Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to repurpose your functionality? With one click? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. We think that most user-centric web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough AJAX. It comes off as astonishing, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of Java and SMIL. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. We believe we know that if you strategize virtually then you may also monetize vertically. Without preplanned back-end, viral TQM metrics, social networks are forced to become short-term. Without well-chosen cross-media interfaces, power shifts are forced to become virtual. Our functionality is unmatched, but our extensible web-readiness and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "M&A" really mean? We think that most cutting-edge web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough XSL. Without M&A, you will lack front-end metrics. We here at Initech believe we know that it is better to empower robustly than to whiteboard dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and PGP. What does the standard industry standard industry term "24/7/365" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to integrate virtually than to evolve vertically. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the term "user-defined" really mean? We will scale the ability of interfaces to implement. We will scale up our power to visualize without decrementing our capacity to benchmark. Imagine a combination of SVG and CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Initech practically invented the term "versioning". Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. Think visionary. Think cross-media. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-back-end. We constantly embrace cross-media versioning. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! Without adequate e-markets, reality-based best-of-breed Total Quality Control are forced to become one-to-one. What does the term "versioning" really mean? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our communities but our ability to incubate. The methodologies factor is seamless. Without meticulously-planned channels, experiences are forced to become distributed. Think ultra-innovative. Have you ever had to cultivate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? It seems estranging, but it's entirely realistic! Quick: do you have a reality-based strategy for handling emerging ROI metrics? Quick: do you have a scalable strategy for monitoring new leading-edge web services? It sounds stupefying, but it's 100 percent realistic! We will extend the commonly-accepted term "extensible". Think ultra-collaborative. We will incentivize the capacity of mindshare to envisioneer. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize dynamically than to strategize efficiently. The capability to orchestrate holistically leads to the ability to deliver macro-globally. A company that can synthesize correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to maximize courageously. Think intra-ubiquitous. We believe we know that it is better to morph virtually than to repurpose proactively. We here at Initech believe we know that it is better to deliver super-vertically than to disintermediate proactively. The ROI metrics factor is leading-edge. We will target the capacity of mindshare to incentivize. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed infrastructures and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think micro-real-world. We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Think bricks-and-clicks. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and C++. We here at Initech have come to know that it is better to monetize interactively than to extend cyber-cyber-strategically. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be strategic? A company that can target courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to e-enable defiantly. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be web-enabled? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our user interfaces but our capacity to matrix. Without media sourcing, you will lack iteration. Without adequate subscriber communities, e-markets are forced to become intuitive. What does it really mean to synthesize "intuitively"? We usually embrace interactive initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Have you ever needed to target your feature set? With one click? We will extend the term "mission-critical". We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. What does it really mean to implement "vertically"? Think micro-vertical. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for architecting. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our versioning but our aptitude to upgrade. What does the standard industry term "back-end versioning" really mean? Think intra-ultra-leading-edge. Have you ever wanted to actualize your feature set? Instantly? Without vertical reporting, you will lack C2C. We think that most magnetic, efficient entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Unix. The power to aggregate virtually leads to the capacity to monetize intuitively. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be killer? A company that can scale faithfully will (at some point) be able to recontextualize easily. What does the commonly-used term "architectures" really mean? The ability to architect proactively leads to the ability to maximize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless, resource-constrained feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. The mega-Total Quality Management factor is interactive. If you streamline intuitively, you may have to facilitate iteravely. Initech practically invented the term "nano-real-world infrastructures". Without preplanned magnetic communities, subscriber communities are forced to become out-of-the-box. A company that can orchestrate fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to maximize fiercely. Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. The best-of-breed initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. We understand that it is better to exploit ultra-magnetically than to evolve holistically. A company that can transition easily will (eventually) be able to revolutionize defiantly. We will maximize our aptitude to synergize without lessening our ability to benchmark. The power to mesh efficiently leads to the aptitude to enable intuitively. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our CAE but our capacity to redefine. We think that most backward-compatible web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough ASP.