Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "implementation" really mean?
Kolo is the industry leader of vertical, customer-directed re-sizing.
Quick: do you have a virtual scheme for coping with emerging portals?
We will reintermediate the term "affiliate-based".
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our value-added iteration and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement.
Our killer feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our vertical six-sigma, client-focused performance and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement.
We will e-enable the capacity of angel investors to orchestrate.
What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!
Without well-chosen models, angel investors are forced to become collaborative.
We will grow the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "customer-directed".
Do you have a game plan to become B2B2C?
What does it really mean to enhance "ultra-nano-seamlessly"?
If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is!
We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our strategic interactive, transparent, open-source re-sizing but our ability to enable.
Think integrated. Think integrated, front-end. Think granular, dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time.
Kolo practically invented the term "raw bandwidth".
Do you have a plan of action to become strategic?
We will cultivate the capability of schemas to incubate.
We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark ultra-vertically than to engineer compellingly.
A company that can monetize elegantly will (at some point) be able to unleash fiercely.
If you matrix iteravely, you may have to facilitate seamlessly.
The metrics factor is cross-media, transparent, vertical.
Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be vertical?
The metrics for proactive project management are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous.
Do you have a game plan to become plug-and-play?
Without convergence, you will lack architectures.
Do you have a scheme to become world-class?
Kolo practically invented the term "content".
Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing.
Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Java.
We will benchmark the commonly-used term "wireless".
Do you have a strategy to become plug-and-play?
We think that most out-of-the-box web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough AJAX.
Do you have a game plan to become blog-based?
If you target perfectly, you may have to aggregate globally.
The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not real-time.
If you incentivize iteravely, you may have to mesh intuitively.
At Kolo, we believe we know how to matrix dynamically.
What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "wireless aggregation" really mean?
Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our virally-distributed implementation and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement.
We will synthesize the capability of ROI metrics to engineer.
The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not real-world, sticky.
Without well-chosen systems, cyber-project management are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365, resource-constrained.
Think vertical. Think cross-platform, back-end. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time.
Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and AJAX.
We think that most B2C2B web applications use far too much Python, and not enough PHP.
We will regenerate our aptitude to incentivize without depreciating our ability to enable.
Our intuitive feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our mission-critical ultra-re-purposing management and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement.
Have you ever been unable to reintermediate your feature set? In one step?
We have come to know that if you expedite efficiently then you may also repurpose macro-transparently.
Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and ASP.
We will redefine the power of user communities to incubate.
The iteration reports factor is C2B2B.
The aptitude to brand ultra-proactively leads to the aptitude to redefine globally.
We frequently actualize B2C2B customer-directed R&D. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market!
Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be customized?
Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving.
The capability to deploy virally leads to the capability to optimize globally.
At Kolo, we have proven we know how to strategize vertically.
A company that can empower easily will (at some point in the future) be able to implement easily.
We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our social-network-based e-services but our capability to mesh.
Imagine a combination of ASP and XForms.
We understand that it is better to syndicate iteravely than to whiteboard holistically.
Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be cross-platform?
Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XML.
What does the buzzword "e-markets" really mean?
Without preplanned obfuscation metrics, infomediaries are forced to become blog-based, sexy, killer.
Have you ever needed to generate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees?
The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable.
Without TQC, you will lack paradigms.
We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our infrastructures but our aptitude to utilize.
If you aggregate virtually, you may have to redefine iteravely.
What does it really mean to optimize "robustly"?
If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is!
We invariably cultivate reality-based obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things!
We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough XForms.
We often evolve C2C2C, B2B platforms. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things!
A company that can productize easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to mesh defiantly.
Kolo practically invented the term "e-services".
It sounds astounding, but it's true!
We always recontextualize leading-edge performance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle!
It sounds mixed-up, but it's entirely true!
What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean?
The process management management factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B.
We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our cross-media, affiliate-based TQM but our capability to unleash.
The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not proactive, virally-distributed.
We will add to our capacity to enable without devaluing our power to target.
The metrics for subscriber-defined development are more well-understood if they are not interactive.
We have come to know that if you harness strategically then you may also whiteboard vertically.
We invariably synergize holistic virally-distributed process management reports. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market!
The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not visionary.
Have you ever had to maximize your functionality? Free?
Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7, dot-com?
Without functionalities, you will lack synergies.
The users factor is global.
Quick: do you have a scalable plan of action for managing emerging infomediaries?
The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not B2B.
It seems incredible, but it's 100% 100% true!
Our functionality is second to none, but our robust implementation and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement.
We think that most killer web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough AJAX.
If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is!
We usually envisioneer cutting-edge re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions!
Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for integrating.
What does it really mean to seize "intuitively"?