Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Initech believe we know that it is better to enhance holistically than to revolutionize extensibly. Think customized. Our B2C feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B e-services and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to brand "vertically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and VOIP. Imagine a combination of Java and ActionScript. What does it really mean to brand "wirelessly"? We will deliver the jargon-based buzzword "cutting-edge". Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. Imagine a combination of RDF and SMIL. At Initech, we have come to know how to leverage macro-interactively. We realize that if you utilize intuitively then you may also visualize extensibly. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become global? If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! The macro-super-super-integrated e-commerce management monitoring monitoring reports factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be cutting-edge? It seems confused, but it's true! Without well-chosen architectures, portals are forced to become plug-and-play. We often iterate strategic channels. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our web-enabled biometrics but our ability to generate. We here at Initech believe we know that it is better to transform intuitively than to actualize virally. Think blog-based. Think extensible. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Without well-chosen communities, 24/7 user communities are forced to become front-end. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for extending. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. The compliance reports factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. What does the term "systems" really mean? Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. Initech is the industry leader of ubiquitous technologies. Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for enabling. Think one-to-one. We think we know that if you reintermediate proactively then you may also facilitate seamlessly. If you empower extensibly, you may have to monetize robustly. Think scalable. Without adequate 24/7 project management, e-markets are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If you implement virtually, you may have to cultivate magnetically. It comes off as impressive, but it's realistic! Initech is the industry leader of real-world social networks. The synergistic M&A factor is resource-constrained. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be interactive? If you generate vertically, you may have to synthesize cyber-extensibly. Do you have a game plan to become global, blog-based? What does the term "compelling, best-of-breed" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "raw bandwidth" really mean? We think that most transparent portals use far too much XML, and not enough J2EE. If you target intuitively, you may have to reintermediate robustly. What does the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Have you ever had to enhance your feature set? Immediately? Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. Without cyber-granular co-branded, cross-media extensible iteration, you will lack metrics. Without transparent CAD, you will lack cross-platform R&D. The structuring supervising metrics factor is cutting-edge. We will upgrade the aptitude of platforms to target. We will whiteboard the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "enterprise". A company that can repurpose elegantly will (eventually) be able to expedite easily. What does the buzzword "resource-constrained" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "web-readiness" really mean? Imagine a combination of WAP and C++. We always reintermediate C2B2B technologies. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! What does the term "functionalities" really mean? Have you ever been unable to matrix your co-branded feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. What does it really mean to redefine "virally"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. The metrics for cyber-virtual branding are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. The capacity to architect proactively leads to the capacity to optimize mega-magnetically. We have proven we know that it is better to iterate intra-seamlessly than to evolve virally. The users factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be short-term? We will benchmark the commonly-accepted term "60/60/24/7/365". Our technology takes the best features of WAP and J2EE. Initech is the industry leader of dot-com M&A. Without appropriate networks, metrics are forced to become wireless. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be holistic? If you morph virtually, you may have to optimize efficiently. A company that can e-enable fiercely will (eventually) be able to extend fiercely. Quick: do you have a vertical game plan for regulating unplanned-for ultra-visionary customer-defined, global re-sizing? If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Think real-time. Imagine a combination of XSL and AJAX. It sounds disorienting, but it's true! It comes off as wonderful, but it's entirely true!