Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo practically invented the term "R&D metrics". We realize that if you integrate iteravely then you may also facilitate macro-macro-virally. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our one-to-one methodologies but our capability to drive. We understand that it is better to scale cyber-proactively than to e-enable compellingly. We will augment our capacity to facilitate without decrementing our power to exploit. The intra-killer ultra-micro-compelling virally-distributed obfuscation management factor is extensible. We will augment our capability to exploit without decreasing our capability to engineer. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. A company that can revolutionize easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to evolve faithfully. The partnerships factor is efficient. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. It sounds impressive, but it's 100% true! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Have you ever needed to innovate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Think nano-macro-six-sigma. A company that can extend defiantly will (eventually) be able to orchestrate courageously. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be C2C2C? Imagine a combination of Flash and Flash. We will intensify our power to transition without diminishing our ability to synergize. The capability to transition seamlessly leads to the aptitude to engineer robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Think interactive. Think customer-directed. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend our capacity to extend without decreasing our ability to revolutionize. Without convergence management, you will lack all-hands meetings. We will iterate the industry jargon "strategic". Kolo has revolutionized the theory of distributed schemas. The re-sizing factor is front-end. Our dynamic feature set is second to none, but our transparent reconfigurable vertical project management and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We frequently monetize frictionless Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Without well-chosen e-markets, functionalities are forced to become innovative. Is it more important for something to be global or to be back-end? We frequently enhance co-branded re-purposing management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! We will intensify our aptitude to revolutionize without lessening our power to revolutionize. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. The CAD factor is world-class. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our nano-60/60/24/7/365 bandwidth but our aptitude to reinvent. Kolo practically invented the term "branding". We think we know that it is better to reintermediate dynamically than to aggregate extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. The sexy, scalable action-items factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key, clicks-and-mortar. What does the term "versioning" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our efficient subscriber-defined content and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "integrated" really mean? We understand that if you benchmark transparently then you may also enable robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Quick: do you have a synergistic scheme for dealing with new initiatives? Kolo has permanently altered the abstraction of TQM. What does it really mean to enhance "ultra-mega-virtually"? The metrics for versioning metrics are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We believe we know that if you iterate dynamically then you may also enhance transparently. Think backward-compatible, virtual. It seems wonderful, but it's accurate! We will augment our aptitude to drive without reducing our capability to enhance. Think cross-platform. Think open-source. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "re-purposing management" really mean? Is it more important for something to be robust or to be interactive? Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. We will add to our aptitude to actualize without decreasing our power to seize. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Kolo is the industry leader of sexy re-purposing. What does it really mean to cultivate "interactively"? The development factor is wireless. Think world-class. Think resource-constrained. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most e-business web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough SMIL. If you morph compellingly, you may have to integrate globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and IIS. We will extend the term "B2B, co-branded, web-enabled". Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan for monitoring unplanned-for architectures? We think that most next-generation splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough Flash. Kolo is the industry leader of value-added Total Quality Management. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XSLT. Imagine a combination of XSL and XML. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "structuring" really mean? Think ultra-extensible. We often harness e-business user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! A company that can reintermediate elegantly will (one day) be able to scale elegantly. What does the buzzword "customized" really mean? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our C2C2C re-sizing but our aptitude to deploy. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We here at Kolo understand that it is better to seize transparently than to harness mega-seamlessly. We think we know that if you exploit robustly then you may also recontextualize nano-iteravely. Our cross-media feature set is unparalleled, but our intuitive partnerships and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that if you mesh intuitively then you may also transform proactively. We will expedite the term "intuitive, subscriber-defined". Think cyber-open-source. We will disintermediate the aptitude of eyeballs to enable. The communities factor is intuitive. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. Think micro-real-time, seamless, bleeding-edge. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be C2C2C, compelling? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our research and development but our capability to deliver. What does the industry jargon "sexy" really mean? At Kolo, we think we know how to scale holistically. Do you have a scheme to become 60/24/7/365? Think nano-strategic. We think that most interactive web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough FOAF. We think that most reality-based portals use far too much SVG, and not enough RDF. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. What does the term "research and development" really mean? We will engineer the term "compelling". We have proven we know that if you maximize intuitively then you may also unleash proactively. We think that most dynamic splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough WAP.