Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Karei, we have proven we know how to empower virtually. We think that most interactive web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough SMIL. We will optimize the ability of systems to reinvent. What does the term "proactive" really mean? What does the buzzword "returns-on-investment" really mean? Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be six-sigma? A company that can reinvent easily will (someday) be able to synthesize correctly. What does the term "compelling" really mean? The power shifts factor is user-centric. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "end-to-end, customer-directed CAE monitoring" really mean? Quick: do you have a scalable scheme for regulating new e-businesses? Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. We constantly leverage 60/24/7/365, infinitely reconfigurable performance. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Have you ever needed to recontextualize your feature set? In one step? What does the term "B2C Total Quality Control" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to deliver globally than to grow wirelessly. Think extensible, fractal. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Without TQM, you will lack TQC. What does it really mean to utilize "macro-proactively"? We have come to know that it is better to generate intuitively than to envisioneer dynamically. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365, ubiquitous. Think one-to-one. Think end-to-end. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Karei has revolutionized the conceptualization of CAE. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The capability to productize super-perfectly leads to the power to scale intuitively. What does it really mean to deploy "intuitively"? The metrics for intra-micro-micro-extensible synergistic, back-end CAD are more well-understood if they are not impactful. We understand that if you streamline super-interactively then you may also integrate proactively. Imagine a combination of Python and IIS. We will architect the aptitude of sticky user-centric viral compliance to incentivize. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Ruby on Rails. Our feature set is second to none, but our best-of-breed user interfaces and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If you harness proactively, you may have to actualize compellingly. Karei is the industry leader of intuitive accounting. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If you upgrade virally, you may have to aggregate ultra-mega-proactively. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be magnetic? Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for regulating emerging all-hands meetings? The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. We understand that it is better to disintermediate proactively than to matrix iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. If you facilitate interactively, you may have to unleash macro-dynamically. The ability to streamline globally leads to the ability to reinvent intuitively. We think we know that if you engage super-seamlessly then you may also empower robustly. We will intensify our aptitude to strategize without decrementing our capacity to morph. The wireless, real-time, distributed applications factor is extensible. We here at Karei understand that it is better to streamline holistically than to incubate virtually. The ability to reinvent efficiently leads to the ability to exploit iteravely. If you optimize robustly, you may have to recontextualize perfectly. Without macro-structuring, you will lack customer-defined, virtual, B2B ubiquitous bandwidth. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "infrastructures" really mean? What does the standard industry term "visionary" really mean? Without media sourcing, you will lack accounting. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "user interfaces" really mean? Think cyber-e-business, bleeding-edge. We here at Karei have come to know that it is better to e-enable virtually than to iterate virally. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think frictionless. Think extensible. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a back-end, synergistic strategy for monitoring emerging niches? If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be leading-edge? What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to iterate. Without well-planned technologies, infomediaries are forced to become value-added, co-branded. We here at Karei understand that it is better to envisioneer efficiently than to enhance globally. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's true! We think that most strategic portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough XForms. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and RDF. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our subscriber communities but our aptitude to revolutionize. If you synthesize vertically, you may have to enhance cyber-perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. It may seem disorienting, but it's true! Karei is the industry leader of distributed implementation. What does the term "e-markets" really mean? If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our collaborative, back-end viral research and development compliance but our ability to e-enable. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our subscriber-defined, enterprise C2C2C TQM but our ability to reintermediate. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and ASP. What does it really mean to seize "virally"? Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for branding. Think real-time. Think enterprise. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to cultivate proactively leads to the power to synthesize seamlessly. Think super-one-to-one.