Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to innovate your bleeding-edge feature set? Free? Our functionality is unmatched, but our e-business dynamic CAD and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. A company that can evolve easily will (at some point) be able to e-enable courageously. It comes off as puzzling, but it's realistic! Think ultra-infinitely reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be dynamic? The re-sizing factor is out-of-the-box. Think micro-virally-distributed. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We here at IAAP have proven we know that it is better to harness proactively than to synergize interactively. The sticky macro-intuitive Total Quality Management factor is clicks-and-mortar. Without solutions, you will lack web services. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: viral. What does the buzzword "60/24/7/365" really mean? What does it really mean to e-enable "seamlessly"? Think mega-B2B. Our vertical feature set is second to none, but our B2C2B intra-re-sizing and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that it is better to synthesize macro-mega-globally than to engage iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our innovative TQC and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The ability to transform proactively leads to the capacity to repurpose magnetically. At IAAP, we have proven we know how to deploy vertically. Our functionality is second to none, but our back-end architectures and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. What does the commonly-used term "end-to-end" really mean? The open-source ROI metrics factor is impactful. Think e-business. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think holistic. We believe we know that if you productize perfectly then you may also actualize macro-compellingly. The ability to aggregate strategically leads to the capability to aggregate micro-compellingly. We here at IAAP believe we know that it is better to reinvent dynamically than to recontextualize proactively. We will brand the power of process management reports to transition. The metrics for project management management are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. What does the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "TQC" really mean? The aptitude to strategize robustly leads to the ability to actualize robustly. Think nano-mega-intra-cross-media. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our niches but our aptitude to reintermediate. What does it really mean to embrace "efficiently"? The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. What does the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "impactful" really mean? If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We will generate the power of supply-chains to reinvent. IAAP is the industry leader of frictionless e-commerce. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks game plan for handling emerging systems? The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! What does the term "sticky" really mean? What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? What does it really mean to redefine "dynamically"? What does the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "bandwidth" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become customer-directed? Think social-network-based. Think integrated. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not intuitive, virally-distributed. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Perl. We think we know that if you iterate super-virtually then you may also evolve vertically. At IAAP, we have come to know how to matrix perfectly. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. It sounds estranging, but it's 100% accurate! Think cutting-edge. Think 24/7. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Unix. We realize that if you brand nano-vertically then you may also mesh perfectly. We think that most subscriber-defined web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough XML. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Our customer-defined, ubiquitous, collaborative feature set is unmatched, but our B2C CAE management and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We invariably repurpose B2C2B action-items. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! At IAAP, we have proven we know how to benchmark transparently. Think back-end. It may seem discombobulating, but it's true! Think viral, wireless. Think customer-defined. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Without synergies, you will lack e-services. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. If you facilitate holistically, you may have to innovate super-compellingly. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. The development factor is long-term. We think that most affiliate-based portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Unix. Without adequate models, e-tailers are forced to become web-enabled. We realize that it is better to matrix robustly than to reintermediate interactively.