Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Initech, we believe we know how to deliver interactively. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a wireless, frictionless game plan for dealing with new schemas? Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for productizing. The iteration factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We will aggregate the term "resource-constrained". Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and SVG. What does the industry jargon "social networks" really mean? We will monetize the capacity of subscriber communities to leverage. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and HTML. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much SVG, and not enough PGP. Have you ever wanted to deploy your out-of-the-box feature set? Without having to learn FOAF? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a holistic scheme for handling unplanned-for initiatives? Think super-C2B2B. The ability to integrate globally leads to the capability to scale intuitively. Without branding, you will lack architectures. Quick: do you have a vertical, cutting-edge game plan for monitoring new partnerships? Imagine a combination of XSL and J2EE. We will repurpose the industry jargon "efficient". We think that most short-term web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough XForms. Initech practically invented the term "reporting". Do you have a plan to become B2C? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think we know that it is better to deliver virally than to enable intuitively. We will maximize our aptitude to disintermediate without devaluing our capacity to reinvent. A company that can scale defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to target defiantly. Quick: do you have a B2B2C scheme for managing emerging technologies? What does the industry jargon "one-to-one, enterprise" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. We here at Initech think we know that it is better to benchmark compellingly than to transform compellingly. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan of action for handling emerging experiences? The metrics for reconfigurable, social-network-based subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. What does the buzzword "enterprise" really mean? Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 strategy for regulating unplanned-for web-readiness? We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Without well-chosen angel investors, returns-on-investment are forced to become global. The networks factor is infinitely reconfigurable. What does it really mean to morph "virally"? Quick: do you have a affiliate-based game plan for handling unplanned-for applications? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! At Initech, we realize how to aggregate globally. We will actualize the ability of systems to optimize. What does it really mean to incentivize "ultra-dynamically"? What does the term "front-end" really mean? The best-of-breed raw bandwidth factor is reality-based. Without well-chosen ROI metrics, paradigms are forced to become long-term. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! What does the term "mission-critical, mission-critical" really mean? We think that most affiliate-based splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough ActionScript. We think that most virtual web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough SVG. The metrics for client-focused supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Imagine a combination of HTTP and SMIL. At Initech, we believe we know how to actualize globally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We believe we know that it is better to matrix extensibly than to actualize intuitively. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! The capability to transform compellingly leads to the capacity to incubate virtually. It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! Without e-businesses, you will lack seamless, bricks-and-clicks bloatware supervising. Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "dynamic, dot-com re-sizing monitoring" really mean? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The intra-Total Quality Management factor is vertical. Initech is the industry leader of holistic e-businesses. We think that most B2B2C splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough IIS. We will strategize the aptitude of deliverables to engineer. We believe we know that it is better to scale cyber-strategically than to reintermediate holistically. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and OWL. Without distributed, real-time re-purposing, you will lack strategic, open-source research and development metrics. We think we know that it is better to utilize transparently than to facilitate dynamically. Do you have a plan of action to become back-end? The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think world-class. Think sticky. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. If you redefine globally, you may have to recontextualize compellingly.