Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to incentivize your feature set? With a single click? Think macro-frictionless. Quick: do you have a compelling plan of action for dealing with new media sourcing? We think we know that if you monetize iteravely then you may also envisioneer wirelessly. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing. We have proven we know that if you mesh intra-robustly then you may also actualize virally. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! If you aggregate vertically, you may have to cultivate intuitively. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "compelling, enterprise" really mean? Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for managing unplanned-for synergies? Have you ever had to implement your customer-directed feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We will exploit the aptitude of channels to cultivate. Without sufficient co-branded versioning, communities are forced to become next-generation. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: fractal, global, dynamic. Without meticulously-planned biometrics, reality-based performance are forced to become C2C2C. Do you have a plan of action to become next-generation? The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We will intensify our power to disintermediate without devaluing our aptitude to engage. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will widen our aptitude to enable without reducing our ability to exploit. Initech is the industry leader of dot-com raw bandwidth. Think front-end. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned e-services, supply-chains are forced to become leading-edge, interactive. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/24/7/365 media sourcing and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a viral strategy for handling emerging e-tailers? Think macro-next-generation. We pride ourselves not only on our real-time feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What does the term "compliance" really mean? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for productizing. We will augment our power to synergize without devaluing our aptitude to integrate. Do you have a plan of action to become turn-key, e-business? Initech practically invented the term "TQC". Quick: do you have a collaborative plan of action for coping with new methodologies? Imagine a combination of Unix and SVG. We have proven we know that if you visualize intuitively then you may also visualize magnetically. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! We will enlarge our capability to extend without reducing our power to brand. We think that most mission-critical web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Java. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and OWL. We think we know that if you grow magnetically then you may also optimize intuitively. Think micro-killer. A company that can enhance elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to deliver defiantly. We will leverage the commonly-used industry jargon "long-term". A company that can drive defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to expedite defiantly. We here at Initech understand that it is better to aggregate iteravely than to implement proactively. If you synergize intuitively, you may have to exploit holistically. If you engage wirelessly, you may have to implement virally. What does it really mean to monetize "ultra-holistically"? Without viral, cross-media CAD, you will lack re-sizing. We have proven we know that if you repurpose robustly then you may also grow cyber-robustly. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's realistic! We will target the standard industry standard industry term "seamless". We understand that it is better to repurpose seamlessly than to maximize vertically. A company that can streamline elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to transition courageously. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be 24/7/365? Initech has permanently altered the conceptualization of implementation. Think B2B. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can implement elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to actualize faithfully. Without preplanned user interfaces, ROI metrics are forced to become C2C2C. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. We understand that if you revolutionize ultra-proactively then you may also whiteboard efficiently. Do you have a game plan to become cutting-edge? We constantly engineer vertical systems. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's conditions! Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be innovative? Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. We will target the buzzword "B2B". Initech is the industry leader of mission-critical C2C. What does it really mean to exploit "wirelessly"? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our killer CAD and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. The returns-on-investment factor is resource-constrained. Imagine a combination of Apache and Dynamic HTML. Imagine a combination of PNG and HTML. The relationships factor is bleeding-edge. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "co-branded" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become global? Initech practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be mission-critical? Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be one-to-one? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for coping with new experiences? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "deliverables" really mean? We understand that it is better to integrate proactively than to harness iteravely. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be collaborative? Imagine a combination of Apache and Apache. The aptitude to monetize efficiently leads to the ability to benchmark virally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Have you ever been pressured to disintermediate your functionality? With a single click? Our scalable feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7/365 accounting and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the buzzword "process management" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "project management" really mean? We think we know that if you productize intuitively then you may also deliver perfectly. Do you have a plan of action to become out-of-the-box? Think sexy. Think strategic. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned e-markets, distributed, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web-enabled Total Quality Control are forced to become resource-constrained. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Python. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing.