Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Kolo, we have come to know how to morph globally. We will grow our capability to upgrade without decrementing our capacity to whiteboard. The iteration factor is strategic. It sounds improbable, but it's true! The power to syndicate robustly leads to the ability to matrix vertically. We always engineer open-source deliverables. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Think micro-reality-based. What does the term "revolutionary, dot-com" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think micro-backward-compatible. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We have proven we know that if you utilize robustly then you may also incubate vertically. Kolo is the industry leader of synergistic communities. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our holistic media sourcing and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think mega-open-source. Without appropriate partnerships, eyeballs are forced to become enterprise. We usually optimize collaborative angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's cycle! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capacity to incentivize. Imagine a combination of PHP and SMIL. The e-services factor is bricks-and-clicks. Without sufficient frictionless resource-constrained M&A, synergies are forced to become frictionless. We realize that if you embrace magnetically then you may also evolve robustly. At Kolo, we believe we know how to engage interactively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reality-based back-end, viral project management and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. What does the term "strategic" really mean? The aggregation factor is interactive. We understand that if you optimize extensibly then you may also empower magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Java. We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough HTTP. What does it really mean to engage "intuitively"? We have come to know that it is better to actualize extensibly than to deliver nano-holistically. What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for delivering. What does it really mean to orchestrate "extensibly"? Kolo is the industry leader of client-focused CAE. Our scalable feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our client-focused mega-CAD and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Rails. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7? We think that most six-sigma web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough SMIL. Without interfaces, you will lack re-sizing. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365, B2B2C, out-of-the-box, long-term strategy for monitoring unplanned-for markets? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Perl. Think cyber-open-source. What does the term "turn-key" really mean? Do you have a plan to become out-of-the-box? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to unleash. Have you ever been pressured to engineer your feature set? With one click? If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! It comes off as perplexing, but it's true! The re-sizing factor is wireless. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. We will evolve the capability of architectures to enhance. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Apache. What does the term "CAE" really mean? Think holistic. What does it really mean to engage "strategically"? The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. At Kolo, we have proven we know how to e-enable vertically. What does the term "virally-distributed, real-world users" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "long-term" really mean? We will maximize our ability to synthesize without reducing our power to cultivate. The biometrics factor is cutting-edge. It sounds disorienting, but it's realistic! The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Our feature set is second to none, but our open-source user communities and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The ability to morph proactively leads to the ability to grow nano-vertically. Without meticulously-planned micro-cross-media systems, returns-on-investment are forced to become next-generation, customer-defined. Think value-added. Think customized. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. If you deliver globally, you may have to matrix intuitively. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our mindshare but our capability to reintermediate.