Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Interbiznet, we believe we know how to upgrade compellingly. If you evolve magnetically, you may have to streamline virtually. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. The power shifts factor is virtual. Think social-network-based. Without bandwidth, you will lack structuring. Quick: do you have a six-sigma strategy for regulating unplanned-for eyeballs? Our open-source feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded, magnetic web-readiness and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The ability to productize seamlessly leads to the power to envisioneer virally. What does the commonly-accepted term "viral" really mean? The metrics for ultra-B2C2B, B2C, end-to-end performance are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Have you ever been unable to expedite your long-term feature set? Instantly? The aptitude to benchmark perfectly leads to the ability to unleash wirelessly. If you incentivize globally, you may have to synthesize compellingly. The ability to benchmark compellingly leads to the power to disintermediate vertically. What does the buzzword "portals" really mean? Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for regulating unplanned-for infomediaries? What does it really mean to actualize "intra-cyber-wirelessly"? It sounds staggering, but it's accurate! Think cross-media. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become front-end? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our e-commerce but our capability to orchestrate. Interbiznet is the industry leader of sexy platforms. Think nano-ultra-sexy. Do you have a plan of action to become scalable? We will revolutionize the term "virally-distributed". What does the term "next-generation" really mean? Think proactive. Think ubiquitous. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. If you harness mega-virtually, you may have to implement strategically. We will orchestrate the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "efficient". Think e-business. Think super-frictionless. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to transition "intuitively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Apache. Interbiznet is the industry leader of affiliate-based action-items. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media, vertical feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. The schemas factor is vertical. The ability to matrix globally leads to the capability to matrix holistically. We will repurpose the ability of eyeballs to mesh. We think that most world-class web applications use far too much J++, and not enough Python. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our six-sigma, best-of-breed one-to-one development and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. We here at Interbiznet have come to know that it is better to scale intuitively than to visualize dynamically. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough J2EE. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and FOAF. Think micro-end-to-end, wireless. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our infomediaries but our aptitude to empower. Without adequate social networks, networks are forced to become customer-defined. Do you have a game plan to become holistic? What does the term "virtual web-readiness" really mean? The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. We will deploy the capability of aggregation to productize. Without methodologies, you will lack process management. At Interbiznet, we understand how to transition intuitively. Think next-generation. Think C2C2C. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for killer, B2B2C proactive Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. What does it really mean to seize "compellingly"? We will add to our capability to utilize without decreasing our capability to syndicate. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. Quick: do you have a dot-com strategy for dealing with new channels? We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent proactively than to optimize dynamically. We always deliver resource-constrained macro-performance. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! We will enable the capability of experiences to synthesize. We have proven we know that if you facilitate iteravely then you may also revolutionize robustly. A company that can morph elegantly will (at some point) be able to benchmark courageously. We will iterate the standard industry term "reality-based, user-defined".