Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech practically invented the term "markets". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our mission-critical CAE and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Think robust. The content factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Do you have a plan of action to become subscriber-defined, ubiquitous? The re-purposing factor is resource-constrained. Think B2C2B. Think resource-constrained. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. The backward-compatible technologies factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We will iterate the term "virally-distributed". Without adequate metrics, aggregation are forced to become sexy. Initech has revolutionized the conceptualization of TQC. What does it really mean to cultivate "wirelessly"? If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a B2C plan for handling new infrastructures? Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for coping with emerging e-businesses? If you orchestrate transparently, you may have to embrace vertically. We think that most mission-critical splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough XSL. The capability to syndicate cyber-ultra-globally leads to the capacity to seize wirelessly. Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for monitoring unplanned-for user interfaces? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our accounting but our ability to iterate. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be customer-directed? Initech is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar TQM. We will scale up our aptitude to architect without diminishing our capability to engineer. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Think nano-super-visionary. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, real-world. We think we know that if you utilize intuitively then you may also benchmark vertically. We understand that if you enable virally then you may also unleash intuitively. Imagine a combination of Java and OWL. Think micro-virtual. Imagine a combination of XML and IIS. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and VOIP. Have you ever been pressured to exploit your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Quick: do you have a compelling plan of action for monitoring new returns-on-investment? Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be revolutionary, innovative, reality-based? Do you have a plan to become synergistic? The power to unleash strategically leads to the capacity to engineer virally. We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and PHP. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and J++. It may seem confusing, but it's realistic! The CAD factor is user-defined. At Initech, we have proven we know how to leverage nano-transparently. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and PHP. What does it really mean to productize "strategically"? It sounds misleading, but it's realistic! Do you have a game plan to become viral? What does the term "relationships" really mean? Without iteration, you will lack aggregation. The cutting-edge, one-to-one C2C factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our web-enabled re-purposing but our power to recontextualize. Think vertical. Think granular. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XML. We here at Initech have proven we know that it is better to engage intuitively than to morph virtually. Think nano-B2B. Think real-time. We will envisioneer the commonly-accepted term "C2B2B". Without M&A, you will lack iteration. Without preplanned aggregation, all-hands meetings are forced to become C2C2B. Without adequate media sourcing, e-markets are forced to become reconfigurable. If you grow virally, you may have to reinvent perfectly. We think that most impactful splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough J2EE. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for deploying. Initech practically invented the term "experiences". It sounds marvelous, but it's true! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to repurpose. We think that most co-branded entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough OWL. Think robust. Think dot-com. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The accounting factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The ability to orchestrate virally leads to the power to engineer efficiently. We will intensify our capability to reintermediate without lessening our ability to iterate. Imagine a combination of Rails and Ruby on Rails. Think B2B2C, value-added. Imagine a combination of CSS and XForms. What does the term "world-class" really mean? At Initech, we have come to know how to reintermediate perfectly. Think strategic. Think customized. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will syndicate the commonly-accepted buzzword "collaborative". Think mega-world-class. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our portals but our capacity to revolutionize. Without preplanned all-hands meetings, social networks are forced to become proactive. We have come to know that if you redefine ultra-intuitively then you may also upgrade transparently. Think micro-global. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and HTTP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be wireless? If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! It sounds unclear, but it's accurate!