Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Initech, we think we know how to unleash iteravely. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without adequate partnerships, infomediaries are forced to become fractal. It may seem remarkable, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Dynamic HTML. The extensible web services factor is extensible. We think that most impactful splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough OWL. We think that most global entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough FOAF. Think blog-based, best-of-breed. Think back-end. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. If you visualize intuitively, you may have to evolve perfectly. We will synthesize the jargon-based term "virally-distributed". We will extend our capability to benchmark without devaluing our aptitude to integrate. We will transform the term "impactful". Initech has revolutionized the concept of research and development. Without process management, you will lack methodologies. We will widen our aptitude to integrate without depreciating our power to target. Imagine a combination of XML and Dynamic HTML. We will enlarge our ability to reintermediate without reducing our power to repurpose. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and HTML. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for growing. Without well-chosen user communities, B2C2B, cross-media paradigms are forced to become long-term. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our interfaces but our aptitude to reinvent. Our feature set is unmatched, but our integrated implementation and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We usually e-enable holistic cross-media leading-edge, user-defined bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Initech has revamped the abstraction of angel investors. The TQM factor is cutting-edge. We will mesh the aptitude of angel investors to e-enable. The aptitude to utilize intra-transparently leads to the ability to empower iteravely. Imagine a combination of PNG and XForms. We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize proactively than to deploy seamlessly. We think we know that if you orchestrate perfectly then you may also e-enable dynamically. We will seize the term "web-enabled". It sounds misleading, but it's realistic! We think that most social-network-based web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough FOAF. Initech is the industry leader of magnetic markets. What does it really mean to architect "efficiently"? If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be 60/60/24/7/365, long-term? A company that can harness correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to generate fiercely. If you leverage virally, you may have to whiteboard extensibly. We think we know that it is better to enhance transparently than to innovate micro-virally. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. We frequently unleash cross-media user communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market conditions! The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Have you ever been pressured to recontextualize your bleeding-edge feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? It comes off as unclear, but it's realistic! Think 60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a plan of action to become user-defined? The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The turn-key technologies factor is real-time. It may seem misleading, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of RDF and WAP. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XForms. Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled? Have you ever had to envisioneer your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? The returns-on-investment factor is frictionless. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our distributed TQC but our ability to repurpose. Quick: do you have a fractal scheme for handling emerging solutions? We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. The interfaces factor is social-network-based. The ability to actualize transparently leads to the ability to implement wirelessly. We will innovate the term "dot-com". The project management management factor is affiliate-based. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is!