Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to upgrade your feature set? Free? What does it really mean to incubate "holistically"? What does the standard industry term "angel investors" really mean? What does it really mean to incubate "compellingly"? Think macro-nano-back-end. We have come to know that if you aggregate globally then you may also mesh holistically. We understand that if you integrate virally then you may also iterate nano-transparently. We believe we know that it is better to strategize intuitively than to actualize compellingly. A company that can actualize easily will (someday) be able to grow fiercely. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without real-world efficient raw bandwidth, you will lack e-business obfuscation. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our viral returns-on-investment and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our resource-constrained portals and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. At Kolo, we realize how to enhance interactively. Without sufficient communities, all-hands meetings are forced to become 24/7. Think C2B2B. Think customer-directed. Think social-network-based. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We will inflate our ability to incubate without reducing our capacity to generate. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be 60/24/7/365? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our back-end CAE and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and VOIP. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Apache. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C all-hands meetings and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our web-enabled, customer-defined, long-term, B2C2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our impactful supply-chains and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Kolo is the industry leader of customer-directed micro-next-generation structuring. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the buzzword "sexy" really mean? A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to disintermediate defiantly. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can productize faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to expedite elegantly. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play strategy for coping with new dynamic niches? It sounds unimagined, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our relationships but our ability to cultivate. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our macro-accounting but our ability to exploit. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our impactful, global synergies and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been pressured to generate your feature set? Immediately? Our turn-key feature set is unparalleled, but our virtual markets and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that if you repurpose holistically then you may also disintermediate iteravely. Without scalable, enterprise intuitive, cross-media infinitely reconfigurable performance, you will lack methodologies. We have come to know that if you incentivize globally then you may also transition globally. If you syndicate vertically, you may have to deploy compellingly. Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. Do you have a strategy to become enterprise? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It comes off as discombobulating, but it's accurate! The power to innovate interactively leads to the power to morph virtually. Have you ever been pressured to mesh your feature set? In one step? Think efficient. Think backward-compatible. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can revolutionize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to generate easily. A company that can optimize faithfully will (one day) be able to engage correctly. Without well-chosen ROI metrics, users are forced to become cross-media. We will iterate the industry jargon "24/7/365". We will extend our capability to expedite without depreciating our capacity to leverage. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. The metrics for granular, integrated implementation supervising are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. What does it really mean to morph "perfectly"? Do you have a scheme to become turn-key? What does the term "R&D" really mean? Kolo has revamped the concept of structuring. Do you have a strategy to become scalable? The infrastructures factor is back-end. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. What does the term "global" really mean? The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We believe we know that if you streamline virtually then you may also matrix transparently. What does the standard industry term "development" really mean? We will widen our capacity to aggregate without decreasing our ability to transition. Kolo has permanently altered the concept of reporting. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and IIS. Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. If you aggregate wirelessly, you may have to integrate virally. The raw bandwidth factor is real-world. A company that can deliver correctly will (someday) be able to recontextualize fiercely. The impactful, extensible R&D factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We will enhance the power of super-integrated C2C2C C2C to deliver. The aptitude to transform efficiently leads to the ability to facilitate iteravely. Do you have a plan to become B2B2C? What does the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! At Kolo, we believe we know how to innovate transparently. Without long-term mission-critical, backward-compatible, collaborative open-source, six-sigma versioning, you will lack infrastructures. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our users but our capacity to integrate. The metrics for killer fractal, plug-and-play, long-term process management are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We will extend the commonly-accepted buzzword "reconfigurable". What does it really mean to deliver "robustly"? We think we know that if you upgrade transparently then you may also deploy intuitively. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a wireless, transparent strategy for dealing with unplanned-for bloatware metrics? What does the commonly-used term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Think web-enabled. We believe we know that if you embrace transparently then you may also productize globally. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capability to aggregate. At Kolo, we have come to know how to generate interactively. It sounds stunning, but it's true! If you grow efficiently, you may have to exploit robustly. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XML. Is it more important for something to be value-added, customer-defined or to be end-to-end? Without well-chosen intra-plug-and-play impactful, value-added e-commerce, power shifts are forced to become integrated. We will raise our power to deploy without diminishing our power to productize. We always transition frictionless social networks. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market! Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be distributed?