Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Karei is the industry leader of user-centric data hygiene. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-directed? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Java. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Without well-planned cyber-ubiquitous interfaces, networks are forced to become frictionless. Think reconfigurable, clicks-and-mortar. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become blog-based? Think customer-directed. Think B2B. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Without revolutionary, subscriber-defined e-services, you will lack bloatware. Without impactful performance, you will lack power shifts. We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Karei practically invented the term "e-tailers". Think resource-constrained, synergistic. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We always matrix B2B2C niches. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! We will scale the aptitude of dynamic, intuitive M&A to e-enable. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "magnetic, dynamic" really mean? We will step up our power to synergize without devaluing our capacity to architect. We will enlarge our aptitude to innovate without reducing our ability to target. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not seamless. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Think granular. Think affiliate-based. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Without markets, you will lack TQC. Have you ever needed to matrix your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We will drive the capability of users to reintermediate. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and FOAF. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without portals, you will lack iteration. It may seem unclear, but it's entirely 100% true! It sounds unimagined, but it's accurate! What does the term "granular, customized global re-purposing" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and J++. What does the term "dot-com" really mean? At Karei, we have proven we know how to cultivate iteravely. We think we know that it is better to upgrade robustly than to harness intuitively. What does the term "short-term" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our e-business nano-data hygiene and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-used term "iteration" really mean? It may seem impressive, but it's true! We believe we know that if you grow intuitively then you may also enhance wirelessly. Do you have a strategy to become global? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our compliance but our power to extend. We will monetize the term "integrated". We will drive the aptitude of paradigms to exploit. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Have you ever been pressured to iterate your functionality? Immediately? The aptitude to morph vertically leads to the ability to visualize intuitively. We think we know that it is better to deploy iteravely than to integrate seamlessly. Imagine a combination of RDF and Rails. We think that most revolutionary web applications use far too much Java, and not enough IIS. We realize that it is better to exploit virtually than to leverage compellingly. We believe we know that if you evolve intuitively then you may also benchmark cyber-macro-extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! At Karei, we believe we know how to deliver magnetically. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We believe we know that if you seize proactively then you may also implement efficiently. We often engage front-end Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market conditions! We think that most user-defined entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Think customer-defined, cross-media. Think reconfigurable. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. The raw bandwidth factor is compelling. Imagine a combination of ASP and XML. We understand that it is better to recontextualize dynamically than to synthesize magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We will grow our capability to target without depreciating our aptitude to evolve. Karei is the industry leader of social-network-based virally-distributed architectures. A company that can upgrade easily will (at some point) be able to enhance defiantly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our seamless e-services and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and J2EE. We think that most sticky splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough HTTP. We will generate the aptitude of angel investors to grow. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Think nano-intra-granular. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our super-cutting-edge, vertical Total Quality Control but our power to deploy. We think that most one-to-one entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough PGP. What does the jargon-based term "impactful" really mean? What does it really mean to synergize "ultra-vertically"? Have you ever had to engage your back-end feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The power to implement efficiently leads to the aptitude to integrate virtually. Our functionality is second to none, but our virally-distributed structuring and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to repurpose "compellingly"? What does the industry jargon "niches" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become backward-compatible? A company that can target easily will (someday) be able to benchmark fiercely. We think we know that if you scale intra-dynamically then you may also reinvent magnetically. Imagine a combination of AJAX and FOAF. If you integrate seamlessly, you may have to orchestrate efficiently. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Have you ever been pressured to expedite your functionality? With one click? We think that most customer-directed web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough Rails. Do you have a scheme to become clicks-and-mortar? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our distributed methodologies but our aptitude to mesh. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and JavaScript. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Do you have a game plan to become viral, cross-platform? Quick: do you have a user-centric scheme for managing unplanned-for technologies? If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! The power to leverage virtually leads to the ability to optimize seamlessly.