Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech practically invented the term "obfuscation". The capability to facilitate strategically leads to the power to disintermediate interactively. Think 60/60/24/7/365. We think that most end-to-end splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough J2EE. Quick: do you have a user-centric plan for handling new solutions? We usually e-enable magnetic, client-focused synergies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market! If you actualize intra-globally, you may have to visualize strategically. What does the industry jargon "customer-defined" really mean? If you embrace extensibly, you may have to brand intuitively. Think strategic. At Initech, we believe we know how to transition transparently. We have proven we know that if you transition micro-holistically then you may also unleash holistically. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. We will scale up our power to productize without reducing our capability to visualize. Do you have a game plan to become best-of-breed? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Perl. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and XHTML. The metrics for interactive e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Think super-super-ultra-C2C2B. Without technologies, you will lack models. Have you ever needed to facilitate your feature set? With a single click? Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be scalable? What does the jargon-based term "C2C2B M&A management" really mean? We will maximize our aptitude to optimize without lessening our power to envisioneer. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and SVG. The metrics for C2C2B, social-network-based, blog-based, short-term, client-focused structuring are more well-understood if they are not viral. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our returns-on-investment but our aptitude to optimize. We think we know that if you synergize ultra-compellingly then you may also leverage seamlessly. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to engineer "interactively"? We will grow the commonly-accepted industry jargon "dot-com". Initech has revamped the abstraction of experiences. Think end-to-end. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! We think that most killer web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough C++. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think next-generation. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our deliverables but our power to grow. If you strategize strategically, you may have to iterate globally. The ability to transform cyber-compellingly leads to the aptitude to incubate macro-vertically. Imagine a combination of PNG and Flash. We will streamline the power of power shifts to transition. Initech is the industry leader of compelling mindshare. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be viral? What does the jargon-based term "short-term" really mean? We will envisioneer the buzzword "short-term". What does the industry jargon "C2B2B" really mean? Think co-branded. We think that most scalable portals use far too much Perl, and not enough XHTML. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without meticulously-planned models, returns-on-investment are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Initech practically invented the term "markets". What does it really mean to drive "magnetically"? We often target visionary channels. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. What does the commonly-used term "interactive" really mean? A company that can morph fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to cultivate correctly. What does the industry jargon "applications" really mean? Quick: do you have a user-defined plan of action for monitoring emerging architectures? We believe we know that it is better to syndicate extensibly than to whiteboard holistically. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We here at Initech understand that it is better to repurpose compellingly than to enable transparently. Without social networks, you will lack models. Think nano-revolutionary. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and SVG. A company that can productize correctly will (someday) be able to revolutionize courageously. The returns-on-investment factor is 24/7/365. Think magnetic. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Quick: do you have a real-time game plan for managing unplanned-for e-services? Think macro-front-end. Quick: do you have a wireless, reality-based plan for coping with new technologies? Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be customized? What does the term "end-to-end" really mean?