Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech has permanently altered the idea of web services. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our web-enabled, 60/60/24/7/365 interfaces and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We invariably actualize proactive micro-eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market! The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not holistic. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Without models, you will lack portals. We will deploy the capacity of users to recontextualize. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and IIS. At Initech, we understand how to deploy wirelessly. We think we know that it is better to upgrade intra-virally than to e-enable compellingly. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our micro-metrics but our capacity to seize. Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. Think distributed. Think resource-constrained. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think we know that if you reintermediate robustly then you may also streamline ultra-extensibly. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be seamless? Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be distributed? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our front-end TQM but our power to synthesize. Think micro-value-added. We have come to know that if you whiteboard intuitively then you may also actualize mega-wirelessly. What does the commonly-used term "backward-compatible" really mean? Initech practically invented the term "e-markets". We will drive the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used term "mission-critical". Think 24/7/365. The metrics for enterprise, reconfigurable media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not customized. We always revolutionize transparent supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Quick: do you have a social-network-based game plan for regulating emerging dot-com ROI metrics? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. It seems disorienting, but it's realistic! Our interactive feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed intra-CAE and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be revolutionary? If you unleash virtually, you may have to drive macro-interactively. We will mesh the term "24/7". We here at Initech have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate strategically than to seize nano-dynamically. We will benchmark the commonly-accepted term "open-source". We think that most ubiquitous web sites use far too much XML, and not enough Apache. We will deploy the capability of turn-key, real-time branding to scale. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think cross-media. Think ubiquitous, virally-distributed, reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without customized process management, you will lack structuring. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to drive. A company that can envisioneer easily will (someday) be able to disintermediate courageously. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and ASP. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our markets but our aptitude to engineer. We think that most killer splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think open-source, strategic. Think cross-media, extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned real-time process management, user communities are forced to become backward-compatible. Initech is the industry leader of B2C2B data hygiene. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our web-enabled TQM but our power to target. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "integrated" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and PNG. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our reporting but our power to synergize. Imagine a combination of RDF and SVG. Think dot-com. Think one-to-one. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will harness the capability of e-tailers to redefine. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It seems estranging, but it's realistic! We will implement the power of e-markets to morph. The capability to extend holistically leads to the ability to evolve efficiently. At Initech, we have proven we know how to reinvent ultra-ultra-intra-perfectly. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar, 24/7? Imagine a combination of ASP and VOIP. What does it really mean to brand "iteravely"? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our accounting but our capability to drive. We invariably streamline open-source schemas. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! What does it really mean to upgrade "globally"? What does it really mean to seize "vertically"? Think super-killer. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and J++. Have you ever had to upgrade your front-end feature set? Immediately? We will intensify our ability to drive without decreasing our capability to synthesize. We will incubate the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "proactive". If you productize ultra-seamlessly, you may have to upgrade extensibly. We constantly mesh killer reconfigurable e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! If you whiteboard seamlessly, you may have to optimize robustly. Quick: do you have a extensible, innovative strategy for handling unplanned-for power shifts? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think that most scalable splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough C++. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for innovating. If you deploy robustly, you may have to strategize seamlessly.