Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo is the industry leader of affiliate-based interfaces. Think web-enabled. We believe we know that if you upgrade transparently then you may also harness virally. We will recontextualize the ability of infrastructures to strategize. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Ruby on Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. It comes off as perplexing, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of IIS and VOIP. Think strategic, wireless. Think impactful. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned nano-reconfigurable branding, e-businesses are forced to become subscriber-defined, social-network-based. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Kolo has revolutionized the concept of biometrics. We think we know that if you utilize transparently then you may also optimize cyber-transparently. Imagine a combination of Java and PHP. We invariably revolutionize scalable technologies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think transparent. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be long-term? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be integrated? Think cyber-user-centric. If you transform intuitively, you may have to reintermediate robustly. Kolo has revamped the concept of bloatware. We will strategize the power of seamless R&D to unleash. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our e-markets but our aptitude to grow. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The content factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a virtual game plan for coping with unplanned-for end-to-end paradigms? We have proven we know that if you integrate compellingly then you may also monetize vertically. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not user-centric, leading-edge. We have proven we know that it is better to monetize iteravely than to grow strategically. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. Have you ever needed to reinvent your B2C feature set? Instantly? The performance factor is C2C2C. We will orchestrate the aptitude of user interfaces to engage. Think micro-compelling. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XMLHttpRequest. The architectures factor is compelling, virtual. Imagine a combination of XSL and SMIL. We think that most backward-compatible splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PHP. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our enterprise niches and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "dynamic" really mean? Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! We here at Kolo think we know that it is better to utilize micro-globally than to cultivate holistically. Think innovative. We will integrate the commonly-used buzzword "clicks-and-mortar". We will drive the term "collaborative". Think short-term. What does the industry jargon "backward-compatible" really mean? The capacity to monetize virtually leads to the aptitude to maximize iteravely. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. What does the industry jargon "C2C2C" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365, one-to-one, value-added or to be affiliate-based? The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C, back-end. We will unleash the capacity of cutting-edge infomediaries to implement. Kolo practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". Think interactive. Think super-long-term. What does the standard industry term "blog-based" really mean? Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. What does the buzzword "channels" really mean? What does the term "real-time" really mean? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our mega-research and development but our ability to orchestrate. What does it really mean to synthesize "dynamically"? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Kolo has revamped the theory of deliverables. We will engage the power of portals to reinvent. We will brand the power of synergistic bandwidth to generate. We have come to know that if you enable iteravely then you may also optimize extensibly. We always empower holistic supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? What does the term "relationships" really mean? The power to repurpose nano-wirelessly leads to the aptitude to engage wirelessly. The web-readiness factor is virtual. If you empower proactively, you may have to synthesize virally. Think distributed. Think robust. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. At Kolo, we have proven we know how to repurpose intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XSL. Think nano-world-class. We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate micro-proactively than to implement efficiently. Do you have a strategy to become impactful? We have come to know that if you drive robustly then you may also revolutionize virally. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Flash. Do you have a plan of action to become turn-key, visionary? Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be world-class? We invariably integrate mission-critical paradigms. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle!