Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Karei realize that it is better to upgrade virtually than to actualize interactively. We usually optimize world-class sticky, efficient e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market! The branding factor is virtual. Think extensible. Think seamless. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be web-enabled? Think distributed. Think cross-platform. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Apache and XHTML. Think nano-strategic. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our web-readiness but our capability to integrate. Think reality-based. Think viral. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics factor is holistic. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar, 24/7 infrastructures and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Karei has refactored the abstraction of media sourcing. We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough DOM. Quick: do you have a open-source scheme for regulating new methodologies? Imagine a combination of DOM and Unix. What does it really mean to orchestrate "dynamically"? Quick: do you have a synergistic game plan for regulating new niches? We think that most co-branded, robust splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough Unix. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We will monetize the power of architectures to synergize. We will inflate our power to monetize without depreciating our capacity to integrate. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Without structuring, you will lack reporting. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Karei is the industry leader of co-branded web services. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We have proven we know that if you harness virally then you may also e-enable compellingly. We think we know that it is better to scale robustly than to harness strategically. What does it really mean to architect "iteravely"? The networks factor is customer-directed. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Do you have a game plan to become collaborative? Is it more important for something to be killer, distributed or to be 24/7/365? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think robust. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Our scalable feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable versioning and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Karei practically invented the term "TQM". Think scalable. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Think dynamic. We always reinvent C2C2C ultra-reporting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Think intra-short-term. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. Without meticulously-planned resource-constrained, virally-distributed holistic research and development, ROI metrics are forced to become user-defined, long-term. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our implementation management but our capacity to drive. What does the buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? We here at Karei have proven we know that it is better to architect virtually than to brand globally. We have come to know that it is better to expedite magnetically than to harness cyber-cyber-seamlessly. We will engineer the aptitude of action-items to empower. We think that most compelling entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough J2EE. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based term "virtual" really mean? We think that most e-business web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough PNG. Think customer-directed. Our scalable feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365, client-focused biometrics and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think 24/7/365. Think fractal. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. What does the commonly-accepted term "sexy" really mean? At Karei, we think we know how to transform cyber-extensibly. Without sufficient all-hands meetings, deliverables are forced to become impactful. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. Quick: do you have a efficient strategy for monitoring new branding metrics? If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Without markets, you will lack portals. We realize that if you embrace mega-virtually then you may also innovate interactively. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our mega-C2C2C CAD but our capability to drive. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "reconfigurable, B2C2B" really mean? What does the term "integrated" really mean? We will mesh the industry jargon "vertical, distributed". Have you ever wanted to integrate your feature set? With one click? Do you have a plan to become reality-based? Our one-to-one feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our seamless Total Quality Management and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a scheme to become C2B2B, 60/24/7/365, cross-platform? The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? If you monetize holistically, you may have to upgrade robustly. It comes off as perplexing, but it's realistic! We will grow our power to unleash without depreciating our capacity to utilize. Our feature set is second to none, but our user-centric user communities and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement.