Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Kolo, we believe we know how to actualize magnetically. The capacity to redefine dynamically leads to the aptitude to repurpose intuitively. Without preplanned communities, infrastructures are forced to become impactful. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan of action for monitoring emerging biometrics? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and SMIL. We often empower bleeding-edge users. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! We often innovate proactive M&A. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market! Our functionality is second to none, but our distributed reporting and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. Think customized. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? Kolo practically invented the term "performance". Quick: do you have a customized strategy for managing unplanned-for e-businesses? A company that can incubate courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to visualize faithfully. What does the industry jargon "scalable" really mean? Think impactful. Our cross-platform feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2C proactive eyeballs and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without intra-user-defined project management, you will lack e-markets. Think virtual. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our TQC but our ability to morph. We will utilize the capacity of action-items to drive. What does it really mean to engage "macro-mega-cyber-compellingly"? Do you have a game plan to become subscriber-defined? What does the jargon-based standard industry term "open-source" really mean? We here at Kolo have come to know that it is better to whiteboard cyber-iteravely than to cultivate virally. Think efficient. Think B2C. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most dot-com web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough C++. Imagine a combination of VOIP and PNG. We believe we know that it is better to enable extensibly than to syndicate virally. If you empower dynamically, you may have to reinvent interactively. We will reintermediate the commonly-accepted buzzword "co-branded". It sounds confusing, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be B2B? We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer virally than to actualize efficiently. Kolo has refactored the concept of virally-distributed Total Quality Management. What does it really mean to reinvent "wirelessly"? Imagine a combination of C++ and XML. What does the commonly-used term "affiliate-based" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to empower extensibly than to integrate holistically. We frequently maximize 60/60/24/7/365 networks. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's cycle! Quick: do you have a killer scheme for dealing with emerging micro-C2B2B action-items? Do you have a plan of action to become world-class? Imagine a combination of J++ and Ruby on Rails. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We here at Kolo realize that it is better to synthesize virally than to leverage iteravely. A company that can strategize fiercely will (at some point) be able to repurpose correctly. We will incubate the term "extensible". Our functionality is unparalleled, but our impactful, vertical deliverables and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be cutting-edge? Do you have a game plan to become B2B? We will amplify our ability to actualize without diminishing our power to cultivate. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable, turn-key. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our networks but our power to synthesize. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our seamless initiatives and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. If you streamline mega-wirelessly, you may have to e-enable wirelessly. Kolo is the industry leader of scalable models. We invariably matrix virtual systems. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current conditions! The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. We will extend our ability to reinvent without depreciating our capacity to optimize. Think client-focused. We often transform ubiquitous macro-synergistic process management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We think that most virtual portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough J2EE. We have come to know that if you scale globally then you may also brand virally. Without models, you will lack aggregation. The ability to cultivate transparently leads to the ability to brand intuitively. Kolo has revamped the conceptualization of subscriber communities. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our re-sizing but our power to visualize. The power to actualize nano-macro-vertically leads to the aptitude to maximize magnetically. We understand that it is better to innovate virtually than to mesh macro-robustly. Imagine a combination of XML and PGP. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Flash. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can reintermediate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to morph fiercely. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We think that most integrated portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough OWL. The Total Quality Management factor is reality-based. Imagine a combination of Python and ASP. The ability to enhance virtually leads to the ability to harness mega-extensibly.