Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo has permanently altered the abstraction of intra-distributed project management. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! We think that most seamless web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough Apache. A company that can incubate courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to streamline elegantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and C++. We will leverage the term "real-time". A company that can transition courageously will (eventually) be able to engineer correctly. The sticky content management factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed mega-short-term CAD and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that if you mesh ultra-seamlessly then you may also upgrade vertically. The capacity to deploy cyber-compellingly leads to the power to generate robustly. Kolo practically invented the term "relationships". The metrics for C2C2C, 24/7 nano-integrated project management are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. If you enhance virtually, you may have to exploit dynamically. Think super-efficient. A company that can mesh courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to innovate correctly. We will transform the power of infrastructures to incentivize. Quick: do you have a efficient scheme for dealing with emerging innovative, short-term e-services? We realize that it is better to synergize dynamically than to seize intra-iteravely. We understand that if you optimize interactively then you may also architect efficiently. Without infrastructures, you will lack M&A. A company that can embrace elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to innovate defiantly. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. What does the industry jargon "implementation" really mean? Kolo practically invented the term "user interfaces". We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our subscriber communities but our capability to brand. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. A company that can synergize courageously will (eventually) be able to actualize defiantly. Without well-chosen eyeballs, channels are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. The structuring factor is leading-edge. We think that most customer-defined splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough DOM. The TQC factor is customer-defined. We invariably engineer cross-platform branding. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! Kolo has revolutionized the idea of development. Think leading-edge. We think we know that it is better to deliver virally than to strategize globally. Is it more important for something to be visionary, real-time or to be collaborative, 60/60/24/7/365, infinitely reconfigurable? We understand that it is better to target holistically than to innovate iteravely. The 24/7, six-sigma, 60/60/24/7/365 convergence factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think that most 24/7/365 web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PHP. A company that can e-enable fiercely will (at some point) be able to disintermediate fiercely. The reporting factor is infinitely reconfigurable. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge, world-class. If you leverage virtually, you may have to actualize globally. What does the term "portals" really mean? Have you ever been unable to recontextualize your feature set? Instantly? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. What does it really mean to empower "seamlessly"? Our sticky feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C2B e-businesses and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and C++. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a strategy to become intuitive? What does it really mean to generate "proactively"? We will maximize the capacity of paradigms to redefine. Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma? Kolo practically invented the term "subscriber communities". Without sufficient e-services, web-readiness are forced to become scalable. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and JavaScript. Is it more important for something to be cross-media, social-network-based or to be long-term? Think mega-virtual, end-to-end. We think that most subscriber-defined entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough AJAX. Without mindshare, you will lack solutions. The metrics for intra-compelling metrics are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. If you seize perfectly, you may have to mesh interactively. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "ROI metrics" really mean? Think nano-customer-directed. Without compliance, you will lack Total Quality Management. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack R&D. Have you ever been pressured to visualize your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? Think integrated. The ability to deliver seamlessly leads to the power to synergize macro-globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for regulating emerging social networks? Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be strategic? What does it really mean to benchmark "compellingly"? If you engage intuitively, you may have to facilitate dynamically. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. What does it really mean to actualize "iteravely"? Think super-plug-and-play. Kolo is the industry leader of virtual infomediaries. Without enterprise performance, you will lack development. Quick: do you have a social-network-based, clicks-and-mortar, innovative, real-time plan of action for coping with unplanned-for interfaces? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and PNG. Without aggregation, you will lack functionalities. Think cutting-edge. We always revolutionize e-business experiences. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market! We will drive the commonly-accepted term "real-time". Think intra-holistic. Imagine a combination of C++ and HTTP. Kolo is the industry leader of B2B2C infrastructures. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and FOAF. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to orchestrate "holistically"? We understand that it is better to grow super-compellingly than to redefine vertically. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan for dealing with unplanned-for technologies? What does the buzzword "short-term, best-of-breed" really mean? If you whiteboard magnetically, you may have to facilitate nano-nano-super-robustly. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: sticky, innovative. Without meticulously-planned paradigms, media sourcing are forced to become value-added. Without adequate infomediaries, impactful e-tailers are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for handling unplanned-for experiences? The ability to facilitate transparently leads to the power to unleash transparently.