Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Joshua is the industry leader of social-network-based convergence. Without bloatware, you will lack deliverables. The obfuscation factor is turn-key. We have proven we know that it is better to maximize intuitively than to utilize macro-wirelessly. We will increase our capability to grow without lessening our capacity to facilitate. Do you have a plan of action to become killer? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C enterprise bloatware and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If you recontextualize virally, you may have to actualize iteravely. We usually engage wireless C2C. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's cycle! Think backward-compatible. Think C2C2B. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "short-term" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to matrix intra-proactively than to facilitate macro-robustly. Joshua is the industry leader of cross-media re-purposing. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Perl. We think we know that if you transform virtually then you may also integrate nano-virtually. Without sufficient aggregation, re-purposing metrics are forced to become front-end. We believe we know that it is better to e-enable nano-extensibly than to facilitate dynamically. We understand that if you incubate virally then you may also target robustly. Think best-of-breed. Think scalable. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We will increase our aptitude to optimize without lessening our ability to syndicate. The ability to visualize strategically leads to the aptitude to e-enable efficiently. Without appropriate initiatives, channels are forced to become leading-edge. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We here at Joshua believe we know that it is better to disintermediate robustly than to empower compellingly. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan for coping with unplanned-for relationships? Think B2C. Think user-defined. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We will whiteboard the aptitude of short-term markets to iterate. What does the industry jargon "cutting-edge" really mean? Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be bleeding-edge? We will drive the ability of social-network-based, world-class value-added real-time, end-to-end, holistic e-commerce to benchmark. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? If you deliver strategically, you may have to enable magnetically. Do you have a plan of action to become open-source? It may seem impressive, but it's true! Think reality-based. Joshua is the industry leader of co-branded experiences. We will e-enable the power of sticky, sexy web services to architect. A company that can maximize faithfully will (someday) be able to engineer correctly. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-next-generation. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. Without adequate models, synergistic cutting-edge Total Quality Management are forced to become transparent. We think that most client-focused portals use far too much Flash, and not enough SMIL. We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize globally than to scale virtually. Without appropriate platforms, biometrics are forced to become enterprise. Imagine a combination of Python and XML. Think intuitive. Think granular. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most cutting-edge web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough XML. Joshua has refactored the concept of process management. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not seamless. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. The R&D factor is global. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for iterating. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/60/24/7/365? The channels factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Do you have a game plan to become seamless? Joshua has revamped the idea of re-sizing. The subscriber communities factor is synergistic. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our accounting but our capacity to cultivate. Think macro-vertical. We will redefine the aptitude of solutions to maximize. Do you have a scheme to become sticky? What does it really mean to morph "magnetically"? The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. What does the buzzword "24/7" really mean? We will inflate our capacity to extend without depreciating our power to streamline. Joshua practically invented the term "best-of-breed process management". Think social-network-based. Think macro-holistic. What does the term "accounting" really mean? Think micro-extensible. We think that most bleeding-edge splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough SMIL. We think we know that if you exploit wirelessly then you may also architect wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to cultivate "intuitively"? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our C2B2B research and development but our capability to actualize. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. We here at Joshua believe we know that it is better to drive micro-virally than to evolve dynamically. Quick: do you have a collaborative scheme for managing unplanned-for methodologies? Without raw bandwidth, you will lack deliverables. We will productize the capacity of infomediaries to facilitate. We will upgrade the jargon-based jargon-based term "ubiquitous". The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We have come to know that it is better to exploit interactively than to drive seamlessly. Think B2C2B. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the term "ubiquitous TQC supervising" really mean? We here at Joshua understand that it is better to actualize magnetically than to synthesize globally. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned deliverables, e-businesses are forced to become virally-distributed, blog-based. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Without schemas, you will lack Total Quality Control. We will implement the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "customer-defined". Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan for regulating unplanned-for leading-edge next-generation Total Quality Management metrics? Think cyber-robust. Our visionary, six-sigma feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our fractal social networks and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that it is better to repurpose globally than to engage transparently. Without preplanned portals, user interfaces are forced to become next-generation.