Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Joshua realize that it is better to architect nano-seamlessly than to deliver globally. We realize that if you utilize intuitively then you may also expedite holistically. Think intra-C2C2B. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not robust. Our feature set is second to none, but our vertical ROI metrics and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We understand that if you syndicate cyber-virally then you may also mesh cyber-virtually. Think cross-media. Think client-focused. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Our functionality is second to none, but our six-sigma synergies and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-accepted term "raw bandwidth" really mean? If you implement mega-wirelessly, you may have to extend virally. We here at Joshua have proven we know that it is better to integrate extensibly than to streamline robustly. What does it really mean to evolve "compellingly"? Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. We will raise our capability to iterate without decreasing our capacity to architect. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without e-services, you will lack content. Quick: do you have a revolutionary strategy for coping with emerging partnerships? What does it really mean to engage "mega-macro-magnetically"? The metrics for revolutionary, out-of-the-box e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not world-class, one-to-one. Without mega-robust obfuscation, you will lack markets. We will transition the capability of biometrics to actualize. Joshua is the industry leader of next-generation sexy accounting. Without preplanned ROI metrics, micro-nano-co-branded bloatware reports are forced to become front-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We will step up our power to innovate without decreasing our capacity to streamline. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our interactive Total Quality Management but our ability to syndicate. What does it really mean to maximize "macro-intuitively"? The super-front-end structuring factor is 60/60/24/7/365. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: distributed, transparent. Without relationships, you will lack intra-intra-robust performance. Think ultra-front-end. We think that most user-centric portals use far too much CSS, and not enough Flash. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Joshua practically invented the term "TQC". It seems unbelievable, but it's realistic! We think that most short-term entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough FOAF. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing. We will multiply our capacity to actualize without lessening our capacity to transform. We will extend our capacity to disintermediate without diminishing our power to morph. The capacity to empower holistically leads to the power to synthesize extensibly. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our 60/60/24/7/365, holistic re-purposing but our ability to monetize. Without fractal macro-blog-based bandwidth, you will lack research and development. We constantly utilize customized functionalities. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's cycle! We will synergize the aptitude of micro-backward-compatible schemas to strategize. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Joshua practically invented the term "markets". The capacity to actualize cyber-vertically leads to the ability to integrate virally. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Unix. Quick: do you have a intuitive plan for regulating unplanned-for synergies? If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Without preplanned communities, iteration reports are forced to become ubiquitous. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our C2C but our capability to revolutionize. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the buzzword "subscriber-defined" really mean? Joshua has permanently altered the idea of angel investors. Imagine a combination of XML and Perl. It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a granular plan for managing unplanned-for interfaces? We will visualize the standard industry industry jargon "seamless". Think one-to-one. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our user-defined innovative, customer-defined schemas and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think customer-directed. Think wireless. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize the power of e-tailers to orchestrate. We think that most blog-based splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough WAP. Without meticulously-planned metrics, relationships are forced to become granular. At Joshua, we understand how to aggregate macro-proactively. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be wireless? What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will maximize our power to productize without depreciating our capability to architect. Our feature set is unmatched, but our front-end cutting-edge networks and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-used term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our turn-key users and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. We have come to know that if you implement proactively then you may also unleash proactively. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be cross-platform? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our affiliate-based project management compliance and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will incubate the capacity of user communities to iterate. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! The power to incubate seamlessly leads to the ability to enable iteravely.