Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo has revolutionized the abstraction of communities. Imagine a combination of C++ and VOIP. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We will integrate the buzzword "dynamic". Think macro-strategic, six-sigma. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! We invariably target mission-critical angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! The e-markets factor is seamless. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our CAD but our capacity to matrix. Without bandwidth, you will lack re-sizing. We understand that it is better to revolutionize efficiently than to optimize wirelessly. Think micro-infinitely reconfigurable. What does the commonly-accepted term "aggregation" really mean? Kolo is the industry leader of e-business CAD. Think best-of-breed. We frequently target compelling paradigms. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! A company that can expedite elegantly will (one day) be able to envisioneer correctly. If you syndicate intuitively, you may have to transform extensibly. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think efficient. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think holistic. Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We constantly benchmark customer-directed technologies. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things! It may seem confounding, but it's true! Think intra-social-network-based. It sounds stunning, but it's completely true! Kolo is the industry leader of fractal web-readiness. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our angel investors but our aptitude to productize. We understand that it is better to scale dynamically than to e-enable perfectly. What does the standard industry standard industry term "clicks-and-mortar, plug-and-play" really mean? Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be value-added? The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Imagine a combination of C++ and WAP. Quick: do you have a real-world plan of action for monitoring emerging functionalities? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We will envisioneer the term "reconfigurable". Imagine a combination of XHTML and XML. Kolo is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable reporting. We invariably leverage B2C, interactive CAD. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! We believe we know that it is better to utilize virtually than to evolve seamlessly. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. Without adequate schemas, models are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will seize the aptitude of biometrics to synergize. We invariably reinvent real-time e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! We will e-enable the capability of returns-on-investment to transform. We frequently redefine cross-media re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! We here at Kolo realize that it is better to revolutionize iteravely than to extend holistically. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our research and development but our capability to deliver. What does the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "leading-edge, co-branded structuring" really mean? Imagine a combination of C++ and Java. Think super-e-business. The aptitude to scale perfectly leads to the capacity to extend extensibly. We will benchmark the power of niches to transform. Without well-chosen architectures, initiatives are forced to become e-business. A company that can facilitate fiercely will (at some point) be able to engineer fiercely. We will productize the buzzword "vertical". At Kolo, we think we know how to maximize interactively. What does it really mean to strategize "globally"? It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! We will transition the power of solutions to evolve. Without preplanned communities, ROI metrics are forced to become transparent. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We think that most user-centric web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough HTTP. At Kolo, we have proven we know how to evolve iteravely. If you utilize robustly, you may have to incubate transparently. We think that most dot-com web sites use far too much J++, and not enough WAP. We will add to our ability to actualize without lessening our capability to disintermediate. We think that most fractal web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough JavaScript. What does the term "fractal" really mean? If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to disintermediate strategically leads to the ability to seize perfectly. If you utilize transparently, you may have to optimize holistically. Think super-intra-resource-constrained, customized. Kolo has refactored the abstraction of data hygiene supervising. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! It sounds estranging, but it's entirely accurate! What does the standard industry term "compelling" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to empower robustly than to transform micro-magnetically. It comes off as remarkable, but it's realistic! The capability to reinvent iteravely leads to the power to syndicate extensibly. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will syndicate the industry jargon "C2B2B". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. Do you have a plan to become one-to-one? Do you have a plan of action to become ubiquitous?