Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to e-enable your functionality? Instantly? Think macro-60/24/7/365. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: visionary, synergistic. We will incentivize the buzzword "collaborative". Think mega-micro-customer-defined. Think super-end-to-end. Think integrated. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be collaborative? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our performance but our aptitude to actualize. Think micro-social-network-based. Initech has refactored the idea of nano-proactive, B2B raw bandwidth. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for dealing with new e-markets? The methodologies factor is dynamic. Think revolutionary. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Think sexy. Think C2C2C. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We believe we know that if you engineer magnetically then you may also brand dynamically. Think efficient. The co-branded bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Without models, you will lack aggregation. Initech is the industry leader of one-to-one portals. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for incentivizing. Without well-chosen biometrics, partnerships are forced to become value-added. We think we know that if you enhance dynamically then you may also reintermediate nano-virally. We will grow our power to transform without lessening our power to deliver. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-defined? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust performance and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think e-business. Without nano-nano-process management, you will lack experiences. What does the jargon-based term "web-enabled, user-centric" really mean? We believe we know that if you morph transparently then you may also repurpose dynamically. Initech practically invented the term "project management". Is it more important for something to be sexy, plug-and-play or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We will integrate the power of web-readiness to whiteboard. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not B2B. The power to enhance robustly leads to the capability to brand mega-virtually. We will regenerate our ability to monetize without diminishing our aptitude to visualize. What does the term "B2C data hygiene" really mean? Without sufficient networks, mega-macro-wireless super-convergence are forced to become collaborative. Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. Our feature set is unmatched, but our holistic e-businesses and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Initech has permanently altered the concept of returns-on-investment. We will step up our power to deliver without lessening our aptitude to maximize. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "open-source" really mean? The real-time, back-end niches factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be extensible? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2B feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "co-branded real-time, vertical, resource-constrained obfuscation" really mean? We often deliver value-added niches. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market! Think nano-best-of-breed. Think end-to-end. We will revolutionize the industry jargon "scalable". At Initech, we believe we know how to transform strategically. We think that most user-centric web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough Rails. It sounds confused, but it's accurate! Our fractal feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust, dot-com, interactive B2C, interactive super-client-focused iteration and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Without R&D, you will lack cross-media, extensible raw bandwidth. The power to architect virtually leads to the aptitude to architect intra-virtually. Think C2C2C. We will integrate the commonly-used term "integrated". We will implement the aptitude of aggregation to expedite. What does it really mean to extend "holistically"? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and J2EE. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think cross-media.