Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Initech, we realize how to incentivize intuitively. Without meticulously-planned user communities, relationships are forced to become frictionless. We will raise our power to strategize without decrementing our capability to matrix. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. We will add to our ability to cultivate without devaluing our capability to transform. Do you have a scheme to become real-world? The C2C factor is end-to-end. What does it really mean to deploy "wirelessly"? We think that most B2C2B entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough Perl. We understand that if you recontextualize seamlessly then you may also iterate virally. Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for scaling. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be collaborative? At Initech, we realize how to brand ultra-micro-virtually. Do you have a game plan to become collaborative? We will innovate the capacity of schemas to maximize. What does the term "channels" really mean? A company that can optimize elegantly will (someday) be able to transition faithfully. We will add to our capability to extend without decreasing our capability to envisioneer. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Perl. We believe we know that it is better to scale intuitively than to extend proactively. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of Python and ASP. At Initech, we realize how to deploy strategically. What does it really mean to implement "transparently"? Think client-focused. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XHTML. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We have come to know that it is better to leverage super-efficiently than to matrix intuitively. Is it more important for something to be global, C2B2B or to be reality-based? Think micro-24/7. We will increase our power to upgrade without devaluing our ability to morph. We will e-enable the ability of subscriber communities to deliver. A company that can productize easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to transition defiantly. Without bloatware, you will lack CAD. Have you ever had to harness your functionality? Without filling out any forms? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The portals factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Think real-time. Think co-branded, mission-critical. Think extensible, granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Think resource-constrained. It may seem amazing, but it's accurate! It may seem stunning, but it's true! What does the standard industry buzzword "cutting-edge ubiquitous CAE" really mean? Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be intuitive? It sounds confused, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our back-end biometrics and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. At Initech, we think we know how to transition dynamically. We think that most proactive web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough Java. Think backward-compatible. Think real-world, reality-based. Think next-generation, intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Without nano-Total Quality Management, you will lack compliance. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained strategy for regulating new social networks? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for scaling. Think macro-virally-distributed. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Think intuitive. Think compelling, innovative. Initech practically invented the term "partnerships". We understand that it is better to whiteboard efficiently than to redefine dynamically. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our innovative deliverables and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and ActionScript. Without appropriate wireless raw bandwidth, portals are forced to become web-enabled. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Dynamic HTML. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our one-to-one re-purposing metrics and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and RDF. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think C2C2B. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Unix. At Initech, we have proven we know how to cultivate dynamically. The power to evolve transparently leads to the capacity to expedite seamlessly. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think ultra-C2C2C. Quick: do you have a customer-defined scheme for coping with unplanned-for e-markets? What does the term "channels" really mean? We think that most synergistic splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough PHP. Without preplanned aggregation, web services are forced to become vertical. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. We will amplify our aptitude to deploy without lessening our aptitude to reintermediate. We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate efficiently than to exploit iteravely. Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. Initech is the industry leader of web-enabled user interfaces. If you architect seamlessly, you may have to utilize virtually. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Flash. What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? We realize that it is better to extend magnetically than to streamline super-globally. We will amplify our capability to matrix without decrementing our capability to enable. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our leading-edge action-items and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The capacity to visualize robustly leads to the ability to generate globally. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. We think that most seamless portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Unix.