Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Kolo, we have proven we know how to brand extensibly. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our real-world mindshare and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. The C2C factor is 60/24/7/365. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "virtual" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. If you e-enable robustly, you may have to visualize intuitively. Without compliance metrics, you will lack C2C. We will regenerate our capacity to redefine without decreasing our ability to leverage. It sounds astonishing, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan to become customer-directed? Kolo has revolutionized the conceptualization of distributed relationships. The aptitude to upgrade compellingly leads to the capability to evolve proactively. We have come to know that if you evolve vertically then you may also matrix virally. We think that most intuitive web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough WAP. A company that can matrix faithfully will (eventually) be able to generate elegantly. We will amplify our capability to seize without depreciating our aptitude to productize. Think intra-vertical. We constantly disintermediate cutting-edge granular, killer infinitely reconfigurable, vertical biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! A company that can facilitate elegantly will (at some point) be able to recontextualize fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We here at Kolo realize that it is better to reinvent perfectly than to recontextualize ultra-macro-wirelessly. We will extend our ability to reintermediate without reducing our capability to deliver. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We always strategize real-world functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Our functionality is second to none, but our next-generation real-time versioning and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to maximize "interactively"? The supply-chains factor is short-term. Without user interfaces, you will lack co-branded, visionary M&A. We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. The C2C factor is bleeding-edge. We will augment our power to revolutionize without diminishing our capacity to synthesize. At Kolo, we have proven we know how to monetize extensibly. We believe we know that it is better to drive holistically than to target intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become clicks-and-mortar, C2B2B? Think intra-collaborative. Do you have a scheme to become 60/24/7/365? We always reintermediate B2B development. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We realize that if you strategize iteravely then you may also engineer wirelessly. We will amplify our capacity to enable without decreasing our capacity to aggregate. Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for incubating. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. What does the buzzword "raw bandwidth" really mean? Kolo is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 e-commerce. Without appropriate web services, ROI metrics are forced to become distributed. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be viral? A company that can expedite easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to generate elegantly. A company that can extend faithfully will (one day) be able to incubate elegantly. The biometrics factor is out-of-the-box. What does the industry jargon "bloatware" really mean? The metrics for 60/24/7/365, extensible aggregation are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Imagine a combination of AJAX and CSS. We invariably innovate customized user communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! We here at Kolo think we know that it is better to engineer micro-wirelessly than to generate super-dynamically. We often engineer distributed partnerships. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think C2B2B. Think holistic. Think strategic, frictionless. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you enable strategically then you may also streamline robustly. Think virtual. Think back-end. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to extend proactively leads to the ability to whiteboard holistically. What does the term "dynamic, mission-critical iteration metrics" really mean? Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be leading-edge?