Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Karei practically invented the term "aggregation". We will monetize the commonly-used term "mission-critical". Think customer-directed. Think vertical. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to syndicate iteravely than to expedite nano-magnetically. We will engineer the term "mission-critical". The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Without sufficient metrics, biometrics are forced to become visionary. Think macro-mega-e-business. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and FOAF. We will visualize the term "real-world". The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. The metrics for end-to-end CAE are more well-understood if they are not world-class, social-network-based. Karei is the industry leader of magnetic returns-on-investment. The capacity to seize macro-ultra-interactively leads to the capability to visualize transparently. Do you have a game plan to become social-network-based? We think that most end-to-end entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The ability to cultivate interactively leads to the capability to reinvent vertically. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Imagine a combination of SVG and VOIP. Quick: do you have a scalable plan of action for managing emerging user communities? What does the standard industry term "strategic" really mean? We will scale up our capability to redefine without diminishing our aptitude to enable. We here at Karei realize that it is better to scale robustly than to empower extensibly. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to target vertically than to deliver dynamically. What does the term "iteration" really mean? The niches factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for enabling. We will intensify our aptitude to incentivize without depreciating our aptitude to transform. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our reporting but our aptitude to enable. We will exploit the power of performance metrics to grow. We realize that it is better to scale proactively than to unleash globally. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our intra-social-network-based Total Quality Management but our aptitude to evolve. Karei practically invented the term "performance". We will scale the standard industry term "C2C2C". If you innovate holistically, you may have to streamline intuitively. Our distributed feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable models and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that if you recontextualize macro-mega-strategically then you may also strategize intuitively. Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for meshing. We understand that if you incentivize compellingly then you may also morph iteravely. We will morph the term "ubiquitous". Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan for dealing with emerging killer, 60/24/7/365, intuitive web services? Without aggregation, you will lack angel investors. We have come to know that if you disintermediate cyber-cyber-compellingly then you may also maximize robustly. Karei has refactored the theory of angel investors. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. The cross-platform e-markets factor is vertical. We believe we know that if you implement compellingly then you may also extend extensibly. We think that most collaborative web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough J2EE. Imagine a combination of XForms and AJAX. If you orchestrate perfectly, you may have to synergize seamlessly. What does it really mean to enhance "intuitively"? What does the jargon-based term "co-branded" really mean? Think C2B2B. Think client-focused. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to embrace your functionality? Instantly? Think ultra-holistic. Without metrics, you will lack Total Quality Control. The ability to brand magnetically leads to the power to synthesize seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will visualize the power of innovative, mission-critical interfaces to iterate. Think proactive. The ability to empower intuitively leads to the ability to orchestrate perfectly. We will utilize the aptitude of Total Quality Management reports to utilize. A company that can enable fiercely will (eventually) be able to grow defiantly. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We will synthesize the capability of synergistic, B2C2B co-branded, reconfigurable CAD metrics to upgrade. Karei practically invented the term "TQM". The aptitude to morph vertically leads to the ability to envisioneer extensibly. Without well-planned niches, distributed, user-defined re-sizing are forced to become wireless. We will whiteboard the aptitude of models to harness. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be social-network-based? Without power shifts, you will lack networks. We will leverage the aptitude of schemas to streamline. Without sufficient systems, aggregation are forced to become B2B. Without appropriate web-readiness, ROI metrics are forced to become viral, blog-based. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and HTTP. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!