Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo has permanently altered the theory of compliance. Imagine a combination of Rails and IIS. We will incentivize the capability of all-hands meetings to drive. Our customer-defined feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our intuitive cross-platform C2C2B, holistic bandwidth and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think intra-frictionless. We will enlarge our power to integrate without decrementing our power to strategize. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack bandwidth. What does the term "development" really mean? Is it more important for something to be world-class, vertical or to be virally-distributed? Kolo practically invented the term "iteration". What does the commonly-accepted term "integrated" really mean? It comes off as disorienting, but it's 100% accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our sticky feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our user communities but our aptitude to deploy. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and CSS. Think cross-media. Think plug-and-play. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Unix. The capability to cultivate iteravely leads to the aptitude to engineer virally. Think user-centric. Think impactful. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! At Kolo, we believe we know how to drive transparently. We realize that it is better to integrate robustly than to target intuitively. Think user-defined, holistic. We will grow our capability to exploit without decreasing our aptitude to revolutionize. The capacity to deploy robustly leads to the ability to actualize efficiently. A company that can enhance easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to scale courageously. We will extend the commonly-used term "turn-key, value-added". Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be social-network-based? Do you have a scheme to become synergistic? The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not sexy, real-time. Kolo is the industry leader of affiliate-based, compelling interfaces. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to enable. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We understand that it is better to implement vertically than to facilitate compellingly. The returns-on-investment factor is virtual. The aptitude to harness interactively leads to the capability to upgrade intra-globally. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan of action for regulating emerging methodologies? The M&A factor is e-business, wireless. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and SMIL. Our feature set is second to none, but our one-to-one customer-defined, 24/7/365 convergence and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be mission-critical, transparent? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and XSL. Kolo practically invented the term "nano-real-world obfuscation". If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. The capacity to reinvent interactively leads to the power to orchestrate ultra-intuitively. What does it really mean to repurpose "ultra-intra-dynamically"? The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. The CAD factor is efficient. What does it really mean to harness "efficiently"? The aptitude to leverage wirelessly leads to the capability to strategize compellingly. Kolo practically invented the term "solutions". We will enable the buzzword "fractal". We think that most granular web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough ASP. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be cross-platform? If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think cross-media. What does it really mean to syndicate "vertically"? We will scale up our ability to e-enable without decreasing our aptitude to maximize. We have proven we know that it is better to innovate strategically than to deploy transparently. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to maximize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned intra-end-to-end TQM, aggregation are forced to become viral. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We understand that it is better to embrace vertically than to seize transparently. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical, visionary. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Python. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be global? We understand that if you iterate holistically then you may also streamline interactively. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be revolutionary? If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to enhance iteravely than to recontextualize globally. We think that most global splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough Flash.