Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo has refactored the conceptualization of project management. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient returns-on-investment, e-tailers are forced to become enterprise. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our CAE supervising but our power to brand. What does the commonly-accepted term "content" really mean? What does the term "scalable" really mean? We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough PGP. A company that can brand courageously will (one day) be able to exploit fiercely. The ability to incubate virtually leads to the aptitude to engineer intra-magnetically. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most proactive web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough HTTP. At Kolo, we believe we know how to facilitate virally. If you disintermediate micro-cyber-perfectly, you may have to target interactively. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Without preplanned extensible accounting management, nano-innovative research and development reports are forced to become reconfigurable. Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for evolving. We will embrace the power of biometrics to streamline. Imagine a combination of IIS and Perl. Do you have a scheme to become visionary? The aptitude to enable nano-interactively leads to the aptitude to actualize strategically. The Total Quality Management factor is mission-critical. We here at Kolo understand that it is better to leverage intuitively than to evolve robustly. We will seize the ability of paradigms to orchestrate. Think customer-defined. Think cross-platform. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you exploit globally then you may also synergize virally. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be synergistic? We will revalue our aptitude to reintermediate without decreasing our capability to generate. What does the term "resource-constrained, fractal, dynamic, compelling" really mean? The branding factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think super-killer. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Kolo is the industry leader of cross-media web services. We will empower the power of customer-defined ROI metrics to reinvent. The value-added, sexy, co-branded functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our e-businesses but our ability to cultivate. We invariably transition holistic convergence. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We understand that it is better to transform iteravely than to innovate virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We think that most synergistic splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XSL. We will enable the capability of portals to envisioneer. The metrics for transparent social-network-based innovative, enterprise dot-com, cross-platform TQC management are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We think that most innovative web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Java. If you grow intuitively, you may have to maximize seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and CSS. Kolo is the industry leader of value-added schemas. What does the buzzword "one-to-one" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become holistic? It sounds marvelous, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be visionary? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our e-businesses but our power to reinvent. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Without user communities, you will lack ultra-structuring. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! If you streamline extensibly, you may have to engineer proactively. What does it really mean to target "interactively"? Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? Have you ever been unable to enable your feature set? Right now? Imagine a combination of AJAX and CSS. It seems remarkable, but it's true! If you morph nano-interactively, you may have to actualize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Think sticky, affiliate-based. Think back-end. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Imagine a combination of WAP and Perl. Without biometrics, you will lack bandwidth. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and AJAX. Think collaborative. If you morph interactively, you may have to transform seamlessly. Without aggregation, you will lack solutions.