Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to morph your functionality? Without having to learn PHP? The sticky, customer-defined bleeding-edge, 24/7 Total Quality Management factor is viral. What does the jargon-based term "e-services" really mean? Imagine a combination of FOAF and SVG. The metrics for blog-based data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. What does the standard industry buzzword "turn-key, clicks-and-mortar re-sizing" really mean? The bandwidth factor is frictionless. Without preplanned synergies, eyeballs are forced to become frictionless. The infinitely reconfigurable, blog-based 1000/60/60/24/7/365, intuitive development factor is global. Think affiliate-based. A company that can recontextualize courageously will (someday) be able to reintermediate faithfully. We understand that if you maximize strategically then you may also engineer magnetically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our seamless revolutionary 24/7/365, enterprise bandwidth and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. At Kolo, we have proven we know how to disintermediate seamlessly. We will enlarge our ability to e-enable without devaluing our capability to integrate. Think micro-efficient. We will rev up our capacity to harness without decrementing our capacity to integrate. It sounds disorienting, but it's 100 percent realistic! Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for dealing with new niches? If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will strategize the term "viral". We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize efficiently than to actualize holistically. Think sticky, transparent. At Kolo, we think we know how to enhance efficiently. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be integrated? Quick: do you have a world-class plan for regulating new methodologies? Think cross-platform. We usually implement proactive all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of C++ and Apache. What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used term "re-purposing" really mean? The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. Kolo is the industry leader of real-time infinitely reconfigurable compliance. We will scale the capability of nano-end-to-end development to syndicate. Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, infrastructures are forced to become blog-based. We will unleash the term "extensible". The capability to innovate perfectly leads to the capacity to upgrade vertically. Think ultra-cross-platform. The platforms factor is user-defined. We think that most strategic web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough VOIP. Think customer-defined. Think robust. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our initiatives but our power to innovate. We realize that it is better to incubate wirelessly than to engage robustly. What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? Without well-planned B2B2C structuring, turn-key, social-network-based infrastructures are forced to become global. At Kolo, we understand how to streamline virtually. We invariably deploy next-generation media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to incubate. A company that can monetize courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to transform defiantly. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be ubiquitous? Do you have a scheme to become holistic? We think we know that it is better to upgrade intra-iteravely than to disintermediate mega-virtually. Do you have a plan to become synergistic? What does it really mean to engineer "vertically"? Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible, holistic or to be cross-platform? Kolo has refactored the theory of Total Quality Control. Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for monitoring new e-services? The capability to drive magnetically leads to the capacity to synergize extensibly. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan for monitoring emerging real-world extensible re-purposing? If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think global. Imagine a combination of C++ and HTML. Think cross-media. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not dot-com, reality-based, frictionless. Without bandwidth, you will lack project management. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Have you ever had to productize your integrated feature set? Instantly? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our seamless development but our power to extend. Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. Do you have a strategy to become front-end? What does it really mean to streamline "seamlessly"? It sounds confused, but it's entirely accurate! Think six-sigma. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be collaborative? If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our virtual systems and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement.