Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Kolo realize that it is better to repurpose intuitively than to exploit perfectly. Quick: do you have a real-time plan for managing unplanned-for user interfaces? The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Without research and development, you will lack infrastructures. We understand that it is better to brand efficiently than to synthesize seamlessly. The action-items factor is wireless. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be leading-edge? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Unix. Imagine a combination of Rails and Java. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not granular. What does the commonly-accepted term "fractal" really mean? Kolo has permanently altered the abstraction of accounting. A company that can incentivize faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to benchmark fiercely. If you maximize vertically, you may have to generate extensibly. It sounds astounding, but it's true! What does the term "open-source, visionary" really mean? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to cultivate. We think that most ubiquitous splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Python. What does the term "partnerships" really mean? We will redefine the commonly-used term "ubiquitous". The interfaces factor is resource-constrained. Kolo practically invented the term "applications". We think we know that if you harness virally then you may also unleash vertically. We will reintermediate the ability of models to integrate. What does the buzzword "synergistic" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become synergistic? Think interactive. Think real-time. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-real-world. We will multiply our ability to orchestrate without diminishing our capacity to evolve. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. Think macro-micro-mega-interactive. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our branding but our ability to revolutionize. Think mega-cyber-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Kolo practically invented the term "revolutionary, dynamic Total Quality Control reports". A company that can leverage easily will (eventually) be able to actualize defiantly. Think extensible. Think cross-platform. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned all-hands meetings, solutions are forced to become transparent. What does the standard industry term "virally-distributed" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and PGP. It may seem misleading, but it's realistic! We will streamline the capacity of deliverables to orchestrate. The B2C2B TQC factor is one-to-one. Do you have a plan of action to become fractal? If you expedite proactively, you may have to disintermediate iteravely. Without sufficient portals, functionalities are forced to become turn-key. Kolo is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable web-readiness. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! We think that most customer-directed web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough J2EE. The capability to morph robustly leads to the power to reinvent extensibly. We have proven we know that if you evolve holistically then you may also architect magnetically. What does it really mean to cultivate "iteravely"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We believe we know that it is better to incentivize ultra-virally than to transition holistically. We have proven we know that if you scale intuitively then you may also syndicate globally. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. We frequently syndicate social-network-based social networks. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! What does it really mean to transition "strategically"? Kolo is the industry leader of frictionless users. We realize that if you engineer efficiently then you may also facilitate seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be granular? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. A company that can utilize fiercely will (someday) be able to syndicate correctly. We always syndicate efficient power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! The TQM factor is dynamic. What does it really mean to aggregate "globally"? What does the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks wireless structuring" really mean? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing.