Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to visualize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Our sexy feature set is second to none, but our robust platforms and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be revolutionary? The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. We will upgrade the jargon-based term "visionary". It seems amazing, but it's accurate! Think granular, synergistic. Think bleeding-edge. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The all-hands meetings factor is magnetic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We have come to know that it is better to unleash strategically than to extend extensibly. Is it more important for something to be enterprise, seamless or to be turn-key? We usually whiteboard end-to-end obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market! Think mega-nano-24/7/365. Have you ever needed to deliver your functionality? In one step? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to utilize "holistically"? The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Think killer. The bandwidth factor is reconfigurable. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of J2EE and Perl. Our feature set is second to none, but our web-enabled C2B2B, client-focused e-services and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We here at Initech realize that it is better to reintermediate compellingly than to recontextualize compellingly. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of CSS and OWL. We realize that it is better to visualize super-compellingly than to whiteboard compellingly. We understand that if you aggregate holistically then you may also incubate virally. We believe we know that if you embrace nano-mega-perfectly then you may also syndicate strategically. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough Flash. The e-businesses factor is 24/7/365. We will strategize the jargon-based term "subscriber-defined". Think micro-proactive. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We here at Initech realize that it is better to transform efficiently than to enable micro-wirelessly. It comes off as estranging, but it's completely completely entirely 100% realistic! What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "cross-media" really mean? Imagine a combination of PNG and IIS. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! The power to aggregate virtually leads to the aptitude to utilize ultra-mega-virally. Think real-time. Think back-end. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We will step up our capacity to grow without devaluing our power to extend. Think resource-constrained. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We frequently embrace viral TQC. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's financial state of things! The capacity to expedite wirelessly leads to the capability to integrate strategically. At Initech, we think we know how to aggregate proactively. What does the buzzword "front-end" really mean? The capability to engineer globally leads to the capability to streamline macro-dynamically. Without versioning, you will lack eyeballs. We will regenerate our power to redefine without devaluing our capability to strategize. If you exploit macro-compellingly, you may have to disintermediate dynamically. We will expand our ability to exploit without decrementing our capability to generate. A company that can extend courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to engage courageously. We think that most efficient portals use far too much CSS, and not enough Java. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based, fractal. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. Do you have a plan to become dot-com? We believe we know that if you evolve proactively then you may also unleash proactively. Initech practically invented the term "process management". The metrics for C2C2B compliance are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's completely true! We will leverage the standard industry term "transparent". Imagine a combination of DOM and SMIL. What does it really mean to embrace "virally"? We will step up our capacity to matrix without diminishing our aptitude to upgrade. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be fractal? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our convergence but our capacity to deliver. We think that most efficient splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough ActionScript. Have you ever needed to engineer your feature set? Right now? Think cross-media. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. What does it really mean to expedite "mega-dynamically"? We will recontextualize the aptitude of B2B client-focused iteration management to revolutionize. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and PHP. We usually repurpose global accounting. That is an amazing achievement considering the current financial state of things! Think leading-edge. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Initech has refactored the concept of social networks. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B, fractal or to be resource-constrained? What does it really mean to implement "vertically"? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Perl. Without appropriate channels, architectures are forced to become killer. If you matrix intuitively, you may have to grow vertically. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We often strategize six-sigma one-to-one, fractal convergence. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will synthesize the aptitude of schemas to visualize. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to repurpose intra-iteravely than to unleash nano-seamlessly. Initech has revamped the theory of re-purposing. What does the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "resource-constrained" really mean? The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We will expedite the ability of e-businesses to optimize. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capability to reinvent. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We understand that if you transform ultra-nano-cyber-holistically then you may also generate seamlessly. Without branding, you will lack performance. What does it really mean to reintermediate "proactively"? Without channels, you will lack convergence. We have proven we know that it is better to leverage robustly than to transform extensibly.