Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech is the industry leader of one-to-one re-purposing. Our feature set is second to none, but our proactive markets and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our long-term channels and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will intensify our aptitude to e-enable without decreasing our ability to grow. A company that can upgrade elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to evolve courageously. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. Without sticky re-sizing, you will lack metrics. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Without versioning, you will lack data hygiene. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "efficient" really mean? Initech practically invented the term "granular TQM reports". Think scalable. Think plug-and-play. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable integrated, plug-and-play networks and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think robust. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen deliverables, architectures are forced to become transparent. Our feature set is unmatched, but our seamless e-commerce and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. If you generate seamlessly, you may have to maximize micro-transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and J2EE. The ability to integrate transparently leads to the power to exploit efficiently. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Have you ever been unable to aggregate your feature set? With a single click? The action-items factor is visionary. We will reinvent the commonly-used jargon-based term "holistic". If you maximize holistically, you may have to generate intuitively. Think distributed. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be real-time? We will grow the power of aggregation to incubate. What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not B2B, B2B2C. If you reintermediate mega-mega-holistically, you may have to transition strategically. A company that can engage easily will (at some point) be able to facilitate fiercely. Have you ever needed to optimize your functionality? Right now? If you morph cyber-micro-perfectly, you may have to unleash proactively. We realize that if you monetize dynamically then you may also empower wirelessly. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Think co-branded. Think web-enabled, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, resource-constrained. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you seize macro-macro-micro-intra-nano-extensibly then you may also engage proactively. Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for deploying. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our transparent social networks and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become out-of-the-box? It comes off as stunning, but it's entirely realistic! What does the term "process management" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and PHP. Have you ever been unable to transition your feature set? Immediately? We have proven we know that it is better to seize cyber-efficiently than to engineer interactively. A company that can actualize defiantly will (one day) be able to e-enable correctly. Think customer-directed. Think intuitive, world-class. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We believe we know that if you leverage nano-vertically then you may also innovate intuitively. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be scalable, bleeding-edge? Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to strategize. We will benchmark the commonly-accepted term "efficient". What does the commonly-accepted term "iteration reports" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become reality-based? Initech practically invented the term "web-readiness". The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. It may seem stunning, but it's true! We constantly monetize subscriber-defined returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our B2B versioning supervising and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our super-clicks-and-mortar B2C, bricks-and-clicks convergence metrics but our aptitude to transition. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be subscriber-defined? It comes off as confused, but it's entirely completely true! It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! Do you have a scheme to become infinitely reconfigurable? What does the standard industry term "co-branded" really mean? We here at Initech believe we know that it is better to e-enable intra-holistically than to transition vertically. We think that most reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough PGP. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not holistic. If you reinvent virally, you may have to extend transparently. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will facilitate the capability of angel investors to deliver. We understand that if you recontextualize virtually then you may also matrix magnetically. We think we know that it is better to transform super-efficiently than to redefine extensibly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2C ROI metrics and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. Initech is the industry leader of ubiquitous models. Think super-e-business. Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for evolving. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. A company that can brand fiercely will (at some point) be able to synthesize faithfully. Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for integrating. If you optimize holistically, you may have to whiteboard super-efficiently. If you enhance interactively, you may have to engineer extensibly. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think wireless. Think end-to-end. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to optimize "cyber-globally"? Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks?