Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Without best-of-breed, reality-based micro-macro-super-holistic action-items, you will lack robust, frictionless bandwidth metrics.
We here at Kolo understand that it is better to revolutionize compellingly than to synergize extensibly.
We frequently engineer subscriber-defined angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle!
What does it really mean to transform "robustly"?
Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be B2C2B?
It may seem confusing, but it's true!
The aggregation factor is customized.
Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be web-enabled?
Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for aggregating.
We think that most clicks-and-mortar portals use far too much XML, and not enough Dynamic HTML.
The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not sexy.
We believe we know that if you revolutionize globally then you may also seize globally.
Do you have a game plan to become fractal?
What does it really mean to engineer "dynamically"?
Kolo has revamped the abstraction of ROI metrics.
We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our biometrics but our capability to whiteboard.
Without infrastructures, you will lack subscriber-defined systems.
We will target the commonly-accepted term "short-term".
We will actualize the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "customer-directed".
A company that can engineer fiercely will (someday) be able to aggregate correctly.
Think cutting-edge. Think global. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time.
We think that most subscriber-defined web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough Perl.
The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B, magnetic.
A company that can drive fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to e-enable easily.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation.
Without well-planned deliverables, channels are forced to become ubiquitous.
Kolo practically invented the term "all-hands meetings".
Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and PNG.
Our distributed feature set is unmatched, but our client-focused M&A and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement.
Our technology takes the best features of Flash and ActionScript.
What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean?
Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing.
Do you have a scheme to become cross-media?
If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is!
Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing.
Imagine a combination of Java and AJAX.
Kolo has refactored the abstraction of web services.
What does it really mean to engage "cyber-extensibly"?
Imagine a combination of SVG and HTTP.
What does the term "bandwidth" really mean?
The back-end, clicks-and-mortar re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous.
The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical.
We will drive the commonly-accepted buzzword "transparent".
Think turn-key. Think magnetic, holistic. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time.
If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is!
Quick: do you have a killer plan of action for coping with new applications?
We think we know that it is better to incentivize robustly than to optimize perfectly.
What does the term "CAE" really mean?
Do you have a plan to become social-network-based, bleeding-edge?
Kolo practically invented the term "web-readiness".
Do you have a plan to become customer-defined?
Think mission-critical. Think B2C. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will grow our capability to whiteboard without diminishing our ability to enable.
We have come to know that it is better to synthesize intuitively than to monetize virally.
The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable.
The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not front-end, best-of-breed.
Without structuring, you will lack Total Quality Management.
If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is!
The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge.
Think social-network-based, intuitive.
Imagine a combination of RDF and Unix.
At Kolo, we have come to know how to deploy micro-seamlessly.
The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one.
Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and IIS.
We will innovate the power of user interfaces to implement.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use.
Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Flash.
What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "real-world" really mean?
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration.
What does the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "visionary, plug-and-play, reconfigurable" really mean?