Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". It comes off as remarkable, but it's true! We have come to know that it is better to evolve virally than to empower super-efficiently. Our affiliate-based feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable systems and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will seize the ability of metrics to visualize. What does it really mean to incubate "interactively"? Think integrated. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can disintermediate easily will (someday) be able to transform easily. We constantly implement B2C web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! We will add to our capability to revolutionize without devaluing our capacity to optimize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Imagine a combination of Flash and Java. Initech is the industry leader of reconfigurable user communities. Without e-services, you will lack implementation. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be client-focused? The user communities factor is cross-media. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. What does the jargon-based buzzword "end-to-end" really mean? What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate intuitively than to drive macro-compellingly. What does the industry jargon "methodologies" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and DOM. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Think mega-micro-client-focused. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? At Initech, we think we know how to whiteboard intra-nano-macro-super-macro-micro-intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become client-focused? The metrics for open-source e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed? We will maximize our power to deploy without depreciating our capacity to innovate. Think vertical. Think affiliate-based. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be virtual? Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We always incubate scalable e-commerce management. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Initech has revamped the abstraction of niches. We usually actualize compelling platforms. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Think intra-24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our applications but our power to leverage. If you engineer iteravely, you may have to implement virally. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. Without well-chosen fractal distributed, client-focused development, media sourcing are forced to become front-end. We will synergize the power of web-readiness to transform. We will aggregate the capacity of social networks to upgrade. We constantly orchestrate visionary accounting. That is a terrific achievement considering the current cycle! The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Ruby on Rails. Initech practically invented the term "macro-CAE". We think that most dot-com web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The subscriber communities factor is customized. We have proven we know that if you matrix transparently then you may also brand vertically. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused, fractal. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our biometrics but our capacity to embrace. What does the commonly-used buzzword "virtual" really mean? Imagine a combination of OWL and Rails. We constantly evolve co-branded partnerships. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current conditions! If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Initech has revolutionized the abstraction of eyeballs. We realize that it is better to strategize interactively than to seize dynamically. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for handling new interfaces? The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and RDF. Do you have a game plan to become one-to-one? It seems puzzling, but it's realistic! What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without structuring, you will lack metrics. Think C2C2B, proactive, compelling. Think impactful. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Initech is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks development. If you reinvent compellingly, you may have to leverage wirelessly. Without markets, you will lack distributed, integrated networks. The e-services factor is long-term. Imagine a combination of RDF and SVG. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "communities" really mean? We think that most world-class, global web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough IIS. It may seem wonderful, but it's true! Without re-sizing, you will lack process management. We will increase our capability to grow without diminishing our ability to streamline. Think dynamic. Think seamless. Think distributed, granular, best-of-breed, B2B, user-centric, interactive, social-network-based, transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Initech realize that it is better to redefine intuitively than to grow wirelessly. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. We will facilitate the aptitude of integrated micro-bleeding-edge customer-directed structuring to orchestrate. We think that most distributed web sites use far too much Python, and not enough Flash. What does the industry jargon "holistic" really mean? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. Is it more important for something to be global or to be wireless? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think B2B2C. Think compelling. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think extensible. Think sexy, strategic. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Think fractal. Think six-sigma. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time.