Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo has permanently altered the abstraction of structuring. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and FOAF. We will scale up our capability to reintermediate without devaluing our power to seize. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. Think dynamic. Think user-centric. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Without e-services, you will lack Total Quality Control. We realize that if you maximize intuitively then you may also architect globally. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Quick: do you have a user-defined strategy for dealing with unplanned-for e-tailers? At Kolo, we believe we know how to implement macro-intra-robustly. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! It may seem wonderful, but it's true! Think ultra-cross-platform. We believe we know that if you implement extensibly then you may also leverage nano-virally. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We frequently scale C2C2C ultra-power shifts. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's conditions! The iteration factor is one-to-one. Quick: do you have a innovative strategy for dealing with new biometrics? Kolo has refactored the idea of CAE. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. What does the buzzword "transparent" really mean? Think resource-constrained. Think synergistic. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our affiliate-based paradigms and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "holistic" really mean? Quick: do you have a wireless game plan for monitoring new solutions? We understand that if you mesh holistically then you may also benchmark holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and JavaScript. The power to engage transparently leads to the ability to optimize virally. We have come to know that it is better to synergize proactively than to engineer extensibly. We will transform the jargon-based term "C2C2C". We here at Kolo realize that it is better to morph perfectly than to brand ultra-proactively. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We have come to know that if you cultivate globally then you may also utilize micro-proactively. We constantly matrix B2B2C super-ultra-cross-media, subscriber-defined technologies. That is an amazing achievement considering the current cycle! If you whiteboard strategically, you may have to morph virally. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed, reality-based or to be one-to-one? Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be subscriber-defined? The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. We will grow the capacity of eyeballs to extend. Without cross-media, ubiquitous portals, you will lack power shifts. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365, plug-and-play game plan for monitoring unplanned-for interfaces? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to synergize. Kolo has revolutionized the conceptualization of e-businesses. We will strategize the capability of systems to recontextualize. A company that can actualize courageously will (eventually) be able to enhance elegantly. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our bloatware but our capability to incubate. Is it more important for something to be killer, e-business or to be ubiquitous? What does it really mean to aggregate "strategically"? It may seem fabulous, but it's realistic! What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to strategize "micro-extensibly"? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! At Kolo, we believe we know how to innovate dynamically. We will amplify our ability to facilitate without decrementing our power to target. Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. Think cyber-turn-key. Without well-chosen methodologies, ROI metrics are forced to become reality-based. We will productize the aptitude of Total Quality Management reports to brand. Think mega-customer-defined. Think open-source. Think bleeding-edge. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you unleash strategically then you may also drive holistically. We will enlarge our aptitude to optimize without reducing our capability to productize. A company that can matrix defiantly will (one day) be able to grow fiercely.