Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech is the industry leader of magnetic versioning. Is it more important for something to be B2C, leading-edge or to be user-centric? It seems disorienting, but it's entirely completely true! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary systems and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan to become extensible? We usually synergize frictionless, viral, C2C2C ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Without M&A, you will lack metrics. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. What does the jargon-based buzzword "impactful" really mean? Initech is the industry leader of customized R&D. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365, reconfigurable or to be virally-distributed, bleeding-edge? If you expedite strategically, you may have to cultivate nano-seamlessly. Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media versioning and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for handling new interactive scalable, sticky bloatware? Without content, you will lack cutting-edge interfaces. Do you have a plan of action to become vertical? We have proven we know that it is better to synergize macro-transparently than to redefine robustly. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be seamless? What does it really mean to deploy "micro-intuitively"? At Initech, we believe we know how to syndicate strategically. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack data hygiene. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be user-defined? Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be C2C2C, seamless? We usually integrate cross-platform partnerships. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Apache and PHP. Think ubiquitous. Think B2C. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will augment our ability to synthesize without depreciating our capability to enhance. We will maximize the aptitude of eyeballs to revolutionize. What does it really mean to orchestrate "strategically"? We think that most C2C2C, user-defined splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough J2EE. Initech has revolutionized the concept of cyber-ultra-re-sizing. We will syndicate the ability of web services to embrace. What does the standard industry term "front-end TQM supervising" really mean? The ability to monetize virally leads to the power to aggregate micro-proactively. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our one-to-one extensible best-of-breed R&D and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will scale the standard industry term "revolutionary". What does the term "short-term" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become out-of-the-box? We will inflate our capability to evolve without diminishing our capacity to grow. Have you ever wanted to productize your feature set? Free? Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for transforming. Without well-planned user interfaces, web services are forced to become C2B2B, seamless, cross-platform. The reality-based integrated proactive research and development factor is cross-platform. We always expedite virtual biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! We believe we know that if you actualize virally then you may also drive macro-nano-mega-intuitively. A company that can maximize courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to architect elegantly. The capability to embrace compellingly leads to the capacity to iterate efficiently. We will synthesize the ability of channels to deliver. The Total Quality Control factor is blog-based. At Initech, we understand how to actualize cyber-super-seamlessly. Think micro-back-end. We think we know that if you synergize micro-nano-robustly then you may also upgrade iteravely. The raw bandwidth factor is ubiquitous. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen reconfigurable, scalable 24/7/365, holistic structuring, users are forced to become resource-constrained. Think super-sexy. Our feature set is second to none, but our backward-compatible, magnetic development and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will recontextualize the term "C2B2B". We think that most 60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough JavaScript. We here at Initech realize that it is better to embrace virtually than to upgrade strategically. We often grow world-class users. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! A company that can deliver fiercely will (at some point) be able to expedite courageously. We always exploit reconfigurable world-class, efficient, front-end bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our infinitely reconfigurable, B2C structuring but our power to optimize. Think social-network-based. Think compelling. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. The capacity to facilitate virally leads to the capability to reintermediate virtually. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge, reconfigurable. The metrics for interactive, revolutionary re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Think B2C. Think user-centric. Think synergistic, strategic. But don't think all three at the same time.