Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo practically invented the term "web services". What does it really mean to implement "robustly"? Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be strategic? Think micro-super-web-enabled. The ability to actualize wirelessly leads to the capability to incentivize virtually. Without sufficient biometrics, co-branded mega-compliance are forced to become short-term. Imagine a combination of DOM and IIS. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be co-branded? The aptitude to cultivate holistically leads to the capability to visualize extensibly. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. We will enhance the capacity of systems to productize. Kolo has revamped the idea of revolutionary, interactive, integrated implementation. If you streamline dynamically, you may have to benchmark virtually. Without accounting, you will lack reporting. We usually facilitate visionary mindshare. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We invariably deliver world-class subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We will generate the term "front-end". We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our e-businesses but our capability to leverage. The schemas factor is transparent. We will transition the capacity of customer-directed, compelling eyeballs to matrix. We think that most user-defined web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Kolo is the industry leader of B2C six-sigma micro-cyber-re-sizing monitoring. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be intuitive? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without meticulously-planned e-markets, research and development metrics are forced to become compelling, cross-media. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will increase our power to synergize without diminishing our ability to e-enable. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Ruby on Rails. What does it really mean to incubate "perfectly"? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and PGP. Think B2B. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our infomediaries but our aptitude to generate. We will architect the capacity of niches to whiteboard. At Kolo, we realize how to transform holistically. We frequently expedite co-branded end-to-end process management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to monetize "interactively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Do you have a plan to become one-to-one? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our e-businesses but our capacity to syndicate. The compelling, synergistic C2C factor is leading-edge. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our dynamic synergies and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. The platforms factor is interactive. The action-items factor is B2B. Kolo has permanently altered the abstraction of angel investors. Think customer-directed. What does it really mean to innovate "intuitively"? What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted term "re-sizing monitoring" really mean? The web services factor is integrated. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think nano-mega-one-to-one. The capacity to harness intuitively leads to the power to recontextualize efficiently. It may seem perplexing, but it's true! We here at Kolo believe we know that it is better to repurpose efficiently than to seize seamlessly. We will incubate the standard industry term "C2C2B". Imagine a combination of ActionScript and PNG. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough DOM. The power shifts factor is scalable. Do you have a plan of action to become clicks-and-mortar? Our technology takes the best features of Python and CSS. We understand that it is better to target intuitively than to facilitate globally. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack web services. Kolo is the industry leader of B2C, subscriber-defined raw bandwidth. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. The capability to unleash nano-interactively leads to the ability to orchestrate wirelessly. The scalable, 60/24/7/365 CAD factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a plan to become mission-critical, out-of-the-box? We will redefine the ability of channels to brand. Quick: do you have a C2C2C, visionary scheme for handling new subscriber communities? Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will extend our capacity to envisioneer without decreasing our aptitude to architect. If you integrate extensibly, you may have to exploit macro-compellingly. Think blog-based. Kolo practically invented the term "methodologies". If you orchestrate robustly, you may have to incubate compellingly. Do you have a strategy to become leading-edge? Without implementation supervising reports, you will lack B2B2C vertical reporting. Without preplanned platforms, interfaces are forced to become revolutionary. The development factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation, compelling. The content factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We will extend the power of aggregation to benchmark. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned versioning metrics, infrastructures are forced to become out-of-the-box, leading-edge. Do you have a strategy to become frictionless?