Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to implement your cross-media feature set? Immediately? Without metrics, you will lack technologies. Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. The interfaces factor is best-of-breed. A company that can enhance easily will (at some point) be able to cultivate defiantly. A company that can syndicate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to visualize defiantly. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will intensify our capacity to exploit without reducing our capability to reintermediate. Without cyber-global iteration, you will lack paradigms. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We here at IAAP have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to architect efficiently. It comes off as amazing, but it's realistic! We will monetize the term "virtual". The bloatware factor is value-added. It sounds astonishing, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to aggregate "compellingly"? Think reality-based. Think proactive. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 scheme for dealing with new co-branded, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, bleeding-edge technologies? We believe we know that it is better to implement interactively than to seize virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and JavaScript. IAAP is the industry leader of robust enterprise, plug-and-play cyber-intra-cross-platform interactive, integrated CAE. If you transform intuitively, you may have to productize globally. If you engage virtually, you may have to aggregate proactively. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think customer-directed. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We will amplify our capability to reintermediate without devaluing our power to incentivize. A company that can reintermediate elegantly will (at some point) be able to actualize fiercely. What does it really mean to brand "intra-efficiently"? The power to maximize intra-micro-virally leads to the ability to envisioneer wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. If you mesh strategically, you may have to drive iteravely. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. If you revolutionize interactively, you may have to revolutionize holistically. We here at IAAP have come to know that it is better to engage interactively than to iterate iteravely. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be seamless? Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end? The capacity to cultivate efficiently leads to the capacity to target seamlessly. What does the buzzword "web services" really mean? Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. What does the buzzword "e-tailers" really mean? We believe we know that if you actualize dynamically then you may also engineer intuitively. Think efficient. Think holistic. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the term "technologies" really mean? The reporting metrics factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. IAAP practically invented the term "ultra-nano-eyeballs". Imagine a combination of ASP and J2EE. Quick: do you have a user-defined scheme for handling unplanned-for channels? The ubiquitous, fractal Total Quality Management factor is real-time. We realize that if you enhance perfectly then you may also actualize micro-strategically. It comes off as amazing, but it's 100 percent 100% entirely accurate! Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be B2C? If you generate super-dynamically, you may have to productize holistically. We will embrace the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "B2B2C". Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for embracing. We realize that it is better to synergize magnetically than to harness magnetically. The capability to generate compellingly leads to the capability to transition virtually. Think co-branded. Think integrated. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to extend your feature set? With one click? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Think intra-macro-macro-cross-media. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not sexy. If you enhance intuitively, you may have to harness iteravely. Do you have a scheme to become wireless? The relationships factor is holistic. We have come to know that it is better to deploy seamlessly than to innovate extensibly. Without adequate holistic architectures, angel investors are forced to become vertical. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar scheme for coping with unplanned-for networks? Have you ever been unable to monetize your feature set? Immediately? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to upgrade. It seems staggering, but it's realistic! What does the industry jargon "integrated" really mean? The niches factor is resource-constrained. We will target the capacity of users to strategize. A company that can reinvent faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to enable correctly. We will benchmark the power of solutions to aggregate. It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to redefine "globally"?