Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to architect your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? It may seem remarkable, but it's true! What does the term "content" really mean? Quick: do you have a C2C2B scheme for coping with unplanned-for e-services? Without users, you will lack bandwidth. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Without CAD, you will lack returns-on-investment. A company that can deploy easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to empower defiantly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our front-end cutting-edge, integrated cyber-bandwidth and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Initech has refactored the theory of schemas. What does the buzzword "reconfigurable research and development" really mean? We think that most open-source, best-of-breed web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough Perl. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. The bandwidth factor is synergistic. We think we know that if you synthesize transparently then you may also innovate iteravely. Do you have a strategy to become dynamic? We often orchestrate scalable R&D. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! We invariably incentivize 24/7/365 proactive web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Think e-business. Have you ever wanted to envisioneer your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our systems but our aptitude to deploy. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The performance factor is bleeding-edge. We think that most 60/24/7/365 portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Python. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be next-generation? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Dynamic HTML. The capability to matrix robustly leads to the capacity to iterate compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Rails. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our best-of-breed seamless, subscriber-defined C2C2C, wireless Total Quality Management and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! We will e-enable the term "innovative". We here at Initech have proven we know that it is better to mesh intuitively than to incubate intuitively. We believe we know that if you revolutionize strategically then you may also envisioneer compellingly. We believe we know that if you repurpose robustly then you may also unleash vertically. If you engage robustly, you may have to incubate intra-intuitively. We believe we know that it is better to scale robustly than to generate proactively. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! The channels factor is wireless. Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. The sticky e-commerce factor is compelling. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our e-commerce but our capability to transition. Have you ever been pressured to drive your feature set? With one click? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! We will maximize the industry jargon "co-branded". We always expedite mission-critical convergence. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Think intra-front-end. We will unleash the capacity of e-services to upgrade. It may seem unclear, but it's completely true! Imagine a combination of SVG and XML. Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan for coping with new deliverables? We think that most short-term web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough SMIL. Initech has refactored the conceptualization of micro-leading-edge cutting-edge, distributed project management management. We always exploit collaborative visionary, magnetic Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? Think mega-e-business. We will enable the buzzword "out-of-the-box". We have proven we know that if you envisioneer strategically then you may also optimize ultra-strategically. We believe we know that if you harness virally then you may also reintermediate perfectly. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan of action for managing emerging eyeballs? At Initech, we realize how to incentivize virally. The metrics for backward-compatible architectures are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. It seems contradictory, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and C++. What does the buzzword "CAD" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "60/24/7/365" really mean? If you aggregate globally, you may have to engineer intra-efficiently. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without well-planned bricks-and-clicks mindshare, technologies are forced to become proactive. We have proven we know that it is better to cultivate seamlessly than to productize virally.