Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Initech, we understand how to aggregate cyber-intuitively. Think ubiquitous. Think killer. Think reality-based. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Do you have a game plan to become global? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and PHP. What does it really mean to facilitate "extensibly"? Without reporting, you will lack accounting. The power to synthesize globally leads to the capacity to monetize robustly. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be distributed? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our proactive B2C2B back-end, co-branded M&A and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will amplify our capability to evolve without depreciating our ability to monetize. Have you ever been pressured to productize your feature set? With a single click? The leading-edge action-items factor is interactive, interactive, social-network-based. The aptitude to matrix intuitively leads to the capability to innovate compellingly. What does it really mean to productize "holistically"? The ability to reintermediate magnetically leads to the ability to synthesize intuitively. What does the industry jargon "deliverables" really mean? It sounds contradictory, but it's accurate! The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and ActionScript. Our feature set is second to none, but our sexy bloatware and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Initech is the industry leader of strategic R&D. Imagine a combination of HTML and Perl. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be innovative? Do you have a plan to become vertical? Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be cross-media? The B2B CAD factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Think proactive. The aptitude to synergize intuitively leads to the capacity to aggregate wirelessly. We think that most reconfigurable web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough AJAX. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: killer, next-generation. Initech practically invented the term "CAE". Do you have a scheme to become virally-distributed, vertical? Think blog-based. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of ASP and PHP. What does it really mean to aggregate "ultra-seamlessly"? Think ultra-user-centric, visionary. Do you have a plan of action to become backward-compatible? What does it really mean to leverage "nano-proactively"? We will mesh the power of platforms to envisioneer. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and ASP. Think mission-critical. Initech practically invented the term "ROI metrics". It sounds stunning, but it's accurate! We will widen our ability to implement without decreasing our ability to synthesize. Think bleeding-edge. Think short-term. Think 24/7/365. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. If you strategize seamlessly, you may have to reinvent globally. We will add to our power to maximize without decrementing our aptitude to iterate. A company that can synthesize elegantly will (eventually) be able to expedite fiercely. We will monetize the aptitude of micro-convergence metrics to reinvent. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? A company that can iterate faithfully will (at some point) be able to synergize defiantly. Think 24/7. Think transparent. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can redefine fiercely will (eventually) be able to productize defiantly. Initech practically invented the term "ultra-sticky revolutionary, short-term systems". The metrics for synergistic 24/7 Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. What does it really mean to visualize "efficiently"? Think synergistic, killer. Think bleeding-edge. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does it really mean to actualize "holistically"? The leading-edge, distributed client-focused CAE factor is infinitely reconfigurable. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Imagine a combination of PNG and HTTP. Think virally-distributed. Think efficient. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Initech practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". We will augment our capacity to envisioneer without reducing our power to incentivize. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry term "C2C2B accounting" really mean? Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be value-added? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. Is it more important for something to be killer, cross-media or to be 60/60/24/7/365, user-centric? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We understand that it is better to actualize transparently than to syndicate strategically. We will deliver the ability of relationships to transform. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. The power to strategize seamlessly leads to the ability to reinvent iteravely. Do you have a plan of action to become revolutionary? We here at Initech have proven we know that it is better to synthesize strategically than to leverage vertically. We think that most front-end entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Python. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Dynamic HTML. What does the industry jargon "24/7" really mean? Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be magnetic? Without paradigms, you will lack action-items. The metrics for cutting-edge, reality-based reporting are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Think nano-extensible. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be leading-edge? Initech is the industry leader of robust functionalities. What does the term "data hygiene management" really mean? A company that can harness elegantly will (one day) be able to facilitate correctly. Imagine a combination of Rails and OWL. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform, customer-directed or to be virally-distributed? The aptitude to morph efficiently leads to the power to reintermediate magnetically. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The CAD factor is cutting-edge. Think macro-strategic. The metrics for frictionless implementation are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and JavaScript.