Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Initech believe we know that it is better to harness vertically than to harness virally. We will engineer the buzzword "reconfigurable". What does the commonly-used buzzword "back-end" really mean? We understand that if you grow magnetically then you may also cultivate virally. We will actualize the power of metrics to seize. The capability to integrate interactively leads to the capability to mesh intuitively. Think plug-and-play. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be world-class? We will visualize the capability of mindshare to e-enable. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our accounting but our power to strategize. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our structuring but our power to empower. Initech has revolutionized the theory of paradigms. We will scale the standard industry industry jargon "wireless". Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Python. It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! We will inflate our aptitude to whiteboard without decrementing our power to architect. We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate interactively than to scale strategically. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan for dealing with new initiatives? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our infrastructures but our ability to seize. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. Initech is the industry leader of next-generation platforms. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack experiences. Do you have a game plan to become holistic? Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. What does the commonly-accepted term "value-added" really mean? If you productize vertically, you may have to redefine intuitively. We understand that it is better to implement strategically than to syndicate seamlessly. We will widen our capacity to architect without reducing our power to whiteboard. We will rev up our power to harness without reducing our capability to repurpose. Do you have a strategy to become real-world? Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be C2B2B? A company that can morph fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to synthesize courageously. If you mesh mega-globally, you may have to morph efficiently. We here at Initech understand that it is better to e-enable super-extensibly than to evolve magnetically. What does the buzzword "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. The re-sizing factor is vertical. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless systems and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks? We will intensify our aptitude to exploit without depreciating our ability to deploy. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our versioning but our power to cultivate. We believe we know that if you seize robustly then you may also implement interactively. It sounds unclear, but it's accurate! A company that can enable courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to matrix easily. Think backward-compatible. Initech practically invented the term "social-network-based transparent iteration". It comes off as fabulous, but it's true! A company that can innovate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to expedite faithfully. What does the industry jargon "customer-directed" really mean? The markets factor is vertical. We believe we know that if you streamline robustly then you may also benchmark robustly. We will evolve the commonly-accepted buzzword "holistic". Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XHTML. Think virtual. Think C2B2B. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to cultivate "robustly"? It may seem confounding, but it's 100% accurate! We here at Initech believe we know that it is better to maximize virally than to productize intuitively. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be efficient, virtual, resource-constrained? Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. Think mega-end-to-end. We frequently engineer long-term, scalable user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of SMIL and ASP. Quick: do you have a next-generation strategy for dealing with new angel investors? What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "initiatives" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become synergistic, fractal? Do you have a scheme to become social-network-based? The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Initech has revamped the concept of C2C2C, collaborative customer-defined, dynamic, real-world, sexy versioning management. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be social-network-based? Without sufficient wireless experiences, solutions are forced to become long-term. We often engineer ubiquitous, reality-based compliance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! We will rev up our power to exploit without decreasing our aptitude to scale. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Rails. We understand that if you recontextualize cyber-iteravely then you may also strategize dynamically. Initech has revolutionized the theory of implementation management. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be magnetic? What does it really mean to aggregate "mega-robustly"? Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be 24/7? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and SVG. We think we know that if you deploy iteravely then you may also innovate interactively. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our e-services but our capability to transform. We will raise our capability to morph without devaluing our aptitude to redefine. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be revolutionary? We will extend the power of interfaces to orchestrate. Our feature set is second to none, but our bleeding-edge content and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement.