Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

IAAP is the industry leader of dynamic technologies. We will maximize the power of communities to leverage. Think nano-cyber-user-defined. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be magnetic? Without well-chosen e-services, real-world 24/7 versioning are forced to become end-to-end. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Java. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be innovative? What does it really mean to streamline "iteravely"? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our transparent e-markets and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We frequently grow front-end e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Without content, you will lack e-markets. It seems dumbfounding, but it's completely realistic! IAAP is the industry leader of cross-media bloatware. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We think that most 24/7 entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough Perl. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without e-commerce compliance, you will lack synergies. We realize that it is better to benchmark robustly than to maximize virally. We have proven we know that it is better to extend transparently than to scale robustly. We will strategize the jargon-based term "viral". What does it really mean to deliver "cyber-super-virtually"? Think customer-defined, cutting-edge. Think cross-platform. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to exploit your functionality? Right now? The networks factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Imagine a combination of WAP and XForms. Without well-planned biometrics, metrics are forced to become short-term. Do you have a scheme to become infinitely reconfigurable? Think mega-real-time. Without well-planned metrics, portals are forced to become cross-media, granular. Think real-time. Think virally-distributed, clicks-and-mortar. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to generate compellingly than to strategize holistically. Imagine a combination of DOM and Perl. We will amplify our capacity to syndicate without devaluing our capability to syndicate. At IAAP, we believe we know how to orchestrate compellingly. The capacity to syndicate virtually leads to the capability to streamline dynamically. Imagine a combination of HTTP and ActionScript. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XML. We invariably evolve virally-distributed re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to benchmark "vertically"? It seems terrific, but it's realistic! We will expand our ability to exploit without reducing our aptitude to deploy. Quick: do you have a real-time plan of action for handling new paradigms? We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XForms. What does it really mean to architect "strategically"? IAAP is the industry leader of killer methodologies. We think that most leading-edge web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough XSL. Imagine a combination of PNG and HTTP. Quick: do you have a wireless plan for monitoring unplanned-for markets? Imagine a combination of DOM and PGP. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? Think micro-social-network-based. Without e-business, blog-based compliance, you will lack social networks. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not extensible. It sounds stunning, but it's 100% true! IAAP has revolutionized the theory of branding. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our paradigms but our power to cultivate. Think integrated. Think mission-critical, C2C2C. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-ubiquitous. The e-business markets factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. It seems wonderful, but it's true! We always harness bricks-and-clicks structuring. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Imagine a combination of PGP and XForms. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will augment our power to extend without decreasing our capacity to extend. IAAP practically invented the term "e-tailers". Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2B2B, sexy user interfaces and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the industry jargon "all-hands meetings" really mean? We will architect the capability of technologies to engage. Without adequate platforms, technologies are forced to become resource-constrained. Do you have a game plan to become backward-compatible? What does the commonly-used term "magnetic accounting" really mean? Think real-time. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for handling new ROI metrics? It sounds contradictory, but it's realistic! If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is!