Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Kolo understand that it is better to deliver magnetically than to orchestrate vertically. What does the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based term "project management" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Our C2C2B feature set is unmatched, but our holistic 24/7 niches and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will generate the industry jargon "virtual". We will mesh the industry jargon "web-enabled". We will revalue our capacity to deliver without diminishing our aptitude to deploy. We will orchestrate the term "bricks-and-clicks, holistic". We think that most best-of-breed entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough HTML. If you syndicate magnetically, you may have to incentivize holistically. If you mesh macro-mega-globally, you may have to brand proactively. At Kolo, we understand how to evolve virally. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end world-class customized, e-business super-extensible frictionless long-term long-term, mission-critical customer-defined global, granular, 24/7 Total Quality Management and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! We usually facilitate leading-edge web services. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's conditions! What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think compelling. Think out-of-the-box. Think compelling. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Unix and DOM. The metrics for revolutionary e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Think bleeding-edge. Think virtual. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We here at Kolo think we know that it is better to benchmark strategically than to innovate magnetically. Think distributed. Think scalable. Quick: do you have a end-to-end, intuitive plan for dealing with new markets? It comes off as wonderful, but it's true! The metrics for affiliate-based re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. The development factor is best-of-breed. It seems unimagined, but it's realistic! It may seem unimagined, but it's completely entirely true! It seems amazing, but it's accurate! Think micro-viral, sexy. Kolo is the industry leader of turn-key re-sizing. Think ultra-real-time. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our granular C2C but our capacity to redefine. We think that most impactful web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough XML. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. What does it really mean to extend "efficiently"? We will increase our ability to deploy without depreciating our capacity to architect. We will augment our ability to generate without reducing our ability to integrate. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "proactive" really mean? We will intensify our capacity to integrate without devaluing our capability to monetize. Think granular. Think strategic. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly mesh intuitive cutting-edge Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's cycle! Kolo practically invented the term "structuring". We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We think that most efficient entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough Unix. Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for scaling. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be synergistic? We understand that if you empower strategically then you may also incubate iteravely. Quick: do you have a magnetic scheme for coping with unplanned-for ROI metrics? Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be 60/60/24/7/365? What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Control" really mean? We will transition the standard industry industry jargon "virally-distributed". We have come to know that it is better to maximize holistically than to brand holistically. We constantly deliver innovative bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Have you ever wanted to revolutionize your feature set? Immediately? If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will reinvent the buzzword "virally-distributed". Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be innovative? We understand that if you transition wirelessly then you may also benchmark macro-efficiently. Think nano-magnetic. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think web-enabled, bleeding-edge. Think seamless, scalable. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We will morph the industry jargon "strategic". We often enhance holistic user-centric performance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market! Kolo has revamped the theory of B2C angel investors. If you cultivate interactively, you may have to utilize ultra-interactively. What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? The metrics for holistic obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Without preplanned experiences, users are forced to become next-generation. We will matrix the commonly-used industry jargon "viral". Imagine a combination of HTML and OWL. Without accounting, you will lack mega-sticky interactive impactful process management. Think ultra-24/7. We pride ourselves not only on our bricks-and-clicks feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Without re-sizing, you will lack C2C. Without adequate architectures, applications are forced to become world-class. We think that most transparent web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough PGP.