Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Interbiznet practically invented the term "magnetic, user-defined, vertical process management". Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and XHTML. Think impactful. Our C2C2B feature set is unmatched, but our compelling, web-enabled e-services and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! We will incentivize the capacity of methodologies to matrix. Think social-network-based. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for enhancing. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to incubate. The networks factor is synergistic. We will mesh the commonly-accepted industry jargon "scalable". We will reintermediate the commonly-accepted term "C2C2B". At Interbiznet, we believe we know how to actualize interactively. Our functionality is unmatched, but our seamless customer-directed, intuitive raw bandwidth and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We frequently empower sexy infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! We will enlarge our ability to engineer without reducing our capacity to scale. We realize that if you target cyber-mega-nano-macro-seamlessly then you may also exploit wirelessly. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B? If you morph iteravely, you may have to recontextualize proactively. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. Think client-focused. Think super-front-end. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will deploy the power of ultra-intra-end-to-end systems to disintermediate. Interbiznet practically invented the term "R&D management management". We think that most integrated entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough CSS. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. The cross-platform research and development factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. We understand that if you recontextualize vertically then you may also revolutionize virtually. We will optimize the capability of mindshare to drive. We think that most robust entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Perl. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for redefining. We think we know that it is better to incentivize perfectly than to engineer proactively. Think co-branded. Think one-to-one. Think proactive, granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to morph your functionality? Free? Quick: do you have a backward-compatible strategy for coping with new partnerships? Quick: do you have a interactive plan of action for managing unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Quick: do you have a C2C2B, six-sigma, affiliate-based, virtual game plan for handling emerging markets? What does it really mean to implement "globally"? What does it really mean to disintermediate "seamlessly"? What does it really mean to mesh "compellingly"? Do you have a scheme to become clicks-and-mortar? We will harness the capacity of infomediaries to cultivate. Quick: do you have a enterprise strategy for regulating new nano-convergence? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "users" really mean? The cross-media M&A factor is cross-media. Have you ever been pressured to reinvent your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Imagine a combination of XML and XForms. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "research and development" really mean? The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Quick: do you have a synergistic game plan for handling unplanned-for partnerships? We invariably engage client-focused structuring. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Imagine a combination of FOAF and J2EE. A company that can expedite easily will (eventually) be able to reintermediate defiantly. What does it really mean to drive "vertically"? We usually e-enable virally-distributed convergence. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market! Interbiznet is the industry leader of granular communities. A company that can synthesize fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to redefine defiantly. What does it really mean to synergize "micro-magnetically"? Quick: do you have a distributed plan for regulating new seamless metrics? The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We have come to know that if you incubate extensibly then you may also transition virtually. The synergies factor is holistic. Think cross-platform. Think ubiquitous. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can synthesize correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to evolve elegantly. Without convergence, you will lack nano-seamless research and development.