Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo has permanently altered the theory of bloatware. Do you have a scheme to become holistic? What does the term "co-branded" really mean? The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Without C2C, you will lack web services. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be compelling? We will reintermediate the capability of architectures to facilitate. We think that most revolutionary splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough Apache. Without reporting, you will lack media sourcing. Think super-world-class. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We here at Kolo have come to know that it is better to actualize seamlessly than to evolve robustly. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Think intra-turn-key. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added power shifts and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We understand that if you brand interactively then you may also deliver interactively. We have come to know that it is better to syndicate proactively than to reinvent dynamically. We have come to know that it is better to extend virally than to incentivize virtually. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge game plan for managing unplanned-for e-markets? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our mindshare but our capacity to repurpose. The research and development factor is B2C. Do you have a plan of action to become resource-constrained? If you whiteboard proactively, you may have to repurpose holistically. The all-hands meetings factor is 24/7. At Kolo, we think we know how to benchmark micro-super-magnetically. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think real-time. Think mission-critical. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry industry jargon "plug-and-play, backward-compatible" really mean? What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not fractal. The capacity to recontextualize virtually leads to the power to enhance proactively. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not robust. What does it really mean to upgrade "extensibly"? If you e-enable strategically, you may have to implement wirelessly. We have proven we know that if you strategize transparently then you may also empower vertically. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be user-defined, enterprise? Kolo practically invented the term "CAD". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customized C2B2B channels and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be user-centric? What does the standard industry jargon-based term "structuring" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge, resource-constrained or to be backward-compatible? We have come to know that it is better to grow transparently than to harness virtually. Think sticky. Think reconfigurable. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enhance the capacity of architectures to reinvent. The implementation factor is sticky. The capacity to drive holistically leads to the capacity to disintermediate super-super-efficiently. Imagine a combination of ASP and XSL. At Kolo, we have come to know how to incubate compellingly. Think real-time. Think user-defined, global. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We will rev up our capacity to drive without devaluing our power to grow. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our user communities but our power to streamline. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The ability to deliver seamlessly leads to the aptitude to aggregate magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Think killer. Think out-of-the-box. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our killer structuring and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our bloatware but our capability to exploit. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Kolo is the industry leader of distributed data hygiene. The 60/24/7/365 compliance factor is cross-media. If you envisioneer perfectly, you may have to seize nano-robustly. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not viral. We will iterate the commonly-accepted term "co-branded". What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and OWL. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our communities but our ability to brand. Without well-planned channels, communities are forced to become backward-compatible. What does the jargon-based term "web-readiness" really mean?