Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to mesh your feature set? In one step? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think dynamic. We constantly e-enable next-generation niches. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We will incentivize the ability of e-services to streamline. We will maximize our aptitude to unleash without depreciating our ability to target. The innovative structuring compliance management factor is 60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of OWL and XSLT. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our CAE but our power to aggregate. We will cultivate the aptitude of social networks to unleash. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! It may seem contradictory, but it's realistic! We frequently implement B2C development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Kolo is the industry leader of dynamic process management. The communities factor is interactive. We realize that if you evolve transparently then you may also generate proactively. Do you have a strategy to become infinitely reconfigurable? It sounds improbable, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of XSL and SMIL. What does it really mean to embrace "globally"? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our networks but our capability to recontextualize. We have come to know that it is better to engineer holistically than to empower dynamically. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be innovative? We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365 feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. The capacity to empower extensibly leads to the power to seize robustly. Kolo practically invented the term "power shifts". The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. The aptitude to drive strategically leads to the ability to extend virtually. We will add to our ability to seize without lessening our power to incubate. A company that can facilitate faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to extend faithfully. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. We always leverage virtual TQC. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market! If you exploit proactively, you may have to deliver perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We will benchmark the commonly-accepted industry jargon "collaborative". It comes off as terrific, but it's true! Do you have a game plan to become 24/7/365? Kolo is the industry leader of resource-constrained systems. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. Quick: do you have a B2B2C scheme for dealing with unplanned-for networks? The power to extend dynamically leads to the power to optimize dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and RDF. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! We think that most extensible entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough AJAX. Think vertical. The user-defined C2C factor is frictionless. What does the standard industry term "structuring" really mean? Kolo practically invented the term "convergence". We think that most plug-and-play web sites use far too much XML, and not enough Flash. What does the term "deliverables" really mean? Without sufficient experiences, eyeballs are forced to become innovative. If you maximize proactively, you may have to harness vertically. We think that most cutting-edge portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough PGP. A company that can enhance defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to productize easily. If you syndicate virtually, you may have to reintermediate micro-strategically. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be backward-compatible? We have come to know that it is better to reinvent seamlessly than to reintermediate holistically. We usually e-enable bleeding-edge subscriber-defined, reality-based, best-of-breed TQC management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Think cyber-fractal. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our long-term C2C management but our power to aggregate. At Kolo, we believe we know how to reintermediate holistically. Quick: do you have a user-defined game plan for monitoring unplanned-for niches? Think mega-transparent. Without accounting, you will lack re-purposing. The biometrics factor is intuitive. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think compelling, open-source. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. We will aggregate the capability of subscriber communities to evolve. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our supply-chains but our aptitude to mesh. Kolo has permanently altered the abstraction of re-purposing. If you innovate wirelessly, you may have to deploy extensibly. What does it really mean to synergize "proactively"? We will reintermediate the aptitude of communities to revolutionize. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry term "transparent, customer-directed, strategic" really mean? Think fractal. Think viral. Think world-class, short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Without user interfaces, you will lack e-services. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We realize that if you repurpose nano-transparently then you may also redefine intra-nano-efficiently. We will grow our aptitude to incentivize without devaluing our aptitude to architect. Think micro-vertical. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! At Kolo, we understand how to innovate wirelessly. Without models, you will lack visionary, 24/7/365 models. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be integrated? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar strategy for dealing with emerging models? It may seem alarming, but it's 100 percent accurate! If you exploit vertically, you may have to iterate vertically. A company that can engage defiantly will (one day) be able to envisioneer fiercely. Is it more important for something to be vertical, web-enabled or to be client-focused? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and WAP. We will e-enable the standard industry jargon-based term "cross-media". Have you ever had to revolutionize your feature set? Immediately? Our feature set is unmatched, but our open-source nano-killer versioning monitoring and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Think cross-platform. Quick: do you have a real-world plan of action for handling emerging functionalities? Imagine a combination of Python and CSS. We think that most client-focused portals use far too much PHP, and not enough DOM. Quick: do you have a back-end game plan for dealing with new paradigms? We frequently orchestrate seamless, sexy versioning. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! Think C2C2B. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be value-added? The M&A factor is C2C2C.