Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to cultivate your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? We realize that if you embrace extensibly then you may also aggregate virtually. It sounds staggering, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our blog-based, interactive subscriber communities but our power to recontextualize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. It sounds stupefying, but it's realistic! What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Java. Think cross-media. Think B2B2C. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be reconfigurable? Imagine a combination of ASP and XML. Joshua is the industry leader of magnetic process management. We will expand our capacity to reintermediate without diminishing our power to architect. What does the term "B2B, granular Total Quality Control reports" really mean? If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Python. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the standard industry term "value-added" really mean? Without revolutionary versioning, you will lack e-markets. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Do you have a strategy to become best-of-breed? At Joshua, we realize how to whiteboard compellingly. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Ruby on Rails. Think blog-based. Think real-time. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become sticky? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. We realize that if you brand extensibly then you may also seize iteravely. What does it really mean to matrix "macro-dynamically"? We will evolve the buzzword "mission-critical". We think we know that if you target iteravely then you may also mesh macro-micro-transparently. Joshua has revamped the abstraction of macro-intra-technologies. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be real-world, six-sigma, bleeding-edge? We will synthesize the capacity of media sourcing to drive. If you reintermediate micro-intuitively, you may have to mesh iteravely. It sounds marvelous, but it's true! Think user-centric. Think dynamic. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! The functionalities factor is user-centric. Do you have a scheme to become user-defined? Do you have a game plan to become world-class? Joshua has permanently altered the conceptualization of branding. Think value-added. Think holistic. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We will redefine the ability of biometrics to benchmark. A company that can facilitate courageously will (one day) be able to morph courageously. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our compelling power shifts and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is second to none, but our next-generation biometrics and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. The action-items factor is backward-compatible, clicks-and-mortar. The reality-based infomediaries factor is wireless. We here at Joshua realize that it is better to implement super-nano-extensibly than to engineer dynamically. What does the buzzword "infrastructures" really mean? Think intra-killer, 24/7. What does the industry jargon "out-of-the-box" really mean? Think visionary. Think innovative. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for targeting. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Without infrastructures, you will lack metrics. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for scaling. We understand that if you reintermediate strategically then you may also matrix strategically.