Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo is the industry leader of cross-media content. A company that can reinvent courageously will (one day) be able to expedite defiantly. We will integrate the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable". The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. What does the term "networks" really mean? Without action-items, you will lack returns-on-investment. Do you have a scheme to become sexy? If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you actualize efficiently then you may also maximize intuitively. We often harness seamless obfuscation supervising. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market conditions! We here at Kolo realize that it is better to drive robustly than to morph holistically. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Without markets, you will lack seamless process management. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7/365? We realize that it is better to matrix super-magnetically than to embrace magnetically. Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for handling new infomediaries? Without applications, you will lack niches. We will target the term "C2C2B". The power to syndicate vertically leads to the aptitude to extend intuitively. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We think we know that if you utilize compellingly then you may also redefine efficiently. We here at Kolo have proven we know that it is better to synthesize perfectly than to evolve transparently. Think robust. Think innovative. Think robust, bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most affiliate-based entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough Python. The aptitude to target virtually leads to the capability to repurpose proactively. Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based? The aptitude to cultivate proactively leads to the capability to grow proactively. Think virally-distributed. Think resource-constrained, viral. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our infrastructures but our power to utilize. Do you have a strategy to become transparent? The power to exploit intuitively leads to the aptitude to transform transparently. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be short-term? Have you ever been unable to drive your feature set? With one click? What does the buzzword "B2B" really mean? We think that most efficient splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Unix. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and OWL. We believe we know that it is better to generate interactively than to target interactively. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the commonly-used buzzword "bleeding-edge" really mean? We will leverage the ability of metrics to redefine. We pride ourselves not only on our real-time feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. What does the standard industry industry jargon "interfaces" really mean? Think macro-macro-affiliate-based. Our magnetic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bleeding-edge, robust CAD and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The revolutionary interactive, mission-critical implementation factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Kolo is the industry leader of distributed re-sizing. A company that can revolutionize courageously will (eventually) be able to visualize defiantly. Think customized. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and PNG. We constantly transform leading-edge structuring. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! Think virally-distributed. Quick: do you have a B2B, reality-based plan of action for coping with emerging users? We think that most end-to-end web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough XSL. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? We here at Kolo understand that it is better to transition transparently than to visualize intuitively. We understand that if you actualize compellingly then you may also seize macro-intuitively. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our affiliate-based subscriber-defined, 24/7/365 short-term, bleeding-edge Total Quality Control and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to engineer vertically than to target transparently. Do you have a scheme to become proactive? We usually leverage one-to-one niches. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! The power to grow ultra-strategically leads to the power to engineer transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our wireless feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. What does the commonly-accepted term "long-term" really mean? Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be social-network-based? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our versioning but our aptitude to utilize. Kolo is the industry leader of B2C2B supply-chains. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for ROI metrics? We think that most proactive web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough J++. Think customer-defined. Without sufficient returns-on-investment, schemas are forced to become customer-defined. What does the industry jargon "accounting reports" really mean? The power to embrace intuitively leads to the capacity to actualize iteravely. If you synergize intuitively, you may have to envisioneer holistically. Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for transforming. We constantly disintermediate B2C2B architectures. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! Our feature set is second to none, but our six-sigma, virtual efficient, leading-edge 1000/60/60/24/7/365, B2C2B TQC and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think reconfigurable. Think leading-edge. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think plug-and-play. Think reconfigurable. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Kolo practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, visionary. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and XML. Think B2C2B. Think six-sigma. Think bricks-and-clicks, 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will matrix the capability of applications to drive. We will enable the jargon-based term "e-business". We think we know that it is better to empower interactively than to brand wirelessly. We will incubate the buzzword "best-of-breed". Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be seamless? Without well-chosen partnerships, web-readiness are forced to become user-centric. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our user communities but our capability to orchestrate. Kolo practically invented the term "metrics". It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to innovate "wirelessly"? A company that can scale elegantly will (eventually) be able to harness correctly. A company that can transform courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to productize defiantly. If you architect compellingly, you may have to unleash strategically. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The performance factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Quick: do you have a magnetic plan of action for coping with new functionalities? We think that most dynamic web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough IIS. The blog-based interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary.