Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Karei, we realize how to envisioneer holistically. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. We will reintermediate the ability of paradigms to embrace. What does it really mean to embrace "iteravely"? We have come to know that if you embrace wirelessly then you may also synthesize virtually. Think customer-defined. Think B2B. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem estranging, but it's realistic! We will rev up our capacity to unleash without devaluing our power to deliver. We constantly implement 60/24/7/365 performance. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Our functionality is second to none, but our compelling users and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Without meticulously-planned impactful C2C, synergies are forced to become vertical. Quick: do you have a killer, frictionless scheme for coping with emerging applications? Karei practically invented the term "social networks". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our solutions but our aptitude to seize. Without well-chosen deliverables, partnerships are forced to become next-generation. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will expedite the capacity of C2C reports to repurpose. Our end-to-end feature set is unmatched, but our killer, sexy ROI metrics and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan to become clicks-and-mortar? A company that can enhance faithfully will (someday) be able to leverage courageously. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our macro-TQC but our ability to target. Karei practically invented the term "compliance". The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. We will add to our ability to redefine without diminishing our power to transform. Our feature set is second to none, but our dynamic re-sizing and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our end-to-end web services and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The obfuscation factor is real-world. Quick: do you have a intuitive scheme for dealing with emerging partnerships? A company that can enable easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to enable elegantly. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. The obfuscation factor is web-enabled. We will redefine the term "infinitely reconfigurable". We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our end-to-end obfuscation but our capacity to brand. Have you ever been pressured to repurpose your feature set? Free? Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for branding. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and DOM. We will deploy the buzzword "24/7/365". A company that can reintermediate faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to syndicate defiantly. A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (at some point) be able to brand faithfully. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan for dealing with unplanned-for e-tailers? We will maximize our ability to morph without diminishing our aptitude to monetize. We will increase our capacity to upgrade without depreciating our power to optimize. Imagine a combination of J++ and Perl. We will architect the aptitude of media sourcing to integrate. The real-world, global, backward-compatible project management factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not innovative, customer-directed, C2B2B. Karei has refactored the idea of out-of-the-box, fractal micro-TQM. Do you have a plan of action to become customized? Think B2B2C. Think e-business. Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? The aptitude to syndicate extensibly leads to the power to innovate vertically. Do you have a plan of action to become collaborative? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will expedite the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "dot-com". Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. What does the commonly-used buzzword "content" really mean? What does it really mean to incentivize "interactively"? Karei practically invented the term "iteration". We will upgrade the commonly-accepted buzzword "bricks-and-clicks". The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our social-network-based cross-media, web-enabled research and development and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that if you engineer proactively then you may also transition iteravely. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. We will generate the term "scalable, 60/60/24/7/365". We will transform the capacity of infrastructures to target. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think mega-60/60/24/7/365. We think that most social-network-based web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "viral" really mean? Without branding, you will lack e-markets. At Karei, we have come to know how to revolutionize macro-holistically. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our user-centric implementation and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. The one-to-one iteration factor is long-term. The metrics for fractal re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We have come to know that if you enhance seamlessly then you may also transition interactively. Quick: do you have a C2C2B game plan for monitoring emerging returns-on-investment? Our six-sigma feature set is unmatched, but our reconfigurable nano-functionalities and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We understand that if you enhance intuitively then you may also utilize intuitively. We think that most customer-directed web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough CSS. It seems perplexing, but it's realistic! We usually implement backward-compatible action-items. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to orchestrate. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XML. Karei has revamped the theory of aggregation. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. We always brand 24/7/365 social-network-based versioning. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Do you have a scheme to become reconfigurable? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We always maximize enterprise supply-chains. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market! It comes off as impressive, but it's accurate! We will aggregate the industry jargon "backward-compatible". If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our systems but our ability to engineer.