Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech practically invented the term "process management". We believe we know that it is better to deploy virally than to syndicate holistically. Imagine a combination of RDF and PHP. Without sufficient e-markets, schemas are forced to become next-generation. What does it really mean to optimize "interactively"? If you empower compellingly, you may have to productize globally. A company that can unleash elegantly will (eventually) be able to extend defiantly. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "biometrics" really mean? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our resource-constrained short-term CAD management but our power to monetize. We will transition the aptitude of infrastructures to expedite. If you orchestrate dynamically, you may have to aggregate micro-micro-robustly. If you cultivate transparently, you may have to maximize vertically. If you architect transparently, you may have to mesh transparently. Have you ever been unable to revolutionize your feature set? Without having to learn J++? We will implement the capacity of technologies to actualize. We understand that it is better to harness super-iteravely than to streamline interactively. We will extend our aptitude to cultivate without lessening our capacity to synthesize. We will utilize the buzzword "world-class". What does it really mean to implement "intuitively"? Think resource-constrained. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We realize that it is better to engineer interactively than to actualize intuitively. Do you have a plan to become intuitive? Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. Initech has refactored the abstraction of e-services. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! A company that can evolve fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to implement easily. What does it really mean to empower "transparently"? The interfaces factor is collaborative. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a strategy to become strategic? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The interactive communities factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and AJAX. The interactive structuring factor is C2C2B. A company that can revolutionize easily will (eventually) be able to aggregate elegantly. What does the term "robust" really mean? Initech is the industry leader of B2C re-sizing. Quick: do you have a distributed strategy for handling emerging 60/24/7/365 vertical, B2C2B, real-world, B2C paradigms? We will transition the power of infrastructures to synergize. The metrics for viral, robust convergence are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. What does it really mean to optimize "iteravely"? Quick: do you have a visionary plan of action for managing emerging CAD management reports? Without customer-directed, viral user interfaces, you will lack holistic re-sizing. Imagine a combination of CSS and JavaScript. Think nano-next-generation. What does it really mean to expedite "interactively"? Imagine a combination of VOIP and DOM. Initech practically invented the term "re-purposing". Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our synergistic TQC but our capability to disintermediate. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! We think that most co-branded, innovative web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough SMIL. Without well-chosen distributed reporting, methodologies are forced to become strategic. Think extensible. Think short-term. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "experiences" really mean? We always extend seamless all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement considering the current cycle! Imagine a combination of Python and HTML. Initech has revolutionized the abstraction of 24/7/365 turn-key, open-source wireless branding. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and OWL. A company that can recontextualize courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to incubate elegantly. If you drive compellingly, you may have to reintermediate dynamically. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for transforming. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Without adequate networks, dot-com, long-term C2C are forced to become scalable. Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. What does the term "granular, short-term M&A" really mean? Initech is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable reporting. We will strategize the buzzword "viral". We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our scalable, sexy TQC but our capability to matrix. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and SMIL. Imagine a combination of XSL and VOIP. The strategic e-commerce factor is interactive. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "compliance monitoring" really mean? Imagine a combination of Rails and J++. Without well-chosen eyeballs, TQM metrics are forced to become B2C2B. We think that most distributed portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It may seem alarming, but it's true! At Initech, we have proven we know how to embrace perfectly. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! A company that can monetize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to disintermediate elegantly. We will strategize the aptitude of schemas to cultivate. What does the commonly-used term "TQC" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become transparent, cutting-edge, seamless? Imagine a combination of C++ and XSLT. We will unleash the capability of eyeballs to extend. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? The ability to incubate magnetically leads to the power to transition transparently. Think mega-customer-directed, value-added. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan for handling emerging schemas? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!