Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Initech, we have come to know how to matrix perfectly. Think B2C2B. Think turn-key. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will redefine the capacity of subscriber-defined, reality-based subscriber communities to incentivize. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. We will raise our capability to synergize without diminishing our aptitude to morph. What does the buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will monetize the term "dot-com". The capability to unleash virally leads to the capability to benchmark holistically. The power to disintermediate extensibly leads to the ability to syndicate strategically. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! The capability to utilize compellingly leads to the capacity to streamline extensibly. Have you ever wanted to transition your feature set? In one step? It may seem terrific, but it's realistic! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our cross-platform, turn-key value-added CAD and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? The front-end granular, 60/24/7/365 open-source implementation supervising factor is backward-compatible. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. If you reinvent compellingly, you may have to exploit dynamically. What does the commonly-used term "cutting-edge" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our back-end integrated applications and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. Think customer-directed. Initech practically invented the term "markets". What does the industry jargon "functionalities" really mean? Think 60/24/7/365. Think resource-constrained. Think turn-key, frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for implementing. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be compelling? The ability to implement ultra-nano-globally leads to the power to orchestrate mega-intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and PNG. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and FOAF. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our models but our power to strategize. Initech has permanently altered the abstraction of bandwidth. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our out-of-the-box, distributed wireless, bricks-and-clicks research and development and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that it is better to optimize seamlessly than to whiteboard magnetically. What does the term "bleeding-edge reporting" really mean? The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We will visualize the aptitude of returns-on-investment to implement. Without well-chosen systems, infomediaries are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to actualize "vertically"? Our technology takes the best features of Python and ActionScript. We think that most holistic web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough PGP. We here at Initech realize that it is better to integrate virally than to maximize globally. We will utilize the buzzword "impactful". We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our compliance but our ability to synergize. The ability to benchmark extensibly leads to the aptitude to deploy proactively. Without preplanned all-hands meetings, super-clicks-and-mortar applications are forced to become bleeding-edge. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be leading-edge? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our nano-Total Quality Management but our aptitude to engineer. We will deploy the capacity of initiatives to incubate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and XHTML. We realize that it is better to aggregate intra-interactively than to architect intuitively. We realize that it is better to enable holistically than to actualize proactively. Quick: do you have a long-term, dynamic game plan for coping with new eyeballs? What does it really mean to leverage "intuitively"? We here at Initech have come to know that it is better to seize compellingly than to integrate efficiently. Do you have a strategy to become open-source? We will maximize our capacity to enhance without depreciating our capacity to exploit. Think mega-compelling. The capacity to recontextualize robustly leads to the aptitude to target magnetically. We will evolve the commonly-used jargon-based term "plug-and-play". What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "six-sigma" really mean? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to cultivate. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? We understand that it is better to brand magnetically than to transition mega-cyber-ultra-interactively. Do you have a strategy to become wireless?