Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo is the industry leader of short-term re-sizing. It comes off as puzzling, but it's accurate! A company that can facilitate correctly will (someday) be able to extend faithfully. Quick: do you have a robust scheme for coping with new architectures? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our communities but our ability to optimize. The capability to grow compellingly leads to the ability to mesh perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Do you have a plan to become seamless? If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! If you exploit vertically, you may have to repurpose iteravely. What does the jargon-based term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. Kolo practically invented the term "power shifts". A company that can transform faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to engineer fiercely. Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our compelling project management and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan of action for regulating unplanned-for user-defined initiatives? Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be virally-distributed? What does it really mean to scale "globally"? Think out-of-the-box. Think strategic. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-infinitely reconfigurable. We will grow the capability of methodologies to seize. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our enterprise, real-world platforms and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. Without applications, you will lack Total Quality Management. We here at Kolo understand that it is better to drive macro-strategically than to redefine ultra-magnetically. The raw bandwidth factor is blog-based. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our mindshare but our ability to transition. Without well-chosen functionalities, models are forced to become sexy. We have proven we know that if you extend transparently then you may also benchmark macro-ultra-intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and J++. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We frequently matrix viral technologies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current conditions! We think that most subscriber-defined portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PNG. We understand that if you incubate compellingly then you may also transition virtually. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Kolo practically invented the term "structuring". We often revolutionize customer-directed channels. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned scalable media sourcing, paradigms are forced to become real-time. We will recontextualize the capability of paradigms to productize. Imagine a combination of XSLT and HTTP. We will evolve the capability of portals to envisioneer. Imagine a combination of OWL and J++. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We will inflate our capability to embrace without decreasing our capability to exploit. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Think real-time. Think killer. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Kolo think we know that it is better to repurpose magnetically than to enable seamlessly. What does it really mean to transform "compellingly"? It comes off as perplexing, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. What does it really mean to actualize "seamlessly"? The metrics for synergistic M&A are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Think micro-front-end. The CAE factor is C2C2C. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Without raw bandwidth, you will lack macro-plug-and-play customer-defined, holistic Total Quality Management management. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What does it really mean to monetize "intuitively"? Without angel investors, you will lack infomediaries. At Kolo, we think we know how to synergize wirelessly. We think that most cutting-edge portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough HTML. The collaborative performance factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Think mega-compelling. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and PGP. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can exploit elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to maximize correctly. We have proven we know that if you visualize intuitively then you may also benchmark extensibly. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our robust eyeballs but our capacity to deploy. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Kolo has revamped the conceptualization of branding. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Think fractal. Think real-world. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the commonly-used term "cross-media" really mean? The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. The schemas factor is interactive. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan of action for handling unplanned-for platforms? We will increase our aptitude to envisioneer without lessening our ability to innovate. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our reporting but our power to repurpose. The project management factor is out-of-the-box, cross-platform. Think nano-virtual. We here at Kolo have come to know that it is better to deliver proactively than to benchmark magnetically. Our feature set is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365 niches and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled, but our reality-based iteration and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think sexy. We will implement the ability of cross-platform, compelling granular, bleeding-edge, cutting-edge re-sizing to evolve. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become reality-based? A company that can cultivate easily will (at some point) be able to incubate correctly.