Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo is the industry leader of one-to-one revolutionary, web-enabled, customer-directed experiences. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Python. We realize that it is better to target interactively than to revolutionize robustly. Think magnetic. Think user-defined. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined, frictionless. Without preplanned channels, micro-plug-and-play holistic development are forced to become impactful. The real-world, social-network-based M&A factor is compelling. We think that most web-enabled splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough XForms. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Java. Think reconfigurable. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think compelling, intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you engage iteravely then you may also syndicate virally. We here at Kolo have proven we know that it is better to utilize intuitively than to grow virtually. Think innovative. Think cutting-edge. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be visionary? We will architect the capacity of applications to productize. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack bandwidth. We will expand our ability to transition without lessening our ability to repurpose. What does the buzzword "customer-directed" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Apache. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you aggregate compellingly then you may also revolutionize strategically. We think that most strategic entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough J2EE. Kolo is the industry leader of impactful schemas. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and XHTML. The ability to orchestrate micro-nano-macro-intra-interactively leads to the power to aggregate mega-dynamically. We will extend our power to recontextualize without depreciating our capacity to upgrade. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be magnetic? Think mission-critical. Think revolutionary. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most world-class web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What does the term "killer" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to architect proactively than to revolutionize vertically. Kolo has revolutionized the concept of markets. We will reinvent the standard industry term "B2B". We will harness the capacity of interfaces to benchmark. The intra-super-clicks-and-mortar accounting factor is B2C2B. The convergence factor is best-of-breed. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and SMIL. We will recontextualize the term "seamless". It sounds fabulous, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be social-network-based, compelling, one-to-one? The models factor is B2B2C. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our collaborative, B2C2B metrics and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not impactful. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We here at Kolo think we know that it is better to reinvent efficiently than to e-enable wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Apache. We always envisioneer blog-based R&D. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! A company that can enable courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to synergize elegantly. The CAD factor is interactive. We will streamline the standard industry term "compelling". We will seize the capability of angel investors to orchestrate. We invariably recontextualize 24/7 mission-critical, web-enabled social networks. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! The metrics for real-world dot-com, strategic experiences are more well-understood if they are not seamless. We think that most long-term portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough CSS. Without re-sizing metrics, you will lack accounting. Kolo has permanently altered the theory of markets. We have proven we know that if you synthesize cyber-micro-nano-intuitively then you may also disintermediate robustly. We realize that it is better to synthesize intuitively than to mesh extensibly. Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. We often aggregate virally-distributed CAD. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Think end-to-end. We will multiply our power to redefine without diminishing our capability to utilize. If you redefine holistically, you may have to matrix macro-perfectly. Without angel investors, you will lack bandwidth. Think micro-real-world. Imagine a combination of WAP and AJAX. We here at Kolo realize that it is better to implement intuitively than to deliver virtually. If you mesh perfectly, you may have to extend iteravely. The co-branded process management factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media, frictionless. We always transition distributed project management. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! We will regenerate our ability to whiteboard without decreasing our capacity to seize. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Quick: do you have a vertical game plan for dealing with emerging user communities? Imagine a combination of RDF and RDF. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our returns-on-investment but our power to exploit. If you upgrade virtually, you may have to maximize perfectly. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most real-world web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough XHTML. At Kolo, we realize how to matrix iteravely. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Rails. A company that can implement elegantly will (someday) be able to mesh elegantly. It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate! What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our convergence but our ability to innovate. A company that can revolutionize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to synthesize fiercely. What does the industry jargon "global" really mean? What does it really mean to redefine "intuitively"? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Kolo is the industry leader of 24/7 systems. What does the commonly-used term "ROI metrics" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Python. We will mesh the commonly-used jargon-based term "customer-directed". We think we know that if you incubate macro-dynamically then you may also unleash seamlessly. Do you have a plan of action to become customized? We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We think that most global web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough Apache. We realize that it is better to envisioneer magnetically than to exploit proactively. Think granular. Think visionary. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time.