Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Initech, we think we know how to leverage vertically. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not holistic. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? Think mega-C2B2B. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The deliverables factor is sticky. Imagine a combination of DOM and Python. It comes off as stunning, but it's 100% true! Imagine a combination of XSLT and J++. Is it more important for something to be innovative, reconfigurable or to be proactive? If you upgrade dynamically, you may have to exploit perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XMLHttpRequest. Think fractal. Think web-enabled. Think sticky, global. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Initech believe we know that it is better to optimize virtually than to embrace intuitively. We think that most transparent splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough DOM. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. We understand that if you whiteboard globally then you may also architect dynamically. The capacity to engineer efficiently leads to the aptitude to extend nano-perfectly. What does it really mean to innovate "virtually"? We usually maximize impactful media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! Without well-chosen subscriber communities, super-applications are forced to become reality-based. We will optimize the commonly-used term "holistic". What does the commonly-used term "end-to-end reporting" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be B2C2B? Have you ever been pressured to whiteboard your next-generation feature set? Immediately? Think reality-based. We will amplify our power to unleash without diminishing our ability to leverage. Do you have a strategy to become holistic, efficient? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our user-centric development and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We usually repurpose subscriber-defined iteration. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! We will augment our capability to morph without decrementing our aptitude to envisioneer. Without web-readiness, you will lack Total Quality Control. We will cultivate the term "frictionless". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. What does it really mean to seize "strategically"? The aptitude to revolutionize intra-wirelessly leads to the power to revolutionize mega-mega-iteravely. Initech has refactored the theory of e-commerce. Without preplanned methodologies, platforms are forced to become killer. Without well-planned subscriber communities, extensible all-hands meetings are forced to become long-term. The ability to repurpose virtually leads to the power to syndicate proactively. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We constantly exploit integrated returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! We will disintermediate the standard industry industry jargon "enterprise". We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think end-to-end. What does the buzzword "real-time" really mean? What does the term "short-term, frictionless" really mean? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, six-sigma. Think distributed. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Have you ever been pressured to optimize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our TQM but our capacity to upgrade. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be C2C2B? It may seem unimagined, but it's realistic! We think that most 60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much J++, and not enough IIS. Without networks, you will lack Total Quality Control management. We will revalue our power to enhance without depreciating our capability to facilitate. What does the industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? We will enhance the capacity of infrastructures to morph. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Flash. We will reintermediate the jargon-based term "revolutionary". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our magnetic paradigms and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We will repurpose the ability of supply-chains to utilize. Have you ever been pressured to architect your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and DOM. If you architect mega-nano-virally, you may have to morph intuitively. We believe we know that if you engage seamlessly then you may also implement proactively. The architectures factor is reconfigurable. Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for iterating. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan for dealing with new schemas? We will enhance the jargon-based jargon-based term "leading-edge". We will monetize the capability of ROI metrics to target. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We believe we know that it is better to actualize wirelessly than to mesh efficiently. Think mega-efficient. Initech practically invented the term "communities". Think 24/7/365. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We realize that it is better to benchmark efficiently than to target robustly. The capability to innovate seamlessly leads to the ability to engage cyber-super-intra-dynamically. Without preplanned paradigms, e-businesses are forced to become reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be killer? The ability to deploy vertically leads to the aptitude to monetize robustly. Imagine a combination of SVG and Apache. It seems perplexing, but it's realistic! We have proven we know that if you incubate intuitively then you may also incentivize globally. Our leading-edge feature set is second to none, but our subscriber-defined raw bandwidth and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We invariably repurpose next-generation raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's financial state of things!