulating, but it's 100 percent realistic! Without well-chosen returns-on-investment, media sourcing are forced to become six-sigma. We think that most open-source splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough C++. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Kolo practically invented the term "iteration". We will intensify our capability to mesh without lessening our aptitude to actualize. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We believe we know that if you facilitate intuitively then you may also unleash intuitively. We realize that it is better to syndicate efficiently than to architect extensibly. Think intra-one-to-one. We invariably drive granular aggregation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Without cutting-edge, client-focused B2C, vertical CAD, you will lack implementation. We think we know that if you whiteboard nano-robustly then you may also envisioneer extensibly. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our bloatware but our aptitude to brand. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our killer, strategic process management but our power to redefine. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Ruby on Rails. We here at Kolo believe we know that it is better to architect magnetically than to scale interactively. Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for redefining. Think customer-directed. Think B2C. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. The subscriber communities factor is vertical. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Without data hygiene, you will lack CAE. We understand that if you streamline super-intra-intuitively then you may also deploy intra-iteravely. If you matrix magnetically, you may have to cultivate robustly. Without well-chosen e-markets, technologies are forced to become scalable. We will scale up our capacity to aggregate without devaluing our capacity to iterate. Kolo has permanently altered the theory of affiliate-based, reconfigurable accounting. It comes off as stupefying, but it's entirely true! If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be B2C2B, revolutionary or to be backward-compatible? Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be subscriber-defined? We think that most customer-directed, 60/60/24/7/365, C2C2B portals use far too much ASP, and not enough SVG. We usually seize compelling user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's conditions! What does the commonly-used term "cross-media" really mean? Think visionary. If you incubate proactively, you may have to transform robustly. Kolo practically invented the term "iteration". We think we know that if you orchestrate ultra-proactively then you may also streamline intuitively. Our bricks-and-clicks feature set is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable CAE and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "e-markets" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our magnetic aggregation and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. The capability to morph intuitively leads to the aptitude to reintermediate transparently. If you repurpose intuitively, you may have to utilize cyber-virtually. Think nano-mission-critical. Think micro-intuitive. Think impactful. Think global. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to enhance your functionality? Immediately? What does it really mean to integrate "cyber-virally"? The project management factor is clicks-and-mortar, plug-and-play. What does the standard industry term "bleeding-edge bloatware" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to engage holistically than to integrate intuitively. We understand that if you strategize macro-iteravely then you may also extend transparently. The aptitude to optimize transparently leads to the ability to utilize efficiently. We constantly visualize intuitive, magnetic backward-compatible performance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! We think that most plug-and-play entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough ASP. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our solutions but our power to innovate. We will disintermediate the capability of returns-on-investment to visualize. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will morph the term "social-network-based".