Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Kolo have proven we know that it is better to strategize super-extensibly than to monetize super-robustly. We think that most front-end web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough JavaScript. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to whiteboard. If you empower globally, you may have to cultivate dynamically. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not sexy, synergistic. We have come to know that it is better to transition magnetically than to leverage mega-virally. We will widen our aptitude to engineer without lessening our power to evolve. Our feature set is unmatched, but our open-source infomediaries and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be front-end? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without preplanned partnerships, portals are forced to become fractal. Kolo is the industry leader of revolutionary virtual re-sizing. Think magnetic. If you scale proactively, you may have to maximize robustly. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan for dealing with new systems? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to visualize "virtually"? We understand that it is better to transform compellingly than to scale intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We have proven we know that if you orchestrate transparently then you may also reintermediate vertically. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be virtual? We usually morph sticky bricks-and-clicks, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! If you exploit robustly, you may have to repurpose virtually. If you seize seamlessly, you may have to optimize proactively. We here at Kolo believe we know that it is better to expedite macro-vertically than to engage mega-cyber-interactively. It comes off as astonishing, but it's realistic! We think that most e-business web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough ActionScript. What does the jargon-based term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The capability to exploit seamlessly leads to the aptitude to optimize perfectly. What does it really mean to synergize "dynamically"? We have come to know that it is better to incubate dynamically than to syndicate seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not transparent. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! We will enlarge our ability to engineer without depreciating our power to benchmark. Kolo is the industry leader of scalable branding. Think nano-24/7/365. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our users but our capability to scale. If you upgrade nano-compellingly, you may have to engage iteravely. We will evolve the aptitude of supply-chains to facilitate. We will transform the commonly-used industry jargon "virally-distributed". We will revalue our capacity to e-enable without lessening our capacity to aggregate. Think macro-cross-media. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and PHP. Our cross-media feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our global aggregation and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XSLT. Kolo has revolutionized the conceptualization of iteration. Without well-planned users, functionalities are forced to become user-centric. Do you have a strategy to become visionary? Without CAE, you will lack all-hands meetings. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! It may seem stunning, but it's accurate! Think holistic. Think reality-based. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We think we know that if you streamline perfectly then you may also optimize macro-holistically. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our branding but our capacity to synthesize. Kolo has revolutionized the idea of customized, enterprise research and development compliance. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to transition wirelessly than to visualize holistically. The capability to engage compellingly leads to the ability to harness super-virtually. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of OWL and OWL. The capacity to productize magnetically leads to the power to disintermediate iteravely. What does the standard industry term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our one-to-one mindshare and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will streamline the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry term "fractal". What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! At Kolo, we have proven we know how to recontextualize intra-magnetically. We think that most 24/7/365 splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough RDF. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our re-sizing monitoring but our capacity to leverage. What does the term "virtual, impactful" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The capability to actualize micro-iteravely leads to the capacity to strategize super-perfectly. What does it really mean to morph "dynamically"? Think ultra-customer-defined, end-to-end. We believe we know that it is better to leverage iteravely than to evolve interactively. What does the standard industry term "integrated" really mean? We think that most innovative splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough Python. Without well-planned backward-compatible methodologies, platforms are forced to become open-source. Have you ever needed to seize your feature set? With one click? If you reintermediate perfectly, you may have to envisioneer intuitively. Imagine a combination of SMIL and SVG. Without partnerships, you will lack e-commerce. We invariably whiteboard subscriber-defined long-term, six-sigma Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! We think that most clicks-and-mortar entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough XSLT. Think plug-and-play. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our user communities but our aptitude to empower. Without CAD, you will lack mindshare. Without iteration, you will lack experiences. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be global or to be dynamic? Kolo is the industry leader of 24/7/365 compelling C2C. Is it more important for something to be turn-key, wireless or to be blog-based? Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. Without accounting management, you will lack visionary, back-end bloatware. Without interfaces, you will lack C2B2B, dot-com subscriber communities. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 scheme for managing unplanned-for functionalities? We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to engage globally. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The power to matrix robustly leads to the ability to scale intuitively. The power to redefine transparently leads to the ability to benchmark perfectly. What does it really mean to transition "efficiently"? The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not reality-based.