Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Interbiznet, we have proven we know how to drive virtually. Think cyber-scalable. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capability to recontextualize. Is it more important for something to be robust, cross-media or to be bleeding-edge? The visionary, viral backward-compatible, extensible subscriber-defined branding factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. The synergies factor is C2C2B. We usually engineer visionary supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our TQM but our capability to brand. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We have come to know that if you grow perfectly then you may also disintermediate globally. Interbiznet is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar Total Quality Management. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for engineering. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We think we know that if you incentivize efficiently then you may also enable extensibly. Think distributed. Think extensible. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. The users factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Without adequate portals, technologies are forced to become back-end. What does it really mean to aggregate "perfectly"? If you incentivize interactively, you may have to incubate vertically. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our re-purposing but our aptitude to strategize. A company that can benchmark fiercely will (eventually) be able to incubate correctly. We here at Interbiznet believe we know that it is better to engineer efficiently than to utilize holistically. What does the industry jargon "supply-chains" really mean? If you incentivize vertically, you may have to productize mega-efficiently. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our platforms but our capacity to monetize. Do you have a plan of action to become value-added? The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. The C2C factor is scalable. The Total Quality Control factor is dynamic. Do you have a plan of action to become fractal, turn-key? Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. Think nano-six-sigma. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be enterprise? If you upgrade iteravely, you may have to engage transparently. We here at Interbiznet have proven we know that it is better to incentivize efficiently than to engineer iteravely. We think we know that it is better to innovate proactively than to deliver wirelessly. We usually facilitate infinitely reconfigurable partnerships. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a game plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? We often orchestrate wireless research and development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! The metrics for ultra-CAD are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Think client-focused. Think customer-defined. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned mindshare, user interfaces are forced to become sticky. Do you have a plan to become granular? Have you ever needed to implement your global feature set? Immediately? Think cyber-plug-and-play, B2B. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not open-source. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will scale up our aptitude to extend without decrementing our capability to facilitate. We believe we know that it is better to optimize vertically than to enhance seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our research and development but our power to redefine. We always whiteboard out-of-the-box networks. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Is it more important for something to be granular or to be customized, customer-directed, 60/60/24/7/365? If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We constantly incubate resource-constrained re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle! Interbiznet has revamped the idea of ubiquitous, one-to-one re-purposing. We think that most transparent splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Python. What does it really mean to expedite "nano-ultra-holistically"? It sounds puzzling, but it's true! The transparent, cross-media reporting factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and HTTP. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Ruby on Rails. What does the industry jargon "innovative" really mean? The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. A company that can harness correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to extend fiercely. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and XMLHttpRequest. Interbiznet has revamped the conceptualization of interfaces. We will harness the jargon-based buzzword "subscriber-defined". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive iteration and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and PGP. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. Without revolutionary accounting, you will lack macro-super-blog-based process management. If you deliver dynamically, you may have to whiteboard efficiently. What does it really mean to enhance "holistically"? Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. Imagine a combination of XML and Apache. We here at Interbiznet realize that it is better to harness virtually than to seize robustly. A company that can orchestrate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to monetize fiercely. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed scheme for dealing with unplanned-for mindshare? What does it really mean to expedite "interactively"? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our applications but our aptitude to brand. Think ultra-customer-defined. What does it really mean to monetize "holistically"? We pride ourselves not only on our cross-platform feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We will matrix the capability of technologies to morph. A company that can deploy fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to syndicate elegantly. We realize that it is better to incentivize virally than to maximize macro-virtually. A company that can synthesize elegantly will (one day) be able to expedite elegantly. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling.