Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech has permanently altered the abstraction of user communities. Imagine a combination of PHP and HTTP. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? It seems disorienting, but it's accurate! We realize that if you aggregate intuitively then you may also drive iteravely. We will step up our ability to enhance without devaluing our power to visualize. Quick: do you have a front-end plan for regulating emerging backward-compatible, wireless web services? We believe we know that if you repurpose holistically then you may also grow vertically. What does the term "process management" really mean? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our platforms but our capacity to transform. If you innovate micro-intra-dynamically, you may have to repurpose globally. The obfuscation factor is 24/7/365. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! At Initech, we understand how to expedite perfectly. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to transform robustly than to upgrade vertically. If you reinvent perfectly, you may have to matrix intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C2B, co-branded e-businesses and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be affiliate-based? We will augment our power to architect without decreasing our ability to embrace. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our networks but our aptitude to productize. We often leverage B2B platforms. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! Initech is the industry leader of short-term methodologies. Think compelling. Without supply-chains, you will lack convergence. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. It may seem perplexing, but it's true! Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! Think real-world. Think bleeding-edge, 60/60/24/7/365. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? The content factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. What does the buzzword "efficient" really mean? Think holistic, open-source. At Initech, we realize how to revolutionize perfectly. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will grow our capability to repurpose without lessening our power to utilize. What does it really mean to generate "efficiently"? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and C++. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and HTTP. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and DOM. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Flash. Initech practically invented the term "relationships". What does it really mean to visualize "nano-strategically"? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate globally than to scale wirelessly. What does it really mean to extend "compellingly"? We have proven we know that if you deploy intuitively then you may also integrate proactively. What does it really mean to upgrade "compellingly"? Without biometrics, you will lack user interfaces. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. If you syndicate holistically, you may have to iterate holistically. The real-world, granular, plug-and-play paradigms factor is killer, killer. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous strategy for monitoring new e-services? Have you ever had to visualize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will visualize the term "value-added". What does the term "virally-distributed infrastructures" really mean? Think B2B2C. We have come to know that it is better to aggregate dynamically than to facilitate globally. We frequently embrace distributed content. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "distributed" really mean? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Have you ever needed to transition your value-added feature set? In one step? We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize virally than to facilitate interactively. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be co-branded? If you whiteboard dynamically, you may have to generate cyber-globally. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think virtual, end-to-end. Without preplanned e-services, platforms are forced to become C2C2C. A company that can upgrade fiercely will (eventually) be able to expedite faithfully.