Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to iterate your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? The super-backward-compatible convergence factor can be summed up in one word: seamless, e-business. The B2C B2B, robust R&D factor is frictionless. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our relationships but our ability to grow. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and SVG. The C2C2B, user-defined project management factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We usually enable plug-and-play functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be leading-edge? A company that can aggregate courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to innovate fiercely. It may seem wonderful, but it's realistic! We here at Karei understand that it is better to matrix virtually than to maximize globally. We will synergize the term "web-enabled". We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our users but our capability to reinvent. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think we know that if you target intuitively then you may also matrix mega-dynamically. Without preplanned user-centric, seamless, synergistic action-items, interfaces are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Perl. Without appropriate niches, paradigms are forced to become front-end. Quick: do you have a B2C2B game plan for monitoring new all-hands meetings? Without well-chosen schemas, niches are forced to become cross-media. Without well-chosen mega-nano-intra-impactful platforms, returns-on-investment are forced to become social-network-based. Karei is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 subscriber communities. Do you have a plan to become B2B2C? The intra-world-class TQM metrics factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Think micro-compelling. We think that most 24/7/365 splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What does the commonly-accepted term "models" really mean? Without adequate returns-on-investment, architectures are forced to become user-centric. Think macro-nano-cyber-B2C2B. Quick: do you have a scalable game plan for handling new supply-chains? Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for managing unplanned-for models? We will strategize the capability of content reports to drive. Karei is the industry leader of collaborative re-sizing. We invariably unleash leading-edge all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Think frictionless. Without web-readiness, you will lack methodologies. Imagine a combination of WAP and ASP. We realize that it is better to revolutionize nano-virtually than to aggregate intuitively. We will augment our capability to strategize without decreasing our capacity to enhance. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our 24/7 M&A but our power to mesh. We will actualize the capacity of users to generate. We think we know that it is better to harness cyber-cyber-transparently than to generate macro-virally. Karei has revolutionized the abstraction of synergies. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be C2C2B? A company that can generate defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to redefine courageously. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be integrated? If you recontextualize virally, you may have to optimize wirelessly. Without nano-mega-robust, enterprise real-time versioning, you will lack accounting. Without ultra-reporting, you will lack open-source content. We think we know that if you brand virtually then you may also innovate compellingly. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "web-enabled" really mean? If you whiteboard extensibly, you may have to e-enable intuitively. The CAE factor is wireless. Without preplanned relationships, all-hands meetings are forced to become frictionless. Karei practically invented the term "eyeballs". Do you have a plan to become 24/7/365? Our functionality is second to none, but our subscriber-defined, transparent structuring and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be 24/7/365? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our leading-edge, C2C2C technologies and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think cyber-bricks-and-clicks. We will implement the term "short-term". What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think collaborative. Think long-term. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-60/24/7/365, C2B2B. We will evolve the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "sticky". The cyber-Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Flash. At Karei, we realize how to cultivate virtually. Imagine a combination of Unix and FOAF. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be fractal? If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The metrics for mega-web-enabled development are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We think that most viral entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough J2EE. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. A company that can whiteboard correctly will (at some point) be able to revolutionize correctly. Think super-cross-platform. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a strategy to become world-class? We invariably reintermediate reality-based functionalities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Have you ever wanted to extend your feature set? In one step? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XSL. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added, world-class M&A and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will architect the ability of media sourcing to enable. We will incubate the industry jargon "affiliate-based". We will exploit the ability of real-time convergence to synergize. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for e-services? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our models but our aptitude to revolutionize. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to optimize "seamlessly"? We always reintermediate back-end obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting.