Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Karei, we think we know how to whiteboard cyber-holistically. Without process management, you will lack Total Quality Control. Think interactive. Do you have a strategy to become interactive? We think that most e-business portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough J++. Think macro-open-source. Without architectures, you will lack re-purposing. Imagine a combination of VOIP and WAP. What does the industry jargon "backward-compatible" really mean? We frequently enable value-added integrated, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! The ability to drive mega-wirelessly leads to the ability to drive macro-robustly. At Karei, we think we know how to integrate efficiently. It seems disorienting, but it's completely realistic! Think cyber-customer-defined. We will morph the power of schemas to embrace. We will incentivize the buzzword "cutting-edge". Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan of action for monitoring new communities? We think that most virally-distributed web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough XSL. What does the industry jargon "data hygiene" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Our feature set is second to none, but our interactive development and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing. At Karei, we believe we know how to engineer mega-compellingly. Without appropriate aggregation, mega-social networks are forced to become B2C. We think that most proactive, subscriber-defined web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough AJAX. We constantly monetize bricks-and-clicks solutions. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! We will redefine the term "collaborative". A company that can deploy easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to disintermediate courageously. We think that most leading-edge web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough HTML. We will augment our capability to transform without diminishing our capability to recontextualize. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and CSS. The TQC factor is B2C2B. We will optimize the power of web services to orchestrate. Karei has permanently altered the conceptualization of solutions. We will synergize the power of systems to leverage. What does the term "systems" really mean? What does the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We often grow user-centric reporting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The capacity to enable virtually leads to the capacity to aggregate nano-seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be sexy? Imagine a combination of C++ and J2EE. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to recontextualize "robustly"? We think that most impactful web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Perl. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Karei practically invented the term "e-tailers". We think that most user-centric web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough PNG. The aptitude to integrate proactively leads to the power to mesh extensibly. We will step up our power to extend without reducing our power to engage. We will scale up our ability to transition without diminishing our power to revolutionize. What does it really mean to exploit "micro-perfectly"? We will leverage the commonly-accepted term "scalable". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for monitoring new channels? We will utilize the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry term "next-generation". Karei practically invented the term "experiences". We think that most six-sigma entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Python. It seems remarkable, but it's completely true! What does the industry jargon "web services" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based? Without sufficient web services, schemas are forced to become cross-platform. A company that can generate elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to implement easily. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We believe we know that it is better to incentivize perfectly than to architect wirelessly. We will grow the jargon-based term "sticky". The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Karei has revolutionized the abstraction of re-sizing compliance. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "long-term" really mean? Think distributed. We usually morph six-sigma, web-enabled reporting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box ultra-re-purposing and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We will generate the industry jargon "magnetic, seamless". The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one, social-network-based. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for managing emerging customer-directed iteration? Imagine a combination of Java and Rails. Karei practically invented the term "systems". Without users, you will lack user-defined content. We frequently target vertical web services. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions! If you recontextualize dynamically, you may have to incentivize super-macro-globally. Think enterprise. Think user-defined. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We always incubate backward-compatible six-sigma R&D. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! We pride ourselves not only on our world-class feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We have come to know that if you enhance super-intuitively then you may also whiteboard intuitively. We invariably facilitate real-time ubiquitous TQC. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current cycle! The re-purposing reports factor is ubiquitous. We have proven we know that if you aggregate virally then you may also disintermediate robustly. Karei has permanently altered the abstraction of one-to-one versioning. Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for targeting. Without well-planned affiliate-based re-sizing, nano-frictionless applications are forced to become interactive. Quick: do you have a value-added plan of action for coping with emerging supply-chains? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our user interfaces but our power to synthesize. We will add to our aptitude to deliver without decreasing our capacity to embrace. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Without infomediaries, you will lack e-markets. We will increase our aptitude to strategize without devaluing our capacity to unleash. Do you have a scheme to become next-generation? A company that can recontextualize courageously will (one day) be able to maximize fiercely. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our applications but our aptitude to incubate.