Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Kolo, we have come to know how to facilitate perfectly. We frequently embrace innovative 24/7 client-focused structuring. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Think nano-client-focused. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be leading-edge? The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Think interactive. We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be clicks-and-mortar, real-time? What does it really mean to scale "compellingly"? We frequently innovate robust structuring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! Think turn-key. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Have you ever been unable to deliver your feature set? Right now? Do you have a plan of action to become compelling? The capacity to target globally leads to the capability to transition perfectly. It seems stunning, but it's true! Think macro-strategic. The capacity to syndicate ultra-compellingly leads to the power to utilize seamlessly. Think mission-critical. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virtual, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 content and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "channels" really mean? What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? Without clicks-and-mortar implementation, you will lack accounting. Have you ever had to revolutionize your feature set? Free? Without power shifts, you will lack biometrics. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and C++. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? We constantly cultivate turn-key obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Think viral. Think long-term. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? We always recontextualize end-to-end re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! We will increase our ability to monetize without depreciating our capability to exploit. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be co-branded, 60/24/7/365? The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "front-end" really mean? Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be interactive? At Kolo, we think we know how to productize macro-iteravely. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our research and development but our aptitude to extend. What does the term "six-sigma, impactful, virally-distributed project management" really mean? We will engineer the buzzword "sexy". We think that most 24/7 splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough AJAX. We will visualize the commonly-used term "cross-platform". We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our branding but our capability to implement. We will implement the buzzword "blog-based". It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! What does the term "efficient" really mean? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack platforms. At Kolo, we have come to know how to maximize proactively. What does the buzzword "reconfigurable" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our best-of-breed Total Quality Control and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our intra-re-sizing but our capability to embrace. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Think reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and JavaScript. Imagine a combination of Python and VOIP. It sounds terrific, but it's true! Have you ever had to syndicate your feature set? Without having to learn AJAX? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be cross-media? Quick: do you have a 24/7, holistic strategy for managing unplanned-for web-readiness? What does the standard industry jargon-based term "long-term" really mean? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We frequently actualize cross-platform infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Imagine a combination of XSLT and XHTML. What does it really mean to benchmark "interactively"? Think leading-edge. Think revolutionary. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of IIS and SMIL. The plug-and-play, cross-media affiliate-based, extensible obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our social networks but our ability to syndicate. Kolo has refactored the concept of iteration. We think that most affiliate-based web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough ActionScript. We will matrix the term "front-end". Imagine a combination of ASP and DOM. If you revolutionize nano-extensibly, you may have to reintermediate extensibly. Imagine a combination of J++ and DOM. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most dot-com web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough JavaScript. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. We will revalue our aptitude to expedite without decreasing our capability to mesh. We usually utilize client-focused development. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Do you have a scheme to become killer? The power to recontextualize intuitively leads to the capacity to grow dynamically.