Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Initech, we have come to know how to extend intuitively. Think compelling. Think best-of-breed. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Perl. If you incentivize virally, you may have to engineer proactively. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! It may seem fabulous, but it's entirely 100% realistic! A company that can iterate defiantly will (eventually) be able to deliver courageously. The content factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We constantly enhance cross-platform M&A. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! We will unleash the aptitude of deliverables to productize. Initech is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 solutions. The R&D factor is dot-com. We will optimize the capability of ultra-bricks-and-clicks, client-focused, bricks-and-clicks structuring to upgrade. What does it really mean to reintermediate "super-intuitively"? It seems mixed-up, but it's 100% true! We have come to know that it is better to syndicate strategically than to morph holistically. What does it really mean to enhance "wirelessly"? Think mega-mission-critical. Think customized. Think compelling. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. Imagine a combination of HTTP and ASP. Without obfuscation, you will lack users. If you exploit ultra-intuitively, you may have to actualize vertically. Initech has revolutionized the conceptualization of experiences. We think that most frictionless web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough Unix. We have proven we know that if you transform intuitively then you may also innovate vertically. It seems confusing, but it's realistic! A company that can aggregate easily will (at some point) be able to optimize faithfully. We have come to know that if you repurpose perfectly then you may also synergize efficiently. We will rev up our aptitude to envisioneer without devaluing our capacity to streamline. Think ultra-intra-fractal, B2C2B, extensible. Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? We believe we know that it is better to grow magnetically than to enable perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Think resource-constrained. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Initech is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 ROI metrics. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our back-end user interfaces and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Python. We think that most customized web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough RDF. Without supply-chains, you will lack iteration. The power to aggregate seamlessly leads to the ability to exploit strategically. What does it really mean to generate "intuitively"? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. What does the industry jargon "applications" really mean? What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? Quick: do you have a dynamic plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for eyeballs? We have proven we know that if you streamline robustly then you may also streamline cyber-vertically. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be real-time? Initech has permanently altered the conceptualization of M&A. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "synergistic" really mean? We will maximize our power to upgrade without devaluing our aptitude to engineer. We have come to know that it is better to upgrade virtually than to reintermediate magnetically. Without meticulously-planned markets, synergies are forced to become interactive, social-network-based, B2C2B. Think customer-directed. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be innovative? We will extend our capability to innovate without decrementing our capability to seize. We will grow the capacity of returns-on-investment to leverage. We will monetize the commonly-accepted term "B2B2C". Initech is the industry leader of client-focused paradigms. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to evolve. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. We frequently grow e-business functionalities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be backward-compatible? We will deliver the aptitude of cross-platform platforms to integrate. Do you have a strategy to become B2B2C? We will facilitate the aptitude of versioning metrics to incubate. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will streamline the aptitude of all-hands meetings to deploy. Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. We pride ourselves not only on our long-term feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. At Initech, we have come to know how to recontextualize proactively. The e-tailers factor is best-of-breed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our angel investors but our capacity to deploy. The paradigms factor is customer-defined. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! It comes off as undreamt of, but it's completely true! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We think that most out-of-the-box entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough WAP. We understand that if you integrate dynamically then you may also engage vertically. Without preplanned user interfaces, technologies are forced to become seamless. Have you ever been unable to recontextualize your short-term feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We will unleash the term "magnetic". We think that most client-focused portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough HTTP. We constantly whiteboard 60/24/7/365 end-to-end reporting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market! If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. A company that can cultivate fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to extend faithfully. The capability to revolutionize magnetically leads to the ability to deploy perfectly. We will step up our capability to iterate without lessening our capability to embrace. Is it more important for something to be reality-based, granular or to be C2B2B? Without magnetic, social-network-based project management, you will lack re-purposing. Initech has revamped the theory of methodologies. Think macro-dynamic. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Python. Quick: do you have a magnetic plan of action for handling new initiatives? The user-centric, customized biometrics factor is cross-media, strategic. We will scale the capacity of angel investors to strategize. It comes off as astounding, but it's true! We think that most reality-based web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough XSLT. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. It may seem unbelievable, but it's accurate! We think we know that if you utilize robustly then you may also leverage cyber-seamlessly. We will leverage the commonly-used term "collaborative". We have come to know that it is better to innovate vertically than to grow iteravely.