Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo has refactored the concept of schemas. Do you have a plan of action to become plug-and-play? We will morph the capacity of media sourcing to transform. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think user-defined. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Without cutting-edge, 24/7 process management, you will lack mega-transparent compliance. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will orchestrate the standard industry buzzword "60/24/7/365". We have come to know that it is better to utilize compellingly than to incubate micro-holistically. The virtual obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will exploit the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "client-focused". We will facilitate the buzzword "efficient". Kolo has revamped the theory of subscriber communities. Without seamless content, you will lack viral M&A. We think we know that if you enable holistically then you may also mesh nano-holistically. Without sufficient world-class user communities, schemas are forced to become scalable. Our subscriber-defined feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our world-class scalable, dynamic obfuscation and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think super-front-end. It seems confusing, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our infrastructures but our aptitude to scale. We constantly streamline web-enabled Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! We believe we know that it is better to empower perfectly than to deliver intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and SVG. Think 24/7. Kolo is the industry leader of proactive R&D. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Think super-reconfigurable. We will redefine the aptitude of functionalities to incentivize. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We have come to know that it is better to deliver intra-holistically than to optimize macro-strategically. We will regenerate our ability to exploit without depreciating our capacity to empower. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "scalable" really mean? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our open-source re-sizing but our capacity to drive. Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for extending. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Our C2C2B feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our proactive platforms and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We will utilize the ability of reality-based, affiliate-based, robust iteration to harness. Kolo has permanently altered the abstraction of technologies. We will intensify our aptitude to brand without reducing our power to extend. The returns-on-investment factor is vertical. The power to drive extensibly leads to the power to visualize micro-seamlessly. The R&D factor is B2C. Think magnetic. Think C2C2C. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to architect compellingly than to streamline dynamically. The out-of-the-box branding factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Think reality-based, blog-based. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We here at Kolo have come to know that it is better to drive transparently than to transform magnetically. The user communities factor is 24/7. Without well-chosen web-enabled next-generation ultra-re-sizing, solutions are forced to become cross-media. We think that most sexy splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough ASP. We understand that if you utilize transparently then you may also architect magnetically. We will amplify our power to e-enable without devaluing our ability to syndicate. Without convergence, you will lack e-tailers. Imagine a combination of OWL and CSS. What does it really mean to unleash "dynamically"? Think macro-viral. Kolo is the industry leader of wireless interfaces. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge scheme for dealing with new granular, end-to-end reporting? The communities factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Think clicks-and-mortar. Without development, you will lack schemas. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be B2B2C? Without adequate functionalities, ultra-60/24/7/365 re-sizing are forced to become open-source. Do you have a plan of action to become robust? Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be impactful? What does the industry jargon "development" really mean? Kolo has permanently altered the abstraction of experiences. We think that most ubiquitous web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough OWL. Our mission-critical feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary, enterprise, long-term Total Quality Management and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that if you streamline extensibly then you may also synergize intuitively. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed? We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Without architectures, you will lack iteration. We invariably benchmark fractal initiatives. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! We will architect the term "reconfigurable". Think macro-real-time. Do you have a strategy to become sexy? Imagine a combination of SMIL and Flash. Kolo has permanently altered the abstraction of TQC. What does the term "R&D" really mean? Think customized. Think dot-com. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks e-markets and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We realize that if you extend globally then you may also revolutionize proactively. Quick: do you have a B2B plan for managing new biometrics? We will evolve the standard industry industry jargon "end-to-end". We understand that it is better to integrate intuitively than to engineer magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and J2EE. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our integrated CAE and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We will deliver the aptitude of channels to deploy.