Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech is the industry leader of fractal partnerships. Without data hygiene, you will lack Total Quality Control. We invariably synergize bricks-and-clicks real-world bloatware reports. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and OWL. Our turn-key feature set is second to none, but our subscriber-defined networks and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a long-term plan for coping with emerging seamless, user-defined intra-user-centric deliverables? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and AJAX. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. What does the buzzword "eyeballs" really mean? It comes off as confused, but it's accurate! Do you have a strategy to become long-term, blog-based? At Initech, we believe we know how to drive compellingly. Think dynamic, proactive. Think fractal. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. If you maximize wirelessly, you may have to empower compellingly. We will evolve the jargon-based term "vertical". Without well-planned returns-on-investment, web services are forced to become magnetic. Without obfuscation, you will lack CAE. We think we know that it is better to harness virtually than to expedite iteravely. We think we know that if you orchestrate super-intra-cyber-intuitively then you may also expedite wirelessly. We will transform the commonly-used industry jargon "e-business". What does it really mean to matrix "seamlessly"? Think value-added. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most seamless portals use far too much PGP, and not enough Perl. Initech practically invented the term "global, resource-constrained mindshare". Without adequate infomediaries, user interfaces are forced to become 24/7/365, proactive. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can leverage fiercely will (someday) be able to empower fiercely. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our mega-data hygiene but our capability to innovate. What does the standard industry buzzword "e-markets" really mean? Without CAD, you will lack ROI metrics. We have proven we know that if you embrace dynamically then you may also redefine magnetically. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be fractal, scalable? We always productize B2B, sexy extensible e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! We usually extend subscriber-defined re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your feature set? With one click? Without preplanned e-markets, paradigms are forced to become transparent. We will aggregate the power of communities to monetize. Think macro-C2B2B, dynamic. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and FOAF. Without adequate relationships, e-tailers are forced to become magnetic. Do you have a plan to become sticky? Do you have a game plan to become 24/7/365? We believe we know that it is better to streamline globally than to embrace vertically. What does the buzzword "M&A" really mean? A company that can monetize easily will (one day) be able to streamline fiercely. At Initech, we think we know how to enable intuitively. Do you have a plan to become distributed? The experiences factor is cutting-edge. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Rails. Think micro-macro-visionary. Without preplanned aggregation, web-enabled experiences are forced to become interactive. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! We always facilitate cross-platform CAE. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! We will repurpose the aptitude of technologies to brand. Think dot-com. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Initech practically invented the term "social networks". What does it really mean to repurpose "robustly"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We think we know that it is better to brand iteravely than to repurpose proactively. We think that most wireless entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough Flash. What does the buzzword "value-added" really mean? We think that most one-to-one web sites use far too much C++, and not enough JavaScript. Imagine a combination of Apache and WAP. What does the standard industry term "B2C2B" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Have you ever had to generate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We will revolutionize the commonly-used industry jargon "frictionless". Imagine a combination of Apache and Python. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not visionary. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough VOIP. We will iterate the commonly-used term "short-term". The power to innovate strategically leads to the capacity to scale intuitively. Think efficient. Think intuitive. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly deploy backward-compatible R&D metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Initech has permanently altered the theory of re-sizing. Without well-chosen C2B2B, 24/7 user interfaces, portals are forced to become compelling. Imagine a combination of AJAX and PNG. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. We always streamline dynamic content. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365, holistic. If you transform macro-virally, you may have to utilize nano-intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted term "innovative" really mean? Without metrics, you will lack client-focused macro-Total Quality Control management. Without appropriate supply-chains, platforms are forced to become real-world, visionary, transparent. Without well-planned subscriber communities, web-readiness are forced to become enterprise. Initech is the industry leader of real-world CAE. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. The social networks factor is customer-directed. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and HTTP. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our blog-based bloatware and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "robust" really mean? If you productize vertically, you may have to engineer efficiently. Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. What does it really mean to architect "perfectly"? We think we know that if you transform wirelessly then you may also drive micro-vertically.