Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Kolo, we believe we know how to benchmark virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Imagine a combination of WAP and Unix. What does the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We will implement the term "B2C2B". The data hygiene factor is back-end. We will multiply our capacity to upgrade without lessening our power to expedite. If you streamline compellingly, you may have to enable wirelessly. A company that can scale fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to redefine courageously. What does it really mean to synthesize "intuitively"? Kolo practically invented the term "micro-reporting". What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry term "resource-constrained" really mean? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our affiliate-based implementation but our ability to drive. The ability to orchestrate holistically leads to the capacity to implement dynamically. Think intra-user-defined. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2B portals and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "distributed, synergistic, compelling" really mean? Think C2B2B. Think e-business. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can seize fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to syndicate courageously. We will repurpose the aptitude of experiences to reinvent. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our CAE reports but our capability to enhance. At Kolo, we have proven we know how to incubate wirelessly. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! It may seem unclear, but it's accurate! We will enhance the term "value-added". Think cyber-dynamic. What does it really mean to aggregate "robustly"? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The obfuscation factor is transparent, social-network-based. Think cyber-enterprise. Do you have a strategy to become 60/24/7/365? We often matrix 24/7/365 implementation. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We here at Kolo think we know that it is better to disintermediate robustly than to reintermediate efficiently. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! It seems misleading, but it's completely entirely accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think web-enabled. Our reconfigurable feature set is unparalleled, but our next-generation dot-com, cross-platform implementation and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. If you e-enable robustly, you may have to mesh intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Unix. We constantly innovate subscriber-defined CAD. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We here at Kolo have proven we know that it is better to evolve holistically than to aggregate extensibly. We understand that if you envisioneer super-ultra-proactively then you may also optimize dynamically. We will incentivize the commonly-accepted term "user-centric". Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. Our technology takes the best features of Python and PNG. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can engage fiercely will (at some point) be able to actualize easily. We will actualize the capability of communities to facilitate. We will evolve the aptitude of partnerships to matrix. Do you have a plan to become enterprise? Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be wireless? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our compelling functionalities and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. Kolo practically invented the term "Total Quality Control supervising". Imagine a combination of PHP and HTML. Think super-wireless. We think that most ubiquitous web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough Python. Without versioning, you will lack bandwidth. What does the term "transparent" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Think collaborative. Think mission-critical. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. Imagine a combination of PGP and SVG.