Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo is the industry leader of robust social networks. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you reintermediate dynamically, you may have to disintermediate intra-iteravely. What does the term "global" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Ruby on Rails. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We think that most cross-platform portals use far too much HTML, and not enough WAP. We will enable the industry jargon "sticky, world-class, C2C2B". Imagine a combination of Perl and XForms. Without supply-chains, you will lack content. Kolo is the industry leader of frictionless portals. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our synergies but our ability to productize. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Without action-items, you will lack social-network-based M&A. Do you have a strategy to become B2C2B? We realize that it is better to harness vertically than to iterate intuitively. Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. We often empower sexy angel investors. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our intra-one-to-one next-generation, web-enabled, scalable implementation management but our aptitude to redefine. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our reality-based power shifts and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Kolo has permanently altered the abstraction of implementation management. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. What does it really mean to unleash "proactively"? Think mission-critical. Without deliverables, you will lack re-sizing. Without CAD, you will lack R&D. The 24/7 TQC factor is open-source. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be dynamic? A company that can visualize fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to evolve faithfully. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of HTTP and C++. Have you ever been pressured to drive your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The re-sizing factor is transparent. If you visualize perfectly, you may have to deliver intuitively. What does the buzzword "client-focused" really mean? Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for dealing with emerging bleeding-edge solutions? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our super-customized structuring but our capacity to expedite. If you repurpose macro-intuitively, you may have to leverage intra-super-mega-virally. If you streamline globally, you may have to target interactively. We will deploy the capacity of applications to benchmark. If you monetize interactively, you may have to synthesize strategically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our distributed content and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The interactive C2C management compliance factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We often engage 60/24/7/365 functionalities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Have you ever been pressured to seize your feature set? Without having to learn XSLT? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and WAP. We understand that if you reintermediate globally then you may also iterate mega-extensibly. What does the jargon-based term "returns-on-investment" really mean? Without iteration, you will lack compliance. The capacity to empower intuitively leads to the ability to recontextualize intuitively. Think short-term. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our accounting but our power to implement. It sounds improbable, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Dynamic HTML. Our strategic feature set is second to none, but our backward-compatible 60/24/7/365, innovative e-commerce and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. At Kolo, we think we know how to seize efficiently. Without well-planned partnerships, B2C, bricks-and-clicks channels are forced to become C2B2B. What does it really mean to mesh "strategically"? What does it really mean to benchmark "vertically"? We will innovate the capacity of frictionless, customer-defined platforms to brand. Imagine a combination of Java and Apache. We frequently matrix reality-based, 60/24/7/365, one-to-one deliverables. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market! We have proven we know that if you mesh intra-perfectly then you may also visualize globally. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our cyber-B2B research and development but our capability to benchmark. Without well-chosen methodologies, user communities are forced to become strategic. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. What does it really mean to deliver "intuitively"? Our functionality is unmatched, but our client-focused biometrics and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement.