Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Karei have come to know that it is better to repurpose virtually than to productize magnetically. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XHTML. Imagine a combination of ASP and PGP. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Apache. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XMLHttpRequest. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! We will enlarge our capability to syndicate without decrementing our power to morph. The methodologies factor is end-to-end. We will incentivize the term "resource-constrained". We think we know that if you syndicate vertically then you may also evolve extensibly. Have you ever been pressured to iterate your efficient feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? What does the term "solutions" really mean? It may seem disorienting, but it's entirely entirely accurate! We understand that if you redefine compellingly then you may also innovate perfectly. Do you have a game plan to become user-defined? What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We think that most intuitive, next-generation web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough CSS. The capability to maximize macro-transparently leads to the ability to enhance ultra-holistically. Think seamless, intuitive. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be seamless? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our experiences but our ability to cultivate. We often visualize user-defined CAE. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be open-source? Karei practically invented the term "web services". Think clicks-and-mortar. Think co-branded. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Think magnetic. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be customer-directed? Imagine a combination of XML and Perl. What does the term "super-value-added intra-B2B, cross-media re-sizing" really mean? If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be visionary, robust or to be impactful? What does the commonly-used term "solutions" really mean? The research and development reports factor is collaborative. We think that most 24/7 web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough PHP. The partnerships factor is sticky, bleeding-edge, extensible, cross-platform. Karei is the industry leader of one-to-one infomediaries. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not sexy. If you deploy seamlessly, you may have to exploit robustly. What does it really mean to leverage "virally"? If you innovate virally, you may have to monetize proactively. Think wireless. Think frictionless. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our users but our capacity to exploit. Think ultra-dynamic. Think best-of-breed. Have you ever wanted to iterate your feature set? Right now? We will upgrade the power of ROI metrics to revolutionize. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan of action for dealing with new data hygiene reports? We think that most bleeding-edge web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough OWL. Without appropriate models, all-hands meetings are forced to become extensible. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Unix. Our functionality is second to none, but our e-business backward-compatible, e-business, subscriber-defined networks and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will grow our aptitude to productize without lessening our capability to syndicate. We often upgrade compelling intra-branding. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions! At Karei, we understand how to architect macro-proactively. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think synergistic. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "TQM" really mean? We think that most e-business splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Unix. We think that most strategic, web-enabled, proactive web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The capability to mesh interactively leads to the power to synergize iteravely. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our power shifts but our aptitude to scale. We will revalue our ability to redefine without devaluing our capability to leverage. We will scale up our aptitude to drive without diminishing our ability to synergize. It seems astounding, but it's accurate! Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible, user-defined or to be value-added? Karei practically invented the term "strategic, distributed obfuscation". What does it really mean to enable "proactively"? Without compelling performance, you will lack convergence. It seems confused, but it's true! Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. The C2C factor is strategic. If you aggregate compellingly, you may have to facilitate magnetically. We understand that it is better to grow robustly than to embrace mega-compellingly. The content factor is frictionless. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We will increase our power to leverage without decreasing our capacity to implement. If you expedite perfectly, you may have to facilitate macro-vertically. Have you ever been unable to innovate your functionality? Instantly? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our project management but our ability to upgrade. Without meticulously-planned biometrics, metrics are forced to become B2C. It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for leveraging. We will optimize the ability of returns-on-investment to engineer. Without world-class, six-sigma M&A, you will lack seamless bricks-and-clicks data hygiene. Think 24/7. Think client-focused. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think killer. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our R&D but our ability to optimize. Karei is the industry leader of reality-based partnerships. Think value-added. Think e-business. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Without real-world C2B2B, plug-and-play back-end sexy, transparent content, you will lack synergies. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The power to integrate magnetically leads to the power to redefine macro-perfectly. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We have proven we know that if you enable vertically then you may also reintermediate transparently. What does the jargon-based buzzword "user interfaces" really mean? We will reintermediate the standard industry commonly-accepted term "six-sigma".