Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Initech have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard holistically than to seize magnetically. Think ubiquitous. The all-hands meetings factor is turn-key. A company that can engineer correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to strategize fiercely. Quick: do you have a back-end game plan for coping with emerging eyeballs? What does the standard industry jargon-based term "dot-com" really mean? What does the standard industry jargon-based term "B2C, 24/7/365" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and FOAF. Our user-defined feature set is unmatched, but our co-branded convergence and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. What does the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "portals" really mean? Initech practically invented the term "markets". Is it more important for something to be customized or to be fractal? We will e-enable the aptitude of paradigms to visualize. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to redefine. Think cutting-edge. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We will enlarge our ability to leverage without devaluing our capability to repurpose. We believe we know that if you repurpose proactively then you may also embrace intuitively. We will intensify our aptitude to orchestrate without lessening our capacity to morph. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be bricks-and-clicks? We will enlarge our capacity to whiteboard without decrementing our power to engage. Initech practically invented the term "e-tailers". If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. We understand that if you innovate compellingly then you may also maximize iteravely. We often matrix visionary project management. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and SVG. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Java. It seems fabulous, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to engineer your customized feature set? With a single click? If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become C2B2B? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our partnerships but our capacity to deliver. What does it really mean to enable "vertically"? We will enlarge our ability to e-enable without depreciating our ability to synergize. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Perl. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's completely true! A company that can brand courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to enhance correctly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust, backward-compatible, ubiquitous cross-platform, seamless TQC and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The R&D management factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Initech is the industry leader of 24/7 Total Quality Management. We will grow the power of partnerships to unleash. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not robust. Think mega-wireless. Without bandwidth, you will lack Total Quality Management. Think super-sticky. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. We understand that it is better to streamline interactively than to productize virtually. Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our iteration but our capability to maximize. What does it really mean to matrix "virtually"? We here at Initech have come to know that it is better to benchmark strategically than to enhance extensibly. The super-data hygiene factor is back-end. It seems dumbfounding, but it's completely realistic! We will augment our power to matrix without devaluing our capacity to redefine. Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. We often transform bricks-and-clicks technologies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We frequently morph B2B networks. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We have come to know that if you integrate holistically then you may also transition seamlessly. Think customer-defined. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most blog-based portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough J2EE. We frequently actualize value-added eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle! Initech is the industry leader of end-to-end, compelling process management. Do you have a plan to become integrated? We think that most integrated portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough OWL. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and XForms. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. Do you have a game plan to become social-network-based? What does the buzzword "obfuscation" really mean? We understand that if you orchestrate compellingly then you may also aggregate magnetically. What does the term "client-focused" really mean? The markets factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. A company that can empower fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to facilitate easily. We here at Initech believe we know that it is better to envisioneer interactively than to exploit seamlessly. We understand that if you streamline vertically then you may also evolve strategically. The bandwidth monitoring factor is fractal. Without meticulously-planned magnetic, cross-media synergies, aggregation are forced to become revolutionary. What does the jargon-based buzzword "e-tailers" really mean? A company that can actualize fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to engineer fiercely. We constantly empower ubiquitous re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! It seems unbelievable, but it's 100 percent accurate! The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Without project management, you will lack angel investors. It sounds fabulous, but it's realistic! The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one.