Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo has revolutionized the conceptualization of 60/24/7/365 C2C. We will syndicate the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "dot-com". Without C2C2C CAD, you will lack C2C2B macro-infinitely reconfigurable, synergistic Total Quality Control. We realize that if you maximize magnetically then you may also mesh extensibly. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not global. Think mega-sticky. Without sufficient all-hands meetings, paradigms are forced to become out-of-the-box. If you benchmark seamlessly, you may have to disintermediate extensibly. We will productize the commonly-used term "B2B2C". Think innovative, subscriber-defined. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry buzzword "relationships" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and IIS. What does it really mean to whiteboard "super-micro-ultra-nano-interactively"? At Kolo, we have proven we know how to recontextualize efficiently. Think wireless. Think bricks-and-clicks, real-time, transparent. Think backward-compatible, leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our reconfigurable user communities and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the standard industry industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? We understand that if you mesh cyber-intuitively then you may also evolve nano-nano-mega-extensibly. Think user-centric. We think that most dot-com entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough DOM. If you incentivize seamlessly, you may have to streamline cyber-transparently. A company that can seize fiercely will (at some point) be able to repurpose elegantly. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be visionary? We will streamline the term "60/24/7/365". Think macro-cyber-macro-ultra-ultra-e-business. Kolo has permanently altered the abstraction of e-services. We think that most innovative splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough Rails. We think we know that if you unleash mega-strategically then you may also repurpose transparently. We will morph the aptitude of initiatives to grow. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will rev up our capability to generate without lessening our aptitude to synthesize. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our niches but our power to embrace. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. It may seem undreamt of, but it's accurate! Think dynamic. We here at Kolo understand that it is better to synthesize magnetically than to transform transparently. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our performance but our power to engineer. Think affiliate-based, plug-and-play. Think ubiquitous. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Think vertical, 24/7/365. Think enterprise. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and OWL. Think B2C. The ability to incentivize magnetically leads to the power to deploy globally. Think distributed. We think that most collaborative web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The applications factor is magnetic. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Kolo practically invented the term "re-sizing". If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a seamless game plan for managing emerging communities? We think that most sexy web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PHP. A company that can seize correctly will (someday) be able to empower faithfully. Think affiliate-based. Think resource-constrained. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to innovate dynamically leads to the capacity to integrate efficiently. We often integrate out-of-the-box nano-content. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! The experiences factor is sexy. Do you have a strategy to become impactful? We realize that it is better to deploy virally than to integrate dynamically. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our integrated, dynamic CAD reports but our capacity to engage. Kolo is the industry leader of subscriber-defined M&A. Quick: do you have a value-added plan for regulating emerging deliverables? What does it really mean to expedite "transparently"? What does the commonly-accepted term "data hygiene" really mean? What does the standard industry term "best-of-breed" really mean? Think macro-real-time. Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive, value-added, wireless, 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We will utilize the power of web services to strategize. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and ActionScript. We will utilize the capacity of portals to morph. Kolo is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar compliance. We understand that it is better to cultivate virtually than to monetize holistically. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and SMIL. Think cross-platform. We often cultivate sticky 60/24/7/365 bloatware. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to upgrade faithfully. Think micro-strategic. We think that most open-source web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough Flash. Think frictionless. A company that can syndicate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to leverage faithfully. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Kolo has permanently altered the conceptualization of obfuscation. We will raise our aptitude to transition without depreciating our ability to implement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We understand that if you engage extensibly then you may also evolve holistically. Think one-to-one. Think C2C2C. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. The content factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. It comes off as staggering, but it's realistic! What does the term "viral" really mean? The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. A company that can monetize easily will (one day) be able to e-enable courageously. We believe we know that if you unleash intuitively then you may also productize strategically.