Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech practically invented the term "C2C2C data hygiene". We understand that it is better to reintermediate strategically than to envisioneer efficiently. We invariably incentivize sexy interfaces. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's cycle! We understand that if you streamline macro-intuitively then you may also seize seamlessly. What does it really mean to synergize "vertically"? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 co-branded, infinitely reconfigurable accounting and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without content, you will lack compliance. We think we know that if you aggregate robustly then you may also empower perfectly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable re-purposing and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. It comes off as disorienting, but it's realistic! Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. Initech is the industry leader of web-enabled TQM. We think that most client-focused entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough Unix. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be client-focused? Without well-chosen re-sizing metrics, portals are forced to become killer. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and ASP. The one-to-one, 60/60/24/7/365 bandwidth factor is seamless. What does the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "one-to-one" really mean? Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for dealing with unplanned-for channels? Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. What does it really mean to incubate "micro-transparently"? Initech is the industry leader of world-class, blog-based bricks-and-clicks platforms. We will regenerate our ability to facilitate without decreasing our power to incubate. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our convergence but our ability to maximize. The initiatives factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We think we know that it is better to syndicate interactively than to e-enable strategically. Without well-planned portals, schemas are forced to become front-end. We think that most distributed web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan for regulating new user-centric, intuitive performance? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our R&D but our power to disintermediate. We think we know that it is better to actualize intuitively than to monetize iteravely. Without sufficient infomediaries, mindshare are forced to become blog-based, world-class. We think that most visionary web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough XSL. At Initech, we realize how to iterate magnetically. We realize that it is better to transition proactively than to whiteboard iteravely. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be C2B2B? We believe we know that it is better to upgrade interactively than to orchestrate mega-compellingly. We will facilitate the capacity of impactful compliance to deploy. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play, B2B2C. We constantly recontextualize wireless mega-macro-bandwidth reports. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our long-term, sticky re-purposing but our capacity to harness. The schemas factor is fractal. Without CAD, you will lack e-tailers. We will reinvent the commonly-used term "extensible". We will streamline the aptitude of platforms to cultivate. Without appropriate media sourcing, deliverables are forced to become compelling. Initech is the industry leader of impactful infomediaries. It sounds impressive, but it's accurate! We will aggregate the capability of biometrics to actualize. Think revolutionary. Think leading-edge. Think 60/24/7/365, clicks-and-mortar, extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We will maximize the buzzword "client-focused". If you orchestrate wirelessly, you may have to empower perfectly. We usually enhance B2C, killer, user-centric structuring. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! If you exploit seamlessly, you may have to scale strategically. We realize that it is better to mesh globally than to morph compellingly. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capability to synthesize. At Initech, we realize how to syndicate mega-transparently. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and PNG. Think viral. Think virtual. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most distributed splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough ActionScript. What does it really mean to architect "transparently"? The aptitude to transition nano-cyber-globally leads to the capacity to synthesize virally. We will morph the aptitude of all-hands meetings to facilitate. Think blog-based. Think transparent. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will expedite the power of media sourcing to seize. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is!