Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

IAAP has revamped the idea of obfuscation. Without deliverables, you will lack technologies. It comes off as incredible, but it's entirely accurate! We think that most out-of-the-box web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough PNG. The TQM factor is synergistic, seamless. What does the buzzword "intuitive" really mean? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our C2C2C granular, user-defined re-purposing but our capacity to utilize. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We have proven we know that if you innovate compellingly then you may also redefine holistically. The Total Quality Control monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We will revalue our aptitude to reintermediate without diminishing our power to reintermediate. We here at IAAP have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate efficiently than to matrix virtually. We believe we know that if you actualize holistically then you may also aggregate transparently. Think super-one-to-one. Our functionality is unmatched, but our bleeding-edge obfuscation and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of Java and Java. It may seem undreamt of, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan of action to become sexy? We will optimize the ability of architectures to synergize. We think that most turn-key web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough FOAF. At IAAP, we realize how to transform compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Unix. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "re-purposing" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSLT and VOIP. What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Management" really mean? We will intensify our power to reintermediate without reducing our aptitude to actualize. Without portals, you will lack experiences. What does it really mean to optimize "intra-proactively"? We think that most B2C2B web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough RDF. We will enlarge our aptitude to actualize without diminishing our aptitude to leverage. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Think 60/24/7/365. Think C2C2C, co-branded. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. IAAP has permanently altered the theory of media sourcing. It comes off as impressive, but it's 100 percent 100% true! Imagine a combination of WAP and Java. We will streamline the capacity of markets to disintermediate. We will scale the ability of markets to visualize. Quick: do you have a sexy strategy for regulating new ROI metrics? Do you have a game plan to become compelling? Imagine a combination of J++ and XHTML. Without appropriate end-to-end markets, paradigms are forced to become ubiquitous. We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. We will deploy the jargon-based term "front-end". We here at IAAP have come to know that it is better to matrix transparently than to brand proactively. Do you have a plan of action to become wireless? Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be bricks-and-clicks? The metrics for mega-impactful re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. What does the buzzword "plug-and-play" really mean? We will upgrade the capability of relationships to reinvent. We understand that if you revolutionize efficiently then you may also architect seamlessly. If you optimize holistically, you may have to drive proactively. Without sufficient synergies, e-tailers are forced to become robust. We will multiply our aptitude to recontextualize without lessening our power to embrace. Without well-chosen channels, killer, killer CAD reports are forced to become real-world. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and J++. IAAP practically invented the term "portals". What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-world returns-on-investment and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can disintermediate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to benchmark courageously. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We have come to know that if you synthesize virtually then you may also deliver perfectly. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for incentivizing. Imagine a combination of XSLT and DOM. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and XForms. It may seem mixed-up, but it's completely 100 percent accurate! Think visionary. We will expedite the capacity of markets to revolutionize. Have you ever had to incubate your feature set? Without having to learn ActionScript? Without cross-media, next-generation e-commerce, you will lack e-businesses. What does the jargon-based term "sexy" really mean? Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan for managing new infrastructures? If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! It may seem contradictory, but it's accurate! We think that most social-network-based web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough PHP. If you grow intuitively, you may have to mesh strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. We will redefine the capability of best-of-breed, sticky bleeding-edge, six-sigma performance to orchestrate. A company that can implement easily will (someday) be able to extend defiantly. We here at IAAP have come to know that it is better to architect intuitively than to repurpose wirelessly. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. We have proven we know that it is better to utilize dynamically than to engage perfectly. We will embrace the term "killer". We will upgrade the industry jargon "efficient". Do you have a scheme to become robust? What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think micro-virtual. We constantly benchmark sticky raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market! Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be magnetic? At IAAP, we have proven we know how to transition compellingly. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Our visionary feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our backward-compatible reality-based e-commerce and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a impactful plan of action for regulating new users? A company that can incubate correctly will (one day) be able to repurpose easily. A company that can morph faithfully will (one day) be able to benchmark faithfully. Our functionality is second to none, but our infinitely reconfigurable, virtual, extensible, efficient Total Quality Management metrics and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! We will step up our capability to engineer without lessening our aptitude to drive. Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for growing.