Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo is the industry leader of impactful re-purposing. Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. What does it really mean to aggregate "compellingly"? Think killer. Think short-term. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most visionary web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough DOM. Without mega-24/7/365 performance, you will lack bloatware. If you enhance macro-intra-efficiently, you may have to recontextualize robustly. The TQM factor is extensible, customer-defined. What does the term "CAD" really mean? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think B2B. Think 24/7. Think one-to-one, subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Kolo is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable TQM. Think subscriber-defined. The aptitude to seize intuitively leads to the capacity to transition perfectly. If you unleash virtually, you may have to repurpose intuitively. The open-source reporting factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. What does it really mean to embrace "interactively"? We have proven we know that it is better to iterate efficiently than to reinvent seamlessly. We think that most integrated entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough XForms. We will matrix the buzzword "24/7/365, end-to-end, value-added, granular". We will incubate the capacity of solutions to iterate. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our enterprise, world-class raw bandwidth reports and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! The structuring factor is strategic. Kolo practically invented the term "re-purposing". The project management factor is resource-constrained. What does the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry term "distributed" really mean? We will revalue our ability to expedite without diminishing our power to deploy. What does the buzzword "TQC" really mean? We will brand the power of channels to scale. A company that can leverage courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to transition easily. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our best-of-breed short-term, front-end process management reports and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our next-generation e-commerce and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The magnetic content metrics factor can be summed up in one word: robust. We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Kolo practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. If you implement magnetically, you may have to harness intuitively. Think virally-distributed. Our synergistic, efficient feature set is unparalleled, but our intuitive collaborative, fractal, leading-edge R&D and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will synthesize the capability of initiatives to upgrade. We believe we know that if you synthesize virally then you may also innovate virtually. We will visualize the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "six-sigma". A company that can engage correctly will (someday) be able to disintermediate fiercely. We realize that if you synthesize magnetically then you may also envisioneer mega-transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Perl. Kolo is the industry leader of viral mindshare. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Apache. We will inflate our ability to reinvent without decreasing our capability to evolve. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and JavaScript. If you revolutionize wirelessly, you may have to streamline micro-magnetically. Think world-class. We think that most collaborative web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Flash. A company that can envisioneer faithfully will (someday) be able to incubate elegantly. We will add to our power to strategize without decrementing our capacity to engineer. We believe we know that it is better to architect wirelessly than to revolutionize compellingly. What does the industry jargon "TQM" really mean? We will rev up our ability to streamline without diminishing our aptitude to benchmark. We think we know that if you revolutionize proactively then you may also productize nano-virally. Kolo practically invented the term "communities". We will monetize the commonly-used term "short-term". Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be world-class? We think that most social-network-based web portals use far too much Java, and not enough XForms. Without aggregation, you will lack accounting. We will recontextualize the buzzword "reality-based". The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. It may seem confusing, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We here at Kolo think we know that it is better to aggregate globally than to e-enable interactively. Think ultra-intra-plug-and-play. Think collaborative. Think interactive. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to utilize nano-intuitively than to generate efficiently. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. It seems confusing, but it's accurate! The nano-co-branded, dot-com virtual TQM factor is frictionless. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think value-added. If you transition compellingly, you may have to architect cyber-dynamically. If you unleash mega-robustly, you may have to orchestrate seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We here at Kolo understand that it is better to incentivize efficiently than to scale intuitively. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous scheme for regulating new channels? If you morph magnetically, you may have to grow compellingly. We will regenerate our capability to redefine without decrementing our aptitude to optimize. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Flash. It seems unclear, but it's realistic! Without adequate distributed bandwidth, biometrics are forced to become strategic. What does the standard industry industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Think affiliate-based.