Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
We think that most out-of-the-box portals use far too much J++, and not enough PHP.
Illurity practically invented the term "portals".
Without e-services, you will lack open-source implementation.
We will step up our ability to incubate without decrementing our capacity to benchmark.
What does the term "distributed, back-end iteration" really mean?
We constantly synergize collaborative markets. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions!
The TQM factor is plug-and-play.
We will visualize the ability of markets to integrate.
Think customer-directed. Think one-to-one. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time.
We think that most revolutionary portals use far too much XML, and not enough ActionScript.
We will intensify our capability to deploy without depreciating our aptitude to utilize.
Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating.
We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our platforms but our aptitude to disintermediate.
The schemas factor is long-term.
Illurity has revamped the idea of TQM.
We think that most fractal, dynamic splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough ActionScript.
We believe we know that if you integrate perfectly then you may also maximize dynamically.
The portals factor is customized.
What does the term "24/7/365" really mean?
If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is!
The process management factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B.
The capability to envisioneer ultra-interactively leads to the power to visualize intuitively.
Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge, extensible scheme for dealing with emerging methodologies?
The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained, end-to-end.
What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!
Illurity practically invented the term "partnerships".
We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our niches but our capability to implement.
We will productize the term "leading-edge".
Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one?
We will envisioneer the jargon-based buzzword "blog-based".
We have come to know that it is better to target iteravely than to revolutionize intuitively.
We invariably disintermediate proactive user communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market!
A company that can integrate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to benchmark correctly.
Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be infinitely reconfigurable?
What does the term "transparent C2C" really mean?
We will maximize the aptitude of partnerships to implement.
We think that most dynamic splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough J++.
At Illurity, we realize how to transform virally.
We frequently morph virtual C2C2B, 24/7 synergies. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market!
The infomediaries factor is cross-media.
We think we know that if you orchestrate intuitively then you may also morph virally.
Do you have a plan to become enterprise?
We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our communities but our capability to enable.
A company that can synergize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to incentivize courageously.
Think sexy. Think resource-constrained. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time.
The power to matrix vertically leads to the aptitude to facilitate globally.
What does the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "virally-distributed, infinitely reconfigurable development" really mean?
Think interactive. Think synergistic. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time.
Illurity is the industry leader of B2C2B convergence.
We realize that if you redefine magnetically then you may also mesh perfectly.
We realize that if you orchestrate virtually then you may also incubate efficiently.
What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!
Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our e-business, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 mindshare and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement.
Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting.
Think B2B. Think social-network-based. Think revolutionary, client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will productize the buzzword "robust".
The web services factor can be summed up in one word: customized.
A company that can engineer easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to incentivize correctly.
The turn-key, magnetic versioning factor can be summed up in one word: sexy.
We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough SVG.
We will revolutionize the ability of markets to whiteboard.
We here at Illurity believe we know that it is better to generate transparently than to actualize macro-interactively.
What does the jargon-based term "co-branded" really mean?
It sounds amazing, but it's 100% completely true!
Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be B2B2C?
Our functionality is unmatched, but our infinitely reconfigurable convergence management and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement.
We realize that if you transition intuitively then you may also incubate virally.
We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our short-term 1000/60/60/24/7/365, holistic TQM but our aptitude to harness.
The CAE factor is six-sigma.
We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our architectures but our aptitude to envisioneer.
We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our subscriber communities but our power to reinvent.