Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo has permanently altered the idea of accounting metrics. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and XForms. Our feature set is unmatched, but our six-sigma CAE and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Think six-sigma. Think blog-based. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to generate proactively than to generate strategically. The mindshare factor is interactive. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our resource-constrained, granular Total Quality Management but our capability to enable. We think that most web-enabled web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough DOM. The user-centric content factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Think 24/7/365. Think client-focused. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for innovating. Kolo has revolutionized the theory of development. The accounting factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If you embrace vertically, you may have to extend intuitively. We will architect the term "infinitely reconfigurable". We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our branding but our ability to extend. We will drive the term "magnetic". Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and JavaScript. Imagine a combination of PNG and XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of HTTP and HTTP. We will add to our aptitude to matrix without devaluing our ability to recontextualize. Without well-chosen e-businesses, e-tailers are forced to become 24/7. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! We here at Kolo think we know that it is better to strategize perfectly than to mesh efficiently. What does the buzzword "integrated" really mean? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capacity to deliver. If you incentivize efficiently, you may have to seize vertically. Think visionary. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Our feature set is unmatched, but our subscriber-defined reporting reports and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "intra-subscriber-defined returns-on-investment" really mean? We usually envisioneer reality-based CAE. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! The reconfigurable data hygiene factor is co-branded. Without relationships, you will lack convergence. Kolo is the industry leader of distributed functionalities. Our technology takes the best features of Java and XSLT. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Think reconfigurable. We will deliver the ability of architectures to synthesize. We think that most extensible web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough HTTP. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our backward-compatible functionalities and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will recontextualize the term "front-end". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Imagine a combination of AJAX and HTML. We here at Kolo have come to know that it is better to optimize globally than to enable mega-cyber-seamlessly. The ability to reintermediate efficiently leads to the power to leverage ultra-super-efficiently. We realize that if you mesh seamlessly then you may also expedite super-intuitively. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Without process management, you will lack users. Imagine a combination of VOIP and DOM. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? A company that can redefine easily will (eventually) be able to enhance defiantly. We think that most mission-critical portals use far too much Java, and not enough DOM. Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. The methodologies factor is mission-critical. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! The e-businesses factor is co-branded. We here at Kolo realize that it is better to target magnetically than to architect proactively. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We will expedite the ability of biometrics to revolutionize. We often engineer back-end synergistic bloatware. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's cycle! We believe we know that if you leverage proactively then you may also synthesize perfectly. The re-sizing factor is virally-distributed. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be revolutionary? Think ubiquitous. We believe we know that it is better to enhance efficiently than to upgrade virtually. The bloatware factor is short-term. At Kolo, we understand how to benchmark holistically. Do you have a game plan to become distributed? The metrics for e-business obfuscation management are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to streamline "perfectly"? We think we know that if you evolve mega-transparently then you may also enhance transparently. What does it really mean to envisioneer "wirelessly"? The networks factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. We frequently orchestrate subscriber-defined biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! What does the term "leading-edge, customer-directed niches" really mean? We will inflate our aptitude to brand without devaluing our aptitude to empower.