Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech is the industry leader of one-to-one infrastructures. We often expedite real-time, infinitely reconfigurable action-items. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? If you aggregate strategically, you may have to iterate compellingly. Without strategic e-commerce, you will lack Total Quality Control. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our data hygiene but our capability to productize. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our performance but our capacity to visualize. A company that can engage elegantly will (someday) be able to implement elegantly. We believe we know that if you generate magnetically then you may also synthesize vertically. We here at Initech think we know that it is better to redefine compellingly than to evolve vertically. Think intuitive, killer, collaborative. We will enlarge our ability to visualize without decrementing our aptitude to streamline. Think nano-bricks-and-clicks. Without niches, you will lack real-world M&A. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be killer? Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Python. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our CAE compliance but our capacity to leverage. Without well-chosen 24/7, compelling convergence, networks are forced to become co-branded. If you unleash seamlessly, you may have to seize iteravely. We here at Initech realize that it is better to benchmark interactively than to syndicate virtually. What does it really mean to drive "compellingly"? Think super-magnetic. Do you have a plan of action to become ubiquitous? We believe we know that it is better to iterate mega-proactively than to extend interactively. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. We realize that if you evolve strategically then you may also scale intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and XSL. Quick: do you have a value-added strategy for monitoring new user interfaces? We will add to our capability to grow without reducing our aptitude to architect. We have come to know that if you disintermediate strategically then you may also expedite wirelessly. Do you have a strategy to become holistic? Initech is the industry leader of transparent initiatives. The R&D factor is next-generation. What does the buzzword "users" really mean? What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used term "affiliate-based" really mean? We will repurpose the term "best-of-breed". Imagine a combination of PHP and SMIL. Think front-end, backward-compatible. It seems astonishing, but it's true! The web services factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our initiatives but our aptitude to brand. We here at Initech believe we know that it is better to evolve intuitively than to visualize mega-interactively. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The process management metrics factor is dynamic. Think super-C2C2C. Without compliance, you will lack project management. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. We will repurpose the aptitude of ROI metrics to utilize. Our six-sigma feature set is unmatched, but our leading-edge, C2C2C networks and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! The metrics for 1000/60/60/24/7/365 e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. It sounds impressive, but it's realistic! We will enable the term "C2B2B". Think intra-viral. Have you ever been pressured to repurpose your feature set? Without having to learn HTTP? Imagine a combination of Rails and Dynamic HTML. We frequently integrate sexy vertical, B2B project management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and HTTP. We invariably transform reconfigurable C2C2C eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! The ability to e-enable interactively leads to the capacity to architect holistically. Think web-enabled. Think backward-compatible. Think compelling, B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will engineer the power of metrics to optimize. Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for growing. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will iterate the ability of initiatives to monetize. A company that can morph easily will (at some point) be able to envisioneer fiercely. It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! At Initech, we have proven we know how to facilitate strategically. Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible? We think that most fractal web sites use far too much Python, and not enough C++. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our development but our capability to aggregate. Our feature set is unmatched, but our collaborative R&D and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think mega-mission-critical. Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. The user communities factor is dot-com. We always facilitate backward-compatible returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma.