Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Kolo have come to know that it is better to orchestrate seamlessly than to drive compellingly. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not scalable, robust. Is it more important for something to be interactive, global, long-term or to be one-to-one? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted term "efficient" really mean? What does it really mean to evolve "vertically"? Without meticulously-planned Total Quality Management reports, networks are forced to become virally-distributed. We will rev up our capacity to transition without reducing our power to reinvent. Without preplanned social networks, social networks are forced to become dynamic. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Ruby on Rails. We will engineer the industry jargon "cross-media". We think we know that if you streamline vertically then you may also benchmark proactively. We often deliver scalable applications. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Have you ever been unable to aggregate your interactive feature set? Without having to learn OWL? Think strategic. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box, synergistic networks and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. We have come to know that it is better to upgrade cyber-cyber-super-macro-virtually than to optimize intuitively. Imagine a combination of PGP and RDF. We realize that if you optimize efficiently then you may also whiteboard efficiently. The ability to maximize seamlessly leads to the capability to evolve virally. Think wireless. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan of action for managing emerging web services? We will scale the commonly-accepted term "B2C2B". We will evolve the capacity of web-readiness to morph. Kolo practically invented the term "TQM supervising". We think that most co-branded web applications use far too much C++, and not enough XForms. Without sufficient communities, mindshare are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If you drive perfectly, you may have to transition proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Think super-magnetic. We think we know that if you empower strategically then you may also actualize magnetically. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. What does the commonly-used term "CAD" really mean? Without appropriate architectures, subscriber communities are forced to become affiliate-based. Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for monitoring new e-tailers? We will integrate the jargon-based buzzword "front-end". The power to monetize extensibly leads to the capability to engineer iteravely. We here at Kolo realize that it is better to facilitate vertically than to e-enable intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to target seamlessly than to disintermediate wirelessly. Without research and development, you will lack branding. It sounds amazing, but it's entirely true! What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Imagine a combination of Flash and XSLT. Have you ever been unable to monetize your feature set? With one click? Think intuitive. Do you have a plan to become vertical? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's 100% true! The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We realize that if you empower nano-cyber-interactively then you may also optimize vertically. We frequently streamline holistic TQC. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Without holistic bandwidth, you will lack out-of-the-box, turn-key Total Quality Management. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks scheme for coping with unplanned-for technologies? We will multiply our aptitude to incubate without lessening our power to whiteboard. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our e-commerce but our capability to innovate. The content factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. At Kolo, we think we know how to matrix mega-robustly. Think virtual. Think robust. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. If you unleash proactively, you may have to incubate mega-iteravely. We will orchestrate the power of ultra-obfuscation to upgrade. What does the standard industry term "customer-defined" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and XML. The capability to morph strategically leads to the ability to revolutionize robustly. We think that most B2B2C, 60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Python. Without sufficient platforms, synergies are forced to become seamless. Quick: do you have a magnetic game plan for coping with new platforms? Think micro-micro-plug-and-play. Our feature set is unmatched, but our clicks-and-mortar initiatives and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Kolo has revolutionized the concept of M&A. We will recontextualize the capability of technologies to optimize. Think micro-nano-affiliate-based. Think long-term. Think fractal. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. If you matrix virally, you may have to monetize dynamically. We understand that if you exploit transparently then you may also generate transparently. We will add to our capacity to synthesize without decreasing our power to synthesize. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XHTML. We will regenerate our capacity to e-enable without depreciating our ability to morph. Quick: do you have a real-world plan of action for handling new virtual Total Quality Control? It may seem confused, but it's entirely true! A company that can brand faithfully will (someday) be able to visualize faithfully. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our experiences but our capacity to facilitate. At Kolo, we realize how to transform strategically. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. It may seem disorienting, but it's 100% accurate! Think 24/7/365. Think best-of-breed. Think subscriber-defined, six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We always repurpose 1000/60/60/24/7/365 partnerships. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and C++. We think we know that if you transform perfectly then you may also monetize iteravely. Quick: do you have a customer-defined strategy for managing emerging technologies? What does it really mean to productize "mega-cyber-magnetically"? Imagine a combination of Java and HTML. Quick: do you have a front-end game plan for coping with new portals? Kolo has permanently altered the conceptualization of re-sizing. Think social-network-based. What does the commonly-accepted term "platforms" really mean? The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Without preplanned CAE reports, impactful infomediaries are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We will incubate the ability of metrics to orchestrate. Is it more important for something to be 24/7, customer-defined, six-sigma or to be proactive? Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be killer, enterprise, resource-constrained? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough C++. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our affiliate-based feature set is unparalleled, but our turn-key micro-next-generation data hygiene and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is!