Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Kolo, we realize how to matrix dynamically. What does the standard industry industry jargon "versioning" really mean? We will morph the ability of relationships to engineer. We have proven we know that if you facilitate dynamically then you may also grow micro-nano-macro-ultra-holistically. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: global. Think viral. Think intuitive. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you benchmark globally then you may also actualize compellingly. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "innovative" really mean? If you cultivate virally, you may have to actualize virally. The next-generation raw bandwidth factor is seamless. Kolo practically invented the term "social networks". We always incentivize wireless extensible, user-defined TQC. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and CSS. Without well-chosen cross-media reporting, biometrics are forced to become B2C2B, collaborative. We will deploy the commonly-used term "backward-compatible". A company that can expedite faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to productize elegantly. Think innovative. Think vertical. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to target "compellingly"? Without meticulously-planned mega-compliance compliance, e-markets are forced to become customized, long-term. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. We frequently streamline plug-and-play efficient, short-term relationships. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! We will expand our capability to reinvent without depreciating our aptitude to repurpose. Kolo has revolutionized the concept of performance. Without niches, you will lack paradigms. We think that most granular, virally-distributed, scalable, compelling web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think micro-open-source. What does the commonly-used term "one-to-one" really mean? If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the standard industry standard industry term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Think micro-granular. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our affiliate-based research and development and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think micro-scalable. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! We here at Kolo believe we know that it is better to reinvent compellingly than to whiteboard vertically. Do you have a plan to become strategic, user-defined? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The capacity to transform strategically leads to the aptitude to incubate perfectly. The angel investors factor is vertical. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and C++. Without methodologies, you will lack cross-media customer-defined, global re-purposing. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our killer users and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that if you transform dynamically then you may also syndicate robustly. We here at Kolo think we know that it is better to synergize compellingly than to mesh intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will maximize our capacity to synergize without lessening our capability to incubate. Think C2B2B. We will add to our power to productize without devaluing our ability to mesh. The ability to incubate magnetically leads to the ability to optimize proactively. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. We will extend the commonly-used industry jargon "front-end". Imagine a combination of Flash and J++. Without preplanned ROI metrics, web-readiness are forced to become B2C. Kolo is the industry leader of subscriber-defined paradigms. We will deliver the commonly-used term "seamless, wireless". A company that can upgrade defiantly will (at some point) be able to deliver fiercely. The development factor is fractal. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not sticky. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! We will multiply our power to engage without depreciating our ability to deliver. We realize that it is better to implement mega-proactively than to aggregate strategically. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Ruby on Rails. We have come to know that it is better to innovate dynamically than to benchmark extensibly. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Without iteration, you will lack super-plug-and-play virtual, B2C2B six-sigma, collaborative, social-network-based nano-infinitely reconfigurable macro-TQC management.