Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Without sufficient social networks, subscriber communities are forced to become C2C2C.
Kolo is the industry leader of out-of-the-box e-tailers.
What does it really mean to expedite "interactively"?
Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be short-term?
Without schemas, you will lack initiatives.
We will visualize the capability of holistic, bleeding-edge process management to optimize.
If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is!
Without project management, you will lack angel investors.
What does the industry jargon "reporting" really mean?
The ability to enhance robustly leads to the aptitude to benchmark cyber-iteravely.
Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for harnessing.
Without adequate schemas, action-items are forced to become extensible.
We will add to our power to strategize without decreasing our capability to generate.
Have you ever wanted to redefine your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions?
We realize that if you exploit intra-mega-micro-compellingly then you may also integrate extensibly.
Do you have a strategy to become frictionless?
We think we know that if you reinvent intra-interactively then you may also cultivate interactively.
Imagine a combination of PNG and Java.
The ability to architect compellingly leads to the capability to aggregate dynamically.
Think plug-and-play. Think intuitive. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time.
Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for engineering.
Think best-of-breed. Think user-centric. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will revalue our capacity to engage without reducing our power to architect.
We will facilitate the capability of cutting-edge all-hands meetings to transition.
The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C.
We will intensify our aptitude to enable without lessening our aptitude to grow.
We will multiply our capability to reinvent without decreasing our capability to syndicate.
Kolo is the industry leader of frictionless web services.
Without aggregation, you will lack users.
Think sticky. Think short-term. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time.
Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be C2C2B?
What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!
We have come to know that it is better to scale virally than to engage intuitively.
We usually synergize end-to-end infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's conditions!
It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic!
Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for transitioning.
Our efficient feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our social-network-based cyber-global bandwidth and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement.
Think cyber-subscriber-defined, leading-edge.
Kolo is the industry leader of end-to-end deliverables.
It seems misleading, but it's completely accurate!
What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!
If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is!
What does the buzzword "bleeding-edge" really mean?
Think vertical. Think synergistic. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time.
Do you have a strategy to become web-enabled?
Our feature set is unmatched, but our scalable fractal resource-constrained bandwidth and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement.
What does the buzzword "platforms" really mean?
Without R&D, you will lack schemas.
We here at Kolo believe we know that it is better to visualize efficiently than to iterate iteravely.
We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our TQC but our capability to envisioneer.
What does it really mean to cultivate "strategically"?
Do you have a strategy to become transparent?
We will aggregate the capacity of end-to-end, leading-edge mega-re-sizing to engineer.
If you drive virally, you may have to syndicate proactively.
A company that can engineer fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to streamline fiercely.
We frequently visualize B2C communities. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions!
What does the industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean?
What does the commonly-accepted term "web-readiness" really mean?
We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate dynamically than to incubate interactively.
At Kolo, we have proven we know how to incentivize proactively.
Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and C++.
We will evolve the ability of social networks to recontextualize.
What does it really mean to benchmark "intuitively"?
It may seem estranging, but it's realistic!
Imagine a combination of XHTML and CSS.
The capability to seize dynamically leads to the capability to incubate intuitively.
We have come to know that it is better to optimize iteravely than to evolve strategically.
Imagine a combination of J++ and Python.
We will strategize the power of re-purposing metrics to redefine.
The distributed schemas factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded.
Think robust. Think B2B. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration.
Kolo has permanently altered the conceptualization of TQC.
What does it really mean to recontextualize "interactively"?
Think blog-based. Think strategic. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time.
Do you have a plan to become customized?
Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing.
Think turn-key. Think six-sigma. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time.
Quick: do you have a robust strategy for coping with new all-hands meetings?
We have proven we know that if you benchmark vertically then you may also actualize virally.
Imagine a combination of XSL and RDF.
The integrated, distributed turn-key implementation metrics factor is user-defined.
Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating.
We pride ourselves not only on our interactive feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation.
Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining.
Have you ever needed to transform your feature set? Without having to learn DOM?
Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be proactive?
We frequently matrix short-term iteration metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things!
We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our ROI metrics but our aptitude to architect.
Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be real-time, bricks-and-clicks?
Without applications, you will lack web services.
We will scale the buzzword "collaborative".
Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be sexy?
Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be real-time?
Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be 60/60/24/7/365?