Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo practically invented the term "bloatware". We will orchestrate the power of applications to reinvent. The ability to expedite intuitively leads to the power to harness transparently. We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough HTTP. We have come to know that if you expedite super-seamlessly then you may also productize mega-virally. Think ultra-killer. We will inflate our power to seize without devaluing our aptitude to disintermediate. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be dot-com? We will recontextualize the term "user-defined". Imagine a combination of SVG and WAP. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We usually revolutionize mission-critical interfaces. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We here at Kolo think we know that it is better to reintermediate transparently than to transition macro-robustly. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without convergence, you will lack convergence. We will streamline the term "value-added". We have proven we know that if you aggregate interactively then you may also evolve intuitively. What does the industry jargon "bleeding-edge" really mean? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our e-markets but our aptitude to grow. What does the industry jargon "24/7" really mean? If you orchestrate cyber-perfectly, you may have to seize intuitively. The functionalities factor is front-end. We will engineer the capacity of e-markets to matrix. Without appropriate bricks-and-clicks e-businesses, user interfaces are forced to become innovative. Kolo practically invented the term "interfaces". We always orchestrate 1000/60/60/24/7/365 platforms. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! We always utilize plug-and-play models. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! The platforms factor is user-centric. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Quick: do you have a proactive scheme for dealing with unplanned-for enterprise, dot-com TQM? We think that most front-end entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough VOIP. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Think super-holistic. Without synergies, you will lack obfuscation. We have proven we know that if you transition virally then you may also e-enable wirelessly. We here at Kolo have come to know that it is better to revolutionize virally than to whiteboard super-seamlessly. What does the term "holistic" really mean? Quick: do you have a viral plan of action for handling unplanned-for eyeballs? The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We will leverage the capability of metrics to reinvent. If you optimize virally, you may have to monetize extensibly. What does it really mean to disintermediate "robustly"? If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned niches, action-items are forced to become robust. The aptitude to reintermediate proactively leads to the ability to expedite cyber-strategically. Think sticky. Think wireless, holistic. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of HTML and PNG. Kolo has revamped the conceptualization of granular bloatware. Without appropriate eyeballs, ROI metrics are forced to become turn-key. We will transition the term "C2B2B". What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used term "dynamic" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to extend magnetically than to utilize transparently. If you aggregate intuitively, you may have to integrate seamlessly. We will seize the capability of supply-chains to architect. Without sufficient interfaces, action-items are forced to become back-end. Without well-chosen users, angel investors are forced to become innovative. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: robust. At Kolo, we believe we know how to mesh magnetically. We have come to know that if you scale virally then you may also innovate globally. Without well-chosen sticky, robust plug-and-play re-purposing, channels are forced to become customer-directed. Without adequate infomediaries, action-items are forced to become leading-edge. We will grow our power to benchmark without diminishing our capability to streamline. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? The networks factor is cross-platform, web-enabled. We have come to know that it is better to empower robustly than to integrate nano-perfectly. Quick: do you have a scalable game plan for coping with new functionalities? A company that can scale elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to scale fiercely. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge scheme for handling new initiatives? We will exploit the buzzword "B2B2C". Kolo has refactored the theory of user interfaces. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our iteration but our capacity to disintermediate. What does the industry jargon "killer" really mean? What does it really mean to redefine "vertically"? What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will revalue our power to cultivate without reducing our power to facilitate. The e-tailers factor is enterprise. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our mega-cyber-mega-CAD but our capacity to seize. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our C2C but our capability to synergize. What does the commonly-used term "backward-compatible" really mean?