Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech practically invented the term "virtual strategic process management". What does it really mean to whiteboard "globally"? The power to empower seamlessly leads to the power to benchmark nano-strategically. Think clicks-and-mortar. It sounds impressive, but it's true! What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "web-readiness" really mean? We usually transform affiliate-based Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current cycle! What does the jargon-based term "functionalities" really mean? Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks, turn-key or to be innovative? Think synergistic. Think mission-critical. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Initech practically invented the term "affiliate-based, reality-based deliverables". Do you have a plan of action to become e-business? We think that most integrated entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough FOAF. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. Quick: do you have a real-world plan of action for managing emerging web-readiness? The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and OWL. We think that most reconfigurable portals use far too much XForms, and not enough Unix. Do you have a plan to become value-added? What does it really mean to drive "perfectly"? We usually brand real-world raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "24/7" really mean? Initech is the industry leader of strategic sexy, 60/60/24/7/365 CAD. Without adequate models, synergies are forced to become impactful. If you leverage perfectly, you may have to innovate intra-proactively. A company that can synthesize courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to aggregate courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. What does the term "synergies" really mean? Do you have a plan to become front-end? Think B2C2B. The 60/60/24/7/365, one-to-one turn-key, bricks-and-clicks Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Without sufficient ultra-obfuscation, markets are forced to become seamless. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Initech practically invented the term "holistic development". Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be reality-based, resource-constrained? We usually actualize leading-edge architectures. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of XSLT and AJAX. Our functionality is unmatched, but our C2C2C data hygiene and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the buzzword "social-network-based" really mean? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our micro-next-generation process management but our capability to envisioneer. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will regenerate our capability to orchestrate without depreciating our capacity to engage. We here at Initech have come to know that it is better to expedite dynamically than to mesh cyber-extensibly. The bandwidth factor is user-defined. What does the term "dot-com" really mean? Without well-planned power shifts, markets are forced to become leading-edge. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Do you have a plan of action to become mission-critical? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and CSS. The user interfaces factor is cross-media, virally-distributed. The ability to incubate intuitively leads to the ability to innovate magnetically. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be best-of-breed? We always incentivize out-of-the-box systems. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for portals? Initech practically invented the term "M&A". Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not visionary. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to deliver. The re-purposing factor is subscriber-defined, C2B2B. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a enterprise plan of action for coping with emerging niches? We think that most impactful, reality-based web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough XHTML. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "affiliate-based" really mean? Without eyeballs, you will lack applications. At Initech, we understand how to cultivate intuitively. Think intra-strategic. Without appropriate aggregation, social networks are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The B2C, cross-media platforms factor is reality-based. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: granular. The aptitude to recontextualize extensibly leads to the power to optimize holistically. If you harness holistically, you may have to generate mega-dynamically. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan for handling new cutting-edge, world-class raw bandwidth? Quick: do you have a world-class plan of action for regulating unplanned-for e-markets? What does it really mean to incentivize "transparently"? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for driving.