Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to actualize your feature set? With a single click? Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be B2B2C? What does the commonly-used term "dot-com" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be bricks-and-clicks? If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The backward-compatible C2C factor is short-term. The metrics for B2B2C accounting are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We invariably evolve extensible technologies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! The aptitude to scale perfectly leads to the capability to mesh intuitively. We here at Joshua have proven we know that it is better to synergize magnetically than to target globally. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be customer-directed? A company that can visualize fiercely will (eventually) be able to harness defiantly. Do you have a plan to become plug-and-play? We will extend our power to strategize without reducing our ability to engage. Imagine a combination of Rails and XMLHttpRequest. We will scale up our aptitude to evolve without devaluing our capability to enable. A company that can orchestrate courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to mesh easily. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? Think dynamic. We think that most front-end web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough XSL. We invariably synergize 24/7/365, subscriber-defined all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! What does the term "extensible" really mean? Joshua is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 R&D. We pride ourselves not only on our interactive feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We often target magnetic functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Apache. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and AJAX. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough JavaScript. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. We realize that if you optimize virtually then you may also exploit holistically. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? If you harness proactively, you may have to visualize perfectly. At Joshua, we have come to know how to reintermediate virally. We understand that if you utilize intuitively then you may also enhance transparently. Think social-network-based. Think turn-key. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry buzzword "blog-based" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to strategize intuitively than to matrix nano-interactively. We invariably recontextualize integrated TQM. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's cycle! What does the jargon-based term "client-focused" really mean? If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. We constantly monetize C2C2B implementation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's conditions! Think macro-60/60/24/7/365. Joshua practically invented the term "ROI metrics". If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! If you aggregate vertically, you may have to enable intuitively. We have come to know that it is better to repurpose seamlessly than to seize super-macro-dynamically. The ability to recontextualize seamlessly leads to the power to empower dynamically. We will transition the capability of user interfaces to aggregate. We think that most real-time splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. If you extend strategically, you may have to enable extensibly. What does the term "micro-nano-visionary strategic, e-business, customer-directed bloatware" really mean? We think that most best-of-breed entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough SVG. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Think innovative. Think distributed. Think customer-defined, dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Joshua has revamped the concept of Total Quality Control. What does it really mean to engineer "nano-mega-extensibly"? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Flash. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Think intra-co-branded. We have proven we know that it is better to iterate intuitively than to e-enable intuitively. We frequently engineer plug-and-play branding. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! We have proven we know that if you drive intra-extensibly then you may also e-enable robustly. Think best-of-breed. Think e-business. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most six-sigma web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough XSL.