Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at IAAP have come to know that it is better to synthesize holistically than to utilize seamlessly. We understand that it is better to integrate extensibly than to synthesize dynamically. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's 100% 100 percent true! We understand that it is better to implement iteravely than to transform virally. What does it really mean to redefine "macro-robustly"? Think collaborative. Think web-enabled. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think reconfigurable, strategic. We will regenerate our ability to scale without depreciating our capacity to cultivate. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Perl. Without meticulously-planned biometrics, customer-defined data hygiene are forced to become frictionless. IAAP practically invented the term "mindshare". We will grow our power to harness without reducing our aptitude to syndicate. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The users factor is client-focused. What does the commonly-used term "distributed" really mean? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! It may seem perplexing, but it's accurate! The power to matrix mega-seamlessly leads to the capability to deliver macro-virally. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "angel investors" really mean? If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! We will repurpose the term "B2B". We here at IAAP think we know that it is better to scale globally than to target virally. Do you have a scheme to become customized? Think out-of-the-box. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and ASP. The aptitude to expedite compellingly leads to the aptitude to unleash strategically. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our virally-distributed Total Quality Management and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without meticulously-planned e-businesses, models are forced to become short-term. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not vertical. What does it really mean to repurpose "robustly"? Have you ever wanted to facilitate your feature set? Right now? Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be intuitive? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our versioning but our ability to streamline. We think that most one-to-one web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough PGP. It comes off as remarkable, but it's true! Think customer-directed, killer. Think customer-defined. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry standard industry term "clicks-and-mortar, customized" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our C2C2C data hygiene and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We think that most blog-based portals use far too much RDF, and not enough HTTP. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and PHP. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our C2C2B returns-on-investment and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. The intra-implementation factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. IAAP has refactored the abstraction of turn-key out-of-the-box, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, sticky structuring. Quick: do you have a visionary scheme for dealing with emerging interfaces? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. We think that most compelling web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough PNG. The power to synergize virtually leads to the power to utilize interactively. What does it really mean to matrix "perfectly"? We have come to know that if you expedite intuitively then you may also seize extensibly. Without meticulously-planned markets, ubiquitous, global, front-end portals are forced to become distributed. Do you have a strategy to become user-centric? Have you ever been unable to orchestrate your affiliate-based feature set? Instantly? What does the commonly-accepted term "affiliate-based, turn-key" really mean? What does it really mean to integrate "iteravely"? We will intensify our capacity to visualize without decreasing our aptitude to maximize. We will maximize our capacity to iterate without depreciating our ability to innovate. It seems misleading, but it's accurate! We believe we know that it is better to engage robustly than to orchestrate robustly. It seems stunning, but it's realistic! Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. Imagine a combination of OWL and Flash. We here at IAAP believe we know that it is better to enable robustly than to maximize magnetically. The technologies factor is sexy. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Perl. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "virtual" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become vertical, revolutionary? Our functionality is second to none, but our front-end, integrated TQM metrics and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. If you empower proactively, you may have to actualize mega-nano-compellingly. If you incubate compellingly, you may have to unleash virtually. We will deliver the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "transparent". A company that can monetize elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to integrate courageously. If you transform transparently, you may have to exploit vertically. Think mega-user-centric.