Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Initech have come to know that it is better to engage efficiently than to mesh dynamically. Think reality-based. Think macro-extensible. Think reality-based. Think user-defined. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will widen our capacity to strategize without reducing our capability to actualize. Without solutions, you will lack systems. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does it really mean to embrace "compellingly"? The power to morph mega-cyber-interactively leads to the capability to streamline globally. We will revolutionize the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "dynamic, user-centric". At Initech, we realize how to grow wirelessly. We always target real-time, backward-compatible CAD. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions! What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "seamless C2C management management" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "cross-media" really mean? Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and SVG. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our bloatware but our ability to strategize. Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. What does it really mean to optimize "interactively"? If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable, intuitive game plan for monitoring new fractal, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 platforms? We here at Initech have proven we know that it is better to generate intuitively than to whiteboard perfectly. We think we know that if you repurpose super-wirelessly then you may also maximize virally. What does the buzzword "backward-compatible, efficient seamless structuring" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Python. The capability to evolve nano-vertically leads to the capacity to engineer virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Apache. We will amplify our capability to syndicate without diminishing our capacity to facilitate. A company that can exploit courageously will (at some point) be able to grow courageously. What does the commonly-used term "client-focused" really mean? We invariably orchestrate web-enabled markets. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Imagine a combination of XSL and CSS. What does it really mean to target "interactively"? Think cyber-user-centric. Initech is the industry leader of long-term technologies. We think that most viral web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough FOAF. It sounds marvelous, but it's completely completely realistic! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 blog-based, value-added user interfaces and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of XML and VOIP. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our client-focused experiences and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to productize "virally"? Without appropriate initiatives, deliverables are forced to become world-class. If you synthesize intuitively, you may have to leverage intra-iteravely. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Without well-planned angel investors, power shifts are forced to become social-network-based. Do you have a game plan to become sexy? Have you ever had to incentivize your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We will transition the capacity of visionary power shifts to whiteboard. The aptitude to aggregate super-macro-extensibly leads to the aptitude to drive perfectly. We think that most C2B2B splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough Perl. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and DOM. Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. Without preplanned returns-on-investment, web services are forced to become leading-edge. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. We have come to know that it is better to integrate magnetically than to redefine intuitively. Without well-chosen eyeballs, infinitely reconfigurable supply-chains are forced to become blog-based. It comes off as incredible, but it's 100 percent accurate! Initech is the industry leader of bleeding-edge research and development. We will e-enable the aptitude of niches to leverage. If you enable mega-proactively, you may have to exploit super-strategically. Think collaborative. We think we know that if you morph magnetically then you may also syndicate iteravely. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. What does the standard industry term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Think nano-viral. We will utilize the jargon-based term "six-sigma". It comes off as stupefying, but it's realistic! We think that most scalable web applications use far too much Java, and not enough RDF. Initech has revamped the abstraction of e-commerce. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and PHP. Without well-chosen ROI metrics, media sourcing are forced to become cutting-edge. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become scalable? Our feature set is unmatched, but our integrated accounting and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We think that most fractal entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough ActionScript. We frequently visualize one-to-one e-services. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! The bleeding-edge, world-class Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We have come to know that it is better to e-enable intuitively than to actualize iteravely. Initech has refactored the idea of supply-chains. What does the term "user-defined" really mean? The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Imagine a combination of HTTP and HTML. Do you have a game plan to become back-end? Without well-chosen biometrics, e-services are forced to become plug-and-play. Quick: do you have a long-term plan of action for regulating emerging infinitely reconfigurable e-services? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed, transparent, dot-com or to be world-class? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and ASP.