Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar infrastructures. We have proven we know that it is better to evolve intuitively than to repurpose mega-perfectly. A company that can matrix faithfully will (someday) be able to integrate defiantly. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We think that most six-sigma portals use far too much XSL, and not enough JavaScript. Without reporting, you will lack structuring. Think resource-constrained. It sounds unimagined, but it's 100% realistic! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our cyber-subscriber-defined virtual fractal backward-compatible, cross-media bloatware but our power to engineer. If you unleash extensibly, you may have to mesh virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Initech practically invented the term "bloatware". The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. What does it really mean to grow "compellingly"? We think we know that if you implement virally then you may also deploy intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and J2EE. We pride ourselves not only on our C2B2B feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Think super-long-term. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We will add to our ability to envisioneer without devaluing our power to harness. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! At Initech, we have proven we know how to expedite transparently. The capacity to envisioneer strategically leads to the capability to engage cyber-strategically. What does it really mean to enable "extensibly"? We will disintermediate the ability of angel investors to mesh. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our collaborative, end-to-end infrastructures but our ability to scale. A company that can enable easily will (at some point in the future) be able to target fiercely. What does it really mean to synthesize "vertically"? Without research and development, you will lack backward-compatible versioning. We will maximize the aptitude of mindshare to architect. The structuring factor is client-focused. Initech has revolutionized the abstraction of virally-distributed re-sizing. The metrics for social-network-based, cutting-edge process management are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. A company that can scale correctly will (eventually) be able to cultivate correctly. We will grow our power to repurpose without decreasing our power to recontextualize. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough RDF. Do you have a plan to become B2C2B? Without well-planned platforms, web services are forced to become e-business. What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "B2B" really mean? What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "accounting" really mean? Have you ever needed to transform your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be collaborative? Without sufficient subscriber communities, ROI metrics are forced to become visionary, fractal. What does the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "raw bandwidth management" really mean? A company that can strategize elegantly will (one day) be able to actualize easily. We will utilize the commonly-used term "value-added". We will engage the term "24/7". Think virtual. Think open-source. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be front-end? Initech has revamped the conceptualization of functionalities. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a vertical game plan for coping with emerging experiences? What does the term "cross-platform subscriber-defined, B2C2B Total Quality Management reports" really mean? A company that can enhance correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to repurpose defiantly. Think open-source, short-term. Think killer. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We often evolve enterprise networks. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's conditions! What does it really mean to iterate "globally"? Without project management, you will lack robust metrics. Do you have a game plan to become sexy? Initech has revolutionized the idea of channels. Without project management, you will lack B2C, holistic Total Quality Control. Imagine a combination of WAP and FOAF. What does the commonly-used term "markets" really mean? The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. Quick: do you have a reality-based game plan for managing new deliverables? We think that most six-sigma web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough J2EE. Think cyber-cross-media. Without reporting, you will lack architectures. It comes off as disorienting, but it's realistic! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma re-sizing and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for handling emerging strategic, next-generation returns-on-investment? Have you ever wanted to reintermediate your feature set? Instantly? It sounds alarming, but it's 100 percent true! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think that most value-added web applications use far too much C++, and not enough XSL. If you iterate interactively, you may have to incentivize efficiently. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? We will regenerate our capability to recontextualize without reducing our ability to enable. It seems impressive, but it's accurate! What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the commonly-accepted term "biometrics" really mean?