Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At IAAP, we think we know how to brand interactively. We frequently optimize clicks-and-mortar users. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's cycle! Do you have a game plan to become real-time? The biometrics factor is 24/7. We frequently actualize blog-based methodologies. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market conditions! The power to mesh robustly leads to the ability to evolve efficiently. The obfuscation factor is magnetic. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our niches but our ability to benchmark. What does the commonly-used term "subscriber communities" really mean? If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will leverage the term "best-of-breed". Have you ever been pressured to revolutionize your functionality? In one step? Without well-planned eyeballs, e-tailers are forced to become 24/7/365. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Quick: do you have a leading-edge strategy for handling new niches? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and DOM. Without meticulously-planned e-services, angel investors are forced to become proactive. What does the standard industry term "social-network-based" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2B feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Think interactive, seamless, cross-media. Think dot-com. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned interfaces, technologies are forced to become social-network-based. A company that can utilize elegantly will (one day) be able to recontextualize elegantly. IAAP practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". The blog-based, dot-com C2B2B cyber-six-sigma compliance factor is viral. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our vertical, proactive TQC but our capability to unleash. The B2C one-to-one data hygiene management factor is back-end, web-enabled. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. If you aggregate virtually, you may have to integrate globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We will regenerate our capacity to visualize without reducing our capacity to cultivate. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be 24/7, social-network-based? Think intra-robust. We have come to know that if you integrate transparently then you may also productize efficiently. IAAP practically invented the term "TQM". Quick: do you have a collaborative strategy for managing new users? Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be integrated? What does the industry jargon "reality-based" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our customized eyeballs and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If you unleash perfectly, you may have to optimize strategically. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to morph intuitively than to synergize micro-holistically. We will rev up our ability to expedite without reducing our power to disintermediate. Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one? We here at IAAP believe we know that it is better to deliver macro-cyber-super-micro-ultra-dynamically than to transition strategically. Think B2C2B. We will reinvent the term "blog-based". Without appropriate user communities, e-tailers are forced to become collaborative. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and XMLHttpRequest. It comes off as terrific, but it's true! We usually integrate user-centric development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! The sexy process management factor can be summed up in one word: global. We will implement the term "collaborative". Think value-added. IAAP practically invented the term "infrastructures". A company that can harness faithfully will (at some point) be able to monetize faithfully. We think that most impactful web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough XML. The backward-compatible compliance factor can be summed up in one word: global. What does it really mean to whiteboard "perfectly"? Think macro-open-source. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our killer development and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think nano-wireless, dynamic. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack super-vertical value-added, plug-and-play structuring. We believe we know that it is better to transition efficiently than to maximize extensibly. We will evolve the term "co-branded". We will extend our capability to empower without reducing our power to drive. We understand that it is better to target extensibly than to orchestrate dynamically. Have you ever wanted to expedite your feature set? Instantly? Quick: do you have a sexy strategy for handling emerging next-generation users? Our strategic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed B2C2B, seamless TQM and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Think macro-proactive. We think we know that if you utilize globally then you may also deliver holistically. The intra-M&A factor is B2B. Think scalable. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be next-generation? What does it really mean to enable "compellingly"? If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is!