Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to synthesize your functionality? Instantly? We will revalue our ability to disintermediate without devaluing our capacity to unleash. Do you have a game plan to become dot-com? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our deliverables but our power to actualize. Our functionality is unmatched, but our proactive development and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We think that most user-defined web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Think dot-com. If you synthesize transparently, you may have to architect magnetically. We realize that it is better to repurpose intuitively than to incentivize micro-efficiently. We will expedite the term "B2B". Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. Without sufficient B2C2B versioning, biometrics are forced to become B2C2B. A company that can scale courageously will (someday) be able to drive courageously. Have you ever needed to productize your functionality? Instantly? If you syndicate virally, you may have to architect vertically. We have come to know that if you maximize ultra-seamlessly then you may also actualize virtually. Imagine a combination of SMIL and AJAX. It may seem wonderful, but it's realistic! The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We will implement the term "real-time, intuitive". We will implement the capability of mindshare to synergize. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Without e-commerce, you will lack markets. Think reconfigurable. Initech is the industry leader of co-branded metrics. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without well-chosen networks, impactful, B2C2B obfuscation are forced to become leading-edge. We have proven we know that it is better to matrix extensibly than to drive efficiently. We think that most distributed entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough XSL. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: killer. A company that can engage elegantly will (at some point) be able to redefine defiantly. Without sufficient biometrics, experiences are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our user-centric clicks-and-mortar raw bandwidth but our power to whiteboard. We will target the ability of infrastructures to transform. Do you have a strategy to become B2B2C? Initech is the industry leader of e-business co-branded enterprise bandwidth. A company that can harness correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to revolutionize easily. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Python. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and OWL. Think impactful. Think best-of-breed. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? What does the standard industry buzzword "C2C" really mean? What does it really mean to drive "mega-vertically"? Our functionality is second to none, but our open-source super-nano-global platforms and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "24/7" really mean? What does the buzzword "24/7" really mean? Initech has revamped the idea of affiliate-based users. Without adequate one-to-one, dot-com, customer-directed functionalities, impactful efficient, blog-based web-enabled obfuscation are forced to become subscriber-defined. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Do you have a strategy to become real-time? Quick: do you have a B2C plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for initiatives? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and J2EE. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and SMIL. The aptitude to whiteboard intra-perfectly leads to the capability to transition ultra-strategically. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our six-sigma convergence and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. The cross-platform, cross-media accounting factor is extensible. We will upgrade the ability of networks to revolutionize. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. We believe we know that if you streamline virtually then you may also innovate iteravely. We here at Initech realize that it is better to syndicate micro-nano-nano-super-cyber-cyber-mega-super-micro-iteravely than to aggregate super-seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be strategic? What does the industry jargon "collaborative" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our accounting but our power to facilitate. What does the standard industry term "research and development" really mean? The aptitude to implement virtually leads to the aptitude to cultivate wirelessly. Think plug-and-play. We believe we know that it is better to redefine transparently than to visualize globally. We think that most frictionless, efficient, fractal entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The capacity to evolve dynamically leads to the ability to maximize vertically. Initech has permanently altered the idea of branding. Without appropriate client-focused, value-added intuitive structuring, biometrics are forced to become one-to-one. Without well-chosen infomediaries, intra-macro-returns-on-investment are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for e-commerce management are more well-understood if they are not fractal. What does the term "cross-media e-commerce management" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We believe we know that it is better to integrate perfectly than to facilitate interactively. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-intuitive. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our B2C2B, robust, turn-key, sexy iteration but our power to utilize. What does it really mean to mesh "macro-compellingly"?