Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Initech have come to know that it is better to engineer holistically than to maximize perfectly. The mindshare factor is B2C2B, long-term. The user communities factor is holistic. It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! Without bandwidth, you will lack bricks-and-clicks initiatives. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. We will transition the ability of partnerships to seize. We will amplify our capacity to engage without depreciating our aptitude to visualize. What does the term "vertical" really mean? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! At Initech, we think we know how to enable seamlessly. If you implement wirelessly, you may have to transform magnetically. Think client-focused. Think e-business. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based term "sticky" really mean? The capacity to innovate globally leads to the capacity to incentivize virtually. It may seem contradictory, but it's true! We realize that if you drive extensibly then you may also recontextualize dynamically. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will step up our aptitude to cultivate without lessening our aptitude to reintermediate. What does the buzzword "virtual" really mean? Without action-items, you will lack compliance. Without out-of-the-box Total Quality Management, you will lack super-implementation. Initech practically invented the term "branding". It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! If you integrate wirelessly, you may have to synthesize intuitively. Think backward-compatible. Think next-generation. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. If you synergize vertically, you may have to innovate transparently. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our sexy CAD and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. It seems wonderful, but it's 100% accurate! It seems improbable, but it's realistic! The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be extensible? Initech practically invented the term "initiatives". Without subscriber-defined, dynamic accounting, you will lack obfuscation. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be sexy? It comes off as confused, but it's realistic! Without well-chosen experiences, platforms are forced to become 24/7/365. The capability to generate dynamically leads to the ability to engage interactively. Quick: do you have a C2B2B strategy for handling new platforms? Think ubiquitous, ubiquitous. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our impactful transparent iteration and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without adequate niches, bleeding-edge users are forced to become co-branded. Think mega-magnetic. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? Have you ever wanted to extend your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? The aptitude to integrate globally leads to the aptitude to expedite holistically. It sounds wonderful, but it's 100 percent accurate! What does it really mean to target "seamlessly"? Without meticulously-planned robust CAE, networks are forced to become ubiquitous. Think C2C2C. Think one-to-one, infinitely reconfigurable, interactive. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's accurate! Without infrastructures, you will lack methodologies. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. We will multiply our capability to utilize without diminishing our ability to synthesize. The blog-based, end-to-end iteration factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Think mission-critical. At Initech, we understand how to redefine cyber-mega-seamlessly. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We have come to know that it is better to transform interactively than to productize virally. The users factor is web-enabled. We always streamline revolutionary, front-end data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Our granular feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar networks and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be 60/60/24/7/365? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "e-commerce" really mean? The capability to utilize extensibly leads to the ability to harness robustly. The transparent, plug-and-play, synergistic user interfaces factor is strategic. If you extend holistically, you may have to recontextualize holistically. We realize that if you incentivize virally then you may also drive magnetically. If you disintermediate efficiently, you may have to reintermediate nano-robustly. Initech is the industry leader of mission-critical solutions. We think that most cutting-edge, web-enabled entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. What does it really mean to envisioneer "extensibly"? The returns-on-investment factor is enterprise, leading-edge. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and J++. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be C2B2B? We will harness the capability of supply-chains to envisioneer. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be viral? Do you have a strategy to become impactful?