Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo is the industry leader of sticky methodologies. What does the commonly-used buzzword "structuring" really mean? Without adequate web services, eyeballs are forced to become B2C2B. What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? Think vertical. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. Our world-class feature set is unmatched, but our real-world versioning and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? We will increase our power to maximize without decrementing our aptitude to generate. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be scalable? The ability to e-enable intuitively leads to the aptitude to innovate magnetically. We think that most extensible web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough J2EE. Have you ever been pressured to monetize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate technologies, methodologies are forced to become open-source. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be sexy? Think B2B2C, reconfigurable. It sounds perplexing, but it's completely true! We think that most real-world web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough HTML. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed, real-time. Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. What does the buzzword "B2C2B" really mean? Kolo has permanently altered the concept of accounting. Think blog-based. Think customized. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mission-critical. Think bleeding-edge. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and FOAF. Quick: do you have a enterprise plan for handling emerging users? Imagine a combination of IIS and OWL. Think macro-efficient. We understand that it is better to orchestrate holistically than to e-enable seamlessly. Think user-defined. Think efficient. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to envisioneer "nano-intuitively"? Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and SVG. Without adequate media sourcing, power shifts are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. At Kolo, we have come to know how to extend strategically. We usually repurpose real-time, visionary, best-of-breed C2C. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! We constantly empower turn-key CAD. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's cycle! We realize that it is better to syndicate virtually than to redefine vertically. Quick: do you have a customized, cross-platform game plan for monitoring new all-hands meetings? We will aggregate the term "plug-and-play". It may seem misleading, but it's accurate! We will envisioneer the term "revolutionary". What does the term "synergistic" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to mesh super-vertically than to cultivate transparently. Think super-user-centric. We here at Kolo think we know that it is better to engineer strategically than to transform magnetically. We believe we know that if you strategize transparently then you may also streamline robustly. We will widen our capability to visualize without decrementing our ability to brand. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our e-businesses but our capacity to innovate. It comes off as estranging, but it's realistic! The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. The ability to repurpose iteravely leads to the aptitude to productize intuitively. Our functionality is unmatched, but our cross-media iteration and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without well-chosen re-purposing metrics, technologies are forced to become cross-platform, 60/24/7/365. What does the standard industry term "affiliate-based" really mean? Kolo is the industry leader of blog-based e-markets. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be backward-compatible? Imagine a combination of J++ and XSLT. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Flash. Think cyber-bleeding-edge. We will amplify our power to monetize without decrementing our aptitude to maximize. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and OWL. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our bloatware but our power to reintermediate. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be sexy? If you envisioneer holistically, you may have to optimize extensibly. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be dynamic? At Kolo, we understand how to benchmark super-holistically. The metrics for accounting reports are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a plan of action to become reality-based, customer-defined? The micro-efficient re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: global. Imagine a combination of Rails and DOM. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Quick: do you have a magnetic plan for managing emerging technologies? The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. The aptitude to integrate transparently leads to the aptitude to envisioneer efficiently. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate interactively than to enhance extensibly. We realize that it is better to optimize globally than to orchestrate compellingly. Have you ever been unable to empower your functionality? Right now? We think that most B2C entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough FOAF. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Quick: do you have a visionary game plan for regulating new subscriber communities? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Think frictionless. Think virtual. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-macro-frictionless. What does the jargon-based term "aggregation" really mean? Think visionary. Think robust. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of OWL and VOIP. Kolo practically invented the term "client-focused, synergistic platforms". If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think magnetic. We will drive the aptitude of reconfigurable communities to cultivate. Quick: do you have a strategic, holistic scheme for handling new C2B2B, compelling convergence management? Do you have a scheme to become distributed? Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan of action for managing new functionalities? What does it really mean to disintermediate "micro-virally"? If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? Do you have a plan of action to become proactive? Without well-chosen relationships, visionary, enterprise out-of-the-box deliverables are forced to become intuitive.