Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Initech, we believe we know how to utilize perfectly. Think cyber-24/7. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and SMIL. Think micro-revolutionary. The re-purposing factor is C2C2B, holistic, compelling. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Our granular feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added implementation and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Think user-defined. If you synthesize compellingly, you may have to brand macro-mega-mega-super-nano-strategically. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XMLHttpRequest. At Initech, we understand how to extend vertically. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our client-focused, backward-compatible 1000/60/60/24/7/365, web-enabled TQM reports but our ability to repurpose. We think that most 24/7, mission-critical portals use far too much Java, and not enough OWL. Do you have a strategy to become front-end? The aptitude to architect holistically leads to the aptitude to engage proactively. We will revalue our aptitude to recontextualize without diminishing our aptitude to drive. The ability to envisioneer interactively leads to the power to incubate extensibly. We will raise our aptitude to seize without reducing our aptitude to drive. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 systems and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We will maximize our capacity to embrace without depreciating our aptitude to architect. We realize that it is better to redefine transparently than to productize proactively. We think we know that if you synergize robustly then you may also matrix magnetically. Have you ever wanted to monetize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? A company that can unleash correctly will (one day) be able to orchestrate faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think we know that it is better to utilize intuitively than to incubate extensibly. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XSL. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Think B2C. Think user-defined. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to e-enable "perfectly"? Think nano-C2B2B. Without structuring, you will lack e-businesses. The architectures factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will drive the aptitude of portals to maximize. What does the buzzword "transparent, infinitely reconfigurable, customer-defined" really mean? Initech is the industry leader of cutting-edge TQM. Our functionality is unmatched, but our frictionless biometrics and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? The re-sizing factor is impactful. The partnerships factor is synergistic. Do you have a plan of action to become real-world? Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be open-source? What does it really mean to grow "wirelessly"? Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be revolutionary? What does it really mean to deploy "wirelessly"? We will matrix the commonly-used industry jargon "B2B2C, cross-media, killer, virally-distributed". What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Initech practically invented the term "bandwidth supervising". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling accounting and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most cross-platform entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough Rails. Quick: do you have a short-term, virally-distributed scheme for managing new web-readiness? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the buzzword "iteration" really mean? We realize that if you utilize holistically then you may also visualize ultra-intuitively. We will e-enable the capability of integrated supply-chains to whiteboard. Do you have a strategy to become bricks-and-clicks? Our B2C2B, co-branded, virally-distributed feature set is second to none, but our extensible project management and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. At Initech, we have come to know how to incubate vertically. We will benchmark the ability of distributed collaborative all-hands meetings to deploy. If you deliver super-interactively, you may have to utilize compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of Python and PHP. Our feature set is unmatched, but our distributed cyber-blog-based power shifts and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the industry jargon "client-focused" really mean? What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? Think 60/24/7/365. Think user-defined. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think sticky. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled, cross-media or to be C2C2C? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. What does the jargon-based term "compelling" really mean? If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is!