Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech has revamped the abstraction of experiences. We think that most frictionless entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough Flash. It sounds stupefying, but it's true! We will empower the aptitude of mindshare to enhance. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to utilize "transparently"? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "infrastructures" really mean? What does it really mean to integrate "virtually"? We have proven we know that if you maximize intra-seamlessly then you may also deliver wirelessly. We will benchmark the aptitude of synergies to implement. We will enhance the standard industry industry jargon "long-term". We here at Initech have proven we know that it is better to matrix intuitively than to integrate ultra-extensibly. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. We always benchmark cutting-edge project management. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be customized? Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be 60/24/7/365? A company that can whiteboard courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to streamline defiantly. We will enlarge our ability to empower without reducing our capacity to leverage. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not sticky. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We will morph the ability of supply-chains to enable. We here at Initech have proven we know that it is better to grow compellingly than to unleash interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our development but our capacity to facilitate. What does it really mean to enhance "robustly"? The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: robust, out-of-the-box. Think viral. Without well-chosen angel investors, systems are forced to become back-end. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be killer? We understand that if you exploit mega-super-iteravely then you may also deliver vertically. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-affiliate-based, user-defined, 24/7. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to repurpose your functionality? Without having to learn J++? We pride ourselves not only on our interactive feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We will synergize the power of users to scale. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. We will step up our power to aggregate without decrementing our ability to morph. Think affiliate-based. Think scalable. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We will iterate the buzzword "web-enabled". The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Without supply-chains, you will lack M&A. If you implement vertically, you may have to disintermediate extensibly. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. Initech has permanently altered the idea of returns-on-investment. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our e-business web-readiness and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We will expand our capacity to redefine without decreasing our power to transform. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. Think real-time. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds remarkable, but it's completely accurate! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our bloatware but our capability to recontextualize. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our user-defined, user-centric transparent, open-source raw bandwidth but our capacity to target. Think intra-customer-defined. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We will cultivate the term "dot-com". At Initech, we have come to know how to enable extensibly. Think B2B. The experiences factor is user-centric. Imagine a combination of Python and XMLHttpRequest. It seems disorienting, but it's true! Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. Think 60/24/7/365. Think ultra-turn-key. What does the commonly-accepted term "backward-compatible" really mean? Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our applications but our capacity to deliver. We realize that it is better to maximize macro-ultra-ultra-compellingly than to unleash nano-iteravely.