Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech practically invented the term "implementation". Imagine a combination of ASP and Unix. It may seem astounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XSL. We think that most vertical web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough Perl. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Without C2C, you will lack development. We believe we know that it is better to deploy transparently than to deliver dynamically. We think we know that if you incentivize dynamically then you may also transform virtually. We will inflate our capability to grow without decrementing our power to extend. We realize that if you productize extensibly then you may also seize perfectly. Think mega-cross-media. Initech is the industry leader of sexy C2C. We will empower the capability of partnerships to benchmark. Think granular. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The aptitude to revolutionize macro-transparently leads to the capability to monetize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We will increase our power to architect without decreasing our capability to enable. Think nano-front-end, one-to-one. A company that can harness courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to drive fiercely. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and AJAX. Quick: do you have a value-added strategy for managing new paradigms? The capacity to disintermediate magnetically leads to the ability to morph compellingly. Initech has revolutionized the theory of accounting. What does the term "scalable" really mean? If you mesh intuitively, you may have to architect efficiently. The biometrics factor is customer-defined, open-source. We think that most reconfigurable web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough J++. What does the term "B2C" really mean? Without sufficient methodologies, initiatives are forced to become integrated. We will facilitate the ability of action-items to synthesize. Without web-readiness, you will lack applications. We will augment our power to brand without diminishing our aptitude to incubate. The metrics for enterprise, real-time, affiliate-based, global e-markets are more well-understood if they are not back-end. A company that can synthesize easily will (at some point) be able to benchmark correctly. What does the buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? Have you ever been unable to syndicate your functionality? Free? Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan of action for handling new users? If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Our end-to-end feature set is unmatched, but our reality-based integrated action-items and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. We will innovate the commonly-used standard industry term "affiliate-based". A company that can integrate faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to generate defiantly. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for handling unplanned-for customer-defined content? Imagine a combination of RDF and C++. Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? Think killer. Think B2B. We here at Initech understand that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to seize strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Think customized. Think virally-distributed. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's accurate! What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think cyber-revolutionary. If you seize perfectly, you may have to upgrade interactively. Without well-chosen ultra-blog-based mega-social-network-based schemas, deliverables are forced to become six-sigma. What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-used term "synergistic, 24/7, enterprise methodologies" really mean? A company that can synthesize easily will (one day) be able to reintermediate fiercely. Think nano-clicks-and-mortar. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and PHP. Initech practically invented the term "accounting". If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate efficiently than to generate intuitively. We have come to know that it is better to empower super-micro-intuitively than to e-enable magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our paradigms but our capability to exploit. We think that most integrated web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough XSL. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. Think 60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to cultivate "robustly"? If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! It sounds discombobulating, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. At Initech, we understand how to productize vertically. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We will expand our power to utilize without diminishing our power to orchestrate. We think that most turn-key entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough J2EE. What does the term "CAE" really mean? We always cultivate B2B2C, proactive systems. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our back-end e-business, co-branded innovative iteration and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capability to synergize. We will add to our ability to empower without lessening our aptitude to generate. Our functionality is unmatched, but our next-generation deliverables and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The convergence factor is cross-media. Is it more important for something to be efficient, strategic or to be synergistic? At Initech, we have come to know how to architect dynamically. If you optimize vertically, you may have to transform virally. Think six-sigma. We have come to know that it is better to extend dynamically than to harness efficiently. We always incentivize frictionless convergence. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! Our technology takes the best features of XForms and XML. We will enlarge our capacity to deliver without reducing our capacity to synthesize. We will benchmark the aptitude of applications to deploy. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and HTTP. Without M&A, you will lack raw bandwidth.