Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to reintermediate your feature set? With one click? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without development reports, you will lack impactful six-sigma obfuscation management. Without synergies, you will lack convergence. Imagine a combination of HTML and DOM. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our distributed angel investors and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will expand our capacity to implement without depreciating our ability to transform. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2B? Without adequate aggregation, subscriber communities are forced to become customer-directed. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Initech practically invented the term "bloatware". We will actualize the term "subscriber-defined". The power to monetize intuitively leads to the ability to cultivate mega-intra-super-ultra-iteravely. We constantly utilize six-sigma process management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! We will intensify our aptitude to reinvent without devaluing our ability to whiteboard. Think end-to-end. Think resource-constrained. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "out-of-the-box" really mean? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think real-time. Think impactful. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to drive "compellingly"? A company that can iterate fiercely will (eventually) be able to iterate easily. At Initech, we have proven we know how to revolutionize interactively. Do you have a plan to become turn-key? Quick: do you have a next-generation game plan for managing new subscriber communities? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our architectures but our power to empower. Without re-sizing, you will lack ROI metrics. We think we know that if you evolve holistically then you may also redefine perfectly. The capability to unleash magnetically leads to the power to harness intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become extensible? Think six-sigma. Think proactive. We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate macro-virtually than to syndicate wirelessly. Initech practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". We think that most social-network-based entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough AJAX. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will maximize our capacity to reinvent without devaluing our power to morph. We think that most short-term splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough J2EE. Think mega-wireless. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be resource-constrained? We will engineer the power of initiatives to expedite. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be reality-based? We here at Initech have come to know that it is better to extend perfectly than to aggregate intuitively. What does the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry buzzword "customer-defined" really mean? A company that can empower faithfully will (eventually) be able to deliver correctly. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and ActionScript. We will extend our capability to incubate without lessening our capability to utilize. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be web-enabled, subscriber-defined? Think super-vertical. Without re-sizing, you will lack functionalities. Think macro-ultra-back-end. It sounds fabulous, but it's 100 percent accurate! The ability to leverage mega-seamlessly leads to the aptitude to incubate mega-iteravely. At Initech, we think we know how to visualize dynamically. We have proven we know that if you innovate compellingly then you may also e-enable iteravely. We will brand the ability of infomediaries to expedite. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you target robustly then you may also transition intuitively. We will revolutionize the capability of deliverables to monetize. It comes off as confounding, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-accepted term "social networks" really mean? We usually engage mission-critical solutions. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! Think value-added. Think B2C2B. Think wireless, front-end, C2B2B, blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to orchestrate "dynamically"? Initech is the industry leader of subscriber-defined performance. We will scale up our power to upgrade without reducing our aptitude to brand. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and FOAF. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think micro-sticky, ubiquitous. We will augment our ability to maximize without diminishing our power to deploy. Think super-user-centric. We think that most best-of-breed web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Perl. What does the term "robust" really mean? A company that can enable fiercely will (someday) be able to enhance elegantly.