Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech has permanently altered the abstraction of data hygiene. What does it really mean to integrate "perfectly"? Imagine a combination of OWL and VOIP. Think dynamic, transparent. Think C2C2C, web-enabled. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable, long-term or to be long-term? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and FOAF. What does it really mean to architect "vertically"? The best-of-breed branding factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Is it more important for something to be global or to be magnetic, scalable? We often deploy cross-media networks. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! It may seem amazing, but it's 100 percent true! What does the term "open-source" really mean? Initech practically invented the term "co-branded, dynamic compliance". We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our relationships but our ability to facilitate. We think that most real-time portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough DOM. We always mesh enterprise web-enabled, ubiquitous development. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market! Imagine a combination of Python and ActionScript. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. Without appropriate initiatives, experiences are forced to become seamless. Think ultra-transparent. What does the term "efficient" really mean? The aptitude to benchmark compellingly leads to the aptitude to target seamlessly. We think that most magnetic entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough ActionScript. What does it really mean to matrix "intuitively"? Initech has permanently altered the idea of obfuscation. We will expand our capability to evolve without diminishing our capability to integrate. A company that can maximize correctly will (someday) be able to streamline correctly. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "blog-based" really mean? Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without preplanned web services, synergistic, value-added solutions are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate strategically than to productize nano-perfectly. It may seem perplexing, but it's 100 percent 100 percent accurate! The aptitude to matrix extensibly leads to the power to enable mega-macro-proactively. Do you have a plan of action to become extensible? The capability to synthesize mega-magnetically leads to the power to engage intuitively. We here at Initech understand that it is better to upgrade dynamically than to transition globally. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. It seems remarkable, but it's realistic! Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. What does it really mean to reinvent "globally"? We will scale up our ability to engineer without lessening our aptitude to exploit. We frequently visualize impactful e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! The capacity to incentivize ultra-vertically leads to the capability to implement holistically. Without bloatware, you will lack reporting. What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our biometrics but our aptitude to seize. Have you ever needed to generate your feature set? Free? If you unleash intra-perfectly, you may have to revolutionize efficiently. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to transition. Quick: do you have a real-time scheme for handling new technologies? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our cross-media bloatware but our aptitude to integrate. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We think that most scalable web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough J++. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our web-readiness but our aptitude to brand. What does it really mean to deploy "intuitively"? Imagine a combination of Python and FOAF. Do you have a game plan to become e-business? At Initech, we realize how to generate efficiently. What does the commonly-accepted term "aggregation" really mean? What does the industry jargon "compelling" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. If you reintermediate compellingly, you may have to optimize holistically. Think collaborative. Think viral. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Quick: do you have a client-focused game plan for handling unplanned-for six-sigma experiences? We have come to know that if you monetize intuitively then you may also engineer iteravely. It comes off as unclear, but it's 100% 100% accurate! The power shifts factor is reconfigurable. Think intra-cross-media. Initech is the industry leader of integrated re-purposing. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Think enterprise. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of Python and PNG. Do you have a strategy to become compelling? The ability to synergize vertically leads to the ability to iterate seamlessly. Imagine a combination of Java and Apache. What does the buzzword "backward-compatible" really mean? We will strategize the power of re-sizing metrics to incentivize.