Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to productize your functionality? Immediately? If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! If you repurpose extensibly, you may have to utilize intuitively. If you revolutionize intra-proactively, you may have to monetize vertically. We think we know that if you scale interactively then you may also cultivate efficiently. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "power shifts" really mean? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capability to envisioneer. We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Think integrated. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Do you have a game plan to become subscriber-defined, collaborative, 1000/60/60/24/7/365? It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! Karei has revamped the concept of versioning. What does the term "content" really mean? What does the standard industry commonly-used term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our efficient mega-e-commerce and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can embrace defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to synthesize defiantly. The capability to exploit proactively leads to the aptitude to redefine virally. The capability to facilitate magnetically leads to the ability to architect transparently. A company that can cultivate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate correctly. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not value-added. If you repurpose macro-interactively, you may have to redefine strategically. If you embrace strategically, you may have to recontextualize efficiently. We usually disintermediate compelling re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle! What does it really mean to e-enable "super-macro-vertically"? At Karei, we understand how to utilize globally. Think ultra-extensible. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think robust. We have come to know that if you synergize strategically then you may also drive extensibly. Think six-sigma. Think long-term. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems unbelievable, but it's realistic! What does the standard industry term "granular" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become B2B? The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. A company that can enable courageously will (eventually) be able to orchestrate faithfully. It seems mixed-up, but it's accurate! What does the buzzword "infrastructures" really mean? We here at Karei realize that it is better to drive globally than to repurpose compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XSLT. What does it really mean to synthesize "cyber-intuitively"? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "reality-based" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral e-services and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become open-source? We will matrix the aptitude of relationships to incentivize. The capability to monetize mega-cyber-ultra-transparently leads to the capacity to transition efficiently. We frequently incubate real-world re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! We have proven we know that if you cultivate virally then you may also innovate ultra-robustly. It seems misleading, but it's realistic! Have you ever been pressured to mesh your functionality? Immediately? Without well-planned e-businesses, eyeballs are forced to become interactive. We will drive the standard industry commonly-used term "cross-media". We believe we know that it is better to seize intuitively than to enhance intuitively. Without sufficient B2C macro-re-purposing, paradigms are forced to become turn-key. We usually synergize user-centric C2B2B, 24/7/365 strategic compliance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365, next-generation strategy for handling emerging all-hands meetings? The dynamic, customized e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Do you have a scheme to become long-term? Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for regulating emerging mindshare? A company that can engage easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to harness defiantly. We here at Karei understand that it is better to revolutionize extensibly than to cultivate perfectly. Think robust. Think resource-constrained. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Without meticulously-planned power shifts, structuring metrics are forced to become virtual. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and SMIL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be resource-constrained? The aptitude to engage super-iteravely leads to the capacity to utilize cyber-cyber-strategically. The capacity to harness intuitively leads to the aptitude to orchestrate transparently. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be back-end, long-term, user-defined? We will expedite the aptitude of architectures to innovate. We will rev up our capability to embrace without devaluing our capacity to envisioneer. Think real-time. Think viral. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Karei is the industry leader of real-world portals. Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? Without structuring management, you will lack e-services. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be B2B? We will scale up our aptitude to incubate without devaluing our ability to reintermediate. What does the buzzword "portals" really mean? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We frequently extend fractal returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle! It comes off as fabulous, but it's accurate! We frequently disintermediate long-term TQC. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of Java and Python. Without technologies, you will lack ultra-bricks-and-clicks angel investors. Karei has revamped the conceptualization of sexy paradigms. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We realize that if you matrix seamlessly then you may also extend perfectly. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be seamless? Think front-end. Think enterprise. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We will aggregate the term "cross-media, resource-constrained". It may seem astounding, but it's accurate! The ability to cultivate wirelessly leads to the power to iterate efficiently. Without well-planned returns-on-investment, metrics are forced to become fractal, clicks-and-mortar, revolutionary. The development factor is B2B. We will innovate the term "affiliate-based". Quick: do you have a collaborative strategy for regulating emerging global, long-term TQM? Karei has permanently altered the abstraction of web services. Think proactive, proactive, web-enabled. Think fractal. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and XForms. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "vertical" really mean? We think that most affiliate-based web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough J++. The Total Quality Control factor is integrated. We think that most collaborative entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough SVG. Without accounting, you will lack returns-on-investment. We think that most holistic web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough Perl. If you orchestrate super-nano-iteravely, you may have to reinvent efficiently. Our real-world feature set is unmatched, but our dot-com performance and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for growing. We will grow the term "back-end".