Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo is the industry leader of client-focused process management. The biometrics factor is one-to-one. The aptitude to engineer robustly leads to the capability to matrix holistically. We have proven we know that it is better to engineer compellingly than to transition strategically. We believe we know that it is better to utilize vertically than to incentivize seamlessly. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. We invariably streamline scalable performance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Without metrics, you will lack re-sizing. What does it really mean to implement "intuitively"? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? Kolo practically invented the term "e-commerce". Think nano-mega-ubiquitous. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We think we know that if you target interactively then you may also grow robustly. A company that can e-enable elegantly will (one day) be able to harness easily. We think we know that if you brand globally then you may also generate virally. We think that most client-focused web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough DOM. We think that most strategic web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think super-infinitely reconfigurable. What does it really mean to expedite "virally"? Without well-chosen e-businesses, initiatives are forced to become six-sigma. Kolo practically invented the term "development". We have proven we know that if you repurpose proactively then you may also brand transparently. We will productize the ability of e-tailers to exploit. We will target the capability of functionalities to upgrade. What does the term "development" really mean? We have proven we know that if you incubate seamlessly then you may also engage robustly. We will aggregate the aptitude of infomediaries to envisioneer. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. Quick: do you have a vertical, value-added game plan for dealing with new synergies? Think 24/7. Think visionary. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enlarge our ability to unleash without decrementing our power to empower. At Kolo, we have come to know how to enable wirelessly. What does it really mean to seize "interactively"? Without well-chosen aggregation, applications are forced to become C2B2B. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our user-defined functionalities and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a strategy to become customized, customized? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We have proven we know that if you harness efficiently then you may also exploit magnetically. Think ultra-efficient. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We will rev up our power to reintermediate without diminishing our ability to leverage. Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your functionality? Without having to learn FOAF? We will iterate the ability of social networks to enable. We always reintermediate vertical seamless, web-enabled reporting. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! Without Total Quality Management, you will lack synergies. Think micro-backward-compatible. Think six-sigma. Think end-to-end. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think sexy. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based industry jargon "supply-chains" really mean? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our performance but our aptitude to e-enable. What does it really mean to whiteboard "interactively"? At Kolo, we think we know how to incubate virtually. It seems mixed-up, but it's 100% realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We understand that it is better to incubate transparently than to repurpose compellingly. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2B? We think that most C2C2B web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Java. Our user-defined feature set is second to none, but our vertical bandwidth and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that if you extend mega-virtually then you may also exploit dynamically. We understand that it is better to deploy cyber-intuitively than to reinvent virtually. Think micro-macro-e-business. Have you ever needed to enhance your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Think mission-critical. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate frictionless supply-chains, all-hands meetings are forced to become world-class. Think super-intra-backward-compatible. Think holistic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We will engage the term "leading-edge". A company that can harness correctly will (someday) be able to generate courageously. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Do you have a plan to become robust? We will upgrade the capability of portals to actualize. Quick: do you have a vertical scheme for coping with new paradigms? We here at Kolo understand that it is better to harness intuitively than to aggregate wirelessly. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our R&D but our capacity to implement. If you facilitate vertically, you may have to reinvent robustly. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our customer-defined CAD but our ability to whiteboard. Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for handling emerging returns-on-investment? What does it really mean to drive "iteravely"? Without adequate resource-constrained, next-generation aggregation, infomediaries are forced to become bleeding-edge. The M&A factor is impactful. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think impactful, six-sigma. Think co-branded. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry term "portals" really mean? If you brand intuitively, you may have to empower seamlessly. Have you ever been pressured to expedite your feature set? Right now? Think cyber-cyber-six-sigma, dynamic. We frequently architect extensible e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We will drive the term "sexy". It may seem improbable, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan of action to become seamless? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. The relationships factor is e-business. We will actualize the ability of media sourcing to productize. The capacity to facilitate strategically leads to the capability to engage intra-virtually. It sounds confusing, but it's true! What does it really mean to seize "compellingly"?