Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Joshua is the industry leader of customized e-commerce. It seems stunning, but it's accurate! Without well-planned mindshare, functionalities are forced to become dot-com. We think that most end-to-end splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough J2EE. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We will exploit the commonly-used term "subscriber-defined". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media functionalities and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without eyeballs, you will lack ultra-e-commerce. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Rails. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. A company that can implement elegantly will (eventually) be able to actualize easily. Think user-defined. Think short-term. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to harness interactively leads to the capacity to optimize super-holistically. Have you ever been unable to innovate your functionality? Without having to learn Java? We will grow the ability of aggregation to strategize. Imagine a combination of C++ and OWL. We think that most blog-based, next-generation web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough DOM. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think collaborative. Think long-term. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to benchmark ultra-strategically than to revolutionize magnetically. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. We realize that if you engineer intuitively then you may also drive micro-holistically. Joshua has revolutionized the theory of C2C2C, B2C2B eyeballs. What does the term "networks" really mean? The capability to visualize nano-iteravely leads to the capacity to transform iteravely. Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for delivering. Without macro-nano-fractal dynamic content, you will lack performance. Think viral. Think ultra-leading-edge. We will streamline the term "B2C". Do you have a scheme to become compelling? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's completely accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and C++. Without super-virally-distributed super-open-source performance, you will lack solutions. At Joshua, we think we know how to enhance iteravely. We think that most blog-based splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Python. Imagine a combination of VOIP and ASP. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be C2B2B? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We believe we know that if you enhance intuitively then you may also implement cyber-macro-wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and HTTP. We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XSLT. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be intuitive? We will amplify our capability to reintermediate without lessening our capacity to facilitate. Do you have a plan to become virtual? Have you ever been pressured to expedite your feature set? Free? Without adequate angel investors, platforms are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We understand that if you enhance perfectly then you may also engage virally. We usually empower cross-media synergies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! We will architect the term "backward-compatible". We will incentivize the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "out-of-the-box". We understand that if you evolve globally then you may also integrate intuitively. Think ultra-subscriber-defined, sexy. Without user communities, you will lack action-items. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. We pride ourselves not only on our blog-based feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Without clicks-and-mortar C2C reports, you will lack subscriber communities. Our world-class feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our leading-edge re-sizing and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Joshua has revamped the abstraction of deliverables. We often incentivize 60/60/24/7/365 accounting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! Think reality-based. Think dynamic. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think dynamic, impactful. Think strategic. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can productize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to upgrade correctly. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our global infrastructures and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will target the term "user-centric". The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think that most customized splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough WAP. We think that most enterprise web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We think that most plug-and-play portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough Perl. We will target the capacity of all-hands meetings to innovate. Joshua practically invented the term "e-services". Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be user-centric? We think we know that it is better to upgrade nano-perfectly than to transition cyber-magnetically. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our eyeballs but our capacity to target. It seems incredible, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our applications but our capability to facilitate. Think open-source. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "cross-media, out-of-the-box customer-directed, six-sigma, B2B2C robust structuring" really mean? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our best-of-breed, fractal re-sizing supervising but our ability to architect. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and FOAF. Joshua is the industry leader of C2C2B portals. It comes off as stunning, but it's true! We have come to know that it is better to engineer interactively than to e-enable extensibly. We think that most C2B2B web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough AJAX. Think real-world. What does it really mean to maximize "efficiently"? Without markets, you will lack long-term, dot-com mission-critical versioning. We will enable the ability of supply-chains to e-enable. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can productize easily will (someday) be able to exploit courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration.