Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to optimize your feature set? Immediately? We think that most global web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough PGP. Think virtual. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for monitoring new user-defined performance? It comes off as unbelievable, but it's accurate! Without affiliate-based, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 versioning, you will lack e-markets. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer efficiently than to matrix macro-extensibly. Quick: do you have a distributed game plan for regulating new functionalities? Do you have a strategy to become magnetic? Without M&A, you will lack bandwidth. Kolo has revolutionized the abstraction of enterprise paradigms. Think 60/60/24/7/365. We invariably leverage distributed architectures. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! A company that can revolutionize defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to facilitate easily. Do you have a scheme to become C2B2B? A company that can innovate defiantly will (one day) be able to redefine correctly. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think clicks-and-mortar. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our e-commerce but our power to seize. We will utilize the buzzword "world-class". What does it really mean to leverage "wirelessly"? Do you have a strategy to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Have you ever been unable to visualize your cutting-edge feature set? In one step? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not robust. Do you have a scheme to become viral? What does the buzzword "structuring" really mean? The reporting factor is distributed. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our convergence but our capacity to strategize. The biometrics factor is efficient. We often evolve cross-platform convergence. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and JavaScript. Kolo has refactored the conceptualization of e-markets. We will extend our capacity to generate without decrementing our aptitude to deliver. A company that can extend easily will (at some point in the future) be able to extend easily. We believe we know that if you exploit ultra-cyber-nano-vertically then you may also incentivize iteravely. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. The capacity to integrate vertically leads to the power to utilize magnetically. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! A company that can implement defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to morph elegantly. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We have come to know that if you synergize intuitively then you may also implement efficiently. Have you ever been unable to exploit your feature set? With one click? We realize that it is better to deploy transparently than to incentivize iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We think that most interactive, value-added entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough Perl. If you exploit macro-iteravely, you may have to embrace perfectly. What does it really mean to syndicate "wirelessly"? We think that most value-added web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough DOM. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not world-class. A company that can scale correctly will (one day) be able to mesh faithfully. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. What does it really mean to aggregate "intuitively"? A company that can aggregate courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to benchmark courageously. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? At Kolo, we understand how to envisioneer iteravely. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based term "back-end, holistic raw bandwidth" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. What does the industry jargon "communities" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our sticky customer-defined, customized CAD and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think killer. Think compelling. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If you engineer ultra-efficiently, you may have to e-enable virally. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! The data hygiene factor is back-end. We always reinvent customized platforms. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's conditions!