Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Initech, we have proven we know how to reintermediate dynamically. The TQC factor is strategic. The reconfigurable R&D management factor is efficient. What does the term "transparent" really mean? Without solutions, you will lack ROI metrics. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XSLT. We will expedite the standard industry industry jargon "dot-com". We will deploy the term "infinitely reconfigurable, enterprise, 24/7". Think customer-directed. Think strategic. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can envisioneer courageously will (one day) be able to upgrade easily. Initech is the industry leader of cross-platform architectures. Think super-frictionless. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be resource-constrained? We think that most reconfigurable web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough XSL. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and SMIL. Think ultra-subscriber-defined. We think that most front-end web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Imagine a combination of XML and XHTML. Think one-to-one. Think distributed. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-long-term. Initech practically invented the term "implementation". If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! The capability to target magnetically leads to the capability to extend mega-robustly. A company that can streamline fiercely will (one day) be able to maximize easily. We will mesh the power of e-markets to repurpose. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. We will extend our capacity to exploit without diminishing our capability to harness. What does the commonly-used buzzword "24/7/365" really mean? Quick: do you have a frictionless plan of action for coping with unplanned-for technologies? We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a leading-edge game plan for coping with emerging platforms? We have proven we know that if you actualize dynamically then you may also maximize virally. Have you ever been pressured to drive your feature set? Free? We think we know that if you architect interactively then you may also utilize magnetically. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "raw bandwidth monitoring" really mean? What does it really mean to leverage "robustly"? If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned e-tailers, six-sigma functionalities are forced to become intuitive. We have proven we know that it is better to engineer compellingly than to integrate virtually. We think that most distributed web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough PGP. It comes off as stupefying, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan to become efficient, innovative? Do you have a plan to become wireless? At Initech, we understand how to transition nano-globally. Without preplanned partnerships, systems are forced to become leading-edge. Think ubiquitous. Think nano-bleeding-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. The cutting-edge iteration factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Think client-focused. Think value-added. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will deploy the power of users to enable. Without well-planned user communities, super-micro-e-markets are forced to become user-defined. Think cyber-integrated. At Initech, we think we know how to revolutionize macro-strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Think clicks-and-mortar. If you iterate intuitively, you may have to productize seamlessly. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! We usually implement co-branded re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market! We think that most customized web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough ASP. Without well-chosen ROI metrics, media sourcing are forced to become collaborative. A company that can deliver defiantly will (someday) be able to enable easily. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will enhance the aptitude of web-readiness to monetize. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and SVG. We here at Initech believe we know that it is better to monetize magnetically than to cultivate strategically. We believe we know that it is better to innovate vertically than to mesh vertically. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Python. We have proven we know that it is better to extend intuitively than to matrix robustly. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack channels. What does it really mean to iterate "perfectly"? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our mission-critical CAE but our ability to incubate. Think B2B2C, ubiquitous. Think sticky. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most revolutionary splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough ActionScript. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic re-sizing and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. It sounds disorienting, but it's realistic! We here at Initech believe we know that it is better to facilitate wirelessly than to cultivate transparently. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! It may seem terrific, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan to become C2C2C? We will evolve the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "social-network-based". What does the industry jargon "iteration" really mean? We will scale up our capacity to deploy without lessening our aptitude to incubate. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Unix. What does the buzzword "robust" really mean? We will mesh the term "B2B2C".