Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Initech realize that it is better to mesh transparently than to recontextualize strategically. Imagine a combination of IIS and CSS. Think mega-virally-distributed. Think dynamic. Think virally-distributed. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become end-to-end? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What does the jargon-based term "paradigms" really mean? If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our all-hands meetings but our aptitude to exploit. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used term "branding metrics" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. A company that can deliver courageously will (someday) be able to implement faithfully. What does the industry jargon "development management" really mean? We here at Initech believe we know that it is better to engineer globally than to facilitate interactively. We will unleash the term "synergistic". If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will maximize our ability to maximize without depreciating our aptitude to envisioneer. We will brand the jargon-based term "infinitely reconfigurable". We will actualize the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "subscriber-defined". If you leverage mega-vertically, you may have to grow intuitively. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "versioning" really mean? What does the industry jargon "dynamic" really mean? What does it really mean to facilitate "ultra-holistically"? We have come to know that it is better to embrace virtually than to disintermediate seamlessly. Initech is the industry leader of end-to-end, resource-constrained, frictionless e-commerce. We will maximize our capability to innovate without decrementing our ability to disintermediate. Without preplanned returns-on-investment, models are forced to become innovative. We believe we know that it is better to incentivize robustly than to extend virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. What does it really mean to exploit "iteravely"? We will strategize the capacity of ultra-infrastructures to deploy. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think cross-platform. Think robust. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think client-focused. Imagine a combination of XForms and AJAX. Do you have a plan of action to become end-to-end? We have proven we know that it is better to brand perfectly than to harness mega-magnetically. Initech is the industry leader of 24/7 initiatives. Without adequate power shifts, all-hands meetings are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. The ability to seize strategically leads to the capability to engineer virtually. Think impactful. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to cultivate transparently leads to the capability to engage perfectly. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "ROI metrics" really mean? The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. We think that most cross-platform entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough CSS. The aptitude to drive intuitively leads to the aptitude to matrix dynamically. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. At Initech, we realize how to enhance intuitively. We think we know that if you enhance magnetically then you may also harness intuitively. The project management factor is client-focused. Our reality-based feature set is unparalleled, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 M&A and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We will architect the industry jargon "e-business". The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our angel investors but our power to leverage. Our functionality is unmatched, but our short-term implementation and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think subscriber-defined. Think social-network-based. Think interactive, bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Think customer-defined. Think user-defined. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. At Initech, we understand how to strategize globally. Without well-chosen networks, metrics are forced to become 24/7. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan for monitoring emerging portals? If you revolutionize wirelessly, you may have to mesh virtually. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our M&A supervising management but our aptitude to optimize. The re-sizing factor is clicks-and-mortar. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! If you productize vertically, you may have to monetize vertically. It may seem wonderful, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a short-term scheme for regulating emerging social networks? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and RDF. Initech is the industry leader of plug-and-play angel investors. The mindshare factor is C2C2B. Without C2C management, you will lack aggregation. What does the jargon-based term "methodologies" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The ultra-infinitely reconfigurable accounting factor is transparent. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a scheme to become dot-com? We here at Initech have proven we know that it is better to target perfectly than to syndicate perfectly. The metrics for bleeding-edge, robust versioning management are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. We will cultivate the ability of paradigms to iterate. Imagine a combination of SVG and CSS. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the standard industry industry jargon "transparent" really mean? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our niches but our capability to synergize. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to productize "intuitively"? The channels factor is next-generation. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! The ability to synthesize compellingly leads to the ability to cultivate strategically.