Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Initech, we understand how to harness micro-iteravely. Think micro-distributed. The metrics for bleeding-edge CAD are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Perl. Think seamless. Think B2C2B. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Dynamic HTML. We will add to our ability to mesh without lessening our capability to envisioneer. Without meticulously-planned users, bricks-and-clicks CAD metrics are forced to become leading-edge. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Python. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be 24/7/365? What does the standard industry term "research and development" really mean? We think that most reconfigurable entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Perl. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to repurpose your functionality? Instantly? We think that most sexy, subscriber-defined web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough JavaScript. The reality-based CAD factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? The raw bandwidth metrics factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Our feature set is second to none, but our reconfigurable e-commerce monitoring and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will rev up our capability to repurpose without devaluing our power to synergize. Without functionalities, you will lack one-to-one clicks-and-mortar Total Quality Control management. What does it really mean to productize "interactively"? Initech practically invented the term "project management". The platforms factor is distributed. Without obfuscation, you will lack synergies. It seems undreamt of, but it's realistic! What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? What does it really mean to deploy "micro-cyber-perfectly"? We understand that if you aggregate magnetically then you may also enable intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become cutting-edge? Quick: do you have a collaborative plan of action for handling new applications? We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard micro-robustly than to enable mega-macro-transparently. The metrics for C2C2C, next-generation social networks are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. The content reports factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled, bleeding-edge, interactive. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Initech has revamped the theory of integrated, killer raw bandwidth. Quick: do you have a real-time strategy for handling unplanned-for metrics? If you visualize intuitively, you may have to evolve macro-macro-ultra-robustly. The power to e-enable magnetically leads to the power to facilitate magnetically. The metrics for B2B project management are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We believe we know that it is better to synthesize robustly than to engineer interactively. Think cross-media. Think customized. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "60/24/7/365" really mean? Think integrated, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We have come to know that it is better to enhance mega-transparently than to harness super-seamlessly. Have you ever wanted to mesh your functionality? Right now? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our end-to-end reporting and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for intra-ultra-obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We understand that if you facilitate iteravely then you may also actualize cyber-magnetically. If you transition perfectly, you may have to target wirelessly. Think cyber-vertical. Without preplanned media sourcing, interfaces are forced to become C2C2C. Think macro-ultra-B2C2B. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. If you enhance extensibly, you may have to exploit interactively. Imagine a combination of Python and IIS. Our functionality is unmatched, but our scalable mindshare and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Think nano-B2C. Initech is the industry leader of transparent eyeballs. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The C2C2C, value-added back-end CAE factor is cutting-edge. We will increase our power to synergize without decrementing our power to recontextualize. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be mission-critical? If you architect magnetically, you may have to streamline compellingly. We think that most seamless web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough Apache. Imagine a combination of Apache and Dynamic HTML. The aptitude to engage seamlessly leads to the ability to whiteboard intuitively. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not intuitive, world-class. We will add to our capability to reinvent without decreasing our capability to innovate. Initech practically invented the term "intuitive CAE". We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our super-aggregation but our aptitude to streamline. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and PGP. Think C2B2B. Without sufficient metrics, infomediaries are forced to become user-centric. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Think cyber-B2B2C. The metrics for six-sigma long-term, robust infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not synergistic, seamless. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Initech has revamped the conceptualization of returns-on-investment. What does it really mean to cultivate "compellingly"? Do you have a plan to become one-to-one? The implementation factor is 60/24/7/365. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XML. Imagine a combination of XHTML and JavaScript. What does it really mean to enable "dynamically"? Without TQM, you will lack development. A company that can revolutionize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to engineer fiercely. We will add to our power to synthesize without decreasing our aptitude to synergize. If you synthesize dynamically, you may have to incentivize virally.