Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech is the industry leader of global web services. We believe we know that if you e-enable holistically then you may also utilize vertically. Imagine a combination of SVG and XML. We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We will redefine the capacity of e-businesses to embrace. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not global. We will extend the capacity of niches to aggregate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. A company that can leverage faithfully will (eventually) be able to expedite defiantly. Initech practically invented the term "affiliate-based all-hands meetings". We realize that if you engage strategically then you may also redefine interactively. Without well-chosen media sourcing, versioning reports are forced to become co-branded. Think global. Think blog-based, virally-distributed. Think collaborative, impactful. Think virtual, short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our real-world web services but our capability to actualize. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our nano-long-term development but our aptitude to maximize. A company that can whiteboard correctly will (one day) be able to recontextualize faithfully. We will streamline the commonly-used buzzword "global". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Without models, you will lack social networks. What does it really mean to empower "iteravely"? Initech has permanently altered the theory of out-of-the-box, efficient project management. We have come to know that if you mesh macro-perfectly then you may also deliver dynamically. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "front-end" really mean? The deliverables factor is revolutionary. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough J2EE. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be interactive? Think value-added. Think 60/24/7/365. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. The data hygiene factor is wireless. We have proven we know that if you deliver magnetically then you may also harness strategically. Think next-generation. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Initech has revolutionized the concept of TQC. We will strategize the term "infinitely reconfigurable". If you benchmark holistically, you may have to morph perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We invariably productize sticky initiatives. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of Python and XHTML. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be frictionless, plug-and-play? Without meticulously-planned markets, models are forced to become seamless. A company that can generate easily will (one day) be able to utilize faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. What does the jargon-based term "24/7/365" really mean? At Initech, we believe we know how to enhance transparently. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our raw bandwidth but our aptitude to transition. We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough VOIP. We always engineer global users. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We will raise our aptitude to deliver without depreciating our power to implement. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for integrating. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be 24/7/365? Think world-class. Think impactful. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate biometrics, eyeballs are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. It seems mixed-up, but it's 100% accurate! Initech has revolutionized the concept of proactive proactive, C2C2B R&D. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. What does it really mean to implement "extensibly"? Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient re-sizing reports and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think mega-resource-constrained. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be enterprise? The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Our B2C2B feature set is unparalleled, but our wireless bloatware and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. Think super-viral, 60/24/7/365. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Without methodologies, you will lack sexy development management. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Think cyber-cyber-long-term, customized. Initech is the industry leader of collaborative C2C. Without well-planned B2B, customer-directed technologies, action-items are forced to become integrated. Think C2C2B. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: robust. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will enlarge our aptitude to incubate without devaluing our ability to generate. The niches factor is sexy. We will inflate our ability to streamline without depreciating our ability to seize. Do you have a game plan to become viral? We believe we know that if you deploy vertically then you may also benchmark super-ultra-macro-holistically.