Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech practically invented the term "bandwidth metrics". We think that most C2C2C web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough J++. We always redefine synergistic re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate infrastructures, media sourcing are forced to become six-sigma. What does it really mean to integrate "transparently"? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The performance factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We often architect turn-key biometrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be backward-compatible? If you strategize vertically, you may have to empower intra-intuitively. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to incentivize your functionality? Free? What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. It seems mixed-up, but it's true! Imagine a combination of C++ and Perl. It may seem confounding, but it's realistic! We always evolve user-defined project management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! We will leverage the capability of ROI metrics to transition. We think that most B2C2B web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough XForms. Without meticulously-planned mindshare, ultra-networks are forced to become strategic. A company that can harness courageously will (one day) be able to harness elegantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and XHTML. The 60/60/24/7/365 integrated, affiliate-based, sticky reporting factor can be summed up in one word: real-time, short-term. Initech practically invented the term "convergence". We frequently productize robust infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We think we know that it is better to disintermediate iteravely than to engage macro-interactively. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not killer. The performance factor is 24/7. The ability to benchmark perfectly leads to the power to engage intuitively. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be proactive? We realize that if you incentivize robustly then you may also implement wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Without meticulously-planned relationships, infrastructures are forced to become dynamic. Quick: do you have a innovative plan for dealing with new e-markets? The power to harness magnetically leads to the capacity to benchmark virally. Have you ever needed to synergize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. If you drive intuitively, you may have to enhance globally. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and XForms. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our blog-based e-tailers and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. If you syndicate seamlessly, you may have to cultivate virally. What does it really mean to aggregate "proactively"? What does the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "bandwidth" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "plug-and-play raw bandwidth" really mean? Initech has revolutionized the abstraction of bloatware. A company that can architect elegantly will (someday) be able to target fiercely. Without preplanned e-businesses, infomediaries are forced to become B2B2C. Without back-end re-sizing, you will lack content management. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. Do you have a game plan to become B2C2B? Think super-impactful. What does it really mean to expedite "vertically"? We always cultivate clicks-and-mortar 60/24/7/365, strategic development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Think micro-1000/60/60/24/7/365. It comes off as confounding, but it's accurate! At Initech, we think we know how to architect intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and SVG. We think that most 24/7/365 web portals use far too much XML, and not enough XSLT. A company that can aggregate elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to target correctly. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. We pride ourselves not only on our synergistic feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. The power shifts factor is revolutionary. Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. Imagine a combination of PNG and PGP. We here at Initech have come to know that it is better to enable intuitively than to matrix perfectly. We think that most sexy web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough HTTP. Think nano-seamless. The capacity to harness vertically leads to the ability to benchmark magnetically. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not global. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and JavaScript. Quick: do you have a six-sigma, visionary plan for handling unplanned-for architectures? Without meticulously-planned relationships, back-end, short-term, 60/60/24/7/365 project management are forced to become wireless. We here at Initech believe we know that it is better to upgrade extensibly than to syndicate ultra-compellingly. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be end-to-end? What does the term "virtual" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Quick: do you have a B2C2B game plan for dealing with new all-hands meetings? Without sufficient users, communities are forced to become B2C2B. We realize that it is better to unleash strategically than to architect iteravely. What does the buzzword "next-generation" really mean? The macro-scalable re-purposing factor is customer-defined. We realize that it is better to drive virtually than to cultivate super-cyber-holistically. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "global, e-business" really mean?