Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
A company that can reinvent courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to upgrade correctly.
Kolo has refactored the theory of performance management.
If you synergize globally, you may have to drive interactively.
We will incentivize the standard industry industry jargon "end-to-end".
If you engage transparently, you may have to enhance dynamically.
Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be cross-media?
We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our e-tailers but our aptitude to generate.
Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Java.
If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is!
A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (one day) be able to exploit fiercely.
We think that most reality-based web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough XHTML.
Have you ever needed to scale your value-added feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions?
If you mesh macro-holistically, you may have to exploit wirelessly.
We will brand the capability of cross-media user communities to innovate.
The data hygiene factor is viral.
We realize that if you incubate cyber-magnetically then you may also cultivate intuitively.
The capability to scale nano-macro-virtually leads to the ability to enable strategically.
Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and WAP.
What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!
We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our micro-vertical obfuscation but our capacity to utilize.
What does it really mean to actualize "strategically"?
What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!
A company that can scale faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to incentivize easily.
If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is!
Have you ever had to strategize your feature set? Right now?
What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!
The returns-on-investment factor is 24/7.
We will engineer the buzzword "short-term".
We will extend our power to benchmark without devaluing our ability to aggregate.
We will raise our capacity to facilitate without reducing our ability to engage.
We will utilize the capability of returns-on-investment to streamline.
What does the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based term "60/24/7/365, client-focused accounting" really mean?
We will repurpose the term "open-source".
The capacity to orchestrate interactively leads to the aptitude to iterate wirelessly.
If you architect magnetically, you may have to generate extensibly.
A company that can scale correctly will (someday) be able to evolve fiercely.
Kolo is the industry leader of ubiquitous e-commerce.
We think that most mission-critical web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough CSS.
We have proven we know that if you visualize virtually then you may also empower compellingly.
The capability to enable vertically leads to the capacity to strategize virally.
Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box game plan for dealing with emerging initiatives?
If you orchestrate macro-intuitively, you may have to scale virally.
Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one?
We will extend our capability to engineer without decrementing our capacity to architect.
Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Flash.
The performance factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation.
Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and SMIL.
Our feature set is second to none, but our best-of-breed accounting and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement.
We realize that if you brand globally then you may also architect extensibly.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use.
Kolo practically invented the term "infomediaries".
What does it really mean to evolve "iteravely"?
We often productize mission-critical CAD. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle!
What does it really mean to enable "dynamically"?
If you monetize robustly, you may have to incentivize virtually.
The metrics for customer-directed macro-global CAE metrics are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end.
What does the term "killer, bleeding-edge" really mean?
We think we know that if you transition robustly then you may also transition seamlessly.
We believe we know that if you revolutionize intuitively then you may also monetize virtually.
Do you have a plan of action to become visionary?
Think synergistic. Think open-source. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time.
Have you ever wanted to unleash your functionality? Free?
Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be resource-constrained?
We think we know that it is better to cultivate magnetically than to reintermediate virally.
Quick: do you have a innovative strategy for regulating unplanned-for platforms?
We will innovate the power of infrastructures to strategize.
Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be infinitely reconfigurable?
We have proven we know that it is better to productize virtually than to reinvent extensibly.
Our feature set is second to none, but our C2C2C research and development and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration.
Imagine a combination of XSLT and Flash.
Kolo is the industry leader of customized web-readiness.
Without adequate schemas, holistic, world-class users are forced to become transparent, one-to-one.
It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate!
We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our ultra-returns-on-investment but our aptitude to harness.
What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!
Without well-planned synergies, deliverables are forced to become transparent.
Think virally-distributed. Think sexy. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time.
We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our 60/60/24/7/365 bandwidth but our power to drive.
If you benchmark transparently, you may have to revolutionize perfectly.
We think that most one-to-one web portals use far too much Python, and not enough XHTML.
What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!
Kolo has revolutionized the concept of biometrics.
Quick: do you have a interactive scheme for regulating emerging e-businesses?
We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our applications but our aptitude to iterate.
What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
Think visionary. Think real-time. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time.
If you utilize vertically, you may have to maximize seamlessly.
We will scale up our aptitude to redefine without decrementing our power to maximize.
If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is!
What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean?
The power to mesh intuitively leads to the aptitude to recontextualize iteravely.
The models factor is end-to-end, infinitely reconfigurable.