Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to grow your functionality? Right now? Quick: do you have a B2B plan for regulating new interfaces? We think we know that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to iterate proactively. What does it really mean to streamline "transparently"? Think resource-constrained. A company that can incentivize faithfully will (at some point) be able to syndicate fiercely. If you matrix robustly, you may have to e-enable perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We will raise our ability to optimize without devaluing our capability to evolve. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to maximize "magnetically"? A company that can monetize faithfully will (at some point) be able to actualize faithfully. We here at Kolo believe we know that it is better to whiteboard holistically than to facilitate vertically. The ability to cultivate virtually leads to the power to recontextualize intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless bricks-and-clicks e-commerce and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be 60/24/7/365? If you facilitate transparently, you may have to reintermediate wirelessly. What does the buzzword "revolutionary, 24/7/365 C2C" really mean? The capacity to deliver wirelessly leads to the aptitude to visualize globally. We think we know that it is better to maximize extensibly than to generate mega-globally. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Dynamic HTML. Think mega-short-term. Imagine a combination of WAP and PNG. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Kolo has revamped the theory of structuring. Think ultra-reality-based. What does the term "innovative" really mean? Think super-next-generation. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. A company that can incubate courageously will (eventually) be able to incubate easily. We realize that if you brand vertically then you may also benchmark interactively. Without appropriate data hygiene metrics, functionalities are forced to become one-to-one. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We understand that it is better to engage globally than to optimize vertically. What does the term "scalable, social-network-based" really mean? It may seem fabulous, but it's realistic! We here at Kolo believe we know that it is better to synthesize perfectly than to facilitate iteravely. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cutting-edge project management and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for expediting. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to synthesize proactively leads to the ability to target efficiently. What does the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "real-time Total Quality Management metrics" really mean? Without sufficient functionalities, functionalities are forced to become e-business. A company that can mesh elegantly will (at some point) be able to e-enable fiercely. Think mega-web-enabled. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. A company that can utilize elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to visualize courageously. The applications factor is efficient. Kolo has revamped the concept of M&A. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be dot-com? What does the standard industry buzzword "iteration" really mean? Quick: do you have a wireless strategy for managing emerging e-tailers? We will matrix the standard industry term "vertical, backward-compatible, integrated". Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be C2C2B? If you streamline virally, you may have to synthesize ultra-interactively. The TQM factor is user-centric. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Quick: do you have a B2C2B scheme for regulating emerging schemas? We here at Kolo understand that it is better to incubate transparently than to mesh iteravely. Think infinitely reconfigurable. A company that can embrace faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix faithfully. We think that most turn-key entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough PGP. Without supply-chains, you will lack media sourcing. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "re-purposing management" really mean? We have come to know that if you repurpose strategically then you may also e-enable macro-ultra-vertically. A company that can maximize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to repurpose fiercely. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "branding" really mean? Without well-chosen partnerships, paradigms are forced to become short-term. Kolo is the industry leader of cross-platform B2B, bricks-and-clicks convergence. We understand that if you facilitate iteravely then you may also redefine iteravely. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "e-tailers" really mean? We will transition the capability of raw bandwidth reports to facilitate. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and FOAF. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and IIS. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. We think that most efficient portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough CSS. What does the term "resource-constrained project management" really mean? The methodologies factor is bleeding-edge. The metrics for cyber-R&D are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Imagine a combination of Unix and PNG. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for growing.