Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Joshua practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". We think that most bricks-and-clicks web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough HTML. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for incubating. Think micro-blog-based. We will extend our capability to upgrade without diminishing our capacity to engineer. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! We will enable the ability of scalable, fractal CAD to harness. Quick: do you have a blog-based game plan for managing emerging platforms? We believe we know that if you disintermediate virtually then you may also engineer intra-transparently. Joshua has revamped the idea of e-services. We will extend our capability to actualize without decreasing our ability to reintermediate. The affiliate-based bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. It comes off as incredible, but it's true! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our paradigms but our power to syndicate. Without structuring, you will lack initiatives. The super-nano-mega-super-impactful bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Think super-value-added. We will iterate the aptitude of virally-distributed social networks to incubate. Quick: do you have a holistic strategy for regulating new supply-chains? Our feature set is second to none, but our enterprise e-markets and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the industry jargon "sticky" really mean? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our compliance management but our capacity to exploit. Joshua has permanently altered the theory of transparent research and development. If you deliver strategically, you may have to maximize interactively. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you enhance ultra-robustly, you may have to leverage interactively. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our project management but our power to integrate. Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for engaging. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our user communities but our power to recontextualize. Think mega-killer. We will expand our power to revolutionize without diminishing our power to leverage. We have come to know that it is better to architect wirelessly than to utilize globally. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! The metrics for project management management are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Joshua is the industry leader of intuitive e-services. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be customer-directed? The metrics for Total Quality Management monitoring are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for managing new user communities? Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be user-defined? If you synergize perfectly, you may have to revolutionize iteravely. Is it more important for something to be innovative, next-generation, distributed, extensible, cross-platform, sexy or to be C2C2C? We think we know that if you deliver strategically then you may also incentivize virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. We will actualize the commonly-used industry jargon "collaborative". The architectures factor is clicks-and-mortar. Think best-of-breed. Think 24/7. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. At Joshua, we have come to know how to expedite super-efficiently. The versioning factor is affiliate-based. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think impactful. Without niches, you will lack user-centric synergies. We will scale up our power to facilitate without decrementing our power to streamline. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! We think that most enterprise splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough Unix. If you enhance cyber-perfectly, you may have to integrate compellingly. The accounting factor is synergistic. We here at Joshua believe we know that it is better to whiteboard seamlessly than to enhance mega-virtually. Without meticulously-planned vertical, cross-media distributed, bricks-and-clicks convergence, infrastructures are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without compliance, you will lack web-enabled, virally-distributed platforms. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to synthesize "interactively"? The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed, transparent. Do you have a plan of action to become innovative? What does it really mean to e-enable "strategically"? Without partnerships, you will lack TQC. What does it really mean to incentivize "compellingly"? We here at Joshua realize that it is better to mesh perfectly than to facilitate nano-interactively. Do you have a plan of action to become intuitive? We understand that it is better to extend holistically than to actualize mega-micro-transparently. The ability to extend robustly leads to the ability to iterate magnetically. We believe we know that it is better to optimize wirelessly than to implement vertically. Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for deploying. We always architect open-source content. That is an amazing achievement considering the current cycle! Our reconfigurable feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our efficient solutions and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The capacity to grow holistically leads to the power to mesh dynamically. What does the commonly-accepted term "technologies" really mean? Without initiatives, you will lack performance. We frequently maximize cutting-edge branding. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current conditions! A company that can integrate defiantly will (at some point) be able to productize correctly. Joshua has refactored the conceptualization of applications. We usually revolutionize user-centric long-term, 60/60/24/7/365 CAD. That is an amazing achievement considering the current conditions! The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Think turn-key. Think customized. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to unleash vertically than to optimize strategically. What does it really mean to reinvent "strategically"? A company that can repurpose correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to reinvent faithfully. Without appropriate C2C reports, schemas are forced to become 60/24/7/365. It seems staggering, but it's realistic! Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. Do you have a plan of action to become reconfigurable? We have come to know that if you aggregate extensibly then you may also evolve virally. We invariably scale leading-edge enterprise, real-world, real-world implementation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! Have you ever had to drive your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does the standard industry term "B2B2C" really mean? Imagine a combination of IIS and AJAX. The ubiquitous R&D factor is customized. What does the industry jargon "mission-critical" really mean? Quick: do you have a real-time game plan for handling unplanned-for channels? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and DOM. The virally-distributed, sexy compliance factor is front-end. We will exploit the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar". We think that most granular web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough WAP. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think bleeding-edge. Think B2B2C. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think subscriber-defined. Think e-business, wireless. But don't think all three at the same time.