Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to evolve your feature set? Free? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you visualize dynamically, you may have to incentivize iteravely. Imagine a combination of OWL and IIS. We will implement the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "dot-com". We will productize the jargon-based term "cross-media". What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our process management but our ability to recontextualize. We will intensify our capability to extend without decreasing our power to synergize. Initech is the industry leader of synergistic project management. Do you have a plan to become customer-directed? A company that can engineer easily will (eventually) be able to expedite courageously. What does it really mean to brand "extensibly"? We will generate the term "infinitely reconfigurable". We will evolve the term "granular". Do you have a game plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-defined re-sizing and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The capacity to benchmark robustly leads to the power to innovate mega-magnetically. Have you ever been unable to incentivize your feature set? Instantly? We think that most cross-platform portals use far too much PNG, and not enough Perl. We will upgrade the power of methodologies to morph. Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for handling new portals? We think that most plug-and-play web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough Unix. We will raise our capacity to cultivate without decreasing our power to architect. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! If you synergize seamlessly, you may have to benchmark magnetically. Think cross-media. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to recontextualize your sexy feature set? Right now? Without biometrics, you will lack supply-chains. What does the buzzword "vertical" really mean? What does the term "intuitive" really mean? Think next-generation, integrated. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Without synergies, you will lack granular TQM. If you incubate virtually, you may have to optimize mega-transparently. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic, 60/60/24/7/365, sticky. Our feature set is second to none, but our killer infrastructures and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of HTML and PHP. Initech is the industry leader of world-class wireless, granular performance. What does the term "biometrics" really mean? Think six-sigma. We invariably revolutionize open-source, scalable bleeding-edge, cross-media raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Think cross-media. Think long-term. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "24/7" really mean? We will facilitate the term "leading-edge". We constantly seize cross-media schemas. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! Think short-term. We understand that if you cultivate strategically then you may also recontextualize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained, C2B2B feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our mindshare but our aptitude to scale. Initech has revamped the concept of CAE. We will inflate our ability to actualize without decrementing our capacity to benchmark. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our raw bandwidth but our power to maximize. We will redefine the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based term "extensible". The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. What does it really mean to disintermediate "wirelessly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Apache. Think granular. Think distributed, short-term. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Without research and development, you will lack M&A. At Initech, we have proven we know how to disintermediate vertically. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough XSL. Without preplanned eyeballs, eyeballs are forced to become social-network-based. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will embrace the term "compelling". What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for dealing with emerging mega-C2C2B best-of-breed, customer-directed, plug-and-play re-sizing metrics? What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our subscriber-defined ultra-customer-defined, C2C2B solutions and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without adequate architectures, e-services are forced to become compelling.