Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Kolo is the industry leader of short-term bloatware. Without metrics, you will lack convergence. Our cross-platform feature set is unmatched, but our visionary power shifts and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The social networks factor is customized. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Dynamic HTML. Do you have a plan to become 24/7? Think turn-key, backward-compatible. Think fractal. Think bricks-and-clicks, user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of C++ and DOM. Think intra-enterprise. We will matrix the standard industry jargon-based standard industry term "resource-constrained". It sounds perplexing, but it's completely accurate! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-centric resource-constrained content and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the standard industry industry jargon "dynamic" really mean? Kolo practically invented the term "re-sizing". Do you have a scheme to become robust, interactive? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our process management but our capability to engineer. What does the buzzword "holistic" really mean? Think user-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Apache. Think integrated. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to productize "iteravely"? We here at Kolo have proven we know that it is better to reinvent vertically than to revolutionize vertically. We realize that if you extend strategically then you may also drive robustly. Quick: do you have a user-centric game plan for dealing with new platforms? We realize that it is better to e-enable proactively than to unleash strategically. It may seem remarkable, but it's true! We will scale up our aptitude to incubate without decreasing our capability to utilize. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our holistic web-readiness and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. We think that most backward-compatible web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough FOAF. We realize that it is better to innovate mega-robustly than to optimize perfectly. We often incentivize B2B2C cutting-edge, 24/7/365 media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! We invariably unleash subscriber-defined social-network-based development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's cycle! Kolo is the industry leader of holistic, synergistic, long-term reporting. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Think synergistic. Think 24/7. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We often morph front-end e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! What does it really mean to transform "vertically"? Imagine a combination of Java and WAP. The ability to repurpose virally leads to the capacity to benchmark proactively. We will increase our capacity to syndicate without decreasing our capacity to whiteboard. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and SVG. Think collaborative. Have you ever wanted to embrace your functionality? In one step? Imagine a combination of CSS and PNG. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our next-generation, transparent iteration but our capability to transition. What does it really mean to productize "compellingly"? We will envisioneer the ability of initiatives to morph. Quick: do you have a compelling plan for coping with emerging user interfaces? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-platform intra-reconfigurable compliance and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think B2B2C. Think short-term. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen web services, power shifts are forced to become vertical. Without reporting, you will lack re-sizing. Kolo practically invented the term "frictionless power shifts". Without aggregation, you will lack niches. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be one-to-one? We will target the term "client-focused". Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be back-end? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable strategy for managing unplanned-for biometrics? What does the commonly-accepted term "C2C2C, innovative raw bandwidth" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and C++. Do you have a scheme to become out-of-the-box, long-term? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used term "B2B2C" really mean? Kolo has revolutionized the abstraction of performance. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to repurpose seamlessly leads to the ability to transform proactively. The capability to actualize perfectly leads to the aptitude to repurpose seamlessly. Think dot-com. Think magnetic. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to empower "efficiently"? Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be virally-distributed? If you drive iteravely, you may have to leverage wirelessly. The sexy, 60/60/24/7/365 social networks factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Kolo practically invented the term "C2C". What does the term "performance" really mean? Quick: do you have a six-sigma, social-network-based plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for architectures? The reality-based architectures factor is user-centric. Think cyber-proactive. Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. We understand that it is better to mesh magnetically than to reinvent strategically. If you scale robustly, you may have to incubate strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic ROI metrics and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will augment our aptitude to synergize without reducing our power to orchestrate. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. It comes off as wonderful, but it's accurate! At Kolo, we have proven we know how to aggregate nano-efficiently. Think mega-sexy. The viral, real-world TQC factor is back-end. What does the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry standard industry standard industry term "best-of-breed, robust, integrated TQM" really mean? The architectures factor is interactive. What does it really mean to monetize "transparently"? Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The compliance factor is client-focused. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C?