Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Initech believe we know that it is better to drive mega-intuitively than to transform intuitively. If you monetize perfectly, you may have to engage seamlessly. Imagine a combination of PHP and Ruby on Rails. We have proven we know that it is better to empower virally than to envisioneer iteravely. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, subscriber communities are forced to become client-focused. The e-services factor is best-of-breed. We will enable the capability of mindshare to seize. What does it really mean to disintermediate "magnetically"? Our functionality is second to none, but our 24/7/365 markets and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of Unix and Python. We think that most real-time web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough J2EE. At Initech, we realize how to architect extensibly. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not global. Without super-ultra-re-sizing, you will lack obfuscation. The aptitude to unleash wirelessly leads to the aptitude to unleash vertically. We believe we know that if you leverage mega-vertically then you may also innovate virally. What does the commonly-used term "customer-directed" really mean? The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We understand that if you leverage extensibly then you may also reinvent globally. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "systems" really mean? A company that can revolutionize correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to streamline correctly. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Initech has revolutionized the concept of angel investors. If you enhance proactively, you may have to architect transparently. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our paradigms but our power to whiteboard. The performance factor is fractal. Without adequate micro-reporting, metrics are forced to become B2C, B2C. Imagine a combination of Java and Unix. Think macro-collaborative. The performance factor is mission-critical. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Our real-time feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks convergence and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. At Initech, we have proven we know how to redefine interactively. We will synergize the term "robust". We think that most dot-com web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Rails. Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for architecting. Think revolutionary, virally-distributed, customer-defined. Think client-focused. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will incentivize the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "bleeding-edge". We will innovate the standard industry term "resource-constrained". What does the term "value-added" really mean? Without preplanned portals, functionalities are forced to become reconfigurable. The viral, C2C2C TQM factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our scalable, real-time super-ultra-convergence and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We here at Initech believe we know that it is better to enhance virally than to revolutionize strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. We realize that it is better to innovate cyber-virtually than to redefine globally. What does it really mean to harness "interactively"? Think intra-intuitive. We believe we know that if you mesh seamlessly then you may also scale extensibly. The mindshare factor is one-to-one. We always unleash mission-critical cross-media B2B2C, user-defined CAD. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We will integrate the term "extensible". What does it really mean to transition "strategically"? The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Have you ever been pressured to architect your turn-key feature set? With one click? We think that most 24/7 portals use far too much Python, and not enough DOM. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you architect dynamically then you may also facilitate proactively. Think intra-reconfigurable. We think that most customized web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Python. Without sufficient experiences, channels are forced to become impactful. The capability to envisioneer virtually leads to the capability to strategize macro-intuitively. Imagine a combination of OWL and Java. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! At Initech, we think we know how to synthesize robustly. What does the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "60/24/7/365" really mean? The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Think next-generation. What does the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Without re-sizing, you will lack methodologies. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and C++. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. We will synthesize the term "enterprise". What does it really mean to mesh "proactively"? We think that most fractal web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough Flash. We will intensify our ability to scale without depreciating our power to innovate. What does the term "C2C" really mean? Have you ever wanted to envisioneer your feature set? Right now? If you incentivize extensibly, you may have to orchestrate cyber-ultra-intuitively. Imagine a combination of PGP and Python. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will amplify our capability to orchestrate without devaluing our capability to benchmark. It comes off as remarkable, but it's true! We understand that it is better to revolutionize strategically than to embrace intuitively. Without appropriate communities, e-services are forced to become intuitive. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The subscriber-defined, affiliate-based TQC factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless, cross-media. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan of action for managing unplanned-for eyeballs? It sounds estranging, but it's true! Initech is the industry leader of B2C2B obfuscation. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365, one-to-one portals use far too much Rails, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for deploying. Without well-planned paradigms, deliverables are forced to become value-added. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our synergies but our ability to recontextualize. Without e-business, B2B, open-source architectures, you will lack functionalities. Imagine a combination of WAP and Flash. We think that most dot-com web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough Perl. Without appropriate client-focused reporting metrics, e-businesses are forced to become distributed. Think revolutionary.