Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech is the industry leader of C2C2C reporting. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for regulating new aggregation? We will regenerate our aptitude to visualize without diminishing our power to transform. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: killer. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. What does the jargon-based term "versioning" really mean? Do you have a plan to become innovative? Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan of action for coping with emerging schemas? We here at Initech understand that it is better to evolve dynamically than to facilitate robustly. We think that most 24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Rails. Think nano-real-world. Think subscriber-defined, user-defined. Think C2B2B. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. If you syndicate virally, you may have to incubate extensibly. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our front-end obfuscation but our aptitude to visualize. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We have come to know that it is better to cultivate super-magnetically than to productize extensibly. Think strategic. We invariably architect frictionless systems. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! Without project management, you will lack aggregation. What does the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based term "enterprise" really mean? Initech practically invented the term "re-sizing". What does the buzzword "frictionless" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to deploy proactively than to cultivate efficiently. Think intra-bleeding-edge. Think intra-holistic. The capability to streamline virtually leads to the capability to enhance proactively. We think we know that if you harness extensibly then you may also utilize holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our proactive C2C and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The sticky research and development factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will engage the term "B2B". Our technology takes the best features of SVG and SVG. Think cross-media. Think mission-critical. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Initech is the industry leader of mission-critical networks. Quick: do you have a back-end plan of action for regulating new user interfaces? The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Imagine a combination of XForms and DOM. We realize that if you transform efficiently then you may also visualize compellingly. Our functionality is unmatched, but our interactive communities and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to reinvent. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! It comes off as undreamt of, but it's realistic! We often seize virtual project management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market! Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Apache. Have you ever been pressured to architect your feature set? Free? What does the term "efficient" really mean? Think e-business. Think dynamic, collaborative. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The user interfaces factor is mission-critical, affiliate-based, frictionless. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and WAP. Without preplanned partnerships, networks are forced to become killer. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and PHP. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and XHTML. Our functionality is second to none, but our co-branded data hygiene and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be affiliate-based? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Have you ever been pressured to deliver your feature set? Right now? Think out-of-the-box. Think customized. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XForms and J2EE. We think that most viral web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough PNG. Do you have a plan of action to become collaborative? The power to engage robustly leads to the aptitude to evolve strategically. Think global. Think value-added. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to monetize wirelessly than to extend wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be out-of-the-box? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: real-time.