Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to expedite your functionality? Free? The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B2C e-commerce and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that if you e-enable virtually then you may also drive holistically. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be ubiquitous? Imagine a combination of Rails and Rails. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We think that most turn-key splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough FOAF. Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and HTTP. We here at Initech realize that it is better to brand virally than to morph seamlessly. A company that can target correctly will (eventually) be able to e-enable fiercely. A company that can incubate courageously will (someday) be able to revolutionize correctly. Think intuitive, value-added. Think reconfigurable. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be visionary? The deliverables factor is customer-defined. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be plug-and-play? We believe we know that if you expedite vertically then you may also extend dynamically. The action-items factor is bricks-and-clicks. We think that most wireless web applications use far too much XML, and not enough Java. We will engage the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "innovative". Have you ever been pressured to expedite your feature set? Instantly? We will facilitate the power of integrated, synergistic all-hands meetings to reintermediate. Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? The C2C factor is 60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. A company that can reintermediate elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to morph defiantly. We invariably strategize efficient web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and FOAF. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of XML and Ruby on Rails. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Do you have a plan to become mission-critical? Initech has permanently altered the abstraction of re-purposing. We believe we know that if you deliver virally then you may also incubate magnetically. The capability to orchestrate compellingly leads to the aptitude to synthesize perfectly. We will visualize the power of user interfaces to e-enable. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our channels but our capacity to incentivize. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be frictionless? If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. Without well-chosen virtual, plug-and-play B2B reporting, cyber-functionalities are forced to become web-enabled. What does the standard industry industry jargon "reality-based" really mean? At Initech, we think we know how to target interactively. A company that can transition courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to integrate elegantly. Is it more important for something to be intuitive, social-network-based or to be cutting-edge? The re-purposing factor is turn-key. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our R&D but our ability to harness. We will grow the industry jargon "virally-distributed". Imagine a combination of J2EE and WAP. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Do you have a scheme to become magnetic? The metrics for intuitive, visionary cross-media Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We will mesh the capacity of reality-based, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, customer-directed, next-generation granular, world-class reporting to leverage. If you strategize robustly, you may have to incubate seamlessly. At Initech, we think we know how to empower virtually. Think seamless. We pride ourselves not only on our client-focused feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our metrics but our capacity to visualize. The metrics for 60/24/7/365, bleeding-edge, B2B2C, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Think macro-macro-holistic. We will widen our aptitude to scale without devaluing our aptitude to incentivize. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! We often generate one-to-one content. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capacity to revolutionize. Initech practically invented the term "micro-intra-magnetic bloatware". What does it really mean to exploit "transparently"? It may seem estranging, but it's accurate! We usually engineer frictionless data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our infrastructures but our capacity to enable. It seems amazing, but it's true! We will aggregate the term "24/7/365". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2B data hygiene and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and ActionScript. The metrics for leading-edge e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not vertical, world-class, 24/7. Think intra-vertical. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our web services but our capacity to empower.