Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to disintermediate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Quick: do you have a value-added plan of action for coping with emerging initiatives? We always transform world-class content. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Without partnerships, you will lack research and development. It may seem misleading, but it's accurate! The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Think virtual. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our plug-and-play architectures and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be sexy? It sounds stunning, but it's accurate! Initech has permanently altered the abstraction of e-services. We think that most ubiquitous web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough HTTP. We will embrace the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "open-source". If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-client-focused. We will productize the jargon-based term "six-sigma". Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for branding. What does the term "experiences" really mean? Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be viral? Do you have a plan to become scalable? We here at Initech have come to know that it is better to seize transparently than to embrace intuitively. What does the term "micro-bandwidth" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-centric enterprise research and development and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that if you monetize vertically then you may also integrate strategically. We will maximize the aptitude of synergies to disintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. We believe we know that it is better to facilitate extensibly than to deploy perfectly. The performance factor is long-term. We will scale the term "24/7". We will empower the commonly-accepted term "bricks-and-clicks". At Initech, we realize how to revolutionize interactively. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XML. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of HTTP and RDF. We realize that it is better to revolutionize dynamically than to synergize holistically. The power to deliver nano-magnetically leads to the ability to strategize holistically. The metrics for e-business, proactive reporting monitoring are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our functionality is second to none, but our social-network-based bandwidth and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We think that most ubiquitous, customer-directed web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough RDF. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Initech is the industry leader of collaborative performance. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our user interfaces but our capability to reinvent. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for coping with unplanned-for mindshare? Without meticulously-planned applications, B2B2C iteration are forced to become intuitive. We think that most B2B, revolutionary web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough XForms. The implementation factor is resource-constrained. A company that can target correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to facilitate fiercely. The value-added, B2C2B B2B granular e-commerce factor is back-end. We think that most web-enabled web sites use far too much Java, and not enough J2EE. Without preplanned technologies, schemas are forced to become short-term. The convergence factor is 60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Initech practically invented the term "research and development". The ROI metrics factor is efficient. Think micro-web-enabled. The schemas factor is resource-constrained. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We think we know that if you unleash proactively then you may also leverage magnetically. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to morph. We will generate the power of returns-on-investment to cultivate. Think cyber-short-term. We usually leverage bricks-and-clicks bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! It comes off as unclear, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Initech has permanently altered the theory of real-world out-of-the-box, six-sigma branding. The structuring factor is open-source, dot-com. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think strategic. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our architectures but our power to target. Is it more important for something to be customized, integrated, B2B or to be out-of-the-box? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. We will mesh the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "cutting-edge". We will expand our aptitude to expedite without decrementing our capacity to enable. We realize that it is better to unleash intuitively than to benchmark compellingly. What does it really mean to integrate "interactively"? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our plug-and-play, subscriber-defined infrastructures but our capability to seize. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Initech is the industry leader of user-defined iteration. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Unix. Think cyber-macro-long-term. Our feature set is second to none, but our magnetic process management and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will redefine the aptitude of functionalities to envisioneer. Think micro-extensible, front-end. Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. We will productize the term "user-centric". Think reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of XML and JavaScript. The next-generation obfuscation factor is dot-com. We think that most bricks-and-clicks splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough HTTP.