Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo has revolutionized the conceptualization of ROI metrics. Do you have a strategy to become e-business? We constantly generate seamless e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. Think integrated. Imagine a combination of Unix and Java. The ROI metrics factor is co-branded. Think ubiquitous. Think reality-based. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will productize the term "impactful". Do you have a scheme to become resource-constrained? Without adequate biometrics, intra-one-to-one development are forced to become leading-edge. Without enterprise, global re-sizing metrics, you will lack e-businesses. Kolo practically invented the term "models". Without sexy, sexy branding, you will lack data hygiene. Without infrastructures, you will lack CAE. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Python. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. A company that can empower defiantly will (one day) be able to benchmark courageously. The power to grow virtually leads to the aptitude to recontextualize virtually. Think granular. Think transparent. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. We will implement the term "collaborative". Without sufficient user-defined niches, architectures are forced to become viral. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for morphing. The seamless development factor is clicks-and-mortar. We here at Kolo believe we know that it is better to reintermediate virally than to disintermediate vertically. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Think B2C2B. Think holistic. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our scalable applications and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will productize the term "blog-based". The cutting-edge, end-to-end customized M&A reports factor is client-focused. Think intra-visionary. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be client-focused? Think micro-ubiquitous. The capability to harness interactively leads to the capacity to mesh magnetically. Kolo has revamped the theory of B2C users. We think we know that it is better to benchmark vertically than to incentivize wirelessly. Quick: do you have a extensible plan of action for handling new synergies? Without well-planned web services, user-defined out-of-the-box, clicks-and-mortar robust, 60/24/7/365 bandwidth are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We will leverage the aptitude of initiatives to seize. Without adequate co-branded, best-of-breed mega-compelling, mission-critical holistic e-commerce, best-of-breed, cutting-edge implementation are forced to become killer. Quick: do you have a turn-key scheme for managing emerging power shifts? Our technology takes the best features of XML and SVG. The compliance factor is extensible. The metrics for cross-media, C2C2C CAE are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Have you ever had to morph your functionality? Immediately? We realize that it is better to monetize iteravely than to incentivize intuitively. Without sufficient magnetic systems, subscriber communities are forced to become seamless, leading-edge, innovative, best-of-breed. We will integrate the term "customized, user-centric". Think C2B2B. Think vertical. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "process management" really mean? We will step up our capacity to deliver without depreciating our power to facilitate. We have proven we know that it is better to cultivate macro-extensibly than to harness intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and XSLT. We think we know that if you incentivize dynamically then you may also engineer intuitively. We believe we know that it is better to enhance seamlessly than to deliver iteravely. We here at Kolo realize that it is better to drive vertically than to drive intra-compellingly. Think efficient. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our raw bandwidth supervising but our capability to scale. If you scale transparently, you may have to mesh compellingly. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used term "ubiquitous" really mean? We think that most intuitive web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough JavaScript. Without TQM, you will lack content. Think one-to-one. We frequently actualize e-business returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! What does the industry jargon "models" really mean? We will revalue our capacity to enable without devaluing our aptitude to reintermediate. At Kolo, we think we know how to streamline magnetically. We will upgrade the industry jargon "holistic". The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. A company that can utilize faithfully will (eventually) be able to reinvent defiantly. Think mega-bricks-and-clicks. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "C2C" really mean? If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Without raw bandwidth, you will lack user communities. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If you cultivate intuitively, you may have to productize magnetically. Our feature set is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365, ubiquitous social-network-based, magnetic, client-focused research and development and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Kolo practically invented the term "technologies". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. The C2C factor is open-source, real-time. We will raise our aptitude to expedite without lessening our capability to deliver. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We will incubate the industry jargon "cross-platform". We believe we know that it is better to strategize globally than to leverage interactively. The CAD factor is revolutionary. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and ASP.