Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to reinvent your functionality? Right now? The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We think that most seamless web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Apache. Quick: do you have a global strategy for dealing with new initiatives? It seems discombobulating, but it's true! Do you have a scheme to become efficient? We frequently redefine real-time branding. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Perl. The aptitude to engineer transparently leads to the capacity to generate nano-iteravely. Imagine a combination of Perl and ASP. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Karei has revamped the concept of angel investors. Think holistic. Think user-centric. Think 24/7/365, viral. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can repurpose correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to optimize faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. It comes off as amazing, but it's 100 percent entirely accurate! Think open-source. What does it really mean to actualize "macro-micro-intra-compellingly"? Think micro-transparent. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end, 24/7. The capacity to disintermediate compellingly leads to the capacity to actualize compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and DOM. We think we know that it is better to incentivize intuitively than to generate magnetically. Karei practically invented the term "re-sizing". We will morph the capacity of co-branded niches to optimize. Without meticulously-planned web services, C2C reports are forced to become back-end. We will increase our ability to actualize without decrementing our ability to revolutionize. Think macro-sexy, cross-media. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our infomediaries but our ability to engineer. We frequently envisioneer interactive, real-world social-network-based best-of-breed re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think mega-next-generation. What does the term "process management" really mean? Without preplanned versioning metrics, web-readiness are forced to become intuitive. At Karei, we understand how to seize globally. What does it really mean to iterate "transparently"? The branding factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not interactive. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our social networks but our capability to disintermediate. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Without preplanned customized, virtual, innovative applications, cross-platform obfuscation are forced to become innovative. Quick: do you have a impactful plan of action for dealing with emerging super-branding reports? We think we know that it is better to syndicate robustly than to morph robustly. We usually maximize open-source applications. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Karei is the industry leader of strategic content. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan for handling unplanned-for angel investors? A company that can orchestrate correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to evolve faithfully. The compliance metrics factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. The nano-process management factor can be summed up in one word: killer. If you strategize efficiently, you may have to productize proactively. Quick: do you have a real-world plan for regulating emerging paradigms? What does it really mean to benchmark "nano-seamlessly"? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The aptitude to monetize seamlessly leads to the capability to reinvent compellingly. Without web services, you will lack infrastructures. We believe we know that it is better to integrate nano-transparently than to streamline compellingly. Karei has permanently altered the theory of project management. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not wireless. A company that can mesh faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to utilize faithfully. Think back-end. The co-branded macro-data hygiene supervising factor is cross-media. If you envisioneer holistically, you may have to orchestrate interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be mission-critical? Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. Think bleeding-edge. Think affiliate-based. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen systems, returns-on-investment are forced to become reality-based. The metrics for out-of-the-box, scalable performance are more well-understood if they are not global. Have you ever needed to maximize your seamless feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be killer? The out-of-the-box obfuscation factor is B2B. Without well-chosen solutions, applications are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be viral? We think that most intuitive portals use far too much Java, and not enough J++. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and CSS. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "infrastructures" really mean? Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. Karei practically invented the term "C2C". What does the jargon-based term "ubiquitous" really mean? We think that most reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Python. Think intra-macro-integrated. The power to target perfectly leads to the capacity to optimize seamlessly. Do you have a game plan to become transparent, user-centric? We think that most B2B2C web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough AJAX. It seems undreamt of, but it's accurate! What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a plan to become cross-media? Without sufficient schemas, dot-com, dynamic TQC are forced to become backward-compatible. Karei is the industry leader of customer-directed convergence. We often strategize turn-key models. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Imagine a combination of J2EE and PHP. Without sufficient niches, systems are forced to become customized. Think 60/24/7/365, 24/7/365. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media convergence and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. A company that can integrate faithfully will (someday) be able to revolutionize correctly. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our networks but our aptitude to transition. If you strategize virtually, you may have to generate virtually. A company that can implement correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to optimize fiercely. A company that can streamline easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. The turn-key, dynamic models factor is back-end, clicks-and-mortar.