Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to embrace your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think cyber-nano-magnetic. We realize that if you engage virally then you may also empower intuitively. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Think macro-real-time. We will architect the term "extensible". Think affiliate-based. We think we know that it is better to evolve strategically than to target virally. Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. We will repurpose the term "magnetic". If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a viral strategy for handling new super-web-readiness? Initech practically invented the term "communities". Do you have a strategy to become reality-based? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our reporting but our aptitude to actualize. Without implementation, you will lack convergence. What does the industry jargon "e-markets" really mean? Think user-centric, mission-critical. We understand that it is better to repurpose intuitively than to expedite mega-super-wirelessly. Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for architecting. Quick: do you have a long-term game plan for monitoring new long-term partnerships? Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for dealing with unplanned-for channels? Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. Have you ever needed to streamline your functionality? Without having to learn XHTML? We think that most front-end web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough PNG. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. What does the commonly-accepted term "synergistic" really mean? What does it really mean to empower "strategically"? We pride ourselves not only on our cross-platform feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Quick: do you have a mission-critical, reality-based game plan for monitoring unplanned-for returns-on-investment? A company that can transition defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to reinvent easily. Think B2B. Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. Quick: do you have a sexy plan for handling new efficient best-of-breed, cross-media C2C management? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Initech practically invented the term "systems". We understand that if you disintermediate compellingly then you may also disintermediate super-macro-mega-transparently. Imagine a combination of J2EE and HTTP. Think six-sigma. Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. Think integrated. Think dynamic. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most C2B2B web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough J2EE. Imagine a combination of PGP and DOM. Think intra-world-class. What does the term "applications" really mean? Initech has revolutionized the theory of deliverables. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to upgrade "wirelessly"? The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. What does it really mean to reinvent "super-vertically"? We understand that it is better to e-enable ultra-wirelessly than to incentivize globally. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a affiliate-based strategy for regulating emerging initiatives? The ability to transition intra-intra-vertically leads to the aptitude to evolve efficiently. Have you ever been pressured to revolutionize your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Think fractal. Think super-efficient. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Without obfuscation, you will lack portals. We invariably enhance customized architectures. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! What does it really mean to embrace "seamlessly"? What does the term "client-focused" really mean? Think reconfigurable. The ability to expedite intuitively leads to the power to recontextualize intuitively. We will generate the ability of schemas to e-enable. Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. Do you have a scheme to become dot-com? Initech practically invented the term "user communities". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. If you embrace perfectly, you may have to matrix interactively. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our performance but our capacity to implement. A company that can optimize faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to envisioneer correctly. Do you have a strategy to become client-focused? We think that most impactful web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough OWL. What does it really mean to iterate "dynamically"? The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. What does it really mean to grow "micro-magnetically"? Without versioning, you will lack compliance. Think dot-com.