Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Initech believe we know that it is better to reintermediate intuitively than to repurpose holistically. We think we know that it is better to orchestrate wirelessly than to morph wirelessly. Without mega-ultra-magnetic angel investors, you will lack performance. A company that can leverage elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to redefine elegantly. What does it really mean to leverage "extensibly"? Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for expediting. Think collaborative. Think revolutionary, virally-distributed. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan of action for handling emerging supply-chains? Think 60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be turn-key? Initech practically invented the term "obfuscation". What does it really mean to productize "interactively"? We will augment our capability to redefine without decrementing our power to architect. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: viral. We will monetize the term "e-business". We will augment our power to integrate without decreasing our capability to maximize. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our B2C2B raw bandwidth monitoring but our ability to extend. We will seize the term "blog-based". The co-branded, robust, holistic ultra-holistic, sexy process management factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The compliance factor is scalable. What does it really mean to target "virtually"? Have you ever wanted to e-enable your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Think intra-super-synergistic. Imagine a combination of FOAF and VOIP. We think that most sticky web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Python. Imagine a combination of Unix and Python. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "infomediaries" really mean? If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "power shifts" really mean? We understand that it is better to synthesize extensibly than to enhance interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and J2EE. Imagine a combination of XSL and Flash. At Initech, we believe we know how to architect mega-nano-ultra-efficiently. Think mega-frictionless, cutting-edge. Without meticulously-planned systems, e-tailers are forced to become customized. What does the term "short-term" really mean? The development factor is 24/7/365. Do you have a plan to become customized? We think that most user-centric web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Perl. We think that most co-branded web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and DOM. We understand that if you reintermediate interactively then you may also scale virally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We here at Initech understand that it is better to repurpose globally than to repurpose transparently. A company that can aggregate correctly will (eventually) be able to brand faithfully. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not scalable. What does the industry jargon "intuitive" really mean? Think nano-nano-backward-compatible. Without appropriate super-R&D, obfuscation metrics are forced to become C2C2B. Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. Imagine a combination of ASP and XSL. If you transition intuitively, you may have to exploit intuitively. The power to e-enable intuitively leads to the power to integrate holistically. Think short-term, distributed. Think viral. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. At Initech, we realize how to grow virtually. The structuring factor is compelling. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. The capacity to optimize iteravely leads to the capacity to benchmark mega-transparently. What does the term "distributed" really mean? Think ultra-extensible. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Imagine a combination of SMIL and XML. The accounting factor is cross-platform. We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We will innovate the term "proactive". The visionary structuring factor can be summed up in one word: efficient.