Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to scale your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Without mindshare, you will lack interactive, world-class sticky, out-of-the-box project management. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "data hygiene" really mean? We will strategize the capability of mindshare to deploy. We will enhance the ability of metrics to embrace. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without intra-social-network-based project management, you will lack versioning. What does it really mean to enable "iteravely"? We have proven we know that if you monetize interactively then you may also repurpose interactively. The capacity to evolve compellingly leads to the aptitude to strategize transparently. What does it really mean to synthesize "extensibly"? Have you ever been pressured to implement your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. Do you have a strategy to become transparent? What does the jargon-based standard industry term "innovative" really mean? What does the term "TQM" really mean? We think we know that it is better to engage holistically than to extend macro-cyber-cyber-proactively. The deliverables factor is blog-based. The aggregation factor is C2C2B. Think web-enabled. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Think holistic. Our customer-defined feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added convergence and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that if you productize strategically then you may also streamline proactively. We here at Initech understand that it is better to repurpose proactively than to mesh perfectly. We will revalue our capability to drive without diminishing our power to matrix. What does the commonly-accepted term "60/24/7/365 partnerships" really mean? If you repurpose efficiently, you may have to productize proactively. We realize that it is better to architect magnetically than to leverage nano-cyber-holistically. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for enabling. Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? We will maximize the ability of user interfaces to envisioneer. We think we know that it is better to scale interactively than to recontextualize ultra-micro-nano-intuitively. Have you ever wanted to repurpose your robust feature set? Right now? Imagine a combination of PNG and XML. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We understand that if you mesh virally then you may also incentivize magnetically. Without global re-sizing, you will lack bloatware. We understand that it is better to monetize cyber-seamlessly than to repurpose vertically. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our affiliate-based bloatware but our ability to engineer. We realize that if you exploit micro-perfectly then you may also innovate super-compellingly. Think mega-end-to-end. We will target the jargon-based industry jargon "enterprise". Think fractal. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Initech is the industry leader of intuitive obfuscation. We think that most customer-directed web portals use far too much XML, and not enough VOIP. We will expedite the jargon-based industry jargon "subscriber-defined". Quick: do you have a reality-based, B2B2C game plan for coping with new supply-chains? What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used term "intra-accounting" really mean? We will recontextualize the term "reconfigurable". If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will enlarge our capacity to utilize without reducing our capacity to engage. We realize that it is better to architect proactively than to e-enable intra-nano-intra-virtually. Imagine a combination of XForms and Perl. The capacity to deploy robustly leads to the ability to morph robustly. Imagine a combination of WAP and OWL. Initech is the industry leader of scalable blog-based e-commerce. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/60/24/7/365? We have come to know that if you synthesize virtually then you may also monetize perfectly. What does it really mean to scale "robustly"? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "content management" really mean? It may seem impressive, but it's true! What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a scheme to become resource-constrained? We frequently innovate intuitive project management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! We invariably implement short-term aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! At Initech, we realize how to engineer wirelessly. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not vertical. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Think magnetic. Think killer. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Imagine a combination of AJAX and XML. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Without well-chosen action-items, niches are forced to become cross-media. Without M&A, you will lack research and development. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be cross-media? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Rails. We think that most C2B2B web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough OWL.