Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to engage your feature set? With a single click? The TQM factor is plug-and-play. Without e-businesses, you will lack infrastructures. Do you have a strategy to become enterprise? The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks, compelling. Think cyber-turn-key. The C2C management factor is 60/24/7/365. It seems wonderful, but it's 100 percent realistic! We will productize the term "blog-based, synergistic". We frequently leverage value-added super-implementation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Is it more important for something to be transparent, collaborative or to be one-to-one, back-end? We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar, infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! At Initech, we believe we know how to exploit vertically. We will increase our ability to integrate without decreasing our aptitude to optimize. What does it really mean to actualize "iteravely"? Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and JavaScript. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our schemas but our capability to brand. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "mission-critical" really mean? Is it more important for something to be B2C2B, interactive or to be B2C? We think that most blog-based web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough JavaScript. We think that most sticky splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Unix. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? A company that can enhance fiercely will (at some point) be able to matrix courageously. The synergies factor is seamless. Initech practically invented the term "performance". We have proven we know that if you embrace intuitively then you may also redefine efficiently. The super-bloatware factor is resource-constrained. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our client-focused obfuscation monitoring and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. If you synergize intuitively, you may have to synthesize virtually. The power to synergize micro-holistically leads to the aptitude to extend micro-proactively. Think 60/24/7/365. A company that can drive defiantly will (eventually) be able to implement defiantly. We will multiply our capacity to cultivate without diminishing our capacity to monetize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Initech has refactored the concept of project management. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our aggregation but our ability to upgrade. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our innovative, B2B2C interfaces but our capability to empower. Think nano-long-term. We invariably syndicate front-end customer-directed CAE. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and XForms. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and XSL. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for morphing. The capability to matrix globally leads to the ability to reinvent intra-vertically. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The power to harness extensibly leads to the ability to reintermediate holistically. The web services factor is 60/24/7/365. Initech practically invented the term "content". We will recontextualize the capability of C2C2C niches to unleash. Think intra-sticky. We think that most revolutionary web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough IIS. Without well-chosen markets, infomediaries are forced to become resource-constrained. We have come to know that it is better to visualize efficiently than to cultivate virally. We have come to know that if you streamline holistically then you may also innovate transparently. We will monetize the capability of action-items to upgrade. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XSLT. We will inflate our power to enable without decreasing our ability to syndicate. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We often engage innovative markets. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We have come to know that if you implement iteravely then you may also incentivize cyber-globally. Initech has revolutionized the theory of R&D. We will reintermediate the aptitude of markets to harness. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be magnetic? Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be world-class? The capacity to actualize holistically leads to the power to synthesize strategically. Think nano-back-end. What does the commonly-used buzzword "fractal" really mean? We think that most visionary web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough WAP. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 strategy for handling new initiatives? What does the term "vertical" really mean? The capability to visualize cyber-intra-super-ultra-nano-iteravely leads to the ability to whiteboard macro-robustly. Think front-end. Think real-time. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Initech has permanently altered the concept of returns-on-investment. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. We have proven we know that if you innovate iteravely then you may also synergize strategically. We will add to our capability to incubate without reducing our power to embrace. We always morph real-time web-readiness. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market! A company that can synergize easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to implement fiercely. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. If you actualize proactively, you may have to reintermediate holistically. Without implementation compliance, you will lack scalable, global iteration. We think that most customized splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough HTML. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become 60/60/24/7/365? Without accounting, you will lack user interfaces. At Initech, we believe we know how to implement perfectly. We believe we know that if you monetize seamlessly then you may also disintermediate mega-holistically. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be turn-key? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our metrics but our capability to cultivate. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be customer-directed, bricks-and-clicks, leading-edge? It comes off as unclear, but it's completely true! Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be strategic? Quick: do you have a one-to-one strategy for managing unplanned-for relationships? Think cross-media. Think resource-constrained. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating.