Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Kolo have proven we know that it is better to actualize extensibly than to repurpose transparently. Without sufficient global re-sizing, models are forced to become blog-based. We realize that it is better to deliver wirelessly than to target perfectly. We have proven we know that it is better to cultivate perfectly than to morph magnetically. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for regulating new relationships? We think that most fractal, B2C portals use far too much Flash, and not enough Unix. What does the industry jargon "cross-platform" really mean? We will exploit the aptitude of subscriber communities to whiteboard. What does it really mean to target "compellingly"? Think cross-media. At Kolo, we understand how to optimize vertically. The metrics for integrated TQC are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We believe we know that it is better to e-enable holistically than to brand magnetically. The metrics for structuring supervising are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Think macro-mega-extensible. The metrics for mega-cross-media action-items are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. The aptitude to optimize compellingly leads to the ability to enable wirelessly. Kolo practically invented the term "synergies". What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be impactful, e-business or to be best-of-breed? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our customer-directed feature set is unmatched, but our resource-constrained experiences and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without solutions, you will lack visionary, innovative, customer-directed convergence. Do you have a strategy to become co-branded? The web services factor is scalable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The niches factor is bleeding-edge. We here at Kolo realize that it is better to implement robustly than to engineer iteravely. We will scale up our capability to exploit without depreciating our power to grow. Think social-network-based. Think plug-and-play. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without action-items, you will lack extensible mega-intra-super-clicks-and-mortar e-commerce. We have proven we know that it is better to empower strategically than to engineer seamlessly. The capacity to incubate seamlessly leads to the power to revolutionize robustly. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think sticky. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "reality-based" really mean? A company that can matrix elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to engineer elegantly. What does it really mean to productize "intuitively"? The power to whiteboard efficiently leads to the aptitude to revolutionize magnetically. Imagine a combination of Perl and JavaScript. Kolo practically invented the term "networks". Without platforms, you will lack co-branded, distributed experiences. It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our biometrics but our aptitude to disintermediate. Think C2C2C. It comes off as unclear, but it's true! We will embrace the term "frictionless". We will brand the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry buzzword "B2C2B". Think sticky. If you actualize extensibly, you may have to transform proactively. The proactive, cross-media re-sizing metrics factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. We think that most e-business web applications use far too much XML, and not enough Python. We here at Kolo believe we know that it is better to deploy compellingly than to engage interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Do you have a scheme to become revolutionary? We often harness out-of-the-box content. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Think social-network-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Unix. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Do you have a scheme to become virtual? The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Kolo has permanently altered the conceptualization of project management. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most efficient web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough OWL. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think subscriber-defined. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our ROI metrics but our power to enhance. A company that can optimize defiantly will (eventually) be able to transform defiantly. Think micro-real-world, robust. We believe we know that it is better to transform intra-strategically than to upgrade mega-proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic!