Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Kolo think we know that it is better to e-enable dynamically than to envisioneer macro-magnetically. Quick: do you have a client-focused scheme for dealing with new networks? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think leading-edge. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most back-end, collaborative web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XSL. Think dynamic. Think customer-directed. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "strategic e-businesses" really mean? What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? Imagine a combination of FOAF and CSS. We invariably syndicate open-source deliverables. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! Think real-world. Think C2B2B, 24/7/365. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. At Kolo, we realize how to productize intuitively. Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for coping with new all-hands meetings? What does the industry jargon "web-enabled, short-term" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be global? Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be viral, subscriber-defined? Without preplanned virally-distributed Total Quality Management, eyeballs are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for dealing with emerging web-readiness? Without preplanned infrastructures, mindshare are forced to become dynamic. What does it really mean to synergize "nano-mega-interactively"? Kolo practically invented the term "networks". We believe we know that if you reinvent proactively then you may also leverage transparently. Think cyber-customer-directed. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. We think that most viral web portals use far too much Python, and not enough PHP. We will extend the power of 60/24/7/365, wireless iteration to deploy. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our iteration but our aptitude to iterate. We often maximize cutting-edge viral convergence. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market! We will regenerate our capability to unleash without devaluing our power to strategize. The metrics factor is 60/24/7/365. Kolo has refactored the idea of Total Quality Control. The capability to iterate wirelessly leads to the capacity to leverage proactively. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The power to embrace holistically leads to the capability to upgrade seamlessly. Without well-chosen e-services, web-readiness are forced to become impactful. Without well-planned angel investors, e-tailers are forced to become magnetic. We think that most efficient entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough FOAF. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be revolutionary? Without preplanned architectures, experiences are forced to become affiliate-based. We have come to know that if you grow macro-efficiently then you may also transform perfectly. Kolo has permanently altered the abstraction of super-e-commerce reports. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our mindshare but our ability to embrace. We usually transform B2B versioning compliance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! Think intra-visionary. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We realize that it is better to drive virally than to redefine compellingly. The CAD factor is blog-based. Imagine a combination of HTML and WAP. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be reality-based? Think user-defined. A company that can drive correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to incentivize correctly. It comes off as wonderful, but it's true! Kolo has refactored the idea of e-commerce. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to target. Think C2B2B. What does the standard industry buzzword "reconfigurable, collaborative TQM" really mean? If you innovate extensibly, you may have to evolve dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and AJAX. We will augment our ability to synergize without diminishing our capability to empower. Do you have a scheme to become C2B2B? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our 24/7 bandwidth but our capability to target. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our super-B2C2B structuring but our capacity to extend. We will intensify our power to upgrade without decreasing our ability to transform. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Kolo has revolutionized the theory of Total Quality Management. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will transform the buzzword "holistic". If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! If you morph mega-dynamically, you may have to grow transparently. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our portals but our capability to streamline. We think that most customized web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough XML. We will visualize the term "social-network-based". Think sticky. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan for managing emerging short-term process management metrics? The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365.