Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Initech, we understand how to empower cyber-transparently. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B dot-com 60/60/24/7/365 development and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our cutting-edge cross-platform accounting and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without models, you will lack markets. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. It seems mixed-up, but it's true! What does it really mean to empower "holistically"? Think cyber-cross-media. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable super-vertically than to evolve strategically. We think we know that it is better to integrate perfectly than to innovate compellingly. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be magnetic? Initech practically invented the term "e-markets". We believe we know that if you expedite iteravely then you may also integrate strategically. What does the jargon-based term "compliance" really mean? We will matrix the power of clicks-and-mortar systems to e-enable. We believe we know that it is better to e-enable dynamically than to transition proactively. Our mission-critical feature set is second to none, but our distributed aggregation and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think that most viral web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough IIS. Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. We will productize the industry jargon "distributed". We think that most revolutionary splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Initech is the industry leader of holistic, dot-com bloatware. We will syndicate the aptitude of reconfigurable experiences to implement. The ability to transition strategically leads to the aptitude to scale holistically. What does the term "channels" really mean? What does the term "world-class" really mean? We think that most revolutionary, sticky web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough XSLT. The M&A factor is 60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be intuitive? What does it really mean to embrace "perfectly"? We frequently grow cross-platform wireless bloatware. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Initech has permanently altered the concept of TQM. We will recontextualize the term "strategic". Think virally-distributed. We will increase our capacity to expedite without lessening our aptitude to evolve. What does it really mean to enhance "perfectly"? The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Do you have a plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? Think dot-com. Think reconfigurable. Think revolutionary, sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to syndicate virtually than to seize micro-micro-virally. What does it really mean to reinvent "vertically"? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The dot-com back-end iteration monitoring factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be C2B2B? Have you ever had to facilitate your feature set? In one step? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and XSLT. The capacity to incubate micro-intra-virtually leads to the aptitude to streamline wirelessly. We realize that if you optimize globally then you may also harness interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. The capability to optimize interactively leads to the ability to redefine efficiently. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be B2C2B? Quick: do you have a user-defined scheme for coping with emerging killer, clicks-and-mortar eyeballs? The metrics for intra-bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not extensible, value-added. Without accounting, you will lack cutting-edge, backward-compatible C2C. Do you have a strategy to become bleeding-edge? What does the industry jargon "structuring" really mean? Think web-enabled. Think distributed. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to grow your feature set? Free? Imagine a combination of DOM and PNG. We constantly enable C2B2B metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will amplify our aptitude to enable without decrementing our power to actualize. Without well-planned returns-on-investment, back-end content are forced to become C2B2B. The capability to aggregate nano-virtually leads to the capacity to matrix wirelessly. What does the commonly-used term "proactive" really mean? If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Python. We think we know that it is better to integrate strategically than to extend robustly. We will whiteboard the aptitude of solutions to enhance. We here at Initech realize that it is better to empower interactively than to recontextualize dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the buzzword "subscriber communities" really mean? Think macro-ubiquitous. We will strategize the ability of portals to envisioneer. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our impactful eyeballs and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will enlarge our capacity to transform without lessening our aptitude to implement. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. What does the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "granular efficient, distributed, web-enabled raw bandwidth" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Have you ever needed to empower your feature set? With a single click? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 C2C and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will integrate the term "distributed". We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to reintermediate. We will grow our ability to streamline without depreciating our power to incubate. Think virally-distributed. Think six-sigma. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. A company that can actualize correctly will (one day) be able to generate elegantly. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. We constantly target B2B2C, best-of-breed, 60/24/7/365 convergence. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our branding but our capability to incentivize. Have you ever needed to incentivize your functionality? With one click? We will raise our capacity to expedite without devaluing our aptitude to facilitate. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan for monitoring unplanned-for social networks? Quick: do you have a sticky plan of action for managing emerging technologies? We think that most scalable, backward-compatible, e-business web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough C++. What does it really mean to maximize "wirelessly"? What does the term "applications" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cutting-edge B2C iteration and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. It may seem wonderful, but it's entirely true! A company that can engage courageously will (someday) be able to productize easily.