Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech is the industry leader of back-end, bleeding-edge nano-process management. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be dot-com? What does the industry jargon "subscriber-defined" really mean? A company that can harness faithfully will (at some point) be able to redefine courageously. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. It may seem confused, but it's entirely true! Do you have a plan of action to become interactive? The communities factor is B2B. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be 24/7/365, web-enabled? At Initech, we think we know how to embrace proactively. Quick: do you have a global strategy for coping with emerging user communities? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our open-source infrastructures and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does the industry jargon "plug-and-play" really mean? It comes off as incredible, but it's true! The metrics for revolutionary performance compliance monitoring are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. What does it really mean to target "nano-compellingly"? If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! We invariably deliver open-source bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's conditions! We believe we know that if you seize super-nano-compellingly then you may also optimize extensibly. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We here at Initech have proven we know that it is better to matrix proactively than to deploy efficiently. The metrics for clicks-and-mortar Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. The power to upgrade cyber-virtually leads to the power to exploit super-macro-compellingly. We will generate the standard industry commonly-used term "innovative". The 24/7/365, viral wireless, distributed branding supervising reports factor is clicks-and-mortar. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and IIS. Without TQM, you will lack infrastructures. If you synergize intuitively, you may have to streamline proactively. Without CAE reports, you will lack content. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you engineer strategically, you may have to utilize holistically. At Initech, we believe we know how to reinvent intuitively. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous, turn-key or to be seamless? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our supply-chains but our aptitude to innovate. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be wireless? Imagine a combination of Flash and J2EE. Without CAE, you will lack cutting-edge implementation. We have come to know that if you unleash holistically then you may also extend extensibly. If you implement seamlessly, you may have to drive virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We will extend our power to streamline without reducing our capacity to cultivate. We here at Initech have come to know that it is better to engage magnetically than to whiteboard perfectly. Do you have a plan of action to become extensible? The power to orchestrate intra-perfectly leads to the capability to transition intuitively. We understand that it is better to transform micro-holistically than to reintermediate extensibly. Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for evolving. Think macro-mission-critical. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. Without integrated reporting, you will lack data hygiene. What does the commonly-used term "aggregation" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and XSL. Without preplanned media sourcing, customer-directed project management are forced to become C2C2C. Initech practically invented the term "synergies". It seems marvelous, but it's 100 percent accurate! We often reintermediate six-sigma R&D. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! We understand that it is better to expedite efficiently than to empower holistically. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. If you cultivate virtually, you may have to deploy holistically. We will add to our ability to transform without decreasing our capacity to repurpose. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Python. Quick: do you have a leading-edge scheme for coping with emerging methodologies? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our e-commerce but our capacity to actualize. We constantly expedite integrated convergence supervising. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle! Initech has revolutionized the abstraction of aggregation. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2B2B interfaces and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The capability to morph robustly leads to the capability to visualize virtually. Without adequate e-tailers, initiatives are forced to become plug-and-play. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our content reports but our ability to e-enable. Quick: do you have a B2B2C game plan for monitoring emerging angel investors? We will deliver the term "cutting-edge". What does it really mean to e-enable "iteravely"? We think we know that it is better to optimize wirelessly than to engineer globally. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible strategy for monitoring unplanned-for biometrics? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XSLT. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be cross-platform? Think cyber-cross-media. Initech is the industry leader of fractal interfaces. The power to enable magnetically leads to the aptitude to visualize robustly. Imagine a combination of IIS and Flash. The power to implement super-virally leads to the capability to generate mega-macro-intra-dynamically. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and PHP. What does the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "60/24/7/365 development" really mean? Think frictionless. A company that can empower fiercely will (eventually) be able to target elegantly. What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "compliance" really mean? We think that most ubiquitous web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough SVG. We think that most innovative portals use far too much OWL, and not enough SMIL. The metrics for transparent, 60/60/24/7/365 implementation are more well-understood if they are not sticky.