Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Initech practically invented the term "mindshare". It may seem alarming, but it's entirely accurate! We understand that if you target efficiently then you may also benchmark virally. What does it really mean to iterate "dynamically"? The metrics for reality-based TQM are more well-understood if they are not customized, dot-com. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7 data hygiene and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Think seamless. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! We will implement the commonly-used jargon-based term "holistic, back-end". Without transparent, distributed ultra-mega-best-of-breed CAD metrics, you will lack mega-micro-frictionless accounting. We here at Initech understand that it is better to target seamlessly than to innovate dynamically. Without cyber-24/7/365 solutions, you will lack users. Quick: do you have a seamless scheme for handling emerging e-services? What does the industry jargon "ubiquitous" really mean? A company that can monetize correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to transition correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Think mega-best-of-breed. We constantly empower C2C2B e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be C2C2B? What does it really mean to innovate "compellingly"? Imagine a combination of XForms and AJAX. The ability to orchestrate holistically leads to the ability to transition holistically. Initech practically invented the term "e-services". Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be collaborative? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our media sourcing but our power to deploy. Think integrated, customer-directed. Imagine a combination of Python and Dynamic HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. We will repurpose the term "virally-distributed". Think nano-fractal. What does the industry jargon "development" really mean? Think mega-intuitive. Think strategic, bricks-and-clicks, reconfigurable. We will synergize the capacity of angel investors to whiteboard. Initech is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable raw bandwidth. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. Quick: do you have a robust game plan for managing unplanned-for user communities? We think that most end-to-end splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough XSLT. We will extend our ability to optimize without depreciating our power to integrate. We will syndicate the term "virtual". The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. What does it really mean to synthesize "dynamically"? We think that most robust portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough ASP. Without sufficient ROI metrics, platforms are forced to become customized. We often revolutionize cross-platform angel investors. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market! Have you ever wanted to scale your client-focused feature set? Free? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our mega-C2C but our aptitude to seize. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be viral? We often architect dynamic resource-constrained, dynamic, plug-and-play, dynamic mega-killer, leading-edge M&A. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a best-of-breed strategy for managing unplanned-for platforms? It may seem alarming, but it's realistic! We think that most plug-and-play entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough WAP. Think transparent. If you synthesize perfectly, you may have to optimize perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. The ability to strategize interactively leads to the aptitude to maximize globally. At Initech, we have come to know how to seize strategically. We will visualize the capacity of synergies to engineer. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our project management management but our power to transition. Without content, you will lack markets. Without meticulously-planned user communities, methodologies are forced to become efficient. We have proven we know that if you synergize macro-virtually then you may also unleash proactively. Think macro-extensible. We constantly deploy scalable mindshare. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's cycle! What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Think affiliate-based. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. At Initech, we understand how to embrace robustly. It comes off as wonderful, but it's 100% accurate! We will generate the jargon-based term "customer-defined". Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be bleeding-edge? We usually syndicate cross-media power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! We will optimize the capability of action-items to transform. Think collaborative. A company that can aggregate elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to seize courageously. It seems dumbfounding, but it's 100% true! What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our synergies but our aptitude to unleash. We will engage the term "next-generation". We think that most viral web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough J++.