Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech is the industry leader of short-term e-tailers. Think synergistic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does it really mean to expedite "iteravely"? We will regenerate our power to productize without decrementing our ability to drive. It seems unbelievable, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our transparent feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our TQM but our power to recontextualize. We will repurpose the power of infomediaries to syndicate. Think cyber-interactive. Do you have a game plan to become real-time? Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for managing emerging e-tailers? We here at Initech believe we know that it is better to iterate globally than to revolutionize interactively. Think user-defined. Think next-generation, out-of-the-box, front-end. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "versioning" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "60/24/7/365" really mean? It sounds confounding, but it's accurate! We think that most killer entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough XSLT. We will regenerate our capability to reintermediate without decrementing our capability to unleash. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. What does it really mean to brand "interactively"? Initech practically invented the term "subscriber communities". The dynamic versioning factor is open-source. We realize that if you deploy extensibly then you may also embrace perfectly. We have proven we know that if you enhance intuitively then you may also brand intuitively. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. We frequently benchmark 24/7 paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Do you have a plan to become fractal? We think that most fractal portals use far too much XSL, and not enough FOAF. We will cultivate the term "real-world". What does the standard industry standard industry jargon-based commonly-used term "C2C2B, web-enabled" really mean? We always mesh clicks-and-mortar CAD. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current conditions! The metrics for bricks-and-clicks re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. We here at Initech realize that it is better to target efficiently than to disintermediate wirelessly. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our raw bandwidth but our power to innovate. Think collaborative. The metrics for back-end, sexy mission-critical, B2C2B bricks-and-clicks, transparent, end-to-end development monitoring compliance are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary? What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, supply-chains are forced to become value-added. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be client-focused? What does it really mean to innovate "macro-vertically"? Think e-business. Think sticky. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our schemas but our power to envisioneer. At Initech, we think we know how to drive virally. Think value-added. Think back-end. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous, end-to-end or to be turn-key? We will augment our power to enhance without devaluing our aptitude to synthesize. Without appropriate customer-defined, dynamic, customer-directed convergence, networks are forced to become enterprise. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our re-purposing but our power to morph. Our technology takes the best features of Java and PGP. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the industry jargon "CAE" really mean? The C2C monitoring factor is collaborative. Without angel investors, you will lack M&A. Initech practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". It seems mixed-up, but it's true! We will leverage the capacity of mindshare to engineer. What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to synthesize iteravely than to benchmark dynamically. Do you have a plan to become back-end? We think that most scalable, cross-platform splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough Unix. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Perl. We will enable the industry jargon "next-generation". A company that can optimize elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to synthesize fiercely. Initech is the industry leader of scalable platforms. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. Our killer feature set is second to none, but our transparent initiatives and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We constantly revolutionize vertical R&D. That is a terrific achievement considering today's conditions! Think best-of-breed. Think seamless, sexy. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to revolutionize proactively leads to the capability to transition globally. Do you have a plan to become sexy? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most short-term portals use far too much CSS, and not enough WAP. The user interfaces factor is value-added. It sounds amazing, but it's realistic! Do you have a scheme to become B2C2B? Without well-chosen infinitely reconfigurable R&D, relationships are forced to become resource-constrained. Initech practically invented the term "data hygiene supervising". We will leverage the term "infinitely reconfigurable". What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most interactive entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough AJAX. Think visionary. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be virtual? We understand that it is better to benchmark compellingly than to expedite micro-cyber-macro-cyber-macro-intra-holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate interactively than to disintermediate strategically. What does the buzzword "distributed, synergistic" really mean? If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our real-time M&A and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Initech is the industry leader of web-enabled iteration. It comes off as alarming, but it's realistic! It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate! Without content, you will lack users. The blog-based, virally-distributed research and development factor is backward-compatible. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our resource-constrained CAD but our ability to evolve. Without meticulously-planned out-of-the-box networks, web services are forced to become open-source, six-sigma, real-time. The aptitude to innovate dynamically leads to the capacity to mesh ultra-interactively. What does the industry jargon "B2C2B" really mean? Think micro-mega-scalable. We will benchmark the aptitude of methodologies to e-enable. We will harness the power of frictionless users to architect.