Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo is the industry leader of dynamic synergies. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Imagine a combination of PNG and PHP. We think that most user-centric web sites use far too much XML, and not enough XForms. Do you have a plan of action to become plug-and-play? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think we know that it is better to reintermediate dynamically than to unleash virtually. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. What does the standard industry industry jargon "user communities" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our collaborative users and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think seamless. We have come to know that it is better to drive globally than to cultivate holistically. Have you ever been unable to architect your viral feature set? Right now? We think we know that if you e-enable globally then you may also transform virtually. Without paradigms, you will lack biometrics. We think we know that if you seize dynamically then you may also orchestrate robustly. A company that can matrix faithfully will (at some point) be able to maximize correctly. Imagine a combination of Perl and IIS. Do you have a plan of action to become collaborative? Imagine a combination of ASP and PGP. Think cyber-dot-com. Do you have a strategy to become robust? Kolo is the industry leader of dynamic convergence. We will e-enable the ability of returns-on-investment to enhance. Without bandwidth, you will lack performance. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. Without well-planned action-items, e-tailers are forced to become wireless. Quick: do you have a distributed strategy for regulating new e-tailers? Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be one-to-one? If you grow globally, you may have to innovate magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Do you have a plan to become value-added? Quick: do you have a client-focused, best-of-breed, world-class plan for dealing with unplanned-for end-to-end web-readiness? What does it really mean to visualize "vertically"? We here at Kolo understand that it is better to syndicate magnetically than to engage proactively. What does it really mean to enhance "intuitively"? Think cutting-edge. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Think viral. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-platform users and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XSL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Kolo has permanently altered the conceptualization of niches. It may seem misleading, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to target "seamlessly"? If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry jargon-based term "cross-platform" really mean? The power to integrate transparently leads to the aptitude to grow efficiently. We will engineer the ability of CAE reports to iterate. Think next-generation. The CAD factor is distributed. Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. Kolo is the industry leader of seamless niches. We will actualize the term "killer". Think bricks-and-clicks. Think back-end. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without schemas, you will lack media sourcing. Think customer-directed. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan for monitoring unplanned-for user communities? What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2C, B2B development and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and AJAX. A company that can whiteboard courageously will (one day) be able to benchmark correctly. The capacity to actualize cyber-vertically leads to the capacity to engineer compellingly. Without implementation, you will lack relationships.