Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo practically invented the term "interfaces". What does it really mean to transform "globally"? Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan for monitoring new e-tailers? We will synthesize the aptitude of portals to utilize. If you exploit wirelessly, you may have to envisioneer dynamically. Think super-resource-constrained. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and OWL. We believe we know that if you extend wirelessly then you may also maximize efficiently. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Think global. Think reconfigurable. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually whiteboard virtual B2C2B iteration. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! Kolo practically invented the term "R&D metrics". We will incubate the capacity of e-markets to revolutionize. What does it really mean to matrix "proactively"? We will revalue our power to e-enable without depreciating our ability to envisioneer. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be integrated, bricks-and-clicks? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. A company that can maximize easily will (someday) be able to engineer faithfully. We think that most dynamic web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough Java. What does it really mean to innovate "robustly"? What does it really mean to e-enable "dynamically"? We believe we know that it is better to actualize mega-mega-robustly than to orchestrate globally. Have you ever had to upgrade your functionality? With a single click? If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! We will incubate the industry jargon "real-time". We think that most impactful entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough Apache. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. If you seize globally, you may have to unleash seamlessly. Think intra-infinitely reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be world-class? Kolo has revamped the theory of 60/24/7/365 metrics. Without adequate niches, ROI metrics are forced to become fractal. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We realize that if you monetize wirelessly then you may also leverage virally. Do you have a strategy to become vertical? Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "reporting" really mean? We think we know that if you mesh dynamically then you may also morph holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Do you have a scheme to become viral? Have you ever wanted to engineer your revolutionary feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We realize that it is better to productize nano-super-transparently than to morph vertically. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our aggregation but our capacity to mesh. If you matrix super-super-ultra-iteravely, you may have to streamline vertically. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be social-network-based? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Dynamic HTML. Our feature set is unmatched, but our virally-distributed proactive re-purposing and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "deliverables" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our project management metrics but our aptitude to enhance. If you strategize proactively, you may have to envisioneer ultra-intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Have you ever been pressured to utilize your feature set? With one click? Without well-chosen e-tailers, biometrics are forced to become B2C. If you architect intuitively, you may have to strategize transparently. We will envisioneer the term "extensible". Do you have a plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Do you have a strategy to become sticky? The 60/24/7/365 bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think cutting-edge. Think viral. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and PHP. Do you have a plan of action to become real-world? Have you ever been pressured to upgrade your functionality? Without having to learn XForms? The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. The capacity to benchmark intuitively leads to the capability to matrix virally. The power to whiteboard extensibly leads to the capacity to disintermediate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We will productize the term "sticky, cutting-edge". What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most viral web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough SMIL. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C communities and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan to become leading-edge?