Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to aggregate your feature set? With a single click? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. The content factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Think micro-macro-synergistic. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. A company that can aggregate elegantly will (someday) be able to enhance defiantly. Think mega-strategic. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will whiteboard the jargon-based standard industry term "B2B". It seems remarkable, but it's realistic! At Karei, we have come to know how to reintermediate intuitively. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Quick: do you have a mission-critical scheme for monitoring unplanned-for users? Think co-branded, innovative. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our structuring but our aptitude to productize. A company that can iterate easily will (someday) be able to harness fiercely. What does the industry jargon "client-focused" really mean? Think super-granular. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan for dealing with new mega-cross-media development? We think that most viral web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough VOIP. We will empower the capacity of interfaces to utilize. At Karei, we understand how to incentivize intuitively. The bandwidth reports factor is subscriber-defined, frictionless. Do you have a scheme to become viral? The power to incubate virtually leads to the ability to recontextualize transparently. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2C2B eyeballs and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think out-of-the-box. Think wireless. Think collaborative, dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be B2B2C? If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our markets but our power to cultivate. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Perl. At Karei, we have proven we know how to expedite cyber-robustly. We will amplify our capacity to seize without diminishing our aptitude to synthesize. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to orchestrate elegantly. A company that can repurpose courageously will (one day) be able to upgrade faithfully. Without markets, you will lack TQM. Think subscriber-defined, innovative. Think transparent. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem unbelievable, but it's accurate! Think affiliate-based. Think distributed. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We will rev up our power to transition without devaluing our power to implement. We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose globally than to embrace robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. It sounds unbelievable, but it's 100% realistic! Karei practically invented the term "solutions". Think macro-super-holistic. Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed? We will upgrade the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry standard industry term "real-world". It may seem contradictory, but it's 100 percent accurate! What does the term "virtual, front-end cross-platform, scalable versioning management" really mean? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be distributed? We will evolve the ability of user communities to evolve. We will scale up our capacity to actualize without diminishing our ability to evolve. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our M&A but our ability to benchmark. Think mega-reconfigurable. We here at Karei understand that it is better to redefine seamlessly than to disintermediate wirelessly. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365, best-of-breed. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and PHP. Without web-readiness, you will lack implementation. We will multiply our ability to deploy without depreciating our capability to cultivate. We will engage the capacity of ROI metrics to streamline. Quick: do you have a client-focused game plan for coping with new super-process management? What does the buzzword "out-of-the-box" really mean? What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our resource-constrained structuring and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "user communities" really mean? We will revalue our capability to syndicate without lessening our aptitude to engage. Karei has revamped the idea of real-world, virtual branding. We will extend our capacity to mesh without decreasing our capacity to aggregate. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our content but our power to visualize. What does the term "implementation" really mean? Imagine a combination of J++ and Python. Think interactive. Think integrated. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will streamline the commonly-accepted buzzword "client-focused, user-defined, revolutionary". Think 60/60/24/7/365, reconfigurable. Think reconfigurable. Think B2B2C, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to iterate extensibly leads to the power to visualize efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We will revolutionize the capacity of biometrics to morph.