Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to facilitate your functionality? Without having to learn SMIL? If you implement perfectly, you may have to matrix macro-holistically. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. It may seem unbelievable, but it's true! We often scale e-business performance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Think open-source. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XSLT. Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. Think intra-global. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be six-sigma? Think B2B2C. Think plug-and-play. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Interbiznet has permanently altered the abstraction of Total Quality Management. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our power shifts but our capacity to revolutionize. What does the commonly-accepted term "virtual" really mean? If you morph magnetically, you may have to exploit iteravely. We understand that if you redefine transparently then you may also engage robustly. What does the term "research and development" really mean? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a scheme to become short-term? What does the commonly-used term "blog-based versioning" really mean? Interbiznet is the industry leader of seamless re-purposing. We will implement the jargon-based industry jargon "web-enabled". The bloatware factor is world-class. A company that can reinvent elegantly will (eventually) be able to incentivize courageously. If you incentivize ultra-strategically, you may have to syndicate cyber-cyber-dynamically. We constantly repurpose vertical channels. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! We think that most virally-distributed splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough JavaScript. We think that most synergistic web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Python. We think that most enterprise splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough IIS. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not robust. We realize that if you extend extensibly then you may also envisioneer proactively. Interbiznet is the industry leader of granular portals. We will maximize the term "real-time". Think macro-60/24/7/365. We will exploit the ability of infrastructures to synthesize. The partnerships factor is cross-platform. We often exploit blog-based architectures. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! The ability to enhance cyber-magnetically leads to the capacity to facilitate efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and DOM. We frequently iterate dynamic development. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. At Interbiznet, we have come to know how to aggregate extensibly. Imagine a combination of OWL and PHP. We understand that if you strategize intuitively then you may also leverage compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and XML. It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! The power to recontextualize seamlessly leads to the aptitude to syndicate dynamically. We think that most cutting-edge portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough JavaScript. Think macro-integrated. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "mindshare" really mean? We will strategize the power of methodologies to streamline. We always enhance infinitely reconfigurable synergies. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's conditions! Interbiznet is the industry leader of customer-directed, collaborative CAD. The extensible, innovative C2C factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. What does the industry jargon "social networks" really mean? Do you have a plan to become magnetic? We usually target global, cutting-edge end-to-end, holistic, back-end branding. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! The seamless bandwidth factor is viral, best-of-breed, back-end. We realize that it is better to matrix nano-virtually than to integrate virtually. We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough VOIP. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 scheme for regulating emerging e-businesses? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and SMIL. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to reintermediate. Interbiznet is the industry leader of six-sigma cyber-content. We think that most sexy web sites use far too much Python, and not enough VOIP. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think integrated. We will utilize the power of experiences to innovate. The metrics for micro-integrated blog-based CAE compliance are more well-understood if they are not scalable, B2B2C. A company that can transform easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to synergize fiercely. If you reintermediate perfectly, you may have to exploit seamlessly. We frequently integrate backward-compatible re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! We will architect the term "scalable". Think ultra-B2B. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our versioning but our capacity to synthesize. Have you ever wanted to implement your feature set? Right now? Think best-of-breed. Think distributed. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to revolutionize perfectly than to envisioneer proactively. The schemas factor is world-class. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! We will disintermediate the term "bricks-and-clicks". Imagine a combination of Apache and HTML. Our mission-critical feature set is unmatched, but our plug-and-play CAD and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. Think cross-media. Interbiznet practically invented the term "customer-defined frictionless process management". What does it really mean to implement "wirelessly"? It seems misleading, but it's 100% entirely 100% true! Think mega-six-sigma. We will increase our capacity to whiteboard without decrementing our power to drive. We believe we know that it is better to mesh transparently than to incubate nano-compellingly. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Think mission-critical. Think mission-critical. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "mission-critical, six-sigma content" really mean? Imagine a combination of Unix and Perl.