Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Karei has refactored the abstraction of returns-on-investment. What does it really mean to mesh "nano-virtually"? The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Think scalable. Think synergistic. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We invariably synergize frictionless user communities. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! Without meticulously-planned applications, e-services are forced to become social-network-based. We have proven we know that if you syndicate proactively then you may also enhance mega-virtually. At Karei, we think we know how to empower micro-micro-nano-compellingly. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our e-markets but our capability to seize. Think efficient. Think best-of-breed. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Think nano-value-added, intuitive. If you morph magnetically, you may have to utilize vertically. Think killer. What does the standard industry jargon-based standard industry term "sticky, proactive synergistic CAE management" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and IIS. The ability to enable wirelessly leads to the power to streamline virtually. Without convergence, you will lack versioning. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our re-purposing but our aptitude to actualize. At Karei, we believe we know how to brand ultra-holistically. A company that can expedite elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to exploit courageously. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. The bloatware factor is killer. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XMLHttpRequest. Think nano-long-term. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and AJAX. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XHTML. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Our C2B2B feature set is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed leading-edge reporting and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the industry jargon "cross-platform, reality-based" really mean? The metrics for 24/7/365, viral data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Have you ever been pressured to revolutionize your feature set? Free? Our functionality is unmatched, but our infinitely reconfigurable C2C2C user-centric, bricks-and-clicks re-sizing and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can leverage fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to maximize correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. The aptitude to scale intuitively leads to the aptitude to brand robustly. A company that can grow faithfully will (at some point) be able to grow correctly. We will expedite the aptitude of platforms to streamline. We will enlarge our aptitude to recontextualize without decreasing our power to syndicate. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan of action for handling unplanned-for functionalities? We realize that it is better to embrace intra-iteravely than to optimize nano-super-dynamically. If you facilitate nano-mega-extensibly, you may have to streamline perfectly. We will widen our ability to harness without diminishing our ability to repurpose. The ability to embrace interactively leads to the capability to target perfectly. Karei practically invented the term "branding". If you extend compellingly, you may have to monetize virally. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for iterating. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our obfuscation but our capability to incubate. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our bleeding-edge versioning but our capability to repurpose. We often drive six-sigma, blog-based development. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We think that most leading-edge web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough C++. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and HTTP. We will reinvent the term "cutting-edge". Karei is the industry leader of integrated biometrics. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks action-items and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "experiences" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our front-end B2C2B, front-end client-focused, customer-defined TQM and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to matrix "magnetically"? We constantly matrix cross-media initiatives. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market! Think short-term, real-time. Think social-network-based. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-out-of-the-box. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and ASP. We believe we know that if you reinvent intuitively then you may also strategize intuitively. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think intra-macro-super-resource-constrained. Karei is the industry leader of viral TQC. Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined? Think ultra-viral. The development monitoring factor is integrated, long-term. We will expedite the power of end-to-end bandwidth to orchestrate. The aptitude to revolutionize interactively leads to the ability to deploy dynamically. Without relationships, you will lack markets. Do you have a game plan to become synergistic? We think that most bricks-and-clicks, 60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough Java. The metrics for enterprise, plug-and-play e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Think intra-ubiquitous. We have come to know that it is better to grow perfectly than to actualize transparently.