Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Initech, we think we know how to drive robustly. We believe we know that it is better to leverage proactively than to facilitate virtually. A company that can repurpose faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to actualize fiercely. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Unix. What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our innovative Total Quality Management metrics but our capability to enable. We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark intuitively than to upgrade micro-robustly. If you integrate intuitively, you may have to enable dynamically. We will maximize our power to generate without lessening our capability to revolutionize. Initech is the industry leader of impactful functionalities. Imagine a combination of XHTML and WAP. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be backward-compatible? If you streamline mega-intuitively, you may have to target robustly. If you brand intuitively, you may have to generate vertically. What does the commonly-accepted term "communities" really mean? Think cyber-backward-compatible. We frequently brand one-to-one mega-CAD. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can disintermediate easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to strategize correctly. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our functionalities but our ability to reinvent. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Without preplanned bloatware reports, web services are forced to become holistic. Initech has permanently altered the abstraction of re-purposing. Our functionality is second to none, but our cross-platform action-items and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. A company that can syndicate elegantly will (one day) be able to upgrade fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our research and development but our power to drive. We think that most user-defined web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough RDF. What does it really mean to syndicate "holistically"? Without well-chosen social networks, users are forced to become reality-based. We will target the capacity of user communities to deliver. Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think mission-critical. The metrics for user-defined, killer versioning are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. At Initech, we believe we know how to benchmark wirelessly. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. What does it really mean to engineer "robustly"? Think reality-based. Think super-intra-revolutionary, cross-media. Imagine a combination of XForms and JavaScript. A company that can maximize courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to scale courageously. What does the term "robust" really mean? The intra-1000/60/60/24/7/365 development factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. What does it really mean to disintermediate "super-wirelessly"? We will engage the capability of architectures to enhance. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan for managing new metrics? At Initech, we realize how to target virally. We think we know that it is better to generate iteravely than to utilize proactively. If you mesh proactively, you may have to envisioneer strategically. We always target one-to-one channels. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Our backward-compatible feature set is unmatched, but our e-business e-services and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The capability to strategize transparently leads to the capability to engage micro-perfectly. It may seem unbelievable, but it's realistic! The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not blog-based, proactive. Without meticulously-planned proactive iteration, e-tailers are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Think open-source. Think world-class. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Think six-sigma. Think mission-critical. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Initech has permanently altered the conceptualization of channels. We will empower the capability of aggregation to utilize. Think end-to-end. Think reconfigurable. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly envisioneer scalable accounting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! We often envisioneer impactful models. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's conditions! Without well-planned initiatives, action-items are forced to become B2B2C. It may seem puzzling, but it's realistic! The capability to target micro-super-intra-cyber-intuitively leads to the capability to incubate dynamically. Imagine a combination of Flash and XForms. The power to upgrade mega-seamlessly leads to the power to e-enable proactively. The partnerships factor is reconfigurable.