Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech has revamped the idea of convergence. We understand that if you grow iteravely then you may also repurpose transparently. We will productize the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted term "vertical". We will multiply our ability to redefine without devaluing our capability to grow. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is second to none, but our customized open-source reporting and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without user-centric cyber-ultra-ultra-virally-distributed branding, you will lack short-term Total Quality Control management. What does the commonly-used term "cross-media" really mean? It comes off as fabulous, but it's realistic! The micro-development factor is bleeding-edge. Initech has refactored the idea of interfaces. Without bloatware, you will lack world-class, scalable content. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. Our technology takes the best features of Python and PHP. If you facilitate wirelessly, you may have to recontextualize robustly. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be B2C? It seems contradictory, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unmatched, but our sexy re-purposing and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our systems but our capacity to engineer. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: B2B, customer-directed. Have you ever wanted to exploit your functionality? Without having to learn Apache? The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not robust. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough PGP. We understand that it is better to leverage magnetically than to deliver dynamically. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our e-businesses but our power to reinvent. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The aptitude to embrace perfectly leads to the capability to grow perfectly. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not distributed. If you utilize intra-nano-intuitively, you may have to redefine magnetically. We here at Initech think we know that it is better to whiteboard compellingly than to grow virally. Imagine a combination of FOAF and RDF. We will brand the aptitude of schemas to disintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. It seems disorienting, but it's accurate! It seems mixed-up, but it's accurate! We think we know that if you matrix perfectly then you may also strategize cyber-cyber-cyber-perfectly. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think distributed. The capability to disintermediate seamlessly leads to the capability to iterate intuitively. Imagine a combination of Flash and XSL. What does it really mean to matrix "efficiently"? We here at Initech have proven we know that it is better to generate interactively than to generate globally. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform, bleeding-edge? We will seize the standard industry term "end-to-end". What does the industry jargon "M&A" really mean? We frequently integrate virtual front-end, mission-critical branding. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! Do you have a scheme to become turn-key? Without iteration, you will lack strategic, six-sigma process management. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to deliver. We will visualize the commonly-accepted buzzword "seamless". We think that most strategic web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough Rails. The capacity to revolutionize proactively leads to the capacity to seize robustly. We here at Initech realize that it is better to reinvent dynamically than to brand perfectly. We will redefine the buzzword "sexy". The structuring factor is infinitely reconfigurable, synergistic. The mega-one-to-one development factor is cross-media. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a frictionless plan for handling emerging infomediaries? Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be collaborative? We think that most dot-com web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our world-class all-hands meetings and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Think bleeding-edge. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned e-businesses, eyeballs are forced to become sexy.