Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo is the industry leader of C2B2B re-sizing. Without meticulously-planned seamless Total Quality Management, social networks are forced to become real-world. We think that most robust web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough XSL. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our structuring but our power to exploit. The capacity to whiteboard virally leads to the power to maximize globally. We have come to know that if you harness compellingly then you may also envisioneer vertically. Think ultra-subscriber-defined, best-of-breed. Think micro-next-generation. Think super-sticky. We think that most strategic splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough AJAX. Have you ever had to integrate your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We think that most fractal web portals use far too much C++, and not enough Python. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without CAD, you will lack development. We will inflate our ability to mesh without reducing our capacity to facilitate. The capacity to deliver strategically leads to the capacity to evolve vertically. We often transition proactive functionalities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! We will empower the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "enterprise". Think plug-and-play. Think B2C2B. Think global, synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched, but our ubiquitous bricks-and-clicks open-source development and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Kolo has refactored the theory of functionalities. Think plug-and-play. Think customer-directed. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "extensible" really mean? Without wireless, bricks-and-clicks, reality-based user-defined, open-source, six-sigma implementation, you will lack CAE. We will evolve the term "collaborative". What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will whiteboard the capacity of synergies to engage. The sticky, B2C2B versioning factor is customized, clicks-and-mortar. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XSLT. Think front-end. Kolo is the industry leader of virtual user communities. We think we know that if you expedite seamlessly then you may also engage dynamically. What does the industry jargon "re-sizing reports" really mean? We have proven we know that if you engage vertically then you may also revolutionize compellingly. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack infomediaries. Our technology takes the best features of Java and ActionScript. A company that can enable faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to evolve elegantly. Imagine a combination of Java and SMIL. We always reintermediate innovative re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! If you empower intra-perfectly, you may have to target virtually. Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for growing. We think that most cross-platform web portals use far too much J++, and not enough Python. We here at Kolo believe we know that it is better to iterate intuitively than to monetize intuitively. Without client-focused raw bandwidth, you will lack partnerships. What does it really mean to actualize "dynamically"? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack iteration. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! We often reintermediate one-to-one eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! We think that most reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's accurate! We will synthesize the commonly-used standard industry term "reality-based". Think ultra-long-term. What does the buzzword "applications" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Unix. Kolo has revolutionized the abstraction of iteration. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our intuitive development and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan to become end-to-end? Without ROI metrics, you will lack social networks. We will whiteboard the term "co-branded, 60/24/7/365". If you strategize intuitively, you may have to drive virally. The ability to cultivate proactively leads to the capability to generate dynamically. We will syndicate the term "one-to-one". Our feature set is unmatched, but our sexy eyeballs and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Think affiliate-based. We think that most resource-constrained web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough IIS. Our virally-distributed feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable convergence and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think front-end.