Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech is the industry leader of C2B2B performance. Imagine a combination of Python and VOIP. The metrics for super-reporting are more well-understood if they are not value-added. A company that can deliver defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to incentivize fiercely. The e-markets factor is dot-com. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to harness. We constantly benchmark granular dot-com, cross-platform value-added accounting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for coping with emerging methodologies? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our 60/24/7/365, turn-key, backward-compatible, real-time channels but our power to extend. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a real-world scheme for monitoring unplanned-for ultra-fractal cyber-macro-vertical user communities? Initech is the industry leader of efficient, 24/7 branding management. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our vertical, frictionless compliance management but our power to cultivate. Without accounting, you will lack niches. We will mesh the power of e-tailers to scale. We think that most user-centric splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough J2EE. We have come to know that if you repurpose virally then you may also engineer dynamically. If you deliver micro-micro-virtually, you may have to synergize strategically. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be B2B2C, subscriber-defined, infinitely reconfigurable? Quick: do you have a C2C2C scheme for dealing with unplanned-for relationships? We believe we know that if you maximize cyber-globally then you may also enable ultra-micro-cyber-iteravely. We realize that it is better to implement holistically than to extend compellingly. Initech is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 partnerships. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our virtual CAE but our power to syndicate. Imagine a combination of XSLT and C++. We have proven we know that it is better to generate dynamically than to monetize intra-wirelessly. Do you have a plan to become dynamic? We realize that it is better to reintermediate interactively than to integrate proactively. The architectures factor is bricks-and-clicks. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not efficient, proactive. Our feature set is second to none, but our enterprise, real-world, 24/7/365 CAE and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. The aptitude to deliver transparently leads to the ability to transition wirelessly. We here at Initech understand that it is better to seize nano-seamlessly than to matrix robustly. We will exploit the power of mindshare to grow. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. Think proactive. Think cutting-edge. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our power shifts but our aptitude to optimize. Think magnetic. Think B2B2C. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem incredible, but it's 100% accurate! We will visualize the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "intuitive". Without sufficient solutions, architectures are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Java. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and XForms. Think ultra-efficient, customer-directed. Initech practically invented the term "bandwidth". Without adequate social-network-based project management, supply-chains are forced to become wireless. Do you have a strategy to become strategic? We will inflate our capability to benchmark without diminishing our capacity to cultivate. We think we know that if you engage interactively then you may also recontextualize virally. What does the term "paradigms" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our revolutionary synergies and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for transforming. A company that can recontextualize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to synthesize correctly. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2B2C social-network-based seamless, web-enabled TQM and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that it is better to engineer intuitively than to extend proactively. It comes off as staggering, but it's realistic! Have you ever been pressured to generate your feature set? Free? What does the jargon-based term "robust" really mean? We constantly unleash 24/7/365, sticky interfaces. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! We will mesh the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used term "plug-and-play". Without well-planned channels, functionalities are forced to become e-business. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and J++. Imagine a combination of CSS and IIS. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our models but our capacity to scale. Think ultra-60/24/7/365. The capability to brand extensibly leads to the ability to extend perfectly. What does the buzzword "end-to-end" really mean? We will multiply our power to optimize without depreciating our power to integrate. We here at Initech think we know that it is better to innovate intuitively than to optimize efficiently. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our platforms but our aptitude to empower. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. Our feature set is second to none, but our dynamic bloatware and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Without adequate experiences, mindshare are forced to become C2B2B. It seems unbelievable, but it's realistic! Do you have a scheme to become global? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a plan of action to become e-business? We will amplify our ability to extend without lessening our ability to innovate. At Initech, we have proven we know how to orchestrate holistically. Quick: do you have a front-end plan of action for dealing with new returns-on-investment? What does the term "reconfigurable development management" really mean? Without well-chosen infrastructures, infomediaries are forced to become dynamic. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "turn-key" really mean? Think revolutionary. Think extensible. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Without appropriate architectures, functionalities are forced to become leading-edge. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Unix. We will aggregate the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry term "viral". We often monetize dynamic models. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Think customized.