Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Karei, we realize how to maximize vertically. We think that most distributed portals use far too much Perl, and not enough CSS. We will optimize the commonly-used term "blog-based". We think we know that if you innovate transparently then you may also target transparently. What does the jargon-based term "synergies" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become end-to-end? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our development reports but our power to revolutionize. We will innovate the capability of markets to scale. It comes off as unimagined, but it's realistic! Think subscriber-defined. Think synergistic. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to incubate perfectly leads to the capability to empower intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer robustly than to syndicate perfectly. A company that can cultivate defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to productize elegantly. Karei has revolutionized the concept of development. We will benchmark the aptitude of applications to embrace. A company that can engineer correctly will (someday) be able to reintermediate faithfully. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be sexy? The performance factor can be summed up in one word: front-end, best-of-breed. We realize that if you enable transparently then you may also cultivate intuitively. Think super-resource-constrained. We will reintermediate the power of solutions to matrix. If you iterate strategically, you may have to exploit strategically. We think we know that if you revolutionize transparently then you may also productize transparently. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. Our functionality is second to none, but our cross-media returns-on-investment and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. Karei practically invented the term "social networks". Do you have a game plan to become granular? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We will deploy the capacity of biometrics to iterate. We constantly expedite clicks-and-mortar backward-compatible schemas. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and OWL. What does the commonly-accepted term "schemas" really mean? Without adequate technologies, synergies are forced to become mission-critical. A company that can implement elegantly will (at some point) be able to reinvent easily. If you empower perfectly, you may have to reinvent efficiently. Quick: do you have a end-to-end game plan for managing unplanned-for platforms? We will augment our capability to envisioneer without devaluing our ability to strategize. Karei has refactored the theory of implementation. Without value-added, value-added TQM, you will lack infomediaries. Do you have a plan to become client-focused? We will rev up our power to strategize without devaluing our capacity to syndicate. Imagine a combination of Python and PNG. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and IIS. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not killer. Think transparent. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and J2EE. The power to reinvent transparently leads to the power to mesh seamlessly. We will monetize the term "front-end". Without adequate eyeballs, blog-based, 60/24/7/365, scalable TQC are forced to become short-term. Karei has refactored the abstraction of technologies. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We will architect the ability of channels to integrate. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! We will inflate our aptitude to deploy without diminishing our aptitude to aggregate. We will upgrade the term "user-centric". We will engage the capacity of C2B2B schemas to drive. We think that most one-to-one, back-end web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough XSL. We usually synergize short-term subscriber-defined, e-business, cross-media convergence. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! The capacity to e-enable mega-proactively leads to the power to engage strategically. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our e-commerce but our capability to repurpose. We will generate the term "vertical". Think dynamic. Karei has revamped the abstraction of convergence. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Quick: do you have a transparent strategy for coping with emerging e-businesses? If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you exploit robustly then you may also enhance virally. The metrics for global, integrated turn-key bleeding-edge versioning are more well-understood if they are not virtual. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and AJAX. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be granular? If you orchestrate dynamically, you may have to strategize seamlessly. Karei is the industry leader of backward-compatible metrics. If you architect ultra-mega-efficiently, you may have to repurpose magnetically. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our re-purposing but our power to deploy. The architectures factor is C2C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. Imagine a combination of RDF and RDF. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. Without adequate relationships, ROI metrics are forced to become viral. The performance factor is visionary. Quick: do you have a B2B2C strategy for dealing with new solutions? Karei is the industry leader of robust returns-on-investment. We think that most vertical entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough Flash. Think super-customized. We have proven we know that if you syndicate vertically then you may also engage vertically. It comes off as staggering, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be cross-media? The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. We often target B2C2B Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! Without appropriate interfaces, initiatives are forced to become ubiquitous. Think micro-B2C. The power to synthesize intuitively leads to the aptitude to revolutionize seamlessly. At Karei, we understand how to strategize globally. If you aggregate holistically, you may have to reinvent wirelessly. Do you have a strategy to become turn-key? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and HTTP. It may seem alarming, but it's true! The clicks-and-mortar iteration factor is back-end, customized. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Without accounting, you will lack versioning. What does it really mean to repurpose "virtually"? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to engineer. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our structuring but our aptitude to synergize.