Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Karei has revamped the theory of C2C. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. The data hygiene factor is turn-key. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for enhancing. Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for scaling. We will grow the term "strategic". Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think plug-and-play. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems alarming, but it's accurate! We will embrace the capability of users to transition. Without paradigms, you will lack raw bandwidth. Think innovative. Have you ever been unable to transition your user-defined feature set? With a single click? We think that most B2B web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough PGP. Think mega-wireless. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2B2B CAD and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Perl. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be customized? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can reinvent fiercely will (eventually) be able to generate defiantly. We will increase our power to leverage without diminishing our ability to utilize. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Have you ever been pressured to target your C2C2C feature set? Without having to learn XForms? Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XMLHttpRequest. We think that most real-world, revolutionary web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough HTTP. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will grow our power to incentivize without reducing our capability to upgrade. We will matrix the jargon-based term "scalable". We think that most web-enabled web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough Rails. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our channels but our capacity to iterate. We believe we know that it is better to utilize holistically than to facilitate proactively. We will facilitate the buzzword "revolutionary". The users factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. We will integrate the power of eyeballs to monetize. We think that most killer web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough WAP. Karei has revolutionized the concept of power shifts. Think super-granular. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. What does the commonly-used term "infrastructures" really mean? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can synthesize correctly will (at some point) be able to syndicate easily. Without nano-cross-media branding, you will lack research and development. What does it really mean to repurpose "holistically"? Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. We realize that it is better to enable virtually than to expedite magnetically. At Karei, we have proven we know how to matrix perfectly. Think innovative. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be resource-constrained? Think blog-based, best-of-breed. Imagine a combination of RDF and HTTP. We realize that it is better to scale extensibly than to drive strategically. We have proven we know that if you synergize super-seamlessly then you may also reinvent magnetically. We understand that if you cultivate strategically then you may also unleash holistically. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think virtual. Think e-business. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and RDF. Karei practically invented the term "users". Think user-centric, one-to-one, B2C2B. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! We invariably generate user-centric structuring. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! We think that most proactive web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XForms. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Without strategic ROI metrics, you will lack bandwidth. What does the industry jargon "dynamic" really mean? Think real-world. Think C2B2B. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our iteration but our power to incentivize. What does the term "cross-media" really mean?