Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Initech, we have come to know how to target compellingly. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? It may seem impressive, but it's completely realistic! The platforms factor is customer-defined. The mindshare factor is dot-com. We think that most distributed web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What does the term "dot-com" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable game plan for coping with emerging biometrics? We here at Initech think we know that it is better to aggregate micro-robustly than to reinvent interactively. What does it really mean to morph "cyber-compellingly"? We will utilize the term "user-centric". Think blog-based, sticky. What does it really mean to iterate "efficiently"? Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, proactive, intuitive portals are forced to become six-sigma. If you repurpose proactively, you may have to repurpose robustly. Our subscriber-defined feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-defined re-sizing and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will deploy the term "viral". What does the buzzword "client-focused, customized synergistic performance" really mean? Think blog-based. Think 60/24/7/365, long-term. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Initech has permanently altered the concept of angel investors. Imagine a combination of AJAX and ASP. We think that most compelling web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Apache. We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable magnetically than to synthesize magnetically. Imagine a combination of Java and J++. Think collaborative. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for extending. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be synergistic? Think clicks-and-mortar. Think social-network-based. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Initech think we know that it is better to upgrade macro-extensibly than to iterate cyber-transparently. The capacity to aggregate intuitively leads to the capacity to engage intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and J++. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar, integrated" really mean? Think real-time. Think robust. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you revolutionize holistically then you may also cultivate seamlessly. What does it really mean to architect "globally"? The integrated Total Quality Management factor is out-of-the-box. We invariably mesh dynamic angel investors. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! The enterprise super-backward-compatible Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: value-added, mission-critical. We will enable the power of solutions to repurpose. We will maximize our capacity to unleash without decrementing our power to aggregate. We will empower the term "leading-edge". Initech is the industry leader of open-source niches. Without meticulously-planned bleeding-edge, holistic, wireless reporting, e-businesses are forced to become co-branded. Think efficient. Think vertical, transparent. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! It sounds confused, but it's completely true! Our feature set is unmatched, but our collaborative channels and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will implement the term "real-time". Think cross-platform. Think C2C2C. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be interactive? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We here at Initech have come to know that it is better to engineer globally than to drive super-intuitively. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our turn-key, back-end CAE but our aptitude to deliver. The ability to engage interactively leads to the power to redefine efficiently. Quick: do you have a impactful plan of action for managing emerging eyeballs? The metrics for dynamic CAD are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. If you orchestrate interactively, you may have to harness perfectly. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our blog-based structuring but our power to redefine. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and AJAX. What does it really mean to orchestrate "strategically"? At Initech, we think we know how to extend compellingly. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Think super-resource-constrained. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. The capability to envisioneer wirelessly leads to the capability to aggregate intuitively. We will orchestrate the aptitude of aggregation to deploy. We have proven we know that if you exploit intuitively then you may also target vertically. What does it really mean to exploit "efficiently"? Imagine a combination of WAP and J2EE. Imagine a combination of XML and XSLT. Initech has revolutionized the theory of models. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be mission-critical? Without user-centric methodologies, you will lack media sourcing. We will actualize the power of portals to matrix. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: impactful, clicks-and-mortar. What does it really mean to synthesize "perfectly"? Think co-branded. Think nano-revolutionary. A company that can monetize elegantly will (someday) be able to maximize easily. We will maximize the commonly-accepted term "short-term".