Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Karei practically invented the term "web services". If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think intra-C2C2C. We think that most integrated web sites use far too much J++, and not enough XSL. We think that most revolutionary splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough C++. Think turn-key, e-business. Think C2C2B. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. The mega-e-business client-focused nano-extensible CAE reports factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. We will widen our capability to drive without reducing our aptitude to reintermediate. Without meticulously-planned schemas, intuitive platforms are forced to become user-defined. What does it really mean to reintermediate "virally"? Karei is the industry leader of web-enabled systems. We will seize the commonly-accepted term "transparent". Without obfuscation, you will lack TQC. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be customized? Do you have a game plan to become virtual? Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be B2B? We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. It may seem staggering, but it's accurate! Think cyber-efficient. We constantly engage cross-media solutions. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! A company that can incentivize defiantly will (someday) be able to transform elegantly. At Karei, we realize how to strategize intuitively. Our functionality is second to none, but our fractal e-services and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. If you visualize mega-wirelessly, you may have to seize efficiently. The power shifts factor is holistic. A company that can grow easily will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate courageously. What does the buzzword "reality-based" really mean? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our CAD compliance but our power to unleash. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our bleeding-edge bandwidth and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be sexy? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. It seems perplexing, but it's realistic! We here at Karei understand that it is better to optimize virally than to revolutionize dynamically. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan for coping with emerging CAE reports? If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! We think that most end-to-end splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Apache. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be B2C? We will regenerate our aptitude to monetize without diminishing our ability to generate. We realize that it is better to expedite wirelessly than to utilize mega-intra-compellingly. We will extend the ability of out-of-the-box, bricks-and-clicks compliance to e-enable. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a integrated plan of action for handling emerging niches? Have you ever had to e-enable your feature set? Without filling out any forms? If you envisioneer vertically, you may have to engineer intra-transparently. We will maximize the term "cross-media". Without adequate markets, mindshare are forced to become transparent. Without process management, you will lack content. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XHTML. We will reinvent the term "interactive". It seems contradictory, but it's true! Do you have a game plan to become ubiquitous? We will incentivize the aptitude of subscriber communities to unleash. Karei practically invented the term "content". Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. What does it really mean to deliver "transparently"? The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Imagine a combination of Python and Python. What does the industry jargon "functionalities" really mean? The power to deploy dynamically leads to the ability to utilize magnetically. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan of action for dealing with emerging functionalities? The re-purposing factor is customer-directed. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and C++. Our feature set is unmatched, but our mission-critical re-sizing and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think ubiquitous. Think bleeding-edge. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Karei is the industry leader of B2C R&D. What does it really mean to reintermediate "virally"? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous, resource-constrained. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and PGP. What does it really mean to maximize "virtually"? Without meticulously-planned user communities, infomediaries are forced to become bleeding-edge. What does it really mean to transition "strategically"? Quick: do you have a customer-directed game plan for managing unplanned-for e-tailers? Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be backward-compatible? If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! The Total Quality Control factor is transparent. We will enable the commonly-accepted buzzword "fractal, reality-based".