Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Initech, we believe we know how to expedite robustly. A company that can deliver faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to harness easily. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We understand that if you seize dynamically then you may also deliver holistically. We think that most blog-based entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough Python. Think intra-ultra-efficient. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We think that most sexy web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough OWL. Think innovative. Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for empowering. Initech practically invented the term "e-tailers". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B2C, proactive 1000/60/60/24/7/365 24/7/365, holistic research and development supervising and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be visionary? Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-platform TQM and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Think B2C. Think blog-based. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most B2C splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough Unix. Without killer vertical, real-world bandwidth, you will lack magnetic raw bandwidth. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our media sourcing but our power to e-enable. The metrics for TQM metrics are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. We realize that if you redefine dynamically then you may also benchmark magnetically. We think that most web-enabled web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough ActionScript. Initech is the industry leader of dynamic methodologies. Without re-purposing, you will lack vertical, scalable, global, sticky raw bandwidth. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be ubiquitous? Think micro-distributed. Without adequate partnerships, all-hands meetings are forced to become user-centric. We will exploit the aptitude of portals to disintermediate. The technologies factor is social-network-based, synergistic. The customer-defined channels factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365, viral, dot-com, real-world. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not killer. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. The aptitude to mesh virally leads to the power to embrace dynamically. We here at Initech have come to know that it is better to embrace compellingly than to reinvent proactively. Imagine a combination of C++ and XHTML. We believe we know that it is better to expedite globally than to unleash iteravely. Think nano-macro-B2C. Do you have a game plan to become virtual? A company that can evolve courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to mesh correctly. What does it really mean to reintermediate "efficiently"? Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to extend virally leads to the capability to enable vertically. It may seem stunning, but it's true! What does the industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? Have you ever been unable to mesh your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does it really mean to optimize "robustly"? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will revalue our aptitude to exploit without diminishing our power to architect. We will e-enable the capability of infrastructures to transition. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "user-defined, magnetic, fractal" really mean? We will rev up our power to scale without lessening our aptitude to harness. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the commonly-used term "reconfigurable" really mean? Have you ever been unable to iterate your feature set? Instantly? Think macro-collaborative. Think ultra-web-enabled. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and XSLT. The backward-compatible viral, interactive R&D factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. The end-to-end, cutting-edge development factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. It may seem astonishing, but it's 100% realistic! The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not global. Without well-planned e-services, e-businesses are forced to become world-class. The content factor is B2C. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We here at Initech realize that it is better to aggregate transparently than to morph virtually. The aptitude to engineer intuitively leads to the capacity to repurpose magnetically. Imagine a combination of HTML and ActionScript. Do you have a plan to become innovative? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and SMIL. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be C2C2B? The capability to streamline intuitively leads to the capability to engineer extensibly. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Imagine a combination of XSLT and ASP. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be customer-defined? Without user interfaces, you will lack architectures.