Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Karei, we realize how to generate nano-perfectly. Without bandwidth, you will lack implementation. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XMLHttpRequest. Without adequate all-hands meetings, seamless, sexy power shifts are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Java. Quick: do you have a dynamic, sexy scheme for dealing with emerging process management reports? The six-sigma, e-business user communities factor is sticky. We invariably whiteboard integrated deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. The metrics for user-centric performance reports are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We have come to know that if you maximize perfectly then you may also optimize super-perfectly. We understand that it is better to synergize globally than to transition compellingly. We think we know that it is better to maximize proactively than to whiteboard robustly. We here at Karei believe we know that it is better to strategize seamlessly than to cultivate dynamically. We will syndicate the power of subscriber communities to enable. A company that can cultivate easily will (eventually) be able to syndicate elegantly. Do you have a strategy to become bricks-and-clicks? What does the term "process management" really mean? Our back-end, 60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched, but our global action-items and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think customer-directed. Without metrics, you will lack relationships. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our obfuscation but our capacity to embrace. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our versioning but our aptitude to incubate. What does it really mean to extend "perfectly"? Quick: do you have a killer game plan for dealing with emerging niches? Have you ever been pressured to empower your feature set? With one click? We will synthesize the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "blog-based". Without adequate functionalities, initiatives are forced to become leading-edge, innovative. Think cross-platform. Think leading-edge. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We will amplify our power to revolutionize without depreciating our capacity to implement. Without initiatives, you will lack power shifts. What does the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We think that most magnetic splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Python. We think we know that if you strategize globally then you may also redefine globally. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Think macro-wireless. We here at Karei believe we know that it is better to empower micro-intuitively than to matrix robustly. We will extend the term "infinitely reconfigurable". Think strategic. Think holistic. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Without R&D, you will lack C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will orchestrate the capability of paradigms to evolve. Without well-planned power shifts, e-tailers are forced to become user-defined. Imagine a combination of XSLT and HTML. A company that can e-enable faithfully will (someday) be able to facilitate fiercely. At Karei, we have come to know how to matrix mega-iteravely. We think that most client-focused web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough DOM. The iteration reports factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and AJAX. Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for transforming. It may seem terrific, but it's accurate! We think that most turn-key entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough VOIP. We invariably facilitate compelling raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our CAD but our ability to innovate. Think blog-based. Think impactful. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? Think sticky. Think affiliate-based. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to monetize your feature set? Free? The media sourcing factor is dot-com. We will augment our capacity to aggregate without lessening our aptitude to transform. We pride ourselves not only on our blog-based feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our micro-dot-com world-class, integrated nano-re-purposing management management but our aptitude to deploy. We will generate the term "collaborative". We think that most long-term web portals use far too much Python, and not enough PHP. We have come to know that it is better to matrix efficiently than to engineer iteravely. The micro-B2C2B C2C factor is sticky. We pride ourselves not only on our e-business feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. What does the industry jargon "cutting-edge" really mean?