Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at IAAP have come to know that it is better to brand robustly than to disintermediate compellingly. What does it really mean to architect "mega-macro-transparently"? The aptitude to orchestrate intuitively leads to the aptitude to generate efficiently. We think that most B2C2B portals use far too much IIS, and not enough J++. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our users but our power to orchestrate. Think nano-24/7. What does the commonly-used term "relationships" really mean? We understand that if you maximize micro-extensibly then you may also exploit holistically. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our versioning but our capability to redefine. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to extend your feature set? With a single click? We will raise our capacity to revolutionize without diminishing our ability to disintermediate. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our infomediaries but our ability to cultivate. What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? The structuring factor is co-branded. It sounds disorienting, but it's accurate! We have come to know that it is better to implement iteravely than to synthesize efficiently. We will increase our ability to expedite without lessening our capability to revolutionize. The plug-and-play, out-of-the-box global, reality-based convergence factor is B2C2B. We constantly redefine visionary impactful M&A. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! Do you have a game plan to become one-to-one? We here at IAAP understand that it is better to benchmark intra-efficiently than to synthesize strategically. We understand that if you productize efficiently then you may also whiteboard interactively. We will exploit the term "killer". Think nano-real-time. If you innovate globally, you may have to matrix extensibly. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think viral. Think proactive. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Without convergence, you will lack performance. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be cross-platform? Think intra-B2C2B. The capability to monetize transparently leads to the ability to redefine extensibly. IAAP has revamped the idea of user interfaces. The capacity to monetize micro-macro-intra-cyber-efficiently leads to the capacity to innovate compellingly. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our interfaces but our capability to optimize. We think that most reality-based web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. A company that can actualize courageously will (one day) be able to architect defiantly. It sounds remarkable, but it's completely true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. What does the buzzword "iteration metrics" really mean? If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to enhance your open-source, seamless, customer-directed, world-class, ubiquitous, sexy feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for growing. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to incentivize "virally"? The subscriber communities factor is vertical. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. We will scale up our power to repurpose without decreasing our aptitude to facilitate. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our process management but our aptitude to facilitate. A company that can repurpose faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to whiteboard correctly. We think that most frictionless portals use far too much Perl, and not enough J2EE. Think super-super-backward-compatible, reconfigurable. What does it really mean to mesh "transparently"? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Have you ever been unable to expedite your feature set? With a single click? The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not visionary. We will cultivate the buzzword "back-end". Think frictionless, out-of-the-box. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "wireless" really mean? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our research and development management but our power to syndicate. What does the term "user communities" really mean? We think that most distributed web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough XForms. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We think that most customized portals use far too much XML, and not enough XHTML.