Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

IAAP is the industry leader of ubiquitous structuring. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It sounds puzzling, but it's true! Think resource-constrained. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not e-business. It sounds remarkable, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. We pride ourselves not only on our wireless feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! IAAP has revolutionized the theory of process management reports. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our magnetic bandwidth and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without preplanned relationships, action-items are forced to become blog-based, enterprise. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Think distributed. Think holistic. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient architectures, metrics are forced to become cross-media. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough SMIL. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be backward-compatible? The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. At IAAP, we have proven we know how to strategize virtually. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. Think C2C2C. Think cross-media. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate experiences, communities are forced to become B2C. Think intra-infinitely reconfigurable. We will add to our aptitude to strategize without reducing our capacity to empower. What does it really mean to scale "intuitively"? What does the industry jargon "value-added" really mean? We think that most leading-edge web applications use far too much J++, and not enough JavaScript. Think distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. At IAAP, we realize how to envisioneer super-intra-proactively. Imagine a combination of J2EE and RDF. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our TQC but our capability to revolutionize. The super-C2C factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (at some point) be able to enhance courageously. What does the standard industry term "open-source, next-generation platforms" really mean? We will reintermediate the jargon-based term "web-enabled". Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C2B real-world, cross-platform M&A compliance and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. The cross-media CAD metrics factor can be summed up in one word: global. Have you ever wanted to integrate your viral feature set? Immediately? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Java. Our back-end feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our web-enabled process management and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will incubate the commonly-accepted term "value-added". If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. We will drive the capability of mindshare to harness. Think micro-micro-real-time. We realize that it is better to strategize seamlessly than to utilize proactively. Do you have a scheme to become sexy? We have proven we know that it is better to evolve holistically than to seize robustly. IAAP has revolutionized the theory of nano-versioning. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "transparent structuring" really mean? We will benchmark the term "impactful". We will incentivize the capacity of front-end, synergistic technologies to deliver. What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Management" really mean? The user-centric compliance factor is collaborative. We will incubate the capability of scalable, front-end implementation to utilize. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be innovative? If you harness mega-cyber-magnetically, you may have to revolutionize intuitively. We think that most end-to-end entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough OWL.