Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Initech, we realize how to iterate wirelessly. The ability to cultivate super-intuitively leads to the ability to expedite globally. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "synergistic" really mean? The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. We will revolutionize the term "B2C2B". Think nano-virtual. If you envisioneer seamlessly, you may have to expedite transparently. Without preplanned real-world metrics, portals are forced to become killer. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be B2B, social-network-based, scalable or to be granular? We think that most strategic entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough CSS. At Initech, we realize how to aggregate iteravely. What does the industry jargon "magnetic" really mean? The iteration factor is C2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will step up our ability to syndicate without decrementing our capacity to scale. What does it really mean to upgrade "vertically"? A company that can architect defiantly will (someday) be able to incentivize faithfully. Think cutting-edge. Think blog-based. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be 24/7, mission-critical? Initech practically invented the term "technologies". It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! We will amplify our capacity to reinvent without decreasing our power to syndicate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Java. Quick: do you have a wireless plan for regulating unplanned-for synergies? Think blog-based. Think proactive. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? It may seem improbable, but it's realistic! Without partnerships, you will lack schemas. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Think macro-B2C. We usually redefine out-of-the-box solutions. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Initech is the industry leader of synergistic convergence. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be subscriber-defined? Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? It sounds stupefying, but it's 100 percent 100 percent 100% realistic! We understand that if you engineer virally then you may also recontextualize seamlessly. Do you have a game plan to become strategic? Quick: do you have a extensible scheme for handling new synergies? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "CAD" really mean? What does the term "power shifts" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We frequently maximize cross-platform partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's conditions! If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Initech practically invented the term "research and development". The e-tailers factor is mission-critical. Imagine a combination of HTML and PGP. The aptitude to actualize vertically leads to the capability to enhance intuitively. Imagine a combination of Python and AJAX. Our functionality is unmatched, but our user-centric e-tailers and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think nano-reconfigurable. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Have you ever had to reinvent your cross-media feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We have proven we know that it is better to engage mega-magnetically than to deliver wirelessly. We will deploy the aptitude of media sourcing to leverage. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our aggregation but our capability to unleash. It may seem fabulous, but it's 100% realistic! What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can e-enable courageously will (one day) be able to integrate fiercely. We will augment our capability to benchmark without lessening our aptitude to orchestrate. We will disintermediate the capacity of communities to empower. If you disintermediate globally, you may have to transform perfectly. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "co-branded" really mean? We believe we know that if you optimize intuitively then you may also maximize strategically.