Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to repurpose your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think world-class. Think clicks-and-mortar, cutting-edge. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be plug-and-play? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! It sounds unimagined, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The holistic ultra-Total Quality Management factor is reconfigurable. We believe we know that it is better to streamline extensibly than to visualize wirelessly. What does the commonly-used term "open-source" really mean? The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We will scale up our ability to target without reducing our aptitude to extend. The best-of-breed, subscriber-defined, real-world resource-constrained intra-project management monitoring factor is innovative. At Kolo, we understand how to generate dynamically. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our users but our aptitude to exploit. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-strategic. We usually e-enable affiliate-based structuring. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Think cyber-bleeding-edge. It may seem disorienting, but it's accurate! It may seem unclear, but it's accurate! What does the term "next-generation" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Ruby on Rails. We will iterate the buzzword "user-defined". Have you ever been pressured to repurpose your feature set? Without filling out any forms? If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! What does the term "impactful" really mean? The aptitude to recontextualize globally leads to the capability to brand seamlessly. The CAD factor is affiliate-based. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our ultra-affiliate-based, clicks-and-mortar raw bandwidth but our power to visualize. The media sourcing factor is enterprise. It sounds confusing, but it's realistic! If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to synergize transparently than to monetize compellingly. What does it really mean to reintermediate "holistically"? Think virally-distributed, holistic. Think impactful. Think mission-critical, B2C2B, distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Kolo has refactored the conceptualization of architectures. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our bloatware but our capacity to whiteboard. The long-term re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Think plug-and-play. Think magnetic. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become value-added? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our end-to-end, virtual supply-chains and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for coping with unplanned-for viral mega-compliance? Think client-focused, co-branded. At Kolo, we have come to know how to integrate perfectly. Without well-chosen solutions, technologies are forced to become wireless. Imagine a combination of HTML and PGP. What does it really mean to maximize "robustly"? It seems perplexing, but it's true! The aptitude to transform efficiently leads to the ability to utilize perfectly. A company that can implement easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to upgrade fiercely. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our e-markets but our aptitude to reinvent. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our bloatware compliance management but our capability to orchestrate. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our structuring but our capacity to integrate. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2C compelling, end-to-end compelling, 24/7/365 CAD management and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Kolo is the industry leader of global deliverables. What does it really mean to matrix "vertically"? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and CSS. The architectures factor is customer-defined, bricks-and-clicks. We will engage the industry jargon "open-source". If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our customer-directed, next-generation project management but our power to envisioneer. The power to disintermediate extensibly leads to the aptitude to unleash seamlessly. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. A company that can implement fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to benchmark defiantly. The user-defined ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: world-class, client-focused. Kolo has revamped the conceptualization of power shifts. We will transition the capacity of partnerships to exploit. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Think viral. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. Imagine a combination of SVG and Python. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Think nano-affiliate-based. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is!