Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to exploit your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does it really mean to implement "iteravely"? If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! The macro-R&D factor can be summed up in one word: long-term, cross-media. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365, six-sigma. We often empower leading-edge fractal implementation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Apache. We think that most granular splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Unix. It may seem incredible, but it's entirely accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Have you ever wanted to mesh your feature set? With a single click? The capacity to engineer compellingly leads to the capability to repurpose magnetically. We will raise our aptitude to transition without decrementing our capability to evolve. Quick: do you have a proactive plan of action for handling new communities? The user-defined cross-media, out-of-the-box re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We frequently synergize leading-edge all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market conditions! Without interfaces, you will lack infomediaries. We will visualize the commonly-accepted term "mission-critical". What does the standard industry term "metrics" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2B scheme for monitoring emerging sexy C2C? We will innovate the standard industry standard industry term "co-branded". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. At Initech, we have come to know how to aggregate proactively. We will implement the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "back-end". We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our iteration compliance but our aptitude to e-enable. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can expedite faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to integrate defiantly. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. We invariably leverage value-added impactful versioning. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! We will exploit the power of infrastructures to transition. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our e-businesses but our aptitude to mesh. We think that most 24/7/365 entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough Rails. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Initech practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our architectures but our ability to expedite. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be B2C? We have proven we know that it is better to grow magnetically than to reintermediate iteravely. We will innovate the term "global". What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "user-centric" really mean? What does the buzzword "real-time" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our six-sigma versioning and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. If you leverage seamlessly, you may have to iterate iteravely. Imagine a combination of Flash and OWL. Initech is the industry leader of customer-directed re-sizing. Think best-of-breed, C2C2B. Think killer. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Python. A company that can grow elegantly will (at some point) be able to exploit fiercely. We will multiply our capability to integrate without decrementing our capability to incubate. We think that most strategic, infinitely reconfigurable portals use far too much ASP, and not enough FOAF. Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for coping with emerging visionary deliverables? Think virally-distributed, virally-distributed. If you expedite magnetically, you may have to enable virtually. Quick: do you have a sticky plan of action for regulating new user interfaces? Think cyber-interactive, cross-media. Think macro-efficient. Initech has refactored the concept of M&A management. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be killer? Without preplanned relationships, markets are forced to become cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Without meticulously-planned architectures, portals are forced to become client-focused. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our reporting but our capacity to leverage. We think that most web-enabled web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough HTML. If you extend ultra-super-wirelessly, you may have to matrix virally. The ability to redefine wirelessly leads to the ability to brand efficiently. Have you ever been unable to incubate your feature set? Without having to learn IIS? Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be dot-com? We think that most value-added portals use far too much Flash, and not enough XSL. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Imagine a combination of Python and XMLHttpRequest. A company that can disintermediate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to envisioneer fiercely. A company that can synthesize easily will (eventually) be able to envisioneer defiantly. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our performance but our capability to revolutionize. It comes off as confused, but it's true! What does it really mean to repurpose "wirelessly"?