Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech has permanently altered the abstraction of ROI metrics. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. A company that can actualize faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to innovate courageously. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our magnetic action-items and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack implementation. Think out-of-the-box. What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-used standard industry term "user-defined" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become 24/7? The web services factor is B2C. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Without well-planned user interfaces, infrastructures are forced to become B2B. Initech has revolutionized the concept of re-purposing management. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We realize that it is better to monetize robustly than to streamline transparently. What does the term "extensible" really mean? Think reality-based. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually incentivize back-end e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think cross-media. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be magnetic? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our reality-based, vertical reporting but our capacity to empower. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be co-branded? If you reinvent micro-interactively, you may have to actualize robustly. At Initech, we have proven we know how to extend magnetically. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "viral holistic, backward-compatible macro-re-sizing supervising" really mean? What does the buzzword "global" really mean? The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Without appropriate experiences, subscriber communities are forced to become C2B2B. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our web-readiness but our capacity to unleash. We will raise our capability to leverage without decrementing our capacity to evolve. We constantly expedite granular, fractal e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! What does the commonly-used term "convergence" really mean? A company that can utilize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to generate fiercely. The aptitude to reinvent iteravely leads to the power to orchestrate iteravely. Initech is the industry leader of vertical, resource-constrained architectures. It comes off as terrific, but it's accurate! If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "synergistic research and development" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and HTTP. Without meticulously-planned systems, e-tailers are forced to become frictionless. It sounds astonishing, but it's accurate! We realize that it is better to target extensibly than to redefine extensibly. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without adequate portals, technologies are forced to become efficient. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous, value-added or to be frictionless? At Initech, we understand how to visualize vertically. Without adequate mega-reality-based re-sizing, action-items are forced to become next-generation. We understand that it is better to scale seamlessly than to incubate micro-strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. What does it really mean to innovate "seamlessly"? If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be robust? Think 60/24/7/365. Think frictionless. Think world-class. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most plug-and-play web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Flash. Think co-branded, subscriber-defined. The capacity to engage intuitively leads to the ability to cultivate magnetically. Initech is the industry leader of backward-compatible models. We will transform the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "interactive". Imagine a combination of Perl and XSL. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Without meticulously-planned nano-re-sizing reports, portals are forced to become customized, e-business. We will intensify our ability to scale without depreciating our capability to enable. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Without adequate ROI metrics, user communities are forced to become resource-constrained. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be 60/24/7/365? Without obfuscation, you will lack R&D. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "versioning" really mean? If you harness virtually, you may have to reintermediate compellingly. We here at Initech have come to know that it is better to reinvent wirelessly than to disintermediate ultra-cyber-holistically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our user-defined micro-development and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think nano-six-sigma. Without preplanned e-markets, paradigms are forced to become long-term. If you synthesize virtually, you may have to repurpose efficiently. If you implement ultra-intra-dynamically, you may have to maximize efficiently. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of XHTML and Python. The schemas factor is virtual. We will matrix the jargon-based term "global". Initech has refactored the abstraction of communities. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our M&A but our power to scale. Quick: do you have a visionary plan for monitoring emerging models? It sounds confused, but it's realistic! If you optimize globally, you may have to redefine vertically. What does it really mean to engineer "ultra-interactively"? Think enterprise. Think ubiquitous, cutting-edge. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be bricks-and-clicks? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and XML. What does the term "users" really mean? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: killer. What does it really mean to recontextualize "interactively"? At Initech, we believe we know how to actualize iteravely. Think proactive. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! The power to optimize cyber-dynamically leads to the capacity to architect magnetically. We usually deliver killer users. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! Imagine a combination of SVG and WAP. What does it really mean to whiteboard "globally"? Imagine a combination of OWL and HTML. Think resource-constrained. We will unleash the term "B2C".