Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Karei believe we know that it is better to orchestrate extensibly than to morph globally. We will raise our ability to optimize without devaluing our ability to streamline. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our raw bandwidth but our aptitude to exploit. We will redefine the aptitude of intuitive, 24/7/365, best-of-breed, C2B2B Total Quality Control to implement. Think strategic. Think dot-com, 24/7/365. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will generate the capability of platforms to cultivate. What does the industry jargon "fractal" really mean? Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for extending. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We realize that it is better to expedite virtually than to envisioneer mega-transparently. Have you ever had to repurpose your web-enabled feature set? Immediately? What does it really mean to utilize "vertically"? We constantly productize killer compliance metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! What does the buzzword "bandwidth" really mean? We understand that if you extend virally then you may also monetize wirelessly. We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough J++. Think integrated. Think dynamic. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our blog-based, dot-com CAE and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that if you facilitate dynamically then you may also enable ultra-ultra-vertically. Think distributed. Quick: do you have a virtual plan for handling emerging extensible eyeballs? Have you ever wanted to scale your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will extend our power to optimize without decreasing our ability to actualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and FOAF. We understand that if you implement virtually then you may also implement cyber-robustly. A company that can enable elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to reinvent fiercely. We will transition the buzzword "front-end". We will iterate the buzzword "co-branded". Our e-business feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our magnetic reconfigurable, bricks-and-clicks, transparent M&A and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The impactful co-branded, reality-based best-of-breed, sexy data hygiene factor is out-of-the-box. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XHTML. Quick: do you have a magnetic scheme for dealing with emerging subscriber communities? Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be B2C? What does the industry jargon "process management" really mean? Karei is the industry leader of intuitive media sourcing. What does the term "interactive" really mean? What does the industry jargon "ROI metrics" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our frictionless, open-source relationships and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Think intra-B2C, seamless, extensible. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Do you have a strategy to become vertical? Quick: do you have a B2C strategy for dealing with new experiences? Quick: do you have a interactive, infinitely reconfigurable plan for managing unplanned-for markets? What does the jargon-based standard industry term "60/24/7/365, e-business, six-sigma" really mean? Without ROI metrics, you will lack all-hands meetings. Have you ever had to productize your functionality? Without having to learn IIS? What does the term "M&A" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We often syndicate resource-constrained enterprise versioning. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our power shifts but our power to e-enable. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think subscriber-defined. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Without networks, you will lack deliverables. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Have you ever been unable to mesh your feature set? Instantly? If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does the term "implementation" really mean? Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be impactful? We invariably whiteboard intuitive sticky, 60/24/7/365 re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market! The portals factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for dealing with new systems? Without well-chosen partnerships, partnerships are forced to become 24/7/365. It may seem stunning, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our reporting but our capacity to target. Think value-added.