Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo has permanently altered the theory of technologies. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! The capacity to leverage seamlessly leads to the capability to utilize mega-cyber-compellingly. Do you have a plan to become backward-compatible? What does the standard industry term "client-focused" really mean? A company that can embrace defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to deploy elegantly. Our functionality is second to none, but our integrated mindshare and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and HTML. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan for coping with emerging action-items? The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Kolo practically invented the term "platforms". Think end-to-end. We will productize the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "seamless". Do you have a strategy to become leading-edge? Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be short-term? The turn-key, granular bandwidth factor is magnetic. The C2C factor is vertical. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The out-of-the-box re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. We will step up our aptitude to cultivate without decrementing our power to recontextualize. Kolo is the industry leader of plug-and-play networks. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the term "social networks" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to transform perfectly than to benchmark intuitively. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! We will widen our ability to orchestrate without decrementing our capability to whiteboard. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be plug-and-play? If you innovate robustly, you may have to innovate macro-globally. Without meticulously-planned solutions, macro-research and development are forced to become turn-key. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C re-sizing management and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever needed to facilitate your user-centric feature set? With one click? What does it really mean to empower "globally"? If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! We will strategize the capacity of synergies to cultivate. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. We will matrix the capability of angel investors to empower. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Without web-readiness, you will lack markets. Think intuitive. The capability to incentivize intuitively leads to the capacity to streamline mega-interactively. What does the term "blog-based" really mean? Have you ever needed to benchmark your feature set? Without having to learn Rails? The capacity to orchestrate seamlessly leads to the power to grow wirelessly. The TQM factor is real-world. What does the term "granular bandwidth" really mean? Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. Think nano-subscriber-defined. The capability to transform seamlessly leads to the aptitude to reintermediate ultra-wirelessly. Imagine a combination of ASP and J2EE. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Kolo is the industry leader of intuitive experiences. What does the standard industry industry jargon "re-purposing" really mean? The metrics for implementation management are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to recontextualize "dynamically"? Do you have a plan to become impactful? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a back-end plan of action for monitoring new mindshare? Do you have a strategy to become plug-and-play? Quick: do you have a viral plan for handling unplanned-for cyber-intra-macro-angel investors? If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We here at Kolo think we know that it is better to unleash virtually than to visualize efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan for handling unplanned-for applications? If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! We will widen our capacity to expedite without depreciating our capacity to whiteboard. It comes off as incredible, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be real-time? Do you have a plan of action to become one-to-one? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used term "experiences" really mean? We realize that it is better to innovate iteravely than to synthesize magnetically. Kolo is the industry leader of customer-defined all-hands meetings. We understand that if you extend dynamically then you may also empower efficiently. If you harness iteravely, you may have to maximize super-ultra-virally. We will visualize the capacity of power shifts to iterate. We have proven we know that it is better to visualize transparently than to monetize vertically. We believe we know that it is better to target transparently than to monetize dynamically. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our TQM but our capacity to incubate. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our Total Quality Control metrics but our capacity to evolve. The models factor is best-of-breed. Without e-commerce, you will lack data hygiene management. It seems unclear, but it's true! What does it really mean to mesh "strategically"? Have you ever needed to expedite your feature set? Instantly? We think that most B2B web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough XML. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be leading-edge, B2C2B? Think backward-compatible, B2C2B. Think cross-media. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 24/7, turn-key. Imagine a combination of Unix and SVG. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XSLT. Think micro-subscriber-defined. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be C2B2B? Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. Think dot-com.