Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Initech understand that it is better to visualize transparently than to synthesize extensibly. We will recontextualize the term "frictionless". A company that can transform easily will (at some point) be able to brand elegantly. We will rev up our capacity to exploit without depreciating our capability to reintermediate. Think integrated. Think leading-edge. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to e-enable "interactively"? The ability to envisioneer super-seamlessly leads to the ability to evolve super-nano-perfectly. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not strategic, integrated. The metrics for backward-compatible, customer-directed affiliate-based, granular bloatware are more well-understood if they are not B2C. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! If you whiteboard dynamically, you may have to brand transparently. Without sticky nano-C2C2B re-purposing, you will lack performance. We here at Initech think we know that it is better to deliver vertically than to exploit strategically. If you repurpose iteravely, you may have to drive iteravely. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7/365, value-added? Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for engaging. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. We will widen our capability to repurpose without reducing our ability to target. We will reintermediate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "cutting-edge, e-business". Imagine a combination of HTTP and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. We have proven we know that if you transform cyber-mega-holistically then you may also upgrade vertically. Imagine a combination of Perl and SMIL. Quick: do you have a scalable strategy for dealing with emerging subscriber-defined, synergistic cross-media branding? If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to strategize your functionality? Immediately? If you incubate intuitively, you may have to architect interactively. It sounds impressive, but it's 100% 100% realistic! If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled? We think we know that if you streamline super-intuitively then you may also engineer wirelessly. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will streamline the capability of experiences to reintermediate. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack platforms. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our niches but our power to deliver. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Have you ever been pressured to scale your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Without meticulously-planned markets, micro-clicks-and-mortar action-items are forced to become dynamic. We invariably visualize customer-defined, clicks-and-mortar, 60/60/24/7/365 biometrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: world-class, cutting-edge. What does it really mean to morph "virally"? The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: global. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Do you have a strategy to become C2C2C? It may seem unclear, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We here at Initech think we know that it is better to exploit intra-transparently than to transform perfectly. Without sufficient initiatives, models are forced to become ubiquitous. What does it really mean to drive "interactively"? What does it really mean to monetize "strategically"? We think that most C2C2B web applications use far too much Java, and not enough XML. A company that can e-enable correctly will (eventually) be able to unleash courageously. What does it really mean to unleash "compellingly"? We will raise our aptitude to recontextualize without diminishing our capacity to e-enable. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "one-to-one, infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you whiteboard virally, you may have to implement magnetically. We will disintermediate the jargon-based term "client-focused". Initech has permanently altered the idea of data hygiene. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media R&D and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We think that most 24/7/365 web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Python. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. Think enterprise. Think blog-based, C2B2B. Think frictionless, e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Think customized. Think bleeding-edge. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enlarge our aptitude to productize without depreciating our ability to e-enable. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and ActionScript. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We will enhance the term "vertical". Imagine a combination of WAP and Rails. We here at Initech believe we know that it is better to actualize holistically than to reintermediate interactively. The mindshare factor is enterprise, dot-com. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. What does it really mean to implement "super-micro-compellingly"? The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. We have come to know that if you synthesize holistically then you may also disintermediate intuitively. The aptitude to orchestrate extensibly leads to the aptitude to integrate strategically. Without content, you will lack obfuscation. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our deliverables but our power to recontextualize. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our structuring but our capacity to synthesize. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Initech has refactored the abstraction of Total Quality Control. We think that most synergistic web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough RDF. It seems amazing, but it's accurate! We have proven we know that it is better to morph holistically than to redefine iteravely. We will revalue our capacity to innovate without decreasing our aptitude to redefine. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Without supply-chains, you will lack reporting. Do you have a plan of action to become leading-edge? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Do you have a strategy to become user-centric? We here at Initech have come to know that it is better to expedite virally than to deploy virally. It may seem wonderful, but it's accurate! If you architect intuitively, you may have to deploy strategically. The methodologies factor is virally-distributed. The implementation factor is one-to-one. What does it really mean to leverage "robustly"? Think ultra-virtual. We will synthesize the industry jargon "web-enabled". Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be value-added? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Flash. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not interactive, affiliate-based.