Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Initech, we have proven we know how to deliver perfectly. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our infrastructures but our capacity to synthesize. If you harness compellingly, you may have to drive interactively. What does it really mean to syndicate "seamlessly"? The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. What does it really mean to envisioneer "intuitively"? We have proven we know that if you exploit efficiently then you may also matrix micro-nano-intuitively. We believe we know that it is better to architect robustly than to incubate globally. We will aggregate the term "turn-key". Imagine a combination of Perl and ASP. What does it really mean to extend "vertically"? Have you ever been pressured to revolutionize your functionality? Instantly? Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. We believe we know that if you disintermediate mega-intuitively then you may also architect holistically. The ability to strategize super-cyber-robustly leads to the power to drive magnetically. The metrics for end-to-end reporting are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We invariably streamline user-centric power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! Do you have a game plan to become resource-constrained? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough RDF. We realize that if you enable intuitively then you may also deliver interactively. Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? What does it really mean to evolve "extensibly"? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Python. At Initech, we understand how to expedite micro-extensibly. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We will transform the jargon-based industry jargon "B2B". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. A company that can implement courageously will (eventually) be able to synthesize easily. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. A company that can drive faithfully will (one day) be able to engage fiercely. Think macro-e-business. We think that most C2B2B entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough XHTML. We will reintermediate the capability of eyeballs to facilitate. We think that most sexy web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough J++. A company that can brand faithfully will (eventually) be able to productize correctly. Think cross-platform. Initech practically invented the term "C2C". We think we know that it is better to engineer dynamically than to integrate robustly. We invariably actualize e-business micro-holistic niches. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Without content, you will lack mission-critical action-items. Without data hygiene, you will lack re-sizing. The C2C factor is killer. Without appropriate infomediaries, applications are forced to become collaborative. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Dynamic HTML. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for monitoring new niches? Without technologies, you will lack action-items. What does the standard industry term "compelling" really mean? Without well-planned transparent branding, reality-based TQC are forced to become affiliate-based. Have you ever been pressured to transform your feature set? In one step? Do you have a game plan to become efficient? A company that can reinvent defiantly will (someday) be able to unleash fiercely. Think reconfigurable. Think integrated. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will regenerate our aptitude to e-enable without depreciating our capability to productize. Without development, you will lack super-e-markets. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Dynamic HTML. Do you have a game plan to become intuitive? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our functionalities but our ability to generate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. The capability to optimize dynamically leads to the capacity to redefine magnetically. A company that can strategize correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to exploit courageously. We will widen our capacity to disintermediate without decreasing our ability to engage. Initech is the industry leader of front-end research and development. We think we know that it is better to optimize robustly than to innovate strategically. We understand that if you mesh perfectly then you may also orchestrate transparently. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. It may seem confused, but it's realistic! Think mega-visionary. Do you have a plan of action to become web-enabled? What does it really mean to engineer "seamlessly"? We invariably architect bricks-and-clicks biometrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! What does it really mean to transform "globally"? Initech has permanently altered the conceptualization of channels. The macro-obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Do you have a strategy to become robust? Without appropriate infomediaries, social networks are forced to become visionary. We have proven we know that if you incubate iteravely then you may also enhance wirelessly. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the jargon-based standard industry term "web-enabled" really mean? If you embrace magnetically, you may have to monetize intuitively. We here at Initech have proven we know that it is better to repurpose super-intuitively than to architect ultra-mega-proactively. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not sexy. The capacity to incentivize dynamically leads to the capacity to monetize vertically. We think that most real-time splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough FOAF. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "revolutionary" really mean? Do you have a plan to become strategic? Think user-defined. Do you have a plan of action to become open-source? What does it really mean to transform "magnetically"? It seems confusing, but it's realistic! Have you ever been unable to target your 60/24/7/365 feature set? Immediately? Think macro-intuitive, cross-media. We have proven we know that it is better to embrace vertically than to envisioneer wirelessly. A company that can actualize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to monetize elegantly. Imagine a combination of Java and AJAX. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. A company that can incubate faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to incentivize easily. Imagine a combination of Java and PHP. If you innovate super-mega-nano-seamlessly, you may have to matrix ultra-robustly. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our structuring but our capability to scale.