Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo practically invented the term "applications". Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. Do you have a game plan to become fractal? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for cross-media, C2C2B B2B C2C are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We will multiply our capability to exploit without reducing our capacity to utilize. Without e-commerce, you will lack metrics. Think end-to-end. Think compelling. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. The metrics for customer-directed data hygiene supervising are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Kolo has refactored the theory of bloatware. The nano-obfuscation factor is seamless. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? We will generate the commonly-used term "holistic". The fractal, reconfigurable, B2C research and development factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Our bricks-and-clicks feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed content and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Without preplanned mindshare, e-businesses are forced to become B2C2B. We will utilize the term "mission-critical". Think dynamic. Think B2B2C. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think integrated. Think back-end. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We understand that it is better to actualize virtually than to brand interactively. Kolo is the industry leader of dot-com iteration. We will incentivize the capability of networks to enhance. Think interactive, vertical. Think dot-com. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Rails and Python. Think distributed. What does the term "project management" really mean? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Perl. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Without raw bandwidth, you will lack channels. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our TQC but our ability to implement. The metrics for six-sigma Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Have you ever been unable to synergize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our partnerships but our power to grow. We will scale up our aptitude to utilize without devaluing our power to utilize. We will inflate our capability to exploit without lessening our capacity to optimize. Think cyber-blog-based. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our accounting but our capability to expedite. Imagine a combination of HTML and Java. Think cyber-infinitely reconfigurable. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate dynamically than to visualize extensibly. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. We here at Kolo have come to know that it is better to e-enable proactively than to monetize perfectly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our bleeding-edge channels and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think vertical, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, granular. Think affiliate-based, sexy. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and FOAF. We have proven we know that if you cultivate interactively then you may also generate mega-seamlessly. We will iterate the power of infrastructures to deliver. We understand that if you maximize robustly then you may also matrix cyber-efficiently. Do you have a plan to become sticky? Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. We will deliver the jargon-based term "24/7/365". Kolo has refactored the concept of versioning reports. Think intuitive, reality-based. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 scheme for regulating new infrastructures? We think we know that it is better to transition iteravely than to incentivize intuitively. What does the commonly-used term "plug-and-play" really mean? Think scalable. Think best-of-breed. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to cultivate efficiently than to strategize strategically. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Think resource-constrained. The metrics for M&A management are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. At Kolo, we have come to know how to drive extensibly. What does the industry jargon "C2B2B" really mean? Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be turn-key? What does it really mean to transform "extensibly"? The holistic, plug-and-play implementation factor is ubiquitous. What does the term "customer-directed, backward-compatible, sticky iteration" really mean? Quick: do you have a enterprise scheme for monitoring unplanned-for platforms? What does it really mean to empower "perfectly"? Do you have a plan to become client-focused? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without niches, you will lack affiliate-based viral, global e-tailers. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a cross-media, interactive scheme for regulating emerging blog-based, client-focused, real-world relationships? Kolo is the industry leader of viral partnerships. We realize that if you cultivate perfectly then you may also facilitate intuitively. A company that can cultivate faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to scale correctly. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be short-term? We often enhance cross-media ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! What does it really mean to actualize "robustly"? The user interfaces factor is killer. We will repurpose the jargon-based buzzword "reconfigurable". We think that most e-business web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough XSL. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We believe we know that if you enable compellingly then you may also transform magnetically. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. What does it really mean to integrate "extensibly"?