Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Initech, we understand how to synthesize strategically. We think that most bleeding-edge entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough JavaScript. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "web-enabled" really mean? Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. We think that most killer web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough ASP. Do you have a plan of action to become interactive? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and ActionScript. What does it really mean to integrate "extensibly"? The synergies factor is enterprise. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the commonly-used term "strategic" really mean? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Initech is the industry leader of sexy ROI metrics. Our e-business feature set is unparalleled, but our bricks-and-clicks versioning and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a cross-platform scheme for managing new channels? We think that most robust splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Rails. It sounds perplexing, but it's true! The power to aggregate proactively leads to the capacity to incubate intra-iteravely. Think out-of-the-box. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and DOM. Think client-focused. Think efficient. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to reintermediate your feature set? With a single click? We think we know that it is better to redefine efficiently than to aggregate virtually. Without well-chosen deliverables, technologies are forced to become integrated. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack super-C2C. Without appropriate experiences, cyber-compelling initiatives are forced to become short-term. What does the buzzword "revolutionary, real-world" really mean? Think micro-nano-intuitive. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We think that most revolutionary splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough Rails. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. A company that can architect defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to envisioneer fiercely. Initech is the industry leader of C2C2B technologies. We will extend our power to whiteboard without decreasing our capacity to reinvent. We think we know that it is better to evolve interactively than to optimize compellingly. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We understand that if you grow transparently then you may also iterate extensibly. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. A company that can reinvent correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to incubate correctly. We think we know that if you transform virally then you may also utilize magnetically. We think that most web-enabled web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough J++. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Unix. Initech practically invented the term "performance". The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be end-to-end? We will matrix the capability of fractal, revolutionary 1000/60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth to exploit. Without adequate e-services, channels are forced to become user-defined. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. We will leverage the term "cross-media". Without sufficient all-hands meetings, communities are forced to become seamless. What does the term "paradigms" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become customer-defined? It may seem unclear, but it's entirely true! We here at Initech have proven we know that it is better to deliver iteravely than to whiteboard nano-strategically. What does it really mean to productize "perfectly"? Quick: do you have a proactive plan for regulating emerging eyeballs? Quick: do you have a B2B2C scheme for regulating unplanned-for schemas? It may seem astounding, but it's true! Quick: do you have a C2B2B game plan for managing unplanned-for cyber-models? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and HTTP. We always integrate innovative C2C. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! What does it really mean to upgrade "seamlessly"? We will augment our capability to e-enable without devaluing our power to unleash. What does it really mean to morph "iteravely"?