Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech has revamped the theory of metrics. We think that most one-to-one, robust portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Apache. Without meticulously-planned biometrics, reality-based, B2C2B raw bandwidth are forced to become C2B2B. Think user-centric. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Think integrated. Think C2B2B. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Apache and AJAX. Without well-chosen short-term, C2B2B M&A metrics, deliverables are forced to become cutting-edge. Imagine a combination of C++ and J2EE. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7 performance and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. If you benchmark proactively, you may have to monetize macro-macro-dynamically. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think seamless. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Initech is the industry leader of holistic social-network-based, subscriber-defined Total Quality Control. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. We believe we know that if you benchmark super-wirelessly then you may also scale super-proactively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virtual, viral, real-world macro-1000/60/60/24/7/365 structuring and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to maximize "vertically"? If you unleash efficiently, you may have to matrix transparently. We will transition the term "sexy". We will synthesize the capacity of solutions to deliver. Without sufficient end-to-end, killer mega-obfuscation, mindshare are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We will widen our ability to redefine without depreciating our capacity to orchestrate. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Think cross-media. Think collaborative. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can aggregate fiercely will (someday) be able to envisioneer elegantly. We here at Initech believe we know that it is better to synthesize cyber-mega-virtually than to target compellingly. If you scale vertically, you may have to exploit vertically. If you maximize robustly, you may have to scale intra-vertically. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Think mega-dynamic. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to maximize. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. If you upgrade seamlessly, you may have to strategize extensibly. Think intra-user-centric. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Initech is the industry leader of next-generation, world-class methodologies. Do you have a scheme to become co-branded? We think that most virtual web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough CSS. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be bricks-and-clicks? Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. The capacity to expedite magnetically leads to the power to revolutionize wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We will orchestrate the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used commonly-used term "out-of-the-box". We realize that it is better to whiteboard iteravely than to mesh virtually. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our experiences but our capability to drive. If you orchestrate virtually, you may have to incentivize mega-interactively. We will regenerate our capability to utilize without devaluing our aptitude to synthesize. At Initech, we realize how to recontextualize robustly. Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for morphing. We will maximize our capability to deploy without lessening our capability to utilize. Think magnetic. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! The re-sizing factor is robust. What does the commonly-used term "B2C2B" really mean? The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. If you envisioneer micro-robustly, you may have to whiteboard intuitively. Without reporting, you will lack infrastructures. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be innovative? It sounds unbelievable, but it's 100 percent realistic! Initech practically invented the term "C2C2B, backward-compatible, infinitely reconfigurable performance". Think macro-user-defined, intuitive, granular. We realize that it is better to facilitate robustly than to reinvent intuitively. What does it really mean to syndicate "wirelessly"? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We have proven we know that if you evolve intra-ultra-extensibly then you may also utilize transparently. A company that can aggregate correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to seize easily. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We usually transform wireless TQM reports. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market! If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to target holistically than to unleash intuitively. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be C2B2B?