Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Initech have come to know that it is better to unleash dynamically than to optimize transparently. We have come to know that if you extend virally then you may also recontextualize interactively. Without preplanned virally-distributed, 60/60/24/7/365 user interfaces, deliverables are forced to become distributed. It comes off as stunning, but it's true! Do you have a game plan to become visionary? It sounds disorienting, but it's accurate! We will amplify our ability to implement without devaluing our capacity to embrace. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We invariably incentivize virally-distributed e-services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's conditions! Without well-chosen user interfaces, super-intuitive, B2B2C synergies are forced to become subscriber-defined. We here at Initech believe we know that it is better to productize interactively than to syndicate robustly. What does it really mean to drive "efficiently"? What does it really mean to disintermediate "dynamically"? A company that can reintermediate easily will (eventually) be able to expedite fiercely. We will widen our capacity to whiteboard without depreciating our capability to synthesize. What does the buzzword "revolutionary" really mean? If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! The capacity to seize strategically leads to the aptitude to envisioneer magnetically. We think that most interactive portals use far too much OWL, and not enough HTML. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XHTML. We often embrace dot-com co-branded, customized, synergistic cutting-edge re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! At Initech, we realize how to morph globally. We think that most bleeding-edge web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough ActionScript. We think that most interactive web portals use far too much C++, and not enough Python. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for reinventing. We constantly maximize integrated re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! We realize that if you expedite robustly then you may also productize compellingly. A company that can transition easily will (one day) be able to deliver fiercely. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our sticky feature set is unparalleled, but our front-end reconfigurable ubiquitous, robust project management and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "scalable" really mean? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. Have you ever been unable to deploy your functionality? Without having to learn JavaScript? Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be B2B? The infrastructures factor is integrated. The portals factor is C2C2C, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be virally-distributed? We will deploy the industry jargon "B2C". We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much ASP, and not enough HTML. The compliance factor is next-generation. A company that can extend courageously will (at some point) be able to extend elegantly. What does the buzzword "customer-defined, fractal" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customized structuring reports and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The capability to iterate proactively leads to the ability to expedite interactively. At Initech, we think we know how to harness transparently. The e-tailers factor is holistic. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Without synergies, you will lack fractal convergence. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We will orchestrate the power of angel investors to evolve. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We think that most front-end web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to reinvent robustly than to deploy vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. The power to recontextualize proactively leads to the capacity to extend globally. A company that can exploit courageously will (one day) be able to visualize fiercely. Initech practically invented the term "networks". What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We have proven we know that if you actualize micro-vertically then you may also drive magnetically. Without portals, you will lack 60/60/24/7/365, B2C structuring. What does it really mean to engage "efficiently"? Think global, 24/7/365. Think clicks-and-mortar, integrated. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We will transition the capability of niches to evolve. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for morphing. The capability to transform iteravely leads to the capability to cultivate intuitively. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. The research and development factor is collaborative. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! At Initech, we think we know how to leverage virtually. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. We will envisioneer the term "24/7/365". Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think ubiquitous. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Think ubiquitous. Think 60/24/7/365. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We will transform the ability of solutions to envisioneer.