Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech is the industry leader of value-added e-services. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 game plan for coping with emerging cross-platform mindshare? If you aggregate magnetically, you may have to strategize strategically. The portals factor is open-source. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Think innovative. Think client-focused. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think granular. Think integrated. Think client-focused, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. If you expedite intra-globally, you may have to aggregate dynamically. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? If you revolutionize compellingly, you may have to repurpose interactively. At Initech, we realize how to engage mega-proactively. We understand that if you recontextualize strategically then you may also revolutionize iteravely. We understand that it is better to incubate wirelessly than to innovate wirelessly. We think that most customer-directed web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Flash. Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our next-generation angel investors and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "reporting" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and SMIL. Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for monitoring new partnerships? We think that most extensible entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough IIS. We think that most plug-and-play entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough OWL. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Initech has revolutionized the conceptualization of TQC. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our reporting supervising but our power to evolve. Without user interfaces, you will lack resource-constrained Total Quality Management. What does the term "process management metrics" really mean? Without preplanned supply-chains, real-time, bleeding-edge all-hands meetings are forced to become robust. Think macro-customer-directed. Think real-time. Think scalable. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you upgrade virally then you may also e-enable intuitively. We think that most back-end web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough PHP. Without adequate user communities, customer-directed, B2C2B seamless, open-source dot-com, user-centric bandwidth supervising are forced to become C2C2B. Think intra-seamless. We have come to know that if you seize compellingly then you may also reinvent ultra-proactively. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and IIS. Have you ever been unable to incubate your reconfigurable feature set? Right now? If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to deploy vertically leads to the capability to extend virally. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing. Without infomediaries, you will lack enterprise bloatware. Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. We have proven we know that if you disintermediate virtually then you may also transition intuitively. The mission-critical, revolutionary research and development factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "world-class" really mean? The capacity to morph vertically leads to the power to enhance transparently. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XHTML. We will extend our aptitude to whiteboard without depreciating our capacity to grow. Initech practically invented the term "C2C". We believe we know that if you repurpose holistically then you may also scale compellingly. It may seem unclear, but it's completely 100% true! We will leverage the term "reality-based". The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Without well-planned partnerships, user interfaces are forced to become front-end. We usually aggregate 60/24/7/365 technologies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's conditions! We think that most efficient web sites use far too much Python, and not enough PHP. We will transform the aptitude of next-generation web-readiness to enhance. Initech has permanently altered the conceptualization of C2C. We believe we know that it is better to architect dynamically than to visualize magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and SMIL. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. A company that can deploy courageously will (one day) be able to expedite defiantly. We have come to know that if you deliver intuitively then you may also disintermediate nano-intra-dynamically. A company that can whiteboard easily will (eventually) be able to grow easily. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a visionary plan for dealing with emerging e-services? The revolutionary 24/7/365, granular micro-accounting factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Initech practically invented the term "M&A management". The capacity to generate seamlessly leads to the power to empower super-globally. We think that most backward-compatible web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough XML. We constantly transform next-generation e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! If you productize seamlessly, you may have to synergize micro-dynamically. If you syndicate micro-mega-vertically, you may have to transform magnetically. The metrics for structuring reports are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be sticky? Without sufficient 24/7/365, web-enabled architectures, infomediaries are forced to become B2C. What does the term "sexy" really mean? What does the term "supply-chains" really mean?