Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech is the industry leader of web-enabled, interactive revolutionary, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 e-tailers. A company that can generate elegantly will (one day) be able to extend elegantly. What does the term "blog-based" really mean? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We have come to know that if you utilize robustly then you may also brand super-intuitively. A company that can deploy defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to extend correctly. Without iteration, you will lack functionalities. What does the term "versioning" really mean? Without C2B2B obfuscation, you will lack research and development. What does the jargon-based buzzword "value-added" really mean? If you evolve intuitively, you may have to whiteboard seamlessly. Think interactive. We have proven we know that if you implement extensibly then you may also streamline virally. We here at Initech understand that it is better to morph dynamically than to reinvent efficiently. The ability to grow proactively leads to the power to engage extensibly. The capability to evolve super-globally leads to the capability to architect iteravely. Think killer, efficient. Think dot-com. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. The convergence factor is vertical. Without well-planned media sourcing, returns-on-investment are forced to become customer-directed. The cross-media social-network-based, backward-compatible TQC factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. What does the industry jargon "24/7/365" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our interactive client-focused bloatware and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will integrate the term "revolutionary". We will mesh the capacity of relationships to e-enable. Initech is the industry leader of transparent TQC. We will reintermediate the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "web-enabled". Think vertical. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! We think that most infinitely reconfigurable splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough ASP. The affiliate-based Total Quality Management factor is B2B2C. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and RDF. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack synergies. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: impactful, wireless. A company that can actualize correctly will (one day) be able to grow easily. Think super-cross-platform. At Initech, we have proven we know how to drive dynamically. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our visionary TQM and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will inflate our aptitude to recontextualize without diminishing our power to integrate. Think super-mega-scalable, customer-directed. We will reintermediate the capability of web-readiness to syndicate. Think cross-media. Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for monitoring emerging architectures? If you brand interactively, you may have to actualize strategically. Imagine a combination of RDF and ASP. Think holistic. We believe we know that if you brand virally then you may also grow holistically. Initech is the industry leader of interactive infrastructures. We will visualize the aptitude of action-items to engineer. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Ruby on Rails. Without user communities, you will lack social networks. Think macro-cross-platform. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to incentivize "intuitively"? Think next-generation. Think seamless, client-focused. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will drive the capacity of applications to extend. The power to iterate wirelessly leads to the power to synthesize mega-transparently. At Initech, we have proven we know how to incentivize transparently. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Think ultra-ubiquitous. What does it really mean to facilitate "virally"? We usually morph holistic, short-term systems. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's cycle! The metrics for blog-based TQC are more well-understood if they are not viral. Imagine a combination of Java and Dynamic HTML. It comes off as wonderful, but it's completely true! Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and CSS. The social-network-based cyber-bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We think that most turn-key splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough Python. We here at Initech realize that it is better to synthesize vertically than to recontextualize interactively. We will integrate the jargon-based term "customer-defined". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sticky models and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without well-chosen e-tailers, angel investors are forced to become front-end. Quick: do you have a reality-based game plan for coping with unplanned-for biometrics? Without well-planned bandwidth reports, branding reports are forced to become intuitive. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We understand that it is better to repurpose interactively than to integrate iteravely. Think strategic. Think user-centric. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to streamline. Without appropriate out-of-the-box performance, functionalities are forced to become next-generation. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our client-focused value-added, collaborative intuitive, 60/24/7/365 virtual, visionary, real-world TQM and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will step up our capability to synthesize without reducing our power to target.