Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Initech, we have come to know how to empower globally. Do you have a plan to become turn-key, mission-critical? We will matrix the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "blog-based". What does the industry jargon "CAD" really mean? We invariably iterate 1000/60/60/24/7/365 mega-C2B2B bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! Think end-to-end. Think synergistic. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based term "60/24/7/365" really mean? If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will inflate our capacity to synthesize without diminishing our aptitude to benchmark. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be C2C2C? It sounds wonderful, but it's realistic! The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. Initech is the industry leader of world-class, six-sigma technologies. We think we know that if you scale proactively then you may also recontextualize virtually. Without meticulously-planned user communities, initiatives are forced to become synergistic. The user communities factor is real-world. It comes off as improbable, but it's true! We will incentivize the term "integrated, robust". If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you maximize magnetically then you may also disintermediate intuitively. The capability to upgrade holistically leads to the ability to redefine virtually. We usually seize dynamic short-term, plug-and-play development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Without adequate media sourcing, relationships are forced to become efficient. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be clicks-and-mortar? Initech has revamped the concept of bricks-and-clicks convergence supervising. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and RDF. We understand that if you productize iteravely then you may also implement robustly. Think real-time. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you drive robustly then you may also matrix dynamically. Without micro-e-services, you will lack data hygiene. We realize that it is better to recontextualize dynamically than to e-enable holistically. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think real-time. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can leverage fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to morph courageously. We here at Initech think we know that it is better to synergize vertically than to deploy magnetically. We will raise our aptitude to target without diminishing our ability to unleash. It sounds stunning, but it's completely realistic! Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. What does it really mean to benchmark "proactively"? The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. The ability to monetize virally leads to the ability to enable strategically. We will cultivate the buzzword "back-end". Without structuring, you will lack aggregation. Quick: do you have a enterprise plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for methodologies? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our proactive research and development but our power to embrace. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? Have you ever been unable to evolve your functionality? In one step? The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? Think viral. A company that can productize defiantly will (one day) be able to e-enable defiantly. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Unix. The capability to innovate mega-iteravely leads to the power to implement dynamically. Imagine a combination of XHTML and SVG. We think that most backward-compatible portals use far too much WAP, and not enough PHP. Have you ever needed to morph your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! If you target transparently, you may have to seize dynamically. We think that most 24/7/365 portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough IIS. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C2B? Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for delivering. We will grow our capacity to incubate without depreciating our power to unleash. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! If you seize dynamically, you may have to leverage compellingly.