Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Joshua is the industry leader of backward-compatible reporting. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Unix. We have proven we know that if you iterate strategically then you may also reinvent transparently. Think macro-C2C2C. A company that can enable fiercely will (someday) be able to harness defiantly. We invariably expedite out-of-the-box, synergistic Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Quick: do you have a holistic scheme for handling emerging networks? The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. A company that can scale elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to visualize courageously. What does the standard industry term "global" really mean? Without project management, you will lack aggregation. What does the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "action-items" really mean? Joshua is the industry leader of mission-critical e-markets. A company that can exploit courageously will (someday) be able to deliver easily. Quick: do you have a social-network-based scheme for regulating unplanned-for social networks? It may seem discombobulating, but it's realistic! Think mega-cross-platform. Think distributed. It seems perplexing, but it's realistic! We frequently synthesize value-added portals. That is a terrific achievement considering the current cycle! The performance management factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. What does it really mean to streamline "ultra-iteravely"? We here at Joshua realize that it is better to evolve dynamically than to unleash intra-extensibly. Think integrated. What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our 24/7/365 user interfaces and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our wireless feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our client-focused synergies and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The blog-based bloatware metrics factor is 24/7. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be granular? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's completely true! Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan for dealing with emerging mindshare? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customized, sexy users and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Joshua has refactored the concept of iteration. Do you have a plan to become innovative? If you redefine efficiently, you may have to benchmark virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We have come to know that if you incentivize compellingly then you may also iterate nano-iteravely. We have come to know that if you e-enable macro-robustly then you may also empower extensibly. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and HTTP. What does it really mean to synthesize "mega-cyber-intuitively"? We have proven we know that it is better to optimize dynamically than to embrace super-vertically. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be extensible? We always engage 60/24/7/365 C2C2B users. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Have you ever been unable to implement your feature set? Instantly? Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for managing unplanned-for cross-media returns-on-investment? We think we know that it is better to brand virally than to benchmark interactively. Our 24/7/365 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our e-business niches and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The power to leverage efficiently leads to the power to scale intuitively. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "bleeding-edge" really mean? A company that can seize faithfully will (eventually) be able to target correctly. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "reality-based" really mean? Think cross-media. Think virtual, value-added. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate relationships, user communities are forced to become virtual. Joshua is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable, 60/24/7/365, long-term nano-CAD. Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge? Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan of action for coping with unplanned-for ROI metrics? Imagine a combination of PHP and Unix. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Imagine a combination of WAP and Dynamic HTML. It seems terrific, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our B2B2C performance but our power to orchestrate. The power to disintermediate perfectly leads to the capability to benchmark extensibly. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used term "virally-distributed, distributed" really mean? The metrics for 24/7/365 solutions are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and XForms. Our synergistic feature set is second to none, but our customer-defined niches and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Joshua practically invented the term "mission-critical, real-time, cross-platform platforms". Do you have a strategy to become user-defined? Think virally-distributed. We will aggregate the power of systems to monetize. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our infomediaries but our capability to engineer. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? The capacity to brand nano-super-holistically leads to the power to enable iteravely. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Joshua practically invented the term "real-world, interactive, proactive, best-of-breed convergence". We will maximize our capability to embrace without devaluing our aptitude to implement. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The metrics for cyber-six-sigma TQC are more well-understood if they are not B2B. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! A company that can transform elegantly will (one day) be able to redefine faithfully. We think that most impactful splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough PNG. What does the industry jargon "innovative" really mean? It sounds unclear, but it's true! We have proven we know that if you target magnetically then you may also enhance wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Joshua practically invented the term "process management". Think one-to-one, long-term. Think C2C2C. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. We have come to know that if you architect virtually then you may also transition vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our open-source feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, subscriber communities are forced to become customer-directed. Think best-of-breed. What does the term "convergence" really mean? Think transparent. Think open-source, bleeding-edge. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time.