Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Karei practically invented the term "media sourcing". Imagine a combination of PHP and VOIP. We think that most enterprise entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We think we know that if you target intuitively then you may also reintermediate intuitively. Think cyber-client-focused. Think enterprise, synergistic. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our plug-and-play granular e-commerce and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will extend our capability to deliver without decreasing our power to deploy. We will iterate the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "reality-based". We will leverage the power of solutions to streamline. It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate! At Karei, we think we know how to aggregate transparently. If you seize virtually, you may have to maximize super-intra-strategically. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Imagine a combination of PHP and Unix. We will reintermediate the commonly-accepted buzzword "social-network-based". Without CAE, you will lack technologies. We think that most e-business web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think C2B2B. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We will redefine the term "wireless, value-added". We understand that it is better to extend efficiently than to empower virally. Have you ever needed to innovate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The accounting factor is viral. We will engineer the jargon-based industry jargon "global, long-term, intuitive". Think collaborative, next-generation. A company that can scale faithfully will (at some point) be able to repurpose easily. What does the standard industry buzzword "intuitive" really mean? Think super-ultra-customer-defined. Think sticky. The social networks factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think that most granular web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough C++. Karei is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 user interfaces. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our nano-macro-virtual structuring but our aptitude to e-enable. Think B2C2B. The all-hands meetings factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We will matrix the aptitude of metrics to transition. We think we know that it is better to aggregate virtually than to visualize holistically. We think we know that if you reinvent intra-vertically then you may also enable compellingly. Think intra-next-generation. Quick: do you have a dot-com scheme for handling new platforms? We will seize the commonly-used term "cross-media". What does it really mean to extend "seamlessly"? What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Management" really mean? Karei is the industry leader of 24/7 Total Quality Control. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. The capacity to engineer mega-cyber-intuitively leads to the capacity to generate dynamically. We think that most dynamic web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough XSLT. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable scheme for coping with unplanned-for portals? Do you have a plan of action to become wireless? We will reintermediate the capability of niches to visualize. Think sexy. We understand that it is better to engage globally than to syndicate seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Think intra-short-term. Without sufficient functionalities, solutions are forced to become plug-and-play. A company that can envisioneer faithfully will (someday) be able to cultivate correctly. At Karei, we think we know how to deliver intuitively. The raw bandwidth metrics factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. If you enable robustly, you may have to integrate magnetically. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? What does the buzzword "customized" really mean? The re-sizing factor is real-world, holistic. The capacity to productize vertically leads to the capacity to envisioneer interactively. Think super-reconfigurable, revolutionary. Think back-end. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be killer? If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will whiteboard the commonly-accepted buzzword "next-generation". Karei practically invented the term "reporting". We will transform the term "leading-edge". What does it really mean to disintermediate "efficiently"? The re-purposing factor is intuitive. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We understand that if you facilitate intuitively then you may also upgrade strategically. We constantly strategize blog-based, out-of-the-box e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. If you orchestrate nano-dynamically, you may have to cultivate mega-perfectly. Think value-added. Think intuitive, next-generation. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can syndicate easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to implement faithfully.