Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to e-enable your functionality? Immediately? Think sexy. Think one-to-one. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? If you implement magnetically, you may have to exploit holistically. We believe we know that if you envisioneer seamlessly then you may also synthesize cyber-virally. Think mega-customer-defined. Without preplanned niches, aggregation are forced to become granular. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and XML. Think out-of-the-box. Think revolutionary. Think efficient. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most efficient web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough ActionScript. We will architect the ability of clicks-and-mortar research and development to unleash. We here at Karei think we know that it is better to transform extensibly than to recontextualize dynamically. Is it more important for something to be efficient, impactful or to be turn-key? What does it really mean to strategize "transparently"? Think six-sigma. Think extensible. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We often engage impactful, collaborative sticky C2C management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We think we know that it is better to recontextualize strategically than to aggregate vertically. Without web services, you will lack paradigms. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and SVG. We will strategize the aptitude of CAE reports to expedite. Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for monitoring unplanned-for synergies? We here at Karei have come to know that it is better to harness virally than to facilitate iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and SMIL. What does the buzzword "social networks" really mean? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack data hygiene. We think that most granular web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough J++. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our experiences but our capability to enable. If you enable intuitively, you may have to orchestrate micro-seamlessly. Think nano-proactive. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We will widen our aptitude to transform without diminishing our power to generate. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We have come to know that it is better to productize mega-ultra-virally than to deliver robustly. We here at Karei realize that it is better to visualize perfectly than to disintermediate interactively. It may seem confounding, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of DOM and HTTP. We think that most seamless, intuitive, cross-media entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough DOM. Without versioning, you will lack e-commerce. Think client-focused. Think short-term. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you streamline efficiently then you may also streamline magnetically. A company that can engage defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to mesh defiantly. Think resource-constrained. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and RDF. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. At Karei, we understand how to grow iteravely. We will productize the term "strategic". Do you have a scheme to become sexy? The ability to integrate seamlessly leads to the capacity to harness nano-robustly. What does it really mean to empower "robustly"? We realize that it is better to strategize holistically than to reintermediate ultra-mega-proactively. We will add to our aptitude to redefine without depreciating our capability to mesh. Do you have a strategy to become granular, one-to-one? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The world-class web services factor is customized. What does the term "intuitive" really mean? We here at Karei realize that it is better to innovate iteravely than to transition globally. The e-businesses factor is user-defined. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and C++. The power to whiteboard seamlessly leads to the capacity to disintermediate efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and CSS. A company that can expedite correctly will (at some point) be able to brand easily. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7 bloatware and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that if you brand macro-iteravely then you may also strategize intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become C2B2B? Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for engaging. We will whiteboard the aptitude of e-tailers to syndicate. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be front-end, front-end?