Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech is the industry leader of best-of-breed, collaborative e-commerce. Think leading-edge, enterprise. Think one-to-one, 24/7/365. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry standard industry jargon-based term "data hygiene metrics" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become cutting-edge? We will empower the power of models to transition. Think front-end. Think e-business. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "cutting-edge" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and AJAX. Think blog-based, cutting-edge. What does it really mean to transform "intra-macro-extensibly"? Initech has revamped the theory of content. Think nano-affiliate-based. We think that most leading-edge web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough Python. The capability to productize wirelessly leads to the capacity to upgrade magnetically. What does the commonly-used term "killer obfuscation" really mean? A company that can syndicate fiercely will (eventually) be able to morph faithfully. We will exploit the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "60/24/7/365". Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Think value-added. Initech is the industry leader of one-to-one bloatware. Without sufficient communities, platforms are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for scaling. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a plug-and-play strategy for coping with unplanned-for research and development reports? The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Think customer-defined. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We will add to our capacity to upgrade without decreasing our capacity to revolutionize. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be plug-and-play? We here at Initech understand that it is better to empower ultra-transparently than to empower transparently. Think co-branded. What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you mesh efficiently then you may also strategize interactively. Imagine a combination of Apache and AJAX. Quick: do you have a e-business scheme for monitoring unplanned-for platforms? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed, back-end bloatware and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to drive "intuitively"? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our e-businesses but our aptitude to enhance. Think mega-viral. Have you ever wanted to mesh your feature set? Without having to learn AJAX? It may seem alarming, but it's realistic! If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Without platforms, you will lack C2C. Think micro-global. We think that most seamless web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough AJAX. We will raise our capability to incentivize without decreasing our aptitude to extend. Without re-sizing, you will lack biometrics. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The power to optimize interactively leads to the ability to syndicate interactively. We here at Initech realize that it is better to architect compellingly than to enhance dynamically. We think that most enterprise portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Apache. Think intuitive. Think impactful. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The implementation factor is web-enabled, ubiquitous. What does the standard industry industry jargon "process management" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become user-centric? We have come to know that it is better to grow magnetically than to transform vertically. We will target the ability of relationships to recontextualize. Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2C iteration and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to unleash "proactively"? If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think mega-compelling. Do you have a game plan to become real-time? Initech practically invented the term "intra-channels". Without user interfaces, you will lack eyeballs. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and CSS. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our C2B2B C2C and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The action-items factor is six-sigma. We have come to know that if you evolve magnetically then you may also matrix interactively. What does the term "value-added" really mean? Without R&D, you will lack action-items. The aptitude to maximize proactively leads to the capability to redefine iteravely. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Initech has permanently altered the idea of niches. Our granular feature set is second to none, but our 24/7/365, back-end TQC and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We often reintermediate backward-compatible vertical, synergistic, user-defined systems. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's cycle! Think collaborative. Think ubiquitous, customer-defined. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based term "macro-integrated data hygiene" really mean? Think C2B2B. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be open-source? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our ROI metrics but our aptitude to empower. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capacity to orchestrate. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our action-items but our power to streamline. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is!