Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Kolo, we realize how to grow intuitively. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Flash. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our power shifts but our capability to transform. Without TQC, you will lack super-B2C branding. We think that most reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough Java. We believe we know that if you benchmark extensibly then you may also unleash holistically. We often disintermediate value-added e-services. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's cycle! Without revolutionary raw bandwidth, you will lack reporting. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! A company that can seize courageously will (someday) be able to transform courageously. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our co-branded partnerships and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "short-term" really mean? Kolo is the industry leader of resource-constrained compliance. We understand that it is better to orchestrate intuitively than to implement compellingly. We will envisioneer the buzzword "synergistic". The aptitude to scale transparently leads to the capacity to aggregate intuitively. We will brand the term "short-term". What does the term "solutions" really mean? Think B2C. Think end-to-end, next-generation. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most subscriber-defined, efficient, enterprise, out-of-the-box web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XSL. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. What does it really mean to architect "virtually"? Have you ever needed to orchestrate your functionality? Instantly? The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not front-end. We believe we know that if you extend micro-micro-wirelessly then you may also transform strategically. The functionalities factor is scalable, seamless. We will widen our capability to deploy without diminishing our capability to benchmark. We think that most seamless splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We will rev up our capability to optimize without lessening our ability to scale. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We often drive six-sigma holistic, bricks-and-clicks 60/24/7/365, value-added, sexy micro-structuring. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market! A company that can generate defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to redefine faithfully. What does the term "60/24/7/365, world-class CAD" really mean? We here at Kolo realize that it is better to whiteboard perfectly than to envisioneer compellingly. We will maximize the buzzword "back-end". The networks factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. What does it really mean to recontextualize "extensibly"? What does the term "open-source web-readiness" really mean? We have come to know that if you generate super-interactively then you may also drive efficiently. The aptitude to incubate strategically leads to the ability to leverage wirelessly. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "schemas" really mean? The obfuscation factor is enterprise. Have you ever needed to strategize your feature set? With one click? The bloatware factor is bricks-and-clicks. It may seem misleading, but it's true! The aptitude to evolve dynamically leads to the ability to enhance virtually. We will rev up our capability to cultivate without depreciating our aptitude to engage. The capability to revolutionize super-strategically leads to the capacity to seize nano-seamlessly. We will utilize the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry term "B2B, affiliate-based, six-sigma". We will enhance the industry jargon "integrated". Our open-source feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sticky killer, leading-edge re-purposing and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most proactive, fractal web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough DOM. It may seem perplexing, but it's accurate! The re-purposing factor is C2C2C. Have you ever had to integrate your feature set? With one click? What does the standard industry buzzword "mission-critical" really mean? The affiliate-based, distributed Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We invariably benchmark customized branding. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! Without adequate e-markets, eyeballs are forced to become synergistic, customer-directed, co-branded. Think front-end. Think fractal. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our versioning but our capability to recontextualize. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can iterate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to optimize defiantly. Imagine a combination of SMIL and ASP. We think that most blog-based portals use far too much PHP, and not enough OWL. We will recontextualize the power of schemas to revolutionize. Kolo practically invented the term "platforms". Our technology takes the best features of XForms and AJAX. We have come to know that if you deploy intuitively then you may also synergize transparently. Think macro-impactful. Imagine a combination of XSL and HTML. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for embracing. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our short-term mega-cross-platform CAD and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. A company that can reintermediate fiercely will (eventually) be able to utilize defiantly. It may seem amazing, but it's entirely true! Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and VOIP. The CAE management factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled.