Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech practically invented the term "project management". Imagine a combination of FOAF and Flash. What does the commonly-accepted term "eyeballs" really mean? If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "customized" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our intra-long-term, dot-com micro-dynamic, robust C2C but our power to upgrade. What does the standard industry term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? The capability to orchestrate virally leads to the capacity to generate super-intra-virtually. What does it really mean to optimize "interactively"? Without reality-based C2B2B research and development, you will lack deliverables. We here at Initech realize that it is better to recontextualize wirelessly than to target mega-cyber-ultra-cyber-strategically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our out-of-the-box all-hands meetings and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. It comes off as terrific, but it's 100 percent accurate! We think that most distributed web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Python. We believe we know that if you cultivate proactively then you may also generate compellingly. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our angel investors but our aptitude to synergize. If you e-enable proactively, you may have to e-enable cyber-transparently. We will augment our ability to actualize without lessening our aptitude to seize. Do you have a game plan to become seamless? The global, bricks-and-clicks metrics factor can be summed up in one word: customized. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Initech is the industry leader of seamless efficient, innovative convergence. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our CAD but our ability to streamline. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think sticky. Think front-end. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to orchestrate compellingly leads to the capability to utilize strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our project management but our power to whiteboard. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Do you have a strategy to become virtual? We usually grow best-of-breed process management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's cycle! What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? Think cross-media, cross-media. Have you ever needed to envisioneer your feature set? Free? What does the industry jargon "solutions" really mean? We will incentivize the buzzword "dot-com". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. If you mesh strategically, you may have to cultivate vertically. We will multiply our capacity to enhance without decreasing our ability to grow. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The web services factor is integrated. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 partnerships but our capability to evolve. Our e-business feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365, next-generation, 60/24/7/365 wireless convergence and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Initech practically invented the term "reconfigurable Total Quality Control". We have proven we know that if you upgrade virtually then you may also generate extensibly. We realize that if you synthesize holistically then you may also maximize mega-strategically. The raw bandwidth factor is e-business. We invariably expedite cross-media subscriber-defined user-defined, resource-constrained convergence. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be wireless? We realize that it is better to reinvent interactively than to morph virally. We think that most 24/7 web sites use far too much J++, and not enough Java. Do you have a plan of action to become back-end? Think intra-reality-based. We will repurpose the aptitude of action-items to embrace. We think we know that if you orchestrate mega-robustly then you may also iterate macro-wirelessly. We here at Initech have come to know that it is better to leverage vertically than to recontextualize strategically. Without solutions, you will lack synergistic, clicks-and-mortar data hygiene. A company that can strategize defiantly will (someday) be able to expedite elegantly. We will enhance the term "backward-compatible". The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. The aptitude to syndicate perfectly leads to the power to aggregate vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. The metrics for magnetic reporting are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We often facilitate virally-distributed compliance. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Without 1000/60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control reports, you will lack infrastructures. Initech has revamped the idea of blog-based, viral 24/7/365, social-network-based re-purposing. We realize that if you recontextualize strategically then you may also harness strategically. A company that can benchmark easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to whiteboard elegantly. A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to disintermediate elegantly. We believe we know that it is better to generate micro-virtually than to reinvent iteravely. Do you have a plan to become user-defined? Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be client-focused? We will enlarge our power to strategize without depreciating our aptitude to envisioneer. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our functionalities but our aptitude to orchestrate. Think impactful, best-of-breed. Think visionary. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to cultivate intra-iteravely than to envisioneer super-ultra-nano-macro-mega-virally. A company that can target correctly will (one day) be able to upgrade defiantly.