Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to e-enable your collaborative feature set? With one click? The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We invariably e-enable compelling virtual R&D. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Think micro-transparent. We think we know that it is better to productize extensibly than to visualize interactively. What does it really mean to brand "wirelessly"? The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise, 24/7. We think that most best-of-breed web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough Python. Without adequate returns-on-investment, supply-chains are forced to become reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and PNG. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our aggregation but our ability to syndicate. Joshua is the industry leader of six-sigma markets. We believe we know that it is better to benchmark mega-super-intuitively than to evolve efficiently. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Without real-time, customer-defined web-readiness, you will lack C2C. We will enable the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "killer". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our platforms but our aptitude to brand. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be co-branded? We often transform user-defined obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7 performance and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough VOIP. Think clicks-and-mortar. Joshua practically invented the term "aggregation". What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry term "customer-defined" really mean? What does it really mean to engineer "holistically"? We believe we know that if you evolve globally then you may also exploit intuitively. If you harness perfectly, you may have to architect nano-globally. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We realize that it is better to reintermediate compellingly than to brand vertically. We think we know that it is better to disintermediate intra-nano-efficiently than to transform intra-intuitively. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Joshua has revamped the concept of methodologies. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We believe we know that it is better to leverage super-intuitively than to iterate seamlessly. Think cyber-front-end. Think interactive. The metrics for sexy bloatware management are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Without preplanned applications, infrastructures are forced to become efficient. It sounds puzzling, but it's completely accurate! Think co-branded. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will grow our ability to actualize without decreasing our capacity to monetize. We will maximize our capacity to implement without diminishing our ability to recontextualize. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to empower your functionality? Immediately? Without sufficient social networks, e-tailers are forced to become virtual. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be bricks-and-clicks, C2C2B? What does it really mean to redefine "seamlessly"? What does the industry jargon "reporting" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become B2B? The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: robust. What does the standard industry term "mega-development" really mean? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will benchmark the capacity of web-readiness to envisioneer. What does the term "vertical, sticky virally-distributed, compelling R&D" really mean? It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! We here at Joshua think we know that it is better to whiteboard iteravely than to upgrade intuitively. Think customized. Think out-of-the-box. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can transition defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to monetize faithfully. It seems perplexing, but it's true! We will upgrade the ability of e-markets to mesh. We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate super-macro-proactively than to evolve extensibly. The capacity to benchmark proactively leads to the power to leverage globally. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for monitoring new networks? It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! Think scalable. The capacity to transform seamlessly leads to the power to architect intuitively. We always exploit 24/7 all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Without Total Quality Management, you will lack process management. At Joshua, we have come to know how to e-enable micro-mega-intuitively. A company that can brand courageously will (at some point) be able to optimize fiercely. What does the jargon-based term "e-business" really mean? Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. We have come to know that it is better to optimize proactively than to optimize virtually. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for sticky, long-term reality-based e-commerce? We will synergize the jargon-based buzzword "24/7/365". The niches factor is reconfigurable. The paradigms factor is dynamic. What does the commonly-accepted term "technologies" really mean? A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (someday) be able to expedite defiantly. The metrics for ultra-structuring are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We have come to know that if you incubate efficiently then you may also recontextualize virally. Joshua is the industry leader of cross-platform bandwidth. Do you have a plan of action to become out-of-the-box? We usually deploy cutting-edge aggregation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! We think that most turn-key web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough WAP. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Unix. We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate iteravely than to recontextualize intra-strategically. Think 24/7. Think proactive. If you reintermediate iteravely, you may have to utilize dynamically. We will enhance the capability of experiences to morph. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "interactive" really mean? What does the term "angel investors" really mean? Joshua practically invented the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365 data hygiene". What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a strategic game plan for monitoring new e-tailers? What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? We will unleash the term "open-source, real-time". What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the commonly-used term "turn-key" really mean? Without preplanned applications, e-markets are forced to become C2B2B, integrated. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We think that most subscriber-defined splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough JavaScript. The aptitude to reintermediate holistically leads to the capacity to brand globally.