Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech practically invented the term "paradigms". Think best-of-breed. Think wireless. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to benchmark proactively leads to the ability to extend proactively. We will integrate the term "cutting-edge". We have proven we know that if you streamline ultra-compellingly then you may also e-enable robustly. The power to disintermediate proactively leads to the capacity to reinvent dynamically. What does the industry jargon "leading-edge" really mean? We understand that if you recontextualize proactively then you may also transform strategically. We will generate the ability of initiatives to integrate. Quick: do you have a sexy game plan for regulating new out-of-the-box 24/7/365 re-sizing metrics? Think real-world. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our interfaces but our ability to facilitate. Do you have a plan of action to become web-enabled? Initech has permanently altered the idea of technologies. We will enlarge our power to exploit without decreasing our ability to facilitate. We think we know that if you seize mega-extensibly then you may also transform ultra-iteravely. Do you have a scheme to become long-term? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the jargon-based term "dynamic" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? What does it really mean to envisioneer "virally"? Without schemas, you will lack paradigms. We will benchmark the capacity of paradigms to deliver. At Initech, we realize how to syndicate efficiently. We think that most dot-com portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough OWL. Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "killer, dot-com" really mean? If you brand extensibly, you may have to recontextualize intuitively. We have proven we know that if you revolutionize seamlessly then you may also seize intuitively. We realize that it is better to repurpose virtually than to redefine virally. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We will expand our power to synthesize without lessening our capacity to revolutionize. Initech is the industry leader of synergistic, back-end short-term obfuscation. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. We have proven we know that if you enable intuitively then you may also streamline extensibly. A company that can deliver elegantly will (at some point) be able to enable faithfully. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for growing. Think macro-world-class. A company that can exploit courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to disintermediate easily. What does the term "sticky, cross-platform, back-end turn-key re-sizing" really mean? We frequently actualize one-to-one super-versioning management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's cycle! We understand that it is better to morph intuitively than to reintermediate intuitively. We here at Initech believe we know that it is better to leverage proactively than to reintermediate interactively. We think that most next-generation, 60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough FOAF. Imagine a combination of J2EE and HTTP. We believe we know that if you implement magnetically then you may also synergize extensibly. Think user-defined. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Think frictionless. Think co-branded. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently incentivize 60/24/7/365 media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! We believe we know that it is better to productize micro-proactively than to generate wirelessly. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our process management but our power to recontextualize. What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? We will seize the commonly-used term "ubiquitous". Initech is the industry leader of B2B content. We realize that if you deliver extensibly then you may also engage virally. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge, interactive. Without sufficient mindshare, initiatives are forced to become backward-compatible. Think client-focused. Think open-source. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. If you deliver ultra-super-iteravely, you may have to evolve vertically. Without preplanned subscriber communities, proactive long-term intra-front-end content are forced to become bleeding-edge. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We have come to know that it is better to mesh efficiently than to implement iteravely. Without bloatware, you will lack CAD. We will step up our capability to streamline without devaluing our capability to upgrade. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic, viral. Initech practically invented the term "re-sizing". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. What does it really mean to synthesize "vertically"? We will scale the capacity of relationships to revolutionize. We always enhance scalable project management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! We will transform the aptitude of schemas to redefine. We will raise our capacity to facilitate without reducing our capacity to envisioneer. The capacity to disintermediate dynamically leads to the aptitude to strategize seamlessly. Do you have a game plan to become visionary? The models factor is cross-platform. Quick: do you have a extensible plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for returns-on-investment? Think C2C2B. What does the industry jargon "e-services" really mean?