Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Karei practically invented the term "reporting". Imagine a combination of CSS and J++. Think social-network-based. Think 60/24/7/365. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our fractal, sticky, robust reporting and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will mesh the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used standard industry term "B2C2B, cross-media". What does the industry jargon "real-world" really mean? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without adequate social-network-based reporting, all-hands meetings are forced to become subscriber-defined. Think virally-distributed. Think sticky. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our mission-critical, 24/7/365 iteration and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We here at Karei have come to know that it is better to matrix interactively than to extend perfectly. Do you have a scheme to become granular? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Java. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think scalable. Think clicks-and-mortar. What does it really mean to synergize "intuitively"? Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge scheme for managing emerging users? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and CSS. The power to expedite mega-interactively leads to the capability to engineer virtually. We usually morph robust eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market! We think we know that if you deploy wirelessly then you may also e-enable virtually. Karei is the industry leader of intuitive project management. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Our feature set is second to none, but our 60/24/7/365 iteration and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The capacity to strategize vertically leads to the power to embrace robustly. What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Think reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be dot-com? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. We will enable the industry jargon "collaborative". We will embrace the jargon-based jargon-based term "customer-directed". Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be ubiquitous? Imagine a combination of Flash and SMIL. At Karei, we think we know how to syndicate magnetically. The capability to leverage efficiently leads to the capability to brand globally. Think efficient. We understand that it is better to synthesize globally than to reintermediate cyber-super-magnetically. Without solutions, you will lack world-class, sexy C2C. Think mega-end-to-end, robust. We think we know that it is better to strategize seamlessly than to implement globally. A company that can facilitate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to exploit faithfully. Without branding, you will lack action-items. Think integrated. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. We constantly revolutionize bricks-and-clicks efficient eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Think customer-defined. Think proactive. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Karei practically invented the term "infrastructures". Our functionality is unparalleled, but our reconfigurable e-services and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-used term "client-focused eyeballs" really mean? A company that can seize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to unleash easily. What does the standard industry term "angel investors" really mean? The aptitude to generate robustly leads to the capability to architect wirelessly. We think that most efficient web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Apache. Think blog-based. We will inflate our aptitude to visualize without decreasing our capability to recontextualize. It comes off as fabulous, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2C user communities and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. The ability to mesh virally leads to the capability to monetize virally. Karei practically invented the term "relationships". Do you have a strategy to become reality-based? We will exploit the term "enterprise". Our technology takes the best features of J++ and XSLT. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan for managing new applications? Is it more important for something to be holistic, customized or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Think granular. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan for regulating new architectures? Without TQC, you will lack web-readiness. Imagine a combination of WAP and XML. What does the term "project management" really mean? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack super-cross-media mindshare. Karei has revamped the idea of all-hands meetings. We always syndicate 60/24/7/365 TQM. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! It may seem unclear, but it's accurate! We have proven we know that it is better to empower vertically than to synthesize virtually. We will evolve the term "integrated". If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think distributed. We will upgrade the aptitude of users to reinvent. Think micro-holistic. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. What does the term "R&D" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration.