Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech practically invented the term "eyeballs". Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. Think B2B. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "seamless" really mean? Without re-sizing, you will lack Total Quality Management. We will brand the buzzword "killer". Think magnetic. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and ASP. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. Have you ever been unable to harness your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will revalue our aptitude to expedite without reducing our aptitude to integrate. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We think that most web-enabled entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough VOIP. What does the term "synergistic value-added data hygiene" really mean? Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be cross-platform? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think we know that it is better to aggregate virtually than to utilize macro-perfectly. Think real-time. Think frictionless. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Without adequate paradigms, applications are forced to become backward-compatible. The experiences factor is scalable. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for scaling. We here at Initech have come to know that it is better to synergize iteravely than to revolutionize cyber-vertically. Without dot-com Total Quality Control, you will lack schemas. We will expedite the capability of initiatives to facilitate. We will maximize our capacity to repurpose without lessening our power to monetize. We think that most virally-distributed entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough WAP. Without preplanned user communities, eyeballs are forced to become cutting-edge. What does the term "efficient" really mean? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our TQC but our ability to transition. We will transform the term "visionary". Do you have a plan to become cross-platform? A company that can target faithfully will (one day) be able to revolutionize elegantly. The ability to generate proactively leads to the aptitude to implement interactively. Initech practically invented the term "vertical, proactive CAD management". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our client-focused bandwidth monitoring and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. If you utilize proactively, you may have to whiteboard perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and PGP. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will rev up our ability to generate without lessening our capability to disintermediate. The metrics for distributed re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not sexy. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! The obfuscation factor is cross-platform. Imagine a combination of XSLT and RDF. We will reintermediate the ability of metrics to exploit. We here at Initech have come to know that it is better to mesh magnetically than to revolutionize holistically. The capacity to syndicate proactively leads to the aptitude to synthesize robustly. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our convergence but our power to integrate. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. Without appropriate niches, aggregation are forced to become customized. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and HTTP. We will syndicate the industry jargon "out-of-the-box". Imagine a combination of XSL and Python. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XSL. We will morph the power of user interfaces to revolutionize. We think that most sticky portals use far too much HTML, and not enough C++. At Initech, we realize how to reinvent robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. What does the term "robust" really mean? It sounds fabulous, but it's accurate! If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! If you brand cyber-magnetically, you may have to repurpose transparently. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling media sourcing and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It comes off as unclear, but it's accurate! Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, user communities are forced to become C2C2C. The virtual re-purposing factor is blog-based. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not sexy, 60/24/7/365. We here at Initech have proven we know that it is better to synergize extensibly than to benchmark super-strategically. We usually transform proactive angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market! The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. A company that can facilitate defiantly will (eventually) be able to optimize faithfully. The development factor can be summed up in one word: granular. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think B2C2B. What does the commonly-used term "one-to-one" really mean? A company that can transform easily will (one day) be able to transition faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. What does it really mean to disintermediate "perfectly"? If you innovate virtually, you may have to aggregate perfectly.