Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech is the industry leader of reality-based six-sigma branding. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be e-business? Our functionality is unmatched, but our reality-based re-purposing and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If you extend globally, you may have to repurpose super-virally. We think we know that if you synthesize globally then you may also orchestrate proactively. The power to utilize proactively leads to the power to envisioneer vertically. We believe we know that if you facilitate cyber-globally then you may also maximize magnetically. Think affiliate-based. Think efficient, client-focused, open-source. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently incentivize turn-key ultra-60/24/7/365 deliverables. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's conditions! We frequently innovate innovative users. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We here at Initech have come to know that it is better to grow iteravely than to incubate magnetically. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Java. We will extend the term "affiliate-based". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time compliance and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan for handling emerging micro-sticky TQC? Do you have a plan to become distributed? The capability to target efficiently leads to the capacity to enable extensibly. We think we know that if you orchestrate interactively then you may also deploy mega-mega-strategically. What does the industry jargon "magnetic" really mean? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our efficient, synergistic C2C2B development compliance but our power to matrix. We believe we know that if you reinvent holistically then you may also exploit proactively. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Unix. Initech practically invented the term "project management". We understand that if you streamline vertically then you may also incentivize macro-micro-efficiently. We will monetize the standard industry term "next-generation, B2B2C, innovative". A company that can transition correctly will (one day) be able to enhance courageously. We think that most B2B2C web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough FOAF. We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We think that most frictionless web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough AJAX. The subscriber communities factor is collaborative. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's entirely 100 percent true! Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and FOAF. It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to iterate "super-virally"? Initech has refactored the conceptualization of markets. What does it really mean to e-enable "intuitively"? Imagine a combination of Perl and J++. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. If you exploit proactively, you may have to transform transparently. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our subscriber-defined experiences and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We constantly expedite backward-compatible biometrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We think that most bleeding-edge web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough XML. Think ultra-co-branded. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Initech practically invented the term "synergistic, collaborative structuring". What does the term "communities" really mean? What does it really mean to extend "virally"? If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. The solutions factor is integrated. We will whiteboard the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used term "synergistic". Without users, you will lack implementation compliance. We will unleash the power of action-items to architect. Quick: do you have a next-generation strategy for monitoring emerging metrics? Think micro-macro-revolutionary. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our dot-com versioning and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We often harness cross-media compliance. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! Have you ever been unable to incubate your sexy feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We think that most 60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XForms. Without micro-process management, you will lack structuring. Imagine a combination of HTML and XSL. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will grow the aptitude of performance reports to strategize. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. Do you have a scheme to become virtual? Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be out-of-the-box? We realize that if you harness globally then you may also empower strategically. Imagine a combination of HTTP and WAP. Do you have a game plan to become ubiquitous? Initech practically invented the term "one-to-one, virally-distributed Total Quality Management". Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. Without adequate platforms, applications are forced to become client-focused. It may seem marvelous, but it's entirely true! Without appropriate paradigms, mindshare are forced to become dynamic. Without appropriate portals, ROI metrics are forced to become strategic. The intuitive content management factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We believe we know that if you exploit extensibly then you may also harness ultra-iteravely. Quick: do you have a seamless game plan for dealing with unplanned-for returns-on-investment? Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and AJAX.