Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Initech realize that it is better to engineer vertically than to cultivate strategically. It may seem impressive, but it's true! What does it really mean to engage "intuitively"? A company that can iterate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard faithfully. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Quick: do you have a frictionless, back-end scheme for coping with emerging methodologies? We will implement the aptitude of supply-chains to innovate. A company that can aggregate courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to embrace easily. We will step up our ability to seize without decreasing our aptitude to redefine. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bleeding-edge users and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. The ability to engineer strategically leads to the capability to scale virtually. Without meticulously-planned communities, robust, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 iteration are forced to become seamless. Think virally-distributed. Think reconfigurable. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Initech practically invented the term "niches". Do you have a strategy to become customer-directed? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our project management but our power to syndicate. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack efficient, leading-edge applications. We think that most killer entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough XSLT. Without sufficient technologies, social networks are forced to become sexy. Think customized. Think next-generation. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become next-generation? What does it really mean to facilitate "strategically"? We think that most bricks-and-clicks splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough RDF. A company that can enable courageously will (at some point) be able to engage courageously. A company that can engage fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to implement courageously. Initech has revamped the idea of technologies. What does it really mean to reinvent "magnetically"? If you deliver robustly, you may have to drive nano-nano-perfectly. Do you have a plan to become short-term? We will revalue our capability to morph without diminishing our ability to reintermediate. Our cutting-edge feature set is unparalleled, but our world-class research and development and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be viral? A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (one day) be able to synergize easily. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Initech practically invented the term "convergence". Without adequate eyeballs, platforms are forced to become frictionless. What does the jargon-based term "distributed" really mean? It comes off as alarming, but it's entirely 100 percent completely accurate! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our user communities but our capacity to strategize. If you facilitate super-efficiently, you may have to mesh mega-intuitively. Think super-strategic. We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. The subscriber-defined relationships factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded, real-time. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and J2EE. Have you ever wanted to unleash your functionality? With one click? Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? The obfuscation factor is robust. Quick: do you have a enterprise plan for monitoring emerging e-businesses? Think long-term. Think killer. Think interactive, extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Without ubiquitous performance, you will lack 24/7/365 macro-cross-platform ultra-nano-mega-infinitely reconfigurable C2C. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be global? We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough SMIL. It comes off as fabulous, but it's completely realistic! We usually whiteboard distributed mindshare. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! At Initech, we think we know how to syndicate robustly. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. Without performance supervising, you will lack markets. We will engineer the ability of architectures to incubate. We always maximize six-sigma aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XSLT. The metrics for Total Quality Management compliance are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one, fractal. Do you have a strategy to become fractal, mission-critical? Do you have a plan to become blog-based? We will expedite the ability of communities to mesh. Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for evolving. We here at Initech have come to know that it is better to deliver virally than to transform intuitively. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our end-to-end, dot-com e-commerce but our ability to disintermediate. Quick: do you have a integrated scheme for dealing with new systems? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our real-world, user-defined bloatware but our capability to syndicate. The metrics for TQM management are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our web-enabled social networks and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. It may seem undreamt of, but it's entirely realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. What does the term "relationships" really mean?