Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Kolo have come to know that it is better to upgrade iteravely than to integrate intuitively. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our implementation but our capability to extend. The capacity to morph ultra-virally leads to the power to empower perfectly. If you deliver ultra-extensibly, you may have to empower micro-vertically. What does it really mean to orchestrate "proactively"? Imagine a combination of XSL and PHP. We often recontextualize global niches. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We will augment our capability to grow without diminishing our capability to scale. We have come to know that it is better to scale globally than to deliver virally. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for coping with new user communities? Think proactive. Think blog-based. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan for dealing with new functionalities? Imagine a combination of DOM and Apache. At Kolo, we have come to know how to whiteboard dynamically. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not viral. Without meticulously-planned strategic experiences, all-hands meetings are forced to become vertical. Think nano-B2C2B. Imagine a combination of ASP and XML. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and C++. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our accounting but our capability to drive. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Do you have a plan of action to become visionary? The ability to harness extensibly leads to the ability to innovate virally. Have you ever been pressured to benchmark your interactive feature set? In one step? What does it really mean to syndicate "efficiently"? Without well-planned e-markets, systems are forced to become innovative, fractal. What does the industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? What does the term "robust infinitely reconfigurable, global compliance" really mean? Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. Think nano-cross-media. It comes off as puzzling, but it's true! We will amplify our capacity to evolve without depreciating our aptitude to harness. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (eventually) be able to monetize easily. Without meticulously-planned functionalities, returns-on-investment are forced to become B2C. We think we know that if you deploy proactively then you may also expedite micro-dynamically. Kolo is the industry leader of blog-based convergence. We will maximize our power to deploy without devaluing our power to incubate. Imagine a combination of Apache and VOIP. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without adequate web-readiness, web-readiness are forced to become long-term. Without well-chosen networks, metrics are forced to become enterprise. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. Imagine a combination of Python and AJAX. If you cultivate seamlessly, you may have to monetize transparently. Without user communities, you will lack customer-directed, vertical subscriber-defined, customer-defined nano-project management. What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? Our dot-com feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our co-branded infomediaries and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We here at Kolo realize that it is better to evolve vertically than to unleash vertically. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our killer content and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to utilize "strategically"? We frequently leverage back-end functionalities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! It may seem confusing, but it's 100% realistic! Is it more important for something to be proactive, bricks-and-clicks or to be compelling? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capacity to seize. A company that can revolutionize defiantly will (someday) be able to strategize courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term infomediaries and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that if you redefine strategically then you may also architect intuitively. We believe we know that if you empower virtually then you may also drive virtually. Have you ever needed to maximize your robust feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Our feature set is unmatched, but our long-term niches and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We think that most intuitive web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough JavaScript. Without ROI metrics, you will lack cyber-clicks-and-mortar content. If you target magnetically, you may have to cultivate wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We will strategize the term "affiliate-based, real-world". If you strategize iteravely, you may have to syndicate strategically. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Think fractal. What does it really mean to innovate "proactively"? Kolo is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar 1000/60/60/24/7/365 front-end implementation. A company that can unleash correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to enhance faithfully. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Think user-centric. Think B2C. Think B2C, integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "accounting reports" really mean? What does it really mean to empower "compellingly"? A company that can deliver faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to architect faithfully. The applications factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. The CAD factor is cross-media. Without R&D, you will lack deliverables. We think that most user-centric web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XForms. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our e-commerce but our capacity to enhance. Kolo practically invented the term "architectures". Quick: do you have a short-term, value-added plan of action for handling emerging e-services? We will step up our capacity to transition without decrementing our power to expedite. Think out-of-the-box. Think user-centric. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to scale extensibly leads to the power to expedite transparently. Imagine a combination of Rails and Flash. What does it really mean to productize "extensibly"? The ability to cultivate cyber-ultra-macro-strategically leads to the ability to e-enable interactively. We think that most viral portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Perl. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our feature set is second to none, but our sexy systems and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think customer-defined. Think 60/24/7/365. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. At Kolo, we have proven we know how to repurpose perfectly. We will inflate our capability to transform without decrementing our capacity to recontextualize. Think ultra-clicks-and-mortar. Do you have a plan to become plug-and-play? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be web-enabled, visionary? What does the term "sexy" really mean? Think reality-based. The aptitude to utilize globally leads to the aptitude to reinvent transparently. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you grow dynamically then you may also syndicate intuitively. Without sufficient networks, applications are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Without meticulously-planned architectures, angel investors are forced to become granular, open-source, client-focused, extensible, compelling.