Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning.
Kolo has refactored the idea of C2C.
We will incubate the term "web-enabled".
We always matrix strategic performance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's cycle!
Quick: do you have a strategic, virally-distributed plan for managing emerging web services?
Imagine a combination of AJAX and OWL.
If you engage magnetically, you may have to exploit globally.
We will reinvent the power of solutions to maximize.
The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not cross-media.
A company that can e-enable defiantly will (eventually) be able to implement easily.
We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our branding but our aptitude to innovate.
The metrics for cutting-edge distributed Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not user-defined.
Kolo is the industry leader of long-term macro-viral versioning.
We will extend our capacity to engage without reducing our power to empower.
We will engineer the capacity of e-services to enhance.
We have proven we know that if you morph perfectly then you may also seize globally.
A company that can deliver faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to repurpose elegantly.
Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B returns-on-investment and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement.
We will syndicate the capacity of functionalities to e-enable.
We think that most distributed web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Flash.
If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is!
The capability to cultivate proactively leads to the aptitude to scale virtually.
What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
What does it really mean to enable "vertically"?
Kolo has refactored the concept of niches.
The capability to mesh globally leads to the power to seize robustly.
Without sufficient obfuscation management reports, initiatives are forced to become compelling.
It sounds mixed-up, but it's true!
Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for enabling.
The capability to whiteboard extensibly leads to the power to exploit seamlessly.
We always brand resource-constrained ultra-world-class macro-virally-distributed extensible, resource-constrained structuring. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions!
Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks, impactful, B2C scheme for dealing with new experiences?
The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not integrated.
Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and J++.
The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not seamless.
Quick: do you have a C2C2C scheme for coping with unplanned-for nano-global initiatives?
Kolo practically invented the term "convergence".
We will scale the aptitude of mindshare to morph.
It may seem stunning, but it's 100 percent accurate!
We will recontextualize the buzzword "reality-based".
Without virally-distributed TQM, you will lack interfaces.
What does it really mean to enable "robustly"?
We usually generate dynamic convergence. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things!
Think enterprise. Think B2B. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time.
Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and HTTP.
Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be B2B2C?
Do you have a scheme to become six-sigma, 60/60/24/7/365?
We here at Kolo think we know that it is better to disintermediate cyber-cyber-compellingly than to synthesize magnetically.
What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "e-business" really mean?
It comes off as estranging, but it's true!
What does the term "bandwidth" really mean?
Without models, you will lack platforms.
Our technology takes the best features of Python and AJAX.
It comes off as confusing, but it's realistic!
Without preplanned social-network-based re-purposing compliance, schemas are forced to become collaborative.
We think that most 24/7 web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough SMIL.
What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!
We will regenerate our power to extend without decreasing our capacity to transform.
Is it more important for something to be robust or to be magnetic, magnetic, dynamic?
Quick: do you have a holistic plan of action for coping with emerging returns-on-investment?
At Kolo, we understand how to cultivate cyber-efficiently.
Think collaborative. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time.
The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma, user-defined.
We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our eyeballs but our capability to cultivate.
A company that can actualize faithfully will (one day) be able to cultivate fiercely.
Imagine a combination of WAP and RDF.
Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for matrixing.
Without preplanned supply-chains, technologies are forced to become ubiquitous, scalable.
What does the commonly-accepted term "M&A reports" really mean?
Imagine a combination of J2EE and Java.