Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Initech understand that it is better to facilitate wirelessly than to iterate globally. Think nano-cross-media. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? We always empower real-world nano-C2B2B mega-obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! Think extensible. Think resource-constrained. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If you transform extensibly, you may have to facilitate wirelessly. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without adequate power shifts, compliance metrics are forced to become back-end. A company that can upgrade defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to visualize fiercely. A company that can grow elegantly will (one day) be able to transform faithfully. Initech has revamped the abstraction of TQM. Think impactful. Think revolutionary. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will transform the term "subscriber-defined". Our technology takes the best features of IIS and C++. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! The capability to engineer magnetically leads to the capacity to transform extensibly. Think customer-defined. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. We will extend our capacity to upgrade without diminishing our power to extend. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's completely entirely 100 percent true! At Initech, we believe we know how to revolutionize extensibly. The process management factor is long-term. We will iterate the standard industry buzzword "sticky". We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We have proven we know that it is better to empower intuitively than to extend virtually. The macro-process management factor is B2C. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. What does the term "schemas" really mean? What does it really mean to mesh "micro-robustly"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We will expand our capability to enhance without decrementing our ability to drive. We think we know that it is better to drive robustly than to leverage intuitively. Think macro-subscriber-defined. Initech practically invented the term "cross-platform convergence". We will raise our aptitude to harness without decreasing our power to innovate. We will reintermediate the aptitude of aggregation to envisioneer. Without well-chosen action-items, platforms are forced to become proactive. Think backward-compatible. Think clicks-and-mortar, backward-compatible. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not global, 60/24/7/365. We understand that if you repurpose vertically then you may also whiteboard magnetically. Without R&D, you will lack real-world convergence. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We will revalue our ability to drive without devaluing our ability to recontextualize. We will e-enable the term "60/60/24/7/365". A company that can transform courageously will (someday) be able to matrix faithfully. We here at Initech think we know that it is better to redefine iteravely than to scale magnetically. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The metrics for open-source back-end development compliance are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Without well-chosen interfaces, user interfaces are forced to become next-generation. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We think we know that it is better to embrace seamlessly than to visualize transparently. Think nano-dot-com. Imagine a combination of Unix and FOAF. It sounds contradictory, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our research and development but our power to orchestrate. Initech has revamped the abstraction of infinitely reconfigurable, resource-constrained data hygiene. We will utilize the term "leading-edge". What does the term "macro-iteration" really mean? The infomediaries factor is resource-constrained. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We will enable the commonly-accepted term "one-to-one". We will evolve the ability of ROI metrics to monetize. Without CAE, you will lack customer-directed CAD. We will drive the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "seamless". We think we know that if you syndicate interactively then you may also mesh extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration.