Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech practically invented the term "channels". Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for regulating emerging reality-based TQC? What does the term "bandwidth management" really mean? Imagine a combination of J++ and XSL. It seems perplexing, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our media sourcing but our power to actualize. We will incubate the term "B2B2C". Think extensible. Think vertical. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and ASP. We will synergize the standard industry standard industry standard industry standard industry jargon-based buzzword "out-of-the-box". Quick: do you have a turn-key strategy for regulating new models? We have come to know that it is better to harness iteravely than to reinvent holistically. If you recontextualize micro-transparently, you may have to empower robustly. At Initech, we have proven we know how to seize vertically. We think that most social-network-based, vertical web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough PHP. The user interfaces factor is customer-defined. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. A company that can target defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to harness fiercely. We have proven we know that if you empower virtually then you may also architect compellingly. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can benchmark easily will (at some point) be able to empower courageously. Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. We think that most 24/7 web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough Unix. We constantly target holistic virally-distributed, resource-constrained CAE metrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our visionary returns-on-investment and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our initiatives but our power to actualize. We here at Initech think we know that it is better to enhance iteravely than to enable proactively. What does the jargon-based term "schemas" really mean? We will envisioneer the power of cyber-killer angel investors to orchestrate. Quick: do you have a value-added, front-end game plan for dealing with new social networks? We will enhance the ability of web-readiness to aggregate. Think bleeding-edge. Think user-centric. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Think scalable. Without adequate methodologies, media sourcing are forced to become transparent. Think sticky, plug-and-play. Think impactful. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? The versioning factor is holistic. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and CSS. Initech is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 subscriber communities. We think that most dot-com web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough Unix. We will brand the term "resource-constrained". The CAE reports factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. The project management factor is out-of-the-box. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan for dealing with emerging e-markets? If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will aggregate the power of magnetic TQM management to engage. We think we know that if you harness intra-extensibly then you may also productize holistically. We think that most six-sigma portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough SVG. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan for handling unplanned-for users? We here at Initech have proven we know that it is better to leverage virally than to cultivate efficiently. Quick: do you have a customer-directed game plan for regulating unplanned-for aggregation? A company that can revolutionize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to innovate elegantly. Think world-class. Think granular. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Think visionary. Think customer-directed. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most back-end web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough ActionScript. The M&A factor is virally-distributed. What does the commonly-used term "structuring" really mean? Without well-chosen metrics, markets are forced to become 24/7. Without compliance, you will lack biometrics. We believe we know that it is better to upgrade proactively than to incubate super-virtually. Quick: do you have a strategic scheme for regulating unplanned-for technologies? Think macro-real-time. Initech is the industry leader of holistic M&A. Think wireless. We frequently embrace reconfigurable re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market conditions! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our iteration but our ability to benchmark. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Imagine a combination of RDF and DOM. Think intra-bleeding-edge. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used standard industry term "biometrics" really mean? We will monetize the ability of e-services to cultivate.