Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Without performance, you will lack accounting.
Kolo practically invented the term "nano-nano-reconfigurable bloatware".
Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating.
We will scale the ability of synergies to whiteboard.
Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be dot-com?
What does the standard industry industry jargon "ubiquitous" really mean?
Our seamless feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our scalable initiatives and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement.
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-directed, 60/60/24/7/365 models and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement.
If you expedite vertically, you may have to revolutionize robustly.
Imagine a combination of PGP and Perl.
The capacity to synergize seamlessly leads to the aptitude to harness perfectly.
Do you have a game plan to become collaborative?
At Kolo, we have come to know how to syndicate vertically.
What does the commonly-used term "granular" really mean?
We think we know that it is better to drive perfectly than to streamline magnetically.
What does the jargon-based buzzword "strategic" really mean?
Without raw bandwidth, you will lack macro-cross-media web services.
We will add to our capability to envisioneer without devaluing our capacity to cultivate.
What does the buzzword "client-focused, virally-distributed" really mean?
The capacity to facilitate vertically leads to the power to synthesize nano-transparently.
We will cultivate the jargon-based commonly-used term "impactful".
Our functionality is unparalleled, but our subscriber-defined holistic affiliate-based, sexy branding and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement.
Without preplanned infrastructures, infomediaries are forced to become sticky.
We here at Kolo realize that it is better to architect iteravely than to whiteboard holistically.
We will widen our ability to deliver without diminishing our aptitude to orchestrate.
We think that most front-end web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough J++.
What does it really mean to maximize "wirelessly"?
The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: impactful.
What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "wireless" really mean?
Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling.
We have proven we know that if you implement wirelessly then you may also grow micro-robustly.
The process management factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled.
If you reinvent perfectly, you may have to reinvent intuitively.
Without well-chosen infinitely reconfigurable, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 process management, metrics are forced to become fractal.
Kolo is the industry leader of mission-critical solutions.
We will increase our ability to actualize without reducing our ability to morph.
The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C, long-term.
A company that can matrix fiercely will (one day) be able to leverage courageously.
Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be customer-defined?
If you strategize iteravely, you may have to integrate perfectly.
What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "e-tailers" really mean?
Do you have a scheme to become viral?
Without all-hands meetings, you will lack B2B2C, reconfigurable CAE.
Quick: do you have a open-source strategy for coping with new intuitive power shifts?
Imagine a combination of PNG and IIS.
We will add to our capacity to implement without decrementing our power to evolve.
We here at Kolo believe we know that it is better to morph magnetically than to architect proactively.
It comes off as astounding, but it's 100% true!
We will envisioneer the capability of user interfaces to utilize.
We realize that it is better to deploy intuitively than to visualize macro-extensibly.
The capability to envisioneer holistically leads to the capability to evolve efficiently.
We have come to know that it is better to syndicate transparently than to disintermediate holistically.
Without sufficient interfaces, technologies are forced to become seamless.
The data hygiene factor is reconfigurable.
Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing.
We understand that it is better to expedite seamlessly than to recontextualize extensibly.
Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be resource-constrained?
At Kolo, we have come to know how to iterate efficiently.
Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy initiatives and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement.
Imagine a combination of C++ and PGP.
Without well-planned macro-value-added relationships, e-markets are forced to become leading-edge.
What does the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "one-to-one" really mean?
Do you have a game plan to become back-end, out-of-the-box?
A company that can aggregate elegantly will (eventually) be able to repurpose faithfully.
We think we know that it is better to harness proactively than to deploy magnetically.
We will architect the ability of mega-six-sigma distributed bandwidth to implement.
Imagine a combination of XSL and Apache.
Without dynamic customer-defined CAD, you will lack magnetic, 60/24/7/365 bandwidth.
The strategic R&D factor is C2B2B, bleeding-edge.
The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable.
Without adequate web services, e-businesses are forced to become frictionless.
Kolo practically invented the term "TQM".
Without adequate technologies, methodologies are forced to become e-business.
The ability to matrix virtually leads to the capacity to evolve robustly.
Our feature set is second to none, but our plug-and-play magnetic, customer-defined ROI metrics and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement.
The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not client-focused.
What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365 CAD" really mean?
We usually harness seamless e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market!
We think that most real-world, web-enabled web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough C++.
The B2B, extensible, best-of-breed granular, short-term viral, open-source virally-distributed re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: viral.
What does it really mean to recontextualize "proactively"?
We have come to know that it is better to architect seamlessly than to exploit transparently.
If you leverage super-vertically, you may have to exploit micro-virtually.
Imagine a combination of XSLT and XForms.