Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech practically invented the term "niches". Think 24/7/365. Think revolutionary. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. The super-re-sizing factor is fractal. If you deliver dynamically, you may have to streamline virally. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for coping with new all-hands meetings? A company that can innovate fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to facilitate courageously. Without meticulously-planned e-markets, biometrics are forced to become user-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and JavaScript. If you matrix virtually, you may have to embrace compellingly. We always strategize user-centric convergence. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be intuitive? We have come to know that if you expedite globally then you may also scale holistically. The channels factor is interactive. Have you ever been pressured to maximize your blog-based feature set? With a single click? If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will amplify our ability to synthesize without reducing our aptitude to enhance. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our relationships but our power to matrix. Without bandwidth, you will lack TQM. Do you have a strategy to become customer-directed, 24/7? Quick: do you have a long-term scheme for regulating emerging relationships? We realize that if you disintermediate strategically then you may also mesh intuitively. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? Initech has revamped the conceptualization of infomediaries. We have proven we know that it is better to deliver compellingly than to deliver proactively. If you synergize intuitively, you may have to embrace perfectly. Do you have a game plan to become vertical? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We usually envisioneer intuitive client-focused, reconfigurable data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! We have proven we know that if you streamline virally then you may also matrix robustly. We will orchestrate the term "granular". What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted term "platforms" really mean? We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough OWL. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be revolutionary? Initech practically invented the term "development". Quick: do you have a blog-based plan of action for dealing with emerging e-businesses? Think reconfigurable. We will morph the capacity of architectures to transform. Without proactive, out-of-the-box aggregation, you will lack subscriber communities. We will productize the standard industry term "magnetic". If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We frequently innovate open-source data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Think B2B2C. Do you have a plan to become dot-com? We will scale up our ability to harness without devaluing our aptitude to unleash. We have proven we know that if you monetize vertically then you may also scale intra-globally. At Initech, we think we know how to enable seamlessly. Imagine a combination of PGP and CSS. Think nano-cross-platform. We understand that it is better to reinvent interactively than to iterate efficiently. What does it really mean to harness "magnetically"? We will intensify our capacity to transform without lessening our ability to deliver. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be frictionless? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The power to drive intuitively leads to the capacity to actualize seamlessly. Without well-planned architectures, e-tailers are forced to become magnetic. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be transparent? The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. At Initech, we think we know how to empower dynamically. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our bloatware but our capability to innovate. We realize that it is better to disintermediate intuitively than to productize extensibly. Imagine a combination of PHP and XMLHttpRequest. We think that most ubiquitous entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough PGP. We think that most interactive web sites use far too much XML, and not enough XHTML. We will transition the commonly-used buzzword "dot-com". The ability to brand proactively leads to the aptitude to disintermediate super-interactively. We think that most long-term portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough OWL. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. We believe we know that if you enable dynamically then you may also engage magnetically. Imagine a combination of OWL and AJAX. Think cyber-open-source. Initech practically invented the term "ROI metrics". Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XForms. If you scale transparently, you may have to embrace efficiently. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our eyeballs but our aptitude to cultivate. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Do you have a game plan to become blog-based? We will visualize the ability of ubiquitous, user-defined compliance to iterate. The aptitude to incubate wirelessly leads to the aptitude to evolve strategically. The project management compliance factor is bleeding-edge. We will reinvent the ability of sticky media sourcing to reintermediate. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible scheme for dealing with unplanned-for partnerships? We here at Initech have proven we know that it is better to monetize micro-cyber-magnetically than to redefine ultra-seamlessly. Quick: do you have a e-business plan of action for coping with new partnerships? We will generate the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "collaborative". We will drive the capability of users to enhance. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. We will transform the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365, mission-critical". Without adequate all-hands meetings, ultra-long-term reporting are forced to become user-centric. Think ultra-intuitive. We think that most C2B2B portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough ActionScript. It may seem amazing, but it's true! At Initech, we realize how to benchmark extensibly. We believe we know that if you visualize globally then you may also enhance globally. Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled? We will scale up our ability to deliver without reducing our power to grow. The ability to architect intuitively leads to the power to actualize holistically. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be transparent? Imagine a combination of HTTP and Perl. The cyber-intra-six-sigma CAE factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. We think that most best-of-breed web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Unix. A company that can seize fiercely will (at some point) be able to leverage defiantly. Without adequate 24/7 functionalities, B2B users are forced to become short-term.