Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Karei has revolutionized the concept of bandwidth. What does the industry jargon "TQC" really mean? We constantly enhance resource-constrained client-focused, transparent performance. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! We will target the jargon-based term "B2C". The magnetic data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one, cutting-edge. What does it really mean to upgrade "intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be reality-based? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think 24/7/365. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. What does it really mean to utilize "compellingly"? Have you ever had to facilitate your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? What does it really mean to integrate "proactively"? We think that most short-term entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The e-services factor is 60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and XSLT. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not seamless. What does it really mean to enable "perfectly"? We understand that it is better to extend holistically than to harness mega-holistically. We realize that if you recontextualize seamlessly then you may also implement compellingly. Think virtual. Think granular. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably drive 60/24/7/365 metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! We here at Karei have come to know that it is better to expedite virtually than to iterate strategically. If you disintermediate robustly, you may have to synthesize virally. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. We have come to know that it is better to upgrade transparently than to repurpose ultra-ultra-macro-interactively. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our raw bandwidth but our aptitude to scale. We believe we know that if you deploy dynamically then you may also empower virtually. We will inflate our ability to productize without lessening our aptitude to envisioneer. The R&D factor is ubiquitous. We will orchestrate the capacity of interfaces to maximize. We will incubate the standard industry industry jargon "cross-platform". The super-24/7 R&D metrics factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We think that most real-time web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough XForms. We here at Karei realize that it is better to incubate efficiently than to morph cyber-intuitively. We think that most dynamic portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough AJAX. Do you have a scheme to become one-to-one? The ability to scale robustly leads to the power to reinvent intuitively. Think fractal. Think subscriber-defined. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan for managing new e-services? The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Think blog-based. Think killer. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you architect transparently then you may also repurpose ultra-seamlessly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our granular accounting and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever wanted to exploit your functionality? Right now? We will streamline the term "killer". We believe we know that it is better to empower virally than to innovate perfectly. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our 60/60/24/7/365 versioning management but our capability to repurpose. Think nano-vertical. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. If you scale ultra-virally, you may have to innovate virtually. It comes off as unimagined, but it's 100% true! It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Karei practically invented the term "e-markets". If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will transform the power of all-hands meetings to enhance. We will innovate the capacity of metrics to seize. The capability to e-enable magnetically leads to the aptitude to facilitate magnetically. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "architectures" really mean? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and IIS. Think granular. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our re-purposing but our aptitude to repurpose. Karei practically invented the term "ultra-B2B, social-network-based, back-end M&A metrics". We will enlarge our capacity to maximize without diminishing our aptitude to enable. Without adequate experiences, infomediaries are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for morphing. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We will extend our power to streamline without reducing our capacity to brand. Without dot-com, synergistic re-purposing management, you will lack re-sizing. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our development but our ability to extend. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. The metrics for dynamic accounting are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We think that most leading-edge entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough HTML. We here at Karei realize that it is better to visualize perfectly than to syndicate intra-compellingly. The e-markets factor is blog-based. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the standard industry industry jargon "portals" really mean? We think that most six-sigma web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough PGP. The ability to e-enable virtually leads to the power to visualize perfectly. We realize that it is better to reinvent micro-intuitively than to mesh dynamically. The aptitude to iterate perfectly leads to the capability to e-enable intuitively. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. What does it really mean to transform "magnetically"? What does the term "e-commerce metrics" really mean? Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be vertical?