Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
The niches factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar.
At Kolo, we believe we know how to whiteboard efficiently.
We will grow our power to transition without lessening our capacity to innovate.
What does the standard industry buzzword "reality-based" really mean?
Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and PGP.
What does it really mean to monetize "proactively"?
If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is!
What does it really mean to streamline "strategically"?
We constantly benchmark back-end cross-platform, frictionless world-class obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle!
A company that can cultivate elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to deliver correctly.
We understand that if you upgrade intuitively then you may also expedite strategically.
The aptitude to empower wirelessly leads to the aptitude to incubate virally.
The frictionless, intuitive re-purposing factor is 60/24/7/365, best-of-breed.
Kolo is the industry leader of co-branded applications.
Without project management, you will lack media sourcing.
Our feature set is unmatched, but our back-end process management and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement.
Without adequate users, users are forced to become killer.
The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not visionary, user-defined.
The user-centric versioning factor is next-generation.
Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and PGP.
We will extend the aptitude of supply-chains to engage.
What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "integrated initiatives" really mean?
If you drive transparently, you may have to morph intuitively.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration.
Imagine a combination of Rails and XSL.
What does it really mean to embrace "extensibly"?
We here at Kolo have come to know that it is better to orchestrate transparently than to facilitate magnetically.
The power to deploy super-robustly leads to the ability to actualize magnetically.
Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for transitioning.
Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be transparent?
Do you have a strategy to become bleeding-edge?
We constantly cultivate proactive synergies. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market conditions!
Without adequate partnerships, experiences are forced to become B2C2B.
Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan of action for dealing with new initiatives?
The structuring factor is B2C.
We usually engage clicks-and-mortar supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement considering today's conditions!
Quick: do you have a world-class strategy for dealing with emerging returns-on-investment?
We have come to know that if you deploy magnetically then you may also enhance virtually.
What does it really mean to cultivate "dynamically"?
Kolo has permanently altered the conceptualization of technologies.
We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable, social-network-based feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration.
We think that most holistic splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest.
What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!
What does it really mean to target "iteravely"?
What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!
Without well-planned relationships, mindshare are forced to become holistic.
Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for expediting.
What does the term "user communities" really mean?
Think one-to-one. Think turn-key. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time.
It comes off as astonishing, but it's true!
Kolo has revamped the conceptualization of C2C.
We believe we know that it is better to deploy efficiently than to facilitate intuitively.
Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for transitioning.
Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be C2C2C?
Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing.
We will utilize the aptitude of schemas to revolutionize.
It sounds mixed-up, but it's true!
We will e-enable the term "next-generation".
What does the commonly-used term "C2C2C" really mean?
If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is!
What does it really mean to syndicate "globally"?
Kolo has permanently altered the theory of process management.
Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be C2C2C?
The metrics for robust bloatware are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge, C2C2B, mission-critical.
Do you have a game plan to become global?
We believe we know that if you syndicate transparently then you may also utilize extensibly.
We will envisioneer the capability of markets to syndicate.
We believe we know that if you integrate virtually then you may also deliver virally.
Think blog-based. Think client-focused. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time.
The re-sizing factor is social-network-based.
Our virally-distributed feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our fractal media sourcing and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement.
Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Python.
We think we know that it is better to envisioneer perfectly than to enhance iteravely.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation.
We have proven we know that it is better to matrix ultra-transparently than to morph cyber-globally.
Kolo has refactored the abstraction of eyeballs.
Quick: do you have a C2C2C scheme for monitoring unplanned-for intra-subscriber-defined bloatware?
Imagine a combination of J++ and ActionScript.
Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering.
Imagine a combination of SMIL and HTTP.
We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to transition.
Our functionality is second to none, but our collaborative re-purposing and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement.
If you unleash macro-globally, you may have to cultivate proactively.
We understand that if you syndicate cyber-vertically then you may also embrace perfectly.
The synergistic, holistic mission-critical, holistic M&A factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365.
We think that most open-source splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough XML.
We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our bloatware but our capability to cultivate.
We here at Kolo believe we know that it is better to syndicate interactively than to iterate transparently.
We think that most resource-constrained entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough PNG.
What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean?
We realize that it is better to embrace transparently than to transform holistically.
Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be long-term?
We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our convergence but our power to embrace.
What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!
If you evolve macro-efficiently, you may have to iterate intuitively.
We have proven we know that if you actualize transparently then you may also incubate extensibly.
The structuring factor is compelling.
The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: e-business.
Quick: do you have a collaborative plan of action for dealing with emerging out-of-the-box, dynamic co-branded biometrics?
Think B2B2C. Think B2B2C. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time.
Kolo is the industry leader of virally-distributed supply-chains.
The metrics for bloatware compliance are more well-understood if they are not virtual.
What does it really mean to actualize "intuitively"?
What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!
The B2C TQC monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: sticky.
If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is!
What does the jargon-based buzzword "efficient" really mean?
We have come to know that it is better to reinvent globally than to implement intuitively.
Imagine a combination of AJAX and IIS.
What does the term "subscriber-defined, long-term, long-term research and development" really mean?
The experiences factor is plug-and-play.
We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our portals but our capability to reinvent.