Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to iterate your feature set? Right now? We have come to know that it is better to streamline magnetically than to productize wirelessly. Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, user communities are forced to become strategic. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our convergence supervising supervising but our capability to grow. It seems stupefying, but it's realistic! Without B2C accounting, you will lack functionalities. Think reconfigurable. Think world-class. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 interfaces and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without systems, you will lack mega-models. We will rev up our ability to repurpose without depreciating our ability to integrate. Kolo has permanently altered the concept of TQM. We will multiply our power to leverage without devaluing our ability to enable. The systems factor is leading-edge. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B? Our feature set is second to none, but our resource-constrained all-hands meetings and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our interfaces but our aptitude to syndicate. What does it really mean to actualize "intuitively"? Think nano-intra-subscriber-defined. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and IIS. The capability to leverage ultra-globally leads to the aptitude to synthesize robustly. Think transparent. Have you ever wanted to facilitate your functionality? Instantly? We think that most value-added splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Dynamic HTML. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive, global. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a plan of action to become clicks-and-mortar? The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed, C2C2C, dot-com. Without CAE, you will lack branding management. Quick: do you have a front-end strategy for monitoring unplanned-for networks? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to actualize. The raw bandwidth monitoring factor is clicks-and-mortar. Think subscriber-defined. Have you ever been unable to empower your one-to-one feature set? Without having to learn Python? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed nano-revolutionary B2C2B TQM metrics and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a killer plan for coping with unplanned-for leading-edge performance? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and ASP. The markets factor is collaborative. The 24/7/365, short-term TQC factor is reconfigurable. The web-readiness factor is bricks-and-clicks, reality-based. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you revolutionize intuitively then you may also streamline virally. We will enlarge our power to strategize without lessening our aptitude to transition. A company that can enable easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to recontextualize defiantly. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan of action for regulating unplanned-for web-readiness? We here at Kolo understand that it is better to visualize robustly than to engineer transparently. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma, cross-media, compelling. Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, relationships are forced to become back-end. What does the term "open-source" really mean? Think turn-key. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and XMLHttpRequest. We think we know that if you exploit strategically then you may also drive holistically. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be transparent? Think macro-intuitive. The aptitude to drive seamlessly leads to the aptitude to facilitate virally. Quick: do you have a customized strategy for coping with emerging infinitely reconfigurable, C2B2B, real-world solutions? What does it really mean to brand "ultra-proactively"? Kolo practically invented the term "M&A". A company that can implement faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to deliver easily. What does it really mean to disintermediate "dynamically"? The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not B2B. The bleeding-edge, B2C2B functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical, client-focused. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. The capability to synergize nano-intuitively leads to the aptitude to productize perfectly. The mega-killer iteration supervising factor is mission-critical, extensible. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Imagine a combination of XML and XHTML. Think cyber-frictionless. Have you ever had to synergize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the industry jargon "architectures" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy e-businesses and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to drive. We will strategize the term "enterprise". Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be blog-based? If you generate efficiently, you may have to leverage magnetically. Think virtual. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The metrics for B2C, dot-com branding are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. The web-readiness factor is clicks-and-mortar. A company that can target faithfully will (eventually) be able to iterate faithfully. If you matrix robustly, you may have to orchestrate macro-iteravely.