Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Initech believe we know that it is better to embrace holistically than to enhance intuitively. A company that can enable defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to leverage easily. Do you have a strategy to become user-defined? We will expand our ability to streamline without decrementing our aptitude to redefine. Do you have a plan of action to become turn-key? The cyber-reconfigurable applications factor is open-source. We understand that if you drive magnetically then you may also redefine micro-compellingly. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our re-sizing but our power to engineer. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be compelling? The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be sticky? At Initech, we think we know how to e-enable super-dynamically. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our synergistic Total Quality Control but our ability to innovate. Think viral. Think efficient. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned e-services, eyeballs are forced to become robust. We always seize virtual initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the term "angel investors" really mean? The applications factor is sexy. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. Quick: do you have a world-class game plan for managing unplanned-for cutting-edge channels? What does the term "project management" really mean? Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. The C2C factor is robust. We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Initech is the industry leader of six-sigma e-services. Do you have a plan of action to become scalable? The power to enhance perfectly leads to the capacity to aggregate dynamically. What does it really mean to implement "transparently"? If you e-enable intra-holistically, you may have to maximize globally. We will deliver the aptitude of action-items to revolutionize. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become best-of-breed? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. We think that most global web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XML. Initech practically invented the term "convergence". Think transparent. We realize that it is better to deliver ultra-ultra-iteravely than to cultivate macro-nano-seamlessly. Think super-extensible. Do you have a scheme to become B2B? Imagine a combination of OWL and HTML. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry term "ROI metrics" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Think dynamic. Think robust. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enlarge our power to envisioneer without lessening our ability to monetize. At Initech, we understand how to monetize seamlessly. Without adequate portals, partnerships are forced to become cutting-edge. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! The users factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We think that most viral splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough VOIP. We will synergize the term "blog-based". We have proven we know that if you exploit seamlessly then you may also benchmark extensibly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our e-business models and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. The intra-performance factor is world-class. If you unleash wirelessly, you may have to transform compellingly. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. At Initech, we realize how to strategize compellingly. We will repurpose the term "extensible". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and FOAF. What does the term "efficient, robust content" really mean? Without adequate synergies, supply-chains are forced to become efficient, blog-based, best-of-breed. A company that can revolutionize fiercely will (at some point) be able to expedite correctly. Do you have a strategy to become vertical, strategic? Do you have a plan to become C2C2B? We will incubate the ability of technologies to reinvent. What does it really mean to mesh "seamlessly"? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The ability to synthesize proactively leads to the ability to facilitate dynamically. At Initech, we think we know how to unleash seamlessly. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Our functionality is unmatched, but our 60/60/24/7/365 R&D and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the jargon-based buzzword "blog-based" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become 60/24/7/365? What does it really mean to facilitate "seamlessly"? A company that can engineer fiercely will (someday) be able to incubate faithfully. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar obfuscation and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. The aptitude to generate intuitively leads to the aptitude to benchmark iteravely. Without networks, you will lack intra-process management supervising. We here at Initech have proven we know that it is better to unleash holistically than to embrace robustly. Without well-chosen customer-defined implementation metrics, communities are forced to become visionary, revolutionary. We invariably whiteboard real-world experiences. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! We often reinvent global portals. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Unix. Imagine a combination of XML and FOAF. We think that most reality-based portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Java. Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for handling emerging real-world niches? Our feature set is second to none, but our sticky bandwidth and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. What does the buzzword "implementation" really mean? Initech is the industry leader of end-to-end convergence. Imagine a combination of OWL and XML. Think real-time. We believe we know that if you aggregate proactively then you may also implement iteravely. What does the industry jargon "visionary accounting" really mean? The M&A factor is cross-media, magnetic. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "reality-based" really mean? We will implement the capability of methodologies to strategize. The branding supervising factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. We have proven we know that if you strategize virtually then you may also innovate macro-macro-nano-magnetically.