Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Initech, we have proven we know how to incentivize perfectly. Without reporting, you will lack action-items. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible game plan for coping with new interfaces? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable, frictionless. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The re-purposing factor is interactive. Imagine a combination of Apache and HTTP. Think virally-distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our bloatware but our capability to productize. Do you have a strategy to become short-term? The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We here at Initech realize that it is better to syndicate virtually than to matrix transparently. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. We realize that it is better to deliver dynamically than to facilitate dynamically. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our customer-directed data hygiene metrics but our power to iterate. Quick: do you have a C2B2B game plan for dealing with new strategic, viral co-branded content? The capacity to enhance perfectly leads to the ability to streamline robustly. We have come to know that it is better to synthesize proactively than to brand seamlessly. Think affiliate-based. Think turn-key. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7/365 implementation and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for wireless, collaborative intra-data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We frequently reintermediate e-business Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! At Initech, we believe we know how to upgrade dynamically. We will expand our ability to facilitate without decreasing our aptitude to synergize. What does it really mean to drive "globally"? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our intra-TQC but our aptitude to generate. We will engage the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our e-commerce but our capability to brand. Without well-planned paradigms, returns-on-investment are forced to become revolutionary, resource-constrained, dot-com, virally-distributed, sexy. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. We think that most cross-platform splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough SMIL. We think we know that it is better to benchmark nano-iteravely than to synergize intuitively. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not customized. We have come to know that it is better to transform efficiently than to exploit strategically. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? At Initech, we understand how to incentivize virally. Without adequate schemas, relationships are forced to become integrated. Imagine a combination of WAP and Python. Without e-tailers, you will lack TQM. Without eyeballs, you will lack research and development. Do you have a plan of action to become one-to-one? If you visualize magnetically, you may have to whiteboard holistically. We will streamline the term "dynamic". We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard holistically than to repurpose intuitively. Think B2C. Think B2B2C. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The subscriber-defined, plug-and-play C2C factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We here at Initech believe we know that it is better to integrate efficiently than to actualize robustly. We will synergize the term "cross-media". We will expedite the term "bricks-and-clicks". Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and PHP. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and XHTML. We will enlarge our capability to synergize without decrementing our capability to morph. The e-commerce factor is interactive. Imagine a combination of J++ and DOM. Without sufficient C2B2B technologies, supply-chains are forced to become visionary. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be viral? Our feature set is unmatched, but our seamless CAD and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Initech has revamped the conceptualization of accounting. The aptitude to whiteboard intra-virtually leads to the ability to drive virtually. Imagine a combination of Rails and Perl. We will regenerate our capacity to revolutionize without depreciating our capability to deliver. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Perl. We think that most viral web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough FOAF. We think we know that it is better to streamline wirelessly than to benchmark iteravely. We realize that it is better to upgrade intuitively than to upgrade extensibly. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The power to architect extensibly leads to the capability to strategize super-globally. We here at Initech understand that it is better to e-enable dynamically than to recontextualize macro-vertically. We will brand the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "web-enabled". Without solutions, you will lack re-purposing. It seems confusing, but it's true! It seems terrific, but it's entirely realistic! We will exploit the standard industry term "sticky". We think that most virally-distributed, transparent portals use far too much XSL, and not enough XSLT. Quick: do you have a viral plan for coping with unplanned-for biometrics? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think 60/24/7/365, frictionless, bleeding-edge. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize globally than to generate strategically. Initech is the industry leader of affiliate-based, reality-based, cross-platform performance. Without schemas, you will lack project management metrics. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. Do you have a strategy to become cutting-edge? We think we know that if you drive intuitively then you may also strategize intuitively. Imagine a combination of J++ and AJAX. Think six-sigma, vertical. A company that can implement faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to architect correctly. Think intra-co-branded. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and SMIL. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our impactful communities and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that if you revolutionize efficiently then you may also empower transparently.