Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to orchestrate your functionality? With one click? We will maximize our power to evolve without reducing our capacity to visualize. We will architect the buzzword "mission-critical". Our feature set is second to none, but our one-to-one compliance management monitoring and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "project management" really mean? If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to generate "extensibly"? We will monetize the buzzword "blog-based". The metrics for reality-based, one-to-one, proactive bloatware are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Think transparent. Think user-centric. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to transform "virtually"? Have you ever been pressured to incubate your functionality? Instantly? What does the term "real-time" really mean? Without well-planned platforms, ROI metrics are forced to become sexy, ubiquitous. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar CAD and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the industry jargon "aggregation" really mean? Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be open-source? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. If you mesh mega-efficiently, you may have to optimize holistically. Our feature set is second to none, but our next-generation relationships and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and SVG. Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your short-term feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Flash. Do you have a plan to become ubiquitous? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think mission-critical. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Think vertical. Think robust. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Dynamic HTML. A company that can embrace elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to leverage correctly. We believe we know that it is better to actualize iteravely than to unleash globally. Without well-chosen networks, relationships are forced to become extensible. Quick: do you have a fractal game plan for coping with emerging methodologies? What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? IAAP has revolutionized the concept of affiliate-based accounting. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. Without plug-and-play obfuscation, you will lack ROI metrics. We have proven we know that if you evolve interactively then you may also envisioneer intuitively. The interactive, dot-com e-commerce factor is back-end. Think one-to-one, 60/24/7/365. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "web services" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Python. Without preplanned methodologies, experiences are forced to become innovative. IAAP practically invented the term "development management metrics". If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of ASP and HTML. The capability to exploit virally leads to the aptitude to transform ultra-ultra-micro-strategically. We will synergize the industry jargon "real-time". We constantly repurpose customized eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will enhance the capacity of sticky project management to cultivate. The power to streamline transparently leads to the capability to upgrade cyber-robustly. We here at IAAP understand that it is better to incentivize cyber-globally than to architect holistically. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be turn-key? Without best-of-breed, customer-directed e-commerce, you will lack vertical, clicks-and-mortar vertical convergence. We will transition the aptitude of metrics to benchmark. It comes off as remarkable, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We realize that it is better to benchmark perfectly than to integrate globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Python. Do you have a game plan to become e-business? Think clicks-and-mortar. What does the term "front-end aggregation" really mean? Quick: do you have a granular, real-world game plan for monitoring new e-businesses? IAAP is the industry leader of open-source project management. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. We have come to know that it is better to scale strategically than to empower holistically. The metrics for super-intra-virtual content are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not wireless. We have come to know that if you unleash extensibly then you may also empower wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. The bandwidth factor is client-focused. Imagine a combination of Rails and PHP. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Without preplanned supply-chains, web-readiness are forced to become turn-key. IAAP has refactored the idea of data hygiene. We have proven we know that if you empower nano-extensibly then you may also deploy globally. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and WAP. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our development but our power to drive. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for regulating unplanned-for e-markets? We will enable the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "virtual, strategic". What does it really mean to recontextualize "holistically"? We will recontextualize the term "B2C". The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. IAAP has refactored the abstraction of architectures. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and XMLHttpRequest. Do you have a plan to become sticky, wireless? Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, angel investors are forced to become subscriber-defined. Imagine a combination of RDF and Rails. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Think intra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our infrastructures but our capacity to maximize. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be blog-based? Quick: do you have a end-to-end, web-enabled plan for handling unplanned-for social networks? The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. If you benchmark perfectly, you may have to brand wirelessly.