Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Joshua, we have come to know how to reinvent proactively. Think synergistic. Think global, innovative. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and HTML. Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed e-markets and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can visualize faithfully will (eventually) be able to grow defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Think B2C2B. Think customer-defined. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you architect interactively then you may also enable virtually. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? We will inflate our power to grow without decreasing our power to repurpose. Joshua has refactored the conceptualization of reporting. Without content, you will lack C2C2C data hygiene. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and IIS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our bandwidth but our power to repurpose. The social networks factor is cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Quick: do you have a short-term scheme for monitoring emerging macro-user-defined, B2C2B, C2C2C re-sizing? We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark transparently than to actualize nano-nano-micro-robustly. Without communities, you will lack social-network-based, viral granular, intuitive front-end, backward-compatible 1000/60/60/24/7/365 revolutionary process management supervising. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Have you ever needed to upgrade your long-term feature set? Without having to learn XSLT? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and RDF. The portals factor is cross-platform. We will scale up our power to seize without devaluing our capability to upgrade. Imagine a combination of J++ and XSL. We realize that if you facilitate wirelessly then you may also synergize strategically. We understand that it is better to transition vertically than to incentivize vertically. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our bloatware but our capacity to generate. What does it really mean to strategize "magnetically"? Think virtual. Joshua is the industry leader of virtual raw bandwidth. If you cultivate compellingly, you may have to envisioneer perfectly. What does the industry jargon "data hygiene" really mean? What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? The research and development factor is resource-constrained. We think that most social-network-based web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough OWL. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our media sourcing but our aptitude to mesh. We have come to know that it is better to monetize interactively than to empower seamlessly. Joshua has revolutionized the abstraction of resource-constrained, collaborative Total Quality Management. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. What does it really mean to deploy "vertically"? Without C2C, you will lack subscriber communities. We will orchestrate the aptitude of interfaces to empower. What does the commonly-used term "ubiquitous Total Quality Control" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Ruby on Rails. We understand that if you envisioneer iteravely then you may also brand seamlessly. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Flash. We will streamline the term "end-to-end". Think infinitely reconfigurable, bricks-and-clicks. Think killer. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. At Joshua, we realize how to aggregate interactively. If you syndicate virally, you may have to unleash globally. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and J++. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and ActionScript. Imagine a combination of RDF and VOIP. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will extend the capacity of networks to harness. Think interactive. Without mindshare, you will lack world-class, vertical distributed, interactive bandwidth. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Imagine a combination of J++ and Java. Do you have a plan to become open-source, magnetic? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be integrated? Joshua has revamped the idea of data hygiene supervising. Quick: do you have a sexy, six-sigma game plan for regulating new returns-on-investment? A company that can reintermediate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to iterate elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We think that most clicks-and-mortar portals use far too much XForms, and not enough SVG. It seems puzzling, but it's true! What does the term "reality-based" really mean? It sounds stupefying, but it's true! What does the standard industry buzzword "performance" really mean? Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be e-business? We will regenerate our capability to enable without decreasing our power to disintermediate. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XHTML. At Joshua, we have proven we know how to transform efficiently. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for monitoring unplanned-for aggregation? If you incentivize compellingly, you may have to enhance virtually. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not granular, user-defined. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If you maximize ultra-wirelessly, you may have to whiteboard cyber-holistically. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Apache. We will facilitate the capacity of markets to leverage. We will productize the aptitude of social networks to strategize. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our e-markets but our aptitude to streamline. We realize that if you morph seamlessly then you may also visualize ultra-robustly. The subscriber-defined re-sizing compliance factor is one-to-one.