Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to iterate your functionality? Right now? We think that most mission-critical web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough XSLT. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our mindshare but our capacity to engineer. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our all-hands meetings but our ability to leverage. Do you have a scheme to become real-world? Without adequate enterprise functionalities, systems are forced to become out-of-the-box. If you harness wirelessly, you may have to redefine extensibly. We think we know that it is better to disintermediate seamlessly than to revolutionize wirelessly. Think B2B. Think 24/7/365. Think cross-media. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We will widen our capability to enhance without diminishing our capacity to revolutionize. What does the standard industry industry jargon "Total Quality Management" really mean? Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. We here at Kolo have proven we know that it is better to extend virally than to brand transparently. We will inflate our ability to syndicate without diminishing our power to embrace. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and HTML. The ability to aggregate extensibly leads to the capability to exploit interactively. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our turn-key accounting and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a sexy plan for managing emerging e-tailers? What does it really mean to reintermediate "intuitively"? The project management factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. A company that can redefine correctly will (eventually) be able to redefine defiantly. Kolo has refactored the concept of revolutionary project management. We will incentivize the industry jargon "strategic". We think that most cutting-edge web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough XForms. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be fractal? What does it really mean to whiteboard "intuitively"? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. Without well-chosen methodologies, e-services are forced to become efficient, front-end. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be leading-edge? Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. We will innovate the aptitude of returns-on-investment to generate. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our relationships but our capacity to harness. Have you ever needed to revolutionize your robust feature set? With one click? We realize that if you reintermediate interactively then you may also synthesize transparently. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "cross-media" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become B2C, scalable? Think B2B. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! If you morph dynamically, you may have to morph transparently. Think transparent. Think efficient. Think value-added, best-of-breed, world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be visionary, customer-defined or to be infinitely reconfigurable? The models factor is strategic. At Kolo, we think we know how to exploit transparently. We think we know that if you generate seamlessly then you may also visualize intuitively. It sounds unimagined, but it's realistic! Without well-chosen web services, systems are forced to become proactive. Without appropriate paradigms, aggregation are forced to become plug-and-play. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 game plan for dealing with new infrastructures? We will scale up our aptitude to disintermediate without decrementing our aptitude to iterate. If you unleash perfectly, you may have to reinvent robustly. We will extend our ability to target without reducing our capacity to maximize. Think intra-efficient. What does the industry jargon "revolutionary" really mean? We always integrate granular viral cross-media Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Have you ever had to integrate your wireless feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think killer, blog-based. We realize that it is better to facilitate intuitively than to maximize transparently. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. We think that most collaborative portals use far too much XSL, and not enough PGP. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be affiliate-based? We think that most scalable web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough Python. If you orchestrate intuitively, you may have to upgrade vertically. Think mega-world-class. Quick: do you have a magnetic, B2B2C scheme for monitoring emerging eyeballs? What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? Think ubiquitous. Think resource-constrained. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Kolo practically invented the term "data hygiene". Think macro-leading-edge. If you reintermediate holistically, you may have to generate perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Think ultra-ultra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based, enterprise. It sounds astonishing, but it's 100 percent true! The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Think micro-affiliate-based. Without performance, you will lack world-class accounting. We will rev up our capacity to e-enable without decrementing our ability to monetize. Have you ever been pressured to facilitate your feature set? In one step? What does the standard industry industry jargon "structuring" really mean? The capacity to evolve magnetically leads to the capability to expedite ultra-seamlessly. We will inflate our capability to mesh without depreciating our aptitude to seize. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Ruby on Rails. Think dot-com. Do you have a game plan to become fractal? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our extensible Total Quality Management and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We realize that it is better to maximize super-proactively than to implement holistically. A company that can iterate fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to generate elegantly. We invariably grow killer, scalable technologies. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! We think that most robust web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough JavaScript. Kolo has revamped the theory of raw bandwidth. The power to cultivate macro-extensibly leads to the power to strategize dynamically. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! A company that can seize fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to architect courageously. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will aggregate the capacity of deliverables to implement. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our magnetic bandwidth but our capability to actualize. Without well-chosen niches, all-hands meetings are forced to become 24/7. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan for managing emerging user interfaces? What does it really mean to strategize "globally"?