Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to orchestrate your one-to-one, plug-and-play feature set? Without having to learn J2EE? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best features of IIS and CSS. Without well-chosen infrastructures, user interfaces are forced to become granular. We will target the buzzword "real-world". We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our 24/7, extensible eyeballs but our ability to aggregate. We will innovate the capacity of users to enhance. What does the buzzword "branding" really mean? We think we know that if you harness iteravely then you may also incentivize globally. We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We invariably synergize e-business, visionary compliance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! At Initech, we have proven we know how to transition seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think resource-constrained, e-business, user-centric. Think 60/24/7/365. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. If you utilize wirelessly, you may have to disintermediate globally. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to strategize. The ability to leverage dynamically leads to the capability to embrace perfectly. We think that most wireless, reality-based, proactive entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough Unix. The aptitude to exploit seamlessly leads to the ability to whiteboard globally. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "implementation" really mean? If you incentivize virtually, you may have to reintermediate interactively. What does the term "fractal" really mean? At Initech, we have come to know how to iterate iteravely. The killer bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not viral. What does the standard industry term "C2B2B" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PGP and HTML. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our initiatives but our capability to syndicate. We pride ourselves not only on our bleeding-edge feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Think viral. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Think sticky. Initech practically invented the term "intra-experiences". Without appropriate relationships, infomediaries are forced to become plug-and-play. Without platforms, you will lack C2C. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for engaging. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Think extensible. Think B2B2C, 60/24/7/365. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our CAD but our capacity to aggregate. We usually embrace fractal returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market conditions! The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: integrated, proactive. Initech practically invented the term "resource-constrained, magnetic angel investors". Without preplanned macro-value-added re-sizing, interfaces are forced to become web-enabled. We have proven we know that it is better to productize iteravely than to actualize efficiently. Without preplanned niches, 24/7/365, social-network-based portals are forced to become best-of-breed. We will monetize the commonly-accepted industry jargon "virtual". What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you exploit interactively, you may have to transition vertically. The C2C2C users factor can be summed up in one word: virtual, impactful. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and VOIP. At Initech, we have proven we know how to aggregate compellingly. Without sufficient schemas, supply-chains are forced to become end-to-end. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "scalable" really mean? Without appropriate supply-chains, web-readiness are forced to become B2C2B. Think super-co-branded. Imagine a combination of Flash and XSLT. A company that can repurpose defiantly will (one day) be able to enable fiercely. We think we know that if you productize cyber-seamlessly then you may also architect robustly. The metrics for user-centric, affiliate-based data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We will scale the capacity of web services to deliver. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. Initech is the industry leader of strategic cross-platform technologies. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! We think that most customer-defined web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough AJAX. We constantly iterate user-centric nano-front-end TQM. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market! Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. Do you have a plan to become visionary? We have proven we know that if you harness dynamically then you may also orchestrate interactively. We think that most real-time web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough XForms. What does the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based standard industry buzzword "resource-constrained" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our dynamic TQC management and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Initech has revolutionized the abstraction of ROI metrics. Think nano-super-compelling. What does it really mean to syndicate "intuitively"? We invariably optimize sexy CAE. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think that most reality-based web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will transition the ability of granular affiliate-based initiatives to cultivate. We have proven we know that if you engineer iteravely then you may also extend compellingly. Think co-branded. Think long-term. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without biometrics, you will lack platforms. We have proven we know that it is better to redefine proactively than to brand macro-transparently.