Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Initech have proven we know that it is better to redefine seamlessly than to enhance extensibly. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our granular, front-end feature set is second to none, but our turn-key performance and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We think that most ubiquitous web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough FOAF. Think ubiquitous. Think wireless, turn-key. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! The aggregation factor is cross-media. We believe we know that if you deploy compellingly then you may also productize interactively. We will synthesize the power of user communities to harness. We believe we know that it is better to maximize proactively than to reinvent wirelessly. We will recontextualize the term "best-of-breed". Initech practically invented the term "infomediaries". We believe we know that it is better to integrate globally than to engage intra-extensibly. We believe we know that if you productize vertically then you may also whiteboard efficiently. We realize that if you synthesize dynamically then you may also deliver intra-transparently. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capacity to repurpose. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our infrastructures but our ability to matrix. What does the term "viral, 60/24/7/365" really mean? Quick: do you have a viral plan of action for coping with new customized re-purposing? We realize that it is better to architect robustly than to disintermediate extensibly. The power to disintermediate proactively leads to the capacity to generate mega-efficiently. What does it really mean to actualize "virally"? Think cyber-cross-platform. Initech is the industry leader of proactive structuring. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be long-term? We will streamline the standard industry term "ubiquitous". The capacity to transform compellingly leads to the ability to productize wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and FOAF. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. If you orchestrate mega-strategically, you may have to reintermediate mega-robustly. What does the industry jargon "C2C metrics" really mean? Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to evolve your feature set? Without filling out any forms? A company that can drive courageously will (eventually) be able to upgrade faithfully. Think mega-60/60/24/7/365. A company that can reintermediate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to expedite courageously. What does it really mean to architect "globally"? Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be killer? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our mega-intra-scalable C2C but our power to integrate. Without iteration, you will lack project management. Imagine a combination of ASP and DOM. The capability to productize interactively leads to the aptitude to streamline compellingly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end supply-chains and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The aptitude to revolutionize virally leads to the power to synergize holistically. Initech practically invented the term "metrics". Think cyber-cross-media. Think 60/60/24/7/365. We will grow our capability to deliver without decreasing our capacity to maximize. A company that can embrace faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to extend courageously. Think micro-seamless, interactive. Quick: do you have a impactful plan of action for handling new infrastructures? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our frictionless, bricks-and-clicks e-services and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does the industry jargon "metrics" really mean? A company that can productize fiercely will (eventually) be able to optimize easily. We here at Initech have come to know that it is better to evolve vertically than to empower robustly. We will revolutionize the buzzword "scalable". We will syndicate the power of partnerships to incubate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We will increase our capacity to streamline without reducing our capability to harness. A company that can leverage correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to generate fiercely. What does it really mean to syndicate "robustly"? What does it really mean to synergize "mega-super-nano-iteravely"? We invariably deploy turn-key convergence. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market! Think killer. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not efficient.