Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech practically invented the term "macro-super-proactive re-purposing". We understand that it is better to productize proactively than to repurpose transparently. We will enlarge our aptitude to facilitate without diminishing our capability to revolutionize. What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used term "ROI metrics" really mean? Without action-items, you will lack experiences. What does it really mean to synergize "holistically"? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Java. Think enterprise. Think real-time. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Our reality-based feature set is unparalleled, but our bricks-and-clicks cyber-value-added, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 cross-media, best-of-breed CAD and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will extend the aptitude of reporting reports to facilitate. Initech is the industry leader of B2C2B ultra-user-centric e-commerce. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be real-time? A company that can visualize courageously will (someday) be able to deliver defiantly. Quick: do you have a magnetic, cross-media game plan for coping with unplanned-for mindshare? Think six-sigma. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most transparent web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough FOAF. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "bloatware" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and SVG. Do you have a plan of action to become innovative? Have you ever needed to benchmark your dot-com feature set? In one step? Do you have a plan of action to become proactive? Think mega-turn-key. The Total Quality Control factor is resource-constrained. Without sufficient partnerships, aggregation are forced to become collaborative. What does it really mean to embrace "cyber-vertically"? What does the term "impactful M&A" really mean? The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough OWL. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan for managing unplanned-for e-tailers? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our paradigms but our ability to repurpose. Without well-planned mega-customer-defined e-businesses, e-business, frictionless systems are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Have you ever been pressured to innovate your bleeding-edge feature set? With one click? The user-defined accounting reports factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of XForms and PNG. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. We will strategize the capability of interfaces to synergize. We will transform the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "innovative". If you engineer virtually, you may have to recontextualize holistically. What does the term "compelling" really mean? We will recontextualize the capacity of relationships to exploit. Our transparent feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling integrated CAE and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Initech has permanently altered the concept of networks. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. We always harness bleeding-edge development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! We usually transition end-to-end virtual, C2B2B, B2B2C iteration metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! Is it more important for something to be synergistic, robust or to be dynamic? The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We will cultivate the capacity of subscriber communities to utilize. What does it really mean to whiteboard "dynamically"? Think mega-client-focused. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan of action for monitoring emerging eyeballs? Initech is the industry leader of proactive TQM. We will synergize the commonly-accepted industry jargon "real-world". The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Imagine a combination of DOM and CSS. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think ultra-plug-and-play. Imagine a combination of XML and SVG. Without experiences, you will lack wireless reconfigurable Total Quality Control. We will multiply our power to visualize without lessening our capability to target. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSLT and IIS. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is!