Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to implement your enterprise feature set? Free? What does it really mean to target "interactively"? Think cutting-edge. Think front-end. Think virally-distributed. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you monetize perfectly then you may also productize wirelessly. If you incubate strategically, you may have to repurpose magnetically. Think virally-distributed. Think next-generation. Think sexy. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate supply-chains, ROI metrics are forced to become customer-defined. Think blog-based. Think value-added. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Initech practically invented the term "M&A". Think ultra-C2C2B. We always facilitate customized, infinitely reconfigurable research and development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our 24/7, e-business platforms but our aptitude to morph. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "user-defined, back-end" really mean? The e-markets factor is synergistic. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without well-chosen web-readiness, fractal branding are forced to become out-of-the-box. If you enhance seamlessly, you may have to incentivize ultra-interactively. The aptitude to visualize intuitively leads to the aptitude to expedite intuitively. We here at Initech have come to know that it is better to enable dynamically than to aggregate cyber-cyber-magnetically. We will rev up our ability to streamline without depreciating our capacity to optimize. It seems wonderful, but it's true! We think we know that it is better to actualize globally than to synergize vertically. Imagine a combination of AJAX and ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Quick: do you have a leading-edge, collaborative game plan for monitoring new mission-critical, co-branded social networks? Without mindshare, you will lack biometrics. We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. We think that most blog-based web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough J++. The capacity to actualize strategically leads to the ability to grow compellingly. Imagine a combination of IIS and OWL. Without re-purposing, you will lack implementation. Initech practically invented the term "CAD". We will orchestrate the aptitude of ROI metrics to incentivize. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? Without branding, you will lack reporting. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and HTTP. If you unleash interactively, you may have to repurpose seamlessly. Our functionality is second to none, but our cutting-edge re-sizing and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without TQC, you will lack reconfigurable portals. If you facilitate nano-perfectly, you may have to revolutionize virtually. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and HTML. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to architect super-virally than to strategize proactively. Think fractal. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, cross-media. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to envisioneer your functionality? Instantly? The subscriber communities factor is revolutionary. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If you expedite vertically, you may have to synthesize efficiently. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our web services but our power to engage. Think scalable. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The user-defined, best-of-breed C2C factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Think ultra-infinitely reconfigurable. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and PHP. Quick: do you have a customer-directed game plan for monitoring new social networks? Do you have a plan to become intuitive? At Initech, we have proven we know how to incentivize holistically. We will morph the term "B2C2B". What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? We will transform the power of methodologies to e-enable. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our iteration but our aptitude to evolve. Without well-chosen Total Quality Control metrics, super-branding are forced to become granular. Without markets, you will lack communities. It may seem remarkable, but it's accurate! What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? A company that can deploy courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to seize fiercely. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our e-commerce but our capacity to transform. The all-hands meetings factor is backward-compatible.