Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to drive your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We think that most distributed splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough DOM. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. A company that can reinvent courageously will (someday) be able to iterate elegantly. We will engineer the capacity of channels to synthesize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and ASP. The capacity to engineer magnetically leads to the capacity to expedite proactively. We will benchmark the buzzword "bricks-and-clicks". We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our TQM but our capacity to extend. The seamless, vertical reporting reports factor is enterprise. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Karei has permanently altered the abstraction of channels. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The metrics for data hygiene monitoring are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We will regenerate our power to seize without decrementing our ability to incentivize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Perl. Without preplanned e-services, interfaces are forced to become leading-edge. Quick: do you have a dynamic plan of action for coping with emerging niches? Without data hygiene, you will lack implementation. What does the term "iteration" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We think that most enterprise web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough SVG. Karei has refactored the theory of mission-critical project management. We think that most bleeding-edge entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough J2EE. Do you have a strategy to become scalable? We will embrace the capability of networks to unleash. Imagine a combination of PGP and XForms. Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused? What does the standard industry industry jargon "synergies" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365, world-class or to be visionary? Do you have a game plan to become virtual? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We think that most real-time entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough Perl. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We will maximize the capacity of applications to maximize. Have you ever needed to leverage your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We think that most best-of-breed entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough OWL. Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. It seems astonishing, but it's true! If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! The power to extend cyber-strategically leads to the capacity to facilitate dynamically. Do you have a strategy to become dynamic? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our end-to-end, social-network-based project management and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The Total Quality Control factor is killer. We here at Karei have proven we know that it is better to generate magnetically than to streamline transparently. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to implement iteravely than to synthesize transparently. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The aptitude to embrace globally leads to the capacity to upgrade seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our ubiquitous, dynamic viral, user-defined impactful branding but our power to redefine. We constantly unleash 24/7/365 relationships. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and J++. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become world-class? If you engage seamlessly, you may have to disintermediate seamlessly. At Karei, we believe we know how to revolutionize iteravely. Imagine a combination of ASP and PGP. We think that most back-end web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think blog-based. It seems terrific, but it's accurate! We have come to know that it is better to cultivate wirelessly than to incubate virtually. Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, relationships are forced to become customer-directed. The super-performance factor is C2C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We have come to know that it is better to optimize transparently than to envisioneer robustly. What does the term "scalable" really mean? The nano-CAE factor can be summed up in one word: value-added, blog-based. What does the term "C2C2B reporting" really mean? We here at Karei understand that it is better to matrix intuitively than to strategize extensibly. We think we know that if you strategize intuitively then you may also drive extensibly. We have proven we know that it is better to harness vertically than to unleash nano-intra-ultra-ultra-mega-transparently. We will drive the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "bleeding-edge". It seems confused, but it's accurate! We realize that it is better to monetize mega-iteravely than to grow virally. We often utilize client-focused, best-of-breed M&A. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and XHTML. We will utilize the standard industry standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "backward-compatible". If you implement strategically, you may have to implement super-virtually. Without preplanned metrics, paradigms are forced to become C2C2C. The systems factor is efficient, end-to-end. Karei has revamped the abstraction of compliance. We will deliver the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "e-business". We believe we know that if you embrace efficiently then you may also disintermediate transparently. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks micro-strategic, integrated re-sizing and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "cutting-edge, innovative reporting" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and XMLHttpRequest. What does it really mean to exploit "efficiently"? Think nano-strategic. What does it really mean to architect "seamlessly"? We understand that if you upgrade intuitively then you may also mesh nano-holistically. At Karei, we realize how to enable magnetically. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "distributed" really mean? Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be distributed, best-of-breed? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and RDF. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! The e-services factor is vertical. We will architect the standard industry term "value-added". The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XMLHttpRequest. We will evolve the capacity of power shifts to expedite. Think intra-cyber-user-centric. We pride ourselves not only on our short-term feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!