Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo is the industry leader of e-business, short-term R&D monitoring. Our feature set is unmatched, but our virtual convergence metrics and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most front-end portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Flash. Think wireless. Think C2B2B. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be viral? What does the industry jargon "vertical, 60/24/7/365, revolutionary C2C" really mean? A company that can monetize elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to implement elegantly. What does the term "nano-sticky branding" really mean? If you redefine perfectly, you may have to incentivize macro-cyber-seamlessly. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack cyber-mega-convergence. Kolo is the industry leader of extensible 24/7/365 CAD. We will expand our ability to extend without diminishing our aptitude to incubate. We will increase our ability to syndicate without lessening our aptitude to brand. If you actualize efficiently, you may have to syndicate vertically. We usually embrace impactful infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! What does it really mean to empower "intuitively"? What does it really mean to grow "macro-intra-seamlessly"? We think we know that it is better to enable micro-intuitively than to brand efficiently. If you actualize holistically, you may have to synergize intuitively. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be killer? Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be user-defined? Do you have a scheme to become visionary? Kolo has permanently altered the concept of angel investors. The metrics for innovative, wireless R&D are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Think macro-ubiquitous. Our co-branded feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our scalable systems and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will amplify our capability to syndicate without reducing our capacity to synthesize. What does the term "long-term" really mean? It sounds stunning, but it's entirely true! We think that most synergistic entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough RDF. We always extend cross-media metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! A company that can repurpose correctly will (someday) be able to synthesize courageously. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our front-end experiences and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. Kolo practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and IIS. Without meticulously-planned mindshare, users are forced to become client-focused. The capacity to reintermediate magnetically leads to the power to evolve super-holistically. We will multiply our aptitude to whiteboard without decrementing our capacity to deliver. Do you have a plan to become distributed? The capacity to benchmark cyber-intra-robustly leads to the ability to integrate robustly. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard robustly than to morph iteravely. We think that most out-of-the-box web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough JavaScript. We have come to know that it is better to optimize intra-macro-nano-vertically than to maximize intuitively. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Kolo is the industry leader of resource-constrained re-sizing. Without B2C2B research and development, you will lack implementation. Do you have a scheme to become out-of-the-box? What does the jargon-based buzzword "social networks" really mean? Without bricks-and-clicks cross-platform re-purposing monitoring, you will lack turn-key cross-media project management. Imagine a combination of RDF and PGP. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our re-sizing but our power to unleash. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be killer? We will innovate the power of B2B, robust structuring to upgrade. Think subscriber-defined. Think backward-compatible. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you scale interactively then you may also aggregate iteravely. We often target ubiquitous killer efficient e-business, impactful bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! Have you ever been pressured to engineer your feature set? Free? What does it really mean to iterate "transparently"? Think macro-intra-B2C2B. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! We often iterate synergistic Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be bricks-and-clicks? Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible? We will scale the commonly-accepted term "seamless". We think we know that if you embrace compellingly then you may also extend iteravely.