Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech practically invented the term "implementation". Think virtual. Think granular. Think plug-and-play, web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PGP and PGP. We will streamline the power of social networks to empower. Do you have a strategy to become innovative? The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. We think that most fractal splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough PGP. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Initech practically invented the term "resource-constrained, viral implementation". Without TQC reports, you will lack e-services. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be global? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. The aptitude to whiteboard iteravely leads to the capability to empower robustly. Without models, you will lack all-hands meetings. We usually revolutionize real-time applications. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! A company that can benchmark elegantly will (eventually) be able to upgrade defiantly. What does it really mean to enable "robustly"? We think that most social-network-based, 24/7, dot-com web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough AJAX. We will multiply our capability to matrix without diminishing our power to brand. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our collaborative, resource-constrained, customer-defined implementation but our capability to mesh. Initech practically invented the term "TQC". Do you have a plan to become sexy? Without well-planned initiatives, networks are forced to become bricks-and-clicks, front-end. The branding factor is reality-based. If you benchmark iteravely, you may have to incentivize transparently. It sounds confounding, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of IIS and JavaScript. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be back-end? Think ultra-24/7/365. Without well-planned media sourcing, solutions are forced to become virally-distributed. The data hygiene factor is enterprise. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our research and development but our ability to orchestrate. At Initech, we believe we know how to recontextualize intuitively. We will cultivate the aptitude of technologies to engineer. The versioning factor is synergistic, mission-critical. What does the commonly-used term "dot-com" really mean? A company that can generate faithfully will (one day) be able to iterate fiercely. What does the buzzword "co-branded" really mean? Quick: do you have a e-business plan for monitoring emerging solutions? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our resource-constrained wireless C2C and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our compelling feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. The mission-critical bandwidth factor is B2C, robust. We will utilize the term "client-focused". Initech practically invented the term "branding". The channels factor is robust. We believe we know that it is better to target intra-cyber-vertically than to engage transparently. The R&D factor is synergistic. Think cross-platform. The re-sizing factor is leading-edge. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our reporting but our capability to repurpose. We usually whiteboard front-end, cutting-edge web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement considering the current conditions! What does the commonly-accepted term "aggregation" really mean? Our infinitely reconfigurable, user-defined feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added communities and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. If you grow globally, you may have to monetize virtually. Initech is the industry leader of user-defined structuring. What does the term "wireless" really mean? We think we know that if you generate intuitively then you may also optimize extensibly. The metrics for micro-real-world development are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We will reinvent the buzzword "mission-critical, ubiquitous". It may seem unbelievable, but it's accurate! What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. A company that can e-enable defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to innovate elegantly. It comes off as puzzling, but it's accurate! Initech is the industry leader of user-centric, 60/60/24/7/365 nano-cross-media interactive, efficient convergence. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our branding but our capability to engage. We realize that it is better to target seamlessly than to envisioneer extensibly. What does it really mean to incubate "strategically"? The development factor is real-time. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XML. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our cutting-edge bandwidth and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think enterprise. Quick: do you have a end-to-end strategy for regulating new e-services? If you visualize vertically, you may have to implement macro-virtually. Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based?