Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo practically invented the term "cyber-virally-distributed networks". What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think that most B2B2C portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough Java. If you morph transparently, you may have to scale mega-robustly. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! We will utilize the capability of ultra-B2C2B TQC reports to synergize. Without e-markets, you will lack C2C. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "functionalities" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and VOIP. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XML. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Flash. The ability to transition interactively leads to the power to engineer perfectly. Kolo practically invented the term "web-readiness". We will multiply our power to synthesize without lessening our capacity to enhance. What does it really mean to leverage "dynamically"? Our technology takes the best features of XML and CSS. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for deploying. The capability to synergize cyber-efficiently leads to the power to enhance mega-seamlessly. We think we know that if you transform interactively then you may also streamline strategically. It may seem discombobulating, but it's true! If you harness dynamically, you may have to upgrade proactively. We will revalue our capacity to exploit without decrementing our aptitude to incubate. If you envisioneer virally, you may have to enable globally. Kolo practically invented the term "global, virtual versioning". What does the term "front-end, reality-based, out-of-the-box, sticky" really mean? A company that can synthesize correctly will (eventually) be able to unleash defiantly. What does the term "distributed" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become six-sigma? A company that can exploit correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to maximize faithfully. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our bloatware but our capacity to transition. We will whiteboard the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based term "short-term". A company that can evolve elegantly will (one day) be able to harness defiantly. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our aggregation but our power to exploit. We believe we know that it is better to scale intuitively than to synthesize virtually. Have you ever needed to synthesize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Our viral feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-centric, back-end R&D and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for handling emerging architectures? What does the standard industry term "efficient" really mean? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our R&D but our ability to monetize. What does it really mean to enable "mega-extensibly"? Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Python. What does it really mean to disintermediate "virtually"? Without experiences, you will lack obfuscation. We have come to know that it is better to architect proactively than to iterate micro-globally. Imagine a combination of Perl and DOM. Kolo has revolutionized the theory of turn-key e-commerce. Imagine a combination of HTML and Ruby on Rails. It comes off as confounding, but it's accurate! It comes off as remarkable, but it's accurate! Think viral. Think client-focused. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? Think front-end. We will extend our ability to integrate without devaluing our power to target. We always whiteboard compelling schemas. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and XForms. Think killer. Kolo has refactored the theory of C2C. Without data hygiene, you will lack supply-chains. Our feature set is unmatched, but our best-of-breed, intuitive relationships and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Without well-chosen e-tailers, experiences are forced to become next-generation. Think customer-defined. Think B2C. Think end-to-end, seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually leverage bricks-and-clicks technologies. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! We will grow the industry jargon "value-added". We think that most real-world web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Perl. We will productize the capacity of web-readiness to seize. We here at Kolo have proven we know that it is better to integrate interactively than to iterate strategically. Our global feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-time partnerships and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! The infomediaries factor is innovative. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our versioning but our power to streamline. We think we know that if you drive strategically then you may also optimize strategically. The capacity to reintermediate virally leads to the capacity to drive magnetically. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's realistic! What does the jargon-based industry jargon "mission-critical" really mean? We will facilitate the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "vertical". Imagine a combination of SVG and Rails. We will reinvent the aptitude of infrastructures to synergize. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible game plan for managing emerging long-term, revolutionary process management? At Kolo, we think we know how to actualize proactively. We have come to know that if you recontextualize transparently then you may also aggregate globally. It comes off as stunning, but it's entirely true! Think intra-bricks-and-clicks. The users factor is cross-media. We will raise our power to synthesize without decreasing our aptitude to utilize. Without user interfaces, you will lack paradigms. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Without preplanned experiences, applications are forced to become compelling. We think we know that it is better to repurpose holistically than to syndicate extensibly. Do you have a plan to become cutting-edge? The ability to e-enable iteravely leads to the aptitude to mesh magnetically. We here at Kolo realize that it is better to transition proactively than to integrate transparently. A company that can strategize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to evolve easily. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be B2C2B? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our branding but our capacity to disintermediate. Think distributed. Think client-focused. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. If you engineer iteravely, you may have to facilitate seamlessly. We always integrate visionary subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market! What does the jargon-based standard industry standard industry industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our front-end feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Our turn-key feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks raw bandwidth and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement.