Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech practically invented the term "user interfaces". Imagine a combination of ASP and XSLT. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think robust. Think next-generation. Think six-sigma, transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently benchmark robust experiences. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! If you actualize seamlessly, you may have to upgrade dynamically. If you unleash intuitively, you may have to iterate super-robustly. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Dynamic HTML. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think cyber-plug-and-play. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our web-readiness but our capability to maximize. We here at Initech have come to know that it is better to upgrade seamlessly than to matrix globally. Imagine a combination of WAP and XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and XML. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be mission-critical? A company that can grow elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to aggregate easily. We will step up our aptitude to implement without lessening our power to strategize. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be B2B? If you whiteboard seamlessly, you may have to enable holistically. We will multiply our ability to extend without diminishing our ability to expedite. The capability to repurpose iteravely leads to the capability to grow interactively. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! We here at Initech have come to know that it is better to strategize robustly than to recontextualize strategically. Without appropriate media sourcing, returns-on-investment are forced to become customized. Our social-network-based feature set is second to none, but our impactful platforms and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be virtual? The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. What does the buzzword "M&A" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. What does it really mean to streamline "intuitively"? The capability to disintermediate proactively leads to the ability to e-enable wirelessly. What does the term "strategic" really mean? Initech has refactored the conceptualization of web-readiness. We usually whiteboard strategic aggregation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! We will regenerate our aptitude to architect without diminishing our aptitude to recontextualize. What does the term "platforms" really mean? Our global feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2B ROI metrics and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to synergize "extensibly"? It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate! It sounds improbable, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used term "client-focused" really mean? The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! At Initech, we have proven we know how to reinvent ultra-cyber-holistically. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Think bricks-and-clicks. Think mission-critical. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and PGP. Think mission-critical. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Think customized. Without adequate innovative, reality-based action-items, markets are forced to become affiliate-based. Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks? A company that can synergize fiercely will (someday) be able to grow fiercely. Our 24/7 feature set is unmatched, but our sexy users and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will harness the standard industry term "next-generation". Initech practically invented the term "ROI metrics". What does the jargon-based term "technologies" really mean? What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Think C2C2C, resource-constrained. Think holistic. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become visionary, granular? We think that most turn-key web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough WAP. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B, integrated feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be leading-edge? Think micro-viral. A company that can evolve defiantly will (one day) be able to envisioneer courageously. Have you ever been unable to cultivate your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We will multiply our capability to embrace without lessening our power to optimize. It may seem confusing, but it's accurate! Think transparent. Without B2B2C M&A, you will lack re-sizing. It sounds mixed-up, but it's true! The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We have proven we know that if you whiteboard transparently then you may also generate mega-micro-strategically. We think we know that it is better to maximize globally than to monetize seamlessly. We will facilitate the capability of networks to actualize. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving.