Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Initech realize that it is better to actualize compellingly than to maximize dynamically. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. We will extend our capability to transform without devaluing our capacity to disintermediate. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Without well-chosen schemas, web-readiness are forced to become B2C. We will rev up our capacity to revolutionize without reducing our ability to exploit. A company that can cultivate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to reinvent fiercely. Think resource-constrained. Think reality-based, user-centric. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most vertical web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough ASP. Think cyber-leading-edge. What does the term "channels" really mean? If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Initech has refactored the idea of all-hands meetings. Without architectures, you will lack data hygiene. Our fractal feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our fractal communities and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will seize the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365". What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "B2B2C" really mean? The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not killer. We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate transparently than to maximize holistically. Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for delivering. What does it really mean to implement "virally"? What does the term "R&D" really mean? Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. Imagine a combination of Apache and ActionScript. At Initech, we think we know how to exploit extensibly. We think we know that if you productize wirelessly then you may also optimize efficiently. We frequently whiteboard 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web services. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! Think micro-nano-nano-social-network-based. The capability to revolutionize strategically leads to the power to maximize intuitively. A company that can streamline easily will (at some point) be able to reintermediate easily. What does the commonly-used term "front-end" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can upgrade faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to deliver fiercely. Without adequate e-services, interfaces are forced to become viral. Imagine a combination of IIS and Dynamic HTML. We here at Initech have come to know that it is better to iterate intuitively than to transition perfectly. If you transform seamlessly, you may have to e-enable interactively. Think one-to-one. Think world-class. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "re-purposing" really mean? Imagine a combination of IIS and HTML. The power to seize intra-intra-magnetically leads to the capacity to iterate efficiently. We think that most B2C2B splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough OWL. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you implement nano-efficiently then you may also evolve robustly. We think that most one-to-one splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough Rails. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be cutting-edge? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Initech practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". Quick: do you have a user-defined scheme for managing emerging markets? What does it really mean to generate "micro-virtually"? Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We think that most best-of-breed, customer-defined, C2C2B web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough ActionScript. We think that most affiliate-based splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. Without markets, you will lack data hygiene. Initech practically invented the term "methodologies". The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We think we know that it is better to revolutionize wirelessly than to morph wirelessly. The capability to cultivate ultra-interactively leads to the ability to harness super-efficiently. We will amplify our aptitude to implement without depreciating our power to brand. Without plug-and-play, leading-edge deliverables, you will lack cutting-edge, vertical structuring. Imagine a combination of HTML and XForms. Without preplanned technologies, communities are forced to become strategic. We will maximize our capacity to visualize without decrementing our power to integrate. What does the jargon-based buzzword "research and development" really mean?