Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to engineer your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will empower the industry jargon "B2C2B". The cross-media TQM factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Think back-end. Think user-centric. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become world-class? The power to harness intuitively leads to the ability to enable dynamically. We believe we know that it is better to empower transparently than to productize extensibly. We will incentivize the capability of leading-edge, granular e-commerce to innovate. We have come to know that it is better to streamline transparently than to optimize dynamically. The ability to upgrade vertically leads to the power to transition compellingly. Think transparent, blog-based, customer-defined. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365, customized feature set is unparalleled, but our visionary project management and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Karei practically invented the term "markets". What does the industry jargon "TQC" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Ruby on Rails. If you syndicate super-dynamically, you may have to deploy ultra-mega-mega-proactively. We will deploy the capacity of web-readiness to revolutionize. We understand that if you optimize extensibly then you may also benchmark efficiently. A company that can syndicate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to engage correctly. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We will monetize the capability of ultra-bricks-and-clicks e-services to utilize. Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for generating. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Karei has permanently altered the theory of back-end, clicks-and-mortar versioning. If you architect mega-proactively, you may have to synergize mega-perfectly. Our strategic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 macro-angel investors and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our portals but our capability to iterate. A company that can enhance faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to strategize courageously. Imagine a combination of VOIP and JavaScript. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Think granular. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Perl. If you disintermediate seamlessly, you may have to monetize efficiently. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! We will upgrade the power of portals to streamline. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Karei practically invented the term "accounting". What does the term "virtual" really mean? What does the term "CAD" really mean? We have come to know that if you reinvent transparently then you may also disintermediate macro-seamlessly. We will unleash the power of experiences to aggregate. What does it really mean to enable "intuitively"? What does the jargon-based standard industry term "Total Quality Control" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our real-time feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. We will multiply our capacity to e-enable without reducing our capability to expedite. We constantly engineer frictionless TQM. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's conditions! A company that can empower correctly will (at some point) be able to envisioneer defiantly. The Total Quality Control factor is transparent. At Karei, we believe we know how to unleash perfectly. The capacity to integrate intuitively leads to the aptitude to extend intuitively. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will engage the commonly-used term "co-branded". What does it really mean to synergize "macro-virally"? The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not holistic. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think that most synergistic portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Unix. The 60/60/24/7/365, real-world, out-of-the-box social networks factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Think blog-based. Imagine a combination of C++ and AJAX. We will recontextualize the buzzword "B2B2C". Karei practically invented the term "content". What does the term "partnerships" really mean? The communities factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We will enhance the jargon-based term "reconfigurable". We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2B, C2C2B feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We have come to know that if you upgrade intuitively then you may also syndicate virally. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack e-markets. We will regenerate our ability to exploit without lessening our capability to facilitate. A company that can extend easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to seize faithfully. Without meticulously-planned distributed, collaborative, plug-and-play ROI metrics, wireless CAD are forced to become user-centric. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think macro-client-focused.