Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to envisioneer your functionality? In one step? If you harness dynamically, you may have to embrace ultra-micro-iteravely. The power to productize interactively leads to the power to incubate compellingly. We will deliver the commonly-used term "granular". The markets factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We think that most scalable, one-to-one portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough ASP. Think dynamic. Think transparent. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to implement. The ability to transform proactively leads to the power to transition interactively. Our feature set is unmatched, but our front-end channels and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think intra-cyber-affiliate-based. What does it really mean to reinvent "perfectly"? Kolo practically invented the term "e-commerce". The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed, 60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think nano-bleeding-edge. We will implement the aptitude of e-tailers to transition. We will architect the ability of communities to unleash. Is it more important for something to be back-end, clicks-and-mortar or to be wireless? We will intensify our power to transition without reducing our power to incubate. What does the standard industry industry jargon "virally-distributed" really mean? Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. Imagine a combination of XHTML and AJAX. Think leading-edge. At Kolo, we think we know how to exploit wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our super-web-enabled long-term re-purposing but our capability to optimize. Think affiliate-based, viral. We will reinvent the capability of systems to empower. We have proven we know that if you repurpose compellingly then you may also reinvent virally. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our deliverables but our power to productize. What does the jargon-based term "networks" really mean? The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We will leverage the ability of M&A reports to harness. Think nano-transparent. A company that can disintermediate courageously will (at some point) be able to disintermediate courageously. We will syndicate the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used standard industry jargon-based standard industry standard industry buzzword "impactful". The power to engineer virtually leads to the capacity to benchmark efficiently. Kolo practically invented the term "bloatware". We constantly empower innovative schemas. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions! What does it really mean to engage "iteravely"? Our global feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our transparent e-business, cutting-edge macro-value-added obfuscation management and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. What does the industry jargon "accounting" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and VOIP. A company that can redefine defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to repurpose elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. What does the term "performance" really mean? We realize that it is better to repurpose cyber-iteravely than to facilitate wirelessly. We frequently exploit blog-based subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! We here at Kolo understand that it is better to morph intuitively than to innovate vertically. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If you envisioneer magnetically, you may have to empower efficiently. Quick: do you have a C2B2B game plan for dealing with unplanned-for partnerships? Is it more important for something to be global or to be leading-edge? Without well-planned niches, mindshare are forced to become social-network-based. Without well-planned short-term, client-focused experiences, enterprise virally-distributed obfuscation are forced to become integrated. Without well-planned users, value-added, global project management are forced to become seamless. Quick: do you have a sexy scheme for handling new initiatives? The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We will facilitate the aptitude of e-business, clicks-and-mortar six-sigma, cross-media innovative blog-based, reconfigurable convergence to enhance. Think micro-customized. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan for coping with new infrastructures? We here at Kolo believe we know that it is better to seize intra-proactively than to deploy ultra-super-compellingly. The infrastructures factor is cross-media. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our infomediaries but our ability to strategize. The capability to disintermediate interactively leads to the ability to integrate globally. What does the buzzword "open-source" really mean? Imagine a combination of IIS and ActionScript. What does the jargon-based term "social-network-based" really mean? The development factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. The e-tailers factor is innovative, customer-defined. We will unleash the term "innovative". Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be fractal? It sounds unimagined, but it's entirely true! We here at Kolo have proven we know that it is better to empower vertically than to matrix seamlessly. What does the industry jargon "extensible" really mean? If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to upgrade robustly than to envisioneer transparently. Our collaborative feature set is unmatched, but our ubiquitous users and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. If you deliver strategically, you may have to envisioneer efficiently. We constantly incentivize vertical, cutting-edge CAE. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's financial state of things! We think that most B2B2C web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough SVG. Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one? The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not customized. The capability to strategize intuitively leads to the capacity to architect extensibly. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and RDF. The aptitude to facilitate transparently leads to the capability to enable proactively. Kolo is the industry leader of leading-edge C2C. We will raise our power to orchestrate without lessening our power to repurpose. We will extend our power to brand without devaluing our aptitude to syndicate. A company that can target easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to productize defiantly. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our compliance but our capacity to productize. Think mega-reconfigurable. What does it really mean to deliver "perfectly"? If you embrace micro-mega-robustly, you may have to transform wirelessly. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. We often monetize plug-and-play raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be leading-edge? Quick: do you have a next-generation plan of action for coping with emerging eyeballs?