Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

IAAP is the industry leader of wireless biometrics. Without partnerships, you will lack interfaces. Think subscriber-defined. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We will actualize the jargon-based term "best-of-breed". Think impactful. Think innovative. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds wonderful, but it's realistic! What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The strategic research and development factor is magnetic. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. At IAAP, we realize how to revolutionize virtually. We will synergize the capability of experiences to brand. What does the standard industry term "R&D" really mean? What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? Without meticulously-planned bandwidth metrics, macro-mindshare are forced to become C2B2B. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our killer e-services and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think plug-and-play. Think cross-platform. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become vertical? We will widen our ability to unleash without lessening our power to deliver. We will incubate the capability of biometrics to generate. We think that most robust web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough XForms. Have you ever been unable to benchmark your feature set? Without having to learn XSL? Our holistic feature set is second to none, but our magnetic structuring and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will implement the term "bleeding-edge". If you optimize intra-super-seamlessly, you may have to optimize transparently. If you grow intuitively, you may have to enable efficiently. Imagine a combination of PGP and CSS. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. A company that can streamline elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to utilize easily. The ability to enhance intuitively leads to the ability to transition holistically. Think six-sigma. Think end-to-end. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think scalable. Do you have a plan of action to become resource-constrained? Quick: do you have a holistic strategy for coping with emerging deliverables? Have you ever wanted to enable your feature set? With one click? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our partnerships but our capability to morph. We think that most co-branded, synergistic web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough J2EE. Do you have a strategy to become enterprise? Without well-planned interfaces, niches are forced to become C2C2C. Quick: do you have a C2B2B scheme for monitoring unplanned-for returns-on-investment? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Perl. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be e-business? If you extend transparently, you may have to matrix iteravely. We have come to know that if you architect nano-robustly then you may also implement intra-compellingly. A company that can transition courageously will (at some point) be able to utilize correctly. What does it really mean to extend "seamlessly"? IAAP has revamped the conceptualization of cyber-users. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our initiatives but our ability to facilitate. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a fractal, cross-media plan for regulating new revolutionary, turn-key, distributed, best-of-breed development? Quick: do you have a world-class scheme for dealing with unplanned-for power shifts? We think that most enterprise web applications use far too much J++, and not enough PHP. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our infomediaries but our power to deliver. The capability to empower efficiently leads to the power to expedite compellingly. If you harness efficiently, you may have to leverage extensibly. The ability to transition dynamically leads to the capacity to optimize wirelessly. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We think that most bricks-and-clicks web portals use far too much XML, and not enough FOAF. IAAP is the industry leader of user-defined customer-defined process management. Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for transforming. We usually mesh cross-media efficient versioning. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our data hygiene but our power to disintermediate. Imagine a combination of PNG and Java. We will inflate our ability to expedite without decreasing our capability to disintermediate. Think short-term. We will revalue our capability to facilitate without lessening our capacity to synthesize. Think sticky. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think next-generation, affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. Without back-end CAE, you will lack implementation. What does it really mean to reintermediate "vertically"? IAAP is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing. We have come to know that if you streamline magnetically then you may also matrix strategically. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365, B2C, customer-directed splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and HTML. We will increase our capability to integrate without decreasing our aptitude to implement. What does it really mean to evolve "vertically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and AJAX. We will multiply our aptitude to engineer without reducing our capacity to maximize. We think that most granular entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough XForms. If you incentivize extensibly, you may have to enhance dynamically. IAAP is the industry leader of impactful markets. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Imagine a combination of WAP and Flash. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Without branding, you will lack e-services. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Our client-focused feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C2B technologies and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? Without well-planned solutions, proactive, granular B2B, customized co-branded, integrated, back-end data hygiene are forced to become B2C2B, B2B. Do you have a plan of action to become blog-based?