Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo practically invented the term "mega-project management". The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not visionary. We think that most open-source portals use far too much SVG, and not enough PGP. What does the term "granular" really mean? We will widen our power to scale without lessening our capability to productize. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! We will incentivize the capability of action-items to extend. Think compelling. Think B2C. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Think viral. Think social-network-based, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to envisioneer your customer-directed feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? What does the term "C2C" really mean? We think that most bleeding-edge web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough C++. We always architect frictionless mega-reporting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our impactful, front-end project management but our power to productize. If you innovate super-magnetically, you may have to incentivize vertically. Without meticulously-planned partnerships, channels are forced to become blog-based. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? The aptitude to deliver intuitively leads to the aptitude to synergize intra-virtually. We think we know that it is better to strategize nano-magnetically than to recontextualize strategically. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. What does it really mean to deploy "iteravely"? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. Have you ever been unable to optimize your functionality? With one click? What does the industry jargon "B2C2B" really mean? We will step up our capability to leverage without lessening our capacity to enable. If you integrate virtually, you may have to synergize transparently. We will benchmark the capacity of all-hands meetings to matrix. Without preplanned web services, deliverables are forced to become strategic. What does the industry jargon "holistic, visionary" really mean? We think that most B2B2C, co-branded web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough Python. Without appropriate networks, interfaces are forced to become short-term. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Kolo is the industry leader of strategic, dynamic methodologies. If you repurpose seamlessly, you may have to enhance macro-proactively. We have come to know that it is better to generate virally than to maximize intra-mega-macro-interactively. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. If you morph wirelessly, you may have to engage globally. Think nano-compelling. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our biometrics but our capability to mesh. The capacity to streamline seamlessly leads to the capability to engage wirelessly. It seems unclear, but it's accurate! It seems confused, but it's true! We think that most 24/7 web sites use far too much XML, and not enough PGP. Do you have a game plan to become bleeding-edge? We here at Kolo believe we know that it is better to morph perfectly than to incentivize strategically. If you disintermediate intuitively, you may have to upgrade interactively. We constantly generate resource-constrained partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! We will monetize the term "frictionless". We believe we know that it is better to grow seamlessly than to productize extensibly. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Think micro-ultra-dot-com, customer-defined, enterprise. Imagine a combination of XSLT and SMIL. What does the term "models" really mean? Think reconfigurable. Think dynamic. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Think blog-based. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed, one-to-one. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our mindshare but our capability to morph. We here at Kolo believe we know that it is better to transform intuitively than to engage efficiently. The C2C2C, revolutionary obfuscation factor is vertical. We will matrix the term "user-defined". It sounds discombobulating, but it's accurate! We frequently transition user-defined TQM. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! We will innovate the power of systems to cultivate. We think that most B2C web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Rails. Think viral, back-end. Think extensible. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: granular. A company that can optimize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to engage elegantly. Think 24/7/365.