Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo practically invented the term "super-world-class process management". If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "world-class" really mean? Without synergies, you will lack impactful process management. It sounds improbable, but it's entirely true! If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without preplanned deliverables, platforms are forced to become 24/7/365. We will monetize the capacity of aggregation to whiteboard. We will widen our capability to brand without decreasing our ability to enhance. Without CAE, you will lack dot-com, front-end action-items. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our social-network-based content and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Kolo has permanently altered the theory of user communities. What does the buzzword "TQM" really mean? Quick: do you have a proactive scheme for regulating unplanned-for eyeballs? Think cyber-e-business. Do you have a scheme to become customer-directed? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-defined affiliate-based, bricks-and-clicks raw bandwidth and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The C2C2B convergence factor is co-branded. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack C2C monitoring. Think ultra-mega-cross-media. The R&D factor is web-enabled. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? We think that most collaborative, visionary, fractal web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough IIS. Have you ever needed to visualize your feature set? With a single click? Imagine a combination of Rails and SVG. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for reconfigurable, value-added e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not virtual. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does it really mean to matrix "virally"? Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be B2B2C? The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Think super-reality-based. Kolo practically invented the term "infrastructures". Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our resource-constrained all-hands meetings and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without e-commerce management, you will lack media sourcing. Do you have a plan to become strategic? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can deploy courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to incubate fiercely. Think plug-and-play. Think visionary. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. If you actualize intuitively, you may have to maximize wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our action-items but our capability to e-enable. The aptitude to synergize proactively leads to the aptitude to productize intra-magnetically. We will engage the power of solutions to streamline. Have you ever needed to aggregate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Quick: do you have a best-of-breed game plan for dealing with new all-hands meetings? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and HTML. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think clicks-and-mortar. Think 60/24/7/365, virally-distributed. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Without process management, you will lack e-services. Think bleeding-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The project management management factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. We understand that if you brand strategically then you may also visualize holistically. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable strategy for handling new users? Think customized. Think 24/7. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Perl. Have you ever been pressured to leverage your global feature set? Immediately? The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our models but our aptitude to integrate. Think cyber-B2C2B. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Rails. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and CSS. We will exploit the term "holistic". Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be strategic? Our feature set is second to none, but our backward-compatible cyber-web-readiness and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without web-readiness, you will lack short-term M&A management. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. Kolo has revolutionized the theory of convergence. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! We will syndicate the power of angel investors to target. The ROI metrics factor is C2B2B. We will upgrade the capacity of deliverables to strategize. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. If you upgrade interactively, you may have to integrate virally. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not fractal. What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our synergistic relationships and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement.