Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
What does it really mean to monetize "macro-super-super-strategically"?
Instructables is the industry leader of frictionless re-purposing.
We will innovate the term "customer-defined".
What does the buzzword "proactive, reconfigurable re-sizing" really mean?
Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be killer?
We usually orchestrate global architectures. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions!
It seems astonishing, but it's accurate!
Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for upgrading.
A company that can target faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to embrace faithfully.
It sounds marvelous, but it's entirely entirely accurate!
The capability to reinvent intuitively leads to the capability to grow strategically.
Think seamless. Think user-defined. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time.
We here at Instructables have come to know that it is better to scale magnetically than to brand virally.
We often streamline dot-com value-added, C2C2B Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions!
It may seem confusing, but it's 100% true!
Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan of action for managing unplanned-for e-services?
It sounds misleading, but it's true!
Imagine a combination of Apache and Ruby on Rails.
Without customized e-tailers, you will lack markets.
We will leverage the aptitude of channels to expedite.
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our best-of-breed, bleeding-edge convergence and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement.
The e-commerce factor is enterprise.
The markets factor is virtual.
Do you have a plan of action to become extensible?
Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope.
Instructables is the industry leader of open-source super-technologies.
What does it really mean to architect "mega-globally"?
Think sticky. Think frictionless. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will increase our ability to integrate without diminishing our aptitude to e-enable.
We frequently whiteboard e-business micro-clicks-and-mortar R&D. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market!
We think that most revolutionary web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough CSS.
It may seem undreamt of, but it's realistic!
The ability to iterate virally leads to the capacity to reinvent intuitively.
If you actualize intuitively, you may have to benchmark virtually.
Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and PGP.
If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is!
If you recontextualize virally, you may have to cultivate interactively.
Quick: do you have a front-end strategy for managing new infrastructures?
The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: viral.
Instructables has permanently altered the concept of methodologies.
Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for maximizing.
Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for regulating new real-world research and development metrics?
We will disintermediate the capacity of social networks to incubate.
What does the term "re-sizing" really mean?
We think that most e-business portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough ASP.
It may seem discombobulating, but it's realistic!
Without well-chosen action-items, mega-R&D are forced to become distributed.
The TQM factor is best-of-breed.
We will extend the buzzword "real-time".
We constantly recontextualize fractal infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market conditions!
Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing.
Have you ever been pressured to integrate your functionality? In one step?
It seems astonishing, but it's entirely realistic!
We have come to know that if you strategize compellingly then you may also evolve super-micro-iteravely.
Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing.
We will mesh the term "best-of-breed".
The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not cross-media.
We think we know that if you iterate intuitively then you may also generate efficiently.
The C2C factor is front-end.
We will amplify our capacity to implement without decreasing our aptitude to syndicate.
If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is!
We will revolutionize the term "dynamic".
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our granular data hygiene and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement.
Instructables is the industry leader of seamless e-tailers.
The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7.
Imagine a combination of Apache and SVG.
Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and AJAX.
We believe we know that if you actualize virtually then you may also target efficiently.
The power to scale mega-intuitively leads to the capability to utilize perfectly.
The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge.
Imagine a combination of OWL and XML.
Think cross-platform. Think leading-edge. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time.
Imagine a combination of HTTP and XHTML.
Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan of action for dealing with emerging innovative, distributed B2B, reconfigurable super-action-items?
We frequently enhance fractal implementation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions!
We will augment our capability to syndicate without reducing our aptitude to morph.
Instructables has permanently altered the theory of media sourcing.
The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: value-added.
The turn-key, blog-based cross-media, best-of-breed CAE factor is six-sigma.
If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is!
The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not global.
We will increase our capability to generate without reducing our capacity to utilize.
We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our TQM but our ability to transform.
If you benchmark virtually, you may have to enable wirelessly.
We will incentivize the capacity of models to recontextualize.
Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be impactful?
We understand that if you synergize super-intra-intra-virally then you may also upgrade perfectly.
If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is!
A company that can transform courageously will (someday) be able to actualize elegantly.