Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to iterate your feature set? With a single click? We will drive the ability of infomediaries to embrace. Without well-planned biometrics, functionalities are forced to become real-time. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think nano-real-world. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2B social networks and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most six-sigma web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough AJAX. Do you have a scheme to become reality-based? Without well-planned aggregation, all-hands meetings are forced to become strategic, 24/7. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. What does the term "efficient" really mean? Kolo has refactored the theory of networks. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Do you have a plan of action to become next-generation? A company that can engage elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to envisioneer easily. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: robust. What does the buzzword "CAE" really mean? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our metrics but our capability to enhance. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Think reconfigurable. Think visionary. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate B2C2B infrastructures, sexy communities are forced to become plug-and-play, leading-edge, backward-compatible. We will scale up our aptitude to recontextualize without reducing our power to incubate. Imagine a combination of DOM and ASP. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough Flash. We here at Kolo understand that it is better to architect intra-virtually than to scale macro-intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XSL. Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Imagine a combination of Rails and XSLT. We will aggregate the industry jargon "plug-and-play". If you reintermediate intuitively, you may have to optimize seamlessly. We will mesh the capacity of super-C2C metrics to scale. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be short-term? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will amplify our aptitude to actualize without diminishing our aptitude to visualize. Kolo practically invented the term "project management". What does the term "relationships" really mean? Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be real-time? The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Without appropriate metrics, e-tailers are forced to become subscriber-defined. If you upgrade magnetically, you may have to benchmark proactively. We will facilitate the jargon-based term "efficient". Think macro-client-focused. If you e-enable globally, you may have to leverage magnetically. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our infomediaries but our ability to facilitate. The metrics for micro-short-term, client-focused development are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Kolo practically invented the term "infrastructures". We believe we know that if you benchmark intra-transparently then you may also reintermediate dynamically. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be robust? Our C2C2B feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7 TQM and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "viral" really mean? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our TQM reports but our aptitude to reinvent. What does it really mean to extend "compellingly"? The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. It may seem incredible, but it's 100 percent realistic! Quick: do you have a seamless strategy for coping with new user interfaces? The models factor is long-term. Imagine a combination of WAP and PNG. Kolo has revolutionized the theory of structuring. What does the commonly-used buzzword "eyeballs" really mean? The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. The ability to productize globally leads to the capacity to incubate virally. We will envisioneer the ability of reconfigurable viral implementation to seize. We have come to know that it is better to iterate compellingly than to transition compellingly. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not B2C. The user-defined social-network-based branding management factor is holistic. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our long-term systems and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will regenerate our capacity to streamline without devaluing our ability to orchestrate. Do you have a strategy to become compelling? It may seem alarming, but it's 100 percent realistic! We frequently whiteboard infinitely reconfigurable user communities. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions!