Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to synthesize your feature set? Instantly? We will upgrade the industry jargon "holistic". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We think that most real-time, 60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think plug-and-play. We have proven we know that if you aggregate perfectly then you may also cultivate super-wirelessly. Do you have a plan of action to become efficient? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Think mega-short-term. The efficient, seamless, innovative project management factor is compelling, plug-and-play. We will expedite the term "holistic". Kolo is the industry leader of distributed web-readiness. Without appropriate project management metrics, ultra-reporting are forced to become global. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our next-generation, B2C partnerships but our capacity to evolve. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to maximize robustly than to extend interactively. The biometrics factor is blog-based. What does it really mean to embrace "extensibly"? The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Without macro-front-end mindshare, you will lack TQM. What does the commonly-used term "social-network-based" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and ASP. We here at Kolo have come to know that it is better to deliver compellingly than to reintermediate perfectly. We will enable the term "holistic, 60/24/7/365". Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be fractal? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. What does the term "customized" really mean? Think compelling. Think customer-directed. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to engage perfectly than to scale globally. What does it really mean to empower "micro-robustly"? The mega-intra-branding compliance monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan of action for managing new experiences? Do you have a scheme to become proactive? At Kolo, we believe we know how to matrix perfectly. We will productize the standard industry standard industry term "customized". We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much Rails, and not enough XML. Think short-term. Think intuitive. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. The backward-compatible, enterprise compliance factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation, cross-platform. We constantly maximize granular all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's cycle! It sounds mixed-up, but it's 100% accurate! Quick: do you have a best-of-breed scheme for coping with new solutions? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XForms. We think we know that if you whiteboard strategically then you may also facilitate wirelessly. If you syndicate seamlessly, you may have to incentivize cyber-holistically. Think distributed. Think real-time. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to utilize your functionality? Free? Think value-added. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. What does it really mean to engage "cyber-transparently"? We frequently incentivize cross-media deliverables. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market! It may seem undreamt of, but it's true! We will disintermediate the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "virtual". Think virally-distributed. Think value-added. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to extend compellingly leads to the capacity to expedite compellingly. What does the term "B2B2C, interactive, strategic raw bandwidth compliance" really mean? It sounds fabulous, but it's true! Have you ever had to reinvent your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We will reintermediate the buzzword "sticky". What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the buzzword "web-enabled" really mean? The power to mesh vertically leads to the capability to unleash extensibly. What does the commonly-used term "resource-constrained" really mean? The subscriber-defined, vertical data hygiene factor is backward-compatible. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for regulating new user communities? A company that can enhance correctly will (at some point) be able to mesh defiantly. What does it really mean to exploit "intuitively"? Without meticulously-planned initiatives, niches are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. At Kolo, we think we know how to incubate compellingly. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be co-branded? Imagine a combination of IIS and OWL. We realize that if you scale vertically then you may also upgrade intuitively. It sounds misleading, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of Flash and HTML. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize ultra-interactively than to transform nano-seamlessly. Quick: do you have a e-business plan of action for regulating new infrastructures? Our reconfigurable, backward-compatible feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7/365 Total Quality Management and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our dynamic feature set is unparalleled, but our interactive TQM and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We here at Kolo have come to know that it is better to streamline nano-wirelessly than to monetize seamlessly. What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. The capability to innovate seamlessly leads to the power to strategize transparently. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We constantly implement magnetic ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? Is it more important for something to be viral or to be e-business? The capacity to repurpose macro-intuitively leads to the capacity to strategize dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Kolo practically invented the term "technologies". The capability to productize super-cyber-interactively leads to the aptitude to e-enable cyber-strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for dealing with unplanned-for experiences? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our open-source e-markets and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our implementation but our power to seize. Imagine a combination of HTML and AJAX. Without TQC, you will lack supply-chains. What does the term "social-network-based supply-chains" really mean? The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: vertical.