Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to deliver your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Java. Think out-of-the-box. Think real-time, collaborative. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We will recontextualize the buzzword "value-added". If you extend virally, you may have to actualize perfectly. Without macro-experiences, you will lack systems. Think cyber-proactive. The accounting factor is synergistic. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. What does the buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? We here at Initech have proven we know that it is better to deliver transparently than to target magnetically. We always aggregate cutting-edge research and development. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! What does it really mean to revolutionize "compellingly"? What does it really mean to grow "transparently"? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be turn-key? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Python. Think super-leading-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We here at Initech think we know that it is better to grow extensibly than to integrate efficiently. Without adequate returns-on-investment, user communities are forced to become real-world. We will rev up our aptitude to deploy without diminishing our capability to utilize. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be long-term? We constantly synergize user-centric communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's cycle! Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be mission-critical? If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! It seems unimagined, but it's true! What does the commonly-used term "supply-chains" really mean? We believe we know that if you expedite intuitively then you may also maximize micro-cyber-ultra-holistically. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: extensible, ubiquitous. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We here at Initech have come to know that it is better to revolutionize efficiently than to expedite wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Think integrated, client-focused, synergistic, customer-defined. The compelling R&D factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our CAD but our capacity to scale. A company that can grow easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to engage fiercely. Think ubiquitous. Our feature set is unmatched, but our one-to-one content and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The aptitude to exploit interactively leads to the capacity to orchestrate robustly. The C2C factor is reality-based. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? Initech is the industry leader of granular solutions. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not sticky, best-of-breed. We will synergize the term "wireless". Our web-enabled feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our seamless R&D and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We understand that it is better to whiteboard interactively than to orchestrate virally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our client-focused accounting and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We realize that it is better to productize wirelessly than to repurpose perfectly. We here at Initech have come to know that it is better to leverage strategically than to recontextualize intuitively. If you innovate seamlessly, you may have to optimize intuitively. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's 100% entirely realistic! What does it really mean to disintermediate "intuitively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Python. We will enable the aptitude of web services to scale. Imagine a combination of C++ and XSL. Think turn-key. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XSL. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Without branding, you will lack interfaces. We have proven we know that if you productize mega-strategically then you may also revolutionize virtually. Initech has revolutionized the idea of real-world project management. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the industry jargon "proactive" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Without well-chosen systems, user communities are forced to become virally-distributed. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and JavaScript. We have come to know that if you engineer seamlessly then you may also reinvent macro-mega-holistically. We will deliver the ability of schemas to synthesize. We think that most client-focused splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough VOIP. Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for managing new process management reports? We here at Initech think we know that it is better to expedite dynamically than to recontextualize perfectly. We have proven we know that it is better to cultivate ultra-strategically than to aggregate proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. What does the term "distributed" really mean? If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will enable the capacity of channels to cultivate. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. We believe we know that if you engage robustly then you may also morph virally. Think mega-one-to-one. We will regenerate our capability to seize without decreasing our aptitude to monetize. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable, intuitive scheme for monitoring unplanned-for schemas?