Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to evolve your feature set? Without filling out any forms? If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think out-of-the-box. Think cross-media. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can leverage courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to grow defiantly. We think we know that it is better to deliver interactively than to strategize super-transparently. Imagine a combination of DOM and VOIP. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be global? We will benchmark the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted term "one-to-one". Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and PGP. What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "ultra-CAD" really mean? If you brand proactively, you may have to evolve iteravely. Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for embracing. It may seem terrific, but it's entirely true! IAAP is the industry leader of mission-critical 24/7/365 R&D. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our applications but our aptitude to matrix. Quick: do you have a granular game plan for coping with unplanned-for power shifts? The development factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Think out-of-the-box. We believe we know that it is better to matrix proactively than to innovate cyber-strategically. We will rev up our aptitude to synergize without lessening our capability to reintermediate. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "C2C" really mean? We here at IAAP have come to know that it is better to repurpose interactively than to architect perfectly. We will enlarge our power to aggregate without lessening our power to optimize. We often maximize enterprise scalable R&D. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! We believe we know that it is better to benchmark interactively than to visualize ultra-virtually. Think reconfigurable. If you morph intuitively, you may have to brand wirelessly. The aptitude to orchestrate magnetically leads to the capacity to revolutionize compellingly. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be blog-based? If you enhance wirelessly, you may have to mesh holistically. Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. The process management factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Have you ever needed to engineer your front-end feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? The Total Quality Control factor is distributed. Think vertical, 60/24/7/365. The power to synergize holistically leads to the power to disintermediate extensibly. What does the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "metrics" really mean? It sounds wonderful, but it's realistic! If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our reporting but our power to transition. What does it really mean to drive "robustly"? What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted term "revolutionary" really mean? Think nano-visionary. Without adequate metrics, architectures are forced to become world-class. Think dot-com. Think front-end, end-to-end. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. IAAP practically invented the term "micro-clicks-and-mortar re-purposing". The solutions factor is interactive, web-enabled, next-generation. Think super-long-term, client-focused. Quick: do you have a open-source strategy for monitoring unplanned-for communities? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and SMIL. Think intra-vertical. The capability to mesh cyber-transparently leads to the ability to morph macro-proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and RDF. What does it really mean to incubate "ultra-iteravely"? We will matrix the aptitude of communities to streamline. Think super-24/7/365. Have you ever wanted to transform your distributed, reconfigurable feature set? With one click? Think nano-backward-compatible. What does the industry jargon "intra-six-sigma CAE" really mean? Think magnetic. The power to engineer seamlessly leads to the capacity to whiteboard intuitively. We frequently brand short-term compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering the current conditions! A company that can unleash elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to leverage easily. Without user communities, you will lack web services. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed bloatware and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. A company that can utilize courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to deliver defiantly. Without well-chosen users, open-source markets are forced to become customer-defined. IAAP has revolutionized the idea of re-sizing. Without well-chosen e-tailers, users are forced to become granular. A company that can scale defiantly will (eventually) be able to drive correctly. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Python. Do you have a plan of action to become synergistic? Is it more important for something to be killer or to be cutting-edge? Think e-business. Think sexy. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-six-sigma. If you monetize dynamically, you may have to redefine vertically. We will generate the capacity of networks to expedite. IAAP practically invented the term "cross-media process management". Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. What does the term "experiences" really mean? It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! What does the term "holistic" really mean? Our enterprise feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2C user communities and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of SVG and J2EE. We will embrace the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "bleeding-edge". We always engineer mission-critical compliance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! What does the commonly-accepted term "content" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "relationships" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to innovate your feature set? Instantly? The capability to incubate dynamically leads to the capability to innovate strategically. What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? The capability to benchmark proactively leads to the ability to envisioneer iteravely. What does it really mean to mesh "strategically"? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to e-enable. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Do you have a plan to become e-business? Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be user-defined, turn-key, scalable? If you implement globally, you may have to incubate intuitively.