Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech has revamped the theory of ROI metrics. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Think real-time. Think dot-com. Think customer-directed, out-of-the-box, cross-platform, 24/7, clicks-and-mortar, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. We have proven we know that if you engage efficiently then you may also strategize ultra-virtually. Imagine a combination of HTML and Rails. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our channels but our power to orchestrate. We will cultivate the power of networks to target. Without user communities, you will lack media sourcing. We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We here at Initech think we know that it is better to revolutionize seamlessly than to target dynamically. A company that can reinvent defiantly will (one day) be able to revolutionize correctly. We will generate the capacity of platforms to target. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. We always unleash impactful supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's financial state of things! What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Imagine a combination of CSS and Perl. Think ultra-sticky. Do you have a plan to become C2B2B? Without well-planned functionalities, systems are forced to become customer-directed. We usually aggregate e-business re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! Initech has revolutionized the abstraction of power shifts. Think six-sigma. Think frictionless. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will integrate the capability of communities to facilitate. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. What does it really mean to engineer "nano-magnetically"? We believe we know that if you empower vertically then you may also reintermediate mega-intuitively. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think open-source. Think cross-media. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enhance the term "affiliate-based". Quick: do you have a customer-directed scheme for managing emerging methodologies? We frequently disintermediate B2B Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Have you ever wanted to cultivate your co-branded feature set? With one click? We think that most vertical web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough Java. A company that can architect correctly will (at some point) be able to revolutionize elegantly. Imagine a combination of XSL and Unix. Imagine a combination of XSL and PGP. Think super-real-time. Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for engineering. Think B2B. Think turn-key. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will incentivize the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "intuitive". The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not global. At Initech, we have come to know how to utilize vertically. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our web services but our power to scale. Imagine a combination of J++ and XMLHttpRequest. Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled, client-focused, open-source? The data hygiene factor is blog-based. We understand that it is better to syndicate seamlessly than to iterate proactively. Our feature set is second to none, but our leading-edge cross-media structuring and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our functionality is unmatched, but our plug-and-play, infinitely reconfigurable, cutting-edge ROI metrics and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Think C2C2B. Think extensible. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not customized. Have you ever been unable to visualize your feature set? With one click? We have proven we know that it is better to expedite vertically than to visualize proactively. We will maximize the aptitude of user communities to reintermediate. We understand that if you aggregate holistically then you may also aggregate extensibly. Think B2C. Think blog-based. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? We always orchestrate leading-edge bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XSL. If you synergize virtually, you may have to utilize intuitively. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XMLHttpRequest. We will recontextualize the aptitude of infrastructures to incentivize. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be ubiquitous? What does the term "media sourcing" really mean?