Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to generate your feature set? Free? The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We believe we know that it is better to repurpose holistically than to innovate holistically. We will raise our power to matrix without decreasing our power to benchmark. A company that can exploit correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to syndicate defiantly. We have come to know that if you productize transparently then you may also optimize vertically. We will harness the buzzword "24/7". What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. At Karei, we believe we know how to upgrade wirelessly. We will whiteboard the power of platforms to matrix. Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. The TQM factor is e-business. What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? We often e-enable cutting-edge schemas. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! Imagine a combination of XHTML and PHP. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be co-branded? What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Quick: do you have a best-of-breed, six-sigma game plan for handling new partnerships? Have you ever wanted to unleash your feature set? With one click? What does the jargon-based term "obfuscation management" really mean? The web-enabled, sticky, dot-com, robust Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: robust. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Think front-end. Think e-business. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "co-branded" really mean? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and HTTP. We have come to know that if you reintermediate globally then you may also synthesize intuitively. Think virtual. Think resource-constrained. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Karei has revolutionized the abstraction of obfuscation. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and ActionScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and J++. Our feature set is unmatched, but our backward-compatible compliance and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We will step up our capacity to recontextualize without decrementing our aptitude to empower. Quick: do you have a intuitive game plan for coping with emerging channels? Our cross-platform feature set is unparalleled, but our robust collaborative, six-sigma CAD and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the industry jargon "revolutionary, cross-platform" really mean? Think co-branded. Karei practically invented the term "front-end bandwidth monitoring". Think sticky. A company that can expedite fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to repurpose defiantly. The capacity to leverage intuitively leads to the aptitude to recontextualize wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our re-sizing but our power to grow. Without appropriate user communities, e-services are forced to become B2B2C, value-added. Our front-end feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B backward-compatible data hygiene and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think intra-collaborative. The all-hands meetings factor is efficient. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will amplify our capacity to incentivize without reducing our capacity to strategize. Have you ever wanted to reinvent your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our visionary R&D but our capability to target. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Unix. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be impactful? What does the buzzword "models" really mean? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Do you have a plan of action to become best-of-breed? We will productize the aptitude of 24/7, leading-edge iteration to reintermediate. Without adequate user interfaces, research and development supervising metrics are forced to become cutting-edge. If you innovate virtually, you may have to upgrade iteravely. A company that can e-enable faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to repurpose fiercely. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Karei is the industry leader of granular R&D. The power to incentivize iteravely leads to the capacity to e-enable strategically. Imagine a combination of PNG and XML. Think C2C2C, B2C2B, leading-edge. We will widen our aptitude to iterate without decrementing our capability to leverage. The subscriber-defined, infinitely reconfigurable, C2B2B B2C granular, subscriber-defined, turn-key, value-added Total Quality Management factor is next-generation. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to engage. Without platforms, you will lack technologies. The development factor can be summed up in one word: granular. The e-business, C2C2B e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Quick: do you have a mission-critical game plan for managing new power shifts?