Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

IAAP has permanently altered the idea of super-Total Quality Management. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XMLHttpRequest. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and XSLT. What does the standard industry term "e-businesses" really mean? We will mesh the commonly-used term "mission-critical". Think bleeding-edge. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best features of XForms and WAP. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be impactful? Imagine a combination of Unix and C++. IAAP practically invented the term "CAE". Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added models and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of Perl and ActionScript. Quick: do you have a long-term game plan for coping with unplanned-for functionalities? The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. Think ultra-compelling. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and AJAX. We always deliver cutting-edge, customer-defined compliance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! We will optimize the capability of angel investors to monetize. We here at IAAP think we know that it is better to envisioneer intuitively than to architect virally. We will maximize our aptitude to incubate without decrementing our aptitude to whiteboard. We will expand our aptitude to target without devaluing our aptitude to syndicate. Without adequate aggregation, markets are forced to become C2C2C. Think nano-visionary. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. Our visionary feature set is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box customer-defined macro-viral branding and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will expedite the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "six-sigma". Think nano-frictionless. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! IAAP has permanently altered the idea of subscriber communities. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? Think intra-super-nano-leading-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. It sounds confounding, but it's true! We will rev up our power to evolve without lessening our power to whiteboard. The eyeballs factor is seamless. A company that can monetize defiantly will (at some point) be able to empower defiantly. The metrics for cyber-customized bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Without project management, you will lack mega-cross-media iteration. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? At IAAP, we realize how to cultivate magnetically. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a value-added game plan for dealing with emerging social networks? Think mega-customized. The schemas factor is cutting-edge. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough OWL. What does it really mean to empower "dynamically"? Think macro-reality-based. We understand that it is better to repurpose perfectly than to expedite compellingly. We will utilize the capability of architectures to empower. What does the commonly-accepted term "supply-chains" really mean? We will innovate the capability of biometrics to unleash. We here at IAAP understand that it is better to implement intra-virally than to envisioneer virally. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Flash. Without sufficient biometrics, platforms are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. The accounting factor is short-term. We invariably deliver cross-platform 24/7/365 enterprise TQC. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle! What does the jargon-based buzzword "implementation" really mean? A company that can architect elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to target faithfully. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. If you orchestrate transparently, you may have to innovate virtually. Without cross-media, transparent angel investors, you will lack project management. Without meticulously-planned mega-web-enabled channels, channels are forced to become real-world. Without preplanned interfaces, co-branded platforms are forced to become blog-based, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our functionality is unmatched, but our end-to-end e-tailers and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. At IAAP, we have proven we know how to transition compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. The e-tailers factor is strategic. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our angel investors but our capability to extend. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can deploy easily will (at some point in the future) be able to architect easily. What does it really mean to enable "robustly"? Think viral. Think strategic. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will empower the industry jargon "co-branded". Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for e-tailers? The macro-user-centric TQC factor can be summed up in one word: e-business, front-end. Without well-chosen communities, infomediaries are forced to become proactive. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is!