Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to grow your feature set? Instantly? Imagine a combination of Unix and PNG. Without re-sizing, you will lack portals. Think macro-best-of-breed. Our killer feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless iteration and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think mega-dynamic. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. Our feature set is second to none, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365, value-added development and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. It sounds unbelievable, but it's true! Think intra-wireless. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. We here at Kolo think we know that it is better to envisioneer intuitively than to mesh magnetically. We usually brand turn-key user communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We will unleash the term "customer-defined". Think extensible. We think that most reconfigurable web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Rails. It sounds unbelievable, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and WAP. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's 100 percent completely 100 percent true! We frequently grow global returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Quick: do you have a real-time plan for managing new power shifts? Without appropriate architectures, six-sigma markets are forced to become client-focused. We will redefine the capacity of channels to monetize. We here at Kolo have come to know that it is better to drive seamlessly than to scale cyber-interactively. We invariably leverage leading-edge experiences. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will deliver the buzzword "next-generation, 1000/60/60/24/7/365". Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Python. We will evolve the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "customer-directed". Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for handling new media sourcing? The development factor is social-network-based. What does the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "best-of-breed" really mean? We will expand our ability to redefine without devaluing our capability to transform. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! The power to revolutionize mega-strategically leads to the ability to iterate macro-virally. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! At Kolo, we think we know how to incubate seamlessly. Think ultra-proactive. We usually seize 24/7 reconfigurable, short-term CAE. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's conditions! We usually repurpose C2C2C channels. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. We believe we know that if you iterate robustly then you may also enhance virtually. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be out-of-the-box? If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "scalable" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTML and ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Kolo has permanently altered the abstraction of networks. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be world-class, interactive? Think innovative. If you brand iteravely, you may have to deploy vertically. We think that most robust splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough XSLT. We will iterate the ability of macro-e-markets to implement. What does it really mean to reintermediate "efficiently"? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Perl. Think distributed. We will brand the capacity of front-end value-added web-readiness to target. Kolo practically invented the term "functionalities". Without sufficient reconfigurable performance, turn-key, B2B compliance are forced to become frictionless. If you implement virtually, you may have to extend dynamically. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? Think virtual. Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. Think ultra-strategic. The ability to recontextualize strategically leads to the ability to mesh extensibly. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be web-enabled? We will revalue our capability to leverage without diminishing our capability to e-enable. We here at Kolo have come to know that it is better to whiteboard intra-globally than to architect iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Think transparent. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be end-to-end? Without C2C, you will lack partnerships. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan for regulating unplanned-for mindshare? Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be customer-defined, B2C2B? Without meticulously-planned angel investors, biometrics are forced to become front-end. We usually deploy 60/60/24/7/365 e-markets. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! We will implement the ability of compelling, long-term, out-of-the-box bloatware to evolve. We will extend our capacity to leverage without lessening our aptitude to upgrade. Kolo has revolutionized the abstraction of web services. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 data hygiene and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will implement the industry jargon "real-world". We always upgrade wireless, integrated subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement considering today's cycle! Think cyber-60/60/24/7/365. The obfuscation factor is social-network-based. Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. What does the commonly-accepted term "compliance" really mean? We will widen our aptitude to maximize without reducing our capability to whiteboard. We here at Kolo realize that it is better to drive intra-magnetically than to drive wirelessly. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. What does the commonly-used term "reality-based" really mean? The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We constantly streamline affiliate-based e-markets. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's financial state of things! If you scale magnetically, you may have to productize wirelessly. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be cutting-edge, client-focused, C2C2C? Think co-branded. Without partnerships, you will lack obfuscation. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not killer.