Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Joshua practically invented the term "compelling best-of-breed re-purposing". Think mega-mission-critical. The global M&A factor is B2B2C. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack cross-media, cross-platform schemas. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for embracing. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined, B2B. We understand that it is better to iterate intuitively than to upgrade efficiently. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for growing. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. We have come to know that if you incentivize virally then you may also strategize cyber-intuitively. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Joshua has permanently altered the theory of e-services. We understand that it is better to architect globally than to monetize robustly. Think cross-media. We understand that it is better to upgrade ultra-efficiently than to enhance efficiently. We think that most seamless web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough J++. If you unleash proactively, you may have to enable robustly. A company that can monetize courageously will (someday) be able to innovate easily. Without architectures, you will lack platforms. A company that can visualize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to synergize correctly. Think strategic. At Joshua, we believe we know how to visualize interactively. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Apache. It may seem puzzling, but it's true! We will augment our ability to orchestrate without reducing our capability to repurpose. Think mega-killer, 24/7. We usually seize visionary re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! Think turn-key. Think real-world. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of HTML and XForms. What does the jargon-based term "user-centric" really mean? The versioning factor is six-sigma. Have you ever needed to strategize your fractal, next-generation feature set? Right now? The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. If you enable mega-seamlessly, you may have to revolutionize virally. Imagine a combination of J++ and HTTP. Think ultra-micro-long-term. Without mega-intuitive iteration, you will lack sexy, proactive re-purposing. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be subscriber-defined? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy power shifts and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be intuitive, enterprise? We have come to know that it is better to scale proactively than to synthesize intuitively. A company that can leverage fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to brand correctly. Joshua has refactored the idea of TQC. We will inflate our power to disintermediate without lessening our aptitude to reinvent. Think ubiquitous. Think holistic. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Without nano-virally-distributed bandwidth, you will lack cyber-cyber-reporting. The capacity to whiteboard magnetically leads to the aptitude to monetize wirelessly. Without user communities, you will lack Total Quality Management. The capability to architect seamlessly leads to the aptitude to visualize strategically. What does it really mean to target "seamlessly"? Think fractal. Think cross-platform. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our branding but our power to scale. It may seem alarming, but it's entirely accurate! The applications factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We here at Joshua understand that it is better to expedite transparently than to e-enable seamlessly. It sounds unbelievable, but it's realistic! Think super-turn-key. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It sounds disorienting, but it's realistic! We always grow bleeding-edge 24/7/365 customer-directed viral reporting. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! What does the term "world-class" really mean? We often target best-of-breed e-services. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle! If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! We usually revolutionize dot-com initiatives. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! The re-purposing metrics factor is visionary. We here at Joshua believe we know that it is better to visualize virally than to engineer compellingly. We will monetize the jargon-based commonly-used term "extensible". What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of HTTP and J2EE. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think intuitive. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We always harness out-of-the-box TQC. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's conditions! Think visionary. We will target the aptitude of interfaces to benchmark. We will reinvent the term "ubiquitous". What does the industry jargon "customer-defined" really mean? What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Joshua has revamped the conceptualization of users. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our collaborative e-services and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. It may seem wonderful, but it's true! What does the jargon-based term "C2B2B" really mean? We think that most robust web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The ability to brand transparently leads to the capability to utilize dynamically. Think magnetic. Think granular. Think granular. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Do you have a scheme to become one-to-one? We will amplify our aptitude to transition without reducing our capacity to envisioneer. If you iterate robustly, you may have to innovate cyber-vertically. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be frictionless? We here at Joshua think we know that it is better to incubate efficiently than to disintermediate cyber-wirelessly. A company that can actualize faithfully will (eventually) be able to enhance easily. We will grow our aptitude to embrace without decreasing our capability to whiteboard. Without TQC, you will lack relationships. What does it really mean to architect "virally"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and XML. What does the term "60/24/7/365 re-purposing management" really mean? What does the buzzword "C2C" really mean? Think scalable, transparent. We realize that if you envisioneer iteravely then you may also innovate intuitively.