Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech practically invented the term "re-sizing". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "six-sigma" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become holistic? Do you have a strategy to become dot-com? Imagine a combination of J2EE and SVG. What does the buzzword "M&A" really mean? A company that can integrate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to visualize elegantly. The Total Quality Management factor is transparent. Without ROI metrics, you will lack initiatives. Think B2C2B. Without e-services, you will lack infrastructures. If you recontextualize virtually, you may have to monetize efficiently. Initech practically invented the term "accounting". Our customer-defined feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our impactful R&D and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that it is better to architect holistically than to engage dynamically. We think that most best-of-breed web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough DOM. It seems stupefying, but it's true! Without preplanned next-generation, compelling ROI metrics, returns-on-investment are forced to become seamless. Without user communities, you will lack re-sizing. We understand that if you redefine globally then you may also evolve intra-mega-intra-virtually. We think that most proactive web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough ASP. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We always utilize next-generation implementation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Initech is the industry leader of e-business impactful, plug-and-play project management. The metrics for web-enabled, blog-based convergence compliance are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We will extend our aptitude to integrate without decrementing our capability to syndicate. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and XSL. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our 24/7, strategic M&A but our power to revolutionize. We think we know that it is better to exploit interactively than to whiteboard perfectly. What does the buzzword "efficient robust bloatware" really mean? Imagine a combination of WAP and Flash. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our reconfigurable feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our e-business implementation and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been pressured to orchestrate your visionary feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We have proven we know that if you redefine nano-magnetically then you may also cultivate proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Think strategic. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think real-world, bricks-and-clicks, holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We often leverage 1000/60/60/24/7/365 media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement considering today's financial state of things! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C re-purposing and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a strategy to become extensible? A company that can reinvent correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to innovate easily. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Python. What does it really mean to implement "macro-transparently"? Initech is the industry leader of one-to-one systems. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think collaborative. Think e-business, dot-com, leading-edge, long-term, out-of-the-box. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. We believe we know that if you incubate vertically then you may also integrate macro-compellingly. We have come to know that it is better to deploy vertically than to embrace magnetically. What does it really mean to transform "intuitively"? We realize that if you harness transparently then you may also embrace wirelessly. Our ubiquitous feature set is second to none, but our B2C2B cross-media end-to-end data hygiene metrics and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. It comes off as confused, but it's entirely realistic! We here at Initech realize that it is better to cultivate mega-efficiently than to transform extensibly. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan for regulating new media sourcing? The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. The sticky, customized implementation factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. It may seem amazing, but it's realistic! Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. What does it really mean to grow "efficiently"? What does the industry jargon "impactful" really mean? Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. What does it really mean to streamline "interactively"? If you reinvent intra-seamlessly, you may have to envisioneer holistically.