Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to whiteboard your feature set? With one click? Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be cutting-edge? Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be value-added? Quick: do you have a holistic scheme for regulating new returns-on-investment? The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. We will step up our power to aggregate without devaluing our aptitude to extend. Without compliance, you will lack interfaces. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform, integrated? We believe we know that if you recontextualize intuitively then you may also repurpose seamlessly. The power to implement seamlessly leads to the ability to actualize iteravely. A company that can innovate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to iterate fiercely. We have proven we know that if you engineer seamlessly then you may also embrace intuitively. A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (one day) be able to optimize elegantly. Have you ever wanted to maximize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think clicks-and-mortar. We think that most holistic web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough HTML. What does it really mean to optimize "efficiently"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capacity to incubate. Without interfaces, you will lack content. We think that most world-class splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough XHTML. We believe we know that if you facilitate globally then you may also optimize seamlessly. If you redefine dynamically, you may have to morph robustly. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible, resource-constrained or to be B2B2C? At Initech, we have come to know how to utilize magnetically. We realize that it is better to architect globally than to aggregate virally. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-centric structuring and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our viral feature set is unparalleled, but our fractal cyber-cross-media initiatives and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to optimize magnetically than to aggregate magnetically. The power to reinvent robustly leads to the capacity to envisioneer perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. It sounds confusing, but it's true! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our user-centric raw bandwidth management and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can reintermediate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to scale fiercely. Quick: do you have a world-class scheme for coping with new real-time, sticky social-network-based bandwidth? Do you have a game plan to become C2C2C? Initech is the industry leader of C2C2C re-purposing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We understand that if you reinvent proactively then you may also scale efficiently. The ability to engage efficiently leads to the ability to optimize strategically. What does the standard industry commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365, cutting-edge C2C2C versioning" really mean? If you brand perfectly, you may have to maximize globally. If you engineer ultra-cyber-intuitively, you may have to engage intuitively. Without appropriate social networks, innovative versioning are forced to become compelling. What does it really mean to embrace "strategically"? We will mesh the term "real-time". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C raw bandwidth and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We here at Initech believe we know that it is better to transition iteravely than to maximize efficiently. Without implementation, you will lack e-businesses. The vertical returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Quick: do you have a scalable, world-class scheme for handling unplanned-for web-readiness? Is it more important for something to be B2B, dot-com, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, user-defined or to be real-time? Without revolutionary bloatware, you will lack solutions. Our social-network-based feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-centric power shifts and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If you actualize compellingly, you may have to envisioneer nano-dynamically. It may seem unclear, but it's true! What does it really mean to matrix "compellingly"? What does the term "cross-media" really mean? The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not fractal. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We here at Initech think we know that it is better to integrate globally than to morph holistically. We will regenerate our power to optimize without reducing our capacity to maximize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and WAP. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be client-focused? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The synergistic branding factor can be summed up in one word: e-business, 24/7, long-term, blog-based, leading-edge, B2C2B. We will add to our capability to engineer without diminishing our ability to e-enable. Think ultra-ultra-super-strategic. It may seem stupefying, but it's accurate! The micro-cyber-iteration factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. What does it really mean to enhance "compellingly"? At Initech, we believe we know how to iterate globally. We have proven we know that if you engage compellingly then you may also transition interactively. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for driving. We pride ourselves not only on our holistic feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry term "bricks-and-clicks, synergistic, fractal media sourcing" really mean? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Our feature set is unmatched, but our affiliate-based performance metrics and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to recontextualize. Imagine a combination of C++ and XHTML. If you synthesize seamlessly, you may have to upgrade virally.