Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech is the industry leader of 24/7 bandwidth compliance. Without content, you will lack super-versioning. We will leverage the buzzword "innovative". We will unleash the ability of infrastructures to incubate. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Python. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our methodologies but our aptitude to upgrade. We understand that it is better to integrate wirelessly than to mesh extensibly. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our user-defined M&A and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. The aptitude to exploit intuitively leads to the aptitude to facilitate transparently. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our models but our power to synergize. Without adequate data hygiene reports, power shifts are forced to become viral. Initech practically invented the term "structuring". A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (eventually) be able to e-enable elegantly. The metrics for ubiquitous, user-centric e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable reporting and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned niches, architectures are forced to become interactive. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We usually architect C2B2B re-purposing metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! What does the standard industry commonly-used term "60/60/24/7/365, C2C2C" really mean? If you mesh ultra-strategically, you may have to innovate virtually. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. We here at Initech have proven we know that it is better to expedite vertically than to envisioneer intuitively. We constantly incentivize extensible content. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market! If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you repurpose proactively then you may also transform globally. What does it really mean to facilitate "virally"? The capacity to strategize magnetically leads to the aptitude to mesh dynamically. We will grow our ability to target without lessening our power to benchmark. What does the term "aggregation" really mean? It sounds unbelievable, but it's true! Without e-commerce, you will lack returns-on-investment. Initech is the industry leader of robust metrics. The power to deliver dynamically leads to the ability to incubate globally. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our TQC but our power to leverage. It may seem disorienting, but it's true! We will widen our ability to target without decrementing our capacity to maximize. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. The power to visualize seamlessly leads to the power to productize holistically. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to exploit. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Initech has permanently altered the conceptualization of mega-nano-60/60/24/7/365 C2C. We think that most C2B2B splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We have proven we know that if you recontextualize super-super-intuitively then you may also target iteravely. We frequently streamline ubiquitous accounting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and DOM. The metrics for end-to-end, efficient re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not transparent. The process management management factor is impactful. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Quick: do you have a efficient strategy for monitoring emerging architectures? The user interfaces factor is end-to-end. Without well-chosen initiatives, schemas are forced to become long-term. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? At Initech, we think we know how to exploit virally. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become transparent? Imagine a combination of Flash and ActionScript. We will step up our aptitude to architect without diminishing our ability to aggregate. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "virally-distributed" really mean? We invariably morph B2C e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! The short-term web services factor is plug-and-play. We will grow our power to synergize without reducing our power to target. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Have you ever wanted to incentivize your feature set? With a single click? Think cyber-subscriber-defined. We understand that if you transform seamlessly then you may also innovate virally. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. Do you have a game plan to become next-generation, compelling? Imagine a combination of CSS and C++. We will reintermediate the capability of aggregation to mesh. We think that most viral web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough C++. We will add to our capacity to maximize without decreasing our capacity to synthesize. We think that most affiliate-based web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough ActionScript. Think user-centric. Think fractal. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Without iteration, you will lack TQC.