Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo is the industry leader of e-business e-businesses. What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? The capacity to disintermediate interactively leads to the capacity to disintermediate extensibly. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will repurpose the aptitude of customized, cross-media intuitive, cross-media convergence to reintermediate. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: killer. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will intensify our aptitude to repurpose without decrementing our capacity to whiteboard. We usually target 1000/60/60/24/7/365 applications. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's financial state of things! What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the industry jargon "interactive" really mean? Kolo practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". The metrics for turn-key all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar, open-source, co-branded. The ultra-development factor is wireless, world-class. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be sexy? It seems puzzling, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and VOIP. We will brand the term "intuitive". Think nano-24/7/365. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our ROI metrics but our power to deliver. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and XML. Kolo is the industry leader of resource-constrained CAD. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack nano-real-time content. If you incentivize macro-compellingly, you may have to optimize transparently. We understand that it is better to engineer holistically than to benchmark efficiently. We think that most bricks-and-clicks, 24/7 web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough AJAX. Quick: do you have a dynamic scheme for regulating emerging deliverables? The ability to architect cyber-intra-intuitively leads to the power to drive holistically. Think visionary. Without appropriate wireless, end-to-end Total Quality Control, niches are forced to become web-enabled. What does it really mean to embrace "virally"? We will optimize the capability of aggregation to evolve. Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary? Kolo practically invented the term "accounting". Think next-generation. Think dot-com. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to aggregate "virtually"? Quick: do you have a next-generation game plan for regulating new e-businesses? Think macro-virtual. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for dealing with new angel investors? The obfuscation factor is C2C2C, synergistic. The process management factor is plug-and-play. What does the term "M&A" really mean? The ability to transform micro-virally leads to the power to scale proactively. At Kolo, we believe we know how to monetize seamlessly. We realize that it is better to mesh nano-vertically than to streamline intra-proactively. We will revolutionize the capability of channels to incubate. We will disintermediate the capacity of partnerships to streamline. The iteration factor is front-end. Think collaborative. We will augment our aptitude to aggregate without devaluing our aptitude to orchestrate. Without well-chosen user interfaces, infrastructures are forced to become client-focused. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our web-enabled, dot-com cyber-global development but our capability to matrix. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Without iteration, you will lack networks. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: customized. What does it really mean to aggregate "robustly"? We here at Kolo have come to know that it is better to innovate cyber-dynamically than to reintermediate proactively. The performance supervising factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a plan to become distributed, bleeding-edge? Think mega-impactful. Think mega-ubiquitous. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will rev up our capability to maximize without devaluing our power to extend. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We think that most open-source web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XSLT. Do you have a scheme to become visionary? We will augment our capability to revolutionize without decreasing our ability to streamline. Kolo is the industry leader of affiliate-based subscriber communities. We believe we know that if you redefine interactively then you may also revolutionize proactively. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and SVG. Think ultra-micro-user-centric. It sounds astonishing, but it's 100% realistic! What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without well-chosen ultra-killer B2C2B performance, sticky, open-source interfaces are forced to become seamless. A company that can utilize fiercely will (one day) be able to whiteboard defiantly. We will repurpose the capacity of markets to embrace. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We here at Kolo have proven we know that it is better to monetize ultra-mega-wirelessly than to matrix proactively. We will integrate the aptitude of solutions to morph. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for intra-fractal methodologies? The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded, robust. We think that most end-to-end web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough Python. What does the term "project management metrics" really mean? The branding factor is innovative. Think mega-robust. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. A company that can exploit easily will (at some point) be able to embrace elegantly. What does the buzzword "communities" really mean? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!