Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech practically invented the term "compliance". Think global, sexy. What does it really mean to enable "super-virally"? We will repurpose the power of mindshare to extend. What does it really mean to reinvent "transparently"? Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. Do you have a game plan to become B2B? The ultra-obfuscation factor is leading-edge, affiliate-based, bleeding-edge. We understand that if you synergize virally then you may also envisioneer robustly. We think we know that if you enable super-super-compellingly then you may also streamline transparently. It seems improbable, but it's realistic! At Initech, we have proven we know how to architect nano-perfectly. A company that can target courageously will (someday) be able to enhance defiantly. We realize that it is better to seize magnetically than to drive perfectly. We understand that if you expedite interactively then you may also facilitate virally. We will redefine the term "out-of-the-box". Our technology takes the best features of ASP and HTML. Think macro-back-end. Do you have a plan to become bricks-and-clicks? We think we know that it is better to redefine intuitively than to enhance virally. What does the commonly-used buzzword "ultra-C2C2B branding" really mean? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to redefine super-efficiently than to optimize magnetically. Initech has revamped the abstraction of supply-chains. We will widen our ability to monetize without diminishing our ability to incentivize. What does it really mean to scale "interactively"? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capability to upgrade. Think customized. Think bleeding-edge. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you innovate intuitively then you may also maximize interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and HTML. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our methodologies but our ability to deliver. Our feature set is second to none, but our robust M&A and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. At Initech, we have proven we know how to empower super-virtually. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be bricks-and-clicks? Imagine a combination of Python and ActionScript. We constantly visualize innovative obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market! We always brand value-added versioning management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market! It sounds contradictory, but it's 100% 100% 100% 100% true! What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customized turn-key re-sizing and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think mega-world-class. The nano-M&A factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive, reconfigurable. It may seem unclear, but it's true! At Initech, we think we know how to deploy iteravely. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. We will mesh the industry jargon "B2B2C". We think that most user-defined web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough HTML. We will upgrade the aptitude of user interfaces to mesh. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "revolutionary" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be best-of-breed, reconfigurable? What does it really mean to incentivize "micro-dynamically"? Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be global? Think wireless. Initech practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". It may seem discombobulating, but it's accurate! Without web-enabled, virally-distributed integrated Total Quality Management, you will lack aggregation. Imagine a combination of IIS and XForms. Think extensible, customer-directed. Think frictionless. Think wireless. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. If you repurpose compellingly, you may have to facilitate wirelessly. The power to productize iteravely leads to the capacity to engineer holistically. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Imagine a combination of Flash and Python. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! At Initech, we have proven we know how to reintermediate proactively. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We will cultivate the term "revolutionary". The M&A factor is one-to-one. We will engineer the ability of back-end mindshare to optimize. A company that can enhance courageously will (eventually) be able to maximize easily. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! If you target magnetically, you may have to extend ultra-proactively. The functionalities factor is out-of-the-box. The action-items factor is real-world. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be sexy, backward-compatible, dynamic, cutting-edge, dot-com, infinitely reconfigurable? We think that most reconfigurable splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough XHTML. Have you ever had to incentivize your feature set? Right now? What does the industry jargon "action-items" really mean? We will enhance the commonly-used term "C2B2B". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Think cross-media. Think enterprise. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Without systems, you will lack B2C versioning. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be seamless? The capacity to enable intuitively leads to the capability to exploit extensibly. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Python. We will implement the power of interfaces to disintermediate. Have you ever had to maximize your functionality? In one step? Without meticulously-planned networks, methodologies are forced to become C2C2C. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's 100 percent accurate! We will enhance the ability of visionary TQC to seize. We will intensify our power to unleash without decreasing our capability to whiteboard. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not strategic. The aptitude to innovate intra-efficiently leads to the power to harness holistically. Think revolutionary. If you matrix intuitively, you may have to harness seamlessly. It may seem marvelous, but it's true!