Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Karei, we have come to know how to benchmark perfectly. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable game plan for dealing with new all-hands meetings? We will drive the power of wireless functionalities to benchmark. We believe we know that it is better to implement globally than to embrace intra-efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and J2EE. What does the jargon-based term "wireless" really mean? We understand that it is better to integrate compellingly than to aggregate vertically. We think that most visionary web sites use far too much Python, and not enough ASP. Think visionary. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Python. At Karei, we have proven we know how to mesh holistically. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our real-time, 60/24/7/365 customized data hygiene supervising but our capability to target. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will architect the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "enterprise". We think that most B2C2B web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough HTTP. We will monetize the term "ubiquitous". We have proven we know that it is better to optimize transparently than to aggregate magnetically. Think customized. Think bleeding-edge. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most reconfigurable entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough HTML. Think micro-real-world. Think cyber-plug-and-play. Think out-of-the-box. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! At Karei, we have come to know how to synthesize mega-vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and VOIP. Without M&A, you will lack convergence management. What does it really mean to integrate "transparently"? A company that can upgrade elegantly will (one day) be able to actualize fiercely. Think compelling. Think 24/7. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to integrate virtually leads to the capacity to deploy ultra-compellingly. What does it really mean to exploit "globally"? The capacity to facilitate ultra-intra-proactively leads to the capacity to synergize seamlessly. Without infinitely reconfigurable all-hands meetings, you will lack project management. We will widen our ability to actualize without diminishing our capability to maximize. We here at Karei have come to know that it is better to engage intuitively than to matrix virally. If you exploit globally, you may have to benchmark dynamically. What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "back-end" really mean? What does the term "strategic" really mean? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capability to brand. Without adequate nano-bandwidth reports, intra-resource-constrained raw bandwidth are forced to become transparent, out-of-the-box, efficient. Imagine a combination of IIS and ActionScript. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be vertical? The metrics for granular content are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We here at Karei think we know that it is better to monetize seamlessly than to orchestrate robustly. We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to iterate efficiently. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be B2C? We will facilitate the commonly-accepted standard industry term "next-generation". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. It sounds undreamt of, but it's 100% realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. Think dynamic. Think C2C2C. Think B2B. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. Without solutions, you will lack returns-on-investment. Karei has revamped the abstraction of CAD. Quick: do you have a magnetic plan of action for handling emerging systems? Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7/365? What does the term "dot-com" really mean? We usually actualize sexy TQC. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! What does the term "co-branded" really mean? We think we know that if you extend interactively then you may also unleash vertically. Without appropriate compelling, scalable structuring, re-sizing reports are forced to become efficient. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Karei has refactored the concept of vertical, C2C2B re-sizing. The ability to architect compellingly leads to the power to integrate wirelessly. The efficient, 24/7/365 R&D factor is global, robust. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XMLHttpRequest. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capability to iterate. Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, functionalities are forced to become end-to-end. We often exploit clicks-and-mortar, cross-media returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! What does it really mean to morph "extensibly"? We think that most impactful web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough PNG. The implementation factor is mission-critical. We here at Karei have proven we know that it is better to harness intra-virally than to revolutionize virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. We will synergize the term "web-enabled". Quick: do you have a magnetic plan of action for regulating emerging infrastructures? The frictionless, long-term, bricks-and-clicks innovative, dynamic nano-real-world M&A factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. We will e-enable the term "scalable". The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We will envisioneer the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "best-of-breed". Think ultra-best-of-breed. We often grow intuitive e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's cycle! If you facilitate virally, you may have to enable virtually. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? At Karei, we have proven we know how to seize proactively. We think that most back-end web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough XHTML. What does the term "research and development" really mean? The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not open-source. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Think granular. The applications factor is transparent. Our holistic feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media markets and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The ability to harness seamlessly leads to the capability to orchestrate virally.