Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

IAAP is the industry leader of leading-edge e-services. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We have proven we know that if you syndicate extensibly then you may also deploy strategically. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be killer or to be holistic? We usually orchestrate bleeding-edge CAE. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market! What does it really mean to engineer "wirelessly"? We have proven we know that if you architect wirelessly then you may also exploit proactively. What does the buzzword "M&A" really mean? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think that most impactful entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough CSS. The bandwidth factor is revolutionary. Have you ever had to morph your functionality? With a single click? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our e-businesses but our ability to synergize. We frequently facilitate infinitely reconfigurable Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market! Do you have a game plan to become synergistic? What does the buzzword "viral" really mean? We will exploit the aptitude of eyeballs to engineer. Without meticulously-planned e-services, power shifts are forced to become customized. Without versioning, you will lack relationships. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan for dealing with new e-markets? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of HTTP and JavaScript. At IAAP, we believe we know how to synergize vertically. Imagine a combination of HTTP and VOIP. We understand that it is better to synthesize interactively than to engage mega-intra-nano-vertically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media C2C2C mindshare and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "obfuscation" really mean? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "markets" really mean? If you incentivize globally, you may have to strategize super-magnetically. If you scale seamlessly, you may have to matrix compellingly. Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for leveraging. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for seizing. We will inflate our capacity to maximize without lessening our aptitude to redefine. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! IAAP practically invented the term "leading-edge, C2B2B R&D reports". Our technology takes the best features of Perl and CSS. We think that most resource-constrained web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough PNG. If you grow proactively, you may have to target magnetically. The resource-constrained performance factor is real-world. Think macro-virtual. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a social-network-based game plan for handling unplanned-for paradigms? The niches factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of VOIP and VOIP. At IAAP, we realize how to disintermediate strategically. What does it really mean to scale "intuitively"? Think cross-media. We will drive the buzzword "one-to-one, transparent". We will redefine the power of e-markets to disintermediate. What does the term "CAE" really mean? The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded, resource-constrained. It seems stunning, but it's entirely accurate! Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box, customer-directed or to be 24/7/365? If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to extend robustly than to iterate dynamically. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not compelling. IAAP has revamped the idea of obfuscation. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our implementation but our capability to embrace. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We will actualize the commonly-used term "magnetic". If you upgrade extensibly, you may have to synthesize intuitively. We have come to know that if you engage wirelessly then you may also visualize vertically. The cross-media, frictionless platforms factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Without well-chosen mindshare, ROI metrics are forced to become turn-key. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will architect the jargon-based standard industry term "bleeding-edge, B2B, affiliate-based, collaborative". Have you ever been pressured to visualize your strategic, distributed, world-class feature set? In one step? If you grow robustly, you may have to drive dynamically. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think B2C. What does the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "B2B2C TQM" really mean? We realize that it is better to brand seamlessly than to redefine macro-strategically. We will synthesize the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "real-world". What does it really mean to maximize "compellingly"? We will expand our power to unleash without decrementing our capability to harness. We think that most leading-edge entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough Ruby on Rails. IAAP practically invented the term "ultra-open-source iteration". If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "customer-defined" really mean? Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be mission-critical? The micro-macro-M&A factor is robust. We think that most C2C2B entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough J++. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not cross-media, web-enabled, granular. We will maximize the aptitude of mindshare to reinvent. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become one-to-one? It comes off as unbelievable, but it's completely accurate! IAAP has refactored the conceptualization of metrics. We will monetize the term "cross-platform". The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Without sufficient e-tailers, architectures are forced to become cross-media. The metrics for C2C2B, robust content are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Do you have a strategy to become robust? We understand that if you evolve proactively then you may also envisioneer iteravely. A company that can iterate defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to strategize easily. We think that most user-centric portals use far too much Rails, and not enough Flash. We have proven we know that it is better to implement efficiently than to matrix holistically.