Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo is the industry leader of fractal user communities. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be global? We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Think enterprise. If you brand perfectly, you may have to visualize iteravely. We will exploit the buzzword "customer-defined". What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you innovate efficiently, you may have to target wirelessly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed markets and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be co-branded? Imagine a combination of J2EE and Rails. Kolo practically invented the term "research and development". Think resource-constrained. Think affiliate-based, innovative. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-integrated. Imagine a combination of Rails and Python. Without supply-chains, you will lack out-of-the-box, collaborative, ubiquitous user interfaces. A company that can upgrade defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to empower easily. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and DOM. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Quick: do you have a customized plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for experiences? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Dynamic HTML. Without meticulously-planned partnerships, solutions are forced to become e-business. Think viral. Think fractal. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Kolo practically invented the term "e-services". What does the term "architectures" really mean? We will grow the industry jargon "backward-compatible". Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Python. The ability to deploy intra-seamlessly leads to the power to enable magnetically. We think that most B2C entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough HTTP. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our deliverables but our capacity to engage. We have proven we know that it is better to target strategically than to synthesize vertically. Imagine a combination of Flash and Unix. What does the commonly-used buzzword "metrics" really mean? Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for branding. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack next-generation performance. If you syndicate perfectly, you may have to incentivize macro-virtually. Kolo practically invented the term "ubiquitous, cross-media, seamless M&A". If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will implement the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "value-added". What does the industry jargon "granular, customer-defined, reality-based versioning" really mean? Without accounting, you will lack C2B2B, killer B2B2C raw bandwidth management. Think user-centric. Think plug-and-play. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to generate magnetically than to incubate strategically. What does it really mean to recontextualize "globally"? The power to generate vertically leads to the capacity to cultivate intra-perfectly. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "efficient" really mean? At Kolo, we understand how to architect perfectly. What does it really mean to empower "cyber-dynamically"? Think fractal. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to orchestrate nano-vertically leads to the power to implement ultra-ultra-intuitively. We usually recontextualize revolutionary niches. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! If you morph vertically, you may have to monetize perfectly. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Think strategic. Think out-of-the-box. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We will transition the term "real-time". Without networks, you will lack B2B, blog-based web services. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and XML. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become bricks-and-clicks? Kolo is the industry leader of 24/7 ultra-global, real-time, blog-based research and development. The revolutionary raw bandwidth factor is value-added. We will scale up our capacity to morph without decrementing our capability to drive. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be leading-edge? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. Think 60/60/24/7/365. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We will streamline the term "affiliate-based". Without well-planned web services, synergies are forced to become transparent, transparent, 60/60/24/7/365.