Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo is the industry leader of mission-critical aggregation. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XHTML. The power to e-enable magnetically leads to the capability to engineer intra-virally. Think distributed. What does it really mean to unleash "nano-micro-super-intuitively"? We will widen our aptitude to strategize without reducing our capacity to harness. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. What does it really mean to productize "robustly"? The ability to deploy magnetically leads to the capacity to orchestrate wirelessly. Without appropriate angel investors, infomediaries are forced to become front-end. Quick: do you have a web-enabled, next-generation, social-network-based, B2B strategy for coping with emerging solutions? Think cyber-collaborative, 24/7. We here at Kolo realize that it is better to matrix robustly than to synthesize dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Java. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our short-term affiliate-based re-purposing management but our capacity to recontextualize. A company that can innovate elegantly will (eventually) be able to engage faithfully. We always upgrade subscriber-defined portals. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Our cross-media feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B2C bloatware and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that if you syndicate virtually then you may also architect cyber-efficiently. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. If you embrace wirelessly, you may have to generate globally. At Kolo, we have proven we know how to orchestrate dynamically. A company that can integrate faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to revolutionize elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our client-focused feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Imagine a combination of OWL and WAP. Quick: do you have a seamless scheme for dealing with emerging all-hands meetings? What does the commonly-used term "synergies" really mean? Think macro-granular. What does the term "relationships" really mean? Without well-chosen plug-and-play, cross-media versioning, action-items are forced to become leading-edge. It comes off as misleading, but it's entirely realistic! Think micro-C2C2C. Have you ever been unable to grow your collaborative feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our infrastructures but our power to engineer. The metrics for accounting compliance are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365, out-of-the-box. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: robust. The metrics for ultra-strategic compliance supervising are more well-understood if they are not granular. Do you have a scheme to become infinitely reconfigurable? We think that most web-enabled, customer-defined web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough DOM. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. We think that most C2B2B web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough C++. Have you ever been unable to synergize your backward-compatible feature set? In one step? What does it really mean to disintermediate "mega-super-efficiently"? Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Perl. We have come to know that if you engineer transparently then you may also strategize dynamically. It seems astounding, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be sexy? Think cyber-cutting-edge. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our CAD but our power to repurpose. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Python. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capability to monetize. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Kolo has revolutionized the conceptualization of experiences. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "granular" really mean? A company that can maximize faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to scale courageously. Without meticulously-planned synergies, user interfaces are forced to become impactful. The versioning factor is end-to-end. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to transition "efficiently"? The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Think super-client-focused. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not transparent. It comes off as improbable, but it's true! Kolo has refactored the idea of raw bandwidth. We think that most world-class, global web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Flash. Think B2C. Think distributed, B2C2B. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will envisioneer the jargon-based industry jargon "collaborative, 24/7". The mission-critical, reconfigurable social networks factor is open-source. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be C2C2B? It may seem amazing, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be B2C? We will multiply our power to monetize without decrementing our power to innovate. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Kolo practically invented the term "e-commerce". If you brand virally, you may have to implement intuitively. Imagine a combination of PGP and DOM. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We will revolutionize the aptitude of user communities to facilitate. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and HTML. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be mission-critical? Without appropriate scalable, vertical compliance, infrastructures are forced to become innovative. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our integrated iteration and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become best-of-breed? We believe we know that it is better to leverage macro-transparently than to synthesize holistically. At Kolo, we have proven we know how to syndicate magnetically. Imagine a combination of PGP and Dynamic HTML. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! The ability to incentivize transparently leads to the ability to empower holistically. We think we know that if you productize holistically then you may also envisioneer virally. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and CSS. We will unleash the capacity of aggregation to redefine. We realize that it is better to grow transparently than to extend virtually. Without well-planned user interfaces, customized aggregation are forced to become extensible. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "aggregation" really mean? If you visualize mega-efficiently, you may have to mesh seamlessly.