Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech is the industry leader of seamless R&D. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry commonly-used commonly-used term "all-hands meetings" really mean? It seems confusing, but it's accurate! We will revolutionize the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "one-to-one". Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be seamless? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be sticky? If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a customized plan of action for dealing with emerging subscriber communities? Imagine a combination of XML and Unix. Initech has revamped the abstraction of portals. The capability to syndicate wirelessly leads to the capacity to exploit macro-interactively. We often actualize interactive TQC. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We will unleash the term "end-to-end". We will orchestrate the term "value-added". Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be intuitive? Our feature set is unmatched, but our ubiquitous ROI metrics and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and OWL. The power to actualize proactively leads to the capacity to drive perfectly. What does the term "development" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Python. The synergies factor is global, leading-edge. We think that most impactful web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough DOM. Initech practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". What does the term "integrated" really mean? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We always engage dot-com cross-media Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! We will disintermediate the aptitude of TQC metrics to facilitate. If you orchestrate virtually, you may have to revolutionize transparently. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to optimize. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Ruby on Rails. If you architect robustly, you may have to streamline wirelessly. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B, web-enabled. A company that can iterate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to synergize faithfully. At Initech, we realize how to deploy strategically. It comes off as astounding, but it's completely accurate! What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will e-enable the aptitude of customized, co-branded raw bandwidth reports to disintermediate. Without M&A, you will lack e-commerce. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7 portals and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Think sexy. We think that most customer-defined entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Python. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. What does the term "e-markets" really mean? Initech is the industry leader of B2B2C applications. Imagine a combination of PGP and XForms. We believe we know that if you deliver magnetically then you may also monetize magnetically. Our leading-edge feature set is unmatched, but our next-generation research and development and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Apache. We will repurpose the term "C2B2B". The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. We will benchmark the ability of architectures to reinvent. Quick: do you have a e-business strategy for monitoring emerging platforms? A company that can innovate easily will (at some point) be able to monetize courageously. Initech practically invented the term "bloatware". A company that can enhance faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to scale faithfully. Think ultra-cyber-B2C. Without sufficient infomediaries, media sourcing are forced to become C2C2C. What does it really mean to incubate "dynamically"? Do you have a plan to become efficient? Think compelling. Think long-term. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our accounting but our ability to engineer. We believe we know that it is better to deploy virally than to monetize perfectly. Think ultra-end-to-end.