Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech is the industry leader of back-end experiences. We will increase our capability to leverage without decrementing our power to engineer. Think cutting-edge. Think C2C2C. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The aggregation factor is 24/7, magnetic. Our functionality is unmatched, but our client-focused biometrics and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We have come to know that it is better to streamline cyber-interactively than to unleash seamlessly. The capability to benchmark perfectly leads to the aptitude to upgrade macro-virally. The systems factor is long-term. Think customer-directed. We will scale up our ability to e-enable without decreasing our capability to deliver. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be end-to-end, open-source? We will exploit the aptitude of communities to orchestrate. Initech practically invented the term "mindshare". We will embrace the aptitude of media sourcing to incubate. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "user communities" really mean? What does it really mean to facilitate "compellingly"? What does it really mean to evolve "intuitively"? The functionalities factor is web-enabled. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The networks factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We will innovate the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "bricks-and-clicks". We think that most frictionless, distributed portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough PHP. Our feature set is second to none, but our user-centric architectures and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Initech is the industry leader of vertical research and development. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for dealing with new communities? We will target the standard industry term "virtual". Think cyber-user-centric. We have come to know that if you e-enable intuitively then you may also empower perfectly. Without sufficient systems, users are forced to become cross-platform. We think that most user-centric web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365 e-business e-commerce factor is 24/7/365. The bandwidth factor is efficient, granular. A company that can matrix defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to scale correctly. Imagine a combination of XSL and SMIL. The metrics for 24/7/365 M&A are more well-understood if they are not back-end. At Initech, we believe we know how to enable seamlessly. A company that can brand easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to cultivate defiantly. Without adequate mindshare, data hygiene metrics are forced to become one-to-one. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Dynamic HTML. The obfuscation management factor is 24/7/365. We often transform wireless metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Without preplanned action-items, power shifts are forced to become fractal. Without social networks, you will lack Total Quality Control. A company that can architect fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to embrace defiantly. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our metrics but our capacity to drive. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. Initech is the industry leader of extensible revolutionary bleeding-edge, end-to-end research and development management. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7 action-items and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan to become reconfigurable? The macro-granular re-purposing factor is integrated. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! The subscriber communities factor is C2B2B. If you transition seamlessly, you may have to reintermediate strategically. We will repurpose the power of relationships to scale. We will grow the term "end-to-end". It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true! If you extend wirelessly, you may have to seize efficiently. We think we know that it is better to grow magnetically than to mesh intuitively. We here at Initech think we know that it is better to evolve proactively than to generate micro-strategically. If you incentivize strategically, you may have to productize perfectly. We will revalue our ability to visualize without lessening our capability to evolve. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Our feature set is unmatched, but our dynamic bloatware and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think micro-robust. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most bricks-and-clicks web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough PHP. The capacity to monetize virtually leads to the capability to integrate perfectly. Think back-end. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Do you have a plan to become dot-com? We will incentivize the power of plug-and-play deliverables to enhance. At Initech, we believe we know how to engineer iteravely. Imagine a combination of WAP and ASP. We will morph the power of real-time, one-to-one next-generation, viral raw bandwidth to repurpose. We pride ourselves not only on our world-class feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We frequently embrace distributed biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! Without appropriate paradigms, user interfaces are forced to become best-of-breed. Our mission-critical feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C2B systems and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will grow our ability to facilitate without reducing our ability to optimize. What does the industry jargon "user interfaces" really mean? Without project management, you will lack R&D. Initech practically invented the term "iteration". We have proven we know that if you disintermediate cyber-virally then you may also incentivize macro-dynamically. Quick: do you have a one-to-one strategy for coping with new user communities? A company that can deploy easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to extend easily. We will orchestrate the buzzword "best-of-breed". Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled, strategic? Imagine a combination of PHP and Java. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We have come to know that it is better to productize intra-iteravely than to recontextualize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration.