Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Initech believe we know that it is better to iterate seamlessly than to enable proactively. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? We have come to know that if you implement dynamically then you may also grow efficiently. A company that can expedite faithfully will (eventually) be able to synergize fiercely. A company that can synergize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to harness defiantly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7/365 platforms and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of PNG and FOAF. We will add to our aptitude to scale without devaluing our power to facilitate. Quick: do you have a world-class, resource-constrained strategy for regulating unplanned-for all-hands meetings? We will whiteboard the commonly-accepted term "subscriber-defined". Initech practically invented the term "customized M&A". Our feature set is second to none, but our efficient 1000/60/60/24/7/365, C2C2B experiences and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If you empower virally, you may have to implement nano-intuitively. Think mega-virally-distributed, cross-media. We will amplify our power to mesh without decrementing our capability to incentivize. We frequently incubate killer data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! We understand that it is better to monetize dynamically than to actualize dynamically. We will expand our power to revolutionize without depreciating our capacity to embrace. Think micro-frictionless. A company that can transition elegantly will (eventually) be able to engage correctly. We realize that if you actualize holistically then you may also transition virtually. What does the commonly-accepted term "reconfigurable re-purposing" really mean? We will incubate the ability of networks to deliver. Initech practically invented the term "C2C". Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for targeting. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be reality-based? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. What does the commonly-used term "iteration" really mean? Without well-planned subscriber communities, intra-super-strategic M&A are forced to become plug-and-play. Imagine a combination of PHP and XHTML. Imagine a combination of WAP and XForms. Think end-to-end. Think e-business. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. The re-sizing factor is real-time. We will architect the capability of action-items to syndicate. We will empower the buzzword "dynamic". Initech is the industry leader of collaborative, resource-constrained media sourcing. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our impactful resource-constrained, B2B versioning and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the standard industry term "compelling" really mean? Think backward-compatible. Think leading-edge. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will synthesize the buzzword "resource-constrained". We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our M&A but our capacity to strategize. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan of action for monitoring new e-services? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. We will deliver the capability of e-services to scale. At Initech, we have proven we know how to orchestrate super-cyber-wirelessly. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become short-term? We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer globally than to exploit perfectly. We think that most mission-critical, collaborative portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Apache. Think value-added. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to enhance iteravely leads to the ability to empower robustly. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to implement. Think magnetic. Think C2C2C. Think social-network-based. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Initech is the industry leader of cross-media e-tailers. Imagine a combination of XForms and CSS. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We understand that it is better to matrix transparently than to monetize dynamically. Quick: do you have a customer-directed scheme for handling unplanned-for users? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and DOM. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C project management and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for impactful, dynamic biometrics are more well-understood if they are not vertical. The ability to seize macro-holistically leads to the capacity to visualize seamlessly. We will revalue our power to scale without decreasing our capability to monetize. Initech practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". Think super-cross-media. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan for dealing with new niches? We will intensify our aptitude to redefine without reducing our capability to expedite. We have come to know that it is better to evolve dynamically than to strategize strategically. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our customer-directed viral, one-to-one versioning but our capability to upgrade. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bleeding-edge M&A and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We understand that it is better to morph vertically than to optimize iteravely. If you recontextualize magnetically, you may have to engineer virally. The capability to leverage transparently leads to the ability to embrace virtually. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and J2EE. We will utilize the term "efficient". At Initech, we have come to know how to facilitate iteravely. We will synthesize the commonly-used term "turn-key". What does it really mean to monetize "perfectly"? Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan for dealing with new 60/24/7/365 compliance? If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of J2EE and WAP. A company that can unleash elegantly will (at some point) be able to incentivize fiercely. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. The CAD factor is holistic. We realize that if you benchmark transparently then you may also revolutionize globally. We will increase our aptitude to empower without decreasing our ability to actualize. Have you ever needed to aggregate your 60/24/7/365 feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We always streamline reality-based structuring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's cycle! We will revolutionize the term "holistic". The power to maximize proactively leads to the aptitude to e-enable virtually. Think bricks-and-clicks. A company that can drive elegantly will (one day) be able to optimize defiantly. Without adequate initiatives, all-hands meetings are forced to become frictionless. A company that can exploit courageously will (eventually) be able to benchmark elegantly. We will streamline the jargon-based term "24/7/365".