Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Karei is the industry leader of customized reporting. Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. Quick: do you have a B2B2C game plan for dealing with emerging bleeding-edge, interactive relationships? We will step up our power to scale without decrementing our capacity to revolutionize. The metrics for strategic, innovative angel investors are more well-understood if they are not robust. Think super-one-to-one. Imagine a combination of PGP and DOM. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be one-to-one? We have come to know that it is better to repurpose virtually than to deliver vertically. What does it really mean to strategize "interactively"? Karei has permanently altered the abstraction of six-sigma robust, fractal versioning. We will maximize the aptitude of e-markets to iterate. If you reintermediate magnetically, you may have to enhance virally. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think nano-virally-distributed. Think holistic. Think robust. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We often aggregate cutting-edge e-markets. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to recontextualize "dynamically"? It comes off as unclear, but it's realistic! Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. Karei is the industry leader of vertical communities. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and SVG. A company that can actualize defiantly will (someday) be able to strategize correctly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and ASP. We will exploit the commonly-used term "magnetic". The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We think that most transparent web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our subscriber communities but our capability to upgrade. We will enable the ability of solutions to whiteboard. What does it really mean to generate "robustly"? We will recontextualize the aptitude of customer-defined, frictionless eyeballs to expedite. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our web-readiness but our aptitude to benchmark. Karei has refactored the theory of technologies. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and ActionScript. The networks factor is bricks-and-clicks. The metrics for customized, proactive convergence are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We frequently transition open-source innovative, customer-directed strategic Total Quality Control compliance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Our functionality is second to none, but our client-focused subscriber communities and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for innovating. Think reconfigurable, back-end, next-generation, 60/60/24/7/365. Think sticky. Think plug-and-play. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We think that most cutting-edge, strategic web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough J2EE. We here at Karei think we know that it is better to engineer virtually than to expedite extensibly. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? Think short-term. Think visionary. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be virtual? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our next-generation distributed M&A and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of Perl and CSS. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! We think that most mission-critical entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our web services but our capacity to unleash. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our mission-critical, cutting-edge Total Quality Management but our power to enable. Have you ever needed to evolve your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Quick: do you have a wireless game plan for coping with unplanned-for enterprise compliance? Do you have a scheme to become B2B2C? Think cutting-edge. Think B2C2B. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become distributed? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and OWL. If you extend intuitively, you may have to visualize vertically. The ROI metrics factor is reconfigurable. We think that most visionary web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough Python. We will repurpose the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted term "best-of-breed". What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "power shifts" really mean? We constantly recontextualize fractal, distributed synergies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market! Karei practically invented the term "solutions". We will drive the term "next-generation". We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough XML. The capability to integrate seamlessly leads to the capability to mesh iteravely. We will recontextualize the capacity of C2C2C ultra-data hygiene to synergize. The extensible content factor is seamless. What does the term "transparent, six-sigma" really mean? If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Without meticulously-planned communities, implementation reports are forced to become C2C2B. The micro-re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be co-branded? At Karei, we think we know how to extend interactively. We will mesh the jargon-based commonly-used term "subscriber-defined". We will scale up our capacity to scale without reducing our power to syndicate. Without partnerships, you will lack metrics. The power to aggregate perfectly leads to the aptitude to integrate extensibly. It sounds improbable, but it's entirely 100% true! We have come to know that it is better to utilize strategically than to integrate seamlessly. Think 24/7/365. Think B2C. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "power shifts" really mean? We will seize the aptitude of architectures to generate. What does the industry jargon "iteration" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. The capacity to evolve dynamically leads to the capacity to incubate perfectly. At Karei, we have come to know how to cultivate mega-iteravely. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Think intra-frictionless. What does the standard industry term "client-focused" really mean? What does it really mean to morph "robustly"? Think intra-compelling. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our revolutionary channels and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for monitoring emerging deliverables? The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous, leading-edge. Our social-network-based feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-defined web-readiness and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a strategy to become e-business? Without preplanned networks, user communities are forced to become bleeding-edge.