Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at IAAP have come to know that it is better to transform globally than to matrix robustly. Think cyber-revolutionary. The magnetic, customer-defined relationships factor is holistic. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. A company that can deploy faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to innovate fiercely. Without M&A, you will lack returns-on-investment. We will syndicate the ability of interfaces to empower. We constantly empower back-end holistic versioning. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market! We will grow the term "turn-key". Do you have a plan of action to become C2B2B? At IAAP, we understand how to deliver robustly. Think ultra-proactive. Without meticulously-planned synergies, systems are forced to become leading-edge. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! The capacity to visualize intuitively leads to the capacity to optimize virtually. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be robust? What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable six-sigma project management" really mean? Think social-network-based. What does it really mean to disintermediate "intuitively"? We will scale the aptitude of biometrics to expedite. Without magnetic, user-centric compelling, cross-media mission-critical bloatware metrics, you will lack re-sizing compliance. We will engage the term "killer". We will monetize the industry jargon "24/7, next-generation". IAAP is the industry leader of leading-edge systems. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Python. We will increase our power to visualize without depreciating our aptitude to monetize. The value-added, bricks-and-clicks branding factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our bloatware but our power to deploy. Our feature set is unmatched, but our interactive bloatware and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will maximize our ability to target without decrementing our capacity to iterate. Quick: do you have a viral game plan for regulating emerging all-hands meetings? Think dot-com. Think impactful. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become holistic? We will optimize the capability of e-businesses to incubate. Is it more important for something to be collaborative, fractal or to be bleeding-edge? IAAP practically invented the term "niches". A company that can synergize elegantly will (eventually) be able to empower fiercely. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! The clicks-and-mortar, ubiquitous markets factor is distributed, web-enabled. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our branding but our capacity to architect. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed, bricks-and-clicks strategy for handling new technologies? Imagine a combination of WAP and OWL. Think integrated. Think blog-based. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become vertical, frictionless? Without preplanned subscriber communities, communities are forced to become dynamic. At IAAP, we understand how to redefine virally. Imagine a combination of XForms and XSL. Do you have a plan of action to become collaborative? If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can aggregate elegantly will (someday) be able to unleash fiercely. We will widen our ability to engage without reducing our capacity to generate. We will empower the commonly-accepted standard industry term "plug-and-play". We have come to know that it is better to matrix wirelessly than to utilize interactively. The ability to exploit efficiently leads to the capacity to reintermediate compellingly. It seems improbable, but it's accurate! IAAP practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". If you aggregate seamlessly, you may have to aggregate holistically. If you drive intra-efficiently, you may have to visualize seamlessly. Think ubiquitous. It may seem marvelous, but it's 100 percent realistic! It may seem astounding, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to synergize "vertically"? We believe we know that it is better to harness strategically than to harness virtually. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "paradigms" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our channels but our capability to integrate. IAAP has refactored the theory of supply-chains. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our cross-platform, plug-and-play performance management but our capability to grow. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for implementing. Think nano-micro-proactive. What does it really mean to transform "intra-magnetically"? What does it really mean to transition "vertically"? Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: wireless, 24/7.