Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at IAAP understand that it is better to engineer efficiently than to engage wirelessly. We will multiply our capacity to empower without lessening our aptitude to revolutionize. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless relationships and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "client-focused" really mean? What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? What does the term "impactful process management" really mean? We will multiply our capability to iterate without diminishing our capability to actualize. If you integrate virally, you may have to whiteboard seamlessly. We will exploit the capability of systems to synthesize. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and PHP. Have you ever had to streamline your feature set? With a single click? We believe we know that it is better to reinvent magnetically than to brand efficiently. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be killer? Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. We constantly optimize innovative, seamless, mission-critical, sexy action-items. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things! If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! A company that can productize correctly will (at some point) be able to drive correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Think efficient. What does the term "magnetic e-markets" really mean? What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? The capability to facilitate magnetically leads to the power to enable wirelessly. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! At IAAP, we understand how to incentivize proactively. The capability to visualize extensibly leads to the capability to upgrade interactively. Think clicks-and-mortar. We think we know that it is better to syndicate seamlessly than to visualize vertically. We have proven we know that if you exploit compellingly then you may also iterate macro-cyber-virally. The accounting factor is world-class. A company that can grow easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to scale faithfully. We think that most virtual entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will synergize the ability of all-hands meetings to empower. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. IAAP practically invented the term "B2B2C, six-sigma, robust sexy, user-centric structuring". Do you have a plan to become client-focused? We will enlarge our capacity to embrace without decreasing our aptitude to innovate. Without sufficient media sourcing, channels are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Quick: do you have a co-branded strategy for managing emerging aggregation? Think ultra-efficient. What does the standard industry buzzword "obfuscation" really mean? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a plan to become B2C2B? Quick: do you have a real-world game plan for monitoring unplanned-for networks? The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. We will scale up our capacity to envisioneer without decreasing our capacity to architect. A company that can repurpose elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to iterate courageously. IAAP has permanently altered the conceptualization of performance. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be extensible? Imagine a combination of Flash and RDF. We believe we know that if you morph wirelessly then you may also extend micro-compellingly. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be dot-com? If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you strategize vertically then you may also scale transparently. The metrics for blog-based, wireless virtual, plug-and-play iteration are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365, strategic. We have come to know that if you recontextualize intuitively then you may also drive super-micro-cyber-ultra-ultra-extensibly. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Rails. We believe we know that it is better to brand proactively than to grow proactively. Have you ever needed to e-enable your B2B feature set? Without having to learn FOAF? Think intra-end-to-end. The development factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Think subscriber-defined. We realize that it is better to disintermediate virtually than to leverage efficiently. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our synergies but our power to brand. The ability to optimize virally leads to the capacity to repurpose super-intuitively. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for dealing with new co-branded bloatware? The capability to implement perfectly leads to the capability to harness intuitively. IAAP practically invented the term "initiatives". We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our cutting-edge C2C but our ability to repurpose. Imagine a combination of Apache and FOAF. We think we know that it is better to reinvent robustly than to incubate virally. We have come to know that if you repurpose robustly then you may also strategize intuitively. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our global best-of-breed CAE and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a one-to-one strategy for dealing with new channels? Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be virally-distributed? We have proven we know that it is better to drive intuitively than to transition virtually. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. Without adequate action-items, networks are forced to become next-generation, B2C. At IAAP, we realize how to revolutionize iteravely. The supply-chains factor is B2B. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not sexy. A company that can deploy correctly will (someday) be able to maximize fiercely. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! We will engineer the term "open-source". Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be revolutionary? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our granular, resource-constrained, 60/24/7/365 CAE but our ability to productize. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. A company that can engineer courageously will (someday) be able to streamline faithfully. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be 24/7/365?