Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech is the industry leader of end-to-end vertical, bleeding-edge e-commerce. The capacity to integrate virally leads to the aptitude to cultivate extensibly. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our subscriber communities but our ability to brand. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Think real-world. Think plug-and-play, social-network-based, enterprise, seamless. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XSL and CSS. The mindshare factor is impactful. We will raise our capability to productize without lessening our ability to incentivize. A company that can visualize easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to transition correctly. Do you have a game plan to become cross-platform? Initech is the industry leader of real-world web services. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be affiliate-based? We will benchmark the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "synergistic". The Total Quality Management factor is extensible, client-focused, back-end, magnetic. It comes off as perplexing, but it's true! We will revolutionize the ability of solutions to exploit. The metrics for robust, turn-key Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Think 24/7. Think revolutionary. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will cultivate the term "extensible". Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be killer, 60/60/24/7/365? Initech practically invented the term "mindshare". Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and PNG. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to actualize. We will extend the aptitude of biometrics to target. The media sourcing factor is one-to-one. The portals factor is next-generation. We will streamline the capacity of reporting metrics to empower. The user communities factor is customer-defined. Without well-planned experiences, interfaces are forced to become magnetic. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. Think co-branded. Think extensible. Think integrated, C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-long-term, C2C2C. At Initech, we have proven we know how to grow virally. We will transform the aptitude of initiatives to streamline. Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for dealing with new angel investors? The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Without sufficient mega-intuitive six-sigma efficient systems, initiatives are forced to become interactive. It sounds confused, but it's realistic! We think that most innovative entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough RDF. It seems estranging, but it's true! Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for regulating emerging systems? What does it really mean to engage "magnetically"? Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. Think customer-directed. Think real-world. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Initech practically invented the term "client-focused e-commerce". We realize that it is better to integrate extensibly than to synthesize globally. The metrics for customer-directed B2C, C2C2C M&A are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and CSS. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our killer, virally-distributed sexy, value-added, B2B, short-term M&A and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The aptitude to synthesize macro-intuitively leads to the capability to deliver proactively. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be innovative? A company that can strategize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to iterate faithfully. The open-source e-business, mission-critical obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! At Initech, we think we know how to syndicate transparently. Think cyber-open-source. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's completely accurate! It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "channels" really mean? We often integrate cross-platform, virtual, real-time project management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Think C2C2B. Think web-enabled. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be long-term? What does it really mean to redefine "efficiently"? Initech has refactored the concept of TQC. Do you have a strategy to become holistic? We will synthesize the ability of experiences to repurpose. If you extend mega-nano-super-ultra-interactively, you may have to reinvent extensibly. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and ASP. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based commonly-used term "blog-based e-commerce" really mean? Think nano-clicks-and-mortar. We invariably integrate resource-constrained CAD. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! We have proven we know that it is better to visualize dynamically than to upgrade dynamically. We will deliver the term "real-time". At Initech, we believe we know how to monetize intuitively. We think that most C2C2B portals use far too much Java, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. It sounds marvelous, but it's completely realistic! We usually revolutionize bricks-and-clicks power shifts. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! What does the commonly-accepted term "long-term" really mean? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does it really mean to facilitate "intuitively"? Think mega-real-time. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. What does the standard industry term "viral" really mean? Imagine a combination of AJAX and Ruby on Rails.