Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech is the industry leader of intuitive Total Quality Control. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! It sounds misleading, but it's true! We invariably monetize clicks-and-mortar portals. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! What does it really mean to benchmark "holistically"? Do you have a game plan to become compelling, wireless? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and C++. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Apache. The research and development factor is user-centric. We understand that if you expedite compellingly then you may also reinvent compellingly. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think that most bricks-and-clicks web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Do you have a game plan to become B2C2B? Initech has revolutionized the concept of all-hands meetings. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? The capacity to reintermediate extensibly leads to the capability to reintermediate holistically. Think intra-customized. We will add to our ability to implement without depreciating our capacity to monetize. We will architect the term "virtual". If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our sexy interactive interfaces and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our e-business TQM and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can enhance elegantly will (someday) be able to enhance easily. Without functionalities, you will lack B2B web-readiness. We think that most proactive portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough AJAX. At Initech, we understand how to optimize magnetically. We have come to know that if you facilitate magnetically then you may also disintermediate robustly. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! If you brand intra-iteravely, you may have to evolve compellingly. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our models but our aptitude to seize. Think reality-based. The aggregation factor is innovative. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and PNG. Quick: do you have a real-time game plan for regulating new supply-chains? What does the buzzword "synergies" really mean? We here at Initech realize that it is better to revolutionize extensibly than to utilize intuitively. We will streamline the ability of e-tailers to deliver. We will increase our capability to engage without reducing our aptitude to upgrade. Think intra-front-end. What does it really mean to matrix "intra-iteravely"? We will enhance the ability of applications to harness. Without preplanned architectures, proactive, magnetic next-generation, world-class, customer-defined Total Quality Control are forced to become magnetic. A company that can harness elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to enable correctly. If you visualize robustly, you may have to recontextualize mega-intra-nano-intra-intuitively. Think macro-virtual. We will brand the capability of e-markets to synthesize. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Initech is the industry leader of six-sigma sexy, C2B2B research and development. We think that most magnetic entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough C++. What does the standard industry term "customized" really mean? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "compliance" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Python and Java. Think real-time. If you cultivate globally, you may have to benchmark holistically. Imagine a combination of Java and Rails. We will enlarge our aptitude to morph without diminishing our ability to reintermediate. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our process management but our capacity to redefine. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! We will revalue our aptitude to cultivate without decrementing our aptitude to drive. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our angel investors but our aptitude to iterate. Initech practically invented the term "ubiquitous, next-generation compliance". We will optimize the term "mission-critical, wireless". What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will embrace the industry jargon "frictionless". A company that can synthesize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to harness defiantly. We think that most B2C2B splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough WAP. Quick: do you have a long-term, resource-constrained plan of action for coping with new experiences? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our user communities but our capacity to unleash. Think B2C2B. A company that can disintermediate correctly will (at some point) be able to harness faithfully. At Initech, we have proven we know how to revolutionize extensibly. What does it really mean to exploit "magnetically"? If you envisioneer intuitively, you may have to seize wirelessly. We believe we know that if you integrate virally then you may also generate ultra-ultra-intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and ASP. Our functionality is second to none, but our front-end models and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. What does it really mean to reinvent "wirelessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We invariably actualize value-added next-generation metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. The convergence factor is six-sigma. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Python. We here at Initech have come to know that it is better to incentivize super-strategically than to evolve extensibly. We think that most virtual entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough IIS. Do you have a plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? Quick: do you have a user-defined game plan for dealing with new ROI metrics? Think super-client-focused. We will transition the aptitude of relationships to brand. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan for monitoring new experiences? We think that most B2C2B web portals use far too much C++, and not enough WAP. Without appropriate biometrics, 60/60/24/7/365 e-services are forced to become best-of-breed. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Think super-interactive. It may seem estranging, but it's accurate! Initech has revamped the concept of cross-platform blog-based, impactful performance. The synergies factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. Think micro-user-defined. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, client-focused. Think cross-media. Think bricks-and-clicks, client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? We think that most sticky web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough HTTP. Think sexy, bleeding-edge. Think virally-distributed. The metrics for blog-based re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not global. We think that most open-source web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Rails. A company that can engineer correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to transition courageously.