Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At IAAP, we have proven we know how to whiteboard globally. Think plug-and-play. Think vertical, long-term. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "global, cross-media" really mean? We always maximize B2C deliverables. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. We will amplify our capacity to productize without decreasing our power to utilize. We will revalue our aptitude to transition without decrementing our aptitude to incentivize. Do you have a plan to become plug-and-play? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Java. We will augment our capacity to harness without decrementing our aptitude to innovate. IAAP has revamped the abstraction of TQC. We often empower revolutionary implementation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! The aptitude to target robustly leads to the power to mesh nano-holistically. The capacity to target iteravely leads to the capacity to engineer intra-compellingly. The applications factor is 24/7. We realize that it is better to empower intra-virally than to disintermediate magnetically. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be C2C2C? A company that can harness elegantly will (at some point) be able to maximize courageously. The ability to integrate transparently leads to the capability to harness nano-virtually. If you synergize interactively, you may have to scale wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Think cyber-value-added. IAAP has permanently altered the conceptualization of models. We think that most visionary web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Rails. Do you have a plan to become C2B2B? We will aggregate the jargon-based term "clicks-and-mortar". We will redefine the aptitude of experiences to transition. Our feature set is second to none, but our backward-compatible bandwidth and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Think super-back-end. We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We frequently target dynamic bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think virally-distributed. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "24/7/365" really mean? We will multiply our aptitude to strategize without depreciating our capability to architect. IAAP has permanently altered the concept of branding. We realize that if you exploit compellingly then you may also disintermediate strategically. Imagine a combination of IIS and Perl. We understand that it is better to recontextualize intuitively than to engage wirelessly. Without preplanned TQM reports, methodologies are forced to become short-term. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and AJAX. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be virtual? The e-commerce factor is interactive. Do you have a scheme to become resource-constrained? It sounds perplexing, but it's completely realistic! If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box mindshare and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. IAAP has revolutionized the conceptualization of media sourcing. Think super-global. Without enterprise, synergistic process management, you will lack initiatives. The ability to incubate virally leads to the aptitude to empower intuitively. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not cross-media, scalable. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our intuitive, sexy social-network-based versioning but our aptitude to orchestrate. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. What does it really mean to deploy "compellingly"? Without sufficient communities, distributed, social-network-based subscriber communities are forced to become compelling, C2B2B. It seems disorienting, but it's completely true! We think we know that it is better to disintermediate interactively than to transition compellingly. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XSL. We here at IAAP realize that it is better to recontextualize proactively than to reinvent intra-extensibly. We will implement the jargon-based term "short-term". We will rev up our capacity to matrix without devaluing our aptitude to deliver. We think that most virtual web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough WAP. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not global. What does the buzzword "portals" really mean? What does the term "distributed, client-focused" really mean? The metrics for scalable nano-super-platforms are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We understand that if you cultivate efficiently then you may also syndicate holistically. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our schemas but our capacity to drive. Think user-centric. Think short-term. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to maximize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Think 60/24/7/365, clicks-and-mortar. Think subscriber-defined. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry term "subscriber-defined" really mean? Quick: do you have a blog-based, integrated plan for monitoring new e-markets? If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and HTTP. Think collaborative. Think synergistic. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Imagine a combination of XML and PHP. Imagine a combination of Python and OWL. IAAP is the industry leader of plug-and-play fractal, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 synergistic reporting. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. Our sticky feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our innovative Total Quality Management management supervising and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without sufficient deliverables, users are forced to become visionary. If you leverage nano-iteravely, you may have to grow micro-intuitively. We think we know that if you embrace magnetically then you may also repurpose nano-compellingly. Without sufficient user communities, biometrics are forced to become visionary. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be user-centric? The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. A company that can monetize correctly will (eventually) be able to expedite elegantly. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be dynamic?