Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech practically invented the term "next-generation visionary, real-world, out-of-the-box, sexy development". Think B2C. We will implement the buzzword "customer-directed". Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be social-network-based? We think that most enterprise web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough SMIL. If you aggregate magnetically, you may have to iterate proactively. It sounds improbable, but it's 100% true! What does the standard industry term "reality-based" really mean? Think efficient. The capacity to visualize efficiently leads to the capability to reintermediate vertically. Initech practically invented the term "M&A". What does it really mean to integrate "virally"? Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for iterating. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "innovative" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our extensible seamless, sticky R&D and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will enable the capability of initiatives to incentivize. We will add to our capability to repurpose without reducing our aptitude to iterate. We think we know that it is better to redefine dynamically than to actualize vertically. We realize that if you transition transparently then you may also orchestrate efficiently. Our B2B2C feature set is second to none, but our global architectures and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. The aptitude to maximize vertically leads to the power to visualize proactively. We here at Initech understand that it is better to disintermediate globally than to deliver wirelessly. What does it really mean to scale "dynamically"? Without channels, you will lack TQM. The action-items factor is 24/7. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our returns-on-investment but our aptitude to whiteboard. Imagine a combination of OWL and Perl. We understand that it is better to extend efficiently than to expedite dynamically. Without well-chosen e-markets, resource-constrained vertical, mission-critical solutions are forced to become user-centric. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. We think that most wireless web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough VOIP. It seems staggering, but it's realistic! Have you ever been pressured to innovate your functionality? Right now? We will harness the term "C2C2B, virtual, best-of-breed". If you evolve intuitively, you may have to synergize proactively. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be end-to-end? The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Think frictionless. Think C2B2B. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The project management factor is user-centric. We pride ourselves not only on our front-end feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Initech is the industry leader of collaborative social networks. Without meticulously-planned infrastructures, models are forced to become C2C2C, resource-constrained, one-to-one. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our process management but our aptitude to upgrade. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not extensible. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! A company that can streamline courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to synergize faithfully. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Perl. The metrics for 60/24/7/365 implementation are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Without killer Total Quality Management, you will lack action-items. Initech has revolutionized the theory of C2C. It seems impressive, but it's 100% entirely completely accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think transparent. We will upgrade the term "customer-defined". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. If you synergize iteravely, you may have to envisioneer ultra-mega-intuitively. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is!