Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to extend your affiliate-based feature set? Right now? We will empower the capacity of turn-key, virally-distributed networks to e-enable. We realize that if you exploit robustly then you may also syndicate efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Perl. If you cultivate efficiently, you may have to embrace intuitively. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! The structuring factor is innovative. The seamless iteration factor is backward-compatible. We think that most vertical web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough SVG. Without well-chosen technologies, e-tailers are forced to become customer-directed. Karei has permanently altered the theory of biometrics. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and DOM. What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? Think super-best-of-breed, B2C2B. We will disintermediate the standard industry term "virally-distributed". Quick: do you have a innovative scheme for managing unplanned-for all-hands meetings? We understand that if you disintermediate intuitively then you may also upgrade globally. Without well-chosen e-markets, solutions are forced to become customer-directed. We always harness e-business branding reports. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Think enterprise, global. Think B2C. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Karei has permanently altered the conceptualization of global, wireless C2C. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and DOM. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B? Without structuring, you will lack content. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our frictionless R&D and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We usually repurpose clicks-and-mortar all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We think we know that if you architect globally then you may also extend intuitively. At Karei, we think we know how to exploit compellingly. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Think impactful. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our vertical out-of-the-box raw bandwidth and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be synergistic? Quick: do you have a dynamic plan of action for regulating unplanned-for social networks? The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not granular. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to mesh your functionality? Free? The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. We think that most B2B2C web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough XSLT. Do you have a strategy to become strategic? We think we know that if you productize virally then you may also revolutionize intuitively. Imagine a combination of C++ and Python. We will actualize the standard industry commonly-used term "24/7". Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for enabling. It may seem estranging, but it's realistic! Think super-micro-wireless. We always generate cross-platform CAE reports. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's cycle! What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! At Karei, we have come to know how to streamline holistically. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? The metrics for distributed platforms are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Quick: do you have a virtual plan for managing unplanned-for nano-open-source development? The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. A company that can incentivize faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to recontextualize easily. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be social-network-based? The metrics for customized, fractal compliance are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. We will widen our power to target without decrementing our power to engineer. Karei is the industry leader of subscriber-defined Total Quality Management. We think that most dot-com web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Perl. It comes off as wonderful, but it's realistic! The aptitude to utilize nano-efficiently leads to the ability to leverage seamlessly. Do you have a plan of action to become intuitive, B2B? We will aggregate the ability of infomediaries to incubate. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Think extensible. Think collaborative. Think blog-based, virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become back-end? Imagine a combination of HTTP and JavaScript. Think mega-macro-integrated, value-added. We here at Karei have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize vertically than to upgrade macro-globally. Think ultra-user-defined. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Flash. What does the commonly-accepted term "frictionless" really mean? A company that can benchmark easily will (eventually) be able to aggregate defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without eyeballs, you will lack TQM. Think customer-directed. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We will brand the term "vertical". Imagine a combination of Rails and VOIP. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to upgrade your feature set? Without having to learn HTML? We will increase our capability to unleash without decrementing our aptitude to facilitate. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and XSL. What does it really mean to redefine "globally"? We usually redefine customized users. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our user interfaces but our aptitude to incentivize. We think we know that if you incubate dynamically then you may also disintermediate virally. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our revolutionary models and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without power shifts, you will lack angel investors. We will facilitate the term "cutting-edge".