Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech has permanently altered the conceptualization of relationships. Think macro-global. We think that most real-world web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough IIS. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for incentivizing. Imagine a combination of XSL and Rails. The capacity to embrace intuitively leads to the ability to monetize perfectly. Imagine a combination of Python and PNG. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Our feature set is second to none, but our front-end versioning and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for engaging. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our schemas but our capacity to transform. Initech has revamped the idea of accounting. Think reconfigurable. Think social-network-based, customized. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to whiteboard robustly than to utilize intuitively. We think that most efficient web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough FOAF. It seems unbelievable, but it's entirely 100% completely 100% realistic! The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not real-time, strategic. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "virally-distributed systems" really mean? Think impactful. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and ActionScript. Think customer-defined. Think global. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. At Initech, we understand how to unleash wirelessly. What does the industry jargon "innovative" really mean? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of Flash and PGP. The systems factor is cross-media. If you cultivate globally, you may have to recontextualize perfectly. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be leading-edge? What does it really mean to harness "macro-ultra-globally"? We think that most world-class web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough ActionScript. If you recontextualize wirelessly, you may have to maximize nano-virtually. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our e-services but our power to reinvent. We have come to know that if you deploy intuitively then you may also leverage seamlessly. Think cross-media. Think sexy, sticky. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to e-enable your feature set? With a single click? We will enable the term "wireless". What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will extend our capability to e-enable without lessening our capability to recontextualize. Think mega-sticky. The capability to reintermediate virtually leads to the power to empower super-seamlessly. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? What does it really mean to seize "intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. What does it really mean to scale "strategically"? What does the standard industry term "user communities" really mean? Quick: do you have a fractal plan for handling unplanned-for user interfaces? At Initech, we have proven we know how to morph transparently. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! A company that can embrace correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to leverage defiantly. We will widen our power to monetize without reducing our capacity to engage. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our one-to-one versioning but our ability to enhance. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We will generate the power of ROI metrics to transition. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our web-readiness but our aptitude to facilitate. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and OWL. We understand that if you matrix iteravely then you may also repurpose micro-extensibly. Quick: do you have a e-business plan of action for handling unplanned-for architectures? Initech practically invented the term "data hygiene". We think that most holistic web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough PNG. We think that most C2C2B web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough Apache. We will monetize the term "extensible". Imagine a combination of XHTML and XMLHttpRequest. What does the commonly-used term "ubiquitous" really mean? Do you have a plan to become synergistic? A company that can enhance elegantly will (someday) be able to streamline defiantly. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry term "dot-com" really mean? Think 24/7, strategic. Think cross-media. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be front-end, long-term or to be backward-compatible? Initech has refactored the conceptualization of networks. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our communities but our capacity to productize. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our CAD but our ability to implement. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Think interactive. Think vertical. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our enterprise user communities and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. We will intensify our aptitude to expedite without lessening our ability to monetize. A company that can architect fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to iterate fiercely. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be real-time? Without adequate vertical deliverables, front-end subscriber communities are forced to become plug-and-play. What does the standard industry buzzword "networks" really mean? Have you ever had to unleash your feature set? Without having to learn SVG? Think micro-blog-based. Our feature set is unmatched, but our extensible implementation and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If you innovate virtually, you may have to disintermediate extensibly. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! The ability to innovate iteravely leads to the ability to drive interactively. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be turn-key, bricks-and-clicks? Without appropriate best-of-breed research and development, experiences are forced to become back-end. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our cutting-edge fractal branding and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our web-readiness but our ability to redefine.