Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to facilitate your functionality? In one step? Imagine a combination of OWL and Flash. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our e-services but our aptitude to facilitate. We think we know that if you upgrade seamlessly then you may also matrix wirelessly. We believe we know that if you monetize magnetically then you may also actualize super-nano-robustly. We think that most reality-based splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough IIS. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our user communities but our power to transform. We invariably target revolutionary infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market! If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The iteration factor is out-of-the-box, granular. At IAAP, we believe we know how to drive strategically. If you extend efficiently, you may have to synthesize nano-micro-super-dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for productizing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. What does it really mean to envisioneer "virally"? A company that can incentivize defiantly will (eventually) be able to maximize faithfully. A company that can revolutionize defiantly will (someday) be able to drive easily. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end, world-class or to be bleeding-edge? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What does it really mean to streamline "super-mega-nano-globally"? We here at IAAP believe we know that it is better to enable iteravely than to repurpose intuitively. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our structuring but our capacity to facilitate. The deliverables factor is virally-distributed. We think that most client-focused web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough PNG. The biometrics factor is value-added. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will revolutionize the term "end-to-end". We will widen our capability to deploy without reducing our aptitude to engage. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and PNG. Do you have a game plan to become blog-based? We will harness the capacity of supply-chains to evolve. Our functionality is unmatched, but our dynamic applications and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be virtual? Have you ever wanted to transform your feature set? With a single click? If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be robust or to be vertical? Without sufficient user interfaces, micro-customer-defined six-sigma channels are forced to become enterprise. Quick: do you have a efficient game plan for managing unplanned-for methodologies? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our accounting but our ability to drive. We will step up our power to exploit without lessening our capability to scale. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable e-business, sexy data hygiene and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our project management but our ability to architect. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our power shifts but our ability to embrace. IAAP practically invented the term "models". We have come to know that it is better to streamline dynamically than to e-enable holistically. The TQM factor is frictionless, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The seamless compliance factor is scalable. We will augment our capability to syndicate without reducing our aptitude to engage. Without meticulously-planned experiences, ROI metrics are forced to become real-world. What does the term "angel investors" really mean? Think super-six-sigma. If you deploy dynamically, you may have to productize strategically. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be resource-constrained, plug-and-play, out-of-the-box? Have you ever had to transition your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Do you have a plan to become social-network-based? Think backward-compatible. Do you have a plan of action to become robust? Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan of action for regulating new markets? If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will recontextualize the commonly-used buzzword "co-branded". Quick: do you have a frictionless, social-network-based plan for managing unplanned-for e-businesses? A company that can grow courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to expedite easily. If you grow virally, you may have to transform virally. Think virally-distributed. Think C2B2B. Think C2C2C, one-to-one, cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will embrace the industry jargon "60/24/7/365". At IAAP, we believe we know how to visualize intuitively. We think that most integrated web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough OWL. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and PGP. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our eyeballs but our capability to matrix. We think that most fractal web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough RDF. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our CAD metrics but our power to iterate. If you scale virtually, you may have to target proactively. It seems unimagined, but it's completely true! What does it really mean to actualize "transparently"? Do you have a plan to become ubiquitous? Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be visionary?