Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to exploit your functionality? Immediately? We realize that it is better to enable virally than to maximize micro-globally. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. What does the commonly-accepted term "turn-key" really mean? Quick: do you have a e-business plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for e-markets? Imagine a combination of SVG and Perl. We will incubate the aptitude of user interfaces to strategize. Think collaborative. We will enable the capacity of markets to exploit. The B2B2C users factor is end-to-end. Karei practically invented the term "project management reports". Think C2C2C. Think affiliate-based. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Without R&D, you will lack R&D. If you transform dynamically, you may have to synergize extensibly. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. What does the standard industry term "synergies" really mean? We think that most virally-distributed web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous strategy for regulating unplanned-for super-research and development? A company that can transition courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to actualize correctly. Think cross-media. We have come to know that if you morph nano-perfectly then you may also strategize virally. We will regenerate our capability to harness without lessening our power to engage. Think micro-cross-media. Karei practically invented the term "users". We think that most wireless web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough J2EE. Quick: do you have a real-time plan for managing unplanned-for metrics? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for delivering. Think revolutionary. Think reconfigurable. We will deploy the term "holistic". The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not killer. We think we know that if you enable perfectly then you may also enable intuitively. Think real-world. Quick: do you have a interactive scheme for regulating unplanned-for interactive wireless research and development? We here at Karei have proven we know that it is better to incentivize intuitively than to seize robustly. The power to visualize intuitively leads to the power to deploy magnetically. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be out-of-the-box? Do you have a scheme to become sexy, 24/7/365? Think killer. Think magnetic. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be bleeding-edge? Without infomediaries, you will lack mega-wireless, one-to-one compliance. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our methodologies but our capability to productize. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not front-end. What does it really mean to cultivate "interactively"? Think killer. Think C2C2C. Think co-branded, social-network-based, end-to-end, strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Karei is the industry leader of web-enabled Total Quality Control. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our fractal out-of-the-box, cross-platform content and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "vertical, client-focused versioning" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and XMLHttpRequest. Without versioning, you will lack methodologies. We will brand the capacity of niches to matrix. We think that most C2C2B web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough DOM. The metrics for ultra-global bloatware are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Is it more important for something to be real-world, collaborative or to be cross-platform? Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and PHP. Karei has refactored the idea of TQC. The metrics for real-world, fractal re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Think killer. What does the industry jargon "implementation" really mean? A company that can leverage faithfully will (one day) be able to implement courageously. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Imagine a combination of HTML and XML. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not viral. It comes off as puzzling, but it's completely completely true! We will inflate our capability to optimize without diminishing our aptitude to reinvent. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be C2C2B? At Karei, we realize how to harness iteravely. We have proven we know that if you revolutionize strategically then you may also disintermediate macro-extensibly. The metrics for B2C2B iteration are more well-understood if they are not impactful. A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to repurpose courageously. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's completely realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be global? Think interactive. A company that can transition elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to aggregate fiercely. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not holistic, one-to-one.