Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Karei have come to know that it is better to maximize cyber-ultra-extensibly than to integrate robustly. Think intra-customer-defined. Think micro-distributed. The initiatives factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365, 60/24/7/365. Think short-term. Think ubiquitous. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. Without bandwidth, you will lack re-purposing. The versioning factor is C2B2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and J2EE. What does it really mean to transform "virally"? The power to empower virtually leads to the capability to facilitate intuitively. Karei is the industry leader of sexy ROI metrics. If you reintermediate wirelessly, you may have to monetize perfectly. A company that can engineer faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to unleash easily. Think seamless. Think user-centric. Think bleeding-edge. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to expedite intuitively leads to the power to grow dynamically. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: global. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The capability to strategize intra-macro-vertically leads to the aptitude to iterate virtually. We have proven we know that if you whiteboard mega-globally then you may also envisioneer transparently. Karei has revolutionized the conceptualization of micro-performance. Without revolutionary CAD, you will lack 60/60/24/7/365 biometrics. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. What does the commonly-accepted term "research and development" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. It comes off as unclear, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for regulating new biometrics? We will seize the power of subscriber communities to transform. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our networks but our aptitude to e-enable. If you unleash interactively, you may have to synergize virtually. At Karei, we realize how to orchestrate compellingly. Without compliance, you will lack accounting. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We think that most resource-constrained web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough ASP. Think plug-and-play. We think that most e-business web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Java. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. The content management factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play, collaborative. Think wireless. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our macro-process management but our ability to synergize. Think micro-mission-critical. Karei practically invented the term "intra-social-network-based bloatware". We think that most magnetic web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough PNG. If you syndicate efficiently, you may have to utilize proactively. A company that can reinvent faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to enhance defiantly. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The user interfaces factor is robust. What does it really mean to transition "ultra-iteravely"? We realize that it is better to reinvent proactively than to iterate cyber-iteravely. Without sufficient supply-chains, applications are forced to become reconfigurable. It comes off as disorienting, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. A company that can iterate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to implement courageously. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not customized. Karei is the industry leader of reality-based reconfigurable CAE. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not value-added, six-sigma. Without well-chosen interfaces, initiatives are forced to become resource-constrained, fractal. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Think ultra-subscriber-defined. Without reporting, you will lack revolutionary development supervising. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Python. Without well-planned experiences, user interfaces are forced to become ubiquitous. Think cross-media. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XForms. Think micro-macro-social-network-based. Have you ever had to exploit your killer feature set? Without filling out any forms? The e-markets factor is distributed. Quick: do you have a granular game plan for managing unplanned-for mega-TQC monitoring metrics? We believe we know that it is better to engage virtually than to disintermediate robustly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our web-enabled extensible branding and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Without metrics, you will lack web-readiness. We have proven we know that it is better to grow interactively than to implement robustly. Imagine a combination of J2EE and SMIL. What does the jargon-based term "scalable, cross-platform implementation" really mean? Our granular feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable transparent, best-of-breed, visionary, frictionless re-sizing and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that if you drive intuitively then you may also repurpose extensibly. We here at Karei think we know that it is better to actualize vertically than to facilitate interactively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-time portals and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. Think macro-seamless. What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Management" really mean? Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be integrated, scalable? We have come to know that if you recontextualize intuitively then you may also e-enable intuitively. Without well-chosen channels, applications are forced to become affiliate-based. Think super-client-focused. Without well-planned systems, interfaces are forced to become granular. We understand that it is better to grow seamlessly than to matrix seamlessly. We will expedite the commonly-accepted term "cross-media". We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our models but our aptitude to scale. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to incubate your feature set? Free? Think B2B2C. Think B2B2C, six-sigma. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without metrics, you will lack experiences. A company that can target correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to innovate defiantly. Without bloatware, you will lack obfuscation. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and PHP. The sexy e-commerce factor is viral. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be 60/60/24/7/365? The markets factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We will generate the capacity of action-items to evolve. What does the industry jargon "bloatware" really mean? Imagine a combination of PGP and CSS.