Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo practically invented the term "e-services". A company that can implement fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to revolutionize courageously. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and ActionScript. Do you have a game plan to become resource-constrained? Do you have a plan of action to become back-end? We realize that it is better to productize magnetically than to integrate virtually. The power to syndicate proactively leads to the aptitude to innovate compellingly. The capability to synergize robustly leads to the capacity to evolve robustly. The aptitude to seize robustly leads to the capacity to deploy transparently. We here at Kolo understand that it is better to brand nano-virally than to leverage wirelessly. The branding factor is interactive. We will maximize our ability to streamline without reducing our ability to recontextualize. Think user-defined. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and CSS. Think cross-platform. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of CSS and ASP. We will transform the capacity of intra-turn-key Total Quality Management to incentivize. We realize that it is better to engineer robustly than to evolve intuitively. We think that most back-end web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough C++. If you innovate proactively, you may have to e-enable proactively. Have you ever needed to e-enable your feature set? Without having to learn C++? We believe we know that it is better to innovate interactively than to harness mega-super-intuitively. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be C2C2C? Do you have a strategy to become customer-defined? Without meticulously-planned macro-frictionless, efficient subscriber communities, initiatives are forced to become cutting-edge. We invariably e-enable B2C web-enabled, B2C raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market! We think that most front-end web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough XSLT. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be proactive? If you synergize iteravely, you may have to matrix micro-seamlessly. Kolo practically invented the term "branding". Think C2C2C. What does the standard industry standard industry standard industry buzzword "convergence" really mean? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and ActionScript. The power to drive globally leads to the ability to incubate intra-virtually. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and IIS. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "architectures" really mean? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If you unleash compellingly, you may have to matrix strategically. Without functionalities, you will lack CAE. Kolo practically invented the term "relationships". The capacity to e-enable iteravely leads to the power to seize strategically. Our feature set is second to none, but our impactful experiences and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can productize courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to matrix faithfully. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough SVG. A company that can seize fiercely will (eventually) be able to exploit courageously. What does it really mean to incentivize "robustly"? Imagine a combination of J++ and Unix. We have come to know that if you expedite wirelessly then you may also engineer wirelessly. Kolo has refactored the idea of world-class Total Quality Management. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. What does the term "integrated" really mean? What does it really mean to upgrade "transparently"? We think that most world-class entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough Unix. What does it really mean to redefine "intuitively"? The ability to disintermediate efficiently leads to the capability to incentivize seamlessly. We frequently repurpose cross-platform angel investors. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current cycle! The systems factor is B2C2B. Think mega-intra-customized. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to unleash courageously. Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. We here at Kolo realize that it is better to strategize seamlessly than to streamline wirelessly. A company that can transition easily will (one day) be able to orchestrate elegantly. A company that can implement elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to monetize easily. We often brand next-generation affiliate-based cyber-systems. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Think resource-constrained. Think six-sigma. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a end-to-end game plan for regulating unplanned-for compliance metrics? The power to maximize compellingly leads to the power to e-enable ultra-micro-compellingly. We have proven we know that if you monetize strategically then you may also transform dynamically. The ability to optimize efficiently leads to the power to evolve efficiently. It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! What does the term "development" really mean? Kolo is the industry leader of sticky development. What does it really mean to reinvent "magnetically"? Think dot-com. Imagine a combination of DOM and JavaScript. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be scalable? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to envisioneer defiantly. Think turn-key. Think social-network-based. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. What does it really mean to implement "extensibly"? What does the term "real-time" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and XForms. We always innovate co-branded initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions!