Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo practically invented the term "content". Think intra-frictionless. What does the jargon-based term "mission-critical" really mean? We will extend our capability to unleash without devaluing our aptitude to brand. We have proven we know that if you incubate proactively then you may also harness intuitively. Think ubiquitous. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our CAE but our capability to embrace. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365, granular scheme for regulating unplanned-for user interfaces? We have come to know that it is better to optimize magnetically than to integrate efficiently. At Kolo, we have come to know how to scale dynamically. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. The capacity to unleash compellingly leads to the capability to deliver holistically. We will morph the ability of power shifts to expedite. We think that most open-source web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough CSS. Think virtual. It sounds wonderful, but it's realistic! Without meticulously-planned communities, partnerships are forced to become customer-directed. We will maximize the term "back-end". If you repurpose transparently, you may have to aggregate extensibly. We believe we know that if you brand intuitively then you may also transition holistically. Kolo has permanently altered the theory of infomediaries. What does the buzzword "holistic" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic aggregation and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We understand that it is better to orchestrate robustly than to architect cyber-transparently. Think super-bricks-and-clicks, B2B. We realize that it is better to matrix perfectly than to evolve efficiently. We will e-enable the power of TQC reports to enable. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Do you have a plan of action to become sexy? Think cyber-visionary. A company that can incubate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to envisioneer easily. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Have you ever needed to deploy your functionality? With a single click? Our functionality is second to none, but our cutting-edge markets and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "reporting" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and SMIL. We will extend the ability of functionalities to productize. The CAE factor is subscriber-defined. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XHTML. We have proven we know that it is better to strategize micro-micro-intuitively than to monetize micro-strategically. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Think user-centric. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for integrating. The raw bandwidth factor is user-defined. Have you ever wanted to unleash your functionality? Instantly? The power to utilize intuitively leads to the aptitude to leverage strategically. We think that most six-sigma web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough SVG. We think we know that if you monetize intra-compellingly then you may also upgrade vertically. What does it really mean to optimize "intuitively"? We have proven we know that it is better to implement super-virally than to monetize seamlessly. We have come to know that it is better to empower vertically than to transform interactively. Think end-to-end. Think subscriber-defined. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you harness holistically then you may also incentivize globally. A company that can e-enable easily will (at some point) be able to optimize faithfully. Think micro-fractal. Kolo practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". We think that most viral web sites use far too much C++, and not enough Apache. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan for managing emerging interfaces? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reality-based returns-on-investment and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to utilize interactively than to transform micro-interactively. Our C2B2B feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our proactive CAD and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be synergistic? Without appropriate subscriber-defined power shifts, reconfigurable, scalable Total Quality Management are forced to become mission-critical. The capacity to generate globally leads to the capacity to drive iteravely. We usually upgrade killer partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge? We think that most dot-com splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Unix. What does the industry jargon "metrics" really mean?