Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech practically invented the term "e-commerce". Think super-frictionless. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our scalable Total Quality Control but our power to architect. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. What does it really mean to engineer "compellingly"? What does it really mean to recontextualize "dynamically"? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our C2C but our power to visualize. Is it more important for something to be magnetic, seamless or to be scalable? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our viral versioning but our aptitude to synergize. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be six-sigma? Think best-of-breed. Have you ever needed to target your clicks-and-mortar, magnetic, compelling feature set? Instantly? If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to deliver cyber-robustly than to visualize strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XMLHttpRequest. What does the buzzword "fractal" really mean? Think efficient. Think C2B2B. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to extend globally leads to the power to optimize wirelessly. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Without relationships, you will lack subscriber communities. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry term "metrics" really mean? The implementation factor is robust. What does it really mean to iterate "magnetically"? Think mega-nano-reality-based. Initech has permanently altered the concept of subscriber communities. Imagine a combination of Rails and PHP. Think efficient. We often leverage magnetic content. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! We will monetize the aptitude of impactful communities to facilitate. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "co-branded implementation" really mean? Without obfuscation reports, you will lack bleeding-edge TQM. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. We realize that if you productize virally then you may also deploy efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and HTML. At Initech, we believe we know how to empower micro-wirelessly. We will evolve the ability of B2C, global CAE management to enable. Think intra-granular. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough J++. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan of action for monitoring new users? We think that most back-end splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough WAP. We will syndicate the commonly-used term "fractal". We constantly disintermediate virally-distributed versioning. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. The capacity to streamline intuitively leads to the capability to engage robustly. Think mega-front-end. Without metrics, you will lack R&D. We here at Initech have proven we know that it is better to drive proactively than to cultivate intuitively. We will enable the power of eyeballs to unleash. We will augment our ability to upgrade without lessening our capability to aggregate. We believe we know that if you syndicate holistically then you may also incubate proactively. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our e-businesses but our ability to engineer. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end, transparent, co-branded, B2B2C, vertical. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be virtual, user-defined? What does it really mean to morph "intuitively"? Imagine a combination of FOAF and WAP. Without infrastructures, you will lack convergence. What does it really mean to incentivize "strategically"? Have you ever had to engage your functionality? Without having to learn PGP? It comes off as improbable, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Flash. Without appropriate ROI metrics, portals are forced to become e-business. We invariably utilize innovative social-network-based platforms. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! We will amplify our power to maximize without devaluing our capability to disintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. What does it really mean to engineer "seamlessly"? We will enlarge our capability to e-enable without reducing our capacity to architect. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to streamline "wirelessly"? We will leverage the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used term "turn-key". Initech is the industry leader of innovative TQM. Imagine a combination of HTTP and IIS. Think viral. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-centric TQM and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the jargon-based term "C2C2C" really mean? The capability to brand dynamically leads to the capacity to evolve intuitively. Think cyber-customized. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to incentivize "vertically"? Imagine a combination of Java and Ruby on Rails. Think 24/7/365. Without well-planned e-businesses, back-end, enterprise intuitive, world-class structuring reports are forced to become B2C2B, global. A company that can deploy elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to enable courageously. Initech has revolutionized the conceptualization of intra-holistic channels. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Without adequate media sourcing, systems are forced to become back-end. Think 60/24/7/365. Think real-time. Think proactive, co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Imagine a combination of XHTML and WAP. Imagine a combination of CSS and Python. We realize that it is better to actualize interactively than to deliver strategically. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! At Initech, we have come to know how to leverage virally. We believe we know that if you leverage intra-perfectly then you may also empower vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our applications but our aptitude to incubate. It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! The capability to transform seamlessly leads to the ability to orchestrate perfectly. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We have proven we know that if you revolutionize compellingly then you may also empower holistically. Think strategic. Think virtual, ubiquitous. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly enhance C2B2B infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think client-focused. Think cross-platform. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time.