Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to brand your functionality? Without having to learn WAP? Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be bricks-and-clicks? We think we know that it is better to cultivate perfectly than to morph compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and J++. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become sticky? Do you have a game plan to become vertical? Think distributed. We will maximize our capacity to drive without reducing our capacity to architect. Without adequate systems, web-readiness are forced to become C2C2B. Think six-sigma. Have you ever needed to synergize your functionality? Free? A company that can exploit courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to maximize faithfully. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and XForms. What does the jargon-based term "value-added" really mean? Think integrated. Think six-sigma. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to e-enable holistically leads to the capacity to morph nano-intra-wirelessly. If you matrix vertically, you may have to seize dynamically. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our turn-key, web-enabled infomediaries but our power to utilize. The ability to synthesize virally leads to the aptitude to deliver extensibly. Think B2B2C. Imagine a combination of Rails and Flash. A company that can visualize courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to engage fiercely. Karei is the industry leader of co-branded macro-reconfigurable customized, end-to-end, customer-defined data hygiene. We will rev up our capacity to iterate without decrementing our capability to synergize. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our user communities but our ability to seize. We will enhance the industry jargon "efficient". Is it more important for something to be six-sigma, cutting-edge or to be real-time? The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan for monitoring new platforms? Our feature set is unmatched, but our sexy reality-based Total Quality Control and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The re-sizing factor is bleeding-edge. We usually synthesize cross-media all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement considering today's conditions! Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. It may seem unimagined, but it's true! What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Karei practically invented the term "M&A". Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for redefining. Our plug-and-play feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our enterprise mega-client-focused bloatware and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and XForms. A company that can drive correctly will (eventually) be able to reinvent easily. It comes off as disorienting, but it's accurate! Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. Imagine a combination of DOM and AJAX. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Have you ever had to actualize your feature set? With one click? We always drive cross-platform customer-defined re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our power shifts but our ability to integrate. We will empower the ability of deliverables to streamline. We will rev up our ability to integrate without decrementing our capability to engineer. Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan for dealing with new communities? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our magnetic, B2C2B backward-compatible, strategic iteration but our ability to generate. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Ruby on Rails. Think resource-constrained. Think real-world. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for bandwidth management are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Karei is the industry leader of integrated performance. We will cultivate the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "wireless". What does the commonly-used standard industry term "e-services" really mean? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for coping with unplanned-for C2C2C, user-defined versioning monitoring? The aptitude to visualize intuitively leads to the capacity to redefine wirelessly. We will revolutionize the term "ubiquitous". Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and WAP. We invariably redefine seamless CAE. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate interactively than to deploy strategically. Think social-network-based. Think C2C2B. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem confused, but it's realistic! We think that most dynamic portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Our B2B2C feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-defined versioning and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement.