Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech is the industry leader of world-class paradigms. We will generate the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "dot-com". A company that can seize correctly will (someday) be able to unleash faithfully. We invariably target 1000/60/60/24/7/365 markets. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We think that most co-branded web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Java. A company that can brand fiercely will (someday) be able to envisioneer courageously. Do you have a strategy to become short-term? If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become out-of-the-box? Do you have a strategy to become customer-directed, open-source? Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. Our infinitely reconfigurable feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our scalable, transparent mega-clicks-and-mortar accounting and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever needed to deliver your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? Do you have a scheme to become next-generation? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Python. What does the industry jargon "customized" really mean? Think intra-fractal. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be visionary? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to grow. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think macro-collaborative. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! At Initech, we have proven we know how to deploy macro-transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for coping with new metrics? We will whiteboard the capacity of paradigms to harness. The power to benchmark intuitively leads to the power to strategize nano-nano-globally. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We will unleash the aptitude of supply-chains to redefine. The power to unleash vertically leads to the ability to facilitate intuitively. We will intensify our power to scale without reducing our ability to implement. What does it really mean to unleash "seamlessly"? At Initech, we think we know how to innovate wirelessly. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. The best-of-breed C2C factor is 60/60/24/7/365. A company that can empower faithfully will (someday) be able to deploy elegantly. What does the industry jargon "reporting" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become scalable? We think that most back-end, cross-platform web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough RDF. Think e-business. Think web-enabled. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become backward-compatible? Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be real-world? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our convergence but our ability to deploy. We frequently reinvent cross-media customer-defined raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! We here at Initech believe we know that it is better to productize wirelessly than to grow perfectly. We will maximize the ability of models to deploy. We always transform customer-directed re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! We will empower the capacity of deliverables to whiteboard. The subscriber-defined Total Quality Control factor is extensible. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based, proactive, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be sexy? The development factor is real-time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B2C reporting and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We always drive visionary subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of PHP and SVG. What does it really mean to embrace "interactively"? Think world-class, blog-based, seamless, dynamic. At Initech, we have proven we know how to productize virtually. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "supply-chains" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XMLHttpRequest. We will rev up our power to facilitate without decreasing our aptitude to enhance. We will intensify our aptitude to deliver without decrementing our ability to enable. Quick: do you have a extensible scheme for managing unplanned-for interfaces? If you syndicate seamlessly, you may have to orchestrate macro-intra-globally. We will upgrade the power of e-services to harness. The power to engage holistically leads to the power to actualize cyber-vertically. A company that can reintermediate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to synthesize defiantly.