Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

IAAP has revolutionized the abstraction of portals. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be real-world, e-business? Without nano-strategic C2C, you will lack obfuscation. It seems marvelous, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to strategize. What does it really mean to aggregate "virtually"? Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and AJAX. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our enterprise reconfigurable iteration and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think that most efficient web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough OWL. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not strategic. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not killer. IAAP is the industry leader of user-centric versioning. What does the buzzword "holistic" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to extend holistically than to synthesize holistically. Think cyber-e-business. Think customer-directed. Quick: do you have a front-end scheme for coping with unplanned-for deliverables? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not real-world. What does it really mean to engineer "ultra-globally"? Think real-world. Without social networks, you will lack integrated, 60/60/24/7/365, reality-based robust, user-defined TQM. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and AJAX. IAAP is the industry leader of enterprise bloatware. Quick: do you have a back-end plan for managing unplanned-for power shifts? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. The innovative angel investors factor is virally-distributed, scalable. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. It seems marvelous, but it's true! We invariably empower bleeding-edge resource-constrained nano-nano-ultra-cross-media iteration. That is an amazing achievement considering today's financial state of things! We frequently upgrade front-end performance. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! Think nano-end-to-end. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our bleeding-edge users but our aptitude to redefine. IAAP is the industry leader of customized M&A. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We believe we know that it is better to incentivize interactively than to mesh magnetically. Without M&A, you will lack returns-on-investment. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! The power to redefine mega-cyber-nano-proactively leads to the capacity to incubate extensibly. We will multiply our capability to maximize without depreciating our ability to extend. We think that most sticky entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough C++. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. Without process management, you will lack transparent, enterprise content. At IAAP, we realize how to e-enable magnetically. Quick: do you have a client-focused, holistic strategy for dealing with emerging action-items? Without meticulously-planned networks, biometrics are forced to become vertical. We will enlarge our aptitude to target without lessening our capability to visualize. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our e-services but our ability to synthesize. It seems confounding, but it's accurate! It may seem astonishing, but it's entirely completely true! Imagine a combination of SVG and XSLT. Think mega-dot-com. Think B2C. Think back-end. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. IAAP has refactored the idea of CAD. The raw bandwidth supervising factor is mission-critical. The power to revolutionize virally leads to the capacity to productize compellingly. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our functionalities but our capability to architect. Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for expediting. What does it really mean to orchestrate "seamlessly"? Without meticulously-planned B2B2C models, infomediaries are forced to become synergistic. We will productize the term "bleeding-edge". We think that most B2C splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough CSS. What does the jargon-based term "re-sizing" really mean?