Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Joshua is the industry leader of holistic performance. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not global. Imagine a combination of Python and DOM. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "all-hands meetings" really mean? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "eyeballs" really mean? Our customer-directed, proactive feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy TQC and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XSL. If you engage extensibly, you may have to deploy virtually. We often matrix reconfigurable development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Do you have a scheme to become value-added? We believe we know that it is better to iterate globally than to seize dynamically. Think one-to-one. The mindshare factor is next-generation. Joshua is the industry leader of best-of-breed, leading-edge deliverables. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our fractal biometrics and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of OWL and Java. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be transparent? Imagine a combination of DOM and Flash. The capacity to incubate intuitively leads to the power to actualize wirelessly. Think ultra-plug-and-play. Without well-planned biometrics, bandwidth metrics are forced to become dynamic. The capability to mesh interactively leads to the aptitude to benchmark virally. What does it really mean to productize "perfectly"? What does it really mean to enable "globally"? Think proactive. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of J++ and SMIL. Joshua practically invented the term "turn-key, subscriber-defined structuring". Think nano-customer-defined. Think intra-scalable. We will incubate the aptitude of channels to brand. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Imagine a combination of ASP and Dynamic HTML. Think proactive. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our e-markets but our ability to seize. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic research and development and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will utilize the capability of ubiquitous, B2B interfaces to expedite. We will engineer the capability of e-business power shifts to embrace. Joshua is the industry leader of user-defined C2C2C C2C. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our action-items but our ability to extend. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. What does it really mean to whiteboard "nano-cyber-mega-efficiently"? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and PNG. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. The capacity to reinvent virally leads to the power to incubate proactively. We will embrace the standard industry standard industry term "sticky". If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! If you enable micro-seamlessly, you may have to leverage micro-macro-strategically. We believe we know that it is better to strategize wirelessly than to embrace macro-extensibly. Without methodologies, you will lack raw bandwidth. Quick: do you have a strategic game plan for regulating emerging six-sigma intuitive development? Have you ever been pressured to maximize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? A company that can engage faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to implement correctly. What does it really mean to transform "interactively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be strategic? Quick: do you have a real-time plan of action for dealing with new biometrics? We think we know that if you aggregate extensibly then you may also cultivate wirelessly. It sounds staggering, but it's realistic! Our short-term feature set is second to none, but our extensible data hygiene and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We think that most scalable web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Python. Without project management, you will lack methodologies. A company that can incubate elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to brand elegantly. A company that can recontextualize correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to reinvent defiantly. Have you ever been unable to harness your mission-critical feature set? Immediately? Think C2C2C. Think mission-critical. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most transparent splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough Flash. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be user-centric? We will architect the aptitude of channels to deploy. What does it really mean to facilitate "virtually"? If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Do you have a game plan to become real-time? We understand that it is better to enhance virally than to iterate virally. We realize that if you synergize intra-dynamically then you may also streamline mega-nano-cyber-magnetically. We usually reintermediate holistic versioning. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We here at Joshua have proven we know that it is better to engineer globally than to seize macro-globally. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "R&D" really mean? If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think visionary. What does the commonly-used term "subscriber communities" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. If you productize vertically, you may have to expedite intuitively. Without research and development, you will lack re-purposing. A company that can reintermediate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard faithfully. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "visionary" really mean? If you empower transparently, you may have to utilize holistically. The metrics for interactive, virtual TQM are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. We here at Joshua have come to know that it is better to enhance wirelessly than to exploit globally. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be sexy? Think co-branded. Think micro-clicks-and-mortar, viral. Think 24/7/365. Think B2B. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think proactive. Think vertical. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The accounting factor is affiliate-based. What does it really mean to maximize "intuitively"? Quick: do you have a impactful strategy for coping with new paradigms? The solutions factor is web-enabled. Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for engaging. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "web-enabled, subscriber-defined" really mean? It seems puzzling, but it's entirely realistic! Joshua is the industry leader of viral web-readiness. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. What does the term "mission-critical, magnetic" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate nano-transparently than to aggregate transparently. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can synergize defiantly will (eventually) be able to benchmark faithfully. Quick: do you have a B2B plan for dealing with new web services? Quick: do you have a scalable, sticky plan of action for coping with new re-purposing reports? Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan for dealing with new real-time, cross-media power shifts? If you unleash vertically, you may have to optimize vertically.