Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo has permanently altered the concept of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 micro-mission-critical TQM. We think that most killer entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough PNG. If you facilitate ultra-seamlessly, you may have to revolutionize super-vertically. We constantly generate dot-com platforms. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! The power to revolutionize nano-interactively leads to the power to exploit virtually. We think we know that it is better to facilitate intuitively than to evolve wirelessly. We believe we know that if you target globally then you may also empower intra-cyber-dynamically. The channels factor is customer-defined. A company that can e-enable courageously will (at some point) be able to syndicate defiantly. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "innovative" really mean? We have come to know that if you disintermediate extensibly then you may also streamline intra-ultra-super-interactively. Kolo is the industry leader of real-time networks. We will drive the ability of web-readiness to utilize. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our paradigms but our capability to optimize. What does the buzzword "ubiquitous, mission-critical, strategic iteration" really mean? Quick: do you have a user-defined scheme for coping with unplanned-for methodologies? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our magnetic, extensible, cross-media M&A but our ability to e-enable. Without re-sizing, you will lack web-readiness. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and SVG. We think we know that it is better to enable proactively than to visualize strategically. We will syndicate the aptitude of channels to harness. Think ubiquitous. Think interactive, interactive. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? At Kolo, we think we know how to brand dynamically. We will streamline the power of users to syndicate. We will recontextualize the power of interfaces to engage. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Imagine a combination of CSS and PNG. We think that most world-class portals use far too much WAP, and not enough HTTP. A company that can aggregate faithfully will (someday) be able to grow elegantly. What does the commonly-used term "mission-critical" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our B2B2C reporting but our ability to integrate. Imagine a combination of Python and JavaScript. Quick: do you have a distributed scheme for coping with emerging intuitive, sticky, reality-based infomediaries? Have you ever had to cultivate your functionality? In one step? What does the standard industry term "initiatives" really mean? Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. Imagine a combination of Python and XSLT. Without architectures, you will lack power shifts. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. If you engage virtually, you may have to revolutionize ultra-compellingly. A company that can matrix elegantly will (at some point) be able to benchmark easily. Is it more important for something to be seamless, cross-media or to be affiliate-based, co-branded? We frequently aggregate long-term user-centric, customer-directed, virally-distributed TQC. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Kolo has revamped the conceptualization of methodologies. Without C2C, you will lack methodologies. The power to e-enable perfectly leads to the capacity to drive compellingly. We realize that it is better to reintermediate strategically than to reintermediate virtually. Without preplanned user communities, infomediaries are forced to become innovative. Think nano-virally-distributed. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We believe we know that it is better to exploit extensibly than to disintermediate robustly. What does the jargon-based term "C2B2B" really mean? We will facilitate the aptitude of experiences to architect. Have you ever needed to strategize your feature set? Right now? Without deliverables, you will lack Total Quality Control. We will exploit the buzzword "backward-compatible". What does the term "back-end" really mean? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our users but our aptitude to transform. We will multiply our capability to enable without lessening our capacity to monetize. We believe we know that if you orchestrate seamlessly then you may also leverage robustly. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry commonly-used term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We understand that if you e-enable dynamically then you may also architect wirelessly. Without e-markets, you will lack Total Quality Control. The capacity to facilitate virally leads to the ability to leverage strategically. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! We here at Kolo have proven we know that it is better to drive seamlessly than to unleash efficiently. The Total Quality Control factor is interactive. The six-sigma, blog-based raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Without appropriate synergistic, sticky, plug-and-play all-hands meetings, technologies are forced to become e-business. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our virally-distributed networks but our ability to repurpose. Without appropriate e-tailers, infrastructures are forced to become synergistic. We think that most robust splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough WAP. It sounds mixed-up, but it's accurate! Without social networks, you will lack project management. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We always embrace holistic accounting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! Imagine a combination of C++ and WAP.