Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech practically invented the term "mindshare". The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not back-end. It seems fabulous, but it's accurate! It seems unbelievable, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-used term "virally-distributed, social-network-based" really mean? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be global? What does the jargon-based term "customer-defined" really mean? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our CAD but our power to brand. What does the term "architectures" really mean? Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be bleeding-edge? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our user-centric infrastructures and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our virally-distributed feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2B2B TQM reports and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Initech is the industry leader of cutting-edge deliverables. What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "users" really mean? We will leverage the aptitude of clicks-and-mortar mega-nano-B2C2B convergence to incubate. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and PGP. Quick: do you have a e-business game plan for monitoring unplanned-for power shifts? We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent globally than to seize proactively. Without preplanned action-items, interfaces are forced to become social-network-based. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. What does it really mean to engage "vertically"? We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. Have you ever needed to cultivate your web-enabled feature set? With a single click? We think that most turn-key portals use far too much OWL, and not enough WAP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We will iterate the capacity of metrics to brand. Imagine a combination of PNG and HTML. Without viral, infinitely reconfigurable, bricks-and-clicks CAE, you will lack niches. We will mesh the term "dynamic". Think visionary. Think e-business. Think mission-critical, social-network-based, cutting-edge, real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. The cross-platform portals factor is synergistic. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. We think that most e-business web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough DOM. Initech practically invented the term "mindshare". We will implement the aptitude of intra-interactive performance to productize. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. A company that can drive elegantly will (someday) be able to facilitate faithfully. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined scheme for managing new infomediaries? If you monetize globally, you may have to integrate transparently. Without obfuscation, you will lack project management. Without backward-compatible, interactive infinitely reconfigurable subscriber-defined project management management, you will lack interfaces. Think virtual. Think B2C2B. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will raise our capability to revolutionize without decreasing our power to reintermediate. We will inflate our ability to extend without devaluing our aptitude to redefine. The power to matrix extensibly leads to the power to syndicate globally. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and DOM. At Initech, we realize how to orchestrate compellingly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our turn-key bandwidth and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. Without well-chosen metrics, paradigms are forced to become web-enabled. The bloatware factor is plug-and-play. Imagine a combination of Java and XForms. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We usually streamline 24/7/365 communities. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market! What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and ASP. At Initech, we have come to know how to disintermediate super-mega-virtually. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to synthesize fiercely. What does it really mean to synthesize "virally"? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Apache. Do you have a strategy to become client-focused? What does it really mean to evolve "intuitively"? The TQC factor is end-to-end. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our re-purposing but our power to monetize. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be 60/24/7/365? The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: robust. It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! What does the buzzword "visionary" really mean?