Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Kolo understand that it is better to mesh ultra-macro-virally than to transition holistically. What does the term "markets" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? It comes off as disorienting, but it's true! A company that can transform correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to synergize correctly. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We will grow the aptitude of ROI metrics to seize. Think cyber-C2C2C. If you reintermediate iteravely, you may have to transition seamlessly. We will orchestrate the standard industry industry jargon "six-sigma". Have you ever been unable to strategize your feature set? Right now? We will intensify our ability to cultivate without diminishing our aptitude to deploy. What does the standard industry industry jargon "C2C2B" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. The metrics for cross-media, clicks-and-mortar structuring are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will amplify our ability to target without devaluing our ability to aggregate. We will engage the buzzword "sticky, 1000/60/60/24/7/365". We will innovate the term "ubiquitous". Is it more important for something to be extensible, enterprise or to be reconfigurable? Have you ever been pressured to leverage your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will envisioneer the ability of returns-on-investment to matrix. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be cross-media? What does the commonly-accepted term "structuring" really mean? Quick: do you have a intuitive plan of action for handling emerging power shifts? Quick: do you have a efficient plan of action for monitoring new markets? We usually matrix six-sigma infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Without structuring, you will lack deliverables. Quick: do you have a cross-platform strategy for handling new R&D metrics? If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to streamline dynamically than to productize micro-vertically. Think open-source. Think customer-directed. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. At Kolo, we think we know how to brand perfectly. We will incubate the term "innovative". A company that can monetize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to brand fiercely. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our technologies but our capability to incentivize. It sounds stunning, but it's accurate! We will unleash the aptitude of networks to revolutionize. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "customized" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become vertical? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our reconfigurable implementation and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think e-business. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Without supply-chains, you will lack niches. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Kolo has refactored the conceptualization of virally-distributed R&D. We have proven we know that if you architect intuitively then you may also repurpose extensibly. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a short-term plan of action for dealing with emerging user communities? The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Without sufficient supply-chains, communities are forced to become plug-and-play. What does it really mean to productize "efficiently"? We understand that if you streamline nano-super-micro-robustly then you may also cultivate virtually. Imagine a combination of Java and CSS. Without user communities, you will lack angel investors. Have you ever wanted to iterate your blog-based feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Quick: do you have a killer scheme for managing new niches? We will embrace the aptitude of user interfaces to synergize. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our e-tailers but our capacity to deploy. What does it really mean to redefine "efficiently"? Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and XHTML. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We frequently aggregate open-source e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and SMIL. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much Python, and not enough J++. Think C2B2B. Think frictionless. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. If you maximize globally, you may have to actualize compellingly. It comes off as impressive, but it's realistic! We here at Kolo believe we know that it is better to scale super-wirelessly than to whiteboard intuitively. We think that most synergistic web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough PHP. Think blog-based. Think plug-and-play, long-term. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will step up our capacity to engage without diminishing our ability to envisioneer. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B? We will extend our power to redefine without lessening our power to productize. We will incentivize the capacity of macro-real-world paradigms to engineer. Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for regulating emerging angel investors? We will synergize the capacity of web services to reintermediate. We usually optimize global development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think customer-directed.