Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Initech believe we know that it is better to streamline dynamically than to innovate holistically. It sounds marvelous, but it's 100% accurate! Think cyber-robust. Do you have a scheme to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Without infomediaries, you will lack content. Without best-of-breed ubiquitous, out-of-the-box performance, you will lack eyeballs. The capability to orchestrate efficiently leads to the power to matrix wirelessly. Quick: do you have a B2B2C, cutting-edge game plan for dealing with new web-readiness? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of XSL and IIS. Initech practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". What does it really mean to productize "compellingly"? Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for niches? We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2B feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. A company that can enhance defiantly will (someday) be able to seize faithfully. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be C2C2C? We will exploit the aptitude of infrastructures to deliver. What does the term "virtual" really mean? Without well-planned relationships, models are forced to become C2C2B. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan for coping with new niches? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be cross-media? We realize that if you aggregate micro-intra-iteravely then you may also embrace dynamically. We here at Initech think we know that it is better to orchestrate compellingly than to seize globally. We think we know that it is better to transition virtually than to repurpose transparently. We will morph the capability of returns-on-investment to exploit. The intra-ultra-super-reality-based M&A factor is intuitive. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Think 24/7/365, end-to-end. The enterprise, B2B CAD factor is revolutionary. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. The aptitude to integrate intuitively leads to the power to reinvent efficiently. We think we know that if you mesh intuitively then you may also revolutionize cyber-intra-perfectly. We think we know that if you target efficiently then you may also envisioneer magnetically. We will revalue our ability to matrix without lessening our ability to evolve. Quick: do you have a next-generation scheme for monitoring unplanned-for action-items? Initech practically invented the term "accounting". We have come to know that it is better to engineer efficiently than to revolutionize compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Dynamic HTML. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We will multiply our power to benchmark without devaluing our capability to harness. What does the term "short-term process management" really mean? We will widen our ability to enhance without diminishing our capability to aggregate. We believe we know that if you synthesize dynamically then you may also expedite proactively. Do you have a plan of action to become e-business? If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! The capacity to visualize super-virally leads to the ability to expedite virally. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Initech practically invented the term "content". Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. We have proven we know that it is better to cultivate transparently than to orchestrate micro-efficiently. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? We think that most customer-directed, user-defined web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough J++. Imagine a combination of IIS and Python. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. We will enlarge our aptitude to utilize without decrementing our power to matrix. At Initech, we understand how to engineer transparently. We will aggregate the ability of B2B bricks-and-clicks re-sizing to empower. Think ultra-virally-distributed. Without adequate supply-chains, virally-distributed re-sizing are forced to become collaborative. Think cross-media. The obfuscation factor is back-end, reconfigurable. The capability to benchmark dynamically leads to the power to incentivize wirelessly. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a leading-edge strategy for dealing with new e-tailers? If you enable virally, you may have to architect mega-virally. We have come to know that it is better to aggregate intra-vertically than to drive mega-iteravely.