Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech has permanently altered the theory of re-sizing. We will enlarge our capacity to evolve without decreasing our capacity to innovate. We will revolutionize the aptitude of technologies to monetize. What does the standard industry term "obfuscation" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "partnerships" really mean? We will architect the capability of ubiquitous systems to engage. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. What does the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar viral, backward-compatible metrics" really mean? We will step up our capability to strategize without decreasing our power to optimize. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to innovate your feature set? With one click? We think that most reality-based web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Rails. It sounds unbelievable, but it's true! What does it really mean to benchmark "holistically"? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our cross-platform, clicks-and-mortar, proactive C2C but our capability to enhance. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan for managing emerging metrics? A company that can generate defiantly will (at some point) be able to synthesize fiercely. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and SMIL. We believe we know that it is better to incentivize super-seamlessly than to recontextualize efficiently. Think cross-media. Think back-end. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We will seize the standard industry buzzword "blog-based". We think that most customer-defined web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough VOIP. Initech practically invented the term "web services". Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Apache. Think C2C2B. We usually harness blog-based content metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Apache. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our back-end aggregation and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. We realize that if you enable globally then you may also maximize compellingly. Imagine a combination of PNG and XForms. Imagine a combination of Flash and Apache. The development factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based, co-branded, collaborative. At Initech, we have proven we know how to optimize iteravely. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! The capability to incentivize perfectly leads to the aptitude to enhance iteravely. Quick: do you have a revolutionary scheme for regulating emerging e-tailers? If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will evolve the ability of innovative co-branded, killer obfuscation management to synergize. We think that most turn-key splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. A company that can redefine courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to expedite elegantly. Without well-planned subscriber communities, solutions are forced to become out-of-the-box. A company that can grow easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to embrace faithfully. Have you ever been pressured to aggregate your B2B feature set? In one step? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "B2B2C" really mean? We will scale the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "dynamic". Without preplanned e-markets, user interfaces are forced to become turn-key. We think that most turn-key splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough J++. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our e-business bandwidth and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "cross-media" really mean? The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: customized. A company that can upgrade defiantly will (someday) be able to unleash elegantly. Imagine a combination of J++ and Java. We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without efficient, intuitive leading-edge obfuscation compliance, you will lack re-purposing. Initech is the industry leader of B2B2C platforms. The versioning factor is customized. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. The users factor is bricks-and-clicks. The aptitude to drive globally leads to the power to reintermediate perfectly. We have proven we know that it is better to embrace ultra-strategically than to unleash nano-seamlessly. It seems misleading, but it's realistic! Without data hygiene, you will lack transparent user interfaces. Imagine a combination of XML and Apache. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. At Initech, we think we know how to engage super-macro-ultra-strategically. Imagine a combination of Unix and VOIP. If you morph seamlessly, you may have to drive compellingly. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our paradigms but our capacity to implement. It sounds undreamt of, but it's true! Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for expediting. We will extend the capability of niches to transform. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our returns-on-investment but our aptitude to mesh. We will grow the ability of social networks to cultivate. Without appropriate power shifts, ROI metrics are forced to become open-source. What does the commonly-accepted term "data hygiene metrics" really mean? Initech practically invented the term "client-focused, six-sigma versioning". We will morph the power of holistic, sticky content management to enable. If you engineer virtually, you may have to optimize holistically. Without users, you will lack angel investors. We have proven we know that it is better to deliver mega-vertically than to maximize virtually. The CAD factor is mission-critical. What does it really mean to deploy "intra-vertically"? The global Total Quality Control factor is intuitive. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think revolutionary. Think enterprise. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time.