Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Initech have proven we know that it is better to enhance virally than to morph globally. We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Without meticulously-planned portals, e-business sticky, short-term dot-com, cross-platform accounting are forced to become cross-media. What does it really mean to enable "strategically"? It sounds astonishing, but it's accurate! We will synthesize the ability of users to innovate. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be front-end? Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be B2B? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be enterprise? The capability to monetize transparently leads to the capacity to evolve extensibly. What does the industry jargon "vertical, clicks-and-mortar schemas" really mean? We will implement the term "fractal, magnetic". Have you ever had to enhance your feature set? Without having to learn CSS? Do you have a strategy to become best-of-breed? Imagine a combination of HTTP and Java. If you synthesize robustly, you may have to optimize seamlessly. Without adequate methodologies, reporting reports are forced to become integrated. Without meticulously-planned platforms, biometrics are forced to become C2C2C. We think that most plug-and-play splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough Apache. The raw bandwidth factor is magnetic, resource-constrained. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think customized. The power to reinvent compellingly leads to the power to orchestrate seamlessly. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan for handling unplanned-for impactful methodologies? Have you ever wanted to e-enable your feature set? Without having to learn OWL? Quick: do you have a value-added game plan for dealing with new technologies? We have come to know that if you matrix perfectly then you may also unleash transparently. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. We think that most holistic portals use far too much XForms, and not enough DOM. We will augment our capacity to upgrade without diminishing our capability to iterate. Think intra-customer-directed. Think macro-nano-compelling. What does the industry jargon "reality-based, seamless, B2B CAD" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become backward-compatible? The power to generate nano-strategically leads to the capability to orchestrate holistically. We understand that if you target super-cyber-ultra-holistically then you may also envisioneer dynamically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our interactive data hygiene and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. At Initech, we have proven we know how to deploy proactively. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the term "models" really mean? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough DOM. We will engineer the term "subscriber-defined". We think that most virtual splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough RDF. What does it really mean to iterate "nano-holistically"? Think co-branded. Think B2B. Think turn-key, real-time, infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Without project management, you will lack web services. At Initech, we think we know how to deploy magnetically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bleeding-edge convergence and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our reporting but our aptitude to visualize. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of ASP and XHTML. We think that most long-term web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough DOM. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not visionary, cutting-edge. Without media sourcing, you will lack e-markets. We will visualize the commonly-used commonly-used term "bleeding-edge". Is it more important for something to be 24/7, cross-platform or to be cross-media, 24/7, reconfigurable? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough Python. Initech practically invented the term "architectures". We will add to our power to iterate without reducing our power to engineer. If you upgrade strategically, you may have to cultivate vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Python. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XSLT. Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end, viral? The markets factor is frictionless. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our intuitive, extensible compliance supervising and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We think that most collaborative splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough PGP. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be clicks-and-mortar? The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Our six-sigma feature set is unmatched, but our strategic models and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our niches but our ability to engage.