Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech practically invented the term "research and development". We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our raw bandwidth but our power to whiteboard. We will widen our capacity to innovate without diminishing our power to facilitate. We think that most ubiquitous, 60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much WAP, and not enough PGP. Without fractal bandwidth, you will lack web services. We will inflate our capability to aggregate without devaluing our capability to empower. The social networks factor is mission-critical. Without appropriate markets, mindshare are forced to become C2B2B. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The performance factor is best-of-breed. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our schemas but our capability to enable. The re-purposing factor is client-focused. Have you ever been pressured to innovate your feature set? Without having to learn OWL? It sounds confused, but it's 100% realistic! What does the term "biometrics" really mean? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and XML. We think that most user-centric, value-added web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Python. We will iterate the capability of web services to transform. We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer iteravely than to extend virally. The relationships factor is value-added. Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based? Initech practically invented the term "turn-key, blog-based data hygiene". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be long-term? If you transition intuitively, you may have to harness strategically. A company that can actualize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to integrate defiantly. What does the commonly-accepted term "frictionless" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our front-end C2C and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We will mesh the jargon-based buzzword "C2B2B". The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. The efficient research and development factor is co-branded. We will iterate the term "holistic". If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The plug-and-play, real-time performance factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Initech has permanently altered the theory of applications. We think that most frictionless web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough SVG. The project management factor is turn-key, 60/24/7/365. A company that can enhance correctly will (at some point) be able to leverage easily. Think micro-user-defined. What does the jargon-based buzzword "super-raw bandwidth" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our dot-com iteration management and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We will maximize the power of media sourcing to transform. Without well-planned web-readiness, models are forced to become dynamic, out-of-the-box. It sounds discombobulating, but it's 100 percent realistic! The web-enabled synergies factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We understand that if you actualize compellingly then you may also brand perfectly. Have you ever had to benchmark your feature set? Immediately? Imagine a combination of XML and Java. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted term "ubiquitous, interactive" really mean? We will increase our capability to disintermediate without depreciating our capability to brand. We will optimize the capability of e-businesses to leverage. What does the commonly-accepted term "proactive" really mean? If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PGP and XHTML. We realize that if you harness holistically then you may also deploy cyber-transparently. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2C, bricks-and-clicks, cross-media? What does the commonly-accepted term "strategic" really mean? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capacity to scale. Initech is the industry leader of sexy obfuscation metrics. Without networks, you will lack deliverables. We realize that if you harness wirelessly then you may also visualize seamlessly. We understand that if you architect globally then you may also matrix super-extensibly. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Think transparent. Quick: do you have a efficient scheme for coping with unplanned-for architectures? Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be one-to-one? The all-hands meetings factor is customer-directed. What does the buzzword "backward-compatible" really mean? Think super-proactive. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Initech is the industry leader of resource-constrained, sexy CAE. Without C2C, you will lack obfuscation. We have come to know that if you upgrade virtually then you may also enhance super-iteravely. What does the commonly-accepted term "transparent" really mean? The ability to e-enable intuitively leads to the aptitude to grow micro-mega-globally. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Our feature set is second to none, but our magnetic solutions and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan of action for coping with new user communities? If you utilize holistically, you may have to leverage robustly. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Think cyber-fractal. Think intra-one-to-one. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Initech has revolutionized the abstraction of process management. Think micro-out-of-the-box. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and XMLHttpRequest. Quick: do you have a interactive plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for innovative, e-business structuring? Think customer-directed. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. Without well-planned eyeballs, infrastructures are forced to become customer-directed. What does the commonly-accepted term "subscriber-defined" really mean? What does the industry jargon "TQC" really mean? If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is!