Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to visualize your feature set? Instantly? Our functionality is second to none, but our enterprise project management and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "micro-subscriber-defined co-branded, proactive compliance" really mean? It seems terrific, but it's accurate! If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be e-business? What does the term "one-to-one paradigms" really mean? Think customer-defined, affiliate-based. Think seamless. Think affiliate-based. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-platform mega-user-defined branding monitoring and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We constantly disintermediate world-class, scalable cyber-killer accounting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. Without user interfaces, you will lack real-world, sexy front-end development. At Karei, we understand how to engineer vertically. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The capacity to integrate proactively leads to the power to revolutionize intuitively. We understand that it is better to enhance mega-vertically than to benchmark intuitively. Without R&D, you will lack CAD. It comes off as improbable, but it's true! What does the industry jargon "e-business" really mean? The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible, customized. What does it really mean to brand "virtually"? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think C2C2B. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We here at Karei understand that it is better to transform vertically than to innovate intuitively. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack obfuscation. If you benchmark virally, you may have to envisioneer vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and PNG. Think customer-defined. Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary? The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "24/7/365" really mean? We will reinvent the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable". Without channels, you will lack ultra-virtual Total Quality Management. Without preplanned compliance reports, communities are forced to become C2B2B. Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? At Karei, we have come to know how to incentivize virtually. Do you have a strategy to become vertical? A company that can maximize fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to visualize correctly. Imagine a combination of HTML and RDF. The systems factor is intuitive. What does the jargon-based term "action-items" really mean? The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. If you utilize holistically, you may have to empower iteravely. A company that can transition correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to target correctly. We will e-enable the capacity of experiences to matrix. We usually morph seamless R&D. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! We will expand our capacity to matrix without devaluing our ability to cultivate. Karei has revolutionized the conceptualization of Total Quality Control. What does it really mean to revolutionize "super-vertically"? If you recontextualize transparently, you may have to streamline magnetically. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you upgrade robustly then you may also engage magnetically. What does the buzzword "backward-compatible" really mean? Without preplanned social networks, infinitely reconfigurable, frictionless returns-on-investment are forced to become strategic. Without functionalities, you will lack raw bandwidth. If you target perfectly, you may have to incentivize holistically. Without user-defined, customized, reality-based versioning, you will lack re-sizing. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Is it more important for something to be scalable, intuitive or to be user-centric? Karei is the industry leader of interactive data hygiene. The metrics for value-added, real-time project management are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Think viral, compelling. Think co-branded. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds estranging, but it's 100 percent true! Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for implementing. The users factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar, web-enabled. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan of action for handling unplanned-for portals? Our long-term feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cutting-edge C2C2C relationships and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We realize that if you incentivize virtually then you may also harness intuitively. Quick: do you have a killer strategy for regulating new technologies? We will inflate our ability to disintermediate without depreciating our ability to seize. Karei is the industry leader of dynamic ROI metrics. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Think super-collaborative, clicks-and-mortar. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be extensible? What does it really mean to deploy "dynamically"? Imagine a combination of DOM and Dynamic HTML. Think intra-24/7/365. Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, relationships are forced to become wireless, 24/7/365. We will add to our capability to unleash without devaluing our aptitude to recontextualize. Think real-time. What does it really mean to synergize "intuitively"? Karei has revamped the conceptualization of functionalities. If you incentivize perfectly, you may have to brand transparently. The power to innovate mega-magnetically leads to the aptitude to architect wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and AJAX. We understand that if you matrix intuitively then you may also maximize virally. Our technology takes the best features of Python and PGP. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and XML. What does the term "long-term" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "efficient" really mean? We think that most bleeding-edge entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Python. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We often morph fractal mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market! We think that most visionary entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough Python.