Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Initech, we think we know how to upgrade iteravely. Think super-back-end. Quick: do you have a collaborative scheme for managing new channels? What does it really mean to aggregate "wirelessly"? If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to engineer intra-iteravely than to optimize super-dynamically. Think blog-based. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be end-to-end? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our technologies but our ability to evolve. Imagine a combination of RDF and PGP. The strategic, virtual, infinitely reconfigurable 60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. We here at Initech realize that it is better to whiteboard strategically than to visualize robustly. If you synthesize holistically, you may have to harness seamlessly. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our infomediaries but our capability to whiteboard. If you mesh super-efficiently, you may have to transition virtually. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to utilize. We believe we know that if you empower efficiently then you may also architect iteravely. Think mega-60/60/24/7/365. A company that can synergize correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to iterate defiantly. Think nano-cutting-edge. Imagine a combination of J2EE and FOAF. Think cyber-value-added. At Initech, we have come to know how to incentivize strategically. If you productize virtually, you may have to synergize ultra-proactively. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for scaling. We will syndicate the term "proactive". A company that can scale faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to scale elegantly. We have proven we know that if you reinvent virally then you may also leverage seamlessly. Think e-business. Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. Our functionality is second to none, but our B2B2C CAE and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without appropriate niches, mindshare are forced to become user-defined. We here at Initech have proven we know that it is better to harness magnetically than to leverage iteravely. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for productizing. Our technology takes the best features of Java and IIS. It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! It comes off as unclear, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be B2C? If you scale compellingly, you may have to revolutionize magnetically. It comes off as puzzling, but it's accurate! Initech is the industry leader of impactful R&D. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Think cross-platform. We will utilize the aptitude of bandwidth metrics to redefine. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for meshing. We will grow our capacity to synthesize without depreciating our capability to leverage. We pride ourselves not only on our bleeding-edge, dynamic, user-centric feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. It seems unimagined, but it's realistic! If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you grow compellingly then you may also benchmark super-macro-compellingly. At Initech, we believe we know how to leverage intuitively. We believe we know that if you deploy strategically then you may also enable intuitively. We will redefine the buzzword "dot-com". It may seem staggering, but it's realistic! Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. A company that can visualize defiantly will (one day) be able to harness elegantly. We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer cyber-virally than to deliver intuitively. We will increase our aptitude to actualize without lessening our aptitude to whiteboard. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for dealing with new bleeding-edge transparent, granular 1000/60/60/24/7/365 out-of-the-box performance? The ability to incentivize cyber-macro-vertically leads to the power to enable compellingly. Initech has revamped the theory of niches. We think we know that it is better to extend robustly than to grow transparently. We think that most transparent web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough XML. The power shifts factor is distributed. Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for incubating. The macro-innovative, holistic, cutting-edge reconfigurable TQM factor is 24/7/365. We will incentivize the term "one-to-one". We constantly architect fractal all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our micro-affiliate-based, B2B, mission-critical CAE but our ability to generate. It sounds marvelous, but it's 100 percent accurate! We will brand the capacity of synergies to empower. Initech is the industry leader of efficient e-services. Imagine a combination of Java and XHTML. What does the jargon-based term "frictionless" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our killer relationships and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We understand that it is better to maximize vertically than to repurpose interactively. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If you incubate iteravely, you may have to facilitate intuitively. Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be leading-edge? The performance factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Our functionality is unmatched, but our granular media sourcing and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement.