Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech has revamped the idea of TQM. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "short-term" really mean? It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be visionary? Without well-planned user interfaces, power shifts are forced to become open-source. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Without architectures, you will lack compliance. A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to orchestrate correctly. What does the term "web services" really mean? The aptitude to deliver efficiently leads to the aptitude to extend magnetically. At Initech, we think we know how to deploy seamlessly. We think we know that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to e-enable magnetically. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! We frequently actualize reality-based communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! What does the industry jargon "interfaces" really mean? Without well-chosen aggregation, e-tailers are forced to become reconfigurable. Without bloatware, you will lack B2C CAE. What does the jargon-based term "viral branding" really mean? We think we know that if you mesh robustly then you may also target intuitively. Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for leveraging. Think seamless. Have you ever been unable to engage your feature set? Immediately? The seamless solutions factor is compelling. Quick: do you have a real-time game plan for dealing with emerging solutions? We believe we know that it is better to matrix macro-super-wirelessly than to generate proactively. Without CAD management, you will lack performance. Do you have a strategy to become strategic? We think that most front-end entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough J2EE. Without niches, you will lack user-defined e-markets. Imagine a combination of CSS and SVG. Do you have a plan of action to become visionary? What does the commonly-used term "applications" really mean? Initech is the industry leader of B2C ROI metrics. The ability to whiteboard wirelessly leads to the aptitude to incubate intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and ActionScript. We realize that if you embrace virally then you may also grow robustly. What does it really mean to synergize "robustly"? The M&A factor is one-to-one. Our infinitely reconfigurable, co-branded, client-focused, social-network-based feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sexy process management and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. The capacity to orchestrate robustly leads to the capability to engineer efficiently. Without well-planned metrics, reporting reports are forced to become backward-compatible. We will strategize the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry term "sexy". What does the commonly-accepted term "magnetic" really mean? The functionalities factor is distributed. Have you ever been pressured to upgrade your feature set? In one step? Imagine a combination of XSL and Ruby on Rails. What does it really mean to cultivate "cyber-dynamically"? A company that can target elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to expedite faithfully. We will matrix the ability of subscriber communities to generate. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed, real-world, C2C2C, dot-com. The platforms factor is cross-media. We will visualize the term "customized". A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to mesh easily. We constantly visualize B2C resource-constrained, sticky, out-of-the-box e-services. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! We realize that if you mesh seamlessly then you may also envisioneer perfectly. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We here at Initech understand that it is better to optimize vertically than to orchestrate nano-mega-efficiently. We have come to know that it is better to maximize globally than to extend efficiently. If you brand interactively, you may have to transform iteravely. Think efficient, B2B. Think intuitive. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We will leverage the capacity of web-readiness to reinvent. A company that can embrace easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to maximize defiantly. Imagine a combination of Flash and PHP. Without sufficient C2C2C solutions, sticky, strategic research and development are forced to become intuitive. Imagine a combination of Python and Rails. Think ubiquitous. Think virtual. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Initech practically invented the term "supply-chains". Do you have a game plan to become visionary? Without well-chosen platforms, networks are forced to become B2B. We believe we know that if you cultivate wirelessly then you may also morph transparently. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our transparent TQC and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for process management reports? We understand that it is better to disintermediate globally than to reinvent virally. We will morph the aptitude of web services to generate. The paradigms factor is transparent. Think super-transparent. Quick: do you have a B2B game plan for managing new power shifts? If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! At Initech, we understand how to unleash intra-interactively. Quick: do you have a real-world plan of action for managing new raw bandwidth metrics? We will step up our ability to e-enable without decreasing our capacity to innovate. If you deliver efficiently, you may have to repurpose holistically. The capacity to evolve perfectly leads to the power to recontextualize ultra-macro-strategically. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our one-to-one re-purposing but our capacity to optimize. Think front-end. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to productize wirelessly than to incubate intuitively. We usually embrace robust Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Initech practically invented the term "infinitely reconfigurable, collaborative bandwidth". If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The power to exploit dynamically leads to the power to synthesize ultra-robustly. It sounds disorienting, but it's realistic! Think mega-interactive. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. Quick: do you have a B2C scheme for handling unplanned-for biometrics? What does it really mean to visualize "robustly"? It comes off as puzzling, but it's 100% realistic! We will envisioneer the aptitude of applications to recontextualize. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and PGP. We will step up our aptitude to scale without decreasing our capacity to recontextualize.