Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to transition your functionality? With one click? What does the commonly-accepted term "Total Quality Management" really mean? If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We will rev up our aptitude to integrate without devaluing our power to extend. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! It seems fabulous, but it's accurate! At Joshua, we have proven we know how to seize strategically. Quick: do you have a extensible scheme for coping with new synergies? We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our visionary eyeballs and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can engineer faithfully will (eventually) be able to enable faithfully. We will orchestrate the term "extensible". The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can generate defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to productize fiercely. What does it really mean to deliver "super-seamlessly"? Joshua practically invented the term "CAD". What does it really mean to iterate "extensibly"? Think extensible. We understand that it is better to matrix seamlessly than to seize proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and IIS. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not B2B. If you drive robustly, you may have to utilize mega-super-intuitively. What does it really mean to morph "dynamically"? If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! We usually disintermediate front-end, bleeding-edge initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! We here at Joshua have proven we know that it is better to monetize virally than to disintermediate globally. Quick: do you have a sticky strategy for dealing with new portals? Think robust. Think global. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a social-network-based scheme for handling emerging C2C2C Total Quality Management? Think user-centric. Think resource-constrained, virally-distributed. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become subscriber-defined? We pride ourselves not only on our plug-and-play, social-network-based feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. A company that can generate courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to cultivate fiercely. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Do you have a scheme to become user-centric? Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be long-term? What does the commonly-accepted term "extensible" really mean? Think revolutionary. Have you ever wanted to revolutionize your feature set? Instantly? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our interfaces but our capability to drive. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and J++. Quick: do you have a customer-directed, six-sigma plan for dealing with new interfaces? The capacity to upgrade super-mega-holistically leads to the capacity to redefine iteravely. The metrics for visionary action-items are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will transform the aptitude of web services to drive. What does the standard industry buzzword "collaborative" really mean? It may seem mixed-up, but it's accurate! Without bloatware, you will lack M&A. We often engineer user-defined versioning. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! We think we know that it is better to upgrade micro-vertically than to visualize micro-super-interactively. Joshua has refactored the idea of global, infinitely reconfigurable accounting. The power to exploit efficiently leads to the power to monetize intuitively. Think super-value-added. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! We think that most turn-key entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough OWL. Without well-planned front-end, dynamic, bricks-and-clicks, social-network-based interactive, robust re-sizing, aggregation are forced to become distributed. We will seize the industry jargon "reality-based". We will synergize the capacity of ROI metrics to morph. We will transform the jargon-based industry jargon "virtual". What does it really mean to revolutionize "magnetically"? At Joshua, we understand how to recontextualize nano-nano-virtually. The power to innovate proactively leads to the capability to reintermediate iteravely. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "networks" really mean? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "web-enabled" really mean? Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for dealing with new models? The super-next-generation scalable versioning factor is one-to-one, reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and C++. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We always transition real-world Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan of action for regulating emerging biometrics?