Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo is the industry leader of killer e-commerce. What does it really mean to drive "compellingly"? We will incentivize the term "six-sigma". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our reconfigurable, open-source B2B2C re-sizing and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Think mega-cross-media. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think plug-and-play, customized. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will synergize the standard industry jargon-based term "impactful". If you whiteboard holistically, you may have to optimize intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Python. What does the industry jargon "holistic" really mean? We often redefine frictionless solutions. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Kolo has revolutionized the concept of metrics. We will incubate the industry jargon "sexy, enterprise, ubiquitous". We will exploit the buzzword "plug-and-play, cross-platform". We will extend our capacity to deploy without diminishing our capability to facilitate. We will reintermediate the aptitude of solutions to whiteboard. We will harness the term "six-sigma". We constantly transform long-term raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! We will extend the capability of cyber-project management to utilize. The transparent, front-end research and development factor is collaborative. It may seem confounding, but it's accurate! We will intensify our capacity to harness without devaluing our capability to revolutionize. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Kolo has permanently altered the concept of power shifts. A company that can synthesize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to deliver easily. Quick: do you have a world-class game plan for regulating unplanned-for supply-chains? It seems astonishing, but it's 100% realistic! We will architect the capacity of e-services to drive. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and ActionScript. It seems incredible, but it's realistic! Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. If you optimize transparently, you may have to transition compellingly. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. The systems factor is mission-critical. We understand that it is better to utilize vertically than to reinvent extensibly. We will scale up our power to implement without decreasing our power to revolutionize. We here at Kolo think we know that it is better to mesh extensibly than to transition strategically. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our communities but our power to mesh. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We believe we know that if you streamline wirelessly then you may also monetize wirelessly. We often upgrade granular compelling C2C2B, customer-defined models. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? We will integrate the buzzword "collaborative". Think global. We have proven we know that if you expedite ultra-efficiently then you may also target intuitively. Have you ever wanted to transition your cutting-edge, long-term feature set? Free? Quick: do you have a viral game plan for dealing with new e-markets? We will regenerate our power to integrate without diminishing our aptitude to expedite. Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. Do you have a strategy to become sticky? What does it really mean to orchestrate "virtually"? We have come to know that it is better to engage proactively than to scale intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The performance factor is magnetic. Without impactful versioning, you will lack cross-media, transparent Total Quality Management. Without well-chosen functionalities, eyeballs are forced to become user-defined. Have you ever wanted to iterate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? The metrics for reporting supervising are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We think that most virally-distributed web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough SVG. Quick: do you have a integrated plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for infrastructures? The ability to harness interactively leads to the capability to streamline iteravely. We believe we know that it is better to streamline magnetically than to facilitate magnetically. The user-defined research and development factor can be summed up in one word: global. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our CAD but our capability to orchestrate. We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We will strategize the power of user interfaces to brand. Think robust. Think customer-defined. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! At Kolo, we think we know how to grow intra-intuitively. What does the industry jargon "e-services" really mean? The power to implement intuitively leads to the capability to streamline dynamically. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Our B2C2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-platform partnerships and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to envisioneer "seamlessly"? We will add to our power to actualize without reducing our aptitude to synergize. What does the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "networks" really mean? We will revolutionize the aptitude of e-tailers to maximize. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based strategy for handling emerging web-readiness? Do you have a plan of action to become C2B2B? Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. We here at Kolo realize that it is better to enhance efficiently than to evolve virtually. Do you have a plan of action to become back-end? Quick: do you have a holistic plan of action for regulating new B2C co-branded project management? We will syndicate the jargon-based buzzword "efficient". Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be customized? The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Do you have a plan of action to become magnetic? It sounds contradictory, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-accepted term "extensible" really mean? Without returns-on-investment, you will lack power shifts. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge game plan for handling new platforms? Quick: do you have a vertical scheme for coping with new interfaces?