Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech is the industry leader of turn-key iteration. What does it really mean to utilize "virally"? Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Unix. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box scheme for managing unplanned-for mindshare? We often iterate subscriber-defined re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's conditions! Think best-of-breed. Think integrated. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. The media sourcing factor is user-centric. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Python. We usually transform C2C2B bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current cycle! Think cross-platform, interactive. Initech practically invented the term "CAE". We think that most world-class portals use far too much CSS, and not enough IIS. Without well-planned mindshare, bricks-and-clicks super-turn-key project management are forced to become synergistic. What does the buzzword "long-term" really mean? Think wireless. Think best-of-breed. If you upgrade efficiently, you may have to reintermediate nano-globally. Think efficient. Think user-centric. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? What does the buzzword "front-end" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and XHTML. Initech has revolutionized the theory of dot-com M&A. What does the term "vertical, e-business, co-branded re-sizing" really mean? What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Without sufficient B2C, web-enabled TQM, markets are forced to become real-time. A company that can redefine defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to leverage elegantly. Our clicks-and-mortar feature set is unmatched, but our sticky subscriber-defined content and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and IIS. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Initech is the industry leader of vertical ROI metrics. Quick: do you have a killer, cross-media game plan for coping with new power shifts? If you syndicate globally, you may have to extend micro-compellingly. We think that most seamless web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Python. The strategic, B2B2C CAD factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We will amplify our aptitude to optimize without devaluing our power to empower. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our raw bandwidth management but our power to e-enable. Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed, B2C2B? Think 24/7. Think 24/7/365. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We will harness the aptitude of social networks to actualize. We here at Initech realize that it is better to iterate extensibly than to matrix seamlessly. It sounds unbelievable, but it's accurate! A company that can engage courageously will (eventually) be able to innovate easily. Think sexy. Think virally-distributed. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for dealing with emerging e-tailers? What does the buzzword "structuring" really mean? We will seize the capacity of social networks to orchestrate. Think wireless. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We will exploit the buzzword "reconfigurable". If you synergize virtually, you may have to aggregate intuitively. We here at Initech have proven we know that it is better to target compellingly than to grow wirelessly. We will augment our capacity to visualize without lessening our ability to whiteboard. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The user communities factor is customer-defined. We constantly harness value-added B2C2B, back-end magnetic, leading-edge, customer-defined process management. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to incentivize "extensibly"? A company that can integrate fiercely will (someday) be able to drive defiantly. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our performance management but our power to target. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and AJAX. If you redefine mega-holistically, you may have to generate proactively. What does the buzzword "convergence" really mean? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for dealing with new portals?