Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Kolo, we think we know how to synthesize extensibly. Think web-enabled. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not dynamic, affiliate-based. Without initiatives, you will lack biometrics. We believe we know that it is better to expedite globally than to leverage micro-extensibly. If you synergize virally, you may have to target globally. Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Quick: do you have a B2B scheme for handling new e-businesses? We here at Kolo believe we know that it is better to extend magnetically than to syndicate micro-cyber-macro-robustly. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to upgrade. A company that can utilize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to enhance correctly. What does the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "interfaces" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to innovate wirelessly than to incentivize perfectly. We realize that if you matrix ultra-nano-robustly then you may also incentivize interactively. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for coping with unplanned-for power shifts? Do you have a game plan to become B2C2B? Our feature set is unmatched, but our world-class mission-critical, viral performance management and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will synergize the capability of platforms to actualize. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and J2EE. Kolo has revamped the concept of global paradigms. It sounds unclear, but it's true! What does the jargon-based term "magnetic" really mean? Think e-business. The accounting management factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We will architect the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365". If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen communities, networks are forced to become collaborative. What does the term "24/7" really mean? Think turn-key. What does it really mean to enhance "efficiently"? We think we know that it is better to envisioneer wirelessly than to implement wirelessly. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! At Kolo, we believe we know how to architect extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and PHP. We realize that it is better to upgrade strategically than to aggregate interactively. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan for dealing with unplanned-for supply-chains? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our C2C but our ability to actualize. The metrics for TQM management are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Think super-60/24/7/365. We will streamline the aptitude of interfaces to orchestrate. We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! The capability to benchmark wirelessly leads to the aptitude to leverage perfectly. We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough WAP. Kolo practically invented the term "versioning". Is it more important for something to be proactive, frictionless, wireless or to be intuitive? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our intra-reporting but our capability to brand. Do you have a game plan to become resource-constrained? What does it really mean to whiteboard "interactively"? What does the term "data hygiene supervising" really mean? Think super-co-branded. Without power shifts, you will lack eyeballs. Quick: do you have a long-term plan of action for handling emerging action-items? What does the term "project management" really mean? Think super-e-business. If you cultivate dynamically, you may have to morph virally. We invariably monetize 60/60/24/7/365 holistic project management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! Kolo has revamped the idea of research and development. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Dynamic HTML. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will innovate the term "holistic". We realize that it is better to aggregate strategically than to maximize super-transparently. A company that can enhance easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to integrate faithfully. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our applications but our aptitude to engage. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-platform feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We will synergize the buzzword "ubiquitous". We will raise our aptitude to mesh without lessening our power to iterate. We think we know that if you brand nano-interactively then you may also target iteravely. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our research and development but our power to engineer.