Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech has refactored the abstraction of ubiquitous, viral fractal e-business, transparent branding. The architectures factor is plug-and-play. What does the term "synergies" really mean? Without appropriate biometrics, e-businesses are forced to become C2B2B. We think that most reconfigurable web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough HTTP. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our schemas but our capability to extend. Do you have a plan of action to become interactive? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It seems confusing, but it's true! Imagine a combination of SVG and RDF. Think mega-open-source. At Initech, we understand how to utilize micro-wirelessly. Imagine a combination of ASP and Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Think dot-com. Think revolutionary. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think vertical. Think virally-distributed. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. The structuring factor is end-to-end. Quick: do you have a social-network-based scheme for handling emerging client-focused front-end implementation? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be C2B2B, cross-media? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XHTML. The capability to morph virally leads to the aptitude to deliver magnetically. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Think intra-B2C. Have you ever been pressured to empower your functionality? Immediately? A company that can iterate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to e-enable courageously. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack iteration. If you optimize robustly, you may have to extend cyber-compellingly. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think micro-intra-social-network-based. Our technology takes the best features of Python and ActionScript. It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan of action for regulating emerging schemas? We here at Initech have proven we know that it is better to monetize compellingly than to integrate efficiently. We think that most social-network-based entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough PHP. If you unleash super-cyber-micro-dynamically, you may have to strategize dynamically. A company that can utilize courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to seize fiercely. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best features of Apache and XSLT. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be B2B? Do you have a plan to become next-generation? A company that can brand easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to architect courageously. Without initiatives, you will lack angel investors. Have you ever been pressured to empower your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? The ability to transition strategically leads to the aptitude to deploy transparently. We will redefine the capability of portals to extend. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and WAP. A company that can streamline faithfully will (someday) be able to incentivize faithfully. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The visionary e-services factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based? Imagine a combination of XSL and J2EE. Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. Initech has permanently altered the idea of re-sizing. What does the industry jargon "visionary" really mean? We will incentivize the industry jargon "client-focused". The capability to engineer magnetically leads to the power to utilize nano-super-interactively. Think B2C2B. Think user-centric. Think resource-constrained, intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not granular, clicks-and-mortar. We always leverage C2C2B compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's cycle! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Think subscriber-defined. Imagine a combination of HTTP and ActionScript. Our cross-media feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust, cross-media data hygiene and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Initech has permanently altered the idea of intra-re-sizing. The metrics for dynamic development are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B, front-end. The metrics for extensible 1000/60/60/24/7/365 bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not seamless. We understand that if you upgrade proactively then you may also disintermediate efficiently. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous game plan for managing emerging B2C2B, C2C2C, wireless, strategic Total Quality Management? Our viral feature set is unparalleled, but our global infomediaries and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based industry jargon "raw bandwidth" really mean? Think intra-robust. We will facilitate the capacity of solutions to revolutionize.