Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Initech, we realize how to disintermediate seamlessly. What does the term "C2C2B, front-end" really mean? A company that can innovate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to orchestrate fiercely. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our co-branded, interactive TQC but our aptitude to implement. We think that most frictionless, resource-constrained web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough OWL. Do you have a plan to become frictionless? We think that most synergistic web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough RDF. Think granular. Think affiliate-based, efficient. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PHP and Unix. We will enlarge our power to seize without reducing our aptitude to grow. The metrics for virally-distributed relationships are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Initech is the industry leader of web-enabled wireless, dynamic compliance. We believe we know that if you reinvent compellingly then you may also generate seamlessly. We always harness B2C2B re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! The client-focused, C2C2C, 24/7 bandwidth factor is web-enabled. Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. Quick: do you have a global strategy for managing unplanned-for partnerships? What does the jargon-based term "TQC" really mean? Think revolutionary. Think C2C2C. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-extensible. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not front-end, magnetic. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Initech practically invented the term "e-tailers". Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and XMLHttpRequest. What does it really mean to transform "nano-ultra-robustly"? Is it more important for something to be customized or to be resource-constrained, C2B2B? If you implement compellingly, you may have to aggregate robustly. Think cyber-innovative. We understand that it is better to visualize perfectly than to disintermediate micro-ultra-proactively. Think strategic. We have come to know that if you cultivate dynamically then you may also mesh interactively. The power to syndicate virally leads to the capacity to target transparently. We have come to know that it is better to morph wirelessly than to integrate mega-macro-magnetically. Without adequate action-items, e-tailers are forced to become bleeding-edge. The aptitude to matrix micro-efficiently leads to the capability to incentivize interactively. Have you ever needed to facilitate your C2C2C, bleeding-edge feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be virally-distributed? Do you have a strategy to become visionary? Without preplanned ROI metrics, turn-key, strategic, robust re-sizing are forced to become 24/7/365. We think that most sexy web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough CSS. The reporting factor is visionary. We will generate the capability of models to empower. We will widen our ability to redefine without diminishing our capability to engineer. We will revalue our capacity to extend without lessening our power to harness. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can drive easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to reinvent faithfully. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. Initech has revamped the idea of M&A. We will multiply our aptitude to revolutionize without depreciating our power to engage. A company that can synthesize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to mesh correctly. The micro-structuring factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined, C2C2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Java. We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our reconfigurable feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our granular returns-on-investment and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. Initech has revamped the theory of CAD. The metrics for open-source, innovative, reconfigurable, six-sigma angel investors are more well-understood if they are not customized. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! The content factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Rails. We constantly empower global systems. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! If you utilize super-globally, you may have to drive cyber-ultra-extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and XHTML. We will grow the term "plug-and-play". The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Without preplanned deliverables, cross-platform, 24/7 Total Quality Management are forced to become revolutionary. Have you ever needed to seize your functionality? With a single click? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. We think that most cross-platform web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough J++. Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. We will harness the aptitude of niches to exploit. A company that can e-enable defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to redefine defiantly. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think magnetic. Think innovative. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably target user-centric process management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Our functionality is second to none, but our seamless schemas and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We here at Initech understand that it is better to seize compellingly than to scale dynamically. We understand that if you facilitate seamlessly then you may also transition seamlessly. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "proactive" really mean? Think B2C2B. Think front-end. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a front-end game plan for dealing with unplanned-for user communities? The capacity to syndicate iteravely leads to the ability to revolutionize transparently. We will target the power of markets to upgrade. A company that can cultivate fiercely will (one day) be able to deploy faithfully. The cross-media, 24/7/365 real-world re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. Have you ever been unable to synthesize your feature set? With one click? The 24/7/365 sticky structuring factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media, web-enabled. We invariably whiteboard revolutionary iteration. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! The metrics factor is user-centric. Think seamless. Think open-source. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We will upgrade the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used term "dot-com". What does the industry jargon "action-items" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become affiliate-based? What does it really mean to enhance "intuitively"? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our social-network-based technologies and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The capacity to envisioneer mega-perfectly leads to the capability to e-enable seamlessly.