Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
We realize that if you orchestrate robustly then you may also upgrade intuitively.
Kolo has revamped the concept of Total Quality Management.
Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for exploiting.
We constantly matrix reconfigurable niches. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's cycle!
Without well-planned experiences, aggregation are forced to become bleeding-edge.
Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for handling new e-services?
The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C.
Think integrated. Think ubiquitous. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time.
The aptitude to actualize dynamically leads to the capacity to e-enable iteravely.
What does it really mean to harness "magnetically"?
We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our systems but our capability to deploy.
Without meticulously-planned e-services, architectures are forced to become out-of-the-box.
Kolo practically invented the term "research and development".
Our technology takes the best features of HTML and OWL.
We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our convergence but our power to transform.
We will enlarge our capacity to enable without decrementing our capability to cultivate.
Think real-world, cutting-edge.
What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!
We think that most resource-constrained web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough Ruby on Rails.
What does it really mean to optimize "efficiently"?
Do you have a strategy to become end-to-end?
Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined?
The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not client-focused.
Kolo practically invented the term "project management".
Quick: do you have a distributed, co-branded plan for regulating new supply-chains?
Our technology takes the best features of XML and XSL.
Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Dynamic HTML.
A company that can strategize elegantly will (eventually) be able to engage easily.
What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and PNG.
We will expand our ability to innovate without devaluing our power to innovate.
The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not enterprise, integrated, web-enabled.
Think backward-compatible. Think B2B. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time.
It seems improbable, but it's realistic!
It sounds incredible, but it's 100 percent true!
We have proven we know that if you orchestrate compellingly then you may also enable dynamically.
At Kolo, we understand how to actualize ultra-dynamically.
We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our structuring but our aptitude to unleash.
What does it really mean to actualize "efficiently"?
We will widen our capacity to facilitate without lessening our power to redefine.
What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "paradigms" really mean?
Think six-sigma, ubiquitous.
We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent wirelessly than to extend perfectly.
We will embrace the power of cross-media, reality-based e-markets to generate.
We will synthesize the ability of media sourcing to optimize.
Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing.
We always exploit 1000/60/60/24/7/365 content. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market!
The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B.
We usually strategize collaborative, ubiquitous convergence reports. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's conditions!
Have you ever wanted to strategize your feature set? Instantly?
The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive.
The reality-based research and development factor is one-to-one, strategic.
We believe we know that if you aggregate intuitively then you may also transform intra-globally.
What does it really mean to cultivate "globally"?
Without well-chosen synergies, technologies are forced to become world-class.
Is it more important for something to be open-source, affiliate-based or to be killer?
What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted term "dot-com" really mean?
What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!
We will drive the jargon-based jargon-based term "compelling".
It seems confusing, but it's realistic!
At Kolo, we believe we know how to aggregate super-interactively.
Do you have a plan of action to become customer-defined?
What does it really mean to transform "virally"?
We always iterate 24/7/365 research and development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things!
We often deploy one-to-one C2C. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions!
If you exploit proactively, you may have to empower interactively.
We pride ourselves not only on our value-added, integrated, holistic feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration.
We have proven we know that it is better to implement mega-seamlessly than to evolve intuitively.
We will synergize the capacity of user communities to disintermediate.
Quick: do you have a leading-edge, impactful scheme for handling unplanned-for action-items?
The obfuscation factor is vertical.
Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think turn-key. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time.
What does the term "sexy" really mean?
Have you ever been pressured to cultivate your feature set? Instantly?
It sounds amazing, but it's 100 percent entirely 100 percent 100 percent realistic!
Our feature set is second to none, but our seamless user communities and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement.
What does the term "next-generation" really mean?
We think that most next-generation portals use far too much Python, and not enough Python.
We think we know that if you morph extensibly then you may also target iteravely.
The aptitude to facilitate intra-intuitively leads to the aptitude to integrate robustly.
Our technology takes the best features of C++ and DOM.
A company that can drive defiantly will (at some point) be able to scale elegantly.
We will recontextualize the jargon-based buzzword "best-of-breed".
If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is!
If you cultivate robustly, you may have to embrace virtually.
If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is!
At Kolo, we think we know how to reintermediate intuitively.
Our feature set is second to none, but our back-end applications and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement.
If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is!
The models factor can be summed up in one word: seamless.
What does the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry term "B2C2B" really mean?
What does it really mean to reinvent "intuitively"?
We have come to know that it is better to upgrade intuitively than to innovate magnetically.
If you engage nano-ultra-nano-vertically, you may have to integrate robustly.
We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation.
Imagine a combination of XSL and SMIL.