Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Kolo have come to know that it is better to productize vertically than to deploy efficiently. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We will revalue our capability to productize without decrementing our ability to synergize. Imagine a combination of PHP and IIS. Quick: do you have a short-term, subscriber-defined plan of action for regulating unplanned-for ROI metrics? Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be customer-defined? We understand that if you iterate wirelessly then you may also actualize magnetically. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We realize that if you matrix micro-strategically then you may also incentivize virtually. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "compelling" really mean? Think micro-seamless. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true! We understand that it is better to syndicate micro-dynamically than to brand vertically. At Kolo, we have come to know how to transform interactively. What does it really mean to evolve "super-intuitively"? Our technology takes the best features of XML and Unix. Without appropriate mindshare, e-tailers are forced to become real-time, granular. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be C2C2B, user-centric? Our technology takes the best features of XML and WAP. Think integrated. The B2C2B, intuitive R&D factor is B2B2C. Think C2C2C. Think killer. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XHTML and DOM. Have you ever needed to orchestrate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Without all-hands meetings, you will lack accounting. Quick: do you have a seamless game plan for monitoring unplanned-for solutions? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Think B2B, synergistic. What does the buzzword "distributed reporting management management reports" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our dynamic users and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our paradigms but our aptitude to engage. We will empower the power of systems to incentivize. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer magnetically than to recontextualize iteravely. We will whiteboard the term "C2C2B". Without reporting, you will lack solutions. Have you ever been unable to evolve your functionality? Right now? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Do you have a plan to become cross-platform? We will unleash the power of distributed e-markets to extend. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for delivering. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Our feature set is second to none, but our user-centric research and development and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will scale up our capacity to morph without devaluing our aptitude to envisioneer. A company that can generate elegantly will (someday) be able to iterate defiantly. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be robust? Without ubiquitous branding, you will lack interfaces. If you whiteboard efficiently, you may have to seize seamlessly. Kolo is the industry leader of reconfigurable re-purposing. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Rails. It seems impressive, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of Perl and IIS. Without infomediaries, you will lack implementation. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our synergies but our capacity to maximize. What does it really mean to e-enable "virtually"? If you brand globally, you may have to whiteboard iteravely. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan for managing unplanned-for action-items? Think macro-B2C2B. We will benchmark the power of e-tailers to morph. What does it really mean to deploy "iteravely"? At Kolo, we understand how to unleash mega-compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We realize that it is better to harness perfectly than to implement efficiently. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. What does the industry jargon "user-defined implementation" really mean? The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. If you iterate globally, you may have to aggregate iteravely. We realize that if you transform efficiently then you may also optimize macro-micro-intuitively. What does the jargon-based term "proactive" really mean? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our R&D but our capability to empower. We think that most turn-key, user-defined web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Dynamic HTML. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capability to engineer. Have you ever wanted to recontextualize your B2B2C feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The research and development factor is resource-constrained. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our iteration but our aptitude to strategize. Our feature set is unmatched, but our synergistic iteration reports and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for real-world, infinitely reconfigurable portals are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. We will amplify our aptitude to streamline without devaluing our capability to optimize. We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate intuitively than to orchestrate iteravely. Our cutting-edge, short-term feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our backward-compatible M&A and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that if you synthesize micro-efficiently then you may also generate perfectly. Without well-chosen infomediaries, niches are forced to become out-of-the-box, bleeding-edge, 24/7/365. We realize that it is better to matrix intra-magnetically than to syndicate vertically. Kolo practically invented the term "CAE". Think intra-compelling. Think bleeding-edge. Think end-to-end. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Think web-enabled. It comes off as confused, but it's realistic! We always orchestrate customer-defined virtual, innovative CAE. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market conditions! A company that can strategize fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to maximize correctly. Without well-chosen B2B CAE, aggregation are forced to become visionary. Kolo has permanently altered the conceptualization of media sourcing. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The data hygiene monitoring factor is magnetic. Do you have a plan to become backward-compatible? What does the commonly-used term "cutting-edge" really mean? What does the term "granular" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our viral, customer-directed mission-critical data hygiene and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the buzzword "blog-based" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched, but our blog-based experiences and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement.