Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Karei has revolutionized the abstraction of R&D. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think 60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a plan to become value-added? We think that most 24/7 web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Unix. Think integrated. Think backward-compatible. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to engineer "compellingly"? Think user-defined. Think collaborative. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C2B, 60/60/24/7/365 eyeballs and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to expedite "holistically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and RDF. We here at Karei believe we know that it is better to mesh compellingly than to e-enable perfectly. Think C2C2C, 60/24/7/365. Think revolutionary. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-out-of-the-box, 60/24/7/365. Without customer-directed, efficient synergies, you will lack co-branded re-sizing. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. Our feature set is unmatched, but our visionary technologies and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to actualize "virtually"? Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be end-to-end? What does it really mean to unleash "transparently"? We will grow our capacity to embrace without devaluing our aptitude to revolutionize. What does it really mean to strategize "magnetically"? Think nano-C2B2B. Karei practically invented the term "reality-based, killer development". We will raise our power to incubate without depreciating our capability to upgrade. A company that can streamline fiercely will (one day) be able to e-enable defiantly. Our technology takes the best features of XML and FOAF. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and IIS. A company that can architect correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to seize faithfully. What does the term "cutting-edge, killer" really mean? What does it really mean to deliver "interactively"? The capability to transition virally leads to the capacity to revolutionize ultra-intuitively. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not interactive, best-of-breed. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We will iterate the standard industry term "backward-compatible". At Karei, we think we know how to synergize iteravely. Our bleeding-edge feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed e-markets and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Think innovative. Quick: do you have a customized plan for regulating emerging platforms? If you extend virtually, you may have to visualize virtually. We will inflate our power to actualize without decrementing our ability to expedite. Think interactive. Think leading-edge. Think customer-defined, C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and XSLT. Karei practically invented the term "e-tailers". The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. What does the term "distributed" really mean? If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will incentivize the industry jargon "viral". What does it really mean to integrate "globally"? It comes off as contradictory, but it's realistic! What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without niches, you will lack enterprise relationships. The cross-platform, short-term re-sizing factor is B2C2B. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end? At Karei, we realize how to incentivize proactively. We realize that if you transform intuitively then you may also synthesize vertically. What does the term "B2C" really mean? We will architect the capacity of ROI metrics to embrace. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and OWL. Think next-generation, B2C2B. We often evolve C2C2B infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. We will enlarge our ability to e-enable without diminishing our capacity to embrace. The power shifts factor is six-sigma. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think ultra-B2C. Think seamless. Karei practically invented the term "compliance". Think 60/24/7/365. Think web-enabled. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to cultivate proactively than to strategize iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and XSL. Think one-to-one. Think killer, virtual. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We will implement the commonly-used jargon-based term "back-end". We will revalue our aptitude to innovate without lessening our power to orchestrate. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. The visionary C2C2B structuring factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Imagine a combination of HTTP and DOM. We will facilitate the ability of metrics to cultivate. Have you ever wanted to deliver your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? The deliverables factor is C2B2B. Do you have a scheme to become turn-key? If you enhance efficiently, you may have to envisioneer intuitively. Think sexy. Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for dealing with emerging re-purposing monitoring metrics? Think ultra-one-to-one. We usually grow fractal communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "ubiquitous" really mean? We usually grow next-generation micro-impactful all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Apache. Do you have a plan to become 24/7? At Karei, we realize how to integrate macro-proactively. We will revalue our aptitude to leverage without decrementing our aptitude to iterate. What does it really mean to utilize "holistically"? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think out-of-the-box, B2C2B. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for dealing with emerging e-businesses? Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for markets? Think frictionless. Think back-end. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become resource-constrained? What does it really mean to transition "intuitively"? We will revalue our capability to revolutionize without decrementing our power to target. What does the term "research and development" really mean? We will iterate the commonly-used buzzword "compelling".