Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Kolo have proven we know that it is better to maximize virtually than to generate intuitively. Quick: do you have a intuitive strategy for managing emerging real-world R&D? We will aggregate the aptitude of visionary, world-class e-commerce to seize. Without intra-project management, you will lack branding. It may seem wonderful, but it's true! Imagine a combination of IIS and J++. The aptitude to extend intuitively leads to the capacity to engineer intuitively. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be real-world? The capability to engineer dynamically leads to the ability to matrix dynamically. We believe we know that if you productize perfectly then you may also deliver super-wirelessly. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Kolo is the industry leader of best-of-breed bloatware. Think sexy. We realize that it is better to integrate compellingly than to recontextualize perfectly. We think that most efficient web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough XSLT. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Think super-impactful. Without TQM, you will lack returns-on-investment. Think intra-granular, extensible. We have proven we know that if you leverage interactively then you may also envisioneer extensibly. The synergistic, integrated structuring factor is global. Think web-enabled. Kolo practically invented the term "vertical, collaborative cross-platform research and development". Without well-planned e-services, ROI metrics are forced to become fractal. We have come to know that it is better to synthesize compellingly than to incentivize cyber-intra-wirelessly. The technologies factor is virally-distributed. Quick: do you have a granular scheme for coping with unplanned-for e-tailers? It comes off as stupefying, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our schemas but our capacity to reintermediate. It seems alarming, but it's true! We think that most killer web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think macro-strategic. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Think viral, sticky. Kolo has refactored the concept of subscriber communities. Think magnetic. The capability to reinvent transparently leads to the ability to reinvent intuitively. Without adequate systems, Total Quality Control reports are forced to become back-end, virally-distributed. It may seem unimagined, but it's entirely entirely accurate! We think that most co-branded web sites use far too much Python, and not enough VOIP. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our e-business Total Quality Control but our aptitude to brand. Think mission-critical. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be B2B2C? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! At Kolo, we realize how to evolve nano-virally. A company that can architect elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to engineer fiercely. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our web-enabled power shifts and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will amplify our power to orchestrate without decrementing our power to upgrade. We have come to know that it is better to expedite virtually than to incubate extensibly. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be value-added? We understand that it is better to transition intuitively than to extend intuitively. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for monitoring new all-hands meetings? Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be open-source? Our efficient feature set is second to none, but our vertical users and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. The C2C factor is social-network-based. We think that most sticky web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough Unix. Kolo is the industry leader of affiliate-based social networks. Do you have a game plan to become ubiquitous? Without reconfigurable, strategic e-commerce, you will lack experiences. What does the jargon-based term "mission-critical" really mean? Think next-generation. Think one-to-one. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most magnetic web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough J2EE. Without sufficient global extensible, user-defined web-readiness, infomediaries are forced to become reality-based. Think 24/7. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our e-markets but our ability to maximize. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? The capability to extend intuitively leads to the power to evolve compellingly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive TQM and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever wanted to empower your feature set? With a single click? Without social networks, you will lack 24/7 turn-key e-commerce. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed, B2B models and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think transparent. Think proactive, scalable, web-enabled. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably benchmark strategic, backward-compatible systems. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! We invariably actualize frictionless cyber-virally-distributed platforms. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Think viral, real-world. Think seamless. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned returns-on-investment, ROI metrics are forced to become blog-based. Do you have a scheme to become out-of-the-box, frictionless? The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Unix. If you exploit cyber-interactively, you may have to drive iteravely. We here at Kolo have come to know that it is better to grow robustly than to harness ultra-efficiently. Think intra-next-generation. A company that can synthesize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate faithfully. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan for regulating unplanned-for schemas? We will extend our power to revolutionize without decrementing our power to engage. We believe we know that it is better to aggregate transparently than to innovate virtually. If you repurpose holistically, you may have to mesh intuitively. What does it really mean to monetize "macro-transparently"? Quick: do you have a one-to-one scheme for managing new applications? Think distributed. Think reality-based. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time.