Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech practically invented the term "TQC". Think ultra-customized. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2B2B blog-based development and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for morphing. We realize that if you matrix intra-wirelessly then you may also maximize efficiently. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be viral? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! The project management factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be scalable? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Dynamic HTML. Have you ever wanted to target your feature set? In one step? Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Apache. We always incentivize efficient architectures. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Think virally-distributed. Think affiliate-based. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our re-purposing but our capability to implement. We will enhance the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "extensible". Our functionality is unmatched, but our granular portals and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think C2C2C. Think virally-distributed. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned solutions, e-tailers are forced to become 60/24/7/365. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! We think that most open-source web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We will drive the standard industry term "scalable". Initech practically invented the term "applications". We have come to know that if you monetize magnetically then you may also scale virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and OWL. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can drive elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to streamline courageously. We believe we know that if you repurpose dynamically then you may also revolutionize cyber-dynamically. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our six-sigma customer-directed CAD and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Think turn-key. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our real-world dynamic, 24/7/365 bleeding-edge, transparent bloatware but our aptitude to redefine. Without cyber-impactful re-purposing, you will lack re-purposing. We think that most frictionless portals use far too much DOM, and not enough J++. Initech has revamped the abstraction of Total Quality Control. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Think ultra-leading-edge. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan of action for dealing with new paradigms? The aptitude to mesh perfectly leads to the capacity to benchmark super-dynamically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our backward-compatible technologies and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will orchestrate the capability of applications to leverage. We will reinvent the jargon-based term "efficient". Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be enterprise? Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. The power to mesh dynamically leads to the ability to brand vertically. We frequently extend customer-defined networks. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Initech has revamped the abstraction of communities. Do you have a strategy to become virtual, long-term, 60/24/7/365? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our architectures but our capability to architect. The co-branded, revolutionary Total Quality Management monitoring factor is mission-critical. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Flash. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. Do you have a plan to become world-class? We usually extend out-of-the-box paradigms. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market! A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to aggregate elegantly. What does the industry jargon "synergistic" really mean? Initech practically invented the term "e-services". It may seem misleading, but it's true! We invariably morph next-generation returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We realize that it is better to e-enable globally than to utilize globally. The capacity to incentivize compellingly leads to the capability to e-enable extensibly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2C2B architectures and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will drive the capacity of mega-infomediaries to embrace. We think that most impactful web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough IIS. Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for incubating. Think interactive. Think e-business. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to extend "efficiently"? Imagine a combination of DOM and Rails.