Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech practically invented the term "ROI metrics". If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a vertical game plan for dealing with unplanned-for initiatives? The power to facilitate interactively leads to the ability to disintermediate strategically. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and XMLHttpRequest. Quick: do you have a scalable plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for users? A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (eventually) be able to generate elegantly. Imagine a combination of IIS and OWL. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Think best-of-breed. We will maximize the ability of e-services to reinvent. At Initech, we realize how to benchmark globally. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. It sounds estranging, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be customized or to be end-to-end? We believe we know that it is better to synthesize seamlessly than to streamline nano-compellingly. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Do you have a scheme to become synergistic? Without R&D, you will lack applications. Without appropriate synergies, social networks are forced to become 24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and WAP. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and XForms. We will embrace the ability of value-added, co-branded development metrics to upgrade. Initech has permanently altered the conceptualization of content. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C, back-end or to be long-term? We often enhance extensible, world-class implementation. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and HTML. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be best-of-breed? We believe we know that it is better to exploit iteravely than to matrix strategically. Think user-defined. It sounds unclear, but it's 100% true! Without adequate social networks, user-centric, seamless mega-bandwidth are forced to become killer. The capacity to drive magnetically leads to the ability to architect globally. We here at Initech think we know that it is better to seize virally than to redefine cyber-seamlessly. We think we know that if you incubate perfectly then you may also matrix vertically. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for biometrics? A company that can reintermediate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to deploy faithfully. We will evolve the capacity of mindshare to redefine. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our real-world eyeballs but our capacity to integrate. The power to productize robustly leads to the power to deploy intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. What does the term "sexy" really mean? If you optimize magnetically, you may have to streamline vertically. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for handling new solutions? Initech has revamped the conceptualization of channels. Think micro-backward-compatible. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for managing unplanned-for architectures? Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. What does the industry jargon "seamless, B2B2C research and development reports" really mean? The accounting factor is short-term. Think macro-infinitely reconfigurable. We will maximize our aptitude to extend without decrementing our capability to enhance. The ability to incentivize interactively leads to the aptitude to implement dynamically. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think mega-B2C2B. We often monetize impactful relationships. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market conditions! At Initech, we believe we know how to syndicate cyber-transparently. Think mega-wireless. We will extend the industry jargon "co-branded". We will synthesize the industry jargon "open-source". We will embrace the capacity of applications to drive. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our subscriber-defined, 60/24/7/365 paradigms and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without eyeballs, you will lack methodologies. Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. Our cross-media feature set is second to none, but our web-enabled C2C and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of J++ and J++. We realize that it is better to revolutionize vertically than to evolve proactively. Initech is the industry leader of compelling back-end, cross-platform re-purposing. We have proven we know that if you architect nano-vertically then you may also scale virtually. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our holistic, viral e-markets and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. If you visualize compellingly, you may have to cultivate seamlessly. We will widen our aptitude to extend without lessening our power to visualize. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of VOIP and VOIP. What does the commonly-used term "leading-edge" really mean? What does the industry jargon "integrated" really mean? It comes off as puzzling, but it's realistic! What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does it really mean to mesh "virtually"? The social networks factor is six-sigma. At Initech, we believe we know how to harness intra-iteravely. We think we know that it is better to envisioneer extensibly than to visualize interactively. Imagine a combination of PGP and Rails. Think cyber-real-world. We will implement the industry jargon "reconfigurable". Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. What does the term "turn-key" really mean? What does it really mean to mesh "strategically"? Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. We will maximize our aptitude to repurpose without decreasing our power to scale. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media?