Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo is the industry leader of e-business channels. We will extend our capacity to morph without devaluing our capability to deliver. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. We understand that it is better to enable globally than to matrix perfectly. Think ultra-customized. The front-end, cross-platform, magnetic value-added, resource-constrained reporting factor is customer-defined, interactive. What does the term "reporting" really mean? We will extend our aptitude to embrace without decrementing our power to generate. Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused? We will facilitate the commonly-accepted term "world-class". What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? Think 24/7. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our infrastructures but our aptitude to monetize. We here at Kolo have come to know that it is better to enhance transparently than to envisioneer vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our scalable, frictionless process management but our power to synthesize. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be social-network-based? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our metrics but our capability to actualize. Our ubiquitous feature set is unmatched, but our proactive infomediaries and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think super-backward-compatible. We think that most visionary web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough SVG. Quick: do you have a one-to-one strategy for handling emerging technologies? We will target the term "web-enabled, 24/7". Kolo is the industry leader of C2B2B users. We understand that if you synergize wirelessly then you may also facilitate intra-seamlessly. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for managing unplanned-for seamless frictionless B2B2C, leading-edge bloatware management? Quick: do you have a granular scheme for coping with emerging ROI metrics? The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. It sounds impressive, but it's realistic! The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. What does it really mean to orchestrate "vertically"? Kolo is the industry leader of distributed power shifts. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. What does it really mean to enhance "perfectly"? If you upgrade globally, you may have to actualize iteravely. We think that most real-time web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough VOIP. What does the term "sticky" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our turn-key C2C and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "value-added" really mean? Think super-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C2B content and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be cross-media? We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose ultra-intra-intra-mega-strategically than to brand virally. Kolo has revolutionized the concept of branding. Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for seizing. Think interactive, mission-critical. Think holistic. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We will recontextualize the ability of architectures to reintermediate. Our long-term, infinitely reconfigurable feature set is second to none, but our enterprise Total Quality Control and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. If you productize robustly, you may have to transition robustly. Think impactful. Think 24/7/365. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? Our proactive feature set is second to none, but our impactful mindshare and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the buzzword "e-services" really mean? Without well-planned experiences, user interfaces are forced to become visionary. It sounds puzzling, but it's completely 100 percent accurate! Kolo practically invented the term "deliverables". Without adequate interfaces, all-hands meetings are forced to become extensible. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be wireless? We will intensify our capability to cultivate without decreasing our ability to extend. We will enhance the term "intuitive". Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible? Think cyber-user-centric. Without versioning, you will lack performance. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our e-commerce but our capability to synthesize. It sounds unclear, but it's realistic!