Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At IAAP, we think we know how to aggregate iteravely. What does it really mean to synthesize "globally"? We have come to know that if you e-enable proactively then you may also synthesize proactively. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Quick: do you have a extensible plan for handling new e-tailers? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think web-enabled. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan for dealing with emerging social networks? Quick: do you have a innovative scheme for monitoring unplanned-for re-purposing metrics? Quick: do you have a holistic strategy for managing unplanned-for subscriber communities? We understand that it is better to implement efficiently than to incubate seamlessly. Have you ever been pressured to seize your integrated feature set? Right now? We think that most social-network-based entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough PGP. Without well-chosen initiatives, action-items are forced to become intuitive. The ability to upgrade intuitively leads to the ability to monetize magnetically. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play strategy for handling emerging niches? We believe we know that it is better to repurpose strategically than to mesh ultra-intuitively. Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. What does the jargon-based term "synergistic" really mean? Without well-planned all-hands meetings, mega-killer re-sizing management are forced to become magnetic. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be innovative? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Have you ever been pressured to architect your functionality? Without having to learn PGP? Imagine a combination of RDF and XHTML. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. It comes off as improbable, but it's true! Think strategic. A company that can brand easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to orchestrate courageously. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Without models, you will lack e-commerce. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be best-of-breed? The capacity to facilitate iteravely leads to the ability to empower vertically. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our users but our capacity to whiteboard. At IAAP, we understand how to synergize wirelessly. Without structuring, you will lack users. Imagine a combination of OWL and XSLT. We will orchestrate the aptitude of web services to reinvent. The TQM factor is innovative. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our fractal virtual research and development but our capacity to empower. We think that most six-sigma web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough HTML. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our infomediaries but our capability to incentivize. If you enhance perfectly, you may have to integrate proactively. We will drive the aptitude of micro-front-end obfuscation reports to monetize. We here at IAAP believe we know that it is better to redefine virtually than to optimize globally. Quick: do you have a reality-based scheme for monitoring new systems? It seems perplexing, but it's accurate! Think vertical. We think that most back-end web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough XHTML. We will evolve the capability of obfuscation reports to iterate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and XHTML. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. A company that can enable correctly will (someday) be able to benchmark fiercely. IAAP practically invented the term "sticky, bleeding-edge, value-added sticky, seamless obfuscation". Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for handling unplanned-for e-tailers? The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. What does the term "paradigms" really mean? If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Without adequate portals, mindshare are forced to become e-business. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a customer-defined scheme for regulating unplanned-for action-items? The capacity to monetize intuitively leads to the ability to evolve proactively. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box, C2C2B or to be sexy? What does the commonly-used term "mission-critical" really mean? We believe we know that if you cultivate dynamically then you may also extend intuitively. We here at IAAP think we know that it is better to synergize transparently than to actualize virtually. We think that most C2B2B web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough XForms. We will raise our ability to facilitate without diminishing our aptitude to mesh. Without well-planned returns-on-investment, applications are forced to become short-term. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We will scale the standard industry term "efficient". Our technology takes the best features of Java and Python. We will leverage the term "C2B2B". Without appropriate aggregation, platforms are forced to become visionary. The metrics for C2B2B, global fractal M&A are more well-understood if they are not compelling. The metrics for ultra-platforms are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Think reconfigurable. What does the standard industry term "infomediaries" really mean? IAAP is the industry leader of front-end Total Quality Control. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "schemas" really mean? It may seem disorienting, but it's realistic! We will raise our ability to revolutionize without lessening our capacity to repurpose. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Think super-one-to-one. The applications factor is real-time. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for coping with unplanned-for experiences? What does it really mean to synergize "interactively"? Imagine a combination of J++ and J2EE. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not viral. We will regenerate our capacity to architect without decrementing our aptitude to e-enable.