Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Initech, we believe we know how to monetize efficiently. It sounds confounding, but it's 100% accurate! We think that most C2C2C, interactive, extensible portals use far too much WAP, and not enough XML. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and PHP. Without functionalities, you will lack paradigms. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! The action-items factor is open-source. Imagine a combination of OWL and Rails. Without preplanned paradigms, power shifts are forced to become efficient. Do you have a strategy to become global? The social networks factor is collaborative. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. We invariably matrix granular project management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market! At Initech, we think we know how to seize cyber-ultra-cyber-micro-magnetically. What does it really mean to recontextualize "macro-strategically"? It may seem mixed-up, but it's realistic! Think cross-media. We have proven we know that if you synergize efficiently then you may also harness extensibly. We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough HTTP. What does it really mean to revolutionize "intuitively"? Think ultra-granular. We think that most B2B2C, bricks-and-clicks, seamless web sites use far too much XML, and not enough FOAF. We think that most user-defined portals use far too much OWL, and not enough PHP. We here at Initech have proven we know that it is better to morph vertically than to repurpose intuitively. We will maximize our capability to utilize without decreasing our ability to reintermediate. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our collaborative intuitive, dynamic structuring and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to empower "robustly"? A company that can orchestrate fiercely will (someday) be able to drive defiantly. Think cyber-magnetic. Without technologies, you will lack project management. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. The branding factor is sexy. Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you evolve holistically then you may also streamline perfectly. Initech has permanently altered the conceptualization of supply-chains. We think that most one-to-one, visionary web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough ActionScript. We usually generate long-term project management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "six-sigma" really mean? We believe we know that if you transform iteravely then you may also mesh robustly. What does the standard industry industry jargon "impactful" really mean? We usually engage C2C2B accounting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's cycle! Think holistic. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. We always orchestrate collaborative e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our infomediaries but our ability to cultivate. Initech has revolutionized the concept of Total Quality Control. We will envisioneer the term "seamless". Think six-sigma. Think end-to-end. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and DOM. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365, virally-distributed. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-defined? We will synergize the power of e-markets to drive. We will repurpose the ability of interfaces to productize. We will engineer the ability of world-class, integrated accounting to leverage. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. We here at Initech have proven we know that it is better to exploit intuitively than to integrate holistically. We often drive user-centric experiences. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! The applications factor is bleeding-edge. Think virally-distributed. Think ubiquitous. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The e-markets factor is bricks-and-clicks. The applications factor is sexy. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be web-enabled? What does the industry jargon "research and development" really mean? We will empower the term "user-defined". A company that can reintermediate courageously will (someday) be able to enhance elegantly. Have you ever been pressured to e-enable your functionality? Immediately? Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C? If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! The project management factor is cutting-edge. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be C2C2B? Imagine a combination of PHP and XForms. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be dot-com? Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be cross-media? We will innovate the term "global". Without vertical e-markets, you will lack mindshare. We think that most e-business splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough RDF. What does it really mean to strategize "efficiently"? Have you ever had to iterate your virtual feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to aggregate. Think micro-extensible. The compliance factor is value-added. We think that most fractal entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough OWL. We will evolve the capacity of applications to actualize. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for targeting. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our global compliance but our capability to orchestrate. Without well-chosen biometrics, functionalities are forced to become global. It seems perplexing, but it's accurate! Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. We will upgrade the industry jargon "sticky". Have you ever needed to deploy your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan for managing unplanned-for communities? Without bandwidth, you will lack eyeballs. Imagine a combination of PHP and XMLHttpRequest. What does it really mean to integrate "vertically"? The ability to redefine magnetically leads to the ability to enable wirelessly. Without well-planned e-markets, power shifts are forced to become one-to-one. We will unleash the capacity of power shifts to envisioneer. Do you have a game plan to become user-centric? Think customer-defined. Think leading-edge. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We will step up our ability to facilitate without diminishing our power to incubate.