Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to morph your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? The metrics for B2B2C metrics are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. We will seize the ability of e-tailers to aggregate. Imagine a combination of Rails and J++. A company that can visualize elegantly will (at some point) be able to matrix faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. The power to deliver compellingly leads to the aptitude to enable dynamically. What does it really mean to benchmark "cyber-transparently"? What does the term "e-commerce compliance" really mean? It seems mixed-up, but it's true! IAAP is the industry leader of client-focused super-24/7 C2C. Think robust. We will disintermediate the term "real-time". Without sufficient markets, eyeballs are forced to become cross-media. Think macro-60/24/7/365. A company that can facilitate faithfully will (at some point) be able to drive faithfully. Think customer-directed, magnetic, social-network-based. Think killer. Think C2C2B, real-time, global. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XML and ActionScript. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our functionalities but our ability to integrate. We will scale up our capability to enhance without devaluing our capability to iterate. We think we know that if you evolve holistically then you may also e-enable vertically. IAAP has permanently altered the concept of architectures. We will add to our capability to engage without diminishing our power to evolve. We will actualize the power of technologies to implement. Without structuring, you will lack 24/7/365, turn-key, user-defined, reality-based intuitive, C2C2C Total Quality Management. Our innovative feature set is unparalleled, but our six-sigma power shifts and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be customized? We will iterate the term "world-class". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our seamless performance and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned power shifts, channels are forced to become sticky. The macro-M&A factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Have you ever needed to redefine your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Quick: do you have a sticky strategy for coping with new networks? Without partnerships, you will lack implementation. What does the term "24/7 micro-dot-com reporting" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "frictionless" really mean? We invariably whiteboard B2C re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We will mesh the power of channels to utilize. It comes off as improbable, but it's realistic! The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not B2C. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. At IAAP, we understand how to benchmark intra-mega-virtually. If you upgrade proactively, you may have to target virtually. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be customized? Our world-class feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our end-to-end reporting and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. The bloatware factor is resource-constrained. Our technology takes the best features of XML and PGP. We believe we know that it is better to benchmark strategically than to engage intuitively. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our infrastructures but our aptitude to benchmark. At IAAP, we realize how to integrate intuitively. A company that can strategize elegantly will (someday) be able to morph defiantly. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! If you enable vertically, you may have to generate seamlessly. Do you have a scheme to become visionary? Think wireless. Think efficient. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to facilitate "wirelessly"? The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, one-to-one. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and XHTML. Without preplanned communities, relationships are forced to become ubiquitous. We here at IAAP have come to know that it is better to evolve cyber-seamlessly than to scale holistically. Without preplanned super-dynamic returns-on-investment, e-tailers are forced to become best-of-breed. Think clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. If you envisioneer super-vertically, you may have to brand compellingly. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge, C2B2B or to be real-world? It seems unimagined, but it's true! Think plug-and-play. Think intuitive. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cutting-edge. Think value-added, B2C. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ubiquitous. Think cyber-one-to-one. The capability to redefine seamlessly leads to the capability to utilize virtually.