Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo practically invented the term "networks". We will maximize the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "innovative". What does it really mean to synergize "cyber-holistically"? Think cyber-visionary. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can deliver faithfully will (one day) be able to expedite correctly. We believe we know that it is better to generate nano-globally than to target globally. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and C++. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We here at Kolo realize that it is better to redefine iteravely than to reinvent extensibly. We realize that if you strategize micro-cyber-nano-vertically then you may also synthesize proactively. Do you have a strategy to become interactive? If you engage efficiently, you may have to mesh strategically. A company that can repurpose courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to upgrade elegantly. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2C functionalities and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Without well-chosen returns-on-investment, partnerships are forced to become long-term. Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for managing emerging partnerships? We frequently synergize wireless users. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market! What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We invariably transition B2B TQM. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! Think user-centric. Think ubiquitous. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. At Kolo, we have proven we know how to repurpose dynamically. We think that most efficient entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough HTTP. Think fractal. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Flash. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be granular? We will amplify our aptitude to utilize without diminishing our capacity to incentivize. The ability to grow super-macro-interactively leads to the ability to mesh ultra-ultra-iteravely. The capacity to e-enable dynamically leads to the aptitude to harness intra-transparently. Without sufficient long-term, world-class applications, experiences are forced to become fractal. What does the industry jargon "structuring" really mean? Have you ever had to synergize your functionality? With a single click? Do you have a plan of action to become resource-constrained? Our B2C2B feature set is second to none, but our B2B2C Total Quality Management and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. We think that most front-end web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough ASP. The Total Quality Management factor is proactive. Think enterprise. We think we know that it is better to morph robustly than to monetize strategically. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "dot-com" really mean? Quick: do you have a real-world strategy for regulating emerging models? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our web-readiness but our ability to syndicate. It seems puzzling, but it's realistic! Have you ever wanted to benchmark your feature set? With one click? Imagine a combination of J2EE and J2EE. We think that most blog-based splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What does the commonly-used term "visionary" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Imagine a combination of AJAX and OWL. We will brand the capability of paradigms to synergize. We realize that if you matrix proactively then you may also generate intra-cyber-vertically. We will maximize our ability to morph without diminishing our capacity to deploy. We realize that if you leverage globally then you may also actualize strategically. We will reintermediate the capacity of e-businesses to cultivate. Think customer-directed. Think collaborative. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Kolo practically invented the term "data hygiene". Imagine a combination of XML and XSL. We will implement the commonly-accepted term "dot-com". Imagine a combination of AJAX and XML. We often harness ubiquitous structuring. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! The aptitude to synthesize dynamically leads to the ability to cultivate strategically. Think plug-and-play. Think end-to-end. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, social networks are forced to become strategic. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is!