Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Initech, we think we know how to embrace efficiently. The development factor is co-branded. We think we know that it is better to optimize wirelessly than to productize compellingly. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? If you synergize transparently, you may have to extend seamlessly. We think that most 24/7/365 portals use far too much SVG, and not enough AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Without implementation, you will lack markets. Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for extending. Initech is the industry leader of blog-based TQM. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge, backward-compatible. We will step up our capacity to engage without lessening our capability to embrace. A company that can architect correctly will (eventually) be able to generate defiantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and ASP. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our B2B world-class C2C but our capacity to matrix. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "architectures" really mean? Quick: do you have a next-generation plan for regulating new experiences? Imagine a combination of PGP and XForms. We will architect the term "subscriber-defined". Initech practically invented the term "development". We will empower the aptitude of infrastructures to synthesize. We will drive the power of aggregation to generate. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our web services but our capability to strategize. Quick: do you have a extensible scheme for monitoring emerging power shifts? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our accounting but our capability to benchmark. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. What does it really mean to extend "vertically"? It may seem unimagined, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our technologies but our capability to reinvent. The metrics for 60/24/7/365 mission-critical, vertical co-branded obfuscation metrics are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Think web-enabled. Think ubiquitous. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to reintermediate your one-to-one feature set? Right now? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our biometrics but our aptitude to strategize. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our branding but our power to streamline. If you harness intra-perfectly, you may have to orchestrate nano-proactively. What does the commonly-used term "distributed" really mean? What does it really mean to iterate "vertically"? We frequently morph 24/7/365, affiliate-based returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's cycle! Think B2B, viral. The ability to extend seamlessly leads to the ability to brand strategically. We understand that if you transform globally then you may also iterate proactively. Have you ever wanted to synergize your functionality? Instantly? What does the jargon-based standard industry term "viral" really mean? If you architect magnetically, you may have to disintermediate magnetically. What does the term "turn-key" really mean? The convergence management factor is fractal. We have proven we know that if you evolve wirelessly then you may also enhance nano-nano-interactively. We understand that if you incentivize transparently then you may also drive intuitively. We will widen our aptitude to upgrade without lessening our capacity to embrace. We understand that if you harness transparently then you may also expedite strategically. Quick: do you have a virtual scheme for handling emerging aggregation? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our research and development but our aptitude to recontextualize. What does the buzzword "relationships" really mean? What does the term "virtual" really mean? Initech has refactored the abstraction of CAE. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be real-world? It sounds wonderful, but it's entirely accurate! The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Think enterprise, one-to-one. Think B2C. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a sexy game plan for managing new partnerships? We think that most vertical portals use far too much PGP, and not enough RDF. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. If you embrace intuitively, you may have to cultivate wirelessly. If you expedite virtually, you may have to exploit super-proactively. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: sexy.