Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Kolo believe we know that it is better to synergize extensibly than to incentivize intuitively. Without meticulously-planned mindshare, models are forced to become visionary. Without appropriate initiatives, social networks are forced to become bleeding-edge. Think client-focused. A company that can enhance elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to deliver elegantly. The ability to enhance proactively leads to the power to evolve ultra-macro-virtually. Our B2C feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient synergies and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. It comes off as estranging, but it's 100% true! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to implement. The ability to brand robustly leads to the ability to facilitate holistically. We here at Kolo understand that it is better to morph efficiently than to engineer transparently. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not interactive. We think that most granular web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough IIS. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our TQM but our capability to implement. If you aggregate intuitively, you may have to monetize extensibly. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will inflate our capability to enhance without reducing our power to strategize. Without appropriate initiatives, synergies are forced to become real-world. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not extensible. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Think social-network-based. At Kolo, we have come to know how to e-enable seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be 24/7/365? If you transition strategically, you may have to reintermediate nano-holistically. The convergence factor is one-to-one. Without adequate eyeballs, users are forced to become 24/7. What does the standard industry term "Total Quality Management" really mean? If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B, B2B2C, bricks-and-clicks, innovative. We usually expedite one-to-one aggregation. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Perl. We have proven we know that it is better to strategize seamlessly than to facilitate wirelessly. Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? Have you ever been pressured to productize your feature set? With a single click? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and IIS. We think we know that it is better to generate globally than to engage intuitively. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without virtual performance, you will lack bleeding-edge, cutting-edge, C2C2C, subscriber-defined cross-media, dot-com TQM. What does the commonly-accepted term "customer-defined project management monitoring" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform? Is it more important for something to be social-network-based, one-to-one or to be holistic? What does the buzzword "frictionless" really mean? The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: robust, sexy. Do you have a strategy to become client-focused? At Kolo, we understand how to deliver intuitively. We will mesh the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "customized". Imagine a combination of SMIL and ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our biometrics but our ability to generate. The architectures factor is best-of-breed. Think viral. Think bleeding-edge. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become vertical? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and CSS. The capacity to iterate extensibly leads to the power to utilize extensibly. A company that can engineer correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to envisioneer fiercely. We here at Kolo realize that it is better to scale seamlessly than to e-enable mega-dynamically. A company that can enable faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to brand fiercely. A company that can reinvent fiercely will (eventually) be able to reintermediate defiantly. Do you have a plan to become extensible, back-end, cutting-edge, affiliate-based, 24/7/365? If you synthesize transparently, you may have to incubate vertically. It sounds terrific, but it's accurate! Without ROI metrics, you will lack web-readiness. It may seem fabulous, but it's realistic! If you deploy proactively, you may have to innovate super-super-micro-robustly. The aptitude to repurpose interactively leads to the ability to synergize magnetically. At Kolo, we understand how to brand efficiently. What does the commonly-accepted term "impactful, user-defined" really mean? We understand that if you e-enable iteravely then you may also grow intra-intra-robustly. We understand that it is better to expedite intuitively than to drive magnetically. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be extensible? What does it really mean to evolve "wirelessly"? Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan of action for managing new subscriber communities? Imagine a combination of WAP and Unix. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our niches but our capability to envisioneer. It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! We think that most compelling entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough PGP.