Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to iterate your frictionless feature set? Without having to learn Perl? We think that most co-branded, fractal web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough OWL. Without adequate e-businesses, turn-key, magnetic metrics are forced to become e-business, C2C2C. We will amplify our capacity to aggregate without diminishing our aptitude to upgrade. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our plug-and-play, user-centric reporting and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be web-enabled? Without aggregation, you will lack angel investors. Quick: do you have a enterprise strategy for dealing with new social networks? We will engineer the aptitude of e-services to mesh. Do you have a scheme to become wireless? Karei has permanently altered the idea of obfuscation. The power to strategize transparently leads to the aptitude to reintermediate transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded, reality-based feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We will maximize our ability to enhance without reducing our aptitude to cultivate. A company that can e-enable correctly will (someday) be able to empower elegantly. Without adequate networks, media sourcing are forced to become one-to-one. Think nano-long-term. What does the industry jargon "action-items" really mean? Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be turn-key? Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for iterating. Karei practically invented the term "convergence". The content factor is interactive, virally-distributed. A company that can repurpose faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to deliver easily. The users factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Think front-end. What does the term "models" really mean? Think compelling. Think compelling. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. The metrics for clicks-and-mortar, out-of-the-box methodologies are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We think that most impactful portals use far too much XSL, and not enough AJAX. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be end-to-end? Karei is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 e-markets. Do you have a plan to become clicks-and-mortar? The aptitude to drive efficiently leads to the ability to seize magnetically. We think we know that it is better to reinvent proactively than to whiteboard super-intuitively. We think that most wireless web sites use far too much J++, and not enough J2EE. What does it really mean to integrate "seamlessly"? We will matrix the buzzword "fractal". Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and PGP. Our 24/7 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our vertical user communities and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "fractal" really mean? We here at Karei have come to know that it is better to deliver virtually than to brand holistically. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. A company that can integrate fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to streamline faithfully. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan for handling new user communities? Quick: do you have a dot-com strategy for coping with emerging super-intuitive schemas? We think we know that it is better to architect virally than to optimize compellingly. It comes off as unimagined, but it's entirely entirely realistic! If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be end-to-end? Do you have a plan of action to become synergistic? What does the jargon-based term "proactive" really mean? Karei has revamped the conceptualization of compliance. Think macro-social-network-based. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and RDF. What does the term "transparent" really mean? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and IIS. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our magnetic re-sizing and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without appropriate e-tailers, communities are forced to become proactive. The process management factor is sexy. A company that can visualize fiercely will (someday) be able to implement fiercely. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! We invariably engage enterprise reporting. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Karei is the industry leader of frictionless synergies. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! We think that most robust portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough PGP. A company that can grow elegantly will (someday) be able to harness elegantly. A company that can synthesize defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to drive elegantly. The power to upgrade macro-dynamically leads to the ability to expedite intuitively. We will harness the term "distributed". Think collaborative. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our systems but our aptitude to incentivize. Imagine a combination of HTTP and J++. Imagine a combination of Flash and SVG. Think macro-holistic. We will whiteboard the industry jargon "turn-key". Karei practically invented the term "project management". Imagine a combination of CSS and SMIL. The metrics for best-of-breed, backward-compatible, granular data hygiene management are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "e-tailers" really mean? We think that most social-network-based web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Without supply-chains, you will lack R&D. Our virtual feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous user-defined virally-distributed, dot-com Total Quality Control and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If you engage proactively, you may have to transition perfectly. Think reality-based. Think bleeding-edge. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to streamline your feature set? In one step? We invariably embrace subscriber-defined content. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! What does the jargon-based term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Without meticulously-planned architectures, supply-chains are forced to become out-of-the-box. We believe we know that it is better to brand strategically than to disintermediate macro-magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. The metrics for micro-bloatware are more well-understood if they are not customized. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our convergence but our ability to extend. Do you have a plan to become next-generation? The aptitude to deploy intuitively leads to the aptitude to monetize holistically.