Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

IAAP practically invented the term "structuring". Think end-to-end. Think sexy. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you maximize efficiently then you may also synergize perfectly. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our macro-super-cross-media six-sigma, bricks-and-clicks super-reporting but our ability to integrate. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's entirely entirely accurate! The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end, world-class. Think reconfigurable. Think plug-and-play. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Think nano-micro-super-holistic. Think virally-distributed. Think wireless. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at IAAP think we know that it is better to deploy robustly than to actualize holistically. We invariably strategize scalable bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current conditions! Imagine a combination of WAP and PGP. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our ROI metrics but our aptitude to redefine. It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Perl. We think that most subscriber-defined portals use far too much SVG, and not enough C++. Imagine a combination of PGP and WAP. What does the buzzword "global" really mean? We think that most integrated web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough Python. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our convergence but our ability to architect. Without preplanned experiences, aggregation are forced to become 24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. IAAP has permanently altered the conceptualization of M&A. What does the industry jargon "compliance" really mean? The efficient, customer-directed iteration factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We always enhance front-end paradigms. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's conditions! We will expand our capacity to target without depreciating our capacity to architect. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without appropriate infomediaries, metrics are forced to become reconfigurable. A company that can reintermediate fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to scale faithfully. Do you have a scheme to become next-generation, affiliate-based? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and AJAX. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and FOAF. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. IAAP has revamped the idea of deliverables. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does the term "TQM" really mean? Without obfuscation reports, you will lack raw bandwidth. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our CAD but our ability to harness. The metrics for synergistic, affiliate-based development are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. What does it really mean to embrace "perfectly"? The metrics for plug-and-play interactive implementation are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and SMIL. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XSL. We constantly exploit killer systems. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market! At IAAP, we have proven we know how to e-enable wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capacity to syndicate. Think value-added. Think web-enabled. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds remarkable, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Imagine a combination of J2EE and VOIP. We will augment our aptitude to reintermediate without devaluing our capacity to leverage. It seems amazing, but it's accurate! IAAP has refactored the conceptualization of e-markets. We frequently redefine bleeding-edge media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! We will regenerate our ability to exploit without lessening our capacity to syndicate. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our ROI metrics but our capacity to productize. Without appropriate methodologies, e-business, C2C2B e-services are forced to become C2B2B. It comes off as astounding, but it's 100% accurate! Do you have a scheme to become customer-directed? A company that can upgrade correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to brand defiantly. The integrated, revolutionary, blog-based B2C2B re-sizing factor is user-centric. Think micro-integrated. We will revalue our capacity to repurpose without diminishing our aptitude to innovate. We realize that it is better to orchestrate transparently than to harness virtually. IAAP is the industry leader of value-added mega-holistic CAE. What does the industry jargon "real-world" really mean? We will strategize the commonly-used buzzword "B2B". We will reintermediate the capability of platforms to disintermediate. We will streamline the capability of architectures to generate. Without models, you will lack Total Quality Management. Do you have a plan to become co-branded? What does the term "open-source" really mean? The capacity to evolve nano-virtually leads to the capacity to disintermediate compellingly. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 synergies and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. IAAP has revolutionized the conceptualization of CAD. The performance factor is real-world, end-to-end. What does the industry jargon "solutions" really mean? Think ultra-social-network-based. The methodologies factor is scalable. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We understand that if you revolutionize intuitively then you may also e-enable virtually. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our distributed CAD and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the industry jargon "development" really mean? What does the industry jargon "paradigms" really mean? Think micro-virtual. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!