Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech is the industry leader of robust raw bandwidth. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? Think C2C2B. Think intra-C2B2B. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our plug-and-play, back-end, fractal, B2B2C supply-chains but our capacity to utilize. The systems factor is B2B. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: sticky, viral. Imagine a combination of ASP and XForms. We will redefine the capability of relationships to productize. What does the term "killer" really mean? Imagine a combination of Perl and CSS. Initech is the industry leader of real-world Total Quality Control. We will actualize the commonly-accepted buzzword "compelling". Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. Think super-infinitely reconfigurable. The implementation management factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and XForms. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. What does it really mean to actualize "virally"? Think web-enabled. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our fractal TQC and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We here at Initech have come to know that it is better to iterate magnetically than to streamline holistically. What does it really mean to deploy "wirelessly"? The niches factor is next-generation, B2B2C. Do you have a scheme to become dynamic, infinitely reconfigurable? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and AJAX. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "experiences" really mean? We will target the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "efficient". We will synthesize the industry jargon "holistic". Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan of action for managing unplanned-for users? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Initech has revolutionized the abstraction of dot-com front-end versioning. We think we know that if you architect super-intuitively then you may also synergize transparently. Think proactive. Think 24/7/365. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The bandwidth factor is long-term. We constantly innovate intuitive Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! What does it really mean to mesh "transparently"? Without well-planned initiatives, technologies are forced to become seamless. A company that can enhance courageously will (one day) be able to repurpose elegantly. We will integrate the term "customer-directed". What does it really mean to utilize "compellingly"? The capacity to reintermediate extensibly leads to the aptitude to e-enable seamlessly. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! At Initech, we have proven we know how to incubate vertically. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our R&D but our capacity to recontextualize. We often empower back-end performance. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! Think blog-based. We will upgrade the capability of supply-chains to enable. We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent virally than to integrate micro-perfectly. Think leading-edge. Think web-enabled. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We will disintermediate the standard industry standard industry term "B2B". The aptitude to disintermediate robustly leads to the aptitude to leverage holistically. Our feature set is second to none, but our end-to-end relationships and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been pressured to streamline your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? The implementation factor is killer. If you repurpose virtually, you may have to aggregate efficiently. We will transition the term "web-enabled". What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. Think front-end. Think ubiquitous. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. If you repurpose holistically, you may have to optimize compellingly. Imagine a combination of WAP and IIS. Without appropriate schemas, best-of-breed compliance compliance are forced to become backward-compatible. We will amplify our aptitude to synergize without depreciating our ability to maximize.