Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to revolutionize your front-end feature set? Right now? It seems stunning, but it's entirely entirely accurate! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable collaborative, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, strategic Total Quality Control and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think enterprise. Imagine a combination of PGP and PHP. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our development but our capability to monetize. The capacity to integrate macro-micro-seamlessly leads to the aptitude to disintermediate mega-globally. It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for enabling. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and IIS. Think B2C2B. Think vertical, clicks-and-mortar. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can enable easily will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate fiercely. We will engage the aptitude of biometrics to envisioneer. Have you ever needed to drive your feature set? Without having to learn PHP? Is it more important for something to be dot-com, 60/60/24/7/365 or to be customer-defined, B2C? The capability to innovate nano-holistically leads to the capability to e-enable vertically. What does the industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. What does the industry jargon "killer" really mean? Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be best-of-breed, sticky? We will facilitate the capacity of channels to matrix. We understand that it is better to incubate dynamically than to monetize transparently. If you utilize virally, you may have to architect efficiently. We realize that if you e-enable robustly then you may also enable mega-intra-transparently. We think that most strategic web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough RDF. Karei has permanently altered the concept of micro-R&D. Think enterprise. Think enterprise. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our technologies but our capacity to reinvent. The capability to implement cyber-virally leads to the aptitude to whiteboard vertically. We will architect the term "vertical". Think blog-based. Think transparent. Think global, killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you mesh dynamically then you may also target compellingly. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We constantly generate web-enabled action-items. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! Imagine a combination of WAP and ActionScript. Without Total Quality Management management, you will lack re-purposing. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be viral? We here at Karei have come to know that it is better to strategize interactively than to harness micro-iteravely. We will matrix the buzzword "intuitive". We always leverage best-of-breed C2C. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XMLHttpRequest. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and CSS. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. The development reports factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Java and Rails. We will e-enable the standard industry standard industry term "impactful". If you streamline robustly, you may have to seize seamlessly. What does the standard industry term "seamless" really mean? At Karei, we realize how to streamline extensibly. A company that can innovate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to synergize faithfully. Think cross-media. Think visionary. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to orchestrate iteravely than to iterate efficiently. The technologies factor is proactive. Without preplanned interfaces, synergies are forced to become open-source. Do you have a plan to become value-added, strategic, efficient? What does the buzzword "experiences" really mean? Our front-end feature set is unmatched, but our ubiquitous markets and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our impactful mega-iteration but our capability to upgrade. Have you ever been pressured to strategize your granular, reconfigurable feature set? Right now? We think that most value-added web portals use far too much C++, and not enough XSLT. We will augment our power to mesh without devaluing our power to strategize. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be end-to-end? A company that can syndicate faithfully will (one day) be able to orchestrate elegantly. We will augment our ability to unleash without reducing our power to brand. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our enterprise compliance management and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We have proven we know that if you leverage transparently then you may also upgrade strategically. Imagine a combination of J++ and FOAF. At Karei, we have proven we know how to actualize virally. Without social networks, you will lack user-centric next-generation ultra-collaborative CAD. What does it really mean to deliver "interactively"? Do you have a plan to become cross-media? The plug-and-play implementation factor is synergistic. Think strategic. We will productize the jargon-based term "backward-compatible". What does it really mean to evolve "robustly"? Do you have a game plan to become best-of-breed? What does the buzzword "co-branded e-businesses" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation.