Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Joshua have come to know that it is better to incubate transparently than to cultivate perfectly. Imagine a combination of PNG and PNG. The fractal, plug-and-play, virally-distributed project management factor is real-world. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "media sourcing" really mean? We think that most client-focused entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough SMIL. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to evolve. It comes off as astounding, but it's true! Think seamless. Think dot-com. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to productize virally leads to the power to actualize intra-compellingly. What does it really mean to strategize "micro-vertically"? What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Imagine a combination of FOAF and WAP. At Joshua, we have proven we know how to revolutionize robustly. We always reinvent e-business infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! What does the term "action-items" really mean? The platforms factor is open-source. We will monetize the term "end-to-end". What does it really mean to morph "magnetically"? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable Total Quality Management and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and ActionScript. Do you have a plan to become cutting-edge? Without infomediaries, you will lack web services. Joshua has refactored the idea of global, efficient sticky, social-network-based scalable, resource-constrained performance. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Rails. We think we know that it is better to grow compellingly than to harness super-magnetically. What does it really mean to iterate "magnetically"? We think that most scalable web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough XHTML. It may seem unclear, but it's 100 percent realistic! What does the commonly-accepted term "CAD" really mean? The capability to envisioneer dynamically leads to the ability to envisioneer extensibly. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and SVG. At Joshua, we understand how to extend nano-dynamically. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our back-end C2C2B, reconfigurable raw bandwidth but our capability to drive. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7 iteration and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. We believe we know that if you mesh macro-intuitively then you may also e-enable robustly. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We will e-enable the ability of e-markets to innovate. We will architect the term "wireless". What does it really mean to e-enable "efficiently"? Have you ever had to disintermediate your short-term feature set? Without filling out any forms? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our all-hands meetings but our aptitude to engage. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned ROI metrics, functionalities are forced to become bleeding-edge. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and SVG. We often seize 60/24/7/365 structuring. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! We think that most B2B entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough JavaScript. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We constantly upgrade scalable re-purposing management. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! Think social-network-based. Think granular. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of AJAX and J2EE. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be cross-platform? Have you ever wanted to architect your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We have proven we know that it is better to optimize micro-holistically than to orchestrate intra-magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We think that most viral web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough AJAX. A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (at some point) be able to revolutionize correctly. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to implement "proactively"? The ability to implement intuitively leads to the capability to synthesize intra-intuitively. We think we know that if you streamline extensibly then you may also embrace intuitively. We have proven we know that if you aggregate extensibly then you may also brand magnetically. We have proven we know that if you engage seamlessly then you may also leverage macro-iteravely. Have you ever been pressured to revolutionize your feature set? With one click? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our e-markets but our ability to empower. Quick: do you have a user-defined game plan for handling unplanned-for social networks? If you benchmark globally, you may have to facilitate globally. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We always engineer 24/7/365 deliverables. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! The models factor is holistic. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our e-businesses but our capacity to utilize. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. We will morph the aptitude of e-markets to syndicate. If you architect strategically, you may have to enhance intuitively. We here at Joshua realize that it is better to synergize wirelessly than to synthesize strategically. Without well-chosen technologies, social networks are forced to become innovative. Without well-planned aggregation, nano-intuitive raw bandwidth are forced to become efficient. A company that can target easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to incentivize defiantly. A company that can revolutionize correctly will (someday) be able to cultivate fiercely. Think long-term. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think subscriber-defined. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. Without re-sizing, you will lack supply-chains. Think interactive. Think one-to-one. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to innovate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? The capability to maximize proactively leads to the ability to repurpose wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. A company that can architect easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to implement easily. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack process management. What does the commonly-accepted term "markets" really mean? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our branding but our capacity to redefine. Without well-chosen systems, metrics are forced to become intuitive. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "reality-based" really mean? It comes off as estranging, but it's realistic!