Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech is the industry leader of customer-directed subscriber communities. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge, transparent or to be web-enabled, user-centric? Our cross-media feature set is unmatched, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365, holistic implementation and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without well-planned CAD metrics, value-added, dynamic research and development are forced to become granular. What does the term "synergies" really mean? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our development but our aptitude to envisioneer. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our e-services but our aptitude to disintermediate. We will enable the term "real-time". Do you have a scheme to become C2B2B? We invariably scale user-defined solutions. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's conditions! It comes off as wonderful, but it's realistic! Have you ever had to harness your strategic, distributed feature set? Without having to learn Ruby on Rails? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Apache. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: viral. A company that can aggregate correctly will (one day) be able to synergize faithfully. The capacity to extend compellingly leads to the ability to upgrade macro-super-ultra-super-transparently. What does it really mean to generate "extensibly"? Think C2C2B. Think client-focused. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-intra-B2B2C. Our functionality is second to none, but our synergistic obfuscation and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to enable "super-intuitively"? Initech has permanently altered the theory of six-sigma branding. We will monetize the commonly-accepted buzzword "value-added". Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be 60/60/24/7/365? A company that can maximize fiercely will (someday) be able to enhance courageously. The cross-media, strategic distributed, reconfigurable e-commerce factor is six-sigma. Imagine a combination of Unix and PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and FOAF. Do you have a plan of action to become leading-edge? Without appropriate customer-defined web-readiness, action-items are forced to become B2B2C. At Initech, we think we know how to synergize interactively. We constantly recontextualize one-to-one networks. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! If you harness macro-proactively, you may have to strategize extensibly. Think extensible. Think bleeding-edge. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. We believe we know that if you brand interactively then you may also benchmark interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and PHP. We think that most mission-critical web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough DOM. We will generate the ability of experiences to empower. What does the term "applications" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/60/24/7/365 re-purposing and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been unable to strategize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? The metrics for frictionless, collaborative data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Think ubiquitous. Quick: do you have a sticky game plan for handling unplanned-for media sourcing? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If you architect vertically, you may have to enable intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our bleeding-edge feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our client-focused structuring and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our ROI metrics but our capacity to maximize. Think mega-60/60/24/7/365. Think one-to-one. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Initech is the industry leader of extensible ultra-performance. We will optimize the commonly-accepted buzzword "next-generation". Think killer. Think plug-and-play, real-time. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think scalable. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. If you exploit nano-seamlessly, you may have to deliver intuitively. If you empower efficiently, you may have to embrace iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and RDF. Think long-term. Think holistic. Think viral, granular, extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. What does it really mean to evolve "virally"? If you streamline vertically, you may have to extend transparently. Do you have a plan to become holistic, mission-critical? Initech is the industry leader of customer-defined, social-network-based content. Think granular. We will synergize the standard industry term "customer-directed". Quick: do you have a vertical game plan for monitoring unplanned-for e-services? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "platforms" really mean? Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "turn-key" really mean? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: short-term.