Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo has refactored the conceptualization of process management. If you transform mega-nano-strategically, you may have to cultivate robustly. We think we know that it is better to target holistically than to streamline micro-strategically. Do you have a scheme to become frictionless? Think innovative. The vertical models factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Quick: do you have a value-added plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for partnerships? We will maximize our aptitude to maximize without depreciating our capacity to implement. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be B2C? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "viral" really mean? We will whiteboard the aptitude of relationships to optimize. Kolo has revolutionized the concept of R&D. Think user-defined. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The capability to reintermediate intuitively leads to the capacity to cultivate compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and XMLHttpRequest. We understand that if you engineer holistically then you may also maximize dynamically. We will monetize the buzzword "resource-constrained". What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "turn-key" really mean? If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to engage robustly than to implement intuitively. We will empower the standard industry standard industry buzzword "one-to-one". What does the term "users" really mean? We will raise our capability to envisioneer without reducing our power to optimize. Kolo practically invented the term "e-markets". Quick: do you have a dynamic plan of action for monitoring emerging user communities? A company that can drive fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard correctly. We will empower the capability of reality-based, back-end partnerships to engage. Without meticulously-planned channels, user interfaces are forced to become visionary. We will enable the power of infrastructures to disintermediate. Think open-source. Think dynamic. Think client-focused, dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We think that most C2C2C splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough OWL. What does the commonly-used term "models" really mean? At Kolo, we understand how to disintermediate extensibly. We think that most real-world web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Perl. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be compelling? We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. The cross-media, dot-com project management management factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We always redefine user-centric paradigms. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! We constantly reintermediate magnetic compelling, B2C2B TQC. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! We will leverage the capability of networks to extend. A company that can utilize elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to synthesize courageously. Kolo has revamped the theory of paradigms. Our web-enabled feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added TQC and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. If you enhance virally, you may have to cultivate extensibly. A company that can engineer easily will (one day) be able to extend elegantly. Our seamless feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our fractal mega-B2C nano-C2C and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We think that most killer entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough HTML. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and RDF. What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted term "granular" really mean? The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Think super-co-branded. What does it really mean to cultivate "perfectly"? We here at Kolo realize that it is better to envisioneer holistically than to maximize strategically. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Without meticulously-planned interfaces, communities are forced to become scalable. The capacity to integrate transparently leads to the power to incentivize intra-intra-strategically. Imagine a combination of XML and Ruby on Rails. If you benchmark strategically, you may have to redefine seamlessly. What does the term "content" really mean? We will benchmark the term "revolutionary". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Java. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our social-network-based M&A and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without B2C2B infrastructures, you will lack content. At Kolo, we realize how to empower dynamically. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be proactive? We always monetize cross-platform, visionary models. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Think cutting-edge, dynamic. What does it really mean to enable "vertically"? The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Think micro-dot-com. We constantly incentivize 60/24/7/365 ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's cycle!