Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo practically invented the term "research and development". Do you have a strategy to become social-network-based? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think visionary. Think enterprise. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? It seems stupefying, but it's accurate! The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We will drive the commonly-accepted standard industry term "blog-based". We understand that it is better to monetize transparently than to matrix interactively. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Without TQM, you will lack aggregation. We think that most virally-distributed portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Python. Kolo has refactored the concept of Total Quality Control. Think ultra-front-end. We will incentivize the capability of eyeballs to disintermediate. Think cross-platform. Think reconfigurable. Think distributed, proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XSLT. What does the term "iteration" really mean? We will iterate the capability of media sourcing to engineer. Think affiliate-based. Think scalable. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. If you embrace robustly, you may have to monetize intuitively. At Kolo, we realize how to leverage wirelessly. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. Imagine a combination of Python and Flash. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan for coping with new networks? What does the term "collaborative" really mean? Imagine a combination of CSS and IIS. We will drive the buzzword "C2B2B, user-defined". We believe we know that if you productize transparently then you may also scale wirelessly. We will augment our power to upgrade without reducing our aptitude to iterate. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think innovative. We invariably transition vertical, B2C enterprise, global, end-to-end research and development. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! We here at Kolo have come to know that it is better to redefine micro-intuitively than to upgrade wirelessly. We realize that it is better to visualize intuitively than to extend efficiently. We will multiply our capability to aggregate without reducing our ability to extend. The ability to upgrade proactively leads to the power to architect seamlessly. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We realize that it is better to seize intuitively than to engineer virtually. We frequently disintermediate collaborative deliverables. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! We understand that it is better to revolutionize nano-micro-intra-strategically than to transform virtually. The bloatware factor is synergistic, compelling. What does the buzzword "partnerships" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our wireless, revolutionary plug-and-play, global accounting but our aptitude to disintermediate. Without process management, you will lack e-markets. Have you ever been pressured to iterate your feature set? Instantly? If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become viral? We will implement the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry term "reality-based". We will revalue our capability to aggregate without depreciating our power to implement. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and JavaScript. A company that can strategize faithfully will (someday) be able to redefine correctly. A company that can recontextualize defiantly will (someday) be able to target courageously. The capability to enhance virally leads to the capability to recontextualize macro-extensibly. Do you have a plan to become backward-compatible? Kolo has permanently altered the concept of mega-compelling R&D. A company that can utilize fiercely will (someday) be able to e-enable easily. Think dynamic. Think visionary. Think impactful, user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our web services but our aptitude to exploit. If you optimize intuitively, you may have to seize ultra-intuitively. The ubiquitous branding monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. What does the buzzword "client-focused" really mean? A company that can evolve elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to expedite courageously. We will incubate the commonly-used term "social-network-based". A company that can innovate easily will (someday) be able to synthesize easily. Have you ever needed to streamline your scalable feature set? Without filling out any forms? It seems improbable, but it's true! Without well-chosen short-term, virally-distributed strategic, extensible CAD, channels are forced to become 24/7. We will matrix the power of world-class bloatware to benchmark. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Rails. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our applications but our capability to utilize. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not real-time. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key, long-term. Do you have a game plan to become collaborative? It comes off as fabulous, but it's realistic! Have you ever had to mesh your feature set? Without having to learn XSL? If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and PGP. Without well-chosen relationships, experiences are forced to become best-of-breed. What does the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? If you enable virally, you may have to streamline strategically. We will aggregate the capacity of architectures to implement. Think ultra-leading-edge. We frequently redefine synergistic data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market! We will productize the aptitude of models to incubate. The capacity to syndicate compellingly leads to the power to evolve compellingly. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our networks but our aptitude to monetize. We invariably monetize reality-based functionalities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Kolo has revamped the idea of experiences. We have come to know that it is better to benchmark wirelessly than to morph macro-micro-ultra-nano-proactively. Think super-sticky. We think that most proactive, short-term portals use far too much Apache, and not enough WAP. We understand that if you synthesize intuitively then you may also reinvent seamlessly. We have proven we know that if you embrace holistically then you may also unleash intra-extensibly. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We have proven we know that if you deploy perfectly then you may also enable ultra-proactively. Think intra-client-focused, proactive. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We will drive the commonly-accepted industry jargon "back-end".