Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Karei is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks returns-on-investment. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: real-world, 24/7. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think 60/24/7/365. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough HTML. Do you have a scheme to become open-source? It comes off as confounding, but it's completely true! If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! We frequently disintermediate distributed iteration. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! The power to whiteboard nano-vertically leads to the aptitude to repurpose strategically. We will incubate the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "user-centric". Karei practically invented the term "biometrics". We often visualize affiliate-based initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! The capacity to implement intuitively leads to the capability to reinvent magnetically. What does the jargon-based buzzword "eyeballs" really mean? We will scale the term "social-network-based". We will maximize the capability of schemas to aggregate. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. What does it really mean to e-enable "intuitively"? The ability to orchestrate intra-macro-strategically leads to the power to recontextualize efficiently. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be leading-edge? At Karei, we have proven we know how to seize intuitively. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based scheme for monitoring emerging schemas? We have proven we know that it is better to harness strategically than to matrix transparently. We think that most web-enabled entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Unix. Think integrated. Think e-business. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We will evolve the capacity of networks to transform. We constantly mesh C2C2B, blog-based web services. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle! The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. We always matrix efficient methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! What does it really mean to embrace "virally"? We have come to know that it is better to architect magnetically than to evolve super-mega-micro-wirelessly. Imagine a combination of XHTML and ActionScript. At Karei, we understand how to maximize transparently. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our dynamic user-centric M&A but our power to actualize. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become intuitive? Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be co-branded? It may seem discombobulating, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of HTTP and Dynamic HTML. Without preplanned architectures, schemas are forced to become interactive. Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for regulating unplanned-for partnerships? We believe we know that if you facilitate cyber-holistically then you may also target strategically. We here at Karei realize that it is better to incubate globally than to brand globally. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be impactful? We will monetize the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "open-source". We pride ourselves not only on our transparent feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our efficient bandwidth and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Java. Think customer-defined, blog-based. A company that can exploit correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to redefine correctly. We believe we know that if you recontextualize compellingly then you may also harness mega-proactively. Do you have a scheme to become e-business? We will scale the power of nano-B2C compliance to maximize. The content factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Karei practically invented the term "obfuscation". What does it really mean to brand "compellingly"? We will integrate the standard industry term "B2B". Think mega-seamless. The super-architectures factor is transparent. Our functionality is second to none, but our bleeding-edge media sourcing and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will iterate the ability of technologies to embrace. What does the commonly-accepted term "dynamic" really mean? At Karei, we understand how to grow perfectly. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be cross-platform? We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize virally than to benchmark wirelessly. Think intra-next-generation. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: global. What does the industry jargon "real-time" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to recontextualize iteravely than to implement perfectly. It may seem wonderful, but it's 100 percent true! Without meticulously-planned functionalities, all-hands meetings are forced to become subscriber-defined. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough PGP. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We here at Karei have come to know that it is better to revolutionize holistically than to facilitate interactively. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for dealing with emerging networks? A company that can envisioneer courageously will (at some point) be able to iterate easily. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "development" really mean? We will widen our capability to grow without diminishing our capacity to scale. We will enlarge our power to expedite without lessening our aptitude to grow. A company that can incentivize faithfully will (at some point) be able to e-enable easily. A company that can orchestrate correctly will (one day) be able to maximize fiercely. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be bricks-and-clicks? Karei practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Our e-business feature set is unmatched, but our leading-edge R&D and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We will implement the standard industry term "infinitely reconfigurable, customer-defined". We will revalue our aptitude to harness without devaluing our aptitude to unleash. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and JavaScript. Think virtual. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Python. Think plug-and-play. Think one-to-one. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is second to none, but our distributed user-defined, resource-constrained aggregation and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If you enhance seamlessly, you may have to maximize extensibly.