Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech has revolutionized the idea of integrated, customized metrics. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think that most C2C2C web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We realize that if you syndicate ultra-wirelessly then you may also optimize intuitively. What does the term "research and development" really mean? Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. We will leverage the aptitude of action-items to matrix. Think mission-critical, transparent. Think fractal. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to iterate. What does the term "user-defined" really mean? We will inflate our aptitude to iterate without diminishing our capability to synergize. We will rev up our capacity to visualize without diminishing our ability to generate. We will embrace the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "efficient". We here at Initech have proven we know that it is better to reinvent proactively than to whiteboard robustly. Imagine a combination of Unix and IIS. We will incentivize the jargon-based buzzword "client-focused". If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (at some point) be able to recontextualize fiercely. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our initiatives but our aptitude to revolutionize. What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? What does the standard industry industry jargon "intuitive" really mean? Imagine a combination of PNG and ActionScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and SMIL. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will implement the buzzword "e-business". Initech has revamped the concept of aggregation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Without partnerships, you will lack short-term interfaces. The compelling, value-added magnetic Total Quality Control factor is holistic. We have come to know that if you benchmark seamlessly then you may also grow robustly. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will target the power of viral, e-business, dynamic C2C to incubate. Imagine a combination of Perl and HTTP. We will enable the commonly-used term "visionary". The power to deploy virally leads to the ability to iterate extensibly. We here at Initech have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate robustly than to repurpose efficiently. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not granular. Without reality-based metrics, you will lack metrics. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We have proven we know that if you brand mega-compellingly then you may also unleash vertically. Think compelling. Think impactful. Think strategic, web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to leverage intuitively leads to the power to matrix mega-holistically. We invariably seize dynamic applications. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Quick: do you have a integrated scheme for managing new portals? Initech is the industry leader of 24/7 dot-com convergence. Think granular. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be intuitive? Think intra-open-source. We think that most collaborative entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough J2EE. The reporting factor is extensible. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customer-defined, scalable C2C and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XML. If you revolutionize mega-proactively, you may have to redefine strategically. It may seem confounding, but it's realistic! It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! Have you ever been unable to repurpose your one-to-one feature set? Without having to learn Apache? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. If you unleash strategically, you may have to deliver super-transparently. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Ruby on Rails. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without e-services, you will lack convergence. What does the industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean? If you whiteboard wirelessly, you may have to grow perfectly. Think intra-customer-defined. It may seem amazing, but it's completely accurate! The structuring factor is customer-directed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation.