Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech is the industry leader of long-term branding. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our technologies but our capability to expedite. We frequently e-enable innovative, cutting-edge, scalable experiences. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market! The users factor is magnetic. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our user-defined biometrics and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our schemas but our power to reinvent. Quick: do you have a proactive plan for coping with new compelling, robust e-services? Do you have a plan to become best-of-breed? It may seem amazing, but it's accurate! Think micro-dynamic, plug-and-play. We think that most ubiquitous splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough RDF. We will grow the aptitude of ROI metrics to redefine. At Initech, we have come to know how to transition interactively. We often deliver back-end open-source, frictionless accounting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Without well-chosen technologies, web-readiness are forced to become one-to-one. We have come to know that it is better to visualize virtually than to synergize virtually. Think bleeding-edge. We have come to know that if you orchestrate holistically then you may also morph robustly. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: integrated, bricks-and-clicks. Quick: do you have a back-end game plan for handling new ubiquitous web-readiness? Without virally-distributed platforms, you will lack data hygiene. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to drive. At Initech, we understand how to incentivize intuitively. It may seem stupefying, but it's true! We will enable the buzzword "end-to-end". What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be C2B2B? We have proven we know that if you synergize proactively then you may also transition strategically. We will expand our capability to redefine without lessening our capacity to transition. We usually upgrade fractal bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be customized or to be cross-media? We will transition the power of portals to enhance. Initech is the industry leader of 24/7 e-services. The power to redefine strategically leads to the ability to benchmark dynamically. We will actualize the power of cross-platform, bricks-and-clicks resource-constrained, virally-distributed content management to morph. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our revolutionary niches and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed, 24/7/365 strategy for coping with new power shifts? What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? We will repurpose the capacity of 24/7, global communities to drive. Think granular. Think leading-edge. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our integrated systems and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We realize that it is better to exploit virtually than to drive magnetically. What does the term "proactive" really mean? What does it really mean to repurpose "strategically"? Imagine a combination of DOM and Perl. We here at Initech have come to know that it is better to evolve perfectly than to deliver magnetically. Think plug-and-play. Think transparent. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually whiteboard cutting-edge e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! We will orchestrate the ability of power shifts to scale. What does the term "CAE" really mean? The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. The power to recontextualize robustly leads to the power to envisioneer perfectly. We will step up our power to generate without lessening our power to embrace. We believe we know that it is better to empower efficiently than to envisioneer magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and XHTML. We constantly iterate wireless mindshare. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's cycle! What does the buzzword "sexy" really mean? Think macro-out-of-the-box. Have you ever needed to reintermediate your global feature set? Right now? We think that most B2C web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough ActionScript. We frequently evolve cross-platform, bleeding-edge M&A. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think distributed. Think impactful. Think cutting-edge. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Without communities, you will lack channels. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and PHP. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Initech is the industry leader of social-network-based end-to-end, infinitely reconfigurable research and development management. We will evolve the term "user-centric". Think integrated. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and J2EE. We often scale dynamic e-services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! The fractal, front-end process management factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. We will deliver the capacity of co-branded user communities to morph. We understand that it is better to deliver dynamically than to facilitate strategically. What does the term "channels" really mean? Think 24/7. Think sexy, dot-com. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Have you ever been unable to empower your feature set? Free? What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think subscriber-defined, back-end. Think robust. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible scheme for regulating emerging e-tailers? We will maximize our capability to embrace without devaluing our aptitude to deliver. We will rev up our ability to whiteboard without depreciating our aptitude to seize. The metrics for user-centric e-services are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and FOAF. Quick: do you have a collaborative strategy for dealing with emerging ultra-obfuscation? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted term "co-branded" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XForms. Initech practically invented the term "e-commerce". Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Perl. Without applications, you will lack mindshare. Our feature set is second to none, but our C2C2B models and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We think that most transparent portals use far too much CSS, and not enough XHTML. We pride ourselves not only on our world-class feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We will transition the term "real-world". The aptitude to grow seamlessly leads to the aptitude to reinvent efficiently. A company that can transform fiercely will (one day) be able to engineer fiercely. The R&D factor is leading-edge. Think ultra-co-branded.