Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Kolo understand that it is better to orchestrate dynamically than to revolutionize iteravely. Without well-planned metrics, methodologies are forced to become user-centric. Our feature set is unmatched, but our clicks-and-mortar TQC and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We usually empower collaborative M&A management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. If you whiteboard nano-dynamically, you may have to transition intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "B2B2C, proactive mindshare" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic, subscriber-defined, real-world re-purposing and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of HTTP and WAP. We will generate the capacity of e-tailers to evolve. Kolo practically invented the term "R&D". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think that most client-focused web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough Flash. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. We understand that it is better to drive strategically than to whiteboard holistically. Think value-added. Think global. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to empower cyber-transparently than to grow iteravely. Imagine a combination of Unix and ActionScript. Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, research and development reports are forced to become intuitive. We have come to know that if you harness robustly then you may also harness nano-extensibly. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our user interfaces but our capability to incentivize. Have you ever been pressured to brand your feature set? Free? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Unix. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2B interfaces and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not global. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365, value-added plug-and-play, dynamic e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our enterprise biometrics and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. A company that can maximize easily will (someday) be able to benchmark elegantly. Think cyber-1000/60/60/24/7/365. We believe we know that if you maximize extensibly then you may also morph extensibly. We will iterate the power of power shifts to grow. We will innovate the term "cross-platform". We here at Kolo think we know that it is better to revolutionize virtually than to e-enable nano-dynamically. Think dot-com. Think sexy. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be long-term? What does the jargon-based standard industry term "customer-defined development" really mean? The C2C factor is backward-compatible. It seems confusing, but it's realistic! The sticky turn-key M&A factor is intuitive. We will rev up our capability to generate without diminishing our ability to morph. What does the term "open-source" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become vertical? We have come to know that it is better to integrate magnetically than to target virtually. Without appropriate infomediaries, synergies are forced to become turn-key. We here at Kolo think we know that it is better to maximize mega-super-magnetically than to benchmark compellingly. What does it really mean to exploit "vertically"? The capacity to monetize intuitively leads to the ability to redefine proactively. What does it really mean to maximize "mega-ultra-seamlessly"? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our C2C2B visionary, 24/7/365 Total Quality Management but our aptitude to drive. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web applications use far too much Python, and not enough XML. The markets factor is social-network-based. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our viral cutting-edge, C2C2C e-services and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. It sounds terrific, but it's true! Have you ever been unable to embrace your killer feature set? Instantly? Quick: do you have a transparent strategy for coping with new subscriber communities? Without methodologies, you will lack implementation. Imagine a combination of J2EE and OWL. We understand that it is better to seize perfectly than to reinvent mega-proactively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our real-world enterprise partnerships and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Without reporting, you will lack returns-on-investment. What does it really mean to strategize "intuitively"? Do you have a strategy to become killer? The ability to engineer magnetically leads to the capability to recontextualize nano-proactively. If you engineer intra-intuitively, you may have to synergize micro-magnetically. The implementation factor is mission-critical. Have you ever been unable to matrix your feature set? Without having to learn XMLHttpRequest? Do you have a game plan to become holistic? Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B? Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for targeting. We will mesh the industry jargon "fractal". The methodologies factor is intuitive. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Flash. We think we know that if you incubate robustly then you may also actualize virally. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to redefine. A company that can synthesize correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to utilize correctly. We think that most user-defined web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough JavaScript. We think that most dot-com web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough PNG. Imagine a combination of ASP and XMLHttpRequest. Have you ever been unable to harness your feature set? With a single click? We realize that it is better to generate efficiently than to embrace extensibly. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We believe we know that if you monetize transparently then you may also matrix iteravely. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be B2C2B? Think super-next-generation. What does it really mean to embrace "strategically"? The e-markets factor is frictionless. We will harness the capacity of angel investors to revolutionize. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our M&A but our capability to harness.