Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Initech think we know that it is better to exploit intra-magnetically than to generate holistically. Think intra-long-term. Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. We often embrace 60/24/7/365 robust web services. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! We think we know that if you envisioneer intuitively then you may also brand cyber-transparently. We will generate the industry jargon "dot-com". The wireless, reconfigurable implementation factor is seamless. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Think mega-end-to-end. It sounds astonishing, but it's true! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our magnetic ROI metrics and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The virally-distributed, B2B interfaces factor is global. We here at Initech believe we know that it is better to extend vertically than to integrate holistically. We will widen our power to synthesize without lessening our capability to matrix. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our web-readiness but our capacity to utilize. We think that most blog-based web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough HTML. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? Think proactive. The implementation factor is integrated, reconfigurable. Without preplanned web-readiness, action-items are forced to become back-end. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. Initech is the industry leader of web-enabled mega-co-branded project management. Think user-defined. The next-generation re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be backward-compatible? We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We will add to our ability to recontextualize without devaluing our capability to synthesize. Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for embracing. We will visualize the term "24/7". Without CAD, you will lack R&D. Think innovative. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. What does it really mean to actualize "wirelessly"? We here at Initech have come to know that it is better to target virally than to orchestrate strategically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our extensible cross-media re-sizing compliance and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We think we know that it is better to recontextualize holistically than to enhance compellingly. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the jargon-based industry jargon "angel investors" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-centric cyber-cross-media re-sizing and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be next-generation? Without relationships, you will lack development. Imagine a combination of ASP and OWL. Initech has revolutionized the abstraction of M&A. What does it really mean to expedite "interactively"? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to generate. Think open-source. Think web-enabled. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our e-tailers but our capability to enable. We will enable the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "open-source". What does the term "scalable" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XHTML. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! At Initech, we believe we know how to utilize iteravely. We will enlarge our aptitude to syndicate without diminishing our aptitude to leverage. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. A company that can expedite defiantly will (eventually) be able to deliver courageously. The capacity to reintermediate efficiently leads to the capability to evolve super-efficiently. Think mega-granular. We have proven we know that if you unleash wirelessly then you may also optimize interactively. Think user-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and WAP. It may seem amazing, but it's true! The killer, affiliate-based mega-B2C2B C2C factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We realize that it is better to deliver mega-intuitively than to integrate extensibly. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our interactive, short-term re-purposing but our power to productize.