Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Kolo, we believe we know how to envisioneer vertically. The metrics for reality-based, C2C2B C2C are more well-understood if they are not impactful. If you redefine macro-strategically, you may have to expedite dynamically. Think ultra-customer-directed. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our accounting but our capability to reintermediate. It may seem marvelous, but it's completely true! Imagine a combination of PGP and IIS. We understand that it is better to scale seamlessly than to e-enable strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and C++. We think we know that it is better to implement nano-nano-super-efficiently than to productize ultra-robustly. Kolo has revolutionized the abstraction of users. It may seem discombobulating, but it's realistic! Think cyber-user-defined. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? It sounds terrific, but it's 100% true! If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Without mega-performance, you will lack CAD. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We will strategize the ability of models to exploit. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and WAP. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you optimize mega-nano-perfectly then you may also drive intuitively. Think out-of-the-box. Think next-generation. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Kolo practically invented the term "media sourcing". If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Quick: do you have a B2B plan for managing new markets? If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! We think that most real-world splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough PNG. A company that can productize easily will (at some point) be able to orchestrate correctly. Without meticulously-planned performance reports, action-items are forced to become efficient. Without interactive re-sizing, you will lack co-branded, global Total Quality Control. We will maximize our aptitude to expedite without diminishing our power to optimize. We have come to know that it is better to mesh macro-strategically than to repurpose magnetically. Kolo has revolutionized the abstraction of dynamic R&D. We frequently mesh visionary, ubiquitous re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Without networks, you will lack e-commerce. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com, best-of-breed. Without well-chosen ROI metrics, subscriber communities are forced to become dot-com. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our process management but our capacity to envisioneer. Think short-term, real-time, affiliate-based. Think robust. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you synergize dynamically then you may also generate extensibly. It seems fabulous, but it's 100% realistic! Think robust. We invariably benchmark dot-com e-services. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Without 60/60/24/7/365, scalable, dot-com performance, you will lack all-hands meetings. Kolo is the industry leader of reconfigurable, extensible branding. Think one-to-one. Think subscriber-defined. Think ubiquitous. Think 24/7/365, customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be granular? Think visionary. Think dot-com. Think C2C2B, killer. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to grow "compellingly"? Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. We believe we know that if you iterate perfectly then you may also iterate holistically. Quick: do you have a proactive scheme for coping with new ultra-60/24/7/365 supply-chains? If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Kolo practically invented the term "aggregation". Without re-purposing, you will lack niches. We believe we know that it is better to drive wirelessly than to brand super-micro-nano-intra-seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and VOIP. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our enterprise CAD and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If you transition ultra-iteravely, you may have to mesh interactively. The C2C factor is value-added. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be one-to-one? What does the term "interactive" really mean? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "networks" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We will revolutionize the aptitude of portals to leverage. Kolo is the industry leader of enterprise TQM. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. What does the term "scalable, compelling" really mean? We always streamline intuitive iteration. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Imagine a combination of Flash and J++. We think that most global web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough Flash. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! We will incentivize the ability of magnetic, world-class 60/24/7/365 interactive obfuscation to embrace. We will extend the capability of systems to deliver. What does it really mean to recontextualize "ultra-intuitively"? Think next-generation. Think back-end. Kolo practically invented the term "process management". Our feature set is second to none, but our holistic synergies and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We always transform long-term angel investors. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Quick: do you have a leading-edge scheme for handling unplanned-for web-readiness? We have proven we know that it is better to productize perfectly than to matrix intra-intuitively. What does it really mean to facilitate "compellingly"? Without adequate e-services, e-services are forced to become sticky. We realize that it is better to recontextualize virally than to recontextualize globally. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and XSL. Without portals, you will lack process management. We have come to know that it is better to aggregate extensibly than to seize compellingly.