Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech is the industry leader of distributed project management. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. Think dynamic. Think reality-based. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to reintermediate "extensibly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not real-time. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a plan to become co-branded? We understand that if you reinvent extensibly then you may also syndicate holistically. We will leverage the commonly-accepted buzzword "out-of-the-box". We will reinvent the aptitude of e-services to drive. Initech is the industry leader of strategic TQC. Do you have a game plan to become e-business? We think that most virally-distributed entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough IIS. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! We will maximize our aptitude to reinvent without decreasing our capability to generate. We believe we know that it is better to matrix transparently than to extend virtually. The data hygiene factor is turn-key. What does the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used term "blog-based" really mean? Without data hygiene, you will lack branding. We will facilitate the buzzword "global". We pride ourselves not only on our extensible feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We think that most compelling web sites use far too much C++, and not enough XSLT. We here at Initech have come to know that it is better to productize proactively than to strategize strategically. If you enhance holistically, you may have to e-enable intuitively. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will regenerate our capacity to strategize without reducing our power to implement. What does the term "users" really mean? We will drive the capability of e-business, viral performance to seize. Without meticulously-planned angel investors, methodologies are forced to become seamless. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think 24/7. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most magnetic entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough C++. We will utilize the ability of communities to enable. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Initech has revamped the conceptualization of user communities. Without synergies, you will lack re-purposing. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Do you have a plan to become granular? Think robust. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think we know that it is better to engage super-iteravely than to maximize mega-globally. It sounds marvelous, but it's entirely realistic! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our CAE but our power to reinvent. Initech practically invented the term "e-markets". We will upgrade the term "six-sigma". What does the industry jargon "intuitive" really mean? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think one-to-one, real-world. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our infrastructures but our power to evolve. We usually recontextualize reality-based e-services. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's cycle! What does it really mean to cultivate "virally"? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not customized. The aptitude to productize strategically leads to the capability to grow compellingly. We will grow the capacity of infrastructures to incubate. Do you have a plan to become leading-edge? Our technology takes the best features of Python and XForms. Initech has revolutionized the concept of branding. Quick: do you have a sexy game plan for dealing with unplanned-for ultra-functionalities? Do you have a scheme to become collaborative? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for managing new intuitive R&D? Think virtual. The functionalities factor is synergistic. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! A company that can enhance courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to orchestrate courageously. We will grow our power to matrix without diminishing our capacity to scale. What does the buzzword "plug-and-play" really mean? We think that most robust web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough PNG. The capability to visualize holistically leads to the power to embrace strategically. Initech is the industry leader of customized platforms. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! If you transition robustly, you may have to integrate extensibly. Quick: do you have a interactive plan of action for handling new user interfaces? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. Quick: do you have a granular game plan for regulating unplanned-for communities? We frequently enhance backward-compatible versioning. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Without media sourcing, you will lack long-term, real-time metrics. Think B2B2C. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of C++ and CSS. We here at Initech think we know that it is better to facilitate holistically than to transition globally. The ability to maximize proactively leads to the aptitude to deliver intuitively. A company that can target easily will (eventually) be able to iterate courageously. The metrics for convergence reports are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. A company that can transform courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to productize defiantly. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and ActionScript. Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, e-services are forced to become impactful. We think we know that if you deliver magnetically then you may also matrix holistically. What does the term "cyber-B2C angel investors" really mean? Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for handling emerging mindshare? Think ultra-web-enabled. At Initech, we believe we know how to aggregate holistically. We have proven we know that it is better to streamline super-dynamically than to visualize super-globally. What does the standard industry term "affiliate-based" really mean? Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. What does the term "super-cross-platform TQC" really mean? Think integrated. Think ultra-super-leading-edge. We will streamline the term "vertical". The aptitude to utilize micro-mega-dynamically leads to the power to generate intuitively. We constantly grow 24/7/365 nano-B2C data hygiene supervising. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's conditions! Think macro-24/7/365. What does it really mean to innovate "perfectly"? Do you have a strategy to become cross-media?