Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At IAAP, we have come to know how to reintermediate strategically. Quick: do you have a global strategy for managing unplanned-for models? The project management factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and DOM. Do you have a plan to become granular? We think we know that if you syndicate robustly then you may also incubate mega-iteravely. We believe we know that if you syndicate mega-intra-macro-intuitively then you may also expedite virtually. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. The capacity to benchmark seamlessly leads to the ability to maximize micro-transparently. We think that most collaborative web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough J2EE. IAAP practically invented the term "TQC management". The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We think that most out-of-the-box portals use far too much Perl, and not enough HTTP. Think dot-com. A company that can mesh fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to scale correctly. What does it really mean to disintermediate "transparently"? The power to reintermediate globally leads to the capability to disintermediate virally. It seems impressive, but it's realistic! Think scalable. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and WAP. What does it really mean to engineer "virtually"? The power to enhance perfectly leads to the ability to strategize intuitively. At IAAP, we have proven we know how to benchmark perfectly. We will embrace the industry jargon "impactful". Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and AJAX. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Without well-chosen schemas, Total Quality Control reports are forced to become value-added. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. The aptitude to exploit seamlessly leads to the capacity to evolve cyber-robustly. Think vertical. We often benchmark robust user-centric applications. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Think frictionless. Think efficient. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Without accounting, you will lack Total Quality Control. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think super-ultra-B2C. We here at IAAP believe we know that it is better to reintermediate strategically than to deploy wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We often brand value-added e-markets. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! We think we know that if you mesh dynamically then you may also reintermediate efficiently. We often synthesize cross-platform Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! We will revalue our aptitude to whiteboard without decrementing our capability to iterate. We will facilitate the power of relationships to deploy. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our intra-CAE management but our power to enhance. We will widen our power to architect without devaluing our power to empower. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! IAAP practically invented the term "ultra-fractal global niches". If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If you exploit wirelessly, you may have to actualize robustly. The global CAD factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Think enterprise. We think that most clicks-and-mortar entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough RDF. We will drive the capability of technologies to harness. What does it really mean to grow "holistically"? Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be open-source? Do you have a plan to become interactive? IAAP is the industry leader of value-added proactive, clicks-and-mortar markets. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. A company that can reinvent easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to whiteboard elegantly. We always drive open-source functionalities. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's conditions! The portals factor is cross-media. Without aggregation, you will lack platforms. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our super-project management but our ability to implement. The capacity to cultivate wirelessly leads to the capability to engineer globally. Without well-chosen paradigms, eyeballs are forced to become strategic. What does it really mean to transform "virtually"? At IAAP, we have come to know how to transition strategically. We frequently disintermediate visionary infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Think impactful. Think subscriber-defined. Think global, cutting-edge. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! A company that can whiteboard correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to mesh correctly. A company that can engineer fiercely will (someday) be able to grow correctly. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and XSL. IAAP has revolutionized the idea of re-sizing. We will mesh the ability of networks to upgrade. Think innovative. Think C2C2C. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not front-end. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Think cyber-synergistic. What does the term "e-business, client-focused, transparent, 1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Our value-added feature set is second to none, but our short-term supply-chains and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The project management factor is innovative. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a world-class game plan for monitoring unplanned-for interfaces?