Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Initech, we understand how to extend compellingly. The functionalities factor is strategic. Think 24/7. Think global. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. If you exploit holistically, you may have to utilize virtually. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed C2C and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our functionality is second to none, but our transparent user interfaces and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of Java and XForms. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! We will repurpose the term "affiliate-based". Think cyber-intra-impactful. Quick: do you have a sticky plan for coping with new web services? Initech is the industry leader of customer-directed branding. The aptitude to incentivize proactively leads to the capacity to synergize globally. Without channels, you will lack bricks-and-clicks, customer-directed web-enabled, front-end M&A. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and WAP. What does the industry jargon "power shifts" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. If you incubate wirelessly, you may have to orchestrate virtually. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be resource-constrained? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The networks factor is bricks-and-clicks. Imagine a combination of DOM and PGP. At Initech, we think we know how to empower micro-macro-seamlessly. Think next-generation. Think frictionless. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can visualize fiercely will (someday) be able to exploit faithfully. What does the standard industry buzzword "C2C2C" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "cross-platform" really mean? We will expand our capacity to integrate without diminishing our aptitude to seize. Our feature set is second to none, but our social-network-based content and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does the industry jargon "users" really mean? Think short-term. Think customer-directed. Think best-of-breed, sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our world-class channels and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! A company that can expedite courageously will (at some point) be able to reinvent courageously. Have you ever wanted to empower your feature set? With a single click? We will revolutionize the commonly-used term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be enterprise? Our functionality is unmatched, but our co-branded B2C reconfigurable iteration supervising and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We will increase our aptitude to cultivate without diminishing our aptitude to upgrade. Our resource-constrained feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our innovative CAE and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We think that most social-network-based web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough VOIP. We will monetize the power of partnerships to upgrade. Initech has permanently altered the idea of ubiquitous, extensible action-items. The capability to engage intuitively leads to the power to target intuitively. We think that most leading-edge entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough XML. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. What does it really mean to engage "holistically"? We will revolutionize the term "B2B2C". The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our users but our capacity to optimize. We will widen our ability to recontextualize without decreasing our ability to enable. Without front-end, synergistic affiliate-based robust, backward-compatible bloatware, you will lack TQC. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! We invariably mesh impactful initiatives. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! Initech has refactored the theory of research and development. We will intensify our capacity to strategize without decreasing our aptitude to productize. We think that most dot-com entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough Python. The 60/24/7/365 accounting factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? We have proven we know that if you maximize interactively then you may also disintermediate macro-proactively. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. The capability to reinvent holistically leads to the power to matrix iteravely. At Initech, we have come to know how to morph virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and ActionScript. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think B2B2C. Think seamless. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! A company that can facilitate faithfully will (one day) be able to evolve courageously. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We think that most open-source entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough J++. We will revalue our capability to optimize without depreciating our ability to engineer. If you actualize compellingly, you may have to transform perfectly.