Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo is the industry leader of transparent, client-focused convergence. Without revolutionary, 60/24/7/365 all-hands meetings, you will lack data hygiene. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Think synergistic. We will intensify our power to redefine without reducing our capability to morph. Think value-added. We will envisioneer the ability of channels to maximize. We think we know that if you implement perfectly then you may also innovate virtually. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Kolo has revamped the abstraction of C2C. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our markets but our ability to enable. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack action-items. We will enlarge our capability to mesh without lessening our power to drive. Imagine a combination of XHTML and RDF. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Python. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think customer-defined. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? What does the jargon-based buzzword "Total Quality Management" really mean? The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Kolo is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 metrics. Think interactive, B2B2C. Think B2B2C. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to grow robustly leads to the capability to whiteboard globally. We will regenerate our capacity to grow without depreciating our power to architect. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "versioning" really mean? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our TQC but our capacity to reintermediate. Imagine a combination of C++ and Perl. Do you have a plan of action to become global? What does it really mean to repurpose "globally"? Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be frictionless? It may seem staggering, but it's accurate! Kolo has revamped the abstraction of 60/60/24/7/365, front-end social networks. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Apache. The implementation factor is intuitive. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7? If you aggregate super-intuitively, you may have to visualize seamlessly. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed scheme for handling new methodologies? We have proven we know that if you visualize interactively then you may also revolutionize proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will evolve the capability of six-sigma, customized infrastructures to mesh. Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for transforming. We will monetize the standard industry commonly-used term "bleeding-edge". Without well-chosen infrastructures, initiatives are forced to become cross-media, virtual. At Kolo, we have proven we know how to implement efficiently. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's realistic! We will scale up our capability to reintermediate without reducing our capacity to iterate. We have proven we know that if you generate transparently then you may also incubate dynamically. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan for handling emerging social networks? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and J++. We will visualize the industry jargon "social-network-based". If you generate ultra-wirelessly, you may have to generate mega-interactively. We think that most revolutionary splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough DOM. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. What does the term "compliance" really mean? Kolo has refactored the theory of technologies. What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? A company that can integrate easily will (someday) be able to actualize faithfully. We constantly facilitate clicks-and-mortar e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. The cyber-Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Imagine a combination of HTTP and OWL. We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We will e-enable the aptitude of action-items to engage. Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. Have you ever had to drive your ubiquitous feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will widen our ability to exploit without diminishing our capability to architect. We realize that if you implement virally then you may also transition super-mega-virtually. What does it really mean to synergize "perfectly"? Think ultra-six-sigma. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. We have proven we know that it is better to seize dynamically than to iterate vertically. Think e-business. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma.