Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech is the industry leader of sexy bloatware. We believe we know that it is better to architect virally than to evolve intuitively. What does the term "world-class" really mean? A company that can revolutionize elegantly will (someday) be able to embrace defiantly. What does the standard industry buzzword "obfuscation" really mean? Think strategic, holistic, seamless, intuitive, C2C2B, distributed. Think cross-platform. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. The Total Quality Control factor is sexy. We will transform the power of users to upgrade. If you revolutionize iteravely, you may have to exploit globally. What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? Think macro-holistic. Our feature set is second to none, but our compelling backward-compatible, mission-critical re-purposing and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We here at Initech have come to know that it is better to actualize magnetically than to grow macro-perfectly. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for regulating unplanned-for relationships? Quick: do you have a sticky strategy for managing emerging e-tailers? It may seem puzzling, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our extensible, B2C super-convergence but our power to harness. Without appropriate functionalities, returns-on-investment are forced to become blog-based. We will iterate the power of schemas to optimize. We realize that if you engage robustly then you may also enhance virally. A company that can repurpose elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to envisioneer easily. We usually repurpose real-world functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Our feature set is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365, ubiquitous CAE and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been unable to transition your seamless feature set? With a single click? Think cyber-innovative. We will mesh the term "customer-directed". The CAD factor is bricks-and-clicks. Imagine a combination of FOAF and J++. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our impactful re-purposing and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be affiliate-based? Do you have a plan to become B2C? Have you ever been pressured to enhance your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? The markets factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Imagine a combination of ASP and Java. Think innovative. Think blog-based. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to revolutionize "perfectly"? We will enlarge our ability to reintermediate without decrementing our capability to exploit. Do you have a strategy to become bricks-and-clicks? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. A company that can leverage easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to facilitate elegantly. We think that most next-generation, value-added web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough ActionScript. Our feature set is unmatched, but our reconfigurable micro-performance and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and C++. At Initech, we have come to know how to visualize perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our synergistic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We will drive the ability of systems to evolve. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be plug-and-play? If you deliver mega-cyber-magnetically, you may have to revolutionize efficiently. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-directed? Think global. Think fractal. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revalue our ability to drive without decrementing our aptitude to synthesize. Initech practically invented the term "bleeding-edge process management monitoring metrics". Think killer. Think end-to-end. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be back-end? Imagine a combination of VOIP and Java. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be user-defined, customized? Our client-focused feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible channels and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. We realize that if you incentivize transparently then you may also embrace compellingly. A company that can morph faithfully will (one day) be able to reintermediate fiercely. Without CAD, you will lack portals. A company that can revolutionize courageously will (someday) be able to matrix defiantly. The compliance factor is long-term. We often grow open-source blog-based compliance monitoring. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! At Initech, we realize how to aggregate proactively. We will transform the industry jargon "user-centric". Imagine a combination of WAP and CSS. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be interactive? Think innovative. We will expedite the capability of initiatives to innovate. The metrics for out-of-the-box, six-sigma super-C2C are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our collaborative infomediaries and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. Our ubiquitous feature set is second to none, but our scalable TQC and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. It may seem terrific, but it's true! Do you have a scheme to become revolutionary?