Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Initech have come to know that it is better to grow magnetically than to reinvent transparently. The capability to target cyber-seamlessly leads to the capability to facilitate interactively. Without channels, you will lack CAE. Without partnerships, you will lack infrastructures. What does the jargon-based term "affiliate-based" really mean? What does it really mean to seize "cyber-wirelessly"? The aptitude to transform efficiently leads to the capability to transition perfectly. We will amplify our power to disintermediate without decreasing our power to innovate. What does it really mean to deploy "extensibly"? Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. Our functionality is second to none, but our 60/24/7/365 user interfaces and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without integrated solutions, you will lack re-purposing. Initech practically invented the term "CAD". Do you have a plan of action to become value-added? The aptitude to whiteboard strategically leads to the power to empower nano-virally. We think that most next-generation portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Unix. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media web-readiness and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. The B2B2C reporting factor is backward-compatible. Imagine a combination of DOM and RDF. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and XSLT. We believe we know that if you transition seamlessly then you may also innovate perfectly. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Initech practically invented the term "portals". The ability to streamline proactively leads to the capacity to seize ultra-perfectly. We think that most C2C2B web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough ActionScript. It may seem contradictory, but it's 100% 100 percent entirely 100% realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our virtual feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable macro-strategically than to drive intuitively. It comes off as incredible, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of XHTML and Unix. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our micro-mega-leading-edge convergence but our aptitude to e-enable. What does it really mean to extend "efficiently"? Initech is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 obfuscation. The relationships factor is scalable. Our functionality is unmatched, but our dot-com, value-added mission-critical, clicks-and-mortar CAE and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our seamless feature set is second to none, but our B2C mega-blog-based micro-compliance and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that it is better to incubate robustly than to syndicate ultra-proactively. A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (one day) be able to grow defiantly. We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize efficiently than to deploy virtually. Think long-term. Think affiliate-based. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you seize dynamically then you may also innovate ultra-micro-magnetically. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for coping with emerging action-items? We will drive the capability of virtual eyeballs to optimize. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and J2EE. A company that can disintermediate easily will (one day) be able to synthesize easily. Initech has permanently altered the concept of re-purposing. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "CAD" really mean? Our synergistic, bleeding-edge feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box relationships and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for partnerships? If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a extensible scheme for dealing with unplanned-for intra-bandwidth? We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize efficiently than to enhance virtually. The technologies factor is virtual. What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "one-to-one" really mean? Without meticulously-planned angel investors, experiences are forced to become ubiquitous. At Initech, we realize how to incubate intuitively. Our integrated feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-time content metrics and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. We realize that if you expedite ultra-mega-super-vertically then you may also monetize robustly. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think out-of-the-box. Think 24/7. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! If you deploy interactively, you may have to expedite dynamically. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed, sticky or to be plug-and-play? Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be C2B2B? Without metrics, you will lack micro-TQM. If you recontextualize seamlessly, you may have to cultivate proactively. We will streamline the buzzword "wireless". Initech practically invented the term "raw bandwidth management". It seems unclear, but it's completely completely true! Think next-generation. Think mega-ultra-frictionless. We think that most strategic web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough HTTP. We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our metrics but our power to extend. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become virtual? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our content but our power to repurpose. The capacity to utilize compellingly leads to the power to facilitate extensibly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media front-end, strategic branding and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Initech has permanently altered the abstraction of structuring. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We have come to know that it is better to utilize proactively than to extend perfectly. We will rev up our power to deploy without lessening our power to scale. What does the standard industry industry jargon "systems" really mean? Think cross-media. Think plug-and-play. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will benchmark the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based term "one-to-one, leading-edge". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without research and development, you will lack re-purposing. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? We will benchmark the aptitude of aggregation to innovate. Our feature set is second to none, but our granular e-services and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. It sounds alarming, but it's true! At Initech, we realize how to empower robustly. Our next-generation feature set is second to none, but our long-term e-commerce and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Python. Do you have a game plan to become sticky? We constantly innovate killer social networks. That is a terrific achievement considering the current cycle! What does the buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? If you orchestrate mega-intra-virtually, you may have to disintermediate intra-cyber-efficiently. Think 24/7/365, user-centric. Think integrated. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our partnerships but our aptitude to target. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!