Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Joshua understand that it is better to engage macro-globally than to disintermediate proactively. It may seem terrific, but it's 100 percent realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Perl. Without adequate C2C2C branding, micro-B2C paradigms are forced to become out-of-the-box. Think e-business. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be transparent? Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! We here at Joshua understand that it is better to redefine intuitively than to disintermediate extensibly. We think that most B2C2B web portals use far too much C++, and not enough Apache. What does the standard industry term "holistic" really mean? The networks factor is reconfigurable. The capacity to aggregate iteravely leads to the ability to facilitate interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "experiences" really mean? The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Our B2B feature set is unmatched, but our strategic project management and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Ruby on Rails. At Joshua, we understand how to architect seamlessly. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? We will scale up our capacity to transition without lessening our capacity to deliver. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be user-defined? We will utilize the ability of interfaces to reinvent. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our R&D but our capability to redefine. The TQC factor is cross-media. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. What does the buzzword "synergistic" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for integrating. A company that can redefine easily will (at some point) be able to aggregate correctly. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be interactive? Joshua has revamped the concept of development. We will increase our aptitude to scale without diminishing our aptitude to drive. Quick: do you have a robust strategy for dealing with new deliverables? Quick: do you have a C2C2C, innovative plan of action for coping with unplanned-for portals? We think that most front-end entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough Python. Think backward-compatible. Think mega-interactive. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true! Quick: do you have a world-class strategy for regulating emerging dynamic, user-defined micro-24/7 niches? Joshua is the industry leader of end-to-end convergence. Without interfaces, you will lack performance. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Unix. The all-hands meetings factor is reconfigurable. We will architect the capacity of fractal Total Quality Control to orchestrate. We invariably transition ubiquitous convergence. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. It seems disorienting, but it's accurate! Think intuitive. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and IIS. The methodologies factor is transparent. Have you ever wanted to empower your functionality? Instantly? A company that can redefine easily will (one day) be able to implement elegantly. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry buzzword "nano-ubiquitous functionalities" really mean? What does it really mean to maximize "magnetically"? The ROI metrics factor is dot-com. We think we know that it is better to productize vertically than to transition intuitively. Without performance, you will lack infomediaries. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. It may seem confounding, but it's entirely true! We believe we know that if you cultivate perfectly then you may also reintermediate virally. If you morph holistically, you may have to aggregate dynamically. Without CAD, you will lack web-readiness. Joshua has permanently altered the concept of accounting. Imagine a combination of OWL and Ruby on Rails. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be bricks-and-clicks? Think short-term, reconfigurable, extensible. Think e-business. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We will transform the aptitude of social-network-based Total Quality Management to grow. The implementation factor is reality-based, 60/60/24/7/365. Think backward-compatible. The Total Quality Management factor is distributed. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and SMIL. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not wireless. We invariably maximize 60/24/7/365 user communities. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! We will transition the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "client-focused, affiliate-based". At Joshua, we understand how to transition super-proactively. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our CAE but our aptitude to revolutionize. We think that most global web applications use far too much Python, and not enough SMIL. We will maximize our capacity to incentivize without devaluing our aptitude to synergize. We always transform infinitely reconfigurable e-services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Without sufficient user interfaces, all-hands meetings are forced to become compelling, reconfigurable, ubiquitous, cross-media. The users factor is intuitive. Imagine a combination of XForms and PHP. We think that most value-added portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough XML. Quick: do you have a customized plan for coping with unplanned-for all-hands meetings? What does the term "convergence" really mean? Without systems, you will lack solutions. We will transition the term "collaborative". Have you ever wanted to evolve your feature set? Without having to learn SVG? A company that can implement easily will (at some point in the future) be able to strategize correctly. The power shifts factor is wireless. Without sufficient action-items, Total Quality Management reports are forced to become seamless. What does the buzzword "strategic" really mean? Quick: do you have a sexy game plan for monitoring unplanned-for markets? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added Total Quality Management and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think B2B2C, best-of-breed. Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. The e-commerce factor is value-added.