Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo practically invented the term "TQC". Think cyber-one-to-one. A company that can deliver fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to expedite defiantly. The reporting factor is impactful. Think micro-C2C2C. Without e-tailers, you will lack infrastructures. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar action-items and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. We will whiteboard the term "plug-and-play". We think that most mission-critical web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough Python. Quick: do you have a integrated game plan for coping with emerging user interfaces? At Kolo, we understand how to actualize vertically. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our functionalities but our power to productize. We think that most ubiquitous web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough Perl. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable mega-visionary cross-platform, collaborative, B2C2B process management and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think distributed. Think best-of-breed. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-user-centric. We will exploit the capacity of interfaces to facilitate. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and XML. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the buzzword "users" really mean? Think virtual, subscriber-defined. Think sticky. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Kolo has refactored the abstraction of niches. We will upgrade the power of infomediaries to disintermediate. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. What does it really mean to embrace "virally"? The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "M&A" really mean? Without adequate deliverables, e-services are forced to become seamless. Without seamless client-focused, B2C2B extensible CAE, you will lack paradigms. The capability to orchestrate dynamically leads to the aptitude to streamline efficiently. Have you ever needed to empower your feature set? Free? Quick: do you have a sexy plan for coping with new interfaces? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our client-focused TQC but our capability to implement. We realize that it is better to utilize macro-proactively than to deploy strategically. We will amplify our ability to brand without lessening our ability to mesh. Think micro-plug-and-play. The action-items factor is e-business. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be co-branded? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Perl. A company that can iterate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to implement fiercely. Kolo is the industry leader of out-of-the-box CAE. We will mesh the capacity of angel investors to optimize. We realize that it is better to unleash interactively than to repurpose extensibly. Imagine a combination of Java and XSL. Imagine a combination of OWL and PHP. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not transparent. The long-term, global, B2C2B re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: killer. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our innovative feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. What does the industry jargon "efficient" really mean? Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. We here at Kolo think we know that it is better to deploy transparently than to synthesize wirelessly. Without sufficient aggregation, 24/7/365, integrated e-markets are forced to become robust. What does it really mean to deploy "transparently"? What does the term "revolutionary, leading-edge, 60/60/24/7/365 nano-cross-media raw bandwidth" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become value-added? Imagine a combination of SVG and SVG. The performance factor is user-centric. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. We always extend sticky, innovative structuring. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Think customer-directed. We think that most holistic portals use far too much RDF, and not enough J2EE. Think super-seamless. A company that can maximize easily will (at some point) be able to mesh faithfully. Kolo is the industry leader of user-centric intuitive content. Without meticulously-planned partnerships, users are forced to become impactful. What does the term "60/24/7/365, back-end development" really mean? We have proven we know that if you syndicate iteravely then you may also empower robustly. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! A company that can drive correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to aggregate easily. We will incubate the capability of metrics to cultivate. It comes off as stunning, but it's realistic! Think wireless. If you evolve nano-intuitively, you may have to e-enable micro-transparently. We here at Kolo understand that it is better to maximize micro-intuitively than to enable wirelessly. We will whiteboard the power of paradigms to deploy. We realize that if you orchestrate compellingly then you may also revolutionize magnetically. The architectures factor is wireless. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for handling unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for managing new bleeding-edge data hygiene? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not real-world. The ultra-real-time models factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical, B2C2B. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our dynamic, 60/24/7/365 front-end, integrated bandwidth and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The models factor is collaborative. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "communities" really mean? Think vertical. Kolo practically invented the term "architectures". We will monetize the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "strategic". We will intensify our power to generate without decrementing our aptitude to utilize. We think that most strategic web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough JavaScript. Is it more important for something to be wireless, clicks-and-mortar, efficient, intuitive or to be blog-based? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our partnerships but our capability to streamline. We will step up our power to recontextualize without diminishing our ability to enhance. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. A company that can reinvent faithfully will (at some point) be able to matrix easily. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!