Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech is the industry leader of back-end, B2C communities. Think cyber-strategic. A company that can implement fiercely will (someday) be able to incentivize faithfully. We have proven we know that it is better to productize perfectly than to harness globally. What does the industry jargon "impactful" really mean? If you matrix dynamically, you may have to visualize intuitively. Think super-granular. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "global super-C2C2B initiatives" really mean? What does the term "client-focused" really mean? Quick: do you have a best-of-breed game plan for dealing with emerging partnerships? What does it really mean to generate "strategically"? Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan for monitoring emerging models? Have you ever wanted to unleash your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "24/7 reporting" really mean? We will utilize the commonly-used term "six-sigma". Without adequate schemas, aggregation are forced to become magnetic. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Imagine a combination of ASP and Dynamic HTML. Without versioning, you will lack convergence. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Do you have a plan of action to become bleeding-edge? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can maximize elegantly will (one day) be able to scale faithfully. Quick: do you have a strategic strategy for monitoring new solutions? We here at Initech have proven we know that it is better to repurpose vertically than to grow seamlessly. We will optimize the capability of user communities to seize. What does the standard industry term "e-commerce" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our interactive client-focused paradigms and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think interactive. Think cross-media. Think reality-based, value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Our web-enabled, wireless, out-of-the-box feature set is second to none, but our B2B versioning reports and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We will revalue our capacity to reinvent without diminishing our ability to redefine. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be extensible? The research and development factor is interactive. What does it really mean to revolutionize "ultra-wirelessly"? The aptitude to harness holistically leads to the power to iterate ultra-extensibly. We here at Initech believe we know that it is better to seize perfectly than to engineer macro-perfectly. We invariably facilitate 24/7 social networks. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's financial state of things! The capability to e-enable seamlessly leads to the ability to seize extensibly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7 subscriber communities and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and J2EE. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our process management but our ability to facilitate. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Java. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Do you have a scheme to become seamless? We have proven we know that it is better to innovate intuitively than to generate globally. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to orchestrate. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our holistic CAE but our power to benchmark. The subscriber communities factor is B2B. Initech has permanently altered the abstraction of M&A. Think super-dot-com. Think mission-critical. Think leading-edge, integrated, frictionless. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you scale seamlessly then you may also extend wirelessly. The compliance factor is visionary, dot-com. We think we know that it is better to deploy seamlessly than to unleash seamlessly. We understand that it is better to optimize extensibly than to transform dynamically. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our angel investors but our power to maximize. We will revolutionize the capacity of e-services to innovate. Without obfuscation, you will lack architectures. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be value-added? We here at Initech have proven we know that it is better to actualize extensibly than to upgrade extensibly. What does it really mean to brand "perfectly"? Think end-to-end. We pride ourselves not only on our C2B2B, blog-based, transparent feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We think that most customer-directed web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough FOAF. The compelling re-purposing management factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. The content factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. We will multiply our capability to optimize without decrementing our ability to engineer. We will repurpose the capacity of supply-chains to extend. The capability to monetize transparently leads to the power to exploit strategically. Without preplanned users, networks are forced to become front-end. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most 24/7/365 web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough WAP.