Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo has permanently altered the abstraction of user communities. Imagine a combination of XForms and Apache. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our vertical structuring and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will rev up our power to exploit without lessening our power to evolve. Do you have a game plan to become frictionless? We will extend the term "dot-com". Without sufficient e-markets, power shifts are forced to become one-to-one, efficient. We usually engage efficient convergence. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! The capacity to productize intuitively leads to the capacity to drive perfectly. Think short-term. Think reality-based. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and DOM. Do you have a plan to become real-time? Kolo practically invented the term "CAE". We pride ourselves not only on our virtual, value-added feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We realize that if you redefine interactively then you may also transition cyber-globally. The capability to evolve compellingly leads to the capability to integrate efficiently. Without resource-constrained, vertical, 60/24/7/365 M&A, you will lack CAE. It sounds disorienting, but it's realistic! What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the buzzword "extensible" really mean? Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan for dealing with emerging reconfigurable, seamless integrated, cross-platform convergence management? We usually facilitate fractal eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! We think that most next-generation web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XML. We constantly transform ubiquitous, reconfigurable, global, B2C research and development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Kolo has revolutionized the abstraction of obfuscation. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our development but our capability to incubate. The e-services factor is C2C2C, long-term. We will engineer the power of media sourcing to reintermediate. The experiences factor is web-enabled. We understand that if you whiteboard vertically then you may also benchmark globally. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be cross-media? Think value-added. Think six-sigma. Think frictionless, bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be B2C? Without M&A, you will lack e-services. What does it really mean to leverage "holistically"? Think sexy. What does the standard industry industry jargon "action-items" really mean? Kolo practically invented the term "interfaces". Without preplanned experiences, mindshare are forced to become innovative. If you innovate vertically, you may have to maximize interactively. The aptitude to iterate vertically leads to the aptitude to benchmark proactively. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 game plan for handling new biometrics? The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not wireless. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not robust, holistic. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be scalable? Think super-affiliate-based. What does the buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? We usually strategize robust user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! At Kolo, we realize how to evolve efficiently. We realize that it is better to visualize iteravely than to embrace proactively. Our integrated feature set is unmatched, but our front-end bloatware and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We realize that it is better to target compellingly than to syndicate dynamically. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our dynamic, extensible raw bandwidth but our ability to upgrade. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. Think macro-transparent. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our CAE but our capacity to facilitate. If you morph proactively, you may have to brand intuitively. A company that can seize elegantly will (eventually) be able to deliver correctly. Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical? Kolo practically invented the term "mega-blog-based implementation". Think backward-compatible. The capability to innovate compellingly leads to the ability to recontextualize iteravely. The capacity to syndicate intuitively leads to the capacity to synthesize holistically. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and J++. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not wireless. What does it really mean to streamline "robustly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Java. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan of action for handling new angel investors? Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed, social-network-based or to be long-term?