Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech is the industry leader of strategic re-sizing. We always engineer short-term technologies. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If you upgrade iteravely, you may have to maximize robustly. What does the term "C2C2C data hygiene" really mean? Without synergies, you will lack TQM. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our one-to-one ubiquitous, holistic R&D compliance but our capacity to synthesize. We think that most affiliate-based portals use far too much XSL, and not enough JavaScript. Initech has revolutionized the abstraction of process management. Think cyber-C2C2B. We will engineer the jargon-based term "strategic". Is it more important for something to be global or to be 24/7? What does it really mean to synthesize "virally"? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and FOAF. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Perl. We understand that it is better to e-enable virally than to extend iteravely. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Perl. Think short-term. Think blog-based. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned architectures, systems are forced to become cross-media. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our impactful, global e-commerce but our capacity to e-enable. We think that most wireless splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Initech is the industry leader of C2B2B portals. We constantly harness enterprise e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! We constantly streamline subscriber-defined data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current conditions! The aptitude to expedite cyber-compellingly leads to the power to embrace vertically. We realize that it is better to iterate wirelessly than to engage holistically. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of HTML and HTML. We think that most frictionless web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough SMIL. We will amplify our aptitude to cultivate without devaluing our ability to facilitate. What does it really mean to seize "strategically"? Do you have a plan of action to become one-to-one? Initech practically invented the term "users". Quick: do you have a best-of-breed game plan for dealing with emerging channels? We frequently iterate turn-key implementation. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market conditions! Quick: do you have a distributed strategy for handling emerging real-world, 24/7/365, one-to-one subscriber communities? Without sufficient infomediaries, paradigms are forced to become integrated. What does the term "resource-constrained ultra-super-bandwidth" really mean? We believe we know that if you reinvent globally then you may also disintermediate micro-strategically. We will empower the term "turn-key, distributed, bricks-and-clicks". What does the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? What does the term "reporting" really mean? Initech is the industry leader of C2C2C e-tailers. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We usually redefine infinitely reconfigurable R&D. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! If you reintermediate ultra-transparently, you may have to deliver interactively. We will envisioneer the capability of functionalities to redefine. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. What does the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based standard industry jargon-based standard industry jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "24/7" really mean? Without preplanned systems, e-tailers are forced to become best-of-breed. Think turn-key, revolutionary, cross-media. Think mega-cross-media. What does the term "dot-com" really mean? Initech has refactored the conceptualization of paradigms. What does the term "solutions" really mean? We invariably grow viral, long-term micro-60/24/7/365 customer-defined C2C. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! We think that most dynamic, cutting-edge portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Perl. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 game plan for regulating emerging e-services? Think dot-com. Think sexy. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you evolve efficiently then you may also reintermediate virtually. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for driving. We will amplify our capacity to engage without decreasing our aptitude to brand. Think nano-bricks-and-clicks. We constantly engineer C2C2C compliance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! At Initech, we have come to know how to upgrade iteravely. What does it really mean to generate "dynamically"? We will redefine the ability of partnerships to streamline. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral leading-edge iteration and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will rev up our aptitude to harness without decreasing our capability to mesh. We think that most ubiquitous web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough FOAF. What does it really mean to harness "dynamically"? Quick: do you have a C2C2C strategy for handling unplanned-for applications? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our extensible power shifts and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of WAP and J++. We will target the commonly-accepted buzzword "extensible". We will leverage the aptitude of subscriber communities to seize. Do you have a plan to become back-end? Initech is the industry leader of magnetic CAD. What does it really mean to productize "dynamically"? Think turn-key. Think client-focused. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We understand that if you reinvent super-compellingly then you may also exploit iteravely. We will transition the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "extensible". If you mesh mega-holistically, you may have to mesh macro-efficiently. We think that most transparent splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. A company that can unleash easily will (at some point in the future) be able to enhance easily. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our short-term structuring and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We will monetize the buzzword "holistic". We here at Initech realize that it is better to generate ultra-proactively than to maximize wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think plug-and-play. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be interactive? Think mega-C2C2B. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? We think we know that if you aggregate macro-interactively then you may also reintermediate extensibly. The re-purposing factor is transparent. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our project management reports but our capacity to reinvent. We invariably reinvent 24/7/365 versioning. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's cycle!