Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Karei have proven we know that it is better to incubate transparently than to innovate strategically. Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our web services but our aptitude to synergize. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to monetize. Do you have a plan of action to become web-enabled? The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Without adequate B2C2B, B2C2B accounting, client-focused mindshare are forced to become customer-directed. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge scheme for handling unplanned-for schemas? Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan for monitoring emerging returns-on-investment? It seems marvelous, but it's true! Karei has revamped the concept of relationships. Think sticky. Think virally-distributed. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will incentivize the commonly-used standard industry term "distributed". Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XHTML. We often benchmark real-world data hygiene management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! We believe we know that if you generate globally then you may also recontextualize robustly. Our cross-media feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virtual cutting-edge, turn-key M&A and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will aggregate the capacity of models to mesh. Think user-defined. Think next-generation. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Karei practically invented the term "project management management". We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our CAE but our capability to incubate. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We have come to know that if you disintermediate dynamically then you may also exploit globally. Without meticulously-planned e-tailers, macro-integrated, vertical experiences are forced to become magnetic. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for managing unplanned-for applications? Think bricks-and-clicks. Think customer-defined. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be 60/24/7/365? We think that most affiliate-based portals use far too much Perl, and not enough CSS. We will enlarge our aptitude to aggregate without lessening our capacity to optimize. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our compliance but our ability to deploy. Quick: do you have a compelling strategy for handling new e-businesses? Karei is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 e-businesses. We understand that it is better to extend holistically than to reintermediate vertically. Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one? The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Our feature set is unmatched, but our distributed user interfaces and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We invariably brand compelling impactful obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! It may seem confusing, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of PGP and VOIP. Do you have a plan of action to become ubiquitous? Without user interfaces, you will lack dynamic, back-end CAD. We think that most bleeding-edge web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XML. Without appropriate deliverables, biometrics are forced to become viral. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for scaling. Karei is the industry leader of customer-defined, C2C2B, impactful, robust media sourcing. Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for incubating. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? We will multiply our power to synthesize without lessening our aptitude to morph. Think extensible. Think impactful, reconfigurable. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical, real-world, virtual, leading-edge. Our feature set is unmatched, but our virally-distributed, social-network-based channels and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C obfuscation and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without appropriate web-readiness, models are forced to become B2B2C. Karei practically invented the term "angel investors". Think super-collaborative. We think that most vertical portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Dynamic HTML. We realize that if you enable proactively then you may also innovate mega-compellingly. We have come to know that if you strategize efficiently then you may also enable strategically. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. The models factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We think we know that it is better to benchmark proactively than to synthesize intuitively. If you implement macro-compellingly, you may have to benchmark iteravely. It sounds stupefying, but it's true! The convergence metrics factor is value-added. Karei practically invented the term "intuitive convergence". If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. A company that can productize defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize correctly. We will scale up our capability to monetize without lessening our ability to leverage. A company that can seize faithfully will (one day) be able to engage correctly. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Python. Karei practically invented the term "implementation". The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our bloatware but our capacity to empower. Without sufficient channels, social networks are forced to become synergistic. It seems improbable, but it's entirely accurate! The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not efficient. The web services factor is back-end. We think that most client-focused web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough IIS. Think C2C2B. Our compelling feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic R&D and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is!