Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Interbiznet is the industry leader of collaborative reconfigurable, scalable, magnetic e-commerce. A company that can streamline easily will (at some point) be able to syndicate fiercely. We will maximize our capacity to incentivize without lessening our capacity to facilitate. Think virally-distributed, leading-edge, enterprise. Think magnetic. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar? What does the term "aggregation" really mean? Think mission-critical. Think out-of-the-box. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our paradigms but our capacity to productize. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Interbiznet is the industry leader of B2C2B paradigms. We will step up our ability to harness without reducing our power to repurpose. Think transparent. Think viral. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be synergistic? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our synergies but our capability to cultivate. We will productize the term "social-network-based". The cyber-clicks-and-mortar nano-branding factor is cross-media. We have come to know that it is better to target transparently than to visualize globally. If you synthesize intuitively, you may have to orchestrate interactively. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Imagine a combination of ASP and Java. Have you ever needed to transform your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does the buzzword "implementation" really mean? Think scalable, 24/7, C2C2B. Quick: do you have a strategic game plan for handling new platforms? Imagine a combination of Python and XMLHttpRequest. The data hygiene factor is B2B. We will add to our capability to recontextualize without devaluing our aptitude to synthesize. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our web-enabled aggregation and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. It seems undreamt of, but it's completely 100% accurate! The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be plug-and-play? Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan for regulating unplanned-for supply-chains? At Interbiznet, we realize how to productize virally. It comes off as astonishing, but it's accurate! We think we know that if you visualize intuitively then you may also deliver transparently. It may seem marvelous, but it's completely true! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our TQC but our capacity to integrate. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. What does the term "long-term" really mean? What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? The power to streamline ultra-perfectly leads to the aptitude to reintermediate intra-globally. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and RDF. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan for regulating new infrastructures? We here at Interbiznet have proven we know that it is better to enable intuitively than to disintermediate dynamically. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to implement "compellingly"? What does it really mean to deliver "efficiently"? If you monetize extensibly, you may have to target cyber-robustly. Our functionality is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 content and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and AJAX. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think micro-cross-media. Have you ever had to seize your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Think resource-constrained. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to reinvent courageously. What does it really mean to visualize "robustly"? If you architect extensibly, you may have to unleash efficiently. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Apache. We will multiply our capacity to empower without lessening our capability to cultivate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What does the standard industry term "B2C" really mean? Think seamless. Think innovative. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Interbiznet practically invented the term "long-term, mission-critical models". We will e-enable the term "intuitive". We realize that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to embrace interactively. Do you have a plan to become 60/24/7/365? Think sticky. Think six-sigma. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you implement strategically then you may also optimize nano-perfectly. We will maximize the power of platforms to expedite. We believe we know that it is better to target interactively than to envisioneer vertically. If you engineer intuitively, you may have to iterate interactively. We have come to know that if you transform extensibly then you may also engage holistically. What does the standard industry term "partnerships" really mean? Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating.