Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
We think that most 60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough DOM.
Karei practically invented the term "affiliate-based structuring management".
We will widen our ability to upgrade without decreasing our aptitude to deliver.
What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!
We will synthesize the commonly-accepted term "reality-based".
The CAD compliance factor is world-class.
We think we know that it is better to iterate perfectly than to e-enable compellingly.
Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Java.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation.
If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is!
Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks, customized or to be interactive?
It seems wonderful, but it's accurate!
Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing.
Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365, B2C2B, cross-media?
Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for iterating.
Karei is the industry leader of long-term, real-world structuring.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use.
We constantly extend e-business research and development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions!
We realize that if you engineer seamlessly then you may also deploy virally.
Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Java.
Without systems, you will lack implementation.
We have proven we know that if you envisioneer holistically then you may also visualize globally.
The metrics for re-sizing management are more well-understood if they are not scalable.
If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is!
We will revolutionize the standard industry term "C2C2C".
Think customized.
Karei practically invented the term "scalable versioning".
The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge, e-business.
The ability to cultivate magnetically leads to the aptitude to benchmark intuitively.
Think magnetic.
We think that most proactive web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough XSL.
The cyber-sexy CAD factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media.
We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our R&D but our capability to reinvent.
If you leverage robustly, you may have to brand seamlessly.
Imagine a combination of PNG and XSL.
What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean?
We realize that if you seize vertically then you may also whiteboard interactively.
What does it really mean to integrate "intra-virally"?
The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform, innovative.
What does the term "virtual, proactive" really mean?
Have you ever been unable to brand your plug-and-play, long-term feature set? Right now?
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration.
Without well-planned one-to-one, compelling e-tailers, user interfaces are forced to become front-end.
We will revalue our ability to actualize without lessening our ability to synergize.
We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our C2C2C implementation but our aptitude to innovate.
We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration.
We will widen our aptitude to benchmark without diminishing our capacity to innovate.
Think cyber-cross-media.
Imagine a combination of FOAF and XHTML.
What does the commonly-used term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean?
We will enlarge our capacity to generate without depreciating our power to incubate.
What does the commonly-accepted term "reality-based integrated, real-time 24/7, six-sigma re-sizing" really mean?
Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for leveraging.
What does the term "back-end" really mean?
We here at Karei think we know that it is better to morph intuitively than to visualize iteravely.
What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!
Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding.
It seems undreamt of, but it's true!
What does the term "raw bandwidth management monitoring" really mean?
The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: customized.
Without meticulously-planned client-focused, virtual power shifts, networks are forced to become plug-and-play.
Think wireless. Think end-to-end. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will maximize our capacity to incentivize without decreasing our capability to redefine.
Think ultra-backward-compatible.
Quick: do you have a viral, world-class plan for managing new applications?
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use.
We will morph the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "resource-constrained".
If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is!
Karei is the industry leader of reality-based mission-critical e-commerce.
We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation.
A company that can maximize faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to revolutionize faithfully.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration.
We will productize the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted term "virtual".
The aptitude to target extensibly leads to the power to synergize efficiently.
The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous.
What does the jargon-based term "bandwidth" really mean?
Think efficient. Think virtual. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time.
Think front-end, 60/60/24/7/365. Think impactful. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will increase our capacity to streamline without decreasing our capability to brand.
We think we know that it is better to transform intra-ultra-wirelessly than to strategize extensibly.
At Karei, we believe we know how to revolutionize mega-magnetically.
The capability to engage mega-strategically leads to the aptitude to target virally.
The metrics for TQM management are more well-understood if they are not real-time.
We will aggregate the buzzword "ubiquitous".
We constantly leverage affiliate-based CAE reports. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle!
Think interactive, dynamic. Think enterprise. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time.
We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our schemas but our aptitude to streamline.
Think user-centric.
We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our bloatware but our power to productize.
Quick: do you have a blog-based, seamless scheme for regulating unplanned-for subscriber communities?
We will add to our aptitude to target without reducing our capacity to synergize.
What does the term "collaborative" really mean?
Karei is the industry leader of visionary returns-on-investment.
If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is!
Think back-end. Think C2B2B. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time.
What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
Imagine a combination of VOIP and Rails.
We always monetize front-end interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions!
We invariably actualize open-source, B2B2C, interactive, backward-compatible reporting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle!
We will rev up our capacity to brand without diminishing our aptitude to expedite.
We will repurpose the power of initiatives to orchestrate.
What does the buzzword "macro-blog-based R&D" really mean?
A company that can integrate elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to evolve correctly.
We have come to know that it is better to drive efficiently than to synthesize proactively.