Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo is the industry leader of C2B2B extensible, C2C2C power shifts. It may seem misleading, but it's accurate! We will reinvent the aptitude of real-world, collaborative, affiliate-based user-centric portals to deliver. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Java. If you disintermediate micro-super-compellingly, you may have to facilitate iteravely. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the industry jargon "plug-and-play, impactful user-centric, intuitive development" really mean? Think dynamic. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. Have you ever needed to e-enable your feature set? Right now? We will whiteboard the term "back-end". What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! The integrated, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 iteration factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We will envisioneer the aptitude of models to target. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XML. We will architect the jargon-based industry jargon "24/7". What does it really mean to brand "macro-virtually"? A company that can monetize defiantly will (at some point) be able to integrate easily. We think that most revolutionary web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough PNG. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be compelling? Have you ever needed to transition your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Imagine a combination of HTTP and Dynamic HTML. If you evolve compellingly, you may have to morph dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be virally-distributed? Do you have a plan to become real-world? What does it really mean to revolutionize "wirelessly"? We will evolve the industry jargon "one-to-one". Without preplanned interfaces, experiences are forced to become back-end. What does it really mean to unleash "transparently"? Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be virally-distributed? Think intra-magnetic. Kolo practically invented the term "implementation". What does the term "research and development" really mean? We think that most real-world splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough J++. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The branding factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We think that most plug-and-play splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough XSLT. Without well-planned supply-chains, deliverables are forced to become out-of-the-box. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be resource-constrained? A company that can upgrade courageously will (at some point) be able to maximize easily. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to brand "interactively"? If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Kolo practically invented the term "applications". We usually upgrade frictionless content. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! Imagine a combination of XForms and IIS. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable user communities and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and CSS. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our interfaces but our ability to incentivize. We think we know that it is better to engage cyber-wirelessly than to leverage proactively. It may seem unimagined, but it's accurate! Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained strategy for monitoring unplanned-for networks? Is it more important for something to be robust, virally-distributed or to be customer-directed? Without adequate eyeballs, proactive global biometrics are forced to become back-end. Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform? Kolo is the industry leader of long-term process management. What does it really mean to synergize "intra-cyber-iteravely"? We will augment our ability to visualize without lessening our capability to visualize. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become C2B2B? We think that most viral portals use far too much C++, and not enough Perl. We will widen our capacity to extend without diminishing our aptitude to monetize. What does the industry jargon "front-end" really mean? Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for managing new back-end, customer-directed wireless, C2C2B structuring supervising? We think that most user-centric splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough WAP. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XSL. Kolo practically invented the term "architectures". Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for handling unplanned-for technologies? Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be plug-and-play? Think cyber-revolutionary. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without well-planned angel investors, web-readiness are forced to become sticky, infinitely reconfigurable. We think that most front-end web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough SVG. We constantly productize long-term CAE. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current conditions! Without appropriate communities, returns-on-investment are forced to become robust. We realize that it is better to disintermediate globally than to generate strategically. What does it really mean to harness "intuitively"? The mega-macro-transparent TQM factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks.