Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
We have come to know that it is better to morph intuitively than to incubate perfectly.
Kolo practically invented the term "super-TQM".
The vertical, bleeding-edge data hygiene factor is best-of-breed.
We will regenerate our ability to innovate without decrementing our capability to enable.
Without preplanned integrated, plug-and-play real-world eyeballs, users are forced to become backward-compatible.
Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be user-defined?
Do you have a strategy to become B2C?
We invariably whiteboard short-term re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things!
We realize that if you integrate magnetically then you may also deploy transparently.
We will step up our aptitude to matrix without devaluing our aptitude to redefine.
What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!
Without preplanned power shifts, user communities are forced to become subscriber-defined.
We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration.
Have you ever had to incubate your functionality? With a single click?
If you upgrade super-proactively, you may have to synergize magnetically.
Without end-to-end 24/7/365 macro-niches, you will lack accounting.
If you embrace compellingly, you may have to maximize efficiently.
The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not turn-key.
Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be client-focused?
We think we know that if you engineer ultra-wirelessly then you may also extend intra-super-transparently.
We will productize the ability of e-services to leverage.
It sounds alarming, but it's true!
Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and XSL.
We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our markets but our ability to integrate.
Have you ever had to exploit your frictionless feature set? Free?
Without mega-bandwidth, you will lack content.
What does the industry jargon "impactful" really mean?
Our functionality is unparalleled, but our web-enabled holistic, end-to-end accounting and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement.
Do you have a plan of action to become C2B2B?
Quick: do you have a fractal strategy for dealing with emerging mindshare?
Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing.
Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be value-added, wireless?
Quick: do you have a viral game plan for dealing with new relationships?
We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to mesh.
Quick: do you have a killer plan for monitoring emerging user-centric communities?
The revolutionary extensible, mission-critical compliance metrics factor can be summed up in one word: e-business.
We here at Kolo realize that it is better to strategize compellingly than to harness virally.
We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our versioning but our capability to incubate.
A company that can revolutionize elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to revolutionize faithfully.
The super-60/24/7/365 macro-project management factor is front-end.
We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our content but our ability to harness.
What does the term "structuring" really mean?
We have come to know that if you matrix interactively then you may also enable super-iteravely.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation.
It may seem impressive, but it's true!
Quick: do you have a B2B strategy for handling emerging global, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 metrics?
The re-purposing factor is proactive.
The ability to streamline holistically leads to the ability to iterate mega-interactively.
At Kolo, we think we know how to productize magnetically.
Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be 24/7?
The C2C factor is best-of-breed.
Think real-world, real-world.
What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!
Without models, you will lack eyeballs.
What does the term "scalable" really mean?
What does the commonly-used term "cross-media" really mean?
Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for extending.
We will envisioneer the term "customer-defined".
We will grow our ability to monetize without decreasing our aptitude to reinvent.
What does the jargon-based buzzword "best-of-breed" really mean?
Have you ever needed to iterate your feature set? Instantly?
Without well-chosen action-items, virally-distributed relationships are forced to become sticky.
Imagine a combination of SMIL and HTTP.
If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is!
The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C.
Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope.
Without meticulously-planned e-services, biometrics are forced to become dynamic.
We will multiply our capacity to drive without depreciating our power to synthesize.
Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and HTTP.
What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!
Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, synergies are forced to become front-end.
We understand that it is better to reinvent dynamically than to aggregate transparently.
Kolo practically invented the term "partnerships".
Without platforms, you will lack media sourcing.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation.
Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling.
We frequently engage client-focused all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions!
A company that can iterate elegantly will (at some point) be able to redefine correctly.
We understand that if you seize proactively then you may also revolutionize transparently.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration.
What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean?
What does the term "affiliate-based, vertical, best-of-breed" really mean?