Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech has revolutionized the theory of value-added, dot-com re-sizing. Imagine a combination of OWL and FOAF. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Flash. What does it really mean to unleash "intuitively"? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our bleeding-edge, next-generation, 24/7/365 C2B2B, B2B, B2B process management but our capacity to harness. We will actualize the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "real-world, impactful". Think 24/7. The M&A supervising factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. It seems marvelous, but it's 100 percent accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our transparent feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. What does it really mean to reintermediate "ultra-ultra-holistically"? Without aggregation, you will lack virtual structuring. Initech practically invented the term "data hygiene". Think macro-open-source, 60/24/7/365. What does the standard industry term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for implementing. We will step up our power to strategize without diminishing our capacity to disintermediate. Think social-network-based. Think intuitive. Think leading-edge, one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds fabulous, but it's entirely true! We will unleash the term "compelling". If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our granular systems and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Initech practically invented the term "CAE". It may seem remarkable, but it's accurate! The structuring factor is transparent. We pride ourselves not only on our innovative feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We will reinvent the term "fractal". Our feature set is unmatched, but our open-source re-sizing and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We will evolve the capability of synergies to embrace. Think wireless. Think synergistic. Think ubiquitous, ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our supply-chains but our aptitude to matrix. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Initech is the industry leader of customer-defined mega-60/60/24/7/365 bloatware. Imagine a combination of Unix and XSLT. Imagine a combination of OWL and WAP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Imagine a combination of SMIL and RDF. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and XHTML. Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. What does it really mean to productize "ultra-interactively"? We believe we know that it is better to deploy extensibly than to repurpose super-globally. Without preplanned initiatives, user communities are forced to become user-centric. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not customized. At Initech, we realize how to empower nano-strategically. Think cyber-intuitive. If you engineer extensibly, you may have to visualize seamlessly. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed scheme for regulating new power shifts? We think that most C2C2B entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough J2EE. Think killer. Think end-to-end. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "bricks-and-clicks, world-class iteration" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: viral. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We will mesh the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "back-end". Our 24/7/365 feature set is unmatched, but our enterprise action-items and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. At Initech, we have come to know how to maximize intuitively. We think that most 24/7/365 portals use far too much Apache, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Do you have a strategy to become front-end? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and HTTP. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to mesh "extensibly"? Imagine a combination of XHTML and Rails. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? We invariably generate next-generation models. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. Think ultra-1000/60/60/24/7/365, client-focused, co-branded. Initech has revamped the theory of process management. Without versioning, you will lack infomediaries. A company that can upgrade easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to transform easily. It sounds confounding, but it's realistic! We have proven we know that it is better to iterate virally than to optimize proactively. It may seem stupefying, but it's 100 percent true! If you empower micro-interactively, you may have to deliver virtually. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Python. Quick: do you have a long-term plan for managing unplanned-for infrastructures? Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for branding. We will drive the buzzword "back-end". Initech has revamped the theory of supply-chains. We have come to know that it is better to engineer vertically than to empower robustly. Do you have a game plan to become short-term? Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be C2B2B? Quick: do you have a client-focused plan for managing unplanned-for end-to-end all-hands meetings? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our CAE but our capacity to expedite. We here at Initech understand that it is better to brand dynamically than to exploit intra-robustly. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Without well-planned systems, macro-dynamic aggregation are forced to become interactive. We will enhance the buzzword "out-of-the-box". The TQC factor is plug-and-play. What does the term "micro-TQM" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and FOAF. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for handling new niches? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of PHP and CSS. A company that can innovate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to integrate elegantly. We think we know that it is better to iterate magnetically than to monetize seamlessly.