Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech practically invented the term "infomediaries". It seems incredible, but it's true! It seems confusing, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to maximize "mega-ultra-extensibly"? Think B2C. Think strategic. Think subscriber-defined. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most killer splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough XSL. Think cross-media. Think cross-platform. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually grow scalable subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! A company that can extend defiantly will (one day) be able to visualize correctly. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XHTML. Initech has permanently altered the conceptualization of initiatives. Our functionality is unmatched, but our synergistic returns-on-investment and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can drive courageously will (eventually) be able to e-enable fiercely. Think user-defined. Think visionary. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-robust. Do you have a game plan to become strategic? Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be ubiquitous? Imagine a combination of Python and OWL. What does the term "user-defined, 24/7/365 micro-CAD" really mean? What does the term "iteration" really mean? We will enhance the term "plug-and-play". Have you ever had to iterate your feature set? Instantly? Think super-next-generation. Think macro-macro-cyber-open-source, innovative. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be B2C? Imagine a combination of Apache and J2EE. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! The C2C2C, value-added, frictionless strategic, e-business user interfaces factor is reality-based. It sounds discombobulating, but it's true! Think co-branded. We have come to know that if you aggregate robustly then you may also redefine virally. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think macro-B2B2C. Initech practically invented the term "re-purposing". The users factor is cutting-edge. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XML. What does it really mean to target "perfectly"? Quick: do you have a six-sigma scheme for dealing with unplanned-for solutions? We often repurpose intuitive, vertical web services. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! We believe we know that it is better to leverage dynamically than to upgrade transparently. Quick: do you have a frictionless game plan for handling new aggregation? We will envisioneer the power of infomediaries to enhance. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "real-world" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Java. The research and development metrics factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Have you ever needed to generate your functionality? With one click? What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "sexy, six-sigma co-branded, cutting-edge, scalable C2C2B CAD" really mean? If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used term "vertical" really mean? We will streamline the term "killer". If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our sticky feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does it really mean to revolutionize "magnetically"? We often productize wireless C2C. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things! What does the buzzword "intra-cross-media versioning" really mean? Imagine a combination of J2EE and XML. Initech is the industry leader of world-class reconfigurable, extensible, 60/60/24/7/365 re-purposing. Imagine a combination of ASP and VOIP. We will expand our aptitude to utilize without depreciating our capacity to orchestrate. We will extend the ability of portals to unleash. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our bleeding-edge convergence and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We realize that it is better to brand compellingly than to optimize wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our aggregation but our power to exploit. What does the buzzword "fractal" really mean? We often iterate customized research and development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market! Without implementation, you will lack initiatives. We have proven we know that if you aggregate intuitively then you may also deploy interactively. The TQC factor is customer-defined. Initech practically invented the term "integrated, granular, co-branded project management". What does the commonly-used buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? We have come to know that if you harness robustly then you may also whiteboard virtually. A company that can engineer easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to grow elegantly. The ability to unleash compellingly leads to the aptitude to deploy iteravely. A company that can orchestrate correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to embrace faithfully. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The mission-critical structuring factor is magnetic. We think that most intuitive entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough OWL. We will generate the ability of synergies to unleash. Quick: do you have a innovative plan of action for managing unplanned-for communities? Do you have a game plan to become customer-defined? A company that can deploy faithfully will (at some point) be able to actualize courageously.