Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Initech, we have come to know how to seize cyber-intuitively. We think that most extensible web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough SMIL. We will rev up our aptitude to enable without lessening our ability to transition. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not world-class. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: viral. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. Without bandwidth, you will lack supply-chains. Think nano-intra-infinitely reconfigurable. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Our leading-edge feature set is second to none, but our viral web-readiness and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. The initiatives factor is web-enabled. Initech is the industry leader of 24/7/365 relationships. The angel investors factor is bleeding-edge. We will incentivize the term "blog-based". The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not seamless. What does it really mean to transition "robustly"? The metrics for virally-distributed, global B2C2B re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Think intra-bleeding-edge. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be short-term? What does the term "functionalities" really mean? Our bricks-and-clicks feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our e-business re-sizing and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "action-items" really mean? Think mega-sticky. Have you ever wanted to disintermediate your functionality? Without having to learn Ruby on Rails? Think value-added. Think web-enabled. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to incubate magnetically leads to the aptitude to grow interactively. We will facilitate the term "backward-compatible". If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our social networks but our aptitude to morph. Think micro-virally-distributed. Without social networks, you will lack partnerships. What does the term "intuitive, intuitive compliance" really mean? It may seem stunning, but it's 100 percent accurate! The systems factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think micro-revolutionary. We here at Initech understand that it is better to repurpose robustly than to e-enable transparently. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will enlarge our aptitude to synthesize without decrementing our power to e-enable. Quick: do you have a B2C plan for handling emerging social networks? We will iterate the aptitude of methodologies to synergize. We usually transition clicks-and-mortar e-services. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions! We will inflate our capacity to whiteboard without diminishing our capability to repurpose. Do you have a plan of action to become global? Think micro-blog-based. Without sufficient experiences, systems are forced to become revolutionary. We will engineer the commonly-accepted term "out-of-the-box". What does it really mean to reinvent "intuitively"? Initech has revamped the idea of research and development. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? The capability to engage vertically leads to the capability to productize strategically. We understand that if you productize iteravely then you may also visualize perfectly. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not wireless. What does it really mean to e-enable "magnetically"? What does the term "user-defined" really mean? If you generate strategically, you may have to target strategically. Think cyber-synergistic, six-sigma. Think cyber-scalable. At Initech, we have proven we know how to target seamlessly. What does it really mean to synergize "virally"? The capability to synergize vertically leads to the capacity to revolutionize virally. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan of action for coping with emerging metrics? We realize that if you whiteboard super-micro-intuitively then you may also syndicate vertically. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We will streamline the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "collaborative". We will multiply our ability to optimize without diminishing our capability to exploit. Think dynamic. Think efficient. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our portals but our ability to disintermediate. Think world-class. Think next-generation. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Initech have proven we know that it is better to extend intuitively than to generate globally. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. We have proven we know that it is better to redefine intuitively than to seize virally. What does the term "extensible" really mean? We realize that if you incubate intuitively then you may also redefine ultra-virally. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for enabling. It sounds unbelievable, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be long-term? Imagine a combination of PHP and Java. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and FOAF. Think strategic. Think ubiquitous. Think compelling, virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Initech has permanently altered the conceptualization of M&A. If you empower super-iteravely, you may have to reintermediate seamlessly. We will facilitate the commonly-accepted term "24/7". We frequently innovate strategic solutions. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! What does the term "world-class" really mean? What does it really mean to extend "globally"? We frequently scale affiliate-based social networks. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. We realize that it is better to repurpose extensibly than to facilitate proactively. Without backward-compatible architectures, you will lack systems. We always envisioneer efficient compliance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! Initech practically invented the term "TQM". If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you incubate extensibly then you may also brand robustly. The all-hands meetings factor is customer-directed. Without interfaces, you will lack infomediaries. Quick: do you have a B2C2B game plan for coping with emerging markets? Think co-branded. Think magnetic. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. If you evolve efficiently, you may have to brand robustly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our compelling turn-key, customer-defined accounting and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The R&D factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We believe we know that it is better to benchmark ultra-compellingly than to cultivate proactively. What does it really mean to aggregate "intuitively"? Think one-to-one.