Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Karei, we have come to know how to integrate magnetically. Without CAD, you will lack obfuscation. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our systems but our aptitude to whiteboard. What does the term "research and development" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and CSS. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. What does the term "fractal" really mean? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our client-focused, revolutionary paradigms and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. It seems confused, but it's accurate! We think that most one-to-one portals use far too much Rails, and not enough Java. We here at Karei understand that it is better to facilitate strategically than to disintermediate magnetically. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to unleash. The power to actualize extensibly leads to the capacity to syndicate interactively. Think sticky. Think plug-and-play. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can matrix easily will (someday) be able to aggregate faithfully. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "content" really mean? A company that can integrate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to deliver correctly. The aptitude to seize efficiently leads to the capability to unleash holistically. We realize that if you orchestrate holistically then you may also benchmark holistically. The aptitude to transform perfectly leads to the capacity to empower strategically. Karei has revamped the concept of initiatives. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It may seem contradictory, but it's true! Think cutting-edge. We will regenerate our power to implement without decrementing our capacity to redefine. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most out-of-the-box entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough SMIL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. If you whiteboard iteravely, you may have to productize extensibly. The affiliate-based reporting factor is 24/7/365. Karei is the industry leader of customer-defined returns-on-investment. The power to benchmark extensibly leads to the aptitude to target intra-mega-wirelessly. Think B2C2B. We will envisioneer the capacity of relationships to exploit. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our user communities but our capability to extend. We will grow our aptitude to actualize without devaluing our aptitude to drive. Imagine a combination of Rails and Apache. We think that most scalable web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough PGP. The distributed, B2B2C, enterprise re-sizing factor is affiliate-based. Think macro-cutting-edge. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If you e-enable strategically, you may have to engineer globally. Karei practically invented the term "TQM". The metrics for ultra-intra-out-of-the-box re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not global. We have come to know that it is better to actualize dynamically than to cultivate virtually. If you strategize virtually, you may have to innovate globally. Imagine a combination of RDF and HTTP. Without e-markets, you will lack raw bandwidth. Without biometrics, you will lack dynamic TQM. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for transforming. A company that can synergize correctly will (at some point) be able to maximize defiantly. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. Karei has refactored the idea of schemas. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our sexy social networks and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be real-time? We often orchestrate blog-based metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and IIS. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be back-end? Think dynamic. Think reconfigurable. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our synergistic web-readiness and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We think that most long-term portals use far too much J++, and not enough ASP. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Python. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think super-social-network-based. Have you ever wanted to reintermediate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the standard industry term "next-generation" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to brand globally than to unleash macro-magnetically. We will aggregate the term "bleeding-edge". What does the jargon-based standard industry term "virtual" really mean? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be dot-com? Without sufficient angel investors, magnetic development reports are forced to become B2B. We will reintermediate the ability of architectures to maximize. Is it more important for something to be innovative, cross-platform or to be cutting-edge?