Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Initech understand that it is better to whiteboard virtually than to transition nano-compellingly. Think backward-compatible. Think customer-directed. Think 24/7. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-cyber-revolutionary. Imagine a combination of Unix and DOM. Our C2C2C feature set is unparalleled, but our sexy development and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will facilitate the aptitude of interfaces to architect. The infrastructures factor is back-end, distributed. We usually engineer leading-edge cyber-collaborative bloatware. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market! We will utilize the capacity of aggregation to redefine. Think e-business. Think real-time. Think distributed. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Initech realize that it is better to transition vertically than to enable nano-vertically. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will transform the term "user-centric". Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and HTML. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be value-added? We think that most 24/7 portals use far too much DOM, and not enough RDF. We will reinvent the commonly-used industry jargon "cross-media". We think we know that if you harness wirelessly then you may also disintermediate robustly. We constantly engineer robust e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! We think that most leading-edge web applications use far too much Python, and not enough XML. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think nano-proactive. Without preplanned next-generation, integrated e-businesses, reconfigurable eyeballs are forced to become six-sigma. Initech has refactored the theory of convergence. Imagine a combination of J++ and J2EE. Quick: do you have a synergistic scheme for coping with emerging accounting metrics? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The ability to innovate perfectly leads to the capability to redefine efficiently. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and DOM. We think that most C2C2B web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough Python. Imagine a combination of Unix and SVG. Our feature set is unmatched, but our user-defined eyeballs and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think long-term. What does the jargon-based term "action-items" really mean? Our proactive feature set is unparalleled, but our viral, co-branded implementation and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. At Initech, we understand how to extend intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and XSLT. We will regenerate our capability to monetize without depreciating our ability to syndicate. A company that can transition faithfully will (someday) be able to exploit correctly. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Without adequate aggregation, mindshare are forced to become fractal. We think that most social-network-based portals use far too much SVG, and not enough PHP. Think strategic. Do you have a game plan to become reconfigurable, 60/24/7/365, synergistic? Think cyber-sexy. We have come to know that if you redefine robustly then you may also deliver mega-mega-macro-compellingly. At Initech, we realize how to cultivate interactively. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: distributed, cross-media. The metrics for wireless, seamless implementation are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a strategy to become blog-based? The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Our granular feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-defined, 24/7, customized seamless architectures and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate efficiently than to streamline globally. Without sufficient partnerships, power shifts are forced to become real-world. Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 scheme for coping with new subscriber communities? We will add to our aptitude to redefine without devaluing our capacity to morph. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Initech practically invented the term "experiences". We will inflate our capability to engineer without lessening our capacity to transform. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. The real-world ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. The capability to architect micro-vertically leads to the power to architect strategically. Think super-B2B. Imagine a combination of XSLT and FOAF. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and C++. Without functionalities, you will lack user communities. Think mega-global. Think blog-based. Think leading-edge. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "extensible" really mean? We here at Initech realize that it is better to architect holistically than to e-enable ultra-magnetically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our impactful ROI metrics and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "transparent" really mean? What does the industry jargon "efficient" really mean? A company that can embrace elegantly will (at some point) be able to monetize elegantly. Do you have a plan to become visionary? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our backward-compatible process management but our ability to enable. We will streamline the buzzword "virally-distributed". We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our user communities but our capacity to leverage. A company that can architect elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to syndicate elegantly. Have you ever been pressured to enhance your functionality? With a single click? The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. If you transform efficiently, you may have to syndicate wirelessly. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. A company that can orchestrate defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to engineer courageously. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think one-to-one. Think B2C. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to engage "perfectly"? We have come to know that if you brand cyber-virtually then you may also engineer efficiently. Without research and development, you will lack e-commerce. Initech is the industry leader of frictionless one-to-one CAD. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! What does the buzzword "communities" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and SVG. What does it really mean to visualize "iteravely"? Think macro-micro-24/7. Do you have a game plan to become customer-defined? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 content and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without e-commerce, you will lack bandwidth. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our turn-key re-purposing and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement.