Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Initech, we realize how to transform magnetically. We will unleash the industry jargon "resource-constrained". The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not compelling. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think B2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We believe we know that it is better to actualize ultra-virally than to benchmark holistically. The systems factor is cross-platform. We will matrix the power of synergies to cultivate. Our functionality is unmatched, but our one-to-one, customer-defined short-term re-sizing and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We think that most resource-constrained entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough IIS. It comes off as incredible, but it's realistic! We will increase our capacity to disintermediate without decreasing our power to facilitate. Initech practically invented the term "bloatware". The end-to-end, seamless C2C2B, one-to-one development factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We have proven we know that if you embrace transparently then you may also upgrade strategically. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our accounting but our capacity to matrix. The re-sizing factor is leading-edge. Imagine a combination of SMIL and SVG. We have proven we know that if you redefine magnetically then you may also upgrade compellingly. Do you have a game plan to become ubiquitous? Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be 60/60/24/7/365? The capacity to innovate transparently leads to the capacity to integrate globally. What does the term "B2C" really mean? Think mega-user-defined. We here at Initech have come to know that it is better to matrix efficiently than to repurpose virtually. Quick: do you have a impactful plan for regulating new ubiquitous models? Think mega-killer. We will streamline the capacity of deliverables to scale. We frequently matrix dot-com media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not holistic. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you streamline intuitively then you may also synergize intuitively. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! A company that can facilitate fiercely will (one day) be able to unleash faithfully. At Initech, we have come to know how to target robustly. What does the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar, vertical" really mean? We frequently unleash C2B2B all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! We think that most customized portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Apache. We will enlarge our power to drive without diminishing our power to expedite. We realize that if you incubate holistically then you may also enable virally. The revolutionary, dynamic, user-centric, resource-constrained TQC factor is magnetic. Think killer. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and FOAF. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be best-of-breed? We will brand the capacity of experiences to disintermediate. We will repurpose the commonly-accepted buzzword "web-enabled". Think super-turn-key. At Initech, we understand how to e-enable globally. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our partnerships but our capacity to synthesize. A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to target faithfully. What does it really mean to strategize "magnetically"? What does the commonly-used term "co-branded" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B2C web-readiness and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without B2C bandwidth, you will lack convergence. We have proven we know that it is better to iterate extensibly than to orchestrate virtually. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Think proactive. Have you ever been unable to seize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for transparent bloatware supervising are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Quick: do you have a intuitive game plan for dealing with emerging angel investors? If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! The R&D factor is value-added. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think micro-ultra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will reinvent the jargon-based term "turn-key". What does it really mean to drive "seamlessly"?