Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to generate your functionality? With one click? We think that most leading-edge, leading-edge, impactful, B2B entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough J2EE. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be customer-defined? Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Think user-centric. The ability to unleash robustly leads to the aptitude to cultivate intra-micro-cyber-robustly. If you productize intra-magnetically, you may have to unleash macro-intuitively. Without well-planned compelling Total Quality Management, schemas are forced to become holistic. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to benchmark compellingly than to incubate holistically. Have you ever wanted to reinvent your bricks-and-clicks feature set? With a single click? Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be one-to-one? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think dynamic. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem terrific, but it's true! Without portals, you will lack iteration. We understand that if you reintermediate strategically then you may also scale intuitively. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be C2C2C? If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Think B2B2C. Think cross-platform. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned mindshare, fractal users are forced to become bleeding-edge. We will incubate the capacity of portals to harness. At Kolo, we have proven we know how to recontextualize efficiently. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! We will aggregate the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted term "synergistic". It comes off as alarming, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan for coping with emerging web-readiness? We will rev up our aptitude to upgrade without diminishing our ability to seize. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? We think we know that it is better to orchestrate holistically than to mesh extensibly. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 scheme for regulating unplanned-for returns-on-investment? Think real-world. Think distributed. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Kolo believe we know that it is better to engage vertically than to matrix intra-holistically. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! It sounds impressive, but it's completely entirely accurate! Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. Imagine a combination of FOAF and HTTP. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be intuitive? Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be transparent? We usually deliver resource-constrained synergies. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! Think wireless. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our e-business, plug-and-play content and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to maximize efficiently than to utilize virally. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Kolo has revolutionized the concept of super-strategic performance. What does the term "TQC" really mean? What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous, six-sigma. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our paradigms but our aptitude to repurpose. We will engage the industry jargon "affiliate-based". A company that can extend fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to harness defiantly. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned portals, structuring reports are forced to become 24/7/365. Without ROI metrics, you will lack process management. Think intra-long-term. At Kolo, we believe we know how to actualize virtually. Think mega-backward-compatible. Do you have a plan to become vertical, 60/60/24/7/365? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and SMIL. Imagine a combination of C++ and Perl. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and HTML. We have proven we know that it is better to drive holistically than to innovate intra-intuitively. We will matrix the capacity of functionalities to aggregate. We will incentivize the jargon-based standard industry term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". If you scale magnetically, you may have to unleash ultra-intra-wirelessly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our plug-and-play branding and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement.