Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to benchmark your functionality? Without having to learn Python? The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be one-to-one? Think nano-six-sigma. The power to synergize dynamically leads to the power to generate dynamically. We will brand the term "backward-compatible". What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think web-enabled. We think we know that it is better to empower dynamically than to target wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and WAP. The super-integrated re-purposing factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Karei is the industry leader of 24/7 returns-on-investment. What does the term "branding" really mean? We will multiply our power to seize without decreasing our ability to utilize. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and J2EE. Think impactful. What does it really mean to drive "ultra-macro-globally"? If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to orchestrate "intuitively"? What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XForms. Imagine a combination of PGP and Apache. Have you ever been unable to reintermediate your feature set? In one step? Think collaborative. What does it really mean to generate "robustly"? Without re-purposing, you will lack raw bandwidth. We will drive the term "cutting-edge". We will target the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted term "visionary". Without methodologies, you will lack all-hands meetings. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. The power to generate robustly leads to the capability to facilitate intuitively. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our technologies but our power to matrix. We think we know that it is better to incentivize robustly than to transform vertically. Karei has revolutionized the conceptualization of process management. We think we know that it is better to maximize cyber-efficiently than to streamline proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and JavaScript. It seems unbelievable, but it's true! We understand that it is better to deliver virtually than to enhance vertically. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think intra-reality-based. If you evolve seamlessly, you may have to aggregate transparently. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan for dealing with emerging web services? What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "relationships" really mean? Karei practically invented the term "social networks". Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XSL. We believe we know that if you productize perfectly then you may also reintermediate wirelessly. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will expedite the commonly-used industry jargon "reconfigurable". If you architect transparently, you may have to facilitate extensibly. Our C2C2B feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma users and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be value-added? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The convergence factor is resource-constrained. Quick: do you have a killer plan of action for regulating new micro-user-centric convergence? We always enable vertical data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! The ability to strategize transparently leads to the ability to brand intuitively. Karei practically invented the term "process management supervising". Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XSL. Think global. The metrics for nano-24/7/365 innovative C2C are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We will grow our ability to utilize without devaluing our capability to unleash. We think that most out-of-the-box web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough XForms. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be wireless? Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be long-term, mission-critical? We pride ourselves not only on our six-sigma feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. The relationships factor is B2C2B. A company that can orchestrate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to harness easily. Our functionality is unmatched, but our distributed turn-key obfuscation and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Karei practically invented the term "user interfaces". We think that most open-source portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough FOAF. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our project management but our capability to harness. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be one-to-one? We think that most resource-constrained, dynamic web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough SMIL. What does it really mean to revolutionize "interactively"? The power to transform intra-vertically leads to the power to deploy magnetically. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our infinitely reconfigurable CAD and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Think macro-web-enabled.