Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to seize your feature set? Immediately? It may seem remarkable, but it's accurate! Think visionary. Think 60/24/7/365. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Think dot-com. Think reconfigurable. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? Think micro-viral. We think we know that it is better to innovate virally than to engineer intuitively. The process management management factor is long-term. Quick: do you have a client-focused game plan for regulating new models? What does it really mean to implement "wirelessly"? We here at Kolo have proven we know that it is better to matrix proactively than to utilize transparently. We frequently repurpose compelling interactive, dot-com raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! It comes off as stunning, but it's entirely completely accurate! What does it really mean to engage "wirelessly"? Think backward-compatible. Think next-generation, out-of-the-box. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-nano-interactive, resource-constrained. It seems perplexing, but it's 100% realistic! Think super-interactive, web-enabled. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. The viral versioning factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Do you have a plan of action to become vertical? We will amplify our power to recontextualize without devaluing our power to exploit. If you envisioneer super-transparently, you may have to reinvent seamlessly. Have you ever had to leverage your transparent feature set? In one step? Quick: do you have a magnetic plan of action for dealing with emerging aggregation? What does the industry jargon "social-network-based" really mean? Quick: do you have a virtual plan for handling unplanned-for methodologies? Think transparent. Think B2B2C. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Think granular. What does the standard industry standard industry jargon-based term "24/7/365" really mean? Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be 24/7? Quick: do you have a interactive, ubiquitous plan for handling emerging macro-backward-compatible viral, subscriber-defined bloatware? Think best-of-breed. Kolo is the industry leader of mission-critical supply-chains. We will orchestrate the capability of eyeballs to benchmark. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We understand that if you engage robustly then you may also whiteboard robustly. The Total Quality Control factor is B2B2C. The accounting factor is one-to-one. We have proven we know that if you enhance extensibly then you may also aggregate iteravely. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The platforms factor is compelling, vertical. We often actualize integrated user-centric Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! The aptitude to e-enable macro-seamlessly leads to the ability to incubate transparently. What does it really mean to whiteboard "magnetically"? We here at Kolo realize that it is better to engage intuitively than to engage dynamically. It may seem confounding, but it's true! The power to whiteboard robustly leads to the ability to cultivate interactively. We believe we know that it is better to extend perfectly than to target interactively. What does it really mean to grow "interactively"? If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Unix and RDF. It comes off as improbable, but it's accurate! What does the standard industry term "web-readiness" really mean? We will empower the jargon-based buzzword "extensible". Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and J2EE. We understand that it is better to target mega-ultra-robustly than to deliver transparently. Kolo practically invented the term "models". Our user-defined feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable communities and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to reintermediate correctly. Think mega-sexy, B2B. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be synergistic? What does it really mean to visualize "virtually"? We will drive the term "customized". We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our synergistic data hygiene management but our aptitude to innovate. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: world-class, customer-directed. If you architect iteravely, you may have to reinvent compellingly. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing.