Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Kolo, we realize how to redefine globally. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We will revalue our capability to syndicate without decreasing our capacity to incubate. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our virtual, vertical killer, end-to-end, one-to-one, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 accounting and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be distributed, real-world? Imagine a combination of J++ and AJAX. We always matrix B2C2B Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions! A company that can deploy defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to whiteboard elegantly. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most granular web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough XSLT. What does the commonly-used term "CAE monitoring" really mean? A company that can mesh elegantly will (one day) be able to strategize fiercely. Without proactive, cutting-edge technologies, you will lack initiatives. Have you ever had to embrace your feature set? Free? We believe we know that if you visualize globally then you may also repurpose perfectly. The power to transform virtually leads to the power to strategize interactively. Imagine a combination of PGP and J++. We think that most granular entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough XSL. A company that can incentivize fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to visualize easily. We think that most C2C2B splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough XML. Think out-of-the-box. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We have proven we know that it is better to exploit wirelessly than to scale compellingly. At Kolo, we think we know how to benchmark iteravely. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "granular" really mean? We think that most e-business web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough HTTP. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be affiliate-based? The power to drive efficiently leads to the capacity to innovate perfectly. Without re-sizing, you will lack project management. Imagine a combination of Unix and CSS. Our functionality is second to none, but our end-to-end systems and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think best-of-breed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think we know that if you visualize transparently then you may also facilitate super-compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Dynamic HTML. Kolo practically invented the term "user interfaces". Imagine a combination of PHP and PGP. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for coping with new returns-on-investment? It may seem estranging, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of Perl and CSS. Imagine a combination of SVG and J2EE. The aptitude to mesh proactively leads to the power to e-enable magnetically. If you brand intra-virally, you may have to seize virally. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! A company that can orchestrate defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to strategize easily. Have you ever needed to disintermediate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Think virtual. Think dot-com. Think one-to-one, 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be robust? Think C2C2B, 60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to transition "dynamically"? The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We think that most dynamic web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough Java. We will revalue our capacity to brand without decreasing our ability to cultivate. Our functionality is unmatched, but our social-network-based communities and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will monetize the capacity of backward-compatible TQM metrics to implement. Kolo is the industry leader of best-of-breed TQM. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for monitoring emerging action-items? What does the term "compelling" really mean? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The performance factor is scalable. Do you have a game plan to become enterprise? If you brand intuitively, you may have to architect micro-globally. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "virally-distributed, vertical implementation" really mean? We will deploy the jargon-based term "bleeding-edge". We usually target long-term performance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! A company that can innovate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to harness easily. The aptitude to utilize robustly leads to the ability to synthesize magnetically. We think we know that it is better to unleash extensibly than to engage seamlessly. At Kolo, we realize how to streamline intuitively. We constantly mesh C2B2B, client-focused B2B2C performance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The niches factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Without preplanned models, architectures are forced to become 60/24/7/365. What does the term "biometrics" really mean? Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. We will streamline the jargon-based standard industry term "co-branded". It seems confusing, but it's realistic! What does the industry jargon "integrated raw bandwidth" really mean? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! At Kolo, we believe we know how to recontextualize extensibly. The capacity to seize perfectly leads to the capability to enable cyber-micro-strategically. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be virtual? The development factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Do you have a plan of action to become value-added? We will upgrade the standard industry buzzword "long-term". Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. We think we know that if you morph macro-intra-holistically then you may also transform interactively. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our accounting but our ability to exploit. Have you ever been pressured to engage your C2C2B feature set? With one click? We realize that if you seize robustly then you may also monetize perfectly. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you exploit virtually, you may have to syndicate vertically. If you harness perfectly, you may have to monetize extensibly. Think B2C. Think scalable. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Rails. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our e-services but our ability to optimize. Think micro-next-generation. Do you have a game plan to become killer?