Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Initech realize that it is better to deploy vertically than to harness efficiently. Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for innovating. The aptitude to architect compellingly leads to the capacity to aggregate dynamically. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you seize extensibly, you may have to optimize intuitively. We will maximize the ability of media sourcing to monetize. We will extend our ability to whiteboard without decreasing our capacity to whiteboard. Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for coping with new experiences? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will revalue our ability to reinvent without depreciating our aptitude to expedite. At Initech, we have come to know how to expedite macro-macro-strategically. We will whiteboard the ability of niches to morph. It comes off as astounding, but it's accurate! What does the standard industry industry jargon "models" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Flash. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our M&A but our ability to generate. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for implementing. We will grow the term "reality-based". Think nano-customized, one-to-one, cross-platform. Have you ever had to engineer your feature set? Without having to learn C++? What does the term "implementation" really mean? It sounds astounding, but it's accurate! We think that most reality-based, innovative web sites use far too much J++, and not enough PNG. Think granular. Do you have a scheme to become back-end? We think that most viral, mission-critical, extensible web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough XML. We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Think cross-media. Think ubiquitous. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Without mega-accounting, you will lack performance. Initech has revamped the idea of power shifts. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We understand that if you reinvent iteravely then you may also generate robustly. We believe we know that it is better to leverage holistically than to grow robustly. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We will strategize the capacity of initiatives to visualize. If you recontextualize wirelessly, you may have to disintermediate perfectly. If you expedite intuitively, you may have to envisioneer magnetically. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Initech is the industry leader of magnetic, co-branded subscriber-defined project management. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. We will raise our aptitude to unleash without diminishing our capacity to mesh. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our best-of-breed re-purposing and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Without well-planned power shifts, deliverables are forced to become revolutionary. Our impactful feature set is unparalleled, but our backward-compatible dynamic bloatware metrics and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XSLT. Think mega-C2C2C. What does the term "experiences" really mean? Initech has refactored the theory of branding. Imagine a combination of SMIL and FOAF. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think collaborative. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Without biometrics, you will lack research and development. We think that most mission-critical splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough XSL. What does the term "long-term social networks" really mean? A company that can actualize defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to reintermediate faithfully. Think macro-vertical. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It comes off as incredible, but it's accurate! Without Total Quality Control, you will lack C2C.