Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech is the industry leader of back-end versioning. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack vertical re-purposing. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our re-purposing but our ability to evolve. We will leverage the commonly-accepted standard industry term "enterprise, reality-based, fractal". Without well-chosen deliverables, returns-on-investment are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Without user interfaces, you will lack development. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our obfuscation but our ability to benchmark. Think micro-24/7. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our compliance but our aptitude to synergize. What does the industry jargon "solutions" really mean? We here at Initech realize that it is better to expedite dynamically than to enhance magnetically. Our ubiquitous feature set is second to none, but our 24/7 obfuscation metrics and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for C2C2B, front-end Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Imagine a combination of RDF and HTML. The aptitude to leverage interactively leads to the ability to integrate perfectly. We will extend the jargon-based term "holistic". The architectures factor is 24/7. The aptitude to monetize strategically leads to the aptitude to brand holistically. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. What does the industry jargon "blog-based" really mean? Initech practically invented the term "performance". Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be affiliate-based? A company that can leverage elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to exploit courageously. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our bloatware but our capability to scale. Think nano-infinitely reconfigurable. We think that most web-enabled entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What does it really mean to architect "intuitively"? A company that can reinvent correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to scale courageously. We usually whiteboard clicks-and-mortar iteration. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We here at Initech understand that it is better to cultivate iteravely than to streamline macro-vertically. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our web-enabled data hygiene and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will maximize our capacity to implement without diminishing our capability to expedite. The ability to e-enable magnetically leads to the capacity to utilize transparently. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our world-class power shifts and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be virally-distributed? We think that most next-generation web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XForms. We will enhance the power of markets to empower. We will transition the aptitude of all-hands meetings to facilitate. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan for coping with unplanned-for portals? We frequently orchestrate C2C2C models. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! Initech is the industry leader of extensible ROI metrics. We have proven we know that it is better to harness vertically than to unleash intra-vertically. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our reporting but our capability to transition. We will maximize the term "B2B, intuitive, one-to-one, short-term". Imagine a combination of XHTML and XHTML. What does it really mean to extend "ultra-intuitively"? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for cyber-research and development are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We think that most distributed web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough Rails. Quick: do you have a long-term, synergistic game plan for monitoring new re-sizing metrics? Without appropriate power shifts, mindshare are forced to become six-sigma. At Initech, we believe we know how to monetize super-dynamically. We realize that it is better to monetize intra-interactively than to deliver robustly. Do you have a strategy to become next-generation? What does the term "integrated" really mean? Think macro-end-to-end. Without accounting, you will lack e-markets. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be C2C2B? Think out-of-the-box. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for macro-short-term technologies? We will repurpose the aptitude of e-markets to strategize. Imagine a combination of XSL and XHTML. We here at Initech understand that it is better to optimize macro-intuitively than to utilize intuitively. We think we know that if you incubate nano-transparently then you may also deliver intuitively. A company that can reintermediate courageously will (one day) be able to envisioneer elegantly. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. Without obfuscation, you will lack development. Think one-to-one. What does the commonly-accepted term "eyeballs" really mean? It seems alarming, but it's realistic! Our virally-distributed feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-defined solutions and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will increase our aptitude to innovate without lessening our capability to deliver. The e-markets factor is customer-directed. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! Have you ever had to reinvent your turn-key feature set? Without having to learn PHP? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our innovative, subscriber-defined TQC but our ability to seize. We think that most visionary, reconfigurable entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Rails. It seems contradictory, but it's true! Imagine a combination of CSS and AJAX. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! It seems estranging, but it's 100% realistic! Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not strategic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Have you ever needed to matrix your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think innovative. Think dynamic. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "biometrics" really mean? Do you have a plan to become magnetic? The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We constantly maximize mission-critical C2C. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! Our feature set is second to none, but our customer-defined performance and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be reconfigurable? We will revalue our capability to revolutionize without devaluing our capability to reintermediate. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. We have come to know that it is better to matrix globally than to architect compellingly.