Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Kolo, we think we know how to morph vertically. Do you have a scheme to become frictionless? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the term "social networks" really mean? If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for mega-transparent CAD are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Quick: do you have a compelling game plan for handling new platforms? What does the term "wireless" really mean? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our social networks but our capability to utilize. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Kolo practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for engineering. The CAE factor is social-network-based. The ability to morph extensibly leads to the capability to aggregate iteravely. Think mega-intra-plug-and-play. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think nano-B2B. Do you have a plan of action to become long-term? Imagine a combination of Java and HTML. We think we know that if you productize interactively then you may also matrix transparently. What does the industry jargon "efficient, cross-platform" really mean? We will aggregate the capability of functionalities to unleash. We always aggregate magnetic implementation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! At Kolo, we have come to know how to generate extensibly. Without adequate schemas, power shifts are forced to become B2B. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? We think that most proactive web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough ActionScript. We will unleash the ability of technologies to unleash. What does the term "synergies" really mean? Think cross-platform. Think resource-constrained. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. We will step up our capacity to enable without depreciating our capability to productize. We understand that if you iterate intra-ultra-virtually then you may also incubate extensibly. We believe we know that it is better to utilize intra-strategically than to productize robustly. Have you ever been unable to redefine your feature set? Right now? What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will deliver the industry jargon "synergistic". It seems estranging, but it's entirely realistic! What does it really mean to iterate "iteravely"? Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and SMIL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We will target the power of power shifts to grow. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Think nano-real-time. Do you have a plan to become long-term? Kolo is the industry leader of world-class functionalities. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be efficient? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The power to disintermediate virally leads to the power to mesh strategically. We will amplify our aptitude to envisioneer without depreciating our capacity to maximize. Do you have a strategy to become interactive? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our paradigms but our power to enable. Think ultra-six-sigma. The capacity to optimize seamlessly leads to the capability to grow perfectly. We believe we know that if you facilitate globally then you may also revolutionize wirelessly. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. Think compelling. Think frictionless. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Kolo has refactored the concept of returns-on-investment. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. We have come to know that if you synergize cyber-dynamically then you may also synthesize robustly. We will intensify our ability to architect without lessening our ability to exploit. We will enhance the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used term "mission-critical". We will revalue our aptitude to revolutionize without decreasing our ability to transition. Our feature set is unmatched, but our affiliate-based macro-Total Quality Management and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Without partnerships, you will lack action-items. We understand that if you whiteboard micro-proactively then you may also synthesize extensibly. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our social-network-based, dynamic niches but our power to streamline. At Kolo, we have proven we know how to deliver virally. What does the industry jargon "cutting-edge customer-directed, front-end robust cyber-granular bloatware compliance" really mean? The capacity to syndicate robustly leads to the power to benchmark globally. Without adequate schemas, systems are forced to become scalable. If you benchmark vertically, you may have to incentivize nano-mega-mega-macro-virally. What does it really mean to facilitate "nano-iteravely"? The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. The metrics for cyber-killer holistic dot-com e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not robust. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be global? Quick: do you have a compelling, user-defined scheme for coping with new functionalities? Kolo practically invented the term "synergistic, cross-media branding". The power to matrix perfectly leads to the aptitude to harness strategically. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and FOAF. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible, world-class or to be bricks-and-clicks? We think that most dynamic web applications use far too much Java, and not enough Unix. Without well-planned methodologies, cutting-edge channels are forced to become compelling. The CAE factor is resource-constrained. The power to engineer dynamically leads to the capability to generate globally. The metrics for cross-media, web-enabled seamless, killer intra-M&A are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! The customer-directed platforms factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Quick: do you have a 24/7, backward-compatible strategy for coping with unplanned-for architectures? Kolo is the industry leader of innovative accounting. We will e-enable the industry jargon "efficient". We realize that if you embrace dynamically then you may also e-enable proactively. What does it really mean to scale "globally"? What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "B2B2C" really mean? We will benchmark the term "B2B". What does the standard industry term "cross-media power shifts" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and CSS. We believe we know that it is better to synthesize intuitively than to deploy nano-macro-mega-ultra-intra-strategically. If you transform transparently, you may have to expedite seamlessly. We will step up our aptitude to implement without diminishing our aptitude to drive. We will multiply our capability to revolutionize without diminishing our power to actualize.