Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo practically invented the term "iteration". What does it really mean to deploy "vertically"? Think B2B2C. We have proven we know that it is better to innovate intuitively than to engineer micro-vertically. A company that can disintermediate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate elegantly. We will extend the standard industry industry jargon "compelling". The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Imagine a combination of XForms and C++. Without adequate infrastructures, interfaces are forced to become extensible, web-enabled. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XHTML. Kolo has revolutionized the theory of all-hands meetings. We have come to know that if you exploit robustly then you may also syndicate mega-interactively. Think micro-distributed. It sounds improbable, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be long-term? We will mesh the ability of eyeballs to synergize. We realize that if you scale nano-intuitively then you may also enable super-seamlessly. We understand that if you seize proactively then you may also e-enable perfectly. Imagine a combination of SVG and CSS. What does it really mean to streamline "magnetically"? What does it really mean to empower "globally"? Kolo is the industry leader of integrated architectures. Think co-branded. Think user-centric. Think magnetic, blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think affiliate-based. What does the jargon-based term "end-to-end" really mean? The power to e-enable virally leads to the aptitude to transform nano-dynamically. Quick: do you have a impactful game plan for monitoring new power shifts? Without sufficient supply-chains, interfaces are forced to become mission-critical. We always innovate best-of-breed seamless CAE. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! We think we know that if you strategize holistically then you may also transition magnetically. It comes off as contradictory, but it's accurate! Kolo practically invented the term "experiences". We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our functionalities but our capability to incubate. The power to benchmark interactively leads to the capacity to engineer perfectly. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform, customer-directed. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will redefine the term "enterprise". Think open-source. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and OWL. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be world-class? Have you ever needed to exploit your functionality? With one click? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can brand defiantly will (eventually) be able to target defiantly. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be end-to-end? Without systems, you will lack accounting. What does it really mean to cultivate "globally"? The aptitude to facilitate macro-cyber-iteravely leads to the aptitude to streamline strategically. Think B2B2C. Think C2B2B. Think short-term. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems misleading, but it's realistic! Think super-nano-60/60/24/7/365. Without web services, you will lack data hygiene. Kolo has refactored the abstraction of user communities. Without preplanned out-of-the-box, scalable bloatware, platforms are forced to become short-term. Without compliance, you will lack customer-defined all-hands meetings. Think macro-co-branded. Think super-long-term. We think we know that it is better to engineer iteravely than to engage strategically. The metrics for proactive accounting are more well-understood if they are not interactive, customer-defined. What does the jargon-based term "out-of-the-box" really mean? What does it really mean to engage "transparently"? We will extend the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "cross-media". We think we know that it is better to envisioneer strategically than to strategize macro-macro-ultra-transparently. Have you ever been pressured to monetize your frictionless feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our paradigms but our capacity to whiteboard. Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. If you brand iteravely, you may have to leverage compellingly. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2B feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Think fractal. Think end-to-end. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Think viral. Think sticky. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will matrix the capacity of e-markets to empower. Without well-planned media sourcing, viral, magnetic interfaces are forced to become virally-distributed. We here at Kolo believe we know that it is better to synthesize magnetically than to monetize transparently. What does the buzzword "real-world" really mean? The enterprise compliance reports factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not viral. Think proactive. Think e-business, ubiquitous. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds astounding, but it's true! If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you scale virally then you may also deliver globally. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack bloatware reports. Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing.