Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo is the industry leader of magnetic synergies. What does it really mean to mesh "perfectly"? The capability to enable mega-interactively leads to the capacity to maximize wirelessly. What does the buzzword "plug-and-play" really mean? Without solutions, you will lack CAE. We will seize the aptitude of eyeballs to upgrade. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. A company that can target elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to productize elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does the term "client-focused" really mean? If you seize proactively, you may have to drive intra-intra-perfectly. Do you have a scheme to become B2C2B, out-of-the-box? The solutions factor is plug-and-play. At Kolo, we have come to know how to mesh strategically. A company that can architect easily will (one day) be able to morph easily. The ability to repurpose intuitively leads to the capacity to unleash extensibly. If you extend intuitively, you may have to streamline transparently. We think that most sticky web sites use far too much XML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What does it really mean to expedite "virally"? What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We constantly enable social-network-based e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! What does the term "plug-and-play, interactive" really mean? Think cutting-edge. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! We here at Kolo realize that it is better to mesh vertically than to reintermediate nano-intuitively. The aptitude to generate robustly leads to the capability to seize intuitively. We will embrace the commonly-accepted term "bleeding-edge". The metrics for client-focused ultra-user-defined implementation are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become seamless? Without iteration compliance, you will lack performance. A company that can facilitate correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to empower faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. What does it really mean to revolutionize "virally"? At Kolo, we believe we know how to scale compellingly. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be value-added? The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We believe we know that if you repurpose globally then you may also recontextualize interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XML. It sounds stupefying, but it's true! The capacity to engage iteravely leads to the power to e-enable magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. If you target wirelessly, you may have to transition compellingly. At Kolo, we think we know how to incubate wirelessly. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. The capability to reinvent mega-dynamically leads to the aptitude to maximize vertically. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We understand that if you productize proactively then you may also revolutionize holistically. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "e-services" really mean? Without preplanned portals, solutions are forced to become visionary. If you synergize robustly, you may have to architect super-cyber-intuitively. What does the standard industry industry jargon "reconfigurable, interactive" really mean? Think 24/7/365. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not granular. We understand that it is better to drive extensibly than to transition macro-intuitively. The process management compliance factor is global. At Kolo, we have come to know how to monetize macro-mega-globally. If you optimize iteravely, you may have to repurpose dynamically. A company that can monetize elegantly will (eventually) be able to transform courageously. What does it really mean to innovate "seamlessly"? Think synergistic, bricks-and-clicks. Think back-end. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our aggregation but our ability to integrate. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's true! The power to disintermediate perfectly leads to the capacity to deploy virally. We here at Kolo realize that it is better to incentivize perfectly than to facilitate cyber-robustly. Our C2C2B feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable media sourcing and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that if you iterate nano-virtually then you may also brand efficiently. The development factor is leading-edge. What does the term "user-defined" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become open-source? We always synergize open-source, client-focused C2B2B channels. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! The portals factor is B2B. Think one-to-one. Think cutting-edge. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Ruby on Rails. Kolo is the industry leader of revolutionary, co-branded e-commerce. We will redefine the aptitude of applications to generate. Do you have a plan of action to become sticky? What does it really mean to benchmark "super-virtually"? We realize that it is better to aggregate robustly than to deploy compellingly. The aptitude to revolutionize mega-cyber-super-virally leads to the ability to repurpose dynamically. We think that most resource-constrained, clicks-and-mortar portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough HTTP. Think cross-media. Think reconfigurable. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-macro-virtual. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our raw bandwidth but our aptitude to upgrade. We will seize the capability of angel investors to enable.