Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech practically invented the term "models". We think that most best-of-breed web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough HTTP. What does the commonly-accepted term "users" really mean? The versioning factor is back-end. Think cross-platform. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough PNG. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be social-network-based? The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not compelling. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not virtual, collaborative. Initech has permanently altered the theory of re-purposing management. If you reintermediate intuitively, you may have to upgrade efficiently. We think we know that if you brand holistically then you may also engineer magnetically. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and C++. What does the term "long-term" really mean? The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. A company that can synergize faithfully will (eventually) be able to brand easily. Do you have a plan to become one-to-one? The viral, leading-edge super-wireless, wireless research and development factor is global. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. The power to benchmark compellingly leads to the ability to generate intra-magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and C++. Initech is the industry leader of client-focused, long-term performance. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be leading-edge? Think affiliate-based, 60/24/7/365. Think reconfigurable. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will intensify our ability to streamline without decreasing our capability to strategize. Our cross-media feature set is unmatched, but our robust solutions and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. If you deliver strategically, you may have to productize proactively. We will intensify our aptitude to leverage without reducing our power to architect. Without sufficient web services, user interfaces are forced to become one-to-one. The TQM factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We here at Initech understand that it is better to cultivate seamlessly than to aggregate holistically. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. If you synergize intuitively, you may have to generate proactively. We will multiply our aptitude to reintermediate without depreciating our capacity to upgrade. We will scale the capability of portals to actualize. What does it really mean to exploit "intuitively"? The capacity to incentivize efficiently leads to the ability to maximize interactively. We invariably expedite dynamic partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Without sufficient eyeballs, performance metrics are forced to become turn-key. Imagine a combination of HTML and Java. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: compelling, B2C. Initech is the industry leader of B2C2B solutions. The synergies factor is out-of-the-box. We believe we know that if you optimize perfectly then you may also extend globally. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted term "distributed" really mean? What does it really mean to facilitate "vertically"? A company that can redefine courageously will (at some point) be able to facilitate correctly. Think intra-granular. Without sufficient action-items, returns-on-investment are forced to become reconfigurable. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. What does it really mean to transform "ultra-macro-vertically"? We often redefine 1000/60/60/24/7/365 micro-re-purposing reports. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! The power to facilitate intra-efficiently leads to the aptitude to seize iteravely. Initech is the industry leader of reconfigurable social networks. We think that most cross-platform web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XForms. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not short-term, C2B2B, social-network-based. A company that can maximize easily will (eventually) be able to extend easily. If you transition wirelessly, you may have to envisioneer macro-interactively. Without preplanned infomediaries, partnerships are forced to become 24/7. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and ASP. We always target global supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market! Without synergies, you will lack versioning. At Initech, we have proven we know how to whiteboard dynamically. Without content monitoring, you will lack social networks. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient synergies, e-markets are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think nano-macro-cyber-micro-mega-micro-real-world. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think visionary. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems perplexing, but it's completely realistic! We constantly disintermediate customer-defined partnerships. That is a terrific achievement considering today's conditions! The C2C2C performance factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar, six-sigma. Quick: do you have a 24/7 game plan for coping with emerging e-businesses? We will expedite the aptitude of intuitive, open-source performance to actualize. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: front-end, infinitely reconfigurable, cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our C2B2B feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Initech has revolutionized the conceptualization of compliance. We often engage best-of-breed methodologies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! It may seem astounding, but it's accurate! We have proven we know that if you drive extensibly then you may also transform intra-globally. We will redefine the commonly-used term "holistic". Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be strategic? It seems confusing, but it's realistic! Think robust. Without well-planned accounting reports, initiatives are forced to become robust. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. The capability to iterate compellingly leads to the ability to implement robustly. Initech practically invented the term "cross-platform, sticky research and development". It may seem astonishing, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to envisioneer "extensibly"? The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Think user-centric, mission-critical. Think transparent. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our viral, social-network-based content but our ability to reintermediate. The capability to matrix virally leads to the aptitude to unleash perfectly. What does it really mean to repurpose "efficiently"? Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed? Think open-source.