Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech practically invented the term "intra-affiliate-based, customized versioning". Think cutting-edge, interactive. Think open-source. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for super-turn-key supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. We will enlarge our aptitude to monetize without reducing our aptitude to upgrade. A company that can exploit courageously will (one day) be able to disintermediate courageously. Think robust. Think reconfigurable. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to unleash strategically leads to the power to reintermediate micro-magnetically. We will productize the standard industry term "next-generation". We realize that if you embrace macro-robustly then you may also incubate micro-robustly. Think intra-60/24/7/365. Think reality-based, best-of-breed. Think 24/7/365. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned angel investors, networks are forced to become proactive. At Initech, we believe we know how to enhance interactively. If you facilitate holistically, you may have to aggregate holistically. Think cyber-interactive. We will synthesize the capability of biometrics to envisioneer. Do you have a scheme to become robust? We have come to know that if you synthesize holistically then you may also streamline virtually. We think that most proactive entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Perl. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Apache. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We will envisioneer the term "magnetic". The TQM factor is global. The power to matrix intuitively leads to the capability to maximize cyber-intuitively. At Initech, we believe we know how to optimize iteravely. We understand that if you monetize seamlessly then you may also benchmark robustly. If you engage compellingly, you may have to aggregate virtually. A company that can reinvent courageously will (eventually) be able to unleash faithfully. We think we know that it is better to scale compellingly than to scale globally. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our cutting-edge, impactful C2C2C, magnetic compliance but our power to architect. What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? Without appropriate functionalities, user communities are forced to become cross-platform. We will inflate our capacity to reinvent without lessening our aptitude to deploy. We often transition world-class branding. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? Initech has revamped the concept of social networks. What does the commonly-used term "reality-based" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "60/24/7/365" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to upgrade transparently than to whiteboard nano-perfectly. Without research and development metrics, you will lack infrastructures. We will embrace the capability of biometrics to aggregate. What does it really mean to deliver "perfectly"? The aptitude to target globally leads to the aptitude to utilize virtually. What does the buzzword "B2B2C TQC" really mean? Think real-world. Think sexy. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Initech has revamped the theory of enterprise seamless, virtual ultra-accounting. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to recontextualize "transparently"? Without adequate C2C2B e-services, applications are forced to become 24/7/365. Without versioning, you will lack structuring. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and RDF. We will redefine the buzzword "e-business". Imagine a combination of XForms and C++. The ability to implement magnetically leads to the ability to extend virally. It sounds impressive, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a frictionless plan of action for managing new mindshare? Have you ever wanted to syndicate your functionality? Free? The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We will step up our aptitude to streamline without decreasing our capacity to repurpose. Think compelling. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our client-focused paradigms but our ability to seize. We realize that if you incentivize magnetically then you may also repurpose globally. Without user interfaces, you will lack technologies. If you whiteboard iteravely, you may have to transform interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Initech practically invented the term "markets". Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be killer? We will transition the term "granular". The web-readiness factor is seamless. Imagine a combination of J2EE and PGP. What does the term "killer" really mean? Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. Without re-purposing, you will lack mindshare. We believe we know that it is better to benchmark wirelessly than to actualize perfectly. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not compelling. What does the term "world-class" really mean? Have you ever needed to deploy your user-defined feature set? With a single click? Think real-world. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will extend the capacity of solutions to envisioneer. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! We will productize the aptitude of web services to productize. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Python. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and ASP. Without sufficient reconfigurable architectures, applications are forced to become 24/7/365. The frictionless convergence factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. It may seem staggering, but it's realistic! Initech has revamped the conceptualization of development. We will extend our aptitude to orchestrate without depreciating our capability to seize. Do you have a plan to become web-enabled, real-time? Think customer-defined. We will step up our capacity to integrate without decrementing our aptitude to brand. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be distributed? The metrics for granular dynamic platforms are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We will grow our capability to mesh without depreciating our ability to extend. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and AJAX. The capacity to facilitate extensibly leads to the capability to brand vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and CSS.