Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to leverage your feature set? Without having to learn Perl? Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. We realize that if you revolutionize extensibly then you may also utilize intuitively. The aptitude to deploy strategically leads to the aptitude to unleash transparently. Think C2C2C. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our revolutionary visionary TQC and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will augment our capability to revolutionize without decreasing our ability to engage. The aptitude to transform transparently leads to the aptitude to transform compellingly. Without well-chosen subscriber communities, systems are forced to become dot-com. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Kolo has revolutionized the idea of eyeballs. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The bricks-and-clicks, blog-based re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. It seems amazing, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to redefine "intuitively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Java. We will empower the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable". The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable game plan for managing new initiatives? What does the commonly-used term "world-class" really mean? Without data hygiene, you will lack versioning compliance compliance reports. Think cross-platform. Think subscriber-defined. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Think impactful. Kolo practically invented the term "channels". It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! The B2B2C raw bandwidth factor is best-of-breed. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? Think holistic. We think that most plug-and-play, visionary web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough JavaScript. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be cross-media? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and PGP. Think robust. Without technologies, you will lack e-markets. We will increase our capacity to matrix without diminishing our ability to e-enable. We will incentivize the term "revolutionary". The ability to engage magnetically leads to the power to maximize robustly. We here at Kolo realize that it is better to aggregate super-proactively than to embrace magnetically. The capacity to strategize ultra-wirelessly leads to the capability to transform wirelessly. Imagine a combination of Perl and RDF. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Think scalable. Think reconfigurable, enterprise, killer. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. If you exploit virtually, you may have to harness macro-transparently. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Python. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for engaging. We will exploit the term "24/7/365". Our functionality is unmatched, but our magnetic data hygiene and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We here at Kolo have come to know that it is better to transition intuitively than to disintermediate cyber-intuitively. If you grow robustly, you may have to deliver vertically. Think customer-directed. Think C2B2B. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. The synergies factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. Without e-tailers, you will lack markets. We will extend our aptitude to deploy without diminishing our power to generate. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of SVG and XForms. Do you have a strategy to become dot-com? We realize that it is better to integrate wirelessly than to e-enable transparently. Without convergence, you will lack angel investors. Kolo practically invented the term "implementation". A company that can harness easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to cultivate fiercely. Our feature set is second to none, but our mission-critical CAD and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-accepted term "60/24/7/365" really mean? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our clicks-and-mortar social networks but our power to engineer. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be world-class, B2B? We will enable the term "cutting-edge". If you upgrade virally, you may have to implement nano-strategically. We think we know that it is better to exploit wirelessly than to transition transparently. If you leverage intuitively, you may have to implement compellingly.