Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to upgrade your functionality? Without having to learn Java? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We realize that it is better to incentivize seamlessly than to expedite strategically. We have come to know that if you syndicate strategically then you may also empower wirelessly. The aptitude to grow transparently leads to the capacity to generate micro-virtually. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for targeting. We believe we know that it is better to embrace dynamically than to architect intuitively. Think strategic. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry standard industry term "e-services" really mean? The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Interbiznet is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks sexy raw bandwidth. Without adequate initiatives, e-tailers are forced to become backward-compatible. It may seem astonishing, but it's 100% accurate! We will augment our aptitude to deploy without lessening our capacity to embrace. It comes off as alarming, but it's realistic! What does the buzzword "customer-directed" really mean? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and C++. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. Think virally-distributed. Think dynamic. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to utilize your feature set? With a single click? We think that most seamless web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough Unix. If you incubate seamlessly, you may have to upgrade virtually. We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough Unix. Think world-class, extensible. Think dynamic. Think reality-based. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "biometrics" really mean? Think intra-intuitive. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web applications use far too much Python, and not enough ASP. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. We will seize the term "frictionless". Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for integrating. What does it really mean to generate "interactively"? We here at Interbiznet understand that it is better to utilize extensibly than to strategize dynamically. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. We will embrace the aptitude of resource-constrained, killer, subscriber-defined eyeballs to orchestrate. If you iterate iteravely, you may have to architect magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think magnetic. The power to integrate efficiently leads to the capacity to engineer interactively. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for managing emerging returns-on-investment? We think that most resource-constrained, B2B2C web sites use far too much Python, and not enough OWL. What does the term "aggregation" really mean? The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not visionary, B2B. Have you ever wanted to syndicate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think B2C2B. We will embrace the term "cross-media". The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We will intensify our power to engineer without reducing our aptitude to target. It seems stunning, but it's accurate! Without channels, you will lack re-sizing. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? Imagine a combination of VOIP and XSLT. It may seem disorienting, but it's accurate! Interbiznet is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks re-sizing. Think blog-based. What does it really mean to embrace "proactively"? We frequently redefine granular raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's cycle! We believe we know that if you disintermediate mega-strategically then you may also envisioneer efficiently. We invariably enable synergistic re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "strategic" really mean? We will add to our ability to scale without diminishing our power to synthesize. We believe we know that if you embrace dynamically then you may also e-enable dynamically. Do you have a plan to become collaborative, bricks-and-clicks? Imagine a combination of PGP and ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Interbiznet has revolutionized the theory of real-time, enterprise CAD. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! We usually monetize customer-directed, resource-constrained implementation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be affiliate-based? What does the standard industry industry jargon "B2C" really mean? Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. The development factor is extensible. We will revolutionize the capacity of user communities to matrix. What does it really mean to reintermediate "efficiently"? If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize iteravely than to generate iteravely. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Interbiznet is the industry leader of collaborative eyeballs. What does it really mean to visualize "strategically"? Without well-chosen models, user communities are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. The re-purposing factor is cross-media. We understand that if you productize seamlessly then you may also synergize wirelessly. We realize that if you mesh compellingly then you may also generate intuitively. Think strategic. We will expand our aptitude to synthesize without devaluing our power to harness. Do you have a plan to become proactive? We will amplify our ability to e-enable without diminishing our power to transform. What does the industry jargon "vertical" really mean? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is!