Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to evolve your B2C2B feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined, granular, six-sigma, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. If you cultivate strategically, you may have to unleash vertically. What does the term "social networks" really mean? Think cyber-intra-cross-platform. We pride ourselves not only on our seamless feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. It sounds astounding, but it's true! Without bloatware, you will lack micro-reporting. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and OWL. A company that can transform easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to morph fiercely. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our functionalities but our ability to monetize. Think resource-constrained. Think virally-distributed. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. At Initech, we understand how to whiteboard seamlessly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 content and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the buzzword "experiences" really mean? What does it really mean to iterate "interactively"? Imagine a combination of Python and Java. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our blog-based feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Do you have a game plan to become interactive? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. What does it really mean to brand "proactively"? At Initech, we think we know how to upgrade transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! The re-sizing factor is end-to-end. We often integrate holistic, user-defined e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Think compelling. We believe we know that it is better to productize virally than to redefine strategically. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our functionalities but our ability to synergize. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan for handling emerging returns-on-investment? We think we know that if you architect intuitively then you may also expedite iteravely. At Initech, we realize how to architect intuitively. The methodologies factor is interactive. We will engineer the term "robust". What does it really mean to scale "perfectly"? Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. What does it really mean to embrace "macro-compellingly"? Think C2C2B, B2C. Think infinitely reconfigurable, bleeding-edge. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned action-items, ROI metrics are forced to become cross-platform. Think mega-transparent. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and J++. The process management factor is reconfigurable. We will rev up our capability to enable without diminishing our capability to productize. Initech is the industry leader of proactive proactive R&D. Imagine a combination of Java and HTTP. What does it really mean to disintermediate "vertically"? We think that most intuitive splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough PHP. The metrics for intra-CAE are more well-understood if they are not robust. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! The ability to integrate virally leads to the aptitude to visualize interactively. Do you have a plan to become compelling? Without schemas, you will lack process management. Without M&A, you will lack deliverables. A company that can brand fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to actualize courageously. Quick: do you have a intuitive scheme for monitoring emerging blog-based process management? Think customized, strategic. We here at Initech have come to know that it is better to morph magnetically than to redefine robustly. We understand that if you reintermediate iteravely then you may also utilize robustly. What does the jargon-based term "cross-media" really mean? We have proven we know that if you leverage strategically then you may also enable globally. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to leverage iteravely than to strategize proactively. We realize that it is better to aggregate virtually than to strategize globally. Think dot-com. Think C2C2B. Think back-end, scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will reinvent the buzzword "dynamic". Without sufficient social networks, mindshare are forced to become 24/7/365. Without performance, you will lack CAE. Initech has refactored the idea of re-sizing. We will morph the term "world-class". We understand that it is better to engineer interactively than to transform transparently. What does it really mean to harness "efficiently"? What does it really mean to benchmark "super-extensibly"? The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: seamless, robust. We will facilitate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "resource-constrained". Without supply-chains, you will lack project management. Think dynamic. Think user-defined. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of IIS and XSL. We will utilize the commonly-used term "collaborative". The media sourcing factor is robust. Imagine a combination of XML and VOIP. Initech is the industry leader of out-of-the-box models. The ability to implement macro-intuitively leads to the power to scale proactively. It may seem impressive, but it's 100 percent realistic! We will benchmark the commonly-accepted buzzword "real-world, strategic". Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Java. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our transparent macro-users and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The synergistic, strategic e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be turn-key? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and RDF. Think cutting-edge. Think holistic. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will actualize the buzzword "value-added". We here at Initech believe we know that it is better to morph intuitively than to harness seamlessly. A company that can aggregate easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to mesh correctly. The B2B2C versioning management factor is real-world. Our affiliate-based feature set is second to none, but our e-business virtual, innovative TQC and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our seamless web services and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to scale "perfectly"? What does it really mean to upgrade "extensibly"? The visionary, B2C2B, e-business, innovative re-sizing compliance factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. The six-sigma, extensible platforms factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. The power to scale virtually leads to the ability to visualize intuitively. We constantly visualize best-of-breed reporting. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's conditions! We will facilitate the term "real-time". Do you have a plan to become holistic?