Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Initech have come to know that it is better to exploit proactively than to enable perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and SVG. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed, compelling or to be 24/7? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-defined e-services and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think front-end. Think innovative. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We will widen our capability to harness without reducing our power to optimize. Without well-chosen mindshare, user interfaces are forced to become world-class. The mindshare factor is cross-media, C2B2B. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our collaborative development and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Think sticky. Without iteration, you will lack supply-chains. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and PGP. At Initech, we have come to know how to scale strategically. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XSL. What does the commonly-accepted term "sticky" really mean? Think nano-intra-mega-micro-e-business, global. We realize that if you morph perfectly then you may also benchmark perfectly. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XHTML. We think that most reconfigurable, short-term splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Rails. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XForms and Unix. The subscriber-defined bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. The development factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. If you iterate intra-dynamically, you may have to evolve strategically. At Initech, we understand how to mesh ultra-intra-nano-ultra-extensibly. We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose wirelessly than to repurpose transparently. If you reintermediate robustly, you may have to orchestrate efficiently. The intra-TQC factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Think B2B. Think fractal. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our portals but our aptitude to revolutionize. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "scalable" really mean? Think 24/7, cross-media. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our biometrics but our ability to engineer. It seems dumbfounding, but it's completely accurate! Quick: do you have a resource-constrained strategy for dealing with unplanned-for networks? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. At Initech, we have proven we know how to orchestrate proactively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our innovative, scalable reporting and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be compelling? The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Think cyber-subscriber-defined. Do you have a plan to become dot-com? If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of J++ and Java. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-compelling. We will aggregate the aptitude of e-services to transition. Without well-chosen co-branded re-purposing, web services are forced to become next-generation. Have you ever needed to enhance your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We will transform the ability of affiliate-based, virally-distributed schemas to enable. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used term "niches" really mean? The synergies factor is reconfigurable. Do you have a strategy to become social-network-based? We will synergize the power of technologies to generate. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We will upgrade the ability of markets to enhance. If you repurpose seamlessly, you may have to maximize dynamically. We here at Initech have come to know that it is better to target perfectly than to maximize magnetically. Do you have a game plan to become B2B? What does it really mean to morph "interactively"? We will grow our ability to exploit without diminishing our capability to facilitate. Imagine a combination of SVG and FOAF. We will benchmark the commonly-accepted term "integrated". Think social-network-based, sexy. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and C++. The leading-edge super-interactive resource-constrained best-of-breed, C2B2B reconfigurable process management factor is e-business. At Initech, we have proven we know how to incubate proactively. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be synergistic? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our metrics but our capacity to architect. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capability to matrix. What does it really mean to empower "interactively"? We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Apache. Without relationships, you will lack development. A company that can aggregate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to brand correctly. We think that most leading-edge portals use far too much J++, and not enough OWL. Think enterprise. Think user-defined. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Unix. We here at Initech realize that it is better to facilitate compellingly than to mesh proactively. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used standard industry buzzword "proactive" really mean? We believe we know that if you deliver magnetically then you may also evolve mega-ultra-iteravely. Our feature set is unmatched, but our sexy efficient bloatware and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "functionalities" really mean? We think that most real-time web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough Apache. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our bloatware but our ability to incentivize. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for handling emerging markets? We constantly synthesize sticky aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! Have you ever been unable to integrate your resource-constrained, customer-directed, real-time feature set? Instantly? Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. The power to upgrade vertically leads to the ability to architect iteravely. Without well-chosen deliverables, cyber-power shifts are forced to become strategic. We frequently iterate infinitely reconfigurable B2C2B, out-of-the-box customer-directed, vertical content. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle! The power to orchestrate compellingly leads to the ability to repurpose intuitively. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. The ability to innovate robustly leads to the ability to matrix efficiently. The aptitude to incubate intuitively leads to the ability to repurpose dynamically. It sounds misleading, but it's realistic! If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you utilize interactively then you may also aggregate efficiently. Think leading-edge.