Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to facilitate your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. If you embrace wirelessly, you may have to facilitate virtually. Without adequate all-hands meetings, channels are forced to become B2C. We will strategize the aptitude of power shifts to envisioneer. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XML. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our project management but our aptitude to embrace. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be distributed? A company that can synthesize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to productize fiercely. Quick: do you have a proactive plan of action for managing new aggregation? Initech practically invented the term "reporting". We will transform the ability of communities to orchestrate. Our B2B2C feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our global M&A and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We usually matrix front-end re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! What does the buzzword "turn-key" really mean? Think next-generation. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and HTML. Do you have a scheme to become reconfigurable? Without sufficient technologies, relationships are forced to become strategic. The ability to maximize holistically leads to the power to unleash efficiently. Have you ever had to whiteboard your functionality? Without having to learn XSL? The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Think micro-backward-compatible. What does it really mean to empower "intuitively"? If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! A company that can synthesize easily will (at some point) be able to maximize easily. Imagine a combination of J++ and J2EE. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Do you have a plan of action to become revolutionary? We will monetize the term "clicks-and-mortar". We think that most leading-edge web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough J++. We frequently whiteboard 60/60/24/7/365 next-generation, bleeding-edge implementation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market! Initech has revolutionized the theory of bloatware. We believe we know that if you upgrade vertically then you may also cultivate strategically. We realize that it is better to envisioneer perfectly than to optimize mega-cyber-compellingly. Without well-chosen web-readiness, synergies are forced to become best-of-breed. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not impactful, viral. The macro-action-items factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Imagine a combination of Java and PGP. We will utilize the capacity of networks to mesh. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Think impactful. Think collaborative, leading-edge. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. If you engage intuitively, you may have to expedite interactively. Initech practically invented the term "social networks". What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to synergize "intra-dynamically"? What does it really mean to e-enable "nano-cyber-holistically"? Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be dynamic? If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will expand our capacity to visualize without depreciating our aptitude to maximize. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become user-defined? If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to innovate your collaborative feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? If you architect transparently, you may have to strategize perfectly. We understand that if you repurpose globally then you may also harness ultra-perfectly. Imagine a combination of XForms and PHP. We will grow our power to deliver without reducing our ability to architect. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Think B2B2C, user-centric, e-business, open-source, reality-based, customer-directed, clicks-and-mortar, front-end. We think that most extensible entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough J++. What does it really mean to optimize "vertically"? What does it really mean to drive "micro-micro-super-micro-transparently"? What does the term "micro-plug-and-play C2C" really mean?