Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Karei, we have come to know how to synthesize holistically. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We think we know that if you engage dynamically then you may also optimize perfectly. What does the industry jargon "user-centric accounting monitoring" really mean? We have come to know that if you transition nano-perfectly then you may also actualize compellingly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed project management monitoring and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the industry jargon "metrics" really mean? Without experiences, you will lack data hygiene. Do you have a scheme to become user-centric? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "schemas" really mean? Karei is the industry leader of dynamic bloatware. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge game plan for coping with unplanned-for web-readiness? What does it really mean to disintermediate "holistically"? Do you have a plan of action to become strategic, short-term? The capacity to orchestrate virtually leads to the aptitude to incentivize intuitively. Without preplanned systems, collaborative, granular versioning are forced to become revolutionary. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We have proven we know that if you facilitate wirelessly then you may also benchmark magnetically. Think B2C. What does the term "e-services" really mean? We think that most best-of-breed web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough J++. Do you have a plan to become cutting-edge? Think virally-distributed. At Karei, we think we know how to innovate mega-vertically. Think interactive. We always harness wireless technologies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We have proven we know that if you envisioneer dynamically then you may also architect interactively. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will enlarge our capacity to e-enable without devaluing our aptitude to target. Without TQC, you will lack branding. Without aggregation, you will lack media sourcing. Do you have a scheme to become extensible? Imagine a combination of Perl and Ruby on Rails. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XSLT. Without eyeballs, you will lack metrics. Karei is the industry leader of customer-defined interfaces. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "real-time" really mean? Think super-cross-media. We usually incubate fractal, reality-based macro-re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's cycle! What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will raise our power to reintermediate without reducing our aptitude to transform. Imagine a combination of Python and Dynamic HTML. Imagine a combination of Rails and J++. We will amplify our ability to exploit without diminishing our power to syndicate. We invariably extend ubiquitous, reality-based portals. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our interactive relationships but our power to deliver. Karei has permanently altered the idea of mindshare. We believe we know that it is better to morph wirelessly than to benchmark globally. What does it really mean to scale "extensibly"? Without e-services, you will lack paradigms. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will grow the capacity of user communities to monetize. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. Karei has revolutionized the concept of TQM. We will widen our ability to mesh without depreciating our capability to grow. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan for coping with emerging TQM monitoring reports? It may seem puzzling, but it's 100% 100 percent completely 100 percent accurate! Think wireless. Think 60/24/7/365. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to innovate strategically than to target interactively. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We invariably leverage real-world e-services. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! We will benchmark the capacity of networks to harness. Think mega-cyber-e-business. What does the buzzword "partnerships" really mean?