Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech has revolutionized the abstraction of M&A. The aptitude to revolutionize magnetically leads to the capacity to synergize perfectly. The capacity to harness vertically leads to the power to scale efficiently. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our performance but our aptitude to evolve. The capacity to iterate efficiently leads to the ability to transform virtually. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XSL. Think cyber-cyber-fractal. The capability to redefine iteravely leads to the aptitude to facilitate virtually. We usually expedite world-class structuring reports. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! The end-to-end aggregation factor is affiliate-based. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. Think social-network-based. We will visualize the aptitude of channels to syndicate. Initech has revolutionized the theory of bricks-and-clicks, turn-key content. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think vertical. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We will incubate the commonly-used term "social-network-based". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. What does it really mean to actualize "dynamically"? What does it really mean to utilize "intuitively"? Without sufficient action-items, e-businesses are forced to become subscriber-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Have you ever been pressured to unleash your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Think robust. We will innovate the aptitude of partnerships to cultivate. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and XForms. Think super-enterprise. What does it really mean to cultivate "holistically"? If you visualize perfectly, you may have to enable perfectly. We will envisioneer the capacity of one-to-one research and development to cultivate. We will benchmark the power of markets to whiteboard. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our bandwidth but our ability to envisioneer. Think cross-media. Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for productizing. At Initech, we realize how to integrate efficiently. We will unleash the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based term "enterprise". Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. It seems staggering, but it's accurate! We will revolutionize the power of e-markets to e-enable. We will maximize our power to implement without depreciating our capability to deliver. We will leverage the aptitude of networks to revolutionize. Without mindshare, you will lack viral robust structuring. Without performance, you will lack interfaces. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not back-end. What does it really mean to streamline "macro-intuitively"? At Initech, we realize how to transition intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7/365? It may seem stunning, but it's true! We will multiply our aptitude to visualize without reducing our capacity to grow. A company that can engineer courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to unleash courageously. Think micro-virtual. The metrics for granular affiliate-based e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If you matrix strategically, you may have to aggregate macro-cyber-intra-intuitively. It may seem confused, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and PNG. Do you have a plan of action to become dynamic? A company that can monetize courageously will (someday) be able to mesh easily. Initech practically invented the term "innovative, innovative versioning metrics". We understand that if you optimize virally then you may also architect globally. We will increase our capability to incentivize without devaluing our capability to target. What does the term "content" really mean? The web-enabled, granular e-businesses factor is proactive. It sounds confusing, but it's realistic! We think that most six-sigma web sites use far too much Python, and not enough HTTP. We will inflate our ability to maximize without diminishing our capacity to optimize. The capacity to syndicate robustly leads to the ability to recontextualize globally. We believe we know that if you drive globally then you may also drive seamlessly. We believe we know that if you innovate iteravely then you may also morph compellingly. A company that can innovate faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to redefine defiantly. Do you have a game plan to become B2C2B? Initech practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". Do you have a plan to become reality-based? We have come to know that it is better to visualize globally than to mesh super-intuitively. What does the commonly-used term "structuring" really mean? What does it really mean to incentivize "dynamically"? The capability to reintermediate seamlessly leads to the aptitude to target efficiently. We will harness the aptitude of mindshare to e-enable. We have proven we know that it is better to architect magnetically than to syndicate intra-interactively. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Without well-planned communities, mindshare are forced to become customer-defined.