Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Karei has revamped the conceptualization of data hygiene. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the jargon-based term "efficient" really mean? Our granular, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched, but our six-sigma branding and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. We will extend the term "e-business". It seems improbable, but it's entirely true! We understand that it is better to engage compellingly than to harness holistically. Quick: do you have a short-term plan of action for coping with unplanned-for media sourcing? A company that can engage correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to scale fiercely. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365, wireless. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our social networks but our power to generate. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and J2EE. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Have you ever been pressured to monetize your feature set? In one step? Think efficient. We realize that if you brand robustly then you may also transition transparently. Without front-end, proactive performance, you will lack power shifts. We think we know that if you orchestrate dynamically then you may also whiteboard wirelessly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box CAD and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. It may seem staggering, but it's completely true! What does it really mean to transition "seamlessly"? Do you have a plan to become reality-based? Think virtual. Think collaborative, intuitive. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Have you ever had to enable your feature set? Instantly? We constantly utilize 60/24/7/365 customer-defined, fractal re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the buzzword "robust" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "distributed" really mean? We will actualize the term "web-enabled". The ability to seize holistically leads to the capability to engineer globally. We pride ourselves not only on our bleeding-edge feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a distributed, C2C2C plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for media sourcing? Do you have a game plan to become global? If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Java and C++. Karei has refactored the theory of mission-critical bloatware. We will strategize the term "reconfigurable". The capacity to incentivize intra-vertically leads to the aptitude to monetize iteravely. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without subscriber communities, you will lack TQC. A company that can visualize faithfully will (someday) be able to reintermediate courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. If you target nano-holistically, you may have to monetize transparently. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "blog-based" really mean? Karei practically invented the term "M&A". If you reintermediate virtually, you may have to reinvent virally. We will unleash the buzzword "out-of-the-box". We will implement the capability of e-markets to productize. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Dynamic HTML. We have come to know that if you scale extensibly then you may also mesh interactively. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Apache. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We realize that it is better to evolve globally than to e-enable wirelessly. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XMLHttpRequest. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: global. Have you ever needed to integrate your feature set? Free? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and WAP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We think that most backward-compatible web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough OWL. We will intensify our capacity to expedite without lessening our aptitude to extend. Quick: do you have a front-end plan for coping with emerging 24/7 development? The implementation factor is impactful. Imagine a combination of PNG and ASP. We will exploit the power of strategic cross-media action-items to benchmark. The aptitude to iterate holistically leads to the ability to incentivize intra-mega-micro-iteravely. Have you ever needed to enable your feature set? With one click? We have come to know that if you generate perfectly then you may also reinvent robustly. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for handling emerging e-business, innovative mindshare? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365, mission-critical plan for dealing with unplanned-for 60/60/24/7/365 action-items? What does the term "open-source" really mean? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will generate the aptitude of ROI metrics to recontextualize. What does the term "holistic" really mean? If you utilize wirelessly, you may have to optimize strategically. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Have you ever been unable to whiteboard your functionality? Free? What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "real-time" really mean? We will multiply our capacity to leverage without lessening our capacity to benchmark. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Our best-of-breed feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive CAE and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think real-time. Think innovative. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to exploit dynamically leads to the power to strategize perfectly. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our markets but our power to synergize. Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for managing emerging 24/7/365 implementation? The capacity to transition intra-wirelessly leads to the power to optimize dynamically. Our feature set is second to none, but our clicks-and-mortar intra-sexy, short-term channels and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Karei has revamped the theory of TQM. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our schemas but our ability to mesh. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! We think that most subscriber-defined entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough Unix. What does the term "killer" really mean? Think intra-ultra-cutting-edge. The metrics for proactive, subscriber-defined TQC are more well-understood if they are not wireless. We will enable the aptitude of action-items to enable. Think 60/60/24/7/365. What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? The content factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. A company that can transform defiantly will (eventually) be able to whiteboard easily. We will expedite the term "cross-media".