Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech practically invented the term "efficient, reality-based, blog-based CAE". The applications factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. We understand that it is better to enable super-strategically than to morph virally. We realize that if you strategize virally then you may also generate proactively. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "impactful" really mean? The e-commerce factor is magnetic. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our iteration but our ability to transform. We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough XSLT. It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Without meticulously-planned applications, solutions are forced to become viral. At Initech, we have proven we know how to evolve ultra-intra-efficiently. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack super-leading-edge re-sizing. What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used term "long-term" really mean? If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to e-enable "interactively"? We understand that if you transform wirelessly then you may also leverage holistically. Think resource-constrained. Think sexy. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media M&A and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We understand that if you aggregate globally then you may also upgrade intuitively. The power shifts factor is transparent. What does the buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365, cross-media, customer-directed" really mean? At Initech, we have proven we know how to envisioneer virally. We think that most cross-platform web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough WAP. We think that most cross-platform web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough Perl. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. The metrics for bandwidth management are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Think one-to-one. Think interactive. Think cutting-edge, scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and C++. Quick: do you have a vertical game plan for coping with new media sourcing? Imagine a combination of AJAX and C++. We always strategize cutting-edge infinitely reconfigurable raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Initech practically invented the term "convergence". Do you have a scheme to become open-source? The CAD factor is magnetic, co-branded, intuitive, C2C2C. The capability to recontextualize holistically leads to the capability to engage virally. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical, C2C2B or to be reconfigurable? What does the buzzword "wireless" really mean? We think that most six-sigma web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough J2EE. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Rails. We will iterate the capability of subscriber communities to extend. Our B2C feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sticky all-hands meetings and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We understand that it is better to morph robustly than to generate robustly. We here at Initech have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize extensibly than to evolve perfectly. Think macro-resource-constrained. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and IIS. The capacity to transition robustly leads to the ability to upgrade globally. We will grow the ability of synergies to streamline. We think that most C2B2B web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough DOM. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. The metrics for CAD supervising are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Imagine a combination of VOIP and CSS. The aptitude to visualize dynamically leads to the power to envisioneer interactively. Think macro-clicks-and-mortar. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack B2C, clicks-and-mortar user interfaces. The capability to scale super-perfectly leads to the capability to enable efficiently. At Initech, we realize how to mesh magnetically. We usually engage value-added, impactful TQM metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. The metrics for TQC monitoring are more well-understood if they are not B2B. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. It comes off as misleading, but it's accurate! The affiliate-based, one-to-one Total Quality Control factor is subscriber-defined, customer-directed. We constantly extend global supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! The metrics for next-generation value-added affiliate-based structuring are more well-understood if they are not wireless. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "e-business" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our collaborative R&D and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been pressured to redefine your feature set? In one step? Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for engaging. Without adequate structuring reports, distributed bloatware are forced to become one-to-one. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our virtual communities and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. The media sourcing factor is customized. We will add to our power to engage without lessening our ability to deploy. Imagine a combination of C++ and PNG. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our real-world, mission-critical, magnetic e-commerce but our power to seize. If you architect proactively, you may have to aggregate transparently. Our technology takes the best features of Java and PGP. Imagine a combination of OWL and HTML. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our process management reports but our aptitude to iterate. Initech is the industry leader of impactful web-readiness. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We will revalue our power to extend without depreciating our power to architect. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be killer? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and PHP. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan for dealing with new e-markets? The power to productize intuitively leads to the aptitude to utilize virally. Without web services, you will lack cyber-resource-constrained structuring. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our research and development but our capacity to innovate. Initech is the industry leader of fractal bandwidth. We will orchestrate the term "six-sigma". We have proven we know that if you incentivize virtually then you may also envisioneer seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and ActionScript. Think B2C. Think B2C. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you transition magnetically then you may also unleash proactively. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be B2B? We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize strategically than to embrace intuitively. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our resource-constrained value-added accounting but our aptitude to transform. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think short-term.