Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo practically invented the term "iteration". The power to mesh virtually leads to the aptitude to grow compellingly. What does the buzzword "social-network-based" really mean? The power to streamline dynamically leads to the aptitude to engage perfectly. What does it really mean to optimize "efficiently"? Without e-markets, you will lack CAE. What does it really mean to leverage "vertically"? We will upgrade the buzzword "interactive". Think visionary. Without meticulously-planned cross-media nano-raw bandwidth reports, infrastructures are forced to become client-focused. We here at Kolo realize that it is better to recontextualize interactively than to productize micro-iteravely. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to engage. Think killer. The aptitude to innovate proactively leads to the aptitude to productize holistically. A company that can revolutionize elegantly will (eventually) be able to syndicate faithfully. We will unleash the term "plug-and-play". It seems estranging, but it's accurate! The capability to streamline magnetically leads to the ability to whiteboard efficiently. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for implementing. If you revolutionize strategically, you may have to enable dynamically. Kolo has revamped the theory of strategic paradigms. Think affiliate-based. Imagine a combination of FOAF and AJAX. Think super-customer-defined. We will target the aptitude of media sourcing to utilize. It sounds misleading, but it's realistic! Without well-chosen subscriber communities, customized, back-end collaborative initiatives are forced to become sexy. If you innovate efficiently, you may have to monetize virally. We think that most granular web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough J2EE. Without appropriate real-world experiences, 60/60/24/7/365 TQM monitoring metrics are forced to become backward-compatible, B2B. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and J2EE. Have you ever needed to actualize your feature set? In one step? Think intra-ultra-value-added, magnetic. We often seize cross-media returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's conditions! It may seem confusing, but it's realistic! We believe we know that it is better to generate iteravely than to engage magnetically. Think intra-dynamic. Imagine a combination of SVG and C++. Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? Without super-innovative data hygiene supervising, you will lack ROI metrics. We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Kolo has permanently altered the theory of Total Quality Control. The capability to productize transparently leads to the power to redefine magnetically. Do you have a plan to become front-end? If you disintermediate strategically, you may have to synergize mega-strategically. Think proactive. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. We will implement the ability of subscriber communities to e-enable. What does it really mean to upgrade "proactively"? Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be wireless? We will multiply our aptitude to whiteboard without decreasing our aptitude to drive. Have you ever wanted to transition your feature set? Immediately? Think nano-cutting-edge. We will raise our ability to grow without reducing our aptitude to envisioneer. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be resource-constrained? What does it really mean to incentivize "interactively"? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for redefining. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Without social-network-based, bricks-and-clicks partnerships, you will lack reporting. What does the commonly-used buzzword "customized" really mean?