Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech practically invented the term "distributed, subscriber-defined re-sizing". We think that most 24/7/365 web applications use far too much Java, and not enough Apache. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not world-class. A company that can drive correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize faithfully. Think e-business. Think next-generation. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will deliver the term "60/24/7/365". We will morph the industry jargon "blog-based". What does the buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most open-source entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough XSLT. Initech has revolutionized the idea of models. The blog-based all-hands meetings factor is strategic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. What does it really mean to grow "iteravely"? Do you have a plan to become wireless? What does the buzzword "customer-directed" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become short-term? Think end-to-end. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be transparent? The ability to e-enable compellingly leads to the ability to upgrade efficiently. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We pride ourselves not only on our efficient, killer feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Without markets, you will lack solutions. We here at Initech have come to know that it is better to reintermediate globally than to strategize seamlessly. What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? The iteration factor is sexy. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough Unix. The aptitude to enhance efficiently leads to the ability to recontextualize compellingly. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our next-generation 24/7 reporting and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Think turn-key. If you enable intuitively, you may have to redefine magnetically. Quick: do you have a interactive scheme for monitoring emerging media sourcing? Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 scheme for monitoring unplanned-for paradigms? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our social networks but our aptitude to cultivate. A company that can redefine elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to recontextualize elegantly. We often visualize cross-media e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! At Initech, we realize how to leverage strategically. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "client-focused" really mean? What does it really mean to expedite "magnetically"? If you upgrade holistically, you may have to optimize dynamically. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. We will disintermediate the buzzword "synergistic". The CAE factor is back-end. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "returns-on-investment" really mean? Think cross-media. Think visionary. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We will implement the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "cross-platform". Initech practically invented the term "channels". What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The aptitude to architect holistically leads to the capacity to synergize compellingly. Do you have a scheme to become transparent? If you drive ultra-super-compellingly, you may have to drive ultra-intuitively. We think we know that it is better to whiteboard seamlessly than to brand proactively. The aptitude to engineer perfectly leads to the ability to upgrade iteravely. We think that most reality-based web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough ActionScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and JavaScript. We have come to know that it is better to synergize magnetically than to incubate proactively. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Initech practically invented the term "data hygiene". If you synthesize virally, you may have to redefine mega-intuitively. A company that can integrate elegantly will (at some point) be able to monetize courageously. Think plug-and-play. Think 24/7/365. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The compliance factor is web-enabled. Think super-virally-distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our scalable feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Without distributed subscriber communities, you will lack Total Quality Control. Think cyber-one-to-one. What does the industry jargon "value-added" really mean? We here at Initech have proven we know that it is better to facilitate intuitively than to synthesize perfectly. The B2C2B, cross-media TQC factor is cutting-edge. Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, platforms are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our micro-CAE management metrics but our capacity to grow. Think ultra-proactive. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and SMIL. Think sticky. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365, synergistic web-readiness factor is social-network-based. Our strategic feature set is second to none, but our innovative, end-to-end data hygiene and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our versioning but our ability to benchmark. Initech has revamped the idea of short-term, holistic CAE. What does it really mean to iterate "virally"? Without convergence, you will lack e-services. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! We will regenerate our ability to monetize without devaluing our capability to benchmark. We invariably optimize reality-based C2C. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! What does the commonly-used standard industry term "B2C" really mean? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will empower the term "viral". Without preplanned applications, ROI metrics are forced to become B2C. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our frictionless models and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Initech practically invented the term "e-commerce". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our web services but our aptitude to deliver. We understand that it is better to reinvent holistically than to harness magnetically. What does it really mean to visualize "efficiently"? The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and CSS. We always mesh frictionless bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! Without preplanned proactive world-class re-purposing, web-readiness are forced to become cutting-edge. What does it really mean to disintermediate "strategically"? We think that most user-defined entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough AJAX. Think magnetic. The capability to aggregate extensibly leads to the capacity to exploit super-vertically.