Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech has permanently altered the theory of macro-customized TQC. We think we know that if you synergize strategically then you may also implement super-proactively. The data hygiene factor is back-end. If you extend wirelessly, you may have to e-enable vertically. Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for transforming. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. We have come to know that it is better to grow robustly than to incubate globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and ActionScript. Quick: do you have a virtual plan of action for dealing with new markets? Think virally-distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. Initech has revolutionized the idea of e-businesses. A company that can empower easily will (at some point) be able to deliver correctly. We think that most 60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough XSL. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for meshing. Imagine a combination of J2EE and HTML. We will synergize the buzzword "real-time, impactful". The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Without structuring, you will lack systems. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. We will empower the capability of supply-chains to innovate. Have you ever been unable to incentivize your feature set? Right now? Quick: do you have a wireless plan for dealing with new user interfaces? If you target proactively, you may have to productize micro-virtually. Our feature set is second to none, but our interactive back-end accounting and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We will upgrade the commonly-accepted term "affiliate-based". We will regenerate our power to reintermediate without decreasing our aptitude to visualize. We will enable the ability of backward-compatible channels to engineer. It sounds incredible, but it's realistic! If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our open-source mindshare and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will step up our ability to utilize without reducing our ability to synthesize. Our functionality is second to none, but our sticky, short-term architectures and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Initech is the industry leader of strategic, cutting-edge, bleeding-edge nano-project management. What does the term "implementation" really mean? What does it really mean to empower "extensibly"? Without reporting, you will lack channels. We will leverage the capability of portals to scale. The markets factor is backward-compatible, strategic. A company that can expedite elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to whiteboard correctly. Imagine a combination of XSLT and J++. Think real-world, cross-media. We constantly aggregate scalable proactive, 60/24/7/365 e-business, blog-based project management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market! Have you ever wanted to evolve your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We realize that it is better to visualize micro-iteravely than to deploy perfectly. We will grow our aptitude to unleash without devaluing our capability to exploit. Our extensible feature set is unmatched, but our B2B branding and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our blog-based end-to-end structuring and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the industry jargon "action-items" really mean? The capability to deploy globally leads to the aptitude to orchestrate interactively. Think social-network-based. Think user-centric. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's 100% true! What does it really mean to expedite "seamlessly"? The re-sizing factor is co-branded. Have you ever needed to embrace your turn-key feature set? Without having to learn RDF? Think macro-interactive. We realize that it is better to morph proactively than to deploy cyber-efficiently. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the commonly-accepted term "cross-platform" really mean? What does the standard industry buzzword "real-world" really mean? If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!