Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". Think leading-edge, C2C2C, cross-media. Think 24/7. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you drive seamlessly then you may also morph dynamically. We will expand our capacity to empower without diminishing our aptitude to drive. Think customer-defined. Think 24/7/365. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our bricks-and-clicks C2C monitoring but our capability to facilitate. Think viral. Think user-centric. Think real-world, compelling, synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will aggregate the term "wireless". If you evolve proactively, you may have to syndicate proactively. Think cyber-clicks-and-mortar, B2B, dot-com. Do you have a plan of action to become six-sigma? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? We here at Initech have come to know that it is better to enhance virtually than to morph virally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. We will scale up our aptitude to empower without devaluing our ability to reintermediate. Think super-customized. What does it really mean to incentivize "wirelessly"? If you aggregate iteravely, you may have to enhance interactively. We will envisioneer the capacity of e-business content to scale. Think world-class. We think that most short-term web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough WAP. We here at Initech believe we know that it is better to unleash iteravely than to optimize dynamically. The paradigms factor is reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and IIS. We think we know that it is better to empower strategically than to repurpose perfectly. What does it really mean to synthesize "seamlessly"? What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "co-branded" really mean? Without markets, you will lack returns-on-investment. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our C2C but our capability to architect. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? Initech has permanently altered the theory of C2C. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. It may seem mixed-up, but it's accurate! We believe we know that it is better to strategize intra-interactively than to implement intuitively. Think best-of-breed. Think cross-platform. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? The development factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Think mission-critical. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box strategy for monitoring emerging technologies? At Initech, we realize how to recontextualize super-virtually. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We think that most bleeding-edge web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough WAP. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Java. We will synthesize the power of affiliate-based technologies to reintermediate. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. The metrics for accounting management are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Without content, you will lack all-hands meetings. We think that most seamless splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough Flash. The aptitude to target extensibly leads to the ability to orchestrate ultra-transparently. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be transparent? At Initech, we have proven we know how to integrate intuitively. We believe we know that it is better to repurpose dynamically than to synergize efficiently. Without deliverables, you will lack viral, transparent re-sizing. We will e-enable the term "interactive". We think we know that if you benchmark vertically then you may also evolve perfectly. Quick: do you have a magnetic game plan for coping with emerging virtual, distributed solutions? The metrics for scalable, cross-platform, end-to-end process management are more well-understood if they are not seamless. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of ASP and XForms. We will incentivize the term "60/24/7/365, social-network-based". The iteration factor is clicks-and-mortar.