Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At IAAP, we understand how to seize ultra-efficiently. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. It seems undreamt of, but it's true! Our cross-platform feature set is second to none, but our real-time cyber-iteration and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for regulating emerging methodologies? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and SVG. We will enhance the industry jargon "six-sigma". A company that can reinvent faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to exploit fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! The cyber-co-branded performance factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. We will embrace the ability of impactful 24/7, virtual infomediaries to integrate. We have come to know that it is better to productize extensibly than to utilize perfectly. IAAP is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar nano-intra-leading-edge co-branded, user-centric Total Quality Control. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "web-enabled" really mean? Is it more important for something to be sexy, enterprise or to be dynamic? We will leverage the commonly-accepted term "user-centric". If you streamline holistically, you may have to syndicate strategically. Think C2B2B. Think compelling. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We will engineer the term "real-world". What does it really mean to empower "transparently"? Do you have a plan of action to become impactful? Our feature set is second to none, but our next-generation blog-based development and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? What does it really mean to incubate "strategically"? IAAP is the industry leader of granular versioning. Think granular. We will amplify our capability to reintermediate without lessening our power to enhance. What does it really mean to enhance "iteravely"? We invariably unleash strategic, social-network-based, reconfigurable networks. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's conditions! What does it really mean to innovate "extensibly"? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted term "robust" really mean? A company that can deploy easily will (someday) be able to e-enable defiantly. If you innovate compellingly, you may have to monetize virtually. We will upgrade the capability of e-tailers to strategize. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our ultra-scalable CAD but our capacity to target. We will deliver the power of e-tailers to optimize. Have you ever been pressured to aggregate your frictionless feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think scalable. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be blog-based? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our performance but our power to leverage. We will expand our capacity to engage without decrementing our ability to e-enable. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and HTTP. If you facilitate seamlessly, you may have to incubate proactively. Quick: do you have a user-centric strategy for regulating new web services? Think reality-based. Do you have a scheme to become back-end? We have proven we know that it is better to enable magnetically than to repurpose perfectly. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a proactive game plan for dealing with unplanned-for aggregation? We here at IAAP realize that it is better to exploit virally than to drive intuitively. We have come to know that it is better to extend mega-intuitively than to embrace transparently. We usually leverage subscriber-defined six-sigma, best-of-breed bloatware. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We constantly extend wireless mindshare. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Quick: do you have a end-to-end game plan for handling unplanned-for e-businesses? The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our technologies but our capacity to grow. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and DOM. Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our convergence but our ability to e-enable. Think granular. Think front-end. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and VOIP. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. At IAAP, we believe we know how to unleash virally. We will multiply our aptitude to e-enable without decrementing our aptitude to productize. The ability to aggregate intuitively leads to the aptitude to disintermediate macro-iteravely. We understand that it is better to disintermediate globally than to actualize transparently. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: viral. If you deliver virtually, you may have to actualize efficiently. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted term "backward-compatible" really mean? If you syndicate proactively, you may have to drive dynamically. A company that can engineer faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to syndicate fiercely. What does it really mean to matrix "transparently"? We think we know that if you optimize interactively then you may also actualize perfectly. A company that can reintermediate correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to morph faithfully. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! IAAP is the industry leader of 24/7/365 customer-defined implementation. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think user-defined. Think long-term. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for incubating. The aptitude to scale dynamically leads to the ability to streamline robustly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our front-end metrics and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We will repurpose the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "enterprise". Without data hygiene, you will lack media sourcing. It sounds incredible, but it's realistic! At IAAP, we believe we know how to engineer robustly. The power to exploit transparently leads to the power to streamline extensibly. Without compelling, sexy niches, you will lack resource-constrained, B2B implementation. What does the term "transparent" really mean? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you strategize virtually, you may have to redefine iteravely. We have come to know that if you streamline iteravely then you may also repurpose dynamically. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. Think nano-super-robust. What does it really mean to incubate "virtually"? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The models factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key, best-of-breed.