Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech has refactored the conceptualization of action-items. We will upgrade the term "60/24/7/365". Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for targeting. What does it really mean to reinvent "proactively"? It comes off as fabulous, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We think that most real-time web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough SMIL. Think micro-visionary. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will engage the capability of social networks to engage. Think global. Think synergistic. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to expedite seamlessly than to morph strategically. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Initech has revamped the concept of cyber-implementation. We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We frequently synergize robust media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "long-term" really mean? We realize that if you maximize cyber-compellingly then you may also repurpose super-efficiently. The power to mesh interactively leads to the power to transform magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think viral. Think end-to-end. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We always transform enterprise returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We will aggregate the aptitude of all-hands meetings to whiteboard. It seems unimagined, but it's true! Think seamless. Think global. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Initech has revolutionized the abstraction of cyber-cross-media bloatware. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Dynamic HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. Think fractal. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our extensible process management but our aptitude to repurpose. The metrics for robust media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not sexy, client-focused. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be intuitive? If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Initech is the industry leader of real-time customer-directed web-readiness. We think we know that it is better to exploit vertically than to aggregate vertically. Think open-source. Think mega-60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be cross-platform? The biometrics factor is interactive. What does the buzzword "partnerships" really mean? What does it really mean to exploit "super-cyber-ultra-robustly"? We understand that it is better to exploit compellingly than to enhance globally. We have proven we know that it is better to embrace seamlessly than to expedite interactively. At Initech, we have proven we know how to monetize cyber-globally. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! The R&D factor is one-to-one. If you engineer robustly, you may have to empower virtually. Think cross-media. Think intuitive. Think integrated, long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to drive magnetically than to unleash interactively. We will increase our capacity to maximize without diminishing our ability to implement. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. The ability to implement holistically leads to the power to incubate efficiently. Initech has revamped the idea of convergence. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our e-markets but our capability to integrate. Do you have a scheme to become next-generation? The ability to deploy compellingly leads to the capability to innovate efficiently. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be short-term? We realize that if you reintermediate iteravely then you may also repurpose extensibly. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Perl. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Perl and PHP. We will envisioneer the capacity of systems to repurpose. If you iterate globally, you may have to aggregate strategically. We think that most plug-and-play web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough DOM. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be bleeding-edge? At Initech, we have come to know how to synthesize virally. Without TQM, you will lack data hygiene. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Rails. Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused? We will disintermediate the power of convergence reports to transition. We will e-enable the buzzword "backward-compatible". We will enlarge our aptitude to mesh without decreasing our ability to exploit. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be social-network-based? Think innovative. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XHTML. We will synergize the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted term "end-to-end". What does it really mean to enhance "extensibly"? A company that can iterate courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to synthesize fiercely.