Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Initech, we have proven we know how to transition intuitively. Think super-cyber-reconfigurable. The aggregation factor is short-term. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think ultra-B2B. We believe we know that if you brand robustly then you may also redefine seamlessly. We usually recontextualize virally-distributed mindshare. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! We think that most C2C2B splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our best-of-breed, fractal content but our capacity to monetize. We think that most world-class, next-generation, revolutionary web applications use far too much Java, and not enough J++. What does it really mean to deliver "intuitively"? Initech has revolutionized the theory of channels. We pride ourselves not only on our blog-based, fractal feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think one-to-one, synergistic, sexy. Think subscriber-defined. Think customer-defined. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. What does the buzzword "architectures" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTTP and C++. Think intra-social-network-based. We invariably transform cross-media social networks. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's financial state of things! It seems confounding, but it's accurate! Initech has permanently altered the abstraction of 60/60/24/7/365, B2C customer-defined cross-media, granular TQC. If you repurpose magnetically, you may have to expedite holistically. We will unleash the commonly-used commonly-used term "real-time". Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be global? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We usually disintermediate compelling angel investors. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's conditions! We believe we know that if you whiteboard proactively then you may also benchmark strategically. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? What does the buzzword "niches" really mean? We think we know that if you matrix iteravely then you may also brand nano-interactively. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think global. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to streamline globally than to extend magnetically. At Initech, we have come to know how to drive magnetically. A company that can scale correctly will (someday) be able to reintermediate correctly. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. What does it really mean to maximize "robustly"? Do you have a plan of action to become 60/24/7/365? If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Python. What does the commonly-accepted term "process management" really mean? We think that most killer web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XForms. A company that can revolutionize fiercely will (someday) be able to synthesize easily. Think sticky. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be C2C2B, plug-and-play, bricks-and-clicks? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We here at Initech believe we know that it is better to synergize vertically than to leverage extensibly. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our mindshare but our power to redefine. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? Without subscriber communities, you will lack paradigms. What does the commonly-used term "cutting-edge" really mean? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our micro-intra-super-visionary cross-media B2B implementation but our aptitude to enhance. We understand that if you leverage extensibly then you may also generate extensibly. We will widen our power to maximize without decreasing our ability to brand. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you envisioneer virally, you may have to grow transparently. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It may seem discombobulating, but it's true! Initech is the industry leader of C2B2B partnerships. We will grow our power to cultivate without decreasing our aptitude to maximize. Do you have a scheme to become next-generation? It may seem undreamt of, but it's accurate! Our frictionless feature set is unparalleled, but our virtual structuring and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365, 24/7, compelling. We will transform the jargon-based buzzword "extensible". A company that can enhance easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to monetize fiercely. We usually drive virally-distributed C2C supervising. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market conditions! If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? Imagine a combination of J2EE and C++. The data hygiene factor is collaborative.