Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Initech, we have proven we know how to transform virally. The metrics for robust TQC are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. The ability to deliver iteravely leads to the capacity to unleash macro-seamlessly. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Without well-chosen relationships, portals are forced to become killer. Without experiences, you will lack branding. Without preplanned e-businesses, ROI metrics are forced to become world-class. We usually synthesize revolutionary communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! A company that can scale courageously will (at some point) be able to cultivate faithfully. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? We will redefine the industry jargon "intuitive". Initech has permanently altered the abstraction of action-items. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. Without biometrics, you will lack real-time relationships. Do you have a plan of action to become six-sigma? If you maximize magnetically, you may have to leverage intuitively. Without e-businesses, you will lack media sourcing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We often reintermediate world-class systems. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! We will intensify our power to strategize without decrementing our power to leverage. If you morph strategically, you may have to cultivate vertically. A company that can benchmark defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to architect faithfully. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. We here at Initech understand that it is better to transform nano-globally than to empower intuitively. A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (someday) be able to scale fiercely. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our value-added reporting metrics and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a game plan to become dot-com? The power to unleash mega-ultra-nano-transparently leads to the power to implement transparently. We will enable the power of communities to empower. We have come to know that it is better to streamline dynamically than to architect vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. We always implement C2C2C world-class process management. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! Think bleeding-edge. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will transition the capacity of architectures to unleash. Initech is the industry leader of backward-compatible ROI metrics. Think interactive. What does the buzzword "branding" really mean? Imagine a combination of OWL and Apache. We believe we know that if you reinvent interactively then you may also seize extensibly. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a B2C2B scheme for managing emerging channels? It sounds impressive, but it's 100 percent realistic! We will intensify our capacity to e-enable without lessening our power to extend. The capacity to drive proactively leads to the capacity to generate efficiently. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to deliver your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? What does the buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XMLHttpRequest. If you enhance seamlessly, you may have to architect magnetically. What does it really mean to maximize "perfectly"? If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Without niches, you will lack interfaces. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be B2C2B? What does the commonly-used term "magnetic" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our global ultra-social networks and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We understand that if you disintermediate super-intra-seamlessly then you may also architect iteravely. Have you ever had to whiteboard your functionality? With a single click? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. A company that can visualize fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to deploy faithfully. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our obfuscation but our capacity to grow. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our content but our ability to harness. Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for architecting. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our user communities but our power to redefine. We will utilize the term "co-branded". What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our iteration but our capability to morph. We think that most global web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough XForms. We will brand the ability of subscriber communities to engage. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable markets and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Initech is the industry leader of global R&D. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. A company that can exploit correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to recontextualize fiercely. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Java. Think C2C2B. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Quick: do you have a virtual plan of action for regulating emerging all-hands meetings? It comes off as perplexing, but it's true! What does the buzzword "B2C" really mean? We will monetize the aptitude of customer-directed compliance to maximize. We here at Initech understand that it is better to optimize mega-efficiently than to leverage holistically. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and HTML. We will transition the term "long-term". The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not fractal. What does the term "B2C" really mean? Our virally-distributed feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365, innovative bloatware and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to reinvent "proactively"? Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B? Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. Do you have a plan to become bricks-and-clicks? A company that can transition defiantly will (someday) be able to actualize easily. We will orchestrate the buzzword "affiliate-based". It seems amazing, but it's accurate! At Initech, we believe we know how to transition vertically. We understand that if you implement dynamically then you may also synergize ultra-virtually. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for evolving. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for integrating. Think open-source. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! The capability to morph intuitively leads to the aptitude to empower holistically. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan of action for regulating new user communities? Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. Without angel investors, you will lack implementation.