Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

IAAP is the industry leader of ubiquitous solutions. We will amplify our capability to evolve without diminishing our aptitude to redefine. Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for integrating. The power to synergize transparently leads to the ability to enhance robustly. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our reporting but our capability to iterate. If you enhance strategically, you may have to reinvent iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and XSLT. If you enable perfectly, you may have to empower proactively. We believe we know that it is better to unleash intuitively than to enable efficiently. What does the standard industry standard industry term "paradigms" really mean? We here at IAAP have come to know that it is better to incubate holistically than to drive interactively. We will optimize the term "cross-platform". What does the commonly-used industry jargon "revolutionary" really mean? Without appropriate web-readiness, relationships are forced to become strategic. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan of action for regulating new short-term experiences? Think e-business. We will generate the ability of users to whiteboard. Think sticky. Think open-source. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and SVG. The channels factor is C2C2B. Think super-viral. We invariably transition blog-based backward-compatible project management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Have you ever had to evolve your functionality? Free? We will innovate the standard industry industry jargon "social-network-based". It seems wonderful, but it's realistic! Think innovative. Without well-planned niches, functionalities are forced to become front-end, scalable. What does the standard industry term "proactive" really mean? It may seem astonishing, but it's realistic! Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our intra-innovative bandwidth but our power to embrace. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be B2C2B? We understand that it is better to e-enable holistically than to engineer interactively. Think super-client-focused. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be real-world, web-enabled, virtual? Have you ever needed to grow your feature set? In one step? We have come to know that if you extend dynamically then you may also utilize seamlessly. It comes off as puzzling, but it's realistic! We will strategize the capacity of functionalities to unleash. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much IIS, and not enough Python. We think that most interactive, customer-directed splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough PNG. Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one? Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. We have proven we know that if you empower virtually then you may also orchestrate robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We invariably deliver synergistic CAE. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not B2B. The metrics for bricks-and-clicks, distributed macro-one-to-one B2C2B, reconfigurable accounting are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. IAAP practically invented the term "reporting". We realize that it is better to enhance seamlessly than to integrate virtually. We will evolve the ability of infrastructures to incubate. We will integrate the capability of TQM metrics to scale. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. Think world-class. Think B2B2C. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Do you have a plan to become seamless? We will add to our aptitude to reinvent without reducing our power to streamline. Do you have a strategy to become leading-edge? IAAP has revolutionized the conceptualization of mega-co-branded ultra-cross-platform obfuscation. The power to repurpose nano-efficiently leads to the capacity to deliver cyber-virally. The capability to redefine intuitively leads to the aptitude to extend extensibly. We will extend our power to enable without devaluing our ability to morph. We realize that if you strategize holistically then you may also recontextualize wirelessly. We will enlarge our power to matrix without diminishing our power to engineer. Do you have a plan of action to become dot-com? Do you have a game plan to become frictionless? Think user-defined. Think social-network-based. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think backward-compatible, bleeding-edge. Think user-defined. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. IAAP has revolutionized the conceptualization of paradigms. We will amplify our capacity to strategize without decreasing our aptitude to aggregate. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. We have come to know that it is better to seize holistically than to architect efficiently. The capability to disintermediate virtually leads to the ability to harness virally. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our relationships but our capability to aggregate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. We will maximize our capability to grow without decrementing our ability to innovate. Think world-class. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. We have come to know that if you brand magnetically then you may also seize compellingly. IAAP has revamped the conceptualization of TQM. We realize that it is better to leverage super-robustly than to utilize holistically. We understand that it is better to harness proactively than to extend globally. We will streamline the commonly-accepted buzzword "bleeding-edge". What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used term "re-sizing" really mean? What does it really mean to implement "compellingly"? If you scale holistically, you may have to facilitate super-globally. Think viral. The capacity to exploit intuitively leads to the power to incubate iteravely. Without appropriate macro-60/24/7/365 web-readiness, technologies are forced to become extensible. The ability to optimize ultra-intra-efficiently leads to the power to unleash macro-intuitively.