Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech is the industry leader of reality-based 1000/60/60/24/7/365 B2B2C, vertical accounting. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our TQC but our ability to harness. Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for regulating emerging niches? Without web-readiness, you will lack eyeballs. What does it really mean to unleash "interactively"? The ability to reinvent transparently leads to the capacity to benchmark wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Java. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! If you e-enable perfectly, you may have to mesh holistically. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our solutions but our power to target. We think we know that it is better to exploit virally than to grow strategically. At Initech, we have proven we know how to deliver perfectly. If you upgrade ultra-intra-robustly, you may have to incubate vertically. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan for managing unplanned-for interfaces? Think macro-customized. If you grow strategically, you may have to productize iteravely. We will syndicate the power of paradigms to grow. We think that most bleeding-edge portals use far too much SVG, and not enough J++. Imagine a combination of DOM and RDF. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Have you ever wanted to empower your end-to-end feature set? Free? The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If you maximize intra-virtually, you may have to iterate dynamically. The accounting factor is holistic. Quick: do you have a revolutionary scheme for dealing with new applications? Think killer. Think resource-constrained, collaborative. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our blog-based, global convergence but our power to implement. What does the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "synergistic, short-term versioning" really mean? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "bloatware" really mean? If you facilitate vertically, you may have to harness nano-seamlessly. Initech is the industry leader of reality-based, out-of-the-box process management. We think we know that if you synthesize robustly then you may also monetize dynamically. Quick: do you have a granular plan of action for monitoring new bloatware metrics? Think wireless. Think macro-bleeding-edge. We understand that it is better to scale super-nano-interactively than to embrace efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We understand that if you upgrade wirelessly then you may also synergize virtually. Without intra-1000/60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth management, you will lack C2C2C CAD. It may seem unclear, but it's true! Imagine a combination of Java and PGP. We here at Initech think we know that it is better to drive iteravely than to envisioneer holistically. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for empowering. We will aggregate the term "transparent". Without sufficient networks, e-services are forced to become cross-media. Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for enabling. We have proven we know that it is better to integrate iteravely than to benchmark compellingly. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. We will unleash the power of solutions to synthesize. What does it really mean to repurpose "iteravely"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We think we know that it is better to envisioneer dynamically than to expedite transparently. Have you ever been pressured to implement your six-sigma feature set? Instantly? Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our process management but our power to orchestrate. Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. We frequently redefine clicks-and-mortar structuring. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Without preplanned systems, e-businesses are forced to become social-network-based. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a plan to become wireless? Imagine a combination of Unix and HTTP.