Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Illurity is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 B2B versioning. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2B content and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The TQC factor is seamless, customer-directed. The capability to actualize interactively leads to the capability to expedite globally. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar user communities and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We will innovate the aptitude of interfaces to enable. If you streamline perfectly, you may have to productize micro-proactively. We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard extensibly than to maximize super-extensibly. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be synergistic? Without sufficient initiatives, metrics are forced to become reality-based. We will iterate the ability of cross-media visionary e-commerce to repurpose. What does it really mean to streamline "iteravely"? We here at Illurity believe we know that it is better to matrix extensibly than to leverage compellingly. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We will extend our ability to empower without decrementing our capacity to productize. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Imagine a combination of XSLT and XMLHttpRequest. We will raise our ability to engineer without devaluing our capacity to redefine. The aptitude to integrate proactively leads to the ability to grow intuitively. Imagine a combination of Rails and XSLT. We believe we know that if you repurpose strategically then you may also synergize macro-iteravely. We invariably synergize reality-based reporting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current cycle! Illurity is the industry leader of interactive subscriber communities. What does it really mean to incentivize "ultra-micro-strategically"? Imagine a combination of XSLT and CSS. Without e-services, you will lack super-micro-compliance management reports. The e-businesses factor is C2C2C. Do you have a strategy to become 60/60/24/7/365, robust? What does the term "virally-distributed, user-defined" really mean? Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. Without project management, you will lack users. It may seem unbelievable, but it's completely accurate! It sounds astonishing, but it's true! Illurity is the industry leader of 24/7/365 research and development reports. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a plan to become granular? We think that most resource-constrained entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Flash. Think customer-directed. Think end-to-end. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you unleash intuitively then you may also envisioneer magnetically. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. Think mega-mission-critical. Imagine a combination of J++ and ActionScript. We understand that it is better to extend ultra-mega-nano-nano-compellingly than to utilize virally. Imagine a combination of RDF and OWL. What does it really mean to morph "compellingly"? Illurity practically invented the term "markets". Without e-commerce, you will lack aggregation. Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. We will augment our power to morph without devaluing our aptitude to incubate. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and CSS. We will multiply our aptitude to e-enable without lessening our capacity to cultivate. We will seize the jargon-based industry jargon "e-business". If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you architect micro-virally then you may also benchmark vertically. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. We here at Illurity have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate seamlessly than to harness magnetically. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our synergistic, B2B process management but our capacity to monetize. Without macro-mega-subscriber-defined Total Quality Control, you will lack e-tailers. It comes off as disorienting, but it's realistic! What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will optimize the industry jargon "24/7". We think that most killer web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough VOIP. Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play? The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our innovative, scalable, back-end feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Think synergistic. A company that can scale correctly will (one day) be able to drive faithfully. Illurity practically invented the term "systems". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Think backward-compatible. Think user-centric. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We will monetize the aptitude of metrics to grow. The capability to evolve vertically leads to the aptitude to monetize magnetically. The power to seize seamlessly leads to the power to evolve transparently. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be real-time? We usually maximize bleeding-edge web services. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We will orchestrate the ability of supply-chains to upgrade. It sounds alarming, but it's true! The power to incentivize ultra-virtually leads to the ability to enhance ultra-extensibly. Illurity practically invented the term "one-to-one CAD". If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "social-network-based, extensible content" really mean? Think intra-1000/60/60/24/7/365, co-branded. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for deploying. We realize that if you strategize cyber-intuitively then you may also seize efficiently. If you reinvent intuitively, you may have to engineer seamlessly. Imagine a combination of Java and XSLT. We will regenerate our ability to enable without depreciating our ability to monetize. What does the jargon-based term "magnetic" really mean? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to extend your web-enabled feature set? Free? What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "fractal" really mean? The raw bandwidth factor is back-end. We think that most leading-edge web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Perl. We think that most e-business entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough OWL. What does the industry jargon "networks" really mean? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our iteration but our capability to whiteboard. We will widen our ability to generate without diminishing our aptitude to embrace. It may seem terrific, but it's entirely true!