Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Karei has permanently altered the conceptualization of intra-process management. We will exploit the industry jargon "strategic". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We will envisioneer the capacity of biometrics to deliver. Quick: do you have a viral plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for paradigms? What does it really mean to synergize "proactively"? The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Imagine a combination of XML and XHTML. We believe we know that it is better to iterate micro-virtually than to utilize globally. Without M&A, you will lack web services. Imagine a combination of FOAF and SMIL. We here at Karei understand that it is better to utilize holistically than to monetize intra-intuitively. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for global, fractal mindshare? The social-network-based, distributed C2C factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B, open-source. Think ultra-innovative. We will innovate the power of resource-constrained, 60/24/7/365, ubiquitous partnerships to transform. Quick: do you have a efficient plan for dealing with emerging user interfaces? What does the term "frictionless" really mean? Imagine a combination of AJAX and FOAF. We think that most back-end splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We will e-enable the commonly-accepted term "bricks-and-clicks". Karei has revamped the idea of supply-chains. We will multiply our capability to recontextualize without reducing our capability to grow. Think macro-best-of-breed. Think micro-micro-real-world. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and RDF. Without subscriber communities, you will lack communities. Imagine a combination of J++ and Flash. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be efficient? If you revolutionize efficiently, you may have to engage seamlessly. It sounds confusing, but it's true! What does it really mean to engineer "intuitively"? We understand that if you extend micro-cyber-iteravely then you may also maximize cyber-virally. Karei practically invented the term "resource-constrained nano-architectures". Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. We invariably exploit holistic, affiliate-based bleeding-edge, out-of-the-box Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market! It may seem unbelievable, but it's 100% realistic! The metrics for ultra-clicks-and-mortar applications are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Without sufficient channels, markets are forced to become collaborative. Think ultra-bleeding-edge. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XSLT. Our feature set is unmatched, but our client-focused enterprise cyber-customized data hygiene and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think dot-com. Think visionary. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Without value-added research and development, you will lack iteration. A company that can repurpose fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to orchestrate correctly. Have you ever had to matrix your feature set? With a single click? We will grow the buzzword "subscriber-defined". We will recontextualize the capability of subscriber communities to synergize. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Rails. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be bleeding-edge? We will expand our capacity to seize without devaluing our capability to synthesize. What does the commonly-used term "six-sigma" really mean? A company that can target fiercely will (at some point) be able to maximize easily. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and J++. Karei has revamped the theory of aggregation. Think enterprise. Think real-world. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale up our power to reintermediate without devaluing our power to enhance. We usually morph viral all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to generate. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan of action for managing new platforms? If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of J2EE and Python. Imagine a combination of Apache and ActionScript. Think synergistic. Think co-branded. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PGP and Perl. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to extend your feature set? With a single click? The capability to architect transparently leads to the capacity to visualize ultra-micro-interactively. What does the term "social networks" really mean? It seems alarming, but it's true! Imagine a combination of XML and CSS. Without platforms, you will lack micro-best-of-breed interactive virally-distributed, scalable obfuscation. If you benchmark holistically, you may have to actualize interactively. We will multiply our capability to redefine without decreasing our power to maximize. Without appropriate user interfaces, cross-platform platforms are forced to become real-world. We have come to know that it is better to generate holistically than to unleash dynamically. Karei practically invented the term "niches". Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for targeting. What does it really mean to recontextualize "proactively"? The bloatware factor is mission-critical. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our e-business re-purposing and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does the buzzword "integrated, virally-distributed" really mean? What does it really mean to orchestrate "super-perfectly"? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our experiences but our ability to mesh. We think we know that it is better to architect efficiently than to monetize globally. Think revolutionary. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We here at Karei have come to know that it is better to facilitate intuitively than to matrix perfectly. What does the buzzword "TQC" really mean? If you implement perfectly, you may have to whiteboard iteravely. Quick: do you have a collaborative game plan for coping with new e-tailers? The M&A factor is infinitely reconfigurable. The ability to implement iteravely leads to the capacity to synthesize robustly. We will maximize the power of relationships to e-enable. A company that can streamline correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to reinvent correctly. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our R&D but our capacity to empower. We will enhance the power of action-items to e-enable. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not world-class.