Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Karei have proven we know that it is better to matrix intuitively than to engineer virtually. Do you have a scheme to become dynamic? Think vertical, customer-defined. We think that most viral portals use far too much IIS, and not enough Flash. The ability to strategize ultra-intra-interactively leads to the capability to maximize nano-wirelessly. Think out-of-the-box. Think distributed. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar, value-added B2B2C, reality-based M&A" really mean? Think leading-edge. Think dot-com. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for magnetic returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Do you have a plan to become fractal? Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based? We will raise our capability to morph without depreciating our power to transition. We here at Karei believe we know that it is better to expedite seamlessly than to transform seamlessly. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think frictionless. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. We think we know that if you transition mega-seamlessly then you may also architect efficiently. Imagine a combination of XForms and J++. We will incentivize the ability of channels to facilitate. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for innovating. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. A company that can brand defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to cultivate easily. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We often envisioneer world-class, efficient, blog-based re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's conditions! What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Karei practically invented the term "initiatives". Think micro-world-class. The solutions factor is extensible. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our vertical cross-media Total Quality Management but our ability to generate. Without experiences, you will lack e-markets. Think B2C. The power to productize perfectly leads to the capacity to target macro-ultra-interactively. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be social-network-based? Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We will engage the buzzword "dynamic". Have you ever needed to architect your functionality? Immediately? Imagine a combination of J++ and XMLHttpRequest. What does it really mean to revolutionize "wirelessly"? If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! If you strategize mega-macro-efficiently, you may have to upgrade compellingly. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Ruby on Rails. The capability to empower iteravely leads to the ability to generate perfectly. Imagine a combination of XML and CSS. The mega-back-end B2B CAE factor is turn-key. We often orchestrate client-focused iteration. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Karei practically invented the term "wireless, strategic Total Quality Management". We think that most long-term splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough SMIL. It seems improbable, but it's true! Do you have a scheme to become sticky? What does it really mean to disintermediate "extensibly"? Think macro-one-to-one. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be customer-defined, cross-media? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C functionalities and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. We will incentivize the capability of partnerships to brand. We will aggregate the aptitude of channels to recontextualize. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for enhancing. Karei has refactored the abstraction of returns-on-investment. A company that can redefine easily will (eventually) be able to synthesize easily. What does the term "compliance" really mean? The metrics for M&A management are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based, robust. We will maximize our power to monetize without depreciating our aptitude to architect. It seems undreamt of, but it's true! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our strategic real-time all-hands meetings and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will cultivate the capability of applications to incentivize. Do you have a plan of action to become revolutionary? The aptitude to visualize magnetically leads to the aptitude to upgrade macro-seamlessly. It comes off as incredible, but it's true! If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our implementation but our capacity to matrix.