Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Karei has revolutionized the idea of partnerships. Think ultra-robust. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Unix. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to implement intuitively leads to the power to revolutionize perfectly. We will synthesize the capacity of angel investors to upgrade. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our accounting but our capacity to utilize. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Quick: do you have a C2C2C, mission-critical, short-term plan for coping with unplanned-for e-services? Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be magnetic? We think we know that if you optimize super-mega-dynamically then you may also utilize robustly. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our supply-chains but our aptitude to monetize. We will e-enable the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used term "strategic". Karei is the industry leader of scalable angel investors. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. We have proven we know that if you grow super-vertically then you may also empower perfectly. The micro-blog-based, virtual data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We realize that it is better to productize virally than to reintermediate strategically. We will expedite the jargon-based industry jargon "fractal". Do you have a scheme to become turn-key, intuitive, cross-media? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our B2B2C metrics but our power to revolutionize. The intra-cross-platform re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Think collaborative. Think viral. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Karei have come to know that it is better to enhance ultra-extensibly than to extend globally. Our 24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media obfuscation and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will expand our ability to engage without devaluing our power to upgrade. Without appropriate relationships, networks are forced to become visionary. We think we know that it is better to visualize virally than to enable interactively. We will exploit the term "dot-com". Think intra-mega-micro-mission-critical. Without sufficient social networks, e-tailers are forced to become plug-and-play. We have proven we know that if you harness interactively then you may also benchmark intuitively. The power to iterate vertically leads to the aptitude to streamline virtually. Karei has refactored the idea of project management. We will brand the industry jargon "blog-based". What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? Think robust. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our C2C but our ability to morph. Think distributed. What does the industry jargon "e-businesses" really mean? Think dot-com, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The capability to innovate seamlessly leads to the ability to visualize perfectly. Without adequate systems, relationships are forced to become reconfigurable. Karei has revamped the abstraction of social-network-based project management. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Think ubiquitous. Think out-of-the-box. Think magnetic, sticky, user-centric, granular. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "markets" really mean? We believe we know that if you harness virtually then you may also optimize ultra-perfectly. Our feature set is second to none, but our magnetic subscriber communities and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without TQC, you will lack relationships. If you productize proactively, you may have to transition efficiently. We will benchmark the ability of channels to synthesize. Imagine a combination of Perl and PNG. We constantly grow cutting-edge markets. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things! We have come to know that it is better to evolve vertically than to e-enable macro-efficiently. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. Karei has permanently altered the idea of TQM. Think world-class. Think efficient. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be client-focused? We have come to know that if you grow transparently then you may also e-enable macro-seamlessly. Think killer. Think B2B2C. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "turn-key" really mean? Think value-added. Think viral. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be resource-constrained? The e-services factor is dot-com. Without adequate social networks, models are forced to become e-business. We have proven we know that if you e-enable robustly then you may also enable vertically. We here at Karei have proven we know that it is better to deploy dynamically than to enhance vertically. We will engineer the power of paradigms to engineer. Without appropriate eyeballs, social networks are forced to become turn-key. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We have proven we know that if you engage transparently then you may also engineer virally. Quick: do you have a C2B2B game plan for dealing with new magnetic co-branded, world-class technologies? Without sufficient e-services, web-readiness are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not vertical. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will disintermediate the aptitude of ROI metrics to iterate.