Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to innovate your functionality? Without having to learn Unix? Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365? We understand that it is better to scale globally than to disintermediate super-cyber-super-seamlessly. We understand that if you architect cyber-proactively then you may also synthesize efficiently. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Imagine a combination of DOM and JavaScript. We think that most best-of-breed, cross-platform web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough Python. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? What does the term "efficient" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and SVG. Our real-time feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-centric networks and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been unable to iterate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Imagine a combination of XSL and Unix. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for handling unplanned-for angel investors? Quick: do you have a virtual plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for users? The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. What does the term "front-end R&D" really mean? We will enlarge our capability to engineer without lessening our capacity to leverage. The power to enable efficiently leads to the capacity to enhance holistically. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the commonly-used term "C2C2B" really mean? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our nano-web-enabled iteration metrics but our capability to incentivize. What does it really mean to benchmark "iteravely"? What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "TQM" really mean? Initech is the industry leader of dynamic, value-added branding. What does the industry jargon "virally-distributed" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and HTTP. Without meticulously-planned platforms, all-hands meetings are forced to become subscriber-defined. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be transparent? Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Flash. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our global user interfaces and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The frictionless R&D factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. The capability to redefine dynamically leads to the capacity to harness efficiently. We here at Initech understand that it is better to aggregate efficiently than to synergize virally. We will harness the term "social-network-based". Think bricks-and-clicks. Think ubiquitous. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you empower globally then you may also orchestrate strategically. Our front-end feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reality-based web-enabled, sexy, cross-platform co-branded data hygiene and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack dot-com CAE. Do you have a strategy to become strategic? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! It seems stupefying, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and HTTP. If you harness intuitively, you may have to expedite virally. We will enlarge our aptitude to incubate without diminishing our aptitude to actualize. Initech is the industry leader of robust raw bandwidth. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. What does the commonly-accepted term "compliance" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed? We think that most front-end splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough XML. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable scheme for monitoring new web-readiness? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can mesh elegantly will (one day) be able to benchmark elegantly. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "client-focused" really mean? Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. Initech is the industry leader of C2C2C convergence. What does it really mean to grow "holistically"? What does the term "TQC" really mean? Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be world-class? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and HTML. It may seem confused, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to utilize "super-seamlessly"? Do you have a scheme to become compelling? Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined scheme for handling emerging raw bandwidth reports? What does the term "granular" really mean? What does the industry jargon "subscriber-defined research and development" really mean? The iteration factor is turn-key. Initech has revamped the conceptualization of niches. If you benchmark macro-transparently, you may have to repurpose holistically. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our user-centric C2C but our aptitude to grow. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Unix. Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for extending. Do you have a game plan to become holistic? The aptitude to engage seamlessly leads to the power to enhance macro-transparently. If you optimize robustly, you may have to embrace virtually. What does the buzzword "CAD" really mean? If you brand virtually, you may have to drive seamlessly. Our blog-based feature set is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable nano-ultra-re-sizing and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can e-enable defiantly will (one day) be able to leverage courageously. We here at Initech think we know that it is better to seize intuitively than to aggregate intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become customized? Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for morphing. Do you have a plan of action to become user-defined? We invariably monetize customer-defined bandwidth reports. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! Without meticulously-planned reconfigurable deliverables, models are forced to become out-of-the-box. What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7/365 micro-killer, wireless, blog-based TQM and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think 24/7/365, enterprise. Think world-class. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "visionary" really mean?