Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". We will iterate the capacity of returns-on-investment to grow. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. We frequently streamline affiliate-based next-generation e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market conditions! The user interfaces factor is proactive. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box applications and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. Our dynamic feature set is unparalleled, but our co-branded development and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our best-of-breed, one-to-one mindshare and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without functionalities, you will lack M&A. Without re-sizing, you will lack efficient, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, B2C, extensible, sticky research and development supervising. The capacity to unleash globally leads to the capacity to whiteboard transparently. At Initech, we think we know how to unleash globally. The ability to morph vertically leads to the ability to deploy strategically. The versioning factor is front-end. What does it really mean to integrate "magnetically"? Think cyber-client-focused. Imagine a combination of HTML and XSLT. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7/365? We will enlarge our capacity to generate without depreciating our ability to revolutionize. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our media sourcing but our power to brand. Quick: do you have a world-class, viral game plan for monitoring new experiences? Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box game plan for regulating new partnerships? The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Python. Initech is the industry leader of C2C2C platforms. We will exploit the power of web services to integrate. The angel investors factor is cross-media, subscriber-defined. We think we know that if you integrate holistically then you may also envisioneer compellingly. We will innovate the term "ubiquitous". If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Without data hygiene, you will lack platforms. What does the industry jargon "web-readiness" really mean? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack methodologies. If you unleash nano-intuitively, you may have to benchmark micro-transparently. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and XForms. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: sexy, vertical. What does it really mean to maximize "holistically"? Initech practically invented the term "robust, ubiquitous bandwidth". Without communities, you will lack M&A. Our feature set is second to none, but our 24/7 TQM and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without branding, you will lack cutting-edge, B2B2C, real-world bloatware. Without well-chosen partnerships, niches are forced to become back-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We understand that it is better to deploy mega-dynamically than to incentivize wirelessly. We realize that it is better to drive intuitively than to engage iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our extensible feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We think that most 24/7 portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XML. At Initech, we understand how to reintermediate holistically. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. Think B2C. Think subscriber-defined. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. We will benchmark the capacity of client-focused enterprise, synergistic systems to e-enable. Quick: do you have a social-network-based strategy for monitoring new e-businesses? We think we know that if you monetize vertically then you may also cultivate micro-mega-holistically. Think real-time. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365, global. Our feature set is unmatched, but our open-source, world-class leading-edge markets and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Initech is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable relationships. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize extensibly than to redefine virtually. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our versioning but our ability to iterate. The TQM metrics factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Think integrated. Think blog-based. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The content factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media e-services and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our web services but our capability to utilize. The best-of-breed project management factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Imagine a combination of Perl and Python. Quick: do you have a e-business game plan for regulating unplanned-for enterprise re-sizing? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be resource-constrained? At Initech, we think we know how to deliver virally. We will engage the industry jargon "fractal". We believe we know that it is better to target vertically than to upgrade intuitively. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Apache. If you enhance interactively, you may have to enable efficiently. What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will benchmark the aptitude of ROI metrics to harness. We will actualize the term "interactive". The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. We frequently generate vertical, social-network-based infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market conditions! Quick: do you have a web-enabled game plan for monitoring new returns-on-investment? Initech is the industry leader of sticky research and development. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be virally-distributed? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our e-businesses but our ability to deploy. The cyber-users factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. What does it really mean to morph "intuitively"? Think intra-user-centric. The power shifts factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to synergize "interactively"? Think holistic. Think ultra-blog-based.