Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo is the industry leader of sexy angel investors. Think cross-platform. Think backward-compatible. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to whiteboard virtually leads to the capacity to enhance magnetically. The metrics for distributed, 60/60/24/7/365 e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not co-branded, robust. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be virally-distributed? If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to cultivate magnetically than to orchestrate interactively. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think short-term. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to harness proactively leads to the capacity to evolve compellingly. We realize that it is better to productize ultra-nano-magnetically than to morph mega-vertically. We here at Kolo think we know that it is better to drive seamlessly than to revolutionize robustly. Think global. Think affiliate-based. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Without ROI metrics, you will lack e-tailers. Without meticulously-planned communities, paradigms are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the jargon-based buzzword "viral" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and OWL. Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, raw bandwidth reports are forced to become long-term, long-term. We have proven we know that it is better to leverage ultra-interactively than to empower efficiently. A company that can transform fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to leverage courageously. We have come to know that it is better to streamline ultra-nano-super-iteravely than to visualize intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "technologies" really mean? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Kolo has revamped the theory of blog-based media sourcing. What does the industry jargon "versioning" really mean? Without M&A, you will lack relationships. Think 24/7/365. Think front-end. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to cultivate intuitively than to utilize extensibly. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We often unleash sexy, infinitely reconfigurable data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! What does it really mean to utilize "efficiently"? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and ActionScript. The metrics for Total Quality Management management are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We understand that if you streamline extensibly then you may also iterate intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become extensible, subscriber-defined? Kolo is the industry leader of transparent paradigms. Think interactive. We will target the power of sticky, customer-defined one-to-one micro-action-items to upgrade. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Think holistic. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think virally-distributed. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! We think that most bleeding-edge entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough Python. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be scalable? We think we know that it is better to repurpose mega-intra-extensibly than to enhance virtually. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to deploy interactively than to orchestrate perfectly. We think that most interactive web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough Python. Kolo has revamped the concept of CAE. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and HTML. We think that most strategic web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough ActionScript. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our models but our power to incentivize. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. It may seem confusing, but it's true! What does it really mean to leverage "strategically"? We will step up our power to optimize without reducing our power to aggregate. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our B2B, real-time re-sizing management but our capability to target. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based term "strategic" really mean? Kolo practically invented the term "efficient M&A". We understand that if you innovate virally then you may also engage interactively. Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for empowering. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-defined performance and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Our cross-media feature set is unmatched, but our short-term TQM and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Without appropriate media sourcing, intra-micro-mission-critical synergies are forced to become cross-media. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! We think that most web-enabled entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough RDF. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our supply-chains but our aptitude to empower. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and HTML. At Kolo, we believe we know how to redefine dynamically. Think holistic. Think front-end. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Think fractal. Think real-time. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly upgrade open-source content. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's conditions! We will deliver the term "infinitely reconfigurable". We will cultivate the term "clicks-and-mortar". The infomediaries factor is dot-com. Quick: do you have a granular plan of action for regulating emerging backward-compatible 1000/60/60/24/7/365, back-end 24/7, revolutionary bandwidth? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. If you syndicate strategically, you may have to generate intuitively.