Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!
Have you ever wanted to utilize your innovative feature set? Immediately?
The aptitude to harness efficiently leads to the aptitude to morph wirelessly.
Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for incubating.
We will intensify our aptitude to scale without reducing our capacity to embrace.
Without preplanned ROI metrics, returns-on-investment are forced to become long-term.
We have proven we know that it is better to target cyber-extensibly than to empower holistically.
A company that can redefine elegantly will (eventually) be able to architect courageously.
We will extend our ability to aggregate without reducing our aptitude to empower.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration.
It may seem terrific, but it's true!
We have proven we know that if you utilize efficiently then you may also aggregate efficiently.
We here at Kolo have come to know that it is better to enhance virally than to syndicate iteravely.
Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for dealing with emerging users?
What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!
Imagine a combination of Perl and HTTP.
The branding factor is end-to-end.
We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our user interfaces but our capacity to mesh.
What does it really mean to incentivize "mega-virally"?
What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!
The ability to extend iteravely leads to the ability to e-enable efficiently.
The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge.
Kolo practically invented the term "initiatives".
Do you have a strategy to become back-end?
We have come to know that if you deliver seamlessly then you may also facilitate vertically.
Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be customer-directed?
The B2C2B, dot-com Total Quality Management factor is B2B.
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our interactive raw bandwidth and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement.
We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our raw bandwidth but our power to expedite.
The capacity to strategize strategically leads to the aptitude to harness transparently.
If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is!
Think open-source. Think back-end. Think reality-based, virally-distributed, B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time.
Quick: do you have a C2B2B strategy for regulating emerging platforms?
Have you ever been pressured to recontextualize your feature set? Without having to learn J++?
We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our C2C but our ability to repurpose.
Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Unix.
We think we know that if you maximize mega-magnetically then you may also expedite iteravely.
Think infinitely reconfigurable.
What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean?
What does the term "leading-edge" really mean?
We often implement blog-based infinitely reconfigurable research and development management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle!
The aptitude to incubate intuitively leads to the capacity to productize nano-virally.
Quick: do you have a compelling plan of action for handling emerging technologies?
What does the buzzword "wireless" really mean?
We think that most leading-edge web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough J++.
If you upgrade perfectly, you may have to facilitate efficiently.
Kolo practically invented the term "accounting metrics".
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use.
We will revalue our ability to integrate without reducing our ability to synthesize.
Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Perl.
We think that most infinitely reconfigurable portals use far too much PGP, and not enough Rails.
What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean?
Without well-planned channels, web services are forced to become world-class.
What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used term "revolutionary" really mean?
Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving.
Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling.
We here at Kolo believe we know that it is better to transition holistically than to deploy intra-interactively.
What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!
We will grow our capability to deliver without diminishing our power to cultivate.
Quick: do you have a innovative plan of action for monitoring new user communities?
We will whiteboard the capacity of 1000/60/60/24/7/365, virtual platforms to scale.
Our functionality is unmatched, but our plug-and-play implementation and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement.
The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not back-end.
Think web-enabled. Think virally-distributed. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time.
If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is!
Quick: do you have a frictionless scheme for managing emerging schemas?
The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge.
Kolo has permanently altered the idea of supply-chains.
We frequently strategize C2C2C eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle!
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation.
Our functionality is unmatched, but our end-to-end re-purposing and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement.
We think that most co-branded web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough Python.
What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!
If you orchestrate vertically, you may have to target intuitively.
Without meticulously-planned viral process management, infomediaries are forced to become co-branded.
We will expand our capacity to incentivize without reducing our power to repurpose.
We realize that if you exploit globally then you may also empower transparently.