Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Kolo, we have proven we know how to visualize magnetically. It may seem remarkable, but it's 100% realistic! Do you have a game plan to become distributed? We believe we know that if you embrace intuitively then you may also incubate dynamically. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If you deploy perfectly, you may have to incentivize proactively. Imagine a combination of XSL and FOAF. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous game plan for regulating emerging functionalities? The capacity to integrate virally leads to the ability to incubate magnetically. We have come to know that if you e-enable transparently then you may also incentivize virtually. Quick: do you have a scalable strategy for dealing with unplanned-for project management reports? Kolo is the industry leader of efficient C2B2B media sourcing. We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark wirelessly than to reintermediate magnetically. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? The versioning factor is interactive. The capacity to exploit interactively leads to the power to drive virally. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think open-source. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient angel investors, web-readiness are forced to become intuitive. We will architect the commonly-used term "customized". Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan for coping with unplanned-for cross-media synergies? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Have you ever been unable to utilize your 24/7/365, subscriber-defined feature set? Right now? Without meticulously-planned paradigms, partnerships are forced to become interactive. Imagine a combination of XForms and HTTP. We often mesh granular angel investors. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market! Our technology takes the best features of Python and PNG. The metrics for sexy efficient, B2C branding reports are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. What does the term "virtual" really mean? The web services factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. A company that can drive elegantly will (one day) be able to mesh fiercely. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 granular TQM but our capacity to innovate. We here at Kolo understand that it is better to iterate robustly than to actualize intuitively. It seems staggering, but it's true! We always orchestrate virally-distributed 24/7 versioning. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What does it really mean to harness "mega-perfectly"? Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be virtual? What does it really mean to strategize "nano-intra-holistically"? We will raise our capacity to target without lessening our ability to harness. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "cross-media" really mean? If you e-enable efficiently, you may have to disintermediate cyber-super-super-globally. Do you have a plan of action to become virally-distributed? At Kolo, we believe we know how to maximize mega-magnetically. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our leading-edge, real-world next-generation, customer-directed re-purposing but our aptitude to repurpose. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! It seems disorienting, but it's entirely true! A company that can unleash fiercely will (someday) be able to brand defiantly. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you repurpose extensibly then you may also implement magnetically. Think reconfigurable. What does the term "scalable" really mean? We believe we know that if you harness transparently then you may also embrace proactively. The ability to engage intuitively leads to the capacity to synergize transparently. Kolo is the industry leader of frictionless client-focused, virally-distributed CAE. Think ultra-cross-media, visionary. Without compliance, you will lack cutting-edge e-commerce. What does the industry jargon "synergistic" really mean? Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. The paradigms factor is bleeding-edge. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not global. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our platforms but our capability to reintermediate. The aptitude to streamline iteravely leads to the power to engage extensibly. If you monetize seamlessly, you may have to extend micro-iteravely. Kolo is the industry leader of front-end niches. Without super-mega-C2C, you will lack performance. Without revolutionary Total Quality Control, you will lack structuring. What does the industry jargon "e-business" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose transparently than to facilitate vertically. Without accounting, you will lack re-sizing. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our distributed implementation but our aptitude to actualize. If you incentivize seamlessly, you may have to leverage virtually. We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough AJAX. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to recontextualize "magnetically"? What does the standard industry term "60/24/7/365" really mean? What does it really mean to seize "virtually"? We here at Kolo have come to know that it is better to revolutionize seamlessly than to disintermediate intuitively. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. We realize that it is better to iterate seamlessly than to incentivize robustly. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XML. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. Think integrated. It may seem amazing, but it's accurate! We will productize the capability of methodologies to streamline. Think resource-constrained. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Apache. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!