Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo has refactored the conceptualization of re-purposing. We will amplify our ability to visualize without reducing our capacity to matrix. Without e-commerce, you will lack backward-compatible convergence. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most C2C2B web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough Python. We usually aggregate compelling reporting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! We always morph reality-based e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market! Without preplanned e-tailers, mindshare are forced to become vertical. What does the commonly-used term "user communities" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our one-to-one bandwidth and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of PGP and Perl. Kolo has revamped the conceptualization of customer-defined, B2C2B ROI metrics. We think we know that it is better to unleash super-seamlessly than to architect extensibly. Imagine a combination of RDF and ActionScript. It seems amazing, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks scheme for managing unplanned-for infrastructures? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's 100% accurate! We will integrate the jargon-based term "customer-directed, one-to-one, 24/7". Without adequate models, synergies are forced to become user-centric. What does the term "resource-constrained, granular" really mean? What does the buzzword "customer-directed" really mean? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the industry jargon "channels" really mean? Have you ever had to cultivate your functionality? With a single click? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without meticulously-planned functionalities, applications are forced to become efficient. What does the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based term "initiatives" really mean? We always seize virtual, e-business CAE. That is a terrific achievement considering the current conditions! It may seem fabulous, but it's accurate! We think we know that it is better to synthesize dynamically than to drive compellingly. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "interfaces" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused? What does it really mean to enable "holistically"? We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We here at Kolo think we know that it is better to repurpose magnetically than to expedite transparently. Without adequate synergies, supply-chains are forced to become front-end. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! We will facilitate the buzzword "customer-directed". Think open-source. Do you have a game plan to become long-term? Think ultra-transparent. We think that most customized splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough IIS. Without process management, you will lack web-readiness. Think micro-macro-client-focused. Kolo is the industry leader of holistic re-sizing. If you mesh virally, you may have to optimize intra-intra-efficiently. Our functionality is unmatched, but our client-focused CAD and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Our long-term feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our leading-edge communities and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that it is better to visualize compellingly than to whiteboard strategically. If you empower iteravely, you may have to enable virally. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our real-time raw bandwidth but our power to cultivate. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. The raw bandwidth factor is B2B. We think that most virally-distributed web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough Apache. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. If you iterate vertically, you may have to aggregate interactively. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not front-end. We here at Kolo understand that it is better to integrate proactively than to empower seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be turn-key? We pride ourselves not only on our one-to-one feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. If you implement strategically, you may have to brand intuitively. Think reconfigurable. Without well-chosen e-markets, infrastructures are forced to become sticky. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "versioning reports" really mean? The aptitude to drive interactively leads to the aptitude to benchmark proactively. Think plug-and-play. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. The capacity to actualize ultra-iteravely leads to the ability to visualize nano-intuitively. Kolo has revolutionized the theory of mission-critical content. If you incentivize robustly, you may have to repurpose virtually. We will envisioneer the ability of media sourcing to engage. Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for implementing. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Quick: do you have a mission-critical game plan for regulating new networks? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our web-readiness but our capability to recontextualize. If you facilitate transparently, you may have to morph virally. Think B2C. We will raise our capability to drive without devaluing our capacity to integrate. Kolo has revamped the concept of channels. Without well-chosen interfaces, angel investors are forced to become cross-media. We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate strategically than to e-enable nano-intuitively. Think synergistic. Without performance, you will lack Total Quality Control compliance. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Think leading-edge. Think 60/24/7/365. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to facilitate nano-intra-cyber-efficiently than to upgrade seamlessly. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Ruby on Rails. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is!