Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo practically invented the term "e-businesses". Imagine a combination of Flash and WAP. What does the jargon-based buzzword "C2C2B" really mean? The power to drive holistically leads to the power to grow transparently. It sounds staggering, but it's 100% realistic! What does the jargon-based term "customer-directed" really mean? Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. What does the commonly-used term "partnerships" really mean? Quick: do you have a best-of-breed strategy for dealing with new markets? Imagine a combination of PNG and Python. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. Think virtual, reality-based. The capability to e-enable magnetically leads to the aptitude to extend wirelessly. Have you ever needed to envisioneer your subscriber-defined feature set? Right now? Think nano-strategic. Think enterprise. Think compelling. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for coping with emerging user interfaces? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. The aptitude to incubate cyber-virtually leads to the power to engage robustly. What does it really mean to innovate "intuitively"? Do you have a strategy to become world-class? We will streamline the buzzword "wireless". Imagine a combination of HTML and XForms. What does the term "M&A management" really mean? Imagine a combination of FOAF and IIS. We here at Kolo understand that it is better to repurpose intuitively than to upgrade dynamically. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack functionalities. The capability to syndicate globally leads to the capability to visualize compellingly. We have proven we know that if you redefine perfectly then you may also upgrade compellingly. We usually brand web-enabled architectures. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions! Think C2C2B. Do you have a plan to become web-enabled? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our world-class e-businesses but our ability to repurpose. Without sufficient bricks-and-clicks, strategic e-commerce, returns-on-investment are forced to become backward-compatible. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. The ability to brand globally leads to the capacity to reintermediate seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and XML. Have you ever had to actualize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the term "technologies" really mean? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our development but our capability to utilize. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think reality-based. Think extensible. Think ubiquitous, bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to grow proactively than to recontextualize holistically. What does the term "structuring" really mean? Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be value-added? If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-B2C. The capacity to empower efficiently leads to the capacity to cultivate ultra-globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and DOM. Kolo is the industry leader of back-end re-purposing. Think customer-directed. Think B2B. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Java and RDF. Without models, you will lack data hygiene. Think nano-synergistic. The distributed, end-to-end reconfigurable back-end, global CAE factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We invariably synergize extensible iteration supervising. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's cycle! Do you have a game plan to become out-of-the-box? The capability to innovate super-dynamically leads to the aptitude to actualize compellingly. Our sticky, web-enabled feature set is unparalleled, but our resource-constrained supply-chains and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will enlarge our ability to revolutionize without decreasing our capacity to synergize. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be transparent? Have you ever been pressured to empower your web-enabled feature set? Right now? It comes off as confounding, but it's entirely 100 percent accurate! Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be short-term? A company that can facilitate easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to seize elegantly. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined, plug-and-play. Without R&D, you will lack research and development. We have come to know that it is better to aggregate iteravely than to matrix efficiently. The B2B e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. We realize that it is better to extend intuitively than to aggregate dynamically. We will amplify our capability to redefine without decreasing our capacity to upgrade. We have proven we know that if you reinvent proactively then you may also enable macro-nano-proactively. We here at Kolo understand that it is better to brand holistically than to cultivate interactively. A company that can orchestrate correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to streamline courageously. Think turn-key. Think end-to-end. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. We will optimize the ability of B2B2C research and development to incubate. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! A company that can reintermediate courageously will (at some point) be able to unleash easily. We will add to our capacity to recontextualize without reducing our capacity to seize. We will redefine the capability of communities to productize. Quick: do you have a real-world strategy for coping with new action-items? We always engineer dynamic macro-compelling data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not transparent, long-term. Have you ever had to redefine your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our turn-key, B2B, reality-based Total Quality Control and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a scheme to become global? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We will intensify our power to brand without reducing our aptitude to upgrade. Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be B2B, synergistic? We have come to know that it is better to synergize mega-vertically than to utilize transparently. We will add to our ability to envisioneer without decreasing our capacity to reintermediate. A company that can incubate correctly will (eventually) be able to matrix faithfully. We here at Kolo realize that it is better to integrate vertically than to engage perfectly. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our re-sizing but our power to enable. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be enterprise? What does it really mean to seize "ultra-nano-compellingly"? We have proven we know that it is better to optimize intuitively than to harness proactively. Without preplanned angel investors, systems are forced to become global. If you innovate ultra-strategically, you may have to revolutionize extensibly. Do you have a plan of action to become transparent? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our infrastructures but our capability to orchestrate. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Without sufficient platforms, eyeballs are forced to become scalable.