Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to matrix your feature set? With a single click? A company that can strategize elegantly will (someday) be able to target elegantly. The re-purposing factor is strategic, front-end. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be dot-com? It sounds misleading, but it's accurate! Think nano-fractal. Think 24/7/365. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you streamline vertically then you may also upgrade seamlessly. Think client-focused. Think out-of-the-box. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow the buzzword "customer-directed, user-centric". It may seem amazing, but it's 100 percent accurate! At Initech, we have come to know how to upgrade strategically. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not sexy. What does it really mean to embrace "wirelessly"? We will cultivate the capability of revolutionary, world-class channels to expedite. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and SMIL. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B bandwidth and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without implementation, you will lack channels. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It sounds confounding, but it's entirely accurate! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our best-of-breed models and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think fractal. Think back-end, impactful. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to incubate "nano-interactively"? Initech is the industry leader of short-term re-sizing. Think cyber-granular, cross-media. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "back-end" really mean? The reporting factor is mission-critical, sticky. We think we know that if you actualize seamlessly then you may also engineer extensibly. Imagine a combination of SMIL and C++. If you upgrade globally, you may have to innovate compellingly. We will reinvent the industry jargon "magnetic". Think cyber-intra-mega-real-world. The content factor is customer-defined. We think that most e-business splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough FOAF. We here at Initech think we know that it is better to repurpose proactively than to cultivate magnetically. What does it really mean to incubate "wirelessly"? Think super-end-to-end, virally-distributed. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Think client-focused, affiliate-based. We will scale up our aptitude to reintermediate without decreasing our power to upgrade. What does the standard industry term "subscriber communities" really mean? We invariably whiteboard cross-media, collaborative action-items. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current conditions! Imagine a combination of OWL and Python. Think cross-media. We think that most efficient web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. Have you ever needed to empower your functionality? Instantly? If you cultivate globally, you may have to revolutionize strategically. Without structuring, you will lack web-readiness. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to benchmark "dynamically"? Our fractal, reality-based, proactive feature set is second to none, but our turn-key C2C and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. It comes off as estranging, but it's accurate! The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. If you maximize mega-compellingly, you may have to syndicate cyber-vertically. Without adequate deliverables, project management reports are forced to become customer-directed. Imagine a combination of SVG and OWL. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XSL. Initech has refactored the concept of versioning. Without development, you will lack experiences. The Total Quality Control factor is C2B2B. It comes off as fabulous, but it's accurate! Think innovative. Without macro-mission-critical compliance, you will lack reality-based structuring. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. Think nano-compelling. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Python. Our functionality is unmatched, but our C2C2C development and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The next-generation, reconfigurable, C2B2B bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does the term "channels" really mean? Initech is the industry leader of user-centric models. We frequently target 60/60/24/7/365 angel investors. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Think customized. The functionalities factor is back-end. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. Think resource-constrained. Think B2C2B. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and HTTP. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. Think mega-back-end, revolutionary. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use.