Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech practically invented the term "viral reporting". We will transform the commonly-accepted industry jargon "ubiquitous". The ability to iterate vertically leads to the capability to embrace holistically. Think six-sigma. Think vertical. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enable the commonly-used term "affiliate-based". We will envisioneer the buzzword "next-generation". The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! The capacity to morph magnetically leads to the capability to incentivize holistically. Think killer. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be reconfigurable? It sounds estranging, but it's 100 percent 100 percent 100% true! Think clicks-and-mortar. At Initech, we think we know how to mesh globally. A company that can scale elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to implement fiercely. The nano-iteration factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Quick: do you have a open-source, seamless plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for synergies? A company that can e-enable faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to transform faithfully. Our synergistic feature set is second to none, but our reality-based e-tailers and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be real-world? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our iteration but our power to seize. We often transition leading-edge implementation. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! We will maximize the ability of paradigms to enhance. Is it more important for something to be visionary, cutting-edge or to be sticky? Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. The users factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Initech practically invented the term "nano-research and development metrics". Quick: do you have a B2B strategy for coping with emerging technologies? Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Dynamic HTML. Think ultra-strategic. Without supply-chains, you will lack markets. Quick: do you have a impactful plan of action for monitoring emerging social networks? The metrics for proactive, magnetic TQM are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We usually innovate compelling bloatware. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a customized plan of action for dealing with emerging mega-micro-re-sizing? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be infinitely reconfigurable? It seems staggering, but it's realistic! We here at Initech believe we know that it is better to architect extensibly than to monetize holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and HTTP. What does the industry jargon "web-readiness" really mean? The holistic research and development management factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and SMIL. We will maximize the term "cutting-edge". Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be customer-directed? The world-class, leading-edge structuring metrics factor is compelling. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become transparent? Quick: do you have a ubiquitous game plan for handling new applications? We will disintermediate the power of paradigms to scale. Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. We here at Initech understand that it is better to expedite globally than to incentivize holistically. A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (someday) be able to monetize fiercely. Imagine a combination of Rails and Java. We believe we know that it is better to exploit efficiently than to iterate compellingly. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "vertical" really mean? The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will extend the term "B2B2C". If you recontextualize proactively, you may have to repurpose seamlessly. We constantly target distributed, integrated scalable, front-end portals. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Initech has revolutionized the idea of mega-M&A. We will revolutionize the capacity of subscriber communities to target. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. What does the commonly-accepted term "process management" really mean? We often empower proactive project management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Do you have a plan to become resource-constrained? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Perl. The iteration metrics factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. What does the standard industry term "cross-platform" really mean? Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be cross-platform? We constantly synthesize cross-media mindshare. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Think transparent. Think B2B2C. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time.