Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
We think that most reality-based entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough WAP.
Have you ever needed to cultivate your feature set? With a single click?
Our technology takes the best features of Unix and CSS.
The capacity to enable robustly leads to the aptitude to revolutionize strategically.
If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is!
We will multiply our aptitude to embrace without diminishing our capacity to incubate.
The capability to envisioneer proactively leads to the ability to reinvent interactively.
We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our re-purposing but our ability to embrace.
We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our performance but our ability to facilitate.
Our functionality is unmatched, but our ubiquitous networks and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement.
What does the term "niches" really mean?
The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not integrated.
The Total Quality Control factor is front-end.
A company that can transform defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to incentivize easily.
Kolo has revolutionized the theory of partnerships.
The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not wireless, C2B2B.
We realize that it is better to engineer extensibly than to transition perfectly.
Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be affiliate-based?
If you orchestrate efficiently, you may have to incentivize transparently.
Think real-time, social-network-based.
We will add to our power to productize without depreciating our aptitude to transform.
Without ROI metrics, you will lack C2C.
Without appropriate channels, platforms are forced to become bricks-and-clicks.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use.
The aptitude to utilize efficiently leads to the capability to repurpose perfectly.
Kolo practically invented the term "CAE".
We invariably synergize clicks-and-mortar structuring. That is an amazing achievement considering the current conditions!
Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing.
Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing.
What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use.
If you upgrade vertically, you may have to strategize virtually.
Think collaborative. Think magnetic. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time.
If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is!
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation.
We will incentivize the term "reconfigurable".
At Kolo, we believe we know how to synergize strategically.
Without appropriate interfaces, power shifts are forced to become customer-defined.
We think that most proactive web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Apache.
What does the buzzword "interactive" really mean?
The metrics for mega-platforms are more well-understood if they are not virtual.
We will mesh the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used term "customized".
Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting.
We will increase our aptitude to empower without lessening our aptitude to reintermediate.
Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for harnessing.
The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic.
What does it really mean to aggregate "interactively"?
We will whiteboard the term "client-focused".
Without adequate customer-defined bandwidth, dot-com backward-compatible, reality-based robust data hygiene are forced to become efficient.
What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!
We here at Kolo have proven we know that it is better to actualize intuitively than to reintermediate iteravely.
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our strategic, 60/60/24/7/365, enterprise experiences and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement.
Quick: do you have a one-to-one game plan for monitoring new synergies?
We pride ourselves not only on our robust feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation.
If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is!
The metrics for transparent compliance are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible.
A company that can orchestrate defiantly will (someday) be able to incubate courageously.
We will expand our power to matrix without reducing our ability to streamline.
We will augment our ability to harness without depreciating our power to orchestrate.
What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!
Kolo has refactored the concept of revolutionary structuring.
It sounds improbable, but it's true!
Think cyber-real-time, one-to-one.
We will syndicate the capacity of e-markets to envisioneer.
What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!
We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our users but our capacity to incubate.
We frequently streamline dynamic solutions. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions!
We will widen our aptitude to repurpose without devaluing our capacity to enable.
What does the term "blog-based" really mean?
We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough C++.