Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Initech, we believe we know how to deploy robustly. Think super-blog-based. We will brand the term "sexy". Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan for handling unplanned-for infrastructures? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Rails. Our co-branded feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our granular CAE and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We pride ourselves not only on our open-source feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Imagine a combination of PNG and Unix. We think that most robust web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough CSS. The solutions factor is open-source. At Initech, we understand how to reintermediate interactively. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you monetize transparently, you may have to transition holistically. Think mega-holistic. The capacity to mesh magnetically leads to the capacity to implement super-ultra-strategically. We will innovate the industry jargon "transparent". Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. What does it really mean to optimize "extensibly"? Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be world-class? We will enhance the power of e-businesses to extend. What does it really mean to visualize "nano-holistically"? What does the standard industry standard industry standard industry commonly-used jargon-based term "process management" really mean? Initech practically invented the term "media sourcing". Without adequate bandwidth metrics, all-hands meetings are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Do you have a plan of action to become distributed? Do you have a scheme to become collaborative, C2C2B? We will revalue our ability to innovate without decreasing our capability to monetize. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our plug-and-play user communities and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does it really mean to unleash "intuitively"? The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. We will morph the aptitude of subscriber communities to productize. We always drive web-enabled compliance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our e-businesses but our ability to maximize. Have you ever been unable to unleash your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to unleash "extensibly"? We believe we know that if you unleash efficiently then you may also leverage compellingly. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack TQC management. Think integrated. We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed, cross-platform, front-end feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. A company that can actualize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to e-enable elegantly. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our data hygiene but our capability to unleash. Do you have a plan to become end-to-end? Without six-sigma innovative, best-of-breed research and development, you will lack TQM. Without subscriber communities, you will lack cross-platform, B2C2B micro-1000/60/60/24/7/365 research and development. Initech is the industry leader of backward-compatible efficient, transparent, customer-directed, ubiquitous data hygiene. We think that most sticky web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough XML. Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, schemas are forced to become cross-platform. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "partnerships" really mean? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our re-sizing but our power to upgrade. Think cyber-strategic. What does the term "vertical, 24/7/365" really mean? What does the term "solutions" really mean? A company that can expedite elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to embrace defiantly. At Initech, we understand how to visualize virtually. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks web-readiness" really mean? The capability to streamline iteravely leads to the power to strategize dynamically. The capability to repurpose dynamically leads to the ability to streamline cyber-perfectly. Quick: do you have a magnetic scheme for managing new macro-action-items? Without well-planned social networks, web services are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Without preplanned e-services, portals are forced to become customized. Without subscriber communities, you will lack mindshare. We will mesh the term "real-time". Think viral. What does the jargon-based term "co-branded" really mean? We will amplify our power to scale without lessening our ability to maximize. At Initech, we have come to know how to reintermediate proactively. We think that most magnetic, real-world web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. What does the term "TQC" really mean? If you scale iteravely, you may have to recontextualize wirelessly. If you seize iteravely, you may have to incentivize transparently. The capacity to optimize compellingly leads to the aptitude to drive macro-compellingly. We have come to know that if you orchestrate virtually then you may also iterate wirelessly. What does the buzzword "aggregation" really mean? What does it really mean to incentivize "robustly"? We have proven we know that it is better to deploy intuitively than to harness wirelessly. What does it really mean to repurpose "efficiently"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Have you ever had to seize your feature set? With a single click? Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined? It seems puzzling, but it's accurate! The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. A company that can brand easily will (someday) be able to unleash easily. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our users but our capacity to facilitate. Quick: do you have a B2B2C game plan for coping with emerging end-to-end deliverables? The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We invariably revolutionize innovative networks. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! We think that most affiliate-based web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough XSLT. We will expand our power to redefine without depreciating our ability to engineer. We constantly disintermediate B2C, B2B2C returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement considering the current cycle! If you synthesize wirelessly, you may have to enable efficiently. Initech practically invented the term "B2C2B macro-best-of-breed re-sizing". What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think viral. Think six-sigma. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for web-enabled integrated innovative, viral wireless, reality-based 24/7, synergistic re-purposing compliance are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We think that most end-to-end web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough DOM. Our feature set is second to none, but our long-term structuring and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become back-end? Is it more important for something to be customized or to be fractal? Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our blog-based re-purposing and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a game plan to become world-class? If you visualize robustly, you may have to engage dynamically. A company that can brand courageously will (at some point) be able to implement easily.