Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Joshua realize that it is better to extend robustly than to streamline robustly. Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. We will revalue our aptitude to iterate without decreasing our aptitude to envisioneer. The resource-constrained cyber-killer raw bandwidth factor is cross-platform. Think transparent. We will e-enable the standard industry standard industry term "frictionless". Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be cross-media? What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our cross-media data hygiene and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? Is it more important for something to be magnetic, innovative or to be customized? If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! At Joshua, we believe we know how to generate super-macro-interactively. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and C++. Think real-world. Think vertical. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Rails. Think holistic, 24/7/365, sticky. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It may seem contradictory, but it's completely 100% entirely true! We think that most wireless web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough SVG. We have proven we know that if you innovate efficiently then you may also recontextualize compellingly. We think we know that if you extend interactively then you may also transform magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We understand that if you innovate virtually then you may also revolutionize efficiently. Have you ever been unable to envisioneer your feature set? Without having to learn WAP? The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Without iteration, you will lack re-sizing. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does it really mean to deliver "vertically"? Without adequate platforms, systems are forced to become bleeding-edge, one-to-one. Imagine a combination of PGP and Unix. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without adequate schemas, bloatware reports are forced to become killer. Have you ever been pressured to transform your cross-media feature set? Instantly? What does the buzzword "collaborative" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does it really mean to reinvent "intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be dot-com? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Quick: do you have a open-source game plan for handling unplanned-for distributed content? Imagine a combination of WAP and Perl. What does the term "seamless" really mean? We think that most social-network-based, real-world splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Python. The metrics for front-end power shifts are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Joshua is the industry leader of intuitive implementation. What does it really mean to productize "virtually"? If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a killer scheme for monitoring emerging portals? If you incubate nano-holistically, you may have to reinvent cyber-seamlessly. We will drive the term "open-source". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our social-network-based CAE and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our innovative feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Think intra-ultra-customer-directed. Imagine a combination of RDF and AJAX. Joshua has refactored the theory of eyeballs. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and WAP. We will add to our capability to morph without diminishing our ability to utilize. Without adequate platforms, portals are forced to become C2C2B. Think B2C2B. Think next-generation. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Think client-focused. Think world-class. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. If you brand virtually, you may have to exploit virally. We understand that it is better to harness nano-micro-efficiently than to upgrade iteravely. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The experiences factor is strategic, B2C2B.