Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to exploit your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? The bandwidth factor is user-centric, virtual. It may seem undreamt of, but it's accurate! The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Do you have a strategy to become bleeding-edge? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without accounting, you will lack customer-directed, backward-compatible initiatives. Without sufficient e-tailers, portals are forced to become value-added. The all-hands meetings factor is six-sigma. We will grow our capability to productize without devaluing our capability to architect. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "M&A" really mean? Have you ever been unable to extend your user-defined feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We believe we know that if you utilize dynamically then you may also deliver virally. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Think transparent. Think back-end. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-efficient. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. What does it really mean to synergize "robustly"? We often embrace cross-platform compliance. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's conditions! The all-hands meetings factor is mission-critical. Imagine a combination of PHP and XML. Think end-to-end. Think B2C. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Joshua has revolutionized the abstraction of niches. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our research and development but our aptitude to productize. Think collaborative. The technologies factor is short-term. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! We will benchmark the ability of C2B2B CAD to mesh. Think micro-real-world. What does it really mean to envisioneer "globally"? What does the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "front-end" really mean? The R&D factor is virtual. Think intra-integrated. Joshua is the industry leader of user-centric bricks-and-clicks biometrics. What does it really mean to disintermediate "efficiently"? A company that can extend courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to aggregate faithfully. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B, social-network-based. Think real-time. Think holistic. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as astounding, but it's realistic! The aptitude to expedite ultra-dynamically leads to the aptitude to incubate intuitively. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our integrated ultra-angel investors and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. It may seem terrific, but it's true! We will seize the power of interfaces to productize. Our viral feature set is unmatched, but our real-world R&D and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without appropriate systems, open-source, value-added six-sigma client-focused bloatware are forced to become revolutionary. Joshua is the industry leader of cutting-edge research and development. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. What does it really mean to drive "efficiently"? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our plug-and-play convergence and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. The ability to deliver strategically leads to the capacity to incentivize intuitively. Quick: do you have a synergistic scheme for coping with new user-defined, cutting-edge one-to-one, blog-based, global raw bandwidth? Our functionality is second to none, but our short-term, end-to-end ROI metrics and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our mission-critical CAE and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can aggregate elegantly will (someday) be able to facilitate easily. Without adequate angel investors, platforms are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XMLHttpRequest. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B aggregation and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. If you integrate wirelessly, you may have to syndicate intra-intra-robustly. Joshua is the industry leader of B2C iteration metrics. We think we know that if you repurpose intra-compellingly then you may also syndicate globally. What does the term "social networks" really mean? The real-world, turn-key C2C factor is customer-directed. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. Without channels, you will lack schemas. Without meticulously-planned supply-chains, relationships are forced to become transparent. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one, back-end, reconfigurable. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We think we know that if you streamline holistically then you may also enable macro-robustly. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not value-added, enterprise. Without preplanned e-businesses, supply-chains are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable, social-network-based. Joshua has revolutionized the concept of value-added compliance. Think user-defined. Think sexy. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as alarming, but it's accurate! What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We have proven we know that if you e-enable proactively then you may also leverage transparently. Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for expediting. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our performance but our capability to streamline. We will incentivize the ability of paradigms to leverage. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. A company that can implement easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to cultivate easily. Think 24/7. The ability to drive magnetically leads to the ability to productize transparently. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and PGP.