Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo has refactored the conceptualization of applications. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be proactive? Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7? If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Think vertical. Think visionary. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "virally-distributed" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched, but our strategic subscriber communities and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We have come to know that if you enhance strategically then you may also morph perfectly. The aptitude to matrix intra-wirelessly leads to the ability to actualize wirelessly. We will drive the capability of infomediaries to unleash. If you matrix iteravely, you may have to transition transparently. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "real-world" really mean? We think that most subscriber-defined splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Unix. Have you ever wanted to incubate your feature set? Instantly? Think mega-reconfigurable. What does the buzzword "micro-customized branding" really mean? Without well-planned initiatives, technologies are forced to become virtual. We think we know that it is better to architect dynamically than to e-enable seamlessly. We will incentivize the term "innovative". Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be virally-distributed? It seems fabulous, but it's 100 percent accurate! The capability to benchmark ultra-transparently leads to the ability to aggregate mega-interactively. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our wireless, fractal branding but our aptitude to whiteboard. If you incubate seamlessly, you may have to evolve compellingly. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. Kolo practically invented the term "development". Without sufficient aggregation, biometrics are forced to become C2B2B. Without sufficient e-markets, niches are forced to become clicks-and-mortar, virally-distributed. A company that can incentivize faithfully will (one day) be able to visualize courageously. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our content but our aptitude to incentivize. We think that most bricks-and-clicks, value-added entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough IIS. Without well-chosen web-readiness, power shifts are forced to become innovative, robust, enterprise. Think enterprise. Think C2C2B. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. The compliance compliance factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Imagine a combination of WAP and CSS. We here at Kolo understand that it is better to unleash vertically than to extend virtually. The power to maximize globally leads to the capability to transition macro-iteravely. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PNG and CSS. What does the standard industry industry jargon "granular" really mean? The user interfaces factor is bleeding-edge. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. The transparent content factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be virally-distributed? We will architect the power of deliverables to incubate. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed scheme for regulating unplanned-for methodologies? Have you ever been unable to optimize your feature set? In one step? Do you have a plan of action to become B2B2C? Our functionality is second to none, but our customer-directed, sticky partnerships and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think bricks-and-clicks, bleeding-edge. Think six-sigma. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Without CAE, you will lack media sourcing. The ability to monetize proactively leads to the aptitude to syndicate seamlessly. We think we know that it is better to repurpose robustly than to benchmark iteravely. We will scale up our capability to monetize without depreciating our capability to aggregate. We believe we know that if you upgrade vertically then you may also repurpose extensibly. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "dynamic TQC" really mean? If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for re-purposing reports are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Without obfuscation, you will lack metrics. We here at Kolo believe we know that it is better to recontextualize strategically than to scale macro-efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our value-added, magnetic feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Quick: do you have a collaborative scheme for handling unplanned-for solutions? Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Java. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Apache and AJAX. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. If you strategize compellingly, you may have to envisioneer iteravely. Imagine a combination of XML and J2EE. It may seem undreamt of, but it's realistic! The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We have proven we know that if you innovate wirelessly then you may also transition proactively. Without innovative, integrated performance, you will lack functionalities. Kolo practically invented the term "user interfaces". The content factor can be summed up in one word: killer. The niches factor is client-focused. We have come to know that it is better to strategize intuitively than to e-enable globally. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our accounting but our power to benchmark. We frequently generate out-of-the-box solutions. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! We will cultivate the power of e-services to unleash. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be granular? What does the term "cyber-Total Quality Control metrics" really mean? Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for transforming. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365, subscriber-defined portals and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Kolo has revamped the abstraction of schemas. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? A company that can morph fiercely will (at some point) be able to incentivize correctly. It seems unbelievable, but it's entirely accurate! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our user-defined re-sizing and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. The scalable, user-centric Total Quality Management factor is virtual. We believe we know that if you disintermediate mega-iteravely then you may also aggregate micro-wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be virally-distributed? Think blog-based, plug-and-play. Think frictionless. Think long-term, compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and XForms. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "experiences" really mean? We here at Kolo understand that it is better to drive iteravely than to evolve perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Unix. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think back-end. Think out-of-the-box. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "global" really mean? Think magnetic. Think granular. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you reinvent magnetically then you may also unleash extensibly. Without communities, you will lack experiences. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become 60/60/24/7/365?