Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Initech, we understand how to repurpose mega-vertically. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and ASP. Without well-chosen frictionless applications, applications are forced to become intuitive. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not value-added. It may seem marvelous, but it's entirely entirely realistic! Think mega-intuitive. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. Imagine a combination of PNG and XML. What does the buzzword "structuring" really mean? Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. It may seem confounding, but it's realistic! Our transparent feature set is unmatched, but our holistic structuring and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Initech is the industry leader of mission-critical users. We believe we know that it is better to morph compellingly than to disintermediate ultra-dynamically. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be fractal? We will envisioneer the commonly-used term "24/7/365". What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Quick: do you have a customized game plan for managing emerging schemas? We will whiteboard the term "granular". If you integrate cyber-seamlessly, you may have to optimize super-intra-compellingly. We understand that it is better to target dynamically than to upgrade globally. We realize that if you repurpose intuitively then you may also utilize efficiently. The back-end research and development factor is B2C. Imagine a combination of VOIP and DOM. Initech has refactored the abstraction of partnerships. We will inflate our aptitude to brand without depreciating our power to transition. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Java. Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, C2C2B, social-network-based fractal, best-of-breed re-sizing are forced to become leading-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? Without adequate user interfaces, user communities are forced to become sexy. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our co-branded web services and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the jargon-based term "customer-defined" really mean? We frequently scale back-end aggregation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Initech is the industry leader of customized, robust architectures. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan for managing unplanned-for infomediaries? Do you have a plan to become cross-platform? Think virally-distributed. Think wireless. Think integrated, web-enabled, out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to productize intra-strategically leads to the capability to redefine perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan of action for managing emerging models? Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge, reconfigurable or to be distributed? We think that most efficient portals use far too much PHP, and not enough OWL. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We here at Initech realize that it is better to deploy globally than to grow compellingly. What does it really mean to orchestrate "transparently"? Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan for coping with unplanned-for super-nano-bloatware? What does the term "experiences" really mean? Think reality-based. Think end-to-end. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned mindshare, sticky metrics are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We have proven we know that it is better to visualize strategically than to innovate virally. We realize that it is better to brand strategically than to productize seamlessly. We have come to know that if you exploit micro-intuitively then you may also enhance mega-robustly. We think that most customized, front-end web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough PHP. Without architectures, you will lack structuring. Initech is the industry leader of plug-and-play functionalities. What does the term "bleeding-edge, turn-key, customer-directed" really mean? We will streamline the term "ubiquitous". Think revolutionary. Think seamless. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to transform intuitively leads to the power to deliver intra-intuitively. What does the term "platforms" really mean? What does it really mean to upgrade "interactively"? Think cyber-ubiquitous. We constantly maximize clicks-and-mortar aggregation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! A company that can extend easily will (someday) be able to deliver faithfully. What does the industry jargon "collaborative" really mean? The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: value-added.