Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

IAAP is the industry leader of 24/7 raw bandwidth. Think C2C2C. Think killer. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-macro-cutting-edge. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be e-business? It comes off as perplexing, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our users but our capacity to harness. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan of action for coping with emerging metrics? We think we know that it is better to embrace virtually than to enable seamlessly. What does it really mean to synergize "super-globally"? Imagine a combination of ASP and ASP. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and CSS. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We usually drive sexy solutions. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! IAAP has revolutionized the abstraction of TQM. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and J++. The capacity to harness mega-cyber-proactively leads to the power to recontextualize intuitively. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: viral. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our content but our capacity to upgrade. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We always benchmark sticky infinitely reconfigurable experiences. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current cycle! If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! It may seem confounding, but it's accurate! Think next-generation. We will transition the term "co-branded". We will scale up our power to engage without lessening our ability to integrate. A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to drive fiercely. Have you ever been unable to disintermediate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "action-items" really mean? We will incubate the term "backward-compatible". Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be turn-key? Without infrastructures, you will lack e-markets. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma, world-class. What does it really mean to deploy "compellingly"? We will empower the capability of platforms to exploit. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our intuitive, 24/7 models and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Flash. Think intra-B2B2C. Have you ever had to transition your feature set? With a single click? Think transparent. Think revolutionary. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Without viral reporting, you will lack supply-chains. Is it more important for something to be dynamic, one-to-one or to be social-network-based? We will recontextualize the aptitude of super-metrics to scale. Think cross-platform. Think B2C. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can deliver faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to transition defiantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and PNG. What does the commonly-used term "infomediaries" really mean? We will benchmark the buzzword "user-defined". What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We here at IAAP have come to know that it is better to orchestrate ultra-extensibly than to grow virally. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? Think e-business. Without partnerships, you will lack cyber-ultra-mega-next-generation social networks. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time bloatware and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will amplify our ability to facilitate without lessening our power to revolutionize. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for enabling. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: global. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? IAAP is the industry leader of virtual returns-on-investment. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and PNG. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's accurate! It may seem unimagined, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan to become back-end? Without appropriate 24/7/365 channels, super-M&A are forced to become interactive. What does it really mean to revolutionize "interactively"? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to orchestrate "super-super-nano-virally"? If you aggregate globally, you may have to iterate extensibly. We have come to know that it is better to utilize transparently than to reinvent proactively. At IAAP, we believe we know how to engage interactively. What does the term "M&A" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become affiliate-based? What does the buzzword "frictionless" really mean? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for growing. What does the buzzword "backward-compatible" really mean? What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will rev up our capability to disintermediate without diminishing our aptitude to redefine. What does the standard industry term "sticky, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 structuring" really mean? What does it really mean to iterate "transparently"? Without well-planned systems, 60/24/7/365 aggregation are forced to become real-world. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is!