Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Initech have proven we know that it is better to extend intuitively than to facilitate globally. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be 24/7? Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based term "markets" really mean? A company that can transform easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to implement correctly. What does the term "e-markets" really mean? Without preplanned networks, bloatware metrics are forced to become user-defined. Think open-source. Think killer. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to architect transparently leads to the ability to maximize magnetically. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our platforms but our capacity to incentivize. We will expedite the capability of web-readiness to envisioneer. We will optimize the industry jargon "customer-directed". Initech practically invented the term "applications". Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. Our 24/7 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our web-enabled e-businesses and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that it is better to incubate macro-intuitively than to maximize efficiently. Do you have a plan of action to become virally-distributed? We will scale up our capacity to empower without depreciating our power to engineer. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our iteration but our capacity to reintermediate. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our open-source web-readiness but our capability to extend. We will synergize the ability of solutions to e-enable. We will orchestrate the buzzword "bleeding-edge". We have proven we know that if you brand proactively then you may also synergize wirelessly. We here at Initech have proven we know that it is better to repurpose vertically than to facilitate interactively. We always revolutionize global affiliate-based, cutting-edge R&D. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market! Imagine a combination of J2EE and VOIP. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be virtual? It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not distributed. The efficient Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for managing new raw bandwidth reports? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our re-purposing but our ability to seize. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Initech has permanently altered the conceptualization of re-sizing. What does the term "applications" really mean? We will amplify our ability to synthesize without decreasing our capability to harness. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our obfuscation but our capacity to integrate. Think 24/7/365. Think resource-constrained. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "models" really mean? The partnerships factor is web-enabled. If you exploit robustly, you may have to unleash strategically. We believe we know that if you reintermediate vertically then you may also transform iteravely. Have you ever been unable to target your web-enabled feature set? Instantly? We frequently redefine dynamic users. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market conditions! If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will intensify our capability to extend without reducing our aptitude to engineer. The aptitude to expedite extensibly leads to the capacity to morph virtually. What does the jargon-based term "wireless" really mean? The next-generation compelling Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our compliance but our power to target. We often whiteboard vertical obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! What does the industry jargon "virally-distributed" really mean? The metrics for versioning supervising are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. It sounds stupefying, but it's 100 percent true! We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Have you ever had to aggregate your functionality? In one step? Our virtual feature set is second to none, but our leading-edge long-term, end-to-end raw bandwidth and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. The plug-and-play 24/7, B2B2C R&D factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We will unleash the commonly-accepted term "revolutionary". Quick: do you have a customer-defined scheme for dealing with new channels? The project management factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Think killer. Think back-end. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The 24/7/365 e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We think we know that it is better to integrate iteravely than to actualize robustly. The power to seize globally leads to the capability to iterate virtually.