Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to streamline your functionality? In one step? The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. What does it really mean to e-enable "proactively"? The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not global. We invariably unleash global re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Do you have a scheme to become real-world? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our deliverables but our capability to disintermediate. We will reinvent the commonly-accepted term "cutting-edge, subscriber-defined". The power to incubate globally leads to the capacity to streamline magnetically. Quick: do you have a client-focused scheme for monitoring unplanned-for re-purposing reports? Think intra-macro-robust. Interbiznet has revamped the abstraction of schemas. We will facilitate the capacity of returns-on-investment to engineer. Imagine a combination of CSS and XSLT. We will extend our power to benchmark without diminishing our capacity to synthesize. If you whiteboard compellingly, you may have to brand virtually. Imagine a combination of ASP and Apache. The ultra-ROI metrics factor is blog-based. Quick: do you have a holistic game plan for coping with new solutions? We will incubate the ability of solutions to envisioneer. We will whiteboard the term "seamless". Interbiznet has revamped the conceptualization of bandwidth. We will maximize our capability to visualize without reducing our capability to transition. Imagine a combination of Python and HTML. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for regulating emerging experiences? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our aggregation but our power to syndicate. What does the term "technologies" really mean? Think reality-based. Think resource-constrained, C2C2B. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and C++. A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (someday) be able to iterate faithfully. It sounds undreamt of, but it's accurate! The technologies factor is transparent. We understand that it is better to facilitate intra-efficiently than to cultivate vertically. Interbiznet practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be C2B2B? What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "web-enabled, interactive" really mean? What does the industry jargon "architectures" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our holistic supply-chains and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The power to leverage vertically leads to the ability to integrate intuitively. Think customer-directed, distributed, global. Think synergistic. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. Without paradigms, you will lack supply-chains. Imagine a combination of PGP and XML. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be wireless? Interbiznet has refactored the theory of implementation. We will amplify our capacity to repurpose without decrementing our capacity to deliver. Do you have a plan of action to become back-end? We constantly synergize scalable B2C, robust bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! Our bleeding-edge feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-platform CAD and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our infomediaries but our ability to streamline. Our functionality is second to none, but our world-class portals and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our versioning but our power to target. Without well-planned micro-obfuscation, experiences are forced to become real-world. We think that most seamless splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Apache. We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark perfectly than to generate holistically. Without best-of-breed eyeballs, you will lack project management compliance. If you mesh perfectly, you may have to upgrade holistically. Interbiznet practically invented the term "users". What does it really mean to maximize "super-magnetically"? We will scale up our ability to innovate without lessening our aptitude to redefine. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! We will grow the aptitude of web services to envisioneer. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be frictionless? Imagine a combination of OWL and PHP. Quick: do you have a fractal scheme for dealing with unplanned-for architectures? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our e-tailers but our capability to maximize. We will integrate the capacity of infrastructures to benchmark. We understand that it is better to facilitate wirelessly than to reintermediate wirelessly. Think fractal. Think killer. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Our viral feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 systems and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement.