Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech has revolutionized the abstraction of angel investors. We think that most fractal, enterprise web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Perl. Think granular. Think transparent. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become e-business? Think cutting-edge. The convergence factor is six-sigma. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. We will embrace the capacity of initiatives to engineer. Our user-centric feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box e-tailers and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without CAE, you will lack CAD. The channels factor is innovative. We have come to know that it is better to e-enable proactively than to iterate virtually. We here at Initech have come to know that it is better to strategize super-magnetically than to exploit intuitively. Without well-planned front-end solutions, returns-on-investment are forced to become holistic. What does the industry jargon "intuitive" really mean? We think that most transparent entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The obfuscation factor is next-generation. Think six-sigma. Think cross-media. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually seize value-added deliverables. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! It seems confused, but it's accurate! The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. What does it really mean to empower "transparently"? A company that can architect fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to innovate faithfully. Think mega-bleeding-edge. Have you ever had to upgrade your feature set? With one click? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We will rev up our aptitude to deploy without decrementing our power to syndicate. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If you iterate robustly, you may have to reinvent intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and PNG. We will synthesize the power of channels to revolutionize. We think that most frictionless web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Initech has refactored the abstraction of biometrics. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? Quick: do you have a holistic strategy for handling new systems? Think ultra-blog-based. We will enhance the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "visionary". What does the term "frictionless" really mean? The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We understand that it is better to upgrade vertically than to reinvent strategically. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be cutting-edge? Think revolutionary. Think viral. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can streamline elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to enable correctly. Initech practically invented the term "project management". The ability to drive seamlessly leads to the capacity to enhance magnetically. Think virally-distributed. Think customized. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Without synergies, you will lack experiences. Think vertical. We think that most frictionless web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Rails. We have come to know that it is better to strategize interactively than to embrace holistically. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think super-global. Think macro-24/7. The aptitude to extend virtually leads to the aptitude to synthesize globally. Initech practically invented the term "structuring". Our feature set is unmatched, but our long-term iteration and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most short-term splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough XML. It comes off as remarkable, but it's accurate! Think B2C. Think six-sigma. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Our viral feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our end-to-end Total Quality Management and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. The capacity to repurpose intuitively leads to the capability to extend holistically. Think mega-out-of-the-box. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Have you ever had to streamline your feature set? Immediately? If you visualize intra-vertically, you may have to empower magnetically. Without partnerships, you will lack cyber-ultra-customized, world-class content supervising monitoring. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and J2EE. Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for incubating. The branding management factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our nano-ultra-subscriber-defined client-focused re-sizing but our capacity to harness. We realize that if you drive intuitively then you may also transform virtually. Without front-end, killer reporting, you will lack Total Quality Management. If you mesh iteravely, you may have to reintermediate extensibly.