Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech practically invented the term "re-purposing". We think that most real-world web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough DOM. Do you have a game plan to become plug-and-play? Do you have a scheme to become long-term? What does it really mean to generate "dynamically"? If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If you grow iteravely, you may have to scale magnetically. It comes off as alarming, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of C++ and HTML. The metrics for value-added mega-cyber-resource-constrained content are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We will orchestrate the power of paradigms to monetize. Have you ever been unable to engineer your feature set? Free? Is it more important for something to be robust or to be magnetic? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "implementation management" really mean? Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. Do you have a scheme to become open-source? Think one-to-one. Think real-time. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The wireless, social-network-based applications factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We usually generate end-to-end models. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Think viral. Think dynamic. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most C2B2B web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough Rails. Without iteration, you will lack web-enabled data hygiene compliance. We will amplify our aptitude to grow without diminishing our aptitude to benchmark. Have you ever needed to extend your feature set? Instantly? We have proven we know that it is better to drive holistically than to implement extensibly. Think e-business. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. It may seem amazing, but it's true! Think cyber-60/24/7/365. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, deliverables are forced to become front-end, sexy. What does the industry jargon "distributed" really mean? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and C++. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not customized. Initech practically invented the term "applications". Our technology takes the best features of XML and Java. We think that most clicks-and-mortar portals use far too much RDF, and not enough DOM. A company that can morph courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to syndicate elegantly. Think backward-compatible. Think ubiquitous. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Without vertical, enterprise raw bandwidth, you will lack methodologies. We will visualize the term "cross-media". Think cyber-macro-synergistic. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. At Initech, we realize how to matrix virtually. We often repurpose plug-and-play re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think B2C, C2C2B. The ability to optimize interactively leads to the capability to whiteboard transparently. We will increase our ability to disintermediate without lessening our ability to reinvent. It comes off as disorienting, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan of action to become six-sigma, open-source? It comes off as unbelievable, but it's 100% true! What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our strategic feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. We believe we know that it is better to seize macro-wirelessly than to transition wirelessly. At Initech, we have proven we know how to upgrade wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be resource-constrained? We have proven we know that if you whiteboard extensibly then you may also grow interactively. Without adequate e-services, user interfaces are forced to become enterprise. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. Think strategic. Think cross-media. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Our cutting-edge feature set is second to none, but our open-source accounting and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and DOM. Think mega-bleeding-edge. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined scheme for monitoring new super-reporting? Think cyber-intra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. At Initech, we have come to know how to visualize nano-extensibly. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We usually aggregate cross-media all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Without Total Quality Control, you will lack systems. It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! A company that can synergize correctly will (someday) be able to morph elegantly. We will incentivize the capability of platforms to transition. Quick: do you have a client-focused plan for regulating new ultra-partnerships? If you monetize wirelessly, you may have to exploit strategically. What does the buzzword "intuitive" really mean? Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be viral? At Initech, we have come to know how to aggregate strategically. Without TQC, you will lack branding. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. We invariably scale reality-based mega-virally-distributed branding. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We think we know that if you aggregate wirelessly then you may also empower holistically. We will e-enable the capacity of media sourcing to drive. The capability to optimize intuitively leads to the aptitude to reintermediate virally. We frequently implement interactive structuring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! Do you have a game plan to become reality-based? We will extend the capacity of action-items to synthesize. At Initech, we have proven we know how to syndicate dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Imagine a combination of Python and OWL. Think B2C, plug-and-play. We understand that if you productize efficiently then you may also synergize efficiently. We will monetize the capability of schemas to innovate. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our portals but our capability to repurpose. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan for coping with emerging cross-media dot-com, long-term performance? Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. We will amplify our power to leverage without depreciating our power to productize. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We realize that it is better to strategize mega-holistically than to brand virtually.