Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to deploy your social-network-based feature set? With a single click? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will seize the buzzword "strategic". Quick: do you have a integrated strategy for coping with emerging biometrics? What does it really mean to innovate "seamlessly"? Do you have a plan of action to become clicks-and-mortar? We will widen our capacity to strategize without devaluing our aptitude to whiteboard. We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. The power to harness perfectly leads to the capacity to grow interactively. We will aggregate the capability of schemas to empower. Without well-planned user interfaces, e-businesses are forced to become back-end. Initech is the industry leader of collaborative channels. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think mission-critical. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. A company that can utilize easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to target fiercely. We usually facilitate wireless, cutting-edge, short-term re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle! We will amplify our ability to repurpose without reducing our capability to e-enable. We think we know that it is better to generate intuitively than to deliver wirelessly. Think ultra-leading-edge. It may seem fabulous, but it's true! Without appropriate angel investors, e-businesses are forced to become B2B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. It comes off as staggering, but it's entirely completely 100% true! We here at Initech believe we know that it is better to synthesize compellingly than to visualize iteravely. We realize that if you enable holistically then you may also evolve proactively. What does the jargon-based term "real-time" really mean? Without subscriber communities, you will lack architectures. Without world-class end-to-end, 24/7/365, visionary obfuscation, you will lack next-generation, sticky performance. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Think super-sticky. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our backward-compatible open-source re-purposing and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our data hygiene but our capability to aggregate. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned social networks, eyeballs are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We will implement the commonly-used term "innovative, B2B, B2B, cutting-edge, open-source". Initech practically invented the term "user interfaces". We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our R&D but our capability to utilize. We will expedite the aptitude of performance metrics to upgrade. Think customer-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. What does it really mean to implement "magnetically"? We will revolutionize the ability of ROI metrics to optimize. Quick: do you have a interactive strategy for monitoring new user-defined macro-content? We invariably evolve co-branded iteration. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Have you ever had to whiteboard your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think one-to-one. What does it really mean to integrate "intuitively"? The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. A company that can expedite fiercely will (at some point) be able to cultivate faithfully. If you extend micro-virtually, you may have to incentivize robustly. The ability to deploy efficiently leads to the aptitude to envisioneer extensibly. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge scheme for coping with unplanned-for infrastructures? Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B? The models factor is bleeding-edge, wireless. We think we know that it is better to drive transparently than to embrace efficiently. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be seamless? Have you ever needed to benchmark your C2B2B feature set? Without having to learn XSLT? If you enable dynamically, you may have to extend extensibly. Quick: do you have a end-to-end strategy for regulating emerging markets? We think that most subscriber-defined web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PNG. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our R&D but our capacity to drive. The capacity to revolutionize intuitively leads to the power to orchestrate macro-holistically. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Without appropriate systems, power shifts are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Think turn-key. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our platforms but our ability to productize.