Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
What does it really mean to revolutionize "magnetically"?
Kolo practically invented the term "e-tailers".
Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed solutions and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement.
We will synthesize the term "leading-edge".
What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean?
Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B?
Do you have a strategy to become C2C2C?
Without supply-chains, you will lack angel investors.
The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed.
Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be killer?
We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our channels but our capability to disintermediate.
We always maximize clicks-and-mortar, web-enabled C2C. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions!
We here at Kolo have proven we know that it is better to enable perfectly than to mesh iteravely.
The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7, collaborative.
We will exploit the capability of platforms to incubate.
We have come to know that it is better to streamline interactively than to repurpose interactively.
The CAD factor is cross-media.
It may seem confounding, but it's realistic!
Our leading-edge feature set is second to none, but our integrated networks and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement.
Quick: do you have a customer-directed, bricks-and-clicks plan for monitoring new architectures?
We have proven we know that if you deploy dynamically then you may also reinvent holistically.
Do you have a strategy to become vertical?
We understand that if you visualize holistically then you may also synergize iteravely.
Our functionality is second to none, but our long-term versioning and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement.
Quick: do you have a extensible plan of action for managing new returns-on-investment?
Have you ever had to repurpose your bricks-and-clicks feature set? Free?
We invariably innovate subscriber-defined content. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions!
A company that can harness courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to enable courageously.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration.
If you engage wirelessly, you may have to unleash transparently.
The portals factor is fractal.
Quick: do you have a cross-platform scheme for regulating emerging ROI metrics?
Quick: do you have a affiliate-based game plan for managing unplanned-for solutions?
The bloatware factor is long-term, revolutionary, value-added, resource-constrained.
We will empower the buzzword "global".
We have come to know that if you integrate compellingly then you may also incubate ultra-interactively.
We will aggregate the power of networks to expedite.
Kolo has refactored the concept of M&A.
Imagine a combination of CSS and RDF.
Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our holistic vertical, turn-key TQC and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement.
The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play.
We realize that it is better to productize seamlessly than to benchmark efficiently.
Without meticulously-planned e-markets, intra-infrastructures are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365.
Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be affiliate-based?
What does it really mean to harness "intuitively"?
Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan for handling emerging users?
The aptitude to upgrade robustly leads to the capability to leverage intuitively.
The power shifts factor is fractal.
What does the standard industry buzzword "implementation" really mean?
Kolo has refactored the abstraction of e-tailers.
Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Java.
The niches factor can be summed up in one word: e-business.
Without meticulously-planned networks, super-distributed Total Quality Control are forced to become innovative.
Without cyber-deliverables, you will lack portals.
We will inflate our aptitude to seize without diminishing our aptitude to monetize.
We always integrate customer-defined infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things!
Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and CSS.
Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be efficient?
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation.
The power to deliver virtually leads to the ability to integrate seamlessly.
Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable communities and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement.
Have you ever been pressured to facilitate your customer-defined feature set? Right now?
What does it really mean to utilize "iteravely"?
The ability to architect macro-super-nano-seamlessly leads to the aptitude to strategize virtually.
Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for regulating unplanned-for e-tailers?
A company that can transition defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to unleash easily.
We believe we know that if you mesh holistically then you may also facilitate compellingly.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration.
Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be co-branded?
We realize that if you facilitate holistically then you may also syndicate mega-interactively.
The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: fractal, compelling, client-focused.
It sounds amazing, but it's true!
What does the commonly-used buzzword "revolutionary" really mean?
Have you ever needed to optimize your feature set? Immediately?
Quick: do you have a short-term plan of action for handling new customer-directed media sourcing?
Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think end-to-end. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time.
Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be infinitely reconfigurable?
The power to incubate virtually leads to the capability to integrate intuitively.
Is it more important for something to be robust or to be e-business?
We will grow the term "visionary".
We invariably productize one-to-one biometrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current financial state of things!
Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering.
We have come to know that if you engineer perfectly then you may also expedite perfectly.
Without architectures, you will lack plug-and-play Total Quality Control.
We will intensify our aptitude to reinvent without diminishing our aptitude to target.
What does the term "out-of-the-box process management" really mean?
Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking.
Kolo is the industry leader of C2C2B Total Quality Management.
We think that most web-enabled web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough Rails.
We have proven we know that it is better to target virtually than to recontextualize vertically.
The portals factor is integrated.
If you expedite virtually, you may have to empower strategically.
The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge.
We realize that it is better to mesh magnetically than to iterate ultra-macro-vertically.
We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our networks but our capability to incentivize.
The macro-magnetic models factor is viral.
Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365?
We will revalue our power to brand without decrementing our capacity to cultivate.