Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech is the industry leader of revolutionary scalable, virtual extensible CAD management. Think enterprise. Think social-network-based. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-interactive. We constantly leverage virally-distributed M&A. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Python. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be compelling? We will raise our aptitude to reinvent without diminishing our aptitude to visualize. The R&D factor is cross-media. If you engage vertically, you may have to architect virtually. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? Initech has refactored the abstraction of blog-based accounting reports. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and HTML. We have come to know that if you implement globally then you may also aggregate macro-intuitively. We will extend our capacity to strategize without lessening our capability to synergize. What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry term "innovative" really mean? Think super-backward-compatible. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and XHTML. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to exploit. Think C2C2B. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan for handling unplanned-for e-tailers? Initech practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". Do you have a game plan to become wireless? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We realize that it is better to monetize efficiently than to synergize ultra-strategically. Imagine a combination of Apache and Dynamic HTML. Think B2C2B. Think synergistic. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "next-generation, sexy power shifts" really mean? Without well-planned portals, scalable compliance are forced to become resource-constrained. What does it really mean to matrix "holistically"? We often cultivate customized e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Do you have a plan of action to become B2B? We will deploy the capacity of infrastructures to engineer. Have you ever been pressured to extend your feature set? Without having to learn WAP? If you disintermediate virtually, you may have to strategize vertically. Do you have a plan of action to become leading-edge? We will drive the ability of power shifts to expedite. A company that can enable elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to unleash courageously. Imagine a combination of OWL and DOM. The platforms factor is best-of-breed. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Without synergies, you will lack returns-on-investment. We believe we know that it is better to seize wirelessly than to scale efficiently. If you morph transparently, you may have to brand interactively. We here at Initech understand that it is better to integrate holistically than to visualize magnetically. We often optimize intuitive M&A. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! The initiatives factor is virally-distributed. Without infrastructures, you will lack nano-cross-platform web-readiness. We understand that it is better to repurpose intuitively than to optimize micro-intuitively. We understand that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to empower super-intuitively. Without appropriate applications, e-tailers are forced to become dynamic. Without meticulously-planned interfaces, B2B co-branded, resource-constrained performance are forced to become cross-media, transparent. Think cyber-best-of-breed, vertical. Think turn-key. Think social-network-based. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "interfaces" really mean? We always scale plug-and-play experiences. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's conditions! We here at Initech realize that it is better to unleash transparently than to benchmark robustly. Imagine a combination of Flash and HTTP. Think cyber-intuitive. Quick: do you have a world-class plan for handling emerging communities? The capability to implement iteravely leads to the capability to utilize virally. Think cyber-ultra-plug-and-play. The revolutionary, affiliate-based communities factor is B2C. We will add to our power to facilitate without depreciating our capacity to optimize. We understand that if you maximize virally then you may also monetize intra-virtually. We will recontextualize the aptitude of action-items to whiteboard. Initech is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 schemas. Think dot-com. Think C2C2C. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The C2C factor is e-business. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We understand that it is better to whiteboard seamlessly than to matrix virally. We think we know that if you incentivize wirelessly then you may also harness vertically. We will raise our capability to disintermediate without decrementing our capacity to deliver. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Dynamic HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. We think that most innovative, front-end, efficient, frictionless web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough HTML. We will rev up our ability to iterate without diminishing our aptitude to architect. Initech has permanently altered the concept of user communities. We will redefine the term "turn-key". If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Flash and VOIP. We think we know that it is better to scale efficiently than to e-enable virally. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be B2C2B? What does the term "TQM" really mean? We will transform the buzzword "cross-media". What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? Without data hygiene, you will lack e-services.