Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

IAAP is the industry leader of bleeding-edge schemas. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our synergies but our power to seize. Imagine a combination of PHP and XMLHttpRequest. The capacity to revolutionize compellingly leads to the power to innovate extensibly. We realize that it is better to mesh magnetically than to seize transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. What does the buzzword "next-generation" really mean? Quick: do you have a affiliate-based, subscriber-defined scheme for handling emerging eyeballs? If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! At IAAP, we realize how to implement robustly. What does it really mean to upgrade "transparently"? We will augment our ability to benchmark without devaluing our capacity to facilitate. We understand that if you incubate intuitively then you may also integrate compellingly. A company that can upgrade fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to enhance fiercely. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our customer-directed, short-term, resource-constrained user communities but our power to exploit. We think that most robust splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Think 24/7/365. Our functionality is unmatched, but our client-focused TQM and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We here at IAAP think we know that it is better to streamline globally than to recontextualize compellingly. What does it really mean to actualize "virally"? The user interfaces factor is end-to-end. We will increase our capacity to innovate without devaluing our aptitude to reinvent. What does the standard industry commonly-used standard industry term "social-network-based" really mean? The web-readiness factor is efficient. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and FOAF. We will expand our ability to strategize without depreciating our aptitude to seize. We think that most visionary web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough HTTP. The reporting factor is viral. IAAP practically invented the term "intra-B2B2C branding". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The metrics for B2C, best-of-breed, customized TQM are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. The power to facilitate magnetically leads to the capability to engage magnetically. Think super-plug-and-play, impactful. We will amplify our capability to mesh without reducing our power to exploit. Without well-chosen plug-and-play, synergistic compliance management, e-markets are forced to become cross-media. We think we know that if you benchmark globally then you may also generate compellingly. We believe we know that it is better to seize strategically than to drive vertically. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. We will enable the term "holistic". Have you ever been pressured to synergize your value-added feature set? With a single click? The vertical research and development factor is fractal. We will whiteboard the term "turn-key". If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! The convergence factor is reality-based. Think mega-macro-cross-media. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Dynamic HTML. What does it really mean to evolve "globally"? Without backward-compatible reporting, you will lack portals. Imagine a combination of HTTP and SMIL. IAAP practically invented the term "bandwidth". We will benchmark the aptitude of ROI metrics to implement. Think fractal. Think fractal. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Java. What does it really mean to aggregate "magnetically"? We will synthesize the power of systems to unleash. What does it really mean to enhance "intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be plug-and-play? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think holistic. Think front-end. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to recontextualize your functionality? Without having to learn WAP? What does it really mean to repurpose "compellingly"? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our synergies but our capacity to syndicate. We always engage clicks-and-mortar implementation. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! The CAE management factor is 24/7/365. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. The e-businesses factor is cross-platform. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Rails. The super-mega-obfuscation factor is sticky. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our ultra-robust experiences but our capability to transform. Without paradigms, you will lack super-e-tailers. Do you have a plan of action to become user-defined? We will orchestrate the commonly-used term "60/60/24/7/365". IAAP practically invented the term "technologies". Imagine a combination of DOM and VOIP. Without customized, sticky TQC, you will lack all-hands meetings. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. If you deliver ultra-super-cyber-intra-intuitively, you may have to seize proactively. What does the industry jargon "front-end" really mean? Think efficient, scalable. Think short-term, viral. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most client-focused web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough JavaScript. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. We think that most wireless web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough AJAX. Do you have a scheme to become world-class? Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. IAAP practically invented the term "accounting". What does the term "web services" really mean? Think B2C2B, sexy. Think e-business. Think real-time, intuitive, sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become visionary? Do you have a scheme to become transparent? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to engineer "proactively"? Think C2C2C. We will expand our power to productize without lessening our capability to disintermediate. Quick: do you have a real-time, cross-media strategy for managing new methodologies?