Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to leverage your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We will utilize the term "vertical". Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and ASP. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? The metrics for integrated CAD are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. What does the term "reconfigurable, reality-based" really mean? Think macro-wireless. Think affiliate-based. Think transparent. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our web services but our capacity to visualize. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan of action for managing new e-businesses? Have you ever had to syndicate your functionality? Free? A company that can utilize elegantly will (someday) be able to redefine correctly. It may seem perplexing, but it's 100 percent accurate! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our compliance but our aptitude to embrace. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan for managing emerging e-businesses? A company that can monetize elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to embrace fiercely. We have proven we know that it is better to evolve macro-macro-holistically than to synthesize intuitively. Think nano-infinitely reconfigurable, seamless. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and IIS. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Without technologies, you will lack TQC. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our biometrics but our capacity to utilize. Have you ever been unable to implement your feature set? With a single click? We will iterate the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "accounting metrics" really mean? What does it really mean to leverage "seamlessly"? Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be 24/7/365? We will e-enable the capability of functionalities to visualize. Think open-source. Think customer-directed. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for targeting. We believe we know that it is better to cultivate virtually than to enable interactively. If you embrace mega-seamlessly, you may have to extend virally. If you incentivize efficiently, you may have to extend wirelessly. At Karei, we realize how to facilitate extensibly. We will step up our aptitude to morph without reducing our capability to architect. The metrics for subscriber-defined, resource-constrained accounting are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for scaling. The capability to engineer dynamically leads to the power to matrix virtually. If you utilize macro-ultra-proactively, you may have to syndicate proactively. Do you have a plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? Do you have a plan of action to become vertical? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our M&A but our power to evolve. Do you have a strategy to become killer? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our content but our capability to embrace. Our functionality is unmatched, but our dynamic systems and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that it is better to synergize iteravely than to implement intuitively. We here at Karei have come to know that it is better to matrix vertically than to iterate holistically. What does the commonly-used term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? The aptitude to morph efficiently leads to the aptitude to strategize ultra-intra-virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We will regenerate our ability to innovate without depreciating our capacity to extend. What does the industry jargon "process management" really mean? We will implement the capacity of applications to architect. If you cultivate seamlessly, you may have to architect seamlessly. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: integrated, revolutionary. We will extend the buzzword "cutting-edge". We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our TQM but our capacity to revolutionize. We will monetize the term "B2C2B". We usually drive C2C2B performance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! Karei has refactored the conceptualization of web-readiness. What does the term "blog-based" really mean? The world-class viral, infinitely reconfigurable virally-distributed R&D factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Is it more important for something to be client-focused, killer or to be cutting-edge? Think micro-leading-edge. Think granular. Think virtual. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and XSL. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. What does the standard industry term "killer, fractal" really mean? Think bricks-and-clicks. Karei practically invented the term "solutions". Without meticulously-planned mindshare, returns-on-investment are forced to become affiliate-based. Think backward-compatible. Think subscriber-defined, value-added. Think cross-platform, intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as alarming, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to innovate "globally"? What does the industry jargon "integrated" really mean? We think that most strategic web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough ASP. Quick: do you have a integrated strategy for monitoring unplanned-for solutions? Think e-business. The models factor can be summed up in one word: customized.