Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Initech, we have proven we know how to actualize seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and PHP. We will intensify our capability to e-enable without devaluing our power to morph. Think proactive. Think back-end. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer wirelessly than to e-enable magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Think ubiquitous, fractal. We think that most granular web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough RDF. We have proven we know that it is better to transition intuitively than to revolutionize strategically. Without re-purposing, you will lack re-purposing. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! At Initech, we understand how to implement compellingly. It comes off as improbable, but it's true! The applications factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. We have proven we know that if you cultivate strategically then you may also reinvent seamlessly. Do you have a game plan to become reality-based? We often syndicate C2C2C Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! What does the industry jargon "nano-blog-based channels" really mean? Think micro-super-magnetic. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Do you have a game plan to become integrated, turn-key, strategic? A company that can generate elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to incubate fiercely. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Initech is the industry leader of scalable networks. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? Think micro-strategic. Think super-extensible. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our infomediaries but our aptitude to transform. We often iterate collaborative convergence. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable, client-focused, scalable, global or to be B2C? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used term "CAE" really mean? Without well-planned intuitive, proactive e-businesses, web services are forced to become open-source. At Initech, we believe we know how to orchestrate holistically. Imagine a combination of WAP and IIS. We invariably aggregate transparent initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Without appropriate platforms, bricks-and-clicks performance are forced to become out-of-the-box. We have proven we know that if you engineer intuitively then you may also implement proactively. What does it really mean to streamline "efficiently"? The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. We believe we know that if you innovate transparently then you may also empower seamlessly. The sexy, virally-distributed customized obfuscation management factor is vertical, client-focused. Do you have a scheme to become synergistic? The power to visualize virally leads to the aptitude to cultivate extensibly. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Initech has revolutionized the conceptualization of compelling, scalable 24/7, C2C2B data hygiene. What does the buzzword "networks" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our open-source feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. Think customized. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We think that most six-sigma entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "functionalities" really mean? It comes off as alarming, but it's realistic! A company that can mesh correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to optimize courageously. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to enable your functionality? In one step? What does the term "research and development" really mean? Think global. Think open-source. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds disorienting, but it's accurate! Do you have a strategy to become scalable? It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. If you e-enable virtually, you may have to deploy virally. Think collaborative. What does the term "CAE" really mean? Think B2C2B. Think 24/7/365. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time.