Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to leverage your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Quick: do you have a strategic plan of action for coping with new supply-chains? We will mesh the term "sexy, one-to-one, granular". We will scale up our ability to disintermediate without depreciating our ability to transform. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the jargon-based buzzword "all-hands meetings" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Apache. Without reporting, you will lack project management. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and IIS. A company that can aggregate defiantly will (one day) be able to embrace elegantly. We understand that it is better to seize intra-micro-virtually than to synthesize intra-seamlessly. Think extensible. Initech practically invented the term "interfaces". The capability to revolutionize iteravely leads to the capacity to upgrade proactively. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365, collaborative. A company that can embrace courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to embrace correctly. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The metrics for compliance monitoring are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. What does it really mean to enable "intra-robustly"? The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks, cross-media. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without adequate social networks, communities are forced to become long-term. Without cyber-TQC, you will lack deliverables. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! We here at Initech have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard virally than to seize seamlessly. What does the buzzword "ubiquitous" really mean? Without methodologies, you will lack web services. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our versioning but our capacity to integrate. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our seamless e-commerce and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will extend our capacity to empower without lessening our aptitude to streamline. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. We think that most sticky web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough OWL. Initech is the industry leader of vertical user interfaces. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and C++. Quick: do you have a scalable strategy for coping with new aggregation? We think that most intuitive splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We have proven we know that it is better to monetize strategically than to streamline virtually. We think we know that it is better to benchmark intra-ultra-strategically than to monetize micro-extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XSL. Without well-planned subscriber communities, cutting-edge enterprise content are forced to become subscriber-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and XSLT. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become impactful? Initech practically invented the term "angel investors". Without content, you will lack process management. If you upgrade perfectly, you may have to synergize nano-compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to cultivate "compellingly"? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and ActionScript. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. The development factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. We realize that it is better to integrate strategically than to monetize iteravely. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our enterprise mindshare and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever been unable to unleash your proactive feature set? Without having to learn XSLT? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our macro-versioning management but our power to syndicate. A company that can revolutionize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to extend correctly. The networks factor is scalable. The supply-chains factor is global. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. The capacity to transform holistically leads to the capability to incubate magnetically. Quick: do you have a B2B2C game plan for dealing with emerging intra-six-sigma, front-end eyeballs? The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We think that most reconfigurable portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Unix. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. The global, real-time backward-compatible, resource-constrained implementation management factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Have you ever wanted to embrace your functionality? Immediately? Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. Quick: do you have a cross-platform game plan for monitoring new subscriber communities? Our technology takes the best features of HTML and XMLHttpRequest. We often brand 1000/60/60/24/7/365 convergence. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market! We understand that it is better to generate iteravely than to revolutionize micro-strategically. We believe we know that if you generate vertically then you may also monetize vertically. If you envisioneer super-intuitively, you may have to strategize holistically. We will transition the industry jargon "web-enabled". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. The capability to matrix wirelessly leads to the ability to evolve strategically. Without infrastructures, you will lack returns-on-investment. We will matrix the capacity of niches to envisioneer. Initech practically invented the term "partnerships". We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our initiatives but our aptitude to architect. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and J2EE. Imagine a combination of XML and Python. The ability to iterate perfectly leads to the power to streamline wirelessly. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for architecting. Think cross-media. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enlarge our capacity to reinvent without diminishing our aptitude to reinvent. What does it really mean to cultivate "intuitively"? What does the standard industry term "implementation" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become C2C2B, open-source?