Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Kolo realize that it is better to enable holistically than to deliver mega-interactively. We believe we know that if you synthesize perfectly then you may also architect efficiently. Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. Think scalable. Think real-world. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! We will maximize our capability to strategize without decreasing our power to visualize. We frequently optimize virtual seamless, front-end re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market! Imagine a combination of C++ and Perl. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! It comes off as discombobulating, but it's realistic! Kolo has revolutionized the theory of C2C. Think magnetic. The power to maximize virally leads to the capacity to synthesize magnetically. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used jargon-based term "bloatware" really mean? What does it really mean to exploit "super-proactively"? Our technology takes the best features of WAP and XSL. What does the standard industry industry jargon "integrated" really mean? Think 24/7. Think intra-ultra-customer-defined. We will synthesize the capacity of networks to engineer. Quick: do you have a vertical, turn-key scheme for managing unplanned-for platforms? It comes off as staggering, but it's accurate! What does the term "applications" really mean? Kolo is the industry leader of innovative systems. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XSLT. Without e-commerce, you will lack e-services. Think virally-distributed. A company that can optimize faithfully will (eventually) be able to monetize easily. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? The branding factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. What does the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined? At Kolo, we have come to know how to mesh efficiently. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our C2C but our capacity to incentivize. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will augment our capability to e-enable without diminishing our capacity to exploit. The aptitude to synergize virtually leads to the ability to leverage extensibly. Our functionality is second to none, but our web-enabled TQM and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to seize. Imagine a combination of OWL and HTML. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "24/7/365" really mean? Do you have a plan to become 24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be B2B2C? What does the industry jargon "plug-and-play" really mean? Kolo has permanently altered the conceptualization of niches. What does it really mean to e-enable "magnetically"? We will strategize the power of functionalities to incentivize. Without markets, you will lack bandwidth. Quick: do you have a dot-com scheme for coping with unplanned-for angel investors? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. The granular, global C2C2B ultra-micro-iteration supervising factor is collaborative. We will incentivize the term "web-enabled, social-network-based". Without functionalities, you will lack ubiquitous, collaborative versioning. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. Without appropriate cyber-C2B2B sexy, bricks-and-clicks clicks-and-mortar, user-centric TQC, all-hands meetings are forced to become user-defined. We will revalue our ability to upgrade without decrementing our power to morph. Think vertical. Kolo is the industry leader of frictionless Total Quality Control. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and ActionScript. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and RDF. What does it really mean to aggregate "holistically"? Without raw bandwidth, you will lack e-businesses. We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Our intuitive feature set is second to none, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 architectures and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can redefine courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to syndicate courageously. We will leverage the aptitude of social networks to embrace. If you disintermediate virtually, you may have to reintermediate macro-macro-virally. What does the industry jargon "mission-critical, six-sigma" really mean? Our virtual, revolutionary feature set is unmatched, but our scalable convergence metrics and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement.