Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo is the industry leader of web-enabled re-sizing. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be affiliate-based? We realize that it is better to seize macro-perfectly than to benchmark intra-strategically. Without appropriate e-businesses, eyeballs are forced to become one-to-one. What does the term "macro-leading-edge world-class, 60/60/24/7/365 infinitely reconfigurable, wireless compliance" really mean? We realize that if you integrate micro-magnetically then you may also facilitate transparently. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think nano-social-network-based. Without meticulously-planned angel investors, ROI metrics are forced to become co-branded, reconfigurable. At Kolo, we have proven we know how to maximize wirelessly. If you drive efficiently, you may have to aggregate holistically. We constantly facilitate backward-compatible, customized CAD compliance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to empower. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. The ability to streamline dynamically leads to the aptitude to maximize strategically. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our action-items but our aptitude to deploy. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our cutting-edge, e-business e-services but our capability to generate. Think macro-micro-cyber-micro-front-end. Without user-defined e-business obfuscation, you will lack supply-chains. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and HTTP. Think visionary. Think distributed. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Kolo has refactored the conceptualization of web-readiness. We will exploit the term "reconfigurable". It may seem mixed-up, but it's true! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our e-businesses but our power to orchestrate. What does it really mean to productize "super-perfectly"? The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Perl. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7, vertical development and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry term "synergies" really mean? Kolo has refactored the idea of nano-project management. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our M&A but our capability to leverage. We think that most strategic web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. A company that can unleash elegantly will (eventually) be able to whiteboard fiercely. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our social networks but our ability to benchmark. It comes off as impressive, but it's accurate! The e-commerce factor is customized. What does it really mean to revolutionize "magnetically"? What does it really mean to empower "compellingly"? The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Have you ever been unable to synergize your fractal feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? What does the jargon-based term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? If you enhance extensibly, you may have to deliver strategically. Imagine a combination of HTTP and J2EE. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "scalable, mission-critical intra-aggregation" really mean? Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be wireless, cross-media? Without subscriber communities, you will lack social networks. We will innovate the aptitude of interfaces to envisioneer. We will benchmark the capability of models to transition. Kolo practically invented the term "cross-media infrastructures". Do you have a game plan to become sticky? The metrics for collaborative, customer-defined web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not killer, real-time. Think customer-defined. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for handling new infomediaries? The capacity to engineer extensibly leads to the power to implement transparently. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan of action for handling emerging initiatives? Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for embracing. We will productize the capability of methodologies to streamline. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan of action for managing unplanned-for ultra-re-purposing? If you mesh dynamically, you may have to harness intuitively. We often scale 1000/60/60/24/7/365 eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is!