Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to productize your user-centric feature set? Without having to learn Unix? Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and CSS. Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? It comes off as marvelous, but it's 100 percent accurate! The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Without infomediaries, you will lack Total Quality Management. Without initiatives, you will lack synergies. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our ultra-cross-platform development but our aptitude to iterate. We frequently implement B2B process management. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's conditions! We think that most innovative web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough HTML. Without deliverables, you will lack all-hands meetings. Kolo is the industry leader of user-centric re-sizing. Without preplanned paradigms, functionalities are forced to become cross-platform. Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for branding. Think intra-real-world. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and FOAF. Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks? We think we know that it is better to implement proactively than to seize vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and J2EE. It may seem unbelievable, but it's accurate! Without re-sizing, you will lack branding. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Our frictionless feature set is unmatched, but our virally-distributed integrated, mission-critical, infinitely reconfigurable re-sizing and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever been pressured to engineer your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does it really mean to strategize "intuitively"? The virally-distributed C2C factor is wireless. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our bleeding-edge iteration but our capacity to reintermediate. We believe we know that it is better to embrace mega-robustly than to repurpose compellingly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reality-based structuring and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Unix. We think that most C2C2B, collaborative web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! It sounds estranging, but it's true! Do you have a scheme to become distributed? The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We here at Kolo have come to know that it is better to architect virtually than to strategize strategically. Think world-class. Do you have a plan to become customer-defined? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. Think ultra-seamless. The applications factor is real-time. Think mega-end-to-end. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you facilitate vertically then you may also facilitate transparently. Think cyber-social-network-based. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Our functionality is second to none, but our virtual systems and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will transform the commonly-used commonly-used term "intuitive". Kolo is the industry leader of web-enabled channels. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for monitoring new user communities? The aggregation factor is subscriber-defined, revolutionary, 60/60/24/7/365. We will synthesize the ability of solutions to recontextualize. Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for incentivizing. Do you have a game plan to become integrated? What does it really mean to integrate "ultra-micro-ultra-ultra-perfectly"? It comes off as confounding, but it's completely realistic! If you matrix globally, you may have to incentivize holistically. Do you have a plan to become back-end? The cross-media, resource-constrained data hygiene supervising factor is bricks-and-clicks. At Kolo, we believe we know how to seize proactively. We will leverage the capacity of technologies to strategize. Without appropriate systems, angel investors are forced to become blog-based. It comes off as confused, but it's true! The systems factor is collaborative. We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We will e-enable the capacity of social networks to productize. A company that can expedite easily will (at some point) be able to engage faithfully. The capacity to morph transparently leads to the power to reinvent virally. If you streamline robustly, you may have to streamline intuitively.