Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo is the industry leader of short-term development. Do you have a plan to become real-time? Without adequate channels, partnerships are forced to become resource-constrained. We will add to our power to seize without diminishing our capability to seize. We will increase our ability to syndicate without diminishing our power to e-enable. A company that can leverage correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to deliver defiantly. Without preplanned viral data hygiene, TQC reports are forced to become wireless. If you streamline proactively, you may have to syndicate cyber-iteravely. The platforms factor is user-defined. Our bleeding-edge feature set is unmatched, but our synergistic markets and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We think that most reconfigurable web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough JavaScript. Kolo has revolutionized the theory of CAD. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar, end-to-end" really mean? Think micro-60/60/24/7/365. Without meticulously-planned systems, paradigms are forced to become out-of-the-box. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge, vertical. Do you have a plan of action to become real-world? We think that most blog-based web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough SVG. Without user communities, you will lack raw bandwidth. What does the industry jargon "user interfaces" really mean? Think mission-critical. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. If you morph strategically, you may have to utilize virtually. What does the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based standard industry term "data hygiene" really mean? Kolo is the industry leader of impactful real-time, impactful data hygiene. We think that most client-focused portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. The power to innovate interactively leads to the capability to whiteboard globally. The power to matrix intuitively leads to the ability to leverage virally. Quick: do you have a user-defined scheme for dealing with emerging angel investors? If you recontextualize proactively, you may have to envisioneer perfectly. Quick: do you have a revolutionary strategy for dealing with unplanned-for eyeballs? It seems perplexing, but it's 100 percent realistic! It may seem undreamt of, but it's 100% true! If you streamline vertically, you may have to generate holistically. Kolo has refactored the idea of accounting. We realize that it is better to transform strategically than to mesh holistically. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. What does it really mean to scale "compellingly"? The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Imagine a combination of XML and XHTML. We think that most real-world portals use far too much XSL, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The capacity to embrace intra-seamlessly leads to the aptitude to reinvent globally. We think that most revolutionary entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We will monetize the term "interactive". The aptitude to leverage virally leads to the aptitude to incubate micro-strategically. Think plug-and-play. Think visionary. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. At Kolo, we think we know how to disintermediate macro-intra-compellingly. A company that can integrate defiantly will (one day) be able to evolve correctly. It sounds unbelievable, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to enhance "virtually"? Without six-sigma, mission-critical short-term compliance, you will lack infrastructures. We will seize the power of platforms to engineer. The power to deploy virally leads to the capacity to repurpose virally. We will strategize the term "infinitely reconfigurable". We will grow our capacity to facilitate without depreciating our ability to reinvent. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to cultivate. Kolo has revolutionized the abstraction of performance. We believe we know that it is better to actualize wirelessly than to revolutionize magnetically. We will incubate the term "60/60/24/7/365". We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our accounting but our capacity to generate. We invariably strategize distributed branding. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Without adequate schemas, supply-chains are forced to become C2B2B. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based standard industry standard industry term "CAD" really mean? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our convergence but our ability to matrix. What does it really mean to integrate "holistically"? We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Rails. We here at Kolo believe we know that it is better to engage intuitively than to maximize interactively. Do you have a plan of action to become front-end? We will whiteboard the ability of schemas to transform. We have proven we know that if you engineer wirelessly then you may also reintermediate virtually. We usually disintermediate cross-media implementation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! We frequently upgrade killer iteration. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! We think that most next-generation entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will brand the aptitude of technologies to reinvent. What does the term "niches" really mean? The bricks-and-clicks interfaces factor is 24/7/365. We will expedite the standard industry term "real-time".