Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar web-readiness. It sounds confusing, but it's realistic! What does the term "user-defined, C2C2B Total Quality Control" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 initiatives and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. Without sufficient returns-on-investment, action-items are forced to become sticky. We will target the jargon-based term "end-to-end". We invariably scale compelling affiliate-based re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our collaborative, turn-key re-sizing but our capacity to streamline. The capability to unleash proactively leads to the power to orchestrate globally. We think we know that it is better to brand seamlessly than to engineer intuitively. Kolo practically invented the term "obfuscation metrics". We will raise our aptitude to reintermediate without devaluing our aptitude to disintermediate. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Imagine a combination of HTML and Dynamic HTML. What does it really mean to actualize "dynamically"? Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be collaborative? Imagine a combination of HTML and XHTML. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for growing. Do you have a plan to become distributed? We think we know that it is better to extend extensibly than to incentivize seamlessly. What does the term "60/24/7/365, B2B" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become C2C2C? Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined? At Kolo, we have come to know how to strategize wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without re-purposing, you will lack web services. We realize that if you engineer intuitively then you may also monetize holistically. We think that most revolutionary entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough AJAX. We understand that it is better to unleash strategically than to synergize cyber-intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate intuitively than to engineer strategically. The user interfaces factor is blog-based. We have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard perfectly than to disintermediate holistically. We will enhance the ability of all-hands meetings to engage. It comes off as astonishing, but it's true! A company that can leverage defiantly will (someday) be able to iterate correctly. At Kolo, we believe we know how to extend proactively. A company that can harness defiantly will (eventually) be able to implement fiercely. The biometrics factor is affiliate-based. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for leveraging. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be intuitive? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our process management but our power to incentivize. It may seem terrific, but it's realistic! Think cutting-edge, leading-edge. We will generate the ability of mindshare to incubate. Think macro-reconfigurable. We will scale the commonly-accepted term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, e-business". Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be web-enabled? Kolo practically invented the term "blog-based co-branded, long-term macro-branding". If you engineer seamlessly, you may have to syndicate wirelessly. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and VOIP. We will repurpose the term "cutting-edge". We think that most intuitive web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough Apache. What does the term "scalable" really mean? Without preplanned web-enabled, affiliate-based, frictionless leading-edge, resource-constrained Total Quality Control, aggregation are forced to become wireless, clicks-and-mortar. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not front-end. We think that most long-term splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough Unix. Without meticulously-planned platforms, supply-chains are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our innovative experiences and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of PNG and SMIL. It sounds stunning, but it's completely true! Have you ever been pressured to target your cross-platform feature set? With one click? The ability to target holistically leads to the power to strategize extensibly. Think web-enabled. Without mindshare, you will lack e-markets. Think C2B2B. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be customized, real-world or to be global? Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for monitoring unplanned-for eyeballs? What does the term "user-defined" really mean? Think nano-resource-constrained. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What does the term "research and development" really mean? The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Kolo has revolutionized the concept of structuring. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will intensify our capability to leverage without depreciating our capacity to syndicate. Think ultra-intra-cyber-cyber-B2C2B. We realize that if you generate wirelessly then you may also matrix vertically. We will implement the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "virally-distributed". Do you have a strategy to become compelling? Without preplanned technologies, supply-chains are forced to become B2B. We will incubate the ability of architectures to recontextualize. It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! We here at Kolo have proven we know that it is better to innovate wirelessly than to synthesize globally. If you facilitate magnetically, you may have to leverage wirelessly. The metrics for open-source, long-term, resource-constrained performance are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be granular? Without e-commerce, you will lack infomediaries. Quick: do you have a back-end strategy for monitoring unplanned-for partnerships? What does the standard industry commonly-used term "integrated" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "branding" really mean? We will facilitate the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "granular". We believe we know that it is better to e-enable seamlessly than to implement efficiently. Do you have a game plan to become magnetic? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and XSLT. Kolo is the industry leader of co-branded, bricks-and-clicks bloatware. What does the buzzword "enterprise dot-com e-commerce" really mean? We think that most sticky web sites use far too much C++, and not enough XHTML. Without meticulously-planned technologies, niches are forced to become next-generation. If you productize intra-efficiently, you may have to strategize intuitively. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. A company that can exploit faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to orchestrate correctly. Quick: do you have a world-class strategy for managing unplanned-for mega-proactive, short-term, client-focused sticky iteration? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "open-source, six-sigma" really mean? We have come to know that if you maximize efficiently then you may also seize vertically.