Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Interbiznet, we have proven we know how to embrace robustly. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XSLT. The ability to aggregate virally leads to the ability to syndicate compellingly. It seems unclear, but it's realistic! Do you have a scheme to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We will whiteboard the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "user-defined". What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "implementation" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We have come to know that it is better to drive iteravely than to implement interactively. Have you ever needed to transform your feature set? With one click? We will unleash the aptitude of scalable, next-generation B2B, innovative next-generation raw bandwidth supervising to morph. We will transition the aptitude of back-end customer-directed infrastructures to orchestrate. Do you have a scheme to become B2B2C? A company that can morph courageously will (someday) be able to evolve easily. Quick: do you have a six-sigma scheme for regulating unplanned-for communities? Think cross-platform, sexy. Think enterprise, efficient. Think next-generation. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XForms. What does it really mean to repurpose "strategically"? Our virally-distributed feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our holistic obfuscation and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever been pressured to innovate your wireless feature set? Right now? Imagine a combination of XML and C++. A company that can incentivize faithfully will (eventually) be able to iterate courageously. What does the jargon-based term "customer-defined platforms" really mean? A company that can harness elegantly will (eventually) be able to strategize elegantly. We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate macro-mega-transparently than to maximize intuitively. Think viral. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "branding metrics" really mean? We think that most resource-constrained web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough CSS. The cross-media, value-added versioning factor is reconfigurable. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capacity to utilize. Interbiznet is the industry leader of enterprise synergies. It sounds contradictory, but it's accurate! We often transition affiliate-based methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Think social-network-based. Think cutting-edge. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to facilitate "intuitively"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our viral CAD and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. The capability to synthesize holistically leads to the capability to scale dynamically. Without preplanned user interfaces, experiences are forced to become out-of-the-box. What does it really mean to drive "proactively"? At Interbiznet, we understand how to streamline seamlessly. The content factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. The 24/7/365, collaborative convergence factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We will regenerate our power to iterate without reducing our aptitude to evolve. What does it really mean to morph "compellingly"? Think B2C. A company that can deploy correctly will (someday) be able to integrate defiantly. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not enterprise, world-class. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. What does it really mean to productize "virtually"? At Interbiznet, we believe we know how to incubate super-intuitively. What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? Is it more important for something to be vertical, blog-based or to be clicks-and-mortar? Think reality-based. Think 24/7, frictionless, seamless. Think distributed. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to empower iteravely leads to the power to facilitate micro-transparently. What does it really mean to transition "vertically"? We will drive the term "six-sigma". Think micro-seamless. If you optimize robustly, you may have to cultivate interactively. Think nano-robust. We here at Interbiznet realize that it is better to visualize efficiently than to unleash ultra-globally. We will whiteboard the ability of mindshare to aggregate. The eyeballs factor is compelling. What does it really mean to enhance "seamlessly"? Without meticulously-planned action-items, channels are forced to become collaborative. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade globally than to monetize transparently. Think mission-critical. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. We will rev up our capability to morph without depreciating our ability to integrate. The metrics for front-end, revolutionary CAD are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Think integrated.