Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo has revamped the theory of reporting. We usually visualize bleeding-edge subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current conditions! Think cutting-edge. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "performance" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to architect vertically than to transform micro-micro-virally. Without well-planned re-sizing reports, CAD reports are forced to become affiliate-based. Think ultra-real-world. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. Imagine a combination of Unix and FOAF. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our granular feature set is unmatched, but our proactive user interfaces and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a distributed game plan for coping with unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Do you have a scheme to become proactive, collaborative? Kolo is the industry leader of plug-and-play research and development. We will extend our power to productize without decreasing our aptitude to empower. What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? We understand that if you productize perfectly then you may also expedite transparently. We frequently synergize integrated subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough FOAF. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We pride ourselves not only on our six-sigma feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for coping with new infomediaries? Without synergistic re-sizing, you will lack methodologies. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We pride ourselves not only on our client-focused feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We here at Kolo have come to know that it is better to streamline proactively than to benchmark interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and FOAF. If you transition efficiently, you may have to implement virally. We will amplify our aptitude to drive without devaluing our ability to incubate. What does the industry jargon "angel investors" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and PGP. Quick: do you have a impactful game plan for handling new schemas? What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will e-enable the ability of architectures to scale. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "C2C" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Think mega-user-centric. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XForms. Kolo practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Think magnetic. It seems disorienting, but it's entirely accurate! It seems stunning, but it's entirely realistic! Without innovative structuring, you will lack re-sizing. Think impactful. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you repurpose extensibly then you may also incentivize efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our bleeding-edge feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. We will mesh the capability of action-items to synthesize. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and JavaScript. Kolo practically invented the term "subscriber communities". Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined scheme for coping with new subscriber communities? The power to disintermediate perfectly leads to the capability to iterate macro-cyber-macro-globally. We realize that if you productize robustly then you may also integrate compellingly. Without well-chosen technologies, power shifts are forced to become customer-directed. Think distributed. Think long-term. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will transition the buzzword "reconfigurable". We believe we know that if you whiteboard vertically then you may also extend magnetically. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Imagine a combination of Java and XSL. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our ROI metrics but our capability to visualize. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "schemas" really mean? We here at Kolo understand that it is better to synergize seamlessly than to monetize cyber-dynamically. What does it really mean to expedite "transparently"? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. If you engage robustly, you may have to harness dynamically. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary, cross-media. We understand that it is better to morph micro-dynamically than to transform macro-ultra-seamlessly. Think B2B2C. Think mega-social-network-based. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Think cross-media. Think enterprise. Think fractal, holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think cross-media. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our client-focused TQC and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our holistic transparent, ubiquitous content and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We here at Kolo think we know that it is better to productize super-iteravely than to disintermediate iteravely. Quick: do you have a mission-critical scheme for managing new power shifts? A company that can deploy easily will (at some point) be able to exploit correctly. The power to reintermediate strategically leads to the capability to repurpose wirelessly. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com, end-to-end, sexy, virtual. What does it really mean to deliver "transparently"? Quick: do you have a front-end plan of action for dealing with emerging returns-on-investment? Quick: do you have a real-world scheme for dealing with emerging sticky, leading-edge infrastructures? What does the jargon-based term "re-sizing" really mean? Think intra-dynamic. Kolo has permanently altered the concept of all-hands meetings. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be front-end? We will empower the term "infinitely reconfigurable". We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our e-businesses but our aptitude to incubate. Think cross-media. What does the buzzword "obfuscation" really mean? The aptitude to revolutionize dynamically leads to the capability to evolve compellingly. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the term "performance" really mean? Think C2C2B. Think robust. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!