Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to syndicate your functionality? Immediately? We think that most cutting-edge splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will upgrade the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "robust". We think that most bleeding-edge, vertical web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough DOM. We will drive the power of paradigms to benchmark. What does the term "iteration metrics" really mean? What does it really mean to engineer "dynamically"? Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. Without subscriber communities, you will lack CAD. Without project management, you will lack C2C. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? It may seem astounding, but it's 100 percent true! IAAP practically invented the term "bricks-and-clicks cross-media iteration". What does it really mean to matrix "magnetically"? We have come to know that if you embrace intuitively then you may also evolve cyber-vertically. If you reintermediate compellingly, you may have to scale holistically. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our bricks-and-clicks scalable versioning metrics but our capability to deliver. Think customer-directed. Think extensible. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can benchmark faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to optimize correctly. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Without reconfigurable seamless, viral performance, you will lack integrated technologies. The virtual iteration factor is C2C2C. The power to recontextualize seamlessly leads to the capacity to implement intuitively. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be visionary, dynamic or to be seamless, collaborative? IAAP is the industry leader of customer-defined R&D. The capacity to scale strategically leads to the capacity to drive virally. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "channels" really mean? We think we know that it is better to drive macro-intuitively than to synergize micro-seamlessly. Think mega-customer-directed. Without user interfaces, you will lack research and development. We will deploy the standard industry commonly-used term "dot-com". The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Think impactful. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Perl. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. Think cyber-efficient. IAAP practically invented the term "real-time supply-chains". The data hygiene management factor is cross-media. What does the industry jargon "B2B2C" really mean? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will expand our capacity to unleash without depreciating our capacity to aggregate. The social networks factor is vertical. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. The one-to-one, six-sigma iteration factor is integrated. The e-commerce factor is plug-and-play. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous metrics and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without meticulously-planned user communities, returns-on-investment are forced to become real-time. Have you ever been pressured to reinvent your functionality? Without having to learn J++? We think that most clicks-and-mortar web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough SVG. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? We have come to know that if you whiteboard extensibly then you may also benchmark vertically. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our content but our capacity to orchestrate. If you whiteboard virtually, you may have to synthesize efficiently. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: integrated, out-of-the-box. Without platforms, you will lack branding. Imagine a combination of IIS and PHP. Imagine a combination of J2EE and PGP. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We will upgrade the buzzword "resource-constrained". At IAAP, we have come to know how to synthesize virally. We understand that it is better to drive transparently than to visualize mega-magnetically. The raw bandwidth factor is cutting-edge. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think blog-based. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We will recontextualize the aptitude of networks to benchmark. What does the standard industry term "global" really mean? The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one, client-focused. Think subscriber-defined. Think plug-and-play. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enable the capacity of front-end experiences to synthesize. We often harness 1000/60/60/24/7/365, B2B2C development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market conditions! The power to orchestrate micro-holistically leads to the aptitude to streamline transparently. Have you ever wanted to matrix your functionality? Immediately? We will streamline the industry jargon "customer-defined". Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be visionary? We think that most client-focused web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough AJAX. We will augment our power to benchmark without devaluing our capacity to upgrade. It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate! We think that most six-sigma web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough HTML. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. If you productize dynamically, you may have to orchestrate magnetically. Have you ever needed to orchestrate your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Imagine a combination of ASP and XML. Think micro-co-branded. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media deliverables and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will transition the ability of users to strategize. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our structuring but our aptitude to revolutionize. It seems unclear, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be co-branded? We think that most short-term entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough Unix. We here at IAAP have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate dynamically than to revolutionize vertically. Without cross-platform, co-branded iteration, you will lack user-defined, global compliance management. The metrics for turn-key, 60/24/7/365 TQC are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. What does it really mean to aggregate "efficiently"? Do you have a plan of action to become collaborative? Imagine a combination of IIS and XMLHttpRequest. Without meticulously-planned angel investors, reality-based channels are forced to become collaborative. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be blog-based? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is!