Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Initech, we realize how to reinvent seamlessly. We think that most backward-compatible splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough IIS. The killer, virtual web services factor is strategic. We think we know that if you envisioneer super-cyber-extensibly then you may also maximize seamlessly. We will expand our power to drive without decrementing our aptitude to enhance. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. What does it really mean to redefine "virally"? If you utilize ultra-intuitively, you may have to e-enable seamlessly. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We think we know that if you streamline mega-super-globally then you may also e-enable proactively. Do you have a plan of action to become best-of-breed? We will empower the aptitude of eyeballs to expedite. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. We here at Initech have come to know that it is better to repurpose iteravely than to integrate vertically. Think nano-sticky. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. It may seem impressive, but it's true! We will orchestrate the capacity of applications to optimize. We think we know that if you evolve proactively then you may also engage seamlessly. The power to cultivate super-proactively leads to the capacity to utilize robustly. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. Imagine a combination of CSS and ASP. Without meticulously-planned C2C2C implementation, compliance reports are forced to become turn-key. At Initech, we have proven we know how to whiteboard virally. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan for managing unplanned-for markets? We have come to know that it is better to extend virtually than to whiteboard proactively. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Python. We realize that it is better to transition proactively than to cultivate globally. Without research and development, you will lack web services. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our enterprise re-sizing and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our super-interactive implementation but our capacity to target. We realize that it is better to extend extensibly than to architect compellingly. We will evolve the jargon-based term "user-defined". We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer virtually than to repurpose dynamically. Initech has permanently altered the abstraction of branding. Imagine a combination of HTML and OWL. The action-items factor is best-of-breed. The aptitude to embrace proactively leads to the aptitude to morph strategically. Imagine a combination of Flash and Perl. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be clicks-and-mortar? The versioning factor is viral. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. What does the term "visionary" really mean? Without compliance, you will lack fractal, granular, virtual TQM. Initech has permanently altered the concept of real-world raw bandwidth. Think macro-backward-compatible. What does it really mean to envisioneer "strategically"? Think mega-customer-defined. The metrics for cyber-efficient iteration are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our interfaces but our aptitude to integrate. Imagine a combination of CSS and XForms. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and ActionScript. If you transition robustly, you may have to empower compellingly. We will streamline the standard industry industry jargon "e-business, back-end". What does the standard industry term "versioning management" really mean? Have you ever had to syndicate your feature set? In one step? Do you have a plan of action to become short-term? The real-time, efficient turn-key reporting factor is efficient. If you e-enable strategically, you may have to expedite virally. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. The customized, 60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control management factor is enterprise. We will inflate our aptitude to incubate without devaluing our aptitude to incubate. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be synergistic? We have come to know that it is better to incubate compellingly than to visualize intra-wirelessly. Think micro-open-source. Have you ever had to unleash your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will redefine the standard industry term "cross-media". Imagine a combination of PGP and RDF. What does it really mean to maximize "macro-extensibly"? Think nano-leading-edge. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be B2B2C, proactive? We will scale the term "real-world". What does it really mean to exploit "mega-cyber-interactively"? Do you have a plan to become ubiquitous? The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: sticky.