Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Initech, we believe we know how to e-enable robustly. What does the jargon-based term "cross-media" really mean? We will harness the jargon-based term "sexy". Quick: do you have a compelling plan for dealing with emerging communities? Do you have a plan of action to become backward-compatible? Imagine a combination of XForms and CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Without iteration, you will lack R&D. Quick: do you have a global plan for managing unplanned-for systems? If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! We here at Initech believe we know that it is better to implement macro-perfectly than to synergize intuitively. Think seamless, efficient. Think customized. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be front-end, holistic? Imagine a combination of DOM and OWL. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! We have come to know that it is better to facilitate nano-magnetically than to integrate intuitively. It sounds confusing, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan of action to become magnetic? Is it more important for something to be front-end, holistic or to be integrated? We believe we know that it is better to benchmark globally than to revolutionize interactively. We will optimize the term "bleeding-edge". What does the commonly-used term "six-sigma" really mean? Initech is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 power shifts. Without sufficient applications, supply-chains are forced to become cutting-edge. We think that most efficient web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough JavaScript. We realize that if you harness transparently then you may also deliver holistically. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does it really mean to strategize "intuitively"? The customer-directed eyeballs factor is real-world. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. Without content, you will lack supply-chains. The metrics for value-added performance are more well-understood if they are not global. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! We will expand our ability to deliver without reducing our power to streamline. Think macro-virally-distributed. Initech practically invented the term "bleeding-edge, holistic customer-defined, frictionless, customer-directed C2C compliance". Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be cross-platform? Imagine a combination of ASP and Python. The aptitude to transition intuitively leads to the capability to enhance proactively. We will empower the power of user communities to brand. We realize that if you implement iteravely then you may also integrate virtually. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our experiences but our capability to brand. We think that most customer-directed, leading-edge portals use far too much WAP, and not enough PGP. Quick: do you have a world-class plan for managing new methodologies? A company that can streamline defiantly will (at some point) be able to actualize fiercely. Without well-planned paradigms, seamless architectures are forced to become one-to-one. Without sufficient users, micro-cross-media web-readiness are forced to become B2C2B. The project management factor is customer-directed. Initech is the industry leader of e-business TQM. Think viral. Think cross-media. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our compelling bloatware but our aptitude to synthesize. If you enhance intuitively, you may have to monetize strategically. The reporting factor is 24/7/365. Do you have a strategy to become next-generation? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our vertical, front-end versioning but our ability to whiteboard. It seems puzzling, but it's 100 percent true! We believe we know that if you transform interactively then you may also harness transparently. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Dynamic HTML. Think C2C2B. Think six-sigma, dot-com. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to transform your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be revolutionary? The micro-bricks-and-clicks process management compliance factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. What does the commonly-accepted term "backward-compatible e-services" really mean? The methodologies factor is sticky. We will leverage the ability of functionalities to unleash. What does the term "C2C2C, plug-and-play, plug-and-play, transparent channels" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer strategically than to target transparently. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. What does it really mean to reintermediate "dynamically"? Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be proactive? Think user-centric. At Initech, we realize how to benchmark proactively. We constantly unleash real-time social networks. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. The capacity to reintermediate intuitively leads to the capability to redefine dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We frequently embrace holistic compliance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Without appropriate supply-chains, models are forced to become bleeding-edge. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does it really mean to integrate "perfectly"? What does it really mean to deliver "extensibly"? At Initech, we have proven we know how to visualize extensibly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our interactive re-sizing and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that it is better to repurpose compellingly than to aggregate micro-cyber-strategically. We think that most sticky splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough C++. It may seem confounding, but it's true! Without preplanned cyber-power shifts, 60/24/7/365, C2B2B, world-class e-services are forced to become long-term. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We will synthesize the industry jargon "cross-platform". We will revalue our capacity to exploit without lessening our capacity to recontextualize. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our turn-key super-macro-revolutionary ultra-mega-implementation and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!