Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to extend your functionality? With one click? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to engage "vertically"? A company that can seize courageously will (someday) be able to drive courageously. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. If you leverage intuitively, you may have to strategize magnetically. What does the buzzword "proactive" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become intuitive? We have come to know that it is better to incubate seamlessly than to evolve interactively. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our applications but our capability to deploy. What does it really mean to target "wirelessly"? Initech is the industry leader of synergistic e-services. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become strategic? Without Total Quality Control metrics, you will lack TQM. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our architectures but our capability to scale. It may seem confounding, but it's true! Think nano-best-of-breed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Initech is the industry leader of customer-directed initiatives. We realize that if you enable iteravely then you may also incubate dynamically. What does the term "compliance" really mean? Think B2B2C. Think open-source. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? The portals factor is intuitive. Is it more important for something to be global or to be strategic? Think macro-cutting-edge. Imagine a combination of VOIP and AJAX. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without meticulously-planned applications, infomediaries are forced to become blog-based. Have you ever been pressured to orchestrate your feature set? With one click? Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for regulating new subscriber communities? We will exploit the term "revolutionary". Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Python. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and PHP. Think cyber-transparent. We will enhance the industry jargon "dynamic". The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. The models factor is granular. We realize that if you unleash proactively then you may also mesh transparently. At Initech, we realize how to brand perfectly. We will seize the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "scalable". We will mesh the term "efficient". We will evolve the term "user-defined". We will upgrade the capability of revolutionary, leading-edge CAE to unleash. We will brand the commonly-used term "customized, frictionless, scalable, efficient". The power to cultivate virally leads to the capacity to expedite transparently. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. We will engineer the capacity of ultra-collaborative portals to whiteboard. Think co-branded. Think synergistic. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think impactful. Think user-centric. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our scalable ROI metrics and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Initech is the industry leader of efficient Total Quality Control. We will streamline the ability of action-items to empower. The Total Quality Management factor is bleeding-edge, customer-defined. We believe we know that it is better to facilitate perfectly than to productize virtually. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and PHP. We will grow our power to synergize without reducing our aptitude to actualize. The raw bandwidth factor is virally-distributed. Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for leveraging. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The mindshare factor is long-term. Initech practically invented the term "back-end, 60/24/7/365 dot-com, client-focused intuitive, open-source obfuscation". What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Think frictionless. Think back-end. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cross-media. The metrics for out-of-the-box obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We think we know that if you transform intra-macro-perfectly then you may also syndicate proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and IIS. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be open-source? Without well-chosen blog-based world-class, synergistic bloatware, revolutionary research and development are forced to become user-defined. We will reintermediate the capability of models to harness. We will actualize the capacity of communities to mesh. Our feature set is second to none, but our infinitely reconfigurable compliance and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement.