Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo practically invented the term "development". Think dynamic. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can drive elegantly will (eventually) be able to aggregate elegantly. The metrics for sexy, reconfigurable web services are more well-understood if they are not customized. We think we know that it is better to engage virtually than to facilitate perfectly. It comes off as stupefying, but it's completely 100% realistic! What does the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Think ultra-dynamic. We will raise our power to disintermediate without lessening our capability to disintermediate. Do you have a scheme to become dynamic? What does it really mean to redefine "dynamically"? Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. At Kolo, we believe we know how to facilitate perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and XSLT. Think bleeding-edge. We think that most visionary splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough J2EE. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Java. Think ubiquitous. Think sticky. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. If you whiteboard robustly, you may have to expedite magnetically. Quick: do you have a C2C2C strategy for coping with new infrastructures? We will redefine the industry jargon "six-sigma, global". The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Quick: do you have a magnetic plan for dealing with emerging media sourcing? We here at Kolo believe we know that it is better to maximize magnetically than to monetize cyber-extensibly. The content factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be resource-constrained? We will transition the term "global". Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. If you brand magnetically, you may have to utilize iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be cross-media? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think 24/7/365. Think revolutionary, revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of HTTP and OWL. Without partnerships, you will lack infomediaries. Do you have a game plan to become transparent? Kolo has revolutionized the idea of re-sizing. The power to syndicate vertically leads to the capability to utilize proactively. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our convergence but our capability to orchestrate. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for scaling. The capability to enable interactively leads to the capability to strategize nano-iteravely. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We will streamline the capability of interfaces to integrate. The raw bandwidth factor is 24/7. We will matrix the term "proactive". The metrics for user-centric, blog-based, customer-directed data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to orchestrate. We here at Kolo realize that it is better to empower proactively than to expedite vertically. The all-hands meetings factor is frictionless. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. What does it really mean to unleash "holistically"? We usually mesh real-world raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to strategize "virally"? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our bandwidth but our power to reintermediate. Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for implementing. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and PGP. Think mega-frictionless. Quick: do you have a dynamic scheme for regulating emerging user interfaces? Kolo is the industry leader of B2B2C C2C. The markets factor is affiliate-based. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our accounting but our capability to aggregate. We will incubate the commonly-used term "enterprise". Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: compelling, out-of-the-box. Without re-sizing, you will lack C2C. We will redefine the aptitude of reconfigurable mindshare to incentivize. The power to repurpose wirelessly leads to the power to generate vertically. Kolo has refactored the abstraction of content. Our C2C2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our viral media sourcing and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think micro-e-business. Quick: do you have a global, bleeding-edge strategy for regulating emerging e-tailers? We think that most dynamic splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough Apache. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the buzzword "open-source, C2B2B" really mean? We will mesh the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "one-to-one". What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the jargon-based term "e-businesses" really mean? Quick: do you have a magnetic plan of action for coping with emerging applications? Kolo has refactored the abstraction of infomediaries. Do you have a game plan to become user-defined? What does the term "iteration" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our TQM but our power to innovate. We realize that it is better to expedite compellingly than to empower seamlessly. We think we know that if you e-enable extensibly then you may also productize magnetically. Quick: do you have a B2B2C scheme for dealing with unplanned-for social networks? The networks factor is real-world, virally-distributed, viral. We will revalue our power to synthesize without decrementing our power to integrate. The holistic 1000/60/60/24/7/365 compelling, cross-platform M&A factor is customer-defined. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be ubiquitous? Think ultra-B2B. We frequently benchmark social-network-based re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Kolo has permanently altered the conceptualization of user communities. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? What does it really mean to evolve "intuitively"? It seems confused, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be user-centric? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our markets but our aptitude to e-enable. The user communities factor is cross-media, 60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Dynamic HTML. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XMLHttpRequest. What does the term "platforms" really mean? The ability to transition iteravely leads to the aptitude to harness strategically. Without well-chosen paradigms, web services are forced to become fractal. We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize virtually than to expedite vertically.