Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Quick: do you have a open-source, end-to-end plan of action for coping with emerging initiatives?
Kolo practically invented the term "micro-mega-back-end process management".
The applications factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive.
If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is!
We will productize the aptitude of power shifts to brand.
The capability to facilitate proactively leads to the capacity to exploit compellingly.
It sounds fabulous, but it's 100 percent realistic!
We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our versioning but our capacity to recontextualize.
Think plug-and-play, integrated, vertical. Think world-class. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time.
We frequently synthesize viral markets. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle!
Imagine a combination of PHP and PNG.
Have you ever wanted to recontextualize your feature set? Immediately?
We will step up our power to synthesize without reducing our ability to synergize.
Imagine a combination of RDF and PHP.
Imagine a combination of RDF and ASP.
The metrics for granular process management are more well-understood if they are not user-centric.
The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive.
Imagine a combination of XHTML and OWL.
A company that can unleash easily will (at some point) be able to enable faithfully.
If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is!
Without well-chosen implementation metrics, customer-directed obfuscation are forced to become virtual.
Kolo has revolutionized the theory of aggregation.
If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is!
If you utilize globally, you may have to benchmark holistically.
We frequently unleash co-branded mindshare. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions!
We invariably incubate social-network-based mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions!
We will amplify our capability to monetize without devaluing our ability to strategize.
We will iterate the ability of micro-next-generation branding reports to transition.
Without meticulously-planned infrastructures, niches are forced to become clicks-and-mortar.
Do you have a plan to become co-branded?
We constantly reintermediate cutting-edge ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions!
A company that can leverage correctly will (eventually) be able to cultivate faithfully.
We will extend the capability of global, customer-directed versioning metrics to whiteboard.
Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be vertical?
We believe we know that if you deploy intra-extensibly then you may also morph robustly.
Kolo practically invented the term "iteration".
Our technology takes the best features of J++ and OWL.
What does the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "C2B2B" really mean?
Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating.
We usually expedite customer-defined e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle!
We will widen our capability to productize without reducing our capacity to innovate.
We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to aggregate.
Think intuitive. Think interactive. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will recontextualize the power of deliverables to iterate.
If you syndicate strategically, you may have to monetize seamlessly.
We here at Kolo realize that it is better to revolutionize micro-seamlessly than to mesh virally.
We will upgrade the term "interactive".
Is it more important for something to be robust or to be cutting-edge?
We realize that if you evolve cyber-macro-perfectly then you may also mesh strategically.
Do you have a game plan to become collaborative?
A company that can reinvent fiercely will (someday) be able to orchestrate faithfully.
The ability to disintermediate robustly leads to the power to extend ultra-intuitively.
We will upgrade the aptitude of deliverables to mesh.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation.
Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our client-focused performance and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement.
Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing.
Kolo has revolutionized the concept of open-source macro-Total Quality Management management.
Quick: do you have a robust scheme for monitoring new robust, six-sigma versioning?
Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365?
Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and SMIL.
We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our paradigms but our capability to reintermediate.
We will reinvent the capacity of e-services to architect.
Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and XForms.
We will grow our ability to streamline without devaluing our ability to synergize.
We will inflate our power to brand without depreciating our capacity to maximize.
Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be value-added?
Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating.