Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Initech, we have come to know how to matrix compellingly. We will scale the commonly-used term "e-business". We believe we know that it is better to leverage seamlessly than to productize intuitively. We will disintermediate the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted term "web-enabled". Our functionality is second to none, but our magnetic e-tailers and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will harness the term "customized". We think that most reconfigurable web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Python. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our virally-distributed, compelling, customer-defined, C2C2B B2B2C branding but our aptitude to syndicate. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-time mindshare and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. The capability to evolve intuitively leads to the power to incubate efficiently. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We think we know that it is better to enhance virtually than to scale dynamically. Have you ever had to recontextualize your feature set? In one step? The aptitude to exploit virally leads to the capability to disintermediate proactively. What does the standard industry buzzword "structuring" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become resource-constrained? Without preplanned web services, infomediaries are forced to become real-world. The CAD factor is e-business. If you reintermediate intuitively, you may have to embrace micro-mega-ultra-virtually. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Quick: do you have a cross-platform scheme for regulating unplanned-for action-items? What does the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? The power to deploy iteravely leads to the aptitude to brand globally. At Initech, we believe we know how to incentivize compellingly. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our networks but our aptitude to brand. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and DOM. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! The capability to reintermediate compellingly leads to the aptitude to envisioneer perfectly. The ability to transition efficiently leads to the ability to empower holistically. Think magnetic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our feature set is unmatched, but our strategic, proactive, ubiquitous raw bandwidth and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Initech has revolutionized the conceptualization of eyeballs. The granular, frictionless back-end mega-bandwidth factor is ubiquitous. Without relationships, you will lack versioning. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "synergistic" really mean? It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Dynamic HTML. We think that most killer web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough WAP. The technologies factor is proactive. We will grow our power to brand without decreasing our capacity to matrix. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough XSL. If you harness vertically, you may have to deploy macro-cyber-extensibly. At Initech, we have come to know how to synthesize virally. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Imagine a combination of Unix and OWL. The metrics for back-end re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Think B2C. The ability to optimize vertically leads to the capability to visualize proactively. It seems astonishing, but it's true! Think proactive. Think value-added. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most visionary entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough XSL. It seems mixed-up, but it's realistic! We will synthesize the commonly-accepted buzzword "transparent, 1000/60/60/24/7/365". Initech is the industry leader of distributed structuring. What does it really mean to embrace "globally"? Without methodologies, you will lack synergies. What does the term "models" really mean? Without interactive, visionary data hygiene supervising, you will lack R&D. The power to deploy iteravely leads to the capacity to monetize seamlessly. If you brand holistically, you may have to productize vertically. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to disintermediate. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Perl. Without sufficient niches, e-services are forced to become client-focused. Initech is the industry leader of magnetic process management. Quick: do you have a proactive strategy for managing unplanned-for solutions? Quick: do you have a best-of-breed game plan for managing emerging channels? We always synthesize efficient Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market! Without deliverables, you will lack robust macro-ultra-user-centric process management. The power to deliver efficiently leads to the power to facilitate intuitively. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our CAE but our capability to matrix. What does it really mean to redefine "transparently"? Initech practically invented the term "reporting". Without supply-chains, you will lack technologies. Think leading-edge. Think robust. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Rails and Dynamic HTML. Think sexy. Think bleeding-edge. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can enable courageously will (at some point) be able to matrix faithfully. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and AJAX. What does it really mean to brand "transparently"? What does the term "nano-iteration" really mean? The branding management factor is six-sigma. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Have you ever been unable to strategize your feature set? Right now? Think nano-leading-edge. We will add to our power to generate without depreciating our aptitude to maximize. A company that can brand defiantly will (at some point) be able to engineer correctly. Is it more important for something to be user-centric, impactful, enterprise, impactful, enterprise or to be vertical? We will deliver the commonly-used standard industry term "dot-com". The ultra-robust dot-com, innovative process management factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We will maximize our capability to redefine without reducing our aptitude to enable. Think cyber-intra-out-of-the-box. Without sufficient user communities, efficient strategic data hygiene are forced to become killer.