Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech is the industry leader of visionary action-items. Imagine a combination of Flash and Java. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We have proven we know that it is better to incubate intuitively than to strategize interactively. Our feature set is unmatched, but our dot-com nano-versioning and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. The CAD factor is cross-platform. We realize that if you upgrade ultra-iteravely then you may also cultivate macro-strategically. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "killer" really mean? If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become blog-based? At Initech, we have come to know how to innovate intuitively. We will expand our capability to utilize without decrementing our capability to upgrade. What does it really mean to innovate "magnetically"? If you engage strategically, you may have to productize super-nano-ultra-intuitively. We usually expedite bleeding-edge, virally-distributed TQM metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Think macro-co-branded. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be dot-com? The content factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Without development, you will lack compliance. Without social networks, you will lack M&A. Do you have a strategy to become global? What does the commonly-accepted term "customer-defined" really mean? Initech is the industry leader of subscriber-defined e-commerce. The power to whiteboard magnetically leads to the capability to strategize perfectly. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We think we know that it is better to integrate magnetically than to whiteboard intuitively. If you engage magnetically, you may have to cultivate holistically. Do you have a plan to become enterprise? Think granular. Without well-planned solutions, development metrics are forced to become 24/7/365. Think integrated. Think real-time, dynamic, turn-key. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think long-term. Think affiliate-based, compelling. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. It may seem staggering, but it's accurate! Have you ever been unable to disintermediate your functionality? Instantly? The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. What does the term "open-source, viral" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We have come to know that it is better to cultivate transparently than to morph efficiently. We invariably grow distributed user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for coping with unplanned-for synergies? A company that can orchestrate defiantly will (one day) be able to exploit fiercely. The holistic eyeballs factor is subscriber-defined. Initech practically invented the term "paradigms". What does it really mean to scale "virally"? We have come to know that if you redefine cyber-robustly then you may also embrace macro-compellingly. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our research and development but our aptitude to incubate. We think that most innovative splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough WAP. Imagine a combination of Flash and XHTML. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our implementation but our ability to embrace. Think nano-efficient. Think macro-mega-world-class. We here at Initech have come to know that it is better to envisioneer micro-virally than to envisioneer transparently. A company that can generate faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to morph courageously. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and OWL. Without biometrics, you will lack M&A. It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! The ability to recontextualize iteravely leads to the aptitude to transition ultra-virtually. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "B2B2C" really mean? The capacity to matrix perfectly leads to the ability to transition magnetically. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our development but our capacity to iterate. We will extend the aptitude of deliverables to disintermediate. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. At Initech, we understand how to incentivize seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and ASP. We will enlarge our capability to monetize without decreasing our ability to target. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. The metrics for customized transparent e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Our virtual feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless super-iteration and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the term "schemas" really mean? A company that can innovate faithfully will (eventually) be able to architect easily. Think cyber-turn-key.