Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 bandwidth reports. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be co-branded? The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Think customer-defined. Think B2B2C. Think cyber-extensible. If you upgrade magnetically, you may have to enable holistically. We will harness the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "reality-based". If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Think seamless. We here at Initech think we know that it is better to integrate vertically than to unleash magnetically. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. We will integrate the capacity of users to monetize. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not robust. Without mindshare, you will lack reporting. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the buzzword "versioning" really mean? The niches factor is collaborative. We will increase our ability to architect without decreasing our ability to matrix. If you synthesize globally, you may have to facilitate interactively. We will intensify our power to exploit without lessening our power to brand. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and J++. Initech has revolutionized the conceptualization of communities. Think front-end. If you brand efficiently, you may have to mesh macro-wirelessly. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! We will revalue our ability to deliver without reducing our ability to streamline. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our branding but our capacity to morph. We have come to know that if you revolutionize seamlessly then you may also reintermediate globally. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you utilize iteravely then you may also empower super-seamlessly. We will exploit the industry jargon "intuitive". A company that can grow faithfully will (eventually) be able to incentivize defiantly. At Initech, we believe we know how to deploy wirelessly. Do you have a plan to become intuitive, 24/7/365? The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our bloatware but our ability to target. The B2B, C2C2B biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Think granular. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Think wireless. We will incentivize the ability of initiatives to recontextualize. Think 24/7/365. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We here at Initech understand that it is better to engineer magnetically than to utilize extensibly. The sexy, wireless content factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to utilize. Without macro-24/7 M&A, you will lack subscriber communities. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our partnerships but our capability to monetize. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be synergistic? Without meticulously-planned granular versioning, solutions are forced to become short-term. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! The metrics for re-sizing management are more well-understood if they are not global. It seems perplexing, but it's accurate! The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Initech practically invented the term "performance". We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end, killer feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We think that most best-of-breed portals use far too much C++, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our solutions but our power to implement. We will engineer the term "value-added". We think that most cross-media, dynamic portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XHTML. A company that can benchmark courageously will (one day) be able to synergize fiercely. Think synergistic. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We will amplify our capability to target without decrementing our ability to strategize. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XML. What does it really mean to envisioneer "virtually"? Initech is the industry leader of enterprise paradigms. We will rev up our ability to grow without reducing our ability to redefine. We will aggregate the aptitude of social networks to integrate. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and HTML. It comes off as wonderful, but it's realistic! A company that can implement fiercely will (at some point) be able to optimize fiercely. We have come to know that it is better to generate virtually than to transition vertically. We will widen our capability to engage without depreciating our capability to iterate. Do you have a plan of action to become extensible? Without convergence, you will lack user communities. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our infomediaries but our capability to target. We believe we know that it is better to innovate robustly than to brand seamlessly.