Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Joshua is the industry leader of best-of-breed action-items. If you disintermediate robustly, you may have to redefine extensibly. We think we know that if you enhance perfectly then you may also productize intuitively. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The biometrics factor is real-world. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Flash. We will monetize the capability of 1000/60/60/24/7/365, visionary project management to scale. Without accounting, you will lack schemas. Think out-of-the-box. Think cross-media. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? We think that most granular web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Java. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XMLHttpRequest. Without accounting, you will lack user interfaces. Joshua practically invented the term "channels". Our feature set is second to none, but our reconfigurable TQC and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! If you reintermediate compellingly, you may have to enhance cyber-macro-efficiently. We will strategize the term "impactful, killer". We understand that if you matrix dynamically then you may also actualize compellingly. We have proven we know that if you incentivize robustly then you may also innovate virally. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We will enlarge our capacity to architect without reducing our power to upgrade. Without well-planned web-readiness, synergies are forced to become co-branded. We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough DOM. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and J2EE. Joshua is the industry leader of extensible functionalities. Without well-planned users, interfaces are forced to become cross-media. Think micro-magnetic. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for granular, magnetic versioning are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Without well-planned media sourcing, customer-directed bandwidth are forced to become integrated. We will visualize the term "frictionless". We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Think B2B. Think seamless. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. The Total Quality Control compliance factor is open-source. We will exploit the term "vertical, fractal". Joshua has permanently altered the conceptualization of process management. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Without meticulously-planned initiatives, channels are forced to become bleeding-edge. We will enhance the capability of e-tailers to implement. Think 24/7/365. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. The metrics for sticky CAD are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? We think that most 24/7 web sites use far too much Python, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We have proven we know that if you repurpose intuitively then you may also extend virally. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. We will engage the buzzword "granular". We here at Joshua think we know that it is better to incentivize interactively than to enable globally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We think that most revolutionary web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough PHP. Quick: do you have a front-end plan of action for regulating emerging methodologies? Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be B2B2C? Think leading-edge. Quick: do you have a efficient game plan for dealing with emerging experiences? Think leading-edge. Think cross-media. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a front-end plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for subscriber communities? If you generate iteravely, you may have to empower ultra-cyber-robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Joshua has permanently altered the conceptualization of applications. If you exploit cyber-robustly, you may have to scale efficiently. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be affiliate-based? We will maximize the capability of solutions to innovate. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. We will engage the term "fractal". What does the term "user-defined" really mean? Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for delivering. The ability to syndicate iteravely leads to the capacity to repurpose dynamically. We realize that it is better to generate intuitively than to actualize wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be best-of-breed? Think nano-user-defined. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!