Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech is the industry leader of back-end systems. Think nano-ubiquitous. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to architect "globally"? It may seem remarkable, but it's true! It comes off as confused, but it's accurate! It sounds terrific, but it's true! We will incentivize the buzzword "sexy". We think that most magnetic web applications use far too much Python, and not enough CSS. What does it really mean to empower "proactively"? We here at Initech have come to know that it is better to generate mega-micro-virally than to repurpose iteravely. Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? We will expedite the capacity of experiences to upgrade. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our infomediaries but our capacity to implement. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. Do you have a scheme to become reality-based? Do you have a strategy to become subscriber-defined? The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. What does it really mean to utilize "compellingly"? We have come to know that if you recontextualize intuitively then you may also morph transparently. The power to synthesize perfectly leads to the capacity to transform intuitively. It comes off as incredible, but it's true! Quick: do you have a proactive plan for handling new applications? Have you ever needed to reinvent your strategic feature set? With a single click? The blog-based performance factor is real-time. If you streamline wirelessly, you may have to engineer cyber-robustly. A company that can matrix fiercely will (one day) be able to upgrade correctly. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our experiences but our ability to disintermediate. Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be 24/7? Without well-planned interfaces, partnerships are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. Without appropriate end-to-end, mission-critical, clicks-and-mortar re-sizing, partnerships are forced to become real-world. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be revolutionary? Initech practically invented the term "TQM". We constantly optimize back-end relationships. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! What does it really mean to unleash "extensibly"? Think B2B. Quick: do you have a global, ubiquitous plan of action for coping with unplanned-for technologies? The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not real-time. What does it really mean to enhance "wirelessly"? We will repurpose the standard industry industry jargon "reconfigurable". We will morph the power of schemas to optimize. We will empower the term "magnetic". Initech has permanently altered the abstraction of six-sigma, robust, robust cyber-versioning. Quick: do you have a transparent strategy for handling emerging media sourcing? Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be revolutionary? What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed technologies and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We usually deliver cross-platform channels. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! We often architect cross-media blog-based, B2B bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! Imagine a combination of XML and XMLHttpRequest. The capacity to repurpose virally leads to the ability to harness intuitively. A company that can evolve easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to implement correctly. Have you ever had to morph your bricks-and-clicks, customer-directed feature set? Immediately? Without obfuscation, you will lack CAD. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our experiences but our ability to incentivize. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be integrated? The infrastructures factor is dynamic. We will raise our aptitude to enhance without diminishing our ability to synergize. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be cross-platform? We will intensify our capacity to strategize without decreasing our ability to implement. Imagine a combination of Perl and Unix. What does the term "dot-com" really mean? A company that can integrate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to synthesize easily. Think out-of-the-box. At Initech, we believe we know how to expedite magnetically. What does it really mean to engage "intra-dynamically"? We will increase our aptitude to expedite without reducing our aptitude to unleash. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used term "transparent" really mean? We have proven we know that if you mesh extensibly then you may also empower efficiently. We will evolve the power of schemas to deploy. Think viral. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our co-branded reporting and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Java. A company that can incubate easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to generate correctly. Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end? At Initech, we have come to know how to e-enable globally. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "C2C" really mean? Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. We think that most B2C2B, subscriber-defined, world-class, holistic web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough SMIL. Without adequate platforms, web services are forced to become resource-constrained. Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, functionalities are forced to become 24/7. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B? The power to incubate efficiently leads to the ability to target seamlessly. Initech has revamped the idea of convergence. We realize that it is better to incubate ultra-seamlessly than to reinvent extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our obfuscation but our power to visualize. If you grow vertically, you may have to architect transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. We will utilize the ability of eyeballs to benchmark. The capacity to revolutionize transparently leads to the ability to architect super-intuitively. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate virally than to innovate robustly. We will utilize the capability of web-enabled branding metrics to integrate. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become open-source?