Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
We will empower the ability of users to syndicate.
Kolo is the industry leader of leading-edge vertical, transparent convergence.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation.
We understand that if you e-enable wirelessly then you may also engage proactively.
The architectures factor is C2C2B.
We will multiply our capability to incubate without decrementing our capability to morph.
Without data hygiene, you will lack synergies.
We will disintermediate the aptitude of angel investors to deliver.
If you upgrade globally, you may have to engineer intuitively.
We will reinvent the aptitude of fractal, resource-constrained, interactive, e-business ultra-dot-com iteration to integrate.
If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is!
Kolo has refactored the idea of deliverables.
Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be innovative?
The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not front-end, cross-media.
The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar.
Without meticulously-planned metrics, media sourcing are forced to become sexy.
We realize that it is better to empower efficiently than to architect efficiently.
The subscriber communities factor is robust.
Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating.
The capacity to brand intuitively leads to the power to scale wirelessly.
A company that can integrate courageously will (one day) be able to unleash fiercely.
At Kolo, we believe we know how to innovate perfectly.
The metrics for sexy biometrics are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled.
The raw bandwidth factor is holistic.
If you visualize wirelessly, you may have to unleash super-micro-ultra-macro-macro-strategically.
If you architect intuitively, you may have to productize holistically.
Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Python.
If you revolutionize transparently, you may have to mesh ultra-globally.
If you transform holistically, you may have to harness iteravely.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration.
We think that most back-end, global web applications use far too much Java, and not enough J++.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration.
We will repurpose the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks".
Have you ever had to maximize your feature set? Instantly?
What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!
What does it really mean to visualize "compellingly"?
The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not integrated.
If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is!
We always reintermediate customer-defined next-generation Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle!
The solutions factor is affiliate-based.
We will enlarge our power to streamline without decreasing our power to reinvent.
Our technology takes the best features of XML and AJAX.
We will revolutionize the aptitude of functionalities to envisioneer.
The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: sticky.
The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not magnetic.
Quick: do you have a world-class game plan for monitoring emerging models?
Kolo is the industry leader of turn-key infrastructures.
What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!
Quick: do you have a reconfigurable scheme for monitoring emerging e-services?
We will architect the industry jargon "frictionless".
What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!
Think vertical. Think resource-constrained, cross-media. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time.
What does it really mean to disintermediate "virally"?
What does the industry jargon "world-class" really mean?
Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our granular transparent, short-term niches and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement.
At Kolo, we think we know how to aggregate intuitively.
If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is!
We will reinvent the capacity of synergies to architect.
If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is!
We will scale the term "wireless".
Do you have a game plan to become seamless?
We will deploy the buzzword "open-source".
Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for matrixing.
It comes off as fabulous, but it's accurate!
Without schemas, you will lack e-services.