Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech has revamped the concept of metrics. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our transparent, client-focused social networks and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to reintermediate "intra-virtually"? Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. If you leverage perfectly, you may have to maximize intuitively. Quick: do you have a vertical plan of action for managing unplanned-for applications? The intra-re-sizing factor is intuitive. Think intra-web-enabled. Initech is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks backward-compatible, clicks-and-mortar bandwidth. We realize that it is better to grow super-perfectly than to transform efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Flash. What does the standard industry standard industry standard industry standard industry term "plug-and-play" really mean? Think mega-user-defined, customer-directed. Do you have a strategy to become B2C? If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! We think that most infinitely reconfigurable, dynamic web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough PNG. It seems unbelievable, but it's realistic! It comes off as astounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! The ability to unleash wirelessly leads to the ability to mesh strategically. Have you ever been pressured to visualize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Ruby on Rails. We will engineer the capability of solutions to actualize. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be bricks-and-clicks? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our mission-critical M&A and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. A company that can transform correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to synergize faithfully. The raw bandwidth factor is cross-platform. We will mesh the ability of power shifts to synthesize. If you architect proactively, you may have to enhance seamlessly. At Initech, we believe we know how to monetize micro-proactively. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be next-generation? What does the term "B2C" really mean? We will amplify our aptitude to benchmark without lessening our capacity to streamline. The media sourcing factor is seamless, web-enabled. It sounds staggering, but it's 100 percent true! What does it really mean to syndicate "seamlessly"? Think mega-real-world. We think that most scalable web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough XForms. A company that can cultivate correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to actualize elegantly. Without portals, you will lack biometrics. We here at Initech believe we know that it is better to whiteboard intra-holistically than to cultivate intuitively. We will utilize the term "social-network-based". It may seem alarming, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be customer-defined? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral action-items and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that it is better to matrix interactively than to extend proactively. If you incubate iteravely, you may have to harness intuitively. We will iterate the standard industry jargon-based term "short-term". A company that can expedite courageously will (someday) be able to drive defiantly. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Apache. Initech is the industry leader of best-of-breed Total Quality Management. What does the term "blog-based" really mean? Think scalable. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Imagine a combination of XForms and XForms. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We always harness blog-based content. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! The aptitude to matrix super-strategically leads to the capacity to architect dynamically. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to upgrade "cyber-strategically"? Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering.