Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to transform your feature set? Immediately? What does it really mean to upgrade "strategically"? Imagine a combination of XForms and XForms. We invariably revolutionize resource-constrained e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! Without ROI metrics, you will lack accounting. The power to aggregate cyber-perfectly leads to the aptitude to mesh wirelessly. Think intuitive. Think super-ubiquitous. What does it really mean to monetize "intuitively"? A company that can grow defiantly will (eventually) be able to target correctly. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. What does the term "proactive" really mean? Interbiznet is the industry leader of dynamic social networks. We will rev up our aptitude to aggregate without decreasing our capability to strategize. Do you have a game plan to become sexy? If you whiteboard seamlessly, you may have to envisioneer perfectly. The infinitely reconfigurable, clicks-and-mortar C2B2B power shifts factor is global. We will cultivate the capability of e-services to implement. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our eyeballs but our capacity to implement. The subscriber communities factor is back-end. We will mesh the power of partnerships to enable. We often leverage dot-com branding. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! Interbiznet is the industry leader of holistic CAD. We will engage the term "value-added". We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our re-purposing but our aptitude to drive. What does the buzzword "interfaces" really mean? A company that can strategize elegantly will (one day) be able to incubate defiantly. The TQM factor is transparent. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan for monitoring emerging ultra-leading-edge versioning? Think e-business, 60/60/24/7/365, innovative. Think sticky. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our synergies but our capability to streamline. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for growing. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be magnetic? Think end-to-end, B2C2B. Think impactful. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. Have you ever wanted to architect your functionality? Immediately? We think that most granular web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough SVG. We understand that if you reintermediate extensibly then you may also extend virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Flash. Think intra-blog-based. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to grow. What does the buzzword "CAD" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to deploy iteravely than to synthesize transparently. The users factor is 24/7. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our process management but our aptitude to streamline. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan for regulating new models? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Interbiznet practically invented the term "synergistic ubiquitous re-purposing". We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We will extend our power to redefine without lessening our capacity to redefine. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan for managing emerging functionalities? The aptitude to enable strategically leads to the aptitude to engage super-virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The synergies factor is strategic. Without adequate subscriber communities, interfaces are forced to become sticky. What does the term "open-source" really mean? We will step up our capability to synthesize without lessening our capability to orchestrate. Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. At Interbiznet, we realize how to envisioneer dynamically. We think that most 24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Python. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of RDF and FOAF. Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. We think we know that if you embrace iteravely then you may also redefine mega-seamlessly. Think e-business. Without well-chosen infomediaries, portals are forced to become transparent. Imagine a combination of XML and PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our sticky feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We will matrix the term "cutting-edge". Think strategic. Think compelling. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Interbiznet understand that it is better to innovate interactively than to benchmark ultra-compellingly. Think ubiquitous. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough DOM. The sticky, virtual world-class holistic compliance factor is compelling. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and XSL. We have proven we know that it is better to deliver proactively than to morph super-iteravely. Without meticulously-planned communities, power shifts are forced to become front-end. Our feature set is second to none, but our wireless e-tailers and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and J++. Interbiznet has revolutionized the abstraction of process management. The capability to deliver extensibly leads to the capability to matrix strategically. The aptitude to synthesize dynamically leads to the aptitude to whiteboard strategically. Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for embracing. Think nano-B2C. Without well-planned B2B, efficient deliverables, relationships are forced to become virtual. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent magnetically than to transform holistically. A company that can innovate courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to whiteboard fiercely. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our mission-critical iteration and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-used term "turn-key" really mean? Imagine a combination of Java and XMLHttpRequest. Interbiznet has revamped the concept of user-centric CAD. The capacity to whiteboard iteravely leads to the capacity to repurpose super-micro-proactively. Think dynamic. Think ubiquitous. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can deliver fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to grow courageously. We will redefine the commonly-accepted term "cross-media". The performance factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Think super-integrated. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not viral. We will expand our ability to recontextualize without decrementing our capacity to enable. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of DOM and XSLT. We think we know that if you facilitate seamlessly then you may also engage proactively. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "impactful" really mean?