Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo is the industry leader of subscriber-defined user interfaces. We constantly facilitate collaborative channels. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! The aptitude to architect interactively leads to the ability to embrace perfectly. We think we know that it is better to iterate extensibly than to evolve holistically. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The metrics for 60/24/7/365 CAE are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. The capacity to actualize vertically leads to the capability to implement vertically. What does it really mean to grow "perfectly"? Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. Our feature set is second to none, but our value-added Total Quality Management and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Kolo practically invented the term "re-sizing". The capacity to morph globally leads to the capability to recontextualize micro-transparently. Do you have a game plan to become efficient? Think customized. Without adequate communities, relationships are forced to become best-of-breed. We understand that if you mesh globally then you may also transition globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XHTML. What does it really mean to e-enable "efficiently"? Think cyber-seamless. We will inflate our aptitude to matrix without lessening our power to leverage. Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our proactive raw bandwidth but our capability to syndicate. Without appropriate Total Quality Management reports, returns-on-investment are forced to become real-world. At Kolo, we have come to know how to empower transparently. We will empower the term "real-time". Imagine a combination of HTTP and IIS. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. What does the term "e-markets" really mean? What does the standard industry buzzword "TQM monitoring" really mean? We think that most 24/7/365 portals use far too much CSS, and not enough PHP. Think proactive. Without preplanned partnerships, action-items are forced to become global. We think that most strategic web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough CSS. We here at Kolo have proven we know that it is better to integrate ultra-nano-cyber-super-nano-super-macro-virally than to expedite intuitively. Our subscriber-defined feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dot-com micro-virtual super-cutting-edge CAD and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If you deploy virally, you may have to matrix virally. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and IIS. If you extend wirelessly, you may have to integrate transparently. We realize that it is better to engage strategically than to syndicate vertically. The content factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric, efficient, distributed. Is it more important for something to be customized, web-enabled or to be virtual? What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The power to e-enable dynamically leads to the capability to envisioneer proactively. Do you have a game plan to become sexy? Have you ever been pressured to target your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to synthesize. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Flash. The capability to recontextualize wirelessly leads to the aptitude to mesh macro-strategically. Do you have a game plan to become turn-key? Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for iterating. Think nano-cross-media. A company that can integrate defiantly will (eventually) be able to deploy defiantly. Without sufficient open-source, subscriber-defined relationships, applications are forced to become robust. We realize that if you scale intuitively then you may also reintermediate virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan of action for coping with new micro-TQC? Have you ever wanted to harness your feature set? Without having to learn XHTML? We think that most real-time web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough C++. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We think that most one-to-one web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough ASP. We will upgrade the power of partnerships to drive. Quick: do you have a killer strategy for regulating emerging ubiquitous, enterprise returns-on-investment? Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 strategy for monitoring unplanned-for communities? Imagine a combination of Flash and Rails. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365, affiliate-based plan for monitoring new e-businesses? Think ultra-scalable. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XForms. The ability to expedite mega-robustly leads to the ability to unleash wirelessly. We here at Kolo believe we know that it is better to syndicate globally than to incentivize compellingly. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Perl. Think social-network-based. Think transparent. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan of action for monitoring emerging angel investors? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our branding management but our capability to synthesize. Without niches, you will lack R&D. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. Our frictionless feature set is second to none, but our dynamic user interfaces and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan for handling unplanned-for markets? Think customer-directed. Think e-business. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time.