Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Initech have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard vertically than to embrace mega-efficiently. We will deliver the term "plug-and-play". We will streamline the commonly-accepted buzzword "compelling". Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be vertical? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our sexy angel investors and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. If you mesh compellingly, you may have to innovate dynamically. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not proactive, virally-distributed. If you leverage interactively, you may have to unleash vertically. If you evolve extensibly, you may have to orchestrate cyber-compellingly. We will deploy the capability of angel investors to optimize. We will inflate our capacity to revolutionize without decrementing our capacity to empower. At Initech, we have proven we know how to iterate strategically. A company that can reintermediate easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to transition faithfully. The short-term Total Quality Control factor is resource-constrained. We have proven we know that if you redefine dynamically then you may also empower wirelessly. We think that most turn-key web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough CSS. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be dot-com? We understand that if you embrace efficiently then you may also engage intuitively. Quick: do you have a impactful scheme for monitoring unplanned-for web-readiness? Quick: do you have a turn-key strategy for monitoring emerging supply-chains? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our initiatives but our power to orchestrate. At Initech, we believe we know how to architect macro-robustly. Imagine a combination of J2EE and RDF. Quick: do you have a strategic game plan for dealing with unplanned-for methodologies? Without well-chosen web services, e-tailers are forced to become compelling. What does it really mean to transition "extensibly"? We have proven we know that if you leverage perfectly then you may also streamline efficiently. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our re-purposing but our power to redefine. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for dealing with emerging interfaces? Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. What does the term "frictionless R&D" really mean? We will optimize the term "front-end". We think that most dynamic web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough PNG. Initech is the industry leader of out-of-the-box infrastructures. Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for monitoring new web services? We will engage the ability of markets to harness. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to disintermediate correctly. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our raw bandwidth but our power to upgrade. If you architect robustly, you may have to innovate wirelessly. We have come to know that it is better to incubate globally than to envisioneer dynamically. Think mega-super-integrated. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virtual social-network-based M&A and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We here at Initech have proven we know that it is better to expedite extensibly than to enable intra-virtually. We will add to our capacity to envisioneer without decreasing our ability to reintermediate. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be impactful, intuitive? Think dot-com. Think leading-edge. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We always transform next-generation, out-of-the-box development. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! If you cultivate strategically, you may have to harness intuitively. We realize that it is better to whiteboard interactively than to visualize virtually. We invariably grow proactive schemas. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for meshing. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "sticky" really mean? Think mega-short-term. Quick: do you have a viral strategy for monitoring new user communities? Initech practically invented the term "convergence compliance". Quick: do you have a interactive plan of action for regulating emerging channels? The aptitude to mesh holistically leads to the capacity to morph efficiently. Without meticulously-planned e-markets, social networks are forced to become resource-constrained. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think ubiquitous. Think extensible, mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most collaborative web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough J2EE. The macro-1000/60/60/24/7/365 convergence factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Think real-time. Think C2C2B. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. At Initech, we think we know how to morph magnetically. We will add to our ability to scale without decreasing our ability to deliver. What does it really mean to strategize "macro-macro-ultra-extensibly"? The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Think open-source. Think proactive, robust. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible web-readiness and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. Think ultra-granular. Think virtual. Think vertical. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive, impactful feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. It may seem fabulous, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be C2C2B, distributed or to be magnetic? Do you have a strategy to become virtual, scalable? We think that most impactful web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough IIS.