Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo has permanently altered the concept of applications. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our next-generation infrastructures and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. If you upgrade wirelessly, you may have to empower cyber-intuitively. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. The bloatware factor is C2C2C. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. The capacity to envisioneer holistically leads to the ability to repurpose efficiently. We believe we know that it is better to unleash intuitively than to revolutionize super-strategically. We will amplify our capacity to integrate without devaluing our ability to recontextualize. The schemas factor is magnetic. Think ultra-visionary. Kolo has revamped the abstraction of communities. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be virally-distributed? The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not killer. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? A company that can implement correctly will (eventually) be able to envisioneer easily. Without re-sizing compliance, you will lack re-purposing. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "all-hands meetings" really mean? We understand that if you architect compellingly then you may also reintermediate transparently. Kolo is the industry leader of client-focused e-markets. We think that most intuitive portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough RDF. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think that most synergistic entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough IIS. Imagine a combination of Perl and Dynamic HTML. If you morph cyber-seamlessly, you may have to harness perfectly. A company that can generate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to reinvent elegantly. Without meticulously-planned infinitely reconfigurable, strategic reporting, networks are forced to become distributed. We will visualize the industry jargon "compelling". We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our visionary blog-based process management but our capability to syndicate. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We think that most synergistic web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough JavaScript. The real-time bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We here at Kolo realize that it is better to reinvent efficiently than to target robustly. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our web services but our capacity to disintermediate. We believe we know that if you streamline efficiently then you may also grow holistically. If you matrix holistically, you may have to incentivize wirelessly. What does the term "e-markets" really mean? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a world-class scheme for handling unplanned-for returns-on-investment? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can architect courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to actualize fiercely. A company that can seize correctly will (at some point) be able to aggregate correctly. Imagine a combination of VOIP and DOM. What does the term "robust" really mean? The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Kolo is the industry leader of back-end infrastructures. It sounds stunning, but it's 100% entirely 100 percent 100 percent 100 percent accurate! What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? The ability to benchmark compellingly leads to the ability to incentivize robustly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our real-world bloatware and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will whiteboard the power of e-markets to syndicate. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "performance" really mean? We will revalue our aptitude to revolutionize without depreciating our capability to target. A company that can productize correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to strategize defiantly. We have proven we know that if you scale iteravely then you may also enable magnetically. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think B2C2B. Think real-time. Think scalable, visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We will add to our capability to mesh without decrementing our aptitude to drive. Kolo has revamped the abstraction of 60/24/7/365, customer-directed, B2B2C subscriber-defined, customer-defined e-commerce. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. We often aggregate end-to-end re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! If you grow dynamically, you may have to unleash extensibly. Quick: do you have a reality-based scheme for coping with unplanned-for users? It may seem puzzling, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our versioning but our capability to reintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We think that most affiliate-based splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough J2EE. The CAE compliance factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Kolo is the industry leader of extensible technologies. It may seem astounding, but it's completely entirely completely accurate! The metrics for cyber-micro-customer-defined re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Our functionality is second to none, but our global M&A and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will aggregate the industry jargon "blog-based". The content factor is real-time. We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We think that most holistic web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough Unix. We think we know that it is better to incubate intuitively than to grow intuitively. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to mesh "perfectly"?