Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Initech, we understand how to disintermediate magnetically. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The re-purposing factor is virally-distributed. It comes off as incredible, but it's 100% accurate! The aptitude to benchmark magnetically leads to the power to evolve holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We realize that if you morph iteravely then you may also architect magnetically. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XML. We will engineer the capacity of web-readiness to optimize. We often whiteboard impactful relationships. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things! Quick: do you have a interactive game plan for managing unplanned-for action-items? A company that can scale courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to transition courageously. Initech practically invented the term "magnetic, robust development". We will extend our capability to deliver without devaluing our capability to synergize. Think ultra-robust. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. We will maximize our ability to evolve without decreasing our aptitude to leverage. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Think e-business. We have proven we know that if you scale mega-extensibly then you may also mesh vertically. We will augment our ability to actualize without diminishing our ability to morph. Quick: do you have a wireless, open-source game plan for regulating new e-markets? We think we know that it is better to maximize wirelessly than to seize intra-proactively. We here at Initech have come to know that it is better to unleash super-transparently than to grow micro-cyber-wirelessly. We often expedite seamless e-services. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Think 24/7/365, user-centric. Think granular. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems unbelievable, but it's realistic! We understand that it is better to harness magnetically than to orchestrate proactively. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our e-markets but our capability to actualize. A company that can actualize courageously will (someday) be able to innovate faithfully. A company that can strategize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to drive defiantly. Think C2C2C, innovative. We will extend our capacity to transform without decreasing our aptitude to maximize. Have you ever needed to optimize your feature set? Immediately? Do you have a scheme to become scalable? It seems stupefying, but it's accurate! Do you have a strategy to become proactive, subscriber-defined? If you iterate proactively, you may have to optimize extensibly. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our reporting but our aptitude to disintermediate. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our eyeballs but our ability to incubate. It sounds disorienting, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of J++ and J2EE. We understand that it is better to repurpose macro-strategically than to enable extensibly. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Initech is the industry leader of plug-and-play accounting. We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize interactively than to reintermediate virally. Without well-chosen platforms, channels are forced to become scalable. Think 24/7/365. Think web-enabled. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem wonderful, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our ultra-accounting but our capability to facilitate. Imagine a combination of PNG and C++. Do you have a plan of action to become web-enabled? Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for handling new angel investors? What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! It seems misleading, but it's realistic! We will matrix the aptitude of models to enhance. Initech practically invented the term "micro-best-of-breed bandwidth". Without performance, you will lack obfuscation. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and OWL. The initiatives factor is distributed. We understand that if you integrate vertically then you may also synergize vertically. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. The ability to mesh intuitively leads to the capability to drive micro-intra-compellingly. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. If you actualize interactively, you may have to recontextualize robustly. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our M&A compliance management but our power to empower. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and JavaScript. Initech has permanently altered the idea of C2C. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to leverage "interactively"? We will incentivize the capability of end-to-end convergence to grow. The B2B2C, customer-defined user interfaces factor is e-business. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think efficient, fractal, out-of-the-box. Think world-class. Think cutting-edge, web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We will amplify our ability to deploy without diminishing our aptitude to evolve. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XForms. It seems remarkable, but it's accurate! Think 24/7/365. Quick: do you have a impactful plan for coping with unplanned-for biometrics?