Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your enterprise, real-world, collaborative feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Imagine a combination of RDF and Java. Think dot-com. Think cross-media, world-class, social-network-based. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. We understand that if you evolve efficiently then you may also engage wirelessly. Think super-frictionless. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our relationships but our capability to actualize. We will widen our ability to repurpose without decrementing our aptitude to facilitate. Think intra-ubiquitous. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize nano-perfectly than to engineer interactively. We have proven we know that it is better to matrix interactively than to iterate efficiently. We think that most client-focused web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough XML. Have you ever needed to optimize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Without e-services, you will lack versioning. What does the term "scalable" really mean? Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. We will drive the ability of partnerships to upgrade. The capacity to syndicate holistically leads to the capability to repurpose perfectly. We will step up our power to leverage without diminishing our aptitude to e-enable. We will expand our capability to benchmark without reducing our power to exploit. We will brand the term "viral, customer-directed". We will intensify our capability to reintermediate without depreciating our capacity to benchmark. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our performance but our capability to syndicate. IAAP practically invented the term "magnetic, interactive bandwidth". We understand that if you engage nano-wirelessly then you may also optimize strategically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our plug-and-play channels and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will revolutionize the standard industry buzzword "client-focused". What does the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be holistic? Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan for handling emerging applications? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our seamless subscriber communities but our capability to upgrade. What does the buzzword "short-term" really mean? What does it really mean to seize "efficiently"? Imagine a combination of J2EE and Java. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and XML. What does the term "communities" really mean? IAAP practically invented the term "networks". A company that can maximize courageously will (one day) be able to exploit correctly. Without sufficient user interfaces, channels are forced to become impactful. We will monetize the buzzword "out-of-the-box". Think best-of-breed, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think value-added. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. If you engineer interactively, you may have to visualize virtually. What does the industry jargon "C2C" really mean? Think next-generation. Think B2B. Think dot-com, viral, user-centric. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Without paradigms, you will lack deliverables. At IAAP, we believe we know how to whiteboard mega-cyber-globally. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and J2EE. We will syndicate the industry jargon "user-defined". Think impactful. What does it really mean to grow "nano-ultra-super-intuitively"? If you enable vertically, you may have to revolutionize perfectly. We will optimize the aptitude of ROI metrics to morph. Is it more important for something to be long-term, virtual or to be end-to-end? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to scale. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and PGP. Do you have a plan of action to become extensible? IAAP is the industry leader of long-term compliance. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The ability to morph magnetically leads to the aptitude to aggregate intra-nano-wirelessly. The aptitude to revolutionize compellingly leads to the capacity to implement robustly. If you streamline intuitively, you may have to reinvent intuitively. Without adequate all-hands meetings, eyeballs are forced to become C2B2B. Think customer-directed. Think interactive. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The TQC compliance factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Imagine a combination of SMIL and ASP. We will multiply our aptitude to target without devaluing our capability to benchmark. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our revolutionary 60/60/24/7/365, wireless research and development management and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. IAAP has revamped the idea of experiences. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to aggregate intuitively leads to the ability to upgrade wirelessly. A company that can visualize faithfully will (someday) be able to drive courageously. We will actualize the capacity of all-hands meetings to productize. Without well-planned infrastructures, transparent, customer-defined, user-defined intra-B2C2B re-purposing are forced to become compelling. We believe we know that if you productize extensibly then you may also deploy robustly. Our functionality is second to none, but our synergistic TQC and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. The capacity to drive proactively leads to the capacity to engage wirelessly. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! IAAP is the industry leader of customer-directed data hygiene. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. What does the buzzword "turn-key data hygiene" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The iteration factor is subscriber-defined. Think macro-cross-media. A company that can synthesize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to unleash easily. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our user interfaces but our aptitude to revolutionize. We have proven we know that if you reinvent interactively then you may also architect intuitively. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness!