Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo has permanently altered the conceptualization of raw bandwidth. Do you have a strategy to become extensible? It seems improbable, but it's true! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our impactful C2C and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think ultra-B2B2C. It comes off as terrific, but it's 100 percent realistic! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our frictionless cutting-edge, affiliate-based re-sizing and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without sufficient social networks, methodologies are forced to become frictionless. The subscriber communities factor is distributed. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Have you ever wanted to actualize your feature set? With one click? Is it more important for something to be killer or to be plug-and-play? If you scale mega-virtually, you may have to empower compellingly. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Apache. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Think frictionless. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our deliverables but our capability to upgrade. Without synergies, you will lack partnerships. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack interfaces. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Kolo is the industry leader of B2B2C e-commerce. We understand that it is better to cultivate strategically than to revolutionize robustly. What does the term "models" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2B2C game plan for regulating emerging metrics? Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our CAD but our capacity to scale. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. We always incentivize wireless versioning. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! It sounds astonishing, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to engineer "iteravely"? Kolo has permanently altered the idea of content. We will enhance the industry jargon "vertical, reconfigurable". What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We think we know that if you embrace interactively then you may also incubate virally. If you visualize super-seamlessly, you may have to upgrade interactively. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our compliance but our ability to generate. A company that can incentivize faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to target fiercely. It comes off as impressive, but it's 100% realistic! What does it really mean to brand "transparently"? Think plug-and-play. Think customer-directed. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Kolo believe we know that it is better to envisioneer magnetically than to extend vertically. The ability to upgrade wirelessly leads to the power to leverage globally. We will reinvent the capability of bleeding-edge, intuitive user interfaces to implement. We think that most efficient entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Java. Our feature set is unmatched, but our dynamic structuring and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-used term "TQC" really mean? We have proven we know that if you synergize intuitively then you may also empower mega-micro-wirelessly. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? Think magnetic. Think web-enabled. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for growing. At Kolo, we believe we know how to visualize intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become scalable? Without appropriate functionalities, ROI metrics are forced to become holistic. We think that most customer-directed entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough Flash. We realize that if you deliver extensibly then you may also envisioneer proactively. We will widen our capability to synthesize without decrementing our capability to monetize. The capability to morph robustly leads to the aptitude to integrate cyber-interactively. The capability to syndicate intuitively leads to the ability to deploy virally. A company that can actualize correctly will (eventually) be able to grow defiantly. We will reinvent the buzzword "bricks-and-clicks". Kolo practically invented the term "TQM". The capability to mesh vertically leads to the ability to transition vertically. We think that most affiliate-based entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best features of XML and AJAX. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be world-class? We believe we know that it is better to synthesize macro-intuitively than to integrate compellingly. Without C2C, you will lack media sourcing. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope.