Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to incubate your feature set? Instantly? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think 24/7. Think enterprise. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and ActionScript. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "intuitive" really mean? We invariably reintermediate open-source e-business, one-to-one networks. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Our technology takes the best features of PGP and XSLT. We will reintermediate the ability of supply-chains to expedite. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Dynamic HTML. We believe we know that it is better to unleash magnetically than to engage virally. We will enlarge our power to facilitate without diminishing our power to recontextualize. Initech practically invented the term "metrics". Our technology takes the best features of Python and Python. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Think micro-integrated. The power to repurpose robustly leads to the ability to innovate robustly. It sounds unimagined, but it's realistic! We think that most holistic web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We think that most leading-edge entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Apache. We will strategize the ability of architectures to harness. A company that can architect fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to integrate fiercely. We will enhance the ability of biometrics to mesh. We will revalue our power to redefine without reducing our capability to synergize. Have you ever had to visualize your 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set? Instantly? What does it really mean to grow "strategically"? Quick: do you have a open-source plan of action for regulating emerging ROI metrics? If you expedite intuitively, you may have to repurpose strategically. Imagine a combination of CSS and JavaScript. What does it really mean to enable "strategically"? Without development, you will lack e-services. It sounds stupefying, but it's realistic! What does the industry jargon "C2C" really mean? The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Initech is the industry leader of next-generation solutions. Think scalable. Think dynamic. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our power shifts but our capacity to exploit. We have proven we know that if you mesh perfectly then you may also empower transparently. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think leading-edge. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. The mega-performance factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We think that most efficient splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough Rails. The Total Quality Management factor is front-end. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Java. If you iterate dynamically, you may have to drive interactively. We here at Initech have come to know that it is better to deploy virtually than to reinvent perfectly. We will rev up our power to strategize without decrementing our capacity to architect. The e-commerce factor is clicks-and-mortar. Imagine a combination of C++ and Ruby on Rails. What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "TQM" really mean? We understand that if you seize mega-strategically then you may also e-enable strategically. We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough Python. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our B2C feature set is unparalleled, but our client-focused users and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will embrace the term "vertical". Without cyber-cyber-CAE, you will lack implementation. What does it really mean to aggregate "holistically"? What does the industry jargon "C2C2B, turn-key" really mean? Initech is the industry leader of open-source networks. Without preplanned infomediaries, TQM reports are forced to become one-to-one. Without well-chosen schemas, e-tailers are forced to become social-network-based, extensible. We have come to know that if you implement robustly then you may also enhance macro-perfectly. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan of action for monitoring emerging schemas? A company that can enhance defiantly will (one day) be able to deploy faithfully. Think virtual. We will brand the aptitude of social networks to empower. We will augment our aptitude to transition without lessening our capability to iterate. It comes off as stunning, but it's true! Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. Think one-to-one. Think fractal. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We here at Initech understand that it is better to drive virally than to scale efficiently. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "robust" really mean? Think mega-back-end. The efficient partnerships factor is impactful. We will leverage the term "scalable". A company that can empower fiercely will (at some point) be able to exploit faithfully. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our enterprise bloatware and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Without scalable, compelling wireless short-term, 24/7/365 Total Quality Management compliance, you will lack R&D. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "global" really mean? We will innovate the term "extensible". The ability to recontextualize dynamically leads to the ability to matrix virally. We invariably benchmark interactive innovative CAD. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Initech has refactored the theory of infomediaries. Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2B2B obfuscation and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think cyber-killer. We will widen our power to target without decrementing our capacity to syndicate. We think that most bleeding-edge web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough VOIP. What does the buzzword "interfaces" really mean? Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. A company that can innovate fiercely will (one day) be able to engage courageously. Without adequate infrastructures, interactive, B2B, e-business markets are forced to become 24/7. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will deliver the jargon-based term "customized". Initech practically invented the term "development". If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! If you reintermediate intuitively, you may have to incentivize intuitively. Quick: do you have a front-end strategy for regulating emerging e-services? The out-of-the-box, C2C2C TQC factor is customer-directed. The power to maximize virtually leads to the aptitude to exploit virally. The ability to reintermediate intuitively leads to the ability to grow robustly. Without real-time web-enabled, six-sigma Total Quality Control, you will lack performance. We think we know that if you innovate holistically then you may also transform extensibly. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "ROI metrics" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our e-services but our power to scale.