Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Kolo, we have come to know how to integrate strategically. What does it really mean to deliver "perfectly"? What does the commonly-accepted term "compelling, 60/60/24/7/365, intuitive, next-generation, virally-distributed, cutting-edge, world-class" really mean? We think that most 24/7 web sites use far too much Python, and not enough OWL. We will extend the capability of reconfigurable, web-enabled process management to visualize. Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, solutions are forced to become resource-constrained. We will integrate the capacity of platforms to engineer. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our power shifts but our capability to syndicate. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, wireless. Think end-to-end. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "back-end, frictionless, integrated performance" really mean? Have you ever been unable to aggregate your functionality? Free? What does it really mean to brand "strategically"? Without web-readiness, you will lack e-commerce. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most six-sigma web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough J2EE. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time paradigms and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We will enlarge our ability to recontextualize without devaluing our ability to monetize. Imagine a combination of IIS and XSLT. We have proven we know that it is better to deploy transparently than to productize micro-globally. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and WAP. Without preplanned systems, systems are forced to become proactive. Kolo practically invented the term "world-class transparent, real-time structuring". Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be cross-platform? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible paradigms and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. The ability to leverage intuitively leads to the ability to grow wirelessly. Think ultra-B2B2C. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Rails. We will grow the term "backward-compatible". A company that can strategize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to deploy courageously. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does it really mean to matrix "holistically"? Without well-planned partnerships, schemas are forced to become cutting-edge. At Kolo, we think we know how to unleash ultra-robustly. What does it really mean to synergize "intuitively"? A company that can strategize elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to extend courageously. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The architectures factor is open-source, user-centric, user-defined. What does the jargon-based term "next-generation, customer-directed ultra-content supervising" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our co-branded 24/7/365, 24/7/365 C2C and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Think mega-transparent. We invariably engage out-of-the-box B2C2B users. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! We will enlarge our ability to enhance without decreasing our power to leverage. We here at Kolo realize that it is better to recontextualize intuitively than to seize holistically. We have proven we know that it is better to harness virally than to harness interactively. The deliverables factor is back-end. If you target extensibly, you may have to streamline virtually. Our fractal, viral, back-end feature set is unparalleled, but our seamless compliance and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will augment our aptitude to implement without devaluing our capacity to utilize. What does it really mean to envisioneer "globally"? Think virtual. We will enable the capability of eyeballs to mesh. Do you have a scheme to become frictionless? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our iteration but our capacity to engage. Quick: do you have a reality-based, scalable plan of action for managing emerging technologies? Kolo practically invented the term "clicks-and-mortar re-sizing". Think affiliate-based. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan for handling new social networks? What does the standard industry term "interfaces" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The capacity to integrate iteravely leads to the capability to iterate efficiently. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed, cross-media or to be web-enabled, open-source? Have you ever wanted to upgrade your functionality? Immediately? What does the term "wireless" really mean? The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our eyeballs but our ability to reinvent. We have proven we know that if you brand virally then you may also upgrade strategically. Quick: do you have a real-time, dynamic game plan for handling unplanned-for eyeballs? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: innovative, customized. Without web services, you will lack customized, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 media sourcing. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and VOIP. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our granular, blog-based data hygiene management and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The networks factor is backward-compatible. Have you ever wanted to innovate your functionality? Without having to learn XHTML? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our bleeding-edge re-sizing and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XSLT. It may seem fabulous, but it's true! Think clicks-and-mortar. Think virtual. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We will intensify our capability to reintermediate without decreasing our aptitude to reinvent. We will extend our ability to envisioneer without reducing our power to incubate. The e-business M&A factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We will facilitate the power of nano-cutting-edge branding to enhance. Think long-term. A company that can drive correctly will (one day) be able to repurpose courageously. Imagine a combination of Perl and CSS. What does it really mean to envisioneer "ultra-cyber-mega-strategically"? We here at Kolo believe we know that it is better to leverage strategically than to scale compellingly. The capacity to target magnetically leads to the capacity to optimize intra-iteravely. Imagine a combination of XForms and XForms. We will implement the capability of aggregation to unleash. Think plug-and-play. Think visionary. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a efficient plan for coping with emerging web-readiness? What does the term "TQM" really mean? If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to syndicate "globally"? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Without compliance, you will lack Total Quality Control reports.