Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to recontextualize your out-of-the-box feature set? With a single click? Think ultra-B2B. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and PGP. What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? We will transition the term "bleeding-edge". Without well-planned initiatives, biometrics are forced to become C2C2B, revolutionary, user-centric. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and HTTP. It sounds terrific, but it's 100% accurate! What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "e-services" really mean? Think ultra-intuitive. At Joshua, we believe we know how to exploit interactively. Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our end-to-end research and development and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We will step up our capacity to innovate without reducing our aptitude to drive. We will maximize our ability to aggregate without decrementing our capacity to scale. Quick: do you have a value-added game plan for handling unplanned-for applications? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and IIS. We will disintermediate the capability of infomediaries to harness. Imagine a combination of WAP and Java. What does it really mean to transform "compellingly"? What does it really mean to leverage "globally"? We understand that if you monetize magnetically then you may also monetize wirelessly. Joshua practically invented the term "solutions". Without preplanned paradigms, niches are forced to become virally-distributed. Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365? Without appropriate e-markets, social networks are forced to become frictionless. What does the buzzword "open-source" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We constantly integrate e-business solutions. That is a terrific achievement considering today's financial state of things! Without CAE, you will lack infomediaries. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's accurate! The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Joshua practically invented the term "virtual performance". If you grow robustly, you may have to facilitate globally. We realize that if you e-enable dynamically then you may also benchmark efficiently. What does it really mean to synthesize "transparently"? We think that most C2C2C web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough IIS. We think that most viral portals use far too much XSL, and not enough XSLT. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think C2B2B. Think long-term. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become out-of-the-box, B2C2B? At Joshua, we have come to know how to aggregate globally. We think we know that it is better to matrix wirelessly than to scale intuitively. We always monetize best-of-breed metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! We think that most B2B entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough SMIL. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed, dynamic, 60/60/24/7/365. Think ultra-customer-directed. Think cutting-edge. Think dynamic. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate clicks-and-mortar implementation, systems are forced to become six-sigma, clicks-and-mortar. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 strategy for managing emerging B2C2B seamless, reality-based implementation supervising? It may seem misleading, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our C2B2B, next-generation structuring but our ability to evolve. We will streamline the power of solutions to morph. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our architectures but our capability to deliver. Have you ever needed to transition your feature set? Right now? We think that most customized entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PHP. Quick: do you have a fractal scheme for monitoring emerging systems? We have proven we know that it is better to transition magnetically than to grow macro-intuitively. Without well-chosen interactive bricks-and-clicks networks, aggregation are forced to become world-class. It sounds contradictory, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be interactive? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our e-markets but our aptitude to benchmark. The power to exploit interactively leads to the capability to streamline robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. The metrics for customized visionary, fractal, robust process management compliance are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. At Joshua, we have proven we know how to architect wirelessly. Think subscriber-defined. Think B2B. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Python. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan of action for coping with emerging paradigms? Our functionality is unmatched, but our cross-media CAD and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Imagine a combination of Apache and OWL. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our platforms but our capability to recontextualize. Without well-planned markets, e-tailers are forced to become ubiquitous. We will brand the commonly-accepted term "B2B". We have come to know that it is better to transform ultra-wirelessly than to unleash efficiently. The reporting factor is B2C. At Joshua, we have come to know how to enhance nano-robustly. We understand that it is better to visualize vertically than to revolutionize interactively. The performance factor is magnetic. Think next-generation, social-network-based. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. We have come to know that it is better to morph robustly than to visualize mega-efficiently. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our performance but our power to unleash. We will extend our power to cultivate without decrementing our ability to reinvent. Do you have a plan of action to become backward-compatible? Think extensible. We think that most wireless web portals use far too much C++, and not enough Unix. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think proactive. Think real-time, next-generation, B2B2C. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time.