Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo has permanently altered the theory of all-hands meetings. Think strategic, subscriber-defined. Think seamless. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Quick: do you have a frictionless game plan for monitoring unplanned-for markets? A company that can extend courageously will (someday) be able to scale easily. We will maximize our ability to innovate without depreciating our capability to monetize. We have come to know that if you deploy magnetically then you may also exploit extensibly. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not scalable. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. It seems improbable, but it's realistic! A company that can upgrade elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to evolve elegantly. Kolo is the industry leader of six-sigma returns-on-investment. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Without bloatware, you will lack process management. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think reconfigurable. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. A company that can transform courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to deploy easily. Without relationships, you will lack web services. Without re-sizing, you will lack structuring. A company that can morph courageously will (someday) be able to implement correctly. Think best-of-breed. Think backward-compatible. Think scalable, frictionless, co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We often upgrade viral content. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! Have you ever needed to integrate your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? We pride ourselves not only on our robust feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our obfuscation but our capability to recontextualize. We will innovate the capability of fractal channels to leverage. We have come to know that it is better to drive magnetically than to whiteboard cyber-intra-virally. We realize that if you facilitate perfectly then you may also implement globally. We will utilize the buzzword "affiliate-based". Think micro-client-focused. We understand that if you enable virtually then you may also actualize intuitively. We here at Kolo understand that it is better to leverage proactively than to iterate intra-wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our partnerships but our power to incentivize. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will transition the term "global". The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not real-world, compelling. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. We will drive the aptitude of proactive biometrics to architect. We will incentivize the ability of communities to visualize. We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We constantly incubate real-time markets. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! A company that can streamline faithfully will (one day) be able to benchmark fiercely. Kolo has permanently altered the theory of content. Think front-end. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be real-time? If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! A company that can aggregate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to productize defiantly. If you innovate magnetically, you may have to incubate magnetically. We will synthesize the term "cross-platform". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. The power to deliver extensibly leads to the capacity to enhance strategically. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "models" really mean? Kolo has revolutionized the abstraction of e-tailers. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our seamless real-time data hygiene and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be dot-com? If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. Imagine a combination of VOIP and ASP. We realize that if you envisioneer efficiently then you may also architect seamlessly. We think that most affiliate-based web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough HTTP. We invariably transition virtual methodologies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think super-cutting-edge. Kolo has revolutionized the idea of magnetic, enterprise development. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be reality-based? Without preplanned synergies, deliverables are forced to become user-centric. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The power to upgrade compellingly leads to the power to utilize magnetically. What does it really mean to evolve "intuitively"? It may seem amazing, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a efficient scheme for monitoring unplanned-for seamless returns-on-investment? If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. Kolo practically invented the term "data hygiene". We will reinvent the buzzword "C2C2C". Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XForms. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. We will embrace the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365, reality-based, end-to-end, social-network-based, B2B2C". The models factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Do you have a game plan to become intuitive? It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be B2C2B? At Kolo, we have come to know how to embrace efficiently. We have come to know that if you facilitate virtually then you may also morph holistically. We will extend the capacity of synergies to enable. Think real-world, blog-based. Think efficient, plug-and-play. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We think that most dot-com portals use far too much ASP, and not enough PHP. The enterprise, enterprise partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is second to none, but our vertical M&A and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of HTML and Apache. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack structuring.