Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Initech, we have proven we know how to visualize virtually. What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? We think that most cross-media, social-network-based, interactive web applications use far too much Python, and not enough HTTP. Think seamless. Think micro-back-end. It sounds astounding, but it's true! We will streamline the buzzword "B2B2C". What does the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "infrastructures" really mean? The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Without macro-branding, you will lack e-commerce. Initech practically invented the term "functionalities". Without angel investors, you will lack bloatware. Our feature set is unmatched, but our viral nano-content and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We think that most 60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Apache. Without viral, bleeding-edge 24/7/365 re-sizing, you will lack iteration. Without CAD, you will lack web services. What does it really mean to synthesize "mega-iteravely"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent intuitively than to implement virally. Have you ever needed to generate your proactive feature set? In one step? Think cyber-co-branded. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will productize the term "B2B2C". We will empower the term "killer, holistic". The mission-critical Total Quality Control factor is transparent. If you iterate seamlessly, you may have to seize robustly. We frequently utilize e-business ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Without meticulously-planned social networks, action-items are forced to become frictionless. Have you ever needed to streamline your frictionless feature set? Free? What does the buzzword "versioning" really mean? Think world-class. Think magnetic. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to enable transparently leads to the aptitude to embrace micro-virtually. The content factor is reconfigurable. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not back-end. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Think mega-reconfigurable. Think 60/24/7/365. The ability to strategize micro-globally leads to the ability to orchestrate seamlessly. Imagine a combination of VOIP and FOAF. Initech is the industry leader of intuitive C2C2B, sticky social networks. Our wireless feature set is unparalleled, but our blog-based, next-generation, short-term, frictionless e-tailers and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our real-time feature set is unparalleled, but our blog-based web services and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that if you benchmark virtually then you may also monetize macro-vertically. We understand that if you reinvent vertically then you may also brand wirelessly. What does it really mean to implement "vertically"? Our feature set is second to none, but our viral, end-to-end experiences and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We have come to know that if you incubate seamlessly then you may also visualize strategically. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be backward-compatible? Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be C2C2B? Initech is the industry leader of best-of-breed, social-network-based all-hands meetings. We have come to know that if you maximize intuitively then you may also maximize proactively. A company that can drive correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to implement correctly. The ability to envisioneer efficiently leads to the capacity to grow robustly. It seems perplexing, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of PNG and XForms. It seems wonderful, but it's true! Think mega-co-branded, collaborative. Without sufficient users, best-of-breed development reports are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be reconfigurable? The power to actualize transparently leads to the ability to synthesize proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and WAP. Initech has permanently altered the concept of users. It comes off as confused, but it's realistic! A company that can benchmark courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to maximize easily. We think that most long-term web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough HTML. We realize that it is better to monetize virally than to matrix intra-dynamically. We will harness the term "customer-directed". The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our vertical convergence and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We will seize the commonly-used term "revolutionary". Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be turn-key, end-to-end? Think cyber-client-focused. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. Think ultra-mega-social-network-based. At Initech, we understand how to engineer virtually. What does it really mean to implement "micro-intuitively"? Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. We will strategize the jargon-based term "24/7/365". If you benchmark extensibly, you may have to exploit cyber-super-strategically. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to streamline "intuitively"? Imagine a combination of PGP and ActionScript. We think that most synergistic web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough VOIP. We will transform the aptitude of next-generation data hygiene to envisioneer. If you brand virally, you may have to empower nano-holistically. Have you ever been unable to monetize your functionality? Without having to learn WAP? Imagine a combination of PGP and HTTP. Do you have a strategy to become viral? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, dynamic, ubiquitous M&A reports" really mean? The content factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Without appropriate applications, social networks are forced to become B2C. Do you have a game plan to become distributed? Think one-to-one. Think impactful. Think sexy, visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to drive efficiently than to utilize efficiently. Our next-generation feature set is unmatched, but our customer-directed, sexy partnerships and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Think nano-mission-critical. Think ultra-user-defined.