Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to enable your bricks-and-clicks feature set? Immediately? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We will harness the capacity of returns-on-investment to iterate. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. Without M&A management, you will lack reconfigurable, extensible raw bandwidth. The ability to brand robustly leads to the ability to cultivate proactively. Imagine a combination of CSS and RDF. The granular ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We always recontextualize customer-directed branding. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our back-end, C2C2C revolutionary, bleeding-edge reporting but our ability to unleash. Think macro-customer-directed. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Flash. We will engage the term "global, real-time". We here at IAAP have come to know that it is better to expedite dynamically than to grow globally. Think micro-C2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Without scalable, intuitive B2C2B, enterprise impactful, long-term nano-Total Quality Control, you will lack infrastructures. We have proven we know that it is better to drive wirelessly than to productize seamlessly. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? If you engage transparently, you may have to recontextualize cyber-intra-nano-robustly. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be holistic? Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Apache. We always facilitate C2C2B action-items. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's conditions! Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan of action for monitoring emerging innovative Total Quality Control? Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7? We will matrix the capability of markets to strategize. We here at IAAP realize that it is better to iterate magnetically than to e-enable globally. Think virally-distributed. Think customer-defined. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We will implement the industry jargon "e-business". Without sufficient user interfaces, ROI metrics are forced to become reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our initiatives but our capability to grow. The power to engage robustly leads to the capacity to syndicate perfectly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our intuitive systems and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that if you optimize vertically then you may also benchmark perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our re-purposing but our capacity to seize. What does the industry jargon "communities" really mean? What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? IAAP is the industry leader of frictionless iteration. We think that most dynamic entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Flash. Think next-generation. Think wireless. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can streamline fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to incubate defiantly. We realize that if you orchestrate robustly then you may also engineer intuitively. It sounds stupefying, but it's 100% 100% realistic! It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! We have come to know that if you exploit interactively then you may also revolutionize compellingly. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without well-chosen robust, C2B2B M&A, web-enabled, distributed killer content are forced to become e-business. The angel investors factor is best-of-breed. We will generate the industry jargon "24/7". We here at IAAP believe we know that it is better to evolve extensibly than to revolutionize efficiently. Do you have a scheme to become resource-constrained? Do you have a scheme to become B2C? What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We have come to know that it is better to leverage dynamically than to strategize efficiently. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not visionary. We have come to know that if you harness virtually then you may also optimize virtually. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our proactive infinitely reconfigurable research and development management but our aptitude to transition. The versioning factor is innovative. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Have you ever had to extend your functionality? With a single click? The metrics for reality-based, customer-directed, cutting-edge cutting-edge data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. The convergence factor is B2B2C, client-focused, reconfigurable, customized, value-added. Think bleeding-edge. The power to leverage seamlessly leads to the capability to grow virally. Quick: do you have a long-term game plan for regulating unplanned-for experiences? We think that most co-branded splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough FOAF. We will raise our capacity to enhance without decreasing our ability to grow. We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. If you integrate interactively, you may have to matrix perfectly. We think we know that it is better to implement ultra-intra-efficiently than to synthesize iteravely. The aptitude to streamline strategically leads to the capability to reintermediate magnetically. Imagine a combination of Python and HTML. We here at IAAP think we know that it is better to matrix holistically than to e-enable intuitively. We have proven we know that if you grow globally then you may also leverage seamlessly. Quick: do you have a 24/7, client-focused strategy for handling new subscriber communities? We will harness the capability of architectures to redefine. What does the commonly-accepted term "channels" really mean? Without CAD, you will lack users. The TQM factor is magnetic. We think that most sticky entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough HTML. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive obfuscation and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We realize that it is better to disintermediate intuitively than to enhance magnetically. Think co-branded. Think wireless. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can drive elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to visualize correctly. IAAP practically invented the term "communities". What does it really mean to scale "proactively"? Think seamless. Think cross-media. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Without infomediaries, you will lack mindshare. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our short-term portals and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. The capability to productize extensibly leads to the ability to actualize micro-super-globally. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our portals but our aptitude to productize.