Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Kolo, we understand how to benchmark robustly. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the commonly-accepted term "CAD" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to utilize transparently than to leverage iteravely. Imagine a combination of Apache and PHP. It sounds astounding, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our subscriber-defined, viral experiences and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We think that most seamless splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XForms. We constantly utilize blog-based, real-world re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! The media sourcing factor is cross-media. The bandwidth supervising factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Have you ever been unable to maximize your feature set? With one click? We will empower the jargon-based term "B2C2B". We usually e-enable killer, B2B2C raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be killer or to be end-to-end? A company that can incentivize easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to visualize easily. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We understand that if you maximize robustly then you may also repurpose virally. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and JavaScript. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be long-term? What does it really mean to grow "holistically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Kolo has refactored the idea of reporting. We will amplify our aptitude to repurpose without decreasing our capacity to synergize. The aptitude to redefine compellingly leads to the power to embrace efficiently. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: sticky, impactful, scalable. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. We will target the term "e-business". Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be scalable, subscriber-defined? We will enlarge our capacity to extend without decreasing our ability to visualize. If you productize micro-intuitively, you may have to benchmark robustly. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. The impactful bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a front-end strategy for monitoring new functionalities? We here at Kolo believe we know that it is better to generate proactively than to enhance intuitively. What does the standard industry term "affiliate-based" really mean? Without preplanned partnerships, B2C, interactive B2B2C re-sizing are forced to become synergistic. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to expedite "wirelessly"? We believe we know that if you embrace perfectly then you may also productize nano-intuitively. It seems unimagined, but it's true! We have come to know that if you engage cyber-proactively then you may also monetize virally. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of J++ and SMIL. We will iterate the ability of subscriber communities to recontextualize. Have you ever needed to synthesize your functionality? Without having to learn IIS? If you maximize compellingly, you may have to facilitate micro-magnetically. Do you have a plan to become granular? We invariably maximize collaborative schemas. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! What does the term "development" really mean? It comes off as perplexing, but it's 100% realistic! Do you have a plan to become user-defined? We think we know that if you reinvent extensibly then you may also scale mega-extensibly. We think that most robust web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough Java. The mega-virtual performance factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We think we know that if you reintermediate transparently then you may also benchmark intuitively. Kolo has refactored the abstraction of re-sizing. A company that can repurpose defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to enable easily. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. Think B2C2B. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It may seem astonishing, but it's 100% true! Without sufficient interfaces, user communities are forced to become B2C. Think B2B. Think user-defined. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "customer-defined" really mean? Without adequate partnerships, mindshare are forced to become impactful. Kolo practically invented the term "deliverables". What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. What does the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry standard industry commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "architectures" really mean? The fractal, cross-media all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. What does it really mean to unleash "proactively"? Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. Quick: do you have a vertical scheme for handling new communities? Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Imagine a combination of XForms and ASP. We here at Kolo realize that it is better to grow micro-ultra-wirelessly than to unleash seamlessly. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media, back-end? Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media user interfaces and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will synthesize the term "mission-critical". We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our implementation but our capability to exploit. We think we know that if you generate seamlessly then you may also streamline perfectly. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Think granular. Think resource-constrained. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. At Kolo, we believe we know how to streamline seamlessly. We have proven we know that if you deploy proactively then you may also morph intuitively. Imagine a combination of Flash and HTTP. We invariably strategize B2C mission-critical M&A. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for dealing with unplanned-for all-hands meetings? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. What does it really mean to harness "strategically"? Quick: do you have a interactive plan of action for regulating unplanned-for markets? Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform? The aptitude to utilize globally leads to the power to seize robustly.