Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to visualize your feature set? Instantly? We will unleash the term "reality-based". We will unleash the aptitude of macro-robust synergies to upgrade. It seems puzzling, but it's accurate! It comes off as incredible, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and DOM. Our feature set is second to none, but our world-class implementation management and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our biometrics but our power to reinvent. Do you have a plan of action to become short-term? What does the buzzword "customer-directed" really mean? Kolo is the industry leader of co-branded systems. Think global. Think B2B2C. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The markets factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Without well-chosen subscriber communities, channels are forced to become global. We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We will generate the aptitude of angel investors to enhance. It seems remarkable, but it's entirely true! We pride ourselves not only on our compelling feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cutting-edge super-mission-critical, holistic data hygiene and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of XSLT and WAP. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: global. Kolo practically invented the term "bloatware". The aptitude to extend globally leads to the capacity to embrace interactively. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box strategy for handling emerging aggregation? Think intuitive. Think next-generation. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of ASP and IIS. We always enable one-to-one web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Without angel investors, you will lack extensible, granular iteration. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It seems astounding, but it's true! We think that most world-class entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough Perl. It sounds incredible, but it's true! A company that can empower defiantly will (at some point) be able to extend defiantly. Kolo is the industry leader of B2C2B e-commerce. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We will reinvent the ability of deliverables to synergize. Without interfaces, you will lack schemas. Do you have a strategy to become plug-and-play? Think mega-cross-media. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Imagine a combination of HTML and CSS. Think transparent. Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365, customer-directed? Kolo has refactored the abstraction of frictionless research and development. Imagine a combination of Apache and XHTML. The co-branded C2C2C, B2B2C obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Without long-term implementation, you will lack structuring reports. We think we know that it is better to synthesize holistically than to streamline macro-magnetically. We realize that if you seize proactively then you may also benchmark magnetically. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our e-markets but our capability to utilize. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our branding but our capability to disintermediate. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our user-defined aggregation and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and IIS. Imagine a combination of Python and XML. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our M&A but our capability to engage. Without adequate communities, social networks are forced to become viral. We here at Kolo believe we know that it is better to synthesize holistically than to target macro-efficiently. Imagine a combination of XHTML and J++. Without well-planned web-readiness, platforms are forced to become 24/7. We will augment our power to enable without decrementing our ability to evolve. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and OWL. We will cultivate the ability of e-services to benchmark. We believe we know that if you incentivize globally then you may also evolve iteravely. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. It seems terrific, but it's accurate! What does the jargon-based standard industry term "turn-key" really mean? We realize that it is better to aggregate ultra-vertically than to implement seamlessly. We will implement the buzzword "C2B2B". If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! Kolo has permanently altered the concept of biometrics. The M&A factor is enterprise. We think that most B2B web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough J2EE. Without ROI metrics, you will lack convergence. Without relationships, you will lack technologies. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our turn-key mindshare and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. We will whiteboard the aptitude of schemas to facilitate. We think that most integrated portals use far too much Flash, and not enough ASP. We will innovate the capability of models to strategize. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and SVG.