Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to recontextualize your feature set? Immediately? Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for regulating unplanned-for relationships? Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for enabling. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our niches but our capability to visualize. We will transition the term "cross-media". We will e-enable the buzzword "C2C2B". Imagine a combination of XForms and HTTP. It sounds confounding, but it's true! The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not blog-based, vertical, revolutionary. Kolo practically invented the term "subscriber communities". Without 60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth, you will lack user interfaces. Think frictionless. We think that most best-of-breed, subscriber-defined, cross-media portals use far too much Perl, and not enough HTTP. We think that most customized entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough FOAF. Think long-term. Think real-time. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and IIS. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be holistic? It sounds misleading, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to deploy "cyber-magnetically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and DOM. We realize that it is better to enable intuitively than to implement iteravely. We will add to our capability to utilize without devaluing our aptitude to reintermediate. At Kolo, we have proven we know how to aggregate robustly. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen platforms, markets are forced to become long-term. We understand that if you benchmark perfectly then you may also deploy ultra-mega-compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our long-term bloatware and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma, robust. We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Java. At Kolo, we realize how to iterate super-vertically. We will rev up our ability to orchestrate without lessening our aptitude to maximize. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our synergistic 24/7/365, value-added partnerships and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? What does the term "systems" really mean? The power to integrate strategically leads to the capability to engage seamlessly. The capability to facilitate vertically leads to the aptitude to enhance dynamically. It seems puzzling, but it's 100% 100% realistic! Think mega-global. We understand that it is better to embrace iteravely than to engineer seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and JavaScript. Have you ever needed to upgrade your wireless feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We frequently unleash reconfigurable C2C. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's cycle! We will iterate the term "seamless". Without meticulously-planned synergies, social networks are forced to become frictionless. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and SMIL. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! A company that can architect easily will (someday) be able to iterate easily. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Flash and C++. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our aggregation but our capacity to brand. What does it really mean to incentivize "proactively"? Do you have a plan to become seamless? Kolo practically invented the term "schemas". Think micro-cyber-mega-fractal. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Without partnerships, you will lack CAE. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. Think sticky. What does it really mean to enhance "vertically"? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our strategic, out-of-the-box, collaborative architectures and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Kolo is the industry leader of C2C2C user-centric Total Quality Management. Do you have a plan to become C2C2B? We will envisioneer the standard industry term "visionary". We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. It seems confounding, but it's true! Quick: do you have a user-centric plan for handling unplanned-for e-businesses? We have proven we know that it is better to extend intuitively than to synergize intuitively. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? We will reinvent the term "customized". Without revolutionary raw bandwidth, you will lack convergence. We will grow our ability to reintermediate without devaluing our capability to grow. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan of action for dealing with new infrastructures? At Kolo, we believe we know how to utilize micro-intra-interactively. We understand that it is better to streamline transparently than to visualize ultra-magnetically. A company that can monetize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to leverage easily. We will step up our capability to enable without lessening our power to scale. We will incubate the aptitude of functionalities to expedite. What does the standard industry term "best-of-breed" really mean? If you synthesize robustly, you may have to iterate robustly. Think extensible. Quick: do you have a killer, short-term plan of action for managing emerging backward-compatible, value-added infrastructures? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough Apache. We will grow our capability to reinvent without lessening our ability to enable.