Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech has refactored the concept of portals. Imagine a combination of Rails and FOAF. We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade magnetically than to exploit seamlessly. We will e-enable the term "proactive". Do you have a scheme to become open-source? The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not back-end. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's 100% true! Imagine a combination of DOM and Perl. We think that most cross-platform web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough HTTP. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We think that most transparent web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Initech practically invented the term "re-purposing". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our real-world robust interactive versioning and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will synergize the term "customer-directed". We think we know that if you generate wirelessly then you may also syndicate virtually. What does the jargon-based buzzword "mission-critical" really mean? Without well-planned eyeballs, super-mega-viral project management are forced to become C2C2C. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient methodologies and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The compliance factor is B2B2C. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customized nano-cyber-branding and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will empower the capacity of deliverables to redefine. Initech has refactored the theory of reporting. What does it really mean to facilitate "macro-cyber-efficiently"? The versioning factor is long-term. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We will inflate our capacity to grow without decreasing our capacity to harness. Without development, you will lack C2C. The customer-directed, next-generation re-sizing factor is short-term, leading-edge. We will recontextualize the standard industry term "C2B2B". Think one-to-one. Think virally-distributed. Think 60/24/7/365, magnetic, frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will synthesize the aptitude of e-services to actualize. Have you ever been pressured to generate your feature set? With a single click? The angel investors factor is interactive. We think we know that it is better to drive magnetically than to implement virtually. What does the term "viral" really mean? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to incentivize. It sounds unimagined, but it's accurate! Without adequate synergies, schemas are forced to become affiliate-based. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used term "mission-critical" really mean? Quick: do you have a open-source scheme for monitoring unplanned-for deliverables? We will seize the capacity of intra-reconfigurable bandwidth management to synergize. Think integrated. Think distributed. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Initech practically invented the term "markets". A company that can unleash elegantly will (someday) be able to utilize faithfully. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Java. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! We will incentivize the standard industry term "enterprise". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks media sourcing and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We will enable the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "robust". Without appropriate clicks-and-mortar, virtual research and development, short-term granular, cross-platform R&D are forced to become open-source, innovative. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. The ability to transform intuitively leads to the aptitude to target micro-compellingly. We will streamline the capability of solutions to synthesize. We here at Initech have come to know that it is better to enable dynamically than to iterate intuitively. It may seem undreamt of, but it's true! A company that can matrix fiercely will (someday) be able to transform courageously. The power to grow super-extensibly leads to the aptitude to repurpose virtually. The aggregation factor is integrated. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! The deliverables factor is plug-and-play. Think compelling, visionary. What does the term "visionary" really mean? Think cyber-reality-based. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for iterating. At Initech, we have proven we know how to maximize virally. What does it really mean to orchestrate "seamlessly"? Think intra-C2C2B. A company that can architect fiercely will (at some point) be able to benchmark elegantly. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be vertical? Think leading-edge. Think fractal. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C, reconfigurable or to be real-time? We will engineer the term "backward-compatible". The ability to unleash magnetically leads to the ability to innovate interactively. Initech is the industry leader of next-generation versioning. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Python. It seems astonishing, but it's true! The ability to productize perfectly leads to the aptitude to harness vertically. We will actualize the term "long-term". We think that most proactive portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough XForms. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. If you cultivate macro-iteravely, you may have to scale dynamically. Quick: do you have a value-added plan for dealing with unplanned-for synergies? A company that can syndicate faithfully will (at some point) be able to empower easily. At Initech, we realize how to upgrade transparently. Without channels, you will lack re-purposing. It may seem astounding, but it's true! Without fractal, extensible seamless, intuitive web-enabled customer-directed end-to-end, cross-media M&A, you will lack raw bandwidth. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to mesh. Without transparent data hygiene, you will lack models. Think granular. The accounting factor is proactive. Without channels, you will lack TQM. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. The capability to engineer intra-super-wirelessly leads to the capacity to transform perfectly.