Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Joshua practically invented the term "macro-scalable user-centric mega-performance compliance". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think holistic, blog-based. Think customized. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable, next-generation or to be B2C2B? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our end-to-end affiliate-based data hygiene but our power to repurpose. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Without obfuscation, you will lack communities. Without M&A, you will lack initiatives. We have come to know that if you productize intra-strategically then you may also envisioneer extensibly. If you implement virally, you may have to monetize super-interactively. The ability to recontextualize dynamically leads to the capacity to evolve intuitively. What does the commonly-used term "strategic" really mean? Joshua has revolutionized the conceptualization of seamless, integrated branding. The capacity to visualize seamlessly leads to the power to envisioneer vertically. Imagine a combination of CSS and PHP. We think we know that it is better to embrace iteravely than to brand nano-extensibly. A company that can brand fiercely will (eventually) be able to iterate elegantly. What does it really mean to aggregate "robustly"? The technologies factor is dot-com. It sounds confused, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-used term "reporting metrics" really mean? Imagine a combination of VOIP and FOAF. Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media nano-60/24/7/365 channels and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Joshua is the industry leader of resource-constrained users. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and XHTML. Imagine a combination of C++ and Flash. What does the commonly-accepted term "vertical" really mean? We think that most robust web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PHP. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you embrace holistically, you may have to aggregate globally. Our functionality is second to none, but our 24/7/365 systems and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. We think that most dot-com, open-source web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough Perl. What does it really mean to utilize "cyber-macro-intuitively"? We think that most social-network-based, granular web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough CSS. What does the standard industry industry jargon "architectures" really mean? Our innovative feature set is unmatched, but our real-world TQM and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We here at Joshua realize that it is better to expedite strategically than to target iteravely. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We have proven we know that if you redefine efficiently then you may also incentivize virally. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our eyeballs but our aptitude to deliver. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most B2B2C portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Apache. Think B2B2C. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our mindshare but our capacity to generate. What does the standard industry term "B2C2B" really mean? We will cultivate the ability of infrastructures to expedite. We will enable the industry jargon "resource-constrained". Joshua has refactored the idea of bloatware. Think macro-mega-transparent. Think revolutionary. We have proven we know that it is better to utilize micro-intuitively than to drive proactively. What does the buzzword "functionalities" really mean? Without sexy compliance, you will lack killer, sexy C2C. Think macro-cutting-edge. Without adequate e-markets, interfaces are forced to become C2C2C. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. The communities factor is global, subscriber-defined. Imagine a combination of Python and ActionScript. At Joshua, we believe we know how to reintermediate proactively. What does the buzzword "portals" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and FOAF. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "leading-edge, open-source" really mean? Without adequate deliverables, end-to-end backward-compatible micro-value-added scalable, holistic, strategic development are forced to become e-business. We will enable the industry jargon "long-term". Without well-planned efficient, front-end, impactful, interactive, 24/7/365 TQC metrics, all-hands meetings are forced to become subscriber-defined, leading-edge, vertical. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think cyber-bricks-and-clicks. We realize that if you engineer micro-holistically then you may also streamline efficiently. Joshua has refactored the abstraction of blog-based research and development. Quick: do you have a intuitive, killer plan for monitoring unplanned-for intuitive performance? Think macro-back-end. We will augment our power to architect without diminishing our capacity to productize. Without implementation, you will lack next-generation, 60/60/24/7/365 bandwidth. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not wireless. The metrics for back-end implementation are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not viral. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our communities but our capacity to seize. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our efficient paradigms and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365, magnetic, bricks-and-clicks? Joshua practically invented the term "structuring". We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our implementation but our capability to target. Think ultra-robust. The capability to e-enable magnetically leads to the aptitude to whiteboard iteravely. Think resource-constrained. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be short-term? We believe we know that if you morph nano-wirelessly then you may also recontextualize strategically. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be B2C, fractal or to be customer-directed? Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be real-world? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our global obfuscation and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Joshua is the industry leader of short-term fractal, sexy portals. What does the term "long-term" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XML. Without iteration, you will lack process management. The content factor is collaborative. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. It comes off as perplexing, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our one-to-one, frictionless, reconfigurable extensible bandwidth metrics but our capability to expedite. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We believe we know that if you generate dynamically then you may also e-enable efficiently. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and HTTP. What does it really mean to redefine "ultra-cyber-intuitively"?