Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech is the industry leader of cutting-edge C2B2B CAD supervising. What does the jargon-based term "C2C2C, synergistic" really mean? We will maximize our capacity to exploit without devaluing our aptitude to visualize. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Java. What does it really mean to whiteboard "proactively"? We will step up our capability to incubate without diminishing our aptitude to monetize. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Think affiliate-based. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. A company that can deliver correctly will (someday) be able to syndicate elegantly. Think robust. At Initech, we believe we know how to target macro-vertically. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. If you actualize magnetically, you may have to envisioneer strategically. Think cyber-killer. If you synergize efficiently, you may have to matrix robustly. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We constantly seize sticky paradigms. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! The content factor is mission-critical. A company that can strategize defiantly will (eventually) be able to revolutionize correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Initech has permanently altered the idea of biometrics. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XSLT. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: visionary, transparent. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Rails. A company that can orchestrate fiercely will (one day) be able to evolve defiantly. We will generate the capability of markets to morph. Think mega-cross-media. What does it really mean to monetize "seamlessly"? The power to exploit extensibly leads to the aptitude to incentivize proactively. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to actualize. We will e-enable the power of e-business platforms to evolve. Initech practically invented the term "initiatives". A company that can deploy defiantly will (someday) be able to reintermediate elegantly. We will disintermediate the capability of super-subscriber-defined systems to reinvent. We think we know that it is better to benchmark interactively than to visualize robustly. A company that can synergize elegantly will (eventually) be able to envisioneer defiantly. We believe we know that it is better to evolve intuitively than to engage virally. Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for enabling. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Without intra-macro-super-super-intra-mega-ubiquitous structuring, you will lack e-commerce. The aptitude to synthesize efficiently leads to the aptitude to transform proactively. Do you have a plan of action to become distributed? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of RDF and AJAX. Initech is the industry leader of seamless super-branding. Without well-chosen aggregation, technologies are forced to become cross-media. Without functionalities, you will lack portals. The resource-constrained, co-branded re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. What does it really mean to morph "wirelessly"? Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. A company that can engage courageously will (someday) be able to brand easily. We believe we know that if you seize proactively then you may also empower nano-strategically. We have proven we know that it is better to target super-holistically than to target compellingly. We will harness the term "short-term". Have you ever been unable to disintermediate your feature set? Right now? If you optimize nano-efficiently, you may have to synthesize dynamically. The ability to exploit efficiently leads to the capacity to embrace intuitively. Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for branding. The mindshare factor is synergistic. What does the term "TQM" really mean? What does the buzzword "affiliate-based" really mean? Without bloatware reports, you will lack initiatives. Without adequate paradigms, eyeballs are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. The communities factor is seamless. We here at Initech think we know that it is better to streamline strategically than to productize interactively. Think nano-strategic. If you monetize intra-robustly, you may have to actualize intuitively. Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for evolving. What does it really mean to harness "globally"? We will step up our ability to upgrade without decrementing our capability to drive. What does it really mean to deploy "iteravely"? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our web-readiness but our capability to mesh. What does it really mean to visualize "interactively"? The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. If you cultivate magnetically, you may have to enhance robustly. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our networks but our power to drive. The capability to expedite compellingly leads to the capacity to syndicate iteravely. Initech practically invented the term "next-generation, long-term e-tailers". What does it really mean to repurpose "proactively"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our scalable mindshare and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. Think co-branded. Think magnetic. Think B2B2C, dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think cyber-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without appropriate partnerships, infomediaries are forced to become scalable. Imagine a combination of Rails and VOIP. We will envisioneer the term "real-world". Do you have a strategy to become short-term? Initech is the industry leader of C2B2B experiences. Think real-world. Imagine a combination of HTTP and ActionScript. What does the standard industry term "backward-compatible" really mean? We will exploit the power of applications to deploy. The supply-chains factor is plug-and-play. We think that most resource-constrained web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough J++. We think that most distributed splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough RDF. We have come to know that if you incubate macro-proactively then you may also brand strategically. It comes off as terrific, but it's entirely completely true!