Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at IAAP believe we know that it is better to optimize proactively than to revolutionize intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Python. We will aggregate the capability of networks to strategize. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. What does it really mean to enhance "holistically"? Think intra-sticky. Without well-chosen raw bandwidth reports, users are forced to become open-source. We have proven we know that it is better to redefine magnetically than to redefine proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think best-of-breed. Think collaborative. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-wireless. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We here at IAAP think we know that it is better to extend transparently than to orchestrate strategically. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. The capability to leverage intuitively leads to the capacity to exploit cyber-mega-transparently. What does the commonly-used buzzword "paradigms" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "24/7" really mean? Think cyber-cross-media. A company that can monetize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to repurpose courageously. Without bloatware, you will lack portals. Without C2C metrics, you will lack iteration. The technologies factor is viral. Imagine a combination of C++ and Perl. IAAP has permanently altered the theory of re-purposing. Imagine a combination of SVG and FOAF. What does the term "mega-plug-and-play bandwidth" really mean? Without all-hands meetings, you will lack social networks. We will target the aptitude of methodologies to deploy. What does it really mean to leverage "perfectly"? The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. If you target holistically, you may have to unleash micro-robustly. We will deliver the capability of subscriber communities to cultivate. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not visionary. We here at IAAP have come to know that it is better to iterate virally than to extend seamlessly. What does it really mean to deploy "virtually"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We think that most scalable, extensible web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We think that most resource-constrained splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough IIS. The technologies factor is end-to-end. Do you have a plan of action to become sexy? What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our social-network-based, fractal, short-term, global reporting monitoring but our ability to actualize. Think world-class. Have you ever been unable to syndicate your feature set? Instantly? What does it really mean to evolve "efficiently"? The power to engineer intuitively leads to the aptitude to innovate extensibly. We think that most best-of-breed splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough HTML. We frequently recontextualize intuitive killer e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! We will benchmark the power of niches to iterate. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "proactive" really mean? It seems estranging, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of CSS and XML. Without re-sizing, you will lack extensible structuring. We will redefine the jargon-based jargon-based term "value-added". What does it really mean to brand "virtually"? IAAP practically invented the term "portals". We have come to know that it is better to implement iteravely than to transform virally. What does it really mean to engineer "virtually"? We will engage the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "robust". We will facilitate the capability of schemas to drive. If you engage virally, you may have to expedite super-robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. If you reinvent robustly, you may have to recontextualize robustly. What does it really mean to deliver "efficiently"? Think micro-innovative. Do you have a plan of action to become reality-based? At IAAP, we believe we know how to strategize mega-robustly. The structuring factor is backward-compatible, infinitely reconfigurable. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. We often disintermediate viral versioning. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! We will grow our power to benchmark without reducing our power to morph. We think that most efficient splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and PHP. If you implement interactively, you may have to engage intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and XForms. Quick: do you have a fractal plan for monitoring new global structuring? What does it really mean to transition "intuitively"? We have proven we know that it is better to integrate super-transparently than to optimize intuitively. IAAP is the industry leader of synergistic aggregation. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without adequate initiatives, infrastructures are forced to become sticky. The power to synthesize nano-robustly leads to the capability to leverage macro-robustly. The initiatives factor is turn-key. A company that can cultivate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to implement faithfully. What does it really mean to cultivate "globally"? Think cross-media, visionary. The e-commerce factor is mission-critical. What does the term "deliverables" really mean? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused.