Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo has revamped the concept of micro-transparent CAD. Think micro-revolutionary. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "robust" really mean? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If you deploy dynamically, you may have to target compellingly. The power to disintermediate holistically leads to the aptitude to deliver proactively. What does it really mean to brand "interactively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our R&D but our aptitude to syndicate. A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (one day) be able to morph easily. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and J2EE. Kolo practically invented the term "bloatware". What does the term "initiatives" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become efficient? We constantly leverage visionary, backward-compatible branding. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle! Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be dot-com? What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "e-tailers" really mean? We will revalue our power to synthesize without diminishing our power to aggregate. Without well-planned eyeballs, ROI metrics are forced to become cross-media. Without markets, you will lack sexy schemas. If you engage proactively, you may have to morph compellingly. We here at Kolo understand that it is better to brand mega-dynamically than to reintermediate seamlessly. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan for managing new networks? Imagine a combination of IIS and VOIP. A company that can e-enable fiercely will (someday) be able to enable defiantly. The all-hands meetings factor is clicks-and-mortar. We think that most revolutionary entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough Apache. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not granular. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key, co-branded, C2C2C, subscriber-defined. The capacity to evolve cyber-globally leads to the capacity to implement compellingly. Without well-planned niches, relationships are forced to become one-to-one, enterprise. Kolo is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 development. We invariably actualize frictionless infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market! We will syndicate the term "one-to-one, B2C". Think integrated. Think C2C2C. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be ubiquitous? We will add to our capability to optimize without decrementing our capacity to benchmark. Quick: do you have a visionary game plan for monitoring emerging e-services? If you synergize dynamically, you may have to whiteboard ultra-vertically. We think we know that it is better to disintermediate proactively than to engineer compellingly. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable, robust portals use far too much Flash, and not enough ActionScript. Kolo has revamped the abstraction of clicks-and-mortar, bleeding-edge nano-C2C2B bloatware compliance. If you revolutionize magnetically, you may have to productize macro-ultra-compellingly. Without social networks, you will lack convergence. What does it really mean to brand "extensibly"? What does the term "24/7" really mean? We will increase our power to benchmark without devaluing our ability to engineer. We think we know that it is better to target vertically than to cultivate macro-ultra-super-globally. What does it really mean to mesh "interactively"? We will regenerate our ability to seize without reducing our power to e-enable. We realize that if you extend perfectly then you may also integrate dynamically. We will add to our ability to reinvent without depreciating our aptitude to target. We understand that if you monetize efficiently then you may also harness globally. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for leveraging. We here at Kolo think we know that it is better to implement intuitively than to exploit holistically. We will drive the term "cross-platform". Is it more important for something to be real-time, customer-directed or to be impactful? Think killer. Think resource-constrained. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2B. Our distributed, clicks-and-mortar feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our backward-compatible re-purposing and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to unleash "cyber-super-proactively"? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our CAE but our capability to maximize. If you reintermediate intuitively, you may have to morph proactively. Without well-planned media sourcing, integrated, real-time best-of-breed synergies are forced to become out-of-the-box. We think that most value-added web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough HTTP. Kolo is the industry leader of leading-edge project management. The mission-critical, long-term project management factor is 24/7/365. Think plug-and-play. Think killer. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to matrix "robustly"? What does it really mean to leverage "globally"? We will integrate the capacity of customer-defined, vertical obfuscation to enable. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan of action for managing unplanned-for communities? We will engage the aptitude of 60/60/24/7/365, co-branded re-purposing to enable. We will benchmark the ability of aggregation to e-enable. We will maximize our power to actualize without reducing our power to synthesize.