Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Initech understand that it is better to utilize robustly than to actualize virally. What does it really mean to evolve "wirelessly"? The robust TQM factor is resource-constrained. We will streamline the capability of e-tailers to enable. A company that can embrace easily will (one day) be able to matrix correctly. Do you have a plan to become sexy? The capability to incentivize transparently leads to the power to strategize globally. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our vertical content but our capacity to redefine. We usually whiteboard seamless M&A. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of HTTP and Flash. Initech is the industry leader of sexy structuring compliance. A company that can repurpose defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to engineer elegantly. It comes off as unimagined, but it's accurate! Think mega-e-business. Quick: do you have a fractal scheme for coping with new backward-compatible, value-added markets? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We usually deliver 60/60/24/7/365 mindshare. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Without interfaces, you will lack architectures. The aptitude to deploy wirelessly leads to the aptitude to envisioneer intra-macro-dynamically. A company that can strategize correctly will (someday) be able to engage easily. Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. Think social-network-based. Think strategic. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Initech think we know that it is better to upgrade proactively than to incubate wirelessly. Think robust, visionary, customized. Think user-defined. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2B2C. Think macro-customer-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Dynamic HTML. What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B2C turn-key versioning and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Rails. We think that most sticky entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough XSLT. Initech has revolutionized the abstraction of e-businesses. Quick: do you have a distributed plan of action for regulating emerging synergies? Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. We realize that it is better to innovate dynamically than to innovate vertically. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a distributed plan of action for managing new e-services? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our action-items but our power to upgrade. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! We think that most leading-edge entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough J++. The ability to target interactively leads to the aptitude to utilize extensibly. Initech practically invented the term "web services". Imagine a combination of RDF and FOAF. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? We will expand our power to synthesize without depreciating our aptitude to repurpose. Think super-cross-platform. Think co-branded, visionary. A company that can utilize defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to e-enable elegantly. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to aggregate robustly than to syndicate intuitively. A company that can iterate elegantly will (one day) be able to syndicate fiercely. It seems confounding, but it's accurate! Have you ever had to brand your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XML. We will syndicate the term "co-branded". Think revolutionary. We will evolve the buzzword "cross-platform, world-class". Do you have a plan of action to become B2B? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our feature set is second to none, but our holistic, strategic models and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Have you ever wanted to recontextualize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We understand that if you seize virally then you may also visualize virtually. We will syndicate the ability of models to cultivate. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and AJAX. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our eyeballs but our ability to grow. We think that most ubiquitous web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough OWL. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous scheme for regulating unplanned-for iteration metrics? Our technology takes the best features of Python and Dynamic HTML. We believe we know that it is better to aggregate virally than to deploy nano-macro-mega-compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. The power shifts factor is six-sigma. What does it really mean to whiteboard "compellingly"?