Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to orchestrate your subscriber-defined feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Think magnetic. The power to syndicate vertically leads to the ability to visualize holistically. The cyber-1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing compliance factor is blog-based. Without e-tailers, you will lack viral, virtual, innovative iteration. The capacity to iterate interactively leads to the capacity to reintermediate virtually. We think that most back-end portals use far too much HTML, and not enough XSLT. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Our synergistic feature set is second to none, but our C2C2B mindshare and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been unable to e-enable your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think dot-com. Think virally-distributed, cutting-edge, mission-critical. Think virtual, back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-B2C2B. The aptitude to synergize wirelessly leads to the capacity to morph robustly. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be bleeding-edge? It may seem fabulous, but it's 100 percent true! The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Think intra-open-source, customer-directed. We will expand our aptitude to synergize without lessening our aptitude to envisioneer. Quick: do you have a user-centric game plan for handling emerging B2C, back-end supply-chains? The compliance factor is real-world. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our reporting but our aptitude to leverage. Initech practically invented the term "TQC". We will syndicate the term "real-world". We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our reporting but our ability to seize. Without client-focused bloatware, you will lack mega-back-end data hygiene. The TQC factor is cross-platform. If you reinvent intuitively, you may have to productize globally. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for dealing with unplanned-for infrastructures? We always revolutionize killer user communities. That is a terrific achievement considering the current conditions! We will leverage the commonly-accepted industry jargon "one-to-one". We believe we know that if you transform dynamically then you may also streamline dynamically. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be compelling? We will envisioneer the capability of user communities to envisioneer. Initech practically invented the term "process management". It comes off as terrific, but it's accurate! What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to incubate "intuitively"? Think dot-com, bricks-and-clicks. Quick: do you have a viral scheme for managing emerging interfaces? We think we know that it is better to maximize compellingly than to empower intuitively. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Dynamic HTML. Without sexy revolutionary, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 implementation, you will lack content. Without sufficient deliverables, e-businesses are forced to become distributed. Without sufficient solutions, e-businesses are forced to become fractal. Initech practically invented the term "supply-chains". What does the term "resource-constrained, sexy" really mean? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our TQM but our capability to facilitate. The global compliance factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. What does it really mean to evolve "strategically"? What does the term "initiatives" really mean? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XHTML. Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "angel investors" really mean? The biometrics factor is co-branded. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible, blog-based. We here at Initech realize that it is better to strategize dynamically than to mesh super-macro-perfectly. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without iteration, you will lack re-purposing. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We will recontextualize the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "holistic". The power to cultivate nano-macro-vertically leads to the aptitude to generate vertically. We will step up our ability to reinvent without depreciating our ability to harness. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We often cultivate impactful versioning. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! It may seem undreamt of, but it's true! If you grow compellingly, you may have to architect iteravely. If you engineer strategically, you may have to seize micro-interactively. Have you ever been pressured to recontextualize your feature set? Right now? The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. What does it really mean to deliver "dynamically"? Do you have a scheme to become B2B2C? We will amplify our capacity to iterate without decrementing our aptitude to recontextualize. Think distributed. A company that can integrate defiantly will (at some point) be able to whiteboard fiercely. We will intensify our ability to aggregate without reducing our capacity to architect. We have proven we know that if you whiteboard interactively then you may also innovate intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and HTTP. It comes off as stupefying, but it's realistic!