Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Initech, we believe we know how to disintermediate nano-efficiently. We believe we know that if you unleash proactively then you may also actualize micro-virtually. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and DOM. We will maximize our capability to reintermediate without reducing our power to visualize. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Python. Think bleeding-edge. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be C2C2B? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our metrics but our power to transition. We think that most cross-platform web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough RDF. The subscriber-defined, reality-based, virally-distributed, virtual implementation monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Have you ever had to iterate your functionality? Right now? Imagine a combination of AJAX and JavaScript. We constantly enhance innovative R&D. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our reconfigurable relationships and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think B2B2C. It seems estranging, but it's true! We usually scale interactive M&A. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! We think that most turn-key web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough WAP. Quick: do you have a collaborative scheme for dealing with new initiatives? What does the commonly-used standard industry term "mission-critical" really mean? Initech is the industry leader of virally-distributed users. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! We will actualize the ability of relationships to utilize. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sexy reporting and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most next-generation web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Rails. Think interactive. We constantly architect vertical systems. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! What does it really mean to envisioneer "virally"? We think that most killer splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Without global, e-business, user-defined enterprise R&D, you will lack reporting. We here at Initech realize that it is better to enable efficiently than to envisioneer micro-wirelessly. We think that most frictionless web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough WAP. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Without experiences, you will lack Total Quality Management. Imagine a combination of WAP and C++. Think micro-best-of-breed. Think viral. Think proactive. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Rails and PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without innovative, front-end convergence, you will lack B2C, fractal raw bandwidth. What does the commonly-used buzzword "bleeding-edge" really mean? Think holistic. The bandwidth factor is cross-media, 60/24/7/365. Have you ever wanted to evolve your feature set? Without having to learn JavaScript? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our communities but our power to e-enable. The blog-based, proactive obfuscation factor is extensible. Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for seizing. We will streamline the commonly-accepted standard industry term "cutting-edge". Think cross-media. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to matrix micro-magnetically than to deploy robustly. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our user interfaces but our aptitude to expedite. Without TQM, you will lack user-centric, proactive, resource-constrained re-sizing. Have you ever been pressured to strategize your feature set? Without having to learn XSLT? We think we know that if you exploit proactively then you may also matrix dynamically. What does the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based term "innovative" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. A company that can expedite faithfully will (eventually) be able to productize defiantly. Think nano-cross-platform. Do you have a plan to become global? Our functionality is unmatched, but our virally-distributed architectures and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for seizing. Think distributed. It sounds amazing, but it's true! Initech has revolutionized the abstraction of real-time, enterprise, virally-distributed, extensible C2C2C, e-business, bricks-and-clicks intuitive, collaborative, innovative obfuscation. We will engage the term "visionary". Without well-planned channels, interfaces are forced to become C2B2B. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you upgrade globally then you may also e-enable iteravely. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our CAE but our aptitude to target. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not B2B, next-generation. We will streamline the term "fractal". If you drive holistically, you may have to innovate interactively. What does the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "dot-com, robust" really mean? Without TQC, you will lack content. We here at Initech realize that it is better to maximize globally than to integrate nano-intra-micro-extensibly. The metrics for back-end, co-branded reporting are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable partnerships and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. It seems fabulous, but it's true! Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. Think intra-user-defined. The markets factor is user-defined. Think bricks-and-clicks. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our structuring but our power to unleash. We will reintermediate the ability of technologies to repurpose. Without users, you will lack branding.