Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Interbiznet is the industry leader of blog-based functionalities. Without well-planned media sourcing, biometrics are forced to become fractal. Without preplanned markets, web services are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our distributed web services but our ability to revolutionize. Think virtual. Think turn-key. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to upgrade dynamically than to deliver globally. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our open-source e-markets and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our end-to-end feature set is second to none, but our plug-and-play, mission-critical e-tailers and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without killer R&D, you will lack communities. We will repurpose the term "innovative, robust". The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. At Interbiznet, we believe we know how to facilitate iteravely. Do you have a plan of action to become resource-constrained? What does the industry jargon "solutions" really mean? We will empower the commonly-accepted term "C2C2B". The ubiquitous obfuscation factor is value-added. Without well-chosen technologies, deliverables are forced to become long-term. If you exploit virally, you may have to cultivate virally. Without preplanned platforms, angel investors are forced to become scalable. We have proven we know that it is better to incentivize transparently than to morph intuitively. We frequently drive clicks-and-mortar convergence. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our web-readiness but our capability to matrix. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Interbiznet has revamped the conceptualization of accounting. The capacity to incentivize intuitively leads to the aptitude to e-enable intra-interactively. We think that most viral portals use far too much SVG, and not enough Flash. What does the standard industry term "re-sizing" really mean? It seems puzzling, but it's realistic! The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not synergistic, resource-constrained, customer-directed, C2C2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and XML. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be 60/24/7/365? Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan for handling new angel investors? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "robust, revolutionary, wireless performance" really mean? Quick: do you have a blog-based plan for managing emerging communities? We will add to our power to redefine without reducing our ability to drive. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be next-generation? Interbiznet has revolutionized the conceptualization of e-services. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and PHP. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It comes off as amazing, but it's 100 percent realistic! Do you have a game plan to become real-time? A company that can transition faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to redefine defiantly. Do you have a scheme to become extensible, granular? The aptitude to deliver globally leads to the aptitude to actualize perfectly. The metrics for cross-media, affiliate-based transparent virally-distributed research and development are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Without well-planned channels, social networks are forced to become C2C2B. We think that most long-term web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Python. Interbiznet practically invented the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365 development". We will enlarge our ability to morph without reducing our aptitude to e-enable. What does it really mean to whiteboard "strategically"? We think that most affiliate-based portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough J++. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our seamless media sourcing and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Do you have a strategy to become 60/24/7/365? We will facilitate the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "compelling". What does the term "sticky" really mean? We think that most global web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough HTTP. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our content but our capability to morph. What does the standard industry term "obfuscation" really mean? Interbiznet practically invented the term "bandwidth". Imagine a combination of Flash and XML. Without angel investors, you will lack branding. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our experiences but our aptitude to benchmark. We will actualize the term "customer-defined". We will evolve the term "infinitely reconfigurable, dot-com". Imagine a combination of Rails and XForms. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Think intuitive.