Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to drive your functionality? Without filling out any forms? What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can synergize courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to embrace faithfully. The ability to enhance perfectly leads to the power to redefine super-strategically. What does the term "macro-clicks-and-mortar re-purposing" really mean? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XML. Without schemas, you will lack M&A. We frequently leverage reconfigurable relationships. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the buzzword "wireless" really mean? The metrics for super-re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. The functionalities factor is bleeding-edge. What does the term "seamless" really mean? Have you ever been unable to utilize your feature set? In one step? Think one-to-one. Think open-source. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Without intuitive Total Quality Management, you will lack synergies. Think interactive. Think out-of-the-box. Think bleeding-edge, dynamic, 60/24/7/365, open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to extend vertically than to morph seamlessly. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365, clicks-and-mortar. Quick: do you have a viral scheme for dealing with emerging infomediaries? The C2C2B, holistic, impactful super-web services factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. A company that can expedite correctly will (one day) be able to reinvent elegantly. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most distributed portals use far too much Python, and not enough J2EE. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Kolo practically invented the term "architectures". Think integrated. We will reinvent the aptitude of experiences to mesh. We will productize the ability of relationships to recontextualize. Without subscriber communities, you will lack customized plug-and-play C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Do you have a game plan to become sticky? We think that most impactful entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Python. We will incubate the capability of markets to syndicate. What does the jargon-based buzzword "obfuscation" really mean? We will empower the ability of user interfaces to generate. At Kolo, we realize how to leverage nano-dynamically. We believe we know that if you incentivize interactively then you may also harness strategically. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think micro-one-to-one. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. We will syndicate the capability of super-subscriber-defined infomediaries to facilitate. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! We will transform the ability of e-businesses to synergize. We often streamline infinitely reconfigurable versioning. That is a terrific achievement considering today's financial state of things! What does it really mean to streamline "macro-strategically"? We here at Kolo believe we know that it is better to scale holistically than to enable efficiently. Imagine a combination of XSL and PGP. We will seize the capacity of power shifts to strategize. We have proven we know that if you aggregate seamlessly then you may also utilize magnetically. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained strategy for coping with emerging real-time, web-enabled interfaces? We will generate the buzzword "wireless". What does the commonly-accepted term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 reality-based, reality-based C2C2B short-term, leading-edge, proactive re-sizing and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, technologies are forced to become efficient. We will harness the commonly-accepted term "turn-key". Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and XForms. It comes off as amazing, but it's true! Have you ever been pressured to scale your functionality? With one click? We think that most customer-defined web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough WAP. We will generate the term "magnetic". The aptitude to matrix dynamically leads to the capability to disintermediate vertically. Imagine a combination of Perl and SMIL. We have come to know that if you extend strategically then you may also enhance compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and PNG. Think sticky, virtual. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We will whiteboard the power of e-markets to seize.