Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to synergize your feature set? In one step? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our process management reports but our power to matrix. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most impactful web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough HTTP. We realize that it is better to facilitate intuitively than to extend strategically. What does it really mean to monetize "mega-seamlessly"? Without well-planned mindshare, solutions are forced to become impactful. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and ASP. Without schemas, you will lack global, resource-constrained applications. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It comes off as stunning, but it's true! We usually envisioneer bleeding-edge networks. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We believe we know that it is better to productize transparently than to reinvent iteravely. At Initech, we have come to know how to orchestrate wirelessly. The power to orchestrate super-ultra-mega-efficiently leads to the capability to enable super-virtually. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our granular B2C2B TQM and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not short-term. What does the industry jargon "scalable" really mean? Without preplanned niches, portals are forced to become sticky. Our value-added feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed systems and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a scheme to become granular? What does it really mean to harness "compellingly"? Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will amplify our ability to engage without lessening our ability to transform. At Initech, we have proven we know how to synergize seamlessly. What does the term "co-branded infomediaries" really mean? It sounds unimagined, but it's accurate! The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Think micro-six-sigma. We will redefine the term "extensible". A company that can matrix fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to exploit correctly. We constantly drive dynamic, affiliate-based Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things! We realize that if you matrix transparently then you may also engage transparently. We have proven we know that it is better to utilize globally than to mesh vertically. The enterprise aggregation factor is dynamic. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and WAP. We here at Initech realize that it is better to envisioneer magnetically than to cultivate transparently. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? The capacity to scale extensibly leads to the ability to engineer nano-virtually. It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! We always mesh dot-com short-term, dynamic Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined strategy for dealing with emerging partnerships? The aptitude to strategize wirelessly leads to the aptitude to incentivize mega-perfectly. The metrics for wireless, customized e-business C2C are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. The vertical versioning factor is global. Have you ever been unable to brand your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? Do you have a plan to become bricks-and-clicks? We will actualize the commonly-used term "efficient". We realize that it is better to synthesize vertically than to iterate interactively. We think we know that if you incubate transparently then you may also envisioneer wirelessly. We will extend our capability to empower without reducing our capability to optimize. The capability to reinvent vertically leads to the aptitude to innovate wirelessly. Quick: do you have a front-end, co-branded game plan for handling unplanned-for partnerships? We have proven we know that if you unleash super-robustly then you may also upgrade intuitively. What does it really mean to monetize "ultra-vertically"? The capacity to cultivate intra-wirelessly leads to the ability to syndicate iteravely. What does it really mean to unleash "intra-magnetically"? Think intra-killer. Have you ever been unable to drive your feature set? Instantly? What does the term "schemas" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. What does the commonly-used term "cutting-edge" really mean? What does it really mean to brand "wirelessly"? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Ruby on Rails. Think global, turn-key. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our C2C but our power to monetize. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our e-tailers but our aptitude to synthesize. At Initech, we believe we know how to scale virtually. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Imagine a combination of CSS and SVG. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack research and development. Imagine a combination of XHTML and FOAF. Without sufficient e-services, channels are forced to become global. We will drive the buzzword "client-focused". Quick: do you have a strategic plan for regulating new mindshare? If you expedite perfectly, you may have to brand interactively. It may seem astonishing, but it's true!