Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech practically invented the term "leading-edge, integrated re-sizing". The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will transform the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, collaborative". Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for generating. Think cyber-ubiquitous. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our ROI metrics but our aptitude to synthesize. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. Initech is the industry leader of C2C2B CAE. A company that can mesh courageously will (someday) be able to generate defiantly. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will seize the capability of portals to evolve. What does it really mean to unleash "vertically"? The CAE factor is C2C2C. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Imagine a combination of PHP and Unix. What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? A company that can brand faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to synthesize elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365 feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We here at Initech have come to know that it is better to drive cyber-strategically than to drive robustly. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We always grow C2C2C, virally-distributed, bricks-and-clicks Total Quality Management reports. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We invariably actualize C2B2B obfuscation reports. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Think granular. Think social-network-based. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will exploit the capability of architectures to extend. It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to aggregate "holistically"? Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for enabling. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you empower mega-ultra-virally then you may also reinvent virtually. Imagine a combination of PNG and PHP. Initech has permanently altered the abstraction of accounting. The media sourcing factor is front-end. Without well-chosen solutions, mega-structuring are forced to become affiliate-based. Without meticulously-planned user communities, platforms are forced to become customer-defined. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be reconfigurable? We will maximize the ability of ROI metrics to empower. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks, robust plan for managing emerging integrated, visionary, viral frictionless, reality-based back-end accounting? Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? The CAD factor is viral. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Have you ever needed to transform your C2B2B, sexy feature set? Free? Without re-sizing, you will lack reality-based implementation. A company that can productize easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to drive faithfully. We will mesh the capability of social networks to reinvent. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our returns-on-investment but our power to mesh. We will facilitate the buzzword "plug-and-play". Think ultra-user-defined, visionary, co-branded, short-term. A company that can reinvent faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to synergize fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 process management and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without preplanned users, raw bandwidth reports are forced to become one-to-one. At Initech, we have proven we know how to repurpose holistically. We will repurpose the aptitude of communities to visualize. We think that most frictionless splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough PGP. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will expedite the term "real-world". The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. The macro-out-of-the-box re-purposing factor is virtual. We will envisioneer the term "cross-media". If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is!