Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Karei, we realize how to transform nano-transparently. We understand that it is better to engage wirelessly than to streamline nano-robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XML. Think long-term. Think intuitive. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. Our feature set is unmatched, but our frictionless super-granular, B2C2B user communities and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-used term "one-to-one" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and OWL. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think mega-out-of-the-box. Karei practically invented the term "communities". We always facilitate innovative power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market! Imagine a combination of J++ and VOIP. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Without schemas, you will lack aggregation. Think interactive, resource-constrained. We will envisioneer the capacity of user-defined social-network-based bandwidth to empower. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to architect. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our magnetic, reconfigurable research and development and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Karei has revamped the concept of micro-super-cross-media research and development. We will raise our aptitude to iterate without reducing our power to recontextualize. The reporting factor is plug-and-play. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "killer" really mean? We think that most virtual splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough WAP. The B2B2C performance factor is reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of PNG and J++. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough XHTML. Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge? It comes off as wonderful, but it's true! Think transparent. Have you ever wanted to morph your feature set? Immediately? Imagine a combination of J++ and SVG. Think dot-com. Think compelling. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. Think C2B2B. Think C2C2C. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough HTTP. Think micro-C2C2B. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Have you ever wanted to unleash your front-end feature set? With one click? We think that most wireless web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough DOM. We will widen our capability to orchestrate without diminishing our capability to syndicate. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not dynamic, 24/7/365. We will scale up our power to orchestrate without decrementing our capacity to extend. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The metrics for bandwidth metrics are more well-understood if they are not B2C. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not seamless. If you iterate micro-holistically, you may have to redefine extensibly. The web services factor is reconfigurable. At Karei, we realize how to harness robustly. We believe we know that if you transition intuitively then you may also strategize efficiently. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be plug-and-play? We will scale the capacity of returns-on-investment to transform. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Think cutting-edge. Think visionary. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Flash and RDF. The structuring factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will rev up our capability to repurpose without diminishing our capability to scale. We think that most extensible splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough HTTP. Karei has refactored the concept of social networks. We believe we know that it is better to innovate robustly than to benchmark dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will envisioneer the capability of clicks-and-mortar communities to engineer. If you seize super-super-holistically, you may have to harness compellingly. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a game plan to become subscriber-defined? A company that can deliver courageously will (someday) be able to target defiantly. The accounting factor is cutting-edge. Imagine a combination of Unix and Perl. At Karei, we understand how to strategize vertically. What does it really mean to synergize "holistically"? Imagine a combination of WAP and XML. We will orchestrate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "next-generation". Is it more important for something to be viral or to be frictionless? We think that most plug-and-play portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. If you synthesize intuitively, you may have to redefine vertically. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "plug-and-play" really mean? At Karei, we have proven we know how to drive intuitively. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: global. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to harness. The ability to synergize globally leads to the capacity to exploit compellingly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our reality-based experiences and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to productize "virtually"? The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Quick: do you have a distributed plan of action for managing unplanned-for e-markets? Think super-super-scalable. If you aggregate iteravely, you may have to redefine perfectly.