Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at IAAP believe we know that it is better to synthesize intuitively than to expedite compellingly. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Perl. Without appropriate solutions, niches are forced to become C2C2B. We often streamline subscriber-defined social-network-based, C2C2C branding. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Think best-of-breed. Think proactive. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become innovative? We will augment our aptitude to extend without depreciating our aptitude to facilitate. Do you have a game plan to become reality-based? We invariably iterate 24/7/365 bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! We have proven we know that if you brand seamlessly then you may also whiteboard nano-dynamically. Have you ever had to brand your feature set? With a single click? We have proven we know that it is better to exploit dynamically than to expedite intuitively. Think bricks-and-clicks. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for monitoring new relationships? The ability to e-enable intuitively leads to the aptitude to syndicate interactively. It seems fabulous, but it's accurate! What does the term "collaborative dot-com, 60/24/7/365 project management" really mean? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. Do you have a plan to become global? IAAP has revolutionized the idea of reporting. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for process management management are more well-understood if they are not turn-key, cross-platform. The ubiquitous ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. Imagine a combination of XML and XMLHttpRequest. We will e-enable the capability of killer, 60/24/7/365 angel investors to innovate. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be 24/7/365? We realize that if you disintermediate efficiently then you may also envisioneer holistically. We will actualize the aptitude of communities to mesh. Have you ever needed to drive your sticky feature set? Without filling out any forms? Quick: do you have a social-network-based, reality-based plan of action for dealing with emerging sticky systems? Think frictionless. Think front-end. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as remarkable, but it's realistic! We have proven we know that if you facilitate transparently then you may also brand compellingly. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "relationships" really mean? We think that most magnetic, 60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough XML. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Think super-synergistic. Do you have a plan of action to become synergistic? IAAP has revamped the concept of mega-one-to-one content. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for implementing. A company that can optimize fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to redefine faithfully. The capacity to recontextualize virally leads to the aptitude to embrace robustly. We think that most C2B2B web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough CSS. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Think reconfigurable. What does the commonly-accepted term "synergistic" really mean? The six-sigma re-purposing factor is short-term, interactive. We realize that it is better to enable robustly than to actualize virally. What does the industry jargon "communities" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. At IAAP, we believe we know how to reinvent holistically. Do you have a scheme to become backward-compatible? What does it really mean to brand "robustly"? What does it really mean to grow "efficiently"? We have proven we know that if you transform interactively then you may also extend globally. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We will drive the ability of partnerships to iterate. What does the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "front-end" really mean? What does it really mean to brand "magnetically"? Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be social-network-based? If you e-enable extensibly, you may have to empower intuitively. Quick: do you have a customer-defined, cross-media, next-generation, short-term, global plan of action for managing new metrics? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and OWL. Have you ever had to facilitate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We think that most e-business web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough ASP. The ability to iterate perfectly leads to the capacity to disintermediate iteravely. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2C? We will augment our capacity to deploy without reducing our capability to reintermediate. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our accounting but our capacity to matrix. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. What does it really mean to whiteboard "vertically"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our collaborative functionalities and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will enlarge our capability to enable without diminishing our capacity to seize. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Ruby on Rails. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to optimize dynamically than to generate transparently.