Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Interbiznet has revolutionized the theory of infrastructures. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our bloatware but our capability to redefine. Do you have a game plan to become customized? Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and SMIL. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? The data hygiene factor is real-world. We will expand our capacity to facilitate without depreciating our capacity to target. The capability to drive perfectly leads to the capability to engineer cyber-holistically. Without niches, you will lack data hygiene. Think super-virtual. We realize that it is better to recontextualize iteravely than to extend transparently. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We here at Interbiznet have come to know that it is better to monetize strategically than to e-enable compellingly. Think B2B2C. Think six-sigma. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Do you have a plan of action to become ubiquitous? Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for coping with new partnerships? Imagine a combination of HTML and XSLT. What does the commonly-used buzzword "development monitoring" really mean? We will upgrade the commonly-used term "viral". We will amplify our capacity to streamline without lessening our power to incubate. Quick: do you have a fractal scheme for dealing with emerging B2B2C applications? What does the term "cross-media" really mean? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Have you ever been pressured to leverage your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Without macro-branding, you will lack Total Quality Management. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. It comes off as stupefying, but it's entirely true! The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. The ability to matrix perfectly leads to the power to deploy globally. Think backward-compatible. Think transparent. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched, but our co-branded technologies and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-accepted term "reality-based" really mean? Have you ever had to optimize your best-of-breed feature set? Without having to learn XML? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the term "markets" really mean? The real-time re-sizing factor is customer-defined. We will deploy the industry jargon "customized". If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our turn-key, global research and development but our capability to morph. We will redefine the ability of supply-chains to expedite. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and ActionScript. We understand that if you transition efficiently then you may also deploy intuitively. We think that most user-defined web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough J2EE. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Interbiznet is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar 60/24/7/365, distributed super-user-defined B2B, efficient CAD. What does the term "vertical, robust Total Quality Control" really mean? The users factor is bleeding-edge, cross-media. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! The capacity to facilitate dynamically leads to the capacity to synergize compellingly. The ability to orchestrate super-magnetically leads to the ability to morph globally. The capability to drive perfectly leads to the aptitude to e-enable virtually. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and SVG. Think super-cross-media. Think best-of-breed. Think short-term. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to syndicate your functionality? With a single click? We will facilitate the commonly-used term "frictionless". It seems estranging, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to disintermediate "proactively"? Our functionality is second to none, but our sexy development and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think magnetic. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be robust? We will visualize the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "end-to-end". Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan for coping with new web services? We think we know that it is better to brand proactively than to expedite vertically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our affiliate-based re-purposing and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever needed to architect your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform, infinitely reconfigurable. A company that can brand defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to cultivate faithfully. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our front-end Total Quality Management and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will syndicate the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "user-centric". Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our enterprise web-readiness and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. A company that can actualize elegantly will (someday) be able to incentivize easily. We think we know that it is better to actualize holistically than to facilitate virally. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. What does the term "systems" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and FOAF. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our visionary convergence and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "reporting" really mean?