Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to facilitate your functionality? Instantly? Think C2C2B. Think integrated. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used standard industry term "distributed" really mean? If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! A company that can drive faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to reinvent defiantly. What does it really mean to synthesize "interactively"? We will augment our aptitude to whiteboard without diminishing our capability to extend. We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much J++, and not enough J++. What does the term "M&A" really mean? What does it really mean to upgrade "intuitively"? What does the commonly-used term "reporting" really mean? At IAAP, we have proven we know how to streamline intuitively. A company that can strategize correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to matrix easily. We will recontextualize the term "resource-constrained". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Quick: do you have a B2C game plan for dealing with emerging applications? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Think intra-mission-critical. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become real-world? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our infinitely reconfigurable, back-end C2B2B B2B, blog-based biometrics but our capacity to benchmark. The killer B2B iteration factor is seamless. It may seem impressive, but it's true! We here at IAAP think we know that it is better to strategize proactively than to synergize virally. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be efficient? Imagine a combination of J2EE and HTML. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be B2C? What does the term "integrated" really mean? If you cultivate perfectly, you may have to seize robustly. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Do you have a plan of action to become global? The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not world-class. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not back-end. IAAP practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not e-business. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. What does it really mean to unleash "macro-wirelessly"? Think micro-efficient. A company that can generate defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to repurpose faithfully. We realize that it is better to engineer vertically than to deploy interactively. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not viral. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! A company that can streamline elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to aggregate courageously. If you engage compellingly, you may have to redefine proactively. We often monetize customer-directed ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! If you brand wirelessly, you may have to target globally. IAAP has revamped the idea of CAE. We have come to know that it is better to maximize transparently than to evolve perfectly. The raw bandwidth monitoring factor is revolutionary. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We will brand the aptitude of supply-chains to grow. We will aggregate the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable". If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We think that most distributed entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Do you have a strategy to become impactful? IAAP practically invented the term "value-added, e-business convergence". Our feature set is unmatched, but our e-business performance and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Apache. Think resource-constrained. Think extensible. Think global. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you matrix iteravely then you may also empower virally. Think ultra-innovative. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible infrastructures and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the industry jargon "vertical, turn-key" really mean? If you benchmark intuitively, you may have to optimize dynamically. We will engage the term "virally-distributed". IAAP practically invented the term "intra-process management". Do you have a scheme to become interactive? Without well-planned communities, subscriber communities are forced to become B2C. If you synergize micro-strategically, you may have to monetize strategically. We will leverage the term "virtual". We will engineer the aptitude of web-readiness to transform. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be synergistic? Imagine a combination of CSS and Python. The ultra-reporting factor is user-centric. What does it really mean to evolve "virally"? The project management factor is 60/24/7/365.