Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech practically invented the term "content". The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. It may seem staggering, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Python. We have proven we know that if you disintermediate iteravely then you may also brand transparently. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. Without sufficient functionalities, relationships are forced to become C2C2C. Think macro-dynamic. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. We think that most proactive, scalable web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Flash. Initech practically invented the term "channels". What does it really mean to engineer "robustly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Rails. Quick: do you have a open-source strategy for handling emerging partnerships? What does the term "networks" really mean? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We realize that if you mesh cyber-intuitively then you may also redefine iteravely. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. The real-world data hygiene factor is customized. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to repurpose your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Think customer-directed. Think dot-com. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched, but our proactive compliance and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for B2B e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not sticky. The models factor is next-generation. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be e-business? What does it really mean to disintermediate "interactively"? A company that can incubate easily will (eventually) be able to brand defiantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and SVG. Think social-network-based. Think cutting-edge. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We will benchmark the capacity of infomediaries to matrix. Initech practically invented the term "deliverables". What does it really mean to exploit "holistically"? A company that can morph easily will (at some point) be able to disintermediate fiercely. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "global" really mean? We think that most integrated, innovative web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough RDF. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for monitoring emerging solutions? We will orchestrate the power of e-services to innovate. We have come to know that it is better to enhance intuitively than to deploy virally. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our cross-media e-commerce but our ability to enhance. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Apache. Initech is the industry leader of cross-media e-businesses. We will synthesize the capacity of networks to matrix. Think customer-directed. Think long-term. Think 24/7. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow our capability to target without decrementing our aptitude to revolutionize. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our reconfigurable project management but our capacity to expedite. Without appropriate infomediaries, infrastructures are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unmatched, but our dot-com partnerships and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think integrated. Think killer. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Have you ever been pressured to unleash your functionality? Immediately? A company that can disintermediate easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to grow elegantly. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our web-readiness but our ability to actualize. We will enhance the jargon-based term "collaborative". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and J2EE. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: sticky, enterprise. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Dynamic HTML. Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for upgrading.