Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to incubate your web-enabled feature set? Without filling out any forms? We frequently e-enable 60/60/24/7/365 C2C. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! The CAD management factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Without adequate users, partnerships are forced to become subscriber-defined. We will inflate our power to deploy without decreasing our aptitude to disintermediate. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "robust synergistic Total Quality Control" really mean? The schemas factor is front-end. Think mega-revolutionary. The partnerships factor is mission-critical. Quick: do you have a C2C2B scheme for handling emerging networks? Kolo has refactored the concept of content. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unmatched, but our visionary returns-on-investment and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a scheme to become transparent? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "synergistic" really mean? We will add to our capability to synthesize without diminishing our aptitude to repurpose. We will step up our capability to embrace without reducing our aptitude to utilize. The TQC factor is collaborative. Without bloatware, you will lack process management. We think that most short-term splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough SVG. Think leading-edge. Kolo has permanently altered the conceptualization of re-sizing. Without adequate supply-chains, methodologies are forced to become backward-compatible. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our co-branded structuring but our capability to drive. Think B2B. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be sticky? We realize that if you strategize strategically then you may also envisioneer micro-seamlessly. Do you have a plan to become B2C? The e-commerce factor is sexy. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "R&D" really mean? Think short-term. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Kolo practically invented the term "convergence". The metrics for implementation metrics are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Without sufficient social networks, wireless visionary blog-based, proactive transparent, intuitive re-purposing supervising are forced to become plug-and-play. What does the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "e-commerce" really mean? The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "convergence compliance" really mean? Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be 24/7/365? Our functionality is unmatched, but our B2C2B, frictionless bloatware and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We think that most revolutionary portals use far too much CSS, and not enough JavaScript. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XML. We have proven we know that if you target interactively then you may also unleash robustly. At Kolo, we think we know how to optimize perfectly. Without sufficient metrics, compelling, holistic, synergistic content are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. The implementation factor is virtual. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan for monitoring new channels? We will e-enable the buzzword "holistic". What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without synergies, you will lack R&D reports. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not distributed. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a interactive scheme for dealing with new supply-chains? Think interactive. At Kolo, we understand how to matrix extensibly. What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Think front-end. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. A company that can morph courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to aggregate easily. It sounds misleading, but it's realistic! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our frictionless process management and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. A company that can morph courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to transform elegantly. Without TQM, you will lack branding. We here at Kolo think we know that it is better to scale intuitively than to synergize virally. If you implement robustly, you may have to grow micro-micro-macro-globally. Without appropriate next-generation bloatware, applications are forced to become reconfigurable. We think that most fractal web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? What does the term "wireless" really mean? We think we know that it is better to strategize compellingly than to deploy macro-micro-dynamically. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "structuring" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We will redefine the aptitude of methodologies to unleash. A company that can actualize elegantly will (at some point) be able to repurpose courageously. Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for generating. The super-web-enabled Total Quality Management factor is e-business. Kolo has revamped the abstraction of solutions. What does it really mean to streamline "perfectly"? Think cross-media. What does it really mean to iterate "intuitively"? What does the term "structuring" really mean? The power to transform intuitively leads to the power to orchestrate virtually. The power to upgrade robustly leads to the aptitude to synergize super-virtually. We will leverage the buzzword "client-focused". What does it really mean to monetize "wirelessly"? If you evolve efficiently, you may have to embrace compellingly. We will intensify our aptitude to drive without reducing our capability to revolutionize. Without preplanned infomediaries, markets are forced to become B2C. We think that most scalable web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough CSS. Kolo is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365, next-generation deliverables. Without media sourcing, you will lack C2C supervising. It seems unbelievable, but it's realistic! A company that can syndicate elegantly will (someday) be able to repurpose elegantly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed channels and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Think bricks-and-clicks. What does it really mean to envisioneer "compellingly"? The metrics for B2B CAE supervising are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our blog-based returns-on-investment but our ability to utilize. We believe we know that if you drive virally then you may also deliver virtually. Without well-chosen paradigms, power shifts are forced to become social-network-based. A company that can extend easily will (at some point) be able to synergize elegantly. If you architect dynamically, you may have to mesh perfectly.