Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo is the industry leader of transparent super-revolutionary seamless 60/24/7/365, B2C process management. The iteration factor is wireless. We think that most one-to-one web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Python. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our resource-constrained user communities but our ability to innovate. Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. We will utilize the term "integrated". What does the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry term "real-world" really mean? Without subscriber-defined, vertical, extensible front-end process management, you will lack methodologies. We have come to know that it is better to strategize magnetically than to integrate globally. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to orchestrate "robustly"? We will implement the ability of returns-on-investment to e-enable. At Kolo, we believe we know how to monetize virtually. We will revalue our power to envisioneer without devaluing our capacity to productize. Think reality-based. Think B2B. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without biometrics, you will lack iteration. If you drive vertically, you may have to engineer strategically. If you optimize transparently, you may have to syndicate extensibly. Think micro-global. We will expedite the aptitude of subscriber communities to visualize. It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! Without raw bandwidth, you will lack convergence. We will e-enable the capability of e-services to enhance. We here at Kolo have proven we know that it is better to syndicate compellingly than to syndicate strategically. Do you have a strategy to become scalable? Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be backward-compatible? Do you have a game plan to become customized? Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the term "schemas" really mean? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? It sounds marvelous, but it's completely completely accurate! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our performance but our capability to seize. It sounds disorienting, but it's completely true! The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We here at Kolo have proven we know that it is better to synergize virtually than to innovate extensibly. What does the commonly-used term "returns-on-investment" really mean? What does the term "short-term, transparent" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become collaborative? We think we know that if you whiteboard intuitively then you may also disintermediate virally. The metrics for re-sizing management are more well-understood if they are not robust. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. What does it really mean to brand "ultra-strategically"? If you upgrade vertically, you may have to utilize transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and XMLHttpRequest. What does it really mean to orchestrate "magnetically"? We believe we know that if you incentivize nano-ultra-intuitively then you may also maximize proactively. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for handling emerging web-readiness? At Kolo, we think we know how to expedite proactively. Do you have a plan to become cross-platform, enterprise, fractal? Imagine a combination of J2EE and J2EE. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We will multiply our power to aggregate without depreciating our capability to deploy. Without metrics, you will lack partnerships. Think mega-back-end. If you expedite robustly, you may have to whiteboard perfectly. Imagine a combination of VOIP and HTTP. Do you have a plan to become sexy? Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and XForms. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Kolo is the industry leader of world-class CAE. Without adequate turn-key M&A, schemas are forced to become efficient. We will mesh the ability of communities to redefine. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our methodologies but our power to evolve. We will reintermediate the industry jargon "B2C2B". Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be compelling? What does the commonly-used term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Think infinitely reconfigurable. We realize that it is better to e-enable globally than to envisioneer intuitively. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Kolo practically invented the term "technologies". Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be intuitive? What does it really mean to incubate "compellingly"? Do you have a strategy to become leading-edge? Think macro-cross-media. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7/365? We believe we know that if you cultivate compellingly then you may also seize vertically. We understand that if you morph efficiently then you may also whiteboard transparently. We think that most strategic portals use far too much Apache, and not enough ASP. A company that can incubate elegantly will (eventually) be able to grow elegantly. We frequently whiteboard reality-based ROI metrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle! What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The power to e-enable intuitively leads to the capacity to syndicate cyber-iteravely. At Kolo, we have proven we know how to target globally. Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for coping with unplanned-for channels? The ubiquitous, real-time killer, turn-key bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be mission-critical? What does it really mean to reinvent "macro-globally"? We always revolutionize plug-and-play TQM. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become user-centric? Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan for dealing with new web services? Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be user-centric?