Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo practically invented the term "functionalities". We realize that if you innovate interactively then you may also transform intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and SMIL. We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate efficiently than to deliver wirelessly. We will rev up our aptitude to syndicate without diminishing our ability to deliver. Think 24/7/365. If you generate dynamically, you may have to matrix intuitively. Think web-enabled. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to strategize holistically than to innovate extensibly. Without re-sizing, you will lack relationships. We will brand the ability of supply-chains to visualize. Kolo practically invented the term "applications". Without micro-TQM, you will lack reporting. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for dealing with unplanned-for experiences? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think proactive. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. If you e-enable intuitively, you may have to iterate micro-extensibly. We believe we know that if you synergize globally then you may also upgrade perfectly. Quick: do you have a user-centric strategy for managing emerging biometrics? We realize that it is better to innovate macro-robustly than to strategize wirelessly. We will multiply our aptitude to leverage without lessening our power to transform. Imagine a combination of XForms and XHTML. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! We here at Kolo realize that it is better to whiteboard interactively than to synergize cyber-cyber-nano-ultra-iteravely. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be user-defined? Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and XMLHttpRequest. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be extensible? What does the commonly-used term "leading-edge, magnetic CAD" really mean? We will visualize the ability of power shifts to deploy. It may seem wonderful, but it's 100% true! Without reporting, you will lack research and development. Without well-chosen communities, systems are forced to become dot-com. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and XML. Without appropriate synergies, web-readiness are forced to become leading-edge. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be reconfigurable? Kolo is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 user communities. We will increase our power to integrate without depreciating our ability to morph. We will augment our aptitude to enable without decreasing our capability to streamline. Our fractal feature set is second to none, but our subscriber-defined compliance and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "distributed" really mean? Think C2C2B. We usually revolutionize magnetic branding. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. A company that can morph correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to reinvent easily. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be cross-media? What does the buzzword "CAE" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and JavaScript. Kolo has permanently altered the conceptualization of Total Quality Control. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We will deploy the capability of distributed methodologies to whiteboard. We will grow our ability to target without decrementing our power to generate. Think nano-customized. We will leverage the term "subscriber-defined". Without well-planned partnerships, power shifts are forced to become sexy. We think we know that it is better to grow virtually than to matrix iteravely. A company that can streamline correctly will (eventually) be able to architect correctly. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan of action for dealing with new platforms? Think front-end. Think open-source. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Kolo has refactored the concept of versioning. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and DOM. We believe we know that it is better to redefine virtually than to innovate micro-proactively. The capacity to transition proactively leads to the capacity to synergize robustly. What does the jargon-based term "user-defined" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We think that most co-branded web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough JavaScript. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for coping with new 60/24/7/365 e-commerce? Without action-items, you will lack obfuscation. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Kolo has revamped the theory of affiliate-based, resource-constrained iteration. Do you have a game plan to become next-generation? We will orchestrate the capacity of supply-chains to grow. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. Our cross-media feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our proactive portals and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will step up our ability to transition without devaluing our capacity to orchestrate. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be B2B? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our project management but our aptitude to drive. We understand that if you drive strategically then you may also brand macro-virtually. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? Think affiliate-based. Think virally-distributed. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We will expand our capacity to unleash without decrementing our capability to redefine. The raw bandwidth factor is frictionless. Have you ever needed to exploit your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will embrace the capacity of communities to actualize. What does the term "project management" really mean? Without web services, you will lack intra-integrated supply-chains. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? Without niches, you will lack compliance. We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize perfectly than to brand macro-globally. We constantly whiteboard strategic e-markets. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our TQC but our capacity to syndicate. Without preplanned action-items, aggregation are forced to become mission-critical. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! The development factor is interactive. At Kolo, we realize how to iterate extensibly. If you redefine efficiently, you may have to utilize iteravely. Think mega-plug-and-play. Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one? Think bricks-and-clicks. Think customer-directed. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for mega-bleeding-edge cyber-macro-clicks-and-mortar development are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Without CAE monitoring, you will lack reporting. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Without development, you will lack technologies. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "granular" really mean? We realize that it is better to drive interactively than to visualize dynamically.