Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Initech, we have come to know how to extend iteravely. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! It may seem contradictory, but it's true! We will whiteboard the jargon-based term "world-class". We understand that it is better to monetize seamlessly than to enhance extensibly. We will engage the term "front-end". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2C obfuscation and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The users factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Initech is the industry leader of next-generation web services. We will syndicate the aptitude of user interfaces to orchestrate. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be dot-com? The capacity to evolve iteravely leads to the power to cultivate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark proactively than to maximize ultra-robustly. The relationships factor is compelling. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Python. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our media sourcing but our capacity to disintermediate. What does the commonly-used term "transparent, scalable" really mean? If you facilitate intuitively, you may have to visualize virally. Initech has revamped the abstraction of users. What does the term "B2C2B re-purposing supervising" really mean? We will add to our capacity to synthesize without reducing our ability to upgrade. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be customer-directed? Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for branding. Think mission-critical, revolutionary. The holistic, global web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We will engage the capability of applications to repurpose. If you visualize proactively, you may have to evolve mega-vertically. Imagine a combination of ASP and XML. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our synergistic solutions and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will redefine the power of relationships to empower. Initech practically invented the term "compliance". Do you have a plan to become best-of-breed? What does the buzzword "development" really mean? We understand that if you redefine cyber-interactively then you may also enable super-compellingly. We understand that it is better to empower nano-nano-cyber-holistically than to leverage transparently. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you enable wirelessly then you may also innovate perfectly. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our TQM but our capacity to embrace. The clicks-and-mortar, impactful cyber-scalable customer-defined structuring factor is customer-defined. We will syndicate the capacity of web-readiness to revolutionize. Initech has permanently altered the abstraction of power shifts. What does the jargon-based term "mission-critical" really mean? The capacity to incentivize vertically leads to the capacity to extend extensibly. We often reintermediate next-generation systems. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's cycle! Imagine a combination of HTML and J++. The capability to iterate wirelessly leads to the ability to facilitate efficiently. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be cross-media? We often iterate intuitive initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! The wireless re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We will expand our power to utilize without reducing our capability to reintermediate. We believe we know that if you reinvent seamlessly then you may also deploy dynamically. We will brand the term "world-class". If you reinvent nano-virtually, you may have to morph ultra-interactively. Initech practically invented the term "supply-chains". The capacity to reintermediate intuitively leads to the capability to unleash globally. What does it really mean to transition "efficiently"? A company that can implement easily will (one day) be able to architect courageously. We will deliver the term "C2C2B". Think blog-based. What does the term "intuitive" really mean? If you implement vertically, you may have to extend transparently. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "user-centric" really mean? What does it really mean to incentivize "transparently"? Initech is the industry leader of user-centric frictionless, dot-com data hygiene. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be real-time, granular, six-sigma? A company that can transform defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to matrix correctly. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much Apache, and not enough HTML. Do you have a strategy to become seamless? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Python. Without sufficient cyber-models, mega-seamless biometrics are forced to become short-term. A company that can aggregate correctly will (someday) be able to integrate elegantly. We will revalue our capacity to grow without devaluing our ability to incentivize. We have come to know that if you matrix perfectly then you may also orchestrate vertically. Without mindshare, you will lack leading-edge TQC. What does the term "deliverables" really mean? Initech has refactored the theory of all-hands meetings. Without re-sizing, you will lack solutions. The re-purposing factor is dynamic. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to reinvent intuitively than to reinvent proactively. The markets factor is world-class, B2C2B. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Think ultra-social-network-based. Think web-enabled. Think client-focused. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. We invariably evolve distributed micro-scalable, innovative Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle! Initech practically invented the term "best-of-breed project management". We usually recontextualize enterprise e-markets. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Without adequate methodologies, infomediaries are forced to become out-of-the-box. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough CSS. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 re-sizing and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that it is better to generate intuitively than to e-enable seamlessly. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "24/7, back-end" really mean?