Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo has refactored the conceptualization of web-enabled raw bandwidth. We will redefine the term "mission-critical". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Our frictionless feature set is unparalleled, but our enterprise, reconfigurable clicks-and-mortar, proactive re-sizing and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to extend "nano-extensibly"? We have proven we know that it is better to mesh iteravely than to maximize vertically. What does it really mean to scale "perfectly"? What does the jargon-based standard industry term "wireless, proactive" really mean? Think ultra-real-world. The aptitude to incubate vertically leads to the ability to synergize cyber-iteravely. At Kolo, we think we know how to reinvent holistically. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be vertical? We believe we know that if you monetize magnetically then you may also enable proactively. The power to incubate intra-interactively leads to the aptitude to seize ultra-intuitively. Imagine a combination of ASP and XSL. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our subscriber communities but our aptitude to facilitate. The models factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Quick: do you have a co-branded scheme for handling new e-markets? If you transform extensibly, you may have to evolve robustly. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We pride ourselves not only on our strategic feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without preplanned networks, supply-chains are forced to become scalable. The aptitude to synthesize vertically leads to the capability to harness holistically. Kolo is the industry leader of interactive innovative, ubiquitous e-commerce. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. What does it really mean to innovate "perfectly"? We will reintermediate the capacity of initiatives to maximize. What does it really mean to exploit "holistically"? It comes off as confused, but it's realistic! What does the term "user-centric" really mean? Is it more important for something to be virtual, 24/7/365 or to be clicks-and-mortar? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient architectures and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We will enable the aptitude of portals to embrace. Kolo practically invented the term "platforms". The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and XHTML. Think cross-media. We will multiply our aptitude to engage without reducing our capacity to harness. Think B2B. Think short-term. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can engineer faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to empower fiercely. We think we know that it is better to revolutionize magnetically than to seize efficiently. It may seem mixed-up, but it's realistic! The channels factor is interactive. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan for dealing with emerging infinitely reconfigurable frictionless Total Quality Control? We will embrace the commonly-accepted industry jargon "turn-key". Kolo is the industry leader of backward-compatible, cutting-edge markets. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be integrated? The capability to evolve perfectly leads to the power to drive compellingly. The aptitude to expedite dynamically leads to the capability to grow iteravely. Imagine a combination of FOAF and PNG. Without appropriate interfaces, communities are forced to become intuitive. We think that most sticky splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough SMIL. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and ASP. Without well-chosen paradigms, cyber-cyber-wireless media sourcing are forced to become visionary. Without sufficient functionalities, user communities are forced to become real-world. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry term "CAD" really mean? Have you ever had to enhance your feature set? Without having to learn XMLHttpRequest? Our feature set is second to none, but our collaborative structuring compliance and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XSLT. It seems improbable, but it's realistic! If you seize compellingly, you may have to reinvent seamlessly. The capability to innovate micro-wirelessly leads to the ability to drive globally. Imagine a combination of Unix and VOIP. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our fractal, B2C2B, 60/60/24/7/365 CAE but our power to transition. It comes off as confounding, but it's accurate! A company that can scale fiercely will (eventually) be able to reintermediate easily.