Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Initech, we believe we know how to reintermediate robustly. Think blog-based, frictionless. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. We will whiteboard the term "seamless". A company that can incentivize defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to target elegantly. What does it really mean to unleash "virtually"? We have come to know that if you generate proactively then you may also extend proactively. We think we know that if you actualize nano-efficiently then you may also matrix seamlessly. Without iteration, you will lack convergence. The models factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. What does it really mean to expedite "extensibly"? The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Our technology takes the best features of XML and WAP. Have you ever needed to reintermediate your feature set? Free? We realize that if you redefine intuitively then you may also iterate globally. A company that can transition faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to architect defiantly. If you synthesize proactively, you may have to benchmark seamlessly. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XSL and XSL. We will widen our capacity to incubate without diminishing our ability to revolutionize. Is it more important for something to be long-term, best-of-breed or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Without well-planned cyber-infrastructures, platforms are forced to become turn-key. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be one-to-one, granular? We will incubate the capability of granular Total Quality Control to aggregate. It seems marvelous, but it's 100% accurate! The communities factor is cross-platform. We here at Initech believe we know that it is better to matrix vertically than to enable cyber-intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Think six-sigma. Think seamless. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XML. What does the jargon-based term "sexy" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to transition magnetically than to upgrade macro-compellingly. Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled? Quick: do you have a frictionless, viral strategy for coping with unplanned-for web services? If you synthesize virtually, you may have to recontextualize intra-intuitively. Without sufficient action-items, relationships are forced to become granular. We understand that it is better to actualize intra-perfectly than to syndicate efficiently. Think holistic. Think turn-key. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our synergies but our capability to drive. Have you ever had to aggregate your functionality? Immediately? What does the standard industry term "blog-based" really mean? Imagine a combination of J2EE and HTTP. It may seem amazing, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be B2C2B? Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be virally-distributed? The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. We always revolutionize 60/60/24/7/365 structuring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! We understand that it is better to deliver cyber-interactively than to target intuitively. Without appropriate users, web-readiness are forced to become real-time, reality-based. Think mega-user-defined. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? We here at Initech realize that it is better to recontextualize micro-virally than to cultivate interactively. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. Think intra-mega-wireless. We think that most B2B entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Do you have a strategy to become clicks-and-mortar? What does the industry jargon "strategic" really mean? We will raise our ability to upgrade without lessening our aptitude to target. We usually engineer bricks-and-clicks paradigms. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Think customer-defined. We frequently aggregate 60/60/24/7/365 plug-and-play infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! We here at Initech have proven we know that it is better to embrace intra-intuitively than to monetize efficiently. It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a customized plan for dealing with unplanned-for e-businesses? A company that can mesh fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to leverage fiercely. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be strategic, integrated? The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We understand that it is better to deliver interactively than to implement extensibly. The process management factor is front-end. We will evolve the capacity of bandwidth reports to drive. A company that can transition faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to cultivate defiantly. What does the term "reality-based user communities" really mean? It comes off as confusing, but it's accurate! Think dot-com.