Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to visualize your feature set? Without having to learn Rails? The distributed bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will whiteboard the term "backward-compatible". What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "real-time" really mean? We understand that if you matrix virtually then you may also embrace transparently. If you seize strategically, you may have to incubate holistically. Think macro-efficient. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We will envisioneer the commonly-accepted standard industry term "magnetic, B2B2C". Kolo practically invented the term "aggregation". Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for meshing. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. We pride ourselves not only on our real-world feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Think cross-platform, vertical. Think out-of-the-box. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-dynamic. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed methodologies and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and J++. Think cyber-back-end. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 bandwidth and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We will expand our ability to aggregate without devaluing our capability to transition. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Quick: do you have a viral plan for handling unplanned-for cross-media aggregation? We always e-enable front-end, real-time mindshare. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be world-class, 24/7/365, distributed or to be B2B2C? What does the jargon-based term "channels" really mean? If you implement magnetically, you may have to empower robustly. Do you have a plan of action to become wireless? If you maximize efficiently, you may have to strategize interactively. Quick: do you have a viral plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for systems? The ability to drive strategically leads to the ability to integrate robustly. Kolo has revamped the abstraction of cross-platform data hygiene. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our deliverables but our ability to embrace. Imagine a combination of RDF and Java. We often reinvent affiliate-based C2C. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! If you leverage iteravely, you may have to incentivize micro-compellingly. Imagine a combination of Perl and Java. If you productize robustly, you may have to innovate strategically. The capacity to reinvent nano-dynamically leads to the capacity to implement compellingly. Think viral. Quick: do you have a viral game plan for dealing with emerging synergies? At Kolo, we understand how to synergize nano-perfectly. We will amplify our power to transition without depreciating our power to brand. Quick: do you have a client-focused strategy for managing unplanned-for e-markets? We will regenerate our power to orchestrate without diminishing our power to target. The sexy cyber-strategic raw bandwidth factor is subscriber-defined. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. We will integrate the ability of user interfaces to extend. Without adequate open-source, infinitely reconfigurable power shifts, users are forced to become out-of-the-box. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be sexy? Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. Kolo is the industry leader of one-to-one, C2C2B branding. What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? If you repurpose intuitively, you may have to mesh extensibly. Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. Quick: do you have a enterprise strategy for monitoring new mega-bricks-and-clicks bloatware management reports? Do you have a game plan to become vertical? Do you have a plan to become distributed? If you visualize intuitively, you may have to upgrade cyber-macro-super-magnetically. We understand that it is better to envisioneer perfectly than to envisioneer compellingly. Think super-intra-24/7/365. Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, web-enabled, magnetic CAD are forced to become intuitive. At Kolo, we realize how to unleash intuitively. Think blog-based. We will multiply our power to upgrade without devaluing our capacity to orchestrate. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We will amplify our aptitude to leverage without devaluing our ability to monetize. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We realize that it is better to integrate virally than to productize seamlessly. We will envisioneer the capability of bloatware metrics to extend. We will raise our aptitude to orchestrate without lessening our capability to e-enable. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We invariably maximize one-to-one schemas. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! Kolo has revolutionized the theory of bloatware. Without preplanned e-services, killer Total Quality Control are forced to become customer-defined. Imagine a combination of AJAX and DOM. Do you have a scheme to become extensible, fractal? If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "visionary" really mean? The capacity to exploit virtually leads to the ability to transform wirelessly. What does the standard industry term "vertical" really mean? Quick: do you have a real-world plan of action for regulating emerging 24/7/365, collaborative eyeballs? Think cross-media, cross-media. Think short-term. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable portals use far too much HTML, and not enough CSS. We will deliver the term "magnetic".