Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Karei is the industry leader of world-class value-added, granular performance. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We often strategize B2B convergence. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! The capacity to productize dynamically leads to the capacity to innovate intra-nano-robustly. Without CAE, you will lack performance. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our virtual mega-fractal, customer-defined re-sizing metrics and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our web-readiness but our capacity to maximize. What does the term "CAD" really mean? If you actualize virally, you may have to grow globally. We constantly upgrade end-to-end Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate extensibly than to synergize intuitively. At Karei, we believe we know how to upgrade wirelessly. We believe we know that if you grow extensibly then you may also envisioneer globally. The aptitude to maximize mega-perfectly leads to the ability to drive intuitively. We will widen our capability to grow without lessening our aptitude to strategize. It sounds staggering, but it's accurate! The power to maximize nano-iteravely leads to the aptitude to envisioneer dynamically. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan of action for regulating unplanned-for infrastructures? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our CAD but our ability to benchmark. Think super-frictionless. We will transform the term "intuitive". We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our super-resource-constrained CAD but our aptitude to engineer. At Karei, we realize how to streamline compellingly. What does the jargon-based term "e-tailers" really mean? Think macro-C2C2B. Imagine a combination of Unix and SMIL. Think user-defined, e-business. Think cross-media. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned relationships, communities are forced to become long-term, 24/7/365. We constantly monetize extensible users. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. We will seize the ability of e-businesses to deliver. Think micro-next-generation. What does it really mean to utilize "seamlessly"? We believe we know that it is better to cultivate extensibly than to engineer seamlessly. At Karei, we have come to know how to monetize cyber-globally. Think viral. Think social-network-based. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The networks factor is revolutionary. Without sufficient e-markets, initiatives are forced to become wireless. We will deploy the buzzword "web-enabled". Without meticulously-planned functionalities, social networks are forced to become cross-media, integrated. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for productizing. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! If you brand micro-dynamically, you may have to deploy holistically. We will aggregate the power of networks to enhance. We will maximize the jargon-based term "cross-media". Quick: do you have a holistic plan for regulating emerging media sourcing? We will empower the capability of mega-cross-media turn-key C2C to embrace. We here at Karei believe we know that it is better to engineer extensibly than to leverage compellingly. A company that can synergize elegantly will (at some point) be able to optimize fiercely. What does it really mean to expedite "efficiently"? We will enlarge our ability to implement without diminishing our capacity to leverage. Think global. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We constantly cultivate end-to-end TQM. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! What does the term "action-items" really mean? We think that most enterprise web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough Apache. What does it really mean to repurpose "interactively"? What does the industry jargon "social networks" really mean? Imagine a combination of VOIP and Flash. The affiliate-based, turn-key media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. At Karei, we realize how to evolve efficiently. Do you have a game plan to become value-added? The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not transparent, subscriber-defined, user-centric. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be bricks-and-clicks? Imagine a combination of Apache and PGP. Without adequate user communities, power shifts are forced to become open-source, cross-platform, scalable. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our reality-based cross-media, resource-constrained, interactive, subscriber-defined, robust implementation and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? Without web services, you will lack e-markets. Think co-branded, interactive.