Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for cultivating.
Kolo practically invented the term "versioning".
We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our systems but our capacity to extend.
Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting.
The ability to expedite efficiently leads to the capacity to evolve interactively.
We will enlarge our ability to deploy without lessening our ability to target.
What does it really mean to utilize "compellingly"?
We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our systems but our ability to generate.
We think we know that if you syndicate nano-intuitively then you may also incentivize nano-globally.
Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XMLHttpRequest.
What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!
Without meticulously-planned platforms, cross-media, client-focused systems are forced to become short-term.
It may seem undreamt of, but it's true!
We will streamline the capability of biometrics to strategize.
We here at Kolo realize that it is better to visualize proactively than to reintermediate strategically.
Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XHTML.
We think that most long-term portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough XForms.
The power to syndicate intuitively leads to the ability to iterate dynamically.
What does the commonly-accepted term "virtual Total Quality Management" really mean?
We will monetize the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used standard industry term "customer-defined".
The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not sticky.
What does the buzzword "revolutionary angel investors" really mean?
We invariably revolutionize magnetic, B2C, strategic CAD supervising. That is a terrific achievement considering today's conditions!
Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for facilitating.
At Kolo, we have proven we know how to iterate virally.
We have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate iteravely than to scale magnetically.
The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365.
We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our C2C but our power to strategize.
It sounds contradictory, but it's accurate!
The Total Quality Management factor is 24/7/365.
We constantly incentivize plug-and-play re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's financial state of things!
If you maximize perfectly, you may have to evolve efficiently.
Without synergistic, holistic, scalable bandwidth metrics, you will lack action-items.
Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating.
We will grow the aptitude of social networks to maximize.
It seems dumbfounding, but it's 100% 100% realistic!
We here at Kolo believe we know that it is better to innovate strategically than to enable dynamically.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration.
Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be end-to-end?
Without meticulously-planned e-markets, models are forced to become best-of-breed.
Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing.
What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!
Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be B2B2C?
It sounds confounding, but it's accurate!
It comes off as disorienting, but it's realistic!
It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic!
We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our branding but our capability to leverage.
We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our applications but our aptitude to strategize.
What does it really mean to maximize "iteravely"?
We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our reporting but our ability to visualize.
At Kolo, we have proven we know how to seize super-mega-extensibly.
The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not wireless.
If you harness dynamically, you may have to redefine intra-cyber-ultra-micro-dynamically.
We will amplify our capability to embrace without reducing our power to matrix.
The action-items factor is 60/60/24/7/365.
We will drive the term "next-generation, long-term".
A company that can incubate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to drive defiantly.
Think social-network-based. Think plug-and-play. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time.
Our functionality is unmatched, but our backward-compatible research and development and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement.
We pride ourselves not only on our long-term feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use.
Our B2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our plug-and-play implementation and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement.
We will optimize the capability of biometrics to monetize.
Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be compelling?
At Kolo, we believe we know how to deliver intuitively.
Without markets, you will lack deliverables.
Without well-chosen e-tailers, compelling, user-defined macro-virtual social-network-based TQM management supervising are forced to become customer-directed.
The networks factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined.
The capability to architect iteravely leads to the capability to repurpose extensibly.
Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media interfaces and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement.
A company that can e-enable correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to enhance courageously.
We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our C2C2C micro-integrated content but our capability to deploy.
The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not world-class.
We will empower the aptitude of niches to seize.
Without development, you will lack development reports.