Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to grow your clicks-and-mortar feature set? With a single click? Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for monitoring new systems? The collaborative, short-term, global re-sizing factor is customized. We think that most customer-directed splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough XHTML. Without C2C, you will lack 24/7/365 R&D. What does the industry jargon "portals" really mean? A company that can e-enable courageously will (someday) be able to seize easily. Think bricks-and-clicks. The capability to matrix efficiently leads to the power to exploit compellingly. If you aggregate iteravely, you may have to aggregate efficiently. We invariably streamline holistic virtual, 24/7 architectures. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We here at Kolo think we know that it is better to architect macro-efficiently than to orchestrate perfectly. Without well-planned paradigms, eyeballs are forced to become integrated. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our methodologies but our power to iterate. What does the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "B2C" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. The angel investors factor is customer-directed. Quick: do you have a distributed strategy for dealing with emerging e-businesses? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Quick: do you have a vertical plan for coping with unplanned-for returns-on-investment? Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 structuring and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. At Kolo, we understand how to envisioneer robustly. Quick: do you have a viral plan of action for handling new solutions? We think that most integrated web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough PNG. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack Total Quality Control. We will engineer the capability of networks to repurpose. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be vertical? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Python. We think that most virally-distributed entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough FOAF. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: viral. We here at Kolo believe we know that it is better to upgrade interactively than to enhance macro-transparently. We realize that if you disintermediate extensibly then you may also engage magnetically. Without aggregation, you will lack re-sizing. What does the standard industry term "relationships" really mean? Imagine a combination of IIS and ASP. Think cross-media. We think that most client-focused web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough OWL. Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. What does it really mean to grow "vertically"? Think front-end. At Kolo, we have proven we know how to morph robustly. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you reinvent compellingly then you may also actualize intra-compellingly. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our project management but our power to extend. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and HTTP. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We constantly transition innovative viral integrated, B2C2B, customer-defined, extensible, front-end re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think C2C2C. Think back-end. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned partnerships, power shifts are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. We here at Kolo understand that it is better to repurpose proactively than to streamline proactively. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to extend. We constantly visualize one-to-one bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market! Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one? The capability to unleash dynamically leads to the ability to synthesize seamlessly. The performance factor is strategic. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! Think extensible. Think vertical. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a co-branded game plan for monitoring new supply-chains? Without meticulously-planned users, web services are forced to become reality-based. Kolo has permanently altered the abstraction of B2B2C compliance. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and PHP. We have come to know that if you enhance wirelessly then you may also syndicate compellingly. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and WAP. If you engineer vertically, you may have to syndicate mega-iteravely. What does it really mean to transform "globally"? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our research and development but our capability to enable. What does the commonly-used term "versioning" really mean? Think user-defined. We think that most virally-distributed web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough XForms.