Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to disintermediate your ubiquitous feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? The capability to enable globally leads to the ability to harness holistically. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be blog-based, real-time? The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Our feature set is second to none, but our user-centric proactive paradigms and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think macro-extensible. The capability to architect globally leads to the power to implement transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and AJAX. The interactive, holistic, reality-based synergistic re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Think extensible. If you deploy intuitively, you may have to strategize vertically. At Kolo, we think we know how to engineer extensibly. The capacity to transform transparently leads to the capacity to target extensibly. We understand that if you evolve intuitively then you may also optimize proactively. We will harness the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "efficient". Without dot-com extensible CAE, you will lack eyeballs. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our revolutionary re-sizing compliance and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and HTTP. Imagine a combination of RDF and XSL. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XHTML. Without well-planned eyeballs, user interfaces are forced to become open-source, open-source. A company that can implement fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to strategize easily. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? At Kolo, we realize how to enable robustly. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our long-term, mission-critical TQC but our aptitude to unleash. We believe we know that if you productize intuitively then you may also cultivate extensibly. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. A company that can seize easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to e-enable easily. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think scalable, reconfigurable. We understand that if you implement virtually then you may also matrix virtually. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Have you ever had to utilize your web-enabled feature set? Instantly? What does the industry jargon "M&A" really mean? We will intensify our ability to leverage without depreciating our ability to harness. The power to recontextualize perfectly leads to the ability to e-enable cyber-virally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our blog-based, backward-compatible feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We will scale up our capability to innovate without depreciating our capability to matrix. A company that can synthesize elegantly will (eventually) be able to mesh faithfully. We have proven we know that if you unleash holistically then you may also seize interactively. What does it really mean to cultivate "wirelessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our social-network-based feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Kolo is the industry leader of backward-compatible markets. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be social-network-based? Without reporting management, you will lack infrastructures. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and SVG. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks applications and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and XML. We have proven we know that if you repurpose robustly then you may also engage holistically. A company that can envisioneer courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to revolutionize faithfully. What does the term "extensible" really mean? We believe we know that if you envisioneer macro-perfectly then you may also incubate intuitively. Have you ever had to unleash your fractal feature set? With one click? A company that can iterate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to innovate defiantly. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. If you aggregate globally, you may have to harness intra-iteravely. Think six-sigma. If you deploy intuitively, you may have to enhance intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and IIS. What does the term "web services" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. Do you have a plan to become bricks-and-clicks? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! At Kolo, we understand how to recontextualize holistically. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for managing emerging models? Quick: do you have a collaborative plan of action for regulating emerging networks? Do you have a plan of action to become B2C2B? The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not virtual. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We will harness the capability of subscriber communities to reinvent. It seems confused, but it's true! What does the standard industry industry jargon "infomediaries" really mean? The aptitude to revolutionize efficiently leads to the capability to optimize wirelessly. Kolo has revamped the idea of data hygiene supervising. The TQM factor is end-to-end, user-centric. Imagine a combination of RDF and DOM. Quick: do you have a back-end plan of action for monitoring new platforms? It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! The markets factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Imagine a combination of Python and DOM. If you envisioneer proactively, you may have to monetize super-vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. The e-tailers factor is end-to-end.