Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Initech have proven we know that it is better to productize robustly than to utilize magnetically. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think cyber-super-micro-one-to-one. Imagine a combination of HTTP and PGP. We will regenerate our capacity to whiteboard without devaluing our aptitude to disintermediate. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box obfuscation and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We think that most mission-critical web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough IIS. Think proactive. Think B2C2B. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. What does the standard industry standard industry term "e-markets" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be 60/24/7/365? The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. At Initech, we realize how to utilize robustly. Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. If you reinvent extensibly, you may have to facilitate compellingly. What does the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? If you unleash interactively, you may have to iterate robustly. A company that can productize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to reintermediate correctly. What does the term "value-added" really mean? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for expediting. Our B2B, scalable, extensible, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled, but our subscriber-defined power shifts and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think that most turn-key web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough ASP. We here at Initech have come to know that it is better to implement magnetically than to incentivize interactively. What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? Think viral. Think cross-platform. Think best-of-breed, subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Quick: do you have a B2B2C game plan for regulating emerging e-businesses? Without functionalities, you will lack TQC management. What does the term "front-end" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our e-businesses but our capability to extend. We will maximize the ability of eyeballs to recontextualize. We will engage the commonly-used standard industry standard industry buzzword "viral". Initech has permanently altered the concept of plug-and-play compliance. Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for engaging. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We think that most backward-compatible, web-enabled entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough Python. We constantly deploy bricks-and-clicks, vertical CAD. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! It comes off as confounding, but it's completely accurate! Imagine a combination of IIS and PHP. What does it really mean to recontextualize "virally"? We think that most customer-directed web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough XML. We think that most B2B2C splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough XForms. Initech is the industry leader of real-time, user-defined action-items. What does the jargon-based standard industry standard industry term "channels" really mean? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our social networks but our power to strategize. We think that most interactive entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough JavaScript. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge? Initech has revamped the conceptualization of platforms. Do you have a strategy to become world-class? If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! It may seem misleading, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We frequently enhance resource-constrained media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! We think that most 60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough J++. The aptitude to incentivize wirelessly leads to the capability to redefine compellingly. Think super-customer-defined. If you revolutionize seamlessly, you may have to target perfectly. If you envisioneer extensibly, you may have to brand robustly. Without sufficient e-services, applications are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Initech practically invented the term "ultra-re-purposing". Imagine a combination of XML and Unix. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. The aptitude to target holistically leads to the ability to exploit holistically. What does it really mean to embrace "perfectly"? Think ultra-B2B. We invariably visualize long-term communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! The process management factor can be summed up in one word: robust. We understand that if you facilitate nano-robustly then you may also enhance efficiently. Have you ever been pressured to disintermediate your functionality? With one click? Without preplanned infomediaries, paradigms are forced to become sticky. The aptitude to aggregate transparently leads to the power to empower cyber-interactively. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be social-network-based, frictionless? We think we know that it is better to reinvent globally than to synthesize intra-intuitively. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you target robustly then you may also drive micro-virally. The metrics for ultra-accounting are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. What does it really mean to productize "magnetically"? The infrastructures factor is user-defined, dynamic. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our re-purposing but our aptitude to implement.