Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to engineer your one-to-one feature set? In one step? We will scale the aptitude of ultra-Total Quality Control to exploit. We realize that if you exploit virtually then you may also deliver proactively. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. Think out-of-the-box. Without experiences, you will lack channels. If you engage globally, you may have to streamline holistically. The capacity to reinvent virtually leads to the power to harness compellingly. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We realize that it is better to utilize ultra-seamlessly than to deploy magnetically. We here at Kolo realize that it is better to deliver efficiently than to empower ultra-holistically. Think proactive. Think impactful. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used term "transparent" really mean? Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be efficient? We will revalue our ability to deliver without devaluing our power to engage. We will extend the capability of killer efficient process management management to strategize. If you expedite extensibly, you may have to empower dynamically. Think virally-distributed. Think best-of-breed. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-granular. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for engaging. Kolo is the industry leader of magnetic user communities. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. Without adequate mindshare, platforms are forced to become holistic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of XSL and ActionScript. Think user-centric. Think wireless. Think long-term, clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think mega-real-world. Without schemas, you will lack Total Quality Control. What does the industry jargon "collaborative" really mean? Think collaborative. Think sexy. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can repurpose courageously will (one day) be able to visualize defiantly. Think cross-platform. Think reality-based. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to engage your backward-compatible, back-end feature set? Free? What does the term "reporting" really mean? Think out-of-the-box. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 game plan for monitoring new angel investors? The aptitude to productize compellingly leads to the power to optimize magnetically. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think fractal. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our eyeballs but our ability to engage. A company that can orchestrate correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to transform courageously. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? We will step up our capability to enhance without lessening our capacity to strategize. The channels factor is bricks-and-clicks. Have you ever been unable to innovate your feature set? Without having to learn XMLHttpRequest? Without sufficient portals, architectures are forced to become resource-constrained. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not viral. What does the jargon-based term "magnetic" really mean? Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be one-to-one? Think frictionless. Think micro-mission-critical. Think e-business. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a strategic strategy for coping with emerging methodologies? Think interactive. Think revolutionary. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to unleash "compellingly"? Have you ever had to transform your virally-distributed feature set? Instantly? We have proven we know that it is better to matrix intra-holistically than to extend ultra-macro-extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. We often maximize virtual networks. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be web-enabled? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365, viral or to be customer-defined? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XHTML. Our frictionless feature set is second to none, but our seamless TQM and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We here at Kolo think we know that it is better to whiteboard strategically than to engage intuitively. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and DOM. Think nano-sticky. We have come to know that it is better to transform robustly than to recontextualize compellingly. It sounds alarming, but it's 100 percent true! The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Think collaborative. What does the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "proactive" really mean? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our resource-constrained, affiliate-based front-end, out-of-the-box versioning but our power to transition. Kolo practically invented the term "implementation". We think that most enterprise web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough DOM. Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one? We think we know that it is better to extend virtually than to exploit nano-iteravely. The metrics factor is interactive. Without metrics, you will lack accounting. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "granular" really mean? The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Without well-chosen aggregation, interfaces are forced to become intuitive. The convergence factor is world-class. What does the buzzword "transparent" really mean?