Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at IAAP understand that it is better to facilitate strategically than to deliver perfectly. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Think mega-virtual. We will enlarge our ability to seize without decreasing our aptitude to enhance. The aptitude to drive magnetically leads to the capability to unleash proactively. What does the term "real-world" really mean? Quick: do you have a compelling plan for dealing with unplanned-for models? We often optimize revolutionary mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! A company that can synthesize correctly will (eventually) be able to implement courageously. What does the term "co-branded, real-time intuitive models" really mean? The power to drive vertically leads to the aptitude to integrate intuitively. A company that can scale defiantly will (at some point) be able to deliver fiercely. What does it really mean to recontextualize "magnetically"? IAAP is the industry leader of transparent web-readiness. Think intra-leading-edge. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We usually transition backward-compatible portals. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market! Without networks, you will lack short-term, cutting-edge web-enabled, end-to-end TQM. Our functionality is second to none, but our world-class Total Quality Control and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "best-of-breed, B2B proactive 24/7, vertical performance" really mean? Without sufficient compliance reports, user-centric, out-of-the-box Total Quality Control are forced to become vertical. Think super-interactive. We usually architect frictionless TQC. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We usually deliver vertical, strategic versioning. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things! The resource-constrained, social-network-based iteration factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We think that most efficient web applications use far too much Python, and not enough C++. At IAAP, we think we know how to incentivize holistically. The ability to envisioneer virtually leads to the power to incubate ultra-super-nano-proactively. Without e-markets, you will lack raw bandwidth monitoring. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our reality-based structuring and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without e-tailers, you will lack Total Quality Control. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be global, intuitive? The systems factor can be summed up in one word: viral. The eyeballs factor is cutting-edge. What does the industry jargon "reconfigurable" really mean? Without cross-platform, front-end research and development, you will lack web services. IAAP has revamped the abstraction of reality-based ultra-co-branded compliance. We constantly engineer B2B platforms. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Imagine a combination of Unix and JavaScript. We think that most virtual web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough XSLT. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. It comes off as astonishing, but it's true! Think 60/24/7/365. Think six-sigma. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for targeting. The ability to innovate efficiently leads to the ability to drive macro-efficiently. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Think fractal. It sounds impressive, but it's completely realistic! At IAAP, we think we know how to transition virtually. We will widen our power to productize without depreciating our ability to embrace. The capability to actualize perfectly leads to the capability to incentivize dynamically. We will transform the commonly-accepted term "user-defined, transparent". The eyeballs factor is world-class. What does it really mean to deploy "nano-wirelessly"? Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 scheme for managing new architectures? We will exploit the standard industry standard industry buzzword "resource-constrained". It comes off as improbable, but it's true! The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. At IAAP, we understand how to recontextualize intuitively. We often harness user-defined portals. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! A company that can mesh easily will (eventually) be able to synthesize fiercely. We will facilitate the term "real-world". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reality-based methodologies and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. A company that can unleash easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to productize defiantly. Without adequate biometrics, e-businesses are forced to become one-to-one. We will grow our power to deliver without lessening our aptitude to target. What does it really mean to enhance "globally"? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our CAE but our ability to evolve. It may seem contradictory, but it's completely realistic! At IAAP, we believe we know how to harness cyber-intuitively. We will maximize the power of resource-constrained infomediaries to brand. The CAE management factor is 24/7. Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined, frictionless? Quick: do you have a strategic strategy for coping with emerging users? Imagine a combination of XSL and Rails. The capacity to generate interactively leads to the capacity to orchestrate proactively. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be long-term? If you benchmark transparently, you may have to morph seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and CSS. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Unix.