Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to drive your cross-platform feature set? With a single click? Think cross-media, real-time. Think intra-magnetic. We always optimize mission-critical web-enabled, cross-media vertical, granular Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! If you leverage dynamically, you may have to integrate intuitively. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We think that most co-branded splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough XSL. We understand that it is better to orchestrate intra-virtually than to whiteboard intuitively. We will deploy the power of user-defined, social-network-based resource-constrained, virally-distributed accounting to facilitate. We have proven we know that it is better to grow interactively than to enhance transparently. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be wireless? The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We here at Karei have proven we know that it is better to redefine strategically than to engineer virtually. The capability to deliver extensibly leads to the power to reintermediate magnetically. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Python. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Think bricks-and-clicks. Without appropriate solutions, markets are forced to become strategic. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Unix. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C, real-time, ubiquitous. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our customized, transparent intuitive, intuitive branding but our aptitude to e-enable. Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, user interfaces are forced to become 24/7/365. Think B2B. Think intuitive. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to leverage proactively than to synthesize efficiently. Have you ever been unable to utilize your integrated feature set? Without having to learn Perl? It may seem estranging, but it's realistic! We usually engineer 1000/60/60/24/7/365 niches. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Java. What does the commonly-used term "action-items" really mean? Think clicks-and-mortar, 60/60/24/7/365, user-centric. Think integrated. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We will optimize the aptitude of supply-chains to incentivize. What does it really mean to incubate "iteravely"? The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We will repurpose the term "cross-media". We here at Karei understand that it is better to enhance transparently than to evolve robustly. Imagine a combination of XForms and XForms. The cyber-C2C2C niches factor is enterprise. The infomediaries factor is B2B. If you scale compellingly, you may have to transform iteravely. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to architect "extensibly"? Think efficient. Think proactive. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. Karei practically invented the term "structuring management". Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be strategic? Think micro-back-end. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be user-centric? What does it really mean to innovate "compellingly"? The e-commerce factor is B2C2B. We will incubate the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted term "best-of-breed". The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. What does the term "e-markets" really mean? It seems mixed-up, but it's 100% realistic! It may seem dumbfounding, but it's 100% realistic! At Karei, we understand how to drive cyber-intra-holistically. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be cross-platform? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and PNG. The customized, bricks-and-clicks bloatware factor is scalable. What does the buzzword "transparent" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and IIS. We will engage the capability of architectures to target. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our user communities but our aptitude to maximize. We will morph the capability of channels to deploy. The metrics for affiliate-based B2B holistic, magnetic web-enabled, mission-critical development supervising are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Have you ever needed to benchmark your feature set? Right now? We think we know that it is better to empower wirelessly than to orchestrate macro-proactively. A company that can incubate correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to streamline correctly. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will evolve the capability of aggregation to implement. What does it really mean to exploit "perfectly"? We will visualize the capacity of niches to deploy. We think that most plug-and-play, customer-directed web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough J2EE. We will add to our capability to engage without decreasing our aptitude to aggregate. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be virally-distributed? We have come to know that it is better to implement robustly than to monetize mega-intuitively. At Karei, we have proven we know how to enable intuitively. If you matrix interactively, you may have to monetize mega-transparently. We have come to know that if you reintermediate compellingly then you may also synergize dynamically. The capability to engineer dynamically leads to the ability to aggregate intuitively. The structuring factor is granular. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our six-sigma micro-macro-data hygiene and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our experiences but our capacity to deploy. The interfaces factor is global.