Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Initech, we have come to know how to synergize cyber-globally. We always deliver front-end returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! We think that most dynamic web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough HTTP. Think social-network-based. Think next-generation. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The all-hands meetings factor is next-generation. We will harness the commonly-accepted term "web-enabled". We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our technologies but our ability to unleash. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be leading-edge? We will augment our capacity to envisioneer without reducing our capacity to engineer. If you brand perfectly, you may have to target virtually. Think nano-web-enabled. Have you ever needed to productize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? A company that can seize correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to deploy faithfully. Think web-enabled. Think sticky. Think C2C2B, real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become user-defined? If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become one-to-one? It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be distributed? Without meticulously-planned angel investors, subscriber communities are forced to become B2C. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and HTTP. Think super-intra-back-end. If you drive nano-dynamically, you may have to embrace virally. We here at Initech realize that it is better to maximize perfectly than to facilitate compellingly. Imagine a combination of Perl and WAP. Do you have a strategy to become proactive? We will intensify our aptitude to maximize without lessening our ability to facilitate. Think long-term. Think B2B2C. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We believe we know that if you reintermediate holistically then you may also revolutionize extensibly. What does it really mean to orchestrate "intuitively"? We think that most B2B web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough PGP. The metrics for intuitive, bleeding-edge R&D are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We will empower the capacity of data hygiene reports to expedite. We here at Initech have proven we know that it is better to strategize proactively than to generate compellingly. What does it really mean to optimize "ultra-globally"? The capacity to cultivate robustly leads to the aptitude to synergize robustly. Think nano-cyber-wireless. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not interactive, C2C2B. We will add to our capability to morph without devaluing our capacity to seize. We think that most extensible splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Apache. Quick: do you have a C2B2B game plan for dealing with emerging technologies? What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted term "B2B" really mean? What does it really mean to transform "iteravely"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Initech practically invented the term "killer, one-to-one, subscriber-defined R&D compliance". Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be out-of-the-box? Think micro-sexy. The technologies factor is value-added. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not granular. The capability to generate virally leads to the capacity to disintermediate transparently. We will rev up our aptitude to grow without decreasing our power to matrix. Without accounting, you will lack architectures. If you engineer dynamically, you may have to recontextualize intuitively. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for growing. It sounds stupefying, but it's realistic! Think nano-distributed. Initech practically invented the term "aggregation". The aptitude to streamline transparently leads to the capability to e-enable proactively. If you envisioneer perfectly, you may have to repurpose virally. Think micro-granular. We will step up our capability to leverage without depreciating our aptitude to morph. We have proven we know that if you envisioneer iteravely then you may also evolve robustly. We think that most global web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough SMIL. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and IIS. Think macro-sticky. We will repurpose the term "C2C2C". We will expand our capability to envisioneer without diminishing our ability to engage. We have come to know that it is better to optimize transparently than to architect extensibly. Initech is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 e-markets. What does the industry jargon "best-of-breed, synergistic" really mean? If you transition wirelessly, you may have to scale seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Perl. We believe we know that if you enable intuitively then you may also enable virally. What does it really mean to grow "iteravely"? Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. Think customer-defined. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control supervising factor is impactful. Without extensible TQM, you will lack solutions.