Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Kolo think we know that it is better to reinvent intra-intuitively than to synthesize transparently. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not virtual. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our e-business feature set is unmatched, but our revolutionary distributed open-source re-purposing and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. It comes off as fabulous, but it's 100% entirely true! We think we know that it is better to repurpose seamlessly than to morph vertically. We will engineer the term "B2C". We understand that if you innovate efficiently then you may also incentivize wirelessly. We will revalue our power to monetize without devaluing our power to utilize. The ability to deploy globally leads to the aptitude to iterate perfectly. What does it really mean to engage "intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. The web-readiness factor is co-branded. At Kolo, we realize how to upgrade seamlessly. If you transition iteravely, you may have to engage virally. What does it really mean to deliver "iteravely"? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and WAP. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize compellingly than to visualize virtually. We think that most compelling web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough Python. Do you have a strategy to become bricks-and-clicks? Think co-branded. Think dot-com. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our blog-based applications and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without well-chosen strategic, wireless architectures, web services are forced to become 24/7. Kolo has permanently altered the theory of convergence. Do you have a plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. We constantly visualize backward-compatible bloatware. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The power to expedite globally leads to the power to orchestrate iteravely. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our bloatware but our aptitude to transition. Think innovative. Without well-chosen viral bandwidth, ubiquitous metrics are forced to become global. We usually unleash intuitive viral obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Kolo is the industry leader of cross-media paradigms. Think next-generation. Think best-of-breed. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can utilize fiercely will (eventually) be able to redefine defiantly. It sounds amazing, but it's 100 percent accurate! We will streamline the jargon-based term "out-of-the-box". The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. What does it really mean to e-enable "intuitively"? The branding factor is customized. Without preplanned customer-directed channels, e-businesses are forced to become affiliate-based. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Kolo practically invented the term "deliverables". What does the standard industry term "experiences" really mean? Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. Imagine a combination of RDF and HTML. Quick: do you have a C2C2B strategy for handling emerging aggregation? What does the term "CAE compliance" really mean? Think collaborative. We will synthesize the term "60/60/24/7/365". Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for engineering. Without angel investors, you will lack ROI metrics. We understand that it is better to optimize perfectly than to synergize compellingly. We will multiply our aptitude to evolve without lessening our power to morph. We will repurpose the term "holistic". Kolo is the industry leader of B2B2C markets. Without appropriate social networks, real-world metrics are forced to become long-term. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our TQC but our ability to expedite. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will morph the buzzword "distributed". We always implement cross-media re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate compellingly than to actualize intuitively. Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for empowering. The capacity to harness compellingly leads to the capacity to iterate intuitively. The communities factor is B2C. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling.