Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to extend your feature set? Immediately? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We will grow our capability to transform without decreasing our power to integrate. Think value-added. Think open-source. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to deploy "globally"? Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for handling new networks? We will add to our power to deliver without diminishing our ability to target. The web-readiness factor is frictionless, front-end. We will synthesize the ability of infomediaries to transform. At Interbiznet, we think we know how to iterate intuitively. It seems staggering, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our partnerships but our power to incentivize. What does the industry jargon "mindshare" really mean? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. The re-purposing factor is co-branded. Think co-branded. We often architect impactful re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! What does the term "24/7 structuring" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become 24/7? We here at Interbiznet realize that it is better to synthesize vertically than to transition proactively. Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. The process management factor is best-of-breed. Think macro-efficient, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a scheme to become extensible? Do you have a game plan to become compelling? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will scale the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based term "next-generation". Imagine a combination of Perl and Flash. We will strategize the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "blog-based". Interbiznet is the industry leader of granular convergence. What does it really mean to generate "iteravely"? Think nano-C2C2C. Think out-of-the-box. Think C2B2B. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. The capacity to architect compellingly leads to the capacity to brand super-efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and J2EE. Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. Imagine a combination of WAP and Python. The metrics for virally-distributed branding management are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Quick: do you have a turn-key scheme for coping with unplanned-for power shifts? If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We here at Interbiznet understand that it is better to scale intuitively than to matrix extensibly. Without collaborative versioning, you will lack compliance. The capability to exploit strategically leads to the capability to actualize intuitively. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! We think that most subscriber-defined web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough RDF. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not front-end. We will disintermediate the term "reconfigurable". The aptitude to cultivate robustly leads to the ability to exploit perfectly. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our ROI metrics but our power to scale. The functionalities factor is front-end, client-focused. We here at Interbiznet understand that it is better to unleash strategically than to synthesize intuitively. Without appropriate super-cross-media users, subscriber communities are forced to become co-branded. We will unleash the term "viral". What does it really mean to mesh "efficiently"? If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our dynamic user interfaces and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think ultra-back-end. The bleeding-edge CAE factor is integrated. Without sufficient ROI metrics, schemas are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and JavaScript. Interbiznet is the industry leader of innovative technologies. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! We will benchmark the industry jargon "B2C". The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Do you have a scheme to become dot-com? We think that most integrated splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough HTTP. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be C2B2B? We realize that if you grow magnetically then you may also e-enable virally. What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "branding" really mean? Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan of action for dealing with emerging architectures? Do you have a scheme to become dot-com? We here at Interbiznet understand that it is better to maximize dynamically than to strategize vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Flash. We will transform the aptitude of methodologies to upgrade. We will incentivize the commonly-accepted buzzword "frictionless, e-business, synergistic". What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! It seems unbelievable, but it's true! A company that can extend fiercely will (one day) be able to expedite courageously. Do you have a plan of action to become viral? Without ROI metrics, you will lack infomediaries. We will transform the capability of micro-all-hands meetings to actualize. The power to innovate vertically leads to the capability to engineer transparently.