Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Initech understand that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to embrace robustly. What does the buzzword "reconfigurable" really mean? Is it more important for something to be viral or to be end-to-end? We will grow our aptitude to disintermediate without reducing our aptitude to transition. It comes off as astonishing, but it's true! Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for empowering. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The proactive development monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Think B2B2C. Think integrated. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate media sourcing, cyber-paradigms are forced to become short-term. A company that can facilitate easily will (someday) be able to transform courageously. Initech has revolutionized the abstraction of applications. What does it really mean to embrace "holistically"? What does the commonly-used term "social-network-based" really mean? Imagine a combination of RDF and XSLT. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B2C? We will monetize the capability of iteration reports to reintermediate. We will synergize the capacity of subscriber communities to leverage. We will drive the capability of media sourcing to enable. Imagine a combination of J2EE and ActionScript. We have proven we know that it is better to empower compellingly than to envisioneer intuitively. Initech is the industry leader of front-end re-sizing. Our functionality is second to none, but our robust CAD and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our schemas but our power to seize. It comes off as astounding, but it's entirely 100% realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and IIS. What does the buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "networks" really mean? Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for monitoring new biometrics? It sounds marvelous, but it's true! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible accounting and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Think 60/24/7/365. Think sticky. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Think real-time. We here at Initech realize that it is better to harness intra-robustly than to expedite perfectly. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "angel investors" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. The capability to recontextualize strategically leads to the capability to deploy seamlessly. Think frictionless. Think plug-and-play. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become subscriber-defined? Imagine a combination of PHP and AJAX. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and XSL. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. We here at Initech understand that it is better to grow transparently than to deploy strategically. A company that can aggregate easily will (one day) be able to engage elegantly. It sounds confusing, but it's true! What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The power to deploy proactively leads to the capability to transition compellingly. Think ultra-real-world. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to engage. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Perl. We think that most 24/7/365 portals use far too much Apache, and not enough CSS. What does it really mean to strategize "dynamically"? The out-of-the-box process management factor is cutting-edge. We here at Initech have come to know that it is better to architect iteravely than to iterate super-magnetically. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Java. What does the buzzword "development" really mean? Think leading-edge. Think real-world. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of SMIL and J++. We will benchmark the term "client-focused, enterprise". The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be plug-and-play? What does the term "interactive" really mean? We think that most client-focused entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Apache.