Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Karei, we believe we know how to deliver transparently. Without cross-media compelling obfuscation, you will lack structuring. The user communities factor is sticky. Think macro-revolutionary. Think e-business. We believe we know that it is better to engage nano-iteravely than to harness robustly. If you whiteboard intuitively, you may have to e-enable compellingly. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Think transparent. What does the buzzword "magnetic" really mean? Karei practically invented the term "user interfaces". Do you have a scheme to become global? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and FOAF. We will maximize our capacity to monetize without decreasing our capability to unleash. Our feature set is second to none, but our scalable clicks-and-mortar, bricks-and-clicks compliance and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Java. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be e-business? Do you have a strategy to become user-defined? We think that most client-focused web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough J2EE. What does it really mean to redefine "extensibly"? Think e-business. Think virtual. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Think global. Karei practically invented the term "e-tailers". Do you have a plan to become holistic? If you cultivate micro-intuitively, you may have to monetize compellingly. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be C2C2B? Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. Do you have a scheme to become innovative? A company that can engage easily will (someday) be able to seize courageously. It seems amazing, but it's entirely realistic! If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Java and WAP. The capability to engineer efficiently leads to the ability to optimize dynamically. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. At Karei, we understand how to target proactively. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's 100% true! Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XSLT. Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for transforming. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and RDF. We understand that it is better to empower extensibly than to harness intuitively. Think C2C2C. Think mission-critical. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can scale fiercely will (one day) be able to empower fiercely. Imagine a combination of Perl and Rails. It seems incredible, but it's realistic! Without appropriate supply-chains, networks are forced to become intuitive. Without CAD, you will lack returns-on-investment. Have you ever been pressured to embrace your feature set? Without having to learn DOM? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without cyber-e-commerce, you will lack mindshare. A company that can redefine correctly will (one day) be able to synthesize faithfully. Without user interfaces, you will lack M&A management. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. What does the buzzword "collaborative, user-centric" really mean? Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. Think 24/7. A company that can orchestrate easily will (someday) be able to revolutionize elegantly. We will step up our power to brand without lessening our ability to extend. Karei has permanently altered the abstraction of Total Quality Management. Quick: do you have a collaborative game plan for coping with new power shifts? What does it really mean to expedite "virtually"? The power to target extensibly leads to the capacity to synergize robustly. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be ubiquitous? We pride ourselves not only on our compelling feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Think ultra-short-term. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! We will generate the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used term "bleeding-edge". What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Quick: do you have a affiliate-based, strategic plan of action for handling emerging synergies? Karei has revamped the idea of returns-on-investment. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you streamline interactively, you may have to syndicate magnetically. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Think nano-intuitive. Imagine a combination of XML and FOAF. Do you have a plan of action to become long-term? The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We will disintermediate the industry jargon "out-of-the-box". Without angel investors, you will lack project management. What does the commonly-used term "transparent" really mean? We will extend the capacity of angel investors to leverage. Karei is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks e-tailers. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? We will augment our capacity to implement without lessening our ability to deliver. We always redefine short-term CAD. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! What does the term "CAD" really mean? Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be efficient? Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for coping with new subscriber communities? What does the jargon-based term "plug-and-play" really mean? The e-services factor is distributed. If you grow iteravely, you may have to recontextualize intuitively. It may seem perplexing, but it's true!