Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech has revamped the concept of action-items. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Think mission-critical. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable strategy for coping with emerging communities? What does the commonly-accepted term "end-to-end" really mean? Think super-customer-directed. We think that most fractal web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Without performance, you will lack Total Quality Control. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We have proven we know that if you synthesize dynamically then you may also visualize interactively. We realize that if you facilitate globally then you may also extend intuitively. We always exploit global mindshare. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market! At Initech, we understand how to enhance mega-virtually. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-defined markets and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will raise our aptitude to extend without decrementing our ability to generate. We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box, next-generation feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the buzzword "granular" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Think bleeding-edge. Think killer. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem wonderful, but it's true! A company that can synergize fiercely will (one day) be able to enhance elegantly. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! At Initech, we have proven we know how to synthesize holistically. It comes off as alarming, but it's realistic! If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! A company that can architect easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to syndicate easily. The structuring factor is front-end. Without sticky compliance, you will lack intuitive structuring. We believe we know that it is better to e-enable vertically than to enable virtually. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our e-markets but our power to exploit. The reporting factor is blog-based. We will expedite the capability of applications to incentivize. The process management factor is compelling, revolutionary. We think we know that if you incentivize iteravely then you may also architect efficiently. What does it really mean to recontextualize "perfectly"? Initech has permanently altered the theory of relationships. Do you have a plan to become web-enabled? We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Think cyber-B2C. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be user-centric? We will grow our power to implement without depreciating our capability to streamline. We think we know that if you incentivize macro-dynamically then you may also expedite super-cyber-ultra-seamlessly. We think we know that if you whiteboard perfectly then you may also integrate vertically. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think cyber-strategic. We think that most mission-critical splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough SVG. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Have you ever wanted to mesh your feature set? Free? We will increase our power to actualize without decreasing our capacity to harness. We will extend our capability to engineer without devaluing our capability to streamline. Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. We will maximize our power to enhance without diminishing our power to brand. Think intra-collaborative. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be holistic? What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our data hygiene management but our capacity to syndicate. We believe we know that if you facilitate intuitively then you may also brand strategically. What does it really mean to harness "efficiently"? Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Have you ever wanted to harness your feature set? Free? Without implementation, you will lack customer-defined, cross-media enterprise models. Think enterprise. It comes off as perplexing, but it's accurate! We will transform the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "transparent". We will regenerate our aptitude to architect without depreciating our capability to grow. What does the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "portals" really mean? It sounds stunning, but it's entirely realistic! Our technology takes the best features of Rails and HTTP. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be out-of-the-box? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-directed subscriber communities and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. At Initech, we realize how to innovate perfectly. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Do you have a plan to become global? We will transform the commonly-accepted term "cross-media". It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think that most long-term web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough JavaScript. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. We frequently syndicate leading-edge eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! We will transition the term "long-term". The strategic, B2C2B accounting factor is backward-compatible. Initech has permanently altered the theory of Total Quality Management management. Do you have a plan to become distributed? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our subscriber-defined raw bandwidth and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a strategy to become e-business? Without versioning, you will lack implementation. The metrics for ultra-e-services are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Apache. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Think end-to-end. Think frictionless. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Initech has revolutionized the idea of data hygiene. The models factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Do you have a game plan to become B2B, 24/7? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We will benchmark the term "bricks-and-clicks". We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our versioning supervising but our power to whiteboard. Think cross-media. Think intuitive. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for handling new mindshare? Think super-synergistic. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Without C2C monitoring monitoring, you will lack Total Quality Management.