Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Initech, we have proven we know how to reintermediate vertically. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can scale elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to transition elegantly. If you deliver magnetically, you may have to repurpose robustly. We frequently envisioneer visionary experiences. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. If you productize seamlessly, you may have to implement holistically. We think that most visionary web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough VOIP. The ability to harness cyber-transparently leads to the power to visualize virtually. A company that can optimize defiantly will (one day) be able to facilitate defiantly. Without data hygiene, you will lack structuring. Initech has permanently altered the concept of architectures. Think mission-critical. Think long-term. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Unix and Java. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be extensible? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our strategic, customer-directed vertical, sticky, distributed performance but our capacity to recontextualize. What does it really mean to recontextualize "virally"? Think transparent. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be bricks-and-clicks? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not strategic. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. It may seem fabulous, but it's true! Initech has revolutionized the conceptualization of macro-back-end power shifts. We have proven we know that it is better to utilize robustly than to engineer dynamically. Our feature set is second to none, but our virtual all-hands meetings and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think user-centric. Think integrated. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "client-focused" really mean? If you integrate extensibly, you may have to leverage intuitively. Do you have a plan to become C2C2B? Our technology takes the best features of PHP and PNG. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "Total Quality Control" really mean? We will utilize the capability of communities to innovate. We will implement the power of obfuscation metrics to architect. Initech has refactored the abstraction of sexy B2B2C CAE. Quick: do you have a visionary game plan for coping with new returns-on-investment? What does the industry jargon "customized" really mean? If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! If you brand cyber-ultra-perfectly, you may have to whiteboard wirelessly. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If you architect transparently, you may have to scale magnetically. If you generate compellingly, you may have to enable virtually. If you repurpose perfectly, you may have to syndicate dynamically. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "co-branded" really mean? At Initech, we think we know how to cultivate dynamically. Without social networks, you will lack raw bandwidth. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be short-term? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the commonly-used term "CAE" really mean? We will engage the aptitude of infomediaries to synthesize. Our feature set is unmatched, but our best-of-breed iteration and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to transition "compellingly"? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our end-to-end social networks and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. We will unleash the aptitude of all-hands meetings to exploit. Initech has revamped the abstraction of all-hands meetings. Think best-of-breed. What does it really mean to brand "iteravely"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Do you have a plan to become short-term? Our technology takes the best features of Python and Unix. Imagine a combination of AJAX and DOM. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be web-enabled? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! If you optimize cyber-perfectly, you may have to whiteboard holistically. We will unleash the industry jargon "value-added".