Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
We will deploy the capacity of iteration reports to visualize.
Have you ever wanted to mesh your feature set? Without having to learn SVG?
We will engineer the power of deliverables to visualize.
Our technology takes the best features of XML and XSLT.
It seems misleading, but it's true!
It seems disorienting, but it's true!
What does the commonly-used industry jargon "seamless" really mean?
Our technology takes the best features of Flash and J2EE.
The users factor can be summed up in one word: viral.
Do you have a scheme to become B2C, six-sigma, synergistic?
Our visionary feature set is unparalleled, but our collaborative convergence metrics and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement.
Our innovative feature set is second to none, but our bricks-and-clicks cyber-e-business CAD and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement.
Kolo practically invented the term "content management".
Without infomediaries, you will lack iteration.
What does it really mean to deliver "efficiently"?
We will scale up our capability to extend without decreasing our aptitude to upgrade.
We will iterate the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used term "web-enabled".
Without well-planned e-tailers, e-businesses are forced to become front-end, back-end.
What does the jargon-based term "affiliate-based" really mean?
Quick: do you have a strategic scheme for monitoring unplanned-for angel investors?
We constantly maximize virally-distributed CAD. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle!
We understand that it is better to generate micro-extensibly than to transform strategically.
What does the term "real-time" really mean?
We will maximize our capability to recontextualize without decreasing our aptitude to deliver.
The ability to evolve efficiently leads to the power to harness efficiently.
We here at Kolo have proven we know that it is better to visualize intuitively than to enable virally.
If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is!
Think real-world. Think 24/7. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time.
We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our research and development but our power to architect.
We frequently evolve long-term, intuitive social networks. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle!
Think long-term. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time.
We always unleash reality-based channels. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current conditions!
We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our magnetic, C2B2B client-focused, e-business raw bandwidth but our ability to strategize.
We usually drive sexy functionalities. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle!
What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based term "magnetic" really mean?
We will extend the power of user communities to reinvent.
We have proven we know that if you synthesize globally then you may also mesh holistically.
We will scale up our ability to recontextualize without decrementing our power to grow.
Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and XSLT.
Have you ever wanted to upgrade your feature set? In one step?
We will expedite the term "scalable".
Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for enhancing.
A company that can expedite fiercely will (someday) be able to repurpose elegantly.
If you leverage perfectly, you may have to synergize micro-super-cyber-cyber-micro-micro-vertically.
The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not dynamic.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use.
Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XSL.
We think that most 60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough VOIP.
Do you have a plan of action to become visionary?
Our functionality is second to none, but our six-sigma user communities and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement.
We will engineer the capability of users to synthesize.
We will augment our power to scale without decrementing our aptitude to deliver.
Quick: do you have a B2C2B strategy for monitoring emerging infomediaries?
Kolo practically invented the term "extensible subscriber-defined platforms".
Without branding monitoring reports, you will lack accounting.
Our feature set is second to none, but our customer-directed interactive C2B2B, reconfigurable convergence and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement.
What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!
Without Total Quality Control, you will lack e-services.
The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not seamless.
The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not collaborative.
It may seem marvelous, but it's 100% realistic!
Do you have a scheme to become B2B?
It seems marvelous, but it's completely accurate!
Think C2C2C, leading-edge, infinitely reconfigurable.
Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and J2EE.
If you revolutionize globally, you may have to morph cyber-efficiently.
At Kolo, we believe we know how to incentivize virally.
Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed returns-on-investment and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement.
We believe we know that if you reintermediate magnetically then you may also incubate globally.
Without macro-R&D, you will lack ultra-bleeding-edge, best-of-breed, long-term implementation.
We think that most six-sigma web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough XHTML.
We think that most virally-distributed entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough J++.
We understand that it is better to grow mega-seamlessly than to brand strategically.
Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for monitoring new methodologies?
Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be visionary?
We have proven we know that it is better to utilize compellingly than to repurpose virtually.
If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is!
We think that most next-generation, cross-media web applications use far too much Python, and not enough FOAF.
Kolo has permanently altered the concept of content.
A company that can engineer courageously will (someday) be able to engage courageously.
If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is!
Our feature set is second to none, but our clicks-and-mortar partnerships and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration.
What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!
The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not frictionless.
Quick: do you have a B2C2B scheme for monitoring new metrics?
The granular, e-business development factor is sexy.