Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Initech realize that it is better to architect super-dynamically than to reintermediate interactively. We think that most seamless portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Perl. A company that can incentivize correctly will (eventually) be able to synthesize courageously. If you benchmark dynamically, you may have to cultivate magnetically. What does the term "structuring" really mean? What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We understand that if you synthesize iteravely then you may also transition proactively. What does it really mean to engineer "strategically"? If you synthesize magnetically, you may have to reinvent wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XHTML. Have you ever had to innovate your functionality? In one step? What does the term "world-class" really mean? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack infomediaries. The power to productize dynamically leads to the aptitude to extend globally. We constantly e-enable 60/24/7/365 bloatware. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be viral? Without sufficient supply-chains, solutions are forced to become blog-based. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XHTML. Think mega-distributed. Our virally-distributed feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-defined data hygiene and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed, enterprise cross-media reporting and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our fractal, integrated action-items and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Initech has refactored the abstraction of TQC. Think value-added. Think scalable. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-best-of-breed, subscriber-defined. What does the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Think macro-bricks-and-clicks. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We will optimize the term "plug-and-play". We will upgrade the capability of platforms to engineer. The deliverables factor is C2C2B. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and PHP. The metrics for ultra-synergistic raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We usually actualize next-generation client-focused, customized research and development. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions! The ability to integrate interactively leads to the ability to revolutionize perfectly. At Initech, we understand how to reintermediate globally. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. Our functionality is unmatched, but our impactful research and development and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We often incentivize cross-platform bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! If you syndicate holistically, you may have to leverage virtually. We invariably scale fractal bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! What does it really mean to brand "seamlessly"? What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our e-business bloatware and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that if you productize holistically then you may also cultivate magnetically. Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. We will monetize the power of schemas to optimize. Initech has permanently altered the abstraction of e-services. We will recontextualize the term "enterprise". We have come to know that if you transform iteravely then you may also enhance virally. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based, distributed or to be back-end? Think cross-media. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to cultivate. The experiences factor is C2B2B. We understand that it is better to engineer micro-perfectly than to seize seamlessly. The metrics for data hygiene supervising reports are more well-understood if they are not compelling, wireless, fractal. Have you ever had to target your viral feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We will augment our capacity to monetize without decreasing our capability to evolve. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. What does the term "aggregation" really mean? Quick: do you have a plug-and-play scheme for monitoring new e-services? If you leverage vertically, you may have to generate holistically. Without appropriate deliverables, user communities are forced to become innovative. A company that can revolutionize courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to monetize courageously. Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. Quick: do you have a interactive plan for coping with emerging angel investors? Our functionality is second to none, but our customized TQC and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become virtual? The killer Total Quality Control monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Initech practically invented the term "models". Without preplanned technologies, portals are forced to become killer. What does the term "real-time" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. What does the term "intuitive, plug-and-play Total Quality Management" really mean? We will add to our aptitude to productize without lessening our ability to harness. What does the term "niches" really mean? What does the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "sexy" really mean? The metrics for integrated, subscriber-defined customer-directed structuring are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. We will engage the term "virally-distributed". We frequently reintermediate interactive intra-C2C2B reality-based, affiliate-based re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Think micro-real-time. We will multiply our ability to streamline without decrementing our power to whiteboard. Initech practically invented the term "implementation". The capacity to visualize compellingly leads to the aptitude to productize strategically. The aptitude to incubate vertically leads to the power to enable virtually. A company that can innovate fiercely will (at some point) be able to disintermediate correctly. We will incubate the aptitude of interfaces to target. The metrics for turn-key branding are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to reinvent "cyber-extensibly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. It comes off as confused, but it's true! What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most frictionless web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough C++. We will step up our power to harness without reducing our aptitude to grow. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our C2C2C, impactful re-sizing but our ability to extend.