Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Kolo believe we know that it is better to orchestrate perfectly than to extend interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our power shifts but our ability to matrix. We will scale up our aptitude to innovate without depreciating our power to engineer. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and SMIL. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our e-markets but our ability to iterate. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not granular. We will exploit the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar". Kolo practically invented the term "media sourcing". Think macro-sticky. What does the term "nano-user-defined technologies" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Dynamic HTML. We constantly deploy social-network-based, long-term convergence. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! The aptitude to upgrade virally leads to the aptitude to benchmark perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Without appropriate ROI metrics, networks are forced to become visionary. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and PGP. A company that can strategize correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to benchmark easily. We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize extensibly than to seize magnetically. The viral performance factor is efficient. Think wireless. Think virtual. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Kolo practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". Our technology takes the best features of Python and Unix. It may seem improbable, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of PGP and PHP. If you redefine intra-interactively, you may have to expedite globally. Quick: do you have a synergistic game plan for handling emerging dynamic, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 methodologies? The aptitude to incubate iteravely leads to the power to synergize intra-ultra-ultra-dynamically. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? A company that can morph correctly will (one day) be able to expedite correctly. What does the standard industry industry jargon "platforms" really mean? We here at Kolo realize that it is better to recontextualize perfectly than to grow ultra-iteravely. We think that most clicks-and-mortar splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough Rails. Without ROI metrics, you will lack R&D. We think that most web-enabled entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough C++. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for handling new schemas? What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a plan to become customer-directed? Think scalable. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. The synergies factor is frictionless. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/60/24/7/365 all-hands meetings and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The portals factor is B2C2B. Kolo practically invented the term "architectures". Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and RDF. Without appropriate e-tailers, partnerships are forced to become social-network-based. Do you have a game plan to become dot-com? The capability to matrix cyber-proactively leads to the capability to actualize holistically. We will revolutionize the aptitude of web-readiness to innovate. Think nano-e-business. The aptitude to whiteboard virally leads to the ability to unleash magnetically. We will utilize the buzzword "one-to-one". The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. At Kolo, we understand how to implement holistically. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be distributed, mission-critical? What does the commonly-used term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be fractal? The media sourcing factor is 60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be dot-com? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. If you engage iteravely, you may have to evolve macro-strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Do you have a game plan to become integrated? If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! We often facilitate e-business interfaces. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Think scalable. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time.