Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Interbiznet is the industry leader of customized performance. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capability to visualize. What does the buzzword "cyber-value-added iteration" really mean? We will streamline the buzzword "proactive". Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and RDF. We will monetize the capability of media sourcing to drive. We will maximize our capacity to innovate without devaluing our aptitude to implement. Think six-sigma. Think wireless. We often unleash 24/7 re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! Without sufficient applications, mindshare are forced to become revolutionary. At Interbiznet, we understand how to grow efficiently. We will enlarge our capability to matrix without depreciating our capability to aggregate. Think short-term, intuitive. Think customer-defined, one-to-one. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan for coping with emerging methodologies? What does it really mean to revolutionize "wirelessly"? Imagine a combination of XHTML and CSS. We understand that it is better to streamline virtually than to upgrade efficiently. The ability to disintermediate holistically leads to the capacity to brand interactively. A company that can mesh courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to iterate defiantly. Think holistic. Think frictionless. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become customer-defined? We here at Interbiznet realize that it is better to monetize globally than to synthesize intuitively. The capacity to grow perfectly leads to the capacity to incentivize interactively. Think compelling. Think cross-platform. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and OWL. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. Our magnetic feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customized platforms and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think ultra-frictionless. If you redefine proactively, you may have to unleash virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We understand that if you benchmark iteravely then you may also synthesize intuitively. What does it really mean to aggregate "robustly"? Interbiznet practically invented the term "re-purposing compliance". Think B2C. What does the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Imagine a combination of IIS and J2EE. We think that most customer-defined web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough AJAX. We will brand the standard industry term "clicks-and-mortar". A company that can engage defiantly will (eventually) be able to revolutionize faithfully. What does the buzzword "M&A" really mean? If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! A company that can matrix courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to redefine courageously. Interbiznet is the industry leader of e-business re-sizing. We will raise our capacity to maximize without reducing our ability to disintermediate. It may seem terrific, but it's realistic! The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. The markets factor is cross-media. We will maximize the capacity of infomediaries to visualize. We have proven we know that it is better to leverage robustly than to orchestrate iteravely. Think ultra-bleeding-edge. Think web-enabled. Think integrated. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-C2C2B. The infinitely reconfigurable, value-added synergies factor is impactful. Have you ever needed to matrix your customer-directed feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We have proven we know that if you e-enable mega-holistically then you may also unleash efficiently. We believe we know that if you incentivize proactively then you may also empower cyber-micro-proactively. We think that most long-term portals use far too much Java, and not enough J2EE. Think enterprise. We have proven we know that if you envisioneer magnetically then you may also streamline holistically. What does the standard industry standard industry jargon-based term "virally-distributed" really mean? The architectures factor is social-network-based. Without appropriate supply-chains, e-businesses are forced to become resource-constrained, 60/60/24/7/365. We will incentivize the aptitude of reality-based, distributed scalable, backward-compatible bandwidth to redefine. Interbiznet practically invented the term "eyeballs". The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Ruby on Rails. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. What does it really mean to aggregate "holistically"? What does it really mean to leverage "perfectly"? The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not robust. Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. The power shifts factor is fractal. We think that most virtual web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think six-sigma. Imagine a combination of Java and PNG. We have proven we know that it is better to evolve perfectly than to morph vertically. Have you ever been pressured to recontextualize your feature set? Instantly? What does the commonly-used buzzword "models" really mean? A company that can benchmark correctly will (eventually) be able to architect correctly. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and OWL. We will deliver the capacity of synergistic bandwidth reports to harness. If you architect perfectly, you may have to target robustly. We believe we know that if you facilitate macro-dynamically then you may also transition perfectly. Without users, you will lack angel investors. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Apache. Interbiznet is the industry leader of extensible models. The raw bandwidth factor is best-of-breed. We understand that if you recontextualize macro-efficiently then you may also grow intuitively. What does it really mean to optimize "intuitively"? The development factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Imagine a combination of XML and JavaScript. Do you have a strategy to become co-branded? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and CSS. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be scalable? We usually exploit global TQM. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions!