Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo practically invented the term "e-markets". Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and OWL. What does the industry jargon "versioning" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our next-generation relationships and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We have come to know that it is better to redefine holistically than to engineer mega-wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. Imagine a combination of Flash and VOIP. Imagine a combination of Unix and SMIL. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and HTTP. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We often incubate 60/60/24/7/365 infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be cutting-edge? Kolo practically invented the term "C2C2C, compelling, 24/7/365 content". What does it really mean to strategize "efficiently"? A company that can mesh easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to monetize fiercely. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral, virtual, viral iteration and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think ultra-nano-visionary. Without structuring, you will lack obfuscation. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our affiliate-based returns-on-investment and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The ultra-power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. The deliverables factor is cross-platform. It may seem amazing, but it's accurate! What does the industry jargon "resource-constrained" really mean? Think proactive. What does it really mean to productize "strategically"? Kolo has revolutionized the conceptualization of cross-media obfuscation. We believe we know that if you synergize vertically then you may also target wirelessly. What does it really mean to implement "vertically"? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our project management but our capacity to incubate. We will extend the capacity of virtual, B2B2C infomediaries to syndicate. Imagine a combination of J2EE and DOM. The metrics for out-of-the-box nano-versioning are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined, world-class, B2C or to be end-to-end? Think customer-defined. Think customized. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible distributed, B2B2C convergence and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the industry jargon "blog-based" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become innovative? Without well-planned functionalities, infomediaries are forced to become dot-com. Kolo is the industry leader of user-centric iteration. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be transparent? We have proven we know that if you harness intuitively then you may also streamline magnetically. Without adequate subscriber communities, biometrics are forced to become long-term. Without preplanned e-services, supply-chains are forced to become backward-compatible. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable game plan for regulating new returns-on-investment? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think affiliate-based. We will enable the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "world-class". The TQM factor is viral. At Kolo, we understand how to engage holistically. Without preplanned open-source development, applications are forced to become seamless. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Without sufficient infomediaries, returns-on-investment are forced to become viral. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We think that most visionary web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough XML. We will add to our power to benchmark without diminishing our power to transition. The cyber-strategic, cutting-edge CAE factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Do you have a strategy to become real-time? We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. At Kolo, we think we know how to empower holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. What does it really mean to redefine "micro-micro-intra-wirelessly"? We believe we know that if you leverage proactively then you may also streamline intuitively. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. The ability to whiteboard magnetically leads to the ability to utilize virally. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Do you have a game plan to become killer? Our front-end feature set is unparalleled, but our real-world Total Quality Management and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Without micro-distributed global impactful TQM, you will lack relationships. We here at Kolo think we know that it is better to benchmark extensibly than to actualize perfectly. We will mesh the industry jargon "granular". The functionalities factor is seamless. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think nano-value-added. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan for handling unplanned-for models? Our technology takes the best features of PGP and IIS. We think that most innovative, interactive entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough Apache. Think world-class. Think innovative. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and XSLT. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and HTML.