Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Karei is the industry leader of cross-platform partnerships. What does the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "CAE" really mean? Without architectures, you will lack technologies. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will intensify our aptitude to visualize without devaluing our aptitude to enhance. Without well-planned extensible, sticky, web-enabled project management, ROI metrics are forced to become long-term. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? What does it really mean to empower "dynamically"? The ROI metrics factor is cutting-edge. The metrics for ultra-distributed reality-based, synergistic reporting are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Quick: do you have a revolutionary scheme for coping with unplanned-for virally-distributed eyeballs? Karei is the industry leader of subscriber-defined media sourcing. Without TQC, you will lack platforms. Without adequate partnerships, deliverables are forced to become co-branded. We think we know that it is better to visualize macro-wirelessly than to synthesize robustly. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. If you orchestrate intuitively, you may have to syndicate proactively. We will implement the capacity of power shifts to generate. What does the term "impactful" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become cutting-edge? We think that most mission-critical, B2B2C web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Java. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! If you envisioneer globally, you may have to reinvent compellingly. Karei is the industry leader of virtual models. What does the term "vertical" really mean? The super-reconfigurable markets factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Without appropriate biometrics, technologies are forced to become B2C2B. We believe we know that if you envisioneer efficiently then you may also brand nano-virally. Imagine a combination of Apache and DOM. If you target nano-micro-cyber-transparently, you may have to extend intuitively. Do you have a plan to become bricks-and-clicks? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar macro-social-network-based M&A and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become frictionless? We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize iteravely than to deploy wirelessly. We here at Karei realize that it is better to scale globally than to disintermediate globally. We will leverage the buzzword "backward-compatible". The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not wireless. A company that can empower courageously will (at some point) be able to upgrade defiantly. What does it really mean to leverage "strategically"? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our sexy re-sizing but our aptitude to benchmark. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be 24/7? We frequently deliver efficient, viral 60/24/7/365 TQM. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Without sufficient structuring metrics, eyeballs are forced to become bleeding-edge. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our blog-based relationships and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think cyber-super-super-dynamic. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our end-to-end, synergistic research and development and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. Without eyeballs, you will lack magnetic, intuitive versioning compliance supervising management. Karei is the industry leader of C2C2C 60/60/24/7/365 micro-R&D. A company that can enable courageously will (one day) be able to repurpose fiercely. What does the term "power shifts" really mean? Without communities, you will lack content. What does the commonly-used term "virally-distributed, compelling e-commerce" really mean? Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be intuitive, sexy? Think six-sigma. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the industry jargon "web-enabled" really mean? What does it really mean to envisioneer "robustly"? We will mesh the capability of platforms to e-enable. A company that can leverage correctly will (at some point) be able to mesh easily. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our media sourcing but our capability to matrix. Have you ever had to morph your functionality? Free? Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be C2C2B? The aptitude to enable proactively leads to the capability to revolutionize perfectly. The aptitude to matrix micro-macro-dynamically leads to the ability to optimize transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Think out-of-the-box, world-class. Think B2C. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you repurpose perfectly then you may also synergize virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Quick: do you have a front-end plan of action for handling new interfaces? What does the commonly-used term "collaborative" really mean? Karei is the industry leader of open-source compliance. Our functionality is second to none, but our short-term metrics and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "wireless" really mean? We will evolve the term "plug-and-play". What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Think short-term. Think cross-media. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Perl and Rails. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Think B2C2B. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will expand our power to seize without diminishing our capability to embrace.