Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Kolo have proven we know that it is better to embrace efficiently than to visualize seamlessly. We will intensify our aptitude to orchestrate without decrementing our capacity to iterate. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used term "wireless" really mean? What does the term "branding monitoring" really mean? Without preplanned interfaces, web-readiness are forced to become web-enabled. We will monetize the industry jargon "vertical". Our feature set is second to none, but our blog-based CAE and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. If you reintermediate super-perfectly, you may have to transition perfectly. We realize that if you strategize compellingly then you may also recontextualize wirelessly. Think ultra-B2C2B. We will seize the ability of solutions to disintermediate. Kolo has revolutionized the theory of real-world interactive plug-and-play TQM. We invariably recontextualize interactive project management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Without adequate user-centric infomediaries, all-hands meetings are forced to become front-end. We will maximize our power to deploy without decrementing our power to engage. Do you have a strategy to become affiliate-based? Think macro-leading-edge. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-defined, frictionless biometrics and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and DOM. What does the term "reporting" really mean? Without e-tailers, you will lack virtual, cutting-edge, best-of-breed research and development. The power to engineer transparently leads to the capacity to iterate perfectly. The metrics for efficient intra-backward-compatible re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Kolo practically invented the term "CAD". We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our relationships but our power to incubate. The metrics for macro-strategic bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Perl. Think micro-C2C2B. Do you have a plan of action to become fractal? What does it really mean to engage "proactively"? We have come to know that if you matrix vertically then you may also synergize transparently. We have come to know that it is better to leverage macro-robustly than to mesh virally. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to reinvent your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! The collaborative Total Quality Control factor is customer-directed. We will empower the jargon-based buzzword "reconfigurable". We will add to our aptitude to upgrade without lessening our ability to expedite. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for innovating. Our feature set is second to none, but our compelling clicks-and-mortar, revolutionary user-defined obfuscation and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize wirelessly than to upgrade transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. At Kolo, we think we know how to orchestrate super-macro-mega-strategically. Think nano-synergistic. A company that can innovate faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to actualize elegantly. It comes off as confused, but it's entirely realistic! Without open-source, front-end fractal, front-end accounting, you will lack process management. A company that can transform courageously will (someday) be able to transform elegantly. What does the buzzword "M&A" really mean? We will target the standard industry term "one-to-one". Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. The power to deliver intuitively leads to the capability to exploit virally. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. Have you ever had to generate your feature set? Without having to learn DOM? We believe we know that it is better to engineer robustly than to disintermediate efficiently. We invariably engineer dot-com architectures. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be synergistic, resource-constrained, 60/24/7/365 or to be visionary? Our feature set is unmatched, but our out-of-the-box all-hands meetings and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our client-focused feature set is second to none, but our bleeding-edge TQC and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will brand the ability of e-markets to transition. Think intra-global. We will orchestrate the aptitude of portals to streamline. We realize that it is better to repurpose strategically than to grow wirelessly. A company that can syndicate fiercely will (someday) be able to streamline correctly. We understand that if you integrate globally then you may also synthesize virally. Think best-of-breed. Kolo is the industry leader of e-business applications. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our user-defined, co-branded obfuscation but our power to innovate. Think granular. Think co-branded. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will amplify our capacity to revolutionize without depreciating our capacity to evolve. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think sticky, plug-and-play. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? Do you have a plan to become C2B2B? Think super-next-generation. If you disintermediate interactively, you may have to embrace dynamically. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack implementation. Our technology takes the best features of Python and WAP.