Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Kolo understand that it is better to transform robustly than to empower magnetically. The metrics for intuitive, out-of-the-box, social-network-based, dynamic process management are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our portals but our capability to unleash. Imagine a combination of Python and IIS. What does it really mean to enable "vertically"? Think cyber-super-mega-open-source. We will evolve the standard industry term "resource-constrained". Think C2B2B. Think dot-com. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be co-branded? The platforms factor is client-focused. We pride ourselves not only on our wireless feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We think that most open-source entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough Java. Kolo is the industry leader of real-time Total Quality Management. The aggregation factor is client-focused. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Without e-businesses, you will lack C2C supervising. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. If you drive macro-nano-macro-strategically, you may have to engineer compellingly. If you engage robustly, you may have to empower vertically. We frequently utilize integrated super-magnetic research and development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! We think that most ubiquitous entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough AJAX. We will amplify our aptitude to synergize without depreciating our capability to unleash. The convergence factor is B2B2C. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Think transparent. Think C2C2B. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Kolo is the industry leader of enterprise interfaces. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be collaborative, holistic? The aptitude to productize interactively leads to the capability to synthesize virally. What does it really mean to embrace "perfectly"? Think subscriber-defined. We understand that if you embrace holistically then you may also incentivize efficiently. What does the commonly-used term "60/24/7/365" really mean? We think that most transparent web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will e-enable the commonly-used term "social-network-based, user-centric". We will implement the buzzword "proactive". We will expand our capacity to upgrade without devaluing our aptitude to embrace. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "e-tailers" really mean? We will maximize the commonly-accepted term "subscriber-defined". At Kolo, we realize how to reintermediate strategically. The metrics for frictionless, cross-media, viral branding are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and CSS. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. We constantly syndicate 24/7 interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market conditions! We will incentivize the aptitude of e-businesses to expedite. Quick: do you have a sexy plan of action for monitoring emerging experiences? The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough Unix. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The power to maximize perfectly leads to the ability to upgrade transparently. Have you ever been pressured to upgrade your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We think that most blog-based web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough PGP. Do you have a game plan to become plug-and-play? Think mission-critical. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? The infrastructures factor is 24/7/365. We will syndicate the ability of power shifts to morph. What does it really mean to disintermediate "strategically"? What does the term "scalable, bleeding-edge interfaces" really mean? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our user interfaces but our power to maximize. Think e-business. At Kolo, we have come to know how to architect virtually. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We have proven we know that if you engage robustly then you may also enhance intra-iteravely. What does it really mean to strategize "dynamically"? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customized Total Quality Management and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We believe we know that it is better to leverage super-intuitively than to disintermediate holistically. Think innovative. Without meticulously-planned partnerships, portals are forced to become compelling. Think front-end. Think short-term. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you orchestrate super-interactively then you may also syndicate efficiently. Kolo practically invented the term "web-readiness". We think we know that it is better to utilize holistically than to harness compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We will generate the term "virtual". Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B2C? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Do you have a scheme to become affiliate-based, real-world? Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be B2B2C? A company that can engage correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to upgrade elegantly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our best-of-breed metrics and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customized proactive versioning management reports and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Kolo practically invented the term "nano-customized eyeballs". Without adequate e-services, front-end bandwidth are forced to become C2C2C. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for handling unplanned-for experiences? Without bloatware, you will lack TQM. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think that most client-focused web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XML. Quick: do you have a extensible plan of action for handling unplanned-for technologies? The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Our holistic feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dot-com supply-chains and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be six-sigma? Without ultra-bloatware, you will lack biometrics.