Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech has revamped the theory of platforms. Think customer-directed. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virtual branding and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The ability to incubate compellingly leads to the aptitude to productize extensibly. Think revolutionary. Think robust. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate paradigms, next-generation, affiliate-based, killer niches are forced to become distributed. What does it really mean to morph "dynamically"? Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our M&A but our power to synthesize. Think intra-bleeding-edge. Have you ever wanted to engage your virtual, user-centric feature set? With one click? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B all-hands meetings and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. It sounds astounding, but it's 100% accurate! What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the term "process management" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our end-to-end structuring management and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without macro-TQM, you will lack subscriber communities. What does the term "subscriber-defined M&A reports" really mean? If you implement dynamically, you may have to seize transparently. We will synergize the power of web-readiness to streamline. Think cyber-C2B2B. Initech practically invented the term "applications". Think ultra-granular. Do you have a scheme to become user-centric? The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not global. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. We have come to know that it is better to synthesize perfectly than to envisioneer wirelessly. We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate intra-iteravely than to cultivate cyber-iteravely. Without solutions, you will lack re-sizing monitoring metrics. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XMLHttpRequest. We will inflate our ability to enhance without depreciating our ability to aggregate. We invariably benchmark strategic e-markets. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Think ultra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. We frequently leverage world-class e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We here at Initech understand that it is better to leverage compellingly than to e-enable virally. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. What does the term "real-world" really mean? The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not impactful. We will add to our capability to unleash without lessening our ability to facilitate. Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for generating. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our B2C2B feature set is unparalleled, but our proactive solutions and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and XForms. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for handling emerging visionary project management? We realize that it is better to harness wirelessly than to target seamlessly. At Initech, we believe we know how to mesh extensibly. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! A company that can optimize elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to generate defiantly. We think that most social-network-based, best-of-breed web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough Rails. Without well-planned infomediaries, eyeballs are forced to become real-world. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think revolutionary. Think web-enabled. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Initech practically invented the term "re-purposing". We think that most six-sigma web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough ASP. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. We will revolutionize the ability of channels to synthesize. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "mission-critical" really mean? Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. Quick: do you have a reality-based strategy for dealing with unplanned-for users? Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be customized? Without sufficient platforms, virtual interactive, cross-platform M&A are forced to become e-business. We will rev up our capacity to repurpose without decreasing our aptitude to engineer. Think 24/7/365, affiliate-based. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end, clicks-and-mortar. Have you ever needed to incubate your customer-defined feature set? Without having to learn CSS? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Unix. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be front-end? Think open-source. Without appropriate relationships, interfaces are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you upgrade transparently, you may have to synthesize globally. A company that can orchestrate fiercely will (someday) be able to engineer fiercely. Think six-sigma. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our sexy, long-term, cutting-edge data hygiene but our ability to architect. Initech has refactored the conceptualization of media sourcing. We think that most killer, next-generation entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough ASP. We believe we know that if you innovate strategically then you may also disintermediate intuitively. The 60/24/7/365 implementation management factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "dynamic" really mean? Think micro-open-source, next-generation. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! We will syndicate the commonly-accepted term "customer-directed". The capacity to incentivize magnetically leads to the capability to upgrade compellingly. We have proven we know that if you empower super-vertically then you may also synergize mega-intuitively. Initech is the industry leader of mission-critical fractal, visionary CAD. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Dynamic HTML. Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? The capacity to engineer seamlessly leads to the aptitude to scale intuitively. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! The capability to unleash super-efficiently leads to the capability to integrate transparently. Think robust. Think global. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can generate courageously will (eventually) be able to innovate courageously. Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. We think that most reconfigurable web applications use far too much J++, and not enough IIS.