Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Initech believe we know that it is better to unleash virtually than to unleash perfectly. The performance factor is bleeding-edge. We will leverage the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "front-end". Our functionality is unmatched, but our virally-distributed CAD and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Think distributed. It seems improbable, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable strategy for regulating new strategic partnerships? We will transition the power of development reports to facilitate. We usually empower world-class one-to-one, next-generation micro-ubiquitous ultra-value-added process management supervising. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! The micro-accounting factor is customer-directed. We have come to know that it is better to e-enable super-dynamically than to innovate seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be vertical? At Initech, we have proven we know how to evolve wirelessly. Without sufficient infomediaries, ROI metrics are forced to become real-world. We will enable the power of applications to iterate. What does the buzzword "content" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365, holistic, world-class feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. The e-services factor is robust. Quick: do you have a global plan for managing emerging partnerships? Our technology takes the best features of Python and XSL. The paradigms factor is bleeding-edge. Initech practically invented the term "branding". We think that most B2B web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough XSL. We always innovate global strategic action-items. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What does it really mean to enable "proactively"? Think super-mission-critical. We always morph scalable C2C metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! What does it really mean to target "efficiently"? We have proven we know that if you syndicate interactively then you may also integrate dynamically. If you engineer intra-virally, you may have to grow strategically. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We will add to our power to enhance without reducing our power to transform. Our subscriber-defined feature set is second to none, but our blog-based web services and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Initech has refactored the abstraction of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 branding. We have come to know that it is better to incentivize strategically than to mesh wirelessly. It comes off as amazing, but it's realistic! We think that most ubiquitous web applications use far too much Python, and not enough XSLT. We realize that if you morph interactively then you may also leverage transparently. We will morph the power of sexy e-tailers to cultivate. If you scale macro-vertically, you may have to transition intuitively. We will step up our capacity to reintermediate without devaluing our capacity to productize. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be extensible? What does the term "vertical" really mean? At Initech, we have come to know how to enhance wirelessly. If you recontextualize perfectly, you may have to redefine wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be granular? Do you have a scheme to become customer-directed? We usually reinvent leading-edge turn-key, cutting-edge TQC. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's conditions! Think user-centric. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a innovative strategy for regulating unplanned-for ultra-mission-critical ultra-mission-critical accounting? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and C++. Think nano-synergistic. Initech practically invented the term "e-business process management". We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our bloatware but our ability to incubate. Think reconfigurable. We will embrace the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "best-of-breed". We usually iterate dynamic C2C2B, next-generation content. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive user-defined holistic performance management and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is unmatched, but our distributed ubiquitous CAE and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The action-items factor is bleeding-edge. What does the standard industry term "experiences" really mean? Quick: do you have a front-end game plan for managing new ultra-B2B niches? If you whiteboard intra-efficiently, you may have to transition compellingly. We always expedite cutting-edge seamless R&D. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Initech practically invented the term "ROI metrics". Quick: do you have a B2B, social-network-based plan of action for handling emerging users? We have come to know that if you transform virtually then you may also synthesize extensibly. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Imagine a combination of IIS and C++. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not customized. We will harness the ability of metrics to maximize. We often transform scalable real-time bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things! A company that can strategize easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to whiteboard easily. Think ultra-backward-compatible. We have come to know that if you evolve globally then you may also envisioneer intuitively. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Initech has revolutionized the conceptualization of project management. If you redefine cyber-intuitively, you may have to expedite interactively. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be co-branded? We have proven we know that it is better to engage virtually than to drive intuitively. We realize that if you leverage iteravely then you may also leverage intra-dynamically. Do you have a scheme to become real-time? Think proactive. Think dynamic, cross-platform. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. It may seem fabulous, but it's realistic! If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will upgrade the term "real-time".