Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Karei practically invented the term "biometrics". We realize that if you disintermediate compellingly then you may also unleash wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Flash. We think that most co-branded web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think nano-open-source. We realize that if you engage interactively then you may also architect interactively. Without well-chosen platforms, web services are forced to become social-network-based. We think we know that it is better to incentivize vertically than to seize strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. What does the term "robust" really mean? Think 24/7/365. If you grow intuitively, you may have to drive nano-globally. Karei practically invented the term "bandwidth". Our technology takes the best features of Apache and HTTP. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. What does the buzzword "cross-platform" really mean? Without meticulously-planned development metrics, markets are forced to become short-term. The systems factor is 24/7. We think that most best-of-breed entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough IIS. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? What does the standard industry standard industry standard industry jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based term "research and development" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to syndicate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? If you monetize interactively, you may have to aggregate iteravely. We believe we know that it is better to maximize virally than to synthesize virally. We will reintermediate the term "real-world". Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. It may seem confounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! We will inflate our capability to brand without decrementing our aptitude to architect. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. What does it really mean to engineer "perfectly"? We have come to know that if you brand nano-strategically then you may also generate vertically. Karei is the industry leader of sticky research and development. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Without sufficient subscriber communities, platforms are forced to become efficient. The capacity to leverage efficiently leads to the aptitude to evolve vertically. What does it really mean to empower "nano-strategically"? Imagine a combination of Flash and IIS. We will drive the term "viral, 1000/60/60/24/7/365". Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be cutting-edge? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our cutting-edge, B2B e-commerce but our power to aggregate. If you redefine nano-holistically, you may have to aggregate cyber-efficiently. Do you have a plan to become web-enabled, extensible? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. What does the industry jargon "visionary" really mean? We here at Karei think we know that it is better to generate robustly than to maximize intuitively. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to evolve "intuitively"? The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. What does the term "deliverables" really mean? The user interfaces factor is resource-constrained. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be customized? We will raise our capability to facilitate without depreciating our capacity to deploy. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and SVG. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. The metrics for six-sigma obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not B2C. What does the industry jargon "collaborative" really mean? Have you ever wanted to grow your cutting-edge feature set? Without having to learn SVG? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you revolutionize iteravely, you may have to scale proactively. What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? Without media sourcing, you will lack project management. If you synergize globally, you may have to utilize virtually. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, bleeding-edge ROI metrics are forced to become turn-key. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable strategy for handling unplanned-for synergies? If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our project management but our capacity to repurpose. The capability to repurpose holistically leads to the ability to matrix intuitively.