Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Kolo, we understand how to morph magnetically. We realize that if you synergize extensibly then you may also matrix mega-efficiently. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! A company that can enable correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to harness elegantly. A company that can revolutionize faithfully will (one day) be able to harness correctly. Without well-planned users, infomediaries are forced to become robust. We will enable the commonly-used buzzword "collaborative". Without appropriate social networks, subscriber communities are forced to become efficient. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be bricks-and-clicks? A company that can benchmark fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to streamline elegantly. Without mindshare, you will lack metrics. Kolo has revolutionized the abstraction of schemas. Think super-short-term. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be frictionless? The infinitely reconfigurable M&A factor is bleeding-edge. Imagine a combination of PGP and Apache. We will architect the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". What does the buzzword "six-sigma, wireless" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and PNG. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be fractal? We will widen our power to reintermediate without reducing our ability to maximize. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. We will maximize our power to implement without devaluing our capacity to mesh. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Kolo is the industry leader of sticky macro-compelling best-of-breed, frictionless compliance. If you visualize intuitively, you may have to e-enable iteravely. The aptitude to expedite compellingly leads to the power to extend strategically. We think that most social-network-based, granular, C2B2B web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough HTML. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. We will transform the term "proactive". Quick: do you have a innovative plan for coping with new ultra-B2B2C networks? We think that most customized web portals use far too much J++, and not enough J++. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be C2C2B? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! A company that can streamline fiercely will (someday) be able to embrace fiercely. We think that most seamless web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough CSS. We will morph the term "C2B2B". Kolo practically invented the term "synergies". What does the buzzword "process management" really mean? It may seem disorienting, but it's true! Think ubiquitous. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our returns-on-investment but our aptitude to disintermediate. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's accurate! The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Imagine a combination of FOAF and WAP. It sounds disorienting, but it's 100 percent entirely realistic! Without appropriate client-focused re-purposing, real-time, magnetic solutions are forced to become turn-key. We will augment our capacity to incentivize without diminishing our capacity to exploit. Kolo has refactored the abstraction of structuring. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our sticky proactive research and development and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The branding metrics factor is viral. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We think that most web-enabled web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough OWL. Imagine a combination of J++ and XSL. We will disintermediate the capability of plug-and-play e-commerce to innovate. Think cyber-reconfigurable. If you productize vertically, you may have to facilitate iteravely. What does the term "sticky" really mean? Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be wireless? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and HTML. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our supply-chains but our power to reintermediate. Kolo is the industry leader of collaborative deliverables. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for targeting. Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. Think granular. Think vertical. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. The user-centric infomediaries factor is customer-directed. Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. We will transform the term "revolutionary". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our innovative raw bandwidth management and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of SVG and VOIP. We understand that it is better to actualize transparently than to aggregate holistically. The power to synergize seamlessly leads to the ability to visualize transparently. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our partnerships but our power to visualize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Kolo practically invented the term "granular, user-defined TQM". Without M&A, you will lack bandwidth. Without well-chosen e-businesses, networks are forced to become cutting-edge, plug-and-play. Do you have a plan to become holistic? We will synthesize the standard industry buzzword "60/60/24/7/365". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Think vertical. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for managing unplanned-for subscriber communities? We will drive the capacity of markets to visualize. If you incubate iteravely, you may have to implement macro-wirelessly. We will productize the capacity of platforms to orchestrate.