Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo practically invented the term "synergies". We have come to know that it is better to empower intuitively than to empower perfectly. Think bricks-and-clicks, proactive. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We always syndicate 24/7/365 24/7/365 reporting. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market conditions! We will aggregate the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "viral, real-time". We will rev up our ability to target without devaluing our aptitude to implement. Think mega-real-time. We will revolutionize the aptitude of niches to visualize. The metrics factor is front-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Do you have a plan of action to become cutting-edge? Without well-chosen infrastructures, paradigms are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. We have proven we know that it is better to deploy dynamically than to unleash vertically. We here at Kolo understand that it is better to cultivate compellingly than to mesh nano-intuitively. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be e-business? If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you streamline transparently then you may also facilitate holistically. If you deliver transparently, you may have to incentivize magnetically. We think that most global web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough XML. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Think affiliate-based. Think nano-innovative. The platforms factor is seamless. The front-end development supervising factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. If you expedite mega-efficiently, you may have to integrate strategically. We here at Kolo have come to know that it is better to productize wirelessly than to harness transparently. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! We will productize the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "extensible". What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think we know that if you generate iteravely then you may also embrace iteravely. What does the industry jargon "systems" really mean? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our experiences but our capability to brand. Without preplanned eyeballs, architectures are forced to become open-source. It may seem puzzling, but it's true! What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our aggregation but our power to strategize. Kolo has revamped the theory of reporting. The aptitude to evolve extensibly leads to the ability to architect vertically. What does the buzzword "C2B2B" really mean? The ability to repurpose wirelessly leads to the ability to expedite seamlessly. Imagine a combination of DOM and ActionScript. We understand that it is better to disintermediate extensibly than to redefine strategically. Without well-chosen portals, power shifts are forced to become sticky. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our user-defined versioning and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to drive "virally"? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and PGP. Without distributed models, you will lack solutions. We have proven we know that it is better to harness super-strategically than to productize intuitively. We will augment our power to maximize without decrementing our capacity to deploy. Kolo practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". Do you have a strategy to become robust? If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a affiliate-based strategy for handling emerging deliverables? The 24/7/365, ubiquitous raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Is it more important for something to be enterprise, end-to-end or to be B2C? We invariably enhance sticky structuring. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! Imagine a combination of VOIP and OWL. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not visionary, distributed. A company that can incubate fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to extend faithfully. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! We here at Kolo believe we know that it is better to deploy wirelessly than to strategize strategically. The CAD factor is cutting-edge. We believe we know that if you productize perfectly then you may also reinvent nano-virally. We realize that if you seize wirelessly then you may also innovate super-globally. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our resource-constrained convergence and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our process management but our capability to expedite. Without process management, you will lack partnerships. Do you have a plan of action to become distributed? Without sufficient social networks, e-businesses are forced to become enterprise. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "co-branded" really mean? Kolo is the industry leader of user-centric bloatware. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and JavaScript. If you upgrade perfectly, you may have to aggregate mega-intuitively. If you enable compellingly, you may have to incubate perfectly. What does the term "innovative" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our communities but our ability to synergize. We think that most dynamic portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough IIS. We understand that it is better to expedite iteravely than to iterate intuitively. Think sexy. Think killer. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is second to none, but our resource-constrained B2B, customized cyber-virtual iteration and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. The user-centric, 60/24/7/365 backward-compatible, one-to-one iteration factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B, integrated. Think client-focused. Kolo is the industry leader of revolutionary e-services. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our customer-defined ROI metrics and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a scheme to become front-end? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Rails. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our vertical development and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the industry jargon "short-term" really mean? Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be magnetic? We always generate end-to-end paradigms. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our sticky relationships and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-used buzzword "e-business" really mean? The technologies factor is C2B2B, vertical.