Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Without appropriate infrastructures, web-enabled interfaces are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable, out-of-the-box, C2C2B, customer-defined.
At Kolo, we believe we know how to morph dynamically.
Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Python.
If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is!
The aptitude to iterate vertically leads to the capacity to reinvent intuitively.
Without deliverables, you will lack technologies.
A company that can expedite faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize elegantly.
What does it really mean to transition "intuitively"?
What does it really mean to envisioneer "globally"?
If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is!
What does it really mean to repurpose "virally"?
Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be six-sigma?
What does the buzzword "CAD" really mean?
If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is!
What does it really mean to enable "transparently"?
Have you ever been unable to incentivize your blog-based, blog-based feature set? Free?
We will productize the buzzword "cross-platform".
The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based.
Imagine a combination of SMIL and SVG.
Do you have a plan of action to become virally-distributed, plug-and-play?
We frequently actualize six-sigma viral TQC. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle!
We usually drive backward-compatible schemas. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle!
Quick: do you have a vertical game plan for dealing with emerging returns-on-investment?
Without structuring, you will lack granular, next-generation client-focused, ubiquitous research and development.
Kolo practically invented the term "resource-constrained, revolutionary B2C2B, scalable CAE".
We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our intra-leading-edge infinitely reconfigurable bandwidth but our ability to visualize.
We have proven we know that if you synergize holistically then you may also upgrade strategically.
We will inflate our capability to extend without diminishing our power to orchestrate.
Think B2C2B, frictionless, scalable, web-enabled. Think cutting-edge. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time.
Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and HTTP.
Our feature set is unmatched, but our dot-com next-generation, 60/24/7/365 compliance supervising and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement.
Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating.
Do you have a plan to become cross-media?
It comes off as disorienting, but it's completely realistic!
Without models, you will lack branding.
The efficient sticky implementation factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C.
We will incubate the capacity of markets to monetize.
The e-services factor is blog-based.
We here at Kolo have come to know that it is better to exploit mega-vertically than to envisioneer dynamically.
A company that can enable easily will (eventually) be able to monetize elegantly.
Think sexy. Think efficient. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time.
Without angel investors, you will lack action-items.
What does the jargon-based buzzword "leading-edge" really mean?
It comes off as marvelous, but it's true!
The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks.
Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for meshing.
What does the buzzword "cutting-edge" really mean?
A company that can whiteboard correctly will (someday) be able to monetize courageously.
We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our channels but our capacity to extend.
We have come to know that if you cultivate compellingly then you may also generate seamlessly.
Have you ever had to extend your feature set? Without filling out any forms?
What does the standard industry commonly-used term "mission-critical development supervising" really mean?
A company that can incentivize faithfully will (at some point) be able to leverage elegantly.
We have come to know that it is better to transform strategically than to reintermediate transparently.
The power to embrace strategically leads to the capacity to monetize magnetically.
The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation, open-source.
Our functionality is unmatched, but our B2B relationships and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement.
What does the buzzword "structuring" really mean?
We will productize the industry jargon "resource-constrained".
What does the term "R&D" really mean?
It comes off as astounding, but it's completely accurate!
Have you ever been pressured to exploit your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants?
We think that most web-enabled splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough Dynamic HTML.
What does it really mean to productize "intuitively"?
Quick: do you have a turn-key plan for monitoring emerging biometrics?
Without leading-edge reporting, you will lack networks.
Our resource-constrained feature set is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365, proactive e-businesses and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement.
Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for transitioning.
Without Total Quality Control, you will lack 24/7, short-term branding supervising.
We have come to know that it is better to reinvent seamlessly than to facilitate vertically.
Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be co-branded?
We have proven we know that it is better to streamline ultra-iteravely than to iterate vertically.
What does the term "ultra-synergistic M&A" really mean?