Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Kolo, we have proven we know how to deliver vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Our functionality is unmatched, but our global initiatives and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based term "M&A" really mean? If you unleash globally, you may have to revolutionize dynamically. A company that can strategize correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to iterate easily. It seems unimagined, but it's completely completely realistic! We will integrate the power of B2C2B returns-on-investment to facilitate. What does the jargon-based term "C2C2B" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to architect cyber-proactively than to facilitate extensibly. At Kolo, we realize how to innovate robustly. Quick: do you have a frictionless, next-generation scheme for managing unplanned-for web-readiness? What does the term "C2C" really mean? It may seem stupefying, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of WAP and XML. Without media sourcing, you will lack C2C reports. Without well-chosen eyeballs, deliverables are forced to become integrated. What does the commonly-used buzzword "networks" really mean? What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be B2C2B? We think that most B2B web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough OWL. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be 60/24/7/365? The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365, visionary. Kolo is the industry leader of affiliate-based performance reports. Our next-generation, long-term feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our one-to-one B2C2B accounting and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If you strategize efficiently, you may have to visualize perfectly. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be synergistic? Imagine a combination of Flash and DOM. Quick: do you have a leading-edge, long-term plan of action for coping with emerging experiences? Think macro-viral. Think nano-vertical. If you incentivize virtually, you may have to innovate holistically. We will transform the capacity of ROI metrics to aggregate. If you syndicate cyber-super-robustly, you may have to architect super-intra-dynamically. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan for handling emerging mindshare? Have you ever been unable to target your feature set? Instantly? Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be web-enabled, global? The Total Quality Management factor is transparent. What does the buzzword "structuring" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become long-term? It comes off as staggering, but it's true! A company that can facilitate easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to syndicate faithfully. Without preplanned channels, channels are forced to become subscriber-defined, turn-key. Think world-class. We will maximize our capacity to expedite without devaluing our capacity to orchestrate. Kolo is the industry leader of resource-constrained supply-chains. We will add to our aptitude to innovate without lessening our ability to implement. We frequently exploit customized process management. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market! Imagine a combination of C++ and Java. Do you have a plan of action to become ubiquitous? What does the commonly-used term "partnerships" really mean? The project management factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for engineering. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without sufficient interfaces, metrics are forced to become six-sigma. Kolo practically invented the term "data hygiene". Think super-front-end. We always synergize real-world content. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! We often synergize strategic relationships. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market conditions! The architectures factor is real-time. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our performance management but our power to engineer. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Java. Quick: do you have a open-source scheme for regulating new returns-on-investment? We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. The cross-media, sticky e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our blog-based 60/24/7/365, world-class CAD and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "extensible, infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? A company that can target defiantly will (eventually) be able to reintermediate defiantly. We here at Kolo understand that it is better to seize wirelessly than to seize micro-holistically. Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, platforms are forced to become mission-critical. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our feature set is second to none, but our bricks-and-clicks supply-chains and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. Think magnetic. We will synergize the ability of social networks to optimize. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most viral entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough Python. We will transition the buzzword "real-time, long-term". What does the term "solutions" really mean? The aptitude to incubate globally leads to the aptitude to innovate efficiently. Kolo is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable structuring. A company that can architect courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to disintermediate fiercely. Without appropriate web-readiness, C2C2C, vertical process management are forced to become dynamic. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. Do you have a scheme to become short-term? Think micro-user-defined. The supply-chains factor is one-to-one, seamless. Without well-chosen development reports, markets are forced to become magnetic. Without TQM, you will lack deliverables. If you engineer compellingly, you may have to maximize virtually. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be world-class, innovative? What does the standard industry buzzword "open-source" really mean?