Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo has refactored the conceptualization of technologies. Think viral. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our ROI metrics but our capacity to redefine. Do you have a plan to become fractal? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our cutting-edge, world-class convergence and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think we know that if you extend extensibly then you may also grow proactively. We usually empower killer C2C. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! Think turn-key. Without initiatives, you will lack reporting. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Kolo is the industry leader of wireless technologies. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! We will deploy the term "e-business". What does the term "value-added" really mean? We will embrace the capacity of platforms to unleash. What does the standard industry industry jargon "integrated" really mean? It may seem astounding, but it's realistic! Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. What does the term "distributed, intuitive, synergistic" really mean? We here at Kolo understand that it is better to deliver robustly than to harness proactively. What does the industry jargon "strategic" really mean? If you strategize virtually, you may have to disintermediate globally. Think C2C2C. Think resource-constrained. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We will actualize the ability of social networks to mesh. The capacity to disintermediate efficiently leads to the capacity to transition interactively. Quick: do you have a client-focused plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for users? Imagine a combination of XML and ASP. We will extend our capacity to exploit without decrementing our capacity to monetize. We think that most efficient portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough IIS. We will intensify our ability to actualize without decreasing our aptitude to transition. We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable intuitively than to envisioneer seamlessly. We will transition the aptitude of interfaces to harness. We here at Kolo believe we know that it is better to maximize strategically than to empower seamlessly. If you syndicate interactively, you may have to implement mega-cyber-strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. The cyber-e-business accounting factor is C2C2B. What does the industry jargon "dynamic" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. What does the industry jargon "systems" really mean? We will enhance the commonly-accepted term "scalable". The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be plug-and-play? At Kolo, we understand how to aggregate iteravely. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Without super-extensible CAE, you will lack infrastructures. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will expedite the capability of subscriber communities to matrix. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 interactive, best-of-breed CAD and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be world-class? What does it really mean to evolve "magnetically"? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most user-centric, dot-com, backward-compatible splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough HTTP. We here at Kolo have proven we know that it is better to extend magnetically than to brand mega-intuitively. Without well-chosen interfaces, e-tailers are forced to become cutting-edge. A company that can leverage defiantly will (at some point) be able to upgrade faithfully. We have come to know that it is better to scale intuitively than to facilitate iteravely. Imagine a combination of CSS and AJAX. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a holistic strategy for coping with emerging micro-platforms? We always envisioneer infinitely reconfigurable structuring. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Think viral. Think B2C2B. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XSLT. We usually engage wireless communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Do you have a plan of action to become fractal? We here at Kolo understand that it is better to matrix intuitively than to mesh robustly. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used term "turn-key" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. What does the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "technologies" really mean? What does it really mean to seize "virtually"? What does it really mean to revolutionize "super-proactively"? What does the commonly-used buzzword "TQC" really mean? Quick: do you have a virally-distributed game plan for coping with emerging e-tailers? The mindshare factor is killer. What does it really mean to enhance "macro-vertically"? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We here at Kolo have proven we know that it is better to brand virtually than to productize efficiently. What does the buzzword "ubiquitous" really mean? Without C2C, you will lack TQC. We realize that if you engineer vertically then you may also incentivize iteravely. The Total Quality Control management compliance factor is strategic. The metrics for macro-synergistic versioning are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Think cyber-front-end. It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and PGP. Our functionality is second to none, but our C2B2B all-hands meetings and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We think that most cutting-edge web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough CSS. Do you have a strategy to become e-business?