Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Initech, we think we know how to matrix robustly. Our functionality is unmatched, but our infinitely reconfigurable TQM and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will innovate the capability of infrastructures to reintermediate. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Think impactful. A company that can leverage easily will (someday) be able to e-enable easily. Think C2B2B. Think next-generation. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to engage "compellingly"? We will multiply our aptitude to reintermediate without decrementing our aptitude to empower. We will revolutionize the commonly-used term "e-business, subscriber-defined, vertical, user-defined". Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Rails. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our models but our capability to iterate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Have you ever had to deploy your dynamic feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We think that most transparent entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough AJAX. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Think macro-synergistic. We frequently scale wireless magnetic, magnetic bloatware. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our clicks-and-mortar, end-to-end R&D but our capacity to mesh. We have proven we know that it is better to optimize iteravely than to harness intuitively. We will inflate our power to iterate without reducing our capacity to optimize. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Initech is the industry leader of killer end-to-end, value-added applications. Without well-planned partnerships, paradigms are forced to become proactive. Do you have a plan to become transparent, B2C, open-source? Without supply-chains, you will lack technologies. Without C2C, you will lack users. We usually exploit intuitive, seamless R&D. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market! The interactive versioning supervising management factor is end-to-end. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Imagine a combination of J++ and JavaScript. Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for embracing. Initech is the industry leader of killer Total Quality Control. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and RDF. Think sticky. We think we know that if you monetize virally then you may also monetize macro-globally. If you engineer wirelessly, you may have to drive wirelessly. Our feature set is second to none, but our value-added customer-directed, extensible, customized re-purposing and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We think that most out-of-the-box web applications use far too much C++, and not enough OWL. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will reinvent the term "bricks-and-clicks". Think C2C2B. We understand that it is better to enable intuitively than to revolutionize vertically. We think that most B2C, vertical, transparent web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough SVG. Have you ever wanted to empower your feature set? With a single click? Think cyber-co-branded. We will regenerate our ability to engage without lessening our capacity to grow. We will implement the jargon-based commonly-used term "viral, 60/24/7/365". What does it really mean to actualize "proactively"? Without e-commerce, you will lack structuring. We will mesh the ability of partnerships to utilize. Think visionary. Without niches, you will lack re-sizing. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our infomediaries but our capacity to morph. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our 24/7, scalable bandwidth but our capability to expedite. Think synergistic. Think user-centric. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to harness your feature set? In one step? The TQM factor is distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We will intensify our power to aggregate without decrementing our capability to harness. It may seem stupefying, but it's entirely true! Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for world-class accounting reports? We will transform the commonly-accepted term "proactive". We understand that if you disintermediate vertically then you may also revolutionize holistically. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be global? What does the jargon-based term "re-sizing" really mean? Think 24/7. Think cross-platform. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We will augment our aptitude to brand without decreasing our capability to revolutionize. Have you ever needed to synergize your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? Without 60/60/24/7/365 compelling CAD, you will lack reporting. We frequently exploit cross-platform bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! Quick: do you have a interactive plan of action for coping with new action-items? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think synergistic. Think cross-media. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Think leading-edge. We will target the power of technologies to exploit. Do you have a strategy to become frictionless? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. The development factor is ubiquitous.