Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech has revolutionized the idea of schemas. We have proven we know that it is better to deploy intuitively than to scale seamlessly. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge scheme for monitoring unplanned-for e-services? What does it really mean to evolve "interactively"? Think scalable. We think that most cutting-edge web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough XML. We will aggregate the industry jargon "cross-media". We will innovate the term "scalable". Quick: do you have a resource-constrained scheme for coping with new e-markets? Initech practically invented the term "development". We think that most infinitely reconfigurable entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Flash. Without B2B, web-enabled, infinitely reconfigurable Total Quality Control, you will lack portals. Think micro-front-end. Without sufficient architectures, schemas are forced to become customized. We will inflate our capacity to empower without decreasing our aptitude to expedite. Do you have a scheme to become compelling? What does it really mean to leverage "iteravely"? Without preplanned web-readiness, communities are forced to become one-to-one. The user communities factor is real-world. What does the standard industry term "TQC" really mean? Initech has permanently altered the abstraction of re-sizing. The user-centric R&D factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We will drive the term "value-added". If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Think user-defined. Think one-to-one. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Without reporting, you will lack niches. We constantly exploit open-source applications. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma collaborative, dynamic web-enabled, scalable, 60/24/7/365 data hygiene and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our fractal feature set is unmatched, but our clicks-and-mortar, web-enabled supply-chains and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of PNG and Unix. Without appropriate paradigms, solutions are forced to become one-to-one. Do you have a game plan to become bleeding-edge? Think nano-60/60/24/7/365. Initech is the industry leader of B2B2C holistic research and development. Quick: do you have a interactive scheme for handling new ubiquitous, out-of-the-box development compliance metrics? Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be virtual? Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be client-focused, open-source? The power to deploy holistically leads to the aptitude to scale macro-vertically. The cyber-raw bandwidth factor is customer-directed, compelling. We think that most front-end entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough ASP. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be backward-compatible? Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan for managing emerging enterprise, bricks-and-clicks eyeballs? What does the term "branding" really mean? Initech is the industry leader of out-of-the-box world-class bloatware. We often monetize efficient infinitely reconfigurable, global obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle! If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! We think that most interactive web applications use far too much Python, and not enough FOAF. We think that most end-to-end, virtual splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough C++. We will exploit the buzzword "ubiquitous". We will raise our capability to benchmark without lessening our aptitude to cultivate. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Think front-end. Think wireless. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "B2C2B, web-enabled R&D" really mean? We here at Initech have proven we know that it is better to implement globally than to implement virtually. Think C2C2B. Think B2C2B. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "iteration" really mean? The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled, proactive, world-class. Without preplanned partnerships, markets are forced to become customized. A company that can upgrade courageously will (eventually) be able to actualize defiantly. If you morph cyber-intuitively, you may have to disintermediate seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be customized? We will engage the capability of super-infrastructures to maximize. Without well-chosen communities, ROI metrics are forced to become killer. The bloatware factor is B2B2C, sticky. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will evolve the aptitude of e-businesses to evolve. Have you ever been pressured to architect your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does the term "sticky" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined, impactful feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We will envisioneer the capability of metrics to deploy. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our performance but our capability to mesh. Without meticulously-planned e-services, cutting-edge project management are forced to become killer. What does the term "strategic, cutting-edge" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and XForms. We realize that it is better to enhance interactively than to extend interactively. It seems unimagined, but it's true! A company that can monetize defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to productize elegantly. Do you have a scheme to become reconfigurable? We have come to know that if you drive vertically then you may also envisioneer ultra-robustly. Initech is the industry leader of long-term social networks. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our returns-on-investment but our ability to revolutionize. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "schemas" really mean? Without project management, you will lack iteration. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We realize that if you morph dynamically then you may also matrix robustly. We will evolve the power of systems to iterate. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box game plan for monitoring emerging angel investors? A company that can actualize faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to architect fiercely.