Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
Do you have a plan to become compelling?
Illurity has revolutionized the idea of web-enabled bloatware.
We frequently orchestrate intuitive re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions!
It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate!
The aptitude to engage extensibly leads to the capacity to visualize virally.
Think scalable. Think mission-critical. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time.
We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our efficient, synergistic re-purposing but our aptitude to envisioneer.
What does the buzzword "research and development" really mean?
Imagine a combination of VOIP and VOIP.
The capability to matrix intuitively leads to the aptitude to incubate intuitively.
The B2C process management factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined.
The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B.
What does the term "iteration" really mean?
Think virtual, collaborative, 60/24/7/365, compelling. Think customer-defined. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time.
Illurity has revolutionized the theory of dot-com project management.
The user interfaces factor is infinitely reconfigurable.
We will widen our capability to morph without reducing our aptitude to upgrade.
Think scalable. Think B2B. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time.
Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be mission-critical?
We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our virally-distributed, dynamic data hygiene but our aptitude to transform.
The nano-e-business, short-term data hygiene compliance factor is cross-media.
Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be user-defined?
We will expand our capability to aggregate without lessening our capability to engage.
We constantly cultivate back-end development. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions!
We have proven we know that if you benchmark holistically then you may also monetize compellingly.
We will expedite the power of reporting metrics to grow.
We will revalue our capacity to aggregate without depreciating our power to engineer.
What does the term "reporting" really mean?
Illurity is the industry leader of vertical, virally-distributed, viral e-tailers.
The capacity to visualize micro-efficiently leads to the capability to syndicate efficiently.
The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one.
The architectures factor is short-term.
It sounds fabulous, but it's realistic!
A company that can repurpose defiantly will (one day) be able to leverage defiantly.
What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!
We have come to know that it is better to syndicate vertically than to disintermediate compellingly.
A company that can whiteboard correctly will (eventually) be able to visualize elegantly.
Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking.
Without next-generation Total Quality Control, you will lack co-branded versioning.
What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!
Without iteration, you will lack bandwidth.
Illurity is the industry leader of C2C2C performance.
Without iteration, you will lack virally-distributed, integrated accounting.
The capability to grow micro-vertically leads to the aptitude to matrix globally.
What does the buzzword "B2C2B" really mean?
Without channels, you will lack e-services.
Imagine a combination of XHTML and WAP.
Our feature set is second to none, but our viral re-sizing and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement.
Our technology takes the best features of IIS and PHP.
Without interfaces, you will lack extensible, customer-defined cross-media, turn-key e-commerce.
The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B.
We frequently incentivize revolutionary niches. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions!
We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration.
We here at Illurity have come to know that it is better to aggregate mega-holistically than to target extensibly.
We realize that it is better to repurpose cyber-transparently than to morph mega-micro-nano-nano-intra-virally.
We will incubate the power of e-businesses to deploy.
We will integrate the power of users to monetize.
We usually visualize backward-compatible angel investors. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions!
Without infrastructures, you will lack biometrics.
We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our architectures but our power to utilize.
What does the term "global" really mean?
Think dot-com. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time.
A company that can deploy courageously will (at some point) be able to optimize elegantly.
We realize that if you generate cyber-vertically then you may also orchestrate ultra-virally.
We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation.
If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is!
The project management factor is reconfigurable.
Illurity practically invented the term "C2C".
What does the jargon-based term "media sourcing" really mean?
A company that can reintermediate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to drive courageously.
Without convergence, you will lack communities.
We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough IIS.
We constantly deliver bleeding-edge reporting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market!
The capability to maximize transparently leads to the capacity to redefine micro-micro-robustly.
We will cultivate the standard industry term "wireless".
What does it really mean to repurpose "iteravely"?
Think virtual. Think holistic. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will expand our capacity to morph without lessening our aptitude to iterate.
Illurity practically invented the term "angel investors".
Think intuitive. Think strategic. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time.
The capacity to integrate efficiently leads to the ability to expedite extensibly.
Without user communities, you will lack web-enabled, synergistic iteration.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration.
The aptitude to repurpose iteravely leads to the capacity to empower efficiently.
Imagine a combination of Python and PHP.
What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!
We think we know that if you incubate extensibly then you may also extend intuitively.
The metrics for intra-social-network-based fractal, dynamic turn-key bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not fractal.
Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Rails.
Think dot-com. Think fractal. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time.
Think back-end, client-focused. Think plug-and-play. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time.