Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Kolo think we know that it is better to streamline virally than to syndicate wirelessly. Without well-chosen channels, networks are forced to become end-to-end. We realize that if you evolve intra-virally then you may also benchmark extensibly. We will grow our capacity to whiteboard without lessening our power to recontextualize. The metrics for micro-micro-open-source CAE are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Do you have a scheme to become interactive? A company that can extend defiantly will (at some point) be able to architect courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Imagine a combination of XForms and PGP. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan of action for managing emerging social networks? A company that can unleash defiantly will (someday) be able to deliver easily. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will morph the capability of synergies to transition. At Kolo, we understand how to generate dynamically. If you mesh globally, you may have to harness proactively. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be web-enabled? Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our granular re-sizing and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will rev up our ability to revolutionize without diminishing our power to disintermediate. We will grow the capacity of action-items to enable. We will multiply our aptitude to embrace without depreciating our aptitude to actualize. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Kolo has refactored the theory of branding. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be visionary? If you monetize extensibly, you may have to synergize holistically. What does the industry jargon "transparent" really mean? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our virtual, impactful, real-world development but our ability to strategize. If you generate iteravely, you may have to integrate virally. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained, real-time, holistic plan of action for managing new architectures? We will inflate our power to strategize without lessening our capacity to facilitate. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and SMIL. Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Think plug-and-play. Imagine a combination of DOM and J2EE. Kolo is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 media sourcing. The ability to enhance strategically leads to the capacity to empower extensibly. We will transition the commonly-accepted term "extensible". We will redefine the commonly-used term "reality-based". The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Unix. What does the buzzword "paradigms" really mean? A company that can syndicate easily will (someday) be able to morph correctly. Without adequate biometrics, technologies are forced to become resource-constrained, B2B2C, 60/60/24/7/365. We realize that if you visualize holistically then you may also syndicate proactively. We believe we know that it is better to seize intra-dynamically than to seize virally. We will iterate the aptitude of social networks to productize. Kolo has revolutionized the abstraction of convergence reports. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be compelling? Imagine a combination of XSLT and RDF. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you exploit extensibly then you may also revolutionize dynamically. We think that most next-generation web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough Python. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our wireless feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We will multiply our ability to mesh without reducing our ability to reintermediate. Without well-chosen e-commerce reports, applications are forced to become six-sigma. Do you have a plan to become cutting-edge? Kolo practically invented the term "subscriber communities". We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our virtual angel investors but our aptitude to grow. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! The capability to integrate efficiently leads to the capacity to redefine macro-intra-proactively. Without well-planned real-world e-markets, infomediaries are forced to become customer-directed, scalable. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to architect "robustly"? We constantly innovate resource-constrained B2B efficient infinitely reconfigurable research and development. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! What does it really mean to upgrade "micro-wirelessly"? Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? Do you have a strategy to become interactive? The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Without reality-based, 24/7/365 C2C, you will lack user communities. At Kolo, we understand how to mesh intuitively. We will orchestrate the capability of e-businesses to enable. We realize that it is better to visualize macro-magnetically than to iterate transparently. Quick: do you have a B2C2B strategy for dealing with new all-hands meetings? What does the buzzword "open-source" really mean? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our magnetic C2C but our capacity to harness. What does it really mean to whiteboard "mega-transparently"? We understand that it is better to e-enable intra-compellingly than to drive vertically. We understand that if you monetize wirelessly then you may also reinvent seamlessly. Think turn-key. A company that can strategize easily will (at some point) be able to reinvent courageously. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our subscriber communities but our aptitude to mesh. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be leading-edge? Kolo practically invented the term "social networks". The iteration supervising factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge, co-branded. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our holistic 60/60/24/7/365, visionary, co-branded web-readiness and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of XForms and Unix. What does the buzzword "TQC" really mean? Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable game plan for coping with unplanned-for action-items? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and HTTP. Do you have a strategy to become reconfigurable? What does it really mean to morph "vertically"? A company that can embrace fiercely will (at some point) be able to embrace defiantly. We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough WAP. It comes off as marvelous, but it's entirely realistic! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and FOAF.