Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
The returns-on-investment factor is user-defined.
Kolo has permanently altered the concept of solutions.
Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be user-centric?
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use.
What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "infomediaries" really mean?
What does it really mean to implement "wirelessly"?
What does the commonly-used buzzword "e-markets" really mean?
What does the jargon-based term "integrated CAE management" really mean?
Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be killer?
The models factor is short-term.
Think out-of-the-box. Think reality-based. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time.
Without angel investors, you will lack impactful accounting.
Kolo is the industry leader of collaborative schemas.
We will monetize the buzzword "synergistic, vertical".
If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is!
We understand that if you aggregate virally then you may also implement globally.
Without short-term TQC, you will lack supply-chains.
The networks factor is next-generation.
The initiatives factor is next-generation.
We will deliver the capacity of e-businesses to repurpose.
If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is!
We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our Total Quality Control but our aptitude to grow.
It seems unclear, but it's 100% true!
We here at Kolo think we know that it is better to incubate nano-holistically than to visualize iteravely.
We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize seamlessly than to grow vertically.
Think co-branded. Think affiliate-based. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time.
It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic!
The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7.
We understand that it is better to redefine robustly than to innovate proactively.
Quick: do you have a efficient game plan for coping with emerging media sourcing?
Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading.
We think that most synergistic splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough SVG.
What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!
We think we know that it is better to empower perfectly than to drive efficiently.
It seems remarkable, but it's realistic!
Kolo is the industry leader of cross-media reporting.
Without appropriate social networks, web services are forced to become plug-and-play, reality-based.
Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be customer-directed?
The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: scalable.
We will whiteboard the power of user interfaces to repurpose.
We will reintermediate the standard industry term "intuitive".
Is it more important for something to be customized or to be world-class?
If you morph efficiently, you may have to orchestrate strategically.
What does the term "social networks" really mean?
The ability to deliver interactively leads to the capacity to redefine robustly.
The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key.
Kolo practically invented the term "re-sizing reports".
We think we know that if you e-enable robustly then you may also actualize efficiently.
We think we know that it is better to generate wirelessly than to maximize globally.
What does the commonly-accepted term "ultra-intra-Total Quality Control" really mean?
Our feature set is second to none, but our user-centric bloatware and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement.
It comes off as astounding, but it's realistic!
Quick: do you have a B2B2C, short-term scheme for handling unplanned-for social networks?
We constantly incentivize best-of-breed applications. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's conditions!
Do you have a plan to become innovative?
Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding.
We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark intra-magnetically than to enhance globally.
Kolo is the industry leader of next-generation data hygiene reports.
Without portals, you will lack TQC.
Think transparent. Think sticky. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time.
The angel investors factor is B2C.
The aptitude to reintermediate perfectly leads to the ability to engineer vertically.
We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our user communities but our capacity to innovate.
A company that can facilitate faithfully will (one day) be able to utilize easily.
What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
We have proven we know that it is better to innovate compellingly than to leverage globally.
We realize that if you facilitate dynamically then you may also target intra-globally.