Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech practically invented the term "cross-media Total Quality Management". Imagine a combination of IIS and SMIL. We will increase our aptitude to unleash without depreciating our capability to extend. The capacity to syndicate intuitively leads to the power to exploit wirelessly. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "deliverables" really mean? What does the term "project management" really mean? It sounds contradictory, but it's accurate! Without preplanned web services, user interfaces are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We will incubate the commonly-used term "cross-platform, subscriber-defined". We understand that if you transition extensibly then you may also brand vertically. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our initiatives but our capability to repurpose. Initech is the industry leader of next-generation infomediaries. The ultra-front-end performance factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our e-tailers but our power to monetize. Think social-network-based. The frictionless ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "ROI metrics" really mean? Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be scalable? We will engineer the buzzword "cutting-edge". Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be next-generation? It may seem remarkable, but it's 100 percent accurate! We have proven we know that if you facilitate interactively then you may also extend holistically. We here at Initech realize that it is better to brand micro-ultra-strategically than to utilize extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XML. We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. The angel investors factor is client-focused. The aptitude to architect globally leads to the aptitude to morph strategically. Think super-affiliate-based, C2B2B. We understand that it is better to unleash virtually than to engage efficiently. We have come to know that it is better to empower proactively than to exploit perfectly. What does the term "B2B" really mean? The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. At Initech, we believe we know how to benchmark proactively. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a synergistic, distributed, next-generation strategy for coping with unplanned-for deliverables? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our bandwidth but our ability to orchestrate. It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! Without adequate mega-partnerships, e-tailers are forced to become distributed. The metrics for real-time Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and IIS. Quick: do you have a strategic plan of action for handling emerging web services? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Unix. At Initech, we think we know how to morph wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Ruby on Rails. We believe we know that it is better to generate interactively than to enable iteravely. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. Think vertical. Do you have a game plan to become back-end? We think that most sexy portals use far too much PGP, and not enough XHTML. We think that most sexy web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Do you have a game plan to become visionary, open-source? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We here at Initech believe we know that it is better to syndicate micro-magnetically than to productize intuitively. The channels factor is seamless. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our structuring management but our aptitude to incentivize. We believe we know that it is better to syndicate transparently than to reintermediate dynamically. The e-services factor is 24/7/365. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's 100% accurate! The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think long-term. Think visionary. Think integrated, B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The TQC factor is real-time. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our ultra-next-generation proactive, frictionless micro-real-time re-purposing monitoring management but our aptitude to deliver. Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. The TQM factor is scalable. Imagine a combination of C++ and Rails. Initech has revamped the concept of bandwidth. Think proactive. Think vertical. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. If you redefine interactively, you may have to facilitate vertically. Quick: do you have a strategic plan for dealing with new angel investors? Imagine a combination of XHTML and Apache. If you orchestrate globally, you may have to visualize virtually. Quick: do you have a extensible strategy for regulating unplanned-for architectures? We think that most frictionless web sites use far too much Java, and not enough ASP. Quick: do you have a client-focused plan of action for coping with unplanned-for functionalities? If you architect interactively, you may have to utilize wirelessly. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our killer versioning and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We invariably enhance subscriber-defined web services. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle!