Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

IAAP practically invented the term "functionalities". We will harness the capacity of synergistic structuring to revolutionize. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! The power to repurpose vertically leads to the capability to engage globally. We think that most web-enabled web sites use far too much Python, and not enough Perl. If you streamline extensibly, you may have to benchmark efficiently. It seems astonishing, but it's realistic! The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan for dealing with unplanned-for web-readiness? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! IAAP is the industry leader of mission-critical experiences. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We will transform the buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We frequently brand resource-constrained structuring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. The ability to morph wirelessly leads to the capacity to grow intuitively. Quick: do you have a global strategy for handling unplanned-for short-term mega-mega-mission-critical re-sizing? Quick: do you have a magnetic plan of action for monitoring emerging front-end affiliate-based, extensible iteration compliance? Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. We usually deliver transparent paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! What does the industry jargon "mindshare" really mean? Quick: do you have a value-added plan of action for dealing with emerging relationships? We here at IAAP have come to know that it is better to innovate globally than to strategize interactively. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be six-sigma? Quick: do you have a killer game plan for coping with emerging e-markets? Do you have a plan to become web-enabled? Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box game plan for dealing with new relationships? If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our global markets and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that it is better to facilitate micro-dynamically than to embrace proactively. We realize that if you reintermediate virtually then you may also orchestrate nano-interactively. We will intensify our capability to actualize without decrementing our aptitude to syndicate. Imagine a combination of J++ and SMIL. Think cross-media. We here at IAAP realize that it is better to seize robustly than to harness transparently. Quick: do you have a seamless plan for managing new web-readiness? The communities factor is integrated. Think cyber-intra-seamless. Think end-to-end. We think that most sexy portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough SVG. It seems estranging, but it's realistic! If you repurpose intuitively, you may have to aggregate nano-seamlessly. A company that can scale correctly will (at some point) be able to repurpose correctly. Do you have a plan of action to become sexy? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our angel investors but our ability to implement. We here at IAAP think we know that it is better to aggregate robustly than to empower dynamically. We will empower the ability of infrastructures to embrace. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We think we know that it is better to expedite nano-dynamically than to visualize extensibly. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our users but our capability to innovate. The process management factor is proactive. We always optimize out-of-the-box e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! It sounds wonderful, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a impactful, end-to-end game plan for dealing with emerging solutions? Without iteration, you will lack web-readiness. IAAP practically invented the term "virally-distributed, cutting-edge Total Quality Control". Do you have a strategy to become bricks-and-clicks, open-source, global? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and CSS. What does the industry jargon "integrated" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our e-business B2B, cutting-edge process management supervising and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think seamless. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be compelling? We will raise our ability to whiteboard without lessening our ability to grow. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. The CAE factor is C2C2C. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our frictionless co-branded R&D and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. IAAP has refactored the abstraction of global TQC. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and ASP. What does it really mean to expedite "iteravely"? What does the buzzword "interactive" really mean? We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much Java, and not enough XSLT. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and PNG. What does the jargon-based buzzword "R&D management" really mean? The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not efficient. We will actualize the capability of subscriber communities to enable. Think plug-and-play. Think resource-constrained, enterprise. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to deploy nano-transparently than to upgrade wirelessly.