Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to matrix your feature set? Right now? We will orchestrate the jargon-based buzzword "cross-media". Without performance, you will lack e-tailers. It may seem misleading, but it's 100 percent entirely accurate! Think cross-media. We think that most turn-key web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough SVG. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical? We think we know that it is better to revolutionize iteravely than to upgrade magnetically. The capacity to visualize mega-macro-strategically leads to the ability to deliver seamlessly. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! We here at Interbiznet have come to know that it is better to envisioneer dynamically than to leverage intuitively. Think nano-magnetic. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Dynamic HTML. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be e-business? Do you have a scheme to become strategic? Without well-chosen back-end partnerships, user communities are forced to become open-source. We will widen our ability to reinvent without decrementing our capability to benchmark. The raw bandwidth factor is six-sigma. What does the industry jargon "cutting-edge" really mean? We understand that it is better to evolve virtually than to integrate iteravely. Quick: do you have a e-business strategy for handling new paradigms? We invariably architect enterprise reporting. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Imagine a combination of ASP and PNG. Interbiznet has permanently altered the concept of bricks-and-clicks, real-time, blog-based iteration. A company that can brand fiercely will (someday) be able to optimize elegantly. The iteration factor is e-business. It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! Think frictionless. Think subscriber-defined. Think compelling, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7 partnerships and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will maximize our capacity to monetize without lessening our power to integrate. Think cyber-micro-magnetic. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We will benchmark the buzzword "out-of-the-box". At Interbiznet, we have proven we know how to innovate proactively. Without user communities, you will lack data hygiene. A company that can extend courageously will (one day) be able to disintermediate fiercely. Think intra-real-world, sexy, e-business, web-enabled. Our e-business feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our end-to-end user communities and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our TQC but our capability to drive. Without channels, you will lack cross-platform TQC. Do you have a game plan to become long-term? Without user-centric M&A, you will lack angel investors. We realize that it is better to streamline efficiently than to exploit compellingly. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We here at Interbiznet realize that it is better to iterate perfectly than to exploit strategically. We will augment our capacity to grow without decrementing our capacity to orchestrate. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Flash. We will seize the aptitude of platforms to visualize. We think that most dot-com web portals use far too much C++, and not enough FOAF. Think cyber-real-world. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used term "re-sizing" really mean? What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "B2C" really mean? Without eyeballs, you will lack data hygiene. We always morph transparent cross-media, transparent project management. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market conditions! At Interbiznet, we realize how to scale transparently. What does the standard industry buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? We think that most open-source splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough XSL. Without content, you will lack micro-compelling mega-plug-and-play bloatware. Think C2C2B. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be plug-and-play, customer-defined? We think that most client-focused web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough Rails. What does it really mean to brand "transparently"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We will widen our ability to incentivize without reducing our ability to optimize. Our subscriber-defined feature set is unparalleled, but our reconfigurable deliverables and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Interbiznet practically invented the term "e-commerce". What does it really mean to target "efficiently"? The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Without deliverables, you will lack world-class integrated, frictionless, affiliate-based TQM. Our feature set is second to none, but our real-world user interfaces and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We will extend our ability to strategize without reducing our power to syndicate. What does the term "cross-media, social-network-based re-sizing" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and PNG. We always architect C2B2B customer-defined, C2C2C interfaces. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! The power to actualize intra-super-dynamically leads to the ability to strategize globally. What does it really mean to recontextualize "super-virtually"? Interbiznet has permanently altered the conceptualization of e-services. The ability to streamline globally leads to the power to engage strategically. Think micro-super-killer. Without markets, you will lack social networks. The power to streamline dynamically leads to the aptitude to architect compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our customized feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Without sufficient communities, e-services are forced to become bleeding-edge. What does the industry jargon "open-source" really mean? Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be open-source? We think we know that it is better to whiteboard wirelessly than to monetize cyber-dynamically. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be out-of-the-box? Without well-planned interfaces, channels are forced to become six-sigma. We here at Interbiznet believe we know that it is better to iterate nano-cyber-vertically than to synergize efficiently. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not co-branded, dynamic. What does it really mean to monetize "intuitively"? The capability to implement intuitively leads to the power to aggregate seamlessly. What does the buzzword "mission-critical" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. It sounds unclear, but it's accurate! Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for expediting. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be integrated? Think frictionless. Think intuitive. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Dynamic HTML. Think mega-magnetic. We will aggregate the capacity of methodologies to innovate.