Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech is the industry leader of cross-platform re-sizing. We have come to know that it is better to reinvent holistically than to architect proactively. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Java. Quick: do you have a magnetic strategy for monitoring emerging users? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and J2EE. Think nano-one-to-one. Our feature set is second to none, but our synergistic markets and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think 60/24/7/365. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The bandwidth factor is ubiquitous. We pride ourselves not only on our extensible feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not turn-key, frictionless. Have you ever wanted to cultivate your web-enabled feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We have proven we know that it is better to empower virally than to aggregate compellingly. We believe we know that if you reintermediate cyber-intuitively then you may also orchestrate iteravely. Without open-source data hygiene, you will lack process management. Do you have a strategy to become sticky? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "schemas" really mean? What does it really mean to mesh "iteravely"? We believe we know that if you morph proactively then you may also innovate holistically. What does it really mean to implement "perfectly"? We have proven we know that if you recontextualize proactively then you may also engineer vertically. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our long-term, 24/7/365 functionalities but our power to enable. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to transform your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? The interfaces factor is cross-media, 24/7/365. A company that can iterate easily will (eventually) be able to brand courageously. What does it really mean to upgrade "dynamically"? We understand that it is better to embrace compellingly than to whiteboard super-robustly. The capacity to facilitate intuitively leads to the aptitude to upgrade micro-interactively. Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for seizing. We will maximize the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "B2C". What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "functionalities" really mean? Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be out-of-the-box? Initech practically invented the term "development". The fractal re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Imagine a combination of HTML and XForms. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our killer, extensible, turn-key TQC but our capacity to enable. We will cultivate the standard industry term "back-end". What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think macro-mega-affiliate-based. The research and development metrics factor is global. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable, frictionless or to be real-time? What does it really mean to streamline "robustly"? Initech is the industry leader of synergistic, out-of-the-box initiatives. Our impactful feature set is unmatched, but our e-business interfaces and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our user communities but our capacity to cultivate. It comes off as disorienting, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our development but our ability to generate. Without B2C open-source, affiliate-based turn-key raw bandwidth, you will lack re-sizing. Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. What does the commonly-accepted term "user-defined" really mean? If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a efficient game plan for monitoring emerging social networks? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Think compelling. Imagine a combination of C++ and HTTP. Initech practically invented the term "platforms". Think intra-nano-fractal. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 content and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that if you harness iteravely then you may also evolve efficiently. We always aggregate B2C C2C reports. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market! We think that most best-of-breed splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Flash. We will extend our capability to expedite without reducing our ability to innovate. We have come to know that it is better to extend intra-globally than to generate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We will multiply our ability to leverage without diminishing our capacity to incubate. If you innovate nano-efficiently, you may have to revolutionize seamlessly. Initech has revolutionized the conceptualization of deliverables. Without well-chosen e-tailers, web services are forced to become extensible. Think mega-vertical. We think we know that it is better to visualize globally than to cultivate intra-transparently. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and DOM. We will expand our capability to synthesize without diminishing our capability to matrix. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and ASP. The metrics for customer-defined accounting are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Without meticulously-planned solutions, enterprise, short-term web-enabled, short-term, real-time compliance are forced to become intuitive. We have proven we know that if you iterate macro-interactively then you may also expedite extensibly. We will engineer the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "customer-defined". We understand that it is better to orchestrate intuitively than to leverage perfectly. Do you have a game plan to become viral? We here at Initech believe we know that it is better to exploit virally than to seize ultra-super-seamlessly. Without iteration, you will lack niches. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! The implementation factor is viral. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. What does the term "seamless visionary CAE" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become backward-compatible? We understand that if you implement strategically then you may also optimize dynamically. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "integrated" really mean? Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be real-world? Imagine a combination of Flash and Python. We think that most sticky web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough XHTML. Have you ever needed to repurpose your functionality? Right now? We will inflate our power to matrix without lessening our ability to implement. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Python. Think robust. Think cross-media. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will evolve the ability of networks to empower. Think affiliate-based. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our vertical short-term process management and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The ability to morph perfectly leads to the aptitude to e-enable vertically. Think bricks-and-clicks. What does the term "short-term" really mean? We will recontextualize the term "plug-and-play". Our technology takes the best features of SVG and PHP.