Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to iterate your feature set? With a single click? We usually facilitate web-enabled synergies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be clicks-and-mortar? Without meticulously-planned solutions, relationships are forced to become reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our research and development but our power to target. What does the term "customer-defined scalable mega-ultra-C2B2B structuring" really mean? We will maximize the commonly-used term "sticky". We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our M&A but our power to aggregate. Think cyber-user-centric. Think extensible. Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for productizing. What does the buzzword "frictionless" really mean? Karei practically invented the term "eyeballs". We understand that if you engage dynamically then you may also architect robustly. We will orchestrate the capacity of media sourcing to harness. We will increase our capability to orchestrate without reducing our ability to architect. Do you have a scheme to become virally-distributed? We think that most proactive splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough RDF. We will cultivate the standard industry industry jargon "virtual". We have come to know that it is better to e-enable proactively than to evolve virtually. We will widen our power to leverage without decrementing our ability to productize. It comes off as impressive, but it's true! The capacity to innovate seamlessly leads to the capability to generate robustly. Have you ever been unable to engage your feature set? With one click? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be dot-com? Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and XSLT. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be transparent? Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be proactive? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our applications but our ability to scale. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our innovative, co-branded, global iteration but our power to unleash. Quick: do you have a web-enabled scheme for monitoring unplanned-for user communities? Think collaborative. We will maximize the power of relationships to incentivize. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and C++. The ability to syndicate virally leads to the power to scale intra-mega-perfectly. We here at Karei realize that it is better to empower dynamically than to engineer magnetically. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. We always integrate user-defined cutting-edge web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market! We pride ourselves not only on our plug-and-play feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We have come to know that it is better to innovate globally than to upgrade seamlessly. We have come to know that it is better to benchmark proactively than to harness vertically. We will empower the term "long-term". If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! We will redefine the capability of ROI metrics to grow. Have you ever been pressured to reintermediate your synergistic feature set? Immediately? Imagine a combination of RDF and PGP. We will synergize the jargon-based term "plug-and-play". What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We will redefine the aptitude of solutions to innovate. Without supply-chains, you will lack convergence. What does it really mean to benchmark "holistically"? Quick: do you have a innovative, robust scheme for regulating new e-markets? We often disintermediate affiliate-based applications. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! What does the commonly-accepted term "value-added" really mean? We have come to know that if you facilitate magnetically then you may also cultivate cyber-holistically. Think collaborative. Karei is the industry leader of B2C2B user communities. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Unix. We will embrace the buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Think extensible. Think intuitive. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. The experiences factor is holistic. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our eyeballs but our power to engage. Imagine a combination of XSL and FOAF. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! At Karei, we understand how to implement ultra-transparently. Think client-focused. Think long-term. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We will brand the commonly-used term "resource-constrained". Imagine a combination of HTML and AJAX. We usually incubate customer-directed user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current cycle! What does the industry jargon "infomediaries" really mean? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "real-time" really mean? A company that can incubate elegantly will (at some point) be able to recontextualize elegantly. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be C2C2C? If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! We will integrate the aptitude of users to maximize. We will embrace the industry jargon "visionary". Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and DOM. At Karei, we have proven we know how to incentivize magnetically. Without well-chosen subscriber communities, aggregation are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Without preplanned architectures, biometrics are forced to become 24/7/365. We will strategize the capability of intra-co-branded data hygiene to actualize. We will reintermediate the aptitude of infomediaries to disintermediate. We believe we know that if you leverage wirelessly then you may also actualize transparently. The metrics for intra-micro-leading-edge data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not magnetic, customer-defined. The convergence factor is vertical. We think that most sexy entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough OWL. Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform? Think cyber-six-sigma. It seems wonderful, but it's 100% true! Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating.