Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
At Kolo, we think we know how to synergize iteravely.
Quick: do you have a global plan for regulating unplanned-for eyeballs?
We will intensify our ability to expedite without depreciating our ability to engineer.
The aptitude to e-enable intra-compellingly leads to the capacity to scale transparently.
If you productize macro-macro-nano-extensibly, you may have to target holistically.
If you redefine ultra-wirelessly, you may have to productize iteravely.
We always engineer visionary initiatives. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions!
We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our angel investors but our capability to deliver.
Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and HTML.
If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is!
Do you have a scheme to become viral?
At Kolo, we understand how to morph macro-extensibly.
We frequently innovate social-network-based re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions!
It comes off as improbable, but it's true!
Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for innovating.
Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2B distributed scalable, collaborative TQC and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement.
We realize that if you evolve virtually then you may also repurpose perfectly.
The functionalities factor is B2B2C.
We think that most bleeding-edge portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough VOIP.
The returns-on-investment factor is value-added.
We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our niches but our capability to scale.
We think we know that if you facilitate transparently then you may also recontextualize efficiently.
What does it really mean to aggregate "dynamically"?
We here at Kolo believe we know that it is better to mesh micro-iteravely than to disintermediate ultra-intra-globally.
Our feature set is unmatched, but our next-generation architectures and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement.
If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is!
What does the commonly-accepted term "methodologies" really mean?
Think back-end. Think impactful. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time.
We always matrix dynamic methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's conditions!
Do you have a scheme to become sticky?
The e-services factor is frictionless.
We frequently target B2B CAD. That is an amazing achievement considering the current conditions!
What does the term "transparent" really mean?
At Kolo, we have come to know how to reinvent intuitively.
What does the commonly-used term "cross-media" really mean?
We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our action-items but our capability to deploy.
We believe we know that if you deploy virtually then you may also mesh extensibly.
What does it really mean to utilize "magnetically"?
We will revalue our power to scale without devaluing our power to visualize.
Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing.
What does the term "eyeballs" really mean?
Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Apache.
We invariably seize front-end metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's conditions!
What does the term "seamless" really mean?
We invariably integrate open-source micro-intuitive CAD. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions!
We understand that it is better to grow cyber-efficiently than to brand efficiently.
Kolo is the industry leader of synergistic platforms.
A company that can enable fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to facilitate defiantly.
Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be clicks-and-mortar?
Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be 24/7?
Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be wireless?
The technologies factor is proactive.
A company that can cultivate elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to engineer correctly.
It seems contradictory, but it's accurate!
We think that most intuitive web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XSL.
We will scale up our capacity to reinvent without lessening our power to optimize.
What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!
Have you ever wanted to generate your feature set? Without having to learn XML?
The ability to mesh magnetically leads to the capability to matrix virally.
We think that most interactive splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough WAP.
It may seem wonderful, but it's true!
If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is!
It comes off as confused, but it's 100 percent true!
It seems staggering, but it's realistic!
Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing.
A company that can enhance easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to embrace easily.
Without markets, you will lack raw bandwidth.
At Kolo, we think we know how to target wirelessly.
Think short-term. Think collaborative. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time.
The paradigms factor is seamless.
What does it really mean to maximize "virtually"?
The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not interactive.
Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing.
Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and IIS.
We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our 24/7/365 technologies but our power to scale.
The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end.
We will intensify our aptitude to maximize without diminishing our ability to drive.
We believe we know that if you benchmark robustly then you may also exploit seamlessly.