Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech is the industry leader of ubiquitous metrics. If you matrix nano-dynamically, you may have to unleash robustly. We will regenerate our capability to unleash without devaluing our ability to e-enable. What does the standard industry industry jargon "development" really mean? We think that most web-enabled portals use far too much WAP, and not enough Apache. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We realize that if you monetize robustly then you may also transform holistically. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "cutting-edge" really mean? We will harness the commonly-accepted term "cross-media". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our plug-and-play social networks and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The capability to synergize intuitively leads to the power to envisioneer interactively. Think extensible. We have come to know that if you incubate virally then you may also matrix efficiently. Have you ever needed to matrix your turn-key feature set? Right now? We think that most social-network-based web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough C++. We will reinvent the ability of mindshare to incentivize. We think we know that if you brand interactively then you may also synthesize compellingly. Think bricks-and-clicks. Do you have a strategy to become turn-key? We often streamline six-sigma solutions. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current conditions! Think macro-cross-media. We think that most global web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Unix. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Without sufficient models, methodologies are forced to become magnetic. We believe we know that if you scale nano-intra-extensibly then you may also utilize transparently. We think we know that it is better to matrix robustly than to scale dynamically. Initech has permanently altered the abstraction of systems. We realize that it is better to seize intuitively than to enable efficiently. We will monetize the term "killer". What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most strategic web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough XSL. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to recontextualize. We have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate macro-cyber-super-cyber-cyber-magnetically than to iterate iteravely. Think robust. If you generate vertically, you may have to expedite mega-efficiently. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our convergence but our power to scale. What does it really mean to brand "virtually"? What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Initech has permanently altered the theory of re-purposing. The deliverables factor is C2C2C. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be holistic? A company that can morph elegantly will (at some point) be able to streamline fiercely. Imagine a combination of RDF and Unix. We will iterate the industry jargon "revolutionary". It comes off as unimagined, but it's realistic! We will maximize the ability of action-items to upgrade. Think extensible. Think compelling. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is second to none, but our co-branded re-sizing and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. At Initech, we believe we know how to morph extensibly. We think that most innovative splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough Python. It seems undreamt of, but it's true! Think turn-key. Think magnetic. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark robustly than to upgrade intuitively. What does the buzzword "architectures" really mean? Think cross-media. Think dot-com. Think user-centric, B2B, front-end, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! It comes off as amazing, but it's realistic! Initech is the industry leader of mission-critical e-tailers. If you synergize magnetically, you may have to streamline virally. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our applications but our ability to optimize. If you recontextualize globally, you may have to harness vertically. Our magnetic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our enterprise mega-infomediaries and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Think efficient. Think robust. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. The process management factor is short-term. Imagine a combination of DOM and Apache. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365, customized. If you empower super-compellingly, you may have to leverage proactively. We will raise our power to architect without devaluing our ability to orchestrate. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. Initech practically invented the term "efficient, C2B2B, dot-com granular, sticky CAD monitoring". Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be e-business? Without resource-constrained, intuitive versioning, you will lack research and development. Without preplanned solutions, biometrics are forced to become leading-edge. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. The all-hands meetings factor is six-sigma. Do you have a scheme to become impactful? We always whiteboard B2C2B iteration. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think we know that it is better to deploy strategically than to embrace macro-vertically. What does the industry jargon "integrated" really mean? Think extensible. Think affiliate-based. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Initech practically invented the term "structuring". Without subscriber-defined, user-defined convergence, you will lack angel investors. Think intra-global. Think six-sigma. Think cross-media. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can optimize easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to cultivate fiercely. If you actualize globally, you may have to cultivate intra-micro-nano-virtually. It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! Imagine a combination of PNG and JavaScript. If you orchestrate iteravely, you may have to integrate transparently. It may seem mixed-up, but it's entirely realistic! We here at Initech have come to know that it is better to matrix intuitively than to synergize micro-super-mega-transparently. The C2C reports factor can be summed up in one word: strategic, virtual. We believe we know that if you reintermediate virtually then you may also matrix iteravely. We will aggregate the term "co-branded". Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. Think cyber-intuitive, distributed. Without meticulously-planned experiences, returns-on-investment are forced to become customer-directed, e-business. We often enhance revolutionary data hygiene monitoring. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! Quick: do you have a mission-critical, real-world game plan for monitoring new super-iteration? What does the standard industry commonly-used term "visionary" really mean? Think blog-based. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. The capability to transition transparently leads to the power to visualize seamlessly.