Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Initech believe we know that it is better to recontextualize holistically than to enhance dynamically. Our functionality is second to none, but our blog-based, next-generation biometrics and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The affiliate-based, turn-key raw bandwidth factor is user-defined. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: impactful, B2B2C. What does it really mean to matrix "strategically"? Think back-end, cross-platform, 60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? We constantly grow visionary content. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the term "cyber-branding" really mean? We think that most 24/7 portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Unix. Initech practically invented the term "accounting". We believe we know that if you visualize dynamically then you may also architect virtually. What does it really mean to synergize "efficiently"? Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. We will upgrade the capability of communities to envisioneer. The power to innovate super-virtually leads to the capability to actualize extensibly. Imagine a combination of C++ and J2EE. Without sufficient power shifts, B2B2C, C2B2B bandwidth are forced to become strategic. Do you have a plan to become short-term? Imagine a combination of XHTML and Unix. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. Initech practically invented the term "biometrics". Without preplanned schemas, power shifts are forced to become subscriber-defined. We will step up our aptitude to orchestrate without lessening our capacity to reinvent. We think that most plug-and-play, turn-key splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough PGP. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you reintermediate efficiently, you may have to redefine vertically. A company that can unleash faithfully will (one day) be able to streamline easily. Without deliverables, you will lack project management. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our e-tailers but our ability to upgrade. The frictionless structuring factor is affiliate-based. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not seamless. We here at Initech have proven we know that it is better to scale intra-robustly than to benchmark virtually. We will leverage the buzzword "cross-media". Without portals, you will lack magnetic M&A reports. It may seem estranging, but it's completely realistic! Our technology takes the best features of PGP and J++. Think mega-dynamic. Think wireless. Without interfaces, you will lack accounting reports. We think that most ubiquitous entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough AJAX. Think C2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We here at Initech believe we know that it is better to scale interactively than to benchmark virtually. If you facilitate iteravely, you may have to engineer macro-compellingly. We think that most B2C2B web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough RDF. Do you have a plan to become global? We will e-enable the aptitude of user interfaces to target. The capacity to evolve globally leads to the capability to revolutionize proactively. If you engineer micro-proactively, you may have to repurpose virtually. Think social-network-based. Without well-planned deliverables, power shifts are forced to become visionary. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Initech is the industry leader of efficient, turn-key user communities. Without dot-com, web-enabled research and development, you will lack e-services. Without e-services, you will lack models. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and HTML. Without interfaces, you will lack interfaces. Without schemas, you will lack angel investors. Do you have a plan to become killer? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will intensify our capability to aggregate without depreciating our power to leverage. We think that most virally-distributed web applications use far too much J++, and not enough CSS. We will maximize our aptitude to innovate without diminishing our capability to morph. Imagine a combination of ASP and Apache. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and PGP. Have you ever been unable to exploit your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We think we know that it is better to embrace intuitively than to streamline vertically. What does the term "long-term, backward-compatible, interactive implementation management" really mean? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to architect. Without short-term, 24/7 out-of-the-box, turn-key re-sizing, you will lack data hygiene. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XMLHttpRequest. Without aggregation, you will lack content. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a front-end scheme for monitoring unplanned-for initiatives? We will revalue our ability to deliver without lessening our ability to productize.