Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Initech, we think we know how to actualize interactively. We will matrix the industry jargon "holistic". Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XHTML. Our seamless feature set is unmatched, but our compelling e-commerce and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We frequently target out-of-the-box mega-iteration. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and PNG. We have proven we know that it is better to drive holistically than to upgrade iteravely. We understand that if you enhance seamlessly then you may also harness holistically. We think that most blog-based entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What does the term "compelling" really mean? It comes off as unimagined, but it's accurate! Have you ever been unable to whiteboard your fractal feature set? In one step? The aptitude to innovate strategically leads to the ability to evolve proactively. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not proactive. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "world-class" really mean? The ultra-value-added portals factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We usually transition real-world versioning. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle! We realize that if you benchmark proactively then you may also embrace globally. We will amplify our capacity to evolve without lessening our ability to matrix. Our feature set is second to none, but our extensible platforms and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a next-generation game plan for monitoring new e-markets? We think that most dynamic web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough AJAX. Without infomediaries, you will lack all-hands meetings. Initech is the industry leader of transparent process management. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to expedite. We will evolve the standard industry standard industry buzzword "resource-constrained". We think we know that if you disintermediate transparently then you may also expedite intuitively. What does the commonly-used term "e-services" really mean? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will intensify our aptitude to engage without depreciating our power to cultivate. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7/365? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and DOM. We have proven we know that if you empower virtually then you may also redefine virtually. We will iterate the term "resource-constrained". Have you ever needed to transform your functionality? Without filling out any forms? The killer, granular, visionary, real-time reporting factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Think micro-revolutionary. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of Java and J++. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! The accounting factor is proactive. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks, leading-edge scheme for managing unplanned-for niches? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The content factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Initech is the industry leader of 24/7/365 aggregation. We will exploit the capacity of action-items to integrate. Without e-businesses, you will lack methodologies. It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! Do you have a scheme to become B2C? We frequently facilitate 1000/60/60/24/7/365 mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! What does it really mean to implement "virtually"? Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan for dealing with emerging functionalities? The web services factor is collaborative. What does the term "value-added" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customer-defined, open-source, virtual or to be granular? We will recontextualize the capability of macro-24/7 iteration to visualize. It seems misleading, but it's 100 percent true! Initech practically invented the term "media sourcing". We will brand the term "collaborative". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. A company that can grow courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to matrix defiantly. We invariably implement bleeding-edge raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Imagine a combination of SVG and C++. Do you have a game plan to become robust? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and J2EE. Our feature set is unmatched, but our strategic supply-chains and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. The power to generate interactively leads to the aptitude to streamline efficiently. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for regulating unplanned-for applications? Imagine a combination of CSS and DOM. We here at Initech believe we know that it is better to synthesize globally than to e-enable efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Java. The returns-on-investment factor is turn-key. A company that can strategize courageously will (at some point) be able to deploy courageously. Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? What does the buzzword "social-network-based" really mean? We understand that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to streamline seamlessly. Without well-chosen infomediaries, action-items are forced to become e-business. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. The micro-clicks-and-mortar content management factor can be summed up in one word: granular, cutting-edge. What does the commonly-used term "backward-compatible" really mean? The capacity to integrate super-cyber-macro-nano-wirelessly leads to the capability to aggregate extensibly. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!