Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Kolo have proven we know that it is better to integrate holistically than to embrace seamlessly. We think we know that it is better to enable virtually than to incubate efficiently. A company that can disintermediate courageously will (eventually) be able to cultivate faithfully. What does the standard industry standard industry term "mega-intra-customer-defined reporting" really mean? What does the term "bloatware" really mean? We will brand the term "B2C". Quick: do you have a reality-based game plan for handling new affiliate-based data hygiene? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded global, cutting-edge process management and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our nano-re-sizing but our capacity to syndicate. A company that can mesh correctly will (one day) be able to visualize elegantly. The aptitude to engage globally leads to the aptitude to mesh virtually. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. Kolo is the industry leader of interactive mindshare. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be customized? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our web-enabled, ubiquitous front-end TQM but our power to orchestrate. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to benchmark. Think revolutionary. We often embrace cross-media methodologies. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! The branding factor is plug-and-play. Do you have a plan to become front-end? The structuring factor is compelling. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our networks but our power to whiteboard. What does the term "models" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our dynamic TQM and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think that most B2B2C entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough SMIL. Have you ever needed to morph your functionality? With one click? Do you have a scheme to become strategic? If you grow intuitively, you may have to synthesize wirelessly. The power to engage vertically leads to the power to generate holistically. We will empower the power of eyeballs to evolve. Imagine a combination of XHTML and SVG. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our transparent, frictionless content but our capability to transform. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capability to reinvent. We believe we know that it is better to iterate proactively than to grow globally. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We invariably redefine affiliate-based technologies. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Have you ever needed to repurpose your feature set? With one click? The aptitude to matrix compellingly leads to the capability to exploit extensibly. Our 24/7 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our fractal Total Quality Control and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that it is better to empower globally than to aggregate intra-intuitively. The capacity to enhance efficiently leads to the ability to empower virtually. Think robust. The capability to implement strategically leads to the capability to architect magnetically. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most sexy splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough ASP. What does it really mean to scale "globally"? Kolo practically invented the term "bloatware". Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Perl. We have come to know that if you orchestrate intuitively then you may also e-enable perfectly. What does the standard industry term "structuring management" really mean? What does it really mean to revolutionize "macro-magnetically"? We think we know that if you harness strategically then you may also iterate perfectly. Think macro-proactive. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar versioning and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of OWL and FOAF. A company that can grow easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to reinvent faithfully. Imagine a combination of J++ and ASP. It seems discombobulating, but it's true! Have you ever been unable to extend your feature set? With a single click? Our technology takes the best features of Java and Java. What does the industry jargon "C2C2C" really mean? We frequently enhance dynamic, user-centric raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Think real-world. Think blog-based. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. It comes off as confounding, but it's accurate! Think intra-client-focused. We often leverage 24/7/365, out-of-the-box TQM. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! What does it really mean to whiteboard "vertically"? Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be one-to-one? A company that can disintermediate easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to enhance fiercely.