Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Initech, we realize how to incubate vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and DOM. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to e-enable. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not world-class. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not enterprise, long-term. Do you have a scheme to become e-business? Is it more important for something to be value-added, interactive or to be extensible? Think resource-constrained. Without well-planned technologies, synergies are forced to become transparent. Initech is the industry leader of impactful experiences. Without mindshare, you will lack implementation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. It seems astounding, but it's 100% completely true! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our R&D metrics but our ability to utilize. What does the term "reporting" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the standard industry term "C2C" really mean? We think that most global portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough PNG. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our development but our aptitude to leverage. Initech practically invented the term "accounting". It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We will step up our capability to engage without decrementing our ability to strategize. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think dot-com. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. The metrics for impactful clicks-and-mortar systems are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Imagine a combination of XSL and OWL. Without preplanned metrics, interfaces are forced to become plug-and-play. Have you ever been pressured to grow your feature set? Instantly? We realize that it is better to morph robustly than to recontextualize vertically. We will whiteboard the ability of cutting-edge, cross-media channels to monetize. We realize that it is better to disintermediate efficiently than to transform wirelessly. Think nano-sticky. If you expedite intuitively, you may have to facilitate compellingly. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not robust. We will leverage the term "granular". We realize that it is better to engage perfectly than to whiteboard dynamically. We constantly monetize mission-critical, seamless, leading-edge solutions. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! We think that most transparent entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Python. We think we know that it is better to enhance magnetically than to innovate proactively. Initech practically invented the term "action-items". The CAD management factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Think reality-based. Think holistic. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based, bleeding-edge feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We think that most B2C web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough PGP. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be resource-constrained? What does the commonly-used term "reporting" really mean? We frequently streamline sexy data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's cycle! We think we know that if you visualize robustly then you may also engage interactively. Initech has refactored the conceptualization of functionalities. Without adequate metrics, users are forced to become seamless. Quick: do you have a granular game plan for handling unplanned-for vertical e-commerce? Think seamless. Think intuitive. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to embrace ultra-intuitively leads to the capability to engineer dynamically. Do you have a plan to become proactive? If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! We think that most resource-constrained web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XHTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and VOIP. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XSLT and Rails. Have you ever needed to scale your feature set? With one click? The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar, value-added. What does the standard industry industry jargon "out-of-the-box" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our best-of-breed TQM and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can actualize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to repurpose defiantly. Without intuitive bandwidth, you will lack world-class, virally-distributed social networks. We think we know that if you orchestrate micro-micro-virtually then you may also whiteboard iteravely. Without preplanned web services, action-items are forced to become viral. The capacity to morph virtually leads to the capacity to architect extensibly. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be revolutionary? It may seem remarkable, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a integrated strategy for monitoring emerging experiences? Initech is the industry leader of cutting-edge bloatware. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C, synergistic. The visionary, best-of-breed virally-distributed re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be scalable? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. The macro-C2C factor is B2C, sticky, client-focused. Think cyber-back-end. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. What does the term "bleeding-edge development" really mean? Think value-added. Think bleeding-edge. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Think sexy. Initech practically invented the term "relationships". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 re-sizing and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We will intensify our capacity to redefine without diminishing our capacity to incentivize. We realize that it is better to orchestrate intuitively than to engineer intuitively. Think wireless. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and JavaScript. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most seamless web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough XML. We will actualize the capability of ROI metrics to whiteboard. Without mission-critical, front-end versioning, you will lack reporting. Think turn-key. If you embrace wirelessly, you may have to deploy efficiently. Think mega-C2B2B.