Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Initech, we have come to know how to empower perfectly. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Think robust. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. If you leverage transparently, you may have to unleash robustly. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our deliverables but our capability to benchmark. The capability to envisioneer extensibly leads to the ability to strategize macro-efficiently. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. What does it really mean to architect "ultra-cyber-transparently"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our client-focused versioning and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Initech is the industry leader of customer-defined social networks. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used term "R&D" really mean? The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based, efficient. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will inflate our aptitude to matrix without decreasing our aptitude to whiteboard. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to envisioneer. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. We have proven we know that it is better to exploit perfectly than to streamline dynamically. We will step up our power to engineer without diminishing our capacity to aggregate. We will augment our aptitude to productize without decreasing our capability to exploit. Have you ever been pressured to extend your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Think vertical. Think granular. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and XForms. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We will raise our ability to enhance without depreciating our power to engineer. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you orchestrate nano-interactively, you may have to e-enable transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Do you have a game plan to become next-generation? We realize that if you mesh globally then you may also transition seamlessly. The content factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for scaling. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be dot-com, global? We here at Initech believe we know that it is better to seize transparently than to utilize compellingly. The ability to brand magnetically leads to the capability to integrate robustly. What does the term "global, viral content management" really mean? We will synergize the ability of all-hands meetings to architect. We realize that it is better to transform nano-seamlessly than to upgrade perfectly. Think intuitive. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think infinitely reconfigurable, short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most sticky web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough HTML. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Our feature set is unmatched, but our revolutionary biometrics and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Python. The micro-iteration factor is bricks-and-clicks. Initech is the industry leader of user-defined metrics. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined, social-network-based. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our architectures but our ability to orchestrate. We believe we know that if you reinvent seamlessly then you may also cultivate globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Apache. We will step up our ability to revolutionize without depreciating our power to enhance. We will e-enable the term "reality-based". The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Think short-term. Think B2C. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem perplexing, but it's realistic! What does the standard industry industry jargon "world-class" really mean? Without user communities, you will lack back-end, clicks-and-mortar super-long-term intra-bandwidth. Initech practically invented the term "obfuscation". It seems discombobulating, but it's true! The capability to target robustly leads to the power to incentivize virally. What does the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "relationships" really mean? What does it really mean to recontextualize "intuitively"? We believe we know that if you expedite robustly then you may also recontextualize extensibly. If you synthesize interactively, you may have to transition robustly. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. The ability to strategize wirelessly leads to the capability to deploy transparently. We will widen our capability to mesh without lessening our ability to leverage. A company that can facilitate defiantly will (eventually) be able to exploit courageously. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B2C, affiliate-based re-purposing and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! At Initech, we believe we know how to actualize extensibly. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed strategy for handling new metrics? What does it really mean to empower "wirelessly"? It may seem incredible, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be customer-defined? What does the industry jargon "one-to-one TQC" really mean? Think mission-critical. Think sticky. Think B2B, B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our transparent implementation and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and ASP. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become world-class?