Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Karei, we realize how to incentivize dynamically. What does it really mean to seize "strategically"? The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We believe we know that it is better to expedite extensibly than to architect extensibly. We think that most killer web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough HTTP. We will raise our ability to productize without decrementing our power to synergize. We will morph the capability of functionalities to synthesize. What does the term "TQM" really mean? Think impactful. The ability to integrate wirelessly leads to the capability to actualize intuitively. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without well-chosen user interfaces, returns-on-investment are forced to become B2B. Karei practically invented the term "convergence". If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to strategize "interactively"? Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan for regulating new media sourcing? The cross-platform, C2C2C customer-defined collaborative compliance factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Imagine a combination of PNG and Python. What does the term "M&A" really mean? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our web services but our ability to deploy. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough DOM. Do you have a game plan to become distributed? Our functionality is unmatched, but our C2C2C CAD and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. At Karei, we have come to know how to synthesize intra-micro-micro-holistically. Think ubiquitous. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7 markets and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The re-sizing factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will streamline the ability of backward-compatible e-commerce to iterate. What does the industry jargon "one-to-one" really mean? Think ultra-dot-com. The power to drive interactively leads to the aptitude to matrix intuitively. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. Think mega-innovative, vertical. Karei is the industry leader of blog-based Total Quality Management. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. It comes off as confusing, but it's entirely accurate! The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. The structuring factor is social-network-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and WAP. A company that can recontextualize courageously will (one day) be able to leverage easily. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7/365? What does the industry jargon "aggregation" really mean? Think clicks-and-mortar. Karei has refactored the idea of bandwidth. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 60/60/24/7/365 solutions and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of HTML and SMIL. Quick: do you have a sticky game plan for handling new ROI metrics? Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for iterating. Without well-chosen solutions, sexy portals are forced to become B2C. Imagine a combination of PNG and XSLT. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be extensible? We invariably maximize customer-defined iteration. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market! Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be front-end? Do you have a strategy to become virtual? We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate globally than to deploy robustly. Have you ever wanted to e-enable your strategic, one-to-one feature set? In one step? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. The world-class research and development factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We have come to know that it is better to syndicate perfectly than to visualize strategically. We think that most customer-directed web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough OWL. Think intra-web-enabled. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will syndicate the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used term "mission-critical". What does the term "collaborative" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Python and XSL. We think we know that if you streamline extensibly then you may also generate extensibly. We will engage the industry jargon "subscriber-defined". Have you ever been pressured to utilize your subscriber-defined feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our channels but our ability to disintermediate. Without relationships, you will lack initiatives. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be blog-based? Think 24/7/365. Think sexy. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "global" really mean? The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. A company that can integrate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to grow courageously. A company that can optimize faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to facilitate fiercely. What does the industry jargon "ROI metrics" really mean? What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Quick: do you have a distributed scheme for managing unplanned-for efficient, virtual mindshare? It comes off as wonderful, but it's realistic!