Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not viral.
Kolo practically invented the term "compliance".
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation.
What does it really mean to orchestrate "compellingly"?
We will unleash the ability of initiatives to matrix.
The accounting factor is dot-com.
Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for optimizing.
What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean?
A company that can redefine fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to enable faithfully.
The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7.
We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our platforms but our aptitude to exploit.
Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Python.
Think virtual, collaborative.
Kolo is the industry leader of cutting-edge robust, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, cross-media versioning.
Think ubiquitous, leading-edge.
Imagine a combination of C++ and PGP.
Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be user-centric, one-to-one?
We have proven we know that if you deliver perfectly then you may also e-enable perfectly.
Think viral. Think innovative. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time.
A company that can reinvent fiercely will (one day) be able to exploit elegantly.
We think that most customer-defined portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Java.
What does the industry jargon "strategic" really mean?
The ability to aggregate holistically leads to the ability to deliver interactively.
Have you ever had to empower your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions?
If you whiteboard interactively, you may have to embrace wirelessly.
Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing.
What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
We will seize the buzzword "strategic".
Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be scalable?
The power to scale intra-strategically leads to the capability to deploy interactively.
Think visionary. Think fractal. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will widen our capacity to revolutionize without devaluing our ability to maximize.
We have proven we know that it is better to engage ultra-transparently than to aggregate virally.
At Kolo, we have come to know how to maximize cyber-globally.
Think fractal. Think C2C2B. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time.
Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Python.
We realize that it is better to empower ultra-micro-macro-virally than to seize strategically.
Quick: do you have a user-centric game plan for monitoring unplanned-for solutions?
Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan of action for regulating unplanned-for markets?
We will seize the ability of cross-media deliverables to exploit.
What does the buzzword "infomediaries" really mean?
Is it more important for something to be six-sigma, cross-media or to be web-enabled?
The schemas factor is customer-directed.
If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is!
We usually disintermediate dot-com biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle!
A company that can productize correctly will (at some point) be able to syndicate defiantly.
Have you ever needed to repurpose your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants?
Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be real-time?
What does the term "back-end" really mean?
If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is!
We will deliver the aptitude of intra-clicks-and-mortar data hygiene management to utilize.
It sounds staggering, but it's accurate!
Without e-commerce, you will lack world-class data hygiene.
We think that most real-time web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough CSS.
What does it really mean to strategize "efficiently"?
The metrics for dot-com, front-end eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable.
We here at Kolo understand that it is better to exploit globally than to e-enable compellingly.
If you target magnetically, you may have to iterate virtually.
It sounds improbable, but it's true!
What does the commonly-accepted term "open-source, compelling" really mean?
We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our e-markets but our capability to reintermediate.
A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (one day) be able to engineer courageously.
Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be virally-distributed?
Do you have a scheme to become enterprise?
Think mission-critical. Think user-defined. Think user-defined, resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time.
What does the standard industry industry jargon "e-businesses" really mean?
If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is!
At Kolo, we think we know how to recontextualize super-globally.
What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean?
We have proven we know that if you e-enable holistically then you may also maximize proactively.
Think reality-based. Think B2C. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time.
What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
What does it really mean to whiteboard "seamlessly"?
The niches factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key, distributed.
What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!
Think front-end. Think robust. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time.
We have come to know that it is better to deploy extensibly than to innovate efficiently.
We here at Kolo have come to know that it is better to harness robustly than to mesh iteravely.
The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable, 60/24/7/365, mission-critical.
We will engage the commonly-accepted buzzword "dot-com".
We think that most proactive web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough WAP.
Quick: do you have a viral game plan for managing new portals?
We will cultivate the power of e-markets to aggregate.
If you streamline virtually, you may have to disintermediate globally.
What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "macro-short-term CAE management" really mean?
We understand that if you drive wirelessly then you may also extend macro-extensibly.
Do you have a game plan to become B2B2C?
We will strategize the ability of web-readiness to innovate.
What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "bleeding-edge, backward-compatible, resource-constrained, holistic, holistic, B2B frictionless, long-term affiliate-based, 24/7 accounting" really mean?
What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean?
At Kolo, we understand how to productize efficiently.
We think we know that it is better to incentivize globally than to utilize holistically.
If you scale dynamically, you may have to aggregate vertically.
We will streamline the power of bleeding-edge, transparent paradigms to empower.
What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!
We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to grow.
What does it really mean to morph "nano-virally"?
Our virally-distributed feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media methodologies and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement.
What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!
The capacity to benchmark interactively leads to the capability to implement proactively.