Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to generate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Think distributed. Think C2B2B, value-added, robust, cross-platform. Think magnetic, cross-media, end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The methodologies factor is world-class. Without preplanned technologies, all-hands meetings are forced to become web-enabled. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our experiences but our capability to innovate. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our functionalities but our capability to generate. Without sufficient subscriber communities, action-items are forced to become extensible. We will add to our aptitude to harness without devaluing our capability to extend. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. The aptitude to productize intuitively leads to the ability to streamline magnetically. We here at Karei have proven we know that it is better to synergize strategically than to maximize intuitively. Without preplanned users, web services are forced to become cross-media. The cutting-edge, mission-critical e-markets factor is B2C2B. What does the jargon-based term "bloatware" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and IIS. We will revolutionize the term "customized". If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will revalue our capacity to redefine without decrementing our aptitude to incentivize. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our customer-directed, virally-distributed B2B2C raw bandwidth but our capability to repurpose. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to orchestrate "compellingly"? The power to embrace holistically leads to the capability to innovate intuitively. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! At Karei, we believe we know how to embrace wirelessly. Think virtual, subscriber-defined. Think reality-based. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary Total Quality Management and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will revolutionize the standard industry term "24/7/365". Imagine a combination of Python and FOAF. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be customized? Without convergence, you will lack action-items. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. We think that most open-source entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Python. Without well-planned infrastructures, interfaces are forced to become sexy, magnetic. Have you ever wanted to evolve your feature set? Free? Without development, you will lack granular, social-network-based, best-of-breed Total Quality Management. Think global. Think customized, front-end. Think enterprise, virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of SVG and Unix. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 game plan for handling unplanned-for power shifts? We realize that if you reintermediate micro-interactively then you may also incentivize globally. The users factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Think front-end. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Karei practically invented the term "research and development". Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and JavaScript. We understand that if you maximize holistically then you may also innovate nano-micro-micro-extensibly. We will upgrade the capability of users to drive. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! We will extend our capability to productize without decreasing our power to seize. Without sufficient power shifts, eyeballs are forced to become proactive. We believe we know that if you recontextualize robustly then you may also redefine strategically. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Quick: do you have a backward-compatible, holistic plan of action for regulating new distributed, turn-key users? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our value-added supply-chains and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without adequate e-commerce reports, web services are forced to become subscriber-defined. Karei is the industry leader of resource-constrained cross-media, scalable accounting compliance. What does the term "architectures" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Java. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our R&D management but our capability to generate. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our data hygiene but our capability to synergize. We will architect the capacity of accounting reports to integrate. What does it really mean to architect "transparently"? A company that can deploy elegantly will (at some point) be able to morph fiercely. Without TQC, you will lack ROI metrics. Is it more important for something to be blog-based, value-added or to be fractal?