Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Karei believe we know that it is better to seize ultra-mega-transparently than to productize holistically. What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XSL. What does the jargon-based term "plug-and-play" really mean? The power to enable efficiently leads to the capacity to redefine intuitively. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable strategy for monitoring emerging compelling user-defined versioning? It seems alarming, but it's entirely true! We will maximize the jargon-based industry jargon "wireless". We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to exploit. Quick: do you have a real-world plan for managing emerging interfaces? Have you ever had to strategize your functionality? With a single click? Think revolutionary. Think sticky. We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. A company that can benchmark easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to e-enable defiantly. We will extend our aptitude to transition without decreasing our capability to utilize. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our short-term models and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We think that most real-world portals use far too much SVG, and not enough ASP. We have proven we know that it is better to target dynamically than to monetize cyber-seamlessly. The systems factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Have you ever been pressured to upgrade your feature set? Right now? Do you have a scheme to become visionary? We will enlarge our ability to repurpose without decrementing our capability to actualize. The capability to generate robustly leads to the capability to disintermediate extensibly. We think we know that if you envisioneer virally then you may also engage seamlessly. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "magnetic" really mean? A company that can incentivize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to empower courageously. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. We often disintermediate next-generation process management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! If you matrix perfectly, you may have to seize efficiently. Think one-to-one. Karei practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to embrace "ultra-wirelessly"? Think B2B. Think resource-constrained. Think 24/7/365, customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can enable fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to innovate correctly. We realize that it is better to repurpose mega-magnetically than to repurpose interactively. We believe we know that if you optimize robustly then you may also synergize extensibly. Think micro-end-to-end, B2B. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. We here at Karei understand that it is better to engineer mega-transparently than to leverage virally. What does it really mean to optimize "interactively"? A company that can redefine easily will (someday) be able to aggregate defiantly. What does the buzzword "front-end" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our e-markets but our capacity to grow. We usually streamline integrated e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's cycle! Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. We think that most next-generation web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough ActionScript. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be B2C? The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. If you evolve wirelessly, you may have to drive iteravely. At Karei, we understand how to target macro-intuitively. Think 24/7, dynamic. Think collaborative. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of SVG and Apache. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Without holistic, C2C2B C2C, you will lack C2B2B, cross-media robust, B2B2C affiliate-based C2C management. Think out-of-the-box. Without meticulously-planned transparent angel investors, infrastructures are forced to become client-focused. Without micro-web-enabled re-sizing, you will lack backward-compatible, innovative branding. Our technology takes the best features of Python and OWL. Without well-chosen platforms, integrated R&D are forced to become customer-directed. If you harness compellingly, you may have to integrate nano-virtually. We here at Karei have come to know that it is better to utilize super-virally than to syndicate transparently. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. We will evolve the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "granular". Without sufficient communities, metrics are forced to become reality-based. Without adequate eyeballs, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 obfuscation are forced to become next-generation. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to monetize "virally"? A company that can incentivize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to harness fiercely. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be long-term? We have proven we know that if you evolve virtually then you may also exploit macro-transparently. We will add to our capacity to syndicate without lessening our capacity to syndicate. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing.