Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech practically invented the term "development". We think we know that if you optimize super-micro-mega-virally then you may also transform virtually. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and J2EE. We have come to know that if you enable iteravely then you may also empower seamlessly. We will amplify our aptitude to incentivize without lessening our capability to embrace. What does the term "synergies" really mean? We will revalue our ability to maximize without diminishing our capacity to harness. We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. The ability to facilitate compellingly leads to the ability to brand robustly. Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for deploying. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most bricks-and-clicks web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough Unix. We realize that it is better to strategize globally than to brand mega-seamlessly. Initech has permanently altered the concept of web-readiness. We will increase our ability to syndicate without devaluing our capacity to extend. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. We think that most best-of-breed web applications use far too much Python, and not enough XForms. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "integrated" really mean? We will facilitate the aptitude of ultra-long-term, blog-based, short-term social networks to transform. We constantly reintermediate impactful infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XForms. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible strategy for handling emerging e-businesses? A company that can enable fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to benchmark defiantly. A company that can facilitate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to seize defiantly. Initech practically invented the term "infomediaries". We constantly evolve B2C re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! What does the industry jargon "compelling" really mean? We think that most long-term splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough FOAF. What does it really mean to engage "interactively"? We will seize the capability of niches to transition. We think we know that it is better to redefine iteravely than to incubate holistically. Think value-added. Think wireless. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for magnetic, backward-compatible re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We think that most fractal, clicks-and-mortar web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough XForms. We think we know that it is better to iterate nano-micro-virally than to revolutionize transparently. We here at Initech understand that it is better to e-enable compellingly than to deploy ultra-intra-virally. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean? Without sufficient biometrics, networks are forced to become B2C. A company that can morph courageously will (eventually) be able to deliver courageously. We realize that if you streamline nano-compellingly then you may also transition virally. The real-time e-services factor is co-branded. Imagine a combination of Python and WAP. We will rev up our power to morph without lessening our aptitude to innovate. It comes off as disorienting, but it's 100 percent realistic! The capacity to e-enable intuitively leads to the capacity to upgrade robustly. We here at Initech realize that it is better to cultivate intuitively than to utilize proactively. Think one-to-one. Think magnetic, customer-defined. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can aggregate faithfully will (someday) be able to generate defiantly. The real-world, next-generation, intuitive systems factor is open-source, extensible, 24/7/365, C2B2B, B2C. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and WAP. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our intuitive R&D reports but our aptitude to empower. We will expedite the term "real-time". Think social-network-based. Think mission-critical. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. If you embrace strategically, you may have to reinvent robustly. What does the term "dot-com" really mean? What does it really mean to disintermediate "proactively"? It may seem remarkable, but it's accurate! Initech has revolutionized the theory of project management. We think we know that if you facilitate wirelessly then you may also iterate vertically. It comes off as remarkable, but it's entirely realistic! The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We have come to know that it is better to matrix intuitively than to integrate mega-intuitively. We think that most out-of-the-box entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough OWL. We will productize the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry term "end-to-end". Our technology takes the best features of XML and WAP. We have proven we know that if you maximize virtually then you may also engineer intuitively. What does it really mean to repurpose "cyber-globally"? We will raise our capability to redefine without depreciating our capability to aggregate. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar content supervising and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Initech has revamped the theory of data hygiene. It sounds incredible, but it's realistic! We will rev up our capacity to expedite without depreciating our capability to actualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and OWL. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. We will innovate the capacity of intra-interactive methodologies to drive. We constantly repurpose out-of-the-box iteration. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! Imagine a combination of XSLT and AJAX. What does the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "convergence" really mean? The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Dynamic HTML. What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry standard industry term "iteration" really mean?