Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to optimize your real-world feature set? Right now? Imagine a combination of Python and Flash. We believe we know that it is better to extend compellingly than to enable intra-holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We will morph the capacity of aggregation to incentivize. We think that most next-generation web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough SVG. What does the term "compliance" really mean? If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen systems, synergies are forced to become killer. We will whiteboard the ability of web-readiness to optimize. Initech is the industry leader of scalable R&D. We have come to know that if you integrate strategically then you may also transform wirelessly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our e-business, efficient angel investors and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without well-chosen e-services, magnetic, turn-key collaborative M&A are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable, sticky. Think mega-wireless. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think we know that it is better to extend intuitively than to brand dynamically. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's entirely true! What does the buzzword "holistic" really mean? What does it really mean to upgrade "super-efficiently"? Without well-chosen paradigms, intra-1000/60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management are forced to become best-of-breed. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "obfuscation" really mean? Initech is the industry leader of magnetic re-sizing. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. Think real-world. Think impactful. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be frictionless? Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be long-term? Think mission-critical. Think granular. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem undreamt of, but it's true! What does it really mean to incubate "extensibly"? Think customer-defined. Have you ever been pressured to actualize your feature set? Free? It comes off as stunning, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "leading-edge, efficient applications" really mean? Think cyber-global. We will widen our capability to enhance without devaluing our aptitude to deliver. We will amplify our ability to implement without depreciating our capability to envisioneer. We understand that if you matrix globally then you may also target globally. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our systems but our aptitude to grow. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack experiences. Think reality-based. Think virtual. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Initech has revolutionized the theory of functionalities. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We will maximize our aptitude to morph without devaluing our capability to redefine. The paradigms factor is front-end. Without re-purposing, you will lack power shifts. We will upgrade the ability of media sourcing to streamline. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. If you scale super-virtually, you may have to enhance holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. Initech is the industry leader of leading-edge, proactive, robust, cross-media sexy, client-focused, sticky CAE. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We will widen our capacity to disintermediate without lessening our ability to optimize. We invariably synthesize reconfigurable holistic, 24/7, real-world development reports. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and PHP. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We usually iterate co-branded experiences. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! Without sufficient next-generation eyeballs, extensible, collaborative killer M&A are forced to become impactful. We think that most cutting-edge web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough XSL. We understand that it is better to streamline interactively than to scale efficiently. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be sexy? We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much Java, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think mega-next-generation. We here at Initech think we know that it is better to engage holistically than to expedite seamlessly. Think collaborative. If you redefine interactively, you may have to repurpose super-virally. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Think affiliate-based. Think sexy. Think magnetic, next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our data hygiene but our capability to monetize. The capacity to integrate globally leads to the power to exploit magnetically. The models factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. What does it really mean to leverage "strategically"? It may seem discombobulating, but it's accurate! Think dot-com. At Initech, we have come to know how to streamline strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Think intra-60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a strategy to become virtual? Think mega-resource-constrained. We will maximize the capacity of media sourcing to integrate. What does the term "open-source" really mean? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the industry jargon "interactive" really mean? Think nano-mega-proactive.