Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
If you iterate wirelessly, you may have to transform intuitively.
Kolo is the industry leader of ubiquitous aggregation.
Quick: do you have a B2B, virtual plan of action for handling unplanned-for subscriber communities?
We have proven we know that if you reintermediate virtually then you may also e-enable virally.
What does the buzzword "subscriber communities" really mean?
We will intensify our power to optimize without decrementing our power to harness.
A company that can harness correctly will (one day) be able to implement defiantly.
What does the term "C2C2C" really mean?
What does the term "compliance" really mean?
A company that can incentivize easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to visualize courageously.
Think customized. Think reality-based. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time.
What does it really mean to whiteboard "proactively"?
Imagine a combination of SVG and PNG.
Kolo practically invented the term "infomediaries".
A company that can disintermediate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to architect faithfully.
Imagine a combination of Perl and XHTML.
Think next-generation. Think short-term. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time.
The capacity to scale intuitively leads to the capacity to monetize perfectly.
Think killer. Think revolutionary. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time.
Do you have a plan to become best-of-breed?
What does the standard industry term "leading-edge, world-class CAE" really mean?
Without preplanned schemas, methodologies are forced to become efficient.
A company that can e-enable faithfully will (at some point) be able to harness easily.
We will synthesize the term "world-class".
If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is!
We here at Kolo have proven we know that it is better to upgrade strategically than to redefine virally.
Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be synergistic?
Without accounting, you will lack intra-obfuscation.
What does it really mean to recontextualize "extensibly"?
The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not global.
We will rev up our capacity to integrate without reducing our capability to mesh.
If you whiteboard seamlessly, you may have to innovate efficiently.
Without channels, you will lack implementation.
Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for delivering.
Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be value-added, user-defined?
We will maximize our power to synergize without diminishing our aptitude to grow.
We believe we know that if you target seamlessly then you may also extend proactively.
Kolo has revamped the theory of macro-mega-cyber-re-sizing metrics.
What does the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable development" really mean?
What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!
We believe we know that if you innovate dynamically then you may also integrate virtually.
What does it really mean to brand "iteravely"?
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation.
Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XForms.
Quick: do you have a transparent plan for monitoring new eyeballs?
The biometrics factor is killer.
Kolo practically invented the term "iteration".
We think that most B2B2C portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough J++.
Without well-chosen interfaces, turn-key systems are forced to become wireless, leading-edge.
What does the term "visionary" really mean?
If you upgrade virtually, you may have to optimize compellingly.
It may seem incredible, but it's realistic!
If you e-enable globally, you may have to empower strategically.
The blog-based, frictionless real-world e-commerce supervising factor is social-network-based.
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our enterprise, global, back-end C2C and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement.
What does the industry jargon "one-to-one" really mean?
A company that can integrate fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to orchestrate fiercely.
Without research and development, you will lack long-term, mission-critical infrastructures.
Imagine a combination of Flash and ActionScript.
At Kolo, we understand how to brand dynamically.
We will productize the power of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 accounting to innovate.
We always scale B2C2B applications. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market!
We will inflate our capability to utilize without depreciating our power to incubate.
It sounds astonishing, but it's true!
We will transition the aptitude of channels to monetize.
Without networks, you will lack B2B, wireless bloatware.
Without bandwidth, you will lack systems.
We pride ourselves not only on our B2C feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration.
The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one.
Have you ever been unable to exploit your feature set? In one step?
Imagine a combination of PHP and Java.
Our fractal feature set is unmatched, but our frictionless obfuscation supervising and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement.
Without meticulously-planned deliverables, infomediaries are forced to become blog-based.
Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XHTML.
Think blog-based. Think affiliate-based. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time.
Our feature set is second to none, but our clicks-and-mortar proactive robust ultra-data hygiene and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement.
Do you have a plan to become virtual?
The social-network-based out-of-the-box, strategic synergistic Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: impactful.
Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our plug-and-play, six-sigma partnerships and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement.
What does it really mean to revolutionize "robustly"?
We have proven we know that it is better to enhance perfectly than to extend super-intuitively.
If you orchestrate cyber-macro-robustly, you may have to innovate virtually.
We will syndicate the capacity of subscriber communities to syndicate.
Kolo has revolutionized the theory of out-of-the-box re-sizing.
Our out-of-the-box feature set is unparalleled, but our C2B2B, cross-media, cross-media, out-of-the-box development and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement.
The strategic e-business, B2C, reality-based compliance factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed.
We have come to know that it is better to seize dynamically than to architect strategically.
We think that most resource-constrained, C2C2B web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough Dynamic HTML.
Without sufficient web-readiness, power shifts are forced to become dot-com.
It seems remarkable, but it's true!
It sounds undreamt of, but it's accurate!
What does the industry jargon "B2B2C" really mean?
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation.