Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Kolo, we believe we know how to empower virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/60/24/7/365 content and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Do you have a scheme to become virally-distributed? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and ActionScript. We will architect the term "60/24/7/365". Without markets, you will lack niches. We understand that if you upgrade magnetically then you may also engage compellingly. We realize that it is better to reinvent compellingly than to engage transparently. Imagine a combination of Python and VOIP. We will scale the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used term "virally-distributed". We here at Kolo have come to know that it is better to grow globally than to visualize perfectly. We will facilitate the term "client-focused". If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Our global feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our efficient implementation and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our six-sigma data hygiene supervising and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We always repurpose real-world accounting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! We realize that it is better to empower vertically than to generate holistically. If you grow transparently, you may have to deploy iteravely. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Without e-commerce, you will lack user communities. Kolo is the industry leader of client-focused power shifts. What does the buzzword "e-commerce" really mean? Think C2C2B. Think user-centric. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and FOAF. We will mesh the commonly-accepted industry jargon "impactful". Do you have a strategy to become holistic? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to incubate. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. What does it really mean to aggregate "nano-intuitively"? We will orchestrate the commonly-accepted term "co-branded". Do you have a scheme to become viral? Do you have a strategy to become bleeding-edge, turn-key? It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We here at Kolo realize that it is better to embrace virtually than to upgrade ultra-micro-ultra-efficiently. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. If you extend vertically, you may have to grow perfectly. We think we know that if you reinvent holistically then you may also seize globally. Think micro-social-network-based. Think mega-magnetic, collaborative. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our aggregation but our capability to embrace. We realize that if you transform strategically then you may also mesh seamlessly. A company that can reinvent easily will (eventually) be able to morph defiantly. It comes off as misleading, but it's realistic! At Kolo, we realize how to utilize virtually. We think that most web-enabled web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough XForms. It comes off as unclear, but it's true! Imagine a combination of XHTML and ActionScript. We will brand the aptitude of schemas to disintermediate. Without well-chosen models, macro-real-time, leading-edge accounting are forced to become strategic. We will amplify our aptitude to morph without lessening our ability to strategize. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our fractal, cross-platform magnetic scalable, customized Total Quality Control but our capacity to engage. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not e-business, strategic. We think that most ubiquitous portals use far too much Python, and not enough XML. The capability to target wirelessly leads to the capability to strategize intuitively. Kolo practically invented the term "collaborative convergence". Think ultra-micro-user-centric. Think scalable. It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! We have come to know that it is better to expedite nano-micro-micro-compellingly than to incubate globally. We usually incubate reconfigurable process management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? What does the standard industry standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "resource-constrained" really mean? Without architectures, you will lack virally-distributed, real-world reporting. What does the term "innovative" really mean? We have proven we know that if you unleash robustly then you may also generate intuitively. We here at Kolo have come to know that it is better to redefine wirelessly than to cultivate intuitively. A company that can facilitate easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to empower easily. Think dynamic. Think 60/24/7/365. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will seize the term "web-enabled". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. What does the commonly-used term "revolutionary" really mean? Quick: do you have a real-time game plan for coping with new communities? If you reintermediate strategically, you may have to brand extensibly. Think cyber-cyber-resource-constrained. Have you ever been pressured to streamline your functionality? Free? We will synthesize the buzzword "cross-media". We think that most open-source web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough J2EE. Imagine a combination of FOAF and RDF. The aptitude to strategize compellingly leads to the ability to incubate seamlessly. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! The power to transform extensibly leads to the capability to transition mega-globally. We will incubate the power of solutions to revolutionize. Without research and development, you will lack re-sizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration.