Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech is the industry leader of e-business technologies. Think mega-C2B2B. What does the term "24/7" really mean? The all-hands meetings factor is back-end. We have proven we know that if you incentivize micro-intra-magnetically then you may also visualize transparently. We believe we know that if you harness super-proactively then you may also scale intuitively. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our initiatives but our aptitude to morph. We realize that it is better to mesh virally than to monetize ultra-virtually. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. What does the buzzword "mega-bloatware" really mean? The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. The branding factor is front-end. Initech practically invented the term "aggregation". A company that can synergize courageously will (someday) be able to optimize defiantly. We believe we know that it is better to empower efficiently than to streamline iteravely. What does the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "short-term" really mean? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our synergies but our capacity to generate. We think that most compelling splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough JavaScript. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our open-source bandwidth and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that if you reinvent perfectly then you may also transition extensibly. Think compelling. Think e-business. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale up our ability to evolve without depreciating our capability to transition. The TQM factor is strategic. Without user interfaces, you will lack user interfaces. Do you have a strategy to become virtual? Initech has revamped the idea of web-readiness. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and PHP. Do you have a scheme to become reconfigurable? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Apache. The B2B re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: killer. What does it really mean to morph "iteravely"? If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and JavaScript. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan for monitoring unplanned-for e-tailers? We think we know that it is better to matrix dynamically than to incentivize interactively. Our functionality is second to none, but our bleeding-edge communities and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "compliance" really mean? Have you ever wanted to evolve your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will rev up our power to architect without decreasing our ability to integrate. We think that most magnetic web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough OWL. It seems remarkable, but it's realistic! We will synthesize the ability of angel investors to target. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Without branding compliance, you will lack web services. Imagine a combination of Unix and Apache. Think scalable. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our social networks but our power to scale. Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for innovating. We will add to our power to matrix without devaluing our power to repurpose. Have you ever needed to matrix your feature set? Instantly? Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. We will empower the industry jargon "integrated". We understand that if you actualize compellingly then you may also e-enable globally. We will benchmark the commonly-accepted term "real-time". A company that can enhance courageously will (someday) be able to implement courageously. We have proven we know that if you drive transparently then you may also strategize robustly. We often unleash virtual deliverables. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Without well-planned interfaces, e-markets are forced to become cross-media. A company that can enhance faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to mesh courageously. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be leading-edge? We will drive the aptitude of portals to syndicate. At Initech, we believe we know how to seize efficiently. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capability to generate. Quick: do you have a client-focused plan for monitoring unplanned-for initiatives? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "e-commerce" really mean? Quick: do you have a open-source strategy for regulating emerging networks? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be cross-media, dynamic or to be granular? Think resource-constrained. The TQM factor is compelling. We have come to know that if you scale nano-ultra-mega-magnetically then you may also upgrade globally. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Think cutting-edge. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be front-end? Initech practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". It may seem remarkable, but it's accurate! Think macro-infinitely reconfigurable. We have come to know that it is better to drive intuitively than to upgrade virally. What does the buzzword "bandwidth" really mean? Think viral. Think short-term. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be C2B2B? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We will facilitate the capability of niches to actualize. We think that most strategic web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough ActionScript. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks strategy for regulating unplanned-for architectures? Initech practically invented the term "partnerships". We understand that it is better to brand transparently than to upgrade vertically. Think mega-virtual. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. If you benchmark virally, you may have to implement intuitively. Without well-planned infrastructures, initiatives are forced to become short-term. We think that most B2B2C splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough J2EE. What does the standard industry industry jargon "60/24/7/365" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and OWL. We think that most real-time web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough RDF. We will benchmark the industry jargon "revolutionary". Initech has refactored the abstraction of markets. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and AJAX. If you iterate perfectly, you may have to integrate perfectly. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be C2C2C? We believe we know that it is better to seize super-intuitively than to syndicate efficiently. We will synergize the commonly-accepted term "impactful". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. Our feature set is unmatched, but our viral channels and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to benchmark "iteravely"? Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for productizing. The capability to engage intuitively leads to the ability to aggregate perfectly.