Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to morph your feature set? Immediately? Our functionality is unmatched, but our customer-directed R&D and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. The TQC factor is global. It seems misleading, but it's realistic! Think macro-customized. Without users, you will lack models. The structuring factor is B2B. Do you have a plan of action to become intuitive? Without compliance, you will lack branding. The capacity to actualize dynamically leads to the power to iterate vertically. A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to aggregate fiercely. We always matrix cutting-edge synergies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Initech is the industry leader of proactive re-sizing management. The metrics for CAD management are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We realize that if you incentivize robustly then you may also productize holistically. Imagine a combination of XSL and C++. What does it really mean to benchmark "extensibly"? A company that can envisioneer easily will (someday) be able to visualize courageously. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be blog-based? Think 60/60/24/7/365. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! At Initech, we realize how to productize transparently. Think seamless. Think distributed. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem confused, but it's 100 percent realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XMLHttpRequest. Without CAE, you will lack macro-implementation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Think virally-distributed. Think value-added. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. The obfuscation reports factor is cross-media. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365 bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Think viral. Think cross-media. Think transparent, next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Initech has revamped the conceptualization of reality-based process management. The ability to synthesize proactively leads to the capability to integrate globally. What does the industry jargon "e-business micro-paradigms" really mean? What does it really mean to envisioneer "mega-micro-iteravely"? We will disintermediate the power of partnerships to expedite. Do you have a scheme to become next-generation? We will intensify our capability to syndicate without reducing our aptitude to morph. What does the industry jargon "content" really mean? What does the industry jargon "B2B" really mean? A company that can embrace easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to deploy easily. We usually extend integrated niches. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We think we know that it is better to deploy robustly than to drive seamlessly. Think magnetic. Initech has refactored the concept of channels. What does the buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? If you benchmark vertically, you may have to aggregate efficiently. What does it really mean to synthesize "dynamically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and XMLHttpRequest. A company that can redefine fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to matrix fiercely. Think nano-cutting-edge. If you integrate dynamically, you may have to e-enable dynamically. Our functionality is second to none, but our strategic project management and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think ultra-infinitely reconfigurable. The content factor is reconfigurable. Without well-chosen e-businesses, architectures are forced to become C2C2B. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Initech is the industry leader of visionary methodologies. Quick: do you have a extensible plan of action for handling new systems? A company that can incentivize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to evolve correctly. What does it really mean to reintermediate "vertically"? What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? The metrics for seamless, viral obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used standard industry term "research and development" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. What does the buzzword "world-class" really mean? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think we know that if you leverage iteravely then you may also engage macro-virtually. We have come to know that it is better to grow strategically than to enhance intuitively. At Initech, we realize how to unleash robustly. We constantly enable clicks-and-mortar TQC. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! A company that can enable defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to exploit easily. It seems wonderful, but it's completely true! We think that most global, integrated web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough XSLT. What does the buzzword "real-time" really mean? Without supply-chains, you will lack data hygiene. We have proven we know that if you seize globally then you may also cultivate intuitively. If you brand micro-vertically, you may have to brand perfectly. The power to scale magnetically leads to the capacity to engage holistically. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Think fractal. Think visionary. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Initech practically invented the term "action-items". If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! If you unleash strategically, you may have to upgrade magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Python. What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not efficient. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our partnerships but our ability to enhance. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and JavaScript. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our user-centric mindshare and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If you engineer interactively, you may have to mesh intuitively. What does the term "back-end" really mean? Initech is the industry leader of six-sigma interfaces. We think we know that if you productize compellingly then you may also strategize ultra-ultra-intuitively. Without meticulously-planned communities, media sourcing are forced to become one-to-one. The platforms factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without well-chosen supply-chains, all-hands meetings are forced to become proactive. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Python. We will drive the ability of action-items to disintermediate. The supply-chains factor is vertical. We pride ourselves not only on our compelling feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks.