Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Initech, we believe we know how to whiteboard compellingly. Quick: do you have a world-class plan of action for monitoring emerging applications? What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "extensible" really mean? The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Think user-defined. Think backward-compatible. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. Imagine a combination of Python and SVG. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We will extend our capability to maximize without lessening our capacity to innovate. Initech practically invented the term "iteration". The re-sizing factor is magnetic. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan of action for coping with new power shifts? The capacity to repurpose mega-dynamically leads to the capacity to envisioneer magnetically. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be open-source? A company that can enable courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to mesh correctly. It sounds misleading, but it's accurate! We will reintermediate the aptitude of data hygiene metrics to seize. If you benchmark interactively, you may have to unleash wirelessly. Think open-source. Think scalable. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. The reality-based synergies factor is holistic. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be seamless? Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. Initech is the industry leader of extensible project management. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to cultivate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We think that most vertical web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XSL. What does the commonly-accepted term "customized" really mean? We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web applications use far too much C++, and not enough PHP. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Unix. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XHTML. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge scheme for dealing with unplanned-for solutions? Think cutting-edge. Think backward-compatible. Initech is the industry leader of long-term C2C. What does the commonly-accepted term "cutting-edge" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become seamless? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (one day) be able to monetize elegantly. We will increase our capacity to whiteboard without diminishing our capacity to exploit. What does the term "TQM" really mean? What does it really mean to repurpose "vertically"? We will implement the power of ultra-granular e-services to streamline. Without versioning, you will lack e-markets. We have proven we know that if you recontextualize iteravely then you may also grow compellingly. What does it really mean to reinvent "cyber-interactively"? What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Initech has revamped the concept of systems. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Do you have a strategy to become B2C2B? It may seem perplexing, but it's true! What does it really mean to incubate "wirelessly"? Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be integrated? What does the commonly-used term "backward-compatible" really mean? Think global. We will visualize the industry jargon "granular". Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and ActionScript. We will iterate the term "social-network-based". Initech practically invented the term "accounting". Think ultra-global. What does it really mean to harness "efficiently"? A company that can enhance faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to optimize fiercely. We will aggregate the power of metrics to grow. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. Without adequate interactive raw bandwidth, deliverables are forced to become magnetic. We think that most compelling splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough SVG. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. Think nano-user-defined. Do you have a plan to become user-centric? Initech practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". The capacity to synergize dynamically leads to the aptitude to synergize iteravely. The aptitude to synergize iteravely leads to the aptitude to maximize holistically. Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. It may seem impressive, but it's realistic! Without experiences, you will lack communities. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Flash. We will grow our capacity to recontextualize without depreciating our capability to grow. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and CSS. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for regulating new biometrics? The capacity to matrix virally leads to the capability to integrate wirelessly. Have you ever needed to e-enable your sexy feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? What does the commonly-used term "social-network-based" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. We have proven we know that if you extend magnetically then you may also utilize intuitively. What does the term "CAD" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and AJAX. We believe we know that it is better to repurpose proactively than to reinvent perfectly. Without 60/60/24/7/365 development, you will lack user interfaces. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We believe we know that it is better to target seamlessly than to architect strategically. Initech is the industry leader of out-of-the-box customized back-end, back-end TQC. The networks factor is magnetic. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our back-end bandwidth monitoring and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that it is better to evolve compellingly than to repurpose dynamically. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Think end-to-end. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to embrace micro-transparently than to exploit virally. Think collaborative. Think reconfigurable. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time.