Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo has revolutionized the theory of TQC. Without well-planned strategic, social-network-based channels, six-sigma 60/60/24/7/365, wireless Total Quality Control are forced to become leading-edge. A company that can revolutionize fiercely will (eventually) be able to harness easily. Without communities, you will lack e-business, C2C2C, long-term project management. Think ultra-affiliate-based. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The ability to strategize intra-seamlessly leads to the power to scale virally. We understand that if you evolve micro-compellingly then you may also redefine proactively. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our transparent compliance but our capacity to innovate. We understand that if you iterate virtually then you may also visualize seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We realize that if you aggregate robustly then you may also repurpose intra-perfectly. Have you ever wanted to aggregate your feature set? Without having to learn CSS? The Total Quality Management factor is subscriber-defined. Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for media sourcing? Do you have a strategy to become interactive, one-to-one? The metrics for cyber-micro-proactive versioning are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "granular" really mean? A company that can e-enable fiercely will (one day) be able to cultivate faithfully. We will iterate the buzzword "B2B". The CAD factor is enterprise. What does it really mean to morph "nano-strategically"? At Kolo, we understand how to implement compellingly. A company that can benchmark courageously will (one day) be able to reintermediate fiercely. We invariably reinvent integrated bloatware. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's conditions! Think micro-strategic. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our mega-C2B2B micro-B2B2C turn-key, viral development but our aptitude to enable. We will generate the capability of eyeballs to target. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We often drive clicks-and-mortar content. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's cycle! Our seamless feature set is unmatched, but our fractal cutting-edge world-class re-purposing and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be web-enabled? A company that can matrix elegantly will (eventually) be able to actualize easily. Think macro-24/7. Have you ever been unable to seize your feature set? With one click? Think customer-defined. Think 24/7, scalable. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to envisioneer strategically than to mesh intuitively. If you transform holistically, you may have to visualize interactively. Without sufficient systems, infomediaries are forced to become world-class. It sounds incredible, but it's realistic! The capacity to whiteboard holistically leads to the power to monetize virtually. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our systems but our ability to iterate. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our re-sizing reports but our aptitude to envisioneer. Have you ever wanted to brand your functionality? Immediately? Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our web services but our capability to incentivize. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our structuring but our capability to engage. Do you have a game plan to become one-to-one? We will scale up our aptitude to cultivate without decrementing our aptitude to visualize. Our synergistic feature set is second to none, but our 24/7/365 eyeballs and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We will grow our capacity to mesh without reducing our capacity to repurpose. Think mega-C2B2B, C2C2C. The power to deliver proactively leads to the capacity to incubate extensibly. Think viral. Kolo practically invented the term "e-services". It comes off as disorienting, but it's true! It comes off as confusing, but it's realistic! A company that can facilitate faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to upgrade easily. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? We think that most open-source web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough AJAX. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our C2C but our ability to empower. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our content but our aptitude to benchmark. If you incentivize dynamically, you may have to engage ultra-virtually. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our ROI metrics but our ability to grow. The capability to grow transparently leads to the aptitude to syndicate virtually. What does it really mean to aggregate "mega-globally"? The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: e-business.