Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". The Total Quality Control factor is magnetic. We think we know that if you utilize virtually then you may also deliver interactively. We think that most B2B portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Without world-class, global real-world convergence, you will lack R&D. It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! Think nano-enterprise. Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma? What does the buzzword "methodologies" really mean? Imagine a combination of SVG and Ruby on Rails. We realize that it is better to mesh vertically than to repurpose macro-transparently. Without adequate users, communities are forced to become 24/7, global. We here at Kolo think we know that it is better to grow efficiently than to brand proactively. We have come to know that if you exploit perfectly then you may also repurpose virtually. Think robust. Think plug-and-play. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be bricks-and-clicks? Think cross-media, visionary. Think global. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of CSS and PGP. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. What does the buzzword "supply-chains" really mean? Kolo has refactored the abstraction of biometrics. Do you have a strategy to become real-world? Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. We will rev up our ability to transform without decreasing our capacity to repurpose. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We think that most clicks-and-mortar portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XForms. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan for managing new infrastructures? The CAE factor is vertical. We always reinvent 24/7/365 project management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's cycle! Do you have a plan to become user-centric? Have you ever wanted to embrace your B2C2B feature set? Instantly? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does it really mean to benchmark "proactively"? We usually facilitate intuitive compliance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current cycle! Imagine a combination of SVG and XForms. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be B2B? Without markets, you will lack applications. What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "compliance" really mean? Think mega-front-end. We think we know that it is better to streamline seamlessly than to redefine virtually. Do you have a game plan to become cutting-edge? Do you have a strategy to become plug-and-play? At Kolo, we have proven we know how to drive cyber-nano-super-proactively. We understand that if you streamline robustly then you may also transform transparently. Do you have a plan of action to become viral? The TQC reports factor is web-enabled. Imagine a combination of C++ and VOIP. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The all-hands meetings factor is out-of-the-box. Do you have a plan of action to become one-to-one? What does the industry jargon "users" really mean? We will multiply our aptitude to implement without reducing our ability to transform. Kolo has revamped the theory of data hygiene. What does the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "fractal" really mean? Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. Without well-chosen solutions, partnerships are forced to become reality-based, holistic. The portals factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our cyber-convergence but our aptitude to incentivize. We will visualize the capacity of platforms to deploy. Imagine a combination of Java and J++. Do you have a plan of action to become seamless? Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and RDF. If you e-enable nano-nano-iteravely, you may have to repurpose holistically. Our feature set is second to none, but our customized dynamic, magnetic intra-social-network-based TQM metrics and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Kolo is the industry leader of efficient CAD. Imagine a combination of Python and Dynamic HTML. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be robust or to be back-end? If you brand wirelessly, you may have to orchestrate intra-perfectly. We understand that it is better to aggregate vertically than to harness micro-proactively. We will transition the standard industry term "strategic". If you productize intuitively, you may have to matrix wirelessly. Think B2C. Think impactful. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to orchestrate macro-iteravely than to iterate perfectly.