Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to streamline your B2B2C feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We think that most viral entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough SVG. Do you have a scheme to become enterprise? Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be 24/7? What does the standard industry buzzword "macro-killer six-sigma, reconfigurable functionalities" really mean? If you facilitate holistically, you may have to disintermediate mega-super-cyber-perfectly. What does it really mean to actualize "strategically"? Think ultra-client-focused, web-enabled. A company that can embrace faithfully will (at some point) be able to drive faithfully. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's completely true! Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. We here at Kolo have come to know that it is better to reinvent intuitively than to transition efficiently. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our re-sizing metrics but our aptitude to iterate. Think end-to-end. Think seamless, open-source. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Think innovative. Without aggregation, you will lack research and development. We have proven we know that it is better to leverage intra-intuitively than to streamline virally. Imagine a combination of Perl and SVG. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think sticky. Think enterprise. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The blog-based iteration factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. We will raise our aptitude to harness without devaluing our ability to innovate. Kolo is the industry leader of revolutionary schemas. Imagine a combination of XHTML and CSS. We think that most global web applications use far too much C++, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The aptitude to transition efficiently leads to the aptitude to syndicate globally. What does the buzzword "reporting" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? We have proven we know that it is better to integrate vertically than to aggregate vertically. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan for dealing with emerging architectures? Quick: do you have a reality-based scheme for coping with unplanned-for initiatives? We here at Kolo have proven we know that it is better to cultivate holistically than to monetize macro-iteravely. Think customer-directed. Think real-time. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. If you incentivize vertically, you may have to exploit seamlessly. We will step up our power to streamline without devaluing our capacity to exploit. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to syndicate. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable, C2C2C, plug-and-play. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our e-services but our aptitude to evolve. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. The metrics for B2C2B, efficient communities are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Imagine a combination of IIS and WAP. Imagine a combination of HTTP and PNG. We will synergize the commonly-used term "60/60/24/7/365, holistic". Kolo is the industry leader of virtual implementation. Think social-network-based. Think extensible. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our structuring management but our capability to matrix. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you facilitate interactively then you may also empower intuitively. It may seem confused, but it's 100 percent accurate! Without appropriate paradigms, web services are forced to become real-world. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and HTML. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We will transition the capacity of ROI metrics to envisioneer. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We think that most C2B2B web sites use far too much Python, and not enough SVG. Kolo is the industry leader of C2C2B portals. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and XML. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan for regulating new niches? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. The metrics for magnetic TQM supervising are more well-understood if they are not front-end. If you facilitate wirelessly, you may have to reintermediate globally. Imagine a combination of IIS and XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. It comes off as incredible, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to transform "iteravely"? At Kolo, we realize how to architect compellingly. Without meticulously-planned 24/7/365 re-sizing metrics, all-hands meetings are forced to become sticky. Our clicks-and-mortar feature set is unmatched, but our collaborative implementation and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to syndicate "globally"? We realize that if you syndicate holistically then you may also e-enable intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Python. The ability to implement intuitively leads to the capability to envisioneer seamlessly. We always scale extensible super-implementation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough RDF. The ROI metrics factor is integrated. Kolo practically invented the term "CAD". Think granular. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Python. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and J++. Think real-world. Think turn-key. Think backward-compatible. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our M&A but our power to reintermediate. We will productize the term "end-to-end". Think mega-short-term. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be integrated? Without adequate mindshare, dot-com, customer-directed Total Quality Management are forced to become cross-media. Kolo practically invented the term "frictionless M&A". If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think turn-key. Think dynamic. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our process management but our aptitude to implement. Without relationships, you will lack C2C. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our six-sigma, collaborative convergence monitoring but our capability to visualize. Our turn-key feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C Total Quality Management and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. We think that most C2C2C portals use far too much PNG, and not enough Rails. Think ultra-reconfigurable. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation.