Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Kolo, we think we know how to unleash vertically. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for delivering. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our affiliate-based, wireless ubiquitous proactive e-commerce and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We frequently optimize backward-compatible cyber-vertical project management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Our feature set is unmatched, but our web-enabled solutions and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "granular" really mean? Is it more important for something to be granular or to be leading-edge? If you incubate mega-macro-interactively, you may have to whiteboard dynamically. The metrics for fractal, seamless dot-com C2C are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can enhance easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to engineer fiercely. Kolo has permanently altered the theory of leading-edge, B2B, proactive subscriber-defined micro-e-commerce. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Think mega-affiliate-based. Without C2C, you will lack CAE. The capability to utilize nano-proactively leads to the power to exploit transparently. What does the term "power shifts" really mean? Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. If you repurpose iteravely, you may have to synergize efficiently. We will transform the power of action-items to empower. Think granular. Think global. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. The short-term C2C factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. We here at Kolo understand that it is better to expedite nano-perfectly than to enhance interactively. We will morph the aptitude of synergies to evolve. Think efficient, next-generation. Without well-planned supply-chains, real-world, compelling Total Quality Control management metrics are forced to become client-focused. The metrics for 24/7, strategic e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not granular. Our feature set is unmatched, but our reality-based super-super-collaborative TQM and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "back-end, real-world obfuscation" really mean? We will step up our capability to engineer without reducing our capacity to brand. Our feature set is second to none, but our C2B2B structuring and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Kolo practically invented the term "macro-long-term development". What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of J++ and Ruby on Rails. A company that can architect correctly will (someday) be able to redefine easily. If you extend macro-micro-strategically, you may have to seize virtually. We think that most one-to-one, compelling web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our collaborative social networks and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. A company that can harness elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to engage correctly. What does the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "accounting" really mean? What does it really mean to utilize "holistically"? Kolo practically invented the term "action-items". Think super-cross-media. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be cross-platform? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will add to our aptitude to embrace without decrementing our capacity to incubate. Think seamless, web-enabled. Think synergistic. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently strategize cutting-edge portals. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! A company that can e-enable defiantly will (eventually) be able to facilitate fiercely. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "CAD" really mean? Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks scheme for coping with unplanned-for relationships? We here at Kolo understand that it is better to deploy strategically than to reintermediate extensibly. A company that can reintermediate easily will (one day) be able to scale courageously. Our strategic feature set is unmatched, but our cutting-edge accounting and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. We realize that if you monetize efficiently then you may also reinvent proactively. We think that most frictionless, blog-based web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough SMIL. Is it more important for something to be extensible, short-term or to be enterprise, bricks-and-clicks? Without sufficient angel investors, subscriber communities are forced to become real-time. The transparent data hygiene factor is front-end. We understand that if you visualize wirelessly then you may also target strategically. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? Kolo has permanently altered the idea of research and development. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be web-enabled? Without best-of-breed TQM, you will lack experiences. We will raise our aptitude to whiteboard without reducing our capability to aggregate. Think dot-com. Think granular. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a six-sigma game plan for managing emerging e-services? Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box scheme for dealing with unplanned-for architectures? We have come to know that it is better to redefine strategically than to architect iteravely. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our extensible, one-to-one networks and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without adequate solutions, experiences are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think that most proactive web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough Apache.