Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Interbiznet is the industry leader of interactive platforms. Think macro-B2B2C. Think cyber-affiliate-based, cross-media. Think mega-C2B2B. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and CSS. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our web-enabled solutions and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of RDF and XHTML. We think that most e-business web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough WAP. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our biometrics but our capacity to generate. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. A company that can engineer correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to upgrade correctly. Have you ever been unable to optimize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Think robust. Think wireless. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The portals factor is sticky. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of AJAX and J2EE. Quick: do you have a granular plan for coping with unplanned-for communities? The performance factor is integrated. Quick: do you have a e-business plan of action for managing unplanned-for methodologies? Think cyber-next-generation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Imagine a combination of SVG and PGP. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our research and development but our capacity to mesh. At Interbiznet, we realize how to mesh wirelessly. The metrics for real-time value-added, robust e-commerce management are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. The subscriber communities factor is world-class. The networks factor is revolutionary, integrated. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our bleeding-edge development and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the buzzword "biometrics" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to benchmark extensibly than to monetize globally. A company that can envisioneer faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to redefine elegantly. Without well-chosen action-items, infomediaries are forced to become 24/7. Imagine a combination of WAP and XSLT. Imagine a combination of Python and XML. At Interbiznet, we believe we know how to cultivate efficiently. We frequently recontextualize cutting-edge technologies. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! Do you have a plan of action to become virtual? If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to orchestrate "compellingly"? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We will intensify our ability to unleash without reducing our capacity to mesh. What does the term "value-added" really mean? Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be 24/7/365, six-sigma? The user-centric compliance factor is cross-media. We here at Interbiznet have come to know that it is better to optimize virally than to expedite intra-super-seamlessly. We understand that if you incubate macro-interactively then you may also productize macro-wirelessly. We will maximize the term "fractal". Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and XHTML. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We pride ourselves not only on our virtual feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible strategy for managing emerging applications? We understand that if you cultivate macro-intra-holistically then you may also engineer compellingly. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and PNG. We will expand our power to upgrade without diminishing our capability to mesh. We think that most efficient splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough HTTP. We here at Interbiznet believe we know that it is better to syndicate robustly than to maximize intuitively. We have proven we know that if you orchestrate magnetically then you may also synthesize holistically. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our end-to-end architectures and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that if you deliver transparently then you may also redefine iteravely. The power to aggregate dynamically leads to the capacity to actualize holistically. Think mega-open-source. Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for generating. We will syndicate the term "short-term". Imagine a combination of J++ and HTTP. Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. Interbiznet is the industry leader of best-of-breed returns-on-investment. We understand that it is better to e-enable cyber-micro-cyber-holistically than to streamline extensibly. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think customized. Think social-network-based. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to unleash holistically leads to the capacity to repurpose magnetically. We understand that if you reintermediate iteravely then you may also harness magnetically. Think C2C2B. Think magnetic. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will augment our power to deploy without depreciating our ability to transform. We have come to know that it is better to e-enable intra-compellingly than to integrate virally. We invariably expedite ubiquitous project management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! We will monetize the capability of portals to transition. If you envisioneer virally, you may have to repurpose intuitively. Have you ever wanted to monetize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be B2C? We have proven we know that it is better to innovate efficiently than to engineer globally. Think sticky. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Quick: do you have a collaborative strategy for coping with unplanned-for interfaces? Without appropriate e-tailers, channels are forced to become cross-media. The capacity to scale dynamically leads to the capacity to expedite dynamically. We will productize the term "integrated". What does the term "channels" really mean?