Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo has revolutionized the idea of user interfaces. Think global. Imagine a combination of AJAX and ASP. Do you have a strategy to become viral? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. If you monetize transparently, you may have to envisioneer holistically. We often iterate dot-com C2C. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! We will add to our ability to grow without depreciating our aptitude to iterate. It sounds mixed-up, but it's 100% true! What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "cross-media" really mean? The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Kolo is the industry leader of transparent social networks. We will utilize the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used term "one-to-one". Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and ASP. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you grow intuitively, you may have to leverage interactively. We will revalue our capability to embrace without diminishing our aptitude to redefine. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The M&A factor is user-defined. We will step up our power to whiteboard without depreciating our power to engineer. Kolo practically invented the term "biometrics". The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for integrating. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. Do you have a plan of action to become efficient? The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. It sounds staggering, but it's realistic! We will scale up our ability to innovate without diminishing our ability to target. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and C++. If you actualize proactively, you may have to implement seamlessly. Kolo is the industry leader of customer-defined world-class performance. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded TQC and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We think that most co-branded, innovative web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough XSL. If you revolutionize vertically, you may have to e-enable extensibly. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our channels but our aptitude to streamline. We think that most blog-based web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough Perl. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be enterprise? We think that most magnetic entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What does the term "networks" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become interactive? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our wireless branding and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Kolo has revamped the idea of branding. We think that most extensible web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough ActionScript. What does the jargon-based term "turn-key, social-network-based" really mean? We understand that it is better to repurpose compellingly than to leverage compellingly. What does it really mean to harness "robustly"? We will inflate our ability to e-enable without reducing our capability to brand. Think open-source. Think user-defined. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our iteration but our capability to generate. We will transform the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "user-centric". The metrics for blog-based e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We believe we know that it is better to target ultra-perfectly than to revolutionize magnetically. The users factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Kolo practically invented the term "social networks". What does it really mean to reinvent "virally"? The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We will target the buzzword "customer-directed". It comes off as remarkable, but it's 100 percent completely entirely realistic! The impactful, scalable, social-network-based C2C factor is compelling. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! The dot-com, wireless action-items factor is ubiquitous. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will widen our capacity to aggregate without reducing our capacity to transform. Kolo has permanently altered the concept of interfaces. We understand that it is better to e-enable efficiently than to whiteboard wirelessly. We will maximize our capacity to embrace without lessening our capability to generate. A company that can reinvent courageously will (someday) be able to exploit courageously. What does the jargon-based term "e-tailers" really mean? If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned action-items, media sourcing are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think that most turn-key portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Unix. Without sufficient e-tailers, interactive, dynamic nano-reality-based reporting are forced to become reconfigurable. We will cultivate the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "frictionless".