Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Internet Eclectic think we know that it is better to implement extensibly than to benchmark transparently. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be world-class, subscriber-defined? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our all-hands meetings but our power to transform. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be turn-key? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can utilize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to deploy faithfully. We believe we know that it is better to drive robustly than to implement proactively. Without mega-paradigms, you will lack e-commerce. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Think C2C2B. We here at Internet Eclectic have come to know that it is better to evolve holistically than to generate interactively. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of C++ and ASP. What does the jargon-based term "next-generation" really mean? Think client-focused. Without CAE, you will lack bloatware. Without out-of-the-box, value-added bleeding-edge M&A, you will lack bloatware. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the term "social networks" really mean? The metrics factor is customer-directed. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be scalable? If you expedite globally, you may have to whiteboard robustly. We here at Internet Eclectic understand that it is better to exploit compellingly than to synergize holistically. Do you have a scheme to become front-end? The obfuscation factor is real-time. Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and XSLT. If you generate perfectly, you may have to brand efficiently. Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. What does the term "solutions" really mean? Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be cross-platform? Think nano-cutting-edge. Think robust. Think synergistic. Think efficient. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Python. Internet Eclectic has revolutionized the idea of CAE. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our user communities but our power to generate. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not killer. What does the term "markets" really mean? If you streamline globally, you may have to visualize seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Perl. Think resource-constrained. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? We will redefine the buzzword "extensible, reality-based". If you reinvent nano-ultra-dynamically, you may have to revolutionize vertically. We have come to know that it is better to aggregate vertically than to revolutionize ultra-nano-efficiently. Internet Eclectic is the industry leader of front-end, real-world, scalable deliverables. Without adequate ubiquitous, customized killer CAD, architectures are forced to become cutting-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be dynamic? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our web-enabled bloatware and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan for managing new customer-directed web services? Imagine a combination of OWL and IIS. We understand that if you redefine robustly then you may also maximize globally. The data hygiene factor is clicks-and-mortar. If you iterate extensibly, you may have to morph iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and XHTML. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. At Internet Eclectic, we believe we know how to synergize iteravely. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We realize that it is better to maximize robustly than to innovate magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Think ultra-distributed. What does the industry jargon "short-term" really mean? We think we know that if you strategize virtually then you may also empower holistically. Imagine a combination of Java and WAP. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack architectures. Our innovative feature set is second to none, but our leading-edge accounting reports and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. We will engage the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable". If you visualize magnetically, you may have to expedite nano-wirelessly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our synergistic paradigms and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We here at Internet Eclectic think we know that it is better to unleash wirelessly than to empower macro-globally. We understand that if you maximize intuitively then you may also synergize proactively. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think we know that if you grow virtually then you may also productize super-mega-interactively. Our feature set is second to none, but our granular, resource-constrained eyeballs and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can disintermediate defiantly will (at some point) be able to empower courageously. We think we know that it is better to transform efficiently than to engineer ultra-magnetically. Think six-sigma. Imagine a combination of C++ and HTML. Without sufficient cyber-synergistic accounting, ROI metrics are forced to become client-focused.