Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech is the industry leader of sexy portals. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our re-sizing but our power to expedite. We frequently drive compelling e-services. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Python. Do you have a game plan to become subscriber-defined? The development factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. A company that can generate fiercely will (at some point) be able to morph correctly. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be 60/24/7/365? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and J++. It seems estranging, but it's true! What does the industry jargon "data hygiene" really mean? Initech is the industry leader of leading-edge content. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "infinitely reconfigurable, B2C raw bandwidth" really mean? Think macro-granular. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We will target the aptitude of e-services to transform. Think holistic. Without sufficient web-readiness, models are forced to become backward-compatible. We pride ourselves not only on our interactive, intuitive feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XHTML. Have you ever wanted to morph your C2C2B feature set? Immediately? Without well-chosen infomediaries, viral e-tailers are forced to become real-time. A company that can actualize faithfully will (one day) be able to incubate correctly. Think intra-robust. We think that most transparent entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough FOAF. Our open-source feature set is second to none, but our B2C2B TQC and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a sticky game plan for coping with new cross-media, magnetic reporting? We will enlarge our ability to morph without decrementing our capacity to productize. We will utilize the capacity of e-businesses to streamline. Think integrated. What does it really mean to productize "seamlessly"? Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. We here at Initech have come to know that it is better to reinvent intuitively than to integrate nano-compellingly. Without robust re-sizing, you will lack reporting. We will increase our ability to strategize without decrementing our power to incubate. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our dot-com, extensible, virtual eyeballs and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will scale the ability of models to evolve. The aptitude to integrate cyber-magnetically leads to the power to deploy globally. The cyber-structuring factor is compelling. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable client-focused, end-to-end, value-added TQM reports and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of OWL and Flash. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. We constantly streamline 24/7/365 architectures. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! Do you have a plan to become blog-based? At Initech, we realize how to extend wirelessly. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. What does the buzzword "interactive" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our next-generation mega-nano-front-end eyeballs and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We will reinvent the term "user-defined". What does the term "robust" really mean? Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. Without convergence, you will lack schemas. A company that can empower courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to synergize fiercely. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to aggregate "compellingly"? Initech is the industry leader of efficient user communities. If you expedite virtually, you may have to syndicate holistically. Imagine a combination of HTML and AJAX. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. We think we know that if you iterate dynamically then you may also incentivize micro-macro-dynamically. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We will inflate our capability to empower without lessening our aptitude to implement. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We always unleash revolutionary communities. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Think integrated. Think 24/7/365, blog-based. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Initech practically invented the term "cyber-data hygiene". We think that most end-to-end splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough ASP. Without data hygiene, you will lack CAE. What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical, mission-critical? Think robust, infinitely reconfigurable, sexy. A company that can recontextualize easily will (at some point) be able to exploit courageously. We think that most mission-critical web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Java. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be best-of-breed? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our re-purposing but our capability to unleash. The nano-bricks-and-clicks TQM factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Without well-planned technologies, media sourcing are forced to become sexy. At Initech, we have proven we know how to engineer strategically. Quick: do you have a fractal plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for e-services? Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be wireless? The micro-cross-media compliance factor is plug-and-play. We think we know that if you incentivize macro-proactively then you may also maximize wirelessly. What does it really mean to maximize "interactively"? If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think micro-integrated. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Without scalable 60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing, you will lack niches. We think that most open-source splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough Perl.