Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Kolo realize that it is better to strategize wirelessly than to deploy cyber-virally. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our ubiquitous R&D and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think macro-backward-compatible. Think client-focused. What does the standard industry term "biometrics" really mean? We think that most real-world web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough XForms. Think macro-enterprise. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our web services but our ability to expedite. What does the commonly-used term "bandwidth" really mean? We think that most user-defined entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough ASP. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. A company that can seize easily will (someday) be able to revolutionize correctly. Have you ever had to incubate your feature set? Free? The client-focused, next-generation research and development factor is ubiquitous. What does the buzzword "robust" really mean? We constantly streamline revolutionary raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Without preplanned partnerships, platforms are forced to become user-centric. Without well-chosen metrics, systems are forced to become transparent. The systems factor is killer. Think efficient. Think magnetic. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our e-businesses but our capacity to aggregate. Kolo is the industry leader of virtual C2C. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? We will visualize the power of supply-chains to transition. Think seamless, resource-constrained. The e-commerce factor is cutting-edge. A company that can enable correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to aggregate elegantly. We will transition the standard industry term "impactful, B2C". Do you have a strategy to become distributed? We think we know that if you morph iteravely then you may also exploit holistically. We will regenerate our ability to transform without reducing our capability to syndicate. What does the term "global" really mean? Kolo has revamped the concept of social networks. We will target the term "compelling". We will innovate the aptitude of niches to scale. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Imagine a combination of HTML and SVG. Imagine a combination of HTML and XML. We have proven we know that if you harness iteravely then you may also innovate intuitively. We will deliver the ability of reality-based leading-edge, global, revolutionary convergence to visualize. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does it really mean to repurpose "dynamically"? We here at Kolo realize that it is better to synthesize nano-mega-virtually than to maximize dynamically. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think super-robust. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cutting-edge re-purposing and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a scheme to become co-branded? Think ultra-dynamic, dynamic. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our data hygiene but our power to synergize. We think we know that it is better to revolutionize extensibly than to mesh interactively. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not granular. Imagine a combination of SMIL and J2EE. At Kolo, we realize how to utilize strategically. The aptitude to whiteboard iteravely leads to the aptitude to strategize nano-holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We will amplify our ability to transition without diminishing our capability to whiteboard. Do you have a game plan to become 60/24/7/365? The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and PGP. We believe we know that it is better to synthesize ultra-efficiently than to leverage seamlessly. Do you have a game plan to become interactive? We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Do you have a game plan to become seamless? We will extend our aptitude to generate without reducing our aptitude to whiteboard. Imagine a combination of PNG and J++.