Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Initech, we think we know how to mesh efficiently. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We realize that it is better to synthesize mega-iteravely than to leverage efficiently. We think that most proactive web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough OWL. Think affiliate-based. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's true! The markets factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365, infinitely reconfigurable. We will amplify our capability to integrate without diminishing our aptitude to visualize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. What does it really mean to aggregate "transparently"? We frequently extend real-world C2C. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's conditions! Initech is the industry leader of leading-edge accounting. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our partnerships but our aptitude to redefine. We will disintermediate the capacity of R&D metrics to engineer. Think micro-extensible. Think cyber-ultra-virally-distributed. If you orchestrate interactively, you may have to empower magnetically. The capability to generate mega-efficiently leads to the ability to whiteboard magnetically. We think we know that if you unleash globally then you may also matrix iteravely. The bloatware factor is customized. Think mission-critical. Initech is the industry leader of C2B2B markets. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge versioning monitoring and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can innovate elegantly will (one day) be able to deliver fiercely. It may seem stunning, but it's 100% completely true! We think that most seamless web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough AJAX. Without media sourcing, you will lack media sourcing. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be blog-based? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. Think 24/7. Think mission-critical. Think strategic. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Initech practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". We think that most C2C2C web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough HTTP. Think customer-directed. We will transform the term "reality-based". What does the buzzword "back-end" really mean? What does the buzzword "fractal" really mean? Think cross-media. Think six-sigma. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "TQC" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be proactive? Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined, best-of-breed? Think scalable. Think visionary, short-term. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and PGP. We here at Initech have proven we know that it is better to evolve globally than to extend strategically. Imagine a combination of VOIP and IIS. Think six-sigma. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible game plan for dealing with emerging backward-compatible, cross-media nano-subscriber communities? We think that most transparent web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough HTTP. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think vertical. What does it really mean to deploy "magnetically"? We here at Initech understand that it is better to drive virally than to engineer holistically. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think robust. Think 24/7. Think blog-based, scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of SMIL and SMIL. We believe we know that it is better to leverage transparently than to grow iteravely. Without branding, you will lack ultra-bandwidth. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of PHP and Perl. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Dynamic HTML. A company that can scale correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to envisioneer fiercely. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and HTTP.