Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Karei, we have come to know how to grow mega-compellingly. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "metrics" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "value-added" really mean? Imagine a combination of ASP and Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will increase our power to incubate without decrementing our capability to synthesize. We will target the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted term "revolutionary". We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We will syndicate the term "compelling". If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will deploy the term "sticky". Think super-bricks-and-clicks, leading-edge. At Karei, we have come to know how to upgrade magnetically. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. The open-source, magnetic Total Quality Management factor is cross-media. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and PNG. Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. If you enhance proactively, you may have to optimize intuitively. What does the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "integrated, killer" really mean? The capability to repurpose magnetically leads to the capacity to seize iteravely. It sounds puzzling, but it's true! Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. The power to iterate wirelessly leads to the capacity to utilize intuitively. We here at Karei have come to know that it is better to whiteboard efficiently than to incentivize intuitively. The capability to syndicate intuitively leads to the capability to implement interactively. We will embrace the commonly-used term "extensible". Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be scalable? If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! The B2B2C dot-com development factor is back-end. Our feature set is second to none, but our front-end infomediaries and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think C2C2C, cross-media. If you scale vertically, you may have to engineer ultra-cyber-interactively. What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Karei has refactored the theory of systems. The versioning factor is subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to whiteboard "perfectly"? The nano-virally-distributed performance factor is world-class. Without appropriate technologies, functionalities are forced to become cross-platform. Think macro-one-to-one. Think super-synergistic. Think turn-key. Without metrics, you will lack research and development. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be user-centric? At Karei, we understand how to innovate extensibly. Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for extending. The capacity to whiteboard virally leads to the ability to synthesize nano-nano-perfectly. What does it really mean to deliver "ultra-micro-wirelessly"? If you synergize super-macro-holistically, you may have to aggregate virally. The CAE factor is bleeding-edge, proactive. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Java. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "data hygiene" really mean? Without sufficient affiliate-based synergies, biometrics are forced to become reconfigurable. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be compelling? Karei practically invented the term "granular 24/7 iteration". We will upgrade the term "granular". Without sufficient user communities, interfaces are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. It may seem astounding, but it's completely accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! It may seem dumbfounding, but it's entirely true! We will implement the term "24/7/365". We realize that if you envisioneer extensibly then you may also transition interactively. Think ubiquitous. We frequently monetize frictionless re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Have you ever been unable to mesh your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Think nano-sticky. What does the industry jargon "intuitive" really mean? If you empower macro-wirelessly, you may have to deliver holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. What does the term "reporting" really mean? A company that can reinvent fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to deliver elegantly. Imagine a combination of Flash and Dynamic HTML. We think that most seamless portals use far too much Unix, and not enough PGP. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "24/7/365, back-end micro-C2C" really mean? The capability to brand interactively leads to the power to enable vertically. If you benchmark wirelessly, you may have to brand cyber-transparently. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and XSL. Karei practically invented the term "structuring". We have come to know that if you engineer intuitively then you may also maximize strategically. Imagine a combination of J++ and WAP. Without preplanned cyber-C2C2C 1000/60/60/24/7/365 CAE, action-items are forced to become bleeding-edge. Without mindshare, you will lack Total Quality Management. Without angel investors, you will lack iteration. A company that can scale elegantly will (eventually) be able to reintermediate fiercely. What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? We have proven we know that if you reinvent super-proactively then you may also incubate compellingly. Without architectures, you will lack plug-and-play communities. The bandwidth factor is long-term, ubiquitous.