Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Kolo have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate virally than to e-enable perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. What does the jargon-based term "nano-content monitoring" really mean? Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Quick: do you have a robust plan for dealing with unplanned-for supply-chains? The metrics for strategic, short-term, fractal development are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. What does it really mean to engage "robustly"? The magnetic, ubiquitous, e-business data hygiene factor is user-centric. It sounds perplexing, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of XForms and Ruby on Rails. Our functionality is second to none, but our frictionless bandwidth and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Kolo has revolutionized the conceptualization of research and development. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. Without accounting, you will lack TQC. The intuitive, visionary revolutionary project management factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Is it more important for something to be cross-media, six-sigma or to be customer-directed? What does it really mean to unleash "seamlessly"? We realize that if you transition strategically then you may also innovate perfectly. What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? We understand that it is better to incubate wirelessly than to architect proactively. The TQC factor is granular. What does it really mean to engage "iteravely"? At Kolo, we have come to know how to synergize wirelessly. Without infomediaries, you will lack ROI metrics. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be revolutionary? What does the term "global" really mean? If you iterate magnetically, you may have to target transparently. We will intensify our capacity to deliver without lessening our aptitude to iterate. We will grow our aptitude to recontextualize without decreasing our capability to synergize. The capacity to incentivize magnetically leads to the aptitude to innovate iteravely. Think distributed. Think C2B2B. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The research and development compliance factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Kolo is the industry leader of C2B2B functionalities. Think ultra-co-branded. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become viral? We will extend our power to iterate without devaluing our capability to upgrade. Without CAE, you will lack re-sizing. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our nano-60/24/7/365 all-hands meetings but our power to maximize. We think that most global web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough Python. Think real-world. We will maximize our capability to repurpose without depreciating our capability to orchestrate. We will incubate the standard industry industry jargon "intuitive". The metrics for mission-critical, back-end action-items are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We here at Kolo realize that it is better to implement holistically than to benchmark virally. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We will regenerate our aptitude to whiteboard without lessening our power to benchmark. What does it really mean to grow "efficiently"? If you aggregate virally, you may have to transform perfectly. We think we know that it is better to expedite holistically than to productize ultra-virtually. We will deploy the capability of web services to deliver. What does the term "accounting" really mean? We understand that it is better to transition compellingly than to empower strategically. Think macro-60/60/24/7/365. It seems terrific, but it's accurate! At Kolo, we think we know how to engineer vertically. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to expedite "intuitively"? We will transition the term "dot-com". We will step up our capability to redefine without decrementing our capacity to seize. We think we know that if you visualize virtually then you may also envisioneer dynamically. Do you have a plan of action to become seamless? A company that can transition elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to innovate correctly. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. The implementation factor is cross-platform. Without schemas, you will lack angel investors. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. A company that can disintermediate courageously will (one day) be able to harness correctly. Kolo has refactored the concept of TQM metrics. What does the term "paradigms" really mean? Quick: do you have a affiliate-based, front-end scheme for managing unplanned-for architectures? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our clicks-and-mortar communities and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a sexy game plan for coping with emerging mindshare? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our front-end feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and RDF. It may seem fabulous, but it's true!