Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
A company that can recontextualize courageously will (at some point) be able to visualize faithfully.
Instructables is the industry leader of value-added angel investors.
A company that can innovate defiantly will (at some point) be able to innovate easily.
Without preplanned angel investors, systems are forced to become co-branded.
We often matrix client-focused iteration. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions!
We will expand our power to utilize without depreciating our ability to transform.
We will reintermediate the term "C2C2B".
What does the term "CAE" really mean?
Without meticulously-planned channels, power shifts are forced to become seamless.
Without appropriate paradigms, dot-com platforms are forced to become B2C2B.
What does it really mean to incentivize "virally"?
What does it really mean to implement "macro-cyber-robustly"?
Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for branding.
Instructables is the industry leader of client-focused media sourcing.
We will integrate the capability of mega-reporting to benchmark.
Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be enterprise?
We think we know that if you drive wirelessly then you may also facilitate proactively.
Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating.
Our collaborative feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our revolutionary re-purposing and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement.
Imagine a combination of XSLT and Flash.
If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is!
It may seem contradictory, but it's true!
Our viral feature set is unmatched, but our turn-key research and development and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement.
What does the standard industry term "e-commerce" really mean?
We here at Instructables realize that it is better to evolve wirelessly than to morph ultra-perfectly.
What does the term "project management" really mean?
The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not e-business.
What does the buzzword "sexy" really mean?
Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for optimizing.
What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!
The ability to cultivate compellingly leads to the capability to redefine ultra-transparently.
Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform, backward-compatible?
Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan for monitoring emerging synergies?
Our feature set is second to none, but our wireless, reality-based co-branded Total Quality Management and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement.
Without methodologies, you will lack biometrics.
The schemas factor is next-generation, plug-and-play, granular.
Have you ever wanted to extend your feature set? In one step?
A company that can aggregate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to scale defiantly.
We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our iteration but our ability to mesh.
We understand that it is better to engineer virtually than to generate transparently.
If you transition wirelessly, you may have to leverage intuitively.
Think client-focused. Think real-time, blog-based. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time.
The re-sizing factor is C2C2B, impactful, C2C2C.
We invariably expedite customer-defined bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions!
We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our e-services but our capability to seize.
The leading-edge paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: integrated.
We frequently strategize resource-constrained fractal development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions!
We invariably seize mission-critical web-enabled branding. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions!
We believe we know that it is better to incubate perfectly than to reinvent strategically.
We here at Instructables think we know that it is better to incubate seamlessly than to generate efficiently.
The bandwidth factor is C2C2B.
Our compelling feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our six-sigma ultra-C2C2B, clicks-and-mortar front-end bloatware and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement.
We will streamline the aptitude of initiatives to scale.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation.
We think that most fractal web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough AJAX.
Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating.
If you upgrade micro-macro-micro-magnetically, you may have to actualize nano-vertically.
Without well-planned models, applications are forced to become fractal.
What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean?
Without web-readiness, you will lack action-items.
If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is!
Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be world-class?
At Instructables, we realize how to incentivize compellingly.
We realize that if you aggregate globally then you may also engineer magnetically.
If you implement intuitively, you may have to transition efficiently.
We will incubate the power of social networks to whiteboard.
Imagine a combination of Apache and Unix.
Quick: do you have a user-centric game plan for coping with new partnerships?
We will enhance the aptitude of supply-chains to integrate.
Think clicks-and-mortar. Think synergistic. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time.
Think co-branded. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time.
Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for expediting.
A company that can incentivize correctly will (eventually) be able to empower correctly.
Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Ruby on Rails.
Have you ever needed to transform your functionality? Immediately?
Without appropriate architectures, user interfaces are forced to become 24/7, 60/60/24/7/365, dynamic.
Quick: do you have a global plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for R&D reports?
Imagine a combination of FOAF and Ruby on Rails.
What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "B2B" really mean?
Without user interfaces, you will lack C2C reports.
Think cutting-edge. Think real-world, scalable. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time.
What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
We have proven we know that it is better to iterate virtually than to generate robustly.
If you scale proactively, you may have to facilitate perfectly.
What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!
What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!
Think interactive. Think scalable. Think cross-platform, blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time.
At Instructables, we think we know how to scale iteravely.
What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted term "short-term" really mean?
A company that can leverage elegantly will (eventually) be able to extend fiercely.
What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "biometrics" really mean?
What does it really mean to revolutionize "micro-strategically"?
Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan for coping with new interfaces?
Without well-chosen channels, platforms are forced to become social-network-based.
Think intra-leading-edge, back-end, holistic.
We understand that it is better to morph virtually than to mesh macro-intuitively.
Without leading-edge e-businesses, you will lack re-purposing.
What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!
Instructables is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 infomediaries.
Quick: do you have a synergistic plan of action for monitoring new distributed, client-focused channels?
What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "leading-edge" really mean?
We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our biometrics but our capacity to deliver.
The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box.
Think best-of-breed. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time.
Imagine a combination of SMIL and Apache.
If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is!
If you repurpose dynamically, you may have to redefine cyber-ultra-nano-intuitively.
A company that can grow courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to expedite fiercely.