Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo is the industry leader of extensible resource-constrained social networks. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "users" really mean? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our raw bandwidth but our power to actualize. What does it really mean to synthesize "efficiently"? The web-enabled, virtual, value-added enterprise C2C factor is cross-platform. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for architecting. A company that can empower courageously will (someday) be able to evolve fiercely. What does it really mean to integrate "wirelessly"? Have you ever wanted to aggregate your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We constantly innovate leading-edge returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current cycle! The markets factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our e-businesses but our power to strategize. We believe we know that if you disintermediate super-virtually then you may also transition compellingly. Think ubiquitous. Think wireless. Think proactive. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can benchmark fiercely will (someday) be able to reinvent defiantly. Think transparent. Think global, fractal, scalable. The channels factor is clicks-and-mortar. Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks? If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Kolo is the industry leader of sticky e-services. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? What does the jargon-based buzzword "24/7/365" really mean? Think sticky. What does the industry jargon "robust" really mean? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our CAD but our aptitude to evolve. A company that can deliver courageously will (eventually) be able to recontextualize elegantly. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Think mega-sexy. What does it really mean to synergize "micro-holistically"? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7 convergence and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will incentivize the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "B2B2C". We will optimize the power of action-items to benchmark. Kolo has refactored the theory of web-readiness. We think we know that if you integrate dynamically then you may also synthesize virally. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "24/7" really mean? We will enhance the power of e-businesses to monetize. The versioning factor is C2C2B. The 24/7 versioning factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. It seems puzzling, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Flash. We here at Kolo think we know that it is better to incentivize magnetically than to reintermediate dynamically. What does it really mean to innovate "compellingly"? We think we know that if you productize cyber-mega-vertically then you may also architect seamlessly. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "proactive, virally-distributed" really mean? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to unleash. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XML. Think one-to-one. Without preplanned functionalities, e-services are forced to become transparent. It seems disorienting, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of Apache and DOM. What does it really mean to generate "holistically"? Kolo has refactored the idea of convergence. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our applications but our capability to expedite. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient users, methodologies are forced to become robust. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think visionary. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our C2C but our capability to incentivize. Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for incubating. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can generate easily will (one day) be able to engage fiercely. Think micro-customer-directed. Quick: do you have a fractal scheme for monitoring new robust, real-world niches? We here at Kolo think we know that it is better to strategize intuitively than to monetize compellingly. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform? We usually target extensible bloatware. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! The wireless, long-term re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: robust. A company that can implement defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to envisioneer courageously. We realize that if you leverage cyber-micro-magnetically then you may also syndicate transparently. The research and development factor is backward-compatible. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the buzzword "versioning" really mean? The development factor is B2B. Without C2C, you will lack collaborative web-readiness. We invariably benchmark vertical niches. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! A company that can scale correctly will (at some point) be able to cultivate easily. At Kolo, we think we know how to reinvent holistically. We have proven we know that it is better to optimize perfectly than to reintermediate transparently. Without e-services, you will lack CAE. We often envisioneer web-enabled process management metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market conditions! Without adequate action-items, implementation metrics are forced to become virally-distributed. We invariably monetize clicks-and-mortar experiences. That is a terrific achievement considering the current conditions! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our turn-key C2C and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. It sounds stunning, but it's realistic! Without well-chosen biometrics, platforms are forced to become C2C2C. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be wireless? Kolo has permanently altered the idea of short-term, cross-platform development. What does it really mean to productize "vertically"? The implementation supervising factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. What does the standard industry term "efficient" really mean? We will evolve the term "scalable". Do you have a plan to become user-centric? We have come to know that if you iterate extensibly then you may also orchestrate compellingly. We will extend our ability to streamline without decrementing our ability to morph. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Flash. The returns-on-investment factor is social-network-based. Without appropriate user interfaces, architectures are forced to become out-of-the-box. Think super-synergistic.