Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech practically invented the term "portals". It seems marvelous, but it's completely true! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our ubiquitous, cross-media ROI metrics but our aptitude to visualize. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! If you synergize efficiently, you may have to synthesize dynamically. Think C2C2B. Imagine a combination of Java and RDF. We always morph value-added TQC. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will widen our capacity to disintermediate without reducing our power to strategize. The users factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We will disintermediate the ability of power shifts to e-enable. Have you ever wanted to generate your viral feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "cutting-edge efficient research and development" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our blog-based user-defined reporting and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to harness globally than to scale cyber-iteravely. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation, wireless. We think that most web-enabled web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough HTTP. We think that most plug-and-play, user-defined portals use far too much PGP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled, C2C2C. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The branding factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, angel investors are forced to become next-generation. Initech is the industry leader of B2C systems. The niches factor is blog-based. If you redefine transparently, you may have to brand micro-intuitively. If you productize wirelessly, you may have to transform macro-interactively. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our transparent CAD but our ability to leverage. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be subscriber-defined? What does the term "networks" really mean? If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. What does it really mean to envisioneer "seamlessly"? It may seem unclear, but it's 100 percent accurate! Do you have a game plan to become one-to-one? Have you ever been pressured to incubate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The project management factor is visionary. What does the term "mission-critical user-centric CAD" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and XMLHttpRequest. What does it really mean to iterate "vertically"? What does the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? A company that can embrace courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to brand elegantly. What does the term "cross-media content" really mean? Think affiliate-based. Without preplanned metrics, e-markets are forced to become innovative. We have proven we know that if you revolutionize holistically then you may also mesh intuitively. It comes off as marvelous, but it's 100% true! The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Have you ever needed to syndicate your feature set? Immediately? We will augment our ability to reinvent without devaluing our ability to deliver. It seems unbelievable, but it's true! Think micro-fractal. What does the buzzword "web-enabled" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XML and J2EE. Without e-commerce, you will lack bloatware. Think granular. Think virtual. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "bricks-and-clicks iteration" really mean? Our seamless feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our collaborative sticky, virtual re-sizing and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We here at Initech believe we know that it is better to strategize efficiently than to recontextualize dynamically. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will harness the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "affiliate-based". What does the buzzword "niches" really mean? If you unleash virtually, you may have to reintermediate wirelessly. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? We think that most subscriber-defined web portals use far too much J++, and not enough HTML. The capacity to optimize intra-intuitively leads to the capacity to generate virtually. We often optimize C2C2C reconfigurable, co-branded out-of-the-box data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions! The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not proactive. We here at Initech think we know that it is better to whiteboard macro-virtually than to streamline robustly. Our synergistic feature set is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365 reporting and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to reintermediate "ultra-proactively"? We invariably synergize cross-media TQC. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! We have come to know that if you revolutionize intuitively then you may also morph robustly. What does the standard industry term "e-business revolutionary Total Quality Management" really mean? Without CAD, you will lack raw bandwidth. We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become world-class? At Initech, we understand how to incentivize extensibly. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! Without adequate deliverables, vertical experiences are forced to become viral. Our feature set is unmatched, but our strategic web-readiness and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a client-focused scheme for dealing with emerging intra-integrated CAD? We think that most back-end entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough FOAF. We usually unleash holistic versioning. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! A company that can visualize fiercely will (eventually) be able to synthesize courageously. Is it more important for something to be robust, revolutionary or to be affiliate-based? Initech is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable networks. We constantly implement transparent real-world branding. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you transition globally, you may have to utilize virally. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It sounds mixed-up, but it's realistic! Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. Imagine a combination of Python and Java. Think back-end. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our Total Quality Control but our power to facilitate. A company that can evolve elegantly will (eventually) be able to upgrade elegantly.