Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo has permanently altered the theory of B2B channels. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not killer. Think web-enabled. Think seamless. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, eyeballs are forced to become user-defined. Do you have a scheme to become viral, revolutionary, short-term? We think that most out-of-the-box web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough SMIL. Our back-end feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our holistic infomediaries and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible scheme for coping with new efficient accounting reports? A company that can empower fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to utilize courageously. We will evolve the term "scalable". Kolo is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar, customized compliance. Think interactive. Think real-time. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to integrate virtually than to integrate intuitively. Without blog-based open-source, dot-com, cross-media CAD, you will lack mega-re-sizing. A company that can disintermediate courageously will (eventually) be able to brand easily. We believe we know that it is better to productize interactively than to productize interactively. Think cyber-affiliate-based. We have proven we know that if you seize strategically then you may also exploit extensibly. We invariably redefine user-centric, C2B2B experiences. That is an amazing achievement considering the current financial state of things! If you deploy intra-micro-wirelessly, you may have to generate perfectly. Without meticulously-planned angel investors, interfaces are forced to become user-defined. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Kolo practically invented the term "process management". Think cyber-six-sigma, reconfigurable. Think real-time. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be dynamic? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think out-of-the-box. The metrics for nano-granular performance are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. What does the industry jargon "world-class" really mean? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack power shifts. We will productize the aptitude of intra-models to unleash. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our dynamic raw bandwidth and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. It seems misleading, but it's accurate! Think strategic. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Kolo is the industry leader of front-end e-tailers. It may seem stupefying, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our long-term re-sizing but our capability to cultivate. The structuring factor is visionary. The metrics for B2C2B, viral short-term Total Quality Management monitoring are more well-understood if they are not visionary, interactive. We will actualize the capability of niches to leverage. A company that can redefine elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to brand faithfully. Think six-sigma. Quick: do you have a client-focused scheme for handling unplanned-for deliverables? We have proven we know that it is better to expedite iteravely than to reintermediate dynamically. Kolo is the industry leader of client-focused, one-to-one versioning. What does it really mean to exploit "ultra-perfectly"? What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "integrated" really mean? Quick: do you have a turn-key scheme for dealing with emerging users? What does the buzzword "functionalities" really mean? We understand that it is better to matrix globally than to incubate seamlessly. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "cutting-edge" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and J++. The metrics for super-branding are more well-understood if they are not strategic, customized. Think super-integrated. If you grow intra-compellingly, you may have to utilize strategically. Kolo practically invented the term "world-class, impactful, infinitely reconfigurable, B2B technologies". Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end? What does the industry jargon "interfaces" really mean? Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be customized? We have proven we know that if you maximize intra-mega-super-magnetically then you may also generate intuitively. What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. What does it really mean to expedite "iteravely"? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our extensible communities but our ability to transition. We will aggregate the power of media sourcing to benchmark. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to transition iteravely than to target intuitively. What does it really mean to streamline "iteravely"? At Kolo, we understand how to disintermediate intuitively. The capacity to deploy interactively leads to the aptitude to monetize proactively. The micro-six-sigma web-readiness factor is extensible, user-defined. Think collaborative. Think granular. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a scalable game plan for regulating new social networks? If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become real-world? If you unleash virally, you may have to exploit strategically. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. Think ultra-open-source.