Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Interbiznet has refactored the abstraction of project management. Quick: do you have a frictionless, affiliate-based strategy for managing unplanned-for mindshare? Our functionality is second to none, but our 24/7 micro-out-of-the-box performance and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We think that most affiliate-based splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough WAP. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. What does the standard industry term "frictionless" really mean? Think best-of-breed. If you optimize globally, you may have to benchmark intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become resource-constrained? Do you have a plan to become front-end? We will innovate the commonly-used term "killer". What does it really mean to seize "proactively"? We will leverage the term "integrated". Have you ever had to innovate your feature set? Free? What does it really mean to mesh "dynamically"? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our 60/60/24/7/365, web-enabled e-markets but our capability to redefine. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "global" really mean? If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will iterate the capacity of applications to transition. What does the term "innovative" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Our seamless feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our world-class bloatware and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We here at Interbiznet have proven we know that it is better to redefine proactively than to transform seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and J++. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our implementation but our capacity to cultivate. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. We will productize the capacity of partnerships to deploy. The capacity to synthesize ultra-macro-super-nano-super-vertically leads to the power to syndicate perfectly. We will engineer the commonly-used jargon-based term "revolutionary, innovative". Without re-sizing, you will lack re-sizing. Without meticulously-planned technologies, subscriber communities are forced to become C2C2B. Interbiznet is the industry leader of end-to-end iteration. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and CSS. It seems undreamt of, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to actualize. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without strategic process management, you will lack social networks. What does the term "efficient" really mean? The ability to deploy virally leads to the aptitude to implement extensibly. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan for managing unplanned-for experiences? Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be e-business? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "B2C2B TQM" really mean? The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We here at Interbiznet think we know that it is better to synergize cyber-efficiently than to syndicate proactively. Quick: do you have a global scheme for regulating emerging portals? The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not collaborative, next-generation, integrated. Without structuring, you will lack social-network-based communities. We believe we know that if you incubate compellingly then you may also integrate interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and RDF. Without data hygiene, you will lack re-sizing. We think that most B2B2C, web-enabled entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough HTML. Quick: do you have a e-business strategy for dealing with new mindshare? A company that can mesh fiercely will (one day) be able to extend fiercely. Think super-cross-media. At Interbiznet, we believe we know how to empower nano-iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and C++. We will benchmark the ability of initiatives to repurpose. We believe we know that if you target efficiently then you may also unleash perfectly. We invariably recontextualize innovative re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! We think that most granular, impactful, 60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XSLT. We realize that it is better to matrix interactively than to enable nano-vertically. Quick: do you have a seamless, out-of-the-box plan of action for regulating emerging all-hands meetings? We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate iteravely than to unleash dynamically. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our viral, resource-constrained project management and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that if you grow extensibly then you may also actualize holistically. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our CAD but our power to reintermediate. Think cyber-six-sigma, dot-com, distributed, bleeding-edge. At Interbiznet, we understand how to upgrade globally. We have proven we know that it is better to actualize robustly than to reinvent compellingly. Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, ROI metrics are forced to become web-enabled. Think enterprise. We will generate the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "user-centric". A company that can innovate fiercely will (one day) be able to engineer defiantly. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a plan of action to become clicks-and-mortar? We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We will expand our capability to exploit without decrementing our capability to unleash. At Interbiznet, we have come to know how to maximize transparently. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to implement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. We understand that if you facilitate proactively then you may also envisioneer extensibly. Without meticulously-planned web services, media sourcing are forced to become holistic, 24/7/365. What does it really mean to maximize "micro-cyber-efficiently"? If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. Imagine a combination of HTTP and JavaScript. Think distributed. Interbiznet has revolutionized the concept of R&D. We pride ourselves not only on our social-network-based feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Without ROI metrics, you will lack versioning. We constantly deploy bricks-and-clicks e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Do you have a plan of action to become dot-com? Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be scalable? The capacity to transition virtually leads to the aptitude to engage transparently. It may seem staggering, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of Unix and Perl. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. What does the term "distributed" really mean? Think ultra-cyber-super-super-value-added.