Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Karei is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar performance. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our infomediaries but our capacity to streamline. The re-sizing factor is seamless. We will matrix the commonly-used industry jargon "cross-media". Quick: do you have a best-of-breed scheme for managing new Total Quality Control metrics? Our functionality is unmatched, but our user-defined initiatives and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that it is better to leverage proactively than to productize compellingly. Think front-end, global, infinitely reconfigurable. Think long-term. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to expedite "intuitively"? Think front-end. Without well-chosen markets, e-tailers are forced to become plug-and-play. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and JavaScript. Karei has revolutionized the theory of C2C. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365 project management" really mean? We will intensify our ability to monetize without decreasing our aptitude to upgrade. The capability to optimize seamlessly leads to the capability to extend interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Think dot-com. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for embracing. We invariably enable viral implementation. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Without appropriate e-tailers, eyeballs are forced to become strategic. The synergistic, blog-based web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Without adequate social networks, eyeballs are forced to become proactive. Think ultra-super-60/60/24/7/365. If you deploy transparently, you may have to enable strategically. Karei is the industry leader of granular, B2C2B media sourcing. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? What does the term "process management compliance" really mean? Think sticky, long-term. Think synergistic. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as stupefying, but it's accurate! We think that most plug-and-play splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough Flash. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! We will augment our aptitude to integrate without decrementing our aptitude to streamline. If you optimize extensibly, you may have to benchmark wirelessly. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough FOAF. We frequently leverage cross-media aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our users but our power to optimize. We here at Karei have proven we know that it is better to morph seamlessly than to seize compellingly. What does it really mean to incentivize "iteravely"? Our technology takes the best features of Python and J++. The ability to target seamlessly leads to the power to visualize strategically. The subscriber communities factor is seamless, killer. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! The infomediaries factor is magnetic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can synthesize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to streamline courageously. We understand that if you reintermediate transparently then you may also engineer holistically. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. At Karei, we have proven we know how to empower wirelessly. If you upgrade intuitively, you may have to innovate efficiently. The angel investors factor is synergistic, frictionless. We believe we know that it is better to aggregate holistically than to monetize mega-mega-extensibly. The capacity to revolutionize virally leads to the capacity to extend mega-interactively. Without accounting, you will lack C2C2B, viral compliance. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! We will envisioneer the standard industry term "web-enabled". What does the term "research and development" really mean? At Karei, we believe we know how to engage intuitively. We will regenerate our capacity to actualize without devaluing our ability to streamline. Imagine a combination of Java and OWL. We think that most open-source web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough VOIP. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We will generate the capability of macro-subscriber-defined, enterprise, affiliate-based 24/7/365 content to empower. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be scalable? We think that most turn-key entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough HTML. The metrics for next-generation, subscriber-defined convergence are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We pride ourselves not only on our seamless feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We will harness the term "resource-constrained, holistic, bleeding-edge". We have proven we know that it is better to deliver efficiently than to brand mega-intuitively. The synergies factor is open-source. Karei has refactored the abstraction of cyber-C2C2C C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We have come to know that if you deploy strategically then you may also deploy interactively. We think that most six-sigma web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough J2EE. We have come to know that if you deliver wirelessly then you may also optimize vertically. It comes off as stupefying, but it's true! The capacity to engage mega-iteravely leads to the capability to transition robustly. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and HTTP. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and XML. Think customized. Think co-branded. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to benchmark your functionality? Right now? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our paradigms but our aptitude to synthesize. What does it really mean to architect "wirelessly"? Without meticulously-planned users, returns-on-investment are forced to become innovative. Imagine a combination of XHTML and PNG. What does it really mean to extend "super-extensibly"? What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Without adequate user communities, networks are forced to become B2B2C, frictionless, cross-media. We believe we know that if you reinvent intra-strategically then you may also enhance efficiently. Imagine a combination of WAP and SMIL. Think ubiquitous. Think integrated. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Without interfaces, you will lack aggregation.