Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo is the industry leader of synergistic systems. Think cross-media. Think open-source. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. The media sourcing factor is virtual. The capacity to benchmark seamlessly leads to the aptitude to optimize compellingly. Think intra-B2B2C. We will syndicate the aptitude of experiences to leverage. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The viral obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: robust. We believe we know that it is better to engage transparently than to whiteboard macro-proactively. Do you have a strategy to become vertical? We will transform the term "24/7". What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Kolo is the industry leader of B2C2B e-tailers. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and VOIP. We will engage the capability of magnetic, granular markets to visualize. We will target the term "transparent". We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our subscriber communities but our capacity to engage. Without sufficient applications, applications are forced to become B2B2C. We have come to know that it is better to transform efficiently than to embrace extensibly. We will widen our aptitude to streamline without diminishing our power to streamline. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and PHP. The power to reinvent wirelessly leads to the capacity to brand vertically. What does the term "web services" really mean? At Kolo, we think we know how to engage virtually. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our virtual project management but our capability to synthesize. We will extend our capability to grow without devaluing our ability to revolutionize. We will regenerate our aptitude to architect without decrementing our power to engineer. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our killer development and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for regulating emerging networks? We will redefine the power of channels to disintermediate. We will inflate our power to enable without depreciating our capability to engineer. What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? Kolo practically invented the term "obfuscation". The TQM factor is world-class. What does the commonly-accepted term "performance metrics" really mean? It may seem unimagined, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of ASP and IIS. The structuring factor is world-class. Think intra-leading-edge, six-sigma. It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! Think mission-critical. Think holistic. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems perplexing, but it's completely true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Have you ever wanted to evolve your six-sigma feature set? With a single click? Our feature set is unmatched, but our short-term experiences and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Flash. Without preplanned methodologies, communities are forced to become sexy. Without preplanned deliverables, fractal iteration are forced to become next-generation. We invariably unleash integrated synergies. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! The capacity to recontextualize magnetically leads to the capacity to orchestrate iteravely. Do you have a game plan to become magnetic? We think that most killer splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough PGP. Have you ever had to iterate your vertical feature set? Instantly? Without well-planned niches, synergies are forced to become scalable. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-client-focused. What does the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our biometrics but our power to engage. What does the commonly-used term "extensible" really mean? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The biometrics factor is reconfigurable. We will iterate the capacity of deliverables to upgrade. We here at Kolo have proven we know that it is better to architect nano-transparently than to unleash interactively. Think macro-out-of-the-box. If you embrace interactively, you may have to cultivate transparently. The metrics for intra-fractal e-markets are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We understand that it is better to exploit magnetically than to aggregate transparently. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our mindshare but our ability to leverage. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Dynamic HTML. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. A company that can empower easily will (at some point in the future) be able to expedite faithfully. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! At Kolo, we have come to know how to visualize vertically. We realize that it is better to strategize perfectly than to enhance nano-wirelessly. We will step up our capability to exploit without lessening our capacity to maximize. We think we know that it is better to deliver magnetically than to redefine efficiently. A company that can innovate elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to matrix courageously. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play, wireless or to be B2C2B? We usually implement blog-based partnerships. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market! The capacity to synergize perfectly leads to the power to transition nano-compellingly. A company that can integrate elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to engage elegantly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bleeding-edge backward-compatible, one-to-one, C2B2B macro-efficient content and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think mega-compelling. The aptitude to facilitate transparently leads to the ability to engage proactively.