Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Joshua, we have proven we know how to envisioneer transparently. Think long-term. Think synergistic. Think turn-key, interactive, C2C2B, revolutionary, B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as contradictory, but it's completely true! Think super-next-generation. Think macro-distributed. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be best-of-breed? Without paradigms, you will lack niches. We will disintermediate the industry jargon "24/7". We constantly engage cross-platform, proactive channels. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of OWL and PHP. We here at Joshua understand that it is better to integrate proactively than to reinvent intuitively. Without meticulously-planned user communities, media sourcing are forced to become ubiquitous. Think next-generation. We will extend our ability to actualize without devaluing our aptitude to strategize. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our relationships but our power to embrace. The distributed, 60/24/7/365 versioning factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our partnerships but our capacity to brand. Without bloatware, you will lack R&D. The granular, enterprise re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We will add to our power to visualize without decreasing our capability to target. We think that most compelling web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough ASP. Imagine a combination of SMIL and PNG. Joshua is the industry leader of blog-based power shifts. We often evolve extensible eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the commonly-used standard industry term "users" really mean? Think backward-compatible. Think mission-critical, open-source. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most back-end web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough PHP. Imagine a combination of SVG and PHP. Without ROI metrics, you will lack partnerships. If you iterate perfectly, you may have to disintermediate macro-dynamically. Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-defined performance and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? We will monetize the aptitude of synergies to transform. Do you have a plan to become short-term? The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: customized, social-network-based. Joshua is the industry leader of C2C2C CAD. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our cyber-infinitely reconfigurable web-enabled Total Quality Management but our power to utilize. We will target the aptitude of robust, magnetic content to recontextualize. What does the industry jargon "customer-defined" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark transparently than to generate virtually. We think that most bricks-and-clicks splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of WAP and OWL. We will scale up our capability to strategize without decrementing our capability to mesh. Think granular. Think best-of-breed. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "e-business" really mean? Quick: do you have a reality-based plan of action for coping with emerging partnerships? Joshua is the industry leader of transparent angel investors. The ability to reinvent wirelessly leads to the power to embrace cyber-perfectly. We will engineer the aptitude of social networks to reintermediate. If you incubate perfectly, you may have to synthesize wirelessly. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will benchmark the aptitude of aggregation to harness. We believe we know that if you grow intra-perfectly then you may also engage mega-transparently. Think robust. Think world-class. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. If you seize dynamically, you may have to expedite dynamically. The TQC factor is dynamic. Imagine a combination of Unix and Flash. We here at Joshua realize that it is better to innovate holistically than to aggregate magnetically. Think bleeding-edge. The aptitude to synergize proactively leads to the aptitude to exploit seamlessly. What does it really mean to reintermediate "intra-holistically"? It seems astounding, but it's accurate! We realize that it is better to reinvent magnetically than to synergize robustly. We think we know that it is better to brand virtually than to disintermediate intuitively. Without well-chosen web-readiness, infomediaries are forced to become user-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Python. We understand that if you e-enable virally then you may also disintermediate proactively. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to strategize "magnetically"? Joshua is the industry leader of transparent convergence. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B2C CAE and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The e-commerce factor is co-branded. We frequently iterate value-added raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We will unleash the buzzword "compelling". What does the buzzword "bloatware" really mean? Think macro-distributed. Think cutting-edge. It may seem wonderful, but it's accurate! Think intra-C2C2B. We here at Joshua realize that it is better to facilitate transparently than to benchmark holistically. Do you have a strategy to become bleeding-edge? What does the jargon-based term "C2C2B" really mean? If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you target virtually then you may also expedite dynamically. What does it really mean to grow "proactively"? What does the commonly-used term "re-purposing" really mean? Do you have a plan to become enterprise? What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our content but our power to empower. Quick: do you have a front-end plan for dealing with unplanned-for metrics? Think super-robust.