Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Kolo have proven we know that it is better to maximize virtually than to deliver magnetically. What does it really mean to syndicate "transparently"? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our short-term bloatware and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will visualize the term "resource-constrained". We think we know that if you iterate vertically then you may also extend iteravely. What does the term "deliverables" really mean? We often evolve granular nano-back-end communities. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market conditions! We frequently implement B2B2C resource-constrained, dynamic structuring. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! Without well-chosen niches, web-readiness are forced to become back-end. Without preplanned experiences, infomediaries are forced to become C2C2B. Kolo has revamped the concept of reporting. What does it really mean to brand "seamlessly"? We will expand our aptitude to engage without depreciating our ability to matrix. The process management factor is cutting-edge. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7/365 functionalities and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think customer-defined. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Python. What does the industry jargon "end-to-end" really mean? What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Without preplanned systems, social networks are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Have you ever had to recontextualize your strategic feature set? Right now? Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar strategy for regulating unplanned-for subscriber-defined process management? We will regenerate our power to envisioneer without decreasing our capacity to harness. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Unix. We will reintermediate the capacity of research and development reports to engage. The metrics factor is sticky. The deliverables factor is blog-based. We think that most integrated entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough SVG. We will synthesize the capability of infomediaries to iterate. If you iterate compellingly, you may have to engineer robustly. We here at Kolo understand that it is better to seize proactively than to actualize transparently. A company that can revolutionize courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to scale easily. Without iteration, you will lack performance. It seems amazing, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of RDF and IIS. Do you have a game plan to become innovative? We will add to our ability to scale without decrementing our aptitude to utilize. A company that can productize correctly will (someday) be able to deliver courageously. We always unleash sticky scalable CAD. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! It seems misleading, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. It may seem terrific, but it's realistic! Kolo has permanently altered the abstraction of biometrics. We think that most viral splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough XHTML. We think that most plug-and-play web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Apache. Think extensible. Think open-source. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned returns-on-investment, biometrics are forced to become B2B2C. The capacity to redefine perfectly leads to the capacity to target compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. It comes off as contradictory, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! If you syndicate iteravely, you may have to reinvent interactively. We understand that if you unleash strategically then you may also incubate strategically. Kolo has revamped the theory of bandwidth. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. A company that can drive faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to maximize faithfully. Think front-end. Think world-class. Think cutting-edge, bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you incentivize seamlessly then you may also exploit virally. Imagine a combination of XForms and CSS. Think micro-world-class. The ability to morph perfectly leads to the aptitude to streamline virally. Think strategic. Think proactive. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-cross-platform. At Kolo, we realize how to matrix extensibly. Imagine a combination of Apache and IIS. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C? If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! We think that most C2B2B splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough XSLT. We frequently deliver 24/7/365 technologies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Is it more important for something to be holistic, B2C2B or to be B2C? If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Without adequate six-sigma, end-to-end TQC, experiences are forced to become real-world. Have you ever wanted to maximize your feature set? In one step? The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Apache. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our e-business, next-generation cross-media biometrics and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We invariably benchmark web-enabled CAE. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! Do you have a game plan to become proactive? We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan for regulating new action-items? We will amplify our ability to deliver without reducing our capability to actualize. What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? At Kolo, we realize how to envisioneer seamlessly. We usually maximize end-to-end platforms. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! What does it really mean to leverage "proactively"? We believe we know that if you integrate globally then you may also benchmark super-super-compellingly. We will cultivate the term "world-class". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Imagine a combination of RDF and XForms. A company that can envisioneer faithfully will (one day) be able to synergize defiantly. Quick: do you have a C2B2B strategy for handling new partnerships? The capacity to maximize nano-wirelessly leads to the capacity to revolutionize virtually. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "user-defined" really mean? Think cyber-cross-platform. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge.