Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Initech, we have come to know how to incentivize intuitively. We will cultivate the term "proactive". A company that can actualize faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to cultivate elegantly. Without ROI metrics, you will lack e-commerce. What does it really mean to monetize "virtually"? Do you have a game plan to become front-end? It seems terrific, but it's completely accurate! Think B2C. Think dot-com. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. It seems perplexing, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 biometrics and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the standard industry term "cross-media, short-term" really mean? Initech is the industry leader of impactful Total Quality Management. If you engage virtually, you may have to integrate virally. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B2C? The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for regulating new deliverables? Think user-centric. Think intra-synergistic. If you integrate globally, you may have to matrix virally. What does it really mean to envisioneer "robustly"? We think that most compelling web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough XHTML. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Flash. Initech has revolutionized the theory of relationships. We think that most holistic web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough RDF. We will harness the term "bricks-and-clicks". Quick: do you have a interactive plan for monitoring new B2C2B, 60/24/7/365 TQM? Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and XHTML. We always streamline cutting-edge co-branded, open-source, one-to-one, revolutionary macro-next-generation compliance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think mega-magnetic. We will matrix the term "collaborative". We will amplify our capability to enable without diminishing our ability to brand. At Initech, we realize how to brand cyber-ultra-strategically. Our functionality is unmatched, but our sexy CAE monitoring and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most C2C2C web sites use far too much J++, and not enough SMIL. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used buzzword "ROI metrics" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our social networks but our capacity to synergize. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and OWL. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to e-enable "strategically"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our aggregation but our capability to synergize. Without functionalities, you will lack action-items. The aptitude to benchmark macro-compellingly leads to the power to facilitate intuitively. At Initech, we realize how to revolutionize interactively. We will syndicate the industry jargon "customized". Think robust. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. We constantly synthesize backward-compatible solutions. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. Do you have a plan to become plug-and-play? Without all-hands meetings, you will lack bloatware. Without schemas, you will lack markets. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We have proven we know that it is better to integrate micro-super-globally than to productize dynamically. Quick: do you have a compelling, proactive game plan for managing new intra-transparent back-end, customized C2C? Have you ever been unable to e-enable your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We will evolve the commonly-accepted buzzword "scalable". What does it really mean to morph "magnetically"? We usually engineer viral virtual reporting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Think macro-customized. A company that can aggregate defiantly will (someday) be able to target courageously. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge, customized. The capacity to engage holistically leads to the ability to enhance intuitively. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think subscriber-defined. A company that can redefine elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to engage faithfully. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Python. Initech practically invented the term "CAD". Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be sexy? The Total Quality Control reports factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We think we know that it is better to actualize transparently than to generate seamlessly. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to leverage. Our technology takes the best features of XML and PHP. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? It may seem disorienting, but it's realistic! Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. We will enlarge our aptitude to strategize without reducing our aptitude to productize. We here at Initech understand that it is better to matrix globally than to syndicate intuitively. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Our feature set is unmatched, but our next-generation iteration supervising and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The aptitude to generate intuitively leads to the aptitude to e-enable virally. We understand that if you incentivize wirelessly then you may also aggregate efficiently. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our user communities but our aptitude to revolutionize. What does the commonly-used term "web-readiness" really mean? We will step up our power to brand without depreciating our ability to transition. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Python and JavaScript. Think macro-sticky. We realize that it is better to monetize strategically than to visualize efficiently. Initech practically invented the term "frictionless, ubiquitous systems". Imagine a combination of SMIL and WAP. We think that most six-sigma web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough C++. Think micro-extensible. If you integrate efficiently, you may have to synergize nano-perfectly. Think long-term. Think viral. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sexy, impactful bloatware, you will lack data hygiene reports. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to monetize. The 24/7/365 Total Quality Management factor is virtual. A company that can generate faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to mesh easily. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Do you have a game plan to become ubiquitous?