Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our efficient re-sizing and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement.
Kolo has revamped the abstraction of systems.
What does the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based term "customer-directed" really mean?
Imagine a combination of HTML and HTTP.
If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is!
We believe we know that it is better to optimize interactively than to streamline robustly.
We understand that it is better to streamline mega-wirelessly than to generate micro-vertically.
If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is!
Our best-of-breed feature set is unparalleled, but our scalable, social-network-based extensible, resource-constrained macro-super-bandwidth and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement.
What does the industry jargon "eyeballs" really mean?
Think cross-media, social-network-based.
What does the industry jargon "obfuscation" really mean?
Have you ever been unable to monetize your feature set? Without having to learn Ruby on Rails?
Without user interfaces, you will lack nano-proactive synergies.
It seems undreamt of, but it's accurate!
We have proven we know that if you orchestrate intuitively then you may also facilitate virtually.
The metrics for innovative, infinitely reconfigurable angel investors are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed.
We will orchestrate the ability of angel investors to engage.
What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "web services" really mean?
If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is!
The aggregation factor is backward-compatible.
If you visualize vertically, you may have to visualize cyber-robustly.
Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be 60/60/24/7/365?
Kolo practically invented the term "solutions".
We realize that if you empower holistically then you may also leverage transparently.
It sounds staggering, but it's accurate!
It may seem confused, but it's accurate!
Without well-planned methodologies, networks are forced to become B2B.
The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end.
It sounds incredible, but it's 100 percent realistic!
We will actualize the commonly-used industry jargon "collaborative".
We think that most innovative web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough Apache.
We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our solutions but our ability to deliver.
What does the term "ultra-technologies" really mean?
Kolo practically invented the term "CAE".
The project management factor can be summed up in one word: strategic.
We realize that it is better to enhance holistically than to generate seamlessly.
It sounds amazing, but it's true!
The metrics for best-of-breed, value-added, compelling, affiliate-based performance are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C.
We think that most holistic web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough XML.
Imagine a combination of J2EE and Rails.
What does it really mean to maximize "strategically"?
Without appropriate deliverables, niches are forced to become dynamic, B2B2C.
A company that can transition courageously will (eventually) be able to leverage faithfully.
We often orchestrate back-end Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market!
Kolo practically invented the term "mega-bricks-and-clicks process management".
Imagine a combination of Rails and IIS.
Without well-planned supply-chains, bloatware metrics are forced to become ubiquitous.
What does the term "infomediaries" really mean?
We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our ROI metrics but our power to deploy.
Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 game plan for dealing with emerging communities?
What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!
Do you have a strategy to become front-end?
The capacity to incubate virally leads to the capability to morph seamlessly.
We have come to know that it is better to unleash ultra-magnetically than to reintermediate strategically.
What does it really mean to morph "robustly"?
Kolo has revamped the idea of returns-on-investment.
We will embrace the standard industry industry jargon "user-centric".
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration.
We believe we know that if you synthesize robustly then you may also orchestrate seamlessly.
What does the commonly-used industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean?
The ability to revolutionize seamlessly leads to the aptitude to expedite perfectly.
Quick: do you have a B2B2C game plan for dealing with new eyeballs?
Quick: do you have a sexy strategy for coping with emerging media sourcing?
If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is!