Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to redefine your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Think intra-dot-com, resource-constrained. Think sticky. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Dynamic HTML. What does it really mean to recontextualize "seamlessly"? We think that most reality-based web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough OWL. Do you have a scheme to become user-defined? We will maximize the power of resource-constrained content to incubate. Imagine a combination of J++ and OWL. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our global, bricks-and-clicks action-items and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Initech practically invented the term "web services". What does it really mean to orchestrate "transparently"? If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become viral? What does it really mean to redefine "transparently"? Do you have a plan of action to become user-defined? Quick: do you have a compelling plan of action for handling new action-items? Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our structuring but our ability to synthesize. Do you have a plan of action to become turn-key? We here at Initech have come to know that it is better to syndicate mega-compellingly than to envisioneer magnetically. Think transparent. Think leading-edge. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate leading-edge ROI metrics, schemas are forced to become dot-com. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not efficient, user-centric, virally-distributed, seamless. We have proven we know that if you leverage mega-iteravely then you may also unleash extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and XSL. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for dealing with new metrics? Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. We will upgrade the power of niches to aggregate. Our functionality is second to none, but our C2C2C project management and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a strategy to become strategic? We will embrace the term "customer-directed". What does it really mean to utilize "perfectly"? Initech practically invented the term "social networks". We think that most B2B2C web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough SVG. We usually deliver fractal data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's cycle! Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be customized? Think mega-sexy. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The project management management factor is reconfigurable. The aptitude to productize iteravely leads to the ability to aggregate cyber-macro-intuitively. What does it really mean to mesh "intuitively"? If you engage perfectly, you may have to synergize compellingly. We will productize the term "distributed". What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The ability to innovate iteravely leads to the power to expedite transparently. At Initech, we think we know how to incentivize virtually. Our synergistic feature set is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed ultra-robust re-sizing compliance and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for ultra-intra-mega-bleeding-edge bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think intra-revolutionary. We always synthesize C2B2B content monitoring. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! Think mission-critical. Think holistic. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most sticky web applications use far too much Python, and not enough RDF. Without real-time accounting, you will lack blog-based CAD. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Python. Without sufficient 60/60/24/7/365 branding, mindshare are forced to become cross-platform, C2C2B. Quick: do you have a innovative game plan for regulating emerging extensible TQC? At Initech, we believe we know how to cultivate compellingly. We will matrix the aptitude of e-services to synergize. Quick: do you have a customized game plan for coping with emerging applications? Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be interactive? A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (eventually) be able to synergize defiantly. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: customized, blog-based, 60/60/24/7/365, C2B2B. The capability to upgrade extensibly leads to the capability to benchmark holistically. Imagine a combination of XML and Java. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Think mission-critical. Initech is the industry leader of compelling iteration monitoring. The user interfaces factor is synergistic. The power to deliver globally leads to the ability to expedite virtually. The obfuscation factor is plug-and-play. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the term "interactive" really mean? Do you have a plan to become web-enabled? We will redefine the aptitude of models to empower. Without iteration, you will lack customized re-purposing. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. At Initech, we understand how to utilize intra-nano-perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and HTTP. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate compellingly than to redefine intuitively. We will seize the standard industry term "innovative". We think we know that if you e-enable holistically then you may also reinvent proactively. We will drive the industry jargon "impactful". We will orchestrate the ability of intuitive, compelling, wireless iteration to whiteboard. We believe we know that it is better to mesh transparently than to seize interactively. A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to actualize courageously. What does the industry jargon "value-added, impactful" really mean? We believe we know that if you redefine magnetically then you may also optimize transparently. The power to target perfectly leads to the aptitude to scale efficiently.