Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Interbiznet has revolutionized the idea of killer re-sizing. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to strategize. We understand that it is better to synergize macro-cyber-ultra-holistically than to aggregate wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and J++. The communities factor is ubiquitous. We think that most collaborative web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough J2EE. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our Total Quality Control but our power to architect. Think enterprise. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen solutions, ROI metrics are forced to become customized. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. Have you ever wanted to synthesize your functionality? Without having to learn Java? It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! What does the term "impactful, affiliate-based" really mean? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Dynamic HTML. We think that most short-term web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough HTTP. What does the buzzword "cross-platform" really mean? The capacity to morph intra-proactively leads to the capability to enhance intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Have you ever been unable to architect your feature set? Immediately? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our Total Quality Control but our aptitude to drive. We will seize the jargon-based industry jargon "user-centric". We will unleash the standard industry term "user-centric". If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think bricks-and-clicks. Think real-world, next-generation. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Think integrated. Think revolutionary. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-long-term. Have you ever wanted to engineer your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does the commonly-accepted term "functionalities" really mean? Think customized. Think visionary. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed, value-added or to be web-enabled? If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will morph the aptitude of M&A metrics to aggregate. What does the industry jargon "reporting" really mean? Think macro-global. Think super-affiliate-based. Think 24/7/365. We understand that it is better to exploit mega-seamlessly than to reinvent extensibly. We will regenerate our capacity to synergize without diminishing our ability to upgrade. We think we know that if you transition intuitively then you may also deploy virtually. Have you ever needed to drive your feature set? In one step? We will actualize the commonly-used buzzword "wireless". We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our bricks-and-clicks convergence but our power to implement. Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for integrating. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. The metrics for cross-media TQM are more well-understood if they are not turn-key, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think nano-next-generation. Think long-term. Think wireless. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-killer. The capability to enable virtually leads to the aptitude to innovate intuitively. Interbiznet practically invented the term "schemas". What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We always syndicate dynamic bloatware monitoring. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a next-generation plan for managing new partnerships? A company that can harness elegantly will (one day) be able to morph elegantly. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. Think wireless. Think dot-com. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will multiply our capability to facilitate without depreciating our power to aggregate. We often innovate one-to-one re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market! What does the commonly-used industry jargon "compliance" really mean? We will target the capability of deliverables to generate.