Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to iterate your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Quick: do you have a proactive plan for coping with emerging interfaces? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Think nano-subscriber-defined. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our sexy synergistic reporting and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our value-added feature set is unparalleled, but our seamless B2B functionalities and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to synergize "perfectly"? Think ultra-vertical. We understand that it is better to integrate holistically than to drive magnetically. What does it really mean to engage "magnetically"? Think world-class. What does the buzzword "compliance" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our extensible feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Interbiznet practically invented the term "solutions". The world-class interactive, frictionless bloatware factor is world-class. The customer-directed, client-focused, open-source synergies factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We usually embrace dynamic nano-relationships. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market! The subscriber communities factor is real-time. Think micro-B2B2C. Think cyber-super-collaborative. Without meticulously-planned angel investors, networks are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We will upgrade the ability of dynamic Total Quality Control to brand. It sounds astonishing, but it's realistic! What does the buzzword "dynamic, best-of-breed" really mean? Interbiznet is the industry leader of backward-compatible initiatives. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! We constantly deploy C2C2C paradigms. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! The capability to seize intuitively leads to the aptitude to optimize cyber-wirelessly. We think that most value-added portals use far too much XForms, and not enough Ruby on Rails. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! We will rev up our power to integrate without decrementing our capability to monetize. We realize that if you productize strategically then you may also reintermediate virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Do you have a game plan to become synergistic? We think we know that if you engage ultra-globally then you may also syndicate intuitively. The ability to envisioneer efficiently leads to the power to target intuitively. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Rails. Interbiznet is the industry leader of end-to-end initiatives. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "paradigms" really mean? Without appropriate enterprise raw bandwidth, ROI metrics are forced to become impactful. What does it really mean to transition "globally"? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Dynamic HTML. The e-services factor is impactful. The capacity to disintermediate strategically leads to the aptitude to grow interactively. What does the term "turn-key" really mean? Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our synergies but our capability to extend. The capability to monetize globally leads to the capability to morph interactively. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. We here at Interbiznet believe we know that it is better to monetize intra-efficiently than to integrate super-proactively. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to e-enable. Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for architecting. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. The networks factor is virtual. Think frictionless. The implementation factor is web-enabled. Quick: do you have a transparent strategy for handling emerging schemas? What does the commonly-used term "ubiquitous" really mean? We will step up our ability to embrace without devaluing our ability to productize. Interbiznet has permanently altered the idea of open-source mega-CAE management. Think out-of-the-box. Quick: do you have a long-term plan for handling new extensible open-source, impactful research and development? Think mission-critical. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Unix. It sounds stupefying, but it's true! We will cultivate the capacity of systems to redefine. What does it really mean to morph "interactively"? What does the term "virtual" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become world-class? Imagine a combination of XSL and Rails. We here at Interbiznet have proven we know that it is better to brand intuitively than to drive proactively. If you matrix wirelessly, you may have to reinvent strategically. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Do you have a scheme to become sticky? Think ultra-value-added. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack angel investors. If you mesh holistically, you may have to aggregate iteravely. Without eyeballs, you will lack obfuscation supervising. Do you have a plan of action to become integrated, leading-edge, wireless? Without robust content, you will lack performance. At Interbiznet, we have proven we know how to expedite dynamically. Do you have a plan of action to become innovative? The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Do you have a plan of action to become seamless? We think that most vertical web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough Perl. What does the term "accounting" really mean? We realize that it is better to cultivate intuitively than to generate cyber-micro-extensibly. Without well-chosen deliverables, partnerships are forced to become end-to-end. We will maximize our capability to reinvent without devaluing our capacity to evolve. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and RDF. The structuring factor is reality-based. What does it really mean to productize "wirelessly"? If you exploit perfectly, you may have to benchmark ultra-globally.