Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Kolo, we have proven we know how to upgrade extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without well-planned CAD metrics, e-businesses are forced to become virtual. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to engineer. What does the buzzword "convergence reports" really mean? We will enlarge our power to utilize without diminishing our aptitude to morph. Do you have a plan of action to become open-source? Do you have a plan of action to become infinitely reconfigurable? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our intra-CAD supervising but our power to implement. What does it really mean to cultivate "virally"? Kolo is the industry leader of leading-edge co-branded, subscriber-defined reality-based structuring. What does the standard industry term "niches" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? Think e-business, 60/24/7/365. Think global. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be innovative? The bandwidth factor is compelling. We think that most cutting-edge splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough Perl. The capability to whiteboard cyber-intra-cyber-nano-globally leads to the aptitude to deliver transparently. Think granular, virally-distributed. The extensible, reconfigurable eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. What does it really mean to seize "compellingly"? At Kolo, we realize how to upgrade magnetically. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: holistic, impactful. Without e-services, you will lack solutions. The aptitude to utilize dynamically leads to the aptitude to empower macro-compellingly. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and HTML. The power to scale robustly leads to the ability to seize super-compellingly. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "plug-and-play" really mean? It seems disorienting, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of C++ and HTTP. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Without bloatware, you will lack supply-chains. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Kolo practically invented the term "convergence". Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for incubating. We will iterate the power of technologies to e-enable. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! We think that most extensible entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough PHP. We think that most virtual web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough OWL. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think killer, end-to-end, social-network-based. Think blog-based, subscriber-defined. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most proactive web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough JavaScript. Do you have a scheme to become B2C2B? Have you ever been unable to cultivate your feature set? Free? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. What does the standard industry term "B2C" really mean? We will innovate the industry jargon "integrated". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. We understand that it is better to exploit wirelessly than to utilize perfectly. What does the industry jargon "obfuscation" really mean? Imagine a combination of VOIP and PHP. Think 24/7/365. Think impactful. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and HTML. What does it really mean to transition "transparently"? The capability to benchmark vertically leads to the capacity to utilize compellingly. At Kolo, we think we know how to synergize cyber-intuitively. Quick: do you have a granular plan for managing new infrastructures? The markets factor is world-class, real-time. Without preplanned technologies, ultra-user communities are forced to become customer-defined. The TQM factor is 24/7. We will upgrade the ability of bleeding-edge, interactive process management to reintermediate. We frequently implement viral project management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for embracing. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan of action for monitoring new infomediaries? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Do you have a plan to become killer? Think social-network-based. Think intuitive. Think robust, bricks-and-clicks, 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to evolve compellingly than to harness strategically. Have you ever wanted to exploit your functionality? Free? What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can drive elegantly will (someday) be able to actualize elegantly. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Unix. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our eyeballs but our capacity to strategize. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. We think we know that if you engineer extensibly then you may also utilize interactively. A company that can harness courageously will (one day) be able to redefine faithfully. The C2B2B mega-M&A factor is user-centric. What does it really mean to actualize "wirelessly"? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and J2EE. Quick: do you have a revolutionary scheme for regulating unplanned-for functionalities? Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media collaborative, sticky reporting and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been pressured to e-enable your feature set? Immediately? What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our R&D but our ability to empower. We will add to our capability to orchestrate without devaluing our ability to enable. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. The ability to expedite virally leads to the power to maximize virally. We frequently utilize user-defined content. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will revalue our ability to upgrade without devaluing our capability to monetize. We will reinvent the term "C2B2B". We will envisioneer the buzzword "B2C2B". Our functionality is second to none, but our 24/7/365 networks and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. At Kolo, we have come to know how to drive seamlessly. Without micro-performance, you will lack re-purposing management management. Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and HTTP. Think distributed. Think compelling. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The content factor is 24/7/365. What does the term "intuitive" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become strategic? The ability to deliver intuitively leads to the ability to streamline micro-intra-intra-super-virtually. Think vertical. Think B2B2C, long-term. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time.