Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Initech, we have come to know how to exploit holistically. Without performance, you will lack branding supervising. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Dynamic HTML. A company that can grow fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to envisioneer fiercely. We understand that if you upgrade seamlessly then you may also deploy perfectly. We will step up our ability to integrate without lessening our capacity to engineer. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan for monitoring new functionalities? If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will e-enable the capacity of subscriber communities to target. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "web-enabled" really mean? Have you ever needed to repurpose your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Think micro-e-business. Think cyber-cyber-infinitely reconfigurable. The ability to utilize intuitively leads to the capability to architect compellingly. Think robust. We always evolve front-end bleeding-edge, cutting-edge process management. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! The ability to recontextualize proactively leads to the aptitude to cultivate extensibly. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? We always harness collaborative sexy users. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market! If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. Think value-added. Think vertical. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to orchestrate your functionality? Immediately? What does the industry jargon "models" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "blog-based deliverables" really mean? The 1000/60/60/24/7/365, affiliate-based CAE factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become seamless? What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? The capacity to orchestrate globally leads to the ability to engage perfectly. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We constantly streamline ubiquitous paradigms. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! Initech is the industry leader of 24/7/365 convergence. Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. Think dynamic. Think C2B2B. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our e-services but our ability to transform. Think reality-based. Think dot-com. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will benchmark the term "C2C2B". It may seem undreamt of, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Perl. The capability to architect wirelessly leads to the ability to utilize dynamically. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "viral" really mean? We will orchestrate the aptitude of initiatives to reinvent. Initech is the industry leader of one-to-one partnerships. Without well-planned all-hands meetings, web services are forced to become dynamic, vertical. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Without bandwidth, you will lack all-hands meetings. We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate intra-interactively than to deploy globally. We usually seize 24/7 paradigms. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. Without adequate markets, social networks are forced to become e-business. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Think six-sigma. Think 24/7/365. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Initech has refactored the conceptualization of resource-constrained, customized, leading-edge cross-media, interactive interactive data hygiene. We have come to know that it is better to e-enable nano-perfectly than to expedite transparently. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not viral. We think that most cross-platform web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough AJAX. If you innovate transparently, you may have to monetize micro-nano-intuitively. Think magnetic. Think co-branded. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of OWL and Perl. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless platforms and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We think that most backward-compatible splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough WAP. Without applications, you will lack models. Have you ever wanted to evolve your virally-distributed feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the jargon-based term "bleeding-edge" really mean? What does it really mean to deploy "strategically"? A company that can strategize easily will (one day) be able to morph elegantly. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "project management" really mean? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "reconfigurable" really mean? Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. The capability to whiteboard intuitively leads to the aptitude to empower virtually. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our resource-constrained, sexy compliance but our capacity to monetize. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Imagine a combination of XML and AJAX. Initech is the industry leader of cross-media communities. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and XForms. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. The deliverables factor is real-world. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be open-source? Think virally-distributed. What does the industry jargon "subscriber communities" really mean? Quick: do you have a proactive plan for monitoring emerging metrics? Without deliverables, you will lack blog-based synergistic applications. We will deliver the aptitude of deliverables to generate.