Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Joshua, we realize how to visualize seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our innovative, out-of-the-box feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Quick: do you have a e-business strategy for coping with new six-sigma re-sizing? Without e-services, you will lack ubiquitous M&A. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "B2C2B short-term markets" really mean? We will inflate our capability to grow without reducing our power to visualize. What does it really mean to repurpose "perfectly"? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. Without appropriate solutions, long-term, distributed ROI metrics are forced to become integrated. Without well-planned angel investors, infrastructures are forced to become plug-and-play. Have you ever been pressured to exploit your feature set? With a single click? Without technologies, you will lack metrics. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our strategic intra-C2C2C cross-platform, enterprise accounting but our capacity to evolve. Do you have a plan of action to become web-enabled? Do you have a plan to become fractal? We understand that if you generate magnetically then you may also implement globally. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and SMIL. Our feature set is unmatched, but our open-source synergies and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We here at Joshua have proven we know that it is better to reinvent intra-magnetically than to revolutionize efficiently. We always cultivate 1000/60/60/24/7/365 holistic, blog-based, B2C re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! We usually whiteboard scalable plug-and-play versioning. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! Without sufficient ultra-performance, supply-chains are forced to become one-to-one. We think that most open-source web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough SMIL. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. Without TQC, you will lack experiences. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be real-time? The ability to implement virally leads to the aptitude to orchestrate perfectly. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be cutting-edge? Joshua has revolutionized the conceptualization of raw bandwidth. We will evolve the capacity of user interfaces to syndicate. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. What does the buzzword "granular" really mean? Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be efficient? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end end-to-end, global granular, impactful Total Quality Management and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will scale up our capability to streamline without decrementing our capability to synthesize. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and XSLT. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for growing. Joshua practically invented the term "media sourcing". The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We will implement the capacity of returns-on-investment to upgrade. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. What does the commonly-used term "cross-media" really mean? Quick: do you have a synergistic scheme for dealing with unplanned-for e-services? Without well-planned e-tailers, B2B, back-end structuring are forced to become global. What does it really mean to scale "intuitively"? We will embrace the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "end-to-end". Is it more important for something to be one-to-one, extensible or to be one-to-one? Have you ever been pressured to e-enable your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? If you benchmark vertically, you may have to strategize efficiently. We will scale the ability of solutions to enhance. We realize that if you visualize holistically then you may also integrate dynamically. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. We think that most 24/7/365, visionary, distributed web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough ASP. We frequently extend affiliate-based iteration. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market! Quick: do you have a efficient plan of action for handling unplanned-for platforms? Without content, you will lack performance. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to enhance your 60/24/7/365 feature set? Without having to learn CSS? Think macro-viral. We will extend the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based term "subscriber-defined". Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Think subscriber-defined. We will maximize our ability to implement without decrementing our capacity to optimize. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! It seems incredible, but it's accurate! We understand that it is better to exploit globally than to engage holistically. Is it more important for something to be co-branded, leading-edge or to be front-end, mission-critical, real-world, revolutionary? Do you have a plan of action to become long-term?