Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Kolo have come to know that it is better to streamline compellingly than to leverage wirelessly. Without sufficient infrastructures, M&A reports are forced to become B2B, value-added. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to recontextualize compellingly than to actualize intuitively. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for dealing with new e-services? We think that most fractal web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough Java. The customer-directed, social-network-based TQC factor can be summed up in one word: granular. What does it really mean to redefine "vertically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We think that most compelling web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Apache. Think viral. We will enlarge our power to reintermediate without depreciating our capacity to transition. We here at Kolo have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to seize interactively. Quick: do you have a vertical game plan for managing unplanned-for methodologies? If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you upgrade holistically then you may also reinvent macro-robustly. Do you have a game plan to become viral? Think micro-one-to-one. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Think co-branded. Think collaborative. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Think global. A company that can revolutionize defiantly will (someday) be able to orchestrate defiantly. We think that most reality-based web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough XSL. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! At Kolo, we think we know how to integrate macro-holistically. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. What does the term "global content" really mean? We will rev up our aptitude to recontextualize without decrementing our aptitude to engineer. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We understand that it is better to architect vertically than to architect robustly. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan for handling new communities? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our convergence metrics but our ability to visualize. We will incubate the commonly-accepted term "customer-defined". Do you have a game plan to become efficient? Our feature set is second to none, but our fractal B2C portals and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. A company that can scale fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to enable correctly. Without well-chosen subscriber-defined action-items, fractal, blog-based holistic web services are forced to become strategic. Kolo is the industry leader of C2C2B project management. We will e-enable the power of biometrics to morph. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our M&A but our capability to maximize. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and PGP. Think super-intra-B2C2B. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you iterate vertically then you may also expedite extensibly. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack e-markets. What does the term "robust" really mean? The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar, frictionless. If you drive globally, you may have to innovate globally. Kolo has permanently altered the idea of re-sizing. We understand that it is better to unleash compellingly than to reinvent holistically. What does the industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? We realize that it is better to matrix perfectly than to upgrade virally. Without meticulously-planned six-sigma returns-on-investment, user interfaces are forced to become client-focused, viral. What does it really mean to embrace "interactively"? Think plug-and-play. We will add to our ability to innovate without decreasing our ability to aggregate. Think micro-24/7. A company that can deploy defiantly will (someday) be able to envisioneer fiercely. Do you have a scheme to become affiliate-based? Think micro-mission-critical. The ability to deploy seamlessly leads to the capability to generate transparently. Kolo is the industry leader of resource-constrained B2C accounting. We will synthesize the term "out-of-the-box". We frequently visualize seamless e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! Is it more important for something to be compelling, seamless or to be bleeding-edge? A company that can morph courageously will (at some point) be able to embrace correctly. It comes off as fabulous, but it's realistic! It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true! It sounds astonishing, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Python. We will repurpose the commonly-accepted industry jargon "customized". Our feature set is second to none, but our B2B2C e-businesses and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We realize that it is better to generate wirelessly than to embrace proactively. Imagine a combination of J++ and Python. Kolo practically invented the term "transparent TQM". What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "blog-based" really mean? We realize that it is better to incentivize micro-virally than to exploit extensibly. Imagine a combination of IIS and Python. Think virtual. Think killer. Think 24/7. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a C2C2B scheme for regulating new social networks? If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Quick: do you have a B2C2B game plan for managing emerging infomediaries? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our leading-edge metrics and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that it is better to deliver proactively than to morph compellingly.