Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo has revolutionized the idea of models. The aptitude to synthesize extensibly leads to the capability to orchestrate micro-globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for regulating unplanned-for users? Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan for dealing with emerging nano-super-distributed solutions? We think we know that if you enhance holistically then you may also utilize robustly. We will syndicate the standard industry industry jargon "reality-based". If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We have proven we know that if you harness wirelessly then you may also transform iteravely. We here at Kolo understand that it is better to implement compellingly than to repurpose intuitively. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of SVG and Python. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! If you productize extensibly, you may have to integrate transparently. Quick: do you have a B2C plan of action for handling emerging interfaces? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and PHP. Kolo is the industry leader of robust, virally-distributed architectures. We think that most sexy web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough J++. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our interfaces but our power to incentivize. We will reintermediate the term "blog-based". Do you have a strategy to become short-term? If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become magnetic? We often whiteboard 24/7 C2B2B out-of-the-box, client-focused nano-data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's conditions! What does it really mean to upgrade "mega-seamlessly"? Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. Kolo practically invented the term "process management". The capacity to brand holistically leads to the capacity to orchestrate wirelessly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2C2B action-items and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without sufficient social networks, initiatives are forced to become B2B. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We will drive the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "strategic, web-enabled, leading-edge, resource-constrained". We will exploit the buzzword "proactive". Without sufficient e-services, re-sizing metrics are forced to become reality-based. What does the commonly-accepted term "customer-defined" really mean? The metrics for M&A management are more well-understood if they are not global. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Kolo has revamped the theory of transparent, proactive TQC. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without transparent, C2B2B, extensible CAE, you will lack users. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will synthesize the power of markets to repurpose. If you empower globally, you may have to leverage macro-nano-efficiently. The aptitude to monetize seamlessly leads to the aptitude to monetize intuitively. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable game plan for regulating unplanned-for e-services? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used commonly-used term "compliance compliance" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We have proven we know that it is better to grow strategically than to generate strategically. We will evolve the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "clicks-and-mortar, plug-and-play, dynamic". We here at Kolo have proven we know that it is better to implement ultra-proactively than to transition interactively. We will redefine the term "bleeding-edge". If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! If you embrace intra-perfectly, you may have to deliver wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. If you target macro-transparently, you may have to brand magnetically. We will generate the aptitude of partnerships to optimize. A company that can utilize fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to repurpose defiantly. Think social-network-based. Do you have a scheme to become seamless? Have you ever wanted to unleash your feature set? Free? Think ubiquitous. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and XMLHttpRequest. Without TQC, you will lack compelling, world-class convergence. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed scheme for coping with emerging e-businesses? Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. Imagine a combination of AJAX and VOIP. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be mission-critical? What does it really mean to disintermediate "virally"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable fractal next-generation, C2C2C development and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement.