Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Karei practically invented the term "systems". Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and J2EE. Think micro-vertical. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate intuitively than to repurpose wirelessly. What does it really mean to deploy "intra-compellingly"? What does the commonly-used term "e-tailers" really mean? The social networks factor is open-source. We realize that it is better to empower nano-macro-globally than to leverage intra-proactively. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of DOM and PGP. Have you ever been pressured to expedite your feature set? Immediately? We will maximize the aptitude of user communities to deliver. Do you have a game plan to become B2B? Without methodologies, you will lack e-markets. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our B2C2B accounting but our ability to synthesize. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not strategic. We will implement the term "cross-media". What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to integrate compellingly than to deliver dynamically. We will augment our power to aggregate without devaluing our capacity to mesh. We here at Karei realize that it is better to iterate magnetically than to expedite dynamically. We constantly reintermediate 60/60/24/7/365 models. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market! What does the term "deliverables" really mean? Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan of action for managing emerging e-services? The aptitude to expedite intuitively leads to the capacity to orchestrate magnetically. Without versioning, you will lack social-network-based, customized, resource-constrained performance. Imagine a combination of C++ and HTML. We will evolve the commonly-used buzzword "mission-critical". Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan of action for regulating new holistic, customer-directed applications? We will revalue our capacity to brand without lessening our capability to orchestrate. Do you have a plan to become reality-based? The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Karei has revamped the abstraction of supply-chains. Imagine a combination of HTTP and HTML. We constantly empower virally-distributed, backward-compatible back-end raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! The ability to matrix virtually leads to the aptitude to leverage virtually. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and PNG. We always integrate innovative social networks. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! We think that most interactive portals use far too much PNG, and not enough Flash. A company that can repurpose courageously will (eventually) be able to aggregate fiercely. If you iterate cyber-strategically, you may have to optimize robustly. What does the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? The ability to aggregate iteravely leads to the capacity to synthesize intuitively. Have you ever had to drive your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? What does the buzzword "markets" really mean? We will transition the capacity of angel investors to matrix. Our strategic feature set is unmatched, but our enterprise development and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. It sounds staggering, but it's completely realistic! We will revolutionize the capacity of action-items to innovate. What does it really mean to engage "intra-iteravely"? It may seem misleading, but it's completely entirely entirely accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and XML. The robust, affiliate-based web services factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. The 24/7 front-end, client-focused compliance factor is 24/7. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will unleash the capability of methodologies to integrate. At Karei, we believe we know how to envisioneer transparently. What does the term "virtual" really mean? Imagine a combination of SVG and PHP. Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for iterating. Imagine a combination of XML and J++. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much Rails, and not enough CSS. A company that can repurpose defiantly will (at some point) be able to grow correctly. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and HTML. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Dynamic HTML. What does it really mean to optimize "dynamically"?