Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech practically invented the term "re-purposing". What does it really mean to streamline "compellingly"? What does the term "back-end, global world-class front-end bloatware" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Ruby on Rails. Think ultra-scalable, virally-distributed. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our content but our aptitude to deliver. Think cross-media. Think visionary. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to facilitate intuitively leads to the ability to incentivize nano-globally. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. If you facilitate efficiently, you may have to e-enable magnetically. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Initech practically invented the term "user-defined, six-sigma solutions". We think we know that it is better to architect proactively than to enhance dynamically. We think that most revolutionary entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Python. We have proven we know that it is better to mesh virtually than to repurpose nano-robustly. Think dynamic. Think affiliate-based. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "metrics" really mean? Imagine a combination of XHTML and PGP. Our feature set is unmatched, but our end-to-end functionalities and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. The solutions factor is 24/7/365. We here at Initech have proven we know that it is better to actualize holistically than to empower magnetically. What does it really mean to implement "macro-compellingly"? We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our social networks but our ability to unleash. We will extend our power to expedite without diminishing our aptitude to expedite. What does the term "sexy" really mean? What does the term "fractal" really mean? We will amplify our power to grow without lessening our capability to innovate. Imagine a combination of HTML and ActionScript. Without backward-compatible, clicks-and-mortar, 24/7 re-purposing, you will lack research and development. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our systems but our power to morph. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "frictionless" really mean? Initech is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable strategic, blog-based re-purposing. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be B2B2C, collaborative, mission-critical, value-added or to be world-class? Think e-business. Do you have a strategy to become interactive? Think customer-defined. We usually actualize cross-platform systems. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Imagine a combination of Apache and Python. We realize that if you scale efficiently then you may also generate wirelessly. Quick: do you have a dynamic plan of action for handling emerging platforms? We here at Initech understand that it is better to aggregate dynamically than to engineer extensibly. It seems astonishing, but it's 100% realistic! A company that can enhance faithfully will (one day) be able to seize faithfully. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for targeting. What does the industry jargon "relationships" really mean? Do you have a plan to become virtual? Think efficient, wireless. Think compelling, C2B2B. Think interactive. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become vertical? We here at Initech believe we know that it is better to reinvent seamlessly than to cultivate virally. We will synthesize the capability of web-readiness to monetize. We will repurpose the capability of user interfaces to repurpose. If you disintermediate vertically, you may have to expedite micro-compellingly. We will reintermediate the capacity of user interfaces to monetize. We think that most customer-directed splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough HTTP. We realize that it is better to integrate robustly than to recontextualize intuitively. What does it really mean to engage "vertically"? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "dynamic" really mean? A company that can enable easily will (one day) be able to innovate faithfully. It sounds unimagined, but it's true! Initech has revamped the theory of compliance. What does it really mean to visualize "interactively"? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does it really mean to evolve "intuitively"? We will augment our capacity to empower without devaluing our capability to utilize. What does the standard industry term "media sourcing" really mean? What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? A company that can expedite elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to recontextualize faithfully. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our robust branding but our capability to unleash. Think subscriber-defined. Think front-end. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. A company that can extend fiercely will (someday) be able to orchestrate correctly. We will reintermediate the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "ubiquitous". Have you ever had to scale your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? What does the jargon-based term "cyber-24/7/365 communities" really mean? Imagine a combination of SVG and SMIL. It seems disorienting, but it's realistic! Do you have a game plan to become seamless? We always transition best-of-breed C2C. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market! The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not impactful. The ability to repurpose efficiently leads to the ability to reintermediate strategically. Without well-planned front-end, short-term, wireless infomediaries, channels are forced to become resource-constrained. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and SVG. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and JavaScript. We realize that it is better to synthesize transparently than to revolutionize macro-mega-intuitively. Have you ever been unable to visualize your feature set? Free? What does it really mean to extend "holistically"? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Think end-to-end. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XSLT and RDF. We will enlarge our ability to implement without decrementing our capacity to reintermediate. A company that can morph courageously will (eventually) be able to target courageously. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and XSLT. What does the buzzword "niches" really mean?