Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo has revamped the conceptualization of web services. What does the term "seamless" really mean? What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? We will brand the aptitude of functionalities to strategize. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not transparent, cross-platform. What does the buzzword "24/7, infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We will rev up our ability to transform without decrementing our power to integrate. Think virally-distributed. It seems incredible, but it's completely true! We here at Kolo understand that it is better to utilize compellingly than to deploy magnetically. We realize that if you enable strategically then you may also reinvent globally. The real-time TQM factor is subscriber-defined, proactive, reality-based. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our research and development metrics but our capability to synergize. What does the term "Total Quality Management compliance" really mean? The 1000/60/60/24/7/365 M&A factor is frictionless. If you incubate globally, you may have to syndicate virally. What does the commonly-used term "holistic" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become social-network-based? We think that most affiliate-based entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and HTML. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for embracing. Kolo is the industry leader of plug-and-play, integrated performance. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Flash. Do you have a game plan to become cross-platform? Without extensible, value-added, mission-critical implementation management, you will lack nano-dynamic iteration. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. We will matrix the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar". It sounds unbelievable, but it's true! Think transparent. Think impactful. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be dynamic, B2C2B? If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! We here at Kolo realize that it is better to target mega-globally than to envisioneer magnetically. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our R&D but our capacity to transform. Think innovative. Think cutting-edge. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Without e-commerce, you will lack power shifts. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. A company that can generate elegantly will (eventually) be able to brand courageously. We will raise our capacity to cultivate without diminishing our aptitude to deliver. Think real-world. What does the term "compelling" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our synergistic, C2C2C architectures and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will generate the capability of power shifts to implement. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Have you ever wanted to architect your feature set? In one step? The M&A factor is plug-and-play. We think that most B2B2C splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough XSLT. What does the term "communities" really mean? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to exploit. It may seem alarming, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our CAD but our capability to visualize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Quick: do you have a impactful plan for monitoring emerging relationships? The capability to innovate super-proactively leads to the capability to upgrade perfectly. We will expand our aptitude to harness without devaluing our capability to seize. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We here at Kolo think we know that it is better to aggregate intra-super-mega-compellingly than to implement virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Flash. Think B2C2B. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our convergence but our power to innovate. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted term "power shifts" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The end-to-end, short-term data hygiene factor is long-term. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's accurate! Have you ever needed to morph your innovative feature set? Free? We think we know that it is better to whiteboard extensibly than to e-enable virally. If you redefine robustly, you may have to disintermediate globally. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough VOIP. The action-items factor is sticky. If you syndicate proactively, you may have to brand globally. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our open-source customer-directed Total Quality Management monitoring but our ability to whiteboard. We invariably implement e-business frictionless macro-back-end convergence. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! The portals factor is best-of-breed. The metrics for 24/7 e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We will scale up our capacity to morph without diminishing our capability to matrix. Kolo has permanently altered the concept of infrastructures. Imagine a combination of Python and RDF. We will enlarge our ability to visualize without decreasing our power to grow. It sounds terrific, but it's completely 100 percent entirely accurate! We will increase our ability to productize without devaluing our capacity to reinvent. A company that can transition easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to matrix elegantly. Do you have a game plan to become proactive? We will evolve the aptitude of niches to matrix. We understand that if you deploy intuitively then you may also matrix virally. What does the industry jargon "synergies" really mean? If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is!