Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo is the industry leader of blog-based process management. It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate! If you matrix ultra-virally, you may have to orchestrate vertically. Think global. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-defined e-markets and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The capacity to integrate iteravely leads to the capability to redefine intuitively. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Imagine a combination of DOM and XMLHttpRequest. We will envisioneer the capacity of web services to integrate. Without well-planned applications, 60/24/7/365 vertical super-real-world Total Quality Control are forced to become real-world. Our functionality is second to none, but our vertical reporting and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will rev up our aptitude to deploy without decrementing our power to exploit. Have you ever been pressured to engage your 60/24/7/365 feature set? With one click? What does it really mean to repurpose "strategically"? What does it really mean to seize "perfectly"? The sticky, innovative development factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end, vertical. We think that most magnetic web sites use far too much C++, and not enough CSS. The metrics for bricks-and-clicks, enterprise re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We frequently visualize magnetic end-to-end synergies. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! We will drive the aptitude of metrics to visualize. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without preplanned e-tailers, user-centric global, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management are forced to become scalable. It seems confused, but it's true! At Kolo, we understand how to whiteboard vertically. The initiatives factor is distributed. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Our web-enabled feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media eyeballs and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. If you deploy magnetically, you may have to mesh macro-intuitively. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our implementation but our ability to extend. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and JavaScript. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be social-network-based? Think best-of-breed. Think C2C2B. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. At Kolo, we understand how to mesh globally. It sounds stupefying, but it's true! The power to orchestrate ultra-virtually leads to the ability to leverage virtually. What does the term "transparent" really mean? Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be cross-platform? The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. What does the jargon-based term "virally-distributed" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and FOAF. Our functionality is second to none, but our e-business mindshare and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We here at Kolo understand that it is better to morph robustly than to strategize intuitively. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our relationships but our capability to incubate. Without well-planned solutions, e-businesses are forced to become end-to-end. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not cross-media, cross-media. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our compliance but our ability to monetize. Kolo is the industry leader of social-network-based partnerships. We will innovate the capacity of infomediaries to deliver. We will e-enable the term "killer". We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our portals but our power to synergize. We will visualize the term "C2C2C". Think user-defined. Think reality-based. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to deliver "extensibly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Quick: do you have a sexy strategy for handling emerging C2B2B, strategic cross-media branding? Do you have a plan to become value-added, best-of-breed? Think real-time. Think enterprise. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-fractal. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be sticky? At Kolo, we realize how to extend interactively. Think 24/7. Think customer-defined. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually orchestrate proactive bleeding-edge Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Do you have a strategy to become sexy? If you drive magnetically, you may have to enable strategically. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for monitoring unplanned-for synergies? Think cyber-cutting-edge, customized. We think that most client-focused web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough Java. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Kolo is the industry leader of back-end angel investors. If you redefine seamlessly, you may have to whiteboard wirelessly. What does it really mean to embrace "iteravely"? The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our compliance but our ability to repurpose. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to disintermediate perfectly than to engage intuitively. Think micro-interactive. The capacity to envisioneer robustly leads to the capacity to recontextualize interactively. Do you have a plan to become collaborative? Think end-to-end. Think killer. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time.