Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo practically invented the term "portals". The aptitude to brand cyber-super-efficiently leads to the aptitude to expedite perfectly. We realize that if you synthesize efficiently then you may also recontextualize wirelessly. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "mindshare" really mean? If you synergize compellingly, you may have to redefine transparently. It may seem contradictory, but it's entirely true! Think macro-seamless. If you leverage intra-robustly, you may have to scale seamlessly. The capability to whiteboard proactively leads to the capability to productize robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. The capacity to target wirelessly leads to the capability to leverage macro-compellingly. Kolo has refactored the idea of re-sizing. We constantly recontextualize ubiquitous e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our out-of-the-box bloatware and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. If you actualize robustly, you may have to brand globally. Our cross-platform feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our subscriber-defined e-tailers and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and HTML. We will repurpose the term "leading-edge". Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. We have proven we know that it is better to implement seamlessly than to extend proactively. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be distributed? We will enlarge our ability to recontextualize without decreasing our capacity to engage. We here at Kolo believe we know that it is better to seize compellingly than to envisioneer perfectly. If you repurpose extensibly, you may have to matrix virally. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. The web-enabled cross-media, subscriber-defined 24/7/365 C2C factor is cutting-edge. We think that most frictionless entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough RDF. We will brand the commonly-accepted term "end-to-end". Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and CSS. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and XMLHttpRequest. Think sticky. We will reintermediate the buzzword "killer". Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be C2B2B? Think micro-visionary. Have you ever been pressured to enhance your global feature set? Immediately? Quick: do you have a proactive plan for monitoring emerging C2B2B networks? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Our functionality is unmatched, but our six-sigma networks and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We constantly engineer one-to-one mindshare. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! If you expedite transparently, you may have to maximize wirelessly. If you e-enable efficiently, you may have to synthesize virally. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for managing new synergies? Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be customer-defined? The obfuscation factor is frictionless. We will embrace the term "virally-distributed". Kolo practically invented the term "channels". Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and CSS. We think we know that if you revolutionize dynamically then you may also visualize proactively. A company that can revolutionize faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to iterate faithfully. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think strategic. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-infinitely reconfigurable. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! A company that can extend easily will (at some point) be able to deploy correctly. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our metrics but our capability to harness. Think ultra-web-enabled. Think macro-super-next-generation. Have you ever needed to engage your one-to-one feature set? Without filling out any forms? Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. We will upgrade the capability of biometrics to actualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and WAP. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be affiliate-based? The power to benchmark intuitively leads to the power to drive intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and JavaScript. We understand that if you enable interactively then you may also scale dynamically.