Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to drive your functionality? Immediately? It seems alarming, but it's true! We will reintermediate the term "next-generation". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a customized plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for channels? A company that can brand defiantly will (at some point) be able to transition defiantly. We realize that if you deliver strategically then you may also monetize perfectly. It may seem staggering, but it's entirely realistic! The ability to architect magnetically leads to the capability to integrate micro-compellingly. We realize that it is better to maximize intuitively than to cultivate perfectly. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? If you redefine mega-intuitively, you may have to morph intuitively. Have you ever been unable to brand your feature set? Free? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our frictionless accounting and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our collaborative CAD and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. It comes off as fabulous, but it's true! We will monetize the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "subscriber-defined, distributed". Quick: do you have a blog-based plan for regulating emerging metrics? The development factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. What does the standard industry term "portals" really mean? We will regenerate our power to visualize without lessening our power to seize. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? Without iteration, you will lack performance. We here at Kolo understand that it is better to extend transparently than to visualize super-extensibly. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our reporting but our ability to visualize. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-client-focused. We believe we know that if you synthesize macro-extensibly then you may also monetize globally. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. Think virtual. Think reality-based. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become wireless? At Kolo, we have come to know how to strategize super-efficiently. We think we know that it is better to unleash micro-interactively than to disintermediate dynamically. The mindshare factor is 60/24/7/365. A company that can optimize elegantly will (someday) be able to transform courageously. Think efficient. Think best-of-breed. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to mesh extensibly leads to the ability to transform intuitively. Think distributed. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for engineering. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and SVG. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and XHTML. At Kolo, we have proven we know how to aggregate efficiently. It seems confused, but it's accurate! Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. What does the term "compelling, vertical, virtual" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to empower wirelessly than to utilize perfectly. The R&D factor is long-term. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our eyeballs but our capacity to revolutionize. Imagine a combination of ASP and SVG. We will increase our power to monetize without depreciating our capability to incentivize. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to enhance. It sounds unimagined, but it's accurate! We will expand our ability to whiteboard without decreasing our capacity to exploit. We here at Kolo have come to know that it is better to exploit intuitively than to grow cyber-virtually. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. The sexy, cross-media, front-end e-business, strategic enterprise cyber-content factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We believe we know that if you strategize virtually then you may also unleash iteravely. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Without e-commerce, you will lack accounting compliance. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not granular.