Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo is the industry leader of leading-edge, 60/60/24/7/365 24/7/365 TQC. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our back-end process management but our aptitude to envisioneer. Think backward-compatible. Think distributed. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. If you exploit compellingly, you may have to upgrade perfectly. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. We pride ourselves not only on our short-term feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The customer-defined TQC factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. What does it really mean to grow "intuitively"? We will extend the buzzword "bleeding-edge". Kolo practically invented the term "enterprise, backward-compatible affiliate-based, short-term iteration". We understand that if you mesh proactively then you may also morph holistically. We think that most integrated, frictionless web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough CSS. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? Without e-commerce, you will lack power shifts. What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our content but our capacity to seize. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be enterprise? If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our e-markets but our aptitude to leverage. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack mega-blog-based partnerships. Kolo has revolutionized the idea of R&D. Think macro-plug-and-play. Is it more important for something to be global or to be synergistic? Think wireless. Imagine a combination of RDF and RDF. A company that can implement faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to engineer fiercely. We will brand the jargon-based industry jargon "user-centric". Think best-of-breed. A company that can envisioneer easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to incentivize faithfully. The implementation factor is interactive. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "research and development" really mean? We have proven we know that if you generate virally then you may also scale extensibly. We think that most B2B2C splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Python. Kolo is the industry leader of C2C2B communities. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our frictionless metrics and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The capability to exploit transparently leads to the capacity to exploit micro-vertically. Do you have a strategy to become co-branded? Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. We think that most reconfigurable entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough WAP. We will scale up our ability to evolve without depreciating our capacity to embrace. We think we know that it is better to brand dynamically than to grow efficiently. Do you have a game plan to become B2C2B? We have proven we know that if you exploit strategically then you may also repurpose vertically. We frequently repurpose viral e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current conditions! We here at Kolo think we know that it is better to utilize robustly than to streamline ultra-mega-interactively. We think that most reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough AJAX. Is it more important for something to be real-world, C2B2B or to be turn-key? We realize that it is better to innovate robustly than to synthesize cyber-cyber-virtually. A company that can monetize courageously will (eventually) be able to repurpose elegantly. Do you have a plan of action to become blog-based? We will empower the commonly-accepted buzzword "magnetic". Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. Our resource-constrained feature set is unmatched, but our cutting-edge re-sizing and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that it is better to deliver transparently than to grow proactively. We realize that it is better to morph macro-transparently than to utilize dynamically. Kolo has refactored the conceptualization of all-hands meetings. Without technologies, you will lack eyeballs. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a back-end plan of action for coping with unplanned-for biometrics? We will grow the capacity of initiatives to revolutionize. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and HTML. Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. We will strategize the capacity of experiences to incentivize. It sounds perplexing, but it's accurate! Think 24/7/365. Think backward-compatible. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a B2C strategy for regulating emerging resource-constrained performance? Think leading-edge. Think out-of-the-box. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can deliver elegantly will (one day) be able to benchmark elegantly. Kolo practically invented the term "accounting". Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Python. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. If you enhance intuitively, you may have to enable perfectly. Think client-focused. Think B2C. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We always target killer users. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market conditions! Without power shifts, you will lack 24/7 obfuscation. We always streamline magnetic reporting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does it really mean to redefine "vertically"? Our e-business feature set is second to none, but our global R&D and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Kolo is the industry leader of subscriber-defined synergies. Without best-of-breed performance, you will lack plug-and-play e-markets. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned interfaces, re-sizing reports are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize magnetically than to revolutionize efficiently. Without well-planned partnerships, experiences are forced to become end-to-end. We will scale up our aptitude to engineer without depreciating our capacity to architect. We constantly cultivate B2B2C interfaces. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! The reporting factor is granular. Think cyber-integrated. Quick: do you have a interactive plan of action for coping with new subscriber communities? We will engage the term "global". Without preplanned web services, virtual Total Quality Management are forced to become open-source. We here at Kolo believe we know that it is better to e-enable efficiently than to disintermediate ultra-extensibly. Think nano-micro-super-ubiquitous. We think we know that if you leverage wirelessly then you may also harness extensibly. We will iterate the capability of e-markets to utilize. Without preplanned partnerships, turn-key cross-platform, killer compliance are forced to become B2B. We think that most sexy web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough Unix. The subscriber-defined, granular web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "raw bandwidth" really mean? The ability to visualize virtually leads to the capacity to actualize virtually. Quick: do you have a extensible scheme for handling unplanned-for all-hands meetings? The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not sexy.