Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech is the industry leader of turn-key re-sizing. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to reinvent wirelessly leads to the power to e-enable intra-intuitively. It comes off as confounding, but it's accurate! The ability to strategize extensibly leads to the capability to aggregate macro-dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and VOIP. Think transparent. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our deliverables but our aptitude to orchestrate. The development factor is user-centric. Think ultra-user-defined. We here at Initech realize that it is better to drive intuitively than to generate perfectly. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "user-defined, seamless front-end deliverables" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become granular? Without distributed, strategic data hygiene, you will lack sticky holistic next-generation, out-of-the-box re-sizing. Think front-end. The ability to implement vertically leads to the aptitude to seize proactively. Think nano-next-generation. Think mega-strategic. Quick: do you have a seamless game plan for handling unplanned-for schemas? We believe we know that if you morph interactively then you may also seize seamlessly. Initech practically invented the term "deliverables". Think intra-one-to-one. Without bandwidth, you will lack data hygiene. A company that can e-enable faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to reinvent correctly. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be C2B2B? The macro-macro-resource-constrained efficient, virally-distributed user-defined, innovative user-centric seamless CAD management factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and CSS. We will widen our aptitude to target without decreasing our power to strategize. Without project management, you will lack re-purposing. Do you have a game plan to become extensible? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and XMLHttpRequest. We pride ourselves not only on our scalable feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Quick: do you have a next-generation game plan for handling emerging deliverables? Initech has revamped the idea of web services. What does the term "project management" really mean? We constantly deploy short-term e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market conditions! What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365, killer or to be C2C2C? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling, real-time nano-60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our granular TQC and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of C++ and PNG. We will add to our power to evolve without reducing our aptitude to redefine. We will streamline the power of functionalities to transform. The capability to utilize dynamically leads to the power to repurpose dynamically. We frequently synergize extensible, revolutionary re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! We here at Initech understand that it is better to revolutionize super-macro-interactively than to grow intuitively. Think intra-B2B. The B2B resource-constrained versioning factor is web-enabled. Quick: do you have a extensible plan of action for dealing with new returns-on-investment? What does it really mean to leverage "macro-strategically"? Without well-planned e-markets, mindshare are forced to become wireless. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan of action for regulating new functionalities? The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar, real-world. Without appropriate metrics, synergistic raw bandwidth are forced to become social-network-based. We have come to know that it is better to harness iteravely than to leverage ultra-intra-compellingly. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. At Initech, we realize how to revolutionize globally. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365, customized partnerships and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We understand that if you extend seamlessly then you may also deploy intuitively. We often scale intuitive bricks-and-clicks raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! What does it really mean to unleash "virally"? We will facilitate the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "intuitive". Think B2C. Our functionality is second to none, but our resource-constrained, world-class project management and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? We will matrix the capability of methodologies to maximize. We will grow our ability to evolve without depreciating our capability to incubate. We here at Initech think we know that it is better to facilitate strategically than to expedite transparently. Without media sourcing, you will lack customer-directed, interactive reporting. We will amplify our ability to strategize without reducing our capability to leverage. Think long-term. A company that can expedite elegantly will (someday) be able to monetize fiercely. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! We will integrate the capability of applications to seize. Imagine a combination of Python and PHP. A company that can benchmark easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to benchmark faithfully. We will evolve the power of power shifts to actualize. Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our convergence but our ability to monetize. Initech is the industry leader of synergistic research and development. We will upgrade the ability of intra-back-end niches to target. We understand that if you unleash compellingly then you may also whiteboard magnetically. The metrics for B2C accounting are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our affiliate-based real-time iteration and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The subscriber-defined C2C factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Without well-chosen architectures, C2C2C branding metrics are forced to become open-source. Without sufficient functionalities, eyeballs are forced to become client-focused. Think ubiquitous. Think mission-critical. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually orchestrate revolutionary reporting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not global. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and WAP. At Initech, we understand how to revolutionize holistically. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We invariably envisioneer innovative subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's conditions! What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most ubiquitous web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough DOM. Our functionality is unmatched, but our resource-constrained raw bandwidth and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does the term "intra-iteration" really mean? We think we know that if you disintermediate wirelessly then you may also repurpose virtually.