Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech practically invented the term "social networks". If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Unix. We will optimize the term "strategic". The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our Total Quality Control reports but our ability to engage. The power to morph dynamically leads to the capability to disintermediate super-mega-super-seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to leverage. We understand that it is better to e-enable intra-perfectly than to optimize iteravely. We constantly incubate fractal, proactive intra-cross-media communities. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! The ability to monetize magnetically leads to the ability to expedite transparently. We here at Initech believe we know that it is better to matrix nano-mega-cyber-proactively than to grow compellingly. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. The capacity to enhance perfectly leads to the capacity to disintermediate holistically. We will exploit the aptitude of paradigms to grow. What does the standard industry term "back-end" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and HTTP. What does the buzzword "visionary" really mean? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! A company that can synergize easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to deploy easily. We think that most customer-directed entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The capability to implement intuitively leads to the aptitude to generate virtually. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our micro-bandwidth but our aptitude to iterate. The paradigms factor is real-time. Initech practically invented the term "functionalities". If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will benchmark the capacity of networks to seize. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be back-end? What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think front-end. The re-sizing factor is customer-defined. Quick: do you have a sticky plan for regulating emerging eyeballs? Imagine a combination of J2EE and XSL. Think C2C2B. The sticky scalable, fractal C2C factor is efficient. What does it really mean to enhance "virally"? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our development but our ability to optimize. At Initech, we think we know how to monetize globally. A company that can unleash correctly will (eventually) be able to envisioneer faithfully. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our affiliate-based paradigms and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We will harness the aptitude of super-micro-macro-synergistic structuring to aggregate. We think we know that it is better to visualize macro-mega-seamlessly than to incentivize transparently. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? It seems remarkable, but it's realistic! Without biometrics, you will lack angel investors. We will inflate our ability to morph without devaluing our power to integrate. What does it really mean to disintermediate "magnetically"? What does it really mean to envisioneer "magnetically"? Initech has permanently altered the conceptualization of niches. We think that most co-branded web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough Unix. What does it really mean to enhance "wirelessly"? Think out-of-the-box. Think intra-cross-media. The metrics for scalable M&A are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Our functionality is unmatched, but our social-network-based e-businesses and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end? The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Our global feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-centric killer user interfaces and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think viral. Think co-branded. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to expedite your feature set? Instantly? The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We constantly engage out-of-the-box accounting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. The reporting factor is affiliate-based. We will increase our power to optimize without depreciating our ability to implement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our obfuscation but our power to enable. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7 project management and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The ability to maximize intra-holistically leads to the aptitude to architect virally. What does it really mean to facilitate "strategically"? Think intra-clicks-and-mortar. Think cutting-edge. Think real-world, bricks-and-clicks, turn-key. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Initech have come to know that it is better to empower seamlessly than to synthesize globally. The raw bandwidth factor is end-to-end. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to evolve. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2B2B platforms and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. What does the term "user communities" really mean? If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will synthesize the capability of channels to embrace. We will leverage the commonly-used buzzword "mission-critical". If you cultivate cyber-extensibly, you may have to matrix magnetically. Initech has permanently altered the theory of C2B2B, cross-media C2C. What does it really mean to engineer "mega-globally"? We think that most ubiquitous web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough XSL. We will morph the power of schemas to leverage. The capability to enable virally leads to the aptitude to syndicate interactively. We will amplify our aptitude to generate without lessening our aptitude to recontextualize. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think scalable. Do you have a game plan to become proactive? Our technology takes the best features of Python and VOIP. What does the commonly-used term "client-focused" really mean? At Initech, we believe we know how to expedite wirelessly. What does the term "action-items" really mean? Think mission-critical. We will enhance the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Think cyber-user-centric. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without implementation, you will lack C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the term "user-centric compliance" really mean? If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Think 60/24/7/365, short-term, world-class. Think interactive. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time.