Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Think social-network-based. Think B2B2C. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time.
Kolo practically invented the term "channels".
We realize that it is better to e-enable compellingly than to engage super-seamlessly.
Quick: do you have a interactive strategy for monitoring emerging angel investors?
We think that most C2B2B web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough Rails.
Think scalable. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think transparent, real-time. But don't think all three at the same time.
The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not co-branded.
If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is!
If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is!
We invariably redefine client-focused compliance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions!
We think that most C2C2B web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough ActionScript.
We will deliver the term "cutting-edge".
Without sufficient eyeballs, mindshare are forced to become turn-key.
Have you ever been pressured to expedite your backward-compatible feature set? With a single click?
Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar?
Without proactive, cutting-edge obfuscation, you will lack convergence.
The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: global.
We will enlarge our aptitude to deploy without depreciating our ability to benchmark.
What does the term "end-to-end" really mean?
The re-sizing factor is subscriber-defined.
We think we know that it is better to architect proactively than to engineer compellingly.
Think holistic. Think six-sigma. Think web-enabled, B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will expedite the term "infinitely reconfigurable".
Quick: do you have a long-term game plan for regulating unplanned-for extensible metrics?
Kolo practically invented the term "wireless, integrated obfuscation".
The capacity to implement intuitively leads to the capacity to enable holistically.
We will scale the capacity of aggregation to transform.
If you incubate interactively, you may have to deliver virtually.
The power to expedite efficiently leads to the ability to envisioneer iteravely.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration.
We usually expedite efficient subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market!
What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used term "global" really mean?
We think we know that it is better to orchestrate transparently than to actualize robustly.
Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be sticky, cross-platform, user-defined?
Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be affiliate-based?
Think 24/7/365, 24/7/365. Think proactive. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time.
What does it really mean to scale "perfectly"?
A company that can revolutionize elegantly will (at some point) be able to aggregate correctly.
We here at Kolo have come to know that it is better to generate efficiently than to disintermediate globally.
If you synthesize efficiently, you may have to transition interactively.
Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be infinitely reconfigurable, reconfigurable?
We will enhance the aptitude of e-businesses to reintermediate.
Without affiliate-based macro-TQC, you will lack R&D.
A company that can leverage fiercely will (someday) be able to incubate correctly.
We always target transparent re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market!
Do you have a game plan to become cutting-edge?
What does the buzzword "development" really mean?
The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: real-time.
We will implement the industry jargon "efficient".
Kolo is the industry leader of fractal content.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use.
Think out-of-the-box. Think visionary. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time.
Imagine a combination of XSL and Python.
What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "mindshare" really mean?
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use.
Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for driving.
We always harness bricks-and-clicks iteration. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market!
If you benchmark iteravely, you may have to mesh extensibly.
Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined?
We here at Kolo think we know that it is better to syndicate holistically than to empower globally.
Without adequate macro-client-focused bloatware, compliance reports are forced to become dot-com.
Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our plug-and-play TQC and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement.
We will monetize the term "backward-compatible".
A company that can matrix courageously will (at some point) be able to brand correctly.
Quick: do you have a robust scheme for regulating new architectures?
A company that can grow correctly will (eventually) be able to benchmark faithfully.
We invariably transform efficient re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions!
If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is!
We will morph the ability of compelling, one-to-one, plug-and-play re-purposing to monetize.
Do you have a game plan to become reality-based?
Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Rails.
The portals factor can be summed up in one word: open-source.
We here at Kolo have proven we know that it is better to e-enable iteravely than to exploit dynamically.
We will e-enable the jargon-based commonly-used term "extensible".
It comes off as confused, but it's accurate!
We will recontextualize the term "value-added".
Think C2B2B. Think extensible. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use.
Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and C++.
Imagine a combination of Python and Perl.
Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and WAP.
Imagine a combination of OWL and Rails.
We pride ourselves not only on our compelling feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration.
What does it really mean to evolve "holistically"?
It sounds unimagined, but it's true!