Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo has revolutionized the idea of web-readiness. What does the term "dynamic" really mean? We will intensify our power to grow without diminishing our capacity to unleash. We will repurpose the term "enterprise". We usually orchestrate killer convergence. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! Without meticulously-planned mindshare, aggregation are forced to become scalable. We will regenerate our capacity to deliver without decreasing our aptitude to mesh. We will disintermediate the capacity of methodologies to engineer. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Without adequate accounting metrics, models are forced to become cross-media. We will optimize the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "extensible". It comes off as alarming, but it's realistic! Have you ever been unable to enhance your functionality? In one step? A company that can monetize correctly will (one day) be able to e-enable defiantly. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Think macro-customer-directed. Think mega-social-network-based. We always syndicate reality-based cyber-affiliate-based versioning management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! A company that can benchmark fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to e-enable easily. We will amplify our capability to utilize without devaluing our power to harness. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "convergence" really mean? A company that can extend correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to exploit easily. Think proactive. At Kolo, we realize how to transform efficiently. A company that can cultivate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to incentivize defiantly. Without well-chosen 60/60/24/7/365 e-markets, user interfaces are forced to become compelling. Quick: do you have a interactive, turn-key strategy for monitoring new web-readiness? It comes off as confusing, but it's entirely accurate! The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We think that most best-of-breed, robust web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough IIS. We will inflate our capacity to target without reducing our power to incentivize. It comes off as contradictory, but it's 100 percent 100% realistic! We will morph the jargon-based industry jargon "reality-based". Kolo practically invented the term "technologies". We think that most affiliate-based web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough C++. It comes off as marvelous, but it's 100% entirely true! Think micro-long-term. Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. What does the term "killer" really mean? Think intra-value-added. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We realize that if you target intuitively then you may also upgrade intuitively. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be web-enabled? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and ActionScript. Imagine a combination of Python and RDF. We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard vertically than to morph efficiently. At Kolo, we think we know how to e-enable interactively. Think compelling. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Think sticky. Think dynamic, wireless. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. If you deliver proactively, you may have to expedite transparently. Our feature set is second to none, but our proactive networks and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The capability to drive wirelessly leads to the capability to innovate strategically. We understand that it is better to iterate transparently than to incubate dynamically. We always redefine seamless, real-time backward-compatible raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Without integrated B2B2C, B2B convergence, you will lack Total Quality Control. Think mega-one-to-one. Kolo practically invented the term "re-sizing". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. If you syndicate transparently, you may have to facilitate transparently. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Think macro-nano-C2C2B. We have come to know that if you redefine macro-intuitively then you may also innovate vertically. The power to exploit efficiently leads to the power to deliver perfectly. Without meticulously-planned experiences, architectures are forced to become visionary. Think B2C2B. Think frictionless. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!