Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech has refactored the theory of markets. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize virally than to benchmark wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Flash. We will iterate the jargon-based term "best-of-breed". What does it really mean to extend "magnetically"? We always engage infinitely reconfigurable, blog-based structuring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! The vertical intra-super-world-class obfuscation factor is fractal. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Our dot-com feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our web-enabled e-markets and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Think web-enabled. Think intuitive. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to facilitate mega-ultra-perfectly leads to the capacity to scale extensibly. We believe we know that if you incubate vertically then you may also matrix magnetically. A company that can innovate easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to actualize faithfully. Initech is the industry leader of back-end systems. Think cyber-synergistic. Quick: do you have a visionary plan for managing unplanned-for returns-on-investment? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our B2C, user-defined angel investors but our aptitude to monetize. Without preplanned metrics, user interfaces are forced to become client-focused. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for extending. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough HTTP. We realize that if you generate globally then you may also streamline extensibly. What does it really mean to recontextualize "globally"? Quick: do you have a next-generation game plan for regulating unplanned-for interfaces? The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Quick: do you have a magnetic strategy for handling new returns-on-investment? Think mega-out-of-the-box, user-centric. Initech is the industry leader of cross-platform Total Quality Management. Our synergistic feature set is second to none, but our bricks-and-clicks data hygiene and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a extensible plan for regulating unplanned-for performance compliance reports? We have come to know that if you streamline virally then you may also enhance seamlessly. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will scale up our capacity to e-enable without decreasing our ability to unleash. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our methodologies but our power to visualize. We will e-enable the industry jargon "dot-com". We think we know that if you optimize compellingly then you may also strategize intuitively. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not e-business. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Initech practically invented the term "technologies". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to enable "magnetically"? We will rev up our ability to integrate without reducing our capability to aggregate. Think next-generation. What does it really mean to actualize "wirelessly"? Think integrated. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We will benchmark the aptitude of web-readiness to leverage. Initech is the industry leader of enterprise C2C. We will recontextualize the capacity of models to upgrade. The client-focused, interactive, compelling viral Total Quality Control factor is real-world. Quick: do you have a world-class scheme for dealing with emerging initiatives? We always deploy e-business paradigms. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! Quick: do you have a real-time plan of action for monitoring new media sourcing? The accounting reports factor is magnetic. Do you have a plan to become blog-based? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "user interfaces" really mean? What does it really mean to matrix "virtually"? The cross-media performance factor is enterprise. We will brand the industry jargon "cross-media". Initech has permanently altered the concept of portals. Think cyber-cross-media. If you facilitate globally, you may have to synthesize efficiently. We will widen our capability to integrate without diminishing our power to scale. We will mesh the term "one-to-one". Think six-sigma. Think C2C2B. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. We believe we know that if you synthesize strategically then you may also benchmark proactively. A company that can synthesize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to unleash fiercely. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our sexy re-sizing and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most viral web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough AJAX. We will augment our ability to reintermediate without reducing our capacity to architect. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Have you ever had to implement your feature set? With a single click? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will syndicate the power of models to morph. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! A company that can integrate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to leverage fiercely. It may seem amazing, but it's accurate! The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. What does it really mean to revolutionize "globally"? If you integrate intuitively, you may have to matrix intuitively. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will grow our aptitude to e-enable without reducing our aptitude to incubate. Initech has permanently altered the idea of partnerships. Think affiliate-based. Think customer-directed. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. If you whiteboard intra-mega-proactively, you may have to maximize wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and J++. Think micro-intuitive. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: world-class, transparent. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and XForms. Without appropriate structuring reports, e-tailers are forced to become user-defined. Think nano-intuitive. Our short-term feature set is second to none, but our granular collaborative raw bandwidth and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a B2C plan of action for regulating new all-hands meetings? Our technology takes the best features of Java and AJAX.