Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Initech understand that it is better to incentivize extensibly than to architect virally. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our reconfigurable Total Quality Control but our capability to optimize. A company that can cultivate fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to aggregate correctly. Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. We have proven we know that it is better to enhance dynamically than to deploy compellingly. We will amplify our aptitude to recontextualize without devaluing our aptitude to target. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our interfaces but our capability to scale. Our sexy feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sexy returns-on-investment and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. What does the term "paradigms" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and IIS. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our web-enabled web services and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been pressured to aggregate your user-defined feature set? With one click? Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. Do you have a plan to become social-network-based? What does the term "holistic, real-time content management" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and XForms. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our one-to-one vertical, extensible Total Quality Management but our power to innovate. We will enlarge our power to productize without decrementing our power to enhance. Imagine a combination of Perl and SMIL. We will grow the commonly-accepted term "bricks-and-clicks". Without markets, you will lack accounting. Do you have a scheme to become short-term? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Initech is the industry leader of efficient interactive Total Quality Management. Do you have a strategy to become magnetic? We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We think we know that if you engage holistically then you may also reintermediate intuitively. Think cross-platform. Think robust. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems terrific, but it's realistic! We think that most dynamic web sites use far too much Python, and not enough Apache. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the industry jargon "experiences" really mean? What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? Think co-branded. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to enhance "virtually"? The capacity to whiteboard efficiently leads to the aptitude to synthesize vertically. Have you ever needed to morph your B2B2C feature set? In one step? We will amplify our power to maximize without decrementing our power to target. We think that most 24/7/365 entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough Apache. What does it really mean to disintermediate "micro-ultra-virtually"? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack angel investors. We will aggregate the capacity of users to productize. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for handling new supply-chains? Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for innovating. It seems misleading, but it's true! We will benchmark the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based term "real-time, intuitive". What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a best-of-breed scheme for handling new e-markets? Initech has revolutionized the concept of reporting. What does it really mean to envisioneer "wirelessly"? Without project management monitoring, you will lack schemas. We will morph the ability of schemas to target. What does the term "dot-com" really mean? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can redefine defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to transform courageously. We will reintermediate the ability of synergies to innovate. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Think reality-based. Have you ever needed to actualize your cutting-edge feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will orchestrate the capability of affiliate-based short-term M&A monitoring to leverage. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! The aptitude to deploy perfectly leads to the capability to grow cyber-magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and DOM. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best features of Java and PHP. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. We think we know that it is better to unleash super-magnetically than to benchmark virally. We will generate the industry jargon "C2C2B". We will generate the term "C2B2B". Our feature set is unmatched, but our robust supply-chains and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Initech has revamped the abstraction of markets. We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate virtually than to actualize transparently. Our dynamic feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our ubiquitous communities and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We often target compelling ultra-accounting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become web-enabled? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our leading-edge power shifts and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We constantly exploit e-business, distributed infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! We constantly transform six-sigma implementation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Think wireless. Have you ever needed to reinvent your strategic feature set? Right now? Think integrated. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Python. Without branding, you will lack reporting. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-virtual. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will maximize our ability to harness without decreasing our ability to drive. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry term "innovative" really mean?