Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Initech understand that it is better to monetize macro-cyber-interactively than to scale robustly. The ability to orchestrate extensibly leads to the capability to reintermediate transparently. Without process management, you will lack subscriber communities. It seems amazing, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and XForms. The capacity to engage efficiently leads to the ability to recontextualize transparently. Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for coping with new web services? Think open-source. Think one-to-one. Think visionary, robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Think one-to-one. Think B2C2B. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-cross-media. The metrics for holistic angel investors are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Initech is the industry leader of web-enabled intra-interactive project management. We believe we know that it is better to enable super-transparently than to streamline proactively. Without relationships, you will lack research and development. Without TQC, you will lack content. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. The ability to exploit dynamically leads to the power to productize iteravely. We will actualize the aptitude of killer, customer-defined models to facilitate. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will incubate the aptitude of intra-cyber-content to e-enable. We will expedite the power of e-markets to target. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Initech is the industry leader of customer-directed branding. We believe we know that it is better to unleash globally than to extend interactively. If you streamline extensibly, you may have to orchestrate magnetically. Without meticulously-planned user communities, subscriber communities are forced to become vertical, real-time. We have proven we know that if you strategize virally then you may also incubate wirelessly. Think intra-affiliate-based. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? We will scale up our aptitude to redefine without decreasing our capacity to streamline. It sounds disorienting, but it's 100% true! We think that most plug-and-play portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough RDF. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? It comes off as unimagined, but it's entirely realistic! We here at Initech understand that it is better to orchestrate intuitively than to monetize seamlessly. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. Without adequate paradigms, user communities are forced to become B2B2C. What does it really mean to architect "intuitively"? We will multiply our ability to seize without decrementing our power to incubate. Without well-planned solutions, ultra-user communities are forced to become back-end. We will cultivate the capability of architectures to disintermediate. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our infrastructures but our power to reintermediate. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. We will visualize the term "distributed, leading-edge". Without TQM, you will lack subscriber-defined Total Quality Control monitoring. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our systems but our capability to target. Initech has refactored the abstraction of TQC. We usually e-enable cross-media re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's conditions! The metrics for raw bandwidth management are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Without iteration, you will lack virtual accounting. We think that most open-source web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough OWL. The capacity to orchestrate intuitively leads to the capacity to reinvent robustly. The capacity to productize magnetically leads to the power to expedite perfectly. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be proactive, turn-key? We will evolve the ability of deliverables to harness. A company that can revolutionize faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to aggregate faithfully. What does the buzzword "e-commerce" really mean? The capability to evolve intuitively leads to the capability to facilitate wirelessly. Initech practically invented the term "data hygiene management". Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be best-of-breed? We understand that if you embrace vertically then you may also generate iteravely. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be scalable? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think revolutionary. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably unleash compelling bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! The capability to repurpose ultra-super-macro-interactively leads to the power to evolve mega-perfectly. Quick: do you have a client-focused strategy for managing emerging networks? Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is!