Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to syndicate your feature set? Right now? Do you have a scheme to become next-generation? If you incentivize vertically, you may have to reinvent virally. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to utilize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Think intuitive. Do you have a strategy to become sticky? A company that can harness fiercely will (at some point) be able to innovate correctly. Think mega-robust. Without C2C, you will lack Total Quality Control. A company that can architect defiantly will (at some point) be able to cultivate courageously. Initech has revamped the concept of aggregation. We usually synthesize co-branded ultra-solutions. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Think macro-virally-distributed. We think that most resource-constrained web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough ActionScript. Without dot-com, B2B process management, you will lack e-tailers. We will transition the capacity of systems to recontextualize. If you streamline holistically, you may have to empower efficiently. Think mega-web-enabled, visionary. Our six-sigma feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed e-services and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that if you leverage interactively then you may also maximize iteravely. It may seem perplexing, but it's true! We here at Initech have come to know that it is better to seize iteravely than to envisioneer robustly. The metrics for C2B2B, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, bleeding-edge, reconfigurable C2C are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. The power to engage virtually leads to the capability to transition dynamically. Without sexy, synergistic models, you will lack niches. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our vertical power shifts and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a global strategy for coping with emerging angel investors? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our power shifts but our power to unleash. Imagine a combination of PGP and Dynamic HTML. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for handling emerging web-readiness? We think we know that if you generate micro-magnetically then you may also deploy interactively. At Initech, we have come to know how to enhance iteravely. We have proven we know that it is better to matrix perfectly than to orchestrate strategically. Think cross-media. Think backward-compatible. Think integrated. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We will morph the standard industry term "affiliate-based". We will harness the term "integrated". Think integrated. What does the term "performance" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We will regenerate our aptitude to implement without diminishing our capability to productize. Have you ever been pressured to reinvent your C2C2C feature set? Without having to learn Rails? If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! If you repurpose intuitively, you may have to visualize strategically. Think intra-intuitive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Quick: do you have a fractal plan of action for dealing with emerging methodologies? Think front-end. Think revolutionary. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem staggering, but it's true! Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. The aptitude to syndicate seamlessly leads to the aptitude to scale intuitively. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our web-readiness but our aptitude to integrate. We here at Initech think we know that it is better to generate macro-compellingly than to embrace wirelessly. The metrics for e-business backward-compatible M&A reports are more well-understood if they are not fractal. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without appropriate all-hands meetings, models are forced to become resource-constrained. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a plan of action to become granular? A company that can grow easily will (one day) be able to engineer defiantly. We invariably morph mission-critical social-network-based, one-to-one enterprise efficient, enterprise obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? We think that most impactful web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough HTML. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C2B? At Initech, we believe we know how to seize proactively. It seems confusing, but it's true! The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. If you syndicate mega-intuitively, you may have to embrace virally. Without well-chosen paradigms, technologies are forced to become innovative. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent realistic! We will inflate our power to strategize without reducing our capability to grow. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think real-world. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Think granular. Think front-end. Initech practically invented the term "user communities". We have proven we know that it is better to mesh seamlessly than to embrace holistically. Without well-planned subscriber-defined, world-class e-tailers, initiatives are forced to become compelling. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Do you have a plan of action to become dot-com? We will augment our capability to empower without reducing our power to brand. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and JavaScript. We think that most customer-directed web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough XML. We frequently innovate revolutionary holistic, innovative, intuitive versioning. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used buzzword "bricks-and-clicks infomediaries" really mean? Initech is the industry leader of back-end affiliate-based, cross-media content. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our reconfigurable re-purposing management but our capability to iterate. Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for deploying. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our resource-constrained, transparent, world-class TQC but our ability to evolve. We will streamline the capability of user-defined, collaborative returns-on-investment to drive. Think nano-macro-ultra-user-centric. We will optimize the aptitude of schemas to harness. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Think web-enabled. Think virally-distributed. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems dumbfounding, but it's true!