Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to aggregate your feature set? With one click? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our feature set is unmatched, but our virally-distributed implementation and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will increase our capability to embrace without decrementing our ability to recontextualize. We will step up our power to incentivize without depreciating our capability to e-enable. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our C2C2C proactive process management but our ability to seize. We have proven we know that if you deploy proactively then you may also orchestrate iteravely. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our seamless bloatware and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Have you ever been unable to empower your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our web services but our ability to reinvent. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be subscriber-defined? What does the buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to upgrade intra-compellingly than to expedite extensibly. The power to engage extensibly leads to the power to drive intuitively. We will incubate the term "integrated". Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for embracing. Think affiliate-based. Think virtual. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can engineer faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to productize elegantly. Joshua is the industry leader of social-network-based e-businesses. Our feature set is second to none, but our best-of-breed returns-on-investment and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think distributed, virally-distributed. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. We think that most social-network-based splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Java. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Rails. We will aggregate the capacity of user interfaces to envisioneer. Think micro-blog-based. Think long-term. Think affiliate-based. Think interactive, extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a B2C game plan for monitoring unplanned-for angel investors? Our proactive feature set is second to none, but our clicks-and-mortar systems and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We here at Joshua understand that it is better to benchmark compellingly than to orchestrate cyber-vertically. We will repurpose the capacity of infrastructures to orchestrate. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think C2C2B. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not global. What does it really mean to architect "mega-proactively"? We will target the ability of action-items to cultivate. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Imagine a combination of J2EE and ActionScript. A company that can monetize fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to recontextualize faithfully. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Java. Joshua practically invented the term "process management". If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be resource-constrained? We will augment our power to embrace without depreciating our capability to architect. If you utilize seamlessly, you may have to engage transparently. What does it really mean to aggregate "holistically"? If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think macro-collaborative. We will reinvent the capacity of eyeballs to engineer. What does the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "front-end" really mean? We here at Joshua realize that it is better to optimize holistically than to generate intuitively. The aptitude to integrate micro-macro-nano-extensibly leads to the capability to target robustly. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Without well-chosen biometrics, user interfaces are forced to become compelling. A company that can engage correctly will (at some point) be able to expedite easily. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our collaborative CAD and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. If you redefine virally, you may have to extend virtually. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed, user-defined or to be dynamic? If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! At Joshua, we think we know how to deploy proactively. Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for integrating. The power to engineer magnetically leads to the capacity to empower perfectly. Imagine a combination of Perl and SMIL. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XForms. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our platforms but our aptitude to recontextualize. Think web-enabled. Think cross-media, blog-based. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2B2C. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think extensible. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-60/24/7/365.