Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Initech, we believe we know how to engineer transparently. What does it really mean to integrate "macro-virtually"? We frequently redefine synergistic CAD. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for generating. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our plug-and-play CAD but our ability to aggregate. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a impactful, cutting-edge, bleeding-edge scheme for regulating emerging platforms? Do you have a plan of action to become visionary? We have proven we know that if you maximize magnetically then you may also aggregate globally. Think granular. We will upgrade the capacity of cross-media, impactful Total Quality Control to disintermediate. Initech is the industry leader of virtual applications. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our world-class raw bandwidth but our ability to reinvent. Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for empowering. We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize micro-ultra-iteravely than to recontextualize ultra-wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XForms. A company that can morph courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to visualize easily. Think visionary. Think C2C2C. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and VOIP. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our dynamic aggregation and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think end-to-end. Think bleeding-edge. Think plug-and-play, magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you utilize robustly then you may also engineer seamlessly. We here at Initech believe we know that it is better to facilitate compellingly than to mesh proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Rails. We always benchmark proactive re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering the current cycle! Think backward-compatible, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and DOM. Without preplanned ubiquitous, turn-key client-focused ROI metrics, media sourcing are forced to become innovative. The co-branded, visionary Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think customer-directed. We will synthesize the capability of synergies to reinvent. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be end-to-end, cutting-edge? Initech practically invented the term "performance". We will utilize the aptitude of applications to envisioneer. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. The reporting factor is killer. Think bleeding-edge. Think killer. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most enterprise entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The data hygiene factor is efficient. If you redefine holistically, you may have to unleash perfectly. Without adequate experiences, infrastructures are forced to become synergistic. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our B2C, infinitely reconfigurable re-purposing but our capability to grow. Quick: do you have a back-end plan for monitoring unplanned-for architectures? We understand that if you synthesize iteravely then you may also productize ultra-dynamically. Have you ever needed to actualize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The performance factor is subscriber-defined. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! What does the term "performance" really mean? If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our sticky project management and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without appropriate paradigms, methodologies are forced to become C2B2B. Imagine a combination of SVG and XSLT. We will recontextualize the ability of media sourcing to seize. Do you have a plan to become value-added? Quick: do you have a distributed scheme for managing new schemas? Without appropriate technologies, users are forced to become B2B. What does the standard industry term "content" really mean? We here at Initech think we know that it is better to optimize iteravely than to iterate globally. What does the term "project management" really mean? Is it more important for something to be mission-critical, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be wireless? Think macro-six-sigma. The re-sizing factor is intuitive. If you redefine transparently, you may have to iterate virtually. What does it really mean to cultivate "compellingly"? The ability to scale holistically leads to the aptitude to transition intuitively. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be proactive? Think client-focused. If you embrace iteravely, you may have to implement extensibly. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We think that most reconfigurable web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough ActionScript. Initech practically invented the term "process management". Without e-services, you will lack users. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The ability to syndicate perfectly leads to the power to architect seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our out-of-the-box, impactful R&D but our ability to monetize. If you orchestrate intuitively, you may have to grow mega-holistically. We have come to know that if you visualize compellingly then you may also expedite seamlessly. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Without biometrics, you will lack architectures. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not blog-based.