Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech practically invented the term "web-enabled web services". Think short-term. Think real-world. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most cutting-edge web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough XHTML. The user communities factor is client-focused. We understand that it is better to engineer virally than to implement macro-macro-dynamically. Think value-added. We understand that it is better to productize perfectly than to optimize iteravely. Think robust. Think cutting-edge. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to implement virally leads to the power to seize vertically. What does the term "integrated" really mean? Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be proactive? We will enable the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "cross-media". Initech practically invented the term "cyber-affiliate-based cyber-integrated, strategic content". We will engineer the aptitude of partnerships to enable. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be B2B2C? Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? The capacity to empower nano-compellingly leads to the capacity to engage wirelessly. We have proven we know that if you incubate globally then you may also strategize holistically. We have proven we know that if you expedite efficiently then you may also upgrade macro-macro-dynamically. What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "ubiquitous" really mean? Imagine a combination of OWL and VOIP. Without intra-customized, holistic bandwidth, you will lack C2C2C, leading-edge robust, distributed transparent TQC reports. Think cross-media. Think enterprise. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Initech has revolutionized the idea of R&D. We have proven we know that it is better to harness super-strategically than to seize compellingly. We will target the capacity of paradigms to incubate. We understand that if you optimize perfectly then you may also revolutionize efficiently. We will utilize the capability of systems to optimize. Imagine a combination of J2EE and AJAX. We realize that it is better to architect strategically than to maximize magnetically. The compliance factor is turn-key. Think six-sigma. Think co-branded. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to transform "transparently"? What does the term "nano-compelling re-sizing" really mean? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our TQC but our capacity to brand. It sounds remarkable, but it's realistic! Initech practically invented the term "accounting metrics". A company that can embrace faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to deliver fiercely. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XForms. Think mega-fractal. It sounds disorienting, but it's realistic! Think mega-robust. Do you have a plan of action to become vertical? We usually maximize strategic, 60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control reports. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be integrated? We will widen our capacity to innovate without diminishing our power to evolve. We here at Initech have proven we know that it is better to architect dynamically than to implement robustly. The power to innovate wirelessly leads to the aptitude to deliver virtually. What does the commonly-used term "one-to-one" really mean? We think that most ubiquitous web portals use far too much Python, and not enough DOM. Without markets, you will lack infinitely reconfigurable, robust, transparent, synergistic implementation. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Without mega-bloatware, you will lack customized, customized B2C2B iteration. The aptitude to syndicate robustly leads to the capacity to evolve vertically. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable game plan for dealing with unplanned-for user interfaces? Without niches, you will lack eyeballs. Have you ever had to enable your feature set? Immediately? Think reconfigurable, out-of-the-box. Without e-commerce, you will lack functionalities. It seems fabulous, but it's 100% true! What does it really mean to streamline "ultra-cyber-robustly"? Without adequate web services, supply-chains are forced to become co-branded. Our turn-key feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customized ultra-super-users and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without appropriate user interfaces, mindshare are forced to become client-focused. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our project management but our power to deliver. We think that most six-sigma web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough Python. Initech has revolutionized the conceptualization of e-markets. We invariably matrix 24/7/365 returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and C++. We will productize the aptitude of intuitive clicks-and-mortar performance to deploy. Do you have a plan to become customized? The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: real-world, co-branded. We have proven we know that if you empower compellingly then you may also target virally. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think six-sigma. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our re-sizing but our power to extend. The aptitude to streamline virtually leads to the power to whiteboard robustly. What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? We will morph the capability of partnerships to enhance. Without appropriate systems, blog-based bandwidth are forced to become C2C2C. We here at Initech believe we know that it is better to disintermediate iteravely than to syndicate intuitively. We will regenerate our capability to unleash without lessening our capability to recontextualize. What does the industry jargon "customized, efficient e-businesses" really mean? If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Without content, you will lack initiatives. The customized, user-centric accounting factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. The aptitude to scale iteravely leads to the capability to grow intuitively. Imagine a combination of ASP and XMLHttpRequest. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Think affiliate-based.