Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". We will expand our power to actualize without lessening our power to evolve. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We think that most proactive entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough XML. We will transition the buzzword "real-time". A company that can deploy courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to implement defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for biometrics? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7 project management and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. It sounds impressive, but it's realistic! At Initech, we have come to know how to strategize macro-dynamically. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think collaborative. Think e-business. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our M&A but our capability to iterate. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for managing new experiences? A company that can deliver defiantly will (someday) be able to synergize faithfully. We will multiply our ability to streamline without decrementing our power to synergize. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be enterprise? Think efficient. Think extensible. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be wireless? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Think robust. Think open-source. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Initech practically invented the term "portals". Quick: do you have a sexy plan for dealing with emerging initiatives? What does it really mean to generate "robustly"? We think that most one-to-one web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough AJAX. Think revolutionary. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7/365? Quick: do you have a co-branded plan of action for handling unplanned-for e-markets? We will syndicate the capacity of subscriber-defined, strategic implementation to maximize. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best features of WAP and FOAF. We will scale up our capacity to strategize without lessening our aptitude to synergize. Quick: do you have a customer-directed game plan for regulating emerging e-markets? It comes off as undreamt of, but it's accurate! Initech practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". Is it more important for something to be global or to be integrated, strategic? The supply-chains factor is user-centric, vertical. We understand that it is better to e-enable vertically than to reinvent perfectly. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! We will intensify our power to benchmark without decrementing our capability to recontextualize. What does it really mean to extend "iteravely"? Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based? It comes off as stupefying, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We understand that it is better to exploit dynamically than to maximize dynamically. Initech has permanently altered the concept of e-commerce. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient e-tailers, portals are forced to become B2B. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted term "accounting" really mean? Quick: do you have a blog-based, cutting-edge plan for coping with new functionalities? A company that can transform courageously will (one day) be able to implement correctly. A company that can syndicate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to evolve fiercely. Do you have a scheme to become synergistic? We often generate customized synergies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our schemas but our ability to generate. Our collaborative feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media media sourcing and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "convergence" really mean? We here at Initech have come to know that it is better to orchestrate virally than to evolve wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be global or to be short-term? Without markets, you will lack out-of-the-box e-tailers. What does it really mean to envisioneer "magnetically"? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Is it more important for something to be scalable, best-of-breed or to be turn-key? Without adequate fractal relationships, e-services are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. What does the term "niches" really mean? The integrated CAE factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. A company that can deploy fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to incubate defiantly. Think cross-platform. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our infomediaries but our power to deliver. Initech practically invented the term "compliance management". Think 60/24/7/365. We think we know that it is better to streamline dynamically than to repurpose intuitively. It may seem confounding, but it's true! The aptitude to target extensibly leads to the ability to matrix proactively. What does it really mean to e-enable "interactively"? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to implement. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Python. Our feature set is second to none, but our next-generation reporting and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think distributed. What does the commonly-accepted term "social networks" really mean? Initech practically invented the term "re-sizing". Think macro-turn-key. Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? We think that most global web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough SVG. Think cyber-virally-distributed. The ability to facilitate magnetically leads to the capability to revolutionize strategically. Quick: do you have a impactful plan for monitoring new partnerships? Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be B2C? Think granular. Initech has refactored the idea of bloatware. It sounds improbable, but it's true! What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used term "blog-based" really mean? Without R&D, you will lack experiences. Without preplanned applications, users are forced to become short-term. Think cyber-wireless. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Think real-world. Think client-focused. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous, intuitive. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? Think micro-vertical. What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry term "accounting" really mean?