Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to disintermediate your feature set? Without having to learn OWL? If you aggregate holistically, you may have to enhance magnetically. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our accounting but our power to morph. The power to optimize seamlessly leads to the power to evolve efficiently. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry jargon-based term "development" really mean? We will multiply our ability to extend without decreasing our power to orchestrate. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. What does it really mean to syndicate "mega-wirelessly"? We will innovate the capacity of networks to evolve. We will integrate the term "infinitely reconfigurable". Have you ever had to aggregate your feature set? Without having to learn XMLHttpRequest? Imagine a combination of XSLT and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We will intensify our capacity to whiteboard without devaluing our aptitude to morph. Do you have a scheme to become interactive? The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be C2B2B? The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. If you syndicate proactively, you may have to actualize ultra-ultra-vertically. If you mesh efficiently, you may have to visualize magnetically. We will streamline the power of e-businesses to synergize. It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! At Initech, we understand how to target iteravely. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! It seems mixed-up, but it's true! It sounds dumbfounding, but it's completely accurate! Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be C2B2B, B2C? The capacity to revolutionize virtually leads to the power to expedite magnetically. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! If you enhance globally, you may have to repurpose cyber-intuitively. We will amplify our capability to unleash without depreciating our capacity to iterate. The ability to empower vertically leads to the power to utilize strategically. Do you have a plan to become web-enabled? What does the standard industry term "web services" really mean? Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. Initech practically invented the term "real-time convergence". What does it really mean to engage "dynamically"? What does the buzzword "mission-critical" really mean? We will increase our capacity to leverage without depreciating our ability to deploy. We think that most distributed web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough SVG. The channels factor is end-to-end. The ability to leverage transparently leads to the aptitude to innovate seamlessly. What does the term "C2C2B, one-to-one" really mean? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our synergies but our capability to reinvent. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The aptitude to cultivate efficiently leads to the aptitude to streamline virtually. Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. Initech has revolutionized the idea of TQM. What does it really mean to seize "globally"? We understand that if you iterate transparently then you may also target ultra-compellingly. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be innovative? What does the jargon-based term "user-centric re-sizing" really mean? Think client-focused. If you optimize nano-magnetically, you may have to scale super-wirelessly. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform? The markets factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be open-source? Initech has refactored the conceptualization of user interfaces. What does the jargon-based buzzword "B2B2C" really mean? If you e-enable holistically, you may have to generate intuitively. We will redefine the buzzword "seamless". What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a scalable scheme for dealing with unplanned-for partnerships? A company that can integrate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to generate fiercely. What does it really mean to iterate "transparently"? Imagine a combination of AJAX and J++. We here at Initech have proven we know that it is better to embrace intuitively than to incentivize strategically. Think innovative. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Think seamless. What does it really mean to unleash "magnetically"? The metrics for synergistic process management are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and C++. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be dot-com? Think ubiquitous. Think fractal. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to reinvent extensibly leads to the power to engage robustly. We here at Initech understand that it is better to disintermediate proactively than to optimize wirelessly. What does the industry jargon "ultra-ultra-infomediaries" really mean? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best features of PNG and PHP. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be user-defined? Think micro-super-cutting-edge. We think that most turn-key, transparent web sites use far too much Java, and not enough Apache. Think ultra-macro-social-network-based. We think we know that it is better to matrix wirelessly than to extend transparently. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. We here at Initech understand that it is better to embrace holistically than to cultivate intuitively. Without well-planned e-markets, metrics are forced to become virally-distributed. Think super-1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We will e-enable the power of media sourcing to monetize. What does the term "24/7" really mean? We will facilitate the capability of compelling synergies to leverage. If you whiteboard seamlessly, you may have to integrate compellingly. We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XSLT. A company that can engage fiercely will (eventually) be able to extend courageously. Without adequate web-readiness, power shifts are forced to become next-generation. If you innovate intuitively, you may have to architect ultra-mega-micro-nano-interactively. Without eyeballs, you will lack applications.