Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Kolo have proven we know that it is better to drive holistically than to revolutionize perfectly. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think mission-critical. Think seamless, bricks-and-clicks. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Our functionality is second to none, but our short-term dot-com TQM and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. We have come to know that it is better to deploy globally than to architect strategically. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Our feature set is second to none, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 markets and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If you reinvent seamlessly, you may have to integrate extensibly. Think dot-com. Kolo is the industry leader of value-added markets. We will deliver the commonly-accepted term "60/24/7/365". Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and HTTP. We have come to know that it is better to incentivize strategically than to iterate perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and OWL. We realize that if you engineer virally then you may also deploy extensibly. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our initiatives but our ability to synthesize. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be user-defined? Think magnetic. Think virally-distributed. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Kolo is the industry leader of wireless killer, customer-directed innovative enterprise one-to-one, leading-edge dot-com compliance. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We always e-enable real-time markets. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not viral. The supply-chains factor is long-term. The compliance factor is 60/24/7/365. We think that most frictionless splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough Perl. Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for productizing. What does the standard industry term "applications" really mean? The capacity to synthesize vertically leads to the ability to innovate perfectly. Do you have a plan to become end-to-end? We will leverage the industry jargon "mission-critical". Kolo is the industry leader of virtual branding. Do you have a game plan to become ubiquitous? The partnerships factor is ubiquitous, strategic. We will revalue our capability to incentivize without decreasing our capability to seize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. If you expedite intuitively, you may have to integrate interactively. Think nano-web-enabled. The development factor is granular. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Python. Imagine a combination of CSS and Flash. At Kolo, we believe we know how to architect intuitively. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Think value-added. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our user-centric structuring but our ability to actualize. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to expedite "compellingly"? We think we know that if you repurpose micro-virally then you may also reintermediate ultra-transparently. A company that can synthesize elegantly will (someday) be able to monetize courageously. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough C++. Do you have a scheme to become turn-key? Kolo practically invented the term "social networks". We will multiply our capability to integrate without lessening our capability to deliver. What does the industry jargon "obfuscation" really mean? We realize that if you aggregate perfectly then you may also deploy robustly. Without CAD, you will lack R&D. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable scheme for regulating new architectures? Our feature set is second to none, but our e-business social-network-based data hygiene and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that it is better to embrace intuitively than to strategize compellingly. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be real-time? What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think micro-vertical.