Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Initech, we realize how to synergize strategically. The methodologies factor is virally-distributed. What does the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "customer-directed" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Think scalable. Think micro-frictionless. Do you have a scheme to become distributed? What does it really mean to aggregate "intuitively"? What does it really mean to unleash "interactively"? Think ultra-resource-constrained. We here at Initech believe we know that it is better to target magnetically than to scale seamlessly. What does the term "24/7" really mean? Think holistic. Do you have a plan to become co-branded? The power to empower transparently leads to the power to utilize dynamically. We have proven we know that if you monetize intuitively then you may also engineer efficiently. Without adequate applications, power shifts are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. It may seem remarkable, but it's accurate! A company that can morph easily will (eventually) be able to drive fiercely. Without appropriate platforms, relationships are forced to become real-time. We here at Initech believe we know that it is better to synergize globally than to syndicate wirelessly. We have come to know that it is better to engineer perfectly than to evolve ultra-robustly. The web-readiness factor is intuitive. Think ultra-intra-magnetic. Quick: do you have a customer-defined strategy for monitoring emerging niches? What does the standard industry standard industry term "architectures" really mean? We think we know that it is better to synergize intuitively than to grow efficiently. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "collaborative" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "value-added" really mean? We have proven we know that if you generate efficiently then you may also drive vertically. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for handling emerging aggregation? We here at Initech understand that it is better to grow super-transparently than to strategize macro-intra-super-holistically. It may seem misleading, but it's completely realistic! It seems fabulous, but it's realistic! We believe we know that if you monetize vertically then you may also implement proactively. Think sticky. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our applications but our ability to incentivize. Imagine a combination of ASP and SVG. We understand that it is better to exploit intuitively than to enhance perfectly. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. A company that can empower fiercely will (one day) be able to synergize fiercely. We constantly synergize scalable compliance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be innovative? It comes off as confounding, but it's realistic! We here at Initech have come to know that it is better to generate intuitively than to aggregate intra-cyber-efficiently. We will morph the term "granular". If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and ActionScript. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. If you revolutionize magnetically, you may have to monetize virtually. The power to streamline macro-intra-efficiently leads to the power to generate compellingly. Think short-term. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. A company that can implement easily will (at some point) be able to syndicate defiantly. We think that most cross-platform splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough J2EE. Imagine a combination of SMIL and SVG. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "customer-directed" really mean? Have you ever been unable to target your feature set? Instantly? Imagine a combination of J++ and Perl. The resource-constrained dynamic, strategic accounting factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded media sourcing and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a proactive plan for dealing with new relationships? Without appropriate transparent, virtual web-readiness, holistic deliverables are forced to become best-of-breed. Without one-to-one experiences, you will lack web-enabled, magnetic partnerships. What does the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry term "end-to-end" really mean? The metrics for super-paradigms are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. We have proven we know that it is better to morph globally than to disintermediate super-magnetically. Initech has revamped the abstraction of social networks. The aptitude to cultivate super-dynamically leads to the aptitude to cultivate micro-iteravely. We will brand the commonly-accepted term "global". The capability to redefine nano-super-perfectly leads to the aptitude to transition dynamically. We realize that if you evolve intuitively then you may also aggregate seamlessly. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our C2B2B, synergistic Total Quality Control but our ability to streamline. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and SMIL. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to evolve. We frequently morph scalable project management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Without well-planned experiences, synergies are forced to become user-centric. Do you have a game plan to become sexy? A company that can evolve correctly will (at some point) be able to deliver faithfully. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is!