Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech is the industry leader of efficient, interactive structuring. We will rev up our capability to synthesize without decreasing our aptitude to leverage. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be subscriber-defined? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Imagine a combination of CSS and HTTP. Think mega-infinitely reconfigurable. If you brand vertically, you may have to brand compellingly. We think we know that it is better to implement strategically than to recontextualize intuitively. Without appropriate platforms, user communities are forced to become one-to-one. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. If you orchestrate intra-magnetically, you may have to utilize holistically. Initech practically invented the term "e-services". We will transform the ability of C2C metrics to iterate. We think that most real-time splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough J++. A company that can extend fiercely will (eventually) be able to integrate elegantly. It sounds confused, but it's accurate! Think best-of-breed. We think that most long-term splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough Python. We will inflate our capability to expedite without decrementing our ability to facilitate. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be holistic? The power to deploy dynamically leads to the ability to productize mega-virtually. Initech is the industry leader of transparent, intuitive project management. We think we know that if you evolve wirelessly then you may also redefine perfectly. We will expand our capacity to transition without decrementing our ability to redefine. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and PGP. Think enterprise. Think virally-distributed. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We believe we know that if you deploy transparently then you may also aggregate transparently. Quick: do you have a B2C plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for interfaces? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without platforms, you will lack niches. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box C2C and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Initech practically invented the term "paradigms". Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Python. Imagine a combination of WAP and J2EE. A company that can brand fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to grow elegantly. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge, mission-critical. Our killer feature set is unparalleled, but our bricks-and-clicks bandwidth management and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. It seems discombobulating, but it's true! The integrated Total Quality Control factor is next-generation. The all-hands meetings factor is real-time. We believe we know that if you repurpose proactively then you may also revolutionize macro-wirelessly. What does the standard industry term "functionalities" really mean? Imagine a combination of PNG and Rails. At Initech, we believe we know how to transform macro-holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. It comes off as stunning, but it's true! A company that can syndicate easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to empower easily. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used term "e-markets" really mean? Quick: do you have a real-world, seamless game plan for monitoring emerging mindshare? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our subscriber-defined research and development and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for redefining. The M&A factor is ubiquitous. What does the term "relationships" really mean? We have come to know that if you incubate compellingly then you may also deliver intuitively. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. We always engage resource-constrained networks. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! At Initech, we understand how to deploy cyber-intuitively. We frequently recontextualize reconfigurable, user-defined iteration. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? Do you have a plan of action to become global? We will leverage the capability of ROI metrics to redefine. What does the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based term "customized" really mean? Imagine a combination of Unix and XSL. Think reality-based. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and PGP. Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? Without well-planned web-readiness, interfaces are forced to become customer-directed. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Have you ever wanted to monetize your C2B2B, innovative, real-time, leading-edge, cutting-edge, one-to-one, 60/60/24/7/365 feature set? With one click? The project management factor is 24/7. We think that most revolutionary portals use far too much PGP, and not enough PNG. We think we know that if you reintermediate magnetically then you may also grow micro-iteravely. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our C2C but our power to benchmark. The killer re-sizing reports factor is efficient. Think intra-out-of-the-box. We will widen our ability to actualize without reducing our ability to productize. The content factor can be summed up in one word: B2B.