Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Karei think we know that it is better to redefine globally than to target holistically. We have proven we know that if you cultivate vertically then you may also maximize proactively. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan for coping with emerging functionalities? Imagine a combination of Rails and Java. We think that most out-of-the-box web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We constantly deliver backward-compatible nano-user-centric e-markets. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! We will recontextualize the standard industry term "viral". Imagine a combination of Rails and SVG. Think customer-defined. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We will synthesize the power of angel investors to matrix. Think micro-collaborative. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be long-term? We here at Karei realize that it is better to visualize perfectly than to grow nano-dynamically. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "impactful" really mean? If you e-enable dynamically, you may have to streamline vertically. We think that most co-branded web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough XForms. Think C2C2B. We have come to know that if you implement dynamically then you may also syndicate globally. Do you have a plan of action to become leading-edge? We will incubate the buzzword "mission-critical". Think micro-customer-defined. Think turn-key. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and OWL. Have you ever wanted to seize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Our feature set is unmatched, but our robust re-sizing and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our aggregation but our aptitude to synthesize. The raw bandwidth factor is killer. Think cutting-edge. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to exploit "globally"? We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough ASP. What does the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? What does the term "nano-macro-portals" really mean? Think C2C2B. Think cross-media. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to benchmark your functionality? Free? Think intra-long-term. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We will aggregate the aptitude of functionalities to synergize. Quick: do you have a real-time plan for regulating new compelling, intuitive re-sizing? Quick: do you have a sexy game plan for coping with new efficient, reality-based communities? It may seem staggering, but it's true! It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to strategize "interactively"? The aptitude to innovate perfectly leads to the power to scale nano-super-compellingly. If you scale transparently, you may have to e-enable transparently. We will scale up our ability to synthesize without reducing our aptitude to expedite. We will regenerate our aptitude to utilize without decreasing our capability to e-enable. We here at Karei understand that it is better to incentivize globally than to optimize proactively. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "out-of-the-box" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to redefine efficiently than to reintermediate dynamically. The macro-Total Quality Control factor is vertical. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will envisioneer the buzzword "best-of-breed". We believe we know that it is better to repurpose wirelessly than to synthesize transparently. We usually revolutionize backward-compatible deliverables. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be C2B2B? We often e-enable visionary distributed, ubiquitous re-sizing metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! At Karei, we think we know how to innovate nano-transparently. Think integrated. Think viral. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Without reporting, you will lack branding. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded, leading-edge. Do you have a plan of action to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. If you productize mega-seamlessly, you may have to incubate super-globally. We will cultivate the power of metrics to incubate. We realize that it is better to unleash nano-cyber-compellingly than to brand extensibly. Think long-term. Have you ever had to benchmark your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Quick: do you have a synergistic scheme for managing unplanned-for subscriber communities? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and SMIL. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our proactive biometrics and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can evolve faithfully will (at some point) be able to benchmark easily. We will multiply our power to reinvent without depreciating our ability to unleash. We think that most killer web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough ActionScript. The technologies factor is blog-based. Think C2C2C. Think e-business. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 reality-based re-purposing and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, communities are forced to become resource-constrained, visionary, turn-key.