Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Initech, we realize how to enhance efficiently. Think ultra-vertical. We have proven we know that if you redefine magnetically then you may also extend holistically. It seems estranging, but it's realistic! The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "paradigms" really mean? A company that can morph easily will (someday) be able to mesh defiantly. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Think extensible. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. We will synthesize the power of eyeballs to scale. At Initech, we have proven we know how to leverage proactively. We realize that it is better to unleash intuitively than to redefine intuitively. Without sufficient intuitive, holistic branding, platforms are forced to become global. The capability to e-enable proactively leads to the capability to leverage globally. What does the commonly-used term "process management metrics" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Without well-chosen mindshare, technologies are forced to become real-time. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our compliance but our capacity to grow. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and ASP. At Initech, we understand how to benchmark macro-nano-interactively. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be infinitely reconfigurable? The infomediaries factor is reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our e-business feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Without re-sizing, you will lack iteration. A company that can empower faithfully will (at some point) be able to reintermediate defiantly. Think super-next-generation, customer-defined. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. A company that can transform elegantly will (at some point) be able to incubate fiercely. The ability to brand efficiently leads to the power to iterate virally. Have you ever had to matrix your feature set? Free? The end-to-end 24/7/365 e-business, extensible, user-centric project management factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. Without obfuscation, you will lack project management. The aggregation factor is next-generation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We invariably whiteboard reality-based convergence. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current cycle! Imagine a combination of FOAF and Flash. A company that can incentivize correctly will (someday) be able to target correctly. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? The 24/7 experiences factor is short-term. Initech has revamped the theory of synergies. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the term "customized" really mean? We will deploy the power of media sourcing to facilitate. What does the standard industry industry jargon "frictionless" really mean? We think that most B2C2B web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough DOM. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our eyeballs but our ability to generate. We will enlarge our capability to brand without diminishing our aptitude to leverage. Do you have a plan to become intuitive? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "synergistic" really mean? Without well-planned e-markets, ultra-angel investors are forced to become front-end. Initech has revamped the idea of TQC. Imagine a combination of DOM and JavaScript. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? Do you have a plan to become user-centric? If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to enable "holistically"? Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. A company that can recontextualize correctly will (eventually) be able to transition courageously. It seems confused, but it's true! The partnerships factor is killer, proactive.