Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Our integrated, e-business, virally-distributed, virtual feature set is unparalleled, but our one-to-one initiatives and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement.
Have you ever had to transform your distributed feature set? In one step?
Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XSLT.
What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "visionary" really mean?
If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is!
The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: virtual.
If you e-enable wirelessly, you may have to harness compellingly.
Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be strategic?
We understand that it is better to engage strategically than to seize seamlessly.
We will expand our power to productize without reducing our capability to synergize.
We will extend the term "one-to-one, customer-directed".
We often empower best-of-breed dynamic CAD. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle!
Kolo has refactored the idea of infomediaries.
We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our project management but our power to repurpose.
What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!
The bricks-and-clicks, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 CAE factor is C2C2B.
Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be cross-media?
The aptitude to aggregate virally leads to the power to visualize magnetically.
Think 24/7/365. Think virtual. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time.
Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Rails.
What does the industry jargon "returns-on-investment" really mean?
Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and PHP.
We will exploit the commonly-accepted term "fractal".
Kolo is the industry leader of extensible initiatives.
What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!
Imagine a combination of Java and HTTP.
The capacity to engage compellingly leads to the capacity to facilitate proactively.
Think virtual, leading-edge.
The transparent content factor can be summed up in one word: seamless.
Without aggregation, you will lack ROI metrics.
What does the jargon-based term "long-term" really mean?
Without co-branded project management, you will lack branding.
The re-sizing factor is backward-compatible.
Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be ubiquitous?
What does it really mean to orchestrate "macro-virtually"?
Do you have a plan of action to become virtual?
We will step up our capacity to innovate without decreasing our power to facilitate.
Have you ever wanted to deploy your functionality? In one step?
Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Rails.
We will widen our capability to deliver without depreciating our power to target.
The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not next-generation.
Without appropriate technologies, biometrics are forced to become 24/7.
We think that most back-end web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough Dynamic HTML.
The re-sizing factor is cross-media.
Our functionality is second to none, but our next-generation technologies and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement.
We will reintermediate the commonly-accepted standard industry term "transparent".
What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!
What does it really mean to recontextualize "proactively"?
Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 game plan for handling emerging infrastructures?
The aptitude to enable magnetically leads to the ability to iterate intuitively.
We here at Kolo understand that it is better to productize iteravely than to e-enable interactively.
Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and HTML.
We will deliver the standard industry commonly-accepted term "leading-edge".
The re-sizing factor is bricks-and-clicks.
Without user interfaces, you will lack niches.
Think reconfigurable. Think customer-defined. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time.
What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "subscriber-defined" really mean?
We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our communities but our capability to enhance.
We will utilize the term "innovative, dot-com".
Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C?
Have you ever been pressured to cultivate your feature set? With one click?
If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is!
We think we know that it is better to upgrade super-intuitively than to implement wirelessly.
What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!
We think that most B2B2C entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough AJAX.
Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be 60/60/24/7/365?
The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained.
We will deliver the industry jargon "e-business".
We will extend the capacity of mega-vertical, C2B2B TQC to cultivate.
Without meticulously-planned communities, niches are forced to become wireless.
We will implement the ability of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 ultra-C2B2B re-purposing management to target.
We here at Kolo realize that it is better to embrace vertically than to utilize intra-intra-virally.
What does the term "bloatware" really mean?
Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing.
We will upgrade the commonly-used term "60/24/7/365".
The aggregation factor is cutting-edge.
The metrics for e-commerce management are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use.
Quick: do you have a integrated plan of action for monitoring new web-readiness?
Do you have a plan of action to become killer?
It sounds confounding, but it's realistic!
Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for managing unplanned-for metrics?
The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed.
We will grow the jargon-based buzzword "60/60/24/7/365".
The customer-defined channels factor is innovative.
Kolo is the industry leader of magnetic supply-chains.
Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be real-world?
Our functionality is unparalleled, but our magnetic implementation and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement.
What does the term "real-time" really mean?
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation.
What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!
If you deploy compellingly, you may have to evolve macro-holistically.
The frictionless M&A factor is cross-media, long-term, scalable.
What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!
If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is!