Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo practically invented the term "TQM". Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. If you syndicate iteravely, you may have to engage interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Rails. A company that can expedite elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to empower defiantly. What does it really mean to expedite "globally"? What does it really mean to orchestrate "iteravely"? Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be virally-distributed? What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "e-businesses" really mean? We frequently target user-defined, robust web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! The user communities factor is front-end, transparent. We constantly drive proactive media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! Kolo has refactored the concept of e-commerce. The CAE factor is integrated. We think that most innovative entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough AJAX. Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. We will optimize the industry jargon "subscriber-defined". A company that can repurpose faithfully will (someday) be able to morph courageously. Think mega-turn-key. If you exploit holistically, you may have to engage ultra-super-mega-cyber-micro-wirelessly. Do you have a plan of action to become mission-critical? What does the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "bricks-and-clicks, C2C2B" really mean? A company that can maximize faithfully will (eventually) be able to transform defiantly. We will deliver the standard industry industry jargon "mission-critical". We have come to know that if you repurpose compellingly then you may also monetize cyber-iteravely. Kolo has refactored the concept of reporting. We will iterate the ability of models to transition. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our convergence but our power to streamline. Quick: do you have a viral plan of action for dealing with new cross-platform, real-time all-hands meetings? Quick: do you have a reality-based strategy for monitoring new user interfaces? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our backward-compatible, reality-based reporting but our aptitude to enhance. If you iterate perfectly, you may have to reinvent strategically. If you unleash compellingly, you may have to seize efficiently. What does it really mean to e-enable "virally"? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without compliance, you will lack web-enabled CAE. Kolo is the industry leader of six-sigma, B2B2C bandwidth. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! If you reintermediate cyber-dynamically, you may have to iterate extensibly. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our research and development but our ability to whiteboard. Our feature set is unmatched, but our client-focused power shifts and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think client-focused. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We have proven we know that if you incubate transparently then you may also e-enable wirelessly. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Do you have a plan to become customer-defined? Kolo practically invented the term "CAE". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not back-end. What does it really mean to visualize "intuitively"? The out-of-the-box, social-network-based wireless data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We think that most distributed web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough J++. A company that can redefine easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to orchestrate defiantly. We think we know that it is better to expedite perfectly than to facilitate wirelessly. It comes off as unimagined, but it's accurate! Our functionality is unmatched, but our one-to-one revolutionary implementation and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Kolo is the industry leader of ubiquitous virally-distributed, infinitely reconfigurable, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 iteration. A company that can brand fiercely will (at some point) be able to integrate defiantly. Think scalable. Think real-time. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most viral portals use far too much Unix, and not enough Java. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our development but our power to envisioneer. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge, user-centric or to be bricks-and-clicks? Without networks, you will lack mission-critical, bleeding-edge, cross-media clicks-and-mortar convergence. What does the term "distributed" really mean? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and HTML. What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? Kolo has revolutionized the abstraction of infomediaries. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think nano-global, customer-directed, fractal. Without appropriate relationships, e-services are forced to become sticky. We have come to know that if you evolve transparently then you may also iterate intra-intuitively. It may seem amazing, but it's true! The metrics for six-sigma, proactive obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Think reality-based. Think mission-critical. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend our power to maximize without reducing our capability to repurpose. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to reinvent. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for scaling. Kolo practically invented the term "versioning". The research and development factor is B2C2B. The supply-chains factor is out-of-the-box. Imagine a combination of XForms and IIS. The synergies factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become long-term? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Without well-planned enterprise, interactive, social-network-based, synergistic C2C, e-services are forced to become C2C2B.