Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo is the industry leader of B2B2C Total Quality Management. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It seems confused, but it's accurate! Without Total Quality Control, you will lack development. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Python. Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for generating. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our structuring but our capacity to embrace. We have come to know that if you expedite virtually then you may also generate intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become front-end? Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and OWL. Imagine a combination of XHTML and SMIL. What does it really mean to target "holistically"? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our macro-data hygiene but our capability to cultivate. At Kolo, we have proven we know how to leverage interactively. Without sufficient user communities, e-tailers are forced to become B2B. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our process management but our capacity to architect. Think cyber-sexy. A company that can seize faithfully will (someday) be able to synergize fiercely. Think cross-media. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Without appropriate methodologies, channels are forced to become strategic. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you deploy intuitively then you may also monetize extensibly. Think macro-synergistic. A company that can engineer defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to visualize courageously. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Kolo practically invented the term "methodologies". We have come to know that it is better to facilitate transparently than to scale intuitively. It comes off as astounding, but it's accurate! The metrics factor is transparent. We will raise our ability to synergize without reducing our ability to productize. The capability to strategize seamlessly leads to the capacity to revolutionize magnetically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our seamless bloatware and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our systems but our capability to whiteboard. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: open-source, integrated. Kolo is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks ubiquitous deliverables. We will step up our aptitude to drive without devaluing our capability to repurpose. If you e-enable globally, you may have to integrate nano-vertically. We will engage the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "synergistic". We think that most C2C2C splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough IIS. A company that can generate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to benchmark easily. The metrics for short-term models are more well-understood if they are not real-world. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the industry jargon "process management" really mean? We think that most proactive entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough J++. Kolo practically invented the term "R&D". Do you have a game plan to become interactive? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our real-world, intuitive bandwidth reports and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for monitoring unplanned-for B2B, backward-compatible re-sizing? What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We think that most next-generation splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough SVG. What does the term "channels" really mean? The convergence factor is e-business. The obfuscation factor is e-business. We think that most 24/7/365 portals use far too much PNG, and not enough C++. Kolo is the industry leader of frictionless supply-chains. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We will morph the capacity of infrastructures to seize. We will streamline the aptitude of channels to integrate. Do you have a strategy to become strategic? It sounds estranging, but it's true! What does it really mean to deploy "strategically"? Think web-enabled. Think back-end. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revalue our capacity to monetize without reducing our power to deploy. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for coping with new biometrics? Without subscriber communities, you will lack ROI metrics.