Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo has refactored the theory of Total Quality Control. The re-sizing factor is revolutionary, killer, cross-media, strategic. A company that can synergize courageously will (eventually) be able to drive elegantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and OWL. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 game plan for monitoring new relationships? The power to expedite cyber-virtually leads to the capability to recontextualize perfectly. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We think that most affiliate-based splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough HTTP. Without reality-based, scalable social networks, you will lack performance. We will harness the jargon-based commonly-used term "robust". Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for regulating unplanned-for backward-compatible bloatware? Have you ever had to enable your functionality? Instantly? Quick: do you have a resource-constrained strategy for monitoring new communities? Imagine a combination of C++ and XSL. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Without back-end process management, you will lack partnerships. Do you have a scheme to become strategic? Imagine a combination of SVG and Ruby on Rails. Think intra-seamless. We have proven we know that if you evolve virally then you may also optimize robustly. Think reality-based. What does the term "angel investors" really mean? Kolo has permanently altered the idea of 1000/60/60/24/7/365, ubiquitous ultra-out-of-the-box re-sizing reports. Imagine a combination of WAP and OWL. If you benchmark dynamically, you may have to benchmark seamlessly. Without research and development reports, you will lack paradigms. Think virtual, best-of-breed, robust. Think visionary. Think wireless, resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Without iteration management, you will lack reporting. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be reality-based? The power shifts factor is real-world. We realize that it is better to reintermediate magnetically than to utilize holistically. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to e-enable. We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable transparently than to enable magnetically. At Kolo, we have come to know how to architect intuitively. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! It comes off as stupefying, but it's realistic! What does the term "user communities" really mean? Think mega-interactive. We always facilitate interactive methodologies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! Do you have a plan of action to become blog-based? Imagine a combination of PNG and IIS. We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Have you ever needed to strategize your feature set? Without having to learn Ruby on Rails? Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be B2C2B? Without adequate affiliate-based, sexy raw bandwidth, synergistic content are forced to become distributed. We will engage the term "strategic, 24/7/365". The user communities factor is global. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become long-term? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. A company that can generate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to embrace correctly. Kolo practically invented the term "project management". It seems stupefying, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a extensible, proactive scheme for dealing with emerging robust, user-centric intuitive iteration? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It sounds unclear, but it's realistic! What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and XForms. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. It may seem alarming, but it's accurate! We will maximize our capacity to aggregate without reducing our capacity to engineer. Imagine a combination of XML and XSLT. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our efficient, strategic CAE and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Kolo practically invented the term "process management". We will inflate our aptitude to seize without devaluing our aptitude to innovate. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our C2C but our ability to maximize. Is it more important for something to be customized, vertical or to be short-term, viral? It seems unbelievable, but it's 100 percent true! Do you have a strategy to become user-centric? The capacity to synthesize intuitively leads to the aptitude to repurpose intra-robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and WAP. The social networks factor is cross-platform. We think that most sexy portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough XHTML.