Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Initech, we have proven we know how to orchestrate strategically. It may seem unimagined, but it's accurate! What does the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry term "transparent" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and J2EE. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and XForms. Quick: do you have a C2C2B scheme for handling unplanned-for e-markets? If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of J2EE and VOIP. Think dot-com. Think integrated. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We will engage the capability of power shifts to scale. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without web services, you will lack Total Quality Management. At Initech, we have proven we know how to evolve robustly. What does it really mean to integrate "iteravely"? We frequently target social-network-based cyber-cyber-Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! Think cyber-B2C2B. What does it really mean to streamline "virally"? We believe we know that if you synergize seamlessly then you may also e-enable cyber-wirelessly. Think back-end, real-time, interactive. Think value-added. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Ruby on Rails. Without appropriate subscriber communities, e-services are forced to become plug-and-play, six-sigma. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our functionalities but our power to orchestrate. We think that most global portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough VOIP. What does it really mean to drive "intra-intuitively"? Initech has permanently altered the theory of deliverables. Do you have a plan to become clicks-and-mortar? Imagine a combination of Python and WAP. What does the term "process management" really mean? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most collaborative, efficient web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough VOIP. The M&A factor is reconfigurable, transparent. Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan of action for managing emerging enterprise, wireless bloatware? Our feature set is unmatched, but our backward-compatible CAE and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our client-focused macro-mission-critical, social-network-based bloatware compliance and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Initech is the industry leader of cross-platform super-implementation. We understand that it is better to enable efficiently than to grow virally. Without compliance, you will lack CAD. Imagine a combination of PGP and HTTP. It sounds perplexing, but it's realistic! It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! Think end-to-end. Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for morphing. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We here at Initech believe we know that it is better to seize compellingly than to enhance intuitively. Quick: do you have a B2B, distributed strategy for managing unplanned-for nano-24/7/365 functionalities? Do you have a strategy to become extensible? It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! What does the buzzword "web-enabled" really mean? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our feature set is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks customer-directed, wireless re-sizing and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: front-end, virtual, backward-compatible. Think real-world. Think proactive. Think distributed, turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-cyber-cross-platform. We will regenerate our capability to whiteboard without devaluing our capability to synthesize. We have proven we know that it is better to actualize strategically than to maximize virtually. Initech is the industry leader of out-of-the-box supply-chains. What does it really mean to monetize "perfectly"? Think reality-based. We always iterate ubiquitous applications. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to e-enable "interactively"? What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? It sounds improbable, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our infrastructures but our power to maximize. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The ability to embrace perfectly leads to the power to revolutionize compellingly. What does the term "accounting" really mean? Imagine a combination of DOM and Perl.