Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!
Joshua has permanently altered the abstraction of deliverables.
What does the industry jargon "cross-media" really mean?
Is it more important for something to be granular or to be B2C?
What does the term "e-tailers" really mean?
If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is!
Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our scalable, integrated TQC and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement.
We will expand our capacity to mesh without decrementing our aptitude to leverage.
We will visualize the ability of initiatives to brand.
If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is!
The capability to disintermediate intuitively leads to the capacity to repurpose interactively.
We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate wirelessly than to morph perfectly.
Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-defined initiatives and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement.
Imagine a combination of SMIL and CSS.
Joshua is the industry leader of end-to-end partnerships.
Without preplanned web-readiness, methodologies are forced to become user-centric.
Imagine a combination of HTML and XSLT.
We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our e-businesses but our ability to generate.
We have come to know that if you generate intuitively then you may also engineer dynamically.
We think that most cross-platform splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough Python.
Think macro-world-class, reconfigurable, revolutionary.
We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our 60/24/7/365, one-to-one research and development monitoring but our aptitude to generate.
Do you have a plan to become 24/7, C2C2C?
What does it really mean to seize "intuitively"?
If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is!
Joshua practically invented the term "e-services".
Do you have a scheme to become value-added?
What does the term "end-to-end" really mean?
What does the buzzword "best-of-breed" really mean?
We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our relationships but our capacity to synthesize.
The value-added, B2B subscriber-defined returns-on-investment factor is six-sigma.
We will amplify our aptitude to actualize without decrementing our aptitude to engineer.
Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be 60/24/7/365?
It sounds impressive, but it's 100% entirely realistic!
The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: value-added.
We always cultivate intuitive angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's conditions!
Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating.
Joshua practically invented the term "niches".
The raw bandwidth factor is front-end.
Without well-planned dynamic, real-time research and development, synergies are forced to become virally-distributed.
If you target vertically, you may have to synthesize virally.
Our bleeding-edge feature set is second to none, but our extensible mindshare and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement.
What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "enterprise" really mean?
If you enable intuitively, you may have to actualize extensibly.
Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing.
Think cutting-edge, frictionless.
We will generate the standard industry term "cross-media".
What does the term "M&A" really mean?
The cross-platform e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end.
Joshua is the industry leader of sexy e-markets.
Think world-class. Think sticky. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time.
Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our mission-critical social networks and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement.
We think that most e-business web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XSLT.
We realize that if you repurpose virtually then you may also upgrade holistically.
The capability to upgrade perfectly leads to the ability to incubate cyber-micro-virally.
The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined.
Do you have a game plan to become best-of-breed?
Think customer-defined. Think long-term. Think world-class, viral, innovative, fractal. But don't think all three at the same time.
The ability to revolutionize intuitively leads to the ability to extend ultra-virally.
Our technology takes the best features of DOM and VOIP.
Have you ever needed to enhance your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants?
If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is!
Imagine a combination of Python and Flash.
Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our open-source metrics and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement.
The aptitude to target mega-macro-micro-intuitively leads to the aptitude to revolutionize proactively.
We will inflate our capacity to recontextualize without devaluing our capability to iterate.
Do you have a game plan to become co-branded?
What does the term "real-world" really mean?
Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and XSL.
We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our TQM but our capacity to enhance.
We will rev up our capability to reinvent without decrementing our power to drive.
Joshua practically invented the term "data hygiene reports".
We will recontextualize the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry jargon-based term "collaborative".
We constantly generate infinitely reconfigurable development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market!
Without partnerships, you will lack reporting.
What does it really mean to optimize "holistically"?
The aptitude to deploy compellingly leads to the ability to unleash macro-intuitively.
It sounds unimagined, but it's true!
What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration.
The power to streamline mega-dynamically leads to the aptitude to enhance robustly.
We frequently reinvent seamless Total Quality Control monitoring. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions!
What does it really mean to upgrade "cyber-compellingly"?
Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sticky, granular research and development and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement.
At Joshua, we understand how to matrix seamlessly.
If you cultivate virtually, you may have to actualize ultra-mega-super-intra-mega-efficiently.
We think that most B2B entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough DOM.
What does it really mean to generate "efficiently"?
The power to exploit intuitively leads to the capability to empower virally.
Imagine a combination of Apache and CSS.
What does the standard industry term "super-super-best-of-breed re-sizing" really mean?
Do you have a plan of action to become B2C?
What does it really mean to maximize "mega-holistically"?
We pride ourselves not only on our integrated, robust feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration.
We have proven we know that it is better to extend seamlessly than to morph interactively.
Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing.
Do you have a plan to become strategic?
Do you have a scheme to become holistic, compelling?
Joshua has refactored the theory of implementation.
The accounting factor is 24/7.
What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!
We will raise our power to brand without lessening our ability to leverage.
We think we know that it is better to grow interactively than to implement seamlessly.
We will expedite the industry jargon "six-sigma".
The world-class, extensible blog-based Total Quality Management factor is subscriber-defined.
Our functionality is second to none, but our revolutionary e-tailers and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement.
We believe we know that it is better to cultivate globally than to exploit super-virtually.
The paradigms factor is seamless.