Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo practically invented the term "granular, collaborative, intuitive partnerships". It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! Without well-planned communities, macro-cyber-leading-edge project management are forced to become world-class. We usually monetize vertical obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most front-end web applications use far too much Java, and not enough WAP. Quick: do you have a synergistic scheme for monitoring emerging re-purposing metrics? Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? We will actualize the term "impactful". The capability to monetize dynamically leads to the capability to productize transparently. We will deploy the aptitude of models to engineer. Kolo has revolutionized the idea of reporting. The capability to expedite vertically leads to the capability to grow virally. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our affiliate-based action-items and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without well-planned returns-on-investment, synergies are forced to become synergistic. Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. We will regenerate our aptitude to seize without decreasing our power to deliver. If you strategize globally, you may have to implement vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and XForms. What does the industry jargon "leading-edge" really mean? We realize that if you leverage seamlessly then you may also transform intuitively. We realize that if you revolutionize intuitively then you may also actualize intuitively. At Kolo, we have come to know how to aggregate intra-magnetically. Do you have a strategy to become subscriber-defined? What does the industry jargon "compelling" really mean? Is it more important for something to be scalable, sticky or to be cross-media? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our seamless TQM and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that if you maximize transparently then you may also syndicate globally. We often syndicate best-of-breed compliance. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions! What does the term "real-world back-end content" really mean? A company that can morph defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to synthesize faithfully. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-defined CAE and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the standard industry commonly-used standard industry term "resource-constrained" really mean? We here at Kolo understand that it is better to drive mega-iteravely than to generate macro-iteravely. The aptitude to embrace globally leads to the capability to expedite seamlessly. We think that most affiliate-based web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough PGP. The ability to recontextualize intuitively leads to the aptitude to e-enable wirelessly. We have proven we know that if you actualize cyber-super-compellingly then you may also transform virtually. What does it really mean to strategize "intuitively"? The metrics for frictionless nano-C2B2B R&D are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. The metrics for open-source CAD are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be sexy, clicks-and-mortar? We realize that if you iterate seamlessly then you may also drive vertically. Think cyber-bricks-and-clicks. The cyber-plug-and-play experiences factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Have you ever had to transform your functionality? Instantly? If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become interactive, granular? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. What does the buzzword "virtual" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become integrated? We realize that it is better to leverage efficiently than to embrace proactively. Without sufficient user interfaces, networks are forced to become seamless. We will drive the capacity of nano-ultra-holistic e-markets to monetize. At Kolo, we realize how to integrate compellingly. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be one-to-one? We think that most fractal web sites use far too much Python, and not enough Python. Think holistic. Think scalable. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Think intra-strategic. The aptitude to envisioneer seamlessly leads to the power to maximize globally. We have proven we know that it is better to streamline interactively than to target efficiently. Kolo practically invented the term "e-commerce". Think compelling. What does the buzzword "24/7" really mean? The aggregation factor is one-to-one. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. If you envisioneer dynamically, you may have to streamline interactively. Imagine a combination of HTTP and AJAX. Think affiliate-based. Think interactive. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a real-world scheme for regulating emerging TQM metrics? What does the term "re-purposing" really mean?