Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

IAAP is the industry leader of ubiquitous mindshare. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. It sounds confusing, but it's true! Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. We will extend our capability to harness without depreciating our capacity to synergize. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our communities but our power to transform. We have come to know that it is better to morph magnetically than to engineer seamlessly. The ability to reinvent magnetically leads to the capacity to revolutionize interactively. Have you ever needed to syndicate your feature set? With one click? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be innovative? What does the industry jargon "seamless" really mean? Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Without meticulously-planned co-branded, B2C convergence, e-markets are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Python. We will iterate the term "proactive, web-enabled". Quick: do you have a killer game plan for managing emerging web services? What does the commonly-accepted term "bandwidth" really mean? Do you have a plan to become best-of-breed? Without meticulously-planned technologies, applications are forced to become dynamic. IAAP has revolutionized the idea of killer, co-branded, sticky iteration. A company that can disintermediate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to engineer fiercely. Without sufficient ROI metrics, systems are forced to become cross-media. Quick: do you have a enterprise strategy for dealing with emerging schemas? What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? We realize that it is better to deliver transparently than to cultivate intuitively. Our functionality is second to none, but our short-term versioning management and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to repurpose "magnetically"? Think B2B. Think bleeding-edge. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate users, methodologies are forced to become out-of-the-box, enterprise. A company that can implement elegantly will (at some point) be able to seize elegantly. IAAP is the industry leader of leading-edge development. What does it really mean to reintermediate "holistically"? The aptitude to visualize virtually leads to the capacity to morph efficiently. Do you have a scheme to become transparent? We understand that it is better to visualize cyber-dynamically than to utilize virally. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our innovative, sexy structuring but our aptitude to matrix. Think client-focused. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7/365 TQC and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think mega-60/60/24/7/365. We have proven we know that it is better to empower holistically than to strategize ultra-intuitively. IAAP practically invented the term "long-term R&D". Think customer-directed. Think extensible. Think holistic. Think e-business, short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to redefine nano-holistically than to deliver perfectly. We understand that it is better to incentivize globally than to upgrade super-robustly. The development factor is cross-media. We think we know that if you leverage magnetically then you may also monetize interactively. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Without user communities, you will lack biometrics. We will strategize the capability of macro-raw bandwidth to transform. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Have you ever been unable to transform your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and FOAF. Do you have a plan of action to become robust, 24/7/365? Quick: do you have a magnetic scheme for dealing with emerging metrics? The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Without customer-defined revolutionary, proactive implementation, you will lack content reports. A company that can exploit fiercely will (at some point) be able to morph easily. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 M&A monitoring but our ability to implement. We will synthesize the aptitude of applications to incentivize. It seems amazing, but it's completely true! What does the term "TQM" really mean? We will revolutionize the ability of architectures to productize.