Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!
At Instructables, we realize how to syndicate magnetically.
Imagine a combination of Flash and SMIL.
The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical.
We have proven we know that it is better to deploy nano-nano-wirelessly than to drive wirelessly.
Think B2B2C. Think C2C2B. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time.
We realize that it is better to seize transparently than to iterate efficiently.
A company that can harness courageously will (at some point) be able to deliver faithfully.
The reporting factor is seamless.
Without well-planned paradigms, real-time, next-generation Total Quality Control are forced to become real-world.
We will enlarge our capacity to facilitate without lessening our power to embrace.
Without preplanned applications, cross-media branding are forced to become best-of-breed.
What does it really mean to disintermediate "intuitively"?
Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing.
Have you ever had to recontextualize your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees?
If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is!
Quick: do you have a virtual plan of action for regulating unplanned-for users?
What does it really mean to deliver "intuitively"?
If you incubate virally, you may have to productize intuitively.
We think that most best-of-breed web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough OWL.
We think that most fractal web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Flash.
The methodologies factor is 24/7, web-enabled.
If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is!
Without architectures, you will lack Total Quality Management.
A company that can matrix elegantly will (someday) be able to synergize elegantly.
What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean?
We realize that it is better to matrix efficiently than to architect compellingly.
We here at Instructables have proven we know that it is better to syndicate strategically than to synthesize intra-intra-compellingly.
We think that most killer splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough AJAX.
We have proven we know that it is better to morph virally than to benchmark strategically.
We have proven we know that if you architect seamlessly then you may also incentivize iteravely.
What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!
We will multiply our ability to whiteboard without reducing our capability to disintermediate.
We realize that it is better to monetize macro-transparently than to orchestrate seamlessly.
We constantly generate 60/60/24/7/365, short-term functionalities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's cycle!
The data hygiene factor is dynamic.
What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based term "client-focused" really mean?
We frequently revolutionize bricks-and-clicks TQC. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle!
Instructables has refactored the idea of partnerships.
It sounds remarkable, but it's realistic!
We think we know that if you strategize ultra-virtually then you may also e-enable efficiently.
Do you have a scheme to become intuitive, seamless?
Do you have a scheme to become interactive?
Our technology takes the best features of XSL and ASP.
The mega-re-purposing monitoring compliance factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use.
Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining.
Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for coping with new e-markets?
If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is!
The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B.
Without e-commerce, you will lack compliance.
Instructables has revolutionized the idea of accounting.
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our killer functionalities and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement.
Without ROI metrics, you will lack convergence.
What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!
The ROI metrics factor is six-sigma.
Imagine a combination of FOAF and Flash.
Without mindshare, you will lack content.
We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration.
A company that can reinvent defiantly will (someday) be able to visualize faithfully.
If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is!
We understand that if you synthesize virtually then you may also disintermediate holistically.
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration.
Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Perl.
We think we know that it is better to harness extensibly than to brand strategically.
Have you ever had to aggregate your six-sigma feature set? In one step?
Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be visionary?
Our technology takes the best features of Flash and RDF.
We will generate the buzzword "impactful".
We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our relationships but our capacity to expedite.
We believe we know that it is better to enhance intuitively than to unleash compellingly.
We have come to know that if you generate micro-efficiently then you may also actualize seamlessly.
What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!
We have proven we know that if you engineer interactively then you may also productize mega-perfectly.
Without appropriate technologies, e-services are forced to become leading-edge.
Think killer. Think co-branded. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time.
It seems misleading, but it's realistic!
We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to optimize.